#would probably choose only run over 1

[rainsleeper]

AS A FORM OF WELL DONE FOR MAKING AN INTRO POST

YOU GET AN ASK

(jk i will supply asks whenever)

HOW WOULD YOUR OCS SOLVE/ WORK WITH THE TROLLEY PROBLEM?!

i thought of this ask at 2 am last night when i was cleaning the blood from my palm if you know what i mean

Blow up the trolley

[littleslaywrites]

serendipity | spencer reid x reader 

summary: five times spencer doesn’t listen to the signs telling him to approach you + one time he does

word count: 4.7k

cw: f!reader, slow burn, fluff, 5+1, invisible string theory, a little bit of angst

1.

Three minutes. That’s how long Spencer has to get in his car and start driving to be at work on time. He calculated the time that morning, when he had woken up earlier than usual and decided on a whim to try the coffee shop that had just opened. 

He doesn’t know what makes him turn around. Maybe it was his training, forcing him to be aware of his surroundings at all times. Maybe it was your voice. “One iced mocha with an extra shot of espresso,” you say. Maybe it was fate. 

Whatever it was, it made him pause dumping the packet of sugar into his to-go cup and face the back of your head as you dug through your purse to find your wallet. He keeps his eyes trained on you, putting the lid back on the cup. 

When you turn, he forgets about the time he was wasting as he stops and stares. He forgets about how many sugars he’d used already. He even forgets his own name for a second. And he never forgets anything. 

But something about the way the morning sun brushes its golden touch across your face has him brainless. His thoughts only came back to him when your eyes flitted up and met his. 

In that moment, he wants to approach you, tell you that you might be the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen. Even more so when your lips pull into a tiny smile. He’d been a profiler long enough to know that the way your eyes ran from his was a sign that you were probably waiting for him to approach. 

Just when we goes to grab his cup and walk up to you, he catches a glimpse of his watch. Ten seconds. He’d run out of time. He considered his options, choosing timeliness over what he might have with you. 

You watch him leave, a little surprised. You were sure he was going to introduce himself. Brushing it off, you determine it’s not meant to be, a mantra you repeat every time something slips away from you.

Pulling into the parking garage, Spencer feels a pang of regret. He really didn’t need to be on time. Morgan had made a habit of being five minutes late. As long as there wasn’t an urgent case, he probably could’ve afforded the time it would take to get your number. 

Paperwork gives him a solace from his thoughts, distracting him as he gets lost in reports. He almost forgets you. Almost. 

2.

Two weeks later, Spencer is wandering the walls of books, looking for some new reading material. He’s finished everything he’d had in his apartment, and was now holding a stack that’d last at least five days. 

Scanning the shelves, he finds one that catches his eye. When he goes to reach up, his fingers brush against someone else’s hand. His immediate reaction is to fight a small freak-out, not wanting the stranger to contaminate him. 

Pulling his hand back, he looks over to see someone else doing the same. Not someone. You. 

He recognizes you instantly, memories of the café coming back to him. 

“Sorry,” you say, hand returning to clutch your own stack of books. 

He’s frozen in place. You’ve stunned him. Not because of the usual reasons of germs or stranger danger, but because it’s you. He realizes he’s frozen in place, which makes his internal panic worse. 

In the seconds where he’s staring, you realize where you’d seen him before. It was coffee shop boy, as you’d nicknamed him when you’d texted your friends about how you’d just seen the cutest boy at that new café down the road. 

Your heart skips a beat, and you try to fight off the blush you’re sure is currently invading your cheeks. 

Say something, you think, trying to fix the uncomfortable moment. 

“You’ve got good taste,” you force out, awkwardly trying to make some kind of conversation. 

Her eyes are prettier up close, he thinks, hand involuntarily clenching from the brief touch. 

He knows he should say something to you. He really does. It’s just that he can’t. He gives you a subtle nod, then escapes in between another aisle. He meant to find at least twice the amount of books he ended up with, but you had sent him into such a panic that he ended up checking out and walking out before he realized what he was doing. 

You were left slightly stunned by the interaction, partially confused by the way he hurried out. You chalked it up to him being some kind of introvert, not wanting to talk to you. You could only hope that he didn’t find you repulsive or something, mind going to the worse places. Just like in the coffee shop, you let it go, assuring yourself you’d see more cute boys in bookstores in the future. Hopefully some that had as good of a taste in books as coffee shop boy. 

Closing the door to his apartment behind him, Spencer realizes how he’s acting. He feels like a kid again, the same awkward schoolboy who was too young to be like the boys who had a girl on their arm as they walked through the halls. Setting the books down on his coffee table, he tries to not think about how he never truly learned to ask someone out. One day, he thinks, one day I’ll find the courage.

3.

Rain has pelted the ground all afternoon, defying the forecast that called for sunny skies. Spencer, in his usual preparedness, had brought an umbrella to work just in case. 

The past week, Prentiss told him about an exhibit in D.C. that she thought he’d want to see. It was a museum he frequented, so he set out on Friday afternoon to make a quick trip to the city. 

When he got on the metro, he pulled out a book to pass the time. He hardly looked up when he got lost in a book, only listening for the announcement that he’d reached his intended stop. 

Something drew his eyes up, though, just like the morning in the coffee shop. 

It was you again, this time soaking wet. You’d gotten caught in the rain, trusting the forecast. You just have to get home, you keep telling yourself as you shiver on the plastic seat. 

Sensing someone looking at you, you glance up. Spencer brings his eyes back to his book, looking but not reading. 

There he is again. Coffee shop boy. He doesn’t usually take this train, you think. Maybe that means something.

As soon as that thought crosses your mind, you remember the bookstore, the way he ran from you. Your friends had reassured you, telling you to stop catastrophizing. You hoped that he was simply antisocial, but part of you still was stuck on the possibility that he hated you for some reason, sent from universe to humble you.

So you don’t move closer to him. Besides, you could only imagine that you don’t look your best, already feeling the way your hair is frizzing up. 

Spencer’s heart is currently beating so hard that he thinks it’s trying to break out of his chest. Even after you’ve been caught in the rain, you’re stunning. He remembers the past two interactions, suddenly embarrassed by the way he acted. He couldn't just go up to you, especially after the way he ran at the bookstore. 

When he reaches his stop, you move to get up. Dread mixes with hope inside you both as you realize you’re walking out together. 

You keep trying to lose him, but your steps are sinking up. Climbing the stairs, you sigh at the sight of rain. 

Spencer thinks to offer you his umbrella, to walk you wherever you’re going. It’d make up for his other two mistakes, giving him an in to start a conversation with you. 

Approaching the mouth of the station, you can only hope your bag is watertight enough to keep your laptop dry. A more romantic part of you hopes coffee shop boy will stop you before you reach the end of the steps. 

Spencer hesitates, takes too long to decide if he’ll approach you, and you turn to walk the opposite direction before he can say a word. Opening the umbrella, he turns to watch you walk away, sympathy creeping in as you hug yourself in the cold. 

Cowardly. That’s the only word he can think of to describe his behavior. He’s embarrassed. It’s not gentlemanly, letting you walk away in the rain when offering the umbrella would’ve been easy. 

When he makes it to the museum, he’s hardly in the mood to enjoy the exhibit. This time, he can’t seem to push you out of his mind. 

4.

Fall turned to winter quickly, the rain turning to snow. Spencer was thankful, since he thought of you every time it rained. He thought of the way you shivered down the street, alone as the droplets accosted your beautiful face. He thought of the way he acted, not even telling his mother that he’d seen you again. He’d written about you the first two times, but couldn’t bear to describe your third meeting. He knew all too well that his mother would have something to say about his lack of courage. 

He was a worrier, the incident in the rain being no exception. His imagination even went so far as to picture you getting deathly ill from the cold, Pride and Prejudice style. 

He pictured walking you home. Maybe you’d invite him inside, offering a cup of coffee to warm both of you up. Then he pictured you alone, stepping into your apartment in your damp clothes. He wished the former was the reality.

Spencer changed his routine, something he usually despised, simply to wake up earlier to get a morning coffee in hopes of seeing you there. This incited comments from the team, telling him the office coffee couldn’t be so bad that he needed to stop somewhere before work. 

“It’s just a way to clear my head,” he said. 

“Sure,” Morgan replied, knowing he’d been slightly distracted the first morning he’d visited the shop. 

After three weeks of frequenting the shop, he finally saw you again. He’d almost given up, assuming he’d never make it up to you. 

Walking out the door, the wind chill hits him, hands warmed by the coffee in this hand. He's looking down, studying the crunch of the snow under his boots. 

You’re late, usually grabbing your coffee much earlier. It reminds you of the first time you came to this shop. That reminds you of that boy you saw that day. And two other times. Heart leaping, you brush it off, mind focussed on getting in and out before traffic gets worse. 

The snow isn’t too bad, but the wind is stealing the feeling from your fingers. You reach into your bag, pulling out the pair of gloves you’d stashed inside on your way out the door. 

You regret looking down when you feel yourself run into someone walking the opposite way. The gloves fall from your hands, and you crouch to pick them up. 

Before you can grab them, the person you collided with is handing them to you. 

“Thank-“ you begin, words stolen by the realization that the person is no stranger. 

It’s him again, you think. Thankfully, you’re already flushed from the cold, protecting you from any outward reaction to him. 

It’s her again, Spencer thinks, holding the gloves out to you. He prays the trembles away as your hands brush against his. 

The image is comical, two people crouched in the middle of a busy sidewalk as it snows. You’re frozen, gloves in your hand but not pulling them away just yet. 

Realizing this is his chance, Spencer tries to think of something clever to say to you. Something Morgan would say. 

“It’s cold,” he says. 

Fuck. 

“Yeah,” you half speak, half giggle. 

Is that really the best you can do?

He releases the gloves as you both stand up. There’s a brief hesitation, eyes finding each other and smiles creep onto your faces. 

You’re still late, you realize, ending the moment. You look down simultaneously, walking past each other shyly. 

What the fuck, Spencer? he asks himself. He beats himself up all the way to Quantico, feeling like he blew what could be his final chance with you. 

You, on the other hand, are giddy. It was the most he’d ever said to you. Even when your boss gives you a talking to for your tardiness, you're fighting a smile. Coffee shop boy didn’t hate you, not at all. He was awkward, sure, but he didn’t hate you. That’s all you could ask for. 

5.

Spencer tried the café for about two weeks after your encounter, but gave up when you didn’t return, even after he waited three minutes past his usual allotted time. 

The team was at dinner after returning from a particularly exhausting case. At least Spencer’s mind had something else to focus on. With time, he’d forget you. At least as much as Spencer Reid could forget a person. 

You walked into the restaurant, two of your girlfriends in tow. One of them recounted the tale of her last date, a story juicy enough to require a sit-down meal for the official debrief. 

As the host is walking you to your table, you stop in your tracks when you see him. 

“Don’t look now,” you whisper, “but that’s coffee shop boy at that big table.”

“You’re joking,” one of your friends says.

“Which one,” the other whispers.

“The one with the glasses,” you say as you all slowly walk by, slow enough to look but fast enough to not arouse suspicion. 

“Oh, the nerd?” your friend asks, causing you all to break into laughter as you scurry away to catch up with the host. 

The sound draws Spencer’s attention, and he looks up to see you again. He looks down quickly, more than aware that he’s surrounded by profilers. Unfortunately, he’s caught by Morgan, because of course he is. 

“You recognize her?” he teases.

“No,” Spencer murmurs. 

“Then maybe I’ll introduce myself,” he kids, and Spencer forces a half chuckle. 

He wills himself to not think about you, wanting to avoid any more commotion. He distracts himself with the team’s conversations, reminding himself that he’s made it this far without another person. Even if he feels something that’s a hybrid of regret and jealousy when his coworkers talk about their own pursuits. 

At the end of the meal, the waiter brings fortune cookies for the table. Cracking it open, Spencer reads the tiny words on the paper:

“Fate gives you the ink, but you are the one who decides what to write."

Something in his mind clicks. He has to find you. He can’t let you go. There has to be a reason that you kept running into him. 

“I’ll be right back,” he says, wandering toward where the host was leading you. 

He looks for you, but it’s hopeless. You must’ve slipped out when he was distracted. He curses himself. You’ve escaped again, a result of Spencer’s inability to approach you. Part of him wants to run after you, follow every street until he finds you. But he knows the table is waiting for him. So he goes back to sit down, and pays his bill. 

That night, he goes home to his empty apartment. The silence he always enjoyed is suddenly deafening. Five chances, and he blew all of them. 

Spencer has learned to deal with disappointment. He’d learn to love the loneliness, filling his mind with knowledge, one part of him that he could keep from being empty. The emptiness always found him, though. It found him when his father left, when those kids tied him up on the football field, when the nightmares started and he’d wake up alone and afraid. And it found him tonight, when the weight of his lack of courage sank in. 

Your friends drove you home, and you let them take the front seat while you sat in the back. As they talked, you felt the weight of the empty seat next to you. The two of them entertained you with their stories of romance, but it was just that— entertainment. Hell, one of them was engaged, and you hadn’t had a date since you’d moved to D.C. Maybe that’s why you were so stuck on coffee shop boy, the brush of his hands being the most romantic touch you’d felt for a while. 

Suddenly, you were annoyed. Annoyed at the way your friends acted when you told them about a cute boy, excitement that you even had the semblance of a chance, a fraction of what came so easily to them. You were annoyed at yourself, alone on a Friday night in a city full of people. You were annoyed at the way coffee shop boy ignored you, meeting multiple times with less than ten words between spoken. 

For all you knew, he had a girlfriend, a fiancée. Maybe that’s why he avoided you. 

When your friends dropped you off at your apartment, they waited for you to get inside the doors. Nobody would be waiting inside for you. You imagined how it must feel to have a smiling face to greet you. In your fantasy, it was coffee shop boy, his brown eyes looking at you for as long as you wanted him to, his hand finding yours without pulling away. 

Your bed felt a little colder that night. The universe could send you the same man five times, and you’d still end up without knowing as much as his name. You wondered where he was now, probably with the blonde he was laughing with when you were leaving the restaurant. It’s not meant to be, you repeat, not fully believing it, but letting the phrase lull you to sleep, anyway. 

+1

Another Valentine’s Day approached quickly, and you knew that it would likely be spent alone. Not alone, exactly, as you would be spending it at your best friend’s wedding in another state. You’d tried to find a plus one, scouring dating apps for any eligible bachelor that’d make you look less lonely at the ceremony. It proved futile, so here you were, alone in your hotel room. 

You slipped on the mini dress, a matching color as the rest of the bridesmaids. Your best friend had chosen a bar for her bachelorette. All of you were unfamiliar with the area, making you feel a little uneasy, especially since there had been a series of murders in the area that had brought the FBI in to investigate. Luckily, they’d reported that night that the suspect was in custody, so the night out was still on. 

When you walk into the bar, you know right away that it wasn’t your scene. It was loud, hectic, and slightly overwhelming, but you sucked it up for your friend’s sake. This was her night, so nothing would stop you from celebrating her. 

Looking around, you find the bar is mostly filled with middle aged men who are unsuccessfully flirting with the younger girls. You probably should’ve known that this wasn’t the night you’d end up meeting anyone worthwhile. It didn’t really matter, though, as your friends are quickly on the dance floor.

Spencer didn’t necessarily love when the team went out to bars after a case was solved. It wasn’t his scene, loud music and unruly patrons. He could get over it, as long as it meant spending time with his friends. 

It was windy that night, causing the jet to be delayed. Emily had been the one to suggest going out instead of sitting around on the tarmac. Everyone was at a table in the corner of the closest bar they'd found on Google maps. Spencer was observing the people around, one particular group catching his eye. On the dance floor, he saw flashes of a sash that said “Bride to Be”. He wasn't sure what about the group caught his attention, but he found himself looking up every now and then to see if the girls had escaped the dancing crowd to somewhere more open. 

As his coworkers complained about the delay, Spencer realized that it was February 13th. He’d never had a Valentine before, unless you counted his mother and the candy hearts she’d buy for him every year. His friends had people to return to, people waiting when they got off the jet. He longed for a reason to complain about missing the holiday, but to Spencer, it would be just the same as any other day. 

After about half an hour of dancing, you slithered between the moving bodies to find the bar. You took a seat at one of the barstools, ordering your favorite drink to cool you off from the heat of the dance floor. 

Spencer sees your figure from behind, and knows right away who you are. For a second he doubts himself, not believing you were halfway across the country at the same time he was, but his memory had never failed him before. 

JJ sees his eyes following you, and asks “Do you know her?”

“Yeah,” he says, standing up. “I do.”

He’d promised himself that, if he had another chance, he’d approach you. He knew he had to, regret tinting his memories. 

And here you were, in some small town, serendipitously in the same place once again. He couldn’t ignore it, determining it must be fate, an idea that went against his leanings toward practicality. 

He’d tried to explain it away with logical explanations. Even if it was coincidence, he thought the shared locations meant you were compatible. That’s why he was so bothered by the way you had disappeared that night in the restaurant. He’d finally had the courage to approach you, and you’d escaped. 

This time was different, though. You were firmly in place at the bar. This time, nobody would pull either of you away. Not on Spencer’s watch.

“Excuse me,” he said, taking the seat next to you. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to bother you-“ he stutters.

You’re shocked. Surely, your eyes are wide, and he can tell you know who he is. Trying to cover up the way your jaw dropped, you say “We’ve met before.”

“We have,” he says. He’d planned what he’d say to you, thinking of every possible situation or smooth line that would win you over. “A few times, actually.”

“What are you doing all the way out here?” you ask, nervous at the amount of words you were exchanging. Coffee shop boy had been on your mind for six months now, and here he was, sitting beside you. 

“Work,” he answers, causing you two to fall into a silence. It’s not awkward, the way you look at each other. It’s more of a studied silence, ensuring your eyes weren’t deceiving you. 

Spencer is the one to break the silence. “I meant to approach you earlier, it’s just that I’m…”

“An introvert?” you finish his sentence for him. 

“Yeah, I guess. I tried to find you the last time I saw you, in that restaurant, but you’d already left.”

“You tried to find me?” His confession takes you by surprise. “Honestly, I thought you hated me.”

“Of course not,” he says quickly. “I just get…. nervous. 

“Yeah, I gathered that.” You giggle together. “Maybe this is weird, but I feel like I know you already.”

“You kind of do. You’ve seen me in five other places already. You could put together my routine if you really wanted to.”

Another quiet moment overtakes you. It’s comfortable, like two friends who know each other well enough to not need words. 

“I’m here with my friends,” you explain, wanting him to know everything about you. “It’s her bachelorette party.”

“That’s more fun than my reason,” he says, glancing back towards his coworkers. 

He explains his job, then, taking you by surprise. He didn’t strike you as the fed kind of guy, considering you know him through bookstores and coffee shops. He tells you about how he ended up in his line of work, how he finished school at an age when you hadn’t even learned to drive. 

Then you explain your job. And your friends. And why you moved to D.C. And everything else you can think of. Before you know it, an hour has passed. Part of you feared that, in getting to know him, he’d lose his appeal. You’d constructed an image of him in your head, and you worried that it would be too high of an expectation for him to live up to. You were proven wrong. He exceeded the version of himself that had been created in your imagination. 

He’s taken out of the conversation only by Hotch's tap on his shoulder. “The plane should be taking off soon,” he says. He nods, making plans to meet you again when you return home. He writes down his number on a receipt, and you tuck it delicately in your pocket, afraid to lose it, to lose him again. 

“I forgot to ask,” you stop him before he can walk out. “What’s your name?”

“Spencer.”

And then he’s out the door. This time, his retreat doesn’t leave you with the same hurt it had the last five times. You feel fuzzy, warm, like you were right where you needed to be. 

Spencer, you think. No longer coffee shop boy, he now had a name, a story. You turn his name over in your head, and it rattles around like a weight and makes your mind hazy when you join your friends again. 

“Who was that?” 

“You’ll never believe this, but it was coffee shop boy,” you reply. 

“You’re kidding! What was he doing here?”

“Work.”

“Huh. Serendipity.”

Serendipity. Your friend threw the word out, speaking it lightly before going back to dancing. Yet, it stuck to you, grabbing on and not letting you go. 

You weren’t looking for Spencer any of the times you ran into him, yet he was there. A gift waiting on days where you were otherwise preoccupied. You put a hand in your pocket, feeling the paper with his number waiting for you on it. It was material evidence of the connection you had, a piece of him left behind until you met again. 

Spencer didn’t believe in fate. He hated when people said “everything happens for a reason”. It was the opposite of a comfort, and he refused to believe that the bad things in his life were destined for him. 

However, something about you had planted a seed of doubt, watering it every time he ran into you again. It blossomed tonight with the ease of your conversation. You felt good, you felt right, you felt fated. If there was a destiny for him, he was sure you were part of it. 

He could ignore his friends' teasing. Morgan asked him questions on the jet that he refused to answer. He pretended to be asleep, eyes closed as the vision of you overtook him. Someday, they’d find out about you. Your roots had intertwined with his already, locking your stories together. For now, though, you were his. His own personal offering from whomever sent you into his life. Even if he’d messed up the first few chances, you kept finding him, even where it was least expected. 

Serendipity, he thinks. Finding something good when you’re not looking for it. 

The definition swims in his head, still hazy from your encounter. He wasn’t looking for you that morning in the coffee shop, nor any other time. So he chose to believe it was fate. He allowed himself this one moment to ignore logic and everything he’d been taught. He allowed himself to suspend his disbelief and ride the flutters of his heart to you. 

There had to be a reason. A reason that you kept finding each other. A reason why your conversation flowed with such ease. And, without your knowing, you gave it the same word. Yours spoken by your friend, his from a memory of an old movie his mom used to watch. You were apart, as he sat on the jet and you danced with in the bar, but your minds synced up as you both thought the same thing: Serendipity.

[fishnapple]

Channelled message: Things they wish to tell you (lover/partner/future spouse)

This reading is about things that the person you have in mind wishes to tell you but find it hard to do so. I don't know why, but the tone of this reading sounded so angsty. I had to fought back the urge to comment on every sentence as I was typing.

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (Read this post : personal reading)

1. Amethyst

I feel like a kid whenever I'm near you. It's hard to hide, I feel so vulnerable. You stripped me of my armour. You made me afraid but I liked it. I want to tell you that you can strip whatever is left of me, and I will be willing to stand there and let you do it.

But before that, you have to catch me. I like the game of hide and seek, running and chasing. Every time I had to chase you, every time you had to chase me, it gave me the satisfaction that I'm not proud to tell you. Don't give me that look, you and I both know that whatever game we are playing, in the end, the loser gets to win, the winner gets to lose. You know you can catch me, because I let you.

I love whispering things into those pretty ears of yours. Feel them so close that my lips can almost touch your skin. Sometimes you will laugh, sometimes you will stay silent, your skin getting more red, sometimes you will turn around and let your lips touch mine. Your reactions are my goal and I'm an over-achiever.

Teetering between pure love and pure lust, what to choose? Sometimes we are so close to being enemies to each other, then we fall over into lovers. I don't know how we do it but I like to keep it a little ambiguous. The suspension, the uncertainty, those uncomfortable feelings make me feel alive.

Not to mention that people are so confused about us. I bet they can sense something between us, those flustered looks, those closer than necessary touches, those innocent exchanges. They can guess but they will never know the depth of our connection.

I actually love the feeling of sitting on the couch, waiting for you to come home to me. Once we've built our nest, I don't want to leave it. I don't want you to leave either. But I know your free spirit well enough not to tell you my wish. But you can't blame me if sometimes I use some "tactics" to entice you to stay with me. Hey, I can hear your snicker. You think someone like me saying this kind of thing is probably lying. Well, I do lie, but about the opposite thing, I lie to the world that I'm not a home-body, that my life is a constant motion, moving here and there, that I'm someone who always takes charge. My lies will be so convincing that they can even fool you. Yes, I know I like to change things, but look closer, you will find something that stays the same no matter what. I hope you won't give up finding it because I won't make it easy for you to find it. But I know you like a good challenge.

2. Rose quartz

I have so many things I wanted to tell you, but the moment those words arrived at the tip of my tongue, they took a U turn and went back. I don't know why I like to betray myself like that.

I would tell you how this ice cream tastes good, but all I could think about is your taste. I would tell you I like the feeling of warmth when sitting near the fire, but all I could feel is your heat. Same old stuff, same old stories, same old jokes, repeated again and again. What am I trying to hide? Why can't I just say what I want? What am I so afraid of?

I feel like a yellow rubber duck, floating forever on the surface, can't never get deep enough. Well, at least I get to be with you in the bathtub, not complaining. Here I go again, using light words to camouflage my feelings and desire for you. I don't want to be a tease, I want to be an arrow, striking its target at lightning speed.

Use your finger and sink this duck down into the water, and keep it that way. Hold me down, keep me still, until I'm drown in you.

Giving and taking, holding and embracing, I want it all, I don't want a single experience to slip through my fingers, I want to salvage everything, to savour slowly then to devour swiftly.

I want you to be the cold, harsh truth to my soft lies. The punishing force to my innocent crimes. But I also want you to be the embrace that I can fall into, the laughter I long to hear in my darkening days. Greedy, I know. And you can be greedy with me too. You ask and I will give.

Will you say no to my dreams, saying they're just pipe dreams, forever should be in the land of the unreal. Or will you say yes and applaud them? I know I can make them real, I know I can turn my thoughts into things that others can see and feel. I have faith. I just want you to have that same faith with me. Wouldn't it be nicer to have two who dream the same dreams? And nicer still when those two can create something together. I suggest a family, kids, pets, just a few examples.

I wish to take you everywhere, to meet everyone I know and everyone I haven't known. The feeling of a community, of connections always warm my heart. I hope you understand that. But it's okay if you don't, because there are probably lots of things I don't understand about you either. And let's keep it that way.

3. Tiger's eye

I have so many plans for our future. Since the first time when I met you, probably in some corners of my mind, I've been drawing up our plan together, our imaginary home, our imaginary kids, even our imaginary pets.

Talk to me, tell me your own delusions, give me more fuel, rile up my imagination. Delusions create the world. Or so they say, or so I say. Doesn't matter. Because I'm actually nurturing these delusions of mine into reality. Just so you wait and don't act surprised when they do come true. I have the divine on my side. You can't beat it, I can't beat it. And believe me, I've tried.

I've tried to go against the nudges, the little push behind my back so many times. It usually didn't end well. I still found myself in the exact place that I needed to be, whether I wanted to or not.

Please don't misunderstand, I'm not saying this to tell you that being with you is against my will or I want to fight back our connection. I just want to explain the way I do things in general. I do bizarre things, say bizarre things sometimes, a lot of times, actually. You would think these are all jokes. They are. When you're viewed as a weirdo, it actually gives you lots of freedom to do things your way without people exclaiming disappointment or shock. What's there to be shocked and disappointed if they already viewed you as someone capable of everything, even unhinged things. This is the way I deal with the world. Quickly, so they will be out of my sight and let me focus on other important things.

For example, you, the sight of you, up close, inching ever closer, faraway, walking away but never be out of my sight. Curate an art exhibition for me. With pieces of art showing your myriad expression and sounds. Showing you in different clothes or without. I'd love to just stand there to watch and listen. Then, when I'm brave enough, I will be an art thief.

4. Carnelian

Let me tell you upfront, I'm not the kind to forgive easily. And I know with each pain I'm getting, I'm also dissing out more pain towards others and myself.

I get easily obsessed about everything, good or bad, mostly bad things. They've burnt a piece of me. I've been betrayed in the past. So many betrayals that made me angry towards the world, towards myself. I just wanted to go away. No, not to hide, but to gather my strength again and come back and confront. I used to be the one that is caught in other's claws, now I know how to catch them in my claws.

But this kind of behaviour ruined my soul. I want to sweep away all these pains and anger, to lighten my existence. It's almost a wish that I've been keeping to myself for all this time. And now you know about it too. And I'm glad that you can help me make it come true. Pull me out of this destructive cycle. Help me breathe and look for the light.

I say hurtful things sometimes, you probably will fall victim to that some day and I want to ask for your forgiveness beforehand. I let my pride get in my way a lot of times. To prove my point, to prove my worth, to prove that I'm strong, that you can't hurt me. But you can, you just choose not to. I know I'm at your mercy. This makes me uncomfortable, but it's actually not so bad. I'm getting used to it. Thanks to your humour and gentle touches. For every hurtful word of mine, you replaced it with your kiss. If I ask you to cry for my pain, will you do it, in my stead?

You sure know how to tame me, or just anyone ever met you feel the same way? Stop, I won't let myself go into that direction of thinking. Let's just focus on us. Teach me how to dismantle someone's defence like you did to me, step by step. Just so I can understand what's being done to me. I want to know everything, grab everything in my hands to understand it.

Don't worry, I won't do it to you, because you will come to me defenceless. Is that how you will win? Will I take all I can and leave you with nothing, or will I give you all and be a part of it? You decide.

Note: I usually pull one oracle card to read their energy better. With this group, three cards wanted to come out. I looked at the cards, the fish, the bear and the scorpion, then tried to put them back because that's too many. Right at the moment I put them back into the deck, I felt a sharp pain in my rib-cage for a split second, so I decided to put the three cards down and read them for this group. And guess what, a part of the stone layout does resemble the scorpion's tail.

5. Aventurine

I'm putting my best behaviour for the world to see, for you to see too. In this world of everyone fighting to get to the top, I just want to honour a softer energy. To nurture and harmonise everything, everyone. But I pursue that desire with the mentality of a soldier, a worker, diligently getting closer to my goal every day. I don't know how to do this, to be honest, I'm properly doing it wrong. Shall I just agree with everything to keep the peace, or shall I fight back?. Is it possible to honour something that I don't understand?

I have a dilemma of being a little people-pleasing. I like to hide and push my individuality to the back. Let my own compass take a back seat while letting others dictate what's good for me. I can't deny that a part of me wish for this. To let others lead me and I will do what was told. And I just want to trust you with that responsibility, putting myself into your hands.

The only thing I want to control is how I do things, those small details to get the job done. I guess I'm just overwhelmed by the large responsibility of life that I fuss about the details. When can I stop putting my mental energy into banal things and think about the bigger picture? Will I ever meet my calling, my destination?

But good news, I'm learning. Those days that I hid in my house, alone, probably did me some good. I'm learning to be with myself. So that I can be with others. You will get an early access, of course, with special service.

I'm glad that I can feel safe with you, enough to whisper in low voice about my spiritual belief. It's always there, with me, protecting me. The last thing I want is to be called strange. Especially from you, and lucky for me, you won't. You will never do that to me, that's your kindness. To other people, they can see me getting upset at our carpet being spoiled by coffee. They probably will think that I was upset because of the cost of getting it cleaned, the ruined aesthetic. But to you, you will understand the reason immediately. You will know that I believe a spirit lives in that carpet and spilling the coffee will hurt them. Keep it a secret for me, okay? Pinky promise.

6. Prehnite

The first time that we met wasn't the first time I saw you. I had seen you ways before that. I just needed time to build my strategy, to infiltrate into your life as smoothly as possible.

I was patient, time was on my side. There is no need to rush. You had your guard up and I didn't want to scare you away. Heck, I sound like a predator, circling its prey. Or maybe I was? You tell me.

But I do know that you didn't make it easy for me to approach you. I have to confess, I almost gave up. I have a habit of letting go too early. A sign of things derailing, then I will be up and going. I couldn't be bogged down by anything, or so I thought. Love was never the end goal for me. It was just a side effect. Even lust had not much meaning to me. I just sped up ahead, leaving them behind. I was pursuing total freedom. I viewed everything as an object to be studied, to extract information from, to help build my personal library. I basically lived in my head.

What's mysterious force that kept my patient in pursuing you, I don't know. Maybe you are the biggest mystery that I've yet to solve. And that thought was the beginning of my demise. At least, my old self's demise. I'm enjoying myself right now, with you.

But you also didn't make it easier when we're together. What are you? Divine punishment? It's not like I have the option to pack by bags and go back to my old way again. I've already burned the bridge leading to it. No coming back now.

You push me to the edge, and I will pull your hand with me. Let's fall together then soaring up again. When our wings are tired and broken, plunge me back to the depth, and I will show you how enticing it is to be with me down below. You're afraid, but you're also brave. I won't do something that I know you can't do or don't want to do. That's our unspoken oath.

[cringe--is--dead]

𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕪 𝔻𝕠 𝕎𝕙𝕖𝕟 𝕐𝕠𝕦’𝕣𝕖 𝕊𝕚𝕔𝕜

Incl. Umemiya, Hiragi, Tsubakino, Choji, Togame

Umemiya

Having grown up in a group home, Umemiya knows how to be the best care giver ever

That being said: he’s also insanely clingy and affectionate on his worst days

He’s attentive to a T

With Kotoha’s help he’s bringing you homemade soup, full of fresh veggies from his garden

He’s making you tea and keeping water bottles near by whenever you even mention wanting a drink

Sends his four kings out to watch over while he’s with you because he refuses to leave your side until your healthy— doesn’t matter if it’s a cold or the flu

Still cuddles with you, despite you telling him he’ll get sick— he tells you his love and affection will make you feel better

Whenever your fever spikes he’s quickly getting a wet cloth, laying it on your forehead and humming a wordless tune or telling you stories softly

He’s there to wake you up whenever you have fever induced nightmares, and holds your hair back if you rush to the bathroom to be sick

If you even feel the tiniest bit insecure because you feel gross and greasy he shuts that down: by telling you:

“In sickness and in health!” “That’s— those are wedding vows?” “Ha, yeah! But think of them as…pre-engagement, pre-wedding vows now! Hey— your face is all red, did your fever spike again?”

If you’re far enough into your relationship he’ll help you bathe: his hands are gentle as he washes your hair, no wandering touches as he helps you clean your body

He’s so soft you nearly fall asleep in the water, lulled into a serene peace by his soft voice and gentle touches

He combs your hair once it’s dry enough, braiding it to keep it out of your face and wrapping you your freshly washed sheets you have no idea when he had time to clean

Overall; 11/10 to take care of you when you’re sick

Even if he does end up getting sick himself after

Hiragi

You probably got sick after he warned you to bring your coat with you or not to stay up too late let’s be real

Dad sighs and twitching eyes

But he’s buying all the best meds and electrolyte drinks

I personally believe this man knows how to cook so he’s making you homemade soup, congee and other things his mom used to make him when he was sick

Brings a type of lemon “candy” that helps with your throat, knows they work because he keeps them on him in case Kaji needs them

He stays with you, but he gives you space

1. Because he needs to make sure he doesn’t get sick— he has to take care of you firstly, and secondly he cannot let Umemeiya free of him for too long

2. Because he knows you’ll want space occasionally; to sleep, to rest, to regenerate your social battery

While you nap he’s cleaning around; washing and folding clothes, doing dishes, organizing your mail— he’s completely husband material

When you want him near he’ll have you lay your head on his lap, and he’ll run his fingers through your hair and read to you— literally any book you choose he’ll read without hesitation

He’ll be so attentive and supportive when you’re sick, and he makes sure to continue to give you vitamins even after to help you avoid being sick again

But even when you are he’ll be there again

15/10 he’s just so HUSBAND MATERIAL

Tsubakino

LOOK

if there’s one thing anyone knows about me it’s I am a Tsubaki stan first and a human second

that being said

I imagine him taking care of you being sick is, while sweet, also a bit panicky

I imagine he has this weirdly insane immune system so he’s hardly ever gotten sick, and he’s also an only child so this isn’t super familiar territory

but he tries

does so much research he might go a bit overboard

“My darling! I got cough medicine, fever reducers, cooling masks, some cough drops Hiragi suggested! I got some water bottles and Suo-chan suggested different teas— I wasn’t sure which one would be best so I got all six! Nirei-chan said to get electrolytes so I got different flavors of those! And Kotoha-chan made soup! And congee! And I can order more, in fact I have a few different soups on the way!”

he just hates seeing you feel so bad

he’s a ball of nerves around you, always checking in on you and asking what you want, what you need, what you’d like

you can’t even be annoyed he’s so sweet

he helps you bathe, much like Umemiya, he’s sweet and attentive

he brings over his own stuff too; bathbombs, shower steamers, hair masks, face masks

he can’t make the illness disappear but you’ll at least feel clean and good on the outside

he takes his time with your hair and face, and he’s basically your personal masseuse in the bath

you’re never felt so relaxed despite being as sick as a dog

even though you’re sick he’s still quick to press kisses to your cheeks and forehead, face red from fever, embarrassment, and lipstick stains now

paints your nails while you rest with a cold press on your head, tells you about the latest debacle between Umemeiya and Hiragi and Sugishita and Sakura

by a miracle he doesn’t get sick

and he stores all the leftover meds and electrolytes (there’s a lot) between your place and his so he’s prepared next time

overall: 1000000/10

realistically: 10/10 (but always 100000/10 in my eyes)

Choji

oh boy

o h b o y

let it be known you try to hide the fact you’re sick from him for as long as possible

read: you fail

he’s showing up at like 7am, waking you up and charging in

did he bring anything?

of course

he’s brought snacks

not healthy ones

you’re not hungry because you’re nauseous, so he just stores them in your fridge and comes to cuddle you

he’ll wait on your every command don’t get me wrong

want water? he’s grabbing you a glass

need to go to the bathroom? he’s helping you up and walking you there, waiting outside the door and helping you back

bored? he’ll tell you all the thoughts in his head! and there’s a lot!

hungry? he’s grabbing those snacks for you!

he’s attentive and sweet, but he definitely is spoiled by Togame so much he’s not entirely sure how to take care of a sick person

but he’s strong so he’ll just beat your illness for you!

he’ll hold you while you rest, turn your fan on when you say you’re hot, turn it off when you’re cold

he tries to braid your hair while you rest, it’s messy but he tried

he ends up getting sick before you’re even better yourself

now Togame is tasked with coming to your place and taking care of both of you

overall: 7/10

he tries he really does

but he charges in with no instructions and just love

which is great but doesn’t treat the flu

Togame

he probably has taken care of an ill choji (^) so he knows what he’s doing

the patience of a saint holy—

he comes to see you when you’re asleep, and he’s silent as he unpacks stuff from the nearby convention store

you wake up startled at him just chilling, probably drinking a ramune and reading something

he keeps his voice soft as he asks if you’re hungry or thirsty

helps you sit up as he hands you a water bottle, and if your hands are too shaky he’d holding it for you to drink out of

he won’t even let you open your mouth to apologize before he’s giving you that stupidly soft smile and telling you he’s happy to take care of you

he keeps the curtains shut so the light in your room is dim, and he brings in candles with your favorite scent so the lights don’t hurt your eyes and the scent helps you feel calmer

not much of a cook himself when it comes to specific food to help you, but he grabbed take out on the way and heats up the perfect portions whenever you’re hungry

not too much so you leave food on the plate but not too little so you’re still hungry after

the man that he is

can definitely see him massaging your hands, your arms and your shoulders cause you’re tense from feeling ill

keeps a bucket or a bag nearby in case you get sick and can’t make it to the toilet

does a little braid to keep your hair out of your face, jokes about how he learned how to braid his hair so he’d he perfect at it for you

tries to brew you tea, and either burns it or under-steeps it

you both opt for just water for the time being

doesn’t get sick, but definitely sleeps for an entire day after you’re healthy

you both do actually— a long sleep cuddled up together

overall; 13/15 i think i made myself fall more in love with him

[idleoblivion]

"Shopping Spree" Crewel x GN Reader

Synopsis: Your professor finally takes you on that shopping trip he promised, and you get more than just new clothes.

Part 1 Part 3

Word Count: ~2k

A/N: I can't explain why I am so down bad for this man but here I am with more smut of him. Let me know if I should make a part three, cause I'm definitely considering.

Warnings: Teacher/student relationship, gn reader, shy/nervous reader, semi-public sex, dirty talk, overuse of the word 'puppy', oral sex (m!receiving), masturbation, praise kink

You sat completely rigid in the leather seat of his red sports car. You shifted a bit, not uncomfortable from the seat but from this trip already being such a large departure from what you’re used to. A part of you felt like you were sullying the whole car by even being inside it, looking very pedestrian compared to the driver next to you.

Crewel clearly preferred to dress formal and polished even on his days off. Over his outfit he still wore his signature coat, fluffy and luxurious as ever. When he picked you up, he had laid out the plans he had for you today. He was taking you to a luxury shopping mall, where you could buy almost anything you wanted. The only condition was that every outfit you tried on you had to show him for approval. His justification was that he couldn’t let you walk out of the store with something that didn’t flatter you..

“If you’re going to be my puppy, you’re going to have to dress the part.” He had said to you earlier.

He pulls into the parking lot and you’re immediately struck by the grandeur of the building. It looked even larger than the malls you were used to, and even from outside it radiated an air of expensiveness.

He opens the door for you once the car is parked, and puts his hand on your lower back as you walk beside him. He guides you towards the entrance of the mall and you step in together.

The inside of the mall was incredibly intimidating. Every store in sight has windows filled with products you couldn’t dream of affording. You repeat a question you had earlier to him, with newfound concern at your surroundings.

“You’re really sure I can get clothes here? I would’ve been happy with a regular mall too.” He tsks at you, “Yes, I am sure. In fact I insist, because I won’t have a puppy of mine running around in clothes unbefitting of them. And there will be no talk of the price either, that isn’t for you to worry about. No more yipping, follow me. We’ll try on some things in here first.” He pulls you into what would be the first of many stores, and you start browsing their selection with him.

---

You had been shopping for more than three hours now, and you were a bit overwhelmed with everything you had gotten. You left every store he brought you to with at least one bag of new clothes, which he carried for you. 

True to his word, he made you show him every outfit you wanted to buy. Almost all of them he approved, sometimes adding something or taking just one thing away, but he hadn’t outright refused anything you picked out. What caught you a bit off guard were all the outfits he picked. You knew he’d probably be giving you suggestions, but weren’t expecting him to pick whole ensembles that he demanded you try on. They were all very much his aesthetic, elegant black and white pieces with an occasional hint of red. He looked extra pleased after you would try those on, and ended up buying every single item he had picked out for you. It wasn’t a big deal, if letting him choose some things for you was the price for a whole new wardrobe, you didn’t mind at all.

You were finally at what he promised would be the last store. You actually didn’t see much that you liked, but he had found a few things he wanted to see you in again. The salesperson brought you both to a fitting room in the back and left you there. The room was decently large, with a few different places to hang your clothes and a stool. You resumed the pattern you had both established; He would hand you an outfit, you’d show him and he'd give his judgment, he'd hand you another, rinse and repeat until he was satisfied. 

You stepped out of the room to show him the latest choice. He pondered for a second before giving his thoughts.

“Hmm…It fits your body very nicely, and the colors look great on you. Yes, we’ll get this one too.”

You smile at his compliments. You go to reach for the next outfit he has in his hand, but he doesn’t give it to you. He steps past you and makes his way towards the fitting room.

“Um…what are you doing?” “I’m coming in with you. This one has clasps in the back you’ll probably need help with.” He pushes through the door and waits for you to follow. You hesitate, but after a pause you enter anyway.

He stands to the side and starts preparing the outfit for you. You wait for him to turn or face away from you, but instead he looks right at you expectantly.

“Well?”

Realizing what he means, you slowly start undressing yourself. You feel his eyes staring holes into you the entire time, watching every movement you made and looking your body up and down. Once you’re down to just your underwear, you nervously turn to face him again. You expect him to hand you the clothes to put on, only to find they’ve been unceremoniously tossed onto the stool. He steps toward you empty-handed, and you have to fight the urge to back up a little.

He places his hands on your sides and holds you in front of him. He leans down to kiss you, gently at first, but increasing in intensity very quickly. He bites your lip which makes you gasp, and uses the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. His hands start sliding lower down your body, and you push at his shoulder to get him to break the kiss. He pulls back, looking somewhat confused.

“W-we, we can’t…there’s people here, and the worker might-” “The worker won’t bother us in here, and the only other customers were all up front. If anyone came back here, we’d hear them. Nothing bad’s going to happen, puppy, not when you’re with me.” He presses his lips to your neck and starts sucking lightly, then moving to kiss along your collarbone. His hand trails upwards to fondle your chest, and the heat in your body becomes unignorable. You stifle a moan as he leans to flick his tongue over your nipple.

“Professor…” you whine meekly. The sheepish tone in your voice makes him groan.

“Do you have any idea,” He starts between hot kisses to your skin, “What you’ve been doing to me all day? Looking so cute in everything I put you in, being so good for me…”

He stands straight again and eyes you hungrily. “You like being good for me, don’t you puppy?”

You nod rapidly, but he shakes his head back. “Words, puppy.” “Yes professor, I like being good for you.” Your face is burning, but you make yourself say it anyway.

He reaches for his belt and starts undoing it. “Then get on your knees.” You obey and sink to your knees in front of him. He grabs your chin and tilts it up towards him, smirking at your doe-eyed expression.

“Keep your hands on the floor, no touching. Do you understand?”

“Yes, professor.”

“Good. Stick out your tongue.” He holds your chin still while you put your tongue out. He frees his cock from his pants with his other hand and taps it on your tongue a few times. You don’t break eye contact, knowing you’d probably be scolded if you did.

“Now open that sweet little mouth for me, puppy.”

Again, you obey, and he slowly puts his cock in your mouth. You suppress the urge to gag as it reaches into your throat slightly and he holds you there. He curses at the sight of you taking him in all the way.

“Fuck puppy, you’re good, so good for me. You’re gonna let me fuck that pretty face, right?”

You manage a small, choked “yes, professor” around his cock, which is all it takes for him to start fucking into your throat with fervor. Tears start welling up from his pace almost immediately. The fat tears rolling down your cheeks only make him rougher with you. You want to press your hands against his thighs, but you keep them on the ground like he instructed. He keeps praising you all through it, telling you how good you’re doing and how perfect you look like this. It makes you press your legs together and squirm a little on the floor, which doesn’t go unnoticed by him.

“Are you feeling needy, puppy?” He pants as he keeps thrusting into your mouth. “You can touch yourself if you need to, I give you permission.”

You take him up on that immediately, and reach down to play with yourself. The stimulation plus the almost feral look on his face has you moaning around his cock now, bringing him closer to the edge.

“Be good for me and swallow it puppy, and show me when you’re done. Fuck, that’s it puppy-” He continues to ramble as he approaches his high.

With a loud groan he finally cums in your mouth. He holds your head still while he does, and you do your best not to choke while you swallow everything he gives you. When he finally lets you go, you sputter for a second trying to catch your breath. Remembering his commands, you look back up at him and stick your tongue out again, showing you had left nothing.

“Good fucking puppy…” he pulls you up from the floor to kiss you again. He holds you close to him and you shakily grab him back. “Did so good for me, so good.” His praise again has you writhing in his grasp.

“Professor…” You start whining again with a slightly hoarse voice, “I-I, I need you…touch me, please?” “Hmm…no, I don’t think I will.” You look up at him wide-eyed. Was he seriously going to leave you so worked up like this? “B-but, you said I was good! I was good for you, right?”

He chuckles at your obvious desperation. “Yes, you were puppy. But I think we’ve spent too much time in this fitting room already. So we’ll pick up where we left off back at my house, alright?” That stops your thoughts in their tracks. “Your house?” “Did you think I was taking you back to that destitute dormitory of yours? Of course not, you’re spending the weekend with me and I’ll bring you back Monday. Plus there are a few…extra gifts I’d like to give you there.” His eyes turn a bit dangerous once again, and he smacks you lightly on the ass, making you yelp. He laughs and lets go of you, turning to exit the fitting room.

“Get changed, we’ll get something to eat and head there after.” Once he leaves, you stand still a bit in shock at your situation. The whole weekend, with him? If this is what he would do in a dressing room, what would he do when he had you alone at his place? The thought made heat start pooling in your stomach again.

Snapping out of it, you hurriedly get dressed again and make yourself presentable. You try to calm your nerves, reminding yourself that you still need to act natural while you’re at the register with him. After a few deep breaths and a final attempt to fix your hair, you meet him outside the room.

“Ready to go, puppy?”

“Yes, professor.”

[idkwhatimdoinghere1655]

So Special - Lando Norris

<word count - 5350> |part 1 - Nerd|part 2 - Rumours|

The weekend had gone by, and you and Lando had spent your time doing very different things. He had been productive, spending his two days in the garage with his dad, perfecting your DT project. He couldn't care less that you had told him not to finish it.

He had said he would do it, and now he was damned sure that it would be the best one in the class. Lando and his dad had come up with some genius ideas, even if it was only meant to be a simple little wood-work task. 

It would probably be quite obvious that you hadn't done it in the workshop, but Lando had a feeling that you wouldn't care. Also with the help of his dad, Lando had gotten his homework rattled out within an hour. 

It wasn't quite the same as having you there to help him through it, since your way of teaching him was a lot better than his dad's, but it was better than nothing, that was for sure. 

You, on the other hand, had spent your weekend holed up in your bedroom, not wanting to come out for anyone or anything. Your parents had offered to take you out to any restaurant of your choosing, go somewhere with your friends, anything. 

But, you had declined all of their suggestions. You simply didn't feel like going anywhere. All you could think about was how much you were dreading going to school on Monday, how much you didn't want to see anyone in any of your classes.

It genuinely seemed like your worst nightmare at the moment, but you still had to go in. The minutes ticked by slowly over the weekend, every single one heightening the anxiety of being back in school. 

The most likely scenario was that people would have forgotten it by now and moved onto something else, but the feeling that that wasn't the case was overwhelming, crippling and soul-destroying. 

Even doing your maths homework felt near on impossible. A task that would normally only take you a few minutes took you nearly 2 hours, since trying to work with the numbers made nervousness swirl in your stomach. 

The ever present thought was Lando. If anything, you figured he had it the worst out of all of this. His friends mocked and ridiculed him at any chance they got, he couldn't even get the bus anymore without throwing in the towel and getting off early, and you didn't want to be around him anymore. 

Guilt mixed into the cesspool of emotions that you were feeling, but the pure fear of being in school and getting the mick taken out of you overshadowed that. You just wanted to get your education and run as far away from that damned place as you could. 

Once Monday morning had rolled around, you reluctantly got onto the bus, not wanting to walk in the frosty weather. Lando's mum would've given you a ride, but you didn't want to be seen getting out of his car. Now that would be pure social suicide. 

On the bus, you saw that Lando wasn't there, which made things easier. But, you sure as hell weren't sitting at the back near his friends. You shuffled onto a seat next to some random kids in a year below you, but you'd much rather do that than be subjected to Lando's friends.

School was relatively empty when you got there, most people going to sit in the canteen before the bell went for their first lessons. You made a beeline to the lockers, hoping that no one would be there.

Thankfully, there wasn't a soul in sight as you quickly punched the code into Lando's locker. You knew the code since you'd had to leave his homework in there a few times in the past. You pulled his jumper out of your bag and stuffed it in. On the top, you placed a small note of gratitude, before closing the locker back up and going over to yours to put in some of your textbooks.

To your surprise, your locker wasn't empty like you thought it would be. Inside was a small, plastic bag. Just like you had put on Lando's jumper, whoever had been in your locker had put a note on top of it. 'I promised I'd get this finished, and I am a man of my word'. 

You knew that handwriting off by heart, since it was one you often plagiarised. Opening the bag, you saw your fully finished, absolutely faultless DT woodwork project. You were baffled by how clean the cuts and joints were, and it was surely going to get you the best mark you had ever gotten in DT. 

The first genuine smile that you had cracked in days grew across your face, truly touched by the gesture. You had told him not to bother, that you'd do it yourself, even if you really didn't want to. "I did it right, yeah?" a voice suddenly broke you out of your small bout of happiness.

Lando was leant against his locker, hands in his pockets as he looked at you. His face was tired, it didn't have the life to it as it used to. His eyes were equally as lethargic, no longer holding that cheeky spark that they always had. It was like the colour had dulled out, leaving them more greyed over than blue. 

"Yeah, you did. It's great, thanks," you mustered up a small smile, barely even a fraction of the one you had earlier. For some reason, your brain still couldn't make you look him in the eyes as you talked to him.

"Anytime," he replied, his gaze fixed on your side profile. He was thinking the same about your appearance too, your face had sunken and your eyes weren't as bright as he remembered them being. 

"I don't think anyone's going to say anything, you know..." he mumbled, half hoping you'd heard him, half hoping you hadn't. The words sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince you, since he wanted to believe that they were true. 

He didn't want to see you upset anymore, he didn't want to have to distance himself from you, he didn't want to have to change his entire routine. All he wanted was his life right back to the way it was. 

The life when you two were friends, where he'd get to spend time with you. The life where he got to be Lando Norris, the cocky little shit to the rest of the year, but a softie for you. The life where everything was perfect again. 

"I don't think it's that easy, Lando," you said, your eyes still glued to your feet as you avoided eye contact with him. Even the sound of his name on your lips made his heart flutter uncontrollably. He wanted to hear more of it, he wanted to hear it every goddamn day of his life if you'd let him.

"Please? Can we just... just try to ignore it and still be friends? I just want to be your friend again, I mi-" he started to plead, the desperation evident in his tone. His face fell as he was cut off, knowing that both of you were in deep shit before the day had even started. 

"You what, Lando? Bit of trouble in paradise for our most prolific love birds?" some random guy in your year interrupted him, standing beside Lando. He had never seen fear in a person's features like he did on yours in that very moment.

You didn't think you could handle hearing another word of it, so you dashed past the both of them and down the hall, trying not to let the tears fall down your cheeks. He hadn't even said anything overly hurtful, but the panic of what he could have said had set in.

"Not gonna run after your girlfriend, Lando?" he further teased, and Lando could feel his fists clenching at his sides, his knuckles turning white due to how hard he was holding them. He knew that a comment like that wouldn't have normally set you off, but it just showed how bad the situation had gotten. 

"Go fuck yourself," he spat, walking to the canteen and sitting down on a table away from his friends. They had seen him come in, but he didn't care. They were the last people he wanted to talk to. 

For the first time in his life, he was desperate to get to lessons and have some much wanted distraction from everything that was going on. As soon as the bell had gone, he jumped out of his seat and took the shortest route that he could think of to the science labs for biology. 

Not to his shock, you were already sat in your seat, hunched over your textbook and exercise book. Lando took his seat, a few down from yours on the long, wooden benches. The start of the lesson was silent to begin with, before you were all assigned to do some questions with the people sat around you.

Lando tried to keep focused on the questions, but he couldn't help but hear his own name coming from your side of the table. As he discretely watched from the side, he saw as your head snapped up to the girl next to you. Lilly. 

Goddamnit, of course it had to be Lilly. The one girl who Lando was for sure certain was desperate for him. "Sorry?" you said, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. You hadn't been listening to a word she was saying, so you had to do a double take now that she was suddenly talking about Lando. 

"You spent the weekend with Lando, no? Since he's your boyfriend and all, I assumed what I heard was true," she said, her voice laced with a sickly sweet venom. The jealousy she felt was obvious, and it did give you a slightly masochistic sense of satisfaction. 

"No," you curtly answered with a small shake of the head, before returning to answering the questions by yourself. Lando couldn't see Lilly's face since she was looking at you, with her blinding mop of bleached blonde hair being the only thing he could see. 

"What? So it's not true?" she pressed, clearly looking for a reaction that you weren't willing to give her. 

"No, no it's not," you declined again, your leg bouncing up and down nervously. Lando grinned to himself, proud of you for sticking up for yourself and not giving in. He just hoped you had the willpower to carry on being as strong as you were, since he knew how sensitive you were at the minute.

"So the two of you didn't spend this weekend, practically locked in his parent's house by the lake while the bed was creaking-" 

"Right that's enough." you said, your voice firm and leaving no room for disagreement. Lilly looked a tiny bit shook by your defiance, but Lando was sat there, wide-eyed. He never told anyone about the house by the lake apart from Max, and the likelihood of him telling Lilly of all people was slim to none. 

But he was more taken aback and impressed by your steadfastness. He had expected you to be in tears by this point, but it was a more than pleasant surprise. He still couldn't see Lilly's face, but he could imagine the annoying pout as her lips were pursed together.

"I don't know who you heard that from, but that is complete and utter bullshit. I spent my weekend at home. As for Lando? I couldn't really give a shit, but he wasn't with me. Much to your dismay, he wasn't with you either,"  you carried on, and your conversation had pricked up some of your class' listening ears. 

Lilly looked like you had just slapped her, her mouth agape and eyes wide as she looked at you. "I... you..." she stuttered, unsure of how to respond. As much as Lando was glad that you were sticking up for yourself, he was also feeling a slight stabbing pain in his chest. 

You 'couldn't really give a shit'. The worst part was that he couldn't tell if you meant it or not. He doubted that you did, but there was always the small question of what if? What if you had meant it?

If he was being honest, the thought of you not caring scared the life out of him. It wasn't something that he wanted to believe, not at all. He knew that the two of you weren't on the best terms, not by either of your faults but you still weren't friends, yet that didn't warrant you not caring at all, right?

The one person whose opinion he idolised, the one person who he wanted to see everyday, the one person who he could be himself around didn't care. It simply didn't register in his mind that that was even possible. 

By the time Lando had snapped out of his thoughts, the teacher had resumed his lesson and you and Lilly were sat in silence, a scowl still plastered on her face. The rest of the lesson wasn't focused on biology, at least not for Lando. 

Both of you left as quickly as you could and went to your favourite respective places to spend your break times. Lando didn't know where you'd be this time, since you moved just about every five minutes. 

He knew that your little outburst would get back to his friends by the end of the break, and he didn't want to be there when they inevitably found out. He couldn't figure out what they'd say to him or how they'd react, but he knew there would be more teasing. 

He was upset enough as it was, and he didn't need them to make it worse. Lando stayed away from the canteen, just aimlessly wandering through the near-empty halls. As he approached the lockers on his third lap of the school, his ears picked up the sounds of a familiar voice. 

"You think you're so special, don't you?" she said, and he could have sworn that all he could see was red. Lilly. And there was no doubts in his mind over who she was talking to.

"I bet you're loving all of this attention, aren't you? You probably started these rumours yourself, didn't you?" Lilly carried on, Lando staying behind the wall while he listened to her onslaught. He hadn't seen you, but he could picture the look on your face. 

"Why the hell would I make up such awful things about myself? I'm not an attention seeker like you, I don't want this happening," you retorted, a smirk growing on Lando's face as he heard you. He was glad you weren't running off and crying anymore, but he assumed you were bottling it all up as a way of coping. 

"Please, you're just annoyed that Lando would never actually date you, aren't you?" she said, and you were both gobsmacked. You knew that that was why she was getting pissy with you, but you didn't think she'd spell it out point blank. 

"What, like he'd date you either?" you shot back, stunning Lilly into silence. Initially, she was right to assume that her saying all of these things would reduce you to tears, but today you had built a shell around you - one that almost seemed impenetrable. 

But, hidden beneath the tough exterior and firm words, Lando could hear the faintest of a wobble in your voice. Lilly wouldn't pick up on it, but he had. Maybe it was just because he knew you so well already, or maybe it was just because he liked you so damn much that he noticed all of the tiniest little things about you. 

"Please, I think anyone would rather date me over you," she said after a few moments, the come back taking longer for her to think up than she would have liked.  You nearly laughed in her face, nearly told her what a massive bitch she was and how most people would rather be dead than date her. 

However, someone swooped in. "I know I wouldn't."

"Oh, hey Lando, we were just talking about you," Lilly instantly stepped in, her voice suddenly turning nauseatingly sacchariferous. She stepped closer to him, batting her false eyelashes at him as if it would put him under her spell. 

"Yeah, I heard." he said, his voice betraying none of his emotions. Lilly could tell that something was up with him, but she chose to ignore it and carry on trying to woo him. 

"I was just saying how-"

"I heard it. And I don't think you have any right to say any of that about Y/N. She is a much better person than you, and you're stupid to think she'd make those rumours about us. That's something you'd do. Also, I'll reiterate. I would rather date her than you any day of the week." he said, not missing a beat between sentences.

Lilly stayed quiet, that familiar scowl finding its place back on her face. "Fine, yeah, whatever," she scoffed, rolling her eyes as she stormed away from you. 

You let out a breath that you hadn't realised you had been holding, finally feeling the weight of the day pressing down on you. You had done so well to keep it all bottled up as you stood up for yourself, but now it felt like the adrenaline had worn off and your resolve was crumbling. 

Once she had gone, Lando turned to you and saw the tears in your eyes. "Hey, no, don't..." he softly said, approaching you. He was unsure whether he was allowed to hug you or touch you or if he was supposed to just leave you alone to cry. 

He contemplated it, but he couldn't force himself to walk away. You had let all of the fear and the upset of the weekend and the past couple of hours to build up, and now it was finally too heavy for you to hold up. 

"Can I... can I please just..." he started, not knowing how to ask the question. He didn't want to outright ask if he could hold you, but he didn't know what else to say. Instead, he hovered his arms awkwardly around you as if he was gesturing at hugging you. 

"Mhm," you hummed, your arms going around his neck as his wrapped around your waist. It was nice to be close to you again, to have you again. He also felt a rush of affection. He didn't know how long to hold the hug, how tightly to hold you, where to put his head. 

Did he rest it on top of yours? Bury it in the crook of your neck? Just... keep it there? 

Despite his inner turmoil, his instincts took his hand up the the back of your head, fingers tangling in the strands of hair. "Please don't cry, c'mon, it's OK," he mumbled, hating the way you shook with silent sobs in his arms. 

He knew you had kept your emotions all bundled up inside all day, but he couldn't handle you being so upset. "I'm sorry..." you mumbled, but he couldn't make out the words as they were muffled by his chest. 

"Hm? What did you say?" he gently asked, looking down at you as you looked up at him. It had just dawned on him how close you were, and how easy it would be just to lean down and kiss you like he- no, no. Not the time. Not yet, at least. 

"I said I'm sorry," you repeated, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. 

"Sorry for what?"

"I'm sorry for... avoiding you, not being your friend, being a complete and utter bitch to you, and-" you started to ramble, more tears falling from your eyes. 

"Hey, no, no, I won't hear it. None of this is your fault, absolutely none of it. OK?" he reassured you, needing you to know that you hadn't done anything wrong. All you did was nod, before hugging him tighter and resting your head back on his chest. 

His white button up was slightly see through with tears, but he'd be able to hide it with his blazer no problem. "Shh, please don't cry," he carried on trying to soothe you, his mind going through thousands of other things he wanted to say.

'You're too pretty to cry...' was the first thing that came to the forefront of his brain, but that was too much too soon. He felt your shudders against him stilling as you opted to just stand there in his embrace. He wasn't complaining, he would stay like that for as long as you'd let him.   

From down the hall, he could hear the faint pattering of footsteps. Lando didn't want to say anything, he just wanted to let them walk by and they'd likely ignore the two of you. Once you heard it too, you pushed back from him so that there was a sizeable gap between you both. 

He was disappointed, to say the least, but he understood your trepidation. It was a good job that you had stepped away, since the person that walked by was one of Lilly's friends. She was probably already floating around, spreading as many lies as her single-celled brain could muster. 

"I'll... see you later, yeah?" you weakly smiled, checking the time and seeing that it was nearly time for your next class. 

"Yeah, course. You getting the bus or do you need a ride?" he asked, confident that his mum would happily pick you up down the road and take you home. 

"A ride would be nice," you nodded, and he was slightly taken aback by the fact that you hadn't argued with him. You were as stubborn as the day was long, but he was happy you had relented  quickly on this occasion. 

"You just start walking home and we'll find you somewhere along the road," he told you and you nodded. 

"Sounds good," you lightly chuckled, the sound welcome to his ears. He hadn't heard any semblance of a laugh from you in nearly a week, and he was unbelievably grateful that he had gotten to hear it again. 

"See ya," he smiled as you walked away, a wave of contentedness washing over him. Even if it has come as a result of some of the toughest days of both your life and his, he had gotten to hug you. To actually hug you, to touch you more than your fingers just brushing together when you handed something to each other. 

It was what he had wanted, and he had finally gotten it. The price was hefty, but he had gotten it nonetheless. Now, he was counting down the seconds until he'd get to drive you home, spend more time with you, talk to you again.      

The rest of the day wasn't actually too bad. Just the odd comment or two, but it was nothing compared to what the pair of you had been getting over the past few days. Lando actually found a few of them quite funny, when he thought about it. 

"Hey Norris, your girlfriend is feisty, eh? Bet that makes her fun for you," one of the boys in your year said, as if it was meant to hurt or upset him. Instead he just laughed, shaking his head. 

"Feisty? Very," was all he could get out before walking away to get to his next lesson. Lando had never been so prudent with getting to his lessons, but he found that it was the best way to spend his time. 

Hour after hour went by, and before he knew it, Lando was practically running out of the front doors of the school and towards his mum's car. She was parked in the same spot that she always was, and he hopped in the back in preparation for you to get in too. 

"Why are you sitting back there?" she asked, looking at him in the rear view mirror. 

"We're picking Y/N up down the road," he said, leaning over the center console to turn on the heated seats on your side, as well as leaving his jumper from the day on your seat. He had found the one that you had returned to him in his locker, but he wanted you to have the one he had already worn.

There was something strangely intimate about you wearing his jumpers as a source of warmth and comfort, but he wasn't opposed to it. He knew that a lot of girls stole their boyfriend's hoodies, but this wasn't quite that scenario.

He wanted it to be, there was no doubt about that, but this made him feel like you two were a few steps closer to that. You were always happy to wear his jumpers, but he sometimes wished you wouldn't return then just so that he could ask for them back. Not that he wanted them back. If you wanted them, they were all yours. 

"Oh are we now?" she smirked, finding her son's actions towards you as endearing as hell. He was shaping up to be the boy she wanted to raise, and she was so proud of him. She could tell his crush on you was definitely developing, and the distance between you clearly made him want you more. 

"Yeah, we are," he said, leaving no room for her to say no. Well, she wouldn't have said no since it was cold and she didn't want you walking such a distance in such cold temperatures. 

"Does she know we're taking her home or have you just decided?"

"I asked if she wanted a ride and she said yes, so we're picking her up," he reiterated, plugging his seat belt into the socket and getting comfortable against the leather of the seats. 

"OK, OK," she chuckled, shaking her head. Igniting the engine, Lando's mum pulled away from her parking spot and started driving down the road, looking out for you. As she glanced at the rear-view mirror, she could see Lando's eyes glued to the window, searching for you on the pavement. 

She knew he had seen him by the way his eyes lit up and a small smile crept its way across his lips. Pulling up on the pavement, she rolled the passenger side window down as she called out to you. "Your chauffeur awaits," 

Clambering in the passenger side, you saw Lando's jumper on your chair, instantly taking your blazer off and replacing it with the garment. It was so much warmer than your coat, and you felt so much more comfortable in it too. 

You didn't fail to notice the heat that emanated from the seat as well, the added care making butterflies spark in your stomach. "You really don't have to go to the effort of picking me up, you know." you said, feeling slightly bad that she was going out of her way to take you home. 

"Well it was Lando's idea. He just told me we were picking you up and here we are," she told you, and you could sense the blush that coated Lando's cheeks. 

"Mum c'mon, don't..." he mumbled, crossing his arms and avoiding her gaze in the mirror. He had a slight pout on his face, and it reminded her of when he didn't get what he wanted when he was little. He was always adorable. 

You just giggled at him, and it was music to his ears. Seeing you warm and cozy in his hoodie was definitely something he wanted more of, and he wasn't sure how much more waiting he could do before he cracked and acted on his impulses. 

Yet, he didn't know what he'd do if you rejected him, or said you just wanted to be friends. He never wanted to be just friends with you, he wanted it all with you. He wanted you to be his first real girlfriend, the one you can never really forget. 

And he could only hope that you wanted the same from him. His gut feeling told him that it was obvious that you were feeling the same. Why else would you hug him, accept a ride home from him, wear his jumpers?   

He didn't care, all he did care about was the fact that his heart was dead set on the notion that you did like him back, but his head was throwing doubts at him. 

After a short drive and light conversation, you pulled up outside of your house. Instead of his mum this time, Lando wanted to be the one who walked you to your door. Getting out of his seat and taking a few steps forward to your door, he opened it forward and stood to the side. 

Grabbing your bag out of the footwell, Lando carried it to your front door as you walked together. "Do you think we could go to the library tomorrow at second break? I tried to use the textbook to do the biology, but I really couldn't understand. Plus, I think my knowledge of female anatomy could really be helped out by you," he joked, and it was refreshing to see a bit of Lando's regular cheek coming to the fore. 

If someone else had made the comment, you would've been pissed off, maybe a little upset. But not when it was Lando. His usual sense of humor was coming back, and it was like things were slowly returning back to normal. 

"I think the textbook is a better help on that subject than I am," you countered, and Lando just smirked at you. 

"Probably, but I'm much more of a hands-on learner. I'd like to have the real thing in front of me, you know?" he quipped, and you couldn't help but laugh at him. Now this was how things were meant to be. Just you two, laughing and enjoying being in each other's company. 

"Sure," you agreed. Well, not to the hands on learning, just to teaching him the stuff he didn't understand. Your way of explaining things was good for Lando, it made him understand it a lot better than the teachers could. 

"Can I get a hug before I go?" he tentatively asked, his brain working overtime to try and think of a joke to play it off in case you said no.

"Course you can," you said, your arms finding their place back around his neck as you leant into him. Just the feeling of you in his arms was enough to get his heart racing, and he felt the ever similar urge to just lean down and kiss you. 

A soft smile found its way onto his mum's face - who was watching on from the car. Seeing the both of you so miserable was dreadful, so now seeing you making up and going back to the ordinary was more than enough for her. 

There was no missing the fond, soft look in her son's eyes. It was nothing but pure affection and admiration, and it was clear how much he cared for you. She had never seen such adoration from him, and she should have guessed that it'd be you. 

From the first time your name had ever slipped past his lips, she should've known just by the way he spoke about you. And now, there you were. The two of you, as you were meant to be. 

You and Lando bade each other farewell, and he waited until you were safely inside the confines of your own home before walking back to his mum's car and getting in the passenger seat. "You two seem to have made up," she said, a slightly teasing tone to her voice. 

"Yeah, something like that," he agreed, knowing it was more than that. Or so he hoped. If only he knew that things weren't that simple, that the rose tinted glasses would be ripped from his face just as quickly as they had been put there. 

A/N - Hello lovely people! Chipping away at all the stuff I have half finished, which is part 2 to Hotel Girl, the requested part 2 of Ceilings, a little old Charlos thing, a Lando thing and Max's birthday special! I have to do one for old Maxie since we have the same birthday so we can roll our birthday specials into one. Have a great night, love y'all! 💖

tag list: @oh-austin @avni-sarai @cheriladycl01 @mariedeyes223 @daemyraforever56 @toriiez @robotchickenmerp

|masterlist|

[russellbby]

There's always pressure || Pt.2

parings: charles leclerc x sister!f2 driver!reader, arthur leclerc x sister!f2 driver!reader

in which: the pressure of being the youngest Leclerc siblings keeps increasing..

requested: yes, by @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 (coming soon)

twitter

//

Y/n sighed as she looked over Twitter, she knew that it would reach her mother who had been looking for her, it didn’t take long as her phone pinned again.

Maman❤️

You sneaked into the Mercedes garage?

This is disrespectful from you Y/n.

I mean it this time, get back to Ferrari now.

read

“You should probably go back, sweetheart. You don’t want to upset your mother anymore” Susie told her softly.

“Well, the damage has already been done so..” Y/n mumbled as she stood up.

“Keep off twitter kiddo, nothing nice comes from it and I know you too well to know you have been reading stuff” Lewis added.

“Know me too well Lew, anyways see you guys soon” Y/n said before leaving the Mercedes hospitality.

Toto, Susie and Lewis watched Y/n making her way towards Ferrari, trying to avoid cameras and reporters who wanted to know why she wasn’t with her family in Ferrari.

“She would be a perfect replacement for you” Toto said looking at Lewis, who only smiled.

//

“Y/n!” Pascale called as she seen her enter the Ferrari hospitality. “Hey maman,” Y/n mumbled before sitting down trying to avoid the glares from her and her brothers.

“Ferrari not good enough for you, sœur?” Arthur asked.

“I did watch you both,” Y/n replied.

“But you weren’t there when we got out the car, instead you were too busy talking to Lewis in Mercedes” Charles added.

“C’mon Y/n, we wanted the whole family together and you ruined it on not being there” Lorenzo told her.

Y/n made eye contact with Charlotte, Alex and Jade who gave her faint smiles before she looked down and started to fiddle with her fingers.

“If you were apart of Ferrari, maybe you could have had a chance like Arthur today” Pascale told her which made Y/n look up at her.

“I’m with Mercedes and I ain’t changing my mind, it’s my career you can’t control that” Y/n snapped, making her brothers look at her with widen eyes.

“Hey, don’t talk like that with maman!” Charles warned.

“But she isn’t wrong, Mercedes chose Kimi over you today and most likely for their second seat next year too” Arthur told her, which made Y/n feel her heart drop hearing her own brother say stuff like that.

“Arthur, too far.” Lorenzo replied.

“What? I’m not wrong, am I? She should of won the F2 championship weeks ago but it’s gone down to the final race and she might not even win it” Arthur added.

“F*ck off Arthur,” Y/n snapped.

“Y/n, don’t spea—

“No maman! I’ve had enough of you all! Do any of you know how badly I’ve felt today? No, because all you have cared about is the history Charles and Arthur has achieved today! You all have pushed me aside and didn’t even realise I wasn’t even in the garage until someone posted it on Twitter! All I have dealt with today is being compared to Charles and Arthur, how I should be on the same level as them as I’m a ‘Leclerc’, do any of you know how much pressure I have on my back?

People saying why I haven’t joined Ferrari as it runs in the family, I choose Mercedes to be different and to try create my own name in the sport, I’m sorry it’s offended you so much Arthur. Also, sorry I haven’t won the F2 championship already but I don’t even know why are commenting about that as you didn’t win it!

Now, I’m leaving so please leave me alone and just think about I’m apart of this family too, even that may be surprising for some of you!” Y/n told them before leaving.

The Leclerc family instantly feeling guilty when they watched the youngest leaving the hospitality with tears running down her face.

//

“Breathe kiddo,” Carlos said softly as he had his arms around the young girl and was in an excluded area of the paddock.

“I can’t do this anymore, Carlos” Y/n cried as she wiped her tears.

“Hey! None of that talk, you can’t give up now, you have already achieved so much” Lewis said as she joined the pair.

“But what’s the point anymore?” Y/n mumbled.

“Being named a F2 champion, is a good point to keep going” Lando said as he appeared out of nowhere.

“Listen to the muppet, but seriously you can’t give up now Y/n and I’m proud of the way you stood up towards your family” Carlos told her.

“C’mon, let’s take you back to Mercedes while Carlos and Lando can talk to your brothers” Lewis said giving a look over to the two other drivers who nodded.

While Lewis and Y/n made their back to Ferrari, Carlos told Lando what he heard the Leclerc family saying to Y/n. Soon enough they found Charles and Arthur.

//

“What is wrong with you both, seriously! She’s your little sister and you say that stuff to her? Your family are the only people who haven’t realised just how much she’s been struggling and says it all!” Carlos exclaimed as they both kept quiet.

“Not saying anything says it all, I wasn’t even there but what Carlos had filled me in with, it tells me that you guys just took it too far” Lando added.

“We’re sorry alright? We all feel guilty, I didn’t think she was feeling this bad” Charles said.

“I was just angry that she wasn’t there when I got out the car today, it would of been amazing to celebrate that moment with her she knows how much it meant to me” Arthur mumbled.

“She is proud of you both, her face lit up when she seen you both on the track together. However, it’s gets too much for her sometimes as she knew from that moment the increasing pressure she would have on her to preform this weekend” Carlos told them.

“Just leave her alone for a bit, she’s going to be with in Mercedes. But you both and whole family need to talk to her before she races this weekend” Lewis said as she approached the four of them.

“We promise,” Charles replied.

That promise didn’t last..

[gingernut1314]

Bit of Friendly Banter ch. 6

Summary: Everyone is hanging out at The Last Drop when unwelcomed guests show up baring bad news that only continues to spark tensions between the Undercity and Piltover.

Content: female reader, gendered terms, pre-season 1 arcane, young Vander, young Silco, young Sevkia, young reader, young Benzo, young Felicia, pre-Sheriff Grayson, baby Viktor, Nadia & Nikolai are Viktor's parents, unrequited love, fear of rejection/ruining friendship, smoking, slight Arcane season 2/League of Legends spoiler (Janna, Felicia & Connol)

Word Count: 4.1K

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“You should choose that one.” You spoke from where you leaned against Silco's back, reaching over his shoulder to tap at the cards in his hand. Silco hummed around his cigarette, smoke puffing from between his thin lips as he ran his fingertips over the worn cards. 

His fingers hovered over the one you had pointed at, seeming as if he was going to choose it, but they grabbed for the card next to it, placing it gently on the table’s surface. Sevika scowled at the card, nearly biting her blunt in half. 

“If you wanted to play,” Silco started, pulling his cigarette from his mouth to offer it to you. You took it, fingertips brushing as you did and sending your nerves standing on end. “You should have done so.” 

“And lose more coin? I’m okay.” You huffed, fitting the cigarette between your lips and pulling the thick, nicotine-riddled smoke into your lungs. Silco’s lips pulled in amusement, seafoam eyes watching as Nadia’s husband, Nikolai, slowly pulled a card from the selection in his hand. 

Nikolai was as equally tall, lanky, and pale as Nadia. His eyes, a near-black brown, were framed by deep bags that made him look as if he never slept. It was something Nadia confirmed, having told you many times of her husband's unhealthy habit of staying up well past his bedtime to finish working on a sculpture for some Piltie snob. 

You turned your gaze slightly to spot his wife over by the jukebox, their equally as tall, lanky, and pale son, Viktor, on her hip. Viktor looked like a mini copy of Nikolai, with his sharp cheekbones, nose, and mane of brown hair. Nadia’s genres had stood no chance against her husbands, except for one. His eyes, which were that same bright, burnt gold color.

The six-year-old watched the jukebox's arm come to life after the choosing of a new song, those eyes watching closely as if taking down notes on how it worked.

Probably was taking mental notes, the damn smart kid. 

You were still waiting on him to build you that mini-fridge to put in the small-ass apartment Sevika and you shared. 

“We could have played a non-betting game.” Silco reached for the cigarette still between your lips. You let him grab it, the fleeting feel of his skin against your lips sending your brain buzzing more than any drink or smoke or drug could ever hope to achieve. 

“Yeah right.” Silco’s eyes turned onto you then, watching your lips as you blew the remaining smoke from your lungs. You felt your skin burn at the attention. “Like Sevika would let us.” He chuckled. 

“Oh I’m sure we could convince her…might have to bet her though.” You chuckled at how true he was. Sevika was very betting originated. If there was a gamble to be had you were sure to find her in the middle of it.

“Hey,” Sevika hissed from her place directly across from you two. “How about you two stop eye fucking and take your turn, weasel.” Your skin burned in something other than Silco’s attention. 

“You’re quite the piss poor loser.” Silco smoothly said. He leaned back in his chair, a cocky look on his face.

“The game has ended?” Nikolai asked, his confused voice sporting the same accent as his wife, both having run away from their war-torn homeland years ago.

“No.” Sevika snapped. Nikolai’s lips formed a small ‘O’, eyes turning right back to the cards in his hands, which lay at different skewed angles. “I’m not losing this time, asshole.” She bit once more at Silco who gave her an unbelieving smirk. 

“Maybe if you wish on it hard enough.” Silco shrugged. Sevika went to open her mouth again but was cut off by a low groan from the other player at the table.

“I only agreed to take Benzo's spot because you two promised me it would be a friendly game.” Felicia, dark blue-haired and stunningly beautiful, said. You watched her place her cards face down on the table, replacing them with her half-drank cocktail, which she playfully smirked behind. 

You had disliked Felicia as soon as you laid eyes on her three years ago. 

It was a dislike you knew was irrational. One that truly had no backing to it but one you held regardless. 

And it didn’t help that everyone else in your group adored her. 

She was fun and beautiful. She knew how to talk to people in a way that left them hanging off her every word. She worked in the mines with Vander, Silco, and Benzo, so she understood the struggle of that life and had instantly been as taken with the idea of Zaun as you all had been. 

And, worst of all, she was a flirt. 

A huge flirt. 

“She’d flirt with the damn wind if it rustled a bit of paper in her direction.” Sevika had chuckled to you once. 

Yeah, Felicia would definitely flirt with Janna if the Winds showed her face around her and it was just another thing that pissed you off. 

Felicia flirted with Sevika. With Benzo, Vander, and even Nadia and Nikolai, the couple growing all flustered and blushy each time. 

She flirted with Silco too. 

And Silco flirted back. 

It was expected. Silco was just as much a flirt as Felicia. Maybe she liked the game just as much as Silco. Maybe that’s why they got along so well.

Whatever it was you hated it. 

“It’s just a bit of friendly banter.” Silco matched her playful smirk. Felicia pulled forward, getting close to Silco but not close enough to peek at his cards. You watched her hold her free hand out and wiggle her fingers in his direction. Silco handed her the cigarette without any hesitation. 

You watched their fingers brush. 

Watched their fingers linger.

“You promise?” She asked, bringing the cigarette to her lips. 

“Pinky promise.” She laughed at Silco, smoke puffing from her lungs. 

“Oh yeah?” Silco reached his hand back out, raising his pinky for her to take. You saw her muscles move as she started to reach back for Silco and that’s when you shoved off Silco’s back. Silco grunted as his ribs hit the edge of the table a little harder than you had intended. 

“The hel--What was that for?” Silco gruffed at you. Though you had been “cured” of your struggle to understand other’s emotions, you still struggled with understanding and controlling your own. 

Mainly, you struggled to not show every little thing you felt on your face. 

And right now you were pissed.

“What’s the matter with you?” Silco watched you narrowly, definitely taking notice of your change in mood.

“Nothing.” You practically grit out. “Getting a drink.” Sevika was chuckling at your outburst. Chuckles that grew into a bellow when you snatched Silco’s box of cigarettes, pulled a fresh one out, and stormed off.

You weaved around tables full of laughing patrons of The Last Drop, making it to the bar where a few people lent, waiting for their drink. 

Benzo was behind the bar tonight, helping Vander mix drinks up, which he was doing for a trio of men you now stood beside. One of which had decided to lean in closer to you. 

“Can I buy ya--” 

“No.” You hardly let him finish his sentence, not in the mood to deal with it.

“Oh come on. We can take a shot--” You snapped to bore your smoldering gaze into him. 

“I’ll give you to the count of three before I break your nose.” The man narrowed his gaze down on you, not getting the hint that you really would. 

Benzo handed the men their drinks, ushering them away before you could release your brewing anger upon him. 

“Uh oh. Somethin’ awoke the slumberin’ sea beast.” Benzo spoke, a smirk on his lips.

“Just get me a drink, Benzo.” You huffed, turning your pissed-off gaze onto him. 

“Didn’t we jus’ see the beast a week ago?” He asked, still finding your mood all too amusing. “Silco again?” You reached behind the bar to snag the box of matches you knew Vander kept there.

They did see the “beast” as Benzo called your anger. Last week when Silco had been flirting with a girl in this very bar. Flirting with some random person when it had meant to be a night you two hung out together. 

You’d just let your anger about that go three days ago. 

“Not everything is about Silco, asshole.” You bit, shoving the cigarette between your lips and flicking the match against the ridged side of the box, letting the fire bring the butt of the cigarette to a smolder. You inhaled deeply, willing the heavy smoke to cloud your mind and help you forget about the person Benzo knew you were pissed at. 

“Want’d he do this time?” Benzo pushed. 

“I’m gonna slap that damn smirk off your face if don’t shut the hell up.” You hissed loud enough it caught Vander’s attention. Benzo had just opened his mouth to continue when he came over, clapping Benzo on the shoulder. 

“How ‘bout you go take care of those two down there for me, yeah?” He instructed with a too-kind smile.

“Careful, Vander. This one's got teeth tonight.” He laughed before going to do as Vander asked. Vander watched him go before turning to look at you, a knowing gleam in his eyes. 

“Ya got teeth tonight?” You took another deep drag, fixing Vander with your burning gaze. 

“Razor sharp.” You spoke on an exhale of smoke. 

“Ah, I see.” He mused, beginning to scoop ice into a shaker. You two stood in silence for a long moment as you watched Vander work. You could tell he was making something sweet but held a hidden bite within it. A perfect drink, in your opinion. 

The muscles in Vander’s arms flexed the slightest bit as he shook the liquids together before straining it into a cup. He placed a little decorative flower on top before presenting it to you. You gratefully took the glass from him, exhaling yet another drag of smoke before taking a sip. 

Just how you liked it. Sweet but strong. 

“So what’s got you baring your fangs tonight, sweetheart?” He asked, lending his hands on the bar before him. You swallowed sharply. 

“Nothing. I just needed a drink.” Vander gave a known nod, thumb tapping lightly against the wooden bartop. His eyes turned from you to look towards the table full of his friends who had resumed their game. 

“Those two are just having a laugh.” You knew you were being foolish. Being unfairly angry at him, but you truly did not need to be reminded.

“I know.” You bit. Vander gave another small nod. 

“Why haven’t you talked with him yet?” You snapped your eyes up at Vander. He suggested you talk to Silco many times before about how you feel. Suggested it last week too. And every time you gave him a simple, bullshitted answer as to why you wouldn’t.

“Busy.” Vander leveled you with a look that almost made you squirm. 

“Life’s busy. How it goes. Doesn’t mean you can keep using it as an excuse.” 

“I don’t want to talk to him.” 

“Well, then, don’t” He pushed off the bar top, taking his matches with him. “Can I let you in on a little bit of a secret though?” You watched him carefully as he grabbed for his metal pipe. “Felicia’s set her sights on a new guy we work with. Connol. She’s never quite enjoyed someone as much as I’ve seen her enjoy that one. Silco’s never been that to her in the slightest.”  

“Doesn’t mean she hasn’t been that for him.” You murmured before you could stop yourself. Vander gave you a small smile, lighting his pipe and taking a pull from it. 

“Like I said, sweetheart. It’s just for a laugh.” You opened your mouth to say something more, but the doors to The Last Drop Swung open and all noise ceased. 

You spun around, finding a large group of enforcers marching in, armor gleaming and masks looking devilish in the dim light. 

People around the bar stood, readying for a fight if needed. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Sevika grab hold of Nikolai, keeping him from rushing across the bar towards Nadia, who holding onto Viktor tightly. They both watched each other, fear and panic clear in their eyes for the other. 

Vander had just begun rounding the bar when someone pressed their side against your own. You knew instantly who it was, not needing to look up to find Silco standing there. 

“How can I help you?” Vander asked, breaking the silence that had washed over his bar. The leading enforcer grabbed for their mask, pulling it off to reveal Sergent Grayson, who steadied Vander with a near-pitying gaze.

“Forgive me for the intrusion.” She began, voice smooth yet carried a rasp to it. “Do you own this establishment?” Vander gave her a nod, bringing his pipe to his lips. Grayson held her hand out, another, still masked, enforcer rushed forward to place a roll of paper in her gloved hand. “The council has made a few changes you should be aware of.” A murmur rose among the crowd as she passed the paper to Vander. 

He took it, fire sparking in his eyes. A deep fire he very rarely let show as such. 

Vander was the peacekeeper. The one who kept relationships within your group of friends stable. The one you would turn to if you needed advice or someone who would listen. The one who stopped the group and even others outside of it from blindly attacking when there was other ways to solve a problem. 

But that didn’t mean he wasn’t just as angry as you all were. Just as bloodthirsty for the rights you all deserved. 

He was the true slumbering beast. 

A wolf kept chained back until nothing and no one could stop it from bursting to life. 

You’d only ever seen the wolf twice. Once when they announced the mines reopening, and the second time when his father had been killed by an enforcer. 

And you saw that wolf again, pacing restlessly back and further looking for the right moment to strike.

“They’re still hungry for more, huh?” Vander mused, breaking the seal on the paper and unrolling it. 

“I have just come as a messenger. Please read it over. The changes will be enacted within the week.” She gave him one last, pitying smile before pulling her mask back into her face. 

As the enforcers left, people hissed and cursed them. Spit on them. 

Grayson seemed to feel the tension growing between her enforcers and the people within the bar and hung back, watching her officers and snapping at them if they got too close to an Undercitian as they left. 

As soon as the last of her enforcers left, she followed after, letting the door swing shut behind her and washing the bar in deathly silence once more. 

Dread. 

Hopelessness. 

Anger. 

Those were the things that hung heavy in the air as everyone watched Vander read over the paper, the edges getting crushed between his fingers the longer he did. 

Nikolai was the first to move, all but sprinting over to Nadia who held fearful tears in her eyes and was edger to be wrapped up in her husband's arms. 

Silco was the second to move, rushing to his brother’s side to peer at the paper he’d been given. His bared teeth were telling enough of what bullshit was written there. 

The next to move was Felicia, who made her way over to the jukebox. She pressed a few buttons before it whirled to life, an upbeat song beginning to play which she let carry her back through the crowd of patrons. 

“You heard her. We don’t need to worry about it just this moment.” She smiled brightly their way, trying to further distract them. 

“Fuck that. How dare they come in here and--” It was the guy who had tried to hit on you earlier, but Felicia grabbed hold of his hand and pulled him sharply away from his chair. 

“Ah, ah, ah. Come on. Vander will let us know what's up later.” She began to sway with the music again, pulling the guy closer and closer. “I wanna dance. And I wanna dance with you, handsome.” She purred up at him. The guy opened and closed his mouth like a fish, glancing back to his friends who had seemed to forget about the events that had just happened and were beginning to grin like goofy kids. 

And just like that, the room filled with voices and the clicking of glasses once more as if snapped from a daze. 

Vander too, seemed to be snapped back from the unfair reality thrust into his hands. A reality he shoved into his back pocket to be forgotten for now. 

And once more you found you couldn’t stand Felicia. 

You were grateful for her, yes. Happy she had been able to lift everyone's spirits but you wished you could do that. Wished you had the same playful way with people she so effortlessly showcased and used to her advantage. 

When she found you watching, she flashed you a charming smile and a playful wink. A smile that could never possibly hope to fully hide the same angry look in her eyes. The same anger you and everyone else felt every day--felt even more now. You gave her a steady nod back before she twirled away. 

Seaform eyes were the next to find your gaze. Eyes that rushed towards you in seconds. 

Silco grabbed hold of your hand and led you through The Last Drop. Past Nadia and her family, who Vander had found and was now speaking lively to Viktor, who shyly peeked up at him. Past Benzo who was heading back behind the bar and a few people who followed, edger for a drink. 

He dragged you up step after step into the upper levels of the place he called home. You passed a door that led to Vander’s office, a place you once made home within when Silco found out you had been living in a cave, though now that you had moved out, Vander had moved in. You passed by Silco and Benzo’s shared room and past the broom closest before making it to the ladder at the end of the hall. 

Silco let go of your hand only so he could climb, throwing the hatch open and disappearing up onto the roof. You quickly followed, finding him standing there waiting for you. As soon as you were securely up, he shut the hatch and rushed towards the roof edge to look over the streets below. 

You came up to his side, brushing your shoulder against his as you quickly spotted the horde of enforcers marching through the night.

“They are closing the distillery,” He spoke after watching the enforcers enter a diner that was open 24/7. One of you and Silco’s favorite spots to hit up after a long night of drinking. You pressed closer to him as your dread grew. “And the brew house. Deemed them “not up to code”.” 

“Fuck.” You hissed, “Mean’s we’re only gonna be able to get our drink from Piltover.” Silco nodded, eyes finding yours once more. 

“And you know how they love their taxes.” He said in utter disgust. “We can’t take this lying down. It may just be alcohol but what is stopping them from deeming our docks “not up to code”? Our water sources? We won’t survive it.” 

You thought of Felicia then. Of how she had so quickly swooped in and calmed everyone's rage for the night. Because what could they do then? Nothing. 

They needed a plan. Something solid that might possibly stand a chance against Piltover.

“We need to take action and we need to do it--” You cut Silco off with a simple grab of his hands and a soft smile. 

“Let's have a smoke, okay?” He started saying your name but you pressed a finger to your lips, shushing him. “I agree…but we’ll discuss it all tomorrow. We won’t take it lying down. We’ll fight,” Silco’s lips thinned as he listened to you, hands holding yours tighter. “But it's a nice night out. I want to smoke with you.” He watched you for a long moment, looking like he might try to keep talking of action but he gave you a nod. 

“Please.” He breathed. You guided him to sit down on the ledge, one leg dangling off either side. You watched him pull his box of cigarettes and lighter out from his pocket, a cigarette extended towards you as he placed one between his lips. 

His gaze never once left yours as he lit both cigarettes, the light dancing within his eyes in a physical showing of his burning desire for freedom. A desire you felt too--ached more for when you were around him.

You two sat in easy silence for a while, watching each other and only looking away when the enforcers came marching back out of the 24/7 diner. You watched them disappear into the night before Silco’s foot tapping your own caught your attention once more. 

“Why were you so pissed early?” He asked on an exhale of smoke. You did the opposite, filling your lungs with the heavy, warm smoke so you could prolong an answer. 

“Wasn’t.” Silco gave you a look that told you he didn’t believe you one bit. You shrugged. “Really.” 

“Really?” He repeated. You nodded on a popping yep. “Well, I really find that hard to believe. I could see your blood boiling.” 

“My blood was very much at a normal boil.” You pulled in more fogging smoke. 

“I think that’s something you should have checked out. Your boiling blood.” You kicked his foot only for him to quickly kick it back. “Just tell me. Was it something I did?” 

“Just talk to him. Tell him what you're feeling.” Vander’s past words rang through your mind. 

Tell him your feelings. 

It couldn’t be that hard. You certainly weren’t busy right now. It would be a perfect time to do it. 

But the longer you looked over his face, the longer you thought about how he never looked at you how he looked at other girls, had you pushing those thoughts way down. 

“Sevkia pissed me off.” You lied. Well, it was partially true. You hated how she always found ways to try to embarrass and upset you when she herself was pissed off during a game.

So you went that route. 

Silco watched you for a moment, all-seeing eyes all but digging into the depth of your soul to figure out if that was the true reason. 

You willed yourself to believe it. To make him believe you believed it. 

“About what she said about us?” You nodded, taking another drag. 

“It was stupid. She says stupid shit all the time, need to not get so worked up over it.” Silco took another drag himself, something heaving growing in his eyes. A heaviness you couldn’t quite figure out. 

“You’re right. She’s awfully stupid.” He joked. You kicked his foot again and he kicked you right back. “Why do I feel like that’s not really why you were upset? You shoved me remember? Not Sevkia.” You gave an overly loud groan. 

“What is this? If I wanted to get interrogated, I’d go find those bucket heads.” Silco shook his head at your dramatics. 

“I’m not interrogating you.” He huffed, giving your foot another swift kick which you, just as swiftly, dealt back. “You just…used to talk more freely with me. Told me exactly why and how I had pissed you off.” His voice came out a bit softer then. A softness that pulled at your heart in a way you hadn’t expected it to. 

You missed that too…but you couldn’t go around telling him you were--were jealous of the people he flirted with. Whether that be play or real flirting. It would ruin everything between you two. 

You two were friends. 

Strictly.

And you had to keep it that way. Because not only would it throw a wrench in your friendship, but you would only become another conquest in his game. 

You didn’t want to just be another girl as stupid and cliche as you felt thinking it. You wanted him to want you fully, just as you wanted him. 

“Didn’t give a shit about my shitty social skills back then. No one was safe.” Silco chuckled at this, a look in his eyes like he was remembering back to the beginning days of your friendship. 

“You still have pretty shitty social skills.” You gave a gasp, kicking his foot a little harder at that. He kicked you just as hard back.

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[devswritingcornerorsmth]

overwatch ratings based on how they would date

did this a while ago but spent too much time on it for it to not be posted. this is just a personal opinion and personal ratings based off lore and bias tbh. this will be updated with every hero (if I remember to lol)

Tanks:

D.VA: 6/10. Caring and loving, fun gaming dates, but gets recognized a lot, and if it came down to it she’d choose her job to protect south korea over her lover

Doomfist: 4/10. He’d be a gentleman but probably only in it for sex or to be a sugar daddy. He’d treat his “lover” with respect tho so not a total loss i guess.

Junker Queen: 7/10. After the shit she’s been thru i think she doesnt really want a partner cuz shes afraid they’re just using her to get to the throne or that she’ll lose them. She’s protective and caring but also a bit overprotective to the point where it’s like okay calm down. Also might get into a few fights but eh.

Orisa: 0/10. she thinks it would be cute to be in a relationship but knows she cant be in one due to being the “protector of numbani”. so no.

Ramattra: 8/10. Deadass depends if it’s an omnic or not. If his lover is an omnic he will cherish them and take care of them, knowing that they’re one of the few things he loves in this life. If it’s a human then theres some. Problems. He doesnt open up easily and while he’s still protective and caring he can sometimes get very distant towards them because he fears that they only got close to him to use him or kill him.

Reinhardt: 9/10: Perfect gentleman. Treats you with respect and love, and cherishes you no matter what. -1 is because he can be really loud sometimes even when he doesnt mean to be

Roadhog: 5/10. I think of him as aroace but he would try and give it a shot just to feel what it’s like. Hes very quiet but also very calm. He would listen to his lover and do his best to help them, but he moves around a lot thanks to junkrat now and might cut off communication with you just to keep you safe when he's on the run

Sigma: 5/10. A real gentleman, would treat his lover with respect and kindness and love. Only downside is when he has one of his mind breaks and breakdowns. He forgets who he is and just focuses on violence. Also his control of gravity in that state is very fucky so if he’s having a breakdown his lover might get throw to the ground. He feels like jackshit afterwards and probably realizes it’s best not to have someone he cares about so close to him

Wrecking Ball: 0/10 no. he would simply not even if he wanted to. Aroace hampter 

Winston: maybe a 1/10. i feel like he doesnt want a romantic relationship with anybody and just wants friends (aroace monke)

Zarya: 6/10. Protective and caring but would focus too much on her job. would also pick her country over her lover if it did come down to it

Mauga: 8/10: Would treat his lover right and give them anything they asked for. Free beach house, gifts, and a loving, protective, obsessive bf. -2 because slight yandere vibes and can get too possesive-

Damage:

Ashe: 6/10. Partners in crime kinda thing but if you’re not really into that stuff she’s probably not that into you. She has BOB watching you when she cant during a fight but shes always next to you when she can be.

Bastion: 0/10. Dude just wants to live in the woods with his bird he doesnt want that stuff.

Cassidy: 8/10. Southern sweetheart. Treats his partner with love and respect. Only downside is that he’d be out a lot doing his job, but he would let somebody else do it to be with you if it’s a special occasion or if he really wants to stay with you.

Echo: 2/10. Not big on romance but would try it out for science. Sadly in the end it’s not real love so. Oof

Genji: 9/10. Probably doesn’t want a relationship at first because of his body but he gets used to it and opens up his heart. Honestly very good boyfriend would be there to listen and help you with stuff. -1 cuz he might be out doing overwatch stuff a lot and also might not be the most exciting person to be around if you're a hyper person.

Hanzo: 6/10. Can’t see him getting in a relationship after everything thats happened but if he did he’d be kinda bad at it but you could tell that he’s trying his best.

Junkrat: 5/10. I love him but i cant really see him *staying* in a relationship for long. He doesn’t know how to stop sometimes and can get really annoying really quick but he loves making things for his lover and would do his best to keep them away from the dangerous bombs. He loves them a lot but doesn’t know how to turn the love down. Really clingy so if youre into that cool.

Mei: 9/10. Absolute sweetheart. Loves you to bits and takes you out to her favorite restaurants and stuff. -1 cuz you had to have a long distance relationship due to her being in Antarctica and the fact she slept for years with no communication with her lover-

Phara: 4/10. Cares about her job more but would be an okay girlfriend, doing the basics.

Reaper: 1/10. He’s done with love and would probably just just be a sugar daddy or just be there for sex. Even if he did find himself feeling something he’d ignore it and move on

Sojourn:5/10. Not interested in dating or finding love but if it finds her she’ll go for it. Pretty nice girlfriend, makes sure to take care of her lover but does focus on her job a lot more sometimes.

Soldier:76: 0/10. Not interested and has made sure to break off any past relationships. Doesn’t want the people he cares about to get hurt. So he still cares but doesnt go see them.

Somba: 7/10. Would be a pretty good girlfriend if she wanted to have a relationship. She keeps all people she cares about far away and unaware of her deeds at Talon. So a long distance relationship until she can take some time off to go see her lover and vibe.

Symmetra: 3/10. Doesn’t know how to even start a relationship and doesn’t really want to. Her job is important to her so she wouldn’t want distractions from it.

Torbjorn: 6/10. His wife and him had a few children and have been married for a while so he’s probably got the whole love thing covered.

Tracer: 9/10. Probably one of the best on this list. She’s loving and caring and makes sure to spend a lot of time with her partner. 

Widowmaker: 3/10. Last partner she had was um. killed by her so. +3 if you could break down her walls and see the real her but very low chance

Venture: 8.5/10: Would talk to you about rocks, fossils, and everything else they can think about. They’d even let you name rocks around the house. -2 cuz they’ll talk your ear off about rocks n stuff while also bouncing around everywhere. They can also be gone for long periods of time but always makes sure to call. If you can deal with the infodumping and adhd then 9.5/10 for you 

Support:

Ana: 5/10. She doesn’t want a relationship but she’d be very loving and caring to her lover.

Baptiste: 8/10. Great boyfriend, lovers needs always come first and he’s very open and always has an ear out to listen. -2 because he’s constantly on the run and the relationship could get stressed.

Brigitte: 5/10. Mostly focused on her work but would make a pretty good girlfriend if she finds the right person. The relationship would mostly be a test one because she lowkey doesn’t understand it.

Kiriko: 4/10. Would love to be in a relationship but protecting her home is more important than finding love to her.

Lucio: 9/10. Actual sweetheart. Would make music for you and would cancel shows last second if something came up and you needed something. If you need anything he’ll be there to help.

Mercy: 8/10. She’s really focused on her work but no matter what would take time to come stay with you for a while. -2 because sometimes too focused on work and sometimes doesnt have time to see you for a long time.

Moira: 0/10. Not looking for a relationship and would probably lie just to get you strapped to a table and butchered.

Zenyatta: 7/10. Would make a decent boyfriend but he can’t have relationships due to being a monk. He’d be there to listen and to give advice when you needed it.

Lifeweaver: 9/10. Perfect boyfriend in every way. Like no competition. -1 cuz he's on the run from multiple governments so he won't be able to talk all the time or be with you much to his dismay. multiple texts a day tho

Illari: 4/10. Tbh I can't see her getting into a relationship after everything. She's too scared that something will happen with her powers again and hurt her lover

[museanddream]

Heaven - part 2 || Ona Batlle x Lucy Bronze x reader

Warnings: 🔞 || threesome, poly relationship, oral sex, strap-ons, degrading language, bottom!reader

Word count: 2.5k

Part 2 of 3

Part 1 here

Ona bends to kiss you, slow and sweet, then gently coaxes you onto your hands and knees. Lucy has kicked off her boxers and now sits completely bare against the headboard, legs slightly parted as she waits for you.

“Come up here,” Lucy says.

You crawl up the bed until you’re kneeling between her legs. Lucy pushes herself off the headboard, abs tensing as she does, and grabs your jaw with one hand. Her grip is rougher than Ona’s was, hard enough to remind you who’s in charge, but the thumb that she rubs across the seam of your lips is gentle in comparison.

“We gotta find a good use for that filthy mouth, huh?” she murmurs, her gaze flicking down to your lips.

You nod, staying silent in case you say something that riles Lucy up even further.

“You’re gonna eat me out while Ona fucks you from behind,” Lucy tells you, letting go of your jaw. Her gaze flicks up to Ona, before she adds a second instruction, this time for the Spaniard. “She doesn’t come until I do.”

Ona nods obediently, jaw clenched, and helps guide you into position. Your knees are near the edge of the mattress, Ona standing behind you at the foot of the bed, your ass in the air ready to be filled by her cock again. In front of you, Lucy is relaxing against the cushions once more, legs spread so you can see the perfect lips shining with the evidence of her arousal.

Before you can get to work, Ona pulls you upright, wrapping her arms around you from behind as the toy presses against your ass and her mouth finds your neck. You tilt your head as your eyelashes flutter shut, giving her access to a wider expanse of skin, and she sends one hand south across your stomach until her fingers dip between your legs again. You’re so wet there’s no friction at all as her fingertips slide over your clit, taunting your entrance before sliding back up across your stomach, leaving a wet smear behind.

“Ona, please…”

“You heard Lucy.” Ona’s voice is nothing more than a low rumble in your ear, but it still has you pushing your hips back against her harness. “You get her off, then I’ll reward you. Does that sound good, cariño?”

You nod and let Ona guide you back down onto all fours. She’s so careful with you, stroking your back as you find a comfortable position between Lucy’s legs. That’s one of the big differences between them. Lucy likes to be rougher, likes to assert her control by throwing you around the bedroom or pinning you down with her strength. Ona is stronger than you too, could probably even give Lucy a run for her money, not that Lucy would ever admit to it or let her try, but so often chooses to be gentle instead.

Lucy notices too and calls Ona out.

“This is the problem, you know. This is why she acts out. You’re too fucking nice to her when she’s being a brat.”

Though you can’t see Ona’s face behind you, you can picture the smirk on her face from the tone of her voice as she points out, “I’m not the one she told to get fucked.”

Lucy’s eyes drop to meet yours, looking at the way you’re on your hands and knees between her legs, patiently waiting for instruction.

“Go on then,” she tells you. “Get on with it. This was your idea.”

Her voice is devoid of any emotion as her eyes bore into you, as if being eaten out by you is a chore she has to endure rather than a pleasure, but instead of putting you off, it only spurs you on, desperate to prove to Lucy that she should be craving you and the way you can make her feel.

You lower yourself onto your forearms and nuzzle your face into the inside of one of Lucy’s strong thighs, pressing a couple of kisses to the soft skin there, before you turn your head back and run your tongue through Lucy’s arousal. She’s soaked, and as you lick through her and hum at the taste, you feel pride swell in your chest. Lucy might pretend to be unbothered by the prospect of you going down on her, might put on a show of bravado and dominance and act like she’s in control, but the wetness collected by your tongue is evidence that she is affected by it all. Whether she’s turned on from watching Ona fucking you or if it’s just the power of having you willing to do pretty much anything just to be allowed to come, it doesn’t matter because she wants you.

Even though it’s against your own interests, you start slow, teasing Lucy with your tongue. You avoid her clit, you swirl around her glistening hole without actually dipping inside. Revenge, you could say, for the way she denied your own pleasure earlier.

But you don’t have the same resolve as Lucy, that’s probably why she’s dominating this encounter while you’re the one on your hands and knees with your ass in the air, because you can’t deny her for too long. Not because she makes you, not explicitly anyway, but because there’s more power in unravelling Lucy’s composure than there is in teasing her.

Your tongue gets more precise, finding the spots that you know drive her wild, settling into more of a rhythm. Your lips wrap around her clit, soft suction as you press the flat of your tongue against her, before licking down and curling the tip of your tongue inside her where her arousal gathers.

Apart from the wetness coating your lips and chin, there’s no sign that she’s moved by the way you work your tongue against her most intimate area at all.

It bothers you to no end that Lucy is so calm while you’re a desperate mess between her strong thighs.

You’re so focused on trying to elicit some kind of reaction from Lucy that you almost forget about Ona and her strap behind you.

Almost.

“Ready?” Ona’s voice is low as she speaks to you.

You can’t reply, not with your mouth occupied by Lucy, but you know that Ona is an ass girl and push your own up further into her hand to encourage her. The fingers of one hand squeeze the flesh appreciatively, while those on the other dip back between your legs, smearing your copious arousal around until you feel the digits replaced by the familiar silicone of the strap’s blunt head.

Ona pushes in, not forcefully, but without the same care to stretch you out slowly that she used before. The ache as she slides in and bottoms out is a pleasant one that has you humming against Lucy.

“She feels good, huh?” Lucy asks. You might be imagining the slight rasp to her voice but you feed off it, knowing that your tongue must finally be making her feel something.

You can’t answer without lifting your mouth from Lucy’s cunt and you don’t dare, but you let out a little moan of assent.

Behind you, Ona starts moving, only pulling out halfway but still managing to nudge that spot inside you with the toy’s blunt head on each slow thrust.

“Look at you,” Lucy continues. Your eyes find hers and are met with a strange look, her eyes hazy with lust but a scorning expression on her face. “Being used at both ends. Pathetic.”

If your tongue was not busy, you’re sure it would fire a sharp quip right back at Lucy, some clever retort to try and prove that you’re not just in this position because she’s put you there, that you like being the sole focus of their combined attention. But your hot head and smart mouth are what got you into this predicament in the first place and you don’t even want to dare to imagine how long Lucy will deny you from coming if you were to make even the tiniest slip up and question her authority again.

Behind you, Ona’s hand strokes your ass as she fucks into you, the gentle touch a contrast to Lucy’s harsh words. But if you’re honest, the cold way that Lucy addresses you is just as responsible for the delicious pressure building in your core as Ona’s strap is.

Ona fucks you steadily, hips less hurried than they were when she had you on your back. The pace shouldn’t be enough to get you there on its own, or at least it wouldn’t be if you hadn’t already been teased mercilessly, first by Ona’s tongue and fingers, then by her strap.

But something about this whole situation, being used by them both, having your own pleasure held ransom by Lucy and her willing accomplice Ona, has you hurtling towards the edge far quicker than should be possible.

You lift your mouth from Lucy’s pussy and gasp out, “Stop. I’m close. I’m gonna…”

Ona pulls out, leaving you pulsing around nothing. The ebb of the incoming orgasm washes away and leaves you feeling so frustrated that you almost wonder if you would’ve been better off coming without permission, inevitably facing the wrath of yet another punishment from Lucy but at least getting a little relief in the process.

As it is, you’re left more worked up than ever. You need to come, need to get Lucy off so that you can come.

For the first time, you start to regret the brattiness that got you in this predicament. Would they have let you come by now if you’d kept your mouth shut, if you’d laid obediently between them instead of telling Lucy to get fucked?

“Poor thing,” Lucy says, though there’s no sympathy in her dark gaze, nor the twist of her lips as she looks down at you between her legs. “Just desperate to come, aren’t you?”

She pauses, but you know the question is rhetorical and she soon continues.

“Poor little slut.”

Ona’s warm hand on the base of your spine is a stark contrast to the coldness of Lucy’s words. Her touch is kind, though you can’t help but think that it would be kinder of her to let you come. She won’t though, knowing very well that it could just as easily be her in your position if she enables you, sympathising with you just enough to know what it feels like to be on Lucy’s bad side when she’s in one of these moods but not enough to actually help you out of the mess you’ve caught yourself in.

Ona knows the rules. As do you - Lucy comes, then you do.

“Can I use my fingers on you?” You dare to ask the question, knowing it would speed up the process.

Lucy shakes her head.

“No, I don’t think so. I want your mouth. Want you to prove to me that your tongue is good for more than just mouthing off when you’re being a brat.”

You groan, partly in frustration and partly because Ona chooses that moment to sheath the toy inside you once more. You have no doubt that you’d be able to get Lucy off in less than a couple of minutes with your fingers, satisfying the criteria to be allowed an orgasm of your own, but Lucy doesn’t come as easily from being eaten out.

That’s not to say that she can’t come, you’re just going to have to work a little harder for it.

Something that’s going to be really difficult if Ona keeps bottoming out inside you like that.

Ona’s thrusts are shallower now and she probably thinks that she’s doing you a favour by not pounding into you with as much vigour, but it’s actually the reverse. Because the bulb to the cock’s head means there’s a slight ridge that is rubbing inside you, providing perfect pressure exactly where you don’t need it, not if you’re going to get Lucy off with your tongue first.

But just when you’re about to call out for Ona to pause again, one of Lucy’s hands finds the back of your head, winding her fingers through strands of hair as she pulls your face tighter against you.

She’s close.

“That’s it.” Lucy’s voice comes out as a growl, and when you glance up her body, you see that her eyes are shut in bliss, her other hand stretched out to grasp one of the slats on the headboard, her abdomen rippling as she bucks her hips against your willing tongue. “Right there. Let me use you. Want to come in that filthy little mouth.”

Lucy’s words have you clenching around Ona’s cock and you know she can feel the extra resistance from the way that her hand squeezes your ass apreciatively. You’re more than happy for Lucy to use your mouth, lacking the agency to move much yourself with Lucy’s hand in your hair directing you where she wants you. Her hips are moving more urgently now, practically riding the lower half of your face, smearing her arousal across your lips and chin, but you just let her, firming up your tongue to give her something to grind against.

It takes less than half a minute like that for Lucy to tumble over the edge. The only warning you get is the fist that tightens in your hair just before she comes, followed by the low groan that spills from her throat as her hips twitch against your mouth.

Ona has fallen still behind you too, cock still nestled in your cunt, probably distracted by the view in front of her and you don’t even blame her. Lucy is beautiful as she comes, eyes squeezed shut but her face the perfect portrait of pleasure. It’s something you never get tired of, watching either of your girls coming and knowing that you’re the one who made it happen, but there’s something extra special about unravelling Lucy, something about this brief moment where she’s not the one in control, that you don’t think you’ll ever not be awestruck by.

You’ve fulfilled your end of the deal but you know better than to assume you’re allowed to come now.

“Please?”

Lucy’s lashes flutter open and her hazy eyes gaze down to where you’re between her legs. The pause drags on just long enough that you think Lucy is going to be cruel enough to continue to deny you, even after making her come, but then her eyes flit up to Ona behind you.

They’re doing it again, communicating silently over you like you’re not even there, It should be embarrassing, degrading, the way they treat you like you’re a toy to be used for their pleasure rather than a person with your own desires and urges, except for the fact that it’s such a ridiculous turn-on that you’re sure you must be getting wetter around Ona’s cock.

You stay still, quiet, obedient, desperate, until finally -

“Go on,” Lucy says to Ona, with a sharp nod. “But make sure it’s good for you too. Wanna watch you both come.”

[edenesth]

TWTHH Spinoff: Take Me Away [1]

Pairing: private investigator!Wooyoung x courtesan!reader

AU: historical au (Joseon era)

Word Count: 5k

Trigger Warnings: forced prostitution

Summary: While working on a new case in town, Wooyoung was captivated when he stumbled upon a beauty unlike any other. Just as he began to believe that he might have found a Lady Park of his own, word got out that she was merely the newest courtesan at the town's brothel. Disheartened by this revelation, he nearly abandons his pursuit of her until he hears whispers suggesting that she may not have been there of her own will.

A/N: As stated in the title, this is a spinoff. If you have yet to check out the main story, it's probably better to read that before starting this.

Main Story | Spinoff Masterlist | Part 2

"If you're just going to hide in the corner and not even attempt to attract potential clients, then make yourself useful and collect my new hair accessories from this shop," commanded Iseul, one of the more senior courtesans, as she handed you an invoice listing her orders for specific designs.

Rather than protesting or attempting to evade the task as she had anticipated, you enthusiastically agreed, "Of course, unnie!" before taking the document from her and dashing out of the brothel.

"Thank heavens. Anything to escape that dreadful place," you whispered to yourself, clutching the parchment close to your chest. You were relieved to be away from the hellhole that was supposed to be your new home, even if only for a bit.

Instead of keeping an eye out for the shop whose name and address were stated on the invoice, all you could concentrate on was the sight of ordinary people living their lives freely. You remembered once dreading the idea of having to marry out of obligation once you reached a certain age, but now you would gladly choose that life over this one. At least then, you would only belong to one man instead of any man willing to pay for your company or... services now.

Had you known a week ago how drastically your life would change, you would have run away from home much sooner. You should have done it earlier, if only it weren't for your tender, foolish heart that still felt sorry for your deadbeat father. He had done nothing but drink and gamble away all the money you earned from washing dishes at a nearby food stall. And all of that just for him to sell you off to a brothel when he realised he had no money left to pay off his debts.

A week before today, he stumbled home reeking of alcohol and vomit after being gone all night. He moved to drag you to your feet while you were tidying up the shabby little home you had grown up in, his tight grasp tearing a hole in the thin, worn hanbok clinging to your frail frame. You struggled against his hold, crying out, "What in god's name are you doing, father?! Let me go!"

Confused about his intentions, as he typically treated you as if you were invisible and only approached you when he needed money, you received no response. He dragged you toward the entrance and threw you out, causing you to land roughly on the ground.

As you gazed at the expensive fabric before you, you looked up to see a well-dressed woman with heavy makeup smirking down at you, "You'll do just fine. Thank you, Mr. Han. We accept your payment. I hope you're comfortable with never seeing her again, unless you decide to pay the Mansion of Midnight a visit, of course."

Your heart stopped in recognition of the name. The Mansion of Midnight—the notorious brothel that had haunted your nightmares since you were old enough to understand its existence.

You couldn't believe it.

Refused to believe it.

How could your father do this to you? How could he sell his own daughter to such a place just to pay off his debts?

Anger and disbelief surged within you as you struggled to process the enormity of his betrayal. Tears welled up in your eyes as you fought against the overwhelming sense abandonment. Clutching the torn fabric of your hanbok, you felt a profound sense of loss and despair. This wasn't the life you had imagined for yourself, and yet here you were, thrust into a nightmare from which there seemed to be no escape.

Turning to look at him, you knew all hope was gone when you found him waving his hand dismissively in response to the woman you now recognised as the brothel madam, "Whatever, so long as this means my debts are cleared. Just take her and go."

His callous words pierced through you like a knife, confirming what you had feared deep down. There would be no rescue, no redemption in his eyes. He was willing to sacrifice you without a second thought, all for the sake of his own selfish reasons.

Disgust and rage bubbled up inside you as you stared at him, unable to comprehend how a father could abandon his own flesh and blood in such a manner. The man you once hoped would someday change for the better was now nothing more than a heartless stranger.

I guess I'm the fool for staying.

With a heavy heart, you turned away from him, silently vowing to never forgive him for his betrayal. In that moment, you knew you were alone in this world, left to fend for yourself in a cruel and unforgiving reality. But despite the overwhelming despair that threatened to consume you, you refused to give up hope. You would find a way to survive, to reclaim your dignity and freedom.

Now, trapped in this place, you cursed yourself for even pitying him when you should have abandoned him, just like your mother did when you were merely a child. She left him for someone who could offer her a better life, one with no room for you. She left you with this sorry excuse of a man. Sometimes, you wonder why they bothered bringing you into this world in the first place, just for you to endure a life filled with so much unhappiness.

Lost in thought and unaware of your surroundings, a startled gasp escaped your lips as your shoulder bumped into another man's, causing the parchment in your hand to slip to the ground along with a few items belonging to him, "Oh dear, I'm terribly sorry! I should have been more attentive. Here, let me help you gather your belongings," you apologised hastily, scrambling to collect his things while he did the same. Your movements paused when he accidentally grabbed your hand as you both reached for the same item.

"It's fine, my lady. Let me take care of it—"

As you lifted your heads to meet each other's gaze, your breath caught in your throat upon making eye contact. While you internally chuckled with a mixture of disbelief and sadness, realising how romantic this first encounter with this good-looking stranger could have potentially been if only you were an ordinary girl, he was too captivated by your beauty to utter a word.

So beautiful.

As Wooyoung took in the stunning lady before him, his heart skipped a beat. After encountering a woman as beautiful as Lady Park, he had almost resigned himself to the idea that he wouldn't find anyone more gorgeous. Yet, today, he found hope as he marvelled at you.

Judging from your initial reaction upon bumping into him, you were clearly not some rich little spoiled brat. There was a genuineness about you, a humility that spoke volumes to him.

Now, he just had to put his investigator skills to good use; find out who you were, which house you hailed from, and whether you were betrothed to another. If all went according to plan, he envisioned courting you, and perhaps, finally experiencing what it was like to have the kind of connection General Park and his wife shared—a love that transcended time and circumstance.

With determination in his heart, Wooyoung made a mental note to uncover the identity of this intriguing woman. You were a rare gem amidst the chaos of this world, and he was determined to unravel the mystery surrounding you.

As his gaze lingered on you, self-consciousness crept in. What if he was seeing through your identity? What if he knew the kind of job you were meant to be doing? The thought made you uneasy. Was that why he couldn't take his eyes off you? Perhaps it was his first time seeing a courtesan up close?

He could be disgusted for all you knew.

Blinking rapidly, you pulled your hand away and hurriedly stood up. Without giving him another chance to speak, you bowed deeply and politely excused yourself. You could still feel his intense stare burning into your back as you ran off, eager to get away from him for fear of his potential reaction when he realised what you were.

Tears of frustration blurred your vision as you struggled to focus on finding the damn shop you were meant to visit. Your heart felt heavy with hopelessness, knowing that thanks to your father, your life would never be the same. It was ruined now, irreversibly altered by his selfish actions.

Even if you were to somehow make your escape from this nightmare, your reputation would forever be tainted by this part of your history. There was no way you'd be able to hide the truth from anyone—the truth that you were once a courtesan at the Mansion of Midnight. The thought filled you with despair. No one would ever be able to accept you, nobody decent ever would.

Each step felt like a burden as you trudged along the unfamiliar streets. The world seemed bleak and unforgiving, with no glimmer of hope on the horizon. You felt utterly alone, with nowhere to turn and no one to confide in.

Help. Somebody, please help me.

Watching the mysterious, beautiful stranger he had encountered run off in the opposite direction, the investigator felt his heart pound in his chest. He tried to commit the image of your angelic features to memory, already excited to learn more about you.

For once, after completing his last assignment at the general's estate, he felt a glimmer of hope. Seonghwa had dismissed not only him but also Yunho and Hongjoong as soon as his grand wedding ceremony in the palace ended, expressing his desire for some alone time with his beloved wife. It seemed like everyone was moving on with their lives; the last Wooyoung had heard, the physician had returned to his clinic, and the dressmaker had resumed operations at his shop, both happy to grant the couple their much-needed honeymoon.

Except for him.

He had missed the thrill of working for the great General Park. While he loved his job, no other cases could ever compare to the adrenaline rush of working for his role model. Besides, that wasn't the only perk; he also had the opportunity to see the beautiful Lady Park nearly every day. He had been feeling bored, merely going through the motions with his current case until now.

His passion for investigating was reignited.

Screw his current case; it wasn't that important anyway. He had been hired by some wealthy old noblewoman to investigate whether her husband was cheating on her. It was while he was tailing the sleazy old man that he found himself in this part of town. But it looked like his new employer's case would have to take a back seat for now. Perhaps he should thank the old couple; otherwise, he wouldn't have stumbled upon his new dream girl today.

Yes, his new dream girl, because until just moments ago, that position had been occupied by Seonghwa's wife. Luckily for him, the general never discovered his tiny crush on her; otherwise, leaving the estate unscathed might have proven difficult. Jongho and Hongjoong had graciously kept his secret, for which he felt eternal gratitude. For his sake, he sincerely hoped the two would carry this secret to their graves. After all, he now has a new goddess to worship.

Without wasting a moment, Wooyoung immediately approached the people around him who had witnessed his accidental collision with you. Although most shook their heads, claiming they didn't recognise you, he tried not to be discouraged. With his skills, he knew he could gather all the information he needed in no time.

That night, he returned home and sketched the enchanting features he still vividly remembered before going to bed. His mind buzzed with the possibilities of who you could be. The following day, he planned to inquire again, armed with the drawing he had created. As the famous investigator Jung Wooyoung, he believed there was nothing he couldn't find if he set his mind to it. And now, he was investing even his heart into it.

The next morning, he rose extra early, having barely slept as endless thoughts of the mysterious beauty consumed his dreams throughout the night. He hastily devoured the breakfast prepared by his servants, bid his parents goodbye, and rushed out of his family estate toward that part of town once again. Eager to learn more about you immediately, he clutched the drawing tightly in his hand, feeling a glimmer of hope.

As he questioned people with the help of his sketch, some claimed to have seen you around but didn't know enough about you to provide further details. Nonetheless, it was a promising start. Surely, as he ventured closer to where you first emerged the day before, he would come across people who knew you.

True enough, it didn't take long for him to find someone who recognised the sweet face from his drawing. The middle-aged man smirked as he glanced at the parchment in Wooyoung's hands, "She's quite the beauty, isn't she? That, right there, is the newest recruit at the Mansion of Midnight."

"The Mansion of Midnight...?"

"Yes, it's the most well-known brothel in town, young man. Don't tell me you haven't heard of it? I suppose your young age explains it. Most of the patrons are older men, but I expected you would at least have heard of it. If you're looking for a future wife, she might not be the one for you. Beautiful as she is, she's merely a courtesan. Go find yourself a proper lady, son."

Disappointment crashed over him like a wave, his heart plummeting at the revelation. A courtesan...? All his idealistic fantasies of courting you shattered in an instant. He should have realised it was too good to be true. How could he have thought he found his own Lady Park so easily? With a heavy heart, he stuffed the piece of paper back into his pocket and trudged away, head bowed in shame. What would his parents or friends think if they knew he had been foolish enough to pursue a worker from a brothel?

Determined to rid his mind of thoughts of you, he committed himself to refocusing on his current case. In the following days, he threw himself into his work, seeking distraction like a heartbroken man. He constantly reminded himself that it was irrational to feel such strong emotions for someone he barely knew. Deep down, he knew that his infatuation was only with an idealised version of you, and not the actual you. Yet, despite this awareness, he still struggled to let go.

With a sigh, he scolded himself for letting thoughts of you distract him again while tailing his employer's husband. Shaking his head, he forced himself to focus on the task at hand—to observe the old man's interactions and track his movements. His heart sank as he realised the intimidating building his target eagerly approached. Numerous women, adorned in heavy makeup and revealing hanboks, lingered near the entrance, attempting to attract potential clients. The words 'Mansion of Midnight' adorned a large sign in the centre of the establishment, with red curtains billowing out from open windows of various rooms on the upper floors.

Of course, it had to be here.

Suddenly, a dreadful thought struck him.

He shuddered at the possibility of you being the company his target had been seeking all along. The mere idea felt repulsive—a vision of that old man with his hands all over your delicate form. He turned to leave, no longer willing to entertain such sickening scenarios involving you. At least the case was closed. He had obtained the answers his employer sought; her husband had been frequenting the brothel. Whether or not that constituted cheating would be for her to decide. He was finished and wanted to put as much distance between himself and this place as possible.

As he tried to leave the area, his steps faltered when he overheard a conversation between a stall owner and their customer, "Have you heard about the new courtesan at the Mansion of Midnight? I heard the poor thing is there against her will, that's why she always looks so sad. Apparently, her father sold her to settle his debts—"

That was all he needed to hear before a pang of regret pierced his heart. Why hadn't he investigated more thoroughly? Why had he given up on you so easily? If that were true, you must have been terrified. The idea of your own father doing this to you made his blood boil. Suddenly, he found himself understanding General Park's fury towards the former Minister Jang all too well.

Useless son of a—

A sudden wave of protectiveness engulfed him as he felt the urgent need to rescue you. Acting on impulse, he swiftly turned around and sprinted back toward the brothel. It wasn't until he reached the establishment again that he realised he lacked a plan. What was his next move after discovering your actual situation?

Think, Jung Wooyoung, think!

Before he could even formulate a plan, one of the courtesans approached him, her demeanour dripping with seduction. She pressed her chest against his side, trailing a seductive finger across his chest. Her mouth watered at the thought of entertaining such a young and dashing man after dealing with disgusting old men for so long, "Hello there, handsome. Would you like to spend a little time with us? Have some fun? Here at the Mansion of Midnight, we provide only the best services," she purred, winking at him. He struggled to push her off without appearing too rude, feeling incredibly uncomfortable with her touchiness.

"I-I... yes, I'd like to spend some time with the newest courtesan here, please," he stuttered, managing to free himself from her grasp.

With a scoff, she crossed her arms over her chest in disbelief, "You mean Miss Han? Why? Just because she's new? She's been here for a week and is still a virgin. I assure you, experienced courtesans like myself would know better how to satisfy you."

As she attempted to promote herself further, an older woman who appeared to be in charge intervened, glaring at her, "Enough, Iseul. What did I say about respecting our client's wishes? It's not you he wants. Accept it and move along," she reprimanded. Turning to Wooyoung, the brothel madam grinned, "So, you'd like to request Miss Han, hm? I understand. She's around your age and is still pure. If I were you, she might be the only one I'd want too. Tell me, how long would you like to spend with her? An hour or two?"

"I want her to myself for the rest of the day."

"Miss Han, you fortunate little thing! Congratulations on securing your very first client. This dashing young man seems utterly smitten by you, to have reserved your company for the entire evening."

You tightly clenched your trembling fists to your chest, suppressing a terrified whimper as you listened to the brothel madam's devious teasing. You had prayed fervently that nobody would request your services, doing everything you could to remain inconspicuous over the past week, hoping they might see you as more suitable for hard labour; you'd much rather be the lowest servant than do any of this.

Yet, here you were, already with your first client, and not just any client—this man had gone as far as to secure your companionship for the entire day. Such occurrences were rare, even for the most sought-after courtesans in this establishment. You couldn't fathom who this person might be, how he had learned of you, and why he'd spend so much to buy your time.

"Wh-who is it? This customer..."

"Wouldn't you like to know? It's none other than the famous private investigator Jung Wooyoung, known for his significant role in aiding General Park's capture of former Minister Jang. I suppose even men with a strong sense of justice are still susceptible to desire," The sly woman drawled, winking at you, "Don't disappoint us, girl. A client of his calibre could become a valuable long-term patron. Treat him well."

In anticipation of this highly significant new client, they went to great lengths to prepare you. After informing you of the news, the brothel madam called upon a team of staff to bathe you and dress you in a seemingly brand-new hanbok. It was almost as revealing as the ones worn daily by Iseul and the other popular courtesans. Usually, newer girls like yourself were given hand-me-down hanboks that were less appealing, given your status. However, this didn't alleviate the pressure you were feeling; if anything, it intensified, knowing how valuable this client must be.

God, why? Why me, of all people?

You should have known that all men were alike. No matter how noble or upright they might seem, they were ultimately driven by temptation. At the end of the day, they all desired the same thing. You could only hope that he would at least go easy on you. Your heart raced in your chest as you sat on the bed in the room assigned to you and him for the night, waiting for him.

To steady your trembling hands, you balled them into fists, feeling your nails dig into the skin of your palm with such force that you were certain they would break soon. Just as you were about to sink deeper into your endless pool of misery, you froze at the sound of footsteps approaching the room. Internally cursing your father once more, you braced yourself for what lay ahead.

"This way, Mr. Jung. She's ready for you."

Hearing those words turned your stomach. Yes, this was your current reality. You were nothing more than a commodity—a comfort woman for hire. An object for men to exploit when they sought release, to use as they pleased, as long as they could pay for it.

As you accepted your fate, you closed your eyes and bowed your head, the wooden door creaking open slowly. There was no escape from this—his reservation for the entire evening could only mean one thing. He hadn't bought your time just for conversation and a meal. No, he was here for the reason most men visited a brothel. This was it; this was how you'd lose your innocence.

"Miss Han...?" The man's uncertain voice echoed through the room.

Lifting your gaze to meet the individual who would be claiming your innocence tonight, your eyes widened in recognition as soon as you laid eyes on him. He was the handsome stranger you had collided with the other day. With a gasp, you uttered, "It's you..."

"So, y-you're the famous private investigator? Wh-what are you doing here?" You asked, then shook your head and cleared your throat, "Wait, I'm sorry. That was a foolish question; everyone knows why men come here." Inside, you couldn't deny the disappointment. His initial impression had been shattered now that you knew he was your first client. He didn't seem like the type to visit such places, but you supposed you couldn't judge a book by its cover.

His eyes widened at your implication, and he quickly shook his head, waving his hands to deny it as he stepped closer to you. Seeing you visibly shrink back, he made sure to keep a respectful distance, "No, you don't understand. I'm not here for that, Miss Han."

Lowering his voice, he took a seat in the nearest chair and continued, "I'm here to help you. My name is Wooyoung, as you already know, and I'm an investigator. I heard you're here against your will because of your father. Is that right?"

He fought to keep his composure, trying not to let his gaze linger too long on your features. He could feel the blush creeping up his cheeks as he struggled not to let his eyes wander further down to the sheer hanbok, which left your bare shoulders exposed thanks to its see-through material. Typically, such hanboks were reserved for married women about to spend the night with their husbands. The realisation that he was alone in a room with his dream girl dressed like that was enough to leave him flustered.

But he knew he needed to focus on the task at hand. Now was not the time to be feeling shy or distracted. He had a more important mission: to get you the hell out of here. So, he pushed aside his feelings and did his best to remain composed for your sake.

Nodding slowly, you furrowed your brows with scepticism, "Help me? Why? You don't even know me. What's in it for you? I have no money, and the only thing I can offer is..." Your voice trailed off as you glanced down at your body. Your distrust was palpable as you considered whether you could trust him. Just because he was the investigator who helped General Park capture the former Minister of Military Affairs didn't mean he had any obligation to you.

Understanding your hesitation, Wooyoung sighed deeply. He sympathised with your reluctance to trust a stranger, especially considering the betrayal you had experienced from someone you should have been able to rely on. He didn't blame you for questioning his motives; it was a reasonable response given the circumstances.

He looked into your eyes with a sincerity that struck you deeply, "Listen, not all men are like that," he said earnestly, "I know it may seem difficult for you to believe that someone would be willing to help you without expecting anything in return, but I'm here to prove to you that we exist. I'll admit your beauty captivated me initially, and I genuinely intended to court you. But after learning the truth about your situation, what kind of person would I be to not help? I won't rest until I get you out of here."

His words struck a chord within you, and there was a sincerity in his tone that you had rarely heard, not even from the people you called your parents. Despite your initial scepticism, you decided to believe him, if only for this moment. After all, if someone truly wanted to rescue you from this dreadful place, who were you to object?

You suppressed the shyness that arose upon his admission of his intentions to court you. Memories of your first encounter with him flooded back, making you ponder how different things might have been if you were an ordinary girl. Nevertheless, you were grateful he hadn't given up on you despite discovering your identity. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to have a friend in him.

Moving to sit across from him at the dining table in the centre of the room, you nervously fidgeted with your fingers, "Alright, Mr. Jung. I'll choose to trust you. I appreciate your efforts to help me, but... how do you plan to do that? The Mansion of Midnight isn't a small establishment. They've been around for as long as I can remember, and none of the girls working here have been able to just walk out as they please. As far as I know, I'm part of their property now."

"Not if I can help it. The larger the establishment, the more skeletons they have in their closet. Especially in a place like a brothel, I doubt their operations are entirely above board," he explained, "I'll keep returning for the next week, and buy up all your time. That'll keep other patrons away. Meanwhile, I'll use that time to snoop around. Trust me, we're getting you out of here, no matter what." He reassured you with a warm smile gorgeous enough to melt your heart, but you didn't let it show.

I most certainly hope so, Mr. Jung.

You couldn't help but admire his unwavering determination, even though a part of you hesitated to allow yourself to feel hopeful. You dared not raise your hopes too high, afraid of the crushing disappointment that would follow if his plan were to fail. Yet, at this moment, you were grateful to have crossed paths with him, whether or not he'd be able to get you out of here.

« Preview of Part 2 »

"Sir, Investigator Jung is here to see you," Jongho announced at the entrance of his master's study, an anxious Wooyoung standing beside him. The general raised his brows in surprise, "At this hour? Let him in."

Without hesitation, the investigator rushed into the room, "My lord, I apologise for showing up unannounced so late at night! I know you said not to bother you and Lady Park for the time being, but there's something urgent that I need help with—"

"Woah, breathe, Wooyoung. Calm down and take a seat. Jongho, please bring us some tea," With a bow, the assistant moved to leave before halting when Seonghwa called out to him again, "Wait! On your way back, let the mistress know not to wait up for me. I have a feeling this won't be a short meeting."

"Of course, sir," the assistant replied.

Feeling guilty for getting in the way of what should have been the couple's honeymoon time, the younger man sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, "Gosh, I really am sorry to intrude on your alone time with your wife."

The general smiled reassuringly, shaking his head, "Please don't worry about it. It must be important for you to rush here so late. Besides, you've helped me plenty before. It's only right for me to return the favour now. Tell me, what do you need help with?"

"I know I previously declined the bonus incentives you offered, but... would it be alright for me to accept them now?"

Wooyoung hadn't fully considered the financial implications when he confidently promised to return to the Mansion of Midnight every day for the next week. It dawned on him how costly even one night there had been. He couldn't possibly ask his parents for money to be spent on a brothel. Despite it being for a noble cause, they'd have a heart attack. So, he had no choice but to seek financial assistance from Seonghwa.

I was initially going to make this into a oneshot, but that would take me too long to post and I didn't want to make y'all wait any longer than you already have! So, voila! I'm breaking this into 2 parts. The next part will be the second and final part of this spinoff.

As always, thank you for reading and let me know your thoughts! <3

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[commandershepardvasfuckit]

An Arranged Marriage, part 9

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

M!troll x f!reader

1.5k words

Finally home and safe you have a lot of questions and a lot to think about. Your gratefulness for Zen'jan's rescue does not negate the uneasiness of what you saw at the camp or your distrust of Tsov'ka.

--------

“You don’t have to carry me the whole way home” you protested, squirming a bit in Zen’jan’s arms.

“I do not have to, but I want to. Please let me” he responded. “Anyways, you are cold and tired, and you cannot see as well in the dark as I can, I do not want you to trip over anything”.

“Aren’t I too heavy for you be carrying around?”

“I am strong enough, and I want to do this for you anyways”.

That seemed to end the discussion, instead you closed your eyes and tried to focus on the smell of incense.

It was still early when you reached the city, the sun was only starting to rise and only a few people were out and about yet. They looked on but did not dare say a word as a blood covered Zen’jan carried you through the streets.

A wave of relief washed over you as he carried you through the doorway, finally being home, finally feeling like you could take a deep breath.

“I am going to run you a hot bath, you need to clean off” he told you as he carried you to the bathroom still not setting you down though yet.

“I’m alright, you should probably go clean up first anyways” you insisted.

“I will be fine, I can clean up out here, you need to warm up though. And I will just be right out here if you need anything, alright?” he sat you on the edge of the tub and started to fill the bath. “And when you are ready, we can talk about everything. You can ask anything you want and I will answer. I want you to be comfortable around me, if you choose to stay that is, so I want to put your mind at ease”.

You nodded. You had been doing your best to scrub the gore stained image of the camp from your mind, trying to put Zen’jan back into the little box of just being a doting husband and nothing more. It was hard going back to that image with him standing next to you covered in blood.

“Yeah” you said dryly.

He bumped his head against your’s and stayed pressed against you for a moment before seeing himself out.

The warm water felt good on your cold skin and you quickly began cleaning the dirt and blood off you. You scrubbed at your skin until it was raw, like you were trying to scour the memory of the last few hours off of you. For once you did not stay and soak in the tub, instead draining the water and then quickly rinsing yourself under the tap to remove every trace of the last day from you.

As you stepped out of the tub you noticed you did not have clean clothes in the bathroom to change into. You wrapped up in your bath towel and poked your head out the door to ask Zen’jan to bring you something, but to your surprise there was a tidy pile of clothes waiting for you on the floor already. Hastily you grabbed them and dressed.

You wandered back into the main room to find Zen’jan sitting at the lit hearth and wiping himself off with a washcloth and a bucket of water that looked to come from one of the wells outside.

Without a word you sat next to him and took the washcloth from his hand, “May I?” you asked and he reached out his arm for you to clean. Carefully you wiped off every inch of his arm, paying close attention to get everything before moving on to clean his other arm.

Once you were satisfied with with both arms you placed your free hand under his chin and began to gently clean his face.

He watched you so closely, often looking like he wanted to say something and then stopping himself. There was an emotion on his face you could not quite place, at moments it looked like a profound sorrow, or disbelief, that eventually gave way to something more identifiable: longing.

“I am still sorry I did not do this for you, back on the first night” he broke the silence.

“It’s ok, I don’t think I would have let you anyways”.

“But I should have left the hold with you, walked you home, talked to you, and helped you settle in. Maybe I could have explained it to you, maybe you would have let me clean you off, maybe we could have had a better start” he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to yours.

You did not pull away or shy back, instead you leaned in more, nuzzling against him the same way he had nuzzled you the other week. He placed his hand on the back of your head and held you close against him.

“I take it that means you want to stay?” you could hear the relief in his voice when he asked.

You placed your hand on the back of his head and gently pulled him a little closer, unable to really find words but hoping that it was enough.

“You really do not know how happy I am that you still want to be here. Now, I did promise you some answers” he said as he pulled back, “I want you to understand me because I think it will help you be more comfortable”.

“Your common, why are you always so formal?” you asked.

“My common? It is my fourth language, and that also not the sort of question I meant, I think you know that. We can talk about my common later, I promise”.

You had questions for sure, but you had done such a good job of pushing everything down. The worst of the anger you had at him for dragging you to Tsov’ka’s shrine without warning was gone, the fear of Tsov’ka was not though.

“What exactly is Tsov’ka god of?” you asked.

“The shadows, the night, darkness in general, but I think my understanding of it is different than yours” he said.

By now you had finished cleaning his face and had moved on to wiping off his tusks, though the blood had dried into the carvings on them and was proving to be difficult to clean off.

“Then tell me your understanding of it then” you said.

He let out a low hum before speaking, “The shadows give protection, a safe place to hide, there’s also a comfort in the stillness of the night. And you cannot have shadows without light, they are not opposites, they are more intertwined than that, if that makes sense”.

It did not make much sense to you, but you wanted to trust him. The Light was warmth and protection, the Shadows were the opposite, though looking at Zen’jan it was getting harder to accept that the Shadows were as simple as you were taught.

“So, what is an avatar of a god anyways?” you asked.

“Someone chosen by that god to wield their power at times. Having avatars strengthens a god’s influence here in the physical realm, lets their power interact more directly with this world and reinforces their ties with it, and their chosen gets the benefit of that power time to time”.

“But what does that actually mean? What did you actually do at the camp?”

“Are you sure that is what you want to know?” he asked.

“Yes”

“Tsov’ka takes many forms, but mostly appears as a great black jungle cat. He allows his avatars to take his form and be one with the shadows, to fight with fang and claw but be as intangible as the darkness itself”.

The horrid snarling and growling you heard at the camp made more sense now, it had sent chills down your spine but you supposed a great beast made of the shadows would have that effect on most people.

“Do you always fight like that?” you asked.

“No, almost never. It is exhausting and pulls you more into the Nothingness each time. Mortal souls are not meant to be in the Nothingness, only this realm or Reli’s, to be pulled fully into it would pull your soul apart entirely”.

The weight of the situation was setting in, the level of sacrifice he was willing to accept if necessary. Tsov’ka and the Shadows still made you uncomfortable, but undeniably Zen’jan was a good man.

You wrapped your arms around him and hugged on tightly. He had made mistakes, so had you, but even after you screamed at him in fear, even after how hurt he looked when you yelled at him he still risked himself to protect you. He still thought of you before thinking of himself.

You did not choose him, you would have never gotten to choose who you were with anyways, but you got the feeling you were doing much better here with Zen’jan than with any of the upstart naval officers your kingdom had to offer.

Part 10

[reallychaoticwoo]

Hi babe!! How do you think the different ateez members would be with a gf who is a single mom? Especially if a 1 y/o baby girl? I see all of them as girl dads, but truly you can choose any age or gender for the baby. Also, for obvious reasons, fem reader :). Love you 💕💕

Hello again doll 🖤🖤 Of course I am more than happy to do this as a momma myself 🖤 ��Overview: Ateez members meeting you and your 4 year old daughter for the first time and what became of it.

‼️This is gonna have to be a two parter, so bare with me 😅😅 I may have gotten a bit carried away. I did get my sister's help with these so everyone say thank you lol 🖤🖤

❤️Pairing: individual ot8 x reader

⚠️Warnings: Probably some cussing, mentions of dead father, Wooyoung being a little shit. Let me know if I missed anything

✨️This is purely for entertainment purposes and does not represent the idols in any way

🖤As always I hope you enjoy!

🧸Ateez meeting Y/N, a single mom. Part 1🧸

Part two

Hongjoong:

Walking into the music store wasn't something you expected to be doing today, but your daughter would not let up about wanting to learn to play the guitar, and she just needed to go look at some right now. So you gave in, taking her inside and looking around. You'd gotten a little distracted looking at a violin, reminiscing over when you used to play, when your daughter slipped away. Of course, she headed straight for the guitars. They were only a few feet away, and she ran straight into a man with burnt orange hair stumbling back a bit before catching herself. "Oh, uh, what are you doing in her cutie? Where's your parents?" He asked her, looking around, trying to find anyone who seemed like they were missing a child. Just that second you rounded the corner, "Oh sweetie, there you are! I told you not to leave my side." You said, looking at her sternly, before turning to look at the man, "I am so sorry about that. I looked away for two seconds." He assured you it was fine, asking your daughter why she was running to the guitars in the first place. "Oh, she wants to learn to play and insisted I bring her to look at them. I figured looking wouldn't hurt. I'd get her one, but I know absolutely nothing about guitars or where to even begin trying to find a teacher." You started rambling. He was gorgeous, and you found yourself a little embarrassed and flustered as he listened to what you were saying. He chuckled, noticing how you seemed a little overwhelmed, "I could help you find one if you'd like. I play a little, so I definitely know the best ones for beginners and more advanced options."He offered. You smiled shyly, nodding at him in thanks. Your daughter, however, had other plans, "Mommyyy, he said he plays!! He could teach me! Can the pretty man teach me, Mommy? Plleaaasseeeee??" She begged looking at you with pleading eyes. You glanced at him, a look of shock and mild panic on his face, before looking back to your daughter. "Now sweetie, I'm sure he's very busy we can't just go demanding lessons from strangers." Your daughter turned to look at him, giving him her best puppy dog eyes and lip pout to this day, "Pleaaaaseeeee will you teach me to play the guitar pretty man? Pllleeeeeaaaaassseeeeee.." She begged. He chuckled at the nickname given to him by your four year old and kneeled down to be eye level with her. "I will teach you one thing if you promise to listen to your pretty mommy and be good for her." He said, patting her head. "Okay, I'll be good!" She exclaimed, looking up at you with the biggest cheesiest grin on her face. He sat down with her and explained one of the easiest chords he knew to her, smiling brightly when she picked it up rather quickly. Heading back to you, smiling brightly, "Mommy, the pretty man taught me to play guitar!" Your daughter beamed at you. "Honey, I'm sure the pretty man has a name." You said, smiling down at her enthusiasm. "I do, it's Hongjoong." He said, looking at you with a smile. "Well, Hongjoong, thank you for taking time to teach her something. I really appreciate it. I'd love to maybe take you out to dinner sometime? As a thank you." You said smiling warmly at him. "If teaching her one chord gets me a date with her pretty mom, then she may have just found herself a teacher. He replied, handing you his phone with a cheeky wink.

Seonghwa:

Your daughter was exploring the Lego store and came across a big Star Wars set, "Mommy! Mommy! Can I get that one?? Pweeaaaseeee!?!" She asked, giving you her best puppy dog eyes and pouty lip. "Sweetheart, we can't afford that.. I'm sorry." You sighed, patting her head, "why don't we keep looking, I'm sure we'll find something." Seonghwa couldn't help but overhear and walked over. "I don't mean to intrude, but I couldn't help but overhear this sweet baby asking for that big Star Wars set. I just bought this one and realized I already have one at home. If mom doesn't mind, I'd be more than happy to give it to her." He was smiling down at your daughter before looking up at you awaiting your reply. "Are you sure? It's okay really, we were going to keep looking. Plus its a bit too advanced for her age." You replied. "More than sure, and I'm happy to help her build it. As long as that's okay with you?" He shot you a warm smile. "PLEAASSEEE MOMMYYYY can we please go build legos??" Your daughter asked, practically jumping in excitement. You looked at her and back to the man in front of you, "Okay, let's go." You said looking at your daughter fondly. "Thank you, uh.. I'm sorry I didn't catch your name?" "Seonghwa, and no need to thank me. I couldn't bare to see a little Lego lover so sad." You sat down in a seating area near the store and the two of them got to work. You'd noticed Seonghwa checking the directions pretty frequently, making you question if he actually already had the set at home, but you decided to leave it be. You were just grateful for his kindness towards your daughter. He was being so patient with her, teaching her where all the little pieces went asking her about what other kinds of toys she liked. You'd overheard him asking about you and not long after your daughter skipped up to you, "Mommy, Hwa wants to know if you'll come build legos with us?" Her big doe eyes pleading with you. "Oh, he does?" You looked at the man with a playful quirk of the brow. He just smiled back shyly. After some conversation between the three of you, Seonghwa reluctantly said he had to leave as he had somewhere to be soon. "But - but mommy, I want to show Hwa when I'm done!" Your daughter said, tears starting to well in her eyes. Seonghwa looked down at her and then to you. "I could uh, give you my number so you can text me when she's finished." He offered. "YES!! Pleaseee mommy!!" She said tugging on the bottom of your shirt. "Yes, that'd be nice. Thank you for building with her, you made her whole day." You smiled at him handing him your phone. He put his number in, "Don't thank me I enjoyed every minute of her happiness. And it was nice getting to talk to her pretty mom too."

Yunho:

It was your first weekend in months you weren't swamped with work. Deciding to take full advantage of your free time, you took your daughter to the arcade. Walking in your daughter immediately squealed in excitement, grabbing your wrist and pulling you over to the dancing games first. After several rounds and some pouting due to unperfect scores, she decided she wanted to try racing games. "Mommy, I wanna drive!" She exclaimed, pointing to one of the race car simulating games. "Baby, you're too short. You can't reach the peddles." You said, looking at her sympathetically. "But mommyy, I want to drive! It looks fun. I wanna be a big girl like mommy and drive!" She stomped her little foot, pouting. Just then, a very tall man walked up to the two of you, "I couldn't help but overhear, I could help her drive if you're comfortable with that? I think I might be tall enough, right?" He offered, directing that last sentence to your daughter, causing you both to giggle at this ridiculously tall man. "I think that would be okay.." You said, turning to look at your daughter, "what do you think, sweetie? Think he can reach?" You asked with a chuckle. "Yes, pweaseee!! Thank you, Mr. Giraffe!" She exclaimed, looking up at him with a bright smile. "Giraffe? I'm a giraffe?" He questioned, laughing at how adorable the nickname was. "I kinda like it! But, you can call me Yunho, since that's my name." He bent down, ruffling her hair, while looking up at you. "Otays, Mr giraffe Yunho! Can we go play now?" She asked, pulling on his pant leg. About 10 minutes into watching them play, hearing laughs come from your daughter you haven't heard from her since before her dad passed, you looked down at your phone and noticed it was almost time for bed. "Sweetheart, I know you're having so much fun right now, but we need to head home and get you to bed." You said softly, walking up to the game to help her down. "Nooooo, I don't want to go home. I want to stay with Yuyu!" She cried, holding onto Yunho. He pulled her back and gave her a pat on the head before setting her on the floor, "I know, and I want to play too, but you need to listen to your mommy. You gotta get some sleep so you can grow big and tall. So next time you won't need my help and you can play by yourself." She pouted, rubbing her eyes. "I don't want to play by myself anymore, I want to play with you forever!" You smiled sadly at her, knowing exactly what your daughter meant by that. Turning to Yunho, you said, "Thank you again. It's been a long time since I've seen her smile and laugh this much. She hasn't been that happy since her dad passed last year. You helping her play that game made her night and means a lot to me." Picking your pouting, sleepy daughter up to head to leave, Yunho stopped you. "I'd be more than happy to continue hanging out with the both of you, if you'd like?" He said timidly. "I, we would really like that." You replied, a fond smile on your face.

Yeosang:

You're sitting down at a restaurant with your daughter when two good-looking guys sit at the table next to you. "Look, Mommy! That guy looks like a prince!" your daughter says loudly, pointing at the blonde one. "Yes baby, he does, but you can't say that stuff so loud, and it's rude to point." You say a little embarrassed because they most definitely heard what she said given the fact the the one with black hair is giggling like a maniac "But mommy, that means he must have a castle and I wanna go!" She says, getting up and walking towards them."Excuse me Mr prince, can you take me to your castle? pwease I've always wanted to see one." She says, batting her eyelashes at the blodne haired man. You quickly follow after her. "I'm so sorry she's only 4, and she really loves fairy tales. Mostly the princes and castles." You say embarrassed. "Yeah, come on, Yeosang, show the little princess your castle," the black haired one says with a shit eating grin, causing Yeosang to look down, trying to hide his blush. "I'm not the princess," your daughter says to the black haired one. "My mommy is because princesses marry the princes, and I'm not old enough to marry anyone yet." She says matter of factly. With a little nod agreeing with her, Wooyoung replies, "You're so right, little one! So does that mean my friend, the prince here, should be courting your mommy? " He says, nudging Yeosang, who has yet to look up. Yeosang shyly looks to your daughter, "I would be horrored given that your mommy is a very beautiful princess, but I believe that princess should choose their prince." He said, sparing a shy smile towards you. "Well," you say, " I think I might be willing to give this one a chance." Both you and Yeosang are now smiling shyly at each other while Wooyoung and your daughter are sharing a victorious fist bump.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

⛓️If you'd like to be tagged in part 2, please let me know!(:

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hi there!

If you still take stardew valley requests please write hurt/comfort with Shane and (gn) reader about Shane getting progressively more worried about the farmer each time they go mining because of all the injuries they get there to the point where one day he snaps and breaks down in front of the farmer. It would be nice if you could show shane slowly loosing his mind each day but that would probably make the fic longer so no pressure. just pls make sure theres comfort after the hurt, bad endings make me sad :(

Thank you in advance, and even if you choose not to write this i hope you still have a lovely day.

I'm always down for Shane angst <3

In my main file I fear he's like this bc I'm constantly coming back from the dangerous mines/skull caverns on like 1 hp at 1:50 am

......

(Spring, Year 1)

"Hi, Shane!"

"God, what do you want now?"

"Nothing. I'm off to the mines." You grinned at the rugged man in front of you, holding up your pickaxe. "I'm shooting for level 120 this time, and hopefully I can pick up more gems along the way."

Shane raised a brow. "...and I care because?"

"You don't have to. Just thought I'd let you know."

'What? Like you think I'll go looking for you if you pass out? Forget it. Whatever happens is your own damn fault."

"I know the risks, but thank you." You politely answered, ignoring his blunt rudeness before checking the monster slayer guide. "The Adventurer's Guild wants me to slay a ton of bats...only 200 more to go."

""Adventurer's Guild?" Sounds stupid and childish." He grumbled, taking a swig of joja cola in his grasp. He was already running late to work, and he didn't want to get yelled at by Morris.

And he certainly didn't want you, the new farmer who made it their mission to annoy the shit out of him everyday, being the reason.

"Well it's neither of those things. It's actually thrilling." You chuckled, before digging an emerald out of your pocket. "I meant to sell this yesterday, but you can have it."

"...the hell? What am I supposed to do with this?" His brows furrowed at the green mineral you shoved into his hand.

"Keep it..for good luck, I guess?" You shrugged. "You can put it in your pocket and forget about it if you want. I just wanted to give you something nice. Plus, not to be weird, but...it kinda reminded me of your eye color."

Normally, any other villager would've been thrilled that you wanted to befriend them with gifts that reminded you of them.....

Yet Shane just stared at you as though you've confessed to stalking him.

"If you wanna give me something that's actually "nice", buy me a beer at the saloon next time." He sneered, brushing past you and continuing towards JojaMart, while you headed north of town, already knowing what you're gonna do tonight.

When you looked over your shoulder, you could see him pocket the emerald rather than throw it away despite him passing by several trash cans.

And you smiled.

.

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(Present Day)

"Awh, you still held onto that emerald even after all this time?"

"Yeah, so what? It was the first gift anyone's really given me.." Shane confessed, heat rising to his cheeks as he held the mineral between his fingers. "I never believed in all that crap about crystals and "energy" that Emily talks about. But..I just like keeping this one around. It's like...erm..."

"A testament to the start of our friendship and eventual marriage?" You cheekily grinned as you polished your weapon, before looking to your husband.

He nodded. "Exactly what I was gonna say."

"I know you so well." Chuckling, you walked over to kiss him on the cheek. "I'm gonna head to the mines, okay? Welwick says the spirits will shower everyone in good luck. I wanna see if the fabled prismatic shards really do exist."

Almost immediately, Shane froze..and he found himself wanting to desperately say "no" and convince you to stay on the farmhouse.

But he didn't know why.

From the moment he met you, he knew you sought adventure and profits in the mines, fighting all sorts of monsters for the Adventurer's Guild. He's seen skeletons, mummies, and golems caged up at Spirits' Eve festivals, but never the wild ones below the surface who attacked you relentlessly.

Yet you never let the constant dangers deter you from exploring.

Mining was exhausting work, yet rewarding every time you cracked a stone open to find a diamond or discovered a treasure chest. With the materials you've gathered, you were able to craft some rings to wear, enchanted with powers to help make your excursions easier and safer.

Despite being well-prepared, though, Shane did have his concerns...especially as once you came home after clashing with skeletons, a scar on your head from a flying femur bone that still hasn't fully healed.

You only went to Harvey to get it checked out after your husband--who was your boyfriend at the time--insisted on it.

Even before that, he'd see you around town, bearing a new bug bite, scratch, burn, bruise, or bandaid on your body.

It never worried him before, but after that skeleton incident, he finally understood that those monsters were real and you were seriously getting yourself hurt.

He'd go to the mines with you if not for his fears that he'll only make things worse. There's a good chance he'll slow you down and find himself getting swarmed by slimes, bats, bugs, and whatever the hell else was there....and he wasn't exactly the most fit to swing a sword or pickaxe.

Simple walks made him tired.

What good would he do?

"Shane? What's wrong?"

Blinking, he snapped out his thoughts and saw your concerned face. "Nothing, sweetheart." He dismissed, giving you a little smile. "Just be careful out there, alright? I'll take care of things here."

"Thank you, baby." Smiling back, you gave him a kiss before heading out the door with your backpack and tools. "Off to the bottom of the mines I go!"

Shane tensed.

"Wait-"

As quickly as the door opened, it slammed shut, and he was left by himself in the cabin.

It was an uncomfortable silence.

'Maybe I should've tagged along.....buh, what am I saying? They'll be fine. They do this all the time. Stop getting so worked up, idiot..' Clearing his mind yet again, he went off to check things around the farm for you, deciding to watch TV later on.

There was gonna be another Tunneler's game tonight, so at least he had that to look forward to.

Nothing like that, some good food in the fridge, and this cozy cabin he got to call home...

And it was all because of you.

If you could build everything here and still having the energy to go mining and fight monsters, why should he worry?

.

.

.

.

.

1:20 AM

After a productive day, Shane managed to fall asleep early for once.

Only be woken up by the creak of the bedroom door.

Light almost immediately flooded his vision, stirring him from his slumber as he grumbled and tried to shield his eyes, wondering what time it was.

"Fuck..morning already-?"

"No, honey..it's...just me. Sorry.."

He blinked, sitting up to see that it was only you coming into the room, removing your rings. One of them served as your light source, yet it didn't hide the numerous scratched and bruises that littered your skin.

And they were all fresh.

"Babe, wha...are you okay?" Shane was now fully awake, watching as you peeled off your jacket and trousers, tossing them into the corner of the room before dragging yourself into bed.

Only then could he see your injuries up close and personal, and his heart began racing. "What happened? You look like hell."

"I'm fine, Shane. I just..need to sleep it off.."

"B-But...there's blood everywhere.." He mumbled, his eyes going to the clothes in the corner. "I can call Harvey-"

"No..don't. I already patched myself up. I'll be fine in the morning..I just wanna be here with you." Smiling weakly, you kissed him, before putting the prismatic shard into his hand. "Look. It exists...haha...it's so pretty, right? It's yours."

He didn't know what to say, staring dumbfounded at the mineral.

What hell did you go through to get this?

And as much as he loved it..why get it for him?

Why risk your life?

But when he looked back to question you further, you were already passed out beside him, looking peaceful despite the wounds on your body.

Eventually, he slid the prismatic shard under his pillow and laid back down, only to hesitate in wrapping his arm around you.

All he could do was gaze at your exhausted face..and the dried blood under your nose.

Least to say, he had trouble falling back to sleep.

..........

Ever since that night, Shane's grown increasingly worried over your safety during your mining trips. And it began to affect his usual routine around the farm.

In fact, calling it "worry" at this point would be a heavy understatement..

It became straight-up paranoia.

Whether you headed off to the mines or Skull Caverns early because of an "extra lucky day" or simply because you needed a specific resource, you'd always come back home the same way:

At later hours, with more injuries and bandages than last time, constantly on the verge of passing out and barely able to hold a conversation with him.

Of course, you'd have breakfast with him, and you'd never leave the farmhouse without giving him a kiss...but it did nothing to ease his mind, as he'd constantly see your wounds and dread whatever horror stories you were about to tell him.

Even though you're perfectly nonchalant as you talk about a serpent who tried wrapping itself around you and squeeze every last breath out of your body, it made Shane feel utterly sick to his stomach.

How could you be so calm after so many brushes with death?

He didn't understand.

On the surface, he seemed fine with you leaving. But when you did, he'd find himself turning to beer to calm his nerves..although most days he was able to resist the urge and occupy himself with farming tasks or video games.

Despite this, he hasn't outright told you anything. He knew mining was your passion and thought you'd chastise him for "worrying over nothing".

So he kept it to himself, thinking his anxiety was being stupid.

Then the final straw came the evening when he got a call from Harvey's clinic around 5PM.

One that he hoped to never hear:

You passed out, and were currently being treated for serious injuries.

He bolted out the cabin, all the way to the town square and damn near broke the door down. There, Harvey, Linus, and Marlon were at your bedside, the latter two having brought you in after seeing you fall unconscious in from of the elevator, covered in blood and shrapnel.

Fortunately, you were expected to make a full recovery with just stitches and some IV fluids to rehydrate your body...but you still owed Shane one hell of an explanation.

This time around, you landed in an "infested" area of the 100s, trying to use a bomb to kill off most of the monsters.

Only to trip over a stupid lava crab and drop the bomb after you just ignited it, damn near losing your leg trying to kick it away from you in time.

And by the grace of Yoba, you were able to limp your way back to the ladder, return to floor zero, where Linus so-happened to be passing by the mine entrance.

You gave the poor old man quite a fright, as he didn't know how much blood on you was from the monsters...or you.

In the end, the bomb left shrapnel in your flesh, searing your clothing and requiring stitches to ensure you didn't bleed out. You appreciated Harvey for his quick work and for Linus and Marlon for taking you to him.

However nobody in that clinic was more terrified over your condition than Shane, who was in disbelief that you were able to stand and walk back home with him after getting discharged.

He wouldn't talk to you, although his hands shook as he helped you into bed, still sleeping beside you like he did every night before this.

But this time...he had the worst nightmare possible.

He was down in the mines with you, except he felt stuck and couldn't do anything to warn you or save you from the impending danger.

It was like he was spectating a game, instead forced to watch as the bats and monsters made of shadows descended upon you with their teeth bared and claws out, tearing into your body. You had yelled for him to save you, to stop being useless, damning him for not stopping you from leaving...yet their horrible noises drowned out any further shouts.

Then you were gone.

You were gone and he failed you.

And it was all his fault.

It made him joltbwide awake at 3 AM, and he felt like his heart was about to burst from his chest. His mind kept going to you, constantly checking to make sure you're still breathing, unable to fall back to sleep for a while.

When he did, he was in tears.

..........

"No."

"Shane, I know last night was bad. But I'm not-"

"You're not going to the mines today. I mean it."

Dumbfounded, you gazed at Shane, who was physically blocking you from leaving the cabin. A scowl was written all over his face.

You sighed and rubbed the side of your head. "It's only the first few levels, honey. Willy needed bug meat for-"

"Right. The "first few" you say, and then I'll get a call from Harvey at 2 AM about you needing emergency surgery again." He gritted his teeth, tears coming to his eyes. "Whatever he or anyone in this damn town needs in those mines can wait. Why can't you just stay?!"

"I don't understand.." Your eyebrows furrowed. "You never cared before if I went there. What changed?"

"What changed....? What changed is that I've been having a lot more of sleepless nights lately! I can barely eat or do anything except worry and worry about you. And it's because...because..." He trailed off.

"Because what?"

"......."

You sighed. "Shane, if you're not gonna tell me what's wrong, then I don't see why-"

"Because you've been scaring me to death okay?!" His hands now gripping your shoulders as he stared at you. "You think you're invincible, but you aren't. What don't you get?! How badly are you gonna let those things hurt you?! Or be the reason YOU DROP DEAD AND DON'T COME HOME?!!" He screamed.

Your own eyes widened, stunned by his words..and eventually you saw the realization flash across his face as he blurted out his true feelings.

The ones he tried to hide from you, yet consumed him for hours upon hours whenever you left for the mines.

It made your heart plummet.

His breath hitched, and you then saw the tears beginning to fall from his greenish eyes.

"Shane..."

"[Y/n], you saved me from throwing my life away. And...i-it's like you're throwing away yours for no reason!" He sobbed. "Night after night, I have nightmares of seeing your limp body..a-and....and I can't save you. I can't do anything except scream and beg them to stop hurting you! But they never listen! A-And...I just...I-I don't wanna lose you. I can't lose you..."

He looked totally shattered, making you finally realize how serious this was.

Your guilt right now was immensurable, watching the man you loved fall apart right in front of you.

And it was your fault.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry..." You pulled him into a tight hug, and he completely broke down in your arms. His quiet crying became muffled by your shoulder. "I..I had no idea you were feeling that way. Why didn't you tell me about the nightmares sooner?"

"You would've thought..th-they were stupid. Or that I sound "needy" or controlling.." He sniffled. "I-I know I can't stop you from going, but...I just..a-after what happened to you last night, I...I.."

"Oh, honey..that was my dumb mistake. The monsters had nothing to do with my injuries." Rubbing his back, you gently kissed his head. "I was tired and got clumsy with a stupid bomb..but I promise it won't happen again. You're right. I'm not invincible. I need that reality check sometimes."

He didn't say anything, instead holding onto you tighter.

You never realized how badly your mining trips and injuries were affecting him...affecting this very relationship.

The Shane you met back in Year 1 could care less if you dropped dead. He outright said he'd never go looking for you and that whatever happened was your own fault.

But the Shane you knew now was crying in your arms over the mere thought that one day you'll go into the mines and never come out, holding it all in until he couldn't anymore.

You've really helped him open up to you, but now you were tearing him apart inside and never really knew it until this point.

"W-Will you just..stay here today, please?" He finally spoke, not caring about how needy or pathetic that sounded.

"...I will." You answered. "I'll take a break from mining for a good while."

"....you would do that for me?"

"Of course. I'd do anything for you, Shane. Hell..I'd give that up altogether if you wanted me to."

You felt him shake his head, and you chuckled, squeezing him tightly. "I'm only kidding, but I promise. No more mining this week."

Shane raised his head up, looking to make sure you were serious. And he saw nothing but sincerity in your expression.

You sighed softly and cupped the sides of his wet face, seeing the torrent of anxiety and frustration raging like an ocean current in his eyes. "You must've felt so lonely and terrified, baby..I'm sorry. I won't make you feel that way ever again."

He sniffled again as you brushed away his tears, before taking ahold of your wrist to kiss your palm...where your first scar from a rock crab came from.

How badly did he wanna kiss away every scar those bastards left on you until none remained.

Some faded with time and care, but others were more permanent--testaments to your survival down in the mines..as well as your several brushes with death.

Heat rose to your cheeks, watching him become so affectionate and gentle with you, even though he knows you're not made of glass whatsoever.

Eventually, his tears ceased as you both decided to go lay down on the bed together, with Shane cuddling up to you and resting his head on your chest. All he could hear was your strong heartbeat drowning out the noise in his mind.

It was still kicking, like you.

"Thank you..god, that was exhausting.." He mumbled. "I'm sor-"

"You don't have to be sorry for being honest with me." You reassured, petting his hair. "I just..wish I picked up the signs sooner."

"INah, I should've been clearer...and maybe that would spare myself this headache I got now.."

"Hmm..how about we sleep in until you feel better? Then we can check on the chickens."

Feeling him nod and wrap his arms around you, you took that as a "yes" and chuckled softly, knowing you weren't gonna leave this spot anytime soon.

But that's okay.

There's no other place you'd rather be. Not even the mines.

[starbylers]

After spending some time listening and re-listening and thinking a lot, I think I finally have my head wrapped around all these songs. This post is an exploration of what they could tell us about Mike’s story, and also a sort of theory I noticed once I saw the full picture. This playlist is—in my opinion—the story we’ve been theorising for the past two years reflected in 12 songs. That might sound hyperbolic but it’s simply what I heard and interpreted, and wanted to share because I enjoyed writing it. I hope this is an interesting read!

If you didn’t see my last post about why I do believe this is Finn’s Mike/ST playlist despite the somewhat ambiguous title you can read that here. It’s totally okay if you disagree but I’m not interested in debating it, and this analysis is coming from a perspective of assuming we've guessed correctly that the playlist relates to ST (obviously we can't 1000% verify that, but for the purposes of this post that’s my stance).

I’m going to focus on themes and overall meanings in the songs because in my opinion that’s where any connections are going to lie, rather than specific lines holding anything important (aside from a few which I’ll highlight) because I feel like that’s closest to how Finn would’ve thought while making it. Basically a macro level representation of Mike and what he goes through next season, something that would help a person get into the headspace of a character. Oh and my larger point is about the playlist as a whole, which will come together at the end :)

➠ Track 1 | Ballad of the Texas King

The first song is an anomaly in that I think it’s meant to set the tone more than anything else. These explain better than I could hope to:

"Itʼs a murder ballad, and as is common in murder ballads, deals with promise and innocence being snuffed out.” [link]

"Clarke sings of a chance encounter with an ominous figure that feels akin to selling your soul at the crossroads" [link]

Hey kid come along, something is wrong, I believe you now / All this to say only one way that this can go / Come with us for a ride / Don’t it feel like hell? Boy let me tell you, that’s where you are

• • •

A nice little coincidence, Finn himself is quoted as saying season 5 is a “crossroads”. I can see this song being an allusion to inevitable big choices with life-altering consequences next season, and also more mature themes being tackled within Mike’s story. I mean he’s stepping back into his role as leader, and now they’re older that will come with a lot more weight and responsibility in situations where the fate of the world is likely hanging in the balance. Not to mention how his personal struggles will be tied up in that, it’s probable that a slightly darker, more self-reflective—and transformative—tone is waiting for us in regards to season 5 Mike.

➠ Track 2 | What You're Doing

A simple song about a turbulent relationship where one person is unhappy because their partner is messing them around, and they're pleading with them to stop.

Look what you’re doing, I'm feeling blue and lonely / You got me running and there's no fun in it / Please stop your lying, you've got me crying, girl

The partner is the one holding control in the situation, while they feel at the mercy of their partner’s careless choices. The mood here is one of helplessness and desperation while still remaining open-hearted, hoping they’ll change.

I've been waiting here for you wondering what you're gonna do / If you should need a love that's true it’s me / Why should it be so much to ask of you what you're doing to me?

• • •

This is heavily M!Ieven coded. What do we know about their dynamic? Mike is always the one chasing El (trying to “win her back” in s3, terrified of her not needing him in s4, stressing about her being in danger all the time). El is consistently seeking autonomy (choosing to learn about her identity over pursuing romance with him in s2, choosing to break up with him in s3, choosing to leave him behind in s4, and I’m willing to bet she’s the one who removes herself from his storyline in s5). We know their separation will happen early season, and naturally things between them must be unstable leading up to this. El being the one to pull away while Mike stresses over it checks out considering these past patterns, and also the end of s4 with her already closing herself off while Mike appears at a loss.

➠ Track 3 | After The Earthquake

A song reminiscing on a relationship and the failure and death of it, with a sense of lingering nostalgia and unwillingness to let it go. It’s set to the backdrop of a metaphorical car crash.

It wasn't built to last / If you wake up you’ll remember the awful things I said / Looking back to the vibrant days / Those days I'd never let you fall apart but things fade / Why would I ever fall in love again when every detail’s over the guard rail? / Velvet curtains drawn, flowers at your feet / Say you’ll climb your way out of your wake now / Are you awake now?

• • •

In simpler terms…this is a break up song. The longing tone makes sense to me for M!Ieven because I’ve long suspected the initial split between them is not going to be super clean cut (this should make more sense later). Mike and El were together for a long time for their age, and have a lot of intense shared memories. El was also his first and only experience of relationships; it’s going to be difficult to detach. It being the right decision to end something doesn’t mean it’s easy or simple. Even if Mike is gay and didn’t truly like her romantically, he still loved her and in my opinion that distinction isn’t something he’s going to have figured out and made peace with the second it ends.

➠ Track 4 | Promises I've Made

Very straightforward and repetitive, and follows on seamlessly from the last song: this is about having trouble moving on from someone who’s left your life.

Ever since you have gone the days don't seem so bright and I wish I could forget you but I can’t / I have promised myself I wouldn't dream of you but I find that awful hard sometimes to do

• • •

Based on what I’ve seen people might fight me on this, but to me it’s M!Ieven coded mainly because of its positioning in the playlist (directly after a struggling relationship song + break up song) but also because it is technically about an ex love. Could we say it doesn’t need to be interpreted that specifically? Yes. I suppose it could be Byler coded too but personally...the way I would interpret it is as Mike moping over whatever happened with El. There’s not any intense emotional pining going on; if you listen it has a very laid back, chill sort of mood and is honestly very upbeat. There’s no deep heartbreak. It’s just about missing someone. Plus it sort of perfectly closes out the process we see over the last two songs of being unhappy with someone, to breaking up and grieving, to the typical post-break up struggle of navigating this hole in your life and naturally missing what once filled it. This is a whole sub-arc for Mike.

➠ Track 5 | Angst In My Pants

We’ve reached the gay section! This song is about trying to fit yourself into an acceptable—aspirational, even—life but never feeling content, and continuously trying to squash this troubling Feeling, the titular phrase: angst in (your) pants. Some people think it’s a reference to literal physical arousal but others including me think that in context it’s intended more as a metaphor for sexual frustration/dissatisfaction.

I hope it doesn't show, it'll go away / It's just a passing phase / When you’re all alone, you and your head / When you think you’ve made it disappear it comes again, hello, I’m here and I’ve got angst in my pants

The queer subtext here is very clear, I don’t think I even have to explain (check out the cover art too lol). The song closes with a realisation/acceptance that no, this “phase” won't ever go away i.e. it’s just who you are.

Give it a hundred years, it won't go away

I also thought one of the opening verse lines was an interesting segue from the last few songs:

But when you’re all alone and nothing bites you’d wish you stayed at home with someone nice

• • •

Angst In My Pants may aswell be titled Forced Conformity the thematic parallels to ST are that blatant. Another point for team Mike Wheeler actually is connected to the main themes of the show like all his other friends, and no it’s not because he’s somehow oppressed for being a nerd. Also rather than being about feelings for another person the song is about personal struggle with sexuality which excites me to think about in relation to Mike because we’ve been saying he needs to explore his own identity outside of being a love interest.

➠ Track 6 | The Better Side

A very sweet, slow, slightly melancholy song. I’ll be honest I cannot decipher more than 2/3 of the lyrics but here are the most meaningful ones of those I could:

I know you cry and I’m trying to keep you by my warmth

You’re never gonna see my eyes, you’re coloring all the skies you want to / I tried staying alive, keep my head on the better side when you’re far away

You’re on the better side you’re always the better one for me

You’re all that I need, I’m not gonna miss you anymore

My understanding is it’s about pining over someone who is a “better” choice, whatever that means in this context. Deciding you want someone, someone who you don’t currently have, someone who is maybe distracted, distant or physically absent? But vowing to change that because you recognise that you need them.

• • •

This directly follows the Gay Thoughts song, and precedes the Gay Thoughts song 2.0 so I feel safe interpreting it as Byler coded and about how it’s Mike’s turn to pine. (Also because “better” implies that there’s a “worse” i.e. this is a situation where you’re differentiating between two things i.e. in Mike’s case, Will vs El). I can envision Mike and Will getting moments together away from whatever chaos is surely going on, having the space to connect more where Mike starts becoming conscious of his feelings, realising slowly that Will is the “better” one for him. And as the song also suggests, perhaps Will has pulled away from him in the beginning. I think this is possible because the torment Will's likely going to endure from Vecna could understandably cause him to push Mike away, fearing his safety or him finding out how Will feels, and also I just don’t think he’ll be able to stand the pain of being M!Ieven’s couple’s counsellor for much longer without cracking. But I think Mike “it’ll be easier if we’re a team” Wheeler would make it his mission to fix any rift between them, the final line literally being I’m not gonna miss you anymore.

➠ Track 7 | Don't Ask Me To Explain

As far as I can tell, this song is about being afraid to face queer feelings for another person who is also hiding this about themselves, and being conflicted about whether to confess because you're not sure how they feel.

How will I ever know you enough to love you if you're hiding who you are? / How am I supposed to let it show when I don't even know? / Don’t move on without me, who will be watching my body when I sleep? / I don't want to be the one who's coming out first, I'd really like to but I'm just too shy

The end is an admission of…something. I’m not sure whether to interpret it as wishful thinking over this queer relationship you believe you can’t have, or as an offhand comment about forcing yourself to love someone you can’t because of your sexuality. Interesting either way:

It’s so easy to lie to myself and pretend that I could love you but I can't

I did do some research and the alleged true explanation of this song is it’s from one queer friend to another (man to woman, I assume both closeted, maybe a failed romance?) but I could only find one uncited source for that and everywhere else seems to agree with my interpretation so it seems when listening to the song that’s the story people hear. (Plus either way the song is about being queer. Undeniably so).

• • •

It’s not Byler coded we’re way past that, it literally just…is them. It does seem to suggest a level of internal conflict in Mike regarding coming out that I can’t say I expected (yes I have no doubts about canon Byler but I’m also a pessimist by nature—that should tell you how obvious their endgame is though lmao—so I assumed the Duffers would go wrong somewhere). I always thought he would be almost consciously clueless about himself until he finds out Will loves him, and the focus be more on him liking Will back rather than him liking boys (and obviously wasn’t a fan of that), but the prospect of Mike actually being aware and grappling with his sexuality is what we’ve been praying for and builds on the more low-level thrum of sexual confusion in Angst In My Pants. Oh and the song also could suggest Mike suspecting that Will likes him/is queer too before anyone confesses.

➠ Track 8 | What Do You Want Me To Do?

Another straightforward one. It’s quite angsty, a big contrast to the more sad feelings about a relationship from the earlier songs. This is about someone who left you for someone else/someone who walked out on you, who decides they want you back.

You walked out took your chance, turned your back on our romance / You said the change would do you good / But then the bubble burst your dream, turned into a nightmare scream / You came crawling to me your knees, and you were asking me to love you please

The main message of the repetitive chorus is basically: you want me to need you, but that’s not real love. You’re just using me to feel better about yourself.

What do you want me to do? Say that I need you more? Is that what real lovers do? Or only what you use me for?

• • •

I mean isn’t that last part how we’ve always described M!Ieven’s dynamic—all about aligning with the other’s needs whether for safety, validation or feeling ‘normal’, rather than genuine romance? I don’t think there’s any chance at all of El leaving Mike for someone else lol, as I said I don’t think we need to interpret these songs super specifically. But it does make me wonder: could we possibly see a moment of regression for El at some point in the season, after they separate? The focus here in my opinion is frustration at someone trying to re-enter your life when you know they don’t truly love you. Reflecting on their dynamic I talked about with earlier songs and their history in the show (El walking away, Mike scared to lose her), is it possible the break up could leave Mike struggling initially then he progressively understands why it was the right choice (especially after spending time with Will), meanwhile for El it’s the opposite—she’s more sure about breaking up but something happens later on that shakes her belief in herself. Her having one last hurdle to overcome in her dependency on Mike to finally break that pattern of hindering her growth by retreating to him could make sense. And based on this song…Mike would not be receptive to being El’s safety net. Growth for both of them.

➠ Track 9 | Substitute

Again, very angsty compared to earlier. It’s about a relationship characterised by false perceptions (focused on class), and those being what is holding it together. One partner is pretending to be something they’re not, cosplaying as someone else, and the other is also being dishonest/fake.

You think we look really good together / My fine looking suit is really made out of sack / The simple things you see are all complicated / Substitute your lies for fact / I see right through your plastic mac

The relationship breaks down because of this and their partner doesn’t truly want to fix things, and ultimately trades up.

Those crocodile tears are what you cry / It’s a genuine problem, you won’t try to work it out at all, you just pass it by / Substitute me for him / Substitute my coke for gin

Essentially: your partner not knowing the real you because you’re putting on a facade—the facade being the version of you they really like, the thing that was making you compatible—leads the relationship to fail. The literal title suggests neither of them as they are are what the other truly wants or needs.

• • •

Obviously this does not directly parallel M!leven in terms of the topic of the lying but in terms of the themes and core relationship issues…yeah. To me this could be about point Mike has reached after gradually coming to realisations about the nature of their relationship after it’s over, like I mentioned before. I can envision a mid-late season confrontation (or something less aggressive sounding lol) between them, pairing perfectly with the topic of the previous song. El scared trying to fall back on Mike and he’s like…no, we don’t work, I can’t be that for you anymore and this is why: betraying who he is (nerd) to impress her, trying so hard to play the “boyfriend” role (yet they never successfully emotionally connect), if he’s gay then there’s also the facade of straightness, etc. I think it would show a lot of emotional maturity from him honestly, and I really need him to have a strong grasp on what went wrong with El for them to have a shot at forming a healthy friendship, and also to psychologically process all that stuff before getting involved with Will.

➠ Track 10 | The Rebel Kind

A short song about life being tough when you don’t have much (this one is class-focused too), but still craving the freedom that comes from not following societal rules and pressures for how to do life “right”, and instead living on your own terms. Basically the struggle is worth not having to conform. The first verse sums it up pretty well:

They call us the rebel kind but they don’t understand the things a man must do to prove that he’s a man / It’s not easy but I don’t mind, I just wanna run with the rebel kind

• • •

Again, obviously the specific topic is not relevant to ST but the thematic parallels blew my mind, I mean the entire show is about people being outcasts and learning to find strength in that, and the final season is going to majorly drive that point. We know this from the fact that Will “being different” Byers is the one who’s arc is said to tie up the whole show. Now in regards to Mike…if this doesn’t scream forced conformity and deciding to reject it for your own happiness I don’t know what does. It perfectly captures the thematic end point of his arc next season (and not just his but probably the entire party’s in one way or another). Also the toxic masculinity reference in that one line applies heavily to Mike with his history of trying so hard to do what he thinks he supposed to do in going from boy to man i.e. We’re not kids anymore. Did you think we were never gonna get girlfriends?

➠ Track 11 | Block Rockin’ Beats

Another one I think is mainly to set a tone; no real lyrics just beats. In my opinion it comes after The Rebel Kind for a reason. Somehow it just makes sense, it’s got this really loud, frenzied, unrestrained energy to it.

➠ Track 12 | Just What I Needed

We end off with a love (or desire?) song. It’s interesting because it’s quite aggressive sonically but at the same time it talks about being with someone in a simple uncomplicated way:

I don’t mind you coming here and wasting all my time / I don’t mind you hanging out and talking in your sleep

…but it’s also very intense how you feel with them.

Cause when you’re standing oh so near I kinda lose my mind

There’s a repeated line that stuck in my head. It’s obviously written about a female subject, but there is such a rejection of the feminine going on:

It’s not the perfume that you wear, it’s not the ribbons in your hair

It’s saying those feminine attributes are not why this person is attractive—and yeah logically that means the subject must have those things, but as I’ve said I don’t think these songs need to be interpreted on such a specific level. The point being made is about a deeper connection. The line is just intriguing to me from the perspective of Mike being into boys, I mean he could’ve picked literally any other romance song.

I needed someone to feed / I needed someone to bleed / I guess you’re just what I needed

The message here is basically: I was craving the rawest form of connection/intimacy with another human being (that doesn’t have to necessarily mean sexual it’s just those visceral words feed, bleed in comparison to perfume and ribbons which sound very fluffy lol)…and now I’ve found you and it’s exactly what I was looking for.

• • •

With all the themes through the songs of rejecting fake relationships and conformity, and accepting and exploring queerness…Will Byers is obviously going to be the thing Mike needed. I’ve been saying (and so have many) but Byler isn’t happening till the end. Also the playlist finishing with this song is telling in my opinion. Aside from the Castle Byers Classics link, the title itself implies searching for something which is now found, a journey being over. I say this for the purposes of pushing my agenda about this playlist painting a narrative. Hear me out:

Personally……that’s not accidental. It just isn’t. Even if my more specific interpretations aren’t correct, I just cannot believe that this wasn’t curated to draw a particular picture. I believe in coincidences and if the playlist had been titled as it was with a bunch of random unconnected irrelevant songs I’d be the first person to file it under that. But the title and the inclusion of a song from Will’s official playlist and these specific songs in this specific order? Yeah it’s about s5 Mike and I cannot wait to see him! If you made it this far thanks for reading <3

[tarotofzhivamoon]

Masterlist • P@tr30n • Personal readings

Pause and take a big breath in, then choose the pile you feel the most drawn to🦋

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Pile 1

**This could also resonate with you if you have: Cancer, Leo, Pisces, Aquarius, Taurus, Scorpio placements

Who are they?

Your person seems to be someone from your past, with whom you already had a relationship with and it didn’t really work out. They definitely seem to be someone who right now, is only present in your life in your memory and you might be daydreaming about them especially if this relationship has ended recently, or they may not be fully in your life, being a bit in and out. If it hasn’t ended recently, they made an impact on you and you definitely would like to give it another shot with them because you still feel a lot of love for them in your heart. This person is someone who has worked really hard to balance their feelings with their intellectual side, maybe when the two of you met in the past they weren’t really good at it because this has definitely been quite a long and slow moving journey for them. it feels as though maybe you were somewhat ahead of them and the incompatibilities were too high at that time. Now they seem to be on your level from that perspective. They have been working on themselves, slowly, and they’ve reached a point in which they are able to find a really beautiful harmony between mind, body and spirit, which is actually making them be more prepared for a relationship. They could’ve been incredibly held back, even being extremely gullible and other people might’ve made them believe various different things about themselves and the relationship with you, which wasn’t the best for a connection. They now can say about themselves that they are well balanced, able to set goals for themselves and go after them and a better team player than they were before, especially because they got used to a life in which it was only just them, one in which they were only thinking about themselves, which limited them in the way they were showing up in a relationship and working as a team with you.

How are they going to show up in your life? (relationship skills and obstacles they need to overcome)

They seem to still have a lot of things to overcome, even with all the progress that they have made from when the two of you decided to go your separate ways, but the difference here is that they found their inner strength and they are better equipped to deal with the obstacles that life and relationships bring them. I would definitely say that when it comes to relationship skills, they are definitely able to be compassionate towards you and actually understand where you are coming from, making them more likely to actively listen and compromise with you so that the both of you feel safe in the relationship. They have taken back control over their ego and it’s not really the main thing that runs the show anymore, so now they’ve expanded their capacity to show and receive love in a really sweet manner that they weren’t really able to do before. This is probably one of their best relationship qualities beside the strength that they have to fight for you and for the relationship no matter what anyone else says or thinks. Once they’ve chosen their partner, they are definitely the type who will prioritize the well being of their partner and of the relationship before anything else, as they are looking for success and they have come a long way, facing many challenges to learn how to be a good partner. They’ve come from a really sad past, they probably have lost a lot of things in life and there was definitely sadness when the two of you decided to call it quits, they might’ve blamed themselves and feel as though it was their fault because they weren’t good enough and it was like a war in their heads, going back and forth, being their worst enemy because they do like to feel connected to someone and have a romantic relationship that brings them joy. So they took their weaknesses, they took their own self-judgements and they transformed those into strength that helped them become better. Thing is, I don’t believe that this person has had another significant or important relationship to actually practice these skills and so they might be a bit clumsy at times in their relationship with you, so they might be learning how to actually apply them in a relationship with you. The obstacle here is literally not knowing how to properly adapt in a relationship to that flexible extent, they might take a while to practice to be able to reach a more proficient approach and show up the way they envisioned for themselves.

If you enjoyed this reading, the extended is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find at the top of this post. Thank you so much for your support💗 Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋

Thank you all so much for reading and I hope this offered you the guidance you needed! Much love xx

Pile 2

**This could also resonate with you if you have: Pisces, Libra, Scorpio, Aries, Sagittarius, Aquarius placements

Who are they?

Your person is definitely someone who’s loving and kind, they definitely seem to be the ones who have a really good heart, ready to give, ready to embrace love and offer it in a really sweet way and they totally do want to get married/be in a relationship and have that long-term commitment with someone. The issue here is that even though this person has a golden heart, the might’ve been taken advantage of it and they turned out to have quite a few self-defense mechanisms that you would need to get past before actually seeing the true them. It’s not that this person is actually testing you in any way, they just are extremely careful about the way they move into the world to be able to push aside anyone who doesn’t have genuine intentions towards them. That means that they take a lot of time to open up and at first you might see them as being indecisive, not knowing what they want or need, and kind of not moving the right way in a relationship because they are still testing the waters. You might see that this is actually out of their element in some way, the way these vibes fall onto them is just now who they really are and somehow, you will actually manage to see beyond this and expect or wait for more from them. They will do a lot to protect their own hearts, always being defensive of the most previous and sensitive parts of their being and they won’t reveal their true self all at once because that approach has hurt them in the past. They might feel extremely inadequate as well, especially having dealt with people with ill intentions, and they might feel as though there is no one genuine in the world, that they have to pretend they are someone they’re not just to protect themselves and they don’t think that’s the right approach, but that they have to do it anyways because if they don’t, they’re going to get hurt again. Once these layers of protection fall bit by bit, you’re going to see a new, adventurous and playful side of them, one that actually has a lot of hope and love to give. They’re extremely loyal, especially to those who are closest to them and want to explore life by their side.

How are they going to show up in your life? (relationship skills and obstacles they need to overcome)

When it comes to how they’re going to show up in your life, there’s definitely a lot of insecurity and pain that will come through here, because they doubt themselves a lot. You can see that this person is someone who’s able to create a safe space for you to be fully yourself, one in which you feel loved and cared for, them being your biggest support system with anything you may need help with, especially mental health wise, they’ve been through a lot so they know a lot and they know how to handle different situations and be the person they never had for others. They are also incredibly good at understanding their emotions, for seeing things as they are and honestly, they are also extremely self aware, able to accept the truth about themselves and no run away from it no matter how harsh it might seem, but they’re still at a crossroads now, trying to get out of being the person they’ve been, with defense mechanisms, overthinking, over giving, over working, being at a distance from themselves and not being able to truly find themselves, to actually becoming something new. They have a lot of great things about themselves that they’ve forgotten about all this time because they were so stuck in being someone they were not due to their experiences. Now, in the relationship, they need to overcome a lot of obstacles and that might create more obstacles in the relationship, on your side of it as well. You may or may not be equipped to deal with their baggage, as it seems to be a lot to handle from their side and it might feel that when the two of you make progress towards being closer to one another, something happens and the progress you made is null. There are a lot of cycles on their end that are challenging and making the relationship difficult to maintain long term, because they have lost themselves and you might not fully see their actual sweet side for a while. They might give you bits and pieces here, but they’re not allowing themselves to be who they are out of fear, which is definitely going to make you think that they don’t have the bestest intentions towards you and that they’re just playing games. They will try their hardest to make you happy, but that’s going to cause stress for them, maybe even being paranoid most of the times and not believe in themselves that they can do this. They don’t want to disappoint you but they are a bit buried under the pile of behaviors that have helped them to keep on going. Change might be on the horizon though, something might trigger it in this relationship and they will have to make a decision to heal and move on from the old, as you might be nothing like those who took advantage of them. Trust needs to be built here.

If you enjoyed this reading, the extended is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find at the top of this post. Thank you so much for your support💗 Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋

Thank you all so much for reading and I hope this offered you the guidance you needed! Much love xx

Pile 3

**This could also resonate with you if you have: Libra, Virgo, Leo, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Scorpio placements

Who are they?

Your person is someone who has come a long way in their journey of discovering themselves, especially because they seem to have started off with some beliefs and ideals that you can think your way through life, without feeling it at all. Feels like this person has been seeing life as an adventure, maybe even climbing their way up to where they are right now and things haven’t always been easy for them, especially in the beginning. They were unsure of themselves, unsure of their moves, only being equipped with very little knowledge about life from their caretakers and at times they had to learn the hard way how to deal with the things that came their way. This required them to be equipped with a sense of exploration when it came to the way they were thinking about things and the way they were perceiving them, thus managing to get out of their comfort zone and take risks due to the hunger and curiosity they had for life. Their parents might’ve been protective of them, there is this sense that they were quick thinkers, adventurers and wanting to explore the world, but being limited by the things around them, which has, in fact, never stopped them from going after what they wanted. Though, this has limited them a bit only on exploring the mind and not the heart. This person has matured rapidly, which also is a great example of someone who didn’t have time to learn all the skills necessary to enter the emotional world due to a lack of guidance and a push in a specific direction, so with that, they kept on exploring the mind until they started understanding it in a really elevated way up until they hit a dead end in their exploration which required them to dive deep into their emotions as well. That’s when they understood that it’s not all about what you think, there’s also always feelings involved that can offer as much information, if not more, than what the mind is providing.

How are they going to show up in your life? (relationship skills and obstacles they need to overcome)

In all honesty, you can expect this person to be a little bit passive in the relationship as they are someone who usually introspects and self reflects a lot, rather than taking a really big and confident stand in any relationships. That’s something they still need to learn how to master, though they’re in the process of understanding their own emotions and they’re coming off as passive simply because within themselves, there’s big inner conflicts that keep on going on without ever stopping. They are trying their best to figure things out for themselves, making sure they are successful in anything they learn or acquire but don not expect huge gestures in the beginning from them. The more they explore their emotional world, the more inner conflict they have because they are going through major transformations in how they perceive the world around them and what they believe about various aspects of humanity and relationships in general. When one’s beliefs are being challenged, through various experiences, they’re not in a position in which they can actively respond because what they know to be true is actually crumbling and being replaced by a new one. It’s not that they wouldn’t want to show up in one way or the other, it’s that they are still learning how and while you might see this composed person, in reality, within themselves, they aren’t as composed as they appear. This exploration that they’re still doing is one of their obstacles, something they need to overcome and figure out on their own, but it’s being brought up by your relationship as you have a different approach than what they learned. Their positive side here is that they are open to learning and open to growing so this person is definitely going to want to learn more about how they can be a good partner to you and how they can show up so that you feel loved by them. They’re still new with emotions, but they are quick learners and over time, with their openness, they’re going to be really good with expressing their feelings for you and receiving the love that you’re giving them as well.

If you enjoyed this reading, the extended is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find at the top of this post. Thank you so much for your support💗 Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋

Thank you all so much for reading and I hope this offered you the guidance you needed! Much love xx

Pile 4

**This could also resonate with you if you have: Scorpio, Aquarius, Gemini, Virgo, Cancer, Aries placements

Who are they?

They are someone who have been looked forward to having a relationship for a really long time. For a very few of you, this is someone who has either been forced to remain single due to religious reasons or to get ready for a pre-arranged marriage that wasn’t going to make them happy/they could also be divorced as well. It feels as though this person wants a good marriage, they want to be married if that is where the relationship leads, though it’s not constantly on their mind because to them, the most important is the journey of getting there and just experiencing and devoting themselves to a long-term commitment. This person could also have some physical disabilities or even struggle with some mental health disorders that to the world, they get to be a bit marginalized or pushed outside, and that’s felt lonely to them for a really long time because they felt as though no one really understands them for who they really are. This person, no matter of their characteristics which might be particular and fit only a few of your situations, they have been working really to be able to identify some things and certain people that are rare and beautiful within and without in the crowd. They’ve been looking for someone to stand out in ways that no one else would notice, only them, because they have sharpened their eye and their energy field to be able to feel who is that person that they have been looking for and so they do tend to trust their instincts pretty much when looking for new people in their life. They’re extremely kind and connected with their emotions, but very quick witted as well all at the same time. They are always changing and improving themselves, wanting to do and be better, especially because they have been treated poorly by others and they believe that change in the world starts with change within oneself. You might be seeing them struggle with an impostor syndrome as well, as they have gone through major negative experiences and they struggle a lot with believing in themselves and their own skills.

How are they going to show up in your life? (relationship skills and obstacles they need to overcome)

When they come into your life, this person is going to definitely come off as stubborn and very subjective in their interactions with you; you might see them projecting a little bit onto you too especially due to the negative romantic experiences they have had before. With this person, it’s full of ups and downs, they might not be in your life for a really long time because they might not be actually the person that you’d like to be with or there is going to be some sort of break up and them coming back later on. It’s definitely going to be a combination of being kind of carless and projecting without thinking of consequences, which is going to cause them even more pain. The world has put a lot of pressure on them and has hurt them a lot, and that is just making them either be careless, not worry too much for too long and continue running away from themselves because they just don’t feel safe enough to remain in a single place. You might be fall for them, you might feel as though this person cares for you, and they do, they just have an extremely bad way of showing it because they’re still hurting and you definitely don’t have to stick around for that if there isn’t an equal exchange of energy between the two of you. It feels as though you’re giving this person what they need, sort of like it’s helping them start addressing and seeing themselves a bit more clearly, but they are in no position of giving back to you, due to being starved from love their entire life but also because you are way out of their league, especially when it comes to emotional maturity and growth. They’re in the process of becoming more mature, but they have a lot more to experience to get there and they don’t seem to be fully in alignment with you. The obstacles that they need to overcome here are created by themselves, they’re just self-sabotaging everything and then feeling hurt that they sabotaged it. They’re still hurting and they can’t fully see past that; it feels as though they are a bit stuck in a dream in which they’re doing everything right for you, in their heads, but when it comes to how they’re actually showing up for you, they seem to distance themselves and pull away, then they don’t understand why you do and say the things you do and say to them. They need more time on their own before actually being ready for something serious.

If you enjoyed this reading, the extended is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find at the top of this post. Thank you so much for your support💗 Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋

Thank you all so much for reading and I hope this offered you the guidance you needed! Much love xx

Pile 5

**This could also resonate with you if you have: Pisces, Sagittarius, Taurus, Scorpio,Virgo, Gemini placements

Who are they?

This person might be someone who has been stuck in situations in which they might’ve been the third wheel in a lot of situations, either at work, either in their friend group or in another relationship. It’s very likely that their previous partner has taken advantage of them, broke their heart because they wanted to be with someone else, or they have been in a polyamorous relationship in which the parties involved struggled with communication and building trust and safety. It didn’t really end well, but their past has a lot to do with commitment and whether or not that commitment was worth it to them, regardless of their own circumstances. They dedicated themselves to the person they were with and they over extended themselves to make that relationship work, they might’ve went above and beyond and in the end, they just received a really big baggage to carry. This person is still learning how to love themselves and how they can take care of their own needs and wants, they’re sort of in an exploration journey of figuring out what wounds are open, what hurts, what works for them and what doesn’t because they don’t really want to continue on being stuck in the same cycles over and over and over again. They are experiencing a lot of pressure and inner conflict on how to go about this, they don’t really know what to think to this day about what has happened in the past, but they are doing their best to keep going and try to figure it out, hoping that there is a better future waiting for them. They have a great support system, though, it feels like this person doesn’t like to ask for help and they’re only relying on themselves most of the time, which is no making it easier for them to deal with their issues. They might not trust people around them and they’re really independent, as they have learned that they can only trust and rely on themselves to be safe.

How are they going to show up in your life? (relationship skills and obstacles they need to overcome)

As you might’ve expected, this person is still going through a process of transformation that’s most likely going to last for a while so for a few years of you two being in each other’s lives, you might see that they are struggling and that they are in pain, which makes them have a little capacity for the love that they will show you. This doesn’t mean that they won’t do their best to be there for you and take you out and try to work as a team with you, but the extent to which they will do it might not feel your cup fully. They weren’t really looking for a relationship when they met you, but they actually ended up catching feelings for you and having you in their life just gives them hope that the future is going to be okay. Now, their challenges are just their pain, as if they do not properly deal with it, they might unintentionally hurt other people around them, including you, as a result of still being emotionally stuck in that moment in which they felt extremely betrayed. They are still grieving that relationship but most importantly grieving the happy and safe version of themselves that they left behind. They are sinking into this pain, giving into the desperation that they might not be able to figure it out and they certainly struggle with communicating their own pain. It feels as though this person might intellectualize it a lot, if they think about their feelings, they will probably not have to feel them and therefore they will not have to feel their pain, which is just a work around for them wanting to escape that experience and the feelings of pain that they have. They are avoiding it, whether they realize it or not, they are running away from it because they are on survival mode right now and until they learn how to calm their nervous system down, they will keep running away from their own self. This person is incredibly strong and resourceful, though they like to be in an energy of pursuing romantic interests, of being romantic and going on dates, building that relationship slowly. This also means that they usually like to find solutions to issues and they seem frozen right now so they do feel extremely powerless and guilty for now being able to show up in the way you should be treated. They will express their love through acts of service or taking care of you/buying you gifts, so while it may not seem like a lot, especially if that’s not your love language, they are doing it in the ways that feel safe for them. The positives here is the fact that they want to change, they want to do better, and right now they are a work in progress so even if they want to, it will still be on them to actually become who they want to be.

If you enjoyed this reading, the extended is available to read on P@tr30n which you can find at the top of this post. Thank you so much for your support💗 Likes and rbs are appreciated🦋

Thank you all so much for reading and I hope this offered you the guidance you needed! Much love xx

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