#writeaways

[muskaanayesha]

I am the eldest daughter, which is to say that I am a sponge that absorbs all the trauma of the household. Life is spilt milk and I am a kitchen cloth burnt at the edges. I am falling apart at the corners, threads coming away, rips and ripples like I am torn and trembling in an ocean of nothingness. I am the eldest daughter, which is to say that I empathize with everyone. The love of my life marries someone else, and I find myself hoping that he loves her the same. My brother wishes hell upon me and I toss and turn in my sleep over the tears I saw in his eyes. Life is an accidental fire and I am water. I attempt to stop a tragedy I did not start, to go blindly into a catastrophe that I cannot halt. I am the eldest daughter, which is to say that I am silent in my needs. My father asks me what I'd like to eat and I say that I am not hungry. I will chew on my guilt and swallow my pride before I even think of asking for anything. I buy myself a sweet and nothing tastes as bitter as it. Life is a metaphor for debt and I am drowning in the desire to be as insignificant as possible. I demand nothing and nothing demands me.

[circadeacademia]

Icarus, I know how it felt

I too, was a sunflower once

a summer song, a bard in motion.

I too, longed to be kissed by poems

to be fallen apart, crumbled against the palms like golden dust….

I too, inked moth’s madness onto my skin

chained my fate with ember sparks.

melted wax running down my shoulders

like sweet release of an angel's sin,

my ablaze skin

death's breath against my chin

but the fire that never really burnt out

was fuelled by the flames of my heart.

had the dead dreaming of the fireflies

ripped open my ribcage;

had the song of ocean turned my world upside down

had this bizarre triumph condemned me

to you for my heaven and inferno;

had my twisted fate, been a second too slow

I would've plummeted a supernova from the sky….

ruins of my hubris rained like burnt crystals

warped out of shape and time

was it my destiny to drown?

half ashes, half ocean in my lungs?

was it laugh of a madman?

echoing as I danced my way down?

one kiss. heaven’s venomous lips.

fallen. from one blue to the other.

to steal moment's golden bliss.

was it love? or damnation of a poet?

I know how it felt.

to long the eternity once for myself.

— circadeacademia

[stardust-musing]

My professor said, “you don’t truly love someone until they’ve hurt you and you still think of them as the greatest person you’ve ever met. Love is a violent act.”

[flowerswedontsee]

Falling out of love.

Im sorry I'll let you go.

Im sorry i will leave with your life story and leave all my secrets with you.

Im sorry i wasted 8 years of your life and im sorry i didn't leave sooner.

Im sorry i will break your heart and im sorry i will leave you alone with your angry father and our lovely dogs.

Im sorry i won't see them age and won't know when they will pass away.

Im sorry i loved you more than all those girls before and im sorry i took such good care of you.

Not because you didn't deserve it,but because me leaving will be harder for you because of that.

Im sorry i'll leave.

Im sorry we will not age together and i fear the day i will run into you in a few years.

But mostly i am sorry that you are not the one.

Im sorry my children won't have your sad brown eyes and won't hear your soft voice.

Im sorry.

[deadlynnightshade]

[arshysky]

—unknown

[winteranddeath]

The letters never arrived, the texts didn't pop up, no calls were missed, and the door bell never rang.

I have almost stopped waiting.

[expominds]

another thing i dislike

‘when you paw at him, begging for more’ PAW? EXCUSE ME? am i a dog?

pls stop using this word i hate it sm. it has the same feeling it gives you like the word “moist”

[allmothsdied]

It was always

Be a good girl

Be a perfect girl

Be a daddy's girl

Be a mommy's girl

Be whatever they want

Be everything they want

Maybe then

they'll love you a little

Maybe then

You'll be good enough

No, never

And you tried harder

You starved yourself

You destroyed yourself

Your skin Your body

Inside out

How to ruin a girl

How to ruin a woman

So desperate to be loved

So desperate to be enough

Touch starved and lonely

Then you're little slut

Daddy issues

Mommy issues

Everything's wrong with her

Being good girl

Being a bad girl

Being whatever they want

Being everything they want

Fucking around

With older men

For illusion of intimacy

For illusion of care

For sweet little lies

Never loved never enough

[muskaanayesha]

Watching the eldest daughter take on the second mother role in a family (cannot interfere, it's a canon event)

[takucraig07]

A longing left untouched often gives birth to a violent obsession. So my heart fought, a desire no soul has quenched seemed to settle itself at your gaze. Maybe it is your eyes, they burnt of truth and soft promise. In my daydreams it was the red lipstick, I too would have loved to be painted by you a new colour. Your voice set a flower in my heart, one that bloomed at every word that fell from your dewy gracile lips!

—-To my muse

[Sincerely Craig]

[raisemerryhell]

𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓲𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓪 𝓴𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓻 𝓽𝓸𝓸

For writing: melindamblack.com

[circadeacademia]

The suicidal vampiress

A life sized stone wall between you and me.

but I watch wisteria locks spilling through these chipped rocks to this barren land

and I imagine, love must be the oldest shade of lavender.

I smell the wind blowing from your porch through the black sea —

carrying the same dying wish, drawing its last breath at my doorstep

and I imagine, love must be the deepest shade of gray.

I howl with the wolves in harmony, hoping for the moon to sing a lullaby my age

the morning has sun rays shimmer on the best parts of your face;

and I imagine, love must be the boldest shade of gold.

I might be on top of the food chain, but this yearning to put my heart at stake,

to give it to you in a cold casket, so you can pull a string & beat out of it —

is when I imagine, love must be a desperate red.

I stand guard to this behemoth fortress, soaking in petrichor decay

the sky owes me a summer, but then you brought fireflies into my hollow caves

and I imagine, love must be cerulean in your embrace.

all my youth, drowning in shades of blue in atlantis.

all my ruth, growing wildflowers in crevices of concrete.

all my years borrowed, sprinkling dust under the sun.

all my life, I imagined a rainbow death.

the suicidal vampiress….. they said.

but now I have summer in my bones, now I have the ocean's breath.

the wall between you and me, long fallen

I'm drenched in lavender, gold and gray

I left my cerulean heart at your crimson shrine

and now I'm home. and now I'm sleeping just fine.

— circadeacademia

[whispersofthepurplevalley]

Sometimes, all I do is sit on a rock, and wait for the sun to come to my corner of the sky and then slowly disappear. I place myself under the vast sky to remember how small I am and the puzzles I try to solve. I forget what I desperately chase to remember the promises I made to my soul.

-Sabina Yesmin

[flowerswedontsee]

Another unsent letter

Dont know why i still do this and why am i even trying.

How many letters ill never send,how many poems and how many songs.

Its been almost 10 years since we've met and 8 years since you left.

I have changed,

I have grown

And i have healed.

But its 22.50, im already 25 and i am writting this..to you.

Sometimes i think about if i ever even loved you. Mostly when i think about if you ever even loved me.

Maybe in your own fucked up way.

And oh god i did love you.

In my own fucked up way.

See maybe we're not so different.

Two narcissists together.

We were doomed from the beggining.

I guess we're both so different now. Makes me wonder if we have anything in common and what would we even talk about.

I would talk about my job and you'd talk about video games and your ex girlfriends.

But its one thing im sure of.

If we'd met now,we wouldn't even look at eachother, let alone like eachother.

But there was a time where you and i were the same. I tried my very best to morph into your other half and i was okay with being only a half.

But i was made for far bigger things and you were made to ruin things ,so that's why im here and you're there.

Thats why 10 years later i still write letters,poems and songs that you'll never hear.

Because having you near would be the death of me and I don't know how to live without a little bit of you. Even if its just in my thoughts.

I think- I know ill see you again. And speak to you and even love you. Just not in this lifetime.

Guess it was a right person, wrong lifetime kind of thing.