#wow i really just said all that
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sometimes my taste in media blows me away a little
like, i love red vs fucking blue when in personality i am a socially anxious introvert who probably is too optimistic and people-pleasing about stuff and is scared of being disliked and cries over fictional media lol
ok, i like to think i have a little more backbone than the above but like. idk i just found it kind of funny. like i know there’s all types (of queers)— jkjk but like we are a high demographic relatively speaking— in this fandom but i dunno. i like shows about chaotic assholes i guess lol
i’m debating whether to even post this since it is clearly written out of sleepy rambles but like. yeah sure why the fuck not
dan vs and sao abridged and that sci fi one i’m forgetting the name of with the cynical genius and her himno best friend also fall into the same chaotic assholes category lol
yeah imma sleep now. i hope y’all are doing goodddd
#am sleepy#good nighttt#i should do original posts more again#not like this one but in general#wow i really just said all that#eh i know my strengths and weaknesses and everybody’s got both#plus we’re on tumblr i’m not the only person here with anxiety lol#i’ve made a lot of friends through this fandom and i’m so happy to have met you all#okay i am starting to get sappy tired#definitely sleep time
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Moon dance 🌕✨
#narumitsu#wrightworth#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#capcom cafe#not sure HOW to tag this but it’s royal narumitsu my beloveds!!!#i love love love LOVE how their little gold details all sort of look like crescent moons of some sort! the inherent romance of the moon <3#also i cracked the CODE on edgeworth’s gold details i feel so big brained!!!!#can you believe i had this sketch since february of LAST year?? the side by side comparison is WILD bc it’s practically the same#back at it again with the nrmt + hands nonsense! didn’t really mean to do it this time but wow. hands huh#also…. if i said this would be a goldfoil print would anyone want..? 👀#come yell at me if yes or no or maybe you just feel as craci about the royal narumitsus as i do#rendevok#fan art#aa
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Okay.
As much as I love feral Satan, who lets his instincts run wild and growls, bites and everything else… his soft side is so fuckin’ cute.
The Satan that stares at you in confusion as you tend to a small cut on his hand he’d received on one of his rampages, unbothered by the mess around the two of you and concerned solely with him. How he doesn’t quite know why his chest feels so warm and tight as he looks at your gentle, concerned expression.
Satan, who doesn’t understand why he feels so weightless with you, why his heart flutters and why he wants to hold you so gently, as if cradling something precious.
Satan, whose anger fades just from your presence alone, overtaken with feelings he’s never experienced, that baffle him entirely but he can’t get enough.
Satan, who desperately throws himself into research just to understand you a little more, to put a name on how he feels about you— who’s just as afraid of his own feelings as he is elated by them.
Satan, who worries you’ll be frightened of him if his temper rises, but you never are, even when he tells you that you should be.
Satan, who lays beside you, watching your sleeping face and utterly baffled that you trust him so completely to allow him to see you in such a vulnerable state… who knows deep down he’ll protect you forever.
Satan, who fumbles each time he tries to explain any of this to you, whose face becomes adorably reddened with each failed attempt.
Satan, who realizes that you’ve accepted him entirely, his every fault, his everything, before he had even come close to accepting himself. Who loves you more than he could ever put to words, or that he could ever really comprehend.
Just him. You know? Ahh, just helping him come to terms with everything he doesn’t know, to grow and understand. Helping him, in the end, to love.
#Obey Me shall we date#Obey Me Nightbringer#Obey Me#Obey Me Satan#He has been plaguing my mind all day#just the soft moments with him#how confused he would be#how you accept him before he even accepts himself#fucking hell I love him so much okay#~astro fidgets#I didn’t even listen to a thing anyone said in the meeting I was just in#mind is only on writing and Satan#Wow that’s a sentence you can’t really say out loud huh#obey me Satan x reader#mc is so damn lucky#~take time to relax
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still absolutely losing my mind over Lilia
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#sebek: wow we're so lucky to see lilia-sama at his fighting prime. so commanding! so powerful!#lilia: (straight up stuffs a frog in his mouth without breaking eye contact)#seriously though i did not think it was possible for me to enjoy lilia even more. and yet.#'dragon eggs need love in order to hatch'#ten year old me: gasp. i knew it.#the IMPLICATIONS though!#forget true love's kiss we have true love's baby dragon over here#also twst. twst please. i do feel i need to call you out a little bit on malleus' age#i don't really have a problem with it i was just. surprised.#i mean i GUESS the description of dragon ages was vague enough that malleus being under 200 doesn't inherently contradict it#it could've been clearer okay :(#that said it is true that the younger malleus is the more hilarious his whole world-weary immortal schtick is#'ah...you are all as infants in comparison to me. ' - malleus (age 19)#also lilia being a foundling does explain him not knowing his real birthday. so i will forgive (1) birth-related shenanigan.#auuuugh the parallels between lilia and silver#brb i need to go roll around on the ground and mutter to myself for a while
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OlderDad!Bakugou who gets a haircut and his baby doesn't recognize him and he doesn't want his dad to pick him up 😭😭😭😭😭😭
Bakugou has a cry in the bathroom and you have to spend the rest of the night consoling him.
Also Hiiiiiii, miss u, hope youre gooooood
head in my hands bc of this, just thought abt bakugo growing out his hair a little bit right after baby's birth...takes him months to go and get a real haircut cuz he doesn't wanna burden you more than he already has and by the time he's okay with the thought (but only for "AN HOUR MAX," is what he says), he has a mullet thing going on and all this scruff on his chin🥺🥺🥺
so he gets home with his regular ol' haircut, maybe a little shorter just to account for ... not wanting to go again so soon, and baby's HOLLERING bloody murder as soon as they see him and refusing to be taken out of your arms, doing that thing where they're flipping their face back and forth to dodge a kiss...
it's so tragic bc not even a little cheek nuzzling helps to calm them bc bakugo's CLEAN SHAVEN and smells like aftershave instead of like dad when he tries!!!!!!
and after, you watch him kinda sulk into the bathroom, thinking like aw yeah thats a bummer but also pretty funny, too (esp bc the haircut does look good🫣🤓), AND HE DOESN'T COME OUT FOR LIKE an hour???
....until you finally have to ask him if he's okay in there and you're opening the door to him sitting on the toilet seat, arms crossed and red cheeks a little streaky with tears...
LJFKASDJFADSJK it's the cutest, most sad sight you ever did see!! ofc Bakugo tries to deny it, but the way he tears up again (after you're done assuring him he did nothing wrong) when his baby finally realizes it's him and smiles (and then how he refuses to give them up again until bedtime) has his ass. EXPOSED.
(i love and miss u more than air, earth, water, dirt + HOPE YOU'RE GOOD TOO BESTIE ILY)
#bakugo#HI PYGMY THIS WAS INSANE OF U TO SAY THANK U PYGMY MY BFFL#but sorry u said this and i had to rip the idea right out of your hands and put it straight into my mouth#i feel like i'm high on a drug i really do#bakugo doing that thing where he he refuses to leave baby or u for long periods and fights being told to go do something nice for himself#he's showing up to his first guys night in like 6 months and doesn't know what do with himself#needs a baby picture once and hour#and he gets home to baby asleep in the crib and YES he's upset he missed bedtime but also like. wow. alone time with y/n.#and he just wants to hold u🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and watch a movie and be together#and he;s finally at a point in his life when he's able to admit vulnerability and talks abt feeling like an inadequate dad.#and finally u just have to shut him up by fuc-[redacted for profanity]#oh my god gonna think abt this all night#ALL NIGHT I LOVE U PYGMY#caitie things#kids tw#gen#pygmy lurks
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got captured again 🙄🙄 these guys r lame fr
#can't believe roxy is homophobic omg#THAT'S A JOKE THAT'S A#nothing but love and respect for my girlie!!#should really draw her more#her and everyone else whoops#every black circle mission's just a double date haha that's craaazzyyy#WHO SAID THAT#explodes#nab draws!!#winx club#winx fanart#winx season 4#winx roxy#winx villains#wizards of the black circle#winx ogron#winx gantlos#winx anagan#winx duman#gantlogron#dumanagan#who gave her the juice box you might be wondering#it wasn't duman.#don't take any food or drinks duman hands you.#ever.#open or unopened.#public safety announcement!!#not this being the first time i draw all four wizards together btw-#i HATE it here wow
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He was about to kill you, Lex. Or divulge something you didn't want me to know.
— SMALLVILLE, "Forever" (4.21)
+ bonus from "Arctic" (7.20):
#smallville#smallvilleedit#svedit#lex luthor#jason teague#lionel luthor#clark isn't in these scenes but they're still very much#clex#sv 4x21#sv 7x20#dcmultiverse#my gifs#'why can't you see what's right in front of your face lex?' god. god. godddd.#I think there's a really interesting discussion to be had (with many potential viewpoints)#re: to what extent lex actually knew the truth either consciously or subconsciously at any particular time#and how much he was just in denial about it (and why)#I'm not really prepared to have that discussion in these tags but like#let's face it - lex figured out that clark had powers all the way back in 1x12#just because clark convinced him he was wrong at the time doesn't mean he just forgot that whole thing#and yet it seemed like the more seasons went on and the more obvious the truth became#especially the fact that clark was so heavily tied to all the alien weirdness of smallville#the more lex seemed to (subconsciously?) push back against accepting or recognizing that truth#I mean that's literally what he's doing in the 4x21 scene with jason#so it's like he both desperately wanted to know clark's secret but also didn't want to know at all#and that's just SO interesting#I mean jesus the 7x20 scene is supposed to be peak evil lex and yet he STILL has to be pushed into accepting the truth#and he does so with his eyes glistening because yeah he wanted to know clark's secret once upon a time but he never wanted THIS#(remember when lex told jonathan in s1 that he just wanted clark to have a happy normal life bc clark was such a good person?#and then he's told in 7x20 that to save the world he has to KILL clark and take that life away from him hahaha [crying] it's fine I'm FINE)#wow I really said 'I'm not prepared to have this discussion' and then just. proceeded to have it anyway huh. lmao oops
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"it was good fun! Surprisingly competitive I would say!"
#LITERALLY THE CUTEST MAN TO EVER EXIST#ive said this before but#seriously if you ever feel bad abt his results#just go watch his interview bcs wow nowadays seemingly he is never upset on main#as suzuki said to me: what drugs does aston have him on#bcs seriosuly#bro dnfed and is fine?? super smiley even?????#i think its just a matter of extremely low expectations tbh so he cant really be affected anymore atp#and he was happy about being up in the front so long!#bcs they didnt think he could sustain it that long both cause the pace and the tires#lmao n the other hand carlos seemed very salty imo#i think he said smth along the lines of fernando being too ambitious????? bro youre talking abt fernando alonso like??#and said he ruined both their results ah stfu dude#the guy youre talking abt literally dnfed and is all smiley#fernando alonso#2024 chinese gp#f1#formula 1#we do a little bit of f1
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Babysitting Shenanigans Part 2: Piston gets rowdy at Hot Rod's house!
Bonus:
#i drew bumblebees face and i didnt like it so i said Ill just do something easier! then proceeded to render his back.............#maccadam#tfe bumblebee#breakbee fanchild#hot rod transformers#jazz transformers#transformers oc#transformers sparkling#sorry to the Rodimus fans out there i love you but i cant draw him yet his lines are crazy#me everytime i draw a new transformer: damn girl your body IS CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#okay but i love drawing Jazz he's so :D#im getting faster at this and better at drawing transformers wow#although fun fact about me: all my screens have the blue light filter and hot rod was this ugly pink color the first time i colored him#great news! i learned how to use filters and wont have to render shadows individually anymore!!!!#i wanted to do that meme where the baby is duct taped to the wall but Piston is too big so i found the one where the guy is on the ceiling#hot rod is watching Fast and Furious idk which one i just googled fast and furious screengrab#i really like this doing these are so much fun :)#tf one jazz#cyberverse hot rod#tf piston#transformers#earthspark AU#The Last Mile Marker#i had to edit this i noticed a mistake so sorry
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (╥﹏╥) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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it probably wasn't the smartest decision to start an ongoing 1000+ chapter webnovel when i know it'll consume my every waking thought but here we are
open for better quality | no reposts
#turning novel#터닝#kishiar la orr#yuder aile#when i tell you i read the manhwa in one go last night and then started reading the novel today bc commenters said it was good#and my god were they right#i'm 40+ chapters in so i've just passed where the manhwa is at rn and wow#first of all thank god there are high quality and easily accessible translations#second of all kuyu-nim has a way of making all the lines carry weight. the dialogue and body language cues especially#like i'm definitely not that far in but there are already a few lines i can point out that made my heart clench#and the tension between the two leads is so so palpable#kishiar is very enigmatic i'm very interested in finding out what he's really thinking and what his abilities are#and i really appreciate the way yuder's development is focused on him caring about others and relying on them#ok and third the fact that it's a slow burn romance but focuses heavily on the plot and politics and relationships is so good#based on the tags this could have been very tropey but they didn't go that route and i'm glad for it#in other news i'm upset about how yuder came out but i have to post him bc i will not separate them ;;;#thought kishiar would be harder to draw bc he's pretty:tm: and i struggle drawing pretty boys but yuder put me through the wringer fr#anyway!! i love them very much!! going a little insane over them as you can see!!
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Hornet headcanon!
'Hornet' is not Hornet's true name.
I'm still torn between different reasonings for her having the name either
A- It was given to her as an honorary title, by Queen Vespa, during her training within the hive (or bestowed upon her after having finished her training as a symbol of her accomplishments.)
Or B- She gave the name to herself, after the fall of the kingdom, as a way to separate her current self from her past while still honoring some part of her past. (The part that is easiest for her to look back on.)
As for her birth name my sisters and I have decided on Arachnè. (The name is from a Greek myth, where the protagonist Arachnè challenges Athena to a weaving contest, wins, and is afterwards transformed into a spider.)
#I'm pretty sure it's said somewhere#I might just be making this up but either way I like that idea#That the hive was only recently infected.#And like the mantises they could not be infected against their will but willingly turned to the radiance#because living under a hive mind is what they were used to#and their queen who had been protecting them had died.#Anyway all of this is to say#Hornet did not have any very terrible memories or trauma related to the hive at least for the majority of the time.#Which is why she stuck to a name associated with that aspect of her life.#Also! On a somewhat related note I really enjoy the headcanon that the Pale King's true name is Ozymandias that is perfect I'm keeping that#Hollow knight#hk hornet#hollow knight hornet#hollow knight headcanon#Also yes I recognize that there are several flashbacks scenes in my fic where she is referred to as Hornet#Which doesn't align with this headcanon unless we go with option A maybe#But either way idc#I have literally been constantly learning and coming up with new hcs and theories ever since getting into hk#They don't always align#Being in the hk fandom is so fun guys#Wow this is a lot of tags ok I'm done
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god we need to bring crackfic back. or just short and idiotic ideas that wouldn’t happen but would be funny to read
#i just had a vivid imagination of geralt’s company having a pillow fight#setting and timeframe: september 10ish. in riverdell aka transriver#dandelion hits geralt with his bedroll pillow (a quite flat thing and not very comfortable but what are you to do) for levity#it’s a game of a bygone time. a mild pillow fight is plausible between geralt and dandelion in the short stories#cahir comments . wow … really dandelion … this is so juvenile … i haven’t done a pillow fight since i was 10 … it’s for kids…#dandelion’s response: pillow to the face. immediate vicovarian reaction: dandelion razed harder by his pillow than cintra by nilfgaard#dandelion screams ear-curdlingly (you’d imagine someone was being murdered in this swamp)#geralt (still at this moment in time resentful of cahir) leaps and attacks him with his pillow#geralt and cahir spar with pillows like swords but get to smothering each other quickly#milva (see this is foreshadowing for like two weeks days later) had enough and starts pillowing the both of them#she also had not said literally anything for the past week so this is a surprise that she would involve herself#dandelion hits milva on the ass (with his pillow…) she nearly kills him#geralt and cahir try to save dandelion etc#regis has been watching all of this like 🫤#geralt (better mood now) asks him why he is not getting involved.#regis: ‘what… ought i to be doing’#geralt: ‘helping me smack cahir with pillows’#regis doesn’t even sleep with a pillow. dandelion calls out he probably has an extra on his bedroll. milva screams at regis don’t touch that#regis psychoanalyzes they are relieving their stresses and anxieties in a social bonding ritual involving play fighting#which is likely of primal origin in simian social troupes but i digress#regis reasons he doesn’t have latent quarrels with anyone in the group so it would be pointless for him to join#cahir is like well i like everybody here and i still am smacking dandelion with a pillow 😐#milva reasons just imagine someone you hate on the other end. she imagined beating the crap out of her stepfather 👍#regis still reluctant to join | geralt gets an idea and smiles—imagine the guy who coined the term ‘undead’#wrath of eons unleashed#regis after knocking geralt off his feet with a pillow: am i doing it right ☺️#meanwhile nilfgaardian spy watching them from the bushes:#‘i was going to report on them but it looks as though they’ve all gone insane’#‘or maybe they were like that all along’#the elbow-high diaries
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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain
Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it
i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)
really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!
undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.
i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.
people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.
peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.
it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."
so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.
people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.
autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.
#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before#and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed#and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way#i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think#i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks
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i literally read the book of bill days ago but its only now kinda hitting me how fucked ford and bills whole thing was though cause ford literally talks about being so unable to sleep (to try to keep bill away), and when sleep inevitably caught up to him, he would wake up to his body abused and things messed with and he just couldnt seem to find an escape (and he literally didnt get to truly escape until 30 years later)
(also keeping people awake for unhealthily long periods of time is another tactic used to mess with and control people because of how it impairs brain function)
listing off the things we see in those few pages in the book of bill:
i mean, punching and scratching at a steel door for hours would be so damaging to your hands and probably hurt like hell for at least 2 days after. then bill says he was hitting fords head against a wall, though its said in a post-it as if its a joke, but he also isnt exactly above doing that, and honestly he says most things like its a joke.
i also dont need to say 'bill really doesnt know how to take no for an answer' because he makes that very clear in literally any interaction we see with him.
bill literally puts a venomous snake near ford while fords asleep, which could have killed him if he wasnt lucky+skilled enough to deal with it.
he nearly gives ford hypothermia, and in the same action actively threatens ford with the idea of making him jump off of a high spot, and like ford says, doesnt do it just so he can send a message to ford about how hes the one in control.
he gets ford in trouble with not only the law, but also with other people that are probably not very happy with him after. he mutilates fords body in several ways, and i dont think i need to go into detail on them because theyre... so ew. and he even exposes part of fords body to the world. like, its just taking his shirt off, but thats still showing off his body in a way that he didnt agree to or want
and then he attempts to (or purposefully fails to) call stan, using fords voice to threaten suicide and tell stan that ford never loved him.
and he punctuates it with a final power move, in a hallucination that he creates, hes messing with stans memories and making him feel like his body was basically about to implode
and like. okay, we all joke about toxic old man yaoi, and its a good joke and toxic old man yaoi is great and its an interesting ship, but holy fuck.
like. to say the absolute least, that had to be so, so deeply violating. its no wonder that when we see ford in the past, when he finally contacts stan, he looks like hes on the verge of shattering into a million pieces. he just went through, and still wasnt yet out of, some deeply abusive shit.
like... everything coming out lately both in this book and what ive heard is on the website, mixed with what we already knew from the show itself... the stans are both so, so fucking tragic dude. their whole lives were thrown away over things that really didnt even need to be the way they were, and then they both get into situations that are pretty damn screwed, and those situations follow them for the rest of their lives. its basically a miracle that things worked out in the end for them.
i dont really have a point, i just had to talk about all that. i read almost all of the book of bill in one sitting, and while i was really enjoying it, i was also getting kind of tired of sitting in one spot only doing this one thing for several hours straight. i still felt a lot of the emotional bits of it of course, but man this part specifically just really didnt hit me until now.
i mean, to say the absolute least, i know what its like to feel violated in a similar way, though not anywhere near to the extent of what he went through at all. someone get that man some therapy got damn
#my post#gravity falls#billford#// abuse ment#abuse tw#<- i dont really know the tags to use so if anyone sees this and feels that i didnt do enough. i can add more#long post#BY THE WAY THIS IS NOT A BILL HATE POST IF THAT EVEN MAKES SENSE#like fuck that dude for being so fucked up but also hes still such a fascinating and honestly fun character.#hes not a real person so its not like im being like 'oh but hes so charming so idc that he did all that'#like i very much care that he did all that but hes also. still just a fictional character#and yet again i repeat the sentiment: holy fuck i cant believe disney approved this book#they really said. 'this is one of our most beloved non-movie franchises#the creator wants to write another book in the series but this time its for mature audiences#and hes going to write out how the beloved villain of the show and one of the most important and beloved characters are in a deeply abusive#relationship. this is now an approved part of the disney brand!'#again i dont disapprove. i think this is a great addition.#but im so shocked that this was approved by 'the owl house doesnt fit our brand' disney.#i still refuse to stop believing that disney was just being homophobic about the owl house btw idc what anyone says#also no i wont go into detail on how i relate. but the connections are there and its.. wow.
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I still love you (Song: Still in Love with You by Deeps)
#scum villian self saving system#svsss#shen qingqiu#yue qingyuan#qijiu#79#Wow I have not posted on the webstie in a hot minute#I also keep forgetting this acc is the one with the kira theme#I haven't drawn a jojo in a long time#but yknow I still love him quite a bit#In any case I finally finished this animation! wow! I'm very happy hehe I hope you all enjoy#I really gotta feed myself when it comes to Qi ge#I just don't really like how he's always the background character or a yandere if he's in the main light#can't I just have a sad and pathetic little guy? can't I just enjoy his guilt complex? I understand he has potential for yandere-isms#but you cannot deny that he is truly a coward and so so so mired in his own guilt I don't think he'd really be a good yandere due to that#but also because he's just a guy alsgkhal I said he has potential but honestly? I think its the kind to stay theoretical yknow#Anyways I just really like him and I need to feed myself so here I am#I'm really bad at searching for fandom content I usually just... have it fed to me cause the internet stalks me yknow? so Idk how to find#the qi ge content I want ah... unless its fics ha I'm scouring the ao3s I'm on page 134 on the scum villain fic search results I'm lookin'#anyways enjoy I'm gonna spend another 84 years making a new animation peace!
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