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To ___

I paint peeled oranges

Ounces to cheap therapy(ies)

Red eyes my diagnosis

Cancer, a love worth battling for

Narcolepsy never looked so peaceful

Peppering freckles, trademarked by mejer

The Tounge behind your teeth while you laugh

Porcelain skin, textured with beauty

Cracked Bird pursed lips

Marionette pinkie fingers

Nail to skin

Pill to tongue

Orange is in the vein

Baby let me take the pain

Picking out seeds and stems

For oranges and greens

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Cancer

Maybe it’s the fast food, lack of eating, poor diet and lack of exercise with excessive caffeine intake. Or its the heartache thats spreading into my diaphragm.I feel my cancer kissing my arthritis, scratching my skin, tucking me in, feeding my every whim. I'm taking chemo for a disease thats curing me. Im sorry for the ever dividing cells helping me live. Helping me grow in a way my body stopped doing years ago. Is bald really beautiful? Is the weakness worth it? Are the hospital gowns and IV drips really giving me what my cancer and I need?

Who am I without my tumors?

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Why it kills me

I wade in water

Wounded,

Walking,

Eyes welling

Wondering

How the cold water works

Almost flowing through me

Smooth and constant

Willingly wishing

To abide by the waveform

Wading weaker

And worn willpower

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Black beaked

Blue headed

Red winged

Pecking at grass

Across the spackle of purple

Haunting in Midst of it all

Getting used to seeing through squints

Gnawing at gnats

Soliloquy ; me

My dad's WD-40 ;30 decible rustling

Or the car behind me

The dew is your residue

Resting on blades of green

To the windows of my soul

Misty eyed for the missed and tried

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Drywall

My Id and super ego

Said Pain is a commonality

Bridge the gap with something we know

Especially when I'm the liability

Practice makes perfect

a present wrapped in the wrong ribbons

Paved my skin's Ineffable prospect

239 plus four more wrong reasons

Love languages need rehab

I can't stop, Gift wrapping

A practice I never had

A hug from my stinging

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Chicken Scratch

Poor penmanship

Steady and indecent

Ripping up paper

As ink seeps through

illegible writing

On top of sun bleached words

The same phrase

Again and again

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401k

I think I'm barefoot again.

Sitting on the edge of the bed

Playing poker

Swimming

Turning pages in an almanac

Reading my electrical bill

Buying some flower seeds and oats

Theres no hobby

Only a beloved 401K

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Have you ever wanted to feel your tetanus shot work

The rust throbbing with your blood flow

Tapping to a cynical beat

Arms raised and surrendered

Belly up

Undeserving praise by the people

Loosened ego to something like yourself

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Through my maiden

Trickles through the laces

Drips from my Marie

Predestined disgraces

Model your maker

See refracted faces

No one made me

The wine ever stains lace

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Richard Jackson, from "After All This"

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Warm, congealed and bled through

I'm not drying

Nor cursing

Merely changing my bandages

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Lunar was my go to until I saw jupiter

Made me go crazy and I got stupider

I wax and wane for a lack of blame

Please see me jupiter

Bask in UV rays so you see me

Riptides have mercy but jupiter still cant see me

Celestial object ajurn my life laws

Im at my knees counting the stars flaws

Constilations keep him busy and I guess so do the phases

I like going steady month after month

Itd just be nice for you to notice me already

Jupiter, too fast for your own good

I love the moon but youre misunderstood

Fourth in the solar system

objective wisdom

Past stars,

look farther

look farther

look farther

look farther

Dreaming of jupiter to not salute her

Youre hard to miss but so far away

Only this decade on this day

will I be able to see jupiter

and not see him stay with her

Ill just keep sending satellites

And letting luna churn electrolytes

Apolo my savior

I guess let jupiter save her

Look farther

look farther

look farther

look farther

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Holy trinity of emotional ecstasy

Sweethearts forgotten emotional intimacy

Your new type of despair,

Manic pixie dream girl with dyed hair.

And he doesn't care

He doesn't care

He doesn't care

Letting the cobwebs encompass me

Time allows for it's purpose, bleed

Rotting away from the bone

Gnawing at the god forsaken telephone

He doesn't care

He doesn't care

He doesn't care

Plastic lady bug hair pieces

Picked up from corpses' fetus

Its old time beloved

17 and misjudged

Put the pieces in your hair

He doesn't care

He doesn't care

He doesn't care

Doesn't he care

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Hashed out and in ribbons I beg for your forgiveness

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Ridding the residue of you

Scraping off my height

Landlords special to an empty home

Decorating my nest of concrete

You're sunbleached on every wall

Novice to newfound primer

Wednesday's ash over the door

Hoarding dust bunny babies