#worth that time energy or labor. and i know that my mom is a big factor in this too because she put herself last so its kind of all i know | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

volunruud · 1 year ago

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the "reasons not to get pregnant/have kids" list is full of misogyny and reasons regarding a mother's physical appearance and her worth (and/or conflating those reasonings). they do not resonate with me at all, as a woman who really doesn't care about how i look necessarily or how my body changes as time goes on.

here is MY PERSONAL list of reasons to not fall pregnant and have children:

pregnancy:

my age. i'm too young.

pregnancy sucks, it's painful, dangerous, and long. *insert most common pregnancy symptoms and issues here* *insert less common pregnancy symptoms here* (yes we have all heard of common symptoms like morning sickness up to more scary symptoms like death so i'm not going to list all those. look up a list of what happens to you during pregnancy and ask expecting mothers if they want to share)

labor. need i say more

surgery. stitches. recovery. pain.

difficult pregnancy. sure i could have an easy pregnancy. or maybe i won't.

the chance of miscarriage.

the chance i'll need an abortion.

pregnancy/labor emotional trauma due to mistreatment (from family, partners, doctors).

money. expenses. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

i'd probably need a c-section which is a whole ass nightmare

subjecting myself to other mother's/people's opinions and judgement regarding literally every single choice i could ever make. "are you doing a hospital birth vs home birth, are you drinking coffee, oh youre not breastfeeding?" etc. i literally hate people and their dumbass opinions so this is a big one for me.

being subject to people touching my belly. and people getting offended when i say no (if they even bother to ask first)

not being able to smoke or drink. i love drinking and smoking. i smoke every day and i don't want to stop.

lacking a "maternal instinct" to the point i don't even believe it's real or it's very rare... i think it's mainly an excuse or justification. or a coping mechanism.

unprompted really invasive questioning. by everyone i know. no matter how well i know them. absolutely dreadful.

i like going to work. i don't want to miss a lot of days or take off for maternity leave.

have to get new clothes and my old clothes probably won't fit after pregnancy. so even more new clothes for after.

being asked if i want a girl or boy. this to me is a really dumb question because the answer is extremely obvious and also i have no control over it

hosting/planning a baby shower for myself sounds like a nightmare. i'm not even gonna think about it. and gender reveals are dumb as hell.

raising children:

constantly being reduced to "just" a mom. this one isn't too obvious but it's little things. like when random people will refer to you as mom or mama instead of your name (this may be a southern thing though).

no sleep

screaming. crying. shitting. vomiting. always cleaning up after someone and it literally never ends.

it takes an astronomical amount of EFFORT and DEDICATION. frankly i'd rather put this energy into video games and my art for the time being.

having to put someone else first. i live life for myself. i put myself first and prioritize my own needs. i don't want to change this any time soon. i love myself and dont want to waste my youth (and money time energy etc etc) caring for a baby/toddler.

if i had a girl: having to constantly defend her from misogyny and body shaming (which is a big concern and something i fully expect from my family). trying to shield her, and failing.

if i have a boy: the fear of him growing up into a misogynist, which i don't think i could fully stop that honestly even though i'd try my best. also comments like "boys are so much easier than girls" piss me off.

having to miss work for my kid if they're sick or anything else.

have to put them in school and go to school meetings and events. picking them up and stuff.

they'll probably have annoying ass kid friends that they hang out with.

no guarantee of unconditional love. no guarantee of cherished memories. that's obviously the hope/goal i guess? but it's not promised to you just because you had the kid and raised it

no guarantee of someone to care for you when youre old. i know several people who consider this a valid reason to have the kid in the first place (and not a mere justification after you fall pregnant "well at least i'll have someone to take care of me!" yikes)

need more time to develop/heal due to my young age and circumstances.

i'd have to rearrange my house or transform a whole room. i like my house and rooms how they are right now.

less time for my cats and work/hobbies

i keep many toxic plants and breakable items. that i want to keep.

the way that it's extremely easy to traumatize a child, without even intending to. it's impossible to avoid. if it's not me it's someone else. with my anxiety i'll just be dreading the day something horrible happens, or thinking too much and doing the wrong thing. idk this includes countless scenarios.

i work with several mothers my age and every day they never stop complaining. i really doubt if anything about young motherhood is rewarding.

in my opinion, the social aspects of pregnancy are worse than the physical issues. like i'd rather do morning sickness than tell everyone 6262646967 times a day when my due date is etc etc etc. it just sounds so miserable. but then again i just kinda hate talking to people. i think it's that i already hate small talk and making conversation with strangers but the additional dialogue about pregnancy and children makes it so much more unbearable. so the fact we're adding in new things to say and for people to ask about? yikessss noooo.

also i would include things like "men objectifying my pregnant body" "men with pregnancy fetish" but i try not to let a man being a piece of shit perv ruin anything for me personally. and i don't think you should either (but if this is a reason for you i think it's valid).

there are many other reasons regarding the father as well. if he abandons you, cheats, doesn't pay child support, is a shit father, etc etc etc. these are extremely concerning and affect so many women and these are major reasons to consider not having a baby and to re-evaluate who you're having children with. but i'm not really including these because i think if these reasons resonate with you personally, you should not be with that man at all. like DO NOT have a baby with him but also don't be with him. because maybe you could happily have a baby with someone else (or be happier with someone else).

like i said this is my personal list as of right now. i'm 23 and don't plan on having kids for a while. so these could change but i'm not going to edit this list. i made this because i need reasons that don't solely revolve around my appearance or tie my worth into my appearance (like a certain other List). i wanted to express that there are so many reasons to not get pregnant that ARENT stretch marks and hanging non-perky tits (both of these things i have anyway so i'm not worried about my body changing how it looks). we CANNOT make it seem like the worst effects of pregnancy and motherhood is a mere few stretch marks!!! that's LITERALLY the least of my concerns.

#own #ya im selfish and i consider that a great thing #pregnancy #i did put this under a cut but decided not to #hopefully yall have long posts turned off on tha dash

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concentrateandpush · 3 years ago

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How about going in labor in a very inconvenient situation let's say in traffic, an event you've been preparing for and cant miss, stuck in an important exam, etc.? And the baby is big, and somehow progressing down fast~

Hmm the traffic one sounds good.

I’d been working overtime to try and get some extra money in. Since Finn left, I’ve been trying to get as much money behind me before I go on maternity leave. I’ve decided to work right up until forty weeks, I can’t legally work after that anyway. So it’s rush hour, I need to pee so bad and I’m stuck in traffic, in the boiling hot summer heat. All of a sudden, a motorcycle decides to zoom between the cars right past mine and I jump out of my skin, immediately gripping my underbelly and noticing a puddle underneath me “fucks sake..” I mutter as I grab some tissues to try and wipe it up. Something just feels off and I start to feel a cramping sensation in my lower abdomen, my hand presses on my lower stomach and it intensifies “shit” I whisper to myself “oh baby.. not now” I shake my head before letting out a small groan, taking some deep breaths through the contraction. Once it’s over I call my Mom, who doesn’t answer, my Dad, who doesn’t answer and then the last choice, Finn.

“Lena, what?” He snaps and I let out a small whimper “can you come and help me? Please?” I ask. “What do you mean?” He asks and I find myself unbuckling my belt and pushing the seat back. “I’m stuck on the motorway, my waters have just broken, please, I need help” I cry. “I.. I thought I told you we were through” he snaps and I groan out a roar of frustration as I hang up. “Just you and me baby” I whisper before another contraction takes over, I knew I’d been having them all day but I needed the money. “You’re not holding up are you monkey” I laugh a little as I roll the seat back and slip my sandals off. I didn’t want this to happen here, I really didn’t but I couldn’t speed up traffic.

The next hour or so goes by and I’m still stuck in a stuffy car, in this puddle of my broken waters, moving maybe one or two cars lengths at a time and that’s when I feel a shift. I’m really going to push my baby out in the car, in traffic. “Okay, okay, okay baby” I whisper before slipping my underwear off. The intense pressure was growing by the second and I look at both cars on my side, one, a car of teen stoners, the other, a truck with an older chubby guy driving it. I spread my legs, laying one foot on one side of the dashboard, one on the other side.

I slip a finger between my legs to see how it felt and I turn the mirror to face myself, just to track progress. My eyes widen as I feel the top of baby’s head trying to push through my cervix. That’s when my phone starts to ring, it’s my Mom. I reach over to press the button and her voice lights the car up “Lena Sweetheart, You okay?” She asks and I shake my head even though she can’t see. “I’m in labor” I pant as I try to stretch myself like I’ve seen in the YouTube videos:. “You’re sure? Where are you? Are you alone? How far apart are they?” She questions

Usually I’d laugh at her curiosity but I’m so close to a contraction and I’m saving all my energy to push. But before I can even answer, I let out a loud, earthy roar “nnnngaaaahhh!” I cry, breathlessly searching for words once I stop. “Okay, okay you’re pushing, Lena, tell me where you are” she demands. “T-traffic” is all I can muster. “Okay, Lena listen to me, make it easier on your self and squat the best you can, get in the back if you have to” she tells me and I look around “I can’t move” I shake my head and she assures me “I know it feels like that, but as long as baby’s head is still up inside you, yes you can” she says calmly.

I don’t know how I do it, but I look around and pull myself into the back of my car, using the two headrests to hold onto. I’m sweating, I’m hot, I’m exhausted, I’m so exhausted. “Mom, mom help Me” I beg. “I will, just, let me help you yeah, I need you to check yourself, make sure its safe for you to push” she says calmly and I nod, feeling around “I’m ready, baby is low, I’m ready” I assure her. “Okay, squatting will do some of the work for you, just stay where you are and when a contraction comes, dig deep and let it out” she says softly.

Everyone is going past at this point, glaring in, some people even pointing as I scream my way through trying to birth my baby. An hour of pushing goes by and I can tell my mom is getting stressed at this point, not even a head, nothing. “Okay, Lena, you need someone else to help you, get out of the car or flag someone down” she demands and I cry, wiping my tears and rubbing my eyes “I can’t”. “Yes you can, of course you can, just wave for help” she says softly. I listen, she’s my mom, of course I listen. I wave my hand out of the car door, just trying to get some help. My knees and back are so sore from squatting. “Please?!” I cry out in pain.

Until someone stops, a Middle Aged man in a small RV. “Oh my..” he mutters “okay, let’s get you on the bed” he says as he opens his van and scoops me up in his arms. Once I get in there, his whole family are sat around, his wife, two teens a kid and a baby. It settles me because they’ve clearly done this before. “Okay, honey, you take one leg and you take the other” the Mom demands of the twins. I just submit to it all, letting them pull my legs apart on this tiny bed. “Okay, this is a big head” the mom laughs as she kneels down and I feel the Dad hold me up from behind. I feel a contraction coming and I take a deep breath, pushing as hard as I can, gritting my teeth and my face turning red. “Good, good job, keep it coming momma” she says calmly as I feel her fingers stretch me out “pull, kids” she tells them as they tug my legs

“Mmm please I can’t take it, I can’t take it anymore!” I cry as I feel my body split in two. “I know but it’ll all be over soon, it will be so worth it I promise” she assures me and I nod, pressing my chin to my chest and bearing down hard. “Okay, okay, that’s it” she nods and then looks to her partner “up, she needs to be upright” she says softly and I feel him pull me up into a squatting position but the two boys, I can only guess around 18 or 19 are terrified, they keep my legs wide open, I barley have control of my body at this point as these three strange men hold me open.

All of a sudden I feel a shift inside me and it hurts, so freaking bad. “What happened?” I panic and the mom nods “baby’s ready for you” she smiles. I don’t take a second before I grit my teeth and push with all of my might, wriggling as the family hold my whole body, the poor fourteen year old girl just watches. “Oh, oh that’s it! That’s it!” The mom smiles massively as I feel myself stretch and a gush of fluids pour out of me. I reach down and cup the head immediately “no cord?” I check and she reassures me it’s okay.

“Last push now okay? Boys, really pull her legs open for me” she tells them and they nod, the guy to my right takes his hand and moves some hair from my face for me and tucks it behind my ear. “I’m Erik” he smiles and I nod “Lena” I whisper breathlessly. I take a small moment before they pull my legs and I scream, I howl and I groan trying to get the shoulders out and I just can’t. “Get her on her hands and knees” she demands and I’m there in a second. Erik comes to my face side and holds me “you’re doing so well” he whispers and I just wrap my arms around his neck before pushing, feeling like I’m tearing as I cry louder than I ever have into his neck “nnhaaaahhhhhhhhh!” I pour until I feel the baby slide out into her arms.

I frantically throw myself back and lift my leg up to take baby onto my chest, laying back and holding them as they cry the sweetest cry ever. “It’s a girl” she smiles and I laugh a little “Hi mommy’s girl” I whisper before kissing her head. “Thank you so much..” I sigh breathlessly and Erik looks to me “let’s get you checked out and seen to” he smiles. I nod and rub baby’s back as someone lifts my dress over my head so I can feed her. “So.. is there a Mr Lena?” Erik smiles with a twinkle in his eye

#childbirth #giving birth #birth #maiesiophilia #pregnancy

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de-profundis-ad-astra · 4 years ago

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One, Two Punch

Pairing: Ben Miller x Reader, kinda. Flirtationship more than a relationship Rating: Somewhere between T and M? Summary: After knowing Ben for barely two months, you’re invited to attend one of his fights. Length: ~2k words Warnings: Swearing, mentions of alcohol, vague descriptions of legally sanctioned violence, vague mentions of masturbation. Taglist: @firefeatherx @goldenhour-goldenboy @mandoplease @mylifeliterally @phoenixhalliwell @havenforafrazzledmind @living-reminder @beatriz-silva-00 @pascalz @worldominatorx @givemethatgold @agirllovespancakes @lilacyennefer @dignityneeded @veuliee @briskywalker @the-bird-suit @mapache-lector @skylyknightly (let me know if you want to be +/-) Note: For the anon from yesterday. If you see this, I love you and if you want me to keep posting old fics, please let me know.

The day you’re invited to watch one of Ben Miller’s fights, it feels like a rite of passage.

The boys go quiet when he drops the question. So quiet, in fact, you wonder if you mistook the invitation for a marriage proposal. Suddenly extremely interested in their respective drinks, they sneak glances in your direction in the moments following. Ben’s eyes, clear and bright and… have they always been that blue? They root you to the spot, pinning you without him needing to lift a finger.

“Sure,” you say, shrugging off the odd looks and your own uncertainty. “Sounds fun.”

The fight isn’t for another three weeks, but Will practically has to drag Ben out of the bar by the collar whilst claiming that prep starts now. Once the door is soundly closed behind the Millers, Santiago and Frankie take turns explaining that Ben has never invited anyone to his fights. Well, not for a while, at least. They run you through what you’re sure is an abbreviated version of their last experience with this.

Long story short: he invited one of his previous flings to a fight, she left before the match ended with nothing more than a text letting him know that she didn’t think it would work, and they never heard from her again.

You swipe a finger down the glass–it’s started sweating condensation since they started talking. You rub the moisture between your fingertips, then take a sip, welcoming the burn as the tequila warms its way down your throat. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because it’s a big deal,” Santiago says. “A big fucking deal.”

You get it, they’re more than friends to Ben. They’re his teammates, the people he trusts more than anyone in the world to watch his back. You suppose that’s precisely what they’re doing, now. You suspect that if you were to bail out like the previous girl did, they wouldn’t let you off so easy.

Not that you would. It’s just… a lot to take in.

“I get it,” you say with a smile. “I break his heart, you break my neck, right?”

Frankie lifts his glass in a toast. “I knew you were a fast learner.”

–

The following Tuesday evening finds you knocking on Ben’s door for your usual burger run. It’s probably too early to call it a tradition, but you’re relationship with Ben, thus far, is comprised primarily of spontaneous adventures such as this. Every Tuesday for the past three weeks you’ve gotten together to eat greasy foods and talk and laugh together. So it’s worth a shot, right?

Except when Will opens the door.

“Hey, Y/N,” he says cordially, if not a bit bewildered.

“Y/N!” you hear Ben’s unmistakable voice call from further within. “Come in!”

Will steps aside, vacating enough space for you to pass. You step over the threshold, your eyes immediately landing on the small dining table to your right. And the… grain bowl he’s eating?

“I see you’ve already got dinner taken care of,” you note with a small laugh. You’re more entertained by the sight than you are upset by the fact that burger night will have to wait.

Ben’s face falls, and his fork clatters to the table. “Shit,” he scrambles to pull his phone from his pocket. “Shit.” He unlocks it, hits a few buttons, then slides it back into his jeans.

A few seconds later, your own phone’s screen lights up with an unread text. You open it and read:

have 2 take a rain check on burgers 2nite. wills got me on this ‘clean eating’ diet before the fight.

You hold up the phone for him to see, “Got it.”

Ben says a bit sheepishly, “Forgot to send it. Selective memory. Sorry.”

As much as you want to be sad that your night out has been postponed, you’re more touched by the fact that of all the things on his mind, that was one of them.

“He needs to get into work mode,” Will fills the silence as Ben shovels a heap of quinoa and chicken into his mouth and makes a show of gagging on it. “Gotta keep him focused on eating better and training.”

You think about the pack of beers you’d bought and stored in your fridge. “I take it that means no alcohol, either.”

“Nope,” the brothers answer in unison–Ben with notably more disdain than Will.

“I was winning fights before you put me on this diet, you know,” Ben grumbles around his food.

“Doesn’t mean you still shouldn’t be taking care of yourself when your putting that much wear and tear on your body.” Will points at his younger brother. “Eat.”

“You’re worse than mom.”

“Eat.”

Ben groans and heaps some more food into his mouth. “I’m not worried,” he says half to himself.

You see it then. In his eyes, he’s focused and somewhere that isn’t quite here. You look at the hard lines around his mouth and suddenly wish you could take your thumb and run it across his lower lip, card your fingers through the unruly hair he dutifully keeps under the protection of his hat. One look at his face, and you know his mind has wandered somewhere similar.

Want, need, desire, call it what you will. All that and more churns in your gut.

Will clears his throat, pulling you two back from where you teeter on the edge of the gutter and back to the present. “We’ll worry about it when it’s time to worry about it. There’s nothing we can do right now except prepare. It’ll turn out how it turns out. And if Ben does what he’s supposed to, it’ll turn out well.”

“Win that fight, Benjamin,” you tease, turning back towards the door. “And we’ll get those burgers.”

You feel his eyes burning into your back long after the door shuts behind you.

–

You don’t feel ashamed of the moment you and Ben shared. That nagging in your chest is a far cry from shame. You’d outgrown that long ago. The look you’d shared, the thoughts you had and knew he had were mild in comparison to what you knew you wanted.

You knew the look in his eyes, that unspoken promise for something more–something you completely, unabashedly craved–and your carefully placed tethers would fray and fray and fray until there was nothing to hold you back. He didn’t need distractions right now, you wanted to respect that.

That didn’t make it any less miserable.

It only takes three days before it grows so unbearable that you take matters into your own hands.

Overheated and nearly frantic, you toss and turn in bed that night until your tank top and short clink and chafe against your slightly sweaty body. You try counting the minutes until sleep takes you. But minutes turn to hours with no sign of relief.

Need crawls over you, slithering under your skin. It doesn’t take much to imagine his face, that it’s his hands on your skin, inside–

But that release only leaves you hollow–unsatisfied.

You make a point to keep your distance for the remainder of that week. Until the day of the fight, actually. By then, the tether is pulled so tight that you fear it might snap at one wrong move.

Later, you remind yourself. That unfinished business will come later.

–

The air is thick with the mingled scents of liquor, body odor, and several variants of cheap cologne. And it’s so hot. People move around you in groups, and the floor beneath your feet is sticky from some spilled drink that hadn’t been properly cleaned. The heavy beat of a rock song slam against your chest, and as you look around you think you see more tattoos than skin, more leather than jeans, and more filled cups than empty hands.

You’re not scared. Far from it, actually. The energy of the crowd feeds your own, the music heightening your excitement as you follow Frankie and Santiago through the crowd and squeeze yourselves into an open spot right in front of the cage. One of them, you can’t tell who, shoves a drink into your hand and tells you its on them.

You hold the beverage, but don’t partake as the referee begins to announce the next fighter. The first thing you see is a flash of red shorts.

Perhaps it’s for show, watching Ben make his way from the door to the cage, swaying his shoulders with each step, his eyes locked on it and nothing else as heavy metal blasts around you. You don’t exist to him. Not right now. Regardless, heat pools in your stomach.

He takes is sweet time peeling off his shirt and stretching his shoulders. He turns away from you so Will can help him into his gloves, allowing you a full view of that gloriously muscled back. You admire each line of muscle, each movement he makes as he turns and enters the ring. To hell with all the people around you. You want that. You want that over you, under you, all around you. You could touch him everywhere at once and it still wouldn’t be enough to satisfy you–

His eyes find you in the crowd, and he winks.

If it was socially acceptable to swoon, you might have.

Maybe you did, anyway.

–

The fight itself doesn’t last long. At one point you set your untouched drink down, then promptly kick it over when you leap to your feet to cheer.

Even then, you can’t help but clinch every time someone lands a hit, skin reddening and bruising, breathing labored and shallow until a hand is being lifted in the air in victory. It’s Ben’s.

–

You wait outside the lockers with the guys. Santiago is weaving a tale from his days in Brazil that you’re only half paying attention to. You remain standing off to the side, sipping a lukewarm water, watching.

It takes a while for Ben to come out. The blood has been cleaned from his face and, remarkably, the only lasting mark is a purple-blue bruise above his cheekbone. But he’s grinning ear to ear, and he pulls first Santiago, then Frankie into a bear of a hug. You see his face over their shoulders, how hie eyes still veritably glow with the same energy you’d seen in the ring.

You push yourself from the wall you’re leaning against, and step up to them. Ben’s eyes meet yours as if by gravitational pull.

You’d felt drawn to him since the day you’d met. But this is like meeting him for the first time. A dim hallway. The crowd slowly draining out from the gymnasium. You, holding a cup of piss-poor excuse for water, and him.

The boys quietly let Ben know that they’ll catch up with him later, and melt into the meandering crowd.

The shift in his expression makes it achingly clear what Ben wants. His gaze lingers, now. His shoulders seem broader as he steps towards you, his gym bag over one shoulder, his other arm extended for you.

“Let’s go.” His voice is different in the aftermath of the fight. You can see the adrenaline still pumping in the way his eyes lock on you.

You find your way to his body, and let him guide you outside. His hand sneaks around your waist and under your shirt, his fingers digging into the skin above your hipbone. He guides your steps with a fierceness, and as soon as you make it back to his car, his hand wanders lower, lower.

He tosses his bag into his car, refusing to let you go. Another swift motion has you pinned between the heat of his body and the side of the car.

He’s in front of you, caging you in, his fingers lingering at the waistband of your leggings, his shirt damp from the shower he just took, hair dangling over his forehead. You clamp your hands down on his biceps, digging your fingers into skin and muscle and him.

You barely have time to register it all before his lips crash into yours, and the empire of your longing comes crashing down.

Yes, you could stand to be with this for a little longer.

#triple frontier #triple frontier fanfiction #ben miller #benny miller #ben miller x reader #garrett hedlund #garrett hedlund fanfiction

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ghoulciifer · 4 years ago

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submission:

@sanemisthiccbih: “HI BABYYYY, ILYSMMM!! Congratulations on 100!!!🍾 I would like a matchup please for BNHA please! Ok soooo, I’m 5’2, kinda chubby (thicc thigh gang) , tanned, have glasses and a very round face! Also bangs and brown hair .3. Unfortunately, i have a mom/soft girl aesthetic even though i want to have e-girl aesthetic low-key. I like to draw, play t-bone, pamper my dog and bake. I blame my chunkyness on the fact that I LOVE to try new/exotic foods (even though I CANNOT cook). I LOVE trying new/weird foods. I also like being adventurous like going on hikes, checking out whats in my forest, and roller coasters (or any thrill rides, I will live at a theme park or fair tbh). Honestly let me live at the fair and I’d be happy. Um... im always told im too kind to everyone I meet. I just want someone kind (towards me at least) tbh (for this matchup a guy please!). I want that come up from behind and hug you then do that awkward big man waddle love ya know?”

notes: ali, the light of my life, i really appreciate you and your never ending support 🥺 it means the world to me, and i hope you like your matchup! i was nervous af writing this but i really think you and tama would suit each other! thank you for entering, sweet cheeks ❥ drabble under the cut because it is NSFW!

why i matched you:

» you’re sweetheart personality and your caring nature are really what attracts tamaki to you the most, aside from the fact that you’re as cute as a button. as shy and timid as he is, tamaki amajiki is naturally drawn toward those who present themselves with a bubbly, loveable aura and that’s you! he can tell there’s not an ounce of fake energy coming from you, so when he determines that you are genuinely kind and interested in building a relationship with him? you’ve got him melting in the palm of your hand.

» due to his quirk, tamaki is constantly experimenting with different recipes to incorporate his most important food groups into his meals. and who better to share those exotic dishes than with you! your love of trying new things and breaking new recipes down really help ease his nerves when it comes to cooking, because let’s be honest, cooking isn’t as easy as those youtube channels make it out to be. you’re a great seus chef and he’s always having fun chopping, baking, or grilling his love into every meal he makes with you. plus, food fights? that’s the only fight he wants to have with you!

» tamaki loves how creative and adventurous you are, you’re exactly the kind of influence he needs in his life to push him out of his comfort zone every once in a while. sometimes all he needs is that extra little push to make him do something he usually ends up enjoying. however, he respects your ability to determine when he’s at his limit with new experiences, and showers you with hugs n’ kisses when you assure him he’s doing a-okay and you’re proud of him. the affection isn’t one sided, though! he loves praises you through blushing babbles of how strong and beautiful you are, and only wants you to feel the way you make him feel at all times. and boy, is he doing a great job.

» consequentially, tamaki never fails to be at your side when you’re feeling at your lowest. he hates seeing someone so worthy of happiness feel like they deserve anything but, so what does he do? he ignores his naturally timid defenses and comforting you quickly becomes second nature to him. he’ll cup your lil’ cheeks and kiss your tears away, taking all the insecurities seeping from your soul with every sweet word that comes from his lips. he knows times like these sometimes call for a night in, cuddled together under a huge pile of blankets and stuffed animals he’s gotten you over the years, a gentle reminder of how beautiful he thinks you are whispered between kisses. what a sweetheart!

» tamaki’s friends are incredibly surprised with how calm and collected he is around you, sometimes. sure, it’s easy to make him flustered sometimes, but you really ground him and remind him there’s no need to be anxious 24/7! baby boy just needs validation, and that’s constantly reciprocated between the two of you, so there’s never a doubt in his mind that he can’t be himself around you.

» of course, tamaki’s going to be a flushed mess when it comes to affection, but nothing makes him feel more loved than when your arms are wrapped around him from behind and you waddle your way to wherever it is you’re taking him. his favorite things to do are intertwining his fingers with yours, a thumb rubbing your knuckles softly, resting his head on your shoulder and peppery little butterfly kisses here and there, or even pulling a page from your book and wrapping his arms around you from behind with his chin buried in your hair. almost always leads to the both of you blushing furiously but, it’s worth it.

drabble:

Lavender. Salt. Sex. These scents are what permeate the thin air of your shared bedroom with Tamaki, each one as intoxicating as the last as they invade your every sense. Slick sweat mixed with one another’s spending, short, panting breaths, your glistening chest rising and falling with each gasp and moan that slips past your parted lips; Tamaki loves watching this scene unfold from his position between your legs. Your boyfriend’s face is currently buried in your gushing cunt with a gentle yet firm grasp on your hips to keep you still, relishing in the way your hips buck into his mouth with every swipe of his tongue over your abused clit.

You would think that as soft and gentle Tamaki is outside of the bedroom, he would be equally as fragile with you in between the sheets… but oh, what a misconception that was. If anything he was almost too generous.

“Tama-... baby, p-please, I can’t…” you whine through labored breaths, head thrown back into the mattress as your hands tangle themselves within his messy indigo locks. You felt so incredibly overstimulated, and your poor shaking legs would surely threaten to crush his head if it weren't for the way his large hands kept them pinned in the perfect position for him to devour you whole. Your soft pleas were barely above a whisper but you could tell they reached his pointed ears with the way his lips shifted into a smile against your glistening folds.

“Y/N, please, just let me give you one more? I want to make you feel good, bunny, you deserve it.” He presses a chaste kiss to the innermost part of your thigh, tongue slipping out to lap up what wetness was left there from his previous ministrations, “You’re so beautiful like this… I love you so much.” He says this with the most awestruck look in his azure irises, his smile looking almost too innocent had it not been for your cum making his chin shine beneath the lowlight of your bedroom, his cheek pressed into your leg as he pleads to you with looks alone.

Your own eyes instantly soften and you feel that familiar tug of your heartstrings, getting so lost in how sweet he looked in moments like this. How could you ever resist him when he adores you oh, so much?

You reach forward to brush your thumb against his cheekbone, trailing the digit downward to tug at his bottom lip. You then give him a silent “I love you, too” before laying back down against the sheets. His smile instantly grows.

And of course, it isn’t long before he’s got you writhing in pleasure, seeing stars, and chanting his name like it’s the only word you know.

deadline for matchups is (08/29/20)! be sure to submit your entry before this date and check the tag #tumplaysmatchmaker to stay updated!

#tumplaysmatchmaker #tamaki x reader #tamaki amajiki x reader #tamaki amajiki smut #bnha matchups #bnha smut #nishiikun’s events

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generalfoolish · 4 years ago

Text

Feel The Heat

Part Two: Something More

Pairing: Frankie Morales x OC Juniper Collins

Rating: 18+ (b/c minors shouldn't lurk, it is illegal and not polite.) But this is big fluff, just more exposition and pining and world building. I do curse, so there's that.

Word Count: 4k+

Summary: June and Frankie are big idiots, and they keep bumping into each other in the wildest of places. Again, and I can't overstate this: they’re both MASSIVE idiots.

A/N: Hey babes! This is going a little slower bc I want to give more with each update, I normally keep around 1K and these are little beasts. But I'm excited with the story, some threads are exposing themselves, and there will be more Frankie X OC time in the next part. For now, enjoy this little taste of yearning and pining and overthinking and general angst over meeting a cute new somebody. 💕

Masterlist | Part One | Part Three

June checked her phone as she stirred the pot, and groaned at the email count. More than half were parents who “couldn’t” make the conference, and the rest were from her principal wanting to reiterate the importance of those meetings. She dropped the phone back to the counter, and focused on her pot. She had googled what to do with Brandywines, and had decided on a slowly simmered tomato sauce. It paired beautifully with the fresh garlic and basil she had picked up, and the whole house smelled like an Italian restaurant.

This was her favorite way to use up produce in the summer. She spent hours simmering and canning, and got to enjoy the fruits of her labor in the dead of winter. She knew she could easily gift the sauce made from those beautiful tomatoes, and she had every intention of doing so.

Sundays passed so quickly, she hardly had time to dwell on the farmer, but when she caught a whiff of her stove she had to find something to do. She worked through the emails, sending reminders that the conferences were mandatory, and that if the parents couldn’t make it during the week before or after school, she was available to meet online. She fought the temptation to open her weekends. She was working on work boundaries with her therapist.

June had an easier time fighting off thoughts of the farmer as the day waned on, and she thought, foolishly, that she could just forget the brown eyed grump she had met.

Frankie was having a hard time focusing on anything. Liv was a bundle of energy, and he tried not to snap at her. He had her come help him in the garden, but he ended up sending her to dig for worms after she trampled another vine.

“Ew! Worms are gross.” She argued.

“I know, but didn’t you want to go fishing? Fish eat worms, it’s how we can get them out of the water.” He explained, carefully. She considered him, then bounded off, calling out to the worms. He chuckled watching her, and went back to pulling weeds. With a moment of quiet, his mind flitted back to the woman. He couldn’t help it. He had dreamt of her. She was lounging in the back of his mind, waiting for him to stumble into the memory. Liv was a good distraction, but she only held the woman at bay for so long. He grumbled and wiped his brow. He decided to give it up for now, the woman and the weeding.

“Princess, I think we have some hotdogs. Let’s try those.” He called over to Liv, who excitedly left behind her freshly dug hole.

“Daddy, Mrs. Becka wanted me to remind you about the school stuff.” Liv told him, grabbing his hand as they walked. He exhaled sharply. He had forgotten the meetings. He pulled his phone from his pocket and scrolled through Becka’s texts. She had sent him the teacher’s number at some point, he knew, the trouble was finding it. Finally, he clicked the blue hyper-linked number and called it. Liv ran inside ahead of him, looking for the hot dogs, and he waited at the door as the phone rang.

“Hello?” Ms. Collins answered breathlessly, and he cleared his throat.

“Ms. Collins? It’s Olivia Morales’ dad, calling about the meeting?” He heard something clatter on the other end. “Is now an okay time?”

“Yes, sorry, Mr. Morales, I was just...it doesn’t matter. My schedule is a little tight, when did you have in mind?”

“Something early, maybe before drop-off?”

“Sure, uhm, let me check my calendar,” She sounded distant, he thought, probably on speaker. “Yeah, Tuesday morning? I know that’s quick, it is all I have though.”

“Yeah, I can be there. Like 7am?”

“Yes, that’s great. See you then.” The line disconnected and he couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d heard her voice before. He rolled his eyes at himself, of course he had. She was his daughter’s teacher. As if on cue, Liv ran out with a hot dog. He smiled brightly and ruffled her hair.

“‘Kay, kiddo, let’s go catch some fish.” She grinned at him brightly, showing off the hole her first lost tooth had made. His heart caught as he realized she was growing up so fast.

“Monday’s really are the worst.” June laughed. She had her mom on the phone, connected through Bluetooth. “I’m just leaving the school now!”

“I just don’t see why you’re having to set these meetings up now. The kids have hardly been in school for a couple of weeks.” June sighed as she merged on the highway to head home.

“I know, it's just something my district does. The hard part is wrangling parents.”

“Well, if you had any children, you’d know how much they require of you.” June rolled her eyes and exhaled through her nose. Her mom was always quick to bring up her lack of a partner and children. Not that June didn’t want those things, they just haven't panned out for her yet.

“Yeah, Mom, I’m sure you’re right.” She acquiesced, knowing the argument wasn’t worth the effort.

“Have you met anyone? You’re only getting older, you know.”

“Thanks Mom. Uh, I have a date tomorrow night, actually.”

“Well, what’s his name, do I know him? What does he do for work?” June rolled her eyes, and wondered why she had answered the call.

“I don’t know anything about him. It’s a blind date.”

“Not even a name?” June bit her lip, debating telling her Mom the nickname.

“He’s ex-Army, goes by Fish. That’s all I know. Oh, and he’s single. A new teacher sat it up for me.” June explained, hoping her Mom wouldn’t have much to say.

“Fish? Oh, wow. Terrence really messed you up, huh.”

“I’m getting a call from a parent, I’ll talk to you later.” June lied, ending the call. Terrence had really messed her up. Not that that was of any importance to her dating life, or this blind date’s name. She sighed hard as she pulled into her driveway.

“Monday’s really are the worst.” She told the empty space of her car. She grabbed her bag and hurried inside. It had been a long day, and she was ready to polish off her bottle of wine from the night before. She walked in and let her bag drop to the floor, and crossed to the staircase. She groaned as she climbed the stairs. She was exhausted and still had a ton left to do.

June stripped quickly and threw on her yard work clothes. She stopped by the kitchen and poured some wine into a cup with a lid, before making her way outside. The day before she had started a small garden, and she was determined to make something grow out of it. She had no idea what she was doing, though. The wine wasn’t really helping either.

She had been short with a few parents while she was tending the fragile plants. It was a little late in the season to try and start anything, but she had picked up some discount plants that she wanted to help limp along for a little longer. She hoped she hadn’t put any of the parents off, and tried to remember who all had called.

June wiped her forehead with her gloved hand and tried to sort them out. Steven’s mom, Cynthia, was meeting her during lunch. That would be short, thankfully. Steven was a good kid, quiet. Graham and Ginger’s grandma was coming Wednesday afternoon, the parents were out of the country for something. Mia’s dad was going to call during the planning period. Ashley’s mom was coming Tuesday afternoon. And Olivia’s dad was coming Tuesday morning. June felt her shoulders sag, and she drained her wine. That wasn’t even half of the parents left.

She gave up on the garden and stalked inside. She wanted to scare up something for dinner, but didn’t really feel like making anything. She gave in and called the local Indian place. They knew her order, and said they’d be there soon. She grimaced, wondering how much money she had spent on Vindaloo over the years, and decided not to think about it. She had enough time to slip in the shower to wash the sweat off, before the delivery guy knocked on her door. She tipped him generously, and sat down on the couch.

June clicked the tv on and scrolled through her watch list. She settled on some mind-numbing detective show, and ate half of the curry. She put the rest away, and grabbed her bag by the door. The bag was a mess, but she managed to find her red pen and the papers that needed grading, and she settled back in.

Soon, the mindless task paired with a full stomach and the wine had her falling into a deep sleep.

Frankie was pissed. He was giving up the best time of the day for harvesting to meet with Liv’s teacher, and Ms. Collins couldn’t be bothered to show up. His thoughts went back to the phone call the day before, and he gritted his teeth as he realized she had put him off twice. Over something she had wanted to set up. He’d gotten the bundles of paper she had sent home on it. Yet, here he was, and she was nowhere to be found. He pulled his phone out, and considered punching in her number, but stopped himself.

Frankie had to exhale deeply four times before he could lay his phone down. He had gotten here a little early, and it was just now 7 am, and he didn’t have a set schedule. Liv was with Ashley, Becka had insisted on taking them to drop off so he could have plenty of time with Ms. Collins. Not that it mattered now, he thought, dryly. At ten past, he pulled his phone back out, and brought her name up. He was angry again, and had every intention of calling. But before he could press her name, the door swung open, and his heart dropped.

June woke with a start. The birds were singing outside, the light was all wrong, and she was on the couch. Shit, she thought, jumping up. Shit, shit, shit. She had overslept. She hurried up the stairs and threw on something presentable, and didn’t even check herself in the mirror. She could do her makeup in the class. She grabbed up the half graded papers and shoved them in her bag, and ran out the door. She dumped everything in the passenger seat and drove much faster than usual. She was about halfway to the school when she realized she was meeting a student’s parent this morning. She hadn’t had any coffee, and her brain was starting to slow down from the adrenaline of being late, and she could not remember who she was meeting. She parked, and popped her vanity mirror down and grimaced. She looked like she was having a bad morning. She decided to throw her hair up in a messy bun, and grabbed the mess up from her passenger seat.

She basically ran into the building, her flats ricocheting sound off the concrete walls. She swung her door open, apologies already falling from her lips, when she looked at the parent. The apologies died on her lips, and her mouth fell open.

“You?” She asked, dumbly. “Frankie?” He looked like he had seen a ghost, a bitchy ghost, she grimaced.

“You?” He stood now, and started to move to her.

“Uhm, you can’t be here. I’m meeting a student’s parent, and how’d you even know where to find me?” She started rambling, but when the words were out she realized how stupid they were. “Oh my god, you’re the parent?” She barked out a laugh, and dumped her bag on her desk. He grinned, and wiped the back of his neck.

“Liv’s dad. I’m Frankie Morales.” He told her, faltering from shaking her hand.

“Perfect. I’m Juniper Collins, you can call me June, or Ms. Collins, whatever you prefer. I’m sorry I’m late, I...I started a garden yesterday and wore myself out. That’s what I was doing when we spoke on the phone,” She told him, laughing. June had only tried gardening because she wanted a common foot with him. She didn’t want to tell him that yet, though. “Anyway, let’s get to Liv. Liv is a great girl, Mr. Morales.”

“Frankie.” He interrupted, with a small smile.

“Okay, Frankie. Look, Liv is great, she really is. She struggles in class sometimes, though. She is smart as hell, but she seems to struggle. I wanted to give you some information about ADD or ADHD. It presents differently in girls, and is often overlooked. I haven’t known her long, obviously, but I actually was diagnosed much later in life, and I remember doing some of the things she’s doing. Would you be interested in some info on that?” June asked carefully, their relationship was rocky and weird, and she didn’t want to overstep. This was her job, though. It was a little bit not her job, actually. But she always wanted to look out for her girls, especially when they were as smart and incredible as Liv.

“Oh, wow. I had no idea she was struggling.” Frankie muttered, and removed his cap. June sucked in a sharp breath at his light brown, bouncy curls as they spilled out. He was beautiful. She distracted herself by moving behind her desk and grabbing a folder she had laid out for Liv, for this exact reason, and she thanked her past self for being put together. Then she went and sat beside him at the small activity table. She felt comical sitting next to him in the small chairs, he was spilling over his own. She laid down the folder and put a hand on his arm.

“Look, it isn’t a struggle that she notices yet. It’s her recall, her attention span, and her ability to focus. That sounds like a lot, I know, but there’s a simple test, and there are effective alternatives to stimulants. I’m on one, and it really helped me. Life is only going to get harder for her, if she has it and it remains untreated, but she has no idea. She isn’t “different” yet, and she’s doing so, so well in class. She is a model student. I just want to help, that’s all.” She watched his face as she spoke, and by the end, he seemed defeated.

“I should have noticed. I’m her dad. I...I’ve been worried I’m not around enough, and now you drop this on me.” He laughed dryly. She patted his arm.

“Liv talks about you all the time. She loves you, Frankie. She tells us all the time about her pilot dad.” June said it before she had time to think, before she connected “Liv’s Dad” with Frankie, the man before her. And then, her big mouth spit out something she wanted to take back immediately. “But you’re a farmer, right?” He looked up into her eyes, and his face was hard.

“Anything else you wanted to tell me about Liv?” His words were right, but the tone was too harsh. June flinched back from him, and dropped her gaze from his suddenly hard face.

“Liv is a great girl. She’s great to have in class. I have nothing else for you.” June told him monotonically, going on autopilot so as not to cry. She had spent the whole weekend thinking about him, then she had planted a stupid garden to have more in common with him, and then fate brought them back together, and she screwed it up again. She decided it was done, then. Frankie Morales was not in the cards for her. Sure, she might see him again because she taught his daughter, but she was through thinking of him like that.

“Good. I have to get going, next time try to be on time.” He scolded, as he stood abruptly and left without another word. Slowly, June followed and shut the door behind him. Alone, at last, she started crying.

~~~

“Idiot. You fucking idiot.” Frankie berated himself in his truck. He couldn’t believe it when she swept into the room. He had found her. Not her, he thought with a grimace, Juniper. The name felt so appropriate. It was an old name, but it suited her so perfectly. He exhaled roughly and tried to rewrite the scene. She was looking out for Liv. She wanted Liv to be happy and succeed. This woman cared more about his daughter than Liv’s own mother. And as soon as she tried to get to know him, he bit her head off and made her feel bad for being late. Jesus, what a dick. He had found her, and in a single moment, he had managed to ruin it again.

He put the truck in drive and headed home. Nothing left to do here, he thought bitterly. He was pulling up the driveway when he remembered that she had started a garden. It wasn’t a coincidence, he realized. She had started a garden because of him. He parked the truck and laid his head against the steering wheel. He had pushed her away at every turn. The market, the bar, and now at the school. He had seen her face before he left, and knew it was done. He had pushed too far, too fast. Of course, she would want nothing more to do with him. He had done nothing but treat her like shit.

He got out of the truck and threw his hat. It didn’t do much except get his cap dirty, but it was all he could do. He pulled his phone out, and pulled her name up. He typed a long message, and erased it. Then he tried again, and erased it again. His pride was getting in the way. He couldn’t tell her about his piloting years. The army, spec ops, Colombia, the coke, or any of it. She could just hate him, and then he couldn’t hurt her anymore.

~~~~

June paced up and down her classroom. Her face was puffy, still, and she had been struggling to focus all day. She couldn’t meet anyone new for dinner; she wasn’t in the right headspace for a date. Let alone one where she would have to leave a lasting impression. She chewed her thumb nail before heading down the hall.

Samantha's classroom was pretty close to her own, and June was glad for it. If she had had to walk further she would have lost her nerve. June knocked tentatively on the door, before pulling it open. Samantha looked up and grinned.

"Hey girl! Are you excited for your big date tonight?" June’s own smile fell from her face.

"Actually, that's why I'm here. I want to cancel." Samantha's smile pulled down quickly.

"Why?"

"I'm having kind of a bad day for impressions," June told her flatly.

"Well, I couldn't if I wanted to. Santiago is out of town, no reception. I don't have the friend's number." June groaned.

"Okay, alright. Ugh, probably for the best. Do you know anything else about him? I’ve had kind of a rough day. You said, ex-military right?”

“Yeah, Santi doesn’t really talk about that time, and I haven’t pushed it. I met him a while back, Fish. He’s sweet. I think he’ll be your type. You like tan brunettes?” June nodded, laughing and thinking about Frankie Morales again.

“He’ll be perfect. Doesn’t say much and likes beer, that’s all I know.” Samantha gave a small shrug.

“Alright, thanks. I’ll let you finish eating.” June said, excusing herself.

She left feeling defeated. A parent was going to be late this afternoon, she had gotten the email after the Frankie disaster. Which meant that she was going to be late to dinner. She wasn't killing it in the men department so she hoped that despite a military background he wouldn't mind her tardiness. She couldn't handle another horrible scene like the one from this morning.

The rest of the day was uneventful, which she was glad for. Her nerves were on the edge. She tried to ignore how much Liv favored her dad, and how she loudly told the class about their upcoming camping trip. She found herself listening intently, despite herself. And even chuckled at the girl’s memories of the last trip. June’s mood improved with the day, too. She even played a little music in the background while the kids worked on their worksheets.

By the time she had hauled herself into her car, the last thing she wanted to do was go to dinner. But she swiped on her favorite lipstick and drove to the restaurant. If she broke the speed limit, she would only be about five minutes late, and she pushed it. She wanted to drink some wine, and forget about Frankie Morales. Another tan brunette in her life would do her good, she thought happily. She was tired, but she wanted to make the most of it.

---

Frankie was looking back and forth between the menu and his watch. He couldn't believe that another woman was about to be late on him. He was trying hard to get June out of his mind, and his blind date wasn't making it easy on him. He chuckled when he realized what he was doing. Just meeting a total stranger for dinner. He didn't have much choice in the matter, he thought, remembering how Pope had basically told him where and when, without asking if Frankie was even interested.

She had good taste, he conceded. This was his favorite spot. They made amazing, fresh pasta. He was eyeing the cocktail menu, when she rushed in. He couldn't believe he was running into her again.

It was June, because of course it was. She was flushed, probably late again, he huffed, but she had put on a bright red lipstick that made his heart stutter. He lowered his gaze back to the menu. He hoped she wouldn't see him out on a date, even if he saw her. The hope was short lived because she made her way to him, her eyes glinting with an emotion he couldn't place, and she exhaled deeply.

"Let me guess, your call sign is Fish, right?" His eyes snapped to hers and she laughed while nodding. It was her. He had found her again. The waiter walked over and she told him to bring a bottle of red, and a beer for him. He told the waiter his brand, and raked his eyes over her.

"Sorry I'm late, I had a crazy day." She mused once she had taken two deep sips of her wine.

"Yeah? What is it you do?" He asked, hoping beyond hope that this was their start over. Their fourth, or so, start over.

"Teacher. Yeah, I teach. Most days it's easy, but some days there are parents." She told him, her cheeks flushed.

"Hopefully, no jerks?" He asked, quickly taking a sip of his beer. She held her head to the side before she sighed.

"I don't know what's going on here, Frankie. It's kind of exhausting. I think you're pretty handsome, you grow amazing food, you have a beautiful daughter, but I think we just keep messing up. How about, just for now, we enjoy this meal and the company, and tomorrow we can talk about what it means that we can't keep away from each other?" He searched her eyes. She was tired, he could tell, but she was so sincere. He wanted desperately to know why she sat down instead of just leaving. He wanted to know why they were seemingly so connected. He wanted to know if he'd been on her mind too.

"I'm thinking the carbonara." He answered, and she smiled before looking the menu over herself. The rest could wait. He had found her again.”

#frankie morales #frankie catfish morales #Frankie Morales x oc #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfiction #original character #feel the heat #juniper collins #pedro pascal characters #Pedro pascal

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hixorkicks · 4 years ago

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What’s your ideal birth?

I’ve actually thought about writing out my ideal birth fantasy just so people can hop in my shoes for a little bit. But assuming I’m the one giving birth, here it is:

I’m at home, married, big and overdue. Not absurdly so, but enough that I’m starting to feel like everything is a sign of labor starting. Just one baby, any gender, somewhere in the realm of 9 to 10 pounds. I’m pretty much only ever in the bedroom, bathroom, or kitchen, cause all of my energy is going towards being pregnant.

I’m only a little hopeful when contractions start, because I’ve been having “practice” ones pretty much every day. I grab some pillows and massage tools and just try to sleep it off.

I manage to sleep for a little while before I need to go to the bathroom. My water breaks while I’m in there, and at first I’m not even sure that’s what happened but my husband comes in and confirms. He’s calling the midwife while I shower and clean up.

If none of my friends live nearby, then I would get online and tell everyone what was going on. Sometimes just talking about pain makes it feel better and I know people in this community would get particularly excited. We’re definitely planning to film it, even though its just going to be us and the midwife in the house. No livestream, though, just liveblogging and a recording that may or may not be shared.

I’d probably be okay to move around while it’s still early. Maybe not walking, but I’d absolutely do yoga-- probably wouldn’t even have to take a class on it, since I do that to deal with pain anyway. My husband would be there to help me if I need it, and aside from necessary or requested check-ups the midwife would just be there to watch and prepare.

Once things started picking up I’d want to be stationary, probably on a ball or something while leaning forward onto my husband or a chair. I already know that I’d be super vocal; I’ve got no qualms about making some noise once people give the okay. I feel like I’d sing through contractions, cause I’ve had some pain recently that I found myself improvising songs through instead of just regular “oooohs” or “aaaahs”. 5 years of choral training can really pay off babey. Don’t gotta worry about me not breathing deeply.

I’m not sure how long I’d want to be in labor for. I honestly think I’d be okay with 12-18 hours, ideally? Not like 72 hours or something absurdly long but also long enough that I have time to adjust to it. Again, I’ve had 24+ hours worth of awful pain before, so I should be okay tolerating an almost day-long labor.

When it comes time to push, I get in the water. Whether its a birthing tub or a kiddie pool or a bathtub doesn’t matter, just as long as its warm and big enough for me to spread my legs as wide as I need to.

I want the midwife to be the one to “catch”, just for safety’s sake, but unless there’s an issue I want to be the one directing my own pushing. I know my body and I know what not to do, and even though there are other people there I don’t want to rely on anyone but myself to bring this baby into the world.

100% I’m going to be a screamer once the head starts crowning, but again, they’re going to be some of the healthiest screams you’ve ever heard. Some part of me is going to be in love with my own pain, but I don’t want to push for much longer than an hour. Again, a happy medium. I may be obsessed with the thought of needing to push but not being able to, but in my ideal birth scenario that’s not welcome. I push when my body says to push, and breathe when my body says to breathe.

My baby’s born into the water, into the hands of a caring midwife, and even though shes the one who caught them I want to be the one to lift them out of the water. I’m probably going to immediately dissociate because holy shit, that’s my baby, but I also will feel more like a mom than I ever had before.

It wouldn’t take me very long at all to know that I’d want to do it again.

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kpoptrashibnida · 4 years ago

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Enough Pt. 16

A/N: Hello everyone! I am so thankful for all of your support and patience with my update. I hope this chapter doesn’t feel rushed, but I really wanted to put it out. I will say, I am pretty happy with it and I hope you all feel the same way. As always, I appreciate feedback and criticism. Happy Reading!

“Is everything alright?” Sehun asks, noticing that Chanyeol has been oddly quiet.

“Yeah.” Chanyeol sighs, brushing his hands against his face. “I’m just tired.” He lets out, leaning back on his chair.

“Are you having troubles with noona?” Sehun questions, dreading the answer.

Sehun was happy for his friend because he knew he cared about you and he was happier lately than he had been in a long time. But also as your friend… well, he was worried about you if he was being honest. Chanyeol was like a brother to him but Sehun was well aware of his flaws, he just hoped that Chanyeol would not hurt you again.

“No, we aren’t having any troubles.” Chanyeol says, “but I have been having some… trouble.” Chanyeol sighs, confusing Sehun even further.

“What do you mean? Like, with work? I can cancel some of your less important meetings if you’d like me to.” Sehun takes out his iPad and brings up Chanyeol’s schedule.

“No, it’s not work. It’s… it’s her.” He finally admits, referring to you and Sehun caught on.

“What’s the matter with her?” He questions, really hoping Chanyeol didn’t screw things up already. You had been dating for a couple of weeks and if Chanyeol already messed things up, then he deserved to die alone.

“Things have been fun and light-hearted. Which is great. But, when she agreed to date me, she put one condition.” He explains, looking at Sehun to see if he was following along.

“What condition?” Sehun asks, slowly losing his patience with Chanyeol.

“Her condition was to not sleep together until further notice. She wants to take things slow.” Chanyeol exhales, glad to finally talk to someone about this.

“Is that a bad thing, or something?” Sehun doesn’t understand why it seems like such a big deal. It sounds pretty reasonable to him, especially given their past relationship.

“I mean, no. I understand where she is coming from. But at the same time, I am a man with needs and after a while, my hands don't really do the job.” He reasons, making Sehun roll his eyes.

“Dude, grow up. If this is the only condition she gave you, consider yourself lucky and wait it out. I’m sure it’ll be worth it once she is ready.” Sehun tried to reason with Chanyeol. He can’t ignore the uneasy feeling in his stomach, but he pushes it down and prays that his friend is not going to mess up. But even more so, he doesn’t want you to get hurt again.

_______________________

“Good job this week, I am extremely impressed with all the work you have accomplished.” Namjoon compliments as the both of you exit the conference room. You had just finished another project and the investors were very happy. Which of course, made you happy because this meant that at the end of the year, your bonus was going to be nice and fat.

“Thank you Mr. Kim, it was also thanks to my great team.” You say with a smile, knowing that you would not have been able to finish as fast as you did if it wasn’t because your team was made of rockstars.

“Always so modest, I like that about you. Well, I’ll let you go now, I have a few conference calls I need to take in my office.” Namjoon says, nodding goodbye.

“Make sure you make time to eat.” You call behind him, smiling at the dismissive wave he gives you.

With your extensive work history together, Namjoon and you have created more of a friendship as well and Namjoon hates it when you mother him.

You wouldn’t have to do that if he wasn’t such a workaholic, putting work before even the most basic of needs like eating or a bathroom break. It did explain his great success, however; what good is it for him to be so successful if he never gives himself time to enjoy the fruits of his labor?

Maybe you can convince Jungkook to force him out for a night or unwinding and getting wild, for once in his life.

“Hey noona, congratulations! I heard that the investors were very happy with your latest project.” Jungkook says, entering your office and giving you a cup of coffee.

“Thanks Kookie. It was all thanks to the hard work of my team, but I am glad they liked it and I am glad it’s over.” You sigh as you take a sip of the coffee Jungkook gave you, needing it like an extra lifeline.

“We should celebrate! We should go get some drinks tonight.” He offers excitedly, wanting to hang out with you again.

“I’d love to, but I already have plans with my best friend tonight.” You say, hating that you have to decline. Jungkook is a lot of fun to go out drinking with.

“Aww man. Alright, well another time. Have fun noona!” He waves as he exits your office. Boy did he have a lot of energy, you don’t know where he gets it from.

Taking one last sip of your coffee, you log in to your computer and sigh at all the new emails you have to answer. You should have drunk your coffee slower because now you were going to need all the energy in the world to get through all these emails.

___________________________

“Come on girl, I am going to need more enthusiasm from your part! I finally have a day off from being a mom and you are not matching my energy! You are not passing the vibe check!” Mina whines, she was barely one drink in and she was already getting messy.

“Okay I’m sorry! I just had a long day at work but I am trying to match your level! Why do you have to be such a crazy bitch?” You complain, downing the rest of your beer.

“It’s my charm and you know it.” Mina giggles, ordering some shots from the bartender.

“You are not wrong. You’re hot and you’re bitchy, the perfect combo.” You tease, expertly dodging her fists as you grabbed the shot glass and downing the amber liquid.

“So, how have things been going with Chanyeol?” Mina changes the subject, catching you off guard with her question. You knew it was going to come sooner or later and you are actually surprised that she waited this long to ask.

“Things are fine. We are taking it slow.” You say, not really in the mood to talk about your relationship.

“Slow? What is that supposed to mean?” She asks quizzically, downing her shot like a pro.

“Well, we don’t know much about each other, so we are working on that. And we are also not having sex until further notice.” You say, downing the other shot that seemed to magically appear.

“Shut the fuck up! Are you serious? Did you come up with that rule?” Mina cannot believe the words that she is hearing.

“I did, I told Chanyeol that if we were going to make this work, we had to wait because I didn’t want to be just a physical relationship again.” You explain, trying to catch the bartender's attention so you could order a cocktail.

“Wow. And he agreed?” She asks in disbelief. As long as she knew Chahnyeol, he has always been a notorious play boy and the fact that he was willing to wait to have sex was very unlike him. You nodded as you sipped from your cocktail, amused at her bewildered expression.

“Wow. Well that makes me feel a little better. If he is waiting to have sex with you then he must really like you.” She sighs, still processing the information.

“I guess so.” You agree, finishing your drink. “Okay enough of that, let’s go dance!” You cheer, dragging Mina out to the dance floor so you can enjoy your girls night.

_____________________

Yeol: Hey, want to get some lunch?

You smile at Chanyeol’s message, amused at the fact that he knew your lunch time. He texted you right on time because your stomach had just started growling. You were stuck on a video conference call all morning and you were famished. Since it was on video, you could not sneak any snacks and that ruined your mood. Thankfully it seems like your giant boyfriend was coming to your rescue.

Me: Yes! I am so hungry. How soon can you meet?

You furrow your eyebrows when you see that he left you on read and did not answer. You were really hungry and you did not want to wait for him to get here if he was going to take too long. You got horrible headaches when you went too long without eating and you did not want to get to that point. You heard murmuring near the lobby and wondered what was going on.

“Oh my god, is that him?”

“What is he doing here?”

“Is he collaborating with the company again?”

“Oh my gosh, he's so handsome!”

“Do you think he would be willing to take a photo with me??”

You were confused as to what people were getting excited about until you saw a familiar towering figure standing near the entrance of the building, looking very distinguished.

“Hey! I was hoping to surprise you!” Chanyeol waves at you once you are in his line of sight.

“You succeeded!” You smile, happy that you didn't have to wait long to eat.

“What are you feeling like today?” He asks, casually draping an arm around your shoulders and bringing you closer against his body.

You ignore the whispers that break out and some glares from some of the female staff present, no longer being able to hide the fact that you were dating Chanyeol. Or, Loey, as most people know him by.

“I really want ribs.” You say shyly, making Chanyeol laugh.

“I love your appetite.” He teases, a small blush gracing your cheeks.

“Shut up.” You playfully bump your hip against his, enjoying the walk from your building to the restaurant.

“So, I have a question.” Chanyeol says after you had ordered your food, gaining your attention immediately.

“What is it?” You ask uncertainly, not knowing what he could possibly want to ask you.

“So the Asian Music Awards are this Sunday and I wanted to know if you’d like to come as my plus one?” He asks, hoping you would say yes. “I am nominated for a few categories and I’d love it if you come.” He adds, not wanting to pressure you but really hoping you’ll agree.

You think it over for a few seconds but cave when you see his big puppy eyes, feeling like you’d kick a puppy if you were to say no.

“Of course I’ll go with you. I am so happy for you.” You smile, genuinely meaning it when you said you were happy for him. Being nominated so soon after being a producer is such a big accomplishment and you want to be there for him.

“Thank you so much! I want you by my side whether I win or not.” He smiles, happily digging into the food that was just brought over to the table.

You joined him in eating the delicious ribs as he told you about his nominations and what he was working on, excited to be sharing everything with you.

__________________

“Noona, I can't believe you are dating Loey and didn’t tell me! He has made some awesome songs!” Jungkook says excitedly, distracting you from your work as he kept asking questions about Chanyeol.

“Yes, well I don’t feel like I need to broadcast my personal life.” You mutter, really trying to concentrate on the work in front of you.

“ I know that, but you could have told me! I am a huge fan!” Jungkook is very excited about the possibility of meeting his favorite composer because his noona is dating him.

“Jungkook, you are so weird. Usually it’s the artists that people are obsessed with, not the composers.” You say, not understanding this boy at all.

“Well yes, agreed. But without great composers, there wouldn’t be great artists.” He explains simply, making a good point.

“Can’t argue with that.” You agree, giving your attention to your work once again.

“I’m so jealous you get to go to the award show with him this weekend. You know, if you can’t make it, let him know i’ll gladly be his plus one.” Jungkook offers, making you laugh.

“That’s creepy Kookie. And I have loads of work to do, so if you could leave my office, that would be great.” You say sweetly, making him roll his eyes and mutter about how you no longer have time for him.

You laugh to yourself, amused by his fan boy tendencies. Before you could get distracted even further, you concentrated on your work so you could finish soon and start your prepping for the award show.

“So, like, you are going to re wear that dress?” Mina asks, appalled that you are going to be an outfit repeater at such an important event.

“Mina, I wore that dress in the states, not in Korea. Different countries and different types of events. It’s fine.” You argue, picking out the color for your mani-pedi.

“Yeah, I get it and that dress is gorgeous. But you should wear something else.” She insists, much to your annoyance.

“Well the award show is tomorrow and after this and the spa I am not going to have time to go dress shopping.” You say, hoping she gets the point.

“Well, I do have this gorgeous black dress that I impulse bought before I had Minjun and have not had the chance to wear it. After the spa, check it out and see if you like it. If you do, take it and use it. If you don’t re-wear the blue dress.” She suggests.

“Okay fine.” You agree, her idea not sounding too bad.

After the spa, you went over to Mina’s house to try on the black dress she insisted you try on. You were not complaining because it was a good opportunity to see Minjun and shower him in kisses, which always ended up with him getting a little fussy. Suho pried his son out of your hold and pacified him with a bottle, throwing a mock glare your way. You snickered and let yourself be dragged by Mina so you could go to her closet and see the dress she was talking about.

“Okay, come out! I want to see how totally awesome you look in the dress!” She urged oin a sing-song voice.

You stepped out of her closet and did a small twirl, laughing at the surprised gasp that escaped her lips.

“Oh my gosh! You look amazing! I cannot believe how great you look in this dress! Okay, I don’t care what you think, you have to wear this dress to the award show.” Mina insisted, loving the way you look in the dress.

“You know, you were right about this dress. It’s amazing. I just feel weird wearing it before you ever did.” You say, examining the dress up close in the mirror.

“Don’t worry about it. It might not fit me for a while anyway. I need to lose a bit more baby weight before I can fit into it.” She explains.

“Oh shut up. You look amazing.” You scoff, not believing the words you were hearing. Mina looked incredible, no one would believe her if she told them she had a baby.

Once you were back home you plopped down on your bed and sighed deeply. The week had been long and your preparations to be Chanyeol’s plus one to the awards show were exhausting. You were glad to finally be home and enveloped in your cozy bed. Tomorrow was a big day for Chanyeol and you wanted to look good. It was a very public event and it could also bring in a lot of good publicity to the company. You got ready for bed, deciding that getting all the possible beauty sleep possible so you look good tomorrow.

____________________________

“Are you nervous?” Chanyeol asks, holding your hand in the back of the town car. He had picked you up to go to the awards show together. His company set him up with a town car and driver for the night so the two of you were more than ready to party.

“A little. I’ve been to big events before obviously. But tonight it’s about you and I am nervous for you. I hope you win.” You say with a smile. You squeeze his hand in yours and rest your head against his shoulder, enjoying the comfortable car ride.

Walking the red carpet next to Chanyeol, or, Loey was very exhilarating and exciting. It was all fast paced, flashing lights everywhere. Smiles and poses every five steps as more news reporters and media personnel took the photos and screamed Loey’s name. Asking him about his nomination and asking about the woman next to him. It was a little overwhelming for you but you were pleasantly surprised to see how well Chanyeol was handling it all, he did not seem phased at all. It was a breath of fresh air to see him in control and in his element.

Once inside the venue you were ushered by an employee to your designated seats. You were surrounded by a lot of celebrities and talented people, it was a little intimidating. But tonight was not about you, it was about Chanyeol and you were going to be there for him and be his supportive plus one. The award show was about to begin and you sat excitedly next to him, really hoping he wins.

After the award show there was a huge after party for all the nominee’s and Chanyeol wanted to make an appearance for at least a couple of hours. He was riding high because he won the award for Best Song and Best Producer of the Year. They were great awards and it was amazing that a new producer like Chanyeol was able to win them. You were extremely happy and proud of him and you were ready to enjoy rubbing elbows with celebrities.

Chanyeol was introducing you to some artists he has worked with and you were trying not to be starstruck by everyone you were meeting. Seeing Chanyeol own the room in his post-win glow was very exciting and it was making you feel a certain way. Perhaps tonight was going to be the night that you put an end to your no-sex condition. Chanyeol has been able to respect it just fine and he seems to really have changed. You were just trying to protect yourself from getting hurt again, but it seems like you no longer need to worry about that.

“Loey! Hi!” Ara exclaimed excitedly as she came up to the two of you.

“Ara, hey.” Chanyeol smiled as he greeted her.

“Congratulations on winning tonight! You totally deserve it.” She said and then she noticed your presence. “Oh! I’m so sorry! I’m just yapping away and I haven’t greeted you, that is very disrespectful of me!” Ara apologizes and bows to you, making you a little uncomfortable.

“Oh it’s okay Miss Ara, no need to bow or apologize.” You say, giving her a small smile.

“Well I’m pretty sure part of the reason both Chanyeol and I won awards tonight is thanks to your expertise! I’ve gotten a lot more work since the gala from your company.” She smiles, giving you a small squeeze on your arm.

“Well, you are very talented so I’m sure you would have gotten there anyway.” You smile, happy to see that great talent is getting recognized.

“Well, I better go and mingle. My manager wants me to get connections.” She says with an eye roll. “Have a great night you two.” She leaves with a wink, making both you and Chanyeol laugh.

“She’s so sweet.” You comment, giving your attention back to Chanyeol.

“She is. She’s like the little sister I never had.” He muses, a soft smile gracing his lips.

“Aw, that’s cute.” You tease, thinking it was adorable he was looking out for other rookie artists.

“Hey, so there’s something I want to talk to you about.’ He says, making you arch your eyebrow. He sounded quite serious, which was unusual for him.

“What is it?” You ask, letting Chanyeol guide you back to your table and sit down.

“So just before I picked you up tonight my manager called. You remember I told you about a new artist I’m helping out?” He asks.

“Oh yeah! The Korean-Japanese girl… umm… Arisa, right?” You say, remembering the conversation you had a while ago.

“Yes, her. Well we already recorded her whole album and I recorded two songs with her. They are releasing her album tomorrow.” He explains.

You nod, not really knowing where he is going with this. That’s great. I’m sure she is going to do great with sales.” You say enthusiastically.

“Well, the thing is, she has already created a great response and they decided to have a tour and they want me to join them to help oversee and to perform with her on the songs we collaborated.” Chanyeol explained.

“Well that’s amazing! It’s a great opportunity for the both of you!” You say, genuinely happy for him.

“Yes, well you see, her label wants her to start her tour in Japan and then come to Korea.” He further explains. Now you understand where he was going with this.

“I see. Well how long will you be in Japan?” You ask.

“About two weeks. She is doing two concerts in Tokyo, one in Osaka, one in Kobe and Sapporo.” He says, hoping you won't be upset.

“Oh wow. Busy schedule. Well, it’s part of the job, right? When do you leave?” You ask, a little disappointed to hear he was going to be gone for a long time.

“We leave in five days.” He says, eyeing your reaction.

“Oh.” You say, surprised. You did not expect him to be leaving so soon. “Well that’s sudden. But I am so excited for you!” You say, hugging him and hoping he doesn’t hear the slight disappointment in your voice.

“Thank you, I really appreciate your support. I know it’s a lot at such a short notice. But this opens up new business opportunities.” He explains, squeezing you tight. “Besides, you could always come and stay with me for a couple of days.” He suggests with a smile, hoping you agree to go to Japan.

“Yeah, most definitely. I think that would be fun.” You agree with a smile, enjoying the rest of the night with Chanyeol.

____________________________

“Okay, well have a good concert. I miss you too, okay bye.” You hang up, focusing back on the work in front of you.

“Who were you talking to?” Jungkook asks, coming into your office and plopping down on a chair in front of you.

“Chanyeol.” You mutter, focusing your attention on the important information in front of you. Your deadline was approaching and you needed it to be done before you left for Japan on Friday.

“Oh cool! I can’t believe you are not taking me to Japan with you.” Jungkook pouts. He really wanted to go to a concert but he could not afford it.

“Sorry darling, I’ll see if he has tickets for a concert here in Seoul.” You offer, already knowing Chanyeol was going to agree.

“You’re the best noona! Thank you!” He hugged you and exited your office, finally letting you focus on your work. You sent a quick text to Chanyeol and got back to work, eager to be done for the day.

“So have you finished packing?” Mina asks, eating popcorn from the comfort of your bed. You were leaving for Japan in two days and you wanted to get your packing all over and done with. Your suitcase was open on top of your bed and you needed to finish packing a few more essentials. You did not want to wait until the last minute to pack and you knew your next two days were going to be long days at work because you needed to finish your current project before you left.

“Obviously not since I’m still putting things into the suitcase.” You mutter, rolling your eyes at her question.

“Well can you please hurry, I want to start the movie.” She whines, flailing her legs like a child throwing a tantrum.

“Girl shut up. I won’t let you drag me to a midweek movie night next time.” You grumble, annoyed at her whining.

“Okay fine. What else do you need to pack?” She asked, figuring you are going to be done faster if she helps you out.

“All I need is for you to help me choose between these two.” You say, holding up two sets of lingerie. A black one and a white one. They were both sexy but you could not choose between the two.

“Oooh are you finally going to get dicked down by Chanyeol?” She asks, choosing the black set. Claiming that it was sexier and he has already seen you naked so it spiced things up.

“Well that’s a vulgar way of putting it but yes. I think it’s finally time to put that issue to bed… pun intended.” You laugh, putting the black lacey set into your suitcase.

“Okay, I am finished, let’s go watch that movie.” You say, zipping up your suitcase and leaving it near your bedroom door.

Your phone dinged with a notification and you saw that Chanyeol had replied and sent you an email with the printable tickets for the Seoul concert. Jungkook was going to be so excited.

You texted him back, thanking him and wishing him good luck with the concert. They were on the last week of the Japan portion of the tour and you were going to their last show and flying back to Seoul with Chanyeol. Your relationship had been going extremely well and you didn’t miss him much because he called you every day and would tell you about the concerts and promos they had. It seems like Chanyeol really grew up and that made you very happy.

____________

‘What the hell is going on?’ You think as you make your way to your office this morning, everyone you passed was murmuring and giving you side glances. Every time you made direct eye contact with someone, they would look the other way and it was starting to feel very awkward.

“Noona, hey…”Jungkook came up to you with a manic look on his face. He grabbed your arm and quickly pulled you towards your office.

“Jungkook, what the hell? What’s going on?” You question him, trying to pull your arm from his vice-like grip. He didn’t let go and didn’t stop until you were inside your office. There, he let go of your arm and closed your office door behind him.

“Okay, now will you tell me what’s going on?” You ask, annoyed at how he uses his muscles to manhandle you.

“You really don’t know what’s going on?” He asks you incredulously. You raise your eyebrow in further confusion and he curses under his breath.

“Okay, please sit down. You need to see this.” Jungkook instructs. He was making you very nervous and you did not understand his strange behavior.

“Jungkook, you are making me nervous, this better be important.” You say, annoyed at the fact that aside from manhandling you he hasn’t said much else.

He ignores you as he turns on your computer and opens the web browser, typing something into the search bar.

“Look.” He says softly, moving out of the way so you could read the screen.

No matter how odd Jungkook was acting, you were not prepared to see what was on the screen.

Love Blooms In Japan!

Award-Winning Producer Loey Spotted Leaving

Muse Arisa’s Hotel Early This Morning!

Loey Leaving Kobe International Hotel Early

This Morning Accompanied By His Manager

And His Personal Protection Service.

It Seems As Though More Than Music

Has Been Happening Between This Musical Genius

And His Muse!

You read the news article over and over, trying to make sense of what it meant.

“Jungkook, does he not stay at the same hotel as Arisa?” You ask, since it seems like Jungkook knows more about your boyfriend than you do.

“During the whole tour, Loey and Arisa have been staying in different hotels per her manager's request. Loey was staying in the Four Seasons in Kobe while Arisa was staying at Kobe International. So the fact that Loey left her hotel this morning…”

“Means he stayed there the night.” You finish for him, finally connecting the dots.

“Yeah… It might be nothing, but I felt like you needed to know.” He says, and you hate the pity you hear in his voice.

“Well that explains why everyone was staring at me, like I’m some kind of joke.” You huff, annoyed that you were some kind of cheap entertainment for these people.

“Noona, you’re not a joke. Loey is….. A jackass. I’m really sorry.” He did sound apologetic, not like he was pitying you. He placed a hand on your shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze.

“So I guess you no longer want the tickets I got you for the Seoul concert?” You ask, raising your eyebrow slightly.

“No, he is a bastard.” Jungkook huffs, making you laugh.

“Okay, well, I am leaving them in my inbox. If you want them, I am not going to hold that against you.” You wink, laughing at the cheeky smile he gives you as he leaves your office.

You sigh and look at the monitor once again, refreshing the web browser and seeing more pictures and articles pop up.

There were photos of Chanyeol and Arisa at an after party drinking and dancing, other photos of them getting into a taxi and some more of them kissing in front of the hotel entrance and going into the hotel hand-in-hand.

The evidence was all there, staring you in the face. You really thought that Chanyeol had changed, that his player days were over. You couldn’t believe you let yourself fall for his changed-person pretext. You ruined everything you loved for...what? A man that claimed he changed but didn’t? You let out a huff, shaking your head in disbelief at your idiocy.

You finally had enough.

Me: We are done. Lose my number and get the fuck out of my life. I never want to see you again.

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#Park Chanyeol #chanyeol angst #chanyeol smut #chanyeol series #chanyeol x reader #chanyeol x you #chanyeol boyfriend #multi au #exo series #multi fandom #exo angst #nct series #nct127 series #jaehyun series

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captcas · 5 years ago

Text

Worth Fighting For (7/?)

WORTH FIGHTING FOR by capthamm

Killian “Hook” Jones is a dominate up and comer in the UFC while Emma “The Savior” Swan’s career was cut short. When Hook’s manager moves up and the office brings in UFC’s youngest legend to keep him in check, will either of them be able to handle it?

read on ao3 // tumblr: ch 1/ ch 2 / ch 3 / ch 4 / ch 5 / ch 6

[CHAPTER 7/?]

The meeting with Regina is largely pointless, so when she gets an urgent phone call and politely asks them to leave the office Killian is more than happy to oblige. He can tell Emma still feels a bit awkward around him, but he knows that’s probably just residual from their chat earlier. He’s doing his best to be a friend now that she’s made it abundantly clear that’s all she wants– he’s pretty positive she said the word “friend” at least three times in their short conversation. He can do “friends”– it’s not at all he wants with Emma, but he’ll take what he can get.

They’re walking towards Emma’s cubicle and he hesitates only slightly before speaking up, “Would you like to, uh, grab an early dinner?” He has to mentally tell himself not to scratch behind his ear. Friends get dinner, right? Wrong. (If the look on her face is anything to go by.) “Or, uh, nevermind, Swan. I didn’t mean to–”

“No, no, no. If it were any other night, I totally would but I–”

He can’t help his sigh. He’s a bloody idiot to think she wouldn’t be busy. Probably someone else she met at their gym, or maybe the coffee shop. Lucky bloke. “Aye, lass, it’s alright. Another time then.” He gives her a forced smile and turns away, hopefully putting both of them out of their misery.

“I have a son.” She practically whispers it.

He did not expect that.

Killian turns on his heels, walking into her cubicle to give her some privacy for a topic she seems to have kept entirely under wraps. “I have a son and, uh, no one knows– well I mean Regina knows– but I try and keep him pretty low profile so his life is as normal as possible and so he doesn’t think I’m some superstar… not that I’m a superstar... and he usually has soccer after school, but the coach is out of town so I have to pick him up earlier than usual. So, it’s not that I wouldn’t go to dinner because I would… I just–” She’s looking at him but her hands are doing a number on the loose string attached to the end of her blazer.

She’s babbling again and he smiles before cutting her off. “I understand, Swan; I’m sorry. I didn’t know— obviously. We’ll plan for lunch another time, my treat.” He does his best to seem unphased by this important information, knowing his curiosity would be less than helpful right now.

She looks utterly stunned. Her face shifts slightly and he catches a small smile before relief washes over her. “I’d really appreciate that, I mean, I’d like that. Thanks? I’m sorry?”

She’s chuckling awkwardly and he’s pretty sure she’s never looked so vulnerable and trusting– so beautiful. “It’s quite alright, Swan. As I said, I understand, and I’m sorry for making you feel like you had to tell me.”

She dips her head slightly, quickly breaking their eye contact, before speaking softly, “I wanted to.”

His chest tightens, knowing her confession means more than she’s letting on. Emma wanted to share a piece of her world with him. A large piece of her world– with him.

Wow.

He has to take a second to process that before answering, “I appreciate your trust, Swan. Tell the lad I say hello.” She meets his eyes and smiles softly. He doesn’t want to push so he decides now is probably the best time to make his exit. “Enjoy your night, love. I’ll see you Thursday, aye?”

She nods, the smile never leaving her face, and Killian swears he could walk on water or maybe even fly.

As he enters the elevator, selfishly stealing one more glance of her before the doors close, realization drenches him like a cold rain.

He could love her – may already be well on his way to loving her.

So how in bloody hell is he ever supposed to be friends with her?

. . .

As Killian walks away, she expects regret to hit her like a ton of bricks. When it comes to her profession, she has kept Henry’s existence on a need-to-know basis for almost ten years.

Suddenly, Killian feels like he’s part of need-to-know.

That’s terrifying.

She shakes it off, not ready to deal with the emotional weight of what just happened. She checks the clock and quickly responds to a few emails before heading out to get Henry from school. Emma rarely gets to pick him up and she’s excited for a bit of mom/kid time before her weekend away. The look on Henry’s face when he sees her standing in front of the school is worth everything she’s ever sacrificed. He runs down the sidewalk, a piece of posterboard flapping in the wind behind him, before barreling into her legs. “Mom!!! You’re here?!”

She can’t help but laugh with his contagious enthusiasm. She hugs him a bit closer, “Yeah, kid. Thought I’d play hooky and we could go get some ice cream.”

His head perks up at the idea of ice cream, “At Granny’s?!” Emma nods and grabs his hand to start the few block walk to their favorite restaurant. “Will Ruby be there? Ruby is always there and she makes the best sundaes– no offence, mom.”

Emma chuckles as their arms swing back and forth, “None taken, I can’t be the best at everything.” Henry rolls his eyes in a way that is just so herthat she almost stops in her tracks. She knows he’s her son– obviously, she was in labor for almost 13 hours and has the c-section scars to prove it– but something about telling Killian today makes her hyper-aware of just how much of Henry is her. When it comes to looks, he’s all his father: brown hair, brown eyes, and that nose, but the more his personality blossoms, Emma realizes he’s got a lot of her in him too. She smiles at that thought, and how Killian would probably laugh at the way Henry rolls his eyes, while Henry explains whatever art project is supposed to go on the poster board.

Emma asks a few more questions about Henry’s art project and– riding the high from smoothing things over with Killian and simply loving her son– she doesn’t really think about the implication of the next sentence before it leaves her mouth, “Oh, Killian says hi by the way!”

Henry’s jaw drops more than she thought possible. “Hook knows I exist?”

Shit. Emma has always been upfront with Henry as far as her career goes. As soon as he was old enough to start asking questions, Emma answered them as honestly as she could for a 6 year old. Henry knows she didn’t go public with her pregnancy because his father wasn’t around and she wanted him to have a normal life, as he got older he realized that means most people in the UFC world don’t know he exists. Emma continually reassures Henry that it’s not because she doesn’t love him or is ashamed of him and he continually rolls his eyes and tells her he understands.

He’s an extremely smart almost-ten year old.

“Yeah, buddy. He asked if I wanted to grab a bite to eat and I had to tell him I was busy.”

Henry eyes her skeptically, “Well, you can tell him I say hi back.” His stomach rumbles and he grimaces in embarrassment, “Can I get some grilled cheese too?” She smiles to herself at her son’s ability to turn any conversation towards food and is silently relieved at the change of subject.

“Sure, kid.” She pushes on the door of the diner and with the ring of the bell feels the stress of the day leave her body. Since the first day Ruby and Ms brought her here, Granny has made it feel like home– not to mention all the discounted meals when she was pregnant with Henry. It also helps that Granny makes the best onion rings in Boston. She feels Henry leave her side and it snaps her out of the nostalgia. She looks up to find Ruby at the counter talking to a customer and Henry subsequently interrupting their conversation.

Ah, there’s the nine year old in him– she was starting to get worried she missed a birthday.

She catches up to him, apologizing to the man she recognizes as Archie (another regular at Granny’s) and practically dragging him to the booth while he yells something about extra sprinkles to Ruby.

This is her life and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

They order their dinner, dessert first at Henry’s insistence, and Ruby eventually joins them as they eat. They chat about nothing in particular until Emma mentions going to Maine practically in passing. Ruby knows this is anything but “no big deal” but Emma brushes off her questions, eyeing Henry next to her. Ruby nods and Emma thinks she’s out of the woods until she mouths, “We’ll talk later,” and gets up from the booth. She ignores her friend and turns to Henry, asking about his day at school until he’s finished his meal.

They gather their things and head to catch the train home. Emma feels better than she has in a long time; shocked at how much the tension between her and Killian was affecting her mood. She’s not sure when he became such an influence on her, and to be honest, it’s another terrifying fact about Killian Jones. Doing her best to ignore it, she focuses on the renewed energy she’s feeling and can’t help but let excitement for the weekend lull her to sleep.

She wakes the next morning to find that energy just as present– Henry gets to the bus stop early – and channels it into booking appearances for Killian over the next four weeks and laying out his entire social media plan for the lead up to his fight night. This level of adrenaline is something she hasn’t felt since she stepped into the ring, and while it's a slightly different feeling, the intensity is just the same. Before she knows it, it’s Thursday night, and (while effectively dodging all questions from Ruby) she’s packing for her weekend away.

. . .

Killian was disappointed when Emma cancelled their meeting that afternoon, claiming she has been swamped and they can discuss it on the car ride to weigh-ins. He’s picking her up at 9am tomorrow and he’s been distracted all week.

This has been the longest week of his life.

He schedules an impromptu training session with Robin to fill the void in his schedule, desperately trying to keep his mind off the next day.

He promptly gets the shit beat out of him; Robin easily noticing his mind is elsewhere and punishing him accordingly.

Bloody hell.

Killian heads home and immediately grabs a bag of peas from the freezer to ice his face. He’s not sure the last time he’s been beat this bad, but if he doesn’t regain focus soon he’s sure these peas will be used again. He sighs as he collapses onto the couch, some muscle in his lower back screaming at the movement. He’s only got one bag of peas so he figures he’ll just alternate between his face and back— you’d think an ultimate fighter could invest in some ice packs. He grabs his phone to add it to the shopping list he always forgets to check and is surprised to see a text from Emma on the screen.

Swan: I’ve never been to one of these before, do I need to pack anything special?

He guesses she’s nervous and he chuckles to himself before typing an answer.

Killian Jones: Nothing special, Swan. Just your usual self :)

He hits send before he can double guess himself.

Swan: Ok, thank you.

He ignores the wave of disappointment at her ending their conversation– maybe she really just needed to know what to pack. Killian’s thoughts are interrupted by another text:

Swan: 9am, right?

So she is nervous. He can’t say he blames her, the last time she was at weigh-ins was probably almost ten years ago and he’s not sure if she’s ever attended a Fight Night without fighting in it. He’s also pretty sure this will be her first public appearance since she left the league.

Nerves? Justified.

Killian Jones: Aye, love. I’ll pick you up at your apartment. Let me know if you need help carrying your suitcase.

Swan: Ha. Ha. You know I’m more than capable of that, Jones.

Killian Jones: Just trying to be a gentleman, Swan.

He calls back to their first kiss inadvertently and isn’t surprised when she doesn’t answer. Mentally kicking himself, he grabs the remote to flip through the channels, attempting to distract himself from the lack of activity on his phone.

He practically throws it at the wall when it lights up.

Swan: Yeah, yeah, Always a gentleman. I know.

She’s totally rolling her eyes right now. He’s about to answer when another text comes through.

Swan: Sorry, was checking on Henry and then got sidetracked by the dishes in the sink.

Killian Jones: Happens to the best of us, Swan. He can’t help the swell of his heart as she gives him more glimpses into her world.

Swan: Do you have a nine year old who refuses to go to bed at a normal time that you’re not telling me about?

He can’t help but laugh out loud. Nine must be a fun age.

Oh. Oh.

So that’s why The Savior left the UFC. He decides to file that in his Emma file and ignore it, she’ll tell him when— if— she wants to.

Killian Jones: Not that I know of, love. I was referring to the dishes.

He’s stunned she’s even still responding at this point. So when she answers with a laughing emoji, he decides not to press his luck. He lands on SportsCenter and half listens as they discuss the college football matchups for the weekend. Apparently Alabama is playing Wisconsin for the first time since 2015 and it’s a big deal.

He couldn’t care less.

He continues to half watch, pretending he’s not waiting for his phone to light up– it doesn’t make him less shocked when it does.

Swan: Are you watching SportsCenter?

Killian Jones: Aye, lass. Although I couldn’t care less about American football, especially the uni league.

Swan: God, you’re so British.

He knew that’d get some sort of reaction out of her– that was the point.

Killian Jones: Since June 12, 1988.

Swan: You’re 32?!

Killian actually laughs out loud. If he had roommates, they’d think he was a maniac.

Killian Jones: As my manager, I feel like you should know this.

Swan: I just knew you were old, but I didn’t think you were that old.

Killian Jones: Oi, you wound a man, Swan.

Swan: Nah, that’s your opponents’ job. I’m just trying to keep that ego in check. ;)

He can’t help but smile at how easy their conversation is and he’s wary of continuing it, the fear of ruining something good taking over. He decides to answer simply, knowing a response won’t be required.

Killian Jones: Anytime, love.

Swan: You can count on it. :D

He smiles at the fact she responded anyway, and their natural banter flowing easy even over text. Killian doesn’t have time to respond before another text flashes across his screen.

Swan: Thanks for chatting but I need to crash or I’ll be a nightmare tomorrow! See you at 9am!

He smiles; their conversation apparently worth enough to her to end it properly. There’s a million things he’d like to say, but he holds back in fear of wading too deep into these new waters.

Killian Jones: Aye, I’ll be there. Goodnight, Swan.

Swan: Night, Jones.

With her final text his smile widens, ignoring the gut feeling that longs to end each night this way– preferably in person. He drifts off to sleep hoping this conversation is a hint at the weekend ahead of them and wakes up to nerves replaced with unbridled excitement.

#cs ff #captain swan #cs modern au #killian jones #Emma swan #capthamm #worth fighting for

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misterbitches · 4 years ago

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man i don’t want to wait until next week. for what it’s worth, i really like all the episodes. even though it hurts, i think everything guk said was true. i really don’t have any other way to put it. they obviously like each other, but guk isn’t his equal, he can’t be. he works for tae joo and it sucks. you can’t ignore it when it’s so obvious.

it’s not that they can’t be together at all, even, but it’s like when men drain women of their energy. there’s the emotional and mental labor. for guk it’s also physical labor. it’s a different dynamic but like he isn’t your mom and feeling free is valuable (though guk was most likely in pain missing him...well i’m assuming.)

i was hurt (also the subs were missing for the latter half so i’ll figure that one out) but i just appreciate it. i feel kind of dreadful after, scared for them, and i really want them to be together. i feel like we’re missing such big chunks of time. but it’s not just about being in love with someone you arent supposed to, it’s the case of the same-sex and from a totally different tax bracket and a worker to a rich kid.

whatever reasons guk had for saying that, partially to get back at him and partially honestly very fucking real and true, it must have been said. i am so sad there’s only 2 eps left tho. damn.

what a time for this to come out. the whole world is burning and everyone is fed up (let me mention here that the momentum is also because the horrors of black subjugation and others waking up to the bullshit.) i doubt tae joo denounces his riches and flees but....maybe that’s part of why i like hye mi (besides being weird, annoying, cute.)

tae joo cannot possibly get anything he wants. as a person you should expect the world for yourself and give back in kind but there’s pain and deprivation. guk knows it, but tae joo doesn’t have to. idk if i’m explaining this right. i just feel it, and it makes me sad, but i love to see kang guk be a person. life is too short for this bullshit. and also immense wealth (HOARDING) means you’re stealing other people’s power. sorry.

i do want to see them together. i don’t dislike tae joo at all, but i see him as someone i can love through guk’s eyes. if things get better and they’re together i really want to see a turnaround, what things are like (has any1 seen buffy lmao the original movie i mean? my otp. rich girl hottie cool girl + working class kang. beautiful my babies!!!)

it was also like cringe-y but not in a bad way. they’re not too bad. actor playing kang guk marry me but also GROW YOUR HAIR OUTTTTTTTT

#where your eyes linger #i am definitely still very sad #lol

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slasherscream · 5 years ago

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A/N: howdy partners! heard we needed some gay round’ these slasher parts.

sidney prescott x fem!reader x tatum riley ft. that’s it …. that’s the whole concept

——————–

You've been best friends since childhood.

First day of kindergarten and for some reason another kid hones in on you as the perfect, defenseless target to pick on. The teacher hadn't noticed all day and you were just at the edge of patience for a little girl who was already missing being at home with her parents.

Your bully kicks over the sandcastle you're making and you burst into tears. Tatum comes out of nowhere and shoves the kid into the dirt.

While little Tatum is throwing hands little Sidney is kneeling beside you, wiping at your tears with chubby fingers and cooing at you the way her Mother coos at her whenever she's upset.

Y'all are friends for life after that. The three amigos. The dynamic trio. Inseparable in every-way through any and all the trials of getting older and learning who you are.

Growing up isn't very glamorous but it sure feels that way when you've got a girl group like yours behind you. Utter squad goals.

Tatum was your first kiss because you were confessing to being too nervous to go to your first guy/girl party without having been kissed yet (in case you played spin the bottle).

Tatum, who'd already gotten her first kiss offered to give you, yours! Best friends gotta look out for each other, right? It was sweet and short at age thirteen and you both blushed afterwards. Not much changed after that although sometimes you stare at each other in ways you hadn't before.

Has Tatum's hair always been so shiny, you wonder to yourself as you brush it for much longer than needed at one of your many, weekly sleepovers. You like how she rests her head on your thigh whenever you do it (even though that messes up the other side you just got done brushing).

Had your lips always looked so soft, Tatum thinks to herself as she helps you apply the sheer lip-gloss that your parents are finally letting you wear.

One summer, the summer before you all start highschool, Sidney comes to you both freaking out. In highschool you go on dates, right? You go on dates, and you get boyfriends, and everyone knows what their doing?!

You're Sidney's first kiss. Tatum looks at you and jerks her head towards Sidney like, "well go on! it's your turn!". You offer and Sidney stops freaking out to ponder that. She doesn't think on it long before she nods eagerly and thanks you for helping her.

You feel like you should be the one thanking her when you lean in to kiss her and she kisses back. She's a natural. When you both pull away a dreamy sort of sigh escapes the two of you at the same time. "Jinx!" says Tatum, and the soft energy in the air doesn't fade, just moves to encompass her too.

That summer you all go on "practice dates" together so you'll know what you're doing by the time you start dating for real. Tatum suggested them and you all went along with it instantly.

Tatum always seems like the most grown-up of the three of you. The most self-assured of how to be a woman. You tend to follow her lead on these type of things.

The practice dates are fun. More fun than you've ever had together. You all start holding hands more. Sitting on each other's lap more. Cuddling closer together when you watch movies. Complimenting each other more quietly. Sharing drinks more often and pretending you can't taste each other's chap-sticks on straws when your drink finally gets passed back to you at the table. You giggle more around each other and sometimes can't even look each other in the eyes without sweet laughter filling the air.

But summer ends. You get to highschool and the practice dates stop. Now you can all go on real dates. What's the point of practice anymore you should all be experts by now! You're all secretly sad about the ending of this tradition and don't want to think about why.

You all start to discover the joys of highschool, popularity, and boys. Some friendships fade with highschool. Yours gets stronger. Tatum develops an interest in athletics and you and Sidney show up to cheer her on no matter what sport she's playing this time around.

You try not to stare at her as she gets redressed in the locker room so you and Sidney can take her out to celebrate her big win. When you go to look away you catch Sidney doing the same. You stare at each other before smiling sheepishly, clearly you both feel guilty about something. You don't talk about it.

You start wanting to talk about it.

Sidney starts dating bad boy Billy Loomis. Tatum doesn't hate him at first just strongly dislikes him. Until she realizes how much you hate him. Best friends hate people together! You don't tell Sidney you hate him because she tells you both she thinks she loves him.

"Do you think she meant it?" You ask Tatum as you're laying side by side in bed together one night. Sidney doesn't often cancel plans with you to be with Billy. In fact she almost never does. But she did tonight and something in you feels like it's breaking. "Do you think she loves him?"

You start crying and you don't even understand why fully. Until you do. Tatum seems to realize why at the exact same moment. And it strikes a chord in her as well. She kisses your forehead and rocks the two of you. The hug feels lonely. It's missing a person. Tatum nearly cries herself, it’s a narrowly avoided thing.

Billy starts treating Sidney badly. He was never the greatest boyfriend but before he wasn't bad. It's a sudden change and now you both shamelessly express your dislike of him. Even going so far as to ignore him when you're all unfortunately forced to be around each other because of Sidney. You'd both do anything for Sidney. Including tolerating Billy but not if Billy starts being an asshole to her.

Meanwhile you and Tatum have started hanging out more. Those times when Sidney isn't around stop feeling so empty. You want her there with you. You want her there with you both so badly. But Tatum is starting to hold your hand more. You start to cuddle closer together when you watch movies. She starts twirling your hair around her fingertips and leaning into your space more.

She kisses you in the middle of you saying something one day and neither of you pull away for a long time. You don't act shocked. You don't feel shocked. Part of you always knew.

You drag her down for another kiss and she laughs against your lips. It's just the two of you. Just a regular sleepover. So she's not wearing her usual make-up. Already wiped it all off earlier. All she's wearing is her favorite chap-stick. The same chap-stick she used to wear during all those practice dates she took the three of you on. You hum at the taste.

The next day you hold hands coming to meet Sidney. Billy is with her and Billy's shadow Stu, is with him. The two of you aren't waiting to see if this is how you really feel. If you’ll change your mind. You're not worrying about how this will effect your friendship. You know this is perfect.

Sidney sees there's something different in the way you're looking at one another instantly. She doesn't hesitate, just asks the question, "Are you two ?" and she trails off, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah," Tatum answers confidently, dragging you closer and cinching your hips together. "Yeah we are. Who are you gonna give the shovel talk to, Sid?"

And like that you're all laughing and hugging. Sidney congratulating you joyfully. You can't see it on her face but something inside her feels ....unhappy. She doesn't know why. Billy wraps an arm around her once you all pull apart. You and Tatum scowl at him.

You'd forgotten he was there. You also forgot Stu was there. You remember when he starts to say something gross and vaguely insulting but never gets to finish. Tatum swings her purse at the side of his head and she's got excellent aim. You laugh and lean in to kiss her cheek. You leave a lipstick mark behind and she doesn't wipe it off.

Sidney's Mom is murdered and everything goes topsy-turvy. Most teenagers get an easier introduction to death. To realizing they're not immortal and neither are the people they love. Sidney got a crash-course and so did the two of you by proxy.

Sidney doesn't leave her room for days after the funeral. You two have to go and get her. For the first time in your lives she doesn't run to you when something is wrong. This time you have to go after her. You don't mind. There are more difficult labors of love you could be performing besides chasing after somebody when they really need you.

She doesn't unlock the door when you ask her to so you and Tatum climb through her window. Neither of you are very graceful doing it. It's your first time. She would've laughed if she wasn't so heartbroken.

She cries in your arms and you hold her. You both hold her cause what else can you do? She falls asleep clinging to you both like you might disappear any moment. You and Tatum kiss each other because nothing puts love into perspective like death. Tatum tells you she loves you and you echo it back softly. Sidney lies still between you two, cradled in your arms. Safe there. You both stare at her. Then each other. You both know you love Sidney too. You kiss again and go to sleep.

Months pass by and things are ....getting back to normal. As normal as can be. People stop looking at Sidney like she's a walking puzzle to figure out or magazine to read. Time dulling the interest. What time can't do you and Tatum do. You've shoved more than one gawking passerby out of Sidney's way. Tatum may or may not have assaulted a few cameramen. You may or may not have made out with her to reward her. This is your new normal.

Billy starts pressuring Sidney to have sex and she makes excuses for him. You and Tatum don't. In fact this is your breaking point. You're the one to explode. Billy Loomis sucks ass and isn't worth anything more than the gum I got stuck to the bottom of my heel last week. You don't know what's said after that or who said it but it starts a fight. The first one you guys have had in forever. But your all best friends and have always talked through what your feeling. No one is allowed to storm out.

"What is this really about?" Sidney demands, even though it is really about Billy. Billy the shitty boyfriend. Billy who you don't trust. Billy who she's in love with when she should be in love with

Tatum makes you sit down. She makes Sidney sit down. Then she sits in-between the two of you and takes both your hands. She confesses for the two of you. Always the more grown-up of your trio. Always a few steps ahead. Even now it seems. She’s so calm and so sure of herself as she talks ---- it makes you love her even more, if possible.

Sidney is confused and emotionally vulnerable and you tell her you don't want to pressure her. That you'd never want to pressure her. And that's why you're so worried about Billy. What the fuck is wrong with him? He knows what she's been through. What she's going through and he can still act like this? The guy has to be a psycho, Sid!

She laughs and you all hold each other. Just three best friends talking about a shitty boyfriend. No weight on your shoulders because now Sidney knows and that's enough. More than enough.

She breaks up with Billy. Billy causes quite the scene over it. Tatum ends the scene by threatening to knock his teeth out his head.

You guys make a new normal. The three inseparable amigos are back. Except you and Tatum are a couple now. And you're both a little (a lot) in love with Sidney. And sometimes Sidney wiggles her way in-between the two of you ---- not like you're making her feel like a third-wheel ... but like she just wants to be there. You and Tatum don't talk about it because you don't want to get your hopes up.

Sidney starts kissing you guys hello and goodbye instead of just hugging you like she used to. First on the cheeks and then the kisses get closer and closer to your lips as the days go by. It's a gradual thing and you both let her go at her own pace.

When she does finally kiss you, you find she still uses the same chap-stick she did when she was younger. Just like Tatum. You laugh and bring it up to Tatum when you guys are gushing over Sidney alone that night. Guess not everything changes, Tatum smiles even as she crawls on top of you ready to get her own echo of Sidney's taste (she imagines kissing you both directly after you've kissed one another and melts on top of you like butter at the thought).

You're not exactly a couple but sometimes you all kiss. You and Tatum treat her like you treat each other. The night she calls you her girlfriend's for the first time is the same night poor Casey Becker dies a violent, senseless death.

You all had fallen asleep together, exchanging sleepy kisses late into the night. You arrive at school all holding hands and your peaceful little world comes crashing down. Police. News reporters. Cameras. Randy is the reason you find out what's going on. Runs up to the three of you like a mad man and tells you the whole thing. You all feel sick.

This couldn't be happening at a worst time with the first anniversary of Sidney's mother getting killed right around the corner. You hold each other's hands tighter and don't let go. Not when busy-body Gale Weathers sticks her nose where it doesn't belong. Not when Billy and Stu who for some reason you all still hang out with (the joys of highschool cliques and getting used to them), say some things at lunch that are unsettling.

Sidney and you go to her house to pack up her things so she can stay with Tatum until her Dad gets back. Tatum is late to picking you two up but you both don't mind much. Just fall asleep on the couch together cuddling.

You're the one who answers the phone at first and you hang up having no patience for Randy and his games. Sidney picks up the phone when it rings next and she talks on it for awhile before her face suddenly goes ashen. When you're both attacked by the killer you fight like hell to protect each other. You jump out the window to get away and you call the police from your cellphone as you go. As you're running up the road to escape who do you run into but Billy Loomis the police, Dewey in particular arrive at that very moment and Billy is in handcuffs faster than he can blink.

You get another call while he's in jail and the three of you are now at Tatum's. She'd been tough as nails when she'd gone to pick you both up from the police station. When the phone rings and she sees Sidney's face go pale from fear she starts crying as she screams for her brother to "get his ass in here now!". The killer hangs up and you're all left terrified and wondering how you're going to keep each other safe.

Stu is throwing a party and Tatum thinks there might be safety in numbers. She also thinks you and Sidney need to be normal teenagers for a bit. She can tell how shaken you both are from the attacks and bullshit. It's hard to say no to her when she goes all soft and worried at the edges. You go to the party.

Everything is normal and Dewey is there to make sure everything is safe. Stu asks Tatum to go grab some more beers and she scoffs but goes to do it anyway, giving you and Sidney kisses on her way out the room.

You sit with an arm around Sidney for a moment but something is wrong. Off. It's only been a few minutes but Tatum shouldn't be taking that long at all. You get up thinking she must need help and Sidney watches you go but is talking to Randy and actually relaxed for once. You don't know that someone else is watching you as you get up that's not Sidney.

You arrive in the garage just in time to see the killer cut Tatum's arm. You don't even think before you're launching yourself onto their back screaming bloody fucking murder. Arms around their neck you intend to choke the bastard.

You struggle and can hear them start wheezing. They run backwards and ram you into the refrigerator. You hit your head hard enough so that your vision spins but you don't loosen your grip. In fact you start punching them.

They might be strong but you and Tatum are pissed off girlfriends and there is strength in numbers. She grabs a golf club and hits them in the knee with it so fucking hard you think you hear it break, they drop the knife and scream in pain. Tatum is about to grab the knife right before she's tackled by Stu?!

You're on top of the killer's back and confused as you watch Stu start to put his hands around Tatum's throat. You scream, panicked as it starts to click in your dizzy head. You don't know what to do.

You're barely managing to keep the killer underneath you from getting back up. Tatum's head is turned towards you and she's reaching out for you, mouth moving but no sound coming out. You know she's begging for help. You start to cry and try to fight the one killer underneath you to the ground harder. But it's no use. You're not strong enough. They have you pinned to the ground and have started slamming you into it. Over and over again. Your head feels like it's going to explode. You reach up trying to do anything at all to stop them. You were aiming for a punch but they jerk their head back and all you manage to do is grab their mask. It comes off as your hand comes back down.

Stu didn't close the door all the way. Randy and Sidney and a few of your other classmates run in. They heard the screaming they heard the fucking screaming. You could start laughing with joy and relief.

Sidney makes a an enraged scream that doesn't sound quite human. Her entrance had distracted you. You look back up at the killer hovering over you. Their mask is in your hand still. Face revealed for everyone to see. Billy Loomis. Before anyone can stop her she makes a running leap for him and knocks him off you. She's a vicious animal as she punches and kicks at him endlessly. You turn your head to see Randy and a guy you don't know the name of starting to drag Stu off of Tatum who is wheezing and coughing but still alive. You're groggy as you crawl your way over to her and hold her. She sobs a little when your arms wrap around her but she clings to you instantly.

Sidney is still hitting Billy and someone has to drag her off. Billy doesn't move when she's pulled away. Just curls in on himself in pain.

Dewey bursts into the room at that very moment. Another one of the party-goers having run to get him. Gale Weathers is following close behind with her stupid fucking cameraman. The garage is a mess. Sidney Prescott is fighting to try and escape the arms around her so she can "fucking kill you! I swear I will!". She only stops fighting because she registers the sounds of her girlfriends crying.

When she's released she power slides across the floor to you and cradles you both, kissing any bit of you two she can get her lips on. She's cooing at you the same way she did that first day she and Tatum rescued you from the bully who kicked over your sandcastle. It's soothingly familiar in the worst moment of your life.

Sidney's father is found in the house, alive. Billy and Stu are a flurry of rage as they're dragged away in hand-cuffs. Tatum's already going to be hoarse for weeks but she still takes the time to scream "fuck you both to hell and back!" as they're thrown in the back of a police car.

You all ride in one ambulance to the hospital together. Sidney uninjured but rescuing to leave the two of you. Fuck police questions she has to look after you two.

You and Tatum get put in one hospital room. Dewey and Gale Weathers somehow saying the right thing to somebody about "traumatized teenage girls needing each other right now-". You all cry together after the doctors are gone. But you're all alive. A little beat up but alive. Sidney holds both of your hands and you fall asleep quickly. A sweet mixture of hospital pain medication and knowing Sidney is there watching over you and Tatum, and thus, that you're going to be just fine.

——————–

#sidney prescott x reader x tatum riley #sidney prescott x reader #tatum riley x reader #sidney prescott imagine #tatum riley imagine #this shit ?? mmm spicy #final girl x reader #slasher x reader #this is my PROUDEST moment #this is my CROWNING glory #imma never write again because this is IT sis #adjkl you all survive the movie because you beat the everloving shit out of billy in the garage scene #the mood of this is girls like girls by hayley kiyoko tbfh #take a fucking sip of gay babes #tatum is the top #ladies is it gay to kiss your best friend and go on practice dates #i love jusT WLW content god ....god esp young sweet wlw content #y'all calling billy and stu in prison: hey guess what bitch.... we're all final girls #i can never write again this is the most romantic thing i'll ever write

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ericsonclan · 4 years ago

Text

Wrapped Up in Anticipation

Summary: Violet opens her dorm door to find an excited Louis with presents to wrap.

Word Count: 2048

Read on A03:

A knock at Violet’s dorm room door had her quirking an eyebrow. Therissa wouldn’t be back until the wee hours of the morning since she’d gone to pull an all-nighter with a classmate. Who else could be visiting so late at night? Looking through the peephole, Violet rolled her eyes. She opened the door to find Louis there, wearing a Santa hat and smiling at her with his arms full of Christmas wrapping paper and a huge bag slung over his shoulder.

“Lou, what are you doing here? We said we’d meet up tomorrow to wrap gifts,”

“I know, I know, but I was picking up supplies and I found something and I just got so excited I had to bring it over tonight and figured why not go the whole nine yards?” Louis smiled brightly at his best friend before looking down meaningfully by his feet.

Violet’s gaze followed Louis’ down to the ground. A small gasp escaped her lips. There at Louis’ feet was a tiny live Christmas tree, no higher than his knee.

“Isn’t it amazing! I spotted it being sold in the parking lot with all the big Christmas trees and figured it’d be the perfect tree for you. You can have a real live tree this year!”

Violet would never admit it, but a lump welled up in her throat at the gift. Growing up in a trailer, she hadn’t come from a family with the funds to afford a real live tree let alone a full size artificial one. Truth be told, as she got older her parents had stopped putting up any sort of tree at all, not even the dusty old miniature one they used to place on the table. Her mom had been busy working multiple jobs and no longer had energy to decorate and her father was too focused on chasing the next bottle of whiskey to care. Violet used to have her grandma’s decorations and artificial tree to find solace in, but it had been almost a decade now since she’d been alive.

“Vi? Are you OK?” Louis’ voice carried concern with it.

Shit. Her emotion must be showing through after all. She didn’t want to talk about any of that stuff. It wasn’t like Louis knew and she wanted to keep it that way. That part of her life was in the past now. She was living independently, and she’d never be going back. Swallowing the lump, Violet cleared her throat and bent over to pick up the tree. “It’s cool. Let’s bring it inside quick. I think my RA said live trees aren’t allowed within the dorms,”

“Ooh, breaking the rules!” Louis whispered happily with a playful waggle of his eyebrows. Slipping inside Violet’s room, he closed the door behind him with a soft click. Walking forward, Louis dumped all the wrapping supplies in the center of the room. He glanced over at Violet who was placing the tree upon her desk. “Oh, we should probably put that in water so it doesn’t dry out. Do you have a bowl or something we could use?”

“I have one,” Violet went over to the bookshelf and grabbed a plain white bowl. “I’ll be right back,” With that she left to fill the bowl in the dorm bathroom. A few minutes later when she returned she found Louis had already spread out all of his gifts upon the floor and was attempting to calculate how much wrapping paper he’d need for the first one.

“You’re using way too much,” Violet noted dryly. Going over to her desk, she stood the tree up within the water bowl. “The wrapping paper’s gonna get all crinkly and shit,”

“It’s ok, I bought plenty. If I do this wrong, I’ll just try again,” Louis’ scissors glided as he cut a huge swath of wrapping paper before looking back over at Violet and the tree. His face fell slightly. “I should have run back inside and bought some ornaments for Lil Stumpy. He looks so bare,”

“You named my tree?” Violet plopped down on the floor, rooting out her own presents from under the bed.

“Poor little guy needed a name. He’s small of stature but big of heart,”

“Excuse you, Lil Stumpy is a lady,”

“Oh! My humblest apologies!” Louis bowed in mock solemnity before continuing with his wrapping. “I’ll be sure to drop by tomorrow with ornaments for the little lady,”

“Y’know, for someone who goes to a different college, you’re over here way too much,”

Louis shrugged. “What can I say? I like it here. You’re here, Marlon’s here, and everybody else around here seems cool too. Like those twins in your statistics class. That gift’s for Sophie, right? You said she’s the one who really likes food,”

Violet paused in her gift wrapping and nodded. “Good memory,” She’d gotten Sophie a DIY mochi ice cream kit. Ever since the twins and Violet had gone on a late-night ice cream run one late night, Sophie had been talking about mochi nonstop. Hopefully Sophie’s homemade mochi would turn out to her satisfaction. Violet glanced over at the box Louis had been trying unsuccessfully to wrap again and again. “That’s the bomb you ordered for Mitch?”

“Glitter bomb,” Louis corrected, recutting his wrapping paper to a smaller size. “I can’t wait to see the look on Mitch’s face when he gets a faceful of glitter! He’ll be getting the stuff out of his hair for weeks!” Louis chortled happily at the thought. “There’s a giftcard to St. John Steakhouse in there too. Hope he looks through the box before throwing it out,”

“You’d better give him a heads up on that after the glitter bomb,” Setting aside her first present, Violet moved onto her second, Minnie’s gift. It was a t-shirt with a heartbeat monitor line in the background while a guitar was in the foreground.

“Oooh, getting Minnie something with a heart on it I see,” Louis teased.

“Shut up,” Violet muttered, turning her face away from her friend. “It’s a heartbeat, not a heart,”

“Riiiight, totally different. Minnie seems nice though. I think if you asked her out she’d say yes,”

“Yeah, like that’s ever gonna happen,”

“Or maybe I should hint to Minnie that she should ask you out,”

“If you do, that, I swear I’ll steal your kneecaps in the middle of the night,”

“Ok, ok, message received! Yeesh!” Louis rolled his eyes as he pulled out a large package from his present bag that was already wrapped in dark blue tissue paper and tied with a silver bow. “Here’s your gift by the way. I wrapped it ahead of time so there’d be no chance of you spoiling your own gift this year,” It was a game they’d developed over the years: Louis hiding his present to Violet somewhere he thought she’d never find it and Violet inevitably sniffing it out.

A smirk crossed Violet’s face. “Oh, I already know what it is,”

“What?! How?”

“You left your laptop open beside me last time you were over here. I just pulled up your Amazon order history and scrolled down,”

“Well, you’re still not allowed to open it till Christmas!” Louis declared with a sullen pout.

“I won’t,” Violet took the present eagerly, lightly squishing it. Louis had outdone himself this year. He’d found a blanket with glow in the dark constellations printed all over both sides. Violet couldn’t wait to cuddle under it come Christmas morning. Pulling out a box from her own pile, Violet unceremoniously plopped one of the ribbons Louis had bought on the top of the packaging and handed it over. “Here’s your gift,”

“Wow, I love what you did with the packaging,” Louis replied drolly. Taking the small box in both hands, he shook it in curiosity.

“Hey, no shaking! You don’t get to guess what it is!”

“Oh, but you get to know what your present is ahead of time? I call shenanigans!”

“Just wait till Christmas, you big baby,” Violet glanced over at the box, hoping the present inside was still safe. She’d bought Louis a thumb piano. It had been a tossup on whether buying it for him would be worth the annoyance of him playing the thing everywhere, but Violet knew the smile on Louis’ face when he opened it would be worth it. Getting back into wrapping mode, she pulled out a thin black box that contained her next present.

“Is that one for Mitch?”

“Yup,” Violet wrapped it in the goofy reindeer wrapping paper Louis had bought. She knew that one would annoy Mitch the most.

“What is it?”

“A knife,”

“Bet you wanna keep it for yourself,” Louis knew her well. Violet was a sucker for a cool knife.

“Yeah, but there’s no weapons allowed on campus anyway, so,” Violet shrugged, making quick work of wrapping the gift. “Ready to wrap the big one?”

“You betcha!” Louis reached into his bag with glee, pulling out an entire miniature sled. The warm brown wood and painted metal detailing along the edges came together to form a truly charming sight. “You got your part of the gift?”

“Yep,” Violet plopped a red dog harness on top of the miniature sled. “I looked up pit bulls to make sure I got the right size,”

“Awesome. Marlon’s gonna lose his mind when he sees this!” Louis was practically beaming in excitement as he unrolled a huge swath of wrapping paper to begin the process.

Violet had to agree. Ever since Marlon got Rosie at the beginning of this year, the dog was all he ever talked about. Violet couldn’t blame him. Rosie was super cute and pretty much the sweetest dog she’d ever met. When she and Louis had been brainstorming gift ideas for this year, they knew they wanted to get Marlon something that would also be a gift for Rosie. Now he would be able to sit on his own miniature sled and have Rosie pull him around across the snow to her heart’s content. They were both gonna love it.

It was quite a tricky process getting such a large and unusually shaped present wrapped. In the end after several layers of wrapping paper and some truly haphazard usage of tape, they had a large, lumpy package to show for their labors. Both friends looked at it with pride.

“It’s perfect,” Louis stated, wiping a mock tear from his eye.

“That’s some fucking good wrapping if I do say so myself,” Violet smiled proudly at the mysterious blob. That was when her eyes caught the time. “Shit, it’s almost one? I have an 8 AM class tomorrow. You gotta go,”

“Awww, so soon?” Louis batted his lashes at Violet, giving his best sad puppy impression even though they both knew that was pointless.

“Yep. Scram. And take your shit with you,” Violet helped Louis pack all the wrapping paper and supplies as well as his gifts before escorting him to the door.

“Christmas hug?” Louis asked, turning around one last time.

“Fine, Christmas hug,”

“Yay!” Louis wrapped his arms round Violet happily, chuckling as he did so. “Ho ho ho!”

“…What the fuck was that?”

“A Santa laugh. Now it’s a genuine Christmas hug,”

“Whatever,” Violet mumbled though she knew Louis caught the small smile upon her lips.

“I’ll see you tomorrow to drop off the ornaments for Lil Stumpy then?”

“Sure. I’m done with classes at 2,”

“Then I shall see you then. Till next time!” With a happy wave Louis was gone, sneaking quietly down the hall as it was far past visiting hours.

Violet shook her head good naturedly before closing the door. What a goof. It was sweet how excited he got around Christmas though. And the early gift he had dropped off… Violet looked over at the tiny Christmas tree, her eyes misting up a bit at the sight. That was truly special. Walking over to her desk, Violet brushed her hands along the delicate pine needles tenderly. It was her first Christmas on her own and already it was better than any she’d had in a long, long time. “Merry Christmas, Violet,” she whispered softly to herself. A bit of Christmas magic had found its way to her after all.

#twdg #fanfic #twdg christmas #ericsonclanchristmaschallenge #twdg violet #twdg louis #louis violet brotp #ericson's diner au

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hadestownmodern · 5 years ago

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A Cosmic Suggestion

Here’s me being the literal only bee man stan. More Orphydice to come later.

(Danielle)

----------

Demeter doesn’t just wake up wishing for a baby.

No, she thinks; that would be crazy.

Only, she does wake up wishing for a baby-her baby, with her big, dark eyes and her dimpled smile, the presence she felt so vividly in a dream escaping her hold as soon as she regains her presence in the physical world. She rolls over in bed feeling empty-lost-as if a piece of her soul had come and gone all in one night. Demeter rises from bed wearily, recognizing the weight on her chest as a hole she can not fill. She’d known the infant in the dream she’d had, felt her presence as an extension of her own being. She’d never felt this before-not in any dream, not from any iteration of the present or future. This is something entirely new, slightly frightening.

She begins her morning the same way as usual; putting the kettle on the stove, walking out into the fresh air to gather eggs for the chickens. Then she gathers up her canvas bags, slips on her well-worn sandals, and makes her weekly trek down to the farmers market. She had thought by now that the same sort of monotony she’d had in the city would catch up to her. Following a routine here is much different than the city; she still wields the powerful freedom that comes with being tied only to the sun’s position in the sky and the length of the labor that tending her plants or working on a new knit or stitch will take. Today, she brings a host of small gifts; a pair of potholders in exchange for some flour, a patched up pair of overalls for a small harvest of zucchini. She prefers life this way, in which she can work her own land, where the community works together to raise each other in unity.

She attempts to make her rounds in some semblance of an order, one tent at a time, but the sensation of prickling anxiety settles in the space behind her heart, pulls her toward the stand with painted honeybees. She stands bemused, one hand on her hip, as she watches Theo. His back is turned toward the crowd and he’s bent down low, rifling trough his wheeled cart. She brings her attention to his wares; bottles of the sweet nectar in varying colors, hand-drawn labels boasting flavor infusions and uses. There’s lavender for sleep and tea, a light honey for sweetness, juniper for its medicinal properties. When he turns around he gives a slight jump at the sight of her, grinning immediately and coming around his booth to hug her tight. Where she’s only slightly taller than average he still has a good deal of height on her, and her lithe body nearly disappears in his embrace.

“I was wondering where you were,” he teases, leaning one arm on his self-made booth. “Didn’t think you’d show up today.”

“I got caught up finishing a project, almost lost track of time.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re here.” She smiles, Theo standing straight and moving back behind his booth to help an older man with three bottles in his hand. She takes up her place atop his wheeled cart, sitting cross-legged and tossing her bags to the grass, letting the sun sink into her skin. There is a sudden glow about her not just brought by the weather, a glow that settles where her anxiety had once sat. Now it is only a pull, a longing. She closes her eyes, puts her hand over the space the new feeling rests and takes a breath. Demeter sends her energy down to the spot behind her heart, pictures the glowing, attempts to capture the feeling and label it. In the noise of the market she can hear soft vocals with plucking folk guitar, children laughing and running and Theo’s charismatic smile as he jests with the older man, a loyal customer.

It’s him.

She’s consumed with the hole in her chest from the morning, from the sudden longing for a child to raise on her farm, for the solitary motherhood she knows she’s meant to have. Demeter sits in this feeling for a while; the emptiness, the yearning, the new truth of her future. Then, she’s interrupted. Theo’s hand is on her shoulder, resting there.

“Anxious?” He asks, and when she opens her eyes he’s gesturing to her hand over her heart, taking her physical cues to guess her ailment. The moment she meets his eyes, the pieces of her own mind connect. It’s him. He’s the answer.

She’s taken back by her own thoughts at first, staring at her friend with an undeniable curiosity. It surprises her, not because he seems unworthy but because he seems the most worthy of all; Theo is kind, charismatic. His soul is gentle, soft. She wonders if-when-she takes her cosmic suggestion, he will be willing to help her. It’s a strange request to ask of anyone, let alone a new yet very good friend. She’d only met him two weeks ago, had only seen him both Saturdays and one weekday between. They’d become close in that time, close enough for a comfort to be found in these long days at the farmers’ market, where she’d sit on the grass and keep him company while he charmed the crowd into buying his stock.

“Well, your grandfather was right about you being a good salesman.”

“I think it’s just about being honest-people want to know what we do and I’m here to give them the truth. We’ve been at this for years now, we know how to treat them humanely and not overharvest. And they’re always welcome to the apiary if they want-that always gets people nervous. Nobody wants to be around the bees but they all want to pretend they know how to take care of them.”

“Well, I think you’re doing a great job.” The crowd has slowed down a bit, just enough for Theo to stop and sit beside her and take half of the sandwich she’d gotten from a neighboring booth. He reaches over and touches his half to hers, saying cheers before digging in.

They watch the bustle of the momentarily thinned-out crowd, most booth owners pausing for lunch just as they are. Theo leans back on one arm, kicking his long legs out in front of him. He’s in his typical dress-khaki colored cargo shorts, a Henley, and Birkenstocks. He wears a little honeybee button on his shirt, only a slight contrast to the mustard yellow he’d chosen to wear. Demeter watches him intently, attempts to gauge his mood and predict his reaction.

As always, Theo is calm; a patch of sunshine manifesting in a tall, well-built body and a goofy sort of smile. He takes the day in stride, gets up to help another customer and ends up chatting with them for a long while, asking about her family and the kids she hadn’t brought to the market that day. Even as a newcomer he knows these details, knows the people who have become Demeter’s community. She’s struck by the brightness with which he maneuvers conversation, how he’s able to strike up conversation with seemingly anyone that walks by his booth. In the moments where it’s just them, he shares stories of growing up at the apiary.

“My grandfather seems like he’d be really stern-mean. He likes to put up this front that nobody believes because in reality, he’s the nicest man you’ll ever meet. My mom was a stay-at-home mom all my life, and my dad worked with my grandfather. He’s the son-in-law; my grandfather never had any actual sons. But my dad took over where nobody else would. He wanted to help. I always admired that about him. Besides, I love being at the farm. What about you?”

Demeter lets her curls fall over her shoulders, shrugs and turns her cheek against the sun to look back at him. She’s neither upset or enthused, simply relaying the facts of her story, the way she’d gotten to where she is.

“I grew up in the city. My father left us when I was old enough to feel the sting of it, my mother worked and became obsessed with things. It was always about what she could buy, never about when she could be with me. My nana owned this beautiful, tiny little farmhouse I used to be able to visit once a week for a sleepover, when my mom would work overnights and get sick of having me around. I helped her with all the chores. It was my favorite time of the week-I looked forward to it more than anything else. She was a tiny woman, got more of my dad’s genes than my mom’s. I was taller than her by a head or two, but she still called me her little one. She used to let me eat her tomatoes right off the stem, full bite like an apple.” She laughs at the memory, freckle-dappled skin glowing gold against the warmth of the day. “I moved out here right when I graduated high school, right when she started getting sick. I took care of her until her last day. She left that beautiful little house to me, and now I’m watching it like she watched me.”

Theo nods attentively, puts one hand over hers on the grass.

“Well, for what it’s worth I think your nana knows that her house is in good hands.” He smiles, boundless optimism showing as he holds a jar of golden honey to the sun, opens it and sticks a wooden spoon inside. In one swift movement he’s eaten it, offered her the jar to do the same. She dips in, bumps her stick against his and feels the soothing texture coat her throat.

“Hey Theo?” The anxiety settles at the base of her heart when he turns to look at her, and suddenly things aren’t as clear as they had been when she’d woken up. The reality between what she believes in her soul dances threateningly along societal norms, a friendship she does not want to break. And when he hums, holds out the honey for her to dip her spoon again, she feels herself walk right to that precipice. “Can I show you my nana’s house?”

#hadestown #hadestown modern #demeter #demeter and theo #bee man #young demeter #danielle writes

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quirkykayleetam · 5 years ago

Text

The Courier: Cloud City

“Cloud City is a beautiful place to die,” the smuggler said. The muzzle of his blaster pressed into the Courier’s back. “After all, where else can you get this view?”

Pressing the Courier against the gilded silver railing of the balcony, he gestured at the sky.

The pair stood at the very top of Cloud City’s 100-story dome. Around and beneath them clouds, soft and white, filled the robin’s egg blue of the sky. Tourists and drivers in cloud cars zipped through the space around the station, leaving slight streaks of silver in the ether

It was beautiful from the top, sure, but the Courier couldn’t help looking down.

Perched 59,000 kilometers above the planet Bespin, Cloud City promised a sickening death for anyone who stepped of its beautifully crafted pleasure decks. Its domed upper stories tapered off into a straight spindle that held the station’s Tibanna gas mines and the homes of its miners. The smooth silver chrome of its sides gleamed in the sunlight, but didn’t allow any hand holds for anyone scrambling for life as they fell.

The Courier’s head spun as she contemplated the dizzying drop.

Her captor twitched the blaster and the Courier turned to face him. Her back pressed painfully into the railing, the only thing keeping her alive.

“Now, we both know I could just shoot you. I’ve done more to thieves for less. But I’d rather not disturb these fine folks.”

The smuggler spared a glance for the crowds around them, dressed in feathers and gold, betting more on the spin of a single roulette wheel than most citizens of Cloud City would see in a year. The Pair O’Dice casino was for the best of the best.

“So why don’t we handle this quietly? You have to ask yourself,” he said, shaking the metal briefcase he held in his left hand, “is this tech really worth you life?”

The Courier could barely hear her answer over the blood thumping in her ears.

“Yes,” she said.

In one fluid motion, she lunged.

Her right hand struck true, shocking the smuggler with a hand buzzer she kept hidden in her sleeve. It hurt him just enough to pry his fingers from the handle of the briefcase. The Courier grabbed it, her mind already planning her escape.

Her left hand, moving to grab the blaster, was less successful. The smuggler cursed and pulled the trigger.

Pain.

While the Courier was able to stop the shot from hitting her in her stomach, it blasted a hole in her right thigh. The shot burned, charring a hole in the Courier’s leather pants, through her skin, straight to the bone.

Worse, the power of the blast threw her backwards. The Courier hit the railing at an angle, failed to right herself, and plunged over the side.

It happened so fast that no one heard her scream.

The Courier fell.

Clouds that only seconds ago looked solid and fluffy disappeared beneath her in a puff of water vapor. It coated her jacket and windswept hair. Gods, it was cold.

The Courier’s stomach launched itself into her throat. She tried to just breathe.

It wouldn’t be the fall that would kill her. The Courier knew she would be dead long before that. As soon as she fell through the Life Zone that surrounded the City, the percentage of oxygen in the atmosphere would change. Eventually more and more hydrogen would fill her lungs and she’d die choking long before her lifeless body hit the surface of Bespin below.

The Courier clutched the briefcase to her chest. She closed her eyes.

The force of impact took her by surprise.

The open cargo bay of the short-reach freighter was filled with the thickest mattresses the Courier could purchase on short notice. That didn’t stop the Courier from hitting the ship hard enough to break at least two ribs, jostle her wounded leg, and pepper her body with more bruises than she wanted to think about. She whited out for a moment before staggering to her feet.

If she thought breathing was hard before, it was down-right agony now. Every gasp she took sent knives searing through her chest, making her want to gasp even more. Just standing, all weight on her uninjured right leg was painful. Moving was going to be excruciating.

Still, she could see the freighter’s captain moving in the cab. By now he would have discovered that she’d chartered his ship to park at that particular spot for illegal reasons, not to unload his cargo. He would be contacting the authorities as she panted behind him.

She was alive and she had the case. That’s what was important.

With a labored weaze, the Courier took off down the corridor in front of her. It didn’t take long for the authorities to catch up.

The lower 50 floors of Cloud City were filled with sprawling markets, some more legal than others. Black market tech flourished. It was what had brought the Courier here in the first place.

She winced as she jumped over a cart of hyperdrive generators, landing hard on her wounded leg. She was lucky that Cloud City furnished its interiors with white foam padding. It was ripped here and there in the lower decks, but it still allowed the Courier to perform more acrobatic maneuvers than she usually would. That was probably the only thing that kept her out of range of the authority’s stun guns.

Grunting, the fugitive jumped into a work hatch. There was a ladder, but she didn’t take the time to use it. She simply gripped the rails loosely and slid down as quickly as she could.

The Courier tried counting floors, but the pain in her chest compounded with dizziness in her head from lack of oxygen made it hard to concentrate. She’d have to risk it. Without looking behind her, she picked a work tunnel and ran off.

As soon as she made it through the mine’s double doors, she risked a sigh of relief. The lights were blue.

When Cloud City started its gas mining operation, they recruited Ugnaughts, short porcine humanoids from the planet Gentes to staff the undertaking. While the Courier loved the aliens, especially for their undying loyalty and brilliant drinking songs, she did not relish interrupting one while it was focused on its work. Most urgently, Ugnaught work tunnels weren’t made for human transport. Bathed in red light they were small and oddly shaped. The Courier would be cornered if she ended up in one.

There was pounded on the door behind her. The Courier was running out of time.

Last ditch effect it was then.

Gathering together the last of her energy, the Courier pressed the big red button beside her, held her breath, and ran for her life.

Tibanna gas from the city’s mines was expensive, but it couldn’t be sold until it was condense into a solid. That meant that each work tunnel contained a carbon-freeze chamber that could flash-freeze anything to 0 degrees Kelvin in less than a second.

The Courier heard shouting behind, but she didn’t look back. She didn’t have the time. When she hit that button, she filled the corridor around her with gas. When it reached capacity, the chamber would activate, freezing everything inside. The Courier had to make it out before then without inhaling Tibana into her lungs.

The doors the Courier needed to reach were right in front of her. If she reached out her hand, she thought she could feel them. But they were already closing, ready to seal the tunnel off and her vision was going black around the edges as her aching chest demanded air, air, air.

Closing her eyes, the Courier jumped, aiming to torpedo her body through the closing hole in the middle of the doors. It wasn’t graceful. Her wounded leg hit the side of the shrinking doorway, leaving blood and burned cloth behind. That knocked her body sideways so her shoulder hit too with a sickening crunch. In the end, the Courier had to hit the ground flailing, crawling forward desperately so her feet wouldn’t get crushed behind her.

But she made it. She clutched the suitcase to her chest and breathed.

She was alive. She had the tech. Nobody was going to stop her now.

***

It took the Courier several hours to maneuver her way back up a few floors from where she landed. Her object was in the middle of the city’s winding white corridors, but she found it eventually. It was what she did.

There was a door. The Courier knocked.

“Delivery for Ginnifer Oswin.”

“We...I didn’t order anything,” the young woman at the door said.

The Courier undid the buckle on the briefcase, showing her what was inside.

“No, but I think you’ll want this.”

“Oh…! I mean...we....” She almost dropped the suitcase in her urge to get at it, turning behind her at the same time. “Lena! Lena, you won’t believe…!”

When she looked again, the Courier was gone.

Inside the cramped miner’s apartment, Ginnifer Oswin took the device out of the briefcase and applied it to her 8-year-old daughter’s spine. It sank into the skin, fusing with the vertebrae there and sending wiring throughout the whole of the girl’s nervous system.

“Mom? Mom!” Lena cried out. “I can feel my toes!”

For the first time in years the paralized girl took a step on her own.

Somewhere in the depths of the station, the Courier limped away, smiling.

For Lena and her mother, she thought, Cloud City should be a beautiful place to live.

Hello! This is fulfilling the “Hurts to Breathe” square for @badthingshappenbingo

It’s was also part of a challenge for me to write “Environmental Whump” in an otherworldly venue. I must confess that Cloud City is not my invention. It belongs to the Star Wars universe and can be read about extensively on Wookiepedia. I hope you’ll find that I did my research well.

Tagging some folks who were interested in this piece: @stoic-whumpee, @untilthepainstarts, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog, @whumposaurus, @burtlederp, @straight-to-the-pain

#Whump #Hurts to Breathe #Bad Things Happen Bingo #Original Characters #Star Wars Whump #Broken Ribs #Falling #Running from the Authorities #Lady Whump #Shot #SciFi Whump #quirkykayleetam writes

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eleanor-writes-stuff · 6 years ago

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warning: may impair decision-making abilities [ficlet]

Rey finds herself dealing with some pretty impulsive urges when she and Ben visit Rose and Finn’s new baby for the first time.

Second ficlet of the day! Have some soft Reylo with a side of soft FinnRose and the latest addition to their family, little Paige Tico-Trooper. She’s adorable. So adorable, in fact, that Rey can’t think straight.

Also available on AO3. And hey, maybe check out my Twitter and Ko-fi?

“We’re naming her Paige,” Rose whispers as she passes the baby into Rey’s arms.

“Oh, Rose,” Rey whispers as she sets eyes upon little Paige Tico-Trooper for the very first time. “It’s perfect. She’s perfect.”

The proud new mom beams despite the exhaustion that clings to her every molecule, and her careful eyes follow Rey as she walks the baby over to Ben and Finn.

Rey manages to look away from Paige for all of two seconds to smile at Ben. “Love, look at her. Isn’t she–”

The newborn chooses that exact moment to yawn, her eyes fluttering shut as her little mouth forms a perfect little O, and the entire room coos in unison.

“She’s adorable,” Ben tells a grinning Rose as he looms over his wife and little Paige. So much of this reminds Rey of her own time in this wing of the hospital just three years ago, of a tiny yet reassuring weight in her arms while Ben hovered over the both of them like an overprotective mother hen–

Now he brings one hand to stroke Paige’s closed fist and, as if in slow-motion, everyone watches as the baby slowly uncurls her hand only to wrap it around Ben’s pointer finger.

And just like that, Rey knows.

She’s torn between the sight of Paige happily drifting off while still holding onto Ben and the soft look of awe on her husband’s face, and as her eyes flit back and forth the impulse grabs hold of her and refuses to let go.

“Ben…” Rey whispers, looking up at him with a little smile playing on her lips.

The look on his face instantly transforms into one of trepidation. Never let it be said that he doesn’t know her better than anyone else in the world.

“You said never again,” he reminds her even as his finger stays curled up in Paige’s hand, her gentle giant loathe to disturb the sleeping baby.

From the corner of her eye, she catches Finn whipping his head around to stare at them.

“I know, but–”

“You threatened me with a vasectomy, Rey,” Ben whispers heatedly, a little too loudly if Finn’s sudden bark of laughter behind them is anything to go by.

Rey gives him her best puppy dog eyes. He’s always been much better at it than her, but she likes to think maybe it’s rubbed off on her after all these years. “I did, but I wasn’t in my right mind–”

Paige’s grip finally goes slack, allowing Ben to step back from the both of them. “You crushed my hand!”

Right, that. Ben’s fingers had been bruised for two whole days after. Nothing compared to what she’d gone through, of course – and he’d been quick to remind her of that every time she experienced a sudden, irrational surge of guilt –, but Rey still needs to fight the urge to wince at the reminder.

Still, she will not be that easily deterred.

Adjusting the baby in her arms, Rey takes a deep breath as she decides to pull out the big guns.

“But Meira was worth it, wasn’t she?”

In the background, Rose and Finn let out matching, drawn-out oohs.

And Ben… Ben softens pretty much immediately. “Of course she’s worth it,” he agrees as one hand comes to rest on her waist, careful not to bump into her arm. “Any kid of ours is worth the universe, Rey. You know that. But are you sure–?”

Rey nods. “Look at her, Ben,” she nods at the little bundle in her arms. “She reminds me so much of Meira… I know pregnancy wasn’t easy. Believe me, I remember. And I know labor was hell, and the sleepless nights were too, and god knows it’ll probably be even more challenging with a three-year-old thrown into the mix this time around. But…” Rey looks at the baby in her arms, basks in the love and joy that fills this room. She remembers all of this too – the way her heart had suddenly grown too big for her chest, the way the world stopped the first time Meira opened her eyes, the way everything felt just right when she finally held her little baby, her child made purely of love…

“I want another one,” Rey decides with a smile as she brings one hand up to trace the curve of Paige’s round little cheek. “Ben, I want another baby.”

A moment passes between them, Ben searching her eyes for resolution before he very, very carefully leans down to press his forehead to hers. “Me too, sweetheart.”

In her mind she can see it all already, see it all again – the fun they’ll have trying, the giddiness of every new morning bringing with it the possibility of… And after, knowing she’s growing a life inside of her, falling more and more in love every day, going to sleep in Ben’s arms with his arm slung protectively over their child–

It’s a perfectly beautiful moment, ruined only by Finn pointedly clearing his throat.

“Hey, guys. So this is super exciting–”

“Paige is gonna have a little cousin her age!” Rose squeals, mustering what little energy she has left to express her excitement.

“– but, um, maybe give us ours back before you go off to make one of your own?”

“Oh.” Ben immediately steps away from her, giving her space to maneuver the sleeping baby back into Finn’s waiting arms.

“Right,” Rey mutters to herself as she adjusts Paige’s head in the crook of her father’s arm. “We didn’t forget, I swear.”

“Just got carried away, I know,” Finn smiles at her. After all, he’s been there since the very beginning; he knows better than anyone the way she and Ben get lost in their own little world sometimes. “Now off you go, lovebirds. Never too early to start trying, right?”

Ben chokes on his own saliva.

“Finn!” Rey laughs, careful to keep her voice quiet.

“Have fun, you two!” Rose calls from her spot on the bed. “See you on the other side in nine months, I guess.”

The new parents keep up a stream of suggestive, supportive comments until a blushing Ben finally drags a laughing Rey out of the room.

“Your friends are ridiculous,” Ben mumbles along the curve of her shoulder when he leans down to hide his red cheeks.

“Our friends,” Rey reminds him with a bright smile. “After all, you’re already Paige’s Uncle Ben.”

It still surprises her sometimes, how far they’ve come since she first crashed Finn’s office holiday party to give his perfectionist boss a piece of her mind. But here they are seven years later, married with a kid and hopefully another one on the way.

Rey pushes Ben off her and takes his hand. “Come on, we can probably swing by Dr. Kanata’s office and ask her about removing my IUD.”

Ben squeezes her hand to get her attention. “Rey, are you really sure about this?”

It’s sudden, she knows, but it’s not like they’ve never discussed this. Having both grown up as painfully lonely children under wildly different circumstances, they’d agreed long before Meira was born to have at least two kids.

And now suddenly feels like the perfect time to finally make good on that.

“I love you so much,” she tells Ben, cupping his cheek in her free hand. “And I love Meira with all my heart, and I know I’ll love any other baby of ours just the same. So yes, Ben, I’m sure. I’m very, very sure.”

Ben brings his other hand to rest over hers, removes it from his cheek and brings it to his lips. “I love you too,” he murmurs, lips brushing along her inner wrist. “And I love this baby already.”

Rey reaches up on her tiptoes to press a chaste kiss to his lips. “Come on, then. The sooner we get home, the sooner we can start… practicing.”

Her laughter fills the hallway when Ben nearly trips over thin air in his haste to rush to the elevator.

. . .

And a year later, that very hallway echoes with the beautiful, shrill cries of their baby boy.

Here’s another one that was supposed to be maybe 800 words at most. I really didn’t have anything outlined except for the part where Rey tries to convince Ben, so... yeah, I winged it. Fingers crossed it turned out okay!

As always, thank you for reading and I hope this sparked joy. Please don’t hesitate to like/reblog/comment! <3

#reylo #rey x ben #kylo ren/rey #rey/kylo ren #rey/ben solo #star wars #rey #ben solo #kylo ren #my fics #ficlet: warning #series: ao3 reblog #fic archive

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