#without outing them as platonic married couples with arrangements with the other platonic married couple in the next house over

[marveloustimestwo]

love your hcs!! can i request more game of thrones, preferably the starks? platonic or romantic!

Thank you so much! I'm glad you like them! I went for Robb because he's one of my favorites in Game of Thrones.

Warnings: Yandere themes, a couple mentions of death, but not at all graphic.

Across the board, platonic or romantic, Robb is overprotective, clingy, and possessive.

He's a very loyal and naturally protective person. When he loves someone, he's going to do all that he can to make sure that they're safe and cared for.

In a platonic sense, he's going to view you as a little sibling, whether you're blood-related or not. He almost immediately demands you be taken in if you're not. He leaves no room for argument, and considering how stubborn he can be, his parents give in pretty easily.

I can easily also see him calling you his best friend as well as a sibling, which means that he'll want to spend a lot of time with you.

Robb will demand you have the room next to him so that you're closer and more easily accessible. He'll also make sure everything is up to his pretty high standards so that you're comfortable and well cared for.

And if anyone dares say you're not actually his sibling or best friend, he's not afraid to challenge them to a fight. He'll rough them up a bit more than necessary, too, just to let the message sink in.

In a romantic sense, once Robb gets an inkling of affection for you, he'll fall pretty fast and hard.

Robb grew up seeing his parents have this fairytale-like love and he strives to have that sort of thing with you.

He'll go about courting you in a very romantic manner. He brings you your favorite flowers, asks you to go on walks or on a horse ride alone with him, compliments you all the time, and tries his hardest to win all of the sparring matches he has with Theon and Jon when you're around.

(And not that you'll ever know this, but he goes out of his way to scare off any other potential suitors you have. Sometimes he might threaten them himself, but other times he'll pay a guard or two to do the dirty work.)

Robb wants you to see him as honorable, strong, and brave. He never wants you to fear him.

And he can be pretty good about being normal. If his father is still around, he'll be pretty persistent in convincing him to arrange a marriage with you, even if you're a commoner or a bastard.

Once Robb becomes King of the North, he won't really care what anyone else thinks. He's going to marry you, end of story.

He's pretty convincing when it comes to you. Any doubts or protests you have about the idea will be reasoned away because Robb will hammer in the idea that he is hopelessly in love with you.

Robb could not care less if you were born a bastard or anything else. Once he's as obsessed as he is with you, he'd go to hell and back to protect and love you.

And Grey Wind would be just as protective. The giant dire wolf would follow you anywhere, especially when Robb isn't able to be near you.

The two are psychically connected, so you'll have a giant wolf who will see any new and not directly trusted person as a threat. After all, Grey Wind is basically just Robb if he didn't hold himself back all the time.

Given the level of Robb's obsession, no one can get within fifteen feet of you without getting snapped at.

Still, Robb isn't all that bad. When it comes to you, he's very loving, kind, and loyal. He will never give you any reason to doubt his devotion to you.

If you ignore the number of people you know he would and has killed for you, it's actually a pretty nice time.

[sunmaylight]

Househusband Kafka? AU

((Edit: added a title to this piece))

I’ve started watching Kaiju No. 8 and have a plunny idea

Househusband Kafka who is legally married to Mina. Those two can be romantically married or platonically married and have picked up all the signed of a happily married couple without realizing it. Aka, “Because this is my First Life” k-drama (even though I haven’t gotten too far into it and they are both working young adults)

Canon happens as normal…to the extent that Mina knows that Kafka can turn into a Kaiju, but thinks that it is a slow transformation happening to him. She has the idea that it is reversible and pushes Kafka to be seen by the Kaiju experts and doctors to get the transformation reversed. Even though Kafka already knows that it might be impossible to reverse this at all.

More thought out stuff below

Pre-Marriage

Kafka and Mina unexpectedly reunited one day in the middle of Mina’s career. It would have been a joyful reunion if it wasn’t for the fact that both smelt like Kaiju extract.

The two met as Kafka was cleaning up a Kaiju and Mina is tasked with looking out for the cleanup crew in case if the corpse had any hidden failsafe organs. There was one, the Kaiju had a function of releasing extract as a spray and had it loaded up before it was killed. It sprayed only on Kafka and Mina. Luckily there is a public shower area nearby, so the two were able to get cleaned up quickly. They used the time waiting for transportation to pick them up to catch up. Before leaving they exchanged numbers

Time goes on, the two meet when they can until it get to the point where people recognize Mina in public. As a figure for Kaiju extermination, there are mixed reactions people have for her. Especially a significant sponsor who thinks that Mina should be married already and offers one of his children as a candidate.

Mina complains about this to Kafka when they are hanging out at her house with food and drinks. Then a flash of inspiration strikes Kafka. He suggests that the two become legal partners. That way, if someone tries something like that to Mina again then she has an excuse to refuse them. Her coworker can know about the two’s arrangement as well for a good laugh. Plus if she ever finds someone she wants to actually date, then they can divorce. Also taxes.

Plan in motion early in the morning and with alcohol in their veins, the two draft a contract and legal certificate. That includes mundane things such as rent, groceries, cooking (Kafka cooks for 80% of the time and Mina cooks when she can if she wants to. The 20% is if they can’t stomach food that day), etc; to the more Kaiju related insurances polices, visitation rights, and what kind of ceremony do they want to do. When they wake up, they both have a killer migraine and a crude drawing of Bakko for some reason. (The drawing has a special place on the fridge)

Post-Marriage

For the two of them, it feels as though nothing much changes about their relationship besides living together now with Bakko the giant white tiger. The tiger gets spoilt by Kafka and Mina tried but fails to fix Bakko’s behavior whenever the tiger sees Kafka after work. That is, pouncing on Kafka and licking his face a lot.

Outsiders notices things differently however. They are domestic.

When Mina forgot to bring a lunch one day at work and was going to get something from the canteen, Kafka somehow arrives at her office with two matching lunchboxes. She brings him to the canteen and others just watch as the two eat lunch while talking about Kaiju, what does Mina want to eat for dinner, chores, walking Bakko, and grocery request to pick up on the way home?!

When Kafka is about to enjoy some pudding during work, Mina barges in wearing sunglasses and Kafka’s hoodie. She then grills him about hiding the pudding at home. He argues that she shouldn’t have an entire cup of pudding every day, She argues back he shouldn’t do that as well. The two compromise in a corner of the break room and are seen pouting while sharing Kafka’s cup of pudding. Kafka’s coworkers let the two be since they are used to Mina’s unannounced visits.

While working, it is uncommon to see Kafka call Mina while she is being transported to a certain location during a Kaiju attack. If one listens in, they can hear her debating with Kafka on the best place to shoot the Kaiju. It is always 50/50 on who wins the debate since more often than not it is cut off when Mina arrives at her destination.

However, Mina calling Kafka while he is on his way to a clean up location is more common. She gives him info what to look out for when taking care of the Kaiju corpse that she noticed in battle. He then asks if she noticed anything else unique about the Kaiju. If she wasn’t in the battle, the two gush about the fight and distinguishing characteristics about the Kaiju. The information that Kafka learns helps reduce the work related accidents compared to other clean up crew teams. He even scores employee of the month a few times.

In the dead of night if there are no Kaiju attacks, Kafka and Mina sometimes spend the nights holding each other or sleeping with Bakko when things are too much. If they remember the disaster of their hometown, if either of them had a horrible day where someone they know died during a Kaiju attack, or even nightmares.

There are times when the two get into an argument about Kafka not being in the Defense Force yet/applying for another job in the Defense Force that doesn’t require him being in the front lines frequently. They both don’t talk about Kafka not applying for the Defense Force as they both hold onto that dream.

Canon

((My knowledge isn’t that great. I’m only watching the anime so far and they are concluding the fungus Kaiju. So take these what ifs instead))

When Mina arrived home after Kafka gains the ability to turn into a Kaiju, she and Bakko are greeted with the sight of Kafka cooking while using a tail as well. Instincts kick in and Mina has Kafka pinned on the ground with her weapon. Kafka tries to calm her down but it just stresses her out and stresses him out more in turn. The stress builds until Kafka ends up with a tail, sharp mouth, and an arm transformed before Ichikawa calls to remind Kafka to be careful not to transform in public. Mina then looks at Kafka horrified for him and thinks of what to do when Kafka interrupts Mina. He tells her not to worry, this might be a good thing in achieving his dream.

In the end, Mina decides to keep quiet about Karla’s partial transformations and for the Defense Force to pay special attention to the recruits of this batch. She doesn’t realize that Kafka can transform into Kaiju No. 8

As Kafka works as a cadet the Defense Force staff treats him differently. Before, he is somewhat known to the staff members as Mina’s “household-husband” and is treated as a giant teddy bear sometimes, but now as a cadet, he witnesses how strict these people are. It is exciting for him, he wonders if this was how Mina was treated while rising the ranks.

Besides Leno Ichikawa, the others in their group have no idea that Kafka and Mina are technically married and are roommates. They find out that the two live together when the group runs into Mina and Bakko while training. Bakko pounces on Kafka and licks him then once he is up, Kafka asks Mina what does she want for dinner like he does whenever he drops by the base before. Oblivious to the reveal he accidentally dropped, Kafka runs ahead of the group with Leno. The two jog and discuss about last week’s Kaiju attack when Mina jumps in and argues about a certain characteristic of the Kaiju that she thinks fits one type instead of the other. All three end up oblivious to the group they left behind.

[archive-of-artprompts]

💞 Romance! Send in a number + character/s, and I'll draw/write them with that Romance Novel trope 💞

(Tropes from TV tropes 📺)

Everyone Wants Bad Boys: It tends to be more exciting and dramatic if the character falls for the rebellious, rough-hewn outsider.

Arranged Marriage: A common technique in historicals to force the main characters to deal with each other.

Authoritative in Public, Docile in Private: A character with a domineering personality is depicted as submissive in their romantic relationships.

Beautiful All Along: The character will often be described as plain (or think of themself as plain), then gets a make-over that reveals them as stunningly beautiful.

Broken Bird: Characters love to see the healing power of love.

Cannot Spit It Out: In some novels, an extreme importance is placed on the act of uttering the words "I love you".

Cinderella Plot: The main character has fallen on rough times, often with an abusive and uncaring guardian/employer.

Costume Porn: If a character's outfits are described, they will be in extreme detail.

Crazy in the Head, Crazy in the Bed: A character's eccentricity or outright insanity adds to their romantic and sexual appeal.

Damsel in Distress: Character A often gets into some sort of trouble so that Character B can rescue them.

Damsel out of Distress: In some cases, Character A will actually try to get themself out of trouble; it varies as to whether they’re successful.

Faux Action Girl: A character who is either blatantly lying or in deep denial when they insist they can "take care of themselves".

First Love: The main couple will often be this to each other; if they had other relationships prior to this, it will often be stated they didn't truly love their exes.

The Grovel: A character has hurt or betrayed another, usually their love interest. The offender eventually decides that they cannot live without their love interest or learns that they were terribly mistaken about them. But how to make it up to them? How to convince them to take you back? By groveling

Happily Ever After: The characters get to live happily in the end.

The Four Loves - Agape (Unconditional Love): Love that brings forth caring for the other regardless of circumstance.

The Four Loves - Eros (Romance): Love in the sense of "being in love". (This is distinct from sexuality — platonic Courtly Love is also Eros.)

The Four Loves - Philia (Friendship) : Friendship is a strong bond existing between people who share a common interest or activity.

The Four Loves - Storge (Affection/Family) : This is fondness through familiarity, especially among family members or people who have otherwise found themselves together by chance.

The Ingenue: A character portrayed as innocent and kind-hearted, but also sheltered and unworldly with a tendency to get into danger.

Lovable Rogue: This character is simultaneously desirable and off-putting or threatening.

One-Hour Work Week: The leads usually spend more time making googly eyes at each other than working, which doesn't seem to affect their job performance.

One True Love: The couple are often presented as this, as it's the ultimate romantic ideal.

Perilous Marriage Proposal: The protagonist will often be proposed to in dangerous or nonideal circumstances, whether or not it's the one they’re supposed to marry.

Pretty Boy: If the hero's not a hunk, they’ll probably be this; handsome in a delicate, youthful manner. Particularly in historical romance, there's a good chance they'll be a Long-haired Pretty Boy too.

Roll in the Hay: A couple on a farm will make love in a hay barrack.

Romantic Fake–Real Turn: One person pretends to love another, or two pretend to love each other, then they fall in love for real.

Star-Crossed Lovers: The universe seems to be conspiring to keep the leads apart, though it's unusual for them to not end up together anyway.

Summer Romance: Frequently employed, sometimes as an entire plot or the trigger of one.

True Love Is a Kink: When romantic attraction and carnal attraction are one and the same.

[dragbunart]

I've always wanted Fiadg to have some bee motifs because of their importance to Irish far lore, but until the recent Helluva Boss episode couldn't figure out how to do it. But using Beelzebub as a base for how you can mix bee and animal designs I was able to do it.

I've also been workshopping her character and backstory

Just me rambling about my Oc under the cut (So, If you don't like ocXcanon you don't have to read it)

Fiadh, or Fianait Shields was a Cambion (half-demon, Half-human) who was born and raised in Ireland. She belonged to a very secluded community that worshipped Fae, their main god being this Horned God. Spoiler, the Horned god is the Demon Furfur.

Fianait's mother and Furfur ended up spending a night together before her mother's wedding to another man. Because she looks so much like her mom, no one realized the man raising her wasn't her biological father.

Her mother ends up passing while she was very young, and her father didn't have time for her, especially during the summer when she was out of school. So she's sent to live with her Uncle in New Orleans while she's on break.

This is where she meets a young Alastor. They end up becoming very close friends.

They grow up together during the summers until Fianait's about 15, when she has a bunch of stuff for their religion she has to complete. This includes having to meet her arranged betrothed. Who is... A questionable choice in personality. Fianait was already pretty shy and quiet, being more of a wallflower than anything else, and her arranged marriage partner is... Abusive at best. He causes her to become even quieter and retreat even further into her shell, almost to the point of being mute.

She finds a minor escape by becoming an Army Nurse during the Great War (WW1), which delays her wedding. This is where she meets Alastor again, whose been drafted. Alastor had been shot in the leg, and it takes them a second to realize this person who just seems familiar is their childhood friend.

When Alastor sees she's gotten even more weary of the world and hears about her situation, he offers to marry her and take her back to America. He does this A) because he is genuinely worried about his friend, and B) He's always been a bit possessive (Can be seen as Platonic or Romantic) of Fianait.

The plan, (or so Alastor says) is for Fianait to marry him and live with him until she can get her citizenship and a job. Build a stable life for herself, then they can divorce and she doesn't have to worry about her family dragging her back to Ireland for her arranged marriage.

They spend the first few years pretty happy in their arrangement. They cook and eat together. Fianait helps the upkeep of Alastor's house, even after she gets a detective job for the police. And Alastor becomes a popular radio host... And a Serial killer.

Fianait's ex-fiance had tried to harass the couple into divorcing and sending her back, but after he went a little too far Alastor killed him. Between that, the war, and members of Fianait's family, who had also begun harassing him, he developed a taste for murder. And he keeps it fairly well hidden for a while.

But Fianait catches him... Mid kill, covered in blood. Alastor is frozen caught between killing her or figuring out some other way to keep his secrets. And Fianait... Just stares at the situation. As an officer, she should arrest him, or report him. But she loves him, and he saved her. And her loyalty to him outways her responsibility to her job. She helps him get rid of the evidence and ignores his crimes from then on.

This carries on more or less, for years until Alastor's death. Which was a complete accident. Alastor was killed by a confused hunter who mistook him for a deer. And Fianait losses her mind. Over time Alastor had made sure she was dependent on him, so she doesn't know how to function without him as her rock.

She continues his killings and pins them on his killer as an act of revenge. She then takes her own life using a mix of shrooms and opioids.

When she ends up in hell she meets her biological father, Furfur, but she has trouble connecting with him, despite his adoration of her. With most sinners going by a different name she lost hope that she'd ever find Alastor again.

This is when Bee shows up. Her energetic personality reminds Fiadh of her lost husband. So she latches onto Beezelbub as a lifeline. Bee realizes that Fiadh needs someone to lean on and becomes almost a mother to her. Encouraging her to enjoy herself in hell.

Fiadh comes out of her shell the tiniest bit, eventually singing in front of people at Bee's parties (mostly older songs or postmodern jukebox-type covers). When she's on stage she imitates her husband's old attitude, knowing his personality drew people to enjoy his performances. It's her way of keeping his memory alive in her.

She and Alastor meet again by accident in Cannibal Colony. Fiadh had been booked at Mimzy's club as an act. Alastor had been in the area and wanted to check on his friend and recognized his childhood friend-turned-wife's voice immediately. He meets her backstage and makes tiny comments about New Orleans or the 1920s to double-check she is who he thinks she is, and when this proves true... He calls her by a nickname only he used to call her.

The pair are very happy to be reunited and largely go back to how they interacted before Alastor's death. Fiadh splits her time between the ring of Gluttony, her father's place to learn her birthright, and Alastor's homes. For the first time in her existence, she's surrounded by so much love she can truly enjoy herself. She loves the life she made for herself.

[itsmeridadunbroch]

Task Eleven → Intro & Connections

merida dunbroch

Character Information*

The Basics*

FULL NAME: merida dunbroch

NICKNAME: mer, red

GENDER: female

PRONOUNS: she/her

AGE: twenty-nine

OCCUPATION: manager at the redwood hollows parks and recs department

FACECLAIM: riley keough

ORIENTATION: straight

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single

PETS: a horse called angus and a dog named mordu

The Personality*

+ Adventurous, Determined, Independent 

-  Rebellious, Stubborn, No-Nonsense

after arriving in redwood hollow, merida found a role in the parks and recs department. she’s spent her time restoring the town’s parks and other areas that needed a new lease of life and it brought her more happiness  than home ever could. merida is adventurous and determined to be her own person which can lead to her being stubborn at times in the face of  authority and can have her rebellious streak rear its head. like a true scotswoman she doesn’t take any crap from anyone.

merida is a child of the wild, she always has been. she thrives outdoors and has always been someone that bends the rules. fun is a big part of her personality and if she’s not having it then buckle up. freedom is another. merida really exercises her freedom and hates being put into a box or being bossed around and told what to do.

Additional Notes*

has a strained relationship with her mother, she hasn’t spoken to her in years

strong scottish accent present in her voice – may be hard for people to understand at times, especially when she’s angry.

has triplet younger brothers – harris, hubert & hamish

doesn’t speak bear

Wanted Connections*

friends

ex’s

neighbours

work colleagues

lover/crush

besties

hiking buddies

buds from scotland

people she met while travelling

rich people - her family are rich af and merida has likely met them at past events

Wanted Plots / Plot Ideas*

merida and ____ are friends. neither of them have had much luck with relationships so they decide to platonically begin to hookup. it’s fun to explore and get experience with each other without all the expectations and pressure. however, they both start to develop feelings over time, and both assume it’s unrequited.

here one day, gone the next - a previous international relationship where merida was travelling and lived for some time she met _____. the relationship was all consuming and full of sparks, but eventually merida had to go back to scotland a few months later. ______ wanted to try long distance but merida had called things off and was gone the next day. now she’s settled in redwood hollow and look who else is in town, it’s only _____. ((a plot about differences, a whirlwind past relationship, angst of leaving, unresolved feelings and being forced to revisit, relive and resolve said past relationship)) 

we’re the Old Married Couple™ but lmao no we would never date each other. right? right?????!!!?

before sunrise - strangers meet, they have a connection, but it has an expiration date

“i found your box of letters underneath my bed last night and because i’m a nosy motherfucker i decided to read them and it turns out they were all addressed to me and the last one was dated the day you moved out and i’m not quite sure why i thought this would be a good idea but here i am, standing on your doorstep, wondering why the fuck we’re not together anymore”

an arranged marriage between the dunbrochs & ______ family. but like merida’s clearly being stubborn and rebellious and fucking up because she’s upset with her parents still trying to control her life and it’s just two polar opposites but it could be super cute sometimes when she gets super drunk and he picks her up and hold her hair back when he throws up and stays up to give her a glass of water and make sure she sleeps well even though he has a huge meeting in the morning that he should be resting for, and she makes him lil packed lunches for work and has him dancing in the living room to de-stress and holds court at his works parties winning over his boss to give him that promotion but also the angst and the fights and the ‘i didnt ask for this’ and making each other jealous and sexual tension.

Taken Connections*

tbh all merida’s taken connections have now left the rp so she’s wide open for her to get on the map

Other*

One character from the open tag you would like to see taken / added to the Most Wanted page -  from the most wanted page - the lost boys & from the open tag to be added to the most wanted page - sebastian clarke

One Character you want to see a bio for in relation to this specific character - more brave characters #scotlandrepresentation 

[adrianasunderworld]

Someone brought up Prince Florian slander and I am here for it! I really don’t like him. Yes Disney romances usually have an age gap. But take Philip and Aurora there’s only a four year age difference between them, which might be cringy to some people but like… It’s not that bad? Like at least when their parents arranged the marriage he probably understood the situation as much as baby Aurora since he either just turned four or was three so… Also Cinderella’s is 19 and her prince is 21. Two years, pretty normal…

Florian is out here at thirty one saying his heart belongs to a 14 year old girl….

I remember in one of my writing classes a classmate presented a short story where Florian was there to court Queen Grimhilde and instead of praising her, she looks outside and sees him instead saw him proclaiming his heart to her step-daughter… I think about that once a month or so… just… just why does that work so well? Even in the Disney Snow White…

Also!

Most of the princes do something?! Like Philip saved Aurora, Cinderella’s prince tried to look for her- what did Florian do? Show up after the Dwarfs built her coffin- Didn’t event help put it together cause he only came to check out a rumor that the fairest maiden was in a glass coffin. My dude you rode in a month later with Starbucks and asked the people that did have jobs but agreed to give up those jobs so they could forever be by your one true loves side in death to open her coffin so you could kiss her…But sure… sing your one song, the Forrest animals and the dwarfs will be busy making the coffin and keeping vigil at her side, come see if she’s really dead when you get a chance…

I think most of the Disney age gaps are at most a 2-3 or 4 ish years. Which I'm not here to debate age gaps of fictional characters in the fictional past. But for the most part they are somewhat reasonable, it's just Snow White and Florian that is the weird outlier here. Which while we're on the subject, where the hell are these numbers coming from? Like in some movies they clearly state a characters age. Like Ariel stating she is sixteen. Or in more modern movies, like princess and the frog onwards we have official ages. But all the other ones feel like guess work. Unless the people worked on them have outright said it. I've heard the whole Florian being 30 thing is taken from some concept stuff but it was never official. Idk I would have to look it up. Also if it was, Disney has to have recon that and changed it by now, right? Idk but it is a weird choice regardless.

Even if the whole age thing was not a factor, it's almost sad, because Phillip is what they wanted Florian to be. But the animators didn't yet have the skill set to make him the hero they wanted. They originally wanted a whole side plot when the queen captures him, I think so he can't find snow or to force him to marry the queen or something. And then he escapes. But Snow White was their first feature length film. Before it was all the classic rubberhose animation style. So they were still figuring when they made the movie and found animating Florian too difficult and scrapped all that. And couple decades later, Phillip got everything. He got his capture and locked in a dungeon escape adventure that they wanted to do. Rip Florian.

Also I know people love to point out that Phillip and Florian kissed these girls without their consent. Which is valid to be uncomfortable with. But there is a big difference between the two. Merryweather, when she lessens the curse into a sleeping spell, she explicitly says it can only be undone with true loves kiss. All these powerful fairy ladies are telling him that's what he's gotta do to save the girl he loves. Wtf else do you want him to do? The platonic true love twist was not as popular in the 50s idk what you what you want me to tell you. Meanwhile Florian didn't know that. He didn't have that information that his kiss will wake her. All he knows is that girl he sang a song with once is in a glass coffin, and has been for a while. She's probably dead. "How shall I express my grief?... I shall kiss the corpse!" He has no context for anything going on, this is just what he decided to do. Florian is probably the Disney prince most deserving of slander. Because if you ever think about him for more than five minutes, he never comes out looking good. I can't defend him.

[vbpotter]

Malfoy (James Potter x reader)

Warnings: Angst 

A/n : I take requests <3

We all love someone . They say, that loving someone is the best feeling. They say that loving someone feels like you are floating in the air, their thoughts clouding your mind. They say that loving someone is peaceful, because you have finally found your home. They say that Loving someone is like having something to heal you, to carry you, to encourage you. They say that loving someone is worth living for. 

But, only a few people know what it is like to not be loved. Only some people know what it feels like. Only some people know how much it hurts. Only some people know how it feels to be ignored, to be the second choice, to not be loved by your family, to not be loved by the person you have handed your heart to. Only some people know how much it hurts to be not loved , to always be the second choice, to always be the least preferred one, to always be not enough, to always be a disappointment, to live with no love. 

Someone who knew exactly how it felt like was Y/n Malfoy. 

Yes..... Y/n Malfoy. 

The Youngest Malfoy of the family. 

Now..... Growing up as the only daughter of the family, and not to mention the youngest child would have been easy, right?  especially if you are from a rich family who has high standards and is very respectable, having elves to do your work left and right, to be raised like a princess?  

Yes.... She was raised like a princess..... But not a normal princess..... She was raised as Rapunzel. 

Trapped in a tower,  hidden from the outside world , learning everything that the people of the tower taught her, believing that what the people of the tower said was always true ..... Until one day, she decided to know what the outside world was. 

So she ran, escaped from under dozens of gazes, unseen. And..... For the first time in her life, she saw something worth looking at. 

She happily skipped around, looking at the trees filled with flowers, that were so different from the dark trees surrounding her Manor. She saw beautiful birds chirping , multi coloured birds that were so different than the white peacocks that she usually saw at Malfoy Manor. She saw the sky, light blue with different shapes of clouds floating in it,  it was so different than the dark ceiling of the Malfoy Manor. 

She smiled and ran,  admiring the scenery around her. That is when she reached an open area, that she guessed was a playground. She saw a couple with a young boy. That was the time five year old Y/n Malfoy met James Potter for the first time. 

Since that day, Y/n would sneak out from Malfoy Manor every evening for an hour, during the time when her mum was at her daily Tea Party with her friends, her father in his library and her brother playing the piano. 

She and James would play on the swings and chat happily. She even got to know his parents, Fleamont and Euphemia Potter,  who were very happy that James had someone to play with ,since they lived in a large Manor at the edge of a small forest .

Everything went smoothly, until one day, her brother caught her sneaking out. That was probably the worst day of Y/n's life .She still vividly remembered her brother's harsh glare, her parents' disappointed looks and the punishment she received afterwards. That was the first time Y/n had been tortured with the Cruciatus Curse, not knowing that she would be receiving more of it in the future. 

The Malfoys were forced to move away , since - the Dark Lord ordered them to .

Malfoy Manor was then established at an even worse place, in the Middle of a Dark Forest , its location unknown to everyone. Even Y/n didn't know in which part of the world they were living in , but, the life of the six year old Y/n was already ruined. 

The next five years of her life were the worse. She felt as if she was trapped even more tightly in the tower, like Rapunzel. 

There were house elves around her room every hour of the day. She was forced to wear long and puffy dresses , which she hated . She was forced to go to fancy Balls and meet new people, mainly boys her age. She hated it, her parents were determined to get her married at a young age to a respectable boy form a  pure blood family, so that they didn't have to deal with her anymore. It was disgusting. They were trying to arrange or even engage a six year old with a boy her age, or even quite older than her. 

She hated their ideas. She would wince, whenever someone talked about Muggles and Muggleborns.....in such a way t-that even the worst person in the world didn't deserve to be t-talked to or about. She had snapped at such people many times, and she had been punished...... The same number of many times. So much, that the cruciatus curse didn't hurt her anymore. 

Her parents couldn't kill her, nor disown her. Because , the dark lord said that young children were valuable and that they would be useful for his army in the future .

Y/n still remembered ,the day when she was united with James Potter. She was on the Hogwarts Express , going to Hogwarts for the first time. Her parents had just lectured her about not to talk to 'filthy people ' and her brother had left her with a harsh glare , running towards the prefects compartment where he was to be sitting. 

Y/n sighed after her brother left her with another of his classic Malfoy glares. She looked around and headed forward, searching for a compartment with the least people or no people at all. She finally found one, only one person was sitting in there. 

" Hey! Can I sit here? " Y/n asked. The person who was staring out of the window looked at her, and Y/n felt her throat dry down when she was met by a familiar pair of Hazel eyes, only this time - they were covered by thick round glasses. 

"J-James ?" Y/n muttered, her voice shaking. 

" Y-Y/n?" The boy asked and Y/n felt a wave of Happiness overcome her. 

And then after years, the two long separated friends embraced each other in a warm hug. But, James didn't know that Y/n was ten times more happier to see him than he was to see her. 

As Y/n, now in her 7th year,  sat in the couch of Gryffindor common room, she felt herself smile as she was reminded of the memory. 

Y/n was sorted into Gryffindor, giving her parents and brother another reason to hate her. 

She and James were quick to become close friends again , and soon, they were joined by Sirius, Remus and Peter - the 5 of them, together being the Marauders. 

Since First year, James was obsessed over Lily , Y/n's fellow roommate. She and Lily weren't friends, per say, but - they didn't hate each other either. The two would always have small conversations and would often discuss their homework notes together. 

Y/n never opposed to the idea of her best friends chasing after Lily . She always encouraged him to go forward , she always encouraged him that he could do it . But , It was in her fourth year did she realize that what she felt towards James wasn't just friendship . She realized that the little weigh she felt on her shoulders after hearing him ramble about Lily  was not tiredness , she realized that the little churning of her stomach around him , the blush she got when he flirted with her without even realizing it .......all of it , was not just platonic ........at least not for her . 

But, she didn't act Bitchy like others would have in this situation. She didn't get angry when James ditched her loads of times just to try to spend time with the red Head. She didn't get annoyed when he treated her like one of the boys.

All she did was smile. She plastered a fake smile on her face and encouraged him to keep going, to try and get the Red Head. 

But, even though she felt the weight of the whole world on her shoulders, even though she felt her heart sink down day by day - she was happy. She was Happy for her best friend.She was happy when she saw him progress on the Red Head he had been chasing after, She felt happy when he was happy. And..... She knew that she shouldn't be Selfish. She had accepted her fate long ago, she had accepted that she and James weren't meant to be together. She had accepted that she had to stay with this weight her entire life. But a little part of her ...........It told her that she could at least hope  ...................But then , another part of her told her that she was useless and worthless, nothing but a waste of space . And Oh-How it crumbled her .

Despite it all, Y/n always stood by him. She stood by him when he cried , she stood by him when he felt like he was not good enough , she stood by him when he needed to hold someone ..........he held onto her and she never complained . 

James didn't know, but, he had landed all the weight of his life and feelings on the girl, and it broke her. But she still stood by him, every time, as a friend,  never asking for anything, never asking for more, never caring about herself, never wanting anything other than helping him,  even though her whole existence was the thing she needed help with.

She didn't only stand up alongside James. She stood up for Peter when he was bullied and body shamed for being fat. She comforted him when he cried. 

She stood by Remus when he felt like he was a monster. She was the one to help him along with the other Marauders during the full moons .She was the one who would heal Remus's wounds in the middle of the night, in the early morning, or whenever Remus felt like he wanted someone to heal is wounds and whisper soothing words in his ear. She was the one who taught Remus that you always have something worth living for, even though she herself didn't know why she was living. 

She stood with Sirius when he was disowned, when His Brother hated him, when Sirius felt like he was a mistake, a disappointment.

Despite, she never had anyone to hold onto . Her parents and brother , who were supposed to be her family, treated her like a piece of trash . She was alone , but she never showed it . Just because she didn't want to be a burden , just because she didn't want to be Selfish .

Sirius and Remus knew about her feelings for James,  the two could look through her smile completely. Peter was an oblivious person and he never knew what was going on, but still, the three of them always were there to cheer her up , but - none of them saw the completely broken her. 

Y/n looked around the Gryffindor common room she was currently sat in. She looked at the time and realized that the boys should have been back from their daily "boys time" by now.

Just as the thought crossed her mind,  The portrait hole of the Common room opened and in came Remus , Sirius and Peter,  laughing loudly. 

" Good evening, gentleman. You are 5 minutes late " Y/n said,  folding her hands over her chest and showing the three her watch. The three gave her guilty smiles and settled themselves on the couches around her . 

" Guys.... Where is James? " Y/n asked looking around. Sirius and Remus exchanged a look and avoided looking at her . Peter was sitting as if he didn't know what was going on , like always.

The next second The Portrait Hole opened and In walked James and Lily, their arms wrapped around each other and their clothes and hair looking disheveled and.... Both of them had the biggest smile on their faces. 

Y/n saw , as James led Lily towards the girls' dorm staircase . Lily whispered something in his year and the both of them giggled . Lily plated a kiss on his cheek , and then giving him a wink-she left , leaving James behind - Who's face was as red as Lily's hair.

He stared at her all the way until she disappeared . Then , he turned around swiftly - Smiling so widely that it looked as if his cheeks would split in half .

"SHE SAID YES! SHE SAID YES , GUYS!!!!!" James Shouted , his voice shaking a bit due to happiness .

In a second , Remus and Sirius's heads snapped towards Y/n - giving her sad looks . But , the reaction from her was not what they expected .

She smiled. And it wasn't a fake one - it was a genuine one . 

Y/n felt her heart clench at James's words . But , she noticed how happy he was , she noticed how happy she made him . And in that moment, she completely accepted the fact that he loved Lily , and that the two belonged together . She accepted that Lily made him happy . She was happy that her friend finally found someone he deserved , finally found someone worthy of Him . Y/n always knew that she didn't deserve him , she didn't deserve to have him in her broken life . Even though she was distraught , her best friend's happiness was all she needed . And she smiled. She smiled because he was happy , she smiled because she finally figured it out , she smiled because she knew that he would be happy . And Y/n would do anything , anything to bring her friends happiness , even if it meant giving up her own . 

" Ooohhh ..............Congrats , Romeo " Y/n said enthusiastically , smiling up at her best friend .

Part 2 coming up..........

[sepia-mahogany]

Platonic Hanahaki

The stories are just as widely known, of loving and losing, of yearning and forgetting, common in present time as they were years ago, of loving someone so deeply, without desire but not without passion, of kings and warriors, of lovers and brothers, of people not kin not lovers, growing in their lungs the flowers with thorns that cut deep, and drank away their blood without leaving any survivors.

Of course the tales are many, as tragic as they are, of how a man who killed his beloved for making him feel what he deemed unnecessary, his beloved who offered him a little white carnation, covered red in blood, but he held up his sword and cut through flesh, only to follow few days later in his grief.

Or of how a woman travelled across seas, in search of her soulmate, for the agony of her blood kept her comfort, for the heartbeat that echoed along with the garden she grew inside her lungs, because it meant her beloved was well, until one day, she coughed up a black rose and sank to her knees, disappearing from the world.

Of course, there were the ones who lived and got their happy ends, filled with their beloved ones caress or tears of guilt, and so was recorded, the flowers turning to dust and fading away, for their love had been acknowledged, so why the need for the reminder in their veins? Only marks appear on their skin, the place where they first made contact, sometimes the cheek, sometimes the hand, sometimes unseen under the clothes from when they rough-housed as kids.

------------

Jiang Fengmian closed the book that he read, the pain blossoming sharp in his lungs, since that night when he sat, staring at the lotuses under the moonlight, his mind drifting to moments of the past, of longing of what once was, Lotus Pier once his home, felt more like a shackle around his wrists, yet this was his responsibility and he would bear the weight.

He thought to the day he waved away his dearest friend, the one by his side since they were young and grown into the men they were today, and as life went on, it was natural and it was expected, so Fengmian had not been forlorn but rather joyfully wished them well with sincerity and hoped they could visit some time in the future.

He was happy for Changze, for he had found his One, he’d seen the way he looked at her and she at him, he may have held affections for one of them but his love for their friendship outweighed it, and he would be content if they were healthy and successful in the path they chose, but even he knew with their own busy lives, it would be difficult to meet for a long time, so he bid them farewell and cherished their memories.

He didn’t feel as disappointed over his marriage as he originally did, it might have been arranged because of Meishan Yu Sect’s pressuring and his mother’s continuous desire for wanting one of theirs to be his bride, ‘to be the stern hand to his mellowness’ she had said, and what kind of a filial son would he be if he broke the betrothal off now?

And it was not as if he knew the Third Lady of Meishan Yu personally, seeing his brother-in arm’s relationship, his heart could not help but swell with hope, perhaps they could come to understand one another? He looked at his flowers, the ones he had grown with them, and the purple lotuses blooming near the entrance and thought, would she notice how the the colour reflected her eyes? Maybe a boat ride would help? Making future plans with anticipation, he felt a smile blooming on his face.

The day of the wedding came and went, except the chambers of the first night of the married couple remained empty, for his wife had requested for separate quarters in the privacy of their room, he agreed, perhaps she was nervous? Knowing each other better was better than consummation with a stranger, he nodded to himself, he should probably help make her comfortable as her husband.

He approached her room after he finished dressing and knocked lightly, and hesitantly called out “Third-lady?” The door opened, by one of the two girl’s Yu Ziyuan had brought over, and he saw his heart skip a beat when he saw her sitting clothed in Yunmeng Jiang’s purple, her violet eyes staring at him, her lips pursed in a line.

“What is it?” she asked, annoyance clear by her expression, he hesitated yet again, perhaps he had come too early? Yesterday had been a busy banquet. “Would you like to come to the pavilion with me today?” her eyes narrowed and he thought he saw a brief anger flash on her face, was she misunderstanding his intentions?? “The flowers are quite beautiful and the weather is quite good today, tea outside seems a calming time, doesn’t it?” he added, trying to make sure his tone did not seem too hurried, except she became even more angry.

Just when he expected her to refuse, she nodded curtly, “What time?” He let out a breath he did not even realise that he was holding, “Whatever seems comfortable.” He smiled at her gently, her eyes roamed over his face once again before she looked away, knowing full well she meant for him to leave, he got up.

He was happy throughout the day and it must have shown on his face, because his right-hand man told him to leave the Sect work to him for today and ‘just go Sect Leader!”, he had prepared the afternoon snacks himself, the place polished and ready for a wonderful evening, despite that, he still could not help but anxiously look over everything as he waited for her arrival, and she arrived, wearing the same robes as she was in the morning.

He got up to extend her seat. “Good Evening, Third-Lady” She had been looking around the garden since she had entered, he thought it out of appreciation, since these were the flowers they cultivated for years, until her eyes landed on him, which held the same anger as they did earlier in the morning. He served her the tea which she held tightly in her hands, and he found himself worrying, “Is something wrong?”

He expected her to say that the tea was not up to her taste at best, he expected her to criticise the garden’s decor at worse, what he had not expected were the words that left her mouth. “So this is the garden you cultivated with that woman? And you dared to bring me, your wife, here on the first day after our marriage?” She hissed, her words crisp and cutting, he felt confusion, followed by horrified upon realisation of the implications. 

“Third-Lady! What are you saying??”

“What am I saying?! Do you deny it? Do you take me for a fool? You married me once you were rejected by her, everyone knows that and you think that I will sit here calmly while being disrespected!? What do you take me for??” She yelled at him, slamming the cup down, he was truly shocked and frozen in his spot looking at her in bewilderment, had that really been what everyone was saying?

However, she took his shocked silence for agreement and got up to leave, “Third-Lady wait! It isn’t as you think, at all! Let me explain, we were friends and nothing else” He saw her pause, her back towards him so he hurried to explain.

“Changze brought her over once, to show her the garden we had cultivated since we were kids.” He paused to take a breath, “The only thing that was planted upon her suggestion were the purple lotuses-” He saw her head tilt as she looked the flowers, with a hopeful heart he thought, ‘maybe..?’ But before he could finish, Yu Ziyuan had turned around, a sneer upon her lips as she trampled upon the flowers next to her.

‘...to be the first thing you see, when you enter the garden.’

She left him staring at the trampled flowers, the tea cup tipped all over the table from when she smashed it in anger, and he sat there, processing what had happened, until a disciple knocked at the door, “Sect Leader?” The disciple peeked inside to catch his eye and stammered, “The meeting is about to begin, some urgent things came up and-” he smiled and replied “Of course, I’ll be on my way.” He sent the disciple off, grabbed a few napkins to clean up the table, and picked up the trampled flowers from the ground.

The days that followed went on without much words spoken between them, he did not dare to make the first move, because if she could misunderstand him in ways to such high extents, he was not sure what she would think if her sent over gifts, even if the thought of sending some crossed his mind, her scowling face and the violet of her eyes reminded him of that day, leading him to stay away.

He entered the garden, as months went by, the flowers that were once blooming wilted, just like everything in life had its end, some more sooner than the others, some caused by another, he thought as his eyes lingered on the place where once the purple lotus flowers stood. 

--------

“She’ll love them!” Cangse Sanren had said with that confident smile of hers, giving him thumbs up with both hands covered in dirt from where she planted her side of the lotuses with Changze, who nodded as well when he looked at him. “The ones on the right are from us, the ones to left were planted by her were own future-husband.” She grinned as he could feel flush creeping up his cheeks, he cleared his throat accompanied by Changze’s fond sigh. 

“She’ll probably melt, Sect Leader Jiang, down on his hands and knees in dirt, planting flowers in her-” Jiang Fengmian cut her off “Okay, enough! Enough!” he muttered, wiping his hands clean and looking at Changze, who only looked the other way as his wife cackled, the traitor. “Besides I plant flowers anyway, so does Changze, it’s not anything special like that.” He said defensively, Cangse Sanren had the audacity to roll her eyes, at Sect Leader, and his own home at that. “Sureee, Fengmian, sure.” 

---------

When he began to plant new fresh seeds, it took him much longer without Changze doing the other half, now, the thought of even considering Yu Ziyuan to plant the other half seemed laughable, he had been wrong in thinking they could come to understand one another, but now what was done was done, he could not exactly with separate her just within a few months of marriage, so he took a deep breath and decided upon a peace offering.

She was the Violet Spider, with a harsh temper and equally cutting words, what would be a gift that would be to her liking? He did not need to ponder over it for long, because to his surprise, he was approached by her during the evening, when he was alone. “I want to handle the training of the disciples.” She stated more than asked, Jiang Fengmian hesitated, that was a mistake, “What? Don’t think I’m good enough to train Yunmeng Jiangs disciples? Not good enough as your-” he cut her off,

 “No! That’s not what I was thinking-” the original instructor had been hand picked and carried the legacy of his forefathers, how could he alter what was passed down for generations- “Did you speak over me!? Trying to silence me, are you? With how you married me as a substitute for her? Is that not it?? Is that why you’re so hesitant?? Or perhaps is it that I’m a woman and you’re scared-” what?? “My Lady! That’s not it at all! I-”

“Then prove it, or else it's not believable at all, what other reason would you have then, to think that I am somehow inferior in your mind?” Her words dripped with poison, her eyes locking onto him, eyes of a venomous spider, he raised up his hand to massage his forehead. “Its not that simple! The instructing handlers have been passed down through generations, I cannot just change it on a whim.”

And she leaned back, smug as if she had won the argument, “Then perhaps it is not I who is lacking.” He felt cold all over, the anger he felt giving him no warmth, insulting his friends, insulting him, and now his sect. “Third-Lady, please be careful of what you speak, careless words aren’t able to be taken back easily.” Her smile remained, “Who says these are careless words? I mean every one of them, your Sect teachings haven’t produced any excelling disciple for the past years, while other Sect’s flourish, give me the reigns and I’ll show you how its done.”

Not only accepting all her words as intentional, but also implying she could do better than the Jiang Sect’s teachings over hundreds of years, he realised more and more what sort of a person he had been tied down to, would it not be better to just end the marriage? He instead looked over her smug expression and took a deep breath, “Fine, but give me time.” She nodded and left at that, a means to an end, giving her the benefit of the doubt, he did not know at the time, would turn out to be one of his worst mistakes.

It took him months but he managed to get some disciples under Yu Ziyuan, but his concerns were not simply over the teachings, if Yu Ziyuan could act the way she did with him, well with disciples? So he supervised the training lessons, but again to his surprise, other than some curt words, she did not verbally attack them the way she had attacked him, so it wasn’t her behaviour in general, just with him.

Of course he had called over one of the disciples randomly, although nervous and stuttering, the boy had answered that the training was going quite well, and with no reports or complaints in the following months, he could not do anything but let the matter drop, with this however, the matter of their distance remained as it was.

Soon he found that she relocated the aides he had, he had been angry of course, and immediately gone to her. “Where did you send Li Feng and the rest? And with what authority, you have no right-” she cut him off slamming her hands on top of the table. “With authority as your wife!? Or have you forgotten who your wife is?? So what? Can’t I move around servants here??” the anger churned his insides more so than anything else. 

“Those people aren’t servants, Li Feng is my right-hand man, please refer to them respectfully.” He tried to speak as calmly as possible, she glared at him “As the Madam of this house, I can do however I want.” he pinched the bridge of his nose, looked at her, her violet eyes, and exhaled. “Every action I do is met with anger, scorn or contempt,” He began, voice devoid of previous anger, “Then perhaps we should part ways.” He finished and her expression changed.

Out went the anger from her glare, instead for the first time she looked at him with shock instead of rage, and it was the first time he heard her stutter. “F-Fengmian, you can’t…” He looked at her, much relaxed with his mind made up, “Third-Lady, we clearly aren’t meant to be, we are completely different.” He turned his back and made to leave, with his hand on the door handle, “How dare you do this to me?”

Still the same, he closed his eyes, “How dare you, when I work day and night to train your disciples, how dare you, when you agreed to marry me in the first place, if anything, it's all your fault these things happen!” She yelled and he turned to look at her in disbelief, she cried “Why did you marry me if you were going to abandon me later?? How dare you!” she grabbed the nearest object, a cup and threw it at him, but he caught it before it broke.

‘Your fault’ she said, how was it his fault with any of it?? With how she behaved- “Have I caused problems in your Sect?? Have I gone out of my way to harm your people? All I did was rearrange the schedule setting but you seem to think I have committed treason?!”

She looked at him with anger “Did you not approach me first on that day? I was fine in my own quarters but you had to approach me.” He did but it was for purpose of getting to know each other better!

“Then all I asked was to train your disciples, only to get your suspicion” She huffed angrily “Do you think think me blind? That I would not if you called them to check if I was abusing them?? What do you take me for exactly!?” She saw him staring wide-eyed and nodded “You don’t get to ask for separation when I’m one who has suffered, after I’ve worked so hard, you could make some efforts too, if you weren’t so obsessed with that woman, and hate me unreasonably for not being her, then perhaps you would know!” She left, slamming the door behind her.

Her words repeated over and over in his head, ‘your fault’, true he had approached her first that day...but..and again the thing with disciples, he felt guilt creeping up in his heart, he should have tried harder if she misunderstood him, he should have explained it better, in a few days he saw his aides once again under him, but instead of greeting him like they usually did, they looked at him as if a stranger. 

“Is everything alright?” He asked, Li Feng answered “Of course, Sect Leader.” He nodded, not noticing anything odd, except over the next month, he realised they were treating him distantly, he couldn’t share with them what was on his mind, nor any of his opinions, being met with “As Sect Leader wishes.” Was Yu Ziyuan right? Was he the one lacking in communication? But he never had Changze misunderstand him...

In his state, he did not notice rumours spreading about how Jiang Fengmian did not like Yu Ziyuan because he was ‘still in love with another woman’.

Most of time was spent busy with his work, not knowing how to face her again, days became months, he would sometimes reminisce over his past times, feeling guilt weighing him down and pain in his chest, there no reason for him to feel anything out of the ordinary, until one day, when he was sitting in his room while looking down at his garden, the flowers did not bloom, he thought, and he felt a wave of coldness wash over him

Thinking how the once lively Lotus Pier turned into a place of coldness for him, his wife refused to talk to him, his aides and friends looked at him with judgement in their eyes, and then the pain increased unnaturally, until he couldn’t help but take in deep breaths helping to no avail, and then he coughed.

He coughed and coughed until he could feel his lungs bleed and he tasted metal on his tongue, until he could feel thorns scratching his throat as he choked with panic overtaking him, barely able to breath he vomited, instead of feeling his blanket get wet from what he thought was bile, he opened his eyes to be greeted by flowers, lots of carnations, stargazer lilies and purple hyacinths mixed together, covered in blood and vines.

He laughed, he had not laughed since the day he got married to Yu Ziyuan, he laughed and laughed bitterly, tears forming in his eyes, he felt so alone, he thought ‘how good would it be if I could just leave?’, at least, he thought between breaths, at least they are alright, it had been a long time since he had heard from his friends.

--------------------

A year had passed just like that, Yu Ziyuan’s angry scornful comments continued any time he so much as tried to speak to her that he gave up trying, his aides while weren’t exactly the same with him anymore, he did catch them staring at him with concern sometimes, few reassurances had them going back to work.

Hearing knocking at the door, with Yu Ziyuan’s “It’s me”, exhaustion filled him, and his heart skipped a beat with fear, of course it wasn’t that he was afraid of her, but her reaction, her words if she knew, he glanced once at the hiding place of the book and got up to open the door, tired as he did not want to face more of her tirades or whatever she wanted from him.

She walked in, eyes roaming over his room and sat on the edge of his bed, “Fengmian” she began, and he took a deep breath, she wanted to ask for something when she spoke like that, “What is it Third-Lady?” he asked, a bit resigned.

“The people have been talking.” She said a bit curtly, that phrase always sent his thoughts back to when they first talked, and since whenever she uttered it, it was almost always followed by anger, he did not like it at all.

Though reluctant, he still asked weakly “About what, Third-Lady?” she looked away. “Heirs” With that one word, he felt a surge of that unpleasant coldness forming in the pit of his stomach. “‘Heirs?’” he repeated, he had known that one day he would have to consummate their relationship, and he had foolishly avoided it being brought up, with what reason could he deny this?

“Make up your mind, people have been talking, how Fengmian has not touched his wife since her arrival.” She said, turning to look at her, the violet of her eyes made him sick, his thoughts filled with the purple hyacinths covered in blood, he felt breath come short to his lungs. “Give me time, Third-Lady.” He whispered weakly, and winced when he realised it was the wrong thing to say as her expression twisted.

“Do you hear yourself? Always ‘give me time’ whenever I ask you for something, haven’t I given you enough time to come to yourself? Always dazed nowadays!” She snapped and he flinched, “Third-Lady no! I-” She interrupted “Don’t speak over me!” She got up, and walked closer to him, prompting him to take a step back. 

“You, always yearning for your beloved it it?” She sniffed and he felt his heart drop, she couldn’t possibly have known, he went alone and- “You...you had people following me??” He whispered, angered, afraid, he did not know what he was feeling, except that he wanted to be far far away from her. Were it the people he once called his aides? 

“Does it matter? Who knows when you’d meet up with that wh-” He slammed his hand on the door “Third-Lady, please leave.” He said taking in deep breaths to keep the pain at bay, “Just go” He added when a look of anger overcame her yet again “Fengmian you-” he didn’t let her speak. “You want heirs? Heirs right? Let's talk about that later, out” He pointed to the door, she bit her lips but ultimately left, knowing her words wouldn’t be needed any more having accomplished what she came for.

He closed the door and tried to move to the inside of the room, where he coughed, coughed until blood poured down his mouth, blood until the purple flowers fell from his mouth, it was getting worse than before, he huffed and washed clean the blood, washed cleaned the flowers, a drawer he opened, entirely filled with violet flowers, a reminder of the fool he had been. 

He sat on his knees as he stared them, despair heavy on his face,  “Ah Changze, what am I supposed to do?”

So, they shared the moment of what should have been their wedding night, he left as soon as morning came, with the urge to vomit yet again at his throat, and it was not entirely due to the diseases spike, he would hope that was the one and only moment time they would ever have to take part in matrimonial duties, for her cutting words didn’t ever seem to hold back, no matter the occasion.

Months passed and confirmation came that she was with child, it was a relief to him, less about acquiring an heir and more not having to deal with the woman, except in her state she was more unbearable than ever but he couldn’t say anything, for he would be met with her rant of “You did this to me!” From her, he fulfilled her every wish, but he couldn’t think to be with her in the same room for more than a few minutes, without bile rising to his throat.

But when the day of the birth came, he sat as she held his arm, as she screamed in pain, that was the least he could do as her husband, suppressing all moments of disgust he felt upon her touch, and after hours and hours, he got to hold his daughter while her mother took rest, and his heart filled with love, his little one, she was his dearest child, Jiang Yanli.

For a few days, things seemed better, Yu Ziyuan seemed to hold back on her anger, he assumed she had been happy as well, how wrong he had been, when she came to him and spoke about betrothal with her Sworn Sister, Madam Jin of Jin Sect, and he felt disbelief coursing his veins and it was the first time he truly raised his voice at her. “No.” he said firmly, no matter how much she yelled or screamed, he refused.

He had said, “Her marriage will done with her own choice, no matter what.” he thought later that had been a mistake, because Yu Ziyuan started to arrange play-dates between Yanli and the Jin heirs son, he still refused, until Jiang Yanli herself came to him, claiming she loved the boy she saw but barely knew anything of, if she did, she would have seen the disdain the boy held for prospect of marriage, the same disdain he saw in Yu Ziyuan.

The woman came to him again, “A-Li likes him, or are you going to deny what you had said?”  He wanted to argue, Yanli was barely old enough to understand but knowing Yu Ziyuan, he knew there was no way she would give up, so he agreed, hoping to break it off later in the future, when Yanli was old enough to understand, his daughter would know that there was no love lost between her and the boy.

Until her 3rd birthday, when it became more and more obvious that Yanli could not form a core, and Yu Ziyuan’s anger burned again, he tried to keep Yanli around him more than her, but when she came asking to talk to her daughter, as her mother, he could not refuse, his daughter usually looked down instead of looking at her.

One of those days, when Yu Ziyuan had come to ask, Jiang Yanli held tightly on his clothes and looked at him with her light coloured eyes, Ziyuan’s purple reminded him of poison, of those hyacinths in his lungs, and Yanli’s reminded him of those purple lotuses, that he had grown with love, he made an excuse, and the woman huffed away, “Fine, send her over later then.” He did not, “She was tired.” He said calmly, when Yu Ziyuan later yelled at him.

They had to share the bed once more when the question of heirs was brought up, and he had spent the rest of the day in his room, vomiting, sick to his stomach, both the blood and the food, for the first time since Yanli’s birth. As usual, he cleaned up without letting anyone know.

Nearing the evening, he heard a light knock at his door. “Father?” He heard, Yanli call out, he got up to open the door, and invited his little daughter in, “Father’s not well?” she questioned as she climbed up onto his lap, he patted her head lovingly. “Father is okay. A-Li does not have to worry, but he wonders what has she been doing? I saw her go to the kitchen earlier today.” He pretended to be puzzled.

“A-Li learnt how to make soup from Old Fa!” She said excitedly, holding her hands together. “But Mother says its a servant’s job, she doesn’t like it.” She wilted and he looked at her directly. “Father would love to eat a-li’s soup.” She looked at him hopefully, “I know it’d taste delicious!” She cheered up. 

“I made it for father today.” She ran out and came back with a bowl filled with what was..the soup. He drank it anyway and gave a strained smile, “Could use a little less salt” He choked out, and her smile was worth it.

Weeks passed peacefully, he was with Yanli in the kitchen, watching as Old Fa taught her how to knead, cooking was one of the few things that brought a smile to her face, seeing her so excited, he relaxed as well, until Yu Ziyuan joined them, he hadn’t expected her to, given her mindset of it being a servants job,  “A-Li you’re doing it wrong.” She said after watching her for a moment, in the same tone of voice as she used when training disciples.

“A-Xuan won’t like it if all you can do is cook, come with me to the training grounds.” She said, he cut her off “A-Li doesn’t have to do everything for him.” And Yu Ziyuan turned to him “If you want her to do a servant job then that's on you, she’s my daughter too, and as the daughter of Violet Spider, she should be able to fight! Not partaking in these weak acts-” He cut her off “Third Lady! Control your words!”

Before he could say more, soft sniffles cut him off, he looked at his daughter, her hands still inside the dough, tears she was trying to wipe on her shoulder, “Third-Lady is not allowed in the kitchen anymore.” He said and watched Old Fa escort her out, not before Yu Ziyuan shouted, “You cannot keep me from training my daughter!” She yelled as if he had ordered her banishment instead.

“No one is keeping you, if you have nothing good to say to a-li, it's better if you stay away from her, Third-Lady, take the day to cool off” He nodded towards the door, “Fine! If you want your daughter to be a weak-” he cut her off “Third-Lady! Leave.” She threw one last look at them and left fuming.

He knelt next to his daughter, pulled her into a hug. “A-Li is sorry Father!” She sobbed, and rubbed her back “A-Li doesn’t have to be sorry, a-li’s mother should be saying sorry.”

“Mother says father doesn’t like a-li” She said after calming down a bit “Because a-li looks like her mother-” he pulled back to look at her in the eye and enunciated his every word, “A-Li is not her mother, a-li is my beloved daughter, and I love everything a-li does” He told her comfortingly. 

“A-Li is not weak, a-li is peaceful, there is strength in nurturing and kindness.” Yanli finally seemed to calm down, hiccuping but not sobbing anymore, he wiped her tears away and smiled “Father loves a-li a lot.” he said as he kissed the top of her head.

---------

And then the day came when Yanli’s little sibling came into the world, accompanied by just as much of screaming, but less hours lost, Yanli cooed over her little brother, a tiny little thing in her mother’s arms, she reached out and lightly pressed his cheek, “So small.” Her father chuckled and said “A-Li was also this small when she was born.” Yu Ziyuan showed a rare smile as well, “His name will be Jiang Cheng.” She said.

Things went a bit smoothly after that, even though Ziyuan was the same as always Yanli his beloved daughter was eight years old, and his son, Jiang Cheng was four, his core formed well and he thought Yu Ziyuan had been happy, so he had not expected when she was walked into his room and started yelling,

 “Why are you ostracising your son!? Yanli’s going to be married into Jin Sect and yet you spend time coddling her! And you don’t spend the same amount of time with your son?”

He really hadn’t expected her random onslaught, nor where she was coming from, his son was working hard, and he had overlooked his training personally, teaching him the Jiang teachings along with Yu Ziyuan’s own training. “Oh is it because I’m his mother? Because you cannot handle seeing your own son when you want to see a son with her-” Where was she coming from, he felt horrified, “Third-Lady! What’re you saying!?”

The door swung open and their son, Jiang Cheng stood shocked, scared at being caught and tears in his eyes, before he ran away. He turned to her disgust forming heavy, before leaving her where she stood spluttering how she didn’t mean for him to hear her.

He found his son sobbing as Yanli comforted him in his room. “Mother doesn’t mean it.” Yanli told him as she rubbed his back, “She loves you.” He only sobbed louder, “But she’s right, Father likes you more because he hates me. He likes that boy more-” Yanli looked as if she didn’t know what to say, and Fengmian felt confused, who were they talking about?

“No, I absolutely, do not.” He said and his children froze and turned to him, “You do! Why do you make me work more than everyone else!?” His son got up, and lightly started punching him from where he reached his knees while he sobbed, Jiang Fengmian, placed a hand on his shoulder, suppressing the pain in his heart and lungs.

“Because A-Cheng is going to be the Sect Leader, A-Cheng needs to be strong.” He said evenly as his son shook his head. “That’s not what you said to Jie!” and ran to his bed, “A-Cheng listen-” His son turned to look at him with anger “If you did then you wouldn’t have that disease!”

Jiang Fengmian stared at him, too shocked to feel anything. How? Or Why? Did she tell them that?! How did she even- his thoughts cut off as he thought back, if she could send people tailing him, what couldn’t she do? 

He looked at his daughter who avoided his gaze, “A-Li?” she answered silently “Mother said Father would replace him for-” She frowned, trying to remember a name, “‘Wei Ying’, the son of your-” She sneaked a peak at him “Your ‘beloved’.” And looked away, as if feeling guilt.

“A-Li, no, I love you both, how can she-” Yanli nodded, “I know that you love us, but A-Cheng thinks Father doesn’t like him because of Mother…” she hesitated. “And that you regret it wasn’t someone else, instead.”

He regretted, he regretted letting his children near Yu Ziyuan’s poisonous words, but the only regret was Yu Ziyuan, not his love for his children, it was not something he would ever regret, he didn’t even know Wei Changze had a son. 

“A-Li” He began gently, knowing A-Cheng was listening when his shaking under the blanket stopped, “They were my friends, like you and-” He thought for a second, “-like you and A-Cheng, we grew up together but they were my friends, and you’re my children, I love you both.” He kissed the top of her head and her shoulders dropped in what could only be relief, and reached up to pat Jiang Cheng’s head under the blanket, and left them for a moment.

He knocked on Yu Ziyuan’s door, only to find it open and empty, he walked inside and opened the cabinets and drawers until he found what he was looking for, for her to know she must have- and there they were.

Pages over pages, written in a familiar writing, ranging from containing details of travels, requesting permission to visit, to mentions of ‘Wei Ying’s’ birth, he felt tears form in his own eyes, with his heart filled with overwhelming pain and indignation, he now understood her random bursts, they were each time a letter was received, over jealousy-

Before he could go out and confront her, the pain in his lungs became unbearable, he choked and coughed, no matter how much he tried to restrain it, he coughed until he collapsed to his knees, why now? His body heated up feeling thorns tear at this lungs and throat. 

He could barely breath as he vomited, vision fading from the corner of his eyes, he was confused until he caught a look of the flowers he coughed, pure black roses mixed with the hyacinths, the rose thorns dripping with blood, no sign of lilies and carnations, his heart and soul filled with agony and he cried, and then he knew nothing more.

When he woke up, he felt nothing, he knew he hated Yu Ziyuan, but he felt nothing but blank emptiness, when he stared at the woman standing at the door, his children on either side of his bed. “Oh good, that you’re awake.” She hissed as if he was an inconvenience and he found no rage, and he nodded calmly instead.

He knew his friends had passed but he did not, could not feel grief, he knew he loved his children, so he reached out with both his hands, patting them as they muttered apologies while sobbing. “It wasn’t your fault, father was a bit sad, and was already sick, but he’s well now.” He said gently, and once the children left, he looked at the woman who was his wife and said “I’ll bring A-Ying back.”

------------

Authors note

Jfm knew he cared for Wei Ying, yet he felt nothing.

He knew he loved his children, he felt nothing,

He knew he hated his wife, yet he felt, nothing.

---------

So yesterday i was looking through @angstymdzsthoughts  and came across platonic hanahaki and thought hey sounds angsty, and thought ‘hey what if jfm had platonic hanahaki for cangse sanren and wei changze?’ i deliberately tried to keep it ambiguous which one he was in love with XD Madam Yu kept assuming and he didn’t give a fuk about correcting her, also like i couldnt bring myself to even write them spending the night together idk y, took a lot of effort lol. Started out with thinking hanaki, got more of JFM’s descent to feeling nothing oof.

Also like it turned out more focus on the fact that even before wwx was brought to lp, there would still be yzy biching and making everyone miserable so-

[xx-sharpfawngz-xx]

I think it’s finally time to have Ia’s info on this blog! <3

Ia’s tag

Name: Ianis Varkas 

Nicknames: Ia (prefered), Iotta (Adina), Goldielocks/Blondie (both by Vedra and their prior band)

Gender/Pronouns: Transmasculine Non-binary -  they/he

Age: 24

Birthday: 19/11

Orientation: pansexual 

Magic: Their magic manipulates perception (it’s a trippy experience). They also use more physics-based magic (they will be more than happy to show off their magic loop pedal spells :D). Their natural ‘talent’ could technically extend to all kinds of emotional-based magic but they just don’t care to hone it  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Occupation: travelling musician

Familiar: rat, Ratboi Slim (or just… Slim for short)

Shippable?: Yes!

Theme Song(s): Holy Locust - Tangled in Ropes / Beirut - Vagabond

SPOTIFY PLAYLIST LINK

MBTI: ENFP - A

Zodiac: Scorpio sun, Gemini moon, Scorpio ascendant

Appearance:

175 cm tall (5’8) 

slender build 

their hair colour is a honey blonde and the style is short at the top and long at the bottom - their hair texture is 2b

their eyes are Fern coloured

life journey so far:

Ia grew up alongside their twin, Adina, in a village of Pasamani near Nevinon. 

Their childhood was spent being yelled at, ignored and constantly silenced, as well as made to work on the family farm. They grew up around a lot of siblings, 11 of them in fact (counting Adina), however the pair kept to themselves mostly, generally ostracised by the children for being a product of an affair.

As a child Ia was curious and social,trying to make friends wherever they went.

Their biological father would visit them every now and again, focusing more on honing their musical talents than giving emotional care. Their father encouraged experimentation and expression over rigid rules and his company gave them belief that there is life outside of the abusive home they were being brought up in. Their father’s stories about his travels intrigued them and they had decided to take up the lifestyle from an early age.

Ia was often considered lazy and to be of little worth as a worker by their caretakers, however their actions came from their complete disinterest in the tasks they were expected to perform, rather spending their days exploring or making noise.

At the age of 11, word of their biological father’s passing got to them and Ia was left heartbroken and confused, unsure of how to deal with these emotions and not getting any outside comfort. The year after that they don’t remember. 

At around 14, their mother suggested they marry the merchant’s son and they complied, thinking anything would be better than what they had thus far. The marriage was arranged to be on their 16th birthday. The only issue with the affair was that Ia hadn’t been going through puberty as was expected and at 15 they still hadn’t had their period. This frustrated their mother, seeing as she counted on the marriage to bring in money for the family as well as getting rid of at least one mouth to feed. So she took them to Nevinon to see a physician about it. After a bit of rummaging around their lower abdomen (which is how they got the horizontal scar on their lower belly), the physician found they lacked ovaries. This did not sit well with their mother and in a fit of rage attacked them with a pair of surgical scissors (which is how they got the chest scar. The physician managed to fight the woman off and throw her out of his practice. The physician and his wife took care of Ia for the next six months. 

(I wrote a little something a while back about that last paragraph so you can check it out here)

They met Vedra, Mete and the band at 15 on one of their expeditions into Nevinon. They clicked with them momentarily and on an impulse they decided to leave the physician and his wife in favour of going traveling with them. The consequence to this is that they lost Adina and it took them many years to reconnect. (You’ll be able to read more about Adina once I make their about post)

Vedra helped Ia get back out of their shell, her passion for life and helping others, as well as her general competence as a group leader did wonders for them. She worked hard to help them relearn the behaviours they were shunned for in their childhood home and much like their father, encouraged their experimentation even outside of her own understanding. They developed an unbreakable bond and are often described as platonic soulmates. 

During this time, Ia developed a romantic and sexual relationship with Mete. This was truly a relationship only in their head, seeing as Mete never admitted publicly their involvement.

Their relationship was pretty toxic but Ia’s low self confidence stopped them from realising the future repercussions. This went on for about a year and when they were 17 (and he was 20), Mete ran away with half of the band, taking a good chunk of their money. The band soon fell apart.

Ia and Vedra continued to travel as a pair, collaborating with whoever was willing, hoping to change the world one politically conscious song at a time.

This went on for a couple years - most of their early twenties. During this time, Ia struggled to form meaningful romantic relationships with people and relied heavily on sex as a means to survive.

When they were 23, the word of Vedra’s father falling ill reached them and she decided to go out on good terms with him. Ia followed her back to Vesuvia, unsure of what they would do without her. 

They settled in the Temple District, working odd jobs to survive as well as continuing their creative journey.

[filmmakerdreamst]

Gabrielle, Xena, and their wlw legacy 25 years later

“Before I met you, no one saw me for who I was. I felt invisible. You saw all the things that I could be. You saved me, Xena.” – Gabrielle, “The Ides of March”

The story of Xena is remembered as many different things. A heroic saga, a tale of redemption, a campy romp. It’s a series that truly had it all, and that’s why it remains iconic a quarter of a century later. Yet it is perhaps best remembered for the series-long slow burn subtextual love affair between Xena and her “traveling companion” Gabrielle.

While Xena and Gabrielle never became a canonical couple throughout the show’s run, producer Liz Friedman was (and is) an out lesbian and she, along with many of the writers, are on record as having worked to push queer themes throughout the series. Though studio executives refused to allow an openly queer relationship to flourish in late 1990s all-ages programming, looking back, they got away with a lot. While the relationship between Xena and Gabrielle remains the most talked about element of the show with good reason, something that stands out during a rewatch is that Gabrielle’s story is a queer narrative from the very start.

In the pilot episode, Gabrielle and her fellow villagers are taken hostage by henchmen of the villainous Draco. Despite being “only a bard,” Gabrielle is a brave young woman, and tries to stand up for the others, but to no avail. She is, after all, a storyteller, not a warrior. At that fortuitous moment, Xena arrives and defeats the warlords effortlessly, and it changes Gabrielle’s life forever. Not only is her life spared, she has found a new purpose – Xena.

Gabrielle is immediately smitten and attempts to follow Xena out of town when the other villagers, knowing her reputation as a ruthless killer, demand that she move on. Xena is jaded and prefers to travel alone, but Gabrielle trails her. She is committed to proving to Xena that they need each other. She even saves Xena’s life by thinking on her feet and keeping her cool under pressure so that Xena finally, grudgingly feels compelled to hear her out. When Xena threatens to send her back home, Gabrielle immediately replies, “I won’t stay there,” and makes an impassioned plea to Xena to allow her to accompany her on adventures.

“Gabrielle doesn’t elaborate on the details of her alienation, but any queer viewer would be able to relate.”

Even from the very first episode, Gabrielle knows she does not belong in her hometown. She knows she does not fit in, and the heteronormative plan that has been laid out for her by the people in her life seems akin to torture. She doesn’t elaborate on the details of her alienation, but any queer viewer would be able to relate. Xena is moved by this, and she finally agrees to accept Gabrielle into her life. For both of them, this proves to be the most important decision either of them would ever make.

This is all within the very first of the one hundred thirty-four episodes of Xena: Warrior Princess, and it truly set the standard for what we would see going forward. Gabrielle would have some romantic interests outside of Xena over the course of the series, but there is no questioning that her life revolved around the Warrior Princess from the moment she met her. Xena struggles with myriad romantic attachments throughout the show, conflicted over her past loves like Marcus, and the god of war, Ares, who sees the bond between her and Gabrielle as a threat and consistently attempts to break them up. For Gabrielle, she is briefly married, but her husband is little more than a plot device who is then almost immediately killed. She is trailed after by Joxer, but has no interest in him. In contrast, she is dedicated to Xena, and rarely questions the strength of their connection. Though it isn’t always explicit, by the end of the series, it’s difficult to view their relationship as anything but a love story.

Looking back, what was mandated a platonic relationship by censorship comes across more like a highly successful polyamorous relationship, in which the two grant each other space and understanding while remaining fully committed to one another. By the end of the story, they appear to be in a more monogamous arrangement, with Xena ultimately choosing Gabrielle as her one true partner, but it’s important that they allowed each other to express outside interests without anger as they grew together.

Indeed, though Xena’s affairs are many, Gabrielle’s strongest outside interest is with the Amazons. This, of course, is not without its own subtext. In the episode “Hooves & Harlots”, Xena focuses on trying to solve a murder mystery while Gabrielle trains and bonds with the Amazons. The Amazons emphasize sisterhood and they give Gabrielle a greater understanding of who she is as an entity separate from Xena. In “The Quest,” we learn that if Xena were to perish, Gabrielle would go to live with the Amazons rather than rejoining her old village or even pursuing her career as a bard. Though the Amazons are also never confirmed as queer despite the obvious queer elements of their story, Gabrielle’s emphasis on surrounding herself with a community of other queer people is important. In the Amazon episodes, the Gabrielle-specific subtext is as strong as it ever gets. In “To Helicon and Back,” Gabrielle politely notes that Xena will have to leave because a pending ceremony is Amazon-only, and Xena graciously agrees with only a trace of apprehension, quipping, “Don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do.” Xena supports Gabrielle and encourages her to form close bonds with other women, but they always come back to each other.

In “The Ides of March,” the villainous Callisto teams up with Xena’s cruel ex Caesar to usurp rulership of Rome from its tenuous democracy. Xena has seen a prophecy warning her to never set foot within Rome lest she risk her own death, but when Gabrielle is captured, she feels she has no choice. They nearly escape, but she is paralyzed by Callisto in the middle of a fight to free Caesar’s prisoners. Gabrielle spent much of the last season on a quest for peace, but when she sees Xena fall, she does not hesitate to unleash her full rage on the Roman guards. She fights valiantly while Xena begs her not to, fearing the cost to Gabrielle’s spirit. After they are both captured, they are imprisoned together and sentenced to death. When Xena weakly apologizes to Gabrielle, asking her forgiveness for making her break her vow of non-violence, Gabrielle insists that it’s meaningless, as nothing has ever mattered to her besides her life with Xena. The two of them are crucified together, and they die gazing into each other’s eyes. Though they return to life in the next season, we see that even in death, their souls were just as intertwined as their lives had become.

Gabrielle’s struggle with violence and the inner peace she ultimately achieves in concern to it is generally what people focus on when talking about the importance of her story, but that all happens alongside her journey to acceptance of herself as a queer person. She and Xena are not an immediate item but rather a slow burn love story in which they both must prove their love and devotion while struggling with their own inner demons. Yet still, at any time throughout the series when the two become separated, Gabrielle is not well until she is reunited with her partner. Xena, for her part, grows to depend on Gabrielle in a way that is, at first, completely alien to her. Though Xena has had many loves, none of them went to the lengths that Gabrielle went to in order to be with her. Leading up to her catastrophic death in the final episodes, her commitment to Gabrielle is agonizingly apparent. Even in death, the two of them will never be separated.

Without Gabrielle’s queer subplot, textual or not, Xena would not have been the show it was. Xena’s story involves a lot of conflicting feelings and ends with her making amends for who she was before ultimately letting go of it all and finding her own peace. Gabrielle’s story is about holding on to her faith and her kindness regardless of what she goes through. Together, these stories combined to be one of the greatest love stories in television history. Though the comics would later portray their relationship as openly queer, the fact that it didn’t need to be canonical within the show to be as important as it is to queer audiences only further proves the impact of the series, the vitality of Gabrielle’s story, and the poetic beauty of her complicated, but all-encompassing, love for Xena.

- Gabrielle, Xena, and their wlw legacy 25 years later by Sara Century

[esmealux]

How Chloe Decker Ruined The Greatest Slut of The Universe

Part: 1 / 1

Setting: Post s5, maybe post s6?

Word count: 2.2K

Rating: T

Summary: Lucifer’s thoughts on monogamy have changed over time. Or, how Chloe Decker ruined the Greatest Slut of the Universe. 

Author’s note: Thanks for the help on this one! If I’m still a little off canon in some places, I apologise. I tried my best. If it bugs you too much that it doesn’t 100% match what’s implied on the show, you can always consider it an AU.

Lucifer had never seen the point of monogamy. Why limit yourself to one sexual partner when you could have a thousand?

It wasn’t a matter of quantity over quality—Dad no. It was simply a matter of diversity. Variety. No matter how delectable the taste, you wouldn’t stick to one meal for the rest of your life. No matter how sweet the melody, you wouldn’t listen to one song and one song only. Even the most magnificently scored piece of music would eventually tire your ears if it were all you ever heard. So why on Earth would you tie yourself to one person?

He might have understood it if humans were designed to mate for life, like beavers and seahorses, but they weren’t. They were polygamous creatures. And yet so many of them spent every living second obsessing over finding the one. It was untrue to their nature—deviant, really. The saddest part was that once they thought they’d encountered this ‘other half’, they’d chain themselves to the person, restrain themselves. Suppress their innate desires.

Why, oh, why?

The question had struck his mind so many times, most often amid a particularly sinful orgy. Why would you ever abstain from the abundance of pleasure several lovers could give you in return for sporadic and ever-worsening missionary sex with the same person until your dying day? 

It had made absolutely no sense to him.

But then he’d met her.

Not that he’d turned monogamist by the mere sight of her (he wasn’t that weak). But it was her acquaintance, all the light and the dark that ensued, which ultimately had made him abandon his philandering. He’d wish he could say it was a conscious choice. It wasn’t. After she’d kissed him that first time (and probably even before that) he just simply hadn’t had the desire to engage in casual sex with strangers. Not that he hadn’t felt desire in any form—had practically been set ablaze with it the moment their lips had touched—but he’d burned for her, and no one else.

And then, before he could even act on this newfound, completely overshadowing, giddying want, the all-destructive revelation had been thrust in his face. That she was nothing but another pawn in his Father’s vexatious game. That she hadn’t kissed him of her own free will. That they weren’t real.

It had felt as if he’d crashed against the sulphurous ground of Hell once again. And his carnal desires had been pushed even further back. If he couldn’t have her—and he couldn’t, because she deserved a choice—he didn’t want anyone. Not even when he’d fled from reality to Sin City had he been tempted to pick up a bed mate or two. Nor had he felt the need to seduce Candy as he’d pretend-married her. No, that little arrangement had primarily, almost solely been to protect Chloe. To give her a choice.  

And he’d done just that, as they’d gone back to being friends. Just friends. (For some reason, it had not relieved the ache in his chest, but he’d tried not to dwell on that). And yet, despite their now defined platonic relationship, he still hadn’t resumed his libertine habits. Mainly because he’d been busy sending his mother into another universe, being abducted, cursing his reattached wings, and learning that the new lieutenant was Cain(!). It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried to get back to his carefree debauchery. The feathery traitors on his back had just kept getting in the way and ruined the mood.

That, and he hadn’t had quite the same appetite as before. Or perhaps his sexscapades had just become less filling. Either way, the hunger roused by their kiss had still burned inside him—a hunger that couldn’t be sated by one-night stands and sex parties. Because, as reluctant as he’d been to admit it back then, all he’d wanted, all he’d desired, was her.

But she had been forbidden fruit, and for once, he’d refused to bite. For once, something—someone had mattered more to him than his own wants and needs. And so, after a couple of (by his standards) unsatisfying shags, and for the first time in history, he’d had sex with no one but himself. Only accompanied by the ever-fading memory of her mouth on his, and bittersweet fantasies of what could have been.

It’d been rather depressing.

At some point, she had, for some inexplicable reason, started dating Lieutenant Pierce, aka. the world’s first murderer. Consequently, Lucifer had put all his energy into proving to her just how much better than the Murderous Man Ham he was. In addition to providing her with her favourite snacks, buying her a car, and other small acts of kindness, he’d continued to stay abstinent, solo sessions aside. Sleeping around with half of LA didn’t exactly say ‘loyal and devoted’—not to Chloe, at least—and he hadn’t wanted to lose her over meaningless sex. Eventually, he had (with a little help from a friend) realised that it would take more than expensive gifts, decadent dinners, and celibacy to win her over. That he’d have to tell her how he felt about her, instead of telling her how to feel about Pierce. With hope dangerously blooming in his chest, he had gone to finally confess the feelings he’d tried to suppress for so long—only to have an inadequate diamond ring and a quite unexpected ‘yes’ get in the way.

In the throes of jealousy and heartbreak and so many other painful emotions he couldn’t name, he’d started bringing people into his bed again. He’d thought it would help him get over Chloe, or at least keep his mind off her and bring him in a better mood—none of which had been the case, of course. Because all he could think of, as he would lie there, thrusting with as much passion he could muster into his amour d’un jour, was that it wasn’t her. That she’d chosen Pierce—chosen Cain. That he’d had and would have her in ways Lucifer could only dream of.

(And oh, did he dream. To a pathetic degree.)

In spite of the sulky thoughts that had invaded his mind every time he’d been entertaining someone for the night, he had, as always, managed to make all participating parties, himself included, reach their climax—often more than twice. But while they had left his place smiling and satisfied like never before, he’d lied motionless in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, feeling as empty and as starved as he had pre-sex. If not more.

He probably should have realised then that his days as a serial lover were over. Should probably have realised it long before that, actually—say, when an innocent kiss had changed something fundamental inside him. But he hadn’t realised anything. Not then. Not when rekindling his relationship Eve had made him feel oddly guilty. Not when their weekend-long orgies had done nothing to fill the void inside him. Not when he’d found himself alone in the shower, getting off to sappy daydreams rather than the luscious woman waiting in his bed. Not when he’d finally broken up with said woman, and his excessive need for polyphonic stimulation had vanished altogether.

Nor had he realised it any of the times he’d looked at Chloe—when the stars in her eyes and the purity of her soul had taken his breath away. Not when she so openly and without fright had accepted him in his true form. Not when she’d made him see that it wasn’t his true form after all. Not during any of their most tender moments—moments he could only have shared with her. Not when she had felt like home, more than Heaven, Hell or Earth ever had.

Maybe he had started realising it when she between sobs and pleas had declared her love for him. (It was, after all, in that moment he’d realised he loved her in return, and more than he could even begin to understand). But it wasn’t then, and it wasn’t there, it had finally dawned upon him—that Detective Chloe Decker had ruined the First and Greatest Slut of the Universe.

No, the ultimate epiphany had come to him far, far away from her soft lips and her warm heart. Had first come to him when he’d let himself fall and sat in the throne he’d never wanted. Tortured by her absence for millennia on end. For it was there, amongst ashes and demons and scum, in the blackness of the abyss, deprived of her light, that he’d felt it. An all-encompassing desire, a scorching, excruciating longing to be with her. And only her.

It had been the single saddest case of Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

And fonder it had grown. For each day he spent in Hell without her, each year, each century, it only became all the more clear—crystalline, eventually, glowing brightly in the black smog: He loved her. Exclusively, absolutely, and unconditionally. 

Still does.

And even more so now. Now that he knows the feeling of her skin against his, and that she always vacuum-cleans to Spice Girls. Knows just how loud she snores, and what her naked body looks like in the sunlight. Now that he knows she kisses (far) better than she cooks, but that she’s no stranger to fixing a leaking pipe. Knows that it takes four tequila shots to get her horny and two glasses of red wine to have her falling asleep on the couch. Knows how she’ll toss and turn in bed when there’s a killer on the loose, and the peace on her face when they’ve put one behind bars. Now that he knows what makes her gasp in pleasure and what makes her cry with laughter. What makes her roll her eyes, and what makes her stomp out of the room. Knows the sound of her ‘good morning, baby’, and her ‘sleep well, honey’. The sound of her ‘I love you’ murmured against his lips.

Now that he knows her—truly knows her—he can do nothing but love her more with each passing hour.

And the best part is, she seems to feel the same way about him.

What a lucky bastard that makes him.

Because it was luck that brought them together. Not Dad’s will. He knows that now. Yes, she would never have existed had it not been for his Father’s divine intervention, but He didn’t create her from his ribs or code her to love him. As opposed to what Lucifer had thought for so long, they’re not made for each other, not like that. The fact that she met Lucifer? Definitely Dad’s plan. But that she let him into her life? Into her heart? Now, that she can only blame herself for. 

Lucifer blames her too—has questioned her judgement many times over the years, but always with an impossible amount of gratitude. Despite… everything, she chose him. They chose each other. 

He still doesn’t understand the whole soulmate-thing humans are so keen on (why praise your free will only to romanticise the idea of a predetermined partner?), but he can’t deny that he sees it now, the point of monogamy. It’s not that you can’t live without the person, or that you feel obliged to be with them until death do you part. It’s not about containing desires.

No, it’s about not wanting to live without this someone.

And, much to his surprise, sex has very little to do with it. If he ever had to choose between having the best sex of his life every day or always being in Chloe’s company but never getting laid, his balls would be bluer than all smurfs combined. And he’d still be the happiest Devil alive.

Fortunately, he gets both her company and the best sex of his life. But it’s not the incredible orgasms that keep him higher than any party drug ever did. It’s merely being near her. The closeness. The trust. The love.

He wouldn’t trade that— wouldn’t trade her for anything. (Not even a ménage à trois with Aphrodite and Marilyn.)

Once he realised that, it had only taken him two years to act on it. First, he’d sat down and had a short but heartfelt conversation with Beatrice. When that went well, he’d visited his old sparkly friends in the sky, for the first time since he formed them, and carefully picked the tiniest bit off the Brightest of them all.

And now, he’s finally making his way up the coast to the beach—the beach—as a fragment of his dearest star twinkles brighter than ever inside the gold ring nestled against his fluttering heart.

For years, his innermost desire has been to spend every day with her and do his absolute best to make her happy. He not only knows but feels that there is no one else for him. That they are, in the most beautiful and incredible way possible, stuck with each other; they might as well make it official.

If she says yes, that is.

Edit: I have come to realise that I probably should have given @thewollfgang some credit for the idea about the ring. I am truly in love with their ‘Ring’-fic, and I’m not sure I would have gotten the idea of Lucifer putting a star in Chloe’s ring if I hadn’t read their fic. And now that I just read it again, I realise that the ring being in Lucifer’s breast pocket also is heavily inspired by the same fic. So, lots of credit to the absolutely amazing @thewollfgang on this one. 

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

Stars and Stones

Pairings: Sokka x Reader

Summary: You were lucky enough to find a man you truly loved in what little was left of the Southern Water Tribe but not telling anyone about it leads to some problems when a marriage is arranged with someone else.

Warnings: None

Word Count: 4700

_______________________________________

“How many stars do you think are really up there?” You asked Sokka as the two of you lied side by side on a seal-skin blanket, staring up at the night sky. The stars always shone with brilliance when you were away from the lights of the village but something about tonight made them look even more dazzling than usual. 

Sokka’s arm was bent so that his head was resting on his hand and you lied on his bicep, your body practically lying on his. You felt him shrug beneath you, “Probably millions.” 

“They’re beautiful.” You commented, eyes locking on a particular cluster of stars that had a few specks of pink and blue in it. 

“None of them are as beautiful as you.” He complimented. 

You couldn’t help but laugh, “You’re so lame! That’s the oldest line in the book!” 

Sokka sat up just enough to look down at you with an offended look, “I compliment you and you call me names? Not even a thank you!” He scoffed, his voice raising in pitch. 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” You laughed, leaning in and trying to peck him on the lips, but he kept squirming away. 

"No! No! It's fine, I see how it is." He teased while wiggling away from you, trying to sound serious but his voice raised a few octaves, like it always did when he was joking around.

Finally, you ended up having to nearly roll on top of him and hold his head between both of your hands. He quit struggling when you squished his tan cheeks together and exhaled exasperatedly through his nose while cooking an eyebrow. You giggled and finally claimed that kiss he'd been jokingly avoiding, “Thank you.” 

Sokka’s eyes stayed closed for just a short moment after you pulled apart, savoring the moment, before you settled back into your old spots. This time, you snuggled a little closer into the thick, soft coat covering his chest and using it to warm the exposed skin on your face. Even in the spring, it was never warm enough to be truly comfortable in the South Pole. 

The two of you lied like that for a while, just taking in each other’s presence, feeling each other's chests rise and fall with each breath. If you hadn't both been wearing your thick coats, you probably could have heard his heartbeat. 

What you and Sokka had was strange but perfect. Your parents had been close personal friends with Chief Hakoda and his wife so when you and Sokka were born around the same time, your mothers pretty much had it decided that you’d be friends. Much to their excitement, you and Sokka became closer than they ever could have imagined. You weren't just friends, you were best friends, soul mates. At first you both insisted that it was a platonic soulmate situation, that you were meant to love and support each other in everything from a friend-like position. But that all changed a few months ago when you and Sokka went fishing. 

Katara would usually go with him but she'd gotten sick and their grandmother didn't want him going alone so you joined. While you were out, though, a storm had surged in without warning and the swells toppled Sokka out of the boat and into the freezing waters. You jumped in and saved his life, setting up camp in an ice cave you stumbled upon before managing to drag a very weak and sick Sokka into it. You were a waterbender but knew close to nothing about how to harness your powers. All you were able to do was pull the water off of his body and out of his clothes but it didn’t stop the damage that had already been done. 

The next day, you managed to get him back to the village where the healer had fixed him up. After that night though, everything had changed between the two of you. A thickness hung in the air between you two that had never been there before, one that you initially attributed to a sudden feeling of gratitude and protectiveness but it wasn’t long before you both realized it was so much more than that.Your jokes teasing each other about how ugly the other one was became less and less frequent. Your little friendly side hugs turned into full fledged embraces. Some compliments were even exchanged occasionally. And then, finally, one day, you kissed and everything changed. Things were unofficial but neither of you ever felt like it needed to be. Your relationship was never necessarily a secret but you also weren't those most affectionate couple in public so most people in the village didn't notice a big change. Nobody really knew that the two of you were together but neither you nor Sokka cared much because you two knew and that was enough. 

Sokka was grateful for the thick fur covering both your chests so that you couldn't hear his heart thudding out of control right now. He shifted a little, grabbing something in his pocket, "Hey, Y/N?" He began, but just as soon as he started, his confidence completely fell. 

 "Mhm?" You hummed, turning to look at him.

You were so beautiful it almost hurt him. Sokka’s chest tightened every time he got to look into your eyes like this and truly appreciate just how stunning you were. And just like that, he let go of the small object and dropped it back in his pocket. "I - uh - I just wanted to say that I think you're perfect." 

Your cheeks flushed bright pink and you giggled adorably, "I think you're perfect, Sokka." You kissed him one more time, this time on the cheek. 

"We should probably head back." You said, reluctantly pushing yourself off Sokka. 

His arms shot out to pull you back in, "No," he whined, "Not yet!" 

You allowed him to pull you down and you crashed back onto his body, your arms wrapping around his torso, "My mom said that she wanted to talk tonight. She said that there was something important." You said important like it was something spooky and ominous. 

Sokka’s eyebrows furrowed, "What is it?" 

You shrugged your shoulders, finally standing up, "No idea. She just said we needed to talk." 

You reached down to help pull Sokka to his feet. He dusted the powdered snow off his pants, "That doesn't sound terrifying at all." He noted sarcastically. His face dropped into something a little more serious, "Did it… did it sound like something may have happened to our dads?" He asked nervously. 

Your dad had gone off to fight with Hakoda and the other men in the tribe three years ago and nobody had heard from them in a long time. It was hard to keep your mind from wandering to the worst case scenarios but you shook your head, "I don't think so. My mom's voice didn't have that kind of tone. But I guess we'll find out…" Now that the thought was in your head, you found it difficult to shake and it was all you could think about for the short walk back to the village. 

Tents were scattered around the familiar tribal village. The woman who lived beside you was out front, smoking fish over the fire to preserve for the next storm that was sure to hit any day now. 

Your tent looked like every other, it felt like, save for the markings painted in black onto the flap that covered the opening that your mother had painted on, some of the old symbols that her grandmother had shown her from back when the Southern Water Tribe was a thriving nation, back before it had been brought to the brink of extinction by the Fire Nation. You too, always thought they were beautiful and you could only hope to see the war end in your lifetime so you could help rebuild your tribe. 

“Let’s see what’s going on.” You muttered out loud, though mostly to yourself, as you swept aside the painted hide. Sokka followed you into your fairly spacious tent to see your mother with a man you didn’t know and a boy around your age. 

It appeared as if your mother and the unknown man had been in conversation because they stepped away from each other ever so slightly when you and Sokka entered. You looked strangely at the new man and the boy who looked very similar to him. Both appeared to be water tribe but they were nobody that you had ever seen in the South (and you knew almost everyone in the small group that existed now). “Y/N, I’m glad you’re here,” Your mother began before glancing behind you, watching as Sokka came to enter as well, “Oh, and Sokka.” She added, her voice falling slightly, as if his presence was somehow a nuisance, which was something that had never been an issue before. Your mother usually loved him. 

“You wanted to talk?” You asked, wondering who these men were and why the hell they were in your home. 

Your mom took a deep breath in and wrung her mitten covered hands together, “Well, um, maybe it’s best if Sokka stepped outside.” She nodded to the door, trying as politely as possible to encourage Sokka to leave. 

“Why would Sokka need to leave?” Nerves began to rise as your brows furrowed. You didn’t know where this was going but you didn’t have a great feeling about it. 

She swallowed hard, nodding in acceptance and resigning to the fact that Sokka would stay, “This is Hato and his father Tekah. They’re both from the Northern Water Tribe.” 

“The Northern Water Tribe?” You asked in surprise. You’d never met anyone from… well anywhere other than the Southern Water Tribe, other than the Fire Nation soldiers that raided your village years ago, but you hardly counted that as ‘meeting’ anyone. 

Tekah leaned forward ever so slightly in a small bow which his son mirrored, “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Y/N.” 

“Finally?” You cocked an eyebrow, shooting a glance to your mother. 

She sighed and looked at the ground before clasping her hands together nervously, “Your father has been gone for over three years now, Y/N. You’re getting older and the world is getting more and more dangerous. I need to make sure that you’re safe. So Tekah and I have been speaking for some months and we’ve arranged for you to marry his son, Hato.” 

You nearly choked on air. “What?!” You and Sokka exclaimed simultaneously.

You were in utter shock and disbelief that your mother could do this, “You arranged my marriage without telling me?! How could you do this?”

The look in your mother’s eyes was pleading but stern, “Y/N, I know I probably should have told you sooner-” 

“Pfft, yeah!” You scoffed, interrupting her. 

“But…” She paused, her eyes scolding you for your intrusion, “This is for your safety and security. Your father told me to protect you at all costs when he left and this is what it takes. Hato is a very pleasant young man and I think you will really grow to love him. I know I did the same with your father! But I think you and Hato would get along very well. He’s a waterbender too!” 

You looked at the Northern Water Tribe boy, who stood there silently. His tanned cheeks were flushed red with awkwardness and embarrassment but his face remained relatively neutral. His blue eyes were piercing and his bone structure was sharp. His dark hair hung down, about jawline level, accentuating his sharp features. Despite his angular features, he still looked very kind. He really was an attractive young man and, under different circumstances, you could have possibly considered the possibility of dating him. But these weren’t different circumstances. 

You looked to Hato, “Look, Hato, you are a very attractive guy and you seem very nice so please take no offense to this but I will not be marrying him!” You told your mother firmly, keeping your voice calm but final, “I appreciate the protection effort but I am a waterbender and more than capable of protecting myself.” 

“I heard that you are a waterbender, only one of two that still exist down here. There are many waterbenders in the North and you can be trained to be a healer with the rest of the women.” Tekah tried to make this sound like a perk but all you could hear was with the rest of the women. 

An undignified tcha left your mouth, “I don’t want to be told by some guy how I’m allowed to use my powers! I want to fight!” 

Your mother looked unamused by your insolence and raised her chin, looking down on you, “Y/N! This is non-negotiable. Tekah is a very highly regarded member of politics in the Northern Tribe and Hato is one of their strongest warriors. Not only will you live in a safer place, but you will live a life where you will want for nothing!” 

“Nothing except free-will!” You yelled, gesturing to the Water Tribe boy, “You talk about safety and security and wanting for nothing but what I want is a choice! I don’t even know this boy!” 

“But you will get to know him. And you will grow to love each other.” Your mother insisted. She looked up to Tekah with an apologetic look. When you glanced at the older man, you were surprised to see that he didn’t actually look angry at you. If anything, he almost looked as if he understood. Perhaps he was forced into an arranged marriage that he didn’t want to be in himself, you pondered. 

Tekah gestured kindly while he chimed in, “I understand your reservations, Y/N. But please be assured that Hato is a wonderful young man who can provide for you. You can come live in the Northern Water Tribe in a thriving community and live happily with my son. You can always come back and visit whenever.” 

You felt cornered and attacked. What were you supposed to say? If you said yes and agreed to marry Hato, you’d be forever miserable, leaving behind Sokka, the only man you’d ever really loved and forced to move to the opposite side of the planet. If you said no, though, then you’d be directly disobeying your mother as well as disrespecting Hato and Tekah. But this wasn’t as simple as refusing to do the dishes or laundry. Refusing this marriage had serious implications on the honor of yourself and your family. 

“Just because you had an arranged marriage doesn’t mean that I have to, mother!” You insisted, your voice raising with anger. 

Your mother looked furious with you now, “You are embarrassing yourself and your family. We all have to make sacrifices for the better good.” 

“The better good of what?” You scoffed, “Did you get a good deal for me or something? Am I worth a lot of goats?” When your mother didn’t respond, you looked over to Hato, “What about you? You’ve been awful quiet. What do you think about all of this?” 

The boy looked shocked that you asked what he thought about the arrangement, “I, um, I am honored that your mother has chosen to trust me with her daughter.” Hints of obligatory respect and neutrality were all over his tone and you could sense it. 

“But do you want to marry me?” You pushed, needing an honest answer because you were pretty damn sure that it was no. 

“Our parents have arranged this marriage-” He stammered, trying to formulate a response that would please everyone but you didn’t give him a chance to finish. 

“Do you want to marry me?” You asked a little harder this time. 

His eyes were wide from your onslaught of honesty and his jaw twitched as he tried to formulate words but failed repeatedly. Hato glanced up at his father, who returned the gesture with a non scrutinizing gaze. “I would love to get to know you better.” 

Hato finally landed on a response that he felt was honest enough while still pleasing your parents. You sighed out, “See? He doesn’t want to marry me either. Why would anyone want to marry someone they don’t know?” 

“Because they understand that survival is better than individual wants.” Your mother sounded exhausted with this argument, “Why is this even such a big deal to you? You’ve never shown interest in a potential husband here.” 

You peered over your shoulder to see Sokka standing behind you. His blue eyes were wide with shock and fear that he was about to lose you. Sokka couldn’t believe this was happening. Neither of you ever thought that not announcing your relationship would have any real repercussions until right now but neither of your parents seemed like the arranged marriage type. While they did happen in Water Tribes, not all marriages were arranged and many people got to choose who they loved. 

In your desperate silence, Tekah whispered to his son, “Why don’t you give it to her.” 

Hato dug in his pocket and pulled out a small necklace. A round blue charmed that was hand carved with intricate designs was looped into a blue cord. Your eyes widened when he extended it to you, knowing exactly what it was. “I made this for you.” Hato announced with a small proud smile at his work. 

You took the necklace and inspected the beautiful carving he’d done, “This is beautiful. And you are very talented but-” 

“But she can’t marry you!” Sokka interjected suddenly. 

Everyone in your tent looked to him, almost all of you having forgotten he was even there. “Sokka! This is none of your concern!” Your mother scolded him, completely shocked that he would have made such an outburst. Sure, he was usually goofy and talkative but his parents raised him to know when he should and shouldn’t speak. 

“Actually, it is…” He admitted quietly. He shot a quick look at you, your eyes meeting in a moment of stillness before he stood up straighter and stronger, appearing to try assert himself as having some form of authority. “I want to marry her.” 

Your eyes widened with shock. That was something that hadn’t really been discussed between the two of you. Of course, you never wanted to break up with him and you were both getting to the age where marriage was inevitable. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with him but nobody had ever actually officially brought up the idea of marriage. 

“What?” You, your mother, Tekah, and Hato all exclaimed at the exact same time. 

“What is this, Y/M/N?” Tekah asked, his first hint at actually being irritated during this exchange. 

Your mother’s eyes narrowed at you and Sokka, “I don’t know but someone better explain quickly.” 

Sokka took an audibly deep breath behind you before stepping up to stand directly beside you. You looked down and watched as his hand weaved itself into yours. When you turned back up to look at your mother, her eyes were still upset but her mouth was opened slightly in surprise. “We’ve been friends our whole lives but we’ve been more than that for a while now and I love her!” 

This wasn’t the first time you guys had told each other you loved each other but you'd never felt more power or sincerity behind the words. These weren't just words he said to you but this was an act of defiance against elders for you, an out-in-the-open declaration of love and a promise to spend forever with you. 

"You guys are together?" Your mother asked, more shocked than angry this time. 

You held onto Sokka's arm and nodded, "Yes. And I love him too, Mom." You shifted attention over to Hato and his father and gave them a sincere look of apology, "I am so sorry that you came all the way down here but I won't marry you. I can't." 

Realizing the beautiful engagement necklace Hato had carved for you was still in your grasp, you left Sokka’s side to press it into Hato's palms, "This is beautiful but it's not for me. Find the girl it's meant for." 

Hato's eyes moved from where your palms were clasped together and, if he was being honest, there was no spark at your touch. His father had told him that you were beautiful (according to your mother's letters at least), and they were far from wrong, but he couldn't deny that he had no actual desire to marry you either, especially not after seeing that you and Sokka were in love. "I am not one to go back on my word. If you wish to be married, then we will be. But I'd rather have taken a wasted trip across the globe than live knowing that I'm responsible for the unhappiness of two people who were meant to be together. " He announced to the group of you, pocketing the necklace. 

“Thank you.” You whispered, nearly tearing up at the overwhelming gratefulness for this man. You stayed standing there before your mother and Tekah, gaze cast downward but leaving yourself to their mercy, though you had no intention of backing down from your decision. 

Hato turned to his father, “Please, father, let’s just return home. Please don’t make her do this.” 

Tekah straightened up, his lips in a tight line. His face was straight but strong and definitely not looking too happy anymore while he glared down at you and then to Sokka and finally to his son. Finally, he sighed, “I am proud of you son. You’ve chosen to put the wellbeing of others ahead of your own and, while I don’t appreciate the wasted trip, I do appreciate your empathy. And I too understand the pain of having to marry someone that’s not the one you love.” He confessed sadly. Hato looked slightly surprised at the confession but stayed silent. 

Tekah looked over at your mother and bowed slightly, “The arrangement is off. Thank you very much for being willing to trust my son with your daughter, regardless.” 

Your mother’s face finally softened, seeing that neither Tekah nor Hato were angry. “I offer my deepest apologies for this entire incident,” She began low and seriously before the frown lines on her face gently softened, “But the last thing I want is for my daughter to be unhappy. Had I known about this relationship,” She gestured between you and Sokka, “I would never have propositioned this arrangement.” 

“I understand. We wish the best for you.” Tekah nodded a cordial farewell before gesturing for his son to follow him out of your tent. 

Before they could totally leave, Sokka nudged Hato’s arm. The Northern boy stopped and looked over before Sokka gave him a small grateful smile, “Thank you, man.” 

Hato cracked a crooked smile, “I can tell you really love her. Treat her well. My best wishes for you both.” He patted Sokka on the shoulder in that endearing boyish way and then shot you a brief smile as well before exiting the tent behind his father, leaving you and Sokka with your mother. 

It was quiet for a mildly uncomfortable moment as everyone took in the events of the past twenty minutes. You breathed in heavily, realizing that you had pretty much just agreed to marry Sokka. 

“Y’know, I actually had something to give you.” Sokka reached into his pocket, breaking the momentary silence, “I had this whole thing planned out where I meant to give it to you under the stars earlier and it was going to be all romantic but then, I don’t know, I guess I just got nervous. But I want to give it to you now.” 

His hand slowly opened to reveal a little carved stone around a cord, much like the one Hato had just presented to you. Only, this time, the symbol was totally unique. On a thin light blue stone, there were three curved “lines” extending from the center in a partial spiral, almost like three little octopus tentacles. Instead of there being lines, though, there were three small carved out circles that decreased in size as they went further out. A single purple crystalline bead of amethyst was placed on either side of the main stone and then a slightly smaller clear gemstone that you guessed to be some sort of quartz sat on the outer sides of the amethyst. 

Gingerly taking the necklace from Sokka’s hand and holding it in your own. You almost couldn’t breathe. Your mouth was open in utter admiration at the beautiful object that had been created for you. Even with all the little imperfections, like how the amethyst and quartz beads weren’t totally smooth, it was absolutely the most perfect gift anyone had ever given you. 

Sokka’s hand reached behind his head to scratch nervously as he watched you stare at the betrothal necklace, “I know it’s not totally perfect but this was the best one that I made. And believe me, I made, like, a ton of these that all failed and-

“It’s perfect, Sokka.” You interrupted, nearly choking back tears. “Are-are you sure you want to do this?” 

Sokka shrugged, “Well, I did just crash your arranged marriage and spend a month making probably about 30 failed stone carvings, which are pretty hard by the way, so, yeah, looks like you’re stuck with me.” He said with a sarcastic air of flippance. He suddenly looked nervous but hopeful, his hands rubbing together in front of him, “Do you accept?” 

You nodded with a large grin, “I do!” You threw your arms around him, clenching the necklace securely in your hand as you held him tight. Sokka’s arms wrapped around your waist and he held you like he was about to lose you, lifting you off the ground. You leaned down and kissed him deeply but stopped when your mother cleared her throat. Sokka set you back down and you both turned to your mom, who stood there, finally looking almost happy for the first time tonight. 

She stepped towards the two of you, “Sokka, you are a wonderful young man. While I wish you two had been open about your relationship so we could have avoided this whole situation, I am honestly glad that of all the people that could be marrying my daughter, it’s you.”

Pride and honor welled up in Sokka’s chest. Even though he was the chief’s son, he’d never felt like anyone had taken him seriously for anything. But this, right now, having your mom tell him that she trusted him with you, the most important thing in either of their lives, was the greatest honor he could think of. 

You couldn’t wipe the smile off your face. You were actually going to marry Sokka! “Oh! Do you mind?” You held up the necklace to Sokka. 

“Of course!” He took it and clasped the necklace around your neck. You turned and adjusted the pendant so it was lying flat against your clavicle. 

“How does it look?” You asked, doing an adorably little shoulder shimmy to show off the jewelry. 

Sokka wanted to chuckle at your cuteness but found himself unable to, too swept up in the beauty that was you, but even more so now with that necklace around your neck, “Like it was meant to be.” He smiled genuinely. 

“I can’t wait to show it off to the tribe tomorrow!” You held the pendant gently and did a little happy dance, your voice almost a squeal. When you stopped, you leaned your body against Sokka’s and caressed his face gently with your hand, “But I can’t wait to marry you more.” 

Sokka picked you up and nearly threw you over his shoulder, “I don’t want to wait until tomorrow.” 

You laughed and squealed as he ran out of the tent towards the center of the camp, where a few people were still milling around before going to bed, yelling, “I want to tell everyone now! Hey guys! She said yes! We’re getting married!” 

[dissociativedaydream]

Vertani - OC!Species

Appearance

Humanoid race.

Skin

Tones vary though remain similar to the human species

Eyes

Iris colors are usually gold, red, or purple though brown eyes are also seen.

Have a reflective lens behind their cornea which allows them better night vision.

They display signs of photosensitivity around their eyes when in bright environments, less severely their skin when exposed to sunlight for long periods.

Teeth

Canine teeth are the easiest identifier to spot as the top teeth are double-pointed in an inverted V, longer peak to the front of the mouth.

Hair

Generally thick and black, textures vary by home region

Curls are rare but are the ideal native beauty standard

It’s usually kept long regardless of gender

Braids are commonly used to show status or life events

Hair is kept up unless in the presence of immediate family or highly trusted friends

General Biology

Bodies are able to regulate body temperatures very well except when sick

Will become sluggish if too cold but thrives in heat

Skin will dry out easily in dry environments regardless of temperature, oils are frequently used to keep skin healthy

Omnivores - Cannot physically go onto a vegetarian diet but can become strictly cavernous and remain healthy.

Homeworld

Their home planet was destroyed and race enslaved up until approximately 35 BBY during which a number of slaves were released though some remained in servitude as they had no other means of survival in the galaxy.

The name has been forgotten by their species but stories let them know that it had been covered by jungles and swamps. It was mostly a temperate climate, jungle regions could get cooler than their swamp counterparts though still remained rather warm.

Culture

Language

The native Vertani tongue has gone extinct, basic now being their first language though many are multilingual.

Religion

While their language died out, their religion continued. The primary god was a dual deity, one side being a god of death, the other being a goddess of fate. Like with many dual deities its symbol often shows as the sun and moon imagery. While the exact name of the animal species that the deity is associated with but it’s generally accepted that the god of death is a large, ground predator while the goddess of fate is seen as a flight-capable bird.

Occupations

Before enslavement, the Vertani people were a warrior species, many of which native-born of the species were frequently force-sensitive though they were unaware of what that means to Jedi/Sith. Instead, they saw those with gifts as chosen by their deity to lead or teach in their military. As their species intermixes with others, force sensitivity is becoming less common but still probable at a 70%:30% ratio.

During enslavement, their skills were used by their masters to assassinate rivals/work on bounty jobs for them as a means of income. Some continued with that line of work after being given freedom since it’s what they know and easy for most because they don’t have a home planet any longer.

Clothing

Clothing is usually layered with the bottom layer being a tunic and leggings. Metal rings usually hang from their waist to gather skirt layers to allow for easier movement. Some wear armor consisting of a breastplate, vambraces over their lower arms, with guards over their thighs and shins. There’s no distinct difference in male or female clothes.

Common for warriors to wear metal caps over their canines, sometimes they’re decorative but if they’re bounty hunters or mercenaries the caps usually contain poison that the wearer has developed an immunity to. If captured or don’t care if their opponent lives or not, they’ll bite to administer the poison.

Courting

Courting without an arrangement was rare to see but still expected even if marriages were arranged. Gifts are usually exchanged between the two betrothed, Ventari encourages their betrothed young to research their to-be mate’s species to decide what present would be best. Frequently these gifts are handmade.

Marriage/Divorce

Most families stick together in small nomadic tribes, members would only really leave for marriage purposes. Since their freedom, many marriages became strategic in a political sense, often marriages were used to buy the family resources, land, or even protection.

Marriage ceremonies are usually large affairs when they can afford it. The ceremony consists of hand binding and vows afterward there’s a feast/party with music and dancing. Traditionally the two newlyweds will dance together in the middle of the dancefloor with their families dancing around them until one spouse carries the other off to their marriage bed.

Divorce is not permitted in the first 3 years of marriage at that point, if there are no children present, the two spouses can basically just walk away from each other. If children are had during that window, divorce is less common and also more frowned upon by their society.

Reproduction

Birth rates for the Vertani were relatively unaffected by their enslavement, families remaining large but gender ratios were skewed, females outnumbered male births 4:1. Due to this, it was incredibly common for females to commit to each other (whether romantic or platonic) or to marry outside of their species, some earning their freedoms prior to liberation this way.

The Vertani have proven to be compatible with numerous species, their reproductive cycles have shown to adapt to their mate’s needs through their regular reproductive cycle follows the typical heat/rut cycle. Once married, after some time, their cycle timing will match their spouses’ cycle to give the couple an optimal chance of having children (this occurs whether the spouse is the same gender or not the same species).

A standard Vertani pregnancy is 8 months with a fetus able to survive outside the womb by 6 months. But more often than not the pregnancies vary in length depending on the Vertani’s mate’s species. After having a baby if the Vertani is the birth giver, their reproductive cycle will pause for the following 9-12 months.

Misc. Customs

Younger generations greet older family members by taking their hand and touching it to their forehead as a sign of respect.

While families usually eat together for meals, parents will usually feed their children first, making sure they get their fill before they start eating.

Tea is consumed for ceremonies, especially weddings. They will consume alcohol if it’s integral to their spouse’s culture but only when required. Frequently to them, alcohol tastes bitter and they can easily get sick off of it. Despite this alcoholism ends up being a frequent problem.

Facial piercings and tattoos are common (body piercings are less so since there’s less cultural significance and more personal preference). Tattoos usually display life events of the individual as well as significant symbolism to their families.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Mutual Pining (2) Masterlist

Links Last Checked: December 4th, 2022

part one

A Little Bit Of California, With A Little Bit Of London Sky (ao3) - juliawrites

Summary: On an impulsive road trip Dan plans right before their high school graduation, the truth will out.

Always (ao3) - phantastic (marvel_ling)

Summary: Phil and Dan broke up but still live together, which can lead to some awkward situations.

as long as i'm here (ao3) - det395

Summary: Facing instructions to leave his dorm amidst the pandemic, Dan turns to his best friend for a place to stay

A Stolen Ring (ao3) - bluejazzberrys

Summary: Dan’s not normal. Why? He's not human, he has a mysterious ring, and he hates Phil Lester. They have a strange past, one filled with bullying and avoidance, but when Dan turns into an incubus, everything changes. He struggles with his identity and cries himself to sleep most nights, yearning to be normal. And somehow the universe makes it worse by bringing him and Phil together - in the most literal sense.

Be Still My Foolish Heart - tobieallison

Summary: Phil is a bartender in a jazz club during the Prohibition and he’s doing his best to live a plain, but safe life. - that all goes out the window when a new jazz band is hired and the drummer, Dan, starts to capture Phil’s heart.

Colour me rosé (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary; nineteen-year-old Dan Howell is looking for a sugar daddy to help him achieve the dream of luxury and romantic affirmations. Phil Lester, newly 24 and very rich, is searching for a romantic and sexual relationship. When stumbling upon the other on the internet, similar interests and all, have they found their match?

Crossing the line (ao3) - dakogutin

Summary: After billionaire Phil Lester meets an unfortunate incident that ends him up in hospital with no memories, Dan Howell— a mistreated employee convinces Phil that he is Dan's working-class husband to get back at him with the many hardships he faced as an employee. What could go wrong?

Friends With (Tax) Benefits (ao3) - counting2fifteen

Summary: After same-sex marriage is legalized in the UK, Phil suggests he and Dan get married to save money on their taxes. Dan initially rejects his proposal, but after some thought, he changes his mind. Except then he starts to… feel things. Things he really shouldn’t be feeling about his best friend and platonic husband. And all of the sudden, what was supposed to be a simple arrangement between friends has the potential to get much, much more complicated.

Surely Dan can keep his feelings repressed for a little bit longer.

i don't know why (i can't keep my eyes off of you) (ao3) - panlesters

Summary: Starting a new university is hard enough without Phil having to convince his best friend PJ he doesn't have a crush on their other flatmate, Dan. He definitely does not have a crush on Dan.

If the Crown Fits (ao3) - tjmcharg

Summary: “We would be like Romeo and Juliet if we dated.” Phil said absentmindedly.

Dan froze in shock.

“How so?” He asked with a forced casual air.

Phil shrugged, and turned the page, “Well forbidden love. Prince and servant aren’t exactly ideal.” He continued to read.

Dan was conscious of his mouth hanging open.

Meet Me In The Hallway (ao3) - CanDanAndPhilNot (enbycalhoun)

Summary: Dan is seven years old when he meets Phil Lester and friendship comes easy for them. Over the years they meet each other in the hallway despite what life throws at them.

Strictly Come Dancing but make it GAY (ao3) - natigail

Summary: @danielhowell: maybe i’d actually consider doing @bbcstrictly if they allowed same-sex couples. who wouldn’t want a sexy man spinning you around? it’s not just a girl’s dream. c'mon people let's see some pretty and fierce girls pair up and handsome and strong boys get it on. i dare you.

Dan Howell calls Strictly out on Twitter for not allowing any same-sex couples and accidentally volunteers himself to be one of the contestants if they were to change that. It was a joke. It had so clearly been a joke. Why did they take him up on it?! He’s sure he’ll trip over his own feet and hate every second, but then he meets his partner, the endearingly clumsy dancer Phil Lester.

the brightest shade of sun (i had ever seen) (ao3) - Tarredion

Summary: one dawn on the isle of man can be enough to unite two craving hearts, even if a lot of heartbreaking thoughts are revealed along the way

The Doorknob (ao3) - kae_karo

Summary: Dan moves to a London flat, after dropping out of Uni. Some strange things start happening (Dan POV)

The Era of the Wingless Angel (ao3) - americanphancakes

Summary: The man, the myth, the legend! Singer-Songwriter Dan Howell is celebrating the 10th anniversary of his debut with a tell-all interview. How did his father’s departure from his life affect his songwriting? Why did his marriage to his background dancer fail? And are he and producer Phil Lester romantically involved? Tune in to find out.

the water might be lovely (ao3) - isleofbants

Summary: Dan, utterly fed up with uni, runs away to the Isle of Man.

Seeking escape, he gets more than he bargained for when he rents a room out from happy-go-lucky, recent grad, Phil Lester.

to all the people i've loved before (and the one who actually made me fall in love) (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil doesn’t crush on people often, but when he does the emotions seem to overwhelm him. The only way he knows how to deal is to write love letters. They were never meant to be read.

The most recent letter threatens to ruin his relationship with his big brother Martyn, so in a fit of panic, Phil finds himself turning to the boy who was the recipient of the very first love letter for help. Even if he is Dan Howell, the school heartthrob.

you’re always busy being make-believe (ao3) - The_Blonde

Summary: “If there is a start then it was probably just a quick fleeting thought of oh, he’s cute which had just been a statement of fact when confronted with Dan’s curls, freckles and dimples at the coffee machine. Dan has one of those perfectly put together faces that catch at some deeply hidden part of Phil (who does not have one of those faces). He had said who’s that? to PJ who replied that’s Dan, he did some amazing project with, like, cell manipulation or something, years ago. I don’t think he’s done anything here though. He’s cute, right? and Phil had said I didn’t really notice, which implied that there had been some noticing, just not much. Just not to the level that would come later.

Dan is surprised to see Phil, every time he collects him during the alarms, like he’s shocked to have been remembered. Sometimes he reaches out his arm to Phil and Phil wonders if he wants to be carried, lifted right out of the building. I can fly he tells Dan, in his daydreams, where do you want to go?”

Or: Phil is a (not so) average Friendly Neighbourhood Superhero who has a hard time keeping up this secret identity thing.

[theuntamednarrator]

Multishipper challenge — Jiang Yanli! Jiang Cheng!

Heck yes Jiang Sibs! Excellent choice, thank you. I'm going to start with Jiang Yanli, since it's her birthday.

Jiang Yanli

• Xuanli - what can I say? MXTX, Xuan Lu, and Cao Yuchen just did a great job of building that relationship for me. Who of us hasn't turned into an awkward fumbling idiot around a pretty girl? What I really like about them is that Jiang Yanli doesn't force him to change, and circumstances don't really either, all of the people involved (well that we care about, Jin Guangshan can die, again) have accepted the engagement being dissolved. Zixuan just grows up, realises Yanli's good qualities, values her, and decides he's going to treat her as she deserves and I just really love their story.

• Yangli - this is just mostly me deciding that Yanli and Mianmian both deserve good things, and what's a better thing than these queens? Nothing, that's what.

• Yangxuanli - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ look I am just a simple polyshipper okay? OT3(+) all the way. What I love about this one is it gives you the best of arranged marriage + childhood best friends + that one girl from lan camp who made you google "can girls marry girls" the second you got home. I think they would all balance each other really well, and shijie absoLUTEly deserves to have two badasses who would throw hands for her.

• Honourable mention - Sangli because I've read a couple of really good fics with this pairing recently and I really like the dynamic of the two underestimated political powerhouses just quietly arranging everyone around them with a smile.

Jiang Cheng

• Chengqing - again Meng Ziyi and Wang Zhoucheng (particularly WZC) just sold this so well. I love that they don't handwave away the inherent conflict and regrets between them in canon, and it's basically impossible to do anything canon-verse/divergent without digging into the debts and obligations between the Wen Siblings and the Twin Heroes, which is delicious. And then modern aus is just the awesomeness of 'two mean bisexuals who dress nicer than you' so what's not to like?

• Sangcheng - but only modern aus/non-canon. I don't think canon Jiang Cheng ever did or would have respected Huaisang enough for there to be any sort of genuine foundation there. I did read some fics that went the 'Huaisang manipulating Jiang Cheng through sex/romance' route early on and it put me off the whole dynamic, but then I had a few modern au fics recommended where the pressure is off them both a bit and those really worked for me.

• Chengyao/Chengsu/Suchengyao - hear me out I know this is a left field one but I'm just really fascinated by what the dynamic between Carp Tower and Lotus Pier is like during those 16 years and these three are at the middle of that. This is more a platonic ship rather than romantic for me (though I have read some really good fics which play with the romance angle too). Jin Guangyao is too smart not to try and get Jiang Cheng on side, especially once it becomes clear the next heir to Carp Tower is going to be spending a lot of time in Lotus Pier. Meanwhile Qin Su is the closest thing Jiang Cheng has now to a sister, and since I hc him as one of those people who gets on better with women than men I can totally see them becoming friends and trading parenting tips about Jin Ling and Rusong over tea in the gardens at Carp Tower.

• Honourable mention - Jiang Cheng, himself, and he. I do hc Jiang Cheng pretty firmly on the aro and ace spectrums (nobody is THAT purple without being at least a little bit ace and also all my faves are a little bit ace). I actually think in canon the ideal for Jiang Cheng is a reverse of the Wei Parents & Jiang Fengmian dynamic where a pair of wandering wlw cultivators somehow end up at Lotus Pier and then never leave, and two years in they're like 'hey please father our children' and he's like 'ugh fine but one of you has to be my heir then I'm sick of the nagging at conferences' and they're like 'ugh fine' but secretly everyone is quite pleased with the arrangement.

Question from here!

[regnantlight]

My headcanon musing got me thinking about the various representations of arranged marriages I’ve accumulated on this blog, and this delights me. I think it’s important to remember that arranged marriages aren’t just a trope, they still happen to this day, with various feelings attached to it! Some are happy to follow the tradition and trust their family completely to pick out their best match (I actually worked with a pharmacist couple who were arranged and very happy together!) Some aren’t happy about it. Some end up falling in love with their spouse. Some don’t. 

And you see this with the matches developed in this blogs universe, which I’m going to break down because I’m in that nerdy mood. 

Zelda and Renfry: A Political (and bad) Arrangement 

These two are an example of not only an arrangement that didn’t work out, but a bad arrangement from the get-go. These two never really stood a chance at a happy marriage, even though they began it on neutral enough territory. Renfry was physically attracted to Zelda, and Zelda was willing put in the effort as a wife, but these two shared very little common ground for them to build a marriage on. Their morals, interests, styles of humors, and general personalities always clashed. They both grow to heavily dislike/hate one another, even after having a child together, and lead as separate lives as possible. Had politics not been involved, they would have been unlikely to have ever been arranged to marry. 

Zelda and Roy: A Political (and good) Arrangement 

Here’s an example of an arranged marriage that held both political advantages and the right ingredients for a healthy, happy relationship. In this case, Zelda and Roy were matched partly for political gain and partly because they shared a lot of common ground. Their friendship over the years was proof enough of that. They grow not only to be in love with one another, but realize that they’ve had such feelings for each other that were merely repressed as they focused on their goals. Had politics not been involved, they would have likely still been matched based on compatibility. 

Calista and Rhoam: A Traditional (and neutral) Arrangement 

Sometimes an arranged marriage results in one-sided feelings, and that was the case for the King and Queen of Hyrule. These two were matched based on common ground and Rhoam’s ability to be a ruler, and on paper, had a decent shot of happiness. While the two had a healthy enough relationship, however, Rhoam was the only one who was ever “in” love. Calista, on the other hand, loved him platonically, without any romantic attachment to him. Perhaps if she had not known Urbosa and fallen in love with her, things would have been different. Maybe not. They were matched with the best intentions but the heart wants what the heart wants.