#worst possible place to be monogamous

[markantonys]

the single best thing the show could do for the polycule is a very simple change: make it happen on purpose. make all four members work together from the beginning to set up a poly relationship intentionally, rather than stumbling into one due to a mix of miscommunication and Fate Said So.

in the books, rand thinks he's having a series of unconnected romantic encounters with three different women and has no idea a polycule is developing until the women come to him to propose the final product. it is documented that the reason rj wrote it this way is because it's inspired by a similar situation he was once in, so i can't exactly blame him for writing based off personal experience, but it does cause several problems in the story.

Problems:

a) rand has little to no input on his own relationship(s) and spends the whole series being extremely passive in his love life. this makes him come across as at best a victim to the whims of his partners who is not allowed to express what HE wants out of the relationship, and at worst an asshole who doesn't really care about any of them as people and doesn't care what arrangements the three of them work out so long as he gets to fuck SOMEONE. it also means that the romances don't have as much of an emotional impact on him/his character development as they should (and as they do on the women) because he's just kinda floating along going "oh whatever you guys want, makes no difference to me."

b) elayne and aviendha get a bad fandom rap as being bad partners to rand because they confuse him on purpose and play games with him. like most of elayne's (in particular) bad fandom raps, this is an unfair exaggeration, but it's rooted in the fact that rj wanted rand to wind up in a polycule by accident rather than helping arrange a polycule on purpose, which means that rand has to hook up with 3 different women in a row without realizing that a polycule is brewing, without having discussed the idea of additional partner(s) with his prior partner(s) and gotten their permission to hook up with other people, AND without coming across as a cheater. which means that rand has to believe himself sufficiently broken up with the prior woman before he can hook up with the next one, which means that elayne has to send him conflicting letters so that he can get away with hooking up with aviendha and aviendha has to freeze him out so that he can get away with hooking up with min.

("they're just greedy/indecisive/cheaters" is probably the biggest harmful stereotype against poly people, and the above approach from the books flirts with that far too much, so the show definitely needs to change that. the majority of people have a very very difficult time understanding polyamory (just look at tumblr, where even the ~wokest~ WOT fans are saying the polycule should be split up into 2 monogamous pairings bc they think the poly aspect is "weird" and they insist that elayne Actually loves aviendha the most or rand Actually loves min the most and that they can't possibly REALLY mean it when they say they love multiple people equally), which is why it's especially important that the show portray it in a way where it's abundantly clear that it's not cheating or rand being greedy/indecisive/stringing a bunch of women along.)

c) the problem for the other 3's approach to the polycule is miscommunication. the problem for min's is Fate Said So. she is rammed into the polycule by prophecy rather than by spending enough time with the other parties to come to want it on her own, and so she coasts along on "you have to let me join your relationship because it's fated to happen no matter what" rather than needing to put in the same work elayne and aviendha do of bonding with each other, making an effort to learn about aiel polyamory practices (in elayne's case), and growing to genuinely want to share their partner with each other and to genuinely enjoy seeing the other happy with him.

the result is min feeling out of place in the relationship: elayne constantly thinks about how she loves rand and aviendha equally, then sometimes hastily adds min as an afterthought; aviendha is very firm that she can't share rand with elayne until they're first-sisters, but shrugs and makes an exception for min for no reason (but then proceeds to think how she wishes she didn't have to share her partner with a near-stranger); min barely cares about the other two and frequently thinks how she wishes she could just have rand to herself and it's unfair that she has to share him. it's a very glaring contrast how elayne and aviendha come to feel genuine joy and compersion at rand's love for the other, while the most positive thought min ever has is "if i HAVE to share (which i'd rather not), then elayne isn't the worst option for a co-partner."

on this last point, monogamous people forcing themselves to try out polyamory for their poly partner's sake (which is absolutely how book!min comes across) is something that happens and gets people hurt irl, and contributes to the societal misconception that polyamory never works out long term and that a choice will inevitably have to be made (again, see tumblr deciding that the endgame will have to be elayne & aviendha happily monogamous in caemlyn and reddit that it will have to be rand & min happily monogamous traveling the world). so if the show is going to portray polyamory, imo it has a responsibility to show that it is a viable long-term relationship type that people can be genuinely happy in. thus, all 4 parties need to choose this type of relationship because they want it, not because fate said they had to, and especially min since she's the one who is the most explicitly in the "only doing this bc fate" camp in the books (whereas rand, elayne, and aviendha all come across as genuinely polyamorous people who likely would have settled on this arrangement even without prophecy foreknowledge).

Solutions:

i made a post recently-ish with a hypothetical timeline for 8 seasons of the show, so if i make any unexplained assumptions in this section about what seasons various characters will be spending time together during, that's where they came from.

i feel pretty confident that rand/aviendha will be the first romance we see in the show, since he's still getting over his much-more-serious-than-the-book-version relationship with egwene and it would make sense to give him season 2 to finish that up and to hold off on new romance for him until season 3. i'm predicting he and aviendha will also meet elayne at falme in 2x08, but i also expect the characters will set off on their TSR roadtrips by the end of 3x01 at the latest, which gives rand and elayne no more than 1-2 episodes together - enough to establish Crush Vibes, but not enough to actually have anything happen between them. so, the show will go out of order and start with rand/aviendha.

which is a perfect way of changing the polycule from accidental to intentional! having rand's first romance be with the partner who is from a poly-aware culture means that the entire set of relationships is now being built off a poly-aware base. from the get-go, aviendha can explain the concept of polyamory to rand and make it clear to him that she is comfortable with that sort of relationship, which means that they can get together and stay together rather than needing to backslide so that rand has an excuse to go off and fuck other people. he doesn't need excuses if he instead has permission! also, rand/elayne not having happened yet would mean aviendha has no reason to feel guilty and pull away from rand after sleeping with him.

so, rand and aviendha are solidly together and poly-curious by the time they reunite with elayne in s4. aviendha can see that rand and elayne like each other, so she encourages them to get together, and rand/elayne can indeed get together without rand/aviendha needing to be tanked first since rand and aviendha are both on the same pro-poly page. elayne knows a little about polyamory from meeting bain and chiad at falme (and maybe from meeting alanna or other greens at the tower), and she has feelings for rand but also likes aviendha and doesn't want to interfere with their relationship, so she is happy to agree to the arrangement. but she still has plenty to learn about aiel ways and about aviendha, and aviendha wants to become first-sisters as is proper, so even without aviendha having toh to elayne for banging rand, the two of them still have a reason to want to bond and grow closer (and for the show, this arc will result in them falling in love instead of or in addition to becoming first-sisters).

so we've fixed the narrative relying on miscommunication to get rand, elayne, and aviendha into the polycule. now to fix the reliance on Fate Said So for min. we can safely say that she's already had her 3-women viewing judging by that line in s1, so she already knows the polycule is fated. this in itself is fine - wrestling with knowing you're fated to love someone is an interesting character arc if done well and done sparingly [sideeyes rj on both counts]. what needs to be changed is how min USES this foreknowledge.

don't have her share it with elayne, aviendha, or rand until after the four of them have gotten together naturally. have her discuss the viewing with her aunts in s2 (or, hell, even with mat, could be a good way to contribute to the friendship they're supposed to have at the end of the series) instead of with elayne, and have her say she knows who 2/3 of the other people are but would never want to tell them about this viewing because it sucks to know you're fated to love someone before it's happened and she'd hate to burden anyone else with that knowledge. have her keep the viewing to herself because she wants rand and elayne (and aviendha, tho min doesn't yet know who she is) to have the freedom to fall in love by choice, even though she herself can't have that freedom. (shit, now that i write it out i actually LOVE the idea of mat being the one she's having this convo with since he too will soon be struggling with a Fated Romance.)

in the books, by telling elayne soon after meeting her that she'll have to share her boyfriend with 2 others and then in salidar going "one of them is me btw so you'd better give me permission to fuck your boyfriend when i see him soon," it feels like min is using her viewing to bully elayne (and later aviendha) into letting her join the relationship. min telling rand in eotw that he shouldn't bother with egwene because they won't end up together also contributes to this vibe, and the show has thankfully already cut out that moment, so i have high hopes that they're attempting to make min more..........empathetic, i guess, in terms of how she uses her viewings. book!min is understandably afraid of being left out in the cold since she doesn't know which if any of them rand will love back, so she uses her viewings to prime the other parties to be willing to Let Her In when the time comes, basically, but it's still kind of a shitty thing to do. however, so far, due to being older and much more mature and much more reluctant to share viewings, show!min gives me the vibes that she would rather quietly resign herself to unrequited love than have to burden other people with the knowledge that their love is Foretold (particularly once she comes to view elayne as a friend in s2).

so, if min doesn't share the viewing with elayne and aviendha in advance, then she will have to join the relationship naturally, by spending time with and getting to know all 3 parties, rather than by telling them they have to let her in because Fate Said So. i see space for all 4 of them to be in the same place together during season 4, while avirandlayne is brewing but min is still just a friend, so that would be a great time for min to bond with them all prior to getting with rand (and maybe as a result, rand develops a crush on her and confesses it to elayne and aviendha, who are happy to give him permission because they already know and like min; alternately, rand has an obvious crush on min but is totally oblivious about it, so elayne and aviendha tease him like "if there is...............anyone else you're interested in.............maybe a certain bartender............you can totally go for it" and rand is adorably baffled as to why they believe he has a crush on min, and then in season 5 he finally Realizes).

and like, wouldn't it be so cute if after the four of them are in a committed polycule, min finally says "hey, i actually had a viewing ages ago that this would happen, but i didn't want to tell you guys and make you feel pressured to love each other" and they all have a good laugh about it together? that would be SO cute!

so, overall, the seeds of a wonderful polycule are there in the books, and the show doesn't have to make a TON of tweaks to help it live up to its best potential! i'm really excited to see what they do with it because it's such a unique romance storyline and one of my favorite aspects of the series, it just needs the Updating For 2020s touch (and the Updating To Reflect The Way Real Human Adults Behave And Communicate With Each Other touch) that the show has so far excelled at applying.

[shouldiusemyname]

Only Friends - The Voice of the 80's Babies

Long post

Inspired by this post by @chicademartinica and bestie @thegalwhorants's comment about the wardrobe. Also this post from @blmpff which really made me think I'm in the right direction...

Before I get into this I just wanna say that I'm posting this very hesitantly as it's a very personal view of this show (possibly within the Jojo-verse). I might be reading too much into this and projecting my own experience and the fact that Jojo is about my age, but OF feels very much a reaction of my generation. I realize that most of what I'm going to say will sound familiar and relevant to everyone (not just 80's babies) but I'll try to explain the difference between what I read as a general generational experience and a universal experience.

I said it before and after watching the first ep it has never been clearer that Only Friends is what happens when 80's babies are given a chance to settle scores.

Everything about this show screams I WAS A TEENAGER IN THE 90'S!

First of all - the clothes! EVERYTHING they're wearing is like it's taken from my high school photos 😅 I know fashion is fluid and trends will make a comeback periodically, but given what I feel they're trying to say, I believe it's intentional.

The Sex of it All

It's like a direct reaction to the way we were raised and the relationship my generation has with sex. This is very regional and cultural, but generally speaking sex was not discussed as a natural aspect of life and relationships. Sex was either shameful, dirty, reproductive, or (the worst option) over discussed without healthy boundaries. My parents' generation didn't have the tools to discuss sex with their children in a healthy way because they were also denied this conversation by their parents. So, they either hid it or overshared.

So, my generation was raised (by western media basically) believing that everyone must have sex and our social standing is directly linked to whether or not we were having sex (who said American Pie?). We weren't given the option to have different views. We were trapped by this extremely deformed view of sex and relationships.

Watching this show and the discussion around it feels like creators are calling bullshit on everything we were told about sex.

Stuck in the Middle

I'm going to generalise here, but basically people who are just slightly older than us (meaning my generation) have this very black and white attitude towards sex - there's the right time to start having sex, your partner matters (in the way that you should be in love or in a relationship), relationships are monogamous, and kink is a deviation (don't even get me started on queerness - you were either gay, straight, or a crossdresser).

On the other hand, 90's babies were born into a much wider and open world that gave them the opportunity to get a much broader picture and view about relationships and how sex plays into them. This is even as basic as just having a wider vocabulary to talk about it.

My generation was, however, stuck in the middle, left to really hindsight our way through our perception of sex and its place in relationships.

In my 20's I've witnessed so many conversations where people were analyzed over the fact that they choose not to have sex like there's something wrong with them. Why are you not having sex? What's wrong with you? You're waiting for love? - don't waste your time. You're just going to fuck whoever? - that's just wrong. There's no winning.

Furthermore, when considering what Jojo said about the discussion around queer sex in queer shows and bl - my generation was raised with the idea that being queer (which was then just being gay) was all about who you have sex with. No one ever said anything about love or gender. When I was figuring out my own sexuality, being queer was about who you wanted to sleep with, not who you loved. We still see this today when people believe that our queerness is defined by whether or not we are having queer sex, and I believe this is at least part of what @bengiyo is talking about when he talks about the internalised homophobia. This is so much of my generation carrying and passing it on because we were denied these conversations.

So Now What?

Now, creating a show that is about sex, queer sex, and how it plays into queer relationships is reclaiming the conversation about queerness as an expression of love as well as sexuality. We deserve to discuss these issues as a generation that was denied these conversations whether queer or not. And somehow, these issues are discussed more freely and openly within queerness as it has the advantage of being free of heteronormative notions.

Another reason I believe this is generational is the fact that Jojo is consistently having this discussion within his shows. I don't know how to explain it, but his shows feel like screaming liberation, like he's walking around with a baseball bat (preferably Only Friends branded) and smashing these false ideas one by one. Which is why I believe we need to look at this show as part of the Jojo-verse shows along with The Warp Effect, 3 will be free and Gay OK Bangkok. Jojo is on a mission.

Expression Within The Show

Ok, so what am I getting at after I had you read my trip to the shrink?

I believe that ALL OF THIS is expressed in the show through the group dynamics we see in our friend group. They all represent different notions and they will fight over dominance. This is the power struggle that my generation is trapped in. We need and deserve to say our peace.

This is what I meant when I said that OFTS is what happens when you're an 80's baby with shit to say.

As usual thank you for reading my ramblings. I hope you get what I'm trying to say, and clearly have issues 😅 so feel free to comment and give perspective...

[dailyanarchistposts]

Antagonizing Polyamory & Polynormativity

Just to be clear, while monogamous couples are the worst offenders, Polyamory does not escape this critique. Polyamory is built on the same foundations of the Relationship Escalator, amatonormativity, enforcement of commitment, and control of others’ behaviors and desires. There may be more flexibility in the interpersonal agreements made by partners in Polyamorous relationships as compared to strict monogamous ones (for example, lack of total sexual exclusivity and more explicit communication about expectations instead of following the default model); however, there is still a clear divide who is “in a relationship” and that confers a near-identical set of social privileges and coercive power dynamics.

Some of the challenges Poly folks rally around — like feeling unable to be “out” to family members about important people in their lives and a lack of State-sanctioned marital rights — are not exclusive to Polyamory nor are they addressed by performance of Monogamism in sets of three, four, or an interconnected web of couples built on control and coercion of “partners” (both directly and through third-party consent). Polyamory does not disrupt mono-normativity; rather, it is an assimilationist approach that simply aims to include more people under its particular brand of oppression. Using “partner” to describe people relating in this way may be accurate — and is still not an effective argument for the legitimacy of “partners” in any worthwhile vision of Queer liberation.

What about the (re-)naming of queerplatonic relationships (QPR) as queerplatonic partners (QPP)? This appropriation of queerplatonic to fit it into a partner model — a framework that necessarily reinforces amatonormativity by privileging romantic and coupled relationships with the social roles discussed above — is antithetical to the original utility of the term. While queerplatonic was originally intended to describe non-normative relationships that do not adhere to the romantic-sexual-couple model, assimilationist neoliberal forces have wrested this terminology from the communities that created it. QPP fails to address the harms of “partner,” and even QPR is still a relationship label that differentiates a “type” of relationship to form a de facto social hierarchy. Breaking down the belief that couples and romantic-sexual relationships are the best or only place for many forms of intimacy, vulnerability, and collaborative life projects creates the possibility for any of one’s relationships (broadly, as any shared interaction with others) to take on these roles. It can be hard to build relationships that challenge amatonormativity and monogamism, as those ideas are actively forced on us almost every moment from many directions. Do not neutralize this difficult and revolutionary work by falling back on dominant terminology that will be used against all of us! QPP is yet another form of refashioning Queer relationships in the form of straight coupledom, relying on the same harmful structures that keep people trapped in that model. Let’s break down the validity of “partners” altogether, instead of finding ways for Queer folks to pander to and recapitulate mono-cis-het-normativity!

[cinemaocd]

this is probably going to be long

OK, I lived through the AIDS crisis. I was a young person questioning my sexuality at arguably the worst possible time in American history. I discovered the word "bisexual" (hooray I have a label) only to read a few days later in mainstream news about how "bisexuals were responsible for spreading AIDS to the hetero community" which was a take that was tolerated on national news shows at the time. The only sex education I had in my entire public education was a film we were forced to watch about how you could get AIDS from french kissing (you can't) and heavy petting (which we didn't know what it was because it was outdated old people code for oral lol)...

The entire LGBTQIA plus community was not attacked as a monolith, the focus of hate came on gay men, because they were the most obviously effected and also the most visible and prominent in the community. The rest of the community did their best to embrace and protect them. (For example lesbian groups that were on the front lines of caring for people who were sick when no one else would...).

And there were people like myself who identified as allies but were in a place where they didn't feel safe to come out themselves. I did not come out at that time because even though I was in accepting local community at University and working at a feminist journal I knew I would lose friends and family and possibly future work opportunities. Being Bi it was easier to blend in for me and I took advantage of that. Part of the reason I hesitated so long about coming out was I felt a lot of guilt that I didn't come out in the 90s during the AIDS crisis. I felt like a coward who wasn't worthy to stand with such brave people.

It took me a long time to let go of that self-hate to the point where I could come out. A big part of it was acknowledging how fucked up the climate for LGBTQIA folks in the 80s and 90s. We had two family friends (which is how I knew I would probably be rejected by a lot of my family) who died of AIDS. Yes, these were brilliant, creative men who worked in theater. One of them was the props coordinator for Late Night with David Letterman (responsible for building Dave's velcro suit etc.). I also have a peer who died of AIDS in the early 2000s, long after the disease had supposedly been "not a death sentence" who also happened to be an actor.

Despite their lack of political involvement, they were be seen as radical just because they lived openly as gay men in a society that hated them and wanted them dead, and only tolerated them if they were the "fun gays" who weren't actually threatening the status quo...

Being in theater or the arts was a survival tactic for a lot of people ya know because it was a more accepting environment and because it wasn't considered important like politics, medicine, science etc. (Miss me with the gays can't do math jokes. A gay man invented the fucking computer).

The gay men I knew in long-term monogamous relationships survived the worst of the crisis and they automatically became "respectability queers" for having not died and wanting jobs with health insurance etc. Because one dude follows his dream of working in theater and the other quits theater and goes to work at the phone company and buys a house with his partner, one is fun and the other boring? One is a creative genius creating culture and the other is a consumer of cultural pap? Wow. Great take.

FUCK. I'm just getting so angry thinking about this. You want to know why it took me till I was FIFTY fucking years old to come out: AIDS. That's it. ONE Fucking word.

Sorry I have no idea WHY I fucking started this other than I saw a shitty post that said, our culture became boring because all the fun gays died and left only the boring gays who only care about marriage or whatever.

[halloweenrazorcandii]

Monster - Dodie. @anonbinaryweirdo Zephyrine scene.

"Well this ends bad then. I knew it would. We knew it would, So we won't eat our words, 'Cause they don't taste good." Zephyrine has always had a feeling, a funny feeling. That her marriage and seemingly monogamous love for the funny, prepped demon father, King of Hell, she thought she would last lifetimes with. Whatever a lifetime in hell is, anyway. As soon as the dreaded Lilith had shown to their door, there's been a sinking boat in her vixen senses she hadn't noticed until she felt she needed to slam herself as far away from her husband as possible. Their son growing fond of the former Queen of Hell, she felt she couldn't drag him away. She'd see them post pictures having fun on Sinstagram, going to hells luxury firey lakes, having fun. Lilith cooking her former husband dinner, happily serving Zephyrine's child, along with Lucifers she'd grown fond of. Like a family. No matter the tears and fears that had grown to the fox breed, no matter how many times she'd tear the fur from her tail or tug on her horns in agony upon just the thought of missing her life, she'd never gotten the audacity to let herself back in. "Look, I know that I've seen this before. High and mighty, at the top of your list, Adoring every move, and now my rank is sinking. But we're both guilty of black or white thinking. And through my red eyes, you look pale. All of your scars, Now look more like scales." 7 Months. 7 months without her family. During these times she'd confided in her loved friend, Angel Dust, a pornographical actor. He'd undergone some unfair treatment at his studio, since he'd "worked" there. Despite her not confirming the spiders own theories of her new behavior, she'd still appreciated his comfort. Though she felt she couldn't even find the feeling to appreciate. When Angel had come to the hotel with a black eye and slumped figure, Zephyrine had enough. She, one night, had strided to his studio, owned by infamous overlord Valentino. She had striken a deal with the overlord for Angel Dust's time of abuse to be replaced by her. She became popular by the viewers fast, Valentino using her body for all sorts of entertainment. She'd started appearing on bigger screens, deemed the audience. She hadn't enjoyed this. Not a bit. "I'm guessing that I've grown horns, I guess I'm human no more I can tell I've rotted in your brain. Oh how easily passion twists, You think I'm a crazy bitch. A thousand words are left unsaid, 'Cause no one listens to the dead. So maybe I will talk to you the only way I know how to. I've said my speech, through sharpened teeth." While at work, Valentino commands a new form of entertainment. Muzzling. The device is set on her, her fur sleek, she'd already been worn and used. The notice of the muzzle instantly clicks with the vixen, and she doesn't like it. At all. Her performance being shown on a big screen, just outside Lucifers tower, for all to see. All, to see. The crowd around the screen eminent. Zephyrine begins to growl. Her sharp fox canines peaking from her dirtied lips. Her claws hooking on anything they can find, and after being kicked by Val to "calm down", she goes batshit. From worker to worker anyone in her way, mauled. In desperate attempts to take off the Muzzle, she panics, scurrying around the studio, already breaking the chain attached to it. While the scene displayed on live hell camera, from the Voxtech Horns channel, it just so happened the King of Hell was looking out his window as his worst nightmare shone upon to the entirety of the Pride ring. It was almost as if the violence in the porn was being taunted. Was this planned? Lucifer began to shake. After failed, desperate attempts to subdue the rabid animal let loose in their studio, an employee, a likely familiar one at that, resorts to last option. Click. . . . Boom. The silence rattled all of Hell. Lucifer turnt away, only to find two of his sons, frozen in place, eyes locked to the device.

[timeslostart]

April 15th, 2025

I ALWAYS CHEAT ON MY KNITTING - A MONOGAMOUS KNITTER I AM NOT!

Could perfectionism have something to do with it?... 

Lately, you could say that I've been on a journey of self-discovery.  If you've read some of my previous posts, you would know that, originally, I started TLA in 2012 as a cross-stitch design business on Etsy.  It wasn't actually until late 2017 that I started selling my knitting patterns.  (read my post "The Road To Fashion" if you would like to know more about how I got started selling my knitting patterns)  So after a decade of knitting I've come to a few conclusions about myself - mainly, I lack focus.  I don't even know why I lack focus because with cross-stitching, you need the same amount of, if not more, focus than you do with knitting, and I was fine with that craft. 

Maybe it's got something to do with everything being so accessible now.  I mean, when I started cross-stitching, in 2003, the only place where you could buy the supplies and patterns was your local craft store and you were literally at the mercy of what they had.  Online shopping, really, wasn't too much of a thing yet.  We were still mall rats!  Fast forward 22 years (wow I'm making myself sound old!) and you have internet giants, like Ravelry, that have 24/7 access and endless project possibilities.

So, is this why I cheat on my knitting?  Too many options?  Too many new sparkly patterns and yarn catching my attention?  Too much social media hype? (yet another thing that didn't exist in 2003) Or, does it go deeper than the outsided influences?  Why do I feel this incessant need to continually start new projects without finishing the ones I have on my needles already and how can I stop cheating on my knitting and become a monogamous knitter?

It definitely seems like I have a lot of thoughts to sort out.  The one that I do keep coming back to, though, is that I am a perfectionist.  I can be my own worst enemy.  I do compare myself a lot to others.  When you have knitting superstarts like Petite Knit out there it's kinda hard not to.  So maybe the reason why I jump from project to project is because if I don't finish anything then I can't fail at it and compare it to someone else's  I feel like this era of social media has brought a lot of people's insecurities to the forefront and it's really not healthy.  Being constantly bombarded with images and having your work continuously compared to others can be hard to deal with.  Don't get me wrong, criticism, especially, constructive criticism can be a good thing and help you to grow, but, I'm sure that you all know very well by now that most criticism on social media is anything but constructive.  For some reason we all have it in our heads that sitting behind a computer screen allows us to say whatever we want regardless of the effect our words may have on the other person because I think we forget that we are actually talking to another person.  I think being so isolated from actual "in-person" interactions due to technology has made us forget that.

So, knowing and realizing all of these things, how do I fix my multiple knitting project problem?  Well, I feel like I need to drown out the noise and focus more inward.  I know that as a teenager I would add playlists to my MP3 player (dating myself again... I know) and listen to a few hours of music well I was painting and drawing on my kitchen floor. (better not to ask... why I preferred to sit on the floor to draw or paint is a whole other rabbit hole!)  It was nice.  I think, perhaps, if I can re-teach my mind how to flow again that my focus will come back.  So much of our time now is divided up into 10 second intervals, thanks to shorts and reels, and we've forgotten that our mind is actually like a river and by blocking our river with 10 second long dams, that prevent us from truly forming a thought about what we are actually watching and spending time on, we are interrupting our mind's natural process and limiting its true potential.  

I am a perfectionist but the idea behind my perfectionism is that I am not a good enough designer, artist, person, etc. compared to someone else.  However, if I can find a way to keep reminding myself that the people I am comparing myself to are, in fact, people and no more special than I am then I think, maybe, I may just have a fighting chance against my perfectionist tendencies and be able to get over my fear of finishing projects and bringing my ideas to fruition.  Part of this is remembering to disengage from techonology more and let my mind do it's organic thing which is to flow like a river and take inspiration from my surroundings and create!  A healthy mind doesn't need a screen to be entertained, it should be able to entertain itself just by being out and about in the everyday, ordinary, world.  Hopefully, with a little bit of effort and practice I'll be able to become a more monogamous and productve knitter and designer and maybe regain a little bit of that child wide-eyed wonder that I've seemed to have lost through allowing myself to become more relient on my computer and less relient on myself.

Gabrielle Vansteelandt - Times Lost Art

[ledoc-archive]

I can't believe I found this after so long... This was one the first fics I ever read on this site, even before actually having an account. It's the way this writing had me not only weeping but also mumbling through my tears to my friend about how she should read this.

Right off the bat, it starts with a handy topic: cheating. I am a professional advocate of loyalty and protest against cheating as I cannot bring myself to understand how such a thing can happen in the first place. Not because of anything in particular, but in my relationships (friendly, I'm forever single lol) I've always tried my best to allow the communication flowing, and especially in moments of upsetting situations or just plain discomfort, so the thought of someone not really respecting the first boundary of monogamous relationship— which would be the compromise to be with that person only—, just makes my mind explode. I mean... Of course telling them the truth about how you feel is going to sting a lot, no doubt, but that shouldn't really discourage the not-as-of-yet-cheater to talk things through.

STILL, during that time I was going through the WORST Wooyoung brain-rot and because of the lack of critical skills I had back then, I kept on rooting for him. Because that's just how powerful the writing is, liking or not his past actions, as it puts you on his shoes on multiple occasions and shows genuine guilt on his part, you unconsciously become the judge and press him free of charges, because in the way that he's written, you want to root for him. You really do.

Even when there is a more favourable option for the main character, which would be her best friend, Mingi. I believe this to be intentional, how many times we can see progression in their relationship, it is quickly cut off by an apparition of no other than Wooyoung, who comes in and "saves the day". And just like that, whatever moment of a possibility between the two friends dissipates and is rather overshadowed by the following narrative which contains Wooyoung's arch. As the story progresses, he keeps on trying no matter what reaction he gets, and that act of persistence shows devotion, one that wasn't present before. Mind you, I'm not talking through pink tinted glasses, and it is stated that he kept his attempts throughout the passage of quite a long time.

The best part has to be the ending. Wooyoung finally gets to snatch the MC'S and the readers heart, again putting other PRETTY important things that would have consequences later on under the rug. It is after a steamy session that the bell rings, and a fully distraught me wished for it not to be him. Then it all comes like a dive into cold water, THEY HAD A PLAN FOR THE DAY. And so you agonize as she reaches the door, showing a face you do not want to see, because you realize, you have screwed up, badly. As you see Mingi giving up on you as he leaves in his car, a voice of reality hits the female character and the reader who was indeed trapped all along. What now amazes me to think about it, is how it is open for the possibility, but it is never certain that it's going to happen again. Forgiving a cheater comes with a risk. And sometimes it's the thought and fear of repetition that leads me to think: is it really worth it? After all that you have been through, are they going to be fully okay and happy in a relationship with someone who has the power to destroy them and pick the pieces as easily as that? Is love really worth the fear of another loss?

Because really, you don't know. That torment of darkness engulfs you again, but he's right there, next to you. Again, as a lover. But nothing ensures nothing, and a promise was already broken once. So in the face of another pretty girl, a drinking party, and the right mood, ... Can you really be sure that, it will be alright?

Thank you so much for this writing!!

mingi x reader x wooyoung

word count: 25k

angst, smut

(part 1)

even before your relationship with wooyoung ended the way it did, you always wondered what drove people to cheat? did they just never care from the start, basing the relationship off lies and fake smiles, or did something happen down the line? 

were there problems that only one person could see and didn’t feel comfortable enough talking about to the other? did they feel neglected or unloved, like they needed to seek out that affection and validation elsewhere?

or did they really just have no regard for another person, selfishly occupied with their own pleasures and needs while realizing, maybe, they didn’t care if they hurt the person or not.

if you asked your ex-boyfriend, he’d say it was none of the above - he’d say that it simply just happened.

Seguir leyendo

[emotionalboygirl]

my partner and I decided to open our relationship. I don't have much interest in seeing anyone new, myself, but I encouraged them to do so if they'd like (I don't think it would be fair to restrict someone in that way, also, we started the relationship out as non-monogamous many years ago so it's not an entirely new concept for us).

so my partner just started seeing a new person, and I can't help but to be sad/jealous/mournful/confused about it. I don't think I'm ready to talk about it just yet with them because a lot of my feelings are still unfinished thoughts. I know a lot of it is internalized dysphoria about my own body and that I know my partner has a preference for women, and for penises. I am not a woman, and I don't have a penis. these are both things I've been insecure about in my life and my relationship, and have been honest about, for the most part. however, this new person they're seeing applies to both of those, and I feel like I could never physically compete with someone who is their perfect physical preference. I know that it is not a competition, but I can't help but feel like it is when this is the first person they've brought into our home.

of course a lot of it would also be that I'm scared they will love me less, and the possibility of a breakup due to them desiring someone else more, even though that's typically not how polygamy works. if that is how it turns out, however, I can be accepting of it, even if it hurts a lot. I care about my partner so much, and I want to see them happy no matter what, even if it's not with me. I also have to rationalize and know that these are hypotheticals, and probably not something that would happen any time soon, if they were to happen at all.

i feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place with my emotions right now, because I still don't know exactly what I do and don't want. I do want my partner to be happy and be able to express their sexuality in a way that they want, with a person that makes them happy and comfortable. but on the flip side, I want that person to be me. I know it's not entirely possible, and that's really tearing me up. I don't think it's fair to have an expectation that my partner should be attracted to me and ONLY me, but boy! jealousy is a bitch and can sneak up in the worst ways. I don't want to be jealous. I want to feel confident in myself and secure in my relationship but with all these new negative feelings swirling around my brain it's hard to feel secure. I feel like the carpet could be ripped out from under me at any point. and I know that's irrational. I know the best way to go about this is to have a level head, be in touch with my own emotions, and listen to what my partner has to say about it.

I think it would be best to ask them how they feel, and afterwards look inward based on what they have to say about everything. I know open, honest communication is the only way to resolve any negative emotions but I'm just not ready since my feelings are all still very fresh and not cohesive. anxiety, fear, and confusion are all present, but I think I need to think quietly and really dig down to the root and find out why I feel these things in order to address it all.

why am I so scared to lose them? why am I so quick to be so insecure? what am I so fearful of?

why am I so frustrated with myself because I have these emotions? I rarely let myself be upset, I feel like I force myself to be positive-minded at all times, and I just need to let myself be sad and angry and confused. it's normal and healthy to have negative emotions. the best way to resolve them is by studying them and understanding them.

I'll be journaling more about this, but for now, I think I need to take a step back and go for a walk. peace

[kyrodo]

I am hopeful after the recent talk with Red but it is pretty clear he's not doing well. He is bogged down by a history of career and project failures, migraine attacks with emotional and mental effects, an immense amount of hardwork both from work itself and from home/the car, nobody to sleep with because I stay up late, Nobody to cuddle which is his own fault, no sex because I gave up on him trying to get me off and it ruins his lips, or bleeds my butt, one of the two, and it's hard to tell Choskey I'll suddenly be gone for a while, and Red actively avoids any such acts anymore after Choskey showed up. He is jealous immensely because of how well me and Choskey get along, how supportive I am of him and how many things we do together while ignoring the fact that we don't do things together because the only thing he ever wanted to play was planetside and anything outside costs money other than walking. He dislikes me being in call with Choskey all the time including on restaurant trips and on walks but also won't join the call himself.

He misses the monogamous part of our relationship. And I kinda knew this was going to be a problem, but I was definitely not happy where I was before. I see Red failing a lot, getting frustrated a lot, or days eaten up by work, sleep, migraines, failures trying to get his projects off the ground or sudden decisions to give up on them even when I'm there to encourage him.

I do not spend a lot of time doing my share of the chores and things would be a lot better if I were tackling that more reliably and more consistently than I have been. I was hopeful when he got a violin the same time I got my flute but he ended up not doing much of anything with it even when I made it a point to practice every day. I thought it would help him work on it too, but it didn't. Red's inability to focus is legendary. Adhd completely controls his life and keeps him from doing anything he wants. Personally I do want to throw medication at it until something works. Because I know even though it'll not completely solve the issue, it is the only thing that will affect whatever chemical imbalance is making him like this. I know from enternode and light that medication is not perfect or guaranteed to be effective and they come with side effects. But I do know it tends to be better than the alternative, especially if what is being treated is considered crippling. Same with Red's depression.

It won't change the fact I'm usually gaming something multiplayer by the time he gets home and that further complicates the possibility of us doing anything together. Stay up too late to sleep with him. Or that I often don't wake up in time to shower with him or wakeup cuddle. Or that I stay home when he does trips to the store, food, etc. Because it doesn't require both of us to be present and I want to use what time I have in the day elsewhere. It doesn't change that I rarely leave the computer to the point it affects my ability to do much in the way of chores, exercise, etc.

It doesn't change that whenever anything goes wrong I tend to post things in places people don't like instead of go to them directly. I am gluttonous in the worst way possible. I crave immediate satisfaction over longer term investments. I want to play, I want to spend as much of my life doing something that makes me happy as I possibly can. And I will sacrifice sleep for it. And I don't like just leaving whatever cohesive articulation in my head unwritten.

So I understand why Red isn't happy but he also has very little to offer me in terms of affection, happiness, social events, or activities. Emotional support, he has trouble enough dealing with himself. Choskey it is easy for me to understand and deal with him better. He's happier than Red. He's easier to keep happy than Red. He's less angry if ever. He's either happy or sad and that is a lot less stressful to deal with. My words are more effective on him than Red. My presence helps him be better and it is more obvious when that is the case.

I know Red would prefer one person to live and die with for better or for worse but I am not a machine. I can't not be affected by his foul moods or frustrations or avoid groaning inwardly and watch fail to even start something he was planning to do for the day, whether or not I'm present. I can't be there for him 24/7 like I can with Choskey, but Choskey weighs less. Not just physically but emotionally. He's easier to support. It's easier to feel like my efforts aren't being put to waste. And we are willing to break rules like being in discord 24/7. Red would never do that.

I am chaos incarnate. I do not keep organized, or at least I care more about function than form. I would be the one to make an ugly house in a sandbox game and live with it because it gets the job done. I don't do things by the book. I have to clear soda cans from my desk each day.

Through all of that Red loved me, took care of me, kept doing things like make bread for me because I was his number one priority, but it means nothing if I'm not happy. It means nothing if we're not happy. Something needed to change. We weren't going to cons anymore or making any effort to visit friends regularly again. Red's retail therapy kept ruining whatever extra money we had and he often put it to waste. And despite all the games I buy my form of recreation is both cheaper and more immediately effective.

I wish Red would finally find a job with less hours, less work, less stress, less work politics, but he seems to be cursed, and I don't have any way to counteract it. I just want our costs to go down so we can actually do something major like a furcon, and I want people to actually be there with or for than just us. Choskey promises that.

I can't fix Red's moods, migraines, failed projects, lack of focus, stressful work environments or inability to do things like homework regularly. There is so much I can't fix. And I don't want to die feeling lonely or unhappy. I want things to work out with both Choskey and Red, but if that can't be the case for one reason or another I am prepared. We have history, but we don't have happiness. Red is a tortured soul, powerless to change his fate, powerless to accomplish anything. In a sense I have my own failures as well, but I have a social life, I have social needs, emotional needs, gaming needs that no matter how well Red takes care of me he can't fully meet them. Red's life is work. If Choskey got a tech job maybe he'd have some breathing room to find something better, but right now Red is worked to the bone. He also willingly makes more work for himself while at work. He's always biting off more than he can chew but it is his very nature to automate, try to improve things try to set these ambitious goals he'll unlikely be able to deliver, and gets nothing for it in the end. And at every new job he does it again. And he never comes home except when it's really late. And if it weren't for Choskey I would be alone for the entire time. He sacrifices his lunch time for work, constantly gets overtime when he doesn't have to, and at any point he could assert his right as a worker to stop being a doormat for every employer.

And he gets burnt out no surprise. And I can't do anything about it. I want to be happy. I want someone to play with. To love with. To be social with. And Choskey plays that role for me extremely well. He has friends and family that welcome me. We do things, we have fun, there's a clear idea of what we're going to do and when. My life feels purpose. I feel like the day was well spent. I have a harder time finding time to do things by myself like Valheim, but that was exactly what I wanted.

Red completely shuts himself off from everybody. And every now and then he'll say something or be loving or be fun to be around, but it is few and far between. I've been holding on since his first Target job waiting for him to find a job that he actually liked or could be relaxed at but it never happens. It's been more than a decade and it never happens. His life completely revolves around stress and he never catches a break. I thought peloton would be his calling but it turned out to be another fluke. I can pray, I can hope, I can wish things will be better for him finally but I can't do anything about it. I need do more chores but beyond that I'm at a loss on how to support him, how to spend time with him, how to properly love him. I want to be with him still but I want to be happy too.

[5dollarpear]

i care so much that I don't care at all ~ glaive

63

It doesn't seem that long ago, the time when emo was used as a pejorative. There are a lot of ways that word can be interpreted. Ranging from a broad and diverse style of hard-core that puts emphasis on negative emotions. Or even a whiny brat that thinks emotions are unique and no one knows what it's like to be like them. Glaive falls somewhere in the middle. Not even being 18, glaive gives the impression he doesn't know exactly where he wants to fall on that spectrum. However, he is certainly reminiscent of the latter. His pop rock performances may be coming from the right place, but the lyrics make it so much more difficult to take him seriously on record.

First and foremost, he is clearly working with the right people. Glaive's craft is traditionally more aligned with hyperpop and digicore. He hasn't completed abandoned these roots as well. Many of the tracks here are undercut with the same variety of white noise that makes his music nondescript and keeps it from being 100% accessible. But don't take that as a sign that his work isn't easy to digest because it is. The track list is packed with adequately put-together pop rock nuggets, all made grimier by glaive vocals, his voice is very obviously underdeveloped. But he knows how to use it. Glaive makes good use of his dynamic range, making for a performance that grabs your attention. Compare this work to another from this year, Post Malone's already forgotten, monogamous 5th album Austin. Also, an uncharacteristic excursion into the pop rock fray. The fact that he played guitar on every track and his trademark love/hate relationship with downers are completely overshadowed by the horrendously bland production. Sucking all remaining life out of this comatose record. I care so much that i don't care at all is not like this.

The lyrics, on the other hand, range from passable and vague to immature and embarrassing. Possibly worst of which is the opener. The clumsily titled "oh are bipolar one or two?" Reads like an angsty adolescent trying to half ass their last words. But it comes across as tasteless and tacky. You can just sense the "this'll teach em!" underscoring each goodbye. Not one of them sounding sincere or from a place of genuine pain. His words of apathy and high school drama make me think of xxxtentacion in a bad way, and sam ray in a good way. The elements of Ray's genius shine through in his tendency to use simple words and ideas to create a larger whole. Each individual word serves a purpose to communicate his concerns and feelings. I care so much is clouded by an air of pretentiousness and self-indulgence

It is unclear where glaive will be by the time his next album comes out. He will presumably be an adult. His fans will also be a lot more mature. If he continues in his current trajectory, he may end up going nowhere. If he continues to change his approach to music, then he might just be ok. He might need to figure out what an ego is first, though.

[mjjune]

9 for twtr OCs for the ask game! i wanna know all the lore~~~ (--@space-writes)

Thank you!!! No one has asked me this one yet 👀

Putting under the cut for mild worldbuilding spoilers

Ask me Pride Asks!!!

9. Are there cultural or lore specific aspects to their identity? If applicable, does their species affect it?

Unfortunately I refuse to spoil too much about The Wolf, so I'll just stick to Red and Avery (the woodsman)! For some basics about the culture of the kingdom the story takes place in, there is a religion that is very black and white (literally, my idea behind it was: "what if the worst christians possible got their hands on the yinyang?" lmao) and even though it's not overtly discussed on the page, gender is also very black and white. General misogyny exists, though it's not as intense as most medieval fantasy stories (re: The Queen has no king, women can be on councils and in the church and govt, be doctors, hold high position in careers, etc). There is also the classic "you must get married, be monogamous, and produce offspring" culture. This is all on the down-low in my book and not directly discussed, but it's fairly clear through Red's experiences in the book. But also because of the black and white lens, essentially anything between genders is... not a thing. Even just conceptualizing that would be extremely difficult for most citizens. Avery - Since Avery spent most of his youth outside the kingdom—literally, in the woods—he was mostly solitary and so he could do his own thing regarding gender/sexuality without feeling held back by the rigidity of the kingdom's culture. That said, he was born in the kingdom and briefly raised by his parents there, and that founded his idea of Gender, and also his parents essentially had mixed/reversed gender roles (re: the mom was big and physical and a hunter, the dad was gentle and educated and artsy) so this impacted the way he views gender, roles, and himself. Also with regard to the religion, which he was forced to convert to for 5 years 😅 probably just short-circuited his brain because Binary™ and made him even more trans/nb than he already was lmao Red - Red (as princess) has the pressure to produce heirs and get married, and so this part of the world directly impacts her identity because she has no interest in the latter of those things. Because she is well educated and slated to be the next queen, she has a bit more power over her own life and the direction she takes compared to most civilians, who would likely get married whether they want to or not for money/survival. Also I imagine being raised pretty solitary in a castle and focusing on education and being Hyperaware of how she has been sexualized for her beauty and just... being a public figure/celebrity impacted the way she views sex, the way she views attraction, and likely the development of her own attraction (which is none, since ace). But I guess, chicken or the egg? haha

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TWTR TAGLIST: (ask for comment below to be +/-) @aether-wasteland-s @annetilney @artbyeloquent @bebewrites @dogmomwrites @elijahrichardwrites @eventideintrigue @faithfire @flowerprose @forthesanityofstorytellers @ghafasinej @helioscenic @isabellebissonrouthier @jamieanovels @lexiklecksi @little-mouse-gardens @mr-writes @perasperaadastrawriting @phantomnations @theimperiumchronicles @thyroidhormones @verba-writing @vsnotresponding @wildswrites @wip-nook

[pretty-ds]

This could be fun!

NSFW ASKS. Give me the number of the questions you are curious about. I will give you asks in return if you would like. 🌸💗🌸

1: Kitchen Counter, Couch, or on top of the dryer?

All of them

2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or Bad and why:

By myself 2 days ago. It was great because i know me and what i like.

3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed:

Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice.

4: Something that never fails to make you horny:

Fingers in my mouth. I am a very oral girl and a Doms hands just do it for me. Not just any Dom, someone i have chosen.

5: Where is one place you would never have sex:

On top of a fire ant hill

6: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny:

Watching a man playing with his ring

7: How are you after a really good f$%k?

Depends on the type of f$%k but overall, relaxed

8: Have you ever got so wet in the night that you wake up wanting some sexual activity?

Yes

9: Tell me your wettest dream?

I could make something up but in all honesty, i don't remember

10: Top or bottom?

Bottom in my role as a sub. Both as in positions

11: What body attracts you the most, men or women?

men in a physical manner, women in an artistic viewpoint

12: Ever kissed someone of the same sex?

Yes

13: Home alone and you’re bored. What do you do?

Log on to Tumblr, of course

14: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:

Adult toys

15: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you:

I was once in a relationship with a historian and he called my breasts Osgood and Farley because of WWII bunkers located on the California coast. This was the ultimate in compliments from that guy

16: Are you a touchy feely person?

Yes

17: If you were/are a lesbian, would you go for the women/girls who act like men, or the ones who act like girls?

I suppose it would be to whom i was attracted. I admit i find girly girls very attractive but i have also seen a few hot boy-girls (for lack of a better term)

18: Does a massage get you wet?

That depends where on my body the massage was given and who is the person massaging

19: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:

Yes. Long term, monogamous relationships and those trying to conceive

20: If there’s one place a girl/guy should touch you to make you instantly horny, where is that

my mouth or neck. But if i am highly attracted to the person, any place would do it

21: Has a guy/girl even touched you or discreetly groped you while clubbing or in a crowded place?

Yes

22: Ever left the house without wearing any underwear?

Yes. Very intentionally

23: What do you wear when you go to bed?

Depends on the weather, if it is cold i wear cute pajamas. In the hot summer months i wear a t-shirt and panties

24: Biggest turn on:

D/s

25: Worst possible time to get horny:

In church

26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans:

Yes!

27: Worst sexual idea you ever had:

I don't recall but i am sure than have been a few

28: How much fapping is too much fapping:

If said fapping causes injury

29: Best sexual complement you ever got:

I taste like peach juice

30: What do you think you and/or the opposite sex looks the sexiest in?

Confidence

31: Have you ever been called a tease?

In my year book, i was class flirt so it's about the same thing. Apparently, I flirted but did not follow through. I thought i was being friendly. Who knew?

32: Fill in the blanks: “If they ____________, we are ****in”

If they bring a nice wine, we are drinkin.

33: What your favorite part of your body:

I suppose my face and my chest

34: Love (>,<, or =) Sex For those of us who don’t remember our math thats “greater than, less than, or equal to]

Love is > sex

35: What do you wear to bed?

See #23

36: When was the last time you masturbated:

See #2

37: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?

I have nudes. Not for public consumption

38: Have/would you ever have sex outside?

Yes!

39: Have/would you ever masturbate at work?

I have

40: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane?

If it were comfortable and legal, yes

41: What is one song you’d like to have sex to?

Powerful by Ellie Goulding and Major Lazer. String of Pearls by the Glen Miller Orchestra for soft and slow lovemaking

42: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online?

Not that i am aware of

43: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?

If i am interested in them then obviously i'm alright with tattoos

44: Does size really matter to you?

No. Confidence and intelligence matter to me

45: Is there anything you do on the internet that you would not like your significant other to see?

Yes

46: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? (how long have you had it?)

I have quite a few toys and a few BDsm toys. They are different ages going as far back to 2017

47: Would you give your significant other access to your internet history?

If my future Dom asked me, yes

48: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery?

No. I am my own worst enemy and focus on imagined faults. No one can be better at that than me

49: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?

Prostitute in the high-class escort kind of way. But it would never happen

50: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything?

My husband. Yes, It means he loves me

51: Do you like to have phone sex?

Sometimes but it takes a lot to get me there

52: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?

No. But i have and probably will again

53: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?

Depends on whether i am able to breathe or not

54: Booty or Boobs?

Boobs

55: If you had a penis, what would you name it?

Mr Winky

56: Have you ever been on an official date?

Seriously? Yes

57: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)

Yes. I have exclusive tastes that are not understood by many. People into D/s can relate

58: Have you had sex with someone of the same sex?

Yes

59: Have you had sex with more than one person simultaneously?

Yes

60: Have you ever been to a strip club?

Yes

61: Name one naughty act you have done in a public place?

Blow job

62: Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?

With the right person, yes ;)

63: Shower or bath while having sex?

shower

64: Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?

If you haven't been able to tell by now, aggressive, but that does not mean I want all sexual encounters to be aggressive

65: Love or Money?

Love, with enough money to go out and have a nice time. I would expect my partner to want that from me as well

66: Have you been caught having sex?

Yes

67: Does anyone have naughty pics of you?

Yes

68: Do you like wild sex or romantic sex?

Both. but i generally get more release and relief from wild sex

69: Do you consider hair pulling sexy?

Absolutely

70: What should a guy first do when about to have sex with you?

Lead

71: Something that will never fail to get you horny?

Intelligent conversation, depth, and confidence

72: Favorite sexual things a guy/girl does to you that's not sex?

Putting his fingers in my mouth while talking aggressively sexy to me

73: What do you wear to seduce the opposite sex?

Perfume and a smile

74: Have you ever paid for sex?

Haven't we all in one way or another? With actual money, no

75: Do you like kissing in public?

Yes as long as it's not tongues out, panting, and making out

[nebulouscoffee]

For the ship ask game: Worf/Bashir; Deanna/K'Ehleyr; The O'Brien's/Data; Kasidy Yates/Ro Laren!

Ooooh thanks for all these interesting picks!! (What I'm learning is, either you guys are just extremely good at coming up with ships, or I am a chaotic multishipper who will ship literally anything fhjdskhjfs)

Worf/Julian Bashir- ship it

What made you ship it?

That dart board scene from Way of the Warrior. I didn't even particularly want to ship it, I just have eyes😂

What are your favorite things about the ship?

Yes, Worf's canonical opinion of Julian is "He is a child who plays with toys", but I actually think- if the right situations arose and he got to see Julian as more than just "arrogant chatterbox" and "guy who still has feelings for Jadzia"- Worf would realise to his horror that Julian has a LOT of qualities he's consistently been shown to admire, even some he wishes he could exhibit so readily, like the fearless opposition of authority figures (remember the TNG s4 finale when the Klingon High Council asked Worf to kill that kid saying it was "the Klingon way" and he said "but it is not MY way"? Julian does this kind of thing all the time lol! And with little to no hesitation. Worf is rarely around to witness it, but it's so funny to imagine him being caught off-guard like 👀... girl that honour tho👀 👀)

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Idk if it's unpopular necessarily, but I love putting Worf in polycules and I disagree that he's too monogamous to make it work! I think Worf gets jealous and possessive when someone he's agreed to a monogamous relationship with starts flirting with other people, but if these were always the terms right from the beginning, he'd honour them. Anyway I enjoy a LOT of Worf polycules haha, but the ones that involve Julian are Worf/Dax/Bashir, Worf/Dax/Sisko/Bashir, and (my new personal favourite) Worf/Martok/Garak/Bashir. (Mutual who infected me with that last one, thank you, you know who you are😂)

Deanna Troi/K'Ehleyr- ship it

What made you ship it?

TROI: I didn't know it was possible for a human and a Klingon to produce a child.  K'EHLEYR: Actually, the DNA is compatible, with a fair amount of help. Rather like my parents.  TROI: I know exactly what you mean. My father was human and my mother is a Betazoid.  K'EHLEYR: Really? It was the other way around for me. My mother was human. You must've grown up like I did, trapped between cultures.  TROI: I never felt trapped. I tried to experience the richness and diversity of the two worlds.  K'EHLEYR: Perhaps you got the best of each. Myself, I think I got the worst of each.  TROI: Oh, I doubt that. 

The first time I watched this, I took Deanna's comment at face value- but, both earlier and later episodes explicitly state that Deanna often felt out of place on Betazed, & her sheer discomfort every time Lwaxana comes on board (especially with the way she talks telepathically, which Deanna considers "rude") suggests that she isn't being completely honest here. Which is fascinating! (Truly, having 90s Trek women blorbos is taking inconsistencies and building elaborate webs of explanatory insecurities lmaoo)

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I am a sucker for alien cultures and worldbuilding and the internal worlds of characters who inhabit and oscillate between those worlds, & I've noticed most of the ships I think about a lot are either human/alien or alien/alien (I can project way more easily onto those haha). So Deanna/K'Ehleyr is a goldmine in that regard

(Also, I just love dynamics where a "tough" character has a surprising amount of respect for a softer, more empathetic character)

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I don't know the prevailing opinions on this ship, so I shall once again invoke the Worf Polycule Rule and say K'Ehleyr should have lived and been a recurring character and Deanna's "we hook up every time you're on board the Enterprise" and she and Worf would still have needed Deanna's help raising Alexander S5 onwards so this eventually would've led to Worf/Troi/K'Ehleyr

Miles O'Brien/Keiko Ishikawa/Data- ship it

What made you ship it?

I'm gonna be honest- I had never even thought about this before today, so it was in fact this ask that made me ship it. Thanks!😂

What are your favorite things about the ship?

Well, it allows me to reinterpret a lot of the early Miles/Keiko content in a less "traditional married couple" way, which- as presented on the show, always felt a bit dated for the 24th century lol.

Okay, I'm thinking... We know Keiko was Data's friend first, and it was him who introduced her to Miles, right? So what if she and him originally met because Data was experimenting with having a love life and Keiko saw his profile on Enterprise-D Tinder or whatever and thought "hey, that sweet android man from the arboretum! Why not?" And they ended up making dinner in each other's quarters, infodumping about plants, having sex a few times, no strings attached (I genuinely feel like Keiko would be one of the least weird people about Data's whole No Emotions thing). Meanwhile Miles is grumbling in Ten Forward after a music recital that his life is sort of at a standstill, and he's a bit lonely, he just wants someone to come home to- and Data (the only person listening, naturally, which leads to a one night stand lol) suddenly has the thought- why not set him up with Keiko? And thus- the iconic, infamous, two-show-spanning O'Brien polycule begins.😂 (Jokes aside, Data probably steps out of this arrangement after a bit, once he realises they are deeply in love and headed towards an eventual marriage-with-children situation, and that's how he ends up giving Keiko away at the wedding)

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Are there even... opinions on this one? I guess I could voice what is perhaps an unpopular opinion about Data, which is- I don't actually think he and Geordi ever slept together at any point during TNG. To me, they are one of those "they've never kissed but they are married" situations- like they are way too dependant on each other to risk their friendship like that! I do think Data could've been hooking up with more people than shown in canon, but it was always arrangements like this- ones he could end at any point with minimum damage and no hurt feelings. Geordi is much too close to him for this; but being the O'Briens' third from time to time? Definitely could happen

Kasidy Yates/Ro Laren- ship it

What made you ship it?

Writing a fic about them! (It is one of the many, many Fully Written Fics I Cannot Post, and I am so annoyed with myself hahaha)

What are your favorite things about the ship?

[spoilers for DS9: For The Cause and TNG: Preemptive Strike below]

They are both so unapologetic about their Maquis collaborations it makes me insane! Like, when Ben finds out, Kasidy is sorry about the lying to him part- but the show never makes her realise she was wrong to help those people, or even apologise to him. Same with Ro- when she betrays the crew, Riker just sort of understands (and doesn't even seem that surprised when she turns her phaser on him!) She regrets having to let them down, but not what she felt she had to do for the Maquis (and the Bajorans in it). It's really fun to imagine their paths crossing at some point- maybe Ro was captured by Starfleet and they end up in the same prison after 'FTC'; maybe Kasidy and Ben just never fully rekindle their relationship (not even necessarily because of her betrayal, there's also her clear disapproval of his actions in 'Rapture' and 'TDDUP' to consider) and she finds a much freer existence in the Maquis with Ro? (Breaks my Sisko/Kasidy heart a little, but still. It's interesting🥲) Of course, if we want a less messy more wholesome alternative, she and Ro only meet post-canon - Ro's lost her Maquis family and wants to help deliver aid to the Bajoran diaspora & victims of the Dominion War, Kasidy's trying to pick her life back up after Ben left her. They go on to have many adventures together in their freighter🥰

(The freedom they could give each other to be unrepentant about their criminal behaviour, basically! Literal #BeGayDoCrime ship)

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Despite everything I said above, I think they would actually have their fair share of disagreements. They're both in so much pain! Maybe Kasidy wants to deliver supplies to the civilians suffering on Cardassia Prime, and Ro isn't happy about it. Maybe Ro tries to comfort her with the idea that Ben's still around as a borhya, and it massively backfires. Maybe Kasidy finds Ro's guilt over letting Picard down grating, maybe she projects some of her anger at Ben onto Ro. They'd probably have a lot of weirdly cutting guilt-trippy arguments and passive aggressive makeup sex. But they would still give each other the space to talk, and cry, and like, be angry

[nightwingsfantasies]

may i ask for some poly relationship w larry & sal x male reader hcs?

Ah! Of course! :) Sorry I've been taking so long school is getting to me cause of finals;-;

Warnings: Noncannon compliant (their parents aren't together, no one dies, etc), NSFW (implied teen NSFW otherwise they're out of highschool), no weird cult stuff but they still ghost hunt, more modernish (?) phones and stuff

Sal x Male Reader x Larry hcs

highschool

I think that Sal and Larry would have gotten together before you got there

Like, I say gotten together but the way they started it was literally best friends that were super hornknee and decided to have sex together

They started then developing romantic feelings for each other though

And although the sex dynamic wasn't perfect (refer to my Sal x reader NSFW fic) it was good and they loved each other

It became an on and off thing until they actually worked it out

they talked about it and decided that it was better that they stay friends until they can sort out their own sexual desires and endeavors

Sal didn't even know he could do both as a switch and verse so he wanted to just re-examine his sexual self

And Larry was okay with that

So they decided to date but just without sex for a while

Then you moved to Nockfell their sophomore year

and god were you cool

Sal was the first one to see you in the hallway

It wasn't love at first sight really

He thought you were cool and he wanted to talk to you

Then that same day he told Larry about you during lunch

"I want to talk to him I just don't know how to approach him"

"Oh, well who is it?"

Ngl Larry was kinda jealous about how flustered Sal was getting at the prospect of a new friend but then Sal pointed at you and Larry was like "Oh, okay, I get it."

So Larry just approaches you

It was kinda to tease Sal about how shy he was being

Also kinda because you looked rad as fuck

So Larry approaches you sitting at a table alone

You were actually quite chill

You were happy since no one was approaching you

You guys hit it off and ended up becoming really good friends!

So for the duration of your sophomore year and the summer of your junior year, you guys were really good pals and hung out a lot

Then Larry started developing feelings first

And he was super confused since he knew he still liked Sal, no doubt about it

So he was just super confused and conflicted because he didn’t want to break up with Sal

So during, about the first half, of all of your junior year he kept this to himself and tried to keep himself from feeling for you

Sal on the other hand already accepted his feelings, he realized it later than Larry

And he read yp on what being polygamous meant

So although there was a lot of confusion at first he figured it's no different from people in love triangles

He realizes it a couple weeks after Larry and decides to bring this up to Larry during winter break

The conversation pretty much just went like Sal explaining polyamory to Larry for an hour

They end up deciding to just wait a bit and try to flirt with you individually

you know,

because they don't remember that you don't know they're attracted to you at this point

:)

So basically you think that they're both trying to cheat on each other for the week they're flirting with you

At the end of that week, you tell them to meet you together

And they don't know any better than to meet you

And then you come to them, don't let them explain, and cry because you don't want two of your best friends to cheat on each other like this even though you like them

And then they realize why you're saying this

So although this was not the time they expected to confess to you they told you what they were trying to do

So you just sat there

With these two idiots

and told them "No guys, cause I was literally having a breakdown about losing my two best friends."

And they confess to you

and everything is emotional and raw and you accept

Your guys' dynamic doesn't change because you’re dating now

The only difference is you guys make out together and show lots more pda

although you always bring up what they did when they were trying to give you hints

"We just really wanted to flirt with you okay??? Is it such a crime to want your crush to fall for you???"

"When you guys don't explain you're looking to expand your relationship, yes. Yes, it is Larry."

"He's kind of right babe-"

"SAL-"

Y'all spend a lot of time communicating with each other on stuff like that now

Your senior year goes without any bumps between all of you and you then graduate

College Dynamic

so you and the gang (except Ash, she moves to the city of course) goes and makes a college house

once you all move in together there it's a new routine

You all agreed and talked about the move together and what it would entail

And then you all finally realized how different it was from a monogamous relationship it was

But you all had your learning curves within the relationship

You find out more about their dynamic as a couple

For example, Larry and Sal never liked to fall asleep without you anymore

They had trouble sleeping without you beforehand and the first time you all slept in the same bed together it was just... so... peaceful

They'll spoon and cuddle without you individually (Sal is always the big spoon with Larry)

but they just love falling asleep next to you

They also refuse to do homework without you there

Even if it's just the simplest this they're just gonna need to have you in the room to finish it

Sal likes to make songs about you guys

He records them and edits some but he never lets you two listen to them

"It's just embarrassing if you two were to listen to it. It's like confessing my love for you guys all over again except I can't hide behind the mask."

So until he decides to release his songs online or plays those at gigs he's never going to let you listen to them

Larry likes to paint you guys

His paintings of you before the "disaster confession" were okay, it just looked like he was making a painting of a friend, except for the occasional rose

But now he paints you and draws you two whenever he can

He finds it funny how flustered you and Sal get whenever he makes suggestive paintings or sketches of you two

One time he painted a whole sex portrait of you and Sal together (A 12 by 28 specifically) hung it upright in front of the door to your rooms and didn't tell anyone

So after you and Sal got home that day you were welcomed with Larry lounging on your bed with the giant picture of you fucking Sal next to him

It was definitely beautiful though, even if it's hard to call your nudes beautiful

"Larry Johnson, this painting, as always, masterful. Beautiful craftsmanship but please-" "-we mean this in the most loving way possible Larry-" "-STOP PAINTING OUR NUDES BABE"

He put it away to be hung up in your apartment for when you all move out

Non-College Life

Once you all finish college you guys move into an apartment outside of Nockfell

The minute after you and Sal leave to get food Larry puts up all his private paintings of you guys

It's funny to him

I imagine you guys moving to a really populated city

Somewhere where it's a good place for people wanting to have creative jobs but still close to Nockfell

Maybe not back to New Jersey but probably not as far as New York or LA

you guys do all the cute stuff you never got to in Nockfell together

It's not like the majority of Nockfell was homophobic, mostly just the people who went to the church

But a lot more of them didn't think that polyamory was possible

So now it's easier

It's not like you never experience any polyphobia anymore but it's easier because you're in a more open-minded place

Sal's favorite thing is to go to concerts now

And pride

He also likes coffee house dates too

Larry gets hit on a lot though whenever you guys go out anywhere though

He finds it funny how jealous you both get

Sometimes if he wants Sal to get really mad he'll play along

But most of the time he shuts it down before it begins

Sal gets hit on a lot at concerts the most though

He gets kind of awkward about it, he's not going to edge them on but he gets uncomfortable enough to just not know how to shut them down

Usually, you and Larry will just appear behind him and whisk him away

Larry likes to use it as teasing leverage for a good rough one that night but you usually make sure he's okay with it before Larry does anything

You get hit on the most casually

Here and there but there aren't really specific places

It just sort of happens

You mostly shut them down alone

But occasionally you'll have to go to Sal and Larry if they're persistent

And they'll be mean too

One of the first times you saw Sal and Larry ever legitimately get that mean was when you got hit on in a club and they both just pulled you behind them and absolutely ripped the person a new one

You guys really like to stay at home if you guys have dates though that way everyone feels included

But when you all do go around together it's always specifically for three people you never tell anyone it's a date for dinner reservations, you always make sure you go on rides everyone wants to go on at amusement parks, and hey if worse comes to worst smoking is a group activity (if you have asthma or any other breathing condition Larry makes you edibles if you really wanna do edibles with them)

Starting jobs there are tough and all but you make it off your feet

Sal ends up booking a lot of gigs and Larry's commission request skyrocket when he moves to the city and makes a blog about his art

You all get an apartment with affordable rent and one that allows Gizmo

I hc that Gizmo is an esp but I don't know if that's real

So regardless you'll still be able to have room for him

Sal proposes to both of you

You guys talked about marriage and decided that it would be easier legally to just not get married through a court

So you guys have a friends wedding and Gizmo is the ring bearer

You guys don't get a fancy venue or anything

You guys all just have a city wedding

NSFW

So, the first time you all decide to hook up it's mostly just very communicative rules beforehand

Sal is more comfortable with being fucked than fucking someone else at most times but "It's not like I never want to stick my dick in you two" as he puts it

He also likes background music on most of the time

It's kinda weird if there isn't just a little bit of music

It isn't really bothersome, you guys keep it below 20 at most times

Sal's also super submissive

He liked it rough, make him cry out for you two

A bit of a pillow prince

Especially enjoys being tied up by you two

gags and blindfolds are on the table

Although whenever he does feel up to fucking you and Larry he'll usually end up having you two ride him because he gets to be such a mess with you two unless he's jealous or upset

Usually, when he's upset he's gonna lift you two up and fuck you against the headboard or wherever you two are if he's impatient enough

One time you were chilling with Larry in your bedroom and he was painting over his easel

Sal burst through the door where it slammed back on itself and closed itself

He then tracks his eyes on you

immediately asks you "Can I please fuck you right now"

and as soon as your safe word and consent comes out of your mouth he's holding you down on the bed and fucking into you so hard you can barely breath

Larry doesn't mind it and just continues painting with you moaning and being so pathetic in the background of his music

He kinda finds it funny because before you all got together and he and Larry would angry fuck it never worked out

Sal was just being a brat most of the time because Larry still wouldn't let him fuck him submissively

Speaking of which, Larry's more comfortable with being dominant, he'll bottom but only if he can still be dominant otherwise forget it

Larry's just a rough fucker anyway

He really likes pushing and holding you two up against walls when he fucks you guys

He likes showing off the muscles he got helping his mom with handy work and stuff like that

The first time he did this was to Sal when you were studying in your guy's room

You said you didn't really wanna participate today so they fucked like they would without you

And so they're talking back and forth, teasing each other

and Larry corners him

And just

lifts him up

It looked like he was just lifting a bag of sugar up

Sal seemed weightless as Larry just rocks into him

It was one of the hottest things you'd seen at the time so you joined them

You do that a couple more times but then it just becomes normal and you decide you need to start finishing all those assignments

Larry does that to you one on one as well without Sal but it happens to Sal a lot more spontaneously

Larry though is kinkier than Sal in some respects

He'll try anything at least once "Lisa didn't raise no bitch-"

He's really into breeding and long fucking sessions though

Like, lowkey he has omegaverse fantasies

Not because of the weird stuff just because a lot of the time..... they have breeding written in

He'll never admit to reading any of it but you know he has at least once

Super into dirty talk

And he's really good at it

He also had a praise kink and a degradation kin

He likes degrading you and you telling him thank you and how good he's treating a filthy little brat like you

"What're my filthy little brats good for other than sucking my dick so well. Taking me so well like the dirty little whores you are?"

"Yes sir-" "-we're made for your big cock-" "-thank you for fucking us like this-"

He especially likes breeding you and having Sal suck you off while he does it, he finds your crying cute

And an added bonus is rewarding Sal after for it

You guys talk about long-term consent and all that and decide that it's a good idea, you all trust and love each other so there isn't a problem

lol this kinda went to shit at the end but I still like it enough! Thanks for the Sally Face request I really like this game and the dynamic between a poly reader hc :)

-Laika

[agustdef]

Tiptoeing: Around You | m.

✰ Pairing: Christian Yu/Reader 

› Genres: Smut, Fluff, Mildest of Angst

✰ Rating: 18+ 

› Warnings: Language

✰ Status: Oneshot 

› In Collaboration: With @shadowsremedy​ who altered my plans a little, but I don’t mind it. Here is his fic, they’re both in the same universe: Tiptoeing: Around Love.

✰ Beta Read: @suhdays​ and @ppersonna​

›  Banner: @shadowsremedy​

✰ Summary: YN has pined after Christian for a while, but after one more kick in the butt by her best friend and an evening in the same room she finally acts on those feelings.

›  A/N: This fic was written for the sweet and mildly chaotic @dee-ehn​ for her birthday. You deserve the world, but since I cannot give you that we’re going to have to settle for some fictional content starring the ever handsome and rude Christian Yu. I hope you enjoy it love and I hope your day was great!

“Pft, you’re no better than me,” YN whispered into her phone.

There was a loud chuckle on the other side and then it stopped abruptly.

“Yeah, but at least I have a girlfriend. You’re out here acting like a lovesick puppy for a guy who is clearly into you. I don’t know how much sadder this can get at this point. It’s been months, YN,” Yoongi said.

Naturally, she rolled his eyes at his words. The fact that all of that was true mattered not. Or at least most of it was true, she wasn’t quite sure if Christian was into her. Everyone said he was and there were some signs, like flirting and being touchy but he was like that with a few of his close friends. That alone couldn’t be the indicator for his feelings. If they were feelings at all. For all she knew she and everyone else were seeing the signs of lust and not romantic feelings that led to a monogamous relationship.

At least that’s what the voice in her head told her when she got up the courage to think he actually liked her and planned to act on it. The pesky ass voice couldn’t let her have nice things.

Despite her clear acknowledgement of the factualness of what he said she couldn’t let him have the last word. It just wasn’t a true testament to their friendship if she didn’t try to gain the upper hand.

“Well, at least I’m not using fuckboy antics to get out of telling the person I’m dating I love them. You can’t use that psycho bitch, who tried to kill me might I add, as an excuse for why you don’t say it forever, Yoon. Especially since you know Jamie isn’t like that. But you gotta take the plunge and talk to her before too much time has passed and she won’t want to listen anymore.”

There was a brief silence before a dramatic sigh left his lips. YN could imagine the look on his face as he did it too. A mix of sadness, resignation, and annoyance at the fact that she was right. They wouldn’t be such close friends if they both didn’t hate being proven wrong while also understanding the other enough to know when it was the right moment to push it.

“Okay,” he whispered.

“What was that?”

“Okay! You’re right. But you need to stop tiptoeing around the subject and just tell him already. He likes you, let him know you feel the same way,” he said.

That got YN to sigh with about as much feeling as Yoongi had. Her body felt tired as she thought of having to speak those words, but she realized she really needed to get it over with. Even if she threw up in the process, it had to happen.

“Okay,” she mumbled.

“Hm? What was that?” he mocked her.

“Okay, damn. I’ll do it. So annoying.”

Again, he laughed and it made her happy to hear him not so down like he’d been for days. Of course, the laughter could only help so much, but it was better than nothing.

Biting her lower lip her head turned so she looked at the studio door where the man who she was losing it over was. He waited for her to bring in snacks and she’d stopped part way to call Yoongi about something unrelated to the conversation they had. One that she was so lost in that she didn’t realize twenty minutes more than needed had gone by.

“Shit, I have to go. I should have been back already. I’ll call you later. Love you. Bye.” she said.

Yoongi laughed. “Love you too.”

With that she hung up the call and took a deep breath before walking towards the studio door. Her hand grasped the knob for a few seconds as she took a deep breath and thought over Yoongi’s words. Maybe the all-nighter they planned was the right place or maybe it was the worst possible place for her to do that since she’d still have work to do if he reacted negatively.

When she finally opened the door and stepped in she’d decided to just see what happened. There would be no forcing herself to say anything about it or actively stopping herself. For once she’d go with the flow, with a bit of hope that she’d randomly get the urge to blurt it out like she sometimes did.

Upon her entry Christian’s head whipped up to look at her. He stared her down as she kicked off her shoes and made her way to her seat. The expression on his face didn’t give way to his thoughts, but she assumed he was confused as to why it took her so long to get back.

“You get lost?” he asked, taking the bag from her.

“Nope. Just had a phone call.”

Christian paused for a second, his brow raised in question.

“Yoongi?”

YN didn’t stop what she was doing for many people, especially when it came to work related things needing to be done. But Yoongi was her oldest friend and she’d hop on a plane without a moment's notice if he needed her. That meant that usually people could guess who she’d been talking to easily.

“Yeah. He wanted to whine some,” she said.

Her attention moved to the computer in front of her, which still held the work she’d left off on. Christian had messed with something a little, but for the most part had seemed to be focused on what went on upon his own screen. Something about what he was doing reminded her of a thing she’d forgotten with the clip was editing and despite the hunger that plagued her she went straight into work. Of course, she felt Christian’s eyes on her the whole time and heard him chewing away at the snacks in the bag but her mind hyper focused so none of that matter.

About fifteen minutes passed before her hands stopped moving and Christian used that to pull her chair for the desk. Her immediate reaction was to tell him off, but he shoved half of a sandwich towards her mouth and she found herself biting it without a thought. That brought a smug expression to his face, but she merely rolled her eyes and snatched the sandwich.

There was some small protest from him, but it stopped as she took another bite of the sandwich. YN was so hungry that she hadn’t really chewed anything or tasted it for that matter. She’d had little to eat throughout the day because they’d needed some last-minute shots and that left her running here and there. Anything consumed was burned off within an hour or two. Which is why Christian had offered they go get dinner first, but she knew a heavy meal would make her focus on editing harder. Food made her sleepy most of the time.

“Slow down,” Christian said, his Australian accent thickening with the worry in his tone.

But his warning was too late because she’d shoved the last piece into her mouth and swallowed it. Her hand reached for the other in his hand, but he gently pushed it away and handed her an opened water instead. She glared at him but drank down the water; though with the way he stared at her she stopped herself from downing half of it in a few seconds. Sips were slow and small until she felt her throat less dry.

“Now can I have the other half?” she asked, her voice sickly sweet and a pout on her lips.

For a moment Christian just stared his eyes focused on something on her face. At first, she wondered if she’d gotten anything on it while eating, but then she watched him bite his lower lip and his eyes flicker up to her’s and then down again. She thought that he had to be looking at her lips and her heart did a thing, though her mind wasn’t sure if it was him wanting to kiss her or something being on them. In a moment of uncertainty, she wiped at the lip and came up with nothing, but that seemed to be enough to snap Christian out of whatever trance he’d been in.

Without a word he passed her the other half of the sandwich and then got busy unwrapping his own. Silence followed with a few words spoken here and there when one of them stared at either screen long enough to have a question rise up. It was a good little break from YN’s thoughts about what happened minutes before and also got her mind ready for what she was going to do for the next several hours. Dread filled her, but knew it wasn’t impossible by any means.

“Ready?” Christian asked after finishing off his tea.

YN nodded and just like that they got to work.

Christian was to focus on piecing together a visual that would encompass the entire comeback the Dabin planned, while YN was focused on getting through the main music video. There were some others she had to do, but they were all shorter and didn’t need some of the magic that the main one did. Part of her cursed the team for being so damn ambitious, but it kept her on her toes so she couldn’t complain. Well, wouldn’t complain until she felt the urge to pull out her hair because something wasn’t working.

But for once she went through her edits without any real roadblocks. She navigated the things that they’d talked about adding and her own ideas for things to flow seamlessly. There were a few snags here and there, but they were nothing that she couldn’t fix in a few minutes or that Christian couldn’t help her with.

They’d long learned to work together fluidly so all of it came easily.

A few hours in YN pulled her headphones off and pushed her chair away from the desk. Carefully, she stood up and stretched her body since it got a little stiff from sitting in one position for so long. Once she’d properly given them the movement they needed a yawn ripped free from her lips and she felt a wave of tiredness hit her. Of course, she wasn’t done by any means.

“I’m going to get something hot and something with caffeine from the kitchen, you want anything?” she asked.

Christian didn’t respond so she poked him hard and repeated herself, he shook his head no without ever glancing her way. She knew he’d complain later, but she didn’t have it in her to pester him, so she slipped on a pair of slides near the door and ventured out.

The kitchen in the building DPR was set up in wasn’t too far from Christian’s studio, in fact she walked back fifteen feet to get to it. Something she was thankful about because despite being in motion she felt her body grow more tired as each second passed. It’s why she was quick to grab an energy drink from the fridge and down that thing. It was followed by the consumption of red ginseng because it always helped her in some way. Or at least she placebo effected herself into that thought. After she moved to make herself some hot chocolate. Thankfully, they had a Keurig, so she didn’t have to worry about heating water herself. By the time it was done she’d gotten a few large marshmallows from her hidden stash and happily deposited on top of the hot, chocolatey liquid.

With her energy drinks consumed and her hot beverage ready she made her way back to the room. She took care not to spill any of the drink and sat it down on the small table that Christian kept over on her side. It was where she sat all her drinks or food out of fear that she would knock it over if it were on the desk with all the equipment.

The moment her butt hit the chair there was a frustrated grunt and Christian all but threw his headphones down. His right hand moved to card through his hair and his eyes closed as he let out a harsh breath.

“What’s wrong?” she asked as she moved closer.

There was no response, but she waited for him to get his bearings. Sometimes editing made you so annoyed that words failed to come together right away. There had been many instances where someone asked her questions and all they got in return was grunts or her starting a word only to scream halfway through.

A minute or two went by before he opened his eyes and spoke up.

“I just can’t get it to transition like I want. I’ve been trying different methods for the last hour and assumed I wanted to try out all the options, but they just fuckin’ suck. I don’t want it to suck. It needs to not suck.”

“I doubt it sucks, let me see,” she said as she moved even closer.

However, Christian was having none of it and knocked his chair into hers so she’d go back onto her side. He was stubborn as hell when in a mindset of defeat, so she had to be persistent. She knocked chairs with him a few more times before getting up. Before he could steady himself she pushed it back and it rolled almost to the door. Standing she leaned over and looked at what he had. Nothing sucked per se, but she could see what his issue was.

She got several clicks in before he protested again.

“I’ll just choose one and come back to it tomorrow or something. It’s fine, you have your own stuff to work on.”

“Shh.”

“Did you just shh me?” he asked incredulously.

Rolling her eyes she turned around to glare at him but froze up when she realized he was standing and doing it awfully close to her. His head was tilted down as he stared at her and with the way she’d held her head up high their faces where maybe an inch apart.

In an instant the atmosphere changed and YN did not know what to do. Part of her screamed to back away quickly and the other part of her wanted her to close the gap. The voices in her head were at war and then she noticed his eyes on her lips again and threw out all fear.

As she leaned closer Christian did too and soon enough their lips were pressed against each other. The initial kiss was chastise, something to test the waters, but once they got comfortable with it the intensity grew. Their heads tilted and their bodies pressed closer together. Soon enough YN’s fingers were threaded in his hair and his hands caressed her hips and ass.

With her lips on his all thoughts kind of left her, besides how soft they were and how she wished she’d kissed him sooner. And how she didn’t want to stop doing it.

Christian squeezed her ass a little too hard though and in retaliation she slowed the kiss and bit his lower lip. When he stilled she worried about if he didn’t like that, but then he released a sound akin to a growl. His lips were on hers again in seconds and she got so wrapped up in the kiss that she didn’t realize that he’d started lowering onto his chair and bringing her with him. She didn’t start to pay attention until he had her straddle one of his thighs.

He wasted no time with subtlety bouncing that thigh causing a bit of friction between her legs. It was bearable for a while but then he pressed a little hard and her lips parted as a gasp escaped them. Christian took that as a chance to slip his tongue into her mouth, swirling around hers. Though compliant with all his actions YN did try to gain control of the kiss, but all it took was another firm grazing of her crotch to have her moaning out. One bounce in particular had her pulling away from his lips.

But just because she stopped didn’t mean that Christian did, his lips went to kiss along her collarbone which was readily exposed in the off the shoulder top she wore. The feeling of them on her skin sent a shiver up her spine and inadvertently had her grinding down on his thigh, which only got her even more excited.

Her pleasure must have been apparent because once again Christian’s hands were on her hips. Unlike before though he used that leverage to move her along his thigh. With his lips still kissing across her shoulder and neck he moved her back and forth, ensuring he was pressing down enough that she could feel the friction despite her shorts.

The pace was slow at first, but it was enough to ensure that YN was growing wetter by the second. Her body felt on fire and it didn’t help when Christian began to suckle hickies onto her. She felt very stimulated and that’s what caused her to cry out in pleasure when he began to speed up the pace.

“Fuck,” she said.

“Oh, we’ll definitely get to that, but why don’t you take over and ride my thigh, baby? Get yourself worked up for me,” he whispered in her ear, slowly pulling away but not before biting gently on the lobe.

YN did not need to be told twice. Her hands moved to his shoulders and she sat firmly on his thigh before dragging herself back and forth. At first, she was frustrated because she couldn’t find the right amount of pressure to feel anything worthwhile, but before she could give up Christian started guiding her.

“Just like that. Yeah, you’re doing so good for me. Keep going and you can pick up the pace. Make yourself feel good,” he said.

There was no verbal response from YN besides the moans she released when the friction truly started up. Goosebumps covered her skin the more she got into, her body tingled and she wanted more. Craved more.

But the look in Christian’s eyes as he watched her get herself off was too good a sight. His eyes had darkened a bit and she could see the lust in them. It didn’t help that he was biting his lower lip as his eyes remained firmly on the thigh she was on. He was enjoying the show and she wanted to give him more, so she kept going and her pace quickened again.

Though her pace change was also out of desperation. She’d gotten worked up quickly and despite how good his thigh felt her orgasm felt out of reach. Getting closer to it was all she wanted, so she moved with a vigor that could get her there.

That didn’t fly with Christian though, his hands held her still.

“No, no. You are not cumming on my thigh. You’re doing that with me inside of you,” he said.

YN groaned. “Then get inside of me.”

That elicited a laugh from him and made YN finally look directly into his eyes. He appeared very amused by how she’d responded.

“I should have known you’d be just as bossy like this.”

Naturally, that ended with her lightly slapping his shoulder which brought on more laughter from him. She was ready to get off his lap after that but yet again he held her in place.

The thing was that unlike before the expression on his face was softer and less like that of a man who said she would only cum on his dick.

“I know this is ruining the moment, but before I bend you over this desk and fuck you until you can’t walk I want to be very clear with you. I want to be with you. This is not me just fucking you because I find you attractive as hell. Got it?” he said.

Though she wanted to roll her eyes at his delivery she couldn’t help but smile as happiness filled her. Hearing him say it made her night and she would stay like she was or cuddled up to him for the rest of the evening, but there was a persistent problem still between her legs.

She leaned forward and leaned towards his ear to whisper, “And I want to be with you, but we can discuss that later. For now you have a problem to fix and a lot to prove if you think you’re going to put me on bedrest tomorrow.”

It didn’t take long for him to get her off his lap. He barked orders about getting off her shorts and panties while he ran out of the room for a moment. By the time he returned she was undressed on her lower half and bent over on the desk. Her legs were spread slightly and it gave him the view of her glistening pussy, just like she wanted.

“Shit,” he mumbled.

YN tried to keep the laughter from escaping her at his reaction knowing he’d probably tease her if she did. There was no time for all that, she needed him inside her as soon as possible.

Once she heard the sound of pants unzipping and dropping she felt herself perk up. Her ass rose up a little more and that seemed to pull another groan from Christian who sounded like he was fumbling with something behind her. She was going to ask if he needed help but then she felt the head of his dick press against her slit and she moaned.

Slowly he moved it between the lips of her pussy causing her to push back wanting more. The feeling was so good, but she still needed him to go further. Thankfully, he didn’t keep her waiting for long. Before she could fully process it he’d pushed inside of her completely. There was some discomfort from the sudden intrusion–one that was the first of its kind in a year–but he didn’t move and she adjusted fast. The stretch still felt a bit odd, but not something she hated. In fact, she loved the feeling of being full of him.

“You can move,” she said.

He didn’t need to be told twice because in the next second he was moving at a moderate pace. His hips moved back and forth, while one hand on her back kept him balanced.

YN’s eyes fluttered closed as she focused on the feeling of him. She’d been worked up enough that she was more than prepared for him, but also enough that she was sensitive. It wasn’t the same level as if she’d orgasmed, but it was enough to have her feeling extra with every stroke.

After several thrusts at that speed Christian suddenly sped up out of nowhere. It was enough that her hips moved away from the desk and hit against it every time he slammed back into her. It was a little painful, but the feeling of his dick pushing into her and hitting just the right spot made up for it. Her moans had been soft before, but with each thrust she grew louder.

At some point she was almost screaming out because of the brutal pace, but that didn’t mean that he slowed down. In all honesty it felt like he went harder and she loved every second of it. Wanted him to never stop.

And because she was so focused on how he felt she didn’t notice the tightening in her stomach and the way she was close to the edge until she was over it. Her eyes opened wide as her orgasm crashed through her.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she said.

Despite the clear indication that she’d come Christian didn’t stop. His pace slowed down some, but he kept pistoning into her. As she finished the last moment of her high the sensitivity set in, but she found herself building up again. Her pussy wanted a break, but she wanted him to keep going.

While she was ready to stay bent over for him until he came, Christian had other plans. Using his right arm he wrapped it around her torso and pulled her up so her back was against his chest. That hand moved down to rub her clit, something that had hips bucking because it felt like too much. She squirmed a lot, but then his left hand came around to wrap around her throat and she stilled.

“You’re going to give me another one, right?” he asked, though she knew it wasn’t up for discussion.

“Yes.”

“Good girl.”

Without another word spoken by either of them he kept her how she was and continued to thrust into her, but his intense pace from before returned. His hand continued to rub and pinch her clit, which caused her to vibrate in pleasure. Plus, his hand remained around her throat squeezing every so often and she loved it more than she cared to admit. So much that her next orgasm came a little quicker than the last.

There was a weird feeling in her stomach though, but she had no time to assess it before she came. Her pussy spasmed and then she felt an intense pressure before she felt her thigh grow wet.

She’d squirted all over his dick and herself.

“Fuck, definitely going to have to do that again some other time,” he murmured.

YN didn’t even have it in her to respond to him, she just relaxed against her body as he continued fucking her. It took a minute or two before his precision slipped and she heard him moan out. He didn’t stop until he finished cumming and then he just stood there, his chest rising and falling heavily against her.

Three minutes passed with them like that before YN said something.

“We can’t stand here all night. Also, I’m so tired from this and working, we gotta rap this up.”

Christian laughed, but pulled out. From there YN leaned against the desk trying to orient herself. In that time Christian had discarded the condom and pulled his pants back up. He helped her do the same, though he didn’t bother fixing her pants completely. H

Carefully he turned her around to face him and smiled at her clearly exhausted, but happy face.

“How about we take showers, get changed, and call it a night? If you want you can stay at mine and we can start first thing in the morning,” he said.

Not one second was wasted debating it, YN just nodded in agreement.

“If I can shower and sleep I’ll be happy.”

That made Christian smile wider and then he leaned down to press a quick kiss to her lips. He moved away to lead the way out, but YN took one step before reaching out to grip his arm. Worry colored his expression and then when he noticed the way her legs seemed to shake a little a smirk made its way onto his face.

“What was that about me having to prove something?” he asked.

“Fuck you.”

[kpopfanfictrash]

Refinery29 (M)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You / Seokjin

Rating: 18+

Genre: Established relationship / humor

Warnings: positive and supportive dirty talk, slight impreg kink, fingering, oral (female receiving), seokjin says the words “balls-deep,” no condom (established monogamous relationship)

Word Count: 2,965

Summary: Your boyfriend, Seokjin, is an annoyingly loyal reader of the lifestyle website, Refinery29. Too often, you find yourself the recipient of his determined curiosity. (Refinery29 is a series of smaller one shots. Each one consists of a time Seokjin incorporates a dumb article/idea on sex into their love life).

Title: The One With Positive Affirmations 

A/N: Thank you to @baebae-goodnight​ for bringing this phenomenon to my attention and apologies to @underthejoon​ for the morning @baebae-goodnight​ and I spent trading positive sexual affirmations back and forth in the chat.

“What’re your thoughts on positive affirmations during sex.”

Setting your book on your stomach, you glance over at Seokjin. He lies beside you on the bed, glasses on and sweatpants riding dangerously low on his hips. On one hand he holds his phone, pausing mid-scroll through his Twitter timeline.

“What?” You blink, truly having no idea what he means.

“Positive affirmations.” Seokjin looks up. “You know, like what you say in the mirror to yourself every morning.”

“I don’t say anything to myself in the mirror each morning.”

“Really?” He frowns. “Then what’s taking you so long?”

“Hey!” you blurt, hitting him with your pillow.

Seokjin cracks up, grabbing the pillow to set this aside. Settling back on the bed, he picks up his phone and continues to scroll. You resume reading your book, but find yourself distracted. Lowering this to your lap, you glance curiously at Seokjin.

“What brought this on?”

Holding up his phone, Seokjin wriggles his hand. “There’s a trending Twitter topic about how hot it is to say positive affirmations to your partner during sex. I was intrigued.”

“Hm. Let me see that,” you say, reaching for his phone.

Seokjin hands it over, rolling onto his side to watch you scroll. Immediately, you see what Seokjin is talking about. A subsect of Twitter thinks it’s hot to say positive, affirming phrases to your partner while inside them.

“Okay.” With a snort, you look up. “Are you serious? Some of these are ridiculous. ‘I’m so proud of you.’ ‘I’m so lucky to experience you.’ ‘I love our connection.’ ‘Your energy is incredible.’ Seokjin,” you say, looking at him deadpan. “If someone said these things to me during sex, my vagina would dry up so fast.”

“But I am proud of you!” he insists, trying not to laugh. “Why shouldn’t I tell you that while I’m balls-deep inside you?”

Rolling your eyes, you sit up. “Okay, first off. If you ever say the phrase ‘balls-deep’ while referring to our sex life again, there won’t be a sex life to reference. Second, this has no place in the bedroom. Unless, I don’t know, we’re talking about our day before bed.”

“I don’t know. I think it could be hot,” Seokjin says, looking thoughtfully at his phone.

“Seokjin. Do you really want me to say, ‘don’t worry about the things you can’t control’ while we’re fucking? Or, ‘happiness comes from forgiveness’ while I’m sliding down on your cock?”

“That’s not fair.” Seokjin groans, shoving a hand through his hair. Messy brown strands stick straight up. “Everything you said became white noise the second you said cock.”

Laughing, you set your book aside. Swinging one leg over his waist, you settle onto his lap. “Oh, really?” you tease, hands sliding up his arms. “That gets you turned on, huh?”

“Obviously. Everything about you turns me on.”

Pointedly, you glance down at your worn, ratty t-shirt – admittedly, it is his worn, ratty t-shirt.

“Even now?”

“Especially now.” Pulling your t-shirt tight around your waist, Seokjin stares appreciatively at the swell of your chest. “It’s like you don’t feel my cock against your ass, or something.”

“Is that what that is? Thought I sat on a peanut.”

“Cute,” Seokjin smirks, gripping your butt with both hands. “I love when we pretend like my dick is small.”

Your breath catches because yes, you can feel his dick against your ass and no, it is not small. His thin grey sweatpants do little to hide this.

“But seriously.” You smile, shaking your head. “Is this something you actually think would be sex? For me to whisper while we fuck that your ability to conquer obstacles is unparalleled?”

Seokjin arches a brow. “Y/N, I’m surprised.”

“What? What by?”

“I would’ve thought you’d love me hyping you up,” he teases, grasping your waist. Gentle, he shifts to lower you down on the bed.

His hands skim your waist, casually positioning himself at the foot of your bed. Sitting back on his heels, Seokjin makes a show of running his hand through his hair. The sweatpants stretch tight across his thighs, highlighting how much he has been hitting the gym.

He cockily arches a brow. “Don’t you want to hear about what a strong, powerful woman you are while I eat you out?”

“How would you do both at the same time?”

Despite this, you shiver. His gaze darkens when he speaks, as though he truly believes what he says and cannot fathom how lucky he is to have you. For a moment, you consider if there is merit to the idea after all. Lowering his phone to the bed, you casually stretch out a leg.

“Mm, I don’t know,” you say slowly. “What would you say?”

Smirking, Seokjin grasps your ankle to drape over his shoulder. Turning his head, he gently kisses your skin. The softness of his lips makes you tense, fingers digging into the sheets of the bed.

“I’d say how grateful I am that you share your life with me,” he confesses, lips sliding down your calf.

His words are mumbled and you know that he means them, since Seokjin always gets embarrassed when he tells the truth. His ears are bright red under his hair and his breath quickens a little, grip tightening in an almost imperceptible manner.

“You’re fearless,” he says, spreading your legs to fall on either side of his waist. His hands skim your thighs, coming to a halt at your shots. “Bold,” he adds, cocking his head. “I’m constantly in awe of what you do.”

He reaches up, hands curling around the waistband of your shorts and here, he pauses, forcing you to hold your breath.

Abruptly, he lets go and breaks out in a grin. “What’d you think?” Seokjin slaps your thigh. “Hot, or not?”

“Ugh!” you groan, tossing an arm across your face. “You’re the absolute worst.”

Seokjin cackles, shifting his weight back on the bed. When you peek out from under your arm, you find him removing his shirt. He tosses this onto the floor, revealing toned pecs and abs.

“What’re you doing?” you say, letting your arm fall to the bed.

Seokjin pauses. “I thought it was obvious. I want to have sex with you while insisting you have all the qualities necessary to be extremely successful in business.”

“Seokjin.” You burst out into laughter. “Don’t you hear how ridiculous that sounds? This is what I was afraid of!”

“What were you afraid of?”

“I was afraid you were going to make this weird!”

“Not weird!” He grins, grasping your shorts to yank down to your ankles. These are also thrown across the room. “I just wanted to remind you that everything which happens, happens for your ultimate good.”

“Oh?” Hooking both ankles around his waist, you tug him towards you. “Is that so?”

Seokjin catches himself with both hands. “Obviously,” he grins, removing his glasses. These are placed carefully on the nightstand beside you. “I’m going to make sure only good things happen to you, babe.”

Your smile falters a bit when he leans down to kiss you, since his words are sweet and his taste even sweeter. Seokjin’s hand finds your hair, wrapping around strands to gently pull. His kisses are soft at first, his mouth melding with yours, but then your lips part and his tongue slips inside.

“Still,” you groan, forcing yourself to pull back. Seokjin pants a little, his cheeks flushed and warm. “There’s a line between positive affirmations though, and things which would turn me on.”

Seokjin begins to kiss up your jaw. He lingers a bit at your ear, biting down on the lobe. “Such as?” he muses, soothing this with a kiss.

“I don’t know,” you say, distracted by what he does with his tongue. “Telling me every cell in my body vibrates with good health and energy? Not hot. Telling me I’m a bad bitch? Hot.”

Seokjin’s breath catches as he looks up. “You don’t want me telling you good things are coming?”

Keeping his gaze locked on yours, he slides a hand down your side. The warmth of his palm slowly travels your curves, making you tense with eager anticipation. Seokjin lingers at your breast, tracing the side as you bite down on your lip.

No longer content with this, Seokjin moves to cup your breast in one hand. His thumb brushes your nipple, making you hiss and he smiles in triumph when it peaks against his palm.

“This has to go,” he complains, grasping the edge of your t-shirt to drag overhead. “Whoops – sorry, sorry,” he says when it tangles in hair. Tenderly, Seokjin works to get you free. 

You snort, laughing until he bends and closes his mouth over your breast.

“O-oh,” you falter, falling back on the sheets.

Seokjin sucks on a nipple, teasing the other with the pad of his thumb until you arch against him. 

“Seokjin,” you groan, hands winding into his hair.

Releasing you with a pop, Seokjin grins and strokes your glistening nipple. The act makes you shiver, your breasts aching and heavy with desire.

“You’re a goddess.” Seokjin presses a kiss to your clavicle before moving down. “A strong, soft, powerful woman.” He hovers above your abdomen. “You can fucking create life. How badass is that?”

The idea makes you shiver, seeing his lips pressed to your belly like this, his hips wedged between yours. You imagine the possibility of it happening one day – of Seokjin filling you up with his cum, giving you everything until you make something together.

“Is… is that something you think about?”

Seokjin’s gaze flashes. “Mm,” he says casually, dragging a finger up the center of your panties. “Can you imagine you pregnant? Carrying my baby for everyone to see. It’d be fucking hot as hell,” he groans, cupping your heat. “I’m losing my mind thinking about it, but that’s not what this is about.”

“No?”

He shakes his head. “Tonight is about me telling you how sexy it is when you make positive decisions. Mm, shut that negativity out of your life,” he grins, slipping your panties aside.

You want to laugh, but find this to be impossible when his finger slips into your folds, sliding up and down to feel how drenched you are. Lingering at your clit, Seokjin rubs the hood and pulls a whine from your lips. Then he pulls back, yanking your panties down and opening your legs to spread you further.

Seokjin groans, seeing the way arousal clings to your folds. Using two fingers, he drags them up and down your sensitive sex. Each time he gets near the top, he squeezes gently on either side of your tender clit. It forces your hips to arch on the bed, wanting him closer.

“Seokjin,” you pant, grabbing his hand. “Put a finger inside me.”

“Good decision.” Seokjin shakes his head, hair falling into his gaze. Slowly, he sinks a single finger into your heat.

“Shit,” you moan, reveling in the stretch he gives you. Seokjin slowly slides in and out, bending to press a kiss to your hip.

“Want your mouth,” you whimper, grasping his hair to gently push down.

Seokjin does not hesitate, grasping your hip to lick your sex. He moves casually at first, tongue curling against you, but then he gives in to eat you out in earnest. A gasp tears from your lips, hands fisting in hair while he sucks your swollen clit. His finger refuses to stop, hitting even deeper and you cry out his name while he splays you on the bed.

Pulling back, he spreads your lips with one hand before diving back in. You moan, feet planted firmly on the bed while a fresh wave of arousal soaks his finger inside you.

“Want to come like this?” Seokjin breathes, pulling back.

His lips glisten with your arousal, hair dark and messy where you have pulled at the strands.

“No,” you declare, pulling him upwards. Grasping the cotton of his boxer-briefs, you push them down. “Want to tell you what an innovator you are while you’re balls-deep inside me.”

Seokjin cracks up, a gigantic grin on his face. “You used balls-deep,” he says, chucking his underwear to the floor. “Does that mean it’s officially approved as foreplay material?”

“Absolutely not.” You guide his cock to your center. “I was just feeling generous.”

“You are generous,” he agrees, sliding his cock up and down your folds. Seokjin’s jaw goes a bit slack, lost in realization of how turned on you are. “You generously let me give you orgasms whenever I want.”

Slipping partway inside, Seokjin looks up to relish the sight of your parted lips. You get like this whenever he enters you, and he does not know if you notice. Dazed, fucked out and seeming like you can’t take anymore – although you always do. You always beg him to move and it drives Seokjin crazy; makes him feel so big inside you.

“How is that generous of me?” Eager, you cant your hips against his. “You’re the one making me cum. Seokjin… baby… please.”

Seokjin smiles, triumphant, and pushes inside you another inch.

“It’s generous because of that look on your face.” Bending his lips to your neck, he pushes in a bit more. “You look fucking destroyed whenever you come. Makes me so hard. Sometimes days later, I’ll be in the middle of a work meeting and remember your face while I fucked you against the mirror and then, it’s a battle to tame my raging hard-on.”

“So, really, I’m an inconvenience,” you say, wriggling your hips underneath him to force him in a bit more.

“Never,” Seokjin says, as he bottoms out.

The look on his face is so soft, you cannot help but pull his lips to yours. Seokjin holds himself still at first, but soon the kiss deepens, and he starts to thrust. Your lips move together, forging a pattern which mimics below.

His cock stretches your walls, bowing your back as you arch from the bed. Legs wrapping around his waist, you hook them over his ass to take him even deeper. Seokjin keeps one arm on the sheets, his other hand grasping yours to stretch overhead.

He does not pull out with each thrust, keeping himself inside as he rocks forward. Each time he moves brushes his pelvis to your clit, teasing your body and making you tremble.

“Seokjin,” you whisper, lips brushing his nose.

“Yeah, baby?”

“Maybe there’s merit to this whole thing after all.”

Chuckling, he squeezes your hand above you. “I just want you to know how perfect you are. Also, I genuinely think it’s impossible for sex with you to be bad.”

When you tighten further around him, Seokjin begins to move faster. His hips smack against your ass, scooting you up on the bed.

“You never know,” you warn, sliding a hand down his back. Tenderly, you cup his ass with one hand. “What if I use teeth in my next blow job?”

“How much teeth are we talking here?” he grunts, angling his hips to hit even deeper. “Because like, a little teeth might be fun. If you bite down on my dick though, we’d have to talk.”

You gasp, legs shaking when he hits a certain spot. “Okay, no teeth,” you agree, gripping him tighter. Your entire body feels like a live wire, waiting to snap. “Can’t do anything to risk this perfect dick of yours.”

Seokjin inhales and pulls back, sitting down on his heels. Sliding one hand to each of your knees, he pushes them up on your chest. Before you can utter a word, he thrusts back inside you, stretching you out in a way which leaves you unable to speak.

“You like that baby?” he says, catching the look on your face.

“Yes!” you gasp, helping him out by grabbing both knees yourself. Pulling them higher, you spread yourself wider.

Seokjin groans at the sight, bending forward to slip his thumb over your clit. “You’re so fucking hot,” he breathes, and when you open your eyes, you find him staring at you.

Not your tits, which are bouncing, nor where his cock enters your body, but at you and the emotions of this make you snap in his arms. Seokjin crushes his mouth to yours as your orgasm claims you, following this up with several thrusts as he comes undone. You feel him spill inside you, a wet, sticky mess which slowly seeps around his cock.

Seokjin’s lips soften, gently pulling back to rest his forehead to yours. After a while, you stir in his arms.

“Seokjin?” you mumble, a bit dazed.

“Yeah?”

“You’re gonna get cum on the bed.”

He snorts, chest shaking yours as he pulls out. Rolling over, Seokjin snags a tissue from the nightstand and returns to clean you up. After your trip to the bathroom, you hop back in bed and find Seokjin under the covers.

He makes room for you, draping an arm over your waist to pull you to his chest. You eagerly obey, wrapping around him like a koala.

“Y/N,” Seokjin murmurs, as you drift off to sleep.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Snuggling even closer, you hide your smile in his chest. “I know. Love you, too.”

He nods, the room falling into silence, quiet except for the distant honking of cars below. You allow the lull to pull you under, relaxing against him until Seokjin sighs.

“But please don’t use teeth anywhere near my dick.”

[ Refinery29 Masterlist ]

© kpopfanfictrash, 2020. Do not copy or repost without permission.