#wonder if i wanna break that record? it's october. i have time to decide.

[taylizmasterpost]

TayLiz Returns (August 2011 - January 2012)

Now, Taylor’s music suggests her and Liz got back together and broke up a bunch of times. It’s kind of hard to pinpoint that exactly, since they’re on tour together constantly and can’t really have a break from each other that would be discernable by an outside source such as myself. However, this is the time for it! Time for mess! Time for fun!

9 August 2011 - Speak Now in Chicago. Taylor covers Sugar, We’re Going Down by Fall Out Boy:

The lyrics that stand out here to me are:

Is this more than you bargained for, yet? Oh don’t mind me, I’m watching you two from the closet Wishing to be the friction in your jeans Isn’t it messed up how I’m just dying to be him? I’m just a notch in your bedpost But you’re just a line in a song

Of course, once again. Taylor could just like the song. But I think it’s interesting.

10 August 2011 - Speak Now in Chicago night 2. Taylor covers I Want You to Want Me:

This one is REALLY INTERESTING in the wake of Liz’s breakup. Some choice lyrics:

I want you to want me I need you to need me I’d love you to love me I’m begging you to beg me

Oh, didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying? Feeling all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dying

So does Taylor want her back? Or does she just like the song? Could go either way.

16 August 2011 - Taylor goes on a Girls Trip to Charleston with Liz, Caitlin, and a few other friends. Now, in a birthday post years down the line, Liz would reveal that Taylor specifically planned this trip because Liz was having a good time (We’ll get there in Late-Stage TayLiz). This feels like healing breakup blues to me.

While there, Liz tweets about possibly sharing a bed with Taylor again:

Taylor takes some great black and white photos of everyone that will show up in a later photo blog and Liz tweets about how much she loves retro photographer Taylor:

18 August 2011 - End of Charleston trip. 

Liz tweets about Taylor healing her heartbreak blues:

That night is Speak Now in Alberta. Arm lyrics: “Find the Grace in the things you can’t change, and help somebody if you can.” Taylor covers Complicated by Carolyn Dawn Johnson:

Choice lyrics, you know the drill:

I’m so scared that the way I feel is written all over my face We used to laugh, we used to hug, the way that old friends do But now a smile and a touch of your hand makes me come unglued

I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay

Another friend tells me that my name is always on your lips They say I’m more than just a friend, they say I must be blind Well, I’ll admit I’ve seen you watch me from the corner of your eye

What an utterly appropriate post-Charleston trip song.

19 August 2011 - Speak Now in Alberta. Arm lyrics: “Hey brother, we’re all learning to love again.” – Mat Kearny’s Learning To Love Again.

22 August 2011 - Taylor posts “The Charleston Photo blog” on MySpace, featuring pictures from the Charleston trip:

So, clearly, they had a good time.

23 August 2011 - Liz quote tweets Taylor about the Charleston photo blog:

27 August 2011 - Speak Now in LA. Taylor covers Bette Davis Eyes:

Now, not only is this an EXTREMELY GAY COVER considering it’s about how beautiful a woman is, but Bette/Betty is a popular nickname for Elizabeth. And just look at the lyrics:

And she’ll tease you And unease you All the better, just to please you She’s precocious And she knows just What it takes to make a pro blush

IS THIS NOT EXACTLY WHAT’S BEEN HAPPENING EVERY NIGHT DURING BETTER THAN REVENGE? TEASING? UNEASING? MAKING A PRO BLUSH??? Hmm, Taylor, what an interesting choice of a cover in the wake of the Charleston Trip...

It’s worth noting that Liz also grew up in the LA area, making this even more special if it is about Liz.

5 September 2011 - Taylor and Dianna Agron meet for the first time at the Fairfax Flea Market after being introduced by mutual friend, Ashley, who was working for Dianna’s hairstylist at the time. Dianna had lowkey outed herself that summer with #Shirtgate and considering all the mess going on with Liz, it’s possible Ashley (among Taylor’s other friends) were looking to introduce her to someone else.

8 September 2011 - Taylor diaries about writing Red the previous day and then recording it:

In a later interview, Taylor described Red like this:

“So this is a song that I wrote about the kind of relationship that is both the best thing and the worst thing at the same time and that’s why you can’t forget about it. It’s called Red.”

So, I have a two big theories about Taylor writing and recording Red at this point in the timeline:

1) TayLiz have IMMEDIATELY broken up again after the Charleston trip, and that’s why a mutual friend decided to introduce Taylor to Dianna.

2) Taylor and Liz are about to get back together again, and Taylor writes Red as a way of looking back on what she had with Liz back in 2009 before diving into a relationship with her again.

I’m leaning towards 2, but 1 could be true too. Who knows?

13 September 2011 - Rodarte show at NY Fashion Week. Taylor is interviewed by Vogue while there. She says there’s “just been this earth-shattering, not recent, but absolute crash and burn heartbreak” and that that’s what the next album is about. This really makes me think TayLiz breaks up IMMEDIATELY again after Charleston.

Taylor also gives these four things she’s learned about love and life recently:

Number two and four read like Jake shade to me.

16 September 2011 - Speak Now in Nashville. Taylor brings out Hayley as a special guest, they sing “That’s What You Get.” Hayley would later say she was surprised Taylor didn’t ask for Misery Business as That’s What You Get wasn’t one of their more popular songs at the time. (Keep in mind this is the song TayLiz jammed to years ago at the Paramore concert):

This song makes me think there’s a lot of back and forth happening between TayLiz right now if we look at it lyrically. However, things could be great in TayLiz land and Taylor just chose to perform this song because she knew Liz liked it.

19 September 2011 - Liz performs Jenny Turn Around with Tyler Hilton after Speak Now in Nashville. Tyler tells a story about how he went to the TS concert just before and Taylor had said that her and Liz both really love this song.

29 September 2011 - Liz tweets about crying to the song “The Heart Won’t Lie” by Vince Gill.

And thus, the back and forth continues.

16 October 2011 - Taylor recommends Liz’s YouTube channel and she gets an influx of subscribers:

30 October 2011 - Taylor diaries about being sick on tour, getting Meredith, and having written two songs in the last few days:

This usually signifies there’s a lot going on for her emotionally, although it’s hard to tell what since we don’t know which songs these are. (My best guess might be Treacherous??)

31 October 2011 - Liz tweets about getting married. 

Taylor posts a photo of her, Liz, and Caitlin on Instagram:

8 November 2011 - TayLiz have a “soul feeding time” together:

9 November 2011 -  Taylor posts a wedding dress train picture to IG with the caption “Dress train…”

12 November 2011 - TayLiz flirt more onstage during BTR:

18 November 2011 - Speak Now in Columbia South Carolina. Arm Lyrics: “Where would we be today, if I never drove that car away?” These are from the song “Don’t Think About It” by Darius Rucker. The lines before this go:

When we make choices we got to live with them Heard you found a real good man and you married him I wonder if sometimes I cross your mind Where would we be today If I never drove that car away?

To me, this plus the dress train pictures reads as Taylor’s reaction to Emily getting married the following day.

19 November 2011 - Emily gets married.  TayLiz are papped leaving a restaurant in London:

27 November 2011 - CMT Awards in Nashville. Taylor arrives with Liz and others.

1 December 2011 - Taylor shoots her vogue cover where she cuts her bangs at the Bowery Hotel. Her band (including Liz) comes to support her and her and Liz take a photo with their matching hair:

13 December 2011 - Taylor’s birthday. She’s recording something in the studio and posts a photo to tease the Red album (presumably she’s already titled it at this point).

Here are some pictures from the party:

22 December 2011 - Safe and Sound is released. TayLiz both tweet about it:

Taylor also posts about it on IG:

IN CONCLUSION: After Taylor pursuing her all summer, and Liz’s breakup with Jason, TayLiz took off again. They (maybe) shared a bed during Charleston, and Taylor certainly seems to have covered Bette Davis Eyes with her in mind. Their relationship is a little less obvious than they were in 2009, but that makes sense, considering the way Taylor has skyrocketed in popularity since then. Of course, they still are going to have some problems...

TayLiz Breaks Down (January 2012 - March 2012)

[ggukcangetit]

Dreamcatchers 6

Pairing: jungkook x oc

Summary: DI Jeon didn’t need a new partner. Unfortunately, his superiors felt otherwise; especially considering the extremely high-profile murder that had just taken place in the port city. Recent transfer, DI Choi Yuri finds herself confronted with a new cityscape, unfamiliar people, a hostile partner, and a homicide that is certain to bring back unpleasant memories.  

Genre/AU: fluff/action/mystery | detective! au | police!jungkook, police!oc

Word Count: 5.2k

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: mentions of violence, alcohol, blood, drugs, death. basically stuff you’d associate with a murder mystery/crime drama.

Chapters 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 

A/N:  it’s been a while since i posted and even longer since i updated this fic but its still here and so am i! lol. updates are not gonna be very frequent but i have a list of works in progress that i plan to finish so there will be something or the other being posted at the most random moments.

also, reminding everyone that this story features a named oc because i’m still very unfamiliar with writing second person reader inserts. i’m not aiming for strict accuracy in this story, and all criminal investigation/forensics knowledge i have has been gathered by watching crime drama/procedural dramas! my knowledge of geography is also not totally accurate so apologies for that. once again, one thing right by @hobios​ prompted me to write a police inspector! jungkook story. would highly recommend reading that because it’s probably one of my most favorite pieces of writing!

21st December

"Is this how you conduct a sample analysis?! Where did you even train? I've half a mind to report you and get you kicked out!!"

Yuri stopped at her desk, surprised to hear Seulgi's yelling so loudly that she could be heard all the way from the floor above. She was usually extremely calm and even-tempered, but the past couple of days had seen her irritable, snappy, and downright furious.

"Dr. Ahn sounds really angry," whispered Jisoo, clutching a file close to her chest. "I've never heard her yell at anybody before. I hope she's okay."

"I'm sure everything's fine," said Jeon, walking over to his desk and dropping a bunch of files on it. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Yuri raised an eyebrow at him, but complied nonetheless. They walked outside, standing near a clump of trees outside of earshot of anyone in the station.

"Guess who I've just brought in on suspicion of murder for the 2nd Nov case?" he asked, lowering his voice.

"No!" gasped Yuri. "Minhyuk?"

"Yep. He's been in the country for a while now. Fancy giving me a hand with the interview?"

"Me? I mean," she bit her lip. "I wasn't part of the original investigation."

"I know, but in light of what you've found out and the fact that you're now my partner, Goh thinks it's okay."

"You told Goh?!"

"I had to. I can't restart the investigation without his permission."

Jeon stared at her for a few moments, trying to gauge her reaction. "So, what do you say?"

"Alright. Let's nail this bastard."

Ahreum was late. She had a meeting with one of her professors to decide on which medical stream she'd specialize in. Despite using forensics as an excuse to distract Seulgi, she was seriously considering it now. Deciding to pursue medicine had been a drastic career switch for Ahreum, and a lot of people had questioned her decision relentlessly. But if there was something she had learnt in the years following her parents' divorce, it was patience and the ability to block out irrelevant conversations. Namjoon had always been immersed in his studies, barely affected by the bitterness existing between their parents. Ahreum, barely in high school, felt lost and helpless during those times. After the divorce, things had become less tumultuous and she was able to see her parents as individual entities. That was when she realized that her father was never going to like any of her decisions, no matter how hard she tried to please him, and her mother preferred to stay aloof at the best of times. Ahreum learnt pretty early in life, that she needed to be there for herself. She loved her brother and parents, though the latter a lot less than the former. Her decision to study English Literature and Creative Writing had been a spur of the moment one - dictated more by the fact that her high school boyfriend was going to study at a major Arts university. She didn't really regret any of her decisions. Her degree had led her to finding a hobby she adored - photography. And having a freelance job meant that she could stay with Namjoon - who earned a significantly larger amount than her - and move whenever he needed to move as well. This was also how she had met Taehyung 3 years ago - a happy coincidence of events when she had been taking pictures outside the museum at Seoul. They had started talking about art and photography, eventually realizing that they lived in the same part of the city. In addition to Yuri, she also considered Taehyung to be her best friend. She had seen him during one of his lowest moments when Seokjin had left home; and then some time later when he had found Seokjin living in the town Ahreum and Namjoon had recently shifted to, she had stayed by him as he grappled with his anger and frustration towards his older brother until an eventual reconciliation.

But at this moment, she was beginning to lose patience with him. Five minutes before she was about to leave for her meeting, she received a bunch of frantic texts from him.

8.25 am

T: ahreum?? are u up??

T: jimins still in custody

T: im so worried

8.26 am

T: u there?

T: i want to visit him...

T: will u come with me?

8.27 am

T: hey

T: ???

T: i didnt sleep much so i dont wanna drive there

8.28 am

T: are u sleeping?

T: ???

He knew she had a meeting today. He knew how important the meeting was for her. She had spoken about it many times. Not for the first time, Ahreum wondered whether Taehyung cared about her beyond what directly concerned him. If it wasn't somehow relevant to him, he never seemed to remember much. It was a careless apathy that had hurt her during the beginning of their friendship, but she had accepted it as a part of him.

Her meeting was at 9 am and she usually needed 20 minutes to get there on her bike. She closed her eyes and mentally rehearsed the points she was going to bring up during her meeting. Her phone pinged once more, breaking her concentration.

8.30 am

T: hey

T: can u pick me up?

She frowned and shot a quick text before pocketing her phone and strapping on her helmet.

A: sorry have a meeting... talk later

As Ahreum sped through the narrow lanes, she was convinced that there was no way she was going to talk to Taehyung today. He would have to manage on his own for once.

Yuri and Jeon sat across from a very nervous Park Minhyuk, his bloodshot eyes indicating that he had been brought in after a rough night.

"Good morning." Jeon began the interview, his notes stacked neatly in front of him. "You were very hard to get a hold of, Mr. Park. Specifically because your company categorically states that you've been out of the country for business."

"I-" His face was white as a sheet.

"When we called your office, we were told that you are often out of the country on business trips. Short trips," Jeon flipped through his notes. "A fortnight, 20 days at max. Your secretary was very obliging - he told us that you traveled on October 12th and returned on October 27th. Then left the country again on November 1st and returned on November 16th. Another trip between November 22nd and December 6th. And finally, one more on December 10th from which you still haven't returned."

"Your phone records are very interesting, Mr. Park," said Yuri, joining in. "I'm DI Choi, by the way, and I will be assisting DI Jeon as his partner on the case. Now -" she opened the file in front of her and took out a particular page - "is this your cell phone number?"

"Yes, but-"

"Our Telecomms division looked over recent activity over the last 3-4 months. While your office confirms that you have been on multiple trips out of the country from October onwards, your phone has been operating in Korea for almost two months. Can you tell us why?"

Minhyuk remained silent, his hands clenched on the table.

"Do you recognize this?" Yuri placed a plastic bag on the table and moved it towards him.

The remaining color drained from Minhyuk's face as he stared at the ring inside the plastic bag.

"Let me help you out, Mr. Park," she continued. "This is an heirloom from your mother's side of the family. There was three such rings - one buried with your mother, one on your brother's finger, and one found at the scene of Son Eunbi's murder. Can you tell us how your ring found its way to a murder scene?"

"I didn't kill her!" Minhyuk looked like he was going to pass out. Jeon poured some water into a glass and passed it to him.

"She was dead when I got there!" he said after gulping down the water. His hands were shaking by this point.

"If she was dead when you got there, why didn't you call the police?"

"I..."

Faced with a possible murder charge, Minhyuk looked frightened but not nearly as forthcoming with an alibi as one would have hoped.

"Mr. Park," Yuri spoke after a period of silence. "Did you know that Ms. Son had a three year old daughter named Gina?"

Minhyuk gulped, his eyes breaking contact with hers. He removed his hands from where they had been clenched on the table, choosing to hide them in his lap.

"Are you Gina's father?" she continued. Minhyuk head shot up at her question.

"H-how did-"

"When did you find out?" she asked.

Minhyuk sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I guess there's no point in denying it since you know everything." He reached out and finished the remaining water in the glass. "In October, after I came back from a trip, I happened to meet her by chance and Gina was with her. It was odd, the way that she tried to avoid talking to me. And the fact that Gina also had clear grey eyes."

For the first time since the interview started, Yuri realised the resemblance between the Park brothers was limited but striking. Their eyes were the exact same shade of grey - while Jimin looked cold and unwelcoming, Minhyuk's glasses did well to give him a warmer appearance.

"I asked her why she hadn't contacted me when she got pregnant. Or in the three years since Gina was born."

"What did she say?" asked Yuri, softly.

"She was scared that I wouldn't believe her." Tears had started to roll down his cheeks. "I loved her... so much. And then she just disappeared one day. I tried so hard to find her but..."

Jeon poured another glass of water for him.

"I told her how happy I was to hear about Gina. That I wanted us to be a proper family. I was willing to do whatever was necessary if that's what she wanted as well. I think she was beginning to warm up to the idea. I even told my father to postpone my next trip so that I could spend a little more time with both of them. But-"

"But?"

Minhyuk stared at his hands, looking tired and dejected. "He - uh, he wasn't happy when he heard about Gina. My father has very particular expectations."

"What did he say to you? Did he threaten you, Mr. Park?"

Minhyuk let out a soft chuckle. "My father doesn't threaten. He suggests."

"And what did he suggest you do about Gina and Eunbi?" asked Jeon.

"That I stay away from them. For the sake of my inheritance."

"And did you?"

"I was planning to... I-I was meant to travel the next day and I thought I would go and see her once more before I left. But when I got there..."

Minhyuk covered his face with his hands, taking deep breaths to try and calm himself.

"What happened when you got there, Mr. Park?"

"She was lying there... in a pool of blood. Gina was asleep in the back. I-I didn't kill her. You have to believe me."

Yuri and Jeon exchanged a quick look as Minhyuk protested his innocence. They were aware that the homeless man had killed Son Eunbi. The DNA found at the crime scene confirmed the fact that he had stabbed her. But they needed Minhyuk to give them as much information as possible.

"I'm afraid we do not conduct our investigations based on belief, Mr. Park," continued Yuri, shuffling her notes meaningfully. "You still haven't provided us with an alibi for that night. Strange thing - the Park family seem to have a particular aversion towards providing alibis. Your brother was also extremely resistant when we spoke to him."

"You spoke to Jimin? What for?" Minhyuk's expression had changed completely. He looked strangely alert.

"I guess you aren't aware that Jimin was arrested for the murder of Kang Eunwoo on December 15th." Jeon spoke deliberately, hoping to elicit a reaction. And he was successful.

"What?! That's impossible! There's no way he could've done that!"

"Why are you so certain of that?"

"Because he was with me on December 15th!"

"I'm sorry but we can't take you at your word. You can't even provide a proper alibi for yourself on the night of Son Eunbi's murder. How can we be sure that the two of you aren't just covering up for each other?"

It was then that Minhyuk realised that he would need to come clean. There was no way to save Jimin without telling them the entire story.

"Fine," he sighed. "I'll tell you everything."

"Everything?"

"Yes. If it can help Jimin, I'm willing to risk my father finding out."

Yuri glanced at Jeon who gave her an almost imperceptible nod.

"Go on."

"After I saw Eunbi... lying there, I couldn't leave Gina. No matter what my father had said, I couldn't leave my daughter in such a situation. So I... took her away with me."

"Where is Gina now, Mr. Park?" Yuri asked, frowning.

"She's safe."

"Where is she?" asked Jeon, sharply.

"In Busan. I have an apartment there and she's been with me since that day."

"Why didn't you tell the police that you had her? Why does your company believe that you are abroad on a business trip?"

Minhyuk rubbed his eyes tiredly and drank some more water. "I couldn't let my father find out. Jimin and I have an apartment in Busan that we bought under a different name. It was a place our father couldn't find us. Gina's been staying there with me since 2nd November."

"Are you sure your father thinks you're abroad? It doesn't seem like something easy to cover up."

"Jimin helped with that," said Minhyuk, leaning back into the cold metal chair. "He told father that I had run away because he hadn't been understanding of my situation with Gina and Eunbi. Jimin's good at convincing people - it's a talent he's barely ever put to good use."

"So Jimin knew that you were hiding in a secret apartment with your recently discovered daughter?"

"Yes, he did. I have an alibi for 2nd November. I was in a meeting till 9 pm and then stopped for drinks at a nearby fried chicken place till 11 pm. I was a bit tipsy after that, which is why I decided to visit Eunbi and Gina. After taking Gina away from there, I went to Jimin's place, got the keys to the apartment and drove straight there. I think I reached around 2 am."

Yuri jotted down all this information, making a note to check on every new detail that had been mentioned.

"What about December 15th? You said Jimin was with you. Why?" asked Jeon, folding his arms across his chest.

"We meet once a week to make sure everything is going okay," said Minhyuk, pinching the bridge of his nose tiredly. "Sundays are usually the best days for that."

"Where did you meet?"

"At the local ice-cream shop," Minhyuk frowned, trying to remember something. "You know the one near the end of town?"

"The Dairy Berry? Yes, I know which one you're talking about." Jeon gave Yuri a brief nod to confirm that this was a legitimate spot and not something Minhyuk was making up on the spot.

"Gina loves sweet things and I thought it would be easier to take her with me the same day I met Jimin. I think we were there till 10 pm. After that, I dropped Jimin at a bar and drove back home."

"Which bar was this?" asked Yuri.

"Sunset."

"And you drove straight home after that?"

"You can check the dash cam on my car and the security tapes at my apartment building, if you want."

"We definitely will, Mr. Park," said Jeon, surveying him carefully. "In the meantime, you will be in custody until we have verified each and every single thing you just told us. So I suggest you keep yourself hydrated."

Yuri could feel a pair of eyes on her as she spoke to Jisoo and Suho.

"We need to verify everything that Park Minhyuk told us. But there's a lot of ground to cover and we've lost quite a bit of time since the murder of Son Eunbi. So I suggest you recruit some uniformed officers as well." Jisoo jotted down the locations and the times they needed to verify, and nodded to Suho to indicate she had forwarded the details to him. "We need to get the information as soon as possible."

"Will do," said Suho, giving her a reassuring nod.

Yuri waited for them to leave before walking over to the person who had been watching her for a while.

"Did you want to talk about something?" she asked Seulgi.

"I-" Seulgi tugged at her sleek, high ponytail, looking oddly hesitant. She seemed in a better mood than earlier in the morning when she had almost scared one of the interns into leaving the country. "Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah- " Yuri checked the clock on her phone - "just a minute though. I'm waiting for Jeon to get a warrant from Goh."

"Did he-? I mean, Jimin, uh... have you...? You know-" It was strange to see her grappling for words. "Are you certain he's done it?"

Yuri stared at her for a second. This wasn't what she had been expecting Seulgi to talk about. The doctor's relationship with Jimin was even more puzzling than she had originally perceived it.

"We're looking into it right now." She paused, trying to gauge Seulgi's reaction. "But you already know about the blood sample match - that, in itself, is pretty damaging."

"Y-yeah, I know."

Before Yuri could say anything more, Jeon came out of the Chief Inspector's office. "We've got a warrant to search Minhyuk's apartment. Let's go."

Glancing one more time at Seulgi's ashen face, Yuri put on her coat and scarf and followed Jeon out the exit.

Once inside Jeon's car, Yuri debated whether or not she should attempt to engage him in conversation. Her decision was made for her when he drove onto the main road, and lowered the volume of the police scanner.

"What was Seulgi saying?" he asked, his eyes focused on the road.

"Just where we were in the investigation."

"I see."

Yuri fiddled with the button on her coat, itching to say more.

"What's the deal with her and Jimin?" she finally asked.

"I- what do you mean?" Jeon raised his eyebrow and gave her the most puzzled expression he could muster while trying to stay focused on the crazy traffic.

"Their relationship is... weird. He keeps flirting with her, and she is on the verge of ripping his guts out at every given moment. But just now, she seemed almost worried about him."

"I don't really know... they've never really seen eye-to-eye on much." Jeon checked the rear view mirror to make sure he was clear before deftly changing lanes. "Jimin has always been the person who tries his utmost to push everyone's buttons. And Seulgi... well, she has a lot of buttons."

Yuri snorted loudly. "That tells me nothing and everything at the same time. You really have a way with words, Jeon."

He smirked at this, his eyes never leaving the road. "So does that mean you trust me now?"

"No." She looked at him and caught the way his face fell slightly at her response. "But who knows what the future holds..."

The smirk was back.

Ahreum had a terrible headache. She usually didn't get many headaches. So on the rare occasion that she did, it put her in a really terrible mood. The only person who knew how to handle this situation properly was Namjoon. He knew that she needed silence, dim lighting, green tea, fresh bread, and absolutely no unexpected company.

So when Ahreum got home after her grueling 3 hour long meeting, hoping to relax and recuperate, she wasn't too pleased to find Taehyung sitting in her living room, playing a very loud game on his tablet.

"You're back!" he yelled, once she slammed the door to make her presence felt. "I've been waiting for hours. How was your meeting?"

"'S okay," she replied, shortly. Taking off her coat, she opened the middle cabinet in the kitchen and searched for the green tea.

"Great! So do you wanna go and visit Jimin now?"

"No."

"What? Why not? You don't have anything else to do right now. Just come with me. Please!" He had walked into the kitchen and was standing in front of her with a pout on his lips.

As endearing as she always found his antics, Ahreum was at breaking point. She placed the cup on the counter with a loud clink, and turned to face him.

"Because I don't have time to follow you on your every whim, Taehyung. Because I have a life of my own. Because I am studying medicine, which, if you aren't aware, is a very taxing occupation." She paused for a breath, as his mouth fell open in shock. "Because I am not your babysitter. Or your handler. Or your caretaker. And I'm tired of being responsible for you. You're a grown ass adult and it's about time you acted like one."

"Ahreum, I'm-" His eyes were wide and worried, and she felt a tiny sliver of remorse. "I don't think you're my babysitter or handler or whatever. You're my best friend."

"I thought so too. In fact," she said, looking away from him. "I thought we were, or we could be, more."

"W-what? Ahreum?" Taehyung sounded so lost and confused that she was tempted to console him.

She walked to the front door and held it open for him. "I think you should leave now. I'm tired, I have a headache, and I don't want to be around anyone right now."

"Wait! What did you mean by that?" he asked, hesitantly standing at the entrance.

"I'm tired, Taehyung. I don't have the energy to explain everything to you. Now, please," she began closing the door slowly. "I want to rest."

"It's clear!" The uniformed officer confirmed to them, before opening the door further.

"Okay, let's see whether little Gina is here," instructed Jeon, his face drawn into a frown.

Yuri nodded and walked into the room on the left of the large living area. It was a study of sorts, with a large wooden desk, a swiveling chair, and shelves upon shelves of books. She quickly checked to see if there was anyone in the room before shouting "clear!". There was another door connecting to a smaller room, it's walls bathed in bright sunlight and smelling of soft lavender. This was clearly some sort of guest room, judging by the inconsistent decor theme. The furniture looked sleek and modern, but the sheets on the bed were soft and pastel colored. A bunch of soft toys stood leaning against the flat screen tv, and Yuri realised that this was probably the room that had been hastily fixed up for a small child's unexpected stay. And sure enough, soft strands of brown hair peaked through the large covers on the bed.

She walked over to the bed slowly, not wanting to startle the child. Yuri barely managed to stifle a gasp as she looked into the child's clear grey eyes - the same color as both Park Minhyuk and Park Jimin.

"Hello," she said, softly. "Are you Gina?"

The little girl nodded, bringing the covers closer towards her.

"I'm a police officer. I help catch bad people." She didn't respond, staring at her with wide eyes.

"Do you want to go to your dad, Gina?" She nodded vigorously, sitting up at the mention of her father. "Okay, we will. But first, tell me, are you okay? Do you feel pain anywhere?"

The little girl shook her head.

"Are you sleepy?"

Again, she shook her head.

"Are you hungry?"

Slowly, she nodded her head.

"Okay, we'll go and see your dad, and also get you something to eat. Is that okay with you?"

"Yes."

"Wonderful."

It was just after 2 pm and Yuri felt completely drained. After they had found Gina, she had insisted on returning to the station to ask Jimin about his alibi for the night of Kang Eunwoo's murder. From what she had understood, he had refused to provide an alibi to protect his brother and keep him out of the police's radar until the situation with Gina worked out. Even though she still couldn't get herself to consider him a pleasant person, his desire to protect his brother had humanized him a great deal in her eyes.

Sure enough, once he was made aware that Minhyuk had come forward and spoken about his daughter and the events of the past month and a half, Jimin looked much less hostile than before.

"I was at Sunset from around 10.30 pm to closing time - which is 2 am," he said, sighing tiredly and rubbing his face with his hands. "You can confirm with them."

While Minhyuk and Jimin's alibis were verified, Yuri received a text from Namjoon, asking her and Jeon to meet him at Seokjin's bakery. It was barely a 2 minute drive there, so Jeon suggested they get lunch over there and make it before Goh finished compiling the list of paperwork for them to finish.

The smell of freshly baked milk bread wafted out of the kitchen, adding another layer of warmth to Seokjin's cozy shop. The man in question picked up the large tray filled with various different confections, and brought it over to the table by the window.

"Peach danish and americano for Namjoon, chocolate fudge brownie and vanilla bean ice cream for Jeongguk, and a snow croissant and hot chocolate for Yuri." He placed everything on the table, before grabbing his lukewarm cup of tea and sitting down with them.

"So you finally find the child, then?" asked Seokjin, sipping the tea. He made a face at the odd taste that tea acquires when it's between comfortingly steamy and soothingly chilled.

"Yeah we did," Yuri replied, when her partner remained silent. "Goh is dealing with Minhyuk and the custody charges. It's no longer in our jurisdiction."

"Namjoon, how's grad school treating you?" Seokjin diverted the conversation, realising that his friend wasn't ready to talk about the case at that moment. "How much longer do you have?"

"A few more months and I should be done." Namjoon wiped the pastry flakes from the corner of his mouth and nearly tipped over his americano in the process. Yuri chuckled at this, suddenly remembering those random moments in high school where Namjoon was a lot thinner and less confident, but still had a propensity for knocking things over.

"Remind me why you're putting yourself through this?" Seokjin broke off a piece of the peach danish and popped it into his mouth.

"The last time I tried to explain that, you spaced out and created a new pastry recipe for your menu. As much as I like helping your business flourish, I'm gonna preserve my energy and only talk about things when necessary."

Seokjin chuckled and picked up a spoon from the dispenser. "Jeongguk, can I get a bit of ice cream from you?" There was no response, and looking at him for confirmation Seokjin's eyebrows shot up in alarm.

"Okay okay, I won't eat any of your ice cream. You don't have to tear up about it!"

Yuri and Namjoon turned towards him as well, not sure what to do when they saw tears slowly sliding down Jeongguk's cheeks.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" asked Namjoon, patting his shoulder softly.

They sat in silence, as Jeongguk sobbed softly and wiped his face with his coat sleeve. He turned towards Yuri, his eyes glazed with tears but holding a soft radiance unlike what she was used to.

"Thank you."

Yuri felt her face heat up suddenly. This wasn't what she had been expecting. The soft sincerity in his voice startled her. It was nothing like the person she had met only a week ago. She looked away abruptly and nodded her head.

"There's nothing to thank me for. This is our job."

Jeongguk smiled and resumed eating the disgustingly sweet dessert combination in front of him. He nudged Seokjin to take some ice cream like he had originally intended. There was silence once more, but this time, it was very different.

Back at the station, Yuri finished the paperwork for the day. There was a lot to complete, and since they had stopped at Seokjin's for a break, they had lost some time as well. Goh had been very clear about completing all the paperwork for social services to take over the case from them now that Gina had been found.

It was barely even 5 pm but Yuri felt a large yawn coming on for the third time in the past few minutes. She wasn't sure how long she would be able to carry on without getting proper sleep at night. At this rate, she would eventually burn out. There was only so much coffee could do for her.

A light tap brought her attention to another person standing in her cubicle. She looked up to see Jeon holding two steaming cups of ramen, tilting his head slightly to confirm whether it was okay for him to sit down.

"Did you need anything?" she asked, after moving her slightly. He placed the ramen on her desk and pulled up his own chair and sat down.

"I've got a peace offering," he gestured to the ramen. "I wanted to apologize properly for being an absolute dickhead to you. I-" He hesitated, looking down at his hands that lay clenched on his lap - "I don't really have an excuse for my behavior but I had a lot on my mind. Particularly about finding the little girl. And, well... you really don't know what solving this case means to me."

Once again, Yuri wasn't sure how to react. She felt embarrassed that he was thanking her for doing her job - something that he did as well. While she appreciated his apology, his entire being remained confusing to her.

"Don't worry about it," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "And thanks for the ramen; food is always appreciated."

Thankfully, her computer ping-ed with a new email before the atmosphere could get any more awkward.

"Okay, we've confirmed Minhyuk's alibi's for 2nd November and 15th December. He wasn't involved in either murder. Jimin was with Minhyuk till 10.15 pm on 15th December - his car's dash cam confirms that he dropped Jimin off at Sunset bar around that time."

"Fantastic! And what about the CCTV footage at Sunset? Does it confirm Jimin's story? He said he was there till 2 am."

"Hang on, I'm opening the report. Th-" she stopped abruptly, frowning at the screen.

"What?" asked Jeon, looking over her shoulder to read the email.

"CCTV footage does not place Jimin at Sunset from 10.15 pm till closing time at 2 in the morning. He doesn't have an alibi for Eunwoo's murder."

She turned to look at him, an odd sense of foreboding hitting her as she realized that they would have to charge Jimin for murder by the next evening. He held her gaze, his dark eyes reflecting a similar shadow of doubt.

please reblog and leave a comment if you liked this part! thank you! 😊 

[nowornever13587]

MCYT Oxenfree Chapter 1

Edward’s Island.

Fundy POV

“It used to be a military base. Then it became a ranching thing, then it was turned into an army thing, then it became a bird thing and a museum or whatever. Henry Fonda stationed here, I think, for a bit. Unless he was Navy.” 

I listened to Tommy rattle on as I leaned on the rail of the ship. The salty smell of the ocean filled the overcast sky. But thankfully, it was only slightly cold. Just enough for a light jacket..

“Who’s Henry Fonda?” Eret asked, unaware that you should never ask Tommy questions when he’s explaining things. He had a tendency to not hear them.

“And around Christmas time, this little breakfast place used to sell these amazing polar bear sugar cookies…” Like normal, Tommy went on. I laughed to myself, peering back over the edge of the ferry for wildlife in the water.

“Hey,” Tommy poked me. “Are you still with us? You haven’t said anything for like… 10 minutes.”

“Oh! Yeah, yeah. My mind just drifted for a second.” I turned back, checking my watch. It was 8. Right on time.

“So, you all moved in?” Tommy continued to talk to Eret. 

“Um, not really. I just got in this morning.” Eret chuckled.

“And how did Fundy’s mom meet your dad again?” Tommy was eager for gossip. 

“They met on vacation in London. He got lost in a garden and thought she worked there.” Eret took it in good humor as we walked back in the boat. 

I took the liberty of exploring the small craft. It wasn’t that old but still had that air to it. Slightly chipped paint and worn seats. How they got worn, I never understood. Only bird watchers and history nuts ever headed to Edward’s island anymore. Particularly not in the winter.

“Hey, there’s an old ship's wheel up here.” I called down to the others from the second story as I bent to read the placard. “It’s a replica from a… Portuguese caravel, it says.”

“Yeah! I think the Portuguese discovered the island? I dunno. I mostly slept through the maritime portion of history class.” Tommy shrugged.

“Says the kid who’s been ranting about the island for the past 18 minutes.” Eret teased. Tommy shot him a teasing glare as I came back down.

“So you guys just met tonight?” Tommy continued.

“Yeah, I was… I’d been out at school and the timing had just never worked out.” Eret shrugged.

“And what does that make you to the Furry? Second cousin or something?”

“Step bro and I am not a furry!” I groaned

“Yeah, yeah! At least you seem cool!” Tommy laughed. “Cool guy, cool eyes. You get a cool new sibling living right in your house! Wearing your clothes… eating your food ... Sharing your toothbrush.”

“Ew!” We both grimaced. The conversation dipped awkwardly.

“So… how do you two know each other?” Eret prompted us.

“Oh, from way back when, like paleozoic. Grade school era.”

“I moved from the Netherlands in the first grade and Tommy was the one I got partnered with on the first day.” 

“Passengers,” Suddenly the robotical intercom kicked on, nearly scaring me out of my skin. “We’ll be arriving soon. Check under your seat-” 

“Check under your seat to make sure you don’t leave behind any grandchildren.” Tommy commented over the recording sarcastically. 

“And if you picked up a complimentary disposable radio, remember to tune to 102.3 at the various plaques…” It droned on.

“Ooh! We should get a picture!” Tommy suddenly stood, dragging Eret and I back to the bow of the ferry. 

“Fine. Just… hold the camera out. Like… far. I don’t look my freshest right now.” I told Tommy as he pulled out his phone. I ran a hand over my ears, trying to smooth down my fur that had puffed up due to the humidity.

“It’s true, Eret. This is like B Minus Fundy.” Tommy grinned.

“Take the picture you child!” I nudged him. 

“I am not a child!” Tommy retorted while holding out the camera. We all smiled as the audible click came from the phone.

“There! Great. I’ll magic erase all the warts out and stuff, so don’t worry.” Tommy checked over the photo.

Eret made a face at the mention of warts and rolled his eyes. 

“Hey, Furry. Did you remember to bring that radio? The little portable one?” Tommy piped back up.

“Yeah.” I sighed, ignoring the comment as I took the object out my pocket.

“Our high school has a radio station and Finn- he’s a friend of ours- he’s filling in because TapL went on vacation with his family or something.” Tommy explained as I began twisting the knob to find the station. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that he’s gonna say something like… basically right now about our thing so…”

We all intently listened to the radio as I found the right station, 88.3.

“... Which I played because Karl wouldn’t stop singing it during math class!” Finn seemed to be talking about the song that was just on. “But… oh! Look at the time! Just after ten o’clock. Which means my dear friend Tommy and his bros are probably just touching down on Edwards island for the yearly bash on the beach…. Or whatever we call it now.”

“But anyways, I promised him that I’d play a song from his channel, so hope you're tuned in, Tommy! Here’s Able Sisters- Sable and Mable from Animal Crossing. He’s been tormenting me to play it for ages so here. Please stop.” 

The familiar song came on. I groaned quickly, shutting it off.

“Haha!” Tommy crowed. “I finally got him to do it!” 

His victory rant was cut off as the ferry’s horn blasted above us. 

“There’s no radio reception on the island.” Tommy continued. “I’m glad I got to hear it before it went totally kaput.”

“If we can’t use it, why’d you bring it? Not just for the boat?” Eret inquired.

“Um, no. You’ll see. Don’t expect too much but… nah. It’ll be fun. I won’t undercook it.” Tommy waved his hands mysteriously. “You’ll see.”

We all shut up as the boat began nearing the dock. The old man running the ship helped us get off, before pulling away again. 

“Oh boy! Smell that clean air, lads! This ain’t city livin’!” Tommy gestured to the now dark heavens. “My other friends should be up around the bend.”

“Actually,” Eret said nervously, waiting at the top of the dock stairs. “I mean, I don’t mean to be the guy to break us up already, but Tommy, could you do me a favor? Can I have two quick minutes with Fundy?”

“Uh… you sure?” Tommy hesitated. I glanced back up at Eret. The older boy seemed sincere.

“Something wrong?” I wondered.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just need a minute.” Eret glanced at the street light above.

“Alright, but- Look, I don’t wanna go up by myself. I mean, can’t we just stick together? You’re gonna have all night to say, like… whatever.” Tommy pleaded, using his puppy dog eyes. 

“But you were going to meet your friends, right?”

“Yeah but there further-”

“Tommy, it’s alright. Just wait for us at the end of the town, okay?  We’ll catch up with you there.” I reasoned. 

“Alright.” Tommy sighed, walking off. “Though this is a really strange way to start off, splitting up.”

“Thanks man!” Eret called after him, before turning to me. “He seems nice. Funny.”

“Yeah, he’s… what did you want to talk about? Before I suspect something nefarious.” I teased, coming back to the top of the stairs. 

“Listen, I just wanted to grab you ahead of time and say you’ve been…. Cool… about everything. And I guess it’s just - for me, I’ve never moved anywhere, ya know? And, like, getting a new family at the same time kinda feels like I’m skipping the training wheels.”

“Not that it’s bad! You and your mum have been great!”

“Eh, we’ll make do.” I nudged Eret playfully. “Lemons, lemonade, however that goes.”

“You idiot.” Eret and I laughed. 

“Oh, thanks for setting up the attic for me, by the way. It’s cool, how it’s a little bedroom.” 

“No problem…” I looked at the dark water. I really didn’t want to touch that subject. “It’s nice, at night, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Not chilly.” Eret nodded. “We can- we can catch back up with Tommy now. I didn’t mean to take so long.”

We walked down the stairs into the parking lot. Commenting on the lonely car, I noticed a blocked off road. I decided to ignore it in favor of heading up the long staircase to the little shops that made the town of the island. 

“Oh, what’s that?” Eret pointed at the statue as we reached the top. A bird on a pedestal with a whale below it. 

“I forgot this was even here.” I chuckled. “It’s a monument to some submarine that was sunk off the coast.”

“Oh, wait. Can’t you do that radio guide thing like the boat said?” Eret looked excited. “I wanna see how it works.

“Sure.” I pulled the thing out of my pocket.

“It was…. 101 or 102, I think.”

I found the station. The voice of some tour guide came on. 

“Named after the Hawiian god of the sea, the USS Kanaloa was launched on January 15, 1941 and commissioned into service at the end of that year under the command of Lt. C. Dream...”

“Never heard of this before. Kinda creepy in a way, right?” Eret murmured. 

“On October 28, 1943, it was sunk by the Japanese sub chaser Tokisada some 25 miles off the coast of Washington…”

“Yeah, I hate thinking about it. It reminds me of those scenes in movies where sailors have to seal somebody up to drown or else the flooding will take the whole ship, you know?” I shivered at the idea.

“... and remains, to this day, the only submarine casualty in American waters. Eighty-five officers, as well as twelve Army passengers, were lost.”

“Yeah, no. I always thought submarine duty was, like, the worst possible war assignment. There’s no way out if something goes wrong.”

I turned off the radio as the recording began again. We continued through the town. All the stores were closed. Probably because it was starting to become winter and we took the last ferry here. 

“Hello kids. The other guys and gals must be further up, so be quick now.” Tommy’s voice suddenly called from the top of a ramp. We laughed, running up to him. 

“Okay, speed-read definition of Edwards Island. This is a tourist trap with shops and beach. Nobody lives here except some geriatric named Mr. Halo. But, cross my heart and hope to die, we’ll never mention him or any other old person’s name again.”

“We are here to drink and be stupid. A tradition apparently started by bored recruits in the nineteen fifties who would sneak dates over from the coastal towns. They literally called it ‘trawling’.”

“Wow, interesting.” I lightly mocked. Eret snorted behind me.

“Yeah, like kids at camp or something.” Tommy shrugged. “So, to summarize, we are not allowed here after dark. The town is shut down, and we - the L’manberg High Junior Class- have come to commit improper acts.”

We came to a fence just taller than me. I frowned, glancing at Tommy. 

“The beaten path officially ends here. The beach is past the fence a way. I think Nikki told me that there’s a way that they used to get over there, but… I can’t remember how. I mean, can’t be too difficult.” Tommy looked around.

“Dumpster?” Eret pointed to the relatively empty bin sitting by the edge of the path. 

“Perfect, we can push it over and close the lid.” I got beside him and helped. 

“And the other thing about this nowhere island,” Tommy stayed back to finish his story. “Is the weirdo caves.”

“The weirdo caves?” Eret echoed incredulously. 

“The whole reason Fundy brought the radio is because when you go to the- it’s like ‘front’--

“The mouth.” I supplied.

“The mouth of this particular cave, you can sometimes pick up frequencies to stations that don’t exist.” Tommy grinned. “You’ll hear voices or just... sounds… And they’re impossible to get anywhere else on the island. Crazy, right?”

“It’s, um, it’s pretty creepy… at least I’ve heard.” Eret and I managed to get the dumpster into place. 

“I did it once. It’s amazing when it works.” 

“Okay, back up a minute here. What about that Mr. Halo guy? Is he the saint for the island or something?” Eret looked back at the town below us. 

“His family, I think, like owns or owned some of the island or something… he’s been shackled in the same spot for like seventy years. He’s kind of what you’d call a local legend. His house is on the other side of the woods.”

“I can’t imagine living in the same exact house looking at the same exact wall for that long a time.” I climbed up the dumpster and hopped over the fence. The other two joined me a heartbeat later.

We walked down the path, finding the trail that dipped down to the beach.

“Oh, before we get there, I should mention-” 

Tommy was cut off by laughter. 

“Who’s that?” Eret asked from behind me.

(Sorry if it's too long. But I shall try to post the next chapters every few days or so. Each should be around this long.)

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Riding High Ch 20: When The Bough Breaks...

Chapter Summary: Fliss finds herself in an impossible position…and her decision tips Frank’s world upside down.

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings:  Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N:  I  know I only updated a few days ago with Ch 19 but this one has been written for a wile and I finished yesterday so decided not to wait.

Don’t hate me…

Chapter Song:  Shattered by Trading Yesterday

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist 

And this day’s ending is the proof of time, killing all the faith I know.

“Was that another one?” Frank asked as Fliss tossed her phone onto the coffee table with an angry snort.

She nodded, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Frank sighed and looked at her “Honey…” “I know, I know…” she said, looking at him. “Look, I’ve made notes of every time I’ve had one so… its recorded. But again, it’s not like we can prove anything…they happen like twice a day and then nothing…hardly what they’ll call harassment.” Frank shifted slightly “This has been going on for 2 weeks now sweetheart.” “I’m well aware of that.” she snapped, before she shook her head “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get angry…not at you.” “Come here…” he said, opening his arms and she snuggled into him, leaning against his chest as his hand gently ran up and down her arm. “Maybe you should think about changing your number…and not putting the new one on the website.” “Yeah.” she conceded, “It’s not gonna help for work though…” “You can work round it.” he said, “Keep the business line and if you’re not there people will have to leave a message. Then, once you know your clients…you can give them your cell number.”

“Fucking ass hole is still making my life awkward.”

“Only if you let him.” Frank said gently “It’s a minor inconvenience to change your number but, if in the grand scheme of things all he has in his back pocket is sending you some dumbass birthday card and trying to piss you off with silent phone calls then…he’s just a pathetic fucking loser that’s trying to bully you into being scared.” “I’m not scared, just pissed off.” she shook her head “I know he’s a chicken shit, he wouldn’t dare come near me not when you’re on the scene…or my dad for that matter.” “Good, because if he did I’m not sure I’d be able to control myself.” Frank said softly.

“Maybe we should just pay someone to kill him.” Fliss said after a moment’s pause and Frank let out a snort “Bullet straight between the eyes.”

“Nah, too quick.” Frank sniffed, reaching for his beer “I’d dangle him over a tank of hungry sharks…lower him in inch by inch…”

“Or we could feed him to pigs, like in Hannibal.” Fliss mused.

“That’s also an option…no trace” he said, swallowing a mouthful of beer.

“You know they should teach this shit at schools” Fliss said, reaching for her own drink “How to get rid of bodies. I feel it is something everyone should be educated in.” “Maybe you should mention it to Bonnie.” he said as she took a sip of wine “Tell her you feel it is an educational rite of passage or some other inspiring shit like that…”

Fliss laughed, placing her wine glass down and shifting so that she was led on her front, half on-half off Frank, looking up at him as her chin rest on his chest.

“On a scale of 1 to 10 how much of a meltdown are we facing with Mary on tomorrow morning?”

“From her current mood I’d suspect a good 4 and a half, maybe a 5.” he mused, before he looked at Fliss “I don’t much care, she’s going whether she wants to or not.” “When do the University Classes start again?”

“Not till second week in October.”  Frank replied “Which reminds me, I need to submit that funding form tomorrow…” “It’s on the table.” Fliss said, as she correctly guessed from the look on his face he was pondering where he had put it.”

“What would I do without you?” he grinned down at her.

“I have absolutely no idea.” she shrugged and he smiled and leaned down pressing a kiss to her lips.

“Did you speak to Evelyn before?” Fliss asked him and he nodded.

“She’s coming down this weekend.” Frank said, “She’s still on about Mary going to Boston for a weekend.” “You still not comfortable about her going?” Fliss asked.

Frank wrinkled his nose “I don’t know if I trust her fully yet.” “You’ll never know you can unless you give her a chance.” Fliss reasoned

“You think I should let her go?” Frank said, slightly surprised.

“That’s not my decision to make, Frank” Fliss shook her head.

“No, but I value your opinion.” Frank looked at her. “Go on, tell me what you think.” Fliss hesitated for a moment before she sat up and turned her body so she was facing him, her legs tucked underneath her on the sofa. “If it was me in your position, I’d give Evelyn a chance. She’s played ball so far, done everything you’ve asked her to. You’ve got legal guardianship of Mary so she can’t pull any stupid stunts, and if Mary comes back and tells you something she did that you don’t like, well, you cut the visits.” Frank looked at Fliss before he took another drink from his beer bottle. He was torn in two. In one respect he wanted Mary to be happy and it certainly seemed that she enjoyed seeing Evelyn, but on flip side he was still more than comfortable with keeping his Mother at arm’s length.

“I’ll think about it.” he shrugged, non-committedly.

“Well, you should also ask Mary.” Fliss said “She might not even want to go.” “She will.” Frank said, “Evelyn has a piano.” Fliss laughed “Yeah, but she’s also bossy, remember?”

“Yeah, I had heard that.” Frank said, and Fliss chuckled again.

“Well, can you not think about it right now?” she said, taking the beer bottle out of his hand.

“Hey…” he pouted as she put it down on the table, his pout soon turned into a smirk as Fliss moved so she was straddling him on the sofa, his t-shirt that she’d been lounging around in rode up her thighs slightly and his hands rubbed up the side of her bare skin. “Something on your mind baby girl?”

“What makes you think that?” she asked, sliding her hands up his chest, over the soft material of his top.

“Just a hunch…” he mumbled, as he reached up and gently gripped the back of her neck, pulling her head down to meet his.

****** “Hey Frank…”

Frank looked up and smiled at Alan as he walked into the work shop.

“Hey Alan, not seen you in a while, how you doing?” “Good…I’m good. I was just wondering if I could have a word in my office.”

“Sure.” Frank frowned “Is err, everything ok?” “Oh, yeah, it’s nothing to worry about…quite the opposite in fact…” “Alright, well me just finish piecing this oil filter together and I’ll be with you.”

“Sure.” Alan said, “No rush.”

Frank quickly tightened the filter back up, gave it the once over before he set down his tools and hopped off the boat, wiping his hands on a rag before he walked through the door at the back of the workshop and down the small corridor that led to the main office at the rear of the shop. He knocked sharply on the door and then swung it open as Alan looked at him, gesturing for him to take a seat whilst he finished up his call. Eventually, he bid the person on the other end good bye and placed the receiver down.

“Relax, Frank…” Alan chuckled as Frank adjusted his jeans for what felt like the 30th time since sitting down.

“Sorry.” Frank nodded, scratching at his temple. “So errr, do you need me to do something or...” “In a manner of speaking, yes.” Alan said “As you know Paul is retiring at the end of the year, which means the Head Mechanic role is up for grabs…and I was wondering if you’d be interesting in taking the position.” “Me?” Frank’s eyes widened slightly

Alan nodded “I know in the grand scheme of things you haven’t been here long but you’ve impressed me, just like Bill said you would. You knuckle down, you do the overtime if needed, you don’t complain…I like you Frank, and the team does to.” “I err…” Frank scratched the back of his neck. “I’m flattered…but I’ve never managed a team before or…”

“You were an Assistant Professor at one stage right?” Alan eyed him and Frank sighed, nodding “You must have had a research team…” “Yeah, but…” “It’s no different.” Alan shook his head, “And I’m here to help and give you some guidance. I’m not quite ready to retire fully yet. Not like Bill, only so much golf I can play before I go fucking nuts.” Frank snorted “Yeah, not gonna lie, it’s not my thing…” Alan looked at him “The duties won’t be that much different Frank. You’ll just be in charge of booking the jobs in, allocating them to the guys, keeping on top of deadlines and general management of the team…means a little less time spent actually getting your hands dirty but…well, you can manage that yourself. You wanna take a job you take it.”

“Can I take a bit of time to think it over?” he asked.

“Sure. Take a few days, let me know. I’d like to have whoever is taking over in a position to start the handover by the beginning of October if possible so…” “Thanks.” Frank nodded “I’ll give it some thought.” “Oh, and it also comes with a Ten thou a year raise…” Alan casually dropped in as Frank stood up “Plus a bonus each year of up to 20 percent, depending on how well you’ve done on your targets” “Just a minor detail you forgot to tell me.” Frank arched an eyebrow.

“Well, I wanted to make sure you’d consider it for the right reasons not merely the financial incentive.” Alan shrugged “Another reason I’m convinced you’re perfect for the job.” Frank nodded and with that he left the office. Given that it was almost lunch time he took his break 15 or so minutes earlier and headed out into the September sun, pulling out his phone.

“Hey Sailor.” Fliss greeted him.

“Hey Cowgirl.” he smiled, leaning against the hood of his truck sipping a bottle of water “You got a sec.” “For you, always. What’s up?”

“Nothing, nothing bad anyway…I just got offered a promotion.”

“Frankie that’s amazing!” She gushed “You sound surprised though.” “I am, a little.” he said, before he launched into an explanation of what Alan had told him and what the job would entail, plus the financial incentives.

“Wow!” she said as he finished talking “Baby, that’s fantastic. I’m so proud of you!”

Frank felt himself blushing at her praise, and despite the fact he couldn’t even see her he rubbed at his neck slightly. “So, you think I should take it?” “Of course I do.” she said eagerly “But at the same time, if you don’t want to then…you don’t have to. This is a great position to be in honey, Alan’s clearly seen your potential.”

“Just not sure If I’m cut out to be management.” he said, biting his lip.

“I had the same thoughts about my business you know.” she spoke gently “I wasn’t sure if setting up on my own after everything that happened was gonna work but then Dad told me that I’d never know unless I took the plunge. Have a little faith in yourself. The only person who doubts your capability is you.”

Frank smiles at her words and looked up and out over the Marina “You always know exactly what to say.” “Not really, I make most of it up as a go along.” she said and Frank laughed. “But, just think, with the extra money you can get a new car…” “There’s nothing wrong with my truck.” “Frank, it’s died on you 4 times in the last 2 weeks. Dad reckons his ride on lawnmower has more power under the hood than that thing”

“Ok, I’ll admit…she’s getting a little clunky…but she is into her twenties now….” Fliss snorted “You could get yourself a nice Audi…”

“Fuck off.” Frank said and she laughed

“I like Simon’s car…” “You like it so much you get one.”

“Would never fit Thor in the back.” she said and Frank had to concede she had a point “But now you’re freelancing…you don’t actually need a truck do you?” “No, but…it’s handy…” “Handy, baby it only has 3 seats…” “And a flatbed…” Frank pouted slihglty. “So get one with 5 seats.” she shrugged. “You can buy trucks with a full cab…”

“This is not a good enough reason to get me to take the promotion…”

“You want a better reason?” She said. “Ok, well here’s some food for thought…when the lease is up on our place maybe we could look into buying. You know I don’t wanna rent forever, I want us to have something for the future that’s ours, and the extra money you get a year would make a difference in what we can borrow towards it.” And just like that, as always, she’d managed to sideswipe him. He’d be lying if he hadn’t considered getting back on the property market, he had savings after all…but he’d given it no more thought than a fleeting idea every now and then when he drove past places with real estate signs in the front yards

“This mean you’re coming round to the idea of marrying me and having baby Franks and Flisses?” he teased She snorted “You’re such a dick…although that’s the only time you’ve ever mentioned that when you’re sober.” “So you’re saying that if I ask you when I’m not drunk you’d say yes?” he teased. “Goodbye Frank…” She teased in an airy voice, before she cut the call.

Chuckling to himself he slid the phone back into his pocket and headed back inside to grab his lunch from the fridge in the kitchen. As he did so he passed Alan who was heading out with a fresh cup of coffee.

“Oh, erm…Alan…” Frank looked at him. “So, turns out I don’t need as much time to think about it as I thought I did. I’ll take the job.” Alan smiled at him and pat him on the shoulder “Good man. I’ll get the wheels in motion and then we can work out how we start to transfer Paul’s responsibilities over.”

Frank nodded at him as he walked off.

“Oh…” Alan said, “We’ll also need to pick your car.”

“My car…” Frank frowned.

“Yeah, did I not mention? Paul’s BM…that’s a company car. I’m gonna let him keep it as a retirement present so we’ll need to order you another one. Not least because I don’t want my Head Mechanic driving around in that heap of shit you have. Looks like we don’t pay you enough…” Frank stood there, eyebrows raised as Alan simply smirked at him and left. Shaking his head, he gave a little groan, already imagining Fliss’ face when he told her.

*****

Fliss had reacted exactly how he had thought she would, laughing hysterically and then teasing him about how he had no alternative now than to get rid of the heap of shit he was ridiculously attached to. She’d then spent the evening looking at cars on her phone, showing him ridiculously pimped out vehicles in various vile colours, the final straw being a hot-rod red Mustang with gold rims and flames painted down the side. At that point he’d snatched the phone out of her hand, grabbed her hips and pulled her down under him on the couch and given her something else to think about for half an hour or so.

September ticked by, in the usual speed by which time seemed to be flying for Frank and he found himself thrown into his job, soaking up Paul’s experience of managing the team as much as he could. He was also extremely grateful for both Fliss and Bill’s input, both of them having dealt with managing staff and rotas so he was able to ask them both questions as well. Naturally, when V heard about it she insisted on cooking him a special dinner, and even Evelyn presented him with a very nice bottle of Scotch when she came to visit as a Congratulations.

Another bit of good news for them was that once Fliss changed her phone number the calls stopped as well. Frank was glad about that, because it meant that once again they’d thwarted the ass holes attempts to intimidate her. She’d made a blog, however, of every call she had gotten which now sat in Greg’s files along with the Card. Just in case.

Nope, on the whole life seemed to be going well for the pair of them.

“Someone’s looking smug…” Greg teased Frank as he leaned back in the chair around Greg’s large outdoor table. It was a Saturday at the start of October and they’d finally got round to having that cook out and gathering that the Circle of Truth had been attempting to organise round everyone’s schedule for the last 3 months.

“Well, you know…life’s pretty good.” Frank smiled, sipping his beer, his eyes straying to Fliss who was stood around the bar area to the right of the garden with Bonnie, Zara and Lisa. She was dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a tie-died off the shoulder sweater but as usual, she looked stunning.

“You got a ring yet?” Jake asked, dropping down into a seat next to him.

“Oh don’t you start as well.” Frank groaned as Simon and Greg both laughed. “We’re happy as we are…besides, we’ve not even been together a year yet…” “Not far off.” Jake shrugged “Man, when you know you know…” “He’s just scared she’ll say no.” Simon teased. Frank stilled for a moment and then turned to glare at the man. “Shit, you are?” Simon frowned “No, not especially but…” Frank shook his head, trying to find the words to explain “I’m absolutely, totally convinced I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and I know she feels the same but…well she’s been married before and I don’t want to ask until I know she’s ready to do it again.”

Greg looked at him, nodding “I get that.”

“That’s gotta be the most grown up think you’ve ever said…” Jake looked at Frank who flipped him off but deep down he had to admit, it wasn’t wrong. He knew that both he and Fliss had come a long way from the people they had been just over 14 months ago when they had first met. Fliss had come alive, flourished even in herself, and he…well, he’d learnt that there was more to life than a meaningless cycle of one night stands and that flying by the seat of his pants wasn’t always the most productive thing to do. Both of them had been broken in their own way, had their own guards and walls around themselves which the other had managed to smash straight through. He stole another glance at Fliss and smiled, he knew there was no other woman for him, but in the same breath…what was the rush? They had a life time. And a ring and a piece of paper wasn’t going to change any of that.

“Man you grew up…” Simon said, and Frank rolled his eyes.

“Look, I’ll have you know I’ve brought up a kid since the age of 6 months…all this shit about me being a man child…It’s crap…”

“Whatever man…we all know you’re not a grown up until you have scatter cushions on your sofa…” Simon teased, referencing the previous week when he and Bonnie had come over for drinks and Fliss and Frank had had a jokey argument about the cushions on the sofa. Frank threw his head back in a huge bout of laugher, shaking his head.

“Fuck you!” he said, looking at him as Simon grinned.

“Anyway, man…speaking of weddings…” Greg turned to Jake “You’ve been engaged for what? like 3 years now…when you gonna set a date?”

“He has a point…” Simon looked at him.

“Well, you can all shut the fuck up because for your information we have.”

“Shut the front door!” Greg grinned

Jake nodded and took a large mouthful of his beer.

“So you gonna tell any of us or…” Jake glanced over at Lisa before he yelled her name and she looked over at him, the other women also looking up.

“Can we tell them now babe?” he called. Lisa grinned and nodded, and then made her way over followed by Zara. Fliss looked at Bonnie who shrugged, and the two of them picked up their drinks and followed.

Fliss perched on Frank’s knee and he slid one hand round her waist the other dropped to her thigh.

“So, we have set a date for the wedding.” Lisa smiled to a huge shriek from Zara. Frank spotted Fliss looking at Bonnie, the two of them sharing a significant smirk and he squeezed her thigh.

“Stop being a bitch.” he said in a low voice.

“Rude…” she mumbled, grinning into her gin.

“6th April next year…” Jake grinned. “At Hardemans Secret Garden in Dover, Tampa.” “Well unless you invented a time machine, it ain’t gonna be this year is it?” Simon looked at him, before he gave a yell as Bonnie slapped him round the back of the head.

“Obviously you’re all invited.” Jake said, “Except for Simon.” “Hang on, if he isn’t coming does that mean I can’t?” Bonnie pouted.

“You can be my plus one.” Fliss nodded.

“Oi…” Frank said, nipping her thigh gently. She grinned at him, ruffling his hair slightly. He jerked his head out of her reach and looked at her over his aviators. She stuck her tongue out at him and he grinned.

“Guys this is great news…” Greg said, nodding “Best dig the suit out.” “You wear a suit to work every day.” Zara looked at him.

“And you won’t need to.” Jake shook his head. “In fact none of you will…my brother is best man, obviously, but I’d like you guys there as my Groomsmen…that is, if you’re up for it.” Frank smiled at Greg, then Simon before they all shrugged.

“Yeah, I’m in…” Greg smiled,

“Me too pal, I’m honoured.” Frank smiled, tipping his beer bottle in Jake’s direction.

“Does this mean we get to plan the Batchelor party?” Simon asked. Jake nodded with a grin and Simon leaned back “Oh this is gonna be beautiful….”

***** “You’re fucking mental.” Frank looked at Fliss as she shrugged, circling Cap back round to the jump which Joanne had just hiked up another foot. He shook his head and turned away “I can’t watch.” “Don’t’ be a chicken Frank.” Mary grinned up at him, “It’s cool…I wanna do that some day.” “Over my dead body.” Frank looked down at her.

“Yeah you said that about me going to Boston…” “No, that’s not what I said.” Frank sighed, looking at her “I said over my dead body were you going to live with Evelyn….and did you?” “No…” Mary conceded “But you’re letting me go back for a weekend.”

“Yes, because you’re going for 2 nights and coming home” he said, and despite himself he turned his head to see Fliss sail Cap over the huge jump.

“See….” Fliss said, pulling the horse up to a stop “Easy…” “Whatever you say sweetheart.” he shook his head.

“Can I jump Monty soon?” Mary asked, and Fliss smiled.

“Yeah we can do a little cross pole…” “I give in…” Frank groaned, throwing his hands out to the side “The pair of you are nuts…”

“Says the guy who almost cried when he had to order a new car.” Fliss looked at him and Frank rolled his eyes “I mean who does that?” “Yeah Frank…” Mary said, swinging off the fence to the paddock, leaning back to look at him. “You get to swap a rust bucket for a shiny new Mitsubishi  truck and you were like heartbroken.” “Hey, me and that truck have seen a lot of action-“

“I don’t wanna know…” Fliss started.

“Of which you’ve been part of…” he smirked her and she flushed a little, grinning. “I’m kinda attached to it.” “It’s a lump of metal.” Fliss looked at him.

“How dare you.” Frank scoffed, feigning offence.

“Well now you can have new adventures in the new truck.” Mary shrugged “Simples.” “When you do get it I vote the first thing we do is load it up and head off for a picnic somewhere.” Fliss said, hopping off Cap.

“I can go with that.” Frank nodded as she turned and walked towards the gate, letting her out.

“Can I take him?” Mary asked, hopping down off the fence.

“Sure…” Fliss said, handing her the reins. Mary led the horse away to the barn as Fliss removed her hat and pulled out her bobble, shaking her long hair free before she tied it back up again.

“I really do like it that colour.” Frank mused after a second, watching her. She blushed a little, and he knew why. A week ago she’d come back from the salon, her usually bright auburn hair was a lot more demure, having had caramel and dark brown put through it. When Frank had complimented her on the change she’d gotten a little shy and said that she used to have it like that when she was younger, but upon splitting with John had decided she wanted a completely different look. Now she felt like she wanted to go back to who she was, not needing to put that distance between her and her past anymore. Her admission had once again, knocked him for 6, how simple little things like that were so huge for her. He was also beyond happy she felt like that too.

She pulled off her riding gloves, shoved them into her back pocket and they walked into the barn as Mary opened Cap’s stable and led him inside. As always, the large horse bowed his head gently to allow Mary to undo his bridle and Fliss smiled. Cap was secretly her favourite after Heidi. He was such a loving animal, despite his size always being so gentle and careful around people, especially Mary. Most animals were like that around her, she just had this aura that they seemed to like. But then again, everyone said that animals were a good judge of character.

“Can we go to the shack for dinner?” Mary spoke up, looking at Frank “It is Saturday…”

“Oh, I dunno…” Frank sighed, “Not sure my heap of shit truck will get us there.” “No but Fliss’ jeep will.” Mary shrugged and Frank shook his head with a snort.

“You literally have an answer for everything.”

“Wonder where she gets that from…” Fliss looked at him and he nudged her gently with his elbow.

“So can we go or not?”

“Yes, ok we can go to the shack.” Frank said “But the deal is you tidy your room when you get home. It’s a disgrace.” Mary pondered this for a moment as Fliss undid the girth on Cap’s saddle, pulling it off.

“Deal.” she nodded “Only Fliss said she was gonna help me sort my clothes out…some of them don’t fit anymore.”

“Yeah we do that tomorrow morning.” Fliss smiled, “Then we can look at ordering you some warm stuff for New York.” “oooh yeah, are we still getting matching sweaters when we get there?” “No.” Frank said, at the same time Fliss nodded.

“Yes.” “No, we’re not.” Frank looked at her.

“Errr 2 vs 1 Sailor, you’re outvoted.” she shrugged, pushing past him with the saddle on her arms. “But if you’re a good boy we’ll let you pick them right Mary?” “I dunno.” Mary frowned “Have you seen his shirts?” Fliss let out a roar of laughter and turned to face her, before she looked at Frank, laughing even harder at the pure indignation on his face.

“I hate you both.” he said sullenly, folding his arms.

The Shack was busy by the time they arrived but given that it wasn’t too cold they managed to find a small table outside and ordered their food, Mary getting through an astonishing amount considering but the Frank had noticed she was going through a bit of a growth spurt which he mentioned to Fliss when they were snuggled up on the sofa later.

“Not sure getting her any stuff for New York yet is wise.” he mused “If she carries on like she is it won’t fit her.”

“Well we can wait…Fliss said shrugging, her hand rubbing at Frank’s stomach under his shirt. “You have no idea how excited I am…” “Really?” Frank snorted “You never mentioned it.” “Oh piss off” she laughed, before she sighed happily “It’s the one thing I miss about home and Boston…you know this time of year the leaves would be changing colour and falling,…”

“I know what you mean.” he said, his hands carding through her hair “You don’t really Seasons here.”

“Well you do…” Fliss said, “Hurricane and Summer.” Frank let out a laugh as she looked up at him. “You know you’re my hurricane.”

“What?” he looked at her

“Came into my life, blew it all upside down…” “Jesus you talk some shit!” he laughed, shaking his head as she grinned.

“You know there was actually a hurricane Frank back in 2010.” she said “So I’m not talking complete shit…” “Whatever Sweetheart…” he snorted, leaning back as her nails scratched against his skin. He gave a twitch and grabbed her wrist, and looked down at her as she flashed him a coy look. “Stop it.”

“What, this?” she moved and used her other hand, and Frank let out a hiss as he shifted and grabbed that one too.

“You know what that does to me…” he looked at her, his voice low.

“Yup.” she nodded, grinning.

With a jerk of his arms he pulled her forward so she fell onto him fully, drawing a giggle from her as her nose bumped against his.

“I fuckin’ love you.” he smiled at her, and she grinned, giving him a soft kiss.

“Yeah, you’ve told me once or twice…” she smirked, her lips locking onto his.

******

“Fliss?”

“Office…” she called back, and a second or so later Joanne popped her head into the room.

“Everything’s done.” she said, “I was gonna lock up…you’re not normally here this late.”

“Yeah I know but I have some paper work to sort. Need to file a couple of things and, well, thought it would be easier to do it here than take everything home. Frank’s taken Mary bowling so…” “And you’d rather be here doing paper work?” Joanne teased.

“Sadly, it needs doing…besides, last time we went I kicked his ass, again, he sulked for hours.” Fliss snorted “Maybe he stands more of a chance against Mary.”

“Won’t he let her win?” Joanne asked “I mean, she is only 8…”

“Have you met Frank?” Fliss looked at Jo. “He says that she needs reminding every now and then that she’s not a genius at everything…” Joanne let out a laugh “Fair enough. Ok, well I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, by Jo…”

Fliss set about getting to work, filing the various bills and disclaimers she’d had signed and started then sifting through the list of clients and payments, checking who owed what and typing out the bills for the month. Once they were printed and placed in envelopes, ready to be tacked to the stable doors in the morning she glanced at the clock and realised it was almost 8 pm.  Frank and Mary should be home now.

She was just about to pack up when she realised she hadn’t gone through the post for the day. For a second she debated leaving it for the morning, but decided she would get it over with. There wasn’t much- mostly a couple of letters from various equestrian societies around the area about a few events going on, but the last one she reached was a manila envelope with the address typed out on the front.

She turned it over, opened it and then pulled out the contents and immediately felt her blood run cold as she looked at the paper in front of her. It was a copy of the photo of her and Mary, taken from the first Blog that Mary had written over the summer. Underneath it was typed a simple message- I always knew you’d suit motherhood.

Fliss swallowed, it didn’t take a genius to work out who it was from but for the first time since his ridiculous campaign now she was actually frightened as to the meaning behind this. Up until now it he’d been nothing more than annoying but this was designed to be more than an aggravation.

It was a threat. A direct threat telling her he knew about Mary.

Whilst Fliss wasn’t Mary’s mother, and would never claim to be she loved that girl like she was her own and the fact that John was even brining her into this made her feel physically sick, so much so that she felt the bile rising in her throat and with a sharp heave she lurched to the side, grabbing the waste paper basket and hocking up the bitter substance. Coughing she wiped the back of her mouth with a shaking hand, reaching for the bottle of water on her desk.

She folded the photo up and stuck it back in the envelope, shoving it in the drawer before she stood up and locked her office, heading to her jeep. Her mind was reeling, now it wasn’t just her he was focussing on, this changed everything. Did she tell Frank? She knew she should, she couldn’t leave Mary in danger. Not that she believed any harm would come to her, not really, especially not under Frank’s care but that was another worry she had. That if she told Frank this, it was really going to push him over that edge into blind rage, and he’d been on the first plane out to Boston, hunting the fucker down…and then what?

He ended up in jail himself because Fliss knew Frank well enough to understand that if that blind rage took hold, he wouldn’t stop.

She had no answer to this, nothing. She sat in her jeep, staring out of the window, trying to force the thoughts and mumbles and voices in her heat to quiet, so she could think clearly, get some form of grasp on what it was she needed to do. And then one voice was screamed at her, clearly, giving her a solution…the only one she could viably see working.

With a loud sob, Fliss covered her face in her hands, unable to see an alternative to the decision she had just reached. A decision that was going to break her heart more than anything had ever done before.

******

“Hey, you’re late…”  Frank looked up, immediately frowning as he saw Fliss’ face. “Honey…what…” “Where’s Mary?” she asked instantly.

“She nipped to Roberta’s” Frank said “I know it’s late but we saw her as we were headed out of the car and she wanted to collect something for Show and Tell tomorrow…why?”

“We need to talk.” Fliss said.

Frank stood up off the sofa and walked towards her, he reached for her and she took a step back.

“Ok, Fliss, you’re scaring me now…what…”

“I think…” Fliss looked down at her hands “I think that we need to stop seeing each other.” Frank blinked, not sure he had heard her right, but when he looked at her he saw a tear trickling down her face and she was avoiding his gaze. The world around him began to fade and a dull buzzing filled his head and rang around his ears as a horrible cold feeling washed over him.

“Lissy…” he swallowed, his words sticking in his throat “What’s brought this on? Did I do something? Are you not happy? I don’t understand…” “I just…it isn’t working for me…” she said, taking a deep breath and looking up at him. “You’re lying.” he said instantly, he could see it written all over her face “Fliss, what’s going on?” “Nothing, I’m sorry. I just…I need to leave, I need space.” she said “I’m so sorry Frank…” Frank took a deep breath, and watched as she turned to leave. After a second he hurried after her into the hallway, shaking his head.

“Lissy, please…talk to me…” he all but begged as she walked to the door. She made to open it but Frank was behind her and placed his hand firmly on the top of the PVC, causing it to shut. She spun round and looked up at him, the tears now pouring down her face.

“Please, Frank…don’t make this any harder than it is…” her voice was broken, and she shook her head. “I don’t understand what THIS is?” he looked at her, running a hand through his hair as he felt the stinging of tears in his own eyes “Last month we were talking about buying a house together and now you just wanna break it off, for no reason? Baby, just…whatever is going on, we can work through it, just talk to me.”

“I’m so sorry…” she whispered, “Just…let me out…please…”

He looked at her again, her eyes bouncing across his and he knew instantly he couldn’t stop her, and would never do that to her either, no matter how much he so desperately wanted to lock the door and force her to tell him what the fuck was going on. So with a sniff he forced himself to step back and her hand went to the door knob, her shoulders shaking.

“Liss, please…” he said, his voice cracking. “Don’t do this…”

She took a deep breath and opened the door, the warm air from outside hit him in the face before the click of the latch hit his ears as the door shut behind her, leaving him stood alone in the hallway, stunned and utterly, utterly broken.

[abundanceofsoph]

SkyFire 3: Chapter 9

BBC Radio 1 Breakfast Show with Nick Grimshaw : October 2017   

Word count: 3.8k

SkyFire 3 MASTERLIST

Please for the love of god, if you like the story just hit the reblog button. I’m starting to run out of motivation to post since no one ever shares these chapters.

>Instagram posts

After the Phoenix show, the band took a weeklong break before meeting back up in Paris to kick off the European leg of the tour. During their break, Adam returned home to his young family and Sarah and Mitch took a short vacation together, while Aurora and Harry joined Niall in celebrating the release of his debut album, Flicker. They, along with Liam, Louis and some of Niall’s friends and family all arrived at his London house for dinner and drinks to celebrate the launch after Niall had spent the day doing press. It was a really casual evening, with everyone scattered throughout the living room, kitchen, and heated patio. Later in the evening Aurora found herself sandwiched on the sofa between Liam and Louis while Harry was off being the social butterfly he was, flitting from one conversation to the next. Rori loved that about the two of them, as much as they loved each other they never felt the need to be glued to each other’s sides when out with friends. She had just finished filling the boys in on the excitement of the first leg of the tour when Liam posed a question.

“I noticed you guys have a 2 week break between Milan and Singapore,” he said. “Got anything planned?”

“We’re planning to be home for 8 or 9 days and then fly to Singapore a few days early to hopefully explore a little,” Rori explained. “Why?”

“Well I was wondering if you wanted to get in the studio with me,” Liam replied. “Lou and I wrote a song a few months back and the demo I put together got selected for the next Fifty Shades soundtrack, but they want it to be a duet. We thought you’d be the perfect fit.”

“Oooh, that sounds like fun,” Rori smiled. “Do you have the demo on your phone?” Liam nodded and Rori fished her AirPods out of her purse and quickly linked them with Liam’s phone to listen through the track. “I love it!” she declared once it reached the end. “Oh, this is going to be so much fun.”

They were interrupted from continuing by a slightly tipsy Niall calling everyone’s attention to where he was standing on the coffee table.

“EVERYONE!” Niall yelled. “I just wanna thank ya all for being here to celebrate all of this. It’s mental that after so many months my baby is finally out in the world and every single one of you played a part in helping make this happen.”

“TO NIALL!” Rori yelled, raising her glass in the air. Everyone echoed her words, cheersing the jolly Irishman.

xXx

A week and a half after Niall’s album launch, after shows in both Paris and Cologne, the Styles’ were back in London for two back to back shows in Hammersmith. The day after the shows, before they headed up to Manchester Harry was due to appear on Nick Grimshaw’s breakfast show on BBC Radio One as Kiwi was releasing as a single that day. Unfortunately, when Harry came of the stage after the second show his voice was in shambles. The tour doctor headed straight for Harry’s dressing room and after a quick consult he was placed on vocal rest for the next 36 hours in preparation for the next show. Aurora immediately called Grimmy to explain the situation while Jeff attempted not to panic before joining her on the call. After much discussion between the 3 of them and many eye rolls from Harry, it was decided that Aurora would attend the interview the following morning so that Nick wasn’t left hanging without a guest and Harry would stay home to rest before travelling up to Manchester in the afternoon.

xXx

“Good morning you’re listening to BBC Radio One, I’m Nick Grimshaw and this morning I was supposed to be joined by Mr Harry Styles but unfortunately Hazza’s come down with a bit of a cold so he’s sent along his wonderful wife to fill in for him. Aurora thank you for joining me.”

“Thank you for having me Grimmy,” Rori replied. “Wish it was a bit later in the day, but you did buy me a coffee so I’ll let you off without too many complaints.”

“How generous of you love,” Nick smirked.

“Only for you,” she giggled, throwing a wink across the table towards her friend.

“So, I had all these fantastic, insightful question for Harry about the album and the tour and the release of Kiwi as a single today, but alas I’ve had to throw all that out the window. Figured since I’m bluffing the questions, we might have a bit of fun today and given that it’s Hazzas fault you’re up this early, what do you say we have that fun at his expense?”

“Are you gonna get me in trouble when I get home Nick?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it love. Besides we both know he’d never get mad at you, that boy is smitten with you.”

“We’ll see about that. What sort of fun did you have in mind?”

“How about we throw to a song and when we come back, I’ll start with a few softball questions.”

“You’re going to play nicely, aren’t you?” Rori asked as the mics were muted and a song started playing for the listeners.

“Of course,” Nick smiled. “I know where your boundaries are, and I text Harry last night to see what he was comfortable with us discussing in regards to song meanings and he gave us the all clear.”

“Alright then,” Rori sighed. “I guess it’s too late now to back out.”

“Oh, don’t be like that,” Nick laughed. “We’re gonna have a fun morning. You ready? Song’s almost done.”

Aurora nodded and readjusted her headphones.

“Welcome back, if you’re just tuning in, I’m joined this morning by the one and only Aurora Styles. Now Rori, your husband Harry, he’s a good mate of mine and the fans listening at home will be very aware that our boy H doesn’t like to talk about his private life much but between us gals I’ve got a few questions.”

“Oh god.”

“Now, now. We’ll have none of that. I’m wondering what married life is like?”

“It’s wonderful,” Rori answered. “We’ve been married for a little over 7 months now and it couldn’t be better.”

“And you’ve been together for what, 4 years now?”

“Something like that,” Rori agreed.

“What was it that first made you fall for him?”

“Oh um... I’m not sure what the first thing was, it just kind of happened. The dimples certainly didn’t hurt,” she joked. “But in all seriousness, I think it was just how genuine he was.”

“Boring,” Nick replied, rolling his eyes dramatically.

“No, I’m serious,” Rori laughed. “We met at the AMAs right before my first ever solo performance and I was in the middle of a panic attack and he just sat down next to me in the hallway and talked to me until I calmed down. We’d never met before and he just saw me freaking out and thought ‘I’m gonna help her’. You don’t find a lot of genuinely kind people in this industry and he’s always astounded me with how selfless he is.”

“That’s too cute. It’s disgusting. How do you manage being in a relationship with someone who is idolized by such an intensely loyal fan base?”

“Honestly, I love Harry’s fans. How could I not? They love the same things in him that I do. They recognize his talent and his kindness and they’re so supportive of everything he does. I’m honestly just so proud of him so of course I love his fans because he deserves to be adored.”

“You’re very sappy this morning sweetheart,” Nick replied. “Don’t get me wrong I’m loving it, you’re normally much sassier with me when you’re more awake. So how has it been being on tour with Harry and being a part of the band?”

“Oh my god, it’s so much fun. We have the best time when we’re all playing together, and we all get along so easily that it never feels like work. The tour has been incredible so far, getting to play this fantastic album to so many fans. I’m very lucky. There aren’t a lot of careers where you get to spend every day with your husband doing what you both love.”

“Speaking of the incredible album let’s play the new single Kiwi and when we come back, we might have a bit of a chat about the other tracks.”

After Kiwi finished, Nick grinned cheekily across the desk at Aurora as he welcomed the listeners back. “And we are back everyone, now before the song break, we were discussing Harry Styles, the self-titled debut of Harry Styles and Aurora I’d love to pick your brain about it since you were involved in the entire creation process, weren’t you?”

“From writing to recording,” Rori agreed.

“So which track is your favourite?”

“That’s tough. There are a lot of very personal songs on the album and in one way or another they’re all my favourites for very narcissistic reasons, but I think if I had to pick one, I think I have to pick Sweet Creature. It’s just a beautiful song.”

“You would pick a song written for you as your favourite.”

“I mean in my defence every song on the album is either about me or I wrote it so there was no humble way to answer that question, and also Nick,” she paused, smirking in anticipation for the rest of her sentence, “who said it’s about me?”

“Wait. Are you saying you’re not Harry’s Sweet Creature? Well who is it about? Did he step out on you?” Nick joked.

Aurora chuckled. “No, he didn’t step out on me, and I’m not telling you. She knows who she is and all I’ll say is that not all love is romantic love. Besides everyone who assumed it was about me didn’t even really listen to the song. I mean how could we have started out as ‘two hearts in one home’?”

“Well I’m sure all the fans listening are having a bit of a breakdown right now over that,” Nick laughed. “I want to come back to talking about the album later, but since you’ve never been shy about addressing fan theories, I thought it might be a bit of fun to look at what fans are talking about online. I’ve taken to Twitter, Instagram and Tumblr overnight to find out what's on their minds, what do you say Rori?”

“Let’s do it,” Rori replied.

“Excellent. Let’s play a song first and when we come back, we’ll be addressing fan questions, and speculations. This is Taylor Swift with Look What You Made Me Do.”

While the song played Rori and Nick talked and joked around about what he had found online and he promised, once again, that he wouldn’t put her in any uncomfortable situations.

“Welcome back,” Nick said. “This morning we’re answering the internets burning questions with Aurora Styles. First ones gonna be a soft ball Rors. It’s from twitter user @IwouldSellMyLeftKidneyForAuroraStark, who tweeted: My life is in desperate need for an Aurora Styles solo album/tour. Who do I have to kill to make this happen? So, when are we getting your solo work, love?”

“Oh wow, that’s very sweet,” Aurora replied with a blush, “But please don’t sell your kidney for me, you’re gonna need that. As for the solo work, while I appreciate the support, I don’t think I will ever go solo. I enjoy the collaborative process too much and a solo tour just wouldn’t be as much fun as touring with Harry. I will continue posting covers and demos to my YouTube channel and we have been tossing around the idea of a demo tape album so maybe you will get an album from me at some point.”

“Well I for one would be first in line for a vinyl of your Demo Tapes series,” Nick replied. “I found a tweet with a theory about some of your songs from twitter user @HarrysSuits. How cute is it that Aurora Styles has like 5 Songs that she’s written either about or with Harry that have the same or very similar titles to 1D songs? I mean there’s The Little Things, Just You and I, Still I Fly, Where I Belong, and All Night.”

“I mean when you lay it out like that there’s definitely a trend,” Rori admitted with a chuckle.

“You didn’t do it intentionally?” Nick asked.

“Not at all. Yikes. Makes me sound like a bit of a fan girl doesn’t it? Naming all my songs after theirs?”

“A little bit,” Nick chuckled, holding up his hand with his thumb and forefinger pinched together.

“How embarrassing,” Rori said sarcastically.

“Very embarrassing,” Nick replied with a matching tone. “I hope they don’t notice because how awkward would it be if they know you’re a fan?”

“I’d die.”

“Thank god this is a private chat that no one else is listening too,” Nick laughed. “Ok so earlier in the show you hinted at the story behind Sweet Creature and I was hoping, since Hazza isn’t here to stop us, we can dive into the rest of the album. The fans and I couldn’t help but notice that there seems to be a bit of a common theme throughout the album with it being tied into the Columbia shooting and I've got a fan observation here from the account @18monthsTheySaid, it’s quite an in-depth thread but I’d love to get your take on it so here we go:

Whatever you do, don’t think about the fact that at least 4 tracks off HS1 are about Aurora and the Columbia shooting. These are obviously just my interpretations of the songs and I might be wrong but I’m gonna say it anyway.

Meet me in the Hallway: I think this is about the immediate aftermath. He’s roaming the hospital hallways, needing pain relief and he’s ‘gotta get better’ because he feels the need to pull himself together and be there for Aurora. He’s begging her ‘Just let me know…’ because he’d do anything to fix it or make it easier for her.

Sign of the Times is probably one of the most overt ones on the album, I mean ‘why are we always stuck’n running from the bullets’? and I’m pretty sure ‘we don’t talk enough… will we ever learn?’ is about how we can never seem to have an actual conversation about gun reform in this country and until we do we’ll never change.

Two Ghosts: ‘we’re not who we used to be’ is obviously about the fact that they both changed so much in the wake of the shooting and I think the idea of them being ghosts is Harry examining the alternative reality where she didn’t survive and maybe he wouldn’t have survived it either.

Ever Since New York: I mean the title says it all really. ‘Tell me something I don’t already know’ is maybe asking the doctors for better news because she went through so many surgeries and the results were always the same. And ‘Brooklyn saw me empty at the news’ I think is reference to Rori’s dad, Steve Rogers who’s from Brooklyn and some of the Avengers call him that occasionally in interviews.”

Aurora remained silent for a moment once Nick finished reading out the twitter thread. She was so often blown away by how observant the fans were and how much they picked up on. “When we sat down to write the album in 2016 we were so heavily stuck in the aftermath of Columbia that I don’t think it’s a surprise to anyone that a lot of the album is in reference to what happened to me and the fallout from that,” she explained. “This album was about us piecing ourselves back together in many ways and I think if you listen to the whole thing you can hear that entire process of us healing together. The incredible thing about Harry as a songwriter and as a performer is that he’s always been so good at making you feel exactly what he’s feeling when he sings, and clearly people are picking up on that tone and over-arching theme.”

“Was it difficult to write about what happened?” Nick asked.

“Some days,” Rori admitted. “There were a lot of tears but the thing I love the most about music, and the entire song writing process, is that it’s the best form of therapy. When I’m writing I can admit to feelings I wouldn’t otherwise be able to talk about. You can be really vulnerable in way that feels safe and comforting and then when you’re able to share that with the world and you let them in, it’s an incredible experience.”

“And I think I speak for everyone when I say how much we appreciate you and Harry letting us in. Now before either of us get too mushy, let’s throw it over to your favourite track off the album. This is Sweet Creature.”

While the song played, Nick looked across the desk to where Aurora was taking a deep breathe to steady her nerves after talking about something so personal. She loved talking about song writing and the meanings behind her lyrics, but she always got a little nervous when it was Harry’s songs she was talking about, knowing that he felt the opposite about sharing the stories behind the songs. He had told her countless times that while he wasn’t comfortable having those conversations he would never stop her from talking about it, but his silence on the topic always made his fans desperate for information which put a lot of pressure on her when she spoke about his work.  

“Alright,” Nick said, “you ready for the last one?”

“Is it what I think it is?

“It is. Not too late to back out if you don’t want me to ask. We can just talk about the BBC recording or about the tour some more.”

“No, it’s ok,” she replied. “It’s about time I say something. Just nervous about the response.”

Nick nodded in understanding and turned back to the microphone as the song reached its end. Aurora felt her heartrate rising and her hand started to shake as anxiety clawed at her throat.

“Now we’ve been addressing fan theories and answering the internet’s burning questions here this morning and we can’t really have a segment like this without touching on the biggest theory surrounding Harry that dates back to the very early days of his career and I know neither of you have ever addressed this publicly but when we were chatting last night about you filling in for him I asked if it was ok to bring this up and you both agreed I could ask…”

Aurora shifted in her seat hesitantly, her palm growing sweaty as she anticipated the next question. She’d avoided commenting on it publicly ever since she and Harry announced their relationship, which was not to say she didn’t have strong opinions about the topic. She just knew that it would cause a stir amongst the fans.

“For years now, fans have speculated that Harry and his bandmate, Louis Tomlinson, are in a secret relationship and that they’re management forced them to hide it so as not to alienate their fan base. In the past both yourself and Louis’ girlfriends have been accused of acting as beards for the lads, but you’ve never addressed the overwhelming online presence of what the fans call Larry Stylinson.”

“I really don’t like talking about it, Grimmers,” Aurora began. “But I guess by staying silent a lot of fans have taken that as an answer, so what I will say is that I’m not angry at those fans. I am sad though. I’m sad that they think it’s ok to harass myself or Eleanor or Danielle or anyone else in Harry and Louis’ lives. I’m sad that they saw two boys who saw each other as family and loved each other and that those fans couldn’t accept that two men could show affection for each other without it being romantic love. What worries me are all the boys out there who see the way these girls have acted over the years and how much that has reinforced the toxic masculinity in their lives. The fear of being seen as gay stops so many boys and men from telling their friends that they love them. My best friend Ella and I act the exact same way as Lou and H did in the early days of the band but because we’re women no one has ever accused us of being lesbians. The harassment has affected all of us and I know that the fans are acting out of a place of love. They love the boys and they want them to be happy, but it’s honestly just gone too far, and it needs to stop. The Directioners are such wonderful people who are so inclusive and loving and I think they need to remember that and remember that we see the things that they say online. I guess if there was one thing I would say to those fans if they’re listening it would be that I know you love Harry and Lou, but by attacking myself and the other women in their lives you are hurting them and I’m certain that that is not what you want, so instead I ask you to channel that love into supporting them and lifting them up.”

“Thank you love. I know you don’t like talking about, but I must say I completely agree with you. Now we’re going to go to one more song and then when we come back, we’ll wrap this up and let you get on with your day. How about you introduce this next track, Rori?”

“Thanks, Grimmy,” Rori said. “From his incredible new album which dropped less than 2 weeks ago, here’s Niall Horan and myself with Seeing Blind.”

“You handled that well,” Nick told her once the mics were muted. “Kept your cool and explained yourself clearly.”

“Thanks,” Rori replied with a small smile. “Think I might stay offline for the next few days to avoid the worst of it.”

“Probably a good idea love,” Nick agreed. “Ready to finish this off?”

“Let’s do it.”

When the song ended the pair chatted for a few minutes about the rest of the tour before they reached the end of their timeslot. “Well thank you for joining me this morning for a bit of a cheeky gossip session Rors,” Nick finally said. “For those of you listening at home that are missing Harry this morning, tune in to BBC on Thursday night for Harry Styles at the BBC, an hour long show with live performances and interviews with yours truly.”

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

[dennou-translations]

Hoshiai no Sora: Mantan Web Cast Comment #1

Tell us about your realistic acting. || What memories do you have from your middle school years?

The TV anime “Hoshiai no Sora”, which has a middle school boys’ soft tennis club as its setting, started airing late at night on October 10th on TBS and other channels. It is an original anime directed by Akane Kazuki-san, who worked in series such as “Tenkuu no Escaflowne” and “Noein: Mou Hitori no Kimi e”. It depicts the youth of boys who shoulder all kinds of issues. The fact that wonderful voice actors such as Hanae Natsuki-san, who voices the protagonist, Katsuragi Maki - a transfer student that lives alone with his mother -, and Hatanaka Tasuku-san, who voices the soft tennis club’s captain, Shinjou Touma, would perform in it had already been a topic before the airing date. We have asked Hanae-san and Hatanaka-san about their thoughts on the series and memories of their middle school days.

Raw || Index || Next >>

◇ It is a vivid drama, as if the characters really exist.

——Do you have experience with tennis?

Hanae-san: I have experience both in the hard and soft styles. I learned the hard one in elementary school, and did the soft one in club activities during middle school.

Hatanaka-san: I did get to do it in class, but it was the hard style. Never the soft one… I was in the basket club in middle school.

——Please tell us your frank impressions when the roles were decided.

Hatanaka-san: I was thrilled from the moment I read the audition materials. Like, “This series is interesting!”. I was happy. It was probably going to be a serious story… I felt joy and nervousness at that.

Hanae-san: Since I had done tennis before, I had a strong feeling that “I wanna pass!”. I recorded tapes for the audition over and over.

——And your impressions about your characters?

Hanae-san: At first, I thought, “Maybe he’s cool and doesn’t let his emotions show on his face?”, but he also has a part of him that is just like a normal middle schooler. There are also the matters with his home environment, so he is indeed mature, but he has a childish side too. That was unexpected. Interesting, right?

Hatanaka-san: As for me, I had the impression that Touma was a step behind at first, but there is also a part of him that vents his feelings in a pure-hearted way. Maki and Touma’s conversations are very honest. They are realistic.

Hanae-san: Touma looks cool at a glance, but he is hot-headed. The feelings he puts into club activities are strong.

——I sensed realism in your acting.

Hanae-san: That’s right. Sense of mood is regarded as important when acting. We do the recording as if Maki and the others exist in real life. We connect our feelings with everyone in the spot. It is fun. I also have lots of dialogues with Tasuku-kun, and Tasuku-kun speaks while looking at me. It makes things easy for me.

Hatanaka-san: I want to feel their sense of closeness and mood. It’s really fun.

◇ A chance of co-acting with Hanae Natsuki has “finally come!”

——Is it the first time that you two outright co-act with each other in an anime?

Hanae-san: That’s right. We have done it in games, but it is a first in an anime.

Hatanaka-san: When the cast was announced, it felt like I had been waiting for this forever, so I was like, “We did it! It’s finally come!”. I had this image that Hanae-san throws several balls and gets them straight into the strike zone. He is capable of ever changing and also sensible. He is a type completely different from myself. “That’s exactly why I want to try this!” is the feeling I had.

Hanae-san: Tasuku-kun is younger than me, but the truth is that he is my Senpai. He had his voice actor debut first.

Hatanaka-san: Please give me a break! Hanae-san, I don’t want you telling me that!!

——How are the recordings going? It seems the number of male cast members is big.

Hanae-san: It is mostly men. There is a feeling of club activities to it. If I had to say it, our Senpai, Toyonaga (Toshiyuki)-san goes around giving retorts. He chats a lot.

◇ Doing basket out of wanting to be popular.

——Please tell us about memories of your middle school days.

Hanae-san: I was energetic in my middle school years, so while I was in club activities, I would also play with friends. When I became vice-president, I put all my effort into club activities, like, “I’ll do even better!”.

Hatanaka-san: I wanted to be popular. That’s why I was in the basket club. But, I didn’t become popular… I was always on the bench, but I spent fun three years there. At first, I started out club activities with lighthearted feelings, but it was strict and the seniors were scary, so it turned into a valuable experience.

——Are your club activity experiences still alive?

Hanae-san: They are. I also know the happiness of winning and the hardships of club practice. It makes me feel how precious those three years were in my student days all over again.

Hatanaka-san: There are scenes in “Hoshiai no Sora” where the club mates run around the court and clash, but since I used to take part in club activities, I really understand those feelings of theirs.

——Lastly, please tell us what to pay attention to in the series.

Hanae-san: It portrays how the club members live according to their home environments in a sensible way.

Hatanaka-san: Each of the other club members is also burdened with something. Lots of things happen as they gather up and become one. The moments when the pieces are lined together are depicted very dramatically. There are also scenes that make people reflect upon when they watch them. And many scenes were the characters are helped out. Anyhow, we want everyone to watch it.

[tisthenightofthewitch]

How Ghost became the face of the new generation of heavy metal

Pressure. Controversy. An army of haters. It seems like nothing can throw Ghost off-course. How Ghost's mastermind Tobias Forge took on the world… and won

Paris, tell me… did that make your asses wobble?” It sure as hell isn’t “Scream for me, Hammersmith!”  but somehow, inexplicably, this flirty, moustached, makeup-splattered dandy wiggling about in a tux and leather gloves has 9,000 people in the palm of his hand like he’s Bruce Dickinson in ’86. Hammer is at hallmark gig venue Le Zenith in France’s capital city, witnessing Ghost deliver their latest sermon.

The City Of Love might be frozen solid on this chilly February evening, but the unstoppable Swedes are heating things up in style – fire, steam cannons, confetti, a dazzling light show and enough costume changes to make Lady Gaga dizzy are just some of the ingredients reaffirming their status as one of metal’s premier attractions in 2019.

It all makes a two-hour set fly by in no time, guided masterfully by that  aforementioned, ’tache-donning Daddy. Cardinal Copia, Ghost’s Master Of Ceremonies, raised a few confused eyebrows when he was unveiled this time last year, breaking an eight-year streak of Papa Emerituses who’d fronted Ghost since its inception. But he’s since become the beating heart of a band that have continued to evolve, grow and adapt beyond all expectations.

He’s also a world away from the blue-eyed, slick-black-haired, quiet and thoughtful man we spent time with two hours earlier, dressed in jeans and a hoodie, decidedly sans-moustache and doing much less wiggling.

When Hammer last spoke to Tobias Forge, he’d recently (some may say forcefully) been outed as Ghost’s resident mastermind – its very own Wizard Of Oz, working behind the scenes and behind the mask to help orchestrate one of the most unlikely success stories of recent times.

We are creating a dynasty.

Soon after our last conversation, Ghost dropped their latest album, Prequelle – an instant classic stacked with playful menace and 80s-tinged pop-rock bangers – and have pretty much been on the road ever since.

“Hey, if you wanna rock, you gotta rock,” shrugs Tobias of his relentless schedule. “It takes a lot of effort, a lot of cogwheels spinning and turning, to make all this work.” He’s not kidding.

A weary roadie will later inform us that it takes almost four hours to pack up Ghost’s monstrous set each night – a towering, multi-platformed, chapel-esque set-up that recalls the kind of backdrops Maiden have made home for decades. “But, once you’ve got that whole machine rolling, you don’t wanna stop,” Tobias adds. “At some point, we will have to wind down a bit, but we’re not there yet.

If you wanna be comparative, look at all the big bands; even though they made it in a different time, statistically it takes five records, about 10 years, to go from nothing to something to something great.”

And that, right there, sums up Tobias Forge. The reason Ghost have been such a triumph isn’t because of great songs, a good live show and a savvy gimmick – metal history is littered with bands that never made it despite boasting all those things.

The difference is that Tobias is the man with the plan. He may not be the tortured artiste or swaggering hellraiser that rock’n’roll loves to stick on a pedestal, but he’s a leader: a brand ambassador with a calculating mind and a shrewd business acumen who knows exactly what needs to be done to immortalise Ghost’s legacy.

He’s playing the game, and he’s winning. And if you look hard enough, the seeds for it all were being sown right at the very start.

“You can find all the details in my record collection,” he says with a knowing smirk – and he’s not wrong. Before Cardinal Copia, there were Papa Emeritus I, II and III – a line of frontmen that not only enabled Ghost to set up a deep-running narrative, but change up the formula and the image for every album cycle. Sound familiar? It should – it’s what rock’n’roll superstars have been doing for decades.

"I’ve always been a big fan of Kiss,” he continues. “Most Kiss fans can tell the era [of the band] by the photo, what they’re wearing. You can say, ‘That is ’75, that is ’76, it’s in the spring, it’s in the fall, it’s Rock And Roll Over, it’s Destroyer.’ So I figured that in order for this band to age, we need to create dynasties.

"And that way, there’ll also be nostalgia. Because I come from a heavy metal background, I know how important nostalgia is, and the attention span nowadays is so short, so you need to create it quickly. You need people to be able to say, ‘I was there when this part happened.’ That’s why it was always Papa Emeritus I, right from the start.”

It’s a meticulous level of forward-thinking that has come up trumps, but amazingly, you’d have been hard-pushed to find anyone who’d have backed Tobias to carve such a path 10 years ago.

Before 2010, it was with respected Swedish death metallers Repugnant that the Linköping native had had his most ‘success’, his love of rock’s theatrical side flirted with via a splash of corpsepaint and a drop of fake blood here and there.

A spate of EPs and splits and one well-received album, 2006’s Epitome Of Darkness, ensured a small part in heavy metal folklore was guaranteed, but it was what happened next that changed everything.

Channelling his love of catchy NWOBHM mainstays like Angel Witch and Demon, Tobias wrote what would become Stand By Him – an irrepressible schlock-rock anthem a world away from the guttural noise of Epitome…

He called up former Repugnant bandmate Gustaf Lindström to help record it, and more songs quickly followed in the same, earwormy vein – “I’ve always liked the NWOBHM bands that had melody and pop sensibility,” he says today.

But there was still something missing. The songs Tobias was now writing were following a formula that had been laid down since the 70s. It needed something different. Something fun. Something… metal.

Deciding that this new project should carry an image that’d bring it a world away from its influences – a band that, in Tobias’s words, should “sound like Angel Witch but look like Death SS,” he began doodling some ideas. One scribble stuck – the image of a Pope-like character, plastered in ghoulish corpsepaint. Papa Emeritus was born.

I was 29 years old. I wasn't going to get another chance at this.

“And as soon as it was confirmed that he’s gonna be a Pope… well, when a Pope dies, you have a new one!” adds Tobias with a laugh. Soon after Papa I came the idea for the Nameless Ghouls – masked, anonymous backing musicians that’d add to the band’s hokey mystique.

By 2009, the project had an image, some songs and a name: Ghost. But it’d be a little while before things started to move forwards, and Tobias’s grand plan would take shape.

Between 2008 and 2009, there were maybe 20 people who knew about Ghost,” says Tobias, who ended up fronting the band through default after unsuccessfully offering the gig to a variety of names from around the metal scene.

“The guys in In Solitude, the guys in Tribulation, the guys in Watain… they were the only people who knew about it! But I knew at that point that it was gonna have the ability to turn heads, because it made everyone [excited].

"Repugnant were popular, but nothing I had ever done had had such an immediate impact on people. They were all like, ‘Ghost! I wanna hear more!’ I knew that there was gonna be some sort of buzz.”

A “buzz” is an understatement. When Ghost’s first songs were finally made public – on MySpace, no less – things began to move very, very quickly. Metal messageboards were set ablaze with excitement and offers came flooding in.

“I was quickly in touch with Will from Rise Above,” notes Tobias now, and he would eventually accept a deal with Lee Dorrian’s much-respected label. An album, Opus Eponymous, was recorded, and the metal underground waited with baited breath for its new favourite band to deliver on the hype. And yet, even at this stage, Tobias wasn’t totally certain just how far things would go.

“Originally, I thought that Ghost was gonna become more like a theatre/installation sort of band, like Sunn O))),” he reveals. “We would play Roadburn, arthouse concerts, five dates at the London Scala, that sort of thing.”

So a kind of ‘event’ band. You’d show up to play special shows and residencies.

“Exactly,” he confirms. “I never thought we would be the band that would play metal festivals, play in daylight, play with other bands.”

But then more offers started steaming in. Suddenly Ghost – with not so much as a gig to their name – were being asked to go on tours, play festivals and do interviews. For Tobias, there was a straight decision to be made: keep this project as a ‘cult attraction’, stay within the underground and become everyone’s favourite ‘Oh, you wouldn’t have heard of them’ reference point, or take a leap into the unknown and reach for greatness.

For a man that had spent years keeping a lid on his grand ambitions, now was the time to sink or swim. And, really, there was only ever going to be one option.

“I wasn’t gonna get another chance,” he states flatly. “I was already 29 years old at the time, so it was like, ‘This is the train and it’s leaving now.’ You can choose to stay, and sit there and fucking wonder all your life, or you can get on.”

Tobias got on the train, and it hasn’t stopped rolling. Opus Eponymous was released on October 18, 2010, and within three years intimate club shows became packed-out academy shows in front of 5,000 people, and soon after that the band could be seen supporting everyone from Metallica to Foo Fighters to Iron Maiden.

They won a Grammy for Cirice (and have been nominated for two more); they’ve been championed by everyone from James Hetfield to Phil Anselmo; their merch has become obscenely big business, t-shirts selling out in no time at gigs (including the show Hammer attends tonight) and the Ghost IP being plastered across everything from baubles to butt plugs to custom plague masks.

Tobias has manoeuvred that quick sketch of a spooky lad in a Pope hat into a machine Gene Simmons would be proud of, all underpinned by a storyline that has fans salivating as they wait for the next chapter to be revealed.

And if there was any doubt that this is still very much Tobias’s baby, you need only look at the casualty list littered with names that have crossed him. There are the disgruntled ex-bandmates who attempted to bring a lawsuit against Tobias in 2017 after claiming they were denied their rightful share of the Ghost pot.

The lawsuit was thrown out in October last year, his former colleagues ordered to pay Tobias’s legal costs (around $145,000, if you’re counting). There was also the Sister Imperator incident, where the elderly Ghost matriarch and star of their ongoing vignette series had to be swiftly recast after a mysterious falling out.

“All of a sudden, you’ve an actress who decides to start making fucking trouble and makes herself unemployable,” Tobias says. “Well, then you have to do what they do in any soap opera… a car accident.” That’s not allegorical, by the way.

Tobias literally had a new vignette made revealing that the Sister was in a car wreck and needed reconstructive surgery. The new actress was brought in so smoothly that many Ghost fans assumed it was the same person with a different haircut. How’s that for efficient?

“That’s how you solve things,” the frontman shrugs. “But that was not planned at first, because we’d been working with the same actress for three years, and then all of a sudden, things fell apart. But, you have to roll with the punch, you have to bite your finger, and come up with another plan… car accident. Boom.”

That Tobias won’t be moved on what actually happened between he and the original actress is understandable – after all, this is a man that spent years holding his cards close to his chest.

That this all managed to play out under the noses of one of modern metal’s most fanatical fanbases, however, is pretty damn impressive. Basically: don’t cross the boss.

While Tobias’s masterplan may seem iron-clad, he will at least admit that there is room for fine-tweaking along the way. He recently revealed that Cardinal Copia’s character could stick around for another five years and multiple albums – a first for Ghost, who have thus far changed up their protagonist for every record.

“That’s just because of the potential of him being a ‘Pope’ or a Papa Emeritus IV,” he explains, before adding: “If he becomes a Papa Emeritus.”

So there could be multiple endings planned for Cardi C?

“Absolutely. All of this is an organic movement, and that is one of the biggest paradoxes for me, as a control freak. To be part of this living world, I can’t control everything. I can control a lot, and I can influence a lot, but I can’t control it [all]. And coming to terms with those things and accepting that is a big struggle for me.”

He’ll also admit that being the mastermind behind a machine as big and ever-evolving as Ghost has had a serious impact on his personal life. Being a part of a successful band is one thing, but having that success rest almost entirely on your shoulders is something altogether different.

“It’s very hard to do this without any casualties,” he muses. “It takes a toll on your surroundings, your crew, your parents, your children… I have two kids, 10 years old. They were toddlers when this whole thing started. My family’s had to endure a lot for this to happen.”

He’s also had to face up to the reality that being in a big rock band means you’re going to attract the attention of

a fair few haters – and Ghost have an army of them. Check out Hammer’s Facebook page to see the dizzying levels of vitriol that a post about Ghost will attract. Recurring issues seem to be accusations of selling out, anger at Tobias’s treatment of his former bandmates and, most commonly, whether Ghost belong in our world at all (and to be fair, you’d be hard-pushed to describe Prequelle as a true heavy metal record by any standards).

“I’ve noticed it,” says Tobias. “I noticed it in the beginning. I think that it’s the same old discussion. ‘Is Ghost a metal band?’ ‘Are we a clone of Mercyful Fate?’ It’s the same old thing. But now these people are saying the new record is not as good because it’s not as much of a clone of Mercyful Fate! OK…”

Why do you think Ghost wind people up so much?

“Because we are ever-present, all the time. We are being shoved into people’s faces, and we’re rubbing it in. They wouldn’t talk about us had we not been successful. Does it worry me? Not really. If they’re talking shit about me, that’s one thing,  especially if it’s someone that I know. That can hurt me deeply. When you’re at the beginning of your career, especially nowadays, you spend a lot of time surveying what’s going on, because you need to feed off anything that’s happening to the band. So I noticed there was a lot of ‘controversy’, a lot of mixed opinions. It’s surprising they don’t understand that the more they talk about us, the more traffic there is about our band. More than we would have had had they not spoken!”

Once again, it’s there: the unnerving feeling that Tobias is metal’s modern-day puppet master, pulling the strings above a performance that we all continue to play our parts in. Whether it’s the media, his fans, his critics or the few who have attempted to foil him, everything only ever seems to play into his hands, and the Ghost train rolls on.

“A few months ago, based on metadata alone, a website made a list

of the biggest bands in metal,” Tobias reveals as a PR informs us our time together is up. “We were number four! Right up there. And that’s thanks to these people that keep on fucking hating. So I have nothing but great feelings for them.”

He makes to leave before adding: “That’s how all these bands made their careers. You think Lars would shy away every time people would talk shit about Metallica? Fuck. That.”

Hated, adored but never ignored. This summer, Ghost will play in front of stadium crowds with Metallica once again – something Tobias calls a “PR exercise” – before more global dates and, eventually, a new album that’ll reveal the next chapter of his grand plan. You can imagine that people will have plenty to say about it. And you can imagine that Tobias Forge is going to relish every second.

ALL RIGHTS OWNED BY METAL HAMMER

[dobriks-hoeshit]

A Team Effort

Request: Hi! I was wondering if you could please do a piece about David where him and the reader tell all their friends that the reader is pregnant? Thanks so much! 😊

A/n: This is inspired by a YouTuber Casey Holmes! She recently shared she was pregnant in a super cute video and I cried and loved it so that’s where the inspiration is coming for this. She has a vlog channel and a makeup channel, so whatever floats your boat you should check her out! Also this is relatively long, so you’re welcome?

——

“Alright guys, welcome back to this special edition vlog! It is the 28th of October, and I have a gut feeling right now.” You rubbed the side of your face, feeling emotional in every way possible.

“I know this is a bit TMI but I realized this morning I missed my period, which hasn’t been irregular since I was about 18, and I’ve gained a bit of weight. I noticed I was gaining weight but I didn’t think anything of it because we’re going into winter and I’d like to hibernate anyways.” Letting out a quick sigh you continued on talking to the camera. “So today while David is out of the house, we are on a mission. I am going to go to the store and buy a couple pregnancy tests, and then we’ll go from there!” You finished off the clip of the vlog with a big smile and a thumbs up before stopping the video. You plopped down into your bed before letting yourself fall onto your back, sighing loudly. You had to give yourself a minute before you became overwhelmed. You were pregnant. You could feel it in every fiber of your body. You were achy, you missed your period, and you’ve gained weight. You were only 21, and David only 22. With you both being so young and totally unprepared, you didn’t even want to know if what you felt was true. With David at the peak of his YouTube career you didn’t know how he would react. Obviously you hoped he’d be happy, but at the same time you couldn’t expect too much from him not even being able to tell what you were feeling.

As soon as you made it to the store you made a b line for the pregnancy tests. How ironic that they put them so close to the condoms. You must have been standing there looking through the different brands of pregnancy tests for a solid 20 minutes before you made your decision and grabbed about 5 of them. You didn’t even want to face a cashier, opting for self checkout to save yourself from mild embarrassment.

When you finally got to your house you immediately went to the bathroom, throwing your keys haphazardly towards a table. Breaking the vlog camera back out after you used all the pregnancy tests, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding before turning on the camera. Propping it up on a shelf in your bathroom you were ready to go.

“So I took as many pregnancy tests as I could pee, and it’s been a couple minutes. I haven’t looked, I’m extremely nervous.” You paused letting out another breath looking down before making eye contact with the camera, “Okay guys, lets do this.” You let a soft smile grace your lips.

Closing your eyes was the only way you could get yourself to pick up the tests. You couldn’t face the truth quite yet, and you didn’t know if you even wanted to look. Of course, you knew you had to whether you liked it or not, if you were pregnant you can’t just ignore the issue until it goes away. Kids and pregnancy are a commitment you weren’t even going for. At least not at this exact moment in your life. Realizing you were in thought for far too long you opened your eyes with the pregnancy tests in hand. Tears sprung to your eyes, ‘ohmygod’ tumbling from your lips multiples times. You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbles it’s way out. Pregnant. You were pregnant.

“Well it looks like we have to start budgeting for baby Dobrik.” You shrugged your shoulders, laughing through the tears that escaped your eyes. “Now we have to tell David” Bringing your face closer to the camera you sent it a wink before turning it off again.

Having actually seen the results, you couldn’t help but let you heart flutter at the thought of a kid. Your own baby. With your hair and David’s big puppy dog brown eyes. Even if you couldn’t stop the rapid tears that fell down your cheeks, you were still dare you say it, happy. That’s it, you were happy. Ecstatic even, because you felt beyond lucky that if you were going to go through something as tough as a young pregnancy it would be with David. He had to understand, right? So you fabricated a plan to surprise him.

—

“Alrighty, so I’ve got this bag here with one of my pregnancy tests and a pair of cute little baby shoes. I think what I’m going to do is set up my camera, wait for David to get home and then I’ll tell him I picked up some surprise matching Halloween costumes. He’ll open it and then bam! A shistar surprise. He should be here any minute, I think I’m going to throw up out of nervousness but here we go!” You shot your camera a quick thumbs up before sitting on the couch and turning the tv on to stage your casualness. David had texted you a bit ago saying he was on his way back from filming with friends, so you made sure to be ready at any moment.

“Helloooo!” A tired voice rang through the house, which you immediately recognized to be David. Instantly your palms started to sweat, your nerves kicking in once again. You shot a quick glance to the camera before replying to your boyfriend.

“In here!” You yelled back, hoping your voice sounded as calm to him as it did to you.

“Hey baby how was your day?” He plopped down on the couch next to you, lazily throwing his head into your lap as he always did after a long day. Out of instinct your hands ran through his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp causing him to let out a sigh of relief.

“Pretty good,” you started, “I got us matching costumes for that Halloween party, they’re in the bag if you wanna look at it.” You nervously bit your lip, nearly drawing blood. You were trying so hard not to let your voice waver. Tears were ridiculously close to surfacing in your eyes as you awaited his response.

“Ooo!” He responded with a child like giddiness, drawing a giggle from you. You watching as he immediately tore into the bag, confusion crossing his face as he pulled out the baby shoes. “Uh babe, these are cute and all but I don’t think they’re going to fit me.”

“Keep going.” Your response was short, and you could almost hear a tinge of happiness in your voice if you weren’t mistaken. You were actually beginning to feel excited. David did as you said, pulling out a small baggie with the dreaded pregnancy tests. Instantly you sucked in a breath, holding it as you watched the wheels turn in his head.

“Wha-“ He immediately turned to you, eyes wide as he they searched yours. “You’re pregnant?” David’s voice comes out in a higher octave and you’re not quite sure what that means for you.

“I’m pregnant.” You confirm. Blinking tears away as they came. David flung himself toward you, tackling you into the couch behind you before peppering your face with sloppy kisses. Letting out a string of laughs the nerves started to bubble away as overwhelming happiness overtook you. He was happy. He was happy that you were carrying his little baby in you. It was a dream come true. A very scary brutal reality dream, but a dream nonetheless! “You’re not mad?” You ask, lightly pushing him to sit back up.

“Mad? Y/n this is amazing! Sure this wasn’t expected, definitely not expected, but you’re the love of my life. I’m terrified but I think the happiness overtakes that. We’re having a baby! Holy shit!” He grabs you cheeks before kissing you repeatedly. Over and over again until you finally remember the camera you had set up.

“Well I’m glad this is the reaction I got, otherwise I would have to scrap this whole video.” You bite your lip to contain your smile as you pull away.

“You’re recording this?” He asks looking for the camera, “that’s my girl.”

The two of you had spent a lot of time thinking. About two months of thinking to be exact. About many things involving baby Dobrik. You were keeping the baby, obviously, you two loved each other enough to make it work. Your next predicament was telling all of your friends and family. You had decided to break the news at all your Christmas parties. Figuring it’d be the easiest with all the gift giving going around, you would turn your announcement into just that. A gift. Every single year your friends played a game called white elephant. It was a perfect idea to the two of you. Having someone open a “present” that will be a copy of an ultrasound you had gotten done, a pair of baby shoes and a cute little clickbait onesie David had gotten made specially for this moment.

The party was in full swing. Friends gathering for the usual holiday party with tons of food music and all around festivities. You were nervous to say the least, having no idea how your friends would react. Not letting your nerves show was the most difficult part of the night, but you were doing a damn good job. Every now and then David would send you a look across the room, and he was excited. He had been talking about this moment for weeks. His friends meant the world to him, not as much as you but pretty close.

“Everyone gather around for white elephant!” Someone yelled through the house.

David was instantly by your said, his hand resting on the small of your back as he leaned over to kiss your head. He could barely contain his smile causing you to also grin. This was it. David pulled out “his”, meaning your, vlog camera casually as he started to record. He was always recording, so this didn’t raise any questions with your friends. You wanted your friends reaction in the video you were in the process of making.

The game was in full swing, going on for about 20 minutes before someone finally picked up yours and David’s gift. Immediately your hand found his hand without the camera, squeezing it tightly as your palms became to sweat. David whispered something into your ear but you couldn’t hear him. You were so nervous the only thing you could focus on was the box in Jason’s hands. He grinned wildly as he read it was from you and David, instantly open the box to see the contents. The grin fell from his face as Trish gasped beside him. Everyone looked at each other obviously confused, while David grinned proudly you were biting you lip out of nerves.

“No.” Jason started looked between the two of you. “No, you’re kidding.”

“Nope.” David responded as he rubbed his thumb along the back of your hand before looking at you.

“Oh my god man!” Jason jumped up causing David to, instantly attacking your boyfriend with a hug. You too stood up as Trish grabbed the open box from where Jason had set it down, proceeding to show the whole group. Audible gasps and cries of joy coming from your friends as they saw the big words ‘Baby Dobrik’ written in the box caused you to let out a laugh as tears of joy sprung to your eyes. Everyone jumping up and hugging eachother as Zane’s iconic ‘oh my god’ rung out. The first people to hug you were Natalie and Corinna. All three of you wrapped in each others arms and jumping with joy, Corinna eventually moving on to talk to David.

“I can’t breathe.” Natalie joked, pulling a funny face causing you to laugh.

“Me too!” You agreed before Natalie brought you into another hug before moving to David.

The rest of the night was filled with hugs and congratulations from everyone. Not a single person in the room disappointed or worried for the two of you. You had finished your game of white elephant, everyone settling down and eventually leaving yours and David’s house. You both wished the last person a good night before collapsing on the couch together.

“Well they took it well.” You breathed out, swinging your legs up onto David’s lap as you did so.

“Yeah they did. I’m so proud of you.” David spoke in admiration as he rubbed your legs in front of him.

“Hey now, this baby was a team effort.” You winked as you leaned over to give him a tired kiss.

He let out a chuckle before grabbing your hand and bringing it up to his mouth to lay soft kisses on your fingers. A permanent grin sat on both of your faces as you reflected back on the night. Your train of thought was interrupted as you realized you needed to close out your video. The video that had taken almost two months to complete. You shot up off the couch, searching for your camera as David questioned what you were doing. When you found your camera you let out an ‘aha’ before sitting back on the couch next to your boyfriend. You hit the record button with a large smile on your face.

“There we go! This is where this video ends guys. I am officially 8 weeks and 1 day pregnant, which is about two months and I can’t wait to bring you guys on the rest of my 7 month journey. So stay tuned, we love you guys, and don’t forget to like and subscribe!” You joked at the end before looking at David who was already looking at you. He leaned over to give you a sweet kiss before bringing his hand up to cover the camera as he grinning at you, officially ending your favorite video you’ve ever made.

[rinnysega]

Okay so your wedding is coming up and I'm a newer follower. Will you tell us your and your future wife's love story? How did you meet? When did you realize that it was love?

Hello new friend! Welcome to my blog!

And oooh ok! This will get kind of long so I’ll put it under a read more.

@ilonacho and I met in late November/early December of 2015. My friend @prismatoons and I were really into the Disney show Penn Zero: Part time Hero (and still are tbh. idc if it’s ended, it’s still prominent in our lives and will be forever) and one day when I was on vacation, I got a message from her to check out some new artwork that showed up in the tag. The fandom was incredibly small, so news of anything new, especially art, was an immediate “STOP THE PRESSES” kind of moment. 

If you check out her art tag you’ll see how incredible she is, and I was floored by her style and how she drew the characters. So, like the friendly idiot I am, I really wanted to introduce myself, but I was incredibly shy. But, since there were only a handful of people to talk to about PZ, I had to suck it up and approach her if I wanted a new fandom friend, so I stumbled my way into her ask box to let her know that I loved her artwork, and since she was new to the fandom, I’d love to introduce her to people and be a friend if she was looking to talk about the show with anybody. I think I scared her cause I feel I was way too forward in being like “HELLO, WANNA BE FRIENDS?” but like I said, I was a shy. I thought she was super cool and it’s like, who am I to just barge in here and say hello? Lol but anyway…

That leads me to the day things sort of changed I guess? We’d talked through the askbox only a couple of times, and then one day I noticed she had followed me. I was so excited because again, I thought she was the coolest person in the world, and here she is, following me back when she states on her own blog that she doesn’t follow that many people in order to keep her dashboard short and clean, and I was just like “mOM HOLY FUCK”

I told her I was so happy about it and her immediate response was “uhhhhh that was an accident, I dropped my phone on my face and it followed u by mistake” and when I was like “hnnnnnn u can unfollow me if u want” she said it was cool and would keep it the way it is cause I think she felt bad about it. But either way, ever since that incident we started talking more and more and we started hanging out off tumblr like on streams and stuff, and it got to a point by New Years 2016 I had developed a mondo crush. 

Mutual friends started asking us both questions the more we started hanging out and how we interacted together, and we both found out through the grapevine that the other had a crush on us. Just before Valentines Day 2016 we talked about it with each other, but we were unsure of actually dating. We’d just met like two months prior, and even though we were both over 18, we still had a pretty big age gap of 7 years which made me uncomfortable as the older one. Not to mention that long distance between the states and Denmark was a nightmare. We were currently 6 hours apart and I was about to move in a month to California where we’d be 9 hours apart. Didn’t really seem like a good choice, so we decided to stay friends.

In July of that year, I’d settled well in LA, and a co-worker of mine asked me on a date. I said no because at the time I realized that the only person I wanted to be with was Ilo, so I was kind of turned off with wanting to date other people. Another coworker and I talked about it and she recommended that if I wasn’t going to date anyone because I couldn’t get Ilo off my mind, I should just try out the long distance. Ilo and I for months had back and forth conversations about dating where we talked about our fears and wants in relationships, what we were both looking for, what we were both scared of, what we would do if it worked out or didn’t work out, etc, so when I brought this to her attention, she felt she was ready to give it a try, and by then I was ready to try to. So we officially got together on July 25th 2016. 

She first came to visit me here in the states for Valentine’s Day 2017 for about a week. I was very nervous because it was our first time seeing each other in person and I was scared about a lot of things as you could imagine. But when she landed, and I picked her up from the airport, everything felt so…right? I was so awestruck with my crush on her that I missed our exit driving back from LAX and had to take the long way home lol. By the time we got to my apartment, everything felt natural. Neither of us were worried or uncomfortable, and it was almost as if we’d known each other forever.

We went on our first date the day after she got in. It was February 12, 2017 and we went to Universal Studios Hollywood. From there, we had a wonderful week of going to Disneyland and going out to dinner on Valentines Day, and we saw movies together, and painted pottery. It was fantastic and it was so sad to see her leave. She was able to come back for two weeks in the summer to see the Penn Zero finale with me, and then I went to spend two weeks with her and her family in Denmark for Christmas that year. During the time apart and how heart breaking it was to see the other go, I think that’s when I realized it was a lifelong love and neither of us wanted to go without the other. 

We talked a lot about her immigrating to the United States to live with me fulltime since currently she can’t stay in the country anymore than 90 days, so we did a lot of research about how to go about it. We came to the decision together that the best option for us would be to get married in Denmark in Fall of 2018 and have her immigrate to the US as my wife. 

We hadn’t lived together more than 2 weeks at a time, so she came to stay with me between February thru April of this year to see if we could live together for a long period of time. And let me tell you, it was the best 3 months of my life. We’d got into a chore routine, a life routine really, and being able to wake up to her every morning was the best way to start the day (even that one time when she elbowed me in the face). No matter how early it was, 4am or 5am, she’d get out of bed and walk me to the front door as I left for work to kiss me goodbye and make sure I remembered my phone, keys, wallet, etc, even when she was half asleep and groggy. She always walked me to the door no matter what. During that time we also went home to Florida so I could introduce her to my parents, and they loved her just like her parents loved me. 

My mom and I were lying in her bed one morning while Ilona was still sleeping in the guest room, and she told me she thought Ilona was perfect for me. We had a heart to heart where we talked about a lot of personal stuff, but she said more than anything, she and my father wanted me to be happy and to find someone who would love me the way they did, and she said “I see how she takes care of you. It’s the little things she does, like goes behind you to make sure you’re okay, those little things show me and your Dad that she really loves you and we’re so happy for the two of you” like I cried so much. And she and my dad have a 6 year age gap between them, so she as the older one told me not to worry too much about what other people think. As long as we communicate and have a balanced relationship, things would be okay, and they are. 

So right now here we are: we’re getting ready for our TMNT wedding coming up soon where my dad and I will fly to Denmark for a week. My mom would go too but she can’t travel very well so that’s why we’re going to have a second wedding here for my friends and family in 2020. At that point at that ceremony I’ll take her last name and we’ll officially start our family. 

So that’s where our love story is right now! Full of happy tears and cartoon turtles lol She’s also going to come back to the states between mid-October and early January so we can spend all the holidays together. Hopefully the next time she returns will be for good!

And for the record: i still have a mondo crush on her.

[fanders-fic-awards]

Of Cookies, Owl City, and Presents (Summer Fic Comp 18)

Summary: it’s a fluffy lil scene at 3 am. There’s Owl City, cookies, and flour. Lots of flour. No, Owl City did not pay me to write this. I just really like Owl City. THEN I realized that I didn’t have enough words, so we now have more than that.

Warnings: none

Word count: 1391

Ballot

When Logan entered the kitchen of his apartment, sleepy-eyed and stumbling a little, he expected it to be empty. The lights would be off, the counters empty of food, his boyfriend still sleeping. After all, it was 3:14 am. Logan just wanted a gosh darn glass of ice cold water.

He was not expecting to see a mess of flour covering every possible surface—as well as some of the impossible ones—with Patton standing in the middle of all the chaos, confused and blinking.

Not nearly as confused as Logan, however.

“What are you doing, destroying the kitchen this early in the morning?” Logan asked, making his partner jump, turning to face him. A grin formed on Patton’s face, filled with joy and a little something else that made Logan feel apprehensive.

“Can you help me?” Patton pleaded. “It’s Virgil’s birthday tomorrow, or, well, today, actually, and I wanted to make cookies!”

Logan crossed the room to kiss his boyfriend. “You’re so lucky I love you.”

“Aww, that’s so sweet, Lo!” Patton gazed into his eyes softly. “You know who I love?”

“Who?”

“Virgil.”

“I’m breaking up with you,” Logan deadpanned. Roman would have been proud of the dramaticness. The sarcasm. “Betrayed, by my own boyfriend.”

Patton gasped. “Nooooooo honeybee I’m sorryyyy!” He made the special Patton Puppy Dog Eyes of Doom, as coined by Roman (“those things can kill, Logan! He has too much power!”).

“Fine, you’re re-boyfriended.”

“YAY!” Patton giggled, falling into his arms, and everything was worth it.

“Now,” said Logan when they finally separated, “shall we begin?”

And that’s how Logan found himself making chocolate chip cinnamon cookies (because Virgil had the biggest sweet tooth since Patton) for one of his best friends with his boyfriend at 3 am on a random Tuesday morning.

Owl City was playing from Patton’s phone, and said boy was singing along to Saltwater Room. Logan was content to watch his boyfriend fondly as he cracked eggs and opened a package of chocolate chips.

“I opened my eyes, last night, and saw you in the low light walking down by the bay, on the shore, staring up at the stars that aren’t there anymore,” Patton sang softly, stirring together the cookie dough. Logan suddenly saw the other boy’s head tilt, and his grin turned mischievous.

“What–” he started, but Patton had already taken his hands and pulled him into a dance.

“C’mon, Lo!” Patton giggled and twirled him. “Dance with me!”

If Logan had wanted to protest, he couldn’t have. Patton had him now. There was no escape from the jaws of love and hugs and dances.

Truly a terrifying fate indeed.

Logan loved it.

He obliged, swaying to the music. He twirled Patton, and he squealed and laughed in delight. Patton was full of energy, shooting around like an out-of-control rocket ship, and Logan was just along for the ride. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

The song changed to When Can I See You Again, and the dancing turned more energetic, alive.

“Don’t close your eyes cause your future’s ready to shine, it’s just a matter of time until we learn how to fly!” they sang together. Normally Logan was cautious about singing around others, but this was Patton. He’d seen him at worse, and better, times. Besides, it was 3 am. Who was going to judge him?

Twirling, shrieking, laughing joy. They danced around the kitchen, uncaring of the ingredients knocked off the counter in the process. Logan gazed into Patton’s eyes, which were in the position one’s eyes make when smiling. Was there a word for that? There should be. He vaguely remembered making a mental note to look up if there was. Words could not have described the happiness that filled the room that early morning Tuesday. It was only Logan and Patton and cookies and Owl City.

“Welcome to the rhythm of the ni-ight, there’s something in the air you can’t deny-y-yy!”

Twirl. Dip. Giggles. A forehead kiss. Small details that communicated complete and total love.

“It’s been fun but now I’ve got to go Life is way too short to take it slow But before I go and hit the road I gotta know, ‘til then, When can we do this again?”

They carried on, baking long forgotten. All Logan was aware of was his boyfriend’s laughter, his grin, his flushed cheeks. He pulled him into his arms, pressing a soft kiss to the tip of his nose and then his lips.

Patton laughed softly. “Lo!”

His soft voice was adorable, and Logan thought he might melt.

The song carried on into another, but they didn’t pay attention. If it had turned into a live broadcast of their lives they would have kept dancing the same way, so that’s what they did. Logan only noticed when something slightly unfamiliar came on.

“Is this… Is this Dear Evan Hansen? But Owl City?”

Patton looked sheepish. “Roman added it to my phone, and the cover of Waving through a Window is too beautiful!”

“Like you.”

“Aww, you sap!”

They only barely managed to get the cookies out of the oven on time to prevent a kitchen fire. That would not have been a responsible thing to do. It would have been very sad, actually.

———

The next day, Virgil and Roman let themselves into the apartment to find Logan and Patton passed out on the ground, Silhouette by Owl City playing on repeat from a low-battery phone, a sheet of cookies on the cooling rack, and the entire room covered in flour.

“Do I want to know what just happened?” Virgil said to the almost-silent room.

On the floor, the pair stirred. They stood up slowly, rubbing sleep from their eyes.

“Happy birthday, Virgil!” Patton exclaimed, looking at Roman.

“Your glasses are over there…” the latter said, wondering how Patton could have confused them. Then again, his vision was terrible. Like, Percy-Jackson-movie terrible. Blind as anyone who thought The Last Jedi was worth watching.

Virgil had not been expecting this to be how his birthday started, but he wasn’t complaining.

The four went in the other room, Patton bringing the cookies, Logan bearing gifts.

Roman grabbed a cookie and munched on it. “So,” he said between bites. “Wanna open your presents, babe? Not that my very presence isn’t a gift, but I’m curious now.”

Logan rolled his eyes, which really seemed Virgil’s job. Rude.

“Uhh, sure?” Virgil reached for his card and opened it. It was handmade (by Patton, obviously—you could tell instantly), and had a little drawing of the four of them and a heart. It was exceedingly, disgustingly, absolutely adorable.

Virgil loved it.

“Aww, thanks Pat.” Patton beamed.

When Virgil opened the card, a piece of paper fell out. He went to pick it up, and his eyes widened.

“No effing way…”

“Language, kiddo!”

Virgil waved around the paper. “Is this—I—what?!”

“Tickets to see the Night Vale live show? Yes. Yes it is.” Logan adjusted his glasses. “It occurs in October, so it’s a short while away, but consider it a birthday present in advance from us.”

Virgil was not one for tackling his friends in hugs. He preferred to hug people safely, without the danger of smacking your head or your friend’s on a magically appearing out of nowhere corner of the bed and having a fountain of blood spout out and having to go to the hospital.

This was a rare exception.

He flung his arms around Patton and Logan in shock and gratitude. Patton hugged back eagerly, while Logan patted him on the back, semi awkwardly.

“Thank you thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome.”

The rest of the present was a gift card for audiobooks, a Dark Owl Records shirt, and a “free hugs” coupon (expires never, unlimited uses, full value always).

Virgil loved his friends.

So much.

“Thank you so, so much for all of this,” he said. “You really didn’t have to—“

“Oh, we wanted to, my small little churro burrito child.” Patton was truly terrifying when complimenting people.

“I… what?”

“Smile and nod, Virge,” Logan said wisely. Virgil decided to obey his advice. Logan knew his boyfriend.

“And now,” declared Roman, “how about a complete play through of Little Big Planet 3? We never did get Swoop last time.”

Well, no one was going to turn that down.

nottodaylogic

[call-me-rei]

Chapter 3: Flashback to Us

***Disclaimer because apparently I didn't mention it when I started this story: This story is based on real events! Just about everything in this book actually happened with PTV and SWS, including the things in this chapter 😉***

September 17, 2011

I scrolled through my mentions amazed that I had so many. It wasn’t unusual that people would tag me or the band in their tweets. What was unusual was the nature of these mentions. Almost every day one of our accounts would be asked to work on music with other artists. Kids wanted us to make music with State Champs, All Time Low, or Mayday Parade. Little did they know we had things already in the works.

One of the weirdest mentions I was seeing had started in mid-June of this year. So many kids were asking for a specific feature with one specific person I’d never heard of before.

@piercetheveil can you please record with @kellinquinn? Omg @piercethevic and @kellinquinn together on a song would be AMAZING!!! Petition for @piercetheveil to have @kellinquinn on their next album. RT to sign

Who the hell was Kellin Quinn?

Almost every day for the last three months I’d been tagged in tweets asking if we’d make a song together. That was super awkward since I had no idea who this kid was, or why everyone was so obsessed with him.

“Bro, are you seeing this?” Mike asked me. “How many times are we gonna be asked to work with this dude?”

I shook my head. “No clue.” I wasn’t too interested in entertaining the tweets when the guys and I were supposed to be working on new music at that moment. We had hit a wall so we decided to take a break, which of course meant we were checking Twitter.

“I don’t know, maybe we should consider it.” We all looked to Jaime with questioning expressions on our faces. “I just mean that we wanna hit the studio soon and we only have a couple songs ready to be tracked. Maybe we could have this one with this guy.”

Jaime had a point. We were working toward a new record, and so far we had more demos than songs that were ready. We were trying to avoid writing songs in the studio but that was proving to be difficult.

“I don’t know…”

“C’mon Vic, we already reached out to Jason. What’s one more feature?” Mike was referring to me and our new label, Fearless Records, reaching out to Jason Butler of letlive. He had agreed to be featured on our new record and was going to send us some things we’d add into the song when we got to the studio.

“We don’t even know this kid. Have any of you listened to him before?” They looked at each other wondering if one of them would prove me wrong. “That’s what I thought.”

“Well, if a bunch of fans are saying it’ll be worth it then maybe it’ll be worth it.” I shot Tony a look to which he put his hands up. “Just give it a chance; that’s all I’m saying.”

I sighed. It was obvious that online peer pressure had gotten to my bandmates and they weren’t going to let this go. “Fine,” I huffed, “I’ll listen to his stuff. But if it sucks then no deal.” They didn’t care. They hi-fived each other at their accomplishment as if the feature was in the bag.

“Did you guys hear what I just said?”

“Yes, but we’re choosing to ignore your negativity.” Tony giggled at Mike’s reply.

“Whatever,” I mumbled, “let’s get back to work.”

***

September 20

I finally had some free time for the first time all week. Granted, it was almost midnight and I was finally settling down. I wanted to pass out more than anything, but my brother had other plans for me.

Have you listened to Kellin yet?

That was the message Mike had sent me just as I was about to start relaxing. I rolled my eyes but responded anyway.

No but I’m going to

He replied quickly: Do it now! I’m tired of waiting for you!

I rolled my eyes again and chose not to respond. Instead, I got up from my position on my couch and went to my Macbook that was resting on my desk. If Mike was texting me so late then this was important to him, and I didn’t want to be on his bad side in the morning because I ignored his request.

Where would I even start with this? I guess with a Google search. I typed the name that had flooded my mentions into the search bar and watched the results pop up. Apparently Kellin was in a band called Sleeping With Sirens, and they had just released a record. That would explain why fans were so invested in them. A new record can bring a band an influx of obsessive fans.

I scrolled down the first page of results to see what I could learn about Kellin. According to Wikipedia he was the singer in the five-piece band. The band had just released their second album, Let’s Cheers to This, in May. Their first record, With Ears to See, and Eyes to Hear, came out in 2010, the same year our second album, Selfish Machines, came out. It seemed like we were on the same timeline.

There wasn’t much else about him besides the fact that many websites said he had a high-pitched voice. I wondered how high it was and if it would sound good with my band’s sound.

I read as much as I could about the guy before I switched over to YouTube. I searched Sleeping With Sirens and was met with so many videos. The first video was for a song called “If You Can’t Hang.”

Might as well, I thought and clicked on the thumbnail.

My ears were immediately met with guitar and drums. I watched as the black screen faded in and showed a water-covered floor. Black shoes walked up to a microphone, then the beat dropped.

Each of the five guys were jamming out to their own performance. It made me want to do the same. This Kellin kid was going crazy in his American flag shirt and black skinny jeans. The introduction to the song calmed down and the camera zoomed in on his face.

Kellin was actually a kid, a literal child! He had such a baby face with his chubby cheeks and black hair falling over his eyes. I couldn’t believe that our fans wanted us to work with a tween! He almost looked too young to be taken seriously.

I decided I shouldn’t judge and focused on his voice as he sang the first verse of the song. He did have a higher voice than most male singers, but it was so smooth and melodic that you moved past it. I studied his face as he sang. The eye contact he made with the camera made me feel like he was singing to me and me alone. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

This video really showcased his stage presence. He was intense when he needed to be and let loose when the song called for it. It was hard to believe that such a young kid had that much talent in that situation.

The bridge of the song surprised me. His voice went up and down the octave like it was nothing. It was impressive as hell, and I needed to hear more. So I went back to the search results when the song ended and found another one called “If I’m James Dean, You’re Audrey Hepburn.”

This song was different from the first one. The music behind the lyrics was much heavier and Kellin’s hair was much longer. His voice was higher in this one too. This video was released before the first one I watched so maybe puberty had finally caught up with him.

Wait, this kid could do unclean vocals? Interesting. His voice had so much range. Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing to do a song with him. The song ended and I was almost convinced, but I needed to hear one more song to be sure I was making the right decision. I went back to the search results and found one more music video. This one was for the title track of their first record.

This video showed a bunch of tour moments, many of them being on stage performances as well as moments with fans. Kellin seemed to do well in all of those situations. On stage he was energetic and passionate, and off stage he was goofy and smiling.

I couldn’t deny that this kid really had my attention. He also had a cute smile, but that was something I wasn’t going to dwell on.

I was convinced that doing a song with Kellin would be a great opportunity, but I couldn’t get over how young he was. He looked like he was barely out of high school. How much experience did this kid have with working with other bands?

I did another search of Kellin and his birthday. “He’s twenty-five?!” I shouted out loud. There was no way that he was only three years younger than me. Well, at least he wasn’t a child. That made this a little bit better.

Seeing that it had gotten later than I would have liked, I turned off my computer and stood from my desk. I made up my mind about Kellin. Feeling good about my decision, I got ready for bed all while figuring out what I’d say to everyone involved.

***

September 22

Hey Kellin, my name’s Vic. I think you’ve seen me mentioned in tweets

I probably could’ve started that message better, but whatever, what mattered was that I sent it. I finally bit the bullet and messaged Kellin. Yesterday I bought Sleeping With Sirens’ two albums so I could really study his voice, and damn, it was amazing. After taking that extra day to be sure that I wanted to work with him, I sent the message in the morning.

There was no doubt in my mind that Pierce The Veil was going to work with Kellin Quinn, so I sent him the message through direct message on Twitter. He replied a few minutes later.

Yeah I know about you. You’re all over my tl lol

So you know that our fans want us to work together? I asked.

Yup! It’s everywhere

I smiled softly. It was good that he had seen all of those fan requests. That made this a little less awkward.

Well I’ve listened to your stuff and I think it’s a good idea. If you’re down we can get together and make a hit!

He confirmed that he was interested. Apparently he had listened to us when the requests started and was excited to have the opportunity to work with our band. That message made me smile.

Ok I’ll talk to you once we have a plan for the song and we’ll get to work!

Sounds good!

***

October 18

I was sitting in a chair with my guitar against my body. Tony and my friends Curtis Peoples and Steve Miller were with me in a cabin in Big Bear. I needed to write for this song with Kellin and I had no idea where to start, so I went up to the cabin to get away. The other guys offered to come up to help.

“I’m just stuck,” I groaned. I wanted this song to be perfect, but I had no idea where to start.

“Well, what are you feeling right now? Whatever it is write it down and work with it.”

I took Curtis’ advice into consideration as I leaned back into my chair. How was I feeling? I was frustrated. I wanted this song with Kellin to be perfect since so many people were expecting it. We hadn’t revealed that we were working together, but I knew that once word got out the hundreds of fans on either side would be expecting something great. I didn’t want to let them down.

I also didn’t want to disappoint Kellin. He seemed so eager to work with me and I didn’t want to give him a bad impression of my song witting. There was too much riding on this one song; I thought I was going to go insane.

I ran my fingers through my hair and gripped it. There was too much weighing on my mind, putting too much pressure on me. I knew it was one song, but it was a song so many people were counting on. That made it even more important.

An idea occurred to me in that moment. I quickly turned to the face the desk I was sitting at and wrote my thoughts down – pressure, expectations, too many thoughts, pushed past breaking point.

“Vic? You good?”

I smiled brightly as I nodded. “I think our song has a theme.”

***

January 10, 2012

“I was thinking something like, ‘push me for the last time,’ or something like that.”

I nodded. “Yeah, that could work.” I leaned over to pick up my guitar. “We also added something to the instrumental. Check it out.” I played a progression that the band was thinking of adding to the beginning of the song.

“Dude, that sounds sick!” I smiled.

Kellin and I were on a FaceTime call working on our song. We’d been having video calls a lot lately. It was easier to bounce ideas on lyrics off of each other when we could see the other’s face and hear their voice.

“Oh dude, did you get my email? I sent it pretty late last night, but you know, when inspiration strikes.”

I chuckled in agreement as I went into my emails. “No, I get it. I’m the same way. Remember, last week I sent you one at two in the morning?”

He laughed. “Yeah, maybe we should stop doing that.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

Kellin and I were getting to know each quite a bit with these video calls. We would talk for hours before realizing how long we were on the call. Of course, we’d start by working on the song, but then we’d get off track and chat like we were lifelong friends. It really felt like we were.

Kellin was very easy to get along with. He was a really nice guy, funny, and creative as hell. His energy worked well with mine, so we found ourselves working together almost every day.

“Yeah, I like what you have so far,” I said after reading through the lyrics Kellin had emailed me. “This is really good.”

He smiled brightly at me. “Thanks! I’m glad you like it!” I couldn’t help but smile back at him. His smile was infectious, and I think I liked it more than the lyrics he sent.

“Is there a title for it yet?”

I brought myself out of my thoughts and shook my head. “Not yet. We’re hoping to have one once the song is done.”

“Cool,” he said with a nod. “We’ve been on for a while so I think I’m gonna let you go. You’ve probably got things to record or something.”

“Something like that.” I tried really hard to hide the disappointment in my voice. Hopefully he didn’t notice.

“Alright, well I’ll send you another email when I have some more stuff.”

“And sometime in the next month I’ll send you the song demos.” The band was heading to New Jersey to record our third record in February. I figured sending Kellin studio demos would give us both an idea of where the song was and what else we needed to do.

He smiled again. “Awesome! I’m looking forward to it.” I smiled back. “I’ll see you later, Vic.”

“Seeya.” We ended the call, but I stayed sitting there thinking of his smile.

***

March 16

“How was that one?” I asked Kellin from my computer screen. We were once again on FaceTime.

“Hold on.” He typed on his keyboard then called out to someone off camera. Another minute passed and I could hear the recording I had sent him played through speakers in the room.

Kellin alternated between nodding his head along to the music and typing on his computer. When the recording was done he looked at me and smiled.

“Check your email,” was all he said. I did as he asked and read over the lyrics he had just sent.

“That’s it! That’s what we should use!” He gave me a heartfelt laugh and a bright smile.

“Great! Let me record this real quick before I forget.” Kellin had called me while he was in the studio. I asked if he was ready to hear the final master for our song from my end and he agreed. All that was left was for him to send us his master and for our producer to mix both and we’d have a completed track for our fans.

I sat back against the sofa in the studio and listened to Tony in the booth as he tracked his parts for our new album, Collide With The Sky. We had about another month in the studio booked and we were trying to get everything done so we could announce the release. This was an exciting one. We had features from so many of our friends on this upcoming record. Hopefully it would be received well.

“Okay, I’m done.” I looked back down to my computer just in time to see Kellin come back into view. “Give my producer about half an hour and I’ll send you the recording.”

“Sounds good,” I spoke with a nod. He sent me a bright smile, the same one that had been constantly making my heart skip a beat lately.

“Do we have a title for this baby yet?”

“Yeah. My brother said we should call it ‘King For A Day,’ you know, because we’re talking about wanting to overcome all this shit and feel like we’re above it all.”

He nodded along to my explanation. “That works. I can’t wait to hear the finished product.”

“Me too, but trust me, we’ve got a hit.”

***

April 20

“You ready?” Jaime asked me. I chewed on my bottom lip nervously as I read over the potential post once more.

“Dude, it’s fine, just post it,” Mike said in annoyance. I took a breath. He was right, everything was the way it should be.

We had finished recording our record a couple weeks ago and had gotten the masters back. Everything was to our liking so now it was finally time for us to announce the release of our third album.

“Post it!” Tony said excitedly. I nodded at him and hit the button that sent the post to the world.

New album “Collide With The Sky” out JULY 17th! We are very excited to announce that our new album “Collide With The Sky” will be released this Summer on July 17th! We can’t wait to show you the new songs! Till then please spread the word #CollideWithTheSky

Love ya!

-PTV :)

“It’s out there,” I said with a relieved sigh. As soon as I finished speaking my phone buzzed with a new text message.

Congrats dude! I get the first copy right?

I smiled at Kellin’s message. Of course!

“Who are you texting?” I tore my eyes away from my phone to look at Mike.

“Oh, it’s just Kellin.”

“You mean your boyfriend?”

I rolled my eyes. Mike had been teasing me lately about how much time I had spent talking to Kellin in the last few months. That was necessary though; we were writing a song together. Even though I explained that to him he still found moments to make jokes. I didn’t understand why since Kellin and I were just friends. Sure, I may have found him to be adorable, but friends can think that about their friends, right?

“Kellin’s just my friend.”

Mike smirked at me. “Sure, whatever you say.”

***

May 25

“Okay boys, we need a single for this record.”

We were sitting in an office at Fearless Records with our manager and PR representative. Collide had been announced a month ago and hype was starting to slow down. We needed to keep everyone as excited about this record as possible.

“How about ‘King’?” I suggested. “We could finally reveal that we worked with Kellin, and we’d have another fanbase behind us.”

Everyone in the room looked at each other and nodded. “That’s fine with me,” our manager said. “Let me get in touch with Kellin’s people and-”

“I already did.” Jaime looked over to me with an expression I couldn’t make out. I shrugged it off and continued. “It was Kellin’s idea, actually. His management brought it up and asked him to ask me.”

“Oh,” was the only response I got.

Was it weird that Kellin and I had talked about this? No, right? That was just one of our many conversations about the song. Of course, we had talked about other things besides that, but that was our focus.

“Okay, well let’s plan for a release date.”

Once we talked everything over I sent a confirmation text to Kellin. He agreed to our plan without hesitation. I wrote out the Tumblr post shortly after.

Your boy Vic here! We’re very stoked to announce that due to the crazy amounts of requests and tweets that we’ve both been receiving, Kellin Quinn from Sleeping With Sirens and I recorded a new song together! The song is called “King For A Day” and it will be officially released and available for download on June 5th! But for those impatient souls that can’t wait that long, we will be dropping a clip of the song this Wednesday May 30th. You asked us to make it happen and we did it just for you! This song is 100% for fans of PTV and SWS! Thank you so much, can’t wait for you to hear it!

-Vic

“King For A Day” will be found on our upcoming album Collide With The Sky. Pick it up on July 17th!

We left the office feeling very proud of ourselves. This was sure to make the fans even more excited about Pierce The Veil, Sleeping With Sirens, and Collide. I wanted to ride this high forever.

Dude this is exciting! I can’t wait to release this shit! Everyone’s gonna freak the fuck out!!!

Kellin’s text made the smile on my face grow.

Hell yeah! 🤘

He sent a quick message back. This isn’t the end for us right?

Of course not! Not even close. This is just the beginning!

Good! I’d be bummed if you said yes

Maybe it was the feeling of accomplishment that I was still riding on, or the thought of Kellin still wanting to hang out with me even after the song was out. Or maybe it was the message he’d just sent that made my heart flutter. Whatever the reason, it was at that moment that I knew I’d do anything to keep Kellin in my life.

[jos-corner-of-the-world]

Unexpected -- {16}

{15}

You stood in the doorway and watched as Yoongi sat on Lily’s bed and read her a story.  Lily was laying down, her head slightly resting on Yoongi’s shoulder.  You watched almost in a trance as your daughter calmed down little by little, until her tired eyes closed, head still resting on Yoongi’s shoulder.

It took every ounce of willpower you had not to cry at the sight.

You walked out into the living room to try and control your emotions.  You heard Yoongi’s footsteps coming from Lily’s room, but didn’t look towards him yet.

“I better get going. Thanks for letting me read to her. It was really fun.”

“She really likes you, ya know.” you pointed out.

“It’s good that the feeling is mutual then.  You’ve raised a great little girl.”

Yoongi didn’t hesitate this time when he gave you a small hug before leaving.

The next morning you were woken up by your phone ringing.

“Hello?” you answered, hoping it came out legible.

“Still sleeping? It’s past 9.” Namjoon said.

“Yeah, it was a rough day and night so I was just really tired I think. What’s up?” you asked.

“We were wondering if you and Lily wanted to come and spend the day here with us? I know it’s Lily’s surprise day, but if you don’t have any other plans we’d love to have you guys.  We start schedules tomorrow so we’re going to be really busy.”

“We didn’t have anything planned since I was so busy with the showcase. I think that’s a great idea.  I’ll go get Lily up and we’ll see you guys in a bit.”

When you walked into Lily’s room you found her laying awake on her bed.

“How come you didn’t come and wake me up?” you asked her, sitting next to her on the bed.

“I didn’t wanna bother you.” she said.

“Oh baby, you never bother me.  Can we talk?” you asked her.

“Can we do it later?” she asked.

“Of course. But only if you promise to talk to me.” you said, holding out your pinky to her.

“I promise.” she said, wrapping her tiny finger around yours.

“Alright munchkin, gotta get up and get ready.” you told her.

“Why?”

“It’s Lily’s surprise day!!” you said, hoping your voice sounded excited.  It wasn’t that you weren’t excited, you just hated when Lily was mad at you because it didn’t happen often.

“Really? We’re going to do surprise day?” Lily asked, a little light coming back into her eyes.

“Yep, but only if you get up and get ready.  I’ll even let you eat poptarts in my car on the way.”

“Whoa. You never let me eat in your car!” Lily said, jumping out of bed and going over to her dresser.

“Well it’s a special day! I’m going to go get dressed too. Come get me if you need any help.”

“Momma, I’ve been dressing myself for a long time.” Lily pouted.

“Yeah well, that doesn’t always work out.  You don’t always wear matching clothes baby.” you laughed.

“Neither do you, but I’m only almost 5.” Lily said, sass coming back tenfold.

“Ya know what kid, just for that, I’m gonna wear mismatched clothes today.”

“Oh momma, please don’t. I was just kidding!” Lily begged.

“Okay okay, you win. Get ready.” you said before closing her door and go back to your own room.

“Why is we at a hotel momma?” Lily asked.  You thought she would remember the guys were staying here, but the one time you dropped Yoongi off she had been fast asleep in the back seat.

“Well baby it’s a surprise.” you said.

You took the elevator to the floor Namjoon had said they were staying on and found their room door.

“Why don’t you know Lily?” you said, prompting her to knock on the door.

She looked up at you a little apprehensively, but once she saw your encouraging smile she knocked on the door.

You don’t think it even took five seconds for someone on the other side to open it.

“Kookie! Hi! What are you doing here?” Lily asked.  “Are you here for my surprise day too?!”

“This is your surprise! You guys get to hang out here with us.” Jungkook said as the two of you walked into the hotel room.

“That sounds fun, but what are we going to do in a hotel?” Lily asked.

You had wondered the same thing.  But you didn’t need to wonder long.

Twenty minute later found Jin and Lily jumping on one of the beds in the room.  You wanted to tell her to stop, it was rude.  But she was having so much fun, and you were still feeling really guilty about last night.

“Jin, stop.  It’s dangerous.” You heard Yoongi say from across the room.  You knew it was for Lily’s sake and not for Jin’s. At that you had to smile.

“It’s okay, I’m tired anyway” Lily said, hopping off the bed.

“I’m hungry.” she said as she came to sit with you on the couch.

“What are you hungry for? We can call room service, or have something delivered.  Whatever you want.” Yoongi said, bringing over a menu from the restaurant in the hotel.

“Oh, do they have cheeseballs? I love cheeseballs.” Lily said.  You had to laugh because Lily got her love of fried cheese from you.

“If they don’t I’m sure we can find a place close by that does.”

All of you took your time looking over the menu before decided to order room service.  Lily had gone with breakfast foods with a side of cheeseballs, and you ordered the same thing.

As you waited on the food you were looking around the suite the guys were staying in.

Jungkook and Taehyung were sitting on opposite beds in one room, laptops in front of them, playing video games.  Jimin and Hoseok were in one corner of the living room and they looked like they were talking about choreography because every once in awhile one of them would break out in a random dance room.  Namjoon was sitting in a chair with a notepad in front of him, pen in his mouth.  Jin was looking over the menu again.  Your best guess was he was contemplating ordering more food.  And Yoongi was sitting on the couch with you, Lily squished between the two of you as the two of them played a game on his phone.

It was weird seeing them in their own environment.  It seemed as though they were all comfortable being together, but doing their own thing.  It was also nice that they felt comfortable enough to do what they wanted with you and Lily there.  You didn’t feel like an intruder, or an outsider.  Looking around it felt comfortable, and normal even.

“So how’s the writing for the album coming along?” you asked Yoongi.

“It’s mostly done.  There’s a few tweaks we have to make, but those usually happen during the recording process.” He said, looking up form the game him and Lily were playing.

“How long will you guys record?” you asked.

“It just depends on how many changes we make along the way.  The album release date iss set for October 10th so we have a few months, and it won’t take that long.”

It was currently the middle of July.  That meant it was only a couple of weeks from Lily’s 5th birthday and six weeks until she started school again.

“Hey, I’ll be right back.” you said suddenly, getting an idea.

You walked into the room Taehyung and Jungkook were in, pulling Jimin and Hoseok in with you.

“Got a minute?” you asked.

“Well we do now.” Jimin shot back. “What’s up?”

“I was just thinking about it and Lily’s birthday is in two weeks, the last day of July.  We usually just have a little party with Miss Clara and us since it’s summer and it’s hard to get in touch with kids from her school. Do you guys want to celebrate with us this year? I know you guys are going to be really busy, but if you have a free day I think Lily would love that.”

“As long as we don’t have any meetings scheduled we can make the time. Do you know what day it falls on?” Hoseok asked.

“Yeah it’s two weeks from today so Sunday.”

“Oh, then we can for sure make it. Do we get to bring gifts?!” Hoseok asked. Jungkook and Taehyung both shot their heads up at the question.

“Oh no please don’t worry about that. She’ll get gifts from Clara and I, just bring yourselves.”

“Who shows up at a kids birthday party without a gift? That’s just mean.” Taehyung said.

{17}

[ficdirectory]

The Crossing (Disuphere series #3) Chapter 30

Scene IV: They Live In You

Dominique can’t help it.  The question’s out of her mouth before she can stop it.  Irreverent.  Sarcastic.  “Your invisible friend?  It wasn’t me, was it?”

“No,” Jesus answers, not sarcastic at all.  He’s sad, almost grieving when he says:  “Like you, with me, he was real.”

“You really don’t think it’s weird?” Dominique checks.

“No.  I mean, we all have to cope,” Jesus maintains.

“I used to think...what was happening to me was happening to you, too…” Dominique admits.

“Was it?” Jesus checks.  “I mean, did I like, tell you it was?”

“No.  You never answered.  I just figured you weren’t answering because you didn’t wanna say it out loud.”

“Maybe you didn’t want to say it out loud,” Jesus ventures softly, no judgment.

Dominique exhales, impressed.  “That is….  That is very true…”  Silence again.  She should really go back across the hall but there’s something almost sacred about being awake when no one else is, and just talking.  Just being.  “My um...he used to make me call him my boyfriend...he used to always say everybody was looking for you, but nobody was for me.”

“He used to go search for me.  Talk to my mom.  While he had me locked in his basement…” Jesus shudders.  “He came back and told me about it once.  Brought me a pin with my face on it.”

Dominique shivers, too.  

“Only my parents were ever looking for me.  Cops decided I ran away.  Just turned eleven.  Straight-A student.  Happy at home.”

“That sucks,” Jesus says.  “And they looked for me…but they didn’t find me.”

“Nobody found me, either,” Dominique agrees.  

For a while, they just sit.  Jesus seems tired, and so is Dominique but neither one of them is willing to surrender to sleep.  Dominique’s sure it’ll bring nightmares after what went down tonight.

“Can I ask a question….I already asked?” Jesus asks, tentative.

“Are you asking me?” Dominique wonders, surprised.  “You don’t need my permission, Jesus.  Ask whatever you want…”

“I know it’s just...trauma…  I could never ask anything.  And definitely could never repeat a question.”

“Well, it was damn scary earlier tonight.  But I don’t think you’re stupid.  And you’re not back there now ‘cause you didn’t have your awesome across-the-hall triplet then.  To be clear, you can absolutely ask a question.  Even if it’s a repeat.  Repeating can help the truth settle...at least I’ve found…”

“Yeah?” Jesus asks.

“Yeah.”

“Are we still friends?”  He looks terrified.  Like she’s definitely gonna say no.

“We are.  We’re friends.  According to you and Mariana, we’re triplets.  And that doesn’t go away when one of you has a tough day does it?  You don’t stop being there for Mariana?”

“No.”

“So, I won’t stop being there for you.  It might be hard sometimes.  I might need space.  I might feel safer with Mariana at times, like you do.  But I always wanna be your friend.  Do you wanna be mine?”

“Real friends.  Not invisible,” Jesus says, certain.

“No, not invisible.  We spent long enough like that,” Dominique yawns.  “I should go back,” she says, regretful.

“Hey...I’m glad I could be there for you.  To help, you know…” Jesus says.

“Yeah, thanks for being cool about it.  And for checking out the tweet.”  She scoops up Roberta, who’s fallen asleep in a corner of Jesus’s kitchen.  She keeps Jesus in sight, backing to the door, not able to break this old habit.

“I’m really sorry for not responding.  It really isn’t ‘cause I didn’t care.  I saw your tweet.  And it meant a lot to me.  I’m not some asshole who’s above all this, and all about his social media presence.”

“That’s not what I thought,” Dominique allows and then corrects herself.  “Okay, that kinda is what I thought...but…”

“You didn’t have the full information, and the pieces you did have left you with a lot of holes,” Jesus says simply.  “It’s okay.  I’m not mad.”

“Okay,” Dominique nods.  “And it’s okay if you need to ask me stuff.  Even repeat questions,” she clarifies.

“You should go, you’re gonna be a zombie tomorrow…” Jesus encourages.

“Yeah, too bad I don’t have a costume for that.”

“Maybe Mom does,” Jesus grins.  “That was a seriously awesome costume she had.”

“I’ll let her know you appreciate it,” Dominique nods.  “‘Night, Jesus.”

“‘Night,” he says.

Back in her own place, Dominique locks the door behind her.  Picks up her phone and texts Mom.  

Fire alarm.  No real fire.  But scared me.  Also Jesus likes your Maleficent costume.

Mom:

You okay?

Dominique:

Mom.  I didn’t actually expect you to be up and text me back now.  Did I wake you?

Mom:

Of course I’m gonna text you back now.  Tell Jesus thank you when you see him.  Are you okay?

Dominique:

I gotta be up in an hour.  IDK if it’s even worth it to try and sleep right now or if I should get up for the day and buy a trenta sized iced white mocha to get me through.

Mom:

If you can, try to get some rest.  Even if all you can do is lie down and breathe deep.  Sing something, maybe.

Dominique:

Sing what?

Mom:

What do you feel?

Dominique:

Tired.  Happy.  Relieved.  Adrenaline.

Mom sends a voice note and Dominique plays it.  There’s Mom’s voice singing to her softly: “Here’s a little song I wrote.  You might want to sing it note for note, but don’t worry.  Be happy.”

Dominique records her own voice, singing back: “In every life we have some trouble, but when we worry, we make it double.  Don’t worry.  Be happy.  Thank you, Mom.”

She lays awake for an hour, feeling tense as her thoughts race, but she tries to do what Mom suggested and take deep breaths for a while.  It doesn’t work for her.  She keeps expecting the fire alarm to go off again.  Finally, she gives up and gets out of bed.  Her alarm will go off in ten minutes and Dominique turns it off.

Tries to find clean clothes for work, but her mind is elsewhere.  Talking to Jesus had been good.  Talking to Mariana never stopped being good.  Jesus still wants to be friends.  Mariana never stopped, and Francesca feels like a little sister that Dominique’s never had.

Domminique has a birthday coming up.  Maybe Jesus and Mariana (Francesca, too, if she wants,) can come and hang out at Mom and Dad’s then.

On a whim, she group-texts all three Adams-Fosters and asks what they think.

So, my bday is on Saturday, October 3 and I was wondering if y’all wanted to do dinner at my house that night?  Don’t have to bring presents.  Just yourselves.  RSVP whenever.

On her break at work, Dominique checks her texts:

Francesca:

I want to go.  I want to go to avoydense to.

Jesus:

Wait.  Dom how did you get Fran’s number?

Francesca:

I gave it to her.

Mariana:

I’m in.

Jesus:

Me too, with questions.

Dominique smiles.  Texts the group back:

Questions are welcome.  What do you say we go to Avoidance for a pre bday meeting.  Maybe Fri afternoon?

Francesca:

I am at school 330.

Dominique:

We’ll have it after 3:30, Francesca, so everybody can come.

Francesca texts back a row of smiling emojis, plus hearts and a rainbow.  Then a picture of her Kindle with the first Harry Potter book loaded on the screen.

This is so good did you read it all?

Dominique:

Maybe ;) (Yes.  Several times.)

Francesca:

OK don’t tell me what happens!!!!

Dominique:

Okay I won’t.

Mariana:

What have you done to our sister? ;)

Jesus:

Excited for Avoidance + bday dinner w/ the fam.

Dominique smiles again:

Me, too.  

[steelmagnoliamusic]

14 October 2020

Music Recommendation: Crimson Apple

These cuties! They’re gorgeous and badass, and one of my new favorite bands. Crimson Apple is a 4-person band made of sisters Colby, Carthi, Faith, and Shelby Benson. This synopsis is directly from their official website: “CRIMSON APPLE is a band of four sisters from Hawaii, based in Los Angeles, California. Their sound, an epic and cinematic dark-pop, is fused with a wide variety of influences including alternative, indie-rock, K-pop, and J-pop. 

While many assume that the sisters have been playing music together since birth, Crimson Apple formed the summer of 2012. The girls have always viewed the formation of the band as an act of fate; each sister picked up their respective instruments and found their love of music at different stages in their lives. One day, they realized that together, they made up the perfect pieces of a whole band.

After performing in numerous venues in their beautiful home of Hawaii, the sisters decided to relocate to Los Angeles in 2015 to further pursue their music careers. Within a year of the move, they became regular performers for Disneyland and shortly after signed recording- and management deals with Amuse Group USA, Inc. 

Crimson Apple has since been making music and touring multiple festivals and venues across America, opening for major acts such as The Chainsmokers, The Plain White T's, and All Time Low. Their passion can be felt in their hard-hitting live performances and their debut EP, "Somebody", where the band has worked devotedly to create a strong, cohesive image and sound that reflects their bond as sisters. 

With the release of "Break Your Heart Worse" on May 22, Crimson Apple uses a dark, twisted love story to introduce the next phase of their evolution as a band.

CRIMSON APPLE is: Colby Benson - Lead Vocals; Shelby Benson - Guitar / Vocals; Carthi Benson - Bass / Vocals; Faith Benson - Drums / Vocals” (https://www.crimsonappleband.com)

And I can attest that their sound is definitely anti-pop and epic and awesome. Trust.

I found these ladies on Tik Tok. They came up on my FYP, and I thought that they seemed cool, so I checked them out, and I liked their sound and their vibe. They had also posted a little Tik Tok of them as “the female 5SOS,” which I saw after I already listened to them and liked them, and you know me, I was sold. They are so incredible and talented. I love watching the videos where “Faith [catches] that beat” cause no matter where or when, homegirl drops some sick beats. Honestly, I wanted to learn the drums because of Ashton. Now I really wanna learn the drums so I can feel as cool as Faith.

And did I mention these girls are stinking stunning. This has nothing to do with their talent and abilities. I just think they’re pretty.

Okay, but let’s get down to business (to defeat the Huns). (I have no regrets.) Crimson Apple is not a “new” band, but they only just started releasing their own music. Out now is their Somebody EP, which includes “Shower,” “Can’t Get Out Of Bed,” “Sorry Now,” “Somebody,” “Mr. Maker,” and “Who Knows,”and it was released in 2019, and their latest single, “Break Your Heart Worse,” which was released earlier this year. It’s only 7 songs, about 23 minutes all together, but they are some bomb ass songs. Not gonna lie. It’s so anti-pop and makes me feel like a badass when I listen to them. My favorites that I’ll talk about are “Can’t Get Out Of Bed,” “Shower,” and “Who Knows.”

First up is “Can’t Get Out Of Bed.” I relate to this song hard core. If you’ve ever dealt with depression, I think you will too. It’s literally about those bad days when you have no energy to do anything and all you want to do is just stay in bed until it passes. People try to tell you that it’s in your head, and that you should take some medicine and drink water, then you’ll be fine, but it’s like “not that simple, my dude.” But you know yourself and you know that this slump comes and goes and you just need some time to feel the sadness before you feel better. That’s what I get from the song, and I’ve mentioned before, I have depression, anxiety, and PTSD, and the past few years have been rough, this year especially and rightfully so. So when I heard this song, it described exactly what I go through going into, during, and out of my bad days. It was in WORDS. And I’m sure there are plenty of you out there who have heard or saw something and had that “THIS IS ME” feeling. That was one of mine. What else I like about it is it’s about depression, but it’s not depressing. It reminds me of the Twenty One Pilots song, “Not Today,” because of that bit where it’s like “Listen, I know/ This one’s a contradiction because of how happy it sounds/ but the lyrics are so down.” I just love it.

Okay, second is “Shower.” This is also one of “Not Today” dark-pop songs that I love so much. Literally, if you have ever just took a hot,steamy shower because you/ your family and/or friends/ the world feels like shit, and you just want to stay in the heat until it runs cold so that you can just forget your problems for a bit, then this song is for you: “So she run, run, run, runs to the shower/ Off with the clothes, out with the sour/ Run, run, run, runs all the water/ Down til it's cold, up there for hours/ Woah, washing away/ Woah, let it circle the drain.” Like CGOOB, this “Shower” is just so relatable, and who doesn’t love a good, relatable song that accurately describes your thoughts or feelings about something to jam to. Honest, it’s the best. *Chef kiss*

Finally, let’s bring up “Who Knows.” This closest I’ve been to dating a guy was this one guy I talked to and really liked, but he kept being dramatic and started acting like a piece of shit, and I knew that if I stayed I was gonna get hurt. But I still find myself thinking about him and what would have happened if I stayed seeing and talking with him: “You try to pull me closer, I start to fall again/ Tell me you still remember, cuz I remember/ Baby we were fire in the rain/ Burning through the night just to fade/ When you say I coulda loved you longer/ Who knows where we could have gone?/ It's a lie if we stay/ Living for the past and the pain/ When you say I coulda loved you longer/ Who knows where we could have gone?/ (Who knows?) Who knows what we shoulda done/ (Who knows?) Who knows where we coulda gone/ (Who knows?) Who knows what we woulda done/ (Who knows, who knows?).” I really like“Who Knows” because it kind of puts the feelings I have into words and reminds me that I’m still better off without him. Something everyone needs to hear every now and again. All the claps.

Oh my goodness, y’all. Crimson Apple is just too good. The sass, the bad-assery, the darkness, the relatability: it’s perfect! 10/10 recommend that you check them out. It’s absolutely worth the time to hear it, even if you only listen once. I wanna throw it back to another artist that Crimson Apple’s talent reminds me off: Sierra Deaton. Random, I know, but you know, she hasn’t released anything after “Don’t Hurt,” and I wish she would because she’s so wonderful. I say this because both acts: top notch. I want to hear more! Bet your ass that I will be here when they do!

For the love of music,

Chavela

[marcscurrentlyspinning]

Slaughter Beach, Dog - Birdie

Modern Baseball is one of the most important bands to me. They made their first record Sports while fresh in college back in 2012. They had to tell The Wonder Years several times that they couldn’t go on a ginormous tour with them (even though they really wanted to) ‘cause they didn’t want to fall behind in school, but eventually they agreed and found a schedule they could work around. This is when MOBO started to blow up fast, and it heightened with the release of their sophomore album You’re Gonna Miss It All. The album charted on the Heatseekers billboard. The anticipation for their third record was palpable. Holy Ghost came out two years later during a stressful time of the band members’ lives. Bren (half of the songwriting force and fellow guitarist) had suicidal thoughts and almost jumped off his apartment building if it wasn’t for Jake (also half of the songwriting force and guitarist) randomly texting him about something out of the blue. Bren stepped down from the roof and sought treatment, while Jake was struggling to find meaning as his grandfather, a main source of inspiration in his life, had just recently died. Holy Ghost touches upon both of their stories, and is some of the most personal songwriting you could find from a pop-punk/emo/indie/whatever-you-wanna-call-’em band from Philly. I saw them live back in October 2016 while they were on tour with Brand New and they looked tired. At the end of their set Bren threw his guitar down and left before the rest of the band. Shortly after their tour with BN they announced Bren wouldn’t follow the rest of the band on tour to Europe, and then shortly after they came back they announced a hiatus while cancelling all of their American tour dates for 2017. If they break up they’ve had a hell of a run and have made some of the most honest music that musicians everywhere strive to make. But just because MOBO may be done doesn’t mean the individual musicians are through writing music.

Jake Ewald started this side project back in 2015 to write music for songs that didn’t quite fit with MOBO. Alongside MOBO bassist and friend Ian Farmer, he released his first record Welcome a year later, which, while Modern Baseball-esque still has inklings of Jake taking strides and shifts into different directions. Birdie, his sophomore release, takes those strides to even greater heights. Jake was always a talented songwriting, and with Slaughter Beach it truly is his time to shine.

Birdie’s a great record that I’d suggest you to listen to. I hope Jake continues to make music, and I hope someday we’ll get to hear Bren release some solo stuff (if he ever decides to make solo stuff). Writing this just makes me wanna listen to all of MOBO again and hope to god they don’t break up.

“Last night at the bar From a table in the backyard Where the townies could not overhear We made our exchange How little we had changed Anxious and unsure and weird”

[mogdaze-blog]

Midnight Rendezvous - Short Story for Halloween

It’s hard to make a good living as an actor. Unless you’re an A-lister, chances are you’ve probably got a second job on the side to make ends meet while you try to live out your dreams. That used to be me, too: a plucky little kid eager to take on any role he could get. I was more than willing to bust my ass in the meantime if it meant getting to do what I love, knowing that all the long hours and back-breaking work would be worth it in the end. When I got my big break.

Life has done a great job of beating that enthusiasm out of me since then.

Now, I’m a graphic designer. The work is interesting, don’t get me wrong, and it puts bread on the table, but it was never my real passion. Ever since I was a little kid, all I ever wanted to do was play pretend, and it’d been my greatest goal since then to do it professionally - even though I hadn’t scored a real acting job since the Nineties.

That’s why, when in mid-October I was contacted by my old agent, Sean Harrell, for the first time in a decade, I didn’t hesitate to pick up the phone.

“Travis! You son of a bitch, you!” He said in the cheerful, endearing way only a talent agent could get away with calling someone a son of a bitch, “shit, what’s it been, eight years? God, it’s crazy how time flies.”

“What do you want, Sean? I didn’t even know I still had you on retainer.”

“Once your agent, always your agent, baby,” he said with a laugh, “if you’re wondering why I’m so chipper, it’s because I just got handed a big, juicy opportunity for you, my man.”

The last alleged “big, juicy opportunity” Sean had gotten me was a commercial for breath spray running on a few major networks back in the day. I couldn’t get a date for a few weeks afterwards, thanks to my newfound reputation as “Man With Halitosis Number 3.” Sean was one gift horse who was occasionally filled with bloodthirsty Trojan soldiers, so I’d learned to look at his offers with a healthy sense of scepticism.

“What’s this big opportunity?”

“You’ve been offered a guest spot on a major talk show,” he said, giddy as a kid on Christmas morning, “I’ve been speaking to the reps all morning, they’re practically begging to have you on.”

I scoffed and shook my head, though I knew Sean couldn’t see it. Even when I was acting, it was cult stuff - B-movies and little indie films where the work was varied but the pay was crap; none of them ever broke out of the indie circuit and made it big. In short, it was all nothing that Conan O'Brien or Jimmy Fallon would give two shits about.

“What talk show is this?” I asked.

“Midnight Rendezvous, with Julie Forrester. It goes out live to a few million people every week.”

“Never heard of it.”

“That’s funny,” he said, “because the reps told me that if I mentioned the name, you’d know it immediately.”

“Well,” I said, feeling irritated, “I guess they’ve got the wrong guy. Why would they want me, anyway? I don’t even act anymore, it’s not like I’ve got anything to promote.”

“Apparently,” Sean said, speaking uncharacteristically slowly, as though trying to choose his words extra carefully, “don’t get mad, but they want to talk about The Red Weekend.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured you’d say that. They’re recording on the 31st.”

“Halloween? Oh, for fuck’s sakes, Sean. Could it get any tackier? Look, if they call again, tell them I don’t wanna talk about that stupid movie, and if that doesn’t get them to shut up, tell them they can take their offer, and shove it up their–”

“The pay, Travis. Let me tell you about the pay before you get all…heated.”

“What are they offering?” I grumbled.

“Fifteen thousand, for just a couple of hours on set. Still feeling crabby, Trav?”

Yes, I was, but I didn’t feel I could show it. Fifteen thousand for a few hours sitting on a couch in a studio, being asked questions about some stupid B-movie I starred in when I was in my twenties, seemed like a deal only a proud idiot would turn down. I may have been proud, perhaps unreasonably so, but I was no idiot.

“You sure these guys are legit?” I asked, not wanting to say yes right after hearing the number, “they’re not just gonna lure me out to some vacant lot, beat me over the head, and harvest my organs?”

Sean groaned into the phone. It was like we’d never stopped speaking. Truth be told, I’d missed the slimy bastard. At least he gave it all to you straight. When you spoke to Sean Harrell, you knew what you were in for.

“Look, Travis, there’s no way to ever really be sure they’re not organ traffickers - hell, I’m sure Kimmel fenced a kidney or two when he was starting out - but I can give you at least a strong 80% certainty that these guys are the real deal,” he said, “I spoke to the host for a little while, uh, Julie! She seems nice, you know, a personality. I’m sure you two will get along just fine.”

“You said the exact same thing about that Fairweather woman, but that fell through, too. How do I know this is gonna be any different to that?”

“Oh, come on, Trav, that’s not fair. You know the Fairweather thing couldn’t be helped. Besides, it was ten years ago. This? This is now, and now I’ve got this offer on the table for you and you only. Do you think I would have called if I thought this was just gonna be bullshit? Hell no. So, what’ll it be, buddy, you in or you out?”

I gave a reluctant sigh, before finally saying, “fuck it, why not. Sign me up.”

“Great! I’m so glad you said that, Travis, because truth be told I’d already said yes on your behalf.”

“Jesus Christ, Sean.”

“What? It’s my job to make decisions in the best interests of your career, even if you don’t. I’ll keep in touch and feed you the details in the next couple days. It’s shaping up to be a real happy Halloween, Mr. Norton.”

“Don’t push it. Speak to you later, Sean.”

“Later.”

He hung up after that, and I was left with nothing but silence and my thoughts.

The Red Weekend. It’d been a while since I’d heard that name, and that was no accident. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that it was the movie that destroyed my credibility, and my acting career, so just thinking about it made my blood boil. Plot-wise, it was nothing special. Just a derivative 1985 monster movie cashing in on the slasher formula that was so popular at the time, with a few stolen shades of “Creature from The Black Lagoon.” A bunch of hapless teenagers decided to spend a weekend in a cabin on the edge of a lake, only to have their fun spoiled by a creature rising up and slaughtering all of them except one - who then goes on to turn the tables and slay the monster, avenging the fallen. Simple, cheap, and cheesy.

I played the creature from the lake, affectionately dubbed by the cast, crew, and all five-or-so fans of the movie as “The Bog Man.” If I took the role today (which, by the way, I wouldn’t) I’d have gone uncredited and collected my pay check, before moving on with my life. But I was star-struck, by the one person on the production team with what you might call genuine prestige.

Richard Upton Pavlović, the most iconic special effects artist you’ve never heard of. All the greats - Savini, Baker, Rambaldi, and a laundry list of others - all studied under Pavlović at one time or another, since he immigrated from Croatia in the forties. But he was a famously private man: nobody outside the business had ever heard of him; he was one of B-cinema’s best kept secrets. While the number of special effects artists who’d studied under him was vast, he only chose to work on a handful of different films personally: one of which, for reasons I doubt I’ll ever understand, was The Red Weekend.

The reason I took the role, and the reason I chose to be credited, was that in playing The Bog Man I’d be working one-on-one with Pavlović in the makeup room. It was my only chance to really interact with a living legend, before his death from a sudden heart attack back in 2007. Pavlović was a man with extraordinary vision. His one condition for working on a project was full creative control over creature designs, because he needed to be unstifled to truly work his magic. And it was magic: he could string together blood and gore with the best of them, sure, but when it came to monster design, Pavlović was the master.

When I met him in person for the first time, in a makeup trailer during a bitterly cold day in September, I was surprised by how small he was. Pavlović was a squat, wiry man with a silver horseshoe of hair and thick half-moon spectacles, looking like a cartoon shrew from a mid-30s Disney short. His design for The Bog Man was assembled in a thick stack of papers he carried in the crook of his arm, and started pinning around the makeup chair I was sitting on.

“Have you been under heavy prosthetics before?” He asked, with a soft, frail voice that still carried the echoes of a Croatian accent.

“No,” I said, “but I’m open to new experiences.”

Pavlović gave a quiet, good-hearted chuckle at my naïveté and continued pinning up his pictures. They were all hand-drawn pencil illustrations, some of parts of the creature, others of the entire thing. It was a huge amphibian, a little bigger than a human, with features somewhere between an axolotl and a triceratops, with the addition of a long, whipping tail. It was a hunched, slimy, pot-bellied creature with green skin and long arms ending in six thick claws. There was a strangely childlike nature to its head: wide and flat, largely smooth and featureless, with beady black eyes and three horns sprouting from either side of its head. In the illustrations with its mouth closed, it seemed more like a frog, with its lipless gob stretching from one set of horns to the other. When the mouth was open, it reminded me more of a shark, with multiple rows of switchblade fangs.

“What is this thing? I’ve never seen anything quite like it.”

“It is Rugoba,” Pavlović replied, gravely, “haunter of shadows, devourer of man.”

“Did you draw all these yourself?” I asked, “the detail is incredible.”

“Some I drew, yes,” he said, unpacking his equipment now, “others I inherited, from family members back in the old country. Creatures in the movies these days, they’re too tacky, too homogenised. I like to draw inspiration from older sources. It looks better, don’t you agree?”

I nodded in agreement, not knowing what else to do.

What followed was nothing short of gruelling. Seven hours in the makeup chair every morning and every night, and layer after layer of paint, putty, latex, slime, and false skin was packed onto me, until I felt like I’d been shrink-wrapped. Pavlović was a perfectionist, and I can’t imagine anyone ever felt that better than me. The head was a mixture of latex and animatronics that I wore like a helmet, with extremely limited visibility. My hands and feet were bound and fitted with claws, and a multi-jointed wire wrapped in latex became my whipping tail, that moved of its own accord.

For all the layers they’d packed onto me, it didn’t do anything to insulate. During the shoot - a lot of which I spent emerging from water and chasing down drunk, horny morons - it was a miracle I never came down with hypothermia. Day after day after day in Pavlović’s makeup chamber of horrors, all for a film I knew nobody was going to see. It was only when I got the chance to see the first proper cut of the film that I started to truly understand all the mythos behind Pavlović’s supposed mad genius: when I watched the film, waiting to see myself in a hokey monster costume, prancing through the woods, I never got what I wanted. When I was on screen, there was no recognising me, because I was not there. It was only the Rugoba, as if it’d been ripped straight from Pavlović’s nightmares and spat onto the screen, hunting its prey.

I remembered performing all the actions I’d see on screen, but I couldn’t - no matter how hard I tried - see myself doing it. Pavlović had turned me into his monster, and he’d done it flawlessly. The movie, as anticipated, was hot garbage, with plotting and characters as thin as wet toilet paper, unbearable dialogue, and thoroughly incompetent cinematography. But the Rugoba? That, I think I can say without a doubt, was the greatest, most realistic monster to ever grace the silver screen.

However, there was another element of the Pavlović legend which made him a little less desirable to work with. Actors, in one regard, are a lot like football players: they’re a superstitious bunch. The little superstition that Richard Pavlović carried around his neck was that he was cursed: any film he chose to work on was doomed to fail, and if you were unlucky, that failure would spread its tendrils out to the cast and crew as well.

Ian Barker, one of my co-stars, once told me in confidence that he felt the whole production just reeked of doom to him, like some invisible axe was hanging over all of our heads, just waiting for the right moment to drop. Thanks to being in full Rugoba makeup for almost my entire time on set, not many of the cast interacted with me - I was the amphibian social leper - but Ian was different. He was at least someone I felt like I could talk to, even if most of what we discussed was Pavlović’s curse.

To me, it was all stupid, baseless hokum, but towards the end of the shoot, I started getting worried. Maybe it was the fear that rattled me, but after The Red Weekend, I never nailed another audition: not for movies, not for TV, not for Broadway. Sean netted me a few commercials after that, but for all intents and purposes, my serious acting career was kaput. Looking back, I probably never had the nerve for stardom anyway, but just thinking about that movie had the power to leave a sour taste in my mouth.

And this Julie Forrester wanted me to talk about it on live TV. Part of me, honestly, was afraid of what I’d say, under pressure, and under the intensity of all those studio lights. My best guess for what they were trying to do was a Halloween retrospective on the life and work of Richard Pavlović, monster movie maestro, and seeing as I was the last actor to officially work with him, my experiences held some weight.

In the end, if I could take home fifteen grand for a talk show appearance a couple decades after my fifteen minutes of mild fame were up, who was I to complain?

Sean got back to me a few days later, saying a chauffeur paid by the studio would be taking me from my bungalow on the edge of L.A. to the studio. It all felt a little much, considering my credentials, but Sean just encouraged me to put my feet up and enjoy it. After all, I didn’t know when I’d get another experience like this, if I ever did. Might as well soak it in while I still could.

It was about eight at night, and trick-or-treaters were already prowling the streets, when a black BMW parked in front of my home and dimmed the lights. It felt less like a talk show valet and more like a mafia hitman, but I walked up to the car nonetheless, and the driver rolled down the window. It was a woman who looked to be in her mid-forties, wearing a classic chauffeur hat and a wide, inviting grin.

“You Travis Norton?” She asked.

I nodded.

“Hop on in, Sir. I’m Mary, I’m gonna drive you down to the studio.”

The car was comfortable, and there was a small bottle of champagne in a little icebox on the seat next to me, with a smiling jack-o-lantern painted onto it. The temptation was there, but I didn’t touch it - probably wasn’t wise to get loaded before a TV interview. Once I was belted up, Mary fired up the ignition and drove.

“Everything okay back there, Mr. Norton?” Mary said.

“Oh yeah,” I replied, “it’s wonderful. I feel bad for making you come out, I could have driven down myself.”

Mary laughed to herself in the front seat.

“Nonsense, Mr. Norton,” she said, “I’m honoured to have you in my car. I never thought that I’d be in the company of the star of The Red Weekend. If it’s not too unprofessional of me to ask, would I be able to have your autograph when we arrive? I’d just like to show my kids.”

“You let your kids watch The Red Weekend?” I asked, remembering its plethora of gory death scenes.

“Are you kidding?” Mary said with another hearty laugh, “it’s their favourite movie. They’re crazy for it.”

For the rest of the journey, I remained largely silent. Mary seemed nice at face value, but the more you spoke to her, the more you realised something was off about her. But it wasn’t just Mary that was a little odd: the car, upon closer, more sustained inspection, was strange too. The back windows were so tinted you could barely see out of them, and before I knew it, I was hopelessly lost. I’d lived in L.A. for most of my adult life, but the neighbourhoods Mary was driving us through felt totally alien to me.

The studio was like an anthill, pulsing with life, and dotted with more rictus pumpkins. Assistants and stagehands shuffled to and fro in steady streams, the pumping lifeblood of the whole big, complicated affair, as Mary pulled us into the parking lot. I got out of the car, gave a small, reluctant autograph in her pocket book - dedicated to her kids, of course - before being ushered away by another little detachment of stagehands. The place seemed to run with almost military efficiency, with everyone around me constantly checking their watches before moving at a quickened pace.

It was this aspect of a life in show-business that I never missed.

“Mr. Norton,” said a shrewd-looking studio rep who’d materialised from a crowd of scurrying assistants - he’d never be on camera, but his suit looked far nicer than mine, “I’m Michael. Splendid to see you accepted our offer. Please, follow me, I’ll see to it that you get to Miss Forrester.”

Ten years out of the media, and here, I was a babe in the woods. I blindly followed Michael further into the bowels of the studio, away from packed crowds of excited guests being corralled into queues. Most had won contests to be here, and the rest had probably paid their way in. They’d be the ones watching me, reminding me that I was being watched, not just by them, but by millions of others who’d all tune in to a show I’d never even heard of. It’d been a strange and eventful Halloween.

Before I knew it, in the haze of yelling directors and baking studio lights, I was backstage. They ushered me into a makeup room, where I was given the most minimal makeup job I’d ever seen, even more so considering my work on The Red Weekend for comparison. I was about half way through deciding whether it was a compliment when the door opened behind me, and a strange, kinetic energy seemed to fill the room, as though someone had just turned on a generator.

“Travis Norton,” said a shrill, excited voice coming from a shape I could only just catch in the corner of my mirror, “you have no idea how long I’ve waited for this. I feel like I need someone to pinch me.”

Julie Forrester, like most television hosts, was a font of untapped energy, constantly bubbling beneath the surface. She was a little shorter than me at about 5"8, decked out in a tasteful grey suit, with a broad smile that seemed to flash the majority of her paper-white, perfectly-aligned teeth. She’d been prepped and polished by countless stylists and makeup artists, because I couldn’t for the life of me tell you how old she was - you could peg me as a middle-aged bum at a glance, but Julie seemed to stand outside age, just looking in and smiling at the rest of us. Her hair - black, silky - was cut fashionably short.

“Hey Julie,” I said, with the awkward, feigned familiarity of meeting TV personalities, “thanks so much for having me on. I’m incredibly grateful for the opportunity.”

She gave an excited little squeak, like a teenager at a boyband concert. This was all feeling more and more like a big, sinister practical joke. Trick or god damn treat.

“Hearing you say my name is so surreal,” she said with a laugh - no, a giggle, “young me would have exploded at just the thought of it. You should know, I don’t normally do this, but with you I just couldn’t resist. You’ve been a hard man to track down, you know? Extraordinarily private, for a celebrity of your stature.”

I laughed back, acting like I was in on the gag.

“Yeah, well,” I said, “I have always been pretty low-key.”

“Are you a fan of the show?” She asked, clearly hoping the answer was yes. Julie reminded me of the kid in class who was always trying to impress the teacher - searching for some kind of validation from someone she perceived as an authority figure. You don’t get into this line of work unless validation is part of what drives you.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I thought about lying, about humouring her. It was only when I realised there might be a follow-up question that I decided to give her my slightly-sanitised version of the truth.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “but I don’t really watch much TV. But Sean, my agent, he told me this show was excellent, so I jumped at the chance to be a guest.”

Julie’s face fell slightly, as though my words had wounded her, but she stayed positive. Outwardly, at least.

“In that case, Travis, you are in for a real treat tonight,” she said, “I’ve got some great questions lined up, there’ll be a brief Q&A with some audience members - don’t worry, it’s all screened, so there won’t be any curveballs - and we’ll have a few fun little segments mixed in to break stuff up. Is this your first time doing a live TV interview? My researchers couldn’t find much footage of you online.”

“No, uh, this is my first time. I’m a little nervous, actually.”

She gave a friendly, comforting chuckle and patted me on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be just fine. You can pretend it’s only you and me, if that helps, but everyone out there loves you, Travis. They’ll be hanging off your every word.”

“I never knew The Red Weekend had such an ardent fanbase.” I said, trying to play off all the uncomfortable praise that seemed to be bombarding me from every angle.

Julie laughed again, as though I’d said something funny and missed it.

“Don’t be so modest, Travis, everyone remembers their first time watching The Red Weekend, it’s a rite of passage,” she said, walking towards the door, “if you need to do any last-minute psyching yourself up, now’s the time. You’ll be on in ten.”

The sudden, strange realness of it all hit me like a haymaker as Julie closed the door behind her. What the hell was I doing? I wasn’t an actor, not anymore, I designed logos for small businesses and occasionally made a poster or two. The freakish contrast between the world I’d known for the last two decades and the world I was being pulled back into was jarring. It barely felt like I had time to blink, when Michael, the rep, was knocking on the dressing room door.

“We’re ready for you now, Mr. Norton, do come out and join me. Recording will begin soon.”

I gulped down my final misgivings like cheap scotch, and gave a long sigh. It was now or never, but truth be told, even for fifteen grand, “never” was looking more attractive.

The set was, in a word, generic. A large red couch sat across from a wide desk, bearing the title “MIDNIGHT RENDEZVOUS” in large but tasteful lettering. The background was the standard plywood fare covered in a large facsimile of the L.A. Skyline up in lights. Julie sat at her desk, beaming, while a skinny warmup comedian stood centre stage, making anodyne jokes about West Hollywood traffic to the softly-laughing studio audience. They sat in near-darkness, compared to the bleached whiteness of the set, but the longer you looked at them, the more you could make out all their shapes.

I took a seat across from Julie, not wanting to upstage the comedian, but the second I entered the view of the audience I felt a hundred pairs of eyes pierce me. For whatever reason, I was the centre of attention.

“This will be over soon, and we’ll get started,” Julie said with a wink, “this might be my most anticipated episode. No pressure, though, you’re gonna nail it.”

The warmup comedian was finishing his set, his brow now dotted with glistening beads of sweat, like the damp patches glaring through his cheap suit. None of his stuff was particularly funny - all broad observations and reheated takes, the TV dinner of comedy. Most of all, he just seemed surprised and giddy to be there.

“Thank you!” He said, “you’ve been a wonderful audience, but now I’m gonna hand you over to Julie and Travis, who I hear have got an excellent show for you tonight! Have a happy and safe Halloween, guys!”

He laughed as the crowd cheered, and then started to head for the exit, when Julie called to him.

“Josh!” She called, “you did a great job, really awesome stuff. Would you mind sticking around a few minutes longer? There’s a few last little things we need to do.”

Josh nodded politely and returned to centre stage, delivering a few more inoffensive little quips to the crowd, and receiving small bouts of friendly laughter in return. I didn’t notice at first, but Michael the rep had appeared at Julie’s side, and I caught the tail end of their conversation.

“Is the perimeter secure?” She asked him.

“Yes, ma'am,” he replied, “we should be all good to go, when you’re ready.”

She nodded, and Michael disappeared backstage. Seeming to just arbitrarily come and go was Michael’s whole thing, I gathered, but before I could think about it any longer, Julie stood up and joined Josh, centre stage.

“It’s looking like we have a beautiful audience tonight!” She said, with the practiced, theatrical flair of someone who’d said this a million times, “and how appropriate, because I think tonight we may have my favourite guest of all time. Do I even have to say his name, folks?”

There was a cheer from the crowd. I gave an awkward smile, and Josh just stood there dumbly, next to Julie.

“I have been informed by the producers that all the perimeters are secure now,” she said, “so, with that in mind, it’s time to change.”

It happened so quickly, but it felt like it took a million years. The hue of Julie’s skin began to change from a pale pink to a deep, murky green, as her shape began to shift, bloat, and elongate. But, it wasn’t just Julie: the camera men, the stagehands, and the audience began changing too, all slowly warping themselves out of humanity and into something else entirely. Six claws, those big amphibian faces, those long, whipping tails and terrible jaws full of thousands of teeth.

If I wasn’t almost entirely sure it was all fake to begin with, I would have screamed until my lungs burned up into prunes in my chest cavity, but as it was I couldn’t summon a single sound. The host, the crew, the studio audience: they weren’t human, not even close. They were Pavlović’s monster. They were the Rugoba.

All of them except Josh, who stood next to the seven-foot-tall monster that Julie had become - still somehow wearing that sleek grey suit over her freakish new body. He was quaking in terror, only letting out occasional whimpers of fear. Both were standing in front of me, so I couldn’t get a good look at their faces, but beyond them I saw a legion of grinning Rugoba filling the stands. All here to see me.

“But, before we get this show on the road,” Julie said, her voice startlingly similar to when she still seemed human, “some free concessions for the first few rows. Remember to share!”

With a huge, clawed hand, Julie gave the quaking Josh a push. He pitched forwards, screaming, into the midst of the studio audience, and they set upon him in an instant with claws and teeth. Ripping, tearing, devouring. Those panicked yells soon just become bloody gurgles, and then nothing but the sounds of feasting, and of Julie’s laughter. When Josh’s head came away from what was left of his body, several Rugoba seemed to fight over its contents.

Had I not have been desensitised by spending my young adult years working in crappy, exploitative horror movies, I’d have thrown up. Instead, I just sat and watched, feeling like someone was taking a weed whacker to my soul. Human beings weren’t meant to witness things like this, and now, I was the only one here.

“Settle down, folks,” Julie said with a good-natured chuckle, “we’ll have more snacks distributed throughout the show. Everyone ready to begin? If you are, give me a big cheer!”

And she got one. The creatures that’d eaten a man alive a few seconds before just took their places, all looking as excited as their inhuman faces seemed to allow. The better part of me knew that I should have tried to run - I wasn’t paralysed by fear or anything like that, no, I just knew that if they were eating Josh but sparing me, there had to be a reason.

A Rugoba director, wearing an abnormally large headset to fit around his horns, called lights, camera, action.

What I assumed must have been the theme tune began to play, as Julie turned to me, a look of confusion spread against her wide, froglike face.

“Why haven’t you changed, Travis?” She asked.

That’s when it all hit me: why I was here, what all this was about. Pavlović - that mad, genius son of a bitch - his makeup job wasn’t just good, it was utterly flawless, a perfect representation of a creature his family always knew truly existed. The costume was so good, it even fooled Julie and the others. For all these years, they genuinely thought I was one of them.

“I can’t.” I said, without thinking.

“Why?” She asked in a harsh whisper.

I could tell the theme song was drawing to a close, and I needed to spin good enough bullshit to not get eaten by a talk show host. It wasn’t my best work, in hindsight, but what I said was:

“I’m a method actor, and I’m playing a human in my next role. I don’t want to compromise the integrity of the character.”

What I expected was getting a face full of gnashing monster teeth, but no, Julie just laughed and smiled at me. As the theme song played its last few notes, I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing she’d bought it. And with the audience’s undivided attention, Julie began her little monologue.

“Welcome, welcome, welcome to the good people at home! You know me, I’m Julie Forrester, and this is Midnight Rendezvous - the most popular talk show on Rugoba TV!” She said, before presenting her middle claw to the camera, “so pogo on that, Morning Chitchat. And boy, do we have a special guest for you tonight, folks, a guest quite unlike any other. You know him, you love him, it’s the one and only Mr. Travis Norton!”

The studio audience exploded into deafening cheers and applause, like none I’d ever heard in my lifetime. The response was so overwhelming, I nearly forgot I’d just seen them all eat an innocent man alive.

Julie walked back and squeezed herself behind the desk, making it look comically child-sized now.

“Now, Travis, I’m thrilled to have you on.” She said, leaving a pause for me.

“I’m thrilled to be on,” I said, my voice quivering, “sorry, I’m not used to all this attention. It’s a little overwhelming.”

She laughed again, and said, “now, in many ways, you’re a guest that needs no introduction - but I’m gonna introduce you anyway, because that’s how I make my living.”

The crowd laughed, and I decided to join in. Slime was dripping in liberal dollops from Julie’s massive jaws, coating the top of the desk. It’s a miracle I didn’t relieve my bowels just looking at her.

“I know I’ve been a fan of you for a long, long time, Travis. Having a Rugoba celebrity on the show is nothing new, of course, we’ve had plenty here: Björk, Kanye West, Ryan Reynolds…but Travis, you, to this day, are the only Rugoba in living memory who’s had the guts to show their true form on film,” she said, a genuine note of pride in her voice, “and I think that deserves another round of applause, don’t you, folks?”

More applause, and I forced a smile. It was becoming clear to me that this whole thing was just a tightrope act: I was a folk hero to them for now, but the second they realised I wasn’t one of them, I’d be devoured, just like Josh. In that moment, I wished that Richard Upton Pavlović was alive again, so I could have a go at beating him to death myself.

“If you’re wondering why Travis is looking so tasty tonight, folks, it’s because - and this is a Midnight Rendezvous exclusive - he’s going to be starring in a new movie soon. How exciting?” Julie said, playing up every word for the eager crowd of monsters just beyond the edge of the set, “he’s a method actor, so he’s trying to stay in character. Can you tell us a little about the film, Travis?”

Great. I was on the spot again, one lie leading to another. A good piece of advice to take to heart is that when you’re already in a hole, it’s best to stop digging, but I was already half way to China.

“It’s called Mirrors: Reflecting,” I said, completely pulling it out of my ass, “it’s a comedy-drama about a has-been actor who ends up getting way in over his head in a situation he doesn’t understand. It’s in pre-production.”

“Oooooh,” Julie said, “sounds exciting. Now, I’ll start with the question I think we’ve all been thinking since we first saw The Red Weekend: how did you find the willpower to never eat any of your co-stars?”

The general rule seemed to be that anything I found morally repugnant would get a big laugh out of the crowd. The Rugoba sense of humour seemed to be mainly based around terrible things happening to humans, so I chose my words as carefully as I could, given the circumstances.

“It’s, uh, it’s all about self-control,” I said, “you’ve just gotta tell yourself to stay in the professional zone, and that you can’t eat any of them, because it’ll, uh, compromise the production.”

“God,” Julie said, “check out this guy here, making me feel like a slob. You’ve gotta give me the number of your dietician after this, Trav. I ate mine last week.”

I laughed out of politeness, but I genuinely wasn’t sure whether it was a joke or not. For my own sanity, I chose to believe the former. The crowd found it hilarious, either way.

“Did any of your co-stars know the truth? You know, about who you really are?” She asked.

“No,” I cut in, worrying that revealing the truth would be a secret death sentence, “those dumb humans believed it was all just makeup. You know what people are like, easy to trick.”

Julie slammed a claw down on the slimy desktop and gave an over-the-top laugh.

“So true, Travis, so true!” She cackled, “in fact, half of the folks at home are probably enjoying a trick or treater as we speak. Halloween, what a holiday, it’s like getting free home delivery - and they bring your dessert in a bag with them! So considerate - who says humans aren’t good for anything?”

How many of these things were there? How many facets of society had they invaded, if they had their own TV shows? Sean said this show went out live to millions of viewers, and surely not all of them would be watching. There must have been Rugoba everywhere.

“Now, a couple more serious questions, before we get to the fun stuff,” she said, licking the slobber off her fangs with a long, purple tongue, “your filmography has some strange gaps. You get plenty of work in the eighties, and a little going into the nineties, but then a huge episode of silence until now. Why the return to film?”

It probably shouldn’t have rattled me, given what was going on, but it did. Somehow, the fear of failure ran even deeper than the fear of monsters, and Julie had opened the floodgates.

“It’s not been for lack of trying,” I said with a laugh that undermined my sadness, “it’s hard to make a good living as an actor. Unless you’re an A-lister, chances are you’ve probably got a second job on the side to make ends meet while you try to live out your dreams. I’m a graphic designer in my spare time. Just lately, I got lucky, and was offered another big break. It wasn’t what I expected, but I’m trying to play it out as best I can.”

The crowd gave a sympathetic “awwww” that felt good in spite of them being a horde of carnivorous beasts. Julie seemed similarly sympathetic, looking at me with those big, black shark-eyes that somehow communicated a warm depth of compassion you couldn’t imagine coming from a creature like her.

“Well,” she said, trying to reclaim the room, “I’m sure I speak for everyone in this room when I say that we’re glad you’re getting work again, Travis, you’re a talent like no other. That’s why I thought I’d get you a fun little Halloween treat.”

All the lights around us began to dim, as several excited “oooooohs” issues forth from the crowd. I could hear sudden movement backstage, and the scraping of metal against metal.

“But,” Julie said with glee, standing up from her desk and trotting to centre stage, “one person’s treat is another person’s trick, quid pro quo, that’s the way the world goes. Travis isn’t the only special guest we’ve got tonight, courtesy of some fine work from our producers.”

A group of Rugoba in dark uniforms dragged a huddled, chained figure onto the stage. He’d been either beaten or drugged, but whatever the case, the guy was totally out of it. Half-naked, covered in scratches where his handlers had been too rough. It’d been so long, but after a moment or two, I recognised who it was.

Ian Barker, my old Red Weekend co-star.

“As you all know,” Julie said, addressing the crowd, “the one blemish marring the perfection of The Red Weekend is the downer ending. The rest of it is such an uplifting story of Rugoba conquering and devouring humankind, as nature intended, until the character played by our new guest Ian Barker here slays our champion!”

The crowd entered a state of vicious booing, all directed at Ian, who was too dazed to even respond. He remained on his knees, with a heavy metal collar bound around his neck.

“But, today, as a Midnight Rendezvous Halloween special, we’re going to right that wrong, folks!” She said with a laugh of shrill, sadistic excitement, “our dear friend of the show, Travis Norton, will devour Ian Barker live for you and the folks at home, and all the wrongs will be right again. Is everyone excited?”

As the volume of the cheering went up, my heart sank. Before I could even think to stop myself, or formulate a plan, I was up on my feet and charging towards Julie with an excuse.

“Julie, you don’t understand,” I pleaded, “I have to stay in character, I need to seem human.”

Julie scoffed and shook her head - more for the audience than me.

“What? Humans eat other humans all the time! Jeffrey Dahmer, Andrei Chikatilo, and a whole bunch of others,” she said, “you don’t even need to change back. The producers got you this handy little tool.”

A fourteen-pound framing hammer was forced into my hands, crushing my last attempt at an excuse. Everyone but Ian was looking at me, as I stood there with the hammer, all grinning and egging me on with their eyes.

“You only have to eat some of the brains, it’s the best part anyway,” Julie said, “I’d hate to break you too far from character.”

Then the chanting began: kill, kill, kill. I don’t know who started it, but now there was no stopping it, not until I’d made up my mind. I gripped the hammer, hard, and looked at the back of Ian’s head. If I fessed up, and told the truth, would they kill him and me anyway? Did it make more sense to just kill him and get it over with, then try to live with the guilt afterwards?

Maybe it did make more sense. But that’s not what I did.

“Stop! I yelled, the hammer clattering to the ground, "and please listen!”

The room fell silent, and Julie started looking at me like she knew something terrible was about to happen.

“I have a confession,” I said, “you’re not gonna like it, but you have to listen to me, and hear me out. I’m not one of you, okay? I’m not a Rugoba. I’m a human being, it was all a big god damn lie.”

Julie stared at me, devastated, and said “wait, Travis, what do you mean? The Red Weekend…”

“The Red Weekend is a shitty movie that ruined my life!” I blurted out without thinking, “it was all special effects makeup, none of it was real. The guy just knew about you, somehow, and you’re what he based his design on. I was never a Rugoba. I’m sorry for misleading you all like this, it’s just a huge misunderstanding.”

In an instant, the crowd devolved from low, worried murmurs to riotous shouting. Julie tried in vain to comfort the yelling crowd, to stop them baying for my blood, but it was too late. I’d taken one of their greatest living legends, and torn it apart in front of them. I’d gone from being a hero to the devil himself.

Running was the first thing on my mind, but before the thought even properly formed, something had struck the back of my head - and everything went black.

***

When I finally came to, I was staring out of thick, iron bars into the furious amphibian face of Julie Forrester. The room was dark, so I could barely see beyond her, staring into the cage and mugging at me. She’d lost her grey suit, and was wearing a white outfit with a skirt instead, her whipping tail protruding from the back, lashing at the air.

“I bet you feel really clever right now, Travis, well done,” she said, her voice devoid of the lightness and humour I’d known it for, “you made me look like an absolute clown on my own show. I trusted you, I invited you on, and you just humiliated me.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, my thoughts still returning in brief snatches, “I really am, Julie, I didn’t mean for it to happen like that. Aside from the whole ‘eating humans’ thing, I like you as a person. I wouldn’t want your credibility to take a hit.”

She ran her claws across the bars of the cage, and shook her head.

“Too little, too late, I’m afraid,” she said, “but you can still make it up to me, in other ways.”

“I want to, Julie, I really do.”

Julie pulled back from the bars a little and seemed to pace around the cage, her footsteps heavy and wet, but as regular as the ticking of a clock’s pendulum. It’d drive you mad if you listened for long enough.

“What you said earlier about the entertainment industry is true, Travis, even if the rest was all lies,” she said, her tone gravely seriously, “if you want to make a good living, one job won’t cut it. You need to be a real polymath to put bread on the table. Thankfully, I’m a Rugoba of all trades: Midnight Rendezvous is just one of the shows I host.”

“What’s the other one?” I asked, out of morbid curiosity.

She stopped, pressed her terrible amphibian face against the bars, and grinned.

“You’ll see,” she said, “you’ll see real soon, Travis. I’m gonna make you into something so much better…”

As Julie started to walk away from the cage, one by one the studio lights began to turn back on, cracking into life. The couch and L.A. backdrop was replaced by a homely-looking kitchen, fitted with a gorgeous array of utensils and hardware. Julie produced from the front pocket of the white apron she was wearing a long and magnificent chef’s hat, and placed it onto her huge, slimy head.

The words “COOKING WITH JULIE!” were emblazoned across the front of her kitchen unit.

My fear had already passed, all that remained now was that kind of dissonant, slaughterhouse calm that sets in when you already know you’re finished. All that’s left to do is wait. But, I took a strange comfort in knowing that this Halloween night The Red Weekend would finally be coming to an end.

I closed my eyes and exhaled, as the director called “lights, camera, action.”