#wow not the tags turning into a therapy session

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Light on the Darkside - Chapter Fourteen.

Huge love to my little audience for your continued reads, reviews and reblogs. You're so lovely <3

Previous chapters - One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed.

Words - 3,794

Warnings - 18+ throughout. Topics cover depression, suicide and eating disorders. Minors DNI!

After a thirty-five-minute train journey from Nuneaton to Leamington Spa, followed by a half-hour bus ride, Ella found herself walking through the picturesque village of Moreton Morrell in the heart of the Warwickshire countryside.  

It was the first time in weeks that she’d spent any time away from James, apart from a few job interviews she’d attended, plus their respective therapy sessions, all but moving in with him completely. He hadn’t officially asked her, but welcomed it greatly, more of her belongings arriving at the flat over the eight weeks they’d been reunited, both blissful in the fledgling stages of their relationship, now able to flourish in the real world.   

That particular morning, she was on her way to visit another person she had met while at the same place she’d found her love, turning off Duffus Hill onto a small cul-de-sac, arriving at the second cottage along and rapping the heavy iron door knocker a couple of times.  

“You’re here!” 

Stepping in, she was pulled into a huge hug by Andrea, the young women thrilled to see one another again. “Aww, look at you! You look amazing, Ella!” 

“Thanks! As do you. Wow, your hair!”  

Andrea had added colour to her natural mane of fiery auburn, making the hue even more intense. “I was so glad to sit in a salon chair again and get it fixed!” Ella could identify. Walking into the abode, she was struck by how sumptuously cosy it was, the fire lit to keep the October chill at bay, a large, grandfather clock with its heavy pendulum swinging back and forth in the corner, and an album by Portishead playing softly.  

“Tea?” 

“Please, that’d be mint. I could murder a cup!” Ella confirmed, hanging up her coat on the rack and sliding her boots off. “It’s getting so cold out there. I think we’re in for a shitting horrible winter, innit.” 

Her friend raised an eyebrow. “Now, who’s dulcet tones do what you’ve just said remind me of?” she pondered, Ella shielding her face with her hand momentarily, laughing. “How is he?” 

“He’s really, really good,” she confirmed, Andrea moving into the beautiful little kitchen and clicking the kettle on. “He’s at therapy today over in Birmingham, still sees the same guy who was the head clinician at the unit he transferred to as a private patient.” 

Andrea placed some teabags into the pot before pulling two large mugs from the cupboard. “That surprises me, I have to say. I always had James down as the type to walk away from it all and give the ole’ line of ‘suck my fucking dick’ to any further therapy once he was released. I’m glad he’s benefitting from it.” 

How well she knew him. “I did too for a while, but being at the place in Edgbaston really changed his mind about it all. His therapist sounds lovely, really listens to him and guides him over what he needs to do. He didn’t respond well to Dr. Beaumont’s methods of like, pointing you in the general direction and letting you figure it out for yourself.” 

Her eyes widened a fraction. “Hmm. She was very allusive like that, wasn’t she?” Noticing Ella pull her cigarettes out, she pointed at the back door, taking one from her with thanks. “She definitely wasn’t for everyone.” 

For Andrea, though, she’d been wonderful in connecting the dots between a traumatic event and her subsequent sex addiction issues, the girls discussing it after smoking their cigarettes, moving to the big, comfortable leather Chesterfield in the lounge.  

“I think the further I understand that it was less about sex and desire itself and more thriving on the attention from men and the excitement of sleeping around, the more it’s helped me reconcile the trauma that sparked it,” she explained, sipping her tea as she took a biscuit from the tin between them. It was lovely to witness Ella taking one without prompting, she noted. “I didn’t deal with it all, when it happened. Shoved it away. It was too painful.” 

“Sweetie,” Ella cooed, reached to stroke her cheek affectionately. “Of course, it was. It was no age, losing your parents at twenty-one. That’s like, one of the worst things I can imagine.” 

Indeed, the death of her mum and dad three years before had turned Andrea’s entire life upside down. Being an only child, it had been made even more difficult. Of course, she’d had family rallying around to help her, her uncles and aunties making sure she was okay regularly. Being alone in the cottage, though, she had soon come to realise that she truly wasn’t, sparking her promiscuous and often dangerous behaviour, leading to a breakdown and subsequent sectioning.  

It was too much for any twenty-four-year-old woman to deal with, losing her parents to a fatal car crash, being catapulted into a life of sole financial comfort, since they were both very well off, but having nobody around all the time to either enjoy it with – or more pertinently – keep a watchful eye on her.  

Life after treatment, she was now very glad to say, was much, much improved. 

“So, how’s that sexy mate of James’s, then? Steve, isn’t it?” she asked, smiling with a little embarrassment. “I can’t believe I straddled the man and stuck my tongue down his throat. The shame!” 

Ella snorted softly with a smirk. “Steve wouldn’t have cared at all, trust me. Quite the opposite!” 

“Oh, I know. I could tell that by how he kissed me back,” she revealed, her cringe fading a little. “He was a very good kisser, so that makes the embarrassment that I couldn’t dial my compulsions back a little less mortifying!” 

“As for how he is, he’s fine. Keeps asking for your number,” Ella revealed, watching Andrea rub a hand down her face. “Sorry, shouldn’t I have mentioned that?” 

“No, you’re fine, sweet. It’s tricky because I fancy him, but yeah, that time I briefly met him he was nothing more than a compulsion trigger, so I don’t know. He’s a young, sexy as fuck guy. He likely won’t want to get wrapped up in my mess that I can’t really casually date somebody and enjoy carefree sex, lest triggering my issues. I sort of get the impression that’s what he’s about.” 

Oh, how right she was. “Yeah, he’s a man whore, Ands. Big time. I mean like, he’s fucking lovely, such a laugh and totally cool, but he shags around a lot.” Hester, a girl called Jennie, another she didn’t know the name of, someone called Leonie, the man had his rotation in place.  

“Bollocks,” she huffed, Ella spraying a mouthful of biscuit crumbs. “I guess I’ll settle for just looking at him and how bloody pretty he is when I finally come to see you up your way.” 

All talk of the male species was left there, the friends instead catching up with one another’s lives on the outside. Andrea revealed she’d gotten herself a part-time job at the local pub, The Black Horse, although truly she didn’t need to work with a fully paid off mortgage and all she had in savings gathering a very liveable amount in interest. 

 Still, what she wouldn’t give for her parents returned to her instead. She still cursed that the drunk driver who’d collided head on with their car had survived, albeit in a vegetative state. Perhaps that was the more fitting punishment, though. While they talked, Ella also shared a few of her plans, too, like returning to college.  

“I like, kind of think it makes me a fraud, though, wanting to strive for a career in helping others when I know I’m not one hundred percent recovered yet,” she began, sipping on a fresh cup of tea. She’d been tentatively considering it, perhaps studying for a psychology degree, wanting to specialise and help patients with eating disorders.  

Sighing, she continued. “We went out for a curry not long after James and I reconnected, and it sent me into a spiral. It was pants, mate, sitting there crying outside because I couldn’t cope with eating in an unfamiliar place. Or choosing a food I wouldn’t normally have had.” 

Andrea was thoughtful for a few moments before replying. “Did you ever think that the studies could actually help you more in your recovery? It might give you a greater insight, learning from the other side of the coin, as it were.” 

She hadn’t, it had to be said. After arriving home that evening, she discussed it more with James while she cooked chicken, him supervising the rice as she was – by her own admission – bleedin' useless with it. 

“Andrea is right,” he spoke, jumping up to sit on the counter. “You probably would get a new perspective over it. As for thinking that makes you a fraud and all of that, nah babe. Look at it this way, before your degree, you need to take your A levels first, so that’s two years. All being well, you’ll have finished that degree by twenty-eight, so that’s just over five years into your recovery, innit. You’ll be way more secure in yourself by then, won’t you?” 

“Mm,” she hummed, sighing. “I hate that my illness took such a chunk of my life, time when I should have been making these decisions and studying. I would have been a year away from completion of a degree, if I hadn’t. I messed up big time.” 

“Oi, less of that. That’s my girlfriend you’re badmouthing, dickhead,” he frowned, stretching his legs out to ensnare her, pulling her back into a full body hug. “If you hadn’t gotten ill, then you wouldn’t have decided that this was what you wanted to do, would you? Or met me. Obviously, I’m the more important of the two there.”  

His joke had her laughing, squeezing him tight and kissing his chest. “Of course, baby.” Reaching for her cider, she took a swig, lifting her head to give him a little nibble beneath his jaw before moving back to the cooker. “How was therapy, then?” 

“Yeah, pretty good, you know. We discussed my ongoing anger issues today. Michael made a good suggestion over what I could do to stop it, my desire to batter people who piss me off at the drop of a hat.”  

He’d been doing very well there, up until a week ago while at a club with Ella and a few others. Now much more confident in her body, she had been up on a podium dancing, wearing only a small outfit of hotpants and a cropped top, attracting a lot of male attention. Looking was fine, but when some random bloke had taken it upon himself to climb the side of the podium and make a grab for her, well. He’d met a very irate James, dragging him down by his jeans, his fist meeting his face at speed.  

“What did he suggest?” she asked, cracking fresh pepper over the chicken and turning each butterflied breast, moving to the chopping board to prep the vegetables to go into the wok.  

“Kickboxing. He said it would give me both an outlet for rage, and discipline over when to exert that rage and all that. Think I’m gonna give it a go, innit.” 

She widened her eyes. “War does not need to be any more deadly than he already is!” Her laughter filled the room, even more so at her boyfriend’s entertained smirk. “I think it’s a good idea, really. He seems to have a lot of those, Michael.” 

“Yeah, he’s a top grade bloke. Really fucking sound. Always has an answer for all my stuff, too. So what else is new with Andrea, then?” 

“Oh, the redheaded goddess!” Steve called from the armchair, beginning to grin. “Is she ready for me to give her one hell of a good seeing to yet?” 

“Calm your dick down,” Ella warned, pointing at him with a spatula, “you’ll do her recovery no bleedin’ good.”  

“We’re gonna have to put him in restraints when she comes up for your birthday,  innit?” James spoke, pulling a fresh beer from the fridge.  

Steve turned, his grin wide. “Nah, don’t you threaten me with a good time, Jim!”  

Once dinner had been eaten, a film watched and Steve declaring he was ‘off to play with Leonie for the night’ before leaving the flat, it wasn’t long before they decided to have a good time of their own.  

“Mmm, shit. I don’t even know how the hell you can move your tongue so quickly, but I... ahhh! I’m not complaining!” she moaned, feeling him smile against her as she straddled his head, James happily lying there with her riding his mouth.  

It burned incandescent through her, like a hail of glimmers creeping slow, his hands clutching the rounds of her bum, moving every so often to lay a hard smack. She’d never had a man spank her before, but god, how she enjoyed it when James did. He wasn’t gentle with it. At all.  

While his hands showed no mercy, his tongue slowed, dragging flat and slow through her folds, circling over her clit and repeating the action again. Her thighs shook from the potency of each lick, shuddered breaths leaving her mouth as she panted hard, her gaze falling to see him open his eyes and wink at her.  

Wrapping her clit in a firm suck, the sensation rooted itself in her, sharp-toothed and edging on a little too much, her hips swaying against his mouth. The pleasure dug deep into her marrow as she cried out, the release snapping through her, Ella immediately moving to gratify him by sheathing his cock within her still fluttering walls.  

He weighed heavy in the depths of her, the feeling of her soaking him only gratified further by the prickle of teeth crushing his nipple, her nails grazing like sensual daggers down his sides. She pulled heaven from the very depths of his hell every time he was inside her, not afraid to be as rough with him as he liked her to be, her hand grasping his neck, nails digging in as she kissed him with stormy lust.  

She sucked his tongue, his mouth then gliding to rain soft bites over her neck, grasping her bum and fucking up into her powerfully, the tempo remaining slow burning like napalm. Sitting back up again, his cock pressed firmly as she rotated her hips, hitting her front wall, lightning rolling over her spine, clawing at the black and grey brandings of his upper arms as he reached to squeeze her breasts.  

God, how she loved him, thrived on the thrill of having sex with him, James the sole reignition to her desires as soon as she’d started to feel better. The way he looked at her too, it made her feel incredible about herself, her body confidence restored. She couldn’t thank him enough for having such a part in returning that to her. There were wobbles on occasion, but they were becoming fewer and further between. 

Watching as she fucked him, she’d never seen a sight as sexy, her tall, muscular, tattooed man with his storm grey eyes. He was so darkly alluring, so stunningly sexy, James’s thoughts over her extremely similar. He loved that she finally saw what he did in her, and enjoyed her body as much as he did for the most part. 

The way she moved on top of him had him lost to the sublimity of it, no girl before her doing quite such a thorough job where he’d be content to remain on his back for the duration. It was hypnotic, a rhythmic spell of sexual energy unlike anything he’d ever experienced, her body rolling and undulating like she was made of liquid. Quite simply, he’d never been ridden like that in his whole life. She absolutely blew his mind, this beautiful young woman who he fallen so deeply in love with.  

The pace became more urgent and frenzied, voracity replacing the slower, sumptuous enjoyment that had prevailed thus far, Ella grinding down on him eagerly as he moved beneath her with more purpose, both of them driving deeper moans from one another.   

Each keen undulation caused him to feel sparks flickering his spine, while she had her own bliss pulsing softly, increasing more the faster she moved, fervidly chasing her release as she began to rub her clit, her other hand flexing at his chest, nails digging in.  

A string of panted expletives left her mouth as she felt herself reach boiling point, bubbling over and taking him with her to a gloriously sweet finish, intensity throbbing hard and leaving them both a breathless, shuddering wreck.   

With Ella now taking the contraceptive pill, there was no longer a need to move immediately to dispose of a condom, James pulling her down against his chest, stroking her back as he kissed her deeply. Floaty light little aftershocks skipped over her nerves as her release ebbed away slowly, feeling his cock twitching within the hug of her walls.  

Sleepiness began to settle over her, Ella finally moving to her side of the bed and pulling the duvet and thick, faux fur blanket over them, blocking out the November chill from their bare flesh as he curled around her.  

“Night, babe.” Dropping a kiss upon her shoulder, his arm tightened around her as his head sank into the pillows beneath it. “Love you.” 

“Love you too, my sexy church burner.”  

Yes, it still made him laugh.  

The following morning, Ella rose first, pulling on one of James’s long-sleeved t shirts (this one depicting the logo for the band Venom, who she was becoming a little partial to) her big, slouchy socks as well as her pyjama bottoms, shivering a little as she waited for the heating to come on while making herself a tea.  

Looking over into the lounge area, she noticed a familiar sight, a blanket swathed Snedders lying asleep on the sofa. He had his own key, so it wasn’t a surprise to sometimes find him there of a morning unexpectedly. She guessed there’d be a story to accompany his presence, probably involving his on/off girlfriend, the infamous Kerry. Ella didn’t like her at all, finding her to be very difficult to get along with.  

Making her tea, she moved to the armchair, placing her mug down on the much neater coffee table. In lieu of being able to offer anything towards the rent (which James had dismissively snorted at the suggestion of anyway) she’d taken it upon herself to keep the dwelling tidier and cleaner, padding to the corner where the answering machine light flashed.  

Turning the volume down low so as not to wake Snedders, she pressed play, being informed of three new messages.  

“Hi sis! I need to meet you at half four this afternoon so don’t get there too early. My shifts, the way they’re moving them around, fucks sake! I know it’s only half an hour, but yeah. See you later!”  

Jane, a welcome message.  

“James, it’s only me. Dad and I would love to see you. Are you free to come to lunch at ours next Saturday? Let me know, love.” 

Carole, perhaps not so welcome, depending on her mood. She’d sounded jovial enough, though.  

“Hello, message for Ella Greenhall. This is Sharon calling from Bloomin’ Lovely about your interview. I’m pleased to say we’ve chosen you for the position, if you could call me back at the shop as soon as possible, that would be lovely. Tentatively, I’d like you to start next Monday. Looking forward to hearing from you soon!” 

“Oh my god!” she squeaked, jumping up and down as quietly as she could, clasping her hands over her mouth. “I bleedin’ got it!!”  

Out of all the jobs she’d recently been applying for, the position at the florist just off the high street there in Nuneaton was the one she’d coveted most, Sharon, the owner making her feel so welcome when she’d arrived, the atmosphere so warm and lovely. It was only a part-time position, but with her wanting to start at college again it was perfect for her, Ella able to work in the college hours around her new job.  

When James got up around an hour later, her news brought him booming delight, much less concerned with waking up the sleeping heap of ginger dreadlocks on the sofa than she was. 

“Babe, that’s top grade! I’m so fucking proud of you!” he exclaimed, swinging her around in his arms, a grunt coming from the sofa. 

“Aw, ya got a job, Ells?” Snedders grumbled, emerging from within the swathe of the large blanket. “Nice one, little mate.”  

“Cheers, Sneds,” she chimed, turning then to her boyfriend after he put her down once more. “Also, your mum left a message. Asked if you were free for lunch next Saturday.” 

“Hmm,” he hummed, his jaw setting slightly. “Since that’s your birthday, I’m saying no. Even if it wasn’t, I’d still be saying no.” 

“Well, we’re not doing anything until the evening, are we?” 

He smirked, side eyeing her with raised eyebrows. “I had planned to bounce you on my dick for most of the afternoon.” Pausing, he began to laugh at the lascivious look she returned. “Hold on, did she say anything about you going, too?” 

“Not specifically,” she shrugged, reaching for her cigarettes.  

That was about right for Carole. She knew all about Ella, too, James already having introduced her to his dad, Alan thinking she was ‘absolutely bloody lovely, kidda’ as the man himself had worded it. “Then I definitely ain’t going.”  

“Maybe she meant me too, but just didn’t say it?” she suggested, watching his lips tightening. Perhaps it was best to leave it there, she thought, knowing well now the clear signs of him becoming agitated. “Then again like, maybe she didn’t. You’re not obliged to call her back if you don’t want to, baby.” 

He relaxed then, slipping an arm around her. “Good, because I’m not.”  

As it turned out, though, the lack of return phone call led to Carole reaching out to her son again, James answering the phone to her a few hours later.  

“Does that invite extend to Ella?” he asked, frowning.  

“Of course, it does!” she exclaimed, busying herself with cleaning the kitchen while she jammed the cordless phone between her ear and shoulder. “I’d like to meet this girl your father has told me all about.”  

Even though she was being polite and casual, agreeing to visiting still went against his better judgement. Come the following Saturday, he’d see in hindsight how correct his intuition had been, too. 

[felicitysmoaksx]

Hi, everyone. Thanks so much for reading! I had a plan for this chapter, it was going to be about 5k in total, but the characters had other plans so this is being split into two parts once again! Happy reading! Song recs are: The Little Things by Kelsea Ballerini, The Other POV by Khloe Rose, and Kill Ur Vibe by All Time Low

Rating: Explicit (Minors DNI 18+)

Summary:   Sarah returns to work following her injury and Justin's death. (Did she also mention that she was four months pregnant and had also 'popped' overnight?

Word Count:��2.6k

Warnings: implied Sexual Content, inaccurate therapy session, unplanned pregnancy, inaccurate pregnancy depictions, and some slight survivor guilt

Read On AO3 |  Fic Playlist | Fic Playlist but Less Shippy | Want to be tagged when I post a Rheese story?

Sometimes Sarah wondered how she got here. She thought, staring at her raven-haired boyfriend. With this wonderful man, who probably should’ve run away from her a long time ago, but instead stayed by her side like he was superglue. This man was arguably the sexiest man she had ever seen, but not only that…Connor was kind. Connor was protective and admittedly, could be a bit of a mother hen. But it was only because he cared, deeply. He cared about everything. From his patients to his friends and family and for some reason he cared and loved her. 

So yeah, sometimes Sarah thought about how she got here and how different everything was in her life. Especially the biggest change to come…Her hand moved without thought, resting over her still flat stomach. Only…it wasn’t still flat. 

Getting out of bed, she crossed the room to stand in front of the mirror and saw that her stomach now had a small swell to it. According to all the books, she had finally popped. Honestly, they made it sound like she was a piece of popcorn. She thought to herself, turning and running her hand over the small swell of her stomach. Even though the shirt was oversized, there was no denying she was pregnant now. Before, it had just looked like she had put on some extra weight.

A muffled noise came from the bed. Then the man in the bed turned. She watched, struggling not to laugh as Connor stretched out a hand to find her. And when he didn’t find her his sleepy, “Babe?”

“Over here,” she called softly. Connor shifted to sit up with one hand rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. 

“Another nightmare-” He yawned but stopped short when he caught sight of her, of her stomach His eyes widened a little, “Oh, wow.”

“I know,” Sarah swept another hand across her boulder-like stomach. Her boyfriend moved so he stood right behind her, arms wrapped around her waist. His hands were covering her own. She nuzzled her face into his neck. His lips pressed to the side of her forehead. 

“Guess the cat will be out of the bag now,” Sarah said in a quiet voice. Connor hummed in agreement. It wasn’t like they had been trying to keep it a secret. But in the grand scheme of things, between Justin passing, Sarah seeing Dr. Richardson again at Hank’s request, and everything else in between with Sarah’s recovery, telling people that they were expecting wasn’t the first thing on their minds. Besides, it was nice having something to themselves for a little while. 

“Are you sure you’re ready to come back? It’s not too late to change your mind. You could take another week,” he mused quietly, squeezing her more to him. 

“I’m going stir crazy enough as it is,” Sarah shook her head at the suggestion. “Hank and Erin are already back at work and besides that, working will provide me with some stability. And I should go back now because, in another five months, I’ll be out for maternity leave.”

Connor bit his tongue. Because they both knew it didn’t quite work like that. Grief didn’t work like that. But he didn’t tell his girlfriend that. Instead, he told her carefully, “I just don’t want you to push yourself to do too much too soon.” 

“And you think another week will fix that?” Sarah asked, pulling her face out of his neck. 

“I think another week would help you mentally prepare for helping people dealing with their most difficult times after you had been through something so traumatic yourself,” Connor ducked his head down to kiss her neck. His lips were so careful around the still-healing scar of her bullet wound. Though Ava had deemed it healed enough that it didn’t need a bandage on it anymore. 

That was a difficult conversation to have. Sarah felt insecure when she looked at the scar. The deep cavernous indentation that wasn’t quite a hole anymore but it certainly wasn’t gone either. It wasn’t attractive, the brunette knew that. Adding that to the scarring she had on her back from her burns and then Connor treating her as if she were glass just waiting to break didn’t help matters either. 

Dr. Richardson noticed a day when her insecurities were getting the best of her and when the brunette confessed what was wrong, encouraged her to do two things: put something that made her feel attractive and then have an honest conversation with him about it. 

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“What is bothering you most about approaching Connor with this?” The older woman posed the question to Sarah. The brunette shrugged, “I guess the unknown variable. What if I’m right and he does find me unattractive because of my scars both seen and unseen but he doesn’t feel like he can leave me right now because of everything that’s happened? Or ever because I’m having his child and he’s forever tied to me because of it?”

“This is the first time you’ve mentioned your pregnancy outside of our first appointment since you’ve started back seeing me again. But we can circle back to that.” The psychiatrist made a note, “And if that happens, if you’re right. What then?”

“Then I’ll have to be the one to walk away and I’m…Connor is a good man. He’s the best relationship I’ve ever had in my time as an adult. I love him. I don’t want to walk away. But what if that isn’t enough anymore?  What if this is all too much for him but he can’t say it because of everything that’s happened to me? Or because of our baby?”

Dr. Richardson made another note before noticing the time on the clock on the wall behind Sarah. “Okay, we need to find a stopping point. So I want to leave it here and encourage you to talk to Connor about what you’re feeling. You’ve told me he’s honest, kind, and a good man. So be honest with him and see where that leads you, Sarah. Because sooner or later, you’ll have to know and we’ll discuss it next week.”

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Looking back at it now, Sarah thought she could have handled the conversation better than just blurting out, “You don’t find me attractive anymore, do you?”

And watching her boyfriend look so dumbfounded at her words. She’ll never forget the look on his face as she continued, “I mean, I know I wasn’t much before everything happened, but I’m not attractive anymore am I?”

Then he proved just how wrong she was in her thinking. But that was a story for another time. She didn’t want to think about that right now. Instead, she wanted…

“Love me,” she moaned quietly as she leaned into his touch. Connor captured her lips in response, pulling her back to the bed. 

“How is it today?” Her boyfriend asked quietly while they were basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking. 

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“Sarah, you’re a psychiatrist.” Dr. Richardson reminded her during a session when the curly-haired brunette admitted to feeling guilty because she felt normal one day because it felt like she was moving on way too soon from Justin’s death, “If you were to have a patient tell you this, what would be your response?”

“Grief is something that rapidly changes from day to day,”

“Exactly. Grief isn’t linear. Some days you’ll wake up, and getting out of bed will be a struggle. Some days you’ll wake up and be angry or sad. Sometimes you’ll wake up like today and be perfectly fine.” The woman nodded, agreeing, “You need to treat yourself with care, Sarah. Grief will never completely go away, but don’t feel guilty for the good days you do have.”

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“It’s there, but it doesn’t hurt as much today,” Sarah told him quietly, pressing a kiss to the permanent love bite she left on his shoulder.

“If that changes?” Connor ran a hand down her back. Another kiss was placed on his shoulder, “You’ll be one of the first ones I tell…What if none of my clothes fit? I haven't had a chance to get maternity clothes yet. They must’ve known I was going back today.”

“Or they knew we’re going to be checking in on them with the ultrasound today,” her boyfriend grinned, patting her newly swollen stomach softly. 

“I might be on the early side of showing, but the book’s and Dr. Grant both say the baby won’t be kicking for another few months: until I’m at least six months or later considering this is my first pregnancy…and what?” 

“What?” 

“You have this weird grin on your face. Why?” Why? He was probably reading too much into her words; no he definitely knew he was reading too much into her words. But she had said first pregnancy and that had conjured images of them…with a sibling for this child. But Connor didn’t want to freak her out because they hadn’t even had this baby yet. So he ran a hand through her curls as he said, “I’m just happy.” 

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“Have you thought any more about moving in with me?” Connor prodded in the elevator while they were on the way down to the parking garage. He had floated the question last week during dinner one night. And it was logical, they were about to be tied together forever by their baby. And yet…Sarah didn’t want to move in just because it was smart and made sense. 

And hadn’t they seen this film before? Connor moving in with his broken and recovering girlfriend and it blowing up in their faces? All of it was starting to feel too similar. (There was that secondhand deja vu again.)

“Or we can find a different apartment if the idea of moving into my space is what’s bothering you.” Sarah shot him a look and her boyfriend shrugged with a smirk. 

“I can see the gears turning in your head,” 

“I don’t want to move in together just because we’re having a baby. That’s about as dated as getting married because we’re having a baby out of wedlock.” She told him before pausing. Then the brunette turned sharply to her boyfriend, wagging her finger at him. “Don’t you even dare think about proposing to me right now, Connor Rhodes. I will say no.”

 “So wait nine months after the kid is born, got it.” He snorted and when she shot him another pointed look; it turned into a full-blown laugh as the elevator opened with a ding to the parking garage. 

“You’re ridiculous, but more like twelve months,” Sarah rolled her eyes fondly before he opened the door to his car for her. He leaned in to peck her lips. “But I’m yours and you love me.”

“Why do you want to move in with me? Outside of the practical reasons because of our baby?” She asked after he pulled out of the garage and they were cruising down the road. The hand he had on her thigh flexed. They stopped at a red light and he glanced at her. His blue eyes were practically shimmering. 

“The baby is the main reason I want this sooner than later. But I’d like to think we were always headed towards this. Because you said it yourself a few months ago. You spend five nights out of the week at my place. More often than not though, you don’t even go back to your apartment. Over half of your stuff is at my place by now. So why are you paying thirteen hundred dollars a month for a place, that doesn’t even have an elevator and you spend maybe a week at? Each month?” 

“So you always saw us living together?”

“I always thought that’s what we’re working towards.” Connor shrugged at her question while they started moving again. His hand flexed again as his thumb started rubbing circles into her skin. Such a possessive action. It was something Sarah never found attractive in a man before, but the difference between her exes and Connor? Connor was possessive in private, unless provoked. (She had seen this firsthand because Joey liked to test this boundary and her boyfriend was quick to put him in his place.) Like the love bites on her body, his possessive actions were for them, only. 

“But I’ve thought this was a relationship sooner than you did,” he said, pulling Sarah out of her thoughts. 

“Huh?” 

“We weren’t on the same page until we were four months in,” Connor explained, “I thought we were a couple sooner than you did. So I think I’m a little quicker to jump for this because of that.”

“When did you start to think of this as a relationship?” 

“I-“ he hesitated and Sarah was pleasantly amused to see a flush crawling up her calm, cool, and collective boyfriend’s neck. “I’m not sure I want to tell you that because it’ll come out in a weird way.” 

She just grinned at him. Then she laid her hand over his resting on her thigh. Connor sighed. 

“The day you called me Dr. Rhodes in bed for the first time.” He muttered as he maneuvered his way into the other lane.  The brunette felt her mouth drop open, a laugh bubbling its way off of her lips. 

“So many things to unpack here,” Sarah started, still laughing even as Connor pinched her thigh lightly. “But we had only been sleeping together for about two weeks at that point.” 

“Yeah, so?” 

…So he had only been broken up from Robin for about two months? Or was it three? She couldn’t remember…and why did her brain keep circling back to his and Robin’s relationship? Why did she keep comparing them? 

“I also think that’s the first time you rode me too,” Connor commented and Sarah whipped her head to face him, but her boyfriend was staring at the road. 

Sarah felt her cheeks heating as she said, “Connor, you can’t just say that!”

A red light caught them again. They were nearing the hospital now. Her boyfriend faced her, a wicked gleam in his blue eyes. His rapidly darkening blue eyes-the way they did when they had sex. She shivered.

“Why? We’re the only ones in the car and you were thinking way too much and I needed to get you out of your head somehow. Since we’re in the car, I’m limited as to what I can do…” His hand moved a little higher up her thigh. 

“Because I think the last time you talked dirty to me,” she started trying to ground him back to reality, the brunette grabbed the hand on her thigh and placed it on her swollen stomach, “This happened.” 

“You act like I’m afraid to put another baby in you,” he pecked her lips quickly, before he went back to driving, “I’m not.”  (If only they knew…) 

“Connor,” she sputtered, while they pulled into the hospital parking lot and waited in line for a valet to come and take his car. Her boyfriend kissed her again, this one their tongue met but it was fleeting.

“It’s true,” Connor muttered against her lips, before he leaned his forehead against hers. “You know how proud I am of you, baby?” 

“I haven’t done anything yet,” 

“I’m still proud of you for trying.” Connor reiterated firmly with another kiss on her forehead. “And if it doesn’t work out coming back this soon, you know that’s okay too.”

(If only Sarah knew it wasn’t going to be a good day, but not for the reason everyone thought.)

[fanby-fckry]

Ignore what I said about queuing this. I wrote the rest of this post when I was in a better headspace; now I’m petty and pissed off, so I dug into my queue and grabbed it.

Do you ever get hate from a stranger on a post and wonder… How did you even find this post??

Still getting used to the idea that fandom antis will apparently purposefully browse the tags of the thing they hate because it seems so genuinely pointless to me, but ok. I’m starting to understand that some people just choose to be angry, I guess.

But what blows my fucking mind is that I got hate on a vent post???

I don’t tag my vent posts with anything but my tags and content warnings. And I tag them #[topic] cw so it’s not like people are finding them in the main tags for that thing.

Reblogs are turned off, so it didn’t get thrown onto their dash by someone they follow that follows me and reblogged it in good faith.

So this person had to:

Choose a thing to be intentionally hateful about.

Choose to search not just for that thing, but instead to search #thing cw.

Find a post made 12 hours ago with 5 notes on it.

Decide, Yup, time to be an asshole!

I try to assume ignorance before malice. I try to assume someone’s having a bad day before I assume they went out of their way to be an asshole.

But I genuinely do not understand how you could accidentally stumble upon an unrebloggable vent post only tagged with cw tags.

How?? Why??? Wtf?? Why do you even care? Do you gain anything from this? Does this make you happy?

Or are you scrolling, seething about how much you hate, hate, hate a certain group of people? Are you clenching your jaw? Is your blood pressure rising? Do you need to take a break and do some breathing exercises?

Fucking go touch grass.

I’m writing this post for the same reason I made my other vent post: because it helps me process. Sometimes, I just need to scream into the void without bugging my partners or taking up time in my therapy sessions. And sometimes, my mutuals comfort and/or commiserate, which is nice.

But I genuinely cannot think of a world in which hate-scrolling an obscure tag would in any way positively impact my life or anyone else’s.

The last time I hate-scrolled, it was through a repost account in an attempt to go find all the original artists that the blog had stollen art from. I found one, and a few other artists had already been tagged, but eventually, I got so angry I couldn’t focus anymore.

So I stopped. I blocked the account. I moved on.

And the only reason I didn’t do that from the start was because it was genuinely helping someone for me to hate-scroll. It helped the artist I contacted. If I had been the first to get to a few other works I recognized, it would’ve helped those artists too.

I also didn’t seek out this blog; one of their stollen posts showed up on my dash and I went, Wow, that’s stollen art! Time to go fuck shit up!

Who does it benefit when you seek out other people’s posts when you know the content is upsetting to you, just to hate on them? What does that accomplish besides marginally increasing the suffering in this already shitty world?

Queueing this rather than posting it so that it won’t be obvious which vent post I’m talking about, but holy fuck this makes me feel things.

[leporinelou]

Hey, I need a full, like, 30k+ fic of nasty!Steve. Please and thank you. I will send all my love and money.

It's Steve being an ass out of fear and Billy not caring too much to start with because he's just enjoying the tease of him. And then Steve being an ass because he enjoys the power, he sees Billy wanting it more and he starts to enjoy it more with less fear but he still needs to feel a control so he's a little cruel, baits him and toys with him. And Billy starting to feel it but still not wanting to give this up, goes along with it.

And then maybe eventually he draws a line and Steve gets angry and fearful and mean, maybe messes with another guy in a way so that Billy finds out to make him jealous or finds out Billy is messing around with someone else and he starts trying to take them away, but when it pushes Billy further and he gets cold with Steve, he realises he's just hurt and starts to crawl back a little sweeter when he realises he misses Billy and not just what they were doing.

Or maybe Steve just realises he wants to hang out with Billy and not always be doing something, just be around him, talking and laughing and just leaning against him whilst they smoke or watch tv, with no other agenda. And it's difficult and he missteps a lot but they get there and he realises all the shit he done to Billy and starts trying to make up for it, being kinder and sweeter and caring and the way hes been with other partners before, and Billy is overwhelmed with getting what he wanted deep down. Maybe it's hard to navigate and he doesn't react well, scared to give in to it just for Steve to return to that cruel way before? But Steve doesn't. He deals with his issues and communicates more, cares openly with Billy. And Billy starts to learn to believe in his own self-worth and when he struggles, Steve makes sure to help him know it. And they actually start being happy.

I just love what you've done and how you write it, but i hate how it's consumed me and its the only type of relationship I wanna read right now.

I'll live for any little mentions of your nasty!Steve though. Thank you ❤️

genuinely so surprised that people like this whole asshole steve thing ?? but i’m living for it because SAME it’s all i can think about rn.. literal brain rot over over this

and god i love all of this !! it hurts so bad and i love it </3

i kinda don’t consider myself ‘a fic writer’ i’m ngl & i only really post stuff on here rn (apart from like two fics on ao3 that i’m not willing to discuss /hj) & idk if i could promise a whole fic to be completely honest because my brain simply does not work properly & i have the attention span/memory capacity of a goldfish (no joke)

however !! if i do write something longer then i’ll keep this in mind !! i do still have another ask(s ?) to answer about the sad boys dynamic so there’ll be more of me talking about them anyway dw

& my ask box is always open for prompts, suggestions etc etc i love it all (even if i do take ten years to answer i’m sorry) so !! yeah <3

how i look when i think about this dynamic btw just for a visual - it feels fitting

[howlinghunters]

More venting bullshit for therapy I guess

[frogtanii]

these transcripts are protected by doctor-client privilege and hippa laws and should only be accessed by the verified person(s). please call xxx-xxxx if you are in fear of those laws being violated.

————————————————————————

[dr otsuaka]: hello, [redacted]! it’s so great to hear from you again! last we met, things were on track with your recovery — has that changed at all?

[patient 86]: clears throat um, not really. things are weird, that’s all.

[dr o]: weird how?

[86]: ...

[dr o]: does this have something to do with your roommate, [redacted]?

[86]: nods

[dr o]: does this also deal with you working through your feelings for her?

[86]: she... she doesn’t like me like that. i’m not like... like [redacted].

[dr o]: now, what did we say about negative self talk and comparisons to others?

[86]: ...not to do it.

[dr o]: i know it isn’t easy but you are not [redacted] or [redacted] for a reason. you are you and that doesn’t make you less than! it just makes you different.

[86]: smiles ... she said something like that to me once.

[dr o]: she sounds like a smart girl. you should listen to her.

[86]: ...yeah.

————————————————————————

[patient 12]: —and then she just, punches the air, wham! and it was so intense and i’m pretty sure i’ve never been more turned on in my life because, god doc you should’ve seen her. i know you’re like 50 and gay but.. damn.

[doctor fujiwara]: laughs you are quite the character [redacted].

[12]: i try.

[dr f]: well, it seems as though this girl has become quite the fixture in your life.

[12]: i mean.. yeah. she saved me.

[dr f]: hm... don’t you think you are.. idolizing her a bit? placing her on an unattainable pedestal which sets her up for failure in your eyes? you’ve placed quite a bit of weight on [redacted].

[12]: ... no, no she’s helped me through so much but i don’t, she’s not my idol or anything.

[dr f]: are you sure? you place much of the credit for your recovery on her. is that fair to her, to feel entirely responsible for your health and well-being?

[12]: ...

[dr f]: just think about it, hm? now, tell me again about this ferret you were thinking of purchasing?

————————————————————————

[dr otsuaka]: ... and how did that make you feel?

[patient 88]: ... you couldn’t sound more cliche if you tried.

[dr o]: laughs nothing gets quite past you [redacted].

[88]: you say that as though it is a bad thing.

[dr o]: trust me it isn’t. but on that note, tell me some things you’ve observed this week.

[88]: ...she isn’t eating as much. i think the stress is getting to her.

[dr o]: is it not getting to you as well?

[88]: ...it isn’t about me.

[dr o]: this is your therapy session [redacted], it quite literally is about you. ...have you been neglecting yourself in favor of taking care of her?

[88]: we’re drifting and i do not want to lose her. she has [redacted] and it doesn’t seem like... like she has use of me anymore.

[dr o]: [redacted]... you are not an object to be used. no one can decide if you are “of use” or not — you need to take care of yourself so that when you are up to it, when you are healed and ready, you can take care of the others around you. she is a grown woman and as much as you care for her, she can take care of herself. it is time for you to focus on you.

[88]: ... i don’t know how to do that.

[dr o]: smiles well, that is what i’m here for.

————————————————————————

[dr barnes]: ah welcome, [redacted]! it’s so great to meet you! dr otsuaka speaks of you highly!

[patient 4]: wow! you’re so big! your biceps are as big as my head!!

[dr b]: laughs i do enjoy my time at the gym! please sit, sit!

[4]: thank you for seeing me dr barnes!

[dr b]: no, it’s really my pleasure! when dr otsuaka needed to clear out her client list, i leaped at the opportunity to take some of you on.

[4]: yeah, she told me something like that. i’m just happy i still have a therapist! it would really suck if all my progress went out the window.

[dr b]: oh yes, i have some of your charts here... shuffles papers looks like you suffer from... separation anxiety and ptsd?

[4]: yep, but it hasn’t gotten me down yet!

[dr b]: that’s great [redacted]. i’m looking forward to seeing the progress we can make with one another!

[4]: aw, thanks dr b! you’re so cool!

[dr b]: that’s all you bud, all you. so, what do you think of starting from the beginning?

[4]: well, it all started when my mom met my dad and they fell in love and had se—

————————————————————————

[dr yamada]: wow, hi [redacted]! it’s been so long since we’ve last spoken. high school, was it?

[patient 7]: um, yeah.

[dr y]: so, what brings you back here to see me? do you need a refill on your meds?

[7]: ...maybe.

[dr y]: [redacted]... are you alright?

[7]: bursts into tears no.. oh god no..

[dr y]: that bad, huh?

[7]: yeah.. yeah, it’s that bad.

[dr y]: is it [redacted]?

[7]: sniffles oh, no not him. actually, his girlfriend? she’s back.

[dr y]: oh god..

[7]: yeah.. laughs dryly

[dr y]: well, it’s a good thing you’re here then. do you remember your affirmations?

[7]: how could i forget? i am loved—

[dr y]: in unison —i am deserving of love—

[7]: —and i will love in return. wow, it’s been a minute.

[dr y]: and still, it stuck. yet another example of my incredible teachings.

[7]: just as insufferable as always, dr yamada.

[dr y]: and just as guarded as usual, [redacted]. am i going to have to pry the information out of you this time around?

[7]: nah... i think... i think i really need to talk about it.

[dr y]: good. i am here to listen.

℗ poker face

intermission

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - kekeke a new funky short filler chapter comin up for y’all!!! i’ve done therapy transcripts once before so i kinda wanted to try again??? provide a splash of insight for the hotties who r going to therapy in pf!! and even tho i think i made it kinda obvious, i wanna see y’all guess whomst is whom!!! also this is considerably lower quality than i intended KSJ but we will get back to our regularly scheduled (read: better) writing tomorrow KEJEK anyways fat thanks to my wife ghostie (who i cant tag rip) for helping me out!!! don’t forget to feed me!!! <3333

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @syndellwins • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saikishairclip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

[shittygaypornmagazine]

An Honest Christmas

It was stupid, Frank had to admit that. Not because he was particularly fond of being honest with himself - all the years in the closet might give you an impression on where he stood on this topic - but because he decided that this upcoming year, he will try and change his behaviour. Become more aware of himself and others. Just like his therapist told him. Because all that his therapist told him always was very wise, smart and reasonable. Just like that time when she said he has to treat himself once in a while. Oh, he took that advice to heart. And followed it ever since, every time he could.

For example, like, right now, while standing in the biggest LEGO store he had seen in his life, located in the Duty Free area of Toronto Airport. The only issue was that it was 3:34AM. And his flight departure was scheduled to 3:20AM.

"Shit," he squeaked, rushing outside the store towards gate E5. Maybe there was a slight, tiny chance that the flight got delayed and he simply didn't remember (that happened to him once already, so it wouldn't be a surprise)? "No, no, no..."

BOOM.

Wet- no, hot. Too hot.

"Fuck!" Frank looked down at the person who bumped into him, spilling their coffee all over him.

"Oh god I am sorry," the guy proclaimed, waiving his hands in panic. "I'm so sorry..."

At first glance Frank thought that the guy might have spilled the coffee over himself too, but then he realised that that's just how his clothes looked like: stained and old, like those of a mechanic, who's worked in a workshop for most of his life. Frank looked at the guy's face, to judge wether this description was suitable, and...

Hot- no, annoying. Too annoying.

"What the fuck, man?" snapped Frank. "I missed my flight!"

Oop. His therapist wouldn't like that. This is definitely not honesty. This was the exact opposite. And, considering he affected other people with it, if this little scene ever comes up in one of their sessions, they'd have to go back like two months of therapy. And Frank didn't want that. He wanted the progress. Wanted the changes. He wanted to be Ok. So he took a breath listening to the other guy's rambling.

He had a name tag on his suspenders: LEO VALDEZ. Frank hummed to himself.

"So you agree?" the guy asked, probably thinking Frank replied to something he said.

Frank blinked. "Uh. What?"

"I can buy you another ticket. For the next flight. Wherever you're headed."

Frank blinked again.

His original ticket's cost was laughable, which meant that the plane was, probably, just a bus with two cupboard wings; but the next flight was by an actual Respectable Airplane Company, and the cost looked accordingly. But if the guy - Leo - insisted... Frank was greedy and selfish enough to accept the offer. Besides, he really needed to get home, to Vancouver. To his grandma.

"Fine," he said. "I- thanks, I guess. But, uh... Aren't you here for a flight either?"

Leo grinned. Frank reminded himself that honesty is not always a blessing.

"I work here," he said. "I mean, not here, here... But in airports, generally. And sometimes I sneak in, to catch a ride. Have a thing for flying metal things. Remind me of dragons"

"Or transformers," Frank snorted.

"Do not bring this shit show into this engineeringly skilled household."

"Wow," Frank raiser his eyebrows. "You must be fun at parties."

Leo placed a hand on his chest. "I am hilarious at parties, thank you very much."

"You're welcome," chuckled Frank.

For some reason, Frank hoped for Leo to turn out an annoying asshole, so he'd have a valid reason to absolutely hate his guts for making him sit at a random McDonald's in the middle of the night, in coffee soaked clothes. But his hoped were in vain, because Leo McShizzle was, indeed, fucking hilarious. Again, not that Frank would admit that to himself. Or to Leo.

When the guy joked, Frank would roll his eyes, or - if the joke was actually good - continue the bit with a sarcastic tone. And maybe he did grin like once. Or twice. But it's not like Leo was looking at him when it happened, so it doesn't matter. He doesn't have to admit it happened. His therapist won't know. No one will, actually. This will remain his little Airport secret. Because that's what all kinds of Airport affairs always were.

"You can't say that," Frank shook his head while they were waiting in line for ticket purchase.

"Why not?" Leo asked, fiddling with his belt.

"Because it's bullshit," Frank said. "Take it from me, I'm a security guard."

"Well," Leo shrugged. "This doesn't change the fact that this place is shit, and so is the security."

"It's the biggest airport in the country."

"That's the thing!" Leo waved his hand. "Here you have a false sense of security."

Frank raised his hand. "I wouldn't say it's false."

"Listen, I've been behind the scenes. And let me tell you; you have no idea how easy it would be, to take that whole building under one single person's control."

"It sounds like something they'd arrest you for saying."

"I thought you would agree with me," Leo scoffed. "As a security guard."

"Well, I don't work at airports. Don't have the right level of license yet. For now I'm more like... School and Kindergarten kind of guard."

"The Fun Ruiner," Leo nodded. "Suits you."

"Hey, I don't ruin anyone's fun!" Frank said, offended. "Kids have to be in school when they are supposed to."

"Mhm," Leo said, gravely, as if confirming a diagnosis. "Just like I thought. A rare case of a Good Cop."

"Shut up."

"Of course, darling," Leo winked at him.

That was the last thing he said before buying Frank his new ticket. And since then things turned kind of... weird. There was no reason for Leo to stay with him, but he still did. And it was annoying. Of course it was. It had to be. Because Frank "came out as bisexual only because of two of his best friends" Zhang couldn't develop a crush on a dude who spilled coffee on him. That wouldn't work. Normal couples sometimes recreated their first meetings after years of dating, and Frank dreaded the day that idea might be brought up, because, well- no. Stop. Wait. Why was he thinking about it?! He didn't even know the guy, so why was he...?

His thoughts were interrupted by an announcement. A flight - Frank's flight - was departing in 50 minutes and all the passengers had been invited to check in and board the plane.

"Well," Leo smiled. "Guess that's my cue. My break was over about an hour ago but, you know, considering I kind of ruined all of your plans for the day..."

"Eh, you know..." Frank shrugged, awkwardly. "Happens."

Leo raised his eyebrows. "Not what you said at first."

"I was very much pissed at first," Frank admitted. Honestly.

"That checks out," Leo nodded. "And you know who has to check in?"

Frank felt his eyes roll back, towards the ceiling. "Oh, my god..."

"I'm right here, no need to call me."

"You- oh, shut up."

"That's how you part ways with me? Really?" Leo clicked his tongue. "Who raised you?"

"My mom told me not to talk to strangers," Frank said and, picking up his bag, started walking towards his gate.

"A stanger?! Is that how you call it now?!" cried Leo. "I thought we had a binding moment!"

"Don't remember. Didn't happen!"

Except that it did. It did happen. He did remember. And the worst of all: he didn't forget. But even so, the universe decided to remind him of that again about three months later, when Frank was being late to his shift at his new job at the Vancouver airport, and bumped into someone, spilling his tea all over them.

@yourlocalmorosoph this is a devotion for you, and a thank you for helping me to come up with the whole thing to @leovaldezdefender 🥹✨

[plaidbooks]

Dark Secrets: New Beginnings

A/N: This is the first installment of the Vampire!Sonny x reader fic. This chapter is only setting the stage; next chapter will be more about the vampire aspect, I promise! This covers the Bookstore square in @adarafaelbarba​ moodboard bingo!

Tags: mentions of sex

Words: 2233

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart​  @beccabarba​  @thatesqcrush​ @itsjustmyfantasyroom​ @permanentlydizzy​ @ben-c-group-therapy​  @infiniteoddball​ @glowingmess​ @whimsicallymad​ @lv7867​ @storiesofsvu​ @cycat4077​ @alwaysachorusgirl​  @glimmerglittergirl​ @joanofarkansass​ @caracalwithchips​ @berniesilvas​​  @reading--mermaid​  @averyhotchner​  @mrsrafaelbarba​ @detective-giggles​ @crowleysqueenofhell​ @dreamlover31​

You spent hours on the computer compiling resources for your thesis. After years and years, you were finally getting your Ph. D in History…if you could just finish this damned thesis. List complete, you headed to the local bookstore; you always checked them first before going online, since they were cheaper.

You were intimately familiar with the bookstore; you went there often. And you had double and triple checked online that they had these books. You had a small basket, four books in it, while you looked for the fifth and final book you needed. But its spot on the shelf stood vacant; a perfect hole where it should be.

Shaking your head slightly, you started to search the shelves around it, in case someone didn’t put it back correctly. But you were coming up empty. And this was the book that you needed to buy here; the shop had it for $20, while online was a couple hundred.

“Looking for Making the Revolution: America, 1763-1791?” a voice asked from behind you.

You turned to find a pale, lanky, attractive man, his hair slicked back, his bright blue eyes watching you intently. He was sitting at a table, open book in his hand. Seeing the cover, you knew it was the book you needed.

“I am, yes. Were you intending to buy it?” you questioned, praying he said no.

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards. “I was debating it. Why, do you want it?”

“I do; I need it for my thesis. If you let me buy it, I promise to give it to you when I’m done, free of charge.” At this point, you were just desperate for that book.

His eyes seemed to bore into you as he thought about your proposal. Finally, he smiled, saying, “I think that’s a noble reason to buy this book. You’ve got yourself a deal.” He held the book out to you, and you gently took it from him.

“Thank you so, so much. You don’t know how much this helps me,” you said, placing the book in your basket.

He held a hand up. “No problem. There’s a lot of inaccuracies in that text, anyways.”

You blinked in surprise. “There are?”

“Oh yes. For one, it perpetuates the idea that Christopher Columbus came here to ‘escape tyranny’ in England, which is a load of crap, if I’m honest.”

You took a step closer to the strange man. “Do you have a source on that?”

He thought about it, chuckling to himself about something, before he answered. “Well, I am in the process of transcribing a manuscript from the man himself. But it hasn’t been published quite yet, so I doubt it’ll be of use to you for your thesis.”

“Wh—who are you?” you asked in awe.

He held a hand out for you to shake. “Dr. Dominick Carisi Jr., but you, my dear, may call me Sonny.”

Your eyes widened in shock, and you quickly shook his hand. “Dr. Carisi? Oh my god! I’ve been reading your work in class; I loved your thesis on slavery!” You had never seen a picture of him, had no idea he was so young; he was about your age. You had expected him to be an old man, at least in his 80s, not this attractive man in his early 40s at most.

He barked out a laugh. “You’ve really been reading my work? I’m flattered. I didn’t think anyone put stock in my texts.” While it was true he was a world renowned historian, his work was seen as highly controversial. He had a knack for citing manuscripts and journal entries, things that no one had discovered before he brought them to the limelight. But every authenticator had proven that the writings were from the time period. And that was enough for you.

“Please, sir, er, Doctor. Could I spend a day with you, pick your brain for my thesis? I’ll—I’ll buy the drinks and food, just…please?” you asked, suddenly embarrassed.

But Sonny’s smile grew. “I’d like that. But only if you call me Sonny. If you’re doing your thesis, then I assume you’re almost done with your doctorate?” You nodded, and he continued, “then in my eyes, we’re equals, and you don’t need to call me ‘Doctor’.”

Your heart beat a little faster when he called you equals. “Thank you so much Doc—Sonny. Does the coffeeshop next door work for you?”

“It does. And I’m free all week, whenever you need me.”

“How about tomorrow morning? I don’t have class until 3pm; I hope that’s enough time to chat.”

He gave you that heart melting smile once more. “Sounds good. See you tomorrow.” Then he took your hand and kissed it. As he walked away, your knees felt weak. You were infatuated within five minutes of talking to him.

 **********************

Sonny turned out to be an incredible source of information. Plus, he brought books that he thought would help you, letting you borrow what you needed. And, like yesterday, you found yourself completely enamored with him. He didn’t have a ring on, so you assumed him unmarried, but you didn’t know how to bring it up without being weird. Sure, you were close in age, but he was done with school, became a published historian, while you were still finishing up college. But he never talked down to you; on the contrary, he seemed highly interested in what you had to say.

Like before, you had been nervous—star-struck, really—when you met up with him. But as the hours ticked by, you found yourself more and more comfortable with him. He was highly intelligent, especially about history. You had found it hard to find someone who was as interested in history as you were, without sounding like a pretentious asshole. But Sonny checked all those boxes for you. You were just unsure if he felt the same.

“When is your thesis due? I feel like it’s still early in the academic year,” he asked.

You cleared your throat. “It is; I still have months and months to work on it. It’s due next year, but I want it to be perfect, you know?”

“I do, I do,” he agreed, nodding. “I hope you’re taking some time off, though, as well. Don’t let this paper take up your whole life; you should be out, appreciating everything this life has to give you. Don’t get stuck in the past.”

You looked at the table, letting his words soak in. It was like he had looked right through you; for the past month or so, you’ve been deep in your studies. You had friends, sure, but you hardly saw them. And you’d given up on dating until after you finished college, anyways. But maybe Sonny was on to something. You should seize the day, capture every moment in memories.

“Would you like to get dinner with me, Sonny?” you asked, trying to sound as confident as possible.

It was his turn to look surprised. “Oh, uh…sorry, you caught me off guard. In all my years, no one has ever asked me out; it’s usually the other way around.”

You chuckled. “You’re not much older than me,” you joked, and he smiled. “Maybe it’s time for something new. For both of us…that is, if you want?”

“I’d love to go to dinner with you,” he said, and your heart soared.

When it was getting close to 3, you bade him goodbye, and he told you he would be eagerly awaiting your dinner date. You felt your face heat at the words, and you swore your face never cooled off for the rest of the day.

*********************

That date with Doctor Carisi turned out to be the best decision of your life. You both felt the spark between you, and you said yes to a second date before he even finished asking. Now, it’s been ten months of loving bliss between you. You completed your thesis, got your doctorate, and Sonny couldn’t be more proud of you. And you learned that while he was a historian, he was also a detective. He said he wanted to help people now, by giving them both access to history material, and by putting absolute monsters away.

But there were little things with him, quirks, really. Though you’ve been to his place, and he yours, he never made a move to get you into bed. Sure, you’ve kissed—and sometimes this escalated to a full-blown make out session—but he didn’t seem interested in sex.

He also didn’t seem interested in moving in together…or a future at all, really. Whenever you tried to bring it up, he would just nod along with you, agreeing to whatever you said and adding on a lot of “one day’s”.

He had no family for you to meet, and yours didn’t live close. You noticed he also didn’t eat or drink much; he loved to make you dinner, and he would say that he snacked while cooking. And then, about once a month, he’d leave for 3-4 days, claiming he wanted to be alone to work on the manuscript.

You gave him as much space as he asked for, and though you still loved him dearly, you were starting to wonder if there was something wrong with you…or if it was just something he was having issues with.

“Hey Sonny?” you asked one day while snuggling on the couch at your place. “Are we okay?”

He glanced down at you. “As far as I know, yes? Why, something on your mind?”

“Well…I was just thinking about how we’ve been together almost a year and we still haven’t moved in together,” you tried.

He looked to the ceiling as he thought. “Wow, I guess it really has been that long now, hasn’t it? I feel like I just met you yesterday.”

“So, are we not connecting on a deeper level, then?” You sat up, turning to look at him.

His bright blue eyes found yours, and his expression softened. “That’s not what I meant; I’m sorry it came out like that. Time just…it moves so quickly is all. Look, I love you, I just—I don’t think I’m quite ready to make that jump yet. I’m sorry; I know this must be frustrating, but I promise you one day, I’ll…I’ll be ready.”

You nodded. “I love you too, I just….”

“What is it? You can tell me—”

“Why won’t you sleep with me?” you asked softly. His eyes widened, and you quickly added, “are—are you ace? It’s fine if you are, I understand, but I just…I feel like it’s something wrong with me, and I—”

He cupped your face in his hands, looking deeply in your eyes. “No, it’s nothing wrong with you, I promise. I’m just…I’m not ready—”

“I have urges, Sonny. And I love you, want to wait for you. But it’s been almost a year. I—I don’t believe a healthy relationship is built on sex, but well, it’d be nice to have every once in a while….”

He sighed, releasing your face. “It’s not that I don’t want to, because I do. I just want to be absolutely sure I’m ready. Call it shyness, or embarrassment, whatever you want. But I want to make sure that—that you’re the one for me, first, okay?”

You opened your mouth to respond when his phone rang. He gave you an apologetic look before answering with his stiff, “Carisi.” He mostly listened, making little noises of affirmation, before hanging up.

“I’m so, so sorry, doll. But the department needs me. I swear we’ll talk about this once I’m home, okay?” he promised, getting to his feet.

He grabbed his jacket, heading for the front door. “Sonny wait,” you called, and he stopped, looking back at you. You hurried over to him, looking up into those beautiful blues. “Be careful.”

He smiled softly. “I will be; promise.” He gave you a kiss, and then he was gone.

 ********************

You didn’t hear from Sonny again until the next morning, when he showed up on your front door, breakfast in hand. He apologized for leaving you last night during that important talk, but you brushed it off, telling him it was fine.

“That’s not all I have to apologize for,” he said, looking anywhere but at you. “I’m…going undercover. I’ll be gone for three months.”

Your face fell, and you put your fingers under his chin, tilting his face until he looked at you. “Three months?” you breathed.

“I’m sorry; I tried to decline, but the Lieutenant gave her orders. I leave in an hour.”

“Three months…” you said again, worry blossoming in your chest. This was the longest he’d be gone since you started dating.

He nodded. “I’ll text or call when I can, but don’t expect it; it may be too dangerous.”

You’d heard enough; you lifted onto your tiptoes, kissing him desperately. Your hands went to his hair, and you pulled him close, all your fear and trepidation in the kiss. He froze for only a moment before he was kissing you back, hands on your hips. He clutched you tightly enough that you gasped in pain, and he pulled away, releasing you.

“I’m sorry. I love you,” he muttered before turning to leave, but you had a suspicion that he wasn’t apologizing for leaving.

[tinyboxxtink]

"Doppelganger" *Part 23*

WHOO, y'all. I don't know what it is about this story but I am just...rolling it all out with the tragic backstory. No angst, I promise-- It ends happy chill out. But damn. Maybe I'm working out my own issues in here...lulz.

This gif will make so much sense you have no idea.

PART 22

Part 24

Tag List

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@objection-argumentative

------

“....And how did that make you feel?”

You tried not to laugh out loud as the question left Dr. Crestview’s mouth. Did she really just ask you that?

“...I mean it makes me ‘feel’ bad,” You rolled your eyes with a laugh while looking out the window. When you turned back to the doctor she was not laughing, and she was writing something down.

“...That was a joke,” You clarified.

“Oh yes, I get it,” She nodded as she continued writing.

“Do you?” You asked her frankly. The question caused her to stop writing and look at you.

“Mrs. Barba--”

“Ms. YLN,” You corrected. “I’m not married yet,”

“...Hmm, interesting,” She wrote something down. Seriously? She even had an insight on what-- technicalities?

“I’m sorry, was that some sort of test?” You asked sarcastically.

“Actually, it was,” She said to your surprise.

“Excuse me?” You looked at her, baffled.

“You know when most women get engaged, they start imagining their last names as their husbands. You know such as changing their signature, gathering documents, and the like,”

“...Are you serious?” You laughed again. “This is 2021 lady, half the women I know didn’t even take their husband’s last name at all,”

“And is that what you’re going to do?” She asked. “Keep your last name?”

“...If I say yes are you going to psychoanalyze that too?” You crossed your arms.

“In my experience Ms. Y/L/N, women who don’t want to change their last names tend to do so because they want to keep their independence, their…’identity’. They think taking a man’s last name is ‘giving up’ something. Giving up their identity,” She explained.

“...And?” You gestured with your hand as if waiting for her to continue.

“And in my educated opinion, it also signifies a woman going into a marriage with one foot out of the door already,” She simply stated.

“Wow,” You shook your head with a sarcastic laugh. “Did I come here to resolve my trauma, or for marriage advice?”

“I think they’re one and the same, Ms. Y/L/N,” She stayed completely calm and emotionless.

“Are they?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Given what you’ve told me in our last few sessions, you’ve given off a tone that you don’t think you deserve good things. Maybe you’re keeping on foot out of your relationship so that when it falls apart, you’ll be ready,”

“Wow....wow,” You started to stand up and storm out of the office, but she stopped you with a question.

“I’m sorry if I offended you with my observation Y/N, but be honest. Am I wrong?”

You thought about all the talks you had with Rafael about ‘not being good enough’ for him, or ‘stealing his love’. And on the one hand you felt that you were ‘connected’, you felt safe and secure. After everything you’d been through, it was almost impossible not to be, right? Right?

“....And what is your magic solution to this feeling, doctor?” You crossed your arms.

“You need to forgive yourself,”

“...Jesus Christ,” You rolled your eyes with another laugh as you paced the room. “Really? That’s your solution? Telling me something I already know?”

“No, my solution is this: You need to apologize to your parents,”

“EXCUSE ME?” You practically screamed.

“You blame yourself for their death, correct? You think that because of their desire to make you happy they risked their lives driving into the city and therefore got into their accident,” She looked over her notes from past sessions with you.

“...Right,” You looked down at the floor.

“And I don’t think that you have ever forgiven yourself for that. And in not doing so, you haven’t forgiven yourself for anything you’ve done since then. All these things you say you’ve ‘done’ to Mr. Barba that you should be ‘punished’ for-- he doesn’t see it that way. Other people don’t see it that way. Your parents' accident wasn’t your own doing, getting kidnapped wasn’t your fault. I think that you need to find closure with your parent’s death before you can even begin to ‘forgive’ yourself for whatever transpired between you and Nevada Ramirez,”

“....So you want me to apologize to my parents? How are they going to ‘forgive’ me?” You asked her.

“I think you’ll find Ms. Y/L/N that just the act of apologizing will bring about its own form of forgiveness,” She smiled.

“.....Right…” You tried not to sound condescending, but for a shrink she sure sounded crazy.

“Or don’t listen to me, I can’t force you to do anything. But that is my advice,” She shrugged.

“Noted. Thank you, doctor,” You nodded and walked out the door.

----

You walked out into the streets of the city from your doctor’s office and thinking about just how or when you’d have a chance to go to your hometown where your parents were, when you were stopped by a young girl on the street.

“Oh my god...you’re Y/N!” She gasped.

“...Yes?” You stared at her blankly.

“You’re that girl who killed Nevada Ramirez!” She squealed, causing a few people to stare and take pictures of you as they walked past.

“Oh good lord…” You muttered nervously. “Yeah well um--”

“Can I get a selfie with you?”

“Um--” You looked around, not sure of what to do. You wanted to run down the street screaming, but you thought better of it. You turned back to her with the fakest smile you could form.

“Sure!” You threw an arm around her and smiled as big as you could as she snapped a selfie with her phone.

“Thanks!” She beamed at you. “ And by the way, your fiancé is REALLY sexy,”

“Oh girl I know,” You faked a laugh and a toss of your hair as she walked away with a laugh.

It really creeped you out that girls were ‘fangirling’ over your fiancé. As if you weren’t worried about keeping a hold of him all on your own. Also how did she even know what he looked like?

The article.

You grabbed your phone and did something you told yourself you’d never do: You googled yourself.

The first thing that popped up was an article on the NYTimes.com front page:

“Fairy Tale Romance Or Horror Movie?”

...What the fuck?

The article contained your video as the main focus. Then under it the article basically dictated the video, with Tasha’s opinions thrown in here and there. Then most of the photos from the photoshoot of you and Rafael were at the bottom of the page. They were gorgeous, you had to admit. Granted you were both airbrushed to hell, but Rafael in a suit drove you nuts. Even if it was just on a screen. You dialed his number as you continued walking down the street.

“....Hola, mi amor. How is my pinguino feeling?”

“Well she’s currently feeling like she’s got the sexiest man in New York City,” You grinned.

“Oh really? And why’s that?” He asked you curiously.

“Check out the picture I’m texting you,” You grinned as you texted him one of the photos from the spread.

“Oh Christ…” You heard him mutter through the phone, causing you to giggle.

“Oh yes, you even have your own fangirls now,” You rolled your eyes with a smile.

“No I do NOT,” He argued in disbelief.

“Yeah I’d be careful leaving your office there counselor, a group of tweens might be waiting outside,”

“Oh my god...they’re breaching the doors!” He acted terrified, making you laugh harder.

“Oh I think I see one,” You whispered as if you were sneaking up on someone. “She’s holding a ‘Barba 4Eva’ poster board,”

“You better be kidding,” He warned.

“No, in fact I think she’s right outside your door,” You bit your tongue with a smile.

“Oh well I’d better call security then,” He chuckled as he sauntered over to his office door and swung it open.

“Oh my Gooodddddddd it’s Rafael Barba!!! The sexiest ADA in New York City!!” You giggled wildly, jumping into his arms like a crazed fan.

“I should definitely look into some armed guards at my door,” He laughed as he pulled you into his arms and kissed you.

“Oh most definitely, wouldn’t want to let the crazies in,” You nodded as you kissed him again.

“Well I think it’s too late for that…” He teased you while tousling your hair.

“Shut up,” You playfully hit his hands away.

“Speaking of crazy, how was therapy today mi amor?” He asked cheekily.

Wowwwww, sexy AND sensitive, how did I get so lucky?” You rolled your eyes. “Actually, she gave me homework,”

“Did she?” He inquired.

“Yes,” You suddenly got very serious. “She um, she told me I need to go see my parents,”

“...Your parents?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, something about needing to ‘apologize’ to them or some weird shrink thing like that,”

“....Do you think it will help?”

“I mean...” You sighed and looked out the window. “I don’t know. But I’d like to try,”

“Bueno,” He nodded walking closer to you and kissing the top of your head. “So are you going to go now or--?”

“Well I was kind of hoping you’d come with me,” You bit your lip. You didn’t know if asking him to come along on your shrink homework assignment was allowed, but you knew you couldn’t do this alone. Maybe that was the point.

“Really?”

“I mean, I met your family,” You half laughed, trying to make light.

“Right,” He nodded his head with a chuckle. “Well then, let’s go,”

“...Now?”

“Why not?” He started to walk towards the door.

“Don’t you have a job?” You pointed to his desk.

“Oh they just like to pay me to sit in here so nobody robs the place,” He joked as he grabbed his coat. “I have nothing going on today baby, they won’t miss me.”

“Okay then,” You shrugged uneasily. “Guess we’re going to Jersey,”

----------------

After a train ride and a taxi later, you arrived in your small town of Shallow Meadow.

“Christ Almighty, I knew Jersey was in the dark ages, but not even having Uber??” Rafael grumbled. He hadn’t been in the back of a dirty cab in such a long time, and now he remembered why.

“Alright Daddy Warbucks, chill,” You laughed as you started walking with him through town.

It was a quaint little town; one stop light, one grocery store, two bars, something out of an old movie really You know the movies where the car breaks down in the tiny shitty town and all the townspeople are flesh eating zombies or something. The people of Shallow Meadow were pretty much like that. Well, to you anyway.

“So why didn’t we just have the Mayberry Express drop us at the cemetery?”

“...Because we don’t have roads you can drive on up there,” You answered with a nervous smile.

“...Right,” He shook his head as he noticed people coming out of shops to stare at the two of you. “...Do I have some kind of weird sign on my back that says NEW YORKER or what?”

“No, but that thousand dollar suit screams “moneybags” out here,” You smirked. “Besides, they’re not staring at you they’re staring at me,”

“...What? How do you know that?”

As if it was answering his question, a girl with bright red hair dressed in farm clothing and holding a baby on her hip came sauntering up to the two of you.

“Well lookie here,” She smirked. “Miss Prissy Pants brought back herself a Prissy Papa,”

“Excuse you?” Rafael was taken aback by such rudeness by such a poorly dressed person.

“Marla back off,” You scowled at her. “Just because you’re upset I found treasure and you’re stuck with trash--”

“OH, is that what we are now? Trash?” Marla spat. “You have a lot of nerve coming back here and saying that, murderer,”

“WHOA,” Rafael stepped in front of you. “I’m sorry, what-- what did you just call her?”

“Did she not tell you the story? Oh no wait I bet she did, her version. The version where she’s the victim and we’re all just the villains. Isn’t that right, Prissy?” She glared at you.

“...I never said you were--” You tried defending yourself.

“Really?” She scoffed. “Then why did you not even bother to show up to your folks’ funeral? Their ONLY daughter, the ones they DIED for. Couldn’t even be bothered to leave her high rise in the city to pay respects to the parents she KILLED,”

“It wasn’t like that and you KNOW it, Marla! And why was I going to come back? The only two people left in this town that tolerated me were gone--” You got up in her face.

“AND WHY IS THAT, Y/N?” She got back in yours, her baby almost falling out of her arms.

“Alright lady I don’t know who you are, but you’re going to back the hell off my fiancée--”

“Oh good God, your fiancé?” Marla laughed. “You would find yourself a sugar daddy, since you killed yours,”

“Alright you know what we’re leaving--” You grabbed Rafael’s hand and stomped away towards a huge hill that had a sign reading “CEMETERY” at the top.

“I hope you’re heading up there to beg their forgiveness Y/N, ‘cuz you sure as hell ain’t getting any down here!” Marla yelled angrily after you.

--------------

“...Well I think we just figured out where your forgiveness issues came from,” Rafael tried making light of the situation.

“Ya think?” You nodded.

“This whole time,” Rafael shook his head. “This whole time I thought you just had it in your mind that you were responsible for their death. But-- but you had an entire town telling you that,”

“...Yeah,” You shrugged.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything, baby?” Rafael took your hand as the hill got steeper.

“Because I thought they were right, Rafael!” You said in a ‘duh’ tone. “Why would I tell you that an entire town thought that I was a murderer? That’s not really a selling point on a partner,”

“...You thought they were right?”

“...Well, yeah,” You nodded softly with a small smile.

“And now…?”

Before you could answer, you reached the entrance of the cemetery. Luckily it wasn’t that big; you were ashamed to admit you didn’t even know where they were buried. But you found them in a small corner under a shade tree. You walked up to their mutual headstone:

“Y/M/N AND Y/D/N: Beloved Husband And Wife, Mayor and First Lady.”

“...Mayor?” Rafael looked at you in surprise.

“Yeah, well--” You shrugged. “You see why they were so beloved, and I was the hellish daughter that killed them?”

“Y/N…” Rafael put a hand on your shoulder.

“I was supposed to want to ‘take over the city’, like I would ever want to be in charge of anything in this stupid backwards hick ass town,” You scoffed angrily, tears stinging your eyes.

“...But didn’t you say that your parents wanted you to go to Juliard? Pursue your dreams?” Rafael asked in confusion.

“They did! My grandparents-- they had a different view,” You shook your head. “The...the hierarchy here it’s-- well it’s not really a democracy,”

“...How so…?” Rafael raised an eyebrow.

“Because everyone just loved and accepted my family as, I don’t know, the ‘royal’ family?” You felt so stupid comparing your family to the Royal Family, but you didn’t know how else to explain it.

“The Mayor and First Lady titles were just...passed down, in my family. And not because they were dictators or something,” You quickly added the last part, you didn’t want Rafael to think any less of your family than he probably already did.

“People here are just...simple,” You sighed. “They accept things the way they are, they hate change. So it was just assumed that my family would always be... "the family’,”

“But you didn’t want that,” Rafael said again.

“Of course I didn’t want that!” You scoffed. “I didn’t want to just get a high school degree and then marry some ‘Cletus’ redneck man from here and have ‘heirs’ just to keep the family going!”

“But your parents understood that,” Rafael reiterated.

“It didn’t matter what my parents did or didn’t understand. My grandfather had more clout with the townspeople here,” You rolled your eyes. “My dad was the ‘mayor’, but his dad controlled everything. His father had been the mayor for over thirty years before he passed it onto my dad, who didn’t really want it either” You walked up to the headstone and ran your fingers over your father’s name.

“....So when he tried to ‘save’ me from that life, my grandpa wouldn’t hear it. He blamed me for...for manipulating them into giving me anything I wanted, like I was a spoiled little child. He blamed me for them giving me their life savings to go to Julliard instead of putting it back into the town treasury. Then he blamed me when they got killed, and he just reinstated himself as mayor! Which, I haven’t checked but I’ll be damned if he isn’t still rattling around his old ass bones in our house! He’ll just haunt this place forever!” You threw your hands up and looked down angrily at the town down below.

“Carino…” Rafael came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist from behind. You took his hands in yours and kissed them before turning to face him. You looked into his sparkling green understanding eyes for a moment, before directing your attention back at the headstone.

“....This is Rafael Barba, mama and daddy,” You pulled him gently forward. “We’re getting married soon,”

“...Nice to meet you folks,” Rafael said awkwardly.

“...Raffi they’re dead,” You smiled jokingly.

“Right, right,” He shook his head with a small laugh.

“...He’s a very good man, daddy. I know you always wanted that. And he’s very handsome, so you’ll have beautiful grandchildren mama, just like you wanted,” You smiled while Rafael softly chuckled.

“...I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to come,” You finally said with tears rolling down your cheeks. “I should have been here sooner,”

“But you’re here now,” Rafael softly rubbed your back.

“Yeah…” You nodded softly. This was the hard part.

“...I’m---I’m sorry, that I made you feel like horrible parents that night,” You tried not to cry, but the memories of that night flooded your memory the more you spoke.

“I’m sorry that you thought you needed to come see me, that you weren’t good parents if you didn’t,” Your lip trembled, you fell to your knees.

“...I’m sorry the last words you heard from me were ‘I hate you’,” You finally broke down sobbing.

“Y/N…” Rafael knelt down next to you and held you in his arms as you cried.

“Do you get now why...why I don’t think I deserve you? Why don't I think I deserve anything? Why I think I have to take everything? Fake everything? Because I am such a terrible person my own parents died thinking I hated them because I was that horrible to them!”

“They didn’t think you hated them, carino,” Rafael rocked you back and forth. “They knew you loved them, I know they did,”

“You know you’re probably right, Rafael. But it--I needed them to hear it,” You nodded at the gravestone.

“And?”

“...And I feel a lot better,” You smiled as Rafael wiped tears from your face.

“Really?”

“Yeah…Really,” You chuckled. “I guess that therapist really knows what she’s doing,”

“She should for the amount of money I pay her,” Rafael shook his head with a laugh as he helped you stand up.

“...Thank you for doing this with me, amor,” You sniffled, pressing your forehead against his.

“Of course, penguino,” He kissed you softly. “And, for what it’s worth--” He added as you two walked back down the hill towards town.

“I think that if your parents were alive, they would be proud of you,”

“Oh, I know my mother would take one look at you and be DAMN proud,” You both laughed at that.

“And I also think they would be appalled to see how their townspeople treat their daughter,” He glared at the town.

“Yeah well,” You shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Not anymore,”

“I’m glad to hear it,” He took your hands as the sun started to go down in your sleepy little town. “Now can we please get back to the city before I catch something out here?”

“Yes,” You giggled, staring at him lovingly.

“Let’s go home,”

[darling-i-read-it]

Fromage

1x08

Hannibal Lecter x reader x Will Graham 

Hannibal Re-Write Series Masterlist

Word Count: 2.8k 

Warnings: spoilers for hannibal, murder, snapping someones neck, 

Author’s Note: You have no idea how pleasing it was to completely erase that scene of Will kissing Alana from existence. 

I took lines directly from the script so some may seem familiar.

Official Episode Summary : When the BAU investigates a murder in which the victim's vocal chords are exposed, Hannibal learns the killer acted to gain his attention; Will turns to Alana as a distraction from the noises in his head.

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director 

Tag List: @llperfectsymmetryll​

(not my gif) 

You sat on the ground at the bottom of the bed, thumbing through the new book that Will had gotten you for Christmas. You were already mostly finished with it and it was very good so far. Will laid on his side beside you, working with an old motor. The dogs were sprawled around you in various stances and places.

You didn’t even notice when Will stopped, you were so engrossed in your book. You didn’t notice anything until he spoke.

“Do you hear that?” You put your head up and leaned hard into hearing as you tried to find a noise out of the ordinary. The steady snores of some of the dogs, Will’s sock covered foot tapping the ground. Nothing weird.

“I don’t hear anything,” you said. He stood up and looked out the front door window and turned to you.

“You don't hear that whining?” 

You listened again and still heard nothing.

“No. Is it faint?” 

“I’m gonna go walk around out front and see if I see anything,” he said and you nodded. He grabbed his coat and you heard the front door click shut. You listened again and still, heard nothing. You tried not to think anything of it and went back to your book.

A few minutes later Will came back inside and you perked up to see if he had any dog with him.

“So?” “It stopped. I think I might call Alana or someone to come look with me,” he said absentmindedly.

“I could just come.”

“Don’t you have work?”

“Hannibal won’t kill me if I’m a few minutes late. I think he likes the both of us enough,” you promised and got up. “What, do you want Alana to come instead of me?” you asked. It wasn’t judgy or playful. He couldn’t tell what it was. 

“No you can just come. It’s cold, grab a jacket.” 

You walked outside together through the barren lands outside of the house. You liked Alana, you really did, but you also were pretty sure that Will used to be in love with her before you met. You glanced at him, your hands shoved in your pockets. He was wearing a beanie that you liked but it covered his curls which you weren't a fan of.

“Why are you thinking about Alana?” Will asked.

“How did you know I was?” you whispered sheepishly.

“I know that look. Like you’re trying to have the courage to ask me something you might not like the answer to. The last time you did that you asked me about my crime scene thing.” You nodded. 

“I’m thinking about her because I know you two used to be close.”

“She was close with Hannibal. Actually, I’m pretty sure they almost dated so if you’re going to worry about a boyfriend worry about him,” he said. 

“Wow, touchy much?” you asked but he nudged you playfully. “I don’t like Hannibal that way.”

“I think Hannibal looks at us both in a different way than he does with other people,” he muttered. “As for Alana, I don’t like her the way he likes us,” Will digressed. You nodded.

“As long as I don’t hear about the two of you making out behind my back,” you said. He shook his head.

“When I did like her, before I met you, she thought I was too broken to date,” he said. You scoffed.

“Yeah well I can disagree there with proper evidence to back it up.” He laughed and nodded, putting his arm around your shoulder. 

“I don’t think we’re going to find anything. You should go to work.” You nodded.

“Walk back with me?”

“Sure.”

-

Hannibal sat in therapy, across from Bedelia. He clasped his hands on his crossed leg. 

“I worry I’ve made Franklyn feel powerless. His obsession with me is interfering with his progress,” he explained. “He wants to be my friend.” 

“Are these the opportunities for friendship you spoke about?” she asked, referring to a prior session. 

“I’m considering referring him to another doctor.”

“Referrals can be complicated. I referred you to another psychiatrist. You refused,” Bedelia said. 

“I’m more tenacious than Franklyn,” Hannibal promised.

“Why were you so tenacious?” Hannibal considered this a moment. 

“I feel protective of you.” This admission makes Bedelia feel uncomfortable but she hides it well.

“Who else do you feel protective of?” she questioned, eager to avert the subject smoothly. Hannibal thought about his answer here too, careful where he tredded.

“I suppose I feel protective of those who support me as a colleague, psychiatrist and as a human being like you do.”

“And the other names that come to mind are?” Hannibal knew the answer. He also knew Bedelia also knew the answer he was thinking of.

“I suppose Will and Y/N,” he stated simply. “I’m not sure.” She nodded, realizing how his demeanor changed when you and Will were brought into the conversation.

“The Grahams.”

“They aren’t married,” Hannibal corrected politely. 

“But that’s what they’re referred to as, from Will’s colleagues,” she said simply. He nodded.

“I suppose.” 

Although he knew it to be true he couldn’t ignore the feeling in his chest of distaste. ‘The Grahams’. It felt wrong even if he thought of the two of you as a unit. He sighed.

-

Hannibal approached you at your desk.

“Would you care to go on a trip to a string shop with me?” he questioned. 

“In an attempt to widen my cultural mind?” you asked. “Or simply to go.” He shrugged.

“I would like to meet the man who runs the shop. You don’t have to come if you’re busy.” you shook your head.

“I’d love to come. I don’t know anything about strings though.” 

Hannibal spoke a bit about his intent in the car but most of it went over your head. You nodded along and when he pulled the car up to a small string shop you were amazed that this was all the hype was about.

Hannibal got out of the car and opened your door for you.

“Ever the gentleman,” you teased. He nodded proudly as the two of you walked inside. You looked around a bit.

“Keep your gloves on,” Hannibal said. You had on your winter gloves and he had on surgical type ones so you didn’t question it, just nodded in agreement. A man walked in and you recognized him although it took you a moment to place him. 

“You’re Franklyn’s therapist. Dr. Lecter. Nice to see you again,” Tobias said. He turned to you. “And you’re the girl who has no romantic interest to him.” He shook both of your hands and you nodded, smiling politely.

“Tobias right?” you asked. 

“Yes.” 

“Your strings are all gut,” Hannibal pointed out.

“I also carry steel and polymer strings, if you prefer,” Tobias said. He walked around the room but you stood close to Hannibal, just in case. 

“I prefer gut. Harps found in the tombs of Thebes strung with gut still made music after 2000 years. Wonderful music you were making,” Hannibal said. 

“I didn’t hear you ring the bell.”

You looked between the two of them. You wondered why Hannibal had brought you. Perhaps it was simply because he wanted company despite you not knowing anything about strings. 

You stood near him and he watched each of your movements in the side of his eye. 

-

You walked in the door to your home tiredly after getting back from the string shop. You were exhausted from trying to follow the conversation but Hannibal said at the end he appreciated you coming so you must have done some good as a buffer of sorts. 

You looked to your left and immediately saw the large hole in your wall, just above the fireplace. You put your bag down. Will stood in front of it, holding a hammer. He turned to you.

“I can explain.”

“You better start. Like right now.” 

You walked up to the wall and stuck your arm through it.

“I thought I heard an animal inside,” he said.

“What kind of animal?”

“Might’ve been a racoon.”

“Might’ve been?” you questioned, turning around. You weren’t angry per say but rather inconvenienced. Will would likely want to fix it up himself so you wouldn’t have to pay anybody but still. It was a hole in your wall. 

“By the time I knocked a hole in the chimney, it crawled out the top.” You let out a sigh.

“Well, at least it got out,” you muttered. You took the hammer from his hands and waved it a bit. “I’m keeping this.” He nodded. 

“You’re late,” he said.

“I was at a string shop with Hannibal.” 

“What?” You walked over to the kitchen, putting the hammer away in one of the bottom cupboards. 

“A string shop. With Hannibal,” you said slower.

“Huh,” he muttered.

“Why?”

“There was a murder today, some guy played some other guys vocal chords like a cello. Just odd Hannibal went over there today.” You shrugged.

“He needed an instrument fixed, I tagged along.” You walked back over to the wall. “Although I wish I had stayed back to talk you out of doing that.” 

“I’ll fix it,” he promised.

“I know. And it’s okay really. You were just trying to help an animal which I understand,” you said simply. Even so, your eyes lingered on the chimney hole and you had to wonder if there was even an animal to begin with.

“I was actually going to go to Hannibal’s,” he said. 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah I wanna talk about this murder with him. You mind?” You shook your head. 

“Of course not.” He nodded and grabbed the keys.

“I’ll be back before you’re in bed!” he called.

Then you were alone in your home that had a hole in it’s wall. You sighed.

-

You were in the office. It was just another day. Hannibal had an afternoon appointment with Franklyn and you were to wait in the waiting room working. There was nothing about the day that seemed eventful.

Will called you earlier in the day saying he was going to check out a string shop owner, teasingly. He didn’t elaborate but you worried for him a bit, naturally, as you worked.

It wasn’t until a little way into Franklyns session that you heard the door open. You looked up and noticed Tobias walk in. His ear was bloody. You stood up.

“Can I help you Tobias?” He shook his head and grabbed your arm, dragging you out from behind the desk. You panicked and started to move away but his grip tightened.

“Go inside,” he said. He shoved you in the office and you stumbled in the patient entrance. Hannibal and Franklyn stood up. Hannibal was keenly aware of your presence. 

“Tobias?” Franklyn asked. 

“I came to say goodbye Franklyn.” You were quiet but Hannibal’s eyes caught yours and he gave you a clear ‘stay still’ warning with his eyes. 

“What do you mean goodbye? Oh my God, is that your blood?”

“I just killed two men. The FBI came to question me about the murder.” Your head immediately snapped to him.

“What?” Your heart raced so fast you could hear it in your ears. Had he killed Will? Was Will dead? 

“You have to turn yourself in. This plane is going down. Let it be a controlled descent. You can get back up in the air again. There is rehabilitation for everyone,” Franklyn said but you barely heard it.

“Franklyn, Y/N, I want you to leave now,” Hannibal said steadily. He watched your eyes. You were worried for Will. He knew the feeling. 

“Stay right where you are,” Tobias stated. 

“You’ve done something horrible and I know you wish to god you didn’t, but you did and there’s nothing you can do to change that. Only thing you can change is your future. You’re probably scared. Probably feel like you’re all alone,” Franklyn said, taking a step forward to try and calm Tobias.

“I’m not alone,” Tobias said. 

Hannibal caught your eye. He mouthed something to you, very subtlety. ‘Turn around.’ You shook and did as you were told, turning around very carefully so that Tobias didn’t snap. 

“That’s right. You’re not alone. Nothing has happened in our friendship that you and I can’t recover from.” There was a snap. A body fell to the floor and you turned around. Franklyn was between Tobias and Hannibal, in arms reach of both of them.

“Go outside Y/N,” Hannibal said and you were gone before Tobias could reach out and grab you. You stood outside and frantically called the police, your heart still pounding, tears threatening to fall. You heard commotion in the room and waited outside, hoping it was Hannibal who came to get you. Your mind was scrambled.

The door opened and Hannibal stood in front of you. You rushed toward him, hugging him tightly. He hugged you back. He had blood all over him and you could see a dead Tobias on the other side of the room.

“If Will is dead I was scared I would lose you too,” you whispered. 

“Come inside. We’ll wait for Jack to come,” he said quietly. You nodded and let him lead you to the desk where you sat down together. You sat on the floor in front of him and you were quiet, the only noise being yours and his shuddered breaths. 

Eventually the FBI came and you stood, just beside Hannibal in case you needed someone to catch you in the worst event. All you could hear was Will’s voice in the phone call, laughing at you and joking that you had been to see a man who killed people. You shook, your hand tight on Hannibal’s shoulder. 

Jack walked inside and behind him followed Will. You let out a sigh of relief, barely able to hold back tears as he walked over quickly. He hugged you firstly and you buried your face in his neck, inhaling every part of him that you had worried you would never feel again. 

“I was worried you were dead,” Hannibal said as you pulled away.

“You had reason to worry,” Will muttered, demonstrating his wounded arm. You stood between the men and sat on the desk, still shaken. Will put his hand on yours as he leaned against the desk as well.

“Tobias Budge kills two Baltimore Police Officers, nearly kills an FBI Special Agent, and after all that his first stop is your office,” Jack said. 

“He came to kill my patient,” Hannibal said. 

“Hannibal’s patient told him he suspected a friend was involved with the murder at the symphony. Hannibal told me and I investigated. I got him involved,” Will explained. “Your patient. Is that who Tobias was serenading?” Will asked. 

“I don’t know. Franklyn knew more than he was telling me. He told Mr. Budge he didn’t have to kill anymore. Then he broke Franklyn’s neck. Then he attacked me,” Hannibal said. 

“And you killed him,” Jack said.

“Yes.”

“And this is how it happened?” Jack asked, looking at you. You were put in the spotlight and you were unprepared. Your mind flashed to Hannibal telling you to turn around, as though he knew Franklyn was going to die the second he did. 

“Yes,” you muttered. Jack nodded and moved off to study the crime scene. 

“I feel like I’ve dragged you both into my world,” Will muttered.

“I got here on my own,” Hannibal stated. 

“And I would have been here eventually,” you promised.

“I appreciate the company,” Hannibal said and you glanced at each other, shaky smiles all around.

1x09

[jaycewrites-192000]

Growl: Ch. 11

Warnings: None

Tag List: @theravencawsatmidnight @etroman @kaariqueen

(What I write about Kyotani's dad is completely made up)

It was Saturday afternoon, meaning it was time for Kyotani's punishment. But to him, it wouldn't be as nearly as bad of a punishment since Y/n was with him. She really didn't have to be here, but she was anyway. The two got to work at cleaning, Kyotani would mop the floors while Y/n would clean the windows. "You know Ken, this is a really weird first date." Y/n chuckled as she sprayed more window cleaner on the dirty window of the gym door. Kyotani's heart fluttered at the new nick name. "Yeah? Well, guess I'll have to really make up for it huh?" He said.

"Yes you will. I'm a lady, a lady shouldn't have to clean smudged windows." Y/n said, placing her hand over her chest in a classy way. "Shame on you." Kyotani rolled his eyes. "Pardon me madam. But you could have stayed home." He countered. "And miss out on time with my boyfriend? As if. And I never said this was a bad date." She moves onto another set of windows after finishing the first. "How sweet." Kyotani smirks.

"Oh hey, I bet your mom will be thrilled to know that we're together now. She was really laying it on thick how much she wanted us to date." Kyotani paused. That was right, his mom was desperately trying to get him and Y/n together. Well, mission accomplished then. "Yeah, it's going to be so annoying to hear from here how she was right. And my sister is just gonna be a bi-a jerk about it." Kyotani caught himsef.

Y/n giggled and made her way over to him. "How about after we finish this, you take me over to your place? We can all celebrate together." Before Kyotani could give her an ok, he stopped and thought about something. "Ken?" Y/n tilts her head. "Oh, uh, not today." He muttered. Y/n raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

Kyotani hesitated before answering. "My dad is visiting tonight..." Y/n blinked a few times. 'Does...he not have a good relationship with his father?' She thinks. The last time his father was brought up in conversation, he acted this was too. "Ken, do you and him...is there something going on?" She didn't exactly know how to word it other than that. "We don't hate each other, if that's what you think." He tells her.

"Then what? If you don't mind saying." She asked. Kyotani sighs and sets aside the mop he held. Y/n walked behind him and sat on the stage part of the gym. She pats the spot next to her, Kyotani walked over and sat next to her. "He left when I turned 15. My mom and him just kinda...fell apart. And they got a divorce."

"Oh. Kentaro, I'm so sorry." Y/n placed her hand on top of his. "It's fine...I mean, I don't hate either of them for it. And they don't hate each other either it's just...weird you know? He only ever comes by ever few weeks during the weekends. Other than that, I get phone calls and letters from him. He moved to another city so, we don't see each other often. So you can imagine how awkward it gets." Y/n nods as she listens. She looks down at her lap and lets out a soft sigh.

"I wish my situation was even slightly like yours." Kyotani looks at her confused. "Divorced parents too?" Y/n nods. "Yeah but...me and my father...we don't talk at all. It's rare I even get a phone call from the deadbeat." Her eyebrows furrow, and a light scowl formed on her lips. "I'm sorry." She shakes her head. "This isn't about me."

"No it's fine. I've already explained my story. Go ahead." Kyotani insists. "Ok well...He left me and my mother when I was only 10. Mom caught him cheating with some woman he worked with. And apparently, he had been a bit of a drinker before I was born. After that, he would only drink now and then but whenever he did, me and mom didn't see much of him. After my mom found about the affair, she divorced him. And I hadn't seen him since."

Y/n continued. "My father was the one with the well paying job so, after the scandal he was fired. That's when my mom started working a lot more, so we don't talk as much as we use to." By the end of the story, Y/n was crying. "I'm sorry...I haven't really talked about this so..." Kyotani wiped her tears and held her close. "It's fine, you don't have to be sorry." He said in a hushed tone. Y/n laughs weakly, trying to lighten the mood. "Wow, when did cleaning the gym turn into a therapy session?"

Kyotani chuckles lightly and stroked the back of her head. "Since now I guess." Suddenly Kyotani's phone started to buzz. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the screen. "Speak of the fucking devil." It was his father. "He can wait." He was about to send him to voicemail before Y/n stopped him. "No it's ok. Go ahead. I'll get back to cleaning while I wait." Y/n hopped up and grabbed her cleaning supplies again. "You sure?" Kyotani asked.

"Yep!" Y/n beamed before getting back to cleaning. Kyotani looked at the screen again, sighed and then answered. "Hey dad..."

Y/n could catch small bits of the conversation. "Yeah....yep....Wait, really? Oh uh, I can't just yet....I'm at the school I uh, got into a fight so they're making me clean....I know...I know. Yeah ok, I'll be there ok? Alright bye." Kyotani sighed heavily before putting his phone away. "Looks like my dad decided to come early. Damn it said he wouldn't be here until later tonight." Y/n turns to him. "Was he upset? That you had gotten in trouble?" She asks.

"Yeah, but it's whatever. I'll just have to hear more about it later. Fuck." Kyotani leans against a wall. Y/n set aside the cleaning stuff and strides over to him. "Sorry." Kyotani looks at her. "You need to stop apologizing for things that aren't you're fault." He pets her head. "Besides, I did it for you. It's well worth the lecture." He then leans down and kisses her head softly. "Mhm." Y/n blushes brightly. Then a thought suddenly made it's self present in her head. She fiddles with her hands for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to ask this.

"Ken?" Kyotani hums. "Um...would you be opposed to me...meeting your father?" She mumbles the last part of her sentence. Kyotani eyes winded, he wasn't sure how to take that. You already met his mother and sister, so meeting his father shouldn't be such a bad idea. But, he wanted to spare her the awkwardness the night was sure to bring. "Y/n..." He says with a sigh.

Y/n shook her head. "N-nevermind. It's ok. That sounded a bit pushy, sorry." Kyotani scowled slightly. "What did I say about apologizing for things you shouldn't be sorry for?" He rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes looking everywhere but her as he thinks. "Ok. You can come meet him."

"Really?" Y/n asks. "Yeah, just, don't say I didn't warn you." Y/n smiles and hugs him tightly. "Thank you Ken!" Kyotani couldn't help but smile and hug her back. "Don't mention it."

That night, Y/n were heading home with Kyotani. Unlike before, an overwhelming wave of nervousness came over her. She was actually going to be meeting his entire family this time. Before Kyotani could bring her to his home, she made a quick stop at her place to change into something more suitable. Kyotani told her it wouldn't be necessary, but she was not about to show up at his place and look a hot mess in front of his family. On the way there, she kept fiddling with heer outfit, making sure it wasn't wrinkled.

"You're nervous." Kyotani spoke up. Y/n paused her actions momentarily. "Yeah, no duh. I want to make a good impression. I know I've met your mother and sister already, but now I'm meeting your father too. And, we're dating so that makes this twice as important." She bring her hands down at her sides. "I want them to like me." Kyotani reached down and held Y/n's hand. "Come on, you're worrying over nothing. You know how much my mom likes you. And my sister does too, she just doesn't want to say."

"And as for my father, who cares if he likes you or not? I like you, that's all that matters. I wouldn't have fell in love with you, if I thought you were a shitty person. There is so much about you that I love. The way you smile, the way you laugh, you always know how to cheer me up, you make me feel loved Y/n. Not to mention you're really cute." Y/n's face turned bright red at his words, he was also a little red. "That should be enough for them. And if it's not, then screw 'em."

Y/n laugh. "That's a little mean, don't you think?" Kyotani smirked and let go of her hand, so he could snaked his arm around her waist. "Not when it comes to you." Before the two teens knew it, they had arrived at Kyotani's home. Kyotani glanced at Y/n, who was holding his hand tightly. "You ready?" He asks. Y/n nods, a determined smile on her face. "I'm ready." Kyotani knocked on the door, and waited. Shortly after, the door opened, revealing a tall man with the same buzz cut as Kyotani, only his was black and not blonde. His golden eyes, that matched Kyotani's too, fell from him to Y/n.

Assuming that was Kyotani's father, Y/n bowed her head in respect. "Nice to meet you sir." She greets him politely. "I apologize for suddenly showing up, but I thought it was time I formally met Kentaro's father." She looks back up, half expecting the same glare Kyotani had when she first met him. But instead, there was a warm and kind smile. "Ah, so this is the famous Y/n Kaori was talking about! Nice to meet you too young lady, the name's Botan." He held out his hand, Y/n smiled softly before taking it. "And just as pretty as I thought she was. Nice work son." Kyotani's dad gave his son a thumbs up.

Kyotani rolled his eyes, cheeks red. "Yeah yeah." He muttered. "Let's just go inside." Kyotani's dad lead the two in where they were greeted by Kaori and Natsuki. "Y/n! What a surprise! Come on in!" Kaori waved her hand, motioning her to come closer. "Hey." Natsuki nods at her before turning her attention back to her phone. Y/n couldn't help but wonder just what kept her glued to that thing. A boyfriend? Girlfriend? A stupidly overrated meme?

"See, didn't I tell you she was beautiful?" Kaori says to Botan. "Yep! Our son sure knows how to bag a good one!" He laughs. "You two...cut it out!" Kyotani hides his red face. 'Wow...they're so alike...' Y/n thought with an awkward smile. "Thank you for having me."

"Like I said, you're welcomed here anytime Y/n." Kaori smiles. "Now, have a seat. Dinner is almost ready. I hope you like (favorite food)!" Y/n's smile brightens. "I do, thank you so much!" It was a nice gesture, but she couldn't help but wonder just how Kaori knew that was her favorite meal. Maybe it was just insane luck? Whichever, she was excited!

"So you're really serious about my bro, huh?" Natsuki glances up at her. Y/n nods, placing her hand on Kyotani's. "I am. I intend on staying with him as long as possible." Natsuki sighs and turns her attention back to her phone. "Eh, hope you like dumbasses then, cause you're stuck with one."

"Natsuki..." Kyotani grits his teeth together. "What, it's true." Natsuki smirks. "Alright you two, no more fighting. We have a guest, we should make her feel welcomed." Botan says trying to calm the tension between the two siblings. "Oh I do feel welcomed, you guys are really the nicest family I've ever met. I'm a little jealous..." Y/n admits shyly.

"Well Y/n, you should start considering yourself part of the family now. Anyone who is willing to date our hot headed son, is family. Especially when they're so polite!" Kaori adds. "Now, who's ready for dinner?"

Y/n felt her chest fill with warmth, she hadn't felt this way in a long time. She had found herself a loving boyfriend, who loves her just as much as she loves him, and to top it all off, his family was so welcoming. It really felt like she was accepted into their lives as one of them. Who knows, maybe one day she really will become part of the family, if Kyotani decides to pop that oh so pretty question, and gives her his last name.

Until then, she was happy with what was right in front of her. And she didn't plan on letting go anytime soon.

Previous | Next

[suituuup]

Could do where Beca actually joined Barden two years later than she should’ve because she initially joined the army, but was sent home after she lost both her legs in a horrific battle. She meets Chloe but is reluctant to have any kind of a relationship because she is so insecure about her body.

so this is what it feels like

rating: m

word count: 3,6k

ao3 link

*

Barden University. 

Beca looks at the sign and heavies a deep sigh as the car rolls forward, stopping at the curb a few minutes later. The driver steps out and takes her wheelchair out of the trunk, setting it up next to the open passenger door. 

“Need any help?” 

“I got it,” Beca mutters, shuffling to the edge of the seat and easily transferring to the chair. “Can you just hand me my bag? Thanks.” 

She sets it on her lap and starts rolling away towards the main building, catching people staring. “What are you lookin’ at?” Beca spits out, glaring at a group of boys who instantly glance away. 

She doesn’t want to be here. She was perfectly happy across the world, working for the Army. She had friends there, a family. A landmine took that away from her, as well as her two legs.

She was flown back to the States after an emergency amputation and moved in with her dad and the step monster. The following year was rough, as Beca dealt with both depression and PTSD. Numerous therapy sessions helped her figure how to live again and slowly dragged her out of her grieving state. She eventually agreed to her dad’s suggestion about going to college, figuring she couldn’t stay hauled up in the house forever. 

She picked English as a major, as she’s sort of a book nerd, but she’s got no idea of what kind of job she wants to do. 

She likes music and enjoys messing around on her computer making mixes but… it won’t ever be good enough for her to actually make a living out of it. 

The first few days of classes are uneventful, except for the way people keep looking at her. Beca figures they’ll get used to it sooner or later, but for now, she glares.  

She hangs out at the library a lot or at the coffee shop on campus to work on her mixes. 

She’s at the library one afternoon, rolling up an aisle to get the book she copied the reference from on one of the computers.

“Damn it,” she mutters when she realizes it’s on one of the higher shelves, which are out of reach. 

“Need any help?”

Normally, Beca would say I got it, because she hates relying on other people, but one, she really doesn’t have it and two, the words die in her throat when she takes a good look at the stranger. 

A redhead, with the most vibrant eyes and smile Beca’s ever seen. 

Her brain eventually reboots and she blushes slightly out of embarrassment for taking so long to reply. “Um yeah. Could you grab me that green book on the top shelf?” 

“Sure thing,” the stranger chirps, standing on the tips of her toes to grab it. “Here you go.”

Beca takes it, setting it on her lap. “Thanks.”

She’s about to roll away, when the girl speaks again. “Would you be interested in joining an acapella group?”

Beca’s eyebrow shoots up. “Aren’t you supposed to be able to dance, too?”

“Not necessarily. I mean, we could figure something out, if you’re interested.”

“I’m not. I don’t— I don’t even sing.”

“Oh. Okay. Too bad.” She winks. “See ya around.”

She continues on her way, and Beca on hers. 

Beca sees her again two weeks later, at the Barden Beanery. She’s stuck outside because the damn automatic door won’t work and of course it’s starting to rain. 

“For fucks sake,” she grumbles, hitting the button once more. 

“I’ll get it for you.”

Beca looks over her shoulder to see that same girl from the library heading over. “Oh. Hey there, acapella nerd,” she teases as she manœuvres her chair to roll into the coffee shop. “Thanks.”

“No worries,” she replies, smiling softly. “Wow, this place is packed.”

Beca nods towards a table in the corner. “I think those guys are leaving.”

“Nice catch. Mind if we share?” 

Beca shrugs. “Yeah, sure.” 

She tucks her chair in the free space at the table and opens her backpack to pull out her laptop, ordering a black coffee and a slice of carrot cake when the waitress comes by. 

She and the redhead work in silence for a while, Beca with her headphones on (one ear left uncovered) as she messes around with her mixes. She soon loses herself into the music, bopping her head up and down to the rhythm.

“What?” She asks when she catches the other girl staring, blue-grey eyes peering at her above her laptop. 

“Nothing,” she murmurs, a serene smile on her features. “I was just wondering what your name was.”

“Oh, right. I’m Beca.”

“Beca,” Chloe repeats, nodding. “I’m Chloe.”

“Cool to meet you, Chloe the nerd.”

“I’m not a nerd!” She cries, laughing.

“You’re in an acapella group, so you’re a nerd by definition.”

Chloe rolls her eyes. “Fine.”

They work together for another hour, Chloe bidding her goodbye when she has to get to rehearsals. Beca sticks around until 7, heading back to her hall to head dinner.

“Hi!” 

Beca looks up to see Chloe popping down on the seat across from her at that same table as three weeks ago. It’s a week later, and the place is near empty this time around, so Beca’s confused as to why she decided to sit with her. 

“Um, hello?” It looks like Chloe’s here to stay, and Beca can’t say she minds? Weird. “You look happy.”

“I am! The Bellas and I are competing this weekend.”

“Competing?” Beca cocks an eyebrow. “So this acapella thing is pretty serious, then?”

“Totes!” Totes? “Our plan is to get selected for the National championships in NYC.”

“Wow. Well, I hope you guys make it.”

“Thanks! You should come check us out if you don’t have anything planned.”

Beca scrunches you her nose. “I don’t know how I feel about being in the same room as so many nerds.”

A laugh flits past Chloe’s lips. “What are you working on anyway?”

“Um, mixes. I mix music.”

Chloe’s eyes adorably pop wider. “You mix music?? That’s so cool. Can I listen?”

The normal Beca would have said no in a heartbeat. She didn’t plan on making any friends, the last year’s events making her more withdrawn and more of a loner. But there’s something about this Chloe, something Beca can’t pinpoint, that makes it impossible for her to say no. 

“Yeah sure, if you want to.”

Beaming, Chloe switches chairs to sit next to Beca as Beca takes off her headphones to hand them over. She selects her Titanium + Bulletproof mashup and hits play, taking a sip from her drink as it starts. 

The look on Chloe’s face as she listens, one of pure enjoyment, makes Beca’s chest swell with something unfamiliar. 

“This is amazing!” Chloe nearly shouts, shrinking in her seat when people’s heads turn towards her. In a lower tone, she adds, “Sorry.”

Beca chuckles. “Yeah? You like it?”

Chloe takes off the headphones. Her eyes are sparkling, the same way Beca’s do when she listens to something she’s really into. “I really do. Have you thought about making a career out of music?”

Beca shrugs. “I did, yeah. I thought about going to LA, but my dad didn’t like that idea because he doesn’t believe there’s a career to be made. He wants me to try college first, for at least a year. I think he’s still pissed about me enlisting in the Army without telling him.” 

“How long were you in the Army for?” 

“Only a couple years,” Beca says, motioning towards her legs next. “Then this happened.” 

Chloe grimaces. “I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah, well…” her shoulder lifts in a half shrug. It took her while to reach that state of mind; to stop being angry at the world for what she was going through. She learned to accept her handicap and to live with it, even if some days prove to be really fucking difficult. “It is what it is.” 

She doesn’t know why, but that weekend, she finds herself attending that acapella competition to check out the Bellas. The songs suck big time and the outfits are questionable, but Beca is too enthralled by Chloe’s beautiful voice to really care about the rest. 

“You came!” Chloe exclaims in surprise when she spots Beca at the end of the show. She’s bending down to hug Beca before Beca can protest, and Beca feels her face heat up as she awkwardly pats her back. 

“Congrats on being selected,” she says when Chloe pulls away, her lips stretching in her first genuine smile in a long while. 

“Thanks! What are you doing later?” 

“Um… nothing planned. Why?” 

“Wanna order pizza and watch something on Netflix?” 

Chloe’s question makes Beca hesitate for a few beats. She truly doesn’t know what Chloe sees in her, as it’s not like Beca has made any efforts to strike up a friendship, but she has to admit that spending time with Chloe is nice. 

“Sure, yeah.” 

The night turns out to be one of the best Beca’s had in a while. She doesn’t remember laughing that much since before, and it’s all thanks to Chloe and her dorky sense of humor and positive energy. They hang out more over the next few weeks, either at the coffee shop or at Beca’s dorm, and Beca quickly develops a crush on her new friend, berating herself as soon as she acknowledges her feelings. 

Even if Chloe does feel the same way, which is unlikely, it’s not like she’d go out with someone like Beca. 

“I need your help,” Chloe blurts one day, plopping down across Beca at their usual table. 

“What’s up?” Beca asks, glancing up from her book. 

“Our set list sucks. There’s no way we’ll make it through to the ICCA’s.” She sighs, then nibbles on her bottom lip for a couple seconds. “I was thinking… maybe you could make us a setlist? We’ll totes pay you.” 

Beca rolls her eyes. “You don’t have to pay me. But would Aubrey be okay with me helping?” 

“She will be, I’ll talk to her.” 

They spend the next few hours brainstorming songs, eating pizza and drinking root beer on the floor of Beca’s room. 

“How ‘bout Don’t You Forget About Me? It’s a cool song,” Beca suggests; they’ve been stuck on the third song for over thirty minutes. “So while a few of you sing the end of Price Tag, the lead could start singing Won’t you, come see about me, I’ll be alone, dancing you know it baby,” Beca sang, faltering when she caught Chloe’s weird look. “What?” 

“You can sing!” She nearly shouts, her jaw dropped as she shoved Beca’s shoulder. “What the fuck, you told me you couldn’t!” 

Beca chuckles. “I was afraid you might harass me if I told you I could,” she pauses, eyeing Chloe. “Am I wrong?” 

Chloe grimaces, blushing slightly. “No. We were really desperate at the start of the year.” She shakes her head. “I can’t believe how good you sound.” 

Embarrassment wrinkles the bridge of Beca’s nose. “I’m pretty rusty. Your voice’s beautiful, though.” 

“Thanks, Becs.” 

They work on the arrangement for another two hours, and just like that it gets past midnight, but it’s done. 

“We did it!” Chloe cheers, throwing her arms up. She hugs Beca tightly, almost making her topple over from the force of it. “You’re the best.” 

“Jesus, Chlo,” Beca laughs, hugging back and momentarily melting into the soothing embrace, kind of never wanting to let go. 

Chloe’s eyes flicker down to her mouth when she pulls away, and Beca barely has time to inhale before Chloe’s lips are on hers, soft and tender and just… right. Beca loses herself into the kiss for a second; a blissful second where her mind goes blank, before her insecurities slam into her brain at once and wrench her out of the liplock. 

“I’m-- I’m sorry, I thought--” 

“Well you thought wrong,” Beca mutters, gaze fastened on her thighs. She can’t. She can’t start something and have Chloe change her mind when she realizes she could do much better than Beca. “Can you go, please?” 

“I… okay.” 

Chloe swallows and hastily gathers her stuff, the door soon clicking shut behind her. 

Beca doesn’t see her for a week; she doesn’t go to the coffee shop, preferring to stay hauled up in her room to work through her frustration. 

A knock at the door cuts through her thoughts one night as Beca is chilling on her bed messing around with more mixes.

“One sec,” she calls out, shuffling to the edge of the mattress and transferring herself into her wheelchair. She rolls to the door and unlocks it, pulling it open as she backs up to make room. Chloe is standing on the other side. “Hey.” 

“Hi,” she says, her greeting uncharacteristically quiet. “Can I come in?” 

Beca nods and backs up some more, waiting for Chloe to slip inside. 

“Aubrey loved the setlist,” she murmurs with a soft, albeit nervous smile. “She says thank you.” 

Beca nods. “That’s good, I’m glad.” 

A sigh puffs past Chloe’s lips. “I’m really sorry about the other day. I shouldn’t-- I shouldn’t have kissed you.” 

Beca wets her lips, finding the courage to meet Chloe’s eyes. “I shouldn’t have snapped. You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just--” she sighs, struggling to find the right words. 

“Just what?” Chloe presses gently. 

“You don’t-- you don’t want this.” 

Chloe tilts her head to the side. “What are you talking about?” 

“Look at me,” Beca raises her voice, motioning towards her amputated limbs. Tears burn behind her eyes as the frustration that’s been bubbling up inside of her finally bursts out. “I don’t have legs, Chlo! I can’t walk, I can’t dance, I can’t-- do normal person stuff.” 

“Beca…” Chloe whispers, taking a few steps forward and kneeling in front of Beca’s chair. Beca averts her eyes, hating that she’s on the verge of crying. “Look at me,” she coaxes gently, reaching up to cup Beca’s cheek. “It breaks my heart for you that you don’t get to do those things anymore, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you, or the fact that I want to be with you.” 

Beca blinks, the shield surrounding her heart splitting open and vulnerability shining in her eyes. “You… want to be with me?”

Chloe simply smiles. “I thought that was pretty obvious.”

Beca’s eyes flutter shut for a few beats as she puffs out a breath, trying to tame down her insecurities about her body and letting people in in general. 

“Hey,” Chloe murmurs, squeezing her hand. “I don’t want to make you do anything you’re not ready for, alright? If you do feel the same way, we can take it slow. You set the tone.”

Chloe’s words soothe the anxiety swirling in Beca’s belly and her heart swells; she trusts Chloe and her intentions and god, she really wants to be with her, too.

Leaning forward, she cups the side of Chloe’s neck and brushes her lips across hers. Chloe hums, smiling against Beca’s mouth before she kisses back. 

“I’m taking you out on a date tomorrow night,” she says when they eventually pull away. 

Mind still tipped upside down from that kiss, Beca blinks and nods, a dizzy smile spreading across her lips. “Alright, nerd.”

The next few weeks turn out to be amazing as they easily fall into a relationship dynamic. They hang out even more, texting whenever they’re not together. It’s kind of gross, how happy Beca feels, but she figures she deserves it after everything. 

“Can we um— pump on the brakes a little?” She asks breathlessly one evening, squeezing Chloe’s waist as she straddles Beca’s lap.

“Yeah, of course,” Chloe rasps, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I liked that, I just— I’m not there yet.”

She’s terrified Chloe might not find her attractive or worse, be grossed out when she finally sees Beca completely naked. 

“That’s okay,” Chloe assures her, pecking her lips. “You set the tone, remember?”

“Thank you,” Beca murmurs, truly appreciative of Chloe’s selflessness. “Hey, so um, I have my first physical therapy session with my prosthetics next week and uh, I guess I would like it if you could be there?” 

She’s had countless appointments over the last few months to get measurements and fittings for her prosthetic limbs, and she would finally see whether or not she could walk in them next week. While she’s been wary so far about including Chloe to that part of her life, she knows she’ll need someone there for emotional support, and she can’t think of anyone better than her amazing girlfriend. 

Chloe’s eyes widen. “Yeah? That’s exciting!” Softening, she adds, “Of course I’ll be there.” 

Beca is a nervous wreck by the time her appointment comes around. After much internal back and forth about whether she wanted Chloe to be in the room while they set up the prosthetics and for her to see her stumps, Beca eventually figured she would sooner or later anyway.

Chloe doesn’t show any signs of being grossed out once Beca’s pants are off, and she even grabs Beca’s hand and presses a kiss to her knuckles, as though reading Beca’s mind and guessing she needed some sort of reassurance. 

Once the technician slipped the sleeves and liners on Beca’s residual limbs, she straps the prosthetics on. “How does that feel?”

“So far so good.”

“Alright, ready to take some steps?” 

Anticipation and slight nerves swirl in Beca’s guts as she nods, moving her wheelchair in front of the metal bars. She puts the brakes on and with the technician’s help, rises to her feet. 

Her trembling hands reach for the bars as the technician holds onto her waist with a belt in case she loses her balance. 

“Let’s try a couple stationary steps first,” she advises, and Beca manages to lift one foot after the other, familiarizing herself with the feeling. “Great job. Let’s try a couple steps?” 

Beca nods, exhaling slowly and gripping the bars tighter as she moves her right foot ahead, then her left. It’s wobbly and the sockets are a bit uncomfortable, but she knows it’s just a question of getting used to. Tears sting her eyes because she’s walking again, and while she knows the road ahead is still long, she also knows she’s going in the right direction. 

“Doing okay?” The other woman asks as Beca takes another two steps. 

“Yeah, I just need a small break.” It’s much more exhausting than she thought, sweat beading on her forehead already. 

Chloe’s grinning from ear to ear when Beca glances back at her. “You’re walking, babe.” 

“Yeah,” Beca exhales with a disbelieving laugh. “I won’t take you out dancing right away, but someday.”

Someday. 

Chloe takes her out for a celebratory dinner after and once they’re back to Beca’s dorm and on her bed to watch something on Netflix, Beca doesn’t reach for her computer, capturing Chloe’s lips in a yearning kiss instead. 

Their make out session quickly turns hot and heavy, and Beca whips her top over her head at some point, staring at Chloe with darkened eyes.

“Are you sure?”

“I love you,” Beca murmurs instead, cradling Chloe’s cheek tenderly. “I’m so sure.”

Chloe’s eyes soften, and a dazzling smile spreads across her lips as she kisses Beca. “I love you, too.”

Time slows down after that as they explore this new window in their relationship, and Beca doesn’t feel one bit uncomfortable about her appearance, not when Chloe is showering her body with so much love. 

The next couple months are pretty much perfect. Chloe and the Bellas win the ICCA’s, Beca continues making progress in physical therapy, to the point where she’s able to walk short distances with just the help of a cane. 

On Chloe’s graduation day, she shows up not in her wheelchair but on her feet, intending on surprising her girlfriend, who has no idea she got that far. She spots Chloe talking with her family across the room after the ceremony and slowly but surely makes her way over, gripping the bouquet of flowers in her right hand tighter as nerves over meeting Chloe’s parents sprout in her belly. 

“Oh my god,” Chloe croaks, her eyes widening and a bright smile lighting up her features when she finally sees Beca. 

“Hey you,” Beca greets with a lopsided grin, laughing softly when Chloe shakes her head in awe and tucks herself into her arms. Beca inhales her scent, closing her eyes as she basks in the closeness. “Congratulations. I’m so fucking proud of you.” 

Chloe kisses her softly, taking the bouquet from her to slip her hand into Beca’s now free one and gently tugging her to the older pair. 

“You must be Beca,” Chloe’s dad says, his eyes the same vibrant blue as his daughter’s as he extends his hand. “It’s nice to finally meet you.” 

“You too, sir,” Beca replies, accepting the handshake. 

“Please, call me Mike.” 

“And I’m Alice,” Chloe’s mom introduces herself next, her smile warm and genuine. 

“You’re joining us for lunch, right?” Mike asks, offering a matching smile. 

Beca smiles and her heart warms, not having expected an invitation. “Um, yeah, sure. I’d love to.” 

Chloe kisses Beca’s cheek once her parents start to make their way to the car, walking slowly to match Beca’s pace. 

“What?” Beca asks when she notices Chloe is staring at her profile. 

“Nothing,” Chloe murmurs, squeezing Beca’s hand. “I’m just really happy.” 

The Beca from a year ago would have never thought she’d know what it felt like; to be loved and loving someone like she did Chloe. Yet, here she is, the happiest she’s ever been, and she’s got the feeling it’s just starting. 

“Me, too.” 

[wonkasmissstarshine]

The Chocolatier’s Rose {Willy Wonka x OC} Ch.35

GIFs not mine. Credit go to owners.

Summary: Charlie and Jenny sleepover at Rose and Willy’s for the night. And once the children are asleep, Rose and Willy have a bit of fun.

A/N: Another chapter with smut in it. This time, it’s a handjob.

Tagging: @holdmeicant​ @willymywonkers​ @sleepiesapphicxoxo​ @frozenhuntress67​

Lucy took Jenny home to pack a bag for the night, and then she took her right back to the factory. Rose and Charlie both waited outside for her. Jenny excitedly ran up to both of them, and gave them big hugs. After, she turned to her sister and gave her a hug.

"Now, Jenny, you be good alright?" Lucy told her sister. "And you do whatever Rose and Willy ask you to do, okay?"

"I will" Jenny promised.

"And if anything is wrong, please tell them. If you get the nightmares again--"

"I will tell them" Jenny assured her.

Lucy smiled and hugged her. "Oh, I hope you have fun tonight! Now, I need to talk with Rose, alright?" Jenny nodded and went over to go stand by Charlie. Rose stepped forward so Lucy could talk to her. "Rose, this is Jenny's first time spending the night away from home"

"Don't worry, Lucy" Rose said, placing her hand on her shoulder. "We'll make sure Jenny is comfortable"

"Good" Lucy nodded. "But there is something you need to know" She let out a shaky breath. "It's about our parents..." Rose wasn't blind to see the tears swelling in Lucy's eyes. "There was an accident. It was their anniversary trip, and they took a trip to Spain..."

"Lucy, you don't have to..."

"No, no. I need to tell you" Lucy continued. "They spent two weeks there. Mom called the night before they were to fly home, said she and dad really missed us and that they couldn't wait to see us again. Jenny and I got up real early the morning they were supposed to come home. Made them a special breakfast. Then, that's when the news report came on. A plane had exploded. It was the plane they were on..."

Rose just stared at Lucy, trying to process what she had just told her. After a moment of silence, Rose finally said something. "I'm so sorry that happened, Lucy"

Lucy smiled a strained smile. "It took Jenny months to accept the fact that they were gone. Every night, she'd come crying to me, asking when mommy and daddy were coming home. I didn't know what else to tell her, except "Soon. They'd be home soon" Then I always felt guilty because I didn't take the time to grieve. But, I couldn't, because I needed to be there for Jenny"

At that point, Lucy broke down into tears, and Rose brought her into a tight hug. "It's okay, Lucy" The two friends stayed like that for a few minutes.

"Thank you, Rose" Lucy said, calming down from her tears. "We've both accepted the fact that they're gone, but Jenny gets nightmares sometimes. If she does get them, there's a song that makes her feel better. It's one mom used to sing us to sleep with"

"Tell me the song, and I'll sing it as many times as I need to" Rose said.

Lucy smiled, relieved knowing that her sister will be in good care tonight.

******

Charlie and Jenny followed after Rose. They stopped when they reached the closed door of a room. Jenny looked up to read what the name was.

"Rose Garden" Jenny said the name. "Is this room named after you, Rose?"

"Not just named, but Willy made it because of me" Rose explained. She looked down to her brother. "Charlie, I don't think I've shown you this room yet, have I?"

"Not yet" Charlie said. "But I'm very excited to see it"

Rose opened the door to the room, and the three of them walked inside. There was no stopping the gasps of amazement that came from the two children.

"It's beautiful!" Charlie said.

"It's truly amazing!" Jenny added. She was quick to notice the house. "Is that the house where you and Willy live?"

"It is" Rose said with a smile. "It's small but that's how we like it"

"How did you even move two houses into the factory?" Jenny asked curiously.

"That's still something I wonder about every day"

"Me too" Charlie agreed.

"Come, come" Rose urged. She walked in front, and Charlie and Jenny followed close behind her. "Let's get inside" They went inside the house and Rose immediately called out for her fiancé. "Willy, my love! We're here!"

Willy emerged from the bedroom. "Oh, goody! I was getting kind of lonely" Immediately, he went to Rose and wrapped his arms around her and leaned in for a kiss.

Rose let out a giggle as she put her finger to his lips. "Cocoa bean! Not in front of Charlie and Jenny"

"Sorry, starshine" Willy said, copying her giggle before nuzzling into her neck. "I just get carried away with you"

"It's okay" Rose said before pressing a kiss to his cheek. She turned to face her brother and her friend. "Now, does anyone want hot chocolate?"

Jenny nodded and grinned. "Yes please!"

"With little marshmallows and whipped cream?" Charlie suggested.

"Would you have it with anything else?" Rose said, and Charlie smiled at that. "Alrighty! Four cups of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows and whipped cream coming up!" Rose turned on her heel and made her way to the kitchen. "Willy, would you please show our guests where they will be sleeping tonight?"

"Absolutely" Willy said. He then waved for Charlie and Jenny to follow him. "Come on!" The three of them walked off as Rose began making the hot chocolate.

******

The four of them were having quite the fun night. They played some games and even built a fort made out pillows and sheets. The four of them sat inside it, passing around a flashlight as they took turns telling a story. It was Rose's turn and she was finishing up the scary story she was telling.

"That's when the man turned around, and he realized that he was alone the entire time" Rose told as eerily as she could. 

"Wow, Rosie" Charlie said. "That was a really scary story"

"I hope I didn't scare anyone too much" Rose said. She held out the flashlight, ready to pass it on. "Who wants to go next?"

"Mr Wonka" Jenny piped up. "I want to hear how you fell in love with Rose"

Willy grinned, glancing over to Rose. "Of course I'll tell that story" Rose returned his smile, giving him the flashlight. "I've never said this before, not even to you, starshine, but I've actually seen you before the tour"

Rose's eyebrows raised in surprise. "You have?"

Willy nodded before admitting shyly. "I always saw you and Charlie walk by the factory every day. I always saw you two stop and look. I couldn't help but always look at you, Rose, whenever you and Charlie came by. I didn't love you at that point, but I remember my stomach always feeling funny whenever I saw you"

"Did it feel like butterflies fluttering?" Jenny asked, leaning forward with interest. She was really liking this story so far.

"That's exactly what it felt like!" Willy exclaimed. "I still get those butterflies whenever I look at you, starshine" He took Rose's hand and gave it an affectionate squeeze. "Anyways, where was I?" He paused to remember his place in the story. "Oh yeah! I even started memorizing what time of the day you two would stop by, just so I could see you. It was the one thing I looked forward to every day. Then came the day where I decided to send out the Golden Tickets. I sent them out with the intention of finding an heir, but I also sent them out in hopes I could meet you. I hoped that you and Charlie would find it"

"And we did!" Charlie said, grinning from ear to ear.

"I couldn't tell you how happy I was when I saw you!" Willy said. Even though he was telling this story to everyone, his gaze remained on Rose. "You were even more beautiful up close. I wanted nothing more than to spend the entire day with you by my side. But I was also afraid that you wouldn't like me"

Rose giggled as she placed her hand on his cheek. "Well, I did like you, cocoa bean. I liked you the moment I laid eyes on you"

Willy smiled, placing his hand overtop of hers. "I couldn't stop myself from falling for you. And then when Charlie won, I was happier than I had ever been. It meant I would be able to see you everyday, and not just from a distance" Willy's smile then dropped. "Then I made a mistake. Everything I said about family and not letting yours move into the factory. I saw the way you looked at me, and it hurt. When you called me Mr Wonka, instead of Willy like you had that whole day, it hurt

"When you weren't here, it felt so empty without you. I couldn't even make my chocolate or candy right because I missed you so much. I had a therapy session with my Oompa-Loompa therapist, and I told him about you. That's when I pieced it together. Why I was feeling so lonely. Why my candy was tasting so terrible. I realized that I loved you, and I was heartbroken because you weren't in the factory with me. So that's when I decided I should find and talk to Charlie"

"And then you saved me from marrying someone who I would never love as much as I love you" Rose said. 

"That was a wonderful story, Mr Wonka" Jenny said. She suddenly got a sullen look on her face, but it didn't last long as her smile returned. "Can I tell one now?"

Willy gave the flashlight to Jenny. "What story are you going to tell us?" He asked her.

"Well, I never really talk about them anymore, not even with Lucy" Jenny started. Rose immediately knew that she meant her parents. "But, I think I want to talk about them with you. My parents were wonderful and I don't remember them enough like I should"

Charlie placed a comforting hand on Jenny's shoulder. "We'd like to hear about them, Jenny. That is, if you feel comfortable telling us about them"

"Thank you" She said quietly. And with that, Jenny started sharing all the happy memories that she had of her parents.

******

Everyone agreed that it was time for bed. Rose was in the extra bedroom with Charlie and Jenny, making sure that they were all tucked in. Charlie and Jenny were squeezed together on the one bed, but neither of them minded.

"Remember, if you two need anything, don't be afraid to wake Willy and I, okay?" Rose said. 

"Thank you, Rosie, but I think we'll be okay" Charlie said.

"Yeah" Jenny nodded, agreeing with Charlie. "We'll be okay"

Rose smiled at the both of them. She pulled the covers up to their chins, and kissed them both on the forehead. "Goodnight you two" She said. Rose was just about to walk out the door when she stopped and turned on her heel. "How about I sing a goodnight song?"

Charlie grinned and his eyes lit up. He missed having Rose sing him to sleep. "I'd like that" He said.

"Me too" Jenny said. "Charlie says you have an angel's voice"

Rose sat on the bed, thinking of a song to sing them. Then, she remembered what Lucy told her. About the special song their mom would use to sing Lucy and Jenny to sleep.

Once there was a way

To get back homeward

Once there was a way

To get back home

Sleep, pretty darlings

Do not cry

And I will sing a lullaby

Golden slumbers

Fill your eyes

Smiles await you when you rise

Sleep pretty darlings

Do not cry

And I will sing a lullaby

Once there was a way

To get back homeward

Once there was a way

To get back home

Sleep, pretty darlings

Do not cry

And I will sing a lullaby

And that's all it took for Charlie and Jenny to fall into a peaceful slumber. As quietly as she could, Rose got up off of the bed and she tiptoed out of the room, making sure to close the door behind her.

******

Rose made her way to her own bedroom. When she got there, she expected Willy to already be in his pajamas and waiting for her in bed. What she wasn't expecting, was to walk in and find him without a shirt on.

"Cocoa bean!" She squeaked. That caused Willy to jump in surprise, and turn to look at the girl. Rose was blushing furiously and she was covering her eyes. "I-I didn't know you were still getting changed. I can leave and give you some privacy--"

"Starshine, it's okay" Willy said, giggling at her shyness. He found it cute. He stepped closer to her. He grabbed the hand that she was using to cover her eyes, and he moved it, lacing his fingers with hers.

"Are you sure?" Rose said, her voice quiet.

"Of course I am" Willy's voice also grew quiet. 

Rose bit her lip as she let her eyes trail over every inch of bare skin she could see. He wasn't overly muscular but it surprised Rose of how fit he was. "Can I touch you?"

"Go ahead, truffle" 

He let go of her hand that he was still holding. Rose reached out and placed both of her hands on his chest. She let her hands linger for a moment. Then she began moving her hands. She moved them along his shoulders and his arms. She took a moment to feel his biceps. 

"You're so gorgeous, cocoa bean" Rose said in a breath. 

"Yeah?" Willy rasped. He was enjoying the feeling of her fingers dancing along his skin. His gaze never left her. He took notice of the way that her chest was heaving up and down. And the way she was biting at her lip was too enticing.

"So, so beautiful" Rose hummed. She trailed her fingers back over along his chest and then down his stomach. She also tilted her chin up and started pressing kisses along his jaw.

"T-truffle" Willy's eyes fluttered closed, his lips parted open and a noise escaped. Have you ever heard Willy Wonka moan? Because that was the most beautiful noise that ever came to Rose’s ears.

He didn't want her to stop. He really didn't. He just wanted her to keep kissing him and keep touching him. Still, there were two children sound asleep in the other room. He didn’t want to risk them hearing anything and accidentally walking in on them.

But he could ignore the way he was straining against his pants. He couldn’t ignore the aching for Rose to touch him.

Rose had finally reached his pants. She noticed the bulge in his pants. She bit her lip, palming his hard cock through his pants. Willy let out a shaky breath. “Oh, cocoa bean” Rose cooed to him, smirking as her lips brushed against his ear. “Did I do this to you?”

“Y-yes” Willy cried. He bucked against her hand, desperate for her touch.

“Do you want me to touch you, cocoa bean?” Rose purred, her hands already on his belt. “Want me to make you feel good like you made me feel yesterday?”

“Please, truffle” He said, taking Rose’s face in his hands and giving her a kiss. “I want you to make me feel good”

Rose unbuckled his belt, the clinking of the metal echoing in the room. It also made her shiver with anticipation. This would be the first cock she would ever see. Once the belt was off, she unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. Rose pulled his pants down his legs and she was surprised to find that he hadn’t been wearing any kind of underwear.

Willy hissed when his cock sprang free. He heard Rose gasp and he gave her a look of concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It’s just...” Rose couldn’t tear her eyes away from him. He was bigger than she was expecting. His tip was red and precum was leaking out of his slit. Honestly, his cock looked so hard that it looked like he was hurting. “You’re so big, Willy”

“Is that a good thing?” 

“Yeah. Remember yesterday when you put your fingers inside me?” Willy nodded. How could he forget that? The noises she was making, the way she was writhing, how pretty her face looked when she came. “Well, when you put this inside me,” Rose wrapped her hand around his cock, making Willy let out a shaky breath. “It’s gonna feel so good”  

She started stroking him, and his head fell backwards, letting out a moan. “Oh, truffle. T-that feels so exquisite” If this is what her hand felt like around him, he could only imagine what her honeypot would feel like.

“Yeah?” Rose let her thumb brush over his tip. Willy visibly shuddered at that. It was evident to Rose that he was extremely sensitive. And so she had to wonder. “Have you ever been touched like this Willy?”

“N-no” Willy answered, shaking his head. “No one’s ever touched me like this before. I haven’t even touched myself. You’re the first one”

That turned her on so much. Knowing that she was the first to touch him in such an intimate way. Rose continued to pump her hand along the length of his cock, speeding up the movement of her hand. 

Moans wouldn’t stop spilling out of Willy’s mouth. This felt so good. He never wanted her to stop. Especially now that he felt a foreign sensation bubbling in the pit of his stomach. “R-Rose, something’s happening. Please...please, don’t stop”

“I won’t stop, cocoa bean” Rose promised him, burying her face into his shoulder. She kissed at the bare skin. “I want you to feel as good as you made me feel yesterday”

Something was about to happen, and Willy could feel it. His breathing was becoming more ragged, his stomach was twitching, his legs were shaking, and his balls were tightening. “Truffle, I don’t know what’s happening but it feels so good! I...I... Oh, my pretty truffle!”

Willy’s head fell back and he cried out in euphoric pleasure as he spurt his cum into Rose’s hand. “Rose, that...ah... feels so good” She let him fuck her hand as he rode out his high. She could still feeling him cumming on her hand. Once he was done, Rose let go of him and looked at her hand. Willy had cum quite a bit, as her hand was just coated in the white and sticky substance. 

Willy also noticed the state of Rose’s hand, and he immediately felt ashamed. “Oh, I made a mess! I’m so sorry, starshine”

“No, no, cocoa bean. It’s okay” Rose sweetly told him. Using her clean hand, she reached up and stroked his cheek. “You just came, that’s all. That’s what happens when someone makes you feel really good”

“Like when all of your special honey gushed out of your honeypot?” Willy asked, an innocent smile creeping on his face. 

“Exactly like that” Rose said, smiling at the fact that he just called her cunt a honeypot. It was cute and honestly kind of hot at the same time. She brought her dirtied hand closer to her face. “That must’ve felt good, cocoa bean. Look how much you came for me”

“I see that look in your eyes, truffle” Willy said, watching her intently with a smirk. “You want to taste it, don’t you? Go on, then. Lick it all off and tell me how I taste”

Looking him right in the eye, Rose proceeded to lick off all of Willy’s cum from her hand. She moaned at the taste. His cum tasted so sweet, but there was a hint of saltiness to it. She loved it. “Mmm, cocoa bean. You taste so good”

[hasquetzorkukudoneanythingwrong]

The (not so) lil master that could

Rex was sitting at a desk in an art studio. He was practicing his art with Da Vinci (caster) over looking his practice. He was practicing with human anatomy, with Cleopatra as the model. This wasn't the first time he'd tried this but he had an unfortunate habit of being over critical of himself. Da Vinci was well aware of this, many times when she tried to give him some criticism he'd take it way worse then she intended and end up dropping it for a long time.

Rex: uh... I might be close to being finished?

Da Vinci: are you sure? How do you feel about it?

Rex took a look at his sketch, the anatomy wasn't amazing and the clothing was a bit inaccurate.

Rex: no... it's crap.

Da Vinci: it's not that bad... I've told you before not to be over critical of your art.

Rex: but it's true. I shouldn't even try...

Da Vinci: hey! Stop giving up! You won't get anywhere doing that!

But Rex wasn't listening and he got up and left.

Cleo: what happened?

Da Vinci: he gave up. *sigh* he needs to stop dropping this stuff so quickly.

Cleo: well let me see the picture.

Da Vinci showed the picture to Cleopatra

Cleo: I mean... it's not so bad. I can see potential... he should keep going.

Da Vinci: that's what I've been trying to tell him...

Eventually Rex was in the writer's room this time trying his hand at writing a story. He was too disappointed in the art he tried so he hoped writing would be more his speed. Murasaki was there to help like Da Vinci with the art. Just like with the art and anything he tried, he was too critical of his own writing. Murasaki wanted to help him get better and to keep at it but she was too shy, the only reason she's helping instead of others is because folks like Shakespeare and Anderson annoyed him a bit too much so she's the better option.

Murasaki: how's the manuscript? Is it going well?

Rex: ...not sure... why don't you take a look?

Murasaki took a look at what he wrote.

Murasaki: it's pretty good so far... but this part seems a bit forced.

Rex: *sigh* so what do you think I should do instead?

Murasaki: stories need to flow naturally... try to take a bit of a realistic view on it.

Rex: hmmm...

As he reread the story, he became more and more dissatisfied with it. He noticed many errors and moments where the characters' dialog didn't seem right.

Rex: y'know what... maybe I shouldn't try...

Murasaki: wait! Please don't give up master!

Rex: why keep going? It's crap...

He got up and left, Murasaki just watched him as she wasn't very confrontational. Not that it would help as Da Vinci could tell you.

Murasaki: *sigh* not again...

Eventually Murasaki and Da Vinci met up in the hall and Da Vinci had a question for Murasaki.

Da Vinci: have you seen Rex?

Murasaki: no, he was writing earlier but he got over critical again and left.

Da Vinci: of course. He needs to work on his self esteem issues. I know you're always your own worst critic but he won't even let the ink dry before he burns the canvas.

Murasaki: did he go that far?!

Da Vinci: no... but it wouldn't surprise me. I'm going to keep looking, he needs to end this whole hyper critical crap!

Murasaki: alright, but don't be too abrasive with him, he may shut down entirely on the subject.

Da Vinci: *sigh* he needs a therapy session or something.

As she continued to look, she passes by the gym and hears his voice.

Rex: how was that?

???: your almost there! Let's try one more time!

Da Vinci: there he is!

She went into the gym, to see him in the wrestling wring. He was sparring with Quetzalcoatl, specifically lucha libre moves. This wasn't the first time he'd done this. In fact he'd been practicing with her for ages now.

Da Vinci, thinking: hey... how come he's never dropped this? When he first came in he had no interest in most physical activities. He was overweight and rarely left his room, but now look at him.

Da Vinci left the gym for now, but she planned to confront him about this later.

Later on Rex was walking back to his room, tired from the training he just endured. Then Da Vinci came in to question him.

Da Vinci: Rex!

Rex: ah!

Da Vinci: there you are!

Rex, nervously: what do you want?

Da Vinci: I've got some questions for you.

Rex: I dunno if I wanna answer

Da Vinci: too bad. Why do you keep dropping art and writing and such!? You have real potential for those things. But then I see you practicing hand to hand combat and you've stuck to it for so long! I've read your file, and have seen your behavior firsthand before all this and you never struck me as the athletic type.

Rex: ...well if you want the answer, then I've got a story to tell.

Da Vinci: by all means.

It was relatively far back, a while after Camelot was dealt with. Rex and Quetz were at the rec room watching Lucha matches. They had just finished one up, and you could see just how pumped Quetz got.

Quetz: wow! Wasn't that amazing master?!

Rex: it was pretty intense...

Quetz: I still can't believe you've never watched a match before. It's so increible!

Rex: I dunno... just never peaked my interest that much, but you make it way more interesting then I thought it'd be.

Quetz: gracias! When I first layed eyes on this amazing spectacle I couldn't help how awe struck I felt. I knew I had to master it.

Rex: ...I've noticed most of the time they have a partner. If you were ever in the ring for a serious match, who'd you want to be your partner?

Rex had asked simply out of curiosity, he expected her to say Martha or Scathach or some other powerful servant. But what she said surprised the hell out of him.

Quetz turned towards him, and before she said anything she held both of his hands in hers and gave him her answer.

Quetz: I actually think you'd be an amazing partner!

Rex couldn't believe what he heard. Him? Why?! He wasn't coordinated, he was a bit fat, and he was barely any good fighting without a weapon. If anyone that knew him from before chaldea was there, they'd expect him to give her a "no thanks" because that's the kind of person he was. But what he did say, would've surprised any of his family or former friends.

Rex: ...I'd love to!

Quetz: you would!?

Rex: yes! Anything for you!

Quetz: yay! Let's get started with your training!

Rex: now?!

Quetz: well.. it's actually getting late, how about tomorrow?

Rex: sure...

Back in the present day.

Da Vinci: of course, I knew it had to be her. You continue on to make her happy.

Rex: yeah... there's been many times where I was ready to quit training with her. It's painful, and just like with other things, I don't see what I do as good enough. But everytime I see her face beam with excitement for my training, I keep going. I do it for her, I want to be her perfect partner, she has high hopes and I can't disappoint her.

Da Vinci: but you can't put that effort for things you enjoy?

Rex: ...not really...

Da Vinci: ...why don't you show her your art or writing?

Rex: no! She'll think it's stupid.

Da Vinci: only you think that way... or at least that critically anyways. Regardless, I'm showing her!

As she said this she left to find Quetz and show her the picture he drew.

Rex: don't! It's too stupid!

Despite pleading with her he couldn't get her to budge on the subject, she was determined to do this. After a bit of the two walking and their back and fourth they finally ran into Quetz.

Quetz: Hola mi amor! Hola Da Vinci! What's going on?

Da Vinci: Quetzalcoatl, I've got something to show you!

Rex: pls don't look!

Quetz: why not mi amor?

Rex: it's crap!

Da Vinci: stop thinking that way!

As she says this she hands the paper to Quetz. She over looked it for a bit.

Quetz: mi amor, did you draw this?

Rex: yeah... it's crap I know

Quetz: no! It's actually pretty nice! I think you did a fine job!

Rex: huh?! You can't be serious!

Quetz: of course I am!

Rex: for real?!

Da Vinci: I've been trying to tell you!

Quetz: si! Don't look down at your art mi amor! It's really good!

Rex: ...you sure?

Quetz: si! You've got potential and I'd love to see you continue!

Rex was now filled more confidence then ever! He was ready to get back into it! Especially if it was for her!

Over time he'd get back into drawing and writing and even got into a bit of cooking. It was all for Quetzalcoatl of course! But he also never stopped training to be her lucha partner! He was ready for the day they'd have a match up together.

A/N: there ya go. Had this idea brewing most of work. Sometimes we're more willing to do things for others then ourselves, but that can still be a good motivator.

Tags

@hasishtardoneanythingwrong @hasereshdoneanythingwrong @haspaulbunyandoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong @hasabbydoneanythingwrong @hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong @castlecsejtespeakertechnician @hasbbdoneanythingwrong @hasnightingaledoneanythingwrong @nureenarts @kierakaz @valiantstrawberrymilk

[mlovesstories]

His Thoughts on Therapy 2

Masterlist of Masterlists 

Warnings: cussing, violence, hurt, emotions, therapy, homelessness, VERY hurt characters. 

Words: 2400

Thanks as always to my boo @cherryblossomflowers​ for the help.  Hope you like this, girlie! 

AN- Enjoy! Maybe grab tissues? 

“So what’s up your butt, Winchester?” YN sat on the steps of the office building. Dean stopped when she acknowledged him. 

“I’m sorry about earlier. I am just going through some stuff, and I was about to explode.” He towered over her as he came closer. 

“Ah.” She kicked her feet in the air off the side of the staircase. 

“What’s on your mind, T?” Dean knew her session was right after his. “Don’t you have session now?” 

“Don’t want to.” YN didn’t dare look at him. 

“That’s what I said this morning to my brother. But he made me come anyway.” Dean grinned. “You should go in. Sky will make you feel better. I’m sure you know it too.” He extended his hand to help her up. 

“I got it, thanks.” YN maneuvered herself to a standing position and limped up the remaining stairs. 

“YN!” She turned. “What happened?” 

“I’m fine, Dean.” Now it was her turn to walk away from him without explanation. 

Dean texted YN the next day to check on her. 

YN

I’m fine, Winchester. 

Dean

I can practically see you rolling your eyes at me. 

YN 

Go away.

Dean

We’re texting, where would I go? ;] 

YN

You know what I mean. 

She didn’t text back after that. When he saw her at therapy, she was withdrawn and quiet. 

“Did something happen?” He slowly sat next to her on the steps. 

“Tires were punctured this morning. I hate it here.” 

“Wow. Seriously bad luck.” 

“Can you stay for my session today? After yours?” 

Dean’s jaw dropped but he didn’t want to show his astonishment. 

“Uh, sure. I am done for the day at work.” 

“Thank you,” she whispered. 

Dr. Sky smiled as the two walked into her office. “Dean, we just finished…?” 

“YN asked me to stay for her session. We met outside a few months ago and I’ve seen her around. YN was acting weird today and asked if I would stay for her session.” 

The doctor looked from Dean to the girl. 

“Is this right?” 

“Yeah.” YN nodded. 

“Alright then.” 

They participated in small talk for the first few minutes. 

“So, why is Dean here, YN? Is there something you felt you needed extra support for?” 

“No, not really. I just wanted him here for my session. And to thank him. Thank you, Dean, for being so kind to me. I know I’m an ass sometimes, but you still decided to be my friend.” 

“Sure. We both have helped each other, T.” 

“I think I may know why YN wanted you here, Dean.”

His eyes snapped up to meet hers. 

“Do you mind if I give Dean some insight, YN?” 

“Sure,” the girl shrugged. 

“YN doesn’t trust a lot of people, especially males. Males older than her. From getting to know her, I would hypothesize that you did something very nice for her, and now she trusts you. Would that be accurate, YN?” 

YN nodded. 

“I’m sorry, Winchester. This was stupid,” YN thought she was stupid for even thinking of being so open with Dean. 

“T, it’s fine, come on. Relax.” 

“Fine. I don’t go to KU, okay?” 

Dean cocked his head to the side. 

“What?” Dean gasped. 

“I ran away from home. Let’s just say it wasn’t a healthy situation. And then I find an ass of a guy who actually asked how I was doing.” She rolled her eyes.

“Can I punch someone for you?” Dean gritted his teeth. 

“Stand down, Mister Winchester.” Dr. Sky put a hand up.

“You remind me of my older brother.  I think that’s why you don’t scare me. He was fifteen years older than me.  You kinda look like him too.” 

“Was?” 

“I haven’t seen him in a long time.  Mom and Dad said he couldn’t see me anymore because he was trying to get me out of that house.  They threatened to get him arrested for something stupid.  So… he left.” 

“Damn.  So, you have no idea where he is? Why don’t you go see him?” 

“No, no clue.”  YN wiped away a tear.  “I’m sorry, Dean.  I didn’t mean to make you involved in this.  I’m sorry, Doctor Sky.  This was stupid.” She stood and started to exit.  Knowing that he had to get her attention, he shouted.  

“Tissues!” 

She jumped and turned. 

“Sit down.” 

They finished their session, but both Doctor Sky and Dean noticed how closed off she became.  

“Let’s go,” Dean practically dragged YN to his car.  

“What?” She tripped over her own feet as he pulled her along.  

“Get in.” 

“What?” YN jerked her arm out of his grasp.  

“Get in, we need to have a conversation.” Dean growled, frustrated. 

YN slowly sat in the car. 

“Why didn’t you say you weren’t safe? Someone you know could have slashed your tires.  It may not be a random thing, don’t you get that?” 

“It WAS random! My family has no idea where I am.” She crossed her arms. 

“Fine.  What do you need?” 

“Huh?” 

“Job, food…?” 

“Both?” She sighed. 

“I got an opening at the shop.  You know how to sweep floors?” 

“Yeah…” She eyed him curiously.  

“Great.  You start tomorrow at 7am.  I’ll text you the address.” He pulled out his phone. “Now, get out of my car, and I’ll see you tomorrow.” Dean winked at her. She rolled her eyes.  

“Bye, Dean.” 

The next morning, she hopped off the bus across the street from Winchester Auto.  

“You’re late,” Dean walked past her as she entered.  

“It is 6:55am.” 

“If you’re not early, you’re late.” He gathered up random nuts and bolts on a counter and handed them to YN.  “Sort these.  The breakroom is down the hall.  You can put your stuff in there.” 

Okay…” she huffed.  “Good morning to you too, Winchester.” 

“I’m treating you like anyone else around here.  Hurry up,” he walked her to the breakroom and watched her drop her things.  

“How long is my shift?” 

“Til five.” 

“I don’t have a lunch…” 

“I brought you some.  Lunch is at twelve.” Dean walked to the fridge, opened it and took out the milk.  In a cabinet, he reached for some cereal.  “This is why I said you were late.  Come in early and you can eat before you start your shift.  I get here at six every morning.” 

“Wow.” She smiled.  “Thank you, Dean.” YN whispered. 

“You’re welcome.  Ten minutes, then it’s time to work.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“This is YN, she is our new rover.  We all know how to be gentlemen in here, so let’s keep it that way.  Any ogling eyes will have their pay cut, you understand me?” He glared at all of the men in the room.  

“Yes, boss,” they all responded.  

YN stayed quiet the whole day, doing what Dean asked her to.  

“You want a ride home, kid? I saw you took the bus this morning.” 

“No, it’s okay.  Thanks, Winchester.” 

“What’s going on?  You’re not telling me something,” he read the uncertainty and lie on her face. 

“I don’t have anywhere to go…” she looked away.  “I lied about having an apartment.  It wasn’t mine…” 

“You’re homeless?  And now you don’t have tires?  Where is your car?”  

“Guy bought it.  I needed the money.” 

“Let’s go,” he took her elbow and practically shoved her in the car.  “Where is your stuff?” 

“In my backpack.” 

“Damn, T.” 

“You don’t have to feel bad for me, ya know.  No one has ever cared anyway!” YN screamed. 

“Well, you should!  This is what it is for someone to care, okay!  Having empathy is caring.  I don’t feel bad for you, just for the record.  I’m angry that you didn’t have somewhere to stay, and you felt like you had to hide it from me.  You had no reason to.” 

“I’m sorry I lied.” YN sighed and looked out the window.  Dean started the car and drove out of the parking lot.

They pulled into the driveway at Sam’s house.  Dean saw that he was already home.  

“Inside, now.” 

“Grumpy old man,” YN whispered to herself. 

“SAM! GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE!” Dean’s voice bellowed throughout the house.  

“WHY?” Dean heard him yell back from the kitchen.  

“I need you! Hurry up!” 

Sam rolled his eyes.  He carried his water bottle with him to the entry way.  

“Oh, hi, YN.  What’s going on?” 

“YN needs to crash until further notice.  Can she take the guest bedroom?  She’ll be on her best behavior, yes?” Dean glared at her.  

YN nodded and bit her lip.  

“Is everything okay?” Sam looked from her to Dean and then back to YN.  

“Yes.  I just need a bed for a few days.  I won’t cause a problem, I promise.” 

“Okay.” 

“You’ll be here at least a month.” 

“DEAN!” She stomped her foot.

“You barely have any money and no belongings.  How are you going to get a roof over your head in a few days?  Two paychecks and then you can go, you hear me?” 

“Ugh.” 

“Excuse me?” Dean stepped closer to her. 

“Fine.” 

Two days later, Dean came into the kitchen to find YN wiping down the counters. 

“You know, you don’t have to clean all the time.” 

“I’m a guest living in your house for free.  I should still contribute something, and right now, all I can do is clean.” 

“Will you sit down and be still for two seconds?” He yanked the sponge away from her.  “Sit.” She harrumphed and plopped herself down at the kitchen table. 

“What, Dean? I’m trying to make sure I do my part. And stop bossing me around, would you? I’m not a kid!” She crossed her arms. 

“Why should I trust anything you say? You cried in therapy and then drop a bomb on me about how your life is not as you presented it. Now, I get that you’re running away-“

“WATCH IT, DEAN WINCHESTER!” 

“You came to a new town to start over. So start over. Don’t run from what’s going on in front of you.”  

“Hmph.”

“You don’t get to tell me about how to deal with you when you lie.”

YN shook her head, rolling her eyes. 

A FEW YEARS LATER

“DEE?” YN ran into the house. “Sam?” 

“What, T?” They walked into the living room from the kitchen.

“I -“ she sniffled. “I found my brother.”

“What?” 

“Found him on social media. He… he died though. I saw someone tagged him in his obituary.” Her face was red and puffy. 

“Wait, what?” His mouth opened. She ran into his arms. “Oh, T.” He sighed. 

After many minutes of crying, she quieted and wiped her eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Dee.” 

“It’s okay.” 

They sat down on the couch and he pulled her into his side, even though she resisted. 

“I know you’re not a hugger, but you need one. Relax,” Dean whispered. He felt her muscle tension release. “Good job.” They sat silently for a while before he looked down and saw her asleep next to him. “Oh, kid. I’m so sorry.” Dean said in his head. Not being able to move because of YN leaning into him, he fell asleep. 

When he woke up, YN sniffled and wiped her eyes again. 

“YN?” He looked down at her. 

“I need some alone time.” YN stood up and walked out the door.

“Don’t go home,” he chased after her. “Stay here. I want to keep an eye on you.” 

She turned around. 

“I want my blankets, and I want my stuffed animals. I don’t have that here. I moved out, remember?” 

“Fine. Go upstairs, hide under the covers. Sam will go get some of your things on his way home.” 

“No, I’m fine-“ 

“NOW.” Dean said from his throat. 

She swallowed hard. YN respected him enough to know he was serious even though she didn’t understand why he wanted her to stay. YN hung her head and walked back into the house.

“Come on.” She followed Dean to his room. He pulled out a pair of sweats and a shirt. When he offered them to her, she slowly accepted them. “You can go hide now,” Dean winked. 

Later that evening, Dean woke up to sounds in his room. 

“YN?” He rubbed his eyes. 

“I’m going to hurt you for stealing my girl,” a woman hissed. 

Dean tried to get up and defend himself, but his body was under his blankets, rendering him unable to fight back. Something hit his head. 

“Ah!” 

He fought his way out of his sheets, but he didn’t have time to stand up. When Dean put his arms up to protect himself, she slashed him with something, cutting his arms and his cheek. 

YN woke up hearing screaming. She raced to Dean’a bedroom where the noise was coming from. He was on his back with his hands behind him. A very prim and proper-looking lady stood over him with something shiny and skinny going toward his eye. Dean saw YN and indicated to his right. Looking to her left, she saw a lamp. The lady heard YN and tried to stab Dean’s eye with the object. Dean screamed in pain. YN saw the uninvited guest push it onto his eye. He screamed. YN kicked the back of her knee, knocking her off balance. They fought until YN missed a beat. Her opponent pulled out a knife and stabbed Dean in the chest. 

YN ripped the lamp cord out of the wall and chucked the object at the lady’s head. Splintering after it hit her, some of the pieces sprayed all over Dean. He whined. The lady lay incapacitated on the ground. YN pushed Dean to roll over and untie the bandana around his wrists. Crying from his injured eye, YN took her flannel off and put it up to his face. . 

“It hurts!” He made incoherent noises in too much pain to say anything else. 

“I got you.” 

YN called for Sam when she heard the door slam. He barreled up the stairs. Seeing the scene before him, he pulled YN away from Dean and the lady below her. 

“No!” She yelled. 

“Call 911!” Sam shoved his phone into her chest. “Dean,” he reached his older brother, and he took his hand. “Oh, Dean.” 

After Sam started screaming, realizing Dean was so hurt, YN was on the phone with 911, she looked down at the woman bleeding out on the ground. 

“Mom?”

________

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[wefoundloveunderthelight]

Wonderland by GleefullyCaptainSwan

Read on AO3: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Or on FF

Tagging: @kmomof4 @lfh1226-linda @teamhook

Chapter 4: It’s a Mad World

“Are you feeling defensive today because of the way the group session went yesterday?”

Emma looked up defiantly at her therapist. “Do you always let them say whatever they want?”

“It’s important that everyone in group gets to speak their mind, that includes you.”

“August was doing more than speak his mind. He called me a goddamn spoiled rich kid with daddy issues.”

“Are you?”

“What the fuck?” Emma said angrily.

“Emma, your father is rich, you’ve been afforded things that most others have not.”

“So what? That gives him the right to talk about me that way?”

“I didn’t say that I just asked what your thoughts are on his statement.”

“I think he’s full of shit.”

“How is your relationship with your father?”

“Wow. Ok. Well, he traveled a lot.” She rolled her yes. She wasn’t exaggerating, she saw her father maybe once or twice a month when he wasn’t on some business trip that took him out of the country.

“Did you resent him for that?” The man was staring into her soul.

“Hard to resent someone you barely know.” She stared at her fingers, clicking her nails against each other.

“What about your mother?”

“She’s dad’s soldier. Does all his work for him back home while he’s out there making his mark on the world.”

“She’s a manager at the New York Hotel?”

“Yes, she runs all his North American hotels. She’s smart, runs a tight ship. Honestly, mom could have done anything she ever wanted.”

“Did she always want to work in management?”

“God no, she wanted to be a teacher. Mom loves kids.”

“Yet you’re an only child?”

“Yeah well, guess they got too busy to think about a brother or sister, or maybe I was just too much of a handful, you’d have to ask them.”

Emma knew her mother wanted desperately to have another child; she’d heard her parents argue about it a few times when she was younger. When she turned 15, her mother went through a period of depression. Emma had escaped the house on more than one occasion with Neal to avoid their fighting.

“David, we waited too long.”

“You don’t know that darling, the doctors said this could have happen for any number of reasons.”

“If you’d been home more, actually been here.”

“You’re blaming me for this?”

“Do we have to talk about my parents?” Emma stirred nervously in her chair.

“What would you like to talk about?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never done this before.”

“Let’s talk about Neal.”

“Why?”

“He’s your boyfriend?”

She bit her lip and shifted in her chair. “Ok yeah, sure. I met Neal when I was 12. We went to school together.”

“And your parents like him?”

“My parents love Neal. Sometimes I think they like him more than me.”

“I’m so disappointed in you Emma. How could you do this again?”

“Why do you care?”

“Don’t talk to your mother like that and answer the question.”

“I was just having fun with friends. It’s not that big a deal.”

“You’re drunk! You’re only 16. How is this not a big deal, Emma?”

“Seriously mom, stop acting so high and mighty.”

“You need to find better friends. I can’t believe you ditched Neal to go drinking. Really Emma, after the way he stood by you the last time you got in trouble!”

“Are you fucking serious right now?”

“Emma Nolan, you are grounded for a month.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Neal does no wrong. He’s perfect. Heir to the Gold throne. Hell, I think my dad believes he walks on water.”

“Are you jealous of their affection toward him?”

“Jealous? No, I just find it hypocritical. They immediately believe that I’m the bad influence, no one stopped for one second to ask about Neal and what he was up to. Not once.”

“Should they have? Was there a reason for them not to trust Neal?”

“And once again, I’m bored with this subject.” She crossed her legs underneath her on the chair and buried her face in her hands.

“Come on Emma, just try it one time. If you don’t like it, you never have to do it again.”

“I don’t know, Neal. Is it dangerous?”

“Of course not, why do you think so many people are doing it? It will make you feel good, don’t you want to feel good?”

“Ok Emma let’s talk about what happened after you got arrested. How long were you in jail?”

“I spent 11 glorious months behind bars at Lakeview Shock Correctional. Not like it was hard time or anything, daddy paid a pretty penny to hide me in a minimum-security housing facility.”

“So, it wasn’t a juvenile center?”

“Nope, that really pissed him off, I got busted a week after my 18th birthday.”

“Did you have a difficult time while you were there?”

“Emma you can do it. One more push.”

“Oh God.”

“That’s it, the head is out.”

“It’s a boy. Do you want to hold him?”

“No.”

“Nope, pretty ordinary. Bad food, lots of alone time. Nothing to write home about.” She stared out the window, willing her subconscious to float above her, to drown out the memories and keep the tears at bay.

Her father had paid a lot of money to keep her out of prison, but mostly to keep the story hidden. The minute the baby was ushered out of the room, she was returned to her cell and no one ever spoke of it again. Her father refused to talk about it when she returned home, and her mother continued to pretend like nothing had ever happened.

“Ok Emma, I think that’s enough for today.” He was looking at her with apprehension.

“Awesome.” She pushed out of the chair and sprang free from the room, all the air draining from her lungs. She started to tug at the hem of her t-shirt, feeling like she was trapped in her clothes. She looked around the courtyard, she felt like everything around her was blurring before her eyes.

No! She couldn’t have an anxiety attack out here in the open.

Before she realized what was happening, she was running. She didn’t turn around or stop until she reached the sands of the beach. Bending over and heaving out breathes as she tried to stop her heart from racing. She turned toward the pier and ducked under the boards, climbing the sandy hill hidden from the sun and falling into the sand, her sobs coming out in panicked spurts.

“We really need to stop meeting like this, love.”

No. No. No. No. Not now.

“Go away.” She shouted, sucking in her breath.

“Are you alright, Swan?”

She sat up, tossing sand in his direction. “I’m fucking fine, now go away.” She watched him standing at the bottom of the hill, she could tell he was debating his next move and unless it was leaving, she was going to beat his ass.

Of course, he wouldn’t just leave, she watched him climb the sandy hill toward her.

“You don’t appear to be fine, lass.”

“Why are you so damned irritating?” She screamed, the tears starting to fall down her cheeks again. She blew out a breath and sucked in the air again.

“Swan, you need to breathe. You’re going to hyperventilate.” She rocked back and forth, her arms hugging her chest. She felt warmth against her back, a hand brushing circles against the fabric of her shirt. “It’s better to let it out.” His breath was warm against her ear as he pulled her into the side of his body.

Her hand clinched in his shirt, balling her fist against his chest. “I told you to leave!” She sobbed into his body.

“It’s bad form to leave a damsel in distress.”

She pulled back from him, his face staring at her with a concern that only fueled her annoyance. She felt anger rising in her chest when their eyes met. “The only one who saves me, is me.” She spat.

“Don’t take offense, I’m only trying to help.”

“You are so goddamn frustrating.” He smirked, which only made things worse. She needed to run away from the heat of the man seated beside her, away from his eyes staring into her soul, his arrogant smile still stuck to his face. The fact that he actually seemed worried about her was making the hairs on her arm stand on end. She shoved away from him, “Let go of me.” She stood up and he grabbed her hand.

“Emma…”

She yanked her hand back as if she had been shocked. “Stop touching me, asshole.”

“You really are a pain in the ass.” He stood up, his face inches from hers.

“I’m a pain in the ass? You’re the one who keeps following me around.”

“I was here first, love.”

Emma balled her hands in his shirt before she could stop herself, yanking his lips down to meet hers in a fury of heat and wanton desire. He didn’t hesitate to respond in kind, his fingers tangling tightly in her blonde locks as his tongue pressed against her lips. She opened her mouth with a groan, clinging to him in desperation as their tongues intertwined. When she came up for air, his forehead pressed against hers.

A sudden realization of what she had done began to dawn on her. She frantically pulled away from him.

“That was…” He started to speak, and she panicked.

“A one-time thing. A distraction. That’s all.” She backed away from him, turning quickly to leave and not looking back.

“Emma.”

“Don’t follow me.” She spat.

“As you wish.” She heard him say softly behind her.

She grumbled to herself all the way back to her room, when she entered, Ruby was putting on yoga pants and a sports bra.

“Emma, you’re just in time.” She looked up at her. “Oh my, are you alright? You look pale.”

“Gee thanks, but yes I’m fine, rough day in therapy.” She tore her t-shirt off her body. “What am I just in time for?”

“Spin class!”

“Um, yeah pass.”

“No way, you’re coming with me. It’s the best way to de-stress after therapy. Trust me, Zelena is amazing.”

She considered her options, either sit in her room, and relive the last fifteen minutes over and over in her head, thus driving herself insane, or sweat the kiss out of her system.

“Ok fine, spin it is.”

What Ruby failed to mention was that when she said that Zelena was amazing, what she meant was an insane crazy person.

“Come on you animals, push it harder! Sweat your way to recovery.”

“Oh my God what is with this woman, I can’t push any harder.” Emma panted.

“I heard that.” Zelena yelled in her direction, “When you think you can’t go any faster, find it in yourself to pick up the pace.”

Emma groaned and wiped the sweat off her forehead with her hand.

“Don’t just walk in my room late and expect not to get on one of these bikes.”

Emma peered over her shoulder and grunted when she saw August and Killian enter the room.

Can she do anything without that asshole following her?

She expected him to jump on the bike behind her and make some sort of inappropriate comment about her ass but instead he took the bike next to Ruby.

“I love seeing a woman work up a sweat.” He smiled at Ruby who giggled loudly.

“No laughing in my class, if you’re having fun, you aren’t working hard enough.” Zelena yelled.

She peered in his direction and their eyes met for half a second before he turned his attention back to Ruby. She rolled her eyes and focused her energy on moving her feet.

“Let’s go kids, five more minutes.” The red head screamed.

“I can go for more than five minutes, lass.” She heard Killian murmur toward Ruby.

“Oh, I bet you can.” Ruby returned the flirtatious discussion.

“If only I knew someone who could make that happen around here.”

“Maybe you do.”

Emma was getting winded, letting out a guttural groan, she took her feet off the pedals, the wheels spinning on their own until they came to a stop. She jumped off the bike and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around her neck and swigging from her water bottle before walking out of the gym, ignoring the red headed instructor who was yelling at her to get back on her bike.

She turned the corner to the dorms and ran into something solid.

“Apologizes! I hope I didn’t hurt you, beautiful.”

She looked up and smiled at Jefferson. “Sorry, that was my fault, I should have been paying attention.”

“No harm, no foul, Miss Emma.” He stared down at her. “Are you quite all right? You seem sad.”

“It’s been a long day.”

“Trust me, I know, I’ve had six months of them here.”

She laughed. “How have you survived?”

“Wanna know my secret?”

“Oh yes.”

“Come this way.” He grabbed her by the hand and pulled her down a series of corridors until she no longer recognized where they were. He turned around and put his forefinger over his lips and she put her hand over her mouth. He pushed through the double doors, bending over, and creeping along the wall. He peeked up into one of the windows and then pulled her past it into a dark room.

When they were both standing in the dark, he let go of her hand and moved away from her to the other side of the room. She heard a clicking sound, a soft light illuminated his face before the light was extinguished.

He was by her side again, and she felt his lips against her ear. “Follow me.”

She turned and followed him back the way they came until they were standing outside the doors they entered, and he was dragging her through another set of doors into a part of the courtyard she had never seen before.

“What did we just do?” She exclaimed as he plopped down onto the grass lawn and patted beside him for her to sit. When she did, he passed her a small edible item. “Ding dongs? Did we just do all that to steal ding dongs?”

He popped one into his mouth, lying back on the grass. “There’s nothing better after a stressful day. And they don’t give them out to the patients, but I found out that one of the cooks absolutely loves them and hides them in the storage behind the kitchen.”

Emma fell back onto the grass next to him, leaning her head onto his crossed arm. She took a bite of the treat and moaned. “Oh my God, that is good.”

“I told you.” He smirked. “You forget the simple things when you are out there, dealing with the world.”

She sighed. “Why are you still here after six months?” She asked seriously.

“It’s hard enough to live in a land where you don’t belong but knowing it…holding conflicting realities in your head…will drive you mad.”

“And you think you belong in here?”

“Oh no, I hate Wonderland.” He exclaimed. “But unfortunately, I have an affliction. Do you know what it’s like to be at odds with yourself? It’s like having two lives yet they live inside one mind. Double the pain, double the suffering.”

Emma frowned. “Don’t you want to get better?”

“I supposed I do. And yet here I am.” He grinned at her.

“You’re very odd.”

“Thank you.” He laughed, sitting up on his elbow and leaning closer to her. “I could tell the first day in group that you were special. Don’t let August scare you off.”

“Oh, I’m uh, I can handle him.”

“I believe that.”

He leaned over, lightly brushing his lips against hers and then pulling back to look at her. “I apologize, I’ve been arguing with myself for the last ten minutes about doing that.”

She didn’t know what to think of the kiss, Jefferson was sweet and kind, with a strange air about him, and the kiss was so very different than what she had experience earlier kissing Killian. The kiss from Jefferson was almost comforting compared to the desperate need she experienced earlier under the pier.

Both of their watches began beeping and she sat up quickly.

“Oh my, have we been out here that long? I uh, guess we should get back to our rooms or we’ll miss lights out.”

“Time flies when you are having fun. I’ll show you the way back.” He stood up, reaching his hand out for her. He pulled her to her feet and tugged her forward, keeping his hand in hers. Once they reached the building, he dropped her hand, guiding her through the hallways until she started to recognize her surroundings. He stopped at the fork in the hall.

“This is where we part, beautiful.”

“Thank you for sharing your secret with me tonight.” She whispered.

“I only hope it helped. Goodnight.” He winked before turning away from her and skipping toward his room.

Emma grinned and walked the rest of the way to her room. Ruby was lying on her bed. “There you are.”

“Oh hey.”

“You just took off tonight. What happened?”

“Just overheated, needed to get some air.”

“Ah Zelena’s classes can be like that. She’s pretty serious about cardio.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“You sure you’re ok? This wasn’t about Killian was it?”

“No, why would you think that?”

“I don’t know, you just seemed upset when we were flirting today. Are you interested in him? Because I can totally back off if you two have something going on?”

Emma bit her lip. She was most definitely not interested in that asshole. Not at all. Not even a little.

Liar.

“Nope, he’s all yours. I’m not into assholes.”

“Suit yourself, but honestly, can you imagine what he can do with that mouth of his?”

Emma flushed, remembering the feel of his mouth burning on her lips. “Never really thought about it honestly, he’s not my type.”

“Which part? The accent, the arms, his abs, or the bulge in his pants, cause I could keep going if I haven’t proven my point yet.”

“I didn’t say he wasn’t hot. He’s just…” She got into her bed and turned off the lights to mask the redness growing in her cheeks. “I can assure you his ego is probably bigger than his dick.”

“Well, one of us needs to find out, and if you’re not interested, then I volunteer as tribute.” She joked.

Emma rolled her eyes and turned over on her side, squeezing her eyes shut and praying for sleep. “You’re such a nerd, Ruby. But seriously good luck with that.” She grumbled before she fell asleep, blue pools of light haunting her dreams.

Notes:

I have updated the Chapter length to 21 chapters, I'm excited to say I have written all the words for Wonderland and I'm just going through and editing it now. :) Hope you are all enjoying the fic. Thanks again for reading!