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#woah kinda got carried away there
thelocalweird · 4 months
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What it feels like being a fan of Beast Wars
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waywardsalt · 2 months
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tag rant but man i fuckin hate the new direction for loz
#its like. this is more on like. why is it bad that theres a zelda formula. why is it bad that all of the games follow this formula#that’s their identity??? like pokemon games and fire emblem games all have their own formulas so to say#and so thats their identity thats what you expect going in thats their niche their gameplay experience identity#and i just. really fucking hate how loz seems to be going the route of just. throwing shit at the wall and trying everything else#and nothing sticks so the more recent ones just feel like open world slop that dont excel at anything#so fuck this im going to play elden ring with a double jumping horse and great and challenging combat. i’ll play minecraft#yknow? and i dont understand why loz games feeling ‘similar’ is so fucking bad like???? every game series’ entries feel similar thats the#point yknow. if they suddenly made a fire emblem that was an fps for no reason other than to break convention and break away feom the#formula then what the fuck thats not even fire emblem any more. like. idk. i kinda just despise the newer stuff bc its so. middle of the#road whatever and has just about nothing i actually like and look for in the series. they dont have that niche identity any more#its a shift that just makes them like part of the open world white noise every aspect is honed down and done better in other games#its not like the formula causes every loz game to be really predictable or blend together fuck no#theyre still each very unique from each other even if they follow the same guidelines thats the fun???#like woah i wonder how the dungeons will differ what the new story and characters will be what new items#fucking hell boo hoo this game series’ games are similar to each other. almost as if they share the same central identity#absolutely just letting off steam and frustration here i hate when ppl treat the formula as a bad thing when it’s like. what makes them loz#like fuck its not like theyre exactly the same like i said theres a great deal of variety in what each one offers no need to just chuck it#all thats the kind of shit i come to loz for. i go to fire emblem for the specific leveling up strategy gameplay i go to pokemon for the#creature battling and specific world feel botw/totk just. do not carry with them the same signifiers of loz and they dont really have#identities beyond go do whatever the fuck which is not very compelling??? like can we at least commit to something here?#im yelling at shadows here im just. fuckin tired and feeling pessimistic abt this future of this game series whose core gameplay is one of#my all time favorites i really like the tightly designed linear-with-freedom dungeons and puzzles and world and all that#like the aesthetics changing is great and its fun to see different takes and tones on it but that core sense of things is like. The Point#of choosing to play loz yknow what i mean. like just bc its got ‘legend of zelda’ slapped on it doesnt gonna mean im gonna want to play a#vastly different experience if that makes sense. thats not the precedent thats not what you like. expect and associate with this#i feel like i sound like some entitled fuck abt this but like. is that tried and true style just going to be trashed in favor of this#honestly kinda bland everyman-ass style just bc it started to seem like it was getting stale. fuck this im gonna see what tunic’s about#likely delete later this was just a vent. ‘the zelda formula is a bad thing-‘ are you fucking serious rn#like hesitantly hopeful abt eow bc someone i know is excited for it so ill def play it but just. man
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celibibratty · 1 year
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Don't you have afraid of the healing, get healead to a point where you will you stop caring, this is what you always wanted and prayed for, but if this is leading you to the End?
#One of these days i checked this ao3😒 and this fuckin t0p d4niel fanfic that traumatized me had an update...and i didn't felt nothing#Of course i still not dare to look at it but geez i remember that Both 2020 and 2021 when i passed by this shit/when appeared/had updates..#My body used to tremble so fast i used to cry of stress/anger but this year i didn't got afraid i felt nothing#Maybe because i kinda used to it now i not that naive anymore i don't get surprised#Still if i getting so healed to a point where i will stop caring about this game?#If i growing out of it?💧#Tsc this is lie i still do get very affected i still get carried away by those things sometimes (proving that i still care about them)#Like woah i/we liked this game when we had 14/15 years and this year i'll do 20 years (if i'm getting tired? Cuz i kinda growing💧)#No! i like to think this is actually a good sign that i starting to have a more health/balanced relationship with this game#To a point where i don't take those shitty versions of them💢🔥 that seriously#reflection#I don't feel that conected to this game these days please please Just be a phase please Just be a phase💧#I know whenever i still believe it i will still keep it but i can't control it i can't control it the emptiness#Idk playing the games makes me realize like ;woah its so good to consume the thing that you enjoy but not stressing about it;#I like s1fu w0man and i/we playing the game but i don't feel sick or intimidated playing it cuz i know i won't find something that triggers#I know the game is kinda okay and our protagonist are DECENT💢🔥different from this game imagine me playing it urgh...#I get so anxious i have afraid of find out something i won't like it (triggers) or i wish i couldn't know#Like it's so different so different that it hurts notice it#And i can comfirm it ;playing-it-it's-different-than-seen-it; play it's a different experience you notice more things#I can't i never want to play this game in my life i don't want to find out what i will feel i don't want to revive everything over again#Please brain be just a phase
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satoruhour · 1 year
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if you haven’t done it yet! aftercare with gojo?
a/n: oh i just HAD to write this thank u for the prompt mirah <3
warnings: unprotected sex, creampie / breeding kink but it’s described as briefly as possible
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he used to think aftercare was sort of boring? i feel it’s because he never really found the right person so he usually does the bare minimum, cleaning his partner up, getting them water and making them feel comfortable
but he always felt empty inside after they fall asleep, always keeping his distance no matter what
that was until he got together with you and he feels like he’s been missing out on so much
i have a headcanon he’s so unused to affection that his partner will be the one to introduce aftercare to him
like foreplay, aftercare can anything you want it to be!
and he laughs at your comment, fingers shaking from how much he liked you when you sink into his side with the tv droning on at the back
gojo loves all forms of aftercare but i feel he would love a few minutes of cuddling and skin to skin contact before you actually clean up
always has a packet of wet tissues on the bedside table and a glass of sweet sweet tea
it’s kinda gross bc of how sweet it is and if you have a sweet tooth too then good for you
but otherwise it’s insanely sweet, and he uses his cursed energy to heat up the tea!!! waow
but if you dont want hot tea then u gotta drink lukewarm tea sorry
he always carries you. dont try to fight him but he loves to take care of you after sex. loves to wash ur hair and body and you’ll do it back to him :)
sometimes it escalates to another round but most times he likes the two of you in the quietness of the bathroom and just the swooshes of the water
he doesn’t prefer the bathtub or shower more but he’ll pick what you like and go along with it
if you still have energy he likes to watch random youtube videos like cat memes or funny videos (the ones he picks are not exactly funny however…)
you two rarely watch movies bc they’re really long but if you do you’re usually the one to fall asleep bc gojo is naturally replenishing himself with his technique. and also he likes to watch you sleep
creep
he takes photos of you when you’re asleep in his arms and he shows it to you the next day but one day youre suggesting to him that maybe he can fall asleep first
and when he stops his CT it’s like … woah. he falls asleep so soundly in your arms that it’s adorable and now he’s more open to being tucked under your arms to succumb to sleep first
that time also allows you to say your confessions softly and to admire him without any teasing
this time is very soft and delicate and intimate and satoru thinks it’s his favourite, but then again every moment with you is a blessing ♡
the air is thick and musky with sex, skin laced with tear stains while gojo continues to rock into you long after you’ve cummed, moans and pants leaving your mouth with whispers of satoru’s name. the kisses he litters there makes your skin tingle before he’s releasing in you, and it’s thick, filling you up while his lips meet yours passionately, muttering confessions with a smile.
“baby…” gojo pokes your cheek, your expression close to pure bliss from the orgasm that he’s a little worried but he knows you’re being dramatic. it’s something you picked up from him. “you okay?”
your eyes crack open a bit as your hands make their way to his cheeks, feeling the fat of his cheeks fill up your hands when he smiles. with a free hand, his hand engulfs yours, planting a kiss to it and the smile-turned-grin he gives you is blinding before he decides it’s been too long that he’s kissed you.
slipping out of you, he pulls you closer with an arm while the other brushes the sweat-filled hair from your forehead, lips capturing yours softly. you move together, languid and slow and satoru cannot stop smiling as he pulls away, drunk on you.
“let’s get you clean, hm?” gojo plants one more peck on you after twenty minutes; twenty minutes of talking in whispers and kissing (satoru’s doing). he waits for your outstretched arms, hooking his own under your neck and knees just as you plead for him to carry you. “such a big baby.”
you giggle, mumbling a soft yeah before pecking his cheek, holding his stare so full of ardent love that your heart feels like it might actually stop — it almost does when you feel the cold water from the shower head hit your back and you jump with a yelp.
satoru laughs, “my bad, heater wasn’t on.”
“bastard.”
“you certainly don’t think i’m one by how much you were screaming my name just n—”
you groan as his giggles only increase in volume, swooping you up easily before it falls silent and it’s only the sound of the shower filling your ears.
soon, the night is calm, something that isn’t the case usually with gojo, but you’ve casted such a deep spell on the strongest — the weakest when with you — that all he can do is watch your content face and humming voice with a silent love, fingers gliding through his white locks with shampoo and suds.
recently, satoru finds that he’s starting to smell more and more like you.
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i have chronic loving-gojo-satoru-like-an-clinically-insane-person disease
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wettvagina · 9 months
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STICKY ICKY
desc: ohmygod! eren yeager, the college jock everyone wants to fuck, got his dick leaked all over campus. with his dickpic in every girl's phone, what happens when you finally get to see it.. warnings: p in v , creampie , blowjob , hottub sex a/n: dont do this irl guys, you will get an sti!
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The bottom of your sandals clicked as you walked through the hallway of your apartment, the crisp air smelled like baby powder and cold donuts, the air conditioning system pumped frigid wind onto your face, causing a shiver to go down your spine, your face scrunched as you hurried to find your keycard, almost excited to get to your comfy queen sized bed, located in your cozy, homely room.
You saw the card scanner emit a green flash of light, indicating that the door was unlocked, with a flip of your wrist you unlocked the door, hearing everyone's voices in full volume. "No way! Is this what....the second time?" Sasha snorted, "No, this is the first time." Mikasa retorted in her usual calm voice, a slight smirk on her face as she conversed amongst the group of Ymir, Historia and Sasha.
The four of them sat on the floor of your living room, the pink, fuzzy carpet under your coffee table provided an area for Sasha to lay down as she snacked on some gummy worms in her hand, "Oh you're home, come look at this." Ymir's voice rang, your brows furrowed and you briskly deserted your belongings onto the couch before looking at what was displayed on Ymir's phone.
"WOAH!" your eyes widened as your friends snickered, "Thoughts?" Sasha chirped, "First of all, why is it so big?" you announce, "And veiny and pink." you went on, "Guess who?" Sasha snorted once again, "Wait that's real, no way, I thought that shit was AI generated or something the way how big it is." you mention as you crossed your legs to sit on the floor.
"Oh, yeah, it does look kinda fake cuz' it's zoomed up." Ymir mentions before taking her thumb and index finger to pinch at her screen, showing you the original picture, "No way! Is that?" you shouted, "Uh huh." Ymir nodded, you looked at Ymir's phone with wide eyes and a slightly heated face.
The erotic picture on Ymir's phone showed the school's thotty hottie, Eren Yeager, shirtless, grey sweatpants slightly pullled down exposing his hard cock, his phone was in his hands, half-way blocking his face but everyone knew it was him. His tense abs glazed with sweat and his dick was just panty wetting.
"No way." you iterated, in complete disbelief, feeling a sense of loss as Ymir pulled her phone away, "I mean, definitely not surprised." Historia chimed in, "He is him, after all." Mikasa sighed, "A manwhore." Sasha snarled while chewing, "Wonder who leaked it though." you say chewing on your nail.
"Hm, I say it probably got surface from his hidden Twitter account or something." Ymir suggested playfully, "Or OnlyFans." Sasha teased, "I wouldn't doubt it." Historia shrugged, "His fans are definitely getting off to that." Ymir taunted, "I know I am." you say, half heartedly. "Gross." Historia giggled, "What? I mean did you see that thing, it's like a uterus pounder." you sneered.
"That is nasty, but you're right though." Sasha agreed, "I dunno' how I'm gonna look at him the same." Mikasa shook her head, causing everyone to giggle. "Can I see that again?" you questioned, making Ymir turn on her phone, pointing the screen at you to which you grabbed, examining the entire picture oncemore.
"Hm, yeah I think I wanna fuck him now." you admit, "C'mon, have some respect for yourself." Historia joked, "No like seriously, he's carrying a third leg." you say straightforwardly. "Well I mean, if you wanna take a ride on that horse, go for it. Eren is pretty easy." Ymir states, "Yeah, wear a condom though, you wouldn't want to get any...disease." Sasha encouraged, "You know there is that party tonight." Historia mentions, "Well, it's confirmed, I'm fucking him tonight." you declare with heavy emphasis on the word fucking.
"Good luck, girl." Mikasa cheers on.
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It seems the universe had been on your side that night, as Eren was nowhere to be found in Connie's condo party, you looked in every corner, bathroom and bedroom, he was absent. What if he did show out of embarrassment, I mean his dick literally just got leaked everywhere, or wait, did he have a girlfriend? And was he hooking up with her???
You obviously did not think this plan through, leading you to go on a sex-deprived, drunken rant to everyone about how you hadn't had any good sex in three months, leading Jean to pushing you outside Connie's condo, telling you to 'get some air', so you went at the top floor, to actually get some air.
And there you found him, smoking weed near in the hottub. Oh boy it was a scene, he was half naked, those God-carven abs on full display along with his v-line, his hair was free and rested delicately along his shoulders.
Smiling to yourself, you had schemed a profound plan. You threw your dress of your body, thanking yourself for wearing a matching underwear set of a pink push-up bra and matching panties. You composed yourself, barely walking in a straight line as you approached the hot tub which was sectioned off in a small square near the pool.
"Oh, I didn't realize the hot tub was occupied." You say, your glossed lips pursed once you finished talking, "O-Oh. I don't mind." Eren says calmly, taking a final puff of his blunt before discarding it. "Really? Well if you don't mind." you smirk to yourself before getting into the hot tub, the space was small, but wide enough to keep you both at an appropriate distance from eachother as you sat parallel to him, your face facing his as he exhaled the smoke.
"I've seen you before." Eren immediately striked conversation, "Yeah? I've seen you too." you smirk, Eren blushes, seemingly getting at what you were saying, "Right, we have the same major?" he asks, "Hm, what's your major?" you ask, noticing has gaze raking your body. "Huh?" he asks like an idiot, "I said what's your major?" you repeat with a sweet, calm voice, "Oh- Computer Science." he says, "Mines Econ, we probably share some classes though." you mention, "Yeah." he agrees.
"I didn't know you live in this building." Eren admits, "Oh, right." you say awkwardly, it's cuz' you dont, your broke ass lives in the building atleast four blocks away because it was the cheapest option, only rich guys with sport scholarships live here.
"Well, you barely know me, haha." you giggle awkwardly, "Well, wanna change that?" he asks with a smirk. "What are you trying to say?" you question, and in one swift motion his body is near you and his hand is ontop yours. "You know what I'm trying to say." he says, and with that final sentence, he leans in for a much anticipated kiss.
His pink, swollen, warm lips rode against yours, as you felt his hand wrap behind your neck, pulling you in closer as he slides his tongue into your mouth. His body cages yours as your back presses against the wall of the hot tub the warm water surrounded your body seemingly intensified it's tempurature.
His hand lowers to your ass, grabbing at the plump flesh as he presses kisses along your neck, his hand lowers to behind your knee, hooking both hands behind each of your knees as he pulls you up onto him, continuing to kiss onto your neck, you drape your arms around his neck feeling your clit throb against your panties.
Feeling his dick slightly poke against your inner thighs, you feel him pull away. "No- we should stop." he says almost shyly, still holding you up, "Why?" you question immediately, "I don't have a condom." he says while looking down. "Good, I wanted you to fuck me raw anyways." you say eagerly.
He grins before letting you off of him, spinning you around so that your pelvis pressed against the walls of the hot tub, you feel his hand on your ass underwater and his lips come near your ears, "You sure?" he asks, "Mhm." you hum, and feel some water splashing as he takes his dick out, you look back at at, seeing it in the flesh.
Lawd, it was bigger in real life, you couldn't wait for him to just fuck you already, you knew that you probably added some liquid into this hot tub with how wet you were. You continued to watch back as he slipped it in, slowly rocking his hips onto your ass, you arch your back as his huge dick was only half in.
"Shit." you hear him groan, and you push back onto him, his entire dick entered your pussy and you watched as his face contorted to match the pleasure he was feeling, his brows shot up and his eyes glassy. "'m gonna move." you hear him say, your hum in response was turned into a moan that fell off your tongue as he harshly pressed himself against you, grabbing onto your hips as he pounded into your pussy.
The only sounds you heard was his groans and grunts, as well as the sound of his skin slapping onto yours which was muffled by the splashing of water. "Oh shit." you cried out as you felt his fingers dig deeper into your hips, his pace increasing.
"Shit." his breaths were ragged as he watched down to where his dick slid in and out of your welcoming pussy, he slightly smirked at the sight as he leaned his face to the back of your neck, inhaling your scent before kissing onto your skin.
You were a bit surpised since he was fucking you like if you were his wife or something, you barely knew him, but you had no complaints and your thoughts were immediately slammed out of your head when you felt his dick tense inside of you, "Oh-" his words were cut off when you felt your insides get warmer, hearing him pant as he released his warm come inside of you.
"Shit." he groans, pressing himself deeper into you, his pelvis jamming against the curve of your ass as he rides out his high, moaning and groaning into your mouth as you turn your head to look back at him, only for him to kiss you oncemore.
He pulls out of you swiftly and you hear the water splash, "You think you can go for one more." you ask looking back at him, "Sure." he smiles, "Follow me." you say, climbing out of the hot tub, and grabbing onto his hand as you lead him the the changing rooms, you go into the women's changing room with your hand in his.
It was late and the room was empty, you passed through a series of empty toilet stalls to get to the other side of the room which was a changing room with showers, "Sit." you instruct, watching as he sits on the bench in front of you. You get onto your knees between his thighs, pulling at his waistband watching how his cock already erected again.
You didn't hesitate to take his cock into your mouth, sucking on the tip before licking onto the entire shaft, your lips pressed around his tip as you swirled your tongue around the slit, licking at the beads of precome around the swollen tip.
"S-Shit." you hear him groan as your head bobs on his cock, you continue to suck on the tip while stroking the parts of his dick where your mouth wasn't on. You released the tip from the warmth of your mouth to spit on it, taking it back into your mouth oncemore as you try to fit his entire length into your mouth.
His fists clench and his knees were almost shaking, loose strands of his hair hung in front of his face as water droplets ran down his bare chest and down to his chiseled abs. "Fuck." he grunts, hand digging into your hair, you look up at him as he jolts his hips forward into your mouth, making his tip hit the back of your throat.
And within seconds he's coming in your mouth, you feel his hot, white come in your mouth as he groans, thighs shaking as you continued to lick at his tip while he comes in your mouth. "Fuck!" he curses as he rides out his second high, hips stuttering slightly when you rub at his dick while he's still coming.
"I need your number." he says between heavy breaths.
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etherealyoungk · 5 months
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love at first sight | joshua hong
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✩ seventeen as romantic tropes series ✩ masterlist ✩
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PAIRING: joshua x reader
THEMES: love at first sight trope, strangers to lovers
WARNINGS: fluff, rain
WORDCOUNT: 728
A/N: ahh i kinda found this trope hard to write 😭 i tried my best
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you weren't much of a romantic. you'd read about love and the infamous love at first sight countless times, thinking it was overrated, until the day it happened to you.
you're walking, the clouds gloomy and grey, heavy with rain that is ready to burst anytime. you could tell that it was going to rain cats and dogs and groan because you should have known better than to not carry an umbrella especially given how unpredictable the weather and rain had been this past week. you just continue walking to your destination - a job interview, praying it doesn't rain.
but the weather obviously had a mind of it's own and a few minutes later you can feel the drops of rain scatter down, falling on you before it gets heavier. you pick up your walking pace and walk faster, the drizzle getting heavier and heavier until it was straight up a heavy downpour and if you didn't seek shelter now you would get drenched, which is not the ideal way to show up to a job interview.
you run the best you can with your shoes and find a small a small awning in front of a store, making a run for it there, putting your handbag over your head to protect your hair your spent hours styling as you make your way to the awning with a desperate determination.
just as you jog into the awning, you feel someone run beside you, overtaking you and taking a place there but you don't have enough time to stop and you end up bumping right into them. they catch you before you fall.
"woah easy there", a sweet voice tells, his hand holding your arm to support you up as you regain your balance. you look up and see a man in front of you, pretty much in the same state as you, all dressed up and almost drenched.
you look at him and can't help but laugh as you look at him and he looks at you with those pretty eyes and lets out a sweet laugh as well.
"guess we both got caught in the downpour huh", he tells, his voice sweet. "yeah, weather is crazy this week", you fill in, as you catch your breath.
as you continued to look at the man, you couldn't help but feel a attractive to him, and you felt something bloom in your heart, something that made you feel warm and fuzzy. this man was so pretty. you'd never felt something like this before and you feel your heart beat thumping softly.
"i'm joshua", he introduces, giving you a friendly smile. "i'm yn", you tell, still mesmerized by him.
you watch as he ruffles his brown hair's damp and gotten a little wavy from from all the rain, his shirt and shoulders wet but you are in the same boat. but somehow he managed to look so pretty and handsome despite the situation and you find yourself staring at him for a couple of extra seconds before you look away, back at the rain that was pouring down.
"god i hope this rain stops soon, i'm going to be late", you mumble as you look at the rain pour down at a steady pace, with no signs of stopping. you pull your blazer around you closer to shield yourself from the sprinkle of rain that was falling on you because of the harsh wind.
"late for work?", he prompts. "i'm late too", he adds. "i'm actually late for an interview", you tell. "we can't have you being late for a job interview now can we?", he tells and as he scans the area and spots a convenience store on the opposite end of the road. and it's like you can read his mind because you someone knew exactly what he was going to do.
"don't, whatever you're thinking, it's not a good idea", you warn and he only smiles. "i'll be back", he tells before he starts to make a run for it in the downpour, towards the store and your hand reaches out for his in an attempt to stop him but you end up running behind him too and his hand encases yours as you both run across the road in the rain, getting soaked.
as soon as you enter the store, you look at him and burst out laughing because of what you'd just done, and so does he, giving you a sweet smile and laughing along with you, your hand still in his and you could feel the connection you had with this man was instant, something special.
"that was...fun", you tell when you finally catch your breath. "you can feel the spark between you both as you look at him.
"nothing like getting stuck and running in the rain is it?", he asks, with an amused smile. "let's buy you that umbrella so you can get to your interview", he adds, with a small smile, letting go of your hand which now feels empty without his warmth.
you get to your interview just in time, closing the umbrella that the man, joshua had bought. you set aside the umbrella and brush your damp blazer, hoping it would be dry enough but this had to do. that's what you get for running in the rain like a crazy person and you find yourself when you recall back to that moment.
you never got his number but the next week when you get the job, you're surprised, because your team leader was no other than joshua.
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taglist: @biboramp3 @naaaaafla @weird-bookworm @icyminghao @blue-jisungs @wootify @n4mj00nvq @itsveronicaxxx @fallingforshua29 @joshuaahong @frankenstein852 @lvlystars @mirxzii @wheeboo @fairyhaos @kikohao @rubywonu @odxrilove @writingmeraki @asasilentreader @kwonshiho @belladaises @graybaeismytae @mykpopficblog @seunghancore @emotionalsupportbrat @moodays @avaaahuang @foxinnie8 @wonvsmile
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mins-fins · 4 months
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AUDERE EST FACERE. — [Z.CL]
❝to dare is to do..❞
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SYNOPSIS: where crown prince zhong chenle, forced into a marriage with a woman he doesn't like and riddled with complicated feelings, finds solace in the palace's very own medic, you.
PAIRING: zhong chenle x male!reader
GENRE: royalty au, not really modern but not really medieval time period either, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, angst, kinda humorous, prince!chenle x medic!reader, kinda forbidden relationship, ambiguous/open ending
WARNINGS: might not be accurate to medieval times, death, blood & gore, forced marriage, mentions of disease, unhealthy ways of grieving, a lot of mentions of violence
WORD COUNT: 22.7k
NOTES: woah woah woah!!! this whole fic broke a whole bunch of isa records…….. hiiii jj 😊 hi chenle stans 😊 hello nct male reader community 😊😊😊 i hope im serving the isanator nation well (consists of 2 ppl) ANYWAY this is one of the works i am genuinely most proud of because for one, it's my longest ever work, and for two, i'm just so happy with how it turned out!! this was originally meant to be like 16k words but then i got carried away and now this is here 🙁 i truly apologize for how long this is but PLEASEEE dont get bored i swear it gets good 😞😞 and i did write ambiguous ending but it does seem pretty straightforward so um… im sorry for that, this fic would've been MUCH MUCH LONGER than 22k words but i already beat my former wc record so i just cut a bunch of other unnecessary scenes 😶 alright thats enough of my yapping!! ily jj my bsf ever ty for listening to me ramble abt this endlessly in ur inbox 😊😊💗
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CHENLE REMEMBERS IT LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY. his little feet sneakily took him away from the huge meeting room full of intimidating adults talking about gibberish, and slowly, they lead him to a much more enjoyable place. at the time, seven year old chenle couldn't figure out why his parents needed such a big meeting room, or why all of these important people came to the castle every few months, to him, those strangers were nothing but tryhards, greedy men and women who were never pleased no matter how much they were offered.
seven year old chenle could never truly figure out why his parents insisted on having him sit around with these other important adults, listening to them talk about the economy, kingdom relations, marriage, all this stuff that isn't interesting to seven year old boys.
the young prince found his feet leading him to a place of familiar comfort, the palace's own rose garden. he could never truly explain why the air surrounding the abundance of roses ever became of comfort to him, because roses are anything but comfortable to hold, but whenever he felt like father and mothers fights were getting too aggressive, he could just come here and everything would be okay.
the gardener, a woman by the name of mrs. qian, was always sweet to chenle, much sweeter than his father usually was. her son, qian kun, is basically chenle's older brother, the older boy often comes around whenever his mothers in work, and he tells chenle stories of what goes on at the village schools, the newest gossip and adventures he's gone on with his friends.
chenle often finds himself interested in the life of a commoner, they're all just so intriguing.. he can't believe the stories most of the time, but he is homeschooled, and has been holed up in this castle for as long as he can remember, so how he can prove or debunk any of these things? he just thinks that non-royals are some of the most entertaining people he knows, they're all so hilarious.
as soon as the seven year old chenle stepped into the rose garden, a feeling of relief seeps into his body. he takes in a deep breath, and finally allowed for his shoulders to slump, much too tired of having to keep his back straight all this time.
he lets himself relax into the atmosphere, finally away from the suffocated room full of adults seemingly speaking a language he could not understand. if that's what kings and queens have to do, chenle thinks he'd rather not take the throne.
the seven year old prince allowed for his eyes to scan the garden, it's empty. well that makes sense, mrs. qian isn't in today and neither is her son, they went on a holiday. he sighs to himself, he misses kun's company, but alas, no one is around.
chenle makes his way around to a specific rose bush, it has the most roses out of the bunch. seven year old chenle used to think the rose bushes were magic, the roses always grew so quickly, one day there'd be none and the next there'd be hundreds, it was purely shocking to the young prince.
chenle, as always, began tracing the shape of the roses with his finger. he finds them pretty, as he does all flowers. it might sound like he's being basic, but roses are probably his favorite of the bunch. they're just so beautiful, and most importantly— they're sharp.
but the seven year old chenle is startled out of his rose admiring due to a shout.
"hey! don't touch those!"
the young prince furrowed his eyebrows at the words, what's wrong with touching the roses? it's not like there are garden rules or anything. when chenle turned to the source of the shout, that's when he sees the person.
you, it was you. adorable seven year old you who ran up to him as quickly as you could, you stopped as soon as you made it his way, panting like you had just run a marathon. "don't touch the roses".
the young chenle blinked, puzzled. "why can't i touch them? i'm the prince you can't tell me what to do—"
"they're sharp! you're gonna hurt yourself see?" you pointed at chenle's hand, and he looked down, eyes widening as he came across the sight. his finger was bleeding, oh that's bad. "roses have thorns, you have to be careful".
chenle had no idea who you were then, but all he knew was that you were worried. your eyes were watering, as if you were going to burst into tears at any moment, and you took a deep breath as you slowly began freaking out over the small cut on the prince's index finger. "oh uh— i didn't even notice".
"it's okay really, god i have a bandaid don't i? hold on.." you mumbled, worried as ever as you began rummaging through your pockets, trying to find a bandaid to patch up the prince with.
"it's fine it's just a small cut i.." chenle paused in between his words, clearing his throat. "who are you?"
right, you were still a stranger, chenle had no idea who you were then, for all he could know, you had broken into the palace or something. you finally stopped looking through your pocket, your face went a bright red as you faced the prince again. "um my name is y/n, i'm the—"
"y/n honey? where did you run off to?"
now chenle recognized that voice, that was the voice of the palace's sweet medic. mrs. l/n had a voice that was like honey, she was easily one of chenle's favorite staff members, not only because she would always be there to wipe his tears when he scraped his knee, but she always offered him delicious candy. "oh! there you are!"
"good afternoon mrs. l/n" chenle politely greeted, and you let out a small sigh of relief at the sight of your mother, though that look of worry was still prominent in your eyes.
"chenle, how are you doing?" she reached over to ruffle the young prince's hair, which he accepted happily, giggling at the gesture. "i'm doing good, ma'am".
"he has a cut on his finger" you muttered to her, and a small 'ah' leaves her lips as she finally realized what was going on. "i wanted to help him but i didn't have any bandaids" you seemed disappointed in yourself, as your gaze immediately lowered to the floor.
"oh sweetie, it's okay" your mother shook your shoulder, reassuring you. "just remember to call me before running off".
"i'll remember, sorry".
the young prince blinked at the sight before him, though he continued to smile at the sight of your mother. "sorry for yelling at you, your highness" you muttered in your low voice, and all chenle did was shake his head, waving you off.
"it's alright you were just trying to help" chenle replied, he finds seven year old you to be the epitome of adorable, just the cutest person in the world.
"let's get you that bandaid yeah?"
chenle nodded, you nodded, and the two of you proceeded to follow your mother out of the garden and to her office.
when chenle thinks back to this moment, the moment he first met you, he likes to compare it to an explosive, just waiting to be lit, just waiting to be set off and destroy everything. when he thinks back to the first moment he met you, chenle can't help but reminisce about it.
after your mother helped him with his cut, the two of you.. talked. you talked about things all seven year old boys talk about, and it was one of the highlights of chenle's day, though he kept trying to make you drop the formalities and call him by his first name, you vehemently disagreed.
the two of you became friends (and just chenle calling the two of you "friends" was enough to almost send seven year old you into cardiac arrest), a royal and a commoner, but chenle never saw it that way, chenle has never seen it that way. a friend is a friend, regardless of status or their economic situation. yes chenle is at a great advantage, being the prince of the kingdom you lived in, but he never held it over you, he isn't like that.
you were— are a special friend to chenle. sometimes, it feels like the two of you have known each other your whole lives. you mean much more to him than he actually lets slip, but he'll never let that be known, even under kun's watchful eye and jisung's insistence on knowing if you two really are just "friends".
chenle spends a lot of time thinking about the day you two first met, it's like a looping episode of a show in his head.
"chenle? did you even hear me?"
no response.
a grunt of frustration is sounded in the room, but the prince doesn't react, much too busy zoned out as a specific memory replays in his head for the seventh time that hour.
"chenle! pay attention!"
the slam of a hand against the table, paired with the loud shout is enough to snap the now twenty one year old crown prince out of his little dazed memory recalling session. chenle startles, but he quickly lets his face relax, sighing as he rejoins the conversation he'd previously zoned out on. "what?"
chenle's mother pinches the bridge of her nose, an exasperated sigh escaping her lips. "marriage, chenle, that's what were talking about".
oh god, chenle resists the urge to groan. he isn't exactly on board with this whole marriage thing, but then again, he has no other choice, his father is gone and he's next in line for the throne, this is how it goes for each royal family, he should just suck it up and deal with it head on. "yeah yeah, sorry, i didn't sleep much last night".
it's not exactly a lie, these days usually have chenle plagued with some sort of sleeplessness, but that isn't the main reason he was zoned out, obviously. "alright.. anyway, i talked with the zhu's, we agreed that you and their daughter, yinuo, are to marry".
chenle recognizes the family name, unfortunately, he doesn't exactly recognize their daughter. "you're marrying me off to a stranger? what about the girls i actually know, suyin? jia? mingxia? they're actually my friends, i'd be much more comfortable with them than a princess i've never met".
"marriage doesn't work like that, chenle" the words are enough to make chenle grit his teeth, he bites his tongue, though. "all you have to do is merely get along with her enough that it looks like you're in love at the wedding, rule the kingdom, and have children".
chenle raises an eyebrow, rocking back and forth in his chair. "that sounds a tad bit dystopian, mother".
the older woman does nothing but narrow her eyes at chenle, a look he's become used to receiving from her at this point. "it's just how everything goes, le, i don't know what to tell you".
chenle bites his inner cheek, looking everywhere else in the room. he always knew marriage was a custom, if not out of true love, it would be out of convenience. chenle had been given so much time to go find a woman to fall in love with, but he didn't find it that easy, maybe he just has too many requirements when it comes to love. he doesn't exactly support the whole thing about creating new heirs, but he was born into this family for this reason, what is the point of being a king if not sacrificing his freedom for the happiness of others?
chenle has always known that he wouldn't exactly enjoy this part of his life, and his father just had to go early, he is very much upset, but he doesn't disclose those feelings to anyone. after his long minutes of silence, chenle stands up from the table, again facing his mother. "yes yes i get it, mother" he mutters, making his way over to his mother and pressing a kiss to her cheek, realizing that she was trembling in anxiousness. "don't worry about me, i'll be fine".
but would he really? chenle can't exactly determine that.
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"HOW DID YOUR LITTLE MARRIAGE CONVERSATION GO?" QIAN KUN cannot contain his interest, immediately finding chenle and inquiring about his upcoming marriage. chenle can always go to kun to talk about things troubling his mind, the older is a person of solace for him, a comfort in this big castle that seems to be swallowing him whole. chenle is glad he has kun, even with how much he does tease him, he's truly grateful for the older. "whose the lucky lady?" the words are enough to get a groan out of chenle, who shoved his nose into his book.
"zhu yinuo".
kun's eyes widen, clearly he recognizes that name. "of azerene?"
chenle clicks his tongue, not sparing the older a glance. "yes, that one".
the older male hums, merely glancing at the crown prince. "why do you sound so uninterested? marriage should be a fun topic for you".
his teasing tone doesn't breeze past chenle, but the younger doesn't comment on it, focusing on the topic of the novel in his hands. "not when it's with a women i don't know, i'm just being placed into a union with a stranger, a stranger who i'm then going to have make babies with so that the treasurable zhong family lives on for generations and generations".
"well isn't that the whole point of royal families, though?" kun asks absentmindedly, it seems he meant to say that in his head, seeing as how he slaps a hand over his mouth immediately after the question escapes his lips, but chenle doesn't mind, getting offended over such a question is the last of his worries. "..sorry".
"it's alright" chenle responds, his voice a low echo in the expanse of a room. "it's how most things go anyway, i should know better than to question it".
"i just don't think it's fair" chenle only gives a mere hum, though he notices kun's tone of concern. "yeah you're supposed to create heirs at the end of the day, but not even with someone you love?"
"you ask too many questions".
kun scoffs, turning to chenle with a look of betrayal in his eyes. "i'm just saying what your thinking, chenle, i worry about you".
chenle, who sighs silently, finally closes his book and gives the older an indistinguishable look. "you don't have to worry about me, i'll be fine, i always am".
a lie, one as clear as day too. chenle doesn't exactly know how to explain what he feels, sometimes it feels like everything is bubbling up slowly, closing in on him and suffocating him to death. he assumes it's normal to feel like this, especially with people who don't talk about how they feel, but chenle doesn't know how to bring it up to people without making everything weird.
it's all just complicated.
chenle finally stands up, running a hand through his hair and folding the page of his book as to not lose his page. he makes his way over to kun, whose mindlessly folding his own clothes as he admires the butterfly tank before him.
the butterflies were an installment chenle begged for his father to get for him after he read a book on metamorphosis once, it was a gift for his twelfth birthday, though he wanted a room to be a whole conservatory for him, his father said that would be "unnecessary" (and as an adult, chenle is inclined to agree with that statement). he finds the winged beings to be beautiful, a kind of striking that only specific animals can replicate.
yes, chenle is a huge fan of butterflies, his love for them runs deep. he lightly taps the glass encasing the creatures with his nail, gaze laser focused on the flying insects and their bright colored wings.
"you say that all the time, but i can never truly tell if you are" kun finally responds after letting his answer wither in the silence of the room, his eyes wander over to chenle, who does nothing but admire the trapped butterflies before him.
the words get a small smile out of chenle, but he's not sure why, though they do make him smile. "i am fine, there's no need to look in further".
"you know me, i'm always going to look further".
chenle allows for himself to chuckle at the response. he's right about that.
he stares at the butterflies encased in the glass box, practically trapped against their own will. his mind wanders, the butterflies remind him of something very familiar.
but he pretends to have no idea what it is.
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CHENLE OFTEN FINDS HIMSELF SLEEPLESS THESE DAYS. after the first two hours of insomnia took over, the crown prince decided to entertain himself by reading that book he's left off at earlier that day, but by the time he looked at the clock again, two more hours had passed, and he had finished the book which he once thought would enthrall him until his body gave into it's exhaustion. he lets his arm fall, placing the copy of strange case of dr. jekyll and mr. hyde onto his desk. he's still not tired, for some unknown reason. 
maybe another book will do the trick, chenle's mind tells him, and he agrees with that statement enough that he swings out of his bed and his feet grace the cold floor. it's cold, it's always cold at night, but chenle thinks it's always extra cold at night on purpose.
the crown prince tries his best to shake off the freezing temperature of the room, slipping on a fuzzy sweater and grabbing the lamp from his desk. if sleep isn't going to come him, he could at least spend some of the night in the library, it'll be a good way to pass time.
the library is a nice place of comfort, chenle has always been able to relax his mind the most when he's reading. reading is one of the easiest hobbies to have, because you're not tiring yourself out, but your also doing something fun (but chenle has learned that some people don't really describe reading as their idea of 'fun').
when chenle was younger, reading was really all he did. he was homeschooled, so the most lessons he got were three a day, mother and father never cared about what he had to tell them, dismissing his words as just idiotic child talk. no one ever gave him the time of day if they weren't forced to, so chenle quickly found comfort in the many books which littered the library.
by the time chenle was fourteen, he had already read most of the books in the library, and that includes the unnecessarily huge dictionary. he could almost always be found in the library if not in his room or the rose garden, immersing himself in another world of fiction or nonfiction.
the library is basically his second home, he's there all the time, engrossed in the literature which is all he can see.
the constant creaking of the old structure is all chenle can hear as he makes his way over to the library. at one in the morning, the palace is truly creepy, like one of those haunted buildings full of spirits that suddenly scare you in the night.
now, chenle isn't one to believe in the supernatural, but some of these nightly events in the castle truly can't be explained away. sometimes, he almost gives in to believing all of stories about paranormal activity happening in the castle, something about an old king going haywire and murdering his whole entire family.
father and mother would tell him the stories to scare him out of staying up late, saying that old king chen was gonna come out of the walls late at night and scare him if he ever tried to roam the palace halls past his bedtimes.
but chenle's an adult now, much too grown to be believing in some make believe ghost stories.
back to his mission of getting to the library with nothing but his tiny lamp, chenle sighs in the darkness of the empty halls, his sigh seemingly echoing in the silence and bouncing off the walls. he pauses to observe his barely lit surroundings, and he feels his stomach drop when he hears the sound of faint footsteps across the hall.
who else could be awake at this time?
"hello?"
chenle pauses again as he listens to the greeting. he recognizes that voice, it's you, chenle thinks he could recognize your voice from miles away. "y/n?" he calls out, he doesn't mean to do that, he just really wanted to say your name, is that such a crime? he doesn't think it is.
when you finally come into his like of vision, chenle lets out a sigh of relief, the pit in his stomach will hopefully go away now. for some reason, he feels much more safe with you here. "oh god you scared me ch— your highness".
ah, it's still the same, despite your long friendship, you still don't usually address chenle by his name. you always say it's because you have to "respect his title", but chenle doesn't really like it. he likes it more when you call him by his first name, even if it is disrespectful for a commoner to do such a thing.
chenle never cares when it's with you.
"you scared me" chenle emphasizes, taking in a deep breath. "my apologies".
"it's fine, uh.. why are you awake exactly?" you ask, though chenle wanted to ask you that, it seems you beat him to it. how funny. "if you don't mind me asking of course".
of course, all you ever really do is look after people, you take after your mother, it's evident to chenle that being a medic was your calling. "oh i can't sleep, i'm heading to the library to get a book that'll hopefully tire me".
you chuckle at the words, your laughter is pretty, chenle notes. "of course, you're always in that library, seems you spend most of your time reading" chenle laughs at your tone of voice, your teasing him, you talk like how your mother used to talk about him when you were children.
"reading is..fun".
those words seem to confuse you, and you blink, lightly tilting your head to the side. "i have never heard someone describe reading as fun, but i guess it makes sense for you".
chenle wants to ask about the meaning of those words, because they seem to have so many layers, but you begin again before he can even try to ask. "i heard about your new marriage" there's a certain distaste in your voice chenle can't exactly pinpoint. "congratulations".
chenle allows for himself to frown, his stomach curling in an uncomfortable way at just the thought of his new marriage. he doesn't want to talk about it, because it's just going to make him upset. "oh yeah it's quiet.. exciting news".
you pick up on his tone of disgust, his gritted teeth, and the way his eyes quickly cast around the room, but you stay silent. "anyway, i should be heading to the library, find a nice book, have any recommendations?"
you blink at the sudden question, scouring your mind for books you think the crown prince might be charmed by. "frenchman's creek by daphne du maurier".
chenle raises an eyebrow. "that's in the library?"
"yeah i uh— i read it a couple weeks ago, it was amazing" you mutter, trying to keep eye contact with the prince who was clearly trying to not look you in the eye. "i think you'll like it, i mean— i hope you do".
chenle hums, noting down your recommendation in his mind. "i'll make sure to read it then, thank you y/n, good night".
your eyes widen as you realize that it is indeed the middle of the night, and your conversation has to end eventually. "right right, it's no problem, good night your highness".
chenle frowns again at the sound of his title escaping your lips, but he doesn't say anything, just gives you a small smile and walks past you and towards the library.
he doesn't see you watch him walk away, he's much too busy thinking about how much he wants you to say his name.
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"ARE YOU ALRIGHT? YOU LOOK TIRED" THE WORRYING tone in his fiancée's voice doesn't breeze past chenle, but he pays it no mind, ignoring the question. yinuo blinks, clearly expecting the silence, chenle's mother did say he's prone to giving people the "cold shoulder". she sighs, reaching out to touch his shoulder but immediately pulling back, he probably wouldn't like that. "chenle.."
"i'm fine" chenle replies faster than he intends, he brushes off any dust that might be on his shoulder and rubs his right eye. "i just lost a few hours of sleep that's all" he states rather unconvincingly, but yinuo doesn't comment more, just sighs again.
chenle holds out his arm, which the princess quickly links with hers, an indescribable emotion in his eyes. "let's just get this over with.." he shakes his head, feeling a hand of support from his future wife run up and down his back. "the faster we get through with this the faster we both get out of here".
yinuo is happy to know chenle doesn't despise her, he's just not comfortable with her, and chenle, he really is trying his best, he might be coming off as rude, but he just isn't on board with this whole thing. "they're all so extra, making us do this.."
"right, the least they could do is make us enter at different times but no, we have to do this walk in together like were walking down the aisle".
chenle glances down at their linked arms, letting a sigh escape his lips as the two of them finally exit the room they had been put into together. starting their way off to the meeting room down the hall, chenle allows for his mind to wander, he can't be focused on his fiancée or upcoming marriage, he's much too focused on other things.
you, namely.
the crown prince can't focus on what's going on when the only thing prominent in his mind is you. yeah your exchange last night was a short one, but it was also a memorable one. after weeks of going back and forth with things that just didn't make sense, and a mind that was in a frenzy, just talking to you in the middle of the night was enough to relax chenle.
you two haven't been able to talk in the past few weeks.. evidently, chenle is a prince to be king who has to focus on ruling a kingdom and your a medic who has to focus on taking care of others. you two have no time to be friends now that you're adults, it doesn't help that chenle now has all this added pressure on him, and you clearly feel like he's become a stranger.
chenle guesses the.. power imbalance is what's driving this. he's apart of the royal family, a crown prince, set to take the crown and become king, your a commoner, someone who lives just above the poverty line, the only reason you're able to stay afloat is because you took up your mothers position as the palace's medic, but even then, you can almost barely take care of her.
chenle hates thinking about it, because the two of you used to be so close, an unbreakable pair, two boys who couldn't be separated even with the differences between you two. your ranks in society never bothered you, never disturbed your friendship, never disturbed you as a pair, it never mattered. he often finds himself reminiscing on those times, the times where he could see you without his mind listing everything he had to do after that.
"chenle? are you listening?"
chenle blinks out of his daze, arm still linked with yinuo's as he gazes at his future father in law. he pretends to not see the look of worry the woman on his arm sends him, clearing his throat. "yeah, my apologies".
"uh huh, my regards to you, i know the sudden.. passing of the king was hard on you, and we hope your grieving well".
so your throwing your daughter at me, how great. chenle laughs in his mind, tongue poking through his inner cheek, he already knew he wasn't going to like where this was going. "now, about the marriage—"
chenle tunes him out easily, letting out a silent sigh which his mother hears, sending him a glare from across the room as the breath escapes his lips. he doesn't pay any mind to the look from his mother, though he knows she's quickly getting annoyed with how he isn't paying attention.
the discussion is exactly how chenle thought it'd be, the parents discuss everything and just assume their children agree from the get go, they don't even bother asking them their thoughts, or even how they felt, they just threw them into this like they were some baby making machines.
chenle guesses it's just how the cycle goes, his parents had to go through this, and so did their parents before them, and their parents before them, and so on. this is how things work, chenle can't run away from his fate, even with how much he opposes this arrangement.
"and for children.." just the mention of children is enough to make both chenle and yinuo tense, but they both play it off as the cold of the room making them flinch. "you can decide how many you want, but more than one would be nice, and especially a son would be nice".
of course, chenle sings in his head. he wonders how much they'll have to drill that into their heads, some stupid importance men have or something. he glances at his fiancée, whose trembling in her place beside him. he places a gentle hand on her back. "it's alright, calm down" he whispers enough so that she can hear it over the chatter of her father and mother.
"this is not fun".
"yeah, tell me about it" the crown prince grits his teeth, his comment eliciting a small laugh out of the woman beside him. he has to admit, he does enjoy her company.
"ah, i see you two are getting along!"
upon hearing the remark, the two pause, an awkward silence spreading between them. they exchange a small glance before chenle clears his throat, speaking up. "yeah um.. this was a nice meeting, we can continue chatting about the marriage another time, we thank you for coming, the guards will escort you out".
though chenle smiles at his future in laws, he feels nothing but nauseous the whole time.
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"WHERE ARE YOU HEADING, YOUR HIGHNESS?" THE QUESTION from kun isn't enough to make chenle stop in his tracks, and he continues his way down the hall. kun blinks as the younger ignores him, furrowing his eyebrows. he then lets out a sigh, letting his hands drop as his eyes stay pointed at the crown prince. "chenle? where are you going?" chenle still doesn't stop, but he seems to acknowledge the older this time.
"to the rose garden" he responds quickly, only getting another eyebrow furrow from the older. he finally stops, turning towards the other with a look that kun cannot exactly pinpoint at the current moment. "if you need me, i'll be there".
"is something wrong?"
chenle takes in a breath, gritting his teeth. curse qian kun for being so caring, curse him for always knowing when something's up. he's quick to shake his head, mustering the fakest of fake smiles. "nothing's wrong! i just need fresh air!"
kun blinks, totally not buying that horrible lie, but he doesn't say anything about it, just mutters a small "okay" and lets chenle be on his way. chenle didn't mean to lie to kun, he just doesn't know how to explain his feelings at the current moment.
so, he gives the older a small smile, turning on his heel and making a beeline towards the titular rose garden, the one that's given him so much comfort over these past few years. he doesn't know why just the presence of everyone in that room was enough to make him want to throw up, but his anxieties wouldn't settle, he can't bear to stay inside this castle much longer.
chenle has no idea why the feeling of suffocation is constantly overtaking him these days, but the walls are slowly pushing in on him, leaving him breathless and nothing more than a weak human vessel.
when chenle does finally step outside, met by a plethora of roses and the smell of pollen in the air, the pit in his stomach doesn't settle. instead of letting out a sigh of relief, he pauses in his tracks, allowing for his eyes to roam the area he'd grown to love as a child.
chenle sighs, not of relief, but sighs with another indescribable feeling he can't explain, walking up to a display of white roses. he knows they're sharp, your old warnings flash in his head as he stares at the pretty flowers before him, tracing them with his fingers as he's always done when in the rose garden.
"don't hurt yourself again, your highness".
it's when chenle hears you that he immediately jumps, but then he relaxes, slowly. what were the odds of this happening again? you seem to read his mind, because you chuckle at the expression which graces his features. chenle raises an eyebrow, a humored smile coming to his face. "you sure you actually have bandaids this time?"
the reference makes you snicker, looking down at the floor as you turn away from your childhood friend. you rummage through your pocket, finally pulling out a bandaid, one which wasn't present when you were seven and yelling for chenle to not touch the roses. "there you go, now you won't cut your finger".
for once today, chenle suddenly feels relaxed, it's always with you, isn't it? his mind notes that down, he'll remember it for later. he takes the bandaid from you, a smile coming to his face as the nostalgia settles on him. "thank you, you're always looking after everyone, you sure know how to do your job".
the words make you pause, but you don't look at chenle as you think of a response, instead turning to the white roses displayed in front of you. you lightly poke them, letting out a small hum of affirmation. "well, what kind of medic would i be if i didn't look out for others? i'd be an idiot to ever let our highness get hurt".
chenle's lips turn up, and he laughs in just the slightest, but he isn't sure why he laughs. there's just something about you that makes chenle feel at ease, you calm his worries without even having to do anything, it's not like he's even telling you about these worries either, but the anxiety he once felt seems to be nothing now.
spending time with you calms chenle, he wants to preserve as much of this time as possible.
"i started reading your recommendation" chenle suddenly blurts out, wanting to continue a conversation with you. he doesn't know how limited your time will be. "frenchman's creek.. i like it so far, it's an interesting choice, though".
you raise an eyebrow. "why's that?"
"i didn't peg you for an enjoyer of pirate romances" chenle shrugs, and he quickly looks away, not wanting to stare at you for too long, because he doesn't think he'd be able to look away.
"well i don't like limiting my interests to one genre, you'd know about that".
chenle blinks, the words striking him in a way only the words you say can. how do you always manage to do that? it's not really the words, it's just how you say them, even if you don't make your intentions clear, chenle always knows what you mean. "it always manages to surprise me, i'm not sure what's gonna happen next".
you click your tongue, a small smile coming to your face. "just so you know, it doesn't have a happy ending".
chenle gasps, overdramatizing the volume of his voice. "you're giving me spoilers? in the rose garden?" his words make you snicker, and you pick a white rose from the bush, unfazed by the thorns which slowly sink into your fingers.
"i didn't spoil anything specific" you finally turn back to chenle, twirling the rose between your fingers. "just told how it was gonna end up.." you mutter, stepping closer to chenle unconsciously. you look at up, suddenly anxious as ever. "may i?" you ask, motioning towards the rose with your eyes.
chenle blinks, his mind going blank for a few seconds. what do you want to do exactly? he gazes at your hands fidgeting on the stem of the flower, and the pieces slowly put themselves together in his brain. are you going to..? "i— yes, sure.."
you raise an eyebrow, not really trusting the seemingly hesitant consent chenle had given, but he clears his throat, reiterating it for you; "yes, you can".
upon hearing the answer, you step closer once again, placing the rose into his hair, your careful to not hurt chenle, and especially careful because you don't want the stem to get tangled in chenle's hair. "i.. i thought it'd look nice on you, and it does, you look— you look great".
chenle blinks, a sudden red hue coloring his cheeks. it's such a basic compliment, one he's been given many times by other people, but it feels different coming from you.
it's always different when it's with you.
chenle clears his throat, unable to prevent a smile from crossing his face. you don't look at him anymore, looking away to prevent yourself from burning up, but you allow for a smile to come to your face as you think about the action you just performed.
you have no idea why you're so giddy about this.
"oh um.." chenle pauses, laughing awkwardly. "thank you, that's very sweet".
"oh it's no problem i just— i uh, it compliments your hair".
chenle hums, looking down at the floor. he hopes you don't see his face burning, and you hope he doesn't see your face burning, it's such a hilarious thing, but you both are much too flustered to find your current circumstances amusing. "you have an eye for those things too?"
"well i have an eye for many things".
i can see that, chenle doesn't say that, though, just smiles at you. you only give him a mere glance, and a small smile yourself. "it was nice seeing you, ch— your highness" you notice how your correction makes chenle frown, but you continue. "i'll be off now, have a good day".
chenle only frowns again when he realizes your time together is over, he wants to continue the conversation, wants to try to use an excuse, wants to use his power to order you to stay, but he doesn't give into the desires he wants so badly, just nods. "oh uh, don't let me keep you here".
you chuckle. "i wouldn't really mind if you did".
the words have an unspoken affect on chenle, an affect that he can't exactly explain, but he can feel. he can feel it in the way his ears heat up and his stomach flips. "alright then, bye y/n".
"bye".
and as chenle watches you leave, the feeling of anxiety he'd entered the garden with seemed to wither away, dissolving away like it was nothing.
he thinks about your 'bye' for hours, unable to get the sound of your voice out of his bed.
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"HOW HAVE YOU BEEN THESE DAYS?" CHENLE doesn't answer immediately, as always these days. he skims the row of books before him, fidgeting with the one in his hands. he's not ignoring his friend, he's just focused on other things. "fine" he responds, grunting as he lightly struggles to pull the book from the shelf, but he doesn't ask for help. he doesn't need help. "what's with that look?"
park jisung blinks at his longtime friend, raising a suspicious eyebrow at him. "you don't look fine".
chenle scoffs, suddenly feeling super defensive. he doesn't look at jisung anymore, the other is going to begin to annoy him if he keeps staring at him. "what do you know about looking fine?"
he hears jisung's sigh of defeat. "well i'm just concerned for you, we haven't talked in a while, you've been so busy preparing for your coronation and.. marriage".
chenle resists the urge to roll his eyes. "my coronation isn't for another three months, preparations have all been lackluster".
"and the marriage?"
chenle snaps his head towards jisung, giving him an indescribable look. jisung is quick to shut his mouth, not wanting to face chenle's terrifying wrath. the older prince glares dangerously at the younger, who chuckles awkwardly and scratches his hand. he doesn't have to say anything, but jisung knows he should probably change the subject.
"uh.. um, are you still friends with that medic kid?"
now that is a question chenle wasn't expecting. a question about you? when he snaps his head over at jisung for the second time, the younger almost freezes, noticing the pointed look in his eyes. "what?"
"y/n, the medic kid!" jisung reiterates, clearly thinking the issue is that chenle didn't hear him the first time. "his mom used to work here, right? is he still around?"
chenle narrows his eyes, puzzled at where jisung is trying to go with this.. question. he'd been dealt with a fair amount of teasing from his friend because of how much closer the two of you seemed, jisung often questioned how much of a "friend" you really were to chenle, but the older would always combat it with a glare and snappy insult as a response.
"yes he's still around.. he took over mrs. l/n's position".
jisung blinks dumbly. "oh? what happened to her?"
just the question is enough to put a sour taste in chenle's mouth. "she just couldn't go on any longer one day, she retired a few years ago and he took over her position".
"you don't know what happened to her?"
"y/n didn't tell me anything specific" chenle is beginning to get annoyed. he knows it's in jisung's nature to be curious like this but god, if he wanted to know these things so bad he could've just asked you. "just go ask him if you're so curious".
he hears a small "hmph" sound from jisung before the younger prince sounds again. "i will then! y/n! hey!"
chenle didn't actually think you'd be passing by the library at that exact moment, but you were. you pause, backtracking as you look into the library, blinking at the jumping prince before you. "uh— hi, your highness, what do you need me for?"
jisung is quick to chuckle, waving off your use of formalities. "please, there's no need to be so formal, were friends after all!"
you only respond with a small smile, giving chenle a mere glance. "i'm just doing what i'm supposed to, i can't call you by your name.."
"well right now, you're going to call me by my name" jisung demands, which makes you snicker. he really hasn't changed. you look down at the floor, hands picking at your nails. "your allowed to, right chenle?"
chenle was not expecting to be included in this conversation. is jisung reading his mind or something? how could he seem to tell exactly what chenle wanted to say? he feels his face heat up, but he isn't exactly sure why it does that. "i mean— yeah, yes, were friends".
jisung then turns back to you, a clear 'see?' expression on his face as he smiles in victory at chenle proving him right. you chuckle at chenle's response, smiling again, but it's much more directed at chenle this time. "fine then, jisung, what do you need me for?"
jisung then walks towards you, placing a hand on your shoulder (a hand chenle is suddenly laser focused on) almost as if to reassure you. "how have you been?"
your eyebrows furrow. it's not a weird question to ask, you just weren't expecting for him to ask a question. you share another confused glance with chenle, then snickering lightly. "fine.. i uh— i've just been trying my best, as always".
jisung hums, his finger going up to caress your cheek lightly, a finger which chenle again laser focuses on, he can't help but narrow his eyes at jisung, wondering what the hell is he doing?
"uh huh, and how's your mother?"
at the mere mention of your mother, you seem to go still, pausing as you let jisung's question simmer into the air. you try your best to collect your words, opening your mouth to speak, but then you close it, as if wanting to keep your thoughts to yourself.
chenle picks up on your sudden silence, as if he could feel your heightened anxieties, he speaks up; "are you alright, y/n?" he asks, concern lacing his tone as he sees the worry in your eyes as you think about your mother.
you snap out of your little daze, clearing your throat as you nod. "yeah yeah, i uh— i'm fine, mom is.. she's doing okay".
"okay?"
"she's sick" you blurt quickly, fingers fidgeting at shirt collar. "but she's doing much better now, i'm taking care of her and everything.." you look away from the two royals, scratching your cheek out of habit.
"oh, oh my god i didn't know she was sick" jisung realizes how awkward he made the situation. "um, i wish her the best".
chenle doesn't say anything, he sees the way you glance around the room, desperately trying to think about everything else. "yeah, tell her i said hi" he states immediately, and you finally stop looking around the room to look at chenle, he notices that look in your eyes, the one where it seems like your about to cry, but you're holding in your tears.
even with all that, you smile at chenle, as if his words had healed you in some way. "i'll make sure to do that, i uh.. i have to go now, i don't want for anyone to die while i stand here".
jisung's eyes widen, and he gasps. "right! go go, you have a job to do, sorry for holding you up" you dismiss his words with a wave, jisung is still so cute, as cute as he was when you were children.
"it's fine really, you actually kind of made my day".
"well i'm happy that i could!"
you smile again at jisung, then smile lightly at chenle, who almost wants to jump towards you and trap you in a tight hug. "thank you, your hi— jisung" you quickly correct yourself, clearing your throat. "i'll see you some other time, and you chenle, i'll see you later".
chenle allows for himself to go red at the words, what do you mean by later? he tries his best to register the words, and the fact that you just called him by his name after what seems like forever, but he doesn't say anything, even though he feels jisung's gaze burning holes into his head. "later? yeah, later".
chenle has no idea why he agreed.
it's you, that's why he agreed.
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WHEN CHENLE FINDS HIMSELF SLEEPLESS AGAIN that very night, he doesn't even think before raising out of his bed and deciding he was going to go to the library. he stares at the copy of frenchman's creek on his desk, mind immediately flashing with thoughts of you. he feels the structure of the book cover with his finger, blinking as he weighs his options for a moment. he could go back to sleep, but he could also go to the library and entertain himself with more literature.
"i already got up anyway.." chenle mutters to himself, grabbing the book on his desk and the situated lamp on his desk. he doesn't mind the chills which course through his body, though it's cold, the cold is no longer a bother to him, he's much too busy thinking about books (and you) anyway..
when chenle leaves his room, he notices the halls aren't as dark as they were the other time he walked them when he went to the library the other night. he blinks into the halls, the air practically pushing against him the moment he leaves his room. chenle allows for himself to let out a weary breath, no one is around to watch him be vulnerable anyway.
as he steps out of his room, the floor of the old structure creaking under his feet, he feels a breeze of cold air rush past him, but for some unknown reason, he doesn't shiver.
chenle doesn't allow for himself to stand by and simply breath any longer, so, he takes himself down the hallway, his feet leading him to his familiar place of solace (well second most at least). he notices how the hallway seems to be more lit, he could see torches as he passed through the long corridors, eyes trained on the paintings which situated themselves on the walls.
there have always been paintings decorating the walls, paintings which dictate the many generations of the zhong family. chenle watched as a kid as an artist was appointed to paint him, father, and mother, a new painting to place on the timeline of the zhong dynasty which would extend across the entire palace.
as chenle spends more time thinking about it, it dawns on him, he's going to be displayed on the wall in a painting one day as the king. one day he's going to have to sit down with yinuo and their inevitable child as an artist uses several colors on a canvas to create a painting of the next zhong generation, and his eventual child is going to have to walk past it every time they make it through this expanse of a hallway.
chenle used to enjoy staring at the paintings, used to love watching the process of paintings being created, but now, with father gone, chenle can't bring himself to glance at the painting situated on the wall without feeling nauseous. every time he tries to look at it, a silent breath has to escape his lips, or else he feels like he's going to collapse onto the floor.
he developed a habit of speed walking past the final portrait in the hallway after fathers passing, he could never look at his face again after having to watch the life slowly fade away from his eyes. he can't even look at a photograph of his father anymore without wanting to throw up everywhere.
when chenle makes it to the library, having walked very fast past the last painting in the hallway, he pushes open the doors immediately, wanting so badly to escape the suffocating hallway.
when chenle does make it into the room, he's quick to close the door behind him, but he startles when he notices that someone else is in the room. he blinks and narrows his eyes at the figure in the room, then, he relaxes as he quickly realizes who it is.
it's you.
chenle feels himself calm in just the slightest upon knowing it's you in the room and not some other staff member. it's not that chenle has anything against the other staff, it's just.. it's different with you.
how many times does his mind have to conjure that up as an excuse?
chenle ignores the reprimanding voice, it's one he vaguely recognizes, it's not his voice, it's a distant voice that he thinks he could recognize if he focused hard enough.
but he can't, because you notice him, seemingly reading his thoughts as you turn back to make eye contact with the crown prince. "hi".
"hi" chenle replies easily, it's awkward, of course it's awkward, it's the middle of the night. his eyes dart away from yours, immediately scouring the library. you allow for yourself to snicker at his lack of attention on you, and he notices, now staring dead at you. "what?"
"nothing nothing" you mutter, dismissing it with a wave of your hand. chenle wants to ask about it, but he doesn't, just looks down at the floor. "how was it?"
"huh?"
"the book" you clarify, glancing down at the copy of frenchman's creek chenle has in his hands. chenle quickly feels his face heat up, of course you were referring to the book, what else would you be talking about? the air in the room? his walk down the halls? how he's doing? you patiently wait for his answer, flipping through a book in your hands as you let out a sigh.
"oh uh— it's a surprise, that's for sure, i didn't expect to enjoy it as much as i did, i didn't enjoy the ending, though".
you raise an eyebrow, but a smile comes to your face. "why not?"
chenle finally unfreezes and steps closer to you, the book tucked in his arms as he stands beside you, your shoulders lightly brushing against each other. your eyes finally gaze over at his, and when the two of you make eye contact, it's brief. chenle blinks, and he allows for his lips to turn up, he thinks you look very pretty in this moment, the lighting of the library emphasizing your features.
beautiful, he's beautiful, chenle, a voice sings in his head, a voice which is, again, familiar, but he can't exactly determine who it is.
"i wanted dona and jean to get their happy ending, i was rooting for them".
you hum, seemingly expecting that answer, your eyes shift towards the shelf before you, focused on the books which litter it. "well, i like to think it's realistic, it's not often that people get their happy endings, even if they do deserve it".
chenle takes in your words, it seems like such a you thing to say. "i would've preferred if they did have a happy ending, though, it's why i read fiction in the first place".
"you read fiction because..?"
"it's like an escape from reality".
the words make you pause, and for a second, chenle thinks he must've said something wrong, he can't read the look on your face. he blinks up at you, your silence taking him off guard. "i mean, i guess that makes sense".
you seem to want to say something else, you seem to have a lot of thoughts on your mind, but you don't disclose any of them, just smile. "so, did you like the book?..your highness".
you hesitated before saying it, and chenle knows you wanted to say his name, but you stopped yourself, as always. he feels his gut curl in an uncomfortable way, and he clears his throat.
"y/n?"
"yes?"
chenle takes a deep breath. "were friends" he states immediately, and he notices the way you begin to avoid his eyes, looking everywhere but at him. "were friends, we've known each other since we were seven, you can call me by my name".
the truthful statement makes you pause, and you begin to scour your mind for excuses. "i can't call you by your name, your a noble and i'm a—"
"that's an order".
your mouth closes immediately, you can't argue with that, you can't really argue with anything chenle says. chenle seems pleased by his victory, a small smile showing on his face. you quickly scoff, turning your head away from your childhood friend. "of course you can just do that".
"i just.. it doesn't matter if you work here, your my friend, you can call me by my name".
"alright then, your— chenle, did you like the book?"
chenle chuckles lightly, oh he loves the way you say his name. he remembers when you were younger, you'd always pronounce his name wrong, it frustrated you so much that you would just call him 'le' instead of his full name.
"i did, it was an enjoyable book, the plot made me crave more, i just.. i can't believe it ended like that".
"your still mad about it?"
"yes i'm mad about it! i need my happy ending for my pirate love story!"
you giggle at his words, you giggle, chenle can't believe it. he just made you giggle, in the dead of night, in the palace library, he made you giggle. you take the book away from his hands, placing it back between the other books in the romance section. "sadly, most love stories don't end that way".
chenle sighs, clicking his tongue. "i hate when that happens, i'd like to have just a little hope that true love actually works in the end.."
you chuckle again, shaking your head. "i never thought you'd be a fan of happy endings and stuff like that".
chenle raises an eyebrow, puzzled by the words. "why's that?" he asks, sounding just the slightest bit offended at the statement. you blink, and he guesses that you notice his tone of offense. you find it humorous, and chenle furrows his eyebrows this time.
"i don't know, i guess you struck me as the kind of person who'd enjoy bittersweet endings, you know, you seem to enjoy tragic love stories".
"i do enjoy tragic love stories" chenle makes sure to emphasize his point, and he quickly looks away from you. "but i also like when they have good endings, sometimes, love stories need their happy endings".
"that's cute" you comment, and chenle allows for a smile to come to his face. you didn't call him cute, per se, but it's still enough to make his cheeks go red. he should not be flustered, that's ridiculous, that's— he can't be flustered.
you don't mind his silence, instead walking over to another shelf to see what other books are there. chenle pokes his tongue against his inner cheek, watching you intently. the red dusting his cheeks doesn't go away, it just seems to amplify as you have your back towards him. "it's cute?"
"yeah, i can see where you're coming from, not all love stories need to be.. realistic, if it makes you feel better when the lovers have a happy ending, than who am i to judge?"
chenle rocks back and forth on his heels, letting out a small hum at your words. "so you're the kind of guy who enjoys tragic love stories with horrible endings?"
"on most occasions, yes".
you seem to finally find a book that you'll enjoy, because you pick one from the shelf and turn back to chenle. "so how are you feeling?"
"what?"
you merely glance at chenle, than glance back down at the book in your hands and read the synopsis on the back of it. "how are you feeling these days? you have a lot of new things being stacked on you now, you must be stressed out".
chenle allows for his jaw to drop in just the slightest, it's not like people don't ask him about how he feels, it's that he can't believe you noticed the mini battle he was having with himself. he can't believe you would even be concerned about how he was feeling, he felt like most people wouldn't care about what he was going through anyway.
"oh it's.." chenle pauses, truly not being able to actual formulate coherent words. "well it's a lot, but nothing i haven't been taught how to handle by father".
your face forms into an unreadable expression, one chenle hates because he doesn't exactly know what kind of expression it is. "they prepare you for things like this?"
"well.. mostly, but even with all the excessive lessons, it all kinds of goes to my head and makes my head spin, sometimes it feels like the palace is suffocating me, taking the air out of my lungs and leaving me helpless, sometimes— i don't know, i feel like i'm being swallowed by some horrible force which just wants to make me suffer, i'm not sure why i feel like this really but—"
chenle stops, clearing his throat as he quickly averts his gaze from yours. he has no idea where that vomit of words came from, but he feels if he continues talking, he's going to say something that he'll regret. you don't answer immediately, so chenle decides to speak up once again. "i'm sorry, i have no idea where that came from it's just.. i don't know, pretend i didn't say anything".
"don't apologize, it's good to talk about things like that once in a while, bottling everything up will just overwhelm you even more".
"it's just, i don't talk to people about things like this".
"why not?"
chenle shrugs, not really sure how to answer that question. "i feel they're sort of..unnecessary, i know i can't control how i feel but my feelings have never really felt important in most situations".
"they're important to me".
the words make chenle pause, his ears reddening and a sputter in his voice as he tries his best to respond to that statement. the words are so simple, but they have such a lasting effect on the crown prince that he can't really respond to them. you care, you care, he cares! that one inner voice screams in his head. he feels his heart begin beating sporadically, it's.. god he's so grateful for you. "oh.. uh, really?"
you smile, chuckling softly. "yeah they are, you shouldn't ever feel like they aren't".
chenle feels his stomach flip, you're so sweet. "i.. thank you, y/n".
chenle hopes you don't notice his red face as you spend the rest of the night conversing about several kinds of literature.
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"ARE YOU NERVOUS?" CHENLE MAKES THE MISTAKE OF taking a weary breath when that question is asked. he hears the chuckle of amusement sound from his fiancée's lips, and he allows for a small smile to show on his face. "no" he responds, clearly lying, but yinuo doesn't seem to catch it, as he begins to pick at the fabric of her dress. he turns to her, noticing the clear anxiety she displays.
"i am" she responds, putting on her gloves and rubbing a scar on her knuckles. "i've never really been a big fan of.. crowds" she states, her tone exhibiting disgust as she says the word 'crowds'. chenle has been able to pick up on her habits pretty easily, he has spent much more time with her these days after all.
chenle hums at the response, he gets it, even as he grew up having to get used to these kinds of events, it never got easier. the pit in his stomach would often never cease, that nauseating feeling only heightened, and he could just barely mask the anxious expression on his face. "i get that, they're all too loud".
"i mean, do they really care about us that much? they can't just wait until the wedding.."
the sentence makes chenle snicker as he notices the mere irritation in her tone. "they all just want something to do, i guess" he mutters, pulling his sleeve over his wrist and repeating a reassuring mantra in his head.
it's nothing you haven't done before, chenle, just get it over with, and you'll be fine. chenle thinks if he focuses enough, he can hear his father's voice repeating the mantra to him in his head.
he caresses his wrist lightly, settling in the air of the room. he can hear the faint sound of people cheering outside, and just the sound is enough to make his stomach begin flipping, the anxiety is already heightening. "all that just to see us?"
"they want to see how in love we can look".
"seems unnecessary".
"it is unnecessary".
chenle laughs again, finally walking over to his fiancée and linking their arms together. he sighs, looking down at the floor. "you sure you're not nervous?" she asks once again, raising a curious eyebrow as she notices chenle's change in behavior.
"okay maybe i am a little nervous but that's besides the point".
yinuo laughs, humored by chenle's blatant honesty. he simply gives a small smile, turning to the door of the room and letting out another small breath. they have to face a crowd, a crowd of people who are here to see them and celebrate their totally real love, a crowd who are there to watch as they are confirmed future husband and wife, they're going to get married and have children that go on to take the throne, they have to look in love, they have to.. act in love.
chenle doesn't know how in love he can look, he might get too overwhelmed and throw up right then and there. just the idea of having to do all of this is enough to make him want to cry, and he never thought he'd ever think that, because he doesn't cry, he shouldn't cry, father taught him that enough through ear shattering yells and broken glass.
he hates feeling vulnerable, but in a moment like this, having to mask his feelings in front of a crowd of people who don't know any better, who probably don't care, vulnerability is his one true feeling.
he closes his eyes, taking another deep breath as he tries his best to ignore the anxiety settling upon him.
"chenle!"
chenle snaps out his anxious daze at the shout of his name, recognizing the voice as kun, who he remembers he forgot to greet this morning, as he was in a rush.
but it's not just kun, it's also you, and chenle almost falls to the floor and dies right then and there. kun has his fingers wrapped around your wrist, there's a smile on his face (and yours, chenle thinks your smile is so so pretty). "oh, hi kun, y/n".
look at both of them, chenle, not just y/n.
but for once, chenle doesn't listen to the reprimanding voice in his head.
he doesn't even check how in love with you he must look, just a few seconds ago he was freaking out over how he was supposed to look in love with the woman beside him, but he has no problem looking in love with you.
but he doesn't exactly realize that, too busy admiring you clear as day.
"i— we just wanted to wish you good luck" kun nudges you lightly, and you let out a small laugh as you look away nervously, a red hue tinting your cheeks as you avoid chenle's eyes. "both of you, your highness" he adds, bowing lightly at yinuo and nudging you so you can do the same.
yinuo just smiles, lightly laughing, but chenle is stuck in place, mesmerized by you and.. just you. "thank you, i have to say, everyone here is insanely sweet, i feel welcome".
"well that's my job, i can't have any future queens feeling uncomfortable".
the statement from kun makes you snort, and you shove him in the shoulder. you look away from him to glance at chenle, who is still lost in his mind, you furrow your eyebrows as you watch the cogs in his brains turn, what is he thinking so hard about?
"chenle" you call out.
seemingly snapping out of the trip inside of his mind, chenle looks up at you, hoping it isn't obvious that he's affected by your soft calling of his name. "good luck" you reiterate, a small whisper seemingly shared between only the two of you.
chenle feels his face heat up immediately, eyes widening at the sight of your pretty smile. "thank you, both of you, thank you".
chenle doesn't look over at yinuo when she gives him a weird look.
"right! again, good luck! y/n and i have to go do something right y/n?"
you seem to be puzzled by that comment, chenle determines that by the way your eyebrows furrow. "what? but i thought we were supposed to—"
"alright! good luck you two come on y/n let's go!" kun gives a quick smile and grabs your wrist again to drag you away from the newly engaged couple, who watch as you two make your way down the hall towards another part of the palace.
"weird.." chenle mutters.
"so what was that?" yinuo is quick to ask, making chenle snap his head towards her, clearly not expecting for her to ask him a question.
"what was what?"
"that, chenle" she reiterates, alluding to the little (not so little) lovesick gaze chenle had trained on you for that whole interaction. it's clear that, even with how chenle didn't check the adoration he was staring at you with, she definitely did. "you looked so smitten".
chenle allows for his expression to form into one of shock, what does she mean by that? what the fuck does she mean by that? that makes no sense, it's not like he's in love with you or anything, that would be absurd! that would be—
that wouldn't be entirely out of the picture, think about yourself chenle, the most shocking thing here would be you having no romantic feelings for him.
chenle is about to punch himself in the face for having such thoughts.
"i have no idea what your talking about".
"chenle, i know i don't know you personally like that, but i have never seen you look at someone like you look at him! what is his name? y/n? he has to have you under a spell or something, you were mesmerized".
chenle wants to say that those words are stupid, he wants to spit out some quick rebuttal and have them be on their way, but he can't muster up a coherent excuse for what she just described. how is he supposed to argue with that?
"well, y/n does know how to keep people on the hook".
"seems you enjoy being kept on the hook".
the statement makes chenle pause, and he feels his face burn once again, not at the words, but just at the thought of you, god he misses your presence already, is that weird to say? he's glad he doesn't say it out loud.
"it doesn't matter anyway, what am i supposed to do? tell him about it? not with how everything is turning out.. were getting married in a few months".
"but you're not in love with me" yinuo replies, she's sure of her words, she just knows, chenle almost feels like she's reading his mind. "you want him".
"i can't have him" chenle states as if it's a matter of fact, and it's true, he can't have you. it makes his heart hurt, the idea that even with how much he feels for you, how different it is with you, and how he's had these indescribable feelings for you since he was like eleven, he can't have you.
chenle can't run from his fate, the last thing he wants to do is break the rules, challenge a system that's been in place for pretty much decades at this point.
"you're not going to break the rules for true love?"
chenle just lets a disappointed sigh escape his lips, his stomach flips uncomfortably and he feels his head begin spinning, this topic makes him want to die in the worst way possible. "true love doesn't exist" he states rather harshly. god, he sounds like father, if seven year old chenle heard himself now, he'd grimace at the words and scowl at his new nature.
his heart aches as he utters those words, he can't help but think about you as he says those words.
good god, he feels so helpless.
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"MOTHER, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?" NINE YEAR OLD CHENLE liked to ask questions. chenle has always liked to ask questions, being curious is in his nature, it's just that unlike jisung, he's less annoying about it. when this question popped into his nine year old brain, he knew there was no way he could ever ask father about it, he'd never be able to come back from it. mother has always been much more understanding, even with the stubborn statements she often spouted.
"yes you can, chenle".
"are.. well, can a noble and a commoner ever end up together?"
the question received silence from his mother, who, though she had previously been humming to a pleasant tune, seemed to freeze at even the idea of that question. the nine year old prince watched as his mother's face did at least seven expression changes in a matter of seconds. "could you elaborate on that question, dear?"
"can royalty marry non-royalty? could i ever be with someone who isn't royal like me?"
the reason nine year old chenle was so interested in asking this question was because of something kun had mentioned to him, about one of his cousins marrying into a royal family far far away. it got his mind turning in ways only a child's mind can, he never knew that could happen, he had grown to think that he would just end up with any other princess but could he really have a different fate? could he really change his future?
seeing as how things have gone now.. no, he couldn't.
"it depends on how it goes down, chenle".
"has it ever happened before?"
"of course it has happened" his mother finally answered, and the curious young prince allowed for his eyes to widen comically. oh he was so interested now. "in most scenarios when it does happen the commoner becomes a royal".
"i thought that was outlawed".
that statement got a laugh out of his mother, which made the nine year old blink dumbly. "it can't be outlawed, chenle, that would be ridiculous".
"so could i be with someone of a different class?"
"well, it depends on how it all works out".
chenle blinked again, the wording of the sentence confusing the young prince even more. "would father ever approve of something like that?"
she then went silent again, turning away from chenle to gaze at the bright blue sky. "i'm.. not sure, you know how unpredictable he is".
"well that's why i didn't ask him this".
another chuckle sounded from his mother, and at nine years old, chenle didn't know what was more shocking, knowing that he could possibly not have to be forced into a marriage with a princess from a faraway kingdom, or knowing that his mother didn't really have an issue with that.
too bad he didn't try to use any of that childlike courage to get his point about this marriage across.
when the little parade celebrating his marriage is over, chenle finds himself immediately on his way somewhere. he doesn't know exactly where he was going, his feet seem to have control over themselves, and he can't exactly stop himself from walking.
oh, he knows where he's going.
his feet lead him to a familiar place, your office. throughout that whole.. gathering thing or whatever, he couldn't stop thinking about you. he usually can't stop thinking about you these days, just talking to you is enough to entertain his mind for weeks, surely that can't be normal, right?
"y/n?"
chenle's sudden call startles you, seeing as how you jump from your previous position at the sound of it. he just sort of stands there awkwardly, allowing for you to compose yourself as you smile at him. oh you're smile is so pretty, chenle could stare at it for hours. "oh lord, you scared me! your highness".
chenle doesn't even register the title, just gives a small smile. "sorry i'm just.." he pauses, trying to collect his words. "i don't know, actually, i just kind of came here on a whim" he shrugs, looking down at the floor and not straight at you.
you simply let out a silent chuckle, turning back to your desk and going back to packing. chenle blinks, biting down on his bottom lip as he clears his throat. "oh really? is something bothering you?"
chenle allows for himself to look up again, your back is turned now anyway, so you can't see his rapidly reddening face. "a lot is bothering me, really, it feels like i can't do anything these days without feeling like the world is slowly tearing me apart limb by limb".
"well that's certainly a way to explain your feelings" chenle can't tell how you feel about the whole thing from the tone of your voice, it's something that makes him worry, because he's anxious your making fun of him and he won't be able to tell.
much to his own surprise, you turn around and step towards him. "are you feeling alright? like— physically at least?" you ask, tilting your head to the side to get a better look at him. just your eyes on him is enough to have chenle's stomach doing cartwheels, he hopes you don't notice how flustered he is, that would be extremely embarrassing.
"yeah i'm not dying or anything i'm just.. i'm overwhelmed".
well you'd expect that from someone like chenle, someone in such a position of power. chenle is a crown prince set to be king, he's getting married in a few months (that fact makes your heart hurt for a reason you can't explain), he's the next ruler of the zhong dynasty, of course he is feeling overwhelmed.
"ah well that's expected" you laugh lightly. "you have no symptoms though?"
is my clearly reddening face a symptom? my fluttering stomach? my seemingly labored breathing? why can't you tell i'm madly in love with you yet!?
the screaming voice in his head is just as annoyed as chenle is at his current circumstances. you narrow your eyes as you stare at him, and for a moment, chenle thinks you might be reading his mind, but he quickly dismisses such thoughts because that's ridiculous.
"no, no symptoms, i'm alright".
you seem to want to ask for more reassurance, but you don't, instead shutting your mouth and smiling at chenle. "good, i can't have you dying".
"you'd never let me die".
"you're right about that".
chenle looks down at the floor, determined to not make eye contact with you. "where are you heading?"
chenle only realizes then that you're packing your stuff, he didn't even note it down when he stepped into the room and saw that you were doing it, he was much more focused on just beginning a conversation with you, he was much more focused on talking than observing.
you hum, giving him a mere glance then looking back down to the small set of items you were packing. "i'm going to visit my mother".
chenle blinks, the words coming as a small surprise to him. "why? is she alright?"
you quickly glance back up to give him a reassuring smile. "just doing a routine check up, and it's nice to visit your mother once in a while, i need to make sure she's doing well".
chenle responds with a small 'ah', watching as you continue to pack, he feels his stomach churn uncomfortably once again, if he stays in this castle any longer, he might die from the walls which seem to slowly be pushing the air out of his lungs.
"can i come?"
chenle has no idea where that came from, it's like he had no control over his own thoughts or words, he blurted that out in a moment of vulnerability, a moment of.. wanting. he can't stay here any longer, he might die. you now fully look at him and furrow your eyebrows, clearly as puzzled as chenle is by the words. "what?" you chuckle lightly, and chenle feels his face burn immediately.
"i'm sorry, i don't even know where that came from i'll g—"
"no no you can.." you pause for a moment, collecting your words. "you can tag along if you want to i just— i don't know, you can leave the castle?"
"well yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to take me with you i don't even know why i asked that in the first place".
"chenle" you say softly, and just you saying his name like that has chenle's knees feeling weak. how did he deny his feelings for you for so long when you have him feeling like this? he's almost positive you can notice how flustered he is now. "if you want to come visit her with me, you can".
chenle stares at you for what seems like years (in his eyes), contemplating whether he should take your offer. your basically holding your hand out to him, begging for him to take it, for him to intertwine his fingers with yours. how could he ever turn down such a proposition?
"i— okay".
"okay? so you'll accompany me?"
"yeah, yes yes! i will" he replies much too enthusiastically for his own liking, you seem to catch on, as you laugh at his sudden shout. if your laugh wasn't so pretty chenle would've immediately turned away and replied with some snappy rebuttal.
"nice" you whisper, finally finishing your packing. chenle watches you intently, he can't exactly speak at the moment. luckily, you speak up once again. "we have to do something, though".
"what?"
you catch chenle's puzzled expression, and you laugh once again. "a disguise, just so you don't cause an uproar while we go visit my mother".
for the first time this whole entire day, chenle lets out a small laugh, amused by the words which escape your lips. "were gonna sneak around?"
you snicker, looking down at the floor. oh you're adorable, chenle shouts it out in his head, he can't tell you face to face so he'll shout it there.
"yeah, guess you could say that".
though he's just the slightest bit skeptical, chenle trusts you, and a smile crosses his face.
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CHENLE DIDN'T REALLY THINK HE'D HAVE as much fun as he does sneaking into the village with you. well it's not really sneaking, you live here, you've grown up here, you just had to put him in some totally not suspicious cloak so that he doesn't draw attention when you make it outside of the castle. he almost fell on his face when you dragged him out of the palace gates, because of the way you dragged him, and because you started holding his hand.
chenle feels like a girl obsessing over a boy crush, just you holding his hand is enough to make him begin overthinking the whole thing in his head. according to you, you had to hold his hand to make things seem more natural, but he suspects that you're lying because of how red your face is as you try to avoid eye contact with him.
chenle has only really been to the village a few times in his whole life, though he's had his fair share of experiences here as a child, he never got to stop and observe his surroundings, much too busy trying to settle his anxiety while watching all of the people in the crowd burn holes into his head with their stares.
chenle has always been fascinated by the lives of others, whether it be the stories kun told of the urban legends village kids would spread, or the many times he begged the staff to take him on carriage rides throughout the kingdom as a child. he likes seeing situations through other people's eyes, the life of citizens who don't live as royalty seems like nothing far from the fictional stories he reads in the books in the library.
"you almost pulled off my arm, that was totally suspicious!" chenle whisper-yells, but it's not a shout of seriousness, it's playful, the beginning of a banter.
"oh i'm sorry your highness! do you need medical attention?"
chenle feigns an offensive gasp at the sarcastic comment from you, which results in nothing but a snicker from you as you nudge him with your shoulder. he caresses the back of your hand with his thumb unconsciously, ignoring his clearly heating cheeks as he performs the action.
"do you still live in the same place you grew up?"
"hm? oh yeah, we could never really afford to get another place, it's become a super comforting place for me.."
"ah, i see".
chenle admires your face for much longer than he was supposed to, and if you notice, you don't seem to care enough to comment on it.
chenle allows for his eyes to roam freely around the expanse of a town. it's a pretty place, even with how tiny it seems, he feels much more relaxed here than in the large palace he grew to know as a home, the palace was really in the middle of nowhere, no fellow citizens around for him to make connections with or whatever. this town is the clear definition of community, the kind of place where everyone knows everyone.
"oh y/n! y/n!"
chenle startles from his thoughts when a shout rings in his ears, you snap your head towards the figure, a figure chenle can tell you recognize because you give them a smile, he opts to stay silent in this interaction. "hi tao, how is ying doing?"
the man smiles brightly at you, pulling you into an abrupt hug, making your fingers slip from chenle's. you squeak as he squeezes you in his arm, but you manage a smile, resisting the urge to glare at chenle as he silently snickers at your suffering. "she's recovering well! thank you so much, i don't know how i could ever repay you!"
"there's no need to" you smile softly again, finally able to remove yourself from his crushing grip, you rub your aching arm and awkwardly chuckle. "i just enjoy helping others, i'm glad she's feeling better, tell her i said hi".
"will do! thank you so much!"
the guy gives one last smack on your shoulder before walking off, and chenle has to resist the urge to laugh loudly as you wince from the strong grip who had been squeezing you to death with that hug.
"are you enjoying my misery, your highness?"
chenle can barely contain his laugh as he looks over at you, being met with your deadpanned gaze. he looks down at the floor to stop his giggling, making you frown. "no, it was just too hilarious not to laugh at".
"uh huh, you're sooo funny".
though you were clearly irritated by chenle's laughing fit, you only softly smiled at him trying to hide his laughter. you reach over to take his hand once again, just playfully glaring at him. "yeah continue laughing at my suffering, we still have to make it to my mother's house".
chenle, again, gets jolted forward by a strong tug on his hand, but he doesn't say anything more, just snickers as he sees the pure dedication in your eyes. he smiles as he sees the look in your eye, you're just so adorable.
when you abruptly stop, chenle bumps into you, and your fingers slip from his, an action which makes him frown in just the slightest. he likes holding your hand, he has no idea why, but he does.
you begin digging through your bag for your house key, and chenle simply watches, listening to you hum the tune of a song, one you always hum the tune to whenever you find yourself bored. "here" you whisper, victorious in your search for your keys. you quickly unlock the door and gesture for chenle to follow you in with nothing but the tilt of your head, he silently steps into your childhood home, a comforting feeling in the air as he closes the door behind him.
while you drop your bag onto a nearby table and begin looking through it again, chenle slowly removes the cloak he had been wearing as he observes his surroundings.
the place is nice, small, but nice. it has a comfortable sort of air that makes chenle want to immediately relax, it's not the fanciest place, or the biggest place, but it's a home, a comfortable, quiet home. chenle would love to live here, maybe in another life, a life where he doesn't end up born into a highly respected royal family, he just gets to live like this, it's a place that seems to bring a feeling of solace.
chenle glances over at you, your eyebrows furrowed as you continue going through your bag. you seem to sense his eyes, because you glance up at him and you meet his eyes. you blink, then glance over at a door across the room. "you can go see her if you want".
chenle awkwardly chuckles as he glances at the door your eyes were on, he then glances back at you. "i— can you come with me?"
chenle just wants to stay around you.
you stare puzzled for a moment, but you don't question it, you leave your bag alone and gesture for chenle to follow you to your mother's room. chenle stays silent the whole way there, noticing the way your mood changes as you step closer to the door.
you knock on the door. "mom?"
when you open the door, you peak your head through, a small chuckle escaping your lips as you hear her say something. "yes yes i know, i'll remember to tell her, i brought a guest".
chenle slowly peaks from behind you, giving your mother a small smile. "hello" he greets softly.
your mother gasps, sitting up in her bed. "zhong chenle?"
chenle lightly chuckles, looking down at the floor, you nudge him with your shoulder. "oh my goodness, you've grown so much! come here give me a hug!"
chenle is almost surprised, he was afraid she was going to have a bad reaction to his presence, but she was much more excited to see him than he thought she would be. you push chenle into her room, motioning for him to fulfill your mothers wish.
she quickly wrapped her arms around him when he got close enough to her. her hugs are still as warm as he remembers, he almost wants to hug her forever and never let go. "how are things going these days? i wanted to go to that little parade of yours but y/n forbid me from doing so!"
"because you were vomiting all morning, i wasn't going to risk it".
she pulls away from the hug to grab both of chenle's hand, smiling softly at him. the smile reminiscent of the smiles she would share with him in the hallways of the palace when she used to work there. "you always worry so much" she raises an eyebrow at you before turning back to chenle. "how have you been these days?"
chenle smiles at her, noticing you leave the room, but too focused on answering the question from your mother to follow you. "i've been good, just a little stressed from everything happening lately".
her eyes widen again, and she nods excessively. "right! your getting married soon! how are you feeling about the whole thing?"
chenle's face falls just a little bit, but he quickly reverts back to a smile, not wanting to worry her with a random frown crossing his face. "it's all.. new, it'll take some time to get used to but i know i can get through it".
the older woman smiles at him, seemingly liking those words. "that's good, i'm glad you're still friends with y/n, he missed you".
chenle blinks, the words surprising him. "he missed me?"
your mother chuckles at the question. "yes he did, i remember watching the two of you run around the castle together as children, i was afraid the friendship wouldn't last, when i first resigned, y/n said he feared you two would drift apart".
chenle almost gasps at the information he receives. were you really worried about that? for the longest time he felt like such a bad friend because he began having no time for you as the two of you grew up, yeah that's what happens as people get older but he'd always see the flash of disappointment in your eyes when he had to be dragged away for another stupid royal meeting.
"i didn't know he felt that way, it's getting much more difficult to get him alone with everything going on".
"i heard you two are beginning to talk more, he always comes to me so giddy about it these days".
chenle is again surprised by the information he hears, a small laugh of disbelief escapes his lips at the words. "really?"
"yeah, he came freaking out over you two talking about books, books! you make him so happy, chenle".
the words strike chenle like a slap in the face, it's just so shocking to him he stands with his mouth agape for much longer than he'd like to admit. his face burns at the fact, at the idea that pops into his brain.
the idea that you might feel the same.. that you might reciprocate his feelings.
he swears smoke is going to begin pouring out of his ears from how heated his face has become.
"i'm glad i could do that, y/n is truly a blessing, i don't know what i'd do without him".
chenle thinks those must've been his truest words today, a look into what's really going on in his head, a look into how he really feels.
god it's always with you isn't it?
"it was nice seeing you again, mrs. l/n, i'm glad your recovering well".
at the word 'recovering', the older woman suddenly tenses, an anxious look in her eye as she looks away from the crown prince. "right, yes, thank you for visiting, chenle, it was nice seeing you too".
chenle smiles at your mother, nodding. "i'll leave you be now".
chenle slips his hands from hers, smiling one more time before leaving her room, gently closing the door behind him. he turns around and looks over at you, your still rummaging through your back, but chenle can tell you aren't looking for something, you seem to be trying to distract yourself.
"y/n?" chenle calls out, seemingly against his own will, because he's surprised by the sound of his own voice. you simply hum in response, not wanting to look him in the eye for some unknown reason. he quickly makes his way over to you, standing beside you and accidentally bumping your shoulders.
"is she really sick? i mean she looks fine! much finer than any sick people i've seen—"
"it's her kidneys".
you cut into chenle's sentence with a shaky tone of voice, you look over at chenle, sighing as you see the confusion cross his face. "her kidneys are failing, chenle".
chenle feels his heart drop upon hearing that, and you look away as you see his reaction to the news. "what? but how did that even happen—"
you let out a distressed sigh, gritting your teeth and closing your eyes. "she contracted lupus, right before she took that break back a few years ago, she recovered and we thought everything was fine but then she started vomiting every other day and i couldn't figure out what was wrong so we went to a doctor outside of the kingdom and.."
you look like you're about to cry, and you take in a deep breath to blink away the oncoming tears, but you persist, not wanting to break down in front of the crown prince. "she got diagnosed with chronic kidney disease, by that point she had been suffering from it for a whole five months! and what can i do? it's.."
incurable.
the word simmers into the air, it's unsaid, but both of you know what's truly going on. your both silent, none of you saying a word as silence quickly takes over the room. chenle finally takes the initiative and glances over at you, the tears brimming in your eyes threatening to fall at any moment.
still, you don't allow for yourself to become vulnerable in front of chenle, wiping the tears that haven't fallen from your eyes. "it's a lot to try and digest at once i'm just.. i'm not ready to see her go".
chenle gets it, anyone would get it, he stays silent, afraid of not being able to do the comforting as well as you do. "i'm sorry".
"there's no need to apologize, i mean— this is just how life works!"
"i hate that it works that way" chenle responds, fathers dying eyes flash in his mind, and he bites into his bottom lip so hard that it begins bleeding. god, he hates that memory, father only passed away no less than a year ago, and the image of his lifeless face still haunts chenle in his nightmares.
"yeah, but what can i do?" your clearly trying to be positive, but it's difficult for you to. "i'm just worried that one day i'll come home and she'll be gone.. i already had to go through it with dad and now— i don't know how i'll deal with it".
chenle stares at you, a small smile comes to your face as you glance back at him. chenle wants to cry just seeing you try to hold back your own tears, so he looks away from you quickly.
he then looks back at you, moving closer to you and taking your hand. "if you ever need someone to talk to, to vent to, to— yell and cry at.. i'm here".
you chuckle at the words, tears again welling up in your eyes. chenle feels you squeeze his hand, and he smiles softly at the sight of you. "really? you'll listen to my stupid ramblings?"
"yeah" chenle responds, nodding a little bit too enthusiastically, but he doesn't care. "i will, your feelings are just as important as mine, and you're my friend, it's what friends do".
you squeeze his hand, laughing softly again as you let a small tear slip down your face. "thank you, chenle".
"it's no problem, y/n".
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CHENLE IS GENUINELY GOING INSANE, AND ITS ALL because of you. he can't focus on anything but you, and it's literally driving him crazy. he has never, never in his 21 years of living on this earth ever felt so much for just one person, what is it with you? he can't even think about you without his face turning a bright shade of red, his palms easily get sweaty and his words become nothing but a jumbled mess.
chenle finds it hilarious, how he was raised to be poised and proper, never swear, never talk when you don't have to, never interrupt others, sit like this sit like that, speak like this, speak like that, but right now, he's acting like a psycho more than anything.
he's pacing around his room like he just lost his mind or something, completely distracted from everything else as his mind is focused on you and you only.
he must look crazy, hair messy, clothes in disarray, pacing back and forth as he tries to figure out if feeling like this is normal, or even allowed here.
"chenle? could you explain to me why your mother wants— oh dear".
kun walks in midway through chenle's strange breakdown thingy, and the younger isn't even paying attention to him because he's screaming into the pillow on his king sized bed. the older watches in concern, and the breath chenle lets out is a mix of weary and frustrated. "chenle? what's wrong?"
kun drops the clipboard he'd previously been holding to rush over to the younger's side, if he focuses hard enough, he swears he can see tears welling up in chenle's eyes. "chenle.."
chenle sniffles, looking down at the pillow in his lap. "i'm in love with him, kun".
kun blinks, dumbfounded. "with who?"
"with y/n! i can't— oh my god i'm so stupid!" the crown prince grabs his pillow again and lets out a well needed scream of agony, a scream that makes kun sigh as he stares at the sight before him. "i don't get it! why does he make me feel like this!? everything is so complicated and i can't even do anything about it because i get married in two months—!"
"okay okay, calm down" kun is quick to cut in, pressing a quick thumb to his cheek to wipe away the tears. "take a deep breath, talk coherently".
chenle sniffles again, taking in another breath and then exhaling, collecting himself as he tries his best to think coherently. "i don't know, kun, it's all getting to my head, i want him so bad yet i can't have him".
and just the fact makes chenle stomach drop, he wants to start sobbing once again, but he contains his tears. "it's stupid i know—"
"it's not stupid, chenle, it's totally fine to have complicated feelings about things, and people, but you'll never have closure if you don't tell him how you feel".
"but what's the point, kun?" chenle doesn't see why it would matter anyway, what would you even do when he told you how he felt? would you grimace and push him away? would you accept his confession? what would you do? it's all he can think about. "what difference does it make?"
"it gets the pressure off your back.. and, if it's any consolation for you, both you and y/n can finally come to terms with your feelings".
chenle's eyes widen at the words, they settle a new emotion on him he can't exactly explain. "what the hell do you mean by that?"
"language, your highness" kun jokingly reprimands, his tone reminiscent of his mothers scoldings whenever chenle would mess up the garden of roses on occasions. "y/n might've.. told me some things, but you'll have to ask him about that".
"that isn't fair!"
"it is! you have to ask him yourself, it's the only way to get yourself in order!"
chenle deadpans at his older friend, but kun just snickers at his expression, lightly shoving his shoulder. "don't look at me like that, you know i'm right".
chenle would roll his eyes, but kun does have a point. "maybe i'll listen to you.."
"you should".
chenle has to resist the urge to roll his eyes at that response too.
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CHENLE THINKS YOU LOOK EXCEPTIONALLY PRETTY when you read. it's not that you're not usually exceptionally pretty, it's just that he enjoys admiring your profile as you read, eyes narrowed, eyebrows furrowed, lips occasionally parting in shock, he could stare for hours. he might look creepy on a few certain occasions, but you rarely ever notice.
chenle doesn't know how many times the two of you have been up together late in the night, just sitting in the library talking about literature. he doesn't even remember what your talking about most of the time, but he loves talking to you about bullshit pertaining to the books your both into.
for the both of you, books are sort of an escape in a way. chenle enjoys indulging himself in worlds of fiction to distract himself from his mess of a life, and you enjoy indulging yourself in messy love stories with terrible endings to distract yourself from your own issues in life.
it's all truly a coping mechanism for you two.
you both are a coping mechanism for each other, chenle finds it all simpler around you, and you feel as if you don't have to be so professional around him anymore.
chenle doesn't sleep much these days, but that's because he's spending most of his nights in the library with you. he likes listening to you talk, the way you simply piece together your words is amazing.
"and it was so sad! i cried my eyes out for weeks after reading that!"
chenle snickers at your whining, and you caress the material of the book in your hands. "i mean.. the book is literally called, they both die in the end".
"i know! i know! but that doesn't mean it's still not sad" you frown, recalling the ending of the book you were rambling about.
you quickly stop your pouting and make your way over to another part of the library, the section including romance books. chenle doesn't follow you, but his eyes surely do, he makes sure to keep them trained on you, as if you'd disappear if he even looked away from you for just a moment.
"do you want any more recommendations? or..?"
"oh, no no no" chenle shakes his head. "i just—" he pauses, having no idea how to say the words without sounding like some weirdo who totally has a crush on you.
well he is a weirdo who totally has a crush on you, how hypocritical.
"i like listening to you talk".
you blink at his words, noticeably flustered at the way they came out. chenle takes your silence as you judging him, so he's quick to chuckle awkwardly and begin waving dismissing hands. "i didn't mean to say that i know it was weird and stuff—!"
"no no! it wasn't weird i'm just.. i'm not used to being told things like that, you're so unique with your words and i never know how to respond to them".
"oh.."
"yeah".
you click your tongue, and chenle simply stares. oh you affect him so much without doing anything, what is up with you? his ears are burning, he might collapse at the very moment.
what was that kun said again? you'll never get any closure if you don't just tell him how you feel. yeah, he isn't sure if he'll be able to do it.
"can i show you something?"
chenle's breath hitches against his will, he has no idea why he's nervous, why the hell is he nervous? it's just you, it's you, his friend since he was a child, his oldest friend, you probably know him better than he thinks you do.
you wouldn't do anything bad.
"is it terrible?" he raises an eyebrow, and you laugh. your laughter is pretty, so pretty. "well? is it?"
"no, just come here" you beckon chenle over to you with your hand, a hand he almost shies away from, but he can't shy away from you, so he steps closer, following you. he feels like a mind controlled puppet, your a magnet attracting him closer and closer until he presses into you.
you smile as you see chenle in your peripheral vision, your fiddling with something in your fingers. chenle furrows his eyebrows, having no idea what it is, he tries to look over your shoulder, but you quickly block his eyesight, much to his own dismay. "why are you hiding?"
"i'm not hiding! be patient, your highness".
your teasing tone of voice doesn't make it past chenle, but he doesn't stay anything, just keeps his mouth shut. you hum as you turn back to chenle, still fiddling with your fingers as you smile at the crown prince, who is puzzled by what you're doing exactly.
you then open your palm, extending it forward towards chenle, and his eyes widen at what he sees.
"what is..?"
"we— um.. remember that friendship bracelet i made for you when we were ten? the one you broke?"
chenle laughs lightly, his face burning. "yes i remember.."
"well, i kept mine, and because were.. you know, friends again, i remade it for you, if you want it of course!"
chenle stares at you, then he stares at the bracelet in your hand, and he can't resist the urge to smile. you're absolutely adorable, sweet, chenle really really really likes you. his silence makes you anxious, and you want to begin picking your fingers until they bleed.
chenle must realize it, because he immediately laughs, a hearty laugh, a lovely laugh. "y/n, i love it, it's so.. cute i can't— how long did it take you to make this?"
"well i was thinking about it for a while and i just barely finished this last night i just.. i don't know, i missed you, a lot" you say, your words a vomit of adoration, oh you're so adorable. "it was a brash decision really".
"you're so—"—cute—"sweet, really".
you again step closer to chenle, silently asking to have his wrist with the extension of your hand. he doesn't even think before placing his hand into yours, allowing for you to slip the bracelet onto his wrist. it fits perfectly. of course it does, chenle can barely stifle his giggle.
he feels so giddy.
you don't let go of his hand, and chenle doesn't move his hand either. he stares at the indirect act of affection, his hand gently placed upon your palm, a palm that you aren't moving. what are you two doing? what the hell is going on?
"y/n" chenle calls out, his voice barely elevated as he avoids eye contact with you. "what is.. what are we doing?"
"i don't know" you mutter, blinking. you don't even think before taking your free hand and intertwining it with chenle's other free hand, now your holding both of his hands, an action that has chenle's face reddening to amazing heights. "your hands are warm".
chenle simply looks away, basking in the feeling of your fingers laced with his. he likes holding your hand, it just feels right, your fingers intertwined with his, your hands placed on his.
"yours are cold".
the words are nothing but your observations of each other whispered into the air. it's a strangely intimate moment, you two are just staring at each other in the library, your short breaths can be heard in the silence of the huge room around you.
you sink your teeth into your bottom lip, then stare at chenle's. chenle blinks, he sees you, he sees what you're doing, but it doesn't seem like you're trying to be slick, you don't care, you are unashamed in your decision.
he isn't really sure how to feel about that.
you lean closer, much closer than chenle thinks he could ever handle. you give a small smile, and chenle wants to faint. he's holding your hands, your leaning close to him, and you look you want to kiss him.
and he wants to kiss you.
oh he wants to do it so bad.
"may i?" you ask, but you aren't looking chenle in the eyes, your staring directly at his lips. chenle almost chokes on his spit, are you really asking him if you can kiss him? do you really like him as much as he likes you? is he dreaming?
he stares like an idiot for so long that he almost looks frozen.
chenle nods wordlessly, but that's not good enough of an answer for you.
"verbal consent, chenle".
chenle wants to pull you into a kiss by force right now.
"yes! yes, you may".
you note his enthusiasm, enthusiasm that makes his face redden, he looks away from you, clearly embarrassed.
you chuckle silently, letting go of his left hand to take his jaw and turn him back towards you. then, you lean forward and press a kiss to his lips.
it's short, sweet, and ends in pretty much two seconds.
your cheeks are dusted red, and you immediately look away from chenle upon finishing your action. "that was stupid, right? i'm sorry! i don't know why i did that i jus—"
chenle doesn't let you finish, he grabs the back of your neck and smashes your lips together. you let out a small squeak of surprise, clearly not expecting the action, but you quickly relax into the kiss, sighing softly as you let an arm wrap around his waist, pulling him closer with your hand on his back.
it's.. nice, it feels right, chenle is relaxed. his heart isn't pounding uncomfortably, he doesn't feel that anxious pit in his stomach, his chest isn't tight, he feels like he can breath (ironic, really), and he doesn't want to burst into tears at his circumstances.
he feels good, he feels content.
god, it's always with you isn't it?
"wait wait, hold on" you pull away for air, pressing your forehead against chenle's as you gather your words. you chuckle awkwardly, looking down at the floor instead of at the crown prince in front of you. "sorry, i don't know how to feel about this".
chenle blinks up at you, and all you can see are his pretty eyes staring at you. you fumble through your speech, trying your best to be coherent even with the way he was staring. "i'm just.. i don't know, i have to check up on my heart levels and shit—"
chenle gasps loudly. "language, y/nie".
"you can't just say that after you literally took away my breath you.." you stop in your speech, snickering at the way you're acting, the red on your cheeks doesn't disappear, but chenle thinks he likes it that way.
"y/n" you look up as chenle calls your name again, now completely focused on him. "i.. i don't really know how to say this but i— i like you, okay? like a lot, not even just that i'm in love with you! it's.. complicated".
wow, so much for a smooth confession, chenle.
chenle narrows his eyes at the voice in his mind, it sounds like.. you?
you freeze at the confession, your whole body paralyzed as you try your best to process the words in your head.
"oh".
chenle can't tell how you feel by your tone of voice, but to him, it doesn't sound good.
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CHENLE USED TO BE AFRAID OF ASKING HIS FATHER certain questions. he was unpredictable in the sense that chenle never knew how he'd react if he asked him a question as simple as what 1+1 was. when father was alive, chenle feared him, not because he was physically violent or anything, but because he was intimidating. the air temperature would lower whenever he stepped into the room, and the way his voice boomed when he talked was enough to have chenle shivering for weeks.
"father, may i ask you a question?"
"is it a stupid question?"
at thirteen years old, chenle was still as fearful of his father as he was back when he was seven, and he almost wanted to cry the moment his father responded to his question with another question. he swallowed his own spit, a feeling of anxiety immediately settling onto him. "well— i'm not sure.."
his fathers shoulders relaxed, and he hummed. "what is it, chenle?"
"why do i have to get married?"
the question was much more abrupt than chenle wanted it to be, and he clamped his mouth shut as soon as the words escaped his lips. his father stayed silent at the question, which didn't lessen his worries, it worried him much more than it should've.
his father then chuckled, he chuckled, and chenle almost let out a gasp upon seeing the sight. when was the last time he'd seen that happen? the sight was truly one to behold, he was amused, amused!!
"why are you so curious about that? you're way too young to be interested in stuff like marriage".
"i'm not that interested i just— i heard mother say something about it and i.. i don't know! i just want an answer".
his father turned back to him, an unintelligible expression on his face that chenle still doesn't understand even to this day. "let me ask you a question, chenle, do you want to get married?"
the question struck chenle as odd, but judging by his father's smile in the moment, the question was very much needed. the thirteen year old prince blinked, puzzled, but he didn't let the question linger in the air for too long, afraid of upsetting his father with his silence.
"maybe, in the future, when the time is right, with someone who i like, and know is a good.. person to me".
"person?"
chenle nodded, wordless as he tried his best not to shrink under his father's gaze.
"ah, i see".
chenle had no idea where he was trying to go with that question and statement.
"what kind of person?"
chenle was once again speechless at the question, he allowed for his eyes to roam around the room as he scoured his brain for an answer to his father's question. then, he spotted his answer, it was you, giggling with kun about a dumb joke as your mother rummaged through her work bag for something.
you caught his eye in the moment, smiling the sight of him as you waved, mouthing a small hi from where you were across the room.
chenle giggled at the sight, waving as well as he returned your greeting.
unfortunately for him, father noticed everything.
"oh? someone like y/n?"
chenle immediately snapped his head towards his father, beginning to sputter at the assertion from him. "y/n? what do you mean by that?"
his father merely glanced over at you, his lips unconsciously quirking up into a smile. "you seem to like y/n, the two of you are friends right?"
"yes, yeah we are".
"huh" his father clicked his tongue. "if you ever do get to decide who you want to marry in the future, let it be someone like him".
chenle choked on his spit, he had no idea how to respond to that. the words have stuck with him forever, even after father's death, even after his marriage to yinuo was confirmed, the words ring in his head whenever chenle does as much as look at you anymore.
it's been a week, a week, a whole entire seven days, and you have been avoiding chenle like the plague. literally. you see him in the halls and make a break for the nearest door, you catch his eyes randomly and you immediately look away. you don't smile, you don't stop to make small talk, you just turn your back and run away.
did he do something wrong? did you really not return his feelings? (no! that can't be true! why would you kiss him back if you didn't feel at least something for him?). chenle has no idea why you're suddenly avoiding him, but you are, and he has to figure out why.
so, when chenle finishes having a totally fun conversation with his mother, he makes a beeline towards your office, he knows your there, because you aren't anywhere else during the day usually. you don't visit your mother on tuesdays, chenle knows that very well.
he stops in front of the door of your office, a sudden anxious feeling taking over him. he raises his fist to knock, but then lets it fall, he instead turns the knob and opens the door to your office.
you don't perk up immediately at the sound of the door opening, mainly because your back is turned and your focused on cleaning up a rubbing alcohol spill. chenle doesn't say anything, the silence in the room practically swallowing him whole.
you still don't look back, simply humming. "did you leave something here, kun? are you going to nag me about cuts again?"
chenle keeps silent.
when you finally do turn back to look at chenle, expecting kun, you pause, an unreadable expression crossing your face. you clear your throat, smiling awkwardly as you tucked your hair behind your ear. "hi, your highness".
chenle's jaw clenches, what's with the sudden switch up? why aren't you calling him by his name anymore?
"hi, y/n".
another uncomfortable silence takes over the room, and chenle wants to die in that very moment. there's no playful banter, there's no snickering, you two aren't talking, this is one of the strangest things to ever happen to the both of you in your whole entire friendship.
you two always talk, even if it's just small talk, this random silence makes chenle anxious.
"did i do something wrong?"
judging by your reaction, that wasn't the question to ask. you simply chuckle, going back over to the spilled rubbing alcohol and finishing up with your business. "no".
"so what happened?"
"nothing happened".
"it doesn't seem that way, you've been avoiding me ever since.." chenle looks down at the floor, picking at his nails as he tries not to stare at you. "you know".
you hum, finally turning back to chenle again with the intention of making eye contact. chenle looks over at you, but not directly in your eyes, just at your face. "we can't, chenle".
"what?"
"we can't be.. we just can't, chenle".
chenle's eyebrows furrow. "you could at least elaborate on that".
"you know what i'm talking about, chenle" you grit your teeth, but you aren't frustrated by chenle, no, you seem frustrated by yourself. "you're getting married soon and i'm.. i'm nothing like you, this isn't right—"
"what makes you think that?" chenle cuts in, what is wrong with you? what the hell is wrong with you? is that really what you think? he's about to kill you. "are you embarrassed?"
"embarrassed? what? no! no! i'm literally the one who offered to kiss you i just.." you cover your face with your hand, letting a distressed groan escape your lips. "i don't want to be the reason everything goes wrong for you".
"is that really how you feel? is that really how you think i feel..?"
"chenle" you begin softly, your tone of voice making chenle's stomach flip. you close your eyes and clasping your own hands together. "i do like you too, i— love you, even, but we just can't be together".
oh. that's what it's about.
chenle sucks in a breath, he wants to shout at you, not because your making him mad, but because your right, and he knows it. he wants— no, he needs to break something, throw something against the wall in frustration, break a glass window. just anything to keep himself from having a full on mental breakdown from your very words.
"of course you would say that".
you scoff at his petty tone, but you sound more disappointed than frustrated. "your acting like i'm doing this on purpose, if things were different then maybe—"
"why can't we make it work now? huh? why does it have to be if things were different?"
"because you're getting married chenle! you— you're going to become king and i don't want to hold this over your head".
"you're so.. stupid! how is that all you've gotten from this situation?" now chenle is getting desperate, he wants you to change your mind, even if he knows it's unlikely that will actually ever happen. "you're not holding anything over my head and you're not going to make anything go wrong, i don't get it!"
"i'm being realistic.."
"how is that realistic?"
"because it's better than potentially losing my job! chenle! i have to take care of my mother, i can't afford to risk my position because someone thinks you're cheating on your fiancée with me".
your words sting, but they don't sting chenle, they sting you. your chest hurts, so you simply shake your head, sighing in defeat. your arms drop to your side and you turn away from chenle, gritting your teeth.
all chenle can do is give you a look of sympathy. "y/n—"
"chenle, leave it alone" you snap, yet you don't come off as annoyed, more upset. "i'd prefer if you'd leave".
you really just need to think, you just need to peacefully gather your thoughts without chenle in the room.
chenle wants to argue with you, to walk forward and take you by your arm, to grab you by your face and kiss you senselessly whilst telling you that he doesn't care about what anyone thinks.
but chenle obeys your wish, turning around and leaving the room.
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KUN KNOWS CHENLE ALL TOO WELL AT THIS point that the younger is convinced that he's a mind reader. from his narrowed eyes to his silent snickers, he can always tell what chenle's feeling before chenle himself even does. back when they were younger, chenle assumed kun had to be some sort of supernatural being, possessing some kind of telepathic power or something, but as he's grown up, he realizes the older is just that observent.
case in point: chenle's current attitude.
"why do you keep sulking? they teach you not to do that at like.. age ten?"
kun's comment doesn't receive it's usual rebuttal from chenle, it simply gets silence, silence that kun hums at. he resists the urge to roll his eyes, standing beside the stubborn crown prince. "okay, tell me what happened".
"what?"
"there's no use in pretending that you don't know what i'm talking about, chenle, what happened?"
kun has always been assertive in this sense, chenle finds his power to be absolutely shocking. maybe, in another universe, their roles are reversed, kun would make a better ruler than chenle ever could anyway.
"i'm an idiot, kun".
the statement results in kun letting out a strange sound, a sound of complete confusion. he then raises an eyebrow, one that makes chenle want to dig a hole and die in it forever. "what is that supposed to mean?"
chenle scowls, covering his face with his hands as he resists the urge to claw his own eyes out. he lets out a groan as your face flashes in his mind, oh he is so stupid, why couldn't he just be fearless? why does he have to be such a coward?
why couldn't he be brave for you?
"i— god, i confessed to y/n but i even managed to mess that up and now we're on bad terms.."
kun goes through seven expression changes as he processes the information. "what? what are you saying?"
"he just told me the situation like how it is" he grits his teeth, looking away from the older. "we can't be together no matter how much we want to, i'm getting married and he can't risk losing his job and.. i have to go through with the marriage".
"who says that?"
"my mother, kun" chenle sighs, feeling as if he just got punched in the gut. "i don't want to put too much on her shoulders, a marriage like this has been planned for me for who knows how long and she's clearly not her best considering father didn't pass that long ago and.." a groan leaves his lips, a sour taste in his mouth. "this will make her happy, i just want her to be happy".
kun stares in silence, clicking his tongue. "have you ever tried to prioritize your happiness?"
chenle sighs. "we're not starting this again kun—"
"no, we are going to start this again, you have to think about if you're happy before ever going through with a marriage, marriage is a legally binding thing! you're gonna be in a union with this woman until you die! are you really happy with that?"
chenle opens his mouth to speak again, but it falls shut. he can't really respond to that. 
all of his life he grew to believe that he'd eventually get used to arranged marriages and the idea of having to warm up to his partner. all royalty have to do it, it's just apart of the process. heck, chenle is the result of an arranged marriage himself, why would he ever challenge it when it was always the most likely outcome?
it's different because it's you. chenle can't possibly think about going through this marriage at all now that he's realized how he truly feels for you, it's not right, he shouldn't, he can't.
you're a terrible liar, chenle. at the end of the day, you will go through with this marriage, it's all too risky to not.
"i.. no, i'm not" chenle finally responds, his voice a mix of disgusted and frustrated. "i just— i always thought it was supposed to be this way, i don't want to just.. do it differently".
"well why not?"
"because this is for the good of my future, for yinuo, for my mother, to test if i can live up to the ruler my father was".
chenle bites his inner cheek, suddenly feeling nauseous. he closes his eyes, not wanting to face kun's gaze.
the older simply sighs. "i can't make you do anything you don't want to, chenle, but don't make a decision you know is going to leave you unhappy, i'd hate for you to be stuck in an uncomfortable position for the rest of your life".
and with that, kun turns and walks out of the room. chenle doesn't open his eyes until he knows kun has left the room.
the words ring in his head all day.
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WHEN CHENLE WAS ELEVEN, YOU TAUGHT HIM about the several constellations that appear in the night sky. you taught him their names, how they form, what they represented, and your thoughts on them. you always had a thing for those luminous balls of gas in the sky, something about them always left you so intrigued, waiting for the next time they would show up so you could drag chenle out in the middle of the night to see them with you.
tonight, andromeda is in the sky.
it's never been a favorite of yours, more one of chenle's favorites, but he knows you'll be outside, staring at the aligned stars in the sky. he takes kun's words into account, and wishes his mother a good night before turning on his heel to make his way towards a familiar place of comfort.
the rose garden, of course.
the best thing about the rose garden is that it has the cool glass roof you can see the sky through. it was an addition that was only made a few years ago, one last hurrah for mrs. qian before her eventual retirement.
chenle spent a lot of time reading about constellations, all the information he learned he would relay to you. he loved seeing how interested you were in the information you already didn't know, your eyes would widen comically and then they would light up.
constellations have always been special to me, you told chenle once. they remind me of dad, he's the one who taught me about them, i like to think that he's now become apart of cygnus.
chenle was surprised by your way of grieving, but he couldn't exactly blame you. you liked to think your father became one with the stars, and you'd always be especially excited when cygnus appeared in the sky.
when chenle steps into the rose garden, he isn't surprised to see you already there, lips parted in surprise as you stare up at the sky through the glass rooftop. you don't notice him immediately, but when you do, you smile. "hi".
chenle bites down on his bottom lip, but he steps forward anyway. "hi".
you put your head down, then turn to chenle with an unreadable expression on your face. "i missed you".
chenle allows for himself to lightly chuckle at the fact. "you're the one whose been ignoring me all this time".
your shoulder slump, a small sigh leaving your lips as you rock back and forth on your heels. "i do realize that was pretty.. rude of me, i just needed time to think, i was probably going to have a breakdown if i didn't collect my thoughts".
chenle nods, pressing his lips together in a thin line. an uncomfortable silence passes through the air in the room, and you glance up again to examine andromeda once again.
"i'm sorry".
you snap your head over at chenle. "for what?"
"for yelling, and for calling you stupid" chenle looks away from you, ashamed of himself. "you were just being realistic and i was.. i wasn't thinking clearly, like an idiot".
"don't say that" your voice is so soft, it probably feels like clouds. "i get where you're coming from, just saying those words made me sick.." you pinch the bridge of her nose, and chenle can't stop his head from turning so that he can stare at you. oh your side profile is so pretty, chenle could admire it for hours. "i'm sorry, chenle, you probably felt like your feelings didn't matter in the moment and that was so terrible of me to do, romantic feelings or not, you're my friend, and i care about how you feel, i shouldn't have dismissed you like that".
chenle can't resist the urge to smile, his lips turn up much too quickly, but of course they do, because it's you, it's always with you. chenle has never felt such a way for another human being in his life, but he guesses your whole relationship must've been planned by the universe or something.
"you're so.. stupid" chenle reiterates, but it's said much more affectionately than the last time. "you have always considered my feelings, you are literally one of the sweetest people i know, don't apologize for thinking about yourself for once, your job is much more important than our.. relationship thing".
you pause at the words, shaking your head as a small snicker falls from your lips. "i love you, chenle".
oh.
if chenle didn't have any self control, he would've done a trust fall right then and there. he wants to faint onto the floor and never get up. hearing the words from you makes him exceptionally giddy, you make him happy, you make him so happy, oh chenle is so glad to have you in his life.
happy ending or not, at least he finally knows what you feel for him.
"i love you too" he whispers, his voice getting stuck in his throat, the shock doesn't wear off that quickly, unfortunately. you reach over for his hands, intertwining your fingers with his. it feels so right, chenle could just be like this forever, and everything would be fine.
as long as he's with you, everything will be fine.
you hum at the response, a red color dusting your cheeks. you could just barely stifle your giggle, and it's simply amazing to chenle. you're just as giddy about him as he is about you.
oh chenle loves you so much.
you look up at the sky once again, eyes lighting up at the sight of the aligned stars. "andromeda has always been your favorite, right?"
chenle wants to faint, you remembered. "yeah".
you smile, your smile is beautiful.
you're a desperate man, zhong chenle.
he can't exactly disagree with that.
"you have good taste".
"you flatter me too much".
you finally looks back down, snickering as you squeeze chenle's hands. you lean forward and press a kiss to chenle's lips, it's simply a peck, but chenle loves it. "you deserve it".
chenle wants to squeal like a teenage girl with a crush, you're so cute, you're so adorable, he loves you, he loves you so much.
maybe you can't make it work now, not in this universe at least, but there could be another universe, another timeline where it does work, where it doesn't have to end like this.
chenle is upset it can't be this universe, but this is just how life works. knowing that he can't change his fate, knowing that he will go through with this marriage, knowing that he probably has no true shot with you is all upsetting, but he'll learn how to deal with it, at least you're still by his side.
at least your still in his life, he's grateful for that.
and when he sees you giggle once again, his heart warms. as long as you're happy, that's all that matters.
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requested?: no genre: established relationship, smut, office AU pairings: choi seungcheol x afab!reader, kim mingyu x platonic!reader (not mentioned that much) warning(s): smut, daddy kink, thigh riding, not proof read, slight mention of cheol pushing reader underneath his desk, rough smut, unprotected sex (stay safe), spanking, hair pulling, lmk if i missed anything;) summary: 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘰 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘴 𝘣𝘺 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘰𝘭'𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘫𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘴 word count: 2.1k a/n: hi guys, im back, just decided to write a small smut for seungcheol, i got kinda carried away with this one lol, enjoy! xoxo
you were about to go out with mingyu on a night out, but before you went, you wanted to say goodbye to cheol. he was working, which was barely a surprise for you anymore. he was always working late, he barely ever had time for you anymore. he spent more time yelling at his colleagues on the phone then he ever did with you, barely even have time to speak to you. you walked into his office, your hips swaying with each step you took.
you were wearing a short red dress, barely passing your mid thigh. it hugged your hips and curves perfectly, showing off your flawless body. there was a split spaghetti strap, showing cleavage but not too much, and almost an open back, but again, not too much. your heels had red bottoms, painted all black. you and mingyu were going to go clubbing, so your outfit made sense, or at least to you. in colour, it was a gorgeous wine red, cheol’s favourite colour, small ripples in the fabric. as you walked, it rode slightly upwards, sitting just beneath your ass. the fabric was gorgeous and smooth, giving it a more sophisticated look, but still as slutty as you needed it to be, to be eye catching enough to make cheol jealous.
you knocked on his door before stepping in, almost soundlessly
“hi cheol,” you smiled at the man in front of you innocently. he took in your form, making sure his eyes kissed every inch of your body before they landed on your cleavage point. “i’m gonna head out now, i should be back later, I dunno when,” you shrug shamelessly, turning around to walk out of the office.
“woah, woah, woah. where do you think you’re going dressed like that, princess?” he drawled, staring at your ass as you turned away from him
“you don’t like it?” you spun back around, a frown splayed across your face.
there was barely anyone left in the office now, but people were still working. your plan was working as far as you were concerned.
“like it?” cheol took a step out from behind the desk that was, just about, covering his lower half, showing you his hardened length stretching his briefs, “oh no, princess i love it” he grinned, grabbing your bare elbows and caressing them slightly.
“really?” you spoke sweetly, batting your eyelashes at his comment
“yes, really. i would just like to know where the fuck you are going dressed like the needy little whore you are” he almost growled, moving his hands up your arms and back down again, grabbing your hips to pull you flush against him, making sure you feel his hardened dick.
you tried to rub your thighs together to get at least a bit of friction to relieve the growing need in between your legs, he smirked as he felt you move against his leg.
“fuck, keep moving against me like that and i might have to bend you over my desk and show you how much of a dirty little slut you’re being, rubbing up against me like this? what would mingyu say if you were a little late? do you think he would care all that much if i fucked you right here in my office?” cheol husked in your ear, you whimpered in response.
he smirked as he picked you up, wrapping his arms around your thighs. he sat back comfortably in his big office chair, sitting you down so one leg was either side of his right thigh, he held your hips, squeezing the warm soft flesh.
“you are gonna sit right here and rub your pretty little pussy against my thigh until you cum over and over again and your begging me to stop baby” he ordered, you nodded in response. cheol harshly grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him “words, princess, use your words” he cooed
“okay daddy, i’ll be good, I swear” you beg, rocking your hips against his thigh, moaning and throwing your head back at the delicious feeling of his thigh against your dripping core. your panties were now soaked from the way you had been so aroused earlier on.
cheol places a hand over your mouth in order to keep your moans muffled and quiet, after all, you couldn’t afford anyone walking in and seeing you two like this. cheol moved your dress further up your ass, stopping it just above your hips and where your sides dipped in. he reached his hand down to your pussy and moved your panties to the side, so that now your bare clit was rubbing harshly against his briefs, giving you the best amount of pleasure.
you swayed your hips against his thigh, grasping at his shoulders and letting your nails dig into them through the fabric of his rolled up sleeves. it turned you on to see your boyfriend like this, his veiny arms digging into your hips, guiding your movements against him. then, you got an idea, you wanted to pleasure him too, so you moved your right hand down to between his legs to palm his length through his pants, keeping on with your movements.
“fuck, honey, that’s right, make daddy feel so good” he groans out, throwing his head back to rest on his chair.
the moan you let out would have been painfully loud if you didn’t have cheol’s hand covering your mouth as tightly as he was. you were seeing stars as you felt yourself come nearer and nearer you high.
“fuck, daddy, gonna cum” you whimpered out through his hand
“good girl, so am i, gonna cum with me? yeah?” he groaned. he sounded sinful but angelic at the same time.
you let everything go as  you came, your nails digging harshly into cheol’s shoulders. He held you as you shook, slowly coming down from your high.
suddenly, you both heard someone come near the office, the person’s footsteps becoming louder as they neared the door. cheol quickly moved you into a standing position and shoved you down onto the floor, you know he didn’t mean to be harsh. you were now curled underneath his desk as the person knocked at the door. cheol’s chair wasn’t that far away.
you could reach your hand out to his lap without the other person being able to see as they spoke about work, so that’s what you did. you wanted to tease cheol, besides, he looked so hot talking to someone about his work. he always did when he was talking to you about all of the shitty things that happened at his work that day.
you palmed him through his briefs again, feeling him grow hard once again. he glanced down at you, giving you a small warning look before looking back up to continue the conversation with his colleague.
not long later, his colleague left, and you could tell that cheol was close to coming again. he closed his eyes and let out a small breath. grabbing your hand and stilling your movements with it. he gently pulled you from underneath the desk and up to a standing position, he came up with you, towering over your smaller figure.
“did i not tell you to be good? hm?” he cooes
“i’m sorry daddy, i really am” you beg
“just wait until i fuck you dumb like the little slut you are honey, turn around” he ordered, you did as he said, turning around so that your ass was facing him. you felt him press flush up against your ass, his hardened dick pressing into the soft flesh. “such an obedient girl when you want to be, take your panties off” again, you do as he says, he nods “good fucking girl, see, its not that hard to be good is it now?” he husks in your ear, you shake your head.
his hand grabs your chin roughly.
“what did i say about using your words honey, use them” he growls
“i’m sorry daddy, i can be good, i promise”  you whimper, he lets go of your chin
“that’s what i thought, good girl, next time i wont be so nice about it. now bend over so i can see that pretty little pussy of yours”
“yes daddy” you say, doing as he says and bending yourself over, placing your upper half on the desk you were just underneath, giving a handjob to your sexy boyfriend
“such a good fucking girl” he groans, you yelp as a harsh slap lands itself on your ass
you feel another and another until he eventually stops, smiling down at you and pulling down his pants. he pumps himself a few times before pressing his hardened tip to your entrance, precum and the cum from not long ago sticking to his large dick.
he teases you as he pushes himself into you agonizingly slowly, but eventually he was fully inside of you. before you knew it, his tie was off, and he was shoving his fingers in your mouth to open it. he tied the tie around the back of your head, it was in your mouth, acting like a gag.
you moaned as you felt him start to move, pulling almost entirely out of you before slamming right the way back into you harshly. he snapped his hips faster and faster as he grabbed both of your hands, pulling them above your head, taking you from the behind.
“i bet you fucking like this don’t you, you slut? having daddy take you from the behind as punishment for your actions, being so needy that you couldn’t wait a few more hours for me to fuck you dumb like the little whore you are. so fucking needy huh?” he drawls out into your ear, you moan out in response, too fucked out to respond “aw, look at my poor baby, too fucked out to respond to a simple question daddy asks you, huh?” you nod in response “yeah? well maybe i’ll just have to fuck you harder so you can’t respond to anyone for the rest of the night, yeah? how do you think everyone would feel about that? my girl being too fucked out by her own boyfriend to answer a question they ask her huh?” he starts pounding into you faster and a lot more harder, making sure his massive cock hits the spot deep inside of you that makes you feel pure ecstasy and see a ton of stars clouding your vision. he holds your wrists above your head with one of his hands, while the other grabbed a handful of your hair and snapping your head back harshly, you moaned out loudly in response, making cheol grin widely.
the only sound that could be heard bouncing off of the office walls was skin against skin and your wetness taking his cock perfectly, fitting him snug inside of you as you clenched around his dick.
“look at you, taking my dick so fucking well, huh? maybe we should do this more often, what do you think?”
“yes daddy, please, gonna cum” you whined out pathetically, your voice being muffled slightly by the tie.
“you can cum since you’ve been such a good girl and taken daddy’s cock like the good little slut you are” he groans out, throwing his head back.
you cum harder than before, your pussy clenching around cheol’s dick, your body spasming from the intensity of your orgasm. he came not long after, pulling out and replacing his dick with his fingers to push his warm seed back inside of you.
“here’s what you’re gonna do” he pulls you up and turns you around so that you are now sat on top of his desk, “you, are gonna go out with mingyu, with my cum buried inside of you, and if you manage to keep all of it inside of you, i’ll reward you later. sound good?” he says as he unties the tie from your mouth and pulls your panties back up, pulling your dress down to cover yourself. he had already gotten himself redressed.
“yes daddy” you mutter under your breath, he smiles and lifts your chin up to look at him
“good, now go and doll yourself up again, and have fun. i’ll send you some money, okay?” he pecks your nose
“you don’t have to-“ you try to protest
“i want to, princess, now go” he pecks your lips before getting you to stand up.
you make your way over to the door, but just as you leave, you feel a playful slap on your ass again
“cheol!” you almost screech
“i couldn’t help myself” he shrugs, wrapping his arms around your shoulders “ass looks so good in that dress” he shoves his face into your neck
“i know” you smile cheekily
“damn princess, your ego is bigger than my dick” he brings his head back up to look you in the eyes
“well now it just got even bigger” you smrik
“so did my dick” he says sincerely
“choi seuncheol!”
155 notes · View notes
stubz · 1 month
Text
"...Oh fudge." Max mutters
"What?" Kim asks helping a youngling put on their shoes
"Lux is gonna blow a gasket. Get the report ready." Max mumbles sprinting over to the Irascor watching the scene unfold before him.
Gylka was playing next to Lux when his little tail accidently knocked over the bigger youngling's fort. The apex predator's face slowly turned purple with rage before he roared and leaped towards Gylka.
"LUX!" Max shouts just as he catches the ape mid jump. Twirling he sits down on the ground hard and immediately traps the youngling in a bear hug, pressing Lux's back firmly to his chest.
"HE BROKE IT! HE BROKE MY FORT! HE BROOOKE IT!!" screams Lux clawing at Max's arms trying to break free and grab the other youngling.
"I saw the whole thing Lux, it was an accident." Grunts the human, wincing as the youngling's claws dig into his arms
The youngling ignores Max, screaming and roaring at Gylka who is carried away by a cooing Kim, soothing the frightened child.
.
Minutes pass and the other younglings watch from a safe distance Lux thrashing and biting their other teacher.
"Lux, it's okay it was an accident." Nova, a small tighalax, creeps forward trying to calm her fellow classmate.
"We can build a new fort-"
"Woah there!" Kim yelps swinging the feline like youngling by the scruff away from Lux's swiping claws.
"Lux!" scolds Max.
"Let's, uh, give Lux and Max some space alright kids?" Kim says ushering the kids away. 'Call parents?' she mouths
'Just report it' he mouths back
..
Max has to restrain Lux till his parents come, which after the time the Captain came to pick up Nova.
"Papa!" she squeals leaping into his arms purring.
"...Max...Lux." he awkwardly greets the human on the ground bear hugging the hissing apex.
"Heya Captain!" Max grins, wincing as Lux thrashes against Max for the thousandth time.
"Lux got mad cause Gylka accidently broke their fort but it was an accident! And Gylka said sorry." Nova said looking pointedly at Lux.
"He broke it!" Lux screams
"...is this the first time this has happened?"
"...no."
"Max...if you need help ask me. You don't have to suck it up." Captain mutters glancing at the youngling in the human's arms.
"...really? You can...do that?"
"If its a problem, which it looks like it is, and you have proof of this happening 3 or more times then absolutely."
"Lux your parents are here!" Nova shouts looking at the Irascor couple.
"...so what'll it be?"
"...please help." the human sighs.
...
"So its official, Lux is gone, transferring to a centre that's specialized in caring for kids who need more one-on-one care like them." Kim sighs cracking open a iced tea.
"Is it bad I'm happy?" Max mutters fiddling with the bandaids on his arms.
"Listen, Lux needs attention and care that we just can't give. We're not trained for that. Also the parents kinda sucked." she hands him a coke
"Yeah...man I'm happy the Captain did that."
"I'm happy Nova so brutally told the truth to Lux' parents, did you see their faces? Priceless." Kim laughs remembering how eagerly the feline told the parents all of the thing Lux did when he got too upset.
"No one's more brutal in truth telling than a child." Max grins
"She's the reason why I cut back on the snacks, she literally came up to me and patted my stomach saying that I must be eating for two. she called me pregnant Max! With that sweet little smile on her face!"
He snorts his coke and laughs through the choking.
(you have @cmstars2 to thank for this one. if its bad blame them for their ask which fueled me write this at 2am)
66 notes · View notes
cupidscrule · 9 months
Text
BLACK CAT
Leon X Fem! reader
P in V, smut
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[ no tw, vanillaish idk ]
1.2k wrd
”Woah, woah, slow down” Leon chuckled as you started explaining another cool story to him.
Your relationship was like the definition of a black cat and a golden retriever. You always have so much energy and are nice to almost everyone. Leon on the other hand is a tough agent who doesn’t really enjoy showing much emotion. He’s pretty stern towards others— but his softspot for you is clear.
”Okay, i’m listening. Tell me” He said while you were walking together with your fingers interlocked.
"okay okay! So THEN after Fluttershy wrote an entire song, rainbow dash just decides to throw it out? Ugh she's such a bitch. Don't you agree? I mean her friend went through all the trouble to try and get them to win the battle of the bands but she's so selfish.." you said, going on about a children's movie. You loved cute things, hello kitty, my little pony, really anything a 12 year old girl would be obsessed with, wearing cute little outfits and rambling about pointless stuff. But hey it made you happy and Leon thought it was adorable
"Mhm, yeah, so selfish" Leon couldn’t help but chuckle a little about how into the movie she was. by now he knew EVERYTHING about these stupid colourful horses, rainbowdash, fluttershy, twilight, pinkie, apple jack, list goes on. Honestly from what he knew rarity seemed like the best- I mean she was a boss bitch.
He found the whole thing pretty amusing, you were just so excited about it and he’s glad you have stuff you're so.. passionate about
"I mean, it would probably get annoying if her friend just wasted all that effort right? " He said trying to show his interest in her story.
"exactly! Ugh finally you get it" you said smiling up to him, leaning closer into his side as you two walked down back home, it was a long day. Like REALLY long, you took Leon shopping, got your nails done, bought some new skirts, and a new album. All that sort of stuff, but y'know dragging Leon aside you cause someone had to carry the shit, you were gettin really close to the outside of your house, skipping beside Leon holding hands. Life was like a dream.
But the long day out had Leon pretty tired— he had to drag a lot of your stuff around and you insisted they go to multiple stores (you tried to be nice and let him pick something out but he was too tired and grumpy, I know right such a dick head?)
When you were about to arrive home, he looked at you as you skipped around excitedly and smiled softly. Despite what he’s put through, he can’t deny that he finds your behavior adorable.
He squeezed your hand and chuckled a little before you guys got in front of your door.
"Oo Leon tomorrow we should watch rainbow rocks, then you'll understand what I'm talking about better" you say giggling as you step into your house, taking off your little boots and walking away from Leon plopping your ass on the leather sofa, even if you were like if you gave a six year old crack mixed with sour gummy worms even you could get kinda tired. Right, ain't that surprising? Little princess bitch face getting tired, after crawling over Leon like a little kid and skipping everywhere, runnin, jumping, god doing everything known to fucken man kind
“don’t know if we’ll have the time because of..” Leon muttered under his breath, he didn’t want to upset you and ruin your mood when you’re so excited.
He walked over to the couch and sat beside you silently and just observed you as you started talking about the movie. He placed a hand over your thigh, brushing up and down just silently smiling hearing you decribe your weird ass fictional horse people argue with other creatures from mythology, honestly sometimes he wondered if you needed to be checked into a mental hospital. Little grippy sock princess
“Wellll, maybe we can watch it tomorrow..” He shrugged. “I mean, i’ll do anything you want” Leon chuckled looking over at you.
He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer to him, his body was pretty warm given how hot the day was and his arm was pretty comfortable.
He kissed you forehead before wrapping his other arm around you, squeezing you a little. You loved when he was affectionate, but not in a creepy way, a cute way. But after a long day a girl can get a bit needy, like sue me but when you have a hot ass man cradling you and taking you everywhere, GOD it's like an angel is sent from heaven to fuck you. But fuck you in a good homemade porno way, not one of thoes shitty ones with a whole plotline. Just straight raw fucking
You turn around, breaking his grip on you before climbing onto his lap, placing yourself onto his thigh "Woah Woah, calm down- y'know I'm tire-" he was trying to speak, silly men. You land a big fat kiss on his lips to shut him up, slowly moving yourself on his thigh, pulling away from him getting a breath, saliva dripping down your face like an animal, staring at him in the eyes, his face slightly shocked you made the first move. But you felt something perk up, bingo. Always know what can make your man want ya
"God I can't just stare at your handsome face and do nothing-" you mutter under your breath, pushing yourself closer into him, kissing his face like a big ol' dog, your free hand finding its way to his jean zipper, undoing it his fat dick springing up, he grabs you by your hips, pulling your panties aside, slapping you onto his cock, a groan coming from his lips, honestly didn't expect the day to end like this, went from talkin ponies to getting your brains fucked out. Like a good girl you ride him, his hands are placed on your hips moving you at a decent pase, bit fast but he did do A LOT of work today, guess he deserves it. Nothing else in the world matters right now, euphoric feeling, he thrusted up into you, taking one hand off your hip and grabbing your face, making you look at him, god his eyes make you MELT. He could take care of you, he was real nice with it. He groped your tits sometimes in public, but just made you love him more.
You're at your high, he knows that. Few more thrusts and you whine, feeling your body melt like butter, your weight collapses onto him, but he's not done practically druling on him, limp body he keeps fucken like a doll, if you still have a tight pussy thats all that matters, few moments and he finishes, pressing you down onto him, filling your cervix, still collapsed on him both of you breathen all heavy. "So babydoll, what happened next?" He groaned, a sly ass smirk on his face. "Mm that cunt rainbow got put in her place and they play fluttershys song" you mutter, pushing on his fat chest, rollin off him like a little kid, pussy dripping. His pants stained with you, and a heavy chest.
"I wanna-"
"No"
"Pleaseee"
243 notes · View notes
randomfoggytiger · 1 month
Text
React: A Late-Canon Reviler Gives the Revival a Try (Weremonster), Part III
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Here we go, first comedic episode of the Revival. 
…Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…
Part I (My Struggle I) and Part II (Founder's Mutation).
Let's go!
MULDER AND SCULLY MEET THE WEREMONSTER
Why are we starting with adults huffing spray paint.
…Darin wrote two episodes with people getting high off of the strangest substances. 
And that’s not a lot, but it’s odd that it happened twice. 
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Why do monsters always run towards the people or object or whatever they’re trying to scare or escape from? Like, what if he got surprise-shanked by two high, high school dropouts? (It’s not out of the realm of possibility.)  
No self-preservation instinct, tsk tsk. 
This dude’s okay, no that dude, woah that dude might not be okay. 
…Random paper bag for the high man to stress-blow into. 
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Oh, look, a writer remembering the lore. 
How quaint. 
(Sidenote: Darin did not remember the lore, and kinda prided himself on not keeping up with all of it. But that won’t matter to me if he writes a good one-off.)
Mulder’s older now so he can’t stretch his neck to throw pencils at the ceiling. I guess. I suppose. I supposition. I presume.  
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Kumail’s in this one? 
…’Kay. 
“Mulder?” Yay, that’s Scully-- “What are you doing to my poster?” And that’s Gillian. 
Mulder’s recounting all his failures in an upbeat, presentational way ‘cuz he’s wooing his girl. At least neither of them act like they’re on the precipice of death, that’s neato. 
Oh, look, Scully can smile. Remember how she did that twice in My Struggle I? Good times. 
Why’s her shirt look like it’s from Walmart?
Forgot this… pencil-scratch material was popular around the mid twenty-teens.
Can I forget it again…? …No? Do they leave it behind in Season 10? 
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“--Going through these cases with fresh, if not wiser eyes.” Well, I don’t know about that. 
Also, is that a dig at his “wiseness” or a tongue-in-cheek joke at Mulder’s pat-on-the-back nature? (Lemme rewind.) Backpat coupled with epiphany. 
“Mulder? Have you been taking your meds?” 
….
…..
What, did they expect a laugh out of me? It just annoyed me because of the whole “Mulder’s depression” trauma I suffered for two episodes. 
But at least Darin’s trying to remind us that’s an on-going issue (despite CC implying it doesn’t bother Mulder anymore in My Struggle I and Morgan?-- or Wong-- reinforcing that idea in his “bitterly healed and chakras open” Founder’s Mutation ending.) 
Mulder’s a middle-aged man who just got back to the office and is wondering if anything he’s accomplished… well, if he’s accomplished anything. 
A valid question in these dark times. 
And by dark times, we all know what me and my chocolate-addled, My Struggle-PTSDed brain are referring to. 
Mulder certainly does:
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“Maybe it’s time to put away childish things-- the Sasquatches, the Mothmen, and… Jackalopes.” 
Okay, well that’s rude-- I always wanted to see a jackalope case. 
Mulder spent one weekend not getting a community response to his latest fanfic and let the dark thoughts take over. 
All joke’s aside, this is an… it’s an okay scene. It’s weighty enough to be taken seriously, you feel for this clone of Mulder’s, you hope he gets his Mr. Incredibles act together--
Oh, wait, he already did by now. 
I guess. 
We skipped the traincar training montage while he was getting back into FBI ready shape. 
.....
.......
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You’re welcome. 
On another aside, Skinner just pulled all the strings only for Mulder to have an identity crisis after one weirdo case. 
Man’s been carrying everyone on his back for decades with no rest and his newly recruited, depressed-but-not-depressed-depending-on-the-writer, domesticated-feral-animal agent might just trounce back out of the FBI and go wall up somewhere to mope. 
At least he’s not wandering off to take illegal substances to satisfy his curiosity. 
No. 
That’s saved for another episode. 
Scully brushes over Mulder’s confession to say, “we got another case, and this one’s ALSO got a monster in it.” 
And that makes him happy. 
Oooooooooooooooooooooooookay. 
*scribbling notes for later observation*
Darin has a favorite and that is OG Scully. And I will give it to him, she actually sounds happy for once. 
ALSO, I noticed your smoker voice is gone, GILLIAN, unless you’re mumbling or using The Sad Voice ™. I noticed. 
Scully’s insisting this is a monster case while Mulder mopes around the woods and says it’s a mountain lion. 
…I’m NOT gonna nitpick. I’m NOT-- OKAY, so, rewind time. 
Older Mulder-- as in the 90s Mulder-- would have at least been amused by Scully’s antics and followed her around for the fun of it, unless he felt used and abused, i.e. Host and Folie a Deux. Here is not the case. 
Further, he was intrigued in the basement but is now kind of… dismissive. 
Which is. It’s not a big problem, it doesn’t stand out, and it wouldn’t be something I’d clock except I’m very disgruntled and burned and grumpy about the past three days. 
However. 
Let’s continue. 
 Mulder’s Patriarchy Pants are making him do the Marilyn Monroe wiggle again. However, like a virus, middle-aged wedgie crotch has infected Scully, too; and the two of them are squeak-squonking ‘round the forest. 
They do say marriage slowly turns you into each other. 
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Mulder sloughing off the naked guy in the crime scene pics as “Well, maybe he’s a nudist.” 
Darin. 
I know what you’re doing here. 
Give Mulder the doubting identity crisis and have his faith transformed. A reverse Clyde Bruckman, if you will. I get it. But you gotta admit, "a nudist" is a pretty weak rationalization, let alone a comeback. 
“That’s how I’d like to go out.” That saved it a little.
“The uniqueness of the wound, Mulder, implies a human element.”
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Scully, I gave up profiling before I gave up monsters.” WHAT? LAST WEEK?
YOUR CREDENTIALS AS A PROFILER GOT YOU HIRED BACK TO THE FBI--
Pause, pause, pause. 
He’s probably being tongue-in-cheek. He gave up monsters this morning and profiling last night. 
…If he’s not, what’s Mulder gonna do? Take up residence under Skinner’s desk? Have his bald benefactor feed him pencil shavings between meetings? 
“You seen one serial killer, you seen ‘em all.” Quite literally, no. 
I am. 
Puzzled. 
It’s not offensive-- WAIT, NO. I’m being emotionally manipulated by a softer Mulder and more upbeat Scully, youcan’ttakemealive--
“Mulder, I can see you’re going through a questioning phase of some sort--”
You don’t say. 
From bar to basement. From closet to forest. From Founder’s Mutation to… Weremonster Investigation.
Scully points out they need to help the victims.
Mulder: “Okay, well when you put it that way, Scully, but mark my words--”
I’m not getting the essence of Mulder here, gang. 
I got him for, like, three whiffs in My Struggle I and once at the end of Founder’s Mutation, but he’s MIA here so far. 
…Perhaps my “clone Mulder” crack in a previous paragraph kinds fits. 
Hmmm. If he continues to be Mulder-adjacent, I shall name him… I was gonna say ‘Charlie’, then remembered that’s Scully’s brother’s name. The CC name rot is infecting me. 
The streetwalker-on-crack scene was amusing, but not really funny. 
OH, MAN, JUST GOT JUMP-SCARED BY KUMAIL, OHMYWORD. 
Also, that was a weird cut-- Scully opens her mouth to say something, Mulder looks at her, CUT, Kumail face. 
The director was meaning to imply Mulder stopped Scully’s attempted defense with a look, but it only made it seem like one of them said something so cancellable the editors drop-kicked that bit from the final recording. 
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I haven’t laughed once .
Welp, Kumail ran off after playing a scared animal control officer for three seconds. 
Pardon, but what was the purpose of that scene?
This kinda feels like a play: in this set piece, the hooker whacks a creature with a purse; in this set piece, Kumail gets spooked by the agents and runs off after hearing a roar; still in this set piece, Mulder whips out his phone and starts… hitting… the… picture… button. 
My thought process:
It's dark at night. 
2. I hear a ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR. 
3. I'm pulling out my gun, not my camera. 
You know why?
There are more tigers in North American than the world combined. 
Just sayin’. 
SCULLY, REINSTALL THE SAFETY FEATURE IN YOUR KEN, PLEASE. 
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JUST. PUT. THE PHONE. ON. VIDEO. MODE. 
Oh, wait, he’s a tech goombus who doesn’t know how to take videos. 
THEY SAW A DEAD BODY--
THEY SAW A DEAD BODY THROUGH HIS PHOTOS INSTEAD OF NOTICING THE CORPSE RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM?
I’m not mad because this isn’t as mean-spirited as the previous two episodes, but that’s just. That’s just.  
That. 
Wait, how’d they get from Mulder’s camera setting to his photo collage, without swiping or going there or…? He was taking rapid-fire pictures, Scully looks over, says, “What’s that?”, and the camera cuts to a picture that has to be in the phone’s gallery. …What happened-- you know what? Never mind. 
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Mulder runs off INTO THE DARK with ONLY HIS CAMERA OUT while Scully is yards behind him WITH THE GUN. 
Solid decision making there. 
My man, if this were a tiger (we’ve already seen it’s the horny Lizardman) or a cougar in heat (well, give Scully a few episodes), you’d probably be very dead. 
I’ve named Mulder-Clone: Ken. He’s cute, he’s having an identity crisis, and he’s as dumb as a rock. 
This fits unintentionally well with his Patriarchy Pants (though they’re wearing him, not of the other way around.) 
Kumail’s here and they both scared each other and now they’re hyper-Ken-focusing on Ken’s wonky phone app and stuff. 
Barbie-- clone Scully-- hears Ken and Kumail screaming their lungs out after getting jumped by Lizardman and only NOW notices Mulder had Marilyn Monroe shimmied off. 
Imagine if this were the end of Mulders career: questioning his life’s purpose, losing the battle to technology, and T-posing, dead, on the ground. 
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Ken sounds completely fine when Scully runs up to him asking if he's okay. No wooziness. No nothing. (Kumail, too.)
“Okay. I quit.” Smarty Mr. K. over there (not Ken, but you knew that.)
Monster’s a-running, and Formerly-Mulder springs up and races off with Scully. 
What did that jumpscare accomplish, narratively? What did any of these jumpscares accomplish, narratively?
I know we’re only 10 minutes in, but it’s feeling a little too… scene-scene-scene-scene-scene, jumpscare-jumpscare-jumpscare, phone-phone-phone-phone-phone. T-pose. That was a shakeup, I guess. 
Ken was going to question the guy on the pot (who is, indeed, the Lizardman, btw) but notices Scully’s face and closes the door and walks away with her. 
Strangely, that and the basement are the only scenes, thus far, where Ken was most like Mulder. 
Scully, do you regret putting a battery pack in your Ken doll now?
This interaction is still Ken-not-Mulder, but Scully is kinda recognizable. 
Just realized. Mulder replaced his slideshow with a phone. Now he can inflict them on his partner even in the midst of her autopsies. 
No one is safe. 
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THERE’S A MULDER MOMENT, I ACTUALLY SMILED! 
And now it’s gone. 
“So now you’re saying you were attacked by a six-foot horny toad?”
“Woah, let’s keep this in the realm of natural sciences, shall we?”
Um. 
That’s not a Mulder line. 
That’s not even a Ken line, I don’t think. 
Need to think up a new name for Mulder, I guess. 
I figured it out. David’s attacking the lines too vigorously rather than letting them breathe. I’m sure he’ll get there. 
Or Mulder and Scully were swallowed up by a black hole the second after they exchanged “Scratchy beard” niceties. Because that’s the last I’ve seen of them. 
But honestly? Clone. Lives. Matter. 
So, I shall fully support Clone Mulder and Clone Scully living their truth, expressing their lived experiences, and digging through each other’s brains like hairless capuchin monkeys dressed in skin-tight leotards.  
I was gonna say “horny, hairless capuchin monkeys” but I’ve not got a LICK of sexual tension between them this whole time. 
They do say married couples transition from goose-pimply “honeymoon love” to matured, knowing passion; but all I’m getting is the “knowing” and none of the “passion”.  
Right after my point, the two exchanged a little upbeat moment. I’ll give it that; but the passion’s still not there.
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WAIT, this episode has the fox-in-the-wall scene? 
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. 
I thought that was the doppelganger one. 
‘Kay. Color me intrigued. 
…WHAT is going on with these random, “comedic” scenes?
Desk clerk yells "Monster!", Mulder runs in, guy’s shaking over a bottle, makes up a story, tells Mulder to go back to his room “or I’ll kill ya.” Mulder nods and walks off. 
I’m not getting the fun of this episode, but I’m only 12 minutes in. So. 
Mulder’s snooping in someone else’s room. 
Mulder took someone else’s meds. 
Mulder found an animal head with hollow eyes that led him to a secret room behind the motel room. 
Heh, get it, he’s a Fox looking through fox eyes at Scully. Get it. 
I’m remembering bits from DD and GA’s commentary and how they were cheering him on in this moment. Someone should’ve told them this is Clone!Mulder. 
More proof this man finds burrows in the unlikeliest places:
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The manager says he installed those peeping tom hallways after 9/11, and yes that’s being used as an excuse but there’s supposed to be a joke behind it, right?
For instance: Rocky from Jose Chung’s From Outer Space took some political hits, but the jokes were funny and well-written. Here, they're either badly written or… someone’s directing these actors astray. And I know Clone!Mulder and innkeeper man are good actors because they’re doing their best selling this material. Things still feel wonky, unfortunately. 
Mulder’s getting objectified again, Your Honor. He got closeted last episode, he’s “questioning” this episode, and he’s being stared at in his speedo. And he didn't mind one bit.
Innkeeper man’s got closets of his own, too. *badum tssssss*
HOW did Mulder’s phone get a picture of the Lizardman in his human form earlier? In the split-second he and Scully opened the potty stall before turning and continuing their search? I'll even grant that... but a CLEAR one?
Whatever, whatever, whatever. 
Clone!Mulder’s patched his disbelief during the insomnia upgrade.
Clone!Scully unleashed a beast but still wakes up and stays up to hear him ramble. (Here’s the “my Mulder” line and the could-have-been-a-Knick’s-T-shirt moment.)
I do have another nitpick: why is Mulder diatribing here-- trying to convince Scully it’s a werewolf when she’s been saying monster or creature from the get-go? Is it the “werewolf” claim that he thinks she’ll rebut? Or? 
I do like: Scully about to answer, then nearly smiling when Mulder cuts her off. Brilliant touch. Hats off to GA for that second of goodness. 
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“‘It defies every known law of nature’-- exactly, Scully, every known law of nature!”
Mulder, she’s agreed with this point since Herrenvolk. She kinda did a mini speech about it. 
He doesn’t know how it came to be, but all he’s saying is, “it’s a MONSTER.” 
She’s ready to go back to the Unremarkable House already, Mulder. She just needed you to nerd out over monsters. 
Which… isn’t that actually the most Scully thing you’ve ever heard? Think about it: she wants to leave the Conspiracy behind, it’s eating her alive, she’s so sad and yadda yadda yadda. Darin says, “Hold up, this girl loves Mulder’s rants and raves” and makes her poke and prod him out of despair with a juicy creature case. And then (hopefully) reaps the benefits. 
Girl’s got a mission. 
And also, this doesn’t mesh at all with the Revival’s canon, but when has that stopped this crazy trainwreck? 
Why’s Scully calling him watered-down-for-FOX’s-approval crazy when she’s been saying creature this whole time?  Does she just… like arguing him? …That’s a stupid question, does she like arguing with him this much? …Again, that’s a--
Mulder spouts his theory, admits he stole stuff from another guy’s room, and tells Scully they can use his meds to track him down. “Well, that sounds like a good investigative plan.” In other words: “And you do so good at beach.” 
Now Mulder wants to go peeping around the motel, for the lols. 
Ken energy, I’m just saying. 
Alsooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not Mulder, sorry. He’d be curious, intrigued, perhaps roughishly amused by peeping tom corridors; but he’s never taken the time to search places inch-by-inch, top-to-bottom unless they directly related to the case. Is this a nitpick? Probably. But he’s flinging around broken FBI regulations left-and-right, carelessly reckless of all the rules and laws he’s breaking. Sure, Mulder’s a lawbreaker; but not to the extent that it would violate civilian rights. And even if it were fine, he’d be running off to the next lead instead of sticking around to snuffle through a useless one. 
The “Lizardman stabbing himself in the mirror with green glass to break the curse, not realizing it’s him” story doesn’t… really…. Darin Morgan’s writing crackfic at this point. 
Impotency jokes. 
Ahhh, the middle ages: you end up questioning things about yourself or having to pop pills one way or another. 
The comedy keeps failing, I think, because it’s trying too hard. This episode feels like a play (did I mention that earlier?) with dramatic pauses and etc. etc. Not really X-Filesy. 
The psychologist prescribes Mulder a pill (because Mulder believes the Lizardman’s a lizard man), then pops the pill himself the second Mulder leaves… which meansssss he believed, too? Though he doesn’t? 
I get he was supposed to be a crazy psychologist (ala Dr. Spiegel during the Johnny Depp trials), but, again, the comedy flopped. 
“Horny toad lizard man” works at a smart phone shop OF COURSE. Because that’s soooooooooooo clever! Modernization, crises of humanity and identity, get it??? 
Weremonster’s not offensive, but it’s… I’m gonna be honest, it’s not clever, either. 
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Why does Scully wear her shirt open almost past her bra line now? Not shaming her, but that doesn’t seem a very Scully thing to do. I don’t know, maybe I’m overthinking things. It was just her style, her way, her self-expression; and it feels smudged and lost in this version of Clone!Scully. 
At least she seems more naturally Scully, this episode. Which means she can only be natural in the funny episodes, huh. 
Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. 
Mulder has a gold car? Mulder rented a gold car? There’s a gold car here that serves as middle-age-over-compensation commentary. 
Mulder chastises Scully about the danger of approaching a dangerous suspect without backup then runs off, get it, ‘cuz that’s FUNNY. 
I must have a heart of coal because I’m bored instead of tickled. It’s waaaaaaay better than being angry and tired, though, so. 
“I’ll take it” is giving this experience too many brownie points, so I’ll use “I’m resigned”, instead. 
Here we go, the part where the Lizardman voices Darin Morgan’s gripes with work culture (and I say that because Darin himself said he only works because he has to pay the bills. Which, fair enough, I suppose.)
Wait. Did Lizo Man go from a generic British to an Australian accent? 
Guy tries to stage a cop suicide by green glass at Mulder’s hands and…. I’m sorry, this is kind of a fever dream. I can’t even unpack that logic for some bizarre reason. 
Let me unpack that logic for some bizarre reason: 
Psychologist tells Lizardman the story about breaking the curse by getting stabbed in the appendix. 
It involves the realization that the Werelizard stares at himself in the mirror and realizes he’s the monster. 
Does… does that prevent him from committing suicide? The psycologist’s instructions remain murky. 
Lizardman’s fed up with existence. Decides enough’s enough and goes back to the cemetery. 
Mulder walks up and tries to get him to unburden himself. 
Lizardman tries to bait him into cop homicide by green bottle. 
…How in the world did he think that would happen. 
MULDER. LOST. HIS GUN. Which is probably a wink-and-nod by Darin of the good ol’ days when Mulder lost it constantly. 
This Lizard’s gotta know who Mulder is at this point, and that Mulder would track him down and find him. That’s my prediction. 
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Mulder agrees to kill Guy Mann. Guy Mann calls him the only nice human he’s ever met. Of course cut back to Mulder’s face as he insists Guy tell him the whole story, first. 
Scully has no idea where Mulder is, does she. 
I knew the psychologist’s “other client thought he was a werewolf” would play into this. Heavy-handedly. 
The stupid, perfectly placed bush when Lizardman woke the next morning. I can’t even be mad at it. 
He took the not-nudist’s clothes, that explains things. 
The dialogue’s also kind of… juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuvenile. 
Lizardman leaped over the natural order of human life by talking mad game, and Darin glosses over the details with “humans are the best at that.” Ooooooookay. 
Nope, that doesn’t work for me. Not if Lizardman joined a tech shop and got promoted to manager the next day. 
I feel like Darin hasn’t hung around iphone shops much. 
HE COMMITTED A MURDER BECAUSE HE ATE A COW IN A HAMBURGER. Really.
Was this lizard a vegetarian????? Because animals constantly break their own eating rituals if they’re hungry (deer eating baby birds, rabbits, and even human corpses, for example.) I doubt a creature of that size and strength existed only on vegetation, especially if there were food shortages during the natural course of its life (which happens in the wild.) 
But NITPICK ASIDE, he ate his first cow. 
…Why didn’t he go find a head of lettuce and chow down on it? Then realize he’s missing something, eat the chicken from the salad, then go on a meat-eating binge? That would have been kinda funny. 
Oh, he’s an insectivore. 
So, he’s a meat eater. 
And he--, uuuuuuuuuuuuugh--
Dude’s a protein eater via the carcases of other living things, not plants. 
Dude didn’t have consciousness until he woke a man. 
So it wouldn’t have mattered to Dude if he ate a cow, anyway, because he’s a carnivore and humans are omnivores. 
So what gives? 
“No one likes insects. Not even other insects.” SO INSECTS HAVE EMOTIONS, LIKES, AND PREFERENCES. YET, YOU ATE THEM. I don’t see sound reasoning for an ethical or moral stance here, Guy Mann. 
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Lizardman spent the rest of the day helplessly watching… porn. Just couldn’t help himself. Uh huh. 
Dude, you were an animal YESTERDAY, with no association to human morays or social etiquette or guidelines or….
OH. That’s how the Scully scene plays into this. 
But then that scene’ll be shot because it’s played for jokes-- males wanting to overexaggerate their knotch count-- rather than a very real reality of animals with zero morals when it comes to their procreation habits. 
Let’s see if I’m right. 
Guys, this would have been funnier and-- there’s that word again-- clever if Guy Mann lived like a caveman for a few days then overheard some humans talk about job, bills, and etc. spiraled, thinking he would be stuck as a half-human forever, and resigned himself to the fate of every other human (through the lens of his lizard brain, heh.) 
It’s not supposed to be taken seriously, I know, but Darin always wrote plausibility into his previous scripts. This one feels like he didn’t try hard enough. 
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO wow. 
Guy went to a "witch doctor"-- oops, “a psychologist”-- but stopped taking his prescribed meds because “it just clouded my thoughts” TO WHICH MULDER NODS IN UNDERSTANDING. 
Mulder gets it because, as an Oxford educated psychologist, he could diagnose the other psychologist (who shouldn’t be prescribing meds) as a wack job. 
Mulder stopped taking his meds. 
Which is what Scully asked if he’d done in the intro. 
Which means his depression’s gone away without his meds. 
Which means his depression’s either CURED, BOOM, or he never needed meds to begin with. 
Which means Scully misdiagnosed him. 
And left. 
OR Mulder stopped taking them and was on depression med withdrawal in the beginning of this episode, hence his melancholia…? 
‘Tis a mess. 
Only time to be happy as a human is to spend time in the company of a non-human-- YOU’RE AN ANIMAL. YOU’RE NOT A HUMAN. YOU JUST LOOK LIKE ONE FOR TWELVE HOURS A DAY. 
Also, Daggoo. Yup. There he is. Uhuh. 
Scully was robbed of her first dog by an overgrown lizard and robbed from another overgrown lizard in return. 
Daggoo was let out of the motel and ran off, and Mann felt crushing loss and grief (while looking not quite that) then ran into Mulder and Smarty K and ran to the toilet and got pap shot by Mulder and etc. 
(Also, he ran into the werewolf dude; and Mulder knows the urge to “strangle him and eat his flesh” when it comes to villains and their villainy.)
Hokey. That’s how I would describe this episode. Inoffensive, but new Scooby Doo.  
Wait, he threw his clothes off while witnessing the werewolf man eat another man (get it, it looked like animalistic sex) then but had them on again when Mulder ripped open the stall door and took his pants-down shot. 
What. 
Wait, Mulder’s up-to-day with transgender procedures and terms but not? familiar with gay bars? 
What, did he subscribe to a Queer Life email subscription between episodes, or is that too new-fangled? 
This episode doesn’t know what angle it wants to tackle for Clone!Mulder (forgot that nickname temporarily) and instead becomes a mix of everything at different strengths (that also change depending on which scene.) 
HOW did Guy Mann not recognize Mulder after Mulder took a picture of him on the port-a-potty??? And stuck around to ask him some questions??? 
“That was me, actually.” 
“I thought I recognized you!” 
So. He… diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid? 
OR it was a jackalope head on the wall?
No, wait, it wasn’t a jackalope, Guy Mann just misidentified the animal head on the wall-- and he’s “creeped out” by jackalopes ever since a friend got “gored” by them and GET IT, GUYS, THIS ALL LINKS BACK TO THE BASEMENT WHEN MULDER TALKED ABOUT MOTHMEN AND JACKALOPES. 
I swear, Mulder’s just trippin or suffering withdrawals from his depression meds. 
Scully said, “We have a creature case,” and he went home and dreamed this all up in a slime pit of sweat. 
HIS DEAD FRIEND GEORGE. 
SO THESE LIZARD PEOPLE HAVE NAMES????
THEN WHY’S HIS NAME GUY MANN?????????????????????????????????????
SO, they have friends and eat insects that have some form of consciousness and consider burgers to be cow murder. 
I need to stop thinking seriously about this plot. 
It’s pit stink Mulder thrashing around in his bed, smiling over speedos and peeping tom tunnels and Scully affectionately calling him crazy-- and that makes the most sense, honestly. 
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“I think my phone isn’t working right because guy’s don’t send me pictures of their junk on it.”
More evidence that this was written not by Darin Morgan but by his middle school aged doppelganger, Marin Dorgan, who split from his body during the stress of having to write for the Revival. 
“Ever since I became a human, I can’t help but lie about my sex life.” Stupid. He’d need a Twitter account, first. 
Mulder’s back to doubting because the entire story’s too silly. To be fair, I do like this beat; and it does align (if you squint at it) with his journey out of depression. BUT it is all too silly, so… kinda think Clone!Mulder’s got a point. 
Mulder smiling over learning that Shakespeare called us all ignorant idiots is a nice touch which I shall now spoil: how did Guy Mann know that? Porn? 
“Fox, man, you’ve gotta put me out of my misery!” Get it, Fox Mann, Guy Mann? Animals, GET IT. 
“You wanted to arrest me for something I didn’t do. Who takes advantage like that? I’ll tell you: a human.” That’s the only comedic bit that landed, for me, and even then it was a lip twitch. His contained righteous indignation got through whatever made the rest of this the way it is! WHOO! 
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The guys goes stomping off yelling “Monster!” behind him at Mulder to drive his point home, which drives Mulder to drink. 
“Mulder’s the monster, get it, because he doesn’t know what he is and is just willing to use other people for his own selfish ends?” the plot says, affectionately, with a giggle behind its hand. 
This is the scene where he collapses by Kim Manner’s tomb, isn’t it. 
ARE YOU KIDDING, MULDER HAS HIS THEME SONG AS A RINGTONE. 
MULDER’S HIGH, THAT’S IT. HE’S HIGH OR OVERDOSING ON HAPPY DRUGS, THERE’S NO OTHER EXPLANATION. 
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Now that I know this is Ken Mulder’s delirium, it’s going to be interesting to draw unauthorized conclusions about his Alice in Wonderland hallucination. 
Aww, look, it’s Kim Manners. 
Mulder’s got his Patriarchy Pants' cheeks right on Kim’s face. 
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Me, ten minutes into the Revival: “Maybe I’m just a fool, Scully. Maybe I always have been.” 
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Can’t knock that line too much because it is a Mulder thing to think or say. 
And it still fits into my delirium scenario, so. 
Oh, Kumail’s been turned. Didn’t see that coming. The music’s suspenseful, too. That’s cool. 
There’s no way Mulder should figure this out, but he probably will. 
Oh, he didn’t. 
That’s good. 
Also, Scully’s: “Maybe I miss having a dog. And someone to hold my grudges for me,” could apply to her tendency to own dogs but it also might refer to Mulder who she let “curse God for a while” in her stead in IWTB. 
Also, where was THIS scene hiding? It’s really good. 
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Ken Mulder’s hobbling, not running, to his car. ‘Kay. 
Wait, Kumail's not a werewolf?
And Scully's got it all handled???? 
Wait, NO, that makes no sense. AND IT’S ALL EXPLAINED AWAY WITH “I’M IMMORTAL.” what. 
Scully went to the animal control shelter because she suspected Kumail of being the murderer. 
She lingered with her back to Kumail, letting him have home court advantage. 
HE SLIPPED A NOOSE AROUND HER NECK. 
That’s it, she’s doneso. She’s a 5’2” woman that’s as light as a bird, there’s no way she’s topping a man, let alone one with a noose around her neck and distance on his side. 
Yes, I know this was because the transgender woman surprised Guy Mann with her punch, but that doesn’t translate to a stunning twist for Scully to also have the upper hand. She doesn’t have enough meat on her bones, and nowhere near the arm length to stop her attacker. 
Did Guy Mann show up and interfere? Help her out in anyway? Did the dogs rush in and tackle him until she could get up? 
IS SCULLY A DOG WHISPERER????? If so, why did Daggoo bite her????????
I will say: Kumail being the murderer really changes that one scene where he was sneaking up behind Mulder. 
And also… the fact that he worked for an animal shelter, since he started with small animals.
WAIT, this is a normal animal control shelter, yes? That’s what Mulder yelled into his phone, anyway. 
But… there were only dogs in the room when Mulder and the officers arrived. 
So. Scully is a dog whisperer, or she tackled Kumail, loosed all the dogs before he got up, and pinned him (impossible) until the cops arrived. I guess. Or the dogs were loose to begin with. 
Oh, and chickens.
Dogs and chickens. 
Dogs. And chickens. And goats. 
(Were ALL the animals loose??????)
Scully, the farm animal whisperer. A trait she must share with her Wyoming son. 
Welp. There goes that scene. 
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Scully approached a dangerous suspect twice without backup (says Mulder, who was Kenning it out in the cemetery with the first dangerous suspect… and the second, if you count him running off and nearly getting offed by Kumail without his knowledge); and excuses it by saying Mulder needed “quality time” with his Lizardman. 
“Besides, I’m immortal.” 
That sounds like the prequel to another poor decision tattooed on your back, Scully. 
Mulder’s not soothed by this pronouncement (obviously), but realizes “If Guy’s story was true--” and runs off into the woods. Again. 
And Scully asks the dog if he wants to go home with her. 
And I question. Why a dog. Why that dog. 
You miss dogs but you didn’t have a tie to any particular dog. And this dog bit you. 
Because he’s Plot Relevant Dog. I see. 
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“Woah, I’m not a reptile! That’s racist!”
No it’s not you silly, silly reptile with utterly unexplainable human knowledge and reflection. 
Also, another motif of Mulder just standing there watching another guy undress, casually. 
An aspect of Darin’s writing I hadn’t considered: Mulder knows things Guy does is odd for a normal human, but also knows this is normal for Guy and just goes with it, for his sake. 
Like a good psychologist. Like a decent human. 
But also, he has his limits. 
Also, get it, Mulder’s a man outside mankind, too, who just needs to find himself again. Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit?
“I want to believe,” Mulder says. 
Mulder just needed someone to say they’re glad to have met him, they’re glad to have him in their life. 
So. 
I guess Scully hasn’t said those words yet. 
Guy shakes his hand. 
Mulder watches, stunned, as Guy runs off to hibernate for 10,000 years-- another hallmark of Marin Dorgan’s writing. Ha ha ha, a knee slapper, that one. 
“Likewise,” Mulder whispers, overcome and disbelieving and renewed all in one. 
A nice little heartfelt, cheesy, sincere ending. 
CONCLUSION
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What did I just watch? 
Thanks for reading~
Enjoy!
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adoregojo · 9 months
Text
candy ˚ 𖧧 ₊
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wowowowo a rin ficcc (kinda short tho) warnings ➥ kiss
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"I brought you some candy."
the voice of your boyfriend rang you out. he steps in your shared apartment after he took his shoes off carrying a plastic bag with what it looks like some candy and other items you asked him to bring on his way home.
he takes off his black jacket hanging it besides your own, ruffling his dark green locks of snow as he walks up to you. you notice he was wearing you two rabbit matching socks, the same socks he claimed it looked ridiculous and he'll never be seen wearing them.
it was cold at this time of Tokyo yet rin was willing to freeze his butt just to get your needs, even if you told him that he can get it later he had a damn thick skull and refused to take any other objection from you.
you shifted to the side with your laptop for him to sit beside you, he quickly spread in hands in a silent request for you to warm it up for him. so you gently warped your hands in his, rubbing your warm hands against his freezing once than locking you two fingers together.
"you really didn't have to go all that way for some silly stuff." you said, pressing a little peck against the back of his hand.
"you said you were carving something sweet.." rin pulls his hands away from yours, not in a harsh way. but he fears you'll somehow will hear his rabid heart pounding.
rin didn't like the cold, but it was more that he hated how it made him feel. lonely and lost, abandoned with no light to guide him to end up dying slowly. what he hated the most that it was the opposite of you, you were warm, he felt the safest in your arms. like the light was holding him.
you, you were the bright light in his coldest winter night.
he placed the plastic bag on the table, you in a swift snatched the bag to see what's inside, you raised in brow when you got a grip of an unfamiliar candy. you twisted it around to check the brand.
but overall it didn't look that bad, and didn't matter that much as long as he brought you something. "aww, rinnie, you didn't have too." a teasing smile draw it way on your face.
"shut up.." rin muttered, he felt the tip of his ear getting slightly hot at your words. "I didn't find your favourite so I brought this." he brushed off the bashful remains.
"the cashier said each one has it own flavour."
"woah cool.." honestly it looked cool, the mixes colors between red and rainbows with a cute cartoon character as the logo.
you existentially opened it. you hummed in unsureness of what to pick of too many colors with different tastes, so you just closed your eyes and picked randomly. rin was grateful your eyes were fully closed to not witness the fond smile at your silly act.
"I'll take this one!" it was a yellow one, without thinking twice before you threw the candy in your mouth.
"how'd it taste?" rin asked as your face slowly turned into a grimaced expression. he almost let out a laugh. almost.
"mmm..it's probably banana..but it tastes more like a rotten one." it wasn't that bad but the taste just wasn't for you.
you thought maybe taking a different tast would cover over this one flavour.
"let's try this one-"
before you could your words, a pair of cold lips smashed into yours, your eyes widened and you couldn't process what was happening when the soft lips against yours didn't mercy you and you felt like you were gonna faint. as rin took advantage of your flabbergasted state to slide his tongue through your slightly parted lips.
you felt dizzy as he kept digging deeper until he could feel the shape of the candy. he didn't back off immediately, refusing to break the kiss just yet. he locked his mouth with yours and you felt like you couldn't run away when it felt so good. tangling your tongues and he tasted like the same candy yet something more sweet something heavenly you couldn't get your fingers on. your hand run on his chest, you didn't know if it was for him to continue or to back him away.
he was mindlessly devouring you like starved man and you could feel the lack of the air, you were too foggy to care and all you mind was about rin, and the warmth blooming in your chest.
feeling you were out of breath, rin breaks away resulting you two to part, drawing a streak of saliva. a remains from such a shameless kiss.
for a second you two faces are still close almost as if rin was holding himself back from kissing again you endlessly, at this closeness you could count his pretty under-lashes as you let out a few breath before rin shifted back to his position.
"you're right, they taste a little rotten. but they taste better now." rin said calmly, as if he did not just suck the life out of your mouth a second ago, you tried to get a grip of yourself. you wondered what the hell was that. it's not like it was bad, fuck no, that kiss made you feel like floating.
you glanced at your boyfriend to see his neck and ears burning hot, at leats your weren't the only one who was taken off by that.
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hehe, people kissing.. have a nice day everyone :3
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poetryandfluffycats · 5 months
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OKAY. since reqs are open uhm would you write madara cucking kuro plz...
like literally fucking fem!reader getting fucked, kuro's clothed boner pressed to her cheek while he kinda js sits back in shock and doesn't know what to do while mama is fucking her rrroughhhh and is like "you like my cock that much? kuros right there you'll make him angry" and shit. idk DOES THIS MAKE SENSE but yeah 🫶🏻
-🍓anon
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A/N: I GOT CARRIED AWAY WITH THE PLOT OMG SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I hope it's too ur liking I may have gone off the rails a little bit....
Pairing: Kuro Kiryu x fem!reader x Madara Mikejima
Content: Madaras into you, everyone and their dog knows that. Only problem is, you have a boyfriend.
Warnings: NSFW, dub-con, slut-shaming, oral sex(f receiving), cuckolding, dry humping, sexual harassment(?), mentions of cheating, established relationship with kuro, ooc madara(?), they're both ooc tbh💀, porn with plot
Words: 2.1k
NSFW oneshot under cut!
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Have Him Watch?~
It was no secret that Madara had a thing for you. He had made his advances-both romantic and sexual alike-very obvious to you and everyone else, not even hesitating to flirt with you right in front of your own boyfriend, Kuro.
Kuro wasn't the type to let himself fall into petty jealousy, he knew you loved him and that nothing would never change that. Therefore, he hardly batted an eye whenever Madara made another stuipd comment about your body, or when his hands would linger for just a bit too long. It was better to simply ignore him and wait for Madara to get the hint. Kuro knew he was strong, but to pick a fight with Madara? Death wish.
So, he didn't aggravate him in any way, letting the bigger man do this thing until he realised he had no chance with you. Which is why he was confused when Madara cornered him in the gym one day, his teeth gleaming in his signature smirk.
"Kuro! My friend, my pal! Got a minute?" He beamed, slinging his arm around Kuros shoulders and pulling him in close, squeezing so hard you'd think he was trying to suffocate him.
"Uh, I'm a bit busy right now" Kuro pushed him off, dusting himself off and returning his attention to the weights he had been lifting. "Maybe later"
Madara smile didn't waver, if anything it only grew in size. Clearly, he had no interest in leaving anytime soon, not even when Kuro desperately wanted him too. Whatever Madara wanted from him, he didn't have the time for it. Not now, hopefully not ever.
"Ah, cmon! It'll only take a second!" He chirped, plopping down on the bench beside Kuro, crossing his legs and watching as the redhead started his reps. "Hey, working hard or hardly working, am I right? Hahaha~"
"Out with it, Mikejima" Kuro grunted, resisting the urge to smash his weights straight in the mans face. All he wanted was a peaceful workout, was that too much to ask for?
Madara laughed, waving his hand dismissively as if to clear the tension. "Always so blunt, I've always liked that about you y'know!" He grinned, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. "So, you and (name), huh? How serious have you gotten with her? Is it marriage?"
Now he was just starting to piss him off. How was this any of his business? Sure, you and Madara were friends, but where did he get off asking for details about your relationship?
"She's my girl, yeah" Kuro answered, praying that his short replies would deter him from the conversation. If that was even possible.
"Right, right. And just hypothetically, if she were to cheat on you, would you be mad?"
Kuro tighten his grip on the weights, his knuckles turning white at the strain. "What are you getting at? You trying to start something?" He said through gritted teeth, shooting a glare in the brunettes direction.
Madara chuckled, putting one hand up in defence and using the other to playfully slap Kuro on the shoulder-a gesture that he did not appreciate, might I add. "Woah! Easy, I don't wanna fight ya! I'm just curious. Hey, maybe you'd let her cheat on you, I don't know what you're into!"
Kuro dropped the weights, the metal making a loud 'clunk' sound as they hit the floor, causing the other members of the gym to look over and stare at the two. Not that he gave a damn, oh no. Not when this clown was making a scene. How dare he suggest you would have an affair? Was he out of his mind?
"What's wrong with you? Of course I'd be mad, what makes you think I'd be cool with that? Get lost man" He spat, shoving him aside as he rose to his feet. The blood rushing through his veins felt as if it was burning as he sped away, not wanting to spend another second with such a fool.
What even was that? Kuro had gotten used to Madaras teasing and loud personality. Hell, he'd even grown to enjoy it to an extent. But this was just insulting. Why was he even saying those things? Did he know something Kuro didn't? Had you....
No, that was silly. You would never be unfaithful, that just wasn't you at all. Yet here he was, images flooding his mind of you tangled in Madaras arms, both of your bodies sticky with sweat and cum as you screamed his name. It was disgusting.
But so, so hot.
Shit.
/-----
You and Madara were friends. It was normal for friends to hang out alone in each other's bedrooms, even if they were the opposite gender, right?
Yeah, of course it was fine! Who were you kidding, it was perfectly acceptable.
You two were good friends, the best of friends! So it was normal for him to hug you, to wrap his arms around your waist from behind and pull you closer. He was a touchy person, after all. It was totally okay for him to nuzzle into your neck and inhale the smell of your perfume, to pepper kisses all over your jawline, to grind his erection against your ass-
Wait a minute.
"H-hey! What are you doing?" You yelped, squirming around in his grasp in a feeble attempt to escape his hold. It didn't matter how close you were, there was no way you'd be comfortable with this!
"What's wrong?" He cooed, your wiggling only seeming to excite him further as he continued his humping. "Friends cuddle all the time! Or are we not friends anymore?"
"This isn't cuddling! This is-ah! This is, oh fuck! This is sexual harassment, you perverted fuck!" You cursed yourself for allowing your voice to crack, letting those dreaded moans spill out like you were some whore who enjoyed this. Which, of course, you didn't! You didn't like it, right? Dammit!
"Sexual harassment, huh? If that's what floats your boat" Madara chuckled, pushing his hands past the hem of your skirt, groping the soft flesh of your thighs.
You squirmed around, hitting at his chest and clawing at his arms. It was no use, damn him and his muscles! In this position all you could do was stand there and take it, because in all honesty, you knew that no amount of protesting would get him to stop. Even of you did get away, it wouldn't be for long, Madara was as stubborn as ever and you knew for a fact that he wasn't afraid to use force to get his way.
You just didn't realize that part of him would ever show itself to you.
"Kuro. Kuro will be home soon, and he'll-ah! He'll kick your ass!" You threatened, snapping your head around to glare at the man behind you. Using Kuro as a form of defence probably wasn't the best idea, but it was your last resort. Begging and trying to fight back certainly didn't work against Madara.
He just laughed. "Maybe we can have him watch"
"What do you-"
A sudden knock at the door cut you off, the familiar voice of your beloved boyfriend coming from behind it. "Uh, (name)? Do you have someone over? Why's the door shut? Can I come in?"
Oh fuck. No!
It suddenly dawned on you just how horrible this would look to Kuro, you pinned against another man with his hands up your skirt? Anyone would think you were a cheating whore! No matter how much you tried to explain the situation, it would still look the same. You had dug your own grave by even letting Madara come over!
Madara pressed his lips to your earlobe, nipping on the soft flesh and whispering lowly, "Do you want me to stop?"
Yes! No! Maybe?
God, why did it have to feel so fucking good?
"Babe? I'm coming in"
"Wait-ah-no! Don't-"
Too late.
The door swung open, the face of your wide-eyed and shocked boyfriend sending a wave of guilt down your spine. He looked at you, then Madara, then you again, his mouth opening and closing but no words coming out, only surprised mumbles and stutters.
You honestly couldn't tell if he was angry, sad, confused, aroused, maybe a mix of all three? And it didn't help that you were unaware of what emotions you should have been feeling either. Should you scream for help, or moan in pleasure? Push Madara away or pull him closer?
"Kuro... this isn't..." You started, trailing off when you glanced over the very obvious tent in the redheads jeans. Oh. Oh shit.
So he was aroused by this? What even was this? Some twisted form of roleplay? A fetish that the two men discussed that you didn't know about? Did Kuro actually like this, or was his body reacting subconsciously?
Either way, you didn't have much time to think about it before Madara picked you up from under your thighs and tossed you onto the bed like a ragdoll, wasting no time in climbing in between your thighs and nuzzling his nose into your panties.
"Mm~ You smell so good" He purred, the vibrations of his voice sending a wave of pleasure to your core, a gasp mixed with a whorey moan leaving your lips at the feeling.
The redhead in the doorway cleared his throat, footsteps echoing in the room as he made his way over to where you lay on the bed. He sat down beside you, a hand coming out to gently stroke your cheek. It was a soothing action. One that might have made your heart melt if there wasn't another man currently lapping at your panties like a starved dog.
"Is this okay? I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it first.." He apologised, his face flushed pink and his lips turned upwards into a small smile. "Just tell me if your not enjoying it and I'll kick him out, alright? That's okay?"
You gulped, then nodded, bringing your own hand up to hold his as you squirmed around on the mattress, your mind slowly but surely becoming goo at the pleasure spreading through your veins.
"Ah!- I don't know"- Madara looked up at you with those big brown eyes, choosing that moment to flatten his tongue against your clothed clit, making a show of slurping and smacking his lips together -"f-fuck yes! Oh god, please!"
With consent finally granted, Madara hooked his fingers under the waistband of your panties, pulling them down in a second and diving straight into the heat of your pussy. He flicked his tongue up and down, side to side, round in circles and everywhere he could possibly reach inside of you.
Anything to make you scream his name, and scream his name you did. You threw your head to the side, falling into Kuros lap, as he brushed over that one spot, a spot that not even Kuro had reached before.
"Shit! Right there! Ah-ha~ Madara" You cried out, wrapping your legs around his head in a death grip, shoving his tongue even further inside you. "So good!"
He pulled his tounge out of your wet hole, opting to swirl and flick it over your clit. You withered and squirmed around on the bed, griping onto the sheets as hard as possible. The knot in your lower belly was starting to build, and both Madara and Kuro could tell. Your whole body felt as if it was on fire under Madaras touch, every inch of your body begging for release.
It just felt so good. So, so, so good-
"Ah-gonna cum!"
Your orgasm washed over you like a wave, toes curling and eyes rolling to the back of your head. Your lips parted and you were panting so heavy you barely had enough breath left in your lungs to moan or even scream. Juices splattered all over the face of the man in between your legs, dripping down his chin as he drank it up like it was the finest wine in the world.
Madara pulled away from your swollen cunt, climbing up onto the bed and hovering above you, leaning down to capture your lips in a quick kiss.
"Aren't you a little slut, huh? Getting off on my tongue while your boyfriend watched? You came so quickly, does he not treat you right?" He cooed, brushing a strand of hair away from your eyes.
Kuro, who had been dead quiet the whole time, finally spoke up. "You didn't have to be so rough with her" He grumbled, stroking the top of your head.
Madara huffed, a grin tugging at his lips. "She loves it! Don't you know what your own girlfriend likes?" He rolled his eyes before returning his attention back to your blissed-out form. "Ready for more, sweetheart?"
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loupy-mongoose · 11 months
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Another writing that got long, so putting a Read More~
I wish I could've continued this interaction as a comic, but I ran out of energy. Life got busy, my mood fluctuated. So this one's written. X3
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PREVIOUS NEXT
ARC START | CHRONO
~~~~~~
Lavender woke in her bed with a gasp. She sat up, gulping air as the dream vision invaded her waking mind.
It wasn't real... It was just a vision... It wouldn't have hurt you, Lav. It wouldn't have hurt you...
As she calmed down, her attention shifted to something else.
She reached out with her mind.
...Nico?...
Nothing.
Lav's face scrunched up in anger. Dang it...
She flopped back onto her pillow, her arms sprawled out beside her. Here eyes were shut tight. Rrrrrrgh... Sorry, Nico, I didn't mean to wake up!
Something tickled her attention in her mind, but she didn't dwell on it.
Curse the flimsiness of our connection!
This time, she couldn't ignore it.
.a...v..nder?...
Lav froze, listening intently and focusing with all her might.
...Nico?
...u.. s....ll ..ear m....?
Lav smiled and mentally shouted as strongly as she could, careful to not connect with her family's mindscapes. I hear you, Nico! I hear you! Can you hear me?!
Lav? Lav!? I heard you!
Yes! Lav clenched her fists in her spike of joy. YES! Finally! We can talk without the worry of it collapsing at the slightest breath!
I'm... Kinda surprised you still want to talk... I'm sorry about the visions. I got carried away...
No, no, it's fine! It just startled me!
...It seemed like a strong reaction for just a startle...
I'm fine, honest! Lav tried to ignore that he was right. Anyway, that’s not the end of the story, right? You said you didn’t feel guilty then… But you clearly regret what happened.
...I do... His voice was subdued. Yes. I now regret what happened. But... Back then, I was truly the monster they wanted me to be. I was their good little weapon, until I decided they didn't see me as an equal.
After I d... d-destroyed the lab... I roamed Kanto. I challenged people and Pokemon alike... I attacked them... I...
His mental voice broke.
I killed them...
Both Lav and Nico fell silent. Lav could tell she was getting more adept at this connection thing, as she faintly felt that they were still linked.
What changed?
You said Fuji taught you gentleness and kindness, but you still... She shivered, hoping that he couldn't sense her apprehension. What made you change your mind from "monster" to regretful?
...Jovie.
Lav couldn't help smiling at the pure warmth in his mental voice. Your mate?
He spoke with a wistful tone. If Fuji planted the seeds, Jovie watered and nurtured them.
I, uh....
I stumbled into her home town. A little hidden place called Shadegrove. I... I attacked... And she defended.
Looking back... she was amazing.
So brave, and strong. Determined to save the town and people she loved.
And she succeeded.
I couldn't overpower her, so I left. Exhausted. Embarrassed.
And Furious.
First my parent, then this...
Lav felt a jolt.
I figured Mews wanted nothing to do with the Monster they had created.
Woah woah woah, wait! Your parent? Did you know your parent?
...
I saw them leave. Before I left my incubation tube.
Incubation tube? Lav took a mental note of the strange phrase.
I'm sure of it... It's my earliest memory.
A Mew's tail vanishing into the distance... Either my parent, or a Mew who knew me...
It abandoned me.
And after Jovie attacked me, I thought... I thought it was me. Mews hated me.
But I was wrong.
She followed me.
And I would be dead now if she hadn't
She found me after a challenge I'd made went wrong, and healed me up. And she did the unthinkable.
She was kind to me.
She worked to get to know me.
She cared about me.
And I found myself returning those feelings.
She made me laugh.
She made me care.
She made me happy.
And eventually... we fell in love.
That's... pretty much all the important stuff...
Lav sat quiet, contemplating the rest of the story she'd heard. Is that how you got that scar?
...Yeah...
You ever hear about Zapdos?
She felt her heart skip a beat, remembering stories her dad had read to her of the powerful electric-type legendary bird. ...Wow...
Yup.
They both went quiet.
Nico...
Lav's mental voice was soft.
Thank you. Seriously. For being brave enough to share that with me.
Wou... Would you be okay with me telling it to my dad?
Nico was silent. Lav could almost feel the buzz of his mind as he contemplated. Finally, he spoke up.
If you think it'll help. I... I worry it won't, but... You know him better than I do.
Do what you think is best, Lav.
Lav tried to form the question; Why are you afraid of him? But a yawn broke her concentration. She looked at the time.
Shoot. I should go back to sleep, or I'll be hurting tomorrow. Catch ya later?
If you want to!
Yeah! She smiled. Good night, Nico!
Good night, Lav.
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PREVIOUS NEXT
ARC START | CHRONO
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ariesqueencobra · 7 months
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what we used to be | Xlll
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Pairing: Eli Moskowitz x Fem!Reader
Summary: You're in love with a boy but then the rose-tinted lenses fall off and suddenly you're not so sure about anything.
Warnings: swearing, kissing, bullying, mentions of violence
Word Count: 2.1k
A/N: We've now entered Hawk's red hair era...
Thank you to those who already reblog and comment, I see you and I love you all for it!
I don't consent to this work being copied, translated or reposted.
You met Eli at the tattoo parlor after brunch with your parents and grandmother. It was a pleasant meal, your grandma being happy to see more of her first grandchild now that you were on summer vacation. 
Now that familial duties were out of the way, you could spend the rest of the day with your boyfriend and friends. 
Eli was laid out on the table, updating the color of the hawk’s hair to match his new hue. 
You liked the red he chose this time around. It was bolder, fiercer, and badass. You watched as he got up, thanking Rico as you stood up, walking over to him.
That’s when you noticed the new tattoo. “Lavenders?” Your heart swelled, placing your hand on his chest and tracing around the fresh ink.
“Since they’re your favorite,” he smirked, taking his shirt from you. “Snuck one of your drawings the other day, Rico was able to trace it,” he added.
You smiled before leaning in to kiss him, something he welcomed. You pulled away, licking your lips as he wrapped his arm loosely around your neck. Making your way towards the entrance, he stopped, calling out to Chris and Mitch.
“Hey, asshole twins, grab my bag,” Eli ordered.
You snickered as you walked out, loving the confidence he carried.
~
Later in the day, the entire dojo was hanging out at a restaurant in the mall. You were sitting with the girls, Eli was somewhere, and Miguel was working really hard on his computer.
“So, you and Hawk have been making heart eyes during the last few classes. What’s up with that?” Aisha asked, a teasing smile on her face.
“Wait, you’re just noticing that?” Tory laughed.
Their comments made your face heat up but you answered anyway. “We kinda said “I love you” a couple of weeks ago” you beamed.
“Woah, that means it’s serious,” Aisha’s eyes widened. 
“Look at that, young love,” Tory smirked, laughing with Aisha.
You grinned just as Eli walked past your table, he smirked at you, sending you a wink. To which the two girls teased you about. 
“He also got a tattoo of my drawing with my name,” you bit down on your lip to hide your smile.
“That means he’s totally whipped,” Tory explained. “Getting something so permanent?” She huffed.
“It’s insane, right?” You hummed, unable to hide your smile.
“You think?” Aisha raised a brow. 
You all laughed just as your food arrived. Beginning to eat, you noticed Eli was nowhere to be found but you ignored it when Aisha and Tory started talking about Sam LaRusso and what went down at the country club the other day.
“I still can’t believe she did that,” you shook your head after being told she accused Tory of stealing her mom’s wallet. “So what if you swiped a few bottles and some silverware, a place like that is not gonna miss it,” you scoffed.
“Exactly my point,” Tory said before glancing at Miguel.
You and Aisha sent each other a knowing look before she stood up and walked over to his table. 
“I’m probably gonna head out, do you need a ride home?” Aisha asked.
“Nah, Eli’s taking me back to the dojo, I left my bike there,” you said. 
You said bye to her, deciding to go on your phone and text your boyfriend. 
It wasn’t a lot longer that Tory and Miguel were leaving, something about her showing him how to get over Sam.
Now alone in the restaurant, you grabbed your bag, making your way out in hopes of spotting Eli. You barely walked into the mall before you knocked into him.
“Where’d you- what happened?” You quickly noticed the black eye, hands reaching up to cup his face. Your heart picks up at the thought that he got into a fight. 
He pushed your hands away and you frowned at that. “Let’s just go to the dojo,” he brushed past you, jaw clenched, eyes cold and forward. 
You were worried, only able to follow him as you made it to his car. Even inside, he didn’t tell you. 
“What happened?” You repeated. “You’re scaring me, Eli,” you gulped, glancing back out into the road.
“I’ll explain later, I just,” his fists clenched the steering wheel. 
You let out a shaky breath, nervous that he was driving while clearly under duress. Thankfully, the drive to the dojo wasn’t far and you were able to arrive just as the sun had set, the night sky settling above you.
“We fought Miyagi-Do and we lost,” he huffed, turning off the ignition and sitting back in defeat.
“Why would you fight Miyagi-Do?” You furrowed your brows. “Did they do something?”
His jaw ticked, exhaling. “Yeah, they did,” he looked over at you. “Demitri left a bad review about Cobra Kai like the pussy he is, we found him in the mall so we taught him a lesson,” he smirked. “Such a fucking traitor for joining Miyagi-Do after all the credit he took from Cobra Kai,” he scoffed.
You looked down, feeling guilty as you were aware that Demitri did join Miyagi-Do but then his words processed. “What do you mean taught him a lesson?” 
“I told him to take the review down or I’d take him down,” he shrugged like it was the most obvious thing to do. “Thought we were gonna win even when LaRusso and Keene showed up, but,” he huffed, not finishing his thought. 
You paused.
“You would hurt Demetri?” Your heart fell, realization dawning.
“That’s what you’re worried about?” He spat, annoyance laced in his voice.
You shook your head, stepping out of the car. 
“What the hell is your problem?” He walked over to you, grabbing onto your wrist and pulling you to face him.
You pulled away from his grasp. “You think a bad review warrants cornering your best friend at the mall?” You scoffed, raising your hands. 
“He asked for it when he joined Miyagi-Do!” He screamed. 
“Why does that matter?” You shouted back. 
“Because he’s a fucking nerd! He always will be!” 
You frowned, taking a step back. It broke your heart to see him believe that was a terrible thing, you tried so hard but you couldn’t defend it. “And being a nerd warrants being bullied?” You asked, tears welling in your eyes.
His fists clenched at his sides.
“Because it’s one thing to beat on assholes like Kyler, but Demitri?” You winced. “If you can turn on him, then who’s to say what you’d do to me?” You asked. 
His gaze softened and he reached for you. “You know I’d never hurt you,” he glanced down, anger returning when you avoided his touch. 
“You did when you hurt Demitri,” you stated. “I think we should take a break,” you wiped a stray tear, taking a few steps back. 
“Y/N, you’re crazy,” he stopped you by grabbing your wrist. “Are you really about to do this?” He realized, voice changing back to an icy cold. 
“Get your hand off me,” you gritted, ripping away from his grasp. “You’re not the Eli I remember falling in love with,” you said. 
“What happened to you saying you’ll love all of me?” He inhaled.
“I guess you managed to show me a side of you I don’t love,” you pressed your lips together. 
“No,” he shook his head. “We’re not ending things, not over him,” he gritted before pulling his shirt over his head. “Do you know what this means?” He pointed at the tattoo he got for you. 
“I do,” you nodded. “Clearly, you don’t because if you did, you wouldn’t have hurt Demitri,” you shuffled on your feet, backing away. “Goodbye, Hawk,” you swallowed before walking towards your bike.
He called after you, but you didn’t turn back. Instead, you biked home, tears streaming down your cheeks and your chest aching with a broken heart.
~
You cried all the way home and you tried your best to hide your tears when you entered your house but your mom was sitting in the living room when you entered.
“Eli and I broke up,” you didn’t try to hide it before falling into the comforting arms of your mom. 
“What happened?” She cradled you, rubbing your back soothingly. “I’m so sorry, honey,” she kissed the top of your head. 
“He hurt Demitri,” you sobbed, voice muffled by her shirt. “He attacked him at the mall and he didn’t care!” You looked up, tears streaming down your face uncontrollably. “I didn’t think he’d change this much, it hurts!” You clutched your chest, doubling over as another wave of sobs wracked through you.
“It’s okay, sweetie,” she cooed. “He was your first love, it’s normal to hurt. But you did the right thing,” she said. “If you felt it in your gut that you needed to end things, then that’s all that matters.” 
You were glad your father wasn’t home because you could only imagine how he’d say he was right about him. Probably saying “I told you so”.
But right now it was just you and your mom. 
The next morning, you made it to the dojo, nervousness filling you knowing you’d see Eli again.
“Are you okay?” Aisha asked, she and Tory were standing in front of you, worry on their faces. “What’s wrong?”
“Umm,” you scratched the back of your neck. “I ended things with Eli,” you breathed out, voice weighing heavy. 
“Shit, what happened?” Tory rubbed your arm reassuringly. 
You took a deep breath in but the bells signaled an arrival, you stopped when Eli and Miguel walked through. You made eye contact with him but when the girls saw who it was, they blocked you from his line of sight. 
Thankful, you took your place on the mat before class began.
You spent the rest of the class sparring with each other, practicing your techniques. You finished off with Tory, you scored more in the end but it was a close match. Now, you kneeled next to her, the class watching Eli and Miguel fight.
Miguel scored a point, hitting Eli in the stomach. Sensei ordered them to go again until the bells of the door jangled, signaling an arrival. 
Mr. LaRusso came storming in, pissed off, searching for Sensei you assumed.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Sensei asked. 
“Like you don’t know,” Mr. LaRusso sneered.
“Take your shoes off the mat. You’re disrespecting my dojo,” Sensei stalked over.
That pissed Mr. LaRusso even more. “You’re seriously gonna talk to me about disrespecting dojos after what you just did to mine?” He came face to face with Sensei, hurt and aggravation spread on his face.
“What are you talking about? I didn’t do anything to your dojo.” 
You watched as Eli and Miguel walked out of the way, but a look on Eli’s face gave you suspicion. 
“Just like you didn’t slug one of my employees, hug?” Mr. LaRusso said. 
You furrowed your brows.
“You know, part of me felt bad for you at one point, but you make it so easy to remember who the bad guy is in all of this,” he snickered. “You call yourself a sensei, you don’t even know what a sensei is. A sensei mentors, a sensei elevates. He doesn’t teach destruction and disrespect!” He shouted. 
Sensei narrowed his gaze. “I already said I don’t know what you’re talking about, LaRusso,” he stepped closer. “And I know you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about either.”
“Yeah, well I know you don’t- you don’t earn the Medal of Honor by stealing it,” Mr. LaRusso got choked up. 
You frowned, wondering what had happened.
“Let me tell you something about your sensei,” Mr. LaRusso began, taking a step back. 
Your attention was drawn back to him. 
“He may know how to fight, but he doesn't know what it takes to truly win at life,” he said. “If you want to get out before it’s too late, now’s your chance.”
“You think you can come here and poach my students?” Sensei spat. 
“And what are you gonna do about it? You know I’m not gonna strike first,” he smiled, almost enticing Sensei. 
Sensei came face-to-face, almost like he was going to strike first but he took a step back.
“I’m gonna be a bigger man,” Sensei said, shocking you.
“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” Mr. LaRusso said before walking out. 
A beat passed and you saw as Chris gathered his things.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Sensei asked. 
He didn’t respond until Mitch called after him, saying, “I never liked it here.”
You sympathized but the more students that began filing out, the louder your gut was screaming to follow. You stared at the mat for a second until you did. Tory tried to stop you but you sent her a look. 
“Woah, Miss L/N?” Sensei called after you.
“I joined Cobra Kai to fight assholes, not become one,” you said before you grabbed your bag, walking out, leaving the place where all your problems started.
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wackpedion · 4 months
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homestuck? on wiki's blog?? more likely than u think... this was conceptualized by me listening to Backmask by MSI on loop and i was like woah... this is like the the timetables owah........... (it rlly isnt)
originally this was gonna be a way more simple lyric art but i kinda got carried away and kept adding stuff, heress some older versions with less clutter
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