#wow somehow no s7 in this one

[bakedbakermom]

txf+text posts (16/?)

@phillippadgettwrites i need you to know that note has been bouncing around my head like a dvd screensaver for WEEKS

[6mayhem]

top ten men??

okay.....this is a long personal post BE PREPARED!!! to find me cringe after this

in no particular order and most are also gonna be fictional LOLOLOLOLOL starting with the real people tho

gerard way...what can i say..... just 10/10 who I'm trying to be. All my problems would be solved if I could 100% embody him body mind and soul circa mid 2000s because spiritually that's who i was born to be. also the music is good very good. does he even count as a man anymore everyone's a transgender nowadays. anyway i don't actually know anything abt him apart from the stage persona and that's the way I'm trying to keep it bc everything i learn about celebrities I learn against my will

manuel germanletsplay. god i was so obsessed with him as a teenager. for the americans: he was of the biggest german gaming/minecraft youtubers and national heartthrob among teen girls. everyone shipped him with his friends including me THE FANFICSSSS..... he inspired a lot of transgenderism in me due to his twinky nature and his piano talent and long hair and the fact he never (to this day) showed his face. his persona was like a real life creepypasta character when it comes to sex appeal

isak valtersen skam..... skam is like my longest running hyperfixations i first watched it circa 2017 and have been rewatching at LEAST twice a year since then. idc that it's a teen show.......... he contributed greatly to my transgenderism. I love manipulative teen guys who are just the absolute fucking worst when you look at it objectively. he was such a male manipulator the whole s1 arc rlly made him out to be such a mastermind supervillain it was so silly. and then he got rlly pathetic in s3 ❤️❤️���️❤️ anyway awesome outfits also..And anger issues

mickey milkovich shameless.... don't feel like I need to explain. WHAT AN ARC !!! he's a terrible person but like somehow the most sympathetic character in the entire show. everything past s7 was such flanderization it made me mad as hell but before that waowwaow.....he deserved better. my meowmeow. would move mountains and literally kill people for the most average annoying guy ever (real mickey fans hate ian) (jk hes fine minus the last 2 seasons)

syd march antiviral. what a fucking freak. he's got everything. blood kink. appearance of a sickly victorian child. horrible daddy issues. bisexuality. a thinly veiled transgender subplot. he's just so slimy and greasy and you just wanna punch him the entire movie I love it. big fan. also a male manipulator..U never know how much of his weakness is real and how much is faked to gain people's trust. he's just like me when it comes to obsessing over random beautiful women!!

sven kretschmer from ich hasse liebeslieder. no one knows this book because it was posted in like 2015 on a german fanfiction website but it permanently changed my brain chemistry. wow. i love him so much. he's everything to me. eyeliner wearing bisexual emo with greasy black hair who canonically looks like gerard way and struggles with every mental issue under the sun. erectile dysfunction subplot. has an abusive father. my favorite band is only kj because that's HIS favorite band. you could trace back 90% of who I am as a person to sven. HE BECAME A TATTOO ARTIST ALSO THAT'S SO COOL!!! and he's the most loyal bastard ever just a kicked puppy kinda guy i love men who are really clingy in relationships. but at the same time he also has insane anger issues which I ALSO love in a man GRIN 😁 😁 😁 😁 😁 ^^^^ see above faves this is a whole archetype of guy for me

jack as you are.... See profile pic!! you already knowwwww!!!!! he's just like me fr. sheltered/seen as weak and sensitive and longing to be rebellious and do things to impress other men (in a homosexual way). maybe transgender? maybe killed his best friend/brother/lover!! again...greasy long hair YAYYY!!! the whole movie could be a forcemasc fantasy

mirco from this sorta obscure book called landeplatz der engel....his mother rejected him. the woman who took him in is a prostitute.... he says ableist slurs but is the least ableist person in the whole book...he wears a ring with a jewel in the shape of a boar head how cool is that?? and he stole a car. and does illegal car races. and ditched his girlfriend for his new male best friend. and he's secretly really traumatized but never wants to be a victim and gets mad when you imply his past affected him 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 idk I just love how he never pretends to be a better person than he is, but the opposite of it. He never gives himself credit for how kind he is

will graham... What a fucking freak(2). proves that your life isn't over at 30 you can still find the love of your life and do really weird shit because you decided that the only thing you care about is what a freaky european cannibal thinks of you.

adam saw....what can i say. he's awesome. he's transgender. he's funny. he's tragic. he's in love with a man twice his age while his brain can't decide if it should see him as a father figure or romantic interest. relatable to me personally

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

my oc neph bell because he's awesome and basically me

steve harrington and eddie munson from stranger things bc i still ship it (there's zero canon moments but idgaf about canon its stupid anyway) bc 1. Tragic blond failson with daddy issues and 2. eddie gave me aesthetic aspirations fuel for like a full year before i figured out who i wanna be. so yeah. I'm only a little bit ashamed of this

tyler durden fight club because yeah. and by extension the narrator bc the moments where he acted like a proper weird fucker were so funny and also meeeeeeee x3

nezumi no.6 you edgy fucker

mo folchart inkheart bc i always wanted him to be my father

kurt cobain

my other oc cesar liehmann bc he embodies everything i like re: blond men with anger issues who have to compensate for their average height by acting more confident than they are

free space for whoever i might be forgetting rn. I always have a LOT of thoughts about fictional men....

SHIN TSUKIMI FROM YTTD LOL I REMEMBER BEING CRAZY ABT HIM

max zerophilia... just completely embraces his sexuality and status as a Z. shamelessly in love with both luke and luca. HOT!!!! kind of bad at flirting but it works for him. AND HE'S ALSO HOT AS MICHELLE AND I'M BISEXUAL SO THAT'S THAT

[alitgblog]

was gonna do a march madness bracket for litg characters but I feel like we know which fan favorites are gonna win so instead, with my extra time, I did a hunger games simulator (logical next step lol).

Tried to pick a guy and girl from every season (plus an extra duo from seasons 2,4, and 6 just because I like those seasons lol). With a few exceptions and wild cards, but you'll see.

ANyway the highlights (didn't include every death so if you're wondering what's happening to some characters, you can ask me lol).

I guess first off, Vicki does die very quickly (killed by her someone in own district, Estelle). (FYI I only picked those two because I was like well they're the prettiest ones from S7 lol). Also Theo and Claudia being in character and helping each other out is cool and in character (spoilers: won't stay that way). Jakub is also having a comedy of errors going on, which I fully expect from him. And there's some Gramish interactions in there which is fun. I forgot to screenshot it but they do form a short lived alliance.

Ozzy and Marshall are both messes most of the time: absolutely what I expect out of the two of them. They kind of took over S6 (with Amelia but I didn't put her in this) and fittingly, I am invested in their storyline for this simulator even though at first I just wanted to see who was gonna be the stronger twin lmao. (That's also why S7 has two girls to balance out these two being on the same team.)

Pretty early on, Bruno also kills his own teammate, Angie, and I immediately regret putting in my favorites in the simulator. S4 does get their moment in the spotlight though, because Kelly somehow ends up hunting Suresh. Like I just know if she got more time in litg she'd have my back 😤😤 (even though Suresh is in a different season). This does not go well a few days later, however, when Kelly drinks the poison she meant to give Suresh. And then he steals the idea and then poisons Dana from his own district, wowwww.

Moving on, if you want some insight on my S3 picks, I thought they were all too nice to have to deal with this and after some careful deliberation (I sat around for two minutes trying to think of what would be the funniest option). Anyway so here's an update on how Kerry's doing. She's kind of made an alliance with Lottie, which makes sense Lottie not wanting to work with her fellow district tribute, Jakub.

Anyway next group of killings: goodbye more of my faves (also wtf Theo). Speaking of Theo, he does make an alliance with my district 12 wild card picks which are of course, fan favorites Gareth and Lola. (For the record, Theo does kill Lola later on and Gareth dies of hypothermia. I don't have any other screenshots of the birds I just felt like keeping y'all updated.)

Anyway, it's been a few days, you may be wondering how Ozzy and Marshall are doing: (this happens twice fyi, wow the twins are BONDING)

This might hurt some people: the funny short kings are fighting. This isn't how Bobby dies though, unfortunately the S2 fan favorite humans are killed off by the other two

It seems after this, Lottie's really going through something, now kind of forcing murder on her ally, Kerry. However, she kills Suresh who has like three kills at this point? So, ehh. It goes badly very soon after though, as Lottie BETRAYS Kerry?? Plot twist, damn.

Eventually, Marshall, Estelle, and Theo all team up to hunt others (keep in mind at this point, I believe Estelle and Theo have the most kills). This does not bode well for Marshall and Ozzy finally bonding though. Again, Lottie is going through some mental turmoil probably after all those kills, and asks Ozzy to kill her but he already is trying not to kill anyone.

Anyway that alliance does not last. Estelle walks over a landmine, and Marshall betrays Theo. This is high drama as far as I'm concerned, and of course main character Marshall.

Jakub is still going through a comedy of errors.

Meanwhile, Allegra has just been vibing most of the time. She talked to Tim like once. And she's been getting stuff from sponsors. But somehow has allied with Lottie and I assume that helps Lottie regain her confidence. Because together they kill Ozzy. And Marshall doesn't even know.

We eventually do land on final two Lottie and Marshall. Lottie, who's losing her mind, and Marshall, also not in the best headspace but doubly so now seeking revenge for his brother. It's very much going back and forth who's hunting who.

Anticlimactic, but do we have a winner shortly after because Lottie dies of starvation, and I think Marshall finds the body and it's a weird bittersweet ending because he made it and didn't have to kill her but also didn't get vengeance and has to live with all that.

So so fun.

Anyway feel free to make your own lol

[insert-niche-name-here]

Legends Season 8 Headcanons

Listen this is over a year late but I'm finally coherent enough to give em now that the fandom's more dead than usual–

also some of this is me not liking the writer's choices at the end of s7 and fixing it by Force

(Disclaimer! i am not up to date on the flash or arrow! Or Batwoman! actually i'm only up to date on Legends and Supergirl.)

Instead of the Legends all escaping somehow, they’re stuck in the facility for a month.

Everyone’s learning how to be good time cops, and getting the unpredictability wired out of them, and then–

Oh, fuck. Rip’s not dead. Since when was he not dead? Who knows.

Rip and Jonah Hex are here. And apparently Jax, Ray and Nora, Amaya, Mick, Wally, Lily Stein and Nia Nal are here, too.

Yeah, Nia’s boyfriend also got caught by the time cops, so she’s busting him out and we decided to just join forces. The dream powers were useful when we were trying to find you lot.

Wait, this is where the old time master HQ was?

Fuck.

Welp, time to make it go boom.

Hey, is that an alternate version of Sara–

Okay, okay, everyone’s out and on another alternate waverider, but who the fuck is–

Oh, Necrians grow incredibly fast and that’s Mick’s kid? Sweet.

So, there’s like half a season left–

Oh, right. Alun.

Welp, shouldn’t be hard to make Past Gwyn think Alun is dead so he invents time travel while Current Gwyn and Alun elope in the 21st century.

Update: This man is a scourge on humanity and Alun almost gave it away so many fucking times–

He and Gwyn are societal menaces.

Oh, right. Sara’s pregnant.

She gets coached through giving birth by a combination of Gideon, Lita, and Alex Danvers, who is guest starring this episode to drag Brainy and Nia back and has helped with way too many births of a similar nature.

Isn’t Nate still in the–

Oh, right. Time shenanigans. Zari Tomaz and Nate realized when they were stuck together that they actually are not the same people they once were and Nate is projecting. Oops.

Right person/wrong time. With both Spooner and Nate.

While Ava and Sara are basking in the glow of motherhood, well–

Gwyn and Alun deal with their shit. Finally.

Man /broke time/ for Alun and the man in question is getting hit with a ton of shit at once. I think this time it’s not Ava who goes in and fixes shit, it’s either Amaya (who got plucked from her time into a world of chaos) or Nate (hc’d experience as a repressed queer person who didn’t realize he loved someone until it was too late twice)

Give us an Alun who realized he might like a guy and freaked the hell out. Give me an Alun going through the same 12 stages of WTF Gwyn and Amaya and everyone else time-displaced did. Give me an Alun who doesn’t know what the hell to do and a Nate and Amaya who say neither did we.

An Alun who knows he ain’t ready for a meaningful relationship but goddamn, Gwyn looks like he missed him. An Alun who says That’s My Friend! I Love My Friend! Immediately regardless of how things have changed.

Give me a Nate and Amaya who realize that somewhere along the lines, they changed, too.

The season in my head has ten episodes total– 2 of the Legends getting the fuck out and blowing the prison/time organization up (a la Time Masters Oculus), 1 of massive reunions and 'wow shit's changed' and introductions, 2 of Alun Subplot (because as previously stated, he and Gwyn are tricky shits and it feels like they'd need Outside Help still), 1 Sara's Still Pregnant and Alun's Having A Crisis, one final crossover episode as all the OG shows say goodbye in Style with a chaotic Smell party and get their proper endings if cancelled, and then three that's just straight 'Goodbye, we loved you, thanks for watching the Arrowverse' as characters resolve their final issues to the backdrop of chaotic historical, magical, and temporal missions.

What happens at the end of the season, you ask?

Everyone goes home, whatever that looks like for them. Mick and Kayla and Gideon and Gary and whoever else end up taking over the waverider.

I loved legends of tomorrow. Joined after season 3, had Thoughts but mostly it ended up just coming down to 'this is a chaotic adventure and i'm glad it existed, however briefly'. This show deserved an ending, here's mine.

[buffy-targaryen]

What are the 10 worst things Spike did?

Oh wow, only ten? Okay 🧐 so these are in no particular order, except for number one which is always the main reason why I hate him;

1) Trying to rape Buffy. I literally do not give af what led up to it. Attempted rape is attempted rape, end of.

2) Having sex with Drusilla next to the corpse of Xin-Rong. Disgusting.

3) Stealing Nikki Woods coat after murdering her.

4) Laughing about Kendras murder. Just in bad taste.

5) Saying he would get Dru back by kidnapping and torturing her?! Of course this is very in character for him because in s5-

6) He kidnaps both Dru and Buffy and holds them hostage, forcing Buffy to say that she loves him back or he’ll set Drusilla on her (and also saying he would kill Dru for Buffy and acting like this is some beautiful grand gesture 🤮)

7) THE BUFFY BOT?! HELLO?!

8) The balcony scene in s6 🤢 what the fuck

9) Pretty much his entire existence in s6 isolating Buffy and then making himself out to be Buffys victim in s7 makes me want to set him on fire

10) Lies Me Parents Told Me. I hate that episode and what he did and said to Robin with the fire of a thousand suns. Now to be fair, nearly everyone was OOC in that episode but Spike was next level cruel. I’ll be honest, I can’t even see him doing or saying that in s5 or s6, I have no idea what the writers were thinking but it was vile.

There’s a couple of other things I’ve probably missed (like putting the burden of his redemption on Buffy and the guilt of his actions as a vampire on Angel), but I’ll leave it at that.

Also, I’m going to tag this but if it somehow is seen by people who love Spike; I know he doesn’t have a soul for most of these, it literally doesn’t change a thing. They’re shitty things and unforgivable.

[pitruli]

ended up trying tu summarise my frozen watcher au through stories on insta after i got asked in comments so i’m retyping everything here too. wanted to make a proper mega post one day but this’ll have to do

so Warmth of the Winter Sun (wows) or just Frozen Watcher, is a hermitcraft 8 au based on the boatem crew and hugely  inspired by both of the Frozen movies. Basically, I just wanted to play with the concept of watchers that is over used in the fandom, and made it a frozen au because of a skin made for halloween mcc last year (grian as elsa done by mahgck)

Grian is the “lucky” kid who got gifted a part of the watchers’ power and gained matter manipulation magic; he can manipulate any object and part of landscape and change its form at will. It goes as far as turning matter into another one and can have effect on the weather (mostly by summoning storm clouds) When the manipulation goes too far, the matter turns into something similar to minecraft sculk, some kind of nebula cloud, way easier to manipulate, but can also spread on its own and corrupt stuff.

Pearl is his little sister, and unfortunately, the accident is still a thing there haha. Living matter (other than plants) immediately corrupts under Grian’s magic, and Pearl got something she though was a burn scar on the side of her face.

I’m adding a twist tho, as the siblings acually got cursed through the accident; if they’re too close, Pearl’s injury would spread and threaten to suffocate her. If they’re too far, it’s Grian’s heart that can’t handle it. (Yeay i like angsty stuff like that). So they spent the rest of their childhood trying to keep a middle ground, apart from one another (Pearl not knowing why as you could guess).

For the following I need to settle more background lore I made for this. The siblings are the heirs of the Mountain kingdom, a part of a huge island they inhabit with several other kingdoms. These different factions were all at war for years, until “something” caused a massive explosion during an atempt between monarchs to set peace. They all died. Leaving the island in a cold war the time their orphaned heirs reach adulthood.

(The “something” and the war will be relevant for what would be “frozen2″ haha. The universe is also set in something like northern UK in the 50′s)

SO back to main plot, Grian doesn’t lose control as he becomes king. He had the role for a couple years actually. But he had organised a ball to set real peace across the island once and for all, despite his fear of his power being reveal. He failed, as you can guess, but he tried his best ! And you can imagine how the other monarchs reacted, thinking they had been tricked into a trap when Grian’s black magic reveal itself. So yeay, some background part of the au is the monarchs trying to dismantle the Mountain kingdom as Grian exiled itself somewhat.

The following goes mostly like in Frozen; Pearl sneaks off to find back her brother; finds out a plush she made as kid and gave to Grian, Mumbo, is now alive (and having massive existential crisis); and travels with a friend she met years prior while sneaking off the castle, Impulse, and Scar, a cat shapeshifter.

Grian morphed an entire mountain into his s7 mansion (no need to make the back /hj), and once the curse got him back with violent hearthache, he’s ready to give up just so the curse can finally break (the song monster from the musical be like)

A huge thing I changed is the whole thing about true love, as I didn’t want to have shipping in this au. Mostly, it’s just pearl, once she learns the curse “needs true love to fade away”, thinking she’s doomed for good as she doesn’t have anyone, and thinks her death would somehow be another way to break the curse. (Yeay both sibling are being suicidal at one point, ready to die so the other gets free of the curse)

I’m still indecive about how to make the end of this, as i want the aftermaths of the plot to be more obvious than canon Frozen. Don’t worry no one dies tho !! I still need them for part 2 okjihibuv

Part 2 of the au is for now very vague; all I know for sure is that it has a rather sad ending (I’m going full on “fix it” on that one, loved Frozen2 but the plot from deleted scene could have been epic haha). I will have stuff with the island war and shapeshifter lore, and I already made edits to the wonky spirits for the au. But other than that, that’s basically all!

Well, I went rambling quite a lot for just some summary... Hope i’ll have more drawing f this to post this year tho !

[darishima]

yap about yr favorite season also!!!!!! (:

YAAAY WOOOO !!!! i <3 u anon okay so. so so.

once again. just like the last one. my answer is unfortunately generic. season 12 is my favorite and not only is it my favorite i fully stand by the belief that its objectively the best season including international seasons. all stars 2 WOULD be my favorite and it would be my objective best pick if not for the riggery and bullshittery (COUGH COUGH ROXXXY ANDREWS) but even with that, i would consider it a close number two

season 12 is the least overly edited+produced season since like s3 because of the sherry pie bullshit (google that if you dont know. idk if you actually know anything about drag race or if youre just humoring me) seemingly forcing the producers to scrap all the manufactured storylines they'd built up. the only thing wrong with the entire season is the zoom finale and ofc the sherry pie situation but even that was handled surprisingly well by WOW (in comparison to how they handled other similar situations... cough cough shangela and plane jane). every single queen on it is incredibly talented, even the early outs (i mean when the FIRST OUT is a [former] haus of aja member that says a lot about the talent of the people who made it further) and it has some of the most underrated queens ever imo-- nicky doll and rock m sakura, specifically. it spawned SOOO many iconic moments-- jan's face crack, "look over there," feel the beat in the rhythm of the night, "i hate hate haaate your hair and makeup today" etc you get my point i could go on. it has some of the best music ever (the madonna rusical! im that bitch! uhh whatever that finale number was called which i somehow cant recall the name of but still know all the lyrics to!), i mean nicki fucking minaj was the guest on the first episode like it honestly just doesnt get better than 12. you get my point by now. 12 solos every other season EASY

as2 is like i said my number two. going into detail about as2 is pointless. read u wrote u, the mirror scene, all the lipsyncs (ALYSSA V TATIANNA HELLOOO??) the same parts, "party," all of it is just so fucking good. the only thing that bumps this slightly down for me, personally, is how alaska consistently won over katya in the lipsycs (and the crown obviously) when i fully believe katya deserved most of those wins. fym alaska won cherry bomb JUST CAUSE OF HER FUCKASS WIG FLAG?? FUCK YOU RUPAUL WHAT ABOUT THAT!! again NOT saying this just because i love katya im being as objective as i can be i just think she frequently loses lipsyncs she doesnt deserve to lose (kennedy v katya s7.... who said that!) and because im such a katya fan its infuriating to witness. im not a roxxxy hater per se,, just a roxxxy criticizer. so overall if those couple small things had been different it'd take number 1

number 3 belongs to my sweetheart season 13. this one is objectively not nearly as good as the first two and also worse than ones like s6 or 5 because of all the stupid ass twists that the producers pulled out just to try and top 12 (impossible) but there are SO many queens that i love to death that i just cant put it any lower. gottmik, of course, and denali and rose and symone and utica... it is dragged down by evil bitches like elliott with three k's and tina+ tamisha who i personally cant stand but those 3 are soo outweighed by the talents of the others that idec. also once again the music slaps (LUCKY <3) and the memes are incredible . season 13 they could never make me hate you

after those three i think the rest of my favs would go 4. season 6 5. UK season 2 6. season 5 7. all stars 3 8. season 7 9. all stars 6 10. season 9

oh and my least favorite season is 11 by far if that matters which is funny because 11's winner is in my like top 15 favorite queens also i have not yet watched s14 and s15 fully but im sure those will both enter my top ten easily when i do

[sallysellsseashellssundays]

Disclaimer: This post is going to be Anti Moffat for anyone who’s reading and is a fan you’ve been warned.  

“The Doctor, The Widow and the Wardrobe” is the next Christmas special and it was alright--it had good moments and ideas but I didn’t fully love it.

The Good: Eleven is so good at interacting with children I can’t help but notice it every time. At long last I have seen a moment where it genuinely looks like he cares about Amy and Rory and wow that was beautiful especially showing him shedding a tear at the end, please please let their S7 interactions be like this. The ending with them was emotional in all the right ways and the beginning was an interesting setup but the middle lost me--I felt bored a few times in that it felt like it was padded out for the lack of plot. I really liked Madge I think she immediately became one of my favorite minor characters I’ve seen and the actress was phenomenal especially in her delivery of certain lines. Her interaction with the military employees was hilarious “we can’t interrogate you while you’re crying” lol.

The Bad: I’m all for “the power of love” fixing things sometimes, but Madge from the year 1941 driving that robot thing was a bit ridiculous. The other woman even told her it took years of training, but apparently b/c she’d been in her husband’s plane once she could do it...eh not sold. And then her taking up all the life force of the trees in her head and piloting that thing through the time vortex was too much. And I suppose for a family show like DW they had to go the route of the husband somehow living, but I feel like it was a massive cop out. Oh well I guess it’s a Christmas episode we can have an “everybody lives” moment for Christmas.

The Worst: Her husband following her home repeatedly is how they met  😬 😬 😬 idk if people have genuinely had that happen to them but it’s the second time Moffat has used it (Sally’s friend in Blink had that guy following her) and I think it’s really creepy. Timey wimey worked, but Moffat trying to do that with so many different phrases has annoyed me since Eleven’s run started, “humany wumany” come on just leave it at timey wimey and move on.

The Unresolved: We were told last series finale we still have the Trenzalore stuff happening so got to figure out what that is.

Overall I feel like it was ok, I’ve liked other Christmas specials more. The acting definitely kept me hooked for the most part, but the story itself was pretty meh. 

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 7x20 Is This Henry Mills?

Wow! So close to the end of my ouat rewatch. It’s been very nearly 3 years that I’ve been watching and writing my thoughts. I will be doing the same for ouatiw afterwards but woah, it’ll be an end of an era.

Oh my God. Belle in the recap! It’s so sad and hard to believe she’s dead. Next time I rewatch I’m gonna be so sad remembering she dies in the end.

Regina was once the eighth witch? I guess they never established who it was in that episode. I assumed it was Drizella. But I’m sure Regina never joined them, so how can she have once been the eighth witch? Unless she did…

Oh, so true loves kiss didn’t work because Henry didn’t believe hard enough? But he did! He was up to his eyeballs in belief last episode!

Jared!Henry! Missed him!  

Senior year, senior year, we’re not just kids anymore!

If you get that reference, you get so many cookies.

He’s still wearing the same coat and scarf, bless him. That coat’s gotta be enchanted to grow with him. I kinda wish older Henry wore the same coat and scarf. Or did he? I have a memory of him wearing it somehow.

There’s a whole-ass college in Storybrooke?! I wonder if they learn magic in Storybrooke High and the college. I like to think they do. And Archery! And sword-fighting! Ooh and about magical creatures!

Oh no, Tilly!  

I wonder if the witches of the coven knew they would turn into saplings or perhaps they were put under a trance before they could realise. But if they did know, imagine wanting to be a tree lol.

Oh damn! Gothel must have re-enacted the curse of the poisoned heart. 

Rogers would do anything for his daughter! 

I do think young Henry and older Henry look a lot alike.

Henry did a complete 180 in between episodes. He was all in in the last one. Now he just thinks they’re fairy tales. I know his and Jacinda’s kiss didn’t work but what about all the other evidence?

Oh, Rogers and Tilly were there overnight. It was light when they entered. 

Gosh, the curse of the poisoned heart sound so painful.

The fear in Margot’s eyes when she hears Tilly’s in danger.

Oh, so they do have to touch the storybook in order to start believing? I guess that makes sense because I think that was the case for Henry in 3x19 A Curious Thing as well as for Emma in 1x22 A Land Without Magic. But then and again, I don’t remember Emma holding the book to remember in 6x22 The Final Battle Part II.

Lucy: “You're not gonna dig up Henry’s fake family?!” Regina: “No! That’s ludicrous! I’m gonna dig up your dead grandma instead.”

Was there another snow monster incident. Elsa at it again.

Wow, Henry’s such a smart kid.

Oh yeah. I remember those bts pics of Henry at the University talking to some kid. I wonder how that scene would have gone.

Book 2? God, I’m so confused. Okay so this isn’t the original Storybrooke. I guess that makes sense because Rapunzel and her family’s story wouldn’t be in the original. It’s like one of those books Henry and Violet found in the s5 finale. I’m learning so much about s7 on this rewatch even though I’ve watched it so many times before. It could be difficult for a casual viewer to understand.

Henry: “Where is Snow? Where is Charming? Where’s Emma? Doesn’t everybody always find each other???” Regina: “You can’t find someone if you don’t know they’re missing.” Henry: “What the hell does that even mean?” Regina: “Gothel’s curse didn’t just bring us to a land without magic. It brought us back in time.” Omg, you have to laugh at this season’s timeline. Time travel is easy now? You can sprinkle it into dark curses like it’s a dash of chilli powder?? I know they did it so they could show the main cast at the appropriate ages at the end and to explain why they didn’t help their cursed family members but boy is it a convoluted explanation. No way a casual viewer understands this. I tried explaining to my mum and she just looked at me funny lol. Kinda like Henry is looking at Regina.

It was so cruel to make Henry think his family died in a fire. I’m guessing that was Drizella’s idea. Poor guy. That’s horrific.

Margot’s so scared for Tilly.

I love this scene. Margot trying to get through to Tilly and supporting her even though she’s scared as hell.  

Margot, gently: “But I know you’re just having one of your bad days. But if you come with me, maybe we can turn it into a good one. Hmm, what do you say?” God bless.

I read a really great fic about Margot getting Tilly out of the cave and getting to safety while Tilly was still in a trance. She thought Tilly was just having one of her bad days and tried to make it a good one. It was excellent. I can’t remember who wrote it but I’ll have a look. I’ll reblog if I find it.

That was quite the tumble. I hope she’s okay.  

Margot must be so confused. She got thrown across the cave by a blast of magic and turned tiny.  

Oh snap!

Noo! Don’t let Seraphina turn into a tree!

Also do not let that happen to Tilly either, oh my God.

Was that fire Tilly produced? Is she a pyrokinetic?  

Oh no! Seraphina! I hope she at least got to be, like, a cherry tree and not a nasty fig tree or something awful like that.

Also, Tilly stop!!

But why has he tied up Naveen? There is literally no explanation other than the two of them having a kinky affair.  

If poking a doll of Hansel in the chest stabbed him from the inside, then Facilier has just seriously jacked up Sabine’s leg.

Facilier: “Now that you’ve found him, why don’t you sit down and join him?” Sabine: “And why the hell would we do that?” Facilier: “Oh, I thought you all came for some fun :(.” Jacinda: “Is Henry Mills invited?” Facilier: “No, because Queen Regina is on her way ;).”  

Oh, it looks like going by that adoption paper Regina doesn’t have a middle name. Unless it was a name too magical sounding to be on the certificate. Like Unicorn. Yes, Regina Unicorn Mills. And that is why she loves (and murders) horses. The ultimate horse girl.

It says Henry’s first name was confidential. I wonder if he was given a name before Regina adopted him.

I don’t know why it popped into my head, but I had a sudden strong feeling Emma named him Rudolf.

If I call that number, will I be able to talk to my past self. Or Regina or Henry? I was gonna say that the phone call didn’t make sense, but I guess it does given that Henry is that age at the point they travelled back in time to.  

I feel like they should have waited for younger Henry to say that he was Henry Mills before he started believing. I guess it was the sound of his own adolescent voice that did it. And I guess they wanted him to believe without concrete proof.

Oh! It was the fact that he remembered receiving a phone call from a stranger that he now realises to be him that did it! That’s actually pretty clever.

He knew what to say because he’d already said it!

Henry: “I remembered that call. I always remembered it. It was so f*cking weird, man.”

Regina’s not messing about!

So, was Gothel’s plan just to rid the world of humanity so she could live all by herself in the big wide world, possibly with the addition of Alice, depending on whether she intended to turn her into a tree or not. She said there’d be no possibility of humanity coming back. Wouldn’t she get bored? Would she be ridding the world of other animals or just humans? What did the elephants ever do to her?!  

Lmao Regina rolling around on the floor!  

Regina’s ready to wrestle Gothel right now. Lbr without magic Regina would beat the crap out of her.

It’s funny because back in s1 Emma probably would have won in a fist fight. She’s totally been taking lessons from Emma.

Regina: “Letting go has never been my thing.” That’s it! That’s the show!

Regina fly!!

Uh oh. Regina, you okay hun?

Henry loves his mummy. Bless him.

I never understand how true loves kiss seems to work for physical injuries now. It doesn’t make sense because then why didn’t it work for Snowing in the pilot when Charming had been impaled? Maybe it only works for head injuries for some reason.

They’re awake! The curse is broken! I somehow forgot that the curse wasn’t fully broken until Henry kissed Regina.

Eek! Curious Archer reunited!!  

Robin taking off her glasses so Alice can recognise her lol. I mean, the disguise worked with Lois Lane.  

Margot, put those glasses back on, girl. You don’t wanna trip over.

My heart! I love them!!

Alice’s little squeak and their nose nuzzle. Adorable!  

That effect with the trees erupting from the ground looks so cool. Gothel is having an amazing time today.

Looks like she’s more powerful than Regina.

She’s so creepy, oh my God.

Tilly doesn’t wanna come to you, you absolute creep!

Killian, you're an amazing papa but you are going to keel over if you step any closer.  

She’s holding her Papa’s hand! But the poor guys in excruciating pain.

And Robin holds her hand and I just love this little family.

Gothel actually looks hurt by Alice’s speech. This woman is so complicated and difficult to read.

“You chose hate… But I choose love.” Gosh, it’s so true. Alice’s life had all the potential to be a villain backstory, but she didn’t let hate and anger consume her. Love fuelled her to choose good, such that her heart is literally pure. Such a powerful moment from her.

I’m just guessing here but I think Alice reflected the magic Gothel was gonna use to turn her into a tree back at Gothel.

And we see that Alice easily defeats Gothel. She was more powerful than Gothel all along. I just wish the fight was longer, but it goes to show how powerful Alice is

God, I wish we had more magic fights. I would love to rank how powerful each magic user is, and more fights between the various characters would have really helped me to do that.  

“I’m sorry your life twisted into something you never meant it to. I promise I will do better for everyone.” Bless Alice seems so forgiving even after all the horrors Gothel put her through. She’s trying to understand Gothel, believing her to have not initially been a bad person but someone whose life was twisted. She even conjures flowers onto the tree to symbolise a new beginning. And she looks so sad because as she said as Tilly, she always wanted a mother. I think she’s sad about what could have been if Gothel hadn’t let that hatred twist her into something evil. I wonder if Alice ever considers I untransfiguring Gothel. God knows she doesn’t deserve it, but I feel like after a few years Alice would give her a second chance. She’s just that kind of person. How that would turn out we’ll never know but it could make an interesting fic.  

Does this make Alice Mother Nature now? I’m inclined to say no because I’m pretty sure Gothel is still alive.

Lol Facilier just watching all the chaos from his window. Random people must have seen all that.

Poor Killian.

Robin holding Alice.  

Aww Auntie Regina hugging Robin.

Glass Believer together again!

And Lucy!

Henry: “I'm lucky. I have an incredible home. You won't find it on a map. But in it, you will find magic. You find love... hope... and something to believe in. You'll find a family that fights for one another, who never gives up on each other. And even when they're separated by curse or distance or time... they find each other. They always find each other. I wish the world could know the story of my family... how it was all true... how every moment of it happened. And you may think this is just a story. But that's the thing about stories. They're more than words. They live inside of us. They make us who we are. And as long as someone believes that... there will always be magic.” I’mma cry!

Aww Grandma Regina!

Alice and Robin hugging in the background! Get Alice some hot cocoa and a marmalade sandwich. She’s had quite a day.

Rumple’s scrap book of him and Belle is more important to him than his dagger. Growth!

Literally, how dare they kill Facilier. It was so unnecessary! He’s still alive in my heart and when the HH gang go back to their own damn time after the finale, he’s there, Alive and waiting for Regina.

I understand them having a version of Rumple as their final villain. But it loses impact because it’s not the Rumple we know. I wish they’d brought back another of the old villains, but I can’t think of many that are still living or who haven’t been redeemed. Screw it, tbh I’d take Wish Realm Cora or Pan as the finale’s main villain. We’ve seen so much of Rumple throughout the years which I love but another old villain would have really kicked up the nostalgia.

[svgurl410]

All together- do you prefer : Smallville season 7 or Smallville season 4?

Thanks for the ask! Definitely Smallville season 4. Before s9/10 I would've ranked 4 as one of my favorites. I know there were some crazy plots- Lana being possessed, the witches, etc, but LOIS! Her intro was great, we saw Clark fly, s4 Clois was so much fun, and well, Jensen Ackles is pretty.

Meanwhile, s7 is probably my least favorite, outside of Oliver's brief return, the Apocalypse episode, and the Lois scenes (minus Grant because that ship also sucked and was a huge waste of Lois's already minimal screentime/episodes). Clark and Lana were insufferable for a large part of the season ('Wrath' was where I hit my 'wow I hate this a lot' point) and I ended up being really annoyed with Clark's whole arc - I wish they had used him being unhappy in his relationship to somehow tag along with Lois and Jimmy more and realize he liked journalism so Lois suggesting it to him in "Arctic" would've been the perfect tie in instead of just having it randomly there. Plus Kara was largely wasted. It was a season that had potential in retrospect and then fell flat because of Gough and Miller's poor priorities. I hated it so much that I did consider quitting watching the show. The promise of Clois and JH as a regular in s8 kept me hanging on back then.

[gregorygerwitz]

For the headcanons: Will ❤️

A - realistic

I have a few hills I’ll die on for Will headcanons but I think one of the major ones is my firm belief that he has ADHD. there’s not much evidence in canon that I can pull from off the top of my head, but at least once a season I just “wow Will has ADHD confirmed.

B - while it may not be realistic, it is hilarious

idk how “hilarious” this is but Will is gay. specifically, chaotic wlw/mlm besties Stevie and Will just. it’s completely unrealistic but the idea of Stevie trying to control this unsupervised gay man who somehow keeps getting into relationships with women is a very funny mental image. whatever the adult equivalent of dragging him away by his ear is. that’s what’s in my head.

C - heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

*gestures to the canon evidence that Will has/had an eating disorder* that one

D - unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own

literally everything related to my headcanon that he and Matt Cooper hooked up in college canon refuses to give us a solid backstory for anyone so I make my own just all of it. keeping their relationship a secret. the low-key flirting that goes on through early s7. the antagonistic exes energy. is it realistic? absolutely not. am I absolutely certain it happened anyway? yes.

[ send me a character for four headcanons ]

[rdemwhathaveyoudone]

BRING THE ANGST WE DESERVE, I’m ready. I except to cry once a week at least

Not gonna lie, I missed old Lola aka sad Lola aka I'm miserable Lola, just fort the art of acting and portraying that actual emotion, cause , somehow Flavie D. just kills it , her acting is on point whenever she she is in that mood... Ayumi Roux is good, great even but in the last clip , wow all I have to say is Lola choatic suit you well...

I mean we went from Lola suicidal to Lola happy again in just Five fricking days or less wtf, okay she went to H.P she got treatment but I think just for the love cohision/ reelness (I m sorry I dont know how i could say it in english but you get the idea i suppose) I needed to actually see Lola being sad and not well at some point this clip delivered and now she can take care of her strugles whatever they are by herself and not because she is in love, and Maya is "here" and in a relationship! it's okay if throughout we dont actually see lola I mean it's not her season anymore so even though we see it in the background , just knowing she going trhough some rough time and how she's copping trough photography for exemple ( I m dying for her to actually fucking USE THAT CAMERA COME ONE !!!!!) it feels more natural and normal, eveything isnt just fine cause you've find love and it 's going to be intersting having Maya's point of view witouth it being about her in a relationship or partenerd but actually seing her alone just her at first and then maybe have a sight of her building clips by clips what makes her , Maya Etienne orphéline and who or what helps her bring that whatever she' hiding within her to live and embrace it.

For someone who was out and proud early and not afraid to get kicked out, she seems still in the closet somehow but not That one closet we normally talk about.

For real as long as Skam France doenst pull up a SKINS FIRE S7 aka Rip Ms Campbell I'm good, real cause I'm fed up with tragic love story , Romeo+Juliet did that already and then we got our Boy Jack died in the fricking ocean cause Mrs "Dawson" couldn't move a lil bit on the right and make some space ... Yes I'm still not over it do 't mind me. I'm alergic to tragedy.

I except to cry twice a week , 😅 not gonna lie once again. Pleurer ça fait du bien askip.

[angelfishofthelord]

Apologies for this long and extremely incoherent ask but the human Cas arc was so painful and I'll forever hate how the writers never realized how traumatizing this moment in Cas' life was. Like for one, going into season 9, Cas was already not in a good place (he was suicidal, he was mind controlled and tortured by Heaven, found out he and his siblings have been controlled for their whole existence and he unwittingly played a part in the angels falling whilst also receiving zero support from his friends). In the season, he was being hunted by other angels, that whole mess with the reaper happened (at best that whole thing was dubcon and it gets worse when you think about how this was the first person Cas opened up to only to be taken advantage of). And then when he's brought to the bunker, he thinks he's finally safe only to be kicked out without explanation and left homeless with his life still in danger as he was still being hunted and once again receiving no support from his friends. He was so depressed during that time that a Rit Zien was going to mercy kill him (and then the writers just never mentioned that again and still left him homeless at the end of that episode. Like it's no wonder Cas thinks he's only kept around because he's useful because he was only brought back to the bunker once he stole another angel's grace and Dean needed his help with the Gadreel situation (and I know that Dean didn't want to kick Cas out, he did apologize and feel remorse for what he did to Cas, the situation with Gadreel was urgent and he was grieving Kevin's death but really Dean?! You do nothing to support Cas this season but now you're calling him because you need his help and support). And I know it's in character for Cas to forgive Dean easily but I really wish he was allowed to be angry for a while since Dean did absolutely nothing to support Cas and though unintentional, he did put Cas' life in danger. Now onto Cas recounting that time to Jack: it was so sad because we the audience know what really happened and it's so obvious that Cas couldn't tell Jack the truth about what happened because one, it wouldn't have made Jack feel better and two, Jack would probably look at the bros differently (which is something that Cas wouldn't want to see happen)

Anon you are so right I'm sure Cas didn't want Jack to know how brutal his human experience really was. But honestly like. Sam and Dean were absolutely not there for him, no matter what way you spin it. And yes like you said going into s9 Cas was already coming off the heels of a hurricane of trauma and then s9 really threw him back into the eye of the storm. When the Rit Zien said "I just followed the sound of your pain. You have no idea how loud it is. I can hear you for miles" that just broke me. And whatever Dean was going through with Gadreel and Kevin doesn't negate the fact that he wasn't there for Cas when he needed him and then never did anything to try and make up for that (no a single line of apology is not good enough).

And the thing is Cas was struggling all through s9 but he also got back on his own two feet and survived. He got a job to support himself (and the way Dean treated him initially about the gas n sip work lowkey infuriates me) but also he brought the other angels together and was actively working to find Metatron but also he sent them out to hospitals to help heal people. Like Cas deserved a huge round of applause for what he accomplished in having his little angel army, somehow making the angels trust him again despite s7, and being united towards a common goal-- and all he got from Sam and Dean were complaints about it seeming like a cult. Which to me just shows a lack of understanding from the Winchesters about what angel culture is like and how they are trained to give their entire devotion to their leaders. It might seem unusual but like that's literally all they had to comment about what Cas did. There was no wow Cas you did a good job here or I'm impressed at how you brought all of them together or what you're doing here is really something. Like why do Cas' achievements never get celebrated?

Also Cas did not fail at being a leader in s9 and that is the hill I will die on.

[pendragaryen]

Before I start I just wanted to say: THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for all you brilliant, open minded, always positive and hopeful people and writers in this fandom, in this fam, that i am so proud to call me a part of for many years now. Thanks so much for all you analysers, all you meta-writers and speculators! I love you so much, because i’m shown time and time again, that i’ve chosen THE RIGHT peeps to follow. My dash is 80% hopeful Blarkes! And i LOVE it! Thanks for always being so inspiring and motivational, despite everything that happens on screen (or behind it). THANK YOU, FAM! That’s just my introduction today, before i dive into my mood…..

I probably shouldn’t write anything today for my mind is kind of dizzy bc of the painkillers I’ve taken earlier but well… I’m in a mood to get at least a few things off my chest now.

So. “The queens gambit”. You guys already summed it up, meta-ed about it and speculated the heck out of it so that my own 5 cents seem completely unnecessary at this point. I love some of your opinions, some I don’t. But here’s just what I feel about it (if anybody cares): In contrary to my whole excitement before the episode “Welcome to Bardo” and the tiny possibility that our Bellamy would finally and hopefully be back on our screens, THIS time, while I WAS CERTAIN to see him again, my whole reaction to finally HAVE him back was like… “yeah.. hey.. there you are. Nice.”  And that’s it. I truly wish my excitement would come back. But well… I am exhausted. My job is a pain in the ass too right now. I don’t want to feel bored or even annoyed by my fave tv show ever, this should BE FUN. But yeah a certain scene DID annoy me. Of course. I was in fact very thankful for all the distracting things that happened on Sanctum this time.

For those who know me a bit this isn’t news. I feel sick to my stomach when I have to watch scenes like that B/cho farce today. I did it for Bellamy/Bob AND I did it for Lindsey (congrats on your directing-debut, my queen!). But all your beautifully written and stubbornly hopeful metas couldn’t change the fact that THAT moment was simply painful to watch. It wasn’t even as lovey-dovey as I thought it would be. And I am truly relieved bc of the fact that it seems that Bellamy (at least at this “first time”) had some serious physical needs to get satisfied by that sweaty, sporty woman right in front of him (like it was with “Threesome-Bellamy” in season 1) and that THIS was the primary reason that my boy practically jumped E at that moment… (I mean… she IS attractive… i have to give this to her). With THAT in mind I can live. Everyone his needs. That’s okay. Sex is healthy. Needs are healthy. I am content that they haven’t shown us LOVE here. That wasn’t love. For sure. And their conversation is already wonderfully explained by several posts of you guys, so I won’t say anything else about that godforsaken scene than that it was a pain in the ass to watch for me. Despite all the things I said above and despite the fact, that IT’S JUST THE PAST. It still stings. BUT… It’s not current. And I understand the statement that underlines especially THAT fact: This is long gone and done. It is not current anymore. And now… not even thinkable any longer. I think E knows that too, despite her being clingy to her memories.

Whatever… I’m pms-ing… heavily. Don’t mind my ramblings. What I REALLY wanted to say tho is: I hope that - in comparison to that B/cho scene on the ring - we get to see one other significant scene (or more than just one, I wouldn’t mind it) at some point in S7 : Bellamy grieving the loss of Clarke Griffin - and I mean ON THE RING. That particular grief, that was addressed especially by Murphy last season “If he knows Clarke is dead all of this is for nothing” etc….. PLEASE! That would make the PERFECT opposite to that cringy, awkward B/cho scene today!!! What do you guys and analysts think? Is it possible that we get that somehow? Maybe we somehow get to see how the Bardonians extract memories from Bellamy’s mind at some point? I don’t know. That’s just what I wanted to shout into the void today. I’d appreciate it so much…

Anyway.. I missed Indra in the santum scenes? Where was she? But I really agree with most of you guys today too: Some of the best parts of this episode had to do with finally addressing some bad things people did in the past, bad decisions and actions I thought I have already heard the last  about. I am talking about the Blake’s of course. O’s treating of her brother after Lincoln’s death and Bellamy “forcing” the flame on Madi in S5. Well done. All of this a little late for my taste. But better now than never. Oh and I almost forgot: Murphy was brilliant. Again. His interactions with Sheidrussell… wow… deep. And Emori! What a QUEEN! I’m glad we have these two in Sanctum - tho I’m fearing a bit for their safety now, I have to admit.

Did I mention that i LOVE the Diyozas? No? Yes i love them. Very much. That scene between mother and daughter was TEARjerking. And NOW i’m really afraid of what will happen to especially Charmaine… I cannot put a finger on it WHY. But i TRULY fear for her now… She’s a unique character. I don’t want to lose her tbh… (In contrary there’s Nikki. Or Nelson, for example. To THEM i cannot find any connection at the moment… They are just… there.. making trouble… I wouldn’t shed a tear if they die at some point.)

And then… Clarke tho… CLARKE… These few seconds they’ve been showing her reaction to the news that HER Bellamy’s dead… All these emotions mirrored in her sad, shook eyes in that precise moment… This really made it up for me and saved almost the whole episode imo. Wow… (Eliza… Eliza, you brilliant little thing. I love you. I’ve been reading, that you weren’t allowed to show more than a minimum of a reaction at this point. But you transferred it, ALL the feelings - just through your eyes!) You can almost pinpoint the very moment her heart broke. I can’t wait to see the continuation of that scene. (Btw: Great job, Lindsey! Zooming in on Clarke’s face in just the RIGHT moment… I’m in tears…)

All in all (and despite of a certain scene) a solid episode. (But WHAT THE ACTUAL F.. DO YOU MEAN WITH “YOU’RE MY FAMILY TOO” OCTAVIA?! You CAN’T be serious! E?! YOUR FAMILY?! No..  HELL nO…  That shows without ANY doubt how much she's changed and that she now must be some sort of an all forgiving Buddha, whereas I clearly haven’t grown or changed one bit, bc THAT… hurt like hell to hear from especially her. WTH.. It REALLY bugs me..)

ugh… that was long… i am sorRY

[tanoraqui]

ok my last review of my own SPN fic from the early 2010s gets its own post bc the other two were getting long and honestly this was more Good Omens fic than anything. Literally I lost steam on it when faced with the prospect of writing Supernatural characters other than Crowley (the fic, of course, being centered around the idea that What if That Was Proper, GO Crowley, and if so, How).

Once More Unto the Breach proposes that, shortly after the events of Good Omens, Aziraphale was yanked back to Heaven and tortured for a while until he, ah, saw the light again (with input of later seasons, I suppose I’d include Naomi in this somewhere), and Crowley was yanked back to Hell where he was tortured...and just kinda. Tortured. A lot. And had his grace stripped out, this one of the last of the angels who’d followed Lucifer in his fall (and idea SPN never got into but hella could’ve tbh; it fucks). And then, now that he was basically a normal mortal, for some reason they dropped him back in the timestream in like 1500s? Scotland with no memory, planning to let him lead a normal human life and then SURPRISE you’re back in Hell! Bitch! Suffer! 

Except instead of leading a normal human life, he (per canon spn) sold his soul to a crossroads demon for a bigger dick, and then, uhhhh, paperwork got lost and he just kinda ended up in the shuffle as a normal demon working his way up through the ranks, eventually becoming the SPN!Crowley we know? Aziraphale, meanwhile, has been sent out again to participate in the newly destined Apocalypse, Michael vs. Lucifer - ineffable!

And then, ofc, they meet a time or two...mostly very awkward and Aziraphale is like, “he’s superficially familiar but no, it’s obviously not My Crowley - who was evil and lied to me, ofc”, and Crowley is like, “what a weirdo.”

The Apocalypse fails to happen again. Aziraphale attempts to quietly duck out of Heavenly duties and resume his bookstore in London. Ch.2 of this fic - which I wrote! - is a pretty solid fic all on its own, of alternatingly Castiel’s and Raphael’s side showing up and trying to persuade him to join their team, and Aziraphale trying very hard to politely send them away before eventually snapping and joining Castiel. In the middle of a fight in a random heaven that happens to be an early 19th century British Navy ship in the height of a storm, because fanfiction is for SELF-INDULGENCE and nothing else.

Actually, u know what, just

“Is that so,” Ezekiel asked softly, playing with his blades. He had three now, his own and Castiel’s. “And how, exactly, are you going to stop me?

Aziraphale made up his mind. “He’s not,” said the bookseller, stepping between them and spreading his wings like a shield in front of the wounded rebel. “I will.”

“What are you doing?” hissed Castiel. “You do not need to die!”

Ezekiel laughed. “You?” He stepped back mockingly, and spread his arms in challenge. “Little brother, you are even lower class than the pathetic excuse for an angel cowering behind you. Who are you to challenge I, Ezekiel, Weapons Master of the Heavenly Host?”

Aziraphale stood up straight, spreading his wings wider. Lightning flashed for the first time in the tempestuous sky above, illuminating their feathery expanse.

“I am Aziraphale,” he stated, “Guardian of the Eastern Gate of Eden.” The scabbard appeared at his side like it always did, like it hadn’t done for over 6000 years. He reached down and drew the sword, hilt conforming perfectly to his grip. The blade caught fire instantly, and any raindrop that came near evaporated to steam before it touched the flame. “And I wield the Sword of War.”

Ezekiel’s step backwards was genuine this time, as was the fear in his voice.

“The Sword is a Weapon of Heaven, and belongs to Raphael!” he managed.

“I’m afraid it doesn’t,” Aziraphale said gently. It was an elegant sword, long and thin and rapier-like, and very clearly meant to kill. “This is the blade given to my hand by Michael, Commander of the Heavenly Host, when we all trained together as brothers. Before all the senseless bureaucracy took hold. From me, it passed to the human Eve, and there it became a Symbol to the humans, of War. It’s their Weapon, really, so I will use it on their behalf. If Raphael considers that ‘rebellion’, then so be it.”

ANYWAY. So, Aziraphale joins Cas’s rebellion and mostly starts sorting records in the very neglected Library of Heaven that contains a book recounting the life of every single person ever, bc that’s my idea of heaven and I’m right. But also he needs to rescue the nice young rebel angel whose capture kinda prompted him into this decision in the first place, and that means breaking into the really serious heavenly prison area...so he goes to the new King of Hell and bargains to borrow one of the lost Treasures of Heaven (remember those, from s6?) that Crowley has ended up with. They agree: Aziraphale can have the Crown of Pollution thing for 24 Earth hours, and in return, at a time of his choosing, Crowley will get a treasure of Heaven to which Aziraphale has access for 24 hours.

Upon getting the Crown back, Crowley informs him that the treasure he’d like is...Aziraphale, actually. The Sword of War, if he wants to be fussy, and Aziraphale is welcome to come along with it! After all, surely a warrior of Heaven is as valuable as an artifact. “You want me to...smite your political enemies?” Aziraphale says slowly. “Sure,” says Crowley. “Also, come to tea for 10 minutes once a week or so and tell me hte latest news from your little war. I never said the 24 hours had to be consecutive.”

Obviously Aziraphale is Pissed AF, but he’s also stuck, and afraid to tell anyone that he’s been Dealing with a demon. So he goes once a week to tea, and gives absolutely monosyllabic answers full of ice...

Crowley fills some of the silence by starting t just bitch about work...and offers booze every time...once, after a hard battle, Aziraphale accepts...he offers bitchy comments about the demons Crowley complains about...don’t do this, Aziraphale tells himself firmly; it’s not YOUR demon, and anyway that was still probably a lie, and even if it wasn’t (it definitely wasn’t) you can’t find him; he’s probably dead...and this one’s MUCH trickier... There’s an assassination attempt on Crowley in which Aziraphale throws his sword across the room to him and it catches fire just as it does for Aziraphale, just as it doesn’t do for anyone else...

And that’s kinda where I stopped writing, bc I kept just...not wanting to write scenes with actual SPN characters, even though I really did need to involve Castiel, if I wanted him and Aziraphale to have a, “wait, you’re working with Crowley?” “Wait, YOU’RE working with Crowley?!”

I don’t really know how the rest of all that was supposed to go, with Purgatory and the Leviathans and everything. Cas WAS definitely having Aziraphale do research, while he alphabetized the Library, into Purgatory, and that’s a whole additional level of “wow I thought you were legit but Apparently I’m Disappointed Again.” Aziraphale is angry at both Crowley and Cas, but *checks outline* when Cas absorbs all the souls and goes nuts, Crowley runs, worried, to tell Aziraphale. Aziraphale tries to confront/calm Cas, and gets the dubious honor of being the first person “spared” by the new god.

Somewhere in here, logically, Aziraphale must tell SPN!Crowley about GO!Crowley, and Crowley’s like, “weird. I mean, I guess I’ve had dreams now and then of flying or being a snake or burning-but-in-a-good-way, but doesn’t everyone?” (I didn’t write this down anywhere but, like...it must happen.)

Somehow (Library of Heaven? Someone finally found the lost paperwork in Hell?) Aziraphale and Crowley find out that GO!Crowley’s (OG Crowley’s!) lost Grace is in, where else, Hyde Park, turned into, what else, an apple tree. If he is proper Crowley, it should woosh back into him when he touches the tree...

Aziraphale watched it breathless anticipation (not that he usually breathed anyway) as Crowley rested his hand on the bark of the tree. 

Nothing happened. 

“Well, that was a bit of a disappointment,” said Crowley. He reached up and carelessly grabbed an apple, brought it down and bit into it.

Everything exploded in the bright light of Grace.

In the planning document, I’ve written that Crowley goes back to Hell to try to wrangle it and Aziraphale ditto Heaven, which I guess...is reasonable. Good Omens ends with them both happily fucking off to stay on Earth and that’s the happy ending, but here, early SPN s7 with Cas having just fucked off into a lake and exploded with Leviathans, both Heaven and Hell could really use a sensible guiding hand, and unlike every other time (ie, all the time) that’s true, there’s a genuine opportunity for someone to step in and have influence. So...

Verdict: 11/10 this fic still SLAPS; thank you for coming on this exciting journey of nostalgia with me.

[bellamysgriffin]

somehow this is turning out to be one of my least favorite tv watching experiences. it has nothing on s7 of the 100 but wow it’s not fun