#women do not actually want me for my bee earring

[leqonsluv3r]

picnic date with Leon 🥺

love

re2!leon kennedy x f!reader

— a oneshot (request)

warnings: so much fluff it’s kinda gross, a little touching, mentions of sex, reader is female and uses (she/her) pronouns, leon is the best boyfriend ever and we love him for that, no physical description of reader except that she has hair, pet names (baby, sweet girl, etc.) based heavily on love by lana del rey (leon is lana coded bc i say so).

“she didn’t know what else to expect to her already worse work week, besides the papers that always seemed to pile up on her desk and swarm her like a colony of hungry bees. she hated her job, wanted to slap her boss and her co-workers. so how could this week get any worse? she thinks it will when her phone buzzes with a text from leon, only to find out if she wants to go on a picnic date this weekend. suddenly, her week just got better by a thousand percent.”

— or reader is having a terrible week and leon decides to spoil his favorite girl

an: thank you for the request, i loved writing something that wasn’t pure smut for once. did include a little seggsy tho (i can’t resist). gave my overworked brain a little vacation lol. i took your idea and ran with it, hope you enjoy <3

masterlist taglist

she actually hated her boss. hated him.

aside from spilling coffee on herself this morning before she left for the office, she had a thousand reports on her desks and emails flooding her work inbox. her boss went on a rant about her work performance and the fact that he was almost using his superiority as a manager to make her feel belittled was enough to send her blood pumping through her veins.

but mindlessly, she tried to get through her day. taking deep breaths and trying not to freak out on her boss. only did her day get worse when she overheard gossip in the break room.

“i hear she’s like some prude. her boyfriend only touches her when he’s drunk.”

she listens in on the gossip, pouring herself some coffee that hopefully won’t make its way onto her pencil skirt again. she wondered who they could possibly be talking about so openly in the middle of the day in the break room.

the other voice goes on, one of her coworkers that she knew from working here so many years, “that’s not true. i know her personally. she told me she’s waiting for marriage.”

her ears perk up at this, all the blood draining from her face, she knew they were talking about her now. her worst fears have been confirmed. she should’ve never stupidly trusted someone she worked with to keep such information about her relationship with leon, private.

she felt so stupid. but they kept going and she kept listening. the other women who she didn’t know opened her mouth again, “still, how much of a prude do you have to be to wait until marriage? like just fuck and get it over with already. unless he’s ugly…”

she feels anger rise in her like tsunami. leon? ugly? he could never be ugly. he was so fucking beautiful. how could this random woman even say that about her and her relationship without even knowing her? she kept her back turned and waited for the coworker she was more familiar with to say something.

“he’s actually quite a looker. shame she got her hands on him, if i had a man like that. i would fuck him until he couldn’t see straight.” she fisted her porcelain coffee cup with white knuckles, almost fuming and waiting for steam to pour out of her ears. jesus, she wanted to smack this woman silly, she considered them friends and now she was just so openly bragging to another woman of the company…that she wanted to fuck her boyfriend of two years.

she fumed and briskly left the break room with her coffee, slamming the door to the room shut behind her as she briskly walked back to her office, trying to keep up a demeanor that was professional and meanwhile she was seething on the inside.

she finally reached her office and went inside, slamming the door as she rounded her desk and sat her cup of coffee down on it. she leaned her elbows on her desk, burying her hands into her hands.

she wanted to cry, this week had been terrible and today was one of the worst out of all of them. and she needed to manage to get through it until after tomorrow.

thanking god it was thursday, one more day and she wouldn’t have to think of this place for a solid 48 hours. she took shaky breaths, trying to calm herself so she didn’t cry at her desk at work. she was still fuming from hearing that conversation in the break room about her personal life.

eventually, her phone buzzed on her desk and she looked down at her phone. she sighs and shakes her head, praying it’s not another report or upset client. she can’t handle anymore of that today, or this week for that matter.

she grabs her phone and looks at the contact, it was leon, she sighs in relief and smiles as she opens the text thread, looking at the screen.

LEON <3 : hey baby, just wanted to check in on my break. hope your doing okay, know it’s been a rough one for u.

besides wanting to cry at my desk all morning. first my boss says my reports are useless and utter shit. then i hear two of my coworkers gossiping in the break room about me like it’s no big deal. i hate this place, this week has sucked :(

LEON <3 : whoa, what? oh my god. are you okay? i know that’s so stupid to ask considering everything u just told me but…god. i’m so sorry.

no, i’m humiliated. i feel like stabbing my eyes out with my pencils at my desk. i hate this place, i hate everyone. minus u ofc <3

but seriously, i can’t wait to get through tomorrow and just be done with this place. even if it’s for two days.

LEON <3 : hmmm, that reminds me. do you still plan on coming over on friday night?

uhhh, yeah. considering i haven’t seen you all week. unless your canceling on me. which just makes me wanna cry more :,)

LEON <3 : oh god no, fuck that. i would never cancel on you baby. i just have an idea. and i was wondering if you would like it, considering how stressful and overwhelming your week has been.

i’m listening….

LEON <3 : you still come over on friday night, you pack a change of clothes and we go for a picnic on saturday. i know a good spot. and plus, im a good cook.

you don’t have to…

LEON <3 : but i WANT too. i wanna make my girl happy after having such an awful week. you need this baby. don’t bother arguing with me >:)

fineeee i suppose i could pack an overnight bag, stay the whole weekend at your place. go on a little picnic and ACTUALLY enjoy myself for once.

LEON <3 : that’s the spirit my love :). don’t worry, i’ll take care of you this weekend. don’t stress and don’t worry. trust in your amazing boyfriend ;)

you are an amazing boyfriend. don’t let that boost your already enormous ego though lol. god, i miss you so much. i can’t wait to see you. :,)

LEON <3 : you only have a little less then 48 hours to go before you see my handsome face again. don’t worry your pretty head baby, i’ll make you forget all about this week. spoil the absolute shit out of you. <3

okay, i gotta get back to work before my boss comes in to belittle me some more about phone usage at work :,). i’ll see you soon babe, i love you.

LEON <3 : see you soon beautiful girl, i love you too. gotta go bust some criminals lol. ttyl :)

she sighs in content, a lovesick grin on her features. she felt so much better, just talking to him through text even. it was enough to make her heart swell with love and forget all about the incidents this week.

she couldn’t wait to see him on friday night, then go on a picnic on saturday like he promised. she needed him like air sometimes. and he had been pulling shifts so frequently at the station that she barely ever saw him.

it sucked, yes. but when they did get to see each other it was absolutely worth it. she knew that he was gonna stay true to his word like he always did. make her happy, spoil her and make her forget all about her sucky week at work.

she loved him so much, it was almost consuming sometimes. overwhelming to think that before she met him two years ago, she had never known love or that men like him could even exist.

god, she was praying for this weekend to come sooner. and hopefully, it would.

eventually she made it to friday, she managed to get through the day, working as hard as she could. she dealt with clients, dodged the lecturing of her boss and the gossiping of her coworkers.

she slipped out early, not really giving a fuck because all her work was finished as far as she was concerned. she had better places to be. like leon’s apartment for example.

she had packed an overnight bag that morning, watered her plants and made sure she had everything. she had kept her overnight bag stored in her car just so when she got off work, she could head straight over.

she sent him a text that she was off and she was heading over early, putting the car in reverse and leaving her works parking lot.

she drove down the familiar streets and roads until she made it to leon’s apartment, parking her car in the guest parking spot. she got out, grabbing her overnight bag and everything else she needed as she locked the car behind her.

she walked over to the gate to enter the complex, typing in the numbers and once it buzzed, she opened it and let herself in. she made her way up to the second floor, walking over to where his apartment was. she slipped her key to his apartment, unlocking the door and slipping off her shoes.

“baby? you home?” she calls out as she drops her overnight bag by her shoes, dropping her keys on the coffee table. she looks around, she feels a buzzing in her hand where her phone is. she looks at the text from leon saying he was on his way home from his shift.

she sighed and looked around his apartment, looking down at the coffee table where she sat her keys in front of his couch. she saw something sticking out from in between the pages of a book he was reading. “what the…?” she opened the book and looked in the book.

a piece of paper with scribbled writing over it, leon’s from what she recognized. she started to read the crumpled up piece of paper.

[READER],

ever since i’ve known you, i’ve loved you. i’ve never wanted anyone more then i’ve wanted you. i’m not just doing this in the hopes you’ll say yes, i’m doing this with the intention that you’ll let me love you for as long as we’re both alive.

i’m not doing it like this to be cliche, i know how much you think im corny. how hard i try to make sure you’re not laughing at me (even though i love your laugh more than anything.) i want you to know that i love you. i always have, i always will.

with that, will you please do me the honor of being my wife?

it would be my greatest achievement as man, as your boyfriend and future husband if you’ll let me.

she feels her eyes well up with subtle tears, wiping at her eyes as she looked down at the crumpled up notebook paper with a small smile, even though the letter didn’t say much, it said enough.

this was just more then a simple picnic, she knew now. why he was so keen on taking care of her this weekend. taking her out for a picnic tomorrow. she can’t believe he wanted to marry her, she wasn’t shocked but she was…she wanted to cry. it was almost like a dream come true.

she was about to re-read the note to make sure she wasn’t dreaming until she heard the lock on his front door click. she scrambled to put the crumpled up piece of paper back into the book where she found it, effectively slipping it in and standing up straight just in time as he entered the door.

“hey, honey.” he says with a small smile, kicking off his shoes. he wore his police uniform still, all pristine in pale blue and navy. she swallowed and wiped at her eyes, “hey.” she shuffles towards him and wraps her arms tightly around him.

he noticed the sniffling and the watery eyes, he craned his neck down to look at her face that was pressed into his chest, rubbing his hands up and down her back in a soothing gesture.

“are you okay? your eyes are red.” he says softly, his voice dripping with such concern it just almost made her heart melt in her chest. she nods and squeezes her arms tighter around him, “i’m okay. i just missed you.” she lies a little, she did miss him, but that wasn’t the true reason for the red eyes.

“okay, baby. it’s okay though, we’re gonna have a good weekend and your not even gonna think about work.” he says softly as he continues to rub her back up and down in a gentle gesture, smiling down at her with a soft grin. she nods, “okay, i’d like that.” she says with her cheek pressed against his chest, sniffling.

she knew she wouldn’t think about work, work was the furthest thing from her mind right now. the only thing on her mind was the picnic tomorrow and the note she had found.

she knew he was going to purpose, she wasn’t even trying to snoop, but now she knew. she loved him even more for it. if that was even possible.

the next day, the morning light would peak through the curtains of leon’s bedroom window. it casted both of them in a glow that was more then just a simple glow of the morning but a new day.

she loves waking up beside him, especially today when the promises of their future hang right over her head. a promise that he’s intending to keep.

she rolls over onto him as he lays on his back, giggling as she does. she presses a small kiss to his chest and then makes a path up to his collarbone, pressing a kiss to his neck. she felt herself growing more aroused by the minute.

she wasn’t a virgin, she had dated plenty of shitty guys before leon. and it isn’t like she didn’t not want to have sex with him, they just decided to wait until marriage. but now that she knew he was going to purpose today, she forgot all about that little promise she made with him.

she presses her lips to his jaw, hearing him mumble something sleepily as she grins against his skin. she leans towards his ear, “wake up.” she mumbles as she moves her hips to sit on his covered dick in his boxers beneath the sheets. her panty clad frame gently moving her hips lightly against his as she adjusts.

she feels him slightly move again, moving in his sleep so she moves her hips more firmly on him again, feeling him grow harder against the fabric that separated them. he mumbles something and she pulls her face out of his neck, bracing her palms flat on his chest.

he slowly opens his blue eyes to meet hers, his dirty blonde hair messily on the pillow. she smiles down at him with a small grin, “morning sleeping beauty.” she chuckles as she leans down to his face and presses a kiss to his lips.

his half-asleep frame is still waking up and trying to wrap his mind around everything. “what are you doing?” he chuckles with a lazy opening and closing of his blue eyes.

“what does it look like im doing?” she says with a small smirk, moving her hips again. he had no idea where this was coming from, they had agreed to wait until marriage and now…

she was straddling his waist, her wet core on top of his morning wood, there were the barriers between them but still, he could feel everything. she tilts her head innocently at him, his blue eyes looking up at her, “why are you so…? what’s gotten into you?” he says with a small furrow of his brows as he leans up on the bed, his elbows propped up behind him.

she bites her lip and looks at him, “why am i what?” she says as she bats her eyelashes at him, feigning innocence. he struggles and takes a shaky breath, “why are you like…all over me? like, we didn’t…i thought you wanted to wait.” he manages to get out with another shaky inhale.

she sighs and rubs her palms over his chest, “i want you, i’ve waited long enough. married or not, i want you.” she says with a small look, letting his blue eyes latch onto hers. she needed him to know she was serious, that this mattered.

she knew he was going to purpose soon anyways, so what was the big deal? that’s what she thought anyways. she didn’t see it as this huge thing, it would be their first time together. but…she was ready.

“unless…your not?” she says with a small sigh as she looks down at him, her palms pressed flat on his bare chest as she looked down at him. he shook his head so fast, his hair flopping as he did, “no, i want it.” he replies as he looks up into her eyes.

“anything that you want from me, i wanna be able to give it to you. even this.” she hears him say as his blue eyes never stray from his gaze on her. she smiles widely and sniffles, “god, i love you.” she whispers as she leans down and presses a kiss to his lips.

it starts slow, his hands holding onto her waist as the kiss grows more intense and passionate. her hips moving against his erection. she doesn’t fear it now, not when she knows what will happen.

not when she can trust him. she knows he’s different, he’s not like the others. she wants to give him all of her, every single part. she wants to give him marriage, her soul, her body. she wants him to have it all.

so as the kisses and the touches escalate, she feels herself trusting in him, letting his love consume her body and mind in a way she had never known before. his kisses were like rain, falling on her skin and soaking there. his touch was like fire, spreading over her body.

it was beautiful, she couldn’t wait to have him with her forever.

the picnic was beautiful.

leon, really knew how to make her forget about her shitty work week. whether it be a picnic, their first time having sex together earlier that morning, or the proposal that has yet to happen.

he really outdid himself. just like he promised, he had cooked and packed a lunch for them by a small pond in a park. it was about a 20 minute drive from his place, how she never knew it was there, she had no idea.

it was beautiful, some swans were in the pond swimming around with their babies, made her smile and think of how leon had made this so perfect without even trying. he spread out a blanket for them, sitting the food down in the picnic basket.

she brushes her hands over her purple sundress, looking at him as he sat down and began to spread out the food for them. “wow, baby. you really thought of everything didn’t you?” she chuckles as she sits down next to him on the picnic blanket.

“of course, anything for my girl.” he says with a sweet smile in her direction as he gets wine out of the basket and two glasses. my girl…jesus, if he’s trying to make me melt, it’s working. she thinks as she watches him uncork the wine bottle, and pour them both red wine into the glasses.

“i know, you spoil me, leon. but still…” she trails off as she looks over at him, she reaches over the blanket and grabs onto his hand. she watches as the subtle breeze blows his dirty blonde hair over his blue eyes and his forehead.

he rolls his eyes playfully and scoots closer to her on the blanket, squeezing her hand back. “don’t argue with me. it’s in your best interest.” he says with a small lopsided smirk as he hands her one of the glasses of wine. she accepts and smiles back at him, sipping on the wine in her free hand.

“fine. i won’t.” she says with a small roll of her eyes, grinning at him as she swallowed the wine. letting it slide down her throat. they stayed in silence for a while, just enjoying the sounds of nature, the breeze that blowed softly and made the leaves rustle in the trees above them.

she let him dote on her a little more, still feeling that anxious bubbling in her stomach that had been occurring since last night. the note, the proposal that had yet to happen. she felt her body get amped up and she was trying not to give her hopes up.

she sipped on her wine, looking over at him as he stared off into the pond a little ways in front of them. she admired him like this, when he wasn’t looking at her. he was deep in thought, in his head and she could almost see the gears turning in his mind.

“thank you, leon.” she says as she snaps out of her daze of staring at him. she didn’t think she could ever not want to stare, admire him like a piece of art in a museum. he lets his head turn her way, looking directly at her, a gentle smile on his boyish features.

“no need to thank me. i wanted to do something special for you.” he says as he reaches across the blanket and rubs his hand over her bare knee. she nods and swallows more nerves, “i don’t need to thank you, but im going to anyways.” she giggles.

he just shakes his head with a teasing grin on his face, he doesn’t mind this. sitting here with her and knowing where it’s going. he almost feels like this can’t be real, sitting here with her. the weather’s perfect and this day is even better.

they continue to just sit together on the picnic blanket, eating and sipping on their wine. they just talk and snuggle up next to each other on the blanket.

eventually the sun starts to set, painting the sky in a beautiful pink and red hue. it almost looks like a painting and she watches it with almost admiration. he knows this is the time, the ring in his pocket burning a hole through his jeans.

she keeps her gaze trained on the sky, not even noticing that he’s staring at her with admiration. he swallows his fears, his nerves and everything that could potentially stop him from doing this.

“your so beautiful, you know that?” he starts as he looks over her features. her gaze only temporarily looking over at him, a blush coating her cheeks. this isn’t how he had planned it, but he’s gonna do this differently.

“of course you know that, i tell you all the time how amazing, beautiful and sweet you are. even to people who don’t deserve your kindness.” he says as his blue eyes stay trained on her, she smiles and bites her lip in bashfulness.

she knows something is happening, but she lets it happen. she doesn’t care…not if it’s a promise to make her happy for the rest of their lives.

“your the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he continues as he looks at her, turning his body a little towards her on the picnic blanket. the ring feels like an anchor in his pocket, keeping him tethered to the moment here with her.

“and i don’t think i’ll ever find anyone better then you, that’s honesty. your the best that’s ever going to happen to me.” he says as he looks deep into her eyes, her eyes blinking back at him as she feels her heart start to pound in her ribcage.

“and i would be a fucking fool if i went on another two years and didn’t show you how much you mean to me.” he says as he fists the ring in his pocket. she feels her heart swell and her eyes water. the smile spreading on her face is the rare kind.

“what are you…?” she says with a small look of disbelief on her face, her smile widening and the crystal of her eyes staring back at him.

he smiles with a small blink of his blue eyes that are now crystallizing over as well, he pulls his palm out of his pocket, opening it up between them to brandish a engagement ring.

she blinks her tears away, raising a hand over her mouth, trying to somewhat hide her shock. “leon…” she looks between the ring in his palm and then his eyes. this was much better then what was written on that crumpled sheet of paper.

“i love you so fucking much, i would do anything for you, to you and with you. only if you’ll let me, forever. please marry me. let me love you forever, let me wake up to you every morning. it would be the greatest honor i could ever have.” he says as he gestures the ring in his outstretched palm.

he looks at her with hopeful and love filled eyes as he does this. she doesn’t even have words, she expected it. but not like this…

this was definitely better.

and he was the love of her life, she couldn’t say no to him, not in a million years. she couldn’t dream of turning him down. of declining his proposal because he’s her happiness. even from two years ago when they met to now…

her body and mind want him the same, love him the same. she knows it will never change. not when it comes to him and just everything he does for her.

“yes…” she says as she sniffles away tears, feeling the breeze in the park billow her hair. the swans swimming idly in the pond in front of them. the sun setting in a beautiful sunset that paints the sky. he blinks at her, he doesn’t think he heard her right for a second.

“did you say…?” she laughs and looks at him, “i said yes. i’ll marry you.” she says as she feels more tears leak down her flushed cheeks. he smiles widely and grabs her hand shakily, his face coated in tears of happiness too.

he slips the ring onto her ring finger and strokes his thumb over her knuckles. he slides his free hand up to cup her jaw, rubbing the tears that slid from her eyes. “oh god, i love you.” he says in a trance as he looks at her.

“i love you too.” she says back to him, catching him in his trance of looking at her. she feels the ring on her ring finger, making its home there. she feels like she’s on cloud nine right now. he pulls her face towards him and presses a kiss to her lips.

she returns it and kisses him back, her hand, now ring clad, holds onto his face as she deepens the kiss. she doesn’t think she could ever be happier then she was right now.

in this moment with him. not a thing matters and her mind and body are full of him. she feels so consumed by him and his love that she can’t even explain it.

she’ll be wrapped in him forever and she can’t bring herself to care if she is. because at least she’s happy, happy and in love.

forever.

leons letter:

taglist: @heartsforvin

(go to this post to join the taglist, pls reblog and follow for more, my asks are open in my bio. i love you all <3)

[goldenlikedayl1ght]

peace - m. murdock

a/n: hi guys! missed you. desperately wanted to write more hoh!reader, so i did it. this can be read on it's own, OR it can be read as a part two to my fic, 'the lakes', which you can read here! feedback always appreciated! <3 warnings: so much damn fluff, suggestive behaviors, like literally tooth rotting fluff! mentions of some abelism but nothing actually happens it's just sort of mentioned. matt hates buffalo chicken pizza, the cold hurts readers ears, also a lot of kissin' and tinnitus because of course there is. word count: 3.0k summary: tinnitus, buffalo chicken pizza, and objections. what more can you ask for from matt murdock? paring: matt murdock x hoh!reader now playing: peace - taylor swift "the devils in the details/but you got a friend in me/would be enough if i could never give you peace?"

There are things that no one teaches you about dating.  

There are things that no one teaches you about dating Matt Murdock, a blind man.

There are things that no one teaches you about dating Matt Murdock, a blind man, who has super senses and is also a vigilante.

There are things that no one teaches you about dating Matt Murdock, a blind man, who has super senses and is also a vigilante… while also being deaf.

As you lost your hearing, you knew dating would be difficult. That was never a secret. Your first girlfriend after you started wearing hearing aids once hid them from you as a punishment after an argument. Safe to say that relationship didn’t last long.

One time, you went on a date with a guy who asked in the middle of your dinner, ‘Could you please take off your headphones? It’s cool that they’re Bluetooth but it’s really rude.’ You did not make it to dessert.

Then there was the time that your ex-boyfriend thought you were talking about him in ASL to your mom in front of him. You broke up with him soon after.

And Matt has experienced his fair share of ableism in dating too—Women who thought they could get away with stealing from him because he was blind, or that thought that he just had to have a service dog, and he’d be so cute with one.

So, when you started dating each other, things were obviously different. You weren’t sure how, but the idea of dating another person with a disability never occurred to you. Maybe it was because of how often you found people playing oppression Olympics, a classic game of ‘who has it worse?’ a game you had no interest in playing.

And the struggles you and Matt have in your relationship are never ones represented in rom-coms or in romantic novels. Dating any blind man would have been hardly represented but Matt, with his charm and heightened senses, was completely uncharted waters. And yet, you dive in headfirst.

One of the most romantic things Matt does for you within the first six months of your relationship happens on a cold February day. Winter in New York isn’t over until at least March, so you walk home from work, arm in arm. You decide to stop in for Thai food but decide to stand outside in favor of in the crowded restaurant where Matt would be hearing too many things and you wouldn’t be hearing nearly enough.

But he notices, as he often does, how you squirm in discomfort, waiting for time to pass. Though you do not show it in your face, he hears it in the way you breath deeply to try and relax through whatever it is that’s bothering you. He notices the grip on his arm tightening, even just a bit.

“What’s wrong, bee?” You’re never getting over your fondness for the nickname. But you stay quiet for a second, because you know he can tell if you’re lying.

“My ears hurt.” You hate saying it, because you feel like it’s all you do—yap about your ears and how much they hurt. They hurt from talking on the phone and holding it up to your ear for so long. They hurt from being in loud environments like parties and bars. But dear god, do they hurt right now. And you know exactly why.

“Oh, is it too loud? We could move to a different spot,” he says softly but you shake your head.

“Uh.. No. It’s cold. The cold is bothering my ears.” You explain, and he just nods. But before he can respond, you continue, “They’re in pain when it’s cold and earmuffs don’t do anything except block out sound and I can’t hear anyways, negating the point of my hearing aids.” You’ve tried earmuffs time and time again. And usually, you’d just wear a beanie or something, but you forgot yours.

So, Matt thinks for a moment, before tucking his cane under his arm, before lifting his hands to come up to your face. The heel of his hand comes up to rest against your cheeks while the length of his fingers gently cup around your ears. He’s not pressing down, making it harder to hear, but your ears are immediately warmer. Matt’s hands—and well, everything, are naturally very warm and the leather gloves he has on makes it even more so.

Your face flushes, as you lean into his touch. What a man you have found yourself. You stay like this for a little while, until your food is ready. Your face turns and you plant a gentle kiss to the palm of his hand.

As you leave the restaurant after grabbing your food, you want to say one more thing. Just quickly.

“Thanks for helping, by the way.. I’m sorry I constantly complain about my ears.” You tell him, and he just gets this goofy grin on his face.

“At least you’re not blind. That would suck.” He links his arm with yours. You just laugh, leaning against him.

“Shut up,” and at this request, he scoffs.

“You love listening to me talk, it’s one of your favorite things ever!” he defends.

You just grin because your boyfriend can tell when you’re lying. And you know anything other than telling him that what he said was true would be the biggest lie you ever told.

...

It’s not all sunshine and rainbows with Matt, though.

Okay, maybe that’s sort of dramatic. Neither of you are particularly violent nor angry, but one time you get really heated.

Your time working with Nelson, Murdock & Page is wonderful, and because it’s just the four of you, often, you wind up getting lunch together. Someone runs out, grabs food, and you all sit in the conference room, talk and eat.

But today, you barely made it to lunch.

“Where do you guys wanna eat today?” Foggy asks, leaning against your doorway. He knows Matt can hear him from wherever, but you need him to be in the room to be able to decode what he’s saying. Karen leans against the desk in the main part of the office.

“Pizza?” You shrug, and Matt calls from his office,

“Sounds good!”

“Great. What do you guys want?” He asks.

“I’m really in the mood for buffalo chicken pizza, I dunno why.” You shrug. Matt’s footsteps echo through the office, before he’s in your doorway as well.

“What the fuck did you just say?”

You gaze at him, perplexed.

“Uh… I want buffalo chicken pizza?”

“Honey, You cannot be serious.”

“What is your problem, Matthew?” You laugh, but he looks disgusted.

“You are a New York native! How can you enjoy something as blasphemous as wanting buffalo chicken pizza?” He asks, and Foggy just laughs.

“Dude, no way. You can’t be discriminatory towards pizza.” Then, Karen speaks up.

“No, you can’t. Not technically. But I most definitely am. Buffalo chicken pizza ruins the point of pizza!”

Then, you go to defend yourself.

“The point of Pizza is to enjoy it! And I enjoy buffalo chicken pizza!”

“Well, you’re enjoying pizza wrong!”

“You can’t enjoy pizza incorrectly!”

At this point, Foggy is just giggling, “I can’t breathe,” He wheezes.

Now, you stand and leave your desk, going into the main part of the office.

“Where are you going?” Matt asks.

“I don’t need to be berated about my pizza preferences in my own office by my own boyfriend!”

“I have a valid excuse; I can taste all the ingredients of buffalo chicken pizza and it’s disgusting!”

“It’s not my fault you’re a freak with crazy senses!”

Matt gasps, “Bee, you wound me!”

“Do not use that nickname with me, Matthew!” You tell him, “That’s a low blow!”

“Why, just because I think your pizza choices are awful doesn’t mean I don’t still love you, Sweetheart! Your pizza preference is just inexcusable, and I think you need to accept that—”

“You know what?”

“What?”

Your hands come up to your ears, quickly turning your hearing aids off and taking them off, putting it on a nearby desk.

Though you cannot hear, Foggy and Karen’s face tells you that they are dying of laughter, and Matt has this offended look on his face when he realizes he no longer hears the familiar buzzing of your hearing aids.

This is how you spend your day. You sit at your desk, hungry, as your boyfriend yaps by your doorway. You know he’s asking you to put your hearing aids in or telling you that your pizza request is dumb, you can just sort of make out what he’s saying by the movement of his lips.

But you do not budge, and by the time it’s time to go back to his apartment, you simply slip on your coat and wait for him to meet you by the door. He has given up trying to talk to you, for the most part. But the silent treatment is killing him. Even when you get to his apartment, he’s left speechless as you silently retreat into his bedroom, stealing some clothes and going to lay down.

Honestly, though? The worst part isn’t the silent treatment or ignoring him, but it’s the fact that he knows your ears ring even worse when you walk through the city without your hearing aids on. He knows you’re in pain. It’s killing him because you’re trying not to show it, but he can tell you’re clenching your jaw and burying your head beneath his pillow. You’re trying to rely on the softness of his sheets and the faint smell of him lingering between the sheets.

So, he devises a plan. And every minute he waits for the plan to be carried out is torture because he knows you’re too stubborn to forfeit your opinion on buffalo chicken pizza. When he is finally able to give you an apology you truly deserve, he grabs your hearing aids off the coffee table and crawls into bed behind you. You feel the bed dip but don’t say anything.

He plants a soft kiss to your hand, beginning to trail kisses up your arm and shoulder. He kisses your neck, and then jaw. You glance back over to him, seeing the hearing aids in his hand. You take them from him and put them on, before turning them on. He grins at the familiar humming they create at a frequency that will not bother you.

“Still mad at me, bee?” He asks, kissing your shoulder again. You shrug.

“Mad is a strong word, but yes.”

“Let me make it up to you?”

“Fine, but only because you’re cute.” He likes this answer. He takes your hand and pulls you off the bed, taking you to the kitchen. And you smell.. Pizza. There’s a box from your favorite place, and you step away from him to open the box. It’s a half plain pie and a half buffalo chicken pie. Because no matter how much he disagrees with you, he just wants you to talk to him and not be in so much pain for the sake of winning an argument.

You turn your head and place a soft kiss to his cheek. He tilts his head and places a soft kiss to your lips.

“Am I forgiven, bee?”

“I think so, Matty.” You hum.

He grins and kisses you again, thrilled to sense your more relaxed posture now.

...

Another challenge of your relationship comes from being lawyers. Mostly since you’re both ridiculously stubborn. You have a fun game you like to play out of it, though.

This one time you play, you’re laying with him on his couch, listening to music when you start yapping.

“I think I might style my hair a different way,” you tell him, but he just shrugs and plays with your hair.

“I think you look gorgeous either way.”

You furrow your brows for a second, and his face splits into a grin since he knows what’s coming.

“Objection,” you start, “You’re blind, you have no actual way of telling if I’m conventionally attractive.”

He considers this for a second.

“Overruled,” He determines, “Beauty is subjective, and in my opinion, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever known.” Your face flushes.

“Objection,” You start again, and he groans, knowing you won’t let it go, “You don’t need to flirt with me, I already want you.”

“Overruled,” He counters again, quicker this time, “I like flirting with you, and it keeps the spark alive. Plus, I like making you blush.”

You raise an eyebrow, and he knows what’s coming next.

“Objection,” You hum, “How could you possibly know I’m blushing?”

He simply moves his hands from your hair and rests them against your cheeks, before deciding.

“Overruled.”

There’s another time that you’re at Josie’s, and you want to talk to Karen about a surprise you’re planning for his birthday, but he’s sitting right there, so you start signing. And he knows you’re signing by the way your hands smack, and the air moves through your fingers.

“Objection,” He groans, “I can’t understand what you’re talking about!”

“Mm, Overruled,” You determine, “There are some things I’m allowed to keep from you, but you have super senses and can tell when I’m lying and can hear me from a long distance away. Signing is the only way to have things be confidential.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“Okay, objection—You aren’t supposed to keep secrets from your partner.”

“Overruled.” You tell him. “One, that’s something people say about wedded spouses, ask me to marry you, get a marriage certificate and show me a nice ring then we’ll talk,” He blushes at that, “Two, you have an unhealthy idea of relationships from past relationships. You’re in therapy for a reason.”

Matt nods.

“Okay, okay.” He sighs, “That’s fair.” You grin at this.

“See? Was it so hard to let me win, Counselor?”

He raises an eyebrow.

“Yes, it was, Counselor.” He tells you, but you just giggle, because you love being a lawyer and you love your boyfriend.

But this last time is your favorite.

You spent the night drinking at Marci and Foggy’s, but there was this tension between you and Matt, and you can hardly wait to get home. So at some point, you make a half assed excuse, mumbling something about how your hearing aid batteries are low, but whatever it was that you told them as an excuse, you don’t really care.

Because now you’re on your bed, Matt pressed against you as he kisses down your neck. His teeth graze against your skin, and you gasp when he bites down, leaving a large mark on your neck.

Then, Matt, horny and a little tipsy, goes,

“Objection, I thought I told you to be quiet.” He continues to kiss your neck, jumping from side to side, leaving marks here and there.

“Overruled, I’m deaf, I can’t tell how loud I’m being,” You hum, your fingers lacing into his hair. He hums and kisses your collarbone before he speaks again.

“Objection,”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Matt—”

He shushes you softly before kissing you.

“Ssh… It’s listening time, sweetheart,” Okay, that was hot, “Objection,” He starts again, “You can be quiet for me, I know you can. I know you can follow orders, baby.” He then kisses your neck again.

“Overruled,” You start, tugging on his hair a bit. “You decided to play our game while knowing I’m at your mercy. It’s an abuse of power.”

“An abuse of—” he half scoffs, half chuckles. “You know what, Sweetheart?”

“What, Matty?”

“Objection. Be quiet or I’ll stop.”

Damn. An ultimatum. You knew that in situations like these, Matt’s willpower is stronger than yours.

“Sustained.”

“There we go, bee, was that so hard?”

...

The real best part of dating Matt Murdock, a blind lawyer with super senses while being deaf?

Well..

It starts on a warm sunny Sunday morning. You’re laying in bed, the sun peeking through its curtains. You’re laying on your stomach, face smooshed against pillows as he stretches out beside you. In another life, your dear boyfriend was a cat.

You don’t have your hearing aids in yet. It’s too early. Plus, you’re just enjoying the look of Matt basking in the warmth of the light. He’s gorgeous, your boy.

You lean forward and gently kiss the corner of his eyes, squeezed shut as he stretches. He stops when he feels your lips against his skin, smiling softly. He says good morning, but you can’t really hear him, so you just take his hand and press a kiss to his skin there too.

He returns the favor later, as you’re pouring your coffee. He presses a soft kiss to your ear, and you grin, resting your body against his He presses another kiss to your other ear. It’s something small, but it thrills you.

Matt is gentle with you in a way that you’re not used to. It’s not the sort of gentleness that comes with most people, where they’re afraid of breaking you because of your being deaf, but it’s a gentleness that comes despite it.

You enjoy bathing in his affection, especially because he is just so willing to give it to you and while it should be something you’re used to, you’re not. But you’re getting there. Matt makes sure of it.

The pair of you just seem to find the darkest cracks and crevices of the other, and you love those parts dearly.

You begin to kiss the corner of his eyes more often, and it quickly replaces his jaw as your favorite place to kiss. And your ears, despite how much pain and suffering they provide to you, Matt is a big fan of just kissing them.

So, when he leans forward and kisses your ears, you lean over to him and kiss the corners of his eyes. The way he squeezes his eyes shut at the affection is pretty adorable. It’s always awful when he must slip on those red glasses that hide those pretty eyes.

“Objection,” you groan.

He places a soft kiss to the top of your ear.

“Overruled.”

[le-panda-chocovore]

ShiuToji Lovers I have a new gift for you

The thing with Toji is that the man is a bastard. He is a pure asshole with no shame or morals. He loves violence and gore, he kills people for fun and doesn't make an exception for women and children. He's a freeloader too, he chooses carefully his victims and uses his charms to crash at their place for a night or a week. When he leaves, there's always some money and food lacking from their place. He feels no remorse about that. Let him in your home for five minutes and he'd find something to take. He can't be trusted with anything, except for the work he's so good at.

Shiu knows that. He knew that since the moment he met the man. Toji wasn't a respectable person, he wasn't someone he wanted to be associated with on a personal level. He was the best man when Shiu had a job to give, but the worst for almost anything else.

That doesn't stop Shiu from sleeping with him occasionally. Because if there's one thing Toji can do better than killing, it's fucking.

But the other thing with Toji, which kinda is Shiu's main problem right now, is that this asshole becomes the most adorable person once his desires are fully satisfied. He's extremely lovely after an orgasm, he gives the best aftercare Shiu has ever experienced. And he's super soft and sweet when he just wakes up and is still half asleep.

So now the sorcerer killer was cuddling against him, his head hidden in Shiu's shoulder but it didn't stop Shiu from feeling the soft lips caressing his naked skin. Toji leaves kisses on him like a bee flies from flower to flower to collect pollen, with care and airiness. He makes his path to Shiu's jaw, kissing it dearly, and the man can only melt under that attention.

"You're making it very hard for me, you know ?" Shiu whispers before his brain can stop the words. He used to be able to control himself, but now every touch weakens him. Makes him want to pour his heart open for the man he calls to kill people.

Toji's hand gently strokes Shiu's hip and brings him closer, as if their bodies weren't already glued together. Toji's lips end on the corner of Shiu's mouth and both of them let out a pleasant sigh.

"What am I making hard ?" Toji asks with the low voice of a man who just woke up. Shiu felt his heart aching.

Trying to not fall in love with you, he almost says, but he manages to keep the thought to himself. He can't let him know. He can't let himself fall for a man whose only use of romance and attraction is to have a place to sleep.

"My dick," he says instead, because it's easier to pretend that all of this is just for sex. That their relationship doesn't actually exist outside of the silent deal they have.

Despite Toji's lovely kisses and soft caresses and tight hugs, despite his sweet smile and his calm voice when they're alone in that apartment, they aren't a couple. And they are not going to be one.

"Oh yeah ?" Toji laughs, and the sound is so precious to Shiu's ear that he has to hold his breath. "Wanna go again ?"

Another kiss, on Shiu's lips this time, makes his heart stop. Maybe Toji is planning to kill him. Maybe that was his plan all along. If so, it is working. And honestly, Shiu won't complain about that way of dying.

"Sure, if you're in the mood."

It's not hard to pretend he just wants to fuck. Toji is incredibly sexy and attractive so it's not really a lie. Shiu already wants him.

"Get me in the mood and I'll make it good for you then~"

And the asshole bites Shiu's lips like a hungry whore. With a moan, Shiu reached down to grab the bastard's cock and choke it without too much strength. Toji let his lip go and went for the tongue, making the other man moan louder. He knows exactly how to make Shiu react and is fully playing with that. Not that Shiu is complaining.

It's easy to change the mood, to go from a softy morning to a horny one. It's easy to distract himself from the panic of his heart by choking on his secret crush's massive cock. It's easy to shut the romantic thoughts with lewd noises.

It's less easy to let the man go after. When the sun has fully risen and both of them are clothed and up, the magic is gone. Shiu knows Toji doesn't like him back, so he lights up his cigarette and closes his eyes when the man leaves. He tells himself that he should stop playing that game because he's really falling and the contact with the ground will be brutal. He won't recover from that hurt.

But when Toji finds his way on him again a few weeks later, two hands on his ass and a range of teeth planted in his shoulder, Shiu can't resist.

What a bastard, really.

[nkirukaj]

The Radio Demon & the Billboard Doe (17)

Pairing: Alastor x Fem! OC

Warnings: Swearing; Sexual implications

Genre: Angst/Fluff (& Humor!)

Word Count: 9.6k

<Chapter 16

17. The Skill of Empathy

“It’s time to rise, my dear,” he pets her head and strokes her scarlet hair

“No,” she breathes out almost inaudibly. Her grip on his body grew tighter, trapping him in place 

“Belle, I have business to take care of.” He’s laughing, trying to pry her off playfully 

“You always leave me after. Stay with me.” Her face is buried in his chest

“Darling…”

Voe raises her head to look him in the eye. Her face was somehow immaculate, despite the previous night’s activities. She bats her bright and innocent eyes, adorned with thick luxurious lashes at him; pleading with him to stay. No matter how much he looked, he was always stunned by her beauty. From the size of her eyes to the chaotic placement of her spots, to the shades of her two-tone lips. He softened his eyes.

“Fair enough.” He sighs and relaxes back into the mattress. She sinks into his chest and lets out a little squeak. He pulls her closer and lets out one of his own. 

“Alastor,” 

“Hmm?”

“10/10”

When he awoke again, it was hours later, he sat up on the grass, noticing that Voe was gone after she’d asked him to stay. His ears fell in disappointment. He stands, wiping grass blades off his skin, he picks up his clothes and dejectedly walks over and places them on his armchair. The door creaks open and Alastor jumps, startled by the intrusion. He goes into the bathroom and closes the door.

“Alastor?” it’s Voe’s voice

“Yes?” he speaks through the crack in the door

“Where are you?”

“In the bathroom, my dear”

She chuckles “Did I interrupt your business?”

He huffs “No. I was unaware that it was you entering. I don’t want anyone to see my…equipment.” he furrows his brow

Voe shakes her head “Oh Alastor you’re so cute. Well, while you’re in there why don’t you hop in the bath I ran for you?”

He turns to see the tub filled with water, he wonders how he didn’t notice it before.

“It’s got bubbles!” she sounds giddy “It should help relax your hooves!”

Alastor rolls his eyes and takes a step into the tub, shocked by the heat.

“It’s hot! You seem like you’d like it hot! I know I do!”

He slowly lowers himself into the water, letting it relax his body. He lays in the tub silent until Voe knocks on the door.

“Alastor? You haven’t said anything? You didn’t drown right?”

“No, my dear I am trying to relax,”

“Okay!” she says in a sing-songy voice “Don’t forget to scrub!”

He rolls his eyes once more, no one needs to tell him how to take a bath. He dunks his head under the water if only to see how long he could go without breathing. He comes up after two minutes, wiping the hair out of his face.

“Would you like some help?” She asks in a way that makes it clear to him that she’s smirking

“With what?”

“Your bath,”

“I know how to take a bath, my dear!”

She huffs and stomps away from the door, Alastor chuckling amongst the bubbles. The last person to ever run him a bath was…his mother. He thought of her in this moment and how she’d always wanted grandkids to give little bubble baths to as well. He smiled thinking of her, and how he’d always promised to give her some, despite never actually planning to do it. He furrowed his brows, regretting lying to his mother. He thought about how she kept recommending women for him to marry, and how he’d never found interest in them or attraction to them. He’d seen hundreds of beautiful women in his life (and afterlife)time, and never had he felt drawn to them the way songs about romance had always described. He’d never been in love. He’d never felt sexual desire for anyone in particular. Sure the sexual feelings emerged, but not for anyone. She’d always teased him about being so picky, but he wasn’t really sure. Then he had died, and his heart fell thinking of all the many ways he felt he’d failed his mother. This being one on a long list of them. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been lost in thought before he heard another knock on the door.

“Okay, did you fall asleep?” 

“No.” he breathes out “Just getting my back darling!”

“I can help! If you need help,”

He chuckles “I suppose I need a little help,”

The bathroom door creaks open and Voe steps in barefoot. Alastor laughs at the sight of her fully done up, with a shower cap on.

“What? There’s humidity in here!” she puts her hands on her hips “I need my hair to stay straight!” she bends over “Now what do you need help with baby?”

“Scrubbing my back, dear.”

She bites her tongue and grabs a loofah, dunking it in the bath water and squeezing soap onto it. She rubs the loofah on the Overlord’s back just rough enough for him to feel it on his skin, there’s a slight pain in some areas that Alastor winces at.

“Sorry, I gave you some new scratches,” she speaks, chuckling in his ear

“It’s all fine,”

The rough feeling of her scrubbing his back satisfies him, letting his mind wander into blissful territory. He can feel one hand on her shoulder as the other works the loofah. The free hand then snakes its way to the front of his body, up and around his throat, tightening its grip as the other hand scrubs harder. Forcing his head up to stare at her smirk, as she grips his throat tighter and tighter; almost cutting off his breath, Voe leans down and bites his exposed neck to which he responds with a bleat! She chuckles darkly as she rinses off his back with the loofah, leaving bites all over his shoulders and collarbone, he moans unsure of if he likes feeling taken care of or not, when abruptly she pulls away from him. 

“Hurry up and get out, I got you a gift.” She tosses over her shoulder as she exits the room

He watches after her, standing as the water quickly drips off his body. He steps out of the tub with his hooves landing on the mat. He covers himself with a towel, draining the tub before exiting the bathroom after her.

She pulls out a dark red, long fleece robe and drapes it around him; standing on a stool to do it. 

“Where did this come from?”

“I bought it for you,” she smiles, patting it flat on his shoulders. 

He turns to her “Why?”

She shrugs “I don’t know. I was out shopping and saw it and thought, ‘This is so Alastor’, so I bought it. Do you like it?”

He runs his hands across the sleeves of it “I do, my dear.” He pauses before continuing “Thank you, Belle.”

“You’re welcome!”

“I shall cherish this for eternity,” he says cupping her chin. Voe nuzzles into his palm, holding his wet arm. She moves his palm over her lips, leaving small kisses on it. He watches her, warmth rising up his neck and cheeks. He just let her, not knowing what to do.

“Come and sit,” she says, descending from the stool and walking over to a chair, patting the back of it.

He sits and she stands behind him, wrapping her arms around his neck

“Is this okay?”

“Yes,”

She leans down to him “Are you comfy? Do you need anything?” her lashes flutter

“No, I’m fine,” he says, not at all used to the generosity

She shrugs “Okay, just let me know if you do,” she pulls her arms back and walks away 

“I most certainly will,”

Voe wanders around the chair (now wearing tall socks and sneakers), clearly having something on her mind to say. He stares, waiting to see how long it will take for her to speak up.

“What was your mom like?” she blurts out

The question startles him, more than anything else this day. How is it that he had just been thinking of his mother, and now she was asking about her? “She was….perhaps the most wonderful woman you could ever possibly meet,”

She sits in the other chair “What else?”

“She was hardworking, loving, and strong. She did her best to take care of the ones she loved.”

“What did that look like?”

“Cleaning and cooking for our house and others, spending all of her hard-earned money on clothes and food for us, telling me stories and singing…” he trails off, thinking about his mother once again

Voe grins “Gosh, it’s hard to imagine you as a little boy,”

He smirks “I suppose. And yours?”

“Hmm?”

“Your parents,”

Her eyes widen “As I’ve told you my dad is a psychiatrist, but my mom…runs a daycare! Which was awesome, because I love to see all the little kids when I visit!” Her tone gets a little downtrodden “I mean, when I used to visit.” she’s silent for a few moments before picking it back up “I used to go to my mom’s daycare as a kid, so it would be killing two birds with one stone! And when I was in high school I volunteered there as community service. I honestly love playing with kids, their minds are so creative and imaginative, and they don’t play by stupid unspoken social rules that don’t make any sense-“ She glances up at him leaning on his arm watching her. She blushes, playing with some of her hair, self-conscious under his gaze.

“Aww, weren’t you so sweet?’

“Don’t make fun of me,” she laughs a bit

“Who’s making fun? My my, you take everything as an insult!”

She turns back “Sorry.”

“No need, my dear.”

“Usually when people said stuff like that they were making fun of me and didn’t realize it,”

“I would never make fun of you,”

She snickers “That’s a lie,”

His smirk is quite evident “Well, not about this, I find the topic fascinating!” He snaps and is now fully dressed

“Aww, I like you better bare.” she pouts jokingly

“And I prefer myself clothed,”

She rolls her eyes “You’re sooo boring,” she smiles, standing out of her seat

Alastor places his hands on the armrests of the chair “And why are you obsessed with me?” he asks, crossing his legs and leaning forward

Voe slinks over to him, bending down towards his face. She places her hand flat on his chest, pushing him back into his chair “Because…” she licks over her teeth “You’re my buck.” She grins 

“And you’re my doe.” He reaches up, pulls her face closer, and kisses her forehead.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Angel Dust bursts through the door while Voe applies some foundation, lightly dancing the brush across her face. 

“Yes?” 

The spider approaches her quietly. When he reaches her, he sits in a chair beside her. 

“Now Voe, I’m gonna ask ya one more time. And I hope ya won’t lie to me.” He leans in and whispers “Are you and Al doing the dirty?”

Voe carefully places the brush on her vanity, standing and approaching her bed, beckoning Angel to follow with a tap on the mattress. He joins her, anticipating her response, her expression unable to be deciphered. She gestures for him to give her his ear and he obliges, her leaning in as closely as possible. And in the softest and lowest pitch he could imagine, she gave him what he was after. 

“Yes.”

“I fucking knew it!” Angel hits the mattress with four fists, then punches the air with two. “I knew it! I knew it! I knew it.”

A playful smile danced on Voe’s lips before she grabbed one of his arms and spoke. 

“Shh.” She continued to speak in a light whisper “Alastor doesn’t want this getting out. So this stays between us okay?”

“Why not? He doesn’t want people to know he’s fucking the Vees top bitch? It would finally let everyone know he’s a real person.”

Voe moves closer “That’s exactly it. He doesn’t want anyone to know he’s a real person. He wants to seem,” she pauses, looking for the word “above such things. And besides, it’s only because of mating season. These urges are uncontrollable.”

Angel’s gold tooth glinted in the light as he revealed it in a mischievous smile. 

“I don’t think it’s just cuz of mating season toots. I think he’s got it bad.”

Voe blinks, staring at him blankly. “What do you mean?”

Angel looks back at her perplexed at her lack of understanding “You know, he’s got it bad for ya’”

“You’re going to need to explain Angel Dust because repeating it doesn’t make it easier to understand.”

“You know,” he scratches the back of his head “Like you said, he likes ya’”

“Uh huh…”

“Like, he wants to date ya’”

Her face lights up with understanding “Oh! No, that’s not the kind of relationship we have.” She waves him off “We’re like, friends.”

“Friends who fuck?” He raises his eyebrow

“That’s a lot more common than you think Angel.” She says flatly 

“You can’t honestly say that you like this.”

Voe shrugs “This is how it has to be,”

“Nobody likes being a secret toots.”

Voe does not respond to this. She stands and sits back in front of the vanity, applying the foundation again.

“I should know,” 

She turns to him “Let’s talk about you,”

“What about me?”

“You lying to me about what’s going on with Valentino,”

Angel does a double take “What?” he’s almost laughing at how ridiculous the conversation change was.

“You’re condemning me, but you’ve been lying to me,”

“About my personal life?”

She squints “So is the whole thing with me and Alastor,”

“This is different,”

“Why?” she slams the makeup brush on the vanity. She sits in silence, looking down at her hands. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell,”

“Because wanting to hide the person you’re fucking is different than wanting to protect your friends from getting the same treatment as you.”

“But what treatment Angel? What treatment are you protecting me from?”

Angel looks away, pursing his lips. He turns back to her, his eyes wide and full of despair. Voe’s stomach falls, seeing the look on Angel’s face. It only turns more horrifying as Angel finally opens up and tells her about all that he has suffered at the hands of her boss’s coworker. The disgust and anger boiled up in her throat and out to her limbs, fingers, and toes. She could not believe the depravity her friend had suffered. Her face hasn’t changed besides a single tear rolling down her cheek. She chokes down a sob on behalf of her friend. She looks back up, her eyes red and welling up.

“I…don’t know what to say,”

“You don’t have to say anything, please don’t do anything,”

Voe drops her head to avoid being seen crying, she covers her eyes with her hand.”

“Aw, don’t cry, look I’m fine!” he smiles, wrapping his arms around her.

Voe hugs him tightly “You’re not fine! You had a black eye!”

“Eh, black eyes are a dime a dozen in Hell,” he waves her off

“Stop!” she looks up at him “I’m so sorry Angel, I kept pushing you and pushing you!” she clutches his fluff “I didn’t know! I can’t believe I’ve just been sitting here while this was happening to you! I’m so sorry Angel!”

Angel takes a breath, smiling a little “Anthony,”

Voe sniffles “What?”

“That’s the name on my contract. My real name.”

“Really?” he nods “Oh my gosh, that’s so Italian!” they laugh together “Did people use to call you ’Tony’?”

He grins “Yeah,” she leaned into his chest laughing. He exhales, happy that she’s no longer crying “I’m just ’Tony’” he grins

“You’re not just anything ‘Anthony’. You’re like, my best friend. I love you.” She smiles, taking him in for a hug.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Two knocks on the door were enough for Lucifer to open it. Voe greeted him and waved sheepishly as she stepped inside the room. He was incredibly understanding when she told him that she needed to discuss something with him, and now that they were in front of each other, she wasn’t sure she could do it. They sat silently for a while, eyes darting all around, anywhere but each other.

“If I’ve done something wr-“

“I need to tell you something-“

They speak at the same time, laughing at the awkwardness of the situation. 

“Go ahead,” Lucifer told her, his eyes so soft and gentle, full of passion and adoration. His eyes almost made her want to renege on this entire ordeal, to keep him for herself once more, however, Voe was taking some time to develop the skill of empathy.

“I need to tell you something,”

“Yeah?”

She breathes in, inhaling all the willpower she needed to speak “Charlie and I talked. She came and told me that there were some…feelings developing on your part. Is that true?”

Lucifer scoffs “I told her to keep that a secret. I wanted to tell you that myself,” he smiles

Voe inhales “Can you tell me about your…feelings?”

Lucifer blushes “I think I might be…falling for you…I don’t know?” he rubs his arm

Voe is unaware of how to proceed with this discussion, Lucifer takes her hand into his gently. “Why?”

“Why what? You’re wonderful! Smart, caring, and I feel like we connect”

Voe’s stomach drops. This was one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do.

“I don’t know what I would do without you,”

“Okay, please stop!” She pulls her hands back and holds

He stares at her, blush rising up his face. “Oh, okay,”

Voe looks into his face and feels something she has never felt before. Guilt? Yeah, guilt. She liked Lucifer so much, but falling for him? She couldn’t muster that feeling for him, for anyone. The only person she had come even close to feeling that for was- well, it wasn’t Lucifer.

“I’m sorry,”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for! You’ve done nothing wrong! You never have to apologize again.”

“But I do, I feel awful right now.”

“You don’t have to. You’re an amazing young woman Voe, and I am so happy to have met you,”

“No, you don’t get it!” 

He stares “Okay, what do I not get?”

This was too difficult, does she lay it on lightly or rip the band-aid off? “Lucifer,”

“Hmm?” Ugh, he looked so cute and innocent. He didn’t deserve this but-

“We were never exclusive,”

His smile fades off his face and the pit in Voe’s stomach hits harder.

“I didn’t even know that you thought we were,”

“I just- we just had so many talks and we were so close to each other. And we were “ he looks off to the side “Intimate,”

“You’re not the only person I am intimate with. I’m sorry.”

“What do you mean?”

Voe widens her eyes “What do you mean, what do I mean?”

“Well, who else have you been…fucking?” He sounds somewhat frustrated

“Wait really? You want to know..who?”

Lucifer hits his thigh “I mean..please?”

Voe blows air out of her mouth “Okay,” She plays with her fingers as he stares expectantly “Well, there’s Velvette,”

“Who?”

“From the Vees, she’s my boss,”

“Oh, well okay. You guys are like a thing or…?”

She shakes her head “No! Not at all!”

He looks slightly happier “Oh! Well okay, well that’s fine. No biggie.” is what he said, but Voe could tell he was lying.

“Yeah,” she nods

“Anyone else?”

Voe drops her shoulders “I don’t want to lie to you, but I don’t want you to be sad,”

He waves her off “Oh, please. I won’t be sad,”

“I feel like you will,”

“I promise I won’t,”

“I don’t think you can promise something like that,”

“Okay well look, is it Alastor?” Voe purses her lips “I mean, I’ve been hearing about you two getting close,”

“Who did you hear that from?”

He looks to the side “Well, Charlie… Vaggie…and Angel Dust goes around giggling about it.”

Voe rubs her forehead “Ugh, they need to learn to mind their business,”

“So it is true?” his eyes fall

“Yes,” she states flatly “But! But, it’s only because of nature!”

He shakes his head “You don’t have to explain yourself. It’s fine, it’s okay really,” he taps her hand and quietly exits the room. Voe sits uncomfortably, dropping her head in her hands.

There’s a knock on Alastor’s door as he sits in his armchair reading a novel.

“Enter,” he states, waving his hand to unlock the door.

It is Voe who comes in, she looks timid and unsure of her steps, which is a way he had never seen her. 

“I did it,” she says entering the room 

“Did what my dear?”

She sits in one of his chairs “I ended whatever me and Lucifer were doing,”

Alastor’s ears pricked up “Is that so?”

She nods “I chose you,”

Alastor’s smile turns into a sly smirk “Good decision,” he lowers his novel “How’d he take it?” he begins to snicker

“It’s not funny,” her tone is stern

“Of course not,” Alastor can barely control his glee

“I’m serious, he was hurt and I felt so bad,”

“Well, that’s his fault for thinking anyone would care about him besides his daughter,”

She stands and storms up to him “Don’t be fucking rude. Lucifer is a great man and he does not deserve to be hurt like this! I feel awful!”

“Maybe you should do something for him. Perhaps get him an apple?” he flashes a shit-eating grin that lit her up positively and negatively. 

“This is serious. I really hurt him,” she holds her arms

He leans forward “Did you apologize? I certainly hope not,”

“I did before I told him, but I don’t think it was enough,”

“He’ll get over it, or maybe he’ll go back to making rubber ducks in his ivory tower,”

She leans over him “You’re an ass,” she speaks through her teeth

“And yet you chose me,” he leans back placing his hands together on his lap

“Yeah, I did,”

“You hate to admit it but, we are just alike,”

Voe stands and stares at him, with nothing to say for once. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lucifer wasn’t seen for a few days after that. Voe was worried, but there was nothing she could do. She tried to put it behind her, especially since today was November 1st! 

Voe wasn’t sure if her birthdays counted anymore, but she sure as hell was gonna celebrate it. 

Today she decided on a simple off-the-shoulder cocktail dress in her signature color. Just a placeholder until the runway show later that day. For makeup, she decided to go big, with false lashes and everything. She chose to body wave her hair, with a middle part, trying something different. She clipped some earrings on her ears and wiggled them in the mirror, she took a glance at her nails adorned with jewels. She is quite pleased with her appearance on this day. 

She skips down the stairs happily, making her way down to the bright and early. 

“Voe! Happy Birthday!” She makes glitter with her hands

“How’d you know it was my birthday?”

“You’ve been telling us for the past few days,”

“And all of last week,” Vaggie groans

“Oh! Okay well, thanks!” She smiles

“You look so pretty!”

“Thanks!”

“Happy birthday, bitch!” Angel comes and wraps some of his arms around her

“Did you get me a gift with all your money?”

“Even better! I got ya money!” He out a wad of cash and hands it to her

“Sick!” She takes it 

“Happy birthday Mommy!” Niffty scurries up to her holding up a roach crown “You are Queen Roach!”

Voe takes it, trying not to look disgusted “Thanks,”

“Love you, Mommy,” she says creepily while hugging her leg and Voe pats her on the head

“Oh, we’re giving out money?” Charlie asked and added another stack of cash on top of the one Angel had given Voe

Voe is quite excited “Nice!”

“You’re just in time for breakfast Voe!” Charlie was excited to finally have all of the residents downstairs at once “Then after, we have today’s activity, I’d like to hope that you’re willing to spend your birthday time with us?” Charlie’s eyes plead as Vaggie rolls her eyes, likely at Charlie basically asking for permission.

Voe shrugs “Yeah sure, why not?” 

The Princess is giddy “Amazing! Thank you!” Vaggis groans and Charlie does a double take “I mean, good. You should,”

They indulge in a breakfast of waffles/pancakes/french toast, bacon/sausage, eggs, croissants, and sliced fruits. Voe aye slowly, as she only took bites when others weren’t looking. She enjoyed the breakfast conversation, not that she was a part of it. This was one of the few times that Voe was fine with just existing in the presence of others. She didn’t know what it was, but today just felt so different than other days. Today she felt like being part of a collective, a group. It just felt right this morning.

Today’s activity was something a bit different than the other activities that Voe had been present for. Today Charlie wanted them to go around the room and acknowledge what they had done in their lives that led to them being sent to Hell, and why it was wrong of them to do that. It was something that Voe couldn’t really comprehend, who’s to say what got them sent to Hell specifically? How could they know what exactly was the nail in the coffin for each of them? 

A red demon named Eric went first, saying that he was a racist and a misogynist while alive, but turned the corner right before death, but guesses that clearly wasn’t enough. A girl named Erin told the group about how she watched her best friend drown in the ocean, and next was Angel discussing his life in the mafia and how much he regrets it.

“Like the real mafia? Like the one they make movies about?” Voe asked

Angel rests his chin on his hands “Yeah, but it ain’t as glamourous as it looks,”

“It doesn’t really look that glamourous,”

“Yeah, it wasn’t,”

“Is that it? Is that what I was supposed to do?”

Charlie tilts her head “Well, no..how do you feel about that now?”

Angel chuckles “I mean there was this one funny moment where we was interrogating this guy, and he wouldn’t tell us where the money was, so we cut his fingas off. I was like 17. And then instead of tellin’ us about the money, he tells us that he’s cheating on his wife” he cackles “Like we gave a damn! Like why you tellin’ us that?! We care about the money! And then he’s like “Please, don’t tell my wife!” once we’re on the last of his fingers, so then we kill him, and then go tell his wife, just because! Like, fuck you, am I right?” he laughs

“And how do you feel about that now?” Vaggie asks flatly

“I guess bad. ‘Cuz his wife was like really sad about him being dead. Like, don’t borrow money if ya can’t pay it back!” He gestures around “Also he made fun of Tony’s spaghetti,” Angel crosses his arms

“Wait you Tony or another Tony?” Voe questions

“Another Tony,”

“How many Tony’s were there?”

Angel furrows his brow “Don’t question me,”

“Okay, moving on,” Vaggie rolls her eyes “Alastor!”

They turn towards the microphone feedback the Radio Demon emits. He looks toward the woman who called his name, smile intact.

“Alastor! Why don’t you come join our activity?” Charlie asks him

“No thanks, I’ve got lots to do!” His tone is cheery and uplifting

Charlie squints in frustration “Alastor,” she repeats more sternly “Come and join our activity!”

Alastor squints himself, spotting Voe on the couch, who waves cordially. “Alright, why not?” He takes a seat in the large armchair “What childish game are we playing today?”

“We’re discussing how you all feel after the things you did on Earth,” Charlie responds

“I felt wonderful!” Alastor places his hands on his lap

“That’s it?” Vaggie wonders

“That’s it,”

“You have no regrets?”

His grin is cocky “None at all,”

“What if those people you killed had families?” Charlie proposes “That doesn’t make you feel a little bad about what you chose to do?”

“Okay,” Alastor starts “Let me explain this to all of you, I had my reason to do the things I did. I do not have to explain any of my choices to any of you, because you are all children and you’ll never understand. Charlotte my dear, you are not a sinner do not act like you are. Do not include me in your little redemption games,” He explains calmly

“Okay,” Charlie speaks through her teeth “Who wants to go next?”

The room is silent for a moment, tension in the air as Alastor sits, smiling all the while.

Voe clears her throat “I’m not supporting him because that was rude,” She side-eyes Alastor “But it’s a fair point, Charlie, you’re not a sinner.”

The awkward silence continues.

“Alright, birthday girl,” Vaggie starts “I have a question for you. Do you want to be redeemed? Or are you in the same boat as Alastor? You think you’re too good for this?”

Charlie scoffs “Ugh Vaggie!”

“Or are you just here for free bed and breakfast? Because you can live in Vee Tower,”

“I just agreed that Charlie’s not a sinner,”

“I know what you said. I’m asking you why are you here. What progress have you made on the path to redemption?”

Voe leans forward “How am I supposed to quantify that?”

Vaggie shrugs “I don’t know. What things have you done?”

Voe shrugs back “I don’t really think about them, I just do them,”

“I didn’t think so,”

Voes sits on the edge of the couch “You didn’t so what?”

“That you had any evidence of being on the path to redemption,”

“Okay Vaggie, enough-“

“Wait, hold on what do you know about redemption Miss Angel?”

“I know you don’t sit around wasting people’s time, or come up with ideas and don’t even help out. I know you don’t walk around here thinking that you’re better than everyone else because you have a few followers. Congrats, you’re just like any other Overlord.” She puts her hands on her hips “You know we don’t need you here. You can live at Vee Tower.”

Angel looks over a Cherri Bomb “Holy shit, this is the best activity I’ve ever been to!”

“I know right, pass the popcorn!”

“First of all!” Voe stands “Once again, I have to point out that neither of you are sinners! So you have no idea what it is to try and redeem yourselves! You don’t know the experiences I’ve been through that led me to make the choices I did on Earth! Charlie, no offense but you don’t even know what Earth is like. So neither of you can decide if I’m making strides for redemption because you don’t know what that looks like for me! The fact that you both think that the path to redemption follows a template where it’s the same for everyone, proves that you shouldn’t be judging anyone on this! For instance, take this activity! Yeah, I’ve done some shit things when I was on Earth, and maybe I don’t feel bad about them! Your first instinct is to condemn me for not feeling bad about them, but you never ask why I don’t feel bad about them! You seem to think that sinners do bad things, just for the sake of doing bad things, but you don’t think that maybe we do bad things because that’s how we’ve been taught to survive. Earth takes advantage of kind people, we all don’t have the luxury of being sinless. You’re condemning me, but you haven’t even taken the time to get to know me! Did you know I’m autistic?” She looks around the room, pointedly at Vaggie “Hmm? Did you?”

“Well, no. But you don’t join the group activities. How are we supposed to know?”

“Yeah, I don’t join because I’m uncomfortable around you. Especially in terms of saying unrehearsed things in front of an entire crowd. Every time we converse you do this to me. Do you think this makes me want to open up? And since you didn’t know I’m autistic I’m certain that you’re unaware that my autism makes me struggle with the skill of empathy. All these things that seem so simple to you are so hard for me! They’ve always been hard for me!” Voe choked on her words “I had to deal with this up there!” she pointed up “I don’t need it down here.”

“Ugh, when are they gonna start throwing hands?” Cherri whispers “This is the most boring fight ever!”

“Are you kidding? This is drama! The pinnacle of entertainment!” Angel eats his popcorn

“Whatcha guys talking about?” Sugar pops up between them

Angel is startled “Wait, you weren’t here the whole time?”

Sugar shakes her head “No,”

“I am so tired of people questioning my actions, my choices, and how my brain works. I can’t even understand it, you think I can explain it to you?!” Voe rolls her eyes up to stop tears from ruining her makeup

Angel smirks “I love today’s activity. It’s all about anger. Damn girl what did you do?! You so defensive!”

“Ya such a dick,” Cherri nudges him with her elbow

“What? I wanna know! Don’t you?”

She purses her lip “Yeah,”

“I wanna know what’s going on,” Sugar pipes up

Voe sits back down “I did a lot of stuff okay?”

“Oooh, like what?” Angel leans on one of his arms near her head “Wait, was you a murderer too?”

“No,”

“Mmm, well that’s a little disappointing,” She glares up at him through her lashes “I think we all need to clear the air. What happened in your past?” He wraps his arm around her

Voe sighs “Well for one, I may or may not have broken up multiple marriages,”

“She broke up multiple marriages,” Angel whispers to Cherri

Voe chuckles “That’s actually why I’m dead I think,”

“Ya think?”

She rolls her eyes “I got.. shot in the heart while shopping for groceries. By the husband of my last conquest,” She smiles painfully “At least that’s what I remember,”

“Ahhh, how much you wanna bet he killed his wife?”

“How much do you wanna bet on before or after?” Cherri asks

“Before,”

“After,”

“Before,”

“After,”

“You bitch,”

Cherri smirks “Mhmm,”

“So you was a badass, that probably got people’s partners murdered or beat?” Voe groans “Geez I wonder what the internet was like when you died,”

“Ugh probably full of sexist men talking about how they’d kill her too,” Cherri sounds disgusted

“After fucking her,” Angel added, Cherri nods in agreement

Cherri shrugs “Eh, not too bad anyway. I accidentally bombed a building with children inside,” Voe’s eyes widen

“At least ya not a murderer,” Angel smirks “We still love ya toots”

Voe smiles at him trying not to cry, hugging the spider, leaning on his fluff.

“So…” Sugar interjects “Did I miss the morning activity?”

“Latte, please,” Angel scolds

Voe had pulled herself together after the morning activity, and she had run back to her room to get some floss since she had food stuck in her teeth from breakfast. It was somewhat pleasurable to floss until she felt the pain. She did this a few times, pulling the floss from her mouth and examining the blood on it. She throws it out and exits her room, not sure where to go.

“Glad to see you’re in a better mood, my dear”

Voe jumps slightly, turning around to see Alastor. She’s a little embarrassed, still feeling slightly emotional “Eh I guess,” she smiles a small smile. He pulls her to the side, and she looks somewhat irritated “What do you need?”

“I smell your blood, where is it coming from?”

“My mouth” She opens her mouth and points inside “A part of my gums is bleeding from the floss”

Alastor grabs her by the chin and plants a kiss directly on her lips, using the opportunity to snake his tongue into her mouth and lick around her teeth for the slightest taste of her blood. 

When he pulls away, Voe is astonished at his actions. 

“Now you see why I had to pull you away,” he grins, rubbing his thumb back and forth on her cheek, then gently letting go of her chin. “Well, what has you dolled up?!”

She puffs out her chest “You didn’t hear? It’s my birthday,” 

“Oh, how wonderful!” Alastor claps “I do wish you had informed me earlier, I could have gotten you a gift!” he pressed his finger to his temple “Ooh! Would you like me to bring back a sinner’s head for you? Or perhaps some fresh meat?” He grins giddily at the idea

“Hmm, tempting,” Voe jokes “It is quite a stunning display to watch you kill, but no. I want a real and tangible gift.” She shifts her weight to one side.

Alastor thinks “Well, let’s see what I can do...Ah! I know!” He claps and manifests a box in his open palm. He stretches out his arm to her and she eyes the object. “Go on, take it,” grin wide as ever

She wraps her fingers around it slowly, lifting it up from his hand and opening it, reacting with widened eyes. 

It is a silver necklace, shining and shimmering, cool and smooth silver. It’s a simple chain and clasp, leading down to silver cursive of a word, no, a name that was surprisingly not her own.

“Alastor,” she reads on the necklace

“Yes?” he responds with a shit-eating grin

She smirks holding it, her eyes darting up toward his face “You were the one who told me to keep us a secret, but you want me to wear your name on my body?”

“Only as a reminder darling,”

“Of what?”

“Who you belong to,” his eyes shine brightly when he speaks

She scoffs and laughs “Sir, I belong to no one.”

“Ah yes, I shall rephrase.” He makes a close-lipped smile “A reminder of who your buck is,”

Voe smiles at him, crossing her arms “Fine, I will wear this if you wear my name on you,”

Alastor closes his eyes and snaps, then moves to roll up his sleeve. He reveals a red leather bracelet on his right wrist, with silver wording, similar to the wording on her necklace, spelling ‘VERA’.

“Satisfactory, my dear?”

She nods “Indeed,”

“Lovely,”

Voe tries to clasp the necklace on, her eyes flying up to Alastor once more “Would you like to put it on me?”

“Of course my doe,” he stands behind her, clasping the necklace shut. When he looks down and sees his name, just hanging around her neck, it fills him with desire “You can wear it under your clothing, and I shall cover mine with my sleeve. Though, knowing my name is around your throat, does something to me dearest.”

Voe takes Alastor’s palm and wraps his long claws around her neck, forcing her head up.  He tightens his grip.

“Gimme a kiss,” she speaks through his grip

“My doe…” he looks around the empty hallway

“It’s my birthday, you have to! And I’m still a little sad! Kiss me you handsome demon,” she glances at him, her lips puckered “Please baby, I want a kiss so bad,” placing her hands on his chest

“Such a needy little thing, are we?” He raises his brow

Alastor squeezes her throat and places a kiss on her waiting lips, but is stopped by her when pulling away. 

“Yes, I’m so needy for you,” she pulls him back down, her hands in his hair “Birthday kisses please,” she moans before his lips return to hers, backing her into a wall. Alastor removes his hand from her throat and places them both around her waist, pulling her body as close to him as possible

“You’re so sexy,” she whispers when they pull apart to breathe 

“Tell me something I don’t know,” he breathes against her lips, smirking, moving his mouth down to licking and biting her neck. Alastor roughly grabs the side of her neck as he sucks on it extra hard. Voe is so caught off guard by this kind of pleasure that she makes a doe bleat. Alastor’s eyes snap open as he removes himself from her throat leaving a bright red mark. His grin reaches his hairline and is beyond evil as he stares down at her, pleased by the reaction.

Voe knows exactly where he’s going just by the look on his face. “Alastor…I know what you’re thinking. Don’t-“ his smile gets even wider “Alastor no!” He leans back in, pressing her to the wall “Alastor please! I have a show tonight-“ she’s cut off by his aggressive sucking on different areas on her neck and chest, leaving bright red marks all over her. She can’t help but bleat and moan, wrapping her arms around him while Alastor does as he pleases to her. 

So Alastor did exactly what Voe asked him not to do and left her throat and chest covered in hickies. When he finished placing them, he tilted up her chin admiring his work

“What a masterpiece,” 

“Alastor!” She huffs

“Hmm?”

“You’re a dickhead!”

He blows her a kiss.

So now she was at work wearing a scarf, sweating her ass off. She walked into the studio and everyone was bustling just like she expected.

“Finally you here! I said two hours early!”

Voe looks at her watch “It is,”

Velvette grunts “It’s an hour and thirty minutes before.” Voe flattens her eyebrows “Come on, let’s get you dressed. Why are you wearing a scarf? Take that off!” She grabs onto the scarf around the doe’s neck, yanking it off. Voe’s hands leap up to cover the bruising. “What’s that on your neck?” she pulls Voe’s arms down. “Seriously? Right before the show?” she groans. Voe tries to smile it away “Anita! Makeup! And take that chain or necklace or whatever off. Doesn’t fit the look”

She’s whisked away and sat in a chair for makeup. “Oh hold on, let me take off my chain,” she turns to the makeup demon “Is there somewhere I can put this?”

She looks unsure “I’m not sure,”

“Okay,” she drops the necklace inside her purse “Okay, I’m ready,”

Once her makeup is done, she is moved to a different room to get dressed. All the moving bits of the show, including lights, cameras, audience seating, and other models, had her preoccupied to the point where she was completely unaware that Velvette was growing a bit suspicious. As Voe was sent from room to room preparing for the show, Velvette found herself wandering into the corner where her flagship model stashed her things. 

Velvette slowly opened the drawer at the vanity and did nothing but brushes and other makeup tools with perfume and press-on nail sets. Velvette purses her lips, opening every drawer. She is just about the exit when she spots a purse on the floor near the vanity mirror. She bends down, grabbing it. She rifles through the bag, tossing things on the floor like condoms, pads, tampons, mineral water, juice powder packets, laxatives, tissues, phone chargers, energy bars, candy, and chocolate.

“Ugh, I need to make that girl a diet plan,” She rolls her eyes

Tossing and tossing a neck pillow, headphones, weed in a baggie, rolling paper, and a lighter. Velvette gets frustrated to the point where she just turns the purse upside down dumping everything else out and dropping the bag on the ground alongside it. Something catches the light in the room, the doll bends on the ground and picks it up. It’s the chain that Voe had on when she came in. She held it up to the light and read the name on the end of the chain, then took a picture. She drops it back down and wipes her hands on her jeans.

“Melissa!” she calls “Clean this up!”

Voe stands backstage adjusting her clothes waiting for her turn to go out. She pushes up her breasts, making it more comfortable for her. Her hair was up in a curly high ponytail with loose wave curls cascading down the front, that framed her face. Her dress is a rose red covered in sparkles with a long slit up her leg and one strap over her shoulder. The makeup had covered her bruises and around her neck was a rose quartz choker with a large letter V adorning her chest. She looked amazing, and for once, she hoped- though it was unlikely- that Alastor was watching.

“You see if you wanna get the right dick pic, angles matter. You can’t just take any random shot,” Angel says to a male demon “I know I’m a dude, but I know what the ladies like”

Angel’s conversation was cut short as he felt a dense object hit his head twice. He turns his head in confusion and frustration.

“Heh?”

It’s Alastor, retracting his cane and placing it down by his side “You. Effeminate spider,”

“What? Heh? Oh. What’dya need Smiles? Changin’ ya mind about somethin’?” Angel shimmies his shoulders

Alastor emits radio feedback “No,” his tone is even “Turn on the television,”

“Okay…?” he picks up the remote and turns the TV on “Didn’t think you were into fashion, Smiles,” Angel jokes

Alastor rolls his eyes and focuses them on the television as Voe walks out on the runway. They can hear applause through the TV.

“Here’s Voe the Beau! The basis for this entire collection, wearing a sparkling rose red one-strap gown designed and created by Velvette!”

Alastor’s eyes are plastered to the screen unmoving, he is emitting a low radio hum that gets louder by the second. Angel pokes his arm with a finger. Alastor’s eyes turn black.

“Uh, Smiles? I can’t the television,”

“Voe! Voe!” she’s called by a reporter. Voe approaches the demon’s microphone, pushing her hair out of her face. “How does it feel to be in your first show?”

Voe smiles brightly “It feels amazing, especially since I helped plan it. I am so lucky to be where I am today, in terms of status and opportunities. I am so grateful to be in the position I am,”

“Who would you say is your inspiration for all the confidence you have?”

She stares blankly for a moment “I’m sorry, I was thinking of my parents. I can only credit them for my confidence. But they’re not dead so,” she chuckles

“We heard today is your birthday is that true?”

She nods “Indeed it is. I have existed for 28 years now,” her smile lights up the screen

“Lots of demons on the internet claim that you could make quite the Overlord. Perhaps even more powerful than the Radio Demon or even the Vees themselves, how do you respond?”

Voe has a look of shock on her face “I’ve heard the word ‘Overlord” thrown around, and some people have said they were willing to give me their souls, but I’ve never thought about overtaking any other current Overlord. Especially not the ones that got me here in the first place.” She catches a glimpse of Vox behind the audience.

“Are you aware that if you did become an Overlord, that would make you a new generation?” A younger reporter asks

She leans down to the mic “I did think about that. Maybe I should become one and try to shake things up!” She jokes and laughs

“We can always count on you Voe, to stand out!” one reporter finished

She grins at the camera, putting up two peace signs, before the broadcast returns to the overall show.

“You can turn it off now,” Alastor tells Angel as he walks away

“Oh, he’s got it bad…” Angel grins

When Voe returns backstage she glances over and sees Vox glaring at her as he whispers to Velvette. He watches her up until she disappears behind the curtain. She was told not to touch anything on her, so she stood waiting for people to undress her and remove her makeup and hair. 

“Alright, let’s wrap it up! Treat these dresses better than you treat yourselves! They’re worth more than your lives!” Velvette approaches Voe “You, my love were perfect tonight!” she cradles Voe’s chin

Voe is flattered “Thank you! Couldn’t have done it without you,”

“Oh now stop it, don’t get humble on me now,”

“No, I mean it. You’re a great boss,”

“And you are the best employee any sinner could ask for,” She boops Voe’s nose “Seeing you out there, had me thinking you’re practically one of us,” Velvette grins

Voe is confused “One of who?”

“The Vees of course,” the doll spreads her arms apart “Wouldn’t even have to change your name,”

“Oh, I’m not sure if I’m welcome,” she takes a step back

Velvette takes a step forward “Oh you, will always be welcome here,”

“Really?” Voe’s hair falls “Vox doesn’t seem to like me very much,”

“Don’t worry about Vox, he’s a big baby,”

“I thought he was in charge,”

“No, I’m in charge. You listen to me. Okay?”

Voe nods “Okay,”

“By the way,” she turns to face Voe “What’s with all the hickies on your neck earlier?”

Voe blushes “Oh that, I um, just got a bit adventurous.”

“Oooh, with who?” Vel raises an eyebrow

Voe shrugs it off “Just a friend,”

“A friend huh? You wouldn’t lie to me would you darling?”

She shakes her head “Of course not,”

“Hmm, very well. Would you like a ride home?”

“I think I’ll be fine on my own. Thank you,”

Velvette puts on a fake smile “Well goodnight darling,” she waves

“Goodnight,” Voe walks away to get redressed

Velvette keeps the smile until Voe disappears around the corner. Vox appears in the room via one of his cameras, his comrade turns to face him.

“If you’re going to do something then do it fast,”

Vox chuckles “What’s the rush, my dear Velvette? I want to make sure that my moves are perfect,”

Velvette crosses her arms “You know they’re fucking,”

Vox rolls his eyes “Valentino and one of his new whores? Yeah-“

“No, not Valentino! Alastor and Voe!”

Vox’s eyes turn wide and hypnotic “What did you just say?”

“Voe is fucking Alastor, or Alastor is fucking Voe, either way! They’re getting much too close for comfort!”

“How…do you know this?” He leans down to be at eye level with her, looking angrier by the moment

“I saw today when she was changing. She had a fucking plethora of fucking hickies and while she was getting her makeup done, I saw in her bag a necklace with Alastor’s name on it!”

Vox’s eyes grow large “A what?” he tries to keep his volume low, as if that equates to keeping calm. 

Velvette shows him the picture she took and Vox’s rage increases. “You need to fix your plan to drive a wedge between them,”

Vox laughs stiffly “Are you jealous that your new toy is fucking Alastor?”

“Are you jealous that Alastor isn’t fucking you?!” The doll bites back

The two Overlords stare intensely before lunging at each other, going into a full-on make-out session. They start removing each other’s clothes as Valentino enters. 

“Oh, what the fuck?!”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Voe enters the empty hotel. It was quiet and dark, so she didn’t have to answer questions or entertain conversation. She went straight to her room, stripped immediately, and hopped in the shower. Finally able to put an end to this straight hair. They had always liked it curly. When she finished, she came and sat on her bed in a towel, flopping down on her back. She had no energy to cover herself with lotion at this moment in time. She hears a knock at her door and groans quietly. She gets up and opens it.

“Guess who? It’s your favorite Overlord!” Alastor sounds cheery

Voe widens the door “Hmm, I don’t know if you’re my favorite.”

“Now my dear, I thought we weren’t going to lie to each other,”

“When did we agree to that?”

Alastor squints “Touché. May I come in?”

“What are you? A vampire?’ She walks towards the bed, gesturing for him to enter

“So how was your night darling? You looked fabulous!” he closes the door behind him

She flops back on the bed “It was nice. Fun.”

“You looked wonderful,” He edges closer to her bed “From your dress to your beautiful smile,”

Voe sits up “Aw thanks. A compliment on my smile means a lot from you,” she says jokingly with a smirk

“Of course. I’d do anything for the birthday girl,” he boops her nose

“Anything?”

He nods “Anything,”

“Would you…put lotion on me?”

He smiles warmly “Of course my dear!” He dissipates his cane

She sits up and hands him the lotion “Start with my legs please,” She bats her lashes at him, but he is already on his knees, removing his coat and rolling up his sleeves.

He takes her feet one at a time into his hands “Ha, I haven’t seen toes in a while,”

She giggles “Lucky me, right?”

He holds her big toe in between his fingers “Lucky indeed,” then pokes the sole of her foot, causing her to squirm and giggle some more

“What was it like when you first saw yourself after you died?” He hesitates “I will admit, it was surprising at first. I didn’t know what to make of it,”

“What did you think of being a deer?”

“Ah. Quite surprising, but I got used to it.”

She smiles “Do you think it was a downgrade?”

“From how I used to look?”

“Yes,”

“Hmm, no. I feel more powerful now.”

The doe sits up “Well of course you do, but were you more attractive?”

“I wasn’t focused on that dear,”

“Well, I’m asking you now,”

“And I don’t know,”

She crosses her arms as Alastor gently runs his hands over her calves “Hmm, I think I’m more attractive now,”

“I wish I could have seen you before the upgrade,” He smirks up at her

Voe chuckles “Eh, I don’t look that much different,” she looks down at him 

“Your parents were so lucky to have created someone so beautiful,”

Voe hums in agreement, staring off into the distance. She thought of her parents and her little sister. She thought of their support, talks with her father, days out with her mother, and how her sister admired her. She didn’t even notice the tears running down her cheeks until she began sniffling.

Alastor’s head snaps up “Did I hurt you? I apologize,” he removes his hands

Voe shakes her head “No, it’s not you. It-it’s nothing,” she wipes her tears

“Now I know we never promised, but I would like it if you did not keep things from me,” his voice is soft, quite unlike how it was when they first met

Voe rolls her eyes up “I just…I miss my mom,” she chuckles through the tears, wiping them

His gaze softens “That is not nothing darling. We’ve all had days where we’ve cried about our parents. Wonder what and how they’re doing. Maybe think of telling them how your day was, and then you realize that you can’t,” He looks up again and her tears are rolling down harder. He blushes “My intention was not to make this worse. I apologize again,”

Voe shakes her head “Don’t apologize,” she barely gets out and tries to hide her face

He stands and pulls at her hands “Don’t hide from me,” he lifts her chin as the tears continue down her cheeks. He wipes her tears with his thumb.

“I miss my mom, my dad, and my little sister. Every year on my birthday I would do whatever, so that’s why I didn’t think of them earlier. At the end of the night though, I would always come home to them with a homemade cake and they would sing Happy Birthday to me, I didn’t realize that I missed it until I came home tonight to nothing. It was dark and silent! It made me think of all the birthday songs I took for granted!” The tears run down like a waterfall. 

Alastor remains silent, as he listens to her and thinks of the touching moments with his mother.

“They never knew! Never knew what I was really like! They saw me as a wonderful beautiful person! I know for a fact that they believe I went to Heaven, and here I am down here with the Hitlers and the KKK and serial killers, no offense,” she sniffles some more and he nods “They never got to know that I was an awful person!” she sobs, dropping her head

“Now hold on,” he touches her arm “You made mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, but that doesn’t mean you are a terrible person,” he holds her as she continues to cry

“Who are you? Where is Alastor?” she laughs as the tears flow

“Huh, I haven’t the slightest idea,” he kisses her hair as she laughs into his chest.

“My mom, she used to sing this song she wrote for me whenever I was sad,” she takes her time breathing “I hummed it to you before, when you were upset,”

Alastor raises his eyebrows “I should love to hear it,”

Chapter 18>

[theharrowing]

Collateral 🗡️ POV: Seokjin

After a successful day of scheming, Seokjin calls his favorite plaything to join him and Hoseok for a little fun. 

PREVIOUS | INDEX | NEXT

❗ THIS IS A CHARACTER POV CHAPTER!!!

if you do not wish to perceive any POV that is not the main character, please feel free to skip this one!

🗡️Seokjin x Hoseok

🗡️ word count: 7.2k

🗡️ mafia au, dishonest characters, established relationship, bdsm, poly, smut, angst, fluff, nsfw, explicit, 21+

🗡️ warnings: top Seokjin with mention of bottom Hoseok; top Hoseok & bottom Seokjin; scheming; mention of the use of heroin; use of the word "whore" not meant derogatorily, but not always kindly; allusion to puppy play; talk of manufacturing and selling drugs with the purpose of getting people addicted; shower play; enema play; light humiliation; ass eating & fingering; Seokjin is...morally grey at best.

🗡️ notes: mc is referred to in 3rd person (she/her) pronouns for this chapter! listen: Seokjin is not the nicest person, so please take the way he speaks with a grain of salt. it is hard to put everyone's full intentions into the POV scenes because i still need there to be surprises later on!!! but i feel like this is going to really help to solidify the way many of you feel about this character hehehe. i hope you enjoy!

🗡️ early draft beta read by @blog-name-idk - with minor unbeta'd edits done since.

🗡️ posted march 2024 - originally jan. 2023 | read on ao3

"She's not going to go for it," Hoseok teases as he reaches around Seokjin's broad shoulders from behind and straightens out his burgundy satin tie. 

Seokjin's tie matches a fitted burgundy Armani suit, which he wears with a cream undershirt. His hair is pushed off his forehead, bringing together the look.

He has a meeting at House of Cards with some investors who are looking to build near the Shin territory just outside Busan, in a smaller port city, and Seokjin wants to make sure those men are on Yoongi's side if push should come to shove. 

But first, he plans to make a stop by the mansion to discuss something with Yoongi's little pet. 

"She doesn't have to go for it," Seokjin responds, watching Hoseok's reflection with adoration swelling behind his lungs. Recently, Hoseok has been letting his hair grow out, and he looks devastating with dark brown waves falling past his eyes and longer bits tucked behind his ears.

Hoseok raises an eyebrow and cocks his head, done with his task and letting his arms hang over Seokjin's shoulders. Seokjin spins on the balls of his socked feet and wraps his arms around Hoseok's waist, pulling him close. 

"I am merely planting a seed. I want the actual idea to be hers when the time comes."

Hoseok grins. "Elaborate."

"Well," Seokjin says, "for starters, the plan is terrible. Shipping her off to Busan for a week—or whatever the span of a vacation may be—is hardly enough time to turn her into an informant. She is smart enough to know that much. But I will pose it to her that way, insisting Yoongi cannot know, which will force her to stew on it. I know she wants revenge for the recent attack on Jimin at Paradise, and if Shin sends any more men to try to shake us up, it will only fuel her fire."

"And you want her to do this, because...?"

Seokjin chuckles. "Because, my love, Ryujin has always responded best to the friendships and authority of women. As sweet and empathetic as Hyunjin is, she has not gotten as close to him as we hoped. Yoongi's wolf cub, on the other hand, is the perfect bait. Not to mention, she comes from the honey bee ring, which Ryujin will sympathize with."

"And if Ryujin recognizes her from Serendipity?"

Seokjin pouts, sticking his lip out and down-turning his eyes. "Seokie, baby, you pretend I haven't thought of absolutely everything, and it wounds me."

With a roll of his pretty eyes and a soft giggle, Hoseok says, "Then humor me, love."

Seokjin rubs the tip of his nose against Hoseok's, then places a soft kiss, making Hoseok smile widely. "All we have to do is spread a rumor that Yoongi has harmed or upset her in some way. Nothing too damaging to his reputation, just a simple whisper. Ryujin may be hesitant, but, given her feelings about Yoongi, I think she will fall for it."

Hoseok leans in and mimics Seokjin's motion, rubbing their noses together, making Seokjin's heart pound just a little bit harder. "And if Ryujin doesn't believe the rumors? We don't think Yoongi was abusive to her at any point?"

"Not abusive..." Seokjin drifts off, squinting slightly while he chooses his words. "But when his parents died, he went off the deep end with drugs. All the voices have to whisper is the word heroin, and her ears will perk up."

Hoseok purses his lips, thinking over what Seokjin says but looking unconvinced.

"And anyway, she's competitive," Seokjin continues, gently kissing the tip of Hoseok's nose, "even if she doesn't buy the rumor," Seokjin kisses the apple of Hoseok's cheek, "Ryujin might still take her in, thinking she can convert her to actually become part of her family."

"Or, she might kill her," Hoseok responds with a pointed gaze.

Seokjin places a kiss on Hoseok's other cheek as he shrugs. "Sometimes, the cat must wet its feet, no matter its dislike of water, in order to eat fish."

A soft, pretty chuckle comes from Hoseok, who presses his lips against Seokjin's and then mutters, "Idioms to describe a human life, Jinnie bear? Tsk tsk."

Seokjin hums, says, "Sacrifices need to be made for the greater good," and licks over Hoseok's lips until his partner parts them, pulling him into an eager but soft kiss. 

Time comes to a halt in Hoseok's arms, and Seokjin holds him tight, kissing slow and deep, savoring each taste, touch, and sound. There is nothing in the world quite like being in his lover's arms. Even the joy of watching the light die in his enemy's eyes pales in comparison. Seokjin thinks that he would do absolutely anything for Hoseok.

"Join me?" Seokjin asks. "She may be more comfortable with you around; you seem to have made a better impression on her, anyway."

"Fine," Hoseok mutters. "But I do not condone a plan that may get her killed, just so we're clear." Seokjin playfully rolls his eyes, and Hoseok smacks him on the shoulder as he continues, "I do like the idea of her running off to Busan for a while. For her sake and for Yoongi's."

"Oh?" Seokjin asks with a curious cock of the head, studying the microexpressions that tug gently at Hoseok's lips and eyes. To the untrained pupil, one would hardly notice these quirks, but Seokjin sees everything. Hoseok is nervous.

"Namjoon thinks he's becoming unhinged again," Hoseok finally says. "Slipping from reality. He's worried about another bender...so your plan to tell the voices about heroin use seems more grounded in reality than you realize."

"And you think taking her away from him won't just make him worse?" Seokjin teases, bending at the knees to smack a kiss on Hoseok's chin. 

Hoseok nibbles on his bottom lip, considering his words. "I think she needs to spend more time out of the house, and out from under Yoongi's shadow. He is still very controlling, despite her willingness to stay, and whenever she's not directly in his line of sight, he gets paranoid and on edge."

Seokjin mulls it over. "I have noticed he is on edge more when we are away from home for extended periods."

"He needs to break out of that loop. We can't have a mad king on our hands. Especially one who could raze the city to the ground."

"So, we need to somehow get him to grant her more freedom, in a way that does not cause Yoongi to completely lose his shit," Seokjin clarifies.

Hoseok nods. "I'll talk to Namjoon about it."

"Good plan."

And with that, Seokjin presses one more kiss against Hoseok's lips, then releases him, linking their hands together as they make their way out of their bedroom, through the hallway, and down the stairs. 

"And what is our excuse for visiting the mansion?" Hoseok asks as Seokjin sits on a charcoal grey chaise lounge beside the front door, reaching for a pair of black wingtip shoes. Seokjin slides his feet into both and begins tying the laces on one after the other. 

"I am either going to catch Yoongi before he leaves for the day and discuss what he would like me to say to the investors this afternoon," Seokjin sighs, "or I will message to let him know that I was trying to catch him before he left, yadda, yadda, yadda."

As Seokjin stands and rubs his hands over his slacks to straighten them out, Hoseok pulls his black shirt sleeve back to reveal an elegant black timepiece. "He should be home for another fifteen minutes, assuming Namjoon is making him punctual and not late."

With a pleased hum, Seokjin offers an elbow and says, "The weather is nice. Shall we walk?"

The weather truly is beautiful, and the two of them take their time, walking hand in hand along the gravel path. Seokjin does not like to be nostalgic, but it is hard not to smile as he remembers the years spend in this secluded stretch of trees with Hoseok, before there were mansions on the property, and they would steal away to be alone.

As timing will have it, Yoongi and Namjoon are just about to leave when Seokjin and Hoseok arrive. Seokjin can hear the two of them laughing on the other side of the bulletproof door and opts to use the large brass knocker rather than scan his retinas, and all that. 

The door swings open to Namjoon's tired but smiling face, and he walks outside, followed by Yoongi. They are in their standard black outfits, and Yoongi wears a cardigan rather than a blazer. Seokjin wonders what the two of them may be up to; Yoongi only mentioned meeting with some people concerning the mess Jeongguk recently made—which, Seokjin thinks, is a very flippant way to address a killing spree. 

"Gentlemen," Yoongi calls with his arms held wide, "to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

"Looking sharp, Jin," Namjoon mutters, making Seokjin grin. 

"My reason to visit today is twofold," Seokjin begins. "I was hoping the chef was in so I could have a plate of his fabulous eggs benedict.

"Of course," Yoongi responds with a smile. 

"And, I wanted to let you know that I will be meeting with the Choi brothers about their desire to open a casino near Busan."

Yoongi hums and then nods. "The chef is in, although, I am surprised you haven't perfected the recipe on your own."

With a shrug, Seokjin lies, "There is something about his hollandaise sauce that I cannot quite nail, but he refuses to give me the recipe." 

The truth is that the chef adds horseradish rather than dijon mustard, and just a dash of dried ginger, giving it more of a bite. Seokjin figured it out almost immediately, but he likes that the chef can whip it up on a whim, saving him the trouble of purchasing the ingredients and doing it himself.

"And the men?" Yoongi asks as he reaches into his front pants pocket, pulls out a metal cigarette case, and opens it, revealing a row of perfectly rolled joints. 

"Shall we offer to buy them, or shall we threaten them?" Seokjin simply asks.

With a smirk and a shrug, Yoongi pulls a joint to his lips, muttering, "Offer first, threaten second?"

Seokjin nods, watching as Namjoon pulls a lighter from his pocket and ignites Yoongi's joint, feeling glad that the two of them are finally able to be together once more. Yoongi needs a lapdog more than anything, and Namjoon is the perfect fit. 

"Excellent," Seokjin says with a small bow, "then I will be on my way to the kitchen. Shall I order an extra serving for the wolf cub?"

Yoongi takes a long drag of the joint, holds it in, and then slowly lets it out, creating a plume of skunky smoke between them. "I doubt she'll be up for another hour or so."

Perfect, Seokjin thinks; he actually was hoping to be fed. "Sounds good."

The front door hadn't been closed completely, so Seokjin enters the mansion easily, stepping aside to remove his shoes while Hoseok does the same. They close the door tight and make their way toward the kitchen. 

"You're so hot when you lie," Hoseok mutters, leaning in close enough for Seokjin to smell his cologne.

Seokjin twists and bends to place a kiss on Hoseok's lips, saying, "As are you, my love."

* * *

Despite having to wait more than thirty minutes on the balcony for Yoongi's darling to wake up, Seokjin considers their little meeting a success. He was certainly able to get into her head and could tell she was not ready to completely write off the idea of taking a trip by the time they made their exit, giving him just enough time to get into town on schedule for his meeting.

House of Cards is a raucous place even in the daytime when fewer men are around to throw away their money. The machines ding and play loud soundtracks, and televisions blare with various sport and fighting events. 

Seokjin enters through the main doors after leaving his sedan with valet, and he walks past all the drunks and coke heads with a straight face, making his way to his decoy office on the main floor to meet with some men whom Namjoon claims are going to be good for business if they can manage to keep him on their good side, and bad for business if they do not. 

Frankly, Seokjin could hardly give a fuck about what is good for business—Yoongi has inherited one of the oldest families in Korea, and by far the wealthiest. House of Cards brings in money simply by existing, and he hardly has to do any actual work. The boxing nights were Jeongguk's idea because he likes watching men fight to the death, and the wealth gained from those simply fuels the family's more expensive drug habits. 

The Shins in the east hardly have a stronghold on their own docks, and the Songs in the south are happy to form an alliance when the price is right, showing loyalty to no one but their own pockets.

Rumor has it the Song family turned down the Choi men because they do not wish to be in the business of entertaining tourists, and a casino might bring in the wrong crowds. Let the tourists flock to Jeju, they say, and Seokjin agrees. The Shins, on the other hand, are desperate for anything they can get their fingers on, and more or less offered them a stretch of land. 

All Seokjin has to do is offer the Choi brothers more money and an illusion of influence. Seems like the easiest thing in the world. The only variable he thinks that could possibly make those men want to side with the Shins would be an old family bond or rivalry, and as far as he can tell, these men have neither. So now, all he has to do is meet with them and find out what he can find out. 

Seokjin has a way with men. A look, a gesture, and a veiled threat are all he needs to get them talking. He has no doubt he will be able to make these men sing. 

* * *

Seokjin barely manages to light a cigar before his phone rings. The Choi brothers left mere minutes ago, and Seokjin had been hoping for a moment of alone time, but it is his informant who has been living with the Shin family, which makes this call potentially very important.

"Hyunjin, darling, what's the news?"

Seokjin sits back in his large, black leather chair, listening to the shocks whine as he leans, bending the springs a bit too far. He is in his real office on the second floor, and has a cigar between his teeth, slurring his words around it while he holds his cell phone to his ear. His informant, who works on Ryujin's drug-running team, sighs. 

"She plans to intercept Yoongi's next shipment of pills. Apparently, one of his dock men was bought. A man by the name of Kang Daesung is going to steal the shit."

"Fuckers," Seokjin mutters, spit flying from his lips. He takes a puff from the cigar and holds the smoke in, then lets it out with a bitter huff. It feels lackluster now, and he gently stubs the cigar out on a golden ashtray, then sets it aside to let it extinguish itself the rest of the way. 

Shin has really been coming for the drug operations, which has Seokjin feeling concerned for Jeongguk's safety. And his sanity.

"I am also one of the only people who knows this information, so now that I have passed it along, I have put a target on my back."

Seokjin hums and considers his options. 

"You want to come home, or hop off the peninsula for a while?"

Another sigh comes through the line, and Seokjin gives him time to consider. Hyunjin has been with the Shin family long enough that leaving the country may be his best bet, but he does have a family of his own, which could complicate things. 

When Hyunjin does not respond, Seokjin says, "We can get your little girl into a prestigious American school. Or Australian; there are plenty of Koreans in Australia. And we could assist with getting you and the wife nice jobs." 

"Yeah," Hyunjin says. "Yeah, you're right. I'll think it over and talk to Jisu. Maybe Australia would be good."

"Let me know," Seokjin says as he thumbs through his files, opening a folder that reads "Hwang Hyunjin'' and pulling out documents. "Your passport is current, and I have a burner identity on the books with a line of credit. I can have you on a flight within an hour, any time, day or night, alright?"

"Thank you, Seokjin-ssi."

As they end the call, Seokjin pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. He hates giving Yoongi bad news. This will also put another man in Jeongguk's crosshairs, and Seokjin really hopes that hunting him down will not also include killing fourteen of this man's closest friends. 

Seokjin dials Yoongi and is surprised he picks up on the first ring. "Jin."

"Yoongichi, bad news." 

Yoongi sighs and hums, and Seokjin continues. "Hwang called. Says Kang is planning to switch teams and sabotage the next shipment of pills."

"She bought him, eh?" Yoongi asks. 

"Yup."

"Fuckers."

"Yup."

"What about Hwang?"

"I offered him an out, and he said he would think about it. Considering Australia."

"Sounds good. I may call everyone to meet later. Taehyung has an engagement until nine, so it will be a late one if I do."

"Alright. I'm headed home soon. Should have my hands full for a few hours, so after nine is perfect."

"Thanks, Jin."

"No problem."

At least Yoongi's tone was pretty flat; no reaction from Yoongi is the best reaction. Especially if Namjoon is worried about him falling off the rails. 

This bump in the road aside, Seokjin considers the day a win, and he lifts his cigar, fits it between his lips, and lights it back up before locking up and heading out.

* * *

Seokjin My winning streak continues. This calls for celebration.

Hoseok In the pink dollhouse room?

Seokjin Of course, baby. Where else?

Hoseok ETA?

Seokjin 1 hour. Going to make a pitstop. I called Puppy, and he will be there in 20.

Hoseok  I'll be home to get our guest ready.

Seokjin Thank you, baby.

Hoseok  Anything for you, Jinnie bear.

To celebrate, Seokjin calls Hyungwon—his and Hoseok's favorite whore—to join them in one of the dollhouse rooms. Hoseok is home to get him ready while Seokjin stops at one of the boutiques to buy him a white leather muzzle that is shaped to fit a dog, with pointed ears on top and a pretty pink bow in the center. 

The pièces de résistance, however, is a bar inside the muzzle for Hyungwon to bite down on, ideally making a mess of himself with drool. 

One of Hyungwon's favorite toys is an anal plug with a long white tail, and Seokjin wants to see him with a pretty new accessory to match it. And, although Seokjin has plenty of items like this in his puppy playhouse room, this muzzle is a gift specifically for his most special whore. He is feeling rather generous tonight.

The drive home is short and sweet, and when Seokjin arrives, he is pleased to see a motorcycle parked in the driveway and light shining through the sheer white curtains of the first room on the second floor, confirming that Hyungwon has, in fact, already arrived, and that Hoseok must be getting him ready. 

Seokjin always finds it incredible how the man can strip down from all his worn, thick leather and stand in the prettiest pink lingerie, and he laments briefly that he was not home to witness the transformation. 

When Jimin first hired Hyungwon at Paradise, Seokjin thought that, perhaps, the heavens had opened up and shined just for him. He has a cold indifference to him that makes Seokjin want to break him apart and make him sob. And he does.

Hyungwon is the only man who allows Seokjin to do every little sadistic thing he desires, then leaves at the end of the session with a soft kiss and a promise to return. Seokjin treasures him dearly. 

Many whores blacklist him for less. 

Of course, now that Jimin has returned to their bed, Hyungwon may have to take second place, but that is a discussion for another time. Seokjin is eager to make Jimin sob again and again, but he worries about coming on too strongly and scaring him off. Jimin has always been quite sensitive, which Seokjin will never understand, but he does his best to respect it.

Seokjin takes his time exiting the car, grabbing the black paper shopping bag with an expensive monogram on all sides. He knows the men have heard his car pull up, and he wants to draw out the anticipation and make them wait. 

Hoseok, in particular, hates to wait. His temper is as explosive as the incendiary devices he so enjoys crafting, and Seokjin takes pleasure in pushing his buttons.

As he punches the hex code of his partner's favorite shade of sunshine yellow into the door and waits for the device to scan his retina, Seokjin takes a deep breath and allows a hint of a smile to creep over his face.

Things within the family have been a bit of a mess lately, but everything seems to be going fairly well, aside from their drug runner turning heel. Men on the lower ranks tend to chase money, after all; they are no stranger to these types of incidents.

If he can ensure the Choi brothers remain loyal and convince Yoongi's darling to leave town for a while, everything might even be perfect for some time. Seokjin hesitates to dwell on the thought.

Once inside, Seokjin closes the front door as quietly as he can and has a seat on his chaise lounge to remove his wingtips one at a time, placing them carefully beside the rows of footwear. Then, he takes the handles of the bag gently in his fingers and creeps up to the second floor, stalking like a tiger in the hope of catching the men off guard. 

He can hear their voices coming from the room, though what they are saying is difficult to make out. Hoseok has an excited lilt to his voice, and Hyungwon is speaking too softly to be detected clearly. Hyungwon is often quite soft-spoken—another thing Seokjin enjoys about him. 

As Seokjin gets to the top of the stairs, he forgets that the landing step is particularly creaky, putting down his weight as the wood whines beneath his toes. He lets out the breath that he had been holding, dropping his head in a defeated sigh as a tuft of brown hair shoots out from the first door on the right, and Seokjin spots his partner. 

"Gotta get that step fixed," Seokjin complains as he straightens his posture and smooths down his burgundy jacket. 

Hoseok grins from ear to ear, and he stands in the doorway to the pink dollhouse room with his hair disheveled and the top four buttons of his dress shirt undone. The sight of exposed sun-kissed skin has Seokjin's heart thudding behind his ribs, and he lifts a brow, playfully assessing the sight. 

"Did my puppies begin without me?" he teases as he approaches with his shoulders hunched forward to give Hoseok the impression that he is stalking his prey.

Hoseok chuckles, and Seokjin can tell he is feeling shy from the accusation as he bites his lip and shakes his head. "Hyungwon messed up my hair because he wanted you to think we had started without you. But we are being good puppies, I promise."

With a hum, Seokjin stalks further, watching Hoseok become increasingly antsy the closer he gets. "And is he all ready for me?"

"He is," Hoseok beams, taking a step back to allow Seokjin to enter the room. 

Seokjin, however, pounces, pressing Hoseok into the far side of the door frame and caging him in with his arms, giving him nowhere to go. With a hand on the dollhouse room wall and the hand holding onto the shopping bag on the hallway wall, Seokjin towers over his partner and gazes down at him hungrily.

"But are you ready for me?"

A silly question, since a stipulation to being Seokjin's lover is to be ready at all times. Hoseok cleans himself every morning, and he inserts a plug every time Seokjin is expected to be home so that there is very little need for prep and Seokjin can take what he wants. 

Of course, Seokjin is no monster; if they are unable to engage in play, Hoseok simply removes the plug—or gets himself off and then removes it—ensuring that it does not stay nestled up inside him long enough to cause any kind of complications or health risks. 

But Seokjin tries to be very clear about his expectations, and they communicate their schedules in order to make sure Hoseok can be ready for him at the drop of a hat. Seokjin's appetite is insatiable, and it is not unusual for them to fuck five or six nights a week. One of the reasons they invite so many whores to play dress up and join them is to give Hoseok a little extra help. That, and whores tend to come pre-used.

A plus side of fucking Jimin back in the day was when he would come home from the club, already stretched from his clients. Even when he would whine about being sore and sensitive, he would be such a good, pliant boy for Seokjin. Not a day goes by that Seokjin doesn't dream about the sweet sounds Jimin would make, becoming an overstimulated, sobbing mess long before either of them would reach their first orgasm. 

Hoseok's smile falters ever so slightly, and Seokjin already knows what he is going to say. He must have assumed that, because they have a guest for the night, Hoseok would not be expected to be stretched. He should know by now that when Seokjin calls with good news, that a victory fuck is in order, whether or not they are tending to a guest for the evening. 

And this, Seokjin thinks, is the danger of falling in love. Years ago, Seokjin would plot ways to punish his puppy for being so short-sighted and disobedient. But now? Staring into his deep brown eyes, downturned beneath a knit brow, all Seokjin wants to do is kiss him and tell him everything will be alright. His heart has become soft. 

Before Hoseok can excuse his bad behavior, Seokjin plants a soft smooch on the tip of his nose and grins. "I'm kidding," he assures softly. 

"You're not," Hoseok groans as relief paints his face. 

"I'm not," Seokjin admits, taking a step back and allowing Hoseok to breathe. "But I am in too good of a mood to make you cry."

"Lucky me," Hoseok teases with a wink. 

Seokjin leans in and places a kiss on Hoseok's forehead, then enters the room. The walls are all painted cotton candy pink, and there is a large bed on the left with plush pink bedding and a white wrought iron sleigh frame with beautiful spiral designs at the head and foot—perfect for attaching restraints. 

Hoseok's favorite addition to the room is a pale pink sex swing that hangs from the center of the space, with vines wrapped around the long arms that stretch to the ceiling. Seokjin is partial to the vanity with a large mirror that is very sturdy and perfect for humiliation play. 

The wooden furniture and wainscoting are all painted pink with gold accents, the floor is covered in pink carpeting and large, white cloud-shaped rugs, and every light fixture is a giant, white orb. In the corner of the room furthest from the bed is a chair in the shape of a giant pink high-heel, and when Seokjin enters, that is where he finds their guest. 

Hyungwon is breathtaking in sheer pink babydoll lingerie with little ruffled sleeves that hang from his shoulders, and a skirt that falls just above his thighs. He reclines on the shoe chair with one knee bent, bare foot adorned with pretty silver chains and rings, perched delicately atop the chair, and the other leg down, spread slightly to accommodate for the chair's width. His hair is long enough to be styled behind his ears—straight and black as a raven's feather—and he wears a thick silver choker of shimmering zirconias and a glittery lip balm.

"Master Seokjin," Hyungwon states as he moves from his reclined position—which Seokjin assumes he only sat in to be a tease, in the first place—and slowly lifts his leg, leaning forward and getting onto his hands and knees. "You look ravishing tonight, sir."

Seokjin turns to Hoseok with a puzzled expression, then back to Hyungwon, "Baby, did you give our pet permission to speak?"

"I did not, sir," Hoseok responds simply, standing near the wall with his arms flat at his sides. "But you do look ravishing tonight, sir."

How in the world Seokjin wound up with two disobedient puppies, he will never know, but he cannot bring himself to be upset when they are so devastatingly pretty and so good to him. Seokjin reaches to tap the underside of Hoseok's chin with the pad of his finger—a playful gesture that also tells him to keep that gorgeous fucking mouth of his closed unless he is asked to open it.

Hoseok smiles, winks, and does not say another word.

"I got you something," Seokjin beams as he turns back to Hyungwon, closing the gap between them. 

He reaches into the bag, pulls out the leather dog muzzle, and holds it up. Hyungwon's eyes widen, and a soft smile plays on his lips. If the man truly is excited, Seokjin has no idea; all he cares about is that he acts the part, as he is paid to do. And Hyungwon, as always, is a brilliant performer.

* * *

The shower down the hall in the guest bathroom runs as Seokjin pushes a hand through his hair, walking from the dollhouse room to his bedroom. His cream shirt is unbuttoned and hung open, burgundy pants are undone, and he is covered in a sheen of sweat. 

Hyungwon practically needed to be carried away when Seokjin was finished with him, and Hoseok is currently assisting with washing him and tending to his various marks with creams. Seokjin was not too hard on him, but his nails did break skin a couple of times, and he spanked him until both cheeks were tomato red. 

Although it is getting late, Yoongi has called to request everyone to congregate at the mansion at the top of the hour. It gives Seokjin thirty-five minutes to change into a black dress shirt and slacks and see that Hyungwon is able to get home on his own or has a suitable bed to sleep in for the night. Ordinarily, Seokjin is not as kind to his whores, but after what he did to the guy's ass, he takes pity on him for driving out on a motorcycle. 

The sound of the shower shutting off is followed by muffled voices, and Seokjin shrugs out of his shirt, dropping it into a hamper near the closet door, and grabs a black shirt from a hanger. He attempts to listen for the men—to get a sense of whether or not Hyungwon will need to stay—but all he can make out is Hoseok's bright, happy laughter. 

Seokjin loves it when Hoseok laughs loud and unabashedly. It rings like music to his ears. 

"Baby?" Hoseok calls down the hallway. 

Seokjin takes a step out of the closet as he buttons his shirt and shouts, "Bedroom," then returns to the racks of clothing and wiggles out of his slacks, picking them up and placing them into the hamper, and then reaching for a black pair to slide into.

"Ah," Hoseok says as he rounds the corner and finds Seokjin dressed in all black. "Yoongi called."

"He did," Seokjin responds. 

"For all of us?"

"For all of us."

"Hyungwon should be good to drive, but I'll go check on him."

Seokjin flashes Hoseok a smile. "Thank you, love."

Once he is ready, Seokjin switches off the light and exits his and Hoseok's massive closet, then he leaves the bedroom and makes his way down the hall, to the pink dollhouse room. The dark wood wainscoting and blood-red walls adorned with pretty brass sconces is such an abrupt change of scenery compared to the pink playroom, and from time to time, it makes Seokjin chuckle softly when he leaves one atmosphere for the other. 

Hyungwon sits on the edge of the bed dressed in blue jeans, a blue and white flannel shirt, and a black leather jacket, with his hands in his lap. Hoseok stands before him, dabbing a salve to his lip, which Seokjin split from slapping a little too hard once the muzzle came off. To Seokjin's credit, Hyungwon was the one who begged him to hit him harder. 

As Seokjin enters, both men turn to him with smiles, and Seokjin leans against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. 

"How is our puppy feeling?"

"Amazing," Hyungwon responds, always saying so no matter which state he seems to be in. 

"Good. And I take it your ass isn't too sore for the bike?"

Hoseok shoots Seokjin an incredulous glare, which he pointedly ignores. 

Hyungwon chuckles quietly. "No, sir. Not too sore."

"Good. I will be downstairs, then." He turns his gaze to Hoseok. "Join me soon?"

Hoseok nods and screws the cap on his balm, then leans to place a soft kiss on Hyungwon's forehead as Seokjin takes his leave and goes downstairs, to the kitchen, to have a few shots of whiskey before heading out to Yoongi's place. 

It does not take long for the others to join him, and they bid Hyungwon farewell with kisses to his cheeks and forehead, then link hands and take the long way to Yoongi's property, up toward Taehyung's place and cutting through the gardens. It is eerie out here at night with low lighting and tall, dark shadows. They walk all the way around the mansion, to the front door, and find Taehyung and Jeongguk on the stoop, smoking a cigarette.

"Fellas," Seokjin calls, and everyone lifts their hand hello.

"Is it just us?" Hoseok asks, and Taehyung shakes his head, saying, "Jimin is inside."

Seokjin takes a puff from Taehyung's cigarette, then goes inside, happy to find Jimin and Namjoon seated on the couch as he takes his place on the far end. Seokjin assumes Yoongi would be upstairs and is surprised to see him enter through the front door with Taehyung and Jeongguk. Once they are all seated, Yoongi begins. 

"We have two orders of business, which are somewhat related. The first is that Jeonggukie has been working with a team to formalize a new type of ecstasy that contains amphetamines, to give the user more of an upper-type high. It will be smoother than the shit the Americans sell, which contain meth, and the users will crave the experience, ideally getting them hooked on it."

This news comes as somewhat of a surprise to Seokjin, but he does not show it, keeping his expression stoic. He is curious when Yoongi decided to pivot into selling drugs for the purpose of creating addicts, and thinks perhaps the man really is losing his mind. He sounds like his late father, which is no compliment.

Yoongi continues. "So far, the trials have been pretty positive, and we should have those on the streets within the next month, or so. Let Jeongguk know if you would like samples."

Yoongi sits up and sighs, "And for our second order of business, it seems our main dock man Kang has been bought, and he plans to fuck with our next shipment of pills. I will be orchestrating a hit some time this weekend."

"I can go," Jeongguk offers, and Seokjin is pleased when Yoongi holds his hand up, turning him down.

"I need you to stay here this weekend. I want us to start going to the range again, and there are some other things I want you around for. I'll put Changkyun on the job."

Jeongguk opens his mouth to complain, and Yoongi cuts him off. "Ggukie, we have men hired to carry out hits. Let me utilize them."

Silence falls, then Namjoon clears his throat. "Is there anything anyone else would like to share?"

Seokjin cannot believe everyone was called over for this, and he crosses his arms over his chest and glances around. When nobody says anything, he shrugs and says, "Guess that's it."

"Alright," Yoongi says as he slaps his palms over his knees and stands with a sigh. "I thought this would be more of a conversation, but it seems pretty cut and dry. Thanks for coming by."

Seokjin studies Yoongi as he stands, curious about what Namjoon sees that makes him so paranoid. There are bags under his eyes, and he seems quite tired, but he does not seem jittery or pale, or any of the other symptoms Seokjin tries to remember from his last bender. 

It could be his more recent shift in seeming colder than usual. Prior to the pet moving in upstairs, Yoongi even went so far as to have a nasty little violent streak. Still, violence is not an indicator of drug abuse.

Yoongi has always been good at hiding shit until it is really bad, however, and he has always been quite unreadable, wearing parts of himself on his sleeve while keeping the rest locked away. He hopes that Namjoon's suspicions are false, but nobody would know better than him.

With that, everyone stands to leave, including Yoongi. In fact, the only person who seems to hang back is Namjoon. They say good night, everyone begins to head back to their homes, and Namjoon locks up the mansion as Yoongi slides his hands into his pockets and sets off in the direction of Namjoon's home.

Something is definitely amiss, but Seokjin does not feel like asking. The warmth of Hoseok's hand pulls him from his thoughts as he is tugged in the direction of home.

When they return from the meeting that could have been a conversation via group text, Seokjin sits with a huff on his chaise lounge. He bends his leg to lift it in order to untie his shoe, but Hoseok drops to his knees and places a hand on Seokjin's foot, guiding it to the floor. 

"You seem off, baby," Hoseok mutters sweetly. "Let me take care of you."

With an affectionate smile, Seokjin crosses his arms over his chest and lets his posture droop in a sigh. "Always taking care of others."

Hoseok's eyes shine as he mutters, "I live to serve."

Seokjin chuckles and sits up straight as Hoseok removes one shoe, then the other, and places them neatly aside. "We both know that is untrue."

"Yes," Hoseok responds, also laughing. 

Seokjin leans forward, takes Hoseok's chin in his hand, and pulls him close. Hoseok strains to get near enough, sitting high on his knees, but Seokjin stays just out of reach as he says, "You can still take care of me, though."

He revels in the way Hoseok's tone drops as he asks, "And how would you like me to do that, baby?"

Seokjin begins to think of all the ways he would like to make Hoseok whine, but Hoseok continues, "It's been a while since you've submitted to me and completely let go of control."

It has been a while. Probably months. Seokjin mulls it over with a squint of his eyes. There is nothing in this world that he likes more than pulling sweet sounds from Hoseok's lips, but he knows that Hoseok also enjoys being in control. However, relinquishing power does not come easily to a man like Seokjin.

"You are correct," Seokjin finally responds. "It has been a while."

Hoseok's eyes glimmer with mirth, and even if Seokjin had not been considering it before, he would certainly cave now. With a nibble of his bottom lip, Seokjin leans close enough to kiss Hoseok. 

"I'll let you fuck me tonight. Give me twenty minutes to get ready?"

With a pout, Hoseok shakes his head. "I want to get you ready."

"Oh?"

"Please."

"Enema play, Seok? Really?"

Hoseok shrugs. "I want to watch you tremble and whimper as the water falls out."

Seokjin, admittedly, gets it. "Alright, let's go."

Hoseok is gentle as he takes Seokjin's hand and leads him up the stairs and down the hall to their master suite. He is gentle as he undresses him and leads him to their shower. Gentle when he bends Seokjin over—hands splayed on the white tile bench that runs along one wall—and inserts the nozzle of the enema. Seokjin gasps from the sensation; he hasn't done this in quite a while.

When Hoseok takes Seokjin by the hair and lifts his head, pulling him into a standing position, he is less gentle. Lifting the bag, which is full of tepid water, so that it can enter his body makes Seokjin gasp, sending a shudder through him. 

Hoseok holds his chin, firm and not very gently as he says, "Eyes on me," and slowly pulls the nozzle out, releasing the water to the floor of the shower. 

Seokjin keeps his eyes on Hoseok as the water rushes from him, a sensation that he thinks should not be in the least bit erotic. Hoseok knows that this is mildly humiliating, which, Seokjin thinks, is the reason he is insisting on it. 

Hoseok inserts the nozzle two more times, sending water rushing from Seokjin's rectum, holding him in place while they stare into one another's eyes. Warmth covers Seokjin's face in a mix of embarrassment and arousal, and when Hoseok bends him back over right there in the shower to eat him out, Seokjin practically blacks out. 

"Fuck, feels so good," he whimpers as Hoseok teases his hole with his tongue, circling the rim and prodding inside. 

"You like it, baby?" Hoseok groans, biting Seokjin's buttcheek and circling a finger over him, gently pushing inside and pulling out, making Seokjin sigh and tremble from pleasure-pain. 

"You know I do," Seokjin whines.

Hoseok groans. "Too bad I won't let you cum until you're begging and sobbing."

Evil. Pure fucking evil. Hoseok loves making someone like Seokjin beg. He whimpers before he can stop himself, and Hoseok chuckles and crashes a hand over his ass with a loud, wet smack.

"Come on, big boy," Hoseok sing-songs "Let's tie you to the bed and make you scream."

Seokjin already fears for his life, knowing that Hoseok will edge him for hours. But the earth-shattering orgasm that tears his world asunder, followed by Hoseok's sweet, pretty smile, makes everything worth it. How could he possibly resist?

*

THANK YOU FOR READINGGG!!!

i didn't give Hyungwon a relationship tag since he's not a main character in the story, nor does he appear again. for those of you who aren't monbebe, this is the man i was talking about:

i also remember being too exhausted to write a smut scene when i was putting this POV together, which is why we don't get to experiencing these three together hahaha. i think i wrote Hoseok and Seokjin back to back.

REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE THE LIFEBLOOD OF THIS SITE, BUT LIKES ARE ALSO SUPER APPRECIATED!!! THANK YOU FOR READING, I LOVE YOU!!!

tag lists will be on separate reblogs! they’ve gotten too big to contain as one! if you would like to be tagged in this fic, please let me know!!! 💜💜💜

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[cafalla]

Avon Catalog (1979) Scans

I have a lot of fun revisiting old magazines and catalogs, as they're such time capsules into old trends. I have quite a few magazines and catalogs that I want to scan! Here is one of my handful of old Avon catalogs from the 70s!

Now, I have to lead off with stating the fact that I do not support MLMs at all. 

MLM stands for multi-level-marketing. There are tons of companies, such as Avon, that run on this “business model”. They operate on a structure of people enrolling into teams to sell products to earn commission. In reality, they are essentially pyramid schemes, and most people involved in these “companies” end up losing large amounts of money. 

You can read more about the impact of MLM companies and the damage they do here. I just wanted to make it known that I am aware Avon is an MLM company. Outside of scanning these catalogs for archival reasons, I do not support Avon (or MLMs in general) as a business.

I am scanning these catalogs because I find them (and just all catalogs in general) to be interesting time capsules into the types of products available for purchase at different points in time. And Avon does have many neat products, especially from this time period. This is purely for my curiosity and interest, not to promote Avon as a company.

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Okay, now that that’s said and done, I wanted to share some scans from this catalog!

I already showed off the front cover, promoting some kind of perfumed talc powder spray. Talc powders used to be a huge beauty item.

The back cover is promoting a deal on shampoo. 88 cents?! That’s a steal in today’s money…but probably even back then, too.  

I couldn't find an exact month for this catalog. The identifiers are Campaign 15 from 1979. Going by the listed date of price expiration on July 22nd, I'm guessing this catalog was distributed sometime in the first half of the year. Or maybe a month or few weeks before July 22nd.

I did edit out the address and phone number of Miss Nancy, for her privacy. I did leave her first name because I personally just love knowing that items once belonged to someone. Does that make sense? 

Like, I wonder what Miss Nancy was like. Was she young in 1979? Was she old? A mother? A wife? Do you think she ordered any of the items from this catalog? If she did, did she enjoy them? Or think they were absolute garbage? 

I guess we will never know. But I think it is nice to know that there was a Miss Nancy back in the day, excitedly waiting for her newest Avon catalog. Or maybe she was annoyed to receive the catalog because she forgot to cancel her subscription or membership.

Either way, now I (and you!) get to view this catalog that once belonged to Miss Nancy.

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Here are some of my favorite highlights of the catalog. Most of them are model photos, simply because it’s such a treat to me to see photos of people in 70s fashion and makeup. I’ll include some product pages as well though!

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Let’s start with jewelry related scans!

This couple photo is just…so sweet to me. I know it’s an advertisement, but I love how he is looking at her, and how she is looking at us. I actually really love the jewelry advertised, too. I’d totally pick up a bracelet if I could!

Same goes for this leaf necklace and earrings set.

And these bee earrings.

And this butterfly necklace.

These models are SO beautiful and stunning. There is definitely a crazy amount of editing on them, but it’s kind of charming to see this old fashioned “glamour” style again.

Lastly, here is a page of “teen” jewelry.

Sad to say, not really a fan! They look rather cheap. It’s a bummer because most of the jewelry we just saw that was aimed for the adult women look quite pretty and of decent quality.

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Let’s move on to some scans from the makeup section!

As much as I love the “swatches” edited on the sides of these eyeshadow pencils, I think I’d have to pass on these.

The pink and brown ones look pretty nice in the photos, but the poor blues and greens look a mess to me. Maybe they were better in person? Perhaps for $2.99 I’d be willing to give them a shot. 

Here are a couple model photos I like from the makeup section of the catalog.

Love her dress, hair, and choker! And the bunny, of course. This picture goes along with different colors of lipstick and nail polish. I actually really do like her nails now that I look at them. The colors offered aren’t bad at all, even if they are mostly red.

So beautiful! Can’t be a 70s pic without a daisy. Her blouse is so cute, it’s something I’d totally gravitate towards in a store.

Here’s a page of some flavored chapsticks.

I’m such a sucker for flavored chapsticks, I’d buy all these in a heartbeat! Well…maybe not the chocolate one. Never been a fan of chocolate flavored/scented cosmetics.

Lastly, here is an assorted cosmetics page.

The colors of the potted eyeshadow intrigue me. It seems like the trend was all reds, pinks, and peach tones for nails and lips, with bold blues and greens for eyeshadow. That’s my take away from this specific catalog. I kinda like it though!

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One thing I KNOW Avon was (is?) well known for are their cologne and perfume decanters. At least, vintage Avon was. I’m not sure if Avon currently still sells them. They seem like such an old trend, but I know they are still considered collector’s items today.

This catalog has quite a few pages dedicated to them.

Like this horse one!

Gotta say, I was a bit surprised when I flipped to this spread. It is actually kind of cute though, if you’re into horses. And only $4.99! If I was a horse girl, I’d definitely consider it.

Here’s a couple more animal decanters.

Gotta say, the Little Burro decanter is SO cute. It’s tempting me. As is the Sweet Tooth Terrier. Remember when that was a thing in cartoons and tv shows? Wrapping a bandage like that around your head and jaw when your tooth hurt? 

I think it was to hold an ice pack or medicine against your jaw/teeth so your hands were free. Funnily enough, I googled it real quick and found this thread, from AR15.com (???) of all places, discussing this. I just had to include this because it is so funny to me.

Here is another page of decanters.

I do love that classical lady and the watering pail decanters. I can see why these became collectible items, I kinda want a couple for myself after looking at these!

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To end with, here are some scans from the perfume and bath section of the catalog!

Love her makeup and dress! She looks so beautiful!

Same with this woman! Her hair is chef's kiss for me. Big fan of the peachy lip color on her.

Also hey! Isn't that the rainbow hat worn by the chapstick girl?! Lol!

The caption is funny out of context. Sweet Honesty is an Avon fragrance. Some of the decanters shown earlier come with this scent of perfume in them. But I also think it works as a good relationship quote.

Oh, to be this woman in a nice, warm bath.

Why does that water look so nice! Why is that bathtub SO BIG?! I feel like I'm missing out.

Or to be this woman, pouring water on herself with a giant shell.

Bathing has really gone downhill, huh? Where is MY giant shell bathing pitcher?!

And finally, I saved the best for last. Check out this guy from the men’s spray talc advertisement.

Now THAT’S a 70s fashion moment. Wish there were more men featured in the catalog, I'm living for their looks.

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Hope you enjoyed the scans! As always, you can view the whole catalog and higher quality scans over on my Internet Archive account.

I also have uploaded some of the above images on my nostaliga photoblog, so feel free to check that out too if you like just reblogging the images!

I have more Avon catalogs to scan, as well as a few Delia’s catalogs. That’s not even including the many magazines I need to get to scanning…so stay tuned!

Thanks for reading!

[fawnnbinary]

re: your recent self portrait doodle

bee earring....

-🌧

women want them for their bee earring

[anika-ann]

In the Strangest Place (We Just Might Find Love) - Pt.1

Type: two-shot, pretty much canon

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader     Word count: 3700

Summary: You’re hiding from your boss in a supply closet, minding your own business, when a stranger joins you unexpectedly. 

This is not a beginning of a steamy story; given the reason you’re hanging out in the dark, even a make-out session is honestly the last thing you want to fantasize about right now.

But that doesn’t mean that the nice stranger cannot make your day much better. 

Warnings: mention of sexual harassment, a bit of angst, attempt at humour, language

You were on the verge of screaming – or crying, you honestly weren't sure anymore. But you knew you were done. You had worked your fingers to a bone just to get here; to become a little bee in the most famous hive in Manhattan. Stark Industries. The Stark/Avengers Tower. The beacon of the New York skyline. The dream coming true.

Yeah, not so much.

You hadn't expected super-important assignments – after all, you were just an assistant to the head of one of too many departments – but God, you had not expected to be handling coffee so often. To be running ridiculous errands. Your degree from MIT should actually mean something here! If nothing else than that you were not just some pretty face and that you fucking didn’t deserve the treatment you were receiving.

And that was the root of trouble, really. You could handle making your way up, it would be tiring but not surprising, it was pretty much what you had assigned for.

But you had not assigned for the sexist comments, disgusting innuendo and for the grabby hands of your sleazy boss. Thomas Gregory was a fucking nightmare of a man and you swore that you were quitting if he called you a ‘Dollface’ or slapped your ass one more time.

And that was how you had got here, into this very moment; hiding in a dark supply closet like a creep with two cups of overpriced coffee in a cup holder and a piece of organic carob-nut muffin.

You weren't about to come out any time soon, because you simply knew your boss still would be a pig and give you yet another reason to hand in your notice and you had fucking wanted this job for so long, worked for it so hard and sacrificed too much that you just couldn't make yourself to quit no matter how much your skin cringed and your stomach rolled over every time Thomas Gregory touched you. It was so frustrating you wanted to scream.

Or cry, you still couldn't solve the dilemma. Maybe both.

You barely registered the hurried footsteps – and then the door was yanked open, you glimpsed a tall blond male figure and suddenly there was dark again. Except there was one more body in the very limited room of the closet, making you press your back onto the shelf.

Something rattled with your movement and the newcomer hissed a barely audible ‘Be quiet’ as two columns of muscles that were probably his arms framed your head leaning onto the very same shelf, so you could both fit in here.

The little order leaving his lips broke the last seal inside you. You were tired, frustrated and were receiving enough humiliation as it was, you did not need some random guy invading your hideout, barking orders.

“Look, mister, if you have any problem with me trying to make a little space for you in this tiny-ass closet, I recommend you to-”  

“Shh!” he hushed you and you thought you had never heard someone whisper so urgently; at least it sounded less bossy than before. It did not mollify you though, because this guy actually had enough impudence to-

“Don't you dare to shush me-!”

A hand went to cover your mouth and you let out an exasperated mumble of curses, while his voice continued.

“Please, just— I'm sorry, please, don't make a sound, my friend is trying to set me up and-”

Your eyes went wide and he suddenly fell silent. Before you could question his methods of shutting you up, his exclaim or the pause, and ask him to be so kind to find another closet, another male voice sounded somewhere behind the door.

“Come on, Steeeve. Man, don't be such a prude. Lillian is a great chic, okay?”

The man – the friend, you assumed – seemed annoyed and you couldn't believe that Steve had not been kidding you. He was actually hiding for the very reason he had offered you. You nodded as you heard the stranger behind the door move and the hand covering your mouth hesitantly disappeared.

“It's just a lip piercing, don't be such a tight-ass. It can actually be quite fun, you wouldn't believe what a girl can do with such thing…”

“Gross,” you commented soundlessly and you could feel your companion’s eyes burning a hole into your head in silent agreement.

“Goddammit, Steve!”

The voice and the footsteps slowly disappeared in the distance and you… you were face to face with a stranger named Steve in a limited space of a dark supply closet, his breath tickling your scalp, his cologne very much assaulting your nose; at least it was a pleasant assault.

“I'm sorry for being so rude. And thank you,” his voice caressed your hairline gently and hearing his suddenly polite tone and evaluating this whole situation, you could barely hold back a giggle all of sudden.

“You're welcome, Steve. How long has this been going on?”

“Two days-” That didn't sound too bad, he could probably take a lot more- “-at this level. With Lillian. It was Emily before that and Angelina before that. In smaller scale, it's been happening for about four months,” he recited dutifully as if he was reporting a status to his boss and this time you couldn’t help it – you giggled.

When you could feel the wounded gaze he gave you, you obediently made a sympathetic noise.

“Aww, poor you, your friend supplying you with no doubt great relationship material…”

“That’s what he said! But I don't want a relationship material. I don't want any material, not even his… one-night stand material. What does that mean anyway? These are women he's talking about, not a material-”

You let out a tiny pleased sound at his exasperation, which shut him up. You wondered if it was your turn to speak – it was hard to tell, supply-closet conversations weren't exactly your area of expertise.

“Kudos for that thinking,” you noted after short silence and the darker shadow of his figure tilted his head. “Did you try to tell him that you weren't interested…? Of course you did, why am I asking, that was a stupid question…”

“It's okay. I'm sorry, I got a little… carried away. It just… it's like talking to a brick wall.”

You hummed in sympathy again and the room fell into silence once more.

It was ridiculous how much your mind started working over hundred percent, trying to come up with something appropriate to say. The best you could do was:

“Hey, you want a cup of overpriced organic coffee? I happen to have two.”

The needy noise that let his lips was downright pornographic. Or maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you, the strange environment finally getting to you.

“I knew I smelled coffee here! I thought I went completely insane.”

You couldn't help but smile at that. Yeah, you knew the feeling all too well.

“Nope, your senses were not playing tricks on you. Help yourself. It should be around your left hand.” A rustling of a paper bag. “Oh. That's a carob-nut muffin – with carob instead of cocoa. You can have that too, I won't need that.”

“Alright, I gotta ask. Why are you hiding in a supply closet, with a muffin and two cups of expensive coffee nonetheless? And may I hand you one?”

“Such a gentleman. Thanks,” you murmured and accepted the cup. You weren't lying about not needing it – you wouldn't. Because you were about to quit; it was inevitable.

You sipped the warm liquid, its taste as bitter as the reason behind your actions.

“So?”

“I'm hiding from my boss.”

Your voice must have sounded terrible, because his own softened at the confession.

“And why is that?”

“Because if I bring him his coffee and muffin, he'll probably call me his good girl and— and slap my butt and-”

“I beg your pardon?” he growled, like honest to God growled, the strange sound warming your scalp.

And it was the righteous outrage in the sound he let out, the reaction that you needed, someone agreeing with you – a stranger, who wouldn’t feel obliged to do so just it was a duty of being a good friend to you – that made the levee break. Suddenly tears were streaming down your face, anger and humiliation, and your breath was hitching in embarrassing hiccups and the dark space felt so anonymous and safe at the same time that you didn't even care anymore.

“And if he does that I’ll have to– to quit, because I-I'm so fucking fed up with his dis-disgusting hands and si-sickening voice voicing his lizard thoughts a-and I ca-can't quit goddammit, I worked so fucking hard to-to get a job h-here and-”

You didn't realise your hands started trembling until the cup disappeared from them, placed back on the shelf, and a pair of much bigger and warmer hands gently enveloped yours, his body shifting just a little closer as he lost the support that had been keeping some distance between you.

“Hey, hey, shh, it's gonna be okay…” his voice washed over you soothingly, sounding almost at your ear.

Still, there was space between your bodies, a respectable distance – as respectable as possible in the limited space. It was as if he acknowledged it could make you uncomfortable – which probably wasn't exactly hard to figure out, given what you just told him.

“I'm sorry,” you sobbed and cleared your throat afterwards in attempt to compose yourself. “I didn't mean to load that on you, my problems are none of your concern-”

“Like hell they aren't. Sexual harassment on a workplace is everyone's concern, or it should be,” he grunted. His hands tightened their grip, not uncomfortably – reassuring. “This okay?”

You smiled through your tears. This Steve guy was really sweet to you. You almost forgot what it was like to be treated with respect.

“Y-yeah. Thank you for-- for asking. That was really nice.”

He huffed. “It should be a normal human decency. And I did grab you before that, sorry.”

“Something tells me you would let go if I said no more vehemently.”

“Of course I would.”

You gave him a watery smile he couldn't see and tried to calm your breathing completely. His thumb caressing your wrist helped. You wondered which department he was from; if his skills in comforting came with a job description or if he was a natural.

“Have you… have you tried to fill in a report?” he asked hesitantly, making your heart stop.

Oh yeah, you had. It had ended up in a shredder machine, because Thomas had spotted it. He had made you do it yourself, standing over you and watching, claiming the complaint had been baseless and it would pointless to hand it anyway, because he would explain the HR how it truly was. That you had made a move and he, the good father and husband he had been, politely turned you down, which turned you vengeful.

You whispered the story to Steve, your voice trembling, more tears escaping and you could immediately tell he believed you – because his grip grew steely strong, his teeth grinding.

“This is wrong. You should have never been forced to work for a man like him– objectifying you, touching you, threatening you, that's just--- you should talk to Tony,” he blurted out in the end and you frowned.

“Who's Tony?”

You had checked the whole HR department via their website when doing your research. You couldn't recall any Tony.

There was a short pause, broken by Steve's confused voice. “Stark.”

You blinked, wondering if Steve was joking. He didn't sound like he was joking, which was strange, because so far, he had seemed to be a smart and reasonable man.

“There's no way I'm scoring a meeting with Mr. Stark. And it's not like he’s dealing with things like that.”

“...Talk to Pepper then. I doubt she has bigger than zero tolerance for harassment,” he exclaimed confidently as if talking to Pepper Potts (this time you assumed whom he was talking about – did he call all of the big bosses their first name…?) was an option for a regular human being like you. Realizing that all over again though, that was tough.

“While I believe that’s her policy, it's not like I can just walk into her office.”

Steve seemed to consider that, while his thumb was still drawing patterns on your skin, almost subconsciously.

“I think you could. But if you're worried it might take a while and you’re scared to go back to your office now, let me walk you. I can explain him that every employee deserves to be treated with respect,” he offered finally, deadly serious, yet still sounding kind.

Your heart swelled. A guy you just met (in a supply closet, a good story to be narrated at parties, you supposed), suggested to help you out, no hesitation. God, wasn't he just too pure for this world?

“I… thank you, Steve. But… while you do have an impressive frame, I think it would only get worse. I think I'll just enjoy this extremely hipster coffee, which I'll later have to pay for no doubt and… and go face my boss to hand him my resignation. There are plenty jobs, right? I can as well serve coffee in a café,” you said with a sad smile, letting your hands slip from his comfortable hold.

“That's not right. Especially if you worked hard to– not to mention it's a matter of principle. You run away once and… running is a very hard habit to break,” he whispered, as if a secret, trying to reason with you.

You bit your lip when the truth of his words washed over you, along with the way he spoke; with such a strong believe in principles that should stand a standard. It… he made you forgot your own trouble for a second as you let yourself get lost in him. In the way he treated you, the protector's persona, yet not forced. He had suggested you to ‘let him come with you’, not even a note of command in his approach. This was not a man seeing an opportunity to be a hero when spotting the damsel in distress; this was a man who believed in what was right and wanted to fix things that were apparently broken. You wished there were more men like him, selfishly wanting one of them to be your boss.

“And men like these – they need to be put in line,” he added darkly, snapping you from your daydreaming of a better world. “Let me come with you. I'll—I’ll help you fill in the forms, walk you to HR. You don't have to deal with this alone.”

For all the comfort the dark had offered you so far, you wished for a little bit more light now, enough to see his face, his eyes. You knew they would be burning with honesty, you were sure of it, maybe a little rage aimed at a man who dared to treat another human being the way he did.

The offer was so tempting. But just imagining the security escorting Steve from the building for wanting to help you was enough to put out the fiery need to accept. It was ridiculous to care so much about his well-being after what could be minutes of knowing him, but no one could call you out on it. And if they did, you could always play it cool with ‘matter of principles’; good people only deserved good things.

You carefully reached out, hoping to find his hand again. Your heart skipped a beat when you brushed his thigh instead, but at least his hand was right next to it. He released a surprised breath when you took it into yours, way smaller one. You bit your lip when leaning in a little, blindly trying to meet his gaze.

“You’re a good man, Steve. I’m sorry your friend is giving you a hard time, you don't deserve that – even though I'm sure he means well. If you ever want to get him off your back...” you wavered at the ridiculous idea, but hey, why the hell not, he had offered to help you out first, “you can say you're seeing someone. Give him my card. I'll confirm we're together – he seems like a kind of a guy who would check.”

Shocked breathless laugh erupted from his chest and you assumed you hit the nail on the head. You fished out one of your business cards, handing it to him and releasing his hand then.

It was time to leave and face your fate, but Steve didn't make any attempt at moving out of the closet.

In fact, he seemed to examine the card for a while and then he quietly read out your name. You gasped in surprise. How the hell could he see anything? You could barely make out his silhouette!

“How-”

“I'm used to working in dark spaces,” he muttered absently. “Would you really do that?”

Slightly taken aback he was considering your offer, you nodded, only to realize he couldn't see it--- actually, he probably could.

“I would. Hell, I think I could handle one uncomfortable dinner with your friend vetting me,” you added, slightly amused at the idea. When you could hear his shocked exhale and wanted to take it back. “I didn't mean to-”

“Let me come with you to your office,” he repeated like a broken record and you frowned at the sudden change of topic.

“What-”

“It could throw your boss off your back for long enough for you to deal with the complaint. If you would be comfortable enough to play my girlfriend for a dinner time, why not now?”

Your eyes went wide and you almost choked on air.

“I-what? I told you it would probably only make it worse-”

“It will work.”

“How can you be so-”

The door yanked open and your eyes were hit by an unpleasantly sharp light, making you squint.

“Holy-” a ridiculously familiar voice you couldn’t place breathed out. “Wilson! I found him! You’ve gotta see this!”

You wanted to see the owner of the voice, but your view was completely blocked by the broad chest of your companion.

So you at least raised your head to meet Steve face to face so to speak. You couldn’t see much, your eyes still adjusting; with the light shining from behind him, playing a mysterious game with his blond locks, framing his impressive figure, he looked like a freaking angel, beautiful and righteous, bringing justice, yet wrapped in an aura of peace and serenity. You barely kept your jaw from falling on the floor.

You kept staring, focusing on his face, and slowly started realizing that his features too, were familiar. Mortification was creeping up your back as the puzzle pieces started falling into place, creating a horrifying picture, making you wish for the Earth to swallow you.

The voice from behind Steve’s back resolved the last doubts you had about your temporary mysterious roommate.

“Wouldn’t peg you as a get-freaky-in-a-closet kind of guy, Capsicle.”

You wanted to immediately protest that you had definitely not been getting freaky in the closet, but your brain was still frozen because of the big revelation – that you had just been comforted, hell, that you had just offered to be a fake date to Captain America.

You simply stared at him, unbeing able to hold your jaw from falling anymore. Because– because-- oh god.

Now it made perfect sense that he thought Thomas Gregory would be intimidated… by the idea of harassing Captain America’s girlfriend. You couldn’t really blame Steve for being sure it would work. Also, it kinda explained why he called Mr. Stark or Ms. Potts their first names – they were on the first name basis.

Which really was the least relevant thing right now.

A bashful smile appeared on Steve’s lips, a little guilty perhaps, and you just… giggled at the absurdity. You couldn’t help it. You had just spent minutes in a supply closet with Steve Rogers without having a single clue about it and while you didn’t do anything heated as someone would assume, it was one of the most amazing minutes of your life.

You must have looked like an idiot or something, because he chuckled too, completely ignoring another male voice growing in volume as the newcomer approached.

“Holy hell, man! I can’t believe what I’m seeing!”

At those words, Steve tentatively took your hand with an encouraging smile and led you out to the hall. You were met with two pairs of curious eyes examining you from head to toe. You lowered your gaze, now fully aware of the fact they belonged to Tony Stark – the Iron Man – and Samuel Wilson – the Falcon.

Well. Now the ‘party story’ finally got the right juice.

“Then don’t, Sam, because it’s not what it looks like,” Steve replied to his match-maker friend and took a deep breath, squeezing your hand tighter. “Tony, this woman would like to report harassment on her workplace.”

Your head snapped to Steve’s face with panicked gaze. What the hell was he doing?!

Tony Stark made a noise of disapproval.

“Couldn’t you try harder so she wouldn’t complain about you?”

“Tony,” Steve addressed him, his voice solemn just like his expression, which clearly surprised the billionaire. “I’m serious. It’s not about me. Her boss is the reason why she was hiding here.”

Without commenting any further, Steve handed him your business card and Mr. Stark hummed. You weren’t brave enough to look up. Was he going to wave it off? Was he going to fire you?

He said your name, making you gulp in fright. You had to look up now and you really didn’t wanna, too afraid of what you’d see. You were shocked to meet with a searching gaze, but not a mean one.

“It is true? Is your boss giving you trouble? Making sexist comments? Worse?”

You felt tears in your eyes, utterly taken aback by his sensitive tone, the inviting light in his eyes. It was too much to bear and you wanted to escape the kind gaze; and he wouldn’t let you. You only managed to nod when you felt Steve’s thumb caressing the back of your hand.

Mr. Stark sighed, adding a dark ‘goddammit’, and returned Steve the business card.

“Alright, kids. Let’s have a trip.”

And you just stared.

…what?

Part 2

I know, I know, Steve is a little bit of Knight-In-Shining-Armour here, but it made sense to me O:-)

Happy weekend!

Thank you for reading!

[borkthemork]

Based off the concept of Amélie, and Amélie the Musical respectively. If you want my true delirious writing experience while making this, feel free to listen to the soundtrack as you read.

This is more experimental in writing style than I usually do, but hope the Amelie fans get their fill!

----

Out in the Parisian streets, forty-five pedestrians will pass by under an apartment complex in an extent of ten seconds.

These forty-five pedestrians become irrelevant to the grander scheme of life. However, in one second they acknowledge the existence of one particular woman who has bustled through this specific crowd, all with her shoes clacking harshly against cobble steps.

Many didn’t acknowledge this woman. One simply believes the blue-jacket stranger was of some delivery girl that has run amuck or been in a rush to not get fired. Perhaps this woman hates Mondays, doesn’t like the scent of candles that wafts from the nearby candle stalls, and hates the very existence of these pedestrians due to her rush in every step.

Because days before, a woman named Marcy Wu came into her life. She barged in on a sudden day, with no warning except a trail of puzzle pieces, and the trails lead Anne here. To nowhere and everywhere, to everywhere except the mysterious woman herself.

So the straightforward questions — such as "Do you want to be with me?", "Let us see each other" — become fleeting. Something Anne ultimately wants, but can't get. For Marcy Wu is always out of reach, disappearing into thin air when Anne tries to reach out and ask for dinner, and she then becomes a ghost that haunts Anne's worn-down shoes.

However, in three minutes this woman rushes up a flight of apartment stairs. In about those three minutes somewhere in the world a couple makes love for the sake of a baby, and in another part of the world an old man dies from malaria and never sees his children pocket his money.

In these three minutes, this woman cusses a limited span of ten words from the cursing section of a dictionary.

On the seventh floor of the apartment, another woman frets over a television. Her old television has shown an old friend’s recording, an old gift that details lessons that the green-buttoned woman should and needs to know. For she is not reaching what philosophers call the peak of true connection. That Sasha poked her nose at a specific date in time — back when Sasha played songs in front of the cafe — and told her she needed to let people in. The idea sounds illogical. With what the audience knows, Marcy cannot stomach the idea.

Because every time she tries to, there's always someone who will leave. And that is what she's learned, and will continue to learn for days and days at a time as long as the bees fertilize and the birds chirp their evening songs.

And in her string of thoughts, she notices the faint thump-thump of a woman making her way up the steps, then starts thinking of how to hide in the next few minutes and seconds.

But Anne Boonchuy has already found her way up many flights of stairs, and there’s no way to hide.

The two women shall impact upon the apartment door’s sleek mahogany. A pressure of sudden 10 pascals makes them notice the other’s presence, and that they are nothing but a wall away from each other’s minds and eyes.

They don’t know how to speak well. They don’t know that their hands are pressed in the same spot at the same time, but the one in blue has tried to speak many times before and speaks through the wood as if she knows soliloquies.

Marcy Wu, our protagonist, believes and thinks that Anne Boonchuy knows how to speak said soliloquies — because Marcy wishes she’s not actually there.

She listens to her words as if they didn’t set a fire deep beneath her rib cage, between a prior lung surgery and a near-death experience with a feral cat. She tries not to think of how soft the other woman’s voice is. How she wants the other woman to brush her voice against her ear and remind her that the door is only just a door.

But the heart buries itself in many layers. Words can only penetrate what the mind can allow, and Anne Boonchuy knows this and knows this well.

She has run through so many puzzles, so many questions of who this mysterious woman is, and it becomes a surprise that she still wants her after everything. After every question of whether can make it all work.

But isn’t that the point, Marcy Wu?

Anne Boonchuy is not a cardboard cutout in a Parisian theater alley. She is not a prior lover who says let her in or will cry for sympathy. Or the prior lover who busts down a door and screams into her heart.

Instead, she goes by a different approach. This approach is not known to Anne in practical terms, but of heartfelt aliases, where she says it comes from experiences and experiences alone. And in this declaration, the universe decrees that the approach Anne Boonchuy uses is a romantic letter to Isaac Newton, and the simple schematics of what it means to fall.

By the first of Newton’s laws, Marcy’s stiffened body remains in a state of stiffening. Marcy listens. And listens. She cannot cease her pounding heart but seek what her yearning tells her to find.

What Anne says comes down to this yearning, that this yearning isn’t fickle or fragile, but a paradox of emotions that can trump the most foolish of cynics.

So by the second law of Newton, Marcy’s state of rest has been forced into acceleration. Her heart fastens by 120. Her arteries map out harder than ever before. She can see the universe when she blinks, when she grips the door wood, and Anne Boonchuy mumbles more answers than Marcy can ever count on her fingers.

For the answers tell her that action brings upon equal, opposite reaction. If one gives, the other knows to give as well. Without someone meeting her half and half, then Marcy cannot reach where Anne can touch her. And the balance skews to something less than legendary, and the worlds seem to dim at the impossible thought of Marcy parsing her hair through fluffy curls, or to rove her lips down a jugular for the sake of understanding what love means. Because she wants it, and she doesn't know how to keep it alive.

In fourteen seconds, the concept of Newton’s laws becomes a love language that only the narrator understands.

Then in fourteen seconds the love language seeps through the door and plagues the thoughts of both recipients like a plague.

Until Marcy Wu opens the door.

Until Anne Boonchuy stares at her. Stares at her with fingers slack to her sides like they are tethered by dumbbells — unable to be truly moved.

And Marcy will lean in first, stuttering a heated breath against Anne’s lips in the quiet clamber for nerves, then she’ll press a kiss to a cheek. Then lift herself to the another.

The clock ticks.

The Parisian street below remains oblivious.

Anne stiffens as the world turns. She lets Marcy’s arms embrace her by the waist, takes in each advance like a cat to yarn, and has her mouth agape out of sheer paralysis — as if she is unaware of the potential flies that can crawl in.

But instead of blue flies threatening to flutter at 14,670 times per minute, what takes her breath away is when Marcy directs a finger to where she wants to be kissed.

And Anne Boonchuy leans in, thinks of a phone shutter, of how Marcy pulls her down onto the apartment floor. With nothing left to lose.

For each participant's fear — Marcy being lonely, and Anne being of isolation — collides with their actions like a soothing medicine, for they met in the middle, and listen sweetly to each other's heartbeats. To ultimately meet halfway.

[olivia200312]

Meeting~ 2018! Optimus x Human! Reader

Plot: Y/N meets Optimus Prime after saying farewell to Charlie.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if Y/N meets Optimus Prime from Bumblebee of 2018? Yes, this is also the live-action like Bayverse but I saw NOT A SINGLE story about Optimus x Reader! I was honestly wondering this about every fragging day. But I want to give it a shot!

For those who are new, Bumblebee came out in 2018, and it's created by Travis Knight. Not so many people know that Michael Bay also helped to create the movie. He did actually a good job on that by listening to Travis Knight. After the movie was complete, Travis Knight admitted that he has plans for Bumblebee 2, who we still don't know a single detail like how the story will play. I believe that the story will focus on Bumblebee and Optimus this time. But anyway, ever since the new director got revealed who's not Travis Knight, we have to wait one day until Knight will finally return to bring Transformers back! I read a week ago about the new actor, who will take Sam's and Cade's place. The actor is named Anthony Ramos. Believe me or not, that got me pissed. Give women also a chance to appear! Like, Hailee Steinfeld got a chance and she appeared! But I will watch the new Transformers movie that will come out in June 2022. I hope that this stupid corona trouble will be over for good! I really want to go to the movies so bad :(

I plan to put Meta Knight *ON HOLD* since it's too much work, especially since I'm also busy with Falling in Love based on the TFP series. I will NOT abandon the book. So, the new Merformer Optimus x Reader is coming close :)

Enjoy!

Head area:

Brain: Processor / Brain Module

Head: Helm

Face: Face plate

Ears: Audio receptors / Receptor Orifice / Audials

Nose: Enstril / Olfactory Sensor

Eye brow: Optical Ridge

Eyes: Optics

Mouth: Intake

Lips: Dermas

Teeth: Denta/Dentas

Tongue: Glossa

Chest area:

Chest: Chassis / Thoraxal Cavity

Back: Hexa-Lateral Scapula

Spine: Bipedalism cord / Back Strut

Chest and back armour:

Chest plate

Back plate

Mid-section plating

Neck guard

Side plating

Arm area:

Arms: Arms / Restarlueus

Forearms: Bitarlueus

Hands: Servos

Fingers: Digits

Arm armour:

Gantlets

Shoulder pads

Arm guard

Lower area:

Pelvis: Pelvis

Butt: Aft / Skid-Plate

Thighs: Tibulen

Calves: Cadulen

Feet: Pedes - the high heel bits are called Struts or Heel Struts.

Lower armour:

Skirt plates

Aft plate / Skid plate

Thigh guard

Ankle guard

General/Internal components:

Muscles: Cables / Pistons - It depends on the area in question.

Veins: Fual lines

Stomach: Tanks

Lungs: Vents - used to stop the con/bot from over heating.

Heart: Spark

Tattoos: D-con/A-bot Insignias and the lark

T-Cog: The thing that allows all Cybertronians to transform, be that their arms or their whole body.

Bonus:

Penis: Spike

Vagina: Valve

Body: Frame

-------------------------------------

"Farewell, Y/N. Be safe and have fun adventuring!" Charlie said as she hugged her cousin, Y/N for the last time.

Y/N smiled sadly and hugged her back. Bumblebee, who is in his Camaro vehicle form, is watching the sad moment between the girls. He understood how hard it is to say farewell. Even though he's new to Earth, he learned a lot thanks to these girls.

Y/N is 18 years old she's actually living very poor that in the end, she lost her home. She roamed around the streets until she stumbled Bumblebee, who was in a different car form at the time. It's actually an old car from the 1950s or '60s. But it is a cute car! Bumblebee, who was previously called B-127, had to escape Cybertron by his leader, Optimus Prime, orders. The war between the Autobots and the Decepticons has been going for so mong that their planet was slowly dead. Optimus ordered his dear scout to find a base on Earth while he and others will arrive soon. However, one of the Decepticons tracked B-127 that they fought. Bumblebee could speak at the time! He even tried to warn human soldiers that he's not evil! But that slagging Deceptocon actually destroyed Bumblebee's voice instead of the dangerous warlord, Megatron!

Bumblebee stumbled upon Y/N and they befriended each other! Of course, Charlie caught the Autobot scout and they also became friends! Soon, Memo joined as well in the group! The yellow scout is not stupid and saw that Y/N was different from her cousin. He found out that she's homeless so he basically 'adopted' Y/N as his step-sibling. So adorable! After the final battle was over, Bumblebee had to leave in order to catch up with his leader.

Y/N quickly went inside Bumblebee in the driver's seat so that she'll pretend that she's driving. I mean, what if someone catches the yellow Camaro driving by itself without a driver inside? That's super creepy to them but not to Charlie, Memo nor Y/N. Bumblebee is a Transformer. Y/N waved goodbye to Charlie as she did the same. That's when Bumblebee drove off.

Charlie smiles as she saw her beloved yellow friend driving next to his leader, Optimus Prime, who's a blue and red truck. The girl then safely returned home, back to her family and Memo.

Meanwhile, with Y/N, she couldn't help but stare in awe at the red and blue truck. So, this is Optimus Prime? She isn't sure. I mean, while she was in the forest with Bee and Charlie, they discovered something shocking and cool. Charlie accidentally activated something inside of Bumblebee that caused a call from Optimus Prime to appear. It's a warning message he left for the scout to search a base since Cybertron is basically dead.

She felt Optimus staring at her, even when he's driving. He'll have a talk with Bumblebee later. And that's what he exactly did.

Later at night~

Optimus Prime and Bumblebee are hiding in the forest with survived Autobots. Let's get to the introduction:

Y/n stepped out of Bumblebee's car and she watched her step-sibling transform. The poor human girl yelped when some loud metal steps ran to the scout and leader. That's when she got picked by Optimus Prime very gently. That got her to stare right into his calm gentle soft blue optics. Optimus couldn't help but also get lost while staring at her. He's also amazement and impressed. Ooh, la la la!~ Is there a romance going to happen?

"Uhm, we're still here."

That got Optimus and Y/N awake as they looked immediatly at the others. Optimus still held Y/N in his arms or servos. The height is a bit different than in Bayverse.

"Is that a human?"

Bumblebee then used his radio and let out: "Yes, it's a human."

Optimus then looks down at the human femme. He couldn't help but thought that she's soft and squisy. She also looks so cute and has also soft lips. "What's your name, young femme?"

"Y-Y/N, sir."

Optimus almsot chukled. "My name is Optimus Prime. We're from planet Cybertron. We're the Autobots."

Y/N lighted up. "So that's why you're cars!"

A femme Cybertronian laughed. "That's correct, Y/N."

The introduction got along and Y/N got to know names. There's Ratchet, the medic of the team. No wonder he's an ambulance car. Arcee is pink and white (instead of blue and pink). There's also Wheeljack and others. Some of them are serious, kind, strong, etc.

"How did you met our fellow scout, Y/N?" Optimus asked as he took a walk in the forest with her. This time, he's walking next to her instead of holding her.

"Well, I'm was homeless and I stumbled upon him. He decided to 'adopt' me so I'm basically his step-sibling. I am grateful for him that he's taking care of me and so I want to help every chance possible, including you and the team." The human girl smiled up at Optimus.

Optimus felt touched by the story. He's happy that his fellow scout made a friend but he doesn't want a risk by putting Y/N in danger if the Decepticons decide to attack. But he felt his spark shatter when she mentioned that she was homeless but he's very grateful that Bumblebee is taking care of her.

"Who knows of B-127's existence?"

"Huh? Oh! Do you mean Bumblebee? Well, me, my cousin Charlie, and her future boyfriend, Memo." That's when she noticed something like asteroids flying in the sky. Her eyes lighten up. "Wow! Are that asteroids?"

Optimus looks up and smiled behind his mask. "No. That's my fellow Autobots that survived. They're gonna join us." He looks down at the human femme. "Welcome to the team, Y/N."

Y/N blushed and smiled. "Thank you, Optimus."

[dinthehottotty]

Cultural Differences - Part 1 - Din Djarin

Summary: Din proposes and you have no idea that you said yes. Not that you'd say no but you don't have the heart to tell him when you realize.

A/N: Before ya ask, yes, I do play assassin’s creed. I’m shamless, I don’t care.

Warnings: Fluff, maybe a sprinkling of angst, part two will have all the smut for @buttercup--bee​.

When you'd met Mando, you thought the same thing as everyone else from a glance. You believed him to be cold and dangerous. Very quickly did that entire idea go up in big, black smoke. It didn’t take long to watch this man ask for compliance rather than immediately demand it. He always did please and thank you’s when necessary and it was a surprise when that only got you hot and bothered.

Love was not on your radar when you joined his crew. Even now, months after you'd been working with him, you felt like you were pining for the man. That would imply that the awkward Mandalorian would ever foster the idea of a relationship with you. So instead you'd happily day dream your way through the days.

It was easy to do. There was no resentment at unspoken affection. You just loved both Mando and that little green bundle of wrinkles with everything in you. It always made you smile at how much he was an overprotective dad with his 50 year old baby. Even if he tried to deny that he was a dad now.

You found it too easy to tease him about it and your cute aggression reared it's ugly head. You were a person who's love language was physical touch. Constantly touching the bounty hunter surprised him in the beginning. But now it had no effect on him. You probably should have asked him more about Mandalorian culture because that would be your down fall with him.

It was a joke the first time you'd kissed his helmet. Planting a big, obnoxious kiss right on the top of his helmet when he was in the pilot seat and had maneuvered the razor crest out of quite the spot without killing you both. Now it was second nature to peck his helmet's cheek. A warm, friendly greeting when he'd returned from a hunt and when he departs for supplies. A quick smooch to his forehead and a pat to a pauldron as a thank you. Nudging his knee under the table at cantinas to tell him to calm down. A reassuring rub to his strong arms when Peli stresses him out too much. He even let you grasp his arm or thigh when you get excited about something. You were physically affectionate, you didn't think twice about gently bumping your forehead to his helmet when you were purposefully being annoying.

The last thing on your mind when doing this was actually whether or not Mando even thought much of it. He didn't tell you to stop, he never spoke about it, how were you to know.

One day, while Mando was on the floor trying to wear the kid out to go to sleep, you found teasing him all you could do. A light laugh bubbled up from you as his attempts failed repeatedly.

"Hand him over, Daddy." Squating down next to him. He turns his helmet towards you.

"I can handle it. Just go to bed," he orders, with no bark in his voice.

"Not a chance. Give 'im here." He heaves one of his heavy sighs before allowing you to scoop him up and into you. It was routine that you took the kid to bed most nights, Mando was okay with it, but he gives a frustrated sigh when the kid looks quickly like he's getting sleepy.

"Why is that so easy for you?"

"He's just used to me putting him to bed, Mando." You throw him a wink and bounce hip to hip as the kid jabbers sleepily.

There's a silence that feels a little heavy and the Mandalorian shuffles awkwardly. "I... I kind of wanted... nevermind," he cuts himself off, turning away.

That catches your attention very quickly. "No, no! Tell me, it's okay." Your hand darts out as he turns to leave and you catch his arm. He pauses even though he can easily push through it.

"I mean... you're like his mom. Kids like their mothers more. They sooth their children better and women are instinctivly better with kids." That startles you. Mando had never once referred to you as anymore than the kids nanny at any point. You weren't even originally hired to watch the kid.

You're cheeks flair up at that, burning uncomfortably and you feel... giddy perhaps? Did he think of you as a mom to his son? It catches you off guard.

"He definitely doesn't like me better," you reply softly and move closer. "I just put him to bed more often and it's close to bed time, that's all. Come here," you coax, your voice lowering to a warm tone. The bounty hunter twists reluctantly back towards you with slumped shoulders. The kid, who's half dozed in your arms, blinks up at him.

"He adores you, Mando, just take him."

"You don't have to-... its not a big deal."

"Take him," you insist. Finally he lifts the kid into his arms which makes the kid blink up with bigger eyes, a confused coo rising from him.

"Hes waking back up-"

"Shhh." You press forward, against Mando's arms as you run the pad of your thumb along the big ears. Softly you hum, no song in particular, and prompt the Mandalorian to sway with you both. It's a soft, intimate moment, that you never want to end.

It takes a few moments for the kid to settle back down and you hope it doesn't take to long but part of you longs for it not to end. The man-droid calling you his sons mother, or comparing you to one at the very least, is enough to fuel your longing for you employer with out a name for months.

At some point you glance up, expecting him to be watching his son. It paralyzes you when you find his visor trained on you. Gently you clear your throat, blush raising more on your cheeks.

"I didn't mean to overstep. I-"

Thunk.

The Mandalorian tilts his helmet forward and it knocks against your forehead suddenly. If you're honest, it actually hurts a bit with how hard he crashes his head into yours but suddenly the bunk feels so much smaller with him blocking the doorway. "You didn't." Is all he says, in his softest voice.

This was purposeful. He wanted to lean his head to yours. Not to be annoying. There was nothing practical about it, but he was doing it on purpose. Maybe he was feeling playful, you think. 

The both of you stay like that for a while, as you allow your eyes to close. It could have been seconds or hours but finally he shifts away to gently put the kid in his hammock.

"I have something for you." He admits.

"For me?" You repeat, a little dazed. He nods.

"You don't have to accept." You arch your eyebrow as you both exit the room and you watch him mosey over to his weapons vault. Your curious as you attempt to guess what it is mentally. You didn't need anything.

But then he drew out a bundle of fabric and brought it over with both hands. He doesn't say anything, instead he just holds the bundle. You pause, hesitantly taking it. It was heavy and solid with plenty of ridges. When you peel the fabric back, the beskar gleams and a surge of emotion rushes forward as you twist the gauntlet. As you look to the inside you see it, the hidden blade attached to the bottom, something you explained to him before.

A rite of passage from your assassin training on your home planet. Yours had long since broken and you couldn't wear it anymore and it had been two years. You’d only really brought it up to him once, cursing that you would of had the bounty he’d only had the chance to capture after he slipped from your grasp. Mando had given you a short, “I still got him,” and carried on until you were both in the safety of hyperspace. The bounty had been sealed away and you couldn’t even remember who it had been.

“Like a knife?” He prompts in a way that made you both confused and suspicious. 

“Knife? What knife?” you asked.

“You could have won the bounty if you had your blade?” he responded, he partially tipped your way. It was a bit odd of him to focus on that, a little out of character. You brushed it off, especially because he had previously explained that Mandalorians were religious about weapons. 

You hadn’t known much about them (really anything) before him. You just pegged him as having an unhealthy fixation about any type of new weapon.

“Oh, my hidden blade,” you hummed and leaned back, making a face. “It broke a while back. I was apart of an assassin’s group on my home world, they had a few initiation practices. The important one was when you get your hidden blade. It’s like a gauntlet without the hand and the blade sits on the inside of the wrist. When you flex your wrist, the blade extends. My safety broke on it, nearly lost my ring finger.” You’d wiggled your finger that had a deep scar on the inside of it. “Then the blade snapped clean in two and I haven’t found anyone to fix it. I have to go home, since the mechanisms are broken. There are so few of my people left, however, that I’ve just put it off.” Was your response. 

After that he’d never brought it up again. 

"Mando," your voice cracks as you glide your fingers across it. "Mando, it's beautiful." You slide it on. It's heavier than your used to, but it fits like a glove. A quick click and the blade shoots out with a flex of your wrist. "Thank you," you murmur before sinking the blade away and launching into a hug with him.

"Din." He says, making you peer up. "Din Djarin is my name." Your heart skips a beat against his chest. You gaze up at him for a moment, before smiling back down at it. You turn, switching the safety off, before twitching your wrist. The mechanism was backwards from what you were used to, but the shiny blade jutted out as fast as your original had. It’d take a while for you to adjust to the weight of it, but it’s like having a working prosthetic after missing a limb for years. 

“Din,” you test, “how did you get it to fit so well, my old one had straps I could adjust,” you ask. Drawing you eyes back up to the helmet, you let the big smile grow on your face. 

He clears his throat a bit and twists to look at the blade that slinked away almost soundlessly. “I... I would measure your wrist when I grabbed your arm. To move you or stop you while we were out.” You grin at him, switching the safety on so that you didn’t accidently stab him.

“I didn’t even notice!” You quickly, jerk forward and hug him. He squeezes you back eagerly but a thought occurs. “Wait,” you draw back to look at him. “This beskar, right?” 

“Yes.”

“I’m not Mandalorian, though. Won’t I get in trouble?”

“No, it’s given by a Mandalorian. There is no issue.” He promises and that’s the end of it because he thunks his helmet a little too hard against you again.

...

It goes on for months. Din suddenly being more physically affectionate with you. It makes you feel like you can have the softness that comes from a domestic relationship, the kind you never thought you could have. He called you something in Mando’a which seemed to change all the time. It was always at times you weren’t focused on what he was saying so you could never listen and try to look it up later. 

You had found a short list of terms people had translated from the lost and secretive language. Most were mean ones, and you’d only heard him use a couple of those, but never toward you... well... maybe one. But that’s not the point! You were so lost with him. 

It wasn’t until after nearly dying on Hoth, and then again on whatever water disaster of a planet this was. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. And when Din dove in after those fisherman launched the kid in to be fed, you ripped those black market trades apart in sheer rage. Fortunately, or un fortunately, Mandalorians arrived and slaughtered more. You were happy to not have Din or the kid drown, but your want of revenge was exponential.

In short, it was a really rough week. One of the worst since the kid had arrived. He wouldn’t stop eating the frog lady’s kids that you were transporting. Not that your really surprised, but you were at the end of your rope.

Sitting in a warm little bar was nice. Between the kid warming himself in your arms and Din’s casual hand on your knee, you were simmering down. You were pressing yourself into din’s side, hoping to leach some of your warmth between his armor. He wasn’t even shivering anymore.

After quite the shock for the both of you when the other three took their helmets off, you had now been stunned into an exhausted mode. Anger had disappeared and replaced it’s self with the same distrust you felt radiating off Din. Shock seems to be the trend on this planet because one moment you’re ready to hear about the fall of Mandalore and the next Bo Katan is twisting to look directly at you. 

“I find it strange that you’re wearing beskar at a black market beskar port.” She throws at you. Everyone glances at your wrist. 

“It’s a gift.” Your rumbling response is the first words you’ve spoken to her from your sour mood. She lifts a condescending eyebrow at you. 

“From you I assume?” She asks Din. 

“Yes.” Is his response. 

“Why a gauntlet?” Bo Katan makes a face. A flick of the wrist and the blade makes and appearance. Eyes widen. “Ah. An engagement gift.” Your brain stuttered in your head. 

“How romantic,” her sidekick, Koska chirps. You were waiting for Din to deny it, all the while rushing through the encounter of when he gave it to you. Had Din proposed? Were you engaged to him this whole time? You weren’t even sure if he saw you in a romantic light, nevermind him actually wanting to marry you. 

“I’m surprised you accepted a proposal from a watcher. Can’t be easy to love someone if you can’t see their face.” Bo Katan remarks. Din’s head turns a little towards you, he’s trying to read you right now. He’s waiting for your response. Had he done this on purpose? He wouldn’t do it out of malace, that you’re certain on. You wouldn’t put it past him to go this long into a relationship and not talk about his feelings. 

“Hardly.” Koska smirks towards Bo Katan and you feel Din slowly let out a breath from beside you. You gently nudge his side. 

“But to never kiss, to never see his face, might be harder than you think.”

“She can see me once were married.” Those words shock you more than the actual announcement that you were engaged. It sealed it for you as well. This surprises those sitting across from you. The ring leader grins suddenly. 

“You really should communicate better with your partner. I don’t think she realized that you were even engaged to begin with.” Din swivels his head and you bite your lip as you’ve been caught red handed.

“You didn’t?” He asks, more of a demand. You wince.

“No, but even if I did know, I still would have accepted.” Din sighs, next to you, clearly frustrated. “In my defense, the only thing you asked me was, ‘Do you accept,’ which granted is a little cryptic, if I’m being honest.” Din takes a deep breath, shaking his head at you. 

“What normally takes place on your world? A gift, correct?”

“Yeah, a ring! Not a hidden blade, you dork. I will say, I prefer this, it’s much more practical.”

“You don’t know anything about Mandalorians, do you?” Bo Katan prompts.

You pass her a look. “I’d never even heard of a Mandalorian before I met him.” All three of them have amused reactions and Din just sinks more into your side. You drop your hand down to his knee. 

The conversation takes a new direction after that and your thankful to not have the attention on you anymore. 

It’s not until you have agreed to help the three of them that the both of you decide to take the oldest (and smallest) clan member to the frog lady’s house.

“If you don’t behave,” you murmur, bristling in the cold ocean breeze rolling through the streets, “I will allow the frog lady to eat you, okay?” you promise the kid. Din pulls you to a stop and the kid perks his tucked ears up, prepared for your betrothed to deny that promise.

“Were you pulling their leg in there? Did you really not know we were engaged?” 

“I mean, I suppose you were pretty forward with me, but I had no clue.”

“You think I was forward?” he demands. Uh oh. You were not expecting that response.

“What... what did I do that was forward?” You hear yourself ask when your not sure you want the answer. Din shakes his head at you. 

“The keldabe kisses?” 

“The what kisses? You mean me kissing your helmet?” 

“That too. Obviously, I’m not able to kiss you the way you’re used to. I won’t be able to until were married, so what Mandalorians do instead is the keldabe kiss.” His hands are placed on your shoulders to hold you in place and he leans down, thunking his helmet against your forehead. “This.” 

You’re eyes go wide as you think about the many times that you basically laid a big one on Din. “Did... did you consider us being in a... romantic relationship before you proposed?” 

“I believed we were, you didn’t?” What a question. Mortification filled you and you could feel your cheeks burning despite the brisk wind. “Do... do you love me?” Your chest aches deeply at the insecurity in Din’s voice. The sound that rumbles isn’t like his warm and gentle tone he usually has. It’s brittle and frail.

“Of course I do! I just... I thought we were just really close friends, that you didn’t see me in that way so I bottled it up and hid it away. I mean... I wanted to mean more to you, but I just... maker, I feel so stupid.” The kid coos with confusion in your arms as you pull away. “Din, I’m sorry.” 

“Do you want to marry me?” He asks so softly it’s almost taken by the wind. You find yourself immediately folding into his arms.

“Yes, Din, yes, I want to marry you. I love you.” You murmur the last part against his cape, feeling to shy to look at him when you say it. His rigid body soften around you and suddenly you’re clutched tightly to his chest. Tighter than he’s ever held you. Ironically, for the first time all day it feels like you can actually breathe. 

“Good... good.” He breathes near you. 

“Can we get out of the wind for a bit?” you prompt.

“Yes, let’s go.” Not how you were expecting your day to start... or end. But there are worse endings to bad days.

Tagging:

@lxdyred​, @boliv-jenta​, @amidjarin​, @buttercup--bee​

[forever-rogue]

Alright alright ty for responding! I’m super hyped abt this one hehe but here I go:

This is for Frankie Morales, who I love so freaking much ☺️

Okay okay here: A high school reunion where Frankie and Reader meet again after 10 years.

They had such a huge crush on one another and reader was ‘popular’ while Frankie was just shy/nerdy. Maybe they dated but had to separate while they were in college because of the distance but they still have feelings after all these years?

Also reader has learned that Frankie has a kid but didn’t know that his wife divorced him so she’s kind of upset until Frankie tells her (assuming she runs off or something?).

Eventually they start again in their relationship and it’s a fluffy and cute!

I love angst and fluff so since you like writing about those I thought you would be a great person to ask hehe. Anyways I love your works so much and thanks in advance if you write this! ❤️✨

A/N: this is literally just a ton of softness, enjoy! 💕

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: none

FRANKIE MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST

»»————-　��　————-««

You could hardly believe your eyes as you scanned the room and found the one person you hadn’t been expecting to see. Out of all the people in the world, there was Frankie Morales, across the crowded ballroom, mingling with a few other of your old classmates. It had been two whole decades since you’d last seen him; two decades since you’d last kissed him, last told him you loved him, last held him. Back then you had been positive that you wouldn’t see the last of him. 

You knew he’d gone into the military after high school, greatly deviating from your plans of college, and ultimately causing your break up. You’d never heard a word from him or seen so much as a glimpse of him since the day of your graduation. At first you had been hopeful that you’d see him again sometime at some point, but the time had never come. That had led you to believe that he wouldn’t even be coming here tonight, to your class reunion. You could just picture him saying something along the lines of ‘why? what a silly waste of time!’ Unbeknownst to you, he hadn’t actually planned on coming - not until he’d gotten word through the grapevine that you’d be there. 

The sight of him was enough to take your breath away; he still looked exactly the same after all this time, just older, hardened, and world weary. Much like yourself and everyone else here, you supposed. But when his soft, chocolate eyes met yours, you couldn’t help but grin at him, the corners of your mouth tugging upwards without a second thought. Turning to the group of women you were chatting with, you offered them a half hearted excuse and made your way over to teenage love. Frankie didn’t hesitate to do the same.

Meeting halfway in the middle, you almost crashed into each other, your body practically humming with excited nervous energy as you stared at Frankie - your Frankie. He smiled that same smile you’d fallen in love with all those years ago, his magnificent dimple making its appearance. 

“Frankie-”

“Honey Bee-”

“I can’t believe you’re here,” you both said excitedly, before breaking into a fit of giggles. At least you were on the same page about this one. Part of you had always wondered, even if just a small, tiny part of you, whether he held any disdain or dislike for you after you ended your relationship. It had been hard at the time, you were both lovestruck young fools, but you both knew at the time, even if only deep down, that it was the right thing to do. Maybe it had all happened the way it did for a reason. 

“Do you want to go outside? To the gardens?” he asked softly as you nodded in response. Without a moment of hesitation, he reached for your hand, clutching it tightly, but gently, in his much larger one, lacing your finger together without a second thought. Trailing behind his long strides, you couldn’t help but admire his frame; tall and broad, with just the right amount of softness that somehow remained firm. He’d gone from a good looking teenager to a handsome man. 

Once you were away from all the commotion and outside in the cool evening air in the gardens decorated with lightly twinkling lanterns, he paused and turned to study you. A look of pure adoration was etched into his eyes as his hands found either side of your face and he gently traced over your features. 

“You are just as beautiful today as you always have been,” he beamed at you, “my sweetest Bee. After all these years, I get to see you again.”

“Francisco…”

“May I kiss you?” as soon as his name fell so softly from your lips, he couldn’t help him. It was like he was eighteen again, and falling over, so easily, so effortlessly. You watched with wide, doe eyes, the most innocent expression on your face as you nodded before biting on your lip.

Before either of you could think too much about it, he crashed his lips onto yours and kissed you with a fervent, but gentle intensity. It was like no time had passed and neither of you had to think about it; it all worked so easily. Just like it had always been meant to be.

When you finally, reluctantly, pulled apart, you grinned at each other like fools. You couldn’t help but steal a few more kisses from him. “Frankie...I never thought I’d see you again. I can’t believe you’re here.”

“I wasn’t planning on coming,” he admitted sheepishly, looking down at his feet for a moment, “but I heard you were going to be here, and I had to come.”

“For me?” a flush rose into his cheeks as you beamed at him and offered up a shy nod.

“Of course,” he confessed, “why else? I always hoped I’d see you again one day...I never stopped thinking about you. How horribly cliche is that?”

“Well, even if it is, then I suppose that makes the two of us fools,” putting your hand on his cheek, you traced your thumb over his features, “you’d always cross my mind...a lot. Probably more than I should have…”

“Somethings never change, huh?” he laughed light as he led over to an empty bench surrounded by beautiful evening blossoms. You sat next time, watching with nervous intensity as he held your hand in his, “how’ve you been, Bee? Really? Tell me everything.”

“Only if you promise to do the same.”

“Always.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

And it was easy to talk to him; just like it always had been. In some ways, it was like no time had passed at all. With him you never had to think about what to say, or worry about him passing judgment or anything. It just was...and it was a beautiful thing. An odd longing feeling settled into your stomach the more you listened to him, leaning in closer and closer until you were almost in his lap. In some ways you wondered if it had always been him. Like you were both here again for a reason. You liked the idea that everything happened as it was meant to, as the universe willed it. 

“But then my wife…” as soon as the words hit your ears, you tilted your head to the side and gave him a confused expression. Wife, wife, wife. Holy shit.

Springing to your feet, your mind was reeling as you imagined all the ways in which you had fucked up, but Frankie was fast on his feet and was still right behind you, calling your name as he tried to catch up, reaching for your hand. Of all the things you had imagined, this wasn’t one of them. Eventually you stopped and turned to face with a wide eyed expression, “what do you mean wife? Frankie, I-I still have a lot of the same feelings I always did, but if you have a wife-”

“Bee, please no,” he shook his head fervently, trying to get you to calm down and calm his own racing heart, “no, no, no, I shouldn’t have said it like that - old habits die hard. I meant ex-wife. We’ve been…we’re divorced, and have been for over a year.”

As if to prove his point, he held up his left hand and showed you that he wasn’t wearing a wedding band. His own eyes flitted awkwardly to our own hand, almost as if to check that you weren’t someone else’s either. Instantly you felt foolish and silly, knowing it had been foolish to explode like that. You should have known better; Frankie would never lie to you, “I-I’m an idiot. I’m so sorry, Frankie. I just...I couldn’t handle the thought of you...well doing anything with someone’s married, or you being married to someone still. Needless to say, my own marriage didn’t end well; he cheated on me with multiple women.”

“I would never put you in that position,” he promised softly, “and I would never do that to anyone. Especially not to you, Honey Bee. If...if you’ll have me, however you want, I promise you I will never lie to you. I never have and never will.”

“Promise?” you looked at him with glossy eyes as your lip trembled, but he just nodded and reached for your hand, pulling you closer to him, “Francisco…”

“Of course,” he replied softly, “so full disclosure - I’m a divorced, single dad - very proud dad of the sassiest and sweetest little girl that is my world. I know that’s a lot, on top of everything else I’ve told you, but that’s...that’s what it is. Who I am. I guess it’s probably not what you were expecting...probably a let down.”

“No,” you promised him quickly, with a big, wide grin, “it’s wonderful. You’re wonderful, Frankie. None of those things are a letdown; you’re perfect. We’ve all got our issues - I’m a divorced, single dog mom that’s considered a failure by so many people because I went to college and ended up doing something completely different, and now run a small coffee shop. It’s not exactly lucrative, but I love it.”

“You always wanted a coffee shop,” he remembered; you’d told him about it more times than you could remember when you were just kids, “your dream came true!”

“It’s even better now,” you insisted softly, “because I’m here - with you. I think...I think it’s the only thing I’ve ever really wanted. Seeing you again, after all this time...it’s still you, Frankie.”

“After all this time?”

“Always.”

“Good,” he beamed at you, “I’m glad the feeling’s mutual. Honey Bee...may I kiss you again?”

“Mhmm.”

“And again and again and again?” you laughed at his playfulness, but underneath it all, you could see there was a serious side to all of this. He was looking at you like you had hung all the stars in the glittering night sky, “if you’ll still have me?”

“Always.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

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[1kook]

commercial break ; ONE

a netflix & chill drabble  this follows directly after disney+ and bust !

summary; Maybe Jungkook wasn’t always as cool and composed as you initially believed. But that’s okay, because you love him all the same. warnings; none unless u count yn bullying him as one miscellaneous; yn is regina george thats it word count; 1.3k

notes; u guys may be like “u feed us so well!” wrong i obsessively post bc I'm never satisfied with my work, like in d&b i really disliked the lack of resolution so here i am writing one the day after god bless lmk what u think xxxx

Because Jungkook is Jungkook and cannot go three minutes without profusely professing his feelings to you, the apology gets old real quick.

“I’m sorry, y’know,” he says in the middle of dinner, idly picking at his plate. It’s Chinese tonight, sprawled across the kitchen counter that overlooks your living room. The Bee Movie is playing on TV, a movie you hadn’t seen in years yet still managed to put a smile on your face. But you know what wasn’t putting a smile on your face? Jungkook ruining this movie experience with his fourth apology of the night.

You nod through a mouthful of rice, eyes zeroed in on the screen. “Uh huh,” you hum, foot idly bumping against the leg of your chair every few seconds. “That’s great, honey.”

He sighs. “I’m being serious,” he stresses. “I think, maybe you should like…” a long pause you use to shovel more food into your mouth while the bees on screen go to human court. It was a wild ride. Were they on crack when they pitched this idea? You would have been. “Punch me in the face or something,” he offers after a moment.

You quirk a brow in his direction, finally abandoning the film on screen in favor of turning to face him. “You want me to use you as a punching bag to help you get over your hurt feelings that you developed from being an asshole to me.” Jungkook nods. You shrug. “Okay.”

“Wait, really?” he says, face paling as you roll your shoulder around. “You’re gonna hit me? Like for real?” You raise your brows, as if that’s obviously what you’re going to do.

“Well, you asked for it,” you respond, giving your wrist one final flick before rearing it back. His eyes flutter shut tightly, pouty lips pursed together in a thin line. Your fist comes barreling, ripping through the air in an insane, Fortune 500-like speed, and then—

“No,” Jungkook groans, touching the spot where you lightly flicked his forehead. His bangs saved him from most of the impact, but even without it, it was barely more than a teasing poke of your finger against his skin. “You need to like, beat me up.”

You snort, turning your attention back to the screen. “You know, you’re beginning to sound a lot like me these days, Jungkookie,” you point out, fork scraping across the plate. Jungkook sighs, dropping his head onto the countertop in defeat. “Very childish.”

He lightly bangs his head across the faux marble, a strained whimper filling the air and ruining The Bee Movie. “Which is why you need to hit me or something, I don’t know. Make me pay for how horrible I was to you the other day.”

“I’m not gonna hit you,” you say, “because that would mean the next time you get mad at me, you’d hit me.”

“I would never!” he exclaims, eyes wide and round. Gone was the perfectly put together Jungkook, in was this sloppy mess of emotions. “Besides,” he says softly, cheeks a warm rosy color as he goes back to picking at his food, “you’d never wrong me like I did you.”

You hum, toying with the fork in your mouth. “Really,” you murmur, dropping the fork back on the table. You place your chin in your palm, lazily watching the movie now that you’ve missed a pivotal scene because Jungkook wanted you to beat him up. “I used your toothbrush the other day,” you mention.

Silence.

“You what?” he squawks indignantly. You glance at him from your peripherals. There’s an obvious expression of disgust on his features, eyes flickering from side to side as he digests this information. “Babe—that’s, that’s actually really…” He can’t even finish his sentence, mouth opening and closing as he finally seems to process the fact your mouth germs were on his beloved toothbrush.

“Yup,” you add. “Hope you don’t mind,” you babble on, “well, I mean, you really shouldn’t.” You glance at him, the mean streak in you crooning loudly in your ear the more and more uncomfortable he grows. “Considering you’re always spitting in my mouth.”

As wild as you and Jungkook liked to get in bed, what happened in bed mostly stayed in bed. It sounds gross to say it aloud, but he really has just been casually spitting in your mouth for the past few months. He was a dirty boy, and that fact makes him squirm.

“No, that’s different,” he frowns, obviously distraught by the valid point you bring to the table. “My toothbrush is my toothbrush.”

“I know,” you agree, nudging his foot teasingly. “Should I tell you about all the other mean stuff I do to your things that I never say sorry for?” He turns those frantic eyes on you.

“You’re lying,” he says, though there’s a question embedded within. You tilt your head to the side, as if to say, am I?.

When he doesn’t say anything more, you jump into a full novel recapture of every mean thing you’ve done and why. “And one time I was so pissed off that you finished my strawberry shampoo that I went to your house and drained the water from that stupid cactus’s pot. You know, the one Namjoon gave you?” Jungkook’s mouth opens and closes. “Why do you think it died so fast? I killed it.”

Before he can reprimand you for purposefully orchestrating the murder of his favorite senpai’s potted cactus, you’re intercepting him with yet another tale. “And another time, I was so sick of you polishing your awards all day that I went in and sprinkled a layer of adhesive pixie dust on them from the craft store, and I know it still bothers you to this day.”

“Jeez,” he sighs after a good ten parables. “It sounds like I piss you off a lot more than I think I do.”

You pat his shoulder gently, scraping the remnants of his meal into the trash can. “Yeah, but the difference is,” you say, finding your place beside him again. You don’t climb into your chair, just hover beside him until he’s begrudgingly wrapping his arms around your waist. There’s a cute pout on him, face squished against your boobs. “I routinely let out all my raging hatred against you instead of bottling it up.”

“Yeah,” he agrees sadly. “I guess so.”

Before you can let him off believing this much is fine, you intervene once more. “And also I never purposefully pick out everything you’re insecure about.”

“I didn’t know,” he cries, all traces of that suave gentlemen you love so much gone. But it’s okay, because in his place was this vulnerable puppy looking at you with the eyes of every rescue pop in those dramatic commercials on tv. Maybe Jungkook wasn’t always as cool and composed as you initially believed. But that’s okay, because you love him all the same.

“Well, now you do,” you reprimand, giving his nose a playful pinch that almost makes him sneeze. “And I think it’s only fair I get a turn.”

He pushes away from his hiding spot in your boobs with a frown. “So you won’t physically attack me, but you will verbally attack me.”

“Yes,” you respond without missing a beat. “Because you’re easy to bully and it’s probably because of the fact you didn’t have many friends in high school, which essentially made you the class loner, thus an easy target. Explains why Namjoon had to set you up on a date with someone as amazing and outgoing as me, otherwise you would have died forever alone because of your inability to talk to women and the fact you have an awfully picky personality that can be overwhelming at times. So thank me once in a while, yeah?” you smile.

Jungkook blinks. “I think I might cry,” he admits.

You cup his cheeks in your hands, puckering his lips obnoxiously for you to smooch. “Baby, you’re dating a retired Regina George. Y’gotta tighten up a bit,” you tease, relish in the tiny smile he tries to hide after your kisses.

“So is this going to be like a thing now?” he asks as you tug him over to the couch, where The Bee Movie is still playing loud and clear. He plops down and you follow, snuggling into his side. “Because I don’t think I can ever do that again. Hurting your feelings hurts my feelings.”

You snort, taking in his smell and his warmth beside you. Jungkook sinks into the cushions, pulling you close into his chest until the soft beats of his heart echo in your ears. “No— unless you want it to be?”

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[maddys-mad-menagerie-asks]

@devouring-hive​

Not long after setting up their plans, an unusual presence is felt throughout the Menagerie- like that of a breach. It is magical; of that there can be no doubt to anyone in the know, though to what ends and from where it comes is unknowable... To all but two, anywho.

While certainly she had to wait a bit longer for the rhythmic knocking in order to confirm, Sweet Pea could likely tell almost immediately that that was her cue to check around back for her prize... What a delight, being the one receiving prizes instead of giving them out for once!

What she comes face to face with first is a truncated view of an ungodly pile of, not sweets as may have been expected, but fruits and vegetable dishes! —With particular and special care taken to a plethora of potato-based meals, desserts made with dates, and all other manners of surprisingly-high-calorie 'healthy options'.

...Secondly though, peeking out from behind the pile, Sweet Pea is presented with the face of the Menagerie's new 'Maddy Maniac'.

"Well hello, you came! I do hope that thizzz izz enough, I wazzzn't zzure how much you could handle- but I zzzupozze that's what this is for, hm? It'zzz lovely to finally meet one of you in perzzon by the way~"

...Evidently, calling herself 'Bee' wasn't a misnomer. The bee-woman standing there awash in contained excitement even speaks like how you'd expect a bee to.

It makes her dedication a little bit more frightening to consider, knowing that such things as 'bee-women' should not exist in this world.

There’s a certain stillness in the air once Bee manages to slip into the building, mostly as the few people that are there can’t seem to believe what they’re seeing. A very snappy response from one of the managers, a blonde woman in glasses, is quick to run over to each person and convince them that what they’re seeing is some kind of performer or cosplayer or special effects. Whatever they’ll accept along with a coupon for free Berri Juice refills if they keep it to themselves and don’t bother the woman while she’s here.

With that crisis averted, a very eager string bean finally hears a knock from the back of the establishment. Could it be? Would her follow-up with her secret admirer in Bee finally be paying off and that was her, there and now? She makes her way around the back rooms, usually not open to the public, to meet with the woman on the other side of the door in the back.

Her first sight is the massive pile of veggies and goodies all meant for her! Wow, Bee really had outdone herself! She can’t believe one person would go to all this effort to want to impress her of all of The Mascots! Like, you had to impress Maddy or Red to get a chance to settle with them, but not her! Sweetpea probably was the easiest to please and surprise and, wow, did this really take the cake! Figuratively, of course.

After realizing that Bee was actually behind the pile, she looks around and past it to finally meet her admirer face-to-face. To say that she wasn’t expecting Bee to be an actual bee-woman is an understatement. However, she thinks that is both perfect and leaves it open for so many puns to be had. She can’t seem to help herself as she loads one right up into the chamber as her grin extends from ear-to-ear.

“Oh? I can’t Bee-lieve it, you’re actually here and you’re soooooooo, like, poggers? I can’t help it, though. You’re making my heart blossom, giving me tu-lips to want to kiss you with~!”

Yes, this is how she talks and Bee had better be willing to put up with it. She kind of can’t turn it off, you see. An internet-poisoned mind is just that, forever poisoned. Wow, she is very cute and small in-person, though. The pictures do not do it justice about how big they are compared to people. Probably to be all the more huggable as Sweetpea looks up to Bee with a mischievous grin, to her pile of treats and then back to her again.

“Shall we get started then, Bee? Don’t just leave me buzzing with excitement, ye~?”

[dancemachinetrait]

1st May, 1908- Little Windenburg Village Hall

Extract from Clem’s diary

The Church Ladies outdid themselves for the dance. There wasn’t a surface to be seen in the hall that wasn’t bedecked in flora. It’s been absolutely cut-throat between them all and the atmosphere in church has been sizzling every Sunday for a month. Miss Lee and Mrs Yates are practically cutting each other dead. Still I must say it looked magnificent, like Titania’s bower. 

I felt sure I’d be a wall-flower all night, despite Daisy’s best efforts to remedy the pig’s ear I’d made of my hair, but Oliver Elbsen asked me to dance right away.

I overheard Myrtle Stephens make a cattish remark to Sybil Copeland about what gangly, red-headed babies we would have. The very thought sent a shiver down my spine. Still, I managed not to tread on his toes, or if I did he was too polite to say so. I was dreadfully afraid that I’d put one of my beastly French heels right through his foot.

Afterwards he insisted on fetching me a glass of punch as though I hadn’t two legs in perfect working order. (As well as they could work in those wretched shoes! When I think what they must have cost Mother I am racked with guilt for despising them.) We ‘sat out’ and talked of football and what he had read in the Boy’s Own. He supports Foxbury Town, I, of course, the ‘Windies’ (Windenburg Wanderers), and we had a heated but amiable debate. 

I was beginning to think we could be chums, although I would have much rather talked to Hon. Poor Hon! It seems so beastly unfair that I should dance, and hate it, when she would love to and isn’t allowed. I could tell she was sorry about it although she wouldn’t have let anyone see it for the world. What a brick she is. 

Dizzy was the belle of the ball, of course. There was scarcely a boy in Little Windenburg she didn’t dance with. She stopped by in between dances to fill me in on the pertinent happenings. Norman Dunn caught it with the Church Ladies for taking liberties with Midge Sheldon’s person- although Midge didn’t seem to mind the taking of the said liberties, and might be said to have given of them freely. (Not Daisy’s exact words.) Myrtle and Justice Bowlinger had danced together twice, and she looked like the cat who got the cream and was lording it over all the other girls. What a perfectly pompous pair they would make! I wish them joy of each other. 

I had almost begun to enjoy myself, in spite of the pinching of the horrid shoes. And then as Oliver and I were walking out of the hall, he stopped at the door and waited for me to go through. Nobody ever did that for me before. And I was struck with this awful thought, like a bolt of lightning: ‘He thinks I’m a girl.’ I couldn’t say a word to him after that. I couldn’t stop thinking it. I still can’t. What can it mean? Of course I’m a girl. I have to be one. 

And yet...and yet, I know in my heart I’m not. I’m not, and I can’t make myself be. There! I’ve written that down now. I shall have to hide this diary more carefully than ever, and leave instructions in my will to have it burned. When I think of living my whole life with everyone thinking I’m a woman I want to scream and scream. 

I got up just now and looked at myself in the mirror. I don’t look very girlish. I’ve got straight eyebrows and Papa’s nose and- thank heaven- hardly any bosom. The idea of having a bosom like Mother’s always filled me with dread and I hadn’t the least idea why. 

What am I, if not a girl? What hiatus is there between my bodily structure and my feelings? Perhaps I am neuter, like the bees.

previous | next | beginning

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AUTHOR’S NOTE:

A big fat L-O-L to the idea that I was ever going to get this done before actual May Day came and went.

In terms of Clem’s pronouns, I am going to continue to use she/her in the story until Clem has figured out how they prefer to be referred to. Outside of the story I currently think of them as they/them.

I drew on a couple of real historical sources for this story. Clem’s moment when Oliver holds the door open is based on this passage from Out of the Ordinary, the autobiography of Michael Dillon. Dillon was a trans man who transitioned in the late 1930s. The story he tells took place in around the 1920s, but I saw no reason why something similar couldn’t have happened to Clem in 1908.

The second source is an anonymous queer person who was interviewed by Havelock Ellis in the late 19th century. Ellis conducted numerous interviews with queer people and got them to write testimonials about their life experiences which were published anonymously. They are a fascinating look at how real queer people saw themselves.

The end of Clem’s diary entry references this quote from one of the testimonials:

‘I had never come across any theories on the subject, but I decided that I must belong to a third sex of some kind. I used to wonder if I was like the neuter bees! I knew physical and psychical sex feeling and yet I seemed to know it quite otherwise from other men and women. I asked myself if I could endure living a woman's life, bearing children and doing my duty by them. I asked myself what hiatus there could be between my bodily structure and my feelings, and also what was the meaning of the strong physical feelings which had me in their grip without choice of my own." Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume II, History XXXIX

Last of all, but most certainly not least! Thank you so, so much to the lovely @simming-in-the-rain for making me so many beautiful sims (including Oliver!) when I hit a brick wall and simply could not make any more background characters. I’m sorry to the other people who made me sims I didn’t get to use this time; they may turn up in a later installment.

[newtonsheffield]

On the note of your latest headcanon about Edwina, I really feel like she and Anthony should have a heart to heart at some point. So Anthony knows that Edwina really approves of Anthony, because he sees the Kate Eddie has always seen - the beautiful, brilliant, head-strong Kate people have overlooked for years. Just something for you to possibly write about. :)

Hello again! I agree that Eddie and Anthony need to have a little chat! Edwina loves Kate just as much as Kate loves her and it is my firm opinion that if that Mischievous little bee hadn’t intervened and Anthony had actually had the idiocy to propose to her, Edwina would have cackled in his face and let out a very confused “...No?” and I feel people often forget just how astute Edwina is. 

Someone else was also interested in seeing a little more of our girl, Eddie!  

Anon asked: I loved the hc from Edwina’s pov do you think you’ll do any more? Like how she views Kate and Anthony’s relationship or something? Yes! I am doing some more Edwina! And I’m glad you liked her! 

Let’s see what Edwina has to say about Anthony Bridgerton dating her sister!

Edwina Sheffield had known Anthony Bridgerton since she was a teenager. She’d sat in her dormitory at university on more than one occasion and listened, biting her lip to keep from laughing, as he begged his sister not to get arrested at a women’s rights protest.  “El, I just don’t want you to get in trouble. I’m very proud of you for standing up for your beliefs but do you think this is the best way to do it? If I have to bathe your eyes in milk one more time I swear to god, Eloise-” but Anthony had been cut off as Edwina lost her battle to contain her laughter. Anthony had spun towards her, a fairly incredulous look on his face and Edwina had said 

“You just remind me so much of my sister, I should really introduce you to Kate sometime.” And Anthony had said pointedly staring at his sister. “Well given that you’ve never been arrested, Edwina, Kate must be very sensible.” 

Of course, then he’d met her sister Kate and decided quite the opposite. Edwina had been at a charity gala for something or other that her publicist had begged her to attend when Anthony had sidled up beside her and said  “Edwina Sheffield, you’re in rather a lot of trouble.” Edwina had laughed spinning towards him a little surprised and said  “Anthony, you haven’t scared me since I was 18 and I realised that under all of this bravado, you’re just a big softie.” Anthony had huffed a little indignantly and said  “ How did you never tell me that your older sister is an absolute menace?”  Edwina had laughed still more, he curiosity to hear Anthony’s side of the story getting the better of her a little.  “And what did my menace of a sister do to you?” She said, watching Anthony carefully as he told his story,  his eyes wide with disbelief but not exactly angry, and certainly not the hatred he was trying to convey. Edwina clucked her tongue tapping her fingers against the side of her champagne glass.  “Well, I’m very glad she put my birthday gift to good use.” Anthony’s mouth dropped open in surprise and Edwina continued leaning in a little conspiratorially “And by the way, Kate told me you were an insufferable arsehole so you might want to work on that if you want to woo her.” And Edwina walked off leaving him spluttering behind her  “I don’t want to woo her!” He called out though Edwina privately thought that was exactly what he wanted. 

Anthony’s birthday party was in full swing when it happened. Colin and Eloise had been secretly topping up Anthony’s drink for hours and he was certainly more than a little buzzed. Edwina watched on laughing with Eloise as Kate swatted Anthony’s hands away, shaking her head at her boyfriend attempting valiantly to carry on her conversation with Daphne as he whispered in her ear. And then Anthony caught sight of Edwina, and his eyes widened  “Edwina Sheffield I want to talk to you!” Anthony yelled, roughly shoving his way towards her, his words slurring a little, as he flopped into the seat next to her that Eloise had just vacated. His eyes a little glazed as he stared into her eyes, Edwina bit back a laugh at her sister’s boyfriend, normally so proper, desperately trying to tell her something. “ I want to tell you something, Edwina it’s very important.” He said, nodding a little, Edwina tried to keep her voice serious as she spoke. “What is it Anthony?”  “I love your sister.” He yelled in her ear and Edwina’s heart clenched a little. Because honestly, as if she doubted it. It was as plain as the nose on his face, and the fact that he’d sought Edwina out just to say this, was... well it was really very sweet.  “I know you do, Anthony.” Edwina said smiling softly. Anthony’s eyes widened even more.  “No, Eddie, you don’t understand. I LOVE her. And I just want you, and your mum to like me because if you don’t like me, I don’t think Katie’s gonna love me anymore.” He said seriously, still slurring his words. And Edwina’s heart clenched again truly glad for her sister having found this very kind, clearly very besotted man. Before she could reassure him Anthony was distracted, bless him, by Kate’s arrival. “Oh my God, Eddie here she is, Here’s Kate! I Love Kate!” He yelled, leaping up to wrap his arms around her sister burying his face in her hair. Kate sent Edwina an apologetic look though she could barely keep the soft smile from her face as she ushered Anthony away. 

The next morning Edwina sat at the kitchen table calmly eating a bowl of cereal when Anthony shuffled out looking very much worse for wear. His hair was disheveled, his eyes a little bloodshot, moving very carefully wincing every few steps. “Well there’s sleeping beauty.” Edwina smirked, Anthony gave her what she assumed was the closest thing to a sarcastic look he could manage this morning. “Kate’s out for a run.” She explained. Anthony nodded, wincing again. “Remind me to kill Colin and Eloise when I see them next.” He said, his voice a little hoarse. Edwina chuckled,  “I’m afraid I can’t do that. You were very entertaining, I think Drunk Anthony is my idol.” She said lightly, laughing at her sister’s boyfriend as he looked wearily at her. “How bad was it?”  Edwina hummed “How bad would you say attempting to grope Kate in front of your mother was?” Anthony’s mouth fell open “To Violet’s credit she was barely ruffled.” Anthony dropped his head in his hands, groaning. Edwina bit her lip, maybe now wasn’t the best time but she might not get another chance. 

“You also had something very interesting to say about Kate to me.” Anthony’s head shot up, alarmed. Edwina continued quickly, her voice placating  “It was very sweet, don’t worry. You told me that you loved her, and maybe that you desperately wanted me and Mum to like you? Is that True?” Anthony’s eyes were wide.  “I love your sister, Eddie. And I know we haven’t been together very long but-” His voice was soft, beseeching almost and Edwina’s heart clenched at the honestly in his voice.  “Anthony,” she said cutting him off softly. “Mum and I know that you love Kate. I’m honestly not sure how you could not see it. And I’ve waited a very long time for someone to see the incredible person that Kate is. She’s so beautiful, and strong and smart, and kind. And I could not be more glad that that person is you.” Edwina couldn’t stop her voice from cracking a little as Anthony stared at her, his eyes glazing over slightly more. He cleared his throat carefully before he spoke “I think she’s the most incredible person I’ve ever met.” His voice was soft, Edwina felt a warm feeling spreading through her chest.  “I know you do. But if I’m wrong about you, and you hurt her. I’ll kill you myself, Anthony Bridgerton.” Her voice firm, Anthony’s eyes widened in surprise, he made to respond but stopped suddenly as the front door opened, Kate appearing second slater, a light sheen of sweat on her forehead, slightly out of breath. 

“Oh rise and shine honey, how’s your head?” Kate said, grinning, leaning down to kiss Anthony’s cheek. He huffed. Edwina Smirked

“I was just filling prince Charming in on his exploits last night.” She said lightly. Kate laughed again, as she made her way further into the kitchen, pouring two bowls of cereal.  “Did you get to the part where he told Francesca how much he loves shower sex? because that’s my favourite part.” Kate said, smirking, as a look of Absolute horror spread over her boyfriend’s face. 

This really went on for too long. I’m sorry