#wow what a great idea to watch this at work lmao

[radcaduceus]

For context:

Ad

Nordo has 20 MacBooks he got from Matt

[hoshigray]

I told you I was going to do it and here I am lmao. Any who reader and Toji are bumming on the couch watching a movie within the movie there is a spicy scene involving 69 that is mediocre. It gives reader an idea to make a bet with Toji to see who can last the longest. Toji isn't budging at first but when the reader mentions that they want to do in the same position within the movie (something they never did before) he gladly accepts the challenge. I'll leave the plot and ending up to you love. I know you will work your magic for him.

69 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐒 𝐒𝐎 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐄 .ᐟ | toji fushiguro

hehehe ty jazz, i'll do my best for youuu ☆☆☆

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: Toji x fem/afab! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - masturbation (m! receiving) - 69 position - oral (f! + m! receiving) - impact play (spanking + f! receiving) - overstimulation - clitoral play (licking and sucking) - pet names (baby, doll, mama, pretty thing) - mention of saliva/spit. 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.9k

“Wow….this movie kinda sucks.”

“Mhm…Aye, y’re the one who wanted to watch this shit.” 

“Well, I mean, at least it’s…semi-enjoyable.”

Toji and you were sitting on the couch, winding down in the living room after a nourishing dinner. One of the many things you liked to do with your man was to watch movies, figuring that would be a perfect thing to do during the downtime to chill and huddle with your man. What you didn’t expect, however, was how underwhelming the movie seemed. 

It was one of those rated R movies batted around within the year, figuring now would be an ideal time to get to it. Welp, it was entertaining enough for you two to continue watching. Now, being midway through, it’s getting a little frustrating to deal with. 

“Oh, okay…” annnnnd now the film has transitioned to an abrupt sex scene….how great. “I guess this is why it’s rated R.”

The sex scene you two were watching was…average at best. You’ve seen way spicier scenes in your life — hell, literal cringey porn you’ve watched with your friends was heavily more explicit than this. There was the rushed kissing, the frantic clothes coming off, no amount of foreplay whatsoever — just heading right into it, exaggerated cries coming from the woman as the guy frantically humps her nude frame.

You observe the scene through a neutral gaze as you lay against Toji’s side, his arm stretched to your shoulder to keep you close. But then, your head tilts when something on the screen catches your attention. 

The camera pans to the guy’s face, who’s lying on the bed as the other straddles them, facing his lower half. For a few seconds, you can only see the guy’s face until the camera follows him going closer to the girl’s ass that’s hovered before him. His tongue sticks out before he propels his mouth to her bottom, and her muffled moans can be heard off-screen with his grunts. 

Loud, amateur sounds aside, the position sparked something for you to turn and ask the following to your boyfriend: “Hey, Toji?” He hums, feeling the vibration of his voice from your hand on his chest. “Have you ever done that position?”

You can see his eyebrows trench down — not bewildered by your question, but pondering how he could answer truthfully. “Mmm…I think so? Been a long while, though.”

You nod aimlessly with your eyes glued to the screen, hearing the woman’s whimpers get a bit louder as the guy grasps her ass while “eating her out.” The thought of being on top of Toji and his mouth and hands on your body like that, you had to bite the inside of your cheek to remind yourself not to get too—

“Why you ask; ya horny?” Well, you can’t be too modest around this man, huh. You finally turn to look at him, prepared for the smirk he greets you with. A smile is all you reply with. “Sorry, baby, I don’t know about tonight. Kinda tired.” 

For a few seconds, you’re on his side. You understand he’s a little fatigued from work today and only wants to chill with his partner. However, a tiny part of you – the devilish cutie side – takes over and slides your hand from his chest. Down to his hard abs covered by his black wife beater, stopping at his clothed inner thigh, resulting in him hitching his breath. 

“Tired?” You say in a soft tune, your eyes peering down to your hand as it rubs on his thigh, inching further and further in. You take note of Toji’s fingers tapping on your shoulder – a silent warning. “Are you sure about that?” 

“You better move that hand, Y/n.” His body jolts when your hand creeps up to his groin, motioning around it with provocative kneads. 

“Hmm, why?” You play coy, placing kisses on the underside of his chin. “You tired of me?” 

He throws his head back at your soft lips, attacking his neck while your hand comes to the hem of his sweatpants. A shaky breath is released at the contact of your cold fingers on his warm erection. “Hmmm…could never be tired of you….Ahhh,“ your forefinger swipes around the glans.

“Then what are you so scared of?” You keep pressing on, sucking on his skin under your lips. His length gets firmer under your grasp, veins grazed by your fingertips. “Scared you wouldn’t last longer than me?”

“Ohh, don’t play with me, Y/n,” Toji grunts, the hand on your shoulder grips your cardigan. His erect cock throbs on your palm, and precum begins to leak out from you, playing with the tip. “–Mmmph…I already told you I wasn’t feelin’ it tonight.”

Liar, you say to yourself, noting him breathing slowly while you massage his balls. “Please, Toji?” You ask sweetly to his ear, his hand coming down to your waist as you stroke him off. “I never done that position before, but it looks real fun…I wanna do it with you.” 

Toji doesn’t give in easily, looking at you with a raised brow. So you throw in another please with an innocent pout and two bats of the eyes to seal the deal. He chortles; how can he say no to you looking at him like that? “Bet I can make you lose within the first few minutes.” 

You beam at him, “Bet I can make you cum first.”

“Y’re not gonna last for very long, princess, I can promise you that.”

A smirk pulls your cheeks. “Let’s try it out then.”

And just like that, with a mutual agreement, the challenge was put to the test. 

So here you are, straddling on top of Toji on the living room couch, both your bottoms and his sweats on the cold floor. Your bare ass out in front of him to see as he lies with his head on the couch pillow. Your front facing his legs, and his dick erected for you to lick and suck on. 

It started slow in the beginning; Toji massages your asscheeks as you lick around the glans and stroke his girth. “Mmmm, just like that, mama,” he praises, egging you on to take in more of him. Your mouth bobbing up and down his shaft, gradually taking in inch by inch until your mouth reaches the hilt. “Fuuck, feels so good…”

You aren’t forgotten either, Toji starting with slow licks, his tongue lapping your labia. You mewl on his cock, voluntarily moving your hips to satiate the throbs of your cunt. Shit, you love it when he eats you out, but this position makes you turn on even more — unable to see what he’s doing, letting his hands and tongue speak for himself. 

And you have to give it to yourself; you mangled to survive for a little while! The first minute was just him warming you up, teasing your folds with swishes to get you real wet as you blow him, his fingers groping your ass as his thumb plays around your ass taint. It all had you riled up, rocking your lower half so much that the man had to station you still for him to feast on your wetness properly. 

It wasn’t until you felt his tongue brush up on your clitoris did shit get serious. One sharp, muffled gasp paired with a jolt from your body. Of course, Toji noticed, his grin coming from ear to ear. “Oh, did I do that?” Yes, you did, you bastard. “Heh, you are not ready for this, baby…”

He says this before stuffing his mouth back into your leaky chasm so his tongue could swirl around your slit with vigor so rough that you nearly choked on your gasp for air. “—Oohh!! W–Wait, Toji, not so—Ahhn!” Fast licks have you squirm, prompting your man to keep you on him with his hands on your waist. It’s hard to concentrate giving Toji a blowjob with him nibbling on your labia before throwing more laps on your clitoris. 

“Wait, Toji, s-stoop; I’m gonna—Nnaaah!” Your fingers clamp around his girth, howling as he bullies his tongue to enter your vagina, his face buried nose-deep in your ass while sucking on your genitals. “Fuuck, oh shit, I can’t…Ohh, ohhh!!”

And just like that, you release into his mouth before you could even prepare yourself. Your trembling figure jolts with every shock coursing through your body. And Toji drinks your essence with every passing wave, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you straddled above him. 

Oh fuck, the clarity you experience is mind-blowing every time he eats you out — whimpers escape pretty lips as your sensitive nerves still receive gingerly laps on your soapy folds. That felt way too good, oh my God…

But it doesn’t stop there — no, no. Not with Toji, too pleased with how he made your legs tremble before him. He snickers while spreading your folds, “Pretty thing, look at you winking at me...Nnmm, so fuckin’ good…”

He brings his mouth back to your cunt, and you jerk from the contact as your body is still not rid of the shocks from the previous orgasm. You frantically call for him, trying to writhe your ass away from him. “Ohhnn, Toji, wait, let me rest for a—Ahhhnn!!“

A sharp pain comes from an abrupt smack to your buttcheek, the skin stinging from the impact of Toji’s hand. “Aht, aht, don’t try and run now. You talked big earlier, even when I warned you.” He smacks your ass again, his fingers digging deep into your flesh to pinch. You scream for him — that’s what he wants. “Now you’re gonna sit right here and let the winner have his fill.” 

You can’t argue with him from there; Toji’s hold on you not giving in to your attempts of mercy — same for his mouth on your delicate labia. The noises coming from there are so raunchy, downright erotic, way more than whatever the hell that movie was doing. You could only wail out your cries, eyes spiraling up to your head from every lap to your clit. No point fighting the pleasure, resting your head on his thigh.

But that was short-lived because Toji was quick to correct you with another slap to your butt. Shit came out of nowhere, almost choking on your spit. “C’mon now, doll, you can’t leave me hangin’ here. Suck me off, princess.” He rubs the pain on your butt away, yet you know he’d do it again if you weren’t compliant.

You bring his fat cock back to your face, licking on the tip while stroking him. You take in the head and suck him in, bobbing your head and coating his length with your saliva. Kisses to his glans result in him burrowing his face into your ass again, hungry lips ravishing your tender insides. Jesus, the way his tongue flicks on your clit has you humming on his cock nonstop.

Oh, God, oh fuuuuck, you remove your lips from Toji’s dick, yet your hand keeps gliding up and down. “—Mwah! Hoohhh, oohhh, Tojiiii…! Again, I’m gonna cum, again….Khaa—Ohhhhh!!”

The second orgasm hits you hard, more keenly than the last, and your body quivers on top of Toji once again. Whines come from wet lips as you descend into your haze, and your toes curl as Toji doesn’t withdraw himself until he’s satiated his thirst with every remnant of your fluids. 

With every jolt and shock flowing down your frame, you use this time to let your body ride this high out, placing chaste kisses on Toji’s cock. That is until you feel Toji suck on your folds suddenly. You jump and quake, turning around to beg. “Stooohp; let me rest, please!”

He gives you a smug look with a playful smack to your hot, stinging butt. “Done being curious now, mama?”

requests/thirsts are open hehe~ 🧸

© 𝐇𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐲2024 – reblogs and comments are wholeheartedly appreciated ☆ dividers by @/benkeibear.

[meruz]

hi meruz please tell me all your thoughts on outer wilds I am absolutely Living rn

HI oh my god i have so many thoughts. I think I'm gonna keep posting fanart so this definitely isnt gonna be my last word on the matter but wow what a game! um... idk if I wanna just type forever but I can give you at least a few key thoughts I had...

It took me a second to get into! I had been waiting for the switch port so I was really excited starting out but there were a couple early play sessions months apart where I was struggling with the controls and overwhelmed with the openness...I have a hard time with a lot of open worlds games because I just..dont have a lot of free time LOL. But I was complaining abt this to my brother and he was also having a hard time rly digging into the game so when he flew over to visit me a couple weeks ago I was like ok lets do this together (incentivizing gaming by making it social/co-operative). And we had a blast!!! it rly is the type of game you can play as co-op just by having someone else on the couch or on stream doin the thinking alongside you or bouncing theories off of. I do think he's a much better puzzle solver than me though lol (he works in research, so he's got that researcher brain), he made a lot of the leaps of logic way early while I was still turning things over in my head lmao.... AND he's better with the controls because he plays a lot of flight sims?! i think he got annoyed watching me bumble around anytime i had the controller. my sole contribution was doing the stealthy parts in the dlc because im stupid and consequentially lack fear.

I kind of grew up playing majoras mask and windwaker like that was the era of zelda games I was rly activated and engaged for as a kid and I didn't realize how much I was missing and craving that type of experience again LOL. I think especially with how I personally felt that tears of the kingdom was narratively and structurally a step down from botw... idk... i mean you can tell from interviews abt Outer Wilds that the devs clearly have a lot of affection for and thoughts abt the Zelda series as well and I think Outer Wilds was like such a good encapsulation of everything I loved abt those games and also everything I wish they would do lol!! IT ALSO kind of solved a lot of my pain points with open world games and did it in a way that was so elegant... like I think i initially recoiled at the openness but then when i started exploring and realized the scope and level of detail it rly clicked into place.. im just in awe.

umm i love every hearthian they were all so charming. it rly did feel like an older school of nintendo rpg where every npc has so much personality lol. i loved that every alien race in the game was some weird animal like the designs for all of them were rly good. i love that it was a "worn" universe and that everything looked old or used. I love astronomy and space and space concepts but I don't really like really lofty and impersonal/minimalist scifi so i feel like this was a great and accessible art direction for me personally. i especially thought the backpacking/outerdoorsy aesthetic was really inspired! I think "exploration" sometimes exists on a spectrum where one end of it can be really colonialist/militaristic LOL... UM which im not like. fully against i think it can be an interesting idea to dissect? but i feel like we see it a lot and it was neat to see this which felt like the complete opposite end of that spectrum. weirdly enough playing Outer Wilds made me immediately go and finally finish Firewatch right after but I felt a little spoiled I was like ehh..that was good but it wasn't Outer Wilds LOL.

i think a lot of the themes reminded me of lord of the rings/tolkien lore LOL IDK. I GUESS THIS IS LIKE BIG SPOILERS SO if you havent played dont read but like. the entire concept of being born at the end of a great and enormous world/age with a rich history and you only getting to see the end of it, living in the shadow of great civilization...keeping your humble home in your heart idk. but then also the new world being a song ... I'm a sucker. I love it.

yeah sorry only compliments. anyways yeah i want to do more fanart... soon!! hopefully!

[matan4il]

911 ep 701 first watch reactions

(I don't think I have the energy to write proper Buddie meta, so here's me randomly squealing instead...)

LMAO In case you were wondering whether s7 of 911 will be subtle about their gratitude/debt to ABC for saving the show, the answer is a resounding no.

Also, I have lost a lot of respect for Frank as a shrink, but gained a lot of love for him as a sass king. "Did she win!?" The murderous look Athena gave him was priceless. I love her, too. She doesn't even need words to rule.

Man, nooooo. Don't give me a mutual "I love you" between Bobby and Athena like that.

"Go ahead and cut the green wire." Everyone and their sister: "Green? You said Red."

9-1-1 is the superior comedy they slipped into our drink, while we were here for our weekly action, suspense, drama and familial love.

Buck broke off with Natalia, and the show really did it like that. XD Every single person who rolled their eyes at this pairing during s6, we were all justified, but wow. The show really is the only forum to respect the pair even less than fandom does. And of course we find out about it in the middle of a scene built around Eddie being half naked, Buck watching him, with the camera specifically turning so we can discover Buck was initially covered by Eddie's body, and the angle change reveals him, when the whole thing wraps up with Eddie welcoming Buck back to the land of the living... Yeah, wonder what made Buck feel alive again. Don't know. 'Tis a mystery. We were given zero clues...

"I want the honeymoon life." *cries* Chimney is just such a good, good man. And okay, expecting your whole life to be a honeymoon's a bit unrealistic, but Madney are living together and they have a child. They know this. Chim knows this, but he still wants to go for it. Aim for the moon, you'll at least land among the stars, right?

Bobby baffled by Athena's reaction to Norman and Lola is hilarious.

I like how Chim has a great idea, but it's still obvious that it's gonna go wrong, because he can't help going overboard with it...

OMG, that scene with Eddie recounting to Buck what Christopher's date was like... If I were to write my Buddie meta, I would serve a three course meal just from that. I mean, the fact that watching Chris hanging out with a girl he likes, makes Eddie compare it to "hanging out with his guy friends" (when there's no lack of interest in this girl... in fact, it turns out that if anything, Christopher's problem is the opposite of a lack of interest) is so telling. There's a reason why that's where Eddie's mind went.

But then also... Eddie's trust in Buck got to me, the way he went to his best friend (not his own gf) for help with Chris. But that was still played with half a smile. But then Buck sort of disses himself jokingly, and Eddie won't have it. "You didn't end up like you." He sees how Buck worked on being a better person, even when Eddie wasn't there for the worst of it, and he appreciates it, and won't let Buck forget it. Meeeep. I love them.

Oh Chim. I was giving you so much credit, and then you went and bought that outdoors jacuzzi. lol Still love him. That's what Maddie's reminding herself of right now, too. ;p

Poor Hen, she was great in this ep, but none of it was really about her, she was comic relief, both with Chim and with the red wire. Then again, she was amazing in this, like she always is with everything.

Eddie and Buck were both so good with Chris this ep, MY HEART. Buck with getting him to talk about what's really bothering him, and Eddie with realizing exactly what his son needs, and how to give it to him. They completed each other. Neither one would be helping Chris without the other one. Tell me again how they're not soulmates?

In conclusion, I love Bobby saying, "Let's go prove one of us wrong," when they're both right. Something WAS going on with Norman and Lola, AND Athena was using them to avoid him.

Argh. That scene of the ship and its passengers being hijacked was rough to watch. </3 I'll still be here to watch the conclusion of this. That's the power of 9-1-1 for you.

It def felt like a great kick to the new season. We had lots of comedy and fun, some great tension, some emotional moments (especially with Christopher), but all in all, it's still clear that the whole thing's a build up to next week. Are you excited?

[jazzyblusnowflake]

You've got some cool headcanons for Nuzi and Vuzi, but what about the third? You got any for EnVy?

Wow i suck at answering these on time smh. sighhhh, in my defense i procrastinate answering some questions cuz i don't wanna just put together some random stuff and call it a day-

i actually wrote some stuff for some asks before but had to delete it last minute cuz i thought its worth putting more time than that, i guess TvT sorry, im probably taking this too seriously idk.

My eNVee headcanons TvT:

[yall know the drill, the drone versions only, the human versions aren’t involved, and no nsfw- for now.]

k so, light envuzi involved too, Uzi is the mediator here, whether u consider her a friend here or their mini toaster in the middle- also there's some of the stuff from my future version where V is safe and sound thankfully. and also maybe some stuff from their past too.

With how N was realizing that V was lying or hiding stuff from him in a constant manner, naturally he grew to grieve the loss of who V USED to be, and with that loss he tried to accept that he has to let her go, because the V he fell in love with was long gone. despite this, when they both started teasing each other over their relationship with Uzi and N started to bite back a bit at Vs behaviors with more self confidence, they grew to form a completely different kind of relationship. Uzi was just having fun seeing them try to win her over lmao; but in the end they kind of started enjoying eachothers company again. Uzi felt happy seeing them get closure for the things they went through and was more than happy to support them through it.

Back at the manor V was fixed up after J and N, she was one of the later drones added to the family, she hardly spent much time at the manor at all before the great yeetening happened- she was originally a maid drone for a family before she was broken and dumped in the drone corpse junkyard. Maid drones are programmed with sweet and soft AIs with more round/short body shapes to have a friendly image in a household, they are made to be able to deal with both adults and kids, and they are best made for cleaning and setting up the house in mind. N was made as a butler/chauffeur before getting broken and yeeted in the junkyard [yes he can drive]. Due to V getting broken for some sort of mistake during work, she was left scarred after her reboot to make any more mistakes, which left her slightly jitter-ish and clumsy. Tessa put N in charge to help her around and although at the beginning V didn't talk much and felt unsure, slowly N became her safe space- especially since Tessas abusive parents remind V alot of her old household. N in turn thought V was always cute, he helped her with her work, having more steady hands, which ended with a lot more hand touching and blushing on both their ends :p

N was the one that suggested glasses for V which Tessa decided to try doing to see if it would help her visual efficiency in any way, and it did. V as a DD often tries to rely on her real eyes rather than look through her main visor, the glasses remind her too much of N...

N and V sometimes used to get out of the manor in secret spots to spend some time away from the chaos to help V calm down. during this time they would read books, learn stuff from each others past lives, and sometimes draw lol, but V just liked watching and listening to N, she felt happy with him. although unlike N, V felt a bit nervous around the animals in the area XD

N and V actually have shared kisses, just not on the lips. with N kissing her on the back of her hand as a gentleman and V giving him kisses on his cheek [Tessa's idea of a cute plan to put them under a mistletoe lol], but Vs last words to N was a promise to give him a kiss before she became comatose. as more drones in the manor stopped working and Ns efficiency and work became less useful to the manors occupants due to him wanting to spend time with V all the time, Louisa and James started becoming more impatient with Tessa's drones, which lead to the whole "get rid of them" line...

back in the current time V is obviously trying to protect N in her own traumatized way; but even then, most of the things she had done to "shelter" N, was probably not the best choice one could make, and some of it was done out of jealousy towards N and Uzi getting closer. However, slowly she started convincing herself that N deserved someone like Uzi. V had convinced herself that she deserves nothing. She was willing to give up everything for N and keep him safe from the beginning, even if it meant knocking N down a few limbs/heads just to keep him away from danger- which is problematic in itself. she made choices based off fear and urgency. she was always traumatized.

When N and V started getting along together a bit more and hanging around a bit in the human cities- V takes N to a bookstore she found once and they spent the whole day in the shelter of the store reading different old books. V still does not admit she did this to see N happy again lol.

When N started showing V affection again, V started becoming heavily touch starved and dependent on him again, just like the manor days, which she feared, which caused a minor set back for a while where she tried to avoid N. Uzi had to come and fix this shit cuz apparently only she can scold 2 dinosaurs without feeling intimidated. after N and V kiss for the first time PROPERLY after the whole solver BS ends, V just gets more touch starved and she hates both N AND Uzi for this lmao.

N and Uzi know that one of the only ways to make V calm down is to act soft with her, occasionally praising her and calling her nice things; even when V is literally threatening to bite their head off- [shes bluffing-.......mostly.]

N is usually the one that initiates any closeness with V. after their first kiss, N does tell her that she's done stuff that he might not be able to casually forgive, but at the same time he has seen her grow, and she does have good in her that he still loves her for.

V has nightmares and hardly ever sleeps, and when she does, its usually cuddling N or Uzi.

V tries to wear her glasses more often in the future. N likes it a lot :"3

V is surprisingly a good mom :p [spoilers for my au lmao bye] but yeah, since her original OS was for a maid, she still has some functions to be good with little ones. she cant help herself, she just really likes babies and kids.

N likes sometimes ballroom dancing with V for old times sake...

[i think this is as far as my brain will allow me, please excuse me as i jump off a cliff :") ]

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: The Eclipse OGMMTVC Rewatch to Reexamine "Genre BLs," Along With a Critical Take on Branded Ships

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I take a look at my very first GMMTV series that I ever watched, The Eclipse, to examine its prowess as a "genre" BL, and to take a critical stab at the branded ship model vis à vis a successful narrative.]

HELLO. Due to BIG SUMMER LIFE (!!!) (WOW -- work trips, work changes, new projects, the regular family stuff, so much travel!), I've been a couple months delayed on getting some words down on my recent rewatch of The Eclipse for my Old GMMTV Challenge project, but I'm glad to take some time now to talk about this show.

I'm at a point in the project where my syllabus (pasted at the bottom of this post) will take me into the territory of many shows that I've already watched since starting my Thai BL journey in the fall of 2022, shows that I watched while they were airing, such as Moonlight Chicken, Bed Friend, Be My Favorite, and others. (I will be offering short, non-rewatch notes on some of these shows as I go along in the chronology.) The Eclipse is one of these.

I wanted to specifically give The Eclipse a full rewatch for a couple of reasons, the biggest one being very personal, in that The Eclipse was my very first ever-EVER GMMTV series (!!!). And, the only Thai BL I had watched, in the late summer and fall of 2022, prior to The Eclipse was KinnPorsche.

So! At the time of my watching The Eclipse in 2022, I had nooooo idea who First Kanaphan or Khaotung Thanawat were; I didn't know about the existence of branded ships in Thai BLs yet; I didn't know about the prevalence and regularity of side couples in Thai BLs, as VegasPete had been my first exposure to that; I didn't effing know about the fabulousity that is Neo Trai, none of it.

I simply just watched the show on the recommendation of a dear mutual. And, fuck, man, I totally had expected WAY more salacious material in The Eclipse coming off of KinnPorsche! At first, I was like, Thailand is WILDIN', and then it was just the GMMTV-PG FirstKhao smooches, which was fine, they were great, ha! I wasn't disappointed, but lmao, that was my mindset and understanding of my very brief introduction to Thai BLs at that very moment -- I thought it was all guns and butts and mafiosos and pool sex.

Besides rewatching The Eclipse with my now-very-experienced Thai BL glasses on to fix ALL of those past assumptions, I also wanted to rewatch the show in the understanding that filmmaker and former politician, Golf Tanwarin (the first transgender member of parliament in Thailand's House of Representatives) was addressing homophobia and leveraging their screenplay to talk about themes of stifling conformation in Thai society vis à vis the fictional environment of the Suppalo boys school. I want to demarcate this moment as an important one: at this point of my syllabus, the late summer and fall of 2022, the Thai BL landscape exists still mostly within the no-homophobia bubble, with only a handful of shows (He's Coming To Me, Secret Crush On You, etc.) stepping out of that bubble to grab the theme of homophobia and really wrangle with it frontally by way of familial and social acceptance.

However, I have to admit something as I write this review. During this recent rewatch, I had the benefit not just of my past historical chronological viewing of old shows behind me to judge The Eclipse's success as a show and as a messenger of deeper themes past straightforward romance; but I also had the benefit of foresight into the future, seeing how First and Khao served as a branded couple again in Only Friends, a series that, I believe, flopped in its narrative end due to the show prioritizing happy endings for its branded couples, rather than taking the time and the risks to break the branded ships up (or, at least, rock their foundations) to offer sophisticated social commentary on casual sex, as the initial marketing for Only Friends had initially promised.

In other words, I had critical glasses on for FirstKhao's performance, not necessarily for the actors themselves (well, kinda, lemme be for real), but I also wanted to understand better how The Eclipse centered THEM as an IT, a tangible IT, the branded ship, either against and/or vis à vis Golf's underlying critical messaging on social conformity and homophobia.

Unfortunately, through that critical lens, what I gained out of this rewatch of The Eclipse is a confirmed judgement that the common Thai BL structure of very much CENTERING a branded ship, especially emanating out of GMMTV, the central home for branded ships in Thailand, will almost CERTAINLY render a show attempting to make higher messages a weaker one in the end.

I found myself FULLY enjoying The Eclipse out of the FirstKhao sequences. When I first watched The Eclipse in 2022, I was a Thua hater, and I engaged for the very first time with @respectthepetty and others on subsequent defenses of Thua's outing of Akk and Ayan in the context of Akk and Ayan acting like loose-cannon-dillholes themselves. (This was a fabulous intro to my engaging with others on Tumblr, by the way, and I remember this discourse fondly!)

This time around, with the blessing of hindsight, I fully appreciated Louis Thanawin's FANTASTIC performance at the end of the series, as an overly frustrated and overwhelmed student wrangling with his sexuality, his attraction to Kan, and watching Kan's own struggles with his own sexuality, along with dealing with an overbearing stepfather -- and all of that happening while he was watching the hypocrisy of Akk slowly warming to Ayan, while Akk simultaneously punished The World Remembers gang. Louis, as Thua, fucking nailed it, and was an utter cutie at the end with Kan (including in Our Skyy 2, swoon). And forget about Neo Trai: Neo as Kan was one of the best performances I've seen of Neo's, as a student struggling literally to the second to manage his outward displays of automatic attraction to Thua for the sake of maintaining a façade of "order" for the Suppalo environment.

How does all of this impact my thoughts on FirstKhao as a branded ship, and AkkAyan as a fictional couple in The Eclipse?

There was so much great commentary on mental health, on social pressures and conformity, and on the reliance of history to contextualize and engage in suppression, in this show. The show hit hard and impactfully on these themes. As I just mentioned, the story of Thua was a welcome inclusion of the various ways in which homophobia impacted the Suppalo environment on micro- and macro-levels. The story of Dika is also gutting, and I appreciated The Eclipse for never turning an eye away from Ayan's continued suffering at losing his uncle so traumatically. (I also understand that there was quite a lot of conservative protest against The Eclipse in Thailand, and that the show being shortened by two episodes may have been related to this, along with the show airing during ongoing student protests.)

Unfortunately, I believe The Eclipse tripped on itself when it stepped away from these themes to move to more lighthearted moments with AkkAyan. I think the centering of this ship led to a number of key unfulfilled narrative moments, including a key factual skip later in the series, when Ayan indicates to Akk that Akk had made a promise to reveal his work against The World Remembers, a promise that did not have prior reference in earlier episodes.

This isn't to say that a budding couple can't have sweet moments. And we saw a tremendous amount of trauma coming from both Akk and Ayan, with Ayan's ongoing anger at Suppalo, and Akk's fear of rejection for his and his family's financial state, leading him to embody Suppalo's culture of suppression for the sake of his own survival at the school. These very-deeply messed-up fictional boys absolutely deserved and needed love.

But I found myself taking the most notes on this show when I felt the tones of previous scenes of protest, trauma, or attack were juxtaposed against getting Akk and Ayan together for a subsequent scene, especially later in the series, when their flirtation continued to grow. I felt this particularly during the outdoor Twitter scene in the bleachers, when Akk and Ayan were using tweets as a means of finding out who was running the counterprotest Twitter account, which was placed right after a particularly brutal attack against The World Remembers. I needed to flip my emotional attention back to a practiced GMMTV routine of watching a ship continue to warm up to each other for memorable and meme-able moments, and I found that juxtaposition jarring.

As opposed to Not Me, GMMTV's first "genre" BL that played with a sandbox outside of romance, The Eclipse was on steadier feet. While Not Me really tried to play around de-centering a shipped pair in OffGun, it truly stumbled in rushing back to inject romance throughout the storyline, particularly with DanYok taking up unexpected and discordant room (ACAB, YOK). And outside of GMMTV, we've seen many "genre" BLs actually work really well, most notably to that point in 2022, the crime-driven Manner of Death (MaxTul, my beloved), which balanced a developing romance with a legitimately interesting and unwinding mystery, all with a sharp and solid screenplay that didn't stray from its intended purpose. (Maybe I'm getting my hopes up too soon, but we're seeing "genre" BL doing well right now with 4 Minutes, and GMMTV has another, riskier, "genre" BL coming up in its crime-driven series, Kidnap.)

GMMTV, however, demands something economically from its shows, a sellable final product that can be transmogrified into fan meetings, branded items, and most of all, enduring and memorable legacies for the branded ships that center most of its BLs. At the time of The Eclipse's airing, both First and Khao had been previously paired with others (First with Gawin Caskey in Not Me; Khao with Podd Suphakorn in Tonhon Chonlotee), and the sao wais had been eagerly awaiting the debut of FirstKhao, and were fed nicely.

I can't say, quantifiably, if the majority of the global Thai BL fandom, or even the majority of the GMMTV fandom, are sao wais who only watch GMMTV shows for branded ships and guaranteed happy endings between shipped actors that only partner with the same person over and over again. I also believe that at this moment in time (in 2024), that we may be seeing differences in preferences emanating from fandoms based in Thailand, China, elsewhere in Asia, and globally, particularly in Europe and North and South America, between fans that will willingly support branded ships through very bad narrative shows, versus fans that prefer well-scripted shows above all else.

I think, after the economic earthquake that was the airing of 2gether in 2020, that GMMTV made a hard-turn decision to prioritize series that centered repeating branded ships above all other kinds of investment in other shows, including excellent screenplays.

I say this not to bemoan the opportunity for Thai filmmakers to have economic success. If these shows are making coin for Thai creatives -- maybe even the kind of coin that will allow these creatives to have more artistic freedom in their futures -- then I cannot begrudge that at all, and I wish these artists economic success.

But from a critical viewpoint of artistically narrative success, I'd argue that the last truly great narrative show of GMMTV's portfolio is 2021-22's Bad Buddy, featuring a branded ship in OhmNanon that I'm sure the network wanted to use again, one that both Nanon Korapat and Ohm Pawat knew they didn't want to repeat. Since then, while we've had a small amount of storytelling gems out of GMMTV like Moonlight Chicken, Cherry Magic Thailand, and Cooking Crush, most of what's come out of that studio has been mediocre for the past few years, with some aching stumbles having been had in shows like 23.5, Wandee Goodday, and My Love Mix-Up Thailand, which is airing now.

A major complaint across social media right now about My Love Mix-Up Thailand, centering Gemini Norawit and Fourth Nattawat, is that the show rushes to create meme-able moments between them, which is more in line with GMMTV's bottom line of engagement first. My Love Mix-Up/Kieta Hatsukoi is an utterly beloved Japanese manga and dorama. While G4 fans are drumming up the level of social media engagement that GMMTV judges "success" on, many other general BL fans have been left disappointed by the show's pulling back from honoring certain moments of hilarity and connection with the original Japanese source material (how could Fourth NOT go into the trash can?!).

I posit that it was 2gether's 2020 airing that encouraged GMMTV to make the pivot from investing in well-crafted screenplays, and taking risks to split ships up -- as the network did with Tay Tawan in 2019's 3 Will Be Free -- to center the branded ships.

And I think 2022's The Eclipse is an excellent example of the result of this decision-making: that while The Eclipse's core ideas within its screenplay were admirable, and much of the acting and romance outside of the branded ship were great to watch, that the show's needing to leave the central path of the narrative central story to spotlight the FirstKhao ship to create engagement-worthy moments ultimately took power away from the show and its message.

Only Friends -- a late-2023 show that initially marketed itself on breaking up ships and celebrating casual sex -- came back around in the end to scold any of us fans that wanted to see the ships sink. The dynamic between First and Khao in Only Friends was incredibly similar to their dynamic in The Eclipse: First acting as a tough-guy character who couldn't help being simp-ly swept away by an overpowering character played by Khao. I'm afraid the same will be repeated again in Jojo Tichakorn's next show, The Heart Killers, and I'd like to be proven wrong there, but.

It's incredible for me to reflect on what I know now about The Eclipse, and how this otherwise-excellent show was, in my eyes, economically impacted by the casting decision to prioritize a branded ship over the narrative cohesiveness of a screenplay. GMMTV has only committed even more to this path since The Eclipse's airing.

For the sake of excellent actors like First, and especially Khao: I hope they can have the future opportunity to spread their wings and act with other actors (as the very extreme majority of actors in entertainment get to enjoy), to shake off the economic prioritizing of branded ships in order to access better screenplays and stories. They deserve it, as hard-working creatives, and I'll certainly support them outside of the branded ship model, one that I believe is showing artistic wear and tear as more branded ship shows keep narratively sinking.

[Alright! So, where am I on the OGMMTV list? I've actually already finished the next show on my list, GAP The Series, this summer, and I hope I can pen that review in short order to get this series back on some kind of timely track.

HOWEVER, HEH HEH, that's actually going to be a bit difficult for me as, per the recommendation of a couple of BL elders, I am backtracking chronologically and tackling 2022's The Miracle of Teddy Bear, Thailand's first queer primetime, broadcast channel-level lakorn, which consists of 16 90-minute episodes, which, woof. Despite its hefty length, I am terribly excited to watch a show (a lakorn, EEEE!) out of the usual Thai BL bubble, one that I understand has been potentially misunderstood and/or mis-marketed to BL fandoms over the years. For the sake of its primetime airing alone, it holds an important place on the OGMMTVC syllabus. And I can't wait to take a crack at a Thai major channel's first attempt to make queer content and BL-genre-influenced content a primetime offering.

This means that, once again, My School President has been held at a delay, but I will get to MSP soon, I SWEAR! (And....oops. I'm thiiiiiinking that I might watch My Love Mix-Up after MSP at literal warp speed, literally 1.5x, to do another piece on branded ships vis à vis G4 and Au Kornprom in 2022 vs. 2024. We'll see. I may not wanna do that to myself, but... but! For science?!?! Maybe.)

Here's the updated OGMMTVC syllabus for your perusal. ONWARDS!

1) The Love of Siam (2007) (movie) (review here) 2) My Bromance (2014) (movie) (review here) 3) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 4) Gay OK Bangkok Season 1 (2016) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 5) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 6) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 7) Gay OK Bangkok Season 2 (2017) (a non-BL queer series directed by Jojo Tichakorn and written by Aof Noppharnach) (review here) 8) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 9) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 10) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 11) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 12) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 13) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 14) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 15) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 16) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (OffGun BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 17) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 18) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (a non-BL and an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 19) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 20) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (review here) (and notes on my UWMA rewatch here)

21) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (review here) 22) I Told Sunset About You (2020) (review here) 23) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) (review here) 24) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (review here) 25) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 26) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (re-review here) 27) Lovely Writer (2021) (review here) 28) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) (review here) 29) I Promised You the Moon (2021) (review here) 30) Not Me (2021-2022) (review here)

31) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 32) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021-2022) (not a BL, but a GMMTV drama that features a macro BL storyline about shipper culture and the BL industry) (review here) 33) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch (Links to the BBS OGMMTVC Meta Series are here: preamble here, part 1, part 2, part 3a, part 3b, and part 4) 34) Secret Crush On You (2022) (review here) 35) The Miracle of Teddy Bear (2022) (watching) 36) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here)  37) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For the Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist (part 1 and part 2) 38) Honorable Mention: War of Y (2022) (for the sake of an attempt to provide meta BL commentary within a BL in the modern BL era), with a complementary watch of Aam Anusorn’s documentary, BL: Broken Fantasy (2020) (thoughts here) 39) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 40) The Eclipse OGMMTVC Rewatch to Reexamine "Genre BLs," Along With a Critical Take on Branded Ships

41) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) (review coming) 42) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 43) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 44) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) 45) La Pluie (2023) (review coming) 46) Be My Favorite (2023) (tag here) (I’m including this for BMF’s sophisticated commentary on Krist’s career past as a BL icon) 47) Wedding Plan (2023) (Recommended as an important trajectory in the course of MAME’s work and influence from TharnType) 48) Only Friends (2023) (tag here) (not technically a BL, but it certainly became one in the end) 49) Last Twilight (2023-24) (tag here) (on the list as Thailand’s first major BL to center disability, successfully or otherwise) 50) Cherry Magic Thailand (2023-24) (tag here) (on the list as the first major Japanese-to-Thai drama adaptation, featuring the comeback of TayNew)

51) Ossan’s Love Returns (2024) (adding for the EarthMix cameo and the eventual Thai remake) 52) Dead Friend Forever (2024) (thoughts here) 53) 23.5 (2024) (GMMTV’s first GL) (thoughts here)]

[helloworldjj]

no thoughts only tsukasa and the way he emphatically includes anyone without a second thought

he may be just the littlest bit dense and overwhelming when interacting with others but he has that bright-eyed enthusiasm and willingness to accept others wholeheartedly that reminds me of how younger kids are. and not in a “wow he’s so childish and immature” way. he’s just so BRIGHT and unapologetically himself in the way that kids who are beginning to experience the world tend to be. and that’s such a perfect contrast to the rest of the cautious heart class.

despite his childhood loneliness, his personality wasn’t dampened and he’s honestly not what you’d describe as “cautious” lmao. he kinda skipped that phase where kids become self-conscious of their actions and suppress themselves for the sake of fulfilling expectations. whereas the others in the aptly named cautious heart class have aren’t as true to themselves in some way and are working to be more so

mafuyu, trying to find herself again and obviously having her “good girl” persona

honami, working to stand for her own opinions and ideas instead of always appeasing everyone

kohane, learning to be more out there and to stop worrying about what everybody thinks so much

haruka, always being in idol-mode and realizing that it’s okay to take breaks from that. (her story is different from shizuku’s and how shizuku previously had to hide her clumsiness and whatnot to be the perfect idol in Cheerful*Days, but I think that naturally as an idol, there’s going to be discrepancy between Haruka as a person and Haruka in the eyes of others/fans. this is very apparent in the miya girls school festival event where a girl tells haruka that she’s realized haruka isn’t some unapproachable professional idol that people think her to be. saki inviting haruka to the event committee provided haruka the opportunity to relax and show the less serious, regular-high-school-girl side of herself)

at first glance, tsukasa might seem like he’s an outlier in the cautious heart class. but in actuality, he fits so well because he’s just so great at encouraging the rest of the class to throw away any “cautions” about fitting into a certain expectation and just be themselves instead. obviously he himself doesn’t seem to care much about what others think of him, so he shows the others that it’s not so bad to put yourself out there

hence why he seems to be leading the class in the MV (when I watched it, I initially found it odd that he was so prominent lmao. I have thoughts on rui’s placement in the MV as well but i feel like that’s gonna turn out to be another long ramble LMAO)

tsukasa tenma, you endearing, endearing little man <3

[sillystappen]

I have gathered that some of yall like my maxiel sims. Well good news folks, they kissed in Max’s room! It was cute and slightly awkward in the way you’d expect them to be and I am proud of them. But Max fell asleep immediately after lmao.

Here’s a little scene I wrote basically detailing what happened:

It’s been a long day, for both of them. Daniel is still worried about his job in general and the late hours are starting to get to him, while Max is so close to a promotion he can taste it, and yet it’s still not his.

During the 3 hours between 5pm and 8pm where Max is usually home alone, Max hit the gym Daniel likes to go to. It was fine, but Max really does not like the cringey pop music they insist on playing. Perhaps they should get a home gym instead and change the music to something else? By the time Max got back at 8:30pm he was sweaty and tired.

He saw Daniel in the kitchen and said a quick hello to him before beelining to his shower and getting clean. He took his time, and faintly heard Daniel come into his room and borrow his computer.

Daniel. To be honest, Max had no idea what to expect when they moved in together and was very pleased with the fact that Daniel is such a great housemate. They became fast friends, and that really solidified when Daniel burnt the stove while making toast and Max had to save him. Not a fond memory for either of them but it brought them together.

So, it’s no surprise they became close. They’d sit close together, hug a lot and share things about their day. Then, perhaps it’s also not a surprise that Max started to be interested in Daniel… romantically.

It really was as simple as just watching TV together and goofing around, when Daniel, the ever mischievous goof, decided to tickle him and Max laughed so hard his cheeks hurt. When he looked at Daniel, he saw the same expression mirrored on to his face. And he looked beautiful.

He’s pretty sure Daniel likes him too. They’re just as bad as each other and if anything, he’s the one who is making more ‘moves’ so to speak. He flirts and teases Max but also likes to just be so kind and gentle, checking in on him and making him happy. Max blushes at the memory and Daniel and him sitting on his bed at 2am just saying simple sweet nothings to each other.

Max hops out the shower and pulls on his pajamas, just hoping to crash into bed. He sees Daniel at his desk working on something and smiles at him, slipping under the covers and closing his eyes. The domestic feeling he gets in this situation is comforting, just like Daniel as a whole, and that’s when Max decides that fuck it, he needs to confront these feelings and get them stop dancing around each other.

Max gets out of bed, tired but determined, and stands up just as Daniel is about to leave and kisses him then and there.

It’s not like Max is the most experienced kisser but he knows what he’s doing. He leaves it just soft enough for Daniel to push him away if he wants to, but he doubts it. He does feel Daniel’s surprise but also feels him relax and kiss him back and wow, a kiss has never felt like this. It’s warm and lovely, making Max’s heart thump in his chest. Max savours every second.

Eventually, Max pulls away and sees Daniel chase after his lips which makes Max giggle. “It’s late, love,” he says, “I have to be up early as much as I would love to do more with you.”

“Yeah, ok,” Daniel says, sounding a little breathless, “but just so I know, this wasn’t a one-time thing, right?”

“Of course not,” Max reassures, “I like you Daniel.”

“And I like you too, Max.” Daniel smiles at him before closing the door on his way out.

Max flops back into his bed and sighs contentedly, falling asleep not long after.

[atrophiedemotion]

Castor how do we. How do we convince everyone in the whole wide world that Ivan isn't a masochistic individual that only wishes to gratify himself. How do we convince everyone that he wasn't trying to kill Till in round 6. How do we convince everyone that he didn't want to do anything to Till in that casino-karaoke-bar and was just trying to comfort Till and himself from what they just had to gone through. How do we convince everyone that Ivan is actually just very mentally ill and has trouble when it comes to interacting others and Till

Good anaylsis posts btw

*cracks knuckles* you came to the right place, fellow ivan understander. that's honestly the main reason i make my analysis posts, to try to express the humanity in ivan. because he is an incredibly written character and all of those mischaracterizations you're describing are so far from the truth it hurts.

at a base level, there’s a whole thing to be said about the way people treat/view mentally ill individuals (especially those with stigmatized disorders) that plays into this (ivan has undesirable traits due to mental illness that many just decide to write off as him “being a freak” and romanticizing/sexualizing it instead of trying to understand) but i won’t get it into that here

i think the thing with ivan is that because he can't experience emotion or express himself in conventional or "normal" ways, it takes proper reading into (cough. media literacy) to understand his character. you can't just watch the content and immediately get his motivations and personality, it takes multiple watch throughs, knowledge of the extra content, and taking his past into consideration to get a clearer picture.

this is true for every alnst character and video ofc, but the reason it's such a big thing for ivan is because his outward personality post meteor shower incident is a fabrication. the entire point of us getting glimpses into ivan's mind is so that we can see that he ISN'T what he portrays himself as. and this goes for more than just his charismatic personality- it goes for the unusual ways he expresses himself.

we see ivan as a contradiction. we see both the 'perfect' person he wants people to see and the extremely flawed person he sees himself as. neither are completely accurate. ivan's view of himself is so skewed it's unreliable. the only way to truly understand him is to put the work in to find out why.

this isn't exactly an answer to your question/plea, but i've been asking myself the same thing for months. ivan is a really complicated character, more complicated than most people care to fully dig into. in fanon (from what i've seen) he seems to fall into two categories: the persona he puts on, and an "obsessive insane freak". both are very baseline things we see, because that's how ivan sees himself. fake on the outside and a 'shitty' person on the inside.

to me, the point of ivan's character is to look past both of those. to question them and his actions, to wonder what his motivations are. once you get to the point of "oh wow, this was all either for the purpose of survival or because he literally has no idea how to interact with people", things become a lot clearer. we just have to hope people can make the effort to read into things, i guess.

(thank you! great ask, i've been rotating it around in my head for like an hour lmao)

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 17 thoughts

omg!! after complaining of lack a of scully last time, this episode’s description specifically mentions her by name- and with a priest, too! is it time for scully catholic lore?! i am so excited! i fear i should lower my expectations, but it sounds promising!

it’s been a solid week since i’ve watched an episode, so i’m ready to dive in. 

post episode thoughts: idk, this one didn't really do it for me. and i don't know exactly what "it" is. despite checking many of the boxes that i think personally make a great episode (solo scully time and catholic guilt to name a few) this one felt just... too dark and convoluted for me. i literally had no idea what was going on, and then when i started to pick up on it, we circled back to the emily story, which still makes me feel very frustrated and i feel they could have handled it so much better. it also, once again, denies scully any autonomy, which is very frustrating.

surprisingly, in this scully-centric episode, the MVP for me was... mulder? yes, i'm genuinely shocked. he was so protective and caring even while being very grumpy. the way he leaned in to grab her shoulder... calling her back in the rain... gently teasing her and then realizing it wasn't a teasing sort of situation... wow.

and also, as i mentioned before, he looked really good. arguably at his best here.

(this might be my longest post so far LMAO)

very dramatic music is playing as this priest arrives at a house to baptize a young girl. i actually know very little about the whole baptismal process, so maybe this is accurate and maybe it’s not.

this girl, dara, has been baptized, and now the thunder is going wild, which seems spooky. 

also, she either has 6 toes or i cannot count.

did she get out of bed on her own despite not being able to walk before??? and now she’s walking towards a scary man while hearing evil voices. 

she’s on her knees praying to this guy who her father cannot see…. and HER EYEBALLS ARE BURNT OUT OF HER HEAD????????

huh. hey. a lot of things just happened very quickly. 

did the holy water burn her eyes? is she supposed to be a demon? i thought they were going to go with the “holy water healed her” route, which has its own problematic implications, but whatever these implications are, i’m lost. 

(author's note: and i was going to stay lost <3)

shortened intro, i clock you each and every time

scully is entering a church!!! she has on a blouse and not a suit, which feels strange. OHHH, SHE PULLS OUT THE BABY PICTURE OF MELISSA :(

god. she keeps it on her. i'm emotional.

it’s confession time. she’s talking to the confessor about her FBI work coming in conflict with her beliefs. it was father mccue who we saw before baptizing dara, and he said this family needed scully's help. hmm... what for?

scully is crying. OH MY GOD “father, i had a daughter who died” <- WHAT?? ARE THEY ACTUALLY GOING TO ACKNOWLEDGE THIS?????

i'm shook. i thought we were simply never going to speak of emily again.

so father mccue thought that helping this family would help scully process her grief… 

SHE’S SAYING SHE DOESN’T KNOW IF HE CAN OFFER FORGIVENESS? SHE LET A GIRL DIE??

woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, let’s go back a few steps……. oh my god. did scully need more grief to wear like an iron backpack? NO. WHAT HAPPENED HERE???

let a girl die. what. i just cannot imagine scully "letting" this happen??

a week earlier she had gone to easter mass. and she looks so beautiful in white and cream :,)

father mccue wants to speak to her in private. this church seems like it’s hopping, so it must be pretty important.

she’s been coming more often!!! :,) aww i'm happy for her. don't tease her too much father mccue, i'm watching...

but he needs her help. the kernofs lost their daughter dara in a very strange situation. and he thinks that her words might help them.

she looks so pained at this moment. but she goes anyway. god. god. scully. feeling obligated to help despite visibly not wanting to. knowing it will tear her open again. and doing it anyway.

frankly, it seems a bit cruel of father mccue to send her on this mission, but maybe he sees things with a lens i, a mere layperson, cannot

she’s chatting with the couple and they’re explaining how they adopted dara. lance (the father) is angry at god. 

they’re saying she might have been struck by lightning??? she was wheelchair bound and somehow got up, walked out, and was praying. struck by lighting... that would be so weird

the mother says something about god letting this happen to an innocent girl and god. emily. i am still mad at your plot line for feminist reasons, but grief. new grief and old grief and inexplicable screaming at the sky.

back in the confessional booth, scully says she felt drawn to the couple. they were angry at god, and so was she, although she refuses to say that.

“as much as i have my faith, father, i am a scientist. trained to weight evidence. but science only teaches us how… not why” <- OHHHHHHH toss that in the bucket of quotes i will use to psychoanalyze dana scully forever and ever

now she’s chatting with the doctor, who also says that maybe dara was struck by lightning. she asks if scully is religious, and scully replies with “why do you ask?”, which i think is very interesting as a character choice for her to put that space between directly answering. especially since they're in a lab setting. it's less of a pause of making a purposeful separation between faith and science, imo, and more of a cautiousness that comes from thinking her faith will somehow be taken advantage of. but it’s also funny because her cross necklace is very visible. so. you can guess the answer to that question.

dara was found genuflecting??? even in death. and there’s a scar on her hand from where an extra finger was removed. but i def saw an extra toe earlier.

no other signs of trauma… “it’s as if god himself struck her down” oh…

this is going to be a very un-fun time for scully.

who is this man with an upside down cross in his car, entering a psychiatric hospital?

there’s another girl in the hospital, who also has extra fingers. it seems this new father gregory character has come to adopt this paula! but there was a mix-up. there was no approval from the social worker, and he cannot take her home until the paperwork is in order.

but social worker seems like he is lying… based on that zoom in shot…. i know this show and its narrative tricks...

scully is at home looking at the photos of dara, then pulling out the photo of melissa :( oh god :( she really has lost so much :(

she’s biting back tears as she answers the phone. she must be really out of it, because she answered with “hello” and not “scully” like always :(

it’s mulder, somewhere in a phone booth in the pouring rain! oh god bless that man, finding a phone booth to call her back from even while out and about. 

he’s tailing a potential suspect but still makes time for the call, even though he's in a hurry… then he runs into an x rated film showing. now, what is going on with that? hope you catch the guy, buddy.

he wants to know more, but she cannot tell him anything until he gets the birth records on dara :(

back to paula at the hospital. someone is approaching…. and when he approaches, she also hears the scary voices and genuflects like the other girl did!!! and there is a huge flash!!!

what is going on.

scully is at the scene, and finds the cross in her room hung upside down. is satan afoot.....?

MULDER ENTERS!!! “aren’t you the secret squirrel” <- LMAOOOO WHAT A WEIRD THING TO SAY!!! let the record show that this man is my baby girl.

ohhhh, she quietly explains she’s doing this as a favor :( i think he gets the idea not to press or make any other rodent comparisons

but he starts nerding out over the implications of the flipped cross. maybe the guy he was tailing last night is the same guy who did this?

(author's note: there was actually no relation whatsoever, and i think the writers just meant him watching the scandalous film as a weird gag, but for a brief moment there, i thought the narrative stars were going to align. alas!)

anyway, paula and dara were sisters!! they were quadruplets!! so there must be 2 more out there, and they must be in danger!!

(mulder has this five o clock shadow thing going on, and it’s kinda intoxicating)

“look scully, i know you don’t really want my help on this, but can i offer you my professional opinion?” (she nods, almost smiling) “you got a bona fide, super-crazy religious wacko on your hands”

average mulder sentence. he points out the prevalence of eye imagery in the bible, of gouging and smiting and other such cases. and in walks the social worker, who is sure there was not a cross on the wall there before!!

i’m overcome by something pulling at my heart strings while looking at mulder and scully standing together.

paula was about to be adopted, so they journey to church of st. peter the sinner, which has the upside down cross iconography outside and a sign that reads “the darkness is upon us” oh boy! i feel very welcomed /s

mulder is coming too because he is a nice guy in his leather jacket and jeans :)

he really has no life, huh…. god bless him

(i feel like he is in some sort of league basketball every other weekend, and probably goes to the library very often, but this is likely the extent of his social life. aside from sleepovers with the gunmen, of course. and that can be so beautiful)

they find a book of st. peter the sinner, and he immediately identifies it as full of apocrypha!!! which is hot. while someone seems to be watching them from a corner. less hot.

“i’m surprised there’s nothing here from jesus christ superstar” <- A MAN OF CULTURE???????

(i know this man is singing showtunes in his car. oh, i just KNOW it. and i bet he WOULD love jcs. and he was at oxford when some big west end shows were playing: phantom, les mis, evita, cats. a 2 hour bus ride from oxford to london is nothing for a massachusetts boy. just keep these facts in mind while making headcanons)

((and i do feel like he grew up watching musicals, too. just seems like something that happened in that household. they had the money to go see live theatre, but he also grew up in a golden age of movie musicals. idk, just try and tell me he didn't hear songs from west side story and the music man in his house growing up. i bet he thought it was annoying as a kid that his mother was always playing them, but now he looks back at it with fondness. whatever))

they break the news to father gregory that paula has died, which he didn’t know, and he seems to be overcome with emotion as he says he was trying to adopt her. yeah. this is unfortunate.

mulder asks why he wanted to adopt her and he is NOT messing around

“why adopt her?”, he asks. “what, you think i was interested in harming her?” “why. adopt. her” <- OHHH he is NOT going to be going easy on this case when scully’s heart’s on the line!!! everyone say thank you to protective mulder!!

father gregory says he knew the girl’s mother and was trying to protect her, but when they ask who the mother is, he says she died. hmm. yeah. i think having 4 babies at once is pretty unsafe. i can imagine this happening.

but still... he said he knows where she is… and then says she died. which is suspicious. like, why not just say she’s dead? i feel like he's lying.

father gregory says that he used to be in the roman catholic church and he was her confessor before he started his own church, and divulging her name would violate his code of faith. okay, that is great and all. but her kids are being murdered, so maybe pray on it and ask god if you can make a special exception.

this dude is very strange. 

“and yours, i see” he says, glancing at scully’s necklace

ohh…. allow mulder to stride in angrily. “you said you wanted to protect paula. from what?” yeah that is right. you don't let him mess with her.

what the fuck? this dude is so off putting. “whatever your intentions, your secular prejudices blind you from seeing what’s really happening here. two girls are dead- not by the hand of man. unless you accept the truth of god’s teachings that there is a struggle between good and evil for all souls, and that we are losing that struggle, you’re but fools rushing in. you put your own lives in danger. as well as the lives of the messengers”

(deeply pensive scully as father gregory walks away and someone continues to pant from the corner of his church)

wow. so i guess he thinks god just kills poor kids sometime for fun. sounds like a great god. i sure do want to join your church and worship him now. /s

(i'm still so baffled after watching the episode. so he thought the demons were killing the kids? it wasn't god doing the killing? but god lets demons kill kids sometimes unless people like him intervene? but actually it was the seraphim killing the kids and bringing them home to good? which would be a good thing, right? i just don't know what this episode was trying to sayyyyyy)

back to scully in confession. she brought mulder on the case “to help temper my feelings… to keep them from clouding my judgement. i wouldn’t admit it to him, but… as well stood there, i felt as if father gregory were speaking directly to me. in a language only i could understand”

well. i don’t understand it either, so i can’t analyze it. i'm sorry, queen, because i love to analyze you. but i'm glad she brought him along for the ride.

mulder holds the door open for her as they leave, and remarks on how gregory seems deeply suspicious (“he thinks he’s doing god’s laundry” is an exquisite line)

he’s definitely hiding something. 

“but, basically, you’re ruling out any element of the supernatural?” (careful mulder pause) “what do you mean?” 

ohhh, are they going to have this fight again? he seems to be holding something back. like he's trying to carefully measure his words despite being pissed off.

she points out that dara was baptized before she died

“and why would god allow this to happen, and why do bad things happen to good people? religion has masqueraded as the paranormal since the dawn of time to justify some of the most horrible acts in history” (heavy massachusetts accent when he says "horrible", btw, just noting that)

“i was raised to believe that god has his reasons, however mysterious” 

“he may well have his reasons, but he seems to use a lot of psychotics to carry out his job orders”

wow. there’s so much to analyze there.

well, it's not outright denial of her beliefs, which is an improvement from before. he can clearly pick up on how much this case is impacting her, which i commend, especially for a guy whose ahab tendencies in the past have caused him to be oblivious to all things emotional. i will never be over that time he was like "i'm sorry your dog died :( btw i think we are dealing with the loch ness monster who somehow made his way to america. here are a bunch of dinosaur facts-"

mulder says she should autopsy paula before whoever it is has a chance to find her sisters. i think this is a fair judgement.

he is cranky. but he was trying to hold back. and i do appreciate that. cranky man who needs to shave. has he ever looked better??

i get the sense that this is one of those episodes i’ll have to rewatch to analyze more stuff in later. if i can bring myself around to it.

autopsy time. she finds something on both of paula's shoulders.

OH MY GOD, SHE LOOKS OVER AND SEES EMILY ON THE TABLE??!!

SHE STARTS CRYING??? AND SHE HEARS EMILY SAY “MOMMY PLEASE”???

BUT SHE TURNS BACK AND THE BODY WAS JUST PAULA??!!

hey. what. hey. emily jumpscare. what does this mean? she knew that alien child for like 2 weeks. please do not spiritually torment her.

back in the confessional booth, she says she wrote off what she saw as a hallucination based on her emotional connection to the case, but she clarified that is not what it was

damn. little did this confessor know he was in for a WILD story time when she sat down.

she says she was meant to see emily for a purpose. so she could save them. taking on the need to save others... this is such a scully thing to do.

mulder on da phone. he has a lead on the third sister!! 

(dramatic sunglasses removal as they stake out the area)

why does he look so good?? it’s making it hard to focus on the tragic plot at hand. 

he says the third sister wandered into a teen crisis center, which is odd because the other two could not walk at all. and scully points out that there’s some sort of degenerative bone disease in paula.

“and uh, i know you’re going to think that i’m crazy… but i swear i found evidence of something winglike”

DOES SHE THINK THESE GIRLS ARE ANGELS BEING BROUGHT BEFORE GOD FOR CRIMES?? THE REBELLIOUS ONES LIKE LUCIFER?

“well then, maybe she flew here, scully” <- lmao. not totally appropriate for him to say, but lmao.

uh oh… he finds another upside down cross outside the joint. she has more to say, but he has to go.

someone is chasing another girl… LEAVE HER ALONE!!!!!!

mulder approaches...

and this girl, too, hears more of those horrible overlapping voices, there’s a dude with the face of an alien (angel? devil?) and the blinding light?? and she’s doing the same pose as the others!! the genuflection!!

MULDER HAS HIS GUN…. who is here?! it’s father gregory!!! he says it’s too late!!! and that the girl is dead!!!!

and sure enough, her eyes are burned out as well, as a dove flies to the light. i see what you did there, souls ascending and all that.

(but i thought she was taken by the devil, so the soul going to the light seems contradictory... you know what? never mind ❤️)

now they have father gregory brought in for questioning, and mulder has a casual shirt on, which looks strange. “you know, they say when you talk to god it’s prayer, but when god talks to you, it’s, uh, schizophrenia” (he smiles at his own joke)

“you’re not interested in the truth” “i am ONLY interested in the truth!!” <- do not get between this man and his Truth. rest assured, that is his God

all jokes and jests have been forgotten at this point. he’s screaming at father gregory, asking what could possess him to burn those poor girls’ eyes out, with scully watching in the back. 

father gregory makes scully explain the upside down cross… st. peter would only be crucified upside down. out of reverence for christ. sure. okay. seems weird he makes her explain it. feels manipulative somehow.

(very interesting how the upside down cross represents both st. peter and the devil... makes following the plot of this episode even harder)

he says he has risked his life to protect their souls because the devil wants them. well, idk if you’re doing a very good job, tbh. you're 0/3. 

(mulder glares at him before leaving the room) 

but father gregory taunts scully, saying she knows what they are, and if the devil finds her, his victory will be complete. 

man, idk what they’re talking about :(

they think they found the fourth girl, and father gregory asks to be let go or else no one can save her. scully explains in confession that she knew she was meant to save her.

she says the devil didn’t take their souls, but the threat was real, and he gave his life to protect them.

anyone wanna tell me what’s going on?

back to the case. mulder's talking to her and then he asks what’s wrong. ohhh, he bends down to look in her eyes. “scully? scully. don’t let this guy get in your head. that’s the last thing you want” <- oh my god, he’s worried :((((

"you’re not going to find her. i think you’re being misled", she says

“by who?" (heavy pause) "scully, i think you’re the one who’s being misled. and not just willingly, but willfully. i’ve never seen you more vulnerable or susceptible or more easily manipulated. and it scares me because i don’t know why”

he is at once doing his very best and still manages to be a bit condescending, but he is also doing a very good job, at least for him, of saying what he means. so i’m proud

“i saw emily” OHHH she says it. i thought she would keep it to herself “she came to me in a vision”

he grabs her shoulder and pulls her in close: “i think you should step away” ohhh :( ohhh no :(

she tells him to go find the girl and let her finish up with father gregory, and he takes the case file from her hand, lingering over it, holding onto the image of the last girl 

the case worker made his way into father gregory’s room!! asking where she is!! “the others were taken from me” hey, who are you? 

oh my god, he starts burning father gregory????? “tell me father. save yourself” is he the devil?? a demon??

scully goes to talk to him again and the door is locked. father gregory is dead on the floor!! all burnt up!!!

mulder is arriving at the house of the fourth girl.  he is NOT playing around. her father says she’s at school, and he points out she hasn’t been at school for a week. he won’t unlock the basement door, so mulder is going to kick it open. 

her father is saying a priest would take her off his hands!! father gregory said he would take her and let him keep the disability checks!!

huh.......

scully is getting to her car, but she gets a call. “yeah, hi scully, it’s me” aww

(she drops her keys and hears the horrible demon voices as mulder yells at her on the phone to answer him)

before her is a bird alien lion thing???????? the CGI goes crazy!!!

poor mulder is yelling to her while she is witnessing the plot of revelations irl. he's gotta be so worried.

back to talking to father mccue. she says she has seen things. visions. a man with four faces. 

this is troubling to father mccue, who fetches his bible. he’s showing her a page. it has an angel with four faces, which he calls a seraphim. the seraphim fathers four children with a mortal woman, whose babies are the nephelim, the fallen ones. souls of angels, but weren’t meant to be, they’re deformed and tormented. so the seraphim smites them with his glory and they go back to god?

i do not remember this story from sunday school.

“you think that’s what i saw?” “no” <- oh, i didn’t think he would say that… i thought he would be supportive. actually pretty gagged here.

“no. i think what you saw is a figment of your imagination, a half-remembered story from your childhood that surfaced because of this case” <- is he trying to be helpful here?? reassuring?? dismissive??? 

she insists that she saw it. and i cannot get a read on father mccue.

“the text in which it appears isn’t even recognized by the church” <- okaaay, that makes me feel better for not knowing the story.

he is certain god has his reasons. it is how he rewards our fate. which is a nice thing to think about.

the case worker is here, claiming mulder has been trying to reach her. there is latin chanting as they go to father gregory’s church. everything is quiet and the footsteps are clear. 

ohhhh she sees devil horns in his reflection… and he says he knows the last girl here. 

and she finds the girl!!! she was who was watching them earlier!! he’s yelling out to her…. 

she says she won’t hurt the girl, that she’ll get her out of there, take her someplace safe.

she’s trying to guide her out and the demon is saying to bring her the girl. but she’s trying to go forward to him!! 

emily is here?? “mommy, let me go” HUH?? let her go to the DEVIL??? she lets emily go and she walks into the light???

scully is crying. the demon is gone, leaving behind only the dead girl. 

(author's note: i'm pretty sure i actually misunderstood this scene, and the seraphim came and intercepted the girl from the devil- at least, that is what wikipedia says happened. but this was not very clear, and you can imagine my shock at the thought of scully releasing her dead child to the devil. which will make my confusion in the following paragraphs make more sense)

back to the confession… she was sure she was releasing the last girl's soul to heaven. but she cannot reconcile this with the physical fact of her death.

“has it occurred to you that maybe this, too,  is part of what you were meant to understand?”

”you mean, accepting my loss

“can you accept it?”

“maybe that’s what faith is”, she says, crying 

the end.

hmm. hmm.

so scully couldn’t reconcile bringing that girl to heaven with her actual death. 

but i was so confused, i swear the caseworker had horns, like he was the devil!! but then i guess the seraphim swooped in?

so she can only understand the loss of emily through faith, which makes sense, but the emily plot line still makes me frustrated, so idk how i feel. 

you ever get so confused you go to wikipedia?

so the devil took their souls? the devil being the social worker? but then at the last minute the seraphim took the last girl and brought her to heaven even though she died.

so the devil actually got the first three girls? but the bird went up to the light, and scully said she was confident they went to a better place? so must be the bright light guy was the seraphim and he saved them from the caseworker?

listen. listen. i’m going to throw my hands up in the air and admit defeat on this one. i don’t know what the hell went on. but i do believe it was important to scully.

i also believe it was an attempt to wrap up the emily plot line and that it probably won’t ever be addressed again in a meaningful manner because woohoo! we did it! we wrapped it up! /s

hmm. hmm. mulder did endear me today. he was cranky, but he genuinely wanted what was best for her. i think. even if he was lying about tailing a suspect to go watch some illicit films. and i don’t want to think about that. it’s far funnier to imagine him actually tailing someone and having to watch that as a result. 

after watching this episode, i feel very strange. i mentioned before it just didn't do "it" for me, and again, whatever "it" is, i couldn't tell you. but i can tell you this: i am desperate for scully to reclaim agency in her life. and i find that subjecting her to divine will is not agency. maybe you could interpret what happened here as god testing her, or offering her a way to understand her pain, or perhaps even taking god out of the equation, because of the unconfirmed nature of all supernatural elements of this show, she is imagining all of this as a way to deal with her pain. but it doesn't really allow her any freedom or autonomy.

i don't think i can fully articulate my qualms with this episode without diving into the murky waters of if god allows for free will, which is above my pay grade. but i will say this: it felt like scully was thrust into this situation, and her own free will was once again denied, whether you think it is due to father mccue getting her involved or god using her to save these girls and wrestle with the nature of faith versus reality.

and i want to see scully make her own choices. this is a critique of the writers, and not of the fictional character of scully. why is she consistently denied her ability to make choices about her own life? why is she put into these situations that deny her the ability to make choices? why does this happen to the woman in the show and not the man? why does it focus heavily on her ability to bear children? you see what i'm saying? why is the plot happening TO scully but being driven forward BY mulder?

i feel like it is hard for me to analyze what happened in this episode because so little of it involved scully making her own choices. she did choose to get involved with father mccue's request, and she chose to find meaning in her experiences, and even chose to communicate the distress she was in with mulder, but plot wise it was "god is torturing scully again. does he have no one else to torture?"

the emily thing is still always going to rub me the wrong way. it was always clear from the start of the abduction arc that the plot was going in this direction, but that doesn't make me like it any better.

in conclusion: i didn't like this one because i feel it, once again, relied on removing scully's agency and autonomy, and after 5 seasons this is growing old. also, i didn't know the seraphim lore, so i had no idea what was going on.

what did you think? specifically my scully fans: do you agree with my critiques? am i being a hater? did you know what was going on? did you like this episode? i'm always down to listen to someone try and convince me to like an episode! i need to know everything in brutal detail.

[bi-bats]

trick or treat!! 3-sentence fic or wip sneak peak? (up to u!)

HELLOOOOO MY BELOVED!! HAPPY HALLOWEEENNNNNNNN

For YOU I have a snippet of the one shot I'm working on that was like. supposed to be a drabble for the prompt you sent me and has gotten. long. lmao.

also it's going to be a fic with smut in it and I haven't even gotten to the smut yet and it's already 2.5k words lmao

so here my TRIUMPHANT RETURN TO WRITING JAYTIM

~ ✨ ~

“Do you… well… I mean… I could give you a massage?”

Jason blinks at him.

“Did… I’m sorry. Did you just say you could give me a massage?”  

Tim’s face burns furiously hot. What does he say, no? 

Well. He kind of wants to say no, actually. Maybe he can just gaslight his way out of this one—

No, no. Jason heard. 

Damn. 

He tries to say yes, but it tilts up into a question at the end. 

“Yes?” 

Jason blinks at him, and Tim’s skin feels too tight. The material of the couch is suddenly itchy on the back of his arms, but the heat on his face distracts him from it. Mostly.

“…Okay.” 

There’s a stutter in Tim’s breathing, the slightest hitch between in and out, right after Jason answers. It’s unnoticeable.

If you aren’t a bat.

Jason raises an eyebrow, because of course he fucking noticed.

Tim can’t just sit there while Jason looks at him like that, so he moves. 

He shifts forward on the couch, scooting an inch or two closer and waving his hands in what he hopes is a gesture indicating ‘turn around so I can rub your shoulders’ and not ‘I have no idea what to do with my hands right now this is so awkward why did I offer this oh my god’. 

He’s probably fine. The gesture for that would have had more flapping. 

Probably. 

It still takes Jason a second to get in gear. He shrugs, tilting his head to the side in a way that says something like ‘eh, why not’, which isn’t exactly what Tim had been hoping for when offering to touch a guy he’s had a crush on since he knew what crushes were, but he’s letting Tim do it, so it’s better than rejecting—

Jason slides his shirt off in a smooth motion, reaching over the back of his head to grab the neck of it and tug it off. 

It’s like one of those fucking thirst trap reels on Instagram.

Tim was just watching him move over on the couch while his thoughts went on a little spiral, and then Jason reached for the back of his shirt, and bam.

The lights drop, the music starts, the speed slows down, and Tim can see every ripple in the muscles of Jason’s forearm, every inch of skin revealing as he lifts the shirt, every angle of the dips in his spine, every scar, every scab, every damn freckle — for god’s sake, he can even see about a half an inch of elastic above the top of his pants. 

It’s red. 

Of course it’s red. 

Tim takes a deep breath, trying to disguise it by shifting closer to Jason, who’s sitting with his back to Tim, his arms threaded through the shirt in his lap. 

He can do this. He can do this. 

It’s just a massage. 

“Come on, Timbo. Let’s see what those scrawny fingers got.” 

Tim lets out an exasperated scoff, and Jason’s shoulders shake two or three times as he chuckles. 

He considers digging an elbow into Jason’s spine, just to be an asshole, but he has a better plan. 

He’s going to wow him. It’s going to be the best damn massage in his life. 

Scrawny fingers, Tim grumbles in his head as he places his hand down on Jason’s left shoulder. 

Immediately, Jason flinches and lets out a noise of surprise, and Tim flinches back because he’s surprised.

Great start.

“Jesus fuck, your fingers are like ice!” 

“Sorry, sorry,” Tim mutters, even though he isn’t, not really. Still, he rubs his hands together quickly, just a few times to get some of the cold out of them. 

He puts his hands back on Jason’s shoulders, and Jason stiffens, but he doesn’t flinch away this time. 

Okay. Good. 

Tim starts applying pressure, rubbing up and down the muscles, and after a few moments, it’s easier to shift into a more clinical headspace, even with the warmth of his skin seeping through Tim’s fingers. 

“Where is it bothering you?” he asks. 

“Oh, uh. By my spine. And…” Jason pauses for a moment while Tim’s palm digs into the meat of his shoulder, and when he resumes speaking, his voice is a little higher. “…my neck.” 

Tim nods, letting his palm dig in again. He wishes he had lotion or something. Jason’s skin drags against his every time he moves his hand, and it’s uncomfortable. Also, Jason’s skin is warm, flushing pink under the area he’s been rubbing, and… a little bit up his neck, too actually. The tips of his ears are pink, Tim realizes as he works his way up to the crook of Jason’s neck. 

He digs his thumb into the muscle right by the top of Jason’s shoulder, and he’s just starting to lose himself in it when he hears a breathy noise, almost like… 

No. No, Tim’s making shit up. Jason did not audibly moan. Tim is putting things where he wants them to be, because that’s what he wants.

On the next roll of his palm, Jason says, “Ngh, Christ, Tim.”

With Tim’s hand frozen on his shoulder, he can feel the way Jason tenses, has a front row seat to the burst of color across his neck.

Thank god they’re in Jason’s apartment. In Jason’s living room. With Jason’s cameras recording. He doesn’t have to memorize the way that sounded coming out of Jason’s mouth.

No, he can go hack into his files and save it as a clip and then back it up on three separate servers, and then also a hard drive, and maybe also on a USB in a lockbox buried in the woods somewhere, because he doesn’t think he can live another moment of his life without having access to the way his name sounded coming out of Jason’s mouth. 

“Sorry,” Jason mutters, and he sounds… meek? It’s weird, but Tim doesn’t think he’s ever heard Jason sound shy. 

“No worries,” Tim says, feeling like he’s regained some ground. 

“You can… make noise,” Tim adds. 

Immediately, he feels like he’s lost that ground. 

Jason clears his throat a little. “No, it’s — it’s fine, I’m good. You can, uh. Keep going.” 

A grin tugs across his mouth as he resumes his massage, listening to the way Jason’s breathing is getting heavier. 

“I thought my fingers were scrawny?”

[nijigasakilove]

Admittedly I’m pretty new to the franchise having only started with Hirogaru sky and then watching Otonapre when it aired, but still happy to be apart of history and seeing my babies from Hirogaru Sky, wow this was awesome!

A trip to the petting zoo is a really fitting way to spend the episode. I like the idea that there’s only so much you can learn about animals from a distance and that you need that physical connection to really come to love and appreciate them. Seeing Iroha backstory with Sakura was so sweet as well.

Lot of fun moments with the girls as usual. I loved Mayu teaching Iroha what an oshi is, Niko teasing Yuki and of course the Hirogaru cast enjoying their day at the zoo! It actually felt so natural seeing them on screen that it didn’t occur to me this wasn’t their show and this is a cool cameo until a few minutes later 😂 that was such a fun year with them

Again, you’re not supposed to root for the enemy but man Zakuro makes evil look good lmao. Hate that she messed with Sakura turning her into a Gaogoan, but it all worked out in the end after our weekly fight. Cool seeing Nyammy’s glasses abilities again too! Those never get old

Really sweet end to the episode, enjoyed this one a lot and here’s to a great rest of the season

[thegamingcatmom]

You ask and you'll receive..

So this you probably have told me already, but remind me: what is it about the Denali sisters that interests you so much? 😏

Oh wow, that was fast. 😅

But I THANK YOU greatly for giving me an opportunity to gush and fangirl. 🥰

Well I mean, first the obvious: They´re hawt. 😏

Then there´s the fact they´re a little bit over a millenia old. (Guess I´ve always been into older women, lmao.) That´s just so mind-blowing! Like, can you imagine the things they must´ve witnessed? All those inventions that changed our world forever, the great wars and tragedies, the people they´ve probably met and so on.

Conversations with the sisters would be so fascinating! The stuff they could tell you which probs sounds like a fever dream, but it´s actually real because they were there. They saw it happening. That´s just-

ANSFÖLASNFDANSDF

It´s a good thing that time is something they got loads of, because I´d ask them SO many questions. They´d have to frequently remind me that-

"Honey, you´re adorable, but it´s been weeks and we need to feed...and so do you."

LIKE-

AM SORRY BUT YOU´RE JUST SO FASCINATING. 😭

Then you´ve got their personalities, which are basically the total opposites of the Cullens, lol. Like, it´s just so funny because, remember at the wedding in BD Part 1 when Kate was so friendly and, dare I say, tame when she went like "We´ve heard so much about you!" to Bella? Even her voice was different, all high-pitched to make her sound as non-threatening as possible, lol.

Then we see her "true" self in BD Part 2 where she was basically threatening Bella with zapping Renesmée to get her to work that shield of hers. And I mean, that´s just Kate, right? We know that now - she loves to live risky (well, risks that don´t involve the Volturi, lol). All the sisters do, I reckon. Or at least Tanya and Kate probs. Irina is more the silent bystander, watching proceedings with equal parts amusement and disappointment. 😂

Anyhow, MY POINT IS: They´d be fucking hilarious to be around. They´d be so chill and carefree because they don´t see the need to hide their true self like the Cullens do. Probs because they don´t see the need to "blend in" in the first place. Like going to school and some shit. Hell nah. They mostly stick to themselves, except for the times they need something from the local stores, like interior deco or something.

*looks pointedly at Carmen*

We also know most (or some) of the Cullens are ashamed of what they are, or feel like it´s a curse or something. The Denalis are the complete opposite of that yet again, at least that´s how I HC it. Perhaps it´s the age and they just got used to the idea by now, because what else can they do? What´s the point in moping around all the time about something you can´t change anyway? You gotta make the best of it. 🤷‍♀️

*looks pointedly at Edward*

(Wisdom does come with age, after all.)

So yeah, I think they´re defo able to see the benefits of eternity rather than focusing only on the hellfire aspect, which the Cullens seem to be in the belief of. Like, believing they´re gonna end up in hell simply for being what they are, yknow. I mean, I don´t judge them for their beliefs or anything. They were born in different times, so ofc they might see some things differently. But I also think the Denali´s age has kinda made them more...receptive to other beliefs and ideas? When you witness the world changing/adapting over and over and over, you´re bound to develop a certain "attitude", I imagine.

Which, again, their age just makes it so fascinating because they´ve probs witnessed The Bible being written or something, lol. Perhaps they were looking over the one or other shoulder going like-

"Yeah, that´s not what happened dude." LMAO

(Just kidding ofc. The Bible was written way before the sisters were even born, but I think it´s hilarious to imagine it, lel.)

And again, THEIR AGE. I just can´t get over it. Like, all those historical events they´ve probs witnessed???

The Viking Age

Christianity in Medieval Europe

Holy Roman Empire

etc.

yes, I totally went and googled "historical events around 1000 AD" and I highly recommend it because history is fucking fascinating, especially imagining the sisters having witnessed some of it

PLEASE. 😭

I mean, tbh, I could go on, and on, and on, and on, and-

What´s not to love about the sisters? About all of the Denalis, actually.

So, lemme summarize it as followed:

To the Denalis, the glas is always half full probs. Wouldn´t you want to surround yourself with such positive mindsets? 😉

Thanks for your ask! 💋💋

[seattledaytwo]

🍒

didn't get a chance to play DE yet, but I humored myself with some playthroughs already and I'm... questioning shit rn. I just checked what max's phone has to offer in my ending (bae ending with pricefield as... hs sweethearts apparently). and I just don't understand wtf happened. I don't want to spoil the main plot of DE, but the way they don't offer any datas or timeframe... I'm kinda offended by the messages shown in max's phone. it looks so wrong. I mean, ofc there is the whole multiverse and I can believe that in some universe pricefield could've broken up but??? it feels wrong actually seeing it, I mean my expectations are my own mistakes, but... I need time to process

I mean, it could be great, but they promised to respect both endings. and the way I see it, most people who saved chloe didn't do it to see such an ending. I get that this stuff happens in real life, it's natural outcome for the relationship built on trauma, but for both Max and Chloe it's really off and out of character. I probably need to see more from the game to get a better perspective, but now i'm just sad.

how are u feeling tho?

OOF okay yeah I'm going to be brutally honest about my thoughts on Double Exposure.

So from the very first announcement, the concept left a bad taste in my mouth. It felt incredibly cheap to bring Max back, and I knew that even if the game was fantastic, that narrative choice would always rub me the wrong way. I don't like the idea of Deck Nine taking Dontnod's characters and continuing a story that had been tied up with a perfect bow already. It feels...I don't know. It feels gross, I guess, is the best word I can use.

Chloe's lack of presence stood out to me immediately, and combined with the pieces of the game we'd seen, I knew she wouldn't be part of it. At best, there would be some offscreen explanation about her traveling or something (like how Dragon Age explains where the Warden went if you romanced Leliana). What they went with was...worse than I anticipated, lol.

In my opinion, it's very clear that they brought Max back solely to bait people into buying and playing, and it's backfiring HARDCORE on them right now. I've seen so many people cancelling their preorders and turning away from the game. The promos for the games were purposely avoiding a mention of Chloe, not to be fun and surprise the fanbase, but to string people along until the very last second. Clearly, it didn't work out!

It's really a bummer because I think I would have LOVED this game if it featured a new protagonist. I mean, switching timelines, a university story, an older protagonist? Absolutely right up my alley! But the fact that they dragged Max in to be the hook immediately turned me off to it.

To be honest, I would be very unsurprised if this is the last Life is Strange game after all the backlash that's already starting. And honestly? I'm kind of okay with that. I have concerns about how Deck Nine and Square Enix would/could handle future installments, since it feels like the integrity of the series has been degraded so much with DE.

I never had any plans to play the game, but I don't even really feel like watching a playthrough now either, lmao. All that to say, I really don't consider this game canon. This feels more like a parody than an actual continuation of Max's story.

It's very, very sad to me because the first game came out when I was a teenager trying to figure herself out, and Max and Chloe were very integral to exploring and discovering my sexuality (even before I realized it)!

I love True Colors and I think Deck Nine is capable of writing a compelling (if not a little lacking in some aspects) storyline, but diving back into Max's story was a really bad idea and I think it might be the series' downfall.

And...wow, I guess I had more to say than I realized 😅

[glasswingowl]

wow those drones sure can murder huh

ep 6 spoilers under the cut

yeah so it's a medusa/sight paralysis thing like we thought

the atmosphere is so cool

she's happy to see N!

I was hoping that copper 9 would affect humans in some way that planet is probably radioactive as fuck

uzi finally got to bite someone good for her

"real tired of killing this one"

so cloning is a thing that can happen. got it

"her last known act was siccing you lot on the human exoplanets". wait. waitwaitwait. SO IT WASN'T JCJENSON TRYING TO COVER THEIR TRACKS?? IT WAS CYN?? HOW?? WHY??

Doll is as cool as ever, i see. Side effect of having the solver is just being able to pull off sick as hell stunts, i guess

J has to go watch the ship. L (i mean on the bright side, she doesn't have to deal with whatever fuckery is down there)

tessa is so incredibly ominous even though she's not saying anything we don't already know

the soundtrack for this episode is so good AJ DiSpirito outdid himself on this one

uzi still has her wings! and the sentient tail!

oh-

so that's where the rest of the disassembly drones went. huh.

tessa's blind confidence is so fucking funny

oop there she goes

there's the baby

"shoot the baby" no hesitation lmao-

oh i like these two already. inexplicably southern

the patch of dead pixels on her forehead is a nice touch

oh she's organ harvesting. makes sense

"more valuable" V NOW IS NOT THE TIME-

solver hearts can be contained? good to know

"dealt with witches before, too." does that mean she's not a solver? then why is she here?

"ain't seen 02 since she left us to DIE" OOOOHHHH WHAT DID NORI DO (maybe antler girl was part of a control group or just moved in after everthing went to shit?)

this entire sequence is great, the physical comedy from Beau (baby drone), N HELPING him-

NORI MOMENT

did they tape a magnet to tessa's helmet?? like that'd accomplish anything

"except her yellow eyes" HER. WHAT.

o_o

yikes

uh oh.

DINOSAUR TIME

EARTH IS GONE??

NORI MOMENT

OH. OH NO. TESSA ASKING N TO KILL UZI?! OHHH SHIT-

Tessa this isn't jurassic park that isnt going to work-

told you

ouch flashing. tessa's immune to the flashes though

IT'S HER IT'S CYN IT'S THAT BITCH-

FUCKER

oh this is BAD

there goes the baby

turns out biomechanical horror is sick as hell. who knew?

V's trying to protect uzi now? you go girl

oh the hug

poor girl has no idea

cool music strikes again

they can read??

n and uzi ;-;

oh shit they got doll

put the roach down!! don't spin him!!

holding hands!!

"don't take my robot" tessa kind of sucks actually. she's sweet and she means well, but she definitely has some problems she needs to think about

doll's ok!

oh shit

oh fuck

tessa maybe don't do that-

OH THE BENDY FINGERS EUGH-

V HELL YEAH!

SHE STILL NEEDS GLASSES

uh- ok i guess that's one way of fixing that

YOU AGAIN-

YEAHHHH V KILL 'EM

UH OH

OH SHIT NO V OH GOD OH FUCVK V WHY NO

AND THE MUSIC SWELL TOO?? GOD MOTHERFUCKIGN DAMN IT FUCK

[carlyyyyxbishhop]

Love me like I haven't changed // Shayne Topp // 1

Okay so hi, long time smosh fan lmao. I used to write stuff for bands back in like 2014-2017 but I stopped for some reason. Recently I kinda wanted to get back into it... so I started writing this. Idk if you'd count this as a fanfic because idk how long its gonna be.

Tbh I got an idea and just started writing so I'm gonna post parts 1 and 2 tonight. Lemme know if I should continue writing because I'm slightly hesitant.

part one // Kate

I bounced my right leg anxiously, out of habit I guess. The waiting room was a sterile white, littered with magazines and children’s toys. But I’ll never forget the smell, funny that. It smelt like pure vomit, there’s no other way to describe it.

I stared at the poster on the wall in front of me, it said something stupid like keep hanging on. I rolled my eyes and looked toward the reception desk. A woman was sitting filing her nails with her airpods in, obviously making great use of company time. I looked to my right as a door opened. 

“Kate?” He called out into the room as if I wasn’t the only person sitting in the waiting area. I stood, flashing him a small smile, before following him into the small room. To say the office was small was an understatement. I took it in quickly before finding a chair in the corner near the window.

“Hi Kate, I’m Charlie. It’s nice to meet you.” He started as he sat across from me. I cleared my throat before I spoke, not realising I hadn’t spoken a full sentence in over 48 hours.

“Hi, nice to meet you too.” I watched as he grabbed a small notepad from the table beside him.

“Kate, I know your mother was adamant that you come to therapy but if you’re not ready you don’t have to be here. I just want to let you know that before we start.” He looks over at me, he can probably already sense I’m hesitant.

“No it’s fine, if I don’t come to the appointments she’ll keep harassing me until I do.” He nodded slightly and wrote something on his notepad.

“Okay well, just know you can back out at any time,” He offered a smile that I returned, “So, uhh, if you don’t mind could you tell me a bit about yourself?”

“What, like my job and stuff?”

“Well if that’s what you want to talk about, then yes we can start with that.” I think for a second.

“Do your clients usually go straight into their traumas?” He furrowed his eyebrows at the question.

“Not particularly,” He starts, “Usually they start with simple things to get us started.”

“Oh right,” I say slightly embarrassed, “I’ve never been to therapy before if you can’t tell.” He smiled.

“Why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself, some hobbies, work… maybe friends?” He offers some starting topics.

“Well, I’m 29 and I’m currently on mental health leave from my job. Mostly because I stopped going to work about 3 weeks ago and stopped answering their calls. Eventually they called my mother because she’s my emergency contact and she made up some bullshit about my Dad dying.” I slightly rambled.

“Did you stop going to work because of your father?” He asked hesitantly, almost trying to predict the reason.

“No, he died years ago. I just kind of lost interest in life when my ex left.” I gulp down the ball in my throat and reach for my water bottle as a distraction.

“Oh right, your ex… was he a big part of your life?” He looks down at his notepad as he makes some notes.

I laugh slightly, “I guess you could say that, we were together for five years.”

“Wow, that’s quite a long time. It’s normal to be upset when going through a breakup.” He tries to reason.

“Is it normal to lay in bed for weeks after a breakup?” I try to find the novelty in it.

“In extreme cases… yes. It can be perfectly normal to have a negative reaction when someone breaks up with you.” I tense slightly at his words.

“See,” I gulp down another lump in my throat, “He didn’t break up with me… he left me.”

“Right… and do you know why he did.” I laugh slightly and look toward the window.

“Yes.” I say shortly, holding back the tears threatening to spill.

“Did you want to talk about it?” He asked, almost unsure if he should. I shook my head no.

“Okay, well why don’t you tell me about him?” He asked.

“What do you want to know?” I looked back toward him and tucked my legs under myself, getting more comfortable on the lounge chair.

“Why don’t you start from the beginning?”