#writing OCs tips

[luna-azzurra]

Symbolism in Writing

Weather Symbolism

Rain: cleansing, sadness, renewal, obstacles

Sunshine: happiness, hope, clarity, energy

Storms: conflict, turmoil, dramatic change

Snow: purity, stillness, coldness, isolation

Fog: confusion, mystery, uncertainty

Wind: change, freedom, unrest, communication

Animal Symbolism

Eagle: freedom, vision, strength, courage

Lion: bravery, power, leadership, pride

Dove: peace, love, innocence, spirituality

Wolf: loyalty, cunning, survival, community

Snake: transformation, danger, temptation, wisdom

Butterfly: transformation, beauty, impermanence

Plant Symbolism

Rose: love, beauty, passion, secrecy

Oak Tree: strength, endurance, wisdom

Willow Tree: sadness, flexibility, resilience

Lotus Flower: purity, enlightenment, rebirth

Ivy: friendship, fidelity, eternity

Cactus: endurance, protection, warmth

Object Symbolism

Mirror: self-reflection, truth, illusion

Key: opportunity, secrets, freedom

Bridge: connection, transition, overcoming obstacles

Candle: hope, spirituality, life, guidance

Clock: time, mortality, urgency

Mask: disguise, deception, concealment

Number Symbolism

One: beginnings, unity, individuality

Two: partnership, balance, duality

Three: creativity, growth, completeness

Four: stability, order, foundation

Five: change, adventure, unpredictability

Seven: mystery, spirituality, luck

Season Symbolism

Spring: renewal, birth, growth, hope

Summer: vitality, abundance, joy, freedom

Autumn: change, maturity, decline, reflection

Winter: death, stillness, introspection, endurance

Light and Darkness Symbolism

Light: knowledge, purity, safety, enlightenment

Darkness: ignorance, evil, mystery, fear

Shadow: the unconscious, secrets, mystery

Twilight: ambiguity, transition, mystery

Element Symbolism

Fire: passion, destruction, energy, transformation

Water: emotion, intuition, life, change

Earth: stability, grounding, fertility, growth

Air: intellect, communication, freedom, change

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

50 Character Personality Traits + Meanings (For writers, worldbuilders, and artists) Part 1

Adventurous - Enjoys trying new experiences and exploring the unknown.

Ambitious - Driven to succeed and achieve their goals.

Analytical - Tends to think critically and examine things in-depth.

Artistic - Highly creative and expresses themselves through artistic mediums.

Assertive - Confident in expressing their thoughts and feelings.

Caring - Shows compassion and concern for the well-being of others.

Charismatic - Has a natural charm and appeal that draws people in.

Clever - Able to come up with creative solutions and make astute observations.

Compassionate - Displays empathy and a desire to help those in need.

Confident - Believes in their own abilities and is self-assured.

Conscientious - Reliable, responsible, and attentive to detail.

Curious - Eager to learn new things and explore the world around them.

Cynical - Tends to be skeptical and distrustful of others' motives.

Dependable - Can be counted on to follow through on their commitments.

Determined - Persistent in pursuing their goals and overcoming challenges.

Diplomatic - Skilled at navigating social situations and resolving conflicts.

Eccentric - Displays unconventional or unusual behaviors and interests.

Empathetic - Able to understand and share the feelings of others.

Ethical - Guided by a strong moral compass and a sense of right and wrong.

Extraverted - Enjoys being around people and draws energy from social interactions.

Flexible - Adaptable to changes and open to trying new approaches.

Forgiving - Willing to let go of past hurts and give people second chances.

Friendly - Approachable and enjoys building positive relationships with others.

Grounded - Practical, down-to-earth, and focused on the present.

Hardworking - Diligent and dedicated in their efforts to achieve their goals.

Honest - Values truthfulness and integrity in their words and actions.

Idealistic - Driven by a vision of how the world should be and a desire to make a difference.

Imaginative - Possesses a rich inner world and creative problem-solving abilities.

Independent - Prefers to think and act for themselves without relying on others.

Indecisive - Struggles with making decisions and often second-guesses themselves.

Introverted - Finds energy and fulfillment in solitary activities and introspection.

Jealous - Experiences feelings of resentment or insecurity towards others.

Kind - Gentle, considerate, and thoughtful in their treatment of others.

Leaders - Able to inspire and guide others towards a common goal.

Logical - Approaches problems and decisions through a rational, analytical lens.

Materialistic - Highly values the acquisition of possessions and wealth.

Organized - Maintains order and efficiency in their personal and professional life.

Perfectionistic - Strives for flawlessness and can be overly critical of themselves and others.

Pessimistic - Tends to focus on the negative aspects of situations and expect the worst.

Resilient - Able to bounce back from setbacks and adapt to changes.

Risk-taker - Willing to take chances and step outside of their comfort zone.

Sarcastic - Uses irony and witty remarks to convey their thoughts and feelings.

Sensitive - Deeply affected by the emotions and experiences of themselves and others.

Stubborn - Unwilling to change their mind or compromise on their beliefs and opinions.

Suspicious - Inclined to doubt the motives and intentions of others.

Thoughtful - Considerate of the impact their words and actions have on others.

Timid - Shy, reserved, and hesitant to take risks or assert themselves.

Trustworthy - Reliable, honest, and worthy of confidence.

Unpredictable - Displays an element of surprise and spontaneity in their behavior.

Witty - Possesses a quick, clever, and humorous way of expressing themselves.

Hey fellow writers! I'm super excited to share that I've just launched a Tumblr community. I'm inviting all of you to join my community. All you have to do is fill out this Google form, and I'll personally send you an invitation to join the Write Right Society on Tumblr! Can't wait to see your posts!

[deception-united]

Get to Know Your Character

Here are some questions to consider for character development:

What parts of their childhood trigger them?

How do they treat themselves when they're feeling sad?

What parts of themselves do they tend to hide?

How do they punish themselves when they make mistakes?

Who are they loyal to? Why?

Who do they avoid? Why?

What emotions or situations do they try to avoid? Why?

What angers them?

What are their insecurities?

What are their emotional triggers?

How do they feel about love?

What are their fears?

What is their relationship with their family like?

What kind of people do they tend to gravitate towards?

What do they like/dislike about themselves?

Happy writing ❤

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[so-many-ocs]

practical writing advice part 2

part 1

get used to carrying a notebook around with you. or get used to writing on your phone. you will not always have access to your computer, but it’s much easier to take something compact with you to quickly jot down ideas. also i have chronic illness and sometimes my bones feel like lead and going upstairs to get my laptop is a herculean task, BUT i can write on my phone lying down instead of just scrolling through my camera roll and being miserable. which brings me to my next point:

if you have to choose between writing unconventionally or even unproductively and not writing at all, choose the writing. i’ve said before not to create a habit of writing in bed, but if it comes down to writing in bed or not writing whatsoever, i’ll write in bed. i just try to stretch before and after (which you should also do!!!).

you’re not wasting time or being silly by making playlists or moodboards or memes of your characters and environments. having fun with your stories outside of writing them is a good way to stay motivated.

i like to stop my writing sessions in a place where i know exactly what i want to write next, so when i pick back up i won’t be left hemming and hawing over where to begin. HOWEVER, if you’re absolutely locked in, don’t interrupt that flow state. it’ll be harder to find it again later—instead, wait until you find a natural place to stop where you haven’t run out of ideas.

“why do i have a headache 3 hours into my writing session?” because the last time you had a sip of water was 4 hours ago, you dingus! keep your drinks near your workspace while you write. and i do mean, like, a full bottle of water at least. if you’re like me, things stop existing when they leave your line of sight, so keep these beverages where you can see them and refill during bathroom breaks.

uhhh try not to think negatively about your writing while you’re doing it because when i do that i just get bummed out. “this scene is terrible” -> “oh yeah fuck it up oh yeah fuck it up” (positive reframing)

ok thanks bye

[tanaor]

Want simple tips to heavily improve your skills with character voice??

(📝Note: character voice is the way you convey your character's personality though their pov or dialogue when you write. No two characters speak the same📝)

I speak from experience when I say character voice is hard to get right. Characters, like people, have lots of layers that affect the way they see the world around them and how they interact with other characters. That's why character voice is so important in stories, and why if you write it in a compelling and effective way it will hook people into your story. I hope you learn something new in this post!!

When writing character voice, there's a list of things that you should take into account:

Where are they from? Their past and what they've lived plays a huge part in character voice. Maybe your character grew by the ocean, and so they compare things from the present to the beach, the rocks or the sea itself. You will rarely read about a sailor that is an expert in pants and compares scents to flowers. They might, instead, talk about how a house smells like the wet wood of a ship.

Think about how their personality shapes their language. If they are insecure, they might end most of their sentences with "isn't it?" or "right?" and ask a lot of questions, whereas if you have a confident character, you might find them saying things like "we should do this" or "that will be fun" instead.

What their "lense" is. This is more of an ethic aspect of the character. What have they learn it's okay, and what do they find uncomfortable? Would they find it gross if their friend left laundry on the floor?

Give them special traits (both for dialogue and narration). Maybe character A quotes a lot when they narrate and uses long paragraphs, or maybe B speaks about their past a lot and uses popular sayings. Personally, one character of mine has the tendency to repeat himself when he speaks, as in "yeah, yeah, I'll do it" or "no, no, no. Never" because he is really enthusiastic, and it fits really well with his character.

Pay attention to how they would talk about themselves. Maybe your character doesn't like people to know they're sad because it makes them feel vulnerable, so they will just say they feel annoyed or don't want to talk in that moment. This also means that they will not tell the reader something they are not comfortable saying in the first place.

How is their education? Education is also very important in this context. Did they went to university and have a rich vocabulary and structured sentences, or where they rised in a little farm far from town? You can also play with both a bit: maybe your character did go to university, but maybe they also came from a low income family, and characteristic of both things merge when they talk. Example: long, structured, sentences but a simple and sight forward vocabulary.

That's all for now and happy writing!!

Other tips for writers: previous | next

[rheas-chaos-motivation]

What you HAVE TO know about your characters

Name:

Appearence:

Age:

Role:

Why the have that role, not based on the plot but based on the characters core beliefs and how that affects the plot:

Beliefs:

Motivations:

Who they were raised to be vs who they are/are becoming:

Plans for the future:

How they feel about themselves and how it affects their behavior:

Why do they even matter:

[dearesmeray]

Character Traits & Quirks (For Writers)

Peace and blessings upon everyone!

I hope life's treating you well. I’m Esmeray and I welcome you to this post on my blog Dear Esmeray.

Ever wondered what makes your OC truly unforgettable? I believe it is the character traits. Character traits are what bring a character to life, or else you just have a flat, one-dimensional everyman as your OC. So today I'll be sharing with you a list of character traits that I compiled to help you develop better OCs.

Positive Traits:

Agreeable

Brave

Caring

Cheerful

Confident

Cooperative

Creative

Dedicated

Devotion

Diligent

Disciplined

Dutiful

Easygoing

Efficient

Fairness

Forgiveness

Friendly

Funny

Generous

Hard-Working

Honest

Honorable

Humble

Kind

Leadership

Love of learning

Loyal

Passionate

Persuasive

Prudent

Principled

Punctual

Reasonable

Reliable

Respectful

Responsible

Self-regulation

Social Intelligence

Supportive

Trust-worthy

Well-mannered

Witty

Wise

Neutral Traits & Quirks:

Raises Eyebrows

Blinks rapidly

Avoids eye contact

Maintains eye contact

Blinks rapidly

Slouches

Stares off into the distance

Shrugs often

Touches their scars or wounds often

Chews lips

Paces around

Smiles a lot

Rarely smiles

Gestures with hands while speaking

Often is distracted

Hums

Negative Traits:

Absentminded

Abusive

Acts superior

Alcoholic

Aggressive

Always plays the victim

Aimless

Apathetic

Arrogant

Argumentive

Avoids their problems

Bossy

Blunt

Boring

Careless

Can't take criticism

Can't take a joke

Clumsy

Conceited

Controlling

Cunning

Childish

Cruel

Deceptive

Defiant

Demanding

Disloyal

Dishonest

Dramatic

Dependent

Disorganized

Disrespectful

Distracted easy

Extravagant

Envious

Forgetful

Greedy

Holds grudges

Makes up excuses for everything

Has a reason for why nothing is ever their fault

No accountability

Hostile

Hypopocrite

Immature

Impatient

Impractical

Impressionable

Impulsive

Insensitive

Irresponsible

Not a team player

Incompetent

Irritable

Inconsiderate

Indulgent

Insecure

Jealous

Know-It-All

Lazy

Liar

Loud

Manipulative

Makes everything about them

Makes everything a joke

Their way or the highway

Mean

Meddlesome

Messy

Naive

Nosy

Obnoxious

Obbssesive

Offended easily

Overdramatic

Overreacts

Patronizing

Power-hungry

Pretentious

Rebellious

Reckless

Rude

Sarcastic

Selfish

Sensitive

Stingy

Sexist

Spoiled

Stubborn

Superstitious

Talks over others/interrupts

Too loyal

Too forgiving

Undependable

Unreliable

Unsympathetic

Unorganized

Unreasonable

Violent

Weak

Remember, there are no one-dimensional characters in real life, and there shouldn't be in your stories either. The possibilities for your characters are endless – so get creative and have fun writing!

With Love, Esmeray ♡

[theplotmage]

Writing a Manipulative Character

- A manipulative character is a master of influence, skilled at bending others to their will without them even realizing it. Show their ability to read people, understanding their desires, fears, and weaknesses, and then use this knowledge to subtly guide their actions and decisions.

- These characters often present a facade of charm and trustworthiness. Highlight their charismatic nature and how they can easily win people over, making others believe that they have their best interests at heart, while secretly pulling the strings.

- A manipulative character is adept at creating and controlling narratives. Demonstrate their talent for spinning stories, spreading misinformation, and planting seeds of doubt to achieve their objectives. They always have a backup plan and can think several steps ahead.

- They thrive on secrecy and deception. Illustrate how they carefully conceal their true intentions and motives, keeping their schemes hidden while appearing innocent or even benevolent. They might use half-truths and strategic omissions to maintain control.

- Show their capacity for patience and strategic thinking. A manipulative character knows that some plans take time to come to fruition. They are willing to wait, gradually nudging events and people in their desired direction until they achieve their goal.

- Highlight their emotional intelligence. These characters can read a room, detect subtle shifts in mood, and adjust their approach accordingly. They know exactly when to apply pressure, offer comfort, or feign vulnerability to manipulate others.

- They often exploit relationships and social dynamics. Depict how they use friendships, family ties, and professional connections to their advantage, playing people against each other or leveraging loyalty and trust to further their own ends.

- A manipulative character is skilled at deflecting blame and responsibility. Show how they can twist situations to make others seem at fault, creating scapegoats or diverting attention from their own actions. They are experts at maintaining a clean image while orchestrating chaos behind the scenes.

- They use flattery and validation as tools. Illustrate their ability to make others feel special, understood, and valued, all the while steering them towards choices that serve the manipulator's agenda.

- Lastly, demonstrate the manipulative character's adaptability. They can quickly change tactics if their initial approach fails, always finding new ways to influence and control those around them. They are chameleons, constantly adjusting their persona to fit the needs of the moment.

[szynkaaa]

Just a Stone Monkey and his mortal lover

🔞🔞🔞 NSFW under cut you have been warned 🔞🔞🔞

Old Sun at some point figured out that his mortal companion was attracted to his Stone Monkey form, and confronted her about it (he thinks it's interesting and funny)

and ofc Oz denied it with every inch of her life (she thinks the Monkey King already has a big enough ego)

Cue later on Sun Wukong decides to tease her by transforming into the Stone Monkey and play a game of cat and mouse through the Mount Huaguo forest.

And after he caught her, he is gonna throw her on his shoulder, walk away somewhere private and then she's dinner.

[choccy-milky]

seb's 2 modes around clora 🥰👿

[luna-azzurra]

Soft Gestures for Comfort

Bringing them a blanket when they’re curled up on the couch.

Whispering, "It’s okay, I’m here," when they wake up from a bad dream.

Stroking their hair gently when they’re lying on your lap.

Running a warm bath for them after a tough day.

Holding them close and saying, "I’ve got you," when they’re upset.

Preparing their favorite comfort food when they’re feeling low.

Turning off their alarm and letting them sleep in when they’re exhausted.

Reading their favorite book to them before bed.

Playing their favorite soothing music to help them relax.

Just sitting in silence with them, letting them know your presence is their safe space.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Reblog your own posts. Like all the time if you want.

This site isn't algorithmic sometimes if you miss it you just miss it.

But reblog your old fics and old pieces. Reblog your own funny text posts. It's not embarrassing and honestly if you're a content creator, I suggest you get into the habit of doing it every once in a while because if it's not on a master list I think there's whole posts your new followers will just never see

You work hard on stuff and the internet teaches us that content is only good for a week before it spoils and that's just not true.

[deception-united]

Get to Know Your Character #2

More asks!

What good/bad traits do they bring out in others?

What views do they have that differ from/contradict those of the other characters?

What would be their reason for causing a scene in public?

What qualities do they look for or value in a partner/friend?

What do they consider red flags in a partner/friend?

What is something you should never do to them?

What is their most important or enforced boundary?

What would break them?

What would push them to physical altercation or violence during an argument?

How do they act in their worst moments?

What embarrasses them the most?

What joke would amuse them?

What does it take to gain their trust?

In what scenario would they feel most comfortable?

In what scenario would they feel most uncomfortable?

How do they take criticism?

What part of their past are they most ashamed of?

What part of their past are they most proud of?

What do they believe is the worst fate one can befall?

How do they view death?

See my previous post for more:

Happy writing ❤

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[3hks]

How to Write an IMPACTFUL Backstory

Honestly, writing and reading about backstories is probably one of my favorite parts of a character's story! It's a strong foundation for a character's goals, motives, thoughts, and actions! Its most powerful effect, on the other hand, is its ability to change one's view on a character. So, then, how do we write such an impactful past?

For beginners, the more tragic the backstory, the better. While this does hold some truth, let me re-iterate that it's for beginners. The idea behind it is that a pure, devastatingly pitiful backstory is unique and pulls at your reader's heartstrings. Unfortunately, instead, we're left with an origin story that feels superficial, overly-dramatic, unnecessary, and shallow. However in this post, I will give you some tips on how to avoid creating such 2D backgrounds and actually bring your character's past to life!

First, your character's backstory can be made with whatever components you choose, but the key is that you must balance them out correctly. Additionally, the majority of the time, you do want their story to stick out, so I suggest trying to come up with something original! It's much harder than it sounds, but honestly, every other protagonist has dead parents at this point. Be creative, add details, and don't be afraid to let your character go through things if you feel that it's fitting!

Second, don't extend their past for too long. The point of introducing the backstory is to elaborate on a (few) certain event(s) that affected your character the most and forever changed their lives. Keep it centered around one, or at most, a couple events.

Next, most writers tend to use sadness and/or to fuel the character, but it should not be overbearing and excessive. Alternatively, it should feel GENUINE. Not dramatic, but genuine. Different genres do form different types of backstories, yes, but the core concept behind it should be something natural. It should be something that your readers will be able to understand; something authentic. They should feel some sense of relatability, even if it's just a little. This could be like family issues, broken friendships, betrayals, leaving someone, mental struggles, loneliness, etc. Complexity can surround these concepts, but the basic, fundamental ideas should still be present.

Furthermore, be sure that their backstory makes sense. Even if you're introducing it through quick, brief flashbacks, ultimately, you want the reader to have all the pieces to solve the puzzle.

Last but not least, make your backstory feel personal to your character! Build it in a sense that if it were to go to any other character, it wouldn't have an effect that's as severe. Make it targeted to its owner. While this is something that can be difficult to execute, it really provides insight to your character, and is an easy way to add some intricacy to a simple backstory! A good place to start is thinking about the things personal to your character. For instance, this could be their past before the event, people they care about, their morals, etc. Then, add it in said event so that it pushes and/or challenges your character in a way that makes them re-evaluate that value.

There you go! Here are my personal tips on how to upgrade your character's backstory and have it really impact your reader! Be creative, keep it centered around a couple things, make it genuine, and make it targeted to the character!

Happy writing~

3hks <3

[topazadine]

Avoiding therapy speak in writing

I think we all know by now that therapy speak is irritating and unrealistic, especially if you are writing in a fantasy world that doesn't even have modern psychology.

Part of the reason that it is so annoying is that it is the definition of telling instead of showing: characters are just plainly informing us of their feelings rather than making us work for a better understanding. It's cheap and boring. Instead of making your characters seem like complex individuals with their own hangups and difficulties, they seem like plot points programmed to tell us things.

But obviously, you want to put these people in situations and have them talk about it! How do you do that without sounding maudlin? Here are some options.

Listen to real arguments/conversations

I cannot stress enough how important it is to listen to how actual real human beings talk to each other during heightened emotional states. They don't have to be nasty abusers, and they don't have to be perfect angels, just everyday people doing their normal thing.

Of course, I'd hope you're not seeing people argue all the time, but if you do happen to see it, listen carefully and notice how people actually address their problems. Think back to tough conversations that you have had, even if you wouldn't classify them as arguments. Consider how people acted and reacted to one another. Notice how normal humans talk about issues outside of therapy, even intelligent and emotionally evolved people.

I've had years of therapy, and even I do not talk in therapy ways about my issues when I'm talking to my family or friends. It just feels cheesy and fake outside of that particular setting - plus, it freaks other people out and can seem kind of manipulative. Try talking like that in a real conversation and see how uncomfortable it is. You'll understand why avoiding therapy speak is important.

Consider the character's own hangups

Just as everyone has their own unique speaking style and mindset, so do we all have our own argument styles. These are often informed by our pasts and upbringing; they are as varied as our own histories. However, there are a few different options.

Someone with a happy upbringing may be more assertive and willing to address their problems because they had that demonstrated to them as children.

A spoiled child will grow up to be a demanding adult who refuses to give any quarter.

Those who got yelled at a lot as children may shut down and fawn to avoid getting hurt.

Someone who grew up in a violent household may mimic that behavior and get incredibly aggressive when upset.

Individuals whose parents didn't teach them emotional regulation will lash out and get loud.

Manipulative people may stay very calm and gaslight the other person, or they may get hysterical to garner sympathy and make people focus on comforting them.

Someone who has gone to therapy may revert to their original argument style, or they may imperfectly apply what they have learned in a way that feels a bit unnatural. They may start out with rage, then force themselves to calm down through grounding techniques.

People who have been coached through previous emotional outbursts could demand a time out, then fail to actually calm themselves down.

Some may refuse to acknowledge they are upset and insist, in increasingly forceful terms, that they are fine.

Others may get quiet or crack a joke to ease the tension, but it doesn't really help.

Keep each confrontation short

IRL, emotional confrontations are generally not that long. They don't go on for hours and hours, though it can feel that way. No one is going on and on about their feelings and sharing every little detail of how they feel (at least not that I know of personally, maybe other people are different).

Even the worst arguments I have had, the real nexus of the argument was maybe an hour or two, though the fallout lasted much longer. I'd say there was an hour maximum of real, active confrontation, preceded or followed by hours/days/weeks of simmering frustration.

Why? Because arguments are exhausting. You don't have the energy for that in the heat of the moment. Yes, feuds and fights can last years, but each actual confrontation is short.

For longer, more serious issues, hash it out over a few sessions rather than all at once. It's rare to get everything out of the way immediately unless the characters already have a strong, loving relationship.

Show incongruencies

Especially for more reserved people, they will likely have their emotions leaking all over the place but won't actually say anything. As such, focus on body language while keeping the conversation more focused on the plot. For example, Character A might be crying but still trying to argue their point about whatever is going on.

Address physical complaints instead of emotional ones

In many cases, people will use "I'm tired" or "I didn't sleep well" or "I'm not feeling great" as shorthand for whatever is actually bothering them. It relieves pressure by not making them talk about upsetting matters while still addressing their discomfort in some form.

You should also consider the fact that some people can't connect physical sensations to feelings, so they may genuinely feel ill and not really understand why. This is especially common in people who can't emotionally regulate or have been through trauma.

For myself, I tend to somatize my feelings, so I might not feel upset, but I will feel physically sick. My stomach will hurt, my chest will get tight, or I'll get a headache, but my emotional state will seem calm. This isn't all that unusual, and many people experience this to different degrees.

As such, you can have your character say that their stomach hurts, or that they have a headache and can't discuss this anymore, or that they need to go lie down because they're dizzy. If we know they're relatively healthy, this can be a clue that they're getting overwhelmed but either cannot pinpoint their emotions or don't want to discuss them.

Let characters advance and retreat

A lot of the time, someone will address a scary emotion and then retreat again, sometimes over a period of hours, days, or even weeks. This is normal: most of us don't have the emotional fortitude to forge ahead through something difficult all in one go. Character A may say something vulnerable, then change the topic, laugh it off, say they're done discussing it, or even leave the situation.

Leave emotions partially unaddressed

Again, it's rare for someone to spill out everything they're feeling all in one go. As such, have Character A address the most important thing - or the least important, depending on their level of emotional maturity - and let it be done for then.

They might say their small piece, but when someone tries to probe deeper, they don't have an answer, or they get "stuck" on that one emotional level and cannot go further.

If Character B keeps pushing, then they may get incredibly upset and push back, or retreat.

Have Character B point out the feelings

Works especially well if the other character is a close companion or a parental figure. Often, people who know us really well will have better insight into our emotions than we do. Or, we might have good insight into our emotions but are still too afraid to open up. Having Character B point out the issue gives Character A grace to be more honest.

I can't tell you how many times I've been really upset, so I've distracted from the issue by getting angry about something completely different. Then, my mom will gently point out that I'm not actually crying about my new plastic cup being broken or whatever; I'm actually upset about XYZ. In that moment, I realize I've been caught out and admit that yes, that's what I'm really upset about.

Have Character A address it with a third character

Who among us hasn't gone to someone else to talk about our feelings? Having a third party serve as a sounding board is normal. Sometimes, Character A will feel such catharsis from this conversation that they don't address it as thoroughly with Character B.

Of course, you can use this to your advantage and create more tension if the third character gives bad advice or is biased.

Remember that just because the third party responded well does not mean that Character B does. You also have to avoid omniscience and remember that Character B wasn't privy to that conversation.

Have one confrontation be a stand-in for a larger one

I always think about the "The Iranian Yogurt Is Not the Issue" post when I think about this. Often times, things like not doing the dishes or whatever aren't actually the big deal: it's lack of boundaries, communication, or respect. A minor argument can be shorthand for a larger one that is too challenging for the characters to tackle.

This isn't just creating drama for the hell of it, though; it's about exploring the larger issues without making the characters lay it out on the table. A good reader will be able to see it's not about the Iranian Yogurt as long as you set up the relationship well.

Currently, I am writing a story where Uileac and his sister Cerie go to rescue Uileac's husband, Orrinir. On the way there, Uileac idly comments on how he wonders where a waterfall comes from because he's trying to distract himself from thinking about the fact that his husband is kidnapped and possibly dead.

Cerie, being pretty wound up too, starts arguing with him about it because she's like "why is this relevant? We're kind of too busy to think about geology right now!" Uileac gets annoyed at her for being so aggro, and she gets annoyed at him for being so irreverent. Both of them are upset about something completely different, but they're too scared and panicked to actually address that, so they release their frustrations by complaining about waterfalls.

Those bad vibes have to go somewhere, but neither of them are very good at talking about their feelings (though very good at stuffing them down). As such, they take the pressure off by sniping at one another. You've probably done this too, when you get into a dumb argument about something absolutely pointless because there's something you don't feel strong enough to discuss.

There's also the fact that if you're mad at someone about something but feel it's too stupid or petty to discuss, that frustration will leak out and everything else they do will annoy you, leading to a bunch of irrelevant arguments.

Use "reaffirmation" gestures

I talked about this in a different post, but after an argument, the "make up" stage doesn't always involve going "ohhh I forgive you" and big hugs and kisses, especially when the two characters aren't emotionally mature.

Instead, Character A makes gestures that reaffirm the relationship. This could be offering to do something Character B needs, making plans for later, or changing the topic to discuss something the other character cares about ("how are your cats doing?") etc.

Note that these "reaffirmation" gestures aren't the same as the cycle of abuse. This is more when two characters have had a difficult emotional conversation but aren't really sure how to continue being emotionally open, so they revert to something safer that still shows they care. They're not over-the-top gestures either, but more a special attention to something the other person loves. Knowing what the other person loves also demonstrates the depth of their relationship.

As always, I can't tell you what to do with your writing.

You are the crafter of your own story, and if you want people to talk like therapists for whatever reason, that's your choice. However, we want characters to feel like real people, and most real people don't lay it all out on the table every single time they're upset. If they do, they might be trauma vomiting, which is icky in and of itself.

Healthy communication isn't always perfect communication. People can have strong, loving relationships and still get things wrong - we're human. Having people calmly and rationally and easily talk about their feelings every single time is not only kind of boring, but it also feels weird, because unless we're primed to discuss those difficult topics and know we're perfectly safe, we're not going to do that.

People don't even do that in therapy, where they are paying for the service of talking about their feelings! Therapists also don't always do that IRL!

We're humans, and your characters need to feel like humans as well. That means letting them be imperfect communicators and using context clues rather than making them do all the work for the reader.

If you liked my advice, consider purchasing my book, 9 Years Yearning, for $3!

[tanaor]

Want some easy tip to make your characters 100% more believable??

I learned this some time ago, and wanted to share it because it has really helped me A LOT.

Think of your characters and imagine how they would be in their best moment and in their worst. But not like, happiest and darkest moment. Think of it as their healthiest and most toxic moments. Everyone is healthy sometimes and toxic sometimes. USE THAT. Write a about it, describe them and their actions in both situations.

Maybe you have a character that can be crazy possessive when toxic, but really supportive when healthy. Who knows?

Once you write that, chances are you already know how their gonna behave in almost any situation that pushes them to be healthier/ more toxic. Plus, you can also use it for your characters' positive/ negative arc or to develop relationships with other characters.

Happy writing!! 😙😙

Other tips for writers: next