#words I'll never say

[gotasenseivebeenbetrayed]

"Loving the right someone at the wrong time will always be like a knife to the heart. Why does timing having to dictate your heart?"

[im-that-random-girl]

How did it feel?

When you kept yourself guarded-

Stone faced and iron hearted.

How did it feel?

When they barged in, all things disregarded.

Brought in sunshine and your walls melted.

How did it feel?

Running through flower fields

And being more happy than you thought you could be

Now how does it feel?

When they pulled all of that from under your feet?

They came in like a storm and left with the breeze.

Traces left behind on your skin like feathers on your fingertips

How does it feel?

Do you feel cold and empty?

Do you again keep yourself guarded?

Stone faced and Iron hearted?

[richiesfables]

Sometimes I’m okay, and sometimes I get stuck in the memory of us staring at the ceiling. The shadows of our laughter dancing against dim lit walls. How soft your lips felt underneath that bitter first taste of alcohol. The smell of the tobacco as it burned, and the way I fell in love with you.

Sometimes I remember the good before it all became so terribly bad.

[insanelybeautifulbrianna]

Love

I believed you.

Ate up every word you said like I had not eaten in years.

Maybe I manifested too hard that the universe wanted to show me why I am not worthy of being pleased.

I colored in your red flags with green crayons because I wanted to have the artwork I saw in my mind

But green over red just created a muddy yellow color.

I badly wanted to believe the artwork would look better if I colored darker.

But all I ended up with was a torn page and an empty heart.

[empty-meanings]

you yelled at me for the first time in years. and i mean yelled— no screamed. put your face in mine, all red, veins bulging out of your forehead.

for the first time in my life. i wasn’t scared of someone screaming at me. i was angry. no fear, no sadness, no pain. just rage. other than that, i felt nothing.

— im done with this bullshit.

[bpddreamgirl]

Half floating/half drowning

That's how I feel with you...

[arsynicwriter]

Breaking

Cracking, cracking, cracked.

I’m holding myself together with used scotch tape, the sticky side gone.

When that fails, I use glue-sticks.

Not the Elmer’s glue-sticks, the cheap dollar store ones that can’t hold two pieces of paper together for longer than five seconds.

It never works, but I can’t let myself break.

I’ll be alone if I break.

[pacificallrisk]

What would happen if I could say everything I want to say to you? Would you listen to anything or tune my voice out as insignificant? Or would you listen and just not care? Because everything I am is nothing to you.

Still I wish I could talk to you. As futile as it would be. I wouldn't confess my love or anything. You already know how I feel. But would it help to tell you the little things I did for you? How I would wait outside in the cold for hours just so I could talk to you. Because talking to you was the best part of my day. Because you are worth it. Would you be moved or think I'm a stupid fool? Is there anything I could say to change your mind? Are these questions pointless? All hope is lost?

Should I text you in a few months and ask how you are? Would I have the nerve? If I did, would you answer? If you answered, would you say something to make me regret asking? That's my fear, right now. It's why I'm terrified of talking to you and shutter in fear when someone mentions your name. You are a trigger. It hurts more than you will ever know that instead of loving me, you triggered me. Pain is all you could offer. I'm capable of loving you with every part of my being. Fuck it hurts admitting that. God I wish you were capable of loving me too. But no one is. I'm not meant to be loved.

You don't know how amazing you are. No one has ever treated you or appreciated you like you deserve. You family failed you. Everyone failed you. I tried to show you, but you didn't want it from me. I think at times you did. But you talked yourself out of it. Did you? Or was that just a figment of my imagination? My false hope blinding me. I'm honestly not sure. Why did you say I was the one you wanted to be with? Why did you cuddle with me? When I stroked your hair, instead of saying "stop", why did you say "never stop"? Why did you let me comfort you until you fell asleep? Why allow me that intimacy if you weren't interested? At least a little bit?

[marina-grace]

one day i’m missing you, the next i don’t even care if you’d call or text my phone. even if i don’t want to, i’d often find myself thinking about you, wondering why you didn’t text, why you don’t ever call, wondering if you miss me, wondering if you’d ever man up and say what’s on your mind. these thoughts are incessant at first, fresh after our last meeting—and then it slowly wane as i forget why i was ever hung up on you—i forget why i wanted to call you mine.

— the pull was strong when we were together but just like you, i’m better off forgetting this feeling than to keep on hoping you’ll become someone i could call my own.

marina grace

[what-we-think-in-the-dark]

Hello, I just want to announce the start of this. Message/ask me if you have something to say to someone but you know you never will, or wish you had.

[gotasenseivebeenbetrayed]

Soulmates?

I don't know but, I think one of the saddest things in the fucking World is watching two soul mates dance around each other, coming so close but, always out of reach and knowing that in this lifetime, for some reason, they weren't meant to be.

[im-that-random-girl]

Oh misery,

Have you come to take over my life again?

Oh melancholy,

Do you wish to inspire my art again?

Come through open doors

I've missed your presence.

I've realized my mistake,

My apologies for shunning you out dear friends.

Please accept my grievances-

For you are all I have left.

Bring back colour in my colourless life,

I've been floating blind in this darkness in me.

Spill back your black and blue ink through the emptiness.

Anything

Anything is better than this hollowness inside.

[richiesfables]

How do you heal, so that the parts of you that are heartbroken, you don’t turn into weapons?

[insanelybeautifulbrianna]

My letter to you

I wish I could go back to the night you said you still loved me. I would’ve taken you back. I wouldn’t have questioned it.

There’s so many thoughts that run through my mind since that day. Regret being the biggest one of them.

I don’t know what I did wrong. Our last conversation was good. I thought it was good.

We said goodbye for now. I didn’t realize it was goodbye forever.

Maybe one day you’ll come back. Maybe one day the universe will decide we’re right for each other again.

Until then, I’ll cherish you in my dreams. I’ll use every 11:11 wish on you. And I’ll pray one day my phone will ring and it’s your number calling.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The dog days are over.

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[crystal-clear-gems]

Don't do this to me, I beg of you. Don't dangle me over the edge, then refuse to let go. Stop making me stay, in this constant dread and fear, without letting me feel the fall.

Cause I'm tired of feeling my tears well up, without the relief of letting it burst. I'm tired of feeling the bile rise in my throat, only to let it soak and burn. I'm tired of the drained days when I can't do anything at all. Not even fall apart and break, instead just suspended in the endless numbing feeling.

I don't wish any ill on them, don't get me wrong. I don't want something bad enough to happen just so I can let it out.

But I beg of you, on my own, let me feel and let me live. Even if that means miserable it's better than nothing at all.