#write about a car ride
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This one is set between Season 3 and Season 4.
Alex is just about to walk away from–or throw into the wall–the Project Shepherd artifact he’s been researching when his phone rings. It’s Michael’s ringtone, so he swallows down his frustration before answering.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Is this a bad time? I can call back?” Michael says, sounding hesitant. Apparently, Alex hadn’t concealed his frustration as well as he’d thought.
“No, it’s probably good that you called,” Alex reassures him. “I was just about to break something, but I’ve been told that isn’t a constructive way to deal with strong emotions.”
“I’m here to help,” Michael chuckles. “So, uh, I wanted to take you out tonight. Nothing fancy, just burgers at the Crashdown and a drive out into the desert. But if you’re not up for it…”
“Yes, please,” Alex says as Michael trails off. “Honestly, that sounds perfect.”
By the time he hangs up with Michael, Alex’s frustration has faded to a manageable level and he makes it through the rest of the project without tossing the artifact at the wall. He suspects that the flirting he and Michael had done on the phone, along with the upcoming date, may be responsible for his greatly improved mood.
They flirt some more throughout dinner, and by the time they take their milkshakes to go, Alex feels pleasantly warm and happy. It’s a similar feeling to being a couple beers in, buzzed but not drunk, except it’s all because of Michael. He climbs into the passenger side of the old Chevy, and after a moment’s hesitation, slides across the bench seat so he’s pressed up against Michael. Michael grins and starts the engine, and once they’ve pulled out into the sparse traffic, he slings his arm around Alex’s shoulders and tugs him that little bit closer.
They’ve got the windows down, so they don’t talk much, content to sip their milkshakes and unwind in comfortable silence. The late spring air flows through the cab, and Alex closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He's always loved the smell of the desert, clean and pure. He picks up on earthy sage and the sweeter agave. Maybe a bit of creosote, too. When he opens his eyes, Michael is watching him, the hint of a smile tugging at his lips.
“Eyes on the road, cowboy,” Alex teases, and Michael spares him one last look before turning his attention to the highway.
Before long, Michael takes an unmarked dirt road. It should be a rough ride, but the truck’s suspension is good, absorbing the worst of the bumps. Alex isn't surprised. It may be old, but Michael's always taken good care of the Chevy.
At some marker Alex doesn't see, Michael leaves the road–such as it is–and heads out across the desert floor. They gently coast to a stop and Michael cuts the engine. He spins the keys around his finger once before pocketing them.
“Wanna watch the sunset and then make out for a bit?” he asks. “I tossed some blankets into the back before I picked you up. Should be comfortable enough.”
When Michael finally drops Alex at home, it's late, and he's exhausted in the best possible way. The whole date with Michael–dinner, the drive, kissing in the desert under the stars–had been exactly what he’d needed.
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Dust is smiling under that hoodie
Dust belongs to Ask-dusttale
Killer belongs to rahafwabas
Horror belongs to horrortalecomic
The guy in the picture is the Intruder from the Mandela Catalogue series on YouTube
In case you can’t read my handwriting:
Killer: Look, this guy totally looks like you!
Killer: *shows a picture of the Intruder*
Horror: Oh yeah, I can totally see the ressemblance!
Dust: I fucking hate you guys
#art#utmv#comic#dust sans#killer sans#horror sans#I thought about this joke in a car ride today#please ignore the fact that I didn’t write ressemblance correctly
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Please imagine Umemiya Hajime who's good at camping. He's well prepared and can start a fire in seconds if necessary. (Not to mention him chopping wood?) But also imagine the knots he can tie when putting the tent up. His fingers deftly looping and pulling around the stakes before he tightens them. He'll teach you what different ones are good for, but every time he has you try to do it, you come up blank, unable to tie the simplest thing. It takes the third time of him showing you before he realizes the dreamy look in your eyes isn't one of concentration to learn. But really, who could blame you when he explains it so patiently in that sweet low rumble that he uses when he's alone with you in close proximity. When occasionally he'll grab your hands in his to physically show you how the knots tie, and you can feel the callouses on his palms grazing your skin.
#umemiya hajime x reader#wind breaker#i was thinking of hobbies to give him since i wanted to do another hobby post and i was like hmmm camping? he'd make a fantastic eagle scou#but then i was like 'he could use those knots to tie me up' >_>#but i was also like 'he would be great at whittling' lmfao nothing sexier than making little carvings and animals with a small piece of woo#and a knife#so i decided to talk about his hands and tying knots and save the regular camping stufff for the actual post i make at a later date#also why do i only have good writing ideas when i drive? 99% of all things i publish are thought of mid car ride to and from work#mari writes#also i kept giggling at innuendos#chopping 'wood' pitching a tent#silly silly
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Being in a fandom long term, especially a smallish fandom is so weird sometimes.
Like there’s these people you remember from back in the day that you used to talk to all the time, people who were hugely popular in the fandom at the time. People that would post stuff constantly and everyone in the fandom knew who they were, coz they were fandom famous. And then one day they just kinda… dropped off the face of the earth? And no one’s heard from them in years?
Like these people were the biggest and most popular fanfiction writers and/or fan artists back in the day, and now they’re just gone from the fandom entirely, and newer fans who joined the fandom after they left don’t know who they are. And that’s fine, the new fans are great, but sometimes you just wanna talk about this old stuff that no one knows or remembers anymore. Or you wanna talk about old fandom dramas that happened ten years ago, but no one knows anything about it coz they weren’t around for it.
And sometimes the one that left leave all their old fandom stuff up in their abandoned accounts on tumblr or on other sites like ffn that have mostly fallen out of popularity/usage in favour of newer and/or better options, and you can still look at it and point it out as part of the fandom’s history.
But other times, they’ve deleted all their old pages and all their art and stories have disappeared and you’re kinda left alone remembering them when one else does. And sometimes you just really want to read that old fanfic by your fave author that you loved when you were like 14, but you can’t because it no longer exists anywhere on the internet.
#I was thinking about some specific people when writing this tbh#for a few different fandoms#fandom#fandom culture#maximum ride#pixar cars#vampire academy#fandoms#4am thoughts#random
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So I've mentioned before that my irl friend and my partner got me to watch HoTD, but since we got caught up to the season finale of that we're now watching GOT.
So during a Littlefinger & Varys scene one of them mentioned how the two of them could both just absolutely kick Larys' ass as whisper masters and just now all I can picture is Larys just fucking full on snot crying after they've been bullying him at like 1/10th of their power for one (1) day and he's just like "Alicent can you come pick me up? I'm scared."
#idk if he'd be writing a raven letter or just somehow magically have a telephone#but either way it's just so fucking hilarious to picture omfg#and for whatever reason I'm picturing that she has to like drive out in the middle of the night to come get him like a kid at a sleepover#either in a carriage or a car whichever (or get one of her kids to dragonmobile her out there)#and the ride back home is just dead silent and whenever she goes to ask him he's just like “I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT”#and starts back crying#look and I LIKE Larys a lot but this was just too fucking perfect omFg#shitpost#mom come pick me up i'm scared#got#game of thrones#house of the dragon#HoTD#littlefinger#varys#larys#larys strong#alicent hightower#hotd alicent#hotd larys#got varys#got littlefinger#my friend has gotten me watching game of thrones and now it's other people's problem
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Mike and Will get locked in the school library and have to wait until morning for the doors to open up, perhaps?
ok so not gonna lie, i am getting sleepy (lol me projecting by writing mike's sleepy self in the library), but listen, this one was SO fun. a little modern byler au here, set during their senior year of high school. featuring every byler's favorite poem by richard siken (starts at 19:54 on the link).
—
with a beautiful boy
“What if nobody finds us in here, Will?”
Will blinks, and he rolls over to look at his best friend in amusement. “There’s school tomorrow, Mike,” he reminds dryly. “First thing in the morning, Ms. Jean’s gonna come in and realize we’re in here, and we’ll get lectured or get detention or something for being stuck in here. But they’re gonna find us.”
Mike hums, and he lazily reaches for one of the books—one with a black and white picture of a man’s mouth and hand, titled CRUSH. He opens it up, absently thumbing through the pages; then, without saying another word, he sets the book on top of his face.
“Do you think if I just… let these books sit on my head I’ll absorb all their information through osmosis or something?” Mike asks, his voice muffled by the book on top of his face, and Will just snorts.
“I think you need to sleep,” Will corrects, nudging his best friend’s shoulder. “It’s 2 AM, Mike. If you’re tired, you should sleep. I told you I didn’t mind staying up alone.”
“And I told you,” Mike says stubbornly, “that if you’re staying up, then I’m staying up too. Besides, it’s kind of fun. You know I get stupid when I haven’t slept in a while.”
Once again, Will snorts, and he reaches over, lifting the book off Mike’s face. “You said it,” Will deadpans. “Not me.”
A soft laugh escapes Mike’s lips, and he closes his eyes, letting out a quiet sigh. “I know,” he murmurs, his voice a little sleepy. “I know I did.”
“Mike,” Will laughs softly, nudging his best friend again. “If you’re tired, go to sleep.”
Mike lifts his middle finger up. “Don’t tell me what t’do, Byers,” he grumbles. “I’m fine.”
Will rolls his eyes. “Whatever you say.”
Mike just hums softly, and he taps his fingers absently against the carpeted floor of the library. “Hey, Will?”
“Hm?”
“Will you read to me?” Mike says, his voice soft, and Will blinks, looking at his best friend curiously.
“You want me to read to you?” Will repeats, just trying to make sure he heard Mike correctly.
“Mhm.” Mike nods.
“What, like a bedtime story or something?” Will asks dryly. “Is that what this is?”
“No,” Mike huffs, opening one eye and sticking his tongue out at Will. “I just… like your voice a lot. It’s pretty. So… you should read to me.”
Warmth rises to Will’s cheeks, and he looks away quickly, lest Mike see the stupid blush on his face. Yeah, Mike is definitely loopy right now, since he’s saying stuff like this. There’s no way in hell Mike would say any of this if he was in the right mind. He has no idea what he’s talking about.
Maybe a bedtime story would be good for him.
“Fine,” Will sighs reluctantly. “What do you want me to read?”
Once again, Mike hums. “Just read the book I grabbed,” he mumbles. “The one you’re holding right now.”
“Okay, okay,” Will sighs, and he sits up, absently flipping through the book and trying to find a poem that stands out to him.
Finally, one of the poems jumps out to him, and Will swallows the lump in his throat. He… he can’t help but think back to the summer road trip he and the other Party members had gone on, just a couple months ago. The memory of sneaking away in the morning before the others had woken up and riding in the passenger seat of Mike’s car along the coastline feels burned into Will’s memory, and this poem feels like that memory—as if the poet tore open Will’s heart and mind and used his thoughts as inspiration.
“You’re in a car with a beautiful boy,” Will begins to read softly, “and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you've done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you're tired.”
Mike hums softly, and Will glances at his best friend, a tiny smile on his face. “You’re in a car with a beautiful boy,” Will continues, “and you're trying not to tell him that you love him, and you're trying to choke down the feeling, and you're trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist…”
Will’s heart pounds inside his chest, and he takes a shaky breath, staring down at the words. “And you feel your heart taking root in your body,” he murmurs, “like you've discovered something you don't even have a name for.”
Once Will finishes reading the poem, the library goes silent. Neither one of them says a word, and all Will can do is stare at the words, reading them over and over again.
You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.
…
You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him.
...
And you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you don’t even have a name for.
“Hey, Will?” Mike murmurs, his voice thick with sleep.
Will swallows the lump in his throat, and he lowers the book, so he can look at his best friend. “Yeah?” he whispers back.
Mike’s eyes are still close, and he absently traces his finger across the carpet. “Have you ever felt like that before?” he asks softly, and Will’s brow furrows.
“Like… what?” Will asks hesitantly.
“Like how the poet did when he wrote that,” Mike answers without hesitation. His voice is still soft, and it grows even softer when he adds, “‘Cause… ‘cause I have.”
Will’s breath catches. He glances back down at the book. The words jump off the page at him.
You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.
��Yeah,” Will whispers back, hesitantly looking back up. “I… I have too.”
You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him.
A tiny smile forms on Mike’s face, and he opens his eyes, looking sleepily at Will. “You should tell me about it sometime,” he whispers. “And I’ll tell you too… when I’m less sleepy. ‘Cause I… I don’t wanna wake up and realize this was a dream.”
There’s something so tender in Mike’s eyes, and Will can’t help but smile. “Okay,” he says softly, nodding at his best friend. “We can tell each other about… about what we’re thinking about, when you’re less sleepy. Deal?”
“Deal,” Mike promises, yawning softly. “I… I’m gonna sleep now. ‘m sorry.”
Will can’t help but laugh. “It’s okay,” he reassures. “Get some rest. I’ll wake you up before school starts.”
The smile on Mike’s face grows. “G’night, Will,” he mumbles, and he closes his eyes once more.
“Goodnight, Mike,” Will whispers back.
Within moments, Mike is fast asleep, and Will exhales, looking back down at the poetry book in his hands. His eyes land on the last lines of the poem, and Will can’t help but smile.
And you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you don’t even have a name for.
#andi's asks#byler#byler ficlet#andi writes not dies#okay so my personal headcanon for this ficlet is that#mike intentionally grabbed this book#having already read this poem will reads#and he does it in hopes of will reading that poem too#bc mike has that same feeling that will does about their little summertime car ride#ANYWHO.
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Time Slip | Chai x Reader (6/10)
Summary: Chai, ambassador of Vandelay Technologies, certainly has his ways of communication. You, living in the suburbs outside the campus, don't even have a cell phone. You know what they say about relationships…
Chapter One: Time Slip
Chapter Two: #E67451
Chapter Three: Daisies
Chapter Four: Sweet Dreams
Chapter Five: Synesthesia
Chapter Six: On Mercury
The liquor slid down your throat finally, once trapped brushing over your taste buds when the Vandelay sister excused herself from the bar and took you with her. Sure, you could have took some cues from the drama class you forced yourself to take during your freshman year; perhaps then you could have spared the other two from assuming you couldn’t take it by nearly spitting it out all over the countertop. Peppermint, upon your wince and your lips flattening, fished around in the pockets of her cyan flannel to hand you a tiny bottle of tequila with a: “Here, you’re gonna need it.” You echo her sentiment with a whisper under the buzzing of flickering lamps above your head, nonetheless screwing off the lid, clinking the bottle with her own, and downing it in one shot. The bathroom wall is chill against your scalp as the buzz began to envelop you, your groan insignificant to the cries of frustration from the woman before you. Behind you was all of the action, beyond those doors music deafening to the ears and parties looking for a thrill or someone to spend the night with. Too loud, too overstimulating, but your boyfriend promised to make the night worth it by opening a tab under his account and then following the excitement with a night at your apartment. A night undoubtedly beginning with him rolling you up into a burrito under a blanket that was once his, with your cheeks squished against his as you two watch an action movie… his choice. You couldn’t help but count the minutes even if the alcohol turned minutes into seconds.
The idea to invite Korsica and Peppermint was not yours, nor was it entirely unwelcome. No double date was planned but the hang out of four friends; two of you so happened to be dating, and it would’ve been really cool if we were dating and all of us could go on, like, double dates, according to Chai. That would actually be pretty dope, you would respond. No one says that anymore hun. Say it with me: cool. Peppermint and Chai just so happened to frequent this place, the crowd practically anticipating their arrival, with the man swearing that one day this will be his first gig in show biz. You count yourself fortunate that no one followed the two of you into the bathroom, most likely instead fawning over…
You stiffened. “Don’t you and Korsica work together?”
“Something like that,” she began, hands gripping at the edges of the sink. “But—“
You huffed. “So what’s the issue?”
“The issue—“ Her grip tightened before she balled her hands into fists. Your gaze shuffled to her knuckles, her skin white with exertion, and you find her gaze again. “The issue is that I think I already love her.”
A lot to unpack there, but no time; your phone vied for your attention from the pocket of your jeans, no doubt your boyfriend in search for updates. His best friend knew this, was positive that was him, and she looked to you and shook her head in a plea for you to hear her out. “We’ve hooked up once before,” she revealed to you. Your eyes were wide with the revelation and her gaze found your pocket, no doubt aware of where your head was. The response was: “Don’t tell him or I’ll kill you,” and no matter the outcome of the night, that was now one less thing to giggle with him about. Peppermint confiding in you was an honor, however, and was a pact you intended not to break. Chai would not know unless, well, that buzz progressed a bit further than feeling nice.
She sighed, handing you another bottle. “We were drunk.” Before she took her swig, she raised an eyebrow at your posture leaning to your left. “You still with me?”
You paused, raising the rum above your head. “Cheers to being drunk and hooking up I guess.”
Chai was always too oblivious to notice it. To you, it was evident: the passing of glances from the two, the swift return to routine with but a brush of red on their cheeks. Peppermint, unable to process such emotions, would take it out on her roommate by jostling at his shoulders for reasons she should be long used to. Korsica would utter her name and seem deep in thought as if she was dwelling on how it sounded on her tongue. The affinity for the candy was sudden, as if the very plant itself reminded her of her crush. The hopeless romantic in you couldn’t help but think it was more than a crush; a love blossoming was more like it, well beyond of you and your boyfriend’s.
Oh, now you were feeling nice. You smiled. “You should just be natural. I think she, uh, likes you natural.”
The trek to the highest point of the dome was not an effortless one, and was not without its disadvantages: your knees aching and cracking as you threw your leg over one ledge after another. Your vision blurs when you blink and you do miss a step or two, but you nonetheless make it with a few cackles from your lover. It is only when you and Chai reach the surface that his eyes shut and he presses his lips against yours, streetlight overhead casting a shadow over lips hungry for affection. Your hand rests on his knee when he does so, the warm yellow hues enveloping the two of you on top of the world. The autumn breeze slithers up your sweater causing your body to quiver against the cool metal of the jungle gym, and Chai in response drags you toward his embrace by wrapping his arms around you and sharing his heartbeat with yours. His lips are cold, his breath escaping past him and dissolving into mist, but he continues to shower you with kisses that tempt you with a good time. With the prior decision for the four of you to abandon the bar at Peppermint’s request, you and Chai bask in the indulgences of a past once carefree and abundant with uncertainty.
He distracts you so much that the couple below you is forgotten, and your mission to third wheel a romance about to blossom is all but abandoned when Chai’s fingers grasp at your chin to focus your attention back at him. The second it takes the distance to grow between the two of you is the same as the second your boyfriend does not take for granted; he captures your lips once more before asking: “Wanna climb up that one?” Behind you is a dome twice the height of the one you two are situated on, and his response to your rebuff and your proclamation that he absolutely cannot make it up there is a smooth, “I bet I can.” However, Chai is lazy and it nonetheless shrouds his confidence; the man does not move, nor does he make the effort to be apart from you.
“Chai, do you think—“
“That they’re definitely over us kissing? Yes! I do.”
You groan. “That this double date worked?”
“Ohhh! Right… prolly not.” However, he sneaks a peek over your shoulder, and he grins. “Or maybe…”
You expect the two of them to huff below you, feet planted on the ground as their eyes roll to the back of their heads with the obscenity of the two of you lip-locking. You expect to turn and find them throwing their hands up and stomping to the truck, grumbling about how much of a waste of time today was. When Chai grips at your chin to steer you towards his line of vision, you find the two lovebirds against the trunk of Peppermint’s truck as their lips touch for the first time. If you squint, you can feast your eyes on the beauty that is Korsica’s hands cupping her lover’s cheeks; their noses touch, and you’re reminded of the first kiss you and Chai shared all of those months ago.
“Holy shit.”
“Holy shit is right! Can’t believe we pulled that off!” His hand is raised, awaiting a high-five, but your fingers instead intertwine with his. He says your name, fingers tracing his own across the cloth that warms your thigh. You eye at the hairs that stand in response to his touch, at the metallic that pricks at the thread of your jeans as he spells out another word in time with the swift waving of your hand clasped with his.
He then shakes his head and goes: “Nah. Just counting myself lucky.”
Three words. That’s all it takes.
You give him four. “Move in with me.”
#hifi rush#hi fi rush#chai x reader#chai hi fi rush#reader#writing#hifi rush chai#Finished this in a two hour car ride to Sarasota lol#Enjoy! I really love this chapter hehe#And i think its safe to say we got about four more chapters of the Chai x Reader saga :)
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will y’all still love me if i’m not active tonight 🥺
#ASDFGH#i’m kidding but i’m just straight up about to lose it#i don’t mean to vent#i’m just so very tired and agitated bc i can’t go one car ride much less one day without listening to this person in my life complain#i’m all for sharing your feelings and struggles!! i really encourage it bc it isn’t good to bottle all of that up#but it’s every day and all she talks about#it’s exhausting and on a day like today it makes me wanna just become a rock and do filler activities like playing a game vs productive#activities like writing and chores#i dunno if that makes sense and maybe if i just push myself i’ll make it on#but i apologize if i’m not around like i meant to be#get ready to ramble | ooc#tw vent
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hey
#it's been a while hasn't it!#so long it's almost the end of q1#anyways. unexpected 3-day weekend coinciding with inspiration is unexpected#if you want me to respond to old things i'm happy to do so?#if you want new things i'm even happier to oblige#taking advantage of today by doing a deep clean#but i'll have time later#and i'm being hopeful about going to a game tomorrow. which means i'll have a long car ride to write if you are so inclined#and with the return of live sports i'm sure you can imagine where my head's at#so! discord if you want to talk through anything#either way. hey it's good to see you
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this 38-year-old white man should not give me as much joy as he does
#im sure he’s used to it by now but the fact he could be stopped at any given moment by someone to take a picture must be so strange#he wasn’t wearing his lil incognito cap this time#he was going to take his lil train ride and write in his notebook#and im sure he feels bad saying no to people and he always tried to be kind and considerate#but you don’t get the luxury of going out and remaining under the radar#but then he has millions of dollars and i feel less bad#he could have taken a car or flown but he just wanted to take a lil train ride#idk I can’t think about him too much cause it sends me into a tizzy#but I missed seeing him 😫✨😭 my POOKS
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I haven't actually written any sort of story before, but I'm strongly considering starting to dip my toes into creating fanfiction. My current idea is, for some reason, a character introspection on Pinako Rockbell.
Don't know why I was inspired to write about a relatively minor character, and not the characters or pairing I'm actually obsessed with, but it is what it is.
(Ed x Winry will be mentioned though, as this story is after they marry, but it's about Pinako not them. But if this goes well I do want to try writing EdWin eventually, and really hoping to make something for 503 week next year too).
#fma#fullmetal alchemist#fanfiction#pinako rockbell#the idea came to me inexplicably and very strongly on a long car ride a couple of months ago#and now I've decided to actually write it#keeping my expectations in check#it's in a fandom that's (thankfully) alive but also not super active#and I'm making an introspection on a not super popular character#if it gets over 20 hits I'll be surprised#and if I get a single kudo (especially non-guest) I'll be super happy#but mostly this is about if i can actually make something I'll be satisfied with myself#regardless of how much attention it will get
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i need angsty sam winchester fic recs PLEASE
i want to write them but alas i have writers block so i must do indulgent reading
#pre series angst is so real and heavy it hurts#i need so much#like i need analysis on john and sam as characters BADLY#and dean and sam being brothers and all cute#but also fighting and shit bc close quarters all day#and long car rides with the three#and UGH#i need to write :(#supernatural#sam winchester#spn#dean winchester#please talk to me about supernatural#sastiel#castiel#sabriel#destiel#chuck shurley#john winchester
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sorry to message but i just wanted to yell because I saw a post and yOU’RE THE AUTHOR OF FALLOUT FROM THE FADE ???? oh my goodness it’s my favourite fic ive read it SO many times.
i left a comment on ao3 last night because i finished reading it again and i just genuinely hope one day you finish it (i understand you have much going on i am just greedy).
but yes thank you so much for creating it, fenris and hawke are everything to me and this fic is my canon no matter what happens in veilguard. 💜
hahaha HELLO yes that is indeed I... I guess i do owe a little bit of an explanation here since its been uh... like 4 years since I last updated, yeah :| But it still makes me so happy that even after so long people still enjoy my little pile of suffering and yearning!
I don't know how many people who used to follow it are still on tumblr (I think a lot of people i used to write with/who would comment have deleted their tumblrs and AO3 accounts in the intervening years alas) but i do I owe anyone remaining a little context I guess lol. Long story made short is like very shortly after my last update i got broken up with unexpectedly from my 4 year relationship, and went into a bit of a spiral about it. I didn't fully stop writing at this point (though I think nothing I wrote in that like... year or more ended up posted anywhere), but I did realize that when I went to work on my ongoing stuff I was in a place where I was like... only wanting to write about anger/losing relationships rather than healing ones. And that part of me wanted to change some of the things I had planned for the following parts and ending of Fallout From the Fade. And so I decided to take a step back from it for a while to see if I actually wanted to make those changes when I was less bitter or if I wanted to follow my original plan.
And that took me about a year, emotionally. However by then I had actually left my prior job (where I spent a lot of time hiking/camping in the wilderness of Utah with no internet, and I used that time for writing), and started graduate school courses. Aaaannnd grad school has been slowly eating my life since. I've only posted I think one other fanfic since then, and it was a very short prose-poem one shot. Another contributing factor was my gaming tech was too old to actually play Trespasser when it came out, and by the time I got a laptop that could handle it, I had to replay the whole game but I was working full time, etc... and i felt really disconnected from the DA fandom since I couldn't read all the new fic/understand all the lore deep dive posts/experience it with everyone else simultaneously. Oh yeah and I work a second job as a professional mermaid in varying degrees of intensity depending on the season/oportunties available haha.
All that being said. I actually have written more of FFtF in the last 2 years. But like I said in the other post I made kinda recently, the long gaps between my later updates (vs the ones I was doing way more regularly in 2016-2018) had me rethink the approach I was using to write and post it, which was a chapter at a time. It felt like stringing people along in kind of a mean way to dump a chapter and then vanish for another year, and I knew I couldn't promise consistency while doing a masters/PhD program. So I've been kind of fiddling away at it slowly still, both actual writing of following chapters, and some substantial firming up/drafting sections in my outline to get to the eventual ending and ensure it's more cohesive than a lot of my slapdash chapters. But! Idk! I do also def work slower without the fun of having an audience, and miss that. and I never actually asked of the people who are left and still wanna read more of it, if they'd rather just get a chapter every 6 months or so as I scrounge it out. If you are one of those people and have an opinion def let me know.
I will say, the imminent presence of Veilguard does have me more inspired and creative again, and some of that has been going to Fallout. Especially since I'm no longer watching the videos/gameplay bioware is putting out since they have SOOO many spoilers and I wanna go into the game at least semi blind, so my creative energy has to go towards my personal stuff rather than joining everyone else in speculation and hype now. I'm definitely not promising I will have it close to finished by October when Veilguard releases, because I'm still in grad school and the next months are busy for me in terms of mermaid work too, but I am hoping I can make some good chunks of progress between now and then. But then if I say that and can't follow through after all I also don't wanna let people down.
Anyway yeah, it's sort of a lot of conflicting thoughts. But I'm still rotating Hawke and Fenris and this fic in my mind even these years later... which for me is honestly pretty normal. I mean I have whole original novels/worldbuilding ideas/etc that I've worked on for 10-15 years in my own time haha, I've been writing fiction for fun since I was like 10, so I think I also just think of stories/writing across a bigger timeline than people who start writing with fanfiction (which is MUCH faster paced) than original fiction. The difference of course is no one sees my original stuff so there's no one to care if i take 2 years between chunks of progress. SO I guess what I am trying to say is, yes definitely it is not abandoned, I am plodding away at it bit by bit, I also hope I can finish it one day!!!! that is within this decade i hope! whether or not anyone else is left to read it but me haha
#i did spend the whole 3 hour car ride back from the mermaid meetup on monday listening to music i associate with hawke/fenris#and Imagining Scenes. if that helps#part of the challenge also is if i want to refresh myself on the fic every 6 months or so thats like 80k words to reread AHG...thats so man#but yeah#ramblings#my stuff#my writing#fallout from the fade#fftf#replies#isitdonproof#thank you for leaving the comment even if i dont reply to them (due to the Guilt) i still reread them now and then too :))) and they make me#oh and i forgot about the part where the word document got so long that it quit showing me spelling/grammer errors bc there were ''too many'#so i had to start. a second document lol#i use microsoft office 2007 (dont ask) and it wont let me add new words so all the thedas stuff overwhelmed it
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Trans girl Kazuichi x trans boy Gundham
and then Gundham had to get Kazuichi to pull over (I mean they weren't driving that fast and it was the middle of nowhere but you get the idea).
the car is a Datsun 510.
#soudam#kazuichi x gundham#kazuichi soda#kazuichi souda#gundham tanaka#my art#kazuichi is still unlearning traditional gender roles and comp masculinity but she's working on it!#like. she could have just offered to take Gundham on a ride without this idea of ''that's what boyfriends do right?'' she figures it out th#she doesn't think of gundham as ''a girl'' btw she just defaulted herself to ''guy'' by accident.#also the ''I'm around a guy so I have to act masculine" kind of thing creeps up for her and gundham's learning not to feed into that#might make a comic where they have more communication issues but this one was a smoother situation#also I'll work on writing gundham dialogue bc I am always so embarrassed about it. I always feel like he's ooc when I write him :/#but I was tired and the prompt was cars so this was mostly kazuichi-based. I'll work on gundham next time#this is a different au from my selfship and sondham not a polyship btw#I can tell you right now gundham's earring and the lightning bolt on his face might disappear/reappear bc I keep forgetting them
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so has anyone else experienced Thoughts about this blurb in dùrians desc or do i just need to be neutered
#eprocto#fell back into stupid cookie game and goddamnit. God damnit man#how dare you write this shit about fuckin junkřat cookie#like. okay Image for your mind#hes into it. like he feels good hes doing his horrible little giggle#literally hotboxing the train car hes in and he Loves it#i want to assign someone to be w him in this kinda scenario but like. Who#i need him to be shamelessly into it in front of somebody who plays along#especially if it can be like. them commenting on him in a top way and hes just a shameless bottom abt it#like riding their thigh with a smile while making it reek and being sorta praised for it#im so im So fucking normal. theres like fifteen characters rn and none feel Right#maybe i just need more story bullshit n ill see him and get ideas or sumn#anyways. Yeah i want that thing to start rippin ass#and i Need. to at least inflict this concept onto others for consideration
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HIIII ive seen you mention your ztd aftermath fic a few times in tags and id rly like to know more... feel free to yap about it im curious
Hiii hellooo SO!!! Something that always sticks out to me with fics that touch a little on the immediate post ztd reactions is that things just kind of sort themselves out and everyone chills out for a little bit which I cannot see happening like no wayyy it's okay for the purposes of other people's fics but personally I'm a staunch believer in effort going into the smallest things in life especially when it involves a group of people and especially when you're fucked up as they'd be after that and it's something I love exploring in my writings like expanding in gross detail on the more mundane ups and downs between all the high stakes stuff like I don't think they'd walk out of there working in harmony at allll there'd be so many factors going into how everyone would be thinking and how they'd interact with each other and how the lives they've lead would inform the new trauma after that and how each of them would react to their immediate circumstances like on a physical level
I mean. Diana is completely new to any of this stuff and she's supposed to just transition seamlessly into a sudden new commited relationship and a daughter her own age? Phi has not gotten a single break since she experienced the events of vlr and has a whole complex about where she comes from and she's supposed to feel uncomplicated joy at finding out these are her parents and that the motherfucker that made the virus that's been making her life hell for a week is related to her? It's just been one week for her and that's so long but so little too she'd still have a connection to most of her old life? That shit isn't true about Sigma what's he supposed to do since Akane lied to his face about not knowing what happened at the test site for decades? It's not even something she remembers doing to him but he remembers spending a lifetime with her I love the ztd booklet scene of them interacting during d-com he asks Akane not to let her future self lie to past him point blank and she just says what he wants to hear and Phi stands in silence like she can't wrap her head around why he thinks for even a second that she'd be honest about being honest but stil extending enough goodwill to silently wait and see if she will. the man would be having a whole crisis of faith
Where do they leave Sean? Should he just stay with Q-team wouldn't he need maintenance and therefore stay in contact at least with Sigma? Eric doesn't remember much so he'd shockingly be one of the most calm people there, he'd have to deal with some revelations but Sean informed them of it in a good enough way that he seemed to take it well enough and even if that's not true he's the most high masking mf of the entire cast he wouldn't let himself step on other people's toes, if anything he'd only be set off by how everyone would have something to hold against Mira now, she kills everyone once except Carlos and Akane and she doesn't remember but they do, in fact there being a serial killer in their midst memo never gets to c-team delta never tells the whole snail story to every team. Would Mira just turn herself in without any resistance? Wouldn't someone have to talk her into it or at least make sure that's what she's really going to do since the stakes are so high? It's her fucking fault rad-6 got out too the characters have no reason to trust she's just gonna beeline to a police station. Carlos would probably be fine for the most part but he wouldn't be around long to keep everyone else sane especially Junpei and Akane because he'd probably go check on Maria as soon as possible especially since we're led to believe avoiding the apocalypse helps her recover
Akane herself would be all sorts of fucked up about it, there'd be so much pressure on her by everyone there and she'd try to be forward thinking and work on the extremist stuff immediately without processing anything and overcompensate the new recent failure to foresee dange and her revictimization by being even more controlling and inconsiderate to the others which is an energy Junpei would match I think especially going off his enneagram they'd be immediatly set in like an unhealthy loop of behaviors that push each other's trauma buttons on accident until they're hurting cause they're both trying to rush things and put each other in idealized boxes they imagined and having things their way Junpei is gonna come off much worse probably cause he's not a pov character and he's canonically an underhanded asshole when he has reson to be and he would not trust akane or her brother wouldn't be trying to pull another fast one on him so soon especially if we assume he has restored memories of the c-team ending too he'd like get keyed up and paranoid of being away from her for even a second
There are so many logistics involved in transporting and keeping in contact with people while simultaneously making sure no one leaks any sensitive information and that's probably important for Crash Keys and would fall mostly on Aoi to keep track of but he would in my opinion not be doing very okay either be it out of separation anxiety a level of psychically feeling like shit because of what akane goes through or just stress from preparing for an apocalypse more likely all of the above lol And he'd be working with half the info everyone else has cause if Akane doesn't pace herself in passing the new info to him he's gonna snap
Like I don't think these issues would be a slow burn to boil over, I think everything would feel like it's all going wrong from the get go and that kind of stress can be palpable in a group setting even if they're not under direct threath of death anymore I mean that's what ptsd is it's when you get fight or flight or freeze levels of fear in an entirely safe environment due to perceived instability and then they'd eat and rest and deal with it better for the next day, be more functional and levelheaded about everything going forward and even perhaps apologize and help each other out, and they'd be like that for a good while until underlying issues start to surface again in individual relationships cough mostly the junepei cough
#a tag for asks#i low-key got the people watching sort of autism lately and the nuance of every social interaction is like my favorite thing to write about#with characters it's so fun to see how they'd react in a group situation and what each of their vernaculars would constitute of#how much grace they'd be willing to extend to basically strangers as opposed to whos close to them on what basis do they allow new people i#I love characterization so so much and I love putting it on those smallest of details they're everythingg to me#whos a wallflower and listens to others instead of adding to the conversation?#whos loud and just sort of saying whatever comes to mind instead of keeping on track to have a productive conversation?#who has perceived authority in this setting that will make others look to for directions?#who picks shotgun in the car ride home just so people won't see the full extent of the emotions they can't supress?#who infodumps their whole life to someone who was decent to them through this situation cause they lost their common sense a little bit?#I love it when charactersssss
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