#would love to hear anyone else’s thoughts on capitol romance

[persephoneprice]

please spill more headcanons about the mentors!!!! (specifically romantic)

oh interesting!! i’ll be honest and admit that i actually don’t have, like, a ton of thoughts about the mentors romantically but i’ll give you what i do!! thank you for the ask!

so, the first and worst thing i have is the sort of sad love life i gave to persephone (sorry pippa). but in my head i’ve created this whole lore about felix, festus, and persephone. (i’ve also started toying with the idea of pippa x oc which i completely blame abyssal for putting the thought in my head.)

i definitely see hilarius as gay but i can’t come up with a good idea of who his partner would be (other than tanner, thanks electric rebels). i kind of picture him as someone who doesn’t have actual relationships, just sort of…gets around.

i think that livia cardew and coriolanus snow do end up married, but obviously not because he loves her. i think in the beginning she probably believes they love each other, but that unravels quickly and it’s not a happy marriage. (i sort of love the idea of her having a little side thing with persephone or vipsania)

diana ring is a lesbian. hands down. she and iphigenia are endgame.

and the truth is, i actually kind of love the idea of vipsania and pup. but i also love wlw vip and ace pup.

that’s all i really have as far as romance goes! do you have any headcanons or thoughts? i’d love to hear them!

[theartofdreaming1]

Slightly paraphrased, but Peeta talking about that moment he developed his crush on Katniss is just too sweet 😊

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and random thoughts on chapters 22-24 are below the cut (sprinkled in some psychology thoughts again).

heart

Honestly, I think the people in Panem would perceive the whole everlark storyline the same way we perceive and react to our ships on tv (desperately wanting to reach through the screen, shoving the characters forcefully together, screaming “And now, kiss!”); especially the Capitolites who barely recognize the tributes (or people in the districts, in general) as people. The people in the districts would definitely view the whole thing more under a “reality tv” kind of lens, questioning how much of the relationship is real or not (we know that Finnick certainly thought that the entire thing was just a spiel, until Peeta hit that forcefield). The time spent in the cave must have been pretty convincing, though.

mind

I think that Katniss is still torn here - On the one hand, she kind of wants to believe that Peeta is actually into her (remember the happiness she felt when Peeta told her how his crush on her began, and it all added up and seemed so real), but on the other hand she’s terrified of that possibility because A) lingering trauma from her mom’s depression in response the Mr. Everdeen’s death, B) Katniss never even considered falling in love, so that’s a sudden unexpected thing to deal with, and C) maybe it’s just for the sake of the Games; and wouldn’t that hurt, getting your hopes up only to learn it was only for show? (How about we ask Peeta about that?)

soul

Yeah, that quote about Peeta only eating stale bread also struck me as quite sad. It just further adds to his understanding how there should be more to life than just survival, though. (One day, I’ll make that post about Peeta, Katniss, and Maslow’s pyramid of needs, I swear! I’ve already gathered some research material)

Chapter 22

My mother’s hand strokes my cheek and I don’t push it away as I would in wakefulness, never wanting her to know how much I crave that gentle touch. How much I miss her even though I still don’t trust her. - Ugh, I can’t... Katniss misses her mom, misses being cared for😢 I’m so glad we’re going to see her patch up her relationship with her mom in CF... On a different note, Katniss craving that gentle touch just perfectly illustrates why she’s so drawn to Peeta, who is generally such a gentle soul (I mean, he’s literally the person stroking her cheek here 😊)

He [Peeta] doesn’t seem angry about my tricking him, drugging him, and running off to the feast. Maybe I’m just too beat-up and I’ll hear about it later when I’m stronger. But for the moment, he’s all gentleness. - As I was saying... 😉

“I’ll go hunting soon,” I say. “Not too soon, all right?” he says. “You just let me take care of you for a while.” - I love them so much😊🥰 And then Peeta makes sure she’s well-fed and hydrated, he rubs her cold feet and tucks her into the sleeping back... and she let’s him! 💗

“He [Thresh] let you go because he didn’t want to owe you anything?” asks Peeta in disbelief. “Yes. I don’t expect you to understand it. You’ve always had enough. But if you’d lived in the Seam, I wouldn’t have to explain,” I say. “And don’t try. Obviously I’m too dim to get it,” he says. - Oof. This exchange here is interesting in many ways: 1) it highlights their different experiences, tied to their different socioeconomic backgrounds, basically, and 2)  that Katniss is very much aware of this difference, but we also see hints of her own ignorance here - because Peeta didn’t have to starve in his childhood, she thinks that he can’t possibly understand this level of hardship; but there are other ways in which one can suffer/lack fundamental needs, which brings us to 3) Peeta’s response about being “obviously too dim to get it”; I think this is a clue to his mom being also verbally abusive towards him: she called him “stupid creature” when he burnt those loaves of bread for Katniss and when he’s losing it in the attic of the Justice Building in D11 in CF he is mad that Katniss and Haymitch keep things from him “like [he’s] too inconsequential or stupid or weak to handle them”, which - to me - sounds like he’s tired of being treated that way (i.e. the way his mother treats him)

“I want to go home, Peeta,” I say plaintively, like a a small child. - God, this is a teenager in a murder-arena who feels like wanting to go home is a childish notion instead of a totally legitimate wish for anyone in that situation, regardless of age 😢

It’s not that Peeta’s soft exactly, and he’s proved he’s not a coward. But there are things you don’t question too much, I guess, when your home always smells like baking bread, whereas Gale questions everything. What would Peeta think of the irreverent banter that passes between us as we break the law each day? Would it shock him? The things we say about Panem? Gale’s tirades against the Capitol? - Geez, Katniss, give Peeta some credit here! A) It’s not like Peeta can walk around District 12 talking publicly about the injustices happening there - she and Peeta hadn’t even talked with each other before the reaping, whereas Gale is her best friend who rants to her while they are outside the confines of D12 and B) Peeta is literally the one who introduced the whole “not a piece in their Games”-idea to her; why would he be clutching his pearls over Katniss and Gale’s irreverent banter?! Just because Peeta didn’t live on the brink of starvation (she again brings up how his house smells like bread and - at this point - still thinks that the family running the bakery actually gets to eat what they produce just like that), doesn’t mean he doesn’t see how shitty life in D12 is - he can still want better conditions for those who are worse off than him!

“I did do the right thing,” I say. “No! Just don’t, Katniss!” His grip tightens, hurting my hand, and there’s real anger in his voice. “Don’t die for me. You won’t be doing me any favors. All right?” - Well, we’ll see this song and dance again in CF...

And while I was talking, the idea of actually losing Peeta hit me again and I realized how much I don’t want him to die. [...] And it’s not about what will happen back home. And it’s not just that I don’t want to be alone. It’s him. I do not want to lose the boy with the bread.” - I wish CF Katniss would remember this moment when she is questioning her motives about saving Peeta’s life in the arena - You. Care. For. This. Boy! You. Value. Him. For. Who. He. Is!!!

This is the first kiss that we’re both fully aware of. [...] This is the first kiss where I actually feel stirring inside my chest. Warm and curious. This is the first kiss that makes me want another. - Whoo! Is it hot in here or is it just me? 😉

I’m struck by his immediacy now. As we settle in, he pulls my head down to use his arm as a pillow; the other rests protectively over me even when he goes to sleep. No one has held me like this in such a long time. Since my father died and I stopped trusting my mother, no one else’s arms have made me feel this safe. - He makes her feel safe in a murder-arena!!! 😭 This is the kind of stuff that makes everlark just a top tier romance, tbh

Peeta telling Katniss about his crush starting on their first day of school 🥰😭 - and her reaction to it... For a moment, I’m almost foolishly happy - yes, because you have a crush on him, too! - and then confusion sweeps over me. Because we’re supposed to be making up this stuff [...] So, if those details are true... could it all be true? - YESSSSSSSS!!!

“You have a... remarkable memory, “ I say haltingly. - as a severely socially awkward person... I felt that lame response in my bones 😅

“You don’t have much competition anywhere.” And this time, it’s me who leans in. - God, this would be such an amazing moment if it didn’t get tainted by that immediate sponsor gift, which just serves to muddle Katniss’s feelings with her sense of survival, further complicating her relationship with Peeta... *sigh* 

Chapter 23

“What was that you were saying just before the food arrived? Something about me... no competition... best thing that ever happened to you...” “I don’t remember that last part,” I say, hoping it’s too dim in here for the cameras to pick up my blush. “Oh, that’s right. That’s what I was thinking,” he says. - Peeta is the master of being a cheeky little shit and adorable flirt at the same time

“So, since we were five, you never even noticed any other girls?” I ask him. “No, I noticed just about every girl, but none of them made a lasting impression but you,” he says. - I appreciate that while Peeta has had a crush on Katniss forever, he clearly didn’t spend the entire time pining after her, oblivious to the rest of the world - he has a life outside of Katniss Everdeen, but ultimately, it all lead back to her

A disturbing thought hits me. “But then, our only neighbor will be Haymitch!” “Ah, that’ll be nice,” says Peeta, tightening his arms around me. “You and me and Haymitch. Very cozy. Picnics, birthdays, long winter nights around the fire retelling old Hunger Games tales.” “I told you, he hates me!” I say, but I can’t help laughing at the image of Haymitch becoming my new pal. - Laugh all you want, this is going to end up being your future anyway 😄

He [Haymitch]’s at something of a disadvantage because most mentors have a partner, another victor to help them whereas Haymitch has to bready to go into action at any moment. Kind of like me when I was alone in the arena. I wonder how he’s holding up, with the drinking, the attention, and the stress of tring to keep us alive. - Katniss is already worrying about her “new pal”, I see ;)

Maybe he [Haymitch] wasn’t always a drunk. Maybe, in the beginning, he tried to help the tributes. But then it got unbearable. It must be hell to mentor two kids and then watch them die. - Honestly, that sounds absolutely awful...

Poor, Katniss, when she learns of Thresh’s death :( - But no one will understand my sorrow at Thresh’s murder. - It’s horrible how compassion and basic human decency gets construed as ‘weakness’ in the world of Hunger Games (esp. the Capitol)

Then I escape into sleep, comforted by a full belly and the steady warmth of Peeta beside me. - Honestly, I think a word analysis of THG-series could be interesting; how often does Katniss mention “warmth”, “steady/steadiness” “safe/safety/security” in connection with “Peeta”?

“We make a goat cheese and apple tart at the bakery,” he says. “Bet that’s expensive,” I say. “Too expensive for my family to eat. Unless it’s gone very stale. Of course, practically everything we eat is stale,” says Peeta [...] Huh. I always assumed the shopkeepers live a soft life. And it’s true, Peeta has always had enough to eat. But there’s something kind of depressing about living your life on stale bread - Katniss is starting to realize that the lives of the merchants isn’t a cushy as she thought; also, in a way, we see a “prettier” version of how Panem treats the districts overall -> feeding the districts just enough that they can do their work (plus/minus a couple of people who’ll die of starvation, but at a small, for Capitolites insignificant margin), but not so much that they are in good shape to rebel; here, the merchants of D12 have just enough that they can live a “decent” life (they know it could be worse -> the Seam), but they don’t have enough to live a free, comfortable, self-determined life either. This also just further drives a wedge between the inhabitants of D12 (the merchants won’t want to rebel because they don’t want to get ‘demoted’ in their lifestyle, starving like the people from the Seam, and the Seam folk feel resentful towards the merchant people, while also not having the resources to rebel, due to their awful socioeconomic conditions)

What would be my life like on a daily basis? Most of it has been consumed with the acquisition of food. Take that away and I’m not really sure who I am, what my identity is. - It’s so sad who Katniss has been so consumed with ensuring that her most base needs are fulfilled that she barely has had the time to really figure out who she is and what she wants from life (If we’re talking Maslow’s pyramid of needs, Katniss would primarily be stuck on the lowest tier 😢)

At least, we’ll be friends, I think. Nothing will change the fact that we’ve saved each other’s lives in here. And beyond that, he will always be the boy with the bread. Good friends. - Honestly, Katniss counting on being good friends with Peeta after the Games is the highest honor she can bestow on him at that moment (she’s so into him, lol); of course, knowing that their relationship is going to be a bit rocky once they’ve come back makes this thought a little sad... but we also know they’ll make up (and out ;) in the future

Peeta licking his plate and blowing a kiss out to Effie is such an adorable goofball-moment 😊

I cover his mouth with my hand, but I’m laughing. “Stop! Cato could be right outside our cave.” He grabs my hand away. “What do I care? I’ve got you to protect me now,” says Peeta, pulling me to him. - This moment would be so cute (also, Peeta’s so confident in Katniss’s skills to protect him, which is adorable - toxic masculinity who?) but... Ugh, he’s just so giddy here, it kind of breaks my heart for when he learns later that (at least some) of Katniss’s reactions were just for show

“If we want food, we better head back up to my old hunting grounds,” I say. “Your call, Just tell me what you need me to do,” Peeta says. - Love how Peeta’s always ready to follow Katniss’s lead :)

Ideally, I’d dump Peeta now with some simple root-gathering chore and go hunt [...] “Katniss,” he says. “We need to split up. I know I’m chasing away the game.” [...] “Show me some plants to gather and that way we’ll both be useful.” - Teamwork! If it weren’t for Katniss worrying for Peeta’s safety, they’d be on the same page here

“What if you climbed up in a tree and acted as a lookout while I haunted?” I say, trying to make it sound like very important work. “What if you show me what’s edible around here and go get us some meat?” he says, mimicking my tone. - I really like how Peeta’s challenges Katniss here; he doesn’t just go along with everything she says, while still being quite reasonable

I feel like I’m eleven, again, tethered not to the safety of the fence but to Peeta, allowing myself twenty, maybe thirty yards of hunting space. [...] I allow myself to drift farther away, and soon have two rabbits and a fat squirrel to show for it. - I don’t know, but Katniss feeling tethered to Peeta makes me think of Mary Ainsworth’s attachment theory, according to which children with a secure attachment to their primary caregiver use  their “attachment figure as a safe base to explore the environment”... Of course, Ainsworth’s Strange Situation was conducted with young children, but attachment styles are supposed to influence the relationships we form with people in our later lives as well (including romantic relationships)... I dunno, just a random association that popped into my brain 😅

Chapter 24

Peeta’s a whiz with fires, coaxing a blaze out of the damp wood. - Heh, Peeta sure knows how to handle fire, huh, Katniss (or should I say: Girl on Fire?) 😏

I order him into the sleeping bag and set aside the rest of his food for him when he wakes. He drops off immediately. I pull the sleeping bag up to his chin and kiss his forehead, not for the audience, but for me. Because I’m so greateful that he’s still here, not dead by the stream as I’d thought.  - Aww, this is so sweet (and domestic)!

It’s funny. I feel almost as if it’s the first day of the Games again. That I’m in the same position. [...] But no, there’s the boy waiting beside me. I feel his arms wrap around me. - They are a team! Katniss doesn’t have to face the horrors of the Games alone anymore! It keeps boiling down to this.

[petruchio]

i want to try to articulate my own dislike of mal in the grisha trilogy because i want to be clear that it doesn’t stem from a place of me having wanted alina to end up with someone else, nor would i really have been angry if she HAD ended up with mal if it had been written well, but i would like to take a stab at why i feel that it WASN’T. 

1. what was alina’s power meant to represent? this is honestly my main sticking point in the series as a whole. in my opinion, the way the “grisha power” is portrayed in the books is fundamentally antithetical to alina’s choices at the ending of the series. grisha power in the novels is portrayed as something innate, as something which is not separate from the self but merely an extension of the self, and as something which is essential for one’s health and, literally, lifeforce. “does the bird feel the weight of its wings,” etc., it is literally portrayed as something which is an essential part of one’s person. so -- this book is YA. YA, especially YA fantasy, tends to have some lesson to draw out to its young readers, some analog to real life meant to demonstrate something deeper. this begs the question then -- WHAT does alina’s power represent? what are its metaphorical implications? i think it’s crucial that she is initially only able to access her power when she LETS GO of mal and her unhealthy attachment to him. and at that turn in the story, she finds herself happier, freer, and healthier. so.... my question is what on earth are we meant to draw out of this, metaphorically, other than the idea that unhealthy attachment and obsession to others limits us and once we trust in ourselves completely we find our inner power? (i’d be fascinated if anyone disagrees or has different ideas about what the power and her ability to use it is meant to represent. but i have a hard time understanding it as anything else) we can further draw out some of the more literal metaphors -- regarding light and the sun. light which tends to represent joy, which reveals the unseen, which brings forth what is hidden. i think these are all pretty... on the nose metaphors. within her, alina contains this power to reveal what is hidden, to bring into the world joy and safety, and to bring balance to a world plagued by darkness. and her choice is to just... not? i just don’t think it tracks with everything else that grisha power is meant to represent.

2. what was alina’s arc meant to represent? this kind of ties into my larger issue with grisha power, but on a more individual level. you hear people justify alina’s choices by saying “she was a reluctant leader.” to which i say... then what was the point of the entire series? what did she learn? that actually her life was fine and she didn’t want to change it? i mean, power to her, but i again don’t think it follows with the portrayal of her discovery of her power (both her literal sun power and her ~internal~ power and strength) what was the point of having her have to “let go” of her attachment to mal in order to discover her power? what was the point of the line “there’s nothing wrong with being a mouse, unless you’re meant to be a hawk?” i just think these narrative beats don’t map on to her ultimate choice. 

3. the love arc of alina/mal is poorly written. in fact -- there IS no arc. she starts and ends the books in love with him. as a reader, i think this is one of the most uninteresting forms of romance to read. we have no sense of WHY she falls for him, other than the fact that they’re childhood friends which we are exposed to in a few flashbacks and stories about a vague “meadow.” but we don’t actually SEE any of this -- we basically have to take alina’s word for it that mal is amazing and perfect and he is the only person who sees her for who she “truly is” (which as an aside, i still don’t buy because again, if her power is something innate to her, he categorically DOESN’T see her as who she truly is and her whole person.) it’s hard as a reader to fall in love with a character if we don’t see the protagonist fall in love with them as well. plus, like i pointed out in her need to let go of mal -- in the start of the series, her attachment to him is framed as unhealthy and obsessive, as something she has to learn to let go of in order to become her whole self. i just don’t understand this metaphor, then, if the ultimate conclusion is that she was right to begin with.

4. i would like to draw a comparison here to the hunger games, which is a book i feel hits many of the same beats but does it (obviously perfectly) and justifies and explains katniss’ choices within the metaphorical and symbolic meaning and argument of the trilogy as a whole. i propose to break this down into three subsections and draw comparisons:

4a. the love interests. i guess mal is meant to be a sort of peeta like character, one who advocates for peace and sees the protagonist for HER not as a tool or a device. but again -- does he? i think this again ties into the idea of power as innate. none of katniss’ powers are necessarily innate to her. she’s not an amazing archer because she just happens to be so, or because she was just born that way. it’s something she learns and is forced into because of the poverty her and her family face, which again ties back into the larger social commentary of the series. she doesn’t become a symbol for the revolution because of some magical ~thing~ that she has, but because she is used and manipulated by the adults around her. but alina isn’t like that! she doesn’t learn to be a sun summoner because of the society she lives in, she just IS. she is also used as a symbol by the adults around her -- but because of her LITERAL power. so mal’s dislike of that aspect of her doesn’t read like peeta’s distaste for the capitol, it just reads like... he doesn’t like a part of her. then i guess you also have a bit of the gale mapped onto mal, as her childhood best friend. but i again feel that this is a poor analog. again with the distaste for the capitol vs. distaste for her grisha power. gale rejects katniss’ new life because it seems to him to represent the wealth and power of his oppressors. mal rejects it for apparently the same reasons -- but the power is represented as something internal to her. it’s different than wearing fancier clothes or living in a nicer house because of artificial social divisions. sure, the SOCIAL divisions between grisha and non grisha in the book are artificial. but she LITERALLY has a magic power. so again to my point about her power -- it just doesn’t make sense in context of how the power is described. 

4b. the villain. let’s imagine a hunger games where president snow is young and sexy and manipulates katniss by making out with her instead of just threatening those she loves. uhhhhhhhhhh. i just think this confuses the reader too much to be effective. once again, if this had been written a bit better i think it could’ve worked, but like. it wasn’t. there’s a reason people really thought they were going to end up together. in thg is that katniss is just.... some girl. she’s not snow’s only equal in the world, the one destined to balance his power, the only one who can understand his life and reality, his only immortal partner. again with the symbolism just not matching up to what seems to be the intention behind the story. okay, the darkling is evil. alina is good. so the solution is... kill him and stop using her own power? but the rest of the grisha and their powers are all fine? again, WHAT is the implication about power? it just doesn’t make sense.

4c. the choice at the end to live a peaceful life and reject the narrative which society has placed on you. this is where i think tgt really falls flat at trying to achieve and make a similar argument to thg. crucially, katniss’ choice is pretty metaphorically obvious. gale and peeta both hate the capitol, but have different opinions of the solution. peeta represents peace, gale war. (suzanne collins has literally said this.) katniss’ choice at the end of thg to live peacefully with peeta is a broader commentary on the nature of peace and the need to choose peace. but alina’s choice doesn’t read this way -- because in order to choose peace she literally has to deny a part of herself! a part of herself that is clearly an analog to finding herself in the series! 

these are all just some general thoughts about where i think tgt fails to really take on the implications of the power it seeks to portray. i think there are a lot of potential and legitimate criticisms of a lot of my points here, but i think overall it will always come back to the power for me. why was she sickly and sad before she discovered her power? why does she find joy and fun only once she is able to access a part of herself which she had repressed for so long only out of an unhealthy attachment to her childhood? if the power she wields is just too much for the world to handle, and same with the darkling, then why is grisha power portrayed as innate natural and essential? 

the realities of how power is portrayed in the grisha trilogy are why i ultimately believe her choice of mal and her choice to give up her power makes no sense and does not track onto the literal and metaphorical implications of the trilogy. 

[aerielz]

come and untangle me one of these days

- a dream. a mistake. company, to make it better.

This is for and because of everyone in the original Flower Shop!AU post notes, specially @claudiasjeancregg and @stars-on-the-cuffs-of-her-jeans. You guys went waaaay too fast and I’m still trying to put Donna in here let alone everyone else, but I do hope everyone enjoys this! Title from Come and Find Me, by Josh Ritter. I feel like everything I’ll ever write for this AU will be somehow based off this song, tbh.

fandom: the west wing pairings: JD, CJ/Toby wc: 2453 rating: gen tag: flowershop au

He wakes up at the crack of dawn, stirred by some weird dream he can’t quite remember — some bittersweet memory. The coffee he takes washes away the sweetness and he’s left with only the bitter of it, stuck to the back of his throat.

He leaves the house, then. The streets are still somewhat deserted, but, much like his hometown, DC never really sleeps. Toby walks the five minutes from his house to the shop, and watches as the sun comes up behind the Capitol dome.

Walking into the storefront proves itself a bigger hazard than his own mood, though, as he is almost run over by a flurry of blonde as soon as he steps through the threshold— “Wow.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!,” Donna is already there, crossing quickly towards a table under the wall-to-wall window with a spray bottle in hand and talking into a phone she holds with her shoulder. “Oh— no, no, don’t worry, that was just Mr. Ziegler. Yes, of course. Yeah. Yeah, I’ll let him know, don’t— tomorrow? That should be hard, how about Saturday? Okay. Okay, thank you so much, Dr. Bartlett.”

“Donna,” he says when she hangs up.

“Shouldn’t we receive a shipment of sunflowers this weekend?” She sprays a mist over an arrangement of daisies.

It's too early for this. Too early for and her energy and her incessant talking, but somehow Toby can never be mad at Donna. Even when she sends congratulatory arrangements to funerals by accident. Even when she turns around still spraying, causing him to find himself inside a cloud.

“Donna—”

“We’ll sure need them, Dr. Bartlett just called saying that Liz will be home for the weekend.”

"How many times I have to tell you to never call me Mr. Ziegler?"

"Should I call you Mr. Grumpy, then?"

"It's Mr. nothing, Donna."

"Oh, c'mon. Don’t be so harsh on yourself,” she jokes. But her quip lacks the bite and the sparkle, and Toby finally notices it — she was here before sunup, too.

He barely has time to register the conversation and that last fact when the bell above the door rings behind him. His heart skips a beat.

Donna looks up to check and her eyes widen, just a little bit. Just enough.

“Oh, God, no, not him,” he mutters to himself.

“Can anyone tell me what magnolias are supposed to stand for?”

Toby sighs, closing his eyes.

“This is a flower shop,” he says, turning around, “can’t say much about trees.”

Josh Lyman, arrogant extraordinaire, flashes a smirk, shrugging apologetically. "Maybe you should start thinking about expanding."

He swagger his way further into the shop, stopping just beside him.

“I—,” she says, putting a strand of hair behind her ear, “Well, actually flowers from magnolias are very common in bridal bouquets. They’re these beautiful, delicate, things, they’re supposed to be all about purity and nobility.”

This is why he keeps her here, Toby thinks. For every fact about flowers that he doesn’t know, Donna knows five he’s pretty sure no one but her knows about. But she looks down to the floor, and Toby thinks she sounds sad, somehow.

“Well, that..." Josh’s smirk quickly turns into a grimace. "That makes sense."

“The more you know,” he says, clapping his hands against his legs. "Well, you got your answer, then."

"Yeah, maybe... maybe we should focus on some other flower," Josh says.

Toby is more than ready to focus on showing Josh the door when—

The bell rings again.

Sam walks in, saying, "Oh. And here I was thinking I was gonna be the first."

Toby runs a hand over his face and takes a glance at his wristwatch. It’s barely seven. "Why are you all even up?"

"No reason," Josh answers. It's way too quick, but he's not about to question him.

"The magnolias, they..." Donna looks up directly at Josh, "Why you ask?"

"I— uh."

"Magnolias!," chimes in Sam, leaving his shoulder bag in a corner and sitting on top of the sales counter, right beside Donna, "Such pretty flowers! We're doing bridal bouquets, now? We should, the marriage stuff really is great business."

"Oh, God, no," Josh mutters.

"It really is!,” Sam continues, “There’s definitely money in the sector, and it’s not like it’s an unpleasant job. Donna here, for example, would love it. Anyone with a knack for romance would, really.”

“You work the afternoon shift,” Toby tells Sam, exasperated and already so, so, tired. “On weekends. What the hell are you doing here?”

“I have no idea, Josh was the one who called me.”

“And you came?”

"Absolutely," says Sam, almost triumphant. “I mean why not?”

“I can think of at least, I don’t know, twenty reasons.”

“Well, I like to help my friends when I can, Toby. For the same reasons I think we should really start doing weddings.”

“Unbelievable,” he cries out, “How did we even get to this point of the conversation, we are not doing weddings, what’s wrong with you?”

“I’m a romantic—”

“Yeah, that explains it.”

“—and you know what, I think you are one, too. I think most, if not all, of us here are. Or you're gonna tell me you wouldn't like the sight of the love of your life, surrounded by blooms and blossoms, walking her way towards you? Or, or— maybe doing that walk yourself, that would probably be quite an experience, right? C’mon, Donna, you look like someone who dreams about a big wedding, tell ‘em."

"I... really rather not."

"God, kill me. Right now," Josh mutters a bit too loud, "Just kill me."

Toby notices, strangely enough, that Donna seems to second that thought, but the impression barely has time to settle in because at that exact moment the door opens again. But instead of the light, almost quiet, chime of the bell, they hear a sharp shrill and a loud thud, from the door connecting violently with the wall.

"Joshua Lyman, I will have you hanged," a familiar voice booms.

"I didn’t mean literally," Josh whispers to no one.

"What the actual f— I mean, really, I am never leaving you in charge of the schedule again. Amy just called me asking for your head and I’m pretty sure Joey wants your nuts served on sterling silver — why the hell did you think it was a good idea to have everyone here at like six in the morning, Joshua?"

“Look—”

“Choose your next words carefully because in order for you to keep your internal organs on the inside of your body this will have to be really good.”

His answer ends up not coming in words at all, but in a pleading look — the wide eyes of a man who needs help.

The room awaits silently for Josh's defense, but Toby is looking at CJ, who, for some reason, seems to have a monopoly on his attention whenever she's in the room. And so he catches the moment when her gazes subtly travel to Donna's face. He follows just as carefully, to find her sniffling quietly, cleaning her eyes with the sleeves of her cardigan.

CJ swallows and tracks her eyes back to Josh. Something passes between the two, some understanding, that Toby is not privy to.

“Well." She sighs, rage completely gone. Everyone looks at her. "Since we’re here... maybe... we could all just have something nice to eat...? My treat.”

Josh is visibly relieved.

"I'll take you up on that," Sam says, "I haven't eaten a thing yet."

"You left home without eating?," Donna asks.

"I'm not used to waking up this early."

"Well, let's put some kind of food inside you then," CJ says.

"And coffee," he completes.

They all walk to the nearest café together, finding Bonnie on her bike on her way to work. She unmounts and joins them. Ginger arrives later, when they're all making a fuss over latte flavours, chipping in too. Seasonal spices are seasonal, that's why they're special!, cries out Donna. Nonsense, says Josh, what if I want pumpkin spice all year round, what's wrong with that?

Toby is equal parts impressed and not at all by Josh having an elaborate coffee order. He's hanging back behind the group, watching them have fun with nothing but their own friendship, when CJ finds him.

"What about you, Tobus, gonna drown yourself in cinnamon and allspice, too?," she asks.

He lets himself laugh, "I don't think I have it in me to drink something that complicated."

"A simple man, huh."

"You could say that," he tries and fails to hide a smile.

"I have just the thing."

She enters the line and comes back two minutes later, shoving a blueberry muffin into his hands.

"You didn't have to."

She's the one smiling, then. "I know."

CJ looks up ahead at the rest of their party and her gaze falls on Donna, going soft when she watches how openly the woman laughs while trying to argue some sense into Josh about something as innocuous as coffee.

“Why do I have the impression you know something about my own employee that I don’t...?," Toby asks, then takes a bite from his muffin. It's a bit too sweet for him, but it tastes good. It feels good, like replenishing something inside him.

“I... might.”

“CJ.”

“I’m not supposed to say anything.”

“Those flower arrangements, you like them a lot, right.”

“You don’t play fair.”

“It’s why I’ll never be a professional baseball player.”

“Could've had a chance with the Red Socks team of nineteen—”

“You don’t know anything about baseball, stop obfuscating.”

She sighs, sagging.

“She was supposed to be getting married today.”

Toby chokes on a piece of his muffin. CJ gives him a slap on the back.

“Married?”, he all but yells, between coughs.

“Keep your voice down!”

“What do you mean married?,” he whisper-yells, “You’re telling me she was supposed to marry that asshole?”

“We all make mistakes.”

“Voice of experience?”

“I’m a tattoo artist, Tobias, I have seen things.”

"Married," he repeats. "Married! She's, what, twenty-five? And she's supposed to be getting married to— to a guy who wanted her to throw her entire life away to—"

"I shouldn't have told you anything."

"—what, pay his bills?!"

He breathes in deeply and takes a big bite out of his muffin, knowing the sugar will help him cool down.

It must be quite a picture, his beard covered in crumbs while he munches angrily, because CJ looks at him like she’s about to burst into laughter.

“What?”

"I swear to god between you and Josh the girl’s got more protection than a mafia daughter.”

"Josh knows?," that explains a lot, he thinks. "You're not very good at keeping secrets are you."

"Listen pal, I am very good at it, I just... She needed help, okay?"

"And you think we’re the right people to help her?"

He's not being skeptical, he really isn't. But Donna’s far away from home, and she’s bound to be missing more substantial support. It is true that CJ has a way of making him feel better by just being there, though, and to be fair it is a general talent of hers. Regardless of his protests both her and Josh, they do this, somehow. They arrive, arguing over something tiny, and he forgets he’s worried about anything.

"Yeah, I mean," she shrugs, "isn’t that what friends are for?"

Toby looks up ahead at the people who came around the shop, and all the way here, too, just to keep each other company.

“I think it might work,” CJ concludes.

Between their party and the sugar in his system, he can’t remember what was it that upset him so much that morning.

They all sit on a big table outside the shop, still discussing seasonal lattes. Sam remembers some of his favorites, recalling one or two that never came back another year. Ginger and Bonnie share hot chocolate recipes, and Donna makes notes.

The sun settles itself in the sky and shines down warmly. The District starts moving faster, getting into the gears of the day.

Their regular opening hour approaches.

CJ rises from her place beside Toby and motions with her head for Josh to follow her.

“It's been nice to be robbed blind by a coffee shop chain for your benefit, but we better get to work.”

“Thanks for coming around,” Donna tells her, “I've been having a couple of rough days and…this helped.”

“You should come up to the shop, if it happens again,” CJ says. “Just to hang around. There's always someone there to keep you company.”

“Come today, even,” Josh completes, “I think Amy might not murder me if there’s witnesses.”

“Today's probably not gonna happen,” Donna answers, “We'll be doing some new arrangements, for a while, Dr. Bartlett called.”

“MD or PhD?”

“It’s a lot of work anyway, so does it really matter?”

Josh smiles, shaking his head, “I guess not.”

Is there someone he didn't call?, Toby thinks.

Josh and CJ bid the rest of the table goodbye and head in the direction of their shop. The conversation around them resumes, but Donna is chewing on her lips instead of jumping in to refute Sam's argumentation over croissants.

She steals a glance to watch their backs retreat on the sidewalk, but, before they can get too far, Donna bolts from her seat and stops Josh with a hand on his forearm.

“Josh.”

He stops and looks back. “Yeah?”

She hesitates. When she speaks, it is just loud enough for him to hear.

"Why did you ask about the magnolias?"

She notices she’s still holding him by his shirt and lets go of it, but Josh slides his hand into hers. "Someone came into the shop yesterday to get them done. They reminded me of you.”

He gives her hand a squeeze, that she returns. They share a smile.

“Maybe I could come around tomorrow?,” she says.

“Yeah,” he nods, “Yeah, I think I’d like that. See you tomorrow, then.”

A few steps behind Josh, CJ is watching them, too.

She finds Toby's gaze, when Josh releases Donna's hand to join her. And gives him a wink.

He laughs at the ridiculousness of it, at how warm it makes him feel. But something in the gesture between him makes him believe that there are better days ahead. For all of them.

He turns back to the table around him and when Donna sits down he finally gives in— “You’re all delusional, black forest is just chocolate and cherry, it tastes the same anywhere.”

—starting another round of protests that leads to laughter and lively conversation that lasts the rest of the day.

[chrysalispen]

Prompt #25 - Wish

aurelia bas laskaris, age 16

AO3 Link HERE

=============

Sometimes it seemed as though the entire span of L'haiya dus Eyahri’s life had been defined by the Empire. It had influenced her path even before she was born. Her mother had been in the city of Rabanastre when it fell to imperial troops, and the Garlean soldier who had sired her--- well, best not to think much on him. Mother had wed a cobbler from the edge of the capitol's market district when L'haiya was four summers old. He had raised her, and to L’haiya’s mind he was her true father.

In the old days she might have attended a primary school before taking on her family's trade, but under imperial occupation such luxuries were not afforded to her or her compeers. L'haiya and her half-sister L'jhutei were sent away to a school in the capitol for "the finest education the Empire can offer" as it was phrased by the viceroy ("propaganda," her father had called it, muttering it so quietly that he must have thought her unable to hear), one which had turned out to be a military school. Both sisters had had a commission into the legions after graduation.

L’haiya had almost taken it, too. But then? Well, then she had met Vittora cen Remianus, and Vittora had met her husband, and…

Perhaps it was for the best. Her service to the Laskaris family had earned her a fast path to imperial citizenship, after all; Mama would have said one was as good as the other, were she here, and the equally practical L'haiya was not one to look too much askance at such a boon. Even if it had left her in the rather troublesome position of raising her friend's child.

She stared at that slumped posture, the bowed golden head. From the porch, she could see her charge's shoulders trembling but could not tell if she was shivering from the night air or if she was still crying.

L’haiya felt a sort of stern and helpless pity for her. Although Julian rem Laskaris’ only child had learned something of the importance of controlling herself and learning which battles to pick (particularly in a place like the Empire, where speaking one’s mind in the wrong ears could have very severe consequences indeed), children would be children. The girl was very young and very sheltered, and she had been friends with the boy since they were small. L’haiya didn’t suppose she would have taken well to the news either were their positions reversed.

Quietly she rapped on the door and stepped over the threshold into the garden. The stars overhead were a diamond spray and the air still carried the day's warmth.

“Aurelia.”

“Go away,” the Garlean girl said in a choked voice. “I don’t want to talk.”

L’haiya made her way down the steps and into the grass, her skirts swishing about her legs, and perched herself upon the edge of the Doman fountain next to her charge. Aurelia’s body went rigid, but she said nothing and remained in place. “Your father-”

“If you’ve come to tell me I was a fool, you needn’t do so. I know I shouldn’t have said what I did. I know.” The girl sniffled and wiped at her eyes, then returned her hands to her lap. “But I just- I don’t understand how Father could do this to me. I didn’t even get to tell him goodbye, or wish him well! If I could have had at least a few more days with him then-”

“I think that would have been quite unwise.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your father had nothing to do with L’sazha’s early departure, Aurelia. He left under my advisement.” The Miqo’te’s voice was steady. Calm. “And 'tis well that he did. You’ve caused trouble enough for the boy as it is.”

“Sazha is an adult by imperial law. As am I,” Aurelia said stiffly. “We’ve hardly any need for my father’s approval to do as we wish.”

“What you did,” she snapped back, her words clipped and cold, “posed a serious risk not just to you, but to L’sazha. The tribunus would have had him swinging from the nearest gibbet did he know the extent of your dalliance.”

"But he didn't know. We were careful and nothing happened until you decided to meddle in our affairs. Father barely cares enough to ask me about my studies, never mind aught else."

L’haiya wanted to shake her. She took a deep, measured breath.

“I was young once myself. And I daresay I was just as selfish and thoughtless,” she said. “I can hardly fault you for your age. But I feel the need to spare you your blushes by explaining the implications of what you did, as you don’t appear to quite understand the magnitude of it.”

“If we were adventurers, no one would have cared who I am, or what we-”

"The fact is that you are not an adventurer, Aurelia,” she snapped. “And this is not Eorzea. For better or worse we live in the Garlean Empire and under imperial jurisdiction. L'sazha is my legal ward and you are a lady of a certain social status. Better that you be angry with me for a time. It would have been not only dangerous to let the two of you continue on as you were, but it would also have been wildly irresponsible on my part.”

Aurelia looked stricken, her face pale. Relentlessly, L’haiya continued on.

“They hang our kind for far lesser offenses, Aurelia. If you care a whit about that boy, even a fraction of what you claim, you’ll go apologize to your father and put a decisive end to this romance of yours.”

“But-”

“But what?”

Aurelia’s chin quivered.

“I love him. I’ve loved him for so long.”

Seven hells, she might have known it was as simple - and as dangerous - as that. She’d assumed the girl’s interest in her Miqo'te companion to be little more than a childish infatuation, but it seemed their feelings had blossomed beneath her nose into something deeper than she had suspected. She had deluded herself it would pass, and in the meantime, they'd fallen in love with each other. Or as close as a pair of children could get to romantic love.

“I know you think you’re in love with him, Aurelia. But you’ll move on. And so will he. That's the way of things, good and bad.”

“No, I won’t,” she choked. “You don’t understand at all. He loves me, and once I’m done with school and my enlistment-”

“Let Sazha move on with his life,” L’haiya said, in a quieter, gentler tone. Better not to let the girl finish that statement. Better not to let her even entertain the notion it might be possible. “Let him find himself. He deserves better than my largesse and your shadow.”

Aurelia's stare was full of incredulous fury- and then her angry expression crumpled into one of despair, and on its heels welled a single sob of broken-hearted anguish. This time L’haiya put an arm about her shoulders and pulled her in for an embrace, and met no resistance. One of the girl's hands dropped into her lap and the other grasped at a handful of L’haiya’s linen shirtwaist as she buried her head under her governess’ chin.

“It’s all right, sunshine,” L'haiya murmured. “All will be well in the end. You'll see.”

“I’ll never love anyone again.”

“Yes, you will.”

“As long as I live,” she vowed, “never.”

She kissed the bright golden crown of hair and nestled her cheek against its softness, this child who she loved as her own, and let her spend her grief without comment. It was what it was. Years abroad on tour with the army would do one of two things to their relationship - either it would strengthen their resolve to be together (in which case, L’haiya thought, they would have little choice but to defect) or it would cool their passions. L’haiya expected the latter; sixteen was very young, and carried with it little foresight or understanding of the way love worked.

But she knew Aurelia would hear none of that. The girl might have the look of her mother but she was every bit as obstinate as Julian rem Laskaris had ever been.

“Elle?” the girl said, in a small and choked voice.

“What?”

“Can I tell you something? A secret?”

“Go on.”

The hand that had gathered in her shirtwaist clenched into a fist.

“Sometimes,” she whispered, “I wish I had never been born.”

“Oh, child, you don’t mean that.”

“I do.” The words were harshly emphatic. “Mama and Father were so happy together. But then I came along and ruined everything.”

“That’s not true at all.”

“It is. I wish I weren’t who I am.”

“Why would you even consider something so dreadful?” L’haiya felt something in her chest twist. “Aurelia, darling-”

“I mean it. Every time Father looks at me, I see it in his eyes,” she choked. “He resents me. If he had the choice between me or Mama, he’d have taken Mama without even thinking about it. Sazha made me happy. I didn’t have to feel guilty about being myself when I was with him, ever. And now he’ll be on the other side of the world and I’ll just- I’ll be here, making everyone unhappy just by existing. If I just hadn’t- I just-"

"Aurelia-"

"I just wish I could be someone else!” she wailed. "I wish I could be somewhere else, I wish I had any kind of purpose, but I don't, I'm just trapped in this cage and I can't-"

L’haiya bowed her head. There was nothing she could say and little more she could do, to speak either to her charge's frustration or her suffocating loneliness. She was a practical woman who had made a promise to a close friend to watch over her family, but nothing in that promise had prepared her for a man so bereft of his wife he could not bear to raise his own child.

Something had to be done, she thought. Or at least said. It was her fault for allowing Julian to continue as he had done for so many years, not wanting to rock the boat and tell him he needed to behave like the father he was. She decided she would speak with him tonight, as soon as she was able.

But in the meantime, she couldn't leave Aurelia alone like this. So she sat with the girl in silence, and let her weep until there were no tears left to shed.

[asongofbutterflies]

rereading the hunger games

PART 2 I part 1

‘I want to die as myself. Does that make any sense?’, he asks. I shake my head. How could he die as anyone but himself? ‘I don’t want them to change me in there. Turn me into some kind of monster that I’m not.’

:(

cinna understands katniss so well. it’s no wonder she felt so bonded to him so quickly

he boosts her confidence when she needs it. he helps calm her down and see sense after peeta’s interview. he’s gentle with her. reminds her how to stay alive in those final moments before the games. encourages her. 

cinna is her grounding force 

Eleven dead, but none from District 12. I try to work out who is left. Five Career Tributes. Foxface. Thresh and Rue. Rue...so she made it through the first day after all. I can’t help feeling glad.

I wonder if the victim is Rue but quickly dismiss the thought. She’s much too bright to be building a fire like that.

And what about Rue? She’s so small, it wouldn’t take much venom to do her in. But then again...the tracker jackers would’ve had to catch her, and she had a good head start.

Katniss’ concern for Rue before they even form an alliance is so sweet and heartbreaking

ohhh the betrayal i felt when I first read that peeta had allied himself with the Careers....

the gamemakers were taking such a big risk with their fireball attack. yes it would have been an ironic death for ‘the girl on fire’ but katniss is just too interesting to kill on day 4.

also the fire burns 4 inches of her hair off! seems like they were aiming to kill

The girl with the arrows, Glimmer I hear someone call her—ugh, the names the people in District 1 give their children are so ridiculous...

i spy a little dig at celebrity baby names

ok so we’re on day 5 in the arena and katniss has 1) almost died from dehydration/exhaustion 2) felt betrayed by peeta 3) literally been attacked by fire, suffering from burns 4) been stung by tracker jackers, experiencing horrible hallucinations & 5) been saved by peeta. cool cool cool

sidenote: tracker jackers are way worse than i remember— “carefully created to target the place where fear lives in your brain”—yeah no thanks

If, in fact, Peeta did save me, I’m in his debt again. And this can’t be paid back. ‘If he did, it was all probably just part of his act. You know, to make people think he’s in love with me.’ ‘Oh,’ says Rue thoughtfully. ‘I didn’t think that was an act.’

Rue, rue, r u e. precious precious girl. 

rue not believing that katniss actually wanted to ally with her. snuggling together in the sleeping bag. helping katniss and following her around like a little shadow. she is a child :( 

Traditionally, the Career tributes’ strategy is to get hold of all the food early on and work from there. The years when they have not protected it well—one year a pack of hideous reptiles destroyed it, another a Gamemakers’ flood washed it away—those are usually the years tributes from other districts have won.

anyone else thinking of finnick and annie???

rue calling out for katniss when she’s caught in the net :( 

d11 gifting the loaf of bread to katniss as a sign of gratitude is such a beautiful touch. it’s also another instance of bread symbolizing hope for katniss

katniss really loved rue. she experiences several symptoms of depression after her death—lethargy, staring off into space, lacking motivation. not unlike how her mother reacted to her father’s death

katniss is no rebel without a cause. it is only after witnessing the senseless death of rue that she starts believing that she can win, partly motivated by her desire to stick it to the capitol

aaaaaaannnd they announced the rule change & katniss is off to find peeta. time for a little romance 

[1dfangirls35]

Voir Dire (N.H.)

A fake dating OU about contracts, soulmates and risking it all for love

Masterlist // Tell Me What You Think!

twenty

Days turn into weeks. Weeks turn into months. And soon, Niall's name no longer flashed across Kelsey's screen.

Kelsey wanted to feel relieved that the temptation was no longer there. That she wouldn't have to feel a shockwave through her body every time her notifications brought up his number. She knew that was what she needed. She needed to forget about him. But a part of her longed for the reminders that even after she'd broken his heart, he was still thinking about her. Because it was those messages that had reminded her that she wasn't the only one that couldn't move on.

Soon, Kelsey locked any thoughts of Niall deep in the back of her mind. If she didn't think about him she didn't miss him. She didn't wonder what might have happened had she chosen not to sign that paper. She didn't wonder if she had made the biggest mistake of her life.

She had been more successful at keeping her Niall thoughts at bay than she thought she would be- apart from when a video of Niall's smashed Range Rover came across the Inside Edition episode Becca happened to be watching one night. When Kelsey saw that her heart had dropped in her chest, and all she wanted, more than anything, was to pick up her phone and make sure he was okay. All she wanted was to snuggle up next to him, and nurse him back to health and spend a week just watching movies. But she couldn't do that. She couldn't do any of that. And instead she had to spend hours that night searching the internet for the news that she so desperately needed to hear. That he was okay.

So when she caught Niall's icy blue eyes gazing at her from a glossy magazine cover in the grocery store checkout line, she tried to ignore it. 

She tried to pretend that it was the face of anyone else. Anyone but the man that despite her best efforts still had a grip on her heart. But she couldn't bring her eyes away, because there on the cover was a picture of Niall and Krystal, and one word in big bold white letters that made Kelsey's stomach drop. Baby.

Kelsey felt her palms begin to sweat, her heart begin to race, and the taste of bile climb up her throat. Yes, she and Niall had been over for a few months. But only a few- well four if you wanted to be exact.

Four months and he was already having a baby with her? Really?

Meanwhile, Kelsey couldn't even think about dating. She couldn't even look at a guy without thinking of the one that got away- or more accurately, the one that she let go of.

Kelsey wanted to believe that this was all just another publicity stunt. She knew the ends that Capitol Records would go to to get what they wanted. It wouldn't be that far-fetched, a pregnancy to keep the romance narrative going. But then she began to think about why Niall would need more publicity in the first place. The album was out, the tour was announced, there was absolutely no reason that the label would need this kind of attention from the two of them. In fact, Kelsey had thought that perhaps by now Niall and Krystal would be done. The conditions of their contract fulfilled, their relationship no more.

Clearly Kelsey had everything wrong -especially Niall.

"Did you want one of those ma'am?" the cashier, who looked like he was all but about twelve years old asked, gesturing towards the glossy piece of tabloid that Kelsey somehow now held in her hand. Did she want one? Was he serious?

"I don't buy trash," Kelsey snapped, quickly attempting to shove the magazine back into the slot where it came from. She used a bit too much force and instead of the offending piece of what could barely be called journalism returning to its spot on the shelf, several more magazines fell to floor, as if they were taunting her.

"God dammit Niall," Kelsey muttered a little too loudly. The cashier looked at her with concerned eyes, obviously wondering what on earth had caused the crazy woman in front of him to lash out at a stack of magazines.

"I'm sorry, I'll.." Kelsey began, bending down to try and pick up some of the mess she had made.

"Ma'am really it's fine we'll get them," the kid said, flashing his best 'you've already made a mess please don't make it worse' eyes. Kelsey suceded, reaching into her black Micheal Kors to pull out her wallet. "Your total is 32.59," the cashier stated as Kelsey slid her card into the chip reader. It's only as she held it there that she realizes her hand is trembling.

The second she loaded her groceries in the car, slamming the trunk with a forceful thud, she collapsed into the front seat, her body crumbling into the steering wheel. It was then that the sobs took over- slow at first then quickly increasing to a rate that made even breathing difficult. She felt the tears begin to rush down her face, leaving watery track marks down the front of her cheeks. Kelsey didn't have to look into the rear view mirror to know that her eyeliner was now displaced into a raccoon eye formation.

Kelsey didn't even know why she was crying. She was the one that had gotten them in this mess hadn't she? She'd been the one to sign that stupid piece of paper, the one that signed away quite possibly the love of her life. Had her future been worth it? Was this heartbreak worth pursuing her dream as a lawyer?

She needed to talk to someone- anyone. But she soon realized that there is only one person she can possibly talk to. The only person that she'd broken the non-disclosure agreement for was Becca. And Becca was five hours away in Los Angeles, while Kelsey was at Stanford all alone.

Becca picked up on the first ring. "Kels?" the concern in her voice makes Kelsey assume that she'd likely already seen the news. Of course she had, Becca was a TMZ junkie. Kelsey wondered why Becca hadn't sent her at least some warning about this. Maybe then she wouldn't have looked like such an idiot in the store. But of course Becca hadn't said anything, Kelsey had explicitly told her to keep all entertainment news related to Niall to herself.

"Did you see?" Kelsey hiccupped, her sobs making the words nearly incomprehensible.

"Yes," Becca replied softly. "Where are you Kels? Are you okay?"

Kelsey paused for moment. "Not really. I'm in the supermarket parking lot. Made a damn fool of myself with the magazines." She inhaled deeply, "I wish you were here."

"I'll be there soon. I'm already on my way," Becca said, and it's only then that Kelsey notices her voice is distorted from the Bluetooth of her car speaker.

"But Becca, it's a Tuesday night and it's a five hour drive," Kelsey began to protest.

"Kels," Becca interrupted before Kelsey can argue any further. "It's only two more hours now. Get home safely, I'll be there soon."

Kelsey barely heard Becca enter her apartment  two hours later. Without speaking her friend immediately climbed onto the grey plush bedspread next to her, wrapping her arms around her. Kelsey rested her tear-stricken face against Becca's shoulder, as Becca softly ran her finger through Kelsey's hair, still not saying a word.

Kelsey wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, her head buried into Becca's navy crewneck, before Becca finally whispered, "Maybe it's not real Kels, those tabloids are a load of shit sometimes."

Kelsey wanted more than anything for Becca to be right. For this to be yet another attention-seeking tabloid story with no evidence to back its claims. But there was feeling sitting deep in Kelsey's gut. A feeling that she couldn't shake. A feeling that told her that this was true.

"It's true," Kelsey sobbed. "I know it is."

"Kels," Becca sighed, before stopping, obviously realizing that nothing that she was going to say would convince Kelsey that what she'd seen was false. "Even if it's true, doesn't mean they are together."

Hearing Becca say those words out loud made Kelsey realize that that was her worst fear in all of this. It wasn't that Niall had gotten someone else pregnant. A one-night stand wouldn't hurt so much. What was ripping Kelsey apart inside was the thought that Niall might have fallen in love with someone else, that he would have moved on. That he might have moved on with Krystal.

"Niall will stick with her though. He's that kind of guy." Kelsey began to imagine that even if they weren't together, they would be eventually. Niall would do the right thing. He'd rise to the occasion. They'd start a life together- raising a little baby with eyes as blue as the sea. It wouldn't happen overnight, but Niall would eventually fall in love with her. He'd watch her mother their child, and he'd see her in a new light. They'd become the new Hollywood power couple. The girl who'd broken his heart for a place at Stanford Law wouldn't even cross his mind. And it would all be Kelsey's doing. 

"This is all my fault," Kelsey shook her head bringing her head to her hands.

"Kels," Becca began to protest, resting a hand on Kelsey's back, but Kelsey doesn't give her a chance to say a word.

"No, it is!" Kelsey exclaimed, sitting up abruptly. "I'm the one that signed that paper. I'm the one that walked away without any explanation. I'm the one that broke his heart. No wonder he went and fucked her." The big, sloppy tears were falling down Kelsey's cheeks again, and her nose was beginning to run. As she wiped her eyes with her forearm, leaving a trail of black mascara behind, Kelsey wondered if she looked as much of a mess as she felt.

"You were manipulated!" Becca's voice raised. "It's no one's fault but Niall's freaking management!" Becca grabbed ahold of Kelsey's arms, looking her straight in the eyes. "They are the ones to blame. Don't you ever apologize for choosing to pursue your dream, okay?"

Kelsey nodded unconvinced. "Then why do I still feel like I've just been stabbed in the chest ten times over?"

"Because your heart is still broken. You lost a great love, it doesn't mend that easily," Becca's voice has softened again. 

"Unless you're Niall clearly," Kelsey muttered under her breath.

Kelsey wondered what was going through Niall's mind the first time he was with Krystal. Did Kelsey cross his mind? Did he do it because he knew- he knew just how much it would hurt her? 

Her thoughts began to run down a long and winding path. A dangerous one. A path that was leading her to question everything she ever had with Niall. Maybe Niall and Krystal been falling in love right under her nose. Maybe she'd been the fool in all this, the one who was blind to the inevitable relationship that was about to blossom. Maybe everything she'd ever had with Niall had just been a lie.

"Do you think they were together before? Before I signed the contract?" Kelsey's voice shook as she spoke. 

"Kels, don't get ridiculous now. Niall loved you. He may not have always made the best decisions, especially with his choice of management, but if there's one thing that I'm not questioning right now, it's the fact that that boy was head over heels in love with you."

This somehow made Kelsey cry harder, her throat beginning to sting from the tears. 

"Listen Kels, this is an impossible situation," Becca began, her fingers picking at the edge of Kelsey's bedspread. "We'll never know the whole story and unfortunately, there's so many factors that are out of our control. But this is what I do know. I know that we are going to sit here and you are going to cry those big fat crocodile tears out until you have no more left."

Kelsey smiled ever slow slightly, sniffling.

"And then, tomorrow, you are going to never open a tabloid again. You are going to prepare for your first semester of law school- which let's see starts," Becca paused for emphasis. "Next week. I know that you are going to prove that this was not in vain. I know that you are not going to have given up someone you loved dearly for nothing."

"And most importantly," Becca said, her voice stern. "I know that you are the strongest, smartest and most resilient woman I know, and that you will get through this just like you have every other obstacle that life has thrown you," Becca smiled at Kelsey. "You're always going to have me, okay?"

"Thank you," Kelsey whispered, wrapping her arms around Becca. And for just a second, Kelsey believed that maybe everything was going to be okay.

Tag List: @awomanindeniall​​ , @ihearthemcallingforyou​ , @niall-is-my-dream​​ ,​  @stylishmuser​​​ , @thicksniall​

[zutaralesbian]

So i've seen from a few viral posts on here that it's becoming a new thing to hate on the Peeta/Katniss relationship in The Hunger Games. (I've also seen some criticism towards the Gale/Katniss relationship that isn't entirely fair, but since that wasn't something I shipped, I won't be going into that). But here's me defending one of my oldest het ships from some of the points people bring up that I don't believe are true.

"Peeta feels entitled to Katniss"

The only time I can think of where this could appear to be true is the ending of the first book and the very beginning of Catching Fire. Katniss spent the last few chapters or so of the first book pretending to be in love with Peeta in order to sell their fake romance to the Capitol and recieve sponsors to help them survive. And when she reveals to Peeta that she doesn't truly feel anything romantic for him, he's hurt and ends up lashing out at her by giving her the cold shoulder.

Now, Peeta was completely wrong in this scenario. He's human and humans don't always react or handle things in the right way, especially in highly emotional situations. Still, it doesn't excuse him for lashing out at Katniss when she was just doing what she had to do in order to get them both out of the arena alive. I agree with that.

But the thing that people leave out or forget is that Peeta eventually realizes and acknowledges that he was wrong. And he apologizes to Katniss.

He takes a deep breath. "Look, Katniss, I've been wanting to talk to you about the way I acted on the train. I mean, the last train. The one that brought us home. I knew you had something with Gale. I was jealous of him before I even officially met you. And it wasn't fair to hold you to anything that happened in the Games. I'm sorry."

His apology takes me by surprise. It's true that Peeta froze me out after I confessed that my love for him during the Games was something of an act. But I don't hold that against him. In the arena, I'd played that romance angle for all it was worth. There had been times when I didn't honestly know how I felt about him. I still don't, really.

"I'm sorry, too," I say. I'm not sure for what exactly. Maybe because there's a real chance I'm about to destroy him.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about. You were just keeping us alive. But I don't want us to go on like this, ignoring each other in real life and falling into the snow every time there's a camera around. So I thought if I stopped being so, you know, wounded, we could take a shot at just being friends," he says.

- Catching Fire, Chapter 4

After this, there's no resentment on Peeta's part towards Katniss for not returning his feelings. Sure it's pretty clear that what he feels for her isn't platonic and he comes off as sad about it at times, but he's completely willing to be her friend and support her anyway. And when Snow makes plans to force them to get married in order to keep up the farce, Peeta is just as upset about it as Katniss is, because he doesn't want her to be forced into something she doesn't want.

"Katniss never wanted Peeta that way and/or has no interest in romance"

It always astounds me that people look at a teenager living in an apocalyptic universe that involves her family possibly starving to death and children being reaped into an event to fight to the death each year and not realize that probably plays a big part in why romance isn't at the top of her priority list lol.

Before the Games, Katniss was the main breadwinner of her family that was living in severe poverty. She was too focused on making sure her little sister and mother didn't starve to death to focus on much else. After she's reaped, her main priority is keeping both herself and Peeta alive. Again, it completely makes sense why romance isn't at the top of her mind.

But there is more than one scene in the books that point out that Katniss DOES grow to desire Peeta romantically.

"No one really need me", he says, and there's no self-pity in his voice. It's true his family doesen't need him. They will mourn him, as will a handful of friends. But they will get on. Even Haymitch, with the help of a lot of white liquor, will get on. I realize only one person will be damaged beyond repair if Peeta dies. Me.

"I do", I say. "I need you." He looks upset, takes a deep breath as if to begin a long argument, and that's no good, no good at all, because he'll start going on about Prim and my mother and everything and I'll just get confused. So before he can talk, I stop his lips with a kiss.

I feel that thing again. The thing I only felt once before. In the cave last year, when I was trying to get Haymitch to send us food. I kissed Peeta about a thousand times during those Games and after. But there was only one kiss that made me feel something stir deep inside. Only one that made me want more. But my head wound started bleeding and he made me lie down.

This time, there is nothing but us to interrupt us. And after a few attempts, Peeta gives up on talking. The sensation inside me grows warmer and spreads out from my chest, down through my body, out along my arms and legs, to the tips of my being. Instead of satisfying me, the kisses have the opposite effect, of making my need greater. I thought I was something of an expert on hunger, but this is an entirely new kind.

- Catching Fire, Chapter 24

This might be the first time Peeta and Katniss kiss without any intention of trying to make a show for the Capitol. And KATNISS initiates it. She kisses Peeta because she wants to. And, on quote, desires more. But sure, she has no interest or attraction to him.

Peeta.

Alive and well - maybe not well but alive and here. Away from Snow. Safe. Here. With me. In a minute I can touch him. See his smile. Hear his laugh.

Haymitch's grinning at me. "Come on, then," he says.

I'm light-headed with giddiness. What will I say? Oh, who cares what I say? Peeta will be ecstatic no matter what I do. He'll probably be kissing me anyway. I wonder if it will feel like those last kisses on the beach in the arena, the ones I haven't dared let myself consider until this moment.

- Mockingjay, Chapter 12

Now other than the fact that this quote absolutely breaks my heart because it happens right before Katniss finds out Peeta was hijacked, it's such a cute one. And a very typical 'teenage girl thinks about the boy she likes' kind of quote. Katniss is literally fantasizing about a romantic reunion between her and Peeta that involves touching him, seeing his smile, hearing his laugh, and kissing him. And after she finds out about his hijacking, the possibility that he might not love her anymore devastates her.

I've always been of the opinion that Katniss fell in love with Peeta during Catching Fire. She cared about him a lot by the end of the first book, but Catching Fire is when the lines between fake love and real love began to really blur for her. And the fandom darling Finnick seems to think that too.

"It's just that I didn't understand when I met you. After your first Games, I thought the whole romance was an act on your part. We all expected you'd continue that strategy. But it wasn't until Peeta hit the force field and nearly died that I - " Finnick hesitates.

I think back to the arena. How I sobbed when Finnick revived Peeta. The quizzical look on Finnick's face. The way he excused my behavior, blaming it on my pretend pregnancy. "That you what?"

"That I knew I'd misjudged you. That you do love him. I'm not saying in what way. Maybe you don't know yourself. But anyone paying attention could see how much you care about him," he says gently.

- Mockingjay, Chapter 11

It's canon that Katniss fell in love with Peeta. However well done it was is up to a person's own opinion but they've been set up as the main romantic subplot since the moment Peeta was revealed as "the boy with the bread". Suzanne Collins had probably been planning on making them endgame since the first book. (I will never understand how people read these books and were shocked that they ended up together).

"Peeta forced Katniss to have children"

Now, i'll be the first to admit that this quote is by far not the best to come out of Katniss and Peeta's relationship.

They play in the Meadow. The dancing girl with the dark hair and blue eyes. The boy with blond curls and gray eyes, struggling to keep up with her on his chubby toddler legs. It took five, ten, fifteen years for me to agree. But Peeta wanted them so badly.

- Mockingjay, Epilogue

I understand why people take issue with this. I really do. But I think immediately jumping to the conclusion that Peeta forced her to have kids is pretty extreme, with how vague the entire epilogue is. Katniss doesn't say that. She only says that it took her a long time to agree. This could mean that he brought up the idea of having children a few times in the beginning only to be rejected, and Katniss changed her mind years later. Or it could also mean that he never said anything about it but Katniss could just tell from other ways how badly he wanted them. With how vague it is, it's up to interpretation. And considering how much Peeta hated the whole thing with Katniss having to pretend to be in love with him, I can't see him trying to force her to have kids that she didn't want. And there IS evidence to point to Katniss getting some joy out of their children as well.

When I first felt her stirring inside of me, I was consumed with a terror that felt as old as life itself. Only the joy of holding her in my arms could tame it.

- Mockingjay, Epilogue

No one has to ship Peeta/Katniss. I was a hardcore shipper back in the day and I still love them, but even I can admit that there are unhealthy aspects in their relationship. The extreme co-dependency and the fact that they both constantly put the other on a pedestal. But man, I wish people would quit bringing up arguments that hold no weight just for the sake of hating on them.

[littlebell-defensesquad]

I Almost Do - Littlebell - For The People x Taylor Swift

Synopsis: In season 2 episode 7, Sandra Bell found herself having to choose between being loyal to her client and doing what is morally right and reporting something that will harm her client but may save someone’s life to the authorities. While her best friend (Allison Adams), trusted boss (Jill Carlan), and the guy the show wants us to ship her with (Ted 2.0) is standing in the next room, debating whether or not to go talk to her, she vanishes, leaving an iconic pack of florescent post-it note flags for Allison to find, who picked it up, and smiled, knowing that Sandra had made her decision and gone to the AUSA office. She went to consult Kate Littlejohn, her most worthy opponent, who she has indirectly admitted as “the best” (in her profession) once to Leonard Knox while in court earlier in the same season. But Allison was wrong and so were we, in that moment. She didn’t go United States Attorney’s office. She went to a park, set against the backdrop of a sparkly New York skyline, and had previously texted (presumably) Kate Littlejohn to meet her there, making sure to bring her a pretzel as a thank you. They have been in three cases together prior to this one. In the first, Kate told Sandra the story about the Capitol, revealing more about her life in one episode to her opponent than she had ever done to everyone else combined in all previous episodes combined. In the second, Sandra told her a story about sneaking into hotel pools with her dad when she was standing, as the two woman leaned on a hotel room balcony, in the middle of a sting operation. In the third, Sandra asked Kate for a favor, to prosecute a sitting judge, a favor Kate agreed to, and a trial she wins. (I would like it to be noted that Kate has hugged one person in this entire show and it’s Sandra after That Trial.) Right from the beginning, the two women are set up in a duality. Messy and organized. Idealistic and pragmatic. Defense and Prosecution. But rather than moving away from the other, they went the opposite way, getting closer and closer the more they fought to the death in courtrooms, in a slowly unraveling but undeniable revelation that they are far more alike than they are different. So, what happens when they collide again?

On her way back to the office after going to the store with Sandra so she could buy Clue, the receipt still in her hands, the blonde prosecutor sighs. That conversation took so much out of her. It was a honor to be trusted by the fiery public defender, her most worthy opponent, a legal genius undeterred by her raging emotions, but God it was exhausting. Knowing what to say was easy, sitting with Sandra in a park after sunset as the New York City lights twinkled in the towering skyline was something close to magic and an absolute breath of fresh air so different from the monochrome boxes of her office and the imposing grandiose of the Southern District Court of New York. What was difficult was imagining what Sandra was going through. It was worse than when Roger Gunn gave her that case she didn’t agree with but she would have taken anyway. It was worse by infinite degrees. This was not about doing one’s job. It was about one’s very moral compass, the philosophical foundation of who Sandra is. Kate would not want to be her right now under any circumstance.

She knew that the news finally reached her office when Leonard walked in and asked, “How did you convince her?”

She answered honestly. “I didn’t.” After a moment of hesitation, she elaborated, “We just ate a pretzel.” She could sense Leonard’s internal confusion. It made no sense out of context, but she wasn’t going to offer any. That was personal, private. It’s between her and Sandra, the same way the Capitol building is, the same way the DC story is, the same way hotel room balconies and taking an one-hour break is.

So, when she sat down with Leonard to build a lego, she was relieved when he didn’t choose the Capitol building. She almost didn’t offer it, but dishonesty is not one of her infinite talents.

They sat, building the tower, sunlight inevitably reflecting on its windows halfway across the world in Shanghai. As long as it wasn’t raining, of course. But regardless, it’s morning somewhere.

The entire time, her focus flickered away from the project, unlike normally when her concentration was so focused it was difficult to break her attention away from the little plastic pieces in her hands. It didn’t shift to Leonard, radiating warmth and comfort from behind her, working in sync with her to raise the ceiling of the towering skyscraper. She liked him, she even liked-liked him, but he wasn’t a distraction to her. She was almost unable to be distracted by romance, not when she was a teenager, and not even now.

No, she wasn’t thinking about Anya either, even though she is the exact same height Sandra would be if Sandra didn’t wear heels every day of her work life. (Kate would know. She did the math right after Sandra hugged her that first time and shockingly fitted perfectly into her shoulders. There was no way the fiery ball of golden brown hair was that tall.)

Although, maybe she should be thinking about Anya, more than she is. It’s not that she didn’t think about the ATF agent, or that she isn’t heartbroken over their breakup. It’s just that it wasn’t meant to be, and it hurt less because of the fact. Anya always liked her more. No matter how attracted Kate was to Anya, or how nice it was to wake up next to her every morning, or how how good of a kisser she was, it wasn’t right. It couldn’t be right. Anya would always love her more, and Anya deserved better than that. That’s not real love. It’s a chess game. They both deserved better.

And Leonard didn’t help. Leonard leaving made her realize that her heart wasn’t ready for, or deserving of, Anya. And she couldn’t be in a relationship with someone if her heart was that torn about someone else.

Not that that became anything. Leonard chose Texas. He would always choose Texas. She would always be his second choice. And Kate Littlejohn will not be anyone’s second choice.

No, Leonard isn’t right either. He is barely principled and only conveniently so. He is changing, and learning, and becoming more self-reflective and aware, but he is light years away. He would always do things that not only toe but bulldozer over the line, fall off the moral high ground, break the code of ethics. That’s not a person Kate could ever be in a relationship with, even if he is frustratingly attractive and clearly likes her and their chemistry is off the charts.

She could be his friend, his colleague, but not his girlfriend. Not until he gets to a place where he can be with her and not break apart when her light reflects on his every crack. Someday, he will find someone. Someday, he will find himself. But not today. And she isn’t that someone. Not today.

After Leonard leaves, Kate finds herself holding her phone in her hands, looking at it intensely, before deciding to put it down.

Do not be emotional, Kate Littlejohn. She thinks to herself. Do not let your emotions govern you. Do not act upon impulse. And no, Sandra doesn’t want to hear from you right now. You are the last person that she would want to speak to after she betrayed her client and still didn’t save a life. Because you knowingly told her she was allowed to be herself, allowed to follow her own intuitions of right and wrong, allowed to stop being the professional attorney she is one-hundred percent of the time.

Somewhere across the street, Sandra was on her office couch, in tears. Allison gave her a gentle rub, a gesture of comfort. In the doorway, before she left, she looked back and said, “I love you, Sandy. I’ll be home.” That helped. She needed that reminder that her best friend still loved her, supported her, and would be waiting for her when she is finally ready to leave her office. But she needed more. She needed different. She wanted someone else to analyze every move she made and her motives why, convince her through reason that she did the right thing when her every emotion and worst crippling fear was saying otherwise. She wished people would stop telling her that she did the right thing and start telling her that they know why she feels like she made the worst mistake of her career, and the second worst mistake of her life.

It’s not going to be Allison. And certainly not Ted. Maybe Jill will. Maybe. But even that’s unlikely. In such a moment of vulnerability, her boss wouldn’t say something to risk hurting her favorite employee, sending her deeper into her spiral.

She wished Kate would tell her exactly what she was feeling. She thought about calling her but stopped herself before she even reached out for her phone. Kate has no room for her loss. She knows Kate Littlejohn well enough to know she wouldn’t ever celebrate this victory, or any victory for that matter, with very few exceptions. But still, it is a victory for the prosecution. There is no air for Sandra’s despair. Not today. Not now.

Back in the AUSA’s office, it took everything in Kate not to call Sandra, and every time she doesn’t, she almost does.

[ellanainthetardis]

HI There :D, i have a prompt: Katniss is wearing something really sexy and and haymitch goes all dad on like "your not going out like that" something like that

Here you go [x]

The Little Black Dress

“You look lovely, Katniss.”Effie assured for the third time, watching the girl restlessly move from onecorner of hers and Haymitch’s kitchen to the next. The mug of tea Effie hadpoured her had been forgotten on the counter in all the pacing the young womanwas doing – either trying to get used to the heels she had on or out of genuinenerves – but Effie was cradling hers between her hands, not bothering to hideher amusement. “He will love it.”

Katniss finally stopped digginga hole in her kitchen to lean her back against the counter, sulking. “It’sreally not me.”

That, Effie couldn’treally dispute. The black dress Katniss had borrowed from her was short andshowed some cleavage. Effie had braided her beautiful hair in a fancy hairdoand she had also done her make-up – not enough to send the girl screaming, shehad been very careful to keep the whole thing discreet. In her opinion, hervictor looked perfect. She wasn’tentirely sure about the black heels with the golden buckle but Katniss had seenthem and had wanted them and it was such a rare thing for the girl to beenthusiastic about shoes – and forgood reasons given that she only wore boots – that Effie had entrusted them toher without a second thought.

“It is a date, is it not?” shehummed, distractedly flicking the page of her magazine and bringing the mug oftea to her lips. “You are supposed todress up. It is part of the fun.”

“We’ve never been on a date.”Katniss sighed, playing with the golden bangles around her wrist – that toocame from Effie’s wardrobe. “It’s stupid. We’ve been living together for sixmonths. We don’t need…”

“Darling.” she interruptedfirmly. “If I may give you a piece of advice… Keeping the romance alive is never a bad thing. Peeta will come pickyou up…” Hopefully before the girldrove her crazy with her restlessness… “He will be wearing a nice suit and hewill probably have something sweet like flowers… He will take you out to Sae’snew restaurant and it will be a fun night. Romantic. Nothing to be nervous about.”

“I’m bad at romance.” Katnissconfessed with a defeated wince.

“Oh, trust me, once he sees youin that dress, you will not have to do much else.” she grinned.

The girl timidly answered hersmile, smoothing the silky fabric of the dress. Effie wished she would stopdoing that because her clammy hands would leave stains but she held her tongue.Katniss was out of her comfort zone. She had accepted the date idea to pleasePeeta and had immediately come running to her in a complete panic over what towear, what she was supposed to do and how best not to ruin a night the boy had clearly put some thoughts into. Itwasn’t often Katniss came to her foradvice so Effie had done her best.

“Even with the scars, right?”Katniss asked suddenly. “I mean… He doesn’t mind the scars. But they show a lotwith this dress…”

The burned patches of skin were noticeable but Effie was so used tothem, and to Katniss not giving them any thought, that she barely paid them anyattention.  

“You look lovely.” she repeated firmly. “In fact, you should keep the dressafterwards.”

“Oh, no.” Katniss frowned. “It’syours and I probably won’t wear it again in a long time so…”

“Keep the dress, dear.” sheinterrupted cheerfully. “It suits you more than it does me.”

And the back was too low anyway.Her own scars would show and she wasn’t as comfortable with them as Katniss waswith hers.

“Okay.” the girl shrugged, alittle puzzled but dismissing it as one of her Capitol quirks, no doubt.“Thanks.”

“You are very welcome.” Effiepromised, bringing her mug to her mouth. The tea was tepid now but she finishedit all the same, unwilling to get a lecture from Haymitch about wastingresources. She skimmed through an article about the new fashionable fabric inher magazine, trying not to mind that the girl was still fidgeting.

“Effie?” Her victor cleared herthroat with obvious embarrassment so she looked up at her, eyebrows lifted in asilent question that she hoped didn’t carry her slight irritation at beingconstantly interrupted. Katniss wasn’t looking at her, she was still fidgetingnervously, a little red in the face, twisting her bangles this way and that… “Iwasn’t snooping but earlier when we were looking for stuff in your room…”

The girl stopped at that andEffie pursed her lips a little. It wasn’t a great start to a conversation… I wasn’t snooping. But she had told her to look around her wardrobeand pick out whatever struck her fancy so… What could have Katniss foundanyway? She hadn’t been looking through her nightstand drawer, that much shewas certain of, and that was where she kept the things she really didn’t want anyoneto find. Well, she supposed Haymitch knew the sex toys were there but he hadnever really addressed the subject, the same she tactfully pretended not toknow about the magazines hidden at the bottom of his wardrobe.

Katniss shifted her weight fromone foot to the next. “The drawer full of weird underwear…”

“Oh, my lingerie drawer!” sheexclaimed, almost with relief. Lingerie, she was happy to discuss. “Did youwant to borrow some as well?” She wrinkled her nose. “I won’t lie I do not likelending lingerie, it is a bit… intimate. But I would be happy to help you ordersome, if you wish.”

There were no lingerie shop inTwelve yet and it was a crime in her opinion.

“I don’t know.” Katnisshesitated. “It looked weird.”

She lifted an offended eyebrow.“Weird?”

“Not comfortable.” the girlexplicated.

“Well… Some pieces are notreally. That is not exactly the point.” she admitted. “But some are actuallyreally comfortable.”

She loved wearing prettylingerie. She didn’t know how the girl could be content with the plain cottonpanties and bras you found in Twelve. Effie loved her colorful lacy underwear,it made her feel sexy even when nobody was supposed to see it. It made her feelpowerful.

“And a lot of it issee-through.” Katniss insisted, relaxing a little, probably because Effie wasso at ease with talking about that sort of things. She didn’t understand thestupid taboo some District people seemed to have about sex and all things related.

“A personal preference.” shedismissed. “You can find adorablepieces that are not if you are more comfortable this way. I have the latestissue of Capitol Lingerie somewhere…”

Although she might have to ask Haymitch where he hadput it – and not just because of the half-naked women in it, she was sure therewould be some dog-eared pages hinting at what kind of stuff he would like tosee on her.

“Boys like that?” the girlasked, turning red again. “See-through stuff?”

Effie didn’t even blink. “Oh, yes.”

Katniss bit down on her bottomlip, clearly hesitant but also a bit interested. “Maybe I will take a look.”

“I will find that magazine foryou.” she promised.

The front door slammed shut andEffie rolled her eyes at Haymitch’s inability to close a door properly.

“Are you done playing dress-up?”he grumbled as he came into the kitchen only to do a double take when he sawKatniss. He grew red in the face – even redder than Katniss had gone whiletalking about lingerie. “Hell, no. What the fuck? You ain’t going out wearing this… this…”

“Dress?” Effie suggested when itwas clear he would do nothing but sputter.

Katniss’ face had close withunderstandable anger. “Effie says Ilook pretty.”

“You don’t look pretty.” Haymitch snapped. “You look… You look…”

“Attractive.” Effie finishedtactfully again and was treated to a glare. “She is a woman now, Haymitch. It should not come as such a surprise to you.”

“That’s any reason to dress herup like you?” he growled. “The fuckwere you thinking? She’s not…”

She glared at him, slowlystanding up to plant her hands on her hips. “What does that mean dress her up like me? And I suggest youthink long and hard before youanswer…”

“You know.” he accused.

“I most definitely do not.” she hissed.

He opened and closed his mouth afew times, anger and frustration battling in his eyes. A little over a yearago, he wouldn’t have hesitated twice before tossing words at her head butthings were different now and there was a line in the sand he knew better thanto cross if he didn’t want to end up spending the night alone.

“She’s a baby!” he exploded eventually. “You can’t dress her up like that!” He turned to Katniss. “You ain’t going out like that. Hear me,girl?”

“I will wear whatever the hell I want to wear!” Katnissretorted, clearly furious. “Even see-through lingerie!”

Effie’s anger turned to worrywhen Haymitch started coughing hard, all whizzing breath and teary eyes. Shewinced. “That might have been information better left between you and me.”

“This is your fault.” Haymitch hissed, glaring at Effie.

“My apologies but I do believeit is your own fault for thinking of her as a baby.” she scoffed. “She is eighteen…”

“Barely.” he spat.

“And she is already living with a boy with whom she is in a steadyrelationship with.” Effie continued as if she hadn’t been interrupted. “Do Ineed to tell you what I was up to ateighteen?”

“That was you.” he growled.

“Very well.” she huffed. “Whatwere you up to?”

One-night-stand afterone-night-stand, that was what he had been up to and she knew that perfectlywell.

“That was me.” he scowled. “Seriously, Effie, look at her. She looks likeshe’s ready to…”

She planted a hand over hismouth before he could say words he would definitelyregret. He glared at her but was wise enough not to try and finish thatsentence.

“She looks like a lovely young woman going out on a datewith her boyfriend.” she declared firmly. “She looks perfectly decent and thatoverprotective fatherly act you are pulling is much less cute than you think it is, so you are going to apologize to her and tell her she looks beautiful.”

“She doesn’t look beautiful.” hegrumbled against her hand. “You know how she looks.”

Effie rolled her eyes anddropped her arm, turning to Katniss. “If you needed any proof Peeta is going tolove your outfit, this is it. Congratulations, you are so stunning Haymitch isuncomfortable.”

“Haymitch’s an ass.” Katnissmuttered, arms crossed in front of her chest.

“Language.” She clucked her tongue. “He has just realized you are agrown-up attractive woman now. It will pass, I assure you.”

The expression on Haymitch’sface was stuck between a sulk and a scowl. He dropped on the chair Effie hadvacated and refused to look at either of them.

It was probably lucky that thebackdoor opened at that moment and Peeta walked in, carrying a bunch of dandelions– which wasn’t the most romantic flowers in Effie’s book but it must have beena private thing between the children because Katniss beamed as if he hadoffered her an armful of roses. The look on the boy’s face when he saw thegirl… It was priceless…

Effie quietly walked behindHaymitch’s chair and loosely wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He wasglaring at the table and stubbornly refusing to look up at what was going on.

“You look… Wow…” Peetastammered. “You’re… Wow…”

“See?” Effie whispered in Haymitch’sear. “This is how it is done.”

Katniss chuckled, a pleased pinkglow on her cheeks, and soon the two of them were off into the night, leavingher to deal with a very grumpyHaymitch.

“You didn’t have to dress her uplike that.” he insisted.

“You never had any objection tome wearing that dress.” she pointed out.

“It’s you.” he shrugged.

“Meaning?” she huffed.

“Meaning you’re sexy. That’s whoyou are. That’s fine with me.” he muttered. “Katniss…”

“Katniss is not a baby anymore, darling.” she sighed, briefly tightening herembrace to plant a kiss on his cheek. “Let it go.”

“It’s all your fault.” hepersisted.

She rolled her eyes andstraightened up, gathering her mostly empty mug and Katniss’ untouched one toplace them in the sink.

“So.” she said firmly, desperateto change the topic. “What shall we do with ournight?”

“If it were you and me we’dnever have made it to the restaurant.” he spat. “I’d have had you against thewall of the house.”

He actually blanched at that andglanced at the window over the sink. Effie quickly drew the curtains close.Just in case.

“Yes, but, unlike you, Peeta isa gentleman.” she retorted. “Now…” He was looking a bit green and she rolledher eyes. “Stop thinking about it!”

He rubbed his face and then glaredat her. “Why that dress, Effie?”

“Because she liked it and Icannot even remember the last time I wore it.” she dismissed. She didn’t wear alot of black and that one she was pretty sure she had bought for awear-black-only party.

“Yeah?” he scoffed. “I do. The study at that asshole’smansion? The desk? Rings any bell?”

And now that he was saying it…

“Oh.” she said. “Oh. Well. I can hardly be blamed forforgetting all the times we had fun at parties over the years, Haymitch.”

“Didn’t think that dress hadsurvived the night.” he mumbled. “And now she’s on my girl’s back. I’ve done things to you in that dress, Effie. Unspeakable things.”

“They were not that unspeakable.” she mocked.

“That’s ‘cause you don’tremember them clearly.” he snorted.

“There is a desk in the study…”she hummed. “You could potentiallyrefresh my memories…”

Thatwoulddistract him, she thought.

And it did.    

[fellvasile-blog]

TTWTASK 07: CHARACTER Q&A

What influence has your character’s parent/parents/guardian had on them? Fell remembers a little bit about his parents when they were alive. His mother was a gentle yet stern woman, the twins knew better than to do anything behind her back. Their father was just as kind, perhaps a bit more lenient toward the kids than their mother had been. Fell does miss them, but he doesn’t openly admit it.

Was your character overprotected as a child, or were they left to fend for themselves? Fell was very much left to fend for himself. Not that it was a bad thing; he learned right off the bat to fend for himself and be more independent.

Are they affectionate? No. If he manages to get close with someone, he very well could be.

What makes them laugh? Not a lot. He has to like the person a lot to get him to crack a smile.

Is your character street-smart or book-smart? (Or both, or neither). Fell is very street smart. He’s resourceful, able to think fast when it counts.

How do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated? Fell sees himself as smart; he’s not all brawn. 

What would they consider their most defining characteristic? Their strength, both physical and emotional.

What is/was their favourite subject in school? Anything he learned in The Academy

What are their manners like? What manners?

What are their hobbies? Fell likes to keep himself in shape and keep training. He also has recently taken up drawing again, which he is very good at.

Who is their best friend? He doesn’t have many friends outside of the District Two Mentors. 

Describe their ideal romantic partner. Romance isn’t really something on Fell’s mind. But if someone did manage to win him over romantically, they would have to be smart, strong, outgoing, and patient with him. It’ll take a lot for Fell to open up to someone.

If they could, would your character want to travel? Where would they go? He would love to travel. He would like to see what else is out there aside from Panem. 

How long does it take them to get ready in the morning? Not long at all.

Does your character want children? If they already have children, would they want to have more children? Why or why not? Nope. Fell has zero interest in having kids of his own.

How does your character react to stressful situations? Fell does what he can to handle stressful situations quickly. If it’s out of his hands, either he shrugs it off and moves on, or it can really get to him, depending on the situation and what’s at stake. 

Does your character have a big imagination? Or are they more down-to-earth? Very much down-to-earth.

How is their sense of humor? Do they have one? Believe it or not, Fell’s got a sense of humor. It only makes an appearance around people he likes to spend time with.

What does your character want most in life right now? To be left alone. To help his Tributes win The Games.

Does your character have any secrets? If so, are they holding them back? Fell still has nightmares from his Games. Most recently, he has nightmares about Fiona’s death in last year’s Games. Sometimes when he’s deep in thought, he’ll hear her voice responding to his own thoughts, as though she were haunting him. And perhaps she is.

Do they think first and act later? Or act first and think later? Depends on the situation. Usually he will act first and think later, though.

How tall is your character? How do they feel about their height? 6′0″. He doesn’t think much of his height.

Have they ever wanted to be invisible? Especially when The Capitol or anyone is getting on his nerves.

What superpower would they want to have? To disappear.

If they had to live in a District other than their own, which would it be? Four or Seven.

[scoutdanielsd6-blog]

1.       What are your character’s nicknames, if any?

kae-rae is her absolutely favorite. She had another kaelin in elementary school, went by kaelin Rae, and it shortened to Kae-Rae and stuck. Literally nobody outside of the games calls her kaelin, and even in the games she wishes they would call her by her first and second name, or even just the shortened version. Maybe she'll ask next year, when people know her a little better.

2.       Do they have any bad habits? she has the habit of losing her cool completely. If she sees someone hot, she blushing and giggling. If she is nervous, she'll freeze up.  Its not uncommon for her to lose her cool. Presentations are the WORST in school. Capitol everything.

3.       Do they have any tattoos? If not, would they want one? no, but oh my gosh lavender has this really cute implanted diamonds into the skin around her eyes tattoo and if her parents would JUST LET HER kaelin is fairly certain she would look amazing with those.

4.       Do they have any scars? How did they get them? tiny pinprick on her finger, from a needle when she was learning to use one. Other than that, no.

5.       How do they dress most of the time? kaelin is that girl in school who just looks so put together all the time. Matching outfits, cute patterned headscarf and a seemingly rotating outfit through the season. At school or working, hair up. At casual times and parties, hair down, with cute accessories. She rotates between blouses and skirts and dresses in the warmer months, and it never really gets too cold in the capitol but she's always fashion forward, put together, and in perfectly matched outfits. Its unsurprising to find her in school trying out a skirt she made.

6.       What words or phrases do they use frequently?

·        oh. My. GOSH!

·        Totally

·        No lie

These are dialed back when she's not with people she feels more comfortable around, but they're still in her thought processes.

7.       If anyone, who do they trust to protect them? *sigh* a knight in shining armor.

That wasn’t really a joke, by the way. Kaelin is a hopeless romantic at heart and she just loves the idea of being swept off her feet one day and falling deeply in love. Like those star crossed lovers from 12 in the seventy fourth, or the countless other love stories in the games and between the victors (Glitter and Wiress anyone???)

In all sincerity, Kae-Rae has never needed to be protected.

8.       Are they argumentative or do they avoid conflict?

Avoid, avoid, avoid. Kae-Rae doesn’t want to get on anyone's bad side. She doesn’t like it when people don’t like her. If she feels an argument brewing she will back off from the topic and apologize (losing her cool and probaby stuttering through this process) until eventually the conversation is over or back on stable ground. If it's between two people she doesn’t know, walk away. QUICKLY. If it's between one or more people she does know? Divert their attention to something else. "hey, you wanna see my sketchbook?". It never works, of course, and she ends up walking away again.

9.       Did they have any role models growing up other than their parents?

YES. There was this one stylist that Kaelin just loved as a kid. She worked on the hunger games, with district 8, for years, until moving on to make her own clothes line (kae-rae unapologetically rocks a fashion Forward skirt on occasion even though its out of style now) it's what got kaelin into fashion, and then encouraged her to apply to be a stylist. Of course, their styles were different, but they were both blonde girls and as a 5 yr old who spent hours picking out outfits, it was enough for kae-rae to identify with.

10.   When was the time when they were the most frightened? there was a spider on her bed.

To clarify, it was the size of her head.

To clarify, her brother put it there

To clarify, it was plastic and couldn’t pass for real under a rug.

That didn’t mean 12 yr old kaelin didn’t scream like a baby.

11.   When was the time when they were the happiest?

The day she finally, after a year of applications, got the note that she would be an actual real live hunger games stylist. It was the first time she'd spent so long on something, put a bunch of effort into it. It was her dream, and it was the best day of her life.

12.   What is their most embarrassing moment?

Maybe the spider. Or maybe the time she snorted chocolate milk out in seventh grade of her nose at lunch. Or maybe her first presentation at school, where she stood in front of the class reciting the first line of her report over and over again for five minutes before being asked to sit down by the kind teacher. She hadnt even realized she was doing it, simply saying "Hi, My name is kaelin Rae and I'll be talking to you about…" over and over again. She never got to what she was supposed to be talking about, and was blushing to her toes by the end.

13.   Are they optimistic or pessimistic?

Optimism!! Everything is sunshine, rainbows, and friendship in Kae's world!

14.   What is their most treasured possession?

a signed picture of her favorite stylist, her acceptance letter to be a stylist, or her mother's necklace that was passed down through the family for years since the dark days. It’s a rusty old locket that doesn’t even open anymore, and Kae-Rae never wears it, but her mother said that the things inside connected them always. Through blood.

15.   How do they spend a typical Saturday night?

Parties, shopping, spending time at the mall, living it up. Or, if she's had a stroke of inspiration, turning off her phone to ignore her friend's texts as THEY do those things and she designs a new dress because "more ruffles!"

16.   What song would you use to describe them?

Gold by britt nicole.

17.   Are they introverted or extroverted?

Extroverted, but, upon being shot down, can become introverted very quickly. She wants to be everyone's friend. She's like a puppy, honestly. If you yell at her and outright say you don’t want her she'll get it, but if you're just dodging her she'll keep coming up, loving on you, and being friendly.

18.   Are they organized or messy?

Organized creative, which sounds like an alignment but honestly means she's set up in life in an organized manner but in one that makes it easy to jump sporadically from one idea or project to the next, stopping halfway though and picking It up later.

19.   What do they like about themselves?

She loves her family, her friends and ability to make them, her kindness, what she considers her talent, and the fact that she is good enough to be there. She likes her hair as well, and her creative designs. Eyes aren't bad.

20.   How do they relax? kae relaxes by chilling, alone or with just a friend or two, with a cup of cocoa and a comfy blanket. Maybe she's doodling or sketching, maybe not

21.   What is their ideal date? AHHHH ROMANCE! Kae-rae would actually really like to try ice skating. But basically, if it's ever been in a rom com, Kaelin is SO DOWN.

22.   Do they want children? Why or why not? maybe, probably, yes. But not atm.

23.   Where do they see themselves in five years? a popular stylist, hopefully. She'd be living on her own, in a nice studio apartment or something. Probably with a fish (because oh my gosh did you hear Caesar has a fish oh my GOSH that’s such a cute animal!!!)

24.   What would be their three wishes if they found a genie’s lamp?

·        For arista or Kathryn to win

·        For a long and happy life

·        To find love

25.   Describe your character sitting in their favorite spot.

Sitting on the edge of her bed is one of her favorite places to sit. Her desk hangs over the edge of her bed, and Kae loves it.she'll sit there for hours, listening to music, kitten sitting next to her, and doodling. Her plush pink comforter is so soft and she could stay there forever