#wizard-posting

[swagbatical]

Hmm yes I see your point, and your reasoning is soundly backed up with evidence, however- I CAST FILL URETHRA WITH SAND

[council-for-demons]

Council For Demons and Demonic Activity

This is a council dedicated to helping you with your demonic activity, problems, possessions, and anything else! Like the wizard councils, but its demons.

Ask to join! You can join if you're full/part demon, or a demon expert! Current members: @succufaerie @f4y3w00d5 @ashen-the-tiefling @terrencetheshark14 @jhomikle @willowplantcat @aileaxthevoidien @uneven-daemon @therealghoulfather @captain-exclam @pentahook

[swagbatical]

I cast booty shaker

[redavexat]

[devious-buffoon]

Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I love you Safety Wizard.

(Inspired by @keroascrazy)

[swagbatical]

Hey has anyone seen my potion of eject bowels? It's the soothing pink one that farts out a little butt shaped cloud when you open it, so you know what it's about.

sure, i'll drink the pink swirly potion that released a little heart shaped cloud when you uncorked it. what's the worst that could happen

[telltaletypist]

look all i'm saying is if you've ever seen someone be healed with magic, congratulations! you've witnessed a practitioner of necromancy. it's the exact same thing. all you're doing at a fundamental level is using magic to accelerate existing biological processes and animate tissue, the only difference is when you do it to dead tissue instead of living tissue, suddenly it's evil scary ~dark magic~ instead of good wholesome healing. it's purely cultural bias.

so no i don't think it's fair to say i "lied on my application" since i'm just as qualified as anyone to heal your party, but hey if you want to be a fucking narc and report me to the wizard council go right ahead. good luck finding an accredited healer at the wages you're offering by the way

[wizard-of-weed]

just because music isnt playing doesnt mean im not listening to it

[queerlyvictorian]

Brennan Lee Mulligan arguing for the primal nature of morality on Ep. 40’s Fireside Chat is one of the funniest and realest things I’ve ever heard. He once again put into words what I have been trying to say for what feels like forever.

EDIT: No, I actually need to quote this out for myself.

“One of the things that happens a lot in philisophy that is, I think, a point of failure, potentially, in it, is that philosophy contains a lot of formal logic studies, and there’s a degree to want to sort of explicate, logically, everything, and go like, ‘What are the reasons and rationalities behind all of this?” But I think ignoring the primal origins of morality- You don’t need- If you watch someone kick a small animal, you don’t need an explanation for why that’s bad. It’s a first- It’s a primary thing, right? And you get into weird positions when you’re like, ‘I believe that humans should have good- be flourish and be happy, and have safety and joy!’ And someone can literally just go ‘Why? To what end? To what end should they have joy?’ And you’re like ‘Not to what end. I’m saying this is the end for me. The end for me is joy and safety and peace.’ And I get to say that because I’m a weird brain monster living in the universe and I can create meaning with my mind. You’re doing the same thing right now, but I just choose joy. Are you choosing something else? Because if you are, then we’re in conflict!” -Brennan Lee Mulligan, “Fireside Chat for WWW ep40 ‘Aid and Comfort’”

Choose joy, motherfucker! If you’re not, we’re in conflict!!!

[ryttu3k]

Does everyone know there is now a mod that exists solely to give Gale hayfever?

Because there is now a mod that exists solely to give Gale hayfever.

[swagbatical]

*I flop bleeding into the tavern, weak and pathetic. Groaning like the damned*

Tavern patron: "You're half dead! What happened, were you robbed?"

Me wearily: "No. I was . . ."

I pause for a moment considering the possible future impacts that disclosing my new sport "exploding knife ball" to the public, while the idea is still in its' infancy could have on the longevity and adoption of it.

". . . Ambushed. By bears. Twelve of them. Conjoined twins. Full body ones. All of them. They knew martial arts. And had guns. Big ones. The really loud kind. I'm amazed you didn't hear it."

I sigh as I go limp like the wilting flowers upon autumn's dawn

[hamletthedane]

I'm too much of a sucker for the tragedy of Wicked's ending to take any of this seriously, but the funniest possible fix-it concept is that Glinda just. Does not know. How the fuck. To send this 12yo back to Kansas. Like why the hell would she know how to do that?? Who thought it was a good idea to leave her in charge of this???

And from Dorothy's POV, this is such a funny concept: imagine for a minute that you (a child) wake up in a Fairy-Land, become best friends with a (possibly mentally unstable?) talking scarecrow, and are told by the god-kind that you must go murder his political rival before he'll send go home. Fine. This might as well happen.

And when you return from said murder - which is somehow successful - it turns out the god-king is a fraud and cannot help you. Whoops. Well, how about the OTHER seemingly most powerful person in the country? Ah, no....it turn out she had pretty limited powers in the magic department. And they're mostly bubble-related.

So she takes you (by bubble) to a tiny seaside town on the edge of the map to seek the help of her most powerful friends….the woman you just murdered and your scarecrow best friend who was an accomplice to that murder. And apparently, they’ve all three been dating since undergrad.

I mean, what do you even do with that.

[bashcrandicoot]

Thumbnails on wizard youtube

[samarajethwa]