#wouldn’t be as much of a drinker on their canon but

[sweetlovingfictionals]

Who knows how many Collins are out there? Not to mention how they would interact with each other.

I so so agree! There’s just so many AU’s out there that I can’t even IMAGINE what they are!

Though, I’m kind of toying with a Poly Ship!AU with Collin, Loona, and Mika because that’s my honest to god favorite ship besides uh… the usual incest one (iykyk) LMAO. But I genuinely Ship Loona x Collin as a fanon ship. I think Loona would be so adorable with Collin.

Though jsut that AU where Mika goes to Hell with Collin and Loona and it’s just them three in that Moment all together just all hanging out, Mika and Loona shooting back drinks (because who tf cares about underage drinking in Hell) and just Collin having to drive the two back to their apartment or back to the afterlife club and then just vomiting their guts out lmaoooo.

[silkentine]

All I could think while drawing Nami was, “Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy?” And, of course, with Robin I was thinking, “save a horse… 🥵”

Design Notes and other opining below the cut:

For Nami, I wanted to go for a mix of cocky Jersey mafia newbie and surfer boy. I like to think that some of the horrendous outfit choices that Sanji makes (especially in the movies) were actually picked out by Nami. She’s the shopper!!! But yeah, the vibrant swim trunks and graphic tees just scream Nami. I also wanted to put him in a wetsuit/rash guard because I think that’s a sexy look so sue me if you hate it. You cannot argue with me that Nami doesn’t wear swimsuits as clothes.

He’s toned but not as muscular as Robin or Luffy (for example) because he isn’t a front-line fighter, I want him to maintain the same kind of role that Nami has in the animanga. He’s the best navigator in the world!! I couldn’t decide if I wanted to change the violent tendencies that Nami has, but ultimately I think he’d still give the more deserving members of the crew a healthy wallop (although I might portray it more cartoonishly). Boy Piece!Nami still grew up under Arlong’s authority so he spent a lot of his childhood walking on eggshells to protect his village and his brother, Nojiko, so I think he never really got to learn “you’re not supposed to hit people just because they frustrate you” lesson. I gave him a shark-tooth necklace because surely Arlong had a few loose teeth to spare once Luffy took her down. Victory spoils LOL

If he can get the girls to stop wrestling and sit down quietly for a while, he likes to host card games (with betting, of course) or watch the clouds while sipping whatever fruity cocktail Sanji whips up. I believe that Canon!Nami is a total lesbian, and I can’t possibly envision a Nami who doesn’t like women so Boy Piece!Nami is bi. I am, of course, a Namivivi truther and Vivi is also a man in this AU. I don’t hate Sanami within this dynamic though… lots to think about.

Okay!!! All-shipper mindset aside, let’s talk Robin. I gave him long hair because 1) it’s hot and 2) I think it makes him look like Dragon. Yeahhh, I subscribe to the Luffy and Robin are half-siblings theory because I think it’s funny and makes some sense. Crocodile is 100% Luffy’s Mom in this AU and I think Robin knows it LOL

For his outfits, I wanted to lean a bit more Indiana Jones where I could; he’s still primarily cowboy inspired though. For the main look, I went with the Skypeia color palette hehe, I think Robin looks good in yellow. I did some flower-petal shaped color blocking on his chaps because I think it’s cute and subtle. I really love that the powers of the Hana-Hana-no-mi are like… unexpected for a “flower flower” fruit and I think Robin would be more aware that juxtaposition as a guy. You might also be wondering about the gloves and I initially just had it for his cowboy look but I decided to put them on all the outfits up until the events of Enies Lobby. Canon!Robin has a really difficult childhood and I think it’s exacerbated by the fact that she’s a girl on her own. If Robin was a boy, he’d probably have an easier time living on his own but would be a lot less emotionally open. All of these elements combine to make him want that physical barrier between his real hands and the world. Once he can trust that the Strawhats will always be there for him, he’s more willing to be more physically open.

I also think it’d be cute if he was much more of a coffee drinker :3c I see Canon!Robin as a connoisseur who likes a well-brewed espresso but Boy Piece!Robin needs a cup of joe (no matter its quality) every chance he can get. So I drew him with his special #1 ARCHAEOLOGIST mug.

It would make me so happy if you left your thoughts in the tags or replies!! Even if you hate everything about them, I just really like engagement hahaha. I’m thinking girl Usopp is next despite the poll results because she’s on my mind rn (don’t hold me to this, LOL I’m fickle). I’m making these for fun so I just wanna make designs in the order that interests me the most. Check out the tag “girl piece” on my blog to see all the genderbends I have so far. And happy pride!!!

[osamucide]

⊹ SEMI-CHARMED LIFE

SHE COMES 'ROUND AND SHE GOES DOWN ON ME AND I MAKE HER SMILE LIKE A DRUG FOR YOU . . . ft. Sigma and Osamu Dazai

wc: 6.4k

cw: sigma x dazai x gn(they/them)+afab!reader, post-canon/canon divergent, language, some plot, explicit sexual content—MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, threesome, coaching/guiding, fingering, handjobs, cunnilingus, nipple play, penetration, double penetration, double creampie, spit, teasing, dirty talk, so much kissing, praise, communication, squirting, soft sex, rough sex, hints of fluff and angst, soft dazai, a little bit of mean dazai, switch leaning soft dom!dazai, switch leaning sub!+virgin!sigma, switch!reader, pet names (baby, sweetheart, slut, whore—last two used very affectionately), use of cunt/pussy referring to reader’s anatomy, gambling/strip poker, alcohol+slight dubcon on account of that but otherwise all parties are happily consenting prior, references to pm!reader (and ada!sigma if you squint) but it’s not super relevant, some spoilers for vampire infection outbreak arc/prison break, god will judge me when i’m dead

reid: i have limited knowledge of texas holdem and a huge boner for sigzai. that’s all enjoy

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

“Son of a bitch.”

You sigh and lift your martini to your lips again. It should be too late for a martini, but Sigma's living quarters in the casino is outfitted with a less-than-modest liquor cabinet and while he didn't strike you as much of a drinker himself at first—not while he was on the job, anyway—he could bartend like you wouldn’t have believed had you never seen him do it. Vodka martini, no olive, please.

He had transferred it from his hand to yours with a soft smile that echoed his customer service face; however, he was significantly and refreshingly off the clock, so he addressed you playfully, “007,” as he did and laughed a little as he settled back onto the bed, cross-legged in a triangle made up of you, him, and Dazai.

But that was hours ago. The martini you sip now is your third, and Dazai had graciously made himself at home enough to messily pour up shots between poker games, so it’s safe to say you’re at least a little drunk. Sigma had been looking on in quiet irritation at him spilling remnants of expensive alcohol all over the expensive snakewood. The casino manager couldn’t seem to help but be disarmed by the detective every time he turned around, though, face beneath his messy brown hair alight with intoxication and beaming as he distributed yet another over-poured ounce of sake to both of you still on the duvet. You all drank, poker commenced, money was won and lost.

But that was just the first game. There’s higher stakes this time around.

“I have to fold.” You curse at your shitty hand once more and glance to Dazai, who’s flicking all of his little plastic chips toward the pot.

Of course it was Dazai who’d suggested the stipulations for this game, and of course it’s Dazai who is now letting the words “I’m all in” roll off his tongue while he looks charmingly bored and tipsy.

A few games would not be enough to figure out Dazai’s tells. In fact, a few hundred games would probably not be enough to learn to read him. If it wasn’t evident enough already from his excitement about the idea that he was unconcerned about his chances of being the one with the most clothing left on, it’s certainly evident in the way he’s relaxed now, his fist propping him up by his cheekbone. He peeks at his cards again from where he lounges on his side before he looks up to Sigma with bright eyes and a grin, quiet with mischief.

Sigma could go either way, it seems, from the way his tongue pokes out the corner of his mouth as he idles with an unruly stack of chips. He’s far more expressive, but this is his livelihood; it showed when he faked Dazai out of a 30,000 yen pot last game. Still, this time, this showdown, he pushes the rest of his pile into the center. All in.

The detective flips his cards, pinched between his middle and index finger. Straight flush.

Sigma clicks his tongue and whips his cards down onto the duvet. Straight.

“Hah!” Dazai kicks his feet like a child before sitting up to hoard the large pile. “You both know the rules,” he sings, copying Sigma’s posture as he grabs handfuls of his newly-won chips and lets them rain down over his head. A couple fall into his empty whisky glass.

You and Sigma look briefly at one other before both holding your drinks out for the conniving bastard in front of you to hold, which he does. There’s no agreed-upon piece with which you would begin to undress, so, like any sane person, you reach for your socks.

“Mh-mm,” Dazai hums his dissent through a sip of your martini. “I wanna change one rule. Losers have to undress each other.”

You roll your eyes. “It’s socks, Osamu.”

“Precedent,” he claims with a shrug, switching to take a sip of Sigma’s French 75.

So you and Sigma commence removing each other’s socks in a way that particularly lacks even a little sexiness, but when Dazai starts giggling, you both do, too. You ball Sigma’s socks up and toss them at Dazai’s head, which he dodges and swats back at Sigma. Sigma chucks your own socks at you in return for the indirect fire.

“Hey!” you bite jokingly through your teeth, discarding your socks off the little island of a bed that you exist on right now with these two men, and a moment of reflection strikes you as Dazai buries his face in his hands and Sigma almost tips backwards as they both laugh.

It started months ago in Meursault when you tumbled into the block where Gogol was challenging Dazai and Fyodor to his game after freeing them from the Infinite Dice Room. You, as a low-profile, high-priority Port Mafia affiliate aligned closely with the gravity user Chuuya Nakahara, had followed him into the prison as reinforcement; how Gogol and Dostoevsky were even aware of your existence then, you still aren’t sure. But you ended up there, watching Dazai and Fyodor shoot up lethal poison before dispersing to make their escape. You originally stayed with Nikolai to watch it unfold, but scampered off at some point when Chuuya appeared in danger of drowning. Your ultimate goal had been to help the Detective Agency and by proxy Dazai, but you’d be damned if you stood by while your executive was in a dire situation. It all turned out well, except for Sigma’s prolonged comatose state immediately after the prison break and everything that followed. But all that wasn’t important—not to right now, anyway.

What sticks in your mind and resurfaces now was the way you had watched on the monitor as Dazai—a former associate of yours, to say the least—paraded Sigma through the halls of the prison, teasing him, poking at him, dancing with him. It would’ve been borderline-adorable behavior from anyone sane in a normal situation, but Dazai had a way of driving people to the edge with the timing of his antics, and Sigma was quick to crumble under the pressure of the circumstance. What sticks more is how quickly the casino manager surrendered his trust to the quirky brunette inmate along their journey out of the building that day.

And what sticks most is how Dazai looked at him.

You remember observing a hint of something in his gaze that was usually only reserved for people who held important information, nurses in hospitals who’d taken his phone, occasionally you and Chuuya back in the day if he was feeling especially unhinged—the like.

And you remember looking at Sigma the same way over the screen—all sharp features, milky skin, elegant locks, and a hot trigger finger. His conviction over his purpose was alluring to you, who always understood your purpose to be pure survival. To Dazai, whose purpose seemed to be dying. Sigma was something entirely different from either of you, and when you all reconnected by the chance of business after the chaos, it was difficult to ignore the feelings dredged up from such a stressful time. It wasn’t like you’d always had your eye on Dazai or anything—no, surely not—but anyway, the click between the three of you back in Yokohama was inevitably pursued outside of work. A former DOA associate, an Armed Detective, and a Port Mafia subexecutive meeting up in the Sky Casino for drinks and Texas hold ‘em was certainly unprofessional in one capacity or another, sure, but you can hardly find it in yourself to care as Dazai hands you your martini back, face pink from cracking up.

It’s funny to you, how you never feel out of place between them. Sigma is leaning over onto your shoulder to stifle his dying laughter. You just shake your head as Dazai picks up the cards to deal.

The next game whirls by. You are the first to end up without a shirt, where Dazai and Sigma, both with their seemingly endless respective streams of luck, split the winnings over an evenly-matched two pair. You sit sheepishly after it’s your turn to deal, trying desperately, now that you’re losing in a tangible way (the three of you never use real money), to conjure up ways to gain back some ground and maybe not finish out the night as the only one naked.

“Sigma, deal,” Dazai purrs as if this isn’t Sigma’s show. You have your arms crossed over your chest as two cards flutter down in front of you, and you look at them, thinking, hoping—yes, maybe if Sigma would put a Jack down you could—

But any strategy you’re beginning to formulate is effectively zapped off, like a power button on a remote extinguishing a television’s display, as Dazai takes your wrists in his hands and guides them down to your lap.

“Why are you sitting like that?” he asks so innocently. “You’re hot. Stop hiding.”

You’d be blushing if it wasn’t for the alcohol making an appearance on your cheeks already. You giggle a little again, his touch making you feel more lightheaded than anything you’ve drank thus far. Sigma turns to you for your action, but your eyes are locked onto Dazai’s, so he does the only thing that makes the most sense in his own intoxicated mind—he grips your chin, not too harshly, and turns your head toward himself, in all his pastel, angelic beauty.

“Your turn,” Sigma says gently. While he doesn’t comment on what Dazai has said, and although his hand doesn’t hold the same menace that Dazai’s seems to, the tilt of his lips speaks a silent agreement.

Just as both of their fingers are beginning to overwhelm you, they retreat.

And you look down at your cards again, and your train of thought is as good as gone.

“Um—sorry, uh…”

You push 6000 yen into the pot, and Dazai follows.

And soon enough, like clockwork, you’re removing your pants—no, Dazai is removing your pants as Sigma gathers his winnings, and you’re unbuttoning Dazai’s shirt, and this has to be some sort of plot against you, you think, because the room is suddenly hotter, nevermind the alcohol, and you swear Dazai and Sigma are exchanging looks the way you and Dazai had months ago before leaving Meursault.

But you keep your composure. If there’s one thing you were used to dealing with, it’s sexy, scheming men, and it’s rare you ever let them get the best of you. Poker aside, you won’t crack. You can’t. Your drunkenness, now subsiding into hazy exhaustion and a twinge of need you won’t admit to yourself just yet, bolsters your pride, if anything. These two will not break you. You’ll make sure it’s the other way around first.

Another two games pass, and you finally have the mind and hand to win, which is what leads you to the scene of Sigma inching Dazai’s underwear down his thighs.

The casino manager’s face is broken out madly. He’d lost his own shirt but in all remains the most clothed out of all three of you; your dignity is preserved in your undergarments, and Dazai only ‘tsks as he steps out of his boxers just to lay back down on his side, propped up on his hand, in his spot on the bed.

“Well,” the detective laments, his practiced dramatics coming out to play. “I’ve officially lost. What to do now…?”

You look as unfazed as you can by Dazai’s nudity; Sigma’s eyes, however, are everywhere but the brunette.

You hum thoughtfully, considering your nails. You have your little heatstroke from before under control, it seems, but you’re biting your bottom lip raw at the shift in the energy of the room.

You crawl to sit against the headboard of the bed, shooing Dazai out of your way as you do so—it’s the same luxurious snakewood that the liquor cabinet is made from, and it doesn’t budge when you lean back against it. Dazai sits beside you, one leg curled beneath him and the other hanging off the edge of the bed as you kick the duvet down at Sigma, adjusting yourself so your bare legs are extended and crossed at the ankle. You smirk, only softly. Dazai scoots closer to you when your pinkie wraps around one of his fingers.

Sigma, hunched in on himself at the end of the bed, breathes deeply as you turn your gaze to him and pat the spot on the other side of you. He’s willed up by the expectant look on Dazai’s face, and he takes his seat at your side; he looks to the brunette across your side profile, and you hook each of your legs over one of theirs.

“What else is there to do?”

The question comes from you as you look between them, stroking both their knuckles; Dazai’s expression grows more sinister by the second, and he looks past you too, to Sigma, whose eyes are wide. You follow Dazai’s vision.

Sigma gulps and finds himself nodding. He knows what at, but he can’t bring himself to say it as you flick your gaze down to his parted lips.

You lean in.

“This okay?”

He’s still nodding. His head only stills when your hand leaves Dazai’s and reaches up to cup his face.

And you kiss Sigma with an open mouth. He shivers and leans into you. Your hand falls back to blindly search for Dazai’s cock.

Dazai is half-hard just watching you slip your tongue past Sigma’s lips; you thumb his tip teasingly, giving him a few squeezes and drawing soft breaths from him as the pastel-haired man reaches up for your neck. It’s obvious Sigma’s never kissed anyone like this before, but he follows your lead like a first-time ballroom partner, letting you nip the beginnings of moans out of him as Dazai watches, watches.

When you pull back, Sigma is in awe. His eyes don’t open for a few seconds, and you smile, endeared.

“You’re a good kisser, Sigma.”

His eyes snap open. “R-really?”

You nod. “But I think Osamu could train you even better.”

Something flashes across Sigma’s face—not discontent or anxiety but pure surprise, and you turn back to Dazai for his appraisal. He’s biting the inside of his cheek as your fingers work him up and down, torturously slow. Before anything else can happen, you lean into Dazai; he’s eager to receive your lips, force the gasps that belong to you into your mouth. You think you’ll play them like a pair of cymbals, if they let you. If Dazai lets you. It’s looking like he might.

You tilt your head back as Dazai works his way down your throat, leaving bruising bite marks as you touch him. You find Sigma glazed over in awe—the next thing you do is encourage his face toward yours again, so you can kiss him while Dazai marks you. You don’t hold back the sighs that come from your diaphragm. Sigma swallows your breath with greed. You cup his jaw, your noses bump; he grows more confident by the second, and as Dazai traverses back up your neck, you leave him whining, removing your hand from his cock to push the two men’s faces together.

Soft hums reverberate between their kiss. You look proudly upon your work as their hands find one another, frantically, on jaws, on shoulders, on chests. Sigma reaches to pick up where you left off, but second guesses himself.

“It’s okay,” you whisper to him. “Right, Osamu?”

“Mmhm.” Dazai bites into the other man’s bottom lip. Sigma yelps into the lack of air between them. You guide his hand, which finds Dazai at his base and sends him moaning into the kiss.

With your hand wrapped around Sigma’s wrapped around Dazai, you latch onto Dazai’s neck to return his bites. Your head buzzes with anticipation; it’s so hot to watch them, low-lidded and on two different levels of experience, talking to each other without speaking. You move Sigma’s hand up, down, up, down. Dazai breaks away to let a full-bodied moan into the air; he makes up for contact by resting his forehead against Sigma’s, peering down at where the two of you are working him into a mess.

“That’s it,” Dazai pants, but he looks smug. “Unh—feels good.”

“Hear that?” With your free hand you tuck a thick lock of Sigma’s silvery hair behind his ear as you mumble into it. “You’re doing so good.”

“Tell me what to do,” Sigma breathes, and he sounds so desperate that it makes you throb. “Don’t know what ‘m doing, please, tell me what to do.”

“Exactly what you’re already doing.” You let go of his hand and let him stroke Dazai by himself. Dazai nods weakly, needily, cock twitching as Sigma explores; the pale-haired man’s thumb circles his tip the same way yours did, but faster. When you lean over to spit on his cock over Sigma’s hand, the brunette’s jaw falls slack and the two melt into another kiss; you don’t even have to enlist Dazai’s hands as, through his pleasure, he fumbles for you. You uncross your ankles, and he rubs you impatiently over the final bit of cloth that remains on your body. Your lips find Sigma's throat next.

All heaving breath against each other, you move like this for a bit, learning one another. Dazai reaches to pop the button on Sigma’s pants as he’s tugging at your underwear at the same time.

You both turn your focus to Sigma as you kick your last layer off; he stumbles upward, back onto his feet, and you and Dazai pursue him as he’s helping you both push his pants and boxers off in one collaborative swipe. He’s never been hard like this before—sure, Sigma’s not a stranger to sexual arousal, but he’s only ever touched himself. Call it a side effect of the imposter syndrome or throwing himself into his casino or the fact that this is his first time being alive, but as Dazai sits on the edge of the bed looking like a hungry animal and you toss his pants away, he can’t imagine why any two people as physically gorgeous, intellectually dominant, and purpose-driven as the two of you would want to engage with him like this. He’s excited, he can’t deny it—his cock is straining almost painfully as it bobs in the air now—but there’s a line of tears forming on his lash line, and you’re fast to catch him.

“Sigma,” you call him back from inside his head. Dazai’s fingers have found his hip; they rest there tenderly. “Sigma. We can stop. It’s okay.”

“No,” Sigma all but cries. He aches to be touched the same way you and himself were both touching Dazai. “No, no, don’t stop, I just—I’m—”

A single tear splits down his pretty pale skin. He looks back and forth between you both.

“Sigma,” you say firmly. “Talk to us. It’s important.”

“I—” He gathers himself, voice cracking only once. “I want this. I want it so bad. I can’t believe I deserve it. You’re both… I just don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t want to... not be good.”

You look to Dazai, who looks uncharacteristically tired for a moment; it’s an understatement to say he understands exactly what Sigma is trying to articulate, but he’s not a man of sentiment, so you pick up the slack. Collaborative. You wind your fingers between Sigma’s and lead him to sit next to Dazai.

You stand, bare, in front of the two of them, also bare; they’re both so beautiful in their own ways. Dazai, with his dark features, cutting cheekbones, flexing jaw, bandages outlining the contours of all his lean muscle. Sigma, all heavenly light, awkward hands, unmarked skin, thin sheen of glistening sweat.

“You don't need to worry,” you reassure him. “We just want you. Right, Osamu?”

“Mmhm,” Dazai hums again. Not a man of sentiment, but he presses a series of kisses to Sigma’s cheek before smiling devilishly. “We’ll take care of you. How about that? Teach you how to fuck.”

Sigma shudders at his words; his eyes still flit nervously, but fall at rest when you sit opposite Dazai and run your fingertips across his thigh.

“Yes,” he responds just above a whisper. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Dazai echoes.

“Okay.” And you. “Can we touch you? Or d’you wanna watch us?”

Sigma contemplates. His cock jumps at the mere mental image of watching Dazai fuck you; he could get off like that and be totally content, but his mind drifts back to your hands, Dazai’s hands, and how selfishly he was campaigning for you both to touch him just minutes ago. “Touch me, please.”

Now it’s you looking across Sigma’s side profile at Dazai. He mirrors the look in your eye, and you lean over to press a kiss to the brunette's lips before you traverse the plane of Sigma’s chest. Dazai reaches for his cock.

And just like that, Sigma is in heaven. His hands fall behind him on the bed to steady himself as Dazai goes through a motion Sigma’s performed so many times on himself, but it feels so much better now—he doesn’t know if it’s Dazai’s calloused fingertips or the curling heat you both create in his pelvis by just kissing him, talking to him, loving on him—and he’s throwing his head back, embarrassed to make noise but in such ecstasy that he can’t help it, won’t help it. You giggle lightheartedly against the shell of his ear when he does, and he loves it. Loves it. Wants it to last forever. Dazai sucks on his collarbone and you tweak his nipples and he’s twitching, twitching, building up so quickly he’s afraid he’ll be spent soon.

"'M gonna... oh—gonna cum if you don't s-stop—"

But it isn't a request to, so when you and Dazai's hands both leave him, he's sent reeling just like you were during the last game. Sigma's chin meets his chest as he recovers from what feels like Dazai's revenge for the bluff that worked on him earlier, and he looks at you both, glazed over with lust.

Your eyes are so warm when they slide from Dazai back to him.

“So handsome. You’re gorgeous, Sigma.” It hardly matters who says it—the other agrees.

“Tell us what you want.”

"Well, um," he asserts, pulling his shaky legs up into himself and leading you by the arms to pull you back to the headboard. "This part seems pretty self-explanatory. Dazai, I think you should show me how to..."

You perch at the head of the bed again as he trails off, and Dazai looks like he's ready to have fun with what's coming next.

"Show you how to...?" he prompts Sigma to finish his sentence, and Sigma's nudging his way between your legs; your lips turn upward at his burst of enthusiasm, and the words get stuck a bit as he settles on his stomach in front of you.

"Touch them. I've really never done this before." He blinks up at Dazai. Weaponized incompetence has never been so sensual.

And Dazai takes the bait and crawls next to him, gripping your thigh a little too hard as he presses his shoulder to Sigma's. "Certainly. Give it your best shot, I wanna see what I'm working with here." It's so natural for Dazai to take on the mentorship position, even in this situation. You can't help the way you giggle at them; their eyes linger on each other a second too long to imply nothing before Sigma turns his attention to you.

You think he'll start with fingering you, but he dips his head down and goes right for your cunt—you're unable to suppress the oh! that leaves you as he licks a sensual and slow stripe from your hole to your clit. Knowing Sigma, you understand that his mind is probably still swimming with self-doubt as he rolls his eyes up to yours, but you can't find any of it. It's all too hot. His pretty pink lips undulate as he tastes you, delicately, and Dazai lets out a surprised noise of his own.

"Seems like you’re alright." Dazai's grinning. "But I'll help you out. Stay there."

So Sigma latches onto your clit, drawing another series of gasps out of you, and Dazai plunges his middle finger into you. You’re so slick, so ready for them that there's no resistance; Sigma's experimenting with his tongue, then his lips, then alternating, and Dazai keeps digging his fingertips into your thigh, your hip, as he works you open on his hand.

"God, with how wet you are, I think we could get you to take both of us."

Your eyes—which you hadn't realized had fallen shut as you wound each of your hands in either of their heads of soft hair—fly open at that. Sigma pulls away too. Tortorous.

"At the same time?" You're unsure if it comes out of your mouth, too, but Sigma asks it—with a sense of wonder that, had you said it, would've been overshadowed with a little apprehension. Dazai looks up to you for approval.

And while it's daunting—neither of them are small, that's for sure—you can't help the way your hips roll at the thought of being stuffed with them both. At the same time. How intimate it would inevitably be, their cocks pressed together as they fuck you. So you nod, vigorously.

"Gotta get 'em ready, though," he lectures to Sigma, snapping back to his instructorly tone as his hand falls on top of yours in his two-toned hair, pushing his face back into your cunt. "Put that mouth to work. You got it, baby."

Sigma hums against you at the nickname and the vibration sends your head lolling back again; Dazai looks wicked as he straddles your leg, still reaching down to split you open, now on three fingers instead of one or two. He kisses you hard.

The attention from both of them is unbelievable—you see now what had them both falling apart so quickly. Something about two sets of hands wandering your body sets lights off behind your eyes. Sigma’s reaching up to paw at your chest, flicking and pinching your nipples the same way you had his; before you know it you’re panting like a dog into Dazai’s mouth and soaking the bed below you.

“Fuck—you two.” You’ve got one hand still twined in Sigma’s hair. You’re almost grinding onto his nose, and he’s lapping up everything you’re giving him like a good boy. Your other arm winds around Dazai’s neck as you pull him closer and bend your knee to nudge his balls. He humps against what you give him. Lewd, wet sounds fill your ears.

“That’s the plan,” Dazai singsongs, pretty teeth visible. Amidst your frantic hips, he shuffles behind you, never breaking the heated kiss you share more than he has to. Those teeth find your lips and you gasp, you moan, you’re so impressed at how quickly Sigma is picking up on this new art, and with so little instruction, really—he watches you and Dazai make out from his place between your thighs and thrusts his hips against the bed at the sight. You notice.

“Sigma, come up here.”

His lips leave your cunt hesitantly; truth be told, your taste is more inebriating than all the alcohol he’s had. He’s rock hard, and you split your attention between him and Dazai as you lift your hips up, arch, and angle Dazai’s cock against your pussy.

His lips catch Sigma’s as he sinks into you; a whine falls from you at the stretch, and you can feel Dazai shake as he waits to move. When he parts from the kiss, he wraps his hands beneath either of your thighs, spreading you open wide.

Sigma all but gawks at the way Dazai’s dick is buried in you from below. You reach behind you, give his brown hair a tug that has Dazai thrusting up roughly, and Sigma would let your moan shatter his eardrums, his entire being, if he could. He sees the whites of your eyes, the white of Dazai’s fingertips as he grips you hard, the white of Dazai’s precum and your slick dripping down onto the sheets, and his hips lunge forward at nothing. Your cunt looks delicious. Dazai looks delicious, all furrowed brows and bitten lips and groans that bubble up from his chest. He fucks you fast.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck—Osamu! Unh, uh-huh—”

Dazai echoes your own name back to you. “Yeah, fuck—you feel so good.”

All the combined sounds are like a symphony to Sigma. He palms his own cock; no way he can cum just watching now, he decides. He needs to be in you. He doesn’t want to be an observer. Sigma catches Dazai’s eyes as if to say can I? But Dazai’s already smirking and breathlessly slipping out of you, holding you up and open still as you reach for Sigma with one hand and will him into you. You suck him in, god—thank god you’re already so wet and fucked open, because he’s not an inch inside of you before he loses himself and thrusts forward wildly.

“There you go,” Dazai encourages, grinning as the pale-haired man’s composure crumbles. “Isn’t that pussy heaven? Just like that, Sigma. They’re fuckin’ creamin’ all over you, look.”

Look, as if his rosé eyes could possibly leave the place where you’re swallowing him in. Sigma’s grunting—he’s never known himself to be noisy during pleasure, but this is another level, your cunt so warm and milky and squeezing him like you’ll never let him go.

The curtain of Dazai’s bangs falls across your shoulder as he kisses you there, mutters filthy musings into your ear while he watches Sigma sink into you over, over, over.

“How’d’they feel?”

Sigma’s unprepared for the way his own voice sounds, wound tight and concentrated while he tries and fails miserably not to whine. All that voice turns into babbling. “So—so, so fucking good, I’m—ah, I’m gonna fucking cum—”

"Woah, woah, alright. Not yet. Give 'em a breather. They're gonna need it, after all." Dazai's still laughing as he puts the brakes on Sigma with his feet—that's especially funny to him, but the way Sigma almost chokes at the way Dazai stops him is even better. Sigma, all sweat and arousal, sinks back onto his knees. You, too, squirm at the loss of stimulation, pushing soft lavender and silver off his forehead where it sticks; when Sigma’s hips don’t quite quit, even with nothing around his cock, Dazai chuckles out a “Looks like you need it, too.”

You trace Sigma’s tangling fingers as you catch your breath, interlocking both your hands with his. Dazai lets up on your legs—your hips will thank him later—letting the flex back into a more comfortable position. Your back rests against his chest, and he plays with your clit lazily.

“This is gonna take some patience, okay?” Dazai is addressing Sigma more than you; you’re guiding Sigma’s hands down to your cunt where he and Dazai move in a figure eight that keeps you occupied.

They're gonna need it, after all is what's registering in your mind. "Osamu—" you start, but he's shushing you.

Once again, Sigma's watching Dazai ride you up by your thighs so he can buck up into you, much more tactfully than the pale-haired man was just seconds ago. Perhaps more neglected than either of you at this point, Dazai's voice is gruff as you squelch around him.

“Oh, fuck, sweetheart. Hah." His teeth sink into your shoulder as you croon.

"Dazai—" Sigma starts this time, but the other man answers all his questions with a single look.

"You’re gonna go back to what you were doing,” Dazai breathes, his gaze trained on Sigma as you writhe.

“Please, both of you—”

“Be patient,” Dazai means to snap at you but it’s too melted, too lovey. Anyway, he’s egging you on with his next words. “C’mon, Sigma, you’re gonna give ‘em what they want, right?”

And Sigma nods like he’s in a trance—your cunt already looks full around Dazai, but he needs urgently to be in you next to him. He thinks he’ll explode in all the wrong ways if you don’t let him in. He needs it, so he lines himself up below your clit, above Dazai, looking for anywhere he can slip in; it takes some of Dazai’s fingers, some of yours, but soon enough he feels the veins of Dazai’s cock on his underside and your pulsing walls to the top of him. He’s in. He’s actually in, and his head falls onto your shoulder, and it takes everything in him not to let his full weight slump directly onto you and Dazai. You’re bleating, sobbing, laughing through the stretch, and when Sigma’s tip nestles next to Dazai’s deep inside you, you feel full. Whole.

“I’m gonna stay still.” Dazai sounds just as affected as both of you, but he keeps his facade up a few seconds longer to guide you both to the beginning of the end. “Want you to fuck them, Sigma. Hard.”

And he doesn’t need to be told twice. It’s difficult to pull back and push in at first—you’re so fucking tight and Dazai’s so fucking big, and even though you’re spread apart, Sigma feels like he can’t get close enough to you. Your cunt weeps around both of them, protesting the stretch that your brain adores, but you let up. And he fucks you, soft at first, and then hard.

All three of you are jumbled noise; skin on skin, teeth on lips, moans on shoulders, wet smacking and sliding and sobbing as you take both of them. Your gut heats up with each push, each pull, each frantic grasp, each broken sound the two men let out as they frot inside of you; Dazai’s biting your shoulder again, letting his sweet little protégé do the work. Sigma digs his nails into you wherever he can find purchase.

“Oh—fuckin’ harder, Sigma, baby, please—” you beg.

“Our pretty boy fuckin’ you good?” Dazai doesn’t wait for you to answer. “You gonna go stupid on his cock, huh?”

Sigma couldn’t answer the question even if it wasn’t rhetorical; all of his coherence is gone, and you took it. His thrusts grow erratic, remarkably unpracticed and blatantly virgin, but the repeated pounding of the head of his cock against the entrance to your cervix makes your eyes impossible to keep open, then impossible to keep closed, so you teeter between hyperalert and falling apart. Dazai rubs your clit as Sigma pushes your knees further back with sudden aggression, pins your thighs closer to your shoulders as he fucks you and creates an otherworldly friction against Dazai. He’s gone, he’s lost, and he looks so gorgeous whimpering and whining, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he screws his eyes shut and his mouth falls open over and over again. If anyone’s going stupid, it’s Sigma.

But the longer he fucks you, the more limp you fall; your head falls to rest on Dazai's shoulder as Sigma puts everything into you, and the brunette laughs like the asshole he is, even through this. He’s hardly doing better than either of you, though, and his words fly.

“My two beautiful little fuckin’ sluts, so—unh, so hot. So hot. Look at what I turned you into.”

Neither of you have any hope of answering. His voice just throttles you forward, and Sigma’s grunts ante up—he’s almost yelling, shouting as he exerts himself, as he does everything his body will let him to get himself there, and bring you with him, too.

“Ah! Angh—anh—ah, ah, ugh!”

And you reply with, “Ah! Unh—oh, oh, oh, please, please, please!”

And Dazai drinks it all up, finally letting his eyes roll back as he pulls Sigma down for one more messy kiss—one that sends Sigma headfirst into his orgasm, and he cums, rutting into you while your cunt spasms, squirts, begs for Dazai to follow. It’s like white heat rolling off of him in waves; Sigma’s brows lift as if finding a sort of clarity, and your eyes are wide as you clutch the two men, and Dazai follows shortly after—the mixture of their cum inside you sings the most disgusting and yet most satisfying sounds of the evening. Your legs snap shut around Sigma’s waist as he rides all three of you out, all sweat and tears and incredulous moans that die as he slows to a stop, still stuffed inside of you.

Three pairs of lips are dry, bitten raw—chapstick’s the first thing on Sigma’s mind as his head clears, but he feels himself and Dazai spill out of you, and you and he both reach for him, pulling him down into the pillows as whatever dream the three of you just exited settles around you like dust. He’s sticky, too, but he doesn’t hate it—how can he when you’re between them, throwing one leg over Sigma’s waist and tangling the other with Dazai’s behind you? You head falls into the crook of Sigma’s elbow, and his other arm drapes over Dazai’s, which holds you close by your waist as Dazai’s chin settles on top of your head—not unlike a three-piece puzzle, snapped together and in your right place.

“Oh, fuck.” You’re still leaking. “That was wonderful. Both of you.”

Dazai chuckles again. Unnervingly charming, even after cumming so damn hard. Sigma doesn’t want to know what he looks like himself.

“Who knew there was a whore in the casino man?”

You smack Dazai’s arm, but now you’re all laughing again, even Sigma. He feels… proud. You look so satisfied, so tired. The way your eyes slide shut after pressing such affection into his own prompts him to do the same.

Tired as he may be, though, he can’t lie and say that he’s not still incredibly turned on—you wiggle a little to get comfortable between them, and Sigma feels his cock spring back to life when you brush him, when your fingertips skate over the small of his back. He can’t reflect on what just happened—it’ll have him hard again in seconds.

“Excited again already, huh?” Dazai pokes. Sigma’s face burns.

“Ugh,” you groan out of sheer exhaustion, “if we go again, you’re both taking turns.”

Dazai looks thoughtful. “Hmm. Perhaps we could reprise rock, paper, scissors.”

And Sigma, having begun to nod, stops. “Absolutely not.”

[derangederensimp]

Jujutsu Kaisen Toji Head Canons

Toji Fushiguro x Fem Reader

CW: Angst, Fluff, Smut. Age gap

Let’s kick it off with angst…

When you first met Toji you thought he was an asshole, the way he stared glared at you made you roll your eyes. He eyed the cafes menu quickly before dropping his sites back on you “give me a cup of Chamomile and cookie would ya?” His voice was deep and sexy which you were expecting but he looked more like a coffee drinker but good taste. Giving him the total he was short a bit but you covered the change “have a good day” you said with a smile “yeah, whatever” he said walking away. You and a coworker talked about how he couldn’t even pay the full amount and still gave an attitude after your kindness instead of telling him to pick between the tea or the cookie. Sighing to yourself you doubted you’d see him again anyways. Few days later he walked in again, baggy pants, tight black shirt, and sandals. Stepping up to the counter he put the same amount of money on the counter as last time still short “give me the same thing I got last time” - “your short $1.50” you said. “You covered it last time” he stared blankly. If you had eyes in the back of your head you would’ve seen how closely Toji watched you prepare his tea and package up his cookie that he really didn’t even want but he liked that you were willing to pay for it. His gaze would go back to a blank stare when you returned to the counter. Again leaving with an attitude just to watch you for a moment through the glass at how flustered you looked. It was a reoccurring thing and you just kept paying for his difference each time getting more and more pissed off, your greeting were starting to sound like a nice “fuck you” to his ears. Which made him smirk. You finally learned his name, not by asking but you must’ve been staring at his muscles a bit too hard and he took it as you were hitting on him and wanted to introduce himself. After you told him your name he repeated it a few times before leaving. Weird. Few weeks went by before you saw him again and when he did come in you noticed his face had some cuts healing on it. “Can I have your number?” He asked, grabbing his tea from your hand, you stared at him with your mouth parted before you could speak. Your coworker shouted from the back “aren’t you a bit too old for her sir”. Your eye twitched as you slowly turned your head. Why are they ruining your chances to reject him on your own. Taking away the satisfaction of seeing the man’s ego crumble but again before you could he interrupted “if I wanted your number too I would’ve asked so why don’t you mind your business brat I just want the pretty woman’s number who can’t stop staring at me like I’m a piece of meat. And so you gave him your number while your face was beet red.

Once Toji sets his sights on something he doesn’t give up till he has it.

Toji the more you got to know him he wasn’t that much of an asshole but still was one

He is late picking you up for your first “date” but swears he will make it up later

He plays hard to get telling you that he isn’t really looking for a relationship but likes your company he finds you “interesting” you find him irritating.

Toji has the worst attitude but after getting to know him you learned how to navigate it.

You stood him up on this so called second date, he showed up to the cafe the next day pissed off and sat at the table without ordering till you came and talked to him. He was pouting like a puppy.

He kept texting you late at night and when he sometimes wouldn’t you’d get a strange ache in your chest that drove you insane. It’s not like you actually liked the guy right…

Fluff

Everything about him is attractive. His voice, his build, everything which makes it hard for you to not think about.

His scent was intoxicating

He stays up at night thinking of you too, he tries not to send to late of texts because he knows you’ll stay up chatting with him when you should be sleeping you have work and he well, his work he doesn’t want to talk about.

He is strong, funny, and makes you laugh.

His humor can take a bit to get used to but once you got it he made you laugh till you cried every time.

More and more of your shifts had to get picked up from other coworkers because Toji wanted to take up majority of your time.

Toji hates being fluffy but for you he will. When he sees your face light up whenever he brings you flowers his heart starts to race.

Toji was surprised when you grabbed his hand out of no where when you two were just walking in the park.

He’s not the romantic type be he’d learn for you.

The definition of if he wanted to he would 😭

To him it was like the world went silent whenever he was around you, he could finally breath.

He has the cutest smile, you wish you saw it more, it made your heart flutter.

He is clingy in private

Super cuddly

He falls first

He’s the big spoon but he will let you be the big spoon when you ask.

Showed affection by rubbing his thumb on either the palms of your hands or the backs of them instead of holding your hand in public

You didn’t even know you two were official till you two ran into someone he knew and he introduced you as his girlfriend. “What is it y/n. You’ve been staring at me longer than you usually do” he walked tucking his hands in his pockets. “You said I’m your girlfriend. I thought you didn’t want anything serious” he couldn’t stop laughing the scar on his lip captivating you. How strange it was for his face to go from super serious to a soft expression depending on what you said. His laughing stopped as he got closer to you “you’re cute” he said rubbing his thumb on your cheek “I didn’t think I had to spell it out for you y/n”

His lips are soft, you’d think with his appearance they wouldn’t be but they were.

His hands were soft too as he pulls you in deeper into the kiss.

When you’d pull away from a kiss his hands would remain on your lower back not letting you get away from him “don’t leave yet”

He’s sneaky, you haven’t noticed him when he is keeping an eye on you. He wished you’d observe your surroundings more.

Toji is a jealous man, he can’t stand when he sees you talking to male customers. It makes his eye twitch because that’s how he met you and got you in his hands.

He starts to become more affectionate and romantic in public to show everyone you belong to him.

He disappeared for two weeks without a word and when he popped up again he was bruised and bloody at your door step. He still refused to tell you what happened and said it was work related. You nursed him back to health and he told you he loved you first. You would’ve pounced him right then and there but he was injured.

He feels empty when you aren’t around.

He surprised you with a really fancy restaurant date that ended up being super expensive. He laughed at your facial expression when he paid in cash and left a hefty tip. He told you on the way back to your place that part of the money came from him not paying for his cookie every time he went to the cafe and he smirked at your face when you reacted “so I paid for your cookies for nothing” you said crossing your arms and fake pouting. “It was all in good fun sweetheart, you took care of me and now I’ll take care of you” he said, his hand rubbing the back of your palm.

When you invited him over to spend the night for the first time he couldn’t hide his smile. Which made you blush.

He takes things slow with you, he doesn’t want to scare you away.

Smut

To say he was touch starved was an understatement. When was the last time he slept around? When he first walked into that cafe of yours seeing you for the first time.

He’ll never admit it but he would masturbate to just imaging what you’d like beneath him

He lost his damn mind when you sent him a teaser pic of your ass glad he was quick to screenshot and made a hidden folder on his phone for it.

His praises drove you insane

Will take it easy on you the first time but after that he won’t. The first time was sweet and loving. His lips felt like they were burning your skin with each kiss he left behind trailing down your body cherishing every part of you and only leaving behind hickeys where no one else could see. The first time he learned a lot of valuable things about you and you learned some things about him too. He was glad to know you were on the pill because he would be filling you up.

Always starts off with kissing you endearingly but it turns hot and heavy

Veiny hands, veiny dick 💦

Loves to finger you, he always chuckles at the way your grab his big hand trying to yank him away when your about to cum getting overstimulated from his thumb rubbing hard circles in your clit.

Vocal in bed, huge on dirty talk.

Loves calling you princess and baby girl when dicking you down

Has a daddy kink

Breeding kink not right away but the more he fucks you the more the idea of getting you pregnant lingers in his head but he’s glad your still on the pill he still wants to just be alone with you.

His goal is make you cum as many times as possible before he gets to finish either inside of you or on your stomach

He’s a thigh guy, loves being between them and begs you to squeeze them on his head

He get pussy drunk quick losing all sight of whatever else was planned for the day or night only wanting to between your legs

Loves giving head like I said he loves your thighs so being between them this way is perfect. He loves when your cumming on his tongue that your thighs clench around him

He’s a boob guy too so expect him to be grabbing them whenever you two are alone and after he’s asked for permission. Likes sucking on your nipples and pinching them to hear you moan his name.

His anthem is a.d.i.d.a.s from Korn

You appreciate his strength because one of your now favorite positions is being hoisted up in his arms while he’s standing up and slamming your body down on massive cock

Praises in your ear about how your body is made for him

He gets hard whenever you sit on his lap and he knows you purposely shift around on top of him to make him grunt but as soon as he does you stop and act like you didn’t do anything.

Gets extremely turned on when you suck and bite on his neck “y/n you know what your doing don’t you? He says before pinning you down on the mattress.

Enjoys watching you struggle to ride him from his size at first but enjoys even more now that you’ve gotten confident doing it and taking charge not needing his help to guide your hips.

Loves pushing your face into the pillows when you get too loud, he doesn’t want anyone else to hear your moans

Teasing is his thing when your being super needy for him, going slow with everything he does till you pull his hair and tell him to go faster

His favorite sex position definitely is a mating press

Lazy sex? Having you lay on your side and him behind you hunched over whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

Least favorite position… he doesn’t have one he likes to have you every way possible

He’s fucked you everywhere in your place and in his. His favorite location had to be the kitchen.

Car sex? He against doesn’t like the idea of someone seeing you like that so if your not being patient he pulls over somewhere really dark and secluded.

He thinks shower sex is great because it’s an easy clean up for both of you

You asked him to cum on your face once and he about exploded and gladly did was you asked for and snapped a pic before wiping you clean.

Toji is a moaner and grunter in bed

He implements safe words because the sex is only getting rougher with you asking him to choke you as you develop your own kinks

“F-fuck” in his voice is such a turn on

After sex he cuddles you close after you go to the bathroom to clean up. He always sleeps soundly when your naked beside him

Authors note: I know it isn’t heavy on the smut but Toji Thursday I plan on doing scenarios around these head canons and your suggestions so leave them below or use my ask box!

Want to be apart of Toji Thursday taglist comment below 💖

Masterlist | Roomate Toji |

[nattikay]

actually no wait holdup, I stumbled across some "Na'vi redesigns" recently, and while I don't want to make a stink about it on the actual redesign posts themselves because I don't want to antagonize the artists, who are clearly skilled in their own right, I do have something to say on the topic. While there is of course nothing wrong with re-designing characters or species for fun, there seems to be this condescending attitude surrounding Na'vi redesigns in particular, especially ones that make them significantly more monstrous/non-human, about how they're "better" than the canon designs for being less humanoid but....

y'all. Though there is a lot of cool speculative biology in Avatar, Avatar at is heart is not meant to be a speculative biology documentary, it's meant to be a story.

y’know, it’s interesting, there’s a section in Anomaly Inc’s epic eight-hour Avatar defense in which he’s refuting The Critical Drinker’s Avatar video. Paraphrasing a bit because I don’t want to dig through eight hours for this one line, but there’s a point where Critical Drinker says “if the Na'vi looked like this, or this, or this [showing images of much more monstrous alien designs from other movies], Avatar would be a very different movie”, and Anomaly Inc responds, “no actually, if the Na'vi looked like xenomorphs nothing in the plot would change, it would just be a whole lot less pleasant to look at.”

And you know what? They’re both right. Anomaly Inc is correct that giving the Na'vi a more monstrous design would not affect the plot itself, but Critical Drinker is also right (though perhaps not in the way he intended) that it would make Avatar a different movie. A WORSE MOVIE.

Yeah, I said it. Because plot is an important element to a movie, yes, but it’s not the only important element. Film is a visual medium, and therefore design is very important too, and it’s not arbitrary: the design of your characters should be used to support the story you’re trying to tell.

The story of Avatar requires the audience to empathize with the Na'vi. We’re supposed to be able to relate to them, to see ourselves in them. We’re meant not to see them as just “aliens”, but as people, because recognizing them as people emphasizes the wrongness of the RDA’s treatment of them. Blowing up the village of a clearly humanoid species is going to hit the audience much harder than blowing up the nest of scary-looking aliens, even if we know the aliens are smart and have their own culture etc. (not to say that blowing up the “nest” wouldn’t still be bad, of course it would be, it just wouldn’t invoke quite the same gut reaction in the viewers and yes that matters in a story).

A more monstrous design would not only not support the Na'vi’s narrative role, it would actively hinder it. Like it or not, general audiences would have a much more difficult time connecting with the Na'vi if they were depicted as hunched-over four-eyed hexapods with gaping jaws and the inability to make human facial expressions. Making them more humanoid makes them much easier to read and therefore to emotionally connect to. And no, Mr. Drinker, making your protagonists appealing to look at is not “lazy dirty manipulation”, it’s character design 101.

And don’t get me wrong, there’s certainly a place for more monstrous-looking sapient alien species in fiction! And if that’s your cup of tea by all means go nuts! Make that alien species! Flesh out their culture! That sounds awesome! I know I’ve definitely seen some cool and interesting ones out there!

….but I just don’t think that Avatar is that place. And that’s ok. There’s a place for “monstrous” aliens (sapient or otherwise), but there’s a place for humanoid aliens too, Avatar is the latter and there’s nothing wrong with that.

…all that to say, my stance on Na'vi redesigns is heavily dependent on the attitude behind them:

“Here’s a Na'vi redesign because I thought it would be a fun challenge and look cool!” Awesome, go for it, have fun! :D

“Here’s a Na'vi redesign because the canon designs are dumb and lazy and mine is way Better and More Original because it looks more like a movie monster, the filmmakers were so stupid for not making them look more like this, I’m just Fixing It” shut up

[keeksybee]

Just watched ‘Fear no Mort’ and wow was it a gut punch, I mean ooft “You’re irreplaceable” being the thing to tip him off, but that’s already been done to death, I’m personally more fascinated with Morty’s subconscious interpretation of his Grandmother, IMO it was a curious direction for the writers to take her, she’s a little too much like Rick for my taste, her her being intellectual definitely tracks, I doubt Rick would have married stupid but I always imagined she’d be…gentler, kinder, Rick’s grounding point.

They were happy when they were married, he loved her, there’s no reason for her to be a drinker or cruel or have that mean streak like Rick does because he didn’t really do those things before her lost her, she was the catalyst for his self sabotaging behaviours, I can see her being witty, knowing how to reel Rick back but I never thought she’d be like him, then I realised this *wasn’t* Diane it was Morty’s subconscious creating what he thought his Grandmother was like and since he’s never had any other reference for Diane except Rick’s anecdotes, nor seen Rick when he was healthy it makes sense he assumes Diane had to be like Rick for them to have been compatible.

He can’t actually fathom that Rick might have married a perfectly normal, intelligent woman and stayed in their small Washington town, raising their daughter in their little suburb, in their little nuclear family and he would have been content with that, because Rick can’t be content, he’s always chasing the next physical or metaphorical high, the exceptional, something he (Morty) is not, as Rick takes great relish in reminding him, I found it kinda sad that he sees Diane as competition for his Grampa’s affection rather than a new figure to create a relationship with, this is his Grandmother whom he’s never gotten to meet, that most children would be ecstatic to get to know a long lost family member, especially one held so dear by another close to them, but he doesn’t seem to want to get to know her because she takes Rick away, and let’s be honest Morty doesn’t have anyone else, his life is intrinsically tied to his Grandfather, he doesn’t have friends that we can see, his family either treat him like a burden or ignore him completely so the only person to give him attention, positive or negative is just Rick, they’re parasitically codependent to the point he is nothing without Rick. He’s more competent than he ever was and yet he still doesn’t get half the care or consideration that a fake simulation of his Grandmother gets.

I honestly interpret this version of Diane as not canonically how she was as much as this version is what Morty’s jealousy over Rick never moving on from her manifests as, he’s jealous that Diane got normal, family man Rick, that there was a time when he was decent and good and selfless that he’ll never get to experience, Rick won’t even help with his damn homework and he’s just willing to die for HER, she doesn’t even EXIST, Rick who never gives up, never accepts failure, will happily walk like lamb to the slaughter for HER, he’ll just stay in the hole until it consumes him. Why isn’t Morty good enough? He deals with all Rick’s Bullshit ALL the time, he’s the one losing limbs, he’s the one Rick leaves at the drop of a hat for two crows, he’s the one that he trusts less than Summer, he’s the one taking the blame for too many of Rick’s fuck ups to count and he won’t LEAVE THE DAMN HOLE.

He doesn’t see himself as important enough to leave the hole for, he makes Diane mean and selfish because it makes her easier to resent, because if she was sweet and loving and considerate she’d be so much harder to despise so he makes her selfish and compatible with the Rick *he* knows so he’s not forced to think about who Rick would chose if push really came to shove because he has a nauseating feeling it wouldn’t be him, that Rick wouldn’t hesitate.

I wonder what Rick would think if I’d he’d gotten to see just what his Grandson thought of himself.

[shanmthebrave]

“Are you ready, Leo~?”

“I’m always ready, Azucena.”

“Hehe, great!”

The literal definition of Yapper x Listener - An Leo x Azucena (AzuLeo appreciation/persuasive post) -TEKKEN 8-

~TW - HE/HIM LEO~

Like, Azucena would yap about coffee and Leo wouldn’t mind :)

His laugh and the way he casually answers Azucena that he’s from Germany WHILE IGNORING THE FACT THEY’RE IN A WAR-ZONE BECAUSE THAT DON’T MATTER WHEN YOUR FAV COFFEE CELEBRITY IS IN FRONT OF YOU

Bro she’s gonna send you coffee for being a fan, like a good celebrity doessss

Also he’s ignoring the fact for a moment that she’s with G-Corp…and also also asking at the end what her true purpose was…

Tbh to me Azu’s purpose with this sudden conversation was either:

She really wants to promote her coffee ☕️

Or she finds Leo interesting (Whether Platonic or Romantic)

Either way, we can leave it to imagination :) but I’d always pick red or both

CAN WE ALSO NOT IGNORE THE FACT THAT SHE GAVE LEO A WINK AND BLEW A KISSSSS?! ACKKKKKK

Their only interaction in the story has implied that Leo already knew Azucena before their canonical encounter. Their lines during chapter 10 are proof contributing to this:

Observation from their Chapter 10 interaction:

An instant recognition, Leo’s got good observation skills. He’s kinda shocked that she’s with G-Corp. Understandable, since the people in G-Corp are pretty bad people, and seeing Azu, a person who he knows well for her coffee (only revealed after the fight), working for them, his shock becomes understandable.

Azucena’s motives confuse Leo, as she’s promoting her coffee by working with G-Corp, the company that well, 💀 his mom. Ouch.

Despite that, after their fight, Leo reveals that he’s a a fan of her coffee. AND AZUCENA FINDS HER FELLOW COFFEE DRINKER!

She offers to make a special order for him, and LEAVES THE FIGHT WITHOUT CONSIDERING ITS A WAR-ZONE, IS SHE EVEN OKAY?!

Well she is seen in the good ending so we can assume that yes she did make it

Leo is just standing there, confused as to what her real purpose was (which I covered in the point above)

Now, let’s talk about their lines during their fight and their meaning behind it, and compare this interaction to Leo’s fight with Jin:

When Leo successfully lands a hit, he says lines to try and diffuse the fight, rather then try to continue the counter offensive, unlike what he did with Jin, where his distrust in him is evident.

He says: “Open your eyes!” And “There’s no reason for us to fight!” Clearly showing that he doesn’t wanna fight Azucena. Rather, to convince her to stop siding with G-Corp.

Unlike his fight with Azucena, his interaction with Jin is a tad more hostile, as we know Jin did some pretty messed up stuff, which provoked Leo to initiate a spar with him. However, Azucena chose to fight Leo instead, when he clearly didn’t want to.

Now, let’s chat abt Azucena’s POV. She really just wants to promote her coffee, but also broaden her horizons for new blends, perhaps. Maybe find a fellow coffee enthusiast or a strong opponent (latter is the most likely motive).

When Azucena lands a hit, she only has one line: “Come on, let’s have some fun!” AS IF THIS ISNT A WAR ZONE AND ITS A FRIENDLY SPAR.

She seems to enjoy fighting Leo. This is especially shown when she gets defeated and flips back, exclaiming “You’re pretty good!” As if acknowledging his skill.

This pretty much shows that the entire time, she was fighting for fun, forgetting that she got herself into a war. It makes me laugh inside tbh. Haha.

Oh you think we’re done? Nope cuz we’re covering a lil bit about their character episodes too!

Leo meets Azucena in the final stage. Huh. What a coincidence.

There’s not much to say in this, other than the fact that both of them fight Yoshimitsu in the first stage. lol.

✨Special Interactions!!!!✨

Is there really any points we can make?! It’s so cute! And random…but funny and quite welcoming.

It’s not everyday someone encounters you and declares themself the coffee queen and tries to KICK you while you try to process everything (lol)

The pure surprise in Leo’s face never fails to make me laugh. Bro looks so perplexed and afraid 😭

And Azucena kicking him without warning is so random and even more silly, like give this man some time to process you woman 😂

When Azucena wins, she tells Leo that a good coffee takes time to brew, as if encouraging him that he’s doing great and he will get better, like a sparring partner that gives him feedback.

On Leo’s end, he’s awfully happy he won and says it’s time for a coffee break, something he says ONLY when he wins against Azucena. It’s as if fighting her reminds him of his liking for coffee.

Now, I will give my reasons why I love shipping Azucena and Leo together.

They have cute/canon interactions

The relationship has potential

Special intro pass

They relate over the one thing that got them together: COFFEE

Leo likes her products and is a big fan of her.

Azucena seems to enjoy his presence and wants to encourage him to get stronger.

Even tho Azucena sided (formerly) with G-Corp (not confirmed if she stopped working with them), Leo’s pretty chill and is willing to forgive her (Seeing as he forgave Jin, a literal war criminal)

It’s just cute. It’s so random, it’s adorable

It also just works in a way. They’re the literal definition of Yapper x Listener

She would yap to Leo about coffee and whatnot and he’d be so chill with her.

A cute, energetic girl with a shy, gentle boy trope, dominant girlies with gentle boys are just so funny and adorable to watch.

Welp, I can’t add any more photos and I’m running out of ideas, so in conclusion, the points I want to make is:

- AzuLeo is a very cute ship

- It’s hella under appreciated

- It may be random, but who says we can’t ship what we want and promote them?

- I love these two coffee lovers

- BANDAI NAMCO, GIVE THEM MORE SCENES TOGETGER, AND I WILL BE HAPPY. PLEASE!

- Azucena is overhated. Period.

- The creators of Tekken said we can call Leo any gender we want cuz Leo is…Leo. So I’ll call him a male.

I don’t rlly expect people to like the ship after this post. And that’s okay with me. As long as I’m happy and passionate posting what I like. ❤️

If you made it here, thanks for reading through my entire ship post haha. I hope you will start to like this ship or perhaps tolerate it if you hate it. Whatever happens, or if your opinion doesn’t change, at least I’ll be happy, cuz I spoke my mind on something I like :)

[decent0distraction]

Solo harmony au - part 3

Just to clarify a few things

- Floyd doesn’t consistently drug Branch. I’ll go into more detail later, but as I hinted at in part 2, the perfect harmony can turn into ultimate chaos.

- Ultimate chaos is an extreme name for it, basically Branch, for now, can release short bursts of energy to effect sound, electricity, and high emotions.

- But just as he cannot heal anyone other than himself, he cannot negatively affect the emotions and actions of others.

- At least, he doesn’t think he can. Right?

- Oh, and their brothers know about the milk. They’ve known since Grandma got eaten.

Okay. Let’s talk about that.

- Branch witnessed it. Just like in canon. John Dory and Bruce got their younger brothers to safety, fell into a hole deep in the ground, and built the bunker from inside out.

- But Branch was different from then on. He couldn’t sing or even talk for months. It was a struggle to get him to eat and when he slept, he’d wake up screaming. Eventually, he got his voice back, but they had to fight with him to get him to sing so the harmony would restore his spirit.

- With Branch beginning to get sick, the brothers knew they were running out of time. They took turns in alternating between watching Branch and searching for something to help.

- they foundPop village, finding the milk. They found the forest, where they found the plants that when crushed and combined into something like the milk, would leave the drinker dazed and sedated to a degree varying on how much they took

- Clay and Bruce were against the idea, John Dory unsure if it was right. But Floyd called them selfish; how dare they actually let morals regarding something so foolish in the face of their little brother sick from starvation and lack of proper sleep get in the way of saving him?

- That got them to agree. John Dory, being the oldest and the strongest, crushed the plants while Clay carefully heated the milk. Bruce insisted they put honey in it; that Branch would be more easily convinced to drink it if it was sweet. Floyd sat with Branch, got him to sit up, and held his hands, speaking him to softly and encouragingly when John Dory and Bruce held him down so Clay could force him to drink the milk down

- Clay couldn’t stand the sound of their baby brother sobbing and screaming that he hated them, so he ran to his room and hid under his bed. Bruce practically clawed his way out of the bunker to vomit onto the sunshine-covered grass. John Dory used the excuse of needing to find and comfort Clay as an excuse to be anywhere else. But Floyd forced himself to stay, to hug Branch with his little arms restrained as his sides so he wouldn’t hurt himself. Floyd stayed that way for as long as it took for the milk to take effect, which was only a couple minutes, held back by Branch’s adrenaline. He then spoon fed the youngest, got him ready for bed, and got him to sleep. Then Floyd stayed at Branch’s bedside until morning.

- Floyd told himself it was necessary to stay. It can be my punishment, he decided. My punishment for forcing Branch like this.

- What other way could have possibly been better, he taunted himself.

- No, no, you had to do this, he concluded. For Branch’s own good.

- They used the milk for just as long as it took for Branch to start eating willingly and the nightmares let up

- As Branch grew up, the milk stopped being a thing. Or at least, Clay and Bruce didn’t consider it.

- John Dory enforced the milk as a punishment, something that Floyd entirely disagreed with. When Branch would complain about JD’s artistic directions a little too much or would try to fight back against the image the oldest was pushing, John Dory would regrettably take Branch by the arm and drag him to their tent or bunker or even a hotel room, once, which would have pleasant if not for John Dory throwing Branch into his room and giving him two choices:

- Drink the milk yourself

- Or I’ll have to make you

- After Branch drinks the milk willingly, John Dory tells everyone that Baby needs time to rest and prepare for the show, pushing it back by only an hour. Although, the willingness part doesn’t really matter. The lie is usually the same each time.

- And when Branch wakes up and Floyd is there, Branch acts like John Dory was telling the truth, unaware that Floyd knew very well that he wasn’t

- Floyd only ever uses the milk when he feels it is entirely necessary. And when he saw that odd glow when Branch told John Dory off, that scared Floyd. After all, he didn’t want Branch to end up like their mother, did he?

- no. of course not. I mean, their father went insane trying to help her. the last thing Floyd wants is for his brothers or himself to fall down the same rabbit hole their father did-

- Besides, it’s all just to help Branch. Right?

Right?

[davesteeth]

tw abuse n just overall talk of shitty parents and shitty behavior

so before i begin i want to say i will be saying headcanon way too much lmao

and i also wanted to say i headcanon younger nick being an awful person. i love him he’s my fave l4d survivor but we cannot ignore the fact that he is canonically a textbook criminal and a fucking asshole. so let’s face it when he was younger he was probably scum

so i headcanon him being a disgusting man boy, then a douchebag, and then as he ventures into the apocalypse his icy heart melts

so anyways i headcanon nick’s parents similar to matilda’s parents only worse

i imagine his dad a sleezy jerk who owns a trashy strip club, drinks like a fish and does party drugs, beats on his wife and kids, constantly cheats on his wife, etc

his mom also a drinker, narcissistic, kinda mentally unstable, and a total spitfire

however even tho his mom was a pos she still had her maternal moments with her children

i headcanon her to be kind of a complex character tbh.. i feel like she naturally was just an unpleasant person, probably due to being raised in a toxic environment, but nick’s dad made her so much worse

growing up she was the type to genuinely love and comfort nick and her other kids, especially after their father would do fucked up shit, she never neglected them (always made sure they were fed, clean, healthy, educated, etc) but the next day if they were to, let’s say, break a glass on accident she would flip the fuck out and probably back hand them, then call them the r word and useless. she was that kind of mother.

his dad a pos because that’s exactly how his own dad was. nick is definitely that person who just.. comes from a literal bloodline of terrible people.. one where literally no one stood a chance

i headcanon that the reason why nick’s marriage didn’t last was because of him. he treated her like shit, just like how his father treated his mother. not to the same extent, i don’t think he would beat a woman, but i think he would be the type to be too rough for comfort (ex. grab her by the arm roughly)

i think he would be the type to just not support her, sometimes talk down on her, and when fighting get in her face. he may have loved her, but he didn’t respect her and was a shitty husband to her. i also wouldn’t be surprised if he struggled with infidelity just like how his dad did

but i dont think his wife was a submissive one. i think she had a little bit of his mother in her. she wasn’t afraid to speak her mind, put him in his place, smack him upside the head, etc

i think his wife after a while fell into depression (we all know when nick hears a witch he will sometimes say “sounds like my ex wife”) but was kind of scared to leave him? even though he never genuinely physically harmed her, she has seen him definitely physically harm men before.. so even though she didn’t think he would ever harm her per se, she knew what he was capable of and of course it made her nervous. but i think after a while she would gain the strength to leave. he probably did not take it well and it probably was not 100% a civil divorce, but after a while he would accept it and move on

basically his marriage was just a repeat of his parents’, just not as bad as theirs was

i feel like as nick got older and matured he realized a bit how disgusting he was. i feel like he would probably try to reach out to his ex to apologize, she hears him out and thanks him, is happy and proud of how much he has changed, but she still wants nothing to do with him (as she should)

and honestly i feel like this would be one of the catalysts of his character redemption

i have so many fucking headcanons for the characters and lore that i should just start writing a big ass fanfic lolol idk i luv l4d

[ilstar]

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 re: aventurine.

talks to himself, out loud, whenever he's alone. more like little strings of sentences, singular words, and right, okay's than full on yapping. often doesn't realise he's doing it.

aven smokes but not as a habit. more-so because it can be a reliable way of striking up conversation with someone who he wouldn’t otherwise be able to just approach in a natural way, and you never know what little bits of information might be given away once you get someone talking. also as a little treat when he’s been dealing with particularly stressful workloads or very very occasionally as an excuse to step away when he’s overwhelmed, but it’s really just every once in a while and not a common thing.

things on his person at all times: his glasses, cigarettes and a lighter, a lint roller, mints, cologne ( no signature scent because he rotates but imagine his current choice to be something like sauvage if you will ) and the revolver.

coffee drinker in an unhinged way — he's throwing back inhumane numbers of espresso shots throughout the day. no time to stop for anything else.

for those who are traversing the universe i think birthdays are already a strange thing to track, but aven has never really bothered to align the calendar he grew up using with the amber era or any other planet he stops on, although i imagine it's not hard to do and he could probably just look it up, he doesn't pay much mind. he's only ever really aware of his own birthday when there's talk the extinction event stirring up again, and then he tries to put it out of his mind for another sigonian year. if you happen to know it's that day, he doesn't know why because he definitely hasn't told anyone. on one hand, he's never really had anyone around to care about it, and on the other, celebrating his birthday feels weird when so much weight crashes down on him in accordance with that date.

if you have the dishonour of being someone he contacts regularly you'll quickly learn that he's a chronic voice messenger. you're getting four minute long speeches minimum whether it's about something important or not, and no hints either way until you click.

big fan of the flooding smile

his three cat cakes are canon. they are called rake razz and pending because i said layla's ratio could name the third one and ended up with pythagorus because apparently that's his humour. razz is his favourite baby but don't tell the others.

[softskiesahead]

🍄‍🟫🥑🍍🍏🍎 for the birthday boyyyyyyy

birthday boy!!!!! <3

🍄‍🟫 - if your f/o could be any mythological species, what would they be? if your f/o is already a mythological species, would they ever want to be human?

i think luke would be a werewolf! not solely because he is associated with puppies a lot, but i also feel that the themes about being turned into something against your will, feeling like a monster or like you’re dangerous to the ones you love…is unfortunately very present in luke’s canon story as well. in an au like this, luke would want nothing more than to be human. he wants to be mundane. he wants to feel safe :(

🥑 - is there any niche topics your f/o is interested in? what are they and why do they like them?

detective stories/media!! something he’s loved a lot since he was a kid (ex, referring to rosa as his “watson”). still something that brings him a lot of comfort <3 personally i think it would also inform his personal style a bit, but hoyo keeps insisting on giving him some weird middle school boy-core outfits ^^;

🍍 - if you could change any one thing about your f/os backstory/character, what would you change? why?

I really wouldn’t want to change much because as a character, luke has a very interesting background and ongoing arc…….though I do want to save him from The Horrors and The Tragedies. if i were to make one change, I would want luke to be able to be around his parents for longer. his memories of them are few, but the clips we get of them are so cute. I’d love to see the ways they would have influenced and rubbed off on him :<

🍎 - what's your f/o's favorite drink? any drink, alcoholic or non alcoholic!

he was a barista for a time, so I think he would be a coffee drinker. I think his favorite kind would be a mocha :)

🍏 - if you have any queer headcanons for your f/o, how did they realize they were queer?

lukeyaya is omni4omni because i said so. since tot is set slightly in the future, i like to think it was not a very dramatic realization. just something he noticed in childhood and adolescence but didn’t really pay attention to until he was older. after all…he spent a lot of his life stuck up on one person.

[wolfintestinez]

— SMALL JANIE FACTS ! 🐞 . . .

• hiiiiii , i’m wanting to share little things about my saw oc janine ! and share art, because i have a whole doc on her that i’m just siphoning info from. still unsure of where to put her canon wise.

⚰️ ‘ she didn’t exactly want to work in the mortuary field, she wanted to be a comic book artist, but her family wasn’t exactly the most supportive / motivating. so, she put herself into a career where she could support herself and be better than the people in her family. she doesn’t hate her job, but she yearns for that creative freedom again.

⚰️ ‘ she is weirdly straight edge, not a drinker nor smoker. she doesn’t mind if others do, she just tends to stick away from it for familiar reasons.

⚰️ ‘ she isn’t unfriendly , but she doesn’t seek out socialization. she has about two friends and those are the people she gravitates towards. she knows others see her as offputting, or they’re cautious because they can’t quite tell what she’s really thinking. she’s introspective and empathetic, but not entirely sympathetic. she is a recluse because she couldn’t care less about masking anymore.

⚰️ ‘ undiagnosed autism. i’m gonna be so for real, i write all my characters to be neurodivergent. i just cannot write a neurotypical character 😭.

⚰️ ‘ she wouldn’t exactly admit it, but she’s a hopeless romantic.

⚰️ ‘ she has nerve damage in her shoulder due to a car accident in her teenage years, she often deals with aches and random numbing / sensitivity spikes and can’t handle a whole lot of heavy lifting sometimes.

⚰️ ‘ her uncle was pretty much the only one to actually support her in her family , he did well to teach her life skills. it’s a reason why she’s good with mechanical things, trust her with your car i PROMISE.

⚰️ ‘ a bisexual freak…. also a big fan of lady bugs and werewolves

that is all, for now :3

[abliafina-18782]

Roast chicken

Pairing: Joe Goldberg X Rhys Montrose

Author's Note: I've used quotes from the show for an extra bit of flare, I'm not claiming any of those as my own writing but I won't point them out as it'd interrupt the flow of the fic. This is very much a crackfic, don't take it too seriously. ✨

Warning: Canon typical Violence, stalking, possessive behaviour

Word count: ~6k

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. There are so many ways in which you can have breakfast. Bacon and eggs. Cereal. Marmalade on toast. Coffee. The options are endless.

I have learned a lot about breakfast since coming to the UK. They have a full English breakfast with fried eggs, sausages, bacon, baked beans, and ripe fried tomatoes and mushrooms. Have that with some tea or orange juice and it’s a whole buffet compared to America’s breakfast, and that says a lot for the country that originated McDonald's.

I have never been much of a breakfast guy. Perhaps it’s stereotypical of a coffee drinker, I’m the one that’ll be fine as long as I’ve got my caffeine in the morning. It wasn’t until I met you that I started appreciating breakfast for what it was.

Breakfast is a chance to set the tone for the rest of your day. You can’t go wrong if you begin your day with a belly full of a full English. It took me a while to get used to it, I usually felt satisfied after only a few spoonfuls of baked beans, however, you helped me slow down and enjoy the start of my morning. Any morning is a good morning as long as it is with you.

Which is why it’s so weird that you’ve stopped eating breakfast.

Being the mayor of London isn’t easy for you, and yet that is no reason to neglect your basic needs. You say you don’t have time because you’re running late or you are simply not hungry. I have a hard time believing that. Your appetite is like no other. The first time I cooked dinner for us, you helped yourself to two extra servings, saying it was the best meal you ever had. I’m not a chef by any means, I mean I know my way around the kitchen, though being married to Love Quinn came with its benefits.

I am trying to get you to eat better, though it’s hard when you won’t tell me what’s wrong. You insist that everything’s okay, except I know you better than that. You’re not eating the lunches or snacks I pack for you. You say I don’t have to pack lunches for you, but let me ask you this, Rhys. What kind of a partner am I if I let you go hungry?

I won’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt to see my efforts go to waste. I’m greeted with half-empty boxes and unopened granola bars whenever I clear out your bag. Of course, you’re not obligated to eat the food I prepare for you. It is just my way of showing that I care about you.

Because I do, I care about you, Rhys. More than I have cared for anyone in my life. You helped me come to terms with my true nature. You accept me for who I am and I am never going to find that in another person again. Which is why I have to get to the bottom of what’s bothering you.

I know you wouldn’t like it if I followed you to work. You’d call it an invasion of privacy when I’m only trying to help you. So it is with perfect timing really when I have to run some errands by your office. Whether or not testing the coffee at London's Kitchen Café constitutes as an errand is up for debate.

Continue reading

[sideboot]

👀👀 @ the potential analysis of jamie choosing to drink vanilla vodka

SO APPARENTLY THIS BEING A DEEP AND LAYERED CHARACTER DECISION REQUIRING AN EXPERT ON ALCOHOL (or at least someone who actually drinks, unlike me) IS NOT TRUE what happened is I told my partner that jamie was drinking vanilla vodka at the club with some of the guys and internally my partner went he’s drinking that at the football club, at the place he works? Fucked up! And then we actually watched the scene and they were like :// why did you lie to me, lmao

The short version is this is definitely my fault. The long version is apparently it super matters that keeley is there? To decode this from a masculine dominated setting? I did not realize that o’brien or goodman or whoever the fuck’s sitting in the corner also had a girl with him, I thought it was the boys + keeley.

So the canonical character implications is that roy is from a generation where masculinity means you drink the types of hard liquor with nothing to cover up the burn nor any fruity flavors because you’re a fucking man hurr durr, and he’s making a little dig at jamie’s masculinity but also at jamie’s immaturity for. You know. Doing nothing more than being twenty-three and picking a beverage at a club that is an expedient way to get drunk.

roy is masc and old and judgy, even though his reasons in this particular moment are understandable: he is specifically replying to yet another comment about how he's old.

Anyways, more under the cut for the probable canonical reasons jamie is drinking vanilla vodka in this specific scene and for the original draft of the meta when I thought vanilla vodka was just Jamie's favorite and go-to drink

jamie is drinking this because either 1) keeley actually likes it, or is at least nostalgic for the drink that she got drunk on from her early twenties, and so originally ordered it (you can see her drinking from a bottle with the same branding in the background) and jamie’s just shrugging and getting the same cause he wants to get drunk, or perhaps 2) as is my fun new headcanon, he was introduced to this drink by a previous girlfriend and liked it and despite what people expect from appearances and gender stereotypes, keeley is actually the one who wouldn’t usually drink this if it wasn’t for her partner, or 3) he’s just a fiend for vanilla flavoring on the level of naruto’s sasuke uchiha has a post fandom flanderization boner for tomatoes.

But yeah jamie drinking this is apparently a generic young party boy in a club with his girlfriend thing.

The original version of the meta went something like this:

First, a disclaimer. I don’t drink. Neither does my partner, but they used to. As much as we wish otherwise, neither of us can help but be American. America has a very specific drinking culture, mainly shaped by our weird alcohol laws. Our legal drinking age is very high and once you hit twenty-one, you gain legal access to every type of alcohol at once. We also don’t have the same pub culture, which I would also guess is partly due to the fact that our shit public infrastructure means most drinkers can’t get home as easily without drinking.

Meanwhile, Jamie would be growing up in England meaning at the very least, his first legal access to alcohol would come when he is in his mid or early teens and able to order his own beer in a pub. He would be experimenting with drinks with a low percentage of alcohol in a supervised environment.

Let’s try getting into it anyway, and if I’m an idiot I can find out later.

Vanilla vodka that’s commercially available is for the most part cheap and for the purposes of mixing into cocktails. Most flavored vodkas sold just anywhere run towards being cheap and shit with the purpose of the flavoring to hide alcohol that would otherwise probably taste like nail polish remover.

Someone is in a liquor store picking out this to drink straight needs to either really, really like vanilla flavoring or to be trying to get drunk cheaply without tasting alcohol only they have no idea what they’re doing. Otherwise, usually they would be more likely to pick things like a sour fruit or candy flavored vodka which have tastes that generally more people would find interesting enough to enjoy.

This interpretation made me very excited. It makes perfect sense with Jamie’s background he would view drunk as a fun destination with a shit journey best kept short as possible. I pictured a possible Jamie with a lot of baggage around drinking who could be mellow about it when definitely sober or definitely drunk but would get into his own head when in the awkward in between.

It would also make sense if Jamie had no real education in alcohol. Jamie’s most likely drinking experience came with his peers, who would also be young and not know shit, and his father. Tartt Sr. is, I imagine, shit for Jamie to be around when drunk, and does not have the personality where he would be a nice teacher for anything much less drinking. Less someone holding your hand as you explore your tastes and more a guy who pours you a shot and when you cough and tear up he laughs and calls you a pussy.

I could imagine Jamie pretending to being all about getting to hang out getting drunk with his dad and his mates the one time and then never doing it again and forming very bad associations with whatever they happened to drink that night. I headcanon James Tartt Sr. as being a whiskey drinker, and the kind of guy who saw the James/Jameson pun and immediately ran that joke into the dirt. Cheap whiskey drinking also falls under one of the three main flavors of longterm alcoholism but this is getting long so I will expand on that in another post

Jamie is clearly willing to throw his money around for things like fashion, which he knows he likes. So him drinking something cheap and probably not very tasty shows a discarding of the idea that alcohol could be tasty or a hobby improved with consideration.

In summary, Jamie drinking something cheap and awful reeemphasizes a lot of what we know about his background. It could mean that for all his party boy reputation, he views drinking as means to an end that isn’t enjoyable in it of itself. He has a background that meant he didn’t have access to anyone who serve as a teacher for the nuances of alcohol culture. Jamie begins the series at a point in his life where there’s much about his tastes and identity he hasn’t bothered investigating, until the instigation from people like Keeley, Ted, and Roy. All of this would be perfect characterization.

It also works as perfect characterization if Jamie drinks of vanilla vodka because he enjoys it. Jamie has other tastes that people judge, like his fashion choice to go without a shirt, and he does these things because he cares more about enjoying himself than he cares, or is even able to register, the judgment of others.

The other part of this discussion that held up were post maturation arc drinks for Jamie, but this is so goddang long I’m going to make that its own post.

[dudeshusband]

Dude all the asks?

here you go. enjoy.

🤝: How did they meet in the first place? What was their first impression of each other?

my s/i, before they came out, used to work the bar at the hotel alamo. I suppose that since dude “left his stuff there” and chance lives at the hotel in canon, that dude also did. so, they met because he came in regularly, for a drink (when he was a casual drinker) or to sleep. these two were the fastest of friends. dude showed them how to shoot a gun and gave them their first pair (which they still have and use). I maintain that my s/i would think he was very pretty upon meeting him but wouldn’t think much of it. He thinks they’re very friendly and takes a liking to them almost immediately.

🫶: Who ended up falling first? Which of them actually realized that they’d fallen in love first?

so…it’s hard to say. mike and dude showed signs of crushing on each other, even before dude ran off with the stage girl. when he came back drunk, and blew his money on alcohol, then sold his stuff to buy more, then started dipping into mike’s money, they started to resent him and refused to speak to him for the next few years. so, they were in denial of their feelings. he was incredibly sorry at the beginning of the movie when they see each other again. he tries his best to see mike, to properly apologize, but mike wasn't having it. they realize their feelings after the scene where dude and colorado sing “my rifle, my pony, and me”. there are little hints though, like dude instinctively grabbing mike's hand or the way mike looks at dude. they're in love but they're in denial (mike is still mad and dude is wary of hurting mike).

🦀: How did they handle realizing they were in love? Embarrassed? Nervous? Mad?

as i said, in denial. dude was certainly nervous and mike was a bit mad initially.

🫣: Who stumbled the most with their feelings around the other? How much did the other person notice?

they were both so caught up in their own heads and the burdette situation that they didn't notice either way.

🦅: How good are their friends at being wingmen? Do they even help at all or just sit back watching the pining with a bag of popcorn?

chance saw it coming but he didn't want to interfere in any way. he saw what the stage girl did to dude, and though he thinks better of mike, he didn't want a repeat of that.

colorado might as well have been loudly chewing popcorn and yelling at the metaphorical screen.

💕: Who confessed first and how? Did it go as planned or did shenanigans ensue?

mike confessed first, on the way to their hotel room. it was awkward and nervous for them both. but it ended with a very sweet kiss.

🦋: How long did it take them to get out of the awkward early relationship stage? Have they gotten more confident around each other?

they were good friends before. the main part of the awkward was dude trusting himself with mike again and mike trusting him again. the trust part took the longest.

❤️‍🔥: Who tends to take the lead with showing affection?

a lot of the time mike does. they can't be around him very long without kissing him or being close to him.

💔: Do they have any previous relationship experience from past partners? How does it reflect on how they handle their current one?

dude does, mike doesn't. depending on the day, he can be quite confident or can swing into insecurities about mike leaving him.

😑: How easily do they get jealous and how do they handle it?

mike's not very jealous. dude isn't really either. there aren't a lot of people in town to be jealous of anyway.

🐱: Do they have pet names for each other, if so what are they? How does their partner feel about their pet name?

mike loves calling him “baby” which he finds nice. dude calls them “honey” most of the time, which mike loves.

🌙: Who has to force the other into having healthy sleeping habits? How well does that go for em?

dude definitely has to coax mike into healthy sleeping habits. sometimes it works, if he lays on the affection really thickly. sometimes mike really can't sleep and doesn't want to try.

🗣️: Who’s the one that will ramble on about their highly specific interest while the other just sits back and nods along?

mike's the rambler for sure.

🐕: Do they have any pets together? If one of them had a pet from before their relationship how well does the pet get along with their partner? Do they have the pets approval or does said pet sit in between them and their partner any time they try to make a move?

we have our horses. they're more like modes of transportation than pete but we do love them.

✏️: How canon compliant are you with them? Do you stick pretty close or just have fun cause it’s your ship so no one can tell you what to do other wise?

pretty canon compliant. I've just added my s/i to the group. I'm nixing chance/feathers post canon for no other reason than it bores me and i don't like it.

💀: If the canon character is canonically dead, how did your OC handle their death? (Or did you completely omit their death cause fuck canon?)

thankfully not

💧: How well do they comfort each other when they’re upset?

they're both doing their best. there's lots of cuddling and hugging and comforting words. mike finds dude's voice comforting by default, and they love to ask him to sing.

🧸: Would they want to have kids together? If so what are their kid(s) like? How are they as parents?

I've been on the fence about this for months and months. i don't know. i flip flop. i think dude would make the cutest dad, i just can't bring myself to imagine myself with kids for too long, even fictionally. if any of my ships ever have fankids, this one and my ship with rick are most likely.

👁️: What exactly do they want with their future with each other? Is that something they think of often or do they just stay in the moment?

we're going to save up to build a ranch together. we will raise horses and have ourselves a little garden.

🕊️: Give just a general domestic tidbit for em (things they like about each other, routines, habits, and just overall sweet stuff)

for a while, they don't share a room at the hotel together, so they sneak into each others rooms in the middle of the night when they want to cuddle up. sometimes one falls asleep alone and wakes up with the other there.

[born-4-this]

🎨 - @/CROWNEDINMARIGOLDS

🙏This is an in character Vampire: The Masquerade/World of Darkness Blog🙏 📿My Personal Blog - Call me Chiss👋 Any pronouns work 📿 🙏 While I try to avoid it, I may well get details wrong; I wasn't raised Catholic nor am I one irl.🙏

👇Character Info 👇 [+ rules @ the bottom]

[Image Source: The Red Sign, p. 94] [Revised Era Sourcebook] [Artist: Vince Locke, his website]

You shall not eat the blood of any creature, for the life of every creature is its blood. Whoever eats it shall be cut off. [Leviticus 17:14]

BRIEF INTRODUCTION Billie Caruso. Soon-to-be Nun, shunned.

Raised by members of the Clergy who had every intention having her follow the through-line straight into ranks of the Society of St. Leopold's oft mistrusted sister order The Order of Saint Joan, Ms. Caruso was denied even so much as a chance to pass her Novitiate and become a full-fledged Sister let alone learn the many and varied truths about what truly goes bump in the night the "proper" way. Embraced at just 19 years of age, wholly dedicated and devout - unpopular with the more-set-in-their ways sisters as her opinions might have been, Billie isn't sure where she went wrong to be shunned so absolutely; besotted with Cain's mark and left to fend for herself... The Good Lord has plans for all of His creatures; perhaps this isn't just a penance to be paid... After all, He has bestowed her with: - 'Visions', like her beloved Joan. A daunting task to heave upon her shoulders, but one nonetheless undertaken dutifully. - The oft sought-after gift of being able to bask in the sun's warmth while bearing Cain's mark. [which, in turn, allows her to observe the Canonical Hours for prayer as she would have during her Novitiate.] Suffice to say, she's still trying to figure it all out and stay 'alive' at the same time. To that end, she interviews willing Full-Blooded cainites when and where she can in an effort to gather her bearings.

[Eugène-Romain Thirion || Joan of Arc listening to her voices]

MERITS

Faith Proof [V5] [Thin-Blood] Whether you consider yourself an atheist or devoutly religious, you remain too close to mortality for True Faith to affect you.

Day Drinker [V5] [Thin-Blood] She's walking on sunshine.

Ingenue [V5] (•) You look completely innocent and blameless, making others believe in your good intentions much easier.

Linguistics [V5] [Latin] (•) Fluent.

Tempered Will [V5] (•••) Your stubborn spirit didn’t die during your Embrace, and you find yourself knowing when people are trying to force you to do something against your will. [Aware of Dominate/Presence attempts]

FLAWS

Night Terrors [V5] [Thin-Blood] She has nightmares she's incapable of remembering until the most inopportune of times... She assumes these to be visions from God and the Heavenly host.

Vitae Dependency [V5] [Thin-Blood] Her, nominally non-existent, disciplines require feeding from a full-blooded vampire once a week to use.

Knowledge Hungry [V5] (Noddism) You always feared that you wouldn’t have the time to learn everything you wanted about what’s truly important. Well, that’s one problem solved. The time to learn is not always now, though — you regretfully put a bookmark in your studies and attend to more life-threatening matters.

No Haven [V5] She has, and you'll never believe this, no haven to call her own.

LORESHEETS

Novice (••) [LS: THE SOCIETY OF ST. LEOPOLD] [Chicago By Night, p. 285]

Your interest in entering into a profession of faith went deeper than most: you were on the verge of entering into your novitiate when that life was permanently torn away from you. Whether you resent this or have accepted it, you retain a considerable amount of interest in and potential contact with members of the local church. These Contacts (equivalent of ••) would naturally include your confessor, the members of the order you were seeking to enter who oversaw your training, fellow novices, or members of the local congregational volunteer groups.

[Bartolome Esteban Murillo || Our Lady of Sorrows]

RULES N' SUCH:

Minors, away with you. 🫵(blocked where spotted) [have a good day, though!👋]

Note: I'm 21.

if anything ever crosses a line or comes across as particularly pointed, please do not hesitate to lmk!!

If you ever have any questions ever/would like a source on a piece of lore I refer to/in general - I'm always happy to help!

Still new-ish to Tumblr RP, please have mercy on me; Caine bless.

RESOURCES

State of Grace [Link to Buy] [Revised Era Sourcebook] [How the children of Caine interact with and adapt to practicing their religions]

Both Hunters Hunted II [V20 Sourcebook] and The Inquisition [Revised Sourcebook] have very, very brief snippets of lore about the Order of St. Joan. Truth be told, you would be better going off to the White Wolf Wiki for information on them as it's 1.) Free 2.) All there.

"Poor little creatures!" she said. "What can a person's heart be made of that can pity a Christian's child and yet can't pity a devil's child, that a thousand times more needs it!" [Mark Twain's Translation of: Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc]