#wow this could go for so many more fandoms than I realised

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

the library

plum, chapter six

a/n: i don’t think i’ve ever written about anything as close to my heart as this… like sure, other fandoms have been something that i’ve truly and deeply loved and known way way too much about, but this one is just at a different level. like it’s one of those that for so long seemed way too personal to ever write about. 10 years. 10 fucking years of loving a story in a life-altering way, being autistic so diving into it in a way that makes you more than qualified to then write fanfic about it lol (i know too much, it’s borderline painful lol). idk i’m just having a moment tonight where i’m just like wow…

warnings: Joel Miller x reader, MILD SPOILERS for the last of us (both games and the hbo series), slow burn, age gap (20 years), timeline wise this is set in between the first and second game (so when they live in Jackson), ptsd, violence, angst, weapons, zombies

word count: 886

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“Oh, man…” you breathed out as your fingertips ghosted over the dusty spines of the many novels lined up in front of you. 

You’d snuck out. Like a teenager in the night, you’d snuck out of Jackson. You weren’t particularly proud of it, being way too seasoned not to know the stupidity of not even leaving a note. 

But it was just a small trip, a few hours tops. You’d be back before anyone would realise you were gone. You just knew that they wouldn’t have let you go if you’d spoken up, at least not alone. 

With a few books already reserved, the hardcovers pressed tightly against your chest, locked in place by your forearm, you glanced up and spotted a particularly intriguing title, one that tickled a memory long forgotten. Lifting yourself onto your tiptoes and reaching your free hand up as far as it would go, your fingertips only managed to kiss the binding, not gaining nearly enough of a hold to simply get it down.

Giving it a few forceful pokes, hoping that it would just push the book enough for you to be able to grasp it fully and therefore quietly get it down, it instead came crashing down, causing not only a cloud of dust to puff up in the abandoned library but also sent a deafening thump echoing down deep within the vast building. 

Freezing up, barely even breathing at all, you glanced down at the dropped book and a cluster of bloodcurdling guttural screeches found your ears. As silently as you could manage, you reached for your knife, having not been able to grab a firearm back at Jackson since they were under much more significant security. 

The library evidently wasn’t as vacant as you thought. There were two, maybe three clickers scattered somewhere in the many rows of bookcases surrounding you. 

Needing both hands to defend yourself, you slowly shifted the books in your arm and slid the pile onto an open spot on the dusty shelf in front of you. Holding your breath, you hoped the action hadn’t created too much noise. 

Standing still, standing ever so still, you heard one of the creatures creep closer. Tightening your grip around the handle of your blade, you watched as the blooming fungi appeared around the corner. 

Debating for a moment if you should strike out or just keep standing there, hoping you could somehow hide amongst the stories long enough for you to eventually somehow slip out, the sudden shriek it produced as it whipped towards you made that decision for you. 

Having luck on your side, your knife found purchases in the monster’s neck and as you sliced it open, exposing its mutated vocal cords, the clicker dropped to the floor, the ruckus alarming the rest of your exact location. 

The second one being closer than you’d imagined, the fight was a struggle, ultimately forcing you to the ground as the infected gnawed atop of you, biting the air in hope that your tender flesh would accompany some of it. 

And just as you thought this was it, that you had lost all hope of triumph, a gunshot rang out amidst the books, blowing a lethal hole into the creature’s skull.

Sucking in a startled breath, you shoved the corpse off of you and before you could manage to get back up on your feet, an outstretched hand appeared in front of your face. 

Blinking up at Joel in alarm, the loud cry of the last remaining creature had you holding your sharp tongue. Accepting his aid, you got back up and quickly took a look around, prepared for the noisy gunshot to have sent the final one sprinting in your direction. 

Your sudden wide eyes being enough of a clue for Joel to catch, he whirled around, covering your body with his broad form and lifted up his pistol, ready to unload into the clicker scampering towards you. 

It was only when it laid unmoving on the ground that you noticed how his hand was holding onto your midsection and shielding you protectively. Ripping it away at once, you then gave his sturdy form a big shove, “what the fuck are you doing here?”

“What am I doing-, what are you doing here?” Joel bellowed, “the hell were you thinking running off like that? Do you know how reckless, how goddamn stupid that was?”

Fighting the urge to slap him across that salt-and-pepper cheek of his, you scowled, “did you follow me?”

Either he purposefully ignored your question or else he was just way too wrapped up in his own fury not to continue, “do you have any idea what could have happened to you?”

“I can take care of a few infected myself,” you wiped your blade clean against your jeans, then folded it back up and tucked it away in your pocket. 

“I know that.”

“Then why-”

“Because the infected aren’t the only threat out here and you know it,” he dared to say. His twitching face softened ever so slightly at the grave look that flooded your features. “They are still out there, Y/n.”

Blood boiling, you turned around on your heel, picked up the abandoned books and determinedly walked towards the exit, bumping your shoulder heatedly into him as you passed.

© 2023 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[nerd-cat-rambles]

Danganronpa Manga Rant- Leon and Sayaka:

@yukiteruakari told me about a Danganronpa Manga edition, and OH MY GOD!!! Thankyou so much for this bro omg.

I'm only up to "Junkos" impaling, but it's so much better than the one I have.

I'll put some screenshots below, and the link too because so far it's translated to English.

Why the Manga is better, what it could do for the fandom:

It gives Sayaka and Leon so much more development as characters and seeing as Mondos case is next we might get to see what they talked about in the sauna. (<- there are so many fan theories for that one, and I'm excited to finally get more lore.)

It's hard to be a Danganronpa fan in 2024 because it all happened 14, 12, and 7 years ago. So like... Spike aren't going to just start explaining more lore on twitter randomly because they feel like it, Danganronpa is done, but this manga helps us understand the killers motive.

If ALL of the fandom read it I'd probably assume the "Mondo Brother Killer >:(" cliche that some of the fandom define him as would be gone, because it has his POV instead of a Monokuma flashback and a shitty animated clip of him doing it "for no reason" other than being "strong-strong-strong-strong-strong" (from the canon game and animation 2014.)

LeoXSaya Rant, Manga>>>Animation:

And yes, Sayaka was revealed to be a bit more of a "snake" (she isn't btw) but her motives were humane and we only thought she wasn't because Makoto is the protagonist and wouldn't think bad about any of his friends.

It also gives Leon haters a reason to stfu and enjoy his character design and small role while it lasts, and it's better than playing his FTEs because he's just gloating about picking up chicks and being better than everybody at Baseball despite hating in from what I've seen.

Also, the art is just BETTER.

The dialogue is just BETTER!

They gave Sayaka a reason to invite Leon over. Because in the anime and game yes it's "wow Sayaka is so hot" on Leons part, but wouldn't that mean Leon would've been the person to invite her to HIS room instead?

But in the Manga they explain her thought process, anybody who hasn't read it will probably just go "Sayaka's dumb for inviting a STAR ATHLETE to try and kill!" but she's smart because if she had killed him she already had an alibi. "We were friends! We bonded over music and drank tea together!" or something... saying that, Sayaka couldn't WIN because Makoto knew about the room swapping ofc. And she'd leave evidence and whatnot.

*Sighs* The Animation Butchered Our Boys...:

(BOYS BECAUSE THE ANIMATION BUTCHERED SO MANY CHARACTERS AND GAVE THEM PISSY MOTIVES AND SHIT-)

I hate the anime alot, but the thing that PISSED ME OFF THE MOST (about 1-1 of the animation) WAS LEON'S REACTION. He was having a mental breakdown, which was fine and accurate... probably good as well instead of him screaming "stupid" then losing it halfway through the word and realising his fate quietly.

They give him a moment of remorse.

"I didn't want to... I mean she... she was tring to... kill me... right? I just... didn't know what else to do... okay...?" (quote end)

but then he gets mad.

I don't know about you, but on first watch this ruined it for me. "He's just screaming now..." like... it makes me mad for almost no reason.

He was about to have a very humane moment of "I didn't have a choice..." he's looking down at the pedestal thingy in the court, he's defeated, he's sad, he's been caught. He's in despair.

Then he yells at the others "you would've done the same thing in my shoes!"

And you know what the writers did instead of making him cry after that? Anything... would've been better, but this is the dam animation we're talking about...

"I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE OKAY! THE CRAZY SKANK WAS GOING TO KILL ME, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!"

He did have a choice...

The manga gave him a choice, he tried to save Sayaka. Then he ended up killing her, ON ACCIDENT. That line alone contradicts the fact of any of that happening, he and Sayaka had just bonded hours earlier.

Like, this is my opinion and I've never heard anybody talk about this before, BUT THE WRITERS NEEDED TO WRITE LEON BETTER!!! The game wrote Leon fine, but the animation was a second chance at giving him development!

I liked him trying to escape the court room though. That was a nice touch that I don't think was in the game.

BUT BROOOOO HE CALLED SAYAKA A SKANK HOURS AFTER ADMITTING HE WAS CRUSHING ON HER, DANGANRONPA ANIMATION WHERE'S THE LOGIC!

Like, the scene made me so mad on re-watch and I can't pinpoint why!

Like instead of this: https://youtu.be/CbQ6McYz7U0?t=59

(Good animation though imo, the closeup expressed his emotions nicely-)

HAVE THIS THOUGH, THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER!

IT JUST HITS WAY BETTER-

Anyway, that's my rant of the day because why not.

The game itself had issues, but compared to the animation it was just so much better, and makes me want to give it a 7/10 instead of a 6...

[mazzystar24]

OMG i still feel like I'm in a fever dream. I keep refreshing tumblr just to make sure that it HAPPENED.

We've been waiting for this for so long, i can't believe that they made Buck Bi!! Also here is the thing i want Buddie to happen and I am a hundred percent sure that it's happening (i don't know why people are thinking that it's not like???) the way i could see this going down is buck and tommy exploring their relationship and Buck beginning to question more and more things such as his relationship with Eddie. I WANT and him and Tommy to be in a relationship for a while (because they're actually pretty cute) and eddie pining. tommy will be the catalyst for Buddie.

Also: Oliver stark literally said, Buck has a crush, gets the person (exactly what happened with tommy) and that he has to work for his relationship to work and ryan saying "closer than ever??"

I also hate the fact that so people are mad and hating on the actors , that it wasn't with Eddie. Like of course a Buddie conformation would've been great, but we all knew that that wasn't gonna happen in this episode? We got FUCKING BI BUCK !!! Let's just celebrate this and just watch this beautiful story unfold. I really love reading your prediction and your positivity, please continue with that !!!

What do you think is going to happen in the next episodes? Sorry for the long ask!!

Sameee like I keep trying to be normal then I REMEMBER I’m like wow I didnt hallucinate that??

Exactly like they flat out called Tommy a plot device, confirmed he’s here for a little bit and that it’s a fling, so enjoy it as much as you want to while it’s here but don’t lose hope for buddie people? like legit this is the biggest confirmation buddie is on the horizon

YES THE INTERVIEWS HAVE BEEN REALLY FEEDING INTO MY DELUSION

Like let’s not forget Ryan saying they’re trying to give the people what they want🫡and that they are closer than ever - like legit he has no reason to say this in the same season buck realises he’s bi unless something BIG is gonna happen for buddie (maybe not full canon but vibes???)

Anyone hating on the actors can legit fight me.

Oliver and Ryan have been such troopers for the fandom and Oliver now with this storyline you can tell how much he genuinely loves buck and like understands him as a character but also how to give this storyline what it deserves. Like Oliver has been endlessly respectful to the fandom too like he’s been making sure that he doesn’t get peoples hopes up while also trying to play buck in a way that is true to the character. Like did you guys see his message to the fans? Or his interview talking about how he was gonna actively play buck as bi this season as much as he can even before he got told abt the kiss. Like that man hasnt just been supportive of the fandom he’s been an advocate for us and for buck which is such a wonderful thing.

Also yeah it wasn’t Eddie but do people realise that it’s VERY hard to write an up to now presumed straight character’s self discovery in their 30s LET ALONE TWO?? Like Tim found the easiest way to set the scene for the new audience and the GA who won’t have picked up on early seasons undertone and the little things planted throughout and while I would’ve loved buddie without the middleman I completely understand why they did it this way and I’ll enjoy seeing it unfold

And YES EXACTLY BI BUCK like that alone is a MASSIVE win like we are getting such rare bi rep of not only a guy in a very “macho” job and a womaniser type character BUT ALSO a person figuring stuff out in their 30s not in a repressed full of sex shame and guilt way but in a they genuinely just never explored that side of them!! Like that’s so huge we can talk for hours about how many queer rep stories are just plain depressing but this one is so authentic while also being quite light and sweet

Also aww thanks I genuinely love these asks sm (me? In love with everyone who sends me an ask? More likely than you think🤭🤭🤭)

Also omg I’m sorry this is so long like I spent most of this talking about everything except your question😭😭

Okay so predictions:

So we know that Buck is gonna tell some people and some will be surprised some not so much and some will be like it’s about damn time, my bets are:

chimney- surprised but maybe not through insider info (Maddie)

Maddie- KNOWS HAS KNOWN but the only shocker for her is that it wasn’t Eddie like I can imagine the confused and so tired face rn, I think she probs has either thought he knew or knew he didn’t and just was giving him the time and dropping as many hints as she can in the meanwhile

Bobby- supportive father icon, KNOWS (and while he also I fully believe is the buddie captain as well he will play it a little closer to vest if you get what I mean- but inside he’s going insane and his eye is twitching because he poached Eddie for his dumb bi son only for them to ACT married for six seasons and go to him for dating advice abt other people constantly and now that his son is a man kisser it’s not the man Bobby was hoping for😔 pray for him y’all)

Hen- she’s the it’s about damn time response

Athena- also might be the it’s about damn time response

Ravi- in a permanent state of confusion- not about this he’s just confused always (also still fully convinced the poor guy thought buddie had been married cos that headcanon is endlessly amusing to me)

Now for actual plot I think that like the date is low-key a train wreck after the Eddie and Marisol interruption and that either we get a chenford-like double date or we just have a brief intereuption from Eddie and that’s a minor thing and like it’s buck admitting it’s his first date with a guy who hates throws a lot of questions in the air because Tommys reaction was a bit 👀 like I think it’s more or less confirmed that Tommy was repressed for a while when working with captain dickhead so maybe he’s like gonna be taking a step back cos he thinks buck needs more time to like explore this part of himself (but I hate that trope so hoping not) or maybe we get the buddie shipper daydream and Tommy is like more aware of buddie than buddie are and he either says that to buck as the reasoning but buck doesn’t tell Eddie that OR he says something cryptic about it to buck and buck doesn’t fully understand and he’s like you will eventually👀👀👀 (I need a lobotomy yes the delusions are a part of me now)

I hope that Marisol gets the fuck out right about now but I say that every episode 🫡 (edy’s face and voice make me wanna scream I hate her homophobic, transphobic ass sm)

Anyways I’m gonna shut up now bye love ya thank ya and sorry 🫡🫡

[wangxianficrecs]

❤️💙Hear a song this deeply by so_shhy

❤️💙 Hear a song this deeply

by so_shhy

T, 87k, Wangxian

Summary: “I’m not here to help you with your work,” said Lan Zhan, injecting frost into his voice to deter any further attempts at charm. “I’ll be focusing on my research.” Wei Ying cocked his head. “Research?” he said. “Mm. I’m a cultivation researcher, not a department employee. I’m reconstructing the ancient musical cultivation techniques of the Lan clan.” ___ Lan Zhan’s new liaison at the Caiyi Municipal Cultivation Department is an enigma – ridiculously talented, yet somehow content with mopping up spiritual pests for barely above minimum wage. Wei Ying is slapdash and irresponsible, and Lan Zhan doesn’t like him at all… but then he meets A-Yuan, who loves music and longs for a piano his father can’t afford. Forced into cautious friendship by a four-year-old's music lessons, Lan Zhan soon realises Wei Ying is more than he seems. The single father is a man of many secrets – including, perhaps, the key to Lan Zhan's life's work. And in the meantime, the background resentment in Caiyi Town is rising to dangerous levels…

Mojo's comments: Well, this was just a good time, through and through and I read the whole thing in one gluttonous go. This story was recced to me by a Nonny over on Tumblr, and their rec was so good I'll just re-use it here: "On ao3, user so_shyy has just written and published a masterpiece! Cant believe I’m forgetting the name, but it’s 16 chapters, modern au with cultivation. Lan zhan has left the lan sect to dedicate himself to uncovering the ancient lan musical cultivation techniques, which have been lost to time. In his work, he meets the equivalent of a cultivation “street sweeper”, who happens to live in his building and have a young son, but who also happens to have a strangely high cultivation level for a poorly paid municipal cultivator. Beyond that little mystery, there’s an excellent underlying problem that leads to a big revelation. "More perks: Renowned sect leader and the darling of the cultivation world lan xichen overuses emojis! It’s a kidfic! And wow, it is so well written. What more could you want? I have honestly been looking for a fic like this since I joined the fandom over a year ago. Cannot recommend enough, 💖/10"

Kay's comments: Ah, this story is just absolutely my jam! Modern AU with magic, single father Wei Wuxian with a mysterious past, Lan Wangji who has a complicated relationship with the Lan Sect due to what happened to his mother, Wangxian get-together and cool cultivation mysteries to be solved! Absolutely delightful!

modern setting, modern with magic, music, kid fic, single father wei wuxian, action/adventure, background xiyao, slow burn, fluff and angst, happy ending, lan wangji & wei wuxian get a happy ending, bamf wei wuxian, getting to know each other, family drama, pov lan wangji, cultivation theory, happy ending, pining, @soshhy

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[freeuselandonorris]

4, 11 and 20 pleeease 🙏

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

i almost exclusively write RPF, and so my inspiration for fics comes, 99% of the time, from real-life interactions (which is why i have written so very much landoscar recently, because WOW is there a lot of inspiration). the sterling work of the gif-makers, rippers, and fandom archivists on here does a lot of the heavy lifting for me! for instance, i wrote tell me where it hurts and i’ll make it hurt better having never previously considered fernando alonso in a sexual light because of the post-podium photos and because, frankly, i had taken half a gram of MDMA the night previous and needed something to distract myself while my brain chemistry sorted itself out 🤷‍♂️

following neatly on from that, i also have an absolutely fetid little swamp brain and spend about 75% of any given day thinking about truly disgusting sex stuff, and fic is an outlet for that. often i’ll have ideas floating around my mind for a while before i get round to them or even decide on a pairing, for instance a lot like life which features boot worship and fisting, two kinks i’d wanted to write for ages.

i have a pretty big backlog of horrendous ideas: charles/pierre knifeplay! toto and susie have a terrible toxic threesome with george (not sure i can write this one without accidentally turning it into toto x susie x reader ngl) (it’s me, i am reader)! fernando/lando follow-up with added oscar! toto forces christian to choke him! free use bimbofication lando norris!

i also get inspiration from other writers! whether it’s the line in @lost-decade’s fic you will find me if you let go that inspired me to write born and raised for the job, or all the incredible rule 63 fics like ego death by @beechersnope, trade offer by anon, and first by @flawlessassholes that inspired me to write girl!lando.

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

oh man. just three???

AT THE MOMENT:

adagio by @theory81 - landoscar ballet AU! i don’t fuck with AUs very often but i’ve been waiting for a ballet AU in the F1 tag for a while and this is more than i could have hoped for. sweet, funny slowburn with a gorgeously camp, smart-dumb-brat lando POV.

jump right in by @strawberry-daiquiris - girl!lando/oscar WIP, theeeeee most perfect escapist slowburn, basically a shot of dopamine direct to the cerebral cortex. i finish every chapter grinning like an idiot.

climb up to your lips by @scenetocause - girl!oscar/lando WIP, soft femdom oscar, sweet and soft, feels like a slowburn even though they’re fucking increasingly nasty, perfect mixture of simping without being cloying, regularly melts my brain with the sex scenes.

god i could easily have made this a top ten this was HARD.

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

oh absolutely. i am but a simple goblin. most of my fics explore uneven power dynamics, wet and messy kinks, sadomasochistic leanings, or poor communication.

i use way too many adverbs (stuff like definitely, absolutely, probably) and I have to CTRL+F for “seem” and “feel” before i post anything because i will use them every other sentence if i don’t pay attention.

most of my fics are set in hotel rooms or cooldown rooms. you know that post about hotel rooms being the liminal space in which sublimated desires are realised in sports RPF? yeah, that. i also write a lot about food? i like planning little details about scenes, like what they’re eating and drinking, and i often research restaurants in the area i’m writing about.

thanks for asking anonnie!! 🤍

get to know your fic writer!

[chirpsythismorning]

I dont even think the tag is dead at all tbh. We were really spoiled last summer with 2k post per day, and something crazy happening everyday like Mikhailgate, scriptgate, sock anon or people impersonating Ross duffer, but if you check most tags on this app, that's rarely the case. The thing is, it's been a year since season 4 came out and we're still getting around 300 posts per day and I need people to realise how crazy that is. Before season 4 the tag had like 5 k followers and there could be days without a single post. The fact that it's been a year and we still surpass 200 posts, AND we've already made it through the most content drought phase of the hiatus (since filming is about to begin and we'll increase the daily posts again) is crazy. This tag is still very much active, even for a show that hasn't released any new content for a year. And also AO3 is still active. The fact that for a whole year, there's been writers who still update fics or create new ones everyday is something I'm not used to coming from other smaller fandoms.

I get it's a bit more boring right now and we are looking back to the may-august craze, but we've already made it through the worst and we only need to hold on for one more month

This is definitely the best way to look at it!

I think I’m also maybe sad bc a lot of familiar faces aren’t as active, like some folks I remember seeing daily are gone. Which is fine!

And even despite that you’ll see posts in the tag get like hundreds of likes, so there are definitely a lot of people still lurking just not posting. Which is also fine!

It’s so true though that we are a lot more active than we realize.

Tumblr in general I used to think of as like a no man’s land pre-s4 bc it tends to really only be active in specific fandoms where like the unity is on point bc the content is just rolling in.

So many fandoms reside here at a point, but dwindle over time, and I feel like we are very fortunate to have made a big space here bc it is a cool platform when you have a lot of people that like a certain thing and want to talk about it.

And we’re fortunate enough to be so massive and not only that but this is sort of just the beginning. Imagine how many followers we’ll gain leading up to s5, during and after…? Or the aftermath of people coming here to look at theories and be like YOU GUYS WERE RIGHT! All the queer fans who kind of talked down on us (understandably) for potentially falling for queerbait, joining in and being like wow this is surreal, it finally happened. It’s going to be magical.

For now I guess it just makes me wonder if I should take a break too?? Like seeing yourself over and over in the tag is almost a wake up call that I should step back like everyone else is for the time being? Bc like idk if it’s maybe annoying to see the same person over and over? Or if it’s just the reminder of how inactive things are and that’s what makes people step back too?

Not even a bad thing necessarily like you said, bc this is still an unprecedented case of a fandom being quite active despite the circumstances.

Honestly though, even if there isn’t much news going into May and in the couple months after it, beyond like the bare minimum of what we’re expecting, I’ll try to embrace it and maybe step back or even focus on more detailed posts instead of the day to day fodder.

I also hate myself for this, but I rarely go in the top posts tag??? I’m always like living in the recent posts part of it and that’s probably also the problem 😭

So reminder to anyone that’s like me who does the same, we gotta support more of us that have top posts too bc I will literally remember the top posts exists, go there, find absolute gems (obviously it’s top posts???) and then be like why the fuck don’t I come here more often??? That’s another way I could probably curb my disappointment about us not being as active as I’m used to. And it’s super simple.

There’s a lot of stuff like that I could do better at to contribute to the solution of this being a better experience for myself and other still active on here!

Thanks for the pep talk anón 😇🙏

[trueliarose]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thanks for the tag @givereadersahug (x)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I currently have 5 works, but there's a few drafts ready to be posted and a few works anonymous because of fests. Yay!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

136k - wow, that is a lot. I didn't even realise I crossed the 100k mark on my long WIP.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling 

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Finding (a way) Home (Snape&Harry Mentor, 100k, WIP!, rated M)

(secret fest-fic)

Of Kittens and Serpents (Poppy/Minerva, 6k, rated T)

Gaining Sight (Severus&Harry, drabble, rated T)

Silent Tears (Severus&Sirius, 1k, rated T)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do, eventhough most of the times I am too emotional to write a long response. I'm so, so humbled whenever someone takes the time to leave me a comment!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm not sure, probably Silent Tears (Severus&Sirius, 1k) but could also be Gaining Sight (Severus&Harry, 300 words)... but there are more in my drafts, so this will probably change soon.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Of Kittens and Serpents (Poppyscotch, fluff, 6k) definetely!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

So far I don't and I hope it will stay this way. I will never understand why people feel the need to hate on things (especially free stories on the internet... why?)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I am - I didn' think I would, but then it somehow happened and in the future I'll try to do it more often.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't (so far) but there are so many ideas in my head it might only be a matter of time.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Luckily no.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No. It would be an honour, and I did even get asked once, but as I don't feel comfortable seeing my work outside of AO3 it didn't work out.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven't and I don't know if I would be any good at it. It could go one of two ways: either it works out very well or I annoy the person I'm working with so much that they quit.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

This depends so much on my current state of mind (and which fandom I am reading at the moment). I love to explore characters and ships in different fandoms, I will never be able to answer this.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

As I only have one WIP on which I am working I hope I will finish it. (but to be honest my updates on Finding (a way) Home are slower than I'd like because I participate in too many fests)

16. What are your writing strengths?

Depicting emotions (especially dark ones), maybe also describing them in a way that pulls the readerin (especially ones linked to trauma)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

SPAG, writing fluff without adding a little dark/sad/angsty moment, keeping my works short if I don't have a set limit

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Why not? I have done it, but as a reader I appreciate if the author provides a translation because google can be a little off sometimes and it is sad if you lose depth/meaning because of that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Twilight (so, so many years ago and luckily no longer available anywhere on the internet)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

right now: Fae Blessings (Lovegood family fluff, 1.5k)

Tagging (no pressure): @serenaew @sanctuary-angel

[lady-phasma]

Wow thankyou so much much for replying back and for also for @gemini-mamaadding their opinion. It meant a lot to me. And also I don’t feel alone as I haven’t been able to talk to anyone else about this. 💕💕It has really helped me a lot and I did have a cry over it. It’s been really hard this week as for some reason. I have realised I’m more invested in a character/actor and their life than my own life. And so scared to be vulnerable to date etc. Your advice was so kind and compassionate. I am also going to read the article you linked me to too.

I’ve also thought a lot about my life and I’m determined to get back out there. These connections can be lovely (in your head) but they are stifling because that person is doing things in their lives and it looks so damn amazing and I’m in the office having to tick off tasks for the day! I have a brilliant trip aboard scheduled for the summer and have been working out etc but today I did have a McDonald’s because I felt so low. 

I’m re- reading your advice and will be taking it onboard.

I think I also need to take a step back from fandom for the next couple of weeks because I see things that I don’t really like but people on tumblr go crazy for. And I feel bad for having opinions that are not positive or supportive. An example would be EM at the last comic con event where he was pushing his chest out to show off his mesh top. I thought that was very Liam Gallagher and Oasis of him and slightly arrogant, whereas Steve T seemed so refined, gentlemanly and was taking it all in his stride. Maybe as an older actor he didn’t feel the need to peacock? I am also older than EM (never fancied anyone younger in my life! 🫣🫣) and have liked Matt Smiths energy more than EM’s recently. But even with that there has to be a line drawn. I do not know MS at all and have no connection with him!

I think I am alittle scared of dating and putting myself out there but I have also been confused about the type of person I would like to be with. This experience has taught I wouldn’t want to be with anyone younger than me because it just feels like the reality would be very different to the fantasy.  I don’t want any regrets and I really can’t allow this to get in my way.

I think I’m also envious alittle of the confidence that EM has. Or is perceived to have. I know he has probably worked really hard but it does all seem to happening so young for him and the other younger cast mates. I had an ugly duckling complex when I was younger and even though people say I’m good looking I have an insecurity especially about my nose so I found it fascinating when EM came out with a prominent chin. I love his chin and it fits his face but I’m envious of his confidence and the fact he hasn’t let it get in the way. Sorry for saying that but that is how I feel - please be kind to me. I wiuld love to hear your views. 💕💕

thank you again for being kind to me. 🥰🥰

Hi anon! I'm sorry I couldn't get back to this right away. My job got really stressful this week and then more HotD press and chaos.

I am so glad that you saw @gemini-mama's reblog! It was a lovely addition. 💕

I will always be kind to you nonnie! I just wish I could respond to every point you made. Please don't ever let that stop you from coming to my inbox though.

A few thoughts after the cut.

Dating is difficult for nearly everyone. For plenty of people "age is just a number" and they go by personality. I find that difficult irl (with intimate relationships). There are so many factors that I'm not going to go into, but I'm flexible. I can't say "I won't ever" because I might meet someone five years younger or 10 years older than myself and be smitten!

Switching to appearances, I love love love Ewan's jaw. Just like I love Matt's chin and ears and lack of eyebrows. What makes us unique, makes us beautiful! I'm self-conscious about some of my physical features but the insecurities started to go away in my 30s. Do I still think my lips are too thin? Yup, do I care any more? Nope. They've been the same for 41 years, they aren't getting any bigger!

There's nothing anyone can ever say to us to change how we think about our appearance. Maybe your envy of Ewan isn't a bad thing, maybe it can help you see that other people can inhabit their body without openly conveying how they feel about it. I hope he loves how he looks, but most humans don't.

I hope your break is good for you and that you come back refreshed. I would love to hear what you have to say about episode one after it airs (all the episodes if you want to stop by and chat about them)!

One last thing, Ewan's style: I have the unpopular opinion that he and Matt need to fire their stylists and borrow Olivia's. But I don't think Ewan was pushing his chest out to show off. My take (and I made a few slow motion gifs of that outfit) is that he was probably in his head, trying to get past nerves, and not fuck up and spoil anything. Like I said in my other ask, he's young, he's figuring it out.

Again, sorry for the delay. I'm always here if you need me, even if it takes me a moment to answer. 💜

[notthewriteryourelookingfor]

Incloming rant and a thought about MattPatt, his theories, and 5 Nights At Freddy's:

I want to preface this by saying that I have nothing against MattPatt, he seems like a cool dude, a swell guy even, he obviously has fun, and a lot of his ideas are creative and entertaining.

I also want to point out that this is not being said "now that he's retired", I have come into the fandom very late (only really got into it due to wanting to go see the movie cuz the Jim Hensen company made the animatronics and I am an autistic slut for physical props and effects. If I'd been in the fandom earlier, this may have come up before his retirement.

.

.

So MattPatt's first FNAF theory was that the game was referencing a real life shooting that happened at a Chuck E Cheese.

And I literally cannot let that go.

I realise that the internet in general was very different back then, it was more "edgy", I was like 20 at the time, so I was online and I know how the internet was. Im p sure I was on tumblr where shit like that was very common.

But it makes me see MattPatt's theories, all of them, in the light of "this is a man who played a jumpscare video game obviously based on Chuck E Cheese as a concept (tho I'm p sure in like the 70s-80s animatronic restaurants were a big thing and considering Scott's age it wouldn't be surprising if he'd gone to a few for fun/parties/family outings) and went "ah yes this is referencing a real life mass shooting."

Maybe it's cuz I'm not American, maybe y'all are a lil more comfortable with mass shootings than I am (im Australian, we've had maybe 3 since 2000) but that not only seems like a massive reach, it also feels really disrespectful.

I know that MattPatt was very "respectful" in the video and said he didn't want to make light of the event or joke about it but I feel like just making this video to begin with did that.

Videos aren't something that just appear out of the ether with no way to control what it says: he thought it up, sat down, wrote a script, filmed, ans edited it, and never once went "Oh wait I'm making light of an actual tragedy where people actually died maybe I shouldn't put this out"?

Like even if you have no other ideas, just say that? Just be like "wow this is a doozy, guys, let's break down the game play and maybe reference the event but not make a full video about it"?

But let's say that MattPatt was correct and that Scott was referencing a real mass murder that killed real people with jumpscare animatronics: that's a shitty game. That's a shitty idea for a game.

I mean I'm probably going to get people coming at me like "You're too sensetive" "you're reading too much into it" or "you never heard of true crime?" To which I answer, in order, "yes I am very sensitive it's unfortunately who I am as a person I spent too much of my childhood trying not to be and it really hurt me and decimated my mental health. So fuck off", "FNAF fandom is literally 'there is no limit to how deep you can read into it' that's why it's so popular and why there are so many ideas on what it's really about", and "yes I know about true crime, I also have an issue with some true crime, generally those who make light of horrible things and also my general rule of thumb is "if the parents/children/significant other of the victim(s) are still alive and could see your media, maybe don't make it." I mean an average of 50 years is about what I'm comfortable with if it's being used in the "true crime" space. But that does have exceptions based on why it's being talked about. But I think that's another rant."

What I'm trying to say is that I have trouble with MattPatt, and his theories in general, not because of "Gregory is a robot recreation of the Crying Child" (cuz that's fun and interesting and also is actually understandable if u look at the mimic???) But because he likened FNAF, which at the time was a silly lil indie game about animatronic animals (that are possessed by children but rarely actually talk about it) to a real murder spree.

He compared a digital bear, chicken, bunny, and fox, to real people who lost their lives.

And that makes me look at everything he does, even now when it's been like 9 years, and he's definitely grown and changed and maybe even apologised for that, in that lense.

He's like 37 now, meaning that he was 28 at the time. It's not like he was an edgy teen with no understanding of how his actions impact others.

I realise this looks like I hate him, that I'm holding his past mistakes against him, and I want to confirm: I don't hate him, he's entertaining to watch and I'm sad hes not doing theories any more,

But at the same time, I wish he'd not have made that one video and I can't not think about it with every theory he puts out. It's why I can't watch his other channels (also I looked at style theory & some of the ideas seemed lazy to me but that's my own bias) because it has poisoned his ideas slightly in my mind and I'm now very wary of what he's saying.

.

.

.

I will add that I have a similar problem with a fair few theoriest were they're like "I've solved this" and then shill out for a very obvious scam company or a company like BetterHelp or HelloFresh months after we all found out they were trash so it's not like they had a few more contract obligations. It's like "I realise that you need to make money, but you're actively promoting harmful stuff in an Advert (at least it's labelled as that) and it makes me feel like I can't trust your judgement on things."

.

.

.

Anyway, please don't hate on me, this is just something I've been struggling with for a few months now and I'm curious to see if anyone else thinks the same or had any helpful thoughts they would like to share.

Also if MattPatt has apologised for it, please let me know where I can watch/read it cuz part of me feels like if I see him acknowledge that it was probs not a great thing to do, it probs won't feel so weird about it anymore.

It's like our parents always said: we need to be careful of what we put online cuz it could follow us forever.

[yoongihan]

Hello! I'm kind of a new Stay and I was wondering if you could describe the boys so I can get to know them better?

I've been listening to some of their songs some time ago and recently I discovered more and I realised I really like them and want to know what they're like.

Sorry, this has taken me ages to get to, friend. I kind of knew it might end up being a stupidly long response. :D

first of all, welcome to the fandom. I'm relatively new myself (not even a year old yet) so I'm not sure if I'm the best source for you, but here we go:

(goes without saying that these are my opinions and interpretations of what I've seen of the members, so take that for what it is)

Bang Chan: softest leader, works too hard and for too long, ridiculously talented at everything he does, arranges pretty much every skz song. He loves his members so much (he chose them after all) and I can see that he is constantly striving for something, and I hope that he knows that he's enough just as he is.

Lee Know: Lee Minho is a shy but savage; serious but silly; tsundere. I don’t think I’ve seen a more real tsundere than him. He’s an animal lover, and that’s definitely how he treats his members. He’s the dance captain, and honestly his ability to both dance splendidly and instruct spendidly is kind of amazing. Oh, he’s a total tease, too.

Changbin: Probably the most changed from debut to now, in terms of appearance. He was skinny and angular back then, now he’s built and filled out and in so doing puts all the ‘skinny kpop idol’ standards in the trash, bless him. Still the most aggressive rapper, possibly the fastest in kpop (there are debates, but he’s up there for sure), but really soft and cute too. He is the big brother for the younger members, and wants to always be that for them though I hope he knows he can share his worries too. 

Hyunjin: Doesn’t matter how many times I see Hyunjin, I’m still blown away by his beauty. He’s more than his looks, yes, but we can pause and just say wow. He’s the most incredible dancer and performer, drawing everyone’s eyes. At heart, he’s a romantic not just about love, but about beauty, art, and idealizing things. He’s a goof when with his members, which makes him all the more lovable. 

Han: (though this is in age order, i’ve saved this one for last because well...it’s Jisung). The goofiest, silliest, most wonderful human. From trainee to idol, probably has the most dramatic of character arcs. He has grown so much into a compassionate, caring man. He’s incredibly smart both in the music he writes, but also his humor (it’s so quick). The moodmaker of the group, a total homebody when not in ‘idol’ mode, Rapper and vocalist extraodinaire, he’s my favorite to watch because of his facial expressions. Like most comedians, behind the humor there is a lot of depth and sometimes melancholy (which you see in his songs). I hope he gets all the kisses he desires. 

Felix: Sunshine. Absolutely pure sunshine. On stage, he’s just as lethal as any of the members on stealing the audience’s breath and souls, but off stage: he doesn’t steal your heart because he would never do that. You might offer him your heart and he’ll hold it for a bit, infuse it with the warmth of a mild summer day fragrant of flowers and grass, then hand it back for you to take care of. Your heart will never be the same. He’s skinship personified, a quiet nature and big smile.

Seungmin: Funny. So funny and smart. His voice is a gift from the angels, but his humor is all sarcasm and epic timing. He’s a deep thinker and such a hard worker. He’s the type of person I wish to be friends with because I think he just would be inspiring to be around. He seems so normal on the surface, but he’s just as weird as the rest of them. But truly, his voice is incredible, it belongs in a museum for all to admire and pay tribute to. 

I.N.: The maknae who has definitely grown up in the last two years. A unique voice and a bright laugh. His smile is probably the most wonderful thing on the planet. He’s very long-suffering with his members, though he loves them very much even when the doting gets on his nerves. He’s very grounded. As young as he is, he often seems very even-keeled and chill. Savage in his own right, he gives as good as he gets. 

[evelhak]

Hi Eve! Hope it's a good day! I'm curious to know about your art process, where does inspiration come from for you? Lots of love 😘, V.

Wow, that's a big question. Short answer is everywhere but obviously that doesn't really say anything. This is hard for me to describe, so thank you for asking such a challenging question. A key feature in inspiration for me is that there's something I need to exist that doesn't exist. Before I start my fan art and fan fiction, a new project especially, I typically have gone through a lot of other people's art, not finding what I'm looking for, and eventually ending up with the conclusion that I have to do it myself. Like, I would be happy just consuming if what I wanted existed in the world. Maybe it's not quite so clear cut, but I think it's heightened on the fandom side of things for me. Yes, in my original work my initial inspiration is similar but I think on that side I would still have the need to create for fun even if I didn't think I HAD TO bring something specific that was missing, to existence.

So, when an existing story and characters are my inspiration it's things that come together in my head from various threads that are sort of just hanging or floating there in the original material that I see no one drawing together, and I get a little frustrated typically, because I realise these things are not going to come together and then I NEED to draw those threads together, because otherwise it won't happen, and I need it to happen. So, it's things like "Why isn't anyone writing this character in these situations?" "Why isn't anyone paying attention to this underlying pattern?" "Why haven't I seen this joke made before it's literally on a silver platter, why does everyone pass by it?" "Why is this character so underappreciated?" "Why isn't anyone talking about the similarities between this series and that literary work or a fairytale?" So, a lot of times it's that I see missed opportunities.

That's not nearly enough for me to actually draw or write something though, because my projects are just usually big because my brain is like that somehow, so they really have to be worth my time for me to start what I know will eventually be huge. And I think that happens when the things that I see mentioned above tie into a bigger context, a bigger theme that I think is important in the world and that it should be talked about more. Of course sometimes I just have fun and giggles within those projects but it's rare for me to start unless there's something in it that I feel is meaningful thematically and psychologically. Basically something that has the potential to heighten people's self awareness and understanding of the world, and the feeling of community. I know this is so abstract and broad but I can't really help thinking these things. It's not like I'm fantasizing about having a big impact necessarily, it's more like awareness of these things just affects my small choices in art and life.

So, um, I'm trying to give examples to bring this a bit more to the ground level.

In my She-Ra comics one big theme was Adora's abuse because it wasn't on the screen the way Catra's was (for a good reason, I mean that's the point), and I felt like some people were missing how important part of the original story that was, so I felt like making the effects of it visible in a way that a children's show obviously couldn't have.

In KnB a lot of my inspiration is things like... "Fujimaki is unknowingly representing something he doesn't understand at all so he's writing accidental minority characters and then he's using those qualities for barely more than running gags, while so much more could be done with these things and this representation could actually make a difference in someone's life if the angle was shifted ever so slightly".

Obviously I already love these stories, I am a fan of them and I think they are doing so many things right, and that's why when I see something missing or I see fandom interpreting things in a way that I think is mischaracterising something, or even toxic, I just feel like I need to do something.

In my original work the process is similar, just less specific in a way. It's a bit broader. Like, I feel like something is missing in the fantasy genre, or some relationship trope is too toxic and overpowering, or detective novels are the antithesis of everything they stand upon, or "not interpreting this fairytale in this way in this time and age is so tone-deaf". Ideas like that come to my head, so then I have to do something about it.

So. In a way a lot of my inspiration to do things is sparked by something being wrong or missing, which is a bit ironic because in the end my fuel for art has always been joy. I can't really do things out of pain like some artists can, for me it's always happiness that keeps me going because really I see no point without it. I suppose that's why my art is also all about growth, even though it deals with heavy topics, the point of it is always overcoming your obstacles and becoming a better and happier version of yourself.

I guess I could conclude with how I have this love and hope for the human nature, and I easily see the best version someone could be, mentally. I see them loving themself and seeing their own good qualities and treating others with respect and opening up to other people, and inviting the world in. I always have hope because I see that so clearly in everyone, in a specific way that is all about who they are as a person, so it's like... I wish that if I could write characters that people love, in a way that demonstrates that hope, and growth, someone who is struggling could be inspired by those characters. That those characters could help them see the way out of their misery and also call people out when they are treating others or themselves badly. Because the power of example is way more effective than telling someone what to do, because the individual has the freedom and responsibility of interpretation when it comes to examples. And really, I believe that's how it should be because we can't influence anyone who doesn't want to be influenced, no matter the good intentions.

That's... my inspiration, in (not so) short? In the end I'm just a naive idealist with a need to butt in, but with the added benefit of an adult's self-awareness and complexity of thought, haha. And I'm aware I'm a weird, reluctantly obsessive fan artist, because really I want to focus on my original stuff and I want to be able to live by my pen and be an "original" artist, but I can never give up fandom because that's where I feel my specific skill set is utilized to its peak. Because my art process is so source based, that obviously the more specific, the more well defined the source is, the stronger the impact of the things I can bring out of it is too, because I know how to use the reader's expectations and viewpoints way more specifically than I can know them in a broader landscape, such as a whole genre I might be writing my original fiction in.

And this is why things like Sherlock Holmes becoming public domain is like a lottery win for me! That's a very specific but also huge and incredibly complex and popular source that inspires me right now!

Thank you again for the ask, and I hope my answer wasn't too overwhelming.

[lediz-watches]

Legend of a mind

Okay, I'm five episodes in and certainly enjoying myself, but I am also incredibly frustrated, and distracted, and want this show to be so much better than it is and arghhh...!

I’m liveblogging The Winchesters as a Supernatural!virgin. Please keep my lack of knowledge in mind if you continue...

In episode thoughts:

Hey, X-Files. So X-Files. What is it with episodes calling back to other shows? Is it intentional?

ADA YOU ARE SO SUS.

Ah, at least this time she has a reason to be suspicious. Somehow I’m not buying that she’s only sus to protect her son. I think she got the son by being sus. In another show, I think Ada would be the example of darkness that John and Mary would need to turn back from, but here I feel like she’s just… par for the course.

This makes me kind of sad.

I suddenly realise I don’t remember how Ada relates to the others. Carlos and Lata are at least clearly friends with Mary and trying to be her partners, but Ada was just… Henry’s partner I think? Except she already knew Mary and Co? I don’t remember. It doesn’t bother me overmuch, but… yeah. I’m distracted, suddenly.

Betty should be a bigger character. She feels bigger than she is.

…Tony’s actor deserves a different script. What is it about dream-jumping characters having such bad scripting? And this actor’s too real, too heavy for the lines. He’s saying words that fit someone floaty and sweet, and he’s just… solid. It doesn’t fit.

LATA SHOULD BE IN A LABCOAT IN A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR LAB. This scene is so distracting in how it doesn’t fit the context…! My supernatural cop show would be terrible but still fit these characters more.

Oh, Carlos… you are a terrible actor. Please stop. Please. Honey. Please.

Wow, Mary’s being like… good this episode? Like… heroic good? I’m… confused by this sudden lack of pragmatism.

Okay, see, Tony’s much better in this scene where he’s being practical and brisk. A doctor who uses magic. It works. It was just that one scene that didn’t fit his style, and it fell apart because of exposition. That’s so frustrating.

Side note – X-Files actually had the same problem quite often! So it’s on-brand for this episode, at least.

Okay, I don’t LIKE John, but at least he’s consistent when they’re not trying to make him seem naïve and charming. He’s a hardline jerk who belongs in the 70s with its toxic masculinity. The fact he’s not being kind when forcing Mary to deal with her stuff is very true to that line.

That punch was uh… that was a thing that happened.

MARY HE IS GOING TO DRAG YOU DOWN SO HARD.

YES LATA WRITE TO THAT BOY. Exchange flirty pictures. I approve of this practical magic pairing.

…This episode is so X-Files, I love it.

Okay.

Okay.

So, five episodes in, let’s reflect.

I am… enjoying myself. But I don’t think I could handle a LOT of this. Like, there are a few things that are turning me off, and they’re things I suspected about Supernatural too. Things that stopped me from even trying, because I knew I’d end up frustrated.

The characters are… both shallow and complicated in a way that is frustrating. As in like… they are shallow representations of complex issues. Please don’t roast me fandom, I am five episodes into a prequel series that is clearly talking to something that had like 20 years of exploration. I appreciate that I don’t know what I’m talking about.

Like, take John for example. He’s not a good guy. There are too many things about him that are dark, with no self-awareness, no desire to be good. He just assumes himself to be Right, and Therefore Good. And… because he’s the main character, in theory, I don’t know how we’re supposed to feel about him. Are we watching his downfall or are we rooting for him to succeed regardless of the cost?

…I am having sudden Star Wars prequels flashbacks… Is John Annakin? I feel like John is Annakin.

 Meanwhile Mary… wants to be redeemed. She wants to be saved from this life. But John is not a saviour.

Carlos is a saviour. But he can’t save John, and Mary wants to be saved by John. She doesn’t respect Carlos enough to be saved by him, which is… both appropriate to her character and the time and yet really freaking annoying. Because he’d be so good as a saviour character.

In fact, you know what? Carlos is in the wrong show. He’s in the wrong show! He should be in some anime inspired nonsense where he can truly be the dark magical girl he doesn’t know he so desperately wants to be.

And this show… argh, it is so very set in the 70s. John is such a 70s male character, but the show is not a 70s show! The show is a 2000s SyFy channel series with 2020 sensibilities. I love the diversity, I love the way the characters exist so comfortably in themselves, but every time we are reminded that it’s the 70s I get absolute whiplash because none of these characters would be treated this well by the people they’re interacting with. I mean, I don’t want to watch another treatise on why the past sucks, but these characters are outsiders already. Show me their struggles to exist even on the periphery of society so I can believe their situation!

But then… Jay’s posts imply this may actually be an alternate reality. Maybe that’s why. This is an alternate reality, where 70s America was much more enlightened, and 50 years into the future we will all be happy and Get Along. Maybe that’s it. Next episode, I’m going in with that mentality.

So, TL;DR: I’m enjoying it, but I’m also very frustrated by it. ARGH. Anyway. I’m moving onto chapter six.

(or back to chapter one if you care.)

[rachelfivehundred]

A Year in Review & Looking Ahead - 2022 edition

Wow.  If I thought 2021 was a bit of a struggle writing wise, it had nothing on 2022.  I’ve really, really struggled to have the energy and motivation to write.  The upshot of it all is that I definitely did not achieve my 2022 goals.

Original Fiction/Non-Fiction: No original story.  I’ve pretty much left my Vocal account go fallow. 

I did have a great idea over the Summer but things were incredibly stressful with work and that took up all my headspace.  Then I started a new job...and I just do not have the bandwidth to start what I know will be a big project.

I thought I’d focus on fanfiction instead...

Fanfiction:

I started out in reasonable shape... January: I posted two stories in my Stargate Aftershocks series:-

Faulty Beliefs, coda to S8 Icon: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36128263

Faith, coda to S8 Avatar: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36573985

and after a weird YouTube spiral a fic I thought I’d never write, a Sex and the City/And Just Like That fanfic in Samantha’s POV: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36232627

February: I posted two more S8 Aftershocks:-

Limited Choices, a coda to S8 Affinity: https://archiveofourown.org/works/36921310

Second Chances, a coda to S8 Covenant:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/37369066

March: I posted all 3 of my entries into the Big Moxie Q1 Challenge which was Canon Divergence.  I chose to take Tony DiNozzo in 3 different directions, one at the start of his NCIS career (Rule One), one in the middle (Rule Fifty-One), and one at the end (Rule Five).  These are collated into my Variations on DiNozzo series: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2812654

And then things started to go a bit off track. I signed up for April’s and July’s Rough Trade, but could not complete either of my fics due to energy issues.  

I did manage to post something for Q2′s Big Moxie Fusion/Sentinel as the deadline was extended but wasn’t completely happy with it.  I preferred my original attempt but that was too short for the challenge itself.

The Mand’alor’s Guide: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40284972

Seeing Clearly: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40328322

I attempted my Q3 Big Moxie, but could not complete on time for posting.

I only just squeaked in with my Q4 Big Moxie Soulmates - posting today:

Very Special Magic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43973778

So.  Not a particularly great showing.  Of everything I’ve written Seeing Clearly is probably my favourite of this year’s story-writing.

Fanfic Decluttering / Works in Progress:

Having decluttered my writing folder last year, I find myself at the turn of this year reviewing the folder and realising I might need to do the same again.  I have many incomplete fics written as part of challenges or just when my muse struck. I have too many now to list below.

Goals in 2023:

Original Fiction: I’d like to keep my 2022 goal and write one original story in 2023 but only if I get the headspace for my idea.

Fanfiction:

Still focused on finishing up Aftershocks.  I like the fact that I managed to make a little progress in 2022, even if there are still a sizeable number of fics still left to finish S8 (10).

I’m taking part in the Big Moxie Challenge again which is a second goal.

Other than that, I am not committing to completing anything else WIP or to start finishing up another series - I know people are keen on my writing the rest of the A Step to the Right series in Harry Potter fandom and I am still committed to doing it sometime in the future but not in 2023.    

If you’ve read to the end of this, once again thank you for your patience :) Hope you have a wonderful 2023!

[write-it-motherfuckers]

Watching the stranger run off in fright, you sighed, turning your gaze down towards the culprit. Rolling your eyes at their smug expression, you lightly tapped them on the snout, giving them a look, even as your lips twitched.

“You’re going to get us both in trouble one day, you can’t just hiss and snap at every arsehole that harasses me.” You said dryly.

The completely unapologetic look on your lovers face had you rolling your eyes again as you turned to continue on your way, knowing that your words would make no difference. Content with the result of their actions, they wriggled their body back past the collar of your shirt and settled against you again, cool scales making you shiver, despite the layers you were wearing. 

Quietly you muttered about making them stay home next time, though you both knew the threat was an empty one. As always they would convince you to take them with you, using the cold as an excuse to cuddle up beneath your clothes against your warm skin in this form, and as always you would give in to their honeyed words, secretly enjoying it just as much as they did.

Both of you knew that their reasoning was mostly a farce, an excuse to stay close to you and ward off any creeps or persistent flirts. And as much as you would mutter and scold them, you also both knew that you didn’t really hate it like you pretended to.

Privately, the two of you smiled, well aware that you weren’t fooling each other, but enjoying the lighthearted fuss all the same. You both knew you wouldn’t change a thing.

[tsarisfanfiction]

The Sun

Fandom: Trials of Apollo Rated: Teen Genre: Angst/Tragedy Characters: Artemis, Apollo, Zeus, Meg McCaffrey

Apollo plays the role of an idiot well enough that often, it’s forgotten that he’s one of the most powerful gods - and one of the most wrathful.

Wow it’s been a while, but I’m poking at @flashfictionfridayofficial’s weekly prompts once again; this week is setting heaven on fire which plays nicely with an idea I had the other day.  Warning for major character death in this one.  This clocks in at 968 words, according to MSWord.

Apollo wasn’t the god of fire.  He was the god of many things, including the sun, but the domain of fire belonged to his half-brother (and Helios, once upon a millennia).

Right now, it was difficult to remember.

Zeus had pushed her brother too far, Artemis realised.  It was no idle musing, like she’d done in the past when her idiot twin prodded one button too many and their father’s retaliation had been swift and brutal. Apollo’s crimes had never fit his punishment, had always seemed far more severe than the situation demanded, but she was used to that by now.

Idle musing had no place in her mind right now.  Not with half the Olympians cowering in their thrones, covering their eyes against the god within their midst.

And this was why Zeus always came down hard on Apollo, driving him far enough under his thumb that he’d never dare challenge the king of the gods – because Zeus had defeated his father, and feared history repeating itself.  Because of all of Zeus’ children, equal though they were supposed to be, there was one who stood above the rest.  One who, once, had been blessed with a vast array of power, barely short of the Big Three themselves.

By Zeus, ironically, before his paranoia had caught up with him and he’d started seeing his children as threats.

The sad thing was, Apollo would never have opposed him.  Zeus’ harsh punishments had done their job and kept him, if not meek, because Apollo was never meek, but afraid.  Too afraid to ever stand up to him.

Until now.  Until Zeus’ latest punishment did the opposite of what he’d intended and gave Apollo insight into what had been happening to him, gave the god of knowledge the last few details he’d always missed – probably on purpose, if Artemis knew her twin at all.  Until Meg McCaffrey entered his life and turned four millennia upside-down within the span of six months.  Rude, irreverent Meg McCaffrey, who had no love for the gods and no fear of retribution.

No fear when she insulted Zeus one time too many, and the king of the gods reached his very short limit.

The young girl probably didn’t even realise she was dead, yet, the strike had been so swift.  Her soul would be face to face with Charon, berating him with all the disrespect she could fit in her small – too small – body, and her sudden change in location and living status likely had yet to register.

Up in Olympus, it had certainly registered with Apollo.

The sun always shone brighter than the moon, yet the sun always invigorated the moon, so Artemis was able to keep her poise on her silver throne.  Either side of her, her fellow goddesses were less fortunate. Love was powerful, and Aphrodite was the eldest of them all, but it was love that had sent Icarus flying up to the sun, and love that had failed to save him from its wrath.  Wisdom was knowing when you were outclassed and when to step back, a quality Athena was exhibiting marvellously as she leaned back, as far away from the inferno as her throne would allow.

Further, on both sides, nature was withering as the thing that gave it life flipped the coin and snatched it away instead.  Neither Demeter’s nor Dionysus’ thrones could withstand the sun so close.  Hera’s precious family was splintering before her eyes, but she was the Queen of Olympus and refused to cower even as her peacocks boiled alive.  At the end of the hall, a young girl desperately tended to her erratic hearth, the division of family affecting Hestia’s domain, too.

Hermes could go everywhere, with no restrictions, but he’d never been a match for his older brother and flattery, bribes and trickery meant nothing when the eleventh throne was merely collateral.  They were all collateral, really.  Beside the sweating messenger of the gods, the disfigured god of the forges sat unaffected by the inferno, although even Hephaestus preferred to look at something he was fiddling with than stare directly at the sun.

The other side of the empty golden throne sat the god of war, leaning forwards eagerly as though that would distract from the shades he’d materialised across his eyes, or the way beads of sweat rolled down his bulging muscles.  Ares was no less affected than the rest of them.

The sun could destroy water no more than water could extinguish the sun, and Poseidon lounged in his throne as a curious observer, watching and waiting to see what would happen. To see which would stand down first; the sun, or the sky.

Lightning was still crackling, the Master Bolt agitated to match the state of its wielder.  Zeus was thunder – not like thunder, but thunder itself, black and furious and loud.  Kronos’ children had used trickery to overthrow him, but Apollo was no trickster.  Apollo was bright, blindingly so, and incapable of not being the centre of attention at any given moment.

Now, standing before the king of the gods with none of the fear and respect Zeus expected, he was demanding every ounce of attention Olympus had to give, unapologetic and raging in a way only the sun could be.  He was setting heaven on fire, the bringer of life reminding them that it was also the bringer of death, and that the switch between the two was something as fragile as a mortal child.

Like all tyrants, Zeus had unwittingly created his own enemy, and Artemis didn’t know how it was going to end – foresight was Apollo’s domain, although whether he was using it right then, she had no way to tell – but she knew that, however the clash resolved, it would be remembered for millennia to come.

[mintchochipkookie]

hiii so I know your post about how ridiculous the growing number of anti-zuko takes are was from months ago, but I somehow ran into a lot of them the other day and your post was a very necessary palette cleanser so. first of all thank you for that!! though you did mention that there’s 2 instances where you don’t think zuko’s particularly well-written, and I’m really curious as to what those are if you’d like to share

Ah, thank you Anon, that's so nice to hear. I get irrationally worked up when I see bad Zuko and Toph takes so that rant kinda just got away from me hahah

And yes, there are only 2 things I would rewrite about Zuko's entire arc. The first is a minor scene from the finale that quite frankly, didn’t need to be there at all? I think it was Br*ke’s attempt at humour and it makes me want to pull my hair out because the logic of writing that scene is beyond me. When they’re looking for Aang, Toph is talking about her relationship with her parents (or lack thereof) and Zuko just makes a face and basically tells her to shut up?????????? Have these men watched their own show I’m so–

Literally in the previous episode Toph and Zuko have a heart to heart about Iroh’s love for him, but suddenly let’s play Toph’s trauma up for laughs I’m actually getting so heated rn lmao. The overdramatic violins playing while she talks and the offhanded “worst field trip ever” while Zuko walks away, wow such writing much wow. How many decisions were made to write, animate, and include that in the final cut, and what did it add to the story? Jackshit, and it’s very uncharacteristic for Zuko, who has been nothing but empathetic and caring for a season and a half, so go figure.

The second one. sigh. I don’t even want to talk about it because someone will def jump on the bullshit narrative of me being a dumb salty ZK shipper. So I’m gonna give yet another disclaimer for this fandom. I’ve answered plenty of asks about this in the past too, and I’ve made it very clear that my feelings about the canon ships (and certain characters) were not affected by my love for Zutara, rather it was the other way round. While watching the show I certainly thought that there was a lot in the writing that implied Zutara, it wasn’t until I sat with the show for a couple of weeks that I realised actually really love the ship. I was angry at the end kisses and stand by the fact that no one should’ve kissed and coupled up, but the fact that it was those two…guys I just. Who allowed these men to write for television I’m crying.

Anyone who’s been here a while knows that I’m not much of a shipper and I’ve never shipped a non-canon ship before because I’m not one of those people who goes out of their way to find hidden romantic subtext between two characters who so much as exist in the same space. I’d much rather explore other relationship dynamics, and tend to get quite bored by romance in general.

So yeah, I stand by the fact that the two canon couples are completely antithetical to the show’s message, and ultimately Br*ke’s fixation on the other one is what led to the show’s end and their protagonist being absolute trash. Talking specifically about Ma/iko tho. Like. The whole point of making them date at the start of S3 was to show us how Zuko doesn’t fit into that life anymore and how it brings out the worst in him???? It was to show us how much he’s changed and how M/ai represents the core FN imperialistic ideologies and how Zuko disagrees with it on a fundamental level???????????? She literally calls him a traitor for defecting, like what. And then suddenly “she loves him more than she fears Azula” (oh lordy I could go on for hours about how that was another completely fucking wasted opportunity to explore an interesting dynamic between the FN girls. And also how that line makes no sense for Mai, and if anyone was scared of Azula, it was Ty Lee but oh well). And then cut to the end scene and they’re making out again without having addressed any of the actual issues in their relationship??? Cool. I hate it here. Reach for your dreams kids, cuz if these men can be successful “writers”, you can do anything!!!!