#superior original character writing if ye ask the masses

[banana-split-bitch-club]

rest in peace kny bloodlust mc you and roxana agriche would have truly been THE power lesbian couple of all time

[scarfdyedshadow]

On the Decline of Mage Characterization in Ancillary Type-Moon Works (or On Magi Getting Flanderized Into One-Dimensional Evil Arrogant Sods) Part 1: The Matter of Magi Themselves

Yes, I am dumb enough and obsessed enough to basically write an entire essay on this. Yes, the title is pretentious as all hell.

A disclaimer before we start though, this is not directed at or meant to condemn or call out or mock or invalidate the many a Tumblr shitpost on evil arrogant magi getting owned by Guda or various other characters. It may not be humor personally up my alley, but I understand the appeal, and it’s not like there isn’t some grain of truth to them. Likewise this isn’t meant to in any way condone anything Nasuverse magi. A fair amount of them are evil regardless of mitigating circumstances, a lot of the ones that aren’t outright evil have capacity to be evil because of ethos and mindset, and the acts they commit are certainly evil. I am not condoning them, or dismissing them as not evil. I simply urge a more nuanced rather than simplistic analysis of that evil. This also unfortunately omits Mahoyo, which probably has quite a bit of insight, because I haven’t gotten around to reading it yet, thus rendering me a fake fan you should not listen to. Thank you for your consideration. Also, spoilers.

This first part is primarily concerned with the inhumanity of magi and misconceptions about magi and their ethos as a whole, while the next part will actually go into the history of magus villains in Type-Moon works and what I feel is their decline, and build upon and further points of this part. There may be a potential third part on the Crypters, Gordolf, and Olga, the modern faces of Nasuverse magi and the greatest illustration that magi are far more nuanced, complex, pitiful and yet admirable, than they aren’t, and Nasu’s thesis statement on the power of love and life.

(Note: Okay my theme is actually pretty eyesearing to the point I recommend you read this on dash, I’ll go get it fixed)

"Do you know what it is that magi are aiming for?"

After a moment of blankness, Gray replied with a difficult expression.

"Umm...I heard about it in class. What was it...the Spiral of Origin?"

"Right. The Spiral of Origin, or more simply the Root. Sometimes it's referred to as「 」, the thing for which there can be no reference. It is the source of everything, the 'zero' from which all matter and phenomena flow. Ah, but now that I'm trying to put it into words, I'm realizing that's not a good idea. After all, even the idea of 'zero' has baggage that makes it unsuitable as a comparison."

"Regardless, the goal of magi is to eventually reach that place. Of course, there are also those who simply derive pleasure from touching the supernatural, or from being superhuman. Because we are weak, we fall to that diversion. But in the end, that's not our ultimate goal."

For modern magi, most understood that reaching the root was something that just wasn't possible for them. After all, even though magecraft itself had been in a state of continuing decline since the Age of Gods, there were no reports of anyone facing that past and trying to return to it. Likely, the appearance in the Far East of the fifth - and often called the last - Magician was the same as the gate to the Root being all but closed to everyone else.

Even so, we didn't give up.

Anyone who would give up in a situation like this would never have become a magus to begin with.

Ironically enough, despite opening up with a quote from Lord El-Melloi II Case Files, which I’ll have some critique for, the crux of my thesis is this. As originally presented in Kara no Kyoukai, and generally only kept up to a meaningful degree in other Nasu written works like Stay Night, Clock Tower 2015, and Grand Order, magi were the piteous, tragic, inhuman not as in inhumane but as in a broken machine product of an impossible ideal and a broken system. They were the villains, yes, unambiguously so, but at the same time they were sympathetic and nuanced to an extent that would decline down the road.

You see, Araya. A mage always lives hurriedly. What for? If it was for themselves alone they wouldn't bother with the outside world. So why do they intrude upon the rest of the world? Why do they rely upon it? What will they achieve with that power? What will they save with the Ars Magna (Ars Magna: Meaning 'great secret technique', it stands not for a technique that is not learnt through study but for a mystery that is secretly passed down)? If that was the case it would have been better for them to become a king instead of a mage.

You think people live foully, but you yourself would not be able to live like that. You would not be able to live while accepting the fact that you know that everything is worthless and base. You would not be able to live without the pride of knowing that you alone are special, and that you alone can save this crumbling world. Of course, I was like that too. But that sort of thing has no meaning. --- Accept it, Araya. We chose the path of transcendence called magecraft because we are weaker than everybody else.

Magi were presented as absurd, as farcical, as maddeningly helpless and hopeless compared to those living normal lives. This will come up in Part 2, especially as pertains to Touko and Gordolf and the like, but normal everyday life, not superior thematic superpowers or an army of Servants, is what is truly far more powerful than any magi.

"... I'll just ask one thing. What do you mean when you say that secrets are kept even within that Association?"

Unexpectedly, I hear something from the sofa.

Over there is Shiki, who has been sitting there since before without a word. She's the type of person who doesn't get involved in a conversation that she's not interested in, so until now she had been staring at the scenery outside the window.

"--- There is that. A mage won't reveal the results of his experiments even within the Association. What the person next to them is researching, what their goals are, and what they have obtained are all a mystery. The only time a mage will reveal the results of their work is when they are passing it on to their descendants just before they die."

"Studying for their benefit alone, yet not using that power for their own sake? What purpose is there in a life like that, Touko? Is it that the goal is to learn, and the process is to learn too? If the only things you have are the beginning and the end, that's the same as having a zero."

Their pursuit for the truth is maddening. It is greedy yet at once devoid of greed. It is selfish yet at once devoid of selfishness. Their ethos and methodology are not fundamentally inhumane, but inhuman. Magi are an odd sort of creature indeed, and it isn’t the case that they’re all evil in their absurd quest. Indeed, virtually all early Nasuverse ancillary material, and this is still said today despite the opposite being true in practice, is that the vast majority of magi are shut ins who stay inside researching as opposed to eating babies.

The everyday life of a magus is mostly spent conducting research. Magi who use magic outside of a research capacity, such as those who use magi to work and profit for themselves, are few in number. People who treat magic as a tool, such as assassins, are called “spellcasters”, and are looked down upon with disdain by the magical establishment.

Furthermore, it is precisely because they are magi that few magi use magic in their daily lives.

Practically speaking, for every mage you see committing mass murder or fighting the mass murdering mage with superpowers, there are ten who we certainly can’t call conventionally moral, who we certainly can’t call normal humans, obsessively striving towards a seemingly impossible goal inhumanly but not inhumanely. Because Type-Moon does action series this has never been tenable to properly depict besides the minority, but it is the truth regardless. This is from a later work I actually have some measure of criticism for, but Strange Fake actually illustrates that point perfectly.

"A mage's mage," he muttered disgustedly to himself, eyes narrowed, "is no different from a hard-working corrupt politician." What about me? He wondered as soon as the words were out of his mouth. As long as corruption stayed hidden, it was difficult for the public to tell the difference between a corrupt politician and an honest one. In which case, mages, who never entered the public eye to begin with, probably ought to be lumped in with them. There were exceptions, but from the standpoint of the general public, mages were generally evil.

Other Nasu written works like Stay Night and Clock Tower 2015 also touch upon it.

Magic is just what it sounds like… magic. I don't care if you get ideas like abracadabra or whatever. You can just think of us as people who do strange things by casting spells. Oh, though it's not like we fly around on brooms or make stars appear with a wave of a wand. …Well, we could do that, but we don't bother as it's kind of meaningless. We're basically heretics who hide ourselves from the world. We're prohibited from standing out and even if we weren't, we would rather be at home studying magic.

Clock Tower 2015 especially hits it up by depicting what might be called the ideal magus, the point of being a magus that is often distorted by human concerns but that all of them are to some extent, not an inhumane monster but an inhuman man who has dedicated his life to magecraft.

"Ahhh, the life of a magus is so brief. It would have been great if I were born with just the brain and nothing else." Like what you just saw, Leiv was a pure academic magus. All his efforts were poured solely into his theory and magecraft. He cared naught of any other responsibilities, the application of his magecraft, his lineage, or building his faction. From Leiv's perspective, those magi were the same as the plebians that were "normal people". If one were to decipher the mystical, then he must sacrifice his humanity. A magus was a creature with nothing but magecraft on his mind. There was no room for burdens such as "life".

So to begin with, what we call magi are far from all arrogant murderous sods, and if anything arrogant murderous sods are the minority. They come in all manner of varieties, united simply by the pursuit of the impossible, by the desire to reach the truth, by the desire to transcend. Even more so than just that, they do have their values and ethics. They are often cruelly distorted, to the extent “magi parents” is a phrase that might as well be an oxymoron, but I would opine that as a product more of recent years than anything.

"Keep those for me. They are some awful cigarettes from Taiwan but I only have those now. Of course there isn't any company that made them, it's a famous item that some eccentric master made only one box of. Yeah, out of all my possessions that is the second most valuable thing I have." Leaving behind some strange words, she turned around and walked out. ... Perhaps her most valuable possession is herself, that kind of thought popped into my mind so I asked her, but she only turned back her head and answered. "That's rather rude. I know it's me but even I don't treat people like possessions." Like herself when she has her glasses on, she pouts as if she's sulking. And then, returning to her usual cool expression Touko-san continued talking. "Kokuto. Those people called mages, with an apprentice or other people they are close to they feel like parents. Since they are something like their offspring, they often fight desperately to protect them as well. ... Well, it's like that so relax and wait here. I'll bring Shiki back tonight." Thock thock, the sound of her walking away. Unable to say anything to her back, I let the brown-coated magician go.

That magi value their children, their apprentices, their legacies, even if only as a next step on the path to the Root, is also a truth echoed at the same time that it’s often contradicted. But then, magi are in of themselves contradictory creatures. After all, despite pursuing an inhuman ideal, despite throwing away their humanity, they themselves are still human. That contradiction between reality and ideals, best exemplified by Fate/Stay Night, is one of the themes at the heart of Nasu’s work.

So, to repeat it once more, magi as a whole, magi society as a whole, is not fundamentally inhumane but inhuman. That inhumanity often lends itself to the inhumane, but not necessarily, and indeed I opine that should be considered on a deeper level. That inhuman society is by no means a good thing, but to simply call it evil and magi evil and call it a day is to do a disservice to its nuance. There are arrogant murderous magi as well, sure, but they too are products of a tenacious ideal, they are the long shadow cast by lineages stretching for thousands of years.

In reality, what really forged the magus of the modern day was not a supernatural power or transcendent conscience, but a tenacity built and reinforced over generations. Clinging to a shadowed, intense ideology for hundreds, or in some cases even thousands of years, developed its own sort of extreme power. Even if science were to exceed magecraft in all other respects, as long as that ideal survived, magecraft itself would be ineradicable.

But what then of Souren Araya? What of that bastard Zouken and worst dad of the year Tokiomi and that arrogant asshole Kayneth? Rest well assured that I will cover them in exacting detail in the next part of whatever the hell this is, and everything I say about them will build upon this. That may seem contradictory, since this part is mostly devoted to showing that magi are far more than just evil sods, but believe it or not Kayneth is going to be mightily relevant to how pitifully weak magi in truth are, and Tokiomi is going to be relevant to how magi value their children in ways that don’t have to be inhumane, but can be inhuman. Until next time, all I can ask is to consider that while magi are indeed monsters, monsters really can be quite interesting creatures.

Things in this world were all like that.

It wasn’t limited to magecraft. It wasn’t limited to those beyond humans (monsters). In a world of common sense (the obvious), it was something everyone understood.

If you said that misunderstandings, miscommunications, disagreements, and false understandings are what connected them, then...

“We are misrecognition. Our world itself is misunderstanding. We can experience a multitude of truths, not just one single reality. No matter how wise you are, or how much time you are given, you will never reach something like a single truth. Magi may just be those who continually reject that fact.”

Speaking as if in self-deprecation, my master had pursed his lips at that.

He had finally realized that his words and the objective that all Magi pursued, known as the “Spiral of Origin,” were in contradiction.

Sources: Lord El-Melloi Case Files (TL by TwilightsCall), Kara no Kyoukai (TL on baka-tsuki), Fate/Stay Night (TL Mirror Moon), Clock Tower 2015 (TL by food), Fate/Strange Fake (TL by OtherSideOfSky)

[fitztrevelyan]

Verse: Inquisition

This is a in-depth description of Mistral’s role in the Inquisition and her personal POV on it. 

Iorveth is a character from the witcher series (all rights belong to  Andrzej Sapkowski & CDProjekt) translated into the Dragon Age universe (all rights belong to Bioware and EA).

More under the cut

1 - A hole in the Sky:

Mistral has just fled from Kirkwall. She’s trying to get a Tevinter mercenary company off her tail. While heading toward Orlais, she makes a stop-over in Heaven for supplies. It is only by chance that she eavesdrops on a conversation between a customer and the innkeeper about the conclave and the people who’d be attending; her half-cousins are in the list. Mistral ignores the cheering exchange of the men about the flow of gold that the event has brought into their pockets. She just drops a small coin pouch on the counter, stashes her supplies, and readies herself to leave silencing the emotions that stir in her stomach.

She is crossing the threshold when an explosion makes the sky turn green.

2 - Stuck

The hole in the sky wouldn’t be a problem per se, she could just ignore it and be back on her way... if only the bloody thing wasn’t vomiting demons and a large variety of other shit... 

There’s a group of religious fanatics that are enlisting voluntaries to help the poor sods who survived the explosion here. They speak of riots spreading like wildfire, much like the voices about the explosion to be intentional. Everyone is in shock at the assassination of the Divine. This is exactly the kind of hot mess where the Tevinter guys would never go looking for her... Interesting.

3 a- The Herald 

Masses are fickle. Opinions have the lifespan of a fly. Today you are accused to be a murderer? tomorrow they may just well call you a hero. Masses are nasty, nasty beasts, unpredictable; they need to box people in stereotypes to feel safe: mages, Qunari, Dwarves, Elves. Ah! Those little labels! They are just so reassuring when things turn sour...

And now the crowds have just anointed one of those freaks ODDITIES “the Herald of Andraste”. Mistral’s enjoying this madness more than she anticipated, watching the spectacle from her corner. Adan’s grumpy remarks on the events are a breath of fresh air and the guy knows his stuff about explosives. Until he’s around, stirring potions for the wounded and gathering herbs won’t be too bad. 

3 b - Saint Trevelyan of Ostwick

This is unexpected and potentially disastrous. Her cousin has been anointed by the crowds a savior and champion of Andraste. She’d laugh if the situation wasn’t so grotesque. She has no interest in reconnecting with the Trevelyan but at the moment she has no other option than to stay, trying to blend into the crowd. Working with the apothecary might be low-profile enough. She also might want to use her Rivaini name, for the time being, unless the spymaster manages to uncover her past. That damn girl knows her shit. 

4 - An unexpected turn of events

This is still a WIP. Adjustments are to be expected.

( I’ve been discussing this point with a friend who’s given me interesting prompts on the matter, so thank you mate for your valuable insights! The organization of Fen’Harel’s spy network is definitely based on your hc’s so thank you twice.)

It’s official, we’re in politics. The Inquisition has a fortress, an army, a good share of followers (more like devoted), and a spy network. A bloody good one too. Mistral has drawn the spymaster’s attention. She assumes that working for Leliana will allow her to control what information about her origins will fall into the former bard’s hands.  A gross miscalculation. It took quite some time, yes, and hard work too but in the end, Sister Nightingale managed to find out about Mistral’s connection to the Trevelyan family.

That poses three major problems: 

1- her cousin might expect her to be in their service much like grandfather did because back in Ostwick, that’s the way of things if you are a bastard. And Mistral isn’t into this option at all. 

2- The Trevelyan might feel threatened by the bastard daughter of Gallant; even more so because his wife, Lady Pandora Anaxas of Nevarra, has never stopped looking for the girl. If the wife of the rightful heir decided to adopt the girl, she would have a claim to the title of head of the house. That would mean only one thing: soon enough, the Crows of Antiva would be signing a ridiculously rich contract on her life. Not a risk she’s willing to take

3- Problem 1 and 2 aren’t mutually exclusive.

Everything points to an inevitable ending. Mistral wants to go back on her way but unexpectedly someone reappears from her past. 

Iorveth her friend, partner, and occasional lover has joined Leliana’s network. But there is more.  In time, the elf tells Mistral that, in fact, he is working for a broader plan involving the wellbeing of the elves and a shift in power. Mistral warns Iorveth he's walking a dangerous line: Leliana is extremely good at her job, not even she managed to throw her off the scent. Iorveth insists that the organization he's working for is vast, well networked, and secure. Different units with different tasks and different leaders; each leader reports to the higher ranks. The members of a unit don't know those of other units.

That's a lot to take on trust, the woman concedes, but Iorveth is determined in his argumentation. This is not some random raid against slavers ships like those they did when they worked together in Kirkwall. This is an actual chance for his people to take control over their own destiny.

When Mistral asks him why he's telling her all this, Iorveth, who's always been in love with her, reveals that he means to recruit her as a counterspy for his organization, but Mistral turns him down. Too many risks, and too blurry the ultimate end. Iorveth tells her secrecy is a necessary requirement but he can vouch for the nobility of the purpose.

Iorveth was always an idealist. She likes that about him as much as she is disillusioned about power, politics, and machinations. No revolution is fair unless your job is writing history books for those who have won the war.

They part in good terms. Mistral leaves Skyhold at night. She hasn't gone far when three Crows ambush her and try to kill the woman. Blackthorn is seriously wounded to defend her human sister. They would have died hadn't it been for Iorveth and his bow. Mistral is injured but safe; Blackthorn, on the other hand, needs urgent tending to her wounds. The only solution is to go back to Skyhold. In the process, Iorveth risks being uncovered as he carries stolen documents that he was supposed to deliver to his elven superior. Mistral manages to distract her fellow agents and puts the documents back in place (not without taking a peek).

Now she's the only one knowing the content of those papers. Her first job as an (unwilling) agent of Fen'Harel. The first but not the last.

Although the woman refuses repeatedly to enter the counterintelligence with Iorveth, she'll find herself time and again involved in the Dread Wolf's plans... 

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Capt. Syverson-Chapter Two: Therapeutic Procedure

Pairing: Captain “Sy” Syverson x OFC (Shane Benton)

Summary: Shane and Sy share some moments during their treatment sessions…and a phone call that could set the tone for the next few weeks.

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: None, yet… ;)

Author’s Note: Sorry, I was so eager and excited to post the first chapter of this last night, I totally put some inaccurate info in my description notes. I will correct that in the original post and  try to do better henceforth! Hope you enjoy Sy and Shane totally flirting some more and getting more friendly in this chapter. Feedback is appreciated! Even constructive criticism! :D

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism. 

Tags: @onlyhenrys @cavillryarchive @summersong69 @titty-teetee

Let me know if you wish to be added to the list! I’m happy to do it!

Shane woke up that morning with knots in her stomach. She dropped every product she picked up in the shower, she was shaking so much. She accidentally ordered the wrong coffee on her way to work and was now drinking something much less caffeinated and far too sweet for her taste. The barista had informed her it was a grande caramel macchiato with an extra pump of vanilla and extra caramel drizzle…with only two shots of espresso…she couldn't begin to describe how wrong that drink was for her. But it was better than nothing, she told herself, not fully convincingly.

She had chosen her clothes with extra care, even though, with the dress code, her options were limited. And she had made sure to put on a bit of mascara and just a touch of perfume, even though they weren't strictly supposed to wear it…she didn't know why she was bothering.

Well, actually, she did know why. She had been checking her schedule extra diligently lately to make sure she didn't look like a hobo when Sy was coming in. He'd been coming for three weeks now, and after the initial bellyaching about Jordan not being as pretty as her…her heart!...and his feeling extra sore after his visits with him, they were on a roll and had a great chemistry together as far as their treatments went…she tried not to think about…beyond the world of therapy.

She thought back to their first session after she got back from her trip. And the conversation they had.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I think the next time you can't see me, I'm just going to cancel." he had sulked as he wiggled his mass of muscle onto the mat.

"Sy, no. you need therapy. Don't be like that to Jordan. He's an excellent therapist."

"He ain't you though." he smirked, sending her heart racing with that smile that somehow managed to look both boyish and rakish under his full, dark beard. Fucking hell. He needed to stop.

"Well, we can't fault him for that, can we? Lay back, Mister." She demanded. Done with the niceties of the evaluation and onto the treatments where she was in charge. The boss.

"Yes, sir!" she laughed at his clear avoidance of calling her ma'am.

"So where'd you go last week? Vacation or stay-cation?" he asked, the term "stay-cation" sounding downright comical coming out of his country-boy mouth.

"I went to the beach. Gulf Shores."

"I thought you looked like you got some sun."

"Yeah," she pretended his noticing the detail of her awesome tan did not send her reeling. "My folks rented a condo right on the water for my siblings and I to come and stay with them. They're still there. It was tough to leave all that beauty." the beach, pretty much any beach, was her favorite place to be.

"I bet…" he looked at her, something dreamy in his eyes, but he looked away before she could process it. "I thought I had my fill of sand and sun when I was over in Iraq. But you make it sound…like paradise." he smiled softly up at her as she worked on his knee, trying to break apart some of the scar tissue from the injuries and surgeries he'd had…and focus on that, and not the warmth rising in her.

"That's the perfect way to describe any place on the Gulf of Mexico. I doubt it's anything like Iraq, since there's so much water around. It's my favorite vacation destination. Well, apart from London."

"Them British folks always seem so stuck up. Don't know if I'd get along with any of 'em."

"It felt like a second home for me. Everyone was very kind and polite, for the most part. At least it was no worse than it is here."

"Maybe it's just because you're so nice."

"Wait 'til about week eight or ten of your protocol. You won't think I'm nice then. You'll be cussing me out and ready to ring my neck."

"Promise?" he asked, a dark grin on his lips and in his eyes…she faltered for a moment, gulping.

"Cut it out, Syverson." she rolled her eyes, covering…without great effect the way he made her feel.

"Yes...ma'am." he smirked with satisfaction.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now, today, she'd be treating him again, fairly early in the day, and she had to prepare herself. She'd checked the policy, and although there wasn't anything strictly against dating a patient, it was clearly a conflict of interest, and would be frowned upon by her frigid tyrant of a boss. Best to let things remain platonic for now.

Her 9:30 was a no show, so she finished up some notes and was working on some continuing education credits when messenger popped up around 10:00.

Sergeant Sexypants is here. He's quite early and he knows it…*smirk emoji* he must like you, Shane!

Heather, come on, be respectful…he was discharged at the rank of Captain! *rofl emoji* and I think you might be right about him liking me…*nervous emoji*

Oooooooooh!!! You guys are gonna *couple kissing emoji* *eggplant emoji* *okay emoji* *explosion emoji* *baby emoji*

Omg…*three facepalm emojis* I am going to go ahead and start him early since my 9:30 was a NCNS.

Don't finish him too early. Make it last. *smirk emoji*

Jeez. She closed the chat and went to grab him from the waiting area.

"Hey Sy, you ready?"

"You bet, sunshine!" he flashed her a crooked smile. He was calling her sunshine now…ad that to the list of things she'd have to pretend didn't make her swoon.

"Great. Let's start on the bike. How's the knee feeling today?"

"Oh, it's…about the same. Stiff. Lil' sore."

"Well, it's a slow process, like I told you at your eval. You've got a lot going on in there."

"I know…just…it hasn't taken me four weeks to do anything in my life." he sulked. "So…thinking about this taking…twelve or more…" he grimaced as he sat down on the bike, and adjusted it for his longer than average legs, putting his feet in the pedal stirrups.

"You may not see it, Sy, because you're so close to it, but trust me, you're making progress. I can tell you're doing your exercises at home, and you're always willing to put in the work here. You have no idea how much that sets you apart from…some of these other people." she leaned in closer and spoke the last part more quietly to him. It was true. So many of her patients were either lazy or just in it to appease their MDs into writing them scripts for pain meds. That wasn't Sy.

"You really think so?" he gave her the side eye with his baby blues, crushing her with the color like the waves of the ocean she'd just returned from.

"In fact, I know so." she placed a reassuring hand on his broad and thick shoulder. She felt the tension between them hum, like electric current.

"Now, level one, and a steady pace. You're not trying to win any medals here. I'll take those crutches."

"When ya think I can 86 'em damn things?" he griped as he handed over the assistive devices.

"Well, you see Potter again tomorrow? I'll write an update today and send it to him. If he likes what he reads, or more likely pretends to read, regarding your progress, he may discharge them. Do you feel like you can be good to the knee and treat it nice without using crutches? I don't want you to regress and re-injure yourself. That's not gonna get you into your running shoes any sooner."

"I'll be nice. Real gentle." he winked at her…he wasn't just talking about the knee. And she knew it. But again, she pretended she didn't, ignoring once more those butterflies threatening to choke her they were multiplying so fast in her belly.

"Okay, I'll put that in my note. Patient compliant with instructions to be nice." she laughed.

They talked as they biked, Shane sat on the one next to him and pedaled along with him for something to do other than be idle. She thought it made him feel better as well. Like he wasn't doing it alone. They covered the subject of her siblings, an older brother in IT and a younger sister who was an MA, and his German Shepherd, Aika, which he was allowed to bring home from Iraq after they were both honorably discharged. Music, both of them completely in agreeance about the superiority of classic rock.

"I noticed you've worn a Lynyrd Skynyrd shirt a few times and meant to say something before now."

"Yeah, they're one of my favorites. But there are a few newer groups that I like a lot, too. Kings of Leon got me through some tough times, honestly."

"Oh, they're great! I love their sound. And their lyrics…poetry."

"No shit. Sorry." she shook her head and raised up her hands to indicate that he didn't need to apologize to her for swearing. She'd been known to make sailors blush when she was off the clock. "Only by the Night…that whole album is…it's just in my blood, ya know? Ya ever have an album do that?"

"I have. Whole artists catalogs, actually."

"Which artist?" he prodded.

"The Beatles. Pretty much every song. Like you said, it just, like, I dunno, it's almost deeper than the veins. It's in the marrow. My soul." she stared off out the windows ahead of them, thinking about her favorite band in the world and how magical it was to experience Sir Paul McCartney playing some of her favorites live…twice…and the timer on the bike went off, pulling her from her daydream.

She looked over at him, startled by both the noise, and the dreamy look in his eyes that was becoming all too familiar.

"Sorry." she stood, grabbing his crutches for him and handing them back to him from where she had leaned them as they rode.

"Hey, don't be sorry for…ahem…for loving what you love. We should all…hold on to the things that make us feel like that." she nodded.

"Thanks…I don't think a lot of people…understand the way I…my tendency to take things like music, movies, and shows…books…so deeply to my heart." they walked to the treatment room from the gym, taking their time, since they had it. A rare occurrence for Shane, always needing to capitalize on every spare minute. To make productivity a priority.

"I think…that…well, seeing a pretty grim side of the world like I have…seems like there's enough darkness and bullshit making everyone miserable. If we find something…or…someone…that brings us some happiness or even just makes that misery bearable…we oughta hang onto 'em real tight. Cherish it like gold." the silence in the small room was loud with that electrical hum of their tension again. He'd said all the right things, as he always seemed to, but under the absolute wrong circumstances. She just nodded.

"They teach you philosophy in Basic?" she giggled. He laughed back in response.

"Oh, no, Basic was way easier than…whatever goes on inside of us."

"Speaking of which," she segued deftly, "lay back, and let my try to get some range out of that knee before I take new measurements for this update I'm gonna write."

"Yes, ma'am!" he chuckled.

"You get some sick thrill out of calling me that, don't you?" she scowled playfully at him.

"Oh, you have no idea…ma'am." he winked at her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, Shane was wondering how Sy's appointment went as she ate her soup at lunch and caught up on her morning notes. She got a ping on messenger.

You have a gentleman caller…*eggplant emoji*  hehe, he's on line three.

Geez…thanks Heather.

No need to ask for a name. She knew Heather meant Sy.

She picked up the phone at her desk in the treatment room.

"Hey Sy! How'd the appointment go?"

"Hey, sunshine…eh…he said I'm doin' good, but he wants me to stay on crutches another two weeks." she could hear grave disappointment in his voice. She felt for him.

"Aww, I'm sorry Sy. I know you wanted off those. And I know they're a pain. Literally and figuratively."

"Why wouldn't he want me off 'em?" he was so frustrated. He must have just left the office.

"Did you ask him that question?"

"You know doctors, Shane. Not like I would have got an answer in plain English. Figured you'd know."

"Well, I haven't seen your post-visit report, but it's my presumption that he wants to play it safe. You know he spent most of his day in the operating room with you, right? An eight hour surgery, you had. He probably doesn't want to undo all that by d/c'ing the crutches too soon."

"I was gonna be careful though, Shane!" he was worked up properly, and she could hear it over the roar of his pickup in the background.

"I know you were, Sy. I'm sure you were going to take all kinds of precautions. But what if you're walking into your kitchen, during a storm, and there's a loud clap of thunder, and Aika gets startled and busts past you? What if you're feeling good one day, and forget about it, and jog to catch up to someone holding the door open for you and miss a stick or something under foot? You can't prepare yourself for every pebble or patch of mud in your path, Sy. Accidents will happen. Some circumstances are beyond our control…we just have to do the best we can. The crutches are going to help you until we get you stronger. That's what we'll focus on until those two weeks are up."

"Why is it you can calm me down like this?" he asked, sincere and truly calmer than he had been.

"I'm just a good therapist, is all."

"Ya don't think that's really all, do ya?" the sound of his deep drawl in her ear from the receiver made her shiver. He was implying something that she just couldn't entertain. It wasn't possible for them right now. Maybe…down the road…in a few weeks…

"I'll see ya tomorrow, Sy. Come ready to work that knee."

"You didn't say no…" he was too hopeful. Damn it, he was cute when he was hopeful. She was glad she couldn't see his face light up like she knew it was doing.

"You may have noted I didn't say yes, either."

"Yet. See ya in the mornin', sunshine."

"Bye, Sy."

She put the receiver in the cradle and her face in her hands.

"Shit."

She had a feeling this particular patient was about to become much more complicated.

Up Next: Chapter Three-Therapeutic Activity

[ask-de-writer]

DARING DO and the ADVENTURE of the X'IBIAN VASE! : MLP Fan Fiction : Part 8 of 21

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DARING DO and the

ADVENTURE of the X'IBIAN VASE!

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck) @ask-de-writer��

And

Carmen Pondiego @askcarmenpondiego​

Cover Art by

Doctor Dimension

52630 words

© 2020 by Glen Ten-Eyck

Writing begun 08/26/15

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

//////////////

Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may reblog the story.  They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions, provided that such things are done without charge.  I will allow those who do commission art works to charge for their images.  

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fictions is actively encouraged.

///////////////////////

Jeremy was fuming when he was let out of the hold.  He stomped to the rail and pointed to modest sized twin turret iron clad ship, clearly made for river work.  It was fairly broad and shallow of draft.  It was flying the Imperial flag and had a blue pennon below it.

“Look there!  The Imperial Navy is about to take down this cheap collection junks that you call the Pirate Queen!”

Soree tapped his shoulder and pointed to the blue pennon.  “That is the pennon of Qushi Han Le. It is one of her River Monitors.  It has been assigned to escort us to Cantrot.”

Jeremy stopped cold, like he had run headfirst into a solid brick wall.  “How could that happen? That is the Imperial Naval ensign.”

Soree chuckled.  “Qushi Han Le OWNS the entire Imperial Navy.  How could you have missed reading about it in our expedition information on cultures, customs and lands that we will need to deal with along the route?”

“What!  That is insane!  How could some pirate own the navy?”

Soree gave Jeremy a deeply troubled gaze.  “It is in the material that you were given for the expedition.  You did not read it or you could not ask that.

“I must let Doctor Do know at once.  You have nearly got us killed at least twice since we arrived. In the Empire, NEVER assume that because somepony is polite or seems harmless that you can insult them or push them around verbally.  That can get you killed on the spot.  They put a very high premium on courtesy.”

“What?  Was she carrying a gun or something?”

“No, Jeremy.  She had seven snipers with modern rifles aimed at us.  She only needed to signal and we would have been shot down.”

Jeremy shook his head.  “Makes no sense.  We are from EQUESTRIA.  They HAVE to treat us with respect.  Even you, in spite of being from an inferior …”

He was talking to empty air. The sound of her hooves clattering on the companionway steps was all that was left.  He realized that he was not totally alone.  Daring Do was sitting on a line tub next to the Sea Sage’s main mast, watching.

Soree emerged carrying two talwars, swords ornately made and curved, though not as much as most scimitars.  The tips were widened out to nearly twice the width of the rest of the blade and came to a wicked point.  These weapons were, in spite of the rich ornamentation, businesslike blades made for both slashing and point work.

Soree held them out, hilts first.  “Choose the weapon.  I am challenging you to a duel.  I have had enough of your superiority and insults.  

“These swords are practice spelled.  They will not cut or bruise living flesh nor break any bone. They WILL hurt severely if edge or point touches living flesh.

“Choose!”

Jeremy sneered, “I don’t have to …”

Daring Do cut across his words with, “Yes, Jeremy.  You do.  When you insult members of the expedition you put the whole enterprise at risk.  I will not allow it.  That is in the expedition profile that you were given.

“Fight Soree now or spend the rest of the time until we return waiting for us in one of Qushi Han Le’s prison cells.”

Jeremy tried to divert the demand by snorting, “I hear that bribes go a long way around here! You bribed that ignorant pirate with a cheap imitation tea set!”

Daring Do’s face froze. “Jeremy.  Retract that at once.

“Qushi Han Le holds TWO advanced degrees from the Royal University of Equestria.  One is in Antiquities which she studied under me.  She was a better student than you!

“Her other degree is in naval architecture, weapons and strategy.

“Both were granted Summa Cum Laude.  She speaks and writes six languages fluently.

“The tea set is genuine and part of the things recovered during the Darkling Expedition.  It was a promised gift in return for her freely given assistance on that expedition.”

“So what?  A bribe is a bribe!”

Daring Do’s backhoofed slap across his face nearly took him from his feet.  “Soree is not the only one you will fight!  I challenge you too!  You have just called me a liar.  I gave my FRIEND AND FORMER STUDENT a gift from PRINCESS LUNA and myself for ASSISTANCE ALREADY GIVEN!”

Turning to Soree, Daring Do offered, “The many insults to you and your culture have precedence. Your duel shall be first.”

Soree grimly held out the swords again, hilt first.  “If you refuse to choose, I have the choice. If you refuse to fight, you go to the jail cell, as Doctor Do has ordered.”

Jeremy reached and made a fast grab and swing, striking at Soree without warning.  Her block was so fast that his weapon did not even get close.

Her words cut to the bone.  “I expected that sort of cowardice from one so low as yourself.  I was not disappointed.”

Instead of striking back, she stepped back, weapon at guard.

Jeremy slowly realized that she was waiting for him to strike again.  He paused and then made an actual pass of arms, striking high to allow the rebound from her block to add speed and power to a low line cut.  It was stopped cold. She had let her weapon drive back some, taking the energy from his attack.

Her riposte slithered up along his blade toward his chest.

A blinding pain dropped him to his knees, sword falling to the deck.

He got up slowly, panting as the pain receded.  Daring Do had recovered the sword.  Soree hoofed over hers.

In a few moments the pain was only a memory.  It was intended to teach, not disable.  He faced a grim Daring Do, holding out the weapons hilt first.

He was far more cautious this time.  Taking the sword, he backed off.  Daring Do nodded to herself as she hefted the blade that she had.  She swept it through several practice cuts and made a trial lunge.

Jeremy made a sweeping cut attack while Daring Do was extended from her lunge.  Her block deflected his sword, letting it swing on past her.  Her own stroke paralleled his now out of control cut.  The blinding pain in his shoulder forced him to drop his sword again!

Daring Do picked it up and suggested, “Go below and READ.  Read the expedition materials that you were given.  Read the the Daring Do and the Adventure of the Darkling’s Tomb.

“It is a popularization, true. It is also totally accurate.  Everything in it happened just as told.  Much of the customs that we will be running into, and the consequences of breaking them are explained in it.”

He stared at her incredulously. “Those things really did happen like that?”

“Yes, Jeremy, they did.”

It was a chastened Jeremy who went below.  As he was descending the companionway, he heard, “These are lovely weapons, Soree!  I never used a talwar before!  Can we work out together?”

That was followed almost immediately by the swift clashing of steel on steel!  

It was completely dark outside of his stateroom when he heard Soree and Daring Do saunter past. “That was a wonderful workout, Doctor Do!  I have not had a real challenge in simply ages!  You scored on me three times already! That is amazing for learning the Talwar!”

“It was great, Soree!  I love that safety spell on the blades!  It is far superior to the one I use at the Adventurer’s Guild!  It really pushes me to learn about how that extra tip weight works!  I would have said blade heavy before I found out how to use it!”

A closing stateroom door cut off the conversation.

It was not long before there was a knock at his door.  Expecting Soree or Daring Do, Jeremy opened it.

Dressed in black from head to hooves was the golden mare, Qushi Han Le.  Trembling, he backed up a step.  She entered so silently that she might as well have been a ghost.

She signed for silence and suggested softly, “Sit.  We need to talk privately.  For her own reasons, Doctor Do values you or you would not be here.  It is out of respect to her that I wish you to live.  That is what this conversation is about.”

Jeremy realized that his door, which always creaked, had shut silently.  He sat.

So did Qushi Han Le.  “We must talk of two things or you will die in this land.  The first is of bribes.  The second is of courtesy.

“So, first.  Bribes.  I know that you have a low opinion of bribes where you come from.  I have lived years in Equestria, studying at your Great Universities.

“Therefore I must ask you, what is a bribe for and what purpose does it serve?”

Jeremy was deeply puzzled by the question.  He shook his head, “As far as I know, a bribe is to make the one who demands it richer for doing something that he or she was supposed to do in the first place.”

Sadly, Qushi Han Le replied, “That way of thought will get you killed here.  In your land, you are totally correct.  Here you could not be more wrong if you tried. Let me give you an example.

“Here, beggars are licensed. The license fee is small and in exigency may be paid later, after the beggar has earned enough copper cash to pay it.  Along with the fee he may pay the tribunal a bribe of some few coppers and receive for his bribe greater consideration from the Justice than a wealthy merchant seeking a license for trade and paying a whole string of silver cash.  Do you know why?”

Jeremy shook his head.  “I don’t understand that at all.  Why would the beggar get more for so much less?”

Qushi Han Le smiled at him. “The admission of ignorance is the first step on the path of wisdom.”

She paused while footfalls passed in the corridor outside.  “The bribe is a recognition of the importance of the person bribed.  It has no thing to do with the amount at all.  Thus, the wealthy merchant may be offering a trivial amount with his large bribe while the beggar may be offering all that he has.

“Our fees and taxes are low and are always paid to the purpose intended by our Magistrates, Justices and others.  They will NEVER demand a bribe nor set the amount.  It is our custom to make them the offer which shows them proper respect.  That bribe is for them and them alone.

“Do you grasp this principle?”

Jeremy thought deeply before nodding.  “I believe so.  This sort of sets my world on edge, if you follow.  I will need to study the idea for a while before I am comfortable with it.”

“You have taken the second step on the path of wisdom.

“Now we must discuss courtesy. You lack it greatly.  That lack can be fatal here.  First, the bow and second, restraint of speech.

“I know that you have seen our people bowing to each other.  I know that you have made fun of it or dismissed it.  Your Soree put her hoof squarely on it.  We place a very high premium upon courtesy.  The bow is the first and very important part of that courtesy.

“There are three grades of bow.  Those who are of higher station may bow by a mere inclination of the head.  Equals bow some from the waist.  Those of low station bow deeply from the waist.

“Your first bow to a stranger whose station you do not know or are unsure of should be the bow of equals.  Their return bow will set their station.  Thereafter you will bow to them accordingly.  Few will falsely bow a higher station than they properly have.  They die quickly.  Do you understand?”

Jeremy thought carefully and Qushi Han Le let him.  

“Um, I think so.  Do you need to keep bowing every time that you have something to say?”

“Once precedence is established, you may, if you are equals use the bob of high station between you FOR THAT CONVERSATION.  Use a slightly deeper one than a head bob if the one you speak to is higher.

“These rules make our society run more smoothly.”

Jeremy sat among his papers and the open book, staring at it with new eyes.

“Now, Jeremy, we come to restraint of your tongue.  I have heard some of what you called me. I had to restrain my sharpshooters three times from killing you on the deck of this ship.  They were deeply offended by your words about me and my culture.”

Jeremy paused and then tried a deep bow, saying, “I thank you for giving this unworthy one the chance to live and learn.  I will likely find this the hardest of the lessons of this land.”

Thinking very deeply, Jeremy offered, “If you will deign to accept it, I have something for you.”

He rummaged in his luggage and removed a small, carefully wrapped object.  He handed it over to the Pirate Queen.  Delicately she unwrapped it.  Her breath drew in admiringly.

Examining it minutely, she finally said, “How did you get so perfect a copy of this figurine from the Darkling Collection?  Ordinary museum and study copies are never this well done.”

Jeremy nodded.  “I know.  This is my talent.  I can take almost any ancient thing and make a copy of it so good that if I do not mark it, it can be taken for an original. I can often, but not always, fill in missing parts.  This is one of five that Doctor Do had me reproduce back at the Royal University.

“She wanted them for surface studies and then returned them to me.”

Bowing to Jeremy the bow of an equal, Qushi Han Le wrapped the figurine and left as silently as she came.

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[the-ship-maker-2]

The Shadow Queen (book 1)

This is the first book in my series that I'm writing. Its entirely original and all of these characters are mine.

Rated:M for mature. There's some strong language in here so if you're sensitive please don't read it.

Warning(s): character death and violence. If you're sensitive please do not read and I'm not saying who it is.

Summary: Two demon princes from the underworld of Hell go up to the forbidden land of the living (Earth) on a loose trail of a prophecy that could potentially change Hell for better or for worse. What happens when they find the main part of the prophecy? A human infant no more than six months old baring the gift of The Sight. A rare gift that is naturally born with. Could this be what they're looking for?

------------------------------------

Prologue

"Are you sure about this?", asked the demon prince, Kael as he eyed the baby in its crib in a mixture of distrust and disgust with his golden brown eyes.

He didn't like humans as it was especially live ones and especially tiny ones. There was just something about tiny humans that made him automatically distrust them. They were always planning something. Also humans dead or alive were always useless and primitive, far less superior then he and his friend was.

"I'm positive I wouldn't have pulled so many strings just to drag you up here for nothing", said his friend Jorggon,"this is the one Satan himself said that this was the one" he picked up the infant that was already squirming in its crib.

"Right but are you sure we can trust him? I mean he could be wrong. We could be wrong. I mean we came all the way up to Earth for that?", Kael gestured to the baby in Jorggon's arms.

"I have no reason to believe that he would misinform us. I mean what reason would he have to lie to us? You just don't like the fact that she's not all grown up so she can take care of what she needs to take care of now. You were always so impatient", said Jorggon as he stuck his tongue out at him and went back to smiling at the baby.

Kael sighed and crossed his arms and looked away. They have always been complete opposites. He has always been a warrior type. Which explains his muscular well toned body structure. Rough and tumble style, fight or die attitude. Jorggon was more of an intellectual type with a lean body. Jorggon's pale skin made him look like a ghost in the infant's dark room. Even in his shadowy mist form he was easy to pick out. Whereas Kael had a dark tan complexion. It made him even harder to pick out in the pitch black room. And in his shadowy mist form; everyone will be none the wiser.

He took a moment to really take in the room around him. The room was pitch black. You could only make out a shape that was most likely a dresser. The walls were bare white and the crib was made out of oak wood with a mattress in it and on the side of the wall that the crib was pushed up against had what he assumed to be the baby's name hung up. The floor was made of unfurnished creaky wood that was gray and black from the dirt and the old age of the house that they were in.

The room was plain and bare. Most likely the infant's family didn't have much to work with. They were poor.

"We're just lucky that the princess is only an infant for now like that thing over there and who the hell names their child Talura?", Kael pointed to the name hanging up on the wall.

"Apparently her parents", said Jorggon,"pay no mind to him Tal". He nuzzled the baby.

"You're giving it nicknames now?!", he exclaimed exasperated and in disbelief.

The baby giggled and looked up at Jorggon into his pale blue eyes with her unnaturally wide blue-green eyes. Taking in all his features.

"This is definitely the one", confirmed Jorggon.

"How do you know?", asked Kael unsurely.

He handed baby Talura over to Kael as she had a fistful of his curly blonde locks. Kael retreated further into himself practically hissing.

"I'm not holding that thing!", he refused.

"Stop shouting you'll wake up her parents! Wait where are they anyways? Normally parents run into their children's bedrooms if they hear their children in the night" Jorggon whispered hissed.

"They're either heavy sleepers or very neglectful", huffed Kael,"besides we can easily cloak ourselves in our shadow form and no one will be able to hear us. We can do that you know"

"Stop being a little bitch and hold Tal and look at her eyes", said Jorggon getting annoyed holding the baby out for Kael to take.

Kael sighed and reluctantly took the child. He held her out away from him and inspected it suspiciously.

"What's so special about this thing? She seems relatively healthy. There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with her. There's no way that she could possibly be- oh my dear sweet darkness", he realized in thought.

Those eyes. Those eyes. Those eyes.

He couldn't look away even if he wanted to. His golden brown eyes met her blue green ones. But they were so unnaturally wide. She was definitely going to get bullied for that as she grows up. But he was sure that she could deal with it when the time came. Her eyes were like windows to the soul and right now she was still so very still. She looked at him with her mouth slightly agape. He sucked in his breath not daring to make a sound or move. Then she suddenly broke into a smile and a fit of giggles. She reached her hands out trying to grab his slicked back dark chocolate brown hair.

"Ah ah I ain't falling for that one", he told her as he held her out as far away from him as possible. "Here take her back and put her in her crib please".

"Do you believe me now?" He took her back and gently laid her back down.

Kael nodded, "she's gifted, she has The Sight. Not many people are born with that. Normally they either get it by sacrifice or after death. She is The Sight part of the prophecy"

"You know we're both going to have to train her how to use The Sight", said Jorggon as he looked back at him.

"I know but you know I can't do much", said Kael softly as he looked down.

"Then do what you can when you can", said Jorggon as he ran his hand over baby Talura's head and to her temples and whispered a spell to make her sleep.

Baby Talura yawned and her eyes were beginning to get droopy. Satisfied with his work he turned to Kael.

"We should get back before you get into trouble".

He turned into a mass of shadowy mist and went through the wall. He popped back out.

"You coming?", he prodded.

Kael nodded.

"Yeah in just a few minutes"

He shrugged his shoulders "okay just don't stay too long".

And with that he disappeared into the wall. That just leaves Kael alone.

He walked over to baby Talura's crib quietly, careful not to disturb her. He looked down at her sleeping figure. Her head leaning to the right and her arms up, her chest slowly rising and falling as she's taking rhythmic shallow breaths.

He took a deep breath.

He looked down at her with pity. She was destined to be a coward. With that she wouldn't be able to survive in either Earth or Hell. It was unlikely that she would have many friends or a good family to support her.

He couldn't do much as his time was running out and he was unfortunately limited in his powers. But there was one thing that he could do although it was very risky for both him and her. If his Queen found out anything about her being part of the prophecy she would destroy her in no time. He didn't mind the punishment for himself he's willing to make that sacrifice.

But he believes in fair punishment people should get punished for their own stupidity not someone else's. He just doesn't think he can live with himself knowing that he helped ensure killing an innocent's life before it even began.

But if he wanted a hell's chance in even remotely having the prophecy come true he was going to have to risk it.

Yes he was being selfish. And he knew that but he quickly justified it with what he'll do is for her own good and he can leave with a semi clear conscious.

He looked back and forth to make sure no one was watching.

"Alright little one I'm going to do something that will only hurt for a moment but it will be for your own good and one day you'll thank me", he whispered cooed to baby Talura.

She shifted in her sleep as Kael took her tiny hand. With his other hand he took his sharp nail and poked his hand and her hand to draw blood. She began to cry.

He sucked in his breath as he felt a twang of pain in his heart as he heard her cry. For a moment he almost knew what it felt like to be a parent.

"I know, I know little one but the pain will subside soon", he whispered as he was trying to reassure the crying child.

He pushed away any feelings of guilt and pain and he got down to business. He put his bleeding hand into hers.

"I hear by swear on everything that I am and everything that I was that I give you the gift of Intuition. This will help you see what's really there and to help you make decisions based on what you think is right. I believe that I'm doing this with benevolent intent and this promise-gift is now bonded by blood and it can never be broken as a blood promise", he whispered,"And you always keep your promises"

He used his magic to heal them both and ran his hand over her head and whispered the same spell Jorggon used to make her fall asleep the first time.

By a few minutes later she was fast asleep again.

He sighed in relief but then he was overcome with worry.

"Although I gave her a gift, whether she uses it or not is on her. It could be potentially useless. And it's not an exact science. She'll need to practice and hone that just like The Sight. She's going to be wrong most of the time and not to mention people that will cut her down and try to break her….", he was letting his thoughts ramble.

He took a deep breath and shook his head to clear it. He realized that he had something that he hasn't had in a long time.

Faith.

He had faith that she'll grow up to be enough of a person and she'll practice and hone her gifts. Despite what anyone says or does. He chuckled to himself. He had quite the feeling that she'll be someone who makes their own way regardless.

Satisfied with what he did and his worried thoughts put to rest for now he really needed to get back before his Queen suspects anything. He changed into a mass of shadowy mist and went through the wall to get back. He popped back out to take one last look at the sleeping child.

He went back alone with his thoughts. He hoped that he put his faith in the right place. He hoped that he was right in what he did and thought.

And right now that's all he really can do.

Hope.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

4 Years Later

It's been four years since that fateful night. Talura was a small petite child with a head full of short wavy hair that couldn't decide whether it wanted to be brown or red. She still had those unnaturally wide eyes that fluctuate from blue-green to blue-gray or to sometimes a mossy green. They framed her face in such an awkward way but when she grew into them there's no doubt that she'll be considered some form of attractive. She had fair tan skin from playing out in the sun all day. She was small for her age due to slight malnourishment but that didn't stop her from anything. She was a big ball of contradictions. She was timid yet very excitable. Bold and daring yet wary and cautious. She was a whirlpool of emotions. Jorggon thought that it was charming that she was, to put it nicely, unpredictable.

Kael on the other hand found it quite annoying. He couldn't pinpoint a pattern with her. Yet another reason why he wasn't fond of children. They were always changing and springing surprises on adults. He didn't like their unpredictableness. She was an open book but he didn't know how to read her. The one thing he could see blatantly was her emotions. He sincerely hoped that she'll grow out of that as he firmly believes that no one has the luxury to be vulnerable with their emotions in any world.

But what they could both agree upon was that they were happy that she was practicing and honing The Sight.

Jorggon was more patient than Kael was because Jorggon was there more often than he was. From the ages 1-2 Jorggon got her to take her first steps and got her to form simple, incomplete polite sentences. They taught her that she could not just simply run up to them. It took her awhile to catch on to that concept but eventually she did. She learned to wait patiently and say "come please". It wasn't guaranteed that they'll always show up to teach her that she can't always get what she wants. But most of the time they came to her. Only in their shadow form to make it easier on them. Results varied from her throwing a temper tantrum when it didn't work to her just gracefully accepting it and focusing on something else. By the ages 3-4 she learned to be patient and accept that sometimes The Sight didn't always work to the best of her ability. She started forming simplistic but more complete sentences and talked non stop. Sometimes it was about her day or what was bothering her or what was just on her mind. Although she didn't know anything about them as far as she was concerned they were just shadows that sometimes showed up and she'd talk to them. They would always take the time to listen to her however serious, dull, amusing or confusing as it may be.

Kael didn't show up often as he had other things to take care of. But when he did he was always amazed at how fast she was developing. Whether it was with her gifts or just growing up. He was always secretly proud when she learned a new skill set whether it was mundane or had to do with her actual gifts.

What he was most proud of was that she was always using his gift of Intuition. He didn't think that she fully realized that she was using it but when she gets older she'll realize it more and hopefully use it to its full potential. She was wary and cautious so she didn't get into as much trouble as other kids her age. But make no mistake that she made mistakes so she got into some trouble as that's what children do.

He was relieved that his efforts were not in vain and that was good enough to him.

Kael would never admit this to anyone especially to Jorggon, his closest and oldest friend. But he was sort of getting attached to the child. Like a reluctant big brother. He felt sorry and angry for the child. Her mother was either busy working or sleeping. I mean she always made sure that there was always food Talura could get. Bless her soul her mother was a good person but she wasn't very strong in any way. Her father on the other hand was a brute and a bully. Always beating on her mom or just neglectful towards Talura. He felt sorry for her because one of his predictions came true. She's going to have a tough home life. But hopefully the Intuition will help her stay on the right path. And he feels angry towards her parents because they won't take care of her properly and she doesn't deserve that. He almost decided to say fuck it and just bring her with him and have Jorggon take care of her. Raise her in his royalty status and give her the best life and when the time came they could fulfill the prophecy. But he always decides against it. She needs to stay here to keep her safe. It may not be a good place but it's safer than Hell. And she needs to go through all these hardships because that's just the way it has to be.

However what he has been doing to protect her somewhat is developing and casting a protective cloaking spell made specifically for her very little at a time since he's limited in what he can do. It's not much but at least she can be safe and stay under his Queen's radar until she gets distracted by something else. Just in case shit hits the fan and they can't be there to protect her.

And they both knew it would happen, it was only a matter of time…

It was just like any other night really. Kael was waiting for Jorggon at the portal gates. That's not what they're actually called. But that's what everyone identifies the place as. You just say the portal gates and immediately everyone in Hell knows what you're talking about. But like the gates and landscape the real name has long since faded away.

Don't get me wrong it used to be a beautiful place. Although all of the colors have been drained out of Hell over time. You could once tell that the gates were of gold color with vines and brambles long dead growing in between and up the bars. However, the plants still haven't completely taken over yet as you can still see through some of the bars to see what it was and what it might have been. You could see stone benches scattered throughout that was overcome by shrubs and other plants. The grass was long overdue for a cut. The trees were dead and barren. Nothing has grown on them for a long time. Most likely due to neglect the ground was stripped of its fertility and nutrients that it can no longer support any living life.

Not only was the place at one point in time breathtakingly gorgeous in some angles but it used to be a place of myth and legend. As little boys he and Jorggon used to love hearing stories about the portal gates. Legend has it that the darkness herself came here from another world through that clearing and founded Hell and the ways of the afterlife. It was said that she even taught Satan the high lord of Hell himself everything that she knew when Satan first arrived. But all of that was just myths and legends.

What can be confirmed though is that there used to be a coven of witches and warlocks that used to use this spot for their rituals, celebrations and to practice their craft. The Coven of the Earthen. Or The Earthen Witches to put it simply. It was top secret since no one really knew what they were up to. Only the very elite, rich, gifted, or intelligent could be invited and initiated to join. But no one except the people within the coven knew how to go about that. The original first generation of the coven was made up of five witches and warlocks. One for each of the main gifts that they were naturally born with. Sight which included visions (most prophets have The Sight), and can see right through people and other paranormal things. They are often truth seekers and always have the executive decision. But The Sight is the rarest gift to be naturally born with. Next, we have Hearing. They are very good listeners and make very good spies. They can truly listen to what their mind, body and soul wants hence they are very balanced in their emotions and logic. They also listen to what nature tells them if you listen closely you can hear the whispers of the wind. Next we have Touch. They are more sensual and sensitive of the bunch. With this gift they can often feel the emotions of other people and objects. They can often read people better. Next, we have Taste. Taste is very interesting. People who have this gift have a better sense of fashion and food and like to live the high class life. But they're able to sense if anything has been poisoned. Same thing with people who have the gift of smell. They follow their intuition with their nose. The original coven is made up of the top five witches and warlocks alike. They are the ones who get the executive decisions. Those gifted with Intuition and strength are below the main 5. They were the advisers. The rest were below them respectfully and they were gifted with someone else or highly intelligent. Hell's golden years.

Kael slowly frowned.

But as time went on the ruling powers in all five realms gradually became more and more corrupt and greedy and selfish. It was to the point where it even began to spill in over to the Coven of the Earthen. Instead of staying as as place of peace, prosperity and through hard work and dedication and honor, it became a place of elite greed. Anyone with money and ambition could get in. The coven became a hollow shell of its former self and so has the portal gates.

"But soon all of that would change for better or for worse", said Kael in thought as his thoughts drifted over to Talura.

They haven't checked up on her in a while. He really wasn't sure how much time has passed on Earth. The child had to be no more than five to six years of age by now give or take with how long it's been. But security has been tight around Marbleedge. Turns out Queen Victorienne was getting suspicious of Kael's and Jorgon's disappearances even though it wasn't often or for very long. But today they managed to make time for this visit.

What was beginning to worry him was that Jorggon hasn't shown up yet. It was an hour later. Normally Jorggon was the one who arrived early or they showed up on time together. Something told him that something was very wrong here. There was only one place Jorggon would be since he wasn't allowed to go out much along with Kael. Not being the one to ignore instincts and intuition he ran back to the palace and prayed to the darkness that the worst of the worse didn't happen.

"Sweet darkness not today, I knew that it was only a matter of time, but not today", he prayed in thought over and over again.

He got to the palace and to his spot where he can normally sneak in and out with ease. But the guards beat him to it.

"Halt! Kael Bloodsworth you're under arrest for committing high treason", said one of the guards as two others handled him roughly since Kael wasn't going down without a fight.

But in the end Kael was on the ground face planting the dirt with his arms tied behind his back.

"You have no proof that I committed high treason", mumbled Kael since he was in the dirt.

"I'm sorry what was that?", asked the first guard who ordered his arrest.

The guard on his right pulled his hair to make his head go up.

"I said that you have no proof that I committed high treason", said Kael through gritted teeth as he spit out the dirt.

"Oh but we do~", said a silky predatory voice coming from the shadows of the trees that he knew all too well.

"Queen Victorienne", he spat out,"should have known it was you".

Victorienne came out of the shadows. She was strikingly beautiful. She had milly pale skin with raven black hair with purple streaks in it. She had light brown almond eyes. With plump lips that she used as a sweet poison. She has a nice figure to her that would make any woman dead or alive jealous. She had curves in all the right places. She had breasts that were plump and perky but they weren't so big that they got in the way. Her ass swayed when she walked like she was harmony personified. She had on a silky sparkly black dress with it slit to the side just to tease the people as she walked by with her fair legs.

To Kael she reminded him of a cross between a viper and a black widow.

"And you should have known that you couldn't get past me. You would fail eventually it was only a matter of time", she spoke like she was scolding a child for trying to pull a prank on her.

It made him sick that she was speaking to him in such a manner because he knew the truth of what lays deep inside her nonexistent soul. Nothing but cold anger, hatred and wrath.

"Where's Jorggon?", said Kael fighting against his restraints as he got to the point.

"Oh you'll see", said Victorienne darkly smiling viciously.

She turn to the first guard,"bring him to the throne room!"

She strutted, leading the way with all of them following her.

When the got to the throne room Kael was shoved roughly down to the floor getting a face full of floor and dust. Kael coughed and struggled to at least sit up and he didn't like the sight that he saw.

"Jorggon!", yelled Kael desperately.

Jorggon snapped his head up, "Kael!"

He had his head locked in place in the guillotine with the silver blade hanging high and his hands and feet were tied.

"I'm so sorry Kael! I tried! I tried very hard but I was caught! But I-I still didn't tell her anything!",blubbered on Jorggon as he was crying.

He realised that this was the end for him.

"Shhh...it's okay you did nothing wrong I appreciate your loyalty and effort. May Hell be forever grateful", said Kael as he tried to reassure his best friend.

"He should have been loyal to me! You should have been loyal to me! Everyone should be loyal to me!", hissed Victorienne angrily.

Honestly she acts like a child when she doesn't get what she wants.

"Give me one good reason why I should give you my loyalty to someone who is unfit to rule", said Kael rather nonchalantly.

She moved fast with the speed of a viper and smacked him so hard across the face you could hear a crack. It took him a couple of minutes for him to process what happened and to move his face back to look her in the eyes.

She grabbed his chin to make damn sure he was paying attention.

"Why you should be loyal to me?", she said in disbelief, "why you should be loyal to me?". She said it a second time more loudly and angrier.

She got really close to her face,"When the Great War was over and your mother died and I ascended to the throne. I could have killed you along with her but I decided not to. I saw potential in you. You would make a fine young prince and a deadly weapon! I couldn't just leave you on the streets".

Kael spat in her face,"Don't pretend you took me in out of the kindness of your heart when you don't have one. You killed my mother just for the chance to get the throne. You only left me alive and took me in because you needed weapons a new generation of tools for your disposal".

Victorienne feigned a hurt look,"The game of power and politics is a very dangerous one. It's not my fault that your mother was too weak to win the game. Weakest links get cut off in the end your mother should have known better. And don't be like that. I gave you a friend and freedom"

"You put so many restriction spells on me that I can't even remember what they were. You limited my powers because you knew that I would become too strong and defeat you. So you couldn't take that chance. I can't go anywhere because I'm under heavy surveillance here. Tell me where's my freedom?", he looked over at Jorggon who had his eyes wide as a bunny rabbit,"as for a friend. He is also your son. You just had him so you could keep your legacy going long when you die. But he doesn't see you as a mother. He just sees you as the bitch whore that had him. Nothing more nothing less. Whereas I took the time to raise him and myself. I have always been there for him and have always been his true friend. So of course his loyalty is to me"

She looked like she wanted to snap his neck and she could in a fit of rage that was boiling inside her right now. Instead she shrugged and let go of his face.

"It doesn't matter anyways. Because if you don't tell me what he wouldn't tell me then I'll behead him. You don't want to be responsible for his death do you?, She walked over to the guillotine and put her hand on the lever

Kael hesitated for a moment. He looked down. He was put into the type of situation that he absolutely hated. Someone else was going to die for his actions. He looked at Victorienne, calculating. She was trying to leverage Jorgon's life in exchange for information.

"Selfish bitch", he thought,"sacrificing her own son to for the chance to eliminate a person who could potentially threaten her power". Although he didn't agree with the method it was indeed a smart move on her part. He had to give her that much. He decided to throw her a bone and see if he could get away with it.

"We…", he hesitated and attempted to swallow the lump in his throat that was forming,"we sneak out to the portal gates"

Jorggon let out a sigh and hung his head in defeat.

Victorienne nodded,"and why did you go to the portal gates?"

He hesitated trying to filter out what information he should give out that would be sufficient enough to spare Jorgon's life and not give out too much information that could harm Talura and still try to get the prophecy to happen.

"To...to try to fulfill the prophecy", he uttered out.

"Which prophecy?", she narrowed her eyes.

"You know…the prophecy", he looked down.

She broke out into a cold smile and slowly let out a giggle and then she went into full blown laughter.

"Are you kidding me?! Are we talking about the prophecy? The one that caused the Great War 5000 years ago?", she said in between laughs.

"The Sight, The Strength, The Hearing, The Healing, and The Touch all come together. These five things become one when a shadows circle is cast on the night of the ashen moon. Destruction and a new path of hope lie in its wake and put the wrong things to right",quoted Kael from memory.

"The Sight, The Strength, The Hearing, The Healing, and The Touch all come together. These five things become one when a shadows circle is cast on the night of the ashen moon. Destruction and a new path of hope lie in its wake and put the wrong things to right",mocked victorienne. She rolled her eyes.

"Oh please did you two actually think that you two could fulfill the prophecy by yourselves?"

"Actually yes",asaid Kael.

"Interesting…", she mused,"and tell me did you two actually figure out who or what else was part of the prophecy?"

He kept on looking between Victorienne and Jorggon. He didn't know what else to say that would be walking along a fine line. If he said nothing more his friend would die and it would be his fault. But if he said something that would give away Talura and then the prophecy would never happen and the vicious cycle would spread and repeat. He also believed that a few sacrifices were needed for the greater good of many. He needed to keep on trying to fulfill the prophecy so that he could change all of Hell so no one has to suffer like they did even at the cost of their lives. He just never expected it to be Jorggon. He couldn't give up. He had to keep trying for Jorgon's sake. He at least owed him that much.

He looked over at Jorggon with eyes that said "I'm so sorry". Jorggon craned his head to look at his mother then at Kael. His eyes were heavy with dread but they had a resignation to them. His eyes said "It's okay, it's for the best". Jorggon swallowed, nodded his head and looked down.

Kael said nothing.

"Well I'm waiting", said Victorienne impatiently.

A few moments of silence goes by and Kael says nothing.

"Answer me!", she said getting angry.

Kael still said nothing.

"ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW!", she yelled as he hand tightened on the lever.

Nothing. Not a word. Not a sound.

"Fine. OFF WITH HIS HEAD!", said Victorienne as she pulled down the lever sending the blade falling down.

"JORGGON!", Kael screamed desperately trying to find something to do to stop that blade but there was nothing.

"KAEL!"

Chop. Plop.

The room went quiet. It was too quiet. The silence was deafening to Kael.

Those would be the last words of Jorggon Paleblood. As his head fell off his now lifeless body. It slowly rolled a few times before stopping and looking directly at Kael. Kael watched in shock and mortified as he saw the light gradually leave his eyes.

In Hell there was dead and then there was dead-dead. Dead means you have a chance of coming back if you find the right person and if the price is right. That's why so many humans make deals with demons in exchange for their soul just to see their loved ones again. Dead-dead meas there is no possible way that you can come back. It doesn't matter if you're demon-born, demon-dead or just dead. Once you're dead-dead that's the end of the story for you.

And unfortunately for Kael, Jorggon was dead-dead.

Once the shock faded a little Kael looked down to give Jorggon a moment of silence.

"Thank you brother. You were the only one who's had any faith in me. You knew what I was and you never ran away not once. I promise that I will do everything in my powers and in all five realms of Hell that I will fulfill the prophecy and Hell will change for the better. I owe you at least that much. Thank you for being a true friend and Hell will be eternally grateful for your sacrifice. May the darkness be with you and merciful wherever you are".

"Guards! Clean up this mess at once!",commanded Victorienne.

A few of them mumbled 'yes my lady' and got to work right away.

She walked over to Kael. He made damn sure to look up at her dead in the eyes with the most hateful cold look up to date.

"As for you my prince", she turned her gaze away from him and looked at the two guards that was still holding him,"take him to the dungeon"

A few moments later he was tossed down the stairs and into a cell with the other slaves that were already in there.

"I can't kill you. You prove to be too useful. You're just an asset that we can't afford to throw away. So as your sentence for high treason instead of a high servant. You're being demoted to Slave. Your duties are to work in the obsidian quarry with the others, tend to me and other company that I decide to have over, and help around the palace cleaning and cooking. Any crime will be punished by 50-100 lashings or up to permanent death depending on the crime. Do you understand?"

Kael didn't say anything at first but then he nodded his head curtly.

"Good"

Victorienne slammed the cage door shut and locked it with the jingling of the faded golden keys. She looked at him with a pitiful expression.

"Poor Kael Bloodsworth. You just don't understand how to play the game do you? You threw away your greatest and only asset that you had. And for what? For a prophecy that may or may not exist? For a chance to overthrow me?", she took a deep breath and pretended to wince,"not your best move there Kael".

Kael didn't give her the satisfaction of saying anything in response. He just turned away from her, settled into his corner that he now calls home and looked out the barred window.

Victorienne waited a few minutes for any sort of retort. When she realized that she wasn't going to get one she shrugged and turned away to head up to the palace main room. Kael heard the clicking of her heels fading away and then the slam of the dungeon door.

Kael looked around to take in his surroundings. The rest of the slaves all looked at him and were whispering to one another. The walls and floor was damp and musty. Definitely some of the stone eroded away. It was also dark in there too. It was going to take some getting used to the sun again. If he ever got out for good. He looked around. It wasn't overcrowded but there werea too many people to make it uncomfortable. He saw the piles of straw that the slaves used for beds that were probably covered in urine and feces not to mention mice and insect infected too.

"If you have something to say about me, say it to my face! And if you don't quit whispering about me like I'm not here I promise you that you won't wake up the next day!", his voice boomed.

There was a stunned silence for a few moments. Then the rest of the slaves scurried back into their respective groups and began to talk quietly among themselves.

Kael turned away and tuned them out. He looked out the barred window out to the obsidian quarry which is no doubt where he'll be working first thing tomorrow. His mind wandered over to what just happened like fifteen minutes ago now.

"I'm so sorry Jorggon. But I had too it was for the cause. It's all my fault",he said in thought.

He let out a sigh and leaned his head against the damp stone wall and closed his eyes. The dampness provided some cool relief.

Victorienne was wrong about a lot of things. She was wrong about Jorggon being just an asset. He was so much more than that. He was a true friend and brother and was always there when he needed him the most. They have been through so much stuff together at the hands of life and Victorienne themselves that they formed a bond that even surpassed a blood brother.

She was also wrong about the prophecy. If it wasn't real then why was there a great big war about it? Why was Victorienne pressing questions on who else was part of the prophecy? Because on the off chance of what if? It was prophesied so long ago now that it's more of a myth. But every myth comes from a slim line of truth. There's always that chance of what if? And that was a chance Victorienne wasn't going to take. She'll destroy anyone who challenges her power and gets in her way.

But at least he kept Talura safe.

For now.

But at what cost? The life of his friend?

That's when it dawned on him.

Everything has a price

I mean of course he knew it. Everything has their consequences. You just don't know how big those could be. That's the gamble. But this was the first time he really thought about it more than just having it be common sense.

Is it worth it?

He honestly couldn't answer that even if he wanted to. But he believes that there needs to be a few sacrifices for the greater good of others. It just so happens to be his best friend. As much as he didn't like it his instincts and intuition told him that he did the right thing. He would have to wait until the child was of age and come down here to fulfill the prophecy and hope that Hell would change for the better.

Sweet darkness he hoped that he did the right thing.

But that's all he really can do for the time being.

Is just sit back and hope.

[theravenclawrevolutionary]

A Good Omens Fanfic I thought of While Serving Mass because I'm ever so holy.

Sorry that the boys are kinda out of character. I had writer's block while writing but oh well. We don't wait for inspiration we fall like Crowley. Original Bible story linked below. Because as the totally good model Catholic child I am I now think of GO every time I go to mass now.

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There were many things that Crowley enjoyed doing with his infinite amount of free time. There were also many things Aziraphale enjoyed doing with his equally infinite amount of free time. At this particular time, neither thing happened to be each other. Instead, it was alcohol. Drinking extraordinary amounts of it.

“Do… Do ya… Ngk. D’you think that you... you’d wanna do this again later this week Angel?” Crowley slurred, smiling messily over his new sunglasses at his drinking partner who had just taken another sip. “Like… like… erm... Friday or somethin’?” Aziraphale set down his glass and pondered the question for a moment before shaking his head furiously.

“No... no I mustn't,” he said nervously. His fingers, Crowley noticed, we’re tracing anxious patterns onto the table. “We… we... really… No. We ought not to. I mean we really shouldn’ even be here now. After all, if my superiors found out we’d met…And I… I got somethin’ important to do any day now. That young man the Almighty sent for the humans, Jesus, I think his name is?” Crowley nodded shortly, took another swig, and motioned for him to continue, wondering what that had to do with anything. “They haven't told me what yet, but I have to do something."

"F*ck," Crowley yelled, slamming his cup down onto the table so hard it spilled. "F*ck, f*ck, sh*t, f*ck, F*CK! I completely forgot… I gotta go. See ya 'round Angel." And with a slam of the door he left the pub.

“Right. Yes. Erm… see you around I guess," Aziraphale said

With a quick miracle Crowley sobered himself up, straightened his glasses, and stormed off. This Jesus bloke was really messing with plans. Why couldn’t they get Beelzebub or some demon that actually cared to tempt him. But no! As the only bloody demon on Earth it had to be him.

    “Ello,” Crowley said from where he appeared, mericaling himself already leaning casually against a nearby rock. “It’s been what, forty days? Yeah. Somethin’ like that. You’re that Jesus kid ‘m guessing?” The young man in front of him nodded slowly, and absentmindedly ran his fingers through his long dark hair as if not quite sure how to respond. Crowley took it as an invitation to keep talking. “ “Oh come on! You’re not so holier-than-thou that you’re not going to talk to me are you? I’ve got places to go, demon things to do!” Still Jesus said nothing. “So. You humans have to eat and you’ve been here for... however long I forgot about you. I can turn those rocks into bread for you.” 

    He snapped his fingers, momentarily transforming the rocks into freshly baked loaves of bread. With a grin he snapped again, changing them back to the rocks they'd been before. With that he paused and looked at the young man across from him. "Well I suppose you COULD do that yourself, couldn't you. Being the son of the Almighty and all that. That IS something you can do right? Make these stones bread, or whatever it is humans eat these days. Personally, I don't eat. Don't really see the appeal.  But Azira- er... my ah... friend does." For the first time since Crowley had arrived, his companion spoke.

    "'It is written that one does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.' I will not eat your devil food, foul creature." Crowley glared at the young man. He was used to being called many things like The Serpent of Eden which he took as a complement, even if it was only the truth. However, foul creature seemed a bit much, not that it wasn't true either. At least by Jesus' standards.

    "What the f*ck was that for? Name calling isn't all that holy of you. And I haven't even started... oh. You thought that was me trying to tempt you? Please. I have much f*ckin' higher standards than that. Just you wait." Jesus looked at him passively. There was almost no emotion on his face. This offended Crowley, who had wanted to be at least a little impressive. Not, he told himself, that it really mattered. "Anyway," he said, trying to keep his tone light and conversational. "How 'bout a little change of scenery?" With another unnecessary snap of his fingers he brought them to the top of Jerusalem's temple.

    "What are you doing now," Jesus asked, curious against his better judgement. 

    "Changing the scenery," Crowley responded dryly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "What did I just say? And don't worry. No one can see us. At least not really. Consider that a little demonic blessing if you will."

    "I don't want it," Jesus said. "I appreciate your concern, but take it off please." Crowley ignored him.

    "On a completely unrelated note I think you should jump. Not that I really want you to die or anything. But it would really help me make sure I've got the right 'Son of God' or whatever. I know it says somewhere in that bible Azir- er my friend from before reads, that if you do that then angels are going to catch you or something. Something about not letting your foot dash against a rock or something."

“Again it is written, 'You shall not put the Lord, your God, to the test'. You will never win Raphael Once Angel of the Lord.”

"Huh," Crowley said, grimacing for a millisecond before covering it with a half smirk. "That... that's a name I haven't heard in millennia. But the thing is I can't very well put the 'Lord my God' to the test if I'm fallen. I don't really have much of a god anymore." Jesus pursed his lips and crossed his arms but said nothing. Clearly Crowley had a point, even if he didn't want to admit it.For the third and final time that day Crowley snapped his fingers and brought the two of them back to the desert they originally started in. "Right. Well this is the tempting bit I'm supposed to do. Legally required and all that sh*t."

"Must you use such crude language demon?"

"Yes. Sh*t, F*ck, d*mn, and all that. Plus I have a name. Not one that I'm telling you, but I have one. Now shut up and let me do my thing." Jesus sighed but let him continue. "So if you'd look over there you'll see all the kingdoms in the whole bloody world. I'm supposed to tell you that we'll give you all of them, if you just worship Satan. That's all there is to it. And it's really not so bad. Not IF you get used to it." It was a desperate but required attempt. Crowley didn't really care whether Jesus said yes or no. If he said yes, he'd get a huge commendation. If he said no they'd blame it on the fact that he was the son of the Almighty.

“Get away, demon! It is written: The Lord, your God, shall you worship and him alone shall you serve.” 

"Yeah. Thought that was gonna happen. Coulda gone worse. See ya 'round kid. And just a warning. Things are gonna get a LOT worse after this. Just don't blame me for it. Pretty sure an angel's supposed to show up around here some time in the near future." With a final grin flashed in Jesus' direction and a wave of his hand for dramatic effect Crowley turned into his snake form and slithered away. One hour and several minutes later a slightly flustered angel who had been on earth for quite some time arrived.

"Oh dear... I'm ever so sorry. I... I had something I had to finish doing. Did I... did I keep you waiting long Lord?" Jesus smiled kindly down at Aziraphale.

"No Principality Aziraphale. Not long. Come, sit. Let us eat." Beaming, Aziraphale sat beside the savior of the world, who made a mental note about that 'something' the angel had mentioned. Jesus, son of the Almighty and savior of the Earth, would have bet everything then and there that Aziraphale's 'something' he'd been doing was the demon that had left.

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[leilas-digital-scrapbook-blog]

Giving Love a Bad Name – Confessions of a Fanfiction Writer

I know we’re supposed to blog about our major projects this week and I promise I will get to that soon, but I’d like to go off book for a moment to address something that’s been bugging me since last Thursday’s class. As someone who’s always tried to engage with fandom in as creative a way as possible, I hoped a class on user generated content would offer a fresher perspective than the usual amount of prejudice and self-righteous superiority that sadly seem to accompany the subject of fanfiction even amongst people that make stories and their passion for it their bread and butter.

Guess I should have known better.

In the world of professional writers, fanfiction is still a filthy word. It sums up everything that’s wrong with the people you’re sharing your stories with: the obsessiveness, the entitlement, the disregard for boundaries, the penchant for making everything about sex. Worse, gay sex, as unspeakably dirty as it’s hilarious. Be warned, writers: if you make it big, your stories will inevitably become a free-for-all at the mercy of those people. A worse fate than even George R. R. Martin could wish on his own characters.

I’m used to seeing the world of fanfiction belittled and disparaged, of course, and I’m the first to admit that the community is often its own worst enemy. But for some reason it still hurt a little to sit in class and listen to people I’ve come to like and respect during these past few months buy into every bad stereotype associated with the form. Not because I felt called out (though yes, I do write fanfiction from time to time, and I happen to quite enjoy reading it too), but because of the underlying assumptions that 1. something that’s not 100% original cannot be art, it’s a violence in fact, especially if it twists someone else’s creation into something it was never meant to be (in this case, queer representation); and 2. there’s something wrong with creating exclusively out of love, without ever expecting to be paid for it. And I have Strong Opinions on that.

So let’s talk about fanfiction.

Actually, scratch that, let’s talk about my favorite subject – yours truly. As you may have gathered by now, I love fanfiction. A whole fangirly lot. My gateway drug into it was my obsession with Lost about 10 years ago and its pesky habit of offing every character I was foolish enough to get attached to. But lo! Someone was keeping them alive through their stories! I felt blessed. I got to spend more time in a world I loved, and I stopped flirting with the idea of giving up on the show every time another character I liked bit the dust. Everybody won.

Even more than as a fan, though, I appreciated the world of possibilities that fanfiction opened up to me as a non-native speaker. I come from a small town in the north of Italy; the access I had to foreign books in their original language was limited, and if I wanted to read something in English I’d have to spend quite a lot of money on one of the very few novels (usually chunky airport bookshop thrillers or housewife romances – not exactly my preferred genres) that shared a single shelf in the bookstore with German, French, Spanish titles. But fanfiction was free, accessible, and there was so much of it. If I didn’t like a story, all I needed to do was move on to the next. Suddenly there was an infinite library of engaging stories to help me make my English better. True, they didn’t all read like a published novel would – there’s a lot of unpolished, error-plagued, stream-of-consciousness-y material out there. But there are also so, so many beautifully written works, and believe me, even for a non-native speaker it’s very easy to spot the difference.

Fanfiction also gave me the chance and motivation to practice my English writing in a way school never could have done. I’ve been writing my own stories since I could hold a pen, but I didn’t dare write in English until I was a fanfiction-loving teenager. It was a marketing decision, really – my first foray into writing fanfiction was for a fandom so small that I wouldn’t be surprised to find out I’m the only Italian representative, so if I wanted any kind of feedback on my work I’d have to suck it up and try my hand at writing in a language that didn’t come natural to me. I would never argue that the feedback I got on my works made me a better writer – contrary to popular opinion, the fanfiction community is made up of the nicest, most supportive people, and alas, you’ll never get a comment on everything you did wrong with your structure or even just pointing out common grammar mistakes from them (though I was lucky enough to have someone explain to me how dialogue punctuation works differently in English than in Italian, so I guess something can be learned even from the Internet). It did motivate me to keep writing, though, and that made me a better writer. If you think I’m being too dramatic, dishing out this monster of a post nobody asked for just to declare my eternal devotion to fanfiction, it’s because it’s personal to me. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been told that I write in English as well as native speakers, and fanfiction is a big part of why that’s true. I doubt I would even be in this course if it wasn’t for it.

And then, of course, there’s the gay thing. I’m not going to argue about how heteronormativity sucks and representation matters because I’m sure everyone’s as sick of talking about it as I am, but please try to understand how it felt for a gay person like me, used to be depicted in media as a plot device or token secondary-character representation if at all, to be able to step into a world where queerness was the default for once. Where queer protagonists had meaningful queer love stories and queer friends and got to save the world from the Apocalypse too. Or to fight the Empire or go to Hogwarts or everything else fictional straight people have had a right to do since the dawn of storytelling in addition to romancing the hottie of their choice. I’m not asking you to feel as passionately about it, of course, but (especially if you’re straight) you might try and empathize the next time you think a fanart of two boys kissing is something deserving of your amused contempt.

I hope I’m not coming across as the person that screams “homophobe” at everyone who disagrees with her because I guarantee that’s not what I’m trying to do here, but I think the general distaste for slash says a lot about the way our society sees heterosexual relationships as love and homosexual relationships as sex. Yes, there’s a lot of gay porn in the world of fanfiction. But you know what you’re most likely to find? Romance. Not in the saucy literary sense of the word, but in its simpler, most literal acceptation. Fanfiction is just one more way for humans to express themselves, after all, and love has always been front and center in our art. Love, not sex – even if it’s gay. In fact, explicit material doesn’t even make up the majority of what you’ll find on a fanfiction website. Don’t worry, I don’t want anyone to taint their souls by visiting one of those dens of iniquity so I pulled some stats myself. Here’s the number of works for each rating in three of the most popular fandoms on Archive Of Our Own, the current go-to website for the fanfiction community (sorry Fanfiction.net) – Harry Potter, Supernatural and the Marvel Cinematic Universe as of 9/3/2019:

Even counting both Mature and Explicit works as straight-up porn (which I don’t think is quite fair, but that’s a discussion for another day), they only make up less than 1/3 of the material. Kinda disappointing, for a medium that’s supposed to be all about filthy graphic gay sex. Imagine if only one in three musicals actually featured singing and dancing, or superheroes weren’t in the majority of superhero movies. They’re lucky fanfiction is shared for free, or I’d be screaming for my money back.

Maybe I’ve just been brainwashed by SJWs, though, and this has nothing to do with my being an immigrant or a lesbian. Maybe my inability to see what’s so bad about appropriating someone else’s intellectual property for your own amusement is a cultural thing. I apologize – as mentioned, I’m Italian, and we all know Ancient Roman culture was basically just a ripoff of everything those inventive Greeks came up with. It’s in our blood. Hell, our 2€ coin, the biggest, has the face of Dante Alighieri on it, a writer most famous for having written 14.000+ verses of self-insert real-person-fic in which the girl he fancied as a teenager, his favorite author, and God himself all fall over themselves to tell him how awesome he is and he gets to prophesy an eternity in Hell for his political enemies. Talk about wish-fulfilling entitlement. Not to mention all those creatively arid Renaissance “artists” celebrated for stealing characters from the Bible and Greek mythology (seriously, the fact that Greece hasn’t unleashed an army of lawyers on us yet is nothing short of a miracle) and putting them in their cheesy paintings. Other countries can rely on a much stronger moral backbone and endless imagination – I’m sure Shakespeare, Milton, Goethe, those creative geniuses at Disney and countless others never had to resort to something as cheap and despicable as borrowing other people’s characters to tell the stories they wanted to tell.

Either way, I can’t help it – I see the prospect of creating something that will resonate with people so strongly that they’ll make it a part of themselves, that it’ll compel them to make more art, to reach out and connect with other fans, as something incredibly beautiful rather than scary. Maybe this is my usual naiveté speaking, and I will come to eat my words. It’s certainly disturbing that a bunch of entitled fans bullied the Mass Effect developers into changing the series’ ending, and sending actors explicit fanart of themselves is straight-up harassment, but is fanfiction really the problem here? Or is it social network culture, with its power to destroy all barriers and foster hive mind? To give resentment a platform to spread and be heard? I promise that the average fanfiction writer wouldn’t campaign to get an ending changed. They’d just roll up their sleeves and write a better one themselves.

[blessuswithblogs]

Katsura Hashino is a Big Fat Creep and Other Observations

(for the record all uses of the word “queer” in this post are meant in the academic sense as shorthand for a wide umbrella group of gender and sexual minorities and not as a slur i hope that is evident from my past history and status as Big Gay Bitch Who Loves Girls but let it never be said i don’t cover my ass)

A few weeks ago, Catherine: Full Body Edition or whatever gross subtitle it got was released. Catherine has had a very checkered history as one of those games that is just kind of slimy, though it has endured with a cult following and a surprisingly successful competitive community by way of the game's multiplayer mode where you compete to see who can climb The Dream Sex Tower the best. Honestly, I don't know that much about Catherine because it is difficult to think of a game that repulses me more on a visceral level, but I want to do my due diligence and not talk out my ass. One of Catherine's initial claims to fame was that it was by Atlus Japan, specifically the same people who made the much beloved Persona games. This is evident in the game's art, music, overall style of delivery, and being basically hate speech.

The original Catherine was a greasy, misogynistic mess with some really vile politics about trans people in particular. Deadnaming your own fictional character in the credits is some next level petty malice. Full Body returns with, stupendously, a double down on this ideology that is actually kind of comical in how convoluted it gets in trying to decry the Degenerate Queer Lifestyle. The game adds a scene with Rin, who is apparently a gay crossdresser from space(???????), getting slapped away and running away crying from their love interest after he learns The Terrible Truth. In another game, with a different writing team, this could have been a teachable moment about the destructive consequences of taking too narrow a view of human sexuality and gender expression, but as it stands it's just another tiresome example of Trans Panic with a sheepish admonishment from the other characters that gosh maybe slapping their hand away was a mean thing to do.

So we're already firing on all cylinders here, but the best is yet to come. The bulk of the outcry comes from the addition of a weird "true ending" cutscene where Catherine, who is also from space, goes back in time to make everybody's life better. Or something. This is already pretty stupid on the face of it because its Fucking Time Travel Out of Nowhere, but the scene then depicts a pre-transition Erica, the game's trans character who got deadnamed in the credits the last time. There has been a lot of exceptionally tedious discussion about exactly when this scene takes place in the game's chronology and what it means for Erica, and some brain geniuses have tied their thinkmeats into pretzel shapes to prove definitively that all this means is that she delayed her transition in this Better Timeline, that might not actually be better, because Catherine is weird and selfish, maybe. And. Fine. Sure. Okay. Let's accept that for now. Given the game's previous track record, and continuing insistence on using Erica's pretransition name in the credits even in the rerelease, it is meanspirited at best to show her before her transition at all (many real life trans people would be utterly mortified for such a thing to happen to them) and overall just in poor taste and pretty lousy writing at that because it's so unclear what any of this actually means. Since the game has not yet received an official english localization, the context of this scene is to begin with muddled by amateur translators on the internet all with slightly conflicting interpretations of the scene. It's a fucking mess, by and large.

So I would disagree that this is a fake controversy manufactured by those damnable essjaydubyas. Even with the most charitable interpretation possible, it's still just really sketchy and gross. Erica's english voice actress, who seems to be very fond of the character, has been vocal about her dissatisfaction with the new scenes on twitter and has recently come out to say that the localization team is going to try and take some steps to make things less blatantly hateful. Between this and Jennifer Hale's recent tweet about it being time to grab our pitchforks in response to Activision-Blizzard's mass layoffs, I'm starting to think that voice actresses are pretty cool. I mean honestly I always thought that but we're getting off topic. One of the top competitive Catherine players, who was by all accounts really hyped for the release of Full Body, just straight up said on twitter that he was quitting the game because he couldn't support something like that in good conscience. I don't know if he's remained consistent on this position since, but it was a bold statement, to say the least.

Now, whenever an incident like this happens, the inevitable string of More-Progressive-Than-Thou white boys who watched an anime once and thought the bouncing titties were a little much appears to start pontificating about the cause of such untoward elements in media. And it's basically all just a bunch of Orientalist bullshit. Every time. For whatever reason, people still really love to be racist towards Japanese people because it's still sort of socially acceptable when couched in the language of "oh japan!!! ecks dee" and so the neverending procession of softboi neckbeards declared with confidence that Atlus's continual inclusion of Actual Hate Speech towards LGBTQ+ people was the result of the inscrutable Japanese Mind and its Mysterious, Antiquated Culture. Many mentions of the philosophy of Wa, wherein the nail that stands out gets pounded down, and lots of very lovely psuedointellectual claptrap. Evidently, people just seem to think that queer people don't live in Japan, or that they don't fight just as hard as we do for equal rights and protections under the law. They do live there, and they do fight as hard as we do. Obviously. You fucking imbeciles.

In their quest to clearly illustrate their moral and intellectual superiority to the backward, collectivist Asiatic Peoples, these highly reasonable and enlightened manboys forsook a very important logical principle: Occam's Razor. Sure, you could blame jApAnEsE cUlTuRe for Atlus's impropieties and just conveniently ignore all of the fantastic queer media it has produced in recent years like My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness, Horou Muskou, Nier Automata, etc. Or you could go for the simpler and more logically consistent option: Katsura Hashino is a big fat creep. Who is Hashino, you ask? He is the director of every Persona game since 3, as well as Catherine, and all of these games' gross shit and self-contradictory themes of self-acceptance and rebellion against an unust society (unless you're gay, ew) can probably be traced to him and his gaggle of accomplices. In addition to the fact that Atlus games not by Hashino's team tend to just. not have these problems to nearly as large a degree or even at all, Hashino himself has gone on record saying some really kind of hilariously backwards shit. Most infamously, when asked why in Persona 3 literally all of your social links with girls ended up with Hot Makeout Sessions regardless of like. Previously Committed to Relationships. Hashino simply said he couldn't imagine friendships between boys and girls. So that's where his brain is at. Since subsequent games in the series graciously allowed the player the option to not be a Huge Cheating Bastard, one can assume either his moral development has progressed past early puberty or somebody on the team convinced him this wasn't actually a normal thing to think. Given the man's output, I would say it's probably the latter.

It is because of this man's decisions and behavior that so many people are simply unwilling to give Full Body the benefit of the doubt. The game's director is, quite simply, a well known louse, and not in the endearing, Roger Smith way. Once again, it requires far fewer leaps in logic to assume that Hashino is just being a bigoted creep again than to go through some fuckin galaxy brain Kingdom Hearts-esque dot-connecting to justify it as just a LITTLE BIT bigoted not REALLY SUPER bigoted, or simply blaming the whole ordeal on some strange ineffable property of the Japanese Character. He's a gremlin! An overgrown manchild with a warped view of human interaction and society put in charge of games about exploring those concepts for.... reasons. My bet is that his dad knew somebody and then Persona 3 was successful enough for the rest of Atlus to just go "alright fine let him do it while we do mainline games". Unfortunately, Persona became so popular that the mainline games sort of switched places and became side-projects, at least in the eyes of the Western consumer base (which let's be real is the only perspective that any of these Serious Online Commentators even pretend to care about).

So I would once again caution everyone against just assuming that Japan is some sort of quaint anachronistic country of weird gameshows and backwards social mores. This is both a gross oversimplification of an entire culture and the struggles of their own subgroups and minorities and simply a grand display of lacking self-awareness. Like have you fucking seen the guys in the White House? The preposterous media that gets routinely greenlit on prime time TV, theaters, and digitally? Don't make me laugh. The West has no claim to any sort of progressive superiority to anybody else. The white cishet bubble of comfortable middle class affluence might distort what you see of the rest of the world, but believe me: we got problems too. Big ones. Even the presupposed bastions of Demsoc Virtue like Sweden have an awful track record of discrimination and eugenics. But Dazzlyn that's different, you cry! All of these groups and forces don't represent the entirety of Western culture! Yes. Exactly. Oppression is not culturally bound like cuisine or art. It is a nasty, universal thing that worms its way into everything, and it will use any excuse it can find to murder and exploit. It's against Christian values! It represents a genetic defect that must be purged! It's ostentatious and immature! The list goes on. And every time you giggle and go "oh those silly japanese" you're just being another expression of the same vile ideas.

I'm going to relate some of my own personal experiences, because as a noted Big Gay Bitch Who Loves Girls, I feel like maybe I have some authority on the matter? Just a little? Enough that if I make a well reasoned argument it can't be dismissed out of hand? Let's hope. So, what's the gayest game I've ever played? Final Fantasy XIV Online: A Realm Reborn. Look yeah I know I'm talking about it again but come back this is important. Final Fantasy is a series that has had a lot of LGBTQ+ undertones pretty much since forever, and while they have largely been in keeping with the times in terms of tact and representation (the Crossdressing Cloud debacle is a deeply bizarre, uncomfortable sequence in a lot of ways but there's also some genuine Good Gay Shit in 7 like Cloud's surprisingly cute and genuine date with Barret. I think. It's... it's been a while.), by God, it was at least there, and 13 had honest to god Lesbians, Harold in Fang and Vanille. I don't want to say it has pedigree, but the series has dabbled. XIV continues on the tradition with a vibrant world that's actually got a lot of characters and NPCs that are just incidentally there and kind of gay. The adventurer couple that befriended the Tonberries in Wanderer's Palace, a vendor that appeared in the Rising cosplaying as Minfilia at her wife's behest, a miqote lady bathing in the oasis that lets on she wouldn't mind having cute girls stare at her instead of grabby boys, every horny Elezen in Ishgard, Samson and Guydelot (shoutouts to Lulumi Lumi), and probably more that I've missed. More than that, though, is that because FFXIV is an MMO, it is by necessity a social space, and in my experience it has been one that has gone out of its way to be inclusive to everybody, from the GMs handling reports of abusive behavior right up to the top decision makers who made same sex player marriages a thing just immediately on its implementation and letting boys wear the gold saucer bunny costume too (albeit after quite a bit of pleading). The game's got a huge queer community of which I am kind of part of sort of. It's one of the reasons I keep coming back to it. Hell, they've recently partnered with a pride group in Australia to have an FFXIV float in a parade. I usually turn my nose up at such things as meaningless corporate grandstanding, but it does seem to be more meaningful than two boy pastas getting married or rainbow colored oreos because like. Cheesy as it sounds, it's more than just a brand to a lot of people, it's a place, sometimes the only place, they can go to feel safe and accepted in a community. Having official, vocal support from the dev team means genuinely a lot, I think.

Now, there is one quality about this game of which I am speaking that might strike you as noteworthy: it is Japanese. It's made by Japanese people, in Japan, under a Japanese company. A middle aged Japanese man goes up on stage in Gunbreaker cosplay to speak in Japanese about the upcoming expansion, while a meme obsessed gremlin translates for him. It's not perfect, there are problems, etcetera, why do I even need to qualify that in 2019, when everything sucks, god. But it's better than most things. I hope that it serves as an example to people that even in the supposedly regressive countries of the world, queer communities are still living, fighting, and sometimes even being heard, and that the only thing you're enriching by dismissing them wholesale as socially backwards is your own internet penis. And nobody fucking cares about that you simpleton. I expect 5.0 to be gayer than ever before because they're taming up with Yoko Taro to do a Nier themed raid and by the 12 Warrior of Light Dazzyn Reed is going to kiss 2B or an equivalent model right on the robot lips.

[jbuffyangel]

Truth and Lies: Arrow 6x18 Review (Fundamentals)

I love Vertigo. We get the best Olicity episodes out of this drug and "Fundamentals" did NOT disappoint. Angsty Arrow driven mad by his own internal demons and the love of his life fighting through the darkness to reach the light within him? 

If you are wondering why this review is delayed it's because I've been watching "Fundamentals” on a loop. And binging Westworld, but that's not my fault. @callistawolf​ told me to watch it. But really also watching "Fundamentals" on a loop. There’s so much to unpack that this took me three days to write and another full day to gif.   

I am prepared to say 6x18 might be my favorite episode of the season. I think I liked it better than the wedding AND the wedding RECEPTION. I know I know. That's crazy talk, but that's what Vertigo does man. EMBRACE THE INSANITY BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME.

Let's dig in...

Olicity

I'm not really sure how to divide this review into sections primarily because it's just a mass of Oliver losing his shiznit, punctuated with extremely excellent scenes with Felicity. So we're rolling fast and loose on the headings. Cool? Cool.

I like angst. No, that's not right. I LOVE ANGST. You really can't survive seven years of watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer live, in your formative teenage years, and not come out with the ability to embrace the pain. But I don't enjoy angst that's just angst for angst's sake. (Yeah that's a sentence. I think.) I want angst with purpose. I want it to move the characters somewhere or at the very least reveal truths. Maybe they are truths we already know and simply need confirmed once and awhile. Maybe they are truths we didn't even know existed. Regardless, if angst has a point then I'm in.

Some may disagree with me regarding the angst in "Fundamentals." It may feel like ground we've already covered, and I can certainly understand why some may have that opinion. I have a differing one, however. I feel 6x18 unearthed some new truths regarding Oliver Queen and his journey this season that I have not previously considered.

Source: @olivergifs​

The opening is familiar, but new. The Arrow is back! It's been so long since we've seen Oliver as the Arrow that the action felt fresh. Immediately there was a different vibe compared to all the other action scenes we've seen over the past three years. It is dark, brutally violent and fast. And extremely hot.

The Arrow moves like a shadow and creates a visceral reaction of fear. That piece is familiar. The skill set of the Arrow and the Green Arrow remain the same, but their tactics are not. The Green Arrow works within a team. He is quick, but deliberate. Strategic, but adaptable. He is threatening, but instills a sense of calm. The Green Arrow doesn't shy from the light the same way the Arrow does. Both masks serve justice, but one instills hope while the other instills fear. We are supposed to notice a difference between these two personas, which is why "Fundamentals" opens fast and hard with the violence of the Arrow. It's to remind us of Oliver Queen's evolution and how far he's come. What drives and fuels the Arrow is something the Green Arrow does not have:

Rage.

Oliver has opened up his heart over the last six years. He rediscovered brotherhood and friendship. Oliver fell in love and became a father. The anger created by the injustice all around him and his five years of trauma is no longer burning him up inside. Oliver faced the worst parts of himself, and by doing so, the anger gave way to something else. Something more hopeful. The Green Arrow fights injustice just like the Arrow, but the tactic is not merely to beat it down. The Green Arrow wants to build upon the ashes of injustice. Oliver also recognizes the mask is not the only avenue in which he can be of service to Star City. He finally realized the man behind the mask can also have an impact.

Or at least... that's what Oliver tried to do. As usual our hero fails as much as he succeeds, but real change does not come without failure. The problem is Oliver does not understand where he went wrong. Team Arrow has fallen apart. Rene and Dinah betrayed him. Curtis turned his back on Oliver. And John Diggle, his brother, left him.  

"You've become a better man, but a worse leader."

John's words are haunting Oliver because he doesn't understand them. How can he be a better man, the man John always asked him to be, and a worse leader?

Listen, I am 100% on Team Oliver with this one. That's straight up bonkers and Diggle doesn't have Vertigo as an excuse. We're also supposed to wonder what in the blazing hell happened to Oliver that he's wearing the Arrow suit, going full rage-a-thon, and walking into what is obviously a suicide mission (even for him).

*Drugs, drugs, druggidy, drugs* Oh sorry. We're supposed to be pretending we don't know why Oliver is cuckoo for cocoa puffs right now. My bad.

Source:  felicityssoliver

So, we're flashing back to ten hours earlier. Now it's really important to remember we are supposed to be confused with the timeline. Both the police captain and the DA have accused Oliver of firing them to impede the Green Arrow investigation . Unfortunately, Oliver just fired them because they admitted to being Diaz's lackeys and not because he has actual proof. I think. Last week's episode was so many levels of screwy I kind of stopped paying attention to some of the details. Anywho, Oliver begs his genius wife to get some rock solid evidence against them so he can hold onto his day job. Also, avoiding prison would be neat.

The SCPD security monitors go white noise at exactly 10:13 every night, so Felicity rapidly deduces Diaz is monitoring his lackeys at that time. Oliver agrees and wouldn't you know that's prime Green Arrow time! Felicity immediately tells Oliver he can't go in there alone because suicide, but he's too jazzed about ending all his Diaz problems to listen.

Source:  felicitysmoakgifs

Felicity, bless her heart, decides to play marriage counselor one more time and parent traps Oliver and Diggle into meeting into the bunker. Yes, she actually uses the words "parent trap" and it's awesome. I love one cupcake. Also, the original Parent Trap with Hayley Mills will always be the superior version. Come fight me.

It's a disaster. Both Oliver and Diggle are still extremely pissed off at each other, which is fair. This was one horrid fight. Diggle informs Oliver he's considering taking a job at A.R.G.U.S. and Oliver offers a solid burn in return:

“Last time you needed something from A.R.G.U.S., you had to steal it.”

I, once again, am on Team Oliver on this one. I don't mind the snippiness and think it's fairly warranted. If John is looking to find a purpose beyond Oliver Queen and live outside his shadow (and he is - even if he can't admit it yet), then I fail to see how A.R.G.U.S. is any different. Diggle needs a purpose of his own. As much as I will love seeing a Dyla team up, I don't think it really solves John's problem all that much. A.R.G.U.S. is Lyla's purpose. It always has been. I'm not saying John can't find purpose with his wife and her employer. He certainly can, but a lot of John's argument against Oliver was about striking out on his OWN. This isn't exactly an independent venture. So, I understand why Oliver may see some hypocrisy on the wall.

Diggle: Oliver, you keep up that attitude man you are gonna end up all alone.

Oliver: I've listened to your advice for the last six years. I think I've earned a reprieve.

Oliver has taken, what I feel, is a lot of unnecessary shit from everyone and quite frankly it's way more entertaining to see him swinging back than simply taking it. Felicity is disappointed her little make up session didn't end with bromance hugs and kisses, but Diggle is not surprised. He essentially tells Felicity Oliver is stubborn, alienates people with his attitude, and likes to be alone - and nobody knows that better than her.

It's an irritating comment and not a fair one. If that was all true than Oliver would have never married Felicity in the first place. Diggle keeps throwing ALL of Oliver's past mistakes in his face (and now Felicity's) to continue making his argument as to why Oliver is a crappy leader. Again, Diggle's beef and his snarky comments would have made so much more sense in SEASON THREE. 

The real goal of the comment is to make Felicity worry Oliver will ice her out next, which is as about as mean as John Diggle gets. However, it's primarily intended to make us worry about the status of their marriage. I RAISED YOU BETTER THOUGH.

Oliver has a meeting with Councilmen Kullens who tells him he can't fire the very people who are investigating him. That looks really bad. Oliver insists the two are working for Diaz.

Kullens: From what I understand, Ricardo Diaz is a second rate drug dealer who was released from prison on a technicality.

He got the second rate part right. Kullens cannot fathom how a two bit hood like Diaz could possibly coerce city officials like the DA and police captain and oh my god it's even more stupid when I type it. Can we put an arrow in this guy? He bugs me. Kullens informs Oliver impeachment proceedings begin that afternoon and he'll have a chance to please his case then, which means Oliver is on the clock and needs to get some evidence FAST.

Oliver races home to check in with Felicity and take William to his science fair. The kid cloned cabbage. Yes, CLONED. 

This is one character we never want to have a dark spiral on Arrow. Use your powers for good William. That's all I'm saying son.

On top of being a child genius, William is also extremely OCD about time. So, when Oliver comes in late his son is extra anxious to get going. This is my child in TV form. She puts her winter coat and snow pants on 20 minutes before she leaves for the bus, stands in the kitchen watching TV, so she's in direct eye line to clock because GOD FORBID she's a micro second late.

Unfortunately, the evidence Felicity compiles against Diaz is only something a police department to get their hands on or... the Green Arrow.

Oliver drops to that lower octave which increases the hot by several levels.

Felicity tries to joke her way out of it by telling Oliver to inform the council he's married to a super hacker and HUBBY IS NOT AMUSED. It's one thing for him to get imprisoned, but he cannot joke about it happening to Felicity. Ugh. I love him.

Unfortunately, Oliver's adorableness is short lived. He rapidly spirals into an asshole. Felicity tries to explain that she tried to set up a believable trail for the evidence but that she ran out of time.

Oliver: You ran out of time because you're focusing on making John and I reconcile instead of doing your job!

HIT THE DECKS. HUBBY IS ABOUT TO BLOW! I think my husband values his life to much to ever say something like to me, but he's been at this a little bit longer than Oliver. Give him a decade. He'll learn.

Felicity is WTF and rightfully so. They segue into arguing about whether or not Felicity is on Oliver's side.

(She is you big, angry tree trunk).

William chooses this exact moment to interrupt their argument by reminding his father that they are running late. When my parent's fought I found the nearest exit.  Read the room kid.

Oliver blows. Big time. He yells at William while simultaneously destroying the science fair project. Ah man, that was cloned cabbage dude. That would have made an interesting salad.

Cue awkward silence and horrified looks from Felicity and William. I am so uncomfortable. This feels voyeuristic. *She says while having zero issues watching Olicity sex scenes on a loop.*

Source: @olivergifs

Oliver tries to apologize to William, who storms out, and explain to Felicity it was an accident but she tells him to get the fuck out. I added the fuck because that was the tone and if we were on cable it would have absolutely been there. 

Source:  oliverfelicitygifs

MAMA BEAR MODE ACTIVATED.

Nobody messes with the cub. Not even Dad. Honestly, the addition of William was one of my big worries for Season 6 because I questioned how Arrow would integrate the child into the story lines. But William has become one of my favorite parts of the season, particularly when it comes to his relationship with Felicity. Felicity becoming the world's best step mother is not remotely surprising, but it doesn't lessen the joy watching it develop on screen. William has come to depend on her just as much as Oliver. Maybe even more because they bond frequently over their genius level IQs.

Sometimes you need to tell your child "Not right now" in a stern voice. Sometimes raising your voice is required. Sometimes you blow a fuse as a parent. We are, after all, only human and humans are imperfect. Parents make mistakes. Oliver raising his voice to William didn't bother me too much. Although, I think he could have directed a little more tough love when his son wandered off from the bunker into the field and almost got himself blown up. Screaming over being late to the science fair was a gross overreaction. A stern "take a number buddy" would have sufficed just fine. And yeah, sometimes you have to tell a kid twice because he’s a kid.

What bothered me was the violence of Oliver's reaction. The way he whirled around at William, breaking the science fair project as he did, wasn't simply frustration. It was rage. We haven't seen this level of rage from Oliver in an extremely long time. Even in his fight with Diggle, he tempered his anger and fought defensively during the brawl.

Oliver has a temper. It's a fact of his personality. Nearly every person in Oliver's life has been on the receiving end of it at one point or another - including Felicity. However, Oliver has directed a violent reaction to those who can physically take him on - Diggle, Roy, Rene and Dinah.

Oliver has always been calculated, even to a certain extent controlled, as to who he responds physically to in anger. He has NEVER reacted violently against those he views as physically defenseless against him. 

His physical altercation with Thea was defensive even though Thea can kick his ass. He never took Laurel on even after she became BC and I know there were times he just wanted to lay her flat on her ass. The only real exception was when he confronted Moira as the Green Arrow, but she shot him so we see how that went.

There is only one time I can recall Oliver using his body in a physically threatening way against Felicity. Although, there was so much sexual tension I often wonder if he just used the moment to get up in her bubble and enjoy a little physical proximity. Regardless, there's a reason the first time Oliver Queen got in Felicity's Smoak's face was the last time. SHE was the one who put HIM down hard. Strength doesn't have to equate to the physical kind. Felicity Smoak is Oliver's match in every way. She puts his alpha male ass in its place every time he's ever tried to pull this nonsense with her, which is why it only happened once. Any time after was often in defense of others. Felicity always makes Oliver back down.

But this moment is different. The hair trigger rage we often saw in the early seasons of Arrow has returned and Oliver directed it at his son, a defenseless child. There's no excuse for it. Yet, Felicity's reaction is no different than the one we saw in 1x15. 

She steps from behind the counter and defensively approaches Oliver with so much speed and protectiveness over William he is the one who immediately backs away. 

Source:  mingrose

The movement immediately forces Oliver to turn his attention away from William and direct it to Felicity. It's essentially Felicity putting her body between William and Oliver. That said, she always uses her anger and strength to deescalate the situation. Felicity essentially puts Oliver in a time out by kicking him out of the apartment and rightfully so.

So, obviously we are supposed to be asking what the hell is wrong with Oliver? Diggle's words are supposed to haunt us. Perhaps Oliver hasn't changed after all.

Oliver descends to his bunker of solitude. He's obsessively watching the video feed of white noise on a loop, so he's in a super healthy space.

The scrambling of the video and the white noise in between is symbolic for what's happening in Oliver's mind. He's on a loop of white noise that he can't figure his way out of.

There's a knock at the bunker door and this should have immediately tipped everyone off to something being amiss. Why would Felicity knock? When Oliver turns around she just appears. Out of nowhere she's standing behind him. He's startled and Felicity wonders why. Oliver tries to explain what he heard, but can't. The knock had a pounding, distant, echoing sound to it. Like someone trying to open a tightly shut door closed long ago. It's the sound of Oliver's past beating it's way open. He just doesn't know it yet.

Felicity has her arms tightly crossed and keeps her distance from Oliver. He immediately tries to explain what happened, but again he can't because Oliver doesn't understand it himself. He doesn't know why he lost it on William other than things are beginning to pile up.

That's as far as he gets. Felicity coldly and resolutely tells Oliver they should take some space. Oliver is heartbreakingly confused until he looks down at Felicity's crossed arms and realizes she took her ring off. 

Source:  oliverfelicitygifs

The devastation rapidly begins to overtake his confusion, but even then this has to be a joke right? 

Oliver almost laughs until he realizes it’s not. Then he becomes helpless as his world begins to crumble.

Source: @olivergifs​

Felicity tells Oliver he crossed a line with William. A line he should never cross.

Felicity asking Oliver for a separation sounds like a protective measure for William, but it still doesn't make sense. It's a 180 degree turn. It's too fast. Too abrupt. If you are still harboring PTSD from the Olicity break up in Season 4, and particularly if you read cast interviews previewing the episode, it's understandable why this scene would be extremely alarming. For some, I am sure it was confirmation of a deeply rooted fear Arrow is going to divorce Olicity soon after they married them. This is just another stop in the never ending "will they/won't they" ride.

But there is something in Felicity's speech to Oliver that should have tipped you off something else was going on.

No matter how disappointed or angry Felicity is with Oliver this is simply not something she would ever say under any circumstance. Felicity never believed, not even for a second, that Oliver was the violent, rage filled, monster he tried to portray himself as and believed himself to be. And that's the key right there. This is something OLIVER would say. 

William discovering the monster within is a deep rooted fear of Oliver's - not Felicity’s. She never believed the monster existed. 

When Felicity looks at Oliver all she has ever seen is a man with a deeply good heart. Felicity always saw the light within Oliver, even when he could not see it himself. Especially when Oliver couldn't see it. 

Felicity has admitted she fell in love with Oliver the first moment she met him because of what she saw. Her love is rooted in that belief.

That's not to say Felicity's belief in Oliver's goodness has not been challenged over the years. Particularly when Oliver was doing everything he could to make Felicity believe the monster was real and he was beyond change. Yet, time and again she saw through the facade of darkness to the truth - the light within.

Oliver has "killed" Felicity via LOA gas and shattered their life together with a lie that seemed almost impossible to forgive. I'm not saying yelling at William and shattering cloned cabbage wasn't bad, but I wouldn't rank it in the top ten worst things Oliver Queen has ever done. Let's remember she fell in love with him when he had a penchant for breaking necks. All I'm saying is, Felicity has a high threshold for Oliver Queen darkness.

Source:  oliverfelicitygifs

So, surgically cutting the cord on their marriage like this feels offs. Extremely off. It is Oliver who fears William will learn of his father's darker side. Not Felicity. Felicity confirming Oliver's worst fear, that he is truly a monster, doesn't sound like her voice. It sounds like Oliver's voice.

Now would be a real good time to remember Diaz and BS maniacally laughing over their last vile of Vertigo at the end of last week's episode. Although, I will give Arrow kudos. They did their level best to fool everyone with the way they cut this episode together.

Source: @olivergifs​

The knocking returns after a heart to heart with Lance. This time it is louder and more insistent. Oliver cannot ignore it. Instinctively he picks up a gun, walks to the elevator doors as they open 

Source: leraswift13

and there stands Adrian Chase. 

Prommy is back to play mind games! TIME FOR SOME CRAZY!!!!

Oliver doesn't understand how Adrian can still be alive because, ya know, bullet to the brain. Adrian's response is basically, "It's Arrow man.. Didn't you fall off a mountain once? Nobody ever really dies."

Now, I know Oliver is trippin on the light fantastic, but that's some solid logic under Vertigo. I give him credit. Prometheus still scares the ever loving crap out of me and the ensuing battle with Oliver is more exciting than all the villains combined this season. I miss you Josh Seggara. Please come back.

Oliver holds Adrian in the same neck hold in 5x23. He dares Oliver to do it and once again we see the moral struggle tearing Oliver apart. He fights the urge once more, but then Adrian reminds him that his mercy cost the mother of his child her life. Oliver snaps when Adrian threatens William and Felicity once again. He snaps his neck. 

Source: @olivergifs​

Sparing Adrian's life was a moment of triumph for Oliver in Season 5. It was proof to Oliver that he was not the man Adrian Chase accused him of being. He knew the threat Adrian posed, but taking his life would simply be confirmation Oliver was a monster. Killing Adrian Chase would be proving him right.

If Oliver killed Adrian the island would have exploded and everyone, including Oliver, would have died. His mercy didn't stop Adrian from killing himself and ultimately killing Samantha, but that choice was Adrian's. Not Oliver's. There was no avenue Oliver could choose that would not result in the spilling of innocent blood. It is why Adrian Chase is so diabolically evil. Yet, Oliver still harbors guilt over Samantha. Particularly since Diggle used her death as a knife to twist in his back. He still believes there's a way he could have saved everyone, which is the curse of being a hero. The God Complex is often more crippling than any villain.

If you didn't figure out Oliver is hallucinating by the time Adrian pops up alive again, then I can't help you my friend. But if it helps Oliver figures it out and tells everybody what's going on.

Source: @olivergifs​

Hallucinating Adrian Chase is the pitch perfect choice to show the manifestation of Oliver's fears. Refresher course - this is what Vertigo does. It really makes you wonder why anyone willing takes this drug if all you get from the high is seeing your deepest fears become real. Can't say that's a party favor I'd be interested in partaking in.

Oliver Queen essentially created Prometheus, so therefore Adrian Chase represented Oliver's darker half. Prometheus is what Oliver could have become if he never met John Diggle and Felicity Smoak. He was Arrow's most effective villain because he was a living confirmation of everything Oliver feared he was.

I give you The Adrian Chase As Oliver Queen's Inner Voice highlights:

Adrian: I always was the one person who saw you for the murderer you are. What are you doing? Oh you are running a blood test. you think you've been dosed with something. You know there is another explanation. A more likely one in my considered opinion. You're finally going crazy. It's completely understandable, Ollie. You've lost everything, even the people I couldn't manage to take from you. I really like this Ricardo Diaz. If he didn't exist I'd have to think of him myself. He's going about this exactly right. Don't hurt the people that you love. Just get them all to abandon you. It's actually the easiest thing in the world. I told you this Ollie. I told you this man! Everything you touch dies. What you're going through right now, losing your team, your wife, the impeachment, all of it is happening just like I told you it would. And nothing in that blood test is gonna change that.

Adrian: It's tough to say you're in a good place when your oldest friend leaves you high and dry.

Oliver: John made his choice.

Adrian: And deep down you know he's right. You've changed Oliver. Sure, maybe you are a better Oliver Queen. A happier Oliver Queen. But it has sure made you a worse hero. You have a wife, son, you're the mayor - all of which yes may be going away, but still it's a fair assumption. You are stretched too thin buddy. Maybe you've gotten so good at being Oliver Queen that the Green Arrow's mission is suffering. You may be happier, but the people that you love - they're not.

Yes, I typed that all out because every line is gold.

Source: dctvgifs

It's very difficult to watch Oliver's brain beat the shit out of him so effectively. Stay strong my son!

In a nice reverse from 3x01, Oliver and the Arrow come face to face once again. Only it's not Oliver Queen who is the villain. It's the Arrow. 

For those wondering haven't we déjà'd this vu already, the answer is yes. But the point is to show the flip. Oliver isn't afraid of being Oliver Queen anymore. His fear has shifted into something else entirely. Oliver is afraid being Oliver Queen isn't enough.

He's become everything John and Felicity believed he could be. Oliver has embraced his humanity and in doing so has become a better friend, lover and father. He is actively trying to save the city during the day and in the night. Oliver is trying to be everything to everyone all the time. And yet everything is falling apart. Oliver is still losing everyone he loves. He is still all alone.

It's one thing to be afraid of embracing his humanity. It's another for Oliver to realize even when he does he still falls short. The city is still in shambles, people he loves still die, his team betrayed him, his best friend, wife and son left him and Star City is intent on taking not only his job, but his freedom. And it all happened when Oliver was being the very best version of himself.  

Oliver compartmentalized himself because he feared if he merged the two personas then all that would remain is a monster. 

It took a very long time, 

and facing the absolute worst in himself, to realize there is a good man 

under the mask. 

However, now Oliver has combined those two personas and yet nothing is getting better. Trying to be everything to everyone and yet still not feeling like enough is crushing.

It's almost more comforting to believe he hasn't changed at all - that Oliver can understand. If Oliver Queen "the hero" is simply a facade, and the monster who fails and alienates everyone while leaving a trail of bodies in his wake still remains, then this all makes sense. As much as it terrifies Oliver, he can understand why everyone has finally left him.

Oliver chose to stop hiding from love. 

It is the bond that tethers him to his humanity and what allows the light to break through all the pain, loss and trauma. He has chosen to love with everything he has, and to his horror, it's not enough. His love for his city is not enough. 

Source: @olivergifs​

His love for his team is not enough. 

His love for his brother is not enough. 

His love for his son is not enough. 

His love for his wife is not enough.

Source:  feilcityqueen

This is a different ballgame. It's not a repeat of Season 4. Oliver tried being his best self and FAILED. 

Season 6 he succeeded, but it did not create any different result. 

It's a confirmation of his worst fear. Any version of Oliver Queen is alienating. Any version of Oliver Queen is a failure.  

Oliver always had the mask to blame. He always had the monster to hide behind as the reason why everything he touches he destroys. 

But that's gone now. 

He conquered his demons. 

So, all he's left with is Oliver Queen, but he is incapable of building anything. 

He will never be the man he wants to be, the man Oliver promised his father he would be, because that man still falls spectacularly short. That's almost a fate worse than death for Oliver. We've asked Oliver to try for six years. He did. He failed. So now what?

Source: @olivergifs

The only conclusion Oliver can come to is... he was right all along. The monster and the man are one in the same. Oliver will never escape the darkness because he is darkness. Whatever light he has is ultimately powerless to overshadow it.

So, suffice it to say Oliver is spiraling down the insanity hole. The drug is taking a stronger hold on him. He can no longer distinguish the lies from the truth. If he was right all along then the only option is to shut Oliver Queen down again. He lost sight of the mission and losing everything even as Oliver Queen proves to him that the mission is all that matters. He has become the mask and only the mask. The only way he can truly serve it is the way he originally intended. Alone and as the Arrow - the conduit for the darkness within.

If you think Oliver is off his rocker then you'd be right. HE'S ON VERTIGO. He's supposed to be off his rocker. None of this is right. Our boy is so many levels of wrong it'd take me another six years to explain all of them.

Oliver decides this is still a really excellent time to make decisions that will absolutely impact his ability to live as a free man. 

Oliver hands over the evidence because it's the only card he has to play to stop the impeachment.

AND QUENTIN LET’S HIM! For the love of God man don't hand Oliver the bullet and help him load the gun! Tackle him. HE IS HIGH AS A KITE. This is not the time we allow Oliver to make decisions. This is the time we tie him to a chair!

Then, Adrian/Oliver convinces himself to go after Diaz.

Adrian: The only way to prove you are the hero you say that you are and keep being mayor is to take down Diaz tonight.

The way Chase uses his finger as a gun to Oliver's head when he says, "I'm in here" sends chills down my spine. It's a striking parallel to the last image we saw of Prometheus. 

Adrian always believed Oliver would be the hand causing his own destruction and we are alarmingly close to him being right. Even closer than we were in Season 5.

Source:  oliverxfelicity

Felicity and William return from the science fair and her purse starts beeping. Felicity has a GPS on Oliver's bow because that's the smart thing to do when he's fighting crime every night. So the newbies can pass me with their royal indignation. Don't want to get dead? Then get okay with trackers dipshits!

Enough of this hallucination bullshit. Let's get down to what is REAL and TRUE. 

Felicity calls Quentin after Oliver doesn't pick up his cell and he fills her in on what's really going on.

Quentin: He said you kicked him out.

Felicity: No, I didn't. I would never!

For all those worried Arrow will eventually take another Season 4 route with Olicity, it’s time to let it go.

Arrow is not interested in will they/won't they with Olicity anymore. Admittedly, they drove that arc into the ground, but THIS episode is about the shift not only in Oliver and Felicity's relationship, but in the way Arrow views it.

Yes, they are going to have angst. Yes, they are going to face problems. Yes, they are going to fight. But none of this will break them apart. Their love is Arrow's anchor. It is what holds this show steady. 

The pattern is the same Every. Single. Year. We get snip its of Olicity scenes punctuated by big episodes. 6x18 is a big episode with a big purpose. Arrow played on the audience's fears and insecurities with the promo and cast interviews, because they are Oliver's fears and insecurities too. The show is giving Oliver and the audience one last scare (because it's a television show and that's what television shows do), but now it's time to get down to business. Now it's time to deal in truth.

Oliver and Felicity are married. There are no more break ups. This is forever. PERIOD. Oliver will never leave Felicity and Felicity will never leave Oliver.

FUNDAMENTAL DEFINITION:

adjective

1. serving as, or being an essential part of, a foundation or basis; basic; underlying: fundamental principles; the fundamental structure.

2. of, relating to, or affecting the foundation or basis: a fundamental revision.

3. being an original or primary source: a fundamental idea.

noun

5. a basic principle, rule, law, or the like, that serves as the ground work of a system; essential part: to master the fundamentals of a trade.

There is a double meaning to the episode title. Yes, Oliver is returning to what he believes were the core “fundamentals” of the mission. However, Arrow is outright stating that the solidity of Olicity’s relationship is also a fundamental of the show. 

Still don't believe it? Well, then buckle up because Arrow is going to show you how true it is with what can only be called FANFICTION COME TO LIFE.

William, bless his pure soul, eavesdrops on Felicity's call and is all in on mission "Save Dad." 

Source:  dctvgifs 

He hands Felicity a pair of running shoes and holy mother of freaking crap I've never seen the show make this much sense! Felicity is wearing practical shoes in the field y'all!!!!!!!!! 

Quentin does his best to stop the beast, but he's no match for Oliver on a regular day. Oliver high on Vertigo and reverting back to the Arrow? Umm... no chance Quentin. Oliver knocks him out cold. A for effort though bud.

Source:  oliverfelicitygifs

Felicity channeling her inner B*rry All*n to save her batcrap crazy husband is a big mood. 

Source:  oliverfelicitygifs

Felicity saying she's going to save her husband is an even bigger mood. And Felicity saying the word husband is hotter than Oliver saying wife. I don't know why. 

This is not the first time Arrow has used Felicity to break through Oliver's delusion, 

but is the first time they've used such a direct approach. What follows is probably one of my all time favorite Olicity scenes - and that's saying something after being on the air for six years.

Source: feilcityqueen

Everything swimming in Oliver's mind is lies, so Felicity has to use the truth to break through. At first she tries using William because he used to be a hindrance to Oliver's willingness to sacrifice himself. However, even in the haze of crazy Oliver knows if he dies then William still has Felicity. He will never be alone. Typically, this should be a comforting line, and while it remains a beautiful commentary on the bond Felicity and William have formed, it is utterly terrifying to hear Oliver so willfully discard his own necessity in his son's life. And that's because of the lies in his mind. His love for his son is not enough. He is a monster. He is a failure. William will be better off.

So, Felicity uses another truth. It's the one she finally confessed to Oliver the day she asked him to marry her. The day all Oliver's dreams came true. Losing Oliver is Felicity's worst fear realized. Would he willingly do that to her? Will Oliver abandon her again?

Oliver believes he can't abandon what he doesn't have. Felicity left him first. Another hallucination Felicity can only combat with what is real.

Felicity calls Oliver baby. It's canon. 

I really wish I could sew worth a damn because I'd embroider "I'm glue, baby" on a pillow. Also, be prepared for me to abuse that gif in asks. Fair warning.

Source:  oliverfelicitygifs

Oliver hears her voice and the truth in her words. He desperately wants to believe she is real, but he is so terribly lost. Oliver cannot see what is real with his mind. So, Felicity tells him to feel with his heart instead.

From the moment Felicity Smoak entered Oliver's life she found a way to not only touch his heart, 

but to break it wide open. 

Felicity has found Oliver every moment he's been lost.  

Vertigo is not a challenge for Felicity Smoak. 

She found her way through Oliver's darkness and showed him the light within. 

He hears her words, feels the certainty of her love against his chest, 

and Oliver knows who he is again. 

Felicity's truth is the very beat of Oliver's heart.

Oliver reaches for Felicity's hand, holds her close, and lets the light guide him through the dark. Just like they've done before. 

Just like they will always do. 

Light can travel without end. It is infinite and so are Oliver and Felicity.

The relief Oliver feels is overwhelming and he smiles.  Just like that the Arrow fades and Oliver Queen returns.

Diaz gets impatient and decides to attack,  

Source:  oliverfelicitygifs

which means we get an old school Olicity stunt.

I am super chill about it.

Felicity offers Oliver a Vertigo cure all based off of her hard core partying days of the past. 

My kingdom to see Goth Felicity Smoak at a rave... high.

Quentin commends the bad assness that is Felicity Smoak while he recovers from his absolute trouncing.

All it takes is Felicity calling Oliver her man and he becomes a friggin rainbow. He is putty in her hands. 

Source: @oliverfelicitygifs​

I cannot even believe we are getting these lines.

There is so much eye sex in their trip down memory lane that I am convinced they took the Arrow suit home for their own special kind of spin. 

Source: @oliverfelicitygifs

You know Felicity has fantasized, so I think it's high time they make it a reality.

Oliver's high on crazy has given way to clarity. 

This is worrying given everything we've heard his brain say over the last hour. He's not completely throwing the baby out with the bath water. He remains committed to being a husband and father. He’d like to remain mayor, but finds out he's going to be impeached. Still, Oliver believes in the good he can do as the Green Arrow. However, he is reverting back to doing things alone.

Source:  dctvgifs

Felicity stresses what a colossally bad idea this is back at the apartment, but Oliver is determined to separate his worlds again.

Source:  oliverfelicitygifs

Lord, boy. It took us five bloody years to get you to this spot, one fight with Diggle and some bad crack, and we're right back to Compartmentalization Oliver.

Oliver regresses in some way every single season. It's always a mistake and it always reveals some greater lesson Oliver has to learn. Comparatively speaking, this is fairly late in the season for Oliver to be regressing which in and of itself shows some character growth. It probably means we'll be dealing with the consequences of this choice into the beginning of Season 7.

So, where do I think this road leading? The fundamental and inescapable truth is compartmentalization does not work. Oliver was on the right track merging his two selves. Quentin is right. Oliver is a better man, but everyone's reaction to it (fueled by their own issues) is throwing him off.  He will fail even as Oliver Queen and the Green Arrow, but that doesn't mean the path is wrong.

This road Oliver is about to travel alone is only going to lead to more problems. The season trajectory is pretty clearly moving from Oliver united with those he loves to Oliver separated from those he loves. My guess is prison. But I don't believe Oliver is the character who needs to change the most. My hope is watching Oliver travel this road alone, and still fighting to be the hero he is, will trigger change in the supporting characters. A fallen hero could stop all their childish nonsense and make everyone realize they have to stop blaming Oliver for everything and take responsibility for their own lives. I include Oliver in this as well. For better or worse, Oliver holds himself responsible for EVERYONE. And that's what he has to learn. Oliver is enough, but he cannot be everything.

Source: olivergifs

Quentin and Oliver

Quentin Lance is firmly wearing his Team Oliver hat this episode and it's a welcomed reprieve from his usual crazy pants talk.  I guess since Oliver is going insane Quentin had to sober up - mentally speaking.

The scenes between Oliver and Lance are some of their best all year if not the duration of the show. 

Source: @olivergifs

Oliver is still a young man trying to make his way through the world. The fact that he's also an orphan seems magnified now that Thea and Diggle have left him. Captain Lance, bless his soul, steps up into the father figure role Oliver desperately needs right now.

Oliver tells Lance Diggle quit the team and blames Oliver for its disintegration. Lance is quick to defend Oliver, who to his credit, does remind Quentin he's not there to witness Oliver's leadership style.

Source: @olivergifs

STANDING. FUCKING. OVATION. 

A supporting character is talking sense y'all! 

And it's LANCE. Did not see that coming given his trajectory this season. He's spot on. What Oliver has wanted more than anything from Quentin Lance is his respect and he has it. Oliver earned it with six years of hard work and NOBODY gets to take that away from him. Not even John Diggle.

Oliver calls Lance to give him the evidence that clears him of impeachment but incriminates him as the Green Arrow. Quentin asks what Oliver is going to do and he answers helplessly, "I don't know." He tearfully tells Lance that Felicity wants a separation and that he lost his temper with William. Oliver is as lost, alone and heartbroken as we've ever seen him. Quentin accurately points out that losing his shiznit on William is more of a night on the couch punishment and a separation is extreme. Ummm.... YEAH. 

But Oliver simply believes Felicity has left him like everyone else. UGH.

Source: @olivergifs

This might be one of the most heartbreaking lines Oliver Queen has ever spoken

and again shows how much he's grown. The old Oliver would simply shut down and solider on. The fact that he's allowing himself to feel this pain and question where everything went wrong shows Oliver embracing his humanity rather than hide from it.

Quentin has probably the best answer and gives the most insight into what is going on with all the people in Oliver's life - particularly John Diggle.

Source:  clevercloudpoetry

Can I get an amen? 

This is as close as Arrow has come to confirming my suspicions about John Diggle. Oliver becoming a better man means he doesn't need John in the same way. That's incredibly painful for Diggle and would certainly cause him to question his life and purpose.

I am the youngest of three girls. My parents sold my childhood home when I graduated from high school and moved away to college. My father was anxious to move out of our increasingly violent area, but my mother had other motivations. She told me the house made her sad. Every where she looked was another memory of raising her babies and now we were all moved out. We didn't need her in the same way anymore and it hurt. My mother needed a fresh start - a new purpose. The new house was really good for her and allowed her to shift into the new phase of life with my father more easily.

Oliver has grown up and moved away to college for lack of a better word. Everywhere John Diggle looks on Team Arrow is another memory and a stark reminder that he's no longer needed in the same way he once was.  He's looking for a fresh start and a new purpose. John needs something beyond raising Oliver Queen the same way my mother needed something beyond raising her children. Unfortunately, Diggle hasn't dug deep into any of this yet. Instead of some self reflection, John has relied on an old standby to explain his rudderless direction - it is all Oliver Queen's fault.  John believes this is a stagnancy in Oliver's growth, and not his own, when in fact the direct opposite is true.

What has not changed is the power of Diggle's words and the impact they have on Oliver. He acknowledges what Quentin says might be true, but also fears Diggle may be right - that he hasn't changed at all. Quentin delivers another humdinger of a line:

"Come on. I don't buy that. From what you've told me about John and Curtis and all those guys - they've got their own issues alright? They're just putting them on you."

Hello Quentin Lance. I have missed you.

Source: @oliverfelicitygifs

Oliver's voice breaks when he asks Quentin about Felicity, but Lance is unwavering. He adamantly reassures Oliver that Felicity loves him and this will all blow over eventually. He just needs to stay the course and Quentin will be by his side. Robert and Moira Queen could not have done any better and I have never loved Quentin Lance more than in this moment.

While this speech gives me all the feels it also fills me with dreaded certainty. Lance is reminiscing about the past. He's admiring how far Oliver has come and is basically the perfect father figure. These signs tend to point to full character evolution. We are on episode 18. This means one thing:

Quentin Lance is going to die.

Just mentally prepare okay? His character arc has circled the drain all season with this "BS is my daughter" crazy. Now he's done a 180 by embracing sanity and offering wise and sage advice for Oliver. You know who else offered sage advice to Oliver just before their deaths?

Sara.

L*urel.

Sageyness is one of the seven signs of impending death on Arrow. Particularly when it comes to Lances. Prepare your souls.

Oliver and L*urel

Speaking of L*urel, we are paid a visit from Oliver's departed ex when he hallucinates his way back into the Queen Mansion (I miss the mansion y'all). There is L*urel, 

Source:  supercanaries

wearing her Red Coat of Pain.

Since Oliver's deepest fears often equate to his deepest guilt then seeing L*urel at her most innocent, before she knew about Oliver's cheating and the consequences for all parties involved that it unleashed, is not surprising. 

Source:  katie-mcgraths

In some ways, Oliver kept L*urel frozen in this time even when she was alive. The image of who Oliver saw L*urel as, eternally innocent and broken by his deceit, never quite matched up to the woman we saw on screen. Particularly when Arrow went above and beyond to show L*urel was anything but innocent.

Sara: Do you remember when you spilled that beer on me at Tommy’s party? Well, I wasn’t even supposed to go. But I snuck out out of the house because I knew you were gonna be there. And I had this embarassing crush on you. And, Laurel she knew it. And that’s why the party got broken up by the cops. She tipped off our dad. Then I was grounded for a month and the next thing I knew... you and Laurel were together.

Oliver: You think she did all of that on purpose?

Sara: Not everybody is what they seem.

L*urel was not broken by Oliver's deceit, but by her own anger.

What's important to remember is this isn't Adrian's voice we're hearing. This is Oliver. So everything Adrian is saying is what OLIVER believes. 

How he really feels about L*urel becoming the BC is not a pretty picture.

Adrian: My question is why did you let her become the Bl*ck C*n*ry in the first place? She's a lawyer. What, after a couple self defense classes and a few sparring sessions you think she's ready to go handle thugs and killers?

I mean... he's not wrong. 

It's refreshing to actually HEAR Arrow admit to the unbelievability of L*urel's training. Yeah yeah, I know she trained with a boxer/vigilante for a couple episodes. Somehow that's supposed to equate to the years Oliver spent training with martial arts experts, an ASIS agent, a highly skilled and lethal Russian mob organization, and an elite member of the League of Assassins. Or the years Sara trained with the League of Assassins. At least they gave Thea six months of intensive training with Malcolm Merlyn, who was also trained by the LOA. 

Oh that's right. She trained with Nyssa too. For three episodes (that we saw). L*urel was barely able to stop a knife attack in 3x21 (after supposedly training with Nyssa for several weeks) and then suddenly she's taking several armed LOA members down in 3x22. But you bet, totally believable arc. Made total sense.

Oliver harbors serious guilt over L*urel's death and this hallucination is simply a manifestation of that. There are truths, but also a hefty dose of lies. 

Source:  supercanaries

The primarily lie being Oliver believing he could have stopped L*urel from becoming BC, or is responsible for the life she chose, or her death in any way. The truth is Oliver wasn't supportive of LL becoming BC and he did everything he could to stop her. 

In fact he told L*urel, to her face, he thought she was a liability, a loose cannon in the field, and was going to get herself killed one day.

And he was fucking right.

Oliver begrudgingly accepted her decision, but that was primarily because Diggle and Felicity illogically had L*urel’s back. 

JOHN DIGGLE IS A SPECIAL FORCES SOLIDER AND HE SIGNED OFF ON LL IN THE FIELD WITH NO TRAINING AT ALL. AGAIN, MAKES TOTAL SENSE SHOW.

Quite frankly, Oliver had bigger fish to fry in Season 3 and he had to move on. 

 After L*urel resurrected Sara in Season 4, who then tried to kill Thea and put her in the hospital, she threw another "it's all about me" bitch fit 

and Oliver folded. 

He helped get Sara's soul back and all of their issues were swept under the rug. 

Then Arrow killed L*urel.

So, listen buddy.  Sure, L*urel eventually worked her way to capable, but to be frank you had very little to do with it and THAT'S where the guilt comes from. The sparring sessions you speak of only took place a few episodes before she died. This is Oliver's God Complex rearing his ugly head again. Maybe if he trained L*urel more (or at all), maybe if he protected her better in the field, maybe if he found a way to keep her out of the field entirely - then she would be still be alive.

Nope. Sorry fella. None of that would have worked, because L*urel was L*urel and she was gonna do what she damn well pleased. Never mind the fact that Damien Darhk magically froze the team and they were all essentially defenseless when he killed her, but that's just details. Oliver thinking he is somehow responsible for her death in any way takes away from the legitimate heroism L*urel earned. 

He understood that in Season 4, but he's pretty high right now. So, I'll give him a pass this time.

Legit question though. If you are a LL fan - why are you still watching Arrow? 

I am curious, because I have never seen a show so willingly shade their own creation at every turn like Arrow does with LL.  They flat out called her BC arc a bunch of illogical nonsense. 

I appreciate the brutal honesty from the show, but it's a zing that packs some punch. After six years of this aren't y'all tired? A few interspersed scenes of Bl*ck S*ren should as hell wouldn't keep me around.

Straight Thoughts

I've never felt so spiritually connected to Felicity Smoak in all my life. Source: felicitysmoakgifs

I appreciated that Arrow used a flashback during Oliver's hallucination with Rene to show his injury was not remotely Oliver's fault. I like when my show talks sense.

Oliver's hallucination of the newbies was the most accurate. They are petty babies in real life too.

Adrian's scar on his temple from the bullet wound is unnerving.

Don't ever kill Raisa again, show. My heart can't take it. Not even when it's fake.

"I always wondered why nobody just does that. Kill you straight." Diaz needs to watch Season 3. See how that option goes.  Source: dctvgifs

"Not a great track record when it comes to hiring DA's though." Of all of Adrian Chases' lines are fab, but this is my fave.

This evil cupcake.  Source:  olivergifs

"He's buying us expensive gifts if he knows what's good for him." Felicity wifes like I wife.

I love this kid. Source:  olivergifs

Arrow wisely previewed an Olicity kiss for the all villain ep this week. 

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 6x18 gifs credited.

[fictionerd]

Backlog Post: MG Spec-Ops Asuka Ep 4

Good to see you, friends!

I’m glad you stopped by. You see I think I’ve uncovered the secret as to why I’m so torn on this series, particularly in the writing department.

That’s right, Squeenix is involved. Don’t get me wrong I like a fair few of the Final Fantasy games. I really need to finish Bravely Default one day, and FMA is one of the godfathers of anime, but we all have to admit that Squeenix has a troubled history with good stories. Granted, they’re just the manga publishers so it’s not like they’re directly responsible for the writing, but the fact that their name is attached to a product where I’m iffy on the writing just makes too much sense to me.

Now at this point you may be wondering, “Fic, don’t you research the shows you plan to watch?”

To which I can only respond: “I’m a dragon living in an extra-dimensional library in need of occasional maintenance or else other realities start bleeding in,” followed swiftly by, “Of course I do research on the shows I want to watch. Would you like to see that research?”

And that’s how I came to watch Magical Girl Spec-Ops Asuka.

Synopsis: This episode is basically all about the world-plot all the time. Even in so far as the character plot is concerned so no extra synopsis this week. Essentially we pick up where we left off with Sporty having been kidnapped by the Babel Brigands. Things seem like they’re going to get right down to the action, but first we get a flash-back nightmare sequence!

[Cue Wayne’s World Flashback transition]

During the war Magical girl’s actually died. Including the original leader of the Magical Girl team who was named Francine. She actually died in Asuka’s arms since the group hadn’t found her in time for Stalker Nurse to do anything to help. She told Asuka to take over the team and remember that no matter how much horrible shit is in this world it also has beautiful things in it. It’s a really touching scene… Too bad the show doesn’t remember the “there are beautiful things too” bit.

[Flash forward]

So, you want to know what the response of the Police Brass’s response to the kidnapping of a high-ranking officer’s daughter happens to be? What with all the Magical nonsense going on and all you’d think maybe they’d have a response team for this sort of thing. Or maybe they’d open communication with the offending party and offer an exchange of hostages seeing as Mophead Mcterrorist is still kicking around. Or, you know, anything? They are Police even if they do have a different name. I presume they’re still there to protect and serve in some capacity even if that idea isn’t associated with the Japanese police the same way it is in the states. No, that’s not what happens at all.

When the concerned father comes to his superior about the situation concerning his kidnapped daughter what does she tell him?

Allow me to elaborate just a bit. Boss-lady here tells Sporty’s dad that they can’t go up against Mophead’s organization because of the risk they have more killer mascot kaiju which, fair enough, that makes sense. However, she then goes on to say that they can’t go running to the JSDF for help because this is too small an issue. BUT if they let this man’s DAUGHTER DIE then they can get a massive budget from the government which should somehow allow them to overcome giant killer plush-toys.

NO! BAD SHOW! You JUST got done telling us there was beauty in the world worth defending. Oh, right, my mistake you DIDN’T get done telling us that I skipped ahead a bit. No what really followed on the heels of the PTSDream was a scene of Sporty all trussed up while “I need Scissors 61” talks about ‘grilled meat’ a whole lot, and basically works to creep Sporty the fuck out.

Back to the failure of Bureaucracy: At the same time or very nearly to the meeting at the police headquarters, Asuka is being told about the situation and how the Police won’t be intervening. She asks what the super-special-magic combat squad for the SDF is going to do and Cyborg Dude’s all like, “Nothing we can’t act without a police request. BUT if a magical girl were to JUST HAPPEN to SHOW UP OF HER OWN VOLITION and a MAGICAL FIGHT were to break out then the incident might escalate to a point where we would be called on to intervene. HINT. HINT.”

So Asuka and Stalker Nurse say they’re going to head out and OH YEAH this is what I’m talking about. Give us half an epis-

What?

What!?

WHAT!?

Oh yes, friends, we get to spend 4-5 minutes of the episode in the basement with Heckel, Jeckel, “I need scissors 61”, while Sporty is tortured. I suppose I should be fair and say that a large portion of that time is filled with exposition on the villains. The most important tidbit being that this whole operation was aimed at luring out magical girls to take one captive in order to create what ‘I need scissors 61’ calls “A Girl of Mass Destruction”. HOWEVER, we’re still getting all this information while Sporty is stripped down to her… Sporty wear, tied to a wooden horse, and BEING FUCKING TORTURED! Even if it is in small bursts it’s still freaking chilling.

So yeah, we don’t get half an episode of the Magical Girls kicking terrorist ass to rescue their friend. Instead we get to see them take down a grand total of one doorknob, one wire trap, and three guards before they get to the trussed up Sporty.

‘I need scissors 61’ is all like, “Hello my dears I’ll be your transparently evil sadist for the evening. By the way I hope all the bondage and guro fetishists in the audience are getting off on what, for them, must amount to softcore.”

Asuka’s fires back with, “Okay, dirtbag, let our friend go and I won’t kill your ass then send the rest of you to kiss it in hell.”

“Let her go,” Says Scissor-bitch, “Why certainly.”

And she CUTS OFF SPORTY’S LEFT ARM! What grinds my gears the most is that she even makes the stupid fake-cutesy. “Woops I totally meant to cut the chains and missed. Tee-hee.”

So official psycho bitch orders the magical girls to put down their weapons or she’ll straight up decapitate the hostage, and at this point I’m SO happy that these are Magical Girls and not gritty Nineties military characters who would be like “go ahead, princess, make my day”. So Asuka makes a show of dropping her Karambit…. At which point the pair proceed to kick ass. Kurumi fires the massive needle-point on her primary weapon through ‘I need scissors 61’s shoulder pinning her to the wall and through a combination of swift action and a magical flashbang theys coop up Sporty sans one arm and make their getaway.

Naturally Runs-With-Scissors is pissed so she and the Ruski’s (Oh yeah the two people helping her torture an adolescent girl are Russian Mercenary Sorcerers) go and chase after the fleeing magical girls. Asuka stayed behind to try and hold them off, but of course Scissor-girl sics the Ruskis on her and chases after War Nurse on her own. We get a teensy bit more action and expository dialouge and that’s where the episode ends. Now I’ve got some serious…

Thoughts: Now to devil’s advocate it’s not wholly inappropriate that the torture scene take place. I’m bringing prejudice to the table based on what I expect out of a usual Magical Girl Show which is made for a MUCH DIFFERENT target demographic. Honestly along with more fanservice one should go into a Seinen show expecting more grim or edgy aspects to take the forefront. My problem is that those sorts of aspects don’t necessarily make a show more mature.

I guess I’ll never get over it, but Madoka was a perfectly mature take on the Magical Girl template that didn’t need a lot of edgy gory content or blatant spank material. This show seems to not know what the audience for it would want. I came into this thinking “Military Magical Girls in a series whose rating might allow them to actually show the horrors of war? That seems neat.” What I got was a post-war series that doesn’t seem to know if it wants to be about the trauma endured by what effectively child soldiers; a story about a war hero fighting to live a somewhat normal live while realizing the responsibility they have to keep fighting the good fight; pandering to the various circles who would find under-dressed young women attractive; softcore fetish porn; or any of a number of other things.

At the end of the day what did the torture scene serve? What purpose did it have? Was it important to the narrative that we see it? No… No it wasn’t. All it did was show us that one of the Ruski’s has a water Persona and the other likes to heat metal implements and is referred to as a chef. These are things that could have been exposited in combat, and I get that’s more a shounen thing but it doesn’t make the point any less valid. As for the explanation of what Babelfish wanted a Magical Girl for they could have moved that up to when Scissor-girl was tormenting Sporty with grilled meat earlier, or moved back to the classic villainous monologue after our heroes had arrived. If there had been even an iota of reason for the torture scene. Then I probably wouldn’t be this mad, because strong emotional reactions are what I look for to see if a piece of media is doing its job well. Getting angry at a story doesn’t immediately indicate that it’s bad. It’s when you’re mad for reasons other than those specifically written that we have a problem.

I didn’t see the torture scene this episode and think “Those monsters! I want to wring their necks!”

… Okay yes I did, but the problem is that I also asked a question: “Why is this here?”

Having a villain do an evil thing because they are wicked makes sense. SHOWING us them doing said evil thing has to have a narrative reason beyond just “Oh they’re the evil villain!”

Okay… I think I’m starting to repeat myself on that point so let’s talk about the other concern I have. The Flashback PTSDream implies that Asuka is driven to fight by the fact that despite how bad things can be there are still things worth protecting in the world. The problem, as I said in the synopsis, is that the show seems to have missed the memo on that. On the contrary the world is a place where young women get kidnapped and tortured, war heroes can’t get a good night’s sleep, and even the people who SHOULD be the good guys come across as evil schemers.

I know I skipped over the fact that the Police Lady and Cyborg-Scarface were actively manipulating Asuka and Stalker-Nurse into action, but so far as Sporty’s dad knows his boss is someone who’s willing to sacrifice a subordinate’s daughter to get a BUDGET BUMP!

If you’re going to stand on the premise that there are things worth protecting in the world you need to actually SHOW US THOSE THINGS!

“But, Fic, There’s Sporty and Bookish! They’re worth protecting!”

Yes, how very astute. Innocents ARE worth protecting. However, what about the WORLD makes it worth the Magical Girls’ efforts? Where is the beauty that Francine loved? We should have seen at least a sliver of it in this episode.

[Sigh] I stepped away from this post for a while to clear my head and I can’t come up with a positive note to end on. Oh well. I suppose we’ll just have to look forward to other things. Hopefully the future of this show will balance things out, but I know I’ll have fun digging my claws into it regardless.

That said: Until next post keep talking fiction, friends! I’ll see you soon.

P.S.: This week’s Spec-Ops will be posted later this evening. I need to take some time to myself first.

[because-its-important]

what’s the most annoying question to ask a nun* in 1967?

tl;dr - In 1967, a very long survey was administered to nearly 140,000 American women in Catholic ministry. I wrote this script, which makes the survey data work-ready and satisfies a very silly initial inquiry: Which survey question did the sisters find most annoying?

* The study participants are never referred to as nuns, so I kind of suspect that not all sisters are nuns, but I couldn't find a definitive answer about this during a brief search. 'Nun' seemed like an efficient shorthand for purposes of an already long title, but if this is wrong please holler at me!

During my first week at Recurse I made a quick game using a new language and a new toolset. Making a game on my own had been a long-running item on my list of arbitrary-but-personally-meaningful goals, so being able to cross it off felt pretty good! 

Another such goal I’ve had for a while goes something like this: “Develop the skills to be able to find a compelling data set, ask some questions, and share the results.” As such, I spent last week familiarizing myself with Python 🐍, selecting a fun dataset, prepping it for analysis, and indulging my curiosity.

the process

On recommendation from Robert Schuessler, another Recurser in my batch, I read through the first ten chapters in Python Crash Course and did the data analysis project. This section takes you through comparing time series data using weather reports for two different locations, then through plotting country populations on a world map.

During data analysis study group, Robert suggested that we find a few datasets and write scripts to get them ready to work with as a sample starter-pack for the group. Jeremy Singer-Vines’ collection of esoteric datasets, Data Is Plural, came to mind immediately. I was super excited to finally have an excuse to pour through it and eagerly set about picking a real mixed bag of 6 different data sets.

One of those datasets was The Sister Survey, a huge, one-of-its-kind collection of data on the opinions of American Catholic sisters about religious life. When I read the first question, I was hooked. 

“It seems to me that all our concepts of God and His activity are to some degree historically and culturally conditioned, and therefore we must always be open to new ways of approaching Him.” 

I decided I wanted to start with this survey and spend enough time with it to answer at least one easy question. A quick skim of the Questions and Responses file showed that of the multiple choice answer options, a recurring one was: “The statement is so annoying to me that I cannot answer.” 

I thought this was a pretty funny option, especially given that participants were already tolerant enough to take such an enormous survey! How many questions can one answer before any question is too annoying to answer? 🤔 I decided it’d be fairly simple to find the most annoying question, so I started there. 

I discovered pretty quickly that while the survey responses are in a large yet blessedly simple csv, the file with the question and answers key is just a big ole plain text. My solution was to regex through every line in the txt file and build out a survey_key dict that holds the question text and another dict of the set of possible answers for each question. This works pretty well, though I’ve spotted at least one instance where the txt file is inconsistently formatted and therefore breaks answer retrieval.

Next, I ran over each question in the survey, counted how many responses include the phrase “so annoying” and selected the question with the highest count of matching responses.

the most annoying question

Turns out it’s this one! The survey asks participants to indicate whether they agree or disagree with the following statement:

“Christian virginity goes all the way along a road on which marriage stops half way.”

3702 sisters (3%) responded that they found the statement too annoying to answer. The most popular answer was No at 56% of respondents. 

I’m not really sure how to interpret this question! So far I have two running theories about the responses:

The survey participants were also confused and boy, being confused is annoying!

The sisters generally weren’t down for claiming superiority over other women on the basis of their marital-sexual status.

Both of these interpretations align suspiciously well with my own opinions on the matter, though, so, ymmv.

9x speed improvement in one lil refactor

The first time I ran a working version of the full script it took around 27 minutes. 

I didn’t (still don’t) have the experience to know if this is fast or slow for the size of the dataset, but I did figure that it was worth making at least one attempt to speed up. Half an hour is a long time to wait for a punchline!

As you can see in this commit, I originally had a function called unify that rewrote the answers in the survey from the floats which they'd initially been stored as, to plain text returned from the survey_key. I figured that it made sense to build a dataframe with the complete info, then perform my queries against that dataframe alone. 

However, the script was spending over 80% of its time in this function, which I knew from aggressively outputting the script’s progress and timing it. I also knew that I didn’t strictly need to be doing any answer rewriting at all. So, I spent a little while refactoring find_the_most_annoying_question to use a new function, get_answer_text, which returns the descriptive answer text when passed the answer key and its question. This shaved 9 lines (roughly 12%) off my entire script.

Upon running the script post-refactor, I knew right away that this approach was much, much faster - but I still wasn’t prepared when it finished after only 3 minutes! And since I knew between one and two of those minutes were spent downloading the initial csv alone, that meant I’d effectively neutralized the most egregious time hog in the script. 👍

I still don’t know exactly why this is so much more efficient. The best explanation I have right now is “welp, writing data must be much more expensive than comparing it!” Perhaps this Nand2Tetris course I’ll be starting this week will help me better articulate these sorts of things.

flourishes 💚💛💜

Working on a script that takes forever to run foments at least two desires:

to know what the script is doing Right Now

to spruce the place up a bit

I added an otherwise unnecessary index while running over all the questions in the survey so that I could use it to cycle through a small set of characters. Last week I wrote in my mini-RC blog, "Find out wtf modulo is good for." Well, well, well.

Here’s what my script looks like when it’s iterating over each question in the survey:

I justified my vanity with the (true!) fact that it is easier to work in a friendly-feeling environment.

Plus, this was good excuse to play with constructing emojis dynamically. I thought I’d find a rainbow of hearts with sequential unicode ids, but it turns out that ❤️ 💙 and 🖤 all have very different values. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

the data set

One of the central joys of working with this dataset has been having cause to learn some history that I’d otherwise never be exposed to. Here’s a rundown of some interesting things I learned:

This dataset was only made accessible in October this year. The effort to digitize and publicly release The Sister Survey was spearheaded by Helen Hockx-Yu, Notre Dame’s Program Manager for Digital Product Access and Dissemination, and Charles Lamb, a senior archivist at Notre Dame. After attending one of her forums on digital preservation, Lamb approached Hockx-Yu with a dataset he thought “would generate enormous scholarly interest but was not publicly accessible.”

Previously, the data had been stored on “21 magnetic tapes dating from 1966 to 1990” (Ibid) and an enormous amount of work went into making it usable. This included both transferring the raw data from the tapes, but also deciphering it once it’d been translated into a digital form.

The timing of the original survey in 1967 was not arbitrary: it was a response to the Second Vatican Council (Vatican II). Vatican II was a Big Deal! Half a century later, it remains the most recent Catholic council of its magnitude. For example, before Vatican II, mass was delivered in Latin by a priest who faced away from his congregation and Catholics were forbidden from attending Protestant services or reading from a Protestant Bible. Vatican II decreed that mass should be more participatory and conducted in the vernacular, that women should be allowed into roles as “readers, lectors, and Eucharistic ministers,” and that the Jewish people should be considered as “brothers and sisters under the same God” (Ibid).

The survey’s author, Marie Augusta Neal, SND, dedicated her life of scholarship towards studying the “sources of values and attitudes towards change” (Ibid)  among religious figures. A primary criticism of the survey was that Neal’s questions were leading, and in particular, leading respondents towards greater political activation. ✊

As someone with next to zero conception of religious history, working with this dataset was a way to expand my knowledge in a few directons all at once. Pretty pumped to keep developing my working-with-data skills.

[thatawkwardnerdytomboy]

My Review of the Netflix DeathNote Movie (Spoilers Included)

The Plot

Within the first 10 minutes of the movie, we’re presented with a bunch of cliches of high school life that we didn’t see with the original Death Note. The character, Light, who was a popular respected student at his school has been reduced to a school outcast who gets paid to do his schoolmates’ homework and gets assaulted for protecting his future love interest, a fellow classmate. When he’s assaulted, this love interest, Mia lies to the principal about how he was knocked unconscious and it seems as though Light doesn’t remember anything that occurred prior to this. When Light is approached by the shinigami (death god) Ryuk, in his classroom during detention, Ryuk destroys the room causing Light to freak out. In the anime, Light is both nervous and excited to meet Ryuk. Someone with Light’s mentality should feel entitled and even expect to meet such an entity, not cower and fear for his life before it. 

We’re then introduced to Light’s family...er...dad. Apparently his mother was killed off to provide motivation for him to push him to become Kira and his sister...I guess she doesn’t exist anymore? This scene should have been a way to show that Light has a normal supportive family which adds to his privilege. I feel that this was lazy writing and that it sends a message that people with broken families are more likely to become murders and sociopaths when this isn’t the case. If the writers decided to keep his original family, it would create the message that sociopaths can and do come from normal families. There’s a scene where after Light kills his mother’s assailant, he tells his father about the perp’s death. His father reveals that his mother was against violence but believed that “Karma is a bitch.” Would have been nice if they had some scenes that showed Light and his family bonding before her murder to actually make us care more about it. We get it, it’s terrible but we don’t even know who his mother is. 

There’s a montage of Light and Mia engaging in sexual activity as they kill more criminals and we see a cult of Kira rising around the city. We get a sense that they’re both taking more sexual pleasure from the murders than they are from each other. We’re then introduced to L as he is at the scene of one of Kira’s mass murders of two rival Japanese gangs and L and one of his constituents converse in Japanese. It’s also noted that Kira’s victims write out his name in Japanese on the walls around them before they die which begs the question...why didn’t they just keep this movie Japanese?! Oh wait, it’s just a way for Light to throw detectives off of his path and make them believe that Kira is Japanese and living in Japan because y’know, it can’t possibly be a Japanese American. Though L already figures this out. How? it’s not explained until later.  

We have a scene where Mia prompts L to take more kill requests from Kira worshipper sites online but Light is reluctant. Who’s Kira here? Light or Mia? L reveals that Kira resides in Seattle because one of his victims death’s was only exclusively televised live in Seattle and that his name and face was revealed to Seattle residents only. L makes his address to the city to call Kira out and of course, Light can’t kill him. I thought that it was an obvious but decent decision to have L masked even he’s supposed to make his public address on TV. I like the scene where Light sneaks up behind his father out of the darkness to ask him about the investigation and the conversation that ensues--the one time where we see Light in the correct character. Why is this guy not in the whole film?! 

Mia gives Ryuk the idea to kill all the agents who are investigating and stalking Light and even though he’s not supposed to, Ryuk goes through with it, having them walk off a building before the uncaring emotionless gazes of a woman and her child. Light’s father calls Kira out in a public address to which Light freaks out about being tested again and when he survives this, L becomes convinced without a doubt that Light is Kira. L confronts Light at a local eatery and accuses him to his face. Light freaks out when L pushes him too far--which is out of character. Light is also supposed to befriend L to keep his suspicions at bay and assist his father with the case but apparently, in this portrayal, Light isn’t smart enough to do this. 

When Light forces Watari to find L’s real name for him, L also begins to break character and freak out. The real L wouldn’t even allow this to happen. L also randomly shows up to the Turner household (Light’s dad doesn’t show the proper amount of shock at this moment). Mia is sent away while L interrogates Light and his father about why Light sent Watari away. L and his team then search the house. In the anime, L bugs Light’s house instead to spy on him. This also creates a sense that L is becoming unstable which detracts from his position of power over the situation. Watari is killed before he can tell Light L’s real name. Meanwhile, Light is at a school dance, doing normal teenager stuff to keep the agents spying on him off his back and we find out that Mia caused Watari’s premature death when she removed the page with Watari’s name. Manipulative much? Again, who is the real Kira here? Light or Mia? I think that the writers were seriously confused about this. Misa would never do this unless instructed by Light. 

We then have a cliche chase scene between Light, L and the cops who were ordered to protect Light. These two assholes knock people over as they’re running through a restaurant. As a worker comes into the alleyway to see what’s going on, L blabs to this random stranger about Light’s true identity and the worker who turns out to be a Kira cult member, clocks him with a 2x4. Very professional move L... The following scene is probably the most absurd nonsensical scene in this movie...Light and Mia trap themselves on a ferris wheel to escape the cops and they both admit to each other that they wrote each other’s names in the book as an act of revenge. The ferris wheel begins to collapse and they both plunge to their deaths, killing Mia. Light’s page’s magically and conveniently floats into a burning trash can and Light survives. A man later revealed to be a pedophile collects the Death Note and returns it to Light while he’s in the hospital. Light’s father then enters the room and accuses Light of being Kira because he found out that Light stole the newspaper clipping naming his mother’s killer from his room. We then learn (mostly through narration of course because lazy writing and this movie is too short) how Light killed Mia and saved himself as he explains it to his father. L loses his shit as he contemplates how Light slipped through his fingers. 

This movie was way too short and succumbed to lazy writing and cliches. It’s bad enough that they fell into American movie studios’ mistake of white-washing the cast which was supposed to be primary Asian actors (yes, Asians can be American too!), but to deviate from the anime’s source material so much confuses Death Note fans like myself. Even from an objective standpoint and my struggle to not compare this movie to the original source material, it’s still doesn’t bring anything new to the slew of vigilante justice movies out there in terms of the plot or the characters. Where the original Death Note subverts the cliches of vengeance and casts the protagonist as a villain, this adaptation falls back into the cliche of the protagonist being an angry young adult who’s had family taken away from them...as if we don’t have tons of films with this subject matter already. The cinematography in this movie, while decent, in my opinion was not enough to save it from it’s lack of direction and poor decisions. If I had to give this movie a grade/rating, I’d give it a 1/5 and I’m being generous. 

Light

Light isn’t portrayed as the sociopathic genius that he’s presented as in the anime, but clearly, just another angry teenager with a twisted sense of justice. He’s more reactionary than calculating and often makes decisions based on what’s going on at the time instead of being 2 steps ahead of his opponents like Light from the anime. If pushed far enough, he becomes frightened and paranoid whereas anime Light keeps his composure no matter what the situation is. He often mentions that part of his motivation to seek vengeance against the criminals in society is the murder of his mother but the film makes the mistake of failing to show us his relationship with his mother and why she was so important to him as well as her murder. A lot of films and TV shows tend to do this but the writers on this movie clearly don’t learn from other movie’s mistakes (especially about white-washing the cast) so I’m not surprised about this. I personally, don’t even think it was necessary to include this plot point to provide a motivation for Light to become Kira. Because another part of Light’s becoming Kira stems from his superiority complex and I believe that that the story would have been more gripping and psychological to show that this character feels so intensely entitled to assume his position as a god over the rest of his society. 

Misa

Misa’s (Mia) character in this film is completely different from the anime. Other than the fact that she is no longer a celebrity, she seems to be more like Light’s character than Light himself. She’s vengeful, sociopathic and calculating (exactly how Light is supposed to be but isn’t) instead of cheerful and hyperactive like Misa, which I think detracts from the tone of the story. In the anime, Light and Misa have a Joker and Harley Quinn type of relationship and Misa’s naive and cheerful air despite being used by Light punctuates her unsettling devotion to him. If this portrayal of her was used in this movie, I think it could have also provided a much needed break from the serious tone of the movie and added some contrast between her character and the other characters in the movie. I can understand why they chose to change celebrity Misa Amane’s character to that of average high school student, Mia. Could be that people who aren’t familiar with the Death Note anime would find it unrealistic and strange that a celebrity would be attracted to an average person (even though this does happen in real life and it adds to Light’s power and Light is in fact, not an average person in the grand scheme of things). I think that having a famous celebrity become obsessed with Light/Kira would show the impact of his actions on society. He’d be shown to be so powerful that after protecting this beautiful famous person, she’d fall under his power. Another thing that I think that the writers missed with their relationship is that when Light realized how obsessed this girl was with him, he used it against her and used her as a tool to achieve his goals. He was never interested in having a sexual relationship with her, but only keeping her satisfied so that she would stay attached to him and comply with his commands. 

L

Keith Stanfield’s portrayal of L was surprisingly decent/ok. Upon watching the trailer, I expected his performance to be laughably terrible but it was actually not the worst I was expecting. I thought that his his suspicions of Light were premature. In the anime, L didn’t suspect Light until they met and Light took an interest in his father’s investigation. Also, in the anime, Light became L’s friend to keep him guessing about his suspicion. In this movie, we get mounting suspicion, paranoia and a cliche chase scene like in a typical crime movie. Where L’s character fails is that he’s still missing a lot of L’s personality. It’s not enough just to make him an eccentric and intelligent man with a sugar addiction and strange quirks, L was supposed to be a childlike prodigy who’s patient and so meticulous and attentive that we watch him awake investigating every bit of footage and file on his desk while the rest of his team sleeps. Stanfield’s portrayal, while not the worst, was also not a good enough portrayal of L’s character. His physical appearance was nothing like L’s and I’m not just talking about the casting. But L is supposed to look Haggard, disheveled and he’s supposed to wear jeans and a white shirt to make him look as distinguishable from a law enforcement agent as possible. Stanfield’s character’s attire looks either ninja-esque or like something out of a NYC modeling catalogue. It’s just wrong and nothing like L at all.  

Plot Holes

This film has a lot of plot holes. For example, in the anime, the rules for the usage of the Death Note are clearly explained. However, in this movie, only a few are. So when Ryuk takes matters into his own hands and kills a group of agents, this comes to Light’s dismay. In the Death Note anime (unless I am mistaken) a shinigami (god of death) is not allowed to kill without the Death Note owner’s usage. We never find out why Misa lied about Light being knocked out by that bully and it makes it seem as though this might have been some way to manipulate him. But Light is supposed to be the manipulator, right? We also never find out what Mia’s motivations are for wanting to murder people other than her being bullied by that one guy at their school that one day. Misa from the anime had a valid reason to but Mia didn’t. Big lack of character development there. Also, through everything that happened, where were Mia’s parents? Are they not involved in her life? Is that why she’s so mentally fucked?  Stray Observations:

-What happened to Light’s sister? Why does her character not exist?

-There’s a shot of L giving his public announcement to Kira and to the citizens of Seattle and there’s an American flag waving behind him. We get it...this is the American version of Death Note...don’t bludgeon the fans of the anime over the head with this fact. We’re insulted enough as it is that this movie even exists. 

-When those police jumped off the building, there’s a woman and child who watched them walking into the building looking a bit curious. As the police are jumping, before they collide with the ground, their expressions hadn’t changed, especially the little girl’s. You would think that watching a bunch of people fall to their death would make these two background characters cry out in horror. Has Kira made people this accustomed to seeing death around them or do these two people just not have the capacity to show emotion?

-In the scene where L and Light are at the diner and L knocks all those objects off the table, none of the employees came over to see what was going on? Or were they told not to interfere with their discussion?

-At the end of the chase scene where L corners Light, a man enters the alleyway to see what’s happening and L tells the man that Light is Kira. If you’re a law enforcement agent and you’re investigating a mass murderer, why would you blab out that information to a random stranger especially when you know that said murderer has a cult following and this person is extremely dangerous? I hope that getting clocked in the head taught L a lesson about that. 

-This movie should have taken place in NYC, in my opinion. Whenever L made an address to the city, it should have been on screens mounted on the surrounding buildings in the city like it is in the anime. They could have taken advantage of the screens in Time Square and used the fact that NYC is so diverse that whenever something happens here, it quickly spreads to the rest of the world. The main and surrounding casts would have also been more racially diverse. No offense to Seattle residents but this story needs to take place in a bigger, more famous city. 

[ask-de-writer]

DARING DO and the ADVENTURE of the X'IBIAN VASE! : MLP Fan Fiction : Part 13 of 21

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Daring Do

and the Adventure of the X'ibian Vase!

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

And

Carmen Pondiego

Cover Art by

Doctor Dimension

52630 words

© 2015 by Glen Ten-Eyck

Writing begun 08/26/15

All rights reserved.  This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

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Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights.  They may reblog the story.  They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions, provided that such things are done without charge.  I will allow those who do commission art works to charge for their images provided that I receive a copy of each image for my archive.  

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fictions is actively encouraged.

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Relaxing on a chaise lounge beside the delightful pool that used to be the bath of an Emperor, Carmen adjusted her dark glasses against the glare of the sun on the letter.  She was wearing only a skimpy bikini of bright red and her trademark hat.

The floating island of VILE’s headquarters was presently in the tropics and that suited her perfectly.

She skimmed through the Chineighese characters with utter familiarity.  Her brother in law, Marehem, was having the time of his life, bedeviling the ROT expedition. She was chucking at the recent double disaster with the railroad cars and flipping ROT’s truck. (He insisted on using the character of poison toadstool for them).

Done with the letter, she handed it to Blendin, who was visiting.  He was chuckling himself as his mother hit the pool.  Her hat and glasses sat on the lounge.  She was a red and khaki torpedo swimming underwater to the other end of the pool.

She shot back, underwater again, the whole length of the pool and surfaced like a one horned porpoise. “What do you think, Blendin?”

“I think that Adora would be furious if she knew but she really has no grounds to be.  She did ask Eris to see what she could do to mess up ROT’s expedition.  It was Eris’ idea to send Uncle M!  

“After all, he has had so much fun with the Empire over the ages.  Simply amazing how much chaos VILE’S temporal transport device can cause in the right hooves and his are as wrong as they can get!”  They both shared a giggle.

Baron Von Nighthoof leaned down and took Carmen’s arm, lifting her effortlessly from the pool.  He was smiling warmly at her.  He hugged her closely and stepped back a single pace.

He offered her a flat case of the darkest wood, inlaid with his cutie mark.  Carmen took the case and opened it.  Her gasp of sheer pleasure was almost more reward than the Baron expected.

He nodded, “The copy of Pharow Underrock’s Golden necklace.  It is ready to grace the only neck on this whole world that can outshine its beauty.”  He reached forward and lifted the golden wonder out of its case and set it around Carmen’s neck, pulling her close as he fastened it.

She snuggled up to him and whispered, “You are not only evil, you are wicked!  And I love it!”

~~ ~~ ~~

Jeremy was riding in the carry saddle of Sehang Shu while they discussed his knowledge of Ethnological Geography.  After several hours, she said thoughtfully, “You actually do know more than your prior testing revealed, Jeremy.  I do wonder why you did so poorly when it came to the tests.”

Glumly, Jeremy stared out at the bleak landscape about them and replied, “It sounds like an excuse. Blame my family.  They are old Equestrian Military Service and proud of it.  When I tried to study around them, they always interrupted it.  Celestia forbid that I complain about it, either.”

“Did they not finance your education at the Royal University?”

“No, Sehang, they did not.  I was entirely dependent on grants and scholarships.  I have earned my way through my schooling.”

“I see, Jeremy.  I have earned my way also.  It is sad that such a family could not see fit to support so worthy a goal as education.

“Surely, though, with you at the University and they in Service or on the Family Estates, they had little opportunity to disrupt your studies?”

Jeremy snorted bitterly.  “I wish it was true, Sehang.  They had a nice townhouse in Canterlot, too.  They made such a career of “visiting” the U to noisily interrupt my studies that, at the end, Princess Luna, as the Chancellor of the U had to forbid them entry to the property of the University at all.

“My uncle, Colonel Broadhoof, spoke out against her interference in a family matter.  The Princess pointed out that it went beyond family, when they upset the other students’ studies.  

“He called her a pustulent creature of nightmare, to her face.”

Sehang Shu commented, “That sounds as unwise as telling the Emperor to shove one up his ass!”

Jeremy smiled a little at the humor and went on, “The suddenly Sargent Broadhoof found that out!  He was broken, forbidden any Canterlot Mustering and given a month of nightmares as punishment.”

“Bad dreams for a month is a severe punishment?”

Jeremy sucked his lips as he thought of a way to explain.  “Let me put it this way.  Somewhat over two thousand years ago, the Nightmare Wars got named that BECAUSE of Princess Luna’s use of nightmares as a weapon.  Almost 20% of the unicorns attacking the Fortress of Nightmare committed suicide within five days of coming to the battle front.”

Very softly, Sehang Shu  said, “I see.  And she has had over two thousand years since to perfect that craft.  Did he survive?”

Soberly, Jeremy replied, “Yes.  Sort of.  They released him from the Asylum about six months ago.  He is still under treatment.  The family blames me.  They say that it would not have happened, if I had not chosen the University over a military career.”

Sehang Shu nodded sadly.  “Some other herds view us in a similar manner.  I am sorry, Jeremy.

“I have a question though. With a military background, how did you miss Qushi Han Le’s sharpshooters at the dock in Singapone?”

Grimly, Jeremy replied, “That was my fault.  I was thinking of everything wrongly, and so did not even look for them.  I have only realized today from talking to you, that I had any problem.  Equestrian Superiority was an unquestioned value in my family.  I did not even realize that it had soaked into me since my foalhood.  I may still lapse but ask your forgiveness now.  I will do my best to sort this mess out.”

Sehang Shu nodded thoughtfully. “The most important part of education, Jeremy, is not the learning of facts, as important as that is.  It is the admission of ignorance and error accompanied by the effort to remedy them.

“That is what Ethnological Geography is all about.  Our ignorance and erroneous knowledge of past civilization and the effort to remedy it is the whole foundation of the discipline.”

They revised their discussion of the subjects to be tackled in the colloquium.  Jeremy found the conversation fascinating.

He actually regretted it when it was time to dismount for making dinner.  After stretching out the kinks in his legs from the saddle, Jeremy wandered over to the cook stove.

He was mildly surprised when Soree made room for him.  “How can I help, Soree?

“Measure the water into that pot to the third line, please.”

Measuring in the water, Jeremy commented, “It seems unfair for us to eat and none of the herd to have any.”

Sang He’s voice replied, “In the desert, we need only drink once in seven days.  That will be a large drink, but it will do.  We need only eat once in ten days, though we can eat or drink any time that the opportunity presents itself.

“Our ancestors were made for mountain and desert lands.”

“It still seems unfair!  I presume that you do know what you are doing, after all, this is your home!”

He was surprised by the chuckle from the herd.

Dinner preparations were interrupted by the bellow of a musket and a cry from Sehang Shu!

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

Tyranny was fuming.  “They had no business seizing our truck!  Wasn’t it bad enough that their recklessness had already cost us one truck and most of the load?”

Overthrow, speaking from behind the wheel of the truck that they were in snapped, “That was your fault, Tyranny!  So was getting into that train wreck!  You disobeyed clearly posted signs about staying off the slope while the crossing was in use.”

Robber, sitting in the back of the cab put in, “How come, in the name of Discord, did you not read the traffic law pamphlets that I gave you?  It was the Lock Keeper finding that out that you got your permit without taking their knowledge test that cost us the truck!  Their rules are very clear and blunt.  They seize vehicles that are used in deliberate violation of their driving rules.”

Tyranny glared out the window of the truck at the passing rice paddies and neatly laid out farms.  His teeth ground.  The worst of it was that they were both right.

All that he could do was growl under his breath about injustice, so he did.  He sourly commented, “At least we have now got past the last two canals and what?  Four railroad crossings without any further problems.”

Robber consulted their map. “See those bluffs up ahead?  We will be going through an area of mountains.  When we clear them, it will only be about twenty kilometers to Cantrot.  We will have two rail crossings and one canal between us and the city.”

Ignoring Robber’s comments, Tyranny snarled, “That so-called Antiquarian, Daring Do, set us up! I have found out that she did not even take a single truck on her expedition!  The expedition proposal that she gave us, before she quit on us, is why we came this way!”

Overthrow said dryly, “So, you finally figured that out?  It took you long enough.  I knew that she took us to the cleaners on the proposal as soon as I saw them go on upriver, without even transshipping.”

He suddenly applied the brakes hard, jolting them all.  They were stopped only a few meters from a water buffalo on the road.

The two trucks behind them, driven by experienced Chineighese drivers, stopped without incident. Tyranny was reaching for the horn button when Overthrow knocked his hoof away.

“Stop trying to interfere! Tyranny, sounding the horn at domestic livestock is illegal.  All that we can do is wait for it to move or try to ease around it.  The law pamphlet suggests waiting in the case of water buffalo.”

He snarled, “Why should we wait?  We can drive around it!”

Outside, over a tonne and a half of highly irritated domestic water buffalo was pawing the roadway and lowering its head to charging position.  A peasant in plain cotton robes and flat conical hat was toiling up the road embankment toward the beast that was easily three times taller than he was.  He had a long wooden switch to herd the loose animal away.

He barked some command at the buffalo.  It turned its head and regarded its master briefly. Tyranny chose that moment to lean out the side window and make shooing gestures at it.  The distraction caused the enormous brute to snap its head about and focus entirely on the truck!  It charged.  

The impact shoved the truck back and sideways almost a meter!  It was accompanied by the shattering of glass night driving lamps and the crunch of metal.  The buffalo backed off, shaking its head.

The peasant’s switch got its attention and it started to walk sedately away, guided by taps of the long wand.  Tyranny, seeing it waking away, yelled, “Shoo!  Get out of our way!”

The transition from walking away to charging was almost instantaneous!  The huge heavy horns and thick skull of the enormous animal slammed into the right hand door of the truck.  It was almost perfectly centered, smashing and folding the door inward hard enough to bounce the dazed Tyranny almost entirely off his seat!

The very upset peasant used his switch and fanning motions of his hat to steer the water buffalo away, successfully, this time!  Robber shuddered as he saw the peasant’s orange mane and blue fur for the first time.

The steering still worked properly.  Overthrow got the truck back on course and they were cautiously back underway.

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~

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[salomedesade]

April 20 was the 18th anniversary of the Columbine High School shooting.  I was a junior in high school at the time, and believe that it was my fascination with the event and the perpetrators that began my obsession with crime. 

Dave Cullen’s book on the tragedy has a few flaws, particularly in the slightly preachy epilogue, where he insinuates that mass murderers after Columbine targeted schools because they thought it would get them more attention.  This is an irresponsible blanket assumption, and is particularly jarring when juxtaposed with Cullen rightfully criticizing the media for spreading false facts and theories about the Columbine shooting.  In the introduction to the new edition, Cullen even turns the criticism on himself, explaining that an interview in the original edition with a young woman who claimed to have dated killer Eric Harris was full of falsehoods and had been removed from the new edition, and that he “should have been more skeptical.”

Smug editorializing aside, the rest of the book is a remarkable achievement.  It not only attempts to right the wrongs of the media coverage, it provides a comprehensive look at how the shooting affected all involved.  The characters profiled include the school’s principal, survivors, local police, parents of the victims, and parents of the killers.  The last element is one that was sorely missing from the initial coverage, and one that, until recently, has been missing from these types of events in general.  Sue Klebold, Dylan’s mother, recalls being told by an attorney that, since her son was dead, the rage of the survivors and victims’ families would turn on her.  And it did.  Sue and her husband Tom, along with Wayne and Kathy Harris, faced lawsuits and vicious accusations, claiming that they must have known what their sons were planning.  If their sons had been taken alive, I doubt that the parents would have become the targets that they did.  The brunt of the hatred would have been borne by the killers themselves.  The parents of the victims just needed somewhere to direct their anger. 

Cullen covers the wide range of reactions and grieving processes.  Cassie Bernall’s parents chose to take comfort in the image of their daughter as a martyr for her faith.  The story that she said yes when the killers asked if she believed in God turned out to be false, but her mother insisted on publishing a book reiterating the myth.  There was Brian Rohrbough, father of victim Danny Rohrbough, who filed endless lawsuits, let anger take hold of him, and even tried to blame the shooting on the legalization of abortion.  The story of survivor Patrick Ireland, known as the “boy in the window” from a photo of him dangling out a school window, is very moving. Despite his ordeal, he harbors no anger, and prefers to move forward with his life.  He often declines requests for interviews, since he’s become tired of talking about that one day.

The book exposes the biggest misconception in the Columbine coverage, that Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were lashing out at bullies.  As interviews with their friends reveal, the boys were far from outcasts.  They weren’t what anyone would call “the cool kids,” but they had active social lives.  The avenging outcasts myth came about from a misunderstanding of what was going on inside the school.  It was first reported that the shooters specifically targeted athletes, but later reports confirmed that they did not discriminate in who they killed.  A review of Eric Harris’ journal and website showed a hatred toward the entire human race, not just the jocks.

A forensic psychiatrist interviewed in the book read Eric and Dylan’s journals, and came to a far different conclusion than the media over the motivation for the shooting.  Eric Harris, the psychiatrist said, was a psychopath.  He had all the traits; lack of empathy, superficial charm, frequent lying, and a feeling of superiority.  This, not bullying, is what drove Eric’s desire to kill.  He felt like a god compared to the rest of the population.  He took pride in his ability to manipulate others.  When he and Dylan were caught robbing a van, they wrote letters of apology to the owner as part of their rehabilitation.  Eric’s seemingly sincere apology impressed his case worker, but his journal revealed that he didn’t believe a word of it, and felt he was entitled to the goods in the van due to his superiority.  Dylan Klebold’s journal revealed a suicidal young man desperate to be loved, writing long passages about a girl he admired but would never speak to.  He was full of anger too, but most of it was turned inward.  Like Eric, Dylan saw himself as smarter and different than his classmates.  Unlike Eric, Dylan saw his difference as a curse, barring him from the world of friendship and love he wanted.  The psychiatrist concludes that when the two came together, they exploded  Eric drew out Dylan’s rage, forcing the inertia of his depression into action.  Dylan grew more confident in having a close friend, and his devotion emboldened Eric to grow his murderous ambitions. 

I think the reason the bullying myth endured, and continues to endure, is because it makes more sense to the general public.  Students are bullied every day, some viciously, and it makes sense that they would cling to the story of an avenger, even if it was false.  Adults who remember their own school bullies also understand the desire to harm those who harmed them.  While we may not have taken those actions, we understand those who do.  But two young men, by all accounts with a lot of potential, killing just to kill, is hard to comprehend.  So the media created a more logical narrative, based on flimsy evidence.  Because then the random deaths of twelve people would make some kind of twisted sense.  There’s nothing logical about what Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold did.  I doubt even they could have fully articulated their motives.  In 1977, Stephen King, under the pen name Richard Bachman, wrote a short novel called Rage, about a teenage boy who murders his teacher and holds a classroom hostage.  Due to its connection to several real school shootings, King allowed the book to go out of print in 1997.  When the protagonist, Charlie Decker, is asked by one of his hostages why he’s doing it, he responds, “If I knew what was making me do it, I probably wouldn’t have to.”

[bagofgroceries]

Thoughts on ME: Andromeda

So I finally completed Andromeda with near 100% completion, and I would like to share my thoughts on it. Spoilers and wordy thoughts under the cut!

I want to preface this with saying that I am a big fan of the riginal Trilogy, and I was very excited for Andromeda. After the first trailer was released with the Johnny Cash song was released I blocked all news, trying not to color my impressions of it even more. I pre-ordered the Special Edition of the game but I didn’t play for several weeks because I was replaying the trilogy first.

As well as you know, adulting. Lame.

Spoilers for the originial trilogy as well.

The Plot

Considering when Andromeda takes place in the ME timeline(during ME:2 before the Shadowbroker DLC ish) they didn’t have many choices plot wise. Unless they wanted to write a Prequel a la Borderlands, and it was hard to live up to the Urgency and Seriousness that the plots of ME:2 and ME:3 had.

Settling a new galaxy is a simple plot that lacks the convulutedness that people complained about with The Reapers, Leviathan and heck even the stupid council.

The Pathfinder

When I found out that ‘Pathfinder’ was a title and role that was basically made up by Alec Ryder I was disapointed. The characters you meet and who you hear talking place a great deal of responsibility on the Pathfinders early on, they seem to have such high expectations for people who haven’t really had a chance to earn it.

The role itself? Okay sure, gotta have one person in charge of exploring and charting who has a varied skillset. I would have liked to have heard more about the other Pathfinder’s qualifications. We know Ryder was an N7, we know Sarissa is a War Hero and the best thing since sliced bread according to Cora, but what about Reeka? Avictus?

Also, who exactly do the Pathfinders report to? Ideally did they report to Garson, and did all the Pathfinders report to her, were they not answerable to their own people? What are the Pathfinders going to do once this new society gets going?

Also a bit curious about how they felt about Sam, considering the history of AI in the Milky Way.

Which leads us to…

Sam

Repetitive messages aside (yes, I know it’s fucking cold on the ice planet away from the heaters, thank you.) I really liked Sam. I thought he was useful, a good addition to gameplay, the voice acting was excellent and his character arc–though not complete–was well written.

Did I like him better when he was EDI?  Yes.

Would I have been sad if EDI had died, more so than if Sam died? Yes.

Do I think that they were trying to rip off of EDI’s popularity, like Star Trek was doing with T’Pol and Seven of Nine? Yes.

I am really hoping that if there is another ME game he evolves differently than EDI did. I would have liked to see more push back against his existence with how upset everyone was about EDI becoming unshackled, and the assurances they needed upon meeting her pre-unshackling. Give me the video where a Quarian Pathfinder was convinced to take a SAM implant. Please.

The Kett

Look. There is no way around the Kett being lazy writing, especially if you want to compare to the original trilogy enemies.

The Geth are great enemies with a well written backstory and a satisfying end to their arc, between Legion and the fact that they actually caused debate and discussion they were excellent.

Cerberus was built up through the three games with a great backstory, like the geth they had shades of grey and were humanized through Miranda, Jacob and even EDI.

The Reapers were. Well, the AI who kill humans to save humans isn’t new but they were still handled well and I like the patched ending of ME3. The Leviathan DLC also helped a lot. They also gave a sense of urgency to the plot and were hard as shit to fight at times.

The Kett were never humanized, we never had shades of grey. They tried with the Exalted bit, but even the Angara weren’t really affected by it. It would have been more interesting if some faction of Angara who were against killing Kett. They weren’t particularly challenging, the Exalting thing wasn’t an interesting twist because the Reapers did it first.

The superiority complex wasn’t interesting because to varying degrees all the Milky Way aliens had it against the humans, the Reapers of course were the most severe. Maybe if I hadn’t played the other Trilogy I would be more impressed, but as it stands…not really.

The Angara

I dig the Angara. I have no salt about them, other than that they are the only species in Andromeda other than the Kett. Their backstory is interesting–not particularly original in Sci-Fi but original for ME (I am not comparing it to what the Salarians did with the Krogan of course). Their religion is fascinating as is their family structure, and I even like their look. I wish their Telepathic (???) abilities were expanded on however.

Jaal is obviously meant as a Proxy for Garrus, but without the years of build up I had no issue choosing Suvi over him.

Gameplay

I was pretty displeased that I lost my combat drone early on, my preferred build was engineer in the previous trilogy and I liked the way they improved the drone in 3. However Peebee finally gives you a bot so. You know, he kicked ass.

I don’t like that I could no longer direct my squadmates attacks, once I realized that I sort stopped caring about their builds or who I brought with me. That being said I loved the dialogue between your Squadmates on the Mako, listening to Jaal ask questions was well done and something I actually looked forward to.

The option for different builds..eh. I never played with it. I came up with a skillset I liked (bot, throw and overload) and stuck with it. Oh, I played with Shockwave, just because I was always jealous of Jack.

I feel like the Research and Development thing was better done with Skyrim and potions. Though, in their defense I’m not a huge shooter person, ME is the only shooter I play and it only vaguely falls into that category. My play style has always ha more of an emphasis on powers than guns. Between Resources, Research Points and mods it seemed like a bit of a chore. But I think someone who enjoyed the building mechanic and guns in general would probably be more into it.

The jumpjets were well done, not much to say there. The improved Mako was, well, improved, and made it much more enjoyable. The map was better, though the unlockable hidden staches were a bit of a pain in the ass.

Acquiring resources was much improved, and I appreciated the fact that you stumble onto more minor side quests. I always thought ME could use more of those AC and Skyrim style.

The scanner was…Not bad actually, annoying when it went off for the same stupid shit in every scavenger hideout, but still a well executed concept.

I could go on and on here, but I won’t.

Graphics

Look. It could be better right? No one is saying that they couldn’t be better, or that using Frostbite was a stellar idea, but they are not near as bad as everyone said.  Granted, Voeld is a strong green tint since the latest patch for me, for…reasons. But it’s liveable.

But Meridian? The Fiends? The Angara? Havaarl? All well done, and nothing to scoff at. When it comes to the facial designs and looks, they are on par with ME3, maybe a smidge higher sometimes, but the animation left some to be desired in comparison.

Fuck you EA, shove frostbite up your ass.

Representation

We needed better LGBT representation, hands down. The Fem!Ryder and Suvi storyline was adorable, I squealed and as a queer lady  I fucking loved it. But we could have used more representation, there really isn’t a lot of debate about that.

However! Women were represented better, not so much on the Nexus but I have seen more female Turians and Krogans in Andromeda than in all three previous games total.

We could have used more POC, especially Woc however.

Main Salt

Where are my fucking Quarians, where are my goddamn Drell? We saw two Drell total in Mass Effect, and you have no idea how much I wanted to see more in Andromeda. Don’t give me any bullshit about them being an endangered species okay, Eos and Elaaden would ba paradise for Drell, they were hands down the most under developed species in ME, even the goddamn Jellyfish got a moviestar.

Five. Count ‘em–Volus, Drell, Quarians, Elcor and Hanar were not represented in Andromeda. Holy shit. That is a fucking lot. Jesus. Did they forget? Were they lazy? Were they rushed? Were they incompetent? Tali’s people would have kicked ass in Andromeda. TVtropes as a great section on the headscratchers section about why the Quarians would have been useful, don’t give me any bullshit on Volus and Quarians needing special accommodations because for one this is a video game, make it work, for two they survive just fine on The Citadel and The Normandy.

Fuck off. I am so bitter about this. Keep Cora, give me a Quarian.

The girl at the end who was apparently raised by Quarians felt like a slap in the face. Knight should have been in a Quarian, it makes sense for her to be a Quarian.

There also should have been more ethical or moral decisions like the previous mass effect games, I don’t feel attached to my Ryder, I don’t feel like I really know her personality. Granted, maybe more time I have with her will help, but we don’t even know if there will be more.

Although her speeches were pretty great overall.

As a wrap up;

The game was good, it kept me engaged to the point that I finished it but I never truly felt emotionally invested.  It was not near as bad as everyone said, but it could use some DLCs(that we are never getting), it improved on some things from ME but feels like it was designed by someone who had read about ME and did not love it like we do.

I want to play  the original trilogy all over again, and I will replay Andromeda–but not anytime soon. Fuck Alien Sudoku.

Oh, Drack, Sid, Vetra and Suvi are the best. Fact.

P.S Avictus you are a disappointment.   

I would love to hear your opinions, whether they agree with mine or not :)

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