#workaholism

[moonage-daydreamy]

referring to a research paper published in the year 1964 for my research got me feeling like a priestess or a young protagonist on a quest wearing a heavy cloak over her shoulders as she refers to an ancient scroll for prophecies, clues or anything that can help her in her most desperate hour, written in a nearly-undecipherable script in the light of a lamp. do with that what you will.

[monalisha1328]

"Discover how the Moon in the 10th House influences your public persona, emotional depth, career choices, and leadership style."

Visit now : Moon in 10th House: How It Shapes Your Public Image

[skullchicken]

The Step-Zero-Problem

Sometimes when trying to climb out of a mental health hole and seeking advice or giving other people advice on how to climb out of a mental health hole, the advice just plain won't work.

Which is frustrating! Especially if it seems like good advice (and it even might be!)! And personally, I think sometimes the problem isn't even necessarily that it's the wrong advice, sometimes the problem is that it's secretly Step Five and not Step Zero.

To give an example:

"Write down your emotions three times a day" is, generally, good advice when you want to figure out what's up with you over a longer period of time (e.g. to figure out if your emotions change with your menstruation cycle if you have one. If certain people or situations tend to provoke the same reactions in you, stuff like that).

But what goes unexamined is that to do that, you need to understand your emotions to begin with. You need to have the courage to feel your emotions. You need the scheduling ability and executive function to put down words reliably. So you would have to learn what lack of skill keeps you from that first. Putting your emotions into a diary is like, Step 3, not Step 0.

At some point I recognized I had anxiety and workaholism (shout-out to past me sitting in the waiting room for my psychologist's office whom I visited for guidance on how to relax and spending every moment doing flash cards on calculus, a subject I did not study and seeing nothing wrong with that). And my solution wasn't "recognize your self-worth as a person isn't tied to your productivity", it was more like...

recognize your bf stops working at some point of the day, unlike you -> start having a pause at the end of the day because you want to spend time with bf -> oh wow I'm slightly less anxious -> now that I am less anxious I'm realizing how anxious I am, this sucks -> hm, is what I'm doing actually an effective use of my time? I haven't been that successful for how much work I put in -> wait, if I want to be successful to be happy but sacrifice my happiness right now but success won't guarantee happiness... -> okay maybe it's okay if I don't work as hard as I do...?

... spread out over multiple years. I am now able to better disconnect my self-worth form my productivity, but it's like, step 20 (and still ongoing, btw).

Mental health is a skill made up of many smaller skills. To some these skills come easily, to others it doesn't, some people have a deeper hole than others to climb out of and some people are actively getting pelted by rocks while they do it.

I'm not sure how to solve it because it's a problem that only becomes apparent retrospectively. Still, I think going "okay, but is this even Step Zero for me?" could be a worthwhile thing to ask.

[theskyweshare]

Someone has to

[biblebloodhound]

Work and Family (Psalm 127)

There is a fine line between hard work that provides and enriches, and lonely work that is frenetic and fueled by anxiety about the future.

The Carpenter’s Son, Holy Cross Chapel, Houston, Texas Unless the Lord builds the house,    those who build it labor in vain.Unless the Lord guards the city,    the guard keeps watch in vain.It is in vain that you rise up early    and go late to rest,eating the bread of anxious toil,    for he gives sleep to his beloved. Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord,    the fruit of the womb a…

[thiefpodcast]

The hardest part, I'm finding, is that when I look at the clock and see that it reads 10:35 p.m., is recognizing that part of me who isn't yet satisfied with the volume of production for the day - a part of me who I've always seen as a powerful, motivating friend - as a kind of devil. #workaholism

[jrtelfer]

On Less by Andrew Sean Greer: Can an Insecure Person be Loved?

On Less by Andrew Sean Greer published in two thousand seventeen:Can an insecure person be loved?Andrew Sean Greer is an author who has written a variety of fictional stories. His two thousand seventeen Pulitzer Prize winning book Less articulates the commonplace emotional tumult of a middle-aged man named Arthur Less as he struggles to feel secure in his life and relationships. Insecure is an…

[glitterypin]

Yesterday's therapy session

There was a lot of talk about how I need to balance work and self-care because I've been working so much and neglecting myself, in the sense that I don't go outside at all for days in a row, I don't cook proper meals and I take very little time to myself every day, I just put work above everything else and when I don't work I feel guilty about it.

And then I had to admit the hard stuff. That deep down I like being swamped with work because it makes me feel useful, like there is a purpose to me. That I'm not very good at taking care of myself even when I don't work at all, so at the very least this gives me a very good excuse for my neglect. That I'm scared to let up the pressure because I don't trust myself to keep the balance and I'm afraid that if I take a day to myself, I will lose focus and stop working as hard. That it's better to feel like shit about work than the rest of me. If I let work take over, I don't get to feel a lot of other things except tired and occasionally angry. I don't have time to look at myself and feel sad.

And now I will box all these worrying revelations about myself right up and start working because there is just so much to do.

[stinglesswasp]

Self-care (part 2)

[steelsuit]

Wavewave sketch, a casual moment. 💙

[monalisha1328]

"Discover how the Moon in the 10th House influences your public persona, emotional depth, career choices, and leadership style."

Visit now : Moon in 10th House: How It Shapes Your Public Image

[zanephillips]

ALAN RITCHSON Workaholics 5.03 "Speedo Racer"

[qweenofurheart]

timothy’s jokes don’t always land

[angsty-violet]

Week 28 - WA Serenities

[itlearns]

I sighed up for more work that I won't get paid for. God when will capitalism end.

[maybmila]

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I might be dragging this out but I like them so idc!