#worst games fucking ever nobody talk to me.

[emptylotfiasco]

[repotting]

people who don't normally read sci fi have such bad taste in sci fi 😭

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

what’s the story about the generative power model and water consumption? /gen

There's this myth going around about generative AI consuming truly ridiculous amount of power and water. You'll see people say shit like "generating one image is like just pouring a whole cup of water out into the Sahara!" and bullshit like that, and it's just... not true. The actual truth is that supercomputers, which do a lot of stuff, use a lot of power, and at one point someone released an estimate of how much power some supercomputers were using and people went "oh, that supercomputer must only do AI! All generative AI uses this much power!" and then just... made shit up re: how making an image sucks up a huge chunk of the power grid or something. Which makes no sense because I'm given to understand that many of these models can run on your home computer. (I don't use them so I don't know the details, but I'm told by users that you can download them and generate images locally.) Using these models uses far less power than, say, online gaming. Or using Tumblr. But nobody ever talks about how evil those things are because of their power generation. I wonder why.

To be clear, I don't like generative AI. I'm sure it's got uses in research and stuff but on the consumer side, every effect I've seen of it is bad. Its implementation in products that I use has always made those products worse. The books it writes and flood the market with are incoherent nonsense at best and dangerous at worst (let's not forget that mushroom foraging guide). It's turned the usability of search engines from "rapidly declining, but still usable if you can get past the ads" into "almost one hundred per cent useless now, actually not worth the effort to de-bullshittify your search results", especially if you're looking for images. It's a tool for doing bullshit that people were already doing much easier and faster, thus massively increasing the amount of bullshit. The only consumer-useful uses I've seen of it as a consumer are niche art projects, usually projects that explore the limits of the tool itself like that one poetry book or the Infinite Art Machine; overall I'd say its impact at the Casual Random Person (me) level has been overwhelmingly negative. Also, the fact that so much AI turns out to be underpaid people in a warehouse in some country with no minimum wage and terrible labour protections is... not great. And the fact that it's often used as an excuse to try to find ways to underpay professionals ("you don't have to write it, just clean up what the AI came up with!") is also not great.

But there are real labour and product quality concerns with generative AI, and there's hysterical bullshit. And the whole "AI is magically destroying the planet via climate change but my four hour twitch streaming sesh isn't" thing is hysterical bullshit. The instant I see somebody make this stupid claim I put them in the same mental bucket as somebody complaining about AI not being "real art" -- a hatemobber hopping on the hype train of a new thing to hate and feel like an enlightened activist about when they haven't bothered to learn a fucking thing about the issue. And I just count my blessings that they fell in with this group instead of becoming a flat earther or something.

[s-4pphics]

let the rain sing. 2 (a.a)

wc;cw: 4.1k, dadsbestfriend!abby, lawstudent!oc, large age gap (oc is 25, abby is mid 40s), abby is bi <3, SMUT MDNI, nipple play, eating out no bbq, strap ons, fingering, mating press😳, dirty talk, squirting, dumbification, slight dubcon, choking, mult. orgasms, abby’s so pussy drunk soo real, angst :(, mentions of grief and loss, dassit me finks

You were going to kill somebody. It’s been declared. 

Your latest lecture was, by far, the worst you’ve ever had, and you were feeling vengeful. On your instructor, your classmates, everyone.

You seethed in your seat, smoke nearly wafting off you and suffocating you in the tight space of your car. You prayed that you wouldn’t get a speeding ticket from how hard your foot pressed on the gas pedal. The familiar sluggishness that overtook your form was making you hunch over the steering wheel, your worn eyes burning from tears as you recollected the pure devastation you felt when you saw terms on the screen that you weren’t familiar with yet just an hour before.  

You’d brought the wrong notebook to your last class, making the lecture completely fucking useless because you had nothing to reference. There were so many systems listed that you hadn’t memorized, terminology you didn’t remember from your books. And you were going to fucking… kill somebody. 

You’d been so fucking embarrassed. Nobody around you even knew or cared about your slip up, but you still searched around the room, waiting for someone to ridicule you for fucking up this late in the game. You were about to graduate, and you still were behaving like a fucking rookie. A first year. Maybe you weren’t ready for your fucking degree. 

You’d scrambled to get as many notes down as you could without snapping your hand clean off your wrist, but it wasn’t enough to jog your memory. 

Your vehicle came to a halt when you reached the now all too familiar neighborhood, and you put your car in park in front of the residential mailbox. 

You hadn’t realized that you took the backwoods route that led to Abby’s neighborhood. You were parked right in front of her home, and you thanked god when you saw her car parked in the driveway. You never came to see her without warning, but you were so desperate for a distraction that you hadn’t bothered to text her. You need anything to ease the tension in your body from today, even just for a little bit. 

You exited and locked your car before booking it across the street and up the stairs to her porch, knocking on her front door with urgency; The pounding on the wood made your headache worse. 

It took only a minute for her door to pull open, and you were instantly swallowed up by the smell of flowers, her scent surrounding you and easing the tension in your shoulders. She looked so comfortable, only clad in sweats, a tank top, and slides, her soft hair framing her face. The tension in your shoulders eased a bit.

She smiled at the sight of you, the lines of her eyes creasing, but it dropped when she studied your expression, “Hi, you okay?” 

You shrugged. You don’t think you were. You weren’t sure anymore. 

Your breathing shuddered, your anger from earlier shifting into want when you saw her, “Um… sorry for coming without notice— “

She shook her head gently, “No, no, it’s alright. I was just reading, come in.”

She moved to the side and allowed you entry, shutting and locking the door behind you. 

Her angelic voice came from behind you as you threw your purse on her couch, “Would you like some tea? I just bought this new flavor! It’s mint and chamomile and it’s so good. I usually don’t drink mint things because my teeth are sensi— “

“Abby,” you cringed at the tone you used to cut her off. 

“Yes?”

You spun to look at her, “I don’t want tea.” 

“… Oh. Okay.” She looked around awkwardly, her eyes downcast. 

A moment of silence passed before she spoke, “Wanna go upstairs?” 

You're glad she understood. You nodded with persistence. 

“Please.” 

You trapped Abby against her bedroom door, slamming it shut as you shoved your tongue in her mouth. 

The kiss was eager and desperate, your hands grabbing everywhere they could on her body. You attacked her hair, tits, thighs, anywhere you could reach as you pressed up against her. Hers were on you just as much, but much more calculated, tightly grabbing at the plush on your hips, her nails digging through your sweater. She grabbed your ass through your jeans, spreading the cheeks as much as she could through the fabric. 

Your mouths were smacking together, spit coating the outside of your mouths as your teeth clanged together. It was wet and sloppy, and it made you drip in your underwear. Her strong arms came up to wrap around your hips, and she led you both over to her perfectly made bed. 

You detached your mouth from hers to yank her t-shirt off, her arms coming up so you could toss it somewhere. You eyed her bare chest before reconnecting your lips. You brought your hand up to her chest to squeeze her tits, tweaking her nipples with precision. She hummed in your mouth and kissed you deeper, her hands traveling to pull at the hem of your sweater. 

You raised your arms up so she could remove the fabric, but before you could pounce on her again, she pushed you onto her cloud-like mattress, looking down at your laid-out body from where she stood above you. 

But she didn’t move on you like she usually did; she just stared, her eyes wandering over your body. You watched her take in your bra-clad chest, wandering down to your stomach and belly button, only to come back up to eye your chest again. She was digesting you with such patience that it made you insecure, but you didn’t move from your position. Your heart matched the pounding pulse of your cunt. 

She brought her hands up to your torso, right under the hem of your bra, laying her palm flat against the bare skin. Your breath caught in your throat when her nails dug into you, and you arched into her touch; you needed her closer. Her hand slowly dragged down your body until she reached the button of your jeans. 

She didn’t undo them, dragging her hand back up your body until she reached your tits, grabbing at both with one hand before her other hand coming to join her massages. You watched her face shift as she touched you; her eyes were hungry but… fragile as her cheeks glowed in the dimly lit space. 

Her hands slipped under your bra, her fingers immediately playing with your nipples. Your core clenched with every pull she gave them, your body shuddering under her precise attacks. Your back arched into her touch as your eyes fluttered. 

And then you heard the ripping of fabric. 

You looked down in shock as she tore at your bra, completely ripping it to shreds and tossing the flimsy strands behind her and onto the floor. You couldn’t help the smirk that spread across your face at her desperation. She giggled when you shook your head at her. 

She leaned over you, her head ducking down to suck your nipples into her mouth; She moaned into the skin as her tongue swirled around you. You propped yourself up on your elbows to watch her lath at your chest, coating them in her spit as her tongue flicked on your buds.

Your hips twitched under her body, “Fuck me, Abby, please— “ 

“Needa get you wet first, baby,” she hummed around your nipple, her words shaking the sensitive skin. You jerked, your legs twitching next to her hips. 

“I’m so fuckin’ wet already, c’mon, gimme what I want— “

Your words were cut off by her soft lips as they molded against yours. You made a small noise, your eyes slowly fluttering shut at the feel of her pillowy mouth. She kissed you with so much care and affection, and it made you squirm, your thighs squeezing around her waist. 

You were pulled out of your trance when you felt her hand on your cheek, her thumb softly caressing your face. You instantly stiffened; She was so sweet, too fucking gentle, and it your heart pound at an alarming pace, anxiety suddenly swirling in your stomach as you cringed. 

You gently pushed at her shoulders and looked at her, her brows furrowed in confusion. 

“You alright?” She checked in softly. 

You nodded quickly, your pussy squeezing at her tone. “Um… yeah. Just— can we, like— “

She shuffled off you and stood at the side of bed, awkwardly grabbing at the back of her neck as she apologized, “Yeah! Um, I’m sorry. I kinda just— “

“Don’t apologize! I’m just in a,” Lie. Just fucking lie! You looked off to the side, “… kinda in a hurry.” 

You sounded like such an asshole. You had nowhere to fucking be, but you always felt terrible whenever you were forced to shut down her intimate gestures. You had no choice but to be stiff with her; She knew what this was between you two, and it could never go beyond that. 

You watched her back muscles flex as she rummaged through her drawer, pulling out her strap and some lube. She undressed quietly, only clad in her boy shorts as she stepped into and adjusted the thick dick on her waist, securing it before turning around to look at you, returning to her previous space between your legs. 

You shivered with want, moving to unbutton your jeans, but she slapped your hands away to do it herself. She moved hastily, ripping your pants and underwear down your legs, and tossing them to the floor.

Your bare pussy throbbed as you held your legs open so she could ease into your cunt, but she yanked you to the edge of the bed, your ass hanging off it and dropped to her knees. 

She shoved her tongue inside your pussy without warning, her wet muscle wiggling around, massaging your walls as your clit pulsed. Your head dropped onto her sheets as you sighed, her tongue swiping up from your entrance to your twitchy bud. She spat the wetness she collected from inside you onto your clit and you groaned. 

She sucked it into her mouth, and you cried out, your hands flying down to her soft hair to pull at it. 

She was licking into all of your spots with enthusiasm, and your hips bucked into her mouth as your orgasm quickly built in your stomach. She took time to learn your body in a way that no one else did and it always shocked you how fast she made you cum. You could already fucking feel it with every quick flick of her tongue on you. 

You bucked in shock when you felt two of her thick fingers slip past your entrance, curling up to hit that spot inside that made you see white. She was hitting it with obscene accuracy, your pussy practically melting around her fingers with every plunge into you. You were about to see god, she was going to make you squirt—

“Fuckin’—ah fuck!”

Your orgasm was going to be big; you felt it and it was so fucking close—

You need to cum, you need it you need it! “Abby, fuck, s’coming— “

Your hands shamelessly flew behind your knees to hold your legs up, your shouts of your orgasm increasing in pitch. You craned your neck and you forced your eyes open to look down at her, finding that she was already staring up at you, watching you lose it on her tongue. 

“Feels s’good, fuck— “

She grinned on your pussy, “Then cum in m’fucking mouth, baby, needa swallow it— “

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as your walls crushed her fingers, your orgasm building and building and building—

You couldn’t even understand your loud babbles as her fingers dug into you, milking your spot and forcing your cum out of you and onto her tongue. Your eyes fell shut as your body wracked in pleasure. You shouted obscenities and her name and demands of fuck me harder! The splashes of your wetness coated your thighs and her blankets and her. 

You could hear her slurping at your cum as it poured out of you, her tongue shoving in alongside the grind of her fingers. She was moaning against your pussy like she was cumming, and it made you cum harder. 

You felt her pull away and out of you, the cap of a bottle opening and sloppy wet sounds filling your ears. You nearly screamed when her dick squeezed in between your still clenching walls. Pure pleasure and shock rushed through you, prolonging the last bits of your orgasm. 

You felt a soft hand grab your chin as she allowed you to recover, your eyes fluttering open to meet her serene ones. 

“Okay, honey?” She cooed at you. 

You blinked dazedly as your walls clenched harder on her, and she chuckled, slowly pushing deeper into you, “Yeah? Missed me, baby?”

Your pussy clenched in approval, and you nodded thoughtlessly. Her nails dug into your jaw as she grinded into you, “Missed this tight fucking pussy. Always thinkin’ about it.”

You brokenly moaned her name. She pulled out and fucked back into you harder, making you squeal. 

She released the soft grip she had on your face, tightly grasping the back of your knees, and pinning them to your chest. You gasped sharply as she slid deeper, hitting where you couldn’t reach, right where you needed her. You could already feel another orgasm building in your toes, your eyes watering from the quick snap of her hips. 

You couldn’t think or talk coherently as she used you, rendering you completely brainless every time her fat tip hit your g-spot. All you could do was grab at her hips, her thighs, her sheets, and wail at the top of your lungs how good it felt. The wet sounds of your pussy drenching her dick made your toes curl. 

You were going to sleep so fucking good. 

“You’re so fucking sexy, holy fuck— “

Your stomach was in tight knots as her skin slapped against yours. 

“Can’t think with this dick inside you? Huh?” She sounded so cocky with every sneer she sent you, your eyes shut tightly. It’s right there, right there right there—

“This is all you want from me? Need me t’take care of this nasty fucking cunt?” She spat at you. 

You hated it when she said things like that aloud, when she made your indifference towards her known; It crushed your heart, but how could you express your grievances when she was this deep in your guts? You were awful and selfish, and she didn’t deserve to be used like this, but you needed it. Needed her to do this for you. It made you feel sane, every thought in your head silenced and replaced with her her her—

You babbled nonsense warnings of how hard you were about to cum, and you felt her large hand clutch your throat. You wheezed out begs, pleading her to keep fucking you there, make you cry. Please, please, please, I need to sleep, Abby, please!

“Shhh, I gotchu, baby. Such a good girl.” 

Your orgasm shocked you and her. You couldn’t hold back the scream you let out when your eyes shut, —even with her choking you out—your brain rattling in your head as your body attempted to jerk away from the intense pleasure she gave you. 

But she held your legs down, keeping you still as she fucked you through it. You heard her moaning over your sobs and keens, only making out so fuckin’ hot and gonna make me cum so fucking good, and it threw you right into another orgasm. 

Your walls squeezed around her with such constriction that she could barely move, but she managed to pull out and you almost cried at the emptiness, your orgasm slowly dying. She grabbed your hips and eased you higher up the bed before climbing up, pressing against and looming over you. 

She hooked your knees into the crevice of her elbow, popping her tip into you with no hands, slowly pushing in so you could feel her. The details of her dick were catching on your walls and the feeling was making you tear up. She eventually sat fully inside you, grinding her entire length in so her tip nudged your spot, and you were about to fucking cum—

You were completely limp under her, relishing the kisses and sucks she gave your neck. She slid out slowly until just her tip was in you before dropping her hips, fucking her cock back into you. You thought you screamed but no noise left you as she pounded your cunt. She was hitting you so good, rotating between moving with her dick fully lodged in your guts and thrusting as pretty moans filled your ear. 

You came so fucking hard, only having strength to pull at her sheets and sob, squealing her name and trembling as she sent you to space. She was somehow louder than you were, and you knew she was cumming. You had no energy to move, to stop her, to do anything. You just laid there and took what she gave as your body melted into the memory foam, relaxing completely as she rode out her pleasure inside you. 

Your walls were still contracting around her dick, hugging like they never wanted her to leave, wanted to cling onto her forever. Her movements eventually came to a stop as she whined in satisfaction into your neck. She plopped against you, your sweaty, heaving chests pressed together. 

The last thing you remember before knocking out was her soft kisses on your skin. 

You woke up to blinding sunshine. You forgot to shut the fucking blinds again. 

You squeezed your eyes shut, shoving your face into the plush pillow under you. You inhaled deeply and immediately stiffened. 

Flowers. Fucking flowers, what the fuck—

You never left Abby’s last night. 

You quickly sat up as your head rushed, looking over to see the vacant, mussed spot on her bed. You could hear the shower running and quiet hums coming from the master bathroom, and it made your heart race. 

You threw the covers off you and stood quickly, walking over to where your clothes were neatly folded on her dresser. You saw the remaining strands of your bra balled up near her mirror. You hated how your pussy clenched.

You grabbed your clothes and dressed in urgency, nearly tripping over your stubborn pant leg. 

The clattering of your phone falling from your pocket shook you. You bent down to grab it, the bright screen reading 12:34 and showing six missed calls from your parents. Fuck, fuck, fuck—

The running water shut off and you tensed. 

You shoved your phone in your back pocket as your flight senses tingled. You would feel awful if you left her place without warning, and she would probably never talk to you again if you did. You were guarded around her enough as it is, and the last thing you were going to do was embarrass her further. 

You stood by the dresser, awkwardly playing with your fingers until the bathroom door opened.

A dripping Abby walked out, clad in a towel, her wet hair wrapped in another as steam left the bathroom. 

She shut the door gently before turning to face you. She looked bright, but it dimmed when she took in your frazzled appearance. You needed to leave. Now, now, now—

“H-Hey, um… are you leaving?” 

You nodded stiffly, voice monotone, “Yeah. I didn’t wanna leave without telling you, though.” 

Her hand on the doorknob dropped to her side as she sighed in exasperation. She scoffed, “That’s surprising. I thought you would’ve taken any opportunity to leave.”

Your eyes squinted at her suddenly snarky tone. You two never argued: there may be tension or words left unsaid after you leave her, but you never fought about your relationship, “What the hell are you talking about?” 

She looked at you in shock, “Really? You’ve been acting like being around me is a chore this entire time! We… We don’t even speak— “

“What is there to talk about?” Your voice rose to match hers, your arms flailing around. “We both know what we agreed to when we started this!”

“I know we did! But you…” she looked so hurt and her voice was cracking, and it was making you uncomfortable. “You just treat me like I’m— “

You didn’t want to hear this anymore. You interrupted her harshly, “I'm not treating you like anything! We’re behaving exactly how we’re supposed to be! If anyone were to find out about what we’re doing, we’re fucked! That’s… that’s just how it is now!” 

She took her bottom lip between her teeth and sniffled. She nodded and looked down at her bare feet before meeting your eyes again. Hers were teary, and it sent a painful jolt from your chest to your head, your heart filling with remorse. You needed to lay the fuck down. 

Her voice shook as she spoke, but it was stern. 

“Fine. You… you can let yourself out.” 

Your shoulders dropped and your tone softened, “Abby— “

She shook her head, hers spiteful. “You know where the key is. Enjoy the rest of your day.” 

You couldn’t get your apologies out before she pried the bathroom door open, walking inside and slamming it shut behind her. You flinched as it echoed in your skull. 

The ringing of your phone blared through her four walls. You resigned, leaving her bedroom and gently shutting the door. You walked over to her staircase, pulling your device out to answer your mother’s call. 

“Hey,” You leaned against the stair railing, trying to ignore Abby’s quiet sobs coming from her room. Your eyes shut, guiltily picking at the skin on your lip. 

Your mom’s angered tone blasted through the speakers, “What the hell do you mean hey! Where have you been!” 

You descended the stairs, sighing when you reached the bottom, “I… was at my friend's house! We got caught up, my bad.” 

“Yeah, well, when you get caught up, you better tell m— “ 

Your mom’s voice was suddenly cut off by your father’s distant laughter. You heard her shout gimme my phone before your dad’s cheery tone rang through the line. 

“Heyyy, sweetheart. Ignore your mom, when are you comin’ home?” 

You couldn’t help the tears that jerked in your eyes at his voice. 

What the fuck were you doing. 

You cleared your throat before speaking, “I’m, uh… I’m leaving my friend's place now. I’ll be there soon.” 

“Okay, baby! Take your time,” You heard your mom yell out don’t tell her that!

“I love y’all,” You did, you loved them so much. 

“We love you so much more. Drive safe,” You heard your mom’s shout and your father’s laughter, and more tears jerked in your eyes. 

When the line went dead, you propped yourself over the back of Abby’s couch and cried in silence. You tried to keep your small breakdown short; You still had so much editing to do for your thesis. But you couldn’t stop your flowing tears. 

The drops slid down your face and onto her soft lounge pillows. You never cared enough to inspect her living space since she invited you in the first time, but you couldn’t help your wandering eyes as you digested her living room. The area was quaint and serene: there was a small fountain propped on a small table in the corner of the room, crème and black walls littered with framed artwork, decorative tables holding vases filled with fresh roses, her coffee table that still held the half filled, rose-littered mug with a tea bag string hanging out of it, her reading glasses. A framed photo of a smiling Abby carrying her just as happy baby girl on her back in front of a lake. 

And a marked book titled Working Through Grief right next to it. 

It forced a loud sob out of you, your hand flying over your mouth to hush any noise you might’ve made.

You fucked up. You fucked up so bad, and you still had the audacity to be in her safe space. You needed to go; you couldn’t fucking breathe. 

You snatched your purse off the couch and booked it for the front door, almost forgetting to retrieve the key to lock it behind you. You secured it and hid the key in its designated spot before rushing across the street to your car. 

You grabbed your keys from your purse and unlocked it, pulling the driver's door open before flinging yourself inside. You slammed the door and your heavy head dropped onto the steering wheel. You took some deep breaths, trying to calm the nausea that hit you out of nowhere. Sobs wracked through you as you shook in your seat. 

You were so fucking selfish. 

daaaamn wassup y’all 

writers block tried to get me omg y’all seen that shit😳😳 I FOUGHT BACK THO 

taglist y’all know wassup omg love y’all @saturnsellie @ohlawdthebirds @fibrogirlie @unangelic-thoughts @chrry1ovr @uraesthete @gravygranules @digit4lslut @machetegirl109 @letsreadsomesins-shallwe @macaroni676 @sillygooselit

kissies mwwwwAHHHHH

prologue. part one. part three. interlude. part four.

[tazzertopia]

phantom troupe negative traits/habits hcs

*i’m aware that being thieves and murderers are already pretty negative traits but this is more related to their personality 😊😊😊

-

chrollo

-unintentionally can sound super sarcastic and condescending

-like if he’s explaining something the cadence of his voice might sound like he’s mocking you, when in reality he just sounds like that

-if you’re in a pissy mood and he’ll ask what’s wrong it kinda sounds sarcastic ?????

-he’ll see you crying and be like:

“are you okay? what’s up?”

and you’ll kinda just be like 🤨🤨🤨 i’m literally crying ???????? what do you MEAN “what’s up?”

-he’ll apologise for sounding sarcastic but he was genuinely asking

-the troupe knows that’s just how he sounds but anyone who doesn’t know him that well just thinks he’s being a prick

shalnark

-literally has zero social awareness

-considering he sees other people as toys, he doesn’t give a single fuck about randos in public

-he’s the type to have a loud conversation on speakerphone on a busy, crowded train filled to the brim with tired people who just got off their 9-5 and want to go home 💔

“hello? yeah, of course i can talk! so today i was-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP”

“…..anyways so-“

-is always confused as to why people are glaring at him but like i said, he really couldn’t give one

-he also probably sees someone who’s about to doze off or looks visibly irritated and will make it his mission to piss them off as much as possible and strike up a conversation with them

phinks

-extremely sore loser

-if you’re playing a game with him (like mario kart) and he’s about to lose, he will walk away right then and there and quit

-will claim the game is rigged and that’s why he was about to lose (if he wins, he will rub it in and tell you to just improve at the game)

-the troupe audibly groans whenever he asks to join in when they play video games

-one time he unplugged the tv when he lost a game against feitan and shalnark (if he doesn’t win, NOBODY gets to win)

-will claim the other person cheated if he loses

“COME ON!! SHALNARK PROBABLY HACKED THE GAME OR SOMETHING, MAKING ME LOSE!”

“…have you ever considered that maybe you just suck at the game?”

*throws remote at tv*

-just let him win if you want to have a easy breezy life

uvogin

-absolutely zero volume control

-he’s loud in public, but he’s completely unaware how loud he’s being

-this also makes him the worst person to tell secrets to

*pspspspswhisperwhisperwhisper*

“YOU THINK HIS HAIRLINE LOOKS LIKE THE MCDONALDS SYMBOL?”

everyone is staring. the man with the weird hairline you tried to whisper to uvo about is staring. you are extremely embarrassed. you want the ground to swallow you whole.

-to add insult to injury, he also points.

-because of this, it’s super easy to tell when he’s talking about you because he will yell AND point

-he doesn’t gaf who hears

shizuku

-the most brutally honest person you’ll ever meet

-doesn’t sugarcoat anything

-it’s not like she wants to hurt your feelings, but she just doesn’t see the point in beating around the bush or lying

-if she thinks you look fat in something, she’ll tell you. if she thinks you don’t suit a certain colour, she’ll tell you. if she thinks your cooking tastes like actual dookie left out to cook in the desert sun, she will not hesitate to tell you.

-she also will not apologise if she hurts your feelings

-“why do i need to apologise for being honest?”

-she is winning the idgaf war 100%

-will probably forget what she said as well, which makes it worse

feitan

-rather than ask to borrow something of yours like a normal person, he will steal it and then proceed to gaslight you when you confront him about it

-makes sense for him due to his ‘thieves take what they want’ mentality

-will have you convinced that your memory is patchy

“feitan where the fuck are are my scissors?”

“beats me.”

“i know you took them.”

“did not.”

“they were on the counter like five minutes ago and you’re the only one in here”

“no they weren’t.”

-this will carry on until you admit you were wrong for accusing him, or you just drop it

-occasionally he will start drama with the other troupe members by stealing their shit (usually phinks) and making it seem like someone else did it

nobunaga

-quite possibly the most indecisive man you’ll ever meet

-you’d much rather prefer to get sentenced to eternal torture at guantanamo bay than have to ask nobunaga what restaurant he wants to go to later tonight

-“my mind will be made up by tonight, i swear!”

-it wasn’t.

-he’s one of those annoying indecisive people who will insist that you choose, but will get mad if you don’t choose the option he secretly sorta preferred

“i can’t decide between place a or b, you choose!”

“place b”

“really? place a looks much more classy”

“THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU PICK PLACE A?!”

-you’re convinced he’s only acting like this to piss you off, but he’s just like that

-in the end, you have to force him to flip a coin or else he wouldn’t get anywhere decision-wise

pakunoda

-she often gets lost in thought and zones out, which results in her unintentionally staring at people for a little too long

-because of her stern resting face (or rbf), it usually comes across as her glaring at you, which feels a lil uneasy, especially if you’re not close with her

-she will apologise profusely when she comes to, but before she does she will just be looking at you like

👁️_👁️

-as well as this, she will sometimes try and touch you to purposefully see your memories if she’s a bit suspicious of you for whatever reason

-if she thinks you’re lying about something for example, she will intrude your thoughts

-she’s not a particularly touchy-feely person so it’s quite amusing to see her try and touch you for seemingly no reason out of the blue

-a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do 🤷‍♀️

machi

-despite being one of the more upfront and mature members of the troupe, she’s also the worst one for holding grudges

-like she will hold a grudge for literal ages

-there are many she’s had for so long that she can’t even remember why she was mad in the first place

-at this point it’s more about keeping a streak than actually being mad

-best case scenario is that she forgets about it altogether or else best believe she will NOT be forgiving you. ever.

-she’s still pissed at the old guy who stepped on her toes by accident two years ago. and the waiter who tripped and dropped the tray on her eight months ago. or the questionable comment hisoka made last week.

-talks about getting vengeance on those she holds grudges against but can’t even remember who they are or what they did

“i swear i will find them, wherever they are, so they will get what’s coming to them.”

“that’s nice and all, but WHO are they and what did they do?”

“….. it’ll come to me soon hold on..”

-feels incomplete without holding a grudge against someone

franklin

-his big ass does NOT look where he’s walking and will bump into anything and anyone

-don’t expect him to apologise tho

-“apologise? maybe you should watch where you’re going.”

-don’t even try to fight him on this

-doesn’t see it as his duty to move out the way, but the duty of those around him

-the absolute NERVE

-the only reason why no one confronts him about it is because he’s tall and big as hell

-don’t die for getting bumped into

bonolenov

-one thing about him is that when he’s mad, he’ll give people the SILENT treatment

-heavy on silent

-could go for centuries if he wanted to

-and trust he’s a pro at keeping it up

-he doesn’t gaf if you’re in danger, he’ll keep on giving you the cold shoulder

-he won’t stop because he feels bad, but because he just can’t be bothered to keep ignoring you

-he will randomly just start talking to you again one day and will act confused if you question why he’s taking to you again after so long

-he won’t apologise for it tho 💯

kortopi

-his minuscule ass is always stepping on everyone’s trotters

-honestly sometimes he does it out of spite and will give look at you like 👁️ if you confront him

-there’s not much to say about him except he will sometimes accidentally sometimes not step on your feet

i fear i’m missing more members but irdgaf rn so enjoy !!!!! also these are fun to write to pls pls pls give me suggestions xoxoxo

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 40 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | season 2 | season 3 | lesson 39 | lesson 41.1 | lesson 41.2

the end of an era (season 2)

normal and hard spoilers

oh baby :(

see every time i remember how sheltered diavolo is it makes me hate his father that much more. he grew up with everything in the world, but practically nobody to share it with.

diavolo had to have been smart enough to have caught onto the reason behind mephisto's attachment to him at an early age. he might be dense, but he's not stupid. even if he and mephisto did end up becoming really good friends, diavolo knew early on that their proximity was for business and royalty purposes only, and that friendship and a genuine relationship was second to their professional relationship

i feel like this is why he initially thought of the brothers as treasures in regard to status rather than as people, and the mindset shifted to seeing them as treasures in regards to the relationship he formed with them. he wanted genuine connection, but forming a professional connection before a genuine relationship was so deeply ingrained in him that he defaulted to it without even realizing it

...he can't be fucking serious

GET HIM OUT I BEG

he would've done this regardless of the option we picked during the angel's trial i hate it here...can't he take a class or smth instead of experimenting on us

i'm gonna kill him /j

i'm a whore in the game so i technically date everyone at once. but why does he NEVER say i love you back ????? not even in the first game ????????

like ok you're a time demon who shouldn't get attached to anyone and you choose to stay unattached bc you'll lose everyone anyways blah blah blah but at least indulge me a little bit 💔

SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY I LOVE THEM

i feel like they know this is their last goodbye yk? obviously barbatos does, but this feels very, very final on their part. maybe it's a different version the feeling they have when they go into mc's room, like they can feel mc being pulled away from them physically

what if the end of the lesson or the story in the hard part of the lesson is them portalling back to their timeline and the brothers getting a glimpse of their alternate selves? and then everything clicking into place after mc leaves?

the fact that simeon has as many doubts about his father's intentions as lucifer and his brothers did really solidifies my belief that he wanted to, in the worst case, fall with the brothers. and if he didn't fall, he'd at least have begged for answers as much as lucifer did before the war. he was demoted after the war for helping the brothers in canon, and i feel like he still beats himself up about it because of the side he chose. him and raphael both, but raphael is better at hiding it

(i have a whole post about simeon and michael before the war here)

i've said this about a million times but...

the brothers ever 🫶🏽

they're such shitheads but also extremely concerned i love their dynamic sm

SEE I TOLD YOU ‼️ HE MASKS HIS FEAR WITH ANGER (even though i'm pretty sure this was confirmed in canon in the og game and in nb s1)

him admitting that he was scared though? putting his pride aside and actually talking about his feelings for once? this is proof of how much he trusts mc, how much he loves and cares for them, even if he can't explain why the feelings he holds for them are so strong

it also shows that he's thankful to have someone who will care about and protect his brothers as much as he does, and some of the weight of the "oldest brother" mantle has been lifted. it allows him to be vulnerable and at least a little more carefree, which is why he's seen joking and laughing with his brothers so much more often in the later lessons in comparison to season 1 and early season 2

i feel like i'm SUPOOSED to reach bc why would he phrase it like that ??? i don't think he knows...but he's really intuitive

or maybe this was a way of the devs using him to unofficially-officially send us off and into our original timeline. idk. i'm reaching but they made me

THEY DID NOT

oh i'm really gonna cry...they took what we wrote in season 1 and showed it to the boys

i COMPLETELY forgot we even did this 😭 god i'm gonna cry i love this game sm

I KNEW NO TIME PASSED THANK GODDDDDD

i don't think i'd be able to handle it if the same amount of time passed across realms

i also think this is why they emphasized "time soup" so heavily, you can be put anywhere at any time as if nothing had changed

...i can't believe it's over

...for now at least

well time to read the HDD story and catch up on devilgram

[dross-the-fish]

Why do you dislike Musical!PoTO?

I've heard that there are better versions than the ones I've seen (a couple of clips of boots on youtube, the 25th royal albert hall performance and the 2004 movie) so take my ranting with a grain of salt. I've said it before and if you've followed me you probably know by now that I don't care much for Andrew Lloyd Webber, I feel like he's very hit or miss and for every Jesus Christ Superstar he writes there's a Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (pure shit, irredeemable, possibly the worst musical I've ever had to sit through) Something about Webber's music rubs me the wrong way, it seems like it's trying to be tongue-in-cheek but it just comes off as smug. Characters tend to feel extremely one-note. I HATE madam Giry in the musical. They kind of gave her the Daroga's role and it DOES NOT WORK. She says something early on in the film about how she thinks of Christine as a daughter but she doesn't do a fucking thing to protect her from Erik for the bulk of the musical? Like, you know what's going on, you know who her teacher is but your complicit in helping him deceive her? Why are you protecting him? It's not that you don't think he's dangerous, you clearly know he's capable of murder. I also hate how they handle Carlotta, she's not really a major character in the book and her singing is lacking not because she's bad but because she doesn't have any passion for her performances and she's wonderfully ruthless and calculating about ousting her competition. The depiction of a spoiled past her prime, primadonna who also can't sing and is too old for the roles she cast in is just another example of ALW being needlessly mean spirited. In the book she was actively manipulative about trying to kill Christine's career. There was something really villainous about the way she would use her popularity and her friends in high places to bribe the managers with flattery and gifts. She made newspapers stop giving Christine publicity to prevent her from getting her name out, then she filled the opera house with her own fans and supporters to outnumber anyone who was there for Christine. This woman has been in the game for a long time and she knows how to play it, probably because she's worked for years to build up her career and isn't ready to hand it over to some nobody from nowhere who happened to pop up on the one night Carlotta couldn't perform. You could write Carlotta with so much nuance and give her layers, make her an INTERESTING antagonist and ALW just doesn't. He goes for the low hanging fruit. The laziest trope he could have picked. Spoiled, vain and no actual talent. Given how much creative control over the movie he had I'm going to count that as his official adaptation of the musical and it takes everything I already don't like about the musical and makes it WORSE. Also I said before ALW writes music like someone who enjoys rock but doesn't actually understand it? "We needed somebody who has a bit of rock and roll sensibility in him. He's got to be a bit rough, a bit dangerous; not a conventional singer. Christine is attracted to the Phantom because he's the right side of danger." -Andrew Lloyd Webber on the character of Erik for the 2004 film. Honestly, no? No he doesn't, he has no rock and roll sensibility. Not in your musical, not in the book, not in the movie. What are you talking about Andy? That ridiculous guitar riff during the song The Phantom of the Opera? Because that meshed about as well with your hokey showtune style as eating cole slaw with your Chinese takeout. You CAN do it but you really shouldn't. "The film looks and sounds fabulous and I think it's an extraordinarily fine document of the stage show. While it doesn't deviate much from the stage material, the film has given it an even deeper emotional centre. It's not based on the theatre visually or direction-wise, but it's still got exactly the same essence. And that's all I could have ever hoped for." – Andrew Lloyd Webber

Andy you're full of crap. Go home. That said there are moments and songs I really like. Wishing you Were Somehow Here Again is heartbreaking and I like to think that she's talking about Erik and the broken pedestal of their relationship as much as she is her father. I don't know if that was intentional but I like the angle of Christine feeling heartbroken at the loss of a friend and father. But well, ALW ships Erik and Christine so of course that angle is never really considered. We get one moment where Christine is upset and says she gave Erik her mind blindly and one where she admits to being frightened of him before the performance of Don Juan, but I feel like as much as Christine is verbally resistant to him and clearly terrified of him the musical doesn't really validate her and takes every opportunity to build up the sexual tension between her and the phantom. The supporting characters don't really help either, Madam Giry is complicit in Erik's manipulations, Raoul seems largely dismissive and more focused on hunting down Erik when he finally believes her than protecting Christine (AllI Ask of You is a nice song but Raoul's actions and attitude before and after make it feel a bit hollow). In some weird ways I get why people watch the musical and think Erik is the better choice despite...the stalking, kidnapping and murder. No one is really committed to protecting this girl, not even the people who claim to love her. I can easily see how she'd still feel a need to cling to her angel of music even after the mask comes off given how completely ALONE she seems while surrounded by people who allegedly care about her. I also don't like how Raoul is depicted. Maybe it's the actors but I feel like he and Christine don't have chemistry and half the time he seems annoyed with her. Especially Hadley Frasier feels like he's ten minutes from being completely done, he has no patience. I don't buy that this is a man who ran into the sea to fetch her scarf or would run into a dangerous underground lair to rescue her but I do buy that he's going to become a drunken asshole in 10 years so I guess what they did with him in LND is predictable even if it is completely stupid. If you made it to the bottom of this rant congratulations, I hope that explains why I am not among the musical's phans and why I don't like how much it eclipses the book or other versions. I do think it's good but overrated and the flaws are more than I can over look. And yet I still seek it out from time to time, I still like the parts of it that I like and that I think do work. It's like a toxic ex I can't fully break up with, which I suppose is kind of fitting given the subject matter.

[bbykento]

I’ll make it up to you - gojo x gn! reader

wc. 1.1k | NOT proofread

contents! angst to fluff, comfort, gojo calls you clingy, neglect, cute nicknames, he does everything to make your anger gone, crying, overthinking, negative thoughts, praise.

you missed gojo so bad.

right now, you were just watching a movie or whatever you could do to occupy yourself. while gojo is out there hanging out with his friends, it’s been awhile since they’ve seen each other. you thought this wouldn’t change anything in your daily life.

but after a few weeks, it’s all he’s been doing. he’s always outside with his friends, barely acknowledging your presence. you get that it’s been quite awhile, but you’ve been feeling neglected.

You weren’t clingy whatsoever (maybe you were) but you missed him so bad. every damn time he came home he’d either be too tired and sleep right away or he’d play video games… with his friends again.

it was the same process all over again. you were getting tired, you were already having a rough week. you needed your boyfriend…

at the moment, it was currently 12:59 am. Where the fuck was your boyfriend?? you decided to text him, worried about his being.

You

baby, where are you? it’s 1 am already, you okay?

baby?

baby?

can you come home already? its kinda late

baby answer me

you were worried, he usually came home from their hangout by 7 pm or even earlier. though why was he taking longer? yes he’s the strongest he can take care of himself yeah yeah but it was your boyfriend. finally after a few minutes (it took 30 minutes) before he responded.

Gojo

js out w my bros dw

wow. he finally responded, in like one of the worst ways ever. he would usually reassure you sweetly that he’s okay and he’d be back quickly in 50+ messages, whenever he’d went out longer than usual. but this? its not him. it was a dry response, maybe someone took his phone?

You

when r u coming home?

baby?

Gojo

can you like stop?

stop being so clingy it’s annoying

im just hanging out w my bros

and im not gonna come home till for a little while

the reason why i hung out with them was to escape your clingy ass

so stfu for a moment

.

.

.

… what the fuck? im clingy? when im just worrying about your wellbeing?? you already had a bad day and just wanna cuddle with your boyfriend but he adds to the stress.

like the petty person you are, you take your things and leave his apartment with teary eyes. if he calls you clingy, might as well distance yourself from him. nobody to wake him up, take care of his drunken state, cook him breakfast, and all that.

….

a week passes by and not a single sign from him. he didn’t bother to text you, call you, go to your apartment, whatsoever. you guys don’t usually fight, and when you do it doesn’t last this long. he would always be to go to you first and apologize.

you were overthinking, maybe you were a burden to him? was he cheating on you? will he break up with you? negative thoughts clouded your mind as you cry your heart out and cuddle your pillow.

before suddenly, a ding comes from your door. was that finally gojo? was he here to apologize and comfort me? you fixed yourself before opening the door, the moment you opened the door it all answered your questions.

Oh. it was just a delivery man…..with a bouquet but instead it was filled with money shaped into flowers, a cute basket filled to the brim with your favorite snacks and food. Till you realize the “delivery man” had snow-white hair..

“gojo..?”

“baby..I’m sorry please? I know it’s not enough but fuck.. im sorry, im sorry…can we talk?” he looks up, finally letting you see his eyes. he looked, tired. and so did you.

“okay…” you say. you were glad he was back, you missed his touch, his face, his everything.

he gets inside and you close the door behind him. when he lands the items on a table, he suddenly hugs you.

“Baby i’m sorry I don’t know what i fucking said I didn’t mean any of that you know that right? please im sorry ill make it up to you… I just- I just..”

“Baby calm down, we’ll talk about it after you collect all your thoughts.”

he nods in agreement, before he nuzzles his head deeper into your neck taking in your scent. oh how he missed you, how bad he fucked up to the. point you guys haven’t interacted each other for a week.

“I’m sorry… I was just in a bad mood after my friends made a joke about hitting on you… I poured my anger on you, nothing was your fault. It’s all mine.. please forgive me baby I’ll do anything to make up to you..” he started to kiss your neck.

God did you want to cry again.

“don’t you know how much that hurt me?” tears started to roll down your cheeks.

“I know baby.. it’s all my fault blame it on me. I’ve been neglecting my cute and beautiful baby.. you don’t deserve it please don’t cry..” he wipes your tears and cups your face before kissing you all over your face

“Please just don’t do that ever again..” you hug him tightly. you were so happy and sad at the same time. after all those overthinking… his reassurance was what you needed the most.

“Of course, my love. please remember I don’t find you clingy or annoying, even if you were clingy I love every second of it. I love every bit of you. please don’t stop loving me like that, im an asshole fuck me. im sorry you had to deal with this asshole but this asshole loves you very much.” with every sentence, he gave a kiss on your face.

“I love how you make me breakfast everyday, the way you wake me up so sweetly, the way you text me to see how I’m doing, how you clean my clothes for me when I’m too tired, draw doodles on my chest with your fingers when im asleep, kiss me and put a blanket over me when you see me shiver, I love all of you and the things you do.” he continued.

He kisses you long and deep. you couldn’t stop the ecstatic feeling in you when he said all of those words. oh did you love him so much, and so did he.

Safe to say, you guys spent the night in each other’s arms. he spoiled you a lot the very next day, or rather for the past few weeks.

note: this would’ve been better if I havent fucking accidentally exited the draft without saving the work in progress ��� AAAAA

[laundrybiscuits]

(continued from this snippet)

“You could—” Jonathan moves his hands through the air like he’s conducting an invisible orchestra.

“I don’t know what that means,” Eddie tells him. They’ve been smoking all afternoon, so Jonathan’s even more of a space case than usual.

“He means you could pretend, dude,” says Argyle, who is putting little braids into Eddie’s hair. It’s very soothing. “Like, fake it ‘til you make it.”

“I mean. It would be good for Will to see, like…happily ever after. But gay. You know?” Jonathan tips the last of the Dorito crumbs into his mouth and contemplates the empty bag with devastatingly sorrowful eyes.

“That is the worst idea I’ve ever heard,” says Eddie. “Congrats, by the way, because I’ve heard a lot of bad ideas in my time, and I thought I knew all the major contestants. But lo and behold, dark horse Byers swoops in to steal the crown! The crowd goes wild.” He makes a raspy aaaaaah sound and wiggles his fingers to symbolize a packed stadium at the Bad Idea Olympic Games.

“That’s my boy,” says Argyle, reaching over to ruffle Jonathan’s hair. “Great job, brochacho.”

Eddie’s never totally sure whether Argyle’s doing an extended bit or not, and it’s the fucking best.

“So, you’ll do it?” Jonathan asks hopefully. He’s like a puppy dog, the way he perks up.

“Fuck no,” says Eddie. “Absolutely not under any circumstances. Fuck off.”

“Dude, I totally respect that,” says Argyle, starting on another braid. “Gotta honor your truth, Ed-head. Can’t shine a hella dope light from a flashlight powered by lie-batteries.”

“Every day I thank a god I don’t believe in for your presence in my life,” Eddie informs him.

———

Annoyingly, Jonathan doesn’t give up on the idea. What’s worse, he tries to be sneaky about it.

Eddie rolls up late to the next movie night, because he’s not always great with things like having a basic understanding of time and space. When he walks into the Byers-Hopper living room, Jonathan calls out, “Eddie, hey! There’s—you can sit here on the couch if you want. By Steve.”

Eddie gives him an unimpressed look. Jonathan doesn’t even have the decency to be phased by Eddie’s scorn, just shifts over to make room on the couch between him and Steve.

“Aww,” coos Eddie. “Did you miss me that much, Johnny-boy?” He drops right into Jonathan’s lap, slinging an arm around his neck.

“Why are you so heavy,” says Jonathan. “You look like if a stick figure had a baby with a mop.”

Eddie cackles. “It’s all the heavy metal. Weighs down my soul with whips and chains and demonic energy.”

“Jeez, you two, get a room.” Steve rolls his eyes.

The look of pure panic that crosses Jonathan’s face is pretty hilarious, all things considered.

“I’m not gay!” Jonathan blurts out. “Not that there would be—anything wrong with it. If I were. Because, um, gay people deserve love too. Because they’re just like us. I mean, people who aren’t gay. Which is me. I’m not. But it would be okay if I was.”

Will looks like he wants a rift to swallow him up where he sits, but Eddie thinks he looks a little bit pleased, too. It’s nice that Jonathan is trying so hard, even if Eddie has one or two notes on the execution.

“Okay, big guy,” says Eddie, patting Jonathan on the cheek. “Don’t have to throw a parade about it or anything.”

The movie’s okay, Eddie guesses. It’s Nancy’s pick, which means it’s a fast-talking political thriller that nobody but Robin can ever really follow. Afterwards, Steve leans over to him and says, “Hey, are you still out of Coke? I can pick some up on my way over after I drop Dustin off.”

Will gives Eddie a look, which is totally unjustified because this is a completely normal friend thing. Steve’s parents are in town, so he’s been spending a few nights camping out at Eddie’s, because everyone else has parents who’d probably object. It’s perfectly logical and completely normal. It’s not like he can bunk with Robin. Also, Robin kicks like a horse in her sleep.

But even though Eddie knows it’s a completely normal friend thing, he can also kind of see why Will might’ve gotten the wrong idea.

“Um,” he says. “Actually, maybe—not tonight? I just, Wayne’s been wanting to spend some more, like, uncle-nephew quality bonding time. You know he’s still kind of…” Eddie shrugs, grimacing. It’s true; Wayne’s been making a real effort to know what Eddie’s up to these days. Even though he hasn’t said anything, Eddie knows he’s traded some shifts to make their schedules line up a little better. So, everything Eddie’s saying is absolutely true and above-board, and there’s no reason for a weird squirmy guilty feeling to take up residence in his gut.

“Oh,” says Steve. “Sure, yeah, no problem.”

(ETA: yeah okay it's technically a series now)

[howlingday]

Ruby's Handlers Pt. 3

Pt. 1 / Pt. 2

Jaune: Honestly, it's- And this is gonna sound a lot cornier than I mean it to, but it's always fun with Ruby because she makes the best of a bad situation and the worst out of a good situation, so it's always exciting, and funny, and weird, and different.

Weiss: Aw~! You guys~!

Ruby: You're so sweet, Jaune~! Stop~!

Weiss: NOW KISS~.

--------------------------------------------------

Ruby: You missed it, but off-camera, I said I was gonna fuck Jaune.

Jaune: Wait, really? Did that happen? I don't remember that happening.

Ruby: Well, you never acknowledged that was the case.

Jaune: Ah, okay.

Ruby: ...Sooooooo~? I'm waiting!

Jaune: People are watching~!

Ruby: It's pretty rude to leave me hanging like this.

Jaune: Uh, I'll check with Weiss.

Ruby: Ugh... She said it's fine~!

Jaune: Yeah, sure. Speak on behalf of your wife, whom you both pledged each other to.

Ruby: I already talked to her! Why don't you believe me?!

Jaune: This feels like one of those things you tell her as you run out of the door.

Jaune: Like, "HeyWeissGonnaFuckJaune!" And she's like, "What?" And you go, "KAYBYE~!"

Ruby: ...I'll take that as a yes~!

--------------------------------------------------

Ruby: You're one of my best friends, Jaune.

Jaune: Well, thank you, Ruby. And I do really, really love you.

Ruby: I love you, too, Jaune! What the fuck?

Jaune: And that's not a joke for the show. You're a fucking amazing and wonderful person.

Ruby: Argh! What the fuck, Jaune?! Not while I'm playing Sonic!

--------------------------------------------------

Ruby: I... I used to be a fucking huntress, Jaune.

Jaune: How are you- How are you gonna beat this?

Ruby: I don- I DON'T KNOW, DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ASKING ME FOR?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT, DUDE?!

Jaune: Well, the question is, like, with every other possible thing we've been through-

Ruby: YEAH?!

Jaune: I don't know, Ruby. I'm... I'm starting to feel like this game isn't worth it anymore. Maybe this is just beyond us.

Ruby: (Choking on laughter) Fuckin...

Jaune: I know you're very distressed right now, because you wouldn't ever actually scream "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" under normal circumstances. You're probably very mad.

Ruby: (Weakly) Just fucking kill me...

--------------------------------------------------

Ruby: BULL SHIT! BULL SHIT! DON'T EVEN TELL ME THAT SHIT'S FOR REAL!

Jaune: (Whispers) Ren, keep this in.

Ruby: I AM SO FUCK- (Hits something) AGH!

Jaune: (Chuckling) Oh my god!

Ruby: DAMMIT!

Jaune: That's legit anger.

Ruby: AAARGH! (Smashes something)

Jaune: OH MY GOD! That was a lot of property damage!

Ruby: (Sobbing) Everything I know is a lie!

Jaune: (Laughing) Uh... Ruby? R-Ruby?

Ruby: WHAT?!

--------------------------------------------------

Ruby: Ooh... OOH, MY TESTICLES~!

Weiss: What is going on with you today?!

Ruby: I'unno... I'm hungry.

Weiss: Oh, is that what it is?

Ruby: I went to the gym today and I ate at a gross diner after.

Weiss: Why did you eat at the gross diner?

Ruby: What else was I gonna eat? Muck?

Weiss: Ruby, you know we have buckets of muck at the house!

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: You're not going to die for a very long time, Ruby.

Ruby: (Whines) My skin looks like bacon~!

Jaune: You look as beautiful as the day I met you, Ruby.

Ruby: Really~?

Jaune: Yeah! I mean, admittedly, you were already letting yourself go by that point.

Ruby: (Snickers)

Jaune: (Chuckling) I'm joking! I'm just kidding!

--------------------------------------------------

Ruby: Nobody thought anything of me. I remember I said, "I'm gonna be a huntress and I'm gonna make a million lien!" And this guy was like, "How are YOU gonna be a millionaire?"

Jaune: Who said that?

Ruby: And I was like, FUCK YOU!

Jaune: Who said that to you?

Ruby: It was just another kid at Signal.

--------------------------------------------------

Ruby: Is... Is the door closed?

Ruby: Fuck, I'm scared!

Jaune: (Pops head in) Hey, Ruby?

Ruby: (Cheers up) Yeah, what's up?!

Jaune: Not much. This thing is just gonna take longer than I thought.

Ruby: Okay, that's fine! I'll be just fine!

Jaune: Alrighty then! (Exits)

Ruby: What do I do?! What do I say?!

Ruby: Shit! Oh, I really fucked up!

Ruby: Uh... UUUH...

Ruby: JAUNE! JAAAUNE! JAAAAAAUNE!

Ruby: JAAAUNE! I'M FIGHTING A GIANT SPIDER THING!

Ruby: Augh, I fucked up...

Ruby: JAAAAAAAAAUNE!

Ruby: JAUNE, COME BACK! JAAAUNE!

Jaune: Hey, Ruby!

Ruby: Hey, Jaune, what's up~?

Jaune: (Chuckles)

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: You were sick?

Ruby: Yeah, like, three days ago.

Jaune: And you didn't mention this to me?!

Ruby: It's gone now. Besides, what would you have even done?

Jaune: I dunno. Made love to you?

Jaune: ...What were we talking about?

[sexhaver]

talking about protection racket made me think of zur's weirding. top 5 worst card designs of all time in my book, i love it. the effect it has on a game is fucking mind boggling, it gets more insane the more you think about it. i had never heard of it until i recently played a five player commander game and had to resolve three different wheel of fortune casts with zur's weirding on the field over the course of two hours. it slows down the game to an unreal degree because every draw is a pain to resolve AND because the game has to go on for so many more turns because nobody will ever draw into any of their outs. i cant recommend playing into it highly enough, an experience like nothing else, what an absolute marvel of gaming. one of the guys at that game has been on the verge of giving up magic after playing since zendikar block and that might have been his last game ever.

oh my fucking god i would absolutely not blame that guy you mentioned in the last sentence, this sounds like hell. and if nobody is holding enchantment removal then it just never leaves the table. jesus christ

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

Wilbert's Worst

Right, so I really was open to having my mind changed on The Worst One but nobody’s argument has budged me.

I was going to write a complete, balanced essay on The Worst W. Awdry Book, but I’m a) mired in the research phase (hey if anyone knows someone with an encyclopedic knowledge of Tom and Jerry hit me up, for real) and b) right now I wanna talk about the characters and their Beloved Dynamics instead. 

So I'm just gonna get this out of the way so I can post the poll and move on to answering fun asks and watching Tom and Jerry in peace. Behold: a salty and unbalanced review.

Wilbert’s biggest failure of a children’s storybook? 

Henry the Green Engine 

Ohhh… because of the, uh, ra —?

Because of the racism, yes!

Oh. You do know that since 1972 they’ve republished it without the n-slur? 

Good for them. Two things: 

1. I know it used to be there, I’m never able to read it without knowing it was there in the first edition.

2. I consistently try, when ranking the books, to consider them in the context in which they came out. Because of this, I don’t like using “things that happened later” (like a new character never being properly used again or whatever) against the book. This helps me evaluate the author’s successes and failures against what they were trying to achieve when they wrote it vs what I would most want (blorbo content). It helps me not bring to bear the whole weight of fanon and fandom on a text that should be able to stand or fall on its own. Tl;dr I try to read the books like a guy who picked it up in 1951, or whatever. 

And yeah, if I’d bought this when it came out it would have had the slur. I’m going to judge it accordingly. 

Look, racism is bad, no argument, but does that mean the book as a whole must be condemned? 

Yeah, I think the slur and the “aaaand suddenly, blackface! heeheehee” bullshit fuck over the entire book, game over. Go directly to jail, do not collect $200. 

The Railway Series is not a work of high art or deep thorny complex literature. The books are meant for children — small children, at that. Children small enough to get bedtime stories read to them. The main goal of each book (especially this early on — you do have to manage secondary priorities like “pleasing the long-time fanbase” the longer you go, but right now we’re only 6 books into the series) is to create a happy imaginary world to enhance childhoods and family lives… to impart to other parents and kids a similar cosy happiness to that the author and his own kids enjoyed when he was workshopping/drafting the stories for them. When we say “children’s book” we really do mean little’uns — these average 1.25 full-color illustrations per page!

And these books sold in large numbers. This means it’s a certainty that somewhere in 1951 there was a Black family who owned the whole series, who went out to the shops, whose kid was like “ooh! Henry gets a book, neat…,” who like everyone else enjoyed the wild ride of Henry’s inspection and coal and wreck and rebuild… only to get verbally spat on one page from the end. 

Real mood-killer there. Epic fail, as the cool kids used to say in my youth. 

All right, fine, cool kids never said that. Anyway, statistically speaking there was certainly even more than one family that got that experience. Not to mention the non-Black families who even in 1951 were like “... wtf? i’d smack my kid if they ever said a word like that around me, geez. no.” Just a lot of people who had the light the book was kindling in them snuffed out all at once. 

You can actually be totally racist and your book not commit creative suicide on the penultimate page! Awdry flubbed his job of 'bestselling books-for-six-year-olds' here. Creative failure. Unforced error. Automatic zero. 

But times were different then, you have to consider it in the context of the time. 

1951 U.K. was not the nadir of multiracial equality or Black power, but jfc. I can assure you that over 99% of children’s books published that year in the Anglosphere managed to not use the n-slur. 

All right, all right. That was bad. But this feels off-topic. If you had never known about what used to be “Henry’s Sneeze,” would you still rank the entire book as dead last in the Wilbert Awdry corpus? 

Not dead last, but it is not a strong book. “Coal” and “The Flying Kipper” are super-interesting as material for Henry, but after that the book kind of falls off a cliff; the intrigue drops dramatically. The railway incidents chosen to make stories of are all solid choices, but it was not only “Sneeze” where Awdry’s handling of the material feels clumsy and weird. (And I’m not even talking here of the “heehee blackface — ain’t i a stinker?” gag in “Sneeze.”) 

But… “The Flying Kipper”? C’mon. It’s a superb story and no book that contains it can be the absolute worst in the series. 

“TFK” remains easily the best single TVS episode ever – but a lot of that is down to Britt and David’s artistry and judgment. 

Don’t get me wrong, a full-on railway wreck makes interesting material. But I don’t think the book does nearly as much with it as it could (and I’m trying sooooo hard here to forget about the amazing TVS adaptation, as I think it REALLY shows Awdry up. Even so, the storytelling here is surprisingly tepid and low-stakes). I get that Awdry probably wanted to lean into the comic angle and not make Henry’s condition afterwards seem too grave, in order to ensure the material wasn’t too dark for his young audience? (*mutters* again, a level of tender consideration for his readers’ youth that went right out the window when it came to small Black kids, evidently coz he couldn’t imagine that they read) Understandable, laudable — but if he outright refuses* to make the wreck too dramatic or scary then, well, then the wreck isn’t real scary or dramatic. And it can’t save the rest of the book from its flaws. 

*For all I know it could have been the publishers who insisted that the wreck be made preschooler-safe, that’s possible (although it’s also consistent with Awdry’s brand of humor and his overall low degree of emotionalism in his writing). Either way, though, the end result book is what it is and it will be judged accordingly. 

In addition to not being as exciting as many remember... @trainsupessandhuntresses asked me once if I thought some of Awdry's stories were "mean-spirited." I had to assent vigorously. And a surprisingly high proportion of those "mean" moments are in Henry the Green Engine? For some reason? It’s not just the racism. Awdry was not in the game to give Henry a deserved happy ending, he’d wanted to kill him off (the fuck?) and when his publishers prevented him (I don’t say this often, especially since I love how salty the Awdrys get about their publishers, but this in case good job, publishers!!) he wrote “TFK” with the primary motivation of giving Henry a new engine basis. Any soft or hearty emotions we get out of the deal are a side-effect — the only emotion that was fueling Awdry as he wrote this was spite, spite and a weird resentment towards his poor, long-suffering, invaluable illustrator. (I don’t blame Awdry for being frustrated that the engine illustrations were continually inaccurate or confusing, but I do think it’s weird to read all this great Henry material knowing that it was written with such poor grace.) 

So his ‘happy Henry’ stuff feels perfunctory; his Percy interlude is just brutal (why did you have to drag Percy into Henry’s book purely to give him a fuck-up, a scolding, and a messy dunce cap?); Gordon’s savaging of Henry for being too happy after recovering from a near-death experience is such an incredibly low point for Gordon that it’s hard for me to accept it as canon (there’s being proud, boastful, and self-absorbed, and then there’s being the straight-up raccoon dumpster fire Gordon is in that scene). Oh, and I think “call the police [local constabulary, doesn’t bear firearms]” woulda probably a less reckless way of dealing with the rock-throwing youths than the sneeze of hot locomotive ashes, which of course the Fat Controller doesn’t like, that shit coulda been real dangerous! Mind, there are small rays of kindness throughout that do get me (the interactions between Henry and his crew feeling to me the least perfunctory and most heartfelt), but this is overall such a mean-spirited book. God. It starts off with such a gentle story (almost a non-story, if you’re in it purely for the “railway incidents” game and not character drama), but in short order the vibes just sorta suck. At least in other RWS books, when the vibes are off, they’re usually off near the beginning and then improve by the end. This one gets worse as it goes on. Oof. Don’t like that. 

Also, the last page is sooooo lame. I suspect the publisher strong-armed Awdry into writing most of it so that at least the slur wasn’t on the last page of the book... and if Awdry had any idea of how much he’d just empowered Henry and all his fans in this book he shouldn’t have found it hard to find 50 extra words to sum things up. As it was, he’s just filling space and running out the clock, lol. Lame wrap-up. Boring. As usual when it comes to every little thing about this book, Britt and David closed this up better (mind, their closer – “He had taught Gordon and silly boys a lesson, with a whistle and a sneeze” – also sucked. But at least it was blessedly short.)

Didn’t you once list HtGE on a list of your favorite Wilbert Awdry books? 

I did list it as one of the books that “at one time or another” have been my favorite in the series. Unfortunately in the case of HtGE, that was back when I really couldn’t read a story that I knew from the TVS without mentally substituting the adaptation into my brain as I read… largely overriding the actual text. Plus, everything I knew from TVS as a kid kind of automatically got a halo effect. Plus, I was super into Henry’s arc. 

The first time I read HtGE after calming down and actually reading all the books as books... massive disappointment. There is such a gap there between what I'd thought the book said (all our incredible fanon work overanalyzing and headcanoning Henry and building this beautiful fantasy arc about disability!) vs. what it actually said (limp and careless writing, mean vibes, airbrushed n-slur, bad aftertaste). 

I do think there is some stuff about the development of Awdry’s storytelling technique here that is interesting (again, Tom and Jerry superfans reading this, please shoot me a message!) but it doesn’t counteract everything else. 

At least we’re over the racism stuff? 

Nah, I’m not over it, actually. 

[defodisturbed]

Diet Culture - Poly!Recoms x PlusSize!reader

(A/N: inspired by the song Diet Culture by Brye! i love the song and can relate to it as a mid/plus-size person. i wrote this for my friend (you know who you are) and thought she would like it! i've always felt insecure and i'm sure many of you have as well. i hope this can bring you some joy or comfort even in the slightest. enjoy!)

And I know their worst fear is to look like me

And that fact makes me want to kill somebody.

To be a plus-sized person in the modern age has never been an easy feat. At least in the 16-18th century they thought it was very beautiful and desirable to have a body like mine. But now, as resources run dry and there's no space for everyone due to overpopulation, everyone hates fat people more than ever before. The body positivity movement was popular and utilized in the 21st century, but thats far, far behind us now. I feel crippling anxiety and shame every day for having to do the simplest things. Riding the train, feeling tired, and hell, even eating. My last thought before dying was that maybe in the next life I could be thinner.

Here I am now, staring at myself in the mirror. My skin is blue, I have stripes, and Lord, what a fatass I feel like. Why couldn't Parker or whoever's in charge of Project Phoenix just let me live in peace for once? My teammates are standing behind me as I examine my new teeth, tail, and my new skin. How big of a hospital gown did they have to make for me? I should apologize for this. I should apologize for having been brought back. Nobody wants a fat girl on their team. Nobody likes a fat girl. Nobody cares about fat girls. My thoughts run rampant through my head as I start to zone out.

"Hey, Y/N, you good? I know it's a little weird at first..." Lyle asks. I snap out of it and start to walk towards the door. I ask for someone to take me to my room, and so they escort me to my new place. It's very nice. They give me a lot of clothes and tell me to get comfortable because I'll be here awhile.

I get changed and explore my room. It's well lit, and when the lights are off, you can barely see anything. That's good for sleep. The bed is soft and it is comfortable.

When I get settled, the first number I call is my best friend. I tell her about how I just got resurrected and she asks how I feel.

"Fucking horrible. My body is still as fat if not fatter than it was before, my hair is messy, my skin is blue now, I have a weird tail and sharp teeth, and I just want to die again. I would like to die over and over again until they bring me back in at least a smaller body."

My friend tries to comfort me but her advice just doesn't do the trick this time. I tell her I gotta unpack and get situated. We say goodbye and I hang up.

Fuck, why did they have to do this to me?

---

I hear a knock at the door. I roll my eyes, making a game out of guessing who wants to talk to me now. I open the door, seeing my old friend, Alicia Zdinarsk. I invite her in and she offers to help me unpack. I accept her offer, and as we unpack, she tells me how weird it was for her to wake up blue as well. I wanted to shout IT'S NOT THE BLUE! IT'S NOT THE TAIL, NOT THE TEETH, NOTHING LIKE THAT! but I held back. I can't argue without crying anyway.

"Hey, you okay? You kind of zoned out in the wakeup room." Z says. I reply, "Yeah, it's just I really wish they revived me in a smaller body. I don't know how they expect a fat girl to-"

"No. You're not gonna call yourself fat as an insult. You're so awesome, and I cannot imagine being here again without you. Sure, people on Earth might've hated fat people, but we're not on Earth anymore. And last time I checked, we all love you just as you are. You don't need to change anything about you. We love you more than you could ever imagine, okay?" Z said. I was stunned. "Okay." I replied. I was always amazed by their collective love for me, but I never thought it was as deep as this. Nobody has ever told me they love me in the way Z just did, let alone a whole team of soldiers.

"Hello?? Y/N, Z??? You in there??? Mansk is making cocktails for us and I want us all to be there when we get drunk and grind-y tonight!" Lyle yelled through the door, banging on it as he did so. "Lyle, we're gonna head over in a second! For right now, keep it in your pants!" Z yelled back. I chuckled as we finished the last box of stuff. I could hear Lyle make a noise of disappointment outside, not wanting to wait any longer. I rolled my eyes and looked into Z's deeply, before pulling her in for a little kiss. She returned it, and we hugged until Lyle came banging on the door again.

"Can we at least watch a movie in the meantime??"

MWAH hope yall enjoyed!! @dyingofcookies thought you would like this :3 💋💋

[effervescentdragon]

For the prompt game:

'Dont i have the right to know? + pairing of your choice 👀

this is, subjectively, the worst thing i've ever written. <3

The news breaks in the paddock first.

Maybe it doesn't, though. Maybe it breaks in gossip magazines, or trash tabloids, or whatever else people read. Charles doesn't know because it's not for him to know. He has people to deal with those things. People to tell him what's being said, what's happening, what he needs to know and what he needs to pretend not to know.

"Did you see the news about Seb?" Carlos says, and Charles' heart speeds up because the Mercedes seat is open still, and - "- didn't think he was the type," Carlos continues, and Charles didn't hear what - "was gonna be Rosberg, or Jenson."

"What?" Charles says, because he didn't hear, but then Silvia storms into the room and goes straight for Charles.

"Did you know about this?" she asks, and he doesn't like the gleam in her eye.

"About what?" Charles repeats, pissed off now because nobody is telling him anything, except it's something about Seb, and he doesn't -

"The divorce," Silvia says, finally, with a little cruel twist to her mouth and Charles doesn't remember anything except stammering a weak and truthful "No" and then being pulled into a meeting on how to deal with the press and the questions and many things that Charles can't remember, because his brain is on a loop of divorce-divorce-Seb is getting a divorce.

-

Everybody is talking about it and Charles isn't thinking about it.

"Had no idea," he says to Alex. "We don't talk that much," he repeats to both Max and Lando. "I don't know why," he rolls his eyes at Carlos and George. "I'd tell you if I knew," he lies to Piere, and then goes to stand by himself on the truck before the race.

He waves at the fans and ignores everything until there's a bump at his hip. He looks down and it's Lewis, waving the same way Charles is, his eyes on the crowd.

"You didn't know," he says with a fake smile, and Charles forces himself not to react.

"No," is all Charles can say, shaking his head a little. "Haven't heard from him in a while."

Lewis hums. "Makes sense," he says, chuckling a little, and then Valtteri comes over an Charles wants to shake Lewis because, how the fuck does it make sense? It fucking doesn't, none of this makes sense and it's not - Charles doens't - how could -

The race, Charles thinks. The race first, everything else second. Racing first. Always.

Charles is a racing driver first. Always.

-

He misses the podium for a breath.

He doese everything right, answers the questions, gives feedback, it's all fine, it's all alright, he's handling it all well, another missed podium, another shit race, another question, another thing to deal with, it's fine, it's all good -

-he slams the door in Andrea's face.

"I'm fine!" he yells, and he'll apologize, he just needs a fucking moment alone.

The floor is hard under his thighs but he can't drag himself to the couch yet. It's fine. He taps on the phone screen next to him. Andrea must have given it to him. Charles doesn't remember.

He scrolls for too long and sends the message before he can calm down.

didnt i have the right to know??

He's not expecting a response. He isn't. He's trained himself out of that a long while ago.

The phone lights up.

I didn't know how to tell you.

No apology. No nothing. Charles scoffs, his hands shaking.

oh i dont know, maybe when u were fucking me in sicily last

or fucking me in monaco

or when i was fucking you in switserland

at any point then would be ok

There's sweat running down his face. His overalls are too heavy. He also needs to pee.

He leans back onto the door, staring at the screen. There's a lot of notifications, but it can all wait.

This can't.

I'm sorry about your race. You deserved a podium.

He stares at the screen incredulously.

fuck you seb

i deserved to know

He mutters a curse in Italian as he grabs for the water bottle and drinks some more. He doesn't have much more time.

He isn't expecting an answer. He isn't. There is no point expecting anything from Seb. Never was.

I know.

There's nothing left to say. Charles should get up and change and open the door for Andrea and Joris and whoever else is waiting for him. There's nothing else Seb will say.

Charles should get up and leave his phone.

Charles should block Sebastian Vettel's number and never talk to him again.

The phone lights up.

I can tell you in England? That's where I'm moving, for a while.

Charles should do a lot of things that he doesn't.

-

"-and get my phone," Charles shouts, halfway through the door.

Andrea sighs fondly and leans down, picking up Charles' phone from the floor.

It's unlocked. Andrea doesn't want to look, but his eyes are faster than his fingers and he catches the last two messages before the screen goes black.

i'll come between two headers

I am counting on it ;-)

[dragonflylady77]

Writing Patterns Game

Rules: share the first line of your last 10 published works or as many as you are able and see if there's any patterns.

I was tagged by @medusapelagia and @dame-zoom-a-lot

i don't put out until the third date 

“Jesus, Billy!”

ready or not

“...three, two, one, ready or not, here I come!”

the pull in his chest

Billy had always heard that people got their soulmark on their sixteenth birthday, but he wasn’t actually sure when his own had shown up. 

what's my name again?

“Hargrove?”

the bit that mattered

“Can you run that one past me again, dingus?” Robin couldn't believe the sob story Steve was telling her.

Steve's parents have the worst timing ever

They were focused on each other and on how good the sex felt.

Why fight a guy (when you can kiss him instead)?

"I've been waiting to meet this King Steve everyone has been telling me so much about."

Not-So-Blind Date

Billy closes the front door behind him with a relieved sigh.

The birthday wish 

Steve drove up to the quarry, slowing right down when he noticed there was already a car there. A very familiar blue car.

Mr Steve and the Monster Hunter

Steve is looking forward to the weekend after a long week teaching six-year-olds.

i got you a whole flower shop 

“Sorry, I’ll be right with you.”

i know how i feel about you now

“Billy, can you get the door? That should be the limo driver.”

I wanna do everything with you 

“Out of the way, pretty boy.”

Snowball fight at the old junkyard

“Come on, Billy! Get up!”

Nobody puts Billy in a corner 

Billy gritted his teeth. His evening was getting steadily worse.

Pizza my heart

Steve still can’t fucking believe he’s willingly standing in Hargrove’s dorm room.

stop flirting and get in the house 

“Am I dreaming or is that you Harrington?” Billy says, cigarette dangling from his lips as he takes off his leather jacket and throws it in the car through the open driver window.

definitely better than being dead 

When Billy comes to, everything hurts. He keeps his eyes closed, even though the space around him feels dark, and slowly takes a tally of where it hurts: hands, sides, chest, back, feet too...

Steve's Pick

“So you’ll do it?”

finding peace together

Then one day Steve shows up.

A frankly ill-timed visit 

Steve stretches as he wakes up, arm reaching beside him to find the bed is cold.

Never fall for a straight guy

Billy is browsing the movies in the Horror section at Family Video, trying to find something Max hasn’t seen yet, when he hears Harrington whisper from the counter.

We talked about this 

“Oh my god, pretty boy, just fucking do it already.”

Okay, so it's clear that I either start with a line of dialogue, or in the middle of whatever is happening. But then I was aware of that already. I may have read somewhere it's the best way to start a story and it worked for me.

I usually get an idea for the opening scene and go from there.

no pressure tag: @bigdumbbambieyes @camaro-and-smokes @robthegoodfellow @intothedysphoria @anincompletelist @billyharringson @spaceofentropy @thissortofsorcery @shieldofiron @lovebillyhargrove

[penny-the-pissed-poltergeist]

Jaunedice arc rewatch time time, Let's get this over with

.One of the worst parts about early Jaune is that he's too incompetent to any cool choreography in his fights

.They real did just give the characters video game health bars

.Oh no! Jaune lost to the guy who can casually bully people multiple school years above him, how surprising

.Ren, how the fuck would you know Nora's dream better than her... that makes no sense

.Really hope Ruby had something before or alongside cookies for lunch, that ain't good for you girl

.Velvet really needs to grow a fucking spine but that doesn't make everyone going "Oh he's so bad, it must be so hard for her" while doing nothing any less bad

... Why is Menagerie called that

.I think it would have been neat to make Oobleck a Faunus because his intro is him talking about Faunus lore and it would make him going asking Faunus in his class to publicly talk about their probably traumatic and sensitive experiences with discrimination a lot less invasive (It'd also be nice to a Faunus in power who isn't a traitor)

.The Faunus won the war but nobody ever fuckin acts like they did

.God I love Oobleck

.if Jaune told canon Pyrrha to kill someone, do you think she'd do it. She's 100% down to break Cardins legs

.Why is a Jaune quip the one suicide related thing in this series that actually lands for me?

.Did Cardin know they would be there or does he just like letting the wind in?

.You think a combat school would have good enough background checks to stop some guy from sneaking in but Jaune must have the best counterfeiting skills on remnant. even then you'd think his parents would at least be suspicious sense he had no proper combat training

."I can't do this on my own, what good am I?" You are already training as a part of school dude, stop being a stubborn loser

now on to Forever Fall....

.Ruby dropping the advice that destroys herself later (It's not always bad advice but god it became so toxic to herself)

.Cardin asking for some fuck bees, but not those bees

.Forever fall looking a bit cooler in the Black trailer but I still really like it here

."Professor Peach" Is expanded on in the books apparently but I'm point that out because there's a weapon's teacher called Herold Mulberry who's also only from the books so Ruby herself can't interact with him goddamn it.

.I will give Jaune one thing, He can SOMETIMES be funny, sometimes.

.Cardin's teammates haven't had a single line yet because they an 8th of a personalty each

.How is Nora slurping the sap that fast?

.Cardin calling Jaune "Jonny boy" gives me Maximilian Pegasus vibes

.How did Jaune's aura do that, we don't see Aura or the Aura amp do anything like that again

.Just send two more people away instead of letting them help you fight a giant ass bear because Yang and Blake totally can't deal with some grimm on their own

.Jaune has weirdly low endurance for the amount of aura he supposedly has

.People already say Jaune is "the real main character" but the problem of everyone but team RWBY feeling like the protag is something that crops up with both him and lots of other characters throughout the series.

.Remember kids if you want someone to stop bullying you, just save them from the fucking B E A R

.If someone is just watching the show without outside material, this is the first time anyone says the word semblance, no how short the episodes are doesn't negate how stupid this. Imagine if the first time hear the word mutation in an X-Man show was 8 episodes in, this is just brain meltingly dumb

.Pyrrha, all keeping that from Jaune is going to do is make him over estimate himself

.Oh yeah Jaune will never be a jerk again after this, he definitely learned his lesson. /S