#without excruciating pain…..
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I wish I could just veilguard all day today to escape Things but ofc I woke up at 3am with an absolutely killer migraine…..and I can’t afford not to work today 🫠
#it’s the worst I’ve have in a while ugh#it’s half weather related and half the massage I got yesterday related#maybe half shark week related too#yeah that’s 3 halves it’s that bad okay#this is the first time I’ve been able to tolerate my eyes being open in a few hours#without excruciating pain…..#I can’t afford to miss work today tho…..#I’m still staying home because I will not be able to do the things I need to at work today#physically#there are so many foot treatments today#(which require front desk help and lots of being On for the clients)
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Me lying on the couch unable to move without excruciating hip pain, watching youtube videos of beautiful chinese lady farmers who make furniture from scratch and cook extensive banquets and butcher animals and farm silk worms without ever getting their makeup smudged or a hair out of place: I bet if I got my life together I could do that
#defira rambles#to be fair I am not currently lying on the couch#I am draped over my desk at work with excruciating hip pain#because my mortgage doesn't get paused just because I can't drive without crying#I still have to prop myself up at my desk and pretend to work#but on the inside I'm watching Liziqi again
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we spend the entire show watching house do anything to treat his pain — he goes to (understandably) insane, destructive lengths just to ensure he never has to suffer being sober. his entire life is focused around a cycle of distraction, thrill-seeking, and avoidance. we know that his home is filled with hundreds upon hundreds of pills, so he can always prolong and maximise those moments where his agony is muffled. and yet, in the final scene, we see him dive head-on into the end, and despite this being the most gruelling, insurmountable prognosis of his entire life, we see him smile bathed in the sunlight; those muted tones are dauntingly lifted, yet there’s no echo of a bottle rattling.
#this is a pretentious way of wording it but#it’s driving me insane that house — at the peak of his addiction and for most of the years following the infarction — was seen to take#HANDFULS of vicodin every few hours#because it hurts for him to even just EXIST#he’s never gone long stretches without relapsing#and yet!! and yet!! it’s so visibly clear that they don’t have much on them when they run away#not enough luggage space for a chronically ill AND a terminally ill person’s worth of painkillers anyway#it’s absolutely certain that there will be pain.#for both of them#this will be no doubt the most excruciating months they’ve ever lived through#but it’s worth it#and they’re more content than they’ve ever been#I JUST. AUGHHHHHHGGGH#house md#greg house#gregory house#hatecrimes md#hilson#james wilson#house/wilson
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MacGyver (2016) s2e21 Wind + Water | Cold Open
#macgyver 2016#macgyver#cold opens#video#angus macgyver#riley davis#2x21#2x21 wind + water#mac#riley#queue#fun fact this is the first one ive actually edited since the beginning scene is just so damn dark#and it ended up still being too dark but. hey this is probably as good as its gonna get#trust me I wish my editing skills were better too#ok anyways. this cold open ranks super high for me. I just adore it#the way mac's face screws up as he tells riley he needs her to start complaining. like it pains him to admit hjGDSJHDS it kills me#also A++ to riley for her jack impression. spot on#also her going “oh thats gross” everytime she touches the knobs to the burners? love that detail#anyone who's ever worked in a kitchen knows Exactly how nasty those get#especially in a diner like that#also. the getting trapped in a freezer? and them being in there for likely 10+ mins (if not the full 30 waiting for exfil) I can't imagine#how excruciating that would be. it's a challenge to go over 5 minutes in one without a coat/gloves (for me at least. and I live in a pretty#chilly place so I'd definitely say I'm used to the cold)#and theyre wearing nothing that would insulate them from the cold#this is all a long winded way of saying there's so much whump potential here DSJFDJHNDS#also I must mention mac's sad little#“I really need a vacation🥺”#and then not only does he not get one. hes held hostage and then kidnapped by bank robbers.
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I was gonna try to go see my mom this weekend but still needed some time to rest up from traveling to/from Hawaii with a handful of family members and this is what she responded with
#I love my mom#ramblings#my family#she's getting her other hip replaced next month!! she'll finally be able to walk again without excruciating pain!!!!
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random idea of a soulmate au where soulmates share each others pain (e.g. you trip and injure your knee and your soulmate also feels your pain on their knee) and you're soulmates with malleus but you've fallen head over heels in love with leona and want nothing more than for him to be happy and so in ch2 when savanaclaw plays against diasomnia in spelldrive, you actively put yourself in excruciating pain all so to disable malleus so your beloved lion can finally, finally get a taste of being first place
to be continued here
#i dont know where this came from but im loving the drama#i imagine the excruciating pain would be drinking some sort of poison??#just the image of malleus standing tall and proud in the field#and hes suddenly hunched over in pain and unable to move#leona doesn't know what's going on but he sees an opportunity and seizes it#and i imagine you wouldn't want to/be able to tell leona what you did either#since you want him to believe he kinda won without any tricks#so he's just upset and frustrated afterwards when he finds out you've been hurt#but he'll be like a little kid showing off about how he defeated malleus and won the game#the angst potential lakdhejbsldjsla#rinna rants#twisted wonderland#leona kingscholar x reader
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Happy day 10 of this migraine. Should I throw a party when it inevitably gets to 14 days?
#my bloodstream is 99% caffeine & sugary drinks & excedrin migraine#I’ve never been so well hydrated in my life#I’ve tried literally everything#I’ve been drinking caffeine and huge amounts of water#I’ve tried eating healthy and eating carbs & sugar#I’ve tried laying down in a dark room with a wet cloth on my head for hours AND I’ve tried exercising and being out and about#I’ve tried with and without my glasses#I haven’t been using my phone or my computer#I’ve been rotating the type of painkillers I’ve been using#literally nothing helps#but somehow everything makes it worse#it got worse after laying down with my eyes closed in the dark with a wet cloth???#somehow???#I would like to remove my brain and eyeballs and put them in a bowl of ice water#I think that would fix me#I haven’t had a migraine this bad or lasting this long in YEARS#and the worst part? migraines make me fucking stupid. I literally can’t even think.#I’m like that guy who uploaded his brain into a computer and can’t think without excruciating pain in the magnus archives
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Going on wellbutrin again suuuucks. I get over the side effects eventually but I just have to deal with this feeling of body activation where my heart is just racing all day while also being exhausted. It makes my body feel like it did before I got my PTSD under control. The only way I can really easily regulate it is with physical touch and that is not happening anytime soon 🥲
#even meditation doesnt work all that well for this which drives me up the fucking wall#like it works for excruciating pain but not this??? hello??#dealing with it without physical touch this time is just fucking miserable#this feeling is overstimulating. ive been in a good mood all day but its just wearing me down so fast#also i need to point out: im really happy to be single it just sucks i can no longer regulate myself that way#sorry for being late posting todays medical information btw
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There is no glory in suffering but also my dad thinks I’m addicted to advil so I guess I have to suffer this migraine forever
#the bottle is almost empty and the last time I took some he was like ‘you have a headache again? 🤨’#YES MOTHERFUCKER I GOT IT FROM YOUR GENES!!!!! HAVE MERCY ON ME!!!!!!#anyways I’m gonna leave the house later so I’ll take some before I leave#fucked up and evil and I can’t even sit up without excruciating pain
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i keep going from sobbing my eyes out to seething with anger and the whiplash is exhausting
#⟡ — kayleigh’s yapping#i haven’t been able to sleep and i feel like i am dying due to my period triggering yet another autoimmune flareup#was supposed to spend a majority of this week with my irl bestie but#it is snowing so much outside and our snowblower isn’t working and i was barely able to get into the garage without getting stuck last night#whatever i am just going to try desperately to sleep because i clearly need the rest#another instance of me being a horrible friend because my body is in excruciating pain and i’m fucking exhausted#she is hormonal and depressed and her husband is out of town for the week due to work and yet#she should be used to the constant disappointment by now to be honest because i am a piece of shit friend
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girl how did i bruise 1 singular knuckle like its swollen and turning purple that is Not normal
#right hand out of commission now becuase i cant bend my finger without excruciating pain :-(#vadtalks
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the most unprepared demigods you ever did see
children of a miracle, don diablo and marnik / the weight, kathleen graber / unfold, porter robinson and totally enormous extinct dinosaurs / "church and state", succession (2023) / tiktok user blaineunderstudy / his stillness, sharon olds / dune: part two (2024) / andrei tarkovsky, journal 1970-1986 / electra, sophocles / the world was wide enough, lin-manuel miranda and leslie odom, jr. / little miss sunshine (2006) / soldier, poet, king, the oh hellos
#you lost your father but they're also building his altar. what now#blue eyes#cornelius#planet of the apes#dawn of the planet of the apes#war for the planet of the apes#originally made this private for My Own Purposes but even without their sister oc this is somewhat intelligible! i choose to profit!!!!!!!#honestly more succession and dune girlies should get into this franchise imagine winning so hard and by winning i mean excruciating pain#and yes i used the same quote twice what ABOUT it-
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if my unfortunate affliction can ever be cured by modern medicine. i am going to eat a smash burger. if i could eat mammal products again i will cry
#find myself watching anthony bourdain episodes from 2009 and wish for food i cannot eat without excruciating pain#not a horse
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This Friday we did some real exercises (I'm absolutely useless when it comes to doing exercise)
It's Monday and my legs still don't work
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#rad thoughts#exercise#sorry exercise enthusiasts out there 💀#I honestly hate doing exercise 😭#IT JUST HURTS SM HELP#I AM REGRETTING JOINING THAT EXERCISE GROUP SO BADLY RN#they said it'll be fun! YEAH YES VERY FUN#how is being unable to move properly without feeling excruciating for more than 3 days fun ⚰️#IT AIN'T FUN TO ME IT'S LEGIT TORTURE ☠️#I was honestly about to break down in tears while doing the exercises WHEEZEE#BUT RAD THE FITNESS! YEAH I KNOW BUT I DON'T MIND MY BELLY IM OK WITH THE BELLY 😭#(oh yeah legit it's real good to do exercise to keep your weight in check cuz yeah being too overweight is bad for health and all that yup#(in my case my weight is alr so yeah)#(I guess I just need to do exercise to stop being so sedentary or something lol)#NOT ME JUST SITTING ON A CHAIR ALL DAY DRAWING ⚰️#pain#funny#funny thoughts#radaverse
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wishing i was here instead of being curled up on death’s doorstep 🙃
#you KNOW it’s bad when i haven’t smoked or had a red coke#in my dream last night i was chugging every beverage i could get my hands on#really i just miss eating without excruciating pain— i’ve lost 5lbs in 3 days 😭😭😭#i feel like a baby but all i want is to be held 🥺
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so many bits of me have been hurting so much today you guys *writhing in worm fashion*
#joint pain sucks#loadingbearing joint pain sucks extra#could barely walk today without every step being a herculean labor in Focus#am in bed and still. everything hurts.#randomness#shit day was as shit as expected btw#out of the house from ten to five#appointment was three minutes with technician then an hour wait because dr was running late for an eight minute check up#and then i left walked two excruciating blocks and had to walk back because they forgot to give me my prescription which thnx#did manage to find a 2.69 euro salad at the supermarket so i could eventually think straight before heading to the train station#anyway my hands elbow hips knees and feet hurt rn so uh that’s great#and i am only getting help (which makes everything hurt more and Might help my pain…in one or two months) for the minor foot pain#not the Won’t Let Me Walk foot pain because that needs a different therapist dr#ANYWAY i hurt and i’m tired and i haven’t really eaten#anyway two electric boogaloo:#g’night
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