#women are spiritually and emotionally stronger than men

[terven-queen]

[cupidlovesastro]

❄️other post you will love🩵

moon placements masterlist

moon sign and your mother

water sign observations

cancer represents motherhood, children, protection, empathy, intuition, family, nurturing, femininity, sensitivity, emotions, unconscious, loyalty

moon represents emotions, intuitions, comforts, unconscious mind, instincts, spirituality, motherhood, fertility, femininity, and your home

topics in this post- emotions, comforts, good mom traits, bad mom traits, cancer moon face, your house/ room, cancer moon celebrities

♋︎ cancer moons tend to be much more emotional than other moon signs. they are highly intuitive and i always say that cancer intuition is like “blatant” intuition, and they are usually very upfront about it. to them, intuition is like another sense, like seeing or hearing. they tend to feel many of their emotions deeply and may be clairsentient (the ability to sense other’s emotions). they also have a motherly and nurturing energy to them. people may admire or look to them for some kind of comfort or guidance. they are definitely the mom friend and the therapist friend. they are highly empathetic as well. they can be quite dramatic emotionally, and can tend to be up and down. they may value family over many other things and could desire to be a mother. even if they don’t crave a family, they can have more of a connection/ easier time with children than other placements. they tend to be quite sensitive and can be huge cry babies. they also tend to be more stuck in their feelings and moods more than other placements. and they can be very nostalgic and reminisce on things quite a bit. cancer moons can be naturally very friendly and caring, and tend to have a bigger heart than others. they are extremely compassionate as well

♋︎ things that give you comfort can be things from your childhood or that remind you of your parents or family. you find comfort in things that bring you nostalgia and you likely enjoy looking or reflecting on old memories, photos, videos, etc. there could be a stuffed animal or something sentimental that makes you feel comfort as well

♋︎ if you had a good mom, she was very motherly and had many motherly qualities. she was very present as a mother figure in your life, and tried to guide you through life. she was there for your emotions and emotional needs as well. she could’ve been very understanding of your feelings and knew how to comfort you. she was empathetic to your feelings and was gentle with you. she may have also praised you a lot, and constantly reassured you or reminded you that she loved you, cared for you, etc. you were definitely babied and spoiled (doesn’t have to be financially) and shown a lot of love from her

♋︎ if you had a bad mom, she was emotionally manipulative and may have made everything about her feelings. she could’ve put you in a position where you had to mother her, you had to guide her, etc. she forced you to grow up faster than you wanted to. if you have siblings, you were definitely the sibling who your mom put all the responsibility on and expected you to take care of everyone else including her. your mom may have not been a mother figure at all in a way, she could’ve been more like a friend or just absent. she may claim to be like a mother or that she tried when really she didn’t. she may lack empathy, emotional intelligence, doesn’t understand you, isn’t loyal to her children (like she chooses other people over her kids) etc

♋︎ cancer moon people have rounder faces or shorter faces. some, mainly men, have squarish faces and a stronger jawline and chin. their eyebrows are medium- thick and are straighter or rounded. they have bigger, more prominent, and/or rounder cheeks than others. many of the women seem to have longer necks and almond shaped eyes. then women have bigger and/ or rounder chins as well

↓(if you don’t have a house, apply this to your room)↓

♋︎ your house may have whitish, grayish, or bluish colors. your house may be very nostalgic for you and have lots of things from your childhood or at least things that remind you of your childhood. there may also be some decor that your mom bought you. you may also have some spiritual decor like crystals, incens, etc. your family members may love your house and people get a sense of comfort from your house as well. the choices you made for your house were also very intuitive and something you put your heart into

♋︎ celebrities with cancer moon- mariah carey, drake, shakira, tom cruise, robert pattinson, kurt cobain, keanu reeves, catherine princess of wales, jimi hendrix, gwen stefani, kris jenner, drew barrymore, courtney love, asap rocky, isaac newton

[letters-of-libertas]

I'm bi and yeah your note on women not having solidarity seems sadly true. Apart from not dating men would there be anything you would suggest to improve ones life apart from stating away from those women if possible?

I love this question because this is how to start thinking: being practical.

What it takes to "improve ones life" is subjective so with that said firstly define what a better life(style) for yourself away from moids would look like. Temporarily mentally remove xy terrorist existence. What would your habits/routine be? What would you work towards & pour your energy into? What would you want to be? What would you center your life around? Take your time with these questions or anymore that come up. Have a general idea then be more specific and start breaking your life down into sectors/sections/areas, then look at where you want to be in those areas and work towards it.

For example; I divide my life into 6-7 aspects:

Physical Strength - Not just about muscle but knowing how to fight, where to hit and when to fight. Being stronger makes it easier to defend yourself in altercations (especially with other women). Some mfs will try you & you cant always rely on others coming to your rescue. Also work on building stamina to help endurance, and keeping as healthy as possible.

Emotional Strength - If you cant control your emotions they will control you. In a world of chaos being emotionally strong will let you cut through the noise and focus on what truly matters. Building emotional strength is not easy but it's worth it. Being able to rise above immediate reactions and pace yourself will allow you to assess situations more rationally & make more beneficial choices.

Finances - Get your bag up. Having money to gain resources is imperative to quality of life. I dont care what anyone says having a certain amount of money in life WILL make you happier as you're able to meet your needs better. Having more money/resources also makes it easier to support other women should you choose to do so, it also allows you to be more influential and have more control over your life. However, dont become a slave to getting money tho because that's how you get scammed.

Network - The type of people you hang around can make or break who you are as a person. Aim to connect with likeminded women who will encourage & inspire you as you go on this journey. Hang around people that value & will be honest with you while giving you grace. Not all women you engage with have to be single & childfree but beware the moid crazy ones because they will bring danger to you in their quest for maIe validation. Life isn't perfect but you cant go wrong having the right people around you, valuable relationships are hard to find but it goes a long way even if it's just online. However, no company > bad company.

Spirituality/Guide - Having something bigger than yourself to guide you through the chaos in this world can offer guidance/purpose that keeps you grounded & focused. For many people generally this is religion/god. Not everyone needs or ascribes to religion/spirituality though, but at least consider sets of morals/beliefs to follow. However even that isn't for everyone. So if you feel better off without spirituality or a 'higher' guide at least be clear on it & your reasons why (for yourself).

Hobbies & Interests - As turbulent as the world is, find things to enjoy amidst the chaos. Constant work, doom, and gloom will not change anything you will only hurt yourself. Take time to indulge in things that make you happy to recharge & relax. Engage in hobbies that serve you, share your passion with other women & hear theirs out too. It goes a long way in terms of mental health.

Security - It takes privilege to decide to not get married or have children as a woman & live it out. Everyone's situation is different so what I'll generally suggest is to constantly look into how you can protect yourself, have backup methods, and stay in the loop of xy predation. Dont drown in it but moids are predators & being completely blind to them is being blind to danger. Elaborated on point 10 here.

Sounds like a lot? Great, it'll keep you busy because this isn't a vacation or destination but a lifestyle. And to be honest, some of y'all can do with the busyness as it'll let you focus on what actually matters. This not to say to overwhelm yourself in things for the sake of it but to prioritise your energy on effective things for your life. As you focus on building you'll find that you have less energy to care about insignificant stuff or stuff out of your control anyways. For example, Instead of getting wound up about user somerandomadjectivefem stirring discourse calling you an extremist or whining about how impossible it is for her & other women to live without romantic love n' whatnot (or even women irl pulling this crap), you either ignore or quickly shut down the conversation & swiftly move on.

Everything I've mentioned are just examples, you may feel differently do whatever you feel best applies. Also remember to enjoy the process along the way as you are living through it afterall :3

Long story short: Work on building resources & other aspects of your life up for yourself.

[sexisdisgusting]

okay so hear me out, I have a theory.......... I think men are physically stronger than women, yes, but I think women are emotionally stronger than men. Think about it. Sure, theres a lot of emotionally weak women- "handmaidens" for example. But women has always had the advantage of being able to emotionally adapt to the cruelist of environments. Women have always been the ones to teach compassion and empathy.

Im not one of those people who say "oh men are all terrible, they all lack empathy and emotions" but I do think its true that women are the ones who are emotionally superior to men.

Men love to paint women as "emotionally fragile" crybabies and all that. The "hysterical women". They see women's emotional superiority as weakness instead of a gift. When in reality, its always been an advantage.

I mean look at the crime statistics. Look how many men turn to violence (which requires emotional immaturity) when things don't go their way.

Look how TiMs act compared to TiFs. Look how any women acts when she idolizes/relies on men, she becomes emotionally immature.

And if you think about it biologically and spiritually, it makes sense. To survive, women needed to rely on her emotions to weed out undesirable mates. Men needed to be physically strong to defend. Women may be physically weaker, but men are emotionally weaker.

This is why men are such threats. It's that lack of emotion that is dangerous. It's also why abuse from a mother can be more damaging than abuse from a father. Mothers are meant to be the nurturing counterpart. Mothers teach you how to control your emotions and be a better leader as mothers are inherently the "leader" of the relationship. When that relationship is fucked up, when the father is the one "in charge", it destroys everything because the father is less emotional and more out of control. It's why most abusive fathers are more outwardly aggressive. Yet women, who have abusive fathers, are better at handling it than men. Yet when a woman has an abusive mother, it hits harder because it affects her emotional growth.

I like how mainstream media loves to paint abusive mothers as more common than it is. Don't get me wrong, I grown up with an abusive mom. But what people don't talk about is that more often than not it's reactionary abuse. A lot of moms I've seen who were abusive were also "boy moms". It's fucking rare to see a mother who's just naturally abusive toward her children without influence from a man or drugs. Not saying it doesnt happen, but its not "common". Its nowhere near an "unspoken issue thats bigger than people think".

I dunno, im being controversial lol

I FUCKING HAD A CONVERSATION LIKE THIS THE OTHER DAY GIRL I AM GRABBING YOU BY YOUR SHOULDERS AND SHAKING YOU SO HARD BECAUSE YES!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES SYNFHAYZSYSYCYES

yes

YES

THEY LOOOOVE SAYING "women are soooo emotional lol" but they are the ones who KILL WOMEN FOR SAYING 'NO' TO THEM

and

OFTEN

when

MOTHERS ABUSE their KIDS it stems from abuse that came from other places in their lives, the media LOVES talking about evil mothers and highlighting it but men constantly abuse their kids because theyre all emotionally immature idiots who dont know how to regulate their emotions by nature

stoppppp im so happy we're mutuals youre so fucking SMART I WISH I COULD KISS UR BRAIN

[tellurian-in-aristasia]

BLONDE AND BRUNETTE The Aristasian Sexes

There are two sexes in this world, Alice Clarke Marshall, blonde and brunette. Brunettes are like me: dashing, adventurous, strong and all that sort of thing. Blondes are like you: beautiful, delicate, weak, nervous and simply adorable. Hair colour, in case you are confused about that point, has absolutely nothing to do with it.

-THE SERVING-GIRL

LEHNYA was young. As a matter of fact, she had never taken a blonde to the cinema before. She knew very little about blondes, except that they were a wholly different order of humanity; so frail, some said, that one might break their bones by holding them too roughly. Certainly frail of heart and delicate of limb; swept by unpredictable moods and tempestuous passions; beautiful, sensitive, thrilling, mysterious and utterly, utterly different from oneself.

-CHILDREN OF THE VOID

IN ARISTASIA there are no men. All the inhabitants are feminine. There are nevertheless two sexes in Aristasia: blondes and brunettes.

Aristasian brunettes are about as feminine as a normal human woman—that is to say, about twice as feminine as a human woman in the last quarter of the 20th century. Aristasian blondes, on the other hand, are ultra-feminine.

On the question of blondes and brunettes, it should be understood that, as with men and women, the two sexes are mentally, physically, emotionally and psychologically different. And, as with men and women, the differences are greater rather than less than they superficially appear to be. Brunettes are very much stronger physically than blondes (the difference is rather more marked than that between men and women). They are in many respects more practical and more "steady". The emotions of a blonde are a surging torrent, her perspective often quite unworldly.

To say, however, that brunettes are the "dominant sex" is a considerable oversimplification. Blondes are regarded with the highest respect, and are often considered to be the custodians of a higher wisdom. They are often Princesses and sovereign rulers of nations and principalities; they are often priestesses and philosophers (philosophy in Aristasia being far from a dry academic discipline). In the practical affairs of life they usually (but not always) take second place—but practicalities, utilitarian matters, work, money and material are not nearly so highly regarded in Aristasia as they have long been in your world. In many ways brunettes can be regarded as the more useful but less important sex. If this last statement is a shade unfair, it is certainly no less incorrect than the assumption that blondes are the "inferior sex"—it is probably on the side of blonde rather than brunette superiority that Aristasia is prone to err.

Nevertheless a blonde will tend to be submissive to her own brunette, and perhaps submissive in general. In Aristasia submission is considered a spiritual quality. At the same time Brunettes will pay respect to blondes, standing, for example, when one enters a room. There is a delicate and charming interplay of respect and submission between the two sexes.

It is partly because of their sacredness that blondes are treated more strictly than brunettes under many circumstances (though as with many generalisations one may make about Aristasia there is also a converse side: a brunette may often receive severer punishment as the party who ought to have been more responsible. Much can be forgiven blonde frailty and the highly emotional nature of blonde psychology). We will encounter throughout this book the idea that frequent chastening is a necessary part of the upbringing of a blonde and helps her to develop gentleness, purity and a delicate ætherial sensibility.

Those unfamiliar with the Aristasian mind might fancy that they detect here a trace of the dogma of "social conditioning" so dear to the doctrinaire masculinists of your post-Eclipse.—The dogma, that is, that there are no real mental or psychological differencesbetween the sexes (women being but men in differently-shaped bodies) and that everything we know by the name of femininity is only "social conditioning" forced upon women by men. It is a curious dogma, especially in view of the fact that the copious scientific research conducted in recent years in your world shows incontestably that the mental and psychological differences between men and women are inborn, ineradicable and if anything more wide-ranging than even the Victorians imagined. However, your post-Eclipse world never allows scientific facts to interfere with its official social mythologies.

The truth is that femininity is a natural and vitally important aspect of human existence which has been undervalued and undermined in your world for millennia, and the ultimate consummation of this process is the extirpation of femininity from its last refuge: the heart of woman herself—a process which is only possible because woman has been tricked by the subtly twisted arguments of a false "feminism" into collaborating with her own de-feminisation.

Since Aristasia knows nothing of these matters, it goes without saying for an Aristasian that the upbringing of a blonde—however it may vary in different places—is not a question of inculcating an artificial consciousness, but of coöperating with nature, of developing her inborn sensibility, of creating a perfect blondeness; an image of the Archetype of femininity; a marriage of nature and art.

Source

[poeblissorton]

character design sheet (3)

Having women on board pirate ships was apparently considered bad luck by pirates and sailors. However, some of the most successful pirates, were women. Portrayals of pirates in today’s media often include women and female pirates which is interesting to see. It’s interesting to see the development of our perception of women compared to the objectification of earlier times. Women were considered bad luck, unless they were naked. It was said that clothed women would ‘distract’ the men, being bad luck, but naked women would calm the seas. I think this take is strange and more of an excuse rather than something they genuinely believed.

This also seems to be why a lot of the figureheads on the fronts of boats were women with bare chests. However, women may also have been allowed on board as they were considered to be great at directions and navigation, which could be another reason why there were clothed women on the front of boats, as they were guiding the ship itself. These were considered superstitions, and of course, naked women did not calm the seas. But I also believe that its interesting to see the amount of spiritual beliefs that pirates had, maybe not even towards a particular God, but legends and myths of the sea.

There were also instances of women having to disguise themselves as men to carry out their voyages, such as Mary Read. Mary Read was also a crew mate of the well known Anne Bonny. I think its interesting that two women were allowed on board as part of the crew during this time period. They were also on the same ship as Calico Jack.

Audience & demographic

I think it would be interesting to combat these earlier beliefs, using a female character as the captain of her own ship taking her own voyage. Audience wise, this would probably make my story appeal more to women.

I believe my audience would be middle age or older teenagers, I wouldn’t direct my story towards children. It mentions themes of death, which even if not specified or detailed, it still isn’t a topic I think would be suitable for children. Of course, death can be a part of children’s media, but when the main topic is a desperate mother searching for her child’s toy after she passed away, I think this is a topic that is more complex emotionally and would be better suited to a slightly older audience who can better understand the themes.

https://disney.fandom.com/wiki/Sarah_Hawkins#:~:text=Background-,Personality,supports%20him%20in%20his%20adventures.

In the movie Treasure Planet, Jim’s mother, Sarah Hawkins, plays a role in the plot and it displays her personality as a mother well. Taking inspiration from her character, I want to make this character self assured and protective of her loved ones, and also being intelligent and strong willed. Particularly in mother characters this is becoming more common, with women as mothers being shown as much stronger and independent than they seem whilst still being feminine. I personally am a fan of this development and I like the trope of a protective mother.

[joanshan]

Men, Rise!

A long, long time ago, when the light of human consciousness was still undimmed, there existed a balance between genders. The males and females on this planet intuitively knew their part in the plan (though not necessarily in the way we think of gender roles today). Women were the portals of life and the carriers of spiritual wisdom and guidance, and men were the guardians and protectors. The work of women was truly sacred. Men sought women’s guidance in all decision-making, and in return, they created a safe place for women to do their work.

Today the world evolved to greater complexity in terms of genders and the roles we take on. However, our core original gifts are still within us – women still bring life to the planet and as such, have a stronger connection to spirit and a deeper understanding of the value of life, and men are still built to guard and protect. This, however, applies to the two genders in general and does not obligate every individual to follow a specific path. For example, a woman choosing to serve in the army and never have children should be respected and honored, but it does not negate the broader energetic makeup of the genders.

Recently, a YouTube video triggered within me a memory of the sacred role of men and the deeply powerful safe space that they can create for women within any relationship, a space, in which the women can exhale and feel empowered and uplifted. This, I thought, is what men can truly offer women – a profoundly safe space, not only physically, but mentally, and emotionally.

And yet… at no time in recorded human history did men (collectively) make women (collectively) feel truly safe. Instead, there was a systematic dismantling of the women’s sense of value and safety. Over the centuries, women were stripped of their identity as the spiritual navigation system of humanity and prevented from engaging in their sacred duties. Women lost the ability to manage their lives and were required to be obedient to their male counterparts. Women were denied participation in social and political systems and had to rely on men to shape their lives. Women were stripped of financial independence and were forced to be fully dependent on their male family members. Women were used by men for pleasure and then shamed for it and forced to bear sole responsibility for any consequences. Women lost the ability to control their biological functions and to make choices about the timing and direction of their lives. Women were held responsible for the physical, emotional, and sexual violence that was done to them and had little opportunity for escape. The list can go on and on…

Today’s women learned to keep themselves safe in many different ways – they use martial arts, walk in groups, carry pepper sprays, promote code phrases that can allow one to escape unwanted and potentially violent attention in a public place, and so on. And you may shake your head and think, “poor women,” but let’s be clear, the consequences of the way that women in our world are made to feel are profound for all of us, extending to the entire humanity.

Imagine that a person engages in self-harm (cutting, for example), but only cuts the left arm, always leaving the right arm free of physical scars. You would probably agree that the experience of self-mutilation would affect the whole person regardless of which part of the body was cut. In the same way, when one half of humanity harms the other, the entire humanity feels the pain whether it realizes it or not. When the spiritual guides and wisdom keepers of the species are treated as no more than mommas at a baby mill, the consciousness of the entire planet suffers, and without a strong spiritual guidance system, all of humanity is bound to wander about without finding its path.

We are at a point in human evolution when the consequences of the imbalance between genders (regardless of one’s sexual orientation or individual job preferences) are coming to the surface. We must heal this imbalance so we can move forward as a species, so it is time to remember who women are and what they represent. Men, rise and answer your divine call to be the guardians of humanity. Honor women for their wisdom and their power. Realize that as portals of life women are not only seeded with respect for it, they also carry an innate understanding of how to manage its flow. Rise, men, and use your beautiful strength to create a safe place for women.

Source: Men, Rise!

[awakenedhypnosis17]

Men, Rise!

A long, long time ago, when the light of human consciousness was still undimmed, there existed a balance between genders. The males and females on this planet intuitively knew their part in the plan (though not necessarily in the way we think of gender roles today). Women were the portals of life and the carriers of spiritual wisdom and guidance, and men were the guardians and protectors. The work of women was truly sacred. Men sought women’s guidance in all decision-making, and in return, they created a safe place for women to do their work.

Today the world evolved to greater complexity in terms of genders and the roles we take on. However, our core original gifts are still within us – women still bring life to the planet and as such, have a stronger connection to spirit and a deeper understanding of the value of life, and men are still built to guard and protect. This, however, applies to the two genders in general and does not obligate every individual to follow a specific path. For example, a woman choosing to serve in the army and never have children should be respected and honored, but it does not negate the broader energetic makeup of the genders.

Recently, a YouTube video triggered within me a memory of the sacred role of men and the deeply powerful safe space that they can create for women within any relationship, a space, in which the women can exhale and feel empowered and uplifted. This, I thought, is what men can truly offer women – a profoundly safe space, not only physically, but mentally, and emotionally.

And yet… at no time in recorded human history did men (collectively) make women (collectively) feel truly safe. Instead, there was a systematic dismantling of the women’s sense of value and safety. Over the centuries, women were stripped of their identity as the spiritual navigation system of humanity and prevented from engaging in their sacred duties. Women lost the ability to manage their lives and were required to be obedient to their male counterparts. Women were denied participation in social and political systems and had to rely on men to shape their lives. Women were stripped of financial independence and were forced to be fully dependent on their male family members. Women were used by men for pleasure and then shamed for it and forced to bear sole responsibility for any consequences. Women lost the ability to control their biological functions and to make choices about the timing and direction of their lives. Women were held responsible for the physical, emotional, and sexual violence that was done to them and had little opportunity for escape. The list can go on and on…

Today’s women learned to keep themselves safe in many different ways – they use martial arts, walk in groups, carry pepper sprays, promote code phrases that can allow one to escape unwanted and potentially violent attention in a public place, and so on. And you may shake your head and think, “poor women,” but let’s be clear, the consequences of the way that women in our world are made to feel are profound for all of us, extending to the entire humanity.

Imagine that a person engages in self-harm (cutting, for example), but only cuts the left arm, always leaving the right arm free of physical scars. You would probably agree that the experience of self-mutilation would affect the whole person regardless of which part of the body was cut. In the same way, when one half of humanity harms the other, the entire humanity feels the pain whether it realizes it or not. When the spiritual guides and wisdom keepers of the species are treated as no more than mommas at a baby mill, the consciousness of the entire planet suffers, and without a strong spiritual guidance system, all of humanity is bound to wander about without finding its path.

We are at a point in human evolution when the consequences of the imbalance between genders (regardless of one’s sexual orientation or individual job preferences) are coming to the surface. We must heal this imbalance so we can move forward as a species, so it is time to remember who women are and what they represent. Men, rise and answer your divine call to be the guardians of humanity. Honor women for their wisdom and their power. Realize that as portals of life women are not only seeded with respect for it, they also carry an innate understanding of how to manage its flow. Rise, men, and use your beautiful strength to create a safe place for women.

Source- Discover the power within as men rise to their true potential. Explore the transformative journey of self-discovery and empowerment.

[karezzasstuff]

From the project of interviewing Stanley S. Bass about his experiences with Karezza techniques, The Life Science Publishing created the 2008 book Energy-Karezza. Here Dr. Bass tells the story of how, in his 30’s, he was on his way to become a celibate yogi through Brahmacharya, when he learned about reaching the same spiritual goal via Karezza & Tantra. He decided to try Karezza instead.

Even though his personal goal was spiritual, Dr. Bass soon discovered that women loved Karezza, and couldn’t get enough. When he started teaching the improved Energy-Karezza method to couples with marital problems, the results were astounding. Usually, within weeks, the couple had fallen in love again. Problematic marriages healed, becoming more and more harmonious and stronger with time.

Over time, over 50+ years, he not only gained experience concerning every aspect of Karezza/Tantra, but also – thanks to his energy-understanding, being an orthopathic doctor – developed an improved, more powerful & easy-to-learn, version. Traditional “Karezza/Tantra” can be difficult for men, but “Energy-Karezza/Tantra” is easy, and also gives more pleasure & prolongation..

INTRODUCING OTHERS TO KAREZZA

Karezza is about one thing, the man has to control himself. It is so easy. I got so good at this control that I soon was able to go almost a whole year with no accidents. With very heavy sex - three times a week, four hours each session. It didn't take long to get to a high level of proficiency.

In a few months I was very good at it already.

It is very simple, it is natural. It is not difficult. Prove it for yourself, don't take my word for it. Try it out. The first time I heard about it, it was strange to me, so I tried it. It didn't take me long to get good at it. It was easier than I thought. In fact, I taught Karezza to a lot of friends, and everyone had success.

If one of them asked me, "how do I know if it will work?", I gave him a simple method of trying it. I usually said, "why don't you first try:

1. Don't have an orgasm quickly, but wait until the woman is finished, until she has had her enjoyment. Practice holding back for half an hour, for an hour, for several hours, if you can.

2. Then you'll see that your own orgasms are better; they are more enjoyable.

3. Also try having an orgasm only every other time you have sex.

Skipping one time. Every other time, try without orgasm. See how you feel."

With my sex students, those were my instructions, to begin with. These instructions summarize basic traditional Karezza. But these simple instructions could still be difficult for some men. They lost control (ejaculated) early, and were never able to do Karezza for a full hour.

Therefore, to make it easier, I gave my students some Energy-Karezza secrets. I asked them to improve their diet, and to avoid alcohol and all drugs. I told them not to eat before sex, because a man can not control himself after he has eaten. Why? Because then too much blood goes to the stomach.

Also, I gave very detailed instructions on the best movements in sex. I told them to move slowly, and explained how to move, so they wouldn't get too excited, e.g. sideways, in semicircles, avoiding the in-out moves.

For the premature ejaculators, I told them to give up salt, and to not use anything spicy hot, avoid hot peppers, stay away from spices, because this throws them out of control. And then I told them to use certain motions, slow motions, that makes it easy to control oneself. That's all.

Then the women will get the pleasure, because the men are controlling themselves.

For some men the pleasure was so overwhelming that they were still unable to control themselves very long, more than perhaps 45 minutes, even if their diet was good and they had high vitality. In these cases I think the solution is just doing it over and over. Sometimes men, just like women, may need saturation with lots of high-pleasure peak orgasms, before they can start with serious self-control and higher-pleasure valley orgasms. It may take months, but in the end they will get there.

I myself was never overly concerned with the clitoris or the G-spot, because the Karezza was so enjoyable and I was so good at it that a woman couldn't hold out long. If they wanted to have an orgasm, they could have it quick. Women enjoyed it.

The women were very happy. After beginning Karezza, it became unnecessary to calculate all this stuff. I never had to actually figure it out.

All I did was to function naturally, the way I felt like, without thinking about it. And it was right, for every woman. If one gets too mechanical about it, one becomes a dud. Then it is not real. Real sex has nothing to do with the brain, it has to do with feelings, true feelings and movement.

That's all. The brain is not needed.

From page 45 the Technique to Paradise.

🍎🐍🏖️

YAB YUM

What are you experiencing?

~ by yab yum

Be patient. At first you can't experience the orgasmic part of this process. Some get it on their first try and for some it can take years. Keep practicing with the exercise your teacher gives you. Even if you don't experience the orgasm, just the breath and energy circling alone is of great value. It will clear blocks so that eventually the orgasm can pass through you. Blocks can be experienced in many ways – crying, gagging, getting frustrated, resurfacing old memories. Just keep breathing. Visualize letting go of the "old" on the exhale, ringing out the "new" on the inhale. Energy levels will most likely rise and fall, like mercury in a thermometer. Tell your partner where it slipped. Your partner will encourage you to tap into your sexual center when energy is slipping. One of the main keys to learning this technique is KNOWING that it is possible.

(When asked if she had an orgasm, Sara responded 🙂

It was uninterrupted, uninterrupted… This was definitely something else, which I have never experienced so fully.

(Sara was then asked if there were any psychological changes.)

Oh yes, sure. From the point of view of spiritual practice it is always full of insight, a kind of insight that comes after, about how I am in ecstasy in my usual state, because it is obvious that the ecstasy is inherent in the body (level), of my being… and also of course this would affect my meditation. I am much more relaxed and receptive physically, emotionally and psychologically when I sit down to meditate…. I don't know what this has to do with anything, but meditation becomes very sexual, very physical, playing with all these hormones. Very often in my meditation there is a stage like deepening where it goes through something like lovemaking in a hormonal sense. I feel the heat and change of energy and so forth, and then it just cools down. That is when deep meditation begins.

It is absolutely blissful in ecstasy because the bliss is something I feel in the body. The ecstasy is something where the body is no longer. Energy goes up. His community. It is love. The transcendent, the energy feeling, transcends even the light that I'm talking about in meditation, and just went into the light.

One tree merges with another tree, the earth merges with the trees, the trees merge with the sky, the sky merges with the unknown...you merge with me, I merge with you...everything merges...differences lost, melting and merging as waves into other waves…an enormous unity vibrating, alive, without limits, without definitions, without distinction…the sage melting into the sinner, the sinner flowing together in the sage…becoming good becoming bad, becoming bad…the night turning into the day, day turning into night… life melts into death, death plunges into life again – then everything has become one.

This has changed my experience with sexuality forever… It has blown up things like this what you have about sex, the good feeling you get from sexual experience or trying to get. It broke that because it was so obviously about submission. It wasn't about me trying to do something. It was about not doing something, but rather receiving or allowing it, rather than doing and creating and making.

This is the most profound healing practice I have ever encountered. It has awakened me to realize that my body is often shut off from the bliss and ecstasy it might be experiencing. Through this practice I have come to learn that emotional pain occurs when orgasmic energy does not flow freely through my body and that there is an infinite flow of orgasmic energy available to me. It has taken me years to gradually release the tension and pain in my body and I still have areas of tension to unblock. The sensations can be different each time depending on my condition, sometimes there is a pulsating vibration and sometimes it feels like some kind of electrical current circulating through my genitals throughout my body. There may be tears of joy. My mind can be perfectly clear and it can seem like everything I feared has been resolved. When a certain area of ​​tension is unblocked and the orgasmic energy circulates, there is always an amazing sense of oneness with the life being awakened.

Mel 40 Auckland

My teacher knew how to touch – and where to make contact – He knew places to touch that I didn't know about – and soon I was on my way to another place in another universe. I was in a trance of breathing and sweat and pleasure that so long and so dead do had gone – that I traveled through light and sound. I never knew that such an experience could be had without actually making love. When I finally climaxed and climaxed and climaxed, I couldn't believe I was having a sexual climax in the presence of someone other than my husband. I felt both excitement and a little embarrassment. Looking back at this moment, I would never have thought that having an orgasm for another man would actually be the "beginning" of this whole journey in Tantra

Emma S 35

Auckland

And this is the joy of Cosmic Spiritual Orgasm, because you disappear for a moment. That moment is very small, but its impact is immense. For a moment you are no longer the ego, you do not think in terms of 'I', for a moment you dissolve into the oneness of the all, you become one with the whole, you pulsate with the whole. You are no longer an individual… you are no longer limited to your body. You have no limitations, for a moment you are unlimited, infinite.

That is the meaning of Cosmic Spiritual Orgasm – that your frozen energy melts, becoming one with this universe, with the trees and the stars, and the woman and the man, and the rocks – for a single moment, of course. But in THAT moment you have a kind of consciousness that is religious, that is sacred, that is one with all things. – OSHO

Unbelievable! Some are very strong and some are wonderfully subtle. In general, the more time you spend building up the energy, the more powerful the sensations. You experience “electricity” throughout your body, hands, feet and lips tingle, and there is a sense of letting go and receiving at the same time. You will feel high, euphoric and light-headed. It feels very different from a clitoral orgasm (but it can happen at the same time as a clitoral orgasm). You see a seed sprout, flowers appear on a tree somewhere, the birds are singing – the whole phenomenon is sexual. It is life manifesting in many ways. When the bird sings, it is a sexual call, an invitation. When the flower attracts butterflies and bees, it is an invitation, because the bees and butterflies bear the seeds of reproduction. Everything seems to be divided into these two polarities. And life is a rhythm between these two opposites. Repulsion and attraction, coming closer and getting far… these are the rhythms.

Z

[terven-queen]

Any other witches on here interested in cursing some men with me? Men who deserve it: abusers and such. Let’s curse the famous ones like J*hnny D*pp but also the ones that have personally caused hell in our lives. We are stronger as a group. Let’s make them all fucking pay.

[floatingbook]

Because the basic human form is female. Maleness is... a kind of birth defect.

Stella Gibson, played by Gillian Anderson, answering the assistant chief constable’s question “Why are women emotionally and spiritually so much stronger than men?” in The Fall (season 2, ep. 3).

[infj-misc]

INFJ: You are Special

First, fear not. You are not weird or strange. This is what they tell you because they have not met someone like you. You are unique and there are very few people like you. More times than once I have had people tell me they have never met someone like me. More times than once I brought a room to a standstill with my perception and wisdom. For that is what your insight really is. It is a mechanism that you will use to gain excessive wisdom as time goes by.

Second, don’t be afraid to call the shots as you see them. You are almost always right. Your gut instinct and your intuition are strong. You have the ability to see things others can’t. If most people can see 2 steps into the future you can see 5. You know what people will say or do before they say or do it. You sense others’ emotions and immediately know what they think. Use this to stay ahead of others. Use this to know when you are being conned.

Third, let your values rule you, don’t try to conquer or change them. It will cause you distress. They will also guide you to the place you need to be if you can control your romantic side. Most people adopt the value system of the society they live in. You, however, are born with an internal value system that responds to your situation. It is why you can easily break laws and have no guilt, but suffer extreme guilt when you betray your value system. However, be wary of your romantic side. Your idealism can make you stray from reality and this can lead you to make decisions that are not rational. Understand this is not a perfect world and you will not change that.

Fourth, become a teacher or a psychologist or a career not at a desk where you can help others. You love helping people. Your compassion and empathy results from your ability to know what people think and go through. You have the uncanny ability to switch places with anyone and feel their suffering. In turn, you become angered when the meek, kind, and honest are defeated. This will cause you to go war, when most of the time your strong negotiating skills bring peace. Learn to control this side. Use your spiritual side to balance the rage and know that these suffering people are just fulfilling their karma. But still help them. You will find no satisfaction in a corporate career. Status means little to you, it is your value system you need. Your keen perception tells you that status stems from the insecurity people have about themselves and how they need to prove themselves to others. As such, you rid yourself of this foolish desire for status and because you answer to no one but your value system. You want the experience, the truth, the realism. What others think of you starts to mean little as you grow older.

Fifth, when dating, try to find someone as strong as or stronger than you. Someone extroverted who can ease you in to a situation, but someone you can trust. Someone who also has the ability to make money. This is important to you although you may not know it yet. You are attracted to this not for materialistic concerns but because it shows they can stand on their own two feet and are strong people. In addition, they will be able to counter your strong personality and bring harmony, which is what brings you pleasure. You will back down to them in an admiringly way. For men, you are likely to be impressed by a female executive, a college professor, someone that helps the down trodden in her spare time. One who can engage in deep conversation because your knowledge on issues is vast. Few people understand the power of your mind, insight, compassion, and loyalty. Women will be impressed by your emotionality when they get through to you. They will enjoy how you avoid machismo for deeper conversation and they will be delighted to experience the full range of emotions you can provide. Likely, you will talk to your significant other about the beauty of Paris as the men in the next room rally behind the local football game. They will be stunned at your sincerity and honesty. And it takes time for them to get inside you. When they do, and you let them in, these people are guarded for life. They will have access to some of the deepest and most stimulating conversations of their lives. The void of their own insecurity will be filled with you and your ability to understand them. And make sure to let them in. Don’t block for too long, this will drive them away. To do this say what you are thinking. You have the ability to disappear in thought. Bring that thought to the front and speak it.

Lastly, in terms of spirituality, you probably know by now organized religion does little for you. But deep down you sense there is something else going on. Pursue this. Don’t fear this; your intuition will protect you from con men and hacks. But you will be surprised to know that you do in fact have a spiritual side. Just build your own path.

[tellurian-in-aristasia]

Cultural Qualities of Blondes and Brunettes

From the introduction to The District Governess by Miss Regina Snow, 1996:

Aristasian brunettes are about as feminine as a normal human woman - that is to say, about twice as feminine as a human woman in the last quarter of the 20th century. Aristasian blondes, on the other hand, are ultra-feminine.

On the question of blondes and brunettes, it should be understood that, as with men and women, the two sexes are mentally, physically, emotionally and psychologically different. And, as with men and women, the differences are greater rather than less than they superficially appear to be. Brunettes are very much stronger physically than blondes (the difference is rather more marked than that between men and women). They are in many respects more practical and more "steady". The emotions of a blonde are a surging torrent, her perspective often quite unworldly.

To say, however, that brunettes are the "dominant sex" is a considerable oversimplification. Blondes are regarded with the highest respect, and are often considered to be the custodians of a higher wisdom. They are often Princesses and sovereign rulers of nations and principalities; they are often priestesses and philosophers (philosophy in Aristasia being far from a dry academic discipline). In the practical affairs of life they usually (but not always) take second place - but practicalities, utilitarian matters, work, money and material are not nearly so highly regarded in Aristasia as they have long been in your world. In many ways brunettes can be regarded as the more useful but less important sex. If this last statement is a shade unfair, it is certainly no less incorrect than the assumption that blondes are the "inferior sex" - it is probably on the side of blonde rather than brunette superiority that Aristasia is prone to err.

Nevertheless a blonde will tend to be submissive to her own brunette, and perhaps submissive in general. In Aristasia submission is considered a spiritual quality. At the same time Brunettes will pay respect to blondes, standing, for example, when one enters a room. There is a delicate and charming interplay of respect and submission between the two sexes.

It is partly because of their sacredness that blondes are treated more strictly than brunettes under many circumstances (though as with many generalisations one may make about Aristasia there is also a converse side: a brunette may often receive severer punishment as the party who ought to have been more responsible. Much can be forgiven blonde frailty and the highly emotional nature of blonde psychology). The idea that frequent chastening is a necessary part of the upbringing of a blonde and helps her to develop gentleness, purity and a delicate ætherial sensibility is widely held.

Those unfamiliar with the Aristasian mind might fancy that they detect here a trace of the dogma of "social conditioning" so dear to the doctrinaire masculinists of your post-Eclipse. The dogma, that is, that there are no real mental or psychological differences between the sexes (women being but men in differently-shaped bodies) and that everything we know by the name of femininity is only "social conditioning" forced upon women by men. It is a curious dogma, especially in view of the fact that the copious scientific research conducted in recent years in your world shows incontestably that the mental and psychological differences between men and women are inborn, ineradicable and if anything more wide-ranging than even the Victorians imagined. However, your post-Eclipse world never allows scientific facts to interfere with its official social mythologies.

The truth is that femininity is a natural and vitally important aspect of human existence which has been undervalued and undermined in your world for millennia, and the ultimate consummation of this process is the extirpation of femininity from its last refuge: the heart of woman herself - a process which is only possible because woman has been tricked by the subtly twisted arguments of a false "feminism" into collaborating with her own de-feminisation.

Since Aristasia knows nothing of these matters, it goes without saying for an Aristasian that the upbringing of a blonde - however it may vary in different places—is not a question of inculcating an artificial consciousness, but of coöperating with nature, of developing her inborn sensibility, of creating a perfect blondeness; an image of the Archetype of femininity; a marriage of nature and art.

Source

[stuff-i-got-in-therapy]

Naming the Effects of What He Does

Being involved with a destructive partner can take more of a toll on you than you realize. Especially when you are still living with him, it’s hard to observe what’s happening to you.

People on the outside may have noticed. Someone who cares about you may have said, “I’m concerned about you-you don’t seem like yourself to me.” And if they have, you’ve probably brushed them off, responding, “Oh, I’m doing fine.” But are you?

Ask yourself these questions: Emotionally- Am I angry or upset about him a lot of the time? Am I tense and worried about how he’s doing, or how he’s going to react to things? Physically- Am I as healthy as I was when I met him? Is the stress showing up in my body in any way (aches and pains, weight gain, weight loss, lack of energy)? How am I sleeping? Life Direction- Have I let my dreams and ambitions slip into the background since I’ve been with him? Does he discourage me from pursuing my own goals, or try to change them into ones that he thinks would be better? Spiritually- Have I lost my connection to my deep beliefs? Am I reluctant to share my real beliefs with him? Socially- Am I struggling in my connections with friends? Have I distanced myself from my relatives (perhaps because he said they aren’t good for me? Does he make excuses not to see people, or to keep me from seeing them? Sexually- Am I feeling attractive? Are my sexual needs being attended to? Is he making me feel bad sexually?

A relationship is supposed to make you feel good. It should make you stronger and more energetic, and help propel you towards your goals. Is your relationship doing the opposite? Do some writing in your journal  in response to this question, striving to answer honestly.

“I need to look directly at what’s going on and not convince myself that it’s okay.”

-Lundy Bancroft, “Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That? | Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men”

[riverrunscold]

I saw your tags, please info dump to me about your ocs, I wanna hear all about them!! 😊

Sorry I'm late getting to this ask! But I'm so ready to info dump!

Sorry if some of this is worded weird, I took it directly from my character notes which at the moment are doubling as my story developing notes.

Brief story description (so far):

A murder mystery story with the main characters, Rosemary Josephine Wynn, a skeptical detective and Cromwell, a trans spiritualist who is also a dumbass and excitable.

It's the 1920s, these two are working out of a small building that they rented out together, they have been friends since Rose first met Cromwell during an investigation. She loved ribbing him about ghosts not being real and enjoyed how flustered the man got. Though she also disagrees with the business he runs and once thought he was scamming people until she realized he actually believes the shit he sells.

Now, onto the characters!:

Rosemary- Rosemary is a black woman who dresses pretty similar to what women would in the 20s but would include more masculine outfits from time to time when she's conducting detective business. She found people took her more seriously that way but during the story maybe she stops wearing the masculine garb altogether when she realizes that she wants to be able to be herself and still be taken seriously. She also starts styling her hair in more ways, instead of trying as best she can to straighten it every morning or hide it under a hat. She also tends to have a more masculine bravado which she developed over the course of her career, influenced by her three brothers also. She has muscular arms and could beat you up in her favorite pair of heels if she wanted to. Her celtic zodiac animal is the Snake (something Cromwell references often). She's strong, strong-willed and strong-headed. Not at all spiritual, focuses on objective facts more often than not. Makes it a bit hard for her and Cromwell to get along at first. Rosemary is very in her own head and anxious but very silent about it, having experienced a lot of mental and physical abuse from her mother growing up. Her mother raised her as a work machine since she was young, never really stopping to teach her lessons about emotions and sometimes actively punishing her when she displayed them. She was less strict on her brothers, Rosemary thinks it's because she was her least favorite but her mom knew how hard it was for black women to get ahead in life so she made sure she focused on her studies and being good at multiple things (though it does not at all excuse her behavior). Therefore Rosemary ends up emotionally stunted later in life, not opening up often out of subconscious or conscious fear of repercussions. Throughout the story, Cromwell, being the outgoing nonjudgmental guy he is tries to help her open up and ends up being able to do that throughout the course of the story. This could possibly all crescendo into a point in the story where Rosemary shows her affection towards Cromwell through actions, not being great with emotional words or sometimes words in general. Maybe she puts herself in-between Cromwell and someone wishing to do him harm, being the stronger of the two and not wanting him to get hurt. This could possibly be at the expense of her own well-being. This could be a big turning point, Rosemary outwardly showing affection towards someone for the first time in possibly her whole life aside from her brothers. Rosemary suffers with PTSD, a result from her household abuse. She also has a hard time actually getting into relationships, watching her parents own degrade when she was younger. She's also terrified of being left by someone she lets herself get attached to, which is what happened with her dad. Since she has PTSD it often shapes the way she thinks or reacts, which will be incorporated into the story during her perspective chapters.

Cromwell-

Cromwell is actually his last name but he uses it instead of his dead name, one of his teacher's having called him by his last name once making him realize how much he loved not being referred to as his first or as Ms Cromwell. He's not out to anybody, just keeps connected to underground trans channels who also happen to frequent speakeasys around town. He's also Scottish, Cromwell being a Scottish name. He has red hair and freckles all over but his eyes are two different colors, it's almost not noticable. One's blue and one's green. He's a dumbass but I love him. Most people have a hard time understanding what he says because of his accent, a lot of people roll their eyes at him when they hear him speak. He doesn't speak much though because of the uncomfortableness he feels about his voice being too feminine for his liking. The only person he talks to with regularity is Rose but that's only because she basically forces him into arguments about ghosts. Don't worry though, they're all good natured on Rose's part, Cromwell's just dramatic. He also wears very worn clothing, a trench coat and white button up that were both too big for him. He also wore slacks with holes that were caused by moths and, so he claims to Rose's upset, spirits (He's mostly joking when he says it. Mostly).

Him believing in ghosts so much may also have to do with him wanting to be able to contact his sister who had passed away years ago but not even Rose knows about that until later on. His sister was really the only support he had in his family. Cromwell also taught himself how to sew, helped by his mother teaching him when he was younger, so he could create his own binders and give them to other trans men he knows. His celtic zodiac is the Fox, having been born March 31st 1899, making him 21. He's very spiritual and emotional, but very extroverted and wants to know others. He's also a tad flirtatious. He helps Rosemary get more in touch with her feelings or at least tries to. He started with giving her complements but that quickly turned out to not be at all effective, she tended to react to them with sarcasm or annoyance. Cromwell has ADHD. His symptoms also show through when the book shifts to his perspective.

Some thing I didn't mention, they are probably one of my favorite ship dynamics, the skeptic and believer, introvert and extrovert, opposites attract. I love that shit. Also slight rivals to friends to lovers babyy!

This also might be slightly based on Mulder and Scully but shut up xD

[onceuponawildflower]

How has your sexuality affected your religiousness? I know when I first starting following you years ago you were very involved in the church. Please feel free to ignore this question if it is uncomfortable/too personal/whatever. I just know many people who are afraid to truly be themselves because of the judgement that typically comes from their church families (among others I’m sure)

no it’s okay i don’t mind answering.

a few years back, back when i was v involved in the church, i also got v involved in nonviolent protesting and political activism (circa the noDAPL movement, Bernie, the big swing into immigration rights we’ve recently seen, the Syrian genocide, and the rise of Trump, etc). the more i got involved in those things, the more i became alienated by the church. i was asked to be part of worship less and less, some people distanced themselves from me. 

it eventually got to a point where i talked to the pastors multiple times, asking them what we were going to be doing to take a stance on human injustices. they told me that, i kid you not, ‘what you’re doing on the left end is as extreme as the far-right wing.’ they told me they wanted to stay centrist and not take a stand. in my last encounter with them they told me that they loved me as a sister, but they wouldn’t ever talk about the issues i was passionate about bc it would ‘go over peoples’ heads’. i left before the service that day and almost immediately after, i was excommunicated. like i lost my entire friend group and church family, i was taken off of worship, my pastor left one inflammatory comment on something i posted on fb and then blocked me. it was a whole to-do which really hurt. but also made me livid. but also i was exhausted, having tried so hard to encourage people to care for others as their religion had always encouraged and kept being met with comfortable apathy…

so while i was kicked out of that church and that was a whole lot to deal with on all facets of my mind, body, and soul, i also see it to be a blessing bc it opened up this whole new world for me, one that i never even gave myself an option to believe previously. i explored all the facets of spirituality and mysticism that i knew very little about other than the christian church saying they were sinful and demonic (purely bc they weren’t protestantism). i also began to explore sexuality beyond the purity garbage force fed to christians. and that’s where it probably started.

once i realized it was okay to dismantle the crippling system imposed upon people, mostly womxn but also men, that told them that sexual purity was of utmost importance but the same system that never provided any sort of guidance through anything sexual, ever, i started to heal my own wounds of trauma and naivety and began to love myself. like my whole self. not just as a physical being but as a spiritual vessel and goddess soul resting in flesh. 

i still have a long way to go and christianity really does fuck you up with ego and self-doubt and guilt and perfectionism, but it can be healed. i started listening to jamie lee finch and reading more about spiritual mysticism. i got into tarot and witchcraft and i know a lot of christians out there are probably rolling their eyes or laughing at me rn when they read this, but there is SO MUCH knowledge and wisdom around us in the natural world, much more than a book written by a bunch of men thousands of years ago. women hold so much power and goodness and wisdom and divinity, but christianity has all but wiped them out and done all it can to invalidate and eradicate the feminine divine. 

that feminine divine however, is what gives me life. it fuels me. it reminds me of my agency. it reminds me of my power. 

while all of this awakening was happening spiritually, so was my sexual awakening. it came in little nudges, like i would see womxn and want to cuddle them or hold them or kiss them or have what i thought was platonic relationships (nonsexual, intellectual, emotional lifelong partnerships). it scared me at first. a lot. i actually remember actively denying it. but also kept asking my queer friends about this sensation. i didn’t want to be pan at first or anything not straight. i actively opposed it bc i couldn’t imagine having to go through that transition with my family or my own self. i have been pretty emotionally exhausted for years now, and i didn’t think i could take that on too. while i was lgbtq+ friendly and an ally, it can be a totally different experience when you realize you’ve been suppressing something deep deep down unconsciously for decades. it’s really hard to explain really, and it’s still relatively new to me so bare with me here, i’m still feeling it out. 

the more i ignored it however, the stronger it came on. at one point i surrendered to it. i couldn’t help but just embrace it bc otherwise i was lying to myself. i allowed myself to be open and honest with myself and that was terrifying, but also very liberating, just getting it out there and allowing my sexuality to exist in the same space as me. i tried to figure out what exactly i was feeling and if i could categorize this to help create some clarity (virgo here). what resonated most with me was pansexuality. it wasn’t like i was attracted to men and women and that was my marker. it was more like i was drawn to someone’s energy before i even considered their sexuality/gender. someone’s emotional presence and aura drew me in and everything else came second. it didn’t matter to me if they were mxn or womxn or something more fluid and in between. i just was there for the energy. 

so i’ve been ‘out’ to my friends for a few months now, but i don’t think i’ll ever tell my parents, at least, i don’t think i will. i just know them and while they love people they love them through that christian lens. i’m very jaded still and forgive me for that, i will definitely need to go to therapy once i get insurance to help move beyond this. they still have a lot of resistance with lgbtq people, and that makes me really sad. i can’t imagine even nodding to the subject bc i know that we’re not going to meet in the middle. both of their kids are really liberal and not christian despite their best efforts, and they have become slightly less conservative since i was young, but now they’re just where that church i was kicked out of was, right in the middle, unbudgingly. 

i suppose it works out for us now, since i am openly pansexual/queer and my partner is a heteronormative male (though not entirely cisgendered and he’s comfortable being whomever he wants to be and i love that about him). from the outside, we look like a heteronormative couple, which is cool and convenient for my family. honestly, since i left christianity, i’ve had a different relationship with my parents, and i miss how close we were. but i know it’s not going to change bc i have 0 desire to return to that religion and they have 0 desire to explore anything outside of it. what relationship we do have now is nice, in its own scope. i just wish i could be real and honest and open and deep with them and that they would go there with me. but that’s okay… i have friends who can meet me there and a supportive and open partner and so this is really the best it can get for me realistically. i am v grateful for the people i have in my life. 

i don’t stay in touch with literally anyone from that church. no one talks to me anymore. they’ve all cut me out and as they know they can’t pull me back in they’ve exited altogether. that’s the christian agenda though, no? it’s all about bringing people in (at its best). just like door to door sales, if they know they don’t have a chance of making that sale, they’ll stop wasting their time and move on. bigger fish to fry. it hurts that i was only a (black) sheep in their flock, but at the same time, i have grown so much since i realized i could think for myself and be okay and not crippled by lack of a deity. i have no desire to return, and if those people couldn’t accept me then, they sure as hell won’t accept me now. but i don’t want that sort of energy in my life. i want authenticity. i want realness. i want vulnerability and openness and unconditional love. if you’re not willing to bring that, then i don’t really want to invest in you. simple as that.

now i’m not saying the way things went down for me are how it should be for anyone else, but i do encourage you and anyone else out there to feel your feelings. don’t be afraid of them. walk into those murky waters, if even with trepidation and wariness, at least move forward. bc otherwise you’re stagnating and stagnant water is dangerous (and smelly). foster a community of those who want to join you in your journey, who love you without any agenda. it is hard and can be incredibly painful but i do believe it’s worth it to live a life true to yourself rather than lie to ourself to appease the comfort zones of others.

that’s all i got.