#would’ve been better to introduce him in season 2 like the books and have his guilt at Luke’s betrayal

[theamazingannie]

Very confused why they made it that the solstice already passed. Like I hope they have a reason behind it but it really makes no sense to me making him fail the quest

[phoenixtakaramono]

Well, alright. You’d asked for it.

*Note, to keep this fair, I will be excluding unconfirmed fan theories and merely judge the overall season objectively through the lens of a writer (albeit colored a bit with a bit of bias as a fan who loves the television series). And if I’m going to be shooting alternate ideas of what they could’ve done instead, they’d be on what I think could make more long-term sequel/ spin-off profit/ be better payoffs to set-up season 5.

**Also, no matter who you stan in the show, we all collectively agree The Boys TV is mainly about the story of Butcher and Homelander. They are the main characters; everyone else is their supporting cast to tell their narrative. Before you interject and say “but what about Hughie/ Annie?”—lemme stop you there. Let me ask you honestly, if either Butcher or Homelander died in S5x01, would you honestly keep watching The Boys S5 eps 2-8?

The tl;dr is aside from episodes 4, 7-8, everything else was lackluster and forgettable. There were only kernels of things I’d liked and would keep from the other episodes, but on a whole they’d left very little-to-nonexistent impact on my viewing enjoyment. VoughtHQ had leaked all the episodes so I wasn’t surprised watching anything this season the two big twists (Joe Kessler being a hallucination, and the reveal of Soldier Boy at the end) were already spoiled for me; if anything the expression of my face the entire time was: 😐 (default) or 🫤 (meh) or 😑 (oh, they went there; it could’ve been so much better).

Episode 1: Department of Dirty Tricks

I don’t mind the opening sequence of how they (re)introduced the relevant main characters of the show. But if I had to nitpick, from the writers’ table, you have to recognize S4x01 will be a portion of your audience’s first exposure to the show. Like an opening paragraph of any book, you have to tantalize your viewers. Lure them in—and captivate them into your universe. As a showrunner, you want more people tuning in—and spreading the hype so your show is raking up numbers. Showing newcomers of The Boys epically failing to assassinate Victoria Neuman—while, yes, it does establish Neuman as a legitimate threat and a boss b*tch—is…probably not how I’d open this scene. Because, as a reminder, in S3x08, the finale is of The Boys gathered around the TV looking in horror as Neuman declares her running as VP—with Butcher coming in and diabolically looking into the camera to declare the cvnt’s gotta go. I would’ve loved to have seen this entire season drag out Victoria Neuman’s death. Show us the process of The Boys getting the CIA’s cooperation, convincing and showing Bob Singer proof that his running mate is a Supe, and making a detailed plan to take her out in S4x08. I’d prefer that they build up to it, and we witness a cinematic masterpiece of an exciting heist-like crime thriller like Ocean’s Eleven—but make it bloody and gory and with your usual on brand raunchy humor.

I like the introduction of Homelander, Ryan, and Sage. I would keep all of that. It was very cool to hear Sage deliver her Machiavellian speech about turning the masses and making her allegory comparing Homelander essentially to Caesar and the fall of empires. It’s delightfully twisted—and sets up how crazy things will get.

I have very strong opinions about Joe Kessler.

This is Joe Kessler in the show

This is Howard Joe Kessler (aka Monkey, according to Billy) in the comics

Really? This is Billy’s personification of a tough, grizzled manly man? This nerdy coward who got SAed by monkeys, got kicked in the family jewels by Butcher and whom Butcher later got him SAed by Terror? …Are you starting to see my issue with the writers deciding to cast JDM for this role—when they literally could’ve chosen any other character from the comic?

Let’s put JDM aside for now (great actor, great guy, I just think they could’ve picked a so much better role for him; what a missed opportunity). This is going to be controversial, but honestly they could’ve replaced his character with any other character in Butcher’s life—and it would’ve been so much better and more hard-hitting and more of an emotional roller coaster ride. Especially if it’s, say, a character we’ve seen before so we, the audience, already have an emotional connection to and we, with our preconceived bias, assume, just like with Billy, that they exist in real time because we’ve literally seen them in prior seasons so we know they exist in the universe.

The plot twist about them being Billy’s hallucination would hit that much harder if it’s someone like, and I’m going to suggest a couple examples but hear me out: his abusive “miraculously cancer free” father, Sam Butcher it could’ve worked as a f*cked up father-son bonding experience Billy thought he was getting, but it’s already foreshadowed to us the audience that something’s wrong because Sam Butcher is said to be Stage 4 in a previous season and yet he looks somehow strong and healthy and it’s also strange because why is he in New York when he should be in London (you can even set this up to a future funeral scene where Billy shows up to his father’s grave in London, after his realization that the father he’s still seeing talk trash to him is a manifestation of his imagination and this could’ve served as a son’s projection about how f*cked up his troubled upbringing had been and how it’d impacted him and this could serve as the show’s cycle of abuse commentary, and Billy p*sses on his father’s grave as a homage to the panel from the comics). Or, heck, if it must be Kripke’s OC, maybe make it Becca’s brother—so Billy thinks he’s interacting with his grieving brother-in-law. Or make it Hughie, so when the plot twist is revealed, we, the audience, are like “What, that Hughie/ Billy’s obvious Lenny little brother substitute was a figment of Butcher’s imagination?” Or, make it Billy Butcher’s former case officer (for those who don’t know, think of case officers…like a CIA agent’s supervisor).

Literally any other character could’ve worked as the avatar of Billy’s V-ed up tumor the literal representation of Billy’s true thoughts (the devil on his shoulder, to contrast hallucination!Becca aka the good angel on his shoulder) so the writers can set him up as the show’s hidden boss/ ruthless genocidal Big Bad to defeat going into S5. And I’d just thought of these alternatives rapid-fire and off the top of my head in three minutes.

But, let’s say, Kripke is adamant about keeping JDM casted as Joe Kessler, for whatever reason. JDM is a fan favorite actor so of course you gotta capitalize on his popularity and cast him in the show. What then? Okay. You are introducing a new character in the show, so you need to get your audience emotionally invested in him. You will have failed as a showrunner and writer if I do not give two shites about him. So what I’d do instead is trim out the side-plots and make this episode (or a later episode) dedicated to showing the audience a flashback of Billy Butcher in the past. Imagine. Not only would it be an interesting insight into what Butcher was like younger, now in his days in the SAS or Royal Marines or maybe as a field operative for a paramilitary operation, we can also have the show’s idiosyncratic superhero and political satire commentary. Billy Butcher and Joe Kessler met in Panjshir, Afghanistan. Is this during the War on Terror era? Or a time even before that? Okay, imagine how much we’d care about Joe Kessler if we see a Steve Rogers and Bucky kind of friendship deep in the trenches of Afghanistan? The writers could show us a scene of Kessler shoving Butcher out of the line of fire but gets hurt—and, in return, Butcher heroically deciding to break orders to leave his comrade behind and recklessly go berserk rushing back to the frontlines to save Kessler (this is a character moment they could’ve capitalized on to endear us to Butcher and make us think, hey, despite how terrible he is, this crazy British mad dog also has a loyal, humane side to him even bad guys have their own code of morals; the showrunners could even make this flashback sequence badass and blood-pumping; it could also appeal to the patriotic historical war stans in the audience). The writers can even drop in a tongue-in-cheek Easter egg like a seemingly insignificant conversation about how Butcher and Kessler, as soldiers bonding together, heard about there being this so-called miraculous super serum that was supposed to make soldiers into super soldiers (spoiler alert: it’s Compound V)—and questioning what the heck happened to that? Wouldn’t that have been interesting? Now flash forward back to the present, and have Kessler and Butcher talk about how they’d both gotten jobs in the CIA, and the writer throw in a comic reference by joking how Butcher used to call him Monkey. Don’t reveal to your audience yet that Kessler is a hallucination (the payoff could be where it’s very subtly foreshadowed over a course of a couple episodes that Kessler, actually, had been KIA-ed or expired). The key is that the clues have to be subtle; literally the majority of the audience should not be able to have noticed the strangeness of those lingering pan shots during the first watch-though of season 4. This way the show has rewatch value of fans going back to inspect the show frame-by-frame after the twist is revealed, because now the audience can go back to try to catch what little Easter egg details they’d missed that’d foreshadowed this plot twist all along across the episodes—and now your TV ratings/ numbers are boosted because this shows that people are tuning in to watch.

This ties to my later opinion regarding the twist of Joe Kessler being revealed as Billy’s hallucination—and the tentacles.

Regarding Annie’s subplot with the Starlight House, they rushed too fast into the time skip with it and unfortunately, that sacrifices me from caring about any of these new side characters. I would’ve personally drawn this out by making one of these new characters somehow related to Annie’s past or unknowingly share with Annie about how much they’d admired Starlight as a result of her bravery bringing them out of their own dark trauma. Make me care about these characters—so when the violent protest breaks out, I’m much more gut-wrenched.

Also, I would axe the Colin and Frenchie sideplot completely. I’ll explain why in ep4.

Episode 2: Life Among the Septics

Homelander’s mid-life crisis and his narcissistic tendencies battling against his want to be a good supportive dad for his son is good. I liked the Sage, Ryan, and Homelander moments—especially when Sage said to Homelander’s face: “Ryan is special; he’s more special than you because he’s the first naturally Supe born child.”

What I don’t like is the aftermath of Todd’s death. It’s too quick—and there’s no satisfying feeling of payoff of M.M. feeling conflicted and whatever other emotion you, as the showrunner, want him to portray. Todd is a hilariously iconic Homelander incel fanatic who finally got his dream to meet his hero after all these seasons—and got murked by him; you can’t let Todd go out with just a whimper, writers. Todd was Homelander’s biggest fan. He had his own irl Twitter account. And you gave him a very ironic death in the show—which I would now then capitalize on. I would personally dedicate at least three to five minutes of maybe giving this side character a funeral M.M. is forced to attend and give a eulogy speech on, and this is an opportunity to slip in some kinda relevant subtle satirical commentary or wry punchline to it about not meeting your heroes—or something like M.M. telling his daughter this is what happens when you idolize celebs when they’re actually terrible people behind the scenes.

I like Firecracker’s introduction—and that she’s an obvious red neck conspiracist and Marjorie Taylor Greene inspired parody. And that she’s a C-or-D-list loser who’d be geeked out for an opportunity to be invited into The Seven thanks to Sage—and for a chance to meet and work alongside Homelander.

The whole episode of this conspiracy theory TruthCon convention is very on the nose and amusing to watch, even the centipede-man rimming each other sequence. It’s also an exposé on the American culture (with the title being life among the septics, aka British speak for life among the Americans).

I also like Firecracker revealing that she held a grudge against Annie for having spread rumors about her during their pageant days. I like the whole mean girl aspect of Annie being revealed. Personally I would’ve dragged this out to reveal her true motivation in a later episode; this way we see this new character gunning after Starlight so much and we think to ourselves—damn, woman, why do you hate Starlight so much? So if you keep it a secret for now, there’s now a mystery, so viewers will feel curious about her motivations and be more enticed to tune in.

You already know how I feel about the Frenchie/Colin subplot. It’s meaningless. I would respect it if they’d committed to it, but they didn’t and ended up chickening out of it. So I say axe it completely. I ended up pressing the 10 seconds fast forward button through his scenes—and I didn’t miss out on anything. I’m all for more bi and queer representation in my media—but my tinfoil hat conspiracy theory is that the writers threw this subplot in for Frenchie to detract from the irl controversy regarding Frenchie’s actor. I won’t get into that here but if you know, you know. Did the writers come up with this sideplot because Tomer Capone had to film elsewhere during this time so they made up this B-plot so they could have “Frenchie jailed” and let the actor finish filming his parts or finish whatever his obligation was, before coming back?

Kimiko’s sideplot about confronting her past to heal…I wished they did more for her character sideplot. Her tackling the child traffickers ring could’ve been interesting if they executed it better. Maybe axe Frenchie’s S4 subplot and make it so that it’s revealed Frenchie had accidentally helped out The Shining Light when he’d been a gun runner for Little Nina/ the Russian mafia. Imagine the potential. It turns out Frenchie and Kimiko had met long time ago; and they hadn’t realized. Maybe he’d been hurt and Kimiko, who’d managed to run away, kept quiet about his location when rival mafia members or Asian island cops were out hunting for him. Imagine how cute that’d be (“F: That little girl/ K: young man was you?”); destiny had brought them together again.

For The Boys being split and at odds with each other and excluding Butcher, I hate it. Remove that from this season. It’s a retread of previous seasons—and it bogs down the story when it doesn’t have to. You only have eight episodes. There’s no tension—because you already know they’re going to all somehow get together again, so this feels like unnecessary drama for drama’s sake.

Episode 3: We'll Keep the Red Flag Flying Here

This is the episode that delivered Karl Urban putting on an apron and going through the process of lovingly baking drug-laced cookies for Ryan—and, in the end, doing the morally right thing by binning the cookies and, instead, having an actual emotional heart-to-heart with Becca’s child. This feels like progress. It feels necessary. And I like that. It’s fanservice—but it’s fanservice with a bit of a reference to Sam Butcher having been a baker who ran his own bakery back in London in the comic. So of course William J. Butcher must’ve picked up on some baking cooking? skills from his dad and maybe from his mum?.

I’ll be honest, this is the only thing^ plus Homelander’s meltdown at the end of the episode that interested me. They needed a way to transition into Homelander's homecoming episode, and I actually enjoyed seeing him express his frustration at Ryan ("why am I not enough for you?"). Perfect and much needed character moment. Everything else though in the episode I’ve forgotten—which means it was unmemorable and lackluster and could’ve been skipped. This might've been the ice skating episode and if it is, I'd either remove the scene of Hughie escaping through the ducts (how is the common layperson supposed to know ducts are made of zinc? how wouldn't Homelander's hyper-sensitive sense of smell and hearing not be able to pinpoint where Hughie is?) or go about Hughie's plot armor a different way.

I don’t have much of other suggestions because this ties into my thoughts for the other episodes. Now you’d freed up more screentime to focus on other important things.

(⬇️For my thoughts about eps 4-8 ⬇️)

Episode 4: Wisdom of the Ages

It’s our insight in Homelander’s upbringing, and is important for both character introspection and plot development. I am relieved Antony Starr took a look at the script Kripke initially showed him—and went, “wait, that’s cruel and flat if I just go in and slaughter them; if I’m returning to my origins, I think it’d be more complex if I return to my origins and it’s like I’m still this lost child.” (Not his exact words from the interview but you get the gist.) I have nothing I’d change about this episode. I love everything this episode—whenever the camera reverted back to Antony Starr’s scenes.

My gripes with this episode is minor in the grand scheme of things. It has to do with the Frenchie/Colin subplot (okay, we saw the disaster a mile away; and this later inspires Frenchie to turn himself in…the writers could’ve literally skipped this whole subplot and it wouldn’t even detract from the story. In fact, this frees up screentime to focus on far more important things to advance the plot or give character development time).

The abortion subplot is also unnecessary drama. You could’ve removed it—and it doesn’t detract from S4’s story. Abortion already is such a controversial sensitive topic, and if the writers insist on the abortion subplot, okay, since this is a dark comedy satirical show, I would go balls to the wall and make this an episode 1 reveal where Annie has been puking all over and gaining weight. It’s when she misses her period that she thinks ‘oh no’ and whips out a pregnancy test. Now the writers have an opportunity to lampoon both sides. Maybe both Hughie and Annie are on the fence about it—and this is a character moment where Hughie reveals Butcher’s and Becca’s backstory to Annie. Everyone is encouraging them to have the baby but 1) they’re involved in a dangerous fight against Homelander/ Vought so do they really want Annie to be incapacitated and potentially lose their child, 2) what if it’s a Supe baby; what then are the complications and body horror potential HL literally lasered his bio mom’s belly and, in the comics, Ryan had literally killed comic Becca from childbirth and comic Butcher had to kill the baby himself, 3) and now there’s this fear that maybe Vought could get their hands on their child, take him/her away from them, and raise them like a lab rat. Do they really want all this to happen? The writers can show Hughie and Annie having a conflict about this instead of the Shifter Annie conflict, and it would hit harder. Do you understand the point I’m making? Do you see the emotional upheaval and impact this could’ve had—instead of the offscreen mention of Annie having an abortion?

The reveal of Butcher having taken V off-screen was a bad decision. This is a character defining moment for Butcher. Why did you make it off-screen? As a writer, I would’ve shown Butcher being torn up about it or—if they must save screentime—show it via flashbacks of his internal struggle. Show, don’t tell. The conversation he had with Hughie would’ve hit that much harder when Hughie contemplated injecting his dying father with V.

Episode 5: Beware the Jabberwock, My Son

The way Homelander changed his methodology of manipulating reconnecting with his son after is, in my opinion, not bad. Adam Bourke is a slimy man who deserved to be slapped. This also shows Ryan becoming more like his father, in a way. We get to see Ryan enjoying the power he has—but it’s “justified” because Ryan is essentially saving a damsel in distress.

Everything else though at the farm, oh boy. The return of Stan Edgar was fun, but too short. I honestly felt Giancarlo Eposito’s cameo was underutilized. He should’ve been the star of the episode—with the obvious virus plotline being introduced. Personally I would’ve moved this higher up as an earlier episode or foreshadow to this farm. Literally this could’ve been in S4x01 because in the last episode of Gen V S1, we see Butcher smirk at the implications of there now being this deus ex machina virus to take down Homelander. This could’ve been a strong opening episode, especially for those who haven’t read the comics or haven’t seen Gen V.

With what we got, I mean…yeah, the V-ed up rabid chickens, water buffalo, and sheep with bamboon fangs are kinda funny—as well as Butcher’s hilarious quips about V-ed up Kentucky fried chickens and his cold suggestion for the team to split up (“you don’t got to be the fastest *smirks* just not the slowest”) but the entire sequence could’ve been resolved much, much quicker and not be as drawn out.

I did like the metaphor of Butcher releasing the Temp-V lab rabbit (a metaphor of himself, and it’s a rare glimpse of his soft side), and the foreshadowing of the tentacles out of the rabbit’s lifeless body and Billy stomping it to death. I also liked the inclusion of Dr. Sameer Shah.

The B-plot of Hughie euthanizing his V-ed father, gee thanks mom, see what your power of attorney did…I will begrudgingly accept because this shows us the consequence had Hughie actually gone through with his plan. But obviously it can’t be Hughie—so it has to be his mom. I understand the possible writing intention. Plus, in the entire episode, this Hughie scene between Hugh Sr was the most emotionally invested I had been in this episode. Simon Pegg gave his best performance, and it’s the proper send-off to give to the man whom Garth Ennis based his comic Hughie’s appearance from and who had voiced Hughie in the animated Diabolical episode. I say, this is very deserved. Now, the mother sideplot, I can argue, was frankly underutilized; either the writers could’ve gotten rid of her character entirely (I prefer this because she’s honestly unnecessary to the plot) or dedicated more screentime to her. If you argue she was needed because she’d encouraged Hughie to propose to Annie and tie her down with the family heirloom ring, Hugh Campbell Senior could’ve done that. It fits the narrative of him being a single father for Hughie—so it’s even more devastating that he passes away. A lot of the audience can resonate with the loss of a paternal figure.

*EDIT: Hughie’s mother was underutilized this season. Imagine if we, instead, got to see Hughie encounter his mom at her MLM-like business with Voughtality selling herbal supplements and oils. Imagine the delicious conflicted feelings, and we see how brainwashed his mom is. Imagine that torment. His character arc could be trying to reconnect with his mom after his dad passed away—and trying to get her to see the truth. It can be The Boys’ social commentary on MLMs and cults and fanaticism and capitalism/ big corporations.

Episode 6: Dirty Business

Ah, this episode…every episode 6, according to Kripke, has to be the wildest episode in the show. I fear…that, while, yes, it was kiiiiinda wild, this isn’t the wild epic reviled? shocker they were hoping we’d feel and instead made a lot of people unhappy. This is the start of the “Hughie being SAed across three episodes straight” trend. S3x06: Herogasm was liked not only for the shock value of debauchery but also because it’d advanced the plot.

Firecracker’s actress, Valerie Curry, mentioned that she personally headcanons Firecracker having feelings for Starlight. I would’ve loved to see that extrapolated in this episode (and hinted in other episodes, like maybe showing us a couple seconds where we see Firecracker had kept an old crumpled magazine cover of Starlight in a f*cked up kinda creepy Starlight shrine with her face’s likeness showing signs of having been sparked or scratched out) because that adds a whole new layer of complexity to her character. We got a bit of it when she’d cornered Annie at the Vernon estate after she’d emerged from the bathroom with bloodshot eyes having felt a little hurt being excluded by the Mean Girls cool club (Homelander, Sage, and Victoria) and Annie apologizes to her face about it not being cool to have said that about her in the past—but then Annie showed her true intentions stabbing her in the neck.

Now, imagine, instead if we’d drawn this out even more. Firecracker’s writhing on the floor and screaming at her that she knew Annie was a lying backstabbing snake—and she blames herself for being stupid to have given Annie one more chance, and look where her forgiveness had done to her? She yells to Annie, who looks back guiltily, that Annie is still the b*tch from her memory and she’s not the good person that she thinks she is. Do you see how much more powerful this’d be instead of what we got?

Tek Knight, oh Tek Knight, look how they’ve massacred you, my poor hole obsessed man. Personally I’m all for creative liberty (for example, I would argue the genderbent female Stormfront in the show is an improvement on the comic’s male Stormfront who’d been Homelander’s real biological father technically/ sperm donor/ clone variant of his DNA). I’d even liked what they’ve done with him in Gen V S1—and was looking forward to what shenanigans he’d wreak in The Boys. And, oh boy, this is the best the Writers Room could come up with? Tek Knight is VERY different in the comics; I mean, yes, Butcher and Hughie did beat him up but in the end they decided to spare him. Comic Tek Knight is aware he has a problem (his obsession with f*cking holes) and sought therapy to no avail and even sent his Laddio away so he doesn't do the unthinkable to his minor sidekick.

Personally, since now the Vernon correctional facilities plot is going nowhere (is it? Or maybe, upon his death, by proxy he’d transferred the deed over to Homelander for his supposed modern-day imprisonment camps?), I would maybe have the entire thing take place at a Vernon Correctional Facility instead of at his manor/ Tek Cave obvious Batman reference with the whole BDSM plot. Or, heck, if you’d really wanted the BDSM plot, maybe make your corrupt judges being bribed to stuff-the-Vernon-jails-with-innocent-men-so-he-can-be-rich irl commentary (because it is a thing irl; even Leverage TV did an episode on this with this concept), have The Boys infiltrate a Vernon jail (it can only be Hughie, Frenchie, or if you want to go ham-fisted with the social commentary, go with M.M.), and have that character react to discovering a secret cabal of depraved folks forcing ordinary powerless prisoners to be pimped out as BDSM s3x toys for Supes and senators/ other powerful people in high positions of authority—and their deaths being disguised as runaways, killed by jail mates, su*cide, violent prison riots, what have you. Think about it. To these Supes and politicians and authority figures, they don’t think they’re doing a bad thing—because they’re giving punitive punishment to criminals i.e. “the bad guys” by depriving them of their rights and free will and consent to say no and subjecting them to their perversions. Think about the f*cked up social commentary implications and potential.

Think about it. Tek Knight is a parody of Bruce Wayne/ Batman and Iron Man. Think about what we could’ve gotten had the writers satirized Arkham Asylum/ Gotham Prison in The Boys universe. This could’ve been an episode about the American prison system.

The reveal of Kessler being able to see hallucination!Becca didn’t land a huge impact on me. 1) VoughtHQ spoiled it with their Fight Club “fanart.” Even if I hadn’t seen VoughtHQ’s leaks, this “plot twist” could’ve been seen a miiiiiiiiile away. The writers made it so obvious (Butcher talking to the air) that the twist just didn’t land as hard as it could’ve….

…About the breastfeeding scene. Personally, when Antony Starr said this was the craziest thing he’d done, my mind leapt at far wilder possibilities. So when VoughtHQ leaked that it was this scene, I was a tad let-down, lol. But I suppose I’ll take it. Homelander’s 100 micro-expressions, going from shock to confusion/ intrigue, during that scene was funny. That shot of milk getting squirted into his mouth was obviously done for the fanservice and the memes. You can expect fan artists and fan writers to go crazy with it because, hint, think about what else that white liquid could be substituted with and squirted into his face/ mouth.

Episode 7: The Insider

It’s the Christmas episode. Why, on god’s green earth, would you choose to ignore the perfect opportunity presented on a platter to you to not tie this back to the Vought Christmas party 12–13?—years ago (look, it happened in S1x07, and this is the 7th episode of S4 le gasp) and peel back the curtain to reveal more details about what might’ve happened between Becca Saunders and Homelander a decade ago? It’s the catalyst for Butcher’s antagonism against Homelander. This is a huge missed opportunity for both plot development and character development for Butcher.

What could’ve hit even more is Ryan, after receiving the framed photograph from Butcher, asking Homelander about how he’d met his mother in the first place and got him conceived when his bio mom had been in a loving relationship with this other man smart, Ryan, you’re now showing your smarts. And Homelander fumbles to tell him a fairytale version of How I Met Your Mother—but we get a true flashback simultaneously that contradicts exactly what he’s telling Ryan.

Now you have an opportunity to make it clear cut and double down on the SA angle of Homelander having r*ped her (now you spell it out for the folks in the audience who still don’t believe it; you leave no room for ambiguity anymore), or if you want to make it complicated you have an opportunity to showcase that Becca had known Butcher had cheated on her with a waitress and so in a fit of revenge she’d gone to cheat on him with Homelander—except it’d backfired on her. And now you have the opportunity to make Butcher feel even more of a survivor’s guilt because this meant she’d done it because of him. So this is his fault, this is what he tells himself.

Otherwise, I loved this episode essentially being about Ryan's turn in the spotlight and his character introspection moment. ...That's all I liked, plus this tying back to Butcher being smug and proud of him. And Homelander's scenes.

The last minute reveal of Shapeshifter Annie is introduced too late for me to give a damn. This could’ve been a really cool concept. They should’ve introduced her much earlier in episode 1 or 2; personally I prefer episode 2 because maybe you could tie her to someone Sage had found at the TruthCon expo. Because to me this is an obvious satire of the whole concept of reptilian lizardmen walking amongst us, camouflaging themselves as ordinary people in society. I would’ve preferred seeing hints of Shifter Annie early on to establish for as this threat lurking in the background—so when this happens where she shifts into Annie, bam, it hits that much harder. As of now, this subplot of Shifter Annie feels randomly injected too late into the season.

Episode 8: Season Four Finale/ Assassination Run

Victoria Neuman, like her comic book male counterpart Victor Neuman (Vic the Sheep), was always going to die one way or another. I don’t get the outrage seeing her go the Gen V enjoyers who watched Gen V first and came to watch The Boys after that are even more obvious. In the comic, Neuman was sworn in as president of the United States after Bob Singer dies and this is how sworn-in president Victor Neuman goes out:

Personally I do not mind her death being this early and in S4, but with her being set up as this cunning political savvy boss b*tch in the TV series, it would’ve been even more compelling, dramatic, and fun Easter egg reference to the comic if the writers kept her alive until S5, when the inevitable betrayal happens and Homelander rips her head off in Homelander’s descent into madness—or The Boys or Butcher kill her instead.

The way Shifter Annie subplot was resolved was anticlimactic. I might’ve cared a little more if it wasn’t mostly this one episode where we get to see her be a threat. Wouldn’t it have been so much more interesting and f*cked up if the writers showed Shifter Annie, as VoughtHQ initially alleged, becoming very, very enamoured by this happy married double life she could be having with this tall twink of a man? Give her some more depth. Annie blowing up at Hughie for not noticing…I’m on two fences about it. I get it; she was imprisoned for that long so she took it out on Hughie; it’s very human. On the other hand, Annie would not f*cking blow up at Hughie because he, too, had nonconsentually been conned into f*cking a stranger and proposing marriage to her. What could’ve been a sweet moment between them had been ruined by this chameleon homewrecker.

The scene with Butcher on the hospital bed, with Grace Mallory and Ryan visiting…I don’t necessarily hate it. Could it have been executed differently—and much better? Oh, most definitely. The writers essentially scrubbed away all of Butcher’s character development this season by “allowing Joe Kessler control of his body”—and cue evil genocidal maniac Butcher in S5 that I am pretty sure Hughie will still be the one to end him like in the comics. Like, c’mon. Unless Butcher self-sacrifices himself at the end nobly in S5, the narrative has been setting up the budding emotional tension and conflict between Hughie’s and Butcher’s final confrontation. But going back on topic, I could see the argument of Grace not thinking clearly in the moment like a concerned aunt/ grandma—and it backfired on her. Ryan coldly looking at her warm corpse is an obvious callout to Butcher, and us the audience, how eerily similar Ryan still is to his dad, Homelander. He’s Becca’s son, but he’s still his father’s son. It’s a very painful reminder for Butcher—which is why he cedes control to evil Butcher (tumor Kessler).

...In this season, they'd really nerfed Homelander a lot, huh? Not only the zinc ducts, but also him being a teary crybaby.... Ah. I don't mind it per se, but...man, I need to be reminded of the Homelander we saw in S1-2 (and S3). Him telling Ryan about the Bad Room off-screen was also a terrible decision; if this was instead acted out, it would make Ryan��s conflicted feelings even more heartbreaking because this is a 12-year old kid whose father scares him/ makes him uncomfortable, but this is still his flesh-and-blood biological father; he recognizes his father is a broken man but he’s literally the only parent this child has left. This is a situation irl that certain members of your audience will be able to relate to.

I did like what they did with Ashley though, with her taking V. I'm super curious what her superpower will be in S5. I also liked Sage coming back and telling Homelander she had fun coming up with this plan—just to see if she could. Stone cold. I love her.

I have a gripe with the V-ed tentacles (what the hentai tentacle p0rn?). Not only is it lame as h3ll (I understand this is probably a parody to capitalize on the Venom symbiote hype, as well as this possibly being a reference to the Diabolical episode), but they had a perfect set-up before with Butcher's powers in S3 ironically matching Homelander's with the super strength, durability, and laser eyes. It was sweet, perfect poetic irony, drawing uncomfortable parallels between Butcher and Homelander—and showing that they're foils of one another, two sides of the same coin. They could've shown us Butcher experimenting on his own body to see if he can find Homelander's weaknesses that he can use. It was the perfect set-up. But nooooo, now we have tentacles. This creative decision was probably made for the memes. Say what you will of The Boys writing staff, but they know their fanbase. TV Canon Tentacles Butcher was definitely fanservice.

The Soldier Boy reveal at the end…they have Jensen Ackles. With that star power and his surprising popularity with The Boys fans and Supernatural fans, I can understand why they hamfisted an end credit scene where he cameos again—and that’s the cliffhanger we end the season on, where Homelander tearfully overlooks his cryofrozen biological father and idol. Personally idgaf about Soldier Boy—my controversial opinion: Soldier Boy is honestly an overhyped character—but, again, I get it. Gotta make the fans excited. It’s fanservice.

Overall though, I really enjoyed Sage’s moments and A-Train’s redemption arc throughout the episodes.

I'm still tentatively excited for S5. I hope the writers learn from their S4 mistakes and deliver us an epic finale that goes out with a bang and not a whimper.

These are my own personal opinions however. If you were in the Writers Room, what would you change/ keep?

Would anyone want hear my honest unfiltered opinion(s) or breakdown about what I liked/ didn’t liked/ wished the writers had done differently for The Boys season 4, now that the season is complete and all 8 episodes are out?

Because, spoiler alert:

[bokutosworld]

convenience store stranger | suna rintarou

pairing: suna x f!reader  word count, genre: 2.1k words, college au. fluff. another meet cute story lol.  warning: none  summary: in which your late shifts become less boring and more interesting when a cute stranger stumbles in at 2 AM.  a/n: my first time writing for suna god im scared but i really liked how this turned out!! 

The first time he meets you happens on one of his late night convenience store runs. It was exams season and Suna’s been pulling all-nighter after all-nighter. To say he was exhausted would’ve been an understatement. 

He’s barely making it through on the third night and if he didn’t take a break soon, he was sure he’d have passed out on his desk. With his mind hazy from reading too many words and trying to understand a semester’s worth of lessons in one night, he decides to stand up and get some fresh air. 

Which is how he found himself currently standing at aisle four of the only convenience store that was still open near his apartment. He scans the rack for something that can wake him and his brain up. He doesn’t know how long he’s been standing but he could definitely feel eyes burning holes in the back of his head. 

He settles on a pack of jelly sticks and a cup of spicy instant noodles and heads towards the counter. You mutter a greeting when he reaches the cashier and begin scanning his items. 

When he hands over the cash for payment, your fingers brush with his cold ones, making you recoil harshly as if he was repulsing.

“Something wrong?” He laughs when he sees your reaction. “I know I look like a mess now but I won’t bite you.” He bends his knees slightly, tilting his head to get a look at your embarrassed face.

“No, I’m sorry.” You avoid his intense gaze, continuing to pack his purchase. When you look at him, he’s still staring with his piercing eyes that it almost takes your breath away. 

Shaking your head to bring yourself to reality, you give him his items. “Your hands felt cold and I was just shocked.” You feel that same electricity sparking between you again when he takes the bag from you. “I.. well.. thank you. Have a great evening.”

“It’s 2 AM,” Suna chuckles and you sigh before correcting yourself and bowing to him in goodbye. “See you around,” he shouts over his back as he walks out the door. It was the first time he saw you in that store and he was sure it wasn’t going to be the last. 

The second time he’d actually planned it according to your shift. If his past trips to the store were anything to go by, he’d learned that you always took the evening shift. It was something he discovered after being called out by your co-worker on the third time that he restlessly looked around the store during a visit. 

He should be on his bed, phone in his hand as he mindlessly scrolled until he fell asleep. But with the memory of his interaction with you lingering on his mind, he wanted to see you.

“Hey, got time for a customer?” He greets the moment he steps inside the empty convenience store. You look up from the book that you were reading and quickly stand to welcome him. “What are you reading?” 

Hiding the book from his view, you retort, “Aren’t you going to buy something?” 

He grins, taking in your tired disposition and the bags that had formed under your eyes before retreating to the shelves. When he returns, he slides over a can of energy drink, iced coffee, and a large bag of chips. 

You assume he’d leave immediately once he’s paid for everything. You certainly didn’t expect him to take out the coffee and give it to you. 

“This is for you.” He opens his own drink and leans by the counter. “Doesn’t it ever get boring here? I mean it’s midnight and you’re alone. I’m betting not many people even drop by at this time.” He faces the door, crossing his arms around his chest and staring at both of your reflections at the glass. 

Worn out from your classes in the day, you take his coffee offering, instantly feeling the rush of caffeine flow through your veins and waking you up. “The job pays relatively well. Besides I can’t really work in the mornings, I have uni.”

“So you’re a college student too.” He turns around and extends a hand out to you. “I’m Suna Rintarou.”

You introduce yourself as you shake hands with him. And as soon as pleasantries were exchanged, he immediately launched into a story about how his earlier day went. He was a natural conversationalist and despite this being your first time talking with him, you didn’t feel an ounce of awkwardness. You didn’t know what it was about him but his presence made you feel comfortable. 

You learned about what he was studying (to your surprise, Psychology), how he spends his weekends playing volleyball (he was a middle blocker and an excellent one at that, he boasted), and how he ended up here during the night he first saw you (the all-nighter went well and he passed all his exams). 

He rips open the chips he bought and offers you some as you lay your story before him. He munches as he listened to you rant about how you loathed your course (Business Management) and the many case studies and papers you had to do each day. He nods his head in understanding as you explain why you needed this part-time job (to pay for apartment fees). 

You were having so much fun in his company that you didn’t notice the time pass by. (He arrived to the store at 12:32 AM. The clock on the wall now reads 2:32 AM). And for the duration of his stay, you were surprised that no one ever came by. He only ever left your side when a taxi driver walked in. 

Suna steered clear from the counter and kept his distance as you did your job. From your peripheral, you could see that he watched you like a hawk from the side and it made you somehow conscious. When the customer exited, you playfully threw a tissue at him, 

“I couldn’t concentrate when you were standing there and looking at me like that!” 

He went back to his position but this time, he leaned close with his hands on the counter. “Like what?"  

Well how could you say to him that you thought he looked effortlessly hot in his sweatshirt and track pants? And was that an adorably messy bedhead? How could you say that you liked the teasing smile that he’d been giving you throughout the night?  

You chuckle and shake your head, “Nothing.” You reach for the book you were reading prior his arrival and took your seat. “Don’t you have classes tomorrow? You should go back.”

“Do you not want me around anymore?” 

“It’s not that, I…”

He cuts you off, “Good, then it’s settled. I’m not going anywhere. I like talking with you too much to go back home. Let me entertain you some more.” He sits down at the chair on one of the tables near the counter and then goes back to chatting with you. 

Since that night, Suna had been scheduling more trips to the convenience store. Sometimes, he’d really only visit to bother you. At times, he’d bring his books and laptop with him so he could work on a paper while you restocked the shelves and cleaned around. On rare occasions, he’d help you out on a business plan and the customers who’d enter the store would be amused at the sight of you and him huddled behind the counter with your serious thinking faces on. 

He’d become a part of your life that it felt unnerving not to have him around on your shifts. And it certainly showed on your face how disappointed and heartbroken you were when consecutive nights passed without his visits. Your co-worker even called you out on it. 

“So where’s the cutie been?” She asked one time when the two of you were at the back lounge while you logged in for your shift. You groan at the nickname she gave him and she laughs at you.

“How would I know?” 

“Don’t you guys talk almost every day and night?”

“Only on nights that he visits me.” You pause, thinking about the possibilities why he could’ve stopped coming. And before you knew it, you were ranting. “God, are we even friends? I don’t know his number. Did he ghost me? Is this considered ghosting? It’s been a week. I’m scared I did or said something.” 

She’s watching you pace around the room. “Maybe he got bored of me. Or maybe he realized I’m not really worth his time and dipped. Sleeping is much better than hanging out with me at 1 AM anyway.”

You’re stopped in your tracks when she suddenly grabs your shoulders. “Overthinking is not a good look on you.” She makes you take deep breaths to calm down. “I’m sure he’s just busy right now. He’ll visit again soon.” 

“I don’t know why I’m being like this.” 

The look she gives you is incredulous, her mouth gaping wide at your statement. “Are you serious?” 

“What?” You ask, not anticipating the next words that would come from her. 

“It’s obvious that you like him.” 

The next time you see him was on campus. You don’t know how long it’s been since he last spent time with you on your shift. (Though if you were counting, you were definitely sure that it’s been two weeks and three days since then.) 

You tried not to think too much about what his absence could mean but the pang in your heart never left. Those two weeks that he didn’t show up allowed you some time to think about your conversation with your friend. You like him. 

Back then, you were too quick to shut down the idea. Denying any ounce of feeling for the boy as you saw him as no more than someone who had too much time on his hands to bother you on your shifts. A good friend is what you specifically used to defend your relationship with him. 

So then why was it that your heart was beating so rapidly as Suna waved at you from across the cafeteria? Why couldn’t you stop smiling as you watched him make his way to your table and sit down beside you?

“Hey there.” He slings his arms around and pulls you for a side hug. “Long time no see.” 

You almost couldn’t hear him over the loud thumping of your heart in your ears. He’s still smiling and waiting for you to reply. “Yeah, been a while. I’ve gotten the peace and quiet back in my shifts.” 

He breaks out in laughter while opening a snack bar. “I’m sorry I haven’t been able to stop by. I just came out from a major presentation that I’ve been preparing for during the past weeks. And guess what?” 

You perk your eyebrows at his question. “What?” 

“Our group did great.” He raises a hand for a high-five and you indulge him. “The teacher liked our slides and our analysis of the topic. Ah, I feel so good right now!” He leans back with his hands behind his head, but he suddenly jerks. 

“We should go out!” Suna grabs your hands and looks at you expectantly. “You’re free the whole day tomorrow right? You’re not working the shift? Let’s celebrate. It’s my treat!” 

Feeling overwhelmed by his invitation and his overall excitedness, you laugh and pull back. “Calm down, Suna. I don’t know about tomorrow.” 

“Why? Are you busy?”

“Not really but..” 

“Then it shouldn’t be a problem.” He tucks a loose hair behind your ear, leaning close with his voice barely over a whisper, “It’s perfect. I’ve wanted to take you on a date for a long time now.” 

“What?” You stare at him wide-eyed. 

“Come on, you’ve never thought about us?” He finds the situation entertaining. Your flustered reaction reminds him of the night that he met you. 

“Why do you think I’ve been coming to the convenience store when I could be sleeping at that time? I like being around you. My day doesn’t feel complete if I don’t at least see you or tell you about my day or listen to you rant about the latest episode of your favorite series.”

You like him. 

“Go out with me.” He kisses the back of your hand. “Please?” 

The corners of your lips unconsciously curves up and Suna sends your heart doing somersaults when he says something about how he’s finally got to see the beautiful smile he’s been wanting to see for weeks. 

Your friend was right. You do like him.  

[latenightdecaf]

Entry 7 - Summer of Vulnerability

part of let the pile of good things grow series - series masterlist

previous entry here

Yoongi x reader

Ft. nonidol!bts (glimpse of ex-boyfriend!namjoon)

Producer!yoongi, roommate!yoongi, soft!yoongi

slow burn romance, friendship, slice of life

series of drabbles/one shots

warnings: alcohol consumption

a/n: okay so here goes y/n remembering his ex!joon also will never get over of in the soop yoongi! can’t wait for the new season. Thank you guys for reading! 🙈

word count: 2,546

Went home from the grocery and some of their wines are on sale so you got carried away and bought 8 bottles and to your surprise, Yoongi’s cooking steak. “oh my God!” You exclaimed as soon as you saw him cooking in the kitchen with paperbag of wines in your arms. Yoongi looked at you with a confused face.

“Did you just read my mind or what??! There’s a sale on the corner deli and…” raising both of your hands as if surrendering, “okay don’t judge me yet but i got a little carried away.”

“A little carried away? You looked like the world’s going to run out of wine tomorrow.”

He smiled on your disclaimer and shaking his head as he paid his attention back to his steak.

“No.” You sighed. “Nothing went my way today, not at all—but i dont want to think about it. I’m psyching myself out of it you see, or better yet i’m drowning myself on these babies.” As you drank your first glass empty. “My eternal companion, the love of my life…”

He turned to your direction, only to see you hugging the bottles of wine that you bought.

He turned to your direction, only to see you hugging the bottles of wine that you bought.

“Come on clear the tables, your babies are not going anywhere.” He declared as he puts down 3 steaks and some aglio olio with honestly way too much garlic because it’s Yoongi.

“I didn’t saw you made pasta also. I am so happy now.” You happily exclaimed as you took a bite of your new favorite steak. “But why the 3 steaks? You hungry?”

He sat in front of you, filling your glass with wine and his too.

“You need food before you chug them all up. I’m not gonna clean up your mess. So you better get it together today. I tell you.” He scolded you.

“Sure sure.” As you immediately devour the pasta he made.

One bottle of wine down. He let you listened to a ‘sketch’ he’s been working on lately. Carefully studying your already flushed face for any reaction. He does this sometimes, ask for your opinion even though you have zero idea about music and producing or anything related to that for that matter.

All he considers is whether you winced at the melody of it, or you nod and eventually smile as it goes. But this time you’re just staring blankly in your wine glass, circling it repeatedly as the sketch ended at exactly 2 mins and 19 secs. And when it ended you looked straight at him.

“This looks like it’s almost done right?” You commented. “Yeah.” As he gulps on his wine, emptying another glass.

“And you wrote the lyrics also?” He nodded.

You looked away and sighed. “It’s too beautiful—Sad and in pain, feels tormented also but beautiful.”

He blinked several times at your words. You’ve heard several of his sketches before and you’d just always say, ‘it sounds good, but Yoongi—i have no idea about music. Zero.’ But he’d let you hear it anyway for couple more times and he’d smile at your ignorant reactions.

This time however, doesn’t seem like a laughing matter. Something about your words got his heart beating faster and he has no idea if its just the amount of alcohol he has consumed by now or just you.

You clinked on his empty glass. And asked, “You want more?” He nodded. And you poured him another. “Remember the girl, I introduced to you before?” You stopped and think for a second and it dawned to you. “Hell yeah, I remember.”

“She’s actually my ex-girlfriend.” He declared.

“Well that I did not expected. The ex part. I can tell though she looks really special.”

“Well, we’re together for a while. But now we’re just co-workers for this debut song of a girl I told you about before. That’s why she was here also the last time, we were looking through old sketches that I have after the meeting. We actually finished that quite early. ”

He never really talked that much about himself. He’s good at talking about work, which for you is already more than enough. You know that despite your living situation, he’s not really obligated to get personal if he doesnt want to. And besides, you also don’t want to. Your end of the rope for sure is scared of any form of vulnerability anyway—so you’re not expecting or demanding that from anybody else.

“So you’re just co-workers now?”

“Yeah, I think so. I really don’t know what I feel.”

“Well, relationships are messy my friend.” Raising your glass of wine as if to cheers and chugging it in one go.

Not sure of what to say next but he looks like he’s in mood to talk but the topic looks too sensitive to even crack a joke so you continued drinking despite the eerie atmosphere.

“If you dont mind me asking, what happened?” Yes, despite your immense effort to hold yourself back. Like any other novel you read, you have this eager feeling to know how it ends. Your mind is literally shouting, ‘But I gots to know!!’

And so you asked. Half fearing for your life for being too nosy and half expecting that you might be up for a good story. Elbows resting on the table, with your chin at the palm of your hand looking eager to hear the story.

“We’ve been together for a while”

“Yeah, you said that already.. and that she’s a song writer. I figured.” Unconsciously saying your thoughts out loud.

“You wanna tell the story instead?” He teasingly reacted in a straight face.

“I didn’t mean to say that out loud… I literally said that in my mind and my mouth just burst it open. They both can’t coordinate that well. I’m sorry. You may continue…sir. Please don’t cut my head off.” You love teasing him.

“You’re drunk.” He was pointing out the obvious by that time, after two bottles of wine.

“Yes she’s a songwriter. They said before thay she’s the words to my melody. Well… before.”

Something about those words just made your heart ache. Frowning in his words you continue to listen.

“We’re together for about 2 years? And then on and off after…. She cheated on me, slept with another producer from another company. I really thought that was the end but after that i still accepted her. I don’t know why.”

“Aigoo you dumbass solider of love. And then??” Continuously frowning in frustration led you to keep on drinking.

He has no plans of actually telling this story tonight, it just poured out. You’re just one of those people that actually listens. He has seen you before, how intensely you focus on a movie or in a book that it bothers you for day. You love hearing stories and your willingness felt like a safe space for his unspoken scars.

“She keeps coming back to me and I keep accepting her. That’s it.”

With a confused look on your face, “I don’t get it.”

“Like you said, relationships are messy.” He’s obviously trying to close the topic already but that’s not going to stop you—you never stop midway of the story. This is not how it ends.

“Messy is one thing, toxic is another. And since when are you a coward? You don’t strike me as one. Really.” ‘Yeah i was.’ Yoongi thought in his head. Words are just literally pouring out of your mouth by now, drowning yet another glass. Yoongi opening your forth bottle.

“Boy, I bought the wrong alcohol tonight, tequila would’ve been perfect.” You declared as he pours you a refill. He laughed at this comment, he kept wondering sometimes how easy it is for you to make him laugh.

“No but all kidding aside… Hard question coming in, Min Yoongi. Do you still love her?” Looking right at his eyes and him staring back at you as he answered. “No, we broke up a month before I moved in here.”

‘That’s quite a while, at least 9 or 10 months now…’ you thought to yourself

“Yeah but having been broken up doesn’t mean that love is gone. It’s not a switch you know.”

“I know. And I wish it was, she’s was a big part of my life I’m not denying that and maybe she always will be. But I’ve changed, she has changed—we’re no longer the same people that we were in the same relationship where I keep questioning my self worth. That’s done now, over. Love took a turn, and it doesn’t look the same anymore. We’re just co-workers now that’s all.”

You like the way he said it. Being no longer the same people that they were. You nodded in his statement not sure what to say next and also feeling a little dizzy.

“I gotta pee.” You suddenly declared and stood up, ran in small steps to the bathroom with Yoongi smiling at you and shaking his head.

And when you got back, he got you a warm water on your favorite mug.

Your thoughts are all over the place when you’re drunk, like you said—your mouth just spills it all out.

“You know what, this is all very brave of you. Being friends with your ex, I can’t imagine.”

“Why? Can’t you?” Staring blankly and holding onto your mug, eyes blinking fast in this question.

“I’m not sure. I’ve never really done it before, I’ll let you know if I can.”

You’ve been staring hard on your mug contemplating on his question. He gently touched your hand that’s been holding your mug and said, “Just drink your water.” And pulled it away as soon as you looked like your soul has comeback to earth.

“Can’t I…?” You repeated the question again, and this time out loud.

Hands underneath your chin and resting your elbows on the table. Yoongi is just staring at you, hands in his cheeks—thumb underneath his chin, not even sure if you can even see him. “I hate your question.” You looked at his eyes this time and said that and he just smiled and when he did, you narrowed your eyes. “I hate your smile too.” And this time, he gave you an even bigger one, those gummy smile. And whenever he smiles at you like that you just can’t help but grin in return.

You chugged the water and showed him your empty mug.

He got up and put the rest of the unopened bottle of wine back to the fridge just to prevent you from opening yet another. With his back facing you, arranging the couple of bottles left unto your fridge.

“Yoongi-ah, I know and I love how we respect each other’s privacy and all but just in case things get too heavy. I’m always here, you know. I mean, I’m really glad about today.”

He looked back at you, hands underneath your chin again and eyelids looking all heavy.

“Same goes for you, I’m always here…” And he turned his back again, “fixing you some food and light bulbs.”

And that statement made you smile. “Indeed, my friend. Indeed.”

He went back to the table and grabbed your wine glass and emptying it for you.

“So you wanna talk about how nothing went right today?” You sighed with your eyes closed.

“Maybe next time, my friend.” You stood up from the dinning table, offered to clean the rest of the dishes but Yoongi insisted that he’d do it instead. So you just nodded and slowly creep back into your room.

“Thanks for today, Yoongi.” You thanked him before you go, peeking behind the wall near the counter and he just smiled at you, cleaning gloves on and started washing the dishes.

Minutes later, you shouted from inside of your room.

“Hey i’ll be in the bathroom for a while. Hope you’re already done using it.”

Yoongi didnt answer. He’s already in his room.

You sat in the tub filled with water that is too hot for anyone else but not for you. Head all dizzy and pounding. It’s 2 am and nothing is more comforting than the silence of it all. Alcohol keeps you awake, more than coffee ever does. The dizziness, the feeling that is drilling in your head, makes it hard for you to sleep. Despite the fact that you always drink. You always drink on an empty stomach though, just so you’re sure you would pass out and not have a hard time sleeping.

But tonight you can’t say no—Yoongi made dinner and as much as you hate how you’re having a hard time now you don’t regret it. The question he said, still lingers. And you know your answer to this, you can’t.

Along with the headache, comes the memories you rarely remember—there are just some special days where somehow the guilt and regret still comes to you in waves, together with conversations you long to let go.

“You can’t be serious?” Joon said, voice cracking with hand on his hair in frustration. “But I am.” With a straight face you answered, “I can’t marry you, Joon. I don’t want to have kids and I know how much you want to have children.” Feeling the desperation in his face and actions, he held your hands close and hugged you. “I love you, I want to marry you. We don’t need to have kids immediately, that’s years away. We don’t have to even worry about that now.” It hurts you to seem him this way, yes both of you may be young—maybe you will change your mind but there’s no guarantee to it. You held onto his shoulder to see his face, tears kept rolling down his face and you keep wiping it off one by one. You’ve thought about this even just a year into the relationship, with all the dad jokes and tiny little shoes he kept in his room. He’s going to be a wonderful dad you thought—maybe not just to your kids because you don’t want one.

The most wonderful man in the world just asked you to marry him a few minutes ago, and now he’s crying on your shoulder in defeat. While you can’t even bring yourself to cry, everything about this just made you numb. You just know you’re doing the right thing. Keeping him by your side with a promise of a future you can’t guarantee is not what love is. You loved him—even much so that you could ever admit.

With the knock on the door, you went back to reality.

“Hey you in there?” His voice echoing at 2 in the morning.

“Yeah, I’ll be here still for a while. You need it?”

“No, it’s okay.” He quietly said, as you heard his footsteps getting farther away.

moodboard sr: x

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

Only Growing | Five Hargreeves

✦ pairing — Five Hargreeves x Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 2.6k

✦ summary — Five and you get a second chance. Like everything with The Hargreeves, it’s more complicated than it sounds.

✦ warnings — angst, spoilers for season 2 (the story doesn’t follow canon, though), mentions of violence, mentions of food, language, fluff.

✦ a/n — the brief text in italics is a flashback.

❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎

You were used to silence. Diego had never been one for staying home doing nothing. Sometimes he would leave you a note that said not to wait up for him if you were lucky, but you never had the pleasure to get home from work and have your boyfriend there.

Ex-boyfriend now. He had found himself someone else. Years had passed for him when a mere day went by for you.

You had been a fool, thinking things would finally go your way. Ever since Five disappeared, life proved you time after time how unlucky you were.

Nonetheless, you understood. No one had understood Diego better than you had, it was the reason why your relationship had lasted.

Diego hadn’t been a dick about it. He offered to give you time, reminded you to get closer to your best friend, and apologized for something that hadn’t been his fault.

He had said, “Talk to Five.” If only it was that easy. Five hadn’t visited you yet — according to Luther, who had driven Diego to your place so he could pack his things and introduce you to his new girlfriend, Five needed to take care of something first.

It was no secret that you would do anything for Five. Certainly not to Diego who many times had reproached you for missing his brother so intensely to the point of neglecting him.

You loved Diego, how couldn’t you? But you had never been capable of hiding how much you missed Five. Just like you weren’t capable of hiding how much seeing him with someone else hurt.

He had promised he would never leave and days later you had watched him carry his belongings to the doorstep with another woman by his side.

Now you were forced to fall asleep in a silent bedroom at a house too big for one person.

Woken up by incessant knocking on the front door, you grumpily walked down the stairs. Every single one of your acquaintances knew your schedule was hectic so you weren’t expecting any of them.

Swinging the door open, you were greeted by a tall man. His green eyes shined as he buried his hands in his pockets.

You didn’t understand why he was expecting you to speak first, or how a man could have such soft-looking hair.

Shaking the latter thought off, you asked, “Can I help you?”

“It’s me.”

“That... doesn’t answer my question.”

He sighed loudly. “I’m Five, you idiot.”

You crossed your arms. “Oh, yeah? And I’m a Nobel Laureate.”

“Ask me something only Five Hargreeves would know.”

You glanced past his shoulder, making sure there was no one nearby. “What’s the last thing I told you before you left back when we were kids?”

He lowered his head. “That you needed me.”

”You can’t attempt traveling through time! What if something goes wrong?”

Five shook his head. “I’m not stupid. Everything will go smoothly.”

You weren’t stupid either. Many things could go wrong. He could get lost, he could ruin the timeline, he could exhaust himself to the point of death...

“Five, please. I need you here with me,” your voice broke.

You couldn’t decipher the look he gave you. A blue flash of light blurred with your tears.

You dropped your arms and stepped to the side to let him in. “Why didn’t you use your powers?”

“I didn’t want to startle you,” he yelled from the kitchen.

You followed the sound of his voice. Some things never changed, it seemed. He was hovering over the coffee machine, tapping his thumbs against the counter.

“Since when do you care about scaring me?”

“Since my stupid brother taught you self-defense.”

You rolled your eyes, tugging the fridge door open. “You’re a trained assassin.”

“We both know I would never hurt you.”

Well, thank God. You would’ve been dead decades ago if he was willing to hurt you more than he had already.

Changing the subject, you poured yourself a glass of orange juice. “How come you look like that now?”

“Should I be offended?”

“You looked like a teen a few days ago,” you defended yourself.

Five’s semblance softened. “I guess one of the things we did to mess the timeline worked in my favor.”

“You ruined the timeline?”

“A little bit.”

Sensing he didn’t want to talk about it, you dropped bread into the toaster.

He offered you some coffee, but you declined. The last thing you needed was getting more anxious than you were already.

Five tilted his head. With a sigh, he put the cup down and opened his arms. “Come here.”

He didn’t have to tell you twice. His willingness to give affection didn’t come easy, and your eagerness for his attention had always been constant.

Arms around him, you rested your head on his shoulder. Five rubbed your tense back with one hand, pulling you closer with his other arm.

You squeezed him tight, trying your best to keep your tears in.

❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎

Five had always persuaded you to do anything he wanted. Never something that would put you in danger although on some occasions you had gotten hurt by accident, but always things you wouldn’t do if it weren’t for him.

Attending one of his family reunions was one of those things. But he had asked nicely.

He had said it would be something casual, you wouldn’t have to stay for too long. He just needed someone beside him to ground him in case a fight broke out.

Once you were ready, he dropped the book he had been reading onto your coffee table and offered his hand.

You took it without even thinking about it, giving him a squeeze to assure him you were ready to teleport.

Your stomach flipped at first. An underlying tickling appeared in the lower area of your abdomen. His powers had always had that effect on you, and you had missed the sensation deeply.

Not having visited The Academy since Five disappeared, you found yourself in awe of how little it had changed.

“How are you not throwing up right now?”Allison asked, pulling you into a hug.

“She had enough training as a kid,” Five answered for you, carefully dropping your hand.

Klaus giggled. “I forgot you two sneaked everywhere together.”

As you parted from Allison, you shared a look with Five. You had always thought it was a well-kept secret that every time you felt sad or Five had a nightmare he would sneak into your room or sneak you into his.

You hugged Klaus next, then Vanya. Luther was in the kitchen, Diego and Lila in the living room.

Greeting your ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend as warmly as you were capable of, you took a seat next to Five.

Seeing Diego with Lila didn’t hurt. Not like you imagined it would. His demeanor had changed from what you could tell, he looked calmer, happier. You were glad, the people you loved and their happiness were important for your own wellbeing.

In fact, you were more than glad. The Hargreeves siblings seemed to have gotten closer, their bickering was only that now — Luther was more open, warmer; Vanya participated in conversations, finally smiling around her family.

Five looked comfortable, too. Laughing loudly at Klaus’ antics. His eyes shined as he turned to look at you, laughter still intact. You couldn’t help but join him.

“Five,” Allison called for her brother, “my car broke. Can you take me home?”

He searched for your acknowledgment and held your gaze, twisting his mouth upward. You blinked slowly, assuring him you could handle it. Five gave you a sharp nod, standing up in a quick motion.

Diego refilled your glass. “You’ve got a shot with Five now...”

You let out a shaky breath. “Don’t tell him anything, please.”

“He deserves to know.”

You knew he did. His shock when he found out you were daring Diego had kept you up for days.

Five’s arrival saved you from saying anything else. He fixed his hair as he sat back down next to you, glaring at Diego who had still been staring at you, waiting for a good explanation.

You didn’t have one.

❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎

The TV in the living room was on when you got home from work. Laying on the couch, hands tucked under his cheek, you found Five fast asleep.

He hadn’t told you he would visit. He must’ve dropped by impromptu.

Covering him with the blanket he had tossed to the side, you muted the TV. He would probably need the light when he woke up to go to the bathroom.

He grabbed your hand before you could leave. Wincing, you whispered, “Go back to sleep.”

“How was work?” He sleepily asked.

“We can talk in the morning. Get some rest.”

“Did you have a good day?”

Desperate for Five to get a few more hours of sleep, you nodded.

He didn’t let go of your hand, curling up on the couch. Whispering his name, you shook your wrist so he’d loosen his grip.

He mumbled something, but you didn’t understand what it was. His face was red, eyes glued to the ceiling.

“Mmmh?” you prompted him to say it again.

“I needed you with me too.”

You kneeled on the rug, resting your chin on the arm of the couch. “You could’ve taken me with you.”

Scoffing, Five shifted on the couch to sit up. He let go of your hand, burying his fingers in his hair, tossing the dark locks to one side as he gripped them.

“You don’t know what you’re saying. You weren’t there. You didn’t watch everyone you love lying dead at your feet.”

“I had to lose you,” you reminded him, “and my parents in the span of two years.”

He whistled by mistake as he inhaled.

You didn’t let him speak. “I lived through hell staying with my uncle, you know how much he hated me. And I hated college but it was better than staying with people who blamed me for my mother’s death.”

“And then you chose Diego.”

“What does Diego have to do with anything?!”

“The last thing you said to me was that you needed me, but you still moved on.”

Calling it moving on was an insult. You had been willing to put your life on hold in case he came back, to be alone until he miraculously appeared one day and filled the void.

That was what lead you to Diego. Both of you were aware of the reason why you attracted the other — it hurt at times, not having your partner all for yourself, but you couldn’t complain when you weren’t completely his.

“You think I didn’t wait for you?” You chuckled bitterly. “Five, I swore we would get married and have a perfect life. But everything is easier at thirteen.”

He mocked you, “Oh, and you thought Diego would give you the perfect life you wanted?”

“No!” you yelled. “I just... I woke up, I guess.”

Five turned to his side to look at you. “Fall asleep again.”

“Five...”

“Do it. I’ll make it right this time.”

Your voice betrayed you by breaking. “What if you have to disappear again?”

He squeezed his eyes closed. For once, Five didn’t have an answer to your inquires, not even a sarcastic one.

You sniffed.

“Hey, hey,” he cooed, placing his hands on top of yours. “Don’t cry, please. I hate seeing you like this.

You twisted your hands so your palms would be against his, fingers finding their way between his nimble ones. “I don’t want to go through all of that again.”

“I’ll take you with me if I have to,” he promised, dropping his head on top of yours.

He just wanted to stay there, inhaling the scent of your perfume. Five felt safe with your hands in his, actually safe — he could close his eyes and not worry about horrendous flashbacks,

You were there with him, not dead on the ground next to his siblings. He caressed the back of your hand with his thumb, drawing circles on your soft skin.

“My knees hurt.”

Laughing softly, he moved away from you so you could stand up.

Five followed you with his eyes, twisting his body as you sat down beside him, rubbing your palms against your knees.

You gazed at him with watery eyes, bringing your hand to his face, tracing his jaw. God, you used to annoy him when you were kids, telling him he looked ugly every time he clenched it.

Smiling at the memory, you felt the movement of his muscles as he mirrored your smile.

“You still have dimples,” you told him, removing your hand so you could look at him properly.

He hurried to take your hand again, palm against the back of yours as he gripped it.

“Aren’t you tired?”

“You’re avoiding giving me an answer,” he observed, grip tightening around your hand.

You shook your head effusively. “It’s no secret I would follow you to the end of the world. Literally.”

“But this...” Five breathed out, “this is more than that, (Name).”

“You can’t even say it,” you mused, “and here I am, willing to give you everything I have and more.”

With his free hand, he cupped your cheek. “Don’t be stupid. It’s mutual, and I have no problem with expressing the way I feel.”

“What did you mean by ‘more than that’, then? Do you fear for my safety?”

“No.” He quickly rectified, “I do worry about your safety, but I’m capable of keeping both of us safe. I meant... things beyond being in danger and getting worried. That’s easy for us.”

You nodded against his warm palm, sensing he had more to say.

”I want normal things for us, good things. I don’t know how well I will do. I need you to know that, to be okay with me.”

It was like seeing that thirteen-year-old again, desperate to have the approval of his authority figure.

“I’ve been in love with you since I was ten,” you confessed through a breathy laugh. “You were insufferable, but I didn’t care. I’ve always been okay with you, even when you were an asshole to me.”

“I was trying to get your attention.”

“I know that now.”

His eyes, full of emotion, focused on yours. You didn’t care if he wanted to make sure you weren’t lying, taking offense would’ve been dismissing everything he had gone through.

His eyes fell onto your lips. “Should I...”

“If you want.”

Bumping your nose as he dove in, he caught your lips between his in a clumsy kiss. You held the back of his head with your free hand, pulling him closer.

He let you guide him, getting more confident as he went on. You tilted your head to the other side, sliding your hand off his to place it on his shoulder.

Before pulling away, you gave him short kisses. Feeling him smile against your lips had to be the best thing in the world.

Suddenly, he remembered, “Hey, did you eat anything for dinner?”

“No...” Before he could chastise you or complain, you asked, “Do you want a sandwich?”

“Sure.”

You gave him a final short kiss. “Pick a movie, yeah? Whichever you want.”

“God, I love you.”

Five’s love for you had only grown throughout all those years. Thinking about the time you had spent together as kids kept him going; it had been a bittersweet coping mechanism.

Nothing compared to his love for you growing with you there.

He didn’t know how he had survived without the swelling in his chest upon watching you make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich from across the room while he waited for you to press play on the first movie he found.

He only knew he would never let go of it.

[sohosaturn]

warning: this post is long af cause i have a lot to say :)

okay so i finished it yesterday and i have MANY thoughts, but my biggest gripe with season 2 (season 1 was fine in most departments for me tbh even with the weird timeline change) is that they completely assassinated SO MANY CHARACTERS, like straight up destroyed them for absolutely no reason.

(spoiler warning, i’m fashionably late to this but jic im not the only one, spoiler warning for everything)

as much as i hate the “female mc loses her powers by the end to be with the love interest” trope, it made sense in the books cause the whole message is that greed is a dangerous thing, and her giving normal people her powers to break the fold just hits so much harder. in the show, it’s as if she’s made the same mistake kirigan did but for mal instead of power, and i HATE that. i wonder if they’re planning to stretch out her and mal’s ending, but who the hell knows. but by far the worst character assassinations were the crows.

why would they do this? the only character thet kinda did justice was jesper but they still made some changes to his relationship with wylan that just made it shallow. i get that he’s a hoe in the show, and that’s funny to me, but we never saw him and wylan fliriting and teasing, it was just straight up they had a one night stand and they’re already together. that is so boring. also wylan’s introduction is so weird to me, i feel like he should’ve just been mildly introduced at the end, like how he and jesper met in the books and just leave for the ice court heist. wylan already being with the crows, already dating jesper, just doesn’t hit as hard as it does in the books. and they already put the mini conflict between him and jesper about the fact that he can’t read, i feel like that should’ve just not been touched until the ice court heist (if we ever get it lmao). also jesper’s reasoning as to why he thinks it’s a curse is just told to us, and not shown like in the book when his father still thinks his power is a curse, and imo that sucked. they should’ve had him contemplate and have a little crisis about how he feels about his power, like this 400 year old saint and his man says it’s a gift but his own loss and what his father’s told him says otherwise. don’t just have him change his mind like a switch flipped lmao.

i know books are completely different medium but this could’ve been avoided, and honestly most of the really heartfelt and nuanced relationships within the crows are just shallow in the show and it pisses me the FUCK off.

they did kaz and inej SO dirty. how’d they manage to make their relationship SHALLOW? how do you do that? HOW??? the line where inej tells kaz she’ll have without armor or not have him at all is completely ruined in the show !!! it just makes it seem like she’s pressuring him to be able to touch her without having a panic attack, and out of all characters, inej would NEVER say that. i feel like her hallucination when they’re all poisoned and dying shouldn’t have been like her hoping kaz would open up, they should’ve explored her trauma instead. i understand this is dated tv-14 and they don’t want to have graphic scenes, but they don’t have to do that to get the point across. they can just show her crying in her room in the menagerie, maybe venting to one of the girls girls or praying that her saints save her, they can just imply her trauma like they did with genya’a character (who’s also somewhat assassinated in the show imo) THAT would’ve been better. while inej’s biggest fear is that she won’t be useful to kaz, so he’ll abandon her, that probably wouldn’t have worked because there’s extra context during and after the ice court heist that adds to that, especially when she says “he’ll never trade if you break me” so i get why they didn’t do that, but they didn’t have to do what they did in the show. inej is just done the dirtiest i think, especially in the end! the way she finds out she wants to hunt slavers and have her own ship is done so much better in the book and how kaz does possibly the most heartfelt, romantic, beautiful thing of all time to get her to live out that purpose and see her family again, that concludes their relationship and their arcs SO beautifully, just for the show to put her on sturmhond’s ship. it’s not even her ship, or her crew!!!! and we just never revisit her missing brother, ever. how are they gonna take her character’s current ending (cause i believe there’s a third six of crows book coming out? idk) without all the other experiences and plot points that get her there, her character arc in the show is a half-baked cake! the basic plot points of her character are baked on the outside, but the deeper more developed plot points are just raw egg. inej just deserved better. also if they make kaz and inej’s relationship into a love triangle with tolya, im gonna jump off a bridge.

kaz was done the most justice, but they took like 65% of crooked kindom and used it in the most anticlimatic ways possible. all the moments from crooked kingdom that they used in the show lacked the proper context, so it was just super fast paced and not developed at all. kaz, a 17 year old kid, tears down TWO rich, powerful men, one of which he’s been planning for revenge against him since he was “reborn.” in the show, his vengeance is directly taken from the book, but it doesn’t hit hard like at all. all the smart things he does in crooked kingdom (the plague, the bluffing he does with pekka’s son, etc.) are followed by his mistakes caused by his clouded judgement that puts his friends in danger, and the show just uses them all willy nilly and i just felt so disappointed by it. the fight in the slat where he gets the dregs back on his side i just taken from the book and done in a more boring and out of place way, and i haaaaaated it.

im not even gonna get too deep into nina and matthias, that shit was so wack it’s insane, it was fast paced and them slowed the hell down. all i’ll say is that nina should NOT love him yet, she feels guilty for putting someone who trusted in jail, yes, but she’s already in love with matthias. how. bro still thinks grisha are just evil witches, it takes like most of six of crows for him to realize that not all of them are evil and that he loves nina, especially after she almost DIES for him and the rest of the crows, and it takes all that for nina to realize that the hate fjerdans feel is ingrained into them and they could change their minds. why should she feel more than just guilt when half of that stuff hasn’t happened yet? idk, they have the chance to be done well in the show, but it’ll definitely be very weird.

honestly the main issue is that they used a lot of the major plot points and events from crooked kingdom, just without the right context, instead made some shit up, and did it all in like 2 episodes when it took 500 pages in the books. that’s a lot of pages. fitting 500 pages worth of story and events into two episodes is bound to not end well?

is this how game of thrones fans felt with season 8? cause i feel so sad that these amazing characters were so badly butchered.

ofc im just reiterating other people’s complaints bc i agree with them but im still sad and disappointed. this post is long enough, i hope we get a season 3 or like a six of crows spin off or something just to at least find a somewhat satisfactory conclusion but until then im pretending the show was just mediocre fanfiction made by someone who loves shadow and bone and feels iffy about six of crows lmao. i got the king of scars duo today, so i hope it’s good (im sure it is, i need like a mind cleanse from all this lmao) and maybe i’ll post about it idk, but thanks for reading up to this if you did, if you didn’t that’s fine lmao i get it !!

im watching shadow and bone after reading the trilogy and six of crows duo and i have never been more confused in my life lmao

[unpopularly-opinionated]

An odd amount of people are praising the epilogue to the Season of the Splicer in Destiny 2 and I’m sitting here like: “Did y’all play a different epilogue from me, cause honestly this was kind of a big letdown.”

Like sure the cutscene was neat I guess, always happy to see a cutscene, but there wasn’t really anything to it? It was yet another generic Override mission just in a new map, and when it was over we talk to a few people and then that’s it. At least in the last season, Season of the Chosen, the finale to the season had us essentially doing a strike mission to hunt down the traitors that tried to assassinate Zavala, which was different from the standard Battlegrounds missions introduced in that season. In this season we had those Vex Network levels that I feel like they should’ve at least made another one for this epilogue or something. It wouldn’t have made a whole lot of sense to go into the Vex Network anymore since we’d (apparently) defeated Quria, but it didn’t make any sense to do another Override mission yet we still did that so clearly they weren’t thinking about what made sense. I just think last season was better overall.

The weirdest part to me too is that you don’t even talk to Mithrax? Like he was such a pivotal role in this entire season and you establish such a personal relationship with him, so it’s really weird that not once in the epilogue are you tasked with talking to him, before or after. My guess is that they thought talking to Saint and Ikora was too much, but arguably I think it would’ve made more sense to skip Saint altogether and have us talk to Mithrax and Ikora. I get that they wanted to really hit home the fact that Saint is completely pro-Elliskni now but I feel like that message was abundantly clear to anyone who’s played up to this point, it could’ve been skipped.

Also I’m kind of baffled by the decision to have all of the Factions just get up and leave the City? That seems really fucking weird. The only culpable faction was Future War Cult, and even Ikora says that not all of them were culpable, but it makes even less sense that the others would leave too. This felt like a weird wrap up moment where Bungie decided that they have no more need for the Factions in the overall narrative anymore so they’re just gone now.

And of course the Osiris bit we’d all been expecting since the leaked Lore Book happened where he just dips in the middle of battle and leaves the City. This too was handled incredibly poorly IMO. I mean I understand that no one but us canonically has access to the Lore Books, but even without those, Osiris has been acting sus all year, not just this season, and yet no one suspects a fucking thing is going on with him? He’s even fucking named as the cause of this final battle and yet Ikora waves this fact away like it wasn’t actually his fault. It’s just fucking weird. I get that they’re saving him, probably for Witch Queen, but I think it would’ve been better had it ended with the Vanguard officially putting Osiris on notice or something. Officially declare him a wanted criminal for the crimes of aiding Laksmhi in letting the Vex into the City. You can still have Ikora act all upset by it, hell you could even have her disagree with that decision. Say it was all Zavala’s idea and that she thinks he’s jumping the gun or w/e. I don’t know, I just thought that whole bit was handled poorly.

Anyways, I’m probably going to end this season on 96, which sucks but I really don’t feel like touching it anymore. I logged in just to do the epilogue and then logged back out. I hope next season is better. I’m crossing my fingers, but not holding my breath that the rumours are true and it’s a whole season related to the 15th Wish in the Dreaming City. I feel like that would perfectly lead into the Witch Queen expansion whenever that comes out early next year.

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts: 5x03-- And the court had a clerk...

Hello again! It’s nice to have this show back. This episode was a bit less of a standout than the previous two, but I’m still happy with the overall direction for this season. More under the cut (or here, because tumblr sucks). 

When Robert King tweeted the episode title, I asked him if all the titles this season were adding up to one long sentence/story, hoping he’d confirm it and give a little more information. He did! He said it’s “in the Farmer in the Dell mode” and while I think I get what he’s saying, I’m very curious to see how it plays out. Haven’t been able to track down 5x04′s title yet, but the promo is out. (As of this morning! It’s interesting they’re not putting them after the episode this year; I kind of like it.) 

Kurt’s job is up in the air given the new administration. I think this scene exists mostly just to remind us where Kurt works and the stakes.

What month is this supposed to be in? The transition seems recent but no one is wearing masks.  

Kurt spots a poster asking for help ID’ing people at the Capitol on January 6th. He thinks he recognizes someone...

And now we’re in case of the week land. This case is about a small business owner whose business went under after someone created fake news articles accusing him of pedophilia.  

I think the whole point of this (kind of long) scene is to show that this case is a pretty small deal. Low stakes, inexperienced opposing lawyer. (Not even sure why Liz would be arguing this in court, but whatever.)

Tbh I thought this was going to wind up in 9 ¾ court.

Now that we have junior level characters, we get scenes showing that there are, in fact, people at RBL who are mid-level. Liz asks an associate to work on something, he asks another associate to work on it, she delegates to other associates, and they delegate to Marissa and Carmen. This work seems terrible.  

It’s so funny to me how this is probably more realistic than most of the lawyering on the show and yet it only shows up selectively. We only see the hierarchy here to make it clear that Marissa and Carmen are at the bottom.  

David Lee interrupts and asks for Carmen. He’s very rude to her. Interestingly, she’s hesitant to leave her grunt work and follow David, even though she must know he outranks the associate who gave her the grunt work.

“Why am I supposed to know you?” David asks her as they walk through the halls. “I don’t know if you are,” Carmen responds. “Why does Benjamin Dafoe know you?” he asks. She doesn’t know who he is.  

“Who are you?” Dafoe asks when Carmen enters. She states her name, again. “Why are you important?” he asks. “I don’t think that I am,” Carmen responds.  

Then Dafoe says his top client, and it’s a name that the characters all know. I’m glad this scene is free of any “he’s the white OJ” expository lines (that’s from Sweeney’s introduction) -- it’s clear from the reactions and the discussion of police and rape that the top client is a bad guy, probably a rapist. The rapist wants Carmen to represent him.

Putting 2 and 2 together, Carmen asks if the rapist knows Rivi. He’s not, but he’s at the same prison. As soon as Carmen says she’s representing Rivi, David Lee switches gears, understanding the situation and trying to sign the new business. He’s so shameless!  

Marissa sorts ALL the papers. There are a LOT of papers. I’m swamped. Look at all this paper.

She catches the associate who assigned her the task leaving for the night just as she finishes up, and cheerfully notes she’s finished the task. Then the associate mentions this was only half of the bills. Marissa does not like that. Since her goal in wanting to be a lawyer is mostly just to give her something exciting to do and earn respect... this hierarchy thing is not going so well.

Marissa decides that after her rough day, she’s going to stop by Wackner’s court. He’s in the middle of a case about Emily in Paris fanfiction and he’s very happy to see Marissa.  

Wackner’s night court has a program—it notes the sponsor is Copy Co-op (I thought it was Copy Coop?) and the paper products were also provided by them. And “there will be regular intermissions at the discretion of Judge Wackner.” It’s very theatrical.  

Wackner takes a recess and calls Marissa to his “chambers.” He asks for her thoughts on the case. “All they want is attention and to feel like they’ve won,” Marissa notes. Wackner’s on the same wave length and compares it to the Scarecrow’s diploma at the end of The Wizard of Oz. So, he makes copyright certificates and some minor modifications to each of the fanfic books. They say “I respect you and I love you” and that’s that.

Wackner catches Marissa before she leaves and asks her to be his law clerk—part time or full time, 10% of all the legal filings and unlimited use of copy machines. She is hesitant because she “doesn’t even know what this is.”

Wackner says his court is “the future.” Marissa turns him down; notes she wants to pass the bar. “You know why all these people are here? ‘Cause the courts and the lawyers and the appeals have made justice... unattainable. Out of reach. To anyone who doesn’t have a shitload of money to wait it out. That’s why Exxon beats out Mr. Nobody. Read Kafka’s Before the Law.”  

I just read it, and you should too! It literally is a page, but tl;dr, there’s a man who wants to get to the law and instead he spends his whole life trying to win over the first of many gatekeepers on the path to the law. He never gets through the gate.  

“Justice is only just if it’s available to everyone,” Wackner says. Marissa thinks about that.

As I said last week, it’s smart that Wackner makes so much sense. Hearing him say all this, knowing that it’s true... it makes it very easy to get on board with the thought experiment. Of course there would be huge repercussions to this kind of system, but it makes so much sense it’s compelling TV!

Kurt’s showering when Diane gets home, which gives her time to stumble across the WANTED poster and notice that Kurt has drawn facial hair onto one of the pictures. “Who is this?” she asks him. “No one,” he says. “Well, you drew in a beard and a moustache on him,” Diane notes. Kurt says he was doodling, but Diane calls him out as he is the “exact opposite of a doodler.” Kurt says he thought it was someone he knew, but he’s not sure. Diane pushes him to tell the feds. Kurt reiterates he’s not sure, but it’s someone he went shooting with. “Oh my God, then it’s him,” Diane jumps to (not incorrect) conclusions. Kurt says he didn’t talk that way; he’s a veteran. “Kurt! That’s the profile!” Diane argues. Kurt isn’t convinced and he doesn’t want to be responsible for naming names. He notes he’ll be threatened with indictment for not naming names and then only lawyers will end up benefitting. Diane is not convinced.

I think this is an interesting conflict for Kurt and Diane. I understand why Kurt is hesitant to speak out before he’s sure. And I understand and agree with Diane that it’s important to identify the attackers and prevent anything like that from happening again.

I don’t mean to blame Kurt, exactly, but I feel like all of what happens next could’ve played out differently if Kurt had been just a little clearer with Diane about why he was hesitant to ID the man. Like, the threat of indictment for not naming names sounds like some typical anti-government rambling. Saying you specifically are afraid that this will turn back on you and you need to weigh your options and come up with a plan first would put Diane in a very different mode, in which they’d work together to craft the best strategy. Because this man would’ve been ID’d by someone, sooner or later, and Kurt would’ve needed to be prepared.  

Diane stares at the wanted poster at work and asks Jay to find his identity. He’s on the FBI TEN MOST WANTED? Ten!? Ok!  

Diane shares the extra information she has—the gun range and that he’s a veteran—and Jay gets to work.  

Turns out there’s no money in the case that Liz, a name partner, is working on and Marissa just spent all those hours sorting bills for. I could’ve told you there was no money in that case lol.  

Jay IDs the guy very fast. He’s faster than the feds because they didn’t know where he shot. The range had his license on file, and Jay got ahold of it.

“Well, we don’t pay you enough,” Diane says. “Oh, I know that,” Jay laughs.  

Diane says she’s going to think about calling the feds—it's definitely the same guy.

Marissa notes someone high profile (David Cord, who I presume is a thinly veiled stand-in for David Koch given the name, his role in the plot, and the fact that he is “David Cord of the Cord Brothers”) in the lobby giving a fake name and goes to tell Liz.  

David Cord is performing magic tricks for the receptionists (they don’t recognize him) when Liz and Marissa show up. “I knew your father. I hated your father,” Cord says. “Yes, well, he hated you too,” Liz says. He says he gave a fake name to see what the reception would be like since he’s kinda infamous.  

Liz introduces Marissa as one of the law clinic lawyers. Marissa knows what to say in this situation. Specifically, she knows that it is the exact right moment to name drop her father.  

“Democrats as far as the eye can see,” Cord notes. At that, Liz asks Marissa to get Julius involved.

More good expository work! (No, editor feature of Word, I do NOT want that to say “Better expository work,” that would change my meaning, go away and please stop grading my recap??? I don’t know how I brought this up but it’s telling me my score is 72%, so a C, and it’s driving me crazy. Oh, now I’m a 71%. It had me at like, 50%, because I had written “Wackner” and “Wackner” is not a word. No shit.)  

Anyway, back to the exposition. I like that we don’t get a line like, “Liz! David Cord, the Republican super donor, is here!” We just get to see Liz’s reaction, Cord’s hate of Liz’s father, and the line about democrats. Then it becomes clearer who Cord is.

Just noticed Liz is wearing an Apple Watch.

Liz stands for her meeting with Cord, likely to maintain power. Cord says January 6th changed everything to him and now he’s all about unity and loving America.  

Cord has something to say about Liz’s case, the one that’s not making any money, and he seems to know quite a lot about it. That spooks Liz.  

Then Cord offers her $12 million to continue the case for another six months (all of these months, seemingly, will play out in the couple of days the rest of this episode takes, but, whatever). He just wants them to go after the social media company that distributed the fake news... and Section 230.

Don’t know what that is? Now you do, because there is a Good Fight short! These work so much better when they’re actually needed (explaining concepts, etc.) than when they’re trying to force one into every episode (remember that Downton Abbey one? What... was that?)  

I was talking to @mimeparadox about this short and he pointed out that this short has a VERY clear POV on an issue that actually doesn’t seem to be all that straightforward. If you’re like me and only had a vague sense of what Section 230 was prior to this episode, this short is telling you what to think of it—it isn’t just explaining what it is.

I do tend to agree with the show’s POV on most things, but this is an issue I’d like to read more on. I love how Section 230 was something I hadn’t really read up on prior to this episode and now that it’s been on TGF I realize it’s something that actually, yes, I would’ve been interested in knowing about earlier. Is this because things that are on TGF are interesting to me because they’re on TGF or is it because TGF generally only discusses things that would be interesting to me? Probs a little bit of both.  

Diane asks Jay how to make an anonymous phone call and he hands her a burner phone. She calls the FBI with the rioter’s name. She doesn’t leave her name and then she dumps the phone.  

Credits! Did you catch there’s a Jordan Boatman in the credits? She plays one of the associates who passes down the grunt work to Marissa, and she’s Michael Boatman’s daughter in real life! She’s also been in one other episode, in season 3.  

I never get tired of these credits!  

The RL partners (and some associates who are on the case? I think these are the same ones who delegated the work to Marissa?) debate whether or not they should take Cord’s money. Madeline notes that he’s funded a lot of Republican campaigns; Julius notes that both Republicans and Democrats agree that Section 230 is flawed and this is an opportunity for unity.

Diane notes that the right doesn’t want to stop conspiracy theories from spreading, so is this really that bipartisan? “It would help if the boomers would stop falling for those conspiracy theories and sharing it with their friends,” an associate (I believe this is Michael Boatman’s daughter again) notes. That quiets the room and the partners all glare at her. Yeah, that was a kind of stupid thing to say. First of all, it’s just not appropriate to say to the partners, and it’s also, like, missing the point? If it’s easy for conspiracy theories to spread among boomers, maybe just expecting each member of that generation to suddenly have a millennial’s understanding of the internet is the wrong strategy? Maybe there’s some structural issue here? That maybe, just maybe, this case is actually about?  

The associate also points out that the internet is currently a place where people can speak out about sexual harassment-- “they repeal section 230, and there would be no #MeToo.”

One of the partners says he doesn’t believe that—if they regulate section 230, then newspapers can actually be competitive and there’s still free speech online.  

“We’re not going back to reading newspapers, grandpa,” some associate says. What the actual fuck, dude? Who talks like that to their boss?! It’s so condescending. He’s also wrong! “Newspapers” are not just physical things... reporting by major publications still matters and will continue to matter. Like, is he suggesting that in the future all news will just be random people tweeting things they think are true with no fact checking or curation? Sure, journalism is struggling right now—but I don’t think that’s because there’s a lack of desire for well-reported news.  

I am glad the partners call him out on saying “grandpa” and honestly I’m shocked he isn’t asked to leave the discussion after that rude remark. Unless this young looking dude is a partner too? But I don’t think he is.  

Julius notes that if they’re going to pursue this case, they need money like Cord’s. At that, Liz starts to leave the meeting. “We haven’t decided if we’re taking this Cord money yet,” Madeline protests. “Of course we are,” Liz says and leaves.  

Now that’s more like it! I’m not sure if this is necessarily the best way to handle this, but she’s a) correct, they were always going to take the money because it is $12 million and an issue of interest and b) using her authority. Should Liz be making decisions totally on her own? Maybe not. Does Liz making this decision and then leaving (with everyone accepting that she’s correct) cut through a lot of bullshit and establish Liz as the one in charge? Yup.

Diane says, “Ooh-kay” with a little bit of an eyeroll after Liz exits, but she’s still laying low. I think in a different season Diane might’ve tried to push back.  

Is it me or does Baranski get a lot of material this episode we haven’t seen before? Lots of really good reaction shots/tones in this episode I don’t really think we’ve seen from Diane before. I’m impressed there’s still new stuff after 12 years.

At some point maybe I will actually write the essay I’ve been wanting to write for ages about how TGF is still so relevant despite being in a universe that should be showing its age by now. I wish I could find the first time that I called TGW a period piece set in the present day (I know it would’ve been during season five) because I think that’s the key to TGW/TGF’s enduring success. The shows always feel timely because they try to capture the present moment (which is, of course, always changing) and don’t get stuck in any one moment in time. Further, the fact that the writers are always so tuned in to events and skilled at quickly reacting to what happens in the world makes them VERY good in a pinch, which is (I think) why they’re able to make the most of unexpected situations (Josh leaving TGW, the pandemic).  

Liz and Julius bring a suit against ChumHum to attack 230. Judge Friend is initially skeptical of their argument that 230 is unconstitutional; then she’s intrigued. I am too. This argument about the press is a very interesting one. I obviously have a lot of reading to do on 230, but my take after this episode is pretty much that social media platforms have to be held responsible in some way, but I don’t think it’s feasible or desirable for them to be responsible for every single one of billions of posts. I think there has to be some way to regulate social media giants that would allow everyday people to share things and speak out but would prevent the curated (even by an algorithm) spread of fake news and make social media giants accountable when there are very public bad actors using their platforms. What that regulation would be I have no idea. I just refuse to believe that our options are to give the social media sites full immunity or to regulate the internet so strongly that no one is able to speak freely because all the platforms are worried about lawsuits.  

Over at the VA, people are being fired. When Kurt gets into his office, Madeline Starkey (wait, are there two characters named Madeline in this episode?) is waiting for him. She’s still very quirky and scary.  

Starkey says the guy that Diane reported is now saying Kurt trained him on using assault rifles and buying ammunition in bulk. Kurt notes these were topics covered in a group setting, which Starkey knew—and what she’s really after is the names of the others in the group. (She may already know them, since she knows there were five of them.)

Kurt refuses to name names and just stares at her.  

Case stuff happens! (I liked the last two episodes a lot but it’s much faster for me to just write, “case stuff happens” for some of the scenes.)

Hey, surprise Aaron Tveit! (Not really a surprise; he is in the credits. But still yay!)  

I don’t really know why Liz and Julius are talking about newspapers specifically and not all types of fact-based journalism/press? I feel like their argument is most convincing when it’s about actual newspapers (especially local ones) but still would apply to cable news...

Marissa’s still hard at work sorting papers when the associate comes back in and informs her she can stop; they’ve changed strategies and everything she’s done is now irrelevant. She also says “I forgot to tell you” at the start of that thought, meaning that she neglected to tell Marissa this important information earlier and wasted her time. Marissa is not pleased and so she goes to Wackner’s court, where Wackner now has a deli ticket machine and is wearing super-sized novelty sunglasses. Why not!

He sees Marissa and calls a five-minute recess. In “chambers,” Marissa tells him she’d like to work for him part-time but keep her RL job.  

Wackner needs her help processing more copyright certificates. He’s priced them competitively at $20 and found that a lot of writers want these certificates, even though they have no legal value. (Neither do actual copyrights, Wackner notes. And he notes that if anyone plagiarizes, they can sue in HIS court.)  

“Marissa, I’m building something here. I want you to join me. I want your advice on cases. I want to bounce legal theories off you,” he says. “What are your legal theories?” she asks. “I don’t know. That’s why I need to bounce them,” he says.  

Marissa gives him from noon to 2 and 5-7, which seems awfully ambitious for someone working at a law firm!

“That’s how revolutions are made. Back rooms of copy shops,” he says, accepting her offer.  

Kurt is sulking in the dark when Diane arrives home. He lets her know about Starkey’s visit and she immediately goes into lawyer mode. Notably, this scene does not spend much time on how Starkey found out the rioter’s name. Curious if they’re saving that for later or if Diane and Kurt both know what Diane must have done or if Kurt think’s it’s a coincidence.  

Kurt SET UP A TOUR OF THE CAPITOL for one of the veterans in his shooting group, and that tour was ON JANUARY 6TH! I really do wish he’d told Diane that upfront.  

Maybe the long pause where Kurt refuses to tell Diane which congressperson arranged the tour even after she promises she won’t say is him letting on that he knows that Diane ID’d the guy? Or maybe it’s just Kurt.  

I do not like the dead birds in Starkey’s office, mostly because I do not like thinking about dead birds.

Starkey compares Diane and Kurt to the Conways.  

And now more case stuff happens.  

Julius gets to question a witness for the first time in two years! He’s a little shaky at first but then he does a fantastic job! Yay Julius!

When Diane arrives at the office, reception is filled with around a hundred teddy bears. “What?” she asks. “Build-a-Bears. They were sent to Marissa,” the receptionist explains. “Okay... why?” Diane asks the logical next question. The receptionist does not know.  

“This one’s a Marissa bear,” she says, showing Diane a bear wearing boots and a wig. It does not look much like Marissa and it says “Hug me.”

Diane looks confused and furious at the same time. Her look here is, like, a milder version of the death stare she gives Alicia in Outside the Bubble when she learns about Alicia and Cary’s plan to leave.  

“Why don’t we, meaning you, take all these stuffed animals and put them in the conference room,” Diane instructs the receptionist. She is NOT! HAPPY! The receptionist seemed to be having fun with the bears, but clearly the right answer was to have done something with them and... not to have put them over every surface in reception. Eeek.  

Carmen’s new client, the rapist, arrives at the firm before anyone can hide the bears. “This may not be the firm for you,” his advisor/lawyer (I’m not totally sure what this dude’s job is) warns.  

Madeline notices the rapist and glares at the receptionist. “I know. I’m putting them in the conference room,” the receptionist says, thinking Madeline is upset about the bears. She is not upset about the bears.

Diane finds Marissa, who’s working with Carmen again. She asks Carmen to give them a moment.

“Why are there hundreds of teddy bears in our reception?” Diane asks. Marissa is confused. Diane shows her the Marissa bear. Marissa looks horrified and amused. “That doesn’t even look like me,” Marissa notes, completely missing how pissed off Diane is. I don’t think we have seen Diane be this direct/no-nonsense in ages.  

“That would seem to be beside the point. What is going on, Marissa?” Diane demands. Marissa suspects this is based on some advice she offered to a client who was buying a Build-a-Bear franchise and thinks this is a thank you gift. “What client? You’re not a lawyer! Why do you have clients?” Diane says exasperatedly.  

Marissa gives her a look, and Diane immediately understands that she’s been back to Wackner’s court. “Oh my God, this is about that Copy Coop court?”

“Marissa, no. By participating in that simulacrum of a courtroom, you exposed this firm to malpractice, sanctions, and God knows what,” Diane says. If that were really true, she wouldn’t have sat there and argued. I mean, I don’t know the legality of this all, but I feel like it’s a bigger optics issue than legal issue if Diane and other lawyers are willing to even consider participating?  

“If you wish to continue your employment at this firm, you will never do anything like that again. Do you understand?” Diane says. She will not hear any arguments.  

I love that Marissa is the thing that keeps Wackner coming back. It’s a good plot for her, but structurally, it also allows the show to keep Wackner around without many contrivances. Wackner sees that Marissa would understand what he’s up to, she sees that he shares some of her frustrations with the law, and they both want to work together again. It’s not like suddenly everyone’s talking about Wackner’s court and all the cases somehow end up there or anything.

The receptionist, who is having a truly terrible day, comes into announce that Kurt and Starkey have arrived. “Don’t put them in the conference room!” Diane commands, knowing that the teddy bears will be there. It’s too late, though, because the receptionist (who previously seemed to be fine at her job if bad at recognizing public figures and understanding that partners might not find teddy bears amusing) has already put them in the conference room. I feel bad for her, and don’t think the other things were her fault, but I feel like she could’ve seen this one coming...  

I find the teddy bears HILARIOUS, mostly because the reactions to them are so funny. It’s kind of the same gag as the balloons for Lucca in season two, but I don’t really care, because I’m getting to see Diane Lockhart treat hundreds of Build-a-Bears like they are a real work problem.

Starkey jokes about the bears; Kurt is silent.  

The rioter from the poster is now accusing Kurt of coming up with the STRATEGY for January 6th, which Kurt and Diane both dismiss as bullshit.  

I could do without Starkey’s musical cues.

I can’t tell if Kurt is in trouble here or if she’s just pressing him to name names. Why wouldn’t she just have rioter guy name names if he’s so eager to blame Kurt? I guess maybe if the others were actually there, he might be less likely to name the names of his actual co-conspirators? Or, Starkey might already know the names (surely the shooting range has logs) and be using this to raise the stakes.  

No one (except maybe the partner named Daniel) is happy about the rapist in reception. “Since when are we representing people like Wolfe-Coleman?” Julius asks. Didn’t these people help both Sweeney (though I think Sweeney was in some weird police brutality case and they didn’t actually want to represent him) and Bishop? And Rivi? But they draw the line here? Sure.  

Ah, there we go, an expository line-- “he’s the next Jeffrey Epstein”. Almost made it the whole episode without one of these. I’ll forgive it since it’s so late in the episode lol.  

“Did you approve this, Liz?!” Madeline demands. Liz did not. Daniel wonders if that means Diane approved it. Liz doesn’t think so and calls Diane (who happens to be walking past) in.  

“I know, the teddy bears. I’m working on it,” Diane says when she opens the door. I think the teddy bears are a bigger issue to Diane than to anyone else.  

Diane didn’t approve representing Mr. Rapey either. She’s uncomfortable that a meeting was happening without her; Madeline notes that she is standing there specifically because they wanted to involve her.  

David Lee pops up out of nowhere with the answer: one of the new associates (not Marissa, “the real one”) pulled in Mr. Rapey. Are there only two associates now even though orientation was for a big group?  

Firth is gone, btw. David Lee is the new Mr. Firth. I have no idea why David would want to be STR Laurie’s guy for managing RL but... sure, whatever? David Lee is an effective antagonist, especially in small doses, and this allows the writers to keep him around and continue the STR Laurie plot without a key guest star. If STR Laurie is still a thing, and it seems like it is going to be a thing for a while, then having David Lee take on this role makes sense for plot. Otherwise they’re going to have to shoehorn him in to every plot somehow. At least now he has a reason to be around.  

Liz and Diane take a walk to chat. Diane is worried about having David as their boss. Liz says she has a worse worry—David Lee knew exactly when to come downstairs with information, suggesting he know what they were talking about. “Would he do something like that?” Liz asks when Diane wonders if there’s a bug. “Oh, yeah,” Diane replies. Hah, yeah. He absolutely would.  

They decide to have Jay search for bugs and Liz is frustrated with how much time they have to spend on things other than lawyering. Yup.

“What is going on with all the teddy bears in the conference room?” Liz asks as they head back to the office. “It’s a long story,” Diane sighs. I also love that the teddy bears link the various pieces of the episode together—it feels like all of these threads are happening simultaneously because of that constant.  

I don’t get RL’s approach to clients. Bishop and Rivi are ok, Wolfe-Colman is not (except that actually he is fine). Cord is okay too. Do they draw the line anywhere? I know Liz was right when she said that OF COURSE they were taking the money, but is there really nothing that differentiates that situation from this one? I feel like there should be.

Marissa goes back to see Wackner. Since someone refuses to say “I respect and I love you,” Wackner reverses his ruling. This is part of the “Bad Loser Law of last Wednesday,” so the rules of Wackner’s court are clearly a work in progress.

Marissa explains she can’t be the law clerk because of Diane. She tries to connect him with a real lawyer, still not understanding exactly what Wackner’s after. “You know just enough not to crush what I’m doing here,” Wackner explains. “A real lawyer will look for reasons why not. I need someone to look for reasons why.”  

Case stuff happens. I cannot read Cord’s handwriting. Liz and Julius lose the case because Judge Friend says what’s happening isn’t fair, but it is constitutional. (So here we have, at least in the show’s POV, a good and attentive judge who can’t make decisions that make sense because she’s bound by a document written before anyone had ever dreamed of the internet.)  

Cord is waiting for Liz in her office. He’s prepared to bankroll an appeal. Did they blow thorough that $12 million already? Impressive; it’s been like a day.  

Cord says they are definitely the firm he wants. Interesting.

Now Liz wants a meeting with Carmen, so it’s Marissa who leaves the room. This scene seems like it was meant to be a different day?  

Liz wants to talk about Mr. Rapey. Carmen is, yet again, chill about the case. “Carmen, is there anyone that you would not represent?” Liz asks. Funny, Liz, I could ask you the same. Being hesitant about it is not changing the fact that you’re representing bad people. Carmen’s just cutting the bullshit.  

“I don’t understand. Is there someone you don’t want me to represent?” I love how Carmen’s incredibly polite responses always seem very pointed. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Carmen’s reply, and yet it puts Liz in a place where she can’t dance around what she’s trying to say.  

“I’m just trying to get a sense of who you are,” Liz explains.  

Then Liz decides she’s going to help on the Craig Wolfe-Colman (Mr. Rapey) case, and they will keep talking about her career path. Liz, this does not seem like the right solution! You're worried about your associate representing bad people so you’re like, I know, what if I ALSO represented bad people? If your goal is to convince Carmen not to take clients like this, you’re kinda shooting yourself in the foot!  

“Are you worried about me?” Carmen says, again turning things on Liz. “I don’t know what I am about you,” Liz replies. Me either. Well, I know I'm intrigued, but beyond that, no clue!

All the bears have ended up in Diane’s office, where Wackner is waiting. He jokes about how his court is always seen as informal, yet this real fancy law office is covered in Build-a-Bears. Then he says he wants to hire RL—he's willing to pay. He wants consultation from Marissa (“consultation on legal issues”) and he’s prepared to spend a lot. And, if there’s one thing we know, it’s that they’re always going to take the money. So, they do.

I love that Wackner’s goal is to “perfect my little clubhouse of the law.” It’s a fun plot, and it also allows for the rules in his court to change (I’m sure we’re going to be treated to/subjected to a lot of whimsical gags around changing and ridiculous rules). It's also a good way to work through the thought experiment over the course of the season. It’s not like Wackner already has a system set up and it’s perfect—I'm sure we’re going to see his system run into issues and explore that more, too.  

Wackner monologues a bit here about why he’s running fake court, and he lets us know he’s going to monologue. Basically he thinks people no longer want to help people and are only motivated by their own self interest. He notes that no one talks about the Peace Corps anymore and asks the last time Diane heard anyone say those words. I’m sure I’ve heard a reference more recently but my mind went RIGHT to season one Cary Agos saying “Peace Corps. Belize,” as some kind of smarmy pickup line. This is likely not where my mind was supposed to go.

Wackner wants “A new Peace Corps. For America.” Diane’s sympathetic to that and agrees to take him on as a client.  

Wackner asks if he can take a bear. Diane instructs him to take two.  

Aaaand Wackner and Cord end up on the elevator together. Wackner hands Cord a bear, the elevator doors close, and the episode ends. Since last episode ended with Marissa and Carmen in the elevator together, I’m hoping this will be how every episode this season ends. I think using the Kings’ favorite liminal space to transition between episodes is kind of fun, and it fits with the ellipses at the end of every episode title.  

Speaking of... did you see today’s elevator-themed episode of Evil? It was written by the Kings. Those two have been obsessed with elevators for at least a decade.  

[just-anka]

I realised I haven’t really regularly posted here since like... I don’t even know, September? It’s been a while, anyway. A lot happened, and I now feel like actually writing a post for the first time in a while, so here goes haha. The first bullet point is entirely work waffle so feel free to skip. Apologies in advance for the fact that this post will probably reach novel length by the time I’m done. 

• I took a week off in late September before Ben started his new job so we could go to the mountains for a bit, and it was a much-needed little break from work. And pretty much right after I got back, work got completely mental - nothing bad as such, just one thing after the other, loads of deadlines, so many important things. First I was finishing up data for a paper (first authorship was being debated which is partially why I threw myself into the job so much, but it looks like it’ll be the PhD student before me’s now, which is how it should be tbh, it’s much more hers than it is mine), then the date for my first committee meeting was set and I suddenly had only two weeks to prepare (did not think it was going to be that short notice, whoops, had a very stressful two weeks but all went well - for us, this meeting means presenting our research plan and preliminary data to a committee of four professors so they can give you input, it’s not suuuper formal but still pretty stressful), then I had to write the report for that (I love writing so that one was okay), then there was suddenly a lot to do for a really important cooperation with a company (big money responsibility which stressed me the fuck out), and then, just as I thought I was pretty much done for the year, I realised I needed my lab book up to date for my end of year meeting with my PI (which wouldn’t be such a big deal, except I didn’t have a lab book at the time. Never got around to starting one. So nine months of lab book were written within another very stressful week). Whew. Even writing this out makes me feel like that was a lot haha. 

• After the end of year discussion, I really was done for the year - I officially worked until the 23rd but there was not that much actual work happening, and with the pressure off after months, I properly crashed for a few days. Ben left for England on the weekend after to see his family for christmas etc, and I spent most of that weekend sleeping and doing very little. It was needed. Then my mum came to visit me for the holidays and we had four really lovely days together, also involving a lot of chilling (the only actual thing we did was that magical winter hike that I posted some pictures of the other day). 

• And now I’m skiing! I was planning to go to England as well for NYE to see Ben’s family, but with the corona situation escalating again lately I decided it was too risky for just a few days. So I made a last-minute plan to go skiing by myself instead, because all that involves is a 2 hour train journey. I’m actually staying in a hotel too, which I’ve never done by myself before, I’m usually a dorm in a hostel type of person, but well. Covid has changed a lot of things :D trying to stay safe and away from people, which is of course not entirely possible in a ski resort, but it’s going okay. The skiing itself is great, it’s really nice having some time to go at my own pace and a few days in a row. Today was day 4 and I’ve really found my groove again (more on that later). There’s not much snow though so not many off-pisteing opportunities :/ I’m staying until Monday and then it’s back to work on Wednesday. 

• Speaking of skiing, we’ve got season passes this year, my first season and Ben’s second. We’ve just been doing on the weekends so far - since the 21st of November I just realised while looking back in my calendar! That’s one hell of an early season start haha. We did just one day three weekends and then one full weekend right before Ben left. The first few days were bloody hard. For context, I learned to ski before I learned to walk and loved it as a child, then stopped for a few years because I felt like I wasn’t progressing anymore and was getting bored with it, basically. Then last January I went to France with Ben and his skiing friends and got introduced to freeriding and the idea of ski touring, and now I’m back to loving it haha. I’d ideally like to not have to resort ski anymore at one point (meaning touring) because I know it’s terrible from an environmental standpoint but... idk. It’s currently my only option, and I love it a lot, so I guess it feels okay? Anyway, since I learned to ski so early, it’s the one sport that I’ve always been pretty good at and like, never get scared, at least not on piste. Until this year. The first three individual days were just all kind of horrible, the conditions weren’t ideal with very hard surface and tons of ice and pretty busy slopes, and only steep terrain open as well (Engelberg, our “home” resort - we have a season pass that encompasses a bunch of resorts so we’re not limited to one - is literally dead flat beginner’s slopes, which weren’t open in the beginning, or red runs that should be black and black lol). Pairing loads of ice with my old skis which barely have an edge anymore was... not ideal. I was so scared constantly and it made me like I lost all my ability etc etc. But yeah, turns out I just needed a few days and some easier conditions to get back into it, and now ice and steep stuff and everything is fine again. Who would’ve thought. (a sensible person, probably). 

• But then, the full weekend we skied in December was awesome! Saturday already felt much better and then it snowed a bunch over night and Sunday we spent all day powder skiing, basically. I learned SO much and just had an absolute ball! Definitely one of the best days skiing I’ve had, and one of the best days recently in general. 

• Plus that whole weekend was just lovely, car camping in a campsite full of huge campervans was pretty fun :D I love the looks we get when people see the car and clearly wonder where we sleep. And we’ve got our setup perfected for winter now so both the nights were toasty. Friday night we had dinner in “bed” watching a movie, and Saturday night we sat in the little kitchen (the campsite has it open for everyone, but everyone else there has a camper, so it doesn’t seem to be used much) drinking tea and playing cards and ahh. Camping in the mountains. My ideal life eh? (though the weekend before this wonderful one, we got snowed in because it dumped over a metre over night completely unexpectedly and that was stressful as hell, but I think that’s a story for another day, if ever, I’m kind of trying to forget that day :’D) 

• Yesterday I also finally took the plunge and ordered new skis. Been debating for ages which ones to get but I’ve finally decided and I’m now very excited! 

• Ok this post so far reads as “work and skiing” which is pretty much what November and December were and probably what January is going to be too haha. Ben and I want to ski another week together end of January as well, and there’s some big exciting work things coming up as well. 

• Even though I have to admit, now that I’m on a break, I’ve spent a lot of time dreading work and questioning my career choices and all of that lark... sigh. I love my job most of the time, but I kind of hate having a job? If that makes sense? Sometimes (okay a lot of the time) I just wish I had more time for other things that I care about. But I also now I’m lucky to have that job, especially this year, and lucky to have a job I don’t hate, and get to do a lot of fun stuff on the side, even if it often means little sleep and downtime. 

• Speaking of things I care about, I was on a proper roll with writing for a few days before and after Christmas. It’s ebbed off again a bit, but it was still pretty cool, and my totally-useless-all-cheese-project is now 33,000+ words long and like, half-way there story wise. Had a lot of fun with that. 

• Lastly, Ben is still in England, and he’s coming back next Sunday, and I can’t wait! I miss him so much when we’re not together it’s actually silly. Although it’s less stressful this time than the last few times because... we live together, his work just offered him an unlimited contract from January, and I’m stuck here for another 2-3 years, so it looks like we’ll actually get to be in the same place for now. Which is all I wished for last year, and I’m so damn grateful - that stability really is the best thing 2020 has brought for me. And, as he said, even though we were apart for the start of the new year, it will hopefully bring more time together than any previous year ♡

• Okay I think this is long enough now, if you actually made it until here you’re a hero and I will try and post a bit more regularly again now to avoid this size of mind dump :’D I hope you all got into the new year alright, it feels very strange to me that it’s 2021 because I actually slept through midnight on new year’s for the first time since I was tiny haha but I’m sure a lot of people feel the same way! 

[carols-review-box]

My Thoughts on Ginny & Georgia: Season 1 

These are my thoughts.

Right off the bat, I want to address that this is, by no means, a comprehensive review. I’m not even sure if it can be called a review. These are just my thoughts on the show, and it may or may not cover everything (in fact, it most certainly won’t cover everything), and I’ll try my best to write it out in an organized manner, but I can’t make promises. (Though, in all fairness, this is just a blog for my own entertainment, and I don’t expect anyone to actually read it.) 

Now, moving on. Ginny & Georgia, season 1. Where do I begin? 

First Impressions 

I first encountered Ginny & Georgia on Netflix when the website decided to auto play its trailer while I was scrolling through it. I watched--almost begrudgingly-- a short, 1 minute clip of Ginny complaining to her teacher about how all the books on the curriculum were written by white men. While I understand where Ginny was coming from, and while I understand that a lot of high school literature is written by authors who sometimes are not representative of their audience, Ginny’s introduction just came off as obnoxious and annoying. I thought, “Imagine moving to a new school, and that’s the first thing you say to the teacher.” I rolled my eyes, wrote the show off as another try-hard feminist woke piece (or something like that), and didn’t think I’d watch it. 

Well, at some point, I obviously decided to give the show a try. And by the middle of the first episode, I was actually really surprised when Ginny didn’t turn out to be insufferable in the beginning. I say in the beginning-- because her character really slides downhill past a certain point.

Plot 

Throughout the entire show, I was probably a thousand times more interested in Georgia’s plot than Ginny’s. 

It makes sense-- Ginny’s plot is... well, pretty much a generic teen soap opera that I’ve seen hundreds of times before. There are some unique themes to her story that I’ve rarely seen portrayed in other shows, like her experience as a biracial person, but other than that, it seems to be your run-of-the-mill drama. 

On the other hand, Georgia’s plot is fresher. I haven’t personally seen any black-widow narratives (if Georgia could be called that), so I was intrigued and curious by how her story would play out. Not to mention, I liked Georgia’s love interests far better than Ginny’s, but maybe that’s just my personal taste.

In comparing these two plots, I do feel like the writers did Ginny wrong. Georgia is given an interesting storyline with a relevant backstory and plot points that actually make sense, whereas Ginny’s story is mediocre, we rarely get to see her side of the past, and half the stuff that goes down in her life is either unrealistic and overdramatized or it just makes no damn sense. 

Characters 

I could probably talk a great deal about the characters in this show. I have the most to say about Ginny (75% of it is criticism, honestly), so I’ll dedicate an entire section to her later. For now, I’ll start with these characters:

Georgia: Georgia, oh Georgia. To put it simply, Georgia is a psychopath hidden behind a large smile and a buzzing Southern accent. For the first 5 episodes, I was so fooled by her act (and her beauty) that I forgot she’s a literal murderer and most likely not a good human being. But I guess that’s, in part, what makes her very interesting to watch. 

Hunter: I literally felt nothing but a mixture of boredom and pity whenever Hunter was on screen. For the first 8 episodes, he is just an extraordinarily boring character-- and his boringness is used as a justification by Ginny to cheat on him (that’s where the pity part comes in). I enjoyed how how he got more character in the ending episodes, and I could understand his struggles when he fought with Ginny (in that scene). But if he wasn’t dating Ginny, then he would’ve been a completely forgettable character.

Marcus: Marcus ALWAYS looks like he’s high. I don’t think there’s a single scene in the show where he doesn’t look like he just smoked something. He also has little personality, other than being the “bad boy.” I guess his hotness makes up for it, or something?

Maxine: While I enjoy Max overall, I think she can be really annoying, talkative and insensitive at times. Emphasis on the last part, because she does this irritating thing where she says something racist, and then asks if she just said something racist. 

Abby: Out of the friend group, I feel like Abby is the most dramatic without being overdramatic. She experiences things that a regular teenager would. However, she can be a bad friend at times, and I don’t like how the characters gives her a pass on some questionable choices she makes. 

Paul: I like Paul. It is a little bit hypocritical of me to say Paul is a good character when he basically has the same exact personality as Hunter, but I’m going to say it: He’s a good character.

Zion: Zion is smooth, and I enjoy his little wisdom bits with Ginny. But he was introduced too late into the show, and I can’t see him being a good fit for Georgia. 

Joe: I love Joe. Just like some of the other characters, he is kind of plain. Kind of vanilla, daresay boring, but for some reason, I love him. Maybe it’s because of his adorable connection with Georgia. Maybe it’s because he offers some much-needed comedic relief in this overdramatized show. Maybe it’s because he has attractive qualities, like running a “successful” business, or maybe he’s just my type. For many, many episodes, I wanted Georgia to get together with Joe the most. 

Austin: I forgot Austin existed for half the time. Like, I know the kid stabbed someone, but in the grand scheme of things, he’s just so forgettable.

Character: Ginny

Ginny. Ah, where do I even begin with Ginny? 

First, I’m just going to say this: I know the writers intended to depict a biracial person’s experience in America through Ginny. I’m not biracial myself, and I don’t fully understand the issues that biracial people go through, so I’m not going to comment too much on how the authors managed to fuck up. I say “how” and not “if,” because a lot of biracial people have said that Ginny & Georgia is kind of a bad example of their life, and also because even I can see the problems with the show from a mile away. 

Getting that out of the way, I’ll start with Ginny’s overall character. 

One would think that a character who is depicted as-- for a lack of better words-- as “woke,”... as in, a character who is supposed to have better moral values than others (the definition comes from the word’s general connotative interpretation from leftist media), would be a good human being. But time and time again, we see that Ginny is everything but. 

These are my biggest issues with Ginny’s character:

1) She acts like she’s better than everyone else, but also like she’s super oppressed. I know these two personality traits aren’t mutually exclusive, but they’re not a good combination either. 

2) She thinks she’s the only person in the entire town who has real issues. Other characters confront her about this, and she eventually mellows down, but it’s astounding to me the amount of people she had to offend before she got the point.

3) She can be really ungrateful and rude towards her mom. I know Georgia is not a perfect mother-- not even close-- and she can be genuinely crazy at times, but Ginny is very rarely appreciative of her mom’s efforts. 

4) Despite Ginny’s intelligence, she is not smart. She commits a bunch of dumb mistakes. Now, some of these can be attributed to her just being a teenager-- like having unprotected sex, sending nudes, being peer pressured into stealing, etc. Whereas other choices-- most notably cheating on her boyfriend-- are just a product of her shitty personality.

5) There is a really bad implication concerning Ginny’s views on race. I can probably talk a lot about race in this show, but true to my word, I’ll keep this short and talk about the one thing that really bothered me: Ginny ignores the black kids. There’s a line in the show where Ginny says she’s too white for the black folks and too black for the white folks... and she uses this to justify never having any friends or not fitting in. But when she gets to Wellsbury, she’s accepted by everyone, including black people, yet she chooses to ignore them. She only sits with them near the end of the show when her friend group kicks her out. And she looks miserable. 

Ginny likes to complain a lot about her white side, but all things considered, I think she has an issue with her black side instead. I don’t know if this is representative of the biracial experience, but I imagine this can’t be a good thing to portray on screen. 

I know it’s crazy of me to say this right after I just ripped Ginny apart. However, despite everything, I actually like Ginny as a character. Do I like her as much as I like Georgia or Joe? No, but she swings more good than bad. What can I say? She’s entertaining (in the same way that Cheryl from Riverdale is entertaining). She’s at least somewhat relatable, and I wouldn’t have watched the entire season if I truly found her to be unbearable. 

That being said, Ginny does have a lot of potential to grow, and I sincerely hope the writers do her better in the next season. 

Themes 

*At some point in the future, I may add more to this section.  

Family: Despite a significant portion of this show being terribly unrealistic, I appreciate the show’s overall depiction of family and separation. For one, the show represents families who aren’t stereotypically nuclear. Our main protagonists are a single mother-daughter combo. The Bakers next door have a deaf father and a mother who doesn’t fit into a perfect mold. There’s a biracial family (Hunter) who connects far more with their American side than their Taiwanese-- so much that Hunter and his sister don’t even speak a lick of Mandarin. The small details and nuances which are added into the show makes them far more representative of the general American population. 

Conversations: This show gives conversations that are far overdue in media. While Hunter and Ginny’s fight scene is 98% pure cringe, the remaining 2% of it is an important reminder on being biracial (or a person of color) in America. Many of us struggle with our racial identity, and it’s unproductive to compare who has it worse. 

Overall + Rating 

To me, the first season of Ginny & Georgia is a 6.5/10. (Five being the average; so this would be a little better than average). While it showed a lot of potential at the beginning, the show eventually devolved to nothing more than a standard melodrama-- even on Georgia’s part. It tried hard to be another Gilmore Girls but ended up falling quite short. I am looking forward to its second season though; and hopefully, it’s much better than the first. 

[ceruleanwhore]

Let’s talk about LoK’s shit worldbuilding

Technology is what I’ve seen the most people the most opinionated about, so that’s where I’ll start. Plenty of people out there share my opinion that having LoK be set in basically the American 20s is just some really shitty worldbuilding but I’ve also encountered plenty more who are of the opinion that since it’s technically possible, that means it’s good. For those who aren’t aware: just because something is technically possible does NOT make it good. AtLA is set in a more traditional fantasy world with a hard magic system where the setting, character design, and everything else are meant to feel older (even though this time it isn’t modeled after Europe). There is some technology in AtLA and what is shown works with the nature of their world and their society so it isn’t like, say, a lamppost from England being dropped right into this little fantasy world and disrupting things. The trains in Ba Sing Se are a perfect example of this with how they are operated by benders and also fit, visually, with the surrounding buildings and whatnot.

The issue with LoK is that it seems that there was no real thought around the development and incorporation of new technology in the context of the world. Instead, it’s as though they copied and pasted the American 20s in there and it’s really jarring. This would be the part where I said that just because it’s possible doesn’t mean it’s good writing- just because our industrial revolution was at breakneck speed doesn’t mean that having your fantasy world develop the same way is a good idea. For a little context, let’s compare this to the Lord of the Rings. Imagine that Christopher Tolkien one day decided to write a whole new four part series set a century after the end of Return of the King. So now, seemingly out of nowhere, boom, technology. Minas Tirith is basically 1920s Chicago, they have cars and stuff. And the thing is that there was a little bit of technology in LotR, just like with AtLA, so that is a fair comparison. 

Also, like I said earlier, it feels lazy with how they’re just throwing in some of these different types of technology. For example, a glove that electrocutes people with no explanation whatsoever on how it works doesn’t make sense. Not to mention, the fact that anything relies on lightning bending, which is SUPPOSED to be super fucking rare (more on that later) is beyond stupid. 

I think this reflects an ongoing issue with Korra where they clearly think that they should be trying to make things more “realistic” but either don’t realize or don’t care that in the process they’re wrecking that ‘fantasy’ feel their world used to have, which brings us to our next topic: people.

Just like how they decided to go the ‘realism’ route with a breakneck industrial revolution, they also decided to go that same route with homosexuality and, more importantly, homophobia. Friendly reminder that if you’re writing fantasy and you spice it some with some good, wholesome gay content, you DO NOT have to ruin it with fucking homophobia. It’s supposed to be fantasy, you dense fuck. It has its own problems but the Dragon Prince is an absolutely perfect example of how to write gayness in fantasy, i.e., perfectly common with zero homophobia to be seen. Writing it like Bryke did just to double down on “it’s been like 90 years since the war ended but did you know the Fire Nation is fucking TERRIBLE and Sozin is basically HITLER?” is weak, stupid, and fucking annoying.

The other thing I want to touch on is race. Basically, put whoever you want in your story and have them look however you want them to look but keep in mind that the way you do or do not introduce groups of people can affect the quality of your writing. What I mean is that with a fantasy universe like this, it’s all wysiwyg. When the gaang traveled around *the world* meeting and interacting with all kinds of people from all kinds of places in all 3 remaining nations (and showing memories of the air nomads that are now gone), that’s your chance to showcase all that wonderful diversity. By the end of the series, when their tour of the whole world is over, you should have a complete picture. 

Again, think about LotR for a second. By the end of Return of the King, you’ve encountered all the different types of men that ever existed in any of Tolkien’s writings (kinda sorta including the dunedain, and there’s even a reference or two in there with Aragorn tying that in all nicely), multiple kinds of elves, dwarves, goblins, hobbits, ents, huorns, the eagles, Tom Bombadil and Goldberry, the Nazgul, and multiple maiar (some good, some corrupt). The only race that hasn’t appeared in any of this that does exist in Tolkien’s other works is the valar but, otherwise, you, as the reader, along with characters like Frodo have been introduced to each and every race in middle earth, and, frankly, the Valar can be excused because they all are in the Undying Lands (plus Manwe might have been mentioned with the eagles.) Now, compare that to LoK where, with a Rowling level of retconning, they decided to just add some more races out of nowhere with no explanation 90 years or whatever after the original series. 

I just know that, for myself, I would’ve loved to see all this included from the beginning and incorporated into the original series and the travels of the gaang. Instead, we have it so AtLA is pretty set one way and then in LoK there’s just that one random dude with an afro and then, going into the comics afterwards, they decided to start incorporating different races in a way that feels like a JK Rowling tweet (“Hermione was black all along, even though I described her in the books as having light skin and picked a white actress to play her, I swear!”) So, basically, when you’re writing fantasy, you kind of have to include everything like that because that’s how the genre works and it’s not like in normal fiction where you can just have a black character without any explanation. Once again, the difference between how fantasy writing works and things being “realistic”.

As for realism, yanking the white lotus out into the open by their ear like an errant child is so unspeakably dumb and unrealistic. They’re a SECRET society who transcend the four nations and operate in SECRET jfc. After the war ended and the old folks home was no longer fighting the Fire Nation, the rest of them should’ve been able to go back into hiding no problem. But to drag their asses into this mess just to make them like Korra’s personal bodyguards and guards at high security prisons is so fucking stupid it hurts.

So then, to finish this up, let’s talk about bending. First off, there’s the issue of how bending forms have just… ceased to exist and/or been replaced with vague yet aggressive punching. Remember when Katara had to learn all those water bending stances and there was even a scroll of them? Or when Aang had to learn fire bending forms from Zuko? Well fuck that, now everyone can just punch at stuff instead. Never been able to airbend even with what should be proper form? Try waving your fist around!

The other thing is how so many of these characters are just “so naturally gifted” and can either successfully bend well with little to no experience or casually do stuff that’s supposed to be hella difficult. An example of the first point is Zaheer who just got his airbending like 3 days prior but suddenly can fucking fly and an example of the latter would be the blood bending, just all of it. That’s kind of another thing, though, how they’ve taken these things that were special and notoriously difficult and then watered them down and made it so literally everyone can do it. You know how lightning bending was a really cool thing only Ozai and Azula, the Fire Lord and princess who are both also known to be especially skilled benders, could do? Not anymore, now pretty much any fire bender with a pulse can shoot lightning out of their fingers. Same goes for blood and metal bending.

Also, can I just say that I’m mad at how pro bending was done? The earth bending stuff with the Boulder and all that worked because that framework of wrestling is really well suited to the element. Now, it’s what I’ve been saying where it’s like ‘oh yeah we can just put all the elements together in this boxing type shit because everyone in this fucking series can bend by punching, right?’ They had an awesome opportunity here to figure out different styles of fighting sports tailored to the different types of bending and they said ‘nope, fuck you’ and gave us that shit. Or just sports, in general, based around if the people playing and benders and, if so, what type of bending they have.

The last main thing with bending though is the absolute horseshit of harmonic convergence and kinda just season 2 in general. For starters, Korra getting her bending back because dead Aang was like “here ya go” was bullshit. I feel like it would’ve been better if that had been when Unalaq got introduced as her spiritual guide and, through working with him, she eventually was able to reach Wan, see his whole backstory like we got in episode 7, and then, afterwards, she could contact Raava directly and somehow with her get her bending back. Then, afterwards, she could go back to Republic City and give everyone their bending back and start helping with reconstruction from Amon. Season 2 doesn’t need a villain and it most certainly does NOT need that dumbass ‘dark avatar’ bullshit. 

Also, in terms of the air bending, seriously, fuck that shit. If air bending is going to come back then maybe, I don’t know, after following my other advice have Korra realize that not only can she take bending away (like Aang) but she can also give it so she could just go around to all the acolytes and make them airbenders. Or, if that would fuck up the balance or some shit, have her go around and make all the people who lost their bending to Amon into a fresh batch of air benders. You can’t really introduce something like energy bending and then expect us to believe that the only way to bring air bending back is for Aang to fuck a lot and then rely on following generations and subsequent incest, plus hc is fucking stupid when you have a character who can straight up just give people bending.

Oh and all that convergence shit brings up my last point of discussion, the way they retconned and fucked up the lore. Just like with what they did with lightning, blood, lava, and metal bending, they also decided to just do everything they could with those fucking turtles. Just like with Azula’s lightning bending, the entire fucking reason the lion turtle works so well is because of how it is so rare and special and all that so once you take that away, it doesn’t matter anymore smh. For most peope, champagne is special. You know why? Because most of us aren’t out here drinking the shit by the gallon every day. So yeah, between that and the way they threw away already established lore (that was further reinforced by experiences of characters in the show) makes it just a big old “yike”. All they had to do was fanagle a bit to keep Raava and Vaatu but ditch the whole hc shitshow and just maintain the parts that are already established.

[guymaito]

For the ask thing :3:

Top 5 animals? Top 5 fav/comfort movies? Top 5 fav cartoons/shows?

I’m honestly glad to know theres other people including you who actually like Pakku and his character :3 Yes he was a completely asshole at the start but he did change, it’s just that it was so subtle that not everyone saw it

Also random song associations with characters:

Fighter by Jack Stauber reminds me very well of Piandao, Pakku, and Jeong Jeong as their younger selves during the war.

Why do I associate Grace by Lewis Capaldi with Bumi? (the music video tho would give more context to why it might make sense)

Oh Klahoma by Jack Stauber reminds me of Piandao and his overall anxieties for his partners.

Consider some of these songs as sorta song recs? Idk but still :3

1. Giraffes!! the reason why their tongues look like That is cause of extra melanin and to prevent sunburn!!

2. Seals!! there are 33 different kinds of pinnipeds and there over 50 extinct pinnipeds

3. Dogs!! they can only see in shades of blue and yellow, so bright red roses look yellowish brown and lively green grass look dehydrated and dead

4. Crows!! a group of them are called a murder

5. Cows!! they’re actually colorblind, they can’t see red specifically, so male cows, bulls aren’t getting mad at the color, they’re getting angry at the movement

1. The Losers movie from 2010, it’s a action mystery movie about Clay and his team that are a part of an elite US Special Forces Unit and are approached by a mysterious woman to exact revenge on their handler, Max, who betrayed them and just,,,the characters, CHRIS EVANS, jake jensen and all of his kinda weird glory, THE ELEVATOR SCENE, also cougar!!

2. Captain America and The Winter Soldier movie, it’s a action movie, which makes me realize that a lot of my faves are prolly gonna be action something, but anyways, it’s about Steve Rogers, who now lives in the nation's capital as he tries to adjust to modern times. An attack on a S.H.I.E.L.D. colleague throws Rogers into a web of intrigue that places the whole world at risk. Joining forces with the Black Widow, Natasha Romanov, and a new ally, Sam Wilson, Steve struggles to expose an ever-widening conspiracy, but he and his team soon come up against an unexpected enemy. oh my god,,,just,,,the fight scenes, the running scene at the beginning of the movie, steve meeting sam that way, just everything!! this was also my introduction to marvel so in my mind no other marvel movie can live up to this (other than spiderman away from home)

3. Spiderman Far from Home, again, it’s a action movie, i’m not gonna explain this cause the post is getting long, but!! mj and peter!! just,,,all of their scenes!! also jake gyllenhaal!! the fight scenes!! the soundtrack!! everything about it is amazing!!

4. Thunderforce, again, i’m not gonna explain, it’s an action adventure and comedy movie (ofc it is look at the other 3 🙄 /s), the relationship between lydia and emily!! the relationship between lydia and emily’s daughter!! the humor!! the fight scenes!! the soundtrack!!,,,,just everything about is good despite the bad ratings

that’s more like a top 4 than a top 5 but that’s like,,,,all the movies i genuinely like and will rewatch if given the chance and for that where’s a honorable mention: Hamilton (the movie version on disney+ that came out i think nearly a year ago), the soundtrack is amazing, the characters are better, got some funny moments and is mostly historically accurate, like yeah angelica did forget her name cause at the time of her meeting alex ham, she was married to a man named john church (or something church idk) so her last name was church but she introduced herself to alexander as angelica schuyler, not angelica church, so in satisfied she was telling the truth about forgetting her own name, but in the same song she said that her father had no sons even though the real angelica had 3 brothers.

1. Avatar the last Airbender, ofc or else i would have a blog (mostly) centered around it and it’s sequel /s but fr though?? it’s such a good show!! zuko’s redemption arc, iroh’s redemption arc (even though his more subtle than zuko’s) , aang!! love him and his character so much, especially when he gets to be a sassy little shit, sokka and his shit humor and brains, katara, toph, hakoda and HIS shit humor, the fight scene with hakoda (he fights kinda like a waterbender, using his opponent’s momentum against them), bato and his lovely, lovely voice, piandao, aang going ‘how about he get on YOUR back and you can fly us to the south pole’ or something like that to sokka after he complained about appa not flying higher, the boiling rock episodes, hakoda apparently being a good dad but a shitty prison riot starter (love that for him), just!! atla is such a good ass show, im not changing my mind. also!! i like the way they introduced ozai, not showing his face but still presenting him as not only a shit dad, but a shit person as well, like up until book three, we only saw him like, the neck down and in like, a flashback or two (i don’t really remember how many flashbacks ozai was in actually cause it’s nearly been a full year since i last watched it) and that’s it, so it made seeing his face for the first time all the more better cause you was already like ‘what the hell does this shitbag look like’ and then you see him and now ur like ‘oh!! THATS what he looks like!!’

2. The Legend of Korra, again, ofc or else i wouldn’t have a blog (mostly) centered around it and it’s prequel, just,,,,korra’s arc from being hot headed to calm is fantastic but also sad considering the way she went from that to this, korra’s book 1 character!! for whatever reason i really like b1 korra, just,,her design, her hair style (even though she had it for nearly the entire series) just!!! book 1 korra <3, also the entirety of book 1!! just amon posing as a anti bender nonbender despite being a waterbender himself, the scene where tenzin and his kids nearly lost their bending, which would’ve meant that, if tenzin did lose his bending but his kids didn’t, that would’ve meant the strongest airbender would’ve been his 11 year old daughter, the gruesome way to end the season finale episode by doing a murder suicide which was dark as fuck for what?? a kids show??, also the villains in this show!! their good as hell!! the backstory of the red lotus and how and why they were created?? amon and his anti bending?? kuvira and her plan to basically rule the earth kingdom (idk i haven’t finished book 4), unalaq and his spiritual stuff and wanting to become a dark avatar and fusing with vaatu?? also!! the other disturbing scene of korra basically getting tortured near the end of book 3, i mean?? it deadass left her hella traumatized and unable to walk, again hella dark for a fucking kids show

3. The Walking Dead, even though i haven’t finished it or watched in like, 4-5 months, i just,,,the way the presented negan!! practically foreshadowing him the entirety of season 6!! him appearing at the very end of the season 6 finale and pretty much having an entire episode dedicated to him in the very beginning of season 7 (which is why some fans argue he was introduced in s7 not s6 cause of the fact that he didn’t show up until the very end of the s6 finale but had an entire episode with him in it in s7, while others say vice versa cause the very the first time we see him was in s6 not s7), the fact that the walking dead logo was getting progressively more and more decayed as the series go on?? the fact that the WALKERS (the zombies) are getting more and more decayed as the series go on?? dale’s death scene?? shane’s death scene?? negan’s relationship with rick’s daughter?? the fact that this show also has what?? 11, 12 seasons?? which reminds me that i’m still on season 9 of twd

4. Sabrina the Teenage Witch, just,,,salem and his sarcasm?? sabrina’s aunts?? sabrina herself?? just!! everyone is just so fucking funny in this show it’s unreal, specially salem!! a lot of my favorite scenes have salem in them, the ‘are you on a women’s chat room again?’ (or something like that) and salem saying ‘i like the attention’ in response, that one harvey and salem scene that i don’t know how to describe without turning this into a giant paragraph like the ones before this one

5. blue’s clues, it was my favorite childhood show and i love the reboot of it so much!! especially p for pride moment in that song i don’t remember the name of, blue themself!! steve leaving which was sad but getting an equally amazing host in the process?? amazing!! the scene where salt and pepper introduced their baby, paprika?? just,,,it’s such good show and i loved it when i was younger and i still love it now!!

[popculturebuffet]

Loud House Reviews: Racing Hearts

Welcome back errbody. Continuing the Salauna trilogy with Racing Hearts. We’ve already seen the cute asking them out story , now comes the actual first date.. which ITSELF is massively important. Keep in mind even though Nick fully supported L is for Love and the crew put a lot of work into it given how good it turned out, Sam easily still could’ve vanished into Limbo. For it’s first 2 seasons loud house, the show HAD continuity: Once Ronnie Anne and Bobby moved away to set up their spinoff, there was an episode with Lincoln’s friends trying to help him deal with missing her in the first ep giving any of them  besides Clyde focus, a trend that would continue, they still showed up via video chat or in person where waranted and there was a full episode about Lincoln’s group of friends trying to help him deal with it... which also reminds me of a smiliar episode of ned’s declassified that was really damn good but unrelated to this... seriously that show is underated and I hope with the Netflix deal it shows up there.  Anywho back on the show we’re actually talking about, the show didn’t really have arcs, thigns that carried from episode to episode.. until Season 3. Season 3 is where the show REALLY hit it’s stride, with it now fully being an ensemble show and more continuity injected int, not interfering iwtht he show’s episodic nature but making it feel like events had meaning. Stella was introduced in “White Hare” and later got a full introduction that i’ll no doubt cover with “Be Stella My Heart” and afterwords rather than being forgotten entirely like the show used to do became part of his friend group in their episodes. Lynn SR. was revealed to have quit his office job to work at a restraunt and was working on opening his own, which while only a two episode arc, lead to the opening of Lynn’s table in the finale and it’s stuck around since. And Leni got a job at a clothing store she’s kept since and friends at said job who’ve shown up since.  See i’m fine with a show not having heavy duty continuity or serilzation, some shows thrive there but I love it when shows do this: even if it’s not all about plots, things progresing or being followed up on makes the show feel more vibrant and keeps it from stagnation in my book.  And as as show with a bunch of girls at dating age, it was invetivible theird’ be recurring romantic arcs, hence Chaz is mentoined as dating Leni, if not given any real focus so far hopefully that’ll change, while Luaan, in this episodes pairing brother, and most importantly Luna got followups on theres. And thus that brings us here to racing hearts,where nick earns the praise they got from l is for love by following up on it and showing in no uncertain terms the two as a blossoming couple.  I get to the actual episode under the cut:

We start with Lori being upset the bathroom is being taken up.... and that brings up a small issue I have: .. WHY IS THERE ONLY ONE BATHROOM FOR 10 KIDS. I do assume Lynn Sr and Rita have their own, and that it might be hard to put another one up there for plumbing reasons, but it still seems WEIRD to not have more than one up there or close to the stairs so that it dosen’t take 50 years for 10 children to get ready. And yes I said 10, Lily has a diaper and isn’t potty trained yet and any cleaning up or getting dressed, when needed, falls on Rita or Lynn Sr. But still it’s a LOT to ask for 10 children to share share one bathroom peacefully and it’s only through the power of not wanting to spend an animation budget on it that the bathroom isn’t a constant disaster area.  Anyways it’s actually Luna who, to her sister’s shock, is in a facemask getting ready to go to the Royal Woods Astonishing Quest with Sam for their first date. Naturally the other two are excited, and Luna, despite her usual nerves, is actually incredibly stoked and feels it’ll go perfectly. 

At any rate, she’s happy and Lynn comes in to kick everyone out to scrape off her callosuses instead of you know... having Lucy leave their room or doing it while she’s not there, butttt that little detail is actually a tell for later so fair play to you. Plus Lucy may just understandably find int gross and Lynn dosen’t trike me as good at picking up after herself. As it turns out to no one’s shock, Lynn was banned last year for being a sore winner and rightfully so as we see in flashback, but she’scome to terms with it... wink. But they agree to leave as the louds need to get over there anyway.  Cut to the ASTONISHING QUEST.. which turns out to be a scavenger hunt with admitely a great name. Seriously someone use that. But we see tons of returning charcters including Scootst, Pop Pop and his girlfriend, and... 

...........

I”d apologize for thatbut I feel that way any time I see the little weirners face. Be glad this dosen’t happen every time he shows up.  On the bright side he looks as dead inside as I do whenever I find out he’s in an episode, and Zack looks the same amount of dead inside.. probably because he realized a filing cabnet would’ve been a better partner. A review of your choice for the first person to get that reference and send it to me.  Thankfully my extesntial dread at seeing a Rusty cameo is lifted when Luna meets up with Sam and the two are awkard dorks together for a second as they figure out what greeting to do, settling on a handshake. It’s fucking precious. We then meet Royal Wood’s Mayor, voiced by Shirley! Now if she’d just show up on Ducktales already. Though hearing her reminds me I should do some Harvey Beaks reviews at some point... anyways, she announces the quest and Clyde and LIncoln make a fist bump while Lori and Leni stare down their parents like their about to start brawling in the streets then and there. What.. what have you guys done to each other over the years at these things? I want to know the history there. Have astonishing quest show up again in another season. I”d also love an Brooklyn Nine Nine style heist episode with this show .  Anyways, the rules are laid out: Each team is given an evelope with a clue, standard scavenger hunt contest stuff, and have challenges at each location to complete. The first team to finish wins the key to the city.. er a tiny trophy with you did it on it. Honestly that last one’s better anyway. Anyways after from trashtalk from Scoots and her partner Helen, who seems oddly familliar, we’re off! The first clue is easily figured out by Luna and the two old ladies quickly take advantage of Luna saying it loud where everyone can hear it by heading off: It’s off to Lazer Maze , the local Lazer Tag.  The guy there gives them their challenge: They need to get 500 points to get the next clue. Luna takes to it like a fish to water and easily tags Lisa and her friend Darcy... another nice little cameo. And it also shows something I like: not only are all the louds except Lynn, whose banned, and Lily, whose a baby, are competting on their own. And only Lori, who pops back up in a bit and Leni,whose partnered with her are plot relevant, but the episode easily could’ve left them out or used extras for the other teams but wisely decied to instead use characters we’re familiar with. It adds a nice touch that makes this feel like an actual event and make sme wish the show did more townwide events like this. Stars hollow it up. You have a fun character in the mayor, who was hilarious in her one minute here, you have your taylor. Just give her a quirky sidekick and have fun with it. Granted I want every series to have a little gilmore girls in it, but still.  Anyways Sam botches it and instead of shooting the golden girls shoots Luna by accient, though by the next cut they have their points, and the lazer tag guy encourages them anyway. Sam apologizes not being good at Laser tag but Luna happily shrugs it off: While she enjoys it it’s not for everyone. Anyways it’s Luna’s turn to be confused while Sam easily figures out the clue: IT’s off to the farm. And if you wanted the exact oppsite of my reaction to a Rusty cameo...

Yeah while my reactions to Rusty is “Why haven’t you died on the way to your home planet yet?” My reaction to Liam is pure joy. He’s like this generation’s stinky peterson and I love it and has a nice enjoyable personality instead of being my own personal Kahn.  Anyways LIam’s challenge is to get Eggs from the chickens. Which Sam does easily.. Luna however is nervous to start despite Sam’s reasssurances.. before totally freaking out. To be fair though, chickens can be downright terrifying. Just look at Poyo

. 

And why yes that is a chicken hell lordd whose also a cyborg  bisecting santac lause. And why no, you are’nt getting any more context than that, go read Chew.  Anyways theys till have enough eggs to complete the challenge, if now splattered in egg and with Liam disapointed with their shenanigans, but being a professinal about it. Total pro. Anyways, Sam is just as ready to brush it off as Luna, noting farms just aren’t for everyone. I also like this plot in general because while it has the series habit of “thing happens again and again and again then climax” it’s used to flesh sam out a bit. While she is there to be Luna’s love intrest, being a love intrest dosen’t mean a character can’t be good or fleshed out. Just look at tom from star vs the forces of evil for a good example of that.  Anyways it’s once again Luna’s turn to figure out the clue and we’re off to Werk It Dance studio.. I gurantee it was going to say twerk it but nick was like “oh honey no. “. The name is just awkward otherwise. Or maybe i’m just old. Also the twins are there. Just a nice thing to note and two characters I THINK are from an episode I haven’t watched yet but read about. Anyways, Luna’s pumped while sam has “oh crapbaskets” written all over her face and quickly does terribly. This one however is .. not as easy to brush of. Not liking going to farms or laser tag is easy, there just things not to do on dates. Not dancing.. is hard when your both musically inclined people whose taste in music is why you met in the first place. While they try to gloss over it, it’s clear this is an issue and worries them both.  Moving on you know the drill at this point: Sam gets the clue, Luna dosen’t, we’re off to rock climbing. Sam utterly loves it while Luna is terrified. Moving on We cut to Luna, whose sitting down feeling depressed, aka my natural state these days, when Lori and Leni show up. Lori even gave her a cute backpack for the quest.. that has a leash attached. I’d say it’s a bit extreme but i’m half convinced this happened at some point and is the reason Leni dosen’t wear laces. 

Luna is of course spiraling because it turns out she and Sam don’t have a lot in common. Lori however gives some really good advice: Turns out she and Bobby hit some of the same problems and she just suggest they both try embracing things the other person likes. Even if it dosen’t work, shocker given the episode is far from over yet, it’s not bad advice and I like that in relationsihp based episodes it’s Lori who tends to be the one helping out, having the most experince to deal with that and a, at least by this point early Lori could be a bit TOO asholish sometimes, really solid couple.  And if you read this before I apologize because for some reason Tumblr decided to EAT A THIRD OF MY REVIEW FORCING ME TO REWRITE IT. And yes i’m ranting a bit but in my defense I worked hard on this and to have most of it chewed up through no fault of my own pisses me off and thus I needed to rant a bit. Back to the review! So Luna tries Lori’s approach while Lori runs off to find Leni who got off the leash.. again. SHe’s probably just going to sniff some ground, eat the plants,she’ll be finnne Lori. Anyways Luna and Sam go to the local health smoothie shop, the kind of place that is my nightmare for people like me with Orangutan bods but makes sense Sam would be into, and the next challenge is identify what this smoothie is made of. I”ve played this game before: my guesses were fish bones,chicken bones, and dry bones.... seriously the glass was just purred bones. I never bought a smoothie from that guy again.. mostly because someone called the cops. There’s a lesson in that. Luna however spits hers out.  IN a break from formula the next activity is for Luna to come sail away, come sail away come sail away with Sam.. whose actually a pretty apt sailor. You can guess the rest. Luna botches it, they still get the clue, yadda yadda time for the sad part. The two have an honest discussion abotu the fact that despite chemstry being there, they seemingly have nothing but their music in common and are diffrent people, with Luna glumly resolving to finish the race as friends and neither being happy. WHelp my heart just broke, next episode.  So Mayor SHirley from Community greets the girls at the final challenge: A bake off... because apparently just being the first one there wasn’t good enough... then again i’ve seen far worse rule changes by a far smugger canadian man so i’ll let it slide. Thankfully the universe throws the two a bone: Neither can bake. What follows is a damn adorable scene: The two touch hands and blush over butter, before working in synch.. and Sam then procedes to cause their pie to explode in her face.. I could’ve phrased that better, but Luna giggles at it, Sam playfully tackles her giggling insues and the two end up on the ground, smiling at each other. Also Helen and Scoots win. Who cares. Luna realizes from this that she was an idiot to suggest giving up so soon, and proposes they simply try to find things they like together rather than focusing on their diffrences. Because as a coked out cat who sang a duet with a coked out Paula Abdul once said:  If things go wrong we make corrections, to keep things goin in the right directions, try to fight it but i’m telling you jack, it’s uselss opposites attract! By the way the show really dropped the ball not having Luna mention this song titles in one of her song refrence things she does this episode. Anyways the two decide to start dating and then hug. My heart.. it’s too full.  We end the episode on the reveal Helen is Lynn, a nice payoff for earlier as Lynn rides off on her elderly partner in crimes scooter into the sunset while Luna and Sam giggle and look on. Like any great love story. And we’re out.  Final Thoughts:  Okay second time around with this, and it’s a great ep. The repetition hurts it SLIGHTLY, but Sam and Luna’s chemistry helps the episode as does it’s terrific aseop: You don’t have to be exactly alike to love a person, or like the same things.. as long as you connect, and TRY to find things you both enjoy, you’ll be fine. The episodes also helped by plenty of nice little cameos, showing off the series new grasp on continuity, and Lori being Luna’s advisor and Lynn naturally being the douchey rival to them and everyone else. Overall a solid ep that was a natural step forward and set up a good status quo for Sam and Luna. The next ep dosen’t feel as natural a story step, but is still a nice one and the one that insipired me to take the leap and review these eps so join me next time as our faviorite couple bond with some cats and get into some scooby doo door shenanigans with “The Purrrfect Gig” Until then later days. 

[aphrodites-law]

A Bit of Clarity 🍂 (4/?) The visions had started last autumn, a year ago now. It had caused a bit of chaos for some, a bit of clarity for others. Two days ago, Clarke Griffin had been perfectly fine managing both her Café and her stress. But now she was curious - so deeply curious about the vision of herself entwined with the aloof Lexa Woods that it was leading her to complete distraction.

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] 

The open mic was neither a success nor a failure. It was inevitable that they took a hit following Finn's own event, which Clarke refused to think about. She could only hope he'd had as small a profit as Baker's had, though in the end new clientele did come and there was the possibility that they would come again. That was good. They'd had fun, too, especially when Wells and Harper had decided to do some improv to warm up the room.

Despite the pleasant weekend, Clarke was relieved it was over, her body still feeling the effects of long days and short nights. She had what felt like three knots in her back, all of them maddeningly out of reach.

She sipped on her own coffee in between orders that Tuesday, relatively glad for the busy pace. Busy meant she didn't have time to think. Gaia, Harper and her moved around one another with practiced ease, communicating swiftly whenever necessary. Clarke didn't want a second to herself. Whenever she had a moment, she went in the back to check on their stock. She counted jars. She undid and redid her ponytail. There was absolutely no reason for her to think about the past Friday. None at all. She had far more important things to do.

Raven came in after lunch hours, peeking into the kitchen while she took off her hat. Clarke followed her with amusement, wondering why she was acting like a sleuth. 

“Wells is on his break," she told her.

“Oh I know." Raven turned to her and lowered her voice. "I need to talk to you.”

“What’s up?”

Raven went around the counter. "Did you get him a birthday present yet?"

Clarke rearranged the presentation of their last few sandwiches on display. "Did I get him a present six weeks in advance? No."

Raven grinned. "Perfect. I got him the best seats to this new play - Nowhere Ground - big fucking hit he's been pissed isn’t on his season pass. But then I started thinking- how amazing would it be if I could get him a backstage tour of the Music Hall too?"

Clarke could guess where this was going. "You think if I had contacts there I wouldn't have pounced on them already? Besides, you're closer to the entertainment business than I am. Doesn't your team know people?"

Raven shook her head. "Too prideful. Theater rivalry and all that.”

Clarke slid closed the display window. “Well... you could ask Niylah? I think her dad does deliveries for the Music Hall. He might know someone.”

“Niylah who I barely know and who you dumped?”

“I didn’t du- okay, just tell me what you need.”

“You’re not going to like it.”

“Spill.”

“Well my guys couldn't be bothered, but I did get a tip-off that the Music Hall crew hangs out at Barton after Saturday shows. I figured we could go together, schmooze a bit-“

“Wait a minute- Barton?”

“I know what you’re thinking, but there’s no way Daddy’s Boy will be there mingling with tech crew. Besides, the place's changed a lot since college.”

Clarke glanced at the front door, desperate for a new customer to give her a way out. “Why am I being roped into this again?”

“Because I can’t actually do the flirting.”

Clarke pretended to think about it for a second. “Right. I'll pass.”

“Clarke,” Raven groaned. “It’s for your best friend! And you might actually meet someone out of it.”

“Someone like Finn?” Clarke asked pointedly.

“Someone good for you,” Raven amended. “But if you're really not feeling it, you can just slip in a word about your café to a whole crew who’ll probably end up hungover and in dire need of quality coffee the next day."

“Raven...”

“What do you have to lose?”

“A nice warm bath while I finally catch up on my book?”

“Sometimes I look at you and wonder how the fuck you’re single, but then these words come out of your mouth and I remember.”

“You kiss Wells with that mouth?”

“And he loves it. Come on, Clarke. Please?”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Fine. But if anyone makes puns about my buns, I’m out.”

“Fair.”

* * *

Clarke met Octavia Blake just ten minutes after stepping into Barton that Saturday night. Clarke had opted for dark fitted pants and a low-cut top paired with her midnight blue blazer, though in this weather she'd regretted not taking her coat instead. She'd curled her hair and made an effort with her makeup, just enough to at least cover her fatigue. 

Clarke hadn't been to Barton since college, where, yes, she had regrettably met Finn and fallen for his then boyish charm. She'd been swept up in the thrill of dating a politician's son and he'd been after a way to hurt his long-distance girlfriend - that was all there was to know about it all. Clarke's regret was that she had been blind for too long. But Raven was right to say the place was different - and the last time they'd all been here felt like forever ago now. Finn himself hadn't changed much, but Clarke hardly recognized herself in pictures from that time, where her hair went down to her waist and most of her clothes were paint-stained. Everything had been different then; less predictable maybe.

But there was something comforting about habits too. Clarke had that feeling when they walked into the bar, suddenly recognizing everything from the tables to the ceiling. It wasn’t the place that had changed but the people. Gone were the college juniors and seniors, now working adults with better clothes and sharper features. Barton had a sprawling design, with small rooms connected to each other and three different bars. Raven grabbed her hand and led her to the busiest one, where the people couldn't be mistaken for anything other than theater crew. Huddled together with beers in hand, they wore sweatshirts and baseball caps and some even still with gaffer tape hanging from lanyards at the side of their jeans.  

By the sound of them, they were happy to be done for the weekend. There was something infectious about their energy and their tired grins.

"Raven fucking Reyes!" A woman called out after they had gotten their beers.

"Octavia?" Raven gasped aloud. "What the fuck?"

Before Clarke even saw it coming, Octavia had wrapped her arms around Raven and just about lifted her off the ground.

"Shit, what did they feed you at Yale?" Raven asked while laughing.

Octavia stepped back with a wide smile. "Just the regular ramen, but I did take up boxing."

"Figures." Raven turned to Clarke. "Clarke, this is Octavia - a little punk I used to tutor."

"Would've never gotten into Yale without that big brain helping me," Octavia added. "What've you been up to?"  

"Definitely didn't pack on more muscle. I'm at sound engineer at the Swan House."

"Awesome, lots of sound people around tonight. I'll introduce you guys."

Raven glanced at Clarke with a knowing smirk. "Perfect."

"Do you work at the Music Hall?" Clarke asked Octavia.

"Not exclusively. I'm a stunt coordinator," Octavia said, clearly proud. "I'm also an instructor at my friend's gym in the Green Strip."

"Damn," Raven said. "How the hell did you land in Costial after I kicked your ass to Yale?"

Octavia chuckled. “Well I did meet the love of my life at Yale - it just worked out that his family's here in theater city and we could both find plenty of work."

“Is he here?" Raven asked.

"Oh he's always a bit longer after shows, but he'll be around soon. Come on, let me introduce you both to the crew."

* * *

They met riggers and lighting technicians, costumers and makeup artists. Clarke had forgotten how nice it was to see new faces without waiting to hear their order. It was almost like a reflex now, but everyone was warm and welcoming. Clarke had no doubt that Raven would get Wells his backstage tour, and possibly even more.

After a while they sat at one of the side tables, starting on their second beers. Clarke was listening to Octavia when she looked up and the widest smile spread on her face.

"Linc'!" she called.

Clarke froze in her seat, cursing her bad luck. Octavia's boyfriend, the playwright. 

His cousin was right by his side like she had been at the Polis Hotel, looking more jaded than Clarke could imagine anyone being at Barton. When their eyes met, Lexa stopped and seemed to come alive. But Clarke refused to back down this time, remembering how she'd been the one to look away at the party. Lexa had still been a mystery then. It had felt exciting to catch each other across a crowded room. Now Clarke only felt her own pride refusing to let this woman have any lasting hold on her.

Finally Lexa did look away, glancing toward the bar before she walked there. Octavia dragged her boyfriend toward their table.

"Linc', this is Raven and her friend Clarke. Guys, this is Lincoln."

"Raven who got you into Yale?" Lincoln asked with a kind smile.

"Psh, she got herself into Yale," Raven answered. "I just nudged her in the right direction."

* * *

After a while, Clarke excused herself from their table. She'd enjoyed hearing Lincoln talk about the play - and both Raven and her had plenty theater gossip to regale Wells with - but eventually Raven and Octavia moved on to reminiscing and Lincoln stood up to catch up with his colleagues.

Knowing that Raven had clearly found the connections she needed, Clarke got up as well and roamed around each room with her last beer in hand. She looked toward the end of the room and found Lexa alone at a table, one empty drink in hand and her phone in the other. 

Of course. 

Lexa looked up at the very moment, and surprisingly, stood up to walk toward her. Too startled, Clarke barely had the time to pretend she had another destination in mind.

"Clarke-"

"What?" She asked, perhaps too abruptly. 

"Could we sit down and talk?" Lexa asked.

“I don't think we have anything to say to each other."

Lexa swallowed thickly before nodding and looking down at the drink in her hand. Her quick acceptance strangely angered Clarke. She watched as Lexa regained her isolated table and ran her hand through her hair. Still clinging to her bottle, and despite knowing that two beers were fuel for bad decisions, Clarke stepped toward her.

"Actually I do have a question," she said. "What the hell is your problem?"

Lexa quickly looked up, eyes flashing with affront. "Excuse me?"

Clarke stopped on the other side of Lexa's small table. "You start talking to me, telling me about a side-job opportunity, inviting me to the premiere of a packed play, and then you treat me like the plague.”

"I wasn't aware being friendly came with so many expectations."

Clarke reeled from the coldness. "You can’t be serious.”

“What do you really want to say, Clarke?” Lexa asked.

“It's because I refused to be interviewed, isn’t it?"

This seemed to upset Lexa. "I'm a professional, not a child."

Clarke didn't believe a word of it. "Is that the kind of journalist you are? Entitled to other people's stories? Resentful when they turn you down?"

"You don't think very highly of me, do you?" Lexa asked with a clenched jaw.

"I thought we were getting along, that we-"

"What? That we owe each other anything because we had a few chats?"

It hurt, perhaps more than it should have. Lexa was right - it had only been a few conversations - but there had clearly been a shift after Clarke had turned Lexa down. And Clarke was disappointed. Disappointed that the woman she had made up in her mind had turned out to be so bitter. Disappointed that she'd allowed herself to believe Lexa might look at her differently one day.

"You know - if you want to keep sitting at tables alone and tune out the world, you go ahead and do that."

Lexa finally stood up, her stool scraping against the floor.  

"That's rich coming from you."

Clarke felt her blood run hot. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Hiding your talent behind your counter, afraid to take a chance on something new. Not exactly eager to step out of your comfort zone, are you?"

"You don't know anything about me!" Clarke snapped.

"I know you draw whenever there's a lull. I know it means something to you, even if you put every single one of them in the trash when you're done."

Clarke was taken aback for a moment, but recovered swiftly. "Not everyone needs their hobby to become a business. Who do you think you are acting like you can read people based on a few minutes of their lives?"

"That would be my job - one you seemed to find interesting at the market," Lexa answered dryly, but with such an air of arrogance that Clarke felt suddenly spiteful.  

"You think the Gazette is so fucking important? Get over yourself, Lexa."

"At least I put myself out there," Lexa retorted harshly. 

"At least I'm honest," Clarke fumed.

“With everyone but yourself it would seem.”

Clarke drew in a sharp breath. "You know what? You can talk all you want about integrity, but I'm not the one who tried to get closer in the hopes of getting a story. I'm not the one who wants everyone but herself to bare their fucking soul."

Lexa looked like she had been slapped and Clarke knew she needed to leave before they made a scene. It was clear by now that they would never see eye to eye.

"I hope you and your new coffee shop are very happy together."

* * *

Clarke walked out of the bar feeling grateful for the brutal cold. It felt like the only thing that might calm her down. She couldn't believe the turn the night had taken. Couldn't believe she'd even confronted Lexa, let alone snapped at her. Lexa's indignation had only spurred her on, but what she'd said had awakened a snarling creature. Lexa didn't have a clue what it took to run a business. Sacrifices were a part of it - she couldn’t just waste what precious time she had on pastimes. How arrogant could she be to act like she knew better?

Clarke had been so wrong. Lexa was a stuck-up, self-absorbed, entitled bitch and there was no universe where Clarke would take a person like that to bed. She'd ruined things with Niylah for a feeling that had turned out so laughably wrong. Well, screw the vision. No one knew for certain that they were glimpses of the future. No one knew a damn thing.

"Clarke, wait up!"

Clarke turned and waited for Raven, who jogged toward her and then leaned down on her knees. "Jesus, you're fast in heels."

Clarke blinked, as if suddenly remembering she'd left without even checking on her friend. "Oh Raven, I'm so sorry, I-"

"Hey, it's okay. What happened?"

“Nothing."

"You hightailed out of that bar because nothing happened?"

Clarke shook her head, unable to get the words out.

"It's that woman - Lincoln's cousin, isn’t it? She's played a number on you."

"I didn't meant to cut your evening short, you were having fun and-"

Raven grabbed her hand. "Hey, forget about that. You being safe and happy is more important to me."

"Raven…"

"Come on, let's go. I'm freezing my ass off."

* * *

They settled in Raven's car, warming up thanks to the heat. Raven drove slowly, giving Clarke ample time to calm down. In the small space and in the dark, Clarke felt like she could finally confess what she'd kept from everyone.

"I had a vision," she said.

Raven's eyes widened. "What? When? At the bar?"

"No, weeks ago."

Raven quickly glanced at her. "Shit, Clarke. I mean- congrats! Why didn't you say so earlier? You know we've been rooting for you."

Clarke paused, her cheeks feeling hot. "I didn't know how to… It was, um… sexual."

Raven snorted. "Well, you know I saw Wells' bare ass in the shower asking me to move in with him."

Clarke laughed despite how heavy the moment felt. "Yeah, but this wasn't like that. The way she held me-"

"She?" Raven asked, and then, "Oh. Same woman from the bar, right?"

"How do you know?"

“No offense, but this is the first time I’ve seen you this worked up about someone, and I was there during the Finn era.”

“Seven months aren’t an era,” Clarke argued.

"But it was her, wasn't it?"

Clarke refused to replay her vision again. "I don't know anymore. I thought it might be, but she's so… she's just not who I thought."

"Then forget about who it was. Just take it as a wakeup call."

Clarke looked at her. "Wakeup from that?"

Raven hesitated. "Clarke… don't you realize how hard it's been to hang out with you this past year?"

"I'm trying to run a business," Clarke defended.

"Wells runs it too. Are you saying he's slacking?"

"No, of course not. You know I couldn't do it without him."

"Right. But when Wells gets home, he leaves work at the door. We hang out or we go out, sometimes together, sometimes separately. He never misses a play and he rock climbs every chance he gets, even if just for an hour. The café means a lot to him, you know that, but it doesn't mean everything."

Clarke tried to imagine that for her. "Honestly that sounds exhausting. I can barely pick up my feet at the end of the day."

Raven bit her lip. "For a while he felt the same, but then he kinda realized he was making excuses."

Clarke frowned. "I go out."

"Do you? Or do you wait for people to either ask or drag you out?"

"It's just been busy with the holiday season," Clarke justified.

"Before that it was the college season and before that it was summer. Don't you have the budget to hire someone else at this point?"

Clarke sighed. "Wells talked about another full timer, and someone else on the weekends, but I haven’t really looked into it yet."

"Right. All I'm saying is it's not fun feeling like the bad guy for wanting to hang out with you."

"Do you really feel that way?"

"I feel like you've made your business your spouse, but a place can't be a home. So maybe seeing yourself bone a stranger is your body's way of saying it needs something a bit more exciting than cold sheets and a 5am wakeup for the rest of your life."

"You're as eloquent as ever, Rae."

Raven smiled as she turned into Clarke's street. "I'm a genius."

* * *

Clarke locked the door behind her and took off her coat, thinking about Raven’s words and the way the evening had panned out. The anger was snuffed out of her, replaced by exhaustion and a feeling of regret. She couldn’t believe she’d somehow given Lexa the power to upset her so thoroughly. That she’d believed for one second that Lexa might-

No, she wouldn’t replay each interaction again. She wouldn’t even think about her anymore. Clearly trying to cross the line between them had been a mistake. There was nothing to be gained from it. Lexa was only after stories - wanted secrets in exchange for dust, and Clarke never wanted to see her name in one of her pieces.

Raven was right: she’d focused too much on who had been in her vision rather than what it meant. She was lonely and she’d had a vivid fantasy - it was no more than that. People fantasized about strangers every day; about leading different lives with different people. The past year had seen her doing the same thing with the same people every day. It wasn’t strange that her subconscious would crave some excitement. She’d had such a fixed impression of Lexa; quiet, reserved, polite Lexa. Clarke could see why a part of her would find it thrilling to draw her out of her shell. To be the focus of Lexa’s razor-sharp attention and deft hands.

But her impression had been wrong. She’d acted on something that was never there in the first place. She'd let the vision influence her to the point of acting completely out of character. That was her mistake.

Clarke took off her heels and walked to the bathroom to wash up. She put her hair up, washed her face, put on her pajamas and slipped into bed with the covers up to her neck. All she had to do was sleep it off. Tomorrow she could put these past few weeks behind her. Move past the vision.

Lexa was never going to be a part of her life. She wasn’t a stranger or even a customer anymore. She wasn’t anything at all. Clarke turned around and buried her face in her pillow.

-

[part five]

[shortqueershakespeare]

bro... you just know imma have to ask for all the questions....

I hope you’re proud of my dedication (also thank you for doing this every time lol)

london: when you visit a city, do you take in the tourist points or the more unknown places?

I like to do both, but more unknown places are fun to either discover myself or be shown by someone who loves the city.

paris: where did you last fall in love?

In a bedroom in Cambridge I think.

berlin: do you find history or geography to be more interesting?

History, I love learning about history, but I didn’t study either at school - I now do some history.

amsterdam: would you drink in a room full of strangers?

That’s just freshers week in a nutshell so yes I did.

prague: rivers or forests?

Forests with lakes, although rivers really make me think of home - in my home city my grandma lives next to a river, as does my dad, at uni I live near a river and in Vienna I commute across the river which I love.

vienna: do you enjoy classic literature?

Yes, definitely, I actually read a lot of classics as a kid but I’ve been slacking lately.

barcelona: beaches or cities?

Cities

madrid: who did you last attend a party with?

I’m assuming it would’ve been with uni friends, or many a zoom party.

budapest: if you could do anything and not have to face the consequences, what would you do?

ooh shit that’s such a good question, right now it’d probably be punch/get rid of our incompetent government.

rome: ancient rome or ancient greece?

oooh i think i’d go with ancient greece although i can speak some latin so i’d maybe fare better in rome.

copenhagen: how many languages can you speak?

5, to varying degrees, english and german are my best, russian is prob still my worst because i haven’t practised in forever.

dublin: where was the last castle you visited?

Old Sarum 

stockholm: angst or fluff?

Fluff babyyyy

lisbon: if you had the chance to become a prince/princess, would you?

Hmmm I don’t think so, although the British monarchy have so much monarchy, maybe just to do good with that money.

athens: favourite greek myth?

Off the top of my head, Eurydice and Orpheus.

milan: what matters more: fashion or comfort?

Comfortttt

munich: why did you kiss the last person you did?

I’d broken up with someone not long before and he kissed me and took me by surprise, it was very sweet.

helsinki: when did you last visit a friend’s house?

Start of October I think, we don’t have bubbles in Austria but we made one with him so he wouldn’t be on his own.

reykjavik: do people usually have trouble pronouncing your name when you first meet?

Nope, they often spell it wrong though

florence: how did you discover your favourite artist’s work?

I really like Allie Brosh’s comics and books, my sister introduced me to her.

edinburgh: would you visit a dog park without a dog?

Probably yeah

oslo: what’s more important: work or love?

Love

venice: why did you last fall in love?

He provided me support when I really really needed it and made me feel valued.

glasgow: where were you going during your latest bus journey?

To work

liverpool: do you follow any sports?

I follow league one of British football for AFC wimbledon. I follow tennis sometimes too.

cologne: why did you last visit your grandparents?

To give my mum a break from looking after grandma.

moscow: would you rather perform in a circus or an opera?

Oh hell, probably an opera.

naples: if you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go and for how long?

Hmmm I’m gonna give a few answers - if there wasn’t the teeny problem of bigotry and safety I would love love love to go to Russia for like a month.

I also really want to go to Italy and Spain and the Scandinavian countries, so I’d like to do like a month or two of interrailing (which was my plan for March but obvs I can’t do that)

favourite

1 - season?

autumn

2 - classic film?

Men in black?? idk

3 - nostalgia-inducing possession?

my teddy bear - he’s called brownie and my sister got him for me when I was really little

4 - shade of green?

the dark bits of malachite

5 - gemstone?

amethyst

6 - hour of the night?

4-5am

7 - quote?

“The universe is seeming really huge right now. I need something to hold on to.” - We Were Liars (E. Lockhart)

8 - type of dream?

dreams about being in love

9 - happy song?

Candlelight - Relient K

10 - sad song?

Tobacco In My Sheets - Lauren Aquilina

11 - character from a book?

Ohh I really don’t know I’ll go with Andy Skampt from the Carls.

12 - creative medium?

Pen and paper for writing

13 - memory?

belly laughs around the table with my family 

14 - aspect of a person’s face?

smile or eyes

15 - decade before the 2020s?

2010s

16 - band?

Stornoway

17 - animated film/tv show?

moana

18 - constellation?

cassopeia

19 - poem?

A Thousand Mornings by Mary Oliver.

20 - album?

right now its Songs for the Drunk and Broken Hearted by Passenger

21 - ending in fictional media?

The ending to Crazy Ex Girlfriend.

22 - shade of blue?

maybe baby blue because its on the trans flag

23 - part of being alive?

love

24 - holiday?

last time I came to Vienna actually

25 - kind of candy?

flying saucers are a classic

26 - person you know?

I’m real homesick so my sister at the moment

27 - musical movie?

Rent

28 - superhero?

Spiderman

29 - book longer than 500 pages?

I think North Child is longer than 500 pages?

30 - book shorter than 300 pages?

We Were Liars

 marvel character asks

iron man: first superhero you ever liked?

spiderman

spiderman: do you believe in hometown pride?

not really 

black widow: would you rather be a secret agent for the heroes or the villains?

heroes

hulk: which approach to conflict do you prefer: analytical or physical?

analytical

thor: what’s your favourite kind of weather?

snow

captain america: how patriotic are you?

fuck not at all

black panther: what’s your favourite sci-fi movie?

the one i immediately thought of was I am Number Four.

ant-man: how tall are you?

something above 5′3″ but i genuinely don’t know

bucky barnes: do you have any hidden talents?

nope

captain marvel: on what topic do you and your parents most disagree?

how tidy my room should be kept

hawkeye: if you had to fight, what would be your weapon of choice?

something i can use at close quarters, maybe a knife

doctor strange: what’s an occurrence of everyday magic you’ve experienced?

Honestly some places and weather and animals are so magical

peter quill: is there anyone that underestimates you?

probably my flatmate

falcon: tell us your feelings on the armed forces.

oof that’s a rough one. My dad was in the army and definitely has ptsd from it. I don’t support the army at all but I do recognise that a lot of working class kids have few alternatives and are funnelled into that system.

gamora: if family and success were mutually exclusive, which would you choose?

family every time

nebula: do you believe a person can truly change?

yes

wanda: if you could have any superpower, what would you choose and why?

shapeshifting

deadpool: tell an offensive joke you feel bad for finding funny.

eh no thanks, i don’t really wanna put that energy out there rn

loki: greatest thing you’ve done on april fool’s day?

i mean probably something annoying to my sister when i was younger

venom: what non-mcu marvel character would you love to see in the mcu?

oh god i have no idea

nick fury: how do other people perceive you?

i hope as empathetic

thanos: do you believe in necessary sacrifices? give an example.

yes and no, not in terms of economy and shit, i don’t think people should ever be sacrificed for economic gain, but in terms of personal life i’ve sacrificed friendships to transition, and i’d do it again.

rocket: favourite non-domesticated animal?

tigerrrr

drax: would you rather fight with fists or knives?

fists

groot: how annoying were you five years ago?

i think i was growing out of my super annoying phase

[fanpom-imagines]

Imagine Daenerys trying to cool the tension between her, Sansa, and the reader. (Part 2)

Masterlist [Part 1] (Part 2) [Part 3] [Part 4]

Fandom: Game of Thrones

Words: 1966

Warnings: SPOILERS FOR SEASON 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gifs aren’t mine.

If you want to be tagged send me a message and I’ll add you

(Female Reader)

I walked down the hallway with Ser Robert Vadin by my side, on of my trusted knights, and came to a stop at the door that led to the library, I knocked on the door and heard a man’s voice yell, “Coming.” Right before it opened to reveal a plump man with dark hair and eyes as well as a beard covered his face, though he did not seem intimidating. He seemed more gentle of heart and not like a fighter at all.

“Oh hello, how can I help you two?” He asked curiously.

“May we come in?” I asked him giving him a gentle smile as I motioned with my head to the inside of the room.

“Oh, yes of course,” he replied opening the door wider and letting us in.

“Now what is it you have come here for?” He asked us once more.

“I was wondering if you could send a raven to my people back home,” I started off, “King Jon informed me that you were the man to ask.”

“Oh of course, Lady….” the man trailed off as he did not know my name, but I did not know his either.

“Excuse me, where are my manners. I am Queen (Y/N) Daraith of Ossēnagon, and this is one of my knights, Ser Robert Vadin,” I introduced us as Ser Robert bowed when I spoke his name.

The man’s eyes widened, “I did not mean any disrespect Your Grace I did not know.” He rushed out, but I just smiled at him fondly.

“No need for apologize. You’ve done nothing wrong,” I reassured the brunette which seemed to put his mind at ease as he let out a breath of relief.

“Thank you, Your Grace. I am Samwell Tarly.”

“It is a pleasure to meet you Samwell. Are you able to send a raven to Ossēnagon for me?” I asked him politely as I took out the rolled up letter with my houses sigil keeping it sealed.

“Yes of course,” he said taking the letter and bowing to me which I did to him in return.

“Thank you Samwell Tarly, we shall take our leave now.”

“You are welcome, Your Grace,” Samwell replied giving me a kind smile before returning to his work.

As Ser Robert and I made it down the hallway we saw the Queen heading our way with one of her knights, Ser Jorah Mormont, beside her.

Ser Robert and I bowed to her in greeting as did they, but neither one of us exchanged a word and kept our eye contact to a bare minimum before going our separate ways.

After a few hours of exploring Winterfell. Ser Vadin and I found ourselves in the courtyard of the castle. As the two of us made it out into the clearing of the courtyard I saw home much everyone seemed to put in effort. Men wore metal armor which covered them from head to toe, yet I felt pity for those who were old and seemed to care long and solemn faces that had years of history, stories and experience hidden behind them and for those who had not yet reached the age of a man and whose faces were young and fresh and had not one scar or wrinkle to show that they’ve fought or experienced the hardships or gifts of life.

“Queen (Y/N), may I have a word with you?” I heard a voice come from my right as we were making our way through the courtyard back to my chambers.

I looked over to the voice that had cut through my thoughts only to see that it was none other than Lady Sansa herself.

“Yes, of course you may, Lady Sansa.”

She lead us into a different part of the large castle that seemed to be vast and never ending with history laced between every crack on a wall. The castle seemed to have been rebuilt many times as I had noticed how some stones were more worn and seemed different from others, yet it makes sense since Winterfell has lived through many battles throughout the centuries since it was first built by Bran the Builder.

We made our way in front of two large doors. I had commanded Ser Vadin to stay by the door with one of Sansa’s men as the Lady of Winterfell and I made our way into the room.

She offered me to sit at one of the tables which I gladly accepted, and I waited for her to sit down before starting to speak.

“What is it that you need from me, Lady Sansa?” I ask her with a bit of curiosity lacing my voice.

“I just wanted to get to know you better and to speak with you in private,” she paused as she seemed to contemplate her next words. “You seem interesting to me, and just like you I have a sort of rivalry with the Queen. I was hoping to gain another friend during these dark times.”

“Seems fair enough to me,” I said not really knowing what else to add to the conversation till I remembered that there had been a meeting during the morning while I had still been cooped up in my chambers.

“What was the meeting about this morning, if I may ask that is?”

“You may ask, and to answer your question it had been about Jamie Lannister, the Kingslayer, and what we should do with him.”

“You mean the man who had killed King Aerys II?” I asked her curiously.

“Yes, that Kingslayer.” Sansa said nodding in conformation.

“I would love to meet the man who ended the Targaryen’s reign,” I huffed out a small laugh in amusement.

“You seem to harbor a lot of hatred for the Queen,” She said as she studied me as if trying to deduce the reason.

“You do to,” I told her as my mouth spread into a slight smirk which she also mirrored.

“It seems so, yet how come you do? Is it true that your people are dragon slayers?” The redhead's eyes grew in curiosity but I couldn’t blame her. I would’ve been curious about dragon slayers too if I had had one sitting right in front of me with thousands of questions storming around in my mind.

“My people were known for slaying and then taming ice dragons. Ice dragons are a close relative of the dragons that come from Old Valyria, but rather than breathing fire or having a variation of colors they breath hair that is so cold it is said it could freeze a man in half a heart beat; each and every dragon is also white scaled with blue eyes, but I have not seen any in my life time since the Targaryen’s had killed the last of them in The Dance of Dragons. Now the only things we have to remember them are songs, stories, paintings, and written documents. As a child my father would often read to me about these beautiful yet terrifying beasts and I would always day dream about riding one like my ancestors had. Though reality is often disappointing isn’t it?” I asked her with a slight sad smile.

“It sadly is, and I understand what you mean all too well, Your Grace.” She said as she laid her hand upon mine in comfort I was about to reply, but I was interrupted by the door opening with Queen Daenerys walking through.

“Hello, Lady Sansa,” She greeted Sansa then turned to me, “and hello to you too Queen (Y/N), I had not realized you were in here as well.”

“If you came here to talk with Lady Sansa I will leave if you wish,” I told her bowing to her in greeting as she did the same to me in response.

“I would be, ever so thankful,” Daenerys said thanking me though her smile was still tightly strained on her face. As if the mask of a smile started to become to hard to burden.

I bid farewell to Lady Sansa, by giving her a curt bow and walked past the Queen, but when our eyes met when I passed her they grew darker and gave off a cold gaze. I held back the urge to scoff at her and kept on walking forward without showing a sign of acknowledgment towards her presence. Before I left through the door though I heard her say: “I will be wanting to have a private discussion with you as well, Queen (Y/N).”

It wasn’t a question or a request, it was more of a warning as if I was some child that had gotten in trouble with their mother.

“Of course, Queen Daenerys,” I said not even looking back to her before walking out into the hallway and out to the courtyard with Ser Vadin alongside me. Him and I finally made it back to my chambers and I bid him farewell as he set to get ready for the battle that seemed to be coming nearer and nearer as the hours passed.

That self proclaimed “Queen”, knew exactly how to push my buttons. All my life I have been looked down upon people who thought they owned the world. Credit is never given to the ones due. Instead it is given to the richest and fairest. That is why I could not seem to like her. She thought that just by having the blood of a Targaryen that the Iron Throne was her right, yet the Targaryen’s had taken the lands she stands upon now by the First Men, who had taken it from the Children of the Forest. By Daenerys’ definition of right it should be Cersei’s. She was the King Robert Baratheon’s wife who had taken the throne from the Targaryen’s, and she was the mother of the two kings after King Robert. Yet none of these people seem to understand that the Iron Throne is just a one way ticket to death and grees. No one who has sat in that throne has died of old age. Though I respect Queen Daenerys to a fault, her greed for the Iron Throne seems to shadow over everything else.

A name or the blood that flows within our veins doesn’t make us good rulers. It is our choices and actions. If she doesn’t start to realize that she may be the end of us all.

I thought back to what Jon had said once about how it didn’t matter who holds what title when the White Walkers come it will all be for nothing, and now I understood what he had meant way more than in the moment he had spoken those words. I giggled at the memory of his dark brooding face and his low voice. I imagined myself imitating it which set me into another fit of giggles.

I thought for a moment on what I should do to pass the time as there have been no reasons to do much of anything. All I had was time, before the White Walkers came of course. I looked around the room and saw a bookshelf with seemingly interesting books. I curiously made my way to them and went through each one till I found one interesting enough to pass the time and sat down on the cushioned seat near the window in my room which sat in front of another armchair with a table off to the side of the both of them.

Within moments of sitting down and opening the book I had submerged myself within the plot line and it seemed as though the world went on without me for a time being as I just read on and on going from one page to the next.

Talglist:

@bee-wrecker @boogiebunnies @precious-bands-love @supernaturaltrashy @immortal-imagination @mikariell95 @saoirsewhittle @jinx-is-fire