#words stolen directly from her by the way

[makingqueerhistory]

":')))))))) you realise that gen AI is available to everyone though right??? Queer creators can use it just as much as anyone else??? I just don't understand this post... It really feels like a cheap way to get on the 'AI Bad's bandwagon, and coming from such a thoughtful and insightful creator that's incredibly disappointing... It's okay to not comment on subjects you're not an expert in y'know...?"

Y'all know the drill, I am replying to this publicly but that is not an invitation to send any negative messages to the person I am replying to.

Anyways, let me start by saying that the original context of the post you're replying to is discussing an event where a queer org used generative AI to steal an interview with Keri Hulme. So let's start there. To be clear I don't even know if the original interviewer was queer so let's put the identities of stealer and stolen from to the side. I want to explain the harm done in this example specifically and I hope this is illustrative of what harm generative AI can (and does) do.

The original place I saw generative AI was a queer org that explicitly says they are using generative AI "for good", and as a way to bring more queer history to light. So let's take them at their word, and assume they are not out to cause harm. This is the best example of generative AI that I can imagine, so I hope that makes it clear that I am not coming at this issue from bad faith in any way.

Here is the harm they are causing:

Decontextualizing and rephrasing an interview: I am not going to pretend that I am an expert in academic best practices, but I do believe one thing, if a person is speaking on their own identity and lived experience, it is always much better to directly quote than it is to rephrase. As I read this source, I initially didn't know that it was AI, and I was already upset. An interview that is widely available on the internet with no pay wall, was poorly sourced and made more vague than it was in the initial text. By creating one degree of seperation between the original words of A WRITER (whose literal job was largely based in choosing the right words to describe experiences they had) harm is already done. It makes vague what was once clear, and removes Keri Hulme's voice from her own narrative.

The original interviewer is not paid, or given proper recognition: I get it, sometimes just copy pasting an interview doesn't feel transformative enough, but something that one would learn if they worked in the queer history field and weren't a literal robot rehashing what has already been said, is that not everything needs to be transformed. In those cases, we give credit to the person who said the original words (in this case Keri Hulme), and the interviewer who facillitated the conversation (in this case Shelley Bridgeman). This case (again a best case scenario), takes the attention and byline away from the original interviewer and gives it to an AI.

The original publisher of this story is deinsentivised from paying interviewers in the future: The original publisher of this interview has ads on their website. As a person who also has ads on their website, taking an article like this and rephrasing it for no good reason (the orginal word count was not prohibitive and the rephrasing did not make it more readable), takes money from the publisher. It's pennies, but it's also removing numbers could have been used to justify further interviews with asexual people and archiving of asexual stories. The org that stole from this publication does not interview people themselves so the money and numbers that could have gone to continue to preserve asexual stories goes to stealing them instead.

These are just the active harms that I saw in this specific case. As you said, I am not an expert in generative AI, and will not be speaking as if I am. But I will say that asking me not to speak out on active harm that is being caused in queer history spaces, is disrespectful to my many years in this field.

To illustrate this even clearer: if you were a patron, you would know I recently took down an old article. I have been rereading and editing our backlist of articles, and I found one that no longer fit my standards of sourcing. My standards had recently raised due to a video made by HBomberguy about someone in the queer history space who was stealing from other creators. I watched this video not as a work project, but because I watch most of HBomberguys videos, and this one made me think more critically about sourcing. An AI can't do that. All an AI has is what has been inputted, and it is right now impossible to input every available peice of information about ethics into an AI and get a coherent ethical basis on which it will function.

It is a distinctly human trait to absorb information and change in that way. AI can rephrase information that already exists, steal it, recontextualize it even, but it cannot create something altogether new.

Do I believe that there one day might be an ethical use for Generative AI? Maybe. Do I believe that coming into a queer history space, stealing the words of a Maori asexual author, rephrasing them, and giving the original interviewer and publication no form of compensation for their work, is accomplishing that? No.

On a more personal note: I am coming at this issue with a bias. As a queer history creator, I do not want AI in my space, because it is literally damaging to my financial prospects. It has been like pulling teeth to try and get patrons in the current state of the global economy. I don't blame anyone from that, but I feel very disrespected that I am being asked to compete with a machine now. Not only that, but I am being asked to shut up and be fine with it? No, absolutely not. I cannot and will not stay quiet as space that I have fought tooth and nail to create in mainstream discussions is taken and given to AI.

AI was not supporting me when I was sent gore to try and scare me off of discussing queer history. A person did that. AI was not there to tell me I had written too many sad stories, and I needed some happy endings to remind myself of the good in the world. A person did that. AI was not there when I was being harrassed for supporting and including asexual stories on my website. A person did that.

And after all that, I am being asked to lie down and take it when my ability to pay the people who supported me in those ways, is being threatened. Nope. Not going to happen.

An AI doesn't have to make rent. An AI doesn't understand what it feels like to have to stop holding their wife's hand in public. An AI didn't get calls from people needing comfort in reaction to the election. Pay me for my work, and get this AI nonsense out of my face.

[occasionallysiren]

chat do we remember that one pyrite and captain flower fic i was writing last month? WELL I FINISHED IT!!!!!!!!! its like 1.4k yippeeeeee

ALSO I DREW A BIT FROM IT!!!!! /sillydram

"Oi, helmsman--"

"That's helmsman and quartermaster to you, dock worker."

"Sure, whatever--"

"But please, call me Pyrite."

Pyrite flashes the dock worker his most cunning smile. The man's easily double his age and just grimaces at him. Unperturbed, he goes to open his mouth again but Calypso knocks him upside the head as she walks down the gangplank.

"Hey." Pyrite frowns at rubs at the back of his head, dock worker all but forgotten. "Calypso--" he jumps the railing of The Undertow, not even bothering with the gangplank that's barely a foot to the right, and lands cleanly on his feet before stumbling to catch up with Calypso, whose combination of power walking and knowledge of how to move through a crowd has put him almost a quarters way down the city's crowded docks already.

Pyrite eventually catches up to them, a couple of silver richer, at the fork between the leftmost side of the docks and what seems like the beginning of the market district.

"Don't forget we're supposed to run this errand together, Calypso," Pyrite teases, brushing past her and into the market district, "you can't leave me in the dust this time."

"You'll have to walk faster, then."

Pyrite rolls his eyes and very pointedly walks directly in front of them.

----

Pyrite's eyes dance from stall to stall as he and Calypso walk through the packed street, squeezing past fellow pirates, commoners, hagglers, and more dockworkers. He lags behind them a bit. Calypso's not one for window shopping, Pyrite's learnt this evening, she knows what she's getting and where and how to get it, nothing else really matters in this case. Pyrite is quite the opposite.

His gaze once again catches, this time on a colourful little stall with wooden slats as the overhang, selling flowers. They're gorgeous, and his heart aches, just a bit. Captain would like them.

He slows to almost a stop, people in a rush brushing past his shoulder, as he weighs his options in his head, finger absently tapping against the handle of his dagger at his hip.

Calypso vanishes further into the crowd up ahead. Stolen silver pieces burn a hole in his pocket. The shopkeep notices his lingering and gives him a friendly, beconning wave. Pyrite bites at the edge of his lip, glancing once, twice, between the back of Calypso's head, getting steadily further away, and the blooming flowers.

The bouquet doesn't end up costing much, maybe a gold or two, but Pyrite smiles so sweetly and says they're a gift so that it only costs all of his recently stolen silver (like all of the money to his and the ship's name wasn't stolen).

He pays happily and bids the shopkeep farewell. He holds the bouquet close to his chest as he hurries after Calypso, a warm feeling crawling its way up his throat, making his face break out into a grin that he doesn't even bother to try and smother.

Calypso's no more than a clank of a sword in the wind at this point, but Pyrite knows where they'll be easy enough. And, in fact, when he finally finds the old stone storefront in this twisting kelp forest of a town, Calypso's stepping outside, package tucked under his arm.

Her eyebrows raise as they spot the flowers and Pyrite ignores her in favour of giving a nod in greeting.

"Got the goods?"

"Yes, I have it," he says and Pyrite smiles, relieved. Calypso walks down the stone steps and follows Pyrite's lead back through the swerving streets.

"The uh... guy didn't give you any trouble did they?" Pyrite asks as they walk, not so subtly eyeing her sword over the flowers blocking half his vision.

"No, it went smoothly."

"Good! That's good." Pyrite stumbles over his words slightly as they tumble out. He pretends that they didn't.

"How come you're so jittery?"

Pyrite snorts. "I'm not jittery," he says, like a liar.

Calypso thankfully doesn't elaborate and they walk the next 30 seconds in silence.

"The Captain will love them," she says, as if it were the only option. 

"Who said they were for Captain?"

"...I'm not even going to bother answering that."

"Rude."

They make it to the start of the market district in one piece, the bouquet only slightly jostled and Pyrite makes a sound in the back of his throat, it sounds an awful lot like he's thinking something through. 

"Mm, wonder what that dock worker wanted."

"The one you flirted with?"

"I wasn't flirting."

"Pyrite."

He tightens his grip on the flowers in his hands, paper scrunching slightly before he catches himself. "Shut up."

"...He was probably just asking for the Captain."

"...Who?"

"The dock worker."

"Oh. Probably."

The crowd around them surges as the docks come into view, the shouts from working people drowning out whatever conversation the two of them might have, and Pyrite might normally pay attention to them, but he's a bit... distracted.

His heart tugs as he spots The Undertow, half hidden behind others sails and ships. If he squints, he can see Captain on the deck.

Nervous. 

Why is he nervous? 

Pyrite's known Captain for most of his life, four years together, now. Three and a half with just the two of them on The Fathom, traipsing across the seas, and now a couple of months with The Undertow and more people on their crew then Pyrite's known in his entire life, which isn't saying much, but hey, the point still stands.

They kissed, once. Both of them had vowed to never speak of it again. Captain hated it. Pyrite thought they weren't half bad for just a moment before he saw their face.

"I'll go report the package to the Captain," Calypso says, slightly more audible, as they step aboard and Pyrite nods.

"Right."

There's very few people on the top deck, just him, Atti, and Egret, with the both of them fiddling with the sails and rigging. The rest of the crew must be below deck or with Captain in their quarters, Pyrite figures, only three of them left for errands today, so the rest are treating this as down time.

He doesn't follow Calypso, instead Pyrite hovers by the railing of the ship, facing the open sea, fiddling with a pink petal with his thumb and forefinger. He shouldn't be nervous, but for some reason his heart feels like it's going to beat out of his chest and his stomach feels like it's going to explode, full of wriggling fish.

Pyrite smothers a groan in his throat and unceremoniously buries his face in the flowers. A couple of petals break off into his hair and drift away. 

It seems dumb to say it, but Pyrite really hasn't done anything extravagant for Captain outside of buying them this bouquet. He should change that. Gift things to them more often. He thinks they'd like it.

"Pyrite?"

Pyrite jumps, nearly dropping the bouquet in his haste to look up. It's Captain, because who else if not them?

"We need to get ready to leave port," they say immediately. "The High Flags are catching on to us."

"Shit, really?"

Captain nods, face steely. "Help out with Atticus on the rigging and then get ready to steer us out of here the second Cecile is back on deck."

Pyrite nods, a little teasingly, but no less meaningful. "Roger that, Captain." Captain offers him a small, mocking scoff and he grins.

They turn away and Pyrite's about to do the same to find Atti but the bouquet that he's forgotten makes itself forefront in his mind again, stopping his hands from reaching out for the rigging. 

"Oh." Captain turns back around, brows furrowed. "Right. H-here." Pyrite thrusts the bouquet into Captain's hands. "I bought them. They're for you."

Captain looks at the bouquet, head tilted down so he can't see their expression. Some traitorous part of him says to run. He ignores it. 

"You... bought me flowers?" Pyrite nods.

Captain considers the flowers for a moment, fish bubble up in Pyrite's chest.

They pluck a single flower from the bouquet and reach up to tuck it behind his ear, pressing a kiss to his cheek as they do so. Freckles pop and bloom where Captain kisses him as they step away. Pyrite ears flick and his nervous smile morphs into an admittedly far more lovesick one.

"Thank you," they say, taking a step away, coat moving around them in the soft wind, dislodging a petal or two.

"Of course," he says softly.

[kate-apologist]

hey guys not to brag but my girlfriend is obsessed with me (and i'm obsessed w her) and it's amazing i love her

[yueebby]

𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 – 𝐠𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮

synopsis. period piece, forbidden love

contents. ooc, angst (eventual comfort), yandere emperor!gojo, lovesick!gojo, servant!reader, obsessive behavior (5k words of gojo pining), lowkey unreliable narrator, time skips

notes. inspired by the apothecary diaries and this post. loosely based off of ancient japan (this is basically its own world). this is the prologue to the series where everything can generally be read as a standalone ! (fic under the cut)

series masterlist

emperor!gojo who broke a hundred year tradition to take you as his only lover. despite your role as a concubine, everyone in the imperial palace knew he was going to make you his empress.

emperor!gojo who had not meant to fall in love with you, but you have managed to somehow charm him. a man that single handedly brought his own clan to power– weak in your hands. hushed whispers around the imperial palace call you a witch, but they never reach your ears. not as long as he is alive.

emperor!gojo shamelessly showering you with love. he pays no mind that it is highly frowned upon, he will have his hands on you every time you are in the same room.

emperor!gojo who is livid when there is an attempt on your life. his usual ocean eyes turned to blue flames like a wild animal. servants and clan elders alike scurry under his gaze. the assailant is taken care of by his own hands. 

emperor!gojo who is forced to satiate the clan elders into submission by taking in another concubine from an influential clan. he insists to you that it is no more than a political formality. who are you to meddle into imperial affairs?

emperor!gojo who can’t help himself and ends up falling for another girl who his clan elders demand he must wed. she is much younger than you, beautiful and is well bred; a perfect match for the emperor. 

emperor!gojo whose frequent visits to you come to an end, forcing you to move from his chambers and back to the consorts’ pavilion.

There was a time when you had everything. A place to call home in the Inner Court, a beautiful palace with anything you could have ever dreamed of. Servants, admirers, riches; you had it all. But what was most dear to you was your lover– a man so divine, many thought he was directly blessed by the hand of God. It was too good to be true. A woman of lowly birth like you, paid as homage for the sins of her clan against the new reigning family of Japan, becoming a concubine of the Heavenly Emperor. 

You remembered it all too well.

His brilliant mind that once strategized the downfall of the previous imperial family, calculating its next move in a game of Go against you. You can still remember the shock on his face upon his first defeat. The way he would keep you from leaving to fulfill your other duties until he was satisfied, eyebrows furrowing as he struggled to keep up with you. No matter how hard he tried, you remained victorious. It drove him mad.

You remembered the stolen kisses while you made your rounds in the Inner Palace with your ladies in waiting. It took you quite a while to learn to tune out their giggles every time the Emperor dips you down to taste your lips in broad daylight. The grin that he wore after was enough to leave your legs weak.

Above all, you'll always remember how safe you felt in his strong, reassuring embrace. You’ve seen him train, and it was no wonder the Gojo clan rose to power so quickly as a result of one man. The way he wields the katana is unlike any man on the face of the earth. Those arms were your sanctuary. You can still vividly recall the attempt on your life, orchestrated by a traditionalist incensed by the Gojo clan's swift ascent to power. The emperor, outraged by the assassination plot, personally saw to the man's execution. 

However, the damage was done and it caused great strain in the Imperial Palace.

To appease the old geezers that were forced out of power, Emperor Gojo had taken in another concubine from one of the Big Three families of Japan— a beautiful Zenin girl. Her flowing, silky hair and saccharine voice enchanted everyone in the Inner Palace, captivating the Emperor, most of all. She was younger than you, with perkier breasts and soft skin that was enough to capture the attention of any man. 

You don’t blame her for taking the Emperor’s attention away. Though you would be a liar if you said it did not hurt you. Deep down, you cannot deny the agony that sears your soul, realizing that the only semblance of love you've ever tasted remains unrequited. With a heavy heart, you resign yourself to the bitter truth of your existence, knowing all too well the cruel confines of your place in this world.

You were merely a pawn, and the Emperor did not want you anymore.

That was made clear months later when you received a scroll from the Emperor’s advisor, a man you were once well acquainted with, Geto Suguru. 

“What is this?” You asked him quietly, your heart silently begging the Heavens it was not what you had suspected it to be. The black haired man in front of you does not respond, and you feel something pierce into your heart. Despite being a part of the Emperor’s court, it was rare that you received letters directly.

Your suspicions were confirmed when your shaky hands finally opened the scroll to read the familiar kanji written by your beloved.

“The Emperor decrees the termination of your role as concubine." Geto spares you the trouble of deciphering the characters neatly written in ink. “In his mercy, you are to be moved as a servant in the Outer Court. You are to serve the Imperial Physician.”

What you remember most was the silence. The Emperor’s silence after the stressful months you had to endure alone. The silence shared between you and Geto when you were forced out of the Imperial Court. All that was left was the sound of your heart breaking and the wood creaking underneath Geto’s feet as he walked away. Satoru never bothered to see you off.

Seasons change and by the next spring, you’re busying your hands with collecting herbs for the Imperial Physician, a man by the name of Yaga Masamichi. He is a kind man, pitying you enough to fill your days with laborious tasks to prevent your mind from wandering to thoughts of the unfortunate turn your life has taken. He is even generous enough to supply you with a new wardrobe of clothing full of light fabrics, a luxury you thought you would lose in the Outer Palace. Though the initial humiliation has worn off with the passing of time, you are still constantly reminded of your fall from grace.

Looks by the mix of condolences and disgust are shared when you roam the walls of the Outer Palace. You hear whispers of how the Emperor is infatuated with his newer, shinier toy. It is enough for you to swallow the bile that makes its way up your throat. 

“It is no wonder the Emperor tossed away a wildflower like her in exchange for a cherry blossom. He needed someone to rival his own greatness.” A particular comment stopped you in your tracks. Your grip tightens on the woven basket in your hand filled with medicinal herbs you had collected earlier that morning. 

“Have some pity on her.” Another eunuch whispers. Your breath falters, but you continue your walk with your head held up. You’ve heard the rumors. The beautiful Zenin Himiko has charmed the Emperor enough that there are rumors of a royal marriage to come. It doesn’t help that the Emperor has remained monogamous to her since he had banished you from his court.

A comforting hand links itself with your arm, “Ignore them. I saw Yaga shooing away a crowd of suitors that were lined up for your hand.” Ieiri Shoko scoffs, secretly sending you a wink. She has been studying medicine under Yaga for nearly a decade, eagerly accepting you as a companion upon your arrival. You feel your cheeks heat up at her flattery. You know she’s just trying to make you feel better.

Although your beauty never faded, it seems as though you are no longer sought after in the marriage market. Not that it matters, considering the new life that you’re living. You’re now a personal servant to the Imperial Physician, leaving no time to worry about suitors and such. Your days are filled with good work— tending to Yaga’s cherished garden that he has sowed for decades rather than frivolous games and attending the Emperor. It may not be glorious compared to your former life, but it was the best a woman of your status could receive. 

When you and Shoko return to Yaga’s estate, you’re surprised to see the somber look that has settled on his aging features. Shoko makes an offhand comment that he will age faster if he keeps scowling. She receives a scolding.

“Is something the matter?” You gently place down your basket full of herbs. 

Yaga sighs, calloused hands rolling up a scroll with the Imperial Seal. “It appears the Emperor’s consort has fallen ill and His Majesty commands my presence in the Imperial Palace.” 

The Royal Consort. The woman that dethroned you: Zenin Himiko.

“I understand.” You nod, maintaining your composure while two sets of eyes scrutinize you with keen observation. It was only natural the emperor wanted the best doctor in the country for his object of affection. “Shall I close up the shop while you journey into the Inner Palace?” 

Yaga shakes his head, “That won’t be necessary. I will have Shoko act as my stand-in.” He remarks with a quick glance in her direction “You, on the other hand, will accompany me.” 

Your eyes widen. 

“You cannot be serious.”

“Typically, one of my apprentices would accompany me on such journeys. However, now that I have acquired a personal attendant,” He gestures towards you with a flick of his hand, “It shall no longer be necessary.” As he speaks, he runs his hand absentmindedly through his well trimmed beard, gaging your reaction.

"I—" Your words falter and fade away. "Yes, sir," you respond, inclining your head in deference, a stark reminder of your place. While you may have concealed it, you were seething with humiliation. Returning to the Imperial Palace after a year of exile to serve the woman who took your spot was mortifying beyond measure.

“Very well. Pack enough for one week’s time. I doubt the Emperor would have called me if this was a light ailment.” He says gruffly. “We leave at dawn.” His gaze shifted to the horizon outside.

1 YEAR AGO

“Your Grace,” You purr at the feeling of his large hands scratching your head. 

The smile that rests on his face is almost ravenous. “Yes, my love?”

“I think—“ A soft sigh escapes your lips when he presses on your weak points. “I should g-go.”

His ministrations stop almost immediately. 

“Go?” His eyes peer down at you in his lap. It is now that you realize the weight of his piercing gaze. “Have I commanded you to leave yet?”

“No, but—”

“Then you have nowhere else to be.” He huffs, unintentionally puffing his cheeks out. You stifle the giggle that nearly escapes from your lips. He vaguely resembles a pufferfish– or so you think. Though you’ve never seen the round creature with your very own eyes, you’ve heard that the delicacy was something only members of the aristocratic class would feast on. 

Your mouth waters at the thought.

“What are you thinking about that could possibly be so important? Keep your eyes on me,” A strong hand squishes your cheeks together and firmly guides your face back upon him. 

You should be embarrassed; ashamed at the intimate position His Majesty has trapped you in. The way your head is tucked away in his lap as he peers down at you, nothing to shield you away from him. It was incredibly scandalous, considering that you were an unmarried woman! But it seemed like the Emperor had taken no mind towards it. You would even dare to say that he was enjoying it, with the way his lips quirk upward at the sight of you squirming. 

“Your Grace,” You repeat, determined to free yourself from his hold. His eyebrows furrow.

“Satoru,” He reminds you. You purse your lips. The position you hold in his court is simply not high enough to grant you the privilege of calling him by his given name.

“Your Grace,” You try again, the title rolling off of your tongue naturally. A man like him did not deserve any title less than.

“You’re breaking my heart, sweetheart. Indulge a man, won’t you?” He pouts down at you. As stubborn as ever, you don’t relent.

“I would be overstepping my boundaries as your consort to call you as such. That privilege is reserved for your future bride.” You take advantage of his guard let down to sit up and escape his hold. If he could have caught you, he made no effort.

“I am a simple man.” He follows you to your vanity. A giggle escapes your mouth. He is anything but. “I want my love to call me by my name.” 

You turn around to cup his cheek. He eagerly leans into your touch, sighing happily at the contact.

“I wonder how Lord Kento and Geto would react to you like this.” You tease, a smile unknowingly painting itself on your lips. 

Satoru’s face falls, features morphing into an appalled expression. You watch him close the distance between you through the mirror.

“Kento?” His voice had a dangerous lilt in it. You blink, unsure what spurred on the sudden tension in the room. “Since when were you so comfortable around him? He cannot satisfy you like I can.” He reminds you of the man’s castrated state as an eunuch. You wince.

“I have not gotten comfortable,” You’re careful to pick your words. Gojo’s possessiveness was something that was not easily tamed. “He simply provides good conversation while you are away.The palace is far too big and lonely while you’re away dealing with clan matters.” 

The only response you get is a quiet grumble. “You’re lucky that you’re pretty.” His large hand creeps its way into your hair again, undoing the hairstyle your ladies in waiting had spent a copious amount of time on earlier that morning. Gojo carefully plucks the extravagant silver hairpin from your hair, the dangling pearls clicking softly at the sudden movement.  His hands slowly make their way down to the kimono that you are wearing, hands ready to undo the obi.

Your hands softly hover his, “I fear that our roles have been reversed. Should it not be me who gets you unready, Your Grace?”

He chuckles and through the mirror you can see a smirk make his way to his lips, “I’d let you undress me any day. Just say the word, beloved.” 

You roll your eyes, but allow him to continue. It was moments like these with the Emperor that led you on to believe that there was a semblance of love between the two of you. 

How wrong you were.

PRESENT DAY

The sun has yet to meet the horizon when you arrive at the Inner Palace. The horse-drawn carriage that you and Yaga had taken is the only sound at the scene, clopping down the stone road and back to the Inner Court. You miss the serenity of the beautiful palace you once resided in, knowing that it will be bustling with life in just a few short hours.

In front of the large doors of the primary ceremonial hall where the Emperor spends most of his time, stands Lord Nanami, a counsellor to the Emperor himself. Time has only made his face sterner, but his neatly styled hair and blue and yellow dyed court attire remained the same. He waits patiently while you and Yaga make your way up the flight up stairs that lead up to the hall.

“I am glad to see you in good health, Yaga.” Nanami bows. 

The man next to you promptly waves his politeness off, thanking him for his hospitality. You stand silently while the two men engage in conversation regally.

Lord Nanami sighs, “His Majesty has been plagued by stress lately. To say I am relieved by your presence would be an understatement.” His statement is a subtle reminder that you must harden your heart upon entering the palace walls. The meticulously built walls were no longer a sanctuary for you, rather, a painful testament that you were no longer wanted. 

Yaga lets out a hearty laugh and it reveals a rare sight, Lord Nanami’s lips curving upwards by a slight. “I highly doubt the boy would be glad to see me. The appearance of the Imperial Physician is portentous.” He scratches his beard. You tilt your head in confusion at how he referred to the Emperor.

“I suppose, yet I am intrigued to find out how he will react upon seeing his object of affection flourishing anew despite the sting of frost.” Nanami audibly wonders. Even a fool could understand his eloquent comparison. The Emperor would be thrilled to see his consort in full bloom once again. You pray that the Heavens would grant you some mercy from witnessing such a scene.

“Youth,” Yaga shakes his head, chuckling to himself before regaining composure. “I mustn't keep the Emperor waiting. [Name], please gather the herbal ingredients to treat the young Consort as you seem fit. I shall confer with His Majesty and meet you in her chambers to declare a proper diagnosis.”

You bow, “Yes sir.”

While Yaga prepares to enter the doors where The Heavenly Emperor resides, your eyes couldn’t help but gaze longingly at the large bronze doors. 

“You seem well,” Nanami addresses you for the first time in over a year. Your eyes trail from the Emperor’s door to the blonde man in front of you. “Allow me to guide you to our herbal stock.” Nanami offers you his arm as you start to make your way down the stairs. 

You take it, lightly holding his arm.  “Thank you, Lord Nanami. Time away from the Inner Palace has been like a breath of fresh air,” You respond, ensuring your voice carries no malice. You hear the large palace doors from behind you open, the metal creaking loudly in the quiet dawn. 

“I must ask you to call me Kento,” He leads you down the stone steps. “We are old friends, it is strange to hear anything but.” 

You focus on your steps down the stairs, only responding once your feet meet the solid ground, “I fear that our social statuses have changed since then. It would be the cause of a scandal should anyone hear I am calling the Imperial Counselor by his given name. Your admirers would have my head on a stick.”

“Your imagination is amusing as always, [Name].” He gives you a closed eyes smile. You huff.

“I am only speaking the truth!” You insist. He chuckles.

“It is quite refreshing to see both you and Yaga again. I’m not sure how long it has been since I have been at the imperial physician.” 

You gape at his confession. “You mustn't skip your annual visits to the physician, Kento. It is in the best interest of your health!” You lightly scold him, lifting your hand to flick his forehead. It was a force of habit. “Perhaps if I have time after treating the Consort, I shall do a check up on you.”

Nanami clears his throat at your comment, the twinkle in his eyes dissipating as if your direct touch had burned him. 

“I would rather not lose my head.” He mumbles, eyes scanning the courtyard around the two of you. You knit your eyebrows, confused.

Nanami leaves you to fulfill his duties once you arrive at the Royal Kitchens to retrieve all the necessary items to treat Consort Himiko. You are glad that he did not accompany you into the kitchens to prepare Consort Himiko’s herbal soup. 

The memory of it still irks you.

“You’re late,” One of Consort Himiko’s ladies in waiting snaps just as you enter the kitchen. You look up to see a young girl, dressed in a light purple kimono. It must be Himiko’s signature, you note. It was strange to see someone outside of the Imperial family donning the color, but you suppose it was only a grand display of Himiko’s influence.

“You’re a lot more plain than I anticipated,” The other lady in waiting quirks an eyebrow, eyeing your appearance. You furrow your eyebrows, shocked by their rudeness.Their undying loyalty to their Lady was enough to fuel an unspoken hatred for you. Though you’re not sure that the two coincide, you don’t blame them.

The two are mixing a concoction that you don’t recognize to be used to treat the sick. The taller one adds some aromatics and herbs in and you see the other one unwrap a cloth to reveal a rare delicacy from the West. Cocoa, you believed they called it. 

Then it hits you– the two are not making a medicinal soup for their Lady, rather they are making an aphrodisiac! The image that conjures in your head makes you blanch. Back in the Outer Palace, Shoko had shown you the effects of the stimulant (you shiver at the memory of her shoving a treat laced with it into your mouth). It was certainly a night to remember.

“How pathetic,” You mutter underneath your breath, quickly rushing to obtain the ingredients you needed without making conversation with the two girls.

Fortunately, they pay you no further attention for the time you’re in the kitchen.

“Please excuse me,” You bow upon entering the Emperor’s chambers. Despite the Consort’s Pavilion being similar in size to a small town, you remember spending most of your time in the Emperor’s chambers rather than your own. It was probably the same case with Consort Himiko. You slowly place the tray carrying broth and medicinal herbs to treat the Consort down on the circular wooden table in the middle of the room.

Out of curiosity, your eyes can’t help but soak in the Emperor’s room. Not much has changed since you’ve left. His Majesty’s preference for minimalist decorations have stayed the same, along with his natural musk that fills your nose. You feel your face heat up at your own thoughts. How could you think of such a thing when you are about to meet his new lover?

Your gaze moves to his bed, where Consort Himiko resides– only to find nothing.

“Huh?” 

You observe his bed, silk sheets neatly made, seemingly untouched. The sounds of your sock clad feet patter on the wooden floor as you make your way to feel the bedsheets for any signs of warmth, but you are met with nothing.

“Don’t you know that entering the Emperor’s chambers can be punishable by death?” A deep voice from behind you causes you to jump in your spot. 

Your guard is immediately raised, head whipping to the sound. In hindsight, you should have never agreed to accompany Yaga on his trip. It was a foolish idea all along, you think as all of the air in your lungs dissipates upon seeing your former lover. 

Standing at the entrance of his own sleeping quarters is Gojo Satoru, his frame big enough to tower over the doorway. His arms are crossed over each other, electric blue eyes focused on nothing else but you. You press your thighs together tightly to avoid squirming anymore than you are.  He has loosened his dark blue kimono to expose some of his hardened chest, a sight any woman in the nation would die to catch a glimpse.  Even underneath all of the fabric, anyone can see his divinely sculpted physique.

“Your Grace,” You waste no time to dip your body deeply, praying that he will allow you to keep your head by sunset. “I apologize for the intrusion, I was under the pretense that Consort Himiko resided in your quarters–” Your voice loses itself in your throat when you see his shadow quickly encroaching.

“Himiko stays in her Pavilion,” He towers over you, eyes gazing down on you. “But one might suspect that you already knew that.”

Your eyes frantically meet his feet, desperate to salvage what was left of your dignity, “I assure you that I speak of the truth, Your Majesty.”

When he doesn’t respond, you slowly lift your head.

The flustered look on your face must have been amusing to him, as he makes his way closer to you, bending down to interrogate you further.

“Is that so?” He hums, enjoying every second of cornering you into his chambers. The back of your legs have met his bed, trapping you. You inhale sharply, trying to keep your breaths even, refusing to give him the satisfaction of knowing the effect he had on you.

He continues, “You’re awfully skittish for someone who was happily skipping around my territory in the arms of another man just earlier.” His predatory gaze seems to darken. 

“Kento?” When his name leaves your lips, the man in front of you grits his teeth. You turn your head to the side, deliberately avoiding him. “With all due respect, Your Majesty, but I don’t see how Kento and I’s relationship is any of your concern,” He does not take your actions well, his gaze searing into you.

“It certainly is when the woman in question is you,” Gojo’s voice loses its feral lilt, distress flashing across his face. There’s a newfound desperation in it that chips away at your resolve. His hand raises to your face so slowly, as if he did not want to startle you.

“This is wrong. I– I saw a couple of servants earlier making aphrodisiacs, perhaps you could have unknowingly consumed them.” You tell him, frantic eyes meeting him. It is not unusual for couples to use aphrodisiacs, you know that after under Yaga. The Emperor must have mistaken the laced dessert for his usual. 

He shakes his head, running a hand through his white hair.

“You are mistaken. This is solely your effect on me.” He promises. You could barely believe his words, stuck between feeling offended or shocked.

“How could you stand to be so cruel?” Your voice is barely above a whisper. There are no tears in your eyes this time.  “I am not a courtesan you can buy for the night,” You snap, pointing a harsh finger to his chest. 

“What do you mean?” He sounds breathless.

“Whatever do I mean?” You scoff, a dry laugh escaping your mouth. “For a year, all I have gotten is pity from the world, because you decided I was no longer entertaining. You could have at least banished me away yourself. Instead, you sent Suguru who couldn’t even look me in the eye! Don’t you know how humiliating that is?” With every word that left your lips, more venom seemed to drip. Anger was prickling you all over, taking control of the rational part of you.

Gojo seemed to be taken aback by your outburst. It was far too late to take anything back now. If you lose your head by nightfall, so be it.

You dig a deeper grave for yourself when you take advantage of his moment of weakness to flee. He’s quick to react, attempting to grip your wrist.

“Wait, [Name], beloved–” He uses that all too familiar term of endearment, but it doesn't deter you.

You accidentally bump into the circular wooden table placed in the middle of the room. What an awful place to keep it, watching in horror as the Consort’s medicine shatters on the floor. To add salt to the wound, a vase you recognize to be specially gifted to the Emperor from a foreign nation tips off too before you can catch it. The sound of porcelain shattering fills the room.

“[Name]! Are you alright?” You hear Gojo ask from behind you, but you run over the broken shards before he can catch you.

Had you bothered to pay closer attention, you would have noticed articles of your clothing and a couple of your missing belongings littered all over the room– creating a faux impression that you never really left the palace.

Days passed by after the incident, and luckily, your head was still attached to your body despite offending and nearly endangering the Emperor. Yaga’s disappointment when you had told him what happened was made evident when he sent you home early after hearing the events that transpired, insisting that he can handle the Consort on his own. Normally you would have argued, but you knew better than to inflict Yaga’s wrath.

“Now you’ve really done it,” Shoko whistles lowly, walking in from the front of Yaga’s shop. 

You hide your face in your hands, “I made an absolute fool of myself, didn’t I?”

“A fool? No. A conspirator against the Emperor? Perhaps.” She dangles a scroll with a familiar seal on it. The Gojo Clan’s familiar emblem reflects off of the sunlight spilling into the room. Your heart drops.

“Oh, they’ll have my head.” You moan, hands instinctively lifting to shield your neck.

“Though I’m quite impressed that Yaga only sent you back here. He used to have worse punishments.” She shudders before impatiently unraveling the scroll. You watch her eyes gradually widen as they read the contents of the letter. The scroll falls from her hand.

You rush to it, desperate to read your fate.

To [Last Name] [First Name],

Greetings and prosperity unto you.

By the mandate of the heavens and the authority vested in Us, We hereby extend Our solemn words to you, [Last Name] [First Name], servant of the realm, in acknowledgement of your debt to the Empire.

In response to your unmeritorious deeds, The Emperor bestows upon you His imperial pardon from capital punishment. In consideration of your obligations and the harmony of the realm, it is hereby decreed that you shall serve as an indentured servant to the Imperial Household for a period commensurate with your debt. During this time, you shall labor faithfully and diligently under the supervision of Our Heavenly Emperor, performing duties essential to the welfare of the Empire.

By fulfilling your obligations with diligence and humility, you may yet earn favor and esteem in Our sight.

The Imperial Court

A loud gasp escapes your mouth.

You feel your legs weaken, your emotions running wild. Shoko’s eyes meet yours, mirroring your frantic gaze. In that moment, you are met with the same suffocating sense of hopelessness.

extra!

gojo was kicking his feet happily as he watched suguru draft out his letter to you. suguru thought it rather cruel, while the white haired male was too busy purring happily as he fantasized about having you back into his grasp.

previous chapter | next chapter [coming soon!]

[cloudybarnes]

Secret Admirer

Pairing: slytherin boys x reader

Summary: you never get mail in the morning, not until one day you receive a letter from an anonymous sender, a secret admirer. From that day forward, you’ve been getting letters, poems, and cute little notes each morning at breakfast. His words were sweet, and as you began to fall for them, your quest of figuring out who sent them only grew.

Word Count: 4.1k+

Masterlist

note: trying something new! basically I dont wanna spoil who her secret admirer is, so I’m gonna call it slytherin boys x reader hehe guess you’ll have to read til the end to see who sent her the letters ;)

✰  ✰  ✰

“Theodore Nott, I’m gonna kick your sorry ass!” You shouted. 

You reached across the table in the great hall where Theo sat directly in front of you. He had stolen all of the bacon off of your breakfast plate and refused to give it up. Mornings were always quite hectic at the slytherin table, but this was downright unacceptable.

“Nope,” he smirked as he popped a piece into his mouth, “they were all out when I went up for breakfast. This bacon is mine now, sweetheart.”

You huffed, and sat back down in your seat. “You’re ridiculous. If you weren’t so damn late all the time, maybe you would have had some bacon of your own.”

“Here (Y/N),” Enzo smiled from his seat right next to you. “You can have some of my bacon.” He picked the best looking pieces and put them on your plate. 

“Aw, Enzo!” You grinned as you picked a piece up and ate it happily. “This is why you're my best friend.”

“Hey!” Pansy shouted from the other side of you. “Thought I was your best friend.”

“You didn’t give up a piece of bacon for her,” Draco smirked, “you’ve been demoted.”

Mattheo gruffed. “Enzo, you’re kind of mean, you know that? (Y/N) complains she’s all out of bacon and you jump to give her a piece, but when I say I need someone to do my charms homework for me, you don’t even try to lift a finger.”

“Mattheo, how many times do I have to tell you,” Enzo said, “I’m never gonna do your homework. And it’s not fair to compare that to giving up a piece of bacon! I don't even like bacon all that much!”

“Dude!” Blaise gasped from next to Draco, “if you don’t like bacon you should have passed that down this way a long time ago.”

Pansy scoffed and shook her head. “I’m surrounded by idiots.”

“Hey,” you whined as you ate another piece of bacon, “I’m the least idiot of the bunch, right Pans?”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, (Y/N/N).”

You grinned, about to rebuttal when the morning owl dropped an envelope in front of you.

“What’s this?” You questioned as you picked it up. 

“Uh, I think it’s quite obviously a letter, (Y/N/N).” Mattheo said as he stuffed his mouth full of bacon. “And, to think, you were trying to say you’re the least idiot of us.” He laughed.

“Oi,” Theo knocked his shoulder against Mattheo’s. “Leave her be. I’ve never seen her get a letter before, I’m curious.”

Draco shifted slightly in his seat. “Who’s it from, (Y/N/N)?”

“Nevermind who it’s from,” Blaise chuckled, “I wanna know what it says.”

“Why would you wanna know what it says and not know who it’s from?” Enzo asked, “That's like half the fun.”

You shrugged as you tore open the envelope. Opening the folds of the letter, your cheeks started to warm as you read what was inside. 

“What is it?” Pansy asked as she leaned closer, trying to catch a glimpse. 

“It says, uh,” you cleared your throat, a little bit flustered. “It says ‘people love to stare up at the stars, glimmering as they might in the night sky, yet everyone is too scared to enjoy the beauty that is the sun. you are my sun, and I would willingly go blind to catch even just a glimpse of you each day.’”

You friends all stared at you in shock. Draco, Blaise and Mattheo had their mouths hung open in shock. Enzo blushed a little bit, Theo had his eyebrows raised like he appreciated the words written on the page, and Pansy all but squealed as you read the letter. 

“Oh my god, I think I’m going to combust,” Pansy swooned. 

“Who’s it from?” Theo asked.

You shrugged, “I don’t know.” You flipped the letter to the back to see if it was signed at all. “It’s only signed with a heart.”

“That is so romantic!” Pansy squealed as she clasped her hands around your arm. “Our sweet (Y/N) has a secret admirer!”

“Wonder who it could be,” Draco said as he flicked his fingers in motion to hand him the letter. 

You complied, and passed the note to him. 

“I don’t know,” he said as he flipped it all around. “The handwriting sort of looks familiar.”

“Maybe it’s someone you know?” Theo suggested as he grabbed the letter from Draco’s hands. He took it upon himself to check it out a time or two before passing it to Mattheo’s eager grasp.

“I think it’s kind of funny,” Mattheo chuckled. “What if it’s some first year trying to make their move on you?”

You shuttered. “Merlin, I sure hope not. I honestly don’t think a first year would be able to write something so beautiful.”

“Yeah, no way,” Pansy shook her head. “Mattheo, you’re just jealous you weren’t the one who sent (Y/N) this letter. Maybe she’d give you a chance if you did something romantic, or just not annoying for once.”

“First,” Mattheo said, “ouch. Second, who says I’m not the one who wrote (Y/N) this love letter?”

“Mattheo, you wouldn’t know romance if it hit you with a ten foot pole.” Pansy said. 

“Hey!” Mattheo complained. “Someone tell her I’m romantic.”

“Hell no,” Draco scoffed. “You’re ‘bout as romantic as bloody boil, mate.” 

You laughed as Mattheo scrunched his face up. The bells chimed signaling the end of breakfast and the start of first class. 

“I’m not too worried about it,” you said as you stood and started packing your stuff up. “It’s just a little letter. No harm in it.”

“But you don’t want to know who sent it?” Pansy asked as she grabbed her belongings as well. 

You shrugged, “I don’t know yet. I’m not silly enough to expect something to come from this; it’s just a note. It could be a prank for all we know.” 

“No one who writes like that is doing it as a prank,” Theo remarked. 

“Well, still, whatever the reason may be, I’m not gonna go out looking for this person. No matter how sweet the words are.” You smiled, “I’m gonna head to class, bye guys.”

On your way to class, you couldn’t help but recite the words written in the letter. They had made your heart flutter, as stupid as that sounds. You slightly resented the way it made you feel as it was only a few measly words on paper, but the romantic part of you couldn’t help but want to know who was behind them. 

✰  ✰  ✰

In your last class of the day, you finally were able to see your good friend Luna Lovegood. You had been waiting all morning to have class with her so you can inform her of the letter you received that morning. 

“And it was just so poetic, Luna. No one has ever said anything like that about me before.”

She smiled at you as you mindlessly drew on your assignment. “I think it sounds quite lovely. Do you have any idea who it may be from?”

You shook your head. “No idea. I don’t even think I know anyone who writes, well, anything.” 

“What about that boy Enzo you always hang out with?” Luna suggested. “I’ve got him in my literature class, he’s very talented.”

You thought to yourself for a second. Could it be possible Enzo was your secret admirer? You’d been friends for so long, and he’d always be especially kind to you.

Well, he’s especially kind to everyone, now that you think about it. 

“I don’t know,” you honestly replied. “I guess I just never would have expected it to be one of my friends, let alone Enzo.”

“I wouldn’t rule out your group of friends,” Luna said with a smile, “it could really be any one of them.” 

“You think so?” 

“Well, maybe not all of them, but I think it could be a good place to start if you were wanting to figure out who it is.”

As you pondered over Luna’s words, Slughorn made it a point to reiterate there was no talking allowed during the assignment. 

You rolled your eyes and got back to work, waiting for this class to be over so you could finally figure out who wrote you the letter. 

✰  ✰  ✰

Back in the common room you saw Pansy, Draco, and Enzo sitting on the couches. 

“Hey, (Y/N/N)!” Pansy smiled as she scooted over and patted the spot next to her. “Find out anything new about your secret admirer?”

You smiled with a roll of your eyes as you sat with her. You kicked your shoes off and folded your legs under your body. “No, but I think I’ve got an idea brewing of how to find them.”

“Oh,” Draco smirked from the couch across from you. He folded his arms over his chest, “do tell, (Y/N), I’m very curious to see who it could be.” 

You shook your head, teasingly, “not a chance, Malfoy. I’m not giving up my secrets til I get to the bottom of this thing.” 

Draco raised his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, doll, if you wanna be secretive about your already secret admirer, I respect it.”

Enzo shifted in his seat a little uncomfortably. “It’s kind of strange though that they went out of their way to write something to you but kept it a secret. It just makes me a little apprehensive.”

“Oh, chill out, scaredy cat,” Pansy said. “(Y/N) will be fine, and if it’s someone weird at least she’s got us to look out for her.”

You grinned and wrapped your arms around Pansy’s neck. “Quit getting all sweet on me, Pans.”

She chuckled and playfully pushed you away. “Yeah, yeah. I’m not getting sweet, don’t get it twisted.”

You chuckled. “I think I’m gonna head up, got lots of scheming to get to,” you teased with a wiggle of your eyebrows. 

You stood up from the couch and Pansy stood with you. “Farewell, boys, it’s been awful as usual.” She said with a smirk. 

“Thank Salazar you’re leaving,” Draco said to her. “Your presence was such a nuisance.” 

Pansy snarled at him and dramatically turned away to head up the stairs. You and Enzo shared a short laugh before you followed her up the stairs to your shared bedroom. 

✰  ✰  ✰

The next morning, you were last to the dining hall for breakfast. 

“Finally, she makes it,” Mattheo called out before taking a swig of his orange juice. 

You huff and settle into your seat between Enzo and Pansy. “I know, I overslept something horrible this morning.”

Since you were so late, the kitchen staff had already stopped serving breakfast meaning you were going without this morning. 

Theo glanced at you from across the table and pushed his plate towards you. “Here,” he said, “take anything you want.”

You looked down at saw scrambled eggs, french toast, and sausage links on his plate. 

“Really?” You grinned as you grabbed a sausage link from his plate. 

Theo nodded, “yeah, can’t have you go without eating. Lord only knows what a monster you can be without food.” He teased with a small smirk. 

You crinkled your nose up at his and grabbed a piece of french toast as well. “I’m gonna let that slide since you were nice enough to give up your breakfast. Don’t make me regret my kindness.”

Theo chuckled and pulled his plate back to him, glancing up at you before delving back into his plate. 

Mattheo tried to reach his hand over to Theo’s plate but was met with a slap on the wrist. 

“Ow!” Mattheo said as he cradled his wrist in fake hurt. “Theo, how could you? I thought we had something special.”

Theo rolled his eyes. “You got more food on your plate then the rest of us combined. I think you’ll be alright.”

You chuckled, but a thought crept into your mind. “Hey, guys, uh, did the post come today?” You asked. 

Draco raised his eyebrow with a smirk. “Waiting for another letter, are we?”

Your face burned as you shrugged your shoulders. “I don’t know. I kinda wanna get to the bottom of who it is.” 

“You’ll find ‘em, (Y/N/N),” Pansy said, “even if I have to interrogate everyone we know. We’ll get down to the bottom of it.” 

Just as she said that, the morning owl came swooping down towards you and dropped a small slip of paper in front of you. 

Draco smirked, “Looks like someone really wants your attention, (Y/N/N).”

You tried to hold back your smile as you unfolded the small post it note. 

You couldn’t help the smile on your face as you read out to them, “'I love to see you smile, especially when you’re smiling at me.’ Aw, that’s kind of sweet, actually.”

“Don’t tell me you’re starting to get sweet for this mystery man,” Blaise interrupts. 

You shrug as you fold the note back up. “I don’t know, it is pretty sweet, no? And this must mean it’s someone I know personally because they said I smile at them.”

“Oh Godric,” Mattheo grinned, “you’ve fallen for a mystery man.”

“No I haven’t!” You protest. “I just think it’s sweet and now I know it’s someone I’m friends with and not some creepy first year.” 

“Wait,” Theo said, “how do you know it’s someone you’re friends with?”

“Because it says I smile at them,” you said obviously. “Who else do I smile at?”

“(Y/N), I hate to break it to you,” Pansy said as she placed a hand on your shoulder, “but you’re the most smiley slytherin I’ve ever met.”

You shrugged off her hand with a fake glare. “Hey! Give me some credit, I can be bad sometimes.”

Enzo chuckled, this is the first time he spoke all conversation. “You’re too sweet to be bad, (Y/N/N).”

You grinned and playfully bumped your shoulder against his. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I just know it’s someone I know. I can feel it. It’s not some random person, it can’t be.” 

The bell rang, signaling the end of breakfast. You and your friends stood up to leave. You couldn’t help but think about the notes you received, pondering on who it could possibly be. 

✰  ✰  ✰

“Post is running late this morning,” Draco noted as the clock struck 8:26 with no sight of the morning owl. 

You were a tad disappointed. You had pondered all day yesterday about who it could be. You’ve narrowed it down quite a bit, and you think Luna may be on to something. While you don’t exactly think for sure that it’s Enzo, you do think you’ve narrowed it down to your group of close friends. 

You really just can’t see anyone else knowing you well enough to be this fascinated with you. The only one out of your friend group that you completely had ruled out is Blaise. 

Blaise was definitely out because out of the whole friend group, he was the least close with you. Frankly, you guys just don’t talk nearly as much as you talk to the rest of them. 

“Great,” Mattheo gruffed, “how will I be entertained this morning without (Y/N)‘s secret stalker and his confession of love.”

Okay, maybe Mattheo was out too. 

“Oi,” Theo piped up. “Don’t knock it too hard, (Y/N) seems to be enjoying herself with the letters.” 

You blushed a little as you shrugged. “I don’t want to seem weird by how invested I am in it, but I just think it’s sweet. No one’s ever really expressed this kind of feeling for me, so… you know,” you shrugged awkwardly, your face definitely beet red by now. 

“Well I for one am extremely invested in this,” Pansy said. “I’m lowkey jealous that I’m not the one with a secret admirer. What I wouldn’t give for someone to think of me that way.” 

“Maybe someday someone will like you, Pansy,” Enzo said reassuringly. 

“We might all be dead by the time that happens, but who knows, it might happen,” Mattheo said. 

Pansy gasped with a glare. “Wow what crawled up your ass this morning?”

Mattheo shrugged and focused his attention back to his breakfast plate. 

“Anyway,” Draco said, “I’m intrigued as well. I think I’ve got an idea who it could be, but I'm not quite positive.” 

You parked up at that. “Really? Who’s your guess?”

Draco smirked, “Wouldn’t you like to know.” He teased. 

You glared at him, “Malfoy, if you know who it is you better spill.”

“I’m not saying I know who it is, I’m just saying I have a hunch at who it may be.”

“Oh!” Enzo exclaims as he points up in the air, “here comes the owl.”

You grin in anticipation as the owl drops a little note down in front of you. It was a larger note than yesterday, but this time it didn’t have something sweet written on it. 

It had a clue. 

“It just says ‘being your friend is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, though I’d be lying if I said i didn’t want to be more.’” You read. 

“So it is one of you!” Pansy shouted as she pointed her finger towards everyone at the table. 

Draco smirked, “that was my hunch. ‘Had a feeling it was one of these blokes.”

“And who says it’s not you, Malfoy?” Mattheo questioned with a raise of his brow. 

“Please,” Draco scoffed, “if I wanted to woo (Y/N) she’d be mine by now.” 

“Oh big talk from down that end,” Pansy rolled her eyes. 

“I could get anyone I want,” Draco puffed his chest. “I don’t need to be anonymous to do so.” 

“Hey, don’t hate on my letters, Draco.” You complained. “Least they got the balls to say something.” 

“Barely counts as having balls when they won’t even say who they are.” Mattheo countered. 

You huffed as your table fell into somewhat of a silence. Conversations picked up without you as your thoughts trailed off. 

Theo had been extremely quiet this entire time. While he was never the chatter bug, it was odd having gone almost the entire breakfast without hearing from him. 

As everyone else was engaged in conversation, you stared at the boy sitting across from you. His head was down as he played with his breakfast, pushing it around with his fork. 

You lightly kicked his leg under the table. 

Theo’s head perked up. His eyes stared into yours, and for a moment, you couldn’t remember what you wanted to say to the boy. 

His eyebrow raised in question as a small smirk glazed his lips. 

You blushed a little. “I-uh just wanted to see if you were alright. You didn’t really say too much the whole time we’ve been here.”

Theo shrugged as his smile dropped. “yeah, just don’t got too much input.” 

Your heart swelled. You really had turned each morning to revolve around you and your secret pen pal. 

“Sorry, Theo. I didn't mean to annoy you with all my talk of the letters.”

He shook his head. “You could never annoy me, doll.” 

Your heart beat like crazy. 

“Still, though, I feel bad about how much I’ve put into this. Let’s talk about something else.” You offered, “how’s class going?”

Theo chuckled and ran a hand through his tousled hair. “Shit. I’m drowning in assignments and got two quizzes coming up that I’m just not ready for.” 

The bell rang. 

Theo groaned. “Got one next class. I think I might skip, though. Give myself some more time to prepare for it.”

As everyone started walking out of the dining hall, you grabbed Theo’s arm and pulled him back. 

His eyes widened slightly, but quickly reverted back to normal. 

“Maybe I‘ll skip with you,” you said, “if you’ll have me, that is. I can help you study. What class is it?”

Theo hesitated. “It’s, uh, herbology. ‘m not very good with plants and all that.”

You grinned, “I can help! I’m not too bad with flowers and plants.”

Theo nodded, “yeah, I could really use the help.”

“Okay, you wanna go to the library then?”

Theo shook his head. “I’ve got a good spot. Come on.” He grabbed your hand and pulled you with him. 

You followed him all the way out to the courtyard towards the opposite end of the school. You walked until you reach a large bench with intricate designs on the backing and arm rests. 

Theo took a seat. “Figured this would be good as any. Least now we can look at some plants up close, eh?”

You chuckled and took a seat next to him. “Yeah, sounds great, Theo. You got your textbook?”

He nodded and dug through his bag to pull it out. Once he handed it to you, you started flipping through the pages to get to the important material. 

“I’ve got the herbology exam 4th period, so I can help you study and it’ll help me study too! Win, win.”

Theo grinned and ran a hand through his hair. “Sounds good, doll.”

Your cheeks blushed. You couldn’t help the smile that graced your face. “I like when you call me doll.”

Your smile dropped. “Oh, geez, I did not mean to say that out loud.”

Theo’s face remained blank. That just made you more nervous. 

“Great, now I’ve weirded you out.” You exasperated. “I’m really sorry, Theo, I didn’t mean to-“

“I’m not weirded out, doll.” He cut you off. “Was just a little stunned is all. Didn’t expect you to say something like that.”

You thought your face couldn’t get any hotter than it already was, but somehow it did. 

“Well, still,” you mumbled as you looked down at the textbook again, “sorry.”

Theo sat for a minute, watching as you flipped through the book. Your eyebrows furrowed a little in aggravation. You were annoyed at yourself for how stupid you were being. It was Theo for Salazar sake. 

Though, you couldn’t help but admire the boy. He was gorgeous, for one, but he was also charming and witty. He was sweet and generous. You couldn’t deny you were attracted to him, but you had never thought he would see you in the same light. 

“(Y/N)?” Theo called. 

You looked up into his eyes. 

Theo stared at you, taking in each one of your features. Your eyes, your lips, your nose. You shifted a little, way too aware of his gaze on you. 

“Theo?” You called back. His gaze shifted back to your eyes. 

Before you could say anything, he softly spoke, “I’m the one sending you those letters, (Y/N/N).” 

You stared at him in shock. 

No way. 

“Y-you’re the one who wrote me the letters?” 

He slowly nodded his head. Theo’s lip was drawn in between his teeth. “Is, uh, are you disappointed?”

“What?” you exclaimed. 

He shrugged, “I mean, you just really seemed to like the letters, and I know you wanted to know who it was, so I just hope I haven’t disappointed you in the revelation.”

You shook your head. “Actually, it’s quite the opposite.”

Theo’s head shot up to look at you. “Really?”

You smiled and nodded. “Mhm, I like you Theo. I have for a while now, actually, I just thought you’d never give a chance.”

He laughed. “You thought I’d never give you a chance? I thought you’d never give me a chance.”

You laughed loudly together. When it finally subsided to quiet chuckles, you said,  “I really like you, Theo.”

Theo’s smile grew. In a quick moment, he grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you in for a kiss. 

You gasped against his lips, and wrapped your arms around his neck as you kissed him back. His textbook fell off your lap as he pulled you closer by the waist. 

You kissed him until you couldn’t kiss anymore. Finally pulling back, Theo’s grin was the cutest thing you’ve ever seen, even with his lips a little puffy from your kiss. 

“I really like you, Theodore.”

He grinned, “I really like you, more (Y/N).”

[yesimwriting]

Normalcy

A/n deadpool and wolverine drabble bc the movie was a little too good

Summary: Still reeling from the loss of your powers, you struggle to hold it together inside the TVA's void. Thankfully, you find an uncharacteristically peaceful distraction in your old friend Deadpool and in the wolverine variant who wants nothing to do with you.

Warnings/info: reader is a (former) avenger (bc i love the avengers <3), reader is described as having similar powers to wanda and having trained with her (bc i love wanda), implied beginning of an accidental love triangle if you squint ig, maybe too much lore for a drabble (?), me writing for characters for the first time so be nice 😭

----

The lines etched into your palms do not bend and twist to spell out secrets, there are no messages worth decoding pressed into your skin. Knowing this is not enough to stop you from staring at your hands like if you could just think about it hard enough...

"There you are, Peanut." The words are so warm you're briefly pulled out of your internal angst. You straighten, head lifting slightly and arms crossing in front of your chest. "Thought I lost you."

Wade continues forward until he's directly in front of you. He pauses, watching you with an unabashed openness that you'd only ever allow him to get away with. "Kidding," he tries, "I'd never lose you."

The familiarity of the casual affection eases you further, the corner of your mouth tugging itself upwards. "I was like 15 feet away from you."

"Sorry for caring." It's his go to comeback when it comes to defending the displays of affection you have the audacity to find overdramatic.

You blink, lips parting despite your lack of response. The world has felt a little slower these last few days, moving at a pace that leaves you with no choice but to reflect. Maybe it's the void.

"Hey," his voice feels a little flatter without his usual humor, "Are you okay?"

You let out a breath, shocked by this new low. Sure, you've known Wade for awhile and you've both seen each other through plenty of stages, but he's never felt the need to attempt a genuine pep talk for you. He's never struck you as the pep talk sort...for anyone. Do you really seem that off?

It's bad enough that your identity crisis has stolen the abilities that would have helped your trio pop out of the void with no real fanfare, you can't also make your insecurities everyone else's problem. "Yeah." The response doesn't feel convincing, but with Wade wearing the Deadpool mask, it's hard to be sure. "Just y'know...we're in a void and our reality might be ripped apart, so I've been better."

He's still watching you with a level of focus that's unnerving. You've gotten used to his familiarity, his lack of care for personal space or the social rules around watching people. "You're doing it again."

"Seducing you with my ability to have a heart to heart while looking this good in my suit?"

You sigh in an attempt to dismiss your slight smile. Happy or sad, superhero that once fought Thanos or regular person that can't regulate their emotions, Wade always treats you the same. "The staring thing. You said you'd stop."

"No, you said I'd stop." The correction is a return to what you're used to. He takes a step towards you, his proximity now forcing you to tilt your chin up slightly to look him in the eye. "I'd never promise to look at you less."

"Comforting."

He angles his chin downwards, making the limited distance feel more significant. "I thought so." For a moment, he's quiet in a way that doesn't feel very him. "Are you sure you're...good?" His hesitance is another reminder that this is far out of his element. "I know this is your first..." Wade's rarely careful, only ever treading lightly on the one subject you never want to bring. "Outing, since..."

"I lost my powers."

Wade goes quiet again. If this conversation is as inevitable as it seems, a part of you wishes it could have come up elsewhere. Maybe in your shared apartment, definitely without the mask so you could better interpret his reactions. It's not often you keep secrets from him, but the hollowness you feel knowing the part of yourself you've lost isn't something you can just share.

It's more than just about missing your party tricks, it's about losing a part of yourself. They were all that was left of your time with the Avengers, of what Wanda taught you before Westview.

He lets out a breath. "They're not lost." You raise your eyebrows slightly, giving him a look meant to caution him against sympathetic optimism. "We don't know that."

He seems so happy to be able to tell you that there's no proof that any and all magical abilities have been flushed out of your system, you don't have it in you to remind him that that's mainly because you have no one to ask. What's left of the Avengers and your government connections either barely understand what you were or are untrustworthy.

"Educated wish?"

His mask muffles a slight gasp. You press your lips together in an attempt to resist smiling. "The last one worked out great."

Your eyebrows pull together skeptically, a reminder that the two of you are still technically in the middle of the last educated wish he attempted to speak into existence. "Didn't Wolverine stab you multiple times--"

He cuts you off with a heavy sigh. "If I took getting stabbed personally, do you know where we'd be?"

In a reality where Wade holds grudges over those kinds of things, you wouldn't be anything to each other, except maybe enemies. You've never pulled a knife or sword or anything sharp on him, but when you first met he did startle you before you had a total grip on your abilities, which resulted in him getting thrown through a wall.

"I never stabbed you."

His hand finds your shoulder. You let him drag his thumb against against the fabric of your suit. "And that's how I know you really love me, Peanut."

You roll your eyes in an attempt to dislodge the warmth that settles in the pit of your stomach. The last thing Wade needs is encouragement. "I mean, I do go around stabbing everyone I like less than you."

He lets out a sound that feels like a scoff attempting to mask itself as a dry laugh. "There's the sense of humor that'd hurt me if I knew you less."

"Well--"

He squeezes your shoulder, "I know you." Okay. You'll let him have this one because maybe there's some truth to what he's saying. "I'm going to go check on the car, because a fucking Honda Odyssey would break down on us for no reason before we got to the fight."

"For no reason or because of the bitch fight you and Wolverine had in it?"

There's a beat of silence in which all you can do is try to imagine Wade's expression behind the mask. You'd like to think that he's smiling. "Oh, Pumpkin." He sighs as if you've stumbled onto saying something terribly naive. "It wasn't a bitch fight, it was awesome, and probably turned you on."

You deadpan a flat, "You caught me." He hasn't let go of your shoulder, and a part of you is oddly glad for it. "I'd offer you help with the car, but..."

You're self aware enough to acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses, car maintenance being the latter. Wade doesn't even let you get your oil changed by yourself anymore.

"I've met you." He squeezes your shoulder again, the gesture weirdly stabilizing. "Give me 15 minutes to actually look at the car and then I'm all yours."

Wade lets go of you, his arm falling to his side. "Aren't you always?"

He lets out an exaggerated gasp. "You're making me feel cheaper than my usual rate, Peanut."

You smile as he turns away. Things are always a little easier with Wade. It's more than just distraction, it's his way of making things feel a little lighter. You're not sure what to do with your 15 minutes of solitude to avoid falling back into self pity.

You originally broke away from the group of void trapped heroes under the premise of needing fresh air, but even here, with the expansive, sparsely wooded area at your disposal, the oxygen in your lungs still feels flat. If Wanda were around, you'd be able to ask if she felt the strangeness of this other plane of existence as well. At least then you'd know if your dislike of the void is only mental or an actual sign of life from your abilities.

You begin to walk forward, hoping to shed all thoughts of both your former self and the eeriness of this other world. There are other people you could talk to you. The others have been polite enough, or at the very least, passionate enough to be talked into facing Cassandra.

The trees you've been wandering through grow in their sparsity, the edge of the woods revealing a patch of grassland highlighted by a fire's warm glow. You squint past the tree line, attempting to make out the figure sitting in front of the flames. Wolverine.

Secluded from the group and staring at a campfire. Surprising. Though, you guess it's not fair to judge him too harshly, you left the group to brood as well.

He doesn't like you, doesn't know you well enough to dislike you, but it took him no time to find a way to get around that. Maybe it's your proximity to Wade. You've done your best to take his hostility as un-personally as possible. You've seen enough people you really care about go through the guilt ridden, fallen hero thing to know how deep that kind of hurt runs.

You've never known a Wolverine or Logan Howlett variant, so you have no way of knowing what he was like before. Sure, you've heard stories, but you're also overly aware of how the media can twist and turn those stories to fit their narrative. One day, a superhero is the world's greatest protector, and the next their the greatest menace. Maybe he was always a little dark, or maybe he wasn't.

"Don't just stand there." The gruffness of his voice startles you more than it should.

Heat crawls up your neck, a part of you more embarrassed than you should be. You weren't lurking, or at the very least, you weren't trying to.

You sigh as you abandon the safety of the tree line. "Sorry." He turns his head away from the fire. "I wasn't--I was just walking."

He's quiet for such a long moment you almost expect him to not respond at all. "Without your shadow?"

Wow, only a halfhearted dig at Wade. You must have caught him in a good mood. "Friend, and he's looking at the car. I'd be looking at the car with him, but I figured the odds for tomorrow are bad enough as is."

Another uneasy stretch of silence. "Yeah." There's not much, if anything, to take from the comment. "If you're here to convince me to go with you guys tomorrow--"

"I'm not." It's an honest answer. You had been walking around aimlessly and happened to stumble onto him. "I'm not into the pep talk thing." He scoffs, the sound lacking in genuine aggression. "What?"

He lifts his gaze from the fire, his eyes settling on some point past the horizon. "I thought you were an Avenger."

You're not sure what bugs you more, the fact that he's so sure he has you all figured out or the implication that the Avengers spend their days encouraging each other instead of actually doing things. What the Avengers are--or maybe were--is so much more than that.

You step forward, further separating you from the cluster of trees. "The Avengers are about a lot more than that."

His attention briefly shifts onto you before returning to the flames. If the silence is meant to be dismissive, it doesn't feel that way. There's a patience there that doesn't suit his usual brooding.

"Do you care if I sit?" The question is forced out before you can overthink it. "I promise no inspirational speeches or small talk."

After a beat, he dips his chin downwards in a nod so subtle you would have missed it if you had been watching him any less carefully. You're more relieved by his acceptance than you should be, your feet carrying you towards the campfire.

You sit at a polite distance, knees bent in front of you. His silence seems to push against the void's sluggishness. Maybe the issue has been you fighting this world's momentum.

"Why are you with him?" You're not sure if you're more shocked by the question or the break in silence. When all you can do is blink, he continues, "You seem--" He subtly clears his throat, as if struggling to admit this next part, "Nice, normal."

Oh. If you had been focused, you likely would have got what he meant without the clarification. "I know Wade's a lot--especially to you." You place a hand against your knee, thinking about that very specific safety you only feel with Wade. You don't have to try at being anything, or worry about earning your keep in any capacity. "But once you get to know him, he's a good friend."

You look away from the fire pit in time to see the skeptical look Logan throws in your direction. "I'm serious." His expression doesn't change. "He um--after I stopped being important to everyone else, he still liked me ." This isn't the conversation you wanted to stumble onto, especially not with someone who you barely know and actively dislikes you. "That sounds kind of dumb, but the point is, he's loyal."

He turns his head back towards the fire. "You always call him by his name." The observation is so stiff you'd consider it hesitant if it came from anyone else.

You've never thought much about Wade's name. Part of it is familiarity, and the rest of it is a force of habit. Even when you were with the Avengers, you preferred using actual names when off duty. It's easier to separate the mask from the person beneath it when you make an active effort to.

You shrug. "I'm not into off duty superhero names, Wolverine."

He falls silent again. You concentrate on the flames, the way they illuminate the world around you. "You can--" He cuts himself off, attention never wavering from the fire. "You can call me Logan, if you want."

An unsteady warmth roots itself in your chest. You didn't expect any sort of kinship between you and the wolverine Wade stole from some other timeline beyond him occasionally accepting your attempts at creating peace between him and Wade.

"Okay," you focus on keeping your tone measured, avoiding any emotions that might startle him, "Logan."

There's no tension in the quiet that follows. You let the minutes pass until you're certain that Wade's waiting for an interruption disguised as an attempt to help. "I should go, Wade's probably waiting for me."

You push yourself to stand. You let yourself glance at him one last time before turning towards the trees you emerged from.

[dilfluvrr10]

Hello can you write a smut about virgin joost x virgin reader? Thankss

I wrote this pretty quickly so ignore any errors but this one's for all the horny bastards out there. I see you.

Stolen Glances ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

CW: Nsfw, age gap

word count: 2.5k

(I was writing from 1st person than kept randomly switching to 2nd person when I was thinking of Joost's pov, she's a little messy sorry)

My thoughts ran wild as I chewed on the end of my pencil. I was supposed to be revising for my biology exam tomorrow, but how could I when a man as heart throbbing as Joost was sat right in front of me. My father was a well-established manager who had represented the biggest musicians of my time. He had reached out to Joost after his breakthrough single ‘Friesenjung’ and together they had boosted Joost’s international stardom to new levels. My father always had a good eye for talent. They had developed a close bond over the short time they had worked together, my father, a clever and creative man who never stifled Joost’s artistry. Ever since I was a little girl I’ve always been involved in his work, going on tour, tagging along for press and having a string of musicians over at our house constantly. But this was different. Maybe it was just hormones or whatever, a part of growing up, or maybe it was because father was particularly fond of him, or maybe it was the way he always acknowledged me. I don’t know what it was, but he made me feel things I’ve never felt before.

He sat directly in front of me, discussing marketing for his next song, a favourable topic for both Joost and my father. They had been at it for hours, going back and forth intently at our dining room table when I walked in- deciding I wanted to do my work in more ‘natural light’. Of course, I just wanted to be around Joost, his entire demeanour utterly intoxicating to me. I sat at the end of our long dining table, and with my father’s back turned to me, I couldn’t resist stealing glances at Joost every chance I got. In a daze, I admired the way his brows subconsciously furrowed a little in concentration, the way he talked so expressively with his hands. His hands. My mind gradually became clouded with thoughts of his hands roaming my body, what his hands would look like around my neck. I bit down harder on the pencil, almost touching lead. Discreetly, I crossed my legs and squeezed my thighs together, feining for any pressure down there.

Joost could feel your eyes swallowing him whole. It was nothing new to him now, you always had your beautiful doe eyes plastered to him. He had no problem with the admiration you gave him, he understood your young curiosity. He also understood he could never act on it, could never betray his manager like that. Touching his daughter in all the places she daydreamed about, taking a bit of her sweet innocence away all for himself. No. He’d stay out of your way, be kind to you in other ways, like helping with your school work (even though he was hopeless in his own high school days) and making sure you weren’t too stressed with exams by making you laugh whenever he could. You had been staring at him for quite a while now, you must’ve been particularly horny today, he thought to himself. A slight smirk nipping at the corners of his mouth. He leaned back in his chair and adjusted his pants around his crotch knowing you’ll catch it.

I nearly threw up as he moved in his chair, legs spread as he leaned back adjusting his pants. My eyes grew wide with embarrassment when I noticed Joost’s gaze flicker towards me, evident he knew the affect he had on me. In a panic I hurriedly ran to my room. Tears welled in my eyes at the thought of Joost realising how I felt about him, all he’d ever been to me was kind and now he’s going to think of me as some naive girl with a hopeless crush on him. I cried, regret and humiliation in every drop that soaked my pillow. How could I have been so careless with my feelings?

A light knock at my bedroom door had awoken me from my tear-fueled slumber. Vaguely disorientated, I searched around for my phone. The bright, white light illuminated the room: 9:15pm. “Shit” I wasn’t meant to sleep all day. Groggily, I got to my feet and shuffled over to the door, questioning who it might be.

Joost could tell you had been crying, your eyes red-rimmed and still slightly swollen. He hated seeing you like this, “oh, I’m sorry did I wake you?” his voice soft and concerned.

“Joost…no, no it’s fine...everything okay?” the back of my throat burned, and my voice was faintly raspy.

“You left your things on the table, I just thought I’d drop them off before I went to bed,” he handed me my textbook and laptop but lingered in the doorway as if he had something else to say.

“Are you okay? You’ve been in your room since lunch, tell me what’s going on,” Joost always carried a comforting energy, I felt like I could tell him anything. But not this.

“Oh yeah I was up late last night, got really tired I guess,” followed by a small awkward laugh. Joost stood tall in front of me, having to look up to talk to him filled me with dirty thoughts. He wore a white tank, plaid pyjama pants and his night prescription glasses. His hair scruffy, signalling he had already been in bed. I began questioning the intentions of Joost’s visit, did he really just want to return my things? This late at night? No matter how guilty I felt, I couldn’t shake the butterflies growing in my stomach at the tension between us.

He looked down at you, you were avoiding eye contact now, your leg bouncing nervously and your fingers tapping the door where you held it open. Oh how shy he made you, how vulnerable and yielding. He felt bad after what had happened today, he contemplated for hours in bed if he should make it up to you tonight or just let it be. But seeing you now made it an easy choice.

“You know, I really don’t mind” he almost whispered, tilting his head and stepping ever so slightly closer. I glanced up once again, confusion and anticipation coursing through me. “Mind what?” I asked through a clueless façade. He shook his head, slowly stepping forward until he was completely in the confines of my bedroom, closing the door gently behind him. Just me and him. “I see the way you look at me…I’ve seen the way you cross your legs in the process” a wild smile danced over his lips, that’s when I realised this was all wildly funny to him. The entire time I’ve been losing my fucking mind over this man- he had been totally and utterly aware and amused. I scoffed at his upfront words, “God, what are you talking about Joost. You’re crazy, what are you getting at-” I was abruptly cut off by Joost’s huge hands firmly placed on my arms, pushing me back towards my bed.

“Sit.” With your lips still slightly parted with the ghost of whatever bullshit you were carrying on about, you obeyed, looking down into your lap and fidgeting with your fingers. Your surge of false confidence had been his last straw. He was going to give you whatever you wanted, all you had to do was tell him. He traced a tender finger along your jawline, he glimpsed your eyelashes fluttering from his angle, felt your breath hitch. He lifted your chin with his index finger, Those gorgeous eyes shimmering wide with unspoken desire.

Already, I was going to absolutely crumble under Joost’s very minimal touch. His fingers barely grazing my skin were well enough to send shivers cascading down my spine. I was timid and taken aback but at the same time I craved more; I wanted to feel him everywhere. “What were you saying?” he flashed another one of his cheeky grins I loved so much. His sly comment made me laugh this time around, turning the tense atmosphere surprisingly warm. He sat down next to me, causing fleeting touches of our arms and thighs. I was enveloped in his familiar scent, calming my nerves further. He placed a hand on my thigh, his tattooed finger drawing delicate circles as he spoke. “Let me give you what you want” his voice was low and hummed a beautiful harmony. I’d imagined this scenario countless times ever since I first laid eyes on my Joost. He had no idea what I’d let him do to me.

“Just be gentle,” the sweet sound of your consent aroused Joost more than he ever could’ve imagined. He wrapped his other hand around the back of your neck and pulled you in inches from him. With his thumb he caressed your bottom lip, your breathing heavy and erratic against every move he made. “I wouldn’t be anything else for you” he uttered softly, his words dripping with reassurance before grabbing your face and placing a light kiss over your needy lips.

For me, this small kiss was a revelation. The taste of him, the feeling of a mans lips pressed against mine while his hands caressed my body, it was a rush of sensations I’ve never experienced before. He lightly pecked my lips once more before smashing hungrily into me, kissing and sucking. With his hands still cradling my face and his lips still glued to mine he urged me to lay down. I wrapped one arm around his neck, and one hand curled around his bicep beside my head as he ruthlessly attacked my lips a while longer.

Heavenly whimpers escaped both you and Joost, still being cautious not to wake anyone. Pulling away and seeing your lips so swollen and kiss-bitten made Joost so proud.

My body ached for him, “I can’t take much more of this” I whined as he left a trail of kisses down my neck. He lifted my shirt up over my head and continued down my stomach, his hands eagerly grabbing the sides of my waist and tits. He stopped at the edge of my pants, sat up and came to rest his back against the head of the bed. “Come here baby” he softly instructed me while patting the space in between his outstretched legs. He held me steady while I took up position, my close to bare back comfortably leaning into his chest, the difference in size apparent. His arms draped down to my thighs, his fingers never failing to caress every inch. Waves of comfort came with the steady rhythm of his heartbeat as he lowered his tongue to the nape of my neck, licking a long stripe up to my ear.

“Just relax,” he breathed, making the hairs on my neck stand straight. His hands ventured back to my pants, pulling them off with deliberate slowness, I lifted my hips to help and kicked them off the bed. “You’re so beautiful,” each word warm against my skin. His tantalizing hands resumed their careful journey as the cool air nipped against my newly exposed skin. I sucked in an audible breath as his fingers trailed up my inner thigh, “Is this okay?,” he said pausing just before my underwear to gauge my reaction. A weak nod was all I could muster up, I couldn’t resist slowly rocking my hips back and forth against him from the thrill of his touch. With my eyes closed tight I buried my face into Joost as the pad of his thumb brushed over the delicate fabric along my wet slit.

You squirmed into Joost ceaselessly, as he applied more and more pressure, unknowingly giving him a massage of his own through his pants. Your panties were becoming increasingly more damp, to the point where they clung to you leaving nothing to the imagination. Joost took this as a sign you were ready for more. You hadn’t opened your eyes since he started, your head was turned to the side, buried in his chest resulting in your neck being awfully exposed. A hot half moan escaped your lips in surprise as Joost’s mouth worked skillfully on your sensitive neck, his tongue flicking against your skin before he sucked ravenously, drawing out even more of those sweet, breathless sounds. At the same time he slipped his hand underneath the waistband of your underwear. You clung to him, your fingers digging into his shoulders and mouth wide open as he stroked your swollen clit and folds. You were involuntarily trembling and bucking against him as he fingered you to the edge. Every muscle inside your body was quivering aggressively. Deep tremors formed in your core and rippled outward. All composure was gone under his overwhelming touch.

My breaths came in heavy, uneven gasps. My chest rising and falling rapidly. I was completely at his mercy as his fingers worked me closer and closer. Every nerve in my body was aflame, my senses so desperately flooded by the delicious friction and heat of his touch. I was right there, teetering on the edge, ready to dive into the abyss of ecstasy he had created. Then his hands pulled away.

The abrupt halt left me gasping, my body trembling with unfulfilled need and anguish. My eyes flew open to meet his, “Joost, why would you stop?” He ignored my question and kissed me in compensation. “Not yet” was all he gave me. I kissed him open-mouthed and needy, my heart ponded in my chest, tension lingering in my aching body. With our lips still attached I wrapped a hand around the firm forearm draped around my waist and guided him back to down to the hot mess he had left me with. Desire still burning hotter than ever.

“You need me that bad baby,” his accent a seductive melody. “Please,” the desperation in my voice so evident- my cheeks burnt red. He gave no resistance to the tiny hand around his wrist, full of urgency and insistence. This time your eyes never left his, the intensity of longing clear to him. He found his hand back where you needed It most, your hips arched, silently begging for his touch. The moment his fingers made contact once again, a shudder ran through you, a suppressed moan released. “Don’t stop,” you commanded. You had a certain feralness to you the second time around, showing him exactly where and how you wanted him. Never letting go of the tightening grip around his wrist. Your body was pressed tightly into Joost’s, using him shamelessly like a toy. You needed him to finish what he had started, and you weren’t afraid to show him how much you wanted it. The reserved nature he knew you by was overcome by an insatiable desire. He pushed his tattooed fingers deep into your gushing entrance, frantically pumping in and out of you. “Fuckk,” tears spilled down your cheeks as you finally came.

Joost’s touch softened immediately, noticing you were overstimulated. You turned to your side still heightened with emotions and riding out the orgasm. With tender care Joost cradled you in his arms, running his hand through your hair, soothing you through the storm. “You’re okay.”

Nestled into the curve of his arms, you felt a soft blanket envelop you, and with a sigh of content you allowed yourself to surrender to sleep.

----------♡--------------------♡--------------------♡--------------------♡

(And he never even took any cloths off)

Also just realised I never actually stated she was a virgin

[velvetesrs]

Duty and Sacrifice | Hotd

Pairing | Aemond x Reader/Y/N

Warnings | Mentions of incest between siblings. 

Word count | 3032

Authors note | I haven’t written in a while and it shows but I’ve been working on this while I was in the bathroom and this might be a one shot or a short series leading into the murder of Lucerys.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Aemond would never admit it to you directly but he was fond of the way your hair was reminiscent of your mother.

The glossy red, like a promise of an unforgettable autumn, the smell of lilac blooms and gooseberry wine, trailed behind you as you came to sit next to your mother. you didn't look like the traditional Targaryen.

Despite Helaena being your twin you looked almost nothing like her, where as she was thin, gentle blue eyes and icy white hair. You were fire, bright red hair, full breast, your dark violet eyes being all that made the common folk shy away from naming you a bastard.

You had grown into your womanly figure early, your large bust that was extenuated by your tight stomach from years of training made all noble twats talk of you senselessly which made him ill at the thought of it.

Somehow you looked like the perfect mix of your eldest sister Rhaenyra and Your Queen mother, Alicent.

He loved playing with your curls, thoughts of how they'd look wrapped around his hand as he made you cum ferociously on his cock ran rapidly through his mind.

But there was an innocent light to it as well, Aemond loved his mother, and you mirrored her perfectly. no matter how unkind and stiff she was to you all. You were the opposite, you may have stolen her likeness in appearance but you were kind, gentle and loving, all the things she wasn't.

Having a motherly role to your idiotic drunk of a brother and your sweet twin sister.

Aemond also enjoyed having someone look after him, without the same judgement and expectations the Queen had for him.

He loved the way your hands felt on his face, while you sobbed cleaning his blood away, the fire in your eyes as you stood to defend him, covered in his blood.

Aemond never could grasp how you could love them all so much, even Rhaenyra and her bastard children, you'd stand before anyone and swear on the Gods that they were legitimate just because you knew what being Queen meant to her.

"Come Aemond, I must clean your bandages" you whispered amongst the crowd not to draw attention to his injury. It had been many moons since it happened but unfortunately being struck in the face during training cause the gash to bleed once more.

He stood unaffected by your words. still shy to show it in fear you may think him a monster like the other ladies of the court.

"They will be even more frightened by you if you are to bleed out in front of them, Brother" your soft scent floated through the air like a fragrant flower as your hand brushed against his, "Come" you urged noticing everyone's attention on the king as his health steadily declined.

It seemed the whole court was on edge that day, all attention on them as if Viserys was to die in moments and they'd kill each other reaching for his crown.

The stress was beginning to eat you alive, and the last thing you needed was Aemond to be in more agony knowing how badly it hurt your heart to him in pain.

You walked along side of him after excusing yourself from the commotion, not daring to grab your elder brother's hand until you were away from the crowd.

"Are you alright, my love?" Aemond hummed watching you audibly sigh gripping his hand tightly. "It is just the weigh of what is sure to happen soon" you mumbled.

You loved Viserys very much, he had never paid much attention to you in comparison to Rhaenyra. However you'd helped him build his mini statues of king's landing as a child and that moment cemented a love for your father that even his lack of care for you didn't sully.

"He will die soon" you stated walking into Aemond's chambers, his scent was more pungent now in his room.

He smelt like trees after it rained, clean and crisp with a hint of the strong Pine trees that sat outside of the sept he was frequenting lately. It was comforting and relaxing to be so fully immersed in what seemed like the essence of your big brother.

Your hands made quick work unlatching his eye patch as you settled in front of him, "does it truly trouble you this much sister? The thought of him dying?" Aemond questioned darting his good eye away from your face. He couldn't bare the idea that you'd look at him with disgust even though you were often the only one he'd allow change his bandages.

You quickly wiped away the blood leaking from his wound, applying a salve you made to keep away the infection, "your sapphire is irritating it again" you said softly ignoring his question, your plump lips almost touching his nose as you got closer to see it.

He pushed you away gently, pulling his eye patch back on with a hiss, "it is fine as it is, if Aegon had been mindful of his sword this wouldn't of happened"

You sighed watching him put away your things you kept in his chambers for times like this, "it 'twas an accident" you mumbled looking down.

"You baby him far too much" he groaned in almost annoyance before he caught the look in your eyes, "he isn't as innocent as you believe Sister"

You had been angry at Aegon for harming your brother but when he gave you the puppy dog eyes you couldn't help but defend him.

Still you felt bad that you had forgiven Aegon so quickly thinking that Aemond would be mad at you, but you couldn't bring yourself to be unkind to him.

"It is fine Y/n it will heal just as long as I have you to care for me" Aemond said walking up to you, he pulled you into a hug, letting your scent mix with his in a deliciously sensual way.

You blushed pulling away from him, "Always brother" you cleared your throat, "we must go back"

He nodded disliking how quickly you put distance between the two of you, he gripped your hand, "let us return then"

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Aemond knew something was wrong with you, you didn't seem ill nor did your smile fade from your beautiful face but still something was off, he noticed at first at dinner, when you excused yourself early. Something you rarely did if not on your moons blood which he had written down so he could help you track so he knew for a fact it wasn't that.

If he hadn't been watching you so closely he wouldn't have noticed you putting your food into napkins underneath your Gown pocket as if saving it away for some reason.

The most unusual part of your sudden illness at dinner was you rushed to your chambers with your handmaiden. You liked to prepare for bed alone.

He knew it was wrong to follow you but when he knocked on your chamber door it creeped open slightly as if not to show too much.

You face was flushed as you glanced up at him, "Yes, Brother?" You questioned with a soft smile pretending to droop your eyes to mimic exhaustion.

Your hair was wet, a sprig of lavender behind your ear, something else unusual, "Nothing, just making sure you are well" he replied narrowing his eye in suspicion.

You nodded, "Very well, I'm off to bed Sweet dreams" you rushed to say as you shut the door in his face.

He stood there shocked for a moment before turning away, you were up to something and even though he knew it was wrong to doubt you he couldn't help it.

Your footsteps were nearly silent as you snuck from your chamber, a hood resting over your head and a dark shift covering your commoners clothes.

Aemond stood just far enough in the shadows to follow you as you went to flea bottom.

He watched as your Princess like presence turned into one much like the other people in walking at night. You had been here before he noted, you knew exactly how to cover your tracks and how to hide your true identity.

If he was any other it would've been easy to lose you amid the crowds of people covered by the moonlight but your glossy hair peaking through the hood was a dead giveaway.

You stopped at a door, knocking twice. He watched as a woman emerged wrapping you tightly in an embrace, she smiled at you with tears in her eyes and her hands shook as you gave her a bag he hadn't noticed you had.

"This will be enough to live comfortably in Pentos" you said quietly, brushing a hand through the woman's tangled dark hair, "you will have your own home and never want for anything"

The woman let out a sob, covering her mouth, "Thank you My Princess, I-i am forever in your debt I cannot repay you" she pulled you into another hug.

You didn't seem disgusted by the obvious dirt on the woman's clothing, nor the stench of the streets.

"I have one request" you said with a grin "may I see him once more please" Aemond watched as she nodded hurriedly rushing back into her shack.

Much to his surprise, in her arms was a baby. it's hair white as his own, small fat fingers reaching up to touch your face and you held it with such care as she passed it into your arms it made his heartbeat rapidly.

"Tell him that his Father was a brave knight that died at battle, he was a good man but he couldn't stay to care for the two of you" you told the woman glancing down at the baby with love in your eyes, "and that his Aunt loved him so much that she could hardly bare it"

You had tears in your eyes as you handed the woman back her child, "there will be a man here shortly named Erick to safely bring the two of you to a boat, after that it shall be smooth sailing" you pulled something else from your bag on your hip.

"Enough food for tonight but I made sure the boat is ready for you with accommodations" you nodded stepping away, "I hope you have a good life Ellesa, you're a good woman"

She smiled at you watching as you kissed the boy on his head, "Farewell My Queen" she whispered. You laughed pushing her arm playfully, "Farewell my friend"

As she walked back into the small hut that he assumed was her home. You turned around and caught his eye, "Brother" you said slowly approaching him.

"It is Aegon's" he stated obviously referring to the child. You nodded, falling into step with him, "Yes"

You held your hand out awaiting his as you always did when you walked alongside him, "Not the first she had by him either, the others died due to illness she couldn't afford to heal" you had no reason to keep the truth from him and knowing you could always trust him you didn't wish to.

"She was his favorite whore, he introduced us once and I took a liking to her as well just not in the same manner" you murmured pausing your steps as Aemond stopped to stare at you, "he took you back to the Street of Silk?" he all but growled in anger at their older sibling.

You laughed, rubbing a finger on his furrowed brow, "No, he'd brought her to me" he sighed calming down a bit, "you've bedded her?" He asked in quiet surprise.

"No" you shook your head, "she was simply a friend i had grown close to, but if mother were to find out about her she'd have her killed, the babe as well" 

"mother wouldn't do that" Aemond disagreed, as cruel as she could be he couldn't imagine her doing such a thing. "she'd never harm an innocent woman and her child"

You snorted as the two of you continued your walk back to the red keep, "you'd be surprised what our mother would do to protect our family's name"

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

You had a difficult relationship with your mother, you loved her like no other but you saw the looks she gave you, the tone she used when she addressed you.

Your mother didn't like you very much, she loved you, of course as she did all of her children. But she couldn't bring herself to like them not when her life had to end to bring all of yours to fruition.

The Queen didn't blame you but she could never shake the feeling as she looked at your face so similar to hers in her youth.. so similar to Rhaenyra's.

You heard her before you saw her as you turned the corner in search of Aegon, "You are no son of mine" the words so harsh it made your heart sear with sadness.

"I am sorry" Aegon whispered out, "I am sorry I am not perfect like you" there was a stillness in the air before the sound of a slap.

You quickly walked into the room to see Aegon on the ground, his cheek bright red, tears in his eyes and your Queen mother standing above him.

"Mother" you called for her hesitantly, "I believe Grandfather was looking for you, The septa mentioned it to me" you mumbled as she turned to you.

Her eyes closed and she shook her head, "very well" she cleared her throat looking down at Aegon once more, "Excuse me Sweetling" she said as she walked past you.

You rushed to Aegon's side helping him sit up but he stumbled falling onto your lap, the stench ale heavy on his tongue, "Why" he whispered laying his head down on your lap, "why does she hate me" he asked you.

Sighing you brushed the hair from his face, "Mother is troubled much like us Aegon, Do not doubt her love"

He laughed drunkenly, "She is cruel, just like father they hate us" you felt your heart drop not knowing what to say, you couldn't argue you felt the same as he did.

"Why couldn’t she marry us" he mumbled suddenly into your gown, "I told her it was you I preferred, did you know?" He questioned and your heart sank.

You didn't want to marry Aegon, not because it disgusted you, but because you knew the type of man he was, A wanton man with selfish needs and he could never put aside his childlike behavior not even for your twin, His wife.

“No I did not brother” you whispered, your hand brushing the curls back, “she knew it would hurt me if you weren’t mine” he bitterly slurred out.

Silently you thanked your mother for not approving the proposal, You’d always be there for Aegon but you could never stomach his ways.

"She hates you the most" he lazily laughed looked up at you, "you look so much like her she can't bare the sight of your face"

You already knew that. Rhaenyra was actually the one who’d explained it to you in your youth, she’d found you crying underneath a table after tea with your mother, she had insulted your embroidery you’d made for your father and Rhaenyra wiped away your tears.

You were never enough to Alicent, you indulged your self in your studies, you sought out religion just to gain praise that never came, you were the prettiest girl in court yet she always had criticisms about your appearance or your poise.

You watched as his glassy eyes closed and he fell asleep but you continued running your hand through his greasy hair, his words heavy on your mind.

"What did he do now" you heard Aemond say as he leaned against the wall near you, "mother seemed upset"

You were quiet, "she hit him again, told him he wasn't her son" you murmured.

The soft snores filled the gap in the absence of conversation, "how can you love him" Aemond broke the silence watching you closely. "He is terrible, you've seen it firsthand cleaning away his messes, he doesn't deserve it"

You paused your movements, "because if i do not who will? Hel cannot comprehend most emotions, Father hates us, you cannot stand him.” You swallowed taking a shaky breath, “He is right, Mother hates me as well but i am strong unlike him, Aegon is weak he cannot handle the pressure placed on his head.

Aemond came to sit next to you, "she intends to send me away" you stated looking up at him, "to the grand sept the learn the ways of septas"

He nodded watching your face closely, "how do you know this?" You giggled shaking your head, "you learn quite a bit with kindness Brother"

"You do not wish for that?" He asked grabbing your smaller hand, it always fit with his like the missing piece to a puzzle as if you were made for him. He swallowed at the thought of you moving far away from him where he couldn't protect you.

You sighed, "To live a life under false religion just to please the woman that wishes i didn't exist does not sound too appealing to me"

"I am a Targaryen i belong here with my family" you stated in Valyrian, "I am not a Hightower no matter how much I resemble them they will not force my dragon to rot in the Pits because I cannot bring him with me"

"You asked me before if I was truly upset by the idea of father dying but to be honest I am not, I'm more afraid of what mother will do after he's gone" you whispered.

Aemond gripped your hand tighter as the mother tongue came from your soft lips, the beautiful words sounding like a song.

"What if I propose an idea to mother" he hesitated to ask in fear of what you would think. You hummed in confusion, "What is it?"

Aemond looked down at his brother laying his head in the lap he had decided was his, "I shall Marry you"

[flickering-chandelier]

The Alchemy

Pairing: Hockey Azriel x Best Friend’s Sister Reader

Summary: The day Azriel met Cassian’s little sister, he knew he was done for. When he finds out years later that she’s just as interested in him, things become complicated as they try to hide their blooming relationship from Cassian while their hockey team is working hard to win the championship.

Based on this request! 🩷

Warnings: swearing, smut, a sprained ankle lol?

Word Count: 7.1k

The crowd roared as Azriel slapped his stick across the ice, shooting the puck directly past the goalie and into the net. 

His teammates clapped him on the back, grinning as the final buzzer sounded. He had won them the game. People were in his face, excitedly swarming around him on the ice, ready to celebrate, but through it all, his eyes landed on you in the stands. Your smile was bright, your eyes glittering with pride. 

That made his heart flip. He could handle all the reporters, all the overeager fans, all the assholes from his team and opposite teams alike, but your smile could bring him to his knees.

Cassian skated into sight then, and Azriel was immediately brought back down to earth. 

“Congrats bro,” Cassian said. “Maybe the journalists will leave me alone for once,” he smirked.

Azriel rolled his eyes good-naturedly, and sure enough, a woman with a microphone was waiting next to the tunnel, her eyes locked on Azriel, a big smile on her face. 

Cassian was usually the star of the show, the team’s captain, the hotshot golden boy for the fans and media alike. Azriel loved what he did, but he was perfectly happy to blend into Cassian’s shadow. 

It had been that way since they were kids. Azriel and Cassian had met as teenagers at hockey practice. They hated each other at first, but once they started working together, they realized it was better for everyone that way. 

They had been friends for quite a while before Azriel met you. 

It was one of the last games in the season of their senior year. Cassian had stolen the show, but Azirel had gotten a few good shots in, too. The two of them walked out of the locker room together after the game, and you were waiting there, wearing a jersey for the team, your hair tied up with ribbons that matched the team’s colors. 

Azriel was immediately drawn in by your smile, your hair, your eyes. For a moment he fantasized about sauntering up to you, introducing himself, and immediately making you fall in love with him.

But then you looked right past him, grinning at Cassian. “That was so awesome, Cass!”

Cassian grinned, pulling you into a bear hug, before turning to Azriel. “Az, this is my little sister.”

Your smile turned on Azriel for the first time, and he felt his whole world flip on its axis. 

Azriel had already known that Cassian was protective of people that he cared about. He had gotten suspended from a few games the year before because he tackled a player on the other team who had made fun of Azriel. So, he could only imagine how Cassian was with you, with his little sister who clearly looked up to him. 

So, Azriel immediately knew you would never be an option for him. 

That didn’t stop him from falling for you, though. 

---

You cheered at the top of your lungs as Azriel’s shot whizzed into the net, seconds before the final buzzer went off. Your heart soared as his teammates buzzed around him, lifting their sticks in the air in triumph. 

Despite everything around him, his eyes landed on you and you felt your heart lurch. 

It seemed that Azriel had always been able to find you in the stands, no matter what else was happening. You tried to push down the well of emotions in your chest. 

Ever since you had met Azriel, you had felt drawn to him, to his steady, quiet presence. 

He had never shown any interest in you though. In fact, he seemed to avoid you at most functions that you ended up at together. 

You couldn’t exactly blame him. You were just Cassian’s little sister, the annoying girl following them around to all their games. 

Cassian and you had always been close, so you loved being able to support him, but in the privacy of your own mind, you were willing to admit that after you had met Azriel, you were definitely more inclined to go to your brother’s hockey games. 

You watched as Azriel skated toward the reporter, getting through the interview with as few words as possible, as usual. 

The reporter eventually seemed to give up on getting anything substantial from Az, and she called Cassian over, who came up with an easy smile. He had always been good in the spotlight, giving interesting answers, able to work a crowd. 

Azriel looked relieved to get off the ice, out of sight. 

You wished you could follow him, get just a moment with him. 

But you knew that wasn’t in the cards for you.

A few days later, you had gotten out of work early and decided to go watch the boys’ hockey practice. They didn’t let many people in, but Cassian had made sure that you made the list. 

You took a seat fairly close to the rink, your gaze immediately falling on Azriel, mesmerized as you watched him fly across the ice, his brow furrowed with focus, massive frame somehow so graceful in his element. 

Often, you wished you could see his muscles working beneath all that padding, the shape of his shoulders, his biceps, his forearms flexing with each movement.

Cassian barked orders at his teammates, ever the hardworking captain, and you tore your eyes from Azriel long enough to pretend that you were only there to support your brother. 

At the end of practice, Cassian grinned at you, and nodded his head toward the tunnels. “Meet me in the locker room in 10 minutes?”

You gave him a thumbs up and he skated out of sight. You hadn’t been in the locker rooms much. You secretly hoped that Azriel would still be around by the time that you got there. 

Hesitantly, you pushed through the doors into the locker room, your heart racing slightly at the thought of what you might see in there. You were used to being around your brother’s coworkers, but they weren’t usually so... naked.

Frankly you couldn’t tell if your prayers had been answered or if the universe was messing with you as you immediately locked eyes with a shirtless Azriel, a towel wrapped around his waist, his own eyes wide in surprise when he saw you there. 

It took all your strength to maintain eye contact, to not let your gaze dip down to his chiseled chest, still glistening with water droplets from the shower. 

“Hey,” he said, his voice slightly husky. 

Some of their teammates were around in various stages of undress, looking at you and Azriel curiously, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from Azriel. “Hi,” you said, and cleared your throat. “Cassian asked me to come…” you trailed off, feeling unsure of yourself. You couldn’t remember the last time you and Azriel had been together without Cassian’s looming presence. 

He swallowed, and nodded. “Right.”

Before you could think of anything else to say, Cassian sauntered in with an easy smile on his face, in shorts and a t-shirt. 

“Hey! I’m glad you came by, I wanted to talk to you,” he said, as he opened his locker and rifled through it. 

You noticed out of the corner of your eye that Azriel retreated to his own locker, behind you. “What’s up?” You asked.

He shot you his sweetest smile, and you immediately rolled your eyes. “What’s the favor, Cass?”

Laughing, he said, “the team’s having a party soon, and I’m supposed to be in charge of appetizers…” he trailed off, grimacing slightly. 

“Who’s idea was that?” you laughed. 

He shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know how it happened. Would you help me out?”

“Do I get to come to the party?” you raised an eyebrow. 

“Of course.”

“Alright, I’m in,” you smiled. 

“You’re a lifesaver,” he grinned. 

“Oh, I know,” you said, hyper aware of Azriel getting dressed out of sight, behind you. 

“Az and I were going to go get lunch, if you want to come?” Cassian asked.

You swore your heart started beating slightly faster. “Sure,” you said, trying to keep your voice even.

 ---

Azriel kept his features schooled into neutrality as Cassian slid out of the booth and went to the bathroom, leaving you and Azriel alone.

He racked his brain for something to say. He wasn’t great at speaking to people under normal circumstances, much less with you.

“That was a really great shot you made at the last game,” you smiled, somewhat sheepishly, Azriel thought. “I was on the edge of my seat.”

He couldn’t help but smile faintly, his heart leaping at the thought of you watching him intently on the ice, hanging on every move he made. “Thanks.”

Your eyes crinkled in amusement. “I don’t think you understand how talented you all are. I can’t even skate.”

“Really?” he asked, surprised.

You nodded. “I tried a few times when I was a kid, but I was always so clumsy. And Cassian was a natural of course, so I guess that made it harder when I kept falling over and over,” you shrugged. 

“If you wanted to learn, I could teach you,” he said, before he could even really think about it. “It took me a long time to get the hang of it, so I understand.” He added, feeling slightly flustered, but trying his best not to show it. 

Azriel felt relieved when your eyes lit up. “You would really do that?”

“Sure,” he said as nonchalantly as he could.

Your smile was bright. “I would love that. When do we start?”

“Tomorrow afternoon?” He asked. “Meet me at the rink?”

You nodded excitedly, just as Cassian came back. “What are you two meeting at the rink for?” he asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow at Azriel. 

“Az is helping me finally learn to skate,” you said as Cassian slid into the booth next to you. 

“Az is? I never knew you even wanted to learn,” Cassian said, his brow furrowed. 

You shrugged. “Well, I do.”

Cassian looked between you and Azriel for a moment, somewhat skeptically, but then shrugged easily. “Okay, then.”

Azriel could understand why Cassian was a little confused. In all the years that they had been friends, you and Azriel had barely spent any time together, if only because Azriel was purposely keeping his distance from you, hoping that his feelings would eventually diminish. 

He didn’t think this little endeavor would help him get over you. 

---

Your legs felt a bit shaky as you made your way to the rink and you silently cursed yourself. Maybe this was a bad idea. Being around Azriel made you so nervous, and pairing him with ice skates could be a perfect recipe for a broken ankle.

Azriel was already there, casually skating around. You couldn't help but watch him for a moment. It seemed impossible that he had ever had a hard time skating. He looked like he was born to do it.

He glanced up and saw you there, skated over to you then came to a halt, pointing to a bench just outside the rink. “Got your skates?”

You nodded, and sat down to start putting your skates on, your movements awkward and unsure. He watched your every movement, and came over to you when you started tying.

“May I?” He asked, and you just quirked a brow. He smiled faintly. “They'll have to be a lot tighter than that if you want them to stay on.”

“Oh! Yeah, go ahead,” you said.

Azriel tied your laces quickly, with expert precision.

He offered you his hand when he was done and you took it, trying to push down the swell of excitement in your chest.

As soon as you got onto the ice, your nerves overpowered everything else. Your knees felt wobbly and you were sure you would fall down instantly.

Azriel was in front of you, skating backwards slowly, still holding your hand. You gripped Azriel for dear life and your voice shaky, you croaked out, “Azriel, I don't think I can do this.”

Worry clouded his expression, his eyes softening. “You absolutely can. But you don't have to if you don't want to. There's no pressure here, okay?”

You nodded, your eyes locked on his, on the care that he seemed to have for you. It helped you settle down a bit. “What do I do?” You asked. 

He smiled with pride and said, “Skating is all about balance. Stand with your feet shoulder width apart, and try to evenly distribute your weight between both feet.”

You did as you were told, and you already felt a bit better. He nodded with approval. “I'm going to have to let go of you for this next part, okay?”

Your eyes widened in fear, but you swallowed and nodded.

He smiled reassuringly as he slowly took his hand from yours and skated back the slightest bit. “Before you can glide, like you see most skaters do, you're going to march.”

“March?” You asked skeptically.

Azriel laughed, his face lighting up, and you felt your heart thunder in response. You weren't sure you had ever made him laugh before. “Just trust me, okay? Lift one foot up and bring it forward, then do it again with the other. This helps you learn to balance and rely on the skate that's still on the ice.”

When you hesitated, he skated closer to you, and took your hand in his again. “You've got this.”

You took a deep breath and nodded, and he took his cue to skate in front of you.

Following his instructions, you slowly and awkwardly marched, your movements unsure and wobbly, but at least you hadn't fallen yet.

“Is this how you learned to skate?” You asked, needing a distraction.

He barked out a laugh again. “No. I didn't have anybody to teach me, so I mostly just fell on my ass a lot until I figured out what to do.”

Your heart ached for little Azriel. You didn't know much about his past, but you did know it was a lonely, painful one. 

Suddenly, you wobbled significantly, and Azriel said, “Put your hands on your knees whenever you need to regain your balance.”

Quickly you dropped your hands to your knees and felt more steady.

After a while, you felt confident enough to start skating for real, and Azriel walked you through the motions, his eyes laser focused on every movement you made. 

As soon as you started trying to mimic his movements, you fell. Hard.

He winced, skating over to you. “You okay?”

You nodded, trying to keep your breathing even.

“Get on your hands and knees.”

Despite the pain, his words sent a wave of heat through you. Blinking up at him, you said, “Excuse me?”

His eyes widened slightly, the smallest smile on his face. He cleared his throat. “To get up. You need to start from your hands and knees.”

Your cheeks burned as you maneuvered yourself like he told you. You looked up at him. “Now what?”

Azriel's breathing seemed slightly labored, his eyes burning as he looked down at you. You felt like you could hardly breathe. He swallowed, then said, “Put one skate on the ice, balance yourself with your hands, then push yourself up to standing.”

You tried to follow his instructions, but as soon as you got to your feet, your balance was completely off and you would have fallen again if Azriel hadn't quickly gripped your waist, keeping you steady.

He was so close to you that you could feel the heat from his body. You looked up into his eyes, utterly mesmerized, unable to move.

For a few moments, he just held you, eyes boring into yours. Finally he said, “Ready to try again?”

“Okay,” you said quietly, but you didn't move, unwilling to be the one to pull away from him.

It took another moment for him to remove his hands from you, and you instantly felt cold at the absence of him.

Azriel skated backwards, urging you to catch up to him.

You started moving, focusing on the instructions that he gave you, your eyes continuously glancing down to your feet.

“Don't look down, just look at me,” he said gruffly.

You obeyed, your eyes latching onto his. It was steadying, his gaze. In a few moments, you actually did catch up to him, and you were so excited that you forgot to focus on your movements.

You tumbled into Azriel, bringing him down on the ice with you.

He landed on his back with a groan and you landed on top of him, your head landing on his chest.

“I'm so sorry,” you said, starting to scramble up, but his hands landed on your waist again and you couldn't bring yourself to move.

You looked into his eyes, your hands resting on his chest. Even through his sweatshirt, you could feel the hard lines of his muscles. You could hardly breathe.

He lightly brushed a lock of hair off your forehead, his eyes tracing down your face. “Don't be sorry,” he said, his voice huskier than you'd ever heard it.

Without even realizing you were doing it, you inched your face closer and closer to his, like you were being drawn in by a magnet. 

His hand cupped your cheek gently. He whispered your name. And then his lips were on yours.

An electric shock jolted through your body. You leaned even further into him as he kissed you so gently that you thought you might weep.

Your hands traveled up to his face, his hair. His fingers tightened on your waist, and he groaned quietly as you deepened the kiss. 

Suddenly, he pulled away, sitting up, sliding you off of him. “I’m sorry… We shouldn’t.”

Your heart plummeted. “Why?”

He looked pained as he saw the hurt on your face, putting distance between the two of you again. “Cassian,” he said gruffly. “He would kill me.”

“You think he would?” You asked. In all the years that you had been crushing on Azriel, you had never considered how Cassian would feel if the two of you actually got together. 

Azriel let out a humorless laugh. “You’re his little sister. He’s more protective of you than anyone else. Remember how we had to stop him from beating up that guy who broke up with you?”

You did remember. Cassian had been more mad about that breakup than you were. 

“Az,” you said, willing yourself to say the words you had been keeping to yourself for so long. “I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time… If you feel the same way, we shouldn’t let Cassian get in the way.”

His eyes widened as he studied you, his gaze lingering on your mouth. “I never knew,” he said quietly. 

Before you could say anything else, he was pulling you back into him, kissing you harder than before, his movements faster, more sure as he twined his fingers into your hair. 

You gasped at the sudden change in his demeanor. 

It was impossible to tell how long it was that you and Azriel sat on the cold ice, exploring each other for the first time. 

When he finally pulled away, gazing into your eyes, you said, “Maybe he doesn’t have to know. Not yet.”

And just like that, everything changed. 

---  

Azriel had never felt this way in his life. You and him had been sneaking around for the past several weeks, going on dates, and he could hardly believe it. 

You were incredible. Absolutely incredible, and he thanked his lucky stars every day that you were giving him the time of day. 

But then he would think about Cassian, what he would do when he found out, and Azriel would feel so incredibly panicked and guilty that he could hardly function. 

You weren't doing anything wrong. He knew that. You were two consenting adults spending time together.

The sneaking around was getting difficult though. He didn't like hiding anything from his best friend.

“You okay?” You asked beside him, threading your fingers with his.

His heart leaped at how casually you did it, how comfortable it was between you so quickly. He had taken you out to eat downtown, and now you two were taking a walk through the city, the lights twinkling, dancing off your skin.

“Fine,” he said, smiling down at you. 

“Stressing about Cassian?”

He couldn't help but laugh at how quickly you were able to read him. “I’ve just never hidden anything from him.”

You squeezed his hand reassuringly. “We can tell him, if you want to.”

“We should soon. I just don't know how he's going to react.”

You nodded, and he could tell that you were just as nervous as he was. 

He stopped you with a hand on your arm, leading you into an alcove off of the sidewalk. “It'll be okay,” he said softly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “We'll tell him when we're ready.” He leaned down and kissed you gently, and you leaned into him, sighing happily.

---

The day of Cassian's party rolled around, and you walked in with him, carrying a platter of appetizers that you made for him. The whole hockey team, as well as their friends and families were milling around the coach’s massive backyard.

Azriel stood out to you like a beacon in the crowd. You had always felt like you could sense his presence, no matter how many people there were or where he was in any given room. You longed to run right to him, but you knew you couldn’t. 

It was too soon, you kept telling yourself. You and Azriel were still figuring out exactly what you were, and you didn’t want to complicate things between the two of you by letting other people get involved or give their opinion. 

You knew everyone on the team at least a little bit, so you mingled through the crowd until you finally found your way over to Azriel, looking up to find that his eyes were already on you. 

“Hi,” you smiled. 

The side of his mouth quirked up slightly, and you knew he was holding in a smile. He stepped a little closer to you, and you longed to hold his hand, to touch him.

Before either of you could say anything else, Cassian strided up, grinning. “You guys wanna go eat?”

You reigned in a sigh, and focused your attention on Cassian. “Sure,” you said, following him, and shooting a smile over your shoulder at Azriel as he followed. 

The three of you each grabbed a plate of food, then settled in at a crowded picnic table. Azriel slid in next to you as Cassian took the seat opposite. 

“So, I never asked, how did those skating lessons go?” Cassian asked as he dug into his plate. 

You swallowed, and nearly jumped out of your seat as Azriel’s hand landed on your thigh, squeezing lightly. “It was good,” you said, trying to keep your voice nonchalant. 

“She’s a really great student,” Azriel said, his eyes on his plate as his thumb ran slow circles over your skin. 

You took a big drink of water to stop yourself from flushing as his hand wandered higher. 

“Seriously? How many times did you fall?” Cassian asked, clearly amused. 

Azriel’s grip tightened on your thigh, probably remembering just like you were, what had happened when you had fallen. “Only a few, actually,” you said, forcing yourself to keep your eyes locked on Cassian. 

“Impressive. You gonna be playing hockey with us anytime soon?” 

You forced out a laugh. “Definitely not. I’ll need a lot more lessons if I have any hope of that.”

Azriel finally looked at you, offering you the faintest of smiles. “Whenever you want another lesson, just let me know.”

“Okay,” you said casually, turning your attention back to your plate. 

You got through the rest of the party without incident, which was impressive considering all the lingering, discreet touches that Azriel kept giving you.

Azriel came to your apartment after the party had ended. As soon as he walked through the door, he had you up against the wall, kissing you fiercely. 

“You were driving me crazy,” you gasped as he kissed down your neck. 

He laughed into your skin. “You think you weren’t doing the same to me?”

His hands trailed from your face, down your body, lingering on your hips before landing on your ass. 

You moaned quietly, taking his hand in yours and leading him to your bedroom. 

He raised his eyebrows in question as you closed the door behind you. 

Wordlessly, you stepped up to him, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. It started out slowly, gently, but quickly turned heated. 

Grabbing the front of his shirt, you pulled him towards your bed and fell back onto it, tugging on his hand to pull him down over you. You toyed with the hem of his shirt, pulling it up over his head and tossing it to the side. 

Your hands explored his abs, his shoulders, your breath catching at the pure muscle as he kissed your neck down to your collarbone. 

When your hands settled on his belt buckle and started undoing it, Azriel caught your wrist, stilling you. He looked into your eyes, flooded with emotion. “Are you sure?”

You cupped his cheek, studying his face for a moment, your heart swelling with love. “I’m sure.” 

He smiled for a moment, leaning in to kiss you gently before he let go of your wrist. Your hands wandered back down and slowly undid his belt buckle, pushing his pants down past his hips, and he kicked them off from there, not breaking his kiss. 

He pulled back slightly to look at you as he slid the straps of your dress down your arms, kissing your bare shoulders, your exposed chest. He slid your dress down further, just past your breasts. He hummed happily as he ran his tongue over one nipple, his fingers toying with the other. Your toes curled as he raked his teeth along your chest. 

Azriel kept pulling your dress down slowly, kissing his way gently down your stomach, down your legs, until the dress was tossed to the floor. 

“You’re everything,” he murmured, his gaze raking down your naked body. 

You smiled, your heart thundering as you placed your hands on either side of his face and pulled him into a kiss. 

He kissed his way back down your body then, pausing momentarily at your panties, before looking up to you with a smirk, and pulling them down your legs with his teeth.

You gasped as he settled between your legs, licking a line straight up your center, before his tongue dove into you, while his thumb pressed on your clit. 

“Azriel,” you moaned, burying your hands in his hair. 

This just spurred him on further, as he took your ankles in his hands and wrapped your legs around his head, burying himself even deeper in you. 

“Az,” you groaned after a while. “I need you.”

He looked up at you, grinning, before sitting up on his knees, sliding his boxers off, and settling himself over you, his eyes locked on yours. “You ready for me?”

You nodded, your hand threading through the hair at the back of his neck as the other clutched his shoulder. “Please.”

Azriel smiled, nuzzling your nose with his for a moment before he kissed you sweetly, as he slowly slid into you inch by inch. 

He paused when he was fully inside you, pulling back slightly to study your face. 

“I’m good,” you smiled. “More. Now. Please.”

He chuckled, then did as he was told, sliding in and out of you in slow, deep thrusts. 

You groaned, your hands sliding down his muscled back as he leaned down, resting his head in the crook of your neck, sighing contentedly into your skin. 

Together you moved in tandem, until you both found your release, gasping. 

Azriel rolled off of you, pulling your body against his, holding you close. You felt so safe and content, you couldn’t believe it had taken the two of you so long to get to this point.

---

The locker room was empty before the game started. His teammates knew that Azriel often liked to be alone, especially before important games. If they won tonight, they would be in the playoffs. Tensions were high for everyone. 

He was pulling his gear on when you came up behind him, leaning against one of the lockers. You were wearing the team’s colors, your hair tied up with red and gold ribbons, just like the first time he saw you. His heart leaped, as it always did. “How are you feeling?” You asked. 

Azriel shrugged, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you to him, resting his chin on the top of your head. “Better now that you’re here.”

You smiled, leaning into his chest. “You’ve got it, Az.” 

He placed his index finger under your chin, gently tilting your face up to look at him. “Thank you for being here,” he said, kissing you softly. 

Suddenly, you heard someone coming into the locker room, and the two of you sprung apart. Azriel ushered you out the opposite door, into the hallway, near the locker room for the other team.

The two of you breathed a sigh of relief, and Azriel couldn’t help but bring your body to his again. It calmed him down, settled his nerves, to be close to you. 

You tilted your face up to meet his lips in a kiss, and the world melted away until a player from the other team walked out of the locker room, smirking at the two of you. 

“Casey,” Azriel said, his hand resting on the small of your back, trying to keep his cool. He didn’t know Casey well, but he did know that he was an asshole.

Casey looked between the two of you, smirking, before sauntering away without a word. 

Azriel immediately located you as he and his team went out onto the ice. You were out of your seat, clapping and cheering, your eyes locked on him, your smile bright. 

By the second period, Azriel’s team was up two to one, and the other team seemed to be feeling the heat. 

Casey smirked at Azriel as they faced off before the buzzer sounded. “Who was that you were getting cozy with, huh Azriel? Didn't seem like you wanted anyone to know you were with her.”

Azriel knew that he was being baited. He tried to reign in his temper, to keep his cool. He tried to remind himself how important this game was, that he couldn’t afford a penalty right now. 

But then Casey said, “I can see why. She's not exactly spotlight material, is she?”

A growl released from deep in Azriel’s throat, and he launched himself at Casey, slamming him into the ice, before reeling his arm back and connecting his fist with Casey’s jaw. 

Within moments, he was being pulled away and sent to the penalty box, his head spinning, wondering how the hell he was going to explain this to his teammates, to Cassian. He cursed himself for letting Casey get to him, for knowing exactly which buttons to push. 

---

Luckily, they still won the game, despite Azriel’s outburst at the beginning of the final period. You couldn’t comprehend what could have possibly happened to get this reaction from him, and you felt awful as you watched him sitting solemnly in the penalty box while Cassian tried to pull the team together and keep their lead. 

You left right after the game, not wanting to get involved in whatever you knew would go down between Azriel and Cassian. 

Later, after Azriel asked you to come over to his apartment, you practically raced over there, dying to know what happened. 

As soon as he opened the door, his arms were around you, holding you to him like you were the only thing keeping his feet on the ground. 

“Are you okay?” 

He sighed, kissing the top of your head. “I’m getting there. Cassian chewed me out, but I think we’re okay.”

“What happened?” You asked. 

“It was the guy who saw us out in the hallway. He was… he was talking about you. I knew he was baiting me, but I still couldn’t keep it in.”

“It was because of me?”

“No,” he said, running his thumb along your cheekbone. “It was because of him. He just must have known what would make me mad.”

You stood up on your tiptoes to kiss him lightly. “I’m sorry. What did you tell Cassian?”

“That I was feeling tense because of the playoffs, and he baited me,” he raised one shoulder into a shrug. “He didn’t ask for specifics.”

“Well, I’m glad you guys are okay. Congrats on making the playoffs, by the way,” you smiled. 

Azriel smiled faintly, leaning down to kiss you sweetly. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

You sighed, leaning into him further. “We’re going to have to tell him.”

“I know,” he said. “Soon.”

The two of you looked at each other, anchoring yourselves in one another. 

---

For weeks, Azriel had been traveling all over the country with the team for the playoffs, and the two of you had kept in contact as much as possible, face timing whenever Azriel could get alone and texting as often as he could.

Finally, they were playing at home again, the last game before the championship. You didn't want to be a distraction for Az, so you went right to your seat, as close to the ice as you could get. 

You watched them play with bated breath, your eyes glued to Azriel as he soared across the ice. Just before the end of the second period, Azriel made a slapshot, the puck flying right between the goalie's legs and into the net, bringing your team ahead by one. 

The fans erupted into a thunderous applause and as the buzzer sounded, Azriel's eyes locked on you, a grin on his face, his eyes shining. You had no idea how he always managed to find you in a sea of people, but it sent butterflies through your chest every single time.

The energy was high as the players moved into the final period. It seemed like Az's team would take the win without much of a fight from the opponents until the unimaginable happened.

The opponent’s center roughly checked Azriel's shoulder, and when Az stumbled, the center slammed Azriel into the wall, hard. Azriel collapsed onto the ground and another player collided with him.

Even from where you were, you could hear Azriel cry out as he brought his leg up to his chest, wincing in pain.

“Azriel!” You shot up from your seat immediately, racing to the other side of the tunnel where you knew they would take him, praying that they would let you through.

In the chaos, nobody batted an eye at you, and you were waiting for him when Azriel limped into the tunnel, the coach and Cassian holding him up on either side. 

“Az!” You cried, tears brimming in your eyes as you ran up to him, unable to think about the consequences, or anything other than him. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck as gently as you could, and he snaked an arm around your waist. “I'm okay,” he said.

Cassian looked between the two of you, his brow furrowed. “What are you freaking out about? It's probably just a sprain.”

“Oh,” you said hesitantly, forcing yourself to take a step back, out of reach. You looked up at Azriel though. “Are you sure? You looked like you were in a lot of pain.”

He smiled faintly at you, his eyes twinkling. You could tell that he appreciated that you were concerned about him. “Nothing I can't handle.”

Cassian continued to look between the two of you skeptically, then cleared his throat. “I need to get back out there.”

Azriel nodded to both Cassian and their coach. “I can make it by myself.”

They seemed to hesitate, but nodded, and you helped Azriel make his way to see the medics. 

After his ankle was wrapped and it was proven to be just a sprain, you sat with Azriel, running your hand through his hair, leaning against him.

“You were really worried about me back there, huh?” He smiled, kissing your temple.

“Of course I was! I--” you broke off hastily, stopping yourself from saying what you had been feeling for weeks now.

He looked at you expectantly though, raising an eyebrow. “You… what?”

You took a deep breath, and looked into his eyes, placing a hand on his cheek. “I love you, Az.”

His eyes swarmed with emotions for a moment before a smile lit up his face and he kissed you. “I love you, too,” he said.

Moments later, the team rushed into the space, whooping and cheering.

You grinned at Azriel, “Looks like you guys are going to the championship.”

Azriel's smile grew, and he pulled you to him, laughing, before kissing the top of your head.

“I knew it,” Cassian's voice cut through the noise, and you and Azriel froze, looking up to find him staring at the two of you.

“Cass-” you started, but he cut you off.

“What the fuck, guys? How long has this been going on?”

You glanced at Azriel, who settled his hand at your waist comfortingly before looking up to Cassian. “A few months.” 

“Months?” Cassian asked incredulously. “Why didn't you tell me?”

“We weren't sure how you would react,” you said quietly, shrinking into Azriel's side slightly.

Cassian scoffed. “You know what's worse than my best friend dating my little sister? Both of them lying to me about it for months.”

“Cass-” you tried again, but he held up a hand to stop you.

“If we keep talking about this now, I'm going to say something I'll regret,” he said, his voice low. 

He left without another word, throwing a final harrowing glance back at the two of you.

Your heart sank.

---

For days, Cassian avoided Azriel at practice, and from what he’d heard, Cassian wasn’t talking to you at all either. 

“Come on, Cass,” Azriel groaned after practice. “Please talk to me?”

Cassian rounded on him, his eyes burning. “About what? What do you want to talk about?” he said furiously. But then all the tension left his body suddenly and he just looked at Azriel sadly. “She’s my sister, Az. How could you keep this from me?”

Azriel sighed, running a hand through his hair. “We thought it would be best until we… figured things out. We didn’t want to get you all freaked out if it didn’t go anywhere.”

“And is it? Going anywhere?” Cassian asked. 

Azriel swallowed, he felt his jaw tick. “I love her, Cassian. And she loves me.”

Cassian swore, rolling his eyes. “So at what point were you going to tell me?”

“I -- don’t know,” Azriel said honestly. “I’m so sorry. We both are.”

They were both silent for a moment, until Cassian blew out a breath and said, “Just give me some time, okay? I’m happy for you both, but… I’m going to need time to stop being pissed at you both for lying to me.”

Azriel nodded, partially relieved. Time, he could handle. 

The championship game finally came, and though Azriel and Cassian weren’t quite at the point that they used to be, things were slowly getting better between them. 

Cassian gathered the team before the game, hyping them up, always the strong captain leading his troops into battle. 

The game went by quickly, and every time Azriel would feel some pain in his ankle or get caught up in the stress or the pressure, his eyes would find you, and your smile would ground him, help him lock back into the game, to the task at hand. 

There were only a few seconds left in the game when Azriel found an opening, slapping the puck past the goalie and into the net. 

The crowd cheered, but Azriel only had eyes for you. You formed your hands into a heart and held it up toward him as you cheered, blowing him a kiss. 

The final buzzer sounded off, and everyone celebrated around him, yelling and thumping their chests, thrusting their hockey sticks into the air. Cassian was about to hand him the trophy, but Azriel smirked before skating over to where you were waiting on the sidelines, lifting you up and setting you onto the ice before bending you over his arm and kissing you like he’s never kissed anyone before. 

He could feel you smile against his lips, your hands gripping him for dear life. 

Later, after interviews and photos and speeches, Azriel pulled his jersey over his head and tossed it to you. 

You looked up at him, your eyes dancing with amusement before you slipped it over your head. It was huge on you, and you laughed as you rolled up the sleeves and the hem, tucking it into the front of your jeans. 

“How does it look?”

He growled quietly, pulling your body into his. “Like I want to hear you scream my name while you wear nothing but the jersey.”

Your eyes widened, biting your lip. 

Before Azriel could get any further into his fantasies though, Cassian sauntered up to the two of you, smiling. 

“Hey, it’s my brother, the captain of the champions!” you grinned, bounding up to him and giving him a hug. 

Cassian grinned, wrapping his arms around you. 

“Look,” he said, leveling you both with a serious expression as you pulled away and went back to Azriel’s side. “I love you both, and I’m happy for you, so I’m not going to hold a grudge. It must be the real thing if Az just blew off the trophy like it was nothing,” Cassian smirked at Azriel. “But don’t lie to me ever again,” he said. 

“We won’t,” you cut in quickly, looking at Cassian with pleading eyes. “We’re so sorry, Cass.”

“I know you are,” Cassian said. “Now, let’s go celebrate, shall we?”

Azriel guided you through the huge party long into the night, not taking his hand off you for a moment, showing the whole world who his heart belonged to.

@loving-and-dreaming @birdsflyhome @hanuh @sheblogs @iambored24601 @thalia-as-blog @melmo567 @evergreenlark @ecliphttlunar @bookloverandalsocats @headacheseason @sillysillygoose444 @yourqueenlilith @mariamay02 @halibshepherd @azrielshadows1nger @cigvrette-dvydrevms @andreperez11

[moonxytcn]

Heyyy (btw before I request anything ur writing is literally pure GOLD) anyways could u write about how the reader and billie have always been friends since childhood up to her newest album hit me hard and soft. Billie is on tour and the reader always finds a way to get front row tickets to her bestfriends shows. A few days before tour started the reader posted a TikTok with billie lying across her lap on the sofa. In the comments there was lots of speculation about a flirty friendship (behind closed doors the reader and billie both knew that was true). A few days later Billie was performing in LA. An hour or so into the show billie starts singing ‘Billie Bossa Nova’ from her album happier than ever. When it gets to the lyrics “nobody saw me in the lobby…𝐧𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐰 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐬” Billie gave a smirk to the crowd instantly locking eyes with the reader and winking knowing full well that due to that TikTok posted a few days before, EVERYBODY saw her in your arms.

Nobody saw me in your arms

| Billie Eilish x fem!reader

summary – Billie and you finally talk about how you feel after years of hidden feelings and fan speculation

warnings – fluffy

a/n – heyyy thank you so much for the request!! hope you like it

| English is not my first language so there may be some errors.

| Masterlist —✽— Pinned Post

   ㅤ✯ ━━━━━━ ✿ ✫ ✿ ━━━━━━ ✯

–––

Billie’s voice echoes through the packed venue, the energy in the room palpable as she performs each song with the intensity and emotion that only she can bring. You’ve always been amazed at how she can captivate an audience, how she can make every single person in the room feel like she’s singing directly to them. But tonight, as you stand front row, the bass reverberating through your chest, you know that, for at least one song, she really is singing to you.

It’s been like this for as long as you can remember. From the time you were kids, Billie had a way of drawing people in. You still remember the days when she’d sneak into your room with a mischievous grin, her hair dyed some new, vibrant color, and a guitar slung over her shoulder. Back then, it was just the two of you, making up songs and laughing until your sides hurt. You’d listen to her dreams of becoming a star, and though you always believed in her, it was hard to imagine the tiny spark of a girl next door turning into the powerhouse standing on stage tonight.

You’ve been by her side through it all. From those early, impromptu jam sessions in your living room to the first time she played in front of a real crowd, you’ve watched her grow into the artist she is today. And no matter how big she’s gotten, how many millions of fans scream her name, she’s always made sure you were right there with her.

When Billie’s latest album, 'Hit Me Hard and Soft', dropped, you were one of the first people to hear it. She’d sent you the demos before the rest of the world even knew it existed, nervously biting her lip as she waited for your reaction. Of course, you loved it. How could you not? The album was everything she was—bold, vulnerable, raw, and beautiful. It was a testament to everything she’d been through, and everything you’d gone through together.

But of all the songs she has ever made, one has caught her attention. 'Billie Bossa Nova' was different from the rest, and when you first heard it, your heart skipped a beat. The lyrics were sultry, teasing, full of secrets whispered behind closed doors. You recognized yourself in the song, in the way Billie’s voice dipped and softened, in the way she played with the words like they were meant just for you. And you knew, in that moment, that your friendship had never been just a friendship.

You never talked about it—not really. Sure, there had been moments, stolen glances, lingering touches, that said more than words ever could. But neither of you wanted to ruin what you had. The connection between you was too special, too rare to risk by putting a label on it. So you kept it quiet, hidden behind the walls of inside jokes and childhood memories.

But a few days before the tour kicked off, something changed. You’d posted a TikTok of the two of you lounging on your sofa, Billie sprawled across your lap, her head resting comfortably against your chest. It was an innocent video, just a moment of you two being you, but the comments quickly exploded with speculation. People saw what was between you, even if you hadn’t fully admitted it to yourselves. The rumors of a "flirty friendship" spread like wildfire, with fans dissecting every interaction, every glance, every smile.

Billie had laughed it off when you showed her, her eyes twinkling with that familiar, mischievous glint. "Let them talk", she’d said, and you both agreed to keep it under wraps, to keep the world guessing.

And now, here you are, in the middle of her sold-out LA show, and you can feel the anticipation building. The setlist is winding down, and you know 'Billie Bossa Nova' is coming. You’ve been to every show so far on this tour, using every connection you have to secure front-row tickets. It's become your little tradition, a way to remind her that no matter how big her world gets, you'll always be there, front and center.

The lights dim, and the crowd hushes as the familiar, sultry beat of 'Billie Bossa Nova' starts to play. Billie steps to the edge of the stage, her gaze scanning the audience, and you can feel your heart start to race. You know this moment is for you.

As she sings, her voice dripping with honeyed tones, she sways to the rhythm, her eyes locking with yours. The crowd disappears, the world fades away, and it’s just the two of you, sharing a secret that no one else can touch. Then she gets to the line that makes your breath hitch every time: "Nobody saw me in the lobby…" She pauses for a beat, and you see the corner of her mouth quirk up in a playful smirk. "…nobody saw me in your arms."

And then she winks.

It’s quick, almost imperceptible to anyone not paying attention, but you catch it. Your stomach flips, a rush of warmth spreading through you as you realize what she’s just done. With that one simple gesture, she’s acknowledged everything. The TikTok, the rumors, the truth behind closed doors. She’s letting you know that she remembers, that she sees you, and that she’s just as affected as you are.

The crowd erupts into cheers, but you barely hear them. Your eyes are glued to Billie, your heart pounding as she finishes the song, still holding your gaze. When the final note fades, she blows a kiss to the audience, and you know that it’s meant for you.

The rest of the concert passes in a blur, your mind stuck on that moment, on the way she made you feel like the only person in the world. When the show finally ends, and the lights come up, you make your way backstage, your pulse racing with anticipation.

Billie’s waiting for you, her face flushed with the afterglow of the performance. "So." She says, a teasing lilt in her voice as she leans against the wall, "how’d you like the show?"

You roll your eyes, but you can’t keep the smile off your face. "You know I loved it."

"Good." She replies, her eyes sparkling. "Because that little wink? It was just for you."

Your breath catches as she steps closer, her gaze never leaving yours. "Billie, about that TikTok—" You start, but she cuts you off with a soft laugh.

"Don’t worry about it." She says, her voice low, almost a whisper. "Let them talk, remember?"

"But…" You hesitate, unsure of how to put everything you’re feeling into words. "But what if we want more than just letting them talk?"

She’s quiet for a moment, her expression softening as she reaches out to take your hand. "Then maybe it’s time we stop hiding." She says gently. "We’ve been dancing around this for years, and I’m tired of pretending. Aren’t you?"

You nod, your heart swelling with relief and something deeper, something that’s been building between you for as long as you can remember. "Yeah." You whisper, squeezing her hand. "I’m tired of pretending too."

Billie smiles, and it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. "Good." She says, pulling you into a hug that feels like coming home. "Because I want you in my life—front row, center stage—where you belong."

As you hold each other, the noise of the world fades away, and it’s just the two of you again, just like it’s always been. But this time, there are no more secrets, no more hiding. Just the truth, out in the open, for everyone to see.

[murphy-kitt]

Ectober Day 4 - Came Back Wrong

Word Count: 1,645

Tags: Angst, Character Death

AO3

—

Jazz didn’t hate the ghosts at first.

But now she loathes them.

Back when her parents research was merely myth, Jazz hadn’t bothered to focus on the theories or speculation they spurred out. Why would she?

Every waking minute at Fentonworks was spent talking about ghosts. Ghost this, ghost that. What new weapons they had conjured up (to her, it’d seemed stupid. Why did you need defence against things that weren��t real?).

Her own mind didn’t need plagued by ghosts all hours. But now, admittedly, it’s all she thinks about. She doesn’t think of them in the way her parents do.

The hatred may be the same, but the science—that doesn’t matter. She doesn’t want to cut them up or learn what a core is.

All she wants is revenge.

Because it was the ghosts that killed Danny, in the end. That stupid, stupid portal.

And in a right mindset, she’d blame her parents, their negligence. The practicality of it was, that it had been her parents fault. She was aware enough to know logically that Jack and Maddie Fenton had been the reason.

But the reason for their portal? Was their obsession with ghosts. And so it became deliberate ignorance.

Directly it might’ve been her parents, but if their obsession with ghosts hadn’t happened then portal would’ve never existed and her baby brother wouldn’t be dead.

The night is dark as Jazz sits by her desk, blinds open as she watches for any sightings of ghosts outside. Her eyes are heavy, a mix of academic drag and grief. Which one prevails, she doesn’t know.

She knows Danny would want her to keep going academically. And although Danny was never spiteful, merely witty, it feels important to do this. To..get justice…closure?

Jazz picks up the ghost scanner with a trembling hand. It constantly buzzes, a malfunction that her parents never fixed, but she doesn’t care. It’s the one bit of tech she trusts to be reliant.

A rare moment of determination, she’d stolen it from the lab when they weren’t looking. Her dad would probably think he’d misplaced it.

“Come on, come on.” She narrows her eyes, feeling as frustrated as she had on her last exam. Her mind doesn’t work the same way anymore.

Once studying was done with a breeze, but now this plagues her. Danny’s death. The emptiness. Her parents are constantly working.

Of course, she still gets good grades, despite being told she’s relieved of all assignments for the year. But it feels more like an obligation, than something she used to enjoy.

Perhaps this is what the burnout Danny used to describe is. Danny was never as academically competent, always slower but eventually getting there.

Now justice is all she lives for. Any will do. Any target.

She just needs…violence? To rant? Anger? She doesn’t know.

Just something.

Something to feel anything but the deep dread weighing down on her, tethering her to an endless cycle of grief.

And then the scanner starts wailing, making Jazz tense slightly. She relaxes, before checking the small screen.

“A loud noise, so a powerful ghost surely?”

And she’s right.

Ghost: Phantom.

Power Level: 7.8

Current Core Usage: 80%

Jazz interprets, given the ghosts core usage, that it’s currently in a fight with another one. Plays hero, of sorts.

Phantom’s the worst one for her. He’s never done anything to her—but she hates him.

He’d appeared a few weeks after the portal had opened, whilst everyone was still reeling over Danny’s death. Yet, at that time Amity couldn’t ever have expected the paradigm shift Phantom was about to throw them into.

Ghosts everywhere. Constant fights. Damage. Already grieving and to blame parents wearing themselves down even more to defend the town.

Albeit, not very well, but she didn't dare say that. They’d already lost Danny, they didn’t need to lose the ghost hunting too.

Without another word, Jazz slips on her winter jacket, slipping open the door and down the stairs. Scanner in one hand, compact ectogun tucked into her belt.

She can hear her parents' snores echo from upstairs. Good. They won’t miss her for a while.

Cold air freezes her to her bones as she steps out into the street, instantly looking up at the sky. Dark blue and empty, only a few stars twinkling.

She’s sure if Danny was here he'd tell her what constellations they were.

“Where are you?” she grits out, watching as the small screen on the scanner shows a bright green dot, about two blocks ahead. There’s another dot too, smaller and weaker, before it disappears off the map. Jazz presumes Phantom has captured or weakened the ghost, whatever he does.

So she needs to be fast.

Within less than a minute, Jazz makes it to the street where the scanner showed, then shoves the scanner into her pocket. She doesn’t need to alert her presence.

And there he is.

Phantom is smaller up close than she’d initially thought, although no one at Amity has ever got a good glance. His back is facing towards her, the black of his jumpsuit glistening under a street lamp.

Something cylindrical in his hands has captured his attention, probably why he’s not noticed her yet. Jazz strains her neck to look, but can’t see.

Phantom. The ghost that’s put her parents through so much hell.

The ghost that’s, whilst Amity was still reeling from Danny, racked up the problems on their list by causing destruction to infrastructure and pointless money. All with a side of witty banter.

“You.” Jazz tries to steady her voice, feeling the grief trickle through. All this, for her brother.

She never got to grieve properly. No one did. How were they supposed too, with ghost fights all around?

Phantom’s reaction is immediate. His back stiffens and he swivels around.

The eyes. They’re a piercing lime green, just like the portal. The portal that killed Danny.

“What do you want?” Phantom’s asks, tone initially surprised but flattening. He’s younger than Jazz expected. Fifteen, at most.

Near the same age as Danny.

“What do you think?” Her eyes narrow, reaching for the ectogun attached to her belt. She doesn’t expect a logical answer.

Of course Phantom won’t know why she’s here, or what she’s after. He’s just a ghost with an obsession of being some copy-paste comic hero.

“I—I don’t know.” The ghost mumbles, eyes now averted down to his left hand. He tucks the cylindrical device under his shoulder before tracing a round shape on his left palm.

That’s…strange. Jazz thinks. Not the answer, but his behaviour. Is he thinking of something in the past? Better yet, he’s still here. Usually Phantom, at least to news reports, is enigmatic, and never likes being filmed.

So the fact he even turned in the first place is perplexing.

But then she thinks of Danny. Buried in the cemetery, grave stricken of flowers due to the quickness of their grief. Amity bombarded with attacks on the constant, never any peace.

All Phantom’s fault. At first, perhaps (the attacks) not. But over the months, he’s gotten quite a reputation. She’s sure he has some sort of control over Amity. That ghosts come to Amity now just for the sake of fighting him.

When he’s really just a five-foot nothing skinny teenager like her brother.

If Phantom is gone, she’ll finally get a break. Get to grieve for Danny. Danny can get the justice and tribute he deserves.

The ectogun is sleek in her hand, tucked under her coat. She knows what she’s doing, having received multiple lessons from her parents after Danny’s death. They didn’t want to lose her too.

Unlatch the safety trigger, quickly aim, shoot.

It’s that simple. She points.

”Please! Please—don’t do that!” Phantom pleads, “You don’t know what you’re doing—please, put it down!”

—

“Please, Danny! I need you!” She cries out. She’s in Danny’s room, the bed still unmade, clothes still strewn about.

Untouched from when Danny had last left it. He’d gone into the lab, and that was it. Electrocution, they told her.

He’d been barely hanging on at the hospital. And then his body couldn’t take it any longer.

Her brother is gone.

—

The next thing Jazz knows is the cold pavement underneath her body, sitting with her knees drawn up to her chest on the curb. The ectogun is a few feet away, glittering in the lamplight.

”I can’t—“ she sniffles, not even realising it. Her cheeks are damp, eyes stinging.

”What’s wrong?” An echoey voice besides her. Phantom. His eyes are narrows in concern. He sits near her, but leaves a gap.

Why’s he still here? He should’ve gone long ago.

“What’s wrong? My brother is dead and his body was barely cold before you waltzed in with your stupid puns and caused damage everywhere!” The anger radiates through Jazz’s body as she scowls at him, “My brother’s death was cast aside because of you. My parents never got time to grieve, none of us did. Too busy expecting another ghost attack or repairing damages.”

“Your brother?” Is all Phantom responds. Wiping her eyes, Jazz takes a glance at him. He’s hunched over, grimacing with an expression she can’t quite read.

”I just want Danny back.” She chokes out, wiping her eyes again, feeling the tears fall.

He’s gone. Only fourteen. What sort of age is that to die? Killed at the invention of their own parents. She’ll never hear his (admittedly annoying) chatter about space, nor have their petty arguments again.

Even the times he got on her nerves meant something.

”Jazz, I—“ Phantom starts to say, but freezes.

As does Jazz.

”How do you know my name?” She tilts her head, voice sharp.

She wipes her eyes, again, blinking back the bleary vision.

Then looks right into Danny’s green eyes.

[arjudy224]

Visiting an old friend

Ghosts from her past chased her away from Gotham. Now, that she's back at home some things are trying to bubble to the surface.

Prequel: Death of a family

The Intern: Day one

The Intern: The Laughing Fish

The Intern: Busy Work

The Intern: Outreach Gala

The Intern: Visiting an old friend

The Intern: Chemical Valley

The Intern: Billionaire Boys Club

After the 36th topographic map of the day, my eyes begin to glaze over. Why do we still have physical maps from the 1800s? I swear if Gordan accidentally dropped a cigarette all of GCPD would burst into flames.

Interrupting my theory, a group of voices calls me over to Gordan's desk. The colorful group of characters causes me to raise an eyebrow. Whatever it is, it must be serious if the batfamily is involved.

"You knew that missing Wayne boy, didn't you?"

I nod at Gotham's gang of vigilantes. Nightwing winks at me. I flash him a smile.

"Which one? From what I've heard, Mr. Wayne adopts a new orphan every other day." I remark in a smug tone of voice. Nightwing lets out a light laugh.

"Jason."

The years of learning to cope with this grief disappear. All of a sudden, I am 15 again wondering if the boy I liked would talk to me at school. I should have known he would come up eventually. My smile drops.

"Briefly... We went to school together." I elaborate carefully weighing out the correct reply.

"How would you describe the word "brief," Ms. L/N?" Detective Montoya asks sliding a few photos in my direction.

The photo on top was the last Christmas before he went "missing".

We had spent the entire day working on a book report when Alfred announced that he was making x-mas cookies. Stumbling to our feet, Jay's older brother, Dick, waited impatiently with a bag of flower. The two brothers had bickered over their gingerbread house stability until I lightly threw a tuff of flower at Dick. Before I knew it, Jason held my arms to my sides while Dick emptied a bag of flower on my head. Alfred had captured the photo as I put Jason in a headlock. All three of us beamed at the camera. My hair smelled like flower for weeks afterword, but it was worth it.

The next photo was my birthday. Jason and I had taken a road trip to Metropolis to see my family. The camera caught the blush on my cheeks as he kissed my forehead. The candles were still lit.

The piles of photos make me dizzy. Fall break. Our first winter. Mixed in the photos are handwritten notes.

Got a surprise for you this evening. Wear something nice ;)

-J

Meet me at the top of Wayne Tower

-J

A wave of emotions floods my senses. I lost all of that in the move to Metropolis. Staring directly at the reclaimed memorabilia, I frown. Maybe it was stolen all along.

"Why do you ask Detective?" I ask analyzing the box.

"An anonymous source sent these a few days ago."

"Does this look familiar?" He questions dangling a rusted Robin pendant. A dried splotch of blood covered the typical silver exterior.

I stop breathing. That's not possible... It was in the casket. Taking the necklace in my hands, I gently pry the mechanisms open to reveal a familiar engraving: Next time you fly away, Don't forget about me at home. I love you, Robin.

"Where did you get that?" I whisper breathlessly.

The blood slowly drains from my face. The room starts moving. Years of pent of sorrow slam against the dam of my mind.

"Uhhh.. I told you it was..."

"No." I snap suddenly addressing the whole group, "Leave me out of this. Do not make me relive his death."

Turning on my heel, Nightwing stops me from leaving.

"I'm sorry Y/N. I know this must be painful for you, but...."

"But what?" I demand, "That is not my life anymore."

Batman finally speaks up.

"Because someone left these on your desk"

The room goes silent. What?

I frown.

"Who?"

"We don't know yet. We wanted you to be aware. The past always finds a way back to us."

Batman's compassionate gaze fuels my rage. I don't want his empathy.

Finding a crowbar was the easy part. It was tracking down the Clown Prince of Crime that proved to be the challenge. Nightwing was already ten steps ahead due to his bat training. By the time I had stumbled into his operation, it was far too late for either one of us to back out.

The Joker's pale skin contrasts the blood dripping from his forehead beautifully. With each slam of the crowbar, I imagine I'm avenging him. What does Batman always say? Justice. Well, this is justice. The blood splatter clouds my vision, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm feeding into whatever plan he has. The wheezing laughter after every bludgeon causes goosebumps to form across my skin.

"Nightwing, you want to be a part of this?" I call out extending the bloody crowbar.

There is no response. I pause. Where the hell is he?

After one last kick, I search the hallways for the chatty superhero.

Right. Left. Right. Left. The winding hallways are a maze.

"Y/N!" Nightwing chokes out when I walk in.

Sprinting to the man, I examine his restraints. These are precise. Whoever did this must have been incredibly skilled... There is a sharp crack against my skull. Shooting pain erupts from the spot. I black out before I can register what happened.

Batman had found both of us bound and beaten a few days later. The Joker left us alive as a joke. The brand on my forearm tingles from the memory. Joker always thought it was funny to leave me alive with the physical reminder branded on my skin that I had ... failed.

Is this some kind of sick joke?

Glancing at the clock, I relish the end of my shift.

"Keep me updated on any developments." I say, "I've got something I need to do."

"And what's that?" Nightwing calls out.

Grabbing my purse, I pause before replying.

"Visit an old friend."

The full moon illuminates my path, but I could find my way even in complete darkness. It used to be second nature. Follow the main road. Sneak past the main gate that we used to climb over. Avoid the cameras. No need for Bruce to get paranoid. The lonely gravestone stares blankly at me. After all these years, the tears still come.

“Hey Jay,” I say with a pained smile, “It’s been a while.”

The familiar suffocation knocks me off my feet. I sit cross-legged at the base of the grave. The years of weathering have chipped away at the integrity of the stone, yet it stands tall. Vines have grown around the other graves in the area. Something tells me that a certain Butler may be why his grave is intact. A cluster of fallen leaves blanket his plot of land.

“I hate to say it Jay, but you look like shit,” I murmur dusting a few fallen leaves away from the plot. "I leave you for two years and all of a sudden you let yourself go. What would Alfred think?”

Running my fingers through the thick patches of grass, I ramble about the last couple years.

"I owe you 20 bucks." I start, "Nygma is terrible at poker."

The Iceberg Lounge hosts a variety of sins, but Eddie Nygma lost most of his blackmail money during a particularly bad game. For such an intelligent man, one would think he would be able to tame his boasts for the sake of the game. He couldn't.

A shadowy figure snaps a twig behind me. Turning my head, a familiar butler greets me with a smile.

“Ms. L/N, Welcome home.”

Alfred stands tall at my side. The last couple of years have deepened the already present lines on his face. However, his smile lines show proof of his last few years of joy.

“Hey Alfie, did you miss me?” I question climbing to my feet.

“Of course,” he responds,” I had nobody left to eat my cookies.”

I laugh at that before hugging the older gentleman. Dick could eat a platter of baked goods within seconds, but I appreciate the thought.

"Right," I begin, "Because you wouldn't be able to find anybody to eat your cookies...."

"None as entertaining as you Ms. L/N."

I beam up at the man. Always so charming.

"I'll take it as a compliment."

The older man wraps his jacket around himself tight. A frigid breeze shakes the trees.

“Why don’t you stop by for some tea? It’s chilly out here alone.”

I smile wistfully glancing back to the manor.

“I’d love to…. Another time. I’ve got a crazy load at work right now."

"Well Ms. L/N, you are always welcome. You know that."

I frown rolling a piece of grass in between my fingers.

"Besides," Alfred continues, "I get awfully lonely without my inside reporter of the Gotham social scene. "

Rolling my eyes, my smile reappears.

"You are such a gossip." I retort with a playful slap.

"Every day, I deal with costumed vigilantes who want to fight corruption in this city. I deserve to have a moment of petty gossip. Especially with one of my favorite girls."

__________________________________________________________

On a nearby roof, a shadow peers through the darkness. Maybe it was cruel of Jason to lead a trail back to his death. Nothing about the situation they were in seemed fair. But... Jason saw the way Dick looked at her when she first got back to Gotham. The word cruel doesn't explain how horrific it was to come back and find that everybody you loved replaced you. After years of working to make a name for himself, none of it mattered. Even in death, he didn't matter.

Tag list:

@nosyrobin, @jjsmeowthie,@soltik, luna-zendra-star,

[softlymaximoff]

I loved you at your darkest

The Sun, Moon and Stars AU

18+ ONLY MEN & MINORS DNI (blank blogs will be blocked you do not have my permission to republish my work onto any platform.

— A/N: sorry it took foreverrrrrr, no one’s dead woohoo

— Summary: without your sun, the moon could only do so much until she herself was pleading for the warmth of her lover to return.

— Characters: WandaNat x Reader

— Warnings: ANGST, serious injuries (Wanda), subtle anxiety attack, fluff (only in the beginning SORRY), close call with death (Wanda), mentions of brief Nat’s past.

— Word Count: 2.3k

The air was heavy with a dull ache that nobody dared to disturb. You were grieving, Nat was grieving, the whole compound was dreading the awaiting call from Fury himself. It had been two more weeks with Wanda gone, two weeks since Nat confessed her need for you and she hadn’t left your side. She’s follow you around like a ghost, even if she wasn’t there physically, she’d lay out some of her favourite stolen clothes from Wanda’s side of the closet for you to wear, she’d do your hair the night before and braid it like Wanda would. She’d leave sticky notes as you had been doing on random objects you commonly use and she’s even spray some of Wanda’s vanilla and honey body mist around your shared room. She was trying so hard to compensate for Wanda not being there it was painful.

Today was no different, she’d woken up from yet another nightmare about the witch in battle and pulled you in closer trying to ground herself with something but nothing was easing her worries. Your body melted into her arms instinctively and she took a deep ragged breath trying to regain her composure but when you finally opened your eyes you were quick to comfort her. “Sorry for waking you up” she sniffled and wiped her eyes harshly, stilling when you grabbed her hands and kissed her knuckles. “Don’t do that Natty, Wanda says it’s bad for your eyes” you gave her a sad smile as tears fell down her perfectly carved cheekbones. “Where is she Y/n, where is my sun” she openly sobbed into your chest and you could do nothing but comfort the upset Widow.

“She has to come back, she’s Wanda” you kissed the top of her head (much like Wanda would) and she nodded tearfully, completely pliable in your arms. You loved when she was this soft and vulnerable but you hated that it was because of the situation the three of you were in. No longer than ten more minutes had passed and she was sound asleep in your arms. Hopefully the two of you could have a little more of a sleep in considering it had just passed 5am. The next time you woke up was a much nicer and warmer reason as Natasha opened the blinds and the sun was hitting directly onto the bed. “Hi Natty” your voice hoarse from the slumber and she gracefully manoeuvred herself onto your body and kissed your cheek. “Hi malyshka” she whispered and let her body fall into yours.

“Can we make Wand’s blueberry pancakes please” she mumbled into your collarbone and you stuttered at the feeling, not used to her being this affectionate with you. “Mhm, can you pass me her hoodie” you breathed in the scent of her strawberry and rose shampoo as she matched your breathing, the two of you falling in a synchronised rhythm. The two of you finally slipped out of bed, dressing yourselves in your shared clothes, Natasha braiding your hair into two French braids and you doing her very subtle and minimal makeup while sitting in the bathroom sink. Domestic, home, loved. To be loved is to be understood and the two of you were at the point where there was nothing else in the way of breaking your trust. By the time you two made it to the kitchen, everyone had had their breakfast and were on their way to start their own days.

Natasha got the utensils, you got the ingredients and you moved gracefully around each other. The occasional banter with flour or batter had made the room light up room with love and warmth. Something the compound had been missing since Wanda’s mission. “Detka you’ve got flour in your hair I did so nicely” Nat whined playfully and gasped as you swiped batter on her lips. “Oh boo, now you’ve got pancake on your lips I glossed so nicely” you fake pouted and she rolled her eyes before surprising you with a kiss on the lips. “Now we’re matching” she held in a giggle at your shocked face.

The two of you finished up making breakfast and sat down next to each other, Natasha’s hand brushing against yours every now and then providing much needed comfort. The sound of the avengers jet made your head shoot towards the main entrance and before you could even process what it was, Natasha was already at the door swinging it open. Could it be? Was Wanda finally home? Your pancakes left on the bench and fork full of a piece was dropped, not caring about the potential mess it made. Your breathing came in quick and you were out the door with your girlfriend not far ahead of you.

In the distance you could see Tony carrying Wanda bridal style as he also limped out of the jet. She was here. Wanda was home. The minute you reached the pair you could see the damage on your Wanda. She was bruised, cut up and barely conscious but you didn’t care, she was home, alive. Natasha’s voice was the first you heard as she began harassing Tony for details but the man just heaved and groaned, mumbling something about medbay. “Nat, hey look at me Miss double agent. Take her to medbay get Bruce to check her out, she needs it bad” he panted as he transferred the witch into her arms. Steve came running out and greeted the genius with a warm but stern hug and helped him into the compound, assumingly taking him to Dr Cho.

You were speechless as you followed Nat, emotions swimming in your eyes and your heart beating abnormally fast. You didn’t care, you wanted Wanda. You stayed awfully quiet as Nat rushed her on the medbay bed, years of training for the widow prepared her to hook her up to vitals before Bruce got to the room. “Read her over Bruce please” she was desperate, her voice wavered and she choked back a sob. She needed Wanda and you knew it so you stayed by the door watching your girlfriend worry about her love. You could feel your heart tightening each time Nat choked on her sobs, your chest was hammering with an uneven rhythm and your head was swimming with thoughts but you held it all in. Silent tears fell onto your cheeks and you rubbed at them hastily, not wanting to draw attention to yourself, Wanda was in pain and you were selfishly upset when you were completely fine.

“She’s a fighter Nat, she’s barely conscious, I hate to be the one to say it but if the boys had waited any longer I’m not sure it would have been the same welcome home, you’d hoped for” Bruce admitted quietly as he put her on a higher drip and pretty much an oxygen mask as you’d briefly peered over the two standing over the medical bed. He stitched up her upper right forearm as a deep gash revealed itself when the makeshift bandage was removed and you held in a guttural sob at the sight. She was completely broken, every inch of her body was covered in bruises and scratches and you hated it. It made you physically sick, the fact that she was out there and almost died was a realisation you never wanted experience again. You heard muffled talking in the room and tried to understand what they were saying but the sound of your own heart beating in your ears and the small tremble in your body made you completely unable to focus as to what their conversation actually was.

A soft touch to your chin made you recoil back and tense up as your eyes darted to the intruder in front of you. “Hey, hey look at me, that’s it there you go. Hi baby. She’s okay kotenok, she’s okay” Natasha whispered in the silence of the room and your composure broke. You crashed yourself into your girlfriend’s arms and let out (what Natasha thought) the most heartbroken yet relieved sob she’d ever heard as the series of emotions washed over you like a freight train. “She- she’s okay. Wanda’s okay” you choked back on your tears and struggled to get some air in, Natasha rubbing a soothing hand along the small of your back. “Yeah malysh, yeah she is” she kissed your temple and just held your fragile form, humming one of Wanda’s familiar Sokovian lullabies. “I’ll leave you ladies to it, she’s okay, bandaged up properly and should be up in a few hours” Bruce smiled sadly at the scene he just witnessed and made his exit, closing the door in an act of privacy and calling out to F.R.I.D.A.Y to limit the access to the medbay rooms, only allowing the two of you and himself in case of emergency to enter.

Natasha brought you to the edge of Wanda’s bed and grabbed your reluctant hand, placing on top of Wanda’s chillingly cold one. “She’s home” she murmured behind you and silent tears ran down your cheeks. It was silent for a while, Natasha opting to sit on the end of the bed, patting the space between her la for you to sit. You leaned right back into your girlfriend’s front, lap rubbing circles on the back of Wanda’s hand to ground yourself. “Hi Wands” your voice was small and hesitant,afraid if you spoke any louder she’s break even more. “You were really brave” you spoke again, finding an odd comfort in the moment. “Our brave girl” Nat spoke behind you and you smiled genuinely, hearing the love in her voice. You knew she was never good with showing her heart to people but with you two, she had grown to learn how to love without needing to say much.

A few more hours passed in the room, Wanda’s breathing seemed to steady itself into a normal rhythm and her skin was warmer to the touch. It was nearing 4pm and your eyes were slowly slipping shut. With Natasha now playing with your hair and the patterned beeping of the lab machine, you were caught in a trance. The smallest movement from Wanda’s fingered had you shooting up straight in your girlfriend’s lap and you both froze, was she waking up? The room fell tense as you waited for another movement from the ginger and you wanted to scream in joy as her hand moved again. “Hi moya lyubov” Natasha whispered in hope of a chance of Wanda coming out of her barely conscious state.

Another movement caused you to turn around and look at Natasha (who had tears in her eyes), smiling up at her and nodding your head, turning back to Wanda who had her brows slightly furrowed now. “We’re right here Wanda, forever and always” you continued to talk to her, attempting to encourage her to wake up. A soft groan fell out of her lips and you breathed out a relieved cry. “Hi baby” you choked out, feeling Natasha shift behind you and come around to the side of the bed. She crouched down so she was eye level with her girlfriend and kissed her temple. Another groan rippled throughout the room and her eyes squinted open.

“Wanda” Natasha sniffled and rubbed at her eyes quickly, not wanting to turn the attention on her but onto her injured girlfriend instead. “Tasha” oh god her voice. It was hoarse and dry but you’d take it over any day if it meant you’d actually get to hear it and not the flatline of the monitor. Natasha openly cried now, instant relief washing over her features as she bumped her nose gently on the tip of Wanda’s. the sight was more than what you could have asked for. From a little girl trained to not show love or emotions, she was a completely different little girl in this moment. She was glowing, she was full of love that only the two of you ever got the liberty to see. She was absolutely beautiful and broken, she was whole. She had found her Sun. You had found your moon and they had found their Star.

Wanda had turned to you, sporting an exhausted smile and a subtle head nod, ushering you closer to her and Nat. “Hi baby” she rasped out and kissed the tip of your fingers. “Hi Wands” you tearfully sniffled and kissed her nose in return, Natasha watching the two of you with a gentle smile taking in the scene. What you didn’t fail to notice was the subconscious taps of Natasha’s fingers on Wanda’s forearm, three consecutive taps with a few seconds of pause between the pattern and you gave her a soft smile knowing how hard it was for her to express her emotions sometimes. She was showing herself to you two more and more each day, and that was one of the many little things that made your heart fill with pride.

She had learned how to show love to the people who appreciated her, just like the Moon. She was the light in your darkness and the comfort in the unknown. She just needed someone to show her her own worth like the Sun and Stars. The sun loved her so much that she gave some of her own brightness for the Moon, promising to count on her during dark times. Her moonlight shone so bright that all the stars in the universe wanted to mirror her and giver her the same appreciation she did to the sun. Shining bright and creating an array of little moons surrounding her with a mirrored reflection of love. Together the three became every artist’s and poet’s dream. A love story so pure and so delicate no one dared to interfere with.

[sundrop-writes]

Black Suit

Dom!Emily Prentiss x Sub!Fem!Reader

Summary:

After a particularly hard case, Emily takes you home and helps you unwind by showing you exactly where you belong.

Dom!Emily Prentiss x Sub!Fem!Reader. Established Relationship. Smut/PWP.

Word Count: 2,900

Criminal Minds Masterlist | AO3 Link

THIS IS A RE-POST. This is a fic from my old blog (a blog that was shadowbanned, forcing me to move). This fic is not stolen, it is completely mine, and I am just re-posting it to help people find my new blog, and to make my masterlist complete when I post new fics for this fandom.

Detailed warnings and author’s notes below the cut.

Warnings: the reader is part of the BAU; very minimal mentions of typical CM themes (murder/crime scenes/etc.) - the primary focus of this fic is smut; the reader character has a vagina and uses she/her pronouns;the reader and Emily are in an ongoing dom/sub relationship - this includes the background element of safewords (that are not used) and pre-discussed kink negotiation that doesn’t happen during this fic; Emily is dominant and the reader is submissive; the reader kneels for Emily; mentions of subspace (but it’s not directly called that in the fic); the reader wears a collar (no petplay, just as a symbol of her submission to Emily); Emily’s strap-on is referred to as ‘her cock’ or 'her dick’; a very light hit to the face that could barely be considered a slap (not in the name of pain kink, in the name of dominance); hair pulling (reader receiving); strap-on blowjob (the reader sucks it); Emily is fully clothed and the reader is naked; slight cockwarming; strap-on sex - the reader rides Emily’s strap; Emily calls the reader 'babydoll’, 'doll’, 'greedy slut’, 'good girl’, 'pathetic slut’, 'stupid slut’; Mommy kink - Emily refers to herself as Mommy and the reader calls her that; finger sucking (the reader sucks on Emily’s fingers); Emily is generally condescending toward the reader in this, maybe it strays into degradation kink or humiliation kink; verbal degradation; mentions of pulling on the collar - but not quite choking? and I believe that is it.

A/N: This cover is not my favourite - I love the pictures of Emily but I’m not a fan of how dark the background is on the right. This whole fic was inspired by the picture on the left - her sitting in the most beautifully gay way, so I absolutely had to include it in the fic cover. In general, I also just go nuts whenever she wears a pantsuit on screen. It makes me feral. So this was partially inspired by that.

...

“Come on. Come to Mommy.” 

Emily had a unique talent for knowing exactly what you needed at any given time. Whether it was a cup of coffee perfectly timed with your three am yawn on an all-nighter case, or her packing a throw-blanket in her go-bag so that you could have a nap on the jet - she was so in tuned with you that she seemed to know exactly what you needed, even before you did. 

Today - after a particularly hard, long haul case - what you needed was to be mindless. The stress of the victims, the haunting glow of their eyes in the crime scene photos, it was weighing on you. You needed to be her perfect, sweet toy. And she knew that the minute that the two of you got in the door. 

She had mumbled in your ear, telling you to strip as she carried both of your bags toward the bedroom. It was a quiet, but firm order that had you shivering with anticipation seconds. Already, you felt your mind melting out of your ears as you watched the wave of her black hair disappear down the hallway. 

Feeling calmed by the acts, you did as you were told. 

You stripped completely naked, and then you knelt down on the corner of the living room rug, your hands lightly placed on your thighs, your eyes completely on the floor with your head slightly bowed. It was a submissive position that Emily loved to see you in, patiently waiting like an obedient pet for her. 

Just the thought that doing this would please her already had you melting into that soft, comfortable headspace. 

It was a simple routine that already had your stressed insides melting into calmness as you did nothing but sit there holding the position, waiting for her. You listened to the sound of her heeled shoes quietly clacking across the floor, and took great interest in the fact that she hadn’t yet taken them off. 

While you held the position, not looking up, you listened carefully as she came into the room. Then, quite expectedly, she reached down and wrapped the cool leather of your collar around your neck. Being as obedient as possible, you stayed entirely still while she did it, feeling tingles of satisfaction flow through you as the collar settled onto your neck. 

This simple act finished the process of melting your brain completely, and now, you could think of nothing but Emily - nothing but Mommy, how badly you needed her. You couldn’t even bring yourself to feel shameful at the fact that there was a sticky wetness between your legs and she hadn’t even touched you yet. She had trained you well enough that just these simple acts, just the feeling of your collar around your neck made you so desperate for her touch. 

Emily then walked over to the large armchair that she had in the corner of the room. It was something she had there for reading books or enjoying TV (during the little time off between cases that the two of you had). 

Mostly, she had the elegant leather chair for moments like this. 

“Come on. Come to Mommy.” 

It was only when she spoke the words that you had your implicit permission to finally look up at her. 

She sat in the chair with her legs spread, a mighty presence in the room with her suit still on. The only difference you noticed from how she had looked for most of the day was a distinct bulge around the zipper of her pants. The idea that perhaps she had taken off her pants, put on her cock, and redressed just to appear this put together for you… it was thrilling. 

She had been paying attention when you said you liked the way she looked in the suit. It was meant to be a perfectly innocent comment when you saw the way she was dressed for the day. A simple ‘you look nice today, Em’. But she saw right through you - the lustful spark in your eye, the way you bit your lip. She knew all of your tells too well, and she knew exactly what to do with the information. Something she had been saving until now. 

You couldn’t help but to savor the pure air of dominance coming off her with the black blazer and black dress pants draped over her, her black heeled boots still on. Her black button up blouse was still on, but she had a few more of the buttons undone than before. 

This showcased the golden key necklace that sat between her breasts. It was something that you had a matching lock necklace of, but you had taken it off and tucked it away with your clothing knowing that it was going to be exchanged for your collar because you were now in the privacy of your home. 

The necklace was something you had lovingly gifted her, showing that you truly belonged to her in every way and absolutely loved it. 

“Fucking. Crawl.” 

Emily ground out the words harshly when you didn’t move fast enough for her liking. 

You had become so distracted by her gorgeous appearance, but you rushed to meet the demand when her words hit your ears. 

The sound of her voice caused goosebumps all over your skin as you were distinctly reminded of who was in charge. Reminded of why you needed her - because you went so braindead when you became lustful. You needed her to guide you in order to get what you truly wanted. 

You crawled to her, making your way to her on your hands and knees. In a very rehearsed part of the ritual, you placed your head on her thigh, looking up the length of her torso at her. You heavily enjoyed how much she towered over you while you knelt at her feet. She gently combed her fingers through your hair while she admired how sweet and submissive you looked. 

“What do you need, babydoll?” Emily asked, continuing with that firm but quiet tone that you loved so much. Something that showed her power with an epic subtlety. 

You eased your head forward until you were nuzzling at the bulge that was threatening to burst her zipper. You felt nothing but firm silicone under your nose, which caused excitement to pulse through you. 

“You.” You told her, your voice slightly breathless already. “Just need you, Mommy.” 

You looked up at her with your best pleading doe eyes, knowing that she would give you exactly what you needed without you even having to voice it. She knew you too well. And she always knew what you needed before you even did. 

Emily skimmed her knuckles along your cheek, gently prodding her thumb between your lips. In the most natural fashion, you began sucking on the digit, enjoying the feeling as she forcefully pressed it onto your tongue. 

Once again, she easily knew what you needed. 

“Such a pretty doll for me.” She hummed, clearly enjoying the sight of you on your knees for her. 

You hummed happily around her finger at the comment, and she smirked. 

“Get my cock out for me, doll.” She ordered, her beautifully calm voice making the words sound like a song. 

She gently pulled back her thumb, causing a wet smack as it suctioned from your lips and she ran the tip of it along your bottom lip. Knowing that you were likely foggy, already mushy between the ears, she gave you a light tap on the cheek with her open palm to prompt you into following her instructions. 

You grinned at this, letting out a moan as a pleasant warmth spread through you. 

You loved it when she took control over you. 

You reached up and popped the button on her pants, and the zipper practically burst open with the force of her stiff silicone cock behind it. You helped get it out nicely, almost drooling at the sight before you - her black pants stretched over her thighs where they were spread wide to accommodate you, her bright red, veined strap-on sticked out from the fly of those pants with just a bit of her dark pubic hair visible above the strap’s harness. It was so fucking beautiful that you could have cried. 

In fact, you felt tears pricking the corners of your eyes as Emily reached down and forcefully grabbed the back of your hair, guiding your head toward her dick. 

You hadn’t even realized that your mouth was open wide with your tongue lulled out, needy and panting like a dog - not until she slid her cock so perfectly into the opening. She easily stuffed one of your needy holes and made the other throb almost painfully, making you wish there were two of her so that you could be filled from both ends at the same time. 

“Such a greedy slut.” Emily chuckled. “There ya go, suck Mommy’s cock.” 

You moaned gratefully around her cock as the thickness of it stretched your jaw open and forced your tongue flat to the bottom of your mouth. Your hands naturally fell to sit on her thighs, a lovely heat on her flesh through the material of her suit. She couldn’t help but to sit back and admire you, effortlessly guiding your head up and down on her dick. You were so pliant at this point, almost ragdoll-like, your muscles like clay that needed to be shaped by her touch. 

“You gonna warm up Mommy’s cock?” Emily posed, her sweet, soothing voice causing your cunt to clench around nothing. You felt wetness smearing against your inner thighs and you definitely weren’t surprised. 

You moaned in affirmation of this, loving the feeling of your lips becoming slightly swollen and sore as she fucked your face on her dick. 

“There ya go. Good girl.” She cooed. “Need it nice and wet so you can sit on it, babydoll.” 

You moaned even louder at this, and Emily couldn’t resist any longer. 

She pulled you up, loving the way your mouth hung slack, showing the messy trail of spit from your lips to where it glistened all over her cock. 

She didn’t waste any time then. 

She quickly got you up into her lap, having you straddle her with your knees over her thighs. 

You were impressed by the fact that her suit was somehow almost perfectly pristine - her pants were barely wrinkled and her upper half didn’t look touched at all. It was something that turned you on to no end, the visual of her in that powerful suit jacket as you sat astride her. 

(This would definitely be something you thought about every single time you saw her in a suit on the job from now on.) 

She began teasing the stiff cockhead along your dripping folds - apparently all it took was a few moments of her teasing, having your mouth filled and the switch of her dominant persona electrifying the air to flood your pussy. She then used a bruising grip on your hips to pull you down onto the hard length of her cock, perfectly impaling you with it. 

You let out a harsh whimper at the feeling of being filled up by her, and Emily smirked at you in a perfectly devilish way. She felt so whole, having you as a perfect naked prize in her lap. She didn’t know how anyone else in the world could be satisfied if they couldn’t have you. (But she also knew that if anyone else tried to touch you, she would have to break their fingers at the very least.) 

You sat there for a moment, waiting for her to fuck her hips up into you - waiting for her to fuck you senseless in that perfect way that she always did. After sitting there for a moment and simply having that hardness filling you up, your pussy leaking freely around the girth of her cock (surely smearing your wetness all over the seam of her pants where her cock was poking out through) - you pouted loudly and gently bucked into her. 

Emily’s smirk only widened, and she looked ever more like the Cheshire cat. Greedy and satisfied as she leaned back in her chair, relaxing into a comfortable stance with her elbows casually resting on the large arms of the chair. She poised the nail of her first finger up to her lips, holding it tentatively between her teeth as she continued to look at you expectantly. 

“Oh, did you want my help?” She asked, pretending to be completely oblivious of your needs. 

“Yes.” You moaned out. 

Your whole body unconsciously flinched toward her, causing you to move only slightly on her cock, a deeply unfulfilling feeling. It was a harshly nagging fullness with no pay off that begged for more. 

“Yes, please, Mommy!” You added on desperately, tears clutching at the corners of your eyes. 

“Do it yourself.” She told you, her tone entirely domineering but not lifting a single decibel higher than it had to. 

She commanded the attention of your entire body and soul with such simple movements, such a calm voice. It was something that had you clenching around her fake cock and moaning deep inside your chest. 

Emily grinned at you and continued on. 

“Come on, babydoll.” She told you sweetly. “If you need it so badly, you’ll fuck yourself on my cock like a good girl.” 

Of course, you couldn’t resist such gentle dominance. You couldn’t go against her orders. 

You reached your hands out and with a subtle nod from her, you knew it was okay to grip onto the lapels of her suit jacket for support. Then, with your knees planted on either side of her thighs in the chair, you began to fuck yourself on her cock. 

After the exhaustion of the day, your body wasn’t prepared for the effort. Your hips soon started shaking and Emily watched in utter amusement as you started whining bitterly after only fucking yourself on her cock half a dozen times. She held back a delighted giggle, not wanting to mock you quite yet. She wanted to see how far you could get. 

You couldn’t keep the pace - if you were honest with yourself, you had barely even started to reach your desired pace from a lazy crawl. The more you felt jolts of pain shooting through your muscles, pure burning tiredness, the more your sounds turned into petulant whines and the tighter you gripped onto Emily’s suit jacket (wrinkling it quite a bit now). 

When you were finally reduced down to mildly humping yourself against her, grinding your hips against hers in slow, lazy strokes, Emily let out a quiet chuckle - a mocking sound that cut right through you (causing your gut to twist with pleasure). 

“You having some trouble there, doll?” Emily asked, once again putting on a tone that was playfully ignorant toward your obvious problems. 

“I - I can’t do it.” You whined out, feeling tears of frustration bubbling up in your throat. “Mommy, help me.” 

“Oh, you can’t do it?” She cooed, clearly teasing you now. “You need Mommy’s help?” 

You nodded furiously at this. 

She leaned forward and hooked a finger into your collar, yanking on it suddenly in a way that made you moan as your torso was forced to collide with hers and the thickness of her cock jostled inside of you. 

“Mommy-!” You gasped, panting against her chin now as she held you there, trapped you in tight proximity to her. 

She didn’t let you get any more words out. 

“You’re such a pathetic slut.” She scolded you harshly. 

You moaned out loudly as she held you close, keeping that one hand with a finger tucked into your collar, holding you tight to her in a way that caused an even, grounding pressure across your neck. She used the other to dig her nails into the meat of your hip, partially fucking you up and down on her cock as she words her hips into you from below. 

With her feet planted firmly on the ground, she had the perfect angle to fuck your needy pussy. 

In a moment, she had built up a harsh, but slow pace that had you aching and moaning for more. She forced you to stare her in the eyes the whole time, keeping her burning charcoal gaze on yours as she held you there, the tightness of the leather around your neck and the stiffness of her length pushing up inside of you reminding you exactly where you belonged. 

“You can’t even fuck yourself on Mommy’s cock, huh?” 

She teased, her voice becomingly slightly breathless from her efforts. It was just another thing that made you wetter - hearing her sex-worn voice, still somehow composed. 

“You need me to do everything for you, don’t you, babydoll? Need me to make all your decisions for you. Need me to do all the thinking so that your dumb little brain doesn’t even have to try.” 

Her words had your pussy fluttering around her cock, trying to milk an orgasm out of the plastic because your body needed her so badly. But that was one of the best parts - because she couldn’t feel her cock, she could fuck you for hours without the curse of overstimulation that you felt. Just another reason that she could be so composed while you fell apart. 

“Yes!” You moaned out. “Yes, Mommy!” 

“Stupid slut.” She spat the words against your lips, causing you to moan out in an utterly whorish way as she fucked into you harder. “But you love it, don’t you? You love being Mommy’s dumb slut. You love Mommy filling up your needy holes, don’t you?” 

Truthfully, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

...

A/N: This is a oneshot, so there will not be a sequel or a continuation of it. If you enjoy it, please comment about the body of work that has already been written. If you want to see more things that I have written about Emily, or if you enjoy my style of writing in general, definitely check out my Criminal Minds Masterlist, or my other Masterlists.

[am-i-interrupting]

hi hi hiii !!

idk if you're still doing requests for Arcane, but if you are, I'd love to see Ekko, Victor, Jinx (and any other characters of your choice) with an s/o that's really good with with kids? maybe they could be a teacher/ mentor or babysitter but just very much loving caregiver vibes for any and all kids they come across

Caitlyn

She loves seeing you with kids, in your element.

She thinks it’s cute to see the way kids hang onto your every word and the way you teach them without them even noticing.

She will pop in on you with kids carrying toys and games.

She does enjoy kids company as well and they do like her but maybe mostly because she’s an enforcer and she brings them toys.

Sometimes she’ll find herself watching you with a kid (especially if that kid looks like either one of you) and daydreaming about somewhere in the distant future where you two would have one of you own.

Ekko

He’s not the best with kids himself. He’s not bad by any means but he can find himself often freezing up and unsure what to do.

This caused him to find it fascinating how good you are with them when he finds himself floundering.

When the Firelights have to go on missions often times the ones who have kids will leave them with you.

Upon arriving back, he will spend a minute just watching you doting on the kids.

He is just so enraptured in everything you do and that includes your ability to form relationships with kids.

Jinx

There aren’t many kids in the areas Jinx grew up. Not too many parents are gonna bring their kids into what is now essentially a club.

The first time she saw you with a kid was one of the times you went outside together. She had stepped away from the kid crying on the street, her hand instinctively on her gun, and she got itchy when she saw you approach.

She didn’t say anything she just watched as you crouched down to the kid’s level and started calming them down.

Slowly but surely her hand on her gun went slack and she just watched you enthralled.

When you offered to walk the kid back home and they agreed and you started leading them to her, she just looked at them wide eyed as she cocked her head, her braids pooling on the ground as a result, and waved her hand.

The kid hid behind your leg but you reached out and grabbed her hand and slowly the kid got more comfortable around Jinx on the way to their house.

Later that night Jinx was tracing the seam lines on your shirt and asked you what you thought about kids.

Silco

He would find it amusing how good you are with kids that aren’t his.

It’s almost like he indulges in watching you with them but in an almost smug way as he is with everything.

Seeing you be good with Jinx though changes everything. It completely knocks him off his guard.

Watching you play with her and make her smile makes him soft.

If you’re there when Jinx is having a mental health moment, she’ll cling to you and beg you to make it stop while you do your best to calm her down.

The emotions he feels is a combination of sadness, sympathy, and oddly pride in those moments.

For other kids, he couldn’t care less about how you interact with them but when it’s his, it means the world to him.

Viktor

He’s not good with kids himself. Those pivotal years of learning to make connections were stolen from him because of his inability to do things so many others could and kids having a habit of being cruel, especially in the lanes.

Seeing you with kids is something like a case study to him.

He finds it fascinating and seems to almost take notes on what you’re doing.

He would never engage for the longest time with any kids that were under your watch unless they directly asked him questions.

Then one day, he just did and they adored him, not as much as they adored you but it was a close thing.

They would like him for the fact that he refuses to talk to them like they’re idiots and indulged them in their endless curiosity.

You find a notebook later on filled with things that you did around the kids (even something as small as your tone of voice) that made you realize he was mimicking what you did in his own way.

[keepmycandleburning]

There's such a difference between the way Bellatrix talks to Voldemort vs the way the other Death Eaters talk to him.

She starts every single one of the conversations they have. They have five total direct interactions: in the Ministry, at the meeting at Malfoy Manor, in the Forbidden Forest before Harry appears, in the Forbidden Forest after Voldemort falls over, and after they come out of the Forest and Neville throws himself at Voldemort. In three of these five (Ministry, first and second time she tries to interact with him in the Forbidden Forest), Voldemort tells her to stop talking to him. At the meeting he mocks and manipulates her, and at the Battle of Hogwarts he responds with four words. These are not particularly unusual reactions for Voldemort; he tells multiple people to stop talking to him including Wormtail in GoF Ch 1, Nott in GoF Ch 33, and Yaxley in DH 1.

Also notably, Bellatrix uses one of his titles every single time she addresses him. Other Death Eaters who have a similar amount of lines like Lucius, Wormtail, and Snape skip the title on occasion. Bellatrix never drops this respect. (DEs who only have one interaction/conversation with him tend to do it every time.)

With all the other Death Eaters besides Bellatrix, the way Voldemort speaks to them makes sense with the additional information we know about that person and the relationship they have. With Bellatrix, there is a huge misalignment with the way we see them directly interact and the additional information we have about them. Voldemort tells Bellatrix to stop talking over half the time she talks to him publicly, yet he has given her a piece of his soul. He tells her 'be quiet' and then immediately follows it up with a nickname we only see her family call her. She fails him and he immediately saves her anyway—which I have always read as him physically reappearing after possessing Harry and therefore being seen by multiple Ministry officials in order to do so.

Bellatrix speaks critically of Voldemort and his judgement to her sister; when there's something else they're not supposed to say (talking about the plan with Draco) it gets acknowledged by the characters multiple times that they're misbehaving, yet Narcissa doesn't question Bellatrix making this very bold and actually rather blasphemous statement. Snape brings up Voldemort multiple times to mock Bellatrix, and she cuts herself off mid-sentence multiple times ('his most precious—' and 'he...lately we...') from speaking about it. She says he shares 'everything' with her and yet will not say what that is (his most precious what?). Bellatrix confidently speaks for the absent Voldemort at Malfoy Manor, telling Greyback she's 'sure' the Dark Lord will be alright with him taking Hermione. She is more willing to speak for him than she is to speak of what relationship they have privately.

When the cup is stolen and he loses his temper and is killing everyone in the room, he notes where she is and that she's leaving. She places herself in his close physical proximity—almost immediately after the cup was stolen from her vault—in public and he allows it. She talks to him with so much affection that even Harry can note it with his eyes closed, and he declines it and immediately moves on. Her comfort level to physically touch him is so high that she continues trying to do so after he tells her to stop. Her death is the third time he experiences a major loss in a matter of hours (cup, Nagini) and the third time he screams, but the one and only time he loses control of his magic (if he was consciously capable of sending all three of those people flying through the air, he would have done it already).

Compare Bellatrix continuing to try to physically touch Voldemort after he directly tells her to stop to Rookwood cowering on the floor and staying in a partial bow when Voldemort tells him to stand up, or Bellatrix initiating every single conversation she has with Voldemort to Draco being so afraid to speak a word to him that he does not talk at all and just shakes his head or does nothing. Rookwood is clearly terrified that Voldemort is going to physically hurt him for simply providing him information that will upset him, while Bellatrix is so sure Voldemort will not hurt her—again immediately after the cup is stolen—that she sits next to him, talks to him multiple times, and touches him. Bellatrix leans toward him, for mere words can't demonstrate her longing for closeness, and the Malfoys won't even make eye contact.

There's a major disconnect with what they're directly saying and the whole picture. These are two people who very clearly have on off-screen relationship that is substantially different from their on-screen relationship. One that Bellatrix believes she needs to keep private even from other Death Eaters. One that has caused her to believe she has the authority to speak in his place when he's not there. One that has led Bellatrix to believe it is alright for her to initiate conversations with him, to be physically close to him, to touch him. One that has given her some reason to believe she should—even, perhaps, that he wants or needs her to—continue to try to touch him after he declines it.

On-screen he places her halfway down the table, off-screen he gives her his soul to keep safe. Off-screen he's telling her she's his most loyal, his most faithful, he's sharing everything with her, while on-screen he tells her 'that will do.'

The word 'lover,' while it's used in the series a handful of times in the context of 'Mudblood-lover' or 'cat lover,' is used in the context of an object of one's affection once and only once.