#wow I crammed a lot into this reply lol
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inchidentally · 11 months ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/gxtzeizm/730214598851067904?source=share THAT LAST GIF! :O
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ok but the way oscar eats in these and the other rare moments we've seen him eat is so fucking sexy??? weirdly enough gremlin Lando eats fairly demure bc while he may shovel it in like a victorian street urchin begging for crusts of bread he does keeps his mouth closed and he's good about chewing. but Oscar is all teeth, curled up nose and throws back BIG bites to gnaw on, jaw working away. he's also super nonchalant about it and doesn't care if Lando or anyone else watches. he's going to eat his fill regardless.
that's also what I was thinking of when he did the wordless 'put your hands out and I'll give you a portion' rather than just handing the bag over to Lando after opening it. he's going to keep Lando in that dependent position because Lando actually likes it.
it made me think of this absolutely devastating ex-dando landoscar fic where Oscar casually asserts dominance over Daniel by eating from a chicken carcass with his bare hands and then kissing Lando possessively. I could literally see him hunched over ripping pieces of dark meat from the bone knowing that he can reel Lando in from Daniel with just a word. look at Lando's face in that gif above and that's the perfect imagery for fic Lando who's used to being at the mercy of an uncaring master because he wants so badly to be cared for - and now he's finally found someone who will wield the upper hand but always look out for Lando's welfare first. he's hanging on Oscar's every word and reaction and won't budge or speak until Oscar does because Oscar will always do what's right for Lando. sorrryyyy that fic is just - sometimes it dominates my mind.
but also the fact that Oscar's face always resets into that serious, determined expression with the unnerving steady gaze under those straight eyebrows idk. just all kinds of casual dominance and confidence. the fact that he'll absolutely have seen fans joke about how much he stares at Lando but he's never bothered to try and stop ??? like 'go ahead and watch me eat' 'go ahead and watch me stare at Lando' 'go ahead and try to publicly pressure me into signing that contract' 'go ahead and assume a rookie can't beat Max in a sprint race'. like he's saying 'this will be amusing for me'. 'first thing to say is… I would never back out of a race'. and how all of Lando's moods - even when he's in bad ones - are all easily accepted by Oscar because he's decided Lando is Always Worth His Time. but does he go out of his way to try and make new buddies with the rest of the grid? nope, mostly sticks to Logan or Zhou. Worth His Time.
I think it's why I love my vamposcar au so much bc sometimes it's like this old soul is having to pretend to be a nervous, awkward boy to not give the game away and sometimes he just forgets lol
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prettyboykatsuki · 1 year ago
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hi i have never sent you an ask but i absolutely needed to after this :3 ik how to be a dog has be out for a while, but i finally got around to reading it!! dark content like that is something i have slowly but surely been working myself up to read bc it used to mess with me a bit, but im so glad i gave it a chance!! HTBAD might just be one of the greatest pieces of work i have read in a hot while. i dont just mean fanfic wise, i truly think it is a wonderful piece of literature. ive been a fan of your work and way of words for probably about a year give or take but this piece really wowed me! i cant really put into words how wonderful i thought it was and i just want to thank you for putting the time and effort into it that you did and especially want to thank you for sharing it with us! i was so entranced the entire time and it was so beautifully written i wish i could just go back and read it for the first time. also in general your characterization of gojo (and many others) is so amazing it makes me want to just eat everything you put out up. anywayyy ill stop rambling and get off of my soapbox but thank you again for all that you share with us!! you are so talented it is insane :D ~bugsy (me lol)
IM ANSWERING THIS ASK SO TERRIBLE LATE. BUT I REMEMBERED I GOT IT AND WANTED IT TO ANSWER. SORRY FOR THE LITERAL NINE DAY DELAY ON IT MY INBOX IS CRAMMED FULL OF STUFF I HAVE NO REPLIED TO BUT IT MEANS A LOT
first of all, thank you for giving HTBAD a chance when you don't read a lot of dark content!!!!!!!!!!! i completely understand that, and it means all the more to me when people willingly read my stuff despite that feeling of fear of disgust. reading dc isn't easy!! YOU REALLY have to have a kind of mental well being to do so which is why i really appreciate being the one to read
second of all, THANK YOU! a piece of literature feels like so much more than i deserve....it means a lot if you've read my other stuff and still but HTBAD so highly.... im sorry it has taken me so long to get to this but i remembered i wanted to answer it so i had to scroll through like 50 asks to make sure i did. thank you and i love you!!!
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pankracy · 1 year ago
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I just found a thing I did a few years back when I was an intern in IT. It was like this. I needed to finish an internship to finish school. I went to this one company and the manager asked, what do you want to do in IT. And I replied, I want to be a programmer! :) Because I did. But I knew shit about it. All I've ever done was some of the simplest javascript and php coding for school. And the dude was all, oh, that's cool, see, we need to make this app that'd create charts. Here's the software, here are the database credentials, find yourself some useful libraries, remember to check the licenses!! Have fun :D
And I was like. Oh. Okay. Do I tell him I've never touched java? Like never in my life? What the fuck is a maven? What. Thankfully I at least knew SQL well enough.
But I was way too nervous to say I'm seeing all this stuff for the first time in my entire life. And he told me already what I was supposed to be doing. So. After coming home. I was just reading all about it, how do you program in java, what's a constructor (lol), and I didn't really have time to go about it all properly, as in really get what I'm reading because the internship lasted a month you see, I had a month to write this application and write instructions about how it works and how to set it up so other people could make use of it later.
Tl;dr I still work for this company, and I am not a programmer, but today I was looking for some stuff and I found the instructions I've submitted. And. Wow. Since then I've started learning java properly. Now I'm on a course. So I read what I'd written, perfectly aware I'd done it without having the faintest idea what I'm talking about, AND IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY OK? I bullshitted through it wonderfully. I used words I didn't know the proper meaning of in all the right ways, SOMEHOW. I showed how to set up a project in eclipse from the very start to finish, how to use maven dependencies, how to connect to the database, everything, to create a working application according to specifications I got. And all of that in a month. There's a whole code I've written and it's working properly. And sure, there was a lot of copy&paste and iirc the stuff I used had awesome extensive demos, example code included, but.
Now that I remembered all that I'm trying to make peace with the fact that instead of telling my boss, who really didn't care! and was cool!, that yeah, I would LIKE to be a programmer, but I'm not knowledgeable enough for this project, maybe I could help someone with server management instead? I shut up, never told anyone I had any problems or needed support, and with tears and sweat crammed enough into my head to do everything myself in a month. I. I was definitely in a special place then. And it was the moment I was pretty far on the road to recovery from the worst of my depression and anxiety, which only proves that I'd really been not fit to work when it was really bad, pfff. Like I've come so far since then, now that I get a ticket, look at it, decide it'd be way too much work for much too little gain and decidedly write back "no, we're not even trying this, sorry".
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runicmagitek · 3 years ago
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tagged by the lovely @wingsyouburn - thanks bb! 💕
How many works do you have on AO3? 209?? I'm sorry what????
What’s your total AO3 word count? 958,942??? HOW????????????
How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? *cackles* Oh sweetheart, sit down. We're gonna be here for a while.
According to my AO3 account, I have 54 different fandoms tagged. Most of them are for video games, but the occasional anime sneaks in now and then. I also have a few MCU fics, one book fic, and a podcast fic. My most prolific fandom is Final Fantasy VI with 50 fics.
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Wings of Valor and Compassion (Pharah/Mercy - Overwatch)
No Safety in Desire (Urbosa/Zelda - Legend of Zelda)
Give Them Something to Talk About (Dina/Ellie - The Last of Us)
Finally, Beautiful Stranger (Aeris/Tifa - Final Fantasy VII)
Don't Bring Your Black Heart to Bed (Thanatos/Zagreus - Hades)
Glad to see everyone enjoying my quality gay shit. Also very amused that out of these five, three of them were from last year.
Do you respond to comments, why or why not? I do! Or I at least make a solid effort to do so! I usually can't really sit down to properly reply until the weekend, unless it's something super quick I can shoot off on my phone, so I hope people don't mind the wait.
What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Depends on the flavor? For straight-up Bad Ending vibes, absolutely Limbo (I really need to crack out another horror fic, because I love those, even if the majority of fandom doesn't). For right-in-the-feels vibes, Waiting for the Dust to Settle was a recent one I did that just sucker punches you with bittersweet Oh No goodness. It also reminds me of In Another Perfect Life, which ends on a similar note. *squints* actually, these are all for Final Fantasy VIII, which is saying a lot about... something lol
Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? Um... not really? I don't think I have? At least not in the traditional sense where characters from Fandom A interact with characters from Fandom B. I have written some fusion crossover stuff. If You Had Life Eternal comes to mind, where I took Jaina and Kael from WoW and plopped them in Diablo's setting, because reasons.
Have you ever received hate on a fic? I had someone leave a super homophobic comment on one of my Pharmercy fics back in the day, which like... dude, are you lost?? I've also gotten some general weird comments that have little to nothing to do with the fic. I do remember someone on FFN commented saying that I needed Jesus on one of my witch-y fics. Sigh.
Do you write smut? If so what kind? Yes. The delicious kind (I hope).
Have you ever had a fic translated? Probably?? I've had a handful of people over the years ask to translate my stuff, but I haven't seen anything pop up on AO3.
Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope.
What’s your all-time favorite ship? LIKE JUST ONE???? My brain fluctuates when it comes to this, but I definitely have a type or two I always gravitate towards. The most recent addition is Keitaro/Natsuno (13 Sentinels), which lives in my head rent-free from now until I die. I also always find myself coming back to Celes/Setzer (FFVI) and Aeris/Tifa (FFVII).
What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? A bunch of 2016 drafts I started and then dropped when my life imploded. I've yet to revisit any of them and I'm not sure if I ever will at this point :\
What are your writing strengths? Apparently sneezing out 7k words without breaking a sweat.
What are your writing weaknesses? Sneezing out 7k words without breaking a sweat *sobs in a corner* ALSO TITLES I HATE TITLES
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I'm... not sure I fully understand what this means? Like having characters speak in another language randomly? I did this sparingly in Darkness/Starlight, where I had Jidoor be a blend of French and Italian, thus giving Setzer an appropriate accent and the occasional French comment. I didn't translate those into English, because the POV character (Celes) wouldn't have understood what was being said. Plus any time Setzer did dip into it, he was speaking from the heart, but was too afraid to actually TELL her. So if anyone had half the mind to translate those bits, they'd find out Setzer said the most touching things to her in French.
ANYHOW. I honestly don't really do this much, especially when a handful of my fandoms are Japanese and I'm writing in English and we're just assuming everyone's talking in Japanese so... yeah. Take it or leave it, I guess.
What was the first fandom you wrote for? Like when I was 10??? A crossover between Sailor Moon and Final Fantasy VII because FUCK YOU I DO WHAT I WANT.
What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? You're killing me, smalls, and I ain't picking just one.
Darkness/Starlight is forever near and dear to my heart for being a labor of love for such a small, old fandom and my beloved rarepair.
Learn to Fly is one I love for the amount of research I put in (I replayed Pyre and took so many notes on both Ti'zo's and Rhae's speech patterns to get them just right) and the delightful, yet bittersweet messages it exudes.
Long Journey Home is another favorite, because I poured my heart into it and it's got one of my favorite lines and ending.
Of What's Left of Us and Who We Used to Be was my attempt at evoking the surreal, yet heartwrenching vibes from the series and again, I also poured my heart into it.
Before We Have Another Chance to Go Loving was me cramming a massive longfic idea I had in my head forever into a small triple drabble series and it's forever canon in my heart.
The Lies We Tell Ourselves is my most recent fic I've published, which I wrote/edited/polished in four days, but I'm tickled pink with how it turned out.
tagging: @dvske @deemoyza @rosemochi @fury-brand @aliatori and any other writers who feel like swiping this! No pressure, as always 💕
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yelena-bellova · 4 years ago
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Don’t Be Afraid: Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader - Chapter Twenty One
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Chapter Twenty One: Old Friends
Series Masterlist
Plot: Y/n and Poe pay a visit to Maz Kanata, but don’t find what they expect to.
Warnings: maybe one curse word
Word Count: 6.1k
A/N: This day has been...a day...and I almost didn’t get this one out because of how long it took me to edit. There’s so much dialogue in these chapters that can’t be cut (especially about planets created for Resistance Reborn lol) so sometimes I feel like it’s a bit messy. Anyways, hope you enjoy!
————
“Y/n. Sweetheart, wake up.”
I groggily moaned as I forced my eyes open, blinking a couple times till my vision was clear. I hadn’t intended to fall asleep but as soon as Poe had said it was going to be a while till we arrived at our destination, I was out like a light. We were flying a one man ship so I’d inevitably ended up sitting on Poe’s lap, the sound of his heartbeat had soothed me to sleep.
“We’re coming into the atmosphere,” he announced.
“Good,” I yawned, “Anything from the Falcon?”
Poe shook his head, “Nothing yet.”

“Wow,” I breathed as I took a look at the planet we were approaching, “That’s Ephemera, huh?”

It’s beautiful, Bee commented.
“It is beautiful,” Poe replied, bringing one hand off the controls to squeeze my thigh affectionately.
What kind of planet is it?

“It was once a mining planet, like Bespin. But here they mined the tibanna gas to extinction.” Poe explained to the droid, “After it was all gone, the Empire abandoned its colonies and most of the settlers ran with them. Good riddance, from what I hear. It left the planet back in the hands of its original inhabitants and a few holdouts who weren’t there just to cash in but had grown to love the place. And then, surprise, they discovered tuusah.”
“What’s tuusah?” I asked, still admiring the colors of the planet.

“Residue from the mine runoff. Turns out tuusah has medicinal properties, so a new industry was born. Maybe it wasn’t as lucrative as the Empire’s strip mining, but it was a heck of a lot kinder to the planet’s flora and fauna.”
When were they ever kind?

“You’re right,” he said. “The Empire has never been kind. But the planet is a resort destination now, and the capital is called Wish. What a name, right? It used to be Outpost 665 or something boring like that. But now? Wish. It’s one of the largest spas in the galaxy. All kinds of mineral baths and healing treatments and some kind of legendary oxide therapy that’s supposed to make you look younger.”
Poe and I had both seen our share of the galaxy and anytime we’d go on missions together, we’d get into a debate of who knew more about the planet’s history. Once we knew where we’d be going, we’d both usually try to cram as many facts into our heads in an attempt to outsmart the other.
“What?” he chuckled as he caught me staring at him.
“Nothing,” I grinned, “Just enjoying the lecture, Professor Dameron. When’d you find time to study?”
Poe’s lips tugged upwards into a small smirk, “Doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’ve got nothing.”

They don’t have any treatments for droids, right?

“I think you’re safe. Bee,” I laughed, “We’re not here for facials, we’re here for Maz.”

Poe flew us through the pastel clouds of the planet, it was absolutely gorgeous. I wouldn’t have minded coming back at some point. But the thought of visiting planets purely for recreation seemed like a distant dream. Maybe one day Poe and I could vacation somewhere but for now, our trips were centered on war.
A transmission came in from the landing strip.
“Welcome to Ephemera airspace,” came from a breathy, zen-like voice, “Please identify yourself so that we can grant you landing clearance.”

“This is…” Poe hesitated in giving his name, we hadn’t thought whether or not we should’ve been using aliases. Was it likely that the First Order was hiding out on a planet known for their spa facilities? No. But being cautious never hurt anyone, especially people in our situation.
“Poe Dameron, is that you?” a familiar voice came through, “Oh, give me that mike, dear, I can take it from here.” There were more muffled protests on the other side, leaving us confused.

“Maz?” Poe called.
“What? Of course it’s me, you fool. Who else would have asked you to this backwater?”

“Maz, is everything all right?” I asked.

“Baby Solo! Your boyfriend didn’t tell me you were coming too!” she cried happily, putting heavy emphasis on the word ’boyfriend’.
“Yeah, it sounded like something was going on.” I replied.
“Bah. Just some people getting a little possessive with the equipment. Nothing to concern yourself with. I’ve handled it. Now hurry up. I haven’t got all day.”
Poe furrowed his brows as we looked for a place to park, “Uh, I’d be happy to land, but I don’t see anything that looks like it’ll hold the ship up. Am I in the right place?”
“Oh, you’re right. Isn’t that funny? Some kind of security measure, the locals assure me, but really I think they’re just partial to the undulation.”
“Undulation?” I repeated.
“You’ll see. Everything here sways a bit. Now...let me...”
It took a moment of hearing various sounds on Maz’s end before one of the platforms solidified before our eyes.
“What in the...?” Poe mumbled to himself.
“It’s perfectly safe, Dameron.” Maz assured, “Now are you going to land or not? I thought you were on urgent Resistance business.”
I shook my head in disbelief, only Maz could have picked a place like this. “Copy,” I said. “We’ll see you in a few minutes.”
“Good, good. See you soon. Oh, are you hungry? Have you two eaten? I should have food brought up, shouldn’t I? I’ll have to ask them to prepare something special unless...you don’t have time for a psychedelic experience do you?”
Poe chortled at the question, “Not today, Maz. Like you said, urgent business.”
We landed on the, surprisingly stable, platform Maz had formed for us and headed into the grand looking facility. For all my years of knowing Maz, I still sometimes didn’t understand her. Her connections spanned across the galaxy and back, she knew everybody from beggars on the streets to political diplomats. She had eyes everywhere even if she didn’t move around all that much. Out of all the people the Resistance was seeking aide from, I had no doubt that Maz could probably help us the most.
————
“I’m not helping you with anything,” Maz said, adjusting her goggles to see us clearer. Our faces were nothing sort of shocked. “If you recall, last time I stuck my neck out for the Resistance, the First Order destroyed my castle. Do you know how much I loved that castle?”
“I know, it was spectacular.” I replied, memories of that day flooding back.
“The best. Do you know how long I had had it?”
“A thousand years?” Poe offered.
“A thou...” Max paused, and shot daggers at Poe, who offered her a playful smile in return, “Longer than you’ve been around, flyboy, that’s for sure. So don’t sniff at me like I’m being unreasonable.”
Maz put her hands in a bowl of colorful thick goop and pulled out a handful. It reeked something awful but she didn’t seem to mind as she offered us some, “You want?”
“No, we’re fine.” Poe answered for both of us, my face was scrunched up in disgust at the odor.
Here we were, sitting on lounge chairs inside one of Wish’s day spas putting everything out on the line. And here Maz was refusing to help us. She was perfectly content to sit with her feet soaking in mud and having attendants bring her various teas. She hummed as she rubbed the gelatinous stuff into her face without a care in the world when Poe and I bore the fate of the galaxy on our shoulders.
“What is that stuff? It smells horrid.” I commented, taking another whiff of the air and immediately regretting it.
“Feline poop.” Maz answered casually, “From some species that’s lived here so long that it’s practically native to the planet. Imagine. A planet with no solid ground but plenty of cats. The story is that the founder of Ephemera was a Rothkahar philosopher. He domesticated this species because he thought them of advanced intelligence...or maybe they domesticated him. I forget. Anyway, later on, he found that their excrement had healing properties. High concentrations of tibanna gas, naturally processed into tuusah. Does wonders for the skin.”
Rubbing animal feces into your body to achieve better looking skin. Sure. Totally normal.
“That’s great, Maz,” Poe said, changing the topic quickly, “But can we get back to the topic at hand? The Resistance needs your help.”
“Yes, you told me.”
“We need a place to hide and regroup. It needs to be outside of prying First Order eyes but able to handle our needs for housing, supplies, communications...” Poe explained.
“Didn’t you say there were only a handful of you left on a single ship? What needs could you have?” she replied.
Poe and I glanced over to each other, surprised at how insensitive she sounded. This wasn’t the Maz I knew.
“There’s going to be more,” I pointed out, “The Resistance is scattered across the galaxy and we’re going to continue to grow. We need shelter but we also need people like you. Leia was the only member of our leadership that survived, we need your help in leading the Resistance.”

“Lead the Resistance?” Maz’s eyes moved suspiciously between Poe and I, “I thought that was your job.”
“We…” Poe began, biting his tongue almost immediately. Very few knew about our demotions but we wore shame as if the whole galaxy mocked us.
“Expecting me to do your job for you?” Maz grumbled with a humorless laugh, “You two are the commanders in the room. Or has that changed?”
“Nothing’s changed,” Poe replied quickly, causing me to turn to him in confusion. Were we supposed to lie and cover up the fact that we’d lost our titles? Either way, Maz didn’t seem to care as she lay back in her lounger and closed her eyes. We waited for something, anything, to come out of her mouth. She always had some sort of unique and cryptic wisdom to offer. It was when light snores escaped her lips that it seemed like it was a hopeless cause.
Poe rose from his seat and offered me his hand, “This was a waste of time. We should go.”
“No!” Maz shouted suddenly, grabbing hold of his wrist. All of her trademark personality had left the one eye she had opened and she was dead serious. “Listen closely to me, Poe Dameron. You see me like this, and you think me a fool. Good for me, because when an enemy perceives you as foolish or weak, that is when they are most vulnerable in their arrogance. That is when you strike.”

Upon her last word, she yanked down on Poe’s hand and his feet went out from under him. He landed harshly on his back and had the wind knocked out of him on impact. I rose to help him up but Maz forcefully pushed me back onto my lounge chair with her other hand. She climbed off her seat and stepped onto Poe’s chest, bending over so that her face was almost touching his.
“I see arrogance in you. And that is what gets you in trouble, causes pain.” Maz observed before blindly pointing to me, “And fear in you. It’s controlled you all your life.”
I hated when Maz did this, or at least when it was directed at me. While my ego played a part in the mutiny, fear had been my main motive. Fear played a bigger part in my life than Maz even knew. It stopped me from picking up my lightsaber, it stopped me from telling people that I was Force sensitive, it delayed me from deciding to train as a Jedi…
“We learned our lesson,” Poe gritted out, still pinned down and I didn’t dare to help him.
“Have we?” Maz asked, looking between the two of us.
I struggled for words, I didn’t want to have to recount the events again. Especially to someone who could see right through me. The few times I’d slept since Crait had been filled with nightmares containing the transports exploding and the screams of my fallen comrades. Asleep or awake, I was being forced to relive my mistake constantly.
“You asked if we were still leaders,” Poe started, he could tell I was too wrapped in my thoughts to speak, “The truth is that I don’t know. W-We made some mistakes...”
“Mistakes?” Maz repeated.
“We led a mutiny,” I blurted out, the truth flowing from my lips quicker than I could manage. “We were being kept in the dark and didn’t trust the person in charge. I had just lost Dad and Mom was in a coma and I panicked, alright? I-I felt like I had to do something! I didn’t want anyone else to die and we ended up killing so many.”
“And did you?” Maz jutted her chin up as she looked at me, “Have to do something?”

I blinked away the tears that filled my eyes, guilt rose in my chest as I thought of Holdo. Standing in the hanger as she watched our transports flee the Raddus, she had everything under control while I’d been scheming behind her back.
“No,” I trembled and ducked my head as if that would shield me from her vision.
“Dameron?”

“No,” he said, “I’m a soldier and she was my commanding officer. All I had to do was trust.”
I peered up to see Maz plop down on Poe’s chest, a sight that should’ve amused me, but didn’t. The moment had drained me of every emotion that wasn’t sorrow or guilt.
“And now what?” she asked.
“What?” Poe said, his eyes rested on me to make sure I was relatively alright.
“Let’s say you’re right. That your actions, your arrogance, got many people killed. Led the Resistance to where they are now: broken, on the run, destitute, and begging for help.”
As I stayed silent, Poe spoke up, “We fix it.”
“How will you do that?” she asked. “You can’t bring the dead back. You can’t single-handedly rebuild the Resistance, although,” Maz snorted and looked between the two of us, “If anyone was going to try it would be you two.”

“I can bring down the First Order.” Poe answered.
“Alone?” Maz raised her eyebrows in amusement
“If I have to.”
She shook her head, “Arrogance. Still.” Maz adjusted her position so she was kneeling over him, “You know who else is arrogant? The First Order.”
“The First Order is evil, Maz, that’s not a fair comparison.” I stuck up for my boyfriend, sniffling after, “No one knows that better than me.”
Maz adjusted her goggles again, seemingly staring straight into my soul. While I’d never explicitly told her about my family history, she’d always known. If you knew the Solo family, it wasn’t hard to connect the dots as to why we suddenly became a permanent party of three one day. I hoped she wouldn’t push it, that was one wound I didn’t need reopened.
“I’ve seen evil in many forms, children. The First Order is no worse than the Sith, or the Empire, or countless others who would use the dark side. As always, they must be countered with the light. But...” Maz finally climbed off of Poe and came back to sit on her lounge chair, removing her spectacles as she did, “I have my own way of fighting. Not everything is about armadas and starfighters, you know.”
Poe sat up finally, rubbing at his sore back and stared at Maz. I was just as surprised, I never thought that she would be the one to disappoint me. She seemed so…
“You think I’m callous,” she finished my thought, “But I’m not. You will be fine without me.”
I scoffed at her dismissal and stood up, “You’re the last person I would’ve expected to say no to helping, Maz. Especially after what happened to Dad…”

“I sure hope you’re right, lady,” Poe said bitterly, “Because if you’re not, me and mine are going to die. And you can sit with that for a thousand more years for all I care.”
With that, we silently made our way out of the spa feeling like even bigger failures than we had when we entered.
————
I dried the last of my tears as Poe asked for clearance to leave for the second time, only to be denied. One of his arms was tightly wound around my torso, Maz’s questioning had opened a floodgate I’d been trying to keep shut. The mutiny, Holdo, Dad…I wished more than anything that my father was here, he would know exactly what to do. How to rebuild, how to lead, how to atone for my sins…
I growled and smacked the side window of our ship, “Why won’t they just let us off this damned planet?”

Poe tried again to be met with the same breathy voice with a different message, “Negative, pilot. You have company.”

We looked around through the pastel fog that surrounded us and found nothing. A sudden knock on the window had us both jumping and reaching for our blasters till we saw who it was. Maz.
“Open up,” she said with another tap on the glass.
Poe opened the cockpit and Maz leaned into the small space.
“There’s something I meant to tell you before you ran off like that. But first, where did you get this ship? It’s a relic.”
“It’s a loaner.” Poe answered exasperatedly, “I told you we’re down to scrap metal, everything else destroyed. Now what do you want?”
“It’s a relic, but it’s also a collectible. When you’re done with it, come see me. I might buy it.”
I sighed frustratedly, “Maz, what do you want? We’ve got places to be.” That was a lie, we had absolutely nowhere to go.
Maz waved us off as if we had all the time in the world. “We’ve long suspected that the First Order has been taking children and disappearing people on the margins of the galaxy. But things are escalating now: arresting people on phony trumped-up charges. Small crimes that they’ve blown up into capital offenses, or charges simply fabricated out of nothing. People going missing in the dead of night, their families having no idea what happened to them. Nighttime raids or picked up off the streets and vanished. And the people most likely to disappear? People with ties to the old rebellion. And interestingly enough, we’re seeing it with some old Imperials, as well. Those who have been outspoken about their distaste for the First Order, but also those who have remained neutral. Anyone who might pose a threat, now or down the line.”
“Do you think that’s what happened to our allies?” I thought out loud, “They could’ve been arrested?”

“Maybe. Possibly.” Maz answered with a shrug, “But the First Order used to do it in secret. Now they don’t bother. They snatch people off the streets and don’t even pretend to have whatever planet they’ve infiltrated hold a sham trial. Just death or labor camps.”
“Labor camps?” Poe breathed, it was a heavy revelation.
“Someone has to build all those fancy new ships, eh?”
Poe and I shared a look, trying processing the information. “Thanks, Maz,” he said thoughtfully, “Leia will want to know about this.”
“Yes, I thought she might. Rumor has it that there’s a list somewhere of all the people they’ve taken. A big list. No one’s seen it, but I’ve got people chasing it down. I hear something definitive, I’ll call you.”
“Please do,” I responded with a single nod.
“You sure you don’t want to sell this ship?” Maz gestured to our ship once more.
“Not ours to sell.” Poe replied.
“A shame.”
Poe began to close the cockpit just as Maz called our names, “Poe! Y/n!”
We turned our heads to see a knowing smile on her face, “Be the light.”
————
We’d just gotten off Ephemera when we began to discuss the visit.
Bee initiated the conversation, What’s wrong?
“I guess I expected more.” Poe answered, earning a hum of agreement from me.
Well, what did you expect?
“Anything. I’ve known Maz a long time and never once has she disappointed me.” I shook my head, “Guess I can’t say that anymore.”
I’m sorry.
“Maybe our expectations were too high.” Poe let out a heavy sigh.
I leaned my head back against his shoulder and let out a similar sound. My mind was swirling with chaos, most of which I’d created for myself. I felt like there was going to be a dark cloud of shame that followed me around for the rest of my life. Poe’s reply to Maz back in the spa still had me thinking though, we had to fix our mistake. We couldn’t bring back the people we’d lost, but we could try to make amends. The question of how we would do that, I still didn’t have an answer for but I was determined enough to figure it out.
Communication coming in, it’s from the Millennium Falcon.
I sucked in a breath, it was the first contact I’d had since I’d left the ship. What was waiting on the other end? I felt my anxiety building once again at the extreme scenarios that filled my head. As if he could read my mind, Poe grabbed my hand and squeezed hard. His nerves were just as high as mine.
“Put it through, buddy.” Poe requested, his thumb rubbing over my hand lightly, “This is Poe Dameron, everything all right?”

“Poe!” Rose’s voice greeted, “Good to hear your voice. Wait, isn’t Y/n with you?”

“I’m here, Rose. Is everything okay?” I held my breath as we awaited her answer.
“Falcon’s on land,” she answered, “We’re hoping you and Maz will join us.”
“Maz isn’t coming,” Poe said regretfully, “I’m afraid she’s decided to sit this fight out.”
“What? Why?”
I didn’t want to lie to Rose but didn’t feel right telling her just how disinterested in our sufferings Maz appeared to be. “It’s a long story. Where are you guys?”
“That’s a long story too but the short version? Leia secured us temporary shelter on Ryloth.”
“That’s great news, Rose,” I sighed, turning to Poe who seemed to be lost in his own thoughts and giving him a nudge. He shook himself out of his daze, “We’ve got a place to land. Ryloth system.”

“The Ryloth system?” Poe repeated with a small chuckle, “How did Leia pull that one off? I thought Ryloth didn’t pick sides.”

“She’s Leia,” Rose replied.
“She is, indeed,” Poe reenforced as I grinned, I was beginning to think there truly was nothing my mother couldn’t do.
“I’m sending BB-8 the coordinates now.”
I watched as the coordinates appeared on the display screen, Poe examined them, “This says head for the outermost moon. Is that correct?”
“Ambassador Yendor has asked our starfighters to meet there. Once everyone’s collected, he’ll bring you in under cover.”
“Ah,” he said, “So we’re not officially on Ryloth.”

“It’s a bit of a stealth mission. The government knows we’re here but they can’t acknowledge us. We’re working directly with the Ryloth Defense Authority.”
“The Ryloth Defense Authority? I don’t know what that is, but it sounds promising.” Poe said, I heard just an ounce of hope in his voice for the first time in a while.
“Leia can explain once you guys are here. Any word from the rest of your Black Squadron?”

“Negative,” he answered, “But we’re just clearing planet orbital space. We’ll follow up with Black Teams One and Two shortly and give them the coordinates.”
“Affirmative. Leia also wants you to follow up with Inferno Squadron and give them the coordinates, too.”
“We will.” I replied.
“Great. See you soon.”
“Out,” Poe said before ending the transmission, “If I haven’t ever said it, your mother is incredible.”

“I’m pretty sure you sing her praises in your sleep,” I jested, earning a pinch to my side.

“BB-8, open a secure channel to Black Team One.” Poe directed.
After a few seconds waiting, Snap’s voice came through, “Is that you, Poe? Y/n? Everything okay?”
“All good, here, Snap.” Poe stated, “Checking in on the status of your mission and to give you coordinates to a meeting place.”
There were muffled curses through the speaker of the ship followed by a voice shouting “Yes!”. Snap followed, “Copy that, Poe. And your timing is excellent. Karé and I have left Akiva with Norra and Wedge in hand.”
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“Nothing we couldn’t handle. Some local opposition and some less than effective surface to air cannons. We took care of it.”
“Good to hear,” Poe replied, “And everything’s good with Wedge and…and your mom?”

“Oh, she’s crazy as ever,” Snap laughed, “But aren’t we all these days? It’s her life, right? I’m going to let her live it.”
“I’m glad to hear that, Snap” I smiled, “I’m going to send you the coordinates right now.”

“Received.” he answered after a moment, “I’ll get them to the team. Listen, we’re going to make a couple of detours to see if we can find any of Phantom Squadron still kicking around.”
“Phantom Squadron?” Poe asked, “They haven’t flown together since my mom was still an active pilot.”

“We need people, right?”
I shrugged, “It’s worth a shot, they’d have experience.”

“See, your girlfriend approves. It won’t take long. We’ll see you on Ryloth before you know it.”

Poe chucked under his breath, “Alright, watch your back out there, Snap.”

“Always do.” Snap answered just before Poe ended the communication.
“So are you calling the shots now for my squadron?” Poe asked with a smile.
I snickered, “All I did was endorse the idea. One pilot is enough for me to manage, I don’t need five of you.”
Without even having to ask, Bee started connecting us to Sura and Jess.
“Poe! Y/n!” Sura yelled, causing us to jolt back in our seat, “I can only talk for a sec. Real busy here!”
“What’s going on?” Poe’s voice drained of all humor, “Are you and Jess under fire?”
“Uhh...you could say that.” Suralinda screamed just as the comm ended suddenly.
“Bee,” I hurried, “What happened?”
I don’t know!

“Well, can you reconnect?” Poe cried, nerves had over taken him.
I’m going to try.
“Keep trying,” he replied, “Something’s happening to them, why did I make the call to send them there? I should have-“

“Stop,” I said, attempting to keep my anxiety at bay for Poe’s sake, “We don’t know anything yet. Do not start beating yourself up before we even know what happened.”

He attempted to take some deep breaths as I kept a hand on him, but I didn’t sense his panic decreasing at all. We waited for several minutes, consumed by fear that our friends were dying, until the connection finally went through.
“Poe?” Jess’s voice rang through, “Is that you? Y/n?”

“Jess,” Poe breathed, his body relaxing back into the seat, “Is that you?”

“Oh yeah. I just tagged Suralinda into the ring, so she had to go,” she answered as she panted for breath. There was an unmistakeable roar of a crowd in the background.
“Ring?” I asked, “Jess, where the hell are you?”

“Barterus. Gladiatorial ring. The ex-Imperial Suralinda was looking for? Teza Nasz? She wouldn’t see us unless we bested her greatest warriors in hand-to-hand combat, so Suralinda thought-”
“Fuck,” Poe cursed and threw his head back, “Suralinda thought she’d throw two very much needed Resistance pilots into the death pits of Rattatak for the sake of simply talking to an ex-Imperial who may or may not be of help to us?”
“Well,” Jess responded meekly after a few seconds, “When you put it that way.”
“Get out of there, Jess,” Poe ordered, “It’s not worth losing either one of you. We need you flying for Black Squadron more than we need this Teza Nasz.”
“Yeah, I’m afraid it’s a little too late for that, Poe. The Rattataki don’t take kindly to quitters. It’s sort of a win-or-die situation. But don’t worry. We got this in hand. Oh!”
There was a crash in the background and the sound of a vibro-ax being charged up. It was going to be harder now to reassure Poe that everything was going to be fine…
“I’m up! Gotta go, don’t worry!”
“BB-8 is going to send coordinates for our rendezvous point,” I said, “Get there in one piece as soon as you can.” 

“Don’t mess around.” Poe said, ”And don’t die! That’s an order.
“Order received!” Jess announced before disconnecting the communication properly.
“Insanity…” Poe grumbled, though I couldn’t help myself from laughing, “Something funny?”

“I’m sorry,” I said in between my giggles, “I really hope you appreciate that the rest of your squadron are just as hotheaded as you are.”

He sighed irritatedly at me before I felt his chest begin to rumble with laughter. For just a few brief seconds, everything felt okay. Sitting in Poe’s lap, flying together and laughing.
“We need to make one last call,” I said, asking Bee to put it through.
“Shriv here.”

“Shriv,” Poe greeted, “It’s Poe and Y/n, how’s your mission going?
“Oh, you know,” he answered, ”Lots of flying around and getting doors slammed in our faces. But we did find a couple of old friends of the Rebellion. I think Leia will be pleased.”
“I’m sure she will. We’re headed for Ryloth,” I spoke up, “Does Inferno Squad feel like joining?”

“Absolutely.”

“Great. We’re sending the coordinates now.” Poe replied as he pressed the button.

Shriv answered soon after, “Received. We’re on our way.”
“See you there,” I said and ended the transmission, “Well, that’s a little bit of good news.”
“Yeah,” Poe adjusted a control before asking Bee to jump to lightspeed, "We’re going to need a lot more of it though.”
————
We were one of the thirteen ships that landed on Ryloth in the middle of the night. I was happy to see as many ships as that in the hanger when Poe and I dismounted, it was a good start. He was the first one to spot Mom,
“Leia!” he called out and we jogged across the hanger to get to her. Even though I’d known she was safe on Ryloth, I couldn’t relax until I’d actually seen her with my own eyes.
“Commander,” she said with a nod to Poe. He was so embarrassed by his casualness that he hadn’t even realized that she’d called him ‘Commander’ again.
“General,” he greeted again as he blushed, “Sorry for the informality. Just glad to see you again.”
“I’m glad to see you, too, Poe. You too, Commander Solo,” she said, with a wink directed towards me, “Walk with me and tell me what we have.” I’d have to ask her later what we’d done to earn our titles back.
We made our way through the hanger and explained as many people as we could.
“The two pilots there you know from Black Squadron, Jessica Pava and Suralinda Javos.” Poe pointed towards the duo, plus a recently added third person, “The woman with them is ex-Imperial-officer Teza Nasz. They found her on Rattatak after fighting in the death pits.”
Sura and Jess looked…well, they could’ve looked worse. Jess’s dark hair was matted with blood, Sura had a few bruises and her lip was split. Teza Nasz was easily the most intimidating person I’d ever seen in my life. She wore a one-shouldered jumpsuit made up of various animal skins and mismatched pieces of armor. There were lines that were cut into her arm, no doubt by a knife and she had dark red dreadlocks down her back.
“That warlord is ex-Imperial?” Mom asked, I could hear her stifling a laugh.
Poe explained her backstory and how she’d been an officer in the Imperial Navy, strategist in the Battle of Jakku and was assumed dead shortly after. Suralinda and her had known each other at some point.
Mom was thinking it all over, “Well, she looks like a warrior, not a strategist, but perhaps I shouldn’t judge by looks alone. If she dropped off New Republic scopes that thoroughly and was able to rise to power on Rattatak, she’s probably both. What’s her name, again?”
“Teza Nasz,” I answered at the exact moment the warlord turned around and locked eyes with Mom. There was some sort of silent standoff between the two of them, they were both powerful in their own right. Only once Nasz turned away first did we continue our discussion.
“Who else?” Mom asked before a voice called her name. We turned to see a young girl behind us eagerly waiting to shake Mom’s hand.
“It’s good to finally meet you in person, Zay,” she greeted, “Where’s Shriv?”
“Over here,” the Duros said, walking up to join us. “Good to see you General.”

Shriv had been a Rebellion, now Resistance, fighter. He’d seen everything from the Battle of Endor to the Battle of Jakku during the old days. If you wanted to hear some good war stories, Shriv was your man. I’d only heard of Zay from my mother, I knew that she was recently orphaned and an excellent pilot. Naturally her story tugged at my heart.
After we’d caught up and Shriv had excused himself, Mom asked Zay if they’d located anyone. We made our way over to the civilian transport where she said she thought we’d be happy with what we found. She also filled us in on what had gone on during their mission. Once she got to the point where they were unable to locate many of the people they’d been trying to find, I decided to jump in.
“Maz told us something similar,” I said, “It seems like they’ve disappeared.”

“What does it mean?” Zay asked.
“The First Order, most likely,” Poe answered, “If we know about these potential allies, so do they. They’re just getting to them first.”

We made our way to the transport and took a look at the group. There were two native Twi’lek’s handing out hot towels and water to our allies, everyone was in their own conversations that seemed to die as they noticed Mom’s presence. A single figure broke apart from the small crowd and began walking toward us.
“This is-“ Zay began to say.
“I know who this is,” Mom said quietly before greeting the older man, “General Rieekan.”

As they embraced, I finally placed where I’d heard the name. He’d been a General during the Rebellion, working closely with my mother on Hoth and everywhere else the Rebellion had taken them. Poe, Zay and I broke away from them to let the two old comrades catch up.
“I can’t believe you and Shriv found him,” I patted Zay on the shoulder, “Good job.”

“Thanks,” she beamed at me, before her eyes caught my lightsaber on my hip, “Wait, you’re Commander Solo.”
“Last time I checked.”
“You’re a legend!”

Poe and I exchanged a confused look before I turned back to the girl, “How so?”

“Crait! You took on Kylo Ren all by yourself!” Zay exclaimed, her hands flying to her head, “It’s all over the galaxy how you battled each other. A-And then I heard Luke Skywalker showed up and the two of you fought together. Oh man, I can’t believe I’m actually talking to you!”
How the hell had that story gotten out? I assumed that moment would live and die on Crait, maybe it would spread slowly through the Resistance. I didn’t think I would turn into a galaxy-wide tale. Much less, that it would be told falsely with the embellished storyline that my uncle and I had fought together. I wished that was the truth.
“Well,” I awkwardly smiled, “That’s not entirely true.”

Zay’s face fell as if I’d just crushed some dream of hers, “So you didn’t battle Kylo Ren?”

“Well,” I rubbed the back of my neck, “I did, but-“

“So you are a hero!” she grinned before excitedly shaking my hand, “I can’t tell you how excited I am to meet a real live Jedi knight!”
I could tell I wasn’t going to get in a word edgewise, the girl already looked up to me seemingly. But I felt unnerved at the thought that I was letting someone else think I was a hero. Heroes didn’t lead mutinies and they certainly didn’t get their soldiers killed.
Shouts began to rise behind us in the hanger, we turned to see a crowd was beginning to form. I could clearly hear the punches that were being thrown.
“A fight!” Zay excitedly shouted.
Poe, Shriv and I ran off together to see what was going on. I should’ve known things were going just a little too well to continue that way.
————
A/N: Fun Fact: The conversation between Zay and the reader is based on the ending of TLJ with the three kids reenacting the lightsaber fight. As always, thank for all the support on this series! I’m having the best time writing it 🖤
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cinna-wanroll · 5 years ago
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*Is not writing the Obitine novel since apparently Disney cant fit it into their schedule*
That was a lie, in case you hadn’t already guessed lol. Anywho, here’s an excerpt from the first chapter since I’ve been a bit slow on uploading any original content. Keep in mind that this is a first draft, so I’ll probably end up editing it later
“Hey, buddy,” Vos clapped him on the shoulder enthusiastically. 
“Hello, Quin,” Obi-Wan offered the Kiffar a good-natured smile and continued his walk. 
“Off to the races again already, I hear,” Quinlan continued, following his friend. 
Obi-Wan cocked a suspicious brow, “Yes,” he kept his tone mild, almost adding ‘unfortunately’ to the end of his sentence, “who told you?”
Quin shrugged and turned, beginning to walk backwards casually, “Oh, you know, my usual informants. Word travels fast around these parts, especially if you’ve got connections.”
Obi-Wan grinned disbelievingly, “Mm.”
“So,” his friend gave him a little nudge as he pivoted back around, “who’s this lady you’re off to rescue, hmm?” He waggled his eyebrows.
Obi-Wan hated to admit it,, but Quinlan was actually quite charming, so he let the insinuation slide. 
“The duchess of Mandalore.”
Vos’ eyebrows shot up in disbelief, “The duchess?” Quin repeated in shock, “Damn, Obi-Wan. Aren’t people like her, like, hardcore Jedi haters or somethin’?”
Obi-Wan shook his head, “Not anymore, since the treaty of Kal’desh almost 82 years ago,” he cast a pointed gaze at the Kiffar who he’d obviously lost at the word ‘treaty’, “You’d know this if you’d paid any attention in Galactic History. 
Quinlan grinned, “Hey, I passed that class.”
“Only because you bribed Bant with Gumbah pudding for a month and a half.”
“Whatever, man.”
Obi-Wan smiled adding, “Not to mention, she’s supposedly the leader of some pacifist group there. The New Mandalorians.”
Quinlan wrinkled his nose, “Sounds like a bunch of nonsense to me. Nothing ever got done by pacifist legions in the past- at least not anything that lasted longer than a couple of years. This galaxy needs structure, not some peaceful delusionists. Besides, how peaceful can a Mandalorian organization be?”
Obi-Wan pursed his lips and looked down, forced to admit he’d thought the same things. How peaceful was a group that’d managed to stay alive among even the harshest of cultural climates? Obi-Wan was guessing not very peaceful at all. 
“I’m not sure, but Master Windu said that this mission is of utmost importance.”
Quinlan sniffed, “Yeah, to his paycheck, probably.”
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, “Quinlan, you know Jedi don’t get paid.”
“Most Jedi. I’m just saying, those council members always seem to be a little concerned with issues outside the Republic, than with issues at home.”
Obi-Wan grimaced- he and Vos had never agreed on that particular subject, “We are defenders of the galaxy, Quin.”
His friend shrugged again, changing his tone immediately and smiling, “Yeah, well, just don’t fall too in love with her, mmkay? She might chop that pretty little head of yours off for peace”
“Isn’t that technically what we do sometimes?” Obi-Wan made a pained expression, despite the fact that he was willing to admit it. There was just something about it that made him feel guilty. 
“Yeah, but at least we’re upfront about it.”
“And who’s to say they’re not?”
“Fair enough.”
They walked in companionable silence for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts.
Although unlikely friends at first glance, Obi-Wan and Quinlan actually got along quite well. They were both calculated, witty, mischievous, and sarcastic fighters with a knack for getting themselves in trouble. 
 Except while Quinlan owned up to causing his antics, Obi-Wan was always the unfortunate person who could be convinced to join in for a cause when things were already taking a turn for the worst. 
They stepped up to the entrance of the mess hall, which was bustling with masters and padawans alike cramming generous heapfuls of muja muffins and mist-pudding onto their trays. 
“Mm-mm,” Quin rubbed his hands together, “I am starving!”
Obi-Wan couldn’t help but nod eagerly in agreement, eyeing the tantalizing food as a group of creche students passed them. 
He wasn’t surprised to spot Qui-Gon at the very front of the extensive line, on time for the food, of course. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes.
“Good morning, boys.”
Obi-Wan turned around towards the direction of the voice, lighting up.
A familiar emerald face greeted him, serene and kind. 
Quin turned his head to her as well, “Mornin’ Luminara.”
Obi-Wan bowed and nodded towards the food line. 
“Can you believe this?”
Luminara smiled faintly and sniffed, peering in, “On buffet day? Certainly.”
“Aka the only day they serve real food in this Force-forsaken place,” Vos chimed in.
Obi-Wan and Luminara shared a look, but inside Obi-Wan couldn’t help but agree.
The Temple was many things, but it definitely wasn’t a diner. 
“What do you think our chances are of paying off some people at the front for their spots?” The Kiffar queried, gazing back at Obi-Wan and Luminara for suggestions. 
“Oh?” Obi-Wan couldn’t help the sarcasm that snuck into his tone, “and with what credits do you intend to do that?” 
“Dunno. I was thinking more… services,” Quin countered.
 Just as Obi-Wan was about to ask what services Vos was implying, Luminara interjected, “At this point, I doubt we’d even get close enough to the masters at the front of the line without being taken away.” 
Obi-Wan nodded as he followed her gaze to where a group of large, burly-looking masters stood glaring at the passerby. It looked like they hadn’t gotten their caff yet that morning. He gulped.
“Luminara’s right, Quin, we should forget it and wait until the line dies down.”
His friend glanced over at him, “Don’t you have to leave by then?”
Obi-Wan drew in a sharp breath as Luminara frowned.
“What? You’re leaving again?”
He nodded, glaring daggers at Vos and refsing to look at Luminara. 
“Yes, I was just notified about it this morning. Had I known sooner, I would’ve told you.”
“And yet Quin knows,” she quipped, narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms indignantly.
“I’m tellin’ you people, I’ve got connections,” Vos emphasized, leaning against the entrance wall. 
Ignoring the Kiffar, Luminara began, “They’re over-working you again.”
Obi-Wan threw Quinlan an accusatory look that was responded to with a simple ‘here we go again’ eyeroll.
“It’s not fair to you, or to the other padawans who want mission opportunities. They want and deserve experience too! I cannot understand why the council is doing this. My suggestion would be-” she was cut off by an approaching figure, which turned out to be her master. 
Obi-Wan winced.
“Padawan Unduli, do you really think your time is best spent here, dawdling with these hooligans?”
Obi-Wan disregarded the snide comment, instead trying to throw an apologetic gaze at his friend. Although out of the corner of his eye he saw Quinlan bristle at the remark.
Luminara bowed and lowered her head, “No, master.”
“Then come along, it’s no wonder you’re always hungry.”
She followed obediently, but not before shooting Obi-Wan and Quinlan a sad, apologetic gaze as she left.
Quin snarled when they were out of earshot, “Now there’s someone I’d like to pay off. With a good kick in the-”
“Vos,” Obi-Wan chided sternly. 
His friend huffed and glowered, “What?”
“Don’t be crass. At least, not this early in the morning.”
 Quin shrugged and rolled his eyes, finally stepping away to look for an open table. 
“Besides,” Obi-Wan added while following, “I’m pretty sure you’’l have plenty of chances to do that when I’m gone, and am unable to provide you with proper impulse control.”
Quin laughed.
“Nah, it’s not as much fun without someone there sassing me.”
He returned his friend's cheerful look, “That’s a fair point.”
Luckily for the pair, Obi-Wan spotted a good amount of free space beside Qui-Gon, mostly because his master had a reputation of being a messy eater- not to mention, he had taken two trays. 
“Bingo,” Obi-Wan grinned at Vos.
The two padawans approached Jinn and sat beside him, Obi-Wan respectfully nodding while Quinlan eyed the food on the second tray. 
“Hello, master,” Obi-Wan greeted. 
“Hello, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon replied after swallowing a mouthful of food. He took a swig of blue milk and then turned to acknowledge Quin, “Padawan Vos.”
The Kiffar snapped his gaze away from the food, nodding quickly.
“So,” Obi-Wan began, “are there any other details I should be aware of during this mission?” 
Jinn turned his full attention on Obi-Wan, “The duchess is young- about your age, I believe. She’s said to be stubborn but kind, with a deep passion for all living things… much like someone else I know.” A playful spark lit up Qui-Gon’s eyes, something about them very knowing. 
Obi-Wan did his best to concentrate on what his master was saying instead of Vos’ waggling eyebrows and his hand, which swiped a biscuit from Qui-Gon’s tray. He nodded, encouraging his master to continue.
“She’s also just returned home from a political academy located here. But most importantly, she probably won’t take kindly to our help. This mission was administered by her advisor, not her. And, despite the current peace, I’m sure she hasn’t been brought up in an environment that is… encouraging of the Jedi.”
Point two, Quinlan grinned like a fool as he stole a piece of meat of Jinn’s tray. 
“Not to mention,” Qui-Gon continued, oblivious, “her father was a warlord.” 
Oh, Force. Suddenly, Obi-Wan was a whole lot less enthusiastic about this whole thing, and that wasn’t saying much considering his attitude towards it was already pretty negative. 
He had to protect a war-monger’s daughter? Perfect.
“Wow,” Vos mused, “talk about impressing the father in-law,” he chuckled as Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan turned to glare at him, “she better be really worth it Obi-Wan. Is she at least ho-”
He was interrupted by Qui-Gon’s harsh tone, “her father is dead, padawan Vos.”
“Oh,” Quinlan replied faintly, looking down, “my condolences.”
Qui-Gon shook his head and turned back to Obi-Wan, “All in all, our goal is to be an unseen protection service. After all, we don’t want her getting into more trouble just because we put her off.”
“Why is it that we don’t want her getting into any more trouble, master?” Obi-Wan asked, frowning slightly.
Qui-Gon mirrored his expression, “Because, padawan, she requested our help.”
“I thought her advisor was the one who requested our help,” Obi-Wan retorted under his breath, although he knew he shouldn't've. Although he was surprised to admit to himself that he didn’t quite care- after all, the burly masters in line weren’t the only ones who hadn’t had their caff yet.
 Qui-Gon’s frown deepened, “She is her people’s last hope for peace and civility, Obi-Wan. And you will do best not to question her, our assignment, or the council again.”
Obi-Wan looked away dejectedly, “Yes, master.”
He left out any remarks he could’ve made about Qui-Gon doing both of the aforementioned things constantly. 
“Now, just let me finish my-,” Qui-Gon turned to his practically empty tray, where Vos had mysteriously disappeared, and sighed.
Obi-Wan stifled a chuckle, leaving behind only a mischievous sparkle  in his grey-blue eyes. 
“Master?” He asked, encouraging Qui-Gon to wrap up his thought. 
“Let’s just be on our way then, Obi-Wan.”
They rose and exited the mess hall, out into the long corridors and what would be a much more eventful trip than what young Obi-Wan was expecting. 
╭━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━╮
The temple docking bay was huge, containing as large as a republic freighter to as small as a landspeeder. 
 Droids whizzed about everywhere, attending to some business or another. A few officials or Jedi stood out against the field of endless gleaming metal, but besides that there was nothing else living operating within the place. 
Enormous ceilings towered over Obi-Wan’s head as his master led him through the maze of docking bays and landing platforms, until they finally reached a small doorway towards the back. 
A droid met them there to provide them with a datapad of information on the ship; mostly a run-down of the controls and its condition. 
Qui-Gon nodded in satisfaction, “Everything seems to be in order here.” He handed it back to the droid, who whisked it away immediately.
“How long will our journey be, master?” Obi-Wan inquired, hoping he didn’t sound whiny. 
“Not very long. About six standard hours, providing there aren't any hyperspace issues.”
Obi-Wan nodded, stepping out of the doorway and into the bright light of Coruscant. 
The ship was a pretty good size; a standard model with red stripes running along its sides. 
The Trial, curious. Obi-Wan didn’t pay ship names much mind, but that was just rather odd. 
Qui-Gon went to go check with the official while Obi-Wan spotted Quinlan leaning against a couple of crates near the door. 
“Vos? How did you know this is where I’d be?”
“Relax man, I just came to say goodbye before you left to go out and find your true love or whatever.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
Vos grinned and pulled him into a tight hug, Obi-Wan squirming beneath him.
“Stop that,” he said, finally managing to push his friend back.
“Was Qui-Gon pissed about his food?” Quin asked, gazing hopefully to where Obi-Wan’s master and the other man were still conversing.
“Probably, although not any more than me- I still haven’t had any food yet.” His stomach growled, as if to prove a point.
“Eh, you snooze you lose.”
Obi-Wan grimaced as Vos began to saunter away, his finally parting words being, “Later, buddy! Don’t, like, become a father or anything while you’re gone- I’d hate to miss that.”
Eyeroll. “Goodbye, Vos!”
He shook his head at the sound of his friend’s distant laughter, pacing over to Qui-Gon without so much as a glance backwards. 
“Is everything alright, master?”
“Yes, just making conversation while you and Quinlan said your goodbyes.”
So he did know. Well, that showed Obi-Wan not to underestimate his master. 
“Then lets away.”
Obi-Wan nodded to the man and walked up the ramp into the ship, glancing back at the gleaming building one last time before he took a seat in the cockpit, not even bothering to explore the rest of the ship. He already knew what this model’s interior looked like, and wanted to get this assignment over with as quickly as possible.
Later, Obi-Wan found irony in that wish as he sat in the exact same seat upon the departure of his mission, where the room and his heart had seemed a lot more empty. 
Qui-Gon sat beside him, taking control and handing Obi-Wan the mission log from earlier. 
“What am I to do with this?” He asked, frowning at the tablet-like device. 
“Make notes of the journey,” Qui-Gon replied, “the council emphasized everything is to be included, and since I can’t ever seem to write it the way they want, I thought I’d have you do it.”
“But-”
“Do you have something more productive you could be doing, padawan?”
He shook his head and took the log obligingly without further complaint. It was light in his hands, and he placed it in his lap as he strapped himself in. 
“Our belongings have already been loaded on, everything is in order,” Qui-Gon said, still fiddling with the ship’s settings. 
“Do we have any food?” Obi-Wan asked hopefully. 
Qui-Gon nodded, “It’s back in the kitchen area. Why didn’t you eat earlier?”
Obi-Wan scoffed, “You saw the line, right?”
“You snooze, you lose.”
Obi-Wan sighed, “How about caff?”
Qui-Gon shook his head no, and Obi-Wan deflated. 
“Something tells me that despite my hopes, this is going to be a very long couple of months,” Obi-Wan pouted, leaning his head back against the seat. 
Qui-Gon smiled, “You’re such a pessimist, Obi-Wan. Ready?”
Obi-Wan nodded, “I suppose.”
“Good. Then let’s get this show on the road.”
The ship lifted off, soared out of the atmosphere and into space, and Obi-Wan made sure to note in his report that Qui-Gon forgot which lever to guide forward for hyperspace. When he did find it, darkness and impossibly bright specks of light blended together, and they rocketed forwards before coasting through space, towards destiny. 
81 notes · View notes
vin-taege · 6 years ago
Text
decaf (m)
summary: taehyung was the cute barista who hated caffeine, yet worked at a coffee shop. you’re a semi-organized college student who’s always late to lectures.
genre: smut, fluff, pwp
pairing: barista!Taehyung x reader
words: 8k+
warnings: baby boy!Taehyung, femdom, accidental nudes, mentioned masturbation, pain kink, grinding, dry humping, oral sex, thigh-riding, fingering, dirty talk, overstimulation, degradation, newly discovered mommy kink
note: now freshly edited
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Mr. Min’s history class was supposed to be five minutes ago, and the twenty-six year old with the mindset of an eighty-year old hated tardy students. However, you figured you were already late, so why not stop over at the café to pick up your breakfast (which you would also serve as your lunch)? Late nights of completing last minute essays and studying for exams due in two weeks’ time brought you closer to the staff. They’d fix you a small sandwich and a cup of coffee with just one text from you the night before.
Usually, the person in-charge of “VIP” breakfast duty was Kim Taehyung, not that he complained.
It wasn’t like the staff assigned him the task on purpose. There was no way the whole staff knew of his huge, in-depth crush on you and used this as an opportunity to bring you close together.
The bell rang lightly, alerting the arrival of a new customer. Taehyung looked up from behind the counter, almost dropping the sugar packets Jimin had asked him to find. Half of your hair was tossed up in a messy bun, the other half in tangles around your face. One backpack strap was slung over your shoulder, your fluffy hoodie underneath.
Jungkook almost groaned at the heart-eyes his co-worker made for you if it wasn’t for the long line of business men and office workers getting more impatient by the second. Jimin rushed over to Taehyung, visibly distressed with his lack of sugar packets, when he saw who the younger boy was looking at. With a sigh, he grabbed the brown paper back containing your food for the day, and shoved it against the blue-haired boy.
You have been doing this exact routine for almost two years, steadily building up your relationship with the barista. It was so refreshing seeing a friendly face outside of your usual college peers. You friends are deeply loved and appreciated, but seeing them also reminds you of the copious amount of essays all due within the same week. 
“Good morning!” You have Taehyung a close-lipped smile, still a bit groggy from your late-night study session.
“H-hey, beautiful! I just re-heated your food five minutes ago, so it should still be warm. Thought you would’ve been absent today,” he handed you the paper bag, boxy smile not leaving his face. “Overslept?”
You hummed, taking in the scent of toasted bread, gouda cheese, and bacon. “Unfortunately. Mr. Min would have to endure the catastrophe of my presence being unable to grace his lecture hall,” You threw a hand dramatically over your forehead, ignoring the looks you got from the other customers. After all, you didn’t have to wait in line.
A chuckle rumbled from his throat. “Don’t forget your coffee. I have a feeling you’re gonna need it.”
“That feeling is correct, my good friend. I wouldn’t hold you any longer- don’t want Namjoon scolding you about professionalism again,” you waved him goodbye, exiting the café with the same light bell ring behind you.
You debated running to catch up to at least the last bits of the lecture, but your rough morning rendered your body sluggish, and you ended up walking anyway. Even when you knocked on the door, your professor gave you a pointed glare, to which you returned a sheepish smile to. Fortunately, there was still a free seat near the middle.
Half of the lecture already passed by, but you knew Seulgi would be more than happy to lend you notes. Not that she could say no to you or avoid you, since you dormed with her.
Taking the sandwich out of the paper bag, you realized Taehyung must’ve mistakenly packed two. It was risky to spend excess money on an extra sandwich, especially with rent day coming up, but looking closely into the bag, you were relieved you didn’t have to.
“On me :)” was written on a yellow post-it note, neatly placed on top of the second sandwich. Subconsciously, you smiled, taking a mental note to thank Taehyung later. Min didn’t really mind students eating in class - he did it himself. So, unabashedly, you tucked into the bacon and gouda cheese, while taking notes.
Halfway through, you caught a glimpse of a string of black ink scrawled onto the side of your coffee cup. You put your pen down and turned the cup over, revealing a phone number and a small message under it. “Text me when you’re free, beautiful.”
“___, I would appreciate it if you found my class more interesting than your coffee cup. I already took marks off you for being tardy, don’t make me do it again,” you looked up to see Min staring straight at you. Blushing, you mumbled out a small apology, though it wasn’t your professor that got you flustered, but a certain blue-haired barista.
 “You gave her what?!” Taehyung was ready to rip his hair out, or even fight Jimin at the café parking lot right there, right now, maybe even both. The older barista looked at him over his phone, lollipop still in-between his lips.
“I did you a favour,” he took the candy out with a pop. “I swear, if you silently pine over her for even one more minute, Jungkook will leap over that counter and punch the glass,” he punctuated, jabbing the lollipop at the wide, glass panes of the café.
“Oh my God, she’s going to think I’m some freaky weirdo,” Taehyung muttered, head still in his hands. “Even worse, a stalker.”
Jimin was drowning out the younger one’s ramblings, opting to check his watch instead. Fifteen minutes until break was over. He looked over to Taehyung again, sighing when he still heard his panicked mumbling.
“Tae, nothing bad’s going to happen. You could just tell her I was the one who wrote it, if you want to,” he rolled his tongue over the hardened sugar, artificial coffee flavour washing over his taste buds. “I don’t think you need to though. She definitely likes you back.”
Taehyung’s eyes lit up. He immediately stopped, standing straight. “You think so? I mean, I always knew she was nice to me, but I thought she was nice to everyone, so I didn’t assume-“
“Literally everyone in the café knows about your unspoken mutual pining for each other,” He offered the lollipop to Taehyung. The younger one grimaced at the spit-covered candy and shook his head. “Funny for a person who dislikes coffee to be working in a coffee shop.”
“It has your saliva on it.”
“If it had her saliva on it, you’d bite the whole thing off in a heartbeat,” Taehyung sputtered, making the older boy smirk. “Wow, you’re into that? Kinky boy.”
“Hyung!”
Before Taehyung could further protest, he felt his phone buzz. He shot Jimin a glare before holding a finger up. Confusion, excitement, then an arrow to the heart; Taehyung jolted up, even surprising Jimin himself. “What? What is it?” he moved to glance at the younger barista’s phone, lips curling into a pleased smirk when he saw what was on the screen.
[unknown]: hi it’s ___ :)
[unknown]: thanks for the extra sandwich btw, I really appreciate it
Jimin patted him on the back, words of congratulations flowing through one ear straight out the other. He couldn’t focus on anything else aside from the two texts – both of them already making his day better.
 [cutie barista dude]: hey
[cutie barista dude]: it’s Tae from the café
[cutie barista dude]: u could call me café Tae lol
[cutie barista dude]: or not
[cutie barista dude]: are u busy?
Seulgi puckered her lips, smacking them before squinting harder at the lit screen. “Oh no, honey. He’s a multi-texter. Seems like the clingy type. And ‘café Tae’, really?”
Letting out a sigh, you rolled your eyes at her. “He’s nice. He makes me breakfast almost every day, and he’s actually pretty cute.” Stunning. Awe-striking. Breath-taking. Ethereal. ‘Cute’ was an understatement for this boy’s beauty.
“Just because a man makes you scrambled eggs, doesn’t mean you automatically jump on that dick and ride it into the sunset,” you almost spit your food out, hand thumping your chest to ease the chewed lump down. Seulgi didn’t even bat an eyelash.
“I don’t even like my eggs scrambled.”
“Oh, right. You like them fertilized,” In a blink of an eye, a notebook smacked her straight in the face. A scream of frustration left her, along with whines of how long it took her to do her makeup. Before she had a chance to pry your phone of your hands, you quickly replied.
To [cute barista dude]: nope. We’re on break :)
If you could only see Taehyung now, you’d realize how much of an impact you had on him. It was the café’s dead hours, or the short time frame where there were only one or two customers in the shop, giving the staff a breather. It was during this time almost the entirety of the staff were crammed inside the cleaning closet, circling around Taehyung, and egging him on to ask you out.
And if he only saw you right now, he’d realize how much of an impact he had on you.
It was Hyuna’s threat that got him to pressed send, “Kim Taehyung, if you won’t make a move on her, I will!”
[cute barista dude]: oh, in that case, do you want to maybe hang out tonight?
This time, Seulgi raised an eyebrow, her lips curling into a smirk. She hummed, drumming her fingers on the social science notebook you threw on her. “I don’t know about you, but if this boy’s as pretty as you say he is, I wouldn’t pass the opportunity up.”
It was rare whenever you listened to Seulgi, since she’s the personification of bad advice. However, she had a point; you were in dire need of a break, maybe even a boyfriend.
You typed in a small text confirming you were available, before standing up to go to your next lecture. Though you were roommates, you only shared one lecture hall with Seulgi – history. She walked next you in the hallways, still gushing about your “mini impromptu date” tonight.
“Just know that I’ll be holed up in my room all night. We have a thesis defense in three days, so if you want to take him out for a ride, don’t do it in our dorm.” she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, making you laugh.
 Taehyung was a nervous wreck. Maybe Jimin was right about him turning into a walking nervous system whenever he was with you. He didn’t even know what got into him, or where he got the sudden burst of confidence from.
All he knew was that it worked; because somehow, you were in his house, pressed against him, eating pizza while some surprisingly well-produced horror movie played in the background. You munched contentedly on your slice, snuggling into the warmth radiating from the lean boy.
“You know, when you said ‘hang out’, I expected like a park, or a restaurant. What I got was way better,” you smiled up at him.
Taehyung had to pretend his heart didn’t just sink, then explode back to life in a matter of milliseconds. “I was a little stumped with what movie to pick. Couldn’t choose between,” he took a glance at the DVD cover. “- El Orfanato and Your Name.”
“Your Name? Didn’t take you for a romance-anime type of guy.”
“My co-worker is. I saw it once with him, and it was really good though,” He shuffled closer to you, pulling the blanket over your bodies. You shifted in your seat, turning your body so you laid on top of him.
It was silent for a while. The only sound was the occasional Spanish from the film and your soft breathing. The fact that it wasn’t the usual rom-com or shallow-plotted movie – the usual picks for Netflix and Chill – really shed a light on how Taehyung genuinely wanted you to unwind with him, and not just get into your pants.
The movie itself was actually interesting. Knowing Taehyung was someone who had a passion for arts and photography, you didn’t expect any less from his taste.
“How did you find this film?” you murmured into his t-shirt. He shrugged, trembling fingers tapping rhythmically on your back.
“Watch Mojo list,” you threw your head back in laughter, him giggling with you.
“Heathen,” you managed to say in between breaths. “And I thought you were a man of class.”
“God forbid I actually take you out based on a Watch Mojo video. I like underrated films, the type that isn’t easy to find. I thought you might’ve wanted to take a break from cheap jumpscares and slasher gore.”
You hummed, “This is a nice change. I could get used to you taking me out.”
Red blossomed from his cheeks, heart soaring at the implication. “Oh, how convenient. I could get used to that too.” He cleared his throat, trying to meet your sparkling eyes. “Maybe I should start making you lunch too, aside from breakfast.”
“Like a date?”
The cola burned his nasal cavities, some of it spewing out his nose and mouth when he quite literally choked on it. Hurriedly, you thumped his back, voicing out your concern as he coughed his lungs out. Taehyung wished the ground would just swallow him whole. There was cola over his shirt and hands. Not to mention, half of his face was a sticky mess. He groaned, covering his face in shame.
“I’m sorry. That was very disgusting, I’m so sorry,” he sounded like he was about to cry.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay, really. Are you okay now?”
He gave a half-hearted nod. “Can we just pretend that never happened?”
You took some tissue from your bag and started wiping his face. Although it was pretty funny, you gave into him – you will never speak of the incident.
“Were you serious about going on a date with me?” he asked bashfully after an awkward period of silence.
“Why not? You’re a great guy, and I’d love to know more about the cute barista making me breakfast each morning. You know, outside your pre-established, in-depth nerd persona,” His mood was quickly lifted, though his smile still didn’t reach his eyes. “I need you to smile for me though.”
“But I am,” he whined. Admittedly, he was still embarrassed by the previous stunt he pulled. Fortunately, you could see right through him. You pounced at his sides, fingers scrambling all over his tummy. Taehyung yelped, wriggling away from you. Even though he was half your size, and can easily push you off, he decided to let you have your fun.
In the midst of trying to tickle him, you pressed your palm into his crotch, the action going unnoticed as you straddled him. Taehyung however, noticed it all too well. His eyes widened, and he begged himself not to pop a boner with you sitting right on top of him.
He couldn’t forget it, even after you’ve gone home and it was just a black screen on the TV. He couldn’t forget it even as he was cleaning up, finding himself with warm water running down his back, phone placed by the sink, the echo of a slow saxophone beat filling the room.
The heat and thoughts of your hand wrapped around him, mouth taking in his length, sent blood rushing to his head. Your scent still lingered at the back of his mind, pretty eyes looking up at him through your lashes. Jimin would tease him for jacking off just after the first date. Was it even considered a date? After all, he said ‘hang out.’
Nevertheless, he grunted as he wrapped his hand around himself. Placing a steady hand on the shower wall, he shuddered, teasing himself with slow strokes before getting faster and faster. He closed his eyes and leaned into the wall, drowning himself in the thought of you.
Taehyung let out a groan, bucking into his hand. The warm water poured heavily on him as he slowly got closer to release. Chasing his high was an easy task; his mind was filled with thoughts of you moaning as he buried himself deep in you, the way you’d whimper under him, your breathy whines. Pre-cum was steadily flowing out his dick, his fingers getting sticky from it before the water would wash it away.
He let out low grunts, breaths getting heavier. Almost there. Just as he was about to release, the buzzing of his phone cut through the music. Huffing, he thought twice whether to continue or not, but decided against it. The text might’ve been important, especially since Namjoon hinted towards a promotion last week.
Head still reeling from his self-denied orgasm, he clumsily wiped his hands on the towel, hands still slightly wet. He trudged over to the sink, fumbling with his phone. The water dripping off his hands made it difficult to press the right buttons, and after two times of accidentally exiting to the home screen, he heard a camera snap, accompanied by a flash bouncing off the mirror.
“Shit.”
Taehyung put his phone down, thoroughly wiping his hands off this time. As soon as he deemed them dry enough, he checked his messages – only to come close to fainting.
To [Goddess]: photo sent
The picture was slightly blurry, but clear enough to make out what was going on in it. It was a mirror selfie. The flash did a good job of covering his face and most of his shoulders, but not too much of his lower body. His dick, still hard and even redder then before, stood against his stomach, water still dripping off his body.
To [Goddess]: I’m sorry I didn’t mean to do that I swear im not a creep please don’t hate me I fully understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore or if you want to break up with me im so sorry oh my god
To [Goddess]: I mean I assume we’re already together-together?? I don’t know, then again, im so sorry please ignore that picture forever
[Goddess]: seen
Fuck.
He really was the unluckiest guy in the world. The relationship started quickly and ended quickly, all because of a nude. He didn’t even know if he could face you tomorrow when you pick your breakfast up. Fuck indeed.
 On your end, it was definitely a surprise. Shocking? Yes. Unexpected? Definitely – you never would’ve anticipated it from Taehyung. However, unwanted? No. Hard no. As hard as his dick.
He was mouth-watering, a true monster by the sheer size and girth. Your cheeks heated up, tongue flicking over your lips. You clenched your thighs together, trying to seek friction under your flimsy shorts.
You had been snuggled up in bed, a good night text just sent to your possible future boyfriend when he had sent you this gem. You would’ve felt bad for him, the frenzied texts sent immediately after making your heart melt, but you were way too turned on to reply.
The thoughts of his large hands roaming your body, cupping your breasts, distracted you. The thought of him being the dominant one was worth contemplating - if he was, then you’d have no problem switching from time to time. You wanted to ride him, slide down that enormous length. If it looked that big in picture, you couldn’t even imagine its size in the flesh.  
You went to sleep that night tired from the pillow humping, but extremely satisfied with your orgasm. If you only knew Taehyung didn’t get to reach his own, you would’ve laughed; all good things are worth waiting for. You couldn’t wait to have your way with him – he was a strong baby boy, you could tell just from how pliant he was when it came to you.
The reply you typed out was forgotten and left unsent.
 There was no trace of Taehyung the next day. Jungkook was the one to hand over your breakfast, much to your disappointment. No offense to him – you had a soft spot for the kid – but you really wnted to see your starry-eyed boy today.
“Hey where’s Tae?”
Jungkook gave you an uneasy look. Nervously, he glanced towards the back of the room, where the kitchen was. Through the large connecting window, you could see a mop of blue hair weaving in between the metal stands.
“He’s on kitchen duty,” he blurted out, snapping your attention back to him. “I mean, he’s not here. He’s sick. Ask Jimin!”
With that, he chucked the coffee stirrers under the counter and scrambled off. Just as he stepped foot into the kitchen, Jimin went out, mid-yawn in a flour-smeared apron. You smashed the service bell repeatedly. Thank God the café had less people in the morning on Saturdays.
Jimin shot you an exasperated look, begrudgingly trudging over to you. He gave you his best “Employee of the Month” smile. “How may I help you?”
“May I speak to one of your employees at the back?”
“Taehyung is on kitchen duty.”
“Jimin, we both know Taehyung can’t even boil an egg,” you hissed, leaning farther on the counter, your nose almost touching his. Jimin bit his lip – you were right. Why did they even come up with that stupid excuse?
“Okay, fine. As far as I know, he’s beyond humiliated. He thinks you hate him. Ever since this morning, the only thing he’s been talking about is how much he hates his dick.”
You didn’t know whether your heart melted or ached for him. Men, in one way or another, can be adorably stupid and naïve. You tongued your cheek, considering your options. There was the choice of storming in the kitchen right there, right now, to confront Taehyung personally; but you didn’t want that going down your student record, especially since vacation’s just a month away. You muttered a quick thank you, turning to walk back to your dorm.
To [baby boy]: Meet me after your shift. I’ll be staying at my usual spot. Don’t even think of avoiding me.
 Five minutes until the end of his shift, and here Taehyung was; in the bathroom, washing his hands for what will be the fourth time. He was practicing what he was going to say to you, apart from giving himself a tiny pep talk in an attempt to boost his confidence.
Your last text glared at him from the screen. An overwhelming feeling of déjà vu hit him when he found himself in front of the bathroom sink, staring at the mirror again. Three loud knocks on the door made him flinch.
“Lover boy, your girl’s been waiting for you for about two hours now,” Jimin’s voice rang through the other side of the door.
“Just a minute,” The mere thought of him seeing you again just after he sent an unsolicited dick pic made him shiver. Lost in his cluttered thoughts, he didn’t even notice he left the door unlocked.
Jimin pushed open the door, letting out an exasperated sigh when he saw Taehyung looking blankly into the mirror. “For God’s sake, man up and just get it over with.”
When he saw the younger boy’s shoulders slump further, his gaze softened. He didn’t really take Taehyung’s situation seriously, not until he saw how much it upset him.
“Hey,” he walked closer, nudging the tan boy’s elbow. “If she really hated you, she would’ve left an hour ago.”
Taehyung scoffed, though a small smile played on his lips, encouraging Jimin to continue. “We both know ___. If anything, she might’ve thought it was a bit funny. Hell, she might’ve liked it.”
“Hyung!” he was flustered beyond relief, delivering hit upon hit to the older boy. “Don’t say that about her!”
“Just go out there, okay? Sort things out with her.”
He came out in a white undershirt he wore under the cafe’s light beige, long-sleeved uniform. You were down to your third croissant and fourth coffee when he spotted you. The nearer he got, the more he saw cluttered papers spread on he desk, the one you’re working on decorated with different highlighters. Blue for people, yellow for terms, green for dates - you had told him your color legends back then. 
The chair was dragged back, making you flinch in surprise. Taehyung, despite his height, seemed to shrink in his seat. His hands were folded neatly on his lap; you didn’t have to peek under the table to know his legs were spread wide, thick things just barely fitting on the chair space. 
You slid the pastry over to him, capped the highlighter, and melted back into your seat. Your bones let out a satisfying crack when you stretched; Taehyung was right about taking breaks in between study sessions. 
“Hey,” he offered, picking up a fork to lightly stab at the croissant. 
“Are you avoiding me?” His wide eyes met yours, eyebrows knit together. He resorted to lightly scraping at the side of the plate instead. 
“Don’t you find it weird?”
“Find what weird?”
“I don’t know. Maybe how you saw my... thing just hours ago, and now we’re here, pretending everything’s perfectly normal. Don’t you hate me? I literally acted like a fuckboy.”
You snorted, throwing your head back in laughter. He just stared at you in confusion. “No, what the hell? You are the opposite of a fuck boy. And you sent about ten apology texts right after. I know you didn’t do it on purpose.”
“So you’re not mad?” He leaned forward, mouth brought into a pout. Pinching his cheek lovingly, you chuckled. 
“No. We can just pretend it never happened,” You winked, quoting his words from the cola incident. He quickly recognized them, groaning from more embarrassment. 
“Why do you do this to me?” he moaned, but didn’t pull away from your touch. “Is this the karma I get because of that WatchMojo list?”
“You did get it from a WatchMojo list!” you gasped, chucking him a highlighter - which he caught with no problem. “Talk about top ten anime betrayals.”
The atmosphere seemed to relax after that. Taehyung finally began eating the croissant, much to your doting. He sat up straight in his chair, compelled by the need to impress you, while also giving out a “no big deal” attitude. 
The conversation shifted to your current situation at university. You couldn’t resist telling him about your history professor - Mr. Min and his seemingly endless collection of ties, plus rumors of his friends-with-benefits relationship with Mr. Jung, the biology teacher in the next building. 
“Wait but, oh my God, I think he’s actually cool? We were going to watch a film for the whole period, and he accidentally clicked on the wrong thing. And guess what?”
“What?” Taehyung’s eyes were wide like a kid’s in a toy shop.
“It was his mixtape! I swear it was! The guy rapping sounded exactly like him.”
“No way! Isn’t this guy, what, thirty?” He crinkled his nose in disbelief. You waved him to move closer. getting your phone out to show him the video evidence you secretly took. Even if you filmed the whole thing in plain sight, Mr. Min would’ve been too busy frantically pulling every extension cord to notice.
Scrolling through your gallery with Taehyung by your side, you froze, spotting a fresh, all too familiar picture just before the video. You skipped a beat, before swiftly tapping on the video, careful not to tap the nude you saved. Hopefully, Taehyung didn’t see it, the singular picture sitting among other pictures of lectures and notes. 
You pretended to concentrate hard on the video, as if it was the most interesting thing you’ve ever watched. Taehyung leaned closer, his broad chest pressing against a part of your back. You could feel his breath fanning over your neck, the feeling doubling each time he laughed. In a way, it assured you he didn’t see anything. You sunk back into him, trying to get more comfortable.
“He isn’t bad,” he murmured. From the black spaces on the screen, you met his brown eyes, a sultry look hiding behind the mischievous crinkles. You gulped, nervousness starting to crawl its way back in. 
As soon as the video stopped, you locked your phone and shoved it back in your bag. “I just remembered, we actually have a test tomorrow so I better go-”
“Can I come with you?” You stared at Taehyung, mouth hung open. He had a serious expression on, emotions unreadable behind his piercing gaze. “I could help you review.”
“That... wouldn’t be necessary. I could really do it myself. Plus, you look tired and I think you should re-”
“No. I insist,” His lips curled into a smile, almost daring. He leaned closer, lips just centimeters away from your ear. “I think we need to talk some more.”
The ding of the elevator signaled you it was already your floor. Thank God Seulgi was out for a group project tonight. The history test was partly a lie; you definitely remembered, but had already reviewed. Miraculously, you managed to get your sleep schedule under control, while also studying everything you needed to study. Taehyung would be proud.
Speaking of, he has now claimed his spot on your couch, less than gracefully plopping down. At least he had the decency to leave his shoes neatly by the coat rack. 
“So, what’s your topic?” You laid your notebooks down on the table, the post-it notes wedged between the pages almost falling out. You set the table up first, Taehyung’s question dissolving into thin air. Instead, he resorted to flipping through some of the pages, gnawing on his lips with each bit of information he took in. 
“That’s a lot,” His whisper didn’t leave unnoticed. You perked up, flashing him a mocking grin. “I thought you said you insisted?”
Immediately, his face burned red, resembling that of a child whenever he throws a tantrum. “I did! It’s just a lot, okay? Even I don’t take this much notes. How many pens do you go through in a day?”
You rolled your eyes, picked up your self-made flashcards - which really were just small, index cards scrawled on with gel pen - and handed them to Taehyung. “Quiz me with dates first, then we’ll work our way through important people and events.”
He fumbled with the cards for a while, taking a brief glance on each of them, before straightening them out and facing the “answer” sides of the cards away from you. “Great Depression?”
Your pace in answering was pretty quick, so in order to trick him into thinking you’ve just memorized it, you had to slow down, throw a few “uhm’s” and “hm’s”. There were times you’d get a question wrong on purpose to make the act more believable. 
Slowing down the pace wasn’t too difficult too. He was so distracting, in a way. He couldn’t be doing anything and he’d still be the most attractive person in the room. His hair fell lightly by his brows, cheeks full and glowing like his sun-kissed skin. The shirt he wore was a size too large for him, the neckline dipping just above his chest, showing his parts of his collarbones. 
The mass of index cards was thinning out when a particular question snapped you out of your daze.
“What was that picture in your gallery?” Taehyung’s eyes were trained on you, the flashcards still in his hand. You prayed you weren’t blushing right now.
“What picture?”
“The picture. You know what I’m talking about,” His serious expression slowly cracked, a smile coming through, along with a darkening gaze in his eyes. “You saved the picture I sent, didn’t you?”
Before you could think twice about it, you had chucked him a pillow, Taehyung effortlessly dodging it. “No! No, I didn’t! What the hell, Tae?”
Instead, his grin grew wider. He threw the cards on the table, and began crawling near you. You shuffled farther back into the couch, one of the armrests eventually hitting your back. He had you pinned down. 
“I saw it, ___. Don’t even deny it,” He licked his lips, the stupid smirk still on his face. “You liked the picture, didn’t you, ___?”
His voice was low, eyes piercing into your very soul. Instead of replying, you slipped a hand around his nape, bringing him closer then smashing your lips together. His lips felt like cotton on yours, and you treated them as such, licking the soft flesh to ask for permission. 
He parted his lips, granting you access. You let yourself explore the cavern of his mouth, engaging his tongue in a battle of dominance. Naturally, he let you win. You drew back for a split second, only to say, “Little brat.”
You heard him snicker, before connecting your lips once more. You wrapped a leg around his waist, bringing him closer to you. Your hands busied themselves by tangling them in his hair. In all the haze of the steamy kiss, you felt him growing under his pants. 
You pressed your foot more forcefully against him, making his crotch press into yours. The uncomfortableness of his jeans could be felt by how hard his cock was straining against it. You wrapped your other leg around him, then brought your lower half up, grinding straight into his erection. 
He groaned into the kiss, pulling away only to focus on your neck. He left a trail of love bites, hues of purple and blue, coming from your jawline to the base of your neck. You continued grinding into him, with slow, hard rolls of your hips. His head lolled downwards, slotting into the curve of your neck. His increasingly heavy pants could be heard, no matter how hard he tried to conceal them under the guise of nipping on your neck.
A light sheen of sweat was starting to cover you. The leather of the couch felt sticky on your skin, but it felt too good to pull away from. You allowed yourself to let out only a few long, groans, careful not to show him how much you’re loving this.
Your panties already felt soaked. The button of his jeans would get caught in the thin material of your shorts, rubbing against your clit. You jerked into him, borderline humping his boner. 
Somehow, you still had your presence of mind, and you had to remind yourself to calm down. Shakily planting your feet on any flat surface you could feel, you pulled your hips away from him, eliciting a whine from the boy. 
“You look uncomfortable there, sweetheart,” you said, hands working to unbuckle his belt. You took it off, unbuttoning his jeans too. Instead of releasing him already, you slid your hand in his boxers, squeezing the rock-hard length lightly. He screwed his eyes shut, a sigh of relief escaping his lips. 
Your other hand pushed at his chest, steering him into a new position. He sat on the couch, feet planted on the ground while your straddled him. You brought your hips down again, his boxers being the only material separating you from his cock. 
“Help me get this off, baby,” You murmured, about to shrug your shirt off. He shed you off the material at once, flinging it to the side. Then, he started grabbing at your shorts, running his hands around your ass too. With two, swift tugs, your shorts were pooling at you knees. 
As soon as he got them off, he grabbed at your hips, forcing you to grind on his clothed cock again. You slid one of your hands from his hair, touching the broad expanse of his chest, his toned stomach, until you reached his boxers. You slipped your hand, fingers wrapping around his cock, making him gasp into your mouth.
You gave him a couple light strokes, before pressing your hand flat against the head of his cock, then digging your palm into him. He threw his head back in a groan, grip getting looser on your hips until he was back in his original position, head buried in your neck. 
The room felt hotter, more humid even. Taehyung’s hair began to stick to his forehead the more he leaned into your touch. The picture wasn’t lying to - even without seeing him yet, you already knew he was big. His girth alone made it difficult for you to wrap your fingers around the entirety of him. 
Each jerk of his hips into your palm sent more pre-cum dripping out his cock. You angled your hand a little so that you could thumb lightly at his slit, spreading the pre-cum over the head. He was leaking so much that a wet patch started to form on his boxers. You knew the wet fabric sticking to his skin might make him uncomfortable, but you waited before making him take it off. You wanted him to suffer for a bit.
After letting him grind himself into your palm, you switched tactics and instead, gripped the base of his cock, jerking him off rapidly. His whines sent shivers down your spine, made you gush more into your already ruined panties. 
More pre-cum dripped down his cock, coating his entire length. It was easy for you to tug on his cock, but you didn’t want to make him come yet. You retracted your hand, wiping off the slick on his sweat-covered chest. “Take it off.”
He almost fell off the couch in his eagerness to get the fabric off. By the time he did, the mess in his pants was on full display. His cock sprung into his stomach, twitching when air hit it. There was pre-cum reaching until the top of his thighs, smeared all over the area surrounding his dick. 
“Do you want me to clean that up for you?” You purred into his ear. A choked sob made its way out of his abused lips while he profusely nodded. “Sit properly, my messy baby.”
Taehyung got off you, sitting on the couch with his legs spread wide. You placed yourself on the floor, kneeling before him. With one hand, you grasped his leaking cock, licking a strip from his balls up to the tip. He sighed out in relief when you licked the tip, before taking in the head of his cock. 
You sucked hard on his cock, the bitter taste of pre-cum filling your taste buds. He shuddered at the feeling of your warm mouth around him, tongue pressing firmly against his cock. A sudden jerk of his hips sent his cock hitting the back of your throat. 
Gagging, you slapped the inside of his thigh harshly. He whined, murmuring a quick apology. You rolled your eyes at him, sinking farther down his cock, until your nose nestled between his fine hairs.
You trailed your nails down his thighs, trying your best to relax your throat. Taehyung was taking in big gulps of breath, arousal flooding him when he saw you innocently looking back at him. “Baby, can I fuck your mouth?”
You hummed in approval, guiding his hands to your hair. With a tight grip, he pushed your head firmly against his pubic bone, before holding you in place and thrusting deep into your mouth. 
He hit the back of your throat each time he bucked his hips towards you. His head was thrown back, swimming in pleasure. A wanton of moans filled the room, along with your lewd gagging. His fingertips burned at your scalp, grip so tight his knuckles turned white. 
Desire coursed through your veins. You could faintly feel your essence dripping down your thighs, your fingers itching to insert themselves into your throbbing pussy. However, you wanted to focus on the writhing boy in front of you for now. 
He felt so big - was so big.  You could feel him down your throat, cock squeezing through the tight confines. Saliva trailed down your mouth as you dig your nails into the soft flesh of his thighs.
“Ah! A-ah fuck! You feel so good,” His thrusts were turning sloppy, the need to come burning at the pit of his stomach. He gritted his teeth in an attempt to hold his release, chest heaving slowly, a pleading look in his eyes once he stared down at you. “Can I, please?”
In response, you swallowed around him, sending him headfirst into his orgasm. Hot spurts of his cum shot down your throat, the rest falling on your lips when he pulled out. You coughed a little, before licking your lips and swallowing the remaining drops of his cum. Finally, you released your grip from his thighs, admiring the red marks left on the tan skin.
His thighs were still quivering, breath shaky. Taehyung was still reeling from his orgasm, giving you an opportunity to sit yourself on his thighs, hands placed on his chest. “Hm, this looks like a nice spot.”
Taehyung didn’t have time to respond before he felt your hot mouth on his chest, sucking and nibbling on the skin. He whined, but placed his hands on your ass nonetheless. Once you were satisfied, you pulled away to admire your work - a purplish mark sitting nicely above his collarbone.
“You didn’t get to cum,” He pouted almost cutely at you. Chuckling, you re-positioned yourself so you were sitting with his thigh between your legs. You brought your hips down, clit brushing against his thigh. “Don’t worry, I will.”
With his strength gradually coming back, he flexed his thigh, providing you a firmer surface to grind on. Your arousal coated his thigh, making it easier to buck your hips into him. His hands were still on your ass, helping you ride his thighs. 
You brought your lips against his again, puling him in for an open-mouthed kiss. You moaned into his mouth, his tongue finding its way into yours. 
Suddenly, you gasped; Taehyung slipped two fingers into your wet pussy, arching the long digits to rub against your g-spot. You groaned, increasing your pace and begun bouncing up and down his thigh. 
He thrust his fingers in, reaching spots so deep inside you, shooting sparks through you. One of your legs brushed his already hardening cock, making him flinch in overstimulation. The action caused him to draw his thigh away, cutting you off from your pleasure.
Abruptly, you stopped. You tugged his head back and forced his jaw open, spitting inside his mouth. He swallowed it immediately, big eyes looking back at you in arousal and slight fear. “Stay still or else I’ll grind my foot into your pathetic little cocklet.”
The movement was fast, just from the corner of your eye, but you caught it. His dick had twitched. The moment you put two-on-two together, you smirked down at him. He bit hard down his bottom lip, relishing your words. 
Of course you didn’t mean it. Obviously, he was nowhere near having a cocklet, but his reaction pushed you to kept going. If he wanted to feel small, you’ll make him feel small. “Dumb baby. The only thing you know is to fuck, right? Can’t even control your fucking cock. Much less stay still for me. You’re just such a needy bitch, huh?”
This time, he let out a long groan. Tears threatened to fall from the corners of his eyes. He was babbling, didn’t have enough presence of mind to form a coherent sentence. “Mouth... My mouth- baby- pl-please. C-Cum.”
“You have to use your big boy words, honey.”
He took a deep breath, mouth slack for a few moments. A strained moan made its way through his lips. “P-Please cum on my face?”
“You have to try better than that,” You sighed, feigning indifference. With another whine, he said, “Please, mommy, please cum on my face. I want mommy to feel good. I want to taste mommy please.”
“Lie on the floor.”
He scrambled on his feet, in a rush to lie down on the cold, hard surface. He grimaced at first when the cool marble hit his skin, but all discomfort he had melted off when you settled both knees on either side of his head. You knelt facing his cock. “Use your mouth.”
You lowered your hips, letting your pussy meet his lips. He lapped at your wetness, licking in between your labia, underneath your clit. He latched his lips onto the sensitive nub, sucking hard on it. His hands were wrapped around your thighs, bringing you closer to him. 
Your hands clutched at his hair. You could feel the coil in your stomach about to snap, with only one strong lick from his skillful mouth pushing you over the edge. 
You cried out, thighs spasming, clenching his head against your pussy. You leaned over, grasping his cock and tugging on it harshly. He jerked away from your touch, but your grip was strong. He choked on his sobs as you milked his cock, a smaller amount of cum spurting out his dick. 
You slumped down next to him, both of you panting hard. Taehyung’s tears were freely flowing, every part of him a mess. Some of your cum was still scattered over his face, his cum equally a mess on his thighs and on your hand. His hair was in tangles, lips red from how much you abused them.
“You’re very scary and mean during sex,” He said in a small voice, though his tone was teasing. You looked at him, a small smile on his face. “I liked it.”
You chuckled, gaining your breath back. “Hey,” you touched his forearm. “Let’s go to my room, okay? There’s a proper bed there you can lie down on.”
After you got him a glass of water, you ran a bath in the small tub you had. The bathroom that came with the dorm was small, but one of the only ones that had a tub in it. It was easy to say it was one of your most prized possessions. You mixed the last of your bubble bath formula in, and went back to fetch Taehyung. 
When you got to him, he was huddled under the blankets. Light snores came from his still figure. You nudged him lightly, shaking him awake. “Baby? The bath’s ready.” 
He looked groggily up you before nodding. You held his arm, supporting some of his weight. 
He sighed in relief once the warm water touched his skin. You placed yourself in front of him, leaning onto his chest. You both closed your eyes, feeling yourself relax more in the bath, with each other. You were pressed closely to him, his arms around you. 
“I didn’t go too far, or anything?” You murmured. You were honestly worried you did because he was in such a haze when you were walking him towards the bathroom. 
He hummed, sending vibrations at the top of your head. “It was amazing, promise. You were amazing. And it felt really good.”
“Thank God. I thought I might’ve scared away my potential boyfriend,” He let out  deep chuckle, chest rumbling. 
“I’m not that easy to get rid off, baby. Wait- I’m your boyfriend now? Am I?” His face lit up, mouth in his signature boxy smile. You nodded your head, sporting a wide grin of your own. He did a little fist pump before taking your cheeks in his hands and peppering them with kisses. “I love you so much.”
The morning after, Jimin noticed an unusual glow emqanating from Taehyung. He had the same love-dovey look on his face, only amped up by a hundred. He left his things at the locker room, humming a small song as he smoothed out his uniform. 
“You look especially... dreamy today,” Jimin said to him, two macchiatos in his hand. He shrugged, continuing to work the coffee machines. “I guess you worked things out with ___?”
“Things worked out very well for us,” He set the coffee cups on the tray, along with a some pasta and a sandwich. He picked the tray up, smiling back at Jimin. “You could say did she liked the picture.”
It was one of the rare days you didn’t wake up late. Taehyung had prepared you breakfast while you got ready, and you left for university and work together. Seulgi was, thankfully, still not at home, but she sent you text saying she spent the night over at her group mate’s house. 
If Taehyung remembered it correctly, you were supposed to have History by now. He smiled, knowing you’ll effortlessly ace the exam - thanks to his help of course. 
He finished drying the rest of the plates when his phone buzzed. He excused himself to the employee’s washroom before unlocking it to see a message from you. 
It looked like you were in a bathroom stall. You were wearing your shirt, but your nipples were visibly peeking through the material, stretched ridiculously tight over your boobs. “Thinking of you. Finished the test early.” Your next messaged read.
He gulped. He may not be getting the Employee of the Month award after all, not with how much time he is about to spend in the washroom. 
1K notes · View notes
bhumblebih · 4 years ago
Text
Into the Unknown (Bang Chan au)
Genre: angst+fluff
Warnings: I suck at this pls bear the shitty fic i wrote. I just thought i could do something lol
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You know how there are days, where you just feel super lazy and don’t feel like doing anything because you’re just so done with everything. With life, with opportunities that you could’ve taken if you had made a different decision in the past. It all comes down to that one butterfly effect that changed it all. This was exactly how Kara felt until a special someone comes into her life.
It all started when she moved away for University. She had chosen to move to a different country for her Bachelors in hopes of finding new, better people to befriend with and also because she wanted a change in her lifestyle. She could’ve gotten into a university of the same worth in her hometown but triggered by the changes caused by some of her decisions, she decides to go to a University where she knew no one, in hopes of finding a new group and ultimately thinking that it’d change her life for the better.
The first semester goes by quickly and she realizes that her friend group is totally different from her and its been very hard to make new friends, so she just sticks with the people that she met on the orientation day. She was totally devastated by the fact that this was, in fact a hasty decision and that it’d have been way better if she had joined the University in her hometown. At least she’d have been able to meet her friends frequently. Deeply depressed by this realization, she continues to live her life like this until she met someone that forced her to think differently. 
Waking up at 7:00 made her regret her decisions even more as she had to take the bus for her to make it on time for her first lecture, which to her dismay was the lecture she hated the most. On her way to the class, she realizes that she forgot that she had lend her book to her groupmate for an assignment they were working on. 
She calls her friend and says “Hey Hyena, the class will start in about 5 minutes. When will you come?” to which her friend, Hyena replies “Hey, I wont be  coming today because I’m sick but don’t worry, I had Chan take it with him so he’ll give it to you as soon as he can so let me know when you get it.” 
The conversation soon ended with Kara telling Hyena to get well soon. Chan and Hyena were neighbors and he is also Hyena’s childhood bestfriend. Kara and Chan never got along. Kara always thought that Chan had a personal vendetta to tease Kara as much as he can. And as for Chan, the fact that someone other than him is getting close to his bestfriend didn’t sit well with him so he just thought he’d do something to scare off the new girl. Thing with Chan is, even though he had other close friends but he was the closest to Hyena because of spending a huge part of his life with her. He experienced most of his firsts with her and vice versa. Also being in different departments made him think that their friendship would fall apart as he had seen his other friends slowly get distant, to the point, they rarely talk or meet now. This kind of stuff scared Chan because he thought of losing friends as a segment of his life falling apart. 
Kara looked at her phone again to see only 5 minutes were left till the lecture started and she was basically losing her shit because she didn’t want to get embarrassed again in front of so many people. Thing with this professor was that he was very serious about teaching and just wanted the students to be attentive and actually gain something good out of this class instead of cramming. But Kara, clouded by the negative thoughts and absolutely regretting her decisions, put no heed to this. Only 2 minutes eft, and Chan was still not here but so was the professor. After 5 minutes, she saw him running towards her with her book in his hand. 
“Hi, sorry about being a bit late. I couldn’t find a spot to park and came as fast as I can” said Chan while breathing heavily. He was actually hoping to mend his relationship with Kara after having a really talk with Hyena about it. Maybe they could be a group of 3 and just enjoy their university life as it is. After all, Chan did believe that everything happens for a reason and maybe Kara coming into their life was a good thing? 
Kara was fuming when Chan finally approached her. She was sure that he did this just to spite her so she’d get embarrassed in front of everybody. Thinking this, she angrily said,  “Don’t ‘Hi’ me! I never thought you’d be so petty to come late just to get me embarrassed. You could’ve just told Hyena that you didn’t want to do this! Next time at least try to come up with a better excuse. Everyone knows that you travel by bus.”  
Chan was dumbstruck by what he heard. He thought that she’d be thanking him for bringing her book and they can finally start off with a fresh start but boy, was he wrong. He had recently bought a bike to travel around because his apartment was kind of far and traveling by bus just seemed like a hassle to him because it took a lot of time to reach his stop. He saw Kara angrily walk away towards her class. He thought maybe he had done something wrong but he just couldn’t understand what it was. Thinking this, he went to the cafeteria to meet his friends.
Kara enters the class and she is relieved to see that the professor hasn’t arrived yet. She sits in the second row, next to her other groupmate, Seungmin. He was a good friend of Kara and they got along pretty well. If anything, Seungmin and Hyena were the only good friends Kara had. She didn’t interact with anyone else enough to be good friends with anyone else. “Wow, its very rare to see the professor come late. I wonder what’s taking him so long?” Kara muttered while opening the book to the topic they were supposed to study today. 
“Yeah but look he just messaged in the group that he would schedule a makeup class for today later this week. Damn! he could’ve messaged earlier so i could sleep a few more hours. I’ve got a practice baseball match for the sports week next month.” Seungmin said sadly. Hearing this, Kara lost all her motivation to study. Could it get any worse?, she thought. 
“That’s stupid. Messaging us last minute that he isn’t going to come. Are we a joke to him?” Kara went on to rant about it. Seeing this, Seungmin smiled to himself. He just thought how cute Kara was being, ranting about all that stuff. He always thought that she is a nice person who thinks too much. He hoped that she’d lose that ‘I’m so done with everything’ look from her face. He always tried his best to cheer up Kara as much as he can. 
“I know its pretty frustrating but isn’t it good in a sense? We can spend some time together since I’ve got nothing else to do. Do you want to go to the cafe?” asked Seugmin hopefully. “Sure. I haven’t had my breakfast yet.” Kara replied, feeling a bit better that at least she wouldn’t have to spend all this free time alone. 
Walking towards the Cafeteria, she laughs at a dad joke Seungmin made when she realizes that she forgot to message Hyena about the book. She quickly messages Hyena and lets her know that she got the book. After a while, they reach the cafeteria and Kara can see from a distance that Chan sat there with his group of friends. She tries to sit as far as she can from their table only to end up finding the only spot lest was beside where Chan sat. 
“Oh god, its been so long since we spend time together. I’m glad professor didn’t come today!” Seungmin exclaimed. “You’re right! It has been long. I really miss the time where we used to chill around and stuff, yknow?” Kara replied.
“Yeah, those were the fun times but anyways I have this practice match later today. Do you want to come watch me play? I heard the buses will go later than usual today because of the upcoming sports week.” Seungmin asked. 
“Oh sure. My introverted self wouldn’t want to interact with anyone else so I’d rather watch you play than sit somewhere alone and have to make weird eye contacts with strangers.” Kara laughed. “That’s amazing then. I can walk you to your bus later as well since I’m planning to go to a gaming zone with Chan later. I’ll be leaving with him.” Seungmin said. “Oh, but the busses would’ve left by then. How do you plan to go to the gaming zone?” Kara asked curiously. She was hoping that it wasn’t what she thought it was. “Oh Hyena didn’t tell you? Chan recently bought a bike which is so cool at least we won’t have to wait for the bus.” Seungmin exclaimed happily. Whereas Kara wanted the ground to swallow her. She was so embarrassed over the fact that she didn’t give him time to explain his part of the story and she outright bashed him about something he wasn’t even wrong about. “That’s nice. And no, she didn’t tell me about it.” Kara said sadly once she realized that she was in the wrong. She made a mental note to apologize to Chan about what she said but deep down she still thought that maybe he did something wrong because in her head, it all seemed too good to be true. For Chan to go out of his way to give her book just didn’t seem true.
Time skip to the practice match
Kara sat in the bleachers waiting for the match to start. She saw Seungmin waving at her from afar and she waved back happily hoping for him to win when suddenly hears a familiar laugh from her right. She looks over and sees Chan screaming “OI FELIX! YOU GOT IT BRO!” to a blonde haired guy who looked embarrassed. Chan sat down next to Kara excitedly until he looked to his left to see Kara looking at him, annoyed by his screaming. Chan wanted to do it again just to annoy her but remembered that he had a talk with Hyena about how he will try to be nicer to Kara and decided not to do it and gave Kara an apologetic look. Seeing this, Kara feels bad and decides that this might be the right time to apologize to him. 
“Hey Chan, I wanted to apologize for being rude to you in the hallway. I didn’t know you had bought a bike until Seungmin told me about it.” Kara said apologetically. This warmed Chan’s heart and made him think that maybe Kara wasn’t as bad as he thought. “It’s okay! It is partly my fault for teasing you so much. Obviously you’d think that. But I really hope we can start over?” Chan asked hoping for her to give him a chance. “No, its my fault too for never making an effort to fix things between us but yes, I’d love to start over.” Kara replied happily. 
After this, they happily rooted for their friends to win and Chan even bought popcorn and drinks for the match. Kara was overwhelmed by the fact how genuine Chan was. He was a carefree guy who deeply cared for his friends. They later exchanged phone numbers because of how much fun they had.
Time skip to a few months later    
One Sunday night, Kara wakes up in the middle of the night with an ache in her heart. The same familiar ache that she got when she missed her old life and regrets making some decisions. She missed her family, her friends, her home and basically everything she could think of. She felt horrible over the fact how she has misjudged her decision of moving somewhere else would resolve her short term problems. Even though the past few months have been amazing, she still missed her hometown. The past few months, she’s been meeting Chan and Hyena everyday where they’d make short trips to the park or the pet cafe near their university or just hang out and chill in the campus somewhere. Her life did get a bit better than before but she just wasn’t in the right headspace at the moment. Kara decides to take a walk to get rid of the ache in her heart. She walks to the park near her apartment and buys chocolate milk on her way. When she reaches the park, she sits on a swing and thinks about how drastically her life changed just from that one decision. Oh, how she wished her life would go as she planned it to be.  
Chan was walking home after a long game of football with his friends. His apartment was close by so he just walked to the football ground. On his way, he passes the park that him, Hyena and Kara sometimes hang out in. He sees someone on the swing sipping a juice or something. He couldn’t see properly because of the dim lights. He thinks that it might be Kara because of the body structure but he wasn’t sure. So to confirm, he messages Kara where she is to which she replies that she was in the park to get some fresh air. Chan had noticed this before as well that Kara frequently goes to the park to get some “fresh air”. He goes over to the swings and sits beside her. Kara looks shocked to see him. She didn’t think he’d show up like that but she doesn’t say anything.
“What’s on your mind?” Chan asks. “It’s nothing. I just came out to drink chocolate milk.” Kara mutters sadly. Hearing this, Chan is sure that something isn’t right. “You know you can talk to me right? I don’t like seeing my friends sad. You can share it with me if you want to. I wont judge.” Chan says genuinely wanting her to open up so he can help her. Kara looks at his eyes and she realizes that he’s being genuine and she feels warmth in her heart knowing that someone is willing to spend their time in making her feel better. She ends up telling him everything. By the end of it, she’s crying and Chan hugs in hopes of calming her down. He knew that she was in pain and wanted to do something about it. “Come on, I have to show you something.” Chan says. Kara looks up at him confused as to why would he randomly say that but nonetheless, stands up and follows him to his bike. 
They travel for about 15 minutes when Chan suddenly stops and makes her close her eyes. He leads her to a high ground where they can see the whole city from above. They sit down near an edge and Kara is too mesmerized to say anything so Chan starts talking. “I know that it can be hard for you to adjust to a new environment. And that whatever you planned didn’t come true but this is life. Its unpredictable. We all have our ups and downs but you know what the best part about it is? Its that its never going to be the same. Things change. Its sad now for you but it wont be the same always. Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought life would be and learn to find joy in the story you’re living. So don’t worry, you’ve got me and I’ll always be there for you. You’re not alone. And like I always say “Don’t be sad, Bitches need cash”” 
Kara laughs at what he said but deep down what he said touched her heart. It all seemed so genuine and she started to realize that she had to look at life from a different perspective and maybe life wasn’t too bad. But one thing was for sure that the guy sitting beside her has her heart and she doesn’t regret moving here and meeting this pure soul.
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colourthestarts · 5 years ago
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Bad Days and Baby Steps
Warning: smoking (kids do not smoke!) and swearing.
 Sachihiro Kondo. Also known as Sachi had a sort of relation with y/n that Kuroo had with Kenma. They grew up together and they both joined same type of sports which were jiu jitsu and judo. They met Mika together in first year of high school when Sachi very rudely hit on Mika and she slapped him in the face. Y/n howled the whole day and then kicked Sachi’s ass during training the same day. Then both of them got twenty push ups for slagging each other off. Then another twenty for asking why. But neither regretted cause they met Mika and clicked together well.
By the end of the year y/n and Sachi were not as close. Y/n was no longer training and the group would eat together and hang out but there was still that distance. Then it got bigger when Sachi got a girlfriend or well… few girlfriends over time. The issue was not that he had girlfriends but rather the type. Somehow they all turned up jealous of his two female friends. But they were all understanding for their age, tho sometimes still argued.
Third year started to change when Sachi started to pester y/n more often once again. This did not go unnoticed in school and a small rumour started that they were dating. Which got the attention of Sachi’s girlfriend Yua who was seeing him a lot less lately. So it was not surprising that eventually she would come to the girls on the whereabouts of her boyfriend.
“Y/n, Mika have you seen Sachi?”
“No.” Y/n stated while trying to cram in that bloody chemistry chapter for the test tomorrow.
“Probs in your classroom.” Mika replied while trying to understand the geography homework.
“Yeah, he’s not there which is why I’m asking. He’s been recently hanging out with you two. I barely see him at all.”
“We’ve been hanging out since first year. That would be normaaaal.” Mika sang, which irritated the girlfriend more if not for Sachi walking in. Yua immediately approached him. 
“Awww Sachi let’s have lunch and hang out!” But she was swiftly ignored when he passed her and sat in front of y/n, closing her book which was met with a whine.
“Sweetie, I need to study. We got a chemistry test tomorrow and I need to know my study sessions with Kuroo are not a massive waste of time. Can your existential crisis wait till tomorrow?”
“Come back to me.” Sachi stated.
“Ehhh… you might want to be a bit clearer when you say stuff like that.” Y/n nodded towards the girlfriend who looked like she was gonna explode. And rightfully so from her perspective.
“To the club. Come back to train.” Y/n face became sour.
“No.”
“I know that you’re done with physio.”
“Wait what? Seriously?” Mika asked.
“Yeah. So what? I’m not coming back.”
“Be my vice-captain. We can go back to before the injury.” Although y/n understood this came from a good place to say so, she just couldn't take it that way. There was nothing good with this.
“Let’s make this super clear. There will never be a "before the injury". And I am not coming back so go deal with your girlfriend and kindly fuck off.”
The same day Sachi broke up with Yua with the explanation that she was too clingy. Y/n did not shut down. Instead she blanked the whole day and when school ended she didn’t go to physio. Cause there was no more physio. Nor did she have a chemistry session with Kuroo that day. In theory she knew she should study for the test but she didn’t want to go home. So she spend her time in the wondering in the shopping centre then to the cafe and when that wasn't good enough she just walked around the streets until finally sitting down.
That was the worst decision and she knew it. Cause when y/n felt upset and with no way out she smoked. It happened rarely and it was a disgusting habit, yet she didn’t quit. On her second cig she was woken up when it was taken straight out of her lips. Y/n expected her brothers, Mika, Sachi even the police, but definitely not Kuroo.
In retrospect, Kuroo was shocked when he was walking towards train station after getting himself a new pair of volleyball shoes, seeing y/n sitting with a cig between her teeth. He never thought that she was a smoker. Suddenly he started to get sort of pissed off. No reason why but that feeling was there. So he walked up to her and asked what was she thinking, but she completely blanked him, the same way she blanked her lessons. After not getting a response after few more times Kuroo just took her cig right out of her mouth which seemed to wake her up. With few blinks she finally responded.
“What are you doing here?”
“Didn’t think you were a smoker.” Kuroo stated while taking out the cig and sitting next to her.
“I’m not.” Then Kuroo pointed at the pack. “Rarely. Until the next time happens I guess.”
“Have you talked to Mika?”
“Nah, not there yet.”
“What about Sachi? You two are close right?”
“Yeah… he’s not a good option at this time.”
“Your brothers. They seem chill from what I’ve seen.” That was Kuroo’s honest opinion. Sometimes after sessions he would stay longer when her brothers were around to have dinner. It was always insisted and he honestly liked the extra company. Once in a while Kenma joined too.
“I can’t cause I’m mad at them.”
“Aaaaaa….”
“Yeah…”
“… You can talk to me? I mean I can listen or not listen.”
A minute later y/n stood up, putting away the pack back into the bag.
“Let’s walk to the train station.”  Kuroo nodded and tagged along. At least he offered his help. Y/n tho considered his offer and though that she’d go with it. You never know. “I think better in motion so this will be easier as we walk. Plus then I don’t exactly have to look at you and that makes me feel more comfortable. Although I don’t mean looking at you in a negative way.”
“Okay…”
“So basically I’m out from physio. It’s all done.”
“That’s good news right?”
“Well technically yes. But this now brings the opportunity to go back to training, but I don’t think I’m quite there yet in a weird way. But then Sachi just flew in on the break saying I should come back and be vice-captain and like as if everything is fine but I know... I’m not fine. Dunno why but I know I’m not. And now Mika knows too because of him and she’s gonna be all happy and supportive and she’ll team up with Sachi who I kinda wanna strangle for this.”
“So you’re angry cause he’s pushing you? If you don’t wanna do this why don’t you tell him that. You’re pretty blunt usually.”
“Thanks. Not angry, more like feeling suffocated." Y/n commented with a chuckle. Tho both knew it wasn't funny. A minute later they stopped and y/n turned to Kuroo. "I can’t cause he was the one who injured me. Well he thinks he did. I think that I fucked up and its on me and we never agreed on this issue in the first place. So now he probs thinks that this is a remake. But since I can’t even think about training without having a nervous breakdown it’s a fucked situation for everyone. Hence smoking.”
Wow. Not exactly what he imagined nor he could relate to her situation. He really didn’t know what sort of advice to give. He never had a serious injury. Never really felt stuck like this with Kenma. Maybe Yaku, but it was just arguing with banter. Definitely never with Bokuto or Akaashi.
“I’m sorry.”
“Lol for what even. You said you’d listen and you did. If it makes you feel better this kinda made me feel better.”
“Weirdly helps. By the way why are you mad at your brothers?”
“Sachi doesn’t walk to physio with me. I banned him after the whole surgery and stuff. He was a nightmare. Mika didn’t know I was done so she didn’t tell him. Which means my dumb ass siblings told him which was frankly none of their business.”
“I don’t think they meant to harm.”
“Of course they don’t. So I can’t be mad at them either. I am just royally fucked in every way.” When Kuroo made a face she quickly realised. “I just heard how that sounded, but the basic point stands.”
“Okay… didn’t know you were such a badass tho. Judo? Really?”
“And Jiu Jitsu. And even MMA once in a while cause Kisho does that.”
“So you can easily beat me up anytime.”
“I wouldn’t and haven’t trained in ages, but if necessary yeah think so. Deffo could break a few bones.”
“You are terrifying.” Kuroo stated intrigued. To him this somehow made y/n even more attractive. Same didn’t registered with y/n tho.
“Thanks. That’s what all girls wanna hear.”
"No no, I mean in a good way! Like a badass! Not like that you're boyish or anything."
"What's wrong with girls being boyish?"
"Nothing at all! God I'm just digging myself in a bigger hole aren't I?"
"Just a bit." Y/n mused, she knew he didn't mean it like that. Tho she also struggled to be a bit more feminine to say so. She wished she was tho. "I'm pulling your leg, don't worry. C'mon the train station isn't far off."
The journey home was more pleasant. There was some small talk but y/n mostly was quite clearly didn't feeling good yet. Also her hands gripping her backpack also indicated she wasn't completely fine. So when y/n got off at her station so did Kuroo.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Walking you home."
"You're what now?"
"Walking you home. You honestly expect me just to let you off like that."
"Like what? I'm fine."
"Yeah just the way you also are amazing at chemistry."
"It's a dumb subject! And we're not talking about that! You need to get on the next train." Y/n commented while waving her hands. Kuroo noticed she did a lot of that when she was explaining or arguing like now. Well she can keep doing that while walking home.
"There'll be 3 more trains. I got plenty of time. Let's go."
The way to y/n's was far more talkative cause y/n kept pestering for him to go back. But Kuroo shot back with the chemistry test that was due tomorrow so the rest of the walk up to her gates was him quizzing and her mostly whining.
"Can't believe you just tortured me with this."
"We have a test tomorrow. Can't have you failing."
"Pfff I've never failed a test so you better watch your own ass. At this point I'll do better than you."
"Dream on." Kuroo chucked as they approached the gate. The lights were on so someone was definitely on possibly waiting to give hell to y/n. "Are you gonna be okay?"
"You mean those two? Not the first time I got home so late so I'm used to a bit of telling off. Besides once I mention Sachi they'll shut right up. You should go or you'll miss your train."
"I will, you should go inside."
"You should go first. I'm literally outside my house."
"You-"
"You insisted to walk me home and quizzed me on chemistry. Can't you do this for me?" Kuroo noticed that she was waving her arms again. It was adorable.
"Okay I'll go first. But if you feel like that again where you wanna smoke text or call me."
"Sorry, I can't promise that. Text me when you get home or if you missed your train."
"I will, see you tomorrow."
"Bye "
It was when he reached the third house that he herd y/n yell thank you. But when he turned around she was already gone.
On the other hand once y/n got in she was met with Norio's dissaproved face.
"Where have you been I've been worried. Mike and Sachin had no idea where you were your phone is off. Have you lost it?"
"It's with me."
"Then what the hell?"
"Was it you or Kisho who told Sachi physio was done?" When she was met with silence she immediately knew. "So, both of you. I'm going to my room have a test tomorrow."
After some revision and finally getting to bed it was not a surprise that she couldn't sleep. Over think everything was an awful personality trait of hers. But this time it wasn't as bad as usually despite her weird day. Instead she had a weird feeling because of Kuroo that she couldn't quite identify.
Maybe it was graditute.
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bthump · 5 years ago
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madchen replied to your post “Let's say Griffith was kinda aware of his feelings. What kind of...”
omg the razing falconia one... these are all so good especially the fact that griffith would have cliche dubcon fantasies about enemy warlord guts fucking him. like he wants it but he wants guts to take it from him so he doesn’t have to make that choice, and irl guts would never do anything like that to griffith which is why it’s so good. and griffith would try so hard to not bring emotions into it but he’s def finished once while accidentally imagining guts telling him “i love you”- and it fucked him up good afterwards. doooo you have any thoughts on like flip side guts fantasies involving griffith? like canon, post eclipse, au where they get together, any spin really? i think guts is way more like, sweet and vanilla in his imagination than griffith (tho griffith is vanilla too just more active imagination) + idol more basic? but man…he’s just so canonically focused on griffs physical beauty and says some romantic ass shit it’s gotta be saccharine and ridiculous sometimes griffith def fantasizes about like, calling guts to his tent and complimenting him on being an Excellent Soldier or whatever and “rewards” him via a blowjob. or like corny gay porn scenario where griffith makes that “wow what a big sword i wouldn’t be able to handle it” comment he makes in the ovas that leads to like griffith jerking him off of w/e
God like I wish I had the ability to start and then finish a fic because I feel like Guts and Griffith’s fantasies about each other would make a great series of character studies lmao. Like Griffith coming when he accidentally thinks about Guts telling him he loves him and then being out of sorts all day, that’s solid stuff right there.
Also ngl that “it’s an amazing sword, I could never wield it” line (which is also in the manga actually, tho the ova adds a suggestive sword movement so credit where it’s due) is such a perfect cliche porn intro, it would be tragic if it never featured in either of their fantasies.
As for Guts’ fantasies... during the Golden Age honestly I don’t think his fantasies would’ve ever got further than imagining leaning in and brushing Griffith’s hair back during the staircase Zodd conversation, or something like that. Coming back from his dream journey, meeting Griffith again as his equal, embracing him in a manly fashion, aaaaaand then his mind trails off and he gets moody and scowly for no apparent reason. It’s really hard for me to imagine him as self aware about wanting to fuck Griffith back then.
Tho maybe in the very early days he’d think about it, yk not long after he asked Griffith if he was gay, offered sex as stakes for the duel, and got all “commander Griffith, are you trying to seduce me” before the naked waterfight. But I don’t think he’d make the connection between wondering about it and wanting it at that point. And I feel like once he started considering Griffith his friend those thoughts would mostly fade. And if the question of sex with Griffith popped into his head again later on it would be with a bit of exasperation and bemusement, rather than any longing (that he’s aware of). So less a fantasy and more of an occasionally recurring stray thought that he doesn’t want to consider too closely.
He would’ve started thinking about sex as a real option, at least one he could’ve/should’ve pursued in the past, about 20 minutes after realizing he shouldn’t’ve left at the end of chapter 71, but then the Eclipse happened and he had other things to think about lol.
But I think Guts definitely, like honestly very nearly canonically as far as I’m concerned, started fantasizing about him properly after NGriff’s resurrection.
Like you’re gonna look at this page and tell me Guts did not jerk it while picturing this that very night?
Tumblr media
Please. Let’s be reasonable here.
Throw in the Beast of Darkness’ taunts about Guts dreaming about Griffith and longing for him and Guts’ urge to get “closer and closer to Griffith” through a sexual act, and I consider this reading a pretty easy sell lol.
Anyway at this point Guts’ fantasies about Griffith would be a wildly confusing and painful mashup of regret and longing for the past and just replaying moments with Griffith in his head imagining actually going for it and kissing Griffith and having sex with him and never ruining anyone’s life, and like dark and violent fantasies about NeoGriffith. Like lbr here we already saw eroguro shit with Casca thanks to the Beast of Darkness, that style of dark is a shoe-in.
To get more detailed wrt the former, at this point I feel like Guts is aware that Griffith loved him. It’s not something he often wants to think about because it makes him sad and confused, but he knows it. A dude doesn’t destroy his own life and spend a year in a torture chamber after you leave him just because you’re his bff. He knows that there’s a good chance if he kissed Griffith back then, Griffith would’ve wanted it and everything else Guts could give him.
Guts would imagine kissing him during a night of like victory celebrations or w/e and having tender emotional sex in one of their dark tents. He’d imagine kissing him and sucking him off against a tree after the ‘do you think i’m cruel’ conversation to demonstrate exactly how he sees Griffith. He’d imagine bending Griffith over the desk in his study, lying together with him as Griffith reads one of his books, bathing together and getting playful in the water, fighting back to back and fucking after emerging victorious, Griffith saving his life and then kissing him passionately in a thank-god-you’re-alive way. Griffith lying on top of him, leaning down to kiss him with his hair falling around Guts’ head like a curtain. Griffith telling him about Gennon and telling Guts how good and unlike him or any other monster he is.
Not realistic but yk emotionally true, maybe strolling right up the Promrose Hall steps and kissing Griffith in front of Charlotte to directly and smugly challenge his speech, leaving him dazed and needy and staring at him like he’s the only thing in the world. Guts would imagine that focused gaze a lot in hindsight, after missing its significance at the time.
Ooh and Guts would have a few fantasies of Griffith watching him and jerking off to him. Like he’d fantasize about Griffith fantasizing about him. “I found someone I really wanted to have look at me,” come on. He wants to be wanted so bad.
Oh and speaking of that, a lot of his dark present-day fantasies would involve forcing NGriff to look at him and acknowledge him. And like, that could easily veer into sad angst too, imagining seeing glimpses of his Griffith through NGriff’s mask while he’s fucking him and/or stabbing a sword through him or whatever else, that kind of thing.
Liiiiike Guts is a giant mess at this point of the story, it’s perfect for cramming in all this wildly emotional stuff lol. He’s having a bad time psychologically and this mix of tenderness and regret and painful emotional truths and neediness and loneliness and rage and violence and hatred and love, man, it could all manifest through this longing for Griffith.
Oh and finally in like, say an AU where they got together during the Golden Age and lived happily ever after, a lot of the human Griffith fantasies would still apply like yk Guts getting off to Griffith getting off to him, life-saving, fighting together, etc.
But I think Guts in that situation would also have some possessive fantasies as well, especially if he’s feeling a little neglected while Griffith pursues his dream. Leaving mild marks and bruises so Griffith thinks about him throughout the day, fantasizing about teasing him so he’s uncomfortably turned on before a meeting with nobles or something, maybe more out there, unrealistic fantasies like having the ability to touch him from a distance or being invisible and (consensually imo) caressing him while he’s socializing at a ball until Griffith’s poker face breaks (but no humilliation kink, that wouldn’t be Guts’ style, the fantasy would just end at that point imo), yk that kind of thing.
Also if he hasn’t heard the Promrose Hall speech, after a while of having regular sex with Griffith I think he’d probably be somewhat into the idea of v mild d/s with Griffith giving orders. More praise kink than anything, like Griffith telling him exactly how he wants to be fucked or blown in a moderately commanding way, and Guts doing it and Griffith being very vocal in his appreciation, telling him how good he is. I feel like I just described a sex scenario more than a fantasy, but yk Guts could imagine it for a while before doing it, and I feel like Griffith would actually not be into that so it might stay a fantasy.
And he’d fantasize about Griffith fucking him for a while before he got the nerve to ask him to.
Ok that’s all I got for now, ty for asking and giving me the opportunity to write another giant post about griffguts sexual fantasies lol. lmk if you have any more thoughts on this!
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quirkydeaky · 5 years ago
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Life is Real {Chapter Three}
ROGER TAYLOR
how will Roger cope when he finds that his new best friend,  whom he’s falling in love with, is slowly dying?
.
HI! So I’m back and hoping this series will not flop, lol. A few people have been interested in seeing this, so here I am with what people want! If you want, drop a comment or send me an ask and I’ll add you to my tag list. Mwah!
{p.s - send me asks cause i want mutuals and my ask box is open! eek!}
Also… This story is a multi-part fan-fiction with heavy, mature themes. The Original (and Main) Female Character has a type of Cancer. The type will not be mentioned, but there may be some scenes with heavy implements of medication, treatment or heavily implied scenes at a hospital.
I DO understand that this topic hits close to home for a lot of people, and if this angst-based series is not something for you, please ignore. Thank you.
.
W/C: 2.6k+
Warnings: Fluff, Angst.
Main Characters: 80s!Roger Taylor, MammaMia2!Lily James
[so, basically this chapter has a lot of dialogue, but this is where Lillian finally become completely honest with Roger about her deathly illness. This is where things are finally beginning to take place in the plot. Enjoy honey’s xxx]
"So he actually threw your maracas into the audience?" Lillian questions after hearing the magnificently odd story of how Roger stole his maracas after hours of searching, only for Freddie to throw them into the audience.
"I'm not joking!" He said as Lillian burst into another fit of laughter at his exasperated tone. "You should've seen me, though... I was ecstatic after finding them, and for him to throw them into the audience like that for one of our audience members to take home? I was fuming!" He exclaimed, throwing his free hand that wasn't connected to the steering wheel and resting dangerously close to Lilly's thigh into the air.
"Any other stories I need to hear about?" She questioned.
"Heard about that time I trashed my kit? Pretty sure it was '74, Rainbow Theatre?"
"No! But why would you even consider, let alone, do such a thing?"
"Terrible night that was. Don't get me wrong, though... a great performance from the four of us from the circumstances we were put in, the electricity cutting in and out constantly I think pushed me over the edge, along with some other things."
"Sounds interesting. Can't believe I'm in the car with the actual Roger Taylor."
"Oh, 's nothing, really. Quite the opposite of how a lot of fans would actually react, I guess. You're the type of down to earth that I really appreciate."
"That's nice to know, I appreciate the compliment."
"Wait- don't get me wrong... you are actually a fan, right?"
"Yes, I am, Roger. Don't think you're boasting about your one of a kind, crazy talented band to someone who really isn't listening or appreciating the stories, because I am, really."
"You have our albums?"
"Every single one. From Smile's first 45 to The Game that was released a little over a month ago. Love it all."
"Even Smile's first release? Wow, you've stuck around a while, have you not?"
Nodding in agreement, she replied. "I have."
"But, why don't you know about some of our stories, and stuff? Like, that story of me trashing the kit, almost everyone in London knows about it, not to mention holds it against me, to this day, almost six and a half years later!"
"Well, I- don't really know. At the start when you guys became famous after Killer Queen, I was just graduating Uni at the time, and was busy with trying to find some temporary work, but then had to drop that job as some other things got in the way."
"What kind of things?" Roger questioned.
Roger's eagerness really didn't go unnoticeable. He was in a form of desperation to find out about his new, so called best friend that he needed in his life. He knew this friendship was really going to work, basing it off already being able to tell that the trust and communication was there between the two. But Roger really didn't realise that he could press this somewhat introverted yet extroverted woman too much.
Ignoring his previous comment, she continued.
"And as of recent times, I've picked up a one-shift a week part-time job while working and focusing on the creative aspect of my life-"
"As I mentioned before, what kind of things got in the way?" He pressed, eyes flicking over to her before regaining focus on the road, making Lilly shift in her seat and lean more towards and against the locked door of the travelling car, feeling a blush creep up her neck and towards her cheeks.
"I- I can't really explain. Not right now."
"If it's something explicit or something that has or is scaring, even hurting you... you can tell me. I have no one to tell, if that's what your wondering."
Its not that Lillian wanted to hide such a massive part of her life that was impacting almost everything she did from Roger. It'd be an act of cruelty and dishonesty, having and letting him open up when she hasn't done the same.
"I- yeah, I guess. Okay."
"Okay? You'll tell me?"
She nodded, nerves and fear encasing her voice so much she was afraid to speak. "When is the next turn off?"
"In a couple of minutes, love. 'Want me to just pull into a park or something just outside London?"
"Yeah, just do that."
.
"Okay. You're going to get the truth, obviously," Lillian begins as they step towards a park bench after stepping out of the car not long before, about to get down into the nitty gritty before being interrupted.
"I would hope so."
"Right. Do you want this the light or the hard way?"
"I'll take either, as long as you're comfortable." Roger says with a shrug as he sits on the seat, patting the space next to him to invite her.
Sitting down, she continues. "How easily d'you take me being upfront and probably confronting?"
"I'm fine."
"Okay," She starts, turning and facing him, gaze ripping away from the empty, large space in front of them. Crossing her legs, Lillian fiddles in her bag before taking out three small bottles of different medications, two bottles being almost full as she only collected them from the pharmacy two or so days ago, another being half full.
While Roger stares at the bottles now laid out in front of him, he's lost for words, many assumptions being made in his head that were now not only crammed with lyrics, beats, things to do and his slowly failing marriage, but now his poor, new best friend's health and safety.
"So, what... it's the fourteenth of July, 1980, and doctor's aren't really sure if I'll make it to my thirtieth birthday... that's in April of 1983."
Roger is still speechless, mouth now agape. He doesn't know how to respond to that. Like, this woman who he's already in admiration of, slowly becoming his new best friend, one he is already developing small feelings for, is dying?
It's not what he expected.
What she didn't expect, though, was a response from him. And she hadn't received one yet, and she was fine with that.
It was what she expected. Not to receive a response.
Another thing, though, was how surprised Lillian was with herself. She didn't even have the heart to consider how she, herself, would feel telling Roger all of this. She knew she was comfortable with him the minute they began that proper conversation at the end of his driveway, but having him as the first person to know about her cancer was something entirely different.
Yet, she was okay with it.
"I'm so, so sorry, Lil. I- wow," He says.
Lil. That was new.
She liked it.
"I can't even explain how apologetic and bad I feel."
"And you don't have to, Roger." Lilly said, shaking her head.
"I've been dealing with this on my own for a little over three years. It's cancer. I didn't know it ran in my family, I don't think it does. But it can happen to anyone, at any time. People just need to accept that, and after a while, I learnt. I learnt how to accept that I had the cancer tag that no one knew I walked around with everyday. I didn't have anyone to tell. Mum? She's off with some new bloke, forgotten about me. Don't even know where dad is. I'm an only child and have no friends, except you. Roger, this may be confronting, but I need- god, I need you to understand and accept me for who I am."
"Lil-"
"Please." She begs, in desperation for a little love from someone in her life. Platonically from Roger, of course. He had a wife.
His wife that was slowly becoming further and further away from him, that was.
"Lillian, listen to me." Roger began, griping her shoulders, surprising her with the action and making her chin lift, gaze locking on his.
"I will accept you for whoever you are. The fact that you have cancer? That matters so much to me, in the aspect of me looking after you, driving you to treatment, appointments, whatever. I don't care what I have to do. You have me. I understand, I'm the first person you've had in a long time, and knowing that? I simply can't leave you on your own when you need me most."
Lillian was crying at this point, the realisation of finally having someone who not only will treat her right, but not verbally abuse her like both of her father's. Not a person who will leave her alone, like her mother or that so called friend Sophie. The realisation that someone will finally realise of her existence.
The realisation that someone will love her.
Her tears were flowing freely, Roger cooing and wiping them away as he brought her in for a hug.
Only her second hug in however many years. Both hugs being from Roger.
With the bottles of medication forgotten, she latched her arms around Roger's neck forcefully, knocking over one bottle and climbing over the other two to have a more meaningful hug with the man she now called her best friend.
The touch of his skin on hers lit a fire inside of her, almost instantly craving the small amount of affection she hadn't received in so, so long, with the same happening for Roger.
She wasn't the only one that was craving affection. He was too.
With a slowly disintegrating marriage, how could he not? His wife was now settling for divorce papers. Fights at home become common. Returning to an empty house came even more often then not.
Roger hadn't had a proper, genuine hug in over a year; small side hugs from his three best friends not surfacing even close enough to a real life display of the comfort he needed of so much in his life.
But he had Lillian now. Even if it wasn't for as long as he needed.
The loss of affection, god, Roger didn't know how much it would draw him closer to this new person in his life. One who hadn't experienced affection, comfort, anything of that sort for so long.
The hug lasted a while, sobs still eliciting Lilly's throat as Roger rubbed her back. The small amount of affection that they were both on the receiving end of automatically drew the two closer together, their desperation untameable.
They both wanted someone to love them, and they both wanted to love someone.
That's exactly why when Lillian's head lifted from his shoulder where it lay seconds beforehand, that they both didn't make any effort to pull any further away from each other, Lilly basically resting on his crossed legs.
Roger took a moment to admire the girl's tear stained face, her pretty, sculpted cheek bones blotched a beetroot red, taking the attention away from where her wet eyelashes rested upon her skin where freckles gently lay, eyebrows crinkling as she admired Roger in the exact same way.
She narrowly avoided being caught by Roger as she admired his flawless skin, pale skin a little flushed from the light breeze that blew through the park on a late Summer afternoon, probably also flushed from the intimacy and close proximity of the two bodies in the hug they shared. His breathing was ragged as it escaped his pink, thin yet pillowy lips, a little chapped from gnawing at them in between sentences as he talked up a storm in the car.
His piercing blue eyes caught her own hazel shaded ones as her eyes flicked over his face for the last time, her gaze almost catching something else in motion behind him, all to avoid him, yet what she wasn't giving him, he wanted.
Attention.
He wanted her attention. He wanted her admiration.
Bringing his hand to her chin, he grasped it between his thumb, index and middle fingers, drawing her gaze back to his, eyes locking with one another. Even though he wasn't originally planning to get go of his grasp on her, he did. Only to replace his fingers to fiddle with the only ring he wore.
His wedding band.
"Roger," Lillian started as her eyes caught his actions as he began pushing it up and down is finger, a contemplative face present on his gorgeous features. "What are you-"
"She treats me like shit," Is all the man said before regaining focus on Lillian, stopping his actions and shifting a little closer to the twenty seven year old woman. "Fights with me constantly," He mumbled. "Could say the woman hates me and wouldn't even feel a rid of guilt."
"Roger, I'm-"
"Don't bother, she's settling for divorce papers, and the worst thing? She's not even upset about it. Always says in our fights that she can't wait to get out of the toxic life I've always given her. She hates me. Hasn't loved me in over a year. Haven't felt love from anyone in over a year." He recited, as if the story was what he had told numerous times to different people, or even to himself. Maybe that's why he has no guilt. Only desperation and sadness.
"But no one sees how desperate I am for love to be shown in my direction. The love you receive from friends as they continuously support you hasn't even lasted me long enough. Don't know what to do with myself."
While Lillian was listening and trying to understand the concept of the message Roger was trying to convey, she was interrupted as her body jerked at the sound of church bells ringing in the distance, signalling the beginning of a new hour of the day. Eyes flicking to her watch that she wore on her wrist, it read six p.m.
Her gaze refocused towards the sky after that, ears still perked at the sound of the continuous church bells, still ringing. Breathing in the fresh air and being out in the brisk hours of the beginning of the night was something she rarely got to do, so she focused her eyes on the slowly darkening blue of the sky, searching for the moon to appear at any moment.
Her gaze dropped to the seat the pair were sat on after hearing a light clutter noise. Looking up and seeing Roger with his mouth slightly parted, breathing ragged and increasing as the seconds passed.
The thing Lilly had missed was the way Roger looked at her, trying to succumb and make a decision as she was distracted from his presence. He couldn't help himself, but in the short time the two have known each other, he was beginning to develop feelings for her, and while it was oh so wrong, it felt so, so right, too.
That's why the light clatter noise drew the attention of Lillian. It's exactly what Roger wanted. Her attention.
Her own lips parted at the sight of Roger, and the sight of what caused the clutter noise on the metal bench seat.
His wedding band.
And even if Lillian could only experience three of the main senses at that current time; smelling Roger's cologne, feeling the goosebumps on her skin appear because of Roger's close proximity in his presence, seeing Roger with wide, hazel eyes, that's when she was privileged to feeling and tasting.
The feeling of his pillowy and slightly chapped lips.
The taste of his cigarette.
Roger had kissed her. And almost nothing had felt so right in his life when he felt Lillian kiss back, only for her to pull away seconds later, opening her eyes slowly out of pure bliss before widening them in shock and oblivion.
And at the same time, their mouth opened, spitting out both the obvious, and the not so obvious.
"Roger! You have a wife." "I'm not hers anymore."
TAG LIST: @rogerinathehystericalqueen @toger-raylor @jennyggggrrr @xox-talia-xox​  @hottestofspaces @stormtrprinstilettos @devil-in-those-eyes @redspecialty​​ @brian-roger-deaky-and-fred​​ @ogrogerbattle​​ @im-addicted-to-queen​​ @killerqueenbucky​​ @xgoingdownx​​ @benhardyisdaddy​ @luvborhap​ @loveandbeloved29​ @deacytits @loversoon
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getinthefunvee · 5 years ago
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// hey lovelies. i wasn’t around yesterday (well, a bit in the morning while you were all snoozing) because i was really wrung out. have some fun chatter about my disability and summer below the readmore. it’s going to become relevant to how active i am on here when it’s really really warm out. aka ‘wtf is EB, ari, and why tf won’t you shut up about it?’
figured this was better than clogging everyone’s dash. yesterday was the first properly warm day, and i could sort of feel my soul leave my body for the summer lol. on top of my usual mental ish (major depressive disorder; anxiety; mild ?ptsd) and neurodivergent ish (ADD, huge huge introvert living in a uniquely extroverted microcosm), i have a genetic condition called EB (epidermolysis bullosa)--don’t google it unless you want to skrem, i’m ‘lucky’ in that i have a milder version of it, so i look ‘normal’ to most people (having an invisible disability is its own special hell) but my skin is super fragile, and the summer heat makes it worse. folx with EB tend to burn through nutrients faster, so we’re always exhausted (similar to folx with chronic fatigue syndrome, with varying severity). like we are always soul-deep tired. EB basically means the connective tissue in our skin doesn’t work right, so our skin looks normal, but it’s extremely delicate--even slight friction can cause a scrape or tear, any sustained friction (think bra strap, waistband of your jeans, shoes) causes blisters. there are degrees of severity, from ‘sometimes i get a blister’ to ‘blisters on inside of throat’ hellishness; i fall on the most severe end of the least severe variety, so i don’t get skin damage from stuff like shaking someone’s hand, but i can rub my skin raw from just using the wrong kind of towel or get cuts trying to peel a clove of garlic with a particularly tough husk. 
but back to the blisters! skip this para if you’re squicked by skin. you know the worst shoes you ever wore in your life, the ones that gave you horrific open blisters? that’s me, in any (or no) shoes, with padding/bandages. it means that sometimes, i can’t walk half a block without my feet being wrecked. it means i always have cuts and raw patches on my hands, and it means i’m super self-conscious about the scratch/scab looking wounds that i’ll get on my shoulders or chest or face from just like. using a towel. :/ they’re small enough that it looks like i’ve picked a spot (nice 9.9) which just makes me feel self-conscious because, yeah, it’s not a good Look. 
so summer is extra horrible because 1) feet are constantly wrecked; 2) walking even short distances is physically exhausting; 3) i’m even more exhausted than my usual horrible exhaustion; 4) the pain and anxiety trigger reverse seasonal affective disorder (yup, ‘summer SAD’ is a thing!); 5) public transport here doesn’t have a/c, so it can literally be over 100F in a bus with no open windows, crammed full of people, and nobody will give up their seat because i don’t ‘look’ disabled; 6) summer = tank tops & shorts/skirts, which means more of my wounds/scabs are visible, and i can either cover them in 10,000 bandaids--which, btw, rip EB skin when you try to take them off, super fun--or leave them out and people stare, but not wearing cool clothes = 7) overheating. apparently i’m one of the lucky folx with EB who also don’t sweat enough, which sounds like it’d be a great thing?? but instead i just overheat like a dog trapped in a locked car.
if all of that wasn’t enough, i also have endometriosis and mild hypothyroid, and as an added bonus, the number of genuine external stressors is so severe that even my therapist doesn’t understand how i haven’t had a full-on breakdown. GOOD STUFF.
wow this got long. you’re still with me? i love u.
so very, very tl;dr but here are the things you can help me with during the long horrible summer months of eternal suffer-tude:
1) be gentle with me. 2) be patient with me.  3) if you can, try not to insta-reply the second i post a reply--maybe, idk, stick it in a queue or post it a few hours or more later? it’s ok if you can’t, but it can help alleviate my ‘not replying fast enough, not good enough’ anxiety a little. 4) please don’t try to ‘fix’ things or give me advice; i genuinely love you for the intention, but this stuff is chronic. and i have better days/weeks/months! and once the external (read: financial) stressors back off, if they ever do, it’ll be a lot easier for me to cope. 5) do feel free to send me affection, positivity, cute animals, etc <3 6) pls don’t feel sorry for me; again, i totally get the intention, but i can’t feel sorry for me, i just gotta keep on keepin’ on, yeah? 7) if i don’t instantly reply to DMs/disco convos, please don’t repeatedly ping me. i know i project extroversion, but very often i just don’t have the spoons for this. giving me a poke once a day is ok! just know that if i don’t respond right away, it’s not because i don’t love you/want to interact, it’s often because i’m just trying to function that day. 8) like honestly another thing that would help would be money 8) because the current situation is such that we’re worried about shit like the utilities being turned off, being able to afford food, etc. this isn’t something i’d ever wanted to ask for, but if you’re sitting there like ‘wow what would help’ it’s money, so like. my ko-fi is arieila <3 but please know that just wanting to interact with me is doing me plenty of good and all you can really do.
tl;dr part 2: one day i’ll move to a climate where it’s cold all year ‘round and i’ll be so much healthier.
thank you for coming to my hot mess ted talk.
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lovemesomesurveys · 5 years ago
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Is there something you said you wouldn’t do, but in the end you did it? Yeah.  Are you originally an American, or are you some other kind of nationality? I’m American.
Do you sometimes pretend to do things you dont know how to do? I sometimes pretend I somewhat know I’m doing and can function. Oh, this also reminds me of when I was in 4th grade and took violin, which I sucked at, and pretended to play during the recitals. lol. I didn’t want to quit, so I stuck it out for the school year, but yeah I couldn’t play for crap.
What was the last compliment you remember someone gave to you? Who was it? It was on the shirt I was wearing.
Have you ever had one of those pregnancy scares? When did this take place? No.
Are you someone who puts ranch dressing on everything you eat? Ha, pretty much. I always have to have some kind of dip or sauce.
Have you ever personally been friends with a stripper or prostitute? No.
What kind of ipod or mp3 player do you own at this moment in time? I have an iPod Touch, but I haven’t used it since like 2012.
What, to you, is the best way a guy can smell? Give examples? I love most colognes. Sandalwood and cedar wood are my favorite notes.
Does it seem to bother you when someone doesn’t reply to your messages? I mean, if I’m asking them something or trying to have a conversation. I rarely message anyone anymore, though. How many times a day, on average, do you think critically about something? I’m always thinking about things. My mind never shuts up.
Are you someone who speaks their mind, or do you hold it all in? I keep a lot to myself.
Is anyone who lives with you at the moment, really loud and annoying? No.
Name at least one interesting fact almost no one knows about you? I don’t know.
Where do you work at this moment in time? Does this place have insurance? I’m not working.
If you have tattoo’s, which one that you have was the most painful? I don’t have any.
Who is someone on television at the moment that you feel sorry for? Uhh.
Are you currently in the process of ‘bettering’ yourself as a person? I really should be, but I haven’t taken the steps yet and I don’t know why. I need a lot of work.
What is something you tend to not be able to stand in the least bit at all? Eating sounds. 
Are there any foods out there that can make you puke, just by seeing it? Not by just seeing it I don’t think. Smelling it, most definitely. 
Does it make you angry when people complain an excessive amount around you? Yes. I could definitely complain, too, about a lot but I don’t. Not to say I never complain of course, but I try to keep that stuff to myself. 
Do you like watching people fight or do you stay out of the way of things? I stay away from that. I never understood why everyone always ran over to watch a fight and would get so into it at school. I don’t like watching people get hurt. Even just verbal arguments make me nervous.
Do you encourage people or do you tend to put them down for things? Wow, I never want to put anyone down. 
What would you consider your favorite pattern? (zebra print, floral, etc.) I like floral.
At what age did you actually hit puberty? Was it hard for you to handle? 13. I was in the hospital because I had surgery, so I mean, at least if there was any issues I was already at the doctor.
Do you tend to make the people are you angry or are you very subtle? I’m not sure I understand what you’re asking exactly. I don’t think I tend to make people angry. I hope not. I know I frustrate and annoy people, though. Not intentionally, but I’m just an annoying, stubborn, frustrating person.
Are you considered a graceful person or are you more clumsy? I’m clumsy.
Do you fall up the stairs more than you actually tend to fall down them? I don’t use the stairs.
Have you ever sucked on helium? Did your voice change at all? No, I’ve always been too scared to try lol
Do you know any girls who have an overly manly voice and features? No.
Are you normally someone who tries to grab everyone else’s attention? Nooo. I don’t want that.
Have you ever actually met and talked to someone who’s famous? Yes.
When was the last time you got a parking ticket for anything at all? I don’t drive.
What color are your bed sheets and when did you buy them? Pink. I don’t know when we bought them exactly, but I’ve had them for a long time.
Does it bother you when a lot of people try to fit in to a small space? I hate when people cram into the elevator. I get claustrophobic and I don’t want to be all hugged up on people.
Do you play any sports? If so, did you meet new friends that way? No.
Where are you planning on going to college if you’re planning on going? I already went, saw, and conquered college. 
Do people ever make fun of you for something you really cant help? Not to my face, thankfully, but I’m sure they have.
If you definitely had to, what would you label yourself, and why? Emo.
Do you have any pets who will bite anyone else out there, besides you? She’s protective of us.
Have you ever tried chocolate chip waffles? Are they now your favorite? I think I have before.
What company are you signed up for car insurance, if any at all?
Are you someone who really likes to cook? What’s your favorite meal? Nope.
Do you own any scarves? How many and what colors are all of them? No, I don’t like to wear them I can’t stand anything around my neck like that. Plus, it doesn’t get cold enough here for one.
As a kid, did you ever go to camp? Which one did you go to anyway? I went to science camp and Girl Scout camp.
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loserholland · 6 years ago
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In love with my best friend
Peter Parker
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pairing ➺ Peter Parker x Reader
Warning ➺ Smut, drunk!Liz lol, swearing
Word Count ➺  3,521
Summary ➺ After a night-out with some old friends, the truth final comes out.
A/N ➺  They’re in college (: & italicized text is flash back 
☞  Masterlist  ☜
  Ten months, finally over. Freshman year of college at Columbia University has come to an end which meant, no more late nights of staying up to cram as much information for the exam she’ll be taking later that day, no more endless term papers, finally no more of seeing the teacher’s that didn’t care. One thing you should know about college, you miss one day of class the teacher won’t care, miss two weeks the teacher still wouldn’t care. Overall my point is, some teachers don’t give a shit if you show up or not because you’ll be wasting your parents money while they still get paid to teach a half dead class. Well Freshman year of college is over and now though you were beaten you were also wiser from what you have learned from your first year.
 Entering Sophomore year, you’ll know what to expect. Know when you could go to party’s your friends would try to drag you along to instead of staying to finish an essay, knew how what studying methods worked to help you score at least a B or a decent 90% on a test. After learning the ropes at Colombia University you were ready for Sophomore year and you tonight you were going to hangout with your friends someone you were excited to see was Peter Parker. Since exam week was so hectic the two best friends barely saw each other, if they did all they’d say was a simple ‘Hello’ ‘Sorry I’ve been so busy’ ‘Exams, it’s so hectic’. We both decided to go to Colombia while Liz  and Ned went to NYU which was about twenty minutes away from Colombia depending on the traffic, MJ went to Princeton University because and I quote “Michelle Obama went to Princeton”.
 Something (Y/N) and Peter did if they felt stress or wanted to rant about what had happened during their day they’d go to Central Park, since it was within walking distance of the University. It was a good twelve minute walk to get to Central Park, the two would lay on the green grass on The Great Lawn (Y/N) head would rest of Peter’s shoulder while his cheek would be pressed against the crown of her head. Laying under the cotton candy sky with Peter by her side it was as if everything she was pissed off about slipped off her shoulders, the friends and families at the park sharing laughter disappeared, it felt as if it was just the two of them.
 There was no denying that (Y/N) had feelings for Peter, she simply pushed it away ever since high school. When Peter had told (Y/N) he was crushing on Liz Allan her heart broke into a million pieces, her facial expression changed which Peter had noticed asking her “Hey, are you okay?” which she simply replied with a smile to mask the pain she was feeling whispering “Yeah I’m okay.”
 It felt so cliché falling for your best friend just like every other wattpad story, falling for your best friend since childhood, developing feelings for him entering high school and not confessing your feelings because he has a crush on someone else. 
 After a long hot steamy shower (Y/N) dug through her draws searching for her outfit for tonight pulling out a long-sleeved mesh bodysuit and a baby pink leather skirt along with a black Victoria’s Secret bra and black lace thong. She brought out her shoe organizer that was tucked away under her bed to grab her Pearl pumps by Steve Madden, the only pair of comfortable heels she owned. It was closed toe so no one at the club would accidentally step on her toes and had a thick block heel making it a lot more comfortable for her to walk in and dance in.
 She left her hair natural not wanting to curl or straighten it since it would get messed up in a couple of hours after being surrounded by a ton of body heat, she applied some Fenty Gloss bomb keeping her makeup all natural not wanting it to melt off her face and tons of oil and sweat would build up on her face.
 Peter stood outside (Y/N) dorm knocking a few times to let her know he was outside. He shoved his hands into his front pocket rocking back and forth on his heels looking around the dorm hall to see how empty it was, (Y/N) went to open her dorm door to see her best friend standing outside. Peter’s head snapped to meet (Y/N) his eyes racked her outfit taking in how beautiful she looked, his breath was caught in his throat his mouth was agape and his heart stopped beating for a second.
 “Peter? Are you okay?” (Y/N) questioned waving a hand in front of Peter’s dazed face causing him to swallow the lump that had built up in his throat “Huh- Oh! Y-yeah I’m okay, i-it’s just you look beautiful.” Peter stuttered while rubbing the back of his neck a small brush painted their cheeks.
 (Y/N) brushed the baby hair behind her ear taking in Peter’s outfit it was simple yet stylish a blue and green plaid flannel with a grey shirt underneath, blue denim jeans and white Chuck Taylor’s  “You don’t look too shabby yourself Parker. Let me go grab my purse and we could go, our uber should be here any minute.” (Y/N) moved around her room placing her phone into her black quilted fanny pack.
 Peter couldn’t help but stare at his best friend, she was so beautiful and that outfit.. the mesh top showing off her black bra she wore underneath and the baby pink skirt hugged her waist perfectly. “Peter are you okay? MJ was asking you a question, you’ve been off this evening.” (Y/N) told her best friend they were standing in line waiting to get into the club, MJ was asking him a question but got no response looking over at Peter’s dazed face.
 “Y-yeah I’m fine.” he gulped looking away from (Y/N) to see MJ glaring at him playfully "You like her huh?” she mouthed making Peter’s eyes widened shaking his head from side to side “No!” he mouthed back causing MJ to break out into laughter causing (Y/N), Ned, and Liz to stare at her confusingly “What’s so funny?” Ned questioned looking between Peter and MJ who shrugged off Ned’s question “Nothing.. just thought of something funny.”
 Music blared through the speakers, neon lights being the only light source in the club pushing through a sea of bodies attempting to reach the bar having to yell “Excuse me” or “Sorry pardon me” over the music was a pain in the ass. People glared at you and MJ when we’d accidentally bump into them, gosh all this body heat and the stench of alcohol reminded (Y/N) why she never liked going to parties or clubs. Once they reached the bar MJ order shots and a few drinks to be delivered to a table Liz had reserved, we began to walk back to the table staying close to one another.
 “So.. still have a crush on Parker?” MJ yelled over the music (Y/N) elbowed MJ’s ribs playfully “Yeah..” she answered slowly approaching the table “Well, you should tell him before the alcohol beats you to it.” MJ said in a singsong voice.
  After a few shots (Y/N) decided that was enough, wanting to be the designated friend to call an uber to get them back to their dorms safely, (Y/N) sat next to Peter leaning into his embrace resting her head on his shoulder as they laughed along with Liz who was currently reminiscing high school memories. 
 “Yunno.. Peter still looks at (Y/N) the same way he did in highschool.. with hearts eyes like like a puppy in love!” Liz slurred pointing her index finger at Peter “When we were at the homecoming dance I saw the look in your eyes Peter.” Liz pointed two V-sign fingers first at her eyes then Peter “When you saw (Y/N) dancing with Flash there was a sadness in your eyes.. like you asked me out but you weren’t fully there.. like you wanted to dance with (Y/N). Then you ditched me for some kind of important ‘thing’” Liz continued on chugging on the drink she hand in her hand “You have the chance now! Tell her Peter turn to her and say (Y/N) I feel the same way!” Liz cupped MJ face dramatically as Peter and (Y/N) stared at her in shock. 
 “Okay! No more drinks for you Liz drink water and water only.” MJ instructed causing Liz to pout “Wow that was uh that was something.” Ned mumbled lifting his glass of beer into the air then brought it back to his lips drinking the brown liquid. 
The rest of the night was a bit awkward after Liz’s little performance, after a few more drinks and a little bit of dancing by the time it was a quarter to one and everyone was about ready to head back to their dorms. (Y/N) and Peter walked MJ, Ned, and Liz to their uber, MJ was going to stay the night at Liz’s dorm.
MJ hugged both Peter and (Y/N), though when she hugged (Y/N) she whispered “Tell him okay? Liz basically admitted his feelings for him.” (Y/N) nodded pulling away so MJ could slip into the passenger seat of the Toyota civivc.
The club was in walkable distance of the university, they walked side by side in uncomfortable silence, unsure if they should speak or not they shared glances of one another but never held it for too long. He walked her to her dorm they stood about a few feet away from one another waiting for someone to speak first, (Y/N) glanced to see Peter was staring at his shoes “Tell him okay? Liz basically admitted his feelings for him.” MJ voice echoed through her mind (Y/N) eyes fluttered shut as she let out a shaky breath causing Peter looked up at her confusingly.
“Hey, you okay?” Peter questioned walking closer to his best friend noticing her breathing was rigid “(Y/N), hey what’s wrong?” Peter questioned again and still got no response from (Y/N).
 (Y/N) opened her dorm room walking in as Peter followed “Hey (Y/N) what’s wrong?” Peter’s voice was laced with worry his hand wrapped around her wrist to turn her around “(Y/N).” Peter whispered looking into (Y/E/C) eyes, his beautiful chocolate brown eyes were filled with worry.
They were both sober, so the words that were about to leave her mouth was nothing but the truth and not drunk slurs, “What Liz said.. is it true? Because if it is.. I feel the same way, I’ve had feelings for you from the beginning of freshman year of high school and when you told me you had feelings for Liz my-my heart broke and tonight when Liz said all the things she said I-I just want to hear it from you. Peter I-I’m gosh dammit  I-I I fucking love you as more than a friend.. well of course you know I love you more that a friend I just told you h-” Peter cupped (Y/N) face capturing her lips, she stood there shocked her hands pressed against his chest.
 Peter pulled aways slowly smiling at (Y/N) shocked expression “I love you too” Peter began “Everything Liz said was true.. I thought I liked her but when I saw you dancing with Flash my feelings were clearly for you I never thought Liz picked up on my sudden mood change but I guess she did.” (Y/N) giggled intwining her hand with his “You aren’t good at hiding things Spider-man.” (Y/N) joked remembering the time Peter first revealed he was Spider-man.
 It was a quarter past midnight and (Y/N) was ready to go to bed, after spending almost three hours on her english essay which was a lot more longer than she anticipated, taking AP english was so stressful especially if Ms.Hoover never responds to emails nor offer extra time. She laid on her side her eyes fluttering shut allowing sleep to consume her till she heard a knock on her window, she turned around to see the newest superhero of New York Spider-man. He was clutching his rib in pain a gasp left her lips as she rushed to open her window allowing the superhero in red and blue into her room.
 He let out soft grunts as (Y/N) set him on her floor “Let me go get the first aid kit.” she mumbled rushing into her bathroom that was connected to her room sliding open one of the draws under the sink to take the first aid kit out. (Y/N) settled the kit next to her sitting criss cross next to Spider-man, though he was a superhero she felt anxious, the person under the mask could be a murderer well he wouldn’t be saving peoples lives.. “Don’t freak out okay?” Spider-man spoke he had sensed what she was feelings he brought his hand up to the mask pulling it off to reveal who he was.
 (Y/N) let out a huge gasp “P-p-peter!” her hand covered her mouth, her eyes were widened “You’re Spider-man” she mumbled as Peter nodded weakly.
 (Y/N) locked her dorm door she turned around to see Peter had took his shoes off and was awkwardly standing around her room, he had been in her room when he’d pick her up and walk her to class or studying for chem but he never got to actual observe her room. She strolled over to him her hands brushed onto his shoulders pushing down onto her twin sized bed and straddled his lap, she ran her fingers through his hair capturing his lips with hers.
 Peter’s hands rested on her waist his thumb brushing against the black mesh of her bodysuit, (Y/N) tugged at his soft curls a small grunt slipped past Peter lips allowing access for their tongues to dance on one another. Her hands trailed to his shoulder tugging at his flannel so he’d take it off which caused Peter to pull away breathlessly looking into his best friends eyes “A-are you sure?” (Y/N) smiled cupping his face pulling him into another kiss her thumb brushed against his cheeks “I’ve never been so sure in my entire life.” (Y/N) stood up from Peter lap undoing her pumps stepping out of them moving to her skirt undoing the zipper on the back of her skirt tossing the baby pink item somewhere around the room. Moving to her shirt undoing the button lifting the shirt over her head tossing it to where her skirt was, leaving (Y/N) in her bra and black lace thong.
 Peter sat there gawking at your figure scrambling to his feet stripping off his flannel, lifting his grey t-shirt over his head moving to his belt hastily undoing it tossing it to the pile of clothes they had built up he then undid his button to his pants as it pooled around his ankles he was quick to kick it off leave them in their undergarments. (Y/N) smiled wrapping her arms around Peter’s neck pulling down slightly as their lips met, the kiss was slow and passionate which only lasted a few seconds quickly turning heated and sloppy his hands tapped the back of her thigh she jumped slightly wrapping her legs around his waist turning them around so she’d rest on her bed.
 (Y/N) arched her back reaching behind to unhook her bra sliding it off her arms and tossing it to the pile of clothes, Peter pulled away his gazed fixed on her chest his sat between her legs staring at her boobs “C-can I touch them?” he whispered as a small giggle left (Y/N) lips “Yes Peter.” she watched as the curious boy she loved moved his hands over her boobs giving them a small squeeze. (Y/N) brushed her thigh over his hard shaft Peter let out a shaky breath as his right hand trailed to her heated core applying slight pressure to her clit. 
 Peter began to lower his head down to her core but she grabbed his face with two hands giving him a quick kiss “No, we can do that next time but right now I need you inside of me.” Peter got off the bed slipping his boxer’s off as (Y/N) mimicked his actions taking off her underwear tossing it onto the ground.
“Uh Petey.. a condom?” (Y/N) questioned Peter turning to his pants grabbing his wallet and pulled out a condom. He got back onto the bed rolling the condom onto his hard shaft as (Y/N) gulped looking at the size of Peter “Don’t worry we can go slow.” Peter whispered causing you to nod slowly.
 He lined himself up at your entrance slowly pushing the tip in a small gasp left your mouth causing Peter to pull out “W-what’s wrong?” he asked worriedly “Nothing it’s just um.. this is going to be my first time.. you’re going to be taking my uh ‘v’ card.” Peter smiled kissing her again “I’m glad my first time is with you.” Peter slowly pushing his tip back in a small grunt left his lips “Y-you’re really tight.” he mumbled as (Y/N) rolled her eyes playfully “Yeah like I said early this is going to be my first time Parker.” he slowly pulled his tip in and out then pushed his entire length into her.
 (Y/N) blinked back the tears as Peter slowly moved his hips forward a small gasp left her lips as she reached up to hold onto his back “D-do you want me to stop?” Peter questioned (Y/N) shook her head no “You can move Peter.” she mumbled as Peter listened to what she had said slowly continued to insert himself stopping once he had himself inside you unsure if he should thrust into you “Peter move.” (Y/N) whispered as a faint blush painted his cheeks “U-uh right.” he began to thrust in and out of her as small moans left her lips the pain slowly turning into pleasure.
 “Peter you can uh pick up the pace.” (Y/N) moaned Peter lifted her left leg over his shoulder giving him a better angle to hit just the right stop “I read some where online..” Peter groaned mid-sentence letting out a shaky breath as (Y/N) threw her head back in pleasure “that if I do this.. I could hit just the right spot.” he thrusted into her again as (Y/N) let out a small gasp her mouth forming into an O “Bingo.” Peter whispered continuing to thrust his hips at a moderately faster speed. The pleasure was so hard to explain honestly no words could explain how good it felt, (Y/N) let out a loud moan as Peter leaned his head forwards towards your neck nipping and sucking on the skin creating several hickeys.
 He sucked and nipped at your sweet spot making you mewl in pleasure bringing your hands to his hair tugging slightly as Peter continued to thrust in and out slowing his pace slightly pulling out and thrusting into you hard as a she felt her lower stomach tighten at the pleasure she was feeling “Peter.. I-I think I’m gonna cum.” her chest moved up and down as she tried to pace her breathing. Peter moved down to your breast sucking on your left as the other was in his right hand, he pulled away to reveal his swollen red lips “I know baby me too.” Peter rested his forehead against his thrust began to get sloppy he groaned when he felt your walls clench around him. 
 “If you continue to do that I won’t last.” he grunted he removed your leg from his shoulder resting it onto the bed his hands gripped your waist picking up his pace “O-oh Peter.” she moaned feeling her stomach tighten and walls clench “Come on (Y/N) cum for me come on.” Peter cooed as she through her head back in pleasure a scream leaving her lips experiencing her first orgasm as Peter followed not too long after. 
 He slowly pulled out of her rolling the condom off and tying it walking into your bathroom to toss it into the trash and wet a towel to clean you up. He handed you your underwear and his grey shirt as he slipped on his boxer’s then got into bed with (Y/N). They laid there staring at each other with cheeky grins Peter kissed her forehead wrapping his arms around her waist “I’m taking you out on a date later today.” it was already 2:47 in the morning “Hmm, you didn’t ask if I was busy.” (Y/N) teased as Peter rolled his eyes playfully “You’ll be busy with me now get some sleep.” he mumbled closing his eyes while (Y/N) rested her head in the crook of his neck “I love you.” she mumbled closing her eyes allowing sleep to consume her. 
 “I love you too.” was the last thing she heard before she fell into a deep slumber.
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theperidotshade · 6 years ago
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hamelin-born replied to your post “Part Three of Ardyn Saves Regis on a Whim (which really needs a title,...”
*quietly loses mind* YES THIS IS SO GOOD YESSSSSS...
This snippet was crammed full of various Crowning Moment of AWESOME moments. I just - gah.
Regis just - just taking in all the small things as they drive through the smoking shell of the city - HIS city. The cat, oh the CAT - I don't know why, but I just. Love that small detail?
And SOMNUS. Somnus, being utterly and totally IN SHOCK at Ardyn deciding to save Regis. In shock, and that - that instant regret, that 'what have I DONE' moment. Was - was Somnus reacting to what Ardyn said about how he loved his brother, so much, more then just about anything?
And Somnus - basically telling Regis to 'make things right'. And - 'our line's greatest folly'? that's - more or less an admission of guilt, of wrongdoing. That is Somnus, admitting that he was /wrong/.
I'm not sure if I want Ardyn to learn of that conversation, or never to learn.
And just. I love the increasing strain that Regis observes in Ardyn as the time goes by. It's just - so very human, for all that the man is decidedly NOT.
Reckless? ARDYN saying something's reckless. Well. That should say something about the entire enterprise.
And GAH. Exploding the dropships via Ullador! Driving /through/ the roadstop/barrier! Just. So many, many good things!
And YES to Regis' realization that 'immortal' is /literal/. And - Regis is a smart man; I'm sure he can think of so many, many ways in which immortality is a literal /curse/. In which - being unable to die is the literal worst thing imaginable.
I wonder - Regis noticed the 'black blood', but does he really GET that Ardyn's blood is /literally/ black?
Wait until Regis sees the Scourge!face. That's - going to be an interesting time.
And love all the little details about Ardyn's Ama! Does - does Regis realize that he's literally talking to another King of Lucis? (once a king or queen of Lucis, always a king or queen of Lucis...) Ardyn hadn't explicitly SAID as much, but - well.
And Regis is just. Giving all the right reactions to the revelations Ardyn is literally drowning him in. And his shock, his horror, it's - helping Ardyn, I think. A little. It's the first time he's told /anyone/ this story, and it's - getting a reaction that helps him.
It's just. Regis is slowly realizing that the thing with Noctis? The so-called 'Chosen King'? The Astrals have /done this before/. This is the /second/ time around, and the first time - well. The first time was no kinder then the most recent iteration. The /first/ Chosen King is sitting right next to him.
/*grins*/ Wait until Regis learns that basically it was Shiva et al who gave Ardyn the order to work with Niflheim for precisely these ends.
Wow, I don’t know what to say. *blushes*
I’m so glad you enjoyed it!  This fic is enormously fun to write, and it makes me so happy others like it too.
The cat thing—okay, I have a bit of a story to tell about that, so I’m gonna put the rest of my reply under a cut.
Fair warning, it involves a natural disaster.
So, back in 2011, when I was still in high school, I lived in an area of the US that gets a lot of tornadoes.  Like, three to four on average every spring and every fall.
March/April 2011 was an unusual spring, though, because an enormous supercell swept across all of the Southern US, including my hometown.  Hundreds of tornadoes touched down in a single storm over the course of three days.
My town was...relatively untouched, although I do have trauma relating to that specific storm.
But the day after the storm passed over, I had to catch a flight to Massachusetts to visit colleges as a prospective student, and the airport I was flying out of was a couple hours away, in the center of the area worst-hit by the storm.
So my mom drove me out to meet my dad at the airport, and we were driving through absolute devastation.  Like, buildings completely gone, debris and rubble everywhere, trees fallen on buildings and cars, standing water in places.
But I don’t remember a whole lot about the destruction itself, other than the horror and shock I felt.
What I remember instead are the little things.  The handwritten ‘sold out’ signs in the windows of every gas station and convenience store.  Branches drifting by in a flooded river.  A dog trotting along the side of the road.  People standing in their yards, looking at where their houses used to be, not doing anything but talking quietly.  Just little, insignificant details that somehow managed to catch my eye.
That’s the feeling I was trying to capture in that scene with Regis—how the strangest things can draw your eye in the middle of all that destruction, and how they sort of seem dreamlike or unreal, but they’re going to be what you remember anyway.
And some of them make you feel better, in a way, because not everything is lost.  There’s still life there.
That cat is going to be one of the things Regis clings to, going forward, because it was just so ordinary in a setting that was decidedly not, and that made it extraordinary.
As for Somnus, well.  Hearing Ardyn say he loved him that much, seeing him accuse Bahamut of using them all, seeing Bahamut flee rather than give an answer—that really struck home to him that he’d made a horrific mistake.  He gave up his brother for reasons that didn’t really exist the way he thought they did, and oh, how that hurts.  And he can’t make it right—but maybe Regis can.
Ardyn is...probably not going to learn about that conversation for a very long time.  Because Regis, now that he has some idea of what Somnus meant, knows that it has to come from Somnus to really mean anything.  Which means two things: 1) it’s gonna have to wait for Ardyn to be in either the presence of the Ring or Somnus’ tom; and 2) it’s going to require more time than would really be readily available to them for a while.
I love writing Ardyn from Regis’ POV for exactly that reason: that I can use little cues to remind us all of just how human Ardyn is, despite his immortality and very, very dubious decisions.
Ardyn’s idea of ‘reckless’ is definitely a bit skewed, lol.  Hence why he uses it only in connection to a stunt that 1) requires him to take his hands off the wheel, 2) involves MASSIVE EXPLOSIONS, and 3) had a significant chance of not working or being only partially effective.
And Regis doesn’t object to that one, mind, because he too likes MASSIVE EXPLOSIONS.  And ramming through things that should not feasibly be rammed through.
They definitely feed each other’s destructive tendencies, self- or otherwise.
Yeeesss, Regis has Thoughts about this immortality thing.  Especially since, mind, he just lost at least two close friends, which he...hasn’t fully processed yet.
The full mechanics of ‘Immortal Accursed’=‘Healer and King who took the Starscourge into himself’ have also not been fully processed yet, which will be fun (not).
Regis is going to come to that particular realization slowly. Right now, he knows intellectually that yeah, Ardyn was probably a King of Lucis, but the things that that means they have in common haven’t really occurred to him yet.  It’s going to be things that become relevant in the days to come, as Regis, Cid, and Cor start salvaging what they can of Lucis.  And, well, Ardyn’s there too, he’s not just going to sit around and do nothing.
Regis’ reaction is actually helping Ardyn, yeah.  It’s—nice, to know that what happened to him is something other people consider wrong too.  That not everyone will side with the Astrals as Somnus did.
And the parallels are really hitting Regis hard already, even if he’s refusing to think about it at the moment.  The fact that Ardyn hasn’t actually referred to Noctis by name or title in this fic yet, you may or may not have noticed, is significant, because all the other players he has named when he’s referred to them.  Noctis is perhaps the only one directly involved that Ardyn doesn’t resent—and yes, I’m including Luna in that, for reasons I’ll explore in later installments.  (Basically, it has to do with the fact that of everyone involved, she is the one following his path—they aren’t necessarily good reasons, but emotions aren’t exactly logical).
And yeah, at some point Regis is going to have to confront the fact that his gods were gunning to destroy everything he holds dear.  It’s—not gonna be pretty.
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tmsbrainrot · 6 years ago
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Daydreamer (Version 1)
Summary: You were perfectly happy to pine after your study buddy, Kim Junmyeon, quietly and without expectation. That was until his roommate, Park Chanyeol, got involved. Appointing himself as your wingman, Chanyeol makes it his mission to get the two of you together. Do you dare get your hopes up? Will Chanyeol’s plan be a success, or will it end in heartbreak?
Genre: College!AU, DrummerYeol!AU, fluff, angst
Word count: 1,879
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | ?
The 20 minute drive to Chanyeol and Junmyeon’s apartment was the most fun you’d had in months. Your nights usually consisted of reading at the park, going home and studying, sleeping, getting woken up by your roommates, yelling at your roommates, then going back to sleep. You were fully aware of how sad that sounded so you didn’t mention it to Chanyeol. Not that you’d had the chance to mention anything to him. He’d talked the entire journey.
First, he’d spent five minutes calling you old for storing your music on CD’s. Apparently you needed to “get with the times” and “stop living in the past”. When he’d accused people like you of destroying iPod and MP3 sales you’d seriously considered pulling over and shoving him out of the car. He had then spent another five minutes lamenting your, quote, “emo 13-year-old” music taste.
“My Chemical Romance broke up in 2013. Get over it already!”
That had been the last straw. You’d exploded and told him to put his music on seeing as though you clearly needed educating on acceptable music. He had completely ignored the sarcasm dripping from your words and had produced a ridiculously tiny MP3 player from his voluminous hoodie pocket. He had also ignored your comment about how the MP3 player looked like a tic tac in his giant hands.
The following ten minutes had consisted of Chanyeol playing a variety of songs and explaining to you in a deadly serious voice that each song held the key to happiness within its melody. He’d explained, in great detail, the meaning of the lyrics for each song. He’d even explained how the instruments came together to produce different sounds and the affect the sounds produced had on the mind and body. It was all very interesting, although you didn’t understand a lot of the jargon he’d used. Still, listening to him speak with such passion was inspiring and left you with a warm feeling deep in your chest.
You’d been strangely saddened when you’d pulled up to his apartment block. The two of you had successfully removed Junmyeon’s bike from where it was crammed in the back seat and Chanyeol had turned to you with a sigh. “I guess this is goodbye.”
You’d laughed. “God, you’re so dramatic.”
“Please,” he’d said, covering his eyes with his hand and sniffling, “don’t make this any harder than it already is.”
Rolling your eyes, you’d got back into the driver’s seat and rolled down your window. “I’ll see you around, you giant baby,” you’d called out, pulling away.
“Miss you already!” he’d shouted back, waving enthusiastically and smiling that toothy smile that you couldn’t help but copy.
It wasn’t until you’d got to your apartment that you realised he had left his MP3 player in the passenger seat. Probably fell out of the cave that he calls a pocket, you thought wryly. Seriously, why does he wear a hoodie two sizes too big? Someone that tall has no business looking so small. Besides, if he’s going for the soft boyfriend look it’s not like he needs help from oversized clothes. Not with those sparkling eyes or adorable ears. Not to mention his fluffy hair and contagious smile... You felt your lips stretch into a grin as you unlocked the door to your apartment, MP3 player tucked into your jacket pocket.
Despite the fact that you had to be up in five hours for work you were filled with excitement. What had started off as an ordinary week was now a week of possibilities. Thanks to Chanyeol your flame of hope was now a raging fire, demanding that action be taken before it consumed you. Your study session with Junmyeon was scheduled for Sunday, giving you six days to come up with a plan of action. Plenty of time.
You’d dreamt up various versions of your confession, however being faced with the opportunity to make those daydreams reality shed light on how outlandish and embarrassing they actually were. You sifted through imagined scenarios as you got ready for bed, discarding the majority of them outright and picking apart the ones you sort of liked until you began to hate them. When you realised you’d been brushing your teeth for a good twenty minutes you decided to give up and tackle the problem again tomorrow.
Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 10:32am] : morning study buddy! sorry to disturb you when you’re working but my roommate chanyeol told me you helped him out last night with the whole bike thing. can you believe that punk tried to convince me that he bandaged his own hands then rode home by himself? he’s always been a shitty liar. don’t worry, i didn’t beat him up that bad... haha! anyway, i just wanted to say thanks for looking after the kid. if you hadn’t been there he probably would’ve done something stupid and ended up getting seriously hurt. i owe you one!
Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 10:34am] : btw he keeps asking for your number. says he left something in your car? you mind if i give him your number?
Me [sent at 11:00am] : no worries, i’m on break now anyway :) i couldn’t ignore a person in need. i’m too much of a saint for that. jk lol. you don’t owe me anything. yeah, he left his mp3 player in my car. you can give him my number
Me [sent at 11:01am] : also i didn’t think you were the type to beat up an injured man dr junmyeon! wow, chanyeol was right about you...
Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 11:02am] : a saint? pfff
Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 11:02am] : wait, what slander has chanyeol been spreading about me????
Me [sent at 11:03am] : i couldn’t possibly say
Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 11:03am] : you’ve changed. the daydreamer i know would never keep secrets from their favourite study buddy
Me [sent at 11:04am] :  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 11:06am] : i don’t want to give him your number now. he’s clearly a bad influence
Me [sent at 11:06am] : ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 11:09am] : meanie :(
Unknown [sent at 1:43pm] : y did jun send me a text with this number saying ‘you two deserve each other’???
Me [sent at 3:15pm] : chanyeol?
Unknown [sent at 3:16pm] : doc???
Me [sent at 3:17pm] : yeah lol
Chanyeol [sent at 3:17pm] : oh shit waddup
Me [sent at 3:19pm] : lmao he actually gave you my number
Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:20pm] : was he not supposed to??
Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:20pm] : y??
Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:20pm] : do u not like me??? :’(
Me [sent at 3:21pm] : dude chill. he said he wasn’t going to that’s all
Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:22pm] : so u do like me????????
Me [sent at 3:23pm] : you can’t see me right now but i’m rolling my eyes
Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:23pm] : i’ll take that as a yes
Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:40pm] : what r u doing?
Me [sent at 3:43pm] : i’m at work
Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:44pm] : shit, my bad. i’ll stop bothering u
Me [sent at 3:47pm] : it’s cool. i’ll text you when i’m off
Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:47pm] : :)
Once your shift ended you gathered your things from the staff locker, pulling on your jacket and patting the pocket to make sure Chanyeol’s MP3 player was still there, safe and sound. You’d messaged him as soon as you’d clocked out and he’d messaged you back immediately. The speed at which he replied was both endearing and a little worrying. He must be pretty attached to his phone if he can reply so quickly, you thought.
You’d arranged to meet at the park before heading to class so you could return his belonging. When you pulled up to the car park you saw him sitting on the curb, his long legs folded awkwardly and his hands on his knees. He was wearing the same black cap and hoodie, although he had traded the skinny jeans for sweatpants and the sneakers for the ugliest white shoes you’d ever seen. His head snapped up as you parked and he unfolded his limbs with visible difficulty, pushing himself up from his sitting position and loping over to you.
“Hey there,” he said, beaming at you. You grinned back, looking up at him and noticing a dimple had appeared on his left cheek. Your gaze rose to meet his sparkling eyes and you felt a sudden surge of affection. Before you knew it you had wrapped your arms around him in a quick hug. He let out a small gasp, stiffening at your touch.
Stepping back hastily you felt your cheeks begin to heat up. “I, ah, sorry,” you said falteringly. “I don’t know why I did that.”
Chanyeol didn’t answer, he just chuckled and patted your head. “No worries, doc. I was just surprised. Usually I’m the one initiating the hug.”
You laughed awkwardly. “Yeah, I bet. You seem like the touchy feely type.”
“Is that a compliment?” he asked, head tilting to the side and smirk clear on his face.
“Sure,” you said, his laid-back attitude easing your awkwardness. “It’s cute. You’re like a golden retriever.”
He pursed his lips and furrowed his brow. “You know, I feel like you’re making fun of me, but at the same time you’re saying things that make me all warm and fuzzy inside. It’s confusing.”
“My apologies,” you said, grinning. “I’ll try to speak plainly so you can understand.”
“Ah,” he said, raising a finger, “now I know you’re making fun of me.”
“You’re welcome.”
Chanyeol’s eyes narrowed and the ghost of a mischievous smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “You’re playing a dangerous game, Daydreamer.”
You shrugged airily. “Yeah yeah. Do you want your portable music device or not. I got a class to go to.”
“Portable music device? Are you trying to hurt me?” Drama queen Chanyeol had returned.
Rolling your eyes you pulled the MP3 out of your pocket and held it out to him. As he reached out to take it you notice his hands. “I see you changed the bandages. Do they hurt?”
He shook his head. “Junmyeon helped me. He said you did a really good job of fixing them up. Very professional.”
Your heartbeat quickened and once again a blush spread to your cheeks. “Oh,” was all you managed to reply.
A strange look passed over Chanyeol’s face, too quickly for you to make out the meaning behind it before it was replaced with his usual half-grin.
You cleared your throat meaningfully. “Well then, I’ve got to go. Don’t want to be late to immunology.” You turned to leave, opening the driver’s side door.
“Wait,” Chanyeol said, grabbing your arm. He seemed to be debating something. He kept opening his mouth to speak then closing it, frowning.
“What is it?” you asked, becoming increasingly nervous.
Chanyeol huffed, pulled his cap off, ran his fingers through his hair, placed the cap back on his head, then nodded to himself.
“Are you in love with Junmyeon?”
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