#worked til 10 last night . just to be up at 5 this morning to come back . | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

makemeanangelpure · 7 months ago

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April 10, 2024- 111.6

I can get back down to 108 by Friday morning by just doing what I do, and keeping to the liquid fast. I tried cooking for myself when Soul left. Nothinh astounding I guess, just an egg sandwich that’s special because it’s what momma used to make me when I was little and her and papa were still together… when they seemed alright at least… but it’s a comfort I guess and ever since I made it for Soul, I’ve been having one sometimes. It’s not the same though. I think eating it just makes me sad. I haven’t seen her in so long. But like momma I’ll make them for him, because he really likes them. Soup is pretty adamant about anything I cook and lately has had such a love for cream cheese chicken that he told me he dreamt about it the other night. Haha. Next time I make that I intend have half of one, take a few bites and then put it in the fridge. Then the time after that not have any do he can work out all 4, as is or I can put a sliced one on a sandwhich like he was drooling about. He’s so cute. I love feeding him after a hard day of missions and/or school activities. So I tried to eat the sandwich earlier… and I just felt… too full and gross… I drank water to try and help the nausea but I wound up getting sick… so I won’t make one for me in awhile… it’s really greasy anyway… I should be eating things more clean like fruit and vegetables and maybe I’ll boil my eggs… cause protein will help will my muscle build and my body will burn more naturally that way during the day so I’ll be super healthy! ^^

Soul is going to get home pretty late after piano practice and basketball with Kid and Blackstar, so he’ll bring something to eat home. Sometimes he’ll eat half with them and finish it home later with me. Our meal times together are usual so it makes me happy hes even subconsciously out of his way to have dinner time with me. Getting sick like that stole my energy, and I want to read some on my rest day today, so I’m having an energy drink. I used to never drink them, but soul has the Reign sometimes and I found sometimes when I’ve uo too late studying, it’s just what I need for a little kick here and there. I’ll get a case maybe when we go grocery shopping Sunday, among more necessary things like toilet paper and tooth paste. I got a part time job to help with living. You know grants can’t pay for everything forever. I’m really happy for soul too, he picked up a few shifts at a record shop we live pretty close too, just a 5 minute drive on his motorcycle, so I don’t have to worry about him being too late when he’s sluggish in moving around, doesn’t have to be there til 11 anyway. I tried so hard to find a bookstore to work at… but nothing was available unfortunately, so I’m making do with retail, working register or organizing shelves. They sell a lot of older items and the people that come in a pretty nice. Tomorrow I get to open the store which is nice. First time doing that so I’m a little nervous. My manager said if I’m still doing well in a month or two, he’s going to move me to the back to help with truck. It would be 7-3 pm shifts. Lots of lifting, tagging merchandise and stacking and the last 3 hours I could be called to go help with register but it would be fun to be promoted and get to basically workout with weights instead of the more cardio base that’s happening now. So yay! I just have to keep it up to get to that point. Which reminds me soul’s birthday is a month and half away now. He’ll be 17 which is amazing for him, I know he’s so excited to be 18, but still just enjoying the moment… I guess he’s taught me that it’s okay to look forward to something but not let it overwhelm you… just enjoy the the ride. The month after I’ll be 16! I know sweet 16 is a big thing, but I really prefer putting together surprises for other people. I almost feel bad sometimes when so much is attention is on me. It will be fun though, I’d really love to just cook everyone something and play games, or go out for sushi and go to an arcade… OR a picnic and swimming party since it’ll be summer time. The hassle of swimsuits though… I mean I don’t mind it… I love swimming and I’ve really missed it… it just going to be kind of embarrassing. I don’t know. The last thing I want to hear is how small my chest is… or I don’t fit a swimsuit right or ‘ of course I’m wearing a one piece.’ I kind of feel like the odd one out. Tsubaki, Liz and Patty and Blaire… they have beautiful womanly bodies… and I’m just different. My momma had a petite frame too- I’m not mad at her for the body she gave me… I can go down a rabbit hole about papa not being satisfied with momma and that’s why he treated… all the women I see him with definitely look a certain way. Whatever. If we swim for my birthday… I might even recommend it and I’m sure the others would bounce on the idea… beach volleyball… the boys would love. Liz would drag me and tsubaki to go tan a little while, so warm in the sun, and Patty and kid could make amazing sand castles and giraffes. Haha. Soul would be happy about popsicles. Creamsicle sounds so good!

I’m blabbering so much but I haven’t really said everything out loud before… or written it down really I just think about everything.

So swimming in two months and half potentially, well actually it’s for sure going to happen that sounds so fun. Liz will love if I ask her to help me find a nice swimsuit, and be totally positive about me getting a two piece. I think I will… maybe it can be light blue or white? My body and face is still really soft. I guess you could call it baby fat, and being more active lately, being more carful about what I eat, I can kind of see a bit of toned stomach action happening. I’m excited for what I can achieve in two months and even the one you know? Getting rid of baby fat and butterflying cacooning into my more young adult body will be good. I’m always going to be small and I’m trying to work on being okay with that, so I just have to make myself as proud as possible of the way I look. I’m going to look strong and healthy, so what if I don’t have the greatest curves, I’ll have skinny curves… angles and definition that I earned by working so hard. I’m almost 5’3 instead of 5’0 now from when we first moved in together and I was 14 so my baby weight is evening out and gosh soul is growing too. He already called me shorty but sometimes he looks down at me in such this smug way, like he’s so cool for being taller. He’s almost 5’7 now. I assume he’ll stop growing at 5’9 since I think Wes is around there or 5’10. Soul has always looked really handsome and like me, he’s growing into a more young adult version of himself, angels of his facial features a little more sharper, shadowed by a vague sleepiness like always, more movement to the way his scar runs along his chest in abdomen from natural definition. He’s the type of person to not workout barely at all, and look like he must go 3 days a week and eat like a clean freak, but nope, typical boy like Blackstar to be able to hork down unhealthy food and still look like he puts the work in. Ah being young with a great metabolism. Haha.

Oh what else…?

Oh yeah, last I made an entree, I was saying how I was nervous to get my hair cut, to repair damage and try something new for the warmer weather. Liz got highlights in her hair too, and even trimmed her front hair pieces ( evenly of course) to frame her face; it looks so pretty she’s like one of those victorious secret models. Tsubaki didn’t cut her hair, just a basic trim. She so pretty all the time, and Patty did a more blunt look with her bangs. My hair is shoulder length now, so we took 5 inches of dead hair off. It’s a big change. I can’t really wear my hair in pigtails right now in my normal mid spot because the hair at the nape of my neck is just barely too short to stay pulled up. I can do really tiny low pigtails but it’s really not helping with my “ growing up glow up” as the Thompson put it. I’ve been wearing it in half up pigtails when we’ve gone on missions so my hair isn’t swinging around in my face, like I did for the dance two years ago. But my hair will be around my upper arms in October, and then I’ll fully put my hair up again, and it won’t matter if it’s a more girlish hairstyle, I’ll be so confidently me by then it won’t even matter and I can pull off anything. Since I’ve lost some baby weight, I’ve noticed Soul doesn’t really knock at me having ‘ fat ankles ‘ anymore like he used to joke. Maybe he realized it hurt my feelings or i actually did have bigger legs and don’t anymore… if so then goodbye preteen fat. He’s been sweet too, picking me up from the couch to carry me to bed and either he’s just proud of how strong he is, but doesn’t brag because that wouldn’t be cool, or I’m actually fun to pick up because… like me lifting him in scythe form, it’s not a challenge? Rather than poking fun at me in what feels like an almost mean, taunting way, he’s been calling me ‘ itty bitty’ and ‘ little maka’ when he’s done his proud looking down at me..: or we’re just walking around town and sat for some deathbucks and he just kinda set his hand over mine, emphasizing how he could hide my fingers completely with his, sounding like he was marveling instead of mocking me when he said, “ you’re so tiny.” His comments are sounding more like compliments than half annoyed jabs, and I guess it’s him just becoming g more mature? Either way, it’s made me feel really nice and even a little more proud of my petite stature. If my partner thinks it’s cute rather than unattractive and off putting, then why should I feel so bad? He hasn’t said anything about my chest in awhile… maybe because I’m not so flat chested anymore? I did go from an A32 to a B32, and I think honestly where my chest size will be sitting at even when I’m momma’s age. Maybe he’s noticed I’ve grown a little… maybe he’s too embarrassed to say anything? Maybe it wouldn’t be cool to point out my chest or body changing at all because he doesn’t want to get slapped with a book? I’m overthinking everything… but doesn’t it feel kind of nice imagining he’s been able to see me grow and evolve some the same way I’ve seen him. I just texted him to tell him I’m proud of him. I know how much it bothers him his parents not approving of his work and how he’s going his own way about things apart from his family’s expectations. We were hugging a few months back after a slight argument I don’t even really remember what it was about but we were hugging about frogging eachother afterwards and I teared up telling him how proud I was of him if he ever felt like no one saw how hard he was working, I did. I feel his soul swell with emotion, and he’d tighten his hold on me, uttering a cool thank you, though I’d heard the way his breath shook like he was soft. I keep thinking about that day a lot, so I hope even when I don’t say it, he knows how proud I am of him. I know he’s proud of me too, especially lately trying to be nicer to papa, comforting me too when plans with him don’t really work out. I cried on his chest a few weeks ago when I made plans with papa and he forgot… too drunk when he’d been talking to me I guess to remember because when I went where we supposed to meet

#ed vent

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charlesandmiranda · 9 months ago

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2/4 & 2/5 in Tsukiji

After staying up so late the night before (I don't think I mentioned it in the last post but we didn't leave the Neoncity show til after 3 AM, well after the last train had run for the night; and we got back to our airbnb at around 4am), Charles and I definitely needed a rest, so we slept in fairly late - til about 10 am. It's taken us a while to really adjust to the jet lag this trip and many mornings we've been waking up between 4 and 6 am, so 10 felt positively luxurious for us.

Here's a peek at our Airbnb, a small apartment building that seems like it's been converted to use as a guest house for travelers like us.

After we kind of got up and moving, we headed out to Tsukiji Market, which was kind of the main draw for us coming to stay here at all. We've been in the past, especially in the summer, and it's packed with great, fresh food, especially fish. The market has a really long and interesting history, and is where some of the most expensive fish in the world have been auctioned off for sale, and until a few years ago was the largest fish wholesale market in the world. However, they recently shut down the wholesale market and auctions at Tsukiji and moved them elsewhere, leaving just the retail shops and restaurants themselves.

Our experience visiting in the past taught us that, given that many of the shops are selling super fresh fish from that day's catch, they open pretty early and a lot of places are closed for the day by 1 or 2 PM.. However, what we weren't expecting is that many of the shops in Tsukiji just aren't open on Sundays. So between getting up late and it being a Sunday, we missed some of the shops we wanted to visit on day one in Tsukiji. We walked around for a while and definitely still had some great food and drinks, we decided to mostly have a chill, low-key day in for Saturday afternoon.

One place we discovered on Sunday, especially, is a shop that only opened a few years ago; it's a little bar in between the main streets of the market, where you can insert yen coins into machines holding whisky, shochu or sake, as well as buy a soda/juice mixer and kind of make your own vending machine drink. There's a small amount of seating, and we chatted with some of the bartenders there as well as the owner, all of whom shared local spots to eat and drink during our stay (which we....didn't get around to, but we may still try! There's still time! haha)

One thing that is maybe noteworthy, in that maybe it'll give y'all a laugh? but we absolutely failed at using a Japanese washing machine -- our Airbnb had one in our room but it like....never seemed to agitate the clothing properly, also never drained the water? I genuinely can't tell what we did wrong, but we ended up having to hang dry all the clothes we tried to wash off of a drying rack (that normally would sit outside on the apartment balcony -- it was soooooo cold, we were worried the clothes would never dry!) or in some cases, in the shower, and cranked the heat up in our apartment to try and like....ambient dry everything. And it mostly worked! Some of our clothes didn't get super clean but at least we didn't have to travel with a bunch of soaking wet laundry haha.

(the offending washing machine in question)

Monday we had to check out of our Tsukiji airbnb by 11 AM, so we got up early and hit the market around 8:30. Much more stuff was open, so we got to browse a good bit. Charles checked out some knives and cutlery, and I got to grab some sashimi from a shop we ate at on our last trip in 2019 -- I liked it so much, I tried to recreate some of their logo and stuff in Animal Crossing! The shop is called Maguro Kuro Tsukiji, and they specialize in tuna (maguro). They were quite busy so I didn't get to grab anything til last call. I showed one of the staff members the animal crossing designs I'd made and told them I'd been looking forward to coming back for a long time, and they were super tickled by it, and we all took a photo together haha.

Before long it was time to start moving on to our next stop, which was Nara, Japan! Look forward to it! Here's a Tsukiji Market photo dump (this probably isn't even all of it, there was just too much to see! I feel like that's the theme of every place we've visited, there's just too much to see and do at any one place for sure).

In these photos we had: a fried sardine cutlet, grilled egg sandwich and beef and egg bao bun, sea urchin (always incredible, it's like warm butter), a coffee shop where John Lennon once visited, oysters and hot whisky, and the big ticket item: wagyu. Charles had been looking forward to it since our last trip in 2019; we saw it here and decided to wait until our honeymoon, which we did not know would take several years. It's expensive, but the quality is incredible.

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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year ago

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and some looks at some Documents:

introducing "get happy" as the song jane is diegetically singing at the start of the show....seeming enough confirmation that "pop" falbury takes the place of the grand/parently housekeeper of the film, who mentions in some overlapped dialogue that an aunt was a performer who used to teach the falbury sisters singing & dancing....now presumably a literal grand/parent, who may be attributing their preexisting performance skills, despite having lived on a farm, as from "[like?] your mama"....maybe an "I always [...] song coming [on]" there too

the binder on the table is open to a cast list ft. headshots & a summer stock title/cover sheet, and my efforts at transcribing the pages of the binder on the podium are as follows

left sheet:

6.25 Donna

Music ... We would like to add drums on the 3rd count of 8 on Corbin's NY solo - HAPPY DAYS/I WANT TO BE....

Sound ... We will figure out the timing of the raking SFX at top of show ... pg 1

Music ... We need to update music that there are no words "Shall we? Let's" - GET HAPPY OPENING ... pg 1

Dani ... Need to have eyes up on "We're going to the promised land" GET HAPPY OPENING ... pg 1

Sound ... Creaky door opening SFX sounds like a metal door- we don't like it ... pg 1

Dani ... There is no "That". On the line "We promised THAT we'd make them whole" ... pg 2

Music ... Needs to come in right away after Corbin's last step. Before "easy peasy, kids" HAPPY DAYS/I WANT... ... pg 3

Writer/Feore ... We need to look at "Ow, geez louise". She just needs one "ow" ... pg 4

Ensemble ... Female ensemble should be looking at [?] during "We don't got time" - HAPPY DAYS/I WANT TO BE HAPPY ... pg 4

Music ... Too much time before Gloria's "Say! I've got a place!" - HAPPY DAYS/I WANT TO BE HAPPY ... pg 6

Music/Ensemble ... Need to clean up the sigh in HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN ... pg 8

Arianna ... Do not go to grab Joe's hand when you introduce Joe to pop. (Hangover) ... pg 8

Arianna ... It works when Ari stands between Joe and Phil for "And we all won". Yes to that! ... pg 10

Ari, Corbin, Gil, Dani ... We need to fix the weave, escape blocking in ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE. The running out doesn't work ... pg 13

Ensemble/Jane ... Go over exit cues. "You can all bunk out in the barn tonight". Start to leave. "But" stop. "heave ho" leave ... pg 14

Stage Management ... Is the suitcase structural for her to stand on? ... pg 14

Ari, Corbin, Gil, Dani ... The figure 8 has to be that every time she tries to leave, someone is there - ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE ... pg 13

Dani ... We need her to play just a little stage left in CHASING RAINBOWS ... pg 15

Dani ... Needs to respond to Joe saying "subtext". Need to say something ... pg 16

right sheet:

Synopsis of Scenes & Musical Numbers

A Technicolor New England farm-turned-theater

[?] - Mid-20th Century

Act One

Scene 1, The Barn at Falbury Farm

Get Happy ... Ja[ne] [...]

Corbin Solo Tap(?)/2^8

Scene 2, M[?] Rehearsal Studio

Happy Days Are Here Again / I Want To Be Happy ... Ensemble [...]

Scene 3, The Yard, the next day

Accentuate the Positive ... Gloria, Joe, Phil, Ensemble [...]

Scene 4, The Cherry Orchard

I'm Always Chasing Rainbows ... Ja[ne] [...]

Scene 5, The Drawing Room at Wingate Manor(?)

Always ... Mrs. Wingate [...]

Always (Reprise) ... [...]

Scene 6, The Barn

It's Only A Paper Moon ... Joe, [...]

Scene 7, The Kitchen, a short time later

The Best Things in Life Are Free ... [...]

Dig For Your Dinner ... Jane(?), [...]

Scene 8, Jane's Bedroom, that evening

Me and My Shadow ... [...]

Scene 9, The Yard, the next morning

Howdy Neighbor, Happy Harvest ... J[ane] [...]

Scene 10, The Drawing Room at Wingate Manor(?), that night

Fi[?][...]

Red Hot Mamma ... Montgomery [...]

Scene 11, The Barn, the next day

'Til We Meet Again ... Gloria, Montgomery, Phil, [...]

You Wonderful You ... [...]

#some [sic]s and etc....everyone's Notes on blast there lmao but interesting to see some real live ones directly for sure....#donna feore of ''being the director and choreographer''; think all other nick/names are roles / cast #summer stock #again implicitly:#will roland #orville wingate #so close & yet so far lol. can surmise he's in the ''[...]'' of the always/reprise at the wingates'#might even be his ''O[...]'' in the apparent group 'til we meet again number ft. gloria; montgomery; phil; Q or O or C or another G....#time to go listen to the song. does our boy have a morose little solo of a reprise may haps? (also what's the ''haps'' there or in perhaps)#it Is per happens just like it's may happens....per as ''through; by; by means of'' alright neat #closing my eyes hand on a windowpane like inspired reinvented summer stock musical in ct july through august....i wish to see it #lotta bangers in the Notes. we don't like it. she just needs one ''ow.'' clean up the sigh. (hangover). ''subtext'' need to say something

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eclipsesdiary · 2 years ago

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wednesday, april 5, 2023

today was a good day. i might be a shitty person but it wasn't too bad.

i didnt fall asleep well last night. i stayed up til 2am and kept seeing people staring at me through the window, and i saw people standing in the doorway behind the curtain. i ignored them, curling up and sleeping on the couch with a red light on. that was nice

i woke up at 7:00ish as my dad started making his coffee and i woke up and went to my bed, continuing to rest. i was supposed to meet nik at 10am to play ace attorney but. i never made it. i woke up at noon.

i feel shitty for lying to him about my alarm not going off but i really needed some more sleep. i got close to 10 hours. i need more rest soon too, because nik and i rescheduled for tomorrow morning at 9am. we need to finish case 3 of game 2. its 10pm now. i should take my meds so im tired and go to bed early tonight.

i lied to her about my alarm not going off but thats okay. it's fine. we go tomorrow anyways.

after i lied, my sister had work at 2:45p so i couldnt take her car to meet nik later. but i had coral come over around 3:30pm and we went into the basement. we put on a ghibli movie, porco russo! i watched it the other day and she hasn't seen it yet. i didnt love it but coral is a massive history nerd so the planes and ww2 stuff made her happy and entertained. we did an insect puzzle while we watched it! below is it

once we finished that puzzle i made us a snack. i cut up 2 apples and put some cheezits into a compartment container, and we each got a rice krispie! she drank coke zero and i had cranberry grape juice. i keep getting uti's so ive been drinking a lot of cranberry juice.

once we finished our snack we went to make a different puzzle but it wasn't really fun so we just started watching the wind rises. i REALLY like the wind rises, but it made me cry the last time. i get really attached to other chronically ill characters, so nahoko,,, hit hard. thats okay!

we didnt finish it, we had 44min and 4sec left but we had to head out to go to trivia at this pizza place with her parents. we played trivia, i got 1 question right, and helped with some others, but mostly just kept track of the score. we scored 5th out of the 12 teams. we wouldve gotten 3rd if they had gone with one of my answers hehe~

we might do that again, it was fun! anyways, we got home and took the dogs for a walk. its insanely warm out, 82F and it was 9:30pm when we took them. too warm, especially with high humidity.

also, my arms kinda felt like it was broken all day. i dont rly like that. im gonna ice it and hope its not.

anyways. long day, so tired.

misery

#daily journal

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blouisparadise · 3 years ago

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Over the years, it has been highly requested that we make a cis girl Louis/cis boy Harry rec list, so here we are finally delivering on this! We know this isn’t everybody’s cup of tea, but if it is yours, we hope you enjoy this list. Please be sure to support BLP’s rec lists by liking and reblogging the posts if you’d like us to keep making them. Happy reading!

1) Another Night to be Harry’s | Explicit | 953 words

They were so compatible, Harry and her. It was why he always came back for more and why she let him. Taking things beyond sex had just never happened.

2) Love Is A Riddle | Explicit | 2219 words

The one where Harry and Louis basically make a sex tape

3) Loopholes | Explicit | 2231 words

Together since high school, Harry and Louis took sacred vows of purity together as a pledge to wait until marriage. They can't have sex, but that doesn't mean they can't do other things.

4) Forever Ain't Half The Time (I Wanna Spend With You) | Explicit | 2634 words

In life, there are very few opportunities for giddy happiness and sickening anxiety to coexist within a single brain.

Over the last seven minutes, Louis has learned that waiting for a pregnancy test to develop is one of those moments.

5) Eating Soft Ice Cream, Coney Island Queen | Mature | 2646 words

Harry thinks Louis is getting herself off in the kitchen (they fuck).

6) New Best Day Of My Life | Not Rated | 2836 words

"Not m’fault you insist on going to sleep like this," he mutters- Louis isn’t sure, but she has a vague suspicion that the words would sound more like an unintelligible grumble to the untrained ear. Louis, though, is an expert in morning Harry-speak.

7) Nothing Else Can Break My Heart Like True Love | Not Rated | 3510 words

Harry leans against the door frame and can't help just looking at her. She fits in with the kitchen so perfectly, small and yet stuffed to the brim with personality. He can see her touch in their mishmash of alphabet magnets and dirty dishes in the sink, in the bowl of fruit on the table and china cat that watches over their stove. It's nothing Harry would've imagined for himself as a kid, but the way the light from the candles reflect off her dark pink silk robe and her light blue eyes, Harry is smitten all over again.

8) I Had A Bad Girl In My Room, Tats All On Her Skin | Explicit | 3542 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

Written for this prompt: "Harry hands always-a-girl!louis the blunt they've been shotgunning for the past hour, flips the bill of his snapback backwards, and goes down on her til she comes twice."

9) Beside You | Explicit | 3080 words

Harry's in one direction and Louis is his busy girlfriend and they don't have much time left together until they have to go their separate ways again so they make the best of it.

10) Concerning The Moon | Explicit | 4554 words

Louis bleeds once a month. Harry just wants to make her feel good.

11) I Got a Secret That I Want to Show You | Explicit | 4752 words

'She’s not sure of the exact moment she snaps, or if that is what she would call it, more like a slow acceptance that she wants Harry between her thighs'

12) Touch My Neck And I’ll Touch Yours | Mature | 5651 words

The universe only ever works with you, never against you. Loving Harry is actual, legitimate, living proof that good things can still happen to you despite everything you've done to yourself.

13) Dress You Up in My Love | Explicit | 6646 words

Harry wraps his arms around Louis from behind, crossing them over her stomach where there's a gap between her crop top and her skirt. "I like your skirt."

Louis smiles a little. "Yeah?"

She can feel the movement as Harry nods his head. "Yeah. Your bum looks amazing all highlighted in red."

14) Sparking Up My Heart | Mature | 7541 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

What’s really throwing Louis for a loop here is how she’s literally just suddenly seeing Harry in a whole new light -- someone tall and broad and muscular and sort of really good looking, when she’s not supposed to see him like that. She’s supposed to see him as the clumsy younger boy that she got put in a band with and teases and protects from rude people and sometimes has a cuddle with before bed. Not someone who she wants to fuck her right up against a bloody wall.

15) We Are The Lucky Ones, Dear | Explicit | 8169 words

Harry and Louis were a package deal. As Louis once said, "As goes Haz, so goes my nation," or something like that. She'd been high at the time, so it was between a bunch of other shit that made no sense. The important thing was that it was the two of them against the world and nothing was going to change that.

16) Nothing Else Will Do | Explicit | 9064 words

Louis has never had an orgasm. Harry thinks she deserves one.

17) Girl That You Love | Explicit | 13492 words

Harry and Louis break up, but it's difficult for Harry to wrap his mind around the concept of forever.

18) Can’t Get Enough | Explicit | 16337 words | Sequel

It was supposed to be a week away for Louis to have some peace and quiet.

19) A Simple Twist Of Fate | Explicit | 18380 words

Louis is a successful CEO of a book publishing company. She decides she wants to become a mother, so uses a sperm donor. That sperm donor happens to be Harry Styles, who shows up at Louis' office door a month later to interview with Louis to be her new assistant. Things get complicated.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

#fic recs #bottom louis #top harry #larry #cis girl louis #cis boy harry #blp fic recs #blp

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catching-kisses · 2 years ago

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Aspen’s here! She’s actually 19 days old today, born on July 5 at 2:03 am at 41 weeks and 6 days. She was a whopping 10 lbs 2 oz at birth, 20 inches long, and her head and chest circumferences were 14 and 14 1/2 inches. She was born en caul which they say means she’s lucky and good luck for the rest of us. My labor was pretty low key, on July 4 my midwives helped me out with some mild induction methods and I went for a couple walks. I had two membrane strips, two doses of midwives brew, and one stretch with the second strip. First in the morning I went and had the first tonic and the first membrane strip. I was at a 2 for cervical dilation and Penny’s head was applying pressure to my cervix so I’m pretty sure she was engaged and I probably was going to go into labor within the next couple days anyway. I wanted to have my home birth though and not deliver at the hospital so I’m happy I did what I did. After my appointment I went home and had some good contractions for a handful of hours but they ended up dying out. I talked to Sophie the midwife I was working with that day and my favorite at the clinic and we decided to wait for me to come in for a second dose of the tonics so I could see if I could rest and walk and see if they came back. So my mom and I went to the store to grab some last minute food stuff and to walk, but nothing started back up again. I laid down for a while and then called Sophie to tell her. She asked if I wanted to come in a little later or if I wanted to wait til tomorrow, but I spent the day contracting and wanted to get the show on the road. I figured I’d have the same experience and just wanted to get a bit farther overnight, but boy was I wrong! My sister and I walked for a little bit before that appointment at 8:30 and when we were there they asked if I wanted to do another strip and a stretch this time. I was like hell yeah let’s do it, I had thought I would have to wait to have that done again until the next day. So at that point I was 3 1/2 cm dilated and the student midwife Senora stretched me to a 5. After that appointment Sophie was going off call and Bri was going on, but Senora was on all night. So my sister and I went home and must have got there by 9:15pm and I was having some good contractions again. I laid down for a half hour, but I was having regular contractions every 10 minutes until 11 and they started getting more and more painful. Around midnight I had my sister tell the midwives to get coming over because it was ramping up and they started coming faster and more painful. They showed up around 1 and within 30 minutes I was in transition. Through transition I swayed side to side while kneeling and did hip shakes and when there was more pressure I moved into a lunge through two contractions one of which Soraya listened to Aspen’s heart rate and was able to catch the shift of her body turning with the doppler which I could also feel. After the shift I then went back up kneeling and I think just had a couple more contractions before the ejection reflex started up. I think it was just two pushes for her head, two for her shoulders, and then one for the rest of her. My god was that painful. Waiting to get her shoulders out and waiting again after her shoulders was insane. My body was screaming at me to get her out but with a few words from the midwives telling me to wait for the next surge I was able to pause. She came out pretty dang blue which is probably because she was getting squeezed and probably was lacking some oxygen there for the minute between her head coming out and the rest of her. I think that’s why my body was telling me to get her out, but that was why it so important to trust your birth team. I had complete trust in my midwives to take care of us so I was able to turn off that instinct and listen to what they suggested. I had a postpartum hemorrhage which I needed two shots of pitocin for and had an actively managed delivery of my placenta, but it went well. Overall though this birth was intense and fast, it was lovely.

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naturallytom · 3 years ago

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Working Late (Peter Parker x reader)

a/n: me?? posting a piece of writing???? wild!!! n e way i hope yall enjoy this, it was something i whipped up last night!!

warnings: none really, just bad writing

prompt: “I’ll walk you home” from this list

please reblog/leave feedback!!

_______________________________________________________________________“Have a nice night!” You called to the customer as they left the shop with their drink. You sighed, wiping down the counter in front of you, checking the time on the register. 5:30pm. Only 4 more hours til your shift was over and you could finally go home.

“You counting down the hours too?” Peter asked from behind you, taking his place at the register next to yours.

“Yeah.” You replied, taking a sip of water and taking in the empty coffee shop before continuing. “This is the most dead it’s been all day. It’s a nice break.”

“I still don’t get why it’s so busy during mid day. Don’t most people get their coffees in the morning?” Peter sighed, making you chuckle.

“We live in New York City, Peter. Places like this are always busy. Plus we’re right next to a bunch of stores. A lot of the customers from today have been employees from those stores grabbing something to get them through a shift.” You reminded him, causing him to put his hands up in a surrendering motion.

“You make a good point.” He smiled. “What time did you get here?”

“3.” You replied. “You got here at 4 right?”

Peter nodded. “Surprised you saw me come in during the madness.”

“I saw you come in I just didn’t get to talk to you til now because it was so busy.” You pointed out. “I’m glad it’s died down, though.”

“Oh same. It’s actually kind of nice when it’s not hectic.” Peter said, leaning against the counter.

“It is.” You sighed, looking out the window. As much as you hated working late, you did take pleasure in being able to see the sunset in a cute coffee shop. The view of the colors in the sky blending together along with the sun slowly setting from the chairs in the shop was something you’d watch every night if you could.

And on clear nights, if you looked up, sometimes you could catch a glimpse of the stars. Tonight was cloudy though, but you knew if you looked up when you were walking home you could probably see the moon, shining through the clouds.

The peaceful images in your mind were interrupted by the oh so familiar ringing of the bell above the door, alerting you that a customer had entered.

“I got this one.” Peter told you quietly, stepping up to the register and greeting the customer.

You smiled gratefully, thankful that you’d get a break from ringing people up even if only for a minute. You hummed to yourself as you got the customer’s drink ready, before handing it to them and telling them “have a nice night!” as you did with each customer that came in, even the ones that made you want to yell and scream in their faces.

The rest of the night went by slower than you wanted it to but surprisingly pleasant for a long shift. When there were no customers, you and Peter spent your time talking and joking around. It surprised you that the two of you hadn’t spoken more, but you knew that during the school year you had less work availability and since you only finished school a week ago, you accepted that it was just because of scheduling that you hadn’t talked to him as much as you would’ve liked.

Wiping down the counter once again, you noticed this time that it was 9:30pm.

“Hey.” You spoke, getting Peter’s attention. “It’s 9:30. Time to go home.”

“Thank god.” He sighed, making you smile. “Let’s go get our stuff.”

The two of you went to the back, taking off your aprons and hanging them up, clocking out and grabbing whatever belongings you brought before heading out, knowing the manager would lock up behind you.

“Well I’m glad you be done.” You breathed. “Have a good night, Peter!”

You turned to start to walk in the direction of your apartment, but Peter’s voice interrupted you.

“Wait- Are you walking home alone?” He asked.

“I was going to, yeah. I usually do when I work late.” You answered, slightly confused.

“I- Well, I’ll walk you home.” He said.

“You don’t have to, I’ll be fine. It’s only 10 minutes.” You tried to assure him but he shook his head.

“No it’s late. I can’t let you walk home all by yourself. Even if it is just 10 minutes.” He spoke.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” You asked, starting to walk in the direction of your apartment with Peter following you.

“Not at all. I’d rather know you got back safely.” He grinned, making you smile softly.

The two of you walked in silence before arriving at a cross walk. You looked up at the sky and just as you expected, the small sliver of the moon that was out was shining through the clouds of the night sky.

“The moon is so pretty this time of night.” Peter pointed out, glancing up at the sky.

“It is really pretty. It’s one of the things I always look for on my way home.” You nearly whispered, before seeing you could cross. “We can cross, by the way.”

It wasn’t long before you reached your apartment building, pausing to get your keys out.

“Hey thanks for walking me home.” You told Peter. “I really appreciate it.”

“Anytime.” He replied. “Have a nice night.”

“You too. And will you let me know when you get back to your place safely?” You asked.

“Sure.” He told you, starting to walk in the direction of his apartment. “And hey, anytime you’re working late, let me know! I’ll walk you home!”

You smiled, but had a feeling this would not be the last time he would be walking you home.

_______________________________________________________________________

tagging some mutuals cause im scared to post this: @sunshinehollandd @moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown @spiderboytotherescue @tomhollandd @spideypeach

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x fem!reader #peter parker x female!reader #peter parker fluff #peter parker oneshot #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker fanfic #peter parker fic

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ellierenae · 3 years ago

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FIRST LINE OF YOUR LAST 20 STORIES

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line.

Open tag by @fleursdusang, thank you!

1. It started in Nanyang Commandery, 5 AD. Yin Lihua did not remember details of her distant youth, only hunger pains.

- The Mouth of Ouroboros

2. I have lost my sense of smell. I cannot remember fresh vegetables, the salt of soup, whatever it was that meat once tasted like. Even my morning oatmeal is blander than it was a year ago.

- The Myosotis Pawn Shop

3. Genesis was not a moment, not a chapter in a holy book. Genesis was a woman, towering only over a world of still puddles and chamomile flowers.

- A Tome of Tree Bark and Sap

4. Louise Kandinsky, #0000000068. So close to being something scandalous; something with a scrap of meaning.

- Forever Homes™

5. It was a chilly November afternoon. I had just cawnsummated an unusually hearty dinner, of which the dyspeptic truffe formed not the least important item, and was sitting alone in the dining-room, with my crow’s feet upon the fender, and at my elbow a small table which I had rolled up to the fire, and upon which were some apologies for dessert, with some miscellaneous bottles of wine, spirit and liqueur.

- Prose for Crows

6. Three times a day, a creative soul is born.

- One of Three Souls

7. St. Ambrose was built of history, brick, and mortar. The walls had seen births, rebirths, faith healings, the deaths of souls… and it was such a shame they had to come down.

- Mama Milana

8. “The year of the boar is for career and fortune.” Wealth came to Shulamite in the form of a prosperous marriage. Her māmā, sitting amongst jade buddhas, golden frogs, and antique coins, had predicted the wedding. Her blackholes of eyes and canyons of smile lines said, “Your palms are meaty; so much can fit inside.”

- Shulamite's Fortunes

9. Though the kidnapping of Elijah Losse is a difficult subject- one which is especially difficult for myself- I will try to remain calm and present to you the relevant facts as I know them. I will also do my best to remain impartial, even regarding my own actions.

- To Whom ELIJAH May Concern, from the desk of Ms. Vavilov

10. Caring for you is a burden / in the way carrying a basket of strawberries / presses creases into my palms

- A letter to my strawberry friends (POEM)

11. “Your name is Sherry Faraday, you are twelve years old, and today is your first birthday. Happy birthday. The following is a message from your parents.”

- Ten Minutes in the Sun

12. I was afraid of the nothing / Locking my bedroom til morning / Afraid of the reaper and shadows and me / Don't leave me with her, she needs therapy

- <3 Miss Reaper <3 (POEM)

13. Nancy wretched, crumpling the college ruled paper that bordered on antique (and dove head-first into antiquated). Its beer-stained edges put imperceptible papercuts in her calloused palms.

- Nancy N°5

14. A poem is printed in the white noise of the universe.

- Three Poems by The Spectator (POEM)

15. "Listen to them. Punk rockers of the night. What noise they make." - Dracula, 1931

- Top 5: Movie Misquotes by Jesse Daniels (POEM)

16. Peat Riverwell grew vegetables. Enormous vegetables. He hollowed out a particularly large and yellow squash to make a work shed. Into the walls, he drove tacks made of sharpened carrots. They held up his seed packets.

- Peat Riverwell

17. Momma reclined into a plastic-wrapped Laz-E-Boy. Her little girl laid over her like a weighted blanket, smashing naked nurse and doctor dollies together behind her head. She whined, kicking the air (and sometimes, sometimes momma's knees). "How come Ken and Barbie's masks are painted on? Is it 'cause kissing's bad?"

- "How Come?"

18. Inside of every bubble (sea foam, soap, or glass) is a universe.

- The Empty Space

19. No one has ever been more happy to be alive than an android.

- Organics

20. “The body’s actions are separate from its thoughts. They overlap, but not perfectly. One can drive to work and back without thinking of turning the wheel or pressing the brake. One can attempt to will themselves out of a bed without their body following suit.” - Ponderings by A.E. White

- On the Subject of Control

Patterns: I tend to introduce characters FAST. The most common first word seems to be a character name. It's that or waxing philosophical (which usually means I still have editing to do). Also, I seem to really like starting with a counter-intuitive idea. Overall, not too shabby! <3

Favorite: 3, 9, 11, 16, and 20. That's some tasty stuff right there.

Taglist/Tagging: @audelialee, @ieppiq, @saraheadriance, @bk-poetry, @thelaughingstag, @a-series-of-whumpy-events, @aalinaaaaaa, @orangeismorethanacolour, @artbyeloquent, @indecentpause, @afoolandathief, @tiredlittleoldme, @chazzawrites, @archive-of-ink, @kjscottwrites, @cannivalisms, @emdrabbles, @ceruleanstep, @ultimatecryptid

And an open tag as well! Feel free to say I tagged you :)

#writeblr tag games #writblr tag game #writing tag game #excerpts #writeblrs #this was so funnnn i'm so glad tumblr didnt eat my post!!!

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kitkatd7 · 4 years ago

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What Could’ve Been; Broken Hearts & Whiskey Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky finally starts trying to get his shit together but when you show up with another man it throws everyone for a loop.

Warnings: Angst! Overprotective Bucky, Pissed reader, Threats, womanizing character who gets what he deserves, Talk of the breakup, Cursing that Steve would be ashamed of, Tiniest bit of fluff but not really.

Word Count: 3,331

A/N: I’m finally backkk!!! I’ve been wanting to work on this series for some time now and I’m finally getting a bit of motivation to do so! I hope you enjoy it!

A/N 2: Entire paragraphs of italics are flashbacks, single sentences of italics are internal thoughts, Bold italics are song lyrics. I used lyrics from the song What Could’ve Been by Gone West for this story.

Masterlist of Masterlists || Marvel Masterlist || Series Masterlist || Part 1

-----------------------------------------

**2 Months After Breakup**

Waltzing into the living room of the Avengers tower, you're met with a chorus of greetings from your adopted family. Despite you and Bucky being over you still spend time with everyone else- just when he isn’t around.

You haven’t seen him since you broke up and you’d like to keep it that way. Seeing him would just be more than you could handle; you already lost him so why remind yourself of it more often than you already do? But at the same time his absence from movie night is just as painful of a reminder- like a puzzle with a lost piece.

Snapping back to reality you give a halfhearted smile, joining Steve and Sam on the couch as Natasha hits play on ‘John Wick’.

----------------------------------------

2 hours later you’re standing in the kitchen making snacks with Sam before the next movie starts. “That’s ridiculous, Sammy!” You giggle, watching the microwave timer count down until the popcorn is ready. “Bacon does not belong in ice cream.”

You hear him chuckle behind you as he empties M&M’s into bowls. “Bacon belongs in everything, sweetheart. You're gonna try it sometime or else...”

“Or else what, Sa-” You cut off as you turn around, frozen on the spot as you peer over

Sam’s shoulder.

“Hey, y/n,” Bucky whispers. Your gaze travels up and down the man you used to know, but he’s different. His eyes have bags beneath them from lack of sleep, his hair longer and more unruly than it was the last time you saw him. The stubborn jawline you remembered was replaced by a nervous clenched jaw. His eyes once so bright were now timid and dull; no longer holding the same sparkle that used to make you smile.

In an instant your expression went from a carefree woman with her friends to the girl who’s heart was shattered by the stranger before you whose face you used to know so well.

“Can we talk?” Bucky asks gently, his expression hopeful yet dreading.

“What are you doing here, James?” you whisper, wrapping your arms around yourself as Sam looks between you both carefully.

“I live here,” Bucky nearly scoffs.

“Barnes,” Sam warns, his shoulders tense as he glances at you worriedly.

“I don’t want to talk to you, James. I have nothing to say.”

“All you have to do is listen. Please, doll.”

Despite your best efforts to appear unbothered, the nickname shatters your false bravado. “Don’t call me that,” your voice breaks as tears cloud your vision.

“Excuse me,” you whisper, rushing past both men, ignoring Bucky’s call of your name and attempt to stop you.

“Let her go, man. You’ve done enough,” you hear Sam say as you flee down the hallway, slamming the bathroom door behind you.

Locking the door you turn on the faucet as the tears begin to fall and the suppressed memories rush back:

**2 Months Before Breakup* Flashbacks*

“It’s midnight! Where the hell were you?” You yelled, tears pricking your eyes.

Bucky sighed in defeat, his expression resigned and cold. “Can we do this in the morning?” His tone more of an order than a request as he turns his back on you and begins to walk down the hallway of your apartment.

“No, we can’t do it in the morning. You owe me an explanation. You were supposed to be here when my parents got here. You promised.” You sniffled as Bucky’s shoulders stiffened. “I’m sorry. I don’t have a good enough reason,” he mumbles before walking away.

I haven't stopped thinking about you

Has it really been this long?

Two years and an ocean between us

And I don't know where it all went wrong

I know I coulda kissed you harder

And yeah, you coulda followed through

Shoulda talked a little bit softer

But we meant every "I love you"

**1 Month Before Breakup**

Glancing around the restaurant you see no sign of Bucky. Checking your phone for the 8th time in the past 10 minutes, you sigh. Where is he? You’ve been here for an hour; waiting in your new dress for the man who hadn’t bothered to show. You’re getting tired of the pitiful looks the waitress and the other customers are shooting you. Polishing off your second glass of wine you open your phone: no new messages.

You’ve already sent Bucky 5 texts and called him 4 times; you're done.

Paying for the wine quickly you all but flee the restaurant, trying to hold back your tears. If you weren’t so upset you would probably laugh; laugh at yourself for being so naive to think he would keep his word. But you can’t bring yourself to laugh, not while your heart slowly shatters at the hands of the man who swore never to hurt you.

I don't know what this is or what it isn't

But it feels like we've got unfinished business

**2 Months Ago; AKA Week of Breakup**

“Hey this is y/n, I can’t come to the phone right now cuz I’m out livin my life! Leave it at the beep.” He hears your all too familiar voicemail through the speaker. He had helped you come up with it, you hadn’t known what to put on it. He kicks himself, knowing you weren’t actually out living your life, just dodging his calls. Not that he blamed you- He deserved it and he knew it. Calling again, he’s not surprised when he hears your voicemail again.

“Hey… Um, listen, I know I was supposed to be at your place after the mission… I just wanted to unwind with the guys and- Shit. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t think you would mind that much, I’ll be over in a bit to make it up to you, okay?” He leaves the message and ends the call before starting his car and driving towards your apartment, guilt heavy in his stomach.

You listen to his voicemail over and over, a strange mix of rage and sorrow weighing on your heart.

Tears roll slowly down your cheeks silently as you lay curled up in a defensive ball on your bed, trying to block out the unmistakable sound of Bucky begging you to open the front door; “Babe, please open the door,” He says, fist resting gently against the frame. “I’m sorry- really, really sorry. Please let me in and we can talk about it,” He sighs, resting his head against the door in defeat. He could break the lock and go in. You both know that. But he wouldn’t do that to you- All that would do is make you fear him and that’s the last thing he wants. He slides his back down the wall til he’s sitting on the floor next to your door, his elbows on his knees and his hands in his hair; Tears gathering in his lashes. He really messed up this time.

The next day you drag yourself out of bed, trying to forget last night and all the tears you shed. After a shower and breakfast, you head out the door for a coffee run before work. You stop in your tracks when you see Bucky still sitting there, eyes red from lack of sleep and regret written all over his face. He jumps up when you walk out, keys in hand, the door closing behind you. “What are you doing here?”

“I- I came to apologize,” he murmurs, looking in your eyes.

“I don’t want to hear it,” you bite, moving to step around him but stopping when he steps to block your path.

“Bucky, I’m going to be late for work,” you say coldly, glaring at him. “Move out of the way.”

“Please doll, just let me explain-”

Huffing, you roll your eyes. “I understand perfectly, James.” You watch as he flinches a little at the use of his first name. You only use it when you're really mad or really happy, and it isn’t the latter right now. “You were too busy with your beer buddies to come see your girlfriend after being gone for three weeks, but what’s new? It’s been like this for months. I guess it was naive of me to expect something else this time.”

'Cause we left blood the on the tracks

Sweat on the saddle

Fire in the hills

A bullet in the barrel

Words never said in a story that didn't end

Looks like you're on the mend and I'm on the bottle

We folded our hands with money on the table

**Present Day**

All the broken promises, nights alone and tears came rushing back as sobs racked your body. Sliding down the door you rest your head between your knees, eyes screwing shut tightly in a useless attempt to stop the bittersweet memories and tears.

Little do you know that outside the door sat a man with tears clouding his vision as he listened to your muffled sobs on the other side of the door. In that moment he wanted nothing more than to turn back time and undo all of the agony he caused you and hold you like he's been wishing he could for the past 2 months. You were just on the other side of the door, separated from him by a few inches of wood and yet you had never been farther away. What did he do?

Tried moving on, but I keep coming back again

To what could've been

What could've been

Oh, what could've been

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

-------------------------------------------

Stumbling into your apartment you all but throw your keys and purse down before shuffling into the bathroom and turning on the hot water for a shower before turning back to the mirror.

The person you see looking back at you in the mirror isn’t who you remember- or at least not who you thought you were. The person you remember was carefree and happy; living in a dream with the love of their life. You don’t recognize the girl in the mirror with swollen, bloodshot eyes and shoulders that hold the weight of the world. What happened to the girl you used to know?

A single tear rolled down your cheek, leaving a mournful trail in its wake. Bucky. Bucky happened to that girl.

There had always been doubt hidden in the back of your mind; doubt that your beautifully woven reality would become nothing more than a tangled web of what once was and could’ve been, but you never thought it would end like this. You had imagined it being another girl that came between you, or perhaps his self loathing or the inadequacy you felt. Never did you think it would be the unexplainable, cold, unfeeling resentment that had taken over the gentle, sweet man you thought you knew. Where did it go wrong?

A couple more simple, "I'm sorry's"

A little less tryna be right

I wonder how many good mornings we wasted

'Cause we didn't say goodnight

One touch before we fell asleep

Just before our love was out of reach

Coulda been enough, coulda saved us from this loneliness

------------------------------------------

“Steve?” Bucky calls out as he strides into the training room, the door banging shut behind him. Whirling around Steve clutches a hand to his chest. “Jesus, Buck! You scared the hell out of me!”

“I need your help,” Bucky demands, jaw set in a firm line and his eyes glittering with determination.

Steve runs a hand over his face, letting out a sigh. “Is this about Y/N and the other night? Because if it is I am not apologizing to the poor girl for you, so you can just-”

“I want her back.”

“You what?!” Steve exclaimed, his jaw dropping.

“I want her back- I need her back. And I need you to help me.”

“Damn it, Bucky. It’s been 2 months and you saw how she still feels about what you did. How are we gonna fix that?”

“I don’t know yet, Steve… But I have to try. Please.”

-----------------------------

Strolling into Tony’s party happily, you smile up at your date, your arm linked with his.

You greet Tony with a warm smile and a kiss on the cheek before turning towards the sound of Natasha calling your name. Sashaying towards her you give her a hug before turning to give Thor and Steve one as well.

“So, who’s this?” Nat asks, gesturing towards your date who’s eyeing her unabashedly, his gaze dropping to her neckline.

“Oh, sorry! This is Jordan!”

You roll your eyes as Thor begins lightly interrogating him, but he doesn’t pay much attention, his gaze fixed on Natasha’s retreating form.

“Can we talk?” Steve asks, his hand resting gently on your forearm. Following him into a nearby corridor you give him a puzzled look. “Is something wrong, Steve?”

“Um, not exactly…” he murmurs, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Well, what is it then?”

“It’s about Bucky.” Seeing your irritated expression he holds up his hands innocently. “Wait a minute. Just hear me out, okay?”

“Fine.”

“Look, he’s been spiraling since you guys broke up; not eating, always working and out on missions constantly, and his nightmares are getting worse again.”

“Why should I care?”

“Don’t do that. Don’t pretend like you don’t still love hi- Actually, fine, Y/N. If you want to pretend that you don’t care then that’s your problem. Just know that seeing you the other night? Changed something. He’s trying again, and I don’t want to see him lose that. So even if you want to tell yourself that it doesn’t matter to you, at least think about it for me.” Steve turned away, pausing for a moment. “Oh, and by the way? Seeing you here tonight with someone else isn’t gonna be good for anyone… But why should you care, right?”

Taken aback by Steve’s lack of usual patience, you can only watch as he walks off, disappearing into the crowd and leaving you with mixed emotions and a hard decision ahead of you; what were you gonna do?

No matter how hard you tried to block out thoughts of Bucky they always managed to slip back in between the cracks in your shattered heart. Steve was right; you did care. But what were you supposed to do about it tonight? Especially about Jordan. Were you supposed to walk up to him and say ‘oh, by the way you have to leave because my ex is here and he may or may not rip your arms off? No, that wouldn’t work.

Racking your brain for a solution, you snag a glass of champagne from one of the passing trays, downing it in the hopes of drowning your mixed emotions - it didn’t work. Taking a deep breath, you start weaving between the sea of bodies towards where you left Jordan.

Spotting Thor and Tony you make your way towards them, smirking when you hear Tony arguing with Thor over… something.

“Where’s Jordan?” you ask, joining their small circle and trying to shake off your conversation with Steve.

“He was here a minute ago… I’m not sure though, kiddo,” Tony says, giving you a puzzled glance. “Speak of the devil, here he is!” Tony exclaims as you look over your shoulder to see a slightly ruffled Jordan walking towards you, his eyes holding an unnatural hazy look.

“Where were you?” You ask lightly, gaze raking his bedraggled form; his shirt slightly untucked, hair mused and lips pink.

“Oh um, nowhere. Just the bathroom.”

Accepting another glass of champagne, you push down the fury in your chest. You’d just taken a sip when an all too familiar figure came to stand beside you; a scotch glass in his hand and clad in an unfairly attractive black suit. “Hey Y/N, who’s this?”

Nearly choking on your drink, your eyes widen. “Bucky! What are you doing here? You hate these parties!” You say before you can stop yourself. Stupid. The offhanded statement would seem innocent to most, but to you- to you it was a reminder that you still knew him better than anyone else did, a reminder that you remembered all the nights alone together instead of at the noisy parties, a reminder that you still cared enough to remember.

You could see that he was thinking the same thing. “This is Jordan. My…” you faded off, not quite sure what to call him.”

“Date,” Jordan finishes for you, wrapping his left arm around your waist lazily, his hand traveling slightly further than appropriate for the first date. “But we’re keeping things loose, isn’t that right?” Jordan asks, glancing at you but not waiting for an answer. “And who the hell are you?”

Your eyes widen in shock, glancing back and forth between the two men; taking in Jordan’s cocky smirk and Bucky’s knowing look.

Bucky extended his hand, a malicious smirk on his lips and dark glint in his eyes as he took in the unprofessional state of Jordan- including the lipstick stain on his white button down- and the uncomfortable shift of your weight, leaning away from your sorry excuse of a date.

Jordan accepted the outstretched hand, wincing visibly and paling at Bucky’s iron grip. “Bucky Barnes,” Bucky offered, enjoying as the other man wriggled uncomfortably in his grip, his arrogance forgotten. His gaze lighted on Bucky’s metal arm, his eyes lighting with recognition and terror.

“Holy- you're the Winter Soldier! God man, I’ve heard so much about you-”

“An honor, I’m sure,” Bucky drawls, looking bored, his voice dropping an octave in warning. “Now get lost.”

You sputter defiantly as Jordan scurries off, his tail between his legs.

“What was that for?!” you fume,a fire burning in your eyes as you turn on Bucky.

“Oh c’mon. The guys’ been eyeing every other woman in here! He’s a douche! What was I supposed to do? Just let him feel you up after sneaking off with who knows what girl?”

“Who ‘feels me up’ is none of your concern anymore!”

“Come off it, Y/N! You didn’t even want him touching you! I was protecting you, so your welcome,” he huffed.

“I don’t need protecting, and I sure as hell don’t need you to protect me. So you can go fuck yourself, James. You can’t treat me like shit for months and then get mad when someone else does the same thing!” you snarl, spinning on your heel and storming off as Bucky watches you.

Bucky stalks across the floor, the crowd parting before him; not willing to get in the way of the 6 foot man on a mission. Locating his target- dancing with another girl no less- he grabs him roughly by the collar before pushing him against a pillar.

“What the hell, dude?” Jordan fumes, eyes locking on Bucky’s before he goes slack, his eyes widening in horror when he recognizes the former assassin.

“Every single thing you’ve ever heard about me is true, so shut up and listen closely,” Bucky growls, his arm braced against Jordans chest forcefully, a murderous glint in his eyes. “I expect you to do exactly what I say, and if you don’t, I’ll know. First, you are going to get your sorry ass out of here, and then you are going to send Y/N an apology text, telling her what an asshole you are, and that you don’t deserve to even look at her. Then, you are not going to get within 1,000 feet of her, and you are not going to text, call, or even think about her ever again, or I swear to God I will hunt you down, cut your balls off and shove them down your goddamn throat, got it? Nod if you understand. Good. Now. Get. Out.”

Releasing Jordan, Bucky watches as he falls to the floor before scrambling towards the door with the fear of God instilled in him.

“What the hell did you just do, Bucky?”

-----------------------------------

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arrowflier · 4 years ago

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Chasing After You (Ficlet)

Daily Speedwrite #5, early morning edition. 32 minutes. This one has been in my head since last night, and a completely different take is now waiting (im)patiently to be written as a real fic, so I thought I’d get it down before work.

“Rise and shine, husband of mine!”

Mickey wakes to Ian’s singsong voice and groans, rolling over and pulling the comforter over his head.

“Too early, asshole,” he grits out, and releases the cover to slap aimlessly behind him when Ian starts poking at his shoulder.

“Come on Mick, you promised,” Ian whines exaggeratedly. Mickey relents enough to flip onto his back and level a glare at Ian’s pouting face.

“When the fuck did I do that?” he asks plaintively, and Ian’s pout turns into a smirk.

“Well..” he pretends to think, taking a seat on his side of the bed and causing it to dip, pushing Mickey closer to the center. “It was some time between getting in the shower last night and me doing that thing you like with my--”

“Okay, okay!” Mickey yelps, cutting him off and sitting up hurriedly. “Fine, man, just...stop talking if you want me out of this bed anytime soon.”

Ian beams. Mickey glances away, finger rubbing at the side of his nose, and shoves him away with one hand.

“Go make breakfast or something, let me get dressed in peace,” Mickey tells him.

Ian gives him a look. “We’re not eating ‘til after.”

Mickey gives him a betrayed look. “The fuck?” he asks.

Ian sighs. “Fine. I’ll make you a smoothie or something,” he relents, standing and making his way into the hallway. “But you gotta be ready in 10, before it gets too crowded!” he calls back as he leaves, and Mickey groans again, deep in his chest.

He takes one more minute to sit there before pushing himself out of their warm, soft bed, casting a longing look back at it as he goes to open the dresser. What the hell had he been thinking when he agreed to this?

-------

Fifteen minutes later, with Ian breathing down his neck the whole time, Mickey chugs the last of his breakfast smoothie--fresh fruit and fucking kale from the little community garden Ian was obsessed with--and leaves the apartment.

“Remind me why I’m doin’ this again?” he asks his husband as they stomp down the stairs and out of the apartment building.

“Gotta get healthy, Mick,” Ian reminds him. “You just about died running after Franny the other day, what are you gonna do when we got one of our own?”

Mickey glowers at him, opens his mouth to remind him that he hadn’t agreed to that nonsense yet, but Ian adds, “It’s this or quit smoking,” and takes off at a slow jog.

Cursing, Mickey chases after him. Like he always does.

At first, it’s okay, he guesses. He can see Ian’s back bunching and those long legs churning right in front of him, and a good view has always done wonders for his motivation. But despite the early hour, soon enough there are too many other people around them, out running on their own or cutting between them to duck into the little cafes that spot the whole west side.

As Mickey nearly runs into the third fucker that can’t just wait for him to go past, Ian gains on him, disappearing around the next corner. Mickey’s breath hitches, and his chest tightens with something other than the breathlessness that comes from this godforsaken exercise.

He shoves past the bystander, ignoring his squawk of outrage, and stumbles as he tries to speed up too fast. He flies around that corner, but Ian is gone, nowhere in sight.

“Fuck,” he whispers to himself as he comes to a halt. “FUCK,” he says louder as he searches unsuccessfully for that telltale spark of red hair in the bright morning sun.

He tries to breathe deeply before the panic sets in too far, but his lungs won’t cooperate, still in overdrive from the run. Ian would come back, he tells himself firmly. He just lost sight of him, it’s not like he left on purpose. Ian was running with him, not running away--he’d notice, and he’d come back to find him.

It’s not like all the other times Mickey lost him.

He’s just standing there, breathing, people jogging past him on the sidewalk, when Ian’s voice reaches his ears.

“Mick?” he asks. “You okay?”

And Mickey turns around, and he’s there, with his bright damn hair and his face shining with the beginnings of a good sweat.

“You fell behind,” Ian said unnecessarily, “so I rounded the block to find you.”

Of course he did, the stupid asshole.

“Coulda just waited,” Mickey breathes out, trying to hide his relief.

Ian shrugs. “Figured you’d like the break anyway.” He eyes Mickey for a moment, takes in the redness of his face, the quickness in the rise and fall of his chest. “Sure you’re okay?” he asks again, softer.

“Yeah, Gallagher,” Mickey answers, something easing in him at the other man’s concern. “Yeah, I’m okay. Let’s go.”

Ian tries to get in front of him again to lead the way, and Mickey grabs his arm to pull him back.

“Not so fast, firecrotch,” he teases, feeling lighter than he had all morning. He starts up a slow jog, continuing aimlessly down the street, knowing he’s probably have to let Ian take the lead again before they were done. But for now, he put a little extra swing in his gait, and called back over his shoulder:

“Time for you to chase after my ass for once.”

#daily speedwrite #fanfic #gallavich #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich

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spencerreidslove · 4 years ago

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Spencer and Maggie

A/N: This was originally supposed to be written as a celebration for 500 followers, but I suck at timelines, so let’s pretend I planned it for 600. This is a little side story of the first fic I wrote that ever got me followers: Matchmaker! This takes place 10 years after the first 3 parts I wrote.

Matchmaker Letters Trick or Treat

————

“Whatcha thinking about?” Spencer asked.

You were looking at your husband of 6 years and smiling.

“Nothing.” You said.

You were thinking about how lovely it had been since you met Spencer. That fateful day when he was late to pick up his daughter (who was also yours now) was one of the best days of your life.

You smiled and snuggled in closer to Spencer’s side. You two were sitting on the couch, watching a nature documentary that Spencer had picked out. It was getting late though, and soon you would probably head off to bed.

From somewhere above you, you heard a thump.

“Shouldn’t Maggie be asleep by now? She has school tomorrow.” You said.

“Maybe she just knocked something over.” Spencer said. But he stood up anyway, going over to the stairs. Even if Maggie had just knocked something over, years of working in the FBI had made Spencer extra cautious.

You followed behind Spencer, watching as he gently knocked on Maggie’s door before pushing it open.

You could see him stiffen, and then turn on the light. He relaxed, ever so slightly, and then cleared his throat.

“Margaret Morgan Reid where do you think you’re going?” Spencer asked.

You moved so you were behind him, and you could see Maggie with one foot out of her bedroom window. She had clearly been reaching for the tree that was right next to her window, presumably so she could sneak out.

“Um...” Maggie said.

“Other foot, back in the house. Now.” Spencer said.

Maggie slid her other foot back in the house, and sheepishly folded her hands in front of her.

Now that you could clearly see the room, you saw that the thump had come from Maggie shoving her desk over and a few books falling off of it.

“Mind telling me what you’re doing?” Spencer asked, folding his arms over his chest.

Maggie looked up from the spot she was looking at on the floor, and it really hit you how similar she looked to her father.

Now 16, Maggie had clearly taken after Spencer, with his eyes and dark, unruly hair. She was also tall and was very smart for her age.

“I was just checking out this noise I heard outside.” Maggie said, biting the inside of her cheek. That was the thing about Maggie, she was a horrible liar and you could always tell when she was lying.

Spencer tiltited his head, showing that he didn’t believe her.

“Fine.” Maggie said, sighing. “I was going out because there’s this party that this guy is hosting, and I knew that you would never let me go.”

“Because you have school tomorrow.” You said.

Maggie rolled her eyes. “You guys never let me do anything though!” She said.

“That’s not true-“

You were cut off my Maggie groaning.

“Yes it is! Last week when I told you about Lilith’s party you wouldn’t let me go. I asked to sleep over at April’s house you said it was too far away. When I asked about Max’s birthday dinner you said you didn’t like him and wouldn’t let me go!” Maggie said.

To be fair, you had only said no to two of those things. Spencer was very protective of Maggie, and while you were fine letting her go to a dinner with Max, Spencer said no.

“I just want you to be safe.” Spencer said.

“I know, I know, you see all these horrible things and you don’t want me to end up on that screen, but I’m 16 not 5 and no one’s going to be friends with me if I can never do anything!” Maggie said.

You glanced at the clock on Maggie’s wall and cut Spencer off before he could say anything else.

“It’s late and we all have places to be in the morning, can we please talk about this tomorrow?” You said.

Both of them agreed, but before you could leave Maggie in her room, Spencer walked over to her window and closed it, and placed a few heavy books along the windowsill.

“Really, Dad?” Maggie asked.

“Yes. Now go to bed.” He said.

You and Spencer left Maggie’s room and went fown the hall to your bedroom.

The next morning, you were standing at the kitchen island, eating some cereal when Maggie came down the stairs and into the kitchen.

“Where’s Dad?” She asked.

“He got called out on a case early this morning.” You said.

Maggie frowned and sat down at the island, and you pushed her favorite cereal twoards her.

“About last night...” Maggie started.

“Don’t worry about it. I get it, you know it was a million years ago but I was once a teenage girl. I’ll talk to Spencer about letting you do more things.” You said.

Maggie sighed but smiled a little.

“C’mon eat. I have to drop you off before I go wrangle a bunch of 6 year olds.” You said.

You were finishing grading some spelling quizzes after school when your phone rang.

“Mrs. Reid?” A voice on the other line asked.

You sat up straighter. Any time Spencer went out you were afraid of a call like this. But it didn’t sound like any of his coworkers, and you know Penelope would’ve called you right away.

“Yes.” You said nervously.

“I’m calling in regards to your daughter, Margaret.” The voice said.

You let out your breath a little. “What about her?” You asked. Normally, she would’ve ridden the bus home and been there when you got home.

“This afternoon she received a detention for swearing at a teacher and fellow student. You are on her contact sheet and you need to come pick her up.” The voice said.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in like ten minutes.” You said. You grabbed your things, utterly confused at the situation. Maggie was a sweet girl and her swearing at a teacher and classmate was way out of line for her.

When you got to the high school, you went inside and waited for Maggie. When she saw you were waiting for her, she seemed to darken even more.

“Maggie.” You said.

She ignored you and didn’t say anything til you were pulling into the driveway.

“Does Dad know I got a detention?” Maggie asked.

“I haven’t had a chance to call him.” You said. Maggie seemed even more upset by this and as soon as you got inside, she went up to her room and closed the door.

Something was definitely going on.

You figured you had to call Spencer.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” Spencer answered the call on the second ring.

“Nothing. Well...it’s about Maggie.” You said.

“Is she ok?” Spencer asked.

“She got a detention today.” You said.

“What? What did she do?”

“There may have been some...choice words at a teacher and classmate.”

“What did she say.”

“Something along the lines of ‘You’re a fucking bitch’ to the teacher and ‘You goddamn asshole’ to the classmate.”

Spencer sighed over the line. “Did Maggie day why she said those things?”

“No. She’s barley said 2 words to me. Something’s definitely wrong.”

“I might be home tonight, if all goes well. Please figure out what’s wrong.”

“I will. Love you.”

“Love you too, Y/N.” Spencer said.

After your goodbyes you made your way up to Maggie’s room and gently knocked on the door before entering.

She was curled up on her bed, holding Lily, her favorite stuffed bunny from childhood she never went anywhere without.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” You asked, sitting at the end of her bed and gently rubbing her leg.

“I want to talk to Dad about it, but he’s never here.” Maggie quietly mumbled.

“You know that’s just how his job works. But you can always call him.” You said.

Maggie rolled over so she was facing you.

“It’s not the same.”

“You know you can talk to me, right?” You asked.

Maggie sighed and sat up. “I like talking with you, I really do, but I want to talk to Dad. Last week when he was on that case in Vermont I called him and he hung up on me mid story because something I said reminded him about some old book that could be a clue or something.”

You sighed, and wrapped your arms around Maggie.

“I just want to talk to him and have him listen without being interrupted.” She said.

“He said he might be home tonight. Whenever he gets home, we can talk about him taking some time off if that’s what you want.” You said.

Maggie nodded and you sat there, rubbing her back for a few minutes.

It was nearly 2 am when the front door quietly unlocked. Spencer clearly hadn’t seen the light on in the living room, and was a little startled when you called out to him.

“Y/N? What are you still doing up?” He asked, moving to sit beside you on the couch.

“I wanted to talk to you.” You said. “Do you know why Maggie got a detention today?”

“Yeah, you told me. She swore at a teacher.” Spencer said.

“Well, yes...but I think she got a detention so you would talk to her.”

Spencer furrowed his eyebrows. “What? Why?”

“I talked to her earlier. She said that last week you hung up on her mid story because you thought of a clue. And that she just wants to talk to you.” You said.

Spencer sat there, doing nothing but staring into space.

You poked his back with your fingers and shoved him towards the stairs. “Go talk to your daughter, Spencer.” You said.

“Why would she still be awake at 2 am?” He asked, narrowing his eyes at you.

You looked down and blushed. “We may or may not have finished a movie marathon a couple minutes ago...”

Spencer sighed, but you knew he was smiling. He headed twoards the stairs and you heard him knock on Maggie’s door.

The next afternoon, you were humming to yourself as you made lunch. When you had woken up, Spencer and Maggie weren’t there, but there was a note that said they would be back soon.

You heard the garage door open and a few minutes later, Maggie bounded into the kitchen, holding a bag from her favorite store and smiling brightly.

“Good day?” You asked.

Maggie came up to you and hugged you tightly. “Whatever you said to Dad, thank you.” She said.

You smiled and she ran up the stairs.

A few moments later, Spencer came into the room, holding two massive bags, all filled with books.

You smiled and grabbed one of the bags. “I see you took my advice.” You said.

“I did. Have I ever told you how smart you are?” Spencer asked.

“The Doctor Spencer Reid calling me smart? It must be a miracle.” You said.

Spencer put down his bag of books and wrapped his arms around you. “You are a miracle.” He said, leaning down to kiss you.

“You two are so gross.” Maggie said from down the hall.

Tags!(Open)

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#spencer reid x yn #jennifer jareau #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #spencer reid x you #dr spencer reid #david rossi #derek morgan #penelope garcia #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #father spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fanfiction #cm #matthew gray gubler #mgg

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mommymooze · 3 years ago

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Dreaming of a Different Day

Reader, Fe3h Characters, Modern AU

Blood, gore, fighting, dead bodies, homework, sweating

7986 words

Working night shift at a gas station isn’t the most glorious job, but it helps pay the bills while you are trying to complete your degree at college. Determined to graduate without getting buried under an insurmountable amount of student debt, you work two jobs, sometimes three, even if it means taking 10 years to get a 4 year degree. Scoring a job in building maintenance for the college certainly helps with getting reduced fees on classes and books. Between two current jobs and classes or study time, there isn’t much time to sleep. Sometimes you volunteer your body as a lab rat for some of the studies done at the university, if you can work them in to your hectic schedule. This time they want to study your brain while you sleep. Getting paid to sleep? Sign me up!

Filling your 32oz. thermal bucket with coffee, you head out to catch a bus to campus. You have about an hour to study before you make it to the appointment at the psychology building.

An alarm sounds on your phone, time to pack up to make it to your appointment on time. Stashing your laptop and books into your backpack you head up the stairs to the third floor. Opening the door, you see a sleepy looking green haired student gathering forms together and stapling them into packets, placing them into manila folders.

“I’m here for the 8:00am appointment.” You announce.

He hands you a folder and a pen, telling you to fill out the paperwork and return them to him when complete.

You fill out the forms completely and honestly. Your sleep schedule is hell, you sleep when you can, mostly during daylight hours. You don’t recall any of your dreams or nightmares. No drinking or drugs. No sense in lying on these forms, they’ll find out if you’re trying to say something to please them or force yourself into their study group. Forms complete, you place them on the front desk as the young man nods.

Returning to your table you pull out your laptop and begin working on homework. You notice someone is standing in front of you.

A tall young woman with short blonde hair smiles at you, asking you to follow her. You grab your things, she leads you to a small room with a bed and several different machines, some on tables, some freestanding.

She tells you to change into a hospital gown, tie in the front because they need to attach some wires for monitoring. Most of the wires are attached to your head. She tells you the liquid they use to have it stick to your head is easily washed out of your hair. Once you are fully wired, she leaves and comes back with the fluffiest, warmest blanket you have ever felt and wraps it around you leading you to the bed. She asks if you want a sleep mask to block out the light and you do. The hum of the machines, the darkness and the fluffy warm blanket are enough to get you to fall asleep quite quickly.

A soft alarm goes off and you hear the voice of the green haired man asking you what you remember. You stay still, thinking. You recall walking down a corridor, speaking with other people. They are dressed differently. Maybe wearing a school uniform? You were carrying a book headed to…you can’t remember. It is strange, why suddenly have a dream here of all places? Taking the mask from your eyes you look to see him writing. He finishes his notes and leaves muttering a soft “Thank you.”

The wires are removed, you are told to change back into your regular clothes. They will message you if you will be chosen for further study. Handing you an envelope full of cash you head out the door, just in time to make it to your class.

Classes done for the day. You are mopping the floors of the student housing building 3. Yet another party to clean up after. Sure, you could notify the RA’s and make the other students do it, but they would make more mess and take too long. It is easier to simply clean it up yourself. Giving the floor a final mop, you shriek as someone steps behind you and taps on your shoulder.

“Hey, sorry we made so much mess for you.” A handsome male with dark hair, darker skin and brilliant green eyes smiles at you.

“No prob. No mess, no job, right?” You answer. They always show up when the work is about done.

“Can I interest you in some cake? We have some left.” He gestures with his hand open towards you.

“Nope. Smelled it too long cleaning it from floor vents.” You keep swiping the mop back and forth, then dunking it in your soapy bucket, squeezing it out and slapping it back on the floor.

Claude attempts to introduce himself. “Claude Riegan, Senior, Political Science.”

You answer in a monotone voice, “I am the janitor.“

“Hah.” He forces a laugh. “I’ve seen you in the halls here and there. You’re a student as well.”

You shrug, going to the closet to dump out your bucket. “Gotta run. Bldg 2 calls.”

He smiles and waves, you sort of wave back.

Work complete you head back to the smaller than an efficiency apartment you rent. Hotplate, and microwave for cooking, it has a half bath so you wash in a plastic tub. One small room for everything, no closets. Everything you own is in labeled tubs. No windows, but there is a door that locks.

You work on homework until your brain is fried. Collapsing on your bed you set an alarm, plug in your phone and laptop and sleep for a few hours before you have to get up for work tonight at the gas station.

Making it to class 5 minutes early you haul your bucket of coffee with a straw in it to your seat. Did you see that Claude guy in the halls? He likes yellow shirts. Both times you saw him in that color.

Today you listen to the lecture while looking around the room. Most of the time you take notes but you know this particular subject well. There’s a guy with light green hair and glasses to the right. Why does he look familiar? Have you seen him in a class before? You recognize the emo guy in front with a brown haired girl always huddled together. Oh no. The horrendous heartbreaker is here. Who doesn’t know about him? How many messes of his have you cleaned up because he’s dumped a girl and she resorted to violence and damaged school property? At least 100. You had no idea he was in your class. You lift up a book to block his direct view of your face. Perhaps you can remain nonexistent to him.

The professor ends the lesson. You note the work to be turned in, due date, assigned reading. Just as you’re about to finish tossing everything into your bag, you get a text. The psych guys want you for another sleep study. You tell them you can daytime sleep Tues or Thurs or Fri til 5. Great. They take all 3.

Cool. You may actually have some free cash for a few weeks. Maybe you can splurge on new shoes.

Monday night at the gas station is quiet. They usually are. Coffee keeps you coherent enough to make correct change and clean things properly. You have enough time to get home, clean up and hit the psy lab by 6am. They are to wake you 2 so you can make your class in plenty of time.

Mercie is the girl that wires you up to the machines. She hands you the sleep mask and fluffy blanket. It doesn’t take you long to go to sleep having come off your caffeine high a couple hours ago.

The alarm goes off and you bolt upright to a seated position in the bed, gasping for breath.

“Tell me quickly.” The green haired man encourages you to speak.

“I was fighting for my life. There was a battle. It was primitive. There were swords and long spears and huge axes with blades bigger than your head. A woman had fire coming from her fingers killing a man. I could smell his flesh burning. I stabbed bad people with my spear. I had to help my friends. We were fighting…um…a gang? thieves? They were hurting people nearby. My friend was hit by a spear and I killed the guy that hit him. Then I was…touching my friend’s stab wound. Light came from my fingers and I watched the hole in his side close up.” You sat there, staring at your hands. They were your hands but no longer covered in blood. You were grimacing as hard as you were in the dream, concentrating on your hands. But they did not glow.

“What else? What about the land?” His disinterested voice demands more.

“It was in a wild undeveloped area. No buildings. Just trees and rocks and bushes. We were fighting our way up a hill. Some of us going up one side, some going the other. I could hear them fighting on the other side of the hill. We were going to meet at the top. I couldn’t wait to see the leader, I kept looking for her blue hair. I knew she was the best fighter ever and would do everything to keep us safe.”

“Anything else?” His last follow up question.

“It’s faded a lot now. So much blood everywhere. The smells, they were awful. Metal banging on metal was so loud.”

He stands and stretches. “Thank you.” He says as he closes the door behind him.

You get dressed and grab your stuff heading for your afternoon class. Why are you suddenly dreaming? You don’t remember dreaming much before since you were a kid. This was a nightmare. You didn’t drink anything. You had slept over 7 hours, that’s the longest you’ve slept in…months? If the nightmares keep up, you’re not sure this is worth the extra cash.

After class you head home. You don’t feel as exhausted as you normally do, so you work ahead on a class or two. Most of the time homework can be done while you’re at the gas station counter.

Class in the morning is boring. Only a few more weeks to suffer before you get a break. Heading home you lay in your bed. You want to sleep. You really, really do. But now you’re afraid if you close your eyes, will the dreams continue? You grab your accounting book and start reading. You wake up with your alarm going off so you can get ready to head to work tonight. You do not dream, not even a about spreadsheets.

Work is uneventful. Mostly the same people coming in to buy the same things. Taking deliveries of different foods and replacing the purchased items on the shelves. Completing homework as time allows. Finally, it is time to clock out as the next shift comes in to deal with the daytime crowd.

You hit the bus, get to your room, swap out what you don’t need with what you do, toss your backpack on and head out to the Psych lab. You’re wired up and under the blanket. You feel a bit anxious about sleeping, however it is totally dark and the humming of the machines soon overtakes your thoughts and you fall asleep.

You awaken to hear the same guy as before asking you to talk.

Not opening your eyes you go through what happened.” There was a battle but not a real battle. Everyone is fighting but you aren’t really trying to kill each other. The weapons are fake. The magic is real but not seriously real. It reminds me of watching football practice. Each team wore their colors and are trying to beat up the others. The yellow team wins and everyone goes to a party. The blue haired leader lady said I had done a great job. She asks me to have tea and wants to talk about joining her house. Is she leading a fraternity? I woke up as I was helping clean up the mess after the party.”

“Tell me where this happened.” He asks.

“Well, the battle was on a big open field. There was a hill that someone could pull a lever and fire stuff at others. Scattered clumps of trees here and there, where some people would hide. It was a long walk to get to the field there. When walking I spoke with a grayish haired guy that would talk about stories he read about knights and do gooders. Oh, and on a big hill were three people with bright green hair. A man, woman and a younger shorter girl. They were watching. But they did not go to the party after. The party was in the dining area back at the school.”

You’re dressed, your hair feels sticky, so you put on a baseball cap with the university logo on it and head to your janitorial job. Mind numbing floor sweeping, mopping, and emptying trashcans fills your night. You are glad you had a good sleep at the psych lab, because it’s a short night tonight after getting off at 3am and having a class again at 8am the next day, you make it, like any other college student.

Grabbing something awful to eat after class, you head back to the third floor in the psych building for the last sleep of this week.

You wake up completely and totally freaked out. What a nightmare. Walking forever in the rain until you are soaked through, your skin all cold and wrinkly, and now you go into the creepy tower with the rest of the Blue Lions. You’re on the blue team. An older woman is the teacher, you wish you had the blue haired lady, she was so awesome.

Everyone creeps around and around going up higher in the tower while bad guys are firing arrows and popping out of hidden spaces. You remember using magic. You concentrated and this circle with marks on it appeared in your vision and next thing you know you shot lightning out of your fingers at a monster. A horrifying monster. It used to be a mean ugly guy but he changed and got big and evil looking, like a T-rex heavy on the claws and teeth. Everyone is fighting for their lives.

The worse part is one of them was his brother and had to get something back for his family. There was so much blood. Everyone was freaked out, especially the guy that killed his brother. It was horrible. By the time you finished talking to Linny, you were shaking and holding yourself. He just kept saying it was only a dream and told you that you would be fine.

You head to classes trying to best to concentrate.

Normally the job of polishing floors is nice. The machine does all of the work, you just change out the heads to clean then polish. The hallways here lead to rooms that have been reset for a large Art show presenting the student’s works. Many of the students are in your way, hauling in stands and setting up displays of their work. You keep looking down, studying the polishing machine. You can’t look at most of the artwork it, reminds you of the monsters you’ve dreamed of, or swords, or there is blood everywhere. What happened to fields of flowers? Paint a bowl of fruit or something bland.

You clock out at 3 am, head back to your room and crash burying yourself under a ton of blankets. One class today then you don’t have to be back to the university until 6pm. You need to hide in your bed. You are mentally exhausted. You need to sleep, so you down some cold medicine and it knocks you out.

Sleep is not kind. You aren’t in the lab, you are in the safety of your own bed. The dreams, okay, nightmares continue. Some girl is missing. Everyone is trying to find her. The Blue Lions leave to find some item and fight monsters, when you come back they found her, some other gal that was missing, and a creepy skeleton looking guy on a horse fought them in the basement. Ugh. You remember that head someone had on a stand in the art class, with the red glowing eyes. At least before you woke up you remember having tea with the blue haired professor and you agreed to join her group. She also gives you nice flowers for your birthday. You wake up just after tea was over.

You’ve never dreamed before. What the hell. You aren’t getting paid to dream at home. You don’t want this. What can of worms have they opened on you? You want your regular dreamless close your eyes, sleep, open them and go again. Not running miles and chasing horrible things and stabbing stuff and getting hurt and bleeding.

After class this morning the library is your destination today. Gotta get some references and info for a class. You stop by a quicky mart on the way. Need coffee. You’re not one of those fancy coffee kids, just creamer and go. You could care less what mountain they grew the coffee on as long as it is caffeine and keeping you awake.

Filling your cup with the elixir of consciousness, you see a girl with purple hair having problems with the whipped cream function of the expensive coffee and creamer dispenser.

You walk up to her. “Hey Bernie, want me to help?”

“Sure.” The girl says still punching buttons.

You fiddle with the machine knowing how temperamental they can be and get plenty of whip cream on top of her coffee.

She looks at me to say thank you, drops her books and screams. “Who are you? I don’t even know you!”

You shove a lid on her cup and put it in her hands. “Take your coffee.” Picking up her books, you stuff them in her arms. You head for the checkout. Your brain is confused too. You don’t know her, but she’s in the dreams and it’s her, Bernadetta.

Heading to the library you pull out your laptop and begin working on a project for class. You keep your head down, concentrate you keep telling yourself, but pieces of the dreams creep up on you every time you try to focus. Writing a few sentences, you click on an arrow on your laptop screen. You remember Bernie shooting arrows and she’s an amazing archer along with Ignatz. They love to paint. You wonder what it would look like if they did something together.

Concentrate. Fingers on the keyboard. The page is filling with text, the project is coming along. You need to find another book for reference. Signing into the library website you search for its location. You find the book and take it back to your seat. Flipping through it you find the section you want. Inside there is a postit note:

“Don’t bother with this. It’s wrong. See…” It lists a book you passed on, thinking this would be better. Perhaps the mysterious postit writer has been through this class and is saving everyone else from the same headaches. Nice. You get up and trade out books. This one does have exactly what you are looking for and your project speeds forward. You flip through the book once you’re finished with its contents and surprise! Another postit. “Bonus: Check out…”

You are enraptured, of course you go to find the next book. It is even better than the last one. The section related to your task has a note. “BTW, don’t quote that last book, Prof hates it. Do this instead. The curious get the rewards!” OMG. This is the greatest stuff. But the game is over, no more notes, you even check behind the last one. It did keep you entertained and focused though, a great help or you may have never finished this.

Saving everything and backing it up onto the cloud you have enough time to toss your stuff into the employee lockers and get your janitorial getup on. Baseball cap and earbuds in, it’s time for 8 hours of cleaning up after everyone else.

Building 3 is the party hub of the campus. At least they cleaned up some of the party decor, floor vents contain no cake, but they still leave a mess. You have to wash down the walls.

About 1:30am a dark haired guy with a ponytail comes in all frazzled asking if I’ve seen a red headed guy passed out somewhere. Nope. We both check the balcony and there he is out on a plastic chair. It is heartbreaker Sylvain.

You ask for help picking him up to get him to a standing position. You tell his buddy to hold him still. Throwing your right shoulder into his crotch you grab his left arm and throw it over your opposite shoulder. Sylvain is now up over your shoulder in a fireman’s carry.

His buddy gets the door and elevator for you. When the door opens there is a wheelchair close by and you dump Sylvain into it.

“How’d you know how to do that?” His friend asks.

“I’ve carried him before.” You answer as you help wheel Sylvain to the car. You help pour him into the front seat and reach over the seatbelt to his friend.

“Good luck. He’s your problem now.” You mutter as you turn around and head back to work.

At least this time he wasn’t bleeding you think. Wait. You’ve carried Sylvain before, during a fight. To get him to safety. That was Felix who came to get him. When you carried him, you were in leather gear and had more muscles. It reminds you of highschool wrestling. You did that for a few years. It felt so right doing that, but this college doesn’t have women’s wrestling, so you left it behind. It was how you got the job in janitorial because you are a female that can lift and move heavy weights, doing it the right way and not getting hurt.

Finishing your shift it is early Sunday morning. You go home, sleep, and dream.

You’re playing chess with Hubert. You’re beating him and he is pissed. He threatens you with cheating, distracting him, etc. You laugh at him. He’s always threatening someone or something.

Byleth comes in and ends the game. You head to a war meeting with the rest of the Black Eagles Strike force. Now that Byleth has returned Edelgard wants to recapture the great bridge at Myrddin.

After the meeting you head out to the training area for magic users. Warming up with a few Thunder spells, you work through Thoron then Bolting. The magic flowing through you feels amazing, you are one with the forces of nature.

You can feel the cold flowing from your fingertips as you cast blizzard at a target. Casting Fimbulvetr you watch as a solid ice grows around and surrounds the target.

Taking a few cleansing breaths, you then cast sagittae, the arrows breaking chunks of ice off of the target. Agnea’s Arrow finally strikes the ice, causing bright flames releasing steam into the area. The ice and target are obliterated.

You feel a good exhaustion come over you. Practice complete, you head to your quarters to complete additional research for some spells you have been working on.

The next moment you are on the bridge, fighting Alliance fighters and a few former classmates. Byleth has you stationed further away from the students, your goal is to take out a number of heavily armored ground troops and clear the way to Judith, leader of the enemy forces. Your fingers spark with electricity as your favorite spells are prepared. You remind yourself to keep your jubilant shrieks to yourself, in the last battle Hubert chastised you for frightening Bernadetta.

You wake up in your bed. This time you are not revulsed by the fighting. It felt thrilling. That scares you more than when you were upset and afraid. Things are so different in this dream. Byleth is a woman. But you’ve seen them before as a man. You know Edelgard was your enemy before, but this time you practically worship the ground she walks on. You remembered the singular focus you had in the dream. Nothing to distract you from your goal. You would forgo sleep, train well into the night.

Why were you playing chess with Hubert? Oh. He had tricked you, saying that chess is training of the mind to think more strategically. You thought he was trying to keep you out of the training grounds for a while. He’s always playing mother hen over everyone, sticking his nose in where it doesn’t belong.

Sitting up in your bed you shake your head. That was not part of the dream. It felt more like a memory. Are these dreams making you delusional now? You would like to get off this mental merry-go-round.

The next two weeks are filled with working nights, classes or sleeping during the day. Your bank account is getting fat. Your brain is not doing so well. Things from your dreams hit you during the day. Stopping at the cafeteria of the college, you look down at your tray of obviously poor choices. Mercedes voice is in your ear, suggesting that you eat more vegetables. You swear you can hear Manuela tell you to put the pie back on the shelf and get brussels sprouts, dark greens are much healthier for you.

You wear hoodies to class now that the weather is getting a bit colder. Tying the hood around your face to block your peripheral vision helps you concentrate on where you are going. Otherwise you feel like you recognize so many people.

Yesterday, while in the cafeteria you ate your oatmeal with extra raisins and apples, less sugar, thank you Marianne, when you heard a male voice over the rest of the throng. You knew it was Ferdinand. He was being boastful and incredibly proud of his stance on the subject, as a noble should be. It had to be him. Gulping down your food you grab your carton of 2% milk and head out the door to take the long way around to class.

Being a lab rat for the psy group seems to be getting easier. It is like you slip into an alternate universe in the past. Everyone there has the right names and faces, while here in the future, most of them don’t know themselves as you do.

Linny gets lazy about writing down everything. He simply records everything on a laptop and someone else can transcribe it. He sits in his chair, folds his arms and drifts off to sleep to the sound of your voice telling of your dreams.

It is getting harder to keep your accounts of what happens in the dreams simple. You know everyone’s names, the weapons, the enemies, the spells. You feel the need to translate them into something that relates to modern equivalents. You are also trying to be careful about revealing just how deep you are into these…are they just dreams? Memories? Recollections?

Finishing your recitation of the dream, Linhardt is asleep again. Linny!! It’s Linny now. You poke him in the ribs where you know he is ticklish, he quickly wakes and demands that you stop. You ask him to unhook the wires so you can head out. Taking your envelope, you head out to the ATM, deposit the cash then get ready for work.

Noting the amount of posters on the walls for the party in Student housing building 3, Claude is going to have a huge mess for you to clean up. Finishing work on the admin building you head over to whatever disaster awaits you after the party.

The common area and meeting room used for the event are not the worst you have seen. They even bagged up most of their trash. Hauling in a huge plastic dumpster on wheels, you load up the bags to make room to maneuver. Wiping down the tables and chairs you stack and move them to make mopping easier.

“Hey, hope things are better this time, Janitor.” Claude announces as he walks into the room.

“It’s nice. Thanks.” You mumble, surprised that he is here.

“I know we left a huge mess before, so I put Hilda in charge of cleanup.” He has that smirky grin on his face. It’s funny how some things never change. He’s still handsome too.

“I bet she was pissed that you’re making her work.” You say without thinking.

“She was.” Claude nods. “You know her?”

“I..uh..know some people in common.” You answer, wiping a table harder. Claude has always been intensely curious and you are now on his radar. Great.

“You look familiar. I can’t recall where I know you from.” Claude’s voice trails off as he puts his hand to his chin and thinks.

“I have pretty common looks. One head, two eyes with bags under them from lack of sleep. Same as most students.”

Claude sits cross-legged on one of the not too dirty tables, making himself at home. He is staring at you, his chin resting on his fist.

You finish the tables and chairs, except for the table that is occupied and sweep the largest chunks from the floor.

“Please tell me you are not majoring in sanitation or building maintenance.” Claude finally speaks.

“I thought you fell asleep.” You shake the broom onto the building pile of crumbs and debris. You answer him, “No.”

“Too simply dressed to be arts. Rocket scientist?” Claude asks, raising an eyebrow. “You hang out in the science and mathematics buildings.”

“Allergic to RP-1.” You answer, sweeping the crud into a dustpan and heading to the janitorial closet for a mop and bucket. As you emerge with your tools, Claude is in the hallway waiting for you.

“Thank you for an engrossing and in depth conversation.” He yawns and stretches his arms. “Next time don’t talk my ear off.”

Giving a happy sigh of relief you finish cleaning and reassembling the room into its standard configuration. Finishing for the night you grab a shower and head home for a nap and a homework filled day.

Sunday night at the gas station starts off with the normal routine. Delivery trucks unloading overpriced snacks, little old ladies holding up the line while they dig out exact change from their purse, kids dumping sodas on the floor. Past midnight the customers are few and far between. The door sounds and you look up from your bookwork. Some guy with messy red hair starts to come in, turns around and yells at whoever is in the car parked outside in the handicapped spot.

He turns around and faces you. First, you see the gun in his hands. Second, you look at his face and see Miklan.

“Hands up, Bitch. Listen or you are fucking dead.” He snarls, waving the gun.

You put your hands in the air alongside your head. A gunshot rings out, you hear the bullet hit the wall behind you, just over your head.

Miklan snickers, “Yup, loaded. Open the fucking cash register then get back.” He orders.

You open the till then push your back into the cigarettes displayed behind you. He climbs on the counter, reaching in the drawer, looking to grab the cash, but still pointing the gun at you. You keep your hands up, moving them in familiar positions as you softly mouth the words.

An incredibly bright flash of light goes off in front of you combined with a near deafening boom. Miklan’s body flies in the air, landing on his back on the floor. The entire store goes dark. The car outside flashes its lights, then backs up, crashing into a gas pump and speeds off.

You grab your cell phone out of your bag, thrilled when the screen lights up. Calling 911, they say they are on the way. In minutes police, a fire truck and ambulance arrive. They let you grab your belongings and take you outside away from the building under a nearby streetlight. You see camera flashes coming from the building as the ambulance hauls a stretcher inside. An officer speaks with you for a while, telling you to relax and saying a lot of nothing. They frequently ask if you are okay. Your voice shakes and you are visibly trembling from the experience.

After almost an hour they make you lock up the building (minus one Miklan) and take you to the station for questioning. You call your employer while riding in the car. They will handle the store, they are happy you are alive. Take off the rest of the week with full pay.

At the police station you tell them what happened. He came in, shot the gun, you opened the drawer and while he was taking the money something electrical must have happened because there was an electric flash and the whole building went dark. You try to describe the car that was parked outside. You never got a look at the driver.

The police thank you for your cooperation, giving you a cup of coffee, a Danish, and a ride home. You head up the stairs to your apartment and unlock the door. Turning on the light you notice an unmarked envelope on the floor. Nervously you open it. Inside is a slip of paper that says:

“We need to talk. -B.”

You fall onto your bed. You know the handwriting. Its them. Byleth is here, now. There is nothing else on the paper. No phone number. You have no idea what to do next. The only thing you can think of doing is wait. Since it is 3am, you may as well try to sleep. For seeing a dead body for the first time in this life, you are more relaxed about it than you feel you should be.

You wake up to your phone announcing a text message. You sit up and see you have 3 unread messages from an unknown number. You take a deep breath.

[8:00] Hey

[8:05] Wake up

[8:07] Wakey, wakey

I’m up. [8:07]

[8:08] Blue Prius outside, get in and take a ride

Every alarm in your head is going off telling you that this is a bad idea.

Give me a couple minutes to get ready. [8:08]

Stepping outside there is the Prius. As you arrive you open the door to see a huge man hunched over the wheel. He is so large part of him is in your seat. You close the door as you wonder how he got into the car in the first place. You move his elbow away to put on your seatbelt.

“Heya pal.” He says.

“Balthus?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“The one and only.” He smirks and hits the gas so hard you fly back in your seat.

He takes you downtown. You are glued to the seast, white knuckled, hanging on to the door handle as he drives like a maniac. You can’t say anything because your heart is in your throat. He suddenly stops in front of a large, unmarked brick building with a 16 above the door.

“Go on ahead, it’s going to take me a while to get out of here. Elevator is through the doors, fourth floor.” Balthus grunts as he opens the door and begins to unfold himself to get out of the tiny car.

As you step up to the door you hear it unlock. Going inside there is no doorman, no security, simply a hallway that leads to the elevator. Punching the up button, you wait. Checking your phone there are no new texts. The doors open and you go inside, hitting the 4thfloor button. You are shaking with excitement, nervousness, dread and who knows what else. As the doors open, they reveal an elegant and very tasteful office setting. Behind a high counter you can’t recognize the person sitting there until they stand up and smile widely at you, holding out his hand.

“Hi. Just call me Gavin. I’m sure you know me as-“

“Gatekeeper!” You gasp and laugh, shaking his hand warmly.

He hits a button on the desk and a voice on the intercom responds, “Okay.”

The door on the other side of the room clicks and opens.

“You can head on in now.” Gavin gestures to the slightly open door.

You walk to the other side of the reception desk and the door is open to a richly wood paneled hallway. The door on the other end of this hall opens as you approach. You pull the door the rest of the way open, stepping in to see Byleth sitting in a large comfortable office chair and Yuri partially seated on the top of the desk on the opposite side.

“Welcome to the fold.” Yuri holds his arms out wide.

You rush over to give him a huge hug, like you would any dear friend. Because he was? Is? You’re not sure, but you hug him anyway.

“I’m sure you have many questions.” Byleth folds his hands on his desk and looks at you, waiting for your response.

“I don’t get a hug?” You ask, holding your arms out.

Byleth stands and steps around the desk and hugs you, then looks down at you. “I apologize. I am not certain what you know and what you remember.”

“A lot. This is going to take a while.” You answer. “Can we drop the formal setting and sit somewhere comfy? With you behind the desk it’s like we’re back in school.”

“I’ll get us some coffee.” Yuri offers. “Cream only, right?”

“Yup.” You chime as Byleth leads you to an overstuffed corner couch in front of large windows that offer a great view of the city. You take a seat at one end and take your coffee, placing it on the end table next to you. Yuri and Byleth sit beside each other on the other end.

“So you two are together this time?” You ask.

“Yeah.” Yuri smiles as he takes Byleth’s hand in his own.

“Awesome. My favorite.” You nod.

“Just how much do you remember?” Yuri asks, tilting his head.

“I remember fighting alongside each of the houses. If I was not in the house when Byleth led them, they recruited me. Byleth was a male once, a female twice. Three times altogether.” You begin, then frown. “Strange. None of them are like the history books.

Yuri and Byleth look at each other for what seemed like a long time. Yuri bends over and hits a button on the telephone on the table.

“Gavin, order lunch to be brought in and make reservations for dinner. Cancel any remaining appointments for today. Thanks”

“Okay. Start from the beginning. Let’s say Blue Lions. What is your first memory with them?”

“I was staying at an inn, Remire Village. I just made it to the dining area and was stuffing my face full of food when Jeralt comes in all pissed off because these kids show up and they’re in trouble.” You begin. They let you keep talking. Yuri tents his fingers at times, mostly sits back sipping his coffee.

Byleth is spellbound as you begin. He stares into your face like he is reliving your memories with you. Well, they did live them with you. They were your best friend.

You tell them of the battle with Miklan, finding Flayn, Remire, the fall of Jeralt, the defeat of Solon, the battle of Garreg Mach, the five years of being without Byleth, reuniting for the Millennium festival, Dimitri’s madness, the battle at the bridge and Dedue’s return, the nightmare that was Gronder, Merceus and Enbarr.

You then go silent. You look at Yuri and Byleth. You grimace for a moment.

“BylethmarriedDimitri.” You cough into your hand. “I don’t remember much after that.”

Byleth sits back on the couch. “Fascinating.”

“You never told me that-“ Yuri begins to say until Byleth gives him a look that obviously says now is not the time for this.

A beep sounds from the telephone.

“Time for lunch.” Byleth says as he stands up.

You leave through a different door and are led to a dining room. The food smells delicious.

Over lunch you begin your questioning. “Okay, so was this all real? I know you merged with Sothis and everything, convenient to leave that out of the history books, but this actually happened? It’s not just dreams. I began to remember while dreaming, then it moved on to remembering while I was awake. The memories flooded my brain like a tidal wave.”

“Yes. It was real. It did happen. Several times.” Byleth answers you without hesitation.

“You kept reliving that part of your life over and over until you arrived at the best solution? That is fucking amazing. Hawking would've loved it.” You shake your head in near disbelief. “You were the archbishop, but the church isn’t around any more. I guess you just let that go away on its own. What are you doing now?”

Yuri comments about how well the meat is spiced and that they should order this dish again. You interpret this as new subject time.

“There was no mention of dragons or Agarthans in the history books. Did that happen?” You ask quietly.

Byleth nods, “Yes. It did. It was a fantastic combined effort to take them down. We agreed it was best left unwritten.”

The food is quite delicious. You try to think of more pleasant things to talk or ask about, your head spinning with this revelation before you.

“Who else remembers?”

“Just you.” Yuri answers.

“You gotta be shitting me.” Your jaw drops nearly to the table.

“Only you.” Byleth nods.

“Is anyone else supposed to remember?” You’re happy about these two, but you also hoped to speak to a few others. Reminisce about old times? Something like that.

Yuri explains, “Well, in the past we tried a few times, reincarnation is a thing actually. Most of you appear close to the same time. We had tried different ways of bringing through their memories. The problem was that when some remembered they mentally crashed. Now with counseling and medications being as advanced as they are we thought we would try again.”

“So then I volunteer to be a lab rat and something clicked…” Your voice drifts off as you recall the early dreams. .

Yuri continues, “When we read the reports of your dreams we were very excited. What we weren’t’ prepared for is how quickly it awoke the memories in you. We had no idea how you would respond.”

“You are a secretive creature, keeping mostly to yourself.” Byleth nods.

“We’ve been spying on you here and there.” Yuri grins. “You are so damn boring. Anyway, hiring you at the university made it easier to eavesdrop on your conversations.”

“What about the gas station incident.” You have a puzzled look on your face.

“That was all you.” Byleth shakes his head. “We had no idea that you could retain so much knowledge that you could actually cast spells. Crests have pretty much faded from existence. There are probably a few flickers here and there but nothing manifesting.”

You head back to the comfy couch, a fresh cup of coffee in hand. “So what now?”

“Well you can go on with your best life. You can work with us. What do you want to do?” Byleth shrugs. “We want to give your soul some closure. Maybe to be able to move on? Not like some creepy ghost or anything.”

Yuri winks, “Hey what about your love life? Do you remember much about it?”

You scrunch your face remembering what a mess it was. “Yes, I do. Ugh. I fell for Claude but had no chance because of supersexy female Byleth. I chased after Felix who was a good friend, but he was in love with Sylvain for forever. Then omg, can’t believe I am saying this, Hubert, and well, he was all over Ferdinand.”

They both look at you with a slight frown.

“I don’t know what order Byleth went through the different houses. I never remembered from one experience to the next. Now that I remember them all, I can certainly see what I didn’t before. A whole lot of ‘love is blind’ going on. Wanting something so much you can’t see the signs blocking your way.”

“How about now?” Yuri has that sly look about him. What a gossip.

“Working two jobs trying to pay for college and not be buried in debt, I have not dated. Ever.” You shrug. “It isn’t fair to someone else, we would have almost no time together. I work nights 7 days a week then school and homework. There is no time to breathe or eat, much less look for love.”

“Well, Byleth is unavailable.” Yuri moves a bit closer to him to assert his ownership. “You know Claude is quite curious about you, ‘Janitor’.” He taunts.

You roll your eyes. “What part of my life don’t you spy on?”

The three of you talk about fond memories, precious victories, even recalling a few of the tragic events.

“So you’ve poked a hole in my brain and all of my memories are out. What would you like to see me do? Wow. I feel like I just dropped a card into the Advice Box.” You laugh.

Byleth, who loved to answer these, sits up. “You should finish your degree and get your Masters.”

“Masters?” You groan, “I am dying right now, you want more? Degree, Masters, required internships and I’m already behind not being able to take things on full boat. I’ll be graduating when I’m 40.”

“Well, there’s a scholarship you may be interested in.” Yuri has his sneaky sneak face on. “You qualify of course. Pays for your schooling, housing, and monthly stipend. Funded by the Eisner foundation. Very private lot they are. More of a don’t call us, we’ll call you kind of group.”

You fall back onto the couch in shock. “W-why are you doing this?” trying to choke back tears.

“The usual.” He drawls. “Finally being able to catch up with old friends. Thank them for everything they’ve done. We would not be here without you. Hoping maybe you want to hang out with us. Maybe awaken a few others?”

“This is all beyond belief.” You shake your head. “If you asked me six months ago that I would be here with you two, talking over past lives. Wow. Do Seteth and Flayn come and visit?”

“They’re around.” Yuri gestures just vaguely enough to let you know yes, but that is not readily available information at this time.

“You are not planning on forming a vigilante superhero group or something weird like that are you?” You frown.

Yuri pouts. “You don’t want to be Lightning Lady or the silver bolt?”

“No.” you answer resolutely. “Masks freak me out these days. You should’ve seen some of the stuff in the art show. Made the Death Knight look like a fairy princess.”

Byleth stands. “We deserve a great dinner, care to join us at Dedue’s?”

“He’s here? Cooking? You bet!” You realize this is the beginning of something amazing.

#fe3h #feth #fire emblem three houses #fe3 x reader #m!byleth #Yuri Leclerc #fe3h fanfic #fe3h fanfiction

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