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cafeinthemoon · 1 year ago

Text

King - Chapter VI

Chapter 6

Wordcount 5,6k

Title A Kingdom of Women

Fandom Shuumatsu no Valkyrie / Record of Ragnarok

Previous chapters

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5

Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 🖤

Warnings: Mentions of unwanted pregnancies; multiple pregnancies; basically, Poseidon is not a good man

Tagging @cloveradora @the-dumber-scaramouche @mikkies @sl33py-zer0 @nooneknows8976 (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)

N. A.: Wow, finally a new chapter for this story! Even I find it hard to believe lol As pointed out by a reader in the comments, this story demands a lot of effort, and one of the reasons is obviously the chapters' lenght. This time, it's longer than all the others, as a compensation for the lack of updates. Tbh many things happened in the last weeks that kept me away from my works, but I don't want to discuss them here. It's not worthy.

Here are some hints about this chapter:

I tried to make Poseidon's character closer to his mythological version, which includes his relations with women. Though he doesn't make a proper appearance in this one, his presence is felt in each event, each sentence. He's the main subject of the conversations, whether in a positive or negative way. I love when this kind of stuff is included in stories to emphasize the importance of a character, and I hope I managed to do it right :)

Here we will have the first solid (or not) info about Amphitrite. I like Amphitrite's figure, and I will turn her into an important part of the structure here.

Of course, the selkie's skin is in her husband's possession. The thing with selkies' skin doesn't sit right to me, and I used this concept to create another source of tension for this story.

Finally, I'm sorry for the big delay and I hope you enjoy this new chapter :)

Yes, you have to stay vigilant, but no one can do this forever. Even the strongest can get exhausted. So, you need to relax. The thing is that you must learn when and where – and with who – you will allow yourself to rest. This can be scary in the beginning, and you will feel the most terrifying loneliness, but experience will come, and you will find balance.

Remember: your home is where your friends are.

When you were sent back to the lodge, the only things you wanted were a bit of silence and a moment by yourself, so you could process the events of the last day, your new position as a married woman and the task that was now in your hands: how would you manage to do something that only the most experienced masters were able to do, you who were never trained in any form of combat, not even in the use of knives? Yes, you did get your wish of not bearing a child answered, but were you really successful in your negotiations with your husband? You doubted that, and as to keep you in your place, he made sure you didn’t think you were.

Well, contrary to your wishes, once you stepped into the room and were left there by the servant (the same who took you to the ceremony’s preparations), you were barely allowed to readjust in it, because Alyssa was just too excited to see you again: ignoring your requests for her to be careful, she left her spot at the window and almost ran toward you when the door was opened, her hands around her belly as to protect the baby from her own recklessness.

– Y/n?! Y/n! Is that really you?!

You sighed in relief when she stopped in front of you with no troubles, but didn’t have time to think of this because the girl wrapped her arms around you and gave you the tightest hug that her condition allowed her.

– You’re finally back! – her voice was a rushed whisper – You should have been sent back yesterday, so when the night passed with no sign of you, I feared that something might have happened to you! But I’m glad you’re okay…

Though you were touched by those words, you preferred not try to wonder what Alyssa had in mind.

– Thank you – you moved away to look into her eyes – He decided to keep me with him for the entire night, so I had no choice. I’m sorry for causing you such anxiety.

You went to sit with her on your bed.

– So, yes, I’m back, but I don’t think okay is the best word to describe myself right now.

The girl frowned.

– No? How so?

You stood in silence for a moment, trying to find the appropriate way to turn your thoughts into words... And, when you did, was solely to provoke in your friend a laughing crisis.

– So… – you started – You told me that many things could happen once I found myself in Poseidon-sama’s presence… But why didn’t you tell me that this included being carried around like a bag of potatoes?

The sound of Alyssa’s laughter filled the enormous room before you could even finish the word potatoes. Her body trembled as she fought to control it, covering her mouth and closing her eyes tight, tears rolling through her hands. At first, you showed impatience – after all, being laughed at by a god by what he saw as fragility was a serious matter to you – but her reaction was so genuine that you just couldn’t stay mad.

– Alyssa, that’s not funny, okay? I didn’t enjoy being treated like that! It was humiliating and I just want to forget it!

– A bag of potatoes! Just imagine the Lord of the Seas carrying one! I can’t!

– Stop it! – you yelled, laughing too.

She took a deep breath and, then, was finally able to speak normally again.

– I’m so sorry, but I couldn’t help it! I was so worried about you and then, when you finally come back, this is the first thing you have to say? – she raised her hands in rendition – It’s just too hilarious!

You rolled your eyes.

– I wish I could see things that way.

Calming down, Alyssa gave you another reason for her attitude.

– Well, actually, it’s not just funny. I’m also surprised that he did this to you as well.

Now, you were the surprised one.

– What do you mean?

– When I was brought to the altar, I was wearing a transparent dress, so the first thing that Poseidon-sama noticed was the size of my legs – the girl explained – He didn’t say anything about them, but his disappointment filled the space between us. When he grabbed my hand and took me to the chambers where our wedding would be consummated, he made a comment about me being too slow and started carrying me on his shoulder – and, as if deliberating with herself, – But you’re a bit taller than me, you know? You must be able to walk faster… – she shrugged – Well, I guess this isn’t enough for him as well… – turning back to you, she suddenly changed the subject – But what about the wedding? The first time you saw him? What did you think? How did it feel like? Tell me everything!

Your cheeks got warm when you recalled the wedding night. You still had mixed feelings about it, so that you weren’t cheering for all that happened, at the same time that you weren’t really sad. But since you were still trying to digest such feelings, you sensed that this wasn’t the time to discuss them; Alyssa could be an understanding friend in case you did it, but you wouldn’t overwhelm her when she was so content for having you back.

– Well, I… Since our family was never devoted to any god, I had no idea of what to expect – you started – I just thought that Poseidon-sama would be similar to the statues we use to see in the temples’ entries and the public spaces. So I was really surprised when I finally saw him – you lowered your tone – He’s beautiful… And with a beauty that’s simply impossible for any human!

– I know – Alyssa commented – He firmly believes that gods are the ultimate bearers of perfection, so he does anything to embody this idea.

You chuckled.

– And I have to say it works in his case. Still, there are some unsettling things about him, such as, when you only take his appearance into account, you might think he’s around our age, but when you look into his eyes, this illusion disappears, and he looks older than everyone, anything you know… – a shiver appeared on your neck and went down your back while you remembered the god’s eyes – Older and terrifying.

Alyssa had an explanation for this.

– He’s one of the eldest deities from Greece, and was chosen to rule over the Domain of the Seas before the mythological ages. Water is a primordial element from all known worlds, including ours, you know? It’s only appropriate.

– Makes sense.

– Besides… you probably noticed that he’s not exactly a mild-tempered man – she lowered her voice, as if afraid of being heard by anyone beyond you.

You remembered the quake on the day you arrived and could only agree.

– This is why I was so worried for you, y/n – Alyssa continued – You’re just so lucky that he didn’t find any reasons to be displeased with you…

You bit your lip.

– Well… maybe he already did.

Your friend opened her mouth and closed it again, and you felt her fear and preoccupation in that small gesture. She asked what were you talking about.

– When Poseidon-sama took me to the chambers where we would have our wedding night, I made him a request – you swallowed – I asked him not to impregnate me.

Alyssa needed to make a superhuman effort to not scream when she heard that.

– You what?! But, how did you…?! – she shook her head – Do you have any idea of what it means to ask such thing from a god? Even more Poseidon-sama?

You let out an impatient sigh.

– I didn’t want to come here and I didn’t want to get married! You already know that – and, calming down a bit, – Not bearing a child was the last hint of freedom I could think of maintaining in this place, so I risked everything I still had (which wasn’t that much) in a deal with him. I’m a merchant, don’t you remember? – you shrugged – This preservation instinct... it runs in our blood.

The other girl frowned, still not believing that you indeed negotiated with Poseidon.

– Well, can you tell me the whole story, then?

– Of course.

And for the next minutes you recalled the events of that night, as well as the mission you received from your husband that morning, moments before he sent you back to the lodge, not hiding anything – except the nickname he gave you. Alyssa listened to each word carefully, not making a single interruption, but the sudden changes in her expression as the story followed revealed everything you needed to know about her feelings towards it.

In the end, by the fact that you returned to the room and the consistence of your narration, she was convinced that the god answered your plead; besides, she remembered seeing a small table close to the bed with a bottle upon it, both similar to the objects you described, and it was easy to imagine that there was a contraceptive fluid inside it.

However, she didn’t think her husband agreed with this deal as if moved by anything that resembled mercy, and she said that to you.

– By what I could see from him, I agree with you – was your reply – The nature of this mission is a proof itself.

Your friend let a hesitant “hm” escape.

– Yes, but that’s not exactly what I’m talking about…

– How so?

She gave you a worried gaze.

– I guess I didn’t tell you everything you need to know about being married with the god of the Seas – she moved upon the bed in discomfort – Look… Having children with desirable traits is not the only reason why Poseidon-sama has so many wives. The fact that most of us conceive in our first time with him makes us… unavailable for quite some time, to start with. There are other factors that might separate him from us, such as sickness and recovering periods between one pregnancy and the next, as well as when his presence is requested out of his domains, mostly in councils at Valhalla, which forces him to stay away for weeks, sometimes for months. For all of this, it’s convenient for him that some his wives are infertile or ask him to not have babies.

You frowned. So, there were women who were unable to bear children among you, and that wasn’t a problem for him? And you weren’t the first to make him that type of request? Well, now that you thought about it, it was only logical that you wouldn’t be: Poseidon has been taking wives for centuries, and you couldn’t suppose that all of them were willing to become mothers.

Besides...

– So, you’re telling me that if I’m not having a baby anytime soon, it means that he will…

It was unnecessary to finish the sentence. Alyssa gave you a silent nod. It was now more than clear that your request wasn’t the most clever decision from your part, something that you could have avoided if you were familiar with gods and their whims.

So, he’s this kind of man, then? Honestly, this side of him was clear for all the time we were together.

Still, you had some counterpoints.

– Alyssa, if I’m not the first to make this type of proposal to him, why did you react that way?

– First, because of your courage, perhaps increased by the fact that you know little about gods. Second, because I could never suppose that he would say yes to such proposal coming from a human – she put her hand under her chin, deliberating – He might have had something in mind… Something that we can’t figure out for now…

– Yes, I see, but there are other things that I can’t ignore. For example, what about Amphitrite-sama? She’s a goddess and his first wife. She is above us. I don’t see why he would chase after us when she’s there for him.

The look your friend gave you told you that you were, for one more time, wrong.

– Maybe it’s time for you to know about Amphitrite-sama, y/n.

Alyssa told you that what existed between Poseidon and Amphitrite was a marriage of convenience: she was the daughter of ancient sea deities, who inhabited those lands long before Poseidon’s arrival, and who offered her hand in exchange of their permanence in them; Poseidon accepted the offer as a way to reassure his dominance over the seas, and it has been like this since then. At first, they even tried to live as a normal couple, but it didn’t take long for both to realize it wouldn’t work, so that today they were just two people who shared the same house, and were more like professional partners then husband and wife.

– Amphitrite-sama’s personal life is a mystery to all of us – Alyssa explained – She’s rarely spotted by any of the other wives, and talking to her is almost impossible for us. Only Poseidon-sama, Proteus-sama and the servants are in touch with her routine and habits. We don’t even know exactly her feelings and thoughts towards us: some of the girls believe she hates us, this being the reason why we don’t see her often, but others think she actually cares for us, because she was the first to know the god of the seas as a man, so she’s aware of what is like to be in our place. I’ve never seen her myself, and I’m not sure of what to think, but I think she uses to spend her time out of here, maybe with her family, friends or a lover. I suppose we will never know.

You, from your part, were sure that enduring days and nights beside a man like the Tyrant of the Seas and being forced to accept the presence of thousands of other women in her own house must have been anything but easy. You were able to feel compassion for the goddess, but tried not to think too much about it.

What really interested you about Amphitrite, to be honest, had nothing to do with her private life or marriage.

– I’d understand if she chose to live her life that way. I suppose I myself would do the same if I was in her place – you commented – But, about her role as the Queen of the Seas... how exactly does it work? What are the signs of her presence here?

About this, Alyssa had some words, but they sounded as mysterious as all the rest.

– As far as I know, she shares the administrative matters with her husband, though he’s the one who has the final word in every question – a strange glimmer appeared in her eyes – But I’ve heard some stories that said that she is the real responsible for the maintenance of the palace’s structure, which includes its physical premises, the organization of the staff and their daily routine… and even us.

– What? – you frowned.

– About this, I have my doubts – your friend shrugged – But some say that most of the servants answer directly to her, and that even Proteus-sama fears her. Besides, there are rumors that she has already helped women and their children to leave her husband’s domain forever, as a way to favor the ones who have suffered and to maintain the order, given that the number of women would always vary like this.

– I see.

– Well, whether these stories are true or not, Amphitrite-sama is the Queen of this place, and we should be careful if we ever have to deal with her.

***

During the period that preceded your wedding, you received all your meals inside the lodge by the same hours everyday: since you still haven’t been touched by Poseidon neither you were given the pair of earrings that identified his wives, you still haven’t the right to join the other women in the great hall for breakfasts, lunches and dinners. Alyssa had the said right, but due to the aching that her swollen feet provoked in case she insisted on the long walk to the hall, as well as to make you company, she preferred to eat in the room, where you had a small table prepared for this.

However, now that you were married and were free from physical restrictions, you no longer had reasons to keep yourself separated from the others, so right in the day after you were sent back, a servant came to lead you to have your first lunch in the hall.

Even though you were expecting for this, your heart jumped inside your chest with the perspective of entering a large place full of people who you didn’t know and who weren’t exactly receptive to your kind. You thought of asking your friend to come with you, but didn’t have the courage to do so: you would have to learn to survive there sooner or later, without bringing discomfort to anyone. But, without you expecting it, she offered herself to accompany you.

The servant raised an eyebrow at her.

– Are you really in conditions of walking to the great hall?

– I am – Alyssa replied with all the confidence – Besides, this is an important moment for my friend, and I want to be there with her.

The servant looked from her to you, then back to her, but didn’t argue. They asked both of you to follow them and closed the room’s door as you walked out of it.

***

The servant pushed the pair of golden doors before you with little effort, but they obeyed immediately, revealing the great hall in its full glory.

Just like you imagined, it was similar to other places you’ve been at, in a sense that it carried cleanliness, organization and luxury as its pillars, making it as beautiful as those other premises, with walls decorated with marine concepts, columns of white marble, large tables of noble woods and objects coated in gold – and it was as full as the center of a human city in a market day.

To anywhere you looked, you saw a mixture of colors, shapes and sounds created by priestesses of the Northern Waters, selkies, naiads and other kinds of nymphs, mermaids who were able to change their scales and walk with legs, and many other women from different regions of the known worlds, all of them wearing pearls like yours. Some would proudly exhibit the jewels as if they were the meaning of their lives, but others seemed to have forgotten about their presence on their bodies, just like the pearls became part of them; in fact, some didn’t wear them as proper earrings: there were girls who you guessed to be from the depths of the seas, having delicate, translucent fins instead of ears, and the pearls were pierced on their upper sides; others didn’t have visible auricular organs at all, so the pearls were on their heads, necks and, in some cases, on each side of their hairless faces, where their eyebrows would be.

The majority of the women, which bodies were of humanoid shapes, had their pregnancies evident, with rounded bellies covered in loosen dresses, like to the one you were wearing right now, but others seemed to be just like you, with no protuberance to indicate the presence of a child inside them; and there were some who, despite resembling the human form, were carrying baskets on the fold of their arms in order to transport eggs, and those eggs were from different numbers and appearances. You didn’t see children at that place, and this corroborated with what Alyssa told about them being taken from their mothers after the period of essential activities between them, such as breastfeeding.

Indeed, the scene was strange and beautiful, so much that if you didn’t know what kind of place you were at, you could be led to believe that you were in a kingdom of women.

As you walked through the main corridor, having the long tables at both sides, you recognized some of the girls who traveled with you, but most of them you were seeing for the first time. From their part, the reactions were similar to what you saw when you entered the carriage: at each step you took, the looks of curiosity, suspicion, disdain and explicit discontentment for the presence of, not only one, but two human beings in that sacred house burned your skin and made your heart beat faster.

You glanced at Alyssa and noticed her nervousness.

– Are you alright? – you whispered.

– Yes – she mumbled back, with her hands on her belly – It’s just that I’m no longer used to the distance between our room and this place.

– I see – you looked ahead, and spotted the space where you were supposed to take your food – Let’s get something for us and find a calmer spot to sit at.

You stopped in front of the large pans and the mixed scent of spices, seeds and meat invaded your nostrils alongside the steam. Everything seemed tasty, though you could barely recognize the foods. Unlike the things offered to you at the lodge – everything specially selected for your species – the foods were all mixed there, so Alyssa instructed you while you filled your plate, indicating what would be accepted by your body and what you were better stay away from. In the end, you managed to get a good combination of exotic seafood and typical spices from Midgard, and went to one of the tables.

***

The meal was excellent, and you were content for finding a good spot to sit despite the crowd around you. In order to not gather unwanted attention (at least not more than you already received), you avoided talking while you were there, unless it was strictly necessary. You were careful not to make a mess, and cleaned after ourselves before leaving the table.

To be honest, the hall wasn’t as noisy as you expected: it was more like a party were only the rich attended, with a display of good manners, elegance and the sound of soft voices spreading across the air. You never enjoyed being at that type of event while you lived with your father, but you knew how to behave, using your ears more than your eyes, pretending to be absorbed in your current task and only looking around a few times to make sure you became part of the landscape.

Still, a human who has entered the hall for the first time couldn’t be as invisible as she wished, and you noticed the occasional looks from the people near you. There was a woman in special, who were sitting on the opposite side of your table, three seats away from Alyssa, who wouldn’t take her eyes off you, even when you stared her back; she resembled a human girl in everything, from her brown, wavy hair to her olive skin, the only exception being the aspect of her eyes, bigger, in the slight shape of almonds, with their outer corners turned up. Alyssa noticed her looks and, moving her lips without letting her voice out, she identified her one word.

Selkie.

You’ve never seen an individual from that people before, but you’ve heard stories about some who has been living among humans since the old times; the relations between the two species were never easy, so that you wouldn’t be surprised if that one tried to bring this old feud to the depths of the sea. You already decided to ask about her later, but soon this precaution became unnecessary, for when you stood up and prepared to leave, the sounds of the room were supplanted by a clear, real voice.

– Another human being among us in so little time? Interesting. It seems that our beloved husband is planning to bring change to the family. For reasons only known by himself.

Your eyes turned automatically to the selkie’s direction, and you saw she was already looking at you, now on her feet. You noticed her swollen belly under a tunic of an opaque fabric that resembled a seal skin. The table was silent as the other women stared at you, some unsettled by those words, others eager to hear your reply.

Alyssa grabbed her plate and was going to walk around the table to reach your side, but you saw the look in her eyes, a quiet plead for you to not listen to the provocations, but you were just tired of that and decided to ignore the advice.

– If you’re going to say that I don’t belong to this kingdom and I have no right to be here – you took your plate from the table – Save your words, because I myself agree with you.

The selkie frowned: whatever she wanted to hear from you, it wasn’t those words.

– What?

You sighed.

– Do you really think one would choose to live in a place where their people are not welcome? – you looked around – Would someone here do something like that?

The woman bit her lip, but kept her composure.

– Whether you chose to come here or not, it’s good that you’re aware of this. You must be a careful girl.

You shrugged.

– Most of the times.

Alyssa, who finally stopped by your side, intervened.

– We’re not seeking for trouble, Melian – she spoke to the selkie – There’s no need for this conversation to carry on.

The other displayed a smile full of sharp, small teeth at your friend, but there was no sign of sympathy on her gaze.

– Why not? We’re having so much fun with it!

You spoke to bring her attention back to you.

– So, is there something you want to ask, or am I allow to leave? – you glanced at Alyssa – I need to take her back to her room.

Melian raised an eyebrow, as if thinking of a new provocation. But, as it uses to happen with people who are used to such things, she didn’t need much time to find one.

– You’re so worried about your human friend, but what about yourself? – and, inclining her head to the side in fake worry, – Don’t you need special care too?

– What?

– Oh, you’re pregnant, aren’t you? – Melian pointed at your ears – I can see you’ve already been with him, but were you able to do your part, or are you just like her, who needed a second trial to do the only thing she’s supposed to be good at?

Alyssa lowered her eyes, but said anything. You gritted your teeth: you could stand people talking at your back and despising you, but doing this with a friend was a different story.

You decided to speak out the truth and see what was going to happen.

– No, I’m not carrying a child and, heaven forbid, I will never do it!

A wave of shocked whispers spread among the girls.

“Is she unable to conceive?”

“Poseidon-sama didn’t touch her? Why did he bring her here, then?”

“Maybe he did touch her, but she didn’t get pregnant!”

“What if she refused to give him children? Can you imagine that?”

“Nonsense! Saying no to a god, and your husband? She could never...”

“If this was the case, she would certainly be punished, but she’s here, safe and sound!”

– Don’t listen to them – Alyssa whispered – They have nothing to do with this.

Melian, whose surprise hasn’t been completely hidden, still had some words for you.

– Is this some sort of punishment he gave you, or are you cursed? Why do you speak of your condition in such a cheerful manner?

– Because, to me, it’s a reason to cheer at – the firmness of your words silenced the whispers and made her swallow – When I was taken to my wedding night, I pleaded to our husband, asking him not to give me children… and he listened to me. I am able to conceive, but I didn’t wish to, so I begged him and got my request answered.

The air was heavy with that revelation. How dare you – was the question in each of the faces turned to you.

– I don’t believe you – Melian spoke between her teeth – If you did something like this, you should be dead.

– Yet, here I am – you hit back – Alive and not pregnant. What are you going to do about it?

The selkie gasped. Alyssa held your arm, as if begging you to leave the hall.

It was when a calm contralto voice raised in the room, and everyone turned to its direction.

– Melian, won’t you stop pestering the girl just because she did the very thing you wanted to do, but had no courage to?

The voice belonged to a woman with blue skin and fins on each side of her head, who was sitting on the same side of the table as Melian and somehow looked older than the women around her. You noticed that she was the only one who hasn’t raised her head to see the argument, but it didn’t mean that she wasn’t paying attention. You found it curious that, despite not having a prominent belly, her chair was positioned at a certain distance from the table.

The selkie turned to her, with a gaze that carried more nervousness than exasperation.

– Suriah, don’t start with your...

– Don’t you know our husband detests these kind of behavior? – the woman, Suriah, interrupted, unaffected – Besides, meal times are supposed to be pleasing, not a source of distress.

Melian’s skin turned pale with those words, less because of fear of the older wife than because of a non disguised anger.

The woman sighed and finally looked at you.

– You’re not just an inexperienced wife, as far as I can see, human – she started – You also know little about dealing with gods, don’t you?

You swallowed. You remembered that Poseidon himself said something similar to you.

– You could say that.

Suriah laughed.

– It’s pretty obvious, judging by the fact that you didn’t just plead to him… – she raised the spot on her face where there would be an eyebrow if she had hair – You tried to negotiate with him, didn’t you?

You gasped. How did she know?

– This type of thing might work among your people, but with gods, specially with someone like Poseidon-sama, things are quite different – she explained – He might have conceded you the favor you wanted, but what he asked from you in return… I suppose it made you shiver.

You didn’t reply.

– You don’t need to be so shy about it – she assured you – There are others like you around here, and they know what it’s like to be in such position. Our husband indeed loves us, but he doesn’t get along with rebel women. In this sense, Melian is in a better place than you.

Melian, who was still in silence, lowered her eyes at those words.

You, from your part, wanted to leave that place and forget about this unsettling conversation at first, but your curiosity, as well as the fact that you needed to gather information, overcame this urge, and you stood there.

– Suriah, right? – she nodded positively at your question – You seem to have experience in matters with gods. Can you tell me more?

Suriah seemed satisfied with your request.

– Of course I can, and I’m going to make things easier for you to understand by telling my own story. When I first came here, I knew the basics about my future husband and the life that awaited me, yet I think that if I knew more, I would never get into this situation – she sighed – Just like you, I wasn’t willing to carry children, so I begged for his favor, he gave it to me… But with a price.

You sensed a tension spreading among the women when the word price reached their ears. Suriah ignored this and carried on with the story.

– There’s a certain game, very popular among the gods, which I won’t bother to describe to you. I should learn the rules in one week and play one time with a subordinate of Proteus-sama, who’s a master at it. The result would determine if my request would be answered: if I won, I wouldn’t be impregnated that year; otherwise, I would have a child for each mistake during the game… every year.

You gasped.

– Every year? – your voice trembled – How is this possible?

Suriah chuckled, not refusing an explanation.

– The physiology of my people is such that allows us to endure multiple pregnancies. If I make love once, I will have one child. If it happens more times, consecutively, I will have the equivalent number of children. This is precisely what I bargained with Poseidon-sama: no child, or the number of my mistakes. And I lost.

You swallowed, but found the courage to ask what you had in mind.

– And how many mistakes you made?

The woman revealed the reason why her chair was distant from the table: she had a basket with lilac eggs on her lap. An unsettling wave of whispers spread among the girls when she raised the basket, and Melian slowly sat down. You couldn’t take your eyes off the basket’s interior, but found yourself unable to count the eggs: you only knew that they were many.

Answering the question you didn’t make, Suriah spoke:

– There are fifteen eggs here – she looked at them with affection – Fifteen beautiful children waiting to be born. Just as there were fifteen of them last year, and there will be in the next one.

Chapter 7

#record of ragnarok poseidon #shuumatsu no valkyrie poseidon #poseidon x reader #ror poseidon x reader #snv poseidon x reader #snv poseidon #ror poseidon

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dreaminglongingly · 8 days ago

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Oct 29

I wasn't there. I haven't got on Twitch for years and I never did watch VODS. Ever since Techno died I just read about what happened and tried to distract my self honestly. And I just found out cause I was looking at my friend's feed haha. Never would have expected Jack Manifold and Tommyinnit to hop in the dsmp server for one last time. God it hurts. I just spent the last hour looking at TikTok and getting back on my Twitch Account. It's just. Surreal, like wow. So many people are joking about how they're back in the building and all. But here I am thinking and realizing that I never left. I'd check on AO3 every week, glance at tumblr everyday and... It hurts. I see a lot of people comparing C!Tommy's reaction like how your Minecraft dog would react when you get back in your world and I'm just here finding out-

Oh. That's me. I'm the dog in this situation. And it's not like I haven't moved on. I did, I accepted the fact that it was over, that it was done. Doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt like a wound I let fester. It's like the years I spend in that fandom materialized itself like a gaping scar in my heart.

I remember the start of the fandom on Ao3. I read the first fic to be published and read everything else since. Truthfully, I had focused on Tommyinnit's lore but I was really obsessed with their unforgettable improv.

And now I'm rambling. I'd always stay quiet on every other topic except for this one. Just wow. "Getting there" Huh. I can't deny that it also kinda sucked, but it was so exhilarating back then. Hundreds of fan arts posted everyday on each platform, I'd wade through fanfiction like a joyful fish leaping along the stream.

It was the moment. It was amazing and it was mine. That era gave me good and bad memories I still cherish. And with the confusion on what the end to that era really was,

I'm really glad Jack streamed that day.

I was busy with college then, in 2020-2021 I would've thrown everything aside to watch it immediately. But times have changed, we all grew up.

I don't know where I'm going with this actually. I guess I just wanted to write down how I felt. Without knowing how to out my feelings into words haha. This is a mess, and those times were a mess too.

But sometimes, in a moments coincidence. Just like how the sun was just right as C!Jack looked back at C!Techno's house. That era felt so beautiful too.

Despite all my wishes of what I could've done back then. There's nothing I could do to change it. Just live on I guess. Despite everything, were still here. And I really hope we'll get there too.

Somehow. We will.

#dsmp #jack manifold #tommyinnit #dsmp epilogue #Idk what I'm doing hahah

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kayluh1915 · 1 year ago

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can we get the ianthony kisses from kiss currency YouTube video?

I think new ianthony shippers need to be remind of that video?

please and thank you.

psssst, disclaimer…

Oh, absolutely! Given the recent influx of new shippers, I think it's important to bring up a lot of other important moments, not just the kiss(es)! There are plenty more where these come from, but the following are just my favorites in no particular order!

The First and Second Kiss Password to the second kiss video is: ianthony

You heard me right, folks! There actually were three kisses, but one of them was a head kiss (later in the list). It's just as cute as the other two, but if we're talking lip kisses, there's only two of those... for now😉

only a picture for the second one because the video file sucks which in turn makes a horrid quality gif.

The Ass Smack

Dude, I remember this blew my mind when it happened the first time. This happened a few months before the first kiss so this was probably the biggest moment that had happened in the fandom at the time. I remember us not being able to shut up about it!

He did slap Ian's ass before in this video a couple months before this one, but it was no where near as influential.

The Ghost Reenactment

If you all haven't seen the 1990 classic romance movie "Ghost..." then what the heck are you doing with your life? It's a tear-jerker, but it's worth the watch especially if you love 80s and 90s media like I do!

Anyways, there's a scene in the movie where they make pottery together. I think this speaks for its self.

edit: i have to go back to work tomorrow and i'm trying to finish this as quickly as possible so i can do my prework week shopping so i'm using one of my old gifs here. hope that's okay.

The Head Kiss

Yes, the second of the three "kisses." As already mentioned, this one doesn't count since it wasn't on the lips. Despite that, it's still extremely cute and is enough to melt your heart! 🥺

edit: oh my god it's fluffier than i remember it being what the fuck i'm dead

And last but not least (in my personal opinion):

Shot in the Dark

For those of you who have been around, you already know why this is my favorite Ianthony moment to date. For you newer guys, let me summarize as quick as I can.

I love this so much because when you take away the context and just look at this clip for what it is... wow.

From just how close they're standing to each other, how Ian asks where Anthony is, how Anthony calmly replies to him, and how Anthony puts his hand extremely close to Ian's face which looks like he's putting it on Ian's face with the silhouettes...dead. Just dead.

old gifs again, sorry... 😬

This took me so long omg. If you guys want, I can do a second post! Since their reunion, I feel like there's a lot of past moments that need to be brought back up just so the newer guys can get a feel of the Ianthony history!

Until then, I hope this post was alright for you my dear!💙💙

#anon #answer #my gifs #kayla's ramblings #ianthony #☀️🔍#ianthony history #I guess that's what I'll call these throwback posts

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roomwithanopenfire · 4 months ago

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fandom ask game: 2, 12, 13, and 15

Thanks for the ask!!! (from this ask game)

2. a headcanon you weren't sure about at first but have come to like!

I feel like every time someone asks me about headcanons I literally forget every single head canon ever. Tbh I'm so open to most head canons out there I'll always give them a shot. Most the time when I read anything you say about the Mage I have an initial slightly skeptical "hmmm" reaction before being like "yeah, i can buy into that actually"

12. compliment someone else in your fandom

There's SO many lovely people in this fandom who I could compliment but I'm going to compliment @run-for-chamo-miles!! First of all, Elle's Snowbaz is so soft and lovely, and I love just how real their fics feel. The sorts of details they highlight are just lovely. Every single one of their works that I've read, I've loved—and I definitely plan on slowly making my way through them all <3 (EVEN the RWRB ones, I'm coming for those). But in addition to their writing, I have to compliment them for being so nice and welcoming! Elle was one of the first people who commented on my very first long fic back in 2022, when the only part of the fandom I interacted with was reading and writing fanfic. I remember going onto their page and seeing how much stuff they'd written and being like "wow this super experienced fanfic writer is reading my stuff!" 😭 Pretty sure they were one of the first people I followed on Tumblr and they roped me into Six Sentence Sunday at the end of last year, which was the push I needed to be active in this fandom—which has been so much fun!! They are literally so nice all the time in tags and reblogs and it always makes me smile to see them in my notifs. (Also, Elle, how do you make replies to comments SO NICE? literally cheesing reading your replies to my comments on your fics💗💗💗 You've got to be one of the sweetest people ever!)

13. your favorite type of fandom event (gift exchange, ship week, secret santa, prompt meme, etc)

I don't know if I've done enough events to know my favorite. I've only done big bangs and fic exchanges. I had so much fun doing the COBB this year and I'm doing a mini bang for the stranger things fandom right now, and I just think it's so fun to make something with someone else. Also the one fic exchange I've done was also so fun—to write a fic with someone else in mind is so cool. Honestly, I just love the idea of fandom events and the community it brings!!

15. the character that always makes you smile

I can't pick, I love too many characters. Baz and Simon for the basic answer I guess 😅

#ask game #this is such a fun ask game actually #i love how positive these questions are #lily answers asks

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futturmangamez · 1 month ago

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Warning: this is a longggg post😅😅

Another ooc post..shh ik yall want futturman not me just GIVE ME A MIN LMAO. U may or may not know this account is 5 months old now (very woo..very wow) I mentioned in my last post it def has been a major twist in my life, considering the fact I'm literally acting like one of my fav fictional characters basically 99.9 % of the time haha. Yes, there has been MANY awesome great things that come with this account, but there has also been lots of negative (unfortunately but hey hey hey dw we move onnn!! big swagarooneyyy ya feel me lemon peppas??🤙) This is another reminder, a very important one, that yes even tho this is a roleplay account and the purpose is that it's supposed to literally be josh, pls remember I am UNFORTUNATELY not josh futturman😩😩😩😩(I mean fuck we r very similar but..) I am a human behind the screen, not ai. Pls be respectful..this includes to ALL. Roleplay accounts. Clearly I'm ok with a loT on this account (aka silly reblogs, spicy dms, very nsfw asks u name it) but as a human who has human experiences I am not alwayssss able to comply to some things and that's ok. There r pros and cons to running an account like this..sometimes u wake up to 50+ notifs, sometimes u wake up to 0. If for some reason I miss or don't reply to ur post, it's very possible it got lost in the sea on notifs, I seen it and told myself I'd get back to it when I had a proper futturman-like reply(happens but i do get back within the week), and/or I ignored it bc it made me uncomfy/confused. Usually in that last case it's because I'm aware ur a minor and u replied to a nsfw post in an even more nsfw manner (tss tss haha). If u really want josh to see a post, feel free to tag him, I'm not against that😁 Sometimes as a roleplayer (other ppl have agreed) that it can feel pressuring to run our pages and keep up with the notifications and dms, so pls pls have patience. And if u dont get quick replies back or begin to grow angry bc josh does not dm u the way u may have wanted or something, respectfully maybe touch grass aha..I am doing my best. There were some past followers that soley used my character for sex purposes and if that's what u want, there are PLENTY of ai platforms u can run and cum to as many times as you'd like🔥🔥(yes some shit is allowed but lets not only hmu to help u rub one out😅..josh is flattered tho LMFAO)somedays ofc we all get posters block (similar to writers or art block..I just made this up haha) especially to the accounts that have been around for longer..we r doing our best trying to come up with unique ideas to keep the characters alive without repeating the same content over and over😅so also to those who help throw cool stuff in our inbox to open new doors and ideas for the character, thanks a million..a roleplay account continues to live from both parties. On that note, the jhutch fandom is lowkey dying atm, especially the tumblr one. I completely understand whether ur hyperfixation is dying or u r busy with school/personal life..I hope u guys understand that I can be busy too, hence why some days I am not as active as other days. I've also contemplated deleting this account a lot of times due to the fact that I can get overwhelmed sometimes+I feel silly role-playing a character when I myself am even more of a loser than josh haha so I'm always like 😃wtf am I doing josh hutcherson would probably think I'm insane for this😃 ofcourse I'm not sure if this is like..the maturist thing to do at my grown ass age but whateva😅if I do decide to take any breaks in the future pls don't be mad☹️

So yea um..ik that was a whole fucking lot of a mess but I feel like I had to get those points out b4 I continued this account and I really hope u guys can respect & understand my feelings..if not ☺️dm me what u don't like. I'd LOVE. To have a conversation with u about what u don't like about my account that i run🙈 if ur seeing this, thank u for taking the time out to read all of this. Means a lot to me to know I've made atleast one person in the jhutch fandom smile thru my page💛

-sincerely 🃏

#ooc post #sry for sm #thanks for reading #understanding #and sticking around #sending love and hugs #returning to futty noww<33

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imgoingtocrash · 1 year ago

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Hello there! It's your Rebelcaptain Secret Santa :) Hope you had a wonderfull week and that you have something great planned for the weekend. I'm probably around 1/3 into writing your gift, and I was just wondering: is there anything you absolutely DON'T want to see, any tropes that give you the ick, any characters you avoid? Also, on a completely different note: if you were to choose your top 3 favourite rebelcaptain fics, what would those be?

Oh hello!!! It's been a busy work week but that means money sooo we're going with it lol.

As for anything I don't want to see, I don't think there's anything?? I feel like my prompts were pretty vanilla so I can't imagine anything particularly shocking or appalling that you could do that would make me not want to read something. (And I love angst, so anything darker there is always encouraged rather than discouraged lmaooo)

Now asking me for my favorite fics on the other hand...I'm notorious for making detailed fic rec lists. That's dangerous.

For now, I'll do 3 all time favorites of MANY more, and 3 more recent reads (though some of them are older, because I'm back in the tag rn)

Top 3 All Time Favorites:

cassian andor nonsense + assorted nonsense timestamps by theputterer

I love this series. It's Cassian centric at first, and then it's about their relationship in the context of their pasts and I am just!!! Overflowed with love for it all of the time. I binged it when I first read it, and there are some oneshots in the verse that I come back to and re-read when I'm in a mood. (Blood Brothers, where Jyn gets to meet Cassian's Imperial brother, is a weird favorite, but I think I've re-read it like 4 times. I love that sort of 3rd person POV on a ship I just DO.)

only fools rush in by andromeda3116

I re-read this fic almost every holiday season, that's how much I love it. Fake dating trope, holiday vibes, bickering but well-meaning family that learns to come together. It's catnip to me.

Color My Cheeks by Copper_Nails (Her_Madjesty)

Another older but beloved favorite that I've re-read multiple times. One of the first fics I ever read in the fandom, and I think one of the first sex pollen fics I'd ever read. It's not just trope-y sexy fun, but the fact that it goes into the AFTER of a sex pollen event and what that means for them emotionally feels so unique and interesting. Now I'm thinking about re-reading it again. Sigh.

Definitely could give you more all-time favorite recs, but here are some more recent fics I've read:

Lost and Found by mosylu

As of today, just completed, and WOW what a journey! I left rambling, crazy comments on this fic almost every week for good reason. It was sweet, it was angsty, it was just!!!! Amazing. I'm probably going to come back to this one again down the road for sure.

Delivery Week by SleepyKalena

I've read quite a few Film/Production based fanfics over the years, but this one is for us post girlies!!! An edit bay meet-cute, bitching about color correcting/matching--truly this fic has it all and feels tailor-made to me as an editor, even if it's at an animation studio rather than live action.

spy games by skitzofreak

I'm basically reading through all of their star wars fics right now, so highly highly recommend this author as a whole. (The fact that I've apparently left kudos on some of them before and don't remember it at all is...funny.) This one is just a great, cute starter where Cassian and Jyn have an entire silent conversation in front of a bunch of recruits. So good.

Your asks remind me to send asks to MY giftee, so I'm so happy to hear from you each week! Have a wonderful week and good vibes to your writing progress! 💖

#rebelcaptain #star wars #fic recs #cassian x jyn #i have like. 5 years worth of fanfic recs for them and i'm in like 2018 in the tag for jollies rn i LOVE them and everyone writing for them #asks #anon

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tallmadgeandtea · 1 year ago

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Turn Week 2023:

My Origin Story!

Hi! It’s me, tallmadgeandtea, aka Amanda, and happy Turn Week 2023! Sometimes, it’s hard to believe I haven’t always been in this fandom or had this blog, but anyways, to quote my mother’s favorite movie: Let’s start at the very beginning. A very good place to start.

When I was a child, I was a fan of Liberty’s Kids, also known as the gateway drug for becoming interested American history. I was so obsessed I forced my entire class to watch it but THATS IRRELEVANT AND EMBARRASSING, OKAY. That year, I said I wanted to be a historian in my school’s yearbook, which was cute but also a bit…. Weird… of me. Yeah, I liked history before Hamilton, AND before Turn! (Wow, what a cool brag.)

I’ve seen a couple people say the started Turn but gave up during the pilot and, well, I was one of those people. I tried watching it before my very first trip to Colonial Williamsburg, and I don’t even think I got ten minutes in? I definitely don’t remember seeing Benjamin in his blue and gold or covered in dirt and blood, so…

But, a couple years later- late 2019 if we’re being exact- I decided to start a book called Alex and Eliza. I only got a chapter in when I remembered there was a show on Netflix about the revolution, and I was like hey! Why not watch it? And by episode three, I was obsessed. I watched s1 in a week, and I actually started my turn fic- SS&SP- shortly after, which is insane to think about. Then I watched seasons 1 to 3 in a month, (on my phone, like a CRAZY PERSON) and I was like, well, now what? I loved everything about the show, but I didn’t know if there was a fandom or if I was just screaming into a void.

I lurked for a couple months on here before finally deciding to make my own Turn blog. I’d been on tumblr for years, but I never actually posted my own content and after years of being on fandom twitter, I was like, “Wait, how do people talk on here?” But I like to think I’ve figured it out! I decided on tallmadgeandtea because, well, it’s two things I love very much. And of course, 2020 happened, and I spent so much time on here talking about the show and getting to know everyone! It seemed like we were all finding the show and it gave us something to look forward to.

I started posting SS&SP and doing Turn and Teas, and the rest is history! Happy Turn Week 2023!

#I’m here I’m HERE #I have taken ill #I got a tetanus shot and it KICKED MY ASS #anyways #hi!!!#turn week 2023 #tumblr user tallmadgeandtea comments on the situation

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ala-baguette · 2 years ago

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WIP Word Search Game

Thanks for the tag, @evesaintyves! I searched through my Work-in Progress folder and wow. Way to highlight to me that I have a WIP problem. Gotta get some of these out into the world! my words: sick | ghost | whisper | sweet | face

Sick- [Found (tentative title), a WIP one-shot companion piece to Knowing Where to Look] Mrs Weasley was on one of her backing stints. No surprises there. No one had the heart to tell her that they were all sick to death of eating turnovers and shortbread and Chelsea buns and lemon drizzle. They all continued to take whatever she gave them without complaint. Because at least baking seemed to keep her brain busy enough to stop her from crying. For a bit anyway.

Ghost- [Untitled Luna Lovegood Left Behind one-shot WIP] “Daddy?” Luna did not look down to see if he was listening. She didn’t need to. He was always there when she needed him. So her fingers did not still, brushing the long red strokes of Ginny’s hair across the ceiling. “Hm?” came Dad’s response. The soft clinks continued, and Luna doubted he’d looked up from his work. “Why do we never talk about Mummy?” The soft sounds of Dad’s tools stilled then. There was a long pause. Luna felt pain and sorrow in that silence. Felt the comforting ghost of Mum’s presence in the room tugged swiftly away, leaving an empty loneliness in its wake. They said black was the colour of protection, but Luna didn’t much like that. She instead dipped her brush in blue and added a cluster of cornflowers to frame Ginny’s face. It was the meaning she assigned that was far more powerful than superstition. “What brought this on?” Dad asked at last “I don’t know… I suppose I’ve been missing her lately. I would like to talk to her. Tell her about my friends. About all the amazing things I saw in the Department of Mysteries. And all the terrible things I saw there. Tell her about the Christmas party I went to with Harry. And about the walk around the lake I took with Ginny. It makes me sad sometimes that I can’t tell her about those things. Sad that I lost so much time with her.” Her father was silent for a moment more, then he said, “I’ve lost time before. It’s always in the last place you look for it.” And the sounds of his tool continued. Luna paused to consider these words quietly. Then nodded, satisfied. She took up another brush and added a few tiny yellow buttercups among the cornflowers.

Whisper- [Unbuttoned, unpublished and abandoned fic for the teeny tiny Sevenwaters fandom (my one and only time writing outside of the HP fandom, and wowza we're delving deep into the archives with this one. Last time this document was modified was in 2010!)] She reached up, and brought his lips to hers and kissed him softly. Lovingly. And like a whisper on the wind, he heard his name upon her lips. It hurt to open his eyes again, knowing that he would be back on the rocks and there would be no green-eyed beauty looking back at him with adoration. It hurt, but he forced himself to do so. For what he wanted did not matter. He was her protector. Whatever happened, he was there to ensure her safety. No matter the cost to his heart.

Sweet- [Untitled Parvati Patil Left Behind one-shot WIP] “Ugh. Two whole weeks of my parents fawning over Perfect Padma.” Sitting up straight, she batted her eyelashes, plastered a soppy sweet expression on her face, and grasped her hands together over her heart. Adopting a high-pitched eager voice, she cried, “Oh yes, Mother dear! Please let me help you with dinner. Just as soon as I finish the homework for the twelve OWL courses I’m taking, clean the bathroom, and work up a budget for the Charms Club, which you may remember I’m now treasurer of.” She let her hands drop to her lap and slumped back into her seat. “Suck up.” “Oh, come off it,” Lavender said, shaking splayed fingers back and forth to encourage the varnish to dry faster. With each shake of the wrist, her colour-changing nail polish changed hue wildly in confusion. “Padma’s not that bad. You’re exaggerating.” “Easy for you to say. You aren’t sisters with her. You don’t get compared to her in every little thing that you do!”

Face- [Knowing Where to Look, upcoming chapter] They were very close now, practically toe-to-toe. He was not a tall man—half a head shorter than Gawain-- but he raised his chin and met Gawain’s eye defiantly, and he struck Gawain as anything but short. The silence in the kitchen was deafening as they stared at each other. Gawain felt the blood drain from his face. His heart was pounding, his breath coming short and shallow. But he kept his expression determinedly blank.

I find myself often hesitant to engage in these chain activities because my community is so small and I'm not on Tumblr enough to know who has has already taken part in this. So instead of tagging anyone specific, I will just offer an open invitation to anyone who wishes to take part. Tag, you're it! Your words are: Lost | Glimmer | Fall | Soft | Breath

#harry potter fanfiction #hp fanfic #fic wip #tag you're it #harry potter #luna lovegood #molly weasley #parvati patil #gawain robards

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kagehinafromtheconcrete · 2 years ago

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afterglow || snow day (fictober day 08)

fandom: haikyuu!! pairing: kagehina fic summary: Kageyama has learned a lot of things since befriending Hinata Shouyou. Things about Hinata, things about himself. How to open up. How to be vulnerable. How to love. And Hinata? Hinata learns more about Kageyama than he ever thought he would. First-year Kagehina/Hinakage drabble collection ft. the rest of Karasuno, written for sarahenany. Slowly working through the remaining Fictober 2022 prompts! fictober day 8: "do you remember?" by @fictober-event ch summary: School is canceled due to the snowy weather. Hinata bikes into town and shows up at Kageyama's house anyway.

entire drabble below. :) find the whole collection: ao3 // tumblr

“Whoa, it really snowed a ton,” Hinata exclaimed into the phone, panting. “No wonder they canceled school before it even started yesterday.”

Kageyama winced at the loud volume of his voice, although he didn’t know what he expected. Of course Hinata would be wide-awake at—at whatever time it was. Kageyama, personally, had decided to sleep in until his phone started ringing.

“You called me to tell me it snowed?” he grumbled, rubbing an eye. “I coulda looked out the window, idiot.”

“Wow, ok, you’re an idiot,” Hinata shot back. “We don’t have to sit through boring classes! Where’s your excitement?”

“I’m too tired for that shit. Give me one reason why I shouldn’t hang up so I can go back to sleep.”

This time, Hinata chuckled nervously. “Well, um… I’m kind of at your door, so…”

Kageyama shot upright, eyes blowing wide. “You’re what? ”

“I’m at your door,” Hinata repeated, slower, his words tinged with more nervous laughter. “...can I come in?”

For a moment, Kageyama’s sleep-clogged brain failed to register Hinata’s request. He just sat there with dinner plate eyes, mouth hanging open, struggling to process his words.

Hinata. Hinata willingly came over, on their spontaneous day off from school. And now he was at his door. For what reason? It snowed enough to cancel the whole day of classes, not to mention volleyball practice, and this idiot had left his house—a house that sat on a damn mountain—and how did he even get here? On foot?

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Kageyama burst out finally, throwing himself out of his bed. “It’s gotta be freezing outside and you’re—did you bike here?”

“Uh,” Hinata fumbled, and the silence that followed was enough of an answer for Kageyama.

“You idiot,” he went on, and it didn’t matter that he was only in pajamas because moronic Hinata was at his door, had ridden his bike in the snow, and something about those facts had him rushing to let Hinata in.

“Hi,” Hinata said meekly when he finally reached and opened the door.

Kageyama nearly dropped his phone.

Hair damp, nose pink, and the shell of his coat dripping, Hinata looked like he’d been caught in the rain. His bike lay on its side, discarded in the yard, and a glance down at his shoes showed Kageyama that they were soaked.

“Oh my god, get in here, you moron,” Kageyama hissed, yanking him by the arm immediately. “Are you stupid? It’s freezing outs— you’re freezing!”

“Yeah… I realized that riding my bike probably wasn’t very smart,” Hinata said nervously, looking down at his shoes as he removed them slowly. “I slid on the ice a few times, so… I got all wet from the snow…”

“What were you thinking?” Kageyama said as he closed the door. “You could get sick! You could’ve been hurt—did you get hurt? You didn’t scrape yourself up, did you? We have a game next week!”

“I know, it was pretty stupid,” Hinata said. “And impulsive. I just… Natsu and Kaa-san were held up because of the snow, and the buses aren’t running, and… and I wanted to see you, I guess.”

Kageyama’s rant withered in his throat, and his mouth snapped shut. What did he say to that? His brain blanked on him as he stared at Hinata’s sheepish but genuine expression, once again failing to come up with the right words to respond.

“Oh,” was all that came out, faint and inexplicably breathless, when his voice finally decided to work again.

But then he saw the way Hinata’s lip quivered, and everything came back online in an instant. He tugged at Hinata’s gloved hand—what was the point of wearing them if they were wet?—and dragged him along as he marched off to his bedroom.

“Wha—where are we going?” Hinata squeaked. “What’re you… what’re you doing?”

“You have to get those wet clothes and get warm, dumbass,” Kageyama told him because, hello, wasn’t it obvious? “You’re going to get sick.”

When they reached Kageyama’s bedroom, he released Hinata to dig through his dresser for something even a little small for Hinata to wear. He wasn’t very successful—all he had was old clothes from middle school, but he ultimately decided Hinata in clothes too large for him was better than a sick Hinata, right?

“I’m sorry,” Hinata said sheepishly. “For, um. For intruding…”

“That’s not—” Kageyama stopped, trying to collect himself. He wasn’t trying to yell. “That’s not the point. You could come over at any time and I wouldn’t care, I just don’t want you getting sick!”

Hinata looked up at him, then, his eyes now blown wide in surprise. “Huh?”

“Do you remember?” he went on. “We have to be careful with ourselves, for volleyball! You can’t play if you’re hurt.”

Hinata blinked a few times but didn’t respond. Instead, he just stared up at Kageyama as if he’d just revealed the secret to getting good grades in school or something.

Then, eventually: “Do… do you mean that?”

“Mean what?”

“I can… come over whenever,” Hinata echoed, with a slow-growing smile. “And you wouldn’t mind?”

“I—”

Kageyama stopped himself again, because yeah, he totally did say that. And as his brain finally caught up with his mouth, heat ascended up his neck and across his cheeks. His gaze darted immediately to his socks, embarrassed.

“Well, you’re the only person who comes over besides when Nee-san visits, so,” he said, and then one of his hands found its way into his hair, as if moving would get rid of the sudden nervous energy that flooded through him. “It’s—it’s not like it bothers me.”

“It doesn’t?”

“N…not really, no.”

In fact, Hinata’s company was… pleasant, in a way he didn’t expect at all. He’d never been invited to other people’s houses before attending Karasuno, much less invited others to his own house. The only other time he’d gone to someone’s house other than Hinata’s was when they studied at Yachi’s place.

Was it like that for everyone? Did people just enjoy the company of their friends, or… or did it have to be a specific someone? Kageyama didn’t know. He wasn’t good at this whole people thing.

(He wrinkled his nose at the thought of inviting someone like Tsukishima over.)

“I like visiting you,” Hinata told him abruptly, and when Kageyama lifted his gaze, he saw the wide smile stretched across Hinata’s face. “It’s fun.”

“I don’t—” Kageyama shifted awkwardly, uncertain of how to take that. Was it a compliment? “I don’t really do anything special, though.”

“Well, even if we don’t do anything, it’s fun spending time with you,” Hinata said. “I like y—um, I like your company.”

If possible, Kageyama’s face grew even hotter. He looked away again, just because he wasn’t sure if he could handle looking at that bright smile of his.

“I…”

He, what? He didn’t know how to put his thoughts into words.

“Just, um, just get into dry clothes,” came out instead, turning away because—because Hinata needed privacy to change. Yeah. “Then we can, um. Do something together, maybe.”

“Do something?” Hinata said, still wondering. "And you wouldn't mind? It doesn't bother you to hang out?"

“Sh—shut up! I wouldn't—um. I wouldn't... mind."

Of course I wouldn't mind. Of course I want to do something with you.

“I did bring my Switch and our game! Nice and dry in my bag.”

“At least you’re capable of taking care of something.”

“Hey! I’m good at taking care of things,” Hinata defended. “I’m an amazing older brother, just so you know.”

Yes, I know. “Mm. Yeah.”

“Just ask Natsu!” And then, playfully: “You wouldn’t know what it’s like being an older brother because you’re the younger sibling.”

“Wha—why does that even matter, you dumbass?!”

He turned around just in time to see Hinata pull his shirt—Kageyama’s shirt—over his head, and when it fell over his chest, twice his size, he grinned up at him. His bedroom light wasn’t on but Hinata seemed to glow in the dimness anyway: a piece of the sun itself, wedged into the body of one tiny person, shining bright just for Kageyama.

And in that realization, he found his answer to his earlier question:

Nobody was like Hinata. Nobody smiled like him, and nobody’s company felt the same. Hinata Shouyou was in a league of his own, and nobody else compared.

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juuls · 1 year ago

Text

Okay so I know I just reblogged this as is, but I wanted to also add remembrance of:

One of my first boyfriends, one of the best men I knew, I found out he passed at 22 from liver disease via his Facebook page. It was one of the first I’d ever experienced, besides a local childhood friend. It was traumatic though now I suppose it is much more common.

The second… the second (third?) is one I will always wonder about. He was part of my World of Warcraft (WoW) raid team and one night while we were raiding, we hear, on Ventrilo (an earlier precursor of multi-voice chats) “oh shit, there’s a—MY car’s on fire!” and he went afk for so long he timed out of the game… but not our raid chat server. He was there for months, but never said a thing, and Vent didn’t do the ‘timed out’ thing at the time.

I always wondered what happened to him and I hope he’s okay. I truly do. But I worry. I can’t help it, you know?

Then there’s the raid member who disappeared for a couple weeks whose brother logged on for him and told us our raid member had gone to prison on account of taking the fall for his girlfriend’s fraud. 5 years. I still remember the first conversation I had with him afterwards. Amazing.

And then I think about all the fic authors who disappeared.

I used to hate it; that there were incomplete/abandoned fics. Some were still worth reading, of course, but it sucked and I felt sort of… begrudging.

But then I experienced abuse at the hands of my ex-husband, both physical and especially mentally, and a lot of it to do with my fanfic writing. I was really popular, I won’t hesitate to say! And I got all these questions of when I would continue and I’d say “soon, soon!” but it never happened. I’d start another fic, then my ptsd would hit hard, and I couldn’t do any more. Then I’d try a third fandom, and just… god.

I understand them now. I am no longer angry at those incomplete fics and their “crap resolve to finish their works”.

I thought I had almost always been empathetic, but it turns out I had a lot of other areas in my life that I needed to work on my empathy.

I sometimes feel shame. Both for not finishing my fics, and for having felt annoyance at other authors not finishing their own fics. Sometimes I wonder about those people I knew and played with and talked with who just disappeared one day…

I always take a moment when I am reminded of these people. It’s the least they deserve in this constantly-online world that doesn’t think twice about where we go/have gone in our offline hours. The least we can do for those who have died or suffered some insane abuse/trauma/brokenness, whether mental, emotional, or physical.

Or even death.

Here’s to you, the friends I have not heard from.

Shout out to all your internet friends who are gone.

Those messenger screen names that haven’t logged on in ages, some before detailed profiles were a thing on those services.

Those emails that are long since abandoned, some with domains that no longer exist.

Those online friends you knew years ago and who then helped shaped you in some way, who you just can’t FIND anymore.

Those people who once were, and hopefully still exist IRL, that seem to have no known internet life anymore.

And those who have actually passed on, and their online lives are now a memorial to them.

I miss you all. I hope life is/was kind to you, and maybe one day, we’ll somehow connect again.

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rainswept · 9 months ago

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i’m not really interactive. i like to consume content and move on. it's easier just to get my instant gratification and keep myself from being perceived in any way because it makes me nervous. but even though i don't make use of tumblr’s basic functions, in my mindless haze i still remember feelings, words, and sometimes, urls too.

when i see “rainswept” i think of lyney. i feel like that's self explanatory, via the tag for lyney x reader, i found your blog. to be honest the first few times i came across your work i scrolled past it. wasn't really interested, wanted something shorter. but one morning, i was on the hunt again and actually sat down to read a fic from your account. it took me a while to process it after, and i was very distracted for the rest of the day. weeks later, still thinking about it, the words going from my head to a pit in my stomach that nothing seemed to satisfy. and then, strangely, i found myself looking up “rainswept” more and more often to reread instead of refreshing the daily “lyney x reader”

i dont know what model of brain you have, but it's great

your writing was not the idle comfort i was used to. it hurt to read, but it hurt worse to be without. i wanted to stay with my personal image of a flirty guy who's just that. flirty. easier to digest. i couldn't.

the way you described lyney in the few works i saw took my soft hand and shoved it into a hot fire of angst. longing. fire that rises, but also falls and churns like the sea. wholly consuming in its warpath. it did not let me keep that image of lyney. in fact, the tides of rising flame tore it away from me. burned it. because there's wayy more to be said about him and how he sees the world than who he falls in love with (“curtain call” is my roman empire)

absolutely crazy idea to me at the time. wow, imagine characters having actual feelings??? wtf. to be described so viscerally, picked apart by language and left crumpled amongst the carnage of your own being on a fandom page is to be loved. i want to love the way you do

so, to me, “rainswept” is the url that introduced me to really passionate interpretations of characters i like and the beauty of prose that holds you as if it were a lingering chill on the darkest of nights. i don't think i would be nearly as interested in trying to understand characters for who they are beyond romance without your work.

“rainswept” taught me how to love a character

it could have happened eventually with someone else's blog, but it was yours. through looking at your blog and the things you repost (v fun tags, by the way), i even found others i like too. (wow, it's almost like i’m discovering how the internet works!!!) you've indirectly taught me how to appreciate nuances in writing. now, i can proudly say my taste has definitely developed away from the 2018 wattpad era

that's pretty cool. character development for me i guess? i still have a long way to go before i can understand everything in my own way, but i’m learning. today was another one of those days where your url came to mind, it's been a while. i was more than happy to follow my whim

anyways! that's all, just thought i'd share. it's my first time sending an ask (´;︵;`) i had a lot to say, and i think i still have a lot to say, but i’m sure you know the difficulties of putting feelings into words. i wanted to make sure i expressed what i could before i lost the confidence to say anything at all

thank you for sharing your writing and silly thoughts, tumblr user rainswept

P.S. i would be sad if rain actually sweeps you off your feet, which is why i also offer an umbrella—in case the weather ever becomes too harsh. be safe, dude ☂️

long post i’m putting it under a read more

what in the WORLD anon. PH:WIYbpiHWbpi,HIDDNFLWUIEBFLIHABCKUGASVCKHVSEKUHBRWLUHBGW J,H?/?/?//

GOOD LORD i think something in me literally shattered with this ask. i am SHAKing TREMBLING EVEN i cannog even get a full BREAATH in i;m LOSING MY MIND

this ask is literally the reason i made my blog. the reason i ever posted to begin with. my writing ever being seen like this was my ultimate goal. if there was anything i’ve ever wanted it was this. to move people, to change their minds, to get them to see things beyond their outward appearances — and i guess i’ve achieved that because. oh my god.

i don’t know how to do this ask justice anon. i saw it and if i was standing i think i would have fallen over. you say my prose is beautiful yet yours left me breathless. seriously, not just because it being directed towards me meant so much but also just the quality of it. i understand not wanting to present yourself publicly on tumblr, but i think you are an amazing writer and if you ever did i’d be your first follower. i would read all of the writing of yours i could get my hands on. so if you have ever had any inkling to do that, do it. you only live once (and i’d go feral for it)

speaking of writing. aside from just writing because i want to, my whole mission of sorts on here is to change how people view characters. i know i can’t alter everyone’s perception — if they think someone like lyney is just flirty snd nothing more, they’re usually going to continue thinking that — but to know that i’ve had even one person change their mind on even one character is .. astounding. not even to mention changing how someone views characters as a whole? indirectly causing someone to look deeper into them, to analyze them closer, to pick them apart like you said, to feel more when reading about them? that’s absolutely insane (positive). i will never be the same after this actually.

i write to feel, and i write to make others feel, even emotions i or they may not want to. i like digging deep into characters, into pain and sadness, because i’ve always noticed that stories that hurt stay with me longer. they make me think and think and i keep going back to them. and they may not make me feel better, but i like it anyway because, to me, what is the point of reading if it isn’t going to stick with you? what is the point of feeling if, as soon as you pry your eyes away from the pages, the emotion fades with the ink?

to know that you kept thinking about my writing, then kept coming back, and that i altered the way you view characters is. crazy to me. absolutely crazy. despite desiring it so deeply, i never thought i’d have that effect on someone else.

maybe i changed how you view characters and writing, but you continue to give me the motivation to continue doing so. and actually both are so valuable to me. to know i have moved someone enough for them to send an ask like this. i don’t know how to put into words how much this,,, affected me?? i could honestly die peacefully right now. like this is all i’ve ever wanted.

“i want to love the way you do” i think you do. i think you have. i think to send an ask like this it may take more of it. this may have not been your intent or expected outcome but this has genuinely moved me. so so much.

“rainswept taught me how to love a character” oh my GOD.

i’m so glad you did have the courage to send this, because it means more to me than you know. i will cherish this forever. i’m so honored, both that what you wanted to say to me overpowered the fear of sending an ask and the fact that you even had these words to say to me to begin with. i get what it’s like to be afraid when it comes to reaching out, but know you will always be welcome here, whether it’s heartfelt words or genuinely anything. if you do have more to say, ever, i will absolutely welcome it with open arms

it takes a lot to reach out like this, but just know this is the most valuable interaction i think i have ever had on tumblr. if this doesn’t stick with me for life i think it’ll be safe to say i’ve lost all my memories. maybe i’m being dramatic, but i want you to know the extent that this has changed me (it’s fundamentally).

i don’t know how to say thank you for this. i think this will singlehandedly carry my motivation and will to keep creating for the rest of my life. i think i will keep writing because of it (and because of you, to know you are out there and once continued to return, even if i leave tumblr, even if you no longer do). to know someone out there was genuinely moved by what i also was is the greatest motivation i could ever dream of. whoever you are, i love you.

i was going to copy and paste some things you said and comment on them in particular, but i could literally do that to the entire ask. but i hope you know i will likely continue to reread every single word of this ask over and over until i can recite it because oh my god i will be thinking about this for the rest of my life

“curtain call is my roman empire” anon THIS is my roman empire 😭

this is so so all over the place because it made me so emotional LMAO i am so sorry. i don’t know how to summarize all i want to say, or go over everything you have said, but just know that i will keep every single word of this close to my heart and cherish it like i probably never have anything else.

thank you for everything. including the umbrella — rain doesn’t usually sweep me off my feet, but this ask did so i’ll use it for that instead.

#—crow’s nest.#☂️#the model of brain i have is. neurodivergent #pls anon this is literally going to plague my mind for the rest of my life #but like. in a good way #good lord #i’mgoing to throw up (positive)#watch me reblog this 5 times to add on to it GODDDDDDLUDWBHKGASKHIB #this made me want to write lyney stuff again ohmymgod

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castle-dominion · 2 years ago

Text

c3x10 last call

Catch a cold but probably also a dead body Oh Hun your line would snap. Maybe you can dislodge this fellow but then he’d float

Aw he’s writing! Lol like a glove. Ooh old friendship! RC: Incredible hulk?? That’s me when I’m writing too HOLY CRAP THIS GAL IS CUTE Look at gracie I love her sm She’s polite. Thanks again for letting me crash with you AC: Everything the same.. almost

Me, an emo, while sitting beside my mom: I mean like I’m trans now

KB: [my memories from grade school are] mostly orthodontic KB: The only dazzling thing was how much my parents paid for it

RC: Then we’d better close the beaches

RC: This is the most celebrated body depository this side of the jersey wetlands! RC: Case closed! *high fives a random pig*

KR: & somehow still employed as one

He’s like me! When I first tried changing my name I wouldn’t register that ppl were calling me. It was an awkward week of day school. Then I didn’t change my name for like another year ESPOSITO JUST CLOTHESLINED THAT GUY! Wait you guys are just cops? Ok but ryan ALREADY said that. Also continuity error, esposito had already taken out his gun & then they show him doing it again & as always acab. It freaks me out the way they are so calavier with their guns.

25 grande & you still need to go to work? Doesn’t sound like very little to me. sigfigs/sigdigs, it’s six figures, that’s at least 100k (100 000) a year. A quarter of a year’s worth of work? Just to pay back the union card?

Castle said Veyze, not vaze not veyse.

I mean if he thought he could handle it & heal himself up, why go to the hospital? I’ve given myself stitches, I’ve given myself autosurgery.

Oh! Waste management!

JE: Back in 1977 he spent 10 years in prison for assault & racketeering RC: & what? JE: Racketeering. RC: *bats eyelashes* JE: & shaking down businesses where he ran his (mumbles) bookmaking RC: His what? JE: >:( (ryan looks between them) RC: So an ex-gambler dumps his life savings on an ex-con ex-bookmaker & ends up ex-ed out! KB: Ended up paying for it with his life RC: I think I just said that (...not clipping)

Must be all them pilat’es classes.

RC: Ooh hoo hoo hoo, this guy is gold. Hayes: If you don’t believe me why don’t you ask-... Donny. Is this about Donny?

Leo the Legend. He was the world’s best bartender since the days when gay meant happy RC: !!! (knows the name)

(good stuff to clip, but I won’t.)

Ooh this is going to introduce the old haunt isn’t it! I’m so excited, I’ve seen mentions of this online in fandom spaces! Sitting in a silver shaker behind the bar. I can see why castle likes this guy

RC: Don’t tell me you’ve never been there, all the great writers drank there! KR: We’re cops, we go to cop bars (ew)

TJ? (tj mcChucklenuts)

KB: So Castle, can I buy you a drink? RC: Why detective Beckett, I thought you’d never ask.

Wow castle hasn’t been here since alexis was born??? RC: I wrote most of my first novel in those booths KB: Well that explains a lot RC: It sold over three million copies KB: No I meant why you’re so excited This is beautiful Castle is so right about this history thing & is beckett putting on lip gloss? KB: I’m not gonna get much out of Brian looking like a cop! RC: Then you might want to undo one more of those buttons KB: >:| KB: *undoes button anyway*

Ooh I love the music!!! THE PIANIST REMEMBERS CASTLE’S THEME? (Heck yes eddie!) Ooh he’s such a baby! KB: Oh my goodness castle you were so cute back then! RC: Back then? KB: *looks at him* RC: KB: *turns around & goes to the bar*

My restaurant worker senses are tingling

Kinda cute, “any old friend of donny’s is a new friend of mine” EW GIRL STEALING A CHERRY WHERE HAS THAT THING BEEN Grenadine?

& Alexis was born before ‘98 for sure lol, so castle hasn’t ever heard of the basement Oh now that entrance is sexy af. Fireman carry? Don’t ruin my story with your logic! They didn’t remove the bullet they painted over it? Weird. She also needs to carry an evidence knife with her. Like Murdoch. Brian looks so afraid Poor dishwasher gal. Donny! Defending your dishwashers! Heck yeah! 86ed for life! Donny 86d pete for life but pete 86d donny

What r u writing there castle? Oh bar names. Love em all. No bro, let him buy the bar. Maybe the manager is planning on buying it but can’t afford it, you buy it & keep the manager in their position, boom, no work for you, manager is basically the owner. Or, well, it depends on the deal you make.

Oof, what time of day is it??? Poor esposito & ryan... (Inconsistency in the holding or no? Ryan could have dropped his arm, explaining why Pete fell & ryan’s arm was down in the next shot.)

UwU a wee drawbridge to let you in!

KR: Congratulations pete! You’re our drunkest murder suspect all year. & that includes St Patrick’s day. Pete: What did I win? JE: That depends on you Pete. Pete: You know my name too? & did you just say murder? Ew I hate this guy. He’s funny but I’m not willing to laugh. What was wrong with Ryan’s audio there?

Jamie? Is that his name? He did not have a mic on him specifically so his audio was light when he said “here you go detective”

Yeah repairs to the bar was my question too. Operating on a loss & making repairs? Guy’s gotta look at his pie chart. & with the skimming, that ain’t good. Oh btw I haven’t mentioned it yet but look at ryan’s cute sweatervest. I forgot he was a dockworker. No wonder the business is failing.

-------castle why r u touching it Wow accent Castle being cool & smart! Castle’s face. Wait hold on b’y don’t joke about being willing to kill for a bottle of scotch, you know threats like this get you in trouble for murder. wait was Leo actually related to Donny?

Ah internet guy. Speedywok my a...ss.. & you’re not even speedywok Magoo is a neat name Lol JP recognized the audio as Halo Reach. I also recognized it but I couldn’t place it. But the only videogame I played enough to recognize the audio would indeed be halo reach. Reach was great! I loved to play gruntpocalypse with my brother ROOT BEER? Ok I’m with rick on this. Do what you want AFTER you taste it for real. At least he recycles... RC: Yeah well keep mixing root beer with fine scotch & that might change.

Castle XD

I love mixing drinks. If I was smarter I’d love to do that. Then again I’m already in line cooking I’m sure if I got proserve it would be just fine. Rick’s café americain! I loved casablanca!! AC: I need a drink RC: AC: H₂O, dirty. Me: Water & olive juice, you got it. RC: Tap water, you got it Wow this goth girl is kind of acting like a dick MR: You’re tall, sophisticated, you have a Glam Gram, &... *looks at rick making a face* him, & a boyfriend Hun she was probably too embarassed to say that she made the gloves herself. You’re the kind of girl to go shopping, she’s the kind of goth to make her own stuff. (Mall goth used to be an insult, like e-boys & e-girls, more into the aesthetic than the music, buying things instead of being part of the subculture.) Castle is the best, making his kid a virgin mojito Here’s lookin at you kid!

“We were just tucked in with my laptop”????

KB: It was late. She was tired. I can relate.

Oh this show just keeps getting hotter BLAM said the lady XD Castle is being honestly rly cool rn. WHERE’D THEY GET THE LAMP Cramped makes for romance RC: There’s alligators down here?

I bet it’s literally just powered with an extension cord RC: Come on I’m not that desperate RC: *makes a darn-it face*

Who brought a glowstick down here? & why? (they should have a clew) Look up, maybe there’s a trapdoor

Ooh Caskett look great, really great. Woah esposito’s looking fancy Woah & ryan too. Monty is meh tbh.

I’d like to go ghost hunting at a bricked up subway... Too bad they’re turning the haunted hospital into a condo & they recently boarded up the muder-arson-house across the street. (castle’s shirt is halfway shiny, i love it)

Lmao all the cops at the auction Why is he so anxious tho? (esposito’s badge on a chain over his tie,,, ugly no offense)

JE: Yo :) we figured out how he disappeared on you-- RC: Secret passageway! JE: :| Basically Ooh look at Ryan in his sweater he’s so cute RC: Yes but who is to say that today’s evidence can’t be tomorrow’s nightcap? RM: That could be me

(Wow alexis brought the goth friend to the pigstye?) (Btw those two need to kiss) She’s so emo I love her. AC: Gram’s waiting downstairs. RC: Thanks for the warning. KB: Wow I remember that phase, Me: Girl you did NOT have an emo phase. That’s what you implied in the vampire episode in season two. You didn’t a goth phase hun.

RM: I just got off the phone with the DA. KR: *nodding in the back* RM: But she says that if you make a generous donation to the widows & orphans fund, you can have one of Beau James’ best for your very own. JE: *Watching from right beside Ryan* RM: This is early christmas babey! RC: *hands over mouth* *reaches out to take but hesitates* RC, voice quavering: May I? I was not expecting this JE: Are you crying? RC: Yes. idk what to say KB: Try “let me get my chequebook” RC: But I will only accept this if you all share it with me RM, already holding out a glass: Twist my arm RC: No not here, we will toast to Donny at The Old Haunt. KR: Yeah what happens to that place? JE: It’ll go back to the bank, TJ mcChucklenuts will get another shot at it RC, caressing the bottle: Oh I wouldn’t worry about the old haunt KB: You bought it didn’t you RC: So you joining us? KB: You know I’d love to... it’s late & I’ve got paperwork RC: ??? It’s 9:00 on a saturday!!? JE: It’s nine-fifteen actually RC: “The regular crowd shuffles in” (in-key with himself) JE, KR, & RM smile & laugh KR, not in the same key as castle: “There’s an old man sitting next to me” (but he is in key with himself) RM & JE not in the same key as KR: “Making love to his tonic & gin” (& not in the same key as each other either) RC: *stares at beckett* :D Everyone else: *stares at beckett* :D KB, changing the key yet again: “He said son can you play me a memory? I’m not really sure how it goes” KB & RC, in the same key: “but it’s sad & it’s sweet” (getting out of key) “& I knew it complete, when I wore a younger man’s clothes” All of them put their arms around one another as if they are those middle school girls in the hallways: “Sing us a song you’re the piano man” (all off key from one another) “Sing us a song tonight” (they start to come together) “well we’re all in the mood for a melody” (I can’t tell if it’s harmony or off-key at this point) “& you’ve got us feeling alright” (as their voices fade, your brain fills in the gaps & you hear it as it is supposed to sound, they all sound in-key & happy)

(A lot of them can sing really well but they just needed this to be a movie rather than TV where it’s a week to make an episode. Babe I wish they were able to arrange that better. Good voices, not so good ears. They just maybe needed a tuning whistle. I want to like that scene but it hurts my ears.)

Good episode otherwise tho

#fanfic ideas #castle 3x10 #castle 3x10 spoilers #castle 3x10 quote #they are all happy #the old haunt episode

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verycharismaticdragon · 2 years ago

Note

What I’m about to write out may only be somewhat relevant, but I think it’s a perspective that’s worth bringing into the discussion.

So, after reading the first few lines of the ask, before anon went into more detail, I found myself thinking — wow, did things really change so much? Because when I first came to this fandom, about 2.5 years ago I think, the situation was almost the complete opposite.

First of all, the majority of fans were SQQ mains. He was almost everyone’s most specialest blorbo. (A complete aside, but it was at this time that I came to realize that I dislike the “ethereal beauty SQQ” headcanon, lol.) (The ‘almost’ here refers to moshang onlys, btw. Literally there were two types of fans, the moshangs and the SQQ enjoyers.)

Meanwhile, liking Binghe was… a controversial opinion to say the least. Even among people who purportedly shipped bingqiu. There were those who loved SQQ to bits, but only sort of tolerated Binghe because SQQ chose him. And then there were those who straight up hated post-Abyss Binghe, and would write canon divergences where their stated goal was “to make LBH more palatable”. (And that’s not to mention that one specific fic where the author clearly longed to write jiuyuan but was for some reason writing bingqiu, which… look, I don’t know what their problem was, but that fic gave me some new trust issues, okay.)

With this being the situation in bingqiu circles, you can imagine it was magnitudes worse when it came to ppl shipping SQQ with other characters. Like, Binghe was hated. Binghe was straight up despised in those parts of the fandom. (I remember blocking the liushen tag because it felt like if I had to see one more “LQG is so pure and loyal and morally correct unlike that awful monster LBH” I would snap and become a person I wouldn’t be proud of. I still have it blocked just in case those takes are still happening there tbh; I don’t want to know.)

With this being my context, I wonder if at least some of the things anon is seeing (not all of them obv, and to different degrees each) are actually just echoes of that previous state of fandom, or reactions to its trends.

I know my personal loud enjoyment of Binghe is a direct result of seeing people undeservedly hate him so many times; I’m pretty sure that’s true for a number of people who are hyping him up rn. And though “stinky neet loser SQQ” is an extreme version that I haven’t seen and preemptively don’t like, I suspect it may have begun as a pushback against “ethereal wifebeam angel SQQ that everyone lusts after because he is just that beautiful”. Even the focus on LQG in liushen that anon mentions is, I think, pretty new — because before I blocked the tag, LQG was absolutely SQQ’s accessory in most of the content I saw. Like I swear LQG had two qualities total in most of those fics and those were “he’s loyal” and “he’s not that (insert negative buzzword of the week) LBH”. If they are finally exploring LQG’s character, good for them, or whatever.

And just, in general: people who genuinely enjoy SQQ may have been doing so quietly because for a while (and until very recently) liking him was… I dunno, a default state almost. Everyone loved SQQ, so what was the point of talking about it?

Funnily enough, that SJ vs SY discourse actually made people actively post about how much they adore SY!SQQ again, when they haven’t done so in a while.

And I’m desperately curious if we are going to have the same rising wave of aggressive appreciation for him in response, like what happened with Binghe before.

hi! do you ever feel like the bingqiu fandom is binghe biased? like a lot of the time its giving.. “wow binghe is our little precious bun who deserves the world and more! ..oh and stinky neet loser sqq is so blessed to have him lul” it feels unfair towards sqq :( it makes me sad hes no ones fave but thats okay like whatever right? but even when its bingqiu hes treated like an afterthought. like we have binghe fans criticising sqq for not doing more, sj fans are frankly delusional, sqh fans think hes “too mean” to their precious hamster, liushen fans only like him bc hes a good hole/dick for lqg (obligatory “not all men” lol) idk i only follow a handful of svsss twt accs because no one seems to like him, he feels either tolerated or treated as a gag character lol 🥹

i just dislike a lot of fanon bingqiu i think? i read all the books before hopping on twitter and i see some absolute rancid takes on there like the woobification of Shaun(tm) qinghua and jiumei.. which is easy enough to avoid tbf so whatever floats their boat idc. but when i follow bingqiu accs, it feels like OC x OC rather than ~bingqiu~ if that makes sense? like i LOVE the manipulative crybaby domtop x flustered thin face subby pillow princess they have going on!! and fanon bingqiu is just.. not it? and obv id never send hate or anything (i just block and keep it moving) but it makes it kinda sucky when the fandom is already teeny tiny and a large chunk of the fandom isnt what i envisioned/expected i guess which is so odd! when they essentially erase canon!! if it’s like some queerbaity ship or whatever, people can characterise them however they want but its like CANON how they act/are in bed/etc and its all taken away!!! idk im probably just whining sorry 😭

(i included all my thoughts here sorry for the spam!!)

hey, thanks for stopping by!! I definitely know what you mean with regards to SQQ, but I will assure you that there are very much still plenty of dedicated "sqq mains" out there. My sphere of influence on twitter is heavily biased toward people for whom sqq is their favourite character, so maybe I'm not getting a representative sample of the fandom overall, but he's definitely a very well loved character and has more than his fair share of people who do him justice in their writing and for whom he's their primary blorbo!! I remember posting this on reddit a while back and more than half of the responses (though admittedly a small sample size) had him as their fave. So, I don't think he's without appreciation!

But with that said, I do get where you’re coming from. I’m not gonna talk about readers who take his actions in bad faith and actively dislike him (HOW??), but as you’ve said, even among people who do like him, we don’t always understand him as well as we could. Most fans do get on some level that he’s an unreliable narrator, but it’s still very common for people to take him at face value and completely miss his depth. He’s a funny little guy with amusing narration, but he’s also kind and selfless, and he’s also smart and witty, and obnoxious and annoying, and frankly pretty insensitive, and deeply, deeply traumatised—and a million other things! He has layers.

I think all popular characters in fandom will inevitably start getting boiled down to a few key traits. And as somebody who’s been writing fic for 15 years, it’s really hard not to let your own biases colour your portrayal? I absolutely do it with SQQ!! I focus on his kinder, warmer aspects and downplay his flaws, I’ll readily admit that. We all get drawn to a favourite character for a certain trait, and that trait becomes the grit around which our interpretations form. If you’re somebody that likes silly characters, you’re going to write SQQ and dial his silliness up to eleven. If you like kind characters, you’ll write SQQ with emphasis on his kindness. None of these traits are OOC in and of themselves, but if you start to only read fanfic and don’t revisit the source material, you can get lost in what’s popular and forget all the depth that actually made them interesting in the first place. And once you’ve grown attached to a particular version of the characters in your head, it can be really hard to let go of it. I don’t really know where I’m going with this, but I'll add that I think protagonists are just particularly prone to this happening because they're usually the one the audience relates to most.

Idk if any of that really addresses the stuff you were talking about. You mentioned dom top Binghe/pillow princess sqq and to be honest I’m kind of reluctant to talk about this in depth because I’ve received negative comments in the past for supposedly being anti-bottom Binghe, when all I’ve ever said on this matter is that I think it’s a bit weird to insist that “I’m scared of hurting you so I might as well let you do it” is proof that Binghe is canonically a bottom. The fact that someone found that statement so threatening to their view of the characters that they would go to my ao3 page, click on the first fic they saw that happened to feature bottom SQQ and leave their holier-than-thou anonymous opinion there is just bizarre to me.

To be honest tho, it tends to be Binghe characterisation that puts me off moreso than Shen Qingqiu. The only SQQ characterisation that truly bothers me is when people write him as willing to hurt Binghe, or willing to do anything with underage Binghe, but there is a LOT of Binghe stuff that I’m sensitive too. Idk if you read this thread of mine but like, even my friends whom I love make “Binghe stalking/imprisoning/"atticwifing" SQQ” jokes and these bother me way more than any random stranger saying SQQ would get off on spanking Binghe.

And like, it’s kind of hard because objectively, Binghe is a very dark character, so it doesn't feel particularly OOC to say he would do those things, but it's about framing. It bothers me when the emphasis is on how fucked up he is and not how hard he's trying, because it implies a level of futility that I just don’t think is there in canon. To me the beauty of him is in how much doing right by SQQ doesn't come naturally to him, but he ultimately decides to do it anyway because he wants SQQ to be happy. (I feel it needs to be said that I don't mean this in a judgy "if you write dark Binghe you don't understand him and are a bad person" way. Just that I myself can't handle that, and I strongly disagree if you think it's where Bingqiu's relationship is headed).

but idk, I've found my corner and I'm very happy here. I actually don't read fic as often as you'd think, mostly because I am sooooo picky, so I totally get where you're coming from :) but the fandom is still decently sized and very diverse, so there are always going to be at least a few people who share your feelings, if you can find them!

#svsss #i dunno how skewed my perception of svsss fandom historical events is because it couldve been that i was just unlucky to run into lots of #rude ppl and discourse back then but seriously like half the things anon is describing ive seen the complete opposite bad takes of #am i being annoying by jumping into this conversation or is it just social anxiety speaking?.. gonna hit send and stop overthinking this.

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