#worst cook showdown

[worst-fictional-cook-showdown]

Final Round!

[gojonanami]

“ A HOUSE IS NOT A HOME ”

pairing: satoru gojo x reader

summary: you come home after a long day of work unable to find the person you call home anywhere — until you reach the bedroom.

warnings: 18+ suggestive, fluff, comfort, some angst, implications of the shinjuku showdown arc, implied gojo is no longer a sorcerer, gojo is your househusband, taking a bath together, taking care of him, copium really, satoru being a silly man

w/c: 1,184

“I’m home!”

You call into your home, the clatter of your keys and shoes as you shedded the things that chained you to the outside to submerge yourself in your oasis and into his arms. But as you got no reply, you stepped into your living room, scanning over the kitchen, to find no one.

Now where was your home?

“Satoru?” you called, heart skipping a slight beat, he was always waiting for you when you got home, usually on the couch or maybe in the kitchen the clank of the knife as he chopped away. Or even the many times that he was waiting by the door to only ambush you with kisses. But this time, nothing.

You rounded the corner to the hallway and peeked into your bedroom to find him asleep. You crept closer, careful not to wake him, and yup, he was fast asleep. His pretty snow white lashes resting against his cheeks, his chest slowly rising and falling as the soft sounds of his breaths parted his lovely lips.

You could watch him sleep for hours. You knew he never did enough of it before, and you’d argue he still didn’t do enough of it now. He always said he was fine sleeping 6 hours since it was twice as much as he usually got — and now he was working at home, so he could be ease.

But even so, you know he needed more.

As if he senses your thought, he stirs, starry blue eyes finding yours as he flutters sleep from his gaze, “sweetheart?” He’s murmuring, voice still beautifully raspy from sleep, “when did you get home?” He’s shifting to get up, but you use gentle hands to ease him back, “I haven’t started on dinner yet, sweets—“

“I got it, Toru,” you’re running your fingers through his hair, “just rest, baby,” and a protest is already on his lips, “let me guess what you did today — cleaned the house from roof to floor, stocked us on groceries, cooked lunch for me for the week, and probably a million other things,” you lean down to press a kiss to his forehead, “I think I can handle dinner for one night at least,”

He’s pouting now, “but you just got home from work, Princess, what kind of househusband would I be—“ and you can’t help but laugh, he loved his self appointed title of househusband, especially since it was one he had chosen for himself, and he took any opportunity — even now to call himself that.

“I think even the absolute best househusbands need a break, and should listen to their wives, since I’m the one you want to pamper so much,” and his lips party in protest, but you’re leaning down to kiss them and his pout away, “let me take care of you, Toru,”

He’s sighing, as he leans up to press his forehead to yours, “and does your offer include a bath, sweetheart?”

~~~

“Y’know sometimes I feel guilty,” and you pause in your massage of his head, fingers tangled in his hair, suds from the bath you’d drawn for him covering both of your bodies as he leans against you in your tub, back pressed flush to yours.

“Guilty about what?” you ask, holding your tongue on the million reasons why he shouldn’t.

“For so long, I was the strongest,” he gives a small chuckle, “and it was fun, sometimes. But it was mostly lonely,” he leans back to look up at you, a small grin on his lips, “except when I was with you,” your lips curl, “and now I get to be with you, and I get to stay home — and the worst thing I have to do are the dishes,” and you snort.

“I told you I’d do them if you hate them so much,”

But he’s shaking his head, “Sometimes I think trying to deal with our cast iron is worse than fighting Sukuna—“ and you roll your eyes, “but there’s always this urgency that I have to be doing more. Telling me to keep going, moving, fighting—“

“You’ve done enough, Toru, more than enough,” your fingers cup his cheek, “too much, honestly. It’s okay to rest now. You’ve done your part—“

“But—“

“Didn’t you or someone say jujutsu is like a marathon, a baton pass?” Your fingers run through his white locks, before you shift yourself to sit in his lap instead, “the marathon is over, racers have packed up and gone home, and the finish line has been crossed,” your fingers rest on the back of his neck, tracing his undercut, “and that’s because of you and all you did to fight and raise up the next generation,” you say softly, and he’s pressing his head to your forehead.

“Is it okay for me to rest now?” and you’re pulling him into your arms, hoping your touch conveys what your words can’t.

“Yes, it is, Satoru,” you’re pressing soft kisses to his neck, “you don’t need to be the strongest. You’re Satoru Gojo, and that’s all I want,” and he leans back, “you’re all I want,”

“Is that a proposal?” And you snort.

“We’re already married, weirdo—“ and his lips find yours, as they always did, his arms around your bare waist, as the water shifted and splashed, but you could barely feel anything except his lips against yours and the circle of his thumb against the small of your back.

He finally pulls away, a genuine smile on his lips, “And you married this weirdo,” and you chuckle, tracing his jaw with your finger, “you’re stuck with me for life,”

“Promise?” And he’s kissing you again in an instant, stealing your breath like he did the first time you met him all those years ago at jujutsu tech. And you knew you’d never love anyone else — not like him.

“Promise.”

Bonus:

Satoru’s arms wrap around you from behind as the two of you towel off after your bath, “what are we having for dinner?”

“Well someone insisted on me being in here with him, so I had to order out,” and he’s grinning, as he nuzzles your neck.

“Whoopsie, hehe,” and he’s humming, as he tugs your hips against his, the friction drawing a gasp from your lips, “can we have dessert first?”

“It is dessert. We’re having ice cream for dinner—“ and he’s kissing you again, but this time it’s languid and messy — all tongue and teeth, until he’s pulling away with a smirk at your breathless face.

“I want something sweeter, wife,” and you smile.

“Think you can finish before the delivery gets here?” And he’s already picking you up with ease in his arms, pinned under him in a moment, as his ocean blues flash with mischief from between your thighs.

“I can, but I don’t know if you’ll be done by then.” He says cheekily, as you only sigh.

If there was one thing that would always be true is that you would always be weak to Satoru Gojo — but not his abilities, but who he is.

Your husband.

“Let’s see, hm?”

a/n: I’m real upset about the leaks and this is my coping. I needed this.

taglist: @staryukis, @cloverlilies, @asgoodasdead666, @strawmariee, @chuuyasboots, @forest-fruits-jam, @catsgomurp, @rat-loves, @hanlay, @risuola, @spider-fan72, @sunamatic, @difficultdomains

[worst-mother-throwdown]

We all know horrible fictional fathers - Darth Vader, Firelord Ozai, Gendo Ikari, Gabriel Agreste, every beloved main character post timeskip..

But what about the moms?

Sure, bad mothers are rarer, but they are out there, AND THEY NEED TO BE REPRESENTED

And I'm here to do it

Rules under the cut

• Please, do not submit real people

• Please, do not spam the form

• Neither of the characters used as my pfp or background are included automatically

If you want them in the tournament, please submit them

• The character has to be bad as a mother, not necessarily as a person

• The character can be a bad mother figure without being a biological mother, though such characters will take a lower priority on the poll

• This tournament will discuss abuse, so please be mindful of that

I will put a trigger warning for discussion of abuse under every poll, just in case

• The form will be open until November 15th

• Have fun

Some other tournaments that have inspired this one:

@worst-fictional-cook-showdown @worstsexymantournament @worstvideogamesong-poll @every-character-ever-poll @overworkedblorbobattle @autistic-coded-tournament @cut-content-contest @controversial-blorbo-bracket @retirement-home-rumble @gentle-giant-swag

[ghost-cricket]

cooking up something about how Dark isnt as pure evil as ppl thing so heres a couple points i have

considering chosen's treatment by alan, it would make more sense for him to start the blackfire attacks out of anger. dark, being the younger of the two and being used to just being told what to do, went along. ← weaker point but still worth saying

we never see chosen trying to stop dark in the balckfire attacks. its not until the virus that he stepped in

speaking of the virus, chosen didnt know that dark was planning in massacring sticks. he just assumed this [the worst case scenario] and judged dark accordingly.

based on his body language, dark seemed to expect chosen to like or at least appreciate the virabot. when chosen first told them to not send the virabot, they looked genuinely confused

in ever fight between chosen and dark (except in ava 3, when dark was simply following their programming), chosen throws the first punch. ← also a bit of a weaker point bc chosen's trying to stop dark from whatever they're doing

dark did not know of the cg's existence until the showdown. he sent the virabot to destroy alan's computer, not hurt other sticks.

the one time he DOES try to hurt them, it's when they jump at him like "fight me". and like. you run up to a most likely mentally unstable person with a deadly weapon, tell them to fight you, and you expect to win???? you expect them to not hurt you??????

imo their deaths there were kinda on them but whatever

going back to the whole virabot thing, my guy was just trying to get closure for him and chosen????? like. him disintegrating the globe means world destruction but that could also mean destruction of the web

all of dark's portals were to websites which abence would affect humans, not sticks. never once did dark actually launch an attack on the outernet. he and chosen hurt sticks, yes, but they were also website sticks

yeah uhhhhh thats it for now :P

[bad-wingsoffire-ideas]

Ok to the anon who wanted to make the worst possible idea, uhhhh here’s mine:

So Moonwatcher spends the entirety of arc 2 defending Darkstalker even though he does the worst possible stuff RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. It’s not like in the books where he at least tries to hide it, Darkstalker cooks Winter’s corpse at some point and eats it, claiming he was just hungry, and Moonwatcher just says “ermmm well actually he’s justified and he technically did not hurt him.” And trust me she says it in the most obnoxious voice too.

And yes, Moonwatcher isn’t under any spell. It’s the same scene in the book (well except Winter’s dead but that’s never brought up aside from like one line in the epilogue where he doesn’t even get a memorial.) And Qibli calls her a “strong independent woman” and they start making out.

Eventually Fathom (who was frozen in solid ice somehow) comes back to life and immediately apologizes to Darkstalker for “not seeing his side of the story” and then THEY start making out. However this is somehow the tipping point for Moonwatcher because she’s homophobic. This also makes Qibli upset because he’s gay. They have a falling out and get divorced and the whole book just becomes this soap opera that completely derails the original plot and we barely get any scenes of Darkstalker and Fathom’s new relationship (because censorship.) This makes the entire middle point to the final battle just complete filler that lasts 500 pages.

Turtle is completely ignored and dies in the most horrific way possible for absolutely no reason other than shock value. It doesn’t have any impact on the story and it’s played as a joke for the rest of the book.

Eventually Wren and Sky show up out of completely nowhere, fix Moonwatcher’s and Qibli’s relationship, and have a final showdown with Darkstalker and Fathom that completely rips of How to Train Your Dragon. The story forgets how Darkstalker made himself immortal so Wren easily kills him and becomes the queen of all dragons and she confesses her love for Sky, making him the king of dragons.

However, in the epilogue, Fathom is seen carrying something as he snuggles up to Darkstalker’s corpse. As he falls asleep, he reveals what he’s holding.

It’s Darkstalker’s egg.

🐉

[glitchy-npc]

The Chicken Whisperer

Another far sillier thing for the gift exchange for @silvery-bluish.

Fallen Hero - Arsinoe/Ricardo if you squint - couldn't even begin to categorize this one kdfjskl.

565 words.

Arsinoe Becerra cannot talk to chickens. 

This is not a particularly unusual failing, after all, most people can't, but telepathy has always been a form of communication that doesn’t discriminate between the minds it interacts with, human or not. 

The minds of animals don’t utilize verbiage that telepathy can easily translate, no matter how many languages Arsinoe was implanted with, they’re no help to them now. Animal minds only give off impressions, no clear lines of thought, just a rapid fire barrage of emotions and half formed decisions to which this particular hen’s seems to be obstinate immobility. 

Arsinoe sighs, regretting not speaking up when they had the chance to choose which chores around Elena's ranch needed doing. How could they have known? They were never trained for anything like this. Egg gathering had seemed like a simple task at first but that was before they were staring down a stubborn hen, at a standstill, not unlike two gunslingers in a western movie, each waiting for the other to make the first move. 

I’m not going to hurt you. Arsinoe tries to impart that impression into the chicken’s mind but they have no way of knowing if it takes. The hen simply blinks at them. 

I just need a few eggs, then I will leave you alone. The hen ruffles its feathers making itself seem bigger than it is and Arsinoe doesn’t need to read minds to tell that it would prefer to be left alone now rather than later.

They crouch down, trying to present themself as unintimidating as possible. Being intimidating isn’t something they usually have to worry about but chickens are small and, apparently, picky about their company. They reach out, slow and careful.

I’m not going to hurt you.

The hen, however, has other ideas and stabs its beak forcefully at the intruding limb. It's a lucky hit, striking sharply against the knuckle of Arsinoe’s index finger.

“Ow, you little-” Arsinoe stands back up, rubbing the fresh red mark on their hand. It's far from the worst injury they’ve ever had, but it still smarts. If a chicken can look smug, this one certainly does. 

A warm hand comes down on their shoulder, making them jump.

“Need a hand?” Ricardo offers. Arsinoe had been so focused on the hen they hadn’t even heard his footsteps approaching, Ricardo could be surprisingly sneaky when he wants to be. Something to remember. 

“Yeah, I guess so.” It never feels good to admit defeat but in this they know they are woefully underskilled. 

“It helps if you talk to them.” Ricardo takes the basket from Arsinoe’s hands, crouching in front of the hen who regards him with a tilt of its head. 

“I tried…sort of.” They’re not sure if they want to admit to having tried to telepathically manipulate a chicken.

Whatever Ricardo suspects happened during their showdown he only chuckles, murmuring softly in Spanish as he retrieves the eggs with the deft ease that comes from years of practice. 

And popularity. Everyone likes Ricardo, even chickens. 

Show off.

“Come on,” Ricardo straightens, securing his prize under one arm while wrapping the other around Arsinoe’s shoulders.“Mama wants us to help cook.”

“That I can do.” Arsinoe replies, trying not to feel flustered by the sudden closeness. 

They amble together towards the ranch house, happy to leave the chicken coop and its prickly residents behind.

[sworcerie]

evil chores showdown

[rbs appreciated because i'm extremely curious!]

[alphabetbracket]

WELCOME TUMBLR TO THE ALPHABET BRACKET

In which I am doing a bracket competition to determine what the ultimate letter is because everyone else was holding bracket competitions and I want to too

Inspired by blogs like @adorable-ones-tournament @catgirlgames @bestfictionaldivorce @best-green-character @redandbluebracket @riordanversecharactertournament @fictional-father-figure-comp @battleofthepurplebitches @mermaidbracket @purplegreenbracket @the-ghost-games @clash-of-the-wizards @nichesexymanbloodbath @tentacletournament @internetsongshowdown @the-coolest-demon-bracket @the-nobody-tournament @worst-fictional-cook-showdown @topdisease @foundfamilyarena and so many more!!

This is a bracket with 32 competitions, including all 26 letters of the alphabet plus 3, $, @, *, ;, and ~ because I wanted to get to an even 32, and also I think it would be really funny if something that wasn't even a letter won the letter competition, below are the lineups of the polls and will be updated as winners move on! First and last round of polls will last a week and all other polls will last a day, this is for fun and any extreme hate in the comments/tags will not be tolerated but yeah! I will accept propaganda I am tagged in or is submitted to the blog via submitted posts or asks, but other than that, have fun!

Round 1:

Y vs $

O vs S

3 vs C

R vs E

@ vs ~

V vs U

A vs J

* vs M

K vs Q

W vs T

F vs X

N vs I

G vs B

P vs D

Z vs ;

L vs H

[finnicart]

wanted to draw something for the final round of @worst-fictional-cook-showdown because palutena Deserves her time in the spotlight as the worst cook ever. literally endangering an entire kingdom with the equivalent of too much sentient vanilla extract

and also, kid icarus uprising’s 11th anniversary is tomorrow!! why not celebrate by giving the goddess your vote 💛💛💛

[worst-room-tournament]

Have you ever seen the room of a fictional character and thought:

Damn, you live like this?

Then, this is a tournament for you! This is contest to figure out the worst fictional room/living space.

What qualifies as bad room?

Almost anything! Too empty, too cluttered, looks like a garage - all will compete!

EDIT: The form is now closed

@character-of-all-time @ultimate-poll-tournament @bestcharacterwithfirepowers @ultimate-divorce-tournament @worst-fictional-cook-showdown @autismswagsummit @aroaceswagcompetition @epicdivorcemantournament @worlds-worst-dad-competition @bluehairpronounsbracket @best-bot-tournament-2023 @disabilityshowdown

[bisexual-protagonist-competiton]

Hiyo! I haven't seen this as a comp yet and i have adhd so here we are

RULES:

- Only submit the same character once

- Multiple submissions with different characters are okay!

- Character must be fictional, a significant character in their media, AND a protagonist (it's in the name!)

- If the character is not canonically bisexual, they can be headcanoned as such by a large proportion of their fandom (for example, Percy Jackson)

- Luz Noceda from TOH is automatically added because why not (she will also probably be submitted anyways so whatever)

- Matchups will be posted as soon as I have enough submissions and will include the most submitted (at least 64, possibly more) characters

- Please yell at me if i include a character that is not bi, i'm not going to be in all of the fandoms so i'll be basing this off google and tumblr searches

- Submissions close March 12 and polls will start going up shortly after!

thank you!

uh i think i'm supposed to tag some other comps to find this? anyway inspired by @worst-fictional-cook-showdown @fictional-musician-competition @best-toh-charater-tournament @best-fictional-cat @besttship ty :) (sorry for bugging you lol)

[worst-fictional-cook-showdown]

Round 1

[bestclone-tournament]

Welcome people! As a biotech student (still) obsessed with fandom, I decided to combine my two favorite things: blorbos and unethical science practices!

That’s why I am starting...

THE BEST CLONE TOURNAMENT!

Submit your favorite blorbos that happen to be clones and watch them fight to death! You can submit by following the following link:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1eZqZDaLJkYAdRbEKE2-ZGL4sUhzqDceBTGLJ-ogXMak/edit

SUBMISSION RULES:

1. Fictional characters only, obviously. However, Dolly the Sheep (the first clone of a mammal to have survived) will automatically be in the tournament. If any of you can think of any irl famous cloned animals and want to submit them, you’re more than welcome to do so.

2. I will allow the submission process to last about 1 week.

3. If the fact that the character is a clone is a crucial point in the media the character is in, and the reveal could be considered a spoiler, please inform me in the submission form so i can tag accordingly.

I don’t know how many characters will end up in the tournament. that depends on the number of submissions. The tournament may take a while to start, because I am busy with my other ongoing tournament @aminoacid-swag-tournament (which you are more than welcome to check out) as well as just regular life. Please be patient.

While cloning is usually associated with science, if you can think of clones made using magic or some other medium, you’re more free to submit them! Let’s see how many ways people have figured out to conduct man-made horrors beyond their comprehensions!

Also, if there’s a piece of media with many clones (like Star Wars), I will handle it this way: If I only get a few submissions for a few characters, I don’t mind putting the individual characters in the tournament. however, if I get multiple submissions for multiple characters, I will most probably consider having all of them as a group (for example ‘The Clone Army from Star Wars’).

The tags I will be using are:

#bestclone tournament for the polls

#bestclone admin for any posts related to the tournament

#bestclone ask for any asks you guys send me

#bestclone propaganda for any propaganda you send me, in any form

Obviously, any hateful comments, rebloggs, asks or anything will be deleted. We may be endorsing morally ambiguous biological techniques, but online hate is where we cross the line! /s

Have fun!

I am tagging for more visibility: @mad-scientist-showdown, @besttship, @weirdgirlshowdown, @worst-fictional-cook-showdown, @may-the-best-penguin-win, @bisexual-monarch-tournament.

[serenastark-writes]

RP prompt ideas

Lighthearted Prompts ✨

Game Night Gone Wrong: The Avengers are playing a board game, but things spiral out of control as alliances form, cheating accusations fly, and powers accidentally come into play.

Roommate Disputes: Your characters are sharing a living space in Avengers Tower. Who’s stealing food from the fridge, and why is someone hoarding all the blankets?

Costume Party Confusion: The team is invited to a costume party, but there’s a mix-up. Someone thinks it's a formal gala, while another arrives in a ridiculous outfit.

Training Mishap: During a friendly sparring session, someone accidentally destroys a piece of Stark tech. How do they explain it to Tony—or worse, Serena?

Pet Chaos: A stray alien creature is accidentally brought back to the Tower after a mission. Now everyone has to deal with the chaos it causes.

Emotional Prompts ❤️‍🩹

Lost in Time: One of the characters is pulled into the past or future, and the others must find a way to bring them back.

Haunted Memories: A character's past comes back to haunt them, leading to an emotional breakdown in front of their team. Who steps up to support them?

Goodbye, For Now: A character leaves the team for a personal mission. How do their friends react, and what does the farewell look like?

Sibling Dynamics: Explore the bond between siblings (e.g., Serena and Morgan Stark, Wanda and Pietro) during a personal or high-stakes moment.

Betrayal or Misunderstanding: A character is accused of betraying the team due to misinterpreted actions. Can trust be rebuilt?

Action-Packed Prompts ⚔️

Undercover Mission: The team has to infiltrate a HYDRA base disguised as civilians. Chaos ensues as someone blows their cover.

Civil War 2.0: A disagreement among the team escalates into a full-on fight, splitting everyone into factions.

Body Swap: Two characters accidentally swap bodies due to a magical mishap. How do they navigate each other’s powers and lives? And how do they get back to who they were?

Alien Invasion: An alien fleet attacks Earth, but the Avengers are scattered. How do they regroup and fight back?

Rogue AI: C.A.R.L.O.S. or another AI turns rogue, taking control of Stark tech. The team must outsmart the system to regain control.

Humorous Prompts 🎊

Drunk Shenanigans: After a celebration, a few team members get tipsy. Who sings karaoke, and who decides it’s a good idea to try on the Iron Man suit?

Cooking Disaster: The team decides to cook a meal together without using powers. It doesn’t go well.

Prank War: A prank war breaks out in the Tower. Who are the main instigators, and who ends up getting the worst of it?

Dating Advice: One character seeks romantic advice from the team. Everyone has vastly different (and unhelpful) suggestions.

Babysitting Duty: The Avengers have to babysit Morgan Stark or another kid. How do they handle it when the child starts causing mischief?

Dark/Serious Prompts 🎥

Darkhold Temptation: A character finds the Darkhold and starts using it, despite warnings. How does the team react, and can they save them?

Captured by HYDRA: A team member is taken hostage by HYDRA. The others must stage a rescue while dealing with emotional tension.

Apocalypse Scenario: The multiverse is collapsing. How does the team handle the end of everything—and the possibility of never seeing each other again?

Superhero Gone Rogue: One of the team members turns against the group due to external manipulation or personal motives.

Final Battle: The ultimate showdown against a powerful villain leaves some of the team injured, missing, or worse. How do they cope?

Crossover Prompts ✉️

Mutants Join the Fight: The X-Men arrive to assist the Avengers in a battle, but clashing egos and tactics cause tension.

Intergalactic Alliance: Thor calls in the Guardians of the Galaxy for help. How do the earthbound heroes interact with their cosmic counterparts?

Strange Alliances: The Avengers team up with villains like Magneto to fight a greater evil. Can they truly trust their temporary allies?

Disneyland Adventure: The team takes a rare day off to visit Disneyland but ends up dealing with a supervillain attack.

Multiverse Madness: Characters from different Marvel universes meet—how do they react to their alternate selves?

[octo-showdown]

Welcome to the Octopus of All Time Showdown!! Where octopus characters fight and see who the greatest octopus of all time is!!

Here are some general rules!

• Characters can either be octopi or octopus-adjacent

• No other cephalopods [no squids, cuttlefish, etc. sorry]

• Real species of octopus can be submitted! If you do, please submit it with the taxonomic name [regular name can be submitted too, if you want]

• Nothing NSFW, please and thank you. Mod is a minor.

• Different characters from the same media are allowed! [ex. Shiver and Agent 8 from Splatoon are both different characters from Splatoon, but both will be accepted as contestants. ]

• You can't submit the same character twice, but you're allowed to submit multiple different characters if you want!

• Submissions for characters are through asks or messages!

• Poll and showdown propaganda is highly encouraged :]

• NO BOTTING.

(mod uses he/him and his name is kaz [you can call me hugh or nagisa too])

submissions are currently open, and official dates for when the showdown will start and submissions close will be announced when everything is ready! thank you!

here are the obligatory @'s to bring more people

@themiiofalltime @catboy-showdown @divorced-tournament @17-million-years-of-pining-poll @bestpokemonbattletheme @ultimategirlbosstournament @worst-fictional-cook-showdown @sonic-transmasc-swag-tourney @piratepairoff @johnbattle @character-of-all-time @pkmn-go-to-the-polls