#write2015

[dsgrscribbles-blog]

new beginnings.

12/2/15

Before my birthday (next Thursday), I decided to give myself a make-over. I don’t mean the physical “I’m ugly but watch me transform” kind of make-over. I’m too old for that shit. 

It started this past weekend, when I decided to “clean house” and declutter my life, beginning with my closet. I said goodbye to some of my favorite outfits that haven't seen the light of day since 2008; farewells long overdue. Once that was done, I moved on to the guest room/office. I found a lot my old writings -- random free writes, love letters, venting paper sessions, drawings... They made me miss that younger version of myself. She was raw and emotional. Sexual and soft. Curious and ambitious. Confident. 

Not that I’m all that different now, 10 or more years later depending on when you start count. I’m just a little older. Maybe a little less raw. That youthful don’t give a shit hustle flame has fizzled and cooled in the shadows of adulthood and responsibility(ies). My ambitions have shifted and the person who once threw a middle finger up to the concerns and expectations of others, is now a bit more political professional. Even so, while younger me was a pistol, she was also a little arrogant and assholey. 

I am happy. I am married. I have two dogs. Just graduated law school and according to a few, “I’ve grown up.” 

I guess this space is for me. To write. The fact that it’s on a public platform is perhaps to hold myself accountable and to not lose or misplace that sense of self in loose ended pages and random notebooks, set on layaway until found again in another 10 years. 

[lspacehoe]

Life is a bright thing. At least it seems like that for the first years of your life, but then, suddenly the ‘’positive bubble’’ gets holes, and you start to feel the breee of agony. To your eye humans stop being this god-like species, and become monsters that not even nightmares have. The love you had for yourself,that made your bubble shine,  turns off to become a mear shadow. Innocence dies, hate lives. I wish i could tell you it is all fantasy stuff, but the bubble is long  gone.

[turnsolnyc-blog]

wounds covered in salt

in some ways I wish I still had you. I think of you and remember the way we used to laugh together and just lay in bed confessing our love for one another these are the times I wish I can have you always like a tattoo on my heart other times when I think of the way you abandond the love we had and began to love someone else... those things I wish I can erase but those are the things that stayed,like deep scars covered in salt.

[another-broken-hello]

A writer's world.

[jewlz-n-gemz77]

These are pretty rad 😎

[kateelizabeth615]

I write because nobody listens

[caffinatedd]

I don't know what to say or do anymore.

I’ve cried too many times this week. (7.31)

[wouldvebeensweet]

I want help. But I don’t want to seem weak. I want a hand to hold. But the pain is not something I want people to see. I want someone to tell me it’s going to be okay. But I want to do this on my own. I want be okay again. But pain is all I’ve ever known. I want to be happy again. But I’m stuck with permanent sorrow. I want to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But strength is not something I can not borrow. I want to be able to let go of all of these things. But I don’t want people to know that I need saving.

I Want - June 9th 2015

[brxkenbrunette-blog]

I am not going to pretend that I do not think about us. We had a wildfire love that ran away almost as fast as you did. I am not going to pretend that I do not miss you. But I have fallen in love again, and this time it will not leave me bruised in the process.

10:23 (pm)

[writesummer-blog]

"At the end of the day, it's the sweet taste of your lips that makes me forget all the bitter in my life.”

- My saviour

[onlyfriendlost]

Things are finally looking up for once and I won’t let you ruin it.

April 27th // #2

[akhornbeck]

Trivia CHAMPIONS (sort of)

I missed Thursday and Friday on account of WAY TOO MUCH EXCITEMENT (Thursday) and laziness/wine (Friday). Oh well! Onward.

Thursday was the annual awards show for the ultra-nerdy trivia night I go to every week with Austin and some friends (including my cool boss). It's held just down the street from my apartment, in the banquet hall of a World War II veterans' club. This is no standard pub trivia; questions range from things like "what tiny nation is the world's biggest exporter of sausage casings and false teeth"1 and "where are you if you are witnessing an individual 'balling the queen'?"2 to picture puzzles, word games, audio clues, and extremely obscure lists. On the very rare occasion that a sports question happens, the whole room boos.

At last year's awards night, my team had only been playing together on a regular basis for about six months. Even so, we had done well enough in that time to take home the most hilariously mediocre trophy I have ever personally won -- Rookie of the Year, 2nd Place. (The trophy itself was a small, creepy golden baby, which I tragically can't find a photo of.)

This year, though, we totally cleaned up in the trophy department. Here's our haul for the night:

I know the inscriptions are a little hard to read, but from left to right they are:

7th Place

Highest Percentage of Points Scored (87%)

Guest Hosts

HECK YEAH.

Apparently we jumped from 21st place last year to 7th place this year, so that's pretty cool.

And YEAH, one of our trophies is basically a participation award, but guest hosting is DANG HARD and I have no problems accepting a small golden plastic orator for our efforts.

After all that excitement, we also managed to squeak into second place (via tiebreaker) on last's night set, bringing our TOTAL haul to three trophies and $100 in cash. Not a bad start to the trivia year!

6th place better WATCH ITS BACK.

Lichtenstein ↩︎

In a beehive ↩︎

[caffinatedd]

I feel absolutely and utterly helpless.

My mouth hurts from frowning, my teeth hurt from clenching. (7.28)

[wouldvebeensweet]

I've fought this battle many times before and each time I thought I won but I'm getting to the point where I want to lay my armor down and say that I'm done it's hard to keep holding on when nothing is going right I used to believe that I was strong but I can barely make it through the night I need a reason to hold on I need a reason to exist because honestly I'm not sure how much longer I can go on feeling like this I'm losing grip on everything I thought was concrete I need a reason to fight I need a reason to be

My thoughts in third hour

[write20xx]

This is probably bad timing after my random onslaught of drabbles but I'm really excited to read whoever is doing write2015.