#would it just be another hobby i pick up from my adhd?

[twobirdsflytogether]

The desire to learn sewing/stitching.

For the singular purpose of "theres not enough magpie plushies in the world"

[gougarfem]

how was the process of getting a dumbphone!

oh my god this is something i'm so excited to talk about, sorry it took me so many months to respond!

getting a dumbphone improved my quality of life so so much. i knew my screentime was high, but didn't realise it was a genuine psychological addiction until i quit. the first few days were extremely rough. time seemed to pass about ten times slower, and i was forced to fill the hours with various hobbies and activities. i know we all love to tell people to touch grass, but i really did have to connect with nature and it did wonders for my mental health.

i think for the first three days i was constantly restless and horribly irritable, looked around for my phone every few minutes, felt intense boredom and even cried a few times lol. your addiction may not be as extreme as mine was and this varies from person to person. however, after about a week i realised i remembered everything i'd done each day, because it was filled with intentional activities and little moments of peace rather than a blur of scrolling. i also wasn't on adhd meds yet, which is something i'll talk about in another post.

not having everything at your fingertips is uncomfortable, but (and it's a cliche) you really start to appreciate the world around you more. i looked forward to spending time with my family, because it filled time and i wasn't half-involved in my phone the entire time. i use an mp3 player to listen to music, and uploading music to it is a meaningful and interesting activity, rather than just shuffling a playlist. i listen to whole albums instead of being flooded with dopamine from spotify firing recommended songs at me. i appreciate music more, i make CDs for friends, i have to be intentional in discovering new artists and music. if i'm having an interesting conversation online, i look forward to going home and logging onto my laptop to continue it. i don't spend my commute, time in class, or time with friends texting somebody else. everything feels more intentional, spaced out, and interesting, even the things i do online.

i also found i stopped performing in every activity i did. i stopped thinking about whether i could post it to instagram or instantly send a picture in a discord server. i started picking up new hobbies for myself, not for an online audience, and living in the moment more. this is really important in the modern age, although again uncomfortable.

the best part was how my connections with others increased through having a dumbphone. i started calling friends rather than messaging on five platforms at once, and they started reciprocating. my message threads are continuous, coherent conversations, rather than sending memes. people realised they have to intentionally reach out to me, and i lost relationships with people who weren't interested in that, but strengthened connections with people who did put in the effort (many of whom i barely talked to in the past). i give people my phone number, not my social media handle, and they actually start conversations with me rather than hitting follow. i get to hear my friends' voices when they have drama to share and realise it takes me forever to type on my flip phone keyboard. again, everything is intentional, takes time, and richer than when i had a smartphone.

i genuinely would recommend it to absolutely everyone (i've kind of become like a crossfit guy in telling people to get a dumbphone lol). i won't pretend it's easy, and most people make excuses - for the first few months of having a dumbphone, i was bedbound or in hospital, and truly relied on online connections to pass time and communicate. it still hugely improved my life. however, no matter your situation there are always, always better options than scrolling an app, and you deserve to pass your time in a memorable way. i think most people don't realise they're addicted/reliant on smartphones, and the idea of quitting is horribly uncomfortable, but at least for me, the benefits were worth it.

i'm happy to answer any questions, i literally could talk about this topic for hours (even if it's stuff like "how would i use x app" "how would i replace x smartphone function").

ditch your smartphone babe, u deserve better <33

[imshymorph]

HI LOVE!!!! 🥺

if ur taking requests, could you pls do husband!Price with a reader who has ADHD? I myself have ADHD and am extremely forgetful, and tend to feel emotions more intensely than others, which means I cry a lot and get told I’m over sensitive haha 🥺❤️❤️😭

Hi darling! My requests are open, I'm just loaded up with uni work. So sorry it took over a week for me to answer. (But if you don’t mind the wait, 100% send in requests!!). I hope I portrayed it properly, I kind of fall in the adhd spectrum myself but it can really vary from one person to another, so I hope it's relatable!

Anyway, here’s some soft!Price with ADHD!reader

I think he’d notice pretty early on, maybe not specifically labelling it as ADHD, but he’d pick up on the forgetfulness and how quick it could change to a hyperfixation. I think he’s observant enough that he’d kind of be able to pinpoint the moment in your thought process where you jump from the thing you just said you were going to do to whatever other task popped in your mind that pulls you away from it.- - - - -

He would grow used to it pretty quickly, used to sharing space with all kinds of people at base and adapting himself to better work with them. I also lowkey headcanon that Soap has ADHD so he’d already have an idea on how to work around it and some strategies in place to help you with it. 

Although I think his main worry would be supporting you with the emotional side that comes with it. He’d be there for you at any time. It doesn’t matter what it is, he’ll dry your tears and talk with you about it. If you don’t want to talk or maybe it’s one of those days where you don’t even know why you’re crying, then he’ll just hold you close for a bit and help you get distracted when you feel better. 

I think that even if he doesn’t fully understand it, he can get a grasp on how overwhelming it can get. He’d notice when you’re starting to get frustrated, when your brain just can’t find something that releases enough oxytocin to keep you entertained for long enough. He’d swipe in then, bringing up one of your special interests or one of the hobbies you gave up on a few months back, to see if it sparks some joy again. If it doesn’t he’ll find something new that you both can try together or somewhere to go and explore. 

And don’t  you dare apologise for any of it, he’d give you a full on scolding on how it’s not something to apologise for. (That’s who you are and who he loves, darling). He doesn’t care that you forgot to close the kitchen cupboard for the fifth time this week, nor that the clean dishes still sit on the dishwasher, nor the pile of folded clothes that still sit on top of the dresser. He’s happy to have you with him, to share space with you and he’d take a messy living room and arrive late to your reservations on date night every single time if it means he’s with you. 

Also, he’d absolutely change things around the house and in his schedule if it means it makes things easier for you. He’ll change the organisation in all drawers and cupboards that need it so it’ll be easier for you to remember to put everything in its place. He’ll sit with you while you do work or chores, having casual conversation to keep you entertained and focused while you finish. Will sit there for hours if he has to, listening to you infodump about whatever thing your brain has last fixated on. And hold you for as long as you need when your emotions get too much and make you cry, one warm hand on your hip to hold you close while the other rubs your back. 

And relating to the crying. Poor soul, the one who dares to call you oversensitive in his presence. He’d absolutely rip them a new one, ready to start a physical fight if it is necessary because (how dare you judge his love for something out of their control). As soon as he’s satisfied with the scolding the other person got, his full attention is back on you. 

He’d pull you close, cup your cheeks and gently dry your tears with his thumbs. A small smile appearing on his lips, “don’t listen to them, love. You’re perfect just like this.” He presses a kiss to your forehead and lightly pinches your cheeks to get a smile from you. “Come on, let’s go home so you can tell me more about those books you have been reading.”

And the way your small pout and teary eyes change to a smile makes his heart soar. He throws an arm over your shoulders and holds you close as the both of you walk home, happily listening about the character arch of one of the main characters you tell him about. He’s already planning on wrapping you up on your favourite blanket on the couch while he gets ready some of your comfort food, how you’ll eat it together while you cuddle and watch one of your favourite shows or movies. 

[athetos]

I’ve been thinking a lot about the expectations placed on butch lesbians both inside and outside of the queer community. As soon as I was able to dress myself and pick out my own wardrobe I started presenting masculinely, and while I wasn’t aware of it at the time, I felt a lot of pressure to be “exemplary” as compensation for my lack of gender conformity. I felt the need to prove myself to others, namely gender conforming straight cis people, and pushed myself to excel in school, at my hobbies, and be an all-around “likable” person. As though to make up for my shortcoming of being butch. When my grades inevitably slipped in high school, thanks to a combination of undiagnosed adhd and stress, it almost felt like I lost my identity, my one “redeeming” factor. I became a chronic people pleaser, because I felt if people liked me, they could see past my “flaws.” This is still something that I struggle with today, perhaps even more so now that I openly identify as butch, and feel like I’m representing my community. Some of the worst judgement I’ve faced hasn’t been from loud and proud homophobes, but from the subset of gender conforming cishet women who see me as a threat.

Within the greater queer community, butches are expected to be chivalrous, capable, hardworking, brave, good in bed, strong, and protective. We are assumed to be dominant tops. If you have a problem, a butch is expected to fix it. I embody some of these traits, and am proud of them. Others, not so much. As a submissive bottom, I have to constantly shut down people who expect me to be their aggressive top. The thing is, butches are expected to handle any and everything that comes our way, which is oftentimes far more than we can handle. Would I defend my siblings if it came down to it? Yes, to my last breath. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? The butch martyr. A commonly used fiction trope in queer media, and a common occurrence in real life. I definitely don’t think it’s a bad trope in fiction (my favorite novels all fall into this at some point or another), but it echoes how we are perceived in real life. The expectation that, perhaps, butches have to suffer.

And I resonate with that, which might not be a healthy thing. Hell, the title of my blog at the time of this post is “your local butch Paladin.” But I don’t want to be hard, uncompromising, and brave all of the time. I want to be soft and warm, too. Sometimes, I’m the one who needs protection. We all do. I fear that sometimes butches aren’t respected as people. Sometimes, it feels like we’re just seen as sex objects, or guardians that can carry any burden. I’m not interested in being a full-time caretaker, or the sole rock in a relationship. I want to be taken care of, too.

At the same time that I embrace the expectations placed on me as a butch, I also reject them.

I’m just rambling; I’m not really sure if I have anything original to say. This has definitely all been said before, by writers far more eloquent than me. I just hope you all think about how you treat butches, and question why that is.

[maximumzombiecreator]

For the first decade of my adult life, I had undiagnosed ADHD and also uncracked egg. As a result, any time I got really settled into a place and a lifestyle, my mental health fell apart, so I developed a coping mechanism of massively shaking my life up once every 6-12 months. Moving, changing jobs, changing my body and lifestyle, my hobbies, my friend groups, whatever. Just something big and disruptive, frequently enough that I never got so comfortable that I began to rot. That much chaos kept my ADHD brain from getting too bored and my trans brain from pausing long enough to wonder what the constant, deep-seated unhappiness that followed me everywhere was.

This isn't a really great coping mechanism, I don't recommend it. If you're in that position, I would recommend lisdexamfetamine and estradiol rather than picking up a 15 hour per week gym habit or moving to another continent where you don't know anyone and barely speak the local language.

But one positive thing that it did for me was to teach me to appreciate a lot of emotional experiences that were otherwise negative. Being uncomfortable, being confused, unsure, even feeling unsafe were all signs that I had pushed myself far enough. At least for a little while. Each of those emotions kinda sucks on their own, but they were often the first sign of an experience that was going to be important. Not always pleasant, mind you, but discomfort and unease were often the first sensations on the way to growth.

It also gave me the chance to learn how to differentiate different negative emotions, to parse feeling unsafe apart from being unsafe, being confused from being helpless, being uncomfortable from being harmed. Not perfectly, of course, but enough to be able to sit with those feelings and really examine if they were a problem to be dealt with or just a "me" problem that would go away as I learned and got familiar.

I feel like that's an important skillset that it's very easy to not develop. I often see people who react so strongly to being made to feel uncomfortable, who immediately treat the feeling (and as a result, the person or situation that made them feel that way) as a problem to be dealt with. Doubly so to feeling unsafe, and it's incredibly easy to find examples of people weaponizing their feelings of unsafety to harm others. These are understandable, even natural reactions, but they are also, often, the wrong reaction.

And I think if you don't get used to those emotions, then you can't learn to tell when it's a "you" problem, and then you become dangerous to anyone and anything outside your own range of experiences. Because discomfort comes, often, from unfamiliarity. And if you instinctively perceive someone unfamiliar as someone who is harming you…

[practically-an-x-man]

random question- do you headcanon any x-men characters as neurodivergent?

Oooooh man don't get me started-

The short version is, yes. I think there are a lot of characters that are coded as neurodiverse in some way or another, more characters where the manifestation of their mutations could be an allegory for neurodivergency, and even some "lighter" headcanons that I wouldn't want to see in canon but think have good storytelling potential outside of it.

It's a common headcanon that Scott is autistic, and I agree with it. I also think Hank is autistic, but it manifests differently in him than in Scott. I also headcanon that Scott gets chronic migraines, though I'm not sure whether that qualifies as neurodivergency or not.

Prodigy is AuDHD for sure, just by the nature of his powers - he collects skills, takes a new hobby and learns as much as he possibly can about it, masters it, then ends up dropping it and moving on to the next one? I know AuDHD is more than just that, but as someone who does the same thing, it definitely speaks to me and I think he's a good character to reflect that.

Peter Maximoff absolutely has ADHD, he's basically ADHD incarnate.

Erik has PTSD six ways from Sunday, I don't think that one even qualifies as a headcanon. Logan also has PTSD, along with Forge and most/all of the mutants who were drafted into the Vietnam War in DOFP (Alex Summers, Toad, etc.)

I do headcanon Dazzler as having some form, maybe multiple forms, of synesthesia. It could be comorbid with her mutation itself, given her abilities are to change one form of sensory input into a different form of sensory input, and that's effectively what synesthesia is within the brain. In general, I subscribe to the idea of superpowers that genuinely affect multiple aspects of a person's life - it's not just a press-a-button power to turn on, it's woven into their mind and body and genuinely affects how they interact with the world.

I also think any telepath would have to qualify as neurodivergent, given their view on the world is innately impacted by processing the thoughts of everyone around them. I don't know that there would be a specific "label" for what they experience, and I think it varies from person to person, but it's definitely a form of neurodivergency.

I also feel like clone characters are innately neurodivergent, especially in relation to developmental or age-related disorders. Studies of actual cloned animals tell us that they're more prone to neurological conditions and tend to develop age-related mental and physical disorders much earlier than they should, so I think there should be at least some sort of reflection in mutant clones like Laura Kinney. Healing factor of course would negate some of the effects, but I could see her with dyslexia or dyscalculia, or perhaps some form of memory disorder. And of course, in Logan (2017) she has a sort of selective mutism tied to trauma, which could be an neat thing to explore in writing her even outside the context of the movie.

I think there are a lot of characters that would be interesting to explore if they had some form of neurodivergency, even if it's not my headcanon for the canon character. These aren't necessarily what I'd want to see from canon, but I think it brings dimension to their stories and could be neat to explore how it interacts with their mutations.

I mean, it would be neat to see Husk with some form of sensory issues, since it would bind up with her mutation in an interesting way and could make for a cool plot. Take her mutation as a metaphor for dermatillomania, where picking at her skin becomes shedding her skin as her mutation manifests, which at best is unpleasant and at worst could be outright dangerous.

And it would be interesting to explore schizophrenia or psychosis in Magik, especially from a social perspective, since her manipulation of Limbo would no doubt be seen as a psychotic episode by others around her (angsty, but a strong metaphor for the hoops actual people with those conditions have to jump through to get recognized), and even from her own perspective it would be interesting to see how she learns to separate her actual, tangible mutation from the things she might experience with her neurological conditions.

[bg-brainrot]

Sooooo curious as to your writing process. What is it like ? How do you come up with plot points ? Or how do you decide one idea is better than another ? Where do you find inspiration ? Sorry for so many questions !

Hello Anon! No need to apologize, these are all awesome questions ✨✨ thanks for asking them!

This is going to be a long one, so a quick read more...

I'm actually going to answer them out of order, so I hope you don't mind!

A quick disclaimer: this is just how my brain approaches it, but everyone is different! Also I'm a fanfic writer doing this in my free time, none of this is professional advice or anything so take it with a grain of salt.

Where do you find inspiration?

I am one of those people who cannot stop reading, writing, watching, listening, etc. because if I'm left alone with my thoughts for too long nothing good will come of it lol. So I am constantly, constantly doing something, usually two things if I can (writing and listening to music, working out and reading webtoons, playing games and listening to audio books, playing D&D and doodling, embroidery and watching TV, the list goes on). So, to answer your question: everywhere!

Every thing I do, even if I ended up hated it, is such great inspiration to draw from. If I were to give a few things extra props, I would say D&D is phenomenal experience in putting yourself in various characters shoes and learning how to react, and webtoons are great for tropes/subverting them as well as pacing (both good and bad hah). Edit to add: Anime. I've mentioned I based my fic's arcs on anime arcs and completely forgot to list it-- very key to my inspiration!

Also lots and lots of hobbies and I will always try anything once. I've rock climbed, I've crocheted, I've done pottery, I've lockpicked (for real), I've danced, I've metal worked, I've done martial arts, etc. ADHD helps with this one 😅

Real life experiences are super helpful, but it's kind of harder to pinpoint how those are inspirational, they just kind of are.

How do you come up with plot points?

I think I once vaguely mentioned that writing BG3 fanfic feels like playing solo D&D. And that's basically how I approach plot points!

So rather than like, this happens then this happens, I look at it as if I have a framework of what I would like to happen, with certain beats that need to be met, but then I just kind of let the characters roleplay that out. Sometimes it leads to things I wasn't expecting, sometimes I need to pivot like a DM with an unruly party lol. But, since I'm working with a framework, it's usually really easy to write around the characters' choices.

For the framework itself, I usually just have a vague idea that I try to poke holes into until it turns into something bigger. So like, "reincarnation story" -> how long are they dead? Is that long enough to be impactful? Why do they care about their previous life? In what ways can they pick up from where they left off and in what ways can't they?

I do the same with one-shots to be honest: "proposing to Astarion" -> who would be involved and how? How would Tav's behavior change? How would Astarion interpret that? How would Tav react to him and pivot?

It's just a lot of questions 😂

How do you decide one idea is better than another?

This is kind of tough to do, and not always a conscious choice I'd say, but roughly two factors:

1. Is this true to the character? Which idea am I more likely to go 'oh yes, he would absolutely do that'? And if they both seem equally likely, which idea would lead to the character experiencing more growth or more actual challenge?

2. Do I like it? Honestly, the most important one for someone like me with ADHD. Because if I don't like it, it won't get written lol. If I like two ideas, but one of them is pulling me toward it with half written dialogue and full on scenes playing in my head, I know which one I'll pick every time.

What is your writing process like?

With all of the above said, my writing process is kind of all over the place. But a very, very rough outline, using one of the one-shots rotting in my drafts as an example...

First comes the idea. Ex: 'Tav and Astarion sparring early game'

Then comes a rough framework. Ex: you're sparring with a party member -> Astarion is watching, amused -> you convince him to spar you somehow -> sparring happens -> Astarion is impressed, intrigued

Then usually comes dialogue (though admittedly sometimes this comes first hah), because I like to build around the decisions they make. Ex: "Oh my dear, surely you can do better than that!" -> first thing I wrote for the fic. Kind of sets the mood, the tone.

Then I kind of write whichever scenes either need to be added to help me understand where the story is going or I add the scenes I want to write (knowing that's a dangerous game, since I might lose interest if all the fun is done upfront).

Once I'm done writing, I reread it once for typos, flow issues, inconsistencies and the like. If I read it too many times I start to overanalyze it, so I try to just release it into the world before that happens lol.

A few added steps that don't always happen:

If I get stuck on a scene: I read the sections leading up to it out loud, hoping my mouth will just fill in the rest (works out a lot of the time 😂)

If I don't like the way the dialogue sounds: I put on my best Astarion and Tav accents and act it out. Usually helps me figure it out or at least catch where it's snagging.

If I think something a character does just isn't making sense: 'ugh, that's ridiculous, why would you do that?' -> usually it means I either didn't set the scene up right, didn't give it enough background or context, or I'm not understanding the motivations enough-- all of which I need to go back and flesh out more.

If I don't like what I'm writing anymore: deadly for a brain like mine, really, but I've found ways around it pretty well. First, reread the fic! I usually want to know what happens next and my brain will kick back into high gear. Then listen to a song that evokes the feel I want from the fic. Sometimes I'll listen to it on repeat as I'm driving, doing dishes, playing a game. Like it's infusing into me lol. And if neither of those work, I try to give myself a challenge. Like, write a sentence and see if I can make it fit into the fic -- it doesn't actually need to go into the final version, but the challenge is what gets me up and going.

Anyway! That was a whole lot. I hope some of it was helpful, and most of it made sense hah. Again, thanks so much for the question anon! I love answering these ❤️

[reilleclan-blog]

I was really hoping I could leave my abusive mother but I'm still stuck here. I had lost hope with certain things until I got a call about an apartment and I thought it'd be this but the universe keeps taking opportunities away from me I don't understand what I'm supposed to do . I feel trapped and yeah I feel like I will never escape I don't make enough money for the apartment and it's possibly gone to someone else. I tried getting another client but they haven't reached out to me since last week. Literally posting on the internet and interacting with others is all I have most ppl in my life wouldn't care about anything I feel pride over. I don't want to argue I don't want to fight . I don't I just want to live but it's hard all the time.

At this point I'm gonna say a lot of stuff that is stressing me out and if that means "exposing" then I guess so. My mother began spam texting me to clean .. basically the entire house b/c I'm home or b/c "I don't work a real job" I work part time and with my adhd and autism I'm lucky I still have a job. But I don't understand why I'd ever have to clean this big ass house ON MY OWN when I've cleaned it MULTIPLE times on my own just for my mother to re dirty it not even trying to keep it clean how it was. It feels like if she wants to talk to me she talks to me just to boss me around and that's it. She doesn't have problems with other ppl's daughters helping them or FEEDING them. Cause btw when I moved back in with my mother she wouldn't feed me she'd go out not saying where or when she'd be back and have leftovers spoil or wouldn't let me have anything when she knew I wasn't working and knew I was barely eating.

So yeah the little money I had "saved" went to buying $100 worth of groceries or fast food cause I didn't have many options. And again I'm fucking disabled but nobody cares about that b/c I'm not "disabled on the outside". But back to cleaning this house MOST OF THE MESS is from my MOTHER everything is from my mother. I'm not perfect I have some clothes I haven't picked up a couple unwashed dishes but most of that is from my mother and her doing favors for ppl b/c she wants to be liked or whatever.

I don't have a problem helping my mom but when I'm being berated and told I'm lazy just for this lady to spam text me to clean up HER MESS. And for her to call our family to tell them I'm lazy.. and I'm just wasting oxygen in this stupid fucking house.. that's not a good feeling at all. And I hate that I care for my mother but if I don't do something her way or right away or (in this case cleaning an entire downstairs by myself when it has papers and arts and crafts and HER SHOES and she has a TON of clothes she's bought) I'm immediately "the bad guy" I'm so tired of these fucking ppl I'm so tired of family saying "we don't know what went on in that house" THATS RJFHT U DONT SO WHY THE FJCK DO YALL MAKE ME THE VILLIAN B/C U SEE ONE ASPECT OF OUR LIVES OR INTERACTIONS. I'm so fucking tired THIS IS LKKE EVERYDAY MESS.

Yes I'm not the cleanest but I KEEP MY MESS IN MY ROOM AND MY ROOM WOULD LOOK LIKE THE CLEANIEST IN THIS BITCH IF U SEEN THIS FUCKING HOUSE. IM TJRED I WANT TO LEAVE I WANT TO FUCKING EXPERIENCE THAT MAYBE SOMETHING CAN BE GOOD OUT THERE INSTEAD OF LIVING IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE. AND MIND U WHEN I WAS ASKING MY MOTHER FOR HELP WITH THE APARTMENT SHE TOLD ME SHE EOULD HELP THEN CHANGED HER MIND AND I BEGSN TK CRY MY EYES IUT BECAUSE JF IT WAS ANYONE ELSES KID SHE WOULD HELP THEM THEN LETTER SHE GAVE ME WHAT I NEEDED BUT WHY WHY DO I CONSTANTLY NEED TK BE HURT BY THESES "ADULTS" IM TOLD IM LOVED BUTNI HAVE NEVER DELT IT NEVER

MY DAD IS JUST S HUSK OF A DUDE I CALL DAD IM SO FUCKING TIRED IM TIRED . I THINK ABOUT SUICIDE ALMOST ALL THE TIME BECAUSE J FEEL BROKEN I FEEL ALONE THATS ALL I FEEL I FUCKING HATE THJS PLACE I actually sh and at this point it really just feels like only options. I feel trapped I try to embrace myself with hobbies I love but I constantly see stuff I don't have or what others have or what's happening around our world but I'm still stuck in this hell hole feeling trapped. I'd say I have become happier as a person but my mother just takes it away and finds any reason to hate me. Yes it feels like she hates me and my father and at this point I don't think anyone can convince me they don't. I want to forget everything and move on but my brain constantly brings up my trauma I don't want to remember it.

If u tell me to "just be positive" I might shoot someone in the face. I'm JOKING HAHAHA I'm just so lost I wish I felt like I was cared for I wish someone would even care as I type this out. Nobody cares not even my blood

I don't think anyone wouldn't care if i disappeared but it'd be too late for anyone to care. I'm sorry I can't hold on I don't know

[fqirycollective]

The Link Between ADHD and DID - A Theory!

Disclaimer

This is a personal theory that I created. This is based off my personal research and thoughts, and shouldn’t be treated as 100% fact. I’m not a professional, and these are just my own conclusions being drawn to make an overall observation. This being said, I have the theory that it’s a similar principle with autism as it is with ADHD and why so many systems are/have one or both, but I don’t have enough proper research on autism to say for sure. Please keep all of this in mind while reading!

First, how do systems form?

The current theory is the Theory of Structural Dissociation. In a simplified version, this theory says that all children are born with multiple ego states. As we grow up, these ego states integrate into one identity and personality. However, if severe and repetitive trauma occurs before they integrate (it happens all throughout childhood but “finishes” at around 7-9), the brain may start to rely on dissociation and dissociative barriers between ego states. This happens so one of the ego states can continue life as normal, despite the trauma and another can hold the traumatic memories and responses to keep the other from needing to deal with them. Those ego states then develop into their own personalities and identities. Disorganized attachment also plays a role, where the child has conflicting feelings about their caregiver where they both love and are afraid of them due to inconsistent patterns. Not all systems form from abuse, but 90% of systems do because of the disorganized attachment and how a lot of forms of abuse are normalized to where the caregiver may not respond adequately to the child’s needs. It’s important to remember that dissociation is a last resort and traumatic experiences once or twice won’t cause a system.

Does this mean there was nothing else to cope with?

This is a debated topic, from what I’ve seen? Not 100% sure about that, but there seem to be two iffy sides. However, you can have friends, teachers you trust, hobbies, etc. and still be a system. Just because you have things that are able to be used as a coping mechanism, doesn’t necessarily mean that the child knew to use it as such, especially if trauma happened early enough that you picked them up after dissociation became the primary coping mechanism. As for the friends and adults the child trusts? That would almost always require telling them about the trauma, which would mean the child would have to accept that the trauma was happening on some level which goes against what the disorder is about. 

How does this relate to ADHD?

Rejection sensitivity dysphoria is the first thing that came to mind. Other disorders can experience rejection sensitivity, but the dysphoria part comes from there not really being a trigger to the intense emotions (which is why the term RSD is ADHD-specific and others should use rejection sensitivity or RS for short!) and it’s instead from the learned behavior of rejection from peers, even without interaction whereas in other disorders, there is usually some type of interaction. With RSD, it’s extremely difficult to identify and regulate the intense reactions to perceived rejection. Abuse and disorganized attachment is based on rejection by others, especially since systems are often taught that abuse can co-exist with love. Struggling to cope with those emotions can lead to an increased chance of dissociation. One study found that 80% of children with ADHD are in the bullied and rejected classifications.

My Conclusions

Essentially, I have the theory that such intense emotions may lead it to be more likely for a child to dissociate due to the inability to regulate and therefore are overwhelmed by emotions easier. Beyond this, the high levels of rejection among children with ADHD makes it harder for them to make friends. I have personally even been rejected by teachers and other adults without them causing any type of trauma. This, paired with the fact that the child would have to accept the trauma to tell anyone, and that it’s frequent that the trauma starts before the possibility to gain hobbies to cope with, could make it likelier that the child dissociates instead of using other coping mechanisms. My theory is that so many systems have ADHD because of the likelihood they probably have to rely on dissociation more than other coping mechanisms that may help in the face of trauma.

[petitelepus]

I’d love to get a Yandere TFP Matchup, if that’s alright!!

I’m ace, with no particular preference for either gender, and tend to make jokes poking fun at the fact I don’t have sex. I use he/him pronouns exclusively, and I enjoy writing as my hobby, especially for fandom. Another hobby I really enjoy is drawing, although I’m not nearly as good at that and I get frustrated easily.

I’m a Sun/Moon Libra, and an introvert. I tend to keep to myself when there’s too many people I don’t know, but once I trust someone, you practically have to pry me off them. I adore physical affection (it’s one of my main love languages, I am a touch starved bitch lmao). I am autistic and ADHD, and I have a lot of verbal stims that I pick up from the people around me.

I don’t have much of a temper, in fact I have the opposite problem. I rly struggle to stand up for myself but I’m getting much better at it.

My favorite colors are purple and green, because they have such a variety between the various shades that I thinks it’s fun.

My two favorite subjects are anthropology and psychology, I love learning about people.

So yeah!! That’s me.

P.S. : I absolutely adore your writing <3

Soundwave is Yandere for you!

Soundwave prides himself for not having proper feelings other than respect toward his leader Megatron. So just imagine when he sees you hanging out with Autobots and he feels something in his Spark. Something similar to what he feels towards Megatron, only darker and more passionative.

You're different and he loves it. Until now, all the humans he had seen were boring and similar, like ants in an ant's nest. But you are so different with your way of picking up talking styles from people surrounding you or your autism.

Soundwave just wants to just grab you and lock you away so you would belong only to him.

This Decepticon took you when you least expected it, opening the space bridge just in front of you. You didn't even see him, only one of his many tentacles that emerged from the bridge, curled around your body, and pulled you through the bridge to the Nemesis.

Soundwave makes sure to treat you well. He honors your pronounces, your sexuality, and such. He won't do anything to you that makes you feel uncomfortable, but if you ask to be sent back to the ground you get a cold shoulder from the Decepticon.

You're most of the time locked in the Soundwave's habsuite, which is fine for your introverted lifestyle, but it can get lonely. The only person who knows about you is the one who took you and he isn't planning on letting you return home anytime soon.

Soundwave makes sure you aren't bored while he is working. He has gotten you a computer, drawing tablet, and paper and pencil, whatever you might want to use to write or draw.

Of course, he has made sure that the devices you get have the internet on them, but they are blocked so that you can search for things or listen to music, but you can't send any messages to request help.

Soundwave can tell your favorite colors by how you use them in your art and he enjoys it that you like his paint job. Your interests are his interests, even if the rest of the Cons couldn't care less about humans or their evolution.

There is nothing Soundwave enjoys more than coming back to you after a long day. He picks you up and just holds you in his lap as he uses his long slender servos to scratch and pet you. It might have been awkward at first, but you grow to love them.

[branmuffins22]

13, 26, 35, 39, 44 from this ask game

Ooo, that's a lotta questions!

13. Do you outline your fics? How much of a headache would someone get if they just looked at an outline of yours without reading the fic?

The short answer? NOT EXACTLY BUT I REALLY REALLY SHOULD

The longer answer?

Technically, I have almost every major plot point written down in some form or another before I write a thing. That said, they usually aren't in any sensible order, and are buried in a mess of a channel in my private discord server, where ALL my brainrot goes.

When I write, I mostly just pick a starting point from one of my notes, and walk it forward from there. I tried properly outlining for one of my fics, and it got me... somewhere, but for the most part, my brain just doesn't work that way. An outline becomes a task list, and I can't stand task lists.

My current system is kinda horrid, but I'd be more worried about someone getting bored sifting through all my scattered notes than getting a headache from them.

26. What’s your biggest distraction when writing?

That one's... probably a tossup between a lot of things. Bodily needs, background streamers mentioning something I actually have an opinion on, my mother barging in with shame and deadlines for cyclical tasks (man, I need out of this house), my twin having something funny to show me... basically just ~Life~, lmao.

I guess part of the problem with my current life situation is that I don't have a lot of time that's truly, unequivocally my own, so I get pushed and pulled around by whatever or whoever calls my attention loudest.

...Or maybe that's just the adhd talking.

35. How much has writing fic changed your life?

SIGNIFICANTLY.

Now, I've been known to struggle with feelings of situational/emotional permanence, so I could be a little biased by the fact that it's my current biggest hobby, but at this point, around half of my social life happens in fandom/fanfiction circles, which wasn't the case a year or two ago.

Two years ago, I didn't read for fun. Like, full stop. I only started doing that after Thanks to Them released, when the hiatus brainrot got me seeking content and community from more than just the show itself and the friend who got me into it. I think the very first fanfic I read was a oneshot someone cross-posted to tumblr, which somehow convinced me to join both tumblr (technically rejoin tumblr) and Ao3 around the same time. Well. maybe a month or so apart, because of the weird account-creation queue thing Ao3 has goin' on. But still.

I don't think I started to consider writing my own fanfiction until I read A Blight on Bonesborough, by GeminiAlchemist, and got a bunch of ideas from the way they expanded upon the lore and magic system and characters and all that of the Owl House.

From there, it kinda took over my life completely, lmao.

I wanted to write about Luz's experiments with glyphs, and some potential avenues of missed opportunity brought to my attention by The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled, by IdeaHunter, and that eventually turned into the Artificer|Overthinker AU (to this day i still haven't picked the name).

Later, I wanted a story about Luz experiencing human high school again after all the dust settled, and after reading a fun fic whose premise was great but whose execution didn't quite scratch the itch (Luz Noceda and the mysterious case of her imaginary girlfriend, by Imkindagayyk), that slowly evolved into Masha and the Very Normal Nocedas (which I actually started writing over a year ago, and still haven't gotten to a postable state with even a single chapter, lmao).

Ever since, I've pretty much been rotating some fic idea or another in my head 24/7.

Nowadays, I wake up and check ao3 for fic updates/new fics, I read while I cook and eat breakfast, I browse tumblr for new stuff from my faves and mutuals, I check ao3 again every few hours, sometimes (but not often) I find the motivation and such to actually write, and I kinda keep up like that all day.

It's maybe a little excessive/obsessive/destructive/etc, but fanfiction kinda defines all the intentional parts of my life right now.

39. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

Voice and gimmicks.

The most prominent examples I can think of are the various literary tropes I try to imbue certain characters and such with. I usually write in 3rd-person limited perspective, so the characters' voices influence not just the way I write their dialog, but the way I write entire scenes.

There aren't any good examples of it in either of the fics I've actually posted so far, so you'll kinda just have to trust me on this, but a great example is the way I establish the POV character of a given scene.

It's easier for some characters than others, and I haven't come up with a gimmick for every character yet, but I try to open each scene with a literary trope that emphasizes some aspect of the POV character's voice.

For example, scenes written from Luz's point of view always start with speech, either hers or directed at her. Luz is a rambunctious, chatty, and kinda awkward character, who tends to exert herself on every situation she comes across, so I figure an unconventional (and arguably obnoxious, according to some people) opener works great for her.

Hunter is an outwardly-cocky character with some deep-seated self-worth problems (and a very slanted worldview besides), so his scenes always start with a self-affirmation of some kind, usually followed by a contradiction. Often, he's either intentionally or subconsciously trying to convince himself of something, or to do whatever it is he's about to be doing in the scene.

Vee is a bit of a special case. Like Luz, her scenes start in media res, but she tends to borrow the gimmicks of characters around her. She's a shapeshifter, and learned about life in the outside world as a doppelganger, so she has a tendency for mimicry, intentional or not. She also has a secondary gimmick, one that's a bit more her own, in that narration about her often finds itself filled with alliteration, especially involving the letter S (since she's sort of a snake, and snakes hisssss (and doing it with the letter V was too hard lmao)). It started as a running gag she played on Masha in MatVNN, but then I couldn't stop using it, so it's kinda everywhere now.

Masha is a superstitious (though slightly apathetic) character with a keen eye (and no attention span with which to wield it). They tend to seek out meaning even where there isn't any, and thus often completely miss the broader details in favor of the little things. Their scenes start with an isolated excerpt, usually a tarot reading. In an ideal world, the readings would foreshadow both the events of the scene and at least one of the ways they've misinterpreted them, but unfortunately, I haven't yet actually learned enough tarot to do that. It's a big part of why Masha and the Very Normal Nocedas is taking so long to get to a postable state 😅.

That's pretty much all the opening gimmicks I've worked out so far, but another one I'd like to mention has to do with the way magic is written.

Whenever a spell is cast, I whip out my thesaurus and try to sprinkle in a few words nearby that relate to the kind of spell being cast. For instance, I might say that when Willow casts a wall of vines, she first "plants her feet on the ground", or "stifles her budding anger". Before Luz casts an invisibility spell, she might think about "hiding the cards she was dealt" or maybe "her hands disappear into her pockets". Stuff like that.

The way I imagine it, magic taps straight into the caster's homonculus (broadly, the part of their brain that decides and understands what encompasses "the body") in such a way that the caster becomes part of the spell just as much as the spell becomes part of the caster.

Luz in particular, having the knack for magic that she does, tends to start this process of "becoming the spell" as soon as she decides to cast it, not just at the moment she actually casts it. It's like working yourself into the headspace of a thing, before sitting down and doing it. I've got a whole huge segment in one of my more dramatic fics that's basically an entire page of this kind of thing, with Luz preparing to cast a really big spell (or, well. technically a pair of big spells (TECHNICALLY technicaly it's one normal spell being used to prepare to cast the two massive spells. it's a whole thing)). It honestly might be the highlight of my writing portfolio, which is a huge shame because it's a MASSIVE spoiler.

Anyways, uhhh yeah. I really like gimmicks.

44. Rant about something writing related.

WELL SHITDAMNFUCK, IF ONLY I READ ALL THESE QUESTIONS AHEAD OF TIME! I COULD'VE SPARED SOME OF THOSE PRIOR RANTS FOR HERE!

Well. Guess I aughtta find something else to write about.

How about the ultimate enemy, the scourge of our people, the cornerstone of suffering itself, the dreaded and feared, the great and terrible:

Writer's Block.

It may come as a surprise to the ignorant among us (hehe, amogus), but I, too, suffer from Writer's Block from time to time! In fact, I'm even suffering from it right now! And I have been for the past... oh goodness, over 2 months now.

I had one good day of writing, in all that time, which only came about because I nearly fell asleep in the tub. I somehow daydreamed my way into a really good turn of phrase that I just HAD to put into context for Backlight and Bitrot.

So far, that singular scene, set (the equivalent of) several seasons into the story, remains both the only thing I've written for that fic, and the only thing I've written at all since January.

It's infuriating! I have all these ideas, all these things I WANT to write, all these people I want to share these ideas with, all this time, all this passion, all this brainrot, and yet I Just! Can't! Write!

AUGH!

It would be one thing if I'd simply run out of ideas; I could call this whole thing something pretty like a "dreaming phase" or a "break in order to recharge" or whatever. But I've been dreaming for ages! This break has been in no way relieving! I'm just wallowing in my inability to do the things i love, while the world moves on around me!

You've had an excellent way of phrasing this for yourself, recently: "The executives are on vacation."

It's not some pleasure cruise for me! Those darn jerks (basic brain functions) who dictate every little thing that goes on around here just fucked off to who-knows-where! Completely blind to the consequences (stagnation, suffering, shame) of their absence, and how those affect their employees (me)! I just work here, man! Lemme do my job! I wanna do my job, but I can't if you don't let me! Ugh.

I want to write so goddamn bad. I've got all these projects to write for, all these brainrot spores to spread. I've got so much I want to accomplish, and yet my dumb bitch brain can't seem to get the memo. Work phone is powered off, I suppose.

It's gotten to the point lately that even those random notes to myself have slowed down. I'm having less new ideas than before. I'm picking old ideas out and polishing them less than before.

I'm worried I might end up having to find a way to cater my writing to the dumb mammal part of my brain somehow, in order to bring some momentum back. Write about something crude and easy and filled with every instantly-gratifying fantasy I can imagine.

No more of this 'careful thought' and 'consideration for themes' junk, we want it LOUD and we want it NOW.

Ugh.

Writer's Block is the worst.

What a bummer to end on. Oh well, I'm gettin' kinda sleepy, and I'm out of questions anyways. Thanks for the ask!

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

hi, can i ask for a romantic matchup for hsr, genshin, and bsd? thank you! this is quite lengthy, so please take your time as always! (if i didnt already send in an ask??? idk adhd stuff makes me lose attention)

i'm agender, but i can go by any pronouns. shel her is my default since i look like a girl. i'm aroace, but on the spectrum that i can fall in love but it'll be extremely difficult.

zodiac/mbti: virgo, intj, sx/sp

appearance: i'm pretty short, 5’5, fairly olive skintone and phoenix eyes. i have shoulder length black hair, slightly wavy, an oval face, and some sideswept bangs parted from the middle. i wear glasses, silver frames. my eyebrows are pretty thick. i look more cute-sque then anything.

likes and hobbies/interests: reading, writing, crocheting, taking walks, horse-riding, listening to music

dislikes: unhygienic things, people who make life harder for you by doing things like standing in front of a subway station's staircase, and a refusal to understand certain things

personality: i’m passionate and opinionated, individualistic, honest and wears my heart on my sleeve. outwardly and inwardly, i’m very contemplative and reflective, so it tends to give me a more quiet aura and first impressions. sometimes im too stuck in my head. i’m also very levelheaded. realistic, but also very optimistic with it. i’m very considerate of others, but sometimes i open my mouth before i finish thinking. i do acts of service and physical touch, and i try to push myself and others to be healthier people with their permission. im not pushy with serious topics. im the type of person who always gets their jokes taken seriously over text. i give good advice (which i say, because they mainly work out in positive ways) and me and my friends joke around a lot.

thanks again!

Hi! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took a while! I hope you like your matchups!

In Honkai Star Rail, I match you with...

Welt loves listening to music with you. He finds both the tunes and your presence soothing. He can be encouraged to dance with you, but only to slow songs. He’s not really up for dancing to anything too fast or upbeat.

He admires your honesty and your tendency to wear your heart on your sleeve. He will always do his best to make sure he doesn’t hurt you. The last thing he wants is for you to feel betrayed in any way.

Welt is surprisingly good at helping you get out of your head. No one’s quite sure how he does it but whenever you’re feeling stuck in a loop, he’s there to help you out.

Your tendency to speak before you think is nothing unusual for him. Now, he’s just got another person like March to be around…

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

Ayato would love horse-riding with you. I see him as someone who knows how to handle a horse and is surprisingly good at it.

His favourite moments are when you’re out riding together and there’s a soft breeze. It’s relaxing. He loves being able to get away from his duties and spend time with you.

Goes to you whenever he needs advice. He’s used to dealing with things on his own, but now that he has you, he wants your opinion on big decisions.

Please ask his anytime you need advice as well! He’s had years of practice picking the right choices so he’s very good at giving sound advice as well.

If you crochet anything for him, he will treasure it forever. His favourite thing would be a blanket since he could wrap himself up in it when he has to work late. It’s a little reminder of you.

In Bungo Stray Dogs, I match you with...

You and Atsushi would very rarely have fights. You’re both very honest and open people so any problems you have would be solved quickly and easily.

You’re also both level headed which everyone at the agency appreciates greatly. The last thing anyone needs is another people jumping into every possible argument or fight they see.

I think Atsushi would also fall in love very easily. He didn’t really get a lot of love as a kid so any affection means a lot to him.

Please teach him how to crochet! He would love to learn and he’ll make things for you to show his appreciation.

Astushi also loves reading and writing with you. He’d love to have dates where you both read the same book or you each write something for the other person and then gift it to them at the end.

[silvermoon424]

hi katy :)) i’m sure you’ve answered this before, and if you have, you can totally just ignore this ask, but recently i’ve been wondering if i have adhd. i’m a 20 year old woman, and i’ve been diagnosed with anxiety for basically my whole adolescence. in the past few weeks though i’ve learned a lot more about adhd/neurodivergence and i feel like it’s much more accurate to my experience. my only real exposure to adhd is my little brother, who has been diagnosed since he was 12 and behaves VERY differently than i do. if you could possibly detail your experience with adhd as a woman that would really help me out a lot in deciding if i want to pursue a new diagnosis. thanks in advance!!

Hi there!

ADHD/autism/neurodiversity in general can be experienced a lot of different ways by people; it's a very broad spectrum, but there are definitely traits that pop up again and again for a lot of people. Here are some traits I have personally identified as being influenced/driven by my ADHD (or autism, sometimes it's hard to distinguish the two)

Very poor impulse control, especially with money and food

Having poor memory in some areas but excellent memory in others (usually due to how strongly the topic interests me)

Having trouble remembering things (as in appointments, important dates, etc)

Having a very hard time focusing or maintaining focus

Easily distracted

Fidgets often (my fidgets are picking through my split ends and jiggling my ankle)

Needing to take frequent breaks when working/doing chores/etc due to burnout

Needing CONSTANT stimulation; for example, much of my free time is spent listening to Youtube video essays while I color manga, typeset, scan things, etc. Sometimes I do just watch things (especially late at night when I'm tired), but I don't think I could ever do a menial task without having some other stimulation for my brain

Talking to myself

Info-dumping

Being amazing at multi-tasking (but struggling with single-tasking because of the whole "need more stimulation" thing)

Hyper-fixating on things to the point of not realizing I'm thirsty, have a crick in neck, etc

I daydream frequently and have an entire daydream universe (called a paracosm) full of my own OCs and storylines. I'm what's called an immersive daydreamer. Immersive daydreaming/maladaptive daydreaming is its own thing, but from what I've heard people who do it are often also neurodivergent. If you daydream a lot about a fictional universe(s) of your own creation, I would highly recommend looking into this topic.

My brain literally never shuts the fuck up. Ever. I'm constantly thinking about SOMETHING. Even when I'm trying to fall asleep I'm playing with my OCs and paracosm, lol (one of my favorite parts of the day tbh). Because of this I've suffered from insomnia for much of my life. I've been on a sedative that also functions as an antidepressant for many years and it's helped a lot.

I literally just learned that this has a name: Rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD). People with ADHD are often highly sensitive to criticism and rejection (real or imagined). For my entire life I have been extremely sensitive to being criticized, and all this time it has been a side-effect of my ADHD!

When given a task, I need to be told exactly what to do and how to do it or else it's not getting done. In general I have a hard time "thinking outside the box" and can be pretty oblivious.

Executive dysfunction is a bitch. This also overlaps with depression and autism, but basically I have a literal mountain of projects and hobbies I want do and another literal mountain of shows/anime/movies I want to watch but I can't get past the mental hurdle of actually engaging with them. It's very hard to explain, but it's like even though I want to do them I either don't have the energy, get overwhelmed by the enormity of the task, start doing it and then lose focus/motivation partway through, etc.

That's all I could think of off the top of my head but I'm sure there's more. I feel like every week I discover there's a new way ADHD is impacting my life. Please let me know if you have any other questions!

[merlumina]

hi there, tumblr

So after quitting all other social media (twitter, instagram, facebook), I found myself 1) pretty lonely tbh and 2) at a loss for how to keep myself creatively motivated and inspired with nowhere to share my work. I'd heard from several people that tumblr is way more chill these days, and while I hesitated at first, I finally decided to give it a try. After a few weeks of waiting from tech support to regain access to my account (pro tip: don't sign up for anything important with your college email address), I regained access yesterday and spent some time doing some tidying up (i. e. deleting most of my old posts and likes).

So...hi! Feels weird to be back. Life has changed so much in the past seven years. It was interesting going back through old posts to relive those times. Since I was last here, this is what I've been up to:

hollowforest and I got married in 2020. While he was unfortunately not able to propose to me at MAGFest after a particularly victorious round of Gundam Xtreme VS, which would have been rad, we settled for eloping at county jail, which is also a cool story.

Ringo, my cat, is still with us! But now we also have a dog, Haru (named after Persona 5 Haru). Yeah I like dogs now. I like pitt bulls now. 2012 me would never.

After years of self-doubt and self-loathing about my life choices, I actually became what I wanted to be when I grew up - a software developer! In late 2020 I took the plunge to do a coding bootcamp and got really lucky being hired into an apprenticeship program before I'd even graduated. Now I'm making those big coding $$$ working from home, literally living the dream and still kind of in awe.

I joined the Diagnosed with ADHD in My 30s club! (Also, I'm in my 30s now)

We bought a house in October, 2022! I did not think it would be possible for the longest time, but due to the big job upgrade we were finally able to afford it.

I've played a lot of video games, but not beaten that many.

I picked up game dev as a hobby and have made a few small games during game jams.

My mental health is overall a lot better now! Part of that is from therapy, part of that is from self reflection, part of that is maybe just growing up. See also: quitting aforementioned social medias.

Improved mental health aside, my hangups about my artistic abilities and creative capacity still haven't improved any in the past 10 years. It's one of my biggest personal insecurities, but also one of the reasons I'm trying Tumblr again! I wanted somewhere to post my practice routine to keep myself accountable, as well as a place to get inspiration from other artists.

I'm going to make a concerted effort to keep this blog focused on art and personal things that make me happy. After I left Tumblr in 2016 I started working on myself and trying to focus on bringing more empathy into my interactions with others. Whether or not I've been successful at that is another matter, but in general it has helped me be a happier person. I am not interested in participating in Discourse. I don't think you can judge the "goodness" of a human based on a handful of things they've said/done online, and I won't be made to cast judgment on anyone. I think we should spend less time tearing down people in our own communities and more time asking why it's so easy for the people in power to trick us into fighting each other. In general, the overall vibe that everyone's social media account is a personal soapbox where they can make declarations about what is Right and what people Should be doing makes me uncomfortable. So I'm going to try not to do any more of that here. I do like still having those discussions sometimes, but I prefer a more personal venue, where I feel like I'm talking with people rather than at them.

Let's be cool to each other! -Liz / merlumina

[hrmitena]

hi!! i saw you were doing matchups, could i get one? :D

i’m transmasc and omni/ace, i’m short... i’m very shy/anxious, i’m kinda sensitive and insecure, but i tend to get clingy and affectionate once i’m close with someone, and really talkative and i get excited really easily. i’d say i’m a pretty good listener, i really like hearing about what my friends have to say :D

i like to draw A Lot. i want to be an animator someday i like video games, and i tend to try to pick up hobbies a lot and then forget about them quickly hgfdrfgh. its the adhd i think…i really really like horror but i’m a coward when it comes to playing games/watching movies. i also love cutesy stuff!! and plushies <3 i also like space stuff

anyone but l/n or mmj is fine!! (i have nothing against them i’m not not very into them jhgftyghk) my favorite group is wxs though so someone from them would be nice

tysm if you do this!! i hope that’s enough info and i hope you have a great day!!

i match you with nene!

• she understands being shy and anxious, it’s something she can very much get behind. she believes your insecurities are just things that make you special, and does her best to make you aware of that; like complimenting you. they’re very nene-like compliments, rushed and with a red face. she’ll listen to you talk about anything, all while letting you hold onto her and trying to push down the blush rushing to her face. when you let her talk, though, she appreciates that you listen.

• as the gamer she is, nene is always up for a game night! she’s aware of your admiration for horror but fear for playing/watching the genre, and that’s another thing she can honestly get behind. if playing a horror game, she tries to be as brave as she can be and warns you whenever a jumpscare is about to happen (though scared herself). she likes seeing what you draw, and thinks you’re very talented. she keeps the drawings you make for her, and keeps them in a special area in her bedroom <3.

• she takes you to arcades and such, doing her best to win you a plushie you’d been eying. if unsuccessful, she sighs, apologizing to you and ends up buying you one instead. she’s not that interested in space, but always listens to you talk about it, learning a thing or two, and maybe even writing notes for future reference.

[randum-famdoms]

Well. Sometimes this is true. Please keep in mind that for a lot of things, OP is fully correct and fannon definitely needs to be a hell of a lot better in a LOT of fandoms.

But, sometimes, I’ve seen fandoms where the fannon is better than cannon in a lot of ways. This can be small things, like expanding on a one-dimensional character, or adding to the worldbuilding or lore, or even small things like personal headcannons you’ve created with friends that add nothing to the story but they’re fun. Cannon doesn’t need to be tossed out entirely - if we did that there would be no story, and all fannon is based on cannon in a fundamental way.

I sometimes say fuck cannon, fannon is my new cannon. I usually say this for fandoms like Harry Potter, because JK rowling is a terf who writes largely one dimensional characters while leaving huge plot holes and not taking advantage of amazing worldbuilding (I am still bothered about her not utilizing parseltounge after book 2). I say this about BNHA, because imo it went really downhill after season 3 and everything after the class A versus class B fight featuring Shinsou was absolute trash and the story has been dragged on to the point of snapping and the characters have no depth beyond maybe 5 characters and I could rant about it for hours - but I digress. Fannon in that fandom is honestly also pretty shit a lot of the time, because the fandom is pretty shitty itself (not all of it, but still). But there are still parts of fannon that I love. Kaminari being adhd, being fluent in English, and loving classic literature. Dabi having Marie Antoinette syndrome. Red Shoe Theory. Dad for One. I could go on.

Sometimes fannon can be predictable, because we as humans often long for representation of some kind or another. In all fandoms you will see fannon of characters being queer or POC or neurodivergent. That is not a bad thing. It’s also not all of fannon. A lot of fannon expands on lore and worldbuilding, it gives characters hobbies, it retcons deaths and makes conspiracies about family ties (hello, Todoroki).

And you are right that a lot of times fannon can verge into infantalization of neurodivergence and queer identities and racism, because a lot of fandoms can be toxic in those ways. Bnha is a great example of this. But you can ignore that. You can ignore “Mina Ashido is Afro-Asian and [insert racist trope here]” and only interact with “Mina Ashido is Afro-Asian because that community needs better representation and a lot of the fandom supports this headcannon out of a genuine place”. Block the assholes, if you will. It isn’t perfect, but nothing in life or fandom is.

You don’t have to accept all of fannon. You can pick and choose what you engage with. “Fuck cannon, fannon is my bestie” isn’t how most people in fandoms actually feel, it’s just fun to say. Sometimes that is how they feel, because sometimes cannon really is that shitty, for one reason or another.

But above all, I love fannon because of how it can bring a community together. These thousands, millions of people with this shared interest looked at this thing and decided that this made up thing about it is now a universal shared truth. They saw these one or two little things in cannon and built an entire headcannon around it and the rest of the fandom saw that and decided that it was great and that is now their cannon. Fandoms do this to the point where there’s sometimes an entire new story in the subtext. It’s beautiful, it is a microcosm of culture and if I had the credentials time and money then I would love to do a scientific study on it. We have been doing this for centuries, this is how religions start, this is how language is made, this is how culture and media and stories and humanity is built.

I’m not trying to tell you that you are wrong. I’m not telling you that the way you engage with fandom and cannon is incorrect. I’m simply trying to give a different perspective, from someone who loves the ways that fannon can build up both a piece of media and the people who engage with it.

I think I dislike ‘fuck canon fanon rulez’ takes because time after time I see how boring and predictable fanon is and how often it reinforces racism and misogyny etc. in ways canon never did

and I think having to work around canon and with canon to make something new usually ends up pushing people to make something weirder and cooler