#words from a stranger

[wordsfromastranger]

If love was a question

If love was a question Willingly getting lost in someone would be the brief answer If love was a question Don’t ask a descriptive answer My explanation will not be able to justify answer But if the poetry becomes my rescuer, this is what I would’ve answered “With no expectations I’m heading into a path unknown to the mind but yet very known warmth and my heart is smiling I am sure to not…

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

How much longer 'til your luck runs out?

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[contagious-watermelon]

Why do I keep seeing transmascs and trans men insisting or implying that all trans men are "female socialized," or "understand the female experience," or "navigated the world as a woman." Because yeah, sure, that can be true for some people. especially if you weren't gnc at all as a kid and didn't crack your egg until well into adulthood, it makes sense.

But they don't stop at saying they had that experience. It always comes with an addendum that trans men, as a group, all can relate to this experience. I don't know about the entirety of my demographic, but I never got even a little bit of what some of them talk about. I didn't even believe that women were scared of going out at night until I kept consistently seeing them say it, online or wherever, for years. I never realized catcalling was a thing until I saw some women complaining about it on reddit.

But they posit it as some sort of, you're safer than cis men, right? You know what it's like? Which, on top of being patently, demonstrably false in the case of myself and many other trans men, holds some unpleasant and often outright hostile implications about trans women. And they always deny it, but if you can't even conceptualize someone like me who grew up gnc, and never got the bulk (or any?) of whatever we consider to be 'female socialization,' what does that say about what you think trans girls went through, growing up? I don't want to speak for them, as I've never experienced that firsthand, but I can guarantee that (if you're even a little bit obviously trans) people don't treat you like a cis kid of the opposite gender. By and large, they don't get treated like cis boys.

It just makes me mad that we're taking this inaccurate framework that (ever so conveniently) puts trans people into the box of our assumed birth gender, and trying to fancy it up and use it with a faux-progressive veneer; never mind the way that transphobes use it to bar trans women from being athletes, or using the bathroom, or having access to any gendered resources they need. It would be bad enough to try and dust it off and use it even if it were largely accurate, due to the aforementioned connections to outright transphobia, but it literally is patently false. Not in all cases, obviously, but why are we trying to revamp this untrue, inaccurate generalization and pretend that we can make it 'trans-inclusive?'

[starry-bi-sky]

i think i'm hilarious -- aka i made blood blossom danny au memes

all of these come from my DpxDC prompt "i am pushing the batdad agenda--" and it's corresponding additions in the reblogs ksdjlf.

i am. rotating them in my head. forever and always. personally i think there should be more batdad aus in dpxdc, their dynamic could be neat. :)

[steveseddie]

coffee and contemplation

for the @steddiemicrofic prompt “dress, 350 words” | rated: t | cw: none | tags: pre-relationship, steve pov, good uncle wayne, he wants eddie to be happy and stop pining

Steve slips out of bed quietly. Eddie stirs but after nuzzling into Steve’s pillow, he falls back asleep.

Smiling softly, Steve dresses in yesterday’s clothes thinking he’ll need to go home and change before work, or Robin will be insufferable.

Not wanting to wake Wayne either, he tiptoes down the hall—

And finds him at the kitchen table, sipping coffee.

“Um, good morning.”

“Mornin’. Going somewhere?”

“Just work, sir.”

“Got time for some coffee?”

Steve checks his watch. Not really, he thinks but whatever. “Sure.”

“Help yourself.”

So Steve does, joining him at the table with a Garfield mug.

After a long silence, Wayne speaks, “Listen, kid, you don’t gotta sneak outta here, I got no problem with you spending the night. What you two get up to in there ain’t my business.”

Steve’s eyes widen. “Mr. Munson, we’re not—”

“Only ‘cause my boy is too chicken to do anything. Ed is as brave as they come, but he’s got a soft heart. It’s up to you to make a move ‘s what I’m saying.” He stands up, clasping Steve’s shoulder. “Just do this old man a favor and make it soon?”

Stunned, Steve nods just as Eddie saunters in.

“Mornin’, old— Stevie?” Noticing Steve’s spooked expression, Eddie’s smile falls. “Wayne, what did you say to him?” He asks, but Wayne’s already gone.

He turns to Steve. “Whatever he said, I’m sorry. You okay?”

“Just thinking,” Steve says, finding his voice. “Um, do you wanna go out tonight? Like on a date.”

Eddie squeaks. “What did Wayne say?”

“He suggested I make a move—”

“Oh God,” Eddie whines, covering his face. “That’s fucking embarrassing. He knows it’s not like that—”

“It can be, Eddie, I want it to be.”

“Oh.”

“So will you let me take you out?”

“Y-yeah.”

Grinning, Steve leans in— only to be stopped by a hand on his chest.

“Sweetheart, I wanna kiss you stupid more than anything but I won’t do it with morning breath and my uncle eavesdropping.”

Steve snorts. “Tonight then.”

“Tonight.”

“Bye, Eds.” Then louder, “bye Mr. Munson!”

“Call me Wayne, son!”

[braceletofteeth]

Evilive (1x03) || Strangers From Hell (1x08)

[3liza]

i have another pet tip, for all pets not just dogs: take them to the vet young and/or soon after you adopt them, BEFORE something is wrong with them. either book a basic wellness appt for checks (no shots or procedures) or just ask the vet if it's ok if you drop by with the pet either on leash or in a carrier and just get as far as the waiting room or outside the clinic if they're still doing COVID airlock protocols or busy. plan for this to take several hours. let the pet approach the vet office entrance and hear/see/smell the waiting room, windows into the room, the door, all the spots around the door, etc. engage positively with them if they're feeling interested, soothe them if they're nervous, and give high value treats if possible. maybe assign a super S tier treat JUST for the vet (bacon, shrimp, stinkiest cheese, whatever). feeding them can short circuit their anxiety loops (not all the time for every animal, but as a general guideline). even a single positive exposure to the vet office environment will help next time you bring them in. a treat jackpot for every time they act brave and explore further is a great technique

vet visits aren't just more pleasant when the pet is not freaking out, they're safer for the vet and safer for the pet, not just because animals injure themselves and humans when scared, but also because it's a lot harder to examine a panicky cat or aggressive dog. if your pet is sick and you bring it to the vet and the vet needs four techs just to restrain it to take a temperature, that vet is not going to be able to get a good observation of the symptoms. they won't be able to get a baseline blood pressure or heart rate. panic alone can kill small animals like rabbits and birds.

when you meet the nurse or tech or vet at an appointment, pass them some of the special treats and ask them to feed some to the animal if the animal is willing to take them and it doesn't interfere with the appointment. vets are usually able to spare a couple seconds to do this to make the visit easier and the next visit even easier. i did this for my dog and he thinks the vets are his best friends even though he's had multiple surgeries, vaccinations, exams where he was nervous or uncomfortable, etc.

not all animals can be acclimated to the vet but most can. in an emergency it can make a huge difference whether your pet is a behavior case when you bring them in to the office or not, which is not the vet's fault but a factor of animal behavior. you can plan for it and make it easier on yourself!

edit: buying a muzzle in your dog's size and getting him used to it is an even bigger bonus tip. vets will love you for this. even good dogs sometimes need a muzzle. pain and fear do weird things to animal behavior

[findafight]

Okay I kept thinking about this post and Steve being a BNF of Corroded Coffin message board of the internet of yore.

Alright so way back in the nineties Suzie hooks everyone up with the internet, yes? Yes. Eddie and Steve got together in '92 after some mutual pining and a few disastrous relationships that couldn't handle 1) Steve and Robin's general QPR clinginess 2) Eddie's intensity 3) the secrecy required if having multiple years of monster fighting and subsequent NDAs and the trauma associated therein. They're older and more settled and ready for an Adult Relationship.

Corroded Coffin is gaining traction and doing really well and the internet is still a brave new frontier, so Steve says to Eddie something like "I'm going to see if there's some message boards about you 🥰" and find them he sure does. So he makes accounts and posts under the username EddiesOnlyGroupie because he's hilarious and also the mods banned him from using EddieMunsonsHusband (he figured it was fine on the internet because nobody actually knew who he was but APPARENTLY NOT homophobia lives on in the digital age). He gets pretty well known in the Corroded Coffin fandom, most assuming he's a woman because he will go off on how hot Eddie looked at a gig. Like. Saying unhinged internet shit because 1) true and 2) he and Eddie think it's so funny. Everyone kinda believes the groupie thing too because of all the performance pics he's able to post and how he'll sometimes offer tidbits if knowledge about the band.

When they transition from chatrooms to livejournal etc he follows, with the same username. He's kind of a legend by the mid aughts. EOG is the acronym people use when discussing theories on his identity, and he's like "guys I'm literally his only groupie it's self explanatory. Guys why don't you believe me Eddie hasn't slept with anyone but me since 1992. We're basically married". He goes "it's not a mystery we literally are in love and Jeff and I go to Cubs games and cry when they inevitably lose together. Gareth is Godfather to my cats" (Eddie is still offended that he was not named Sassafras and Moonshine's godfather when Steve and Robin adopted them in '89). No one believes him.

Possibly because he still thirsts after Eddie and whenever someone posts a new Eddie pic those in the know wait for him to pop up with comments like "I want to bite his neck omg" "he has no ass but nobody is perfect I'll settle between his thighs anyway" and "literally a crime I am not married to him right now what the fuck" As twitter grows he swoops in to grab his handle, and follows a bunch of other CC fan accounts (some of them old friends, some of them new to the scene)(EOG 100% has his own fanlore page, which also has speculation on who he is and how he gets all the bts pics. It also doesn't believe when he says what it says on the tin. He's Eddie's only groupie.)

tumblr and tiktok come round and Steve is like. Openly horny on main. He's seen some shit go down on the internet but he's still commenting on Eddie fan edits that are title shit like "why am I attracted to this middle-aged white man" and "retro cc fancam" with things like "I'd let him lick the inside of my ear and only bring it up to tease him on special occasions" "his FINGERS" "back in '89 Jeff and Howie and Claire staged a mutany over this song because they were 'sick of Eddie only writing about biting bats' lmao" and "Jeff is my favourite member of cc"(just to stir the pot)

Eddie comes out in the 2010's and he's like "yeah I've been in a long term relationship with someone who is usually mostly a man kinda (gender is fucky) for the past twenty years, lol. His name's Steve. I love him a lot even if he mocks me online." and of course EOG comments "the mods of that old message board should have let me keep my original handle of EddieMunsonsHusband. When're you gonna make it reality, Munson? smh" and everyone is like Huh?? EOG is a MAN? And he's like yeah? Sometimes?? Not always?

(He 100% thinks this is him telling people he's Eddie's Steve. They don't get the message)

Anyways life goes on Steve continues to thirst under pictures of Eddie, he has his pronouns and name in his bio on twitter (Steve, he/him, she/her, Eddie Munson's first and only groupie 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ ) and continues to post behind the scenes photos that shockingly few people question (she always says "because I'm his groupie" though. He and Eddie think this is VERY funny and also true. Robin groans. They've been making the same joke for two decades.) and people believe it because Eddie has interacted EOG sometimes, liking photos or videos, commenting sometimes. (Steve has a more professional realname account that he rarely uses but Eddie usually tags Steve there)

And THEN Internet user EddiesOnlyGroupie says he's taking a few weeks off for her honeymoon because "I'm finally marrying the man of my dreams!" And people are happy for him but also bummed because Eddie is also taking a two week hiatus but EOG promises wedding and honeymoon photos. (Face reveal! Sorta!)((he doesn't get why people are excited because he's pretty sure he's been in a lot of Eddie's recent pictures, but whatever)

Imagine the Internet's surprise when Eddie Munson posts a collection of pictures spanning '86 to his 2016 wedding of him and Steve, including one of Steve looking seriously at an old desktop computer, captioned "Steve starting his internet career" and tags EOG.

Steve qrt with "I told yall. I'm his only groupie, and they should've let me keep EddieMunsonsHusband even if they WERE homophobic. Because now it's TRUE"

Niche internet community drama chaos ensues.

[steddieas-shegoes]

cw: mentions of scarring, canon-typical violence, flashback (not graphic), minor body horror (again, not graphic, mostly just emotional feelings about scars)

♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️

Everyone gave him weird looks when they walked in, quickly schooling their features when they noticed he was awake and watching them.

He didn’t know exactly what that was about.

They had him on a lot of good drugs.

But eventually he got weaned off them, and he noticed the pull of bandages on his side, and his arm, and his neck, and his face.

He was still unable to get out of bed. Still couldn’t even reach his arms above his chest for more than a few seconds.

But he damn sure reached up to feel the cloth and plastic surrounding his cheek. How had he not noticed for days? How had no one bothered him about it?

Maybe they had and he just didn’t notice. The morphine was one hell of a drug.

Wayne was soft, patient with him. Saw him touching it, saw the way his eyes filled with tears. He’d never been particularly vain, hadn’t cared much about what he looked like to others, but this felt bigger than that. This felt like he was changed in a way that everyone could see.

Add it to the list of things people could bully him for.

He cried himself to sleep, Wayne’s hand in his, silently comforting in the way he’d always done.

When he woke up again the next morning, he was alone.

It was the first time he’d been alone since the boathouse.

He could swear he heard bats outside his door, screams coming from the attached bathroom, flashes of someone dying on the ceiling.

He felt the sharp sting of teeth puncturing his skin.

He felt hopelessness creep into his bones as he gave in.

Maybe this time they would finish the job.

“Eddie!”

Steve Harrington’s voice broke through the thoughts, panicked enough to bring Eddie back to his hospital bed within a second of hearing it.

“Shit, are you okay?” He continued, hand brushing against Eddie’s bandaged cheek.

Eddie nodded once, closed his eyes, leaned into the touch.

He could blame it on any number of things if Steve felt weird about it. The morphine, the flashback, the loneliness.

“You’re okay, Eddie. I promise. Won’t let anything happen to you,” Steve whispered.

Eddie believed him.

He fell back asleep with Steve’s hand gently cupping the mangled side of his face.

If Steve could still touch him there, then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️

Steve came by every day, sometimes in the early morning, before visiting hours officially started, sometimes well after Wayne had left to get some sleep. He always smiled when he walked in, a genuine one, not the one everyone else gave that was so fully of pity and pain he couldn’t bear to make eye contact. He sat down on the side of the bed, not the chair like everyone else, not scared to be close.

And every single day, without fail, he would run his finger along the edge of Eddie’s bandage on his face, watching his own movements and cataloging any changes.

Eddie sat quietly, still, scared to put words to anything happening. Scared to tell Steve what it meant to him to have someone acknowledge his pain in this way. Scared to think Steve could mean anything by it.

It was easy to pretend Steve was doing this because he cared.

Maybe he did care.

But he didn’t care the way Eddie wanted him to, needed him to.

So he stayed quiet, still.

He watched.

He fell asleep while Steve talked about his day, the kids, what Joyce made Hopper do around the house.

He woke up alone most days, but that was okay, because Steve would be there eventually.

♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️

“You ready to get that thing off?” Wayne asked, gesturing to the bandage.

“Oh. Today?” Eddie suddenly didn’t want to ever be without the bandage. Removing it meant he’d see what was under it.

It meant seeing how much that place had ruined him.

The pull of the stitches hadn’t been as obvious with the pull of the bandage masking it.

But now it’s all he felt.

The nurse smiled at him as she put some antibiotic cream over the area, saying he would probably still have to keep it extra clean for the next week or so while the stitches did their job.

Wayne smiled at him in the way that meant he didn’t really want to smile at all, but knew Eddie needed him to.

Steve didn’t come.

Eddie didn’t sleep.

♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️

He woke up with panic in his chest and a silent scream in his throat.

He woke up with Steve’s hand on his face.

Gentle, soft, but a strong comfort.

“Promise I washed them first. They said we have to be careful about germs,” Steve said quietly.

“You don’t have to. I know it’s…it’s gross. It’s ugly. I’m ugly.”

Steve shook his head. “No. Not gross. Not ugly. Alive.”

“Steve-“

“You’re alive, Eddie. You could have your entire face held together by staples and you would still be a miracle. You’d still be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Well, Steve’s charm wasn’t an exaggeration, was it?

He wasn’t even sure if the skin barely pulled together could blush anymore, or if the heat that should be on his cheek was burning on the outside the way it felt like it was on the inside.

“It’s gonna be awful when it heals. I saw it in the mirror.” Eddie could feel every stitch in his jaw, the few that spread across the corner of his mouth and bottom lip, the ones that were nearly up to his ear. “I’ll always have a crooked face. The scar will always be huge. It’s all anyone will see.”

“Then they aren’t looking.”

Eddie bit his lip, eyes searching Steve’s. “But you are.”

“No. I’m seeing. There’s a difference. I see you. I see what you’ve survived. I see the mark it left on you. I know it wasn’t just the scars that cover your skin.” Steve leaned his head down, touching Eddie’s forehead with his own. “We all have them. And we’re all still here. Your heart’s beating. That’s all that matters to me.”

“Who knew you were so good with words?” Eddie smiled sadly.

“Robin says I’m just good at not having a filter.”

“She’s right as always.” Eddie wrapped his fingers around Steve’s wrist, turning as slowly as he could to kiss his palm. “You’re not scared of it.”

“No. Are you?”

“I’m scared that you’ll change your mind when it’s always there as a reminder of what happened.”

Steve kissed his nose, making him smile for the first time in what felt like years.

“I’ll have the reminder that I got you out of there. That no matter what, the bats couldn’t finish the job. That you were stronger and you made it.” Steve let his hand drop, but quickly laced his fingers with Eddie’s. “I know it’s a lot to ask of you to trust me, but will you? For today?”

“Just today?”

“I’ll ask again tomorrow.”

“And what? Every day after that?”

Steve smirked.

His eyes were glistening with tears, but Eddie could tell it wasn’t sadness or fear.

“If that’s what I have to do.”

They hadn’t even talked about feelings, not really. Nothing that made any sense to Eddie, nothing that they could define. A part of Eddie was still convinced he was in a coma and dreaming this entire conversation up.

But even the nurse had noticed the way Steve watched him, how he touched him, how he fought for him. She said he’d been a firecracker from the moment he carried him into the hospital, dripping blood on the tile, staining the halls with his demands for help.

Wayne said he barely left his side the first day, only doing so when the doctors had told him they would call the cops if he didn’t.

Erica even noticed how things had changed between them, stating that she refused to watch her babysitter and the only DM she had respect for make out.

But Steve held Eddie, made him feel like he could get out of the hospital bed and live a life that wouldn’t keep him running. Steve was there.

Steve might even love him. If not now, then some day.

And Eddie could trust him today.

He could probably trust him tomorrow.

“Kiss me?” Eddie probably shouldn’t. The stitches tugged when he talked, and another mouth anywhere near his wounds was just asking for an infection.

But Steve would be careful. He knew what Eddie could handle.

It was barely a kiss. A graze of the lips at most.

But it was the best kiss Eddie had ever had.

At least until tomorrow.

[jongwoojanu]

"...is this who I really am?" - Yoon Jongwoo, Strangers from Hell (2019)

[ Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground// untitled sculpture, ceydajeevas on instagram// Franz Kafka, The Metamorphosis// Strangers from Hell (2019), dir Lee Chang-hee// Bora Chung, Cursed Bunny// Monster (2004)// Hieu Minh Nguyen, Elegy for the First// Perfect Blue (1997), dir Satoshi Kon// Naoki Urasawa, Monster (1994-2001) ]

[wordsfromastranger]

Winter sky

Down the sun ending the daylight Fasten the winds of the chilling night Up the moon sprinkling the shine Mountain so close covered in smokey ice Crowded street, road raving rides Laughter and smiles so bright earth my dear is greeting the winter sky _stranger

[chirpsythismorning]

Welcome to a series I'm calling:

Yes, that scene did foreshadow Mike's monologue was disingenuous

Because you'd be surprised how many times the show (even prior to s4) has poked fun at Mike's monologue in the most random ways.

The Bingham's Beautiful Performance

First we have Suzie's sister on the floor, bedazzled and sporting a veil all while her brother is filming. This is basically the kids attempting to present a tale of a romance ending in gruesome tragedy.

Our bride here is El. The edition of the veil could be a nod to the loud majority's series long assumption that Mike and El are going to end the show together, preferably getting married.

Unfortunately, this is the closest thing they'll ever get to it, with the acknowledgement of that possibility in and of itself being mocked.

This next shot makes the likelihood that these scenes are connected pretty much indisputable, that being the edition of the record player behind the bride's head.

The only reason they made a point of having Will push the radio out of El's way, was to subtly connect this moment in Surfer boy to the beautiful performance we saw at the Bingham's only a few episodes prior (scenes that are widely known to be filled with foreshadowing for the season's ending).

A few bylers have already talked about these parallels, so this isn't new knowledge per say. But I do know some have dropped it altogether as possible foreshadowing for whatever reason, while most fans outside of the byler fandom insist it only foreshadowed Eddie's death. However, I think there are too many details that equally, if not more connect it to Mike's monologue than to Eddie's death.

Some fans have also noticed how Will was missing in quite a few shots at the Bingham's, which is interesting, but not all that surprising. Especially in this case...

Will. Will is the director

Director Will: GET THAT RADIO OUT OF MY SHOT!

Will directed the monologue when he used his feelings to inspire Mike, with the reminder of it (literally in the moment) directing Mike to confess to El, just like Suzie's brother directed that beautiful performance. Both performances convincingly left its audience thinking that the performers feelings in that moment were believable and...

genuine...

[yourelosingains]

sobbing, shaking, screaming, going insane

[alwaysurvalentine]

tastes like autumn - st fic

Written for Day 15 of @steddie-spooktober - prompt: baking - wc: 1.7k - cw: some cussing

enjoy! 💛

Autumn has painted Hawkins in hues of orange and red, trees dropping their leaves any time the wind blows. It’s cold enough that Steve’s taken to only wearing his sweaters instead of his favorite polos. He’s got his own place now and he’s even more grateful for it this winter when he remembers how awful it was to prepare the pool for the winter. Nothing worse than deep cleaning a pool when it’s cold and windy outside. His place isn’t big by any means, a tiny apartment above one of the shops downtown, but it does the job. It’s got one bedroom, a kitchen, and a massive living/dining room. 

The big living room was a big selling point when he moved in, wanting to have enough space for everyone to come over for a movie night or more recently, a D&D session. When it’s just him he likes to open all the curtains and windows to let the sounds from outside to filter in, mostly cars driving past but sometimes he’ll catch snippets of the conversations of people walking below. Sometimes Robin will join him on the couch in front of the window so they can people watch and make up lives for everyone they see. 

Today’s a quiet one though, one where he doesn’t have any work and no one’s planned on coming over. Which means Steve gets to bake. After the last and final round with the Upside Down, he’d finally been open to going to therapy. As soon as he’d agreed, Owens had given his information to Vanessa, who ended up being a good match and now they meet once a month. It’d been a long process, first having to meet up every week to catch her up with his personal involvement with the Upside Down. Soon it turned into her helping him with more mundane things, like why he hates the sound of a completely quiet house. Didn’t take long for her to suggest getting out of the Harrington House and into his own space. 

Now on quiet days Steve isn’t haunted by the memory of his parents disapproval when he moves room to room. No, now he gets to focus on things that he actually enjoys doing. One of which happens to be baking. He’s been looking forward to making this recipe from a magazine since he found it, but Eddie’s been staying over the last few days and he wants it to be a surprise. Plus, he knows better than to think Eddie won’t distract him from making sure he doesn’t burn the loaf by accident.

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bread stares at him from the torn magazine page and Steve smiles before pulling out the ingredients. There’s a radio sitting on his kitchen counter that he reaches over to click on, letting the sounds of Blondie fill the room. Since no one’s here but him, he shimmies his shoulders as he washes his hands, singing along as she belts about calling her anytime. 

It’s easy to sink into the methodic motions of baking. Dry ingredients get placed in his orange mixing bowl, clouds of dust and cinnamon causing him to sneeze and fan at the air before continuing. Steve hasn’t gotten around to buying an electric mixer yet, instead relying on his only whisk or his hands if the dough is particularly thick. 

Today he opts for hand mixing, rolling the sleeves of his yellow sweater up before reaching in. The pumpkin puree is sticky and thick but the eggs make everything feel slimy so he pulls his hands out almost as soon as he reaches in. Sometimes the feeling of dough in his hands makes him think of urging Eddie’s heart to start beating, reminds him of how he nearly dropped the metalhead multiple times on the way to the gate, blood making him almost slip out of Steve’s faltering grasp. A quick shake of his head and Steve tunes back into the radio, a song by Queen now filling his kitchen instead. He leans against the counter for a second, counting his inhales and exhales before trying again. This time Steve reaches in and doesn’t have to pull his hands out until he goes to add the chocolate chips. Normally the recipe calls for semi-sweet chips, but Steve’s gotten dark chocolate since those are Eddie’s favorite. 

~

The house smells like pumpkin, cinnamon, and chocolate. It brings a small smile to Steve’s face as he sits in the living room waiting for the loaf to cool. He’s feeling pretty confident so far, it didn’t rise too far out of the pan and when he stuck a fork in it the prongs came out clean. After the Biscuit Incident, Steve only tests out new recipes alone. No reason to give the party any more reasons to rag on him since they all act like glorified younger siblings anyway, knowing just the right buttons to push to get him riled up. Once he knows the best way to make a recipe, that’s when they’re offered to the party – soft cookies and moist cakes that melt just right in your mouth when you take a bite. All the dishes are next to the sink drying when he steps into the kitchen again. 

Steve edges a butter knife around the edges of the pan, urging the loaf away from the edges in hopes that it’ll come out of the pan easily. He places a plate on top of the loaf and flips the pan; luckily when he lifts it, the pan is empty and the loaf is resting in the center of the plate. Some of the chocolate chips have left melted streaks in the pan and he runs a slow finger through one of the trails for a taste.

“Stevie?” Eddie’s voice startles him and the pan in his hand finds its way to the floor with a loud clatter. “You okay?” Hurried footsteps bring Eddie to the doorframe of the kitchen, eyes wide as he takes in the scene: pan on the ground and Steve clutching a hand to his chest like he’s had a heart attack. He’s managed to get one shoe off but the other sits untied in his haste to identify the noise. “Glad to see your heart’s working.” It’s a joke that Steve’s heard Wayne make when he spooks Eddie coming around the corner of the trailer, it’s a way to let the other person catch their breath when they’ve just been scared. Steve takes the break for what it is and shakes his head fondly.

“Yeah, didn’t need you test it for me.” Steve fights back his own grin when Eddie smiles and winks at him, stepping forward to grab the pan from the floor. With the pan resting in the sink, Eddie kicks off his other shoe and then leans into Steve’s space. Chapped lips press against his and Steve leans in for another kiss before Eddie can pull away completely. When they do part, Steve can feel the grin stretching across his face. It’s nice having his own space that people can drop by unexpectedly but Eddie is supposed to be busy today.

“What happened to practice?” Eddie’s more focused on the plate behind Steve, already taking a step towards the counter to investigate. “Excuse me.” Brown eyes cut to Steve’s when Eddie registers the slightly bitchy tone Steve’s decided on. Steve’s smile gives away that he doesn’t really mean anything by it, just trying to get his boyfriend’s attention. Plus, there’s no way he’s going to let Eddie try it before he makes sure it actually came out correctly. 

“Gareth’s sister got sick, so he was stuck with baby sitting duty. What’d you make?” Again, Steve’s lost his boyfriend’s attention, Eddie going as far as to reach towards Steve’s loaf with a ringed finger.

“Hey! Don’t poke it. I made something new, which means-”

“Which means I don’t get to taste it until you do, yeah, yeah. Let’s cut a piece.” It’s hard pretending to be frustrated when Eddie knows him so well. With an eye roll and a playful huff Steve bumps Eddie’s hip with his before grabbing his butter knife again. 

“Go put your shoes up, then if it’s good you can have a slice.” It’s like watching Wile Coyote run off a cliff with how quickly Eddie swoops his battered Reebok up and darts into the living room. The butter knife passes through easily and a small trail of steam rises from inside the loaf. Steve can tell he put in too many chocolate chips already, the inside mostly dark instead of dotted like he expected; he figures Eddie won’t mind it either way. Gently, Steve tears off the corner of the slice, crumbs falling onto the floor when he brings it up to his mouth. It’s clearly not set enough to eat quite yet, but when Eddie’s found something sweet in the house it doesn’t take long at all for him to be digging in. Steve never complains because it just makes his kisses that much sweeter. 

The dark chocolate was a good call, blending in with the nutmeg and clove spices. It’s nice and moist too, melting in Steve’s mouth. Eddie’s come around the corner again, eyes hopeful when he takes in Steve’s relaxed expression.

“Good to eat, then?” And then he’s swooping in to tear off his own piece from the slice Steve made. As soon as he closes his mouth Eddie lets out a happy hum and closes his eyes in happiness. “You are a baking genius. This is delicious! What is this?” Another bite, and then a kiss placed on Steve’s head before Eddie starts to cut another slice. 

“It’s Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Bread. You mentioned last week not getting to the bakery early enough to get any of their seasonal stuff. And Mrs. Henderson let me have an old recipe magazine book so.” Steve shrugs and runs his hand through his hair before turning away. It’s embarrassing now, thinking about Claudia’s knowing look when he’d asked her if she knew any good recipes for fall that wasn’t pumpkin pie. 

“Baby, this is so good. And you put dark chocolate in here too, right?” All Steve does is nod, hands busying themselves with refolding his dishtowel that’s hanging on his oven door handle. “You spoil me.” There’s humor coloring Eddie’s words and Steve looks up to see a soft smile on his face. “Wanna spoil me some more?” He doesn’t have a moment to be confused, Eddie already closing the space between them and cupping Steve’s face. 

When Eddie kisses him this time, all he can taste is chocolate and cinnamon.

[napstawantstosleep]

I need a week to process this entire story quest Jesus christ