#wow i really love weilan

[lansizhuis]

WARNING: ZHENHUN SPOILERS

WARNING: ZHENHUN NOVEL SPOILERS UNTIL THE END + HINTS ON EXTRAS

.

.

.

‪[WARNING: ZHENHUN NOVEL SPOILERS; i was word vomitting my thoughts solely on the novel so some of my initial points may have a diff conclusion in the end haha; honestly just block #spoilers tag i just needed to let this out and hey if you have your own takes and the like about this I’M MORE THAN HAPPY TO HEAR AND DISCUSS THEM ❤️]��

.

.

.

.

.

I was wondering what it was about WeiLan that I love so much. Tbh, for me, Zhenhun wasn’t really very well written (which was expected of an old work of priest dating back in 2012). It had a good premise and a potential for great world building on the whole gods, ghosts, humans, and reincarnation thing — sure. But that’s where it ended. Potential. Because at the end, the explanation on what happened was too mystical and confusing despite its genre being fantasy in a sense as well. The thing with magical genre is that yeah it can have ~magical reasons~ on plot but that magic should have “rules”. For example, one of the nature of ghosts is inevitably sucking up the life force of ordinary humans — that “rule” then points as a reason why SW cannot get close to Kunlun’s reincarnations. The reason was magical in nature but it also adhered to rules making it more “logical”. Zhenhun did good in setting those boundaries early on until the last fight where (personally) suddenly everything’s awry. The explanation was all over the place. The rules were thrown to the dust.

Zhenhun also introduced SID and we don’t see much found family diving more into them. Zhenhun was all about WeiLan (not that im complaining lol) but it had all the chance to show more of Zhao Yunlan with SID, with his mom, with his dad, etc — basically all the connections he has as a human being. And that’s what Zhao Yunlan was then — a human. Sure, he had some cute interactions with them (with him coming out to his mom most especially!) but I feel we could have had more. Or wait maybe I’m just used to MXTX’s writings where we get to see the focus on everyone’s humanity. Ahh, that could be a reason for this feeling then haha. (Shen Wei not having deep connections with others made perfect sense bc 1) he’s a ghost — remember their nature; and 2) his devotion and focus was on the first and only individual he’s ever loved who gave him so much of himself as well.)

Basically, the world building and side characters had so much potential but we didn’t get much of it. The focus was literally on WeiLan — and this is why it’s easy to say that WeiLan was extremely well developed but the same sentiments can’t be said to Zhenhun as a whole.

Controversial/Unpopular Take (most probably): I think that Zhenhun was, first and foremost, the love story between Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan. It was difficult to empathize at first when we barely deal with the characters’ “humanity”. Zhao Yunlan returns as a god and Shen Wei never was human. They both are entities far from us. And then we think back and deeper to the both of them and suddenly our empathy is easily pulled with certain realizations.

I first thought “wow, shen wei’s really obsessed with zhao yunlan”. And then I recalled that shit bruh this ghost felt his non-existent heart beat for Kunlun the first time they met, this ghost spent hundreds of years with Kunlun who showed him teasing gentleness and how it was okay to be more than what his nature dictated of him, this ghost was given the gift of freedom with the bone from his god, this ghost was presented a future with a purpose with his god’s soul willingly and lovingly gifted to him, and this ghost spent 5,000 years watching and suffering in silence (because never again will he inadvertently hurt his beloved like in that shen san extra). Who wouldn’t go mad? Who wouldn’t be obsessed? And he’s not even human — he’s a ghost, someone who was literally born from the depths of hell, someone who doesn’t have a soul, someone who’s an abomination because they’re darkness personified. Remember the theme for ghosts? The more beautiful they are, the more terrifying they are. And Shen Wei’s beauty was one of the recurring things we are reminded in the story. Priest lets us laugh at Zhao Yunlan’s thirstiness for the most beautiful being. But Priest simultaneously subtly nudges us to remember that Shen Wei is also the most terrifying being here. Shen Wei’s nature is to destroy and devour and then Kunlun shows up and he strives to be “better” but while Kunlun serves as an outside factor for the change he wanted to himself, it should also not be denied that Shen Wei’s individual choice (the internal factor) is extremely strong here as well. Shen Wei started out with just solely focused on Zhao Yunlan but in the end, while his intensity on his beloved never diminished, we see him softening up to select people because of his experiences and Zhao Yunlan’s reassurances on his love for him. We see how much Priest improved as a writer with that Shen San extra. It made us empathize with this dark ghost easier. We are suddenly given a glimpse on what he experienced; suddenly the 5,000 years isn’t just some number but a reminder that it was nothing but pain and suffering for this man. We feel for this inhumane ghost; that while he’s not human in any form — the story of his love and devotion was something we can now understand as human beings.

Now, there’s Zhao Yunlan, our reincarnating god and Shen Wei’s most beloved. He was a human majority of the story and we see snippets of his connections which as I already said had so much potential but weren’t fully dived upon. At first he served as majority of the light tone and humor with how thirsty he was for Shen Wei, how he joked with his SID team, and how he’s weak against his mom and has daddy issues haha. And I kept on thinking “god he’s such a man-child why tf is shen wei in-love with him”. Then tiny hints are shown. Zhao Yunlan kept on trying to save the “girls” who kept on jumping off the building because while they’re fake, what if one really needed saving? Zhao Yunlan who keeps on threatening to cut his team’s bonus but has not really done that. Kunlun who readily sacrificed himself to save the world; Kunlun who took in this weird ghost king; Kunlun who took parts of him to gift this beautiful, terrifying ghost a chance, a future, and godhood. Fate even remakes him as a savior despite being human with the start of the foundations of the Guardian Order initially from Shen San. We now see that despite his asshole and rough exterior, Zhao Yunlan‘s core was a very kind individual — as a god and as a human being. And of course, all those mistakes and lies that Shen Wei made? Zhao Yunlan doesn’t excuse him (as much as i often joke how he’s the biggest shen wei apologist) as he explicitly calls him out on it and they try to improve from there each time. He opens his arms to him and welcomes Shen Wei home and this shows us the depth of his own love as well. Zhao Yunlan makes Shen Wei understand that it’s okay if he makes mistakes, that it’s okay if he isn’t really as “kind” as his facade is, and that it’s okay even if Shen Wei is an abominable creature. Zhao Yunlan shows Shen Wei that he doesn’t have to be perfect to be worthy of (his) love. This is what Zhao Yunlan’s story is telling us as well — that we too don’t have to be pure in order to have the “right to be loved”; and that our kindness can inspire others to be their best versions.

This is why I think Zhenhun was, first and foremost, the love story between Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan and later, how their story impacts on us. We learn to empathize with someone not human who was deep inside so raw in his emotions. We learn from a god/human that love doesn’t have to be “justified” — we love because we love and there is no need to attach explanations to such a beautiful emotion. We learn that so long as we have at least one person to give us that unconditional love and we accept it then that is more than enough; and that this can serve as our bridge in learning how to love and accept others as well. And we learn that while Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan seems far off entities as they’re not humans and one only had a touch to experience of what it was like to be one — “love” is a common ground for any creature.

[imaginaryelle]

Why do you ship liushen? Is that couple your favorite side couple (non-canon) from all of mxtx works? [Compare to, for example : beefleaf (shi qingxuan/ke xuan), xiyao (lan xichen/meng yao), fengqing (feng xin/mu qing), etc]

Thanks....

Oh, good questions. So, first: I haven't read TGCF (yet), so I can't comment on beefleaf and fengqing. It's on my list, and I do love a good examination of belief and godhood, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

Second: My favorite non-canon couple in an MXTX work is probably Qijiu, followed by that rarest of trios, Yue Qingyuan/Shen Qingqiu/Liu Qingge. Then Liushen, then 3zun, nielan and xiyao.

Part of the reason they're ordered this way is because I'm interpreting "favorite" in this case as "most likely to read and write fic for." As I am actively writing fic for the first two, they get ranked higher, but I do enjoy the others a lot!

Okay, on to the main question:

Liushen hits a few fun shipping buttons for me. A lot of my ships look something like: intelligent and unconventional wizard/engineer meets a steadfast paladin (who maybe has some issues with rigid thinking) and then they enable each other in both fantastic and terrible ways, probably while at least one of them is in denial about or suppressing their feelings.

You might notice that that describes pretty much every ship I listed, plus like. wangxian, stevetony, and a few other things you can find in my fandom history if you go back far enough. weilan shifts only slightly to the side, because Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan switch off which of them is playing which role based on their circumstances.

So, what makes Liushen stand out? Trope-wise, I love enemies to friends to lovers almost as much as I love friends to lovers. I'm a sucker for life debts changing a character's perspective. And a romance among peers? Comrades in arms? Sparring practice and mutual attempts to rescue each other???? Amazing, fantastic, give me more.

Plus, it's cute! The fan thing is cute. The way they're both effectively monster geeks is cute, and lends itself to some great teamwork potential. The mix of fighting styles is excellent. Shen Yuan going "wow, Liu Qingge is the most beautiful man in the world and possibly all of history, it's unbelievable how beautiful he is" and then "hm? My sexuality? Oh, I'm 100% straight" is hilarious to me. Liu Qingge's journey of self discovery and the idea that maybe he wants more in his life than constant training is something I find really personally fulfilling, too, and when they come together there's a lot of opportunity for shenanigans as well as the romance.

Some of it, too, is about unrealized potential: That is, after all, the main reason I will write fic of anything, but these two are especially good at that potential part. Shen Yuan doing his best to save Liu Qingge even though he has no idea what he's doing, just because he thinks Liu Qingge doesn't deserve to die for making the mistake of thinking he has to be alone. Liu Qingge's relentless attempts to reclaim SQQ's body so he can at least have a decent burial. That moment near the end when SQQ says, "I asked you because I trusted you."

It's a very good ship.

[the-marron]

Tag Game

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!  

Thanks @verochkasnightmarecorner for tagging me! :D

I decided to include my works solo, not counting works I created with @dobranocka because a lot of these opening lines are not mine, even though I love them a lot. So, from the newest to the oldest:

1. The party is in the full swing, the mansion filled with laughter and not-so-secret business deals conducted on the expensive sofas and in the darkened hallways. (WIP, Weilan Derrivatives, LNS/LF mob au)

2. It started with a joke. (There Can Be Only One, Guardian, Weilan, crack)

3. Guo Changcheng is very confused about how he ended up here. (Come my love, be one with the sea, Guardian, Weilan + ChuGuo, POTC au)

4. When Shen Wei looks out of his window, the familiar black car is already there.  (Constant Vigilance, Guardian, Weilan, 1930s spy au crack)

5. Shen Wei had always assumed that he was used to pain. (The Once And Future Hei Pao Shi, Guardian, Weilan, post-canon crack )

6. Click. Click.

The eyes move, their brown irises catching light. (Deceive me kindly (while I'm still here), Guardian, Weilan, steampunk!au )

7. Everyone had their limits. (One Prize I'd Cheat to Win, Guardian, Weilan, no powers!au )

8. Shen Wei is not sure where they are heading. (When I walk past the mountain peak, it doesn’t speak, Guardian, Weilan, post-finale fix-it)

9. “No,” Lao Chu says and glares at them for good measure. (The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Dragon City, Guardian, Weilan, crack )

10. It’s the beginning of their second week under when they finally have a breakthrough. (Jia Jia and The Guardian Lantern, Guardian, Weilan, canon compliant post-finale fix-it)

11. “Get him!” Those are the last words that leave Zhao Yunlan’s mouth as he disappears in the wormhole, and Shen Wei doesn’t have the time to wonder, to think, because if he doesn’t act now Zhao Yunlan might disappear forever. (Changed Course, Guardian, Weilan, fix-it )

12. "Let’s make a bet,” Shen Wei says, and his voice has this raw honesty to it that stops Zhao Yunlan from whatever goodbye he tried to formulate. (When I Make an Oath to the Flames, Guardian, Weilan, post-canon break-it and make it worse)

13. Zhang Chengling was aware that he wasn’t exactly an average kid. (There's Nothing in This World I Wouldn't Do, Word of Honor, Wenzhou, modern au crack)

14. “I would really like it if you came,” said Chengling, his voice gradually getting quieter with each word. (Journey's Homeward Bound, WoH, Wenzhou, modern au crack)

15. This is the last one for tonight. (We Watch and Burn and Reign , DC Comics, TimJay, Talon au )

16. It started as a joke. Or rather, it started as a genuine need for information that got turned into a joke because, well, Jason. (Red Robin and Red Hood’s Comprehensive Guide To Bat Romance, DC Comics, TimJay + others, crack. Longer quote because wtf, I started two separate fics the same way???)

17. When Jason wakes up, he wishes he hadn’t. (Stones of Fear, Stones of Doubt, DC Comics, TimJay, canon-compliant? )

18. “We need Grindelwald,” Albus Dumbledore, the Marshall of the last base ready to fight the Kaiju had never anticipated having to say this out loud. (To Fight Monsters, We Created Monsters, Fantastic Beasts franchise, Grindeldore, Pacific Rim au)

19. Being a hero is easy. You beat up the bad guys, save innocent citizens, earn the love of a beautiful lady, preferably a journalist, and become a beacon of hope to everyone. (Face to Face, My Lovely Foe, Haikyuu!!, Bokuaka, superhero au, once again a longer quote because wow, are they brief)

20. Hinata had heard stories about strange creatures living in the forest. (Sword in the Stone, Haikyuu!!, Bokuaka + Kagehina, Arthuriana au)

Soooo... I apparently have the unfortunate tendency to start out with short setences that tell the reader absolutely nothing at all. This, or dialogues. And I managed to repeat the exact same sentence in two separate fics, wow.

I think my favourite opening line so far is from the steampunk au, mostly because I actually like the whole beginning of this fic and I enjoy the fragment that follows the opening line, aside from that, the WIP one is the most enjoyable for me, I think.

Interesting experience, really, I like this tag game, it changed my perspective a bit, and I remember doing this a few years ago and the openings looked completely different and I had different observations, so yay progress?

Tagging @flamboyantlycriminal, @dobranocka, @the-cookie-of-doom, @wyfto2812, @flsongbird722, if you feel up to it, it’s fun :)

[zhuhongs]

fuck im thinking abt Weilan again.. just.. i wonder if it was heartwarming or heartbreaking or probably both for Shen Wei seeing how Zhao Yunlan likes him. Like even when ZYL hadnt even met shen wei, he said he felt like theyve meet. HOW must shen wei have felt to know that this is zhao yunlans first time meeting him in this life and still he feels so connection. like... thinking about it.. zyl rlly just had a premonition abt this guy and even though he didnt know him he just liked him and pursued him. and all this time Shen Wei knows what happened but cant say. but that must be kinda validating but also very bittersweet. to know that the person he cared about for so long actually returns his feelings. bittersweet bc hes been alone with those feelings for so long, hes probably at peace with that loneliness and then out of the blue, he meets the person he misses most and ofc he doesnt know him. but zyl has a feeling about him and just rlly likes Shen Wei and cant really explain it and that blows my mind. esp in the novel we get to see zyls thoughts and exactly how his feelings go from "hot professor 😏" to "i want to grow old with u and come home to u forever" and i just... i cant put it in words, i just woke up, but its insane!!! its insane... imagine after pining that long... you receive the love you've only ever dreamed off... thats.. wow. and that the person you love, loves you even without knowing all of what had happened and you havent done anything like what they have but they simply just love you, without and grand actions. amazing.. insane. ive thought abt guardian almost every single day since january 🤣🤣🤣

[rose-of-tori]

Tag Game

A huge thank you to @rose-nebulijia for tagging me! Sorry it took me 10 hundred years to actually respond ^.^ For those who don't know, I'm Fuzzball457 on Ao3 :)

Rules: Tag nine people you want to know better!

Favorite color: probs orange or dark purple - ask me in ten minutes and you'll get a different answer

Currently reading: Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison for uni and The Buried Giant by Kazou Ishiguro + a truck load of ff (currently mainly cdramas with the occasional TUA fic)

Last Song: spotify says Madonna by Luna & I Wanna Be Your Slave by Maneskin, youtube says THIS cover of the Winter Begonia OST

Last series: currently knee-deep in Winter Begonia (wow that is WeiLan levels of intense gay eye contact), last series I finished was Move to Heaven (10000% recommend) + a miscellaneous handful of true crime documentaries

Last movie: i really don't watch movies very often b/c i am impatient...my Netflix history says the last movie I watched was Paddleton.

Sweet, savoury or spicy: i have an insane sweet tooth

Craving: uhhhh??? I mean I'm always craving some PingXie? Also always craving solid ace representation and waffles (not necessarily together).

Currently working on: my never ending slew of reading/researching/writing for university, some miscellanous fics for Beyond Evil and k-pop, but the biggest drain on my time atm is gearing up for NaNoWriMo, which I've never done before and I"m hoping to use to rewrite/second draft my MFA novel/manuscript.

Tagging: tots no pressure, some of you barely know me ^.^, but some peeps I want to know more about (probs b/c i love ur writing): @laireshi @alxina @pissmeoffanddie @fizferret @daydreamorama

ummmm I think everyone else I know has already been tagged?? Sorry if anyone got double-tagged. But if u see this, feel free to join in :D Hope everyone's having a good day!

[lady-a-white]

I posted 3.003 times in 2021

48 posts created (2%)

2955 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 61.6 posts.

I added 2.224 tags in 2021

#art - 623 posts

#mdzs - 493 posts

#lan wangji - 261 posts

#wei wuxian - 229 posts

#tgcf - 145 posts

#nirvana in fire - 111 posts

#guardian - 107 posts

#镇魂 - 97 posts

#the untamed - 81 posts

#winter begonia - 77 posts

Longest Tag: 117 characters

#if someone has somewhere even an english translation of them please have pity on me and tell me where i can find them

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Did he really... wow.

I'm loving this

10 notes • Posted 2021-04-21 15:14:11 GMT

#4

I love Priest with all myself, but if she quotes the Shanhaijing or the Huainanzi again I'm going to lose my mind.

It's impossible to find their translations in Italian and my Chinese is not good enough to translate quote from them properly.

14 notes • Posted 2021-03-22 10:04:57 GMT

#3

ABOUT ME MEME Thanks, but no thanks @as-rare-as-trees for tagging me (I should really tag you in all this kind of games to make you make choices)

what color are your eyes? Brown

what little thing instantly tells you that a person is good? I think it’s their smiles, but I have a really good sixth sense and sometimes it influences my first impressions too much

do you have a recurring dream? Not really a recurring dream, but I often dream giant things, like flowers or animals or mushrooms

how often do you find yourself daydreaming? Not often, I try to keep myself busy all the time, so if I daydream I do it while I’m really tired

name/nickname? Too many nicknames: Angy, Angie, Engy, Gengy, Geggé, Gè, ‘Ngè... it depends on who is talking to me

zodiac? A very proud Capricorn

languages? Italian, English, Spanish and Mandarin. The last two not very well, because I don’t use them often.

favourite season? Winter 🥰

favourite colour? Red, Brown, Black and Midnight Blue. I can’t choose one

favourite animals? Wolves and Pandas

favourite character? Difficult question, it really depends on my current “obsession”, so I’d say Lan Wangji? Shen Wei? Spock? Jane Eyre? 

tea, coffee, or hot chocolate? Coffee and occasionally tea. I don’t like chocolate

average hours of sleep? 6

cat or dog? I’m not a pet person, but I prefer cats

number of blankets slept with? It depends on the weather, but at least one for every season

place ancestors are from? Obviously Italy, but on my mom side we have some greek ancestors

dream trip? China or a trip along the trans-Siberian railway

blog established? 2010? 2011? I’m not sure

random fact about yourself? I have a very high tolerance to spicy food and alcohol

three ships? Wangxian, Weilan and Spirk

last song? 2021: A Space Odyssey by Ayunga

last movie? Probably a rewatch of The Greatest Showman with @as-rare-as-trees and our little brother

currently reading? Youyi by Priest, Between Heaven and Earth by B.Carle e C.D. Smith and I’m rereading Persuasion by Jane Austen

currently watching? Star Trek Deep Space Nine and Oh my general (but we haven't watched an episode in months)

currently craving? Sushi and a the rice with chicken and mushrooms I ate in a chinese restaurant in Milan two years ago Tagging: I don’t really talk to many people, so I’m going to tag the ones who I talked to at least once: @imaybeshy @absolutelyfibulas @the-evil-pizza @thirdofjune

17 notes • Posted 2021-09-21 21:32:32 GMT

#2

I love that in every Priest novel that i read till now there is some kind of animal/pet with one of the protagonists:

-Daqing in Zhenhun

-Luo Wenzhou's cat in Mo du (best cat ever, he even gets drunk by mistake)

-the sable and the little viper in Qiye (both venomous obviously)

-the parrot in Sha Po Lang

-the dog and the parrot in Guomen

17 notes • Posted 2021-01-24 15:14:12 GMT

#1

I'm 4 episodes from the end of Nirvana in Fire and my reading list for 2021 is officially ruined. I need to read the novel and see if it's as good as the drama.

17 notes • Posted 2021-01-06 17:10:20 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[puppy-phum]

For the writer asks!!!

4, because I’m curious!!

16, because I feel like you’ve been posting way more writing recently, and I’m curious if your process / intention has changed !!

Sorry if you’ve already done either of these! If you have please accept my endless love and affection for you 🥺

sierra!! the love of my life!!! always humoring me whenever i attempt any of these things wow i don’t deserve you ;; 

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

oh jeez. i have no idea what to put here so suddenly but let’s see...

from my liu sang fic this:

Unfortunately, where that smile can nurture, it can cripple too. When Wu Xie hides yet another cough inside his palm, air wheezing in his throat, Liu Sang can hear the tiniest hitch in his idol’s steady heartbeat. It startles him; the reaction almost violent in Zhang Qiling’s unwavering current.

i just like to watch pingxie through his eyes, especially when liu sang doesn’t really trust wu xie, doesn’t understand him at all and lowkey hates him for it. there’s also a bit of jealousy there and then confusion over his idol being so... attached. which he doesn’t want to admit. it’s sometimes hard to put into words but i’m trying. 

this from the last part of binding:

“I know,” he answers because of that, “But I also know that you don’t believe that Hei Yanjing can die. Just like I don’t believe that Xiaoge can because he’s supposed to stay. They’re both more than us. They’re both more than this world, I think.” He shrugs, and Xiao Hua studies him, eyes growing a bit darker with the slowly forming clouds. They have swallowed the sun now, and Wu Xie wonders if it will rain.

i adore the part i wrote for wu xie and xiao hua. they have an interesting dynamic and it’s somehow so nice to make xiao hua a bit cruel in this very gentle, caring type of way? he manages to say the hard things but also hides from other things he finds hard for himself (and that’s why these two also tease each other a lot). 

also the beginnings for both of weilan’s povs in my guardian au that will never get written, probably:

He’s dying. He knows that. 

It’s in the way his joints ache and his breath wheezes, how his legs feel weaker by the day, his body growing more tired. It’s in the way the black tendrils of sickness stretch across his neck, slip down his chest, curl around his wrists. It will eat him up, he knows. He’s made his peace with it.

That’s why he’s here in the first place. Dying, trying to make his last months count. There is no one waiting for him, to mourn him, and so he only wants to do something before his inevitable end, wants to at least matter.

that was shen wei and then zhao yunlan:

Shen Wei is dying. That he knows. 

What he does not know is why it bothers him so much to see the man so fragile. He’s pale, like a ghost, boney fingers twisted into his dirty shirt and dark smudges under his eyes. The black cracks that make his skin look like a web of inky veins disappear under his shirt and peek out around his wrists just over the gloves this place requires him to wear. He has death written all over his features, and Zhao Yunlan has been told that this man has one month at most to live.

Some part of him aches at the thought, old memories of blood flashing before his eyes. But has he ever fought such battles? Has he ever lost what he feels he has?

i love making parallels in my writing. i love highlighting some of the word choices by repeating them in my narrative, using them again and again to make the reader return to the previous moments where i used them. it also shows how differently you can use a certain word or a sentence when the context is different. binding has a lot of this too when wu xie drifts between dreams and memories :’D

16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

oh! this is a cool question :o also idk if i’ve posted any more writing than usual, at least any actual finished writing, but hmm. when it comes to fandoms, dmbj is relatively new! i haven’t written much for it yet :’D then there’s also the long ballad which i’ve been pondering a lot and wrote this tiny snippet for so that is new too, very new. which also means a lot of new povs lol and the most interesting currently is hei xiazi bc wow that man is. amazing?

idk about anything else? i’ve mentioned this before but with my pingxie, i actually for the first time tried writing stuff in nonchronological order. just,,, wrote whatever came to me at that moment and then patched stuff together. i think am gonna continue like that bc in that way, i would probably even finish things and not just get stuck on some stupid scene in the middle :’D 

also idk if this has changed my style? binding includes a lot of style trials i’d say, just me looking into things and going, “ok so this works like this now” and leaving it there. that’s how all the dreams etc. were born. it’s just me playing with words and scenes in my head. tho that has also made me want to try very different styles! i want to hone my writing. i want to make it better. i want to... idk. create fuller stories? binding has also made me look at my writing in a new light and see what works and what doesn’t. am not sure how am gonna fix things yet but am... figuring it out?  

thanks for sending me this ♥ i hope you are resting well and don’t feel so sick anymore once you wake up :’) 

[extraordinarilyextreme]

finally watched Guardian (2018) and i need to talk

Warning: contains MASSIVE SPOILERS, probably too much music/song analysis, my poor translations from Chinese to English, and some references to the original novel (disclaimer: my novel-reading was mostly jumping around because i have a problem where I’m not fluent enough to read the original Chinese novel and I don’t usually like English translations)

1. the freakin opening theme: We Won’t Be Falling by Chen Xueran... (also I see you Tina Guo on the cello thank you queen)

the amount of chills i get every time an episode starts,,, fantastic! marvelous! the lyrics are very VERY apt to the story of Guardian, esp this drama adaptation

(“We are the one/We will be holding on/For the promise we held for life/For the people we love are leaving” ... “And the story will keep on going”)

1.1. the promise? may i direct you to novel chapter 75? 

Shen Wei: “Sometimes I think if one day you can remember everything, then I will be able to say to you: look, I did it, I did all that I had promised you; not one bit did I miss, not one word did I go back on.”

they promise to keep the peace, to protect both Haixing and Dixing; and in the show, it’s a promise they keep with their lives

2. Zhu Yilong plays THREE characters and is able to differentiate them perfectly with particular microexpressions

-Ye Zun (literally, “Respect the Night”; “Lord/Master of the Night” would be a better title) sets off my fight-or-flight instincts even though i think his name tries a little too hard to be edgy; the way he sneers, the smiles that don’t reach his eyes, also that infamous tongue flick when Zhao Yunlan sees through the act... i think it’s both great and sad that Yunlan could differentiate the twins because, why, Shen Wei would never be so openly flirtatious (and wear a deep-cut shirt like that lol)... the delivery of “Xiao Yunlan” disturbed me so much—wonderful, stellar acting

-Black Cloaked Envoy: does his best to bend the rules where he can for the Dixingren because he’s just so fundamentally GOOD; he’s empathetic despite how stern and strict he seems to be, and how much he claims to enforce the clearly-cut laws... he’s an absolute babie ten thousand years ago (Yunlan, doesn’t it hurt your conscience to flirt with such a babie?)

-Shen Wei: in the novel, his name (both surname and first name) are given to him by Kun Lun’s incarnations—there’s a lot of power in naming something, in naming someone; he’s good-natured and gentle, always polite... he pushes up the glasses [that he doesn’t need] a lot, perhaps because he’s used to pushing up his mask as the Envoy

2.1. i find it very striking that Shen Wei dies without his glasses; he doesn’t die as the Envoy, he doesn’t die as the Professor; he dies as a person, as the person who loves Yunlan the most and has loved Yunlan for ten thousand years

2.2. the other notable moments we see Shen Wei without his glasses are where he apologizes to Yunlan [and Yunlan apologizes at the same time because they’re pining idiots] for not noticing the camera in his office, where he sets aside all his pride as Envoy and Professor and kneels in the rain for the man he loves (lwj kneeling after visiting the Burial Mounds, yea?), and of course after he slices up an orange [cuz food = love] only to find Yunlan asleep and drapes his jacket over the silly silly man... anyway, Yunlan is indeed the only person Shen Wei is comfortable enough to reveal everything to, all defenses and masks (literal and figurative) lowered

2.3. that last instance (ep 26) is when Shen Wei pulls out his necklace and reminisces as he gazes fondly at Yunlan; the song that plays during this is 《乱心曲》or “Chaotic Heart Song”... may I direct you to novel chapter 65 where Yunlan finds all the paintings and pictures his Xiao Wei has kept from the centuries?

“邓林之阴初见昆仑君，惊鸿一瞥，乱我心曲。” which translates to “In the shade of the woods I first saw Kunlun-jun; a glimpse of his grace wrought chaos in my heart’s song”

2.4. but also let’s not forget the [in]famous cut wrist scene of ep 23, where our dear Shen Wei, without glasses, as a person who loves Yunlan—not the aloof Envoy or the well-spoken Professor—is reduced to two words: “Worth it.” Yunlan is worth everything to him; this goes without question, without a second thought. Kun Lun (Yunlan) told him not to regret whatever decisions he’ll make, and Ye Zun scolds and laughs at his brother for giving up his life for a human/Haixingren, but of course Shen Wei doesn’t regret dying to protect Yunlan, dying to protect Haixing. (also, peep the behind-the-scenes where Shen Wei grabs Yunlan’s hand for a moment as he blocks the attack from Ye Zun)

2.5. on this same train of thought, Da Qing brings up a line from ten thousand years ago where Shen Wei claimed he would never kill unless it was for the world... and, well, he kills for Yunlan doesn’t he?

3. Bai Yu plays our charismatic Chief Zhao Yunlan/Kun Lun and hoo boy does he do an excellent job; the found family vibes of the SIU are spectacular and the way he flirts with tries to recruit Professor Shen is endearing and touching

3.1. there’s another piece from the OST called 《一点真心》, translated to “A Little Sincerity” though I would use “A Bit of a Sincere Heart” because it too references the novel

Kun Lun’s confession to Xiao Wei: “我富有天下名山大川，想起来也没什么稀奇的，不过就是一堆烂石头野河水，浑身上下，大概也就只有这几分真心能上秤卖上两斤，你要？拿去。” [I’m rich with famed mountains and endless rivers under heaven, but none of it feels rare when I think about it. It’s all just a pile of broken stones and uncultivated streams. From head to toe, there is probably only this bit of my sincere heart that is worth anything weighed on a scale. You want it? Take it.]

Zhao Yunlan’s confession to Shen Wei: “我别的东西也有，只是你可能大多都看不上，只有这一点真心……你要是不接着，那就算了吧。” [I have other things, only you probably would not think much of them. There’s only this bit of my sincere heart... If you don’t want to catch it, then forget it.)

And Shen Wei’s reply to Yunlan’s confession is of course “我接住了。” [I’ve caught it.]

3.2. the novel is a happy ending because Xiao Guo’s important role actually plays a part (i literally don’t understand why the show couldn’t do that after they built up so many expectations about his good character/merit/inability to be corrupted but ANYWAY)... Shen Wei, Xiao Wei, the little Ghost King has a soul and wow isn’t that just beautiful after everything he did to become worthy/deserving of Kun Lun’s attention and love

4. the Zhang Ruonnan and Wang Yike (death-touch Dixingren) case in ep 3 is an obvious parallel to the “brotherly” relationship of WeiLan... Shen Wei’s line of “Many tragedies were destined from the start” references the show of course but also the paradoxical precognition that marks the drama version of WeiLan; in both of their “first meetings”, one of them was always already in love with the other—Yunlan, as Kun Lun, knew he would have to return to his own time at some point and thus doom this impressionable young Envoy to ten thousand years of waiting and Shen Wei (honestly in a Code Geass Lelouch kinda style) knew he would have to die to defeat his brother

4.1. the importance of “touch” in this case alludes to novel WeiLan, where of course Shen Wei watched over all of Kun Lun’s incarnations but wasn’t allowed to get close to him because hungry ghosts would inevitably devour the essence of the people around them; similarly Yike was terrified of touching Ruonnan all this time... but Ruonnan accepted her (just like how novel Kun Lun lets this intriguing little Ghost King trail after him)

4.2. speaking of Shen Wei’s grand plans and the idea of “knowing”, Yunlan reminds him that “You are not a weapon/blade, you are a person.” and wow once again, only Yunlan can pull the humanity from Shen Wei, who has carefully crafted his disguise and personality to fit what people expect of the Envoy and the Professor... but alas, Shen Wei fulfills his promise by in fact making himself a weapon; he poisons himself to become a bomb that will take down his brother

4.3. as many qualms and complaints as I have with Chinese censorship, much in the case of WangXian, i think i prefer the drama version of WeiLan to the novel version; the plot of the Guardian novel is a lot better in my opinion (with references to mythology and legends, as opposed to, what, aliens?? mutants from X-Men? quirks in My Hero Academia??) and yea the relationship of Kun Lun with Xiao Wei is built up a lot better and makes more sense than the time-travel of Yunlan masquerading as Kun Lun with Shen Wei... but there’s an unadulterated, unconditional kind of love that runs through the drama, whereas the novel had some darker (though probably more realistic) vibes of near-possessiveness and ulterior motives... Kun Lun/Yunlan in the novel can be, well, cruel, which is not necessarily out of character; it’s just seems a little wrong to me that you could threaten your partner in a relationship (if you keep things from me again, i really will turn against you + had i known xyz would happen, i really should have killed you)... plus i’m always a sucker for love without an “i love you”, a love that’s conveyed entirely through actions and gazes

5. Yunlan asks Zhou Weiwei (the mirror case) where her jacket was bought because he “wants to get one for [his] girlfriend” and lo and behold, what similarly-styled and colored coat does our Shen Wei show up in a few episodes later? (also the fact that Shen Wei dies wearing this jade-ish-blue-ish coat)

6. boyfriend jacket during the Moutain-River Awl case... boyfriend jacket!!!! Shen Wei claims he doesn’t need it and well he still wears it anyway because Yunlan’s love is unstoppable

6.1. the way Shen Wei grabs Yunlan’s elbow before running down the hill

6.2. Shen Wei being so freaking fine-tuned to Yunlan’s discomfort/pain as always that he drinks wine for him (and passes out immediately—heroics/bde of yllz! wwx and the alcohol tolerance of our dear lwj)

6.2.1. when Minister Gao brings up Yunlan’s dad and the Chief’s hands tighten... and of course nothing can go by Shen Wei, so he changes the topic of the conversation; also the way he leans forward as if to shield Yunlan

6.2.2. Yunlan is similarly Aware of his boyfriend’s boundaries; cue him politely excusing themselves from the dinner with Vice-Minister Guo when Shen Wei (of all people!) fumbles with his chopsticks

6.2.3. Yunlan also blocks Shen Wei from Minister Gao’s sight (subconsciously?) after that wedding showdown... even though he’s unhappy that Shen Wei has kept the identity of the Envoy from him, he trusts the other man enough to recognize there must be a reason; thus he doesn’t want other people to pry into the possibility that Shen Wei is a Dixingren

6.3. also, also that Shen Wei lets Yunlan have his way and use him as a pillow in the car once again (he also adjusts the actual pillow beneath Yunlan’s head to make it more comfortable)

6.3.1 the other Shen-Wei-is-Yunlan’s-pillow scene is when the professor picks up the poor hurting Chief off the road and in the taxi ride home... apparently this was an improvised scene from Bai Yu who just wanted to mess with Long-ge and our great Zhu Yilong just stayed in character and ran with it

6.3.2. the other notable improvised scene is the cute “Black Cloaked gege~ please be careful~ there’s someone is waiting for you at home~” [sorry that i don’t remember the exact line] but once again our great leading actors just stay perfectly in character

6.4. after Shen Wei wakes up from a night of being drunk (lol) Yunlan has left a note for him “I’ve gone back first, stay in touch. -Zhao” and what’s that on the corner of the note? why it’s a winky face

7. when Yunlan grabs the fake Zhang Danni’s wrist to confirm his suspicions, Shen Wei narrows his eyes... (lol is our Black Cloaked gege jealous)

8. when Yunlan claims he can swallow the painkillers dry, Shen Wei clenches his jaw in his anger at this idiot of a man for not taking better care of himself... you’ll find that a lot of Shen Wei’s anger is directed toward his husband being a self-sacrificial fool

8.1. after Yunlan uses the Hallows again and his nose begins to bleed, Zhu Yilong in all his acting glory has Shen Wei furious to the point that his lips tremble (cue Shen Wei angrily shoving a handkerchief into his husband’s face) [i really want to know if they ever broke character during this scene due to their proximity lol]

8.1.1. Shen Wei all but invades Yunlan’s personal space (he really does stand there between Yunlan’s legs guys) and he’s so careful even though he’s angry as he tries to stop the nosebleed; he’s aware the force might tip Yunlan backwards, so he immediately rests his hands on Yunlan’s thighs/knees to steady him

9. Yunlan has claimed that he doesn’t do things for the sake of gaining anything in return and yet every time he’s wanted things from dear Shen Wei... “take off your mask and smile for me”, “join the SID”... the sexual tension is Unreal during these scenes lol, you can see Shen Wei swallow visibly in anticipation + babie Shen Wei of ten thousand years prior all but chokes on his words when he promises to do ANYTHING Kun Lun wants him to do (honey where is your mind GOING???)

9.1. Bai Yu does have a bruise on his knee after the scene where Yunlan asks Shen Wei for something... dunno if it’s the actor’s bruise or the character’s bruise, but if it’s the character’s bruise—how did he get it? what exactly did WeiLan do that evening lol

9.2. also peep the fact that Yunlan almost always has a lollipop in his mouth when talking to Shen Wei... oral fixation much? (also the whole sequence where he tries to explain how to eat a lollipop to babie Shen Wei, wow the amount of homoerotic tension)

9.3. babie Shen Wei’s ears and cheeks are SO RED when Yunlan snatches the mask off his face

10. Yunlan’s hairstyle changes after Shen Wei joins the SIU (joins his family), much like how a bride would change her hairstyle after marriage in China ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (random note but CQL WangXian does this too when lwj puts his hair down/styled over the front of his shoulders when wwx wakes up 16 years later)

11. the first time we see Shen Wei spit up blood, there’s an echo of “Xiao Wei” faintly and Shen Wei mutters to himself “Xiao Lan” before looking up and saying louder “Zhao Yunlan” (nicknames/pet names/names only your family or lover can call you... this trope is good)

11.1. i also think a lot about how in the novel Kun Lun muses before he dies that it’s a shame he won’t see this Little Beauty [Xiao Wei] grow up to be a Great Beauty 

12. Shen Wei’s funny little eyebrow raise when Yunlan accidentally reveals he broke into the professor’s apartment once ( “riiiiiiiiight i definitely believe you”)

12.1. though the ep 23 scene is angsty, the fact Yunlan says “It’s the middle of the night, were you hungry?” seems to imply their relationship is a lot closer than just neighbors... they’re probably used to sharing an apartment/room at this point :)

13. when Yunlan is hurt, Zhu Hong looks to him but he only has eyes for Shen Wei

13.1. after Yunlan is blinded, Zhu Hong is the one cradling him but he calls for Shen Wei first and reaches for his hand; Shen Wei of course responds immediately “it’s me”

13.1.1. both times after Yunlan gets his eyesight back, the first thing he sees is the person who loves him the most

14. Shen Wei warms up the congee in the morning with his magic after he watches over Yunlan when his stomach pain acts up (domestic use of magic? yes please)

15. the bomb defusing scene in the hospital (video game -> reality case) really is framed like a wedding proposal... also the way that Shen Wei smirks lol he’s so proud of his husband

16. after his Envoy identity is revealed, Shen Wei all but abuses his Black Cloaked Envoy voice to stop his stupid husband from doing stupid things that will hurt himself and every time Yunlan is properly sh00k by it

16.1. we really go from Chief Zhao remarking in the Mountain-River Awl case that he’s used to ordering people around, not receiving orders to married bickering with Shen Wei to then agreeing to everything Shen Wei tells him to do

17. the fact that “Shen Wei, ah, Shen Wei... You are such a good person, how could I bear to let you go?” is an actual line from the censored DRAMA astounds me, nevermind that Shen Wei just made breakfast for his man and Yunlan is basically pouting up at him from the bed

17.1. the way Yunlan’s dad warns him to stay away from Shen Wei and Yunlan responds with something like “he’s sincerely good to me, I want to be with him”... “be with him”???? [inhales deeply] yea this is definitely a “brotherly relationship”

18. Yunlan’s “WOW” after the Envoy kills the monsters in the cave of the Mountain-River Awl case is hilarious and i dont understand how such a noise is physically possible,,, it sounds like a growl?????

18.1. Zhu Yilong was asked to mimic it during an interview (which he did not do and only half-heartedly gave a “wow”) and then Bai Yu did it again

19. also i inevitably got attached to the side ship of Lao Chu and Xiao Guo... they have so much skinship for a censored “brotherly relationship” lmao

the amount of face-touching and hand-holding that they do is unreal... they’re more canon than WeiLan in the drama adaptation methinks 

20. 《时间飞行》or “Flying Across Time” sounds like Yunlan’s reply to Shen Wei’s《只是太在意》or “Just Cared Too Much”

20.1. the lyrics of both these songs really cements this idea that both of WeiLan believe the other to be too good... Kun Lun was a god in the novel, and Xiao Wei was just a soulless little Ghost King... and then we have the incorrigible Chief Zhao pining after the beautiful and kind Professor Shen... i just have a lot of feelings about them becoming better people for each other, that their love really does make each other stronger

21. my favorite two pieces from the OST are Shen Wei’s theme (arranged by Kun Luo) and Kun Lun’s theme (arranged by Chen Xueran)

head’s up: it’s been like four years since i last even glanced at music theory so a lot of this might just make no sense to an actual professional

-Shen Wei: written in 4/4 time, Ab Major, melody is primarily carried by piano + strings; the piano almost sticks exclusively to triplets whereas the strings are in steady whole, quarter, and eighth notes—which creates in interesting impressionistic effect, kind of like hazy smoke or the ripples across the surface of a lake; every single measure uses decrescendo, so the first triplet is always the loudest and the three that follow get progressively softer (mimicking an echo)... the piece ends on the seventh note of the scale, which is usually a pretty awkward place to end and yet it doesn’t feel wrong it all; the piece uses a ritardando in the last three measures, and we simply drift off with that last G... i think it’s a beautifully written piece that perfectly portrays such a complex character as Shen Wei, someone who loved with everything he had, and was just so overwhelmingly good... and then he simply disappears as if the dream has ended. it makes me think of how he guarded over Kun Lun/Zhao Yunlan for thousands of years in the novel, never ever ever daring to meet him... and yet the other man always felt like he was waiting for someone

-Kun Lun: written in 3/4 time, a minor, there’s no real complex shift in the melody although there’s brief modulation into E major (dominant/fifth note); it’s a fairly somber piece, especially when the strings join in... it’s a steady waltz, and it finishes with the scale (second to last major is g, last major is a), like a circle coming back around [like their love story perhaps?]... there’s a finality to it, a completeness, a wholeness, which makes sense in the drama-verse because the moment Yunlan takes up the name of Kun Lun is when his love story with Shen Wei all fits together. the piece feels a little lonely in its minor key and all, a little sad, indeed as if you were standing at the top of a mountain surrounded by clouds and mist... the constant meter also reminds me of like the steady drip of water, the perpetual and inevitable passage of the days and time

-i don’t really understand how because the keys of the two pieces don’t fit together easily, but somehow it doesn’t feel wrong to play the pieces back to back; the melodies of both seem to call upon each other despite the differences in key and time signature, so it actually feels right. a circle without a beginning or an ending, wouldn’t you want your love to be so infinite?

-when yunlan finds shen wei in their bubble outside of time, when shen wei is about to leave him, shen wei is wearing the outfit of their first meeting. and the lyrics go “Across time, I am in the same place”... surely, they will find each other again.

[citrussine]

Now that you exam hiatus is endingggg, pls tell us which are ur top 5 WeiLan fan fic recs! also any new in process fanfics u're reading atm?

sorry for taking this long askjd

HAHA how did you know I was binging on WeiLan fics? Did you stalk me on AO3, dear anon? haha

It’s hard choosing a top 5 😂 here it is anyway:

1. my heart broke loose on the wind by sarahyyy

Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei as YouTubers (?) AU where Shen Wei is a Chef and Zhao Yunlan is a random entertainer. He tries a cooking tutorial, and is absolutely obsessed with Shen Wei. This is INCREDIBLY CUTE. Like, you physically cannot stop smiling. You grin the whole fic. Cheeks hurty fic. 6k words. 14/10. 

2. With a Twist of the Kaleidoscope by naye

All of naye’s works are incredible, but this is arguably their best work, and that’s saying something. Angst fest. Shen Wei wakes up manipulated by Ye Zun into thinking Zhao Yunlan is the Bad Guy (tm). Well written, captivating, and A+++ trope. Funnily Shen Wei angsts more inside in this fic hhaha! This is a Classic WeiLan fic. 127k words (wow). 14/10

3. Going Viral by thosch3i

This is the OG Shen Wei wrestling with Technology for online classes fic, featuring a half naked Zhao Yunlan and fat Da Qing HAHA really fluffy! 5.5k words. 14/10.

4. when the light goes out by janonny

Zhao Yunlantern is stuck, burning for 1000 years, and encounters Shen Wei’s reincarnation. Shen Wei, and the rest of the SID, all regain their memories, and they try their hardest to get Zhao Yunlan out of the lantern. Another classic Guardian fic. It isn’t terribly angsty in a good way. 53.53k words haha. 14/10. 

5. The Crimson Lotus by bonibaru

Royalty AU where Shen Wei is the black cloaked envoy, leading an alliance against King Zhao Xinci’s unjust rule, and hides his identity pretending to be Shen Wei a normal and delicate man when he’s arranged to marry to Zhao Xinci’s son, Crown Prince and Chief Commander Zhao Yunlan, who hates the king just as much. The setup is CHEF’S KISS. Beautiful execution. Beautiful plots. Emotional rollercoaster. Well written. The extras are very enjoyable! The character dynamics, the politics, the au,,, I have no words to express how amazing this is. Reading this feels like you’re literally watching a drama, there’s visuals and beautifully descriptive. Very hyped but imo still underrated. it deserves MORE. Exactly 120k words. 14/10!!

Other fics to check out: 

- Carte Blanche by naye

I love Zhao Yunlan whump (and Shen Wei emotional angsting), so this fic is a goldmine. ANGST FEST. Really ANGSTY. Ye Zun has Zhao Yunlan chained up in a room (there’s some off screen torture preceeding this) and Shen Wei has to do the unthinkable to free him, exactly what Ye Zun wanted him to do. Zhao Yunlan’s back, all patched up, but it looks like Shen Wei can’t move on. This is a happy ending hahahah dw! 66.6k words haha. 14/10!

- i die each time you look away by sylvandreams

Ongoing fic; I die each time this updates (in a good way). Inspired by the zhao yunlantern fic. This documents Zhao Yunlantern’s pains and waits and inner monologues, him witnessing the births and deaths of the reincanations of the SID crewmates while in eternal burning hell. There’s A LOT of Da Qing and Zhang Shi (immortals) angst. Well written and mindblowingly excellent like this author’s all other works. VERY ANGSTY AND I MEAN IT. I cried during this fic. This is ongoing! 36.4k words at the time of me writing this post. 14/10.

That said, this list misses so many fics i go back to read again and again hahaha;; You can view more of my recs on my Guardian bookmark list here. Most of them have a summary and my thoughts on it ^^ 

I think I got carried away sdkjfhkdj sorry anon!!! I hope I answered your ask well! This fandom is incredible and it inspires me to write my own fanfics as well! 

[merinnan]

first lines of your last 20 fics!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors!

@jenwryn said everyone was tagged, and this seemed like an excellent way to procrastinate.

I’m gonna include WIPs here if there is almost a chapter or more written. Multi-chapter fics are only having the first chapter counted.

Following jenwryn’s lead and tagging whoever else wants to do it!

--

1. Untitled fic being co-written with @xantissa (WIP) (DMBJ, probably PingXieSang, AU, demon!Xiaoge). Liu Sang shifted on the cold ground, trying not to make it obvious how much he ached.

2. Untitled fic being co-written with @xantissa (WIP) (DMBJ, PingXie, mistaken identity. Explicit): It was a Wednesday.

3. Cats and Dogs (co-written with xantissa) (DMBJ, Liu Sang & Jiang Zisuan, sequel to Cat’s Paw. Liu Sang and Jiang Zisuan’s weird-ass friendship):  Liu Sang huddled further underneath the chassis of the car he was pressed up against, shaking his head in an attempt to clear the ringing from his ears.

4. Ears and Other Related Calamities (co-written with xantissa) (DMBJ, PingXieSang, shifter AU. The boys get lost in a tomb. Mildly explicit): Wu Xie wasn't exactly sure what to feel as he watched the far too large camp take shape.

5. Shine a little light (co-written with xantissa) (DMBJ, PingXieSang, sequel to Those who fear darkness. Huli jing!Liu Sang gets added to the mix. Explicit):  As far as Liu Sang was concerned, the only good thing about this whole sordid business was that he could order himself increasingly complicated, sweet beverages while he watched his prey.

6. Silent Graves (DMBJ, Zhang Qiling, outsider POV. Ficlet set after Wu Xie’s eventual death):  When the grave was first built and occupied, it was very busy.

7. Those who fear darkness have never seen what light can do (co-written with xantissa) (DMBJ, PingXie, AU. BB!Wu Xie gets lost in a tomb, and then weird things keep happening around him):  Wu Sanxing crouched down beside the new hole that his people were digging out despite the pouring rain and darkness.

8. Big Bang fic to be revealed in April! (co-written with xantissa) (DMBJ, PingXie, assassin AU. Explicit): For all that the bright streetlights weren’t that far away, it was dark where he staggered, burning with pain and the desperate need to get away from his followers.

9. Cat’s Paw (co-written with xantissa) (DMBJ, PingXieSang, Reboot/Chongqi canon divergence where Liu Sang was originally working for Jiao-laoban. Explicit): Liu Sang hated the jungle.

10. It's a lovely day in the tomb, and Yóu is a horrible shibie (DMBJ. Time Raiders from the perspective of a troublesome shibie): It's a lovely day in the tomb, and Yóu is a horrible shibie.

11. The Ballad of Bugnado (DMBJ. Filk): Bug!

12. Stars fall like diamonds (DMBJ, PingXie, a Reboot/Chongqi scene from Xiaoge’s POV): The first time it happened, Zhang Qiling wasn’t entirely surprised.

13. The Cats Travesty (general Guardian, which ofc means some WeiLan. Zhao Yunlan subjects people to the Cats 2019 movie):  It all started because of the reviews.

14. Untitled Guardian fic (WIP) (WeiLan, Zhao Yunlan & Ye Zun, Shen Wei & Ye Zun. Post-canon fix-it fic feat. reincarnation): It was hurting again. 

15. Operation: Make Lan Zhan Remember (WIP) (MDZS/CQL, WangXian, modern AU/reincarnation fic): Supervising a day trip for a busload of five-year-olds had not been Lan Wangji’s plan for the day when he woke up this morning, and yet, here he was.

16. Blanket Forts are the Best Wingmen (MDZS/CQL, NieLan. Modern AU. After having an argument with his best friend, Lan Xichen tries to apologise with a blanket fort): Not for the first time that day, Lan Xichen looked around the utter disaster area that was his living room and wondered just what the hell he was doing.

17. The Rescue Job (Guardian, WeiLan, Leverage AU. WIP. A job gone wrong means Shen Wei needs rescuing): If anyone had asked Zhao Yunlan this morning how he thought this day would go, kissing Shen Wei would not have even been suggested.

18. Nevermore (MDZS/CQL, XiCheng, Pacific Rim AU. WIP.): Humanity always thought alien life would come from the stars…but it came from beneath the sea.

19. Qinghe Jue (CQL, Nie Mingjue. NMJ’s spirit visits his brother just after his death): Pain. His entire world was pain.

20. Do You Want to Have a Blanket Fort? (MDZS/CQL, Nie Mingjue & Nie Huaisang, modern AU. After his brother had a fight with his best friend, Huaisang builds him a blanket form to help cheer him up):  It looked like it had been a bright, beautiful day – at least, that’s what was promised by the golden sunlight that crept around the edges of the curtains on his bedroom window.

--

Wow, I hadn’t actually realised how much I wrote in this past year. These are all from the last 12 months.

Patterns. Hmmm. I tend to start in media res a lot, I suppose. And often name the POV character in the first line.

Favourite line out of all of these, that’s a hard one. I do like It's a lovely day in the tomb, and Yóu is a horrible shibie, because it’s just such a perfect summary of the entire fic, as well as riffing off a game I really enjoyed playing (and which formed some of the inspiration for the fic, too). And Not for the first time that day, Lan Xichen looked around the utter disaster area that was his living room and wondered just what the hell he was doing is a line that resonates with me on a regular basis, because, like, mood, Xichen. Mood.

[disasterbialert]

Hello! I’m still mostly in the void but I’m briefly popping to talk (gush, I’m totally gonna gush) about my fave shows I discovered/brought me joy in 2020! Lots of folks are doing this and I thought it was a really sweet trend so I thought I’d jump on too!

2020 was a lot (obviously) but it was particularly huge for me for a few reasons. I’m not gonna talk too much bc y’all are here for soft queers not Trauma™️, but basically several things happened at once that led to me being pretty devastated and very lost. Hurt, raw, and frightened, I didn’t think I had anywhere to go or anyone to talk to. And then, boom! Fandom and tumblr and twitter and ao3. And suddenly I found tenderness, learned I was allowed that tenderness and affection, that it was ok to seek it, to want it. It was ok to be gentle, to be soft, to be vulnerable. That others felt this way too. That I was safe. So, thank you, beautiful friends and strangers in this nebulous space. My gratitude is boundless and heartfelt.

Ok hah emotions what? ANYWAY. Without further ado and in no particular order, fave shows Let’s go!

1. The Untamed/陈情令/Chén Qíng Lìng/Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation/魔道祖师/Mó Dào Zǔ Shī

THIS SHOW. WOW. This show, the novel and every adaptation, and this fandom have been life-changing. In every way. I started watching cql end of may/beginning of june I think? I binged it in about two weeks. Then I re-watched it with my mum as she experienced it for the first time. THEN we both re-watched it. Soulmates. They’re married and they have a son. Disaster bisexual representation. Found families again and again and again. The cast, the music, the costumes, the sets—everything about this show is breathtaking. I am in awe of everything the creators managed to do. What an incredible experience this show was. And I am so grateful to the fandom, from deep-dive metas to fascinating cultural explorations to equal-parts soft, fluffy, spicy, horny, tender, hilarious fics and fan art. That this fandom has also become a space for me to explore my own queerness, my own identity and my sense of personhood, is truly an unexpected and wonderful gift. Seriously. This show and this fandom—what an absolute gift.

2. 2Gether/เพราะเราคู่กัน /Still 2Gether/เพราะเรา(ยัง)คู่กัน

My first foray into Asian dramas/queer dramas and WOW was it a really bloody good one. My eternal gratitude to Chai (@/proyearner) on twitter for one off-hand comment about a Thai drama on YouTube. Cue snowball. The softness? The hilarity? The hurt/comfort? The fake-dating? The subtle sweetness of BrightWin’s acting? The utter chaos of Man and Boss? EarnPear definitely being canon (no i don’t care that it’s not actually IT IS OK). This show and its sequel were a gosh-darn bloody Win for they gays. And also my entry into queer fandom—something I’ve never truly felt or even really been a part of, despite being out and involved in literally studying queer literature and media for many years. So, thank you Thai BL fandom, thank you Sarawatine, thank you Chai.

3. Where Your Eyes Linger/너의 시선이 머무는 곳에 (series AND film)

The Tenderness. Good grief. I waited until every episode was out and then watched them all. Then when the film was out, I re-watched both. I could wax poetic about this show, about the actors, about the characters, about the writing, about the music, about the editing, about the fight choreography holy shit, but honestly? The above gif encapsulates it pretty entirely: the power of gaze and where it lingers.

4. Guardian/镇魂/Zhèn Hún

Oh my whole heart went to this show and this gorgeous ensemble and the music fuck. Zhu Yilong is phenomenal holy shit. And his and Bai Yu’s chemistry is insane. I’m of the firm belief they paved the way for cql in terms of handling censorship bc WOW. This show was censored and yet everything—ten thousand years of Yearning and Devotion, Love and Tenderness—was so fucking palpable. I cared about everyone: every side character in every case, every villain. And the fact that every character in SID was given their own arc and the actors portrayed them so fucking incredibly. I barely breathed through the majority of Chu Shuzhi’s arc because holy shit Jiang Mingyang blew me away. And Gao Yuer as Zhu Hong? Fucking WOW. I went into this series thinking it was just gonna be a nice fantasy/sci-fi bromance with a sad ending I was going to have to put up with and came out the other side yelling about WeiLan being married with a cat son and I regret nothing.

5. Until We Meet Again/ด้ายแดงซีรีส์

This series cracked me wide open. I cried just about in every episode (obviously) but I specifically remember watching the episode where Pharm meets In’s sister/Dean’s grandma and the music soaring (THIS SONG FUCK https://open.spotify.com/track/7c7FfcuwwGmriy72YAQrud?si=q6Sk871BQPKJIYc4xCYHlg) and my whole heart just breaking and my then partner asked me what was wrong and I couldn’t even speak. I was so overwhelmed with feeling. This show broke my heart but then carefully, gently held me, and allowed time to sit with my cathartic grief. Beautiful, powerful, humbling. An extremely banal but nonetheless important for me plus was the fact that I adored each of the ships equally. So often I find I myself loving side ships more than main ships but this show was so outstanding and the actors did such an incredible job that I just loved them all. An absolute gift.

Honourable mentions: My Engineer; Gaya Sa Pelikula; Together With Me; Love By Chance; HIStory3: Trapped; HIStory2: Crossing the Line; TharnType; She-Ra and the Princesses of Power; Legend of Korra; The Dragon Prince; The Good Place; One Day At A Time; Russian Doll; and Glow.

Bless queer fandom! And my eternal gratitude to translators everywhere—y’all are phenomenal and such a gift!! This year I’d love for more GL dramas and more queer ladies/enbies as well! Not that I don’t love my soft boys!! But I’d k-word/d-word for a lesbian warrior drama or a queer ladies time travel/loop drama or queer enbies vibing on adventures! So here’s to you, 2021: may you not be nearly as shitty, and may you instead be filled with more queerness, more love, more happy endings, more tenderness ♥️

[three--rings]

Guardian eps 8-13

After ep 13, all I can say is EEEEEEEEEE!

Wow, this got REAL shippy REAL quick, huh?  I was SO relieved when ZYL figured out who Shen Wei is with that whole jacket thing.  Thank GOD this wasn’t dragged out further.  But then it seemed like they were gonna milk the “I totally know but I’m not going to say it and you’re going to keep denying it” tension for a LONG time, but THANK GOD that’s over.  (Also ugh why do secret identities just kill me?  Oh, right, I imprinted on that Zorro TV show young.)

ALSO DEAR GOD can we get rid of purple-emo-hair boy?  He’s SO BAD and not just his wig.  I noticed some poor enterprising hair person took a curling iron to the ends in between episodes which helped a LOT, but still, dude, just DIE.

I am prepared for your superior Evil Hot Goth Crow Lady to take over.  Hot Snake Woman, Hot Crow Lady, yes, these are good things, also why did the fandom not advertise these assets?

But back to Weilan (I just had to go looking to check the ship name).  I feel a bit predictable, given how close this ship is to Wangxian, really, with cheeky and intelligent flirty boy and reserved and refined elegant guy. 

Actually, it’s funny, but this has me thinking about how much Shen Wei is my TYPE in fiction.  Like totally.  But in RL, I AM that type myself?  And I do best paired with someone in the Zhao Yunlan/WWX vein.  Which is just kinda INTERESTING to contemplate.  Like I both fall for AND identify with the same characters.  That probably says something unflattering about me, but anyway.

So, basically, the cat’s out of the bag (not THAT cat...you know what I mean.)  And there was freaking WINKING and whispered conspiring and !!!!!  I love how...SLUTTY ZYL is.  Like, he’s just...hey, I’m gonna lay on this bed sprawled all over the place and making flirty comments at you, k?  Like I really want to consume a Fully Gay version of this story, yanno?  Because I want him to reach his full slut potential.  I mean, I’m not sure he could be putting MORE DTF vibes out there without, well, getting majorly censored.  And Shen Wei is just Dying Internally the entire time.

Yeah, this is the Good Shit.

I live in anxious anticipation of more information about...yanno their past connection or whatever.  (Previous lives...whatever the fuck it ends up being in the show...time travel?  IDK.  I also know the ending is bad, fyi, so I’m going in...with expectations.)

I am not, at this point, going to make any statements about how shippy I might get with these two.  I.e. whether I might eventually commit fic for them.  Because, like, I have a bad track record of saying “I don’t have any interest in writing this” and then...spending the next two years writing for that pairing.  But...god with the show and the novel and existing fic...I have a LOT to consume first.  So...guess I’m safe for a while. 

[lansizhuis]

WEILAN FIC REC

It's as the title says - the five times Shen Wei did a horny grip™ because let it be known that while Zhao Yunlan is explicitly shamelessly thirsty, Shen Wei is equally as thirsty but in a more lowkey manner. Oh, and of course, WeiLan as lesbians can't be passed up for this.(gift fic for taki who introduced the weilan lesbian agenda to me!)Hello! I finally had some time (spoiler: I actually didn’t but I can always have time for my dads) to properly make a compilation of WeiLan fanfic recommendations. I included some CN ones bc I absolutely love them to bits and pieces and some WeiLan derivatives bc why not. 

Please click the kudos and leave a comment on the authors’ works to thank them and show your appreciation! <3 This will be updated periodically.

bc I’m shameless - imma shove my own weilan fics here

Title: Uhaw Summary: Shen Wei felt a smile on his face despite the seriousness of the situation. “Your loyalty will forever remain divided.” // “My loyalty is with you.” Zhao Yunlan declared. “Always has been, always will be.” [WEILAN MAFIA/GANGSTER AU 1/1] Notes: i was horny for weilan being horny for each other and being a power couple with some plot thrown in the mix im not sorry

Title: Devour Your God Summary: "The beast inside him howls and the inhumane thunderous chanting resounds in the beautiful ghost king. You remember don’t you? The more beautiful the ghost...the more terrifying."

[a look through shen wei's eyes as he goes through kunlun's multiple reincarnations until zhao yunlan; novel-compliant and shen san extra hints but should be spoiler free 1/1] Notes: sometimes we’re also sad in our weilan lives but do know they get their happy ending anyway

Title: Earlier On Summary: Zhao Yunlan starts remembering his life as Kunlun months after he first entered the world and his only clue resides on that creature (because his adult brain is now telling his baby brain that that wasn't a human) robed in white with a golden mask peering down on his crib. Notes: [novel-verse gift fic for orro AKA babey zhao yunlan having adult brain/memories who’s everyone’s source of headache]

Title: Five Times Shen Wei Did A Horny Grip Summary: It's as the title says - the five times Shen Wei did a horny grip™ because let it be known that while Zhao Yunlan is explicitly shamelessly thirsty, Shen Wei is equally as thirsty but in a more lowkey manner. Oh, and of course, WeiLan as lesbians can't be passed up for this. Notes: (gift fic for taki who introduced the weilan lesbian agenda to me!)

Title: Some Things Stay The Same and Some Don't  Summary: “Xiao Wei,” Zhao Yunlan called in a serious voice making Shen Wei stiffen in attention, “Your boobs are actually big, aren’t they?” Shen Wei almost slipped from her position at the unexpected - or well, this is Zhao Yunlan so perhaps ‘expected’ should be the term - comment. “Yunlan, honestly!” “No really, it’s bigger than mine.” “Everyone’s bigger than your tiny mangoes, stupid owner.” Da Qing laughed from the kitchen. “I think even Lin Jing and Lao Chu have bigger ones compared to you.” Notes: lesbian!weilans part 2 for emmy featuring the primordial gods, shen wei + mama zhao interaction, and kunlun taking in 2 ghost queens instead of just one

Title: Repercussions of Meddling Summary: “You know what the diviner’s instructions were, right? Gather the hallows and let fate run its course or else there can be dire consequences.” Zhao Yunlan clenched his fist as he recalls Shen Wei’s hardships paralleled with Ye Zun’s loss of sanity, the ghost lovers’ fate in an effort to protect him, the brewing war as the vision the hallows have given him on their deaths, and an ever burning flame on his soul as he watched Shen Wei disappear stay clear.“There can’t be anything more dire than that future.” The two leaders looked at each other meaningfully. “And if the bulk of the repercussions on you twisting the timeline falls on you?” Zhao Yunlan huffed in amusement and flipped his long hair to his back. “If I'm the one who has to pay then so be it.” Notes: aka ye zun is a bad influence to shen wei and add that in for 10,000 years where they're both awake, alive, and together waiting for a certain someone's reappearance in their lives --- THIS CAN GET DARK; drama canon divergence au where zhao yunlan as kunlun ends up saving ye zun in the past and meddling with time 

Title: A Path Back Home Summary: The Dixing kingdom's delegation set off for a peace treaty with the kingdom of Haixing as new tides of the world was coming. For some, this was a turning point for the three kingdoms. For Ye Zun and his father, this was a chance to bring back their two other family members home with them. The past retains its stories and secrets, the present shakes the foundations of everyone's belief, and the future is a path back home. (read a/n before reading!) Notes: weilan royalty a/b/o au aka the most self-indulgent fic (it wasn’t supposed to be multi-chap but brain said ‘world building’ and now i suffer)

Title: where everything converges Summary: collection for weilan week prompts - day 1: beginnings (SID+SW meets the youngest primordial god) day 3: au (tgcf au of god!ZYL and ghost king!SW) day 7: anniversary (there will come a day where SW wakes up to the 5,000 years and 1 day of being with ZYL)

Title: in all worlds and in all timelines Summary: collection of weilan prompts (do send some and i’ll see if i can write it!)

Title: The Power of Words Summary: “You have lived for as long as I have and so you must know that words have power. The likes of old sayings and proverbs hold a decree to them the longer it’s passed around from one breathing soul to another. They become entities and binding spells on their own through time.”

“What has that got to do with anything right now? Ghost Slayer, you are already treading a dangerous path with the choices you have made the past months. Do I still need to remind you of this?” the spirit asked.

The black robed creature acted as if he didn’t hear his companion and spoke once more. “I suppose it doesn’t matter right as of this moment,” he crossed his legs and continued, “Let me tell you a story; a secret.” Notes: it was supposed to be a oneshot but my need for novel shen wei characterization bled through so now it’s a 3shot *sigh* 

***

Title:  狗在江湖 Notes: this is a mix of novel and drama elements AND it’s a/b/o AND it has 30 chapters so obv i cried

Title: Sweet Dreams Summary:  朱白ABO，架空末世微悬疑。 Notes: okay so it was weird for me at first bc they were using zhubai’s names until i realized they were pertaining to weilan derivative in general AND OKAY LISTEN - the plot??? THE PLOT??? GLORIOUS

Title: 我说所有的酒都不如你 Summary: 这大概是一个东江二哈狼和东江气死猫你追我跑你继续追我假装跑你拼命追我跑不动了的爱情故事（。 Notes: 2Luo aka Luo Fusheng x Luo Fei weilan derivative and this is legit my favorite derivative fic!!! they mixed both dramas and fed me sentinel + guide trope AND THEN WOW PLOT

***

Title:  Black Cloak Reversed Summary:  Chief Zhao is a little too friendly with the Black-Cloaked Envoy. The members of the SID worry that he's being emotionally disloyal to Professor Shen. Notes: drama; zhao yunlan is a filthy, thirsty man and SID mourns over this fact

Title:  my heart broke loose on the wind Summary:  If Yunlan is going to learn how to make actual food that requires more effort than just boiling water and putting hot water into stuff, he’s going to have to take all the notes. “Right,” he says to himself. “How hard can it be?” He watches all twenty-two minutes and fourteen seconds of Chef Shen's video without fast-forwarding. When it comes to an end, he clicks on the replay button. He ends up taking zero notes, and the only thing he manages to learn from the whole exercise is that Chef Shen -Shen Wei- is really fucking beautiful when he smiles. Notes: au; alternative summary - ye zun: how thirsty are you for my bro zhao yunlan: thirsty? pls im a paragon of all things holy, i am a kind and generous citizen of the world, i am - ye zun: i can help you get in his pants  zhao yunlan: - thirsty af; i am very thirsty 

Title:  when we reunite, the world will tilt on its axis Summary:  Zhao Yunlan tries to figure out how he should approach the matter of young Shen Wei. Notes: drama; babey!shen wei who's so earnest and genuinely in-love ahhh im soft

Title:  Wild Thing, Stop Your Teasing Summary: Shen Wei’s eyelid twitch as Yunlan unwraps another lollipop, closes his spit-shiny lips around the spherical head while looking at Shen Wei under dark eyes and thick lashes. Fists clenched on his pant leg, Shen Wei swallows and tamps down the urge to grab Yunlan across the table. Notes: drama; when you think zhao yunlan's thirst has a limit - he goes an open his mouth but hey shen wei's head over heels thousands of years ago already anyway

Title:  Tease the Wild Thing Summary: Yunlan's POV from shaenanigans' awesome fic ''Wild Thing, Stop your Teasing''. Yeah, it's the one with the lollipops, and the porn with feels. You know. The Good Stuff. Notes: more weilan smut after the one above?? SIGN ME TF UP

Title:  without complexities or pride Summary:  “Kunlun Hall’s rules do not apply to you,” Yunlan says simply, moving to steep some tea for Shen Wei. “You are the Black Cloak Envoy. Lord Kunlun holds you in high regard.” “And you hold him in high regard,” Shen Wei adds before he’s able to stop himself. Shen Wei can hear the wretched jealousy in his own voice, and no doubt Yunlan can as well, because Yunlan’s smile turns sly, and his eyes are very knowing when he says, “In a way, I suppose I do.” Notes: (Or, the Not-Exactly-A-Courtesan!Yunlan fic.) >> im crying bc YES

Title:  Every ridge hand-picked by the late sun’s slant light Summary:  Zhao Yunlan gets up to greet this man, his destiny – who is currently scowling behind his fancy embroidered mask – and smiles as filthily as he can make it. Whatever else they might be to each other, Shen Wei has been taunting him for weeks. Zhao Yunlan is going to take him home and fuck him until he cries and he wants Shen Wei to know that. “Long time, no see,” he says. The Black Cloaked Envoy blanches. Notes: when i say i thirst for weilan papapa where shen wei loses his self control - I MEAN IT

Title:  that's where you belong Summary:  First of all, how dare Shen Wei. Second of all, Zhao Yunlan has been looking forward to this for like, as long as he's been aware that Shen Wei is an alpha. Third of all -- Notes: im crying bc all i ever wanted was for novel weilan's characterization bc i know their papapa would be the hottest with that and i have been fed with this need and even partnered w/ a/b/o trope /SOBS

Title:  Just Cared Too Much Summary:  Zhao Yun Lan found out his father was dead while he was pouring concrete down the throat of a backstabbing dickbag. “Chief, I'm sorry, the Boss is gone. Shot to the head, on his way to meet the Russians.” Notes: i was dying to have a mafia au and this appeared THANK YOU; and def one of the other things that pushed me to finish my own mafia au for weilan lol

Title:  家教 - or - Domestic Education Summary:  Shen Wei is the Ghost King, born out of the unyielding chaos of entropy that had consumed the underworld before the creation of the wheel of reincarnation. He's the cosmic guardian of death and all her darlings, and the universe through the lens of his eye is rife with demons, hungry ghosts, and shadows creeping out of their places. So there is absolutely no way he is getting sick. Notes: im novel verse trash and we get that PLUS mama!zhao uhh hell yes???

Title:  Sarva Summary:  Or, 一切. At work, in public, Shen Wei is meticulously, seamlessly polite. In bed, he's something else. Notes:  this was the first weilan smut i read AND ALL THE YES BC SHEN WEI LOSING IT FOR ZHAO YUNLAN IS MY KINK

Title:  Future Forged Summary: Masquerading as Kunlun, Zhao Yunlan sets out on a mission to recover the stolen Hallows alongside the young Shen Wei. Along the way, he discovers new abilities, forges new bonds, unearths old histories, and learns that the universe goes beyond his wildest imagination. Notes: lol way better take on what happened during that time travel thing than what the drama had

Title:  who you allow Summary: But then Zhao Yunlan goes and gets a haircut, and Shen Wei. Pouts. For like three days. Notes: for the record - i, too, believe shen wei will pout bc of this

Title:  Significant Other Colour Summary: Collars are so old-fashioned and Zhao Yunlan can’t help but feel that there’s an ulterior motive hiding behind Shen Wei’s innocently widened eyes. Notes: tfw i've tried to bury my needs on acknowledging how shen wei canonically wants to lock up zhao yunlan and then this fic hits me - author pls let me love you (for y'all heed the warnings)

Title:  Afterimage Summary:  Zhu Yi Long is an awkward turtle. Now he has to deal with letting Shen Wei and Ye Zun go. Notes:  okay so im not really into fics on real people but this was done so well? it explores the effects of zhu yilong's method acting and sets straight that zhubai and weilan are not one and the same at the end of the day

Title:  Twill Seeker Summary: The young master has a thing for the butler. The butler is at the end of his rope. Notes: if anyone comes after me and my apparent need for butler shen wei and young master zhao yunlan, hide me

Title:  When You're Old, You Want To Celebrate Birthdays At Home Summary: Shen Wei comes home to a surprise. Notes: me, wiping a tear: oh look, a ye zun characterization i actually like even if he's mentioned only

Title:  do nothing day Summary:  “The stress of work is exhausting me and my wife is scolding me now,” Zhao Yunlan pretends to whine, hiding his face in the blankets. “You’ve seen who I work with, those stubborn kids who cause me nothing but trouble. You’re supposed to be on my side, meant to pity me when the world turns against me. I deserve this day off and I reserve the right to do as I please. And if I want to be a slug in the bed then that’s what I’m going to do.” Notes: "It’s so gentle that Shen Wei almost can’t stand it, the way Zhao Yunlan lets him do as he likes, just receiving whatever Shen Wei wants to give him. And there’s so much that Shen Wei wants to lavish onto his Zhao Yunlan." -- dont bother for the ambulance i know im DOA

Title:  Heat and Desire Summary: Five times Zhao Yunlan had an oral fixation and one time Shen Wei did something about it. Notes: "You tease me, Zhao Yunlan," Shen Wei whispers, his breath tickling against Zhao Yunlan’s ear. "You tease me and you tease me and you seem to think that I won't do anything about it." -- me, choking: IM FINE

Title:  Just A Phone Call Away Summary:  Chief Zhao gets hurt on a case and nobody wants to be the one to call Professor Shen and tell him.... Notes: SID family + shen wei's first reaction to the call??? sign me up

Title:  Never Losing You Summary:  Yunlan can't open his eyes, can't shut his mouth. Needy, keening noises pour out of his throat completely out of his control. Shen Wei's closed fist is around him, pumping fast and tight in rhythm to his fucking, making him see stars exploding behind closed eyelids, thoroughly engulfed by the incredible sensations racketing up and down his spine originating from where they're so deliciously joined. Shen Wei's other hand cradles his jaw, careful, reverent, but also serves to ground Yunlan to the bed so Shen Wei can fuck him harder, deeper. Notes: i can never have enough weilan papapa bc if canon doesn't give me the explicit juicy details then im turning to fic writers with metaphorical gold payment

Title:  third time's the charm Summary: “I’m what Da Qing likes to describe as ‘especially tenacious’ when I’m in heat, even more so when I have a specific Alpha in mind,” Yunlan tells him, casual. (Or, three times Shen Wei helps Zhao Yunlan through his heat.) Notes: me, looking through the window with a faraway look: a/b/o universe makes me weak even if it's not even explicit

Title: this secret language that we speak Summary: "If you don't want to do this any more," says Shen Wei, "you get off the couch, and we'll do whatever you want. Do you understand?" Zhao Yunlan is so hot he thinks he's going to light the couch on fire. He swallows and nods."I didn't hear you," says Shen Wei, implacable as death. "Do you understand?" Zhao Yunlan has to clear his throat, and when he manages to speak, his voice is gravelled with arousal. "Yeah. I do." "Good," says Shen Wei. Notes: i cried 69 times bc my horny ass is fed and jfc domineering shen wei??? *cries for the 70th time*

Title: Shen Wei Summary: Shen Wei loves Zhao Yunlan, and there is only so long he can feign otherwise. Notes: [Zhao Yunlan gives a small shrug, uninvested in the argument. “All right. And where do you belong?” Shen Wei freezes, flashes of memory assaulting him, of Kunlun’s skin hot against his, of promises moaned against each other’s necks. Inside you is all he can think.] BINCH I DIED AT THIS PART

Title: Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This Summary: Zhao Yunlan jerks back to the waking world gasping and screaming and drowning in the anguish that comes with being lit on eternal consuming fire. The unmistakable rich copper taste of blood fills his mouth and he opens tear-filled bloodshot eyes that he was sure melted a long time ago with the rest of his physical body. He sees faces crowding around him in varying degrees of worry, but the pain blinds him from putting names to the faces. His throat feels raw, as if he'd been screaming for centuries and realizes on the next breath that he's been screaming a name. Shen Wei's name. Notes: drama-verse but a hopeful one TYL im here for the whole the last episode didn’t happen bc we can use the plot that the drama threw away lol

Title: Aftermath Summary: The fallout after the dust has settled. Notes: a look on what happened after the 4th extra in the novel; s o f t

Title: The world that we'll invent Summary: Shen Wei's self-control continues to be tested. Notes: [Nothing in Shen Wei's long existence has prepared him for the problem that is Zhao Yunlan.] >> honestly this is the summary of weilan in general 

Title: Quiet Heart, Hollow Body Summary: It has been ten thousand years since Shen Wei met Kunlun, but he could never forget the one who first saw beyond the mask of the Black Cloaked Envoy to the person beneath. Notes: im novel bias for so many reasons but this was absolutely amazing as a drama setting bc it /is/ closer to the novel setting bc shen wei was actually awake those 10,000 years so that desperation and intensity of novel!sw is closer here - really great read

last updated: March 2, 2020

[imsorryandthankyou]

These thoughts from @purplehanfu are too good to leave in the tags, lol. So true. I would have loved to hear Shen Wei’s inner dialogue in this moment.

#guardian#wkekddk#weilan#shen wei#this isnt a joke. its just the plot dkdewe#shen wei 10k years later: wow... kunlun really LIED to me about his maturity level huh?... i looked UP to that guy... i hero WORSHIP#PED him ToT#shen wei like: this GOTTA be a doppleganger!!! it cant be my TRUE LOVE PERFECT MAN KUNLUN#then shen weis pissed cause either its not his dead love and hes gotta keep grieving#or this IS kunlun somehow and then kunlun is a liar who pretended to be dead and now pretends not to know him and#is also a Fucking Mess of a person#also. lets not forget kunlun gave him a candy and taught him how to suck it like a dick >o>#shen wei like... he was my sexual Awakening !~! my heart Awakening ;-; .... why the fuck is he trying to kill that intern???

imagine waiting 10,000 years for a dude who gave you candy and when you find him again he’s literally dropping his new hire out of a window

[puppy-phum]

thank you once again @yibobibo​ for tagging me ♥ even if, like I said, this is pure torture. I have so many sons that I’ve given up on counting them sigh but here goes.

favourite male fictional characters.

I took it that this meant ten so am going with that (tho am not gonna try and put them into order). am also sticking to all the characters I loved this year. and gonna ramble and add gifs so cutting it here. 

1. Liu Sang

The Lost Tomb Reboot/Reunion: The Sound of The Providence

I have so much love for this boy it’s not even healthy. it’s a bit funny tho bc once I started tltr, I didn’t really like him and almost forgot about him as the first season ended. he just felt so annoying and bitter in what I saw him, even if I did get that he had a Tragic BackstoryTM (I felt for him but well. tltr really made him hard to like at first). but then they brought him back in the second season with his sad puppy eyes and inability to handle his thoughts on wu xie and being all touch-starved and pitiful and whatnot and baam, I had the adoption papers ready. he’s wonderful and so strong and so smart and amazing. and liu chang as his actor has been wonderful (and he’s so pretty my god, have you seen him??)

2. Shen Wei

Guardian

never did I expect to just. fall into this hole after a year? I remember what a mess I was when I first watched guardian over a year ago, right after finishing the untamed. I was in shambles even as I knew how it would end. and now I’ve done this all again while also reading the novel and. my love for shen wei, especially bc it’s zhu yilong acting as shen wei? astronomical. I want to write poetry about him and his stupid responsibilities that he chooses to carry silently and his devotion to zhao yunlan and his love for his ppl and his didi and. I hope that one day I manage to write weilan bc I have this one idea and you can come pry it from my cold, dead fingers if it doesn’t get out there (am also super happy about the edit I made bc my god does he deserve at least that)

3. Cloud Strife

Final Fantasy VII

ok so stepping into the video games territory now. I was waiting for the remake like crazy and it was everything to me once the quarantine hit during spring. the game is so beautiful and I felt like I looked at this gorgeous boy once and was ready to give him my heart (tbh am quite sure he owned my heart before I even learned to know him). he is tragic in so many ways (I’ve only scratched the surface of all of his pain I know) and I wish I could just. hug him a lot. he is kind and cares very deeply even if he hates to show it and I love it how remake showed him also just being a human disaster (some of his scenes are just. peak comedy). I would kill for his smile (I have already cried for it a dozen)

4. Geralt of Rivia

The Witcher (The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt)

if there’s one grumpy, brickwall of a man I love, it’s geralt. I affectionately call him “papa wolf” while playing witcher 3 and his voice in it does things to me (I am just so fond of him ok, begone you dirty fuckers). I got introduced to him through the books and adored him in them bc he is so prickly and sarcastic and still so full of love even if he will never admit to it. he is the father figure I wish I could have in real life. (and yes, I’ve seen the tv series (or at least a couple of the first episodes) and it looks stunning but. this is my version of geralt and that’s the hill I will die on)

5. Xiaoge

Zhang Qiling, Daomu Biji (The Lost Tomb 2)

(wow finding a gif for him was a pain, apparently I gotta learn how to gif or?) ah, my dear boy who I’ve ended up just calling xiaoge bc he seems to prefer it over his real name/title/whatever zhang qiling really is. I got introduced to him through tltr where we really didn’t get to know that much about him bc he was just... there. huang junjie was absolutely stunning tho and his soft smiles made me super fond, but only in the lost tomb 2 did I really fall in love with xiaoge as a character. I was surprised tbh bc I didn’t expect it to be this drama? I had so many doubts about the cast in tlt2 but they all delivered! and I think cheng yi’s xiaoge is now my favorite bc he somehow captured that softness and the pain of him? (and we do not talk about that buxun storyline tyvm) tho now that ultimate note is on the way, I gotta say that xiao yuliang does a wonderful job as xiaoge too!

6. Wu Xie

Daomu Biji (Ultimate Note)

(sorry we have to go with a pingxie gif now but maybe it’s only fitting) tbh it’s hard to choose my favorite version of wu xie. I think all of the actors for him have done amazing job showing wu xie in different parts of his life (all of them are very distinct but still feel like the same person) but currently zheng shunxi takes the lead. I really wanted to put the reboot version of him here (bc I love that mature, relaxed and somehow very soft version of him and the angst is phenomenal and the thoughts he has about death... yeah) but I already have zhu yilong’s face here once so :’D wu xie is just one of those characters you cannot not like. he is so strong, so kind, so stubborn, so wonderfully stupid sometimes and in need of careful protection. I also adore it how smart he is and I could listen to him spew history facts for 10 hours straight (even if it was in a tomb full of blood zombies) ♥

7. Jiang Cheng

Jiang Wanyin, The Untamed

my darling boy! my beautiful angry grape! I love him beyond words. I love him in all of his raging, misunderstood, stupid, sassy, constipated, abused, tragic, bitter, big hearted glory. I could write novels about him (and I did and am still writing oh boy) and his love for ppl and his inability to show that love and his loneliness and his issues. I could also write another novel for all of his outfits etc. bc damn, what a fashion king. he is just so great. he owns my soul. he deserves happiness and in this essay I will

8. Isana Yashiro

Adolf K. Weismann, K Project

I rewatched k project this spring bc a) it’s one of my favorite animes ever (it just looks stunning with all the colors) and b) I love yashiro to bits. I remember falling in love with him when I first watched k project many years ago bc he was just so kind and bright. this time though, I ended up seeing another side of him and my god did I cry. he is... so sweet. he cares for others so deeply and is ready to sacrifice so much for them and his love for his two clansmen... yeah. I think I finally saw the tragedy of him too, all the pain and loneliness and insecurity he decides to hide behind his smile and obnoxious personality. he reminded me a lot of myself and watching him made my heart bleed in a good way

9. Qi Tiezui

Ba Ye, The Mystic Nine

(wow am going to riot for the lack of all the gifs hhh) yes, we’re continuing with the dmbj universe that sucked me in big time this year. the drama of the mystic nine wasn’t probably that earth shattering for me as it somehow got boring more than once but I did love ba ye to bits. he was just... so nice? I got it that he was somehow this “comedic relief” in the drama with all of his funny scenes and ridiculous mannerisms but I could see the brilliance of him. he is warm and smart and kind of a romantic too and he cares for all of his friends so deeply? it was also sweet how protective of him his two zhangs were (does that run in the family? the tendency to imprint into one smart but disastrous man and keep him safe? maybe) and I really hope I knew more about him bc he seemed to have a lot of knowledge and a lot of impact to ppl’s lives (I yelled when they mentioned him in ultimate note, I miss him ;;)

10. Dorian Pavus

Dragon Age Inquisition

(yes I’ve been replaying DA:I this year, this counts!) another darling boy! my lovely sass master son! I have so much love for him and his story in DA:I. he is my favorite companion (and his romance is my favorite too, probably obvious in the way am currently romancing him for the third time) and he has given me a lot of strength. the way he stands up against his father, how he’s ready to reform his homeland instead of walking away, how he’s so caring for those he sees struggling... it’s very warming and I feel like I’m safe with him. it feels a bit silly to say that but he really is that comfort character I will seek out when I just want to know am doing fine :’) (and I am so excited to see him again in DA4! probably?)

+ 11. Li Cu

Tomb of the Sea

yes I cheated a bit (with my own rules lol) to fit li cu here. I didn’t really expect to like him or tomb of the sea as much as I did once I started it? I’ve seen leo wu elsewhere before this (battle through the heavens, nirvana in fire) and his face always makes me think about a sad puppy so maybe I just grew fond over li cu instantly bc he was... so hurt? the first episode really slaps you in the face with all of it, showing him being abused, wounded, kidnapped, tortured, used and then just very, very scared and broken. he continues being that throughout the whole drama and I feel like tomb of the sea (or sand sea or sha hai idk) is the darkest and angstiest story in the dmbj universe. I know it deserves to be bc this is a dark time for wu xie but... my darling li cu. I wish him only happiness ;; he was so strong and smart and wonderful in this and it was just so amazing to watch him grow and find his own place in the world just bc he did something himself (even when he got dragged into all of this bc of wu xie) also I support the wu xie adopts li cu -agenda

Honorary mentions: 

Zhang Rishan, Xie Yuchen and Hei Xiazi from DMBJ universe. The Twin Jades of Gusu and Ouyang Zizhen from The Untamed. The Iron Bull and Fenris from Dragon Age games. Thane Krios, Kaidan Alenko and Jaal from Mass Effect games. The whole lot of Assassin’s Creed protagonists (especially Ezio Auditore and Shay Cormac). Adam Parrish and Ronan Lynch from The Raven Cycle. Neil Josten from All For The Game. Eduon and March from The Smoke Thieves. Qiling from L.O.R.D. Critical World. Luo Fei from Detective L (played by Bai Yu). 

well, with this I can really see that I have a thing for those who are tragic :’D I have a thing for grumpy, prickly and antisocial guys or those who hide their pain behind a smile. maybe it’s bc I am somehow both, even if I can’t show my anger or be mean to others and even if I feel like my smile never sticks either. I just find kinship in all of the characters who are on this list. and I feel like I aspire to be as strong and as kind and as loving despite all the pain I’ve been put through.  

thank you, this was so much fun! and sorry I made this so long and so complicated ^^’ but well, there are just way too many male characters I love haha

at the end I want to tag @i-am-just-a-kiddo​ @ashenwren​ @kholran​ @tiesanjiao​ @lan-xichens​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ @manhasetardis​ and @lzswy​​ ♥ feel free to do this in your own way or not at all! and thank you if you managed to read through my rambling :’D

[extraordinarilyextreme]

the twins (and Zhao Yunlan)

Warning: spoilers for the drama adaptation of Guardian (2018), some references to the novel, more mediocre translations between Chinese and English, some psychoanalysis, and more music analysis

first, props to the kings that are Zhu Yilong and Bai Yu for such astounding portrayals of their characters! the fact that Zhu Yilong has to shift between two characters—one of whom is in love with Yunlan and the other who thrives on hatred—is just... wow. and Bai Yu? like speaking from Yunlan’s perspective, imagine someone who wears the same face as your lover but holds all the wrong beliefs, all the contradicting beliefs, how heartbreaking that must be :(

the twins certainly break my heart (broke and continue to shatter relentlessly, which means i need to read more fix-it fics) because there’s just so much potential for them both??? this is why i’m such a sucker for fics where the twins work together (i.e., they share the burden of the Black Cloaked Envoy); they are equals, they should have been equals. they lost their parents at a young age; it was literally just the two of them against the world, and then the writers had the audacity to tear them apart and not just tear them apart, but make them enemies smh

(i just want me some brotherly teasing and shenanigans, is that so much to ask for? i want the twins to look out for each other but also irritate each other to no end, but they’d also never think twice about protecting each other)

anyway. right. equals. in the novel, these two are born as twin ghost kings with the same powers and same level in powers [if i’m not mistaken], but it was ultimately only Xiao Wei who caught the attention of the god Kun Lun. the drama mimics this as well with the powers the two Dixingren have: Shen Wei can learn other Dixingren’s powers, Ye Zun can consume other Dixingren and thus use their powers. their abilities are probably purposefully meant to be quite similar; this is just one of many instances where the twins, when stripped of all context, are virtually identical. but when you add in context, then the difference is of course that Ye Zun devours for himself whereas Shen Wei learns more in order to protect others. 

let’s look at how the way they interact with others provides more insight into their fundamental motivations. Professor Shen is polite, gentle, kind; Shen Wei has a near-obsession with the way he looks after Yunlan and the rest of the kids at the SID. (think about how after Ye Zun “devoured” Shen Wei and Shen Wei was mortally wounded when he saw Lin Jing... and his first instinct was to smile to provide reassurance and say how happy Yunlan would be if he knew Lin Jing hadn’t died.) Shen Wei lives to give and provide; he shares his life force with Yunlan to heal his eyesight, he does everything in his power to maintain the peace between Dixing and Haixing, he wants to uphold this hard-won peace because he knows what it’s like to lose everything, and he knows the cost of this peace and the treaty in place. his self-esteem is shot to hell—look at how many damn times he tries to sacrifice himself because he thinks he’s dispensable, because he believes this is all he’s good for. Shen Wei believes he HAS to provide for the people around them in order for them to stay. after all... wasn’t it his own fault, because he was too powerless, because he couldn’t do more, because he couldn’t give more, that he lost his younger brother and he lost Kun Lun?

now let’s shift gears to Ye Zun. Ye Zun focuses a lot on the desires of others in order to manipulate them (i.e., he asks Chief Zhao what he wants in one of the latter episodes, so that they may work together instead and is infuriated by the idea of a man who does not want anything). first, why this tactic? Ye Zun was captured by the Rebel Chieftain; his powers hadn’t awoken yet, so the only way he could be useful, could stay alive, was by pleasing the Chieftain. Ye Zun similarly feels he has to provide and again, like his brother, lives to provide and deliver. see? stripped of all context, both twins believe they need to give the people around them what they want in order to have meaning/live. second, in addition, Ye Zun knows first-hand what it’s like to be controlled and manipulated by others; he knows precisely what it feels like to have his mind, his thoughts, his feelings violated by someone else. it helps (?) that he also freaking devoured the Chieftain so that Ye Zun can literally use that mind control ability. he focuses on desires because he understands, perhaps too much, just how effective this manipulation tactic is. 

what about the way they talk? (another shoutout to Zhu Yilong for his phenomenal delivery of their lines again! i dont think i can credit a VA because, if i’m not misremembering, this show didn’t use much dubbing if at all, at least for two leads) Shen Wei is rather soft-spoken, patient, quiet and Ye Zun... Ye Zun is the same. Ye Zun usually does his whisper-rasp thing which 1) makes me incredibly anxious 2) might be because he’s been trapped in a pillar for 10 thousand years and hasn’t exactly had a corporeal body with tangible vocal cords to use 3) more importantly, sounds placating. Ye Zun speaks to tantalize because he seeks to manipulate. but why else would he want to placate? he grew up as a slave; it’s been ingrained in him that he shouldn’t raise his voice, it’s a survival tactic to not piss off his enemies/people with more power. Shen Wei also speaks to placate, but he speaks with no ulterior motive; if he approaches a spooked animal, he wants to help it. if Ye Zun approaches a spooked animal, he wants to ruin it. 

but wait, neither of them are always so placid you say, and well, of course, and Ye Zun definitely isn’t always so calm. Ye Zun has outbursts of excitement, anger (and you’ll find that the pissed off Envoy sounds very similar...); despite the mask he wears, Ye Zun is very childish. he wears his heart on his sleeve so to speak; he smiles when he’s delighted, frowns when he’s disappointed. he’s often more expressive than his brother even though Ye Zun tends to be the one who wears the literal mask when they appear in the same scenes. he never really grew up “normally” so to speak, which is why he’s so fucking furious that Shen Wei shared his life force with Yunlan. yet another grievance from the older brother! “it’s too boring!” Ye Zun complains, now that his brother is weakened and they aren’t equals anymore; it’s too boring, this game is too boring. Ye Zun is a child.

let’s also consider Ye Zun’s obsession with power. he went from slave to leader of the Rebels in a blink of an eye; what kind of freaking backlash must that have had on his psychological state? he’s hungry for power because it’s all he knows. “i am the master, you are the slave,” he taunts Shen Wei. “where is home? i’ve had no home since the day you abandoned me,” he tells Shen Wei.

“i’m your older brother,” Shen Wei reminds Ye Zun. “i never abandoned you,” Shen Wei explains softly to Ye Zun. if all Ye Zun knows is power (think survival of the fittest), then Shen Wei falls back on family, on love. he lost his blood family young, but then Kun Lun fell into his life and lit up his entire world. the Envoy protects his own people and Haixingren best as he can. Professor Shen has his students to look after. Shen Wei has Yunlan and the family at SID. Shen Wei didn’t grow up “normally” either, but he certainly grew up in a kinder world, and he definitely at least grew up knowing what it felt like to be loved.

Ye Zun: “I want to reform this world [...] This world is filthy.”

Ye Zun wants to destroy the world and recreate it; the “system” failed him. Shen Wei wants to protect the world by improving it; he knows the “system” isn’t perfect, but he also knows there are people living in the status quo and he has no right to strip them of that. Ye Zun sees the way his brother abandoned him, the way he himself was forced to survive; Shen Wei sees all the people he loves and needs to continue to protect.

now let’s turn to the respective relationships of the twins with Zhao Yunlan. i think i’ve mentioned this in my previous Guardian analysis textpost but one of the best things about WeiLan imo is that they’re both so fundamentally good. their ideals to uphold the peace and protect not just the people they love, but all people in need of protecting, are perfectly aligned. (this is also why i like WangXian from mdzs/the untamed)

Ye Zun, interestingly, comments that he and Yunlan are the same kind of person—someone who would stop at nothing for their goals. if Yunlan and Shen Wei match, then the younger twin is right. think of the Envoy’s solemn declaration that even the mountains would not stand in the way of him upholding his promise. WeiLan literally lose their lives for their shared goals. 

Ye Zun also mocks his brother that Shen Wei will be just like him, alone. but this condemnation doesn’t stem from the younger twin; the root of this lies with Kun Lun. i didn’t get why in the novel Kun Lun supposes it might have been better to kill Shen Wei at first... it’s because Kun Lun condemns him to thousands of years of loneliness both in drama and in novel. in the drama, when young Shen Wei brings up a what-if, Kun Lun (Yunlan) interrupts him and tells him that Shen Wei would still make this same choice, would still bear this same heavy burden. it is a condemnation, but it is also further proof of this understanding that ties WeiLan together. it is a condemnation, and yet it completes the string of fate and their infinite, cyclical love story.

Kun Lun (Yunlan) asks Shen Wei to forgive him if he has to disappear without warning one day. ten thousand years later, Shen Wei leads his little brother away, sparing just a few minutes to smile at Yunlan and return that lollipop wrapper to him. Shen Wei then walks away because he has complete faith that Yunlan will not blame him or curse him for it, no matter how heartbroken he will be. Shen Wei could forgive Kun Lun; Yunlan easily forgives Shen Wei.

(there’s also the parallel of betting between the twins. Ye Zun bets Yunlan on who will die first—the people Yunlan wants to protect, or Ye Zun. Shen Wei bets on whether or not he and Yunlan will find each other again. the younger twin bets with hatred and on death, the older bets with love and on life.)

i’ve said before that Yunlan brings out the human in Shen Wei. Yunlan brings out the human because they inspire love in each other; they are in love with each other. but Ye Zun, the dear little brother, also brings out the human in Shen Wei because this is truly the only blood family he has left. 

the last time we see Shen Wei’s glasses is before Ye Zun tortures his older brother; Shen Wei from then on is simply Shen Wei, no Professor, no Envoy. when he stands before them all, he is Ye Zun’s older brother, and he is Zhao Yunlan’s lover. when he blocks the blow, his theme begins to play—melancholic, calm, steady. his choice to protect Yunlan is fundamentally Shen Wei. ten thousand years prior, when the Envoy breaks the mask of the new leader of the Rebels, Shen Wei’s theme also plays. his little brother has been returned to him; Shen Wei is complete. his theme plays a final time when Shen Wei explains he never abandoned Ye Zun because again, his twin Ye Zun—like his lover Zhao Yunlan—completes Shen Wei as a character. Shen Wei is a character built entirely from love, from family. when he appears as a spirit to bring Ye Zun home, to offer family, Shen Wei is wearing the Envoy’s outfit of ten thousand years ago. the twins also complete a circle; the story begins with their wrongful separation, the story ends with their bittersweet reunion.

let’s continue with this music analysis! the Black Cloaked Envoy’s theme is 《万年不负》or “Have Not Failed/Disappointed for Ten Thousand Years”. he upholds his promise to Kun Lun/Yunlan to protect the peace between Haixing and Dixing for ten thousand years in the drama and five thousand years in the novel (he also protects the Great Seal in the novel that Kun Lun protected). Ye Zun’s theme is 《染灵》or “Dyed/Tainted Spirit”. Think about how dirty he believes this world to be, and how he proclaims “10 thousand years have passed. I can finally wipe off my disgrace!” (also how he’s a ghost king/hungry ghost in the novel from the Unclean Realm/Hell). 

Here’s a quote from the novel:  “我连魂魄都是黑的，唯独心尖上一点干干净净地放着你，血还是红的，用它护着你，我愿意。”

[Even my soul is black, only my heart where I’ve placed you is clean; there my blood is red, I’m willing to use it to protect you.]

i dont really remember the context of this quote but i think it’s the novel equivalent of where Shen Wei cuts his wrist for Yunlan. anyway it parallels the drama quote where Shen Wei says something like “my eyes are black, my hair is black, even my soul is black... but my blood is red.” it’s just another callback to the novel i think, that the twins are in fact twin ghost kings from the Unclean Realm. (and Kun Lun is a god. thinking about Xiao Wei curbing his bloodlust to become worthy of a god’s love and attention always makes me sob)

both pieces are commanding, lots of brass, but the Envoy’s is a quiet kind of commanding. an unnoticed protector, hovering just out of focus; perhaps a touch unsettling that he’s always there, but also a relief that his presence is a reliable constant. (think of when the SID first summons the envoy and he kind of melts out of the smoke like an unobtrusive shadow) Ye Zun’s is much louder; you cannot miss him, you will witness his triumph. consider how Ye Zun wears a gold mask and a white outfit, as if he were in the spotlight; the Envoy wears all black with only hints of silver. (perhaps the younger twin desperately wanted out from his brother’s long shadow.) 

the scene at the Dixing bar near the end when Yunlan retrieves the lantern. Ye Zun, dressed as the Envoy, enters and wow for a moment you can see all the hope and love in Yunlan’s face ;-; it’s Ye Zun’s theme that accompanies this false Envoy... and it almost lulls you into a false sense of victory. but it’s not the victory that Shen Wei has returned; it’s Ye Zun’s victory that he’s, in a sense, taken over/overpowered and “dethroned” his brother at last. (huge props to Bai Yu again; god i can’t even imagine... the love of your life dying to protect you but wait here he is but no it’s your worst enemy but they share the same face UGH)

the piece that plays when Kun Lun is sucked back by the wormhole is 《诀焰》or “Farewell Flame”. i think it also plays when he’s gonna sacrifice himself to light the Lantern. it sounds triumphant... but at what cost?

and the final piece i want to mention here is 《默守》or “Silently Guarding” and it’s kind of a rearrangement of WeiLan’s theme of 《时间飞行》or “Flying Across Time”. it plays when Shen Wei leaves his amber pendant behind for Yunlan to open. i always assumed this piece was from Shen Wei’s perspective but thinking again... this pendant, this lollipop wrapper, this memory of Kun Lun are what has kept Shen Wei going for so long. Zhao Yunlan is the one who has protected Shen Wei for so long. they will always protect each other. their love is a fated one.

anyway, listen to the soundtrack! rewatch and cry! if you’ve gotten this far, thank you for reading~