#write something original bitch
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i've been getting ads for this book of the month club or whatever lately, but i just got another one i hadn't seen before where the person in it is recommending the love hypothesis, like hey. hang on. you can't fool me. i know that book. i know it's just reylo fanfiction with the serial numbers filed off. get out of here with that shit.
#i have full disrespect for people who write a fanfic and then change a few things and publish it professionally#write something original bitch#idc if its reylo or harry styles reader inserts or whatever. don't make money off of fanfics.#at least. don't publish them and make money that way.#i think people who make money off of fan art and fanfics through kofi and patreon are fine#everyone who's interacting with that knows that it's fanworks#but don't pass off your fanworks as being wholly yours#that means you too cassandra clare you can also catch these hands#harry potter incest fic writing ass
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love how we all went into redemption either wary of or expecting to hate harry but within two episodes we all collectively went, oh, he’s just some lil weird guy and we adopted him just like the leverage crew did
#the writers definitely knew what they were doing writing him#I think it’s definitely interesting and a feat to good writing because we were technically losing two series regulars and they had the task#of both finding new characters while also making sure they wouldn’t just erase or dismiss the old characters#they had to come up with something completely different and have it appealing enough to satisfy us as we are missing two of our original#beloved characters (nate and hardison)#and they came up with harry lmao#he’s such blorbo shaped#skinny little dude that is a former evil lawyer bad dad forgot he was bisexual until he saw eliot fighting#skrunkly lil gamer guy pathetic man silly little disguises way too enthusiastic just happy to be there#honestly me too bitch#jackie talks#mine#leverage#leverage redemption#meta#harry wilson#harry wilson meta#leverage redemption meta#leverage meta#character appreciation
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for prompts, might I suggest a number 14 with Julian takin care of Kira, and a ‘it feels worse than it looks—no wait-‘ with Julian being a bad patient?
oh my god I finally fucking finished it.
I am SO SORRY this took so long I got hit with. the most violent writer's block ive had in a HOT minute and this had me fighting for my life. I dont even know how many times I wrote and rewrote this. I went through so many different ideas it was actually ridiculous. at one point I had something finished but it Was Not Good and I dont believe in posting writing I dont like so I scrapped it and started again
I keep waffling on whether or not I like this, but thats entirely because ive spent way too long staring at it. im sure in a few days ill actually really like it, cause I really like the dialogue, which was what I wrote out first. pulling myself out of my perfectionism, I do think I like this, and at the very least im proud of getting it down when it gave me so much trouble
again, im so sorry it took so long, but writer's block is a bitch and ive had a lot going on lately, so I hope you understand <3
for the readers- 14 on the list is "Stop pretending that any of this is ok. It's not." I did adjust that one a bit cause I was having trouble making it flow. but, without further ado, here's what I've got!
Kira slides down with her back against the wall, grinding her teeth as she clutches at her wounded shoulder. The pain is still hot, the hole burned into her skin practically still smoking. She hisses as her palm makes contact with the sticky, raw flesh, but she still clamps down.
“Anytime you wanna get over here, Julian!” She calls, her voice strained.
“Doing my best, Major!” Julian calls from where he is, hunkered down behind some debris as a makeshift shield against the barrage of disruptor fire.
This is, in eloquent terms, a right fucking mess. Getting into a fight with a bunch of Jem’Hadar soldiers is never a good thing, even when they’re prepared. When they’re not prepared, it’s even worse. And this time, they weren’t prepared. Because there weren’t supposed to be any Jem’Hadar on this planet. This was supposed to be a quick pit stop for the Defiant, replacing some whatsit that O’Brien said was damaged in their last firefight, but then there were Jem’Hadar soldiers and they’ve managed to land themselves in a whole different firefight.
It really just hasn’t been a great week.
Kira inches closer to the wall’s edge. Her grip on her phaser isn’t stable, but it’ll have to do. She takes a deep, steadying breath, and then she twists over so that she’s peering out from behind the corner. She spots the Jem’Hadar pinning them down, quick count tells here there’s 3 of them, and she snaps her phaser up to hit them with some fire of her own. The motion pulls at her injured shoulder in a way that makes her want to scream, but she bites down on it.
Julian, bless him, takes the opportunity to lunge out from behind the debris. He scrambles across the gap, barely dodging the returning fire from the Jem’Hadar, and manages to throw himself down behind the security of the wall. He plasters himself up against the wall beside Kira, right as she ducks back behind cover as the Jem’Hadar’s fire intensifies.
Kira looks at him. He looks at her. He’s breathing hard and heavy, his hair a mess and dirt and blood staining his face. She musters up a grin to tell him, “You’re late.”
Julian gives her a flat look as he turns to her. “Forgive me, it’s a bit difficult to make house calls in the middle of a battlefield,” He replies, sounding very, very tired. But then his eyes flick to her bloody hand, still clamped over her wounded shoulder, and she watches his expression shift as he clicks back into what’s affectionately referred to as doctor mode, “Let’s see that shoulder, then.”
Kira moves her hand, letting Julian get a look at the wound. She winces as he pulls aside the burnt fabric, taking a deep breath in through her nose and resisting the reflex to jerk away. “How’s it look?” She asks, mostly just to distract herself.
“Like it needs more than what I’ve got,” Julian replies, frowning, “The dermal regenerator I have will do for now, but this is deep. I’ll need to immobilize your arm,” He tells her, giving her an apologetic look, “If you move it too much, you’ll risk tearing it open again.”
“Just do what you have to,” Kira tells him, “Won’t be the first time I’ve had to shoot myself out with only one arm.”
Julian nods, and returns his attention to her wound. “Right,” He pulls his kit up and rifles through it for a second. The first thing he pulls out is a hypospray, which he quickly sticks into her neck. Kira relaxes fractionally as the painkillers immediately start to work, dulling some of the burning in her shoulder. Then he’s pulling out the dermal regenerator, and bracing his hand against her shoulder again, “Try to hold still.” He advises.
Kira just gives a tight nod, already gritting her teeth and bracing herself. She feels the dermal regenerator start to work. The hypo helps, but it doesn’t take away that burning, itchy sort of feeling of muscle and nerves and skin stitching itself back together inch by inch. She clenches her fists tight, breathing hard through her nose as Julian works.
“Sorry, I know this stings,” Julian says, “I’m doing the best I can. This regenerator wasn’t meant for a wound like this.”
Kira grunts a wordless acknowledgement. If she says anything, it’s just going to be a string of curses. Instead, she focuses on keeping her ear on the sound of disruptor fire, making sure it isn’t getting closer. If the Jem’Hadar decide to come after them, she wants to be ready.
“Done,” Julian pipes up. She looks over as he puts the regenerator back in his kit, taking the worst of the pain with it and leaving her with a dull ache, “That’s the hard part done. I’m going to move your arm now,” His hands are gentle, taking her arm and carefully easing it away from her side, “There we go. Alright, hold it there, please.”
Kira does. Julian sits back, and unzips his jacket to get at his undershirt. “This will have to do,” He tells her, tearing a couple of strips from his undershirt, “These won’t be the most comfortable, but they’ll have to do. I’m out of bandages.” He leans back in, starting to bind her arm with the torn fabric.
“Sorry about your shirt.” She cracks weakly.
“I’ll get a new one.” He replies, without so much as a smile.
She hates how flat his voice is. Hates how… unlike him, it is. Quiet, with no bite. “C’mon, Julian, where’s that boyish optimism of yours?” She asks, “I could really use a hit of it right about now.”
Julian secures the bandage around her arm. “I must’ve dropped it when they started shooting at us,” He says, not meeting her eyes, “Do me a favour, Major. Don’t pretend any of this is ok,” He sits back again, still not meeting her eyes, all caught up in taking in his work, “Cause it’s really not.” He does look her in the eye, then. And he looks so… tired.
But then, he’s looked like that for a while, hasn’t he?
Kira gives him a smile. A sad, quiet little smile. “I never said any of this was ok,” She corrects, “I’m just… used to it, at this point.” Very, very used to it. Used to it in a way she hopes he never is.
Julian considers that for a moment. His expression is hard to read- sad, maybe. Sympathetic. Then he sighs, and breaks eye contact. “Well, I suppose I’m getting used to it, too,” He scrubs a bloody hand through his hair, “We should get going. Can you walk?” He asks.
No time for sentiment, then. Kira nods. “It’s just the arm,” She assures him, “I can do a hell of a lot more than walk.”
“Good,” Julian starts to push himself up to stand, “Let’s-“ He doesn’t get far. He wobbles suddenly, his eyes widening slightly as he nearly topples right over. He barely manages to catch himself, bracing a hand against the wall before he can fall against it.
Kira quickly reaches out to steady him. “Julian?” She sits up, frowning, “What’s wrong?”
Julian frowns, confused. “I… don’t know,” He says, looking down, “I can’t feel my-“ He cuts off, suddenly, his eyes fixing on something, “Ah.”
Kira’s brow furrows. “Ah? What’s-“ She follows his gaze, and comes to the same abrupt halt as she sees just what he’s found, “Ah.”
Julian has a substantial wound in his thigh. A chunk of his pant leg has been burned away, revealing a raw, painful-looking burn that’s steadily oozing blood down his leg. Kira’s eyes widen at the sight of it. That doesn’t look good. That really doesn’t look good.
“Well,” Julian says, “That’s not ideal.” And then he sways alarmingly, nearly crumpling right to the ground.
“Julian!” Kira lurches forward, manages to catch him by the arms. He grimaces as he eases himself down, taking his weight off his injured leg, “Damnit, Julian, what were you thinking ignoring this? Gimme that tricorder-“ She reaches for his medkit, not waiting for him as she rummages through it herself.
“I wasn’t ignoring it!” He exclaims, “I couldn’t feel it! Honest!”
Kira finds the tricorder and pulls it out. “Don’t tell me they augmented the ability to feel pain out of you,” He shifts again, adjusting his position to give her a better angle to scan him, and it draws a painful hiss out of him, “Guess not.” She hums.
Julian manages a weak chuckle, the first one she’s gotten out of him all day. “Not as such,” He confirms, “I’ve just been- gah!” He grinds his molars as she pulls the burnt fabric away from the wound, “Preoccupied.” He growls.
Kira huffs softly as she reads the results on the tricorder. It’s not a fun wound. “So busy trying not to get shot that you didn’t realize you got shot?” She asks, arching a brow at him, “I’m almost impressed.”
“Only almost?” Julian asks, all mock indignation, “I’d hate to see what I’d have to do to actually impress you,” He mutters. His eyes drift down, then back up at her. He looks worried, “How bad is it?”
Kira puts the tricorder down. “How bad does it feel?” She dodges.
“Pfft, this little thing?” He scoffs, gives a weak little wave that’s probably went to ‘wave off’ the pain, “It’s nothing. Just a scratch. It feels worse than it… no. No, wait, that’s not right,” He blinks, and she can almost see the gears in his head turning as he tries to figure out the order of the words, “I don’t mean to alarm you, Major, but I think the shock might be setting in.” He tells her.
Kira can’t help but roll her eyes. “No kidding,” She says, “This isn’t my first time, Julian. Hand me the regenerator, I’ll do what I can with it.” She holds her hand out expectantly.
Julian hands it over. “Now who’s being serious?” He asks.
Kira adjusts how she’s holding him, making sure she’s holding the burnt edges of his uniform away from his skin so that she doesn’t accidentally fuse any fabric to him. “Oh, so you can make jokes,” She takes the dermal regenerator and adjusts her hold on it, making sure it won’t slide out of her hand, which is slick with blood, “I thought you dropped that along with your optimism.” She gets the regenerator going, doing what she can with the wound.
Julian chuckles again, grins at her. “I told you, the shock’s setting in,” He replies, all charm, “I’ll say anything just to say anything. Apologies, but I’m going to be talking your ear off until we get out of here.” He warns.
Kira keeps her eyes on her work, keeps her hand braced on his thigh to hold him still. “As opposed to when you don’t talk my ear off.” She counters. After a few seconds, she can see that the burn’s healed as much as it’s going to. She switches the regenerator off and hands it back to him.
“Rude,” Julian huffs, taking the regenerator and putting it back in his medkit, “How’d the regenerator do? I don’t want to look.” He’s looking even as he says it, like he can’t help himself.
“It’ll hold,” She tells him, not seeing any point in sugar-coating it. He would see right through her in a second, “For now. I’m gonna bandage it, just in case,” She adds. Now it’s her turn to get at her undershirt, tear it up for strips of fabric, “I liked this shirt, you know.” She informs him as she does.
“I suppose we’re even, then,” Julian cracks weakly, “Have I ever told you you’d make a great medic?” He asks.
There’s the Julian she knows. “Flattery will get you nowhere,” She tells him. Satisfied with her bandages, she gets them ready, “I do have one question for you, Doctor.”
Julian frowns, confused. Yeah, the shock really has set in if he can’t see what she’s doing. “Go ahead.” He invites.
Kira starts wrapping his leg. “What are your plans for the rest of the day?” She asks.
He looks even more confused. “What are my-“ She yanks the bandages tight before he can finish, and he cuts off with a pitched yelp, “Fuck!”
Maybe it’s a bit mean to chuckle, but Kira can’t help it. She doesn’t often get to hear him curse. “Oh, language,” She tuts as she finishes tying the bandages off, “There. Nice and tight. That oughta hold you together till we get out of here.” She gives his knee a pat.
Julian pouts at her. “You enjoyed that.” He accuses.
“I did no such thing,” Kira replies smoothly as she pulls his medkit closer to her and starts rifling through it, not bothering to ask him, “Want a hypo?” She offers.
“No,” Julian shakes his head, making her stop short and give him an incredulous look, “I’ve only got the one left. Save it for someone who needs it.” He reasons.
Her look quickly flattens. “Don’t start with the heroics, Julian,” She advises, “You’re not gonna be treating any patients until after you’ve been treated. On the Defiant.” She doubts he can even stand on his own, let alone treat people.
“I can hold out till then,” He insists, “Someone else might-“
“Julian,” Kira cuts in, not giving him any room to argue, “Take the fucking hypo.”
Julian’s brows shoot up and he looks a little stunned. Just for a moment, though, before he huffs a bit of a laugh. “Now who needs to watch their language,” He says, his tone light and teasing, “Alright, go ahead.” He nods.
Kira takes the hypo out of his kit. “Oh, thank you,” She replies, making sure her own tone savours strongly of sarcasm, “You’re a terrible patient, you know that?”
There’s that grin again. All charm. “So Nurse Jabara keeps telling me.” He replies, like the pain in the ass he is.
“You should listen to her. She’s always right,” Kira sticks the hypo in his neck, and watches his shoulders instantly sink down a notch. She didn’t even realize how tense he was, “Better?” She asks.
Julian takes a deep breath. Probably the first one he’s taken all day. “…Much,” He admits, with the decency to look a little sheepish, “Thank you, Major.” His smile’s a bit less charm now, a bit more sincere.
Kira finds herself smiling back. “Anytime,” She says. She shoots a quick look around, regaining her bearings a bit now that they’re both taken care of. She can still hear blasters firing, but not as close. They might’ve moved off somewhere else. Or they could be waiting, “We should probably get moving.” She suggests.
“Probably,” Julian agrees, “Just one problem, though. I don’t think I can walk.” He tells her.
Kira figured. “Can you limp?” She asks, “I’ve still got two good shoulders, both perfectly good for leaning on.” She offers, patting her shoulder for emphasis.
There’s that glint in his eye. First time she’s seen it today- stubborn determination, or, in another word, cocky. “I think I can manage that.” He says.
Kira grins. “Great,” She ducks in and gets her arm around his waist, pulling him in snug against her as he wraps his arm around her shoulders, “Alright, lean on me. Steady. And…” She pushes herself up, and brings him with her. He leans heavy into her side, and she tightens her hold on him to keep him steady, “Up we go. Ready?” She asks.
Julian takes a moment to find his balance, shifting most of his weight off of his injured leg and compensating on Kira’s shoulder. “As I can be,” He tells her with a nod, “Let’s go.”
And they’re off. Making quite the sight as they hobble back into the action, pressed hip to hip and clinging tight to each other. But, hey, they’re still kicking, and they’ve still got their phasers, so they’ll make do. They always do.
#fic bitching#star trek: ds9#kira nerys#julian bashir#like I said I really like the diaogue#I had fun writing the dialogue#and it came to me pretty easily once I settled on what I wanted with the scene#this was originally. a bunch of things#my first idea was two separate scenes#and I drafted several versions of those#but they just wouldnt flow#even the one I had literally finished just. I did not like it#it was not good#and I dont say that to be hard on myself I know im a good writer and what I wrote wasn't good and thats fine!#they cant all be bangers#but I wasn't gonna post something i knew wasn't good#hopefully the wait was worth it cause like I said while I keep scowling at this#I know its cause im grumpy it took so long#and its cause ive stared at it for way too long so it was never gonna look right#until I posted it#anyways! thats enough tag rambling#I hope you enjoy!#I love Julian and Kira theyre besties in my brain
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really wish people would read blog rules more, it makes running blogs like this very low reward and you feel like a machine if people aren't commenting and aren't even abiding by one of the, honestly, very few and politely phrased rules i even have
#then i'm left trying not to respond like a bitch when the rules are there in the first place so i don't have to have negative interactions#with the people who come to this blog#like keeping it 100 you write for yourself but you write for ENGAGEMENT and COMMUNITY#and these days in fandom there really is no community#for any fandom across the board#people see something and move on#that's bad enough at killing fandoms#but the fact that a creator can have really only one super hard rule and it gets disregarded every day#day in and day out! and i really mean it this rule gets broken in my inbox DAILY man!#i write for a lot of small fandoms or smaller characters i love the characters i'm happy to do it#but i have an adult job. college. friends. family. my own original creative projects#and even if i don't respond to the asks where people are blatantly violating /again/#one of my FEW rules#it's exhausting to even see it !!!#it makes me not feel like a person#who cares what the girl behind the screen asked me not to do? right?? but i'm about done#i'm only at my breaking point because i've had this blog now for what three or four years??#and no matter how i phrase the rule people break it#no matter how many reminder posts#it's exhausting because it's an every day daily thing#idk maybe i'll feel better abt it in the morning but i'm getting exhausted tbh#exhausted as in this blog might be going BYE BYE i wont delete i think you'd have it up until tumblr goes away but i am getting pissed off#TRULY pissed off bc it's been years of me asking cmon now
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wait i AM brilliant oh my god
#sophie speaks#my other cod:mw idea wasnt really hitting right but like#i have found something that ticks all the boxes#and it does what i think is most important for me when writing longfics which like... captures whatever feeling the piece of media gives me#like www captures the chaotic moral love/hate of the original batfam#the questions of responsibility and loyalty and where you're supposed to draw the line#and this fic is about the darkness of man. of the bitter taste of military and how living in a world like the cod:mw one fucks you up.#how it leaves you practically a shell of yourself. that you could never be whoever you were before#but its also about loyalty to your family above all.#also the reader in this one is just. genuinely a bitch lmao she is 100% using the boys for her own gain and she doesn't care at all
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wip wednesday: pedal to the floor on the slider one-shot this week
#gimme another week/week and a half for it#i still need to write the following years: 1978. 1986. 2002-2006. 2007-2012.#but that’s it.#sitting at about 13k currently. will likely be around 20k.#an exercise in writing expeditiously#1. guys being dudes (fixing relationships w/ percussive maintenance)#2. ‘bitch’ was originally something much worse & might be something much worse on ao3#do i have to warn people for the c-word on ao3?#3. the truth come out#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#icemav#top gun#top gun maverick#top gun fanfiction#ron slider kerner#anytime i write ice saying something ‘gently’ it should be read#with exactly the same tone and cadence of val kilmer’s nick rivers saying ‘uh nothing my dad thought of it while he was shaving’#that's a joke for those of you who've seen top secret (1984)
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Me researching the history of racism in movies PRAYING that the Algorithms That Be don't misinterpret me searching "anti-Black media" as an aspirational choice.
Brb deleting my browser history so Google doesn't think I'm a tradwife...
#original#anti racism#I'm writing an essay on this one particular trope in media and I realized there's this extensive history about it that I need to understand#it's such a bitch cuz if I did something like search the Hindenberg the algorithm wouldn’t be like Ah You Must Love Lighting People On Fire#but with racism stuff sometimes it's like QANON IS CALLINGGGG#and I'm like NOOOOOOO#anti racist media
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#wanted to write something fluffy on xmas eve...#instead realised that Rosalie's anxiety wouldn't let Astarion finish his Act 2 speech first time round#now angst central#on some level it seems I will always be that bitch who's Cousland threw Alistair's rose on the ground in her dragon age origins fic#alexa play 'fucked myself up on purpose' plz#wip: an honest lie
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man. i really thought i knew where this was going and now. i once again realize i have no idea what i'm doing
#i was gonna try to do something where i mirrored as much of canon as i could#but that's not really gonna work with the setting i have i don't think#but. today i got like 2-3 different ideas and figured out how to make character motivations make more sense#and how to reflect a few different major canon events in this one#when my plan was originally to only make vague reference to them or ignore them wholesale#so. augh. now i have to figure all this out again#it's fine i'm having fun but god. good goddamn do i have no idea what i'm doing#it's also one of those things where i Know i'm gonna get pretty serious rsd from posting it#bc i know this au is niche#there are literally no people in my life outside of my immediate family that cares about the sports fusion this is.#and i am having an incredibly fun time making this indycar au#but i also feel it in my bones that i'm gonna put in all this work and like. very few people are gonna click on it#just bc of the relative unpopularity of this particular motorsport#it would absolutely be more popular if this was a formula 1 fusion. might even make sense with how much of the cast is european#unfortunately for me i do not give a single damn about f1. indycar is my bag#so. it's my fic and i'll mash my fixations together the way i want to#this isn't really bitching that much bc i am Going To Write This Regardless Of Consequences#but i can feel this one being. niche.#and to round off what i started this with: i really thought i knew what my plot was. and now i am realizing that i am going to#constantly be making changes to it for a while#and i'm starting school again in like. a week. so this will slow me down even more
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Realizing I barely write in French anymore hm
#🤨 hm idk#i would like to start making my comics in French a lil more and my other writing too#actually i would like to start writing more in general#entering adulthood and having an apartment and bills and much more responsibilities#i have not been as productive and creative as I would have liked#but I’ve managed to get back into it with art#i force myself to draw even if its bad just to do it and have something ive drawn#and ive been getting into traditional art and some craft projects as well#something i havent really done before#because im a stubborn bitch who refused to learn how to paint correctly#i was frustrated that my drawing skills didn’t translate to other art forms so i didn’t explore them#and yes my digital art skills are better than traditional but im just enjoying it and learning as i go#ok im talking a lot#lmao absolutely not related to the original post this too is art
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so how about them overseers and howlers huh
#nw writing#original writing#dishonored#overseer#dishonored overseer#*slaps video game* this bitch can fit so many plotlines about religious guilt#might be posting something on the ao3 about this later
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eeeuuuuggghhh i'm gonna bitch in the tags a bit bcus this isn't like. serious enough to put more effort into it than that but i also don't want it to sit in my brain.
#little rock.txt#venting#self harm in tags btw#anyway. wow i hate intrusive thoughts.#like great guys. it's so cool that the way we're deciding to spend our time is constantly thinking about ways to hurt myself#oh wow stabbing myself with a knife someone left on the counter? so original. never been seen before#oh starving myself?? even when my lovely friend made us a whole dinner?? that's lovely. wow. not even a little bit rude#standing in traffic until someone comes and hits me? at least that wouldn't damage my fucking car like your other ideas!#taking something sharp to my sunburns for a two-birds-one-stone thing?? i guess you're making the best of the circumstances#like jesus fucking christ Grow Up. am i fifteen goddamn years old again#like if we're being So real the consequences of actually self-harming Far outweigh the benefits so i'm not at any real risk#(i do Not want to deal with the fallout of 1. cleaning those wounds 2. confronting my housemates with active self-harm#they actively do not deserve that happening to them)#(hi guys btw sorry. i'm fine)#but that just means i'm sitting here like. so are you gonna be productive or....?#like i had plans of what i wanted to do with my brain power tonight. was gonna write. maybe clip a stream. and we're...?#oh just sitting on my laptop playing music too loud bcus if i could hear my own thoughts it'd be a nightmare? neat.#jesus christ can i be a normal goddamn person for like fifteen minutes and get out of this anxiety spiral. it's been over 24 hours.#whatever. like at this point it's fucking whatever. if i can't drag myself into being productive i'm just gonna go to bed.#“opal is being mean to yourself really going to help” i don't know. i doubt it. unfortunately i am in the mood to be a bitch#and the only person who deserves to deal with bitchy opal is me. so.#anyway if you read all of this uuuhhh sorry. i am like this. but hey. thank you for caring
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((…Y’know there are SO many issues with Hien and the writing surrounding him
But uh
“Why didn’t he just give the amnesiac woman to the FUCKING GARLEAN EMPIRE” is not one of them wtf))
#; mun ranting#not reblogging the original post mostly because I have a giant bone to pick here but like#of all the things wrong with Hien’s writing#the blatant imperialism towards the Xaela#the staunch refusal to do anything about the fuckin sex slaver and blaming HER for it#(or least that’s how the ENG text is written!)#the way that this COULD be interesting characterization#of the very morally-grey sort#if the text wasn’t kinda hellbent on excusing him from consequences#that that’s probably a result of IRL Japan’s seriously bloody history on all these things#where they constantly pull a USA and either insist it didn’t happen#or that it wasn’t THAT bad#…not giving up the lady who can’t even remember her own name#to the asshole empire who likes to backstab everyone anyway#sure ain’t one of ‘em#okay pettiness done time to go do something actually useful#instead of bitching on the Internet
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Writing really is sacred, huh.
#i whine and i bitch about tradpub and the unending fight to get a little gold medal pinned to my lapel that says 'this bastard did it!'#but at the end of the day i just feel a great sense of joy that i can sit and tell a story.#i often talk to my therapist about how intimate it is for me to just create. how i don't think i'd've survived my youth without it.#seanan's thread sparked the realization that yeah. fic built me from a very young age.#fic was really there going 'i think there's something you need to learn about yourself' and it only took me until my 30s#to realize why my 'avatars' were always male despite my anger towards the male dominated industry.#these past three years in which i finally embraced telling original stories have been amusing#because himi looked at me and said 'well all your protags are trans guys so' to which i was genuinely shocked#because i hadn't even realized it.#i have a lot of complex feelings about MY gender on the daily and while i'm still not there#i am elated that writing has been the vehicle to get me by since i was 8.#etc etc i have a lot of thoughts and feelings and to say i love writing feels reductive.#text tag.
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i got shirley jackson’s dark tales for christmas and ough short horror stories my beloved
#honestly just one of my favorite forms of horror- if not favorite form of media- of all time#jackson didnt do it but im so glad ''monkeys paw'' is a common saying/meme bc ive read the original story and i LOVE it#its so fucked up#im literally only one story in dark tales (''the possibility of evil'') and it was so good. idk if id call it horror but goddamn#like i know ppl like miss strangeworth irl and yeah thats what theyre like oh my god shes so hatable and i love it#i love how its subtle but u can tell shes a bitch because of how she talks to people even before the reveal#like how she notices that mr lewis looks anxious and miserable and still makes a snarky comment about him forgetting#to remind her of her weekly tea. when hes literally a grocery store worker. (one she knows personally but like still)#and then on TOP of that its revealed that SHES the reason he and everyone else is miserable??? and she knows this???#and shes like ''oh its a wonderful thing that i write letters insulting people and spreading rumors bc its my job#to make sure evil doesnt prevail!'' but in trying to prevent conflict she just causes it#and she literally KNOWS its fucked up bc she never credits the letters and tries to deliver them when no one can see#and talks abt how disgusting and awful itd be if ppl learned it was her#and its her own pride that fucks her over bc she looks at kids w disdain and ignores them while still acting ''nice''#that she doesnt notice when one of them calls after her and says she dropped her things#and the final line is just so GOOD#mmgmgmgmgmmggm i love short stories short stories my beloved#they do something good to my brain i like it#echoed voice
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Honestly a lot of my favorite horror ends up being games I 100% will never play and wouldn't enjoy playing, but that I managed to find someone who was able to convey enough to me to make me really care (though often leaving holes that I really want to fill but either can't sit through the whole playthough, or can't find the right playthrough, or... similar, you know?)
Dead Space, Marrow, Siren... all games I really like, games that have a lot (or uh... what's it called... Som... Sola... Signalis!)
But Dead Space I can't find the right playthrough, and Marrow I just crave something more from an imperfect game (video I watched is by doshdoshington)
Or supergreatfriend's playthrough of Siren is pretty much flawless... but... it's like 59 15-30mintue long videos, and the 60th explainer video is nearly 3 hours long on it's own... I always make it like 20 videos in before not being able to pay attention anymore
(Also like his playthrough of Deadly Premonition)
So you maybe see my problem, all these great pieces of horror I can really only engage with through these weird one off means that never quite leave me satisfied (like no way I'm beating MyHouse.WAD, I'm not even close to that good nor do I enjoy playing DOOM even if I respect it)
Love horror, just can't stand anything made in the genre because it all sucks and is boring and has stupid twists or pacing that annoys me and I hate everything about it except a few gems I can't interact with
But like I said, love horror
#mm tag so i can find things later#I'm just so so so so so so so so so so so so picky with horror#and it's not that my taste is objectively right; even though I am right about... mhh...#I'm right about things like shaky cam as a genre sucking not only cause of the way it's filmed but cause of the writing#but I'm not write about Saw being bland boring shit; that one's just a preference#like I know the first one's bold; and I'm not here to ruin other people's fun cause that's not an objective statement#but the difference is that the Saw movies might be well made and I can't tell; where as a lot of shaky cam are just trash#and oh how many movies have an interesting premise but have annoying 20 somethings#yes I would like to hear about Paris catacombs horror; and what a good title you have... why do your characters sound so annoying#first and foremost your characters must not annoy me#new Alien was good in part because only one character annoyed me; and while he got people killed he died#it's not that he deserved to die; but I was happy to be rid of him#and the original Alien is good because no one annoys me#that's not enough to make a movie good... but it sure is something that's probably true if I'm gonna like a horror movie#not based around something that could happen in the real world like a serial killer getting someone to let him spend the night#and people don't fucking annoy me... if you've done that... proceed and I'll take a look#but if you do the first one I'll take my leave without assessing your quality#and if you do the second one I won't even fucking watch you and if I do I'm almost certain to be bored and skip through you#conflict with the horror is so much more interesting to me than people being bitchy at each other#like Dead Space... that's different; unitoligists (for one thing; aren't a monolith; there's good people there) aren't catty#they're not annoying snippy little bitches who act like high schoolers#like yeah fuck that guy who made the regenerator both cause he's awful and cause that's a horrible enemy type#but at least he was just a crazy asshole with a civilized veneer and not an unstable 20 something that'll kill their friend with a rock#like you don't write all this stupid shit if you don't care about something#but I just have such trouble finding anything to enjoy in horror#love it though; really really do#oh add System Shock to the list of games I can't find a way to even get into; but really like and respect and wish I could
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