#with this monkey it really is a constant case of

[sketching-shark]

tbh--and especially in this era of many protagonists getting viciously belittled by antagonists while they can't say or do anything except take it while looking sad--one of the delightful things about og classic Monkey King is how his brutal honesty about his own desires & crimes comes with a free telling his opponents to 1-800-GO-TO-HELL.

[bumblebeesfromvenus]

Tongue tied 🪶

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This only took me 3 months to finally get out..... 😃

ANYWAY, have some friends to lovers with Leon <3

The order is here -> 🎂

You and Leon have been attached by the hip for as long as you can remember. A secret written language is constructed by both of you to talk in class. Little does Leon know the letter you write to him years letter, encrypted in your language, contains the deepest parts of your heart and soul.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

If there was one way to describe you and Leon, it would be thick as thieves. Always have been and always will be. Ever since you first met on your first day of elementary school, the two of you have been inseparable.

You remember it well; the excitement that coursed through your little 6 year old veins of new beginnings, friends and more. Finally you were a big girl, ready to take on the world with a determined smile.

With confidence, you left your parents at the entrance with teary eyes and pride radiating off of them as you strutted into the building, tightly holding onto the straps of your new, sparkly backpack.

You listened closely to your new teacher and fellow classmates as they introduced themselves, the smile on your face a constant throughout the day.

However, when you stepped out into recess, taking in the monkey bars and swings with wide eyes, something -or rather someone- was barely fitting into your field of vision.

A boy with sandy blonde hair and blue eyes.

He was a good bit taller than you, no surprise really, but he kept his head low and fidgeted with the zipper on his blue police-themed schoolbag.

He seemed nervous and weary, only ever rasing his head when a rowdy child zoomed past him.

Although anxiety-ridden, he didn't strike you as unaware. He had his back pressed to a wooden structure in the back of the playground, overlooking the open space.

Your brows furrowed when you finally realized that he was all alone, and you couldn't have that!

Everyone needed a friend. And you, on this fateful day, decided to be his.

Same as you, Leon remembered that day like it only happened yesterday. How he sat in the back of the class, in the very last corner. Or how he was quiet and timid when the teacher asked for his name and age.

But he particularly remembers when a girl with a bright smile and colorful bows in her hair walked up to him, carefully as not to spook him, told him her name and complimented his backpack.

He thanks the universe for that day, for you, because you've been stuck at his side ever since.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Class was in full swing, the sound of your teacher speaking and the mildly uncomfortable scrape of chalk on the blackboard broke the stagnant silence in the room.

You glanced up from time to time, trying to seem like you were paying attention, when in reality you were constructing a letter to your best friend.

You were a good student, no doubt, but the urge to yap with Leon was greater than any unsolvable math equation.

So, when you two had a sleepover last weekend, you stayed up all night coming up with a secret written language between the both of you.

You hoped it would allow you to ask quite meaningless and maybe even funny questions in class without getting into too much trouble.

You hoped the teacher would write it off as nonsensical scribbles and you'd get away with a stern look.

You carefully drew the symbols you'd come up with, checking the translated alphabet that both you and Leon had a copy of in your pencil cases.

With the last stroke you stared down proudly at your somewhat neat work before folding the piece of paper and glancing at Leon with a subtle jerk of your head.

He grinned and stuck out his hand, waiting for you to place the letter into his palm. He sank back into his seat a little, unfolding the paper and discreetly turning his eyes to the note in his hands.

When he looked up again to check his translation sheet, the teacher stood in front of his desk, arms crossed over her chest and displeased expression on her face.

"What have I said about notes in class, hm? Hand it over." She said coldly, opening her hand.

Leon grumbled, his head hanging low as he hestiated.

"Give it."

Her tone was warning, and with a slight scowl on his face, he crumbled up the paper and layed it in her palm.

Promptly, she smoothed out the note and tried to read it, only to fail miserably with a confused and irritated look.

"What's this? It's just scribbled nonsense!" She exclaimed.

You and Leon both stifled a laugh, shooting a glanced at the other. The teacher scowled and the letter creased beneath her grip.

"Don't waste my time." She scolded before tossing away the paper and continuing her teaching, always keeping an eye

on you and Leon while the both of you giggled in the back.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Those memories and many more played in your head as you sat hunched over your desk in the middle of the night, staring at a blank piece of paper. The light was starting to burn your eyes and you could feel a subtle ache crawl up your spine as Sleep beckoned you sweetly into its embrace.

You sighed deeply, rubbing at your eyes. Never in a million years had you thought you'd end in a situation like this.

The older you got, the more did your feelings for Leon change. From a strong and pure childhood friendship into a harmless crush that turned into being so in love with him that every second spend away from him was torture.

You needed to get it out. To see if he -a one in a million chance- felt the same about you and would end your suffering.

But you couldn't say it straight to his face, no, the thought alone was mortifying. The fear of rejection clasping its hand around your throat so tightly that no words would come out.

So, you thought out your options; tell him via a text message? God, the most impersonal ways of it all, a hard no.

Have a messenger deliver the news? You really didn't want to get anyone else involved, but if you had to, you'd ask Claire, a good friend from several of your classes.

And then, when you went through your old school supplies on a nostalgic night, you found the, albeit faded and worn, guide to your secret language.

And now, you had your way of confessing your love for him without seeming like a cowardly bitch or dying of embarrassment and shame.

Still, all words alluded you. You knew how you were going to say it, but not what you would say.

All these feelings that you've had felt wrong, something that should be hidden and locked away. After all this time of pushing them down, it was hard to let them spill.

It was almost impossible to release them from their heavy chains without losing control. But if you'd keep them trapped for any longer, you'd run the risk of having them wither away and die like a flower in a barren desert.

You tugged at your hair, a sound of frustration escaping your lips at your inability to think of even a single phrase.

With an unsteady grip on your pen, all you managed to get down was 'Dear Leon,'. Quite pathetic progress for all of two hours.

You leaned back in your chair with a huff, stretching your neck and shoulders from the cramped and hunched position they've been in for far too long.

Only then did it strike you as you gazed upon the many framed photos of you with your best friend, your other half.

All the memories that were confined behind glass made a smile form on your lips as you were reminded of why you loved him. Why you fell in the first place.

The words of love and passion that you held in your heart for years suddenly bubbled out of you, your hands scribbling down whatever they could.

You laid your heart bare for him, hoping he would cherish it and treat it with care and not return it to you in pieces.

And before you knew it, the page was filled with strokes and curves of the language you'd conjured up so many years ago in your youth. Your fingers were stained with graphite, leaving faint prints on the paper.

With a relieved sigh you added your signature and stuffed the letter along with a translation guide into an envelope. You'd be damned if all of this failed just because Leon didn't have his alphabet anymore.

You'd give the letter to him the next time you saw him, which you realized with horror, would be tomorrow.

You swallowed the bile that rose in your throat, slammed the door on the nerves that were creeping up your spine and sunk into the comforting embrace of your bed, waiting patiently while Sleep took your hand to lead you to your next dream.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

The enveloped crinkled under your tight grip as you watched Leon tie the laces on his shoes and throw on his jacket. You'd hung out today, the usual shenanigans.

A movie and some dinner, and, of course, laughing til your belly hurt. You prayed that he didn't notice that you were stiff as a board and sweating buckets.

You wouldn't be surprised if little salt crystals had formed on your brow.

"Alright, I'm off. I'll see you on Tuesday, yeah?" Leon spoke with a smile, closing in to pull you into a hug.

Your eyes widened and you kept your arms and the letter close to your body, resulting in a hug of such awkwardness you would've liked the earth to crack open and swallow you whole.

Leon quirked a brow at you.

"Are you feeling okay? You've been... odd."

A nervous and obnoxious giggled ripped from your throat before you could stop it.

"Who, me? Oh yeah, no, don't worry about me. I'm great. Awesome. Just peachy." You smiled, although it was so unconvincing you cringed at yourself.

He eyed you suspiciously but decided not to question it any further for now. You would tell him when you were ready, you always did.

You cleared your throat.

"I also have this for you. You need to read it at home, though. Anyway, bye!" You said cheerily, shoving the envelope into his hands and pushing him out into the hallway.

"Hey, what are you-"

he couldn't finish the sentence before the door was slammed shut and he was left dumbfounded outside your apartment.

Leon scoffed and turned the letter over in his hands but decided to follow your words and stored the envelope in his pocket.

"Weirdo." He mumbled with a smile and a huff.

You were pressed against the door, watching him through the peephole.

Leon stared directly into your eye and stepped closer.

"I know you're watching." He whispered, his close proximity giving you a hilarious angle of his face.

"Am not!"

Echoed from your side, and he laughed, shaking his head.

"See you." He waved, walking towards the stairs.

When you could no longer see him you let out a huff. Now, all you needed to do was wait and hope for the best.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

The jingle of keys echoed through Leon's home as he shut the door behind him.

His keys were returned to their place in a small bowl, and he proceeded to shrug off his shoes and jacket.

With a sigh, he plopped down on his couch, his feet propped up on the nearby coffee table with your letter in his hands.

He carefully opened the envelope, wincing when he heard the paper tear. He unfolded the paper and froze for a moment as he gazed upon the many symbols.

A small chuckle escaped him.

Of course you wouldn't make it easy on him. However, Leon Scott Kennedy was never one to back down from a challenge.

He began to decipher the language, writing down the message on a different piece of paper.

With a triumphant smile, he added the last few words.

"I've bested you once again." He murmured, looking at the finished letter.

But when he began to read it, now actually understanding its meaning, the smile melted off his face.

He was in shock, his eyes wide and lips parted as he read word for word how much you adored him. Leon's throat felt dry and his heart was beating out of his chest at your confession.

He couldn't believe it. You felt the same? You felt the torturing urge to shower him with your love only to hold back in fear of getting burned?

With the letter clutched close to his chest, he stumbled back into his shoes and rushed out the door.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

Frantic and hurried knocks on wood snapped you out of your head as you were curled up on your couch, stewing in regret and doubt.

A look through the peephole showed a panting Leon with a flushed face and a kind of desperation in his eyes that you had never seen before.

"Leon? What happened? Are you okay-" You asked, worried, when you opened the door, only to be cut off by him crashing into you and connecting your lips in a fierce kiss.

Any surprise and shock was swallowed by his eager mouth as he wound his arms tightly around your middle and pulled you close to his chest. A fire lit in your heart, a blazing flame that you knew would never be able to be doused.

You let yourself melt into his embrace as you reveled in the feeling of your lips on his. He pulled away, gulping deep breaths while he stared at you with glazed eyes.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, but I couldn't get myself to say the words. I don't know what it is, but you keep me tongue tied, I-" You rambled breathlessly.

He shushed you with a soft peck and cupped your face.

"I love you too." He whispered with a loving smile, making an equally as adoring smile break onto your face.

You pulled him into another kiss, giggling against his lips.

All you've ever wanted was yours.

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

I hope you enjoyed 😚

More of Leon and others -> 💫

《Leon taglist》: @k-fallingstar @vampkennedy @dmitriene @allysunny @entr4p3 @leonslittlekennedy @angelstargel

Lmk if you like to be added/removed 🩷✨️

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[andbreakmynose]

he won't go away

he's haunting you. am al.

WARNINGS: p-in-v, he's possessive and a bit mean, feelings, references to drugs/drinking, technically cheating but not really

WORD COUNT: 4.2k

Being a young woman in the 21st century had to be torture. You thought the breakup would be the hardest part; moving all your stuff out of the shared apartment was incredibly sad; sometimes you still got sad when you saw his shirts in your closet. But it turns out the hardest part is actually trying to get back out there. The apps of hell.

It was practically impossible to find someone who matched your standards. Alex, your ex, was so perfect in (almost) every way that everyone else paled in comparison. Seriously, how were you supposed to fall back in love when your last boyfriend was a global phenomenon rockstar?

He was almost everywhere you looked, practically inescapable. Every shop you went into was selling his newest record or playing one of their songs. His face was in every magazine at every store. The month you spent traveling in the states didn’t even help; Arctic Monkeys had finally crossed over, and he was big there too.

The worst part of it was that even when you scrolled Tinder to move on, you’d see him. Someone would have them as his favorite band; they’d have a lyric in their bio; they’d be wearing merchandise; or you’d check their Instagram to see concert photos. It was a frustrating cycle of constant reminders that he didn’t want you anymore.

That’s what he said—that he couldn’t stand to be in a relationship with you anymore. That he was moving on to “bigger and better things,” and you weren’t a part of that. You had sensed it was coming; he had started to become cockier; he was drinking and smoking more, and you even thought he might be taking something stronger. You didn’t blame him though; he was on top of the world, and you were just his hometown girlfriend who worked a 9-5.

You didn’t mean to keep up with him, but you read the headlines: ‘Arctic Monkeys Announces Massive UK Tour’, ‘Arctic Monkeys Sells Out Madison Square Garden’, ‘Arctic Monkeys To Headline Reading and Leeds.”

Those were tolerable; you knew he’d be big. The ones that bothered you were the personal ones. ‘Alex Turner Seen Wasted After Big Night Out’, ‘Alex Turner Seen With Another Mystery Blonde’. That was frustrating. You envied him in a sense; he didn’t have to worry about seeing your name anywhere. He was able to move on as quickly as possible and never look back. He had all the money, all the girls, and everything he could ever need at his disposal.

It was obvious you had become bitter; your best friend had remarked that you ‘just hadn’t been yourself’ since the breakup and “needed to get laid soon” or you’d “become a criminal case.” Maybe she was right, and that's what put you on the apps. You wanted to find a nice, normal man, someone who wasn’t performing at the Olympics.

The guys were nice for the most part. You had seen a few cute ones and had a few good conversations. There was even a date once! He was a nice guy from the north side of town who worked at a bank. The dinner you had with him was good, but the chemistry just wasn’t there.

For every match there were at least 50 strikeouts, but you were hopeful about this current guy. His name was Rob. Rob was tall and had pretty blue eyes and worked a well-paying job in finance. He liked nature and Oasis and had two dogs. He was the type of normalcy you craved. He asked you on a date, and of course you said yes; maybe you’d finally move on.

-

The two of you decided on one of your favorite pubs on a Saturday. And when Saturday came along, you pushed your nerves to the side and tried to look as presentable as possible. You felt a bit guilty about wearing a dress that Alex bought you, but you had to wear it at some point. You cover yourself in perfume and slip on your finest lace lingerie, just for the confidence. Today is supposed to be the day you become the new you.

Rob was already there when you arrived; he wore a nice outfit and looks good, but you’re not immediately head over heels. Maybe this would take time; that was fine. He gestured to the open bar stool next to him and the pint waiting for you. You smiled and walked over to him.

“Hey! Thanks for... this.” You pointed your head towards the pint and took a seat next to him.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” he smiled at you, giving your body a once-over. “You’re even more beautiful in person.”

His compliment doesn’t fluster you as much as it should, but you still smiled and thanked him, attaching your lips to the glass and taking a drink.

The conversation was easy; he told you about what it’s like to work in finance, and you told him what it’s like in your occupation. He showed you pictures of his three dogs whose names you could not remember, and you showed him pictures from your trip to Italy last year, neglecting to add the piece of information that you went with Alex.

Things seemed to be going really well; your bar stool had ended up closer to his, and his hand brushed across your knee a few times. Maybe the night would end well and you’d get to go home with him; you hadn’t been fucked since Alex and your vibrator weren’t doing the job anymore. In fact, it was going so well that you were about to ask about a second date when his head perked up and his eyes darted to a corner.

“Holy shit! Is that the guy from Arctic Monkeys?”

Your first thought was that somehow he knew that he was fucking with you and wanted to get you upset. But then you noticed the genuine surprise and shock in his face—a lump forming in your throat. Maybe he got his people confused?

The split second glance you turned in Alex’s direction is all you needed to know it was him. He was carrying himself the same way he had been, and you could almost hear the boom of his voice from the other side of the pub. Christ. Your stomach suddenly felt like you could throw up any second.

“I think it is.” Your voice was barely above a mutter, but Rob heard it all, his face perking up even more.

“That’s so cool! I saw them last time they came here!”

You nodded and said you saw them too. You didn’t tell him that you also saw them in London and Paris and New York and Tokyo, and that he dedicated a song to you on your birthday at a show in New Jersey. It felt like years of memories were flooding back, but you just had to repress that.

It seemed that Rob wasn’t that big of a fan because he quickly diverted his attention back to you and started talking about some hike he took a few months ago. You’re sure it was lovely, but your mind couldn’t really focus on anything but the man who hadn’t even noticed your presence. You kept nodding and attached your lips to your drink.

After a bit of one-sided conversation, Rob patted you on the back and excused himself to the restroom. He leaves you alone. Alone with Alex, only half a room away. You ordered a second drink to try and distract yourself, but that’s no help.

You swear you hear your name come from his lips, echoing in your eyes in an almost painful way. It’s just a hallucination; you’re just remembering stuff. That’s what you tell yourself.

“Her? Yeah, she was my bitch ex. Too uptight for me, if you know what I mean.” His voice booms through the room, like he’s purposely saying it as loud as possible because he knows you’ll hear. Fuck.

You couldn’t help it; you had to check. When you turn your head to the side to see him again, his dark eyes are staring right into you, that cocky smirk he adopted in the last months of your relationship present on his face. He caught you.

You didn’t recognize the guys he was with; they were probably figures from his new life. You also didn’t recognize the blonde girl he conveniently had his hand on the ass of. You couldn’t tell rather to be flustered or pissed that his attention was on you and not whoever she was. He still stared directly into your soul; something between anxiety and sorrow filled you up.

Rob returned after a minute, snapping you out of your trance and pulling your attention back onto him. Right, your date. You smiled and tried to focus on his face—his face that was nowhere near as attractive as Alex’s.

“So, what was it you were saying about hiking in Ireland?” It was a copout, but it was safe; he was more than happy to talk about himself. He went on and on about the cows and the grass and his sister Emily.

Every few minutes you’d hear Alex say something else. Something about the ‘pretty lady standing next to him’ or the ‘total fucking bender’ he went on last week. Was he trying to rile you up? Get a reaction? Well yeah, it worked. You could feel your blood start to boil while you drank more and more.

That caught up; after maybe your third drink you had to pee, really bad. You stood up and apologized to Rob before excusing yourself in the ladies room. Your head was starting to spin, and it would be lying to say you weren’t overwhelmed. You did your business and took a second to breathe.

You opened the door to head back to your date that was going very well. Thank you. The door creaked open and then shut just as instantly, your back against the door and your body back in the bathroom. Him.

He wasn’t a big man by any means, but his presence took up the entire room; it made you feel small. Alex was staring down at you, and it was hard to tell if he was really bored or really turned on.

“We need to talk.” Is all that he uttered? His voice was surprisingly monotone for him.

“In the ladies room at a pub?”

He nods.

“I have a date. He’ll get worried.” You crossed your arms, trying to hold your ground even though all you wanted to do was fold.

“Yeah. That’s why we need to talk.” He backed away from the door and leaned against the wall, very obviously checking himself out in the mirror. He ran a hand through his quiff and turned back to you with a scoff. “I don’t like him. He’s a twat.”

You scoff back, “Yeah? Well, last time I checked, you didn’t like me either.” Alex winces at this.

“I never said that,” he corrected you, his face slightly less smug. “I said I wanted to explore. Try new things. Spend the rest of my tour living like a real rockstar.” He pauses for dramatic effect, staring you up and down. “But I’m over that, baby; I want you back. I want to be us again. Please.”

You couldn’t tell if he was drunk or not; he probably was. He was probably drunk and didn’t know what he was saying. But goddamnit, these last months of pain came back, and you couldn’t help but feel for him. You wanted him back too.

“What about your new life? The fucking benders. All your new friends out there... the new girl you were fondling earlier.” You needed to stay strong; you couldn’t cave like that. You made sure that all your mockery and frustration with him for the last months came out in your voice.

He sighed again, his hand returning to his quiff. You couldn’t tell if he was that obsessed with himself that he wanted to perfect it constantly or if it was a nervous habit.

“What about your new life? Chad from finance is telling you about the stock market and his university days.”

“Rob, actually. And he’s very nice. Nicer than you’ve been this past year.” An eye roll.

Alex guffawed at this, nodding his head in a way that reminded you of a movie greaser.

“And yet you still want me more than him, don’t you? You want me again just as bad as I want you.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong. Maybe it was the alcohol, but yeah, you were getting hot and bothered. The rockstar act was obnoxious, but it was also sexy as hell.

“I can’t just leave. Rob’s a nice guy; I don’t want to destroy him.” Even if you were about to throw yourself at your ex, you still had enough morals to think about Rob.

Alex hummed and thought for a second; he wasn’t going to let you just run away from him. He needed you to come back home.

“Go up to him and say ya got your period or something. You need to go home and take care of it. You’re a smart girl; figure it out.” Condescension laced his voice. He brought his hand up and ran it across your arm just to watch the goosebumps it elicited. “See, you want this. Come home with me.”

You couldn’t fight it anymore and nodded. You were weak for him; he was your weakness. He was perfect, and you couldn’t go without feeling him again.

“I’ll meet you out front,” the smirk reappeared on his face, and he gently guided you out of the bathroom with his hand on your ass. He went right towards the exit and left you to go right towards Rob.

“Hey Rob. I’m sorry it took me forever. I have some lady problems going on, and I need to run home and grab a pad. I’ll text you about a second date, yeah?” You smiled at him but gave him no time to respond before you were out the front door and Alex was wrapping his big hands around your back. You had a long night ahead.

He kept his hand on your shoulder the entire way home; no words fell from his mouth. There was this feeling he was giving you, like he was disappointed beyond words even though he was the one that ended things.

The drive to his place was painstakingly familiar. You had done this very same trip back and forth more times than you could count. One of your first dates had been him taking you here and then kissing you while the band played a Stone Roses song; maybe you had fucked with fate by returning to the same location.

You felt a sharp pain searing through your heart when you saw the brick exterior of his flat. That was your home. Your home for two years that you had been shut out of only within the last 5 months. And you were back.

He made a whistling noise followed by a click, as if you were a dog. You’re embarrassed in the way you immediately folded, hopping out of the car and walking up the familiar stairs to the front door. His keys opened it up, and you took a step inside, the sight of it all flooding your senses.

The flat was redecorated, but it was still yours; there was your old sofa in the corner, the painting you bought with him at the market, and his collection of leather boots sat at the door. The smell was also different; it was no longer you and Alex. It was just Alex. Musky cologne and cigarette smoke replaced what was once the smell of your baking and your combined scents.

Alex watched you take in the sight; a humorless chuckle left his lips. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel the same pain; he missed you more than he wanted to admit. His eyes flicked back over to your body, scanning you in. Fuck, that dress.

“Why are you wearing my dress?” It was basically a bark, an accusation. All pain he felt was met with anger. You were wearing something he bought you to see another man.

“It’s not your dress. It’s mine.” Playing dumb never worked with Alex, so you were unsure why you did it. Maybe it was a defense mechanism that led to your relationship's downfall.

“Don’t be a bitch. I bought that dress with my money for my eyes to see you in it. It’s my dress.” His voice was harsher now; the frustration of months without you and the alcohol clouded his head.

“I thought it made me look pretty. And until an hour ago, you wanted nothing to do with me. I figured game was game.” There’s a truth to your words, but it still elicited a deep scoff from the back of his throat. He took a step towards you.

“Does make you look pretty. You’ve always been the prettiest baby.” You started to take this as him softening in a way; he was complimenting you instead of getting mad again. But then he took another step forward and, in one swift motion, pulled the dress over the top of your head, leaving you exposed in your lace bra and panty set. A deep blush covered your face, and a groan left his mouth.

“Fuck. You’re killing me, baby.” His hands started to travel up and down your body, making your body shiver when he ran by your chest and hips. “You expected him to take you back home? You wanted him to fuck you and make you forget all about me?”

“I tried,” but before you could even begin to explain the complexity of emotions running through your brain, he threw you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. It was simultaneously the most degrading, humiliating, and hot thing you’d ever experienced.

He brought you over to the bed, your old shared bed, and threw you down on it, looking down at you with lust-blown eyes.

“I tried. I really tried. But I just can’t fucking get over you. Been looking for you everywhere, hoping to make you mine again.” The confession made your heart stop, but not for long until his hands started to remove your bra. All the heat and tension of the moment made your panties start to feel wetter, and your nipples perked up. Alex licked his lips.

“You were looking for me?” You tried to manage your cool and not give in too easily. You hadn’t been fucked in so long, but he was supposed to be your ex; he kicked you out, and now he’s begging for you back.

“You were looking for me too. Don’t lie.” He said it like he knew it was a truth, even if you hadn’t admitted it yet. His hands slipped off your underwear and slipped it in his pocket. “You’re not wearing these for someone else again.”

After seeing how you bit your lip to hide a moan, he smirked and ran two long fingers through your folds. Nothing could compare to his touch; you had tried so many different vibrators, and yet you hadn’t felt pleasure like this since the last time he touched you. A small whimper escaped your lips, and thats when he knew he won. You were his again.

He started to circle his fingers around your entrance, brushing against your clit a few times before entering you. The first moan of the night escaped your lips, and he gave a knowing nod and chuckle. His free hand worked to dispose of his leather jacket and then started to work at the buttons of his shirt.

“I’ll fuck you if you say you’re mine again. If you promise to come back to me. Be my baby again. Me and you.” He rasped, voice pooling with desire, dominance, and genuine affection. It was an odd combination, but so was Alex. It all made you miss him more. He bent his fingers inside of you and started to move them faster.

“SHIT! Yeah. Yeah. I’ll be yours again. Please Alex.” You felt pathetic at how easy you gave in, but the sight of the bulge pressing against his jeans was enough to show that you weren’t the only one desperate. And it was nice to know he wanted you back for more than just a fuck.

“Atta girl.” He smirked and then removed his hand from inside of you, bringing it to his lips to taste the distinct and vaguely sour-sweet juices from you. The sight was pornographic, and while you whined at the lack of contact, you moaned at the sight. “Missed your taste,” he added before he used his hands to slip his jeans and boxers off in one solid motion.

And there you were, back to old times. Two naked figures in a shared bedroom. Most of your nights pre-breakup were spent fucking until you both passed out. You were sure tonight would be no different.

He pushed you back on the bed slightly, angling his own body so his throbbing would line up with your leaking cunt. The sight made you salivate; he was big, and the head was turning red in desperation. It was like his cock missed you just as much as the rest of him.

He leaned down to meet your lips in a searing kiss, not even bothering to ask you for permission to slip his tongue in your mouth. He let this dance go on for a bit, the kiss becoming sloppier and teeth starting to collide. He let you get totally preoccupied in the kiss before he shoved himself inside of you with no real warning, his entire length puncturing your hole.

You were definitely tighter than last time you two fucked, the result of the absence of him. He smiled at that; it felt better than it ever had, and it was a confirmation you were really holding yourself back for him.

“Tight baby. Thank you for not sharing my pussy with everyone else.” He chuckled a bit at his own words, as if they were funny, before he decided you had had enough time to adjust to his stretch and began to move.

Just as he did, the moans began to fall from your mouth, the pleasure beginning to build up in ways you forgot were possible. Every movement stretched your tight warmth out more and more, filling you up with such deliciousness that you couldn’t help but cry a stream of ‘Alex!”.

His breath started to become a bit shallower, and he reached out to palm at your tits while he thrust. It was like a teenager seeing them for the first time, but he had missed them so much. His fingers pinched at your nipples, his cock hit every nerve entrance in your vagina, and his mouth returned to yours to envelope you in a passionate fire. Every part of you felt hot, and every part of him felt hot. Just how it was supposed to be.

A pace was set after a minute; he was fast and hard because he needed this and he knew you did too. You knew he wouldn’t last too long out of the sheer intensity and desperation of it all.

As his grunts became louder and his movements faster, you brought your hand down to circle around your clit, the little movements causing a full-body shiver to run down and a stream of obscenities leaving your mouth. He grinned at this but didn’t move your hand; he’d usually help you out, but he was too preoccupied with your perfect tits. Every sense of yours was activated, and on full sensitivity, it was just too hot. Your vibrators couldn’t compare to him, and he realized then that your pussy had ruined every other girl for him. He spent months seeking pleasure, but you’re the only one he wanted.

It was the hottest feeling in the world when you felt his dick begin to twitch inside of you; the addition of this made everything just the hotter. You sped your hand movements up and your back arched slightly, your mouth falling open and your eyes turning white. You two were both close.

It was a sudden snap of the coil inside your stomach that had you cumming, practically exploding in bliss. It was an orgasm to an extreme you hadn’t had in a while, maybe since even before the breakup.

The feeling of you cumming just turned Alex on more, and he was soon to follow after, making one final thrust before he pulled out and covered your stomach in warm lines of milky cum. He stared at it for a second, finding it the most beautiful sight in the world, before collapsing next to you, catching his breath.

The two of you layed like that for a while, chests returning to normal speeds and minds trying to process what just happened. His cum was still on your stomach, but all you could think about was how you had just crossed a line you were never supposed to cross with an ex. As if he could sense this, he lifted his head up and wiped the cum off your stomach with his shirt from the floor. It was laundry day tomorrow anyway.

“That was... incredible. I missed you, baby.” He said, and his voice returned to a softness you only remembered from your most intimate moments.

“I missed you too.” You giggled a bit at his choice of cleaning material but smiled at his words, moving your body a little closer to his when he laid down again.

“Good. I want you to be my girl again.

“I want to be your girl again. We’ll figure this out in the morning, I guess.” You were both too fucked out to make logical, rational decisions.

“Yeah. We’ll get through this. I won’t be a twat again. I promise.” And then he pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead, almost like a silent promise that he wouldn’t. At the moment you trusted him, but maybe it was just the sex lingering in your brain. At that moment, what you knew was that the man you had loved for years was back next to you, and Rob from finance was someone you’d never have to worry about again.

A/N: this is shit again but i felt like putting something out. currently in the process of applying to transfer universities so i'm pretty out of time.

[weirdsht]

My Beautiful Stranger, My Soulmate - Cale/Fem! Reader

notes: for some reason i have a thing for continued love, maybe the reason why i'm single is because my soulmate is in another timeline/dimension /hj ... anyways this was the fic that i've wanted to write for the longest time but had no time for hehe

tags: female reader, novel spoilers (KRS' past and some war stuff), angst? not sure, continued love-esc, told in Cale's pov, one-sided admiration, strangers, Cale is whipped, mentions of abuse

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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Everyone wants to have something constant in their life. Something that would keep them grounded. Something that would give them a sense of normalcy when everything else feels crazy. 

For most, a person will be their constant and their pillar. Choosing a loved one in their life that supports and cares for them. Just someone they can go through during the tough times in their life.

Kim Rok Soo’s case is the same… for the most part, that is.

The difference that sets him apart from the average person is the fact that his constant person is a stranger.

He knows what she looks like. Knows her mannerisms. Has seen her for almost his entire life.

Yet he doesn’t know her name. Doesn’t know what her speaking voice sounds like. Has never had a personal interaction with her. 

Is this considered to be a type of parasocial relationship? Maybe, but Rok Soo can’t be bothered to find out.

Kim Rok Soo’s first interaction with his constant was when he was a child. During the short while of his life where he was happy, complete. When his loving parents are still alive. That was the first time he saw her.

It was during daycare. The daycare is separated into morning and afternoon sessions. His parents had enrolled him for the morning sessions.

At first, he didn’t want to go. Even as a kid he had preferred the peace his house could offer compared to socializing with the outside world. But alas, it wasn’t like he had a choice, his parents had already enrolled him so he had to go. Plus either way, he has to attend school sooner or later.

That’s why he goes, albeit reluctantly. He participates in whatever antics the teachers/caretaker does even when all he wants to do is go back home. For him, daycare was extremely tiring.

However, all that tiredness was wiped away when dismissal arrived. And no, it wasn’t just because he was excited to see his parents and go back home.

It was actually because of the girl he saw. She was a cute kid, wearing a cute dress with her hair tied in those typical twin-tailed hairstyles girls her age would have. Rok Soo didn’t see her in daycare so she must be part of the afternoon session.

Since then, he looked forward to attending daycare just to catch a glimpse of her during dismissal.

Unfortunately, Kim Rok Soo’s life took a turn for the worse at such a young age. Tragedy had befallen upon him. His parents died and his uncle is a piece of shit that hits children. It was no surprise that he had forgotten about that pretty girl in daycare.

The universe seems to not want him to forget though.

Because then why else would he see her again in the playground he runs to whenever his uncle's house is too much? Why else she be there when they were far from the town where Rok Soo attended daycare?

‘It must be fate’

That’s what little Rok Soo thinks to himself as he watches her and her friends play on the monkey bars. He just watches them from inside the castle fortress thing that no one ever uses. The sand underneath him served as his cushion.

Sometimes he wants to join, he wants to befriend her too. But he isn’t really one for moving around, for playing such physically tiring games. Even if he was, his injuries from his beatings are stopping him from doing so. Hence why he was content with playing with the sand beneath his feet while watching her laugh as she tried to not get caught by her friend during a round of tag.

Despite what Rok Soo says, his constant isn’t as steady in his life as he wants her to be. There are long periods of his life where he wouldn’t see her.

Which was why he was internally overjoyed when he saw her not only taking the same bus as him but also going to the same library. They seem to have the same schedule, and the same free time allocated for reading books in the library. The library and the novels they held were already Rok Soo’s safe space, his constant’s presence only made it more heavenly.

Kim Rok Soo knows that his constant doesn’t know who he is. Even if he remembers seeing her almost every day, in her perspective he was just a random, faceless stranger.

However, sometimes there are incidents where he would think otherwise. Is he being delusional? Absolutely, but who would call him out? The voices in his head? His already used to blocking them out.

One incident was after the day she didn’t go to the library. Rok Soo was a bit concerned as this was the first time she skipped her usual library session. The next day after that, someone had left a canned drink on his desk. It’s the drink she usually buys from the vending machine. As a matter of fact, Rok Soo had never seen anyone else pick that drink except for her.

So sue him for being delusional, but that was definitely from his constant.

When the cataclysm started, Kim Rok Soo was sure he would never see her again.

But the universe had other plans.

No matter what happens, fate seems to be pulling them together. Intertwining their destinies.

Kim Rok Soo should be happy and should be overjoyed that he gets to see her.

However, he isn’t.

In fact, he wished he hadn’t seen her.

For maybe then he could’ve lived in ignorant bliss.

“Hurry and go! I’ll hold things down over here!”

Rok Soo’s constant commanded firmly. This is the first time he has heard her speak, and god does she sound heavenly. However, this isn’t the time for this. The eclipse is still happening, barrage after barrage of monsters is still coming after every shelter.

Still, he can’t help but admire her for a second. She’s so strong, so cool, so put together.

He just wishes she hadn’t been so selfless.

The skinny man couldn’t help but hold onto the hem of his clothes. Staring at her as if begging her to come with him using his eyes.

“I’ll be fine. You should go first, I’ll follow soon.”

Lies

Kim Rok Soo knows that she won’t be following them anytime soon. He is well-aware of the fact that after this the next time he would be reunited with her is in the afterlife.

That’s why he tries to convince her even though he knows he will ultimately fail.

Years passed after that and Kim Rok Soo never saw his constant again. How could he when she passed away? When she sacrificed herself for his sake and others.

Despite the accumulation of the time and people Rok Soo met, he never forgot her. He could never forget her. Sometimes he would just sit in silence, remembering how her voice sounded. Relishing the first and last words she spoke to him.

This did not change even after he became a team leader. As a matter of fact, the only change is that now he’s mourning for three people, instead of one.

His longing for her was strong. It did not disappear even after becoming Cale Henituse. He would still think of her despite turning over a new leaf, literally turning over a new life.

Cale longs to hold her again. This time not just the hem of her clothing but her hand. He wishes to have a proper conversation with her. Longs to ask her why she likes that canned drink that no one else drinks so much.

He longs to get to know her outside of the things he has observed. Wants to be the cause of her smile, and not merely watch others do it in his stead.

But alas, he couldn’t.

For not only is she dead, but his in another world.

Or at least that’s what he thought until he saw a familiar face standing up for him during the noble's meeting.

“Personally, I think we should just be grateful to Commander Cale Henituse. If it weren’t for him and his people then our kingdom would be in graver danger that we would not even be able to conduct such a meeting.”

She looked exactly how Cale remembered her. Her voice still has that same firmness in it, telling everyone in the room how she also wields power despite being younger than all of them.

“That’s correct young master. However, there are still some things that should be addressed. Such as that necromancer–”

“She has a name, it’s Mary. And she’s not a mere necromancer, she’s a revered hero of our kingdom. One of the people who had defended our kingdom from the Indomitable Alliance.”

Cale didn’t know he could fall deeper after all these years, but he just did.

“Due all respect my lady, but you are still young. I think your emotions are getting the best of you. Mind you that you are not even the heir of your household.”

The ugly noble tried to retaliate to which Cale’s constant only raised her eyebrows at.

“Oh my, how disgraceful… A noble pulling the age card just because his nearing his expiry age. Now forgive my disrespect, but you started it first… How dare you look down on me, the top 1% contributor to this Kingdom’s economy? I have built a name for myself outside of my family’s influence while all you have is your family’s standing. And emotional? Really? Of course, I’m emotional, the lives of our citizens are at stake and all you mongrels seem to care more about powerplay like the hungry bastards you all are. Is it because you’re not on the front lines? Is it because you think you can do what Commander Cale Henituse did? Then I dare you to do so at this very moment. Go to the frontlines and defend this kingdom you all claim to love very much!”

A deafening silence followed the young woman’s speech. Even Alberu had to take a double take. Everyone is tense, they don’t know what to say. Can’t refute what she said.

“I’m sorry for my outburst, Your Highness, Commander Cale. I simply cannot tolerate such disrespect when you are pulling most of the weight during these trying times. Please, let us proceed with our original agenda.”

Her poise never left her, even as she tore down every noble inside the room. Contrarily, the more she speaks, the more it looks as though she also possesses Dominating Aura.

At her insistence, the meeting got back on track. Most of the nobles were already silenced because of her, Alberu and Cale only had to deliver the finishing blow before wrapping everything up.

Once everything was done and settled Cale made plans to talk to his constant. Get to know her name, and finally interact with her. He knows that in her eyes his just a stranger. Someone who has no personal connections with her. But that doesn’t stop the redhead. He can always start forging their connection right here, right now.

He’ll do anything to not let her slip from his grasp once again.

And so the commander slithers his way towards where she is. He already had it all planned out; he’ll start the conversation by thanking her for standing up in Mary’s defence before asking for her name, and then he’ll let things flow naturally from there.

Despite running the simulations in his head, the only thing he could do once he was face to face with her was standing there. Face marred with shock and mouth unable to form words?

The cause?

Oh nothing much, it’s just because of her greeting.

“It’s nice to finally meet my beautiful stranger from Earth whose name I still don’t know. I’m [Name] [Lastname], may I know Commander Cale Henituse’s Earth name?”

[stinkysam]

Monkey D. Luffy - Cook.

Warning : nsfw, top!reader

Genre : smut

Synopsis : "Luffy x Dom Male Reader smut. Sanji don’t like the reader and Luffy get on Sanji case taking up for reader even tho reader can beat Sanji up then luffy and reader have smutty time!" - @kai-wifey

Reader : male (you/yours)

-cis women dni-

Luffy found you and Sanji's constant arguing funny until he heard how serious that was.

You used to work at the Baratie too, and like Sanji you liked to cook special dishes. Making them look better than they're supposed. Making fine looking plates. You liked Sanji because you understood each other.

Until the day Zeff got fed up of your special cooking. While he couldn't fire Sanji due to his ties with him, he could put him as a waiter for some time. But with you it was different. He could fire you, and he did.

Since that day, you held a grudge against Sanji, who should've been fired with you.

You knew it wasn't his fault, but you couldn't help it, it annoyed you, he should've stood up for you.

Luffy tried to get in between you two, to calm you down, not wanting you to actually hurt each other as you were about to.

"[Name], Sanji, calm down." He shrugged, a hand on yours and Sanji's chest. "You can start over."

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms as Sanji took a step back, looking away, both of you visibly annoyed.

"Then ask him why he didn't stand up for me ?"

Sanji said nothing, avoiding eye contact.

"I said enough." Said Luffy, a bit louder this time. "You should've stood up for your friend." He said to Sanji. "And you should drop it." He said to you. "You're not at Baratie anymore. No one will get fired for their cooking or plate dressing." He was looking at the both of you.

You huffed, looking away before walking out of the room. Luffy quickly followed you.

"[Name] ?"

"What."

"Do you really not like Sanji ?"

"All I know is that he should've been fired with me."

"Yeah but do you hate him ?"

"A bit. Why did you chose him ?"

"Because he fed us."

You sighed. Right.

"Wanna fuck ?" You suddenly ask and he looks at you, confused. "I've got a lot of pent up energy now and I don't know what to do with it, so let's fuck."

"Okay." He grinned.

You pushed Luffy in the bedroom as he giggled before climbing on the hammock, waiting for you expectantly.

But you didn't climb in it, instead you placed yourself between his legs and kissed him, your hands traveling his body as a chill ran down his spine.

You moved one hand down his pants, caressing his soft cock. You continued stroking him until he grew hard, whining for you to remove his pants, feeling too tight around him.

You tugged on them, helping him remove them and pushed him slightly on his back, holding himself in balance on the hammock. You still jerked him as your thumb prodded at his asshole, teasing him.

"Come on… [Name]."

Luffy tried to hump your finger in hope you'd push it in, and you did, slowly inserting your thumb inside him. He grimaced before smiling, quickly adjusting to your finger.

"Ah… fuck…"

You pushed it in and out, watching his hole swallow your thumb entirely as you spat on it so it would be easier to move. You stopped jerking him to caress his thighs, giving him a good slap, making him yelp before rubbing them, soothing the area.

You slapped them again and he hissed, head hanging back.

"[Naaame]." He whined.

His dick was already drooling, beads of precum rolling down his cock. You stroked him again, spreading it on his hard member as he moaned your name quietly.

Yours was throbbing in your pants, wanting only one thing, to stuff him full. So you removed them, freeing your hard cock and you took your thumb out of him before pushing your dick in.

You watched as his ass slowly engulfed you, taking you in inch by inch. Luffy was watching too with a grimace, not liking how slow you were going.

It made you smile before slapping the rest of your dick inside him, making him gasp and moan loudly.

Once fully inside you wasted no time, fucking him with the help of the hammock, using it like a swing. Watching him bounce on your cock as moans and whines left his lips.

"Right there ! Right there ! Right there ! Oh !" He closed his eyes as you hit his prostate repeatedly, wrapping his legs around you to keep you close.

But you stopped him, pushing his legs open as you continued your pounding inside his snug ass. It felt perfect.

You grabbed his face, pulling him closer as you continued your fucking.

"I don't need you… to interfere between me and Sanji." You say, hoping he's hearing you through his moans.

"It's my duty as a- as a captain- ah ! To make sure- everyone gets along ! Ngh-" He said and you chuckled. Fuck, he was kinda right.

"Can't argue with that."

"Eheh. Ah." He managed to smile and laugh through your thrusts, holding his hat against his head, proud of himself.

You quickened your pace, feeling your climax nearing. Luffy was close too, precum pooling on his stomach. You grabbed his dick, jerking him again.

You both came soon after, panting and sighing as you shot your seed inside him and Luffy on his chest and your hand.

You rested like this for a moment, catching your breath and you pulled out, drawing one last whine out of him.

He grinned again, straightening up, fingers playing a bit with the cum on his stomach before bringing it to his lips to taste himself.

[ryiju-muunie]

[I] Know it's for the better

Usopp/transfem!Sanji Vinsmoke & Luffy D. Monkey/Zoro Roronoa Warnings: college/university AU, POV Usopp, Nami-Usopp friendship, mutual pining, friends to lovers, fluff and humor, tooth-rotting fluff, light angst, misunderstanding, cuddling, slow dancing, applying lipstick, cheesy romance, ambiguously early 2000s Word count: 18816 DESC: Ever since high school, Sanji and Usopp were the best of friends. Two social outcasts with nothing better to do than talk to each other. But now, he hadn’t thought about his old friend in almost three years, opting to live his life in the present rather than focus on the past. Who needed that jerk who ghosted him anyways? Not him! He was happier now! That was until he got a message on Facebook. //// Usopp mistakens his very intense feelings as misogyny.

Two uploads in one night whaaat

NOTES: I want to thank @pyr0frnzy for helping me with some plot ideas as the god of Sanuso and putting up with my constant DMing for how I could improve scenes! None of this would've been possible if you and I didn't bounce back and forth between different ideas! I've had this idea in my head for so long and it turned into something more meaningful than I could've ever expected. It's so much more heartfelt about love than it was originally going to be. More Rom than Com. And yes, Sanji might be OOC, you'll have to tell me. I'm not too good at writing him as a character, but I really wanted to give it a try in this kind of au. So let me know [politely I will cry] if I can improve! Thank you to Sailor Song by Gigi Perez for being the only thing I listened to, to write the latter half of this story. Especially since my mom texted me to change it because it's been days.

-

They were inseparable. Ever since high school, Sanji and Usopp were the best of friends. Maybe it was because they were opposites who attracted one another, or maybe it was because they were both a bit socially awkward. Two social outcasts with nothing better to do than talk to each other. To anyone else it could have seemed sad or pathetic but having each other was enough. Someone to lean on who understood you. So, when Sanji had decided to leave the country for college, it was devastating. He had told his friend of his plans to become a culinary chef and make a name for himself. He had said how he’d never leave, but instead improve his own community with his food. So, it was a surprise to the brunette when he found out that his best friend would leave, especially to a place with such … little technology.  

Of course, he had assumed it had to be him. Did he stink? Did he smell so bad his friend had to leave across the globe? Oh, maybe he did something so embarrassingly stupid he blacked out! And now the blonde was leaving him because of it! Of course, Usopp knew that it couldn’t be that [he never blacked out]. So, it had to be something else he did. Was he too touchy? Or too honest? He knew that all those late-night talks about their feelings would eventually bite him in the ass! 

Whatever the case was, he bit back his protests in favor of his best friend. When they said goodbye, that was that for three years. Three years had passed, and the brunette had grown. It was apparent from his constant habit to Facebook his whole life, or the fact he started working out as a nervous habit. The once scrawny guy who used to be too scared to even stand up for himself was now … well, still scared to stand up for himself- but he was more built now!  

Sanji wasn’t on his mind anymore. The first few months he tried to Facebook messenger his friend, but the messages would never go through. That, or he was being ghosted. Either way, he had to give up at some point, right, and move on! So maybe that’s why he started working out. Every time his mind would wander to his almost infatuation with his friend, he picked up a weight and crunched until he couldn’t think anymore. Was infatuation the right word? More like, constant-need-to-be-around-him-and-touch-him-and-breathe-in-his-scent-itous! And that was totally normal. Best friends always touched each other, like hand holding or cuddling if it got too cold at a sleepover. He couldn’t help but miss that, yet when he started to yearn- he went to do a few pull ups.  

Now Usopp was 22, almost 23, and taller than before. Maybe he grew muscles in his feet too! He’d have to Google that. He hadn’t thought about his old friend in almost three years, opting to live his life in the present rather than focus on the past. Who needed that jerk who ghosted him? Not him! He was happier now! College was about to start up again, his senior year. He had a future career planned in engineering and the student wasn’t about to let some old memories rupture his plans.  

That was until he got a message on Facebook as he was watching TV on his couch. He wasn’t too good with phones, preferring a laptop instead. But this I-Black-Moto-Whatever would work for now. The man pressed a few buttons on the keyboard and used that strange mouse thing to click into his Facebook app. He hadn’t used that app in, honestly, a few hours. Getting a message this late before school wasn’t uncommon, but it wasn’t typical. Clearly someone needed something from him, probably Zoro. Knowing him, the idiot got lost on his way back to the apartment.  

But instead, it was a blank profile he hadn’t seen active in three years, with one message queued: ‘Usopp, can we talk?’ 

His eyes widened at the sight, letting out a breath. What. Was. He. Supposed. To. Do!? Usopp hadn’t prepared for Sanji messaging him out of the blue! He wasn’t even prepared for his upcoming midterms and his semester hadn’t even started!! Instead of acting, however, he opted to set his phone down. As if it was on fire, he dropped it and covered a pillow over it, then pressed his hand to the center.  

Demon phone, being possessed by such negative energy…  

Then he heard it buzz again from under the cushion. That made the student jump and stare down at the cushion. Two messages in the span of about forty-five seconds was a record. Especially for Sanji. It had to have been important, or at the very least something. I mean, radio silence for three years then two messages back-to-back? If anything, he was kind of lucky. The blonde could have just not ever messaged him again, leaving him to wonder what if for eternity. But he did get a message. Two in fact. It would be rude at that point not to respond with something, or at least not read the other one.  

Slowly, the man pushed the pillow from his phone, letting it fall to the ground. Then he picked up the demon phone and turned it, looking at the screen. Another message had queued on the app, from the same person: ‘It’s Sanji. From High School.’ Before he could dare respond, however [or process what the hell was happening], his phone lit up. Someone was calling him. Was it him? Was it the person he swore he’d never see again if he could help it? Was it the person, though, that he deep down secretly hoped would run into him at the supermarket, so he could beg for him to be back in his life?  

Usopp wasn’t even prepared!! The man never knew what he was going to do if Sanji wanted to come back into his life. Frankly, he assumed this would never happen. He just thought they were done with. Forever. So, the fact this was happening, days before his senior year at college, was very very stressful.  

Without looking at the number or caller ID, to verify if it was the contact he never erased from his phone, he clicked the button and brought it to his ear, “...Sanji?” The brunette’s voice was timid, a soft whisper. Never did he think he was ever going to hear the other man's voice again. Or even think that they’d get to see each other. It was almost surreal, a kind of moment he wanted to photograph and save in his memories forever. It could be the beginning of something more, another chance at their friendship. Or it would tie up the loose ends of their old one, leaving them both satisfied with answers.  

“Who the hell is Sanji?”  

But no, it was Zoro.  

Usopp kind of deflated at the sound of the gruff voice on the other line, contrasting the soft voice he had grown to miss. Sanji’s voice was nice and fluttery, although he knew he could raise it to be rough if he needed too. His roommate was definitely gruff, or less emotional than he was used to. The other man was more in touch with his emotions [anxiety], whereas the moss-headed one didn’t feel nearly as many emotions [anxiety] as his roommate. 

He swallowed, “Uh TV character, whaddya want?” The man placed his phone between his shoulder and his head, adjusting his position on the couch to look at the screen ahead of him. It was some YouTube video he had found, nothing he was really interested in. YouTube was just a glorified ad filled Netflix with weird homemade videos. He’d rather watch anything else than the gardening video he ended up clicking on.  

“I got us Chinese food,” Zoro replied into the phone, shuffling a bit into the microphone before he continued, “And I ran into that chick you liked last year. She’s ugly.” From the way his voice muffled a bit, before becoming clear, his roommate could tell he was probably eating some of their dinner. Great.  

“She isn’t ugly!” Usopp retorted, looking away from the TV to find the remote to shut it off. Maybe some Criminal Minds would suffice… 

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud exhale, “You have the weirdest type in women.’

“She isn’t ugly,” he narrowed his eyes, taking a hold of the remote and clicking the television off YouTube. What a self-centered sword obsessed prick. Zoro was more focused on Luffy’s [their other roommate] muscles than actual women. He just didn’t have taste! To Usopp, all women were pretty! Even that one girl who tried to get some of his blood to sell on the dark web… To be fair he had a crush on her before he realized she was weird like that. 

“She so is,” he bit into another piece of food audibly, “I have Luffy, too.” Zoro passed the phone to the spikey haired maniac as the brunette sighed out an ‘of course you do’. 

“Heyyyy Sopp!” Luffy yelled into the phone, making his roommate pick his own device up and turn it on speaker phone, to hold it away from his ear, “We got Indian!”  

“I thought Zoro said Chinese?” He asked, a bit unsure. When it came to Zoro, though, he was used to hearing the wrong thing. Maybe he was dyslexic or had one too many boxing incidents, but he had no sense of … anything. Direction, spelling, breathing, direction, walking, anything!! He was unsure as to how the moss was able to survive that long without him in order to watch over him.  

“No, I said Indian,” Roronoa spoke into the phone, before it was pulled back to Luffy who giggled, “We got Indian.”  

As Usopp went to reply he heard another faint voice in the background, who he instantly recognized. He let out a gasp and brought the phone to his face, nose pressing against the small screen, “Put Nami on.” Nami wasn’t exactly their roommate, but she was welcome to live with them if she so chose to. She was one of his closest friends, someone who remembered their high school days with Sanji. She’d understand his anxieties and most of all she’d talk some sense into him. Knowing her, she’d tell him to respond politely instead of hiding away forever. Even though he really wanted to hide forever.  

“Usopp?” Her voice cut clearly through the microphone of his cellphone.  

“Go off speaker, I have important business to discuss,” he wasn’t wrong per se, but he didn’t want to outright say it knowing that Luffy and Zoro could hear. They’d probably laugh at him for freaking out so much! It wasn’t his fault this was basically the end of the world for him!  

The man’s friend let out a sigh and he heard a bit of shuffling before she responded, “What’s wrong now?” Of course, she knew something was wrong! It was Nami! Nami knew everything! He knew he could always count on her for advice and more so to calm his nerves. 

“Well,” Usopp hesitated a bit, his voice pitching another octave before he continued, “Sanji Facebooked me.” 

“Sanji Facebooked you?!” She repeated before the student shushed her loudly.  

“No-no! Don’t say it out loud!” He hit the phone against his head. Then he spoke in a more quiet, shaky voice, “I don’t know what to do.” 

It was silent for a moment, but he could tell she was giving him her signature look, “You’re pathetic.”  

“Hey!” He interjected as she then asked, “What did his Facebook say?” 

Oh … what did it say? Usopp had been so caught up in all the drama of it he kind of forgot what the message said. He pressed his lips together and made a small popping sound, “Um… It’s Sanji from high school…?” That was right, right? Probably.  

“And you answered right?” Nami prodded. By this point he knew his roommates were probably listening, or worse had her put him back on speaker. Cat was out of the bag, and the cat had Facebook, apparently.  

“...Was I supposed to...?” He squeaked. What did it matter if he saw the message and didn’t answer yet? It wasn’t like Sanji could see the fact he had read it without answering.  

“Did you click into the message?” Her voice was beginning to sound annoyed, as if she already knew the answer to what she just asked.  

“Yeahh,” he looked away as his phone jolted in his hand from a loud, “YOU IDIOT!” From Nami. Usopp jumped and his cellphone fumbled a bit in his hand before it landed on the floor before him, shaking as she yelled, “Facebook has read receipts now!” Read receipts? He narrowed his eyes at the phone and peered over the couch as it rumbled around.  

Then it went silent as the phone had been clearly taken from her and Zoro’s voice played through the speaker, “Your Sanji can see you saw his message without responding.” Oh! Oh. He knew? He knew Usopp read the message and seemingly ignored it? Oh god! Oh no! He didn’t mean to ignore his old best friend, more so, he was trying to figure out what to do. I mean, if he had it his way, he would ignore it. Not in a mean way, more in a cowardly way. But knowing Nami, she’d never let him live if he didn’t at least respond. Maybe she was in it more for the drama or she was trying to get him to be a better person than she clearly was.  

The brunette climbed down from the couch onto the floor, kneeling over the phone as he let out a breath, “How far are you guys?” Maybe he could wait for them to get back so he could respond with all their help, instead of being left to navigate it on his own.  

“Thirty minutes!” Luffy shouted from the far side of the phone, “We went to the Indian place across town!” Okay, so he could wait thirty minutes.  

Sanji would just have to be patient; he was patient right? But knowing Sanji he was probably concerned. He knew his old friend well enough to know that if he had read a message without responding it meant something was up, even if he didn’t intend it. That blonde always worried for him, even if he didn’t need it. That’s why they were such good friends. Usopp had someone he could lean on who had just enough emotional un-regulation to understand him and his own anxieties.  

He knew Luffy and Zoro were good friends, and they meant well, but none of them were in tune with their emotions. Nami too, she was nice but she wasn’t the emotional type. He needed someone he could cry to, and someone who would know him well enough to know exactly what to do. In some way, the man wanted to come crawling back to his old friend and pretend no time had passed. Pretend everything was okay so he could be held with comfort and fed those rice balls, those delicious rice balls. 

Usopp went to speak but his ginger friend read his mind, “You’re not waiting. Respond to him then call us back.” And the phone clicked, turning the screen off from the phone call to show his Facebook messages. Sanji’s chat was open, and ten minutes had already passed. He seemed to still be online, his profile picture just being a faceless photo of some scenery. His old friend's profile was the same, and it had been for three years. There was one post he made when he started high school of some flowers, with the caption, ‘Just planted these. Hoping they’ll grow by the time HS ends’. That was his only post. Nothing with his face now or his new place.  

He wondered, did Sanji look the same? Did the blonde grow his hair out or keep it short? Did he change his part and finally brush those strands away to show both of his eyes? Or maybe he finally shaved that annoying stubble on his chin that Usopp would always make fun of. Or he grew it out into a long beard. The man squinted his eyes at the thought, shaking his head. His friend wouldn’t do that, he wasn’t the type to like facial hair like that. And a blonde beard? That would just look strange.  

Usopp sighed and picked up his phone, drumming his thumbs against the keyboard. I mean, he could say hi to start. That wouldn’t be rude, right? It set the stage for a nice conversation! It was polite and cordial, and it said nothing about his desperation to hear his friend's voice again. So, he sent the message, ‘hi’. As he went to put his phone down, it buzzed. Oh. His eyes widened slowly at the realization Sanji had been waiting for him to respond for … ten minutes. Well, it wasn’t like he hadn’t done that before.  

Sanji’s message read, ‘Hi, Usopp. It’s Sanji. Can we talk?’ Weren’t they talking now? Or did he mean over the phone? If his friend wanted to call him all he had to do was that, just call. And if he was honest, the brunette was betting on this. He really wanted to hear that man’s voice again. How soft it was, and how calming it could be.  

So, he responded, ‘yeah let’s talk’. To which he instantly got the reply, ‘What’s your number, I got a new phone.’ Is that why they lost contact, because Sanji lost his number? I mean, that would make sense. But why for three years did he neglect to message Usopp and ask for it? Why was it now that he decided to message and break the ice? Unless something happened. Oh god, was he dying? Was his old best friend dying!? He was probably bald and sick, in the fetal position in a hospital bed!  

Usopp sent his number and set the phone down on the floor beside him. It was quiet. No calls or buzzing for a few minutes, to the point where the man had suspected Vinsmoke only wanted his number to block it. I mean, was this it? Was he never going to hear from him again? Was this a taste of something that was going to be taken even quicker than before? So, it surprised him, causing him to jump just a tad, when his ringer went off. There on the screen was an unfamiliar phone number with an even more unfamiliar area code. He did say he was going far… 

The brunette drummed his fingers against the side of his phone before clicking the answer button, turning it on speaker. God, was it always this nerve wracking to talk to him? Well, before all of this they lived practically next door to each other, in a town Usopp never left. Okay technically, he did leave- now he’s in the city over.  

“Usopp?” A light voice filled his ears from the other side of the phone. It was different from what he had remembered of Sanji’s prepubescent voice. It was airy and dainty, something that reminded him of spring, oddly enough. His voice was gorgeous, so pretty he barely even recognized it until he made a sort of strangled noise, causing his friend to laugh. There it was. The same laugh he was so used to it felt so homely to hear. A breathless laugh, the kind where you knew he’d be covering his open mouth with a lazy fist.

“Sanji,” he responded in a whisper, staring wide eyed at the screen. If only he could Skype on such a small device. That would be neat, right? “You’re real…” Usopp didn’t mean to say aloud, but he couldn’t help it. Some part of him really wished this would’ve happened sooner. Some part of him was dreaming about this day for three years. And that part of him had taken over, taking control of his mouth too.  

There was no response for a few seconds, before he heard the other say, “Of course I’m real… I can’t believe you responded to me.” He sounded shocked, as if he was in as much disbelief as the other man was. But they were both tiptoeing around the subject at hand. Why did Sanji leave him in the dark for three whole years? No messages or calls back? Why did he have to go so far away and seemingly never return until now?  

“Why did you go, Sanji?” Saying his name was foreign, but Usopp never wanted to stop. He missed how it felt on his tongue as it rolled off. He missed hearing his own name from his friend's lips, hearing how elegant it sounded compared to anyone else. That’s what he was, the blonde was elegant. In everything he did, he did it with poise and grace. God, in a way he kind of envied that. All that training in manners and etiquette from his dad really paid off, making the brunette look like a slob in comparison to the other. But he didn’t envy his friend's home life.  

What Sanji went through made sense as to why he’d want to leave. Why he’d want to abandon everything and start over in another country. Yet… he always wondered why he wasn’t asked to come with him. Why didn’t his friend think, maybe my best friend should accompany me? Wasn’t it obvious? Usopp would have followed him to the ends of the Earth if it meant they could’ve been together- platonically that is… With wives. And sex! Yeah… 

It was becoming too quiet on the other end; the student half expected the blonde had hung up on him before he heard a small sniff. Small enough for him to know that he was going to get a loaded answer for his very loaded question.  

“I’m… not the same person,” he heard a shaky voice murmur into the phone, “I was scared you wouldn’t like it…” Wouldn’t like him? Was Sanji kidding? He loved who he was, every bit of it. How could he dislike or even hate him? Even if it had been so long, he couldn’t deny the fact he could never hate his best friend. No matter how hard he tried, Usopp physically couldn’t.  

“I’m happy,” he let out a cry, “I’m finally happy,” there he heard a hiccup, “I miss my home. I’ve been away from home for so long…”  

“Home?” Usopp asked, drawing a blank as to what home his friend missed. Last he checked, he wanted to get out of that house as quickly as possible. How could he miss it? 

“Home is with the people I love,” Sanji inhaled shakily, “I want to go home. I want to,” he hiccupped and sniffed, clearly sobbing more than he had intended to, “I want to go home, Usopp. I’m me and … I want to go home…” It was heartbreaking to hear his friend fall apart, all while he could do nothing but listen. Nodding his head as if the blonde could see it and rubbing the side of the phone as if it was his back. The man didn’t entirely understand all the words his friend sobbed about being himself, but he didn’t care. If he was happy, why was he needing to understand? All he wanted was his best friend back and now he got it, he wasn’t going to lose it.  

“Come home,” he answered, determination rising in his voice, “Please.”  

-

The plan was simple: Sanji and Usopp were going to have a good old-fashioned sleepover. I mean, what's to stop two best friends from sleeping in the same bed after two years? Nothing! If it was too awkward, he’d take the couch and let his guest veg out on his twin XL. Yeah, okay, it was going to be crammed, but nothing that they couldn’t handle!  

Usopp had been counting down the days until his best friend's flight came back, as he had transferred to his college to finish up his last year, Facebooking him any chance he could get. It was truly an addiction. Talking to his friend and being able to hear his voice whenever he so chose to. All the student had to do was pick up the phone and press a few buttons to hear that laugh, that sweet laugh he could trigger with just a few stupid jokes. Now it was the day of, or well, the morning of. Of course, he couldn’t sleep. It was due to a mixture of nerves and pure excitement at the thought of seeing his best friend. Although, his anxiety was beginning to outweigh those bundling feelings of joy, ever since he got the text, ‘When we meet. I need to tell you something important.’  

Okay, so this could have meant about two things: Sanji was dying, or Sanji had a girlfriend. It was more realistic to think his best friend was dying, since he never had luck with women. So that had to be it. I mean, what other major change could he have gone through in three years that fundamentally changed him as a person? At least, that’s what he kept alluding to, that something would be completely and utterly different. It didn’t feel different when they’d sit on the phone and talk into the depths of the night, or text as if no time had passed.  

That’s what scared him.  

What if the change was something more physical that Sanji was insecure about? What if, instead of dying, he had no arms? Or… no legs! That’s ridiculous, he thought, being an aspiring cook detailed a lot of hand work, so he made sure to keep his hands out of danger. So, if he didn’t not have arms or legs … maybe he shaved his head, or did something more permanent. A few tattoos wouldn’t scare him away, or even a lot of tattoos. The thought of his friend with tattoos wasn’t bad actually. As Usopp turned onto his side, trying to sleep, he couldn’t keep that image out of his head. The man who swore he’d quit cigarettes, shirtless with different inking's littering his body- And he sat up. Maybe he should do a pull up.  

It was weird to think of Sanji shirtless! I mean, who did that? Not him. Okay well, occasionally him. It was normal to figure out how time had treated the blonde and how different he would be now. It was normal to imagine how his skin would feel underneath his own hand, tracing small circles against his arm. How soft he was… would he stay that soft? Or has he spent so much time in the sun his skin has turned tougher, like leather. Maybe he did have a few tattoos, something small. Something meaningful in a place he could show off and hide just as easily. Red, it had to be red. If Vinsmoke got anything it needed to be small and with hints of red to contrast his pale skin.  

Usopp had done about twenty pull ups at his door before his roommate had walked out of his room- huh? Zoro had come out of Luffy’s room with a different outfit than what his roommate had seen him go to sleep in. Oddly, they had been becoming so close over the last month and a half. It was strange how they’d exchange glances or longing stares. Was longing even the right word for the types of looks they’d give each other? It was more intimate than that, if that was even a thing that could be considered intimate. Romantic, if he thought too much about it.  

Zoro hadn’t noticed him yet, his back turned to his roommate who was hanging off the pull-up bar in his doorway. He was walking around as if he could trigger a landmine at any moment, making sure each step was quieter than the last to his room. Now that was strange. The guy had never cared about being loud until it was sneaking from Luffy’s room to his own. He never cared until Usopp noticed the strangest looking mark on hi… oh. Slowly, he looked away and began to pull himself back up on the bar. It wasn’t his business anyway, no matter how much the little voice in his head told him to pry. It wasn’t like he wanted to be in on the loop if his roommates were dating each other. Not like he wanted to be the first to know, or anything.  

Was he wrong for feeling bitter? They never owed him anything, but he had assumed all of them were close. He always let Luffy use his fancy coffee maker and Zoro his DVD collection. And Usopp was the one who even suggested the three of them room together, over using the dormitories. They had been in the same English class, in need of roommates. It was a shot in the dark but it paid off. At least, he had assumed. Now, was it even worth it to ask what was up? Would a, “hey I know you guys are boinging but I wanted to know first so I could’ve made you a celebratory sodomy cake” be too weird? 

The student’s thoughts were interrupted by the fifth pull-up when Zoro opened his door, jumping at the sight of him, “How… long have you been there?” His eyes were wide, staring like he had seen a ghost. Usopp blinked a few times and pulled himself higher on the bar, before slowly letting go and jumping onto the floor. He could be honest and tell the truth; say he saw the mark and the fact they were being sneaky. There wasn’t any point in lying when they were both standing and staring at each other. His roommate's face was riddled with sleep, deep in his dark features as they exchanged looks. It would have been more awkward to say nothing, right?  

He went to speak, putting his hand on his own neck, which caused Roronoa to pull at the collar of his shirt. Over the mark. Just that movement alone had spoken more words than he had intended to, speaking volumes. It said, ‘I know you guys have been sneaking around and, yeah, I saw your neck thing’. It also said, ‘I wish you guys would’ve told me instead of hiding.’ Maybe the moss saw it on the others face, from how he frowned with anxiety, or how he darted his eyes to avoid the inevitable words to come.  

“So… You know, don’t you?” Zoro looked away before continuing, “I thought you’d be, I dunno, upset.” Upset? How could he be upset if his friends were happy? Usopp was more upset over the fact he wasn’t told, but it was neither here nor there. He had things to do that day and someone more important was coming, in all honesty. So, not that it didn’t matter. But he wasn’t going to ruin his day with a soured mood. Instead, he was going to take it in stride. Which was harder for him, but for Sanji he would.  

Usopp pressed his lips together and let his shoulders shrug loosely, “Zoro, you know I’d never be upset with you for something like that. I’m just glad you’re happy.” And he meant it. Even if he wasn’t told before, he knew now. That’s all that mattered, he supposed.  

The two heard a bit of shuffling behind the green-haired one as Nami appeared, looking as if she had just woken up from the sounds of their voices. She rubbed the side of her head with a gentle palm, her ginger hair pulled back into a messy bun, “Why the hell are you guys being so loud for 10 AM?” It was 10? How long had he been doing pull-ups? He must’ve miscounted… He swore he had done just 20… 

“Usopp knows me and Luffy are…” He trailed off, which elicited an offended gasp from his roommate. 

“Oh, you told Nami but not me?” Usopp frowned and pointed a finger at him, “I live with you! All she does is leech off our takeout orders!” He wasn’t wrong, she only did come over when Zoro and Luffy were in the city for food. Or when he needed emotional support 

“So mature Mr-I’m-having-my-old-situationship-sleep-in-my-bed-after-three-years!” She retorted, “He told me because I keep my mouth shut.”  

His eyes widened, “I shut my mouth!” He does not.  

Zoro narrowed his eyes, forming a tight smile, “Remember the pineapple?” 

“Yeah, pineapple!” Nami shouted to which Luffy’s door opened and he groggily peaked out, mumbling, “Hmhmgm pine…apple?” His boyfriend beckoned the sleepy student over with one arm and let out a breath as the other slumped into his side, clearly also just waking up.  

“Don’t bring the pineapple into this,” Usopp spoke, pressing his teeth together and restraining his jaw from making them grind together. 

“You did talk for the pineapple,” Luffy mumbled, pressing his face into Zoro’s pectoral, causing his other roommate to roll his eyes.  

“I had to tell the aut- you know what I’m not arguing with you guys,” he placed his hands on either of his hips, letting his foot tap against the wood as he debated what to say. Well, today was the day. His roommates knew vaguely who Sanji was, whereas Nami had had classes with him for several years. They knew he was blonde and liked to cook and, well, that was about it. There weren’t enough words in the human language, across all languages, to describe how truly amazing he was. How utterly fantastic he was to be around, how his company was unlike anyone else's he’s ever been in. So, he instead wanted them to get to know him themselves, rather than have some expectation of him built up.  

- 

“He said he’s at terminal B, with his luggage,” Usopp said as the group headed down the airport, looking for his old friend. Luffy and Zoro had been told to look out for a relatively tall, lanky man, with blonde hair covering his left eye. Simple enough, he supposed.  

Except for the sea of people he was searching through, he couldn’t find him. Where was the man he had been waiting for, for three years to see? He was searching through the crowds, hoping to stop and make eye contact with the person he had been, well, yearning for. Yearning was a very… Well, it wasn’t the word he was looking for but it was the closest one he had! Yearning without the homosexual undertones that he didn’t have because he wasn’t gay.  

“I think we passed term B,” Luffy chimed in, walking on his roommates left.  

The man turned his head, letting his curly hair fall behind him [that he had styled back into a ponytail for this occasion], as he gaped, “What do you mean we passed it!? Sanji’s probably waiting for us!” With that he stopped and turned on his heel, pulling his small cell phone from his jacket pocket to see if there were any new messages. Of course, it had been two minutes since he sent his message so there wasn’t a new notification.  

“I think he’ll be fine waiting,” Zoro gruffed, opting to stay behind the two eager ones with Nami, who enjoyed taking her time as well. It wasn’t a big deal to them if they got to Sanji right as his plane landed, but it was a big deal to the other two. Although Luffy was more so there for the ride. 

Usopp craned his neck to send a glare his roommate's way, “We are not making him wait any longer!”  

“I think an extra few minutes wouldn’t hurt,” Nami attempted to interject but she was slowly stopped by the vicious look that her friend hurled her way. He was so serious, more serious than she had ever seen him in his life.  

“It’s just rude to make people wait when they land from flights. He’s probably jetlagged! It’s really the principle of it,” and he continued on.  

He didn’t want to keep his friend waiting after so long. I mean, a flight that long surely had to have him worn out. Usopp knew all the blonde wanted to do was curl up and sleep, preferably with him. I mean, in the same bed. They always used to nap together in their high school years. It wouldn’t be too weird if they shared a bed again, so napping together shouldn’t be weird either. He just wanted to lie there, feeling his friend's body warmth beside him. Skin brushing against skin as the brunette let his hands trail to Sanji’s hair, lightly running his fingers through it. Combing through the strands.  

As he spoke, he didn’t notice a woman approaching him from behind. She was taller, looming over him with heels adorning her feet. Long blonde hair that was pulled back at the bangs to show two pairs of shining blue eyes. Nami was the first to spot her and when she did her eyes widened just a bit with understanding, before she smiled. Zoro and Luffy didn’t realize, ignoring her to focus on Usopp’s intelligible ranting about proper airline etiquette.  

“Um, excuse me?” The woman asked, lightly tapping Usopp’s shoulder. It brought him out of his words and made him turn his head. They looked at each other and there was an air of familiarity there. Something was different, but something was earnestly familiar. She looked like home, like someone he had waited for all his life finally back to him.  

“Can I help you?” Usopp ended up asking, although he had more questions than that. Who was she? She looked like someone he had known, but that face was long forgotten. This face was the face he had pictured when thinking about his friend, the original image lost to the depths of his mind. It couldn’t be … but it wouldn’t… could it?  He just stared, trying to piece together a growing puzzle before him. All the while her eyes were growing glassy.  

“Do I know you?” He asked, staring at her with narrowed eyes and a hollow expression. She felt so far away from him. Almost as if she was across the terminal and he had to run to see her, to feel her.  

“I’d hope so,” and there was the laugh. The laugh he knew so well.  

Had it just been three years? And was this the change? Only this?  

Why would this make him hate … her?  

It made so much sense now. All those longing glances to women, or their dresses, or the constant twirling of strands of hair between her fingers. The magazines he found underneath her bed, the lipstick she swore was her mothers. The lipstick he always wondered about. How it would look on her, contrasting her skin. She wasn’t the same person, no, she was herself now. Sanji was herself and Usopp couldn’t help but feel incredibly at ease seeing her, with grown out hair and mascara on her long lashes.  

“Usopp?” Sanji murmured, placing her palm against her forehead in disbelief. He nodded slowly, then again, and again until he forced himself into her arms. She wrapped her arms around him as he did for her, bracing her to his chest. She smelt like oranges and other sweet fruits, something homely. It wasn’t the smell he was used to, the one he remembered, but it was something he never wanted to end. His hands entangled in her hair, the strands he had been fantasizing about for days. He missed it, he missed the soft way it felt against his fingers.  

And he missed her. Her. Not anyone else. Not Sanji before, but Sanji now. Whoever he knew before was gone and he was so utterly glad. “You’re real…” He breathed out, pressing his face into her neck, “You’re so real…” The blonde let out a gasp and he could tell she was crying. Was he crying too? Maybe just a bit. Usopp didn’t think about the others watching them, and he didn’t care to remember them. All he wanted to focus on was her. How she felt in his arms and how he never wanted to let go. I mean, friends felt like this right? A protective urge to make sure she would never leave no matter what. She would never leave him. 

-

His roommates insisted on leaving the two of them in the airport cafe to catch up, wanting to look at the souvenirs instead. Although, Usopp wasn’t sure how interesting souvenirs from their home town would be. I mean, how many plush bears could they buy with their state abbreviation on them before it got boring? Either way, he wasn’t focused on that.  

He couldn’t help but stare at her. The way she stood as she ordered coffee for the both of them. She knew exactly what he wanted without having to ask, effortlessly laughing as the barista made small talk with her. Sanji’s lips shone in the pale light, a pretty pink painting them in a way he had never seen before. It was glossy and a bit sparkly too if he looked up closely. Pink was a pretty color, but he wanted to know what that lipstick from their childhood would have looked like. That dark red with hints of berry undertones against her pale skin tone.  

She insisted on waiting for the coffees while he found them a place to sit. Usopp didn’t mind, finding a nice seat by the window that looked out onto the rest of the airport. He sat down and found himself looking out the window for about a minute or so, before his attention drew back to her. Her hair had gotten so long, and it was pushed out of her face now. He remembered when they were younger and the blonde had insisted her hair should cover a bit of her face. He was so glad she had a clip pushing her hair back to show her eyes. Were they always that blue? Was there a chance her eyes had gotten bluer over the years? And that smile, it never changed. Maybe it was brighter now, more authentic. Prettier. Yeah, prettier. It suited her.  

As he watched her, he couldn’t help but notice the barista giving her a certain look. I mean, he knew she was attractive but that was a bit much. The way he almost outwardly flirted with her in an airport of all places made him frown. Okay we get it, he wanted to scoff, looking away to the window with a hand propping his head up. But then Usopp froze. Why was he feeling so … would jealous be the right word? No, protective? No, no. It felt almost like disgust, a visceral reaction to anyone hitting on her. Anyone getting near her… Anyone touching her- Oh god. This was new. He had never experienced this before. In fact, everything she did was making him feel so strange.  

He tried to swallow them as Sanji sat down across from him, two cups of coffee in her hands. She set one down in front of him and the other beside her, smiling nervously, “It was your old order in high school. I don’t know if you still like that stuff…” There was a weird feeling building in Usopp’s throat as she looked away. Everything she did was making him feel just that, weird. The way she pressed her glossed lips together, or how her eyelashes brushed against her cheek. Sure, she was pretty and he could acknowledge that, but she was starting to make him feel itchy in his skin.  

After he didn’t respond for a minute they made eye contact, and he remembered he had to speak, “Oh, uh, I like it. I haven’t had,” he turned the cup over to look at the order sprawled on the side, but his breath caught in his throat. Usopp didn’t realize she remembered every aspect of his order, down to the milk and pumps of syrup. He had assumed she knew the general order of a matcha latte, but he didn’t know she remembered it… all.  

“You remembered,” the brunette whispered instead, not bothering to finish off his sentence.  

Sanji’s eyes met his and she looked away in apparent embarrassment, a pink blush rising on her cheeks and forming down the bridge of her soft nose, “How could I not remember!” She laughed stiffly, “You used to order it all the time after school!”  

“It’s been three years. I didn’t even remember,” Usopp let himself smile, but he was soon overtaken by that weird uncomfortable feeling again. It settled in his stomach and made his smile falter for a moment. The feeling was different than anything he had felt toward his best friend before, causing him to come to a conclusion: He must be misogynistic.  

. 

.. 

… 

I’m misogynistic!? 

The wheels began to turn in his head, clicking as the gears grinded. It made so much sense. He had no issues with Sanji before but now he had issues. The only thing that was different was her gender, so he must have started hating women sometime after she left him. I mean, he always felt weird around Nami and the women he had crushes on, so it made sense that he secretly hated women without knowing he hated women. All the true misogynists were so misogynistic they didn’t even know it, being so deep into their anti-woman rhetoric, you see.  

It made sense. Every movement she made was making his skin burst aflame, as if he’d stop breathing if she kept looking at him like that. So now that he knew he hated women, what was he going to do!? I mean, she was going to be sleeping in his bed for a week! Well, until her dorm was ready for her to move into. It could be a week, or it could be well over a month. Not like he was complaining- oh but he was complaining! He was going to have to share a bed with a woman, the thing he just realized he hated! 

“Usopp?” Sanji’s voice broke through his thoughts, making him blink to remember where he was again. It was silly, he tried to calm himself. Maybe he wasn’t misogynistic but instead nervous to see her after so long! “Did you hear me?” She tilted her head, resting her chin on an open palm. The movement made his stomach do a flip, and he was back to the misogynistic drawing board.  

“Uh, repeat it for me again?” Usopp trailed off, smiling awkwardly.  

She nodded and continued a bit sheepishly, “I’ve been thinking about you for three years. So, I haven’t really forgotten…” The blonde’s finger traced small circles around her cup, not daring to drink it yet. Her eyes were on him, before she spoke again, “I really wanted to contact you, but I felt too scared that you’d-” But she was cut off by a signature awkward laugh from Usopp.   

“Haha! You! Scared? Me? Hah! I’m… bathroom now!” And he got up, darting from the coffee shop around the corner.  

God! How stupid was he! Of course, he’d have a misogynistic revelation right as he reunited with his best friend, totally ruining the moment. I mean, he could swallow it and hope that this wasn’t misogyny but instead pent-up anxiety coming out in the form of women hating, well, hatred. He should swallow it. The worst-case scenario was he could sleep on the couch and hope it would pass as the week went on. Yeah. It would pass. It would pass and he would be able to enjoy his best friend's company without all of these feelings floating around inside his head. Feelings if she got too close to that barista again, if she looked at him through her long eyelashes, or if she smiled. The smile he loved, the smile he still adored, was being tainted with his own women hating feelings now, wasn’t it?  

They got back to his apartment soon after that. Usopp tried his hardest to ignore his very weird outburst and make her comfortable, regaling her with a story about a play he had the honor of being a tree for back in his first year of college. He was able to swallow his hatred for a bit, focusing on anything else but her. Sitting on the couch, he opted to put Luffy in between them. He didn’t need Nami near him either. Two women was something he wasn’t ready to battle yet.  

Sanji got along with his roommates great, better than he could have ever expected. She offered to cook, although she didn’t have to. She practically insisted, begging them to let her try out a new recipe with whatever she could find in their cabinets [which would not be a lot]. As she cooked, she glided with ease across their small kitchen, going back and forth from boiling the rice to cutting the vegetables on a plate [since they didn’t own cutting boards]. The woman looked ethereal, making Usopp look away instantly when she caught him staring. Why was he staring so long? Was it the hatred of women seeping back out making him ultra focused on her movements so he could promptly feel disgusted afterwards? That had to be it!  

“Usopp,” she called, breaking him from his thoughts again. He turned on his heel and watched her smile form, “Could you tie my hair back?” She nodded down to her hands which were busy with raw chicken, doing whatever it was she had to do with that stuff. Usopp wasn’t big on cooking, so truthfully, he had no idea.  

Touch her. Touch her hair. Well, he had done it earlier when he was overcome with joy from seeing her. So, he could do this! He could do this! The student smiled tightly and followed her command, falling into a step to stand behind her. His hands ran through her strands as he had imagined doing so for days. Soft. It was so soft. When they initially met, he didn’t get the chance to truly soak in how soft her hair was. Usopp took a spare hair tie from his wrist and gathered her blonde strands by the base of her head, bringing it up into a soft bun. Something that he figured would suit her. Yeah. It was pretty.  

It was so pretty, as Sanji looked over her shoulder to thank him, a few hairs falling out of place from behind her ear. Without thinking, the man reached out and tucked them back behind her ear, taking his time dragging his fingers down her earlobe. As he realized what he had done, especially seeing her facial expression, he pulled away. Her lips had parted, as if she was about to speak, and her crystal blue eyes were widened. Why would he do that? Why would he go ahead and do that without thinking!? Stupid, stupid, stupid Usopp! He pressed his lips together and took a step back, wanting to apologize but he … couldn’t. He would have never done that to a man, so why did he do that to her? Did his women hating ideologies also mean he had to push their hair behind their ears and caress their earlobes, too!? 

“Usopp,” Sanji began but she was cut off with a nervous noise escaping his lips, followed by a, “HOLD ON!” The man turned away and made a b-line to his room, slamming the door shut behind him. His back pressed against the door, forcing it shut away from the world. No one else saw that, right? No one else should have. It was weird, God, he was so weird, wasn’t he? Of course, he was. No rational person would be misogynistic and no rational person would take it out on the one person he had been so excited to see for weeks. He was being such a bad friend, wasn’t he? Being so weird and thinking these things, and feeling these kinds of ways.  

Usopp turned the lock on his door and stumbled away to his desk. If he couldn’t come up with answers on his own, as to why he was feeling this way, maybe the internet could help him. It was a long shot, as he was never very good at the internet, but he could try. There was anything and everything on those forums he had heard so much about, there had to be something on misogyny, right?  

So, as he logged into Bing, waiting for his computer to load, he thought about what to search. He could go to Wikihow, and figure out how to tell if you’re truly misogynistic or just weird. Or… worst case scenario, both. Maybe he could go to this website he had heard about called Buzzfeed. Take a few quizzes and hope for the best, he supposed.  

The first quiz he found was titled, “Are you misogynistic?” It was straightforward and to the point, which was what he needed. The first few questions weren’t too weird, like do you have women friends and should women have the right to vote, all things he said yes to. Then it got a bit strange.  

“Do you think men are the superior gender…?” He read aloud, squinting a bit at the screen. Wasn’t that what misogyny was about? And if he was feeling uncomfortable around women, he was bound to think that too, right? So, he decided to click yes, moving onto the next question.  

The rest of the questions had that same kind of air to them, all about how men were superior and women being less than. Each question he chose the yes answer to, as he thought that’s what he felt. Clearly, though, as the audience we know better than that. When the answer screen came up, Usopp felt his world shatter. It said he had a probability of 85% being misogynistic, with the other 15% being inconclusive as to if he was or not. So, he was then. That was all the evidence needed. I mean, the internet was always right, right? Especially Buzzfeed, or whatever website he was on at the moment.  

He went to click out of the tab, but the man heard a knock on his door. He grabbed his laptop and slammed the top closed as the door opened, his best friend’s head peering through the door to look at him. Alone, sitting in the dark, panting a bit, was what she saw of him. Well, it was better than if she had seen the tab opened on his screen, right?  

“Are you okay? Dinners done, I brought you a plate if you didn’t want to eat with everyone,” Sanji spoke softly, as she always did. She was quiet as she entered, closing the door behind herself with her hip and lightly turning on a light. How was she always so kind to him, even if he was such a complete weirdo to her? Even in high school she offered him a kind ear and a plate full of food, even when he didn’t deserve it. He never deserved it. He never deserved her kindness, especially with this new revelation about his personal beliefs.  

“I’m okay,” Usopp smiled at her, reaching out for the plate as she handed it to him. Chicken fried rice, and it looked amazing. He hadn’t realized he was hungry until he smelt it, setting it on top of his closed laptop. His bed was in the center of the room, he noted as she sat down on the edge, just on the floor. The student had never thought to splurge on the fancy stuff like a box spring or a headboard. Sleeping practically on the floor was good enough for him, he supposed.  

“Zoro was telling me about a girl you liked last year. He said she was ugly,” she said suddenly, an air of teasing to her voice as she looked over at him, “I didn’t know you had piss poor taste in women.”  

He turned his head to his best friend, scrunching his face in disapproval, “He always brings her up. She was very pretty.” 

“Was?” She raised an eyebrow.  

“Is,” a frown pulled on his lips, “She’s pretty. Just into blood sacrificing stuff.” He shrugged, waving a hand in the air before continuing, “I think all my exes are pretty.” Exes. Usopp couldn’t believe he could even say he had exes. In high school he had always dreamed of being able to say he dated women, and now he could. It was kind of hollow, showing him, he couldn’t hold down a relationship even if he tried. Three ex-girlfriends, all a copy pasta of each other. Was that misogyny, too? Dating women who looked the same? 

“How many exes have you had?” Sanji asked curiously, “I’ve only had maybe … five,” she said, as though it wasn’t a large number. As if it could be larger. That was Sanji for him, always thinking there could be more when it came to romance. More women, more men, or stuff like that.  

“Oh wow, I’ve just had three. I think we went to high school with almost all of them,” and he listed their names, ticking them off with his fingers. Sanji’s eyes hardened as she watched him, her brow slightly furrowing as he continued on, detailing when they dated and when they broke up. “They all wanted me after I, you know, got more fit.” He motioned to his person a bit stiffly, trying to laugh under her intense gaze. Had he said something wrong? Was it weird to talk about exes with your old friend? 

“They’re all blonde,” Sanji murmured after a moment, her lips barely ghosting one another as she spoke. They looked so full in the dull light of his room, glittering from the angle he was at. For a split second, Usopp wondered how they would feel underneath his fingers. Just trailing his thumb across her bottom lip before letting go and pushing away. How would the skin on her face feel under his palm, as he cupped her face. How would she react if he nuzzled his nose against her cheek and inhaled her citrus like scent?  

He hadn’t thought about the fact they were all blonde. I mean, they did kind of look the same. Usopp nodded, “I guess they are. Are your ex's blonde, too?” He raised his eyebrows, still not quite understanding why her gaze was so intense.  

“No,” she breathed out, “Brunette. I like brunettes better.” Usopp’s stomach turned into a knot, panging deep in his body as she spoke. Why did that make him feel so incredibly nauseous? Was just hearing about her type triggering his misogyny!?  

He blinked a few times and pressed his lips together to attempt to form a line, but it was breaking into an awkward smile, “You know I’m tired. I think I’m gonna sleep,” the student stood and motioned to the bed, “You don’t have to go to sleep now if you don’t want.” He just needed and out of these feelings building in his chest, and if it meant sleeping a bit early, he’d do it. I mean, he could always see his roommates tomorrow. And knowing Nami, she’d be staying for as long as she wanted if it involved free food.  

Sanji stood as well, nodding her head slowly, “I’ll get ready.” That was all she said before she exited the room and left the man alone with his thoughts. Well great, he was going to have to sleep in the same bed with the gender he just found out he hated. He had hoped she was going to stay up with his roommates so he would be asleep by the time she went to sleep. But he couldn’t get everything he had ever wanted, right? Instead of complaining, he pulled his shirt off and slid on some pajama pants, plopping down onto the side of the bed he always slept on the most, the right. He laid on his side and covered himself with a few blankets, trying to will himself to sleep before she got back.  

There was a fifteen-minute period where he was alone, where Usopp tried so desperately to sleep. When the door opened again, and he was still awake, he mentally groaned and turned on his back to see her. Sanji was wearing a tank top that framed her body and her new assets well- although he wasn’t staring! He wasn’t a pervert! No, he was a misogynist.  

Quickly, he glanced away and turned on his other side to face where she would be laying. She sat down onto the bed and shuffled onto the mattress, covering her side in a blanket and staring at him. Her face was bare from makeup, showing bits of freckles poking across her cheeks. Her eyelashes looked the same, and her lips did too. They were still pink, maybe stained from whatever product she had worn before. But soft, they looked so utterly soft. He really just wanted to reach out and touch her face, for a moment.  

“Hi,” Usopp whispered, blinking slowly at her.  

“Hey,” she replied, brushing one of her hands past her ear to push some hair from her face, “I missed this.”  

“Staring at each other?” He raised an eyebrow, to which she nodded.  

“Yeah. I like watching you sleep,” a smile pulled at Sanji’s lips as she looked away, “Did you watch me sleep?”  

Usopp looked away as well, trying his hardest to ignore his thoughts and those overwhelming feelings brewing in his throat, “I mean…”  

“Be honest,” she put a hand on his, that had been resting on the pillow before him. It was soft, sending electric waves through his body as she intertwined their fingers, “You’re going to make me sound creepy if you don’t answer, Usopp.” She was always soft, he thought, remembering their old sleepovers. She was soft and warm, and plush, and God, she always smelt good. He had to admit, he wouldn’t just watch her sleep. He’d bask in her everything until she woke and he’d pretend to be asleep.  

He hesitated, before nodding, “Yeah, I have.” Then it was quiet for a few beats before he spoke up again, “If I fall asleep first are you gonna watch me?” Her hand was so warm, almost lulling him into sleep. If only she was just beside him, pressed against his chest so he could bury his face in her hair… Usopp blinked a few more times, quicker than before as he tried to snap himself out of that thought process. God, that was creepy! Clearly, being misogynistic also meant he was bound to be creepy too.  

Sanji smiled, biting down on her bottom lip, “Maybe. Only if I really want to.”  

“If you want to?”  

“I want to lay next to you,” she spoke quietly, squeezing her hand that held his, “Like we did when we were younger.”  

For just one moment, he wanted to pretend nothing had changed. For one night, he wanted to act like they were back in high school, holding each other and talking about nothing until the sun rose. For one night, he wanted to press a kiss to her shoulder while she slept, knowing she was still coherent enough to remember it the next day. And for one night, he wanted to be the one to fall asleep last. He knew Sanji felt the same way. He knew all she wanted was to go back and pretend nothing had changed, that three years wasn’t three years but a day. That she never left but instead stayed, lived with him. Moved in with him at college. Cooked him food every day. Was his- his friend that is. 

But he had to realize that she chose to live her life away from him, instead of what could’ve been. She chose to leave and every day he had to come to terms with the fact that it never would happen. She would never live with him, cook for him, or stay by his side. Because instead of a day passing, as he so desperately wished, three years left.  

He was completely different now. 

“Okay,” Usopp finally said, letting go of her hand forcefully and patting the space between them, “C’mere,” he mumbled, letting a new wave of exhaustion take over his face. He closed his eyes and felt two slender arms wrap around his back and her face press against his chest. This wasn’t the position he had expected her to take, but he didn’t mind. He pulled her in and curled around her form, chin resting atop her head.  

For one night, they were going to pretend like no time had passed. Even if it was so apparent that it had.  

-

Usopp hated waking up that week. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but his own, being thrust out of his peaceful dreams into a misogynistic sweat. Every day, he awoke to see Sanji nestled beside him, snoring lightly. Her hair was splayed across her forehead and her hand was always interlocked with his. Fingers twitching from deep sleep. It was cute for a moment, before that panging anxiety filled him. And he was back to realizing that this wasn’t as he wanted. He was holding her but at what cost? Secretly, deep down, he hated her and her gender. Everything she stood for; his subconscious hated it.  

That’s what he told himself, at least. 

A week had passed and her dorm still wasn’t prepared for her to live. It didn’t matter to her, meaning she got to spend more time with her old best friend. That was all she seemingly wanted, and it pained him to feel these feelings. Every time he saw her, his heart caught in his throat and made the words he wished he could say barely come out. Every time they made eye contact, he forgot where he was and uttered nonsense to cover it up. And every time she touched him, held his hand, brushed her arm against his, he felt like he was burning from the inside out.  

That morning especially, he was on fire. His arm was on the pillow beside him, hooked around the blonde as she clung to it. As if it was just natural to touch him like that. Usopp had been awake for a bit before she stirred, just watching her. He watched as her breathing steadied and her eyes slowly fluttered open. It was anxiety inducing to hear her groan and turn to face him. Her eyes widened just a bit seeing him stare back at her quizzically. 

“Did I wake you?” She murmured, bringing her soft fingers to push blonde strands away from her face. Sanji looked like a dream, painted by the finest oil paints for Usopp to drink in. For a moment he forgot his misogynistic feelings, his anxiety, all of it. He was stuck watching her chapped lips and her tired, sunken eyes with awe. She was beautiful, in every sense of the word. No- she was more than beautiful. She was ethereal.  

“No, I’ve been up,” Usopp breathed out, bringing his right arm to wrap around her waist, resting his hand against her back. It was unconscious, pulling her in and relaxing at her laugh. For a moment he forgot why he was so anxious to be around her. He forgot his anxieties and instead focused on her warmth, radiating off of her body onto his. 

“I had a dream about you,” her voice was quiet, whispering against his skin. 

“Hm? What was it about?” Usopp asked, looking down at his friend.  

“I cooked you eggs and then you exploded. Oh, because it was so good, you know,” Sanji laughed as he looked away to her shoulder, letting his thumb rub small circles into her back. It was quiet as they fell into a nice silence, that she broke after a few seconds,  “Usopp?” The brunette looked down at his friend, “Do you want to do something today?” At that, he glanced away. He never said no to her, at least he tried not to. And hanging out with her was always fun … in a group setting. The truth of the matter was he had been avoiding one on one interactions, even cutting their late-night talks short by feigning sleep.   

“Yeah, I think Luffy’s probably available- oh and Nami. I think Zoro’s working…” Usopp shifted onto his back, as he thought aloud, adjusting his arms to keep his left around her, while the other stretched out to the ceiling, “We could go to the mall. They have a Macys with, you know,” he glanced at her, “Clothes.” 

Sanij sat up, pressing her palm to her brow bone as she stretched her body away from her friend. She always opted to wear loose fitted tank tops when she slept, which Usopp always tried not to stare at. Being a new misogynist, he realized that creepiness was a part of it too. He tried to push away as much as possible. Yet, every time he saw her exposed skin, he couldn’t help but feel sick. A sickness that called to him, begging him to touch her skin. Just feel it beneath his fingers and wonder why it was so warm. 

“What if,” she looked back at him with her voice tight from her ongoing stretch, “We went alone?” Her hand slipped into her blonde hair, fingers entangling by the root. Slowly, she combed down to her long ends, repeating the motion methodically as she waited for an answer. Usopp never wanted to deny her anything her heart desired, truly, but this was going to kill him. If he was alone with her for more than a few minutes, he was fine. But a few hours? The entire day? Oh, he was going to have to plan his funeral now! 

The man looked away, pressing his lips together, “Yeah,” a croak escaped his lips as he sat himself up, “Yeah, let’s do it.” He gave her a tight smile, something he hoped she wouldn’t read into. Something he hoped she wouldn’t try to ask about later.  

Sanji gave him a small look, but it melted away into a smile, “I can make us breakfast.”  

The brunette shook his head, “Nooo, you’ve been making breakfast everydayyyy.” Not that he didn’t love her cooking, but he didn’t want her to overwork herself, cooking every meal for him. Instead, he pulled his phone out and handed it to her, on a Food Delivery app, “Get Chinese.”  

Sanji took his phone and tilted her head, “What about Indian?” She asked, scrolling through the app and pressing the tile for Chinese restaurants in their area anyway. 

“I had that, like, two weeks ago,” Usopp peered over to the phone to watch as she inputted her order, “And I’ve been craving Chinese for, like, two weeks.”  

The blonde looked at him, narrowing her eyes, “What happened two weeks ago?” Well, two weeks ago she contacted him. And two weeks ago, Zoro had promised Chinese food, only to bring home Indian food. Which was delicious, but not at all what he had been craving.  

“Zoro lied to me,” a laugh came from his lips before he could help it, “I think he had an accident at birth that made him, you know, directionally challenged,” Usopp spoke, waving his hand with a slightly limp wrist to convey his point.  

“Oh, he was a preemie?” Sanji handed him his phone, which he saw also had his order on it too. She had remembered it.  

The thought pulled at his heart and caused a wave of nausea, as he replied, “No he was born.” 

She stared at him for a moment, silently figuring out what it meant. Until it clicked and she laughed, leaning back on the bed and putting a hand over the top of her collarbone, “Oh! He was the accident!” 

Sanji’s laugh was incredible. He couldn’t help but stare as she smiled, letting out tumbling breaths of laughter. Strands of blonde hair fell into her face as she leaned forward and brushed her index finger at the corner of her eye, stopping the incoming tears from her joy. It wasn’t even that funny of a joke, let alone Usopp’s funniest joke. But she found it funny. In some way, she found it funny and it did something to him. It pulled his stomach down and then up, stretching it thin in his body as he watched her.  

Oh, he was going to be sick.  

Usopp stood up and made his way to the door as she steadied her breathing, giggling and repeating the joke occasionally to herself.  

“I’m gonna get ready,” he called out, forcing his own body to move as he went into the bathroom and locked himself inside. His brown eyes stared back from across the sink as he hunched over the porcelain. This wasn’t normal. This couldn’t be normal misogyny. Misogyny was a hatred for women, not the gender making you sick! I mean, unless he had unlocked some kind of rare form of true misogyny. Unless he was the ultimate misogynist who felt so much hatred it manifested into sickness.  

His hands gripped the edge of the sink as his breathing came to him in shallow bursts. Never before had he felt like utter garbage, especially because of her. Because she was doing nothing more than laughing, God he was a prick. He had to call someone, tell someone. Ask for help. Pray for help and hope they could save him from this level of pure evil. 

Shakily, the man pulled his phone from his pocket. Who could he call? Nami was probably asleep somewhere in the apartment, Luffy was at the gym at this time, and Zoro was at work. Calling Nami was the obvious answer, but she didn’t answer the phone. He didn’t want to tempt fate and call her multiple times in fear of sparking her rage. Luffy was the next answer, but he wasn’t very good at keeping secrets or truly understanding human emotions. He was a good friend, but not good with feelings. 

So, Zoro was his last resort. He called, and called, until the moss answered exacerbated, “Long-nose you better be dying,” he gritted out through apparent clenched teeth, on the other line. Okay, so that might have been a mistake, the brunette thought as he awkwardly stared back at himself. He couldn’t recognize the disheveled man before him, who looked like he had seen a ghost. 

“Zoro-” Usopp tried quietly, but he was interrupted with a rant.  

“What is so important you had to call me ten times!?” Okay so this was definitely a mistake.  

“Zoro let me-” Cut off again.  

“You’re so lucky I was outside taking out the trash-” Zoro spat as he was cut off by a loud, “I’M MISOGYNISTIC!” 

It went silent on that end; however, he could hear shuffling come from outside. It sent a sinking pang of fear through Usopp’s stomach as he came to the realization Sanji must have heard him. 

The image of her crumbling because of his words- no, his beliefs- it was making him sick. If she cried because of his words, fell apart and sobbed, he would hate himself. He would hate every fiber of his own being if he was the reason she spoke low of herself, or even thought lowly of herself. He never wanted her to hurt, let alone from his stupid actions.  

“Usopp did you say something?” He heard her voice suddenly through the door, knocking gently on the white wood. A wave of relief flooded his features as he realized, no, she didn’t hear him. She probably heard a commotion and went to check on him, because of course she would. Because she was kind. 

The male released a breath and closed his eyes, deflating back against the sink, “No, Sanji,” he called back, placing the phone to his ear to hear more silence, “Zoro…?”  

There wasn’t a response for a bit, until he heard a small groan, “I’ll have Luffy take Sanji out when I get home. So, me, you, and Nami can understand what the hell you mean by misogynistic.” And the line clicked on the other end, leaving him to stare back at himself.  

-

The two drove in silence to the mall, with some soft music playing from the radio. It was a song Usopp didn’t quite catch the name of but Sanji enjoyed it, humming along quietly as she gazed out the window at the large city buildings. Living in the town over from his childhood home, he knew the area like the back of his hand. The roads were slightly congested, but as they delved away from the heart of the metropolis into the outskirts of town, it got smoother.  

“You know, there is something I want to buy,” Usopp began, signaling to change lanes to the right turn lane, craning his neck over to check it was empty. The car ride was comfortable, especially since he knew he would be able to finally get this weight off of his chest. Get this dark secret off and tell someone without consequence. Well, not that many consequences anyway. 

“What are you gonna buy?” Sanji glanced over at him. She had brought her makeup, setting up a small station on the floor beside the full length mirror her best friend had. She could do it in a few minutes, as if it was perfect. And it was perfect. The wing of her eyeliner brown and subtle, with a few coats of mascara, a bit of concealer, and blotted pink lipstick. All of which Usopp had no idea were things until she explained it to him as she went, earlier. 

He looked at her and smiled, “Surprise.” When they were teenagers, he found a bottle of lipstick in Sanji’s room. She swore it was her mothers, as he investigated the tube. It was a dark shade of red forever burned into his cranium, down to the brand and shade name. He had thought about it every night for weeks after he found it, wondering what it would’ve looked like on her mouth. How it would accentuate the fullness of her bottom lip and her pronounced cupid's bow.  

“Oh, come on, give me a hint,” she frowned, lightly pushing his shoulder.  

Usopp laughed, as they pulled into the mall parking lot, not budging, “Nope. I’ll buy it and you can see it afterward,” a promise fell from his lips as he found a parking spot. It was somewhat by the entrance, showing off the old architecture of a mall that was stuck in the decade prior. But it was comforting, it reminded him of his childhood. This was the mall he always went to growing up, especially with her.  

They got out of the car and walked to the entrance, which he made sure to hold the door open for her. She simply shook her head with a smile, trying not to let it take over her face. It hadn’t changed in about ten years since he started coming there when he was about thirteen, everything stuck in a haze of the nineties. It was nice, especially since he saw Sanji’s face begin to light up as she was filled with a sense of familiarity. She slowed her steps and took it in, gazing with wide eyes at the place before her.  

“Do you remember when we went to the Blockbuster and you tried to rent the R-rated movie?” Usopp asked after the silence was stifling, nudging her shoulder with his own, “Kate Winslet had you in a choke hold.” This was easy. If he didn’t think about it, if he forced himself to swallow his anxiety, it was easy. She was … comfortable. She was home. 

“It was pg-13,” she breathed out, slowly turning her face to look at him, “Where’s the Macy’s?” Sanji’s cheeks were a light pink, different from earlier. She hadn’t applied blush in her makeup routine, unless the cold was starting to nip at her skin.  

Usopp led her to Macy's, breaking off from her as she went to look at clothes. He promised he’d return after he found the bathroom, which was a total lie. Instead, he found himself in the makeup section. It was memorized deep in his skull the name, which shocked the woman at the counter when he said, “I need to find MAC Cosmetics Lipstick in Spice It Up.” She hesitated for a moment and then nodded, pointing him to a row of lipsticks all without the tubes so he could pick the color.  

Instantly, it caught his eye. The color hadn’t changed much over the years, although he remembered it looking a bit more vibrant than the slightly dull maroon he came face to face with. The tube was black, as they all were. But it was hers. It was the deep red he had remembered yearning to see contrast against her pale skin, like drops of blood against white snow. He remembered rolling the tube in his hand and imagining how she would apply it, how she would press her lips together and how it would … look. Usopp picked up the box where the lipstick laid in, paying for it almost instantly. The money didn’t matter, the only thing he could focus on was the fact he was going to see her wear it.  

Usopp found Sanji looking at green blouses a few sections over, running her hands over the fabric and feeling it between her fingers. She studied the material with a keen eye, trying to find the best match for her. It would look amazing, he knew it. He approached her, clearing his throat to gather her attention. The blonde looked over at him and he raised the bag that said “Mac Cosmetics” awkwardly, with a small smile.  

Her eyes widened at the sight, “Usopp… What did you get?”  

“A surprise,” his grin widened as he reached into the small bag, pulling out the tube he had unboxed a few minutes prior, “An old surprise.” He waved it a bit then handed it over to her, where their hands overlapped. Sanji held onto his hand for a few silent moments, staring at her hand over his. Her eyes were glassy, fogged over with a hint of nostalgia creeping into her features. She knew. Of course, she knew exactly what it was even from the tube alone.  

“You remembered?” She looked up at him, pulling her hand away and popping the cap off the lipstick. She twisted the container and out came the color. He was right, it was perfect for her. Her hand entangled into her hair, pressing against her scalp, “I didn’t think you’d even remember the color. I didn’t even…” It was a look of disbelief as she lightly tapped the top of her head a few times with her palm, trailing off from her thought.  

“Of course. C’mon, can I put it on you?” Usopp extended his hand, before he truly understood what he had just said. How could he even think that was a good idea? He wasn’t worthy to hold her face, cradle it in his hands, and gently press the stick to her mouth. He wasn’t worthy to be the one who applied it, even though he really wanted to. It wasn’t normal to want it this bad, it had to be the misogyny talking or something like that.  

He hesitated to speak again, but she nodded and handed it back to him, “Do it. But don’t get it all over me, long-nose,” a small fond smile pulled at her lips.  

“Oh, don’t tell me Zoro taught you that,” he frowned and twisted the tube back down a bit, so not as much product was extended. She laughed as a response and he stepped forward, breaking the distance and forcing himself into her personal space.  

Slowly, his left hand cupped her jaw, with his thumb coming to rest on the underside of her chin, tilting her face upwards. Sanji’s eyes darted from the ceiling to the brunettes, watching with stiff eyes as he brought the lipstick to her bottom lip. He had never applied a woman's makeup to their face before, but he knew you had to be gentle about it.  

Methodically, he pressed the tube of red onto her bottom lip, dragging the tip down from the center of her lip to the bottom, before curving it around the edge of her lip and dragging it to the corner of her mouth. He had seen this done in a movie once, many years ago. And Nami had applied lipstick around him loads of times. The student just needed to go into his mind and unlock those memories. 

The top part of her lips was an easy task, following the natural curvature of her upper cupid's bow and connecting it back to the corner. Delicately and carefully, he patted the product into the center of her mouth, continuing until it was darkened enough. He didn’t want it to be too much; It needed to be just right. As he applied it, Sanji’s eyes stared into his face. She stared with a new look of fondness he hadn’t even seen before, and when he asked her to press her lips together, she looked away quicker than she typically would. 

It was silent, as he watched her shyly pull out a compact mirror to admire the color, he knew she had wished she could’ve worn years prior. She looked ethereal if that was even the correct word to capture her otherworldly level of beauty. It brought out the deep crevices of her face and painted in her ways he never once thought about. She was an oil painting that he had slaved years and time away to create, until she was perfect. And she was perfect. She had always been just… perfect. 

“You did good,” Sanji closed her compact, bringing his thoughts back to reality, “For a beginner.” A smirk tugged at her painted lips and he felt a wave of nausea through his body. He tried to push it away, as she continued, “I never let myself wear it back then. I bought it and stared at it for hours but,” she exhaled, “I’ve never been brave enough to wear it.”  

“You look really good,” Usopp replied, before a heat rushed into his skin, burning it with a deep red, “I mean- Not that you typically don’t- You do- You always look good- I mean you know what I mean… right?” His voice trailed off with anxiety, as his eyes squeezed shut. 

His eyes didn’t stay shut for long, as a subtle hand on his upper arm made them flutter open. She was watching him with a wide-eyed expression, that same pink blush caressing her cheeks. In that light, she was prettier than she had ever been. She was glowing. She was an angel from Earth who had come to take him away. In that moment, he forgot everything he was supposed to worry about. His anxiety, that stupid misogyny, all of it. He forgot it and lived in her presence. He forgot it and lived like she was the only thing worth living for. In that split second of time, Usopp even forgot who he was as he stared back at her with a slightly agape mouth.  

“I know…” Sanji smiled at him, pulling his forearm with her as she began to walk toward the escalator. Like a limp rag-doll, Usopp let her drag him with ease. She had always been stronger than him, even if he had a different body all these years later. Maybe it was because he let her throw him around, because he didn’t have the heart to use his actual strength, let alone fight back. He watched her as she stepped onto the first step and began to drift upwards, waiting for him to follow.  

He always would. 

- 

They arrived upstairs, to the home goods section. It was dystopian to walk around in a department store with a girl he didn’t think he’d ever see again, and he wouldn’t have had it any other way. It was silent as she led him, looking at the different furniture with a soft glance. He tried to focus on the chairs or the different couches, but his gaze went back to her. Every time, his eyes found their way back to her face, her hair, her red lips, all of it. As they stood by one couch, looking at it as she prattled on about how it would look good in Usopp’s living room, she slowly trailed off. Sanji’s expression shifted, as if she was holding back a smile. She pressed her lips together, biting down on her bottom lip tentatively. Her thoughts were clear on her face that she was debating something, mulling it over visibly.  

“Sanji…?” Usopp breathed out, looking at her and waiting for a response back to signal she was okay. The blonde looked at him, taking both of his deep hands with hers. She enveloped them with her warmth and pulled him in, both metaphorically and physically. There was no space between them as they watched each other.  

“Do you hear the song?” She asked, in a quiet tone. It was a song playing over the speakers that was barely audible to him at first. But then he heard it and slowly it captured his ears in a rhythmic tune. He had never heard it before, but clearly, she had, as she hummed along. “I love this song,” Sanji continued, beginning to sway slowly, “Will you…?” She looked between them, raising their entangled hands up to his eyeline.  

She wanted him to dance with her in the middle of a Macy’s. The thought made Usopp want to push away and laugh nervously, declaring he couldn’t embarrass himself like that. But the thought made him want to take her close and hum along too, even if he knew none of the lyrics. The thought made him want to hold her and sway, even if it was just to appease her for two minutes. Two minutes he was going to cherish for as long as humanly possible until it was all over and he was back to being riddled with anxiety. Anxiety that was so far away now, he could barely taste it.  

Usopp pulled her in, taking her left hand in his right and holding it out, while his left arm rested on the small of her back. Her head of blonde hair rested against his collarbone, letting his nose brush against the top of her hair. It smelt better than he realized, something fruity. She was a bundle of summer wrapped into a person's body. Like a ray of sunshine, embodied as a person.  

Sanji’s voice was soft against his ears, singing gently along to the song that was barely audible to him. All he could hear was his own heartbeat and that faint singing. The lyrics were barely visible on her tongue, but he cherished it. Her voice was above a whisper, as if she was soothing herself rather than trying to be known. Almost like she didn’t realize she was singing along.  

Then she squeezed his hand, trying to remind herself she was here with him. Like … she was reminding herself he was truly real. Like she wasn’t sure if this moment would fade and she would wake up alone in a room halfway around the world. Like this moment could disappear at any time and they’d both be left to mourn the shattered pieces. 

He realized he couldn’t let her go. As much as he knew they needed to break apart when the song was done, he physically couldn’t let go. His body wouldn’t let him. He’d keep her caged in his arms for as long as he could until she broke from it. Then he realized she wasn’t going to break away any time soon.  

Not at all. 

-

“Okay, so, let me get this straight: You’re a misogynist now?” Zoro’s voice rang into Usopp’s ears and brought him back to reality, where he was sitting on the floor with his back to the couch as his friends sat across from him. Luffy had been kind enough to make up a cooking excuse to get Sanji out of the house so they’d have at least an hour alone with the famed misogynist as he explained his entire thought process. 

Nami’s eyebrow quirked up as she leaned behind on one palm, “Is that why you’ve been acting weird? Did you discover 4chan or something?” She asked, turning her head to watch her friend. 

Just a few hours prior he had forgotten all about it. All the misogyny, all the nerves building up inside his body making him shake. But now it was all out in the open for his friends to dissect and pick through, making the man feel completely naked under their stare. He was baring himself to them with his struggle, a struggle he didn’t even know he had until Sanji appeared back into his life. This could be the answer to help him, to get rid of it once and for all. 

“Well, no,” he inhaled stiffly, “It’s about Sanji. She makes me feel so nauseous and gross, and it’s never been this bad before. So I went onto Buzzfeed-” Usopp began but he was cut off by a snort from Zoro. 

“Buzzfeed? You trust that shit?” He chuckled to himself. 

“Hey,” Nami swatted her pale hand at her friend, lightly hitting the bridge of his nose as he frowned, “Let him continue. Even if it started from Buzzfeed.” Her words were sarcastic and pointed, garnering another laugh from the moss beside her. 

Usopp looked away. They didn’t seem to understand this ran deep. This was affecting him so much and it was all fueled by hate. A hatred he had and harbored, that could easily hurt the one person he cared so much about. He never wanted to be the reason she cried. He never wanted to be the reason she left again. His ginger friend’s face hardened when she saw his anxious expression. Then it hit her. It wasn't just a stupid joke he was going to say, with some stupider punchline at the end. It wasn’t something that was funny. No, it couldn’t be funny. Hurting Sanji would hurt him so much more than anyone would ever be able to understand. It was serious to him so it had to be serious to her too. 

“Go on,” she spoke softly, nudging his knee with her foot so they could make eye contact. Her eyes said more words than she ever could, trying to be comforting in some way. 

“Every time I see her, I feel so sick. And when she touches me my skin gets all hot and itchy… Buzzfeed said I was misogynistic when I put in all my symptoms,” he said low, shame rising in his throat, “A-And I feel terrible. She cares about me and here I am being all hateful.” 

Zoro watched him, blinking slowly. He was silent as he processed this information, trying to fully grasp what Usopp meant. Then he spoke up, “Do you hate women?” Eliciting a smack from the woman beside him. The brunette looked up from his lap and he continued, “Do you really hate women?”

“Can you try and be sensitive?” Nami retorted back to him. 

“I am! It’s good to ask questions when your friend is self diagnosing as a misogynist,” he spoke through gritted teeth, narrowing his eyes at the girl. 

“No,” Usopp’s voice made the both of them look at him, “I don’t really hate anyone. But if I’m not misogynistic how can that explain m-” Before he could explain further, Zoro waved a hand in the air. 

“You have a crush- OW YOU CUNT-” Zoro began but was instantly cut off by a smack from Nami, which sent him falling backward onto the wooden floor.

“You can’t just tell him he has a crush! You have to ease him into it!” She reprimanded, pointing a finger at the moss, “He can’t handle all that in one go!” 

“He’s an adult,” he groaned, propping himself up on his elbows to stare at her, “I think he can handle knowing he’s in love.” 

She pushed his forehead back, “In love and crush are two different things, idiot!” The man fell back, onto the wood, letting out a breath of defeat. He was stronger than everyone in the apartment, although Luffy rivaled him in that area. It was clear from that interaction alone, he was letting her have her way with him. Zoro never really minded letting people hit him, he had no reason to fight back if it was his friends. And half the time it was. 

All the while as they bickered and pushed, Usopp was seated across from them. His eyes began to unfocus and blur the world before him, turning it into street lights on a night sky. Streaky and blurry against his irises, as he sat and took it in. He wasn’t in love, he was the furthest thing from being in love. No, love was different. He had been in love before when he was younger, with one of his first girlfriends. It was intimate, quick, and it was fun; nothing like the torture he was enduring. 

Sanji’s mere presence made him sick, made him unable to think of nothing but her, made him sweaty and prickled with heat on his cheeks, and made him a terrible person. Around her he felt comforted when he was far away from that mindset, but when it came back he could focus on nothing more than his breathing to ground himself. I mean, it was like this when they were in high school, but to such a lesser extent. He was always on edge around the blonde, breathing heavily and clammy. But that was normal. All friends were like that. All friends wanted to be near each other every day. All friends cuddled into the depths of the night, until it was practically suffocating for them to even think about letting go. 

Friends touched each other, against bare skin for practice. Friends would spend nights upon nights talking until sunrise, because there was so much more to say. Friends kissed the skin on their friends neck every night, as a way to say good night. And friends shared intimate moments since they were young and stupid, and, of course, it wouldn’t mean anything in the moment- or the day after. Of course, they’d never speak about it again. 

Of course, they were best friends.

Then it began to click, all the pieces falling into place. He never heard Zoro talk about Nami like that, how they’d steal glances and wish it would last forever. Or how when their hands touched it felt electric. They never spoke about how hard it was to sleep when the person you loved the most was pressed against your chest and breathing softly into the pillow beside you, so quietly you could barely hear her. But you knew she was there, and that was the most comforting aspect. 

Usopp looked down into his lap, frowning deeply. How could he have not seen he was… in love? 

“Guys?” He croaked, causing them to perk up mid-fight to look at his astonished face, “Am I stupid…?”

Nami hesitated as Zoro blurted out, “Yes.” Causing her to tackle him again and punch his frame, which he let her do as the floor was too comfortable for him to fight back.

“God, I’m so stupid!!” Usopp groaned, turning and burying his face into a pillow where he screamed just a little bit. How could he not have seen it wasn’t misogyny but years of neglected and intense feelings coming up to the surface to bite him in the ass? Maybe he shouldn’t have invested in a mechanical engineering degree if he couldn’t even deduce a simple crush.

“Why are you stupid?” A voice rang in his ears, causing the student to raise his head from the pillow. He saw Sanji, standing above him with a curious expression. She came back a lot sooner than he thought, with Luffy dog piling his boyfriend and their mutual friend with ease. Her outfit had changed from this morning, into something more casual. He sat up and pushed the pillow away, so she could sit next to him on the floor. However, she opted to sit on the couch so her legs were beside him. 

With this newfound information bouncing in Usopp’s brain, it was hard to pry his eyes off her frame. She was gorgeous, even if it was in a baggy T-shirt and jeans. Her body was hidden, and he wanted so desperately to put his hand on her back, bringing her into his clutches. He wanted to run his fingers against her skin just to see what would make her pull him closer. He wanted to see how her hair smelt today, how her skin smelt, how her mouth would feel against his. 

It was perverse and it was wrong, to have these thoughts run rampant in his mind. But they weren’t misogyny, they were built off of pure unbridled love. They were built off of innocence and purity. They were built off of his affections for her. The fact he loved her, so deeply and truly. He always had, ever since they were teenagers. He never stopped loving her, chasing her through other women to fill the void she left when she, well, left. 

Sanji watched as he stared at her, eyes wide with curiosity, “Usopp?” Her voice broke into his thoughts, being the thing that caused him to turn away for a moment. He wasn’t being very inconspicuous with his staring, in fact he was being too obvious. How could Usopp not be obvious anymore, when it felt so good to indulge and watch her exist as a god amongst men? 

“Yeah?” The man looked back at her and he saw something in her hand. It was red and white, and the moment he saw it the thoughts of his affection were replaced with confusion. He hadn’t seen her smoke the almost two weeks she was staying. In his mind, he assumed she had quit between the three years they were apart. 

“Come outside with me? I could use the company,” she motioned to the box, shaking it a bit, “Zoro’s been coming outside with me usually before bed, but he looks a little busy,” her blue eyes trailed ahead of her, where he was letting Nami and Luffy punch his body while he laid there, half asleep. It felt like home to be there, watching them fight and sitting beside someone he cared about, without having to feel bad for those feelings. 

“Is that why you get up early? To smoke?” Usopp asked her as they exited the apartment building into the middle of the street, where the crisp night air hit his cheeks and made them prickle with a red blush. She put on a jacket that was his, asking if she could borrow it because all of her’s were dirty. It was brown leather and too big to fit her anymore, loosely hanging from her frame as she lit the cigarette hanging from her bottom lip. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t know,” Sanji looked at him, waving the lighter before placing it back in her pant pocket. She pulled the cigarette from her lips and exhaled the smoke in the opposite direction from her friend, clearing her throat before she continued, “I always think you’re asleep by the time I go to bed, so Zoro comes with me out here. But then I get to your room and you’re still awake.” 

“So that’s where you got long-nose from?” He mused, placing his hands in his own jacket pocket as he slowly walked forward. 

“He did call you that once, yeah,” she smiled and pressed the cigarette to her mouth, inhaling and closing her eyes. It explained the homely scent that lingered on her skin, even if it was covered in citrus. There was something savory to it he couldn’t quite place, but it was the cigarettes. He knew she had started smoking young, it was almost like her thing back in high school. He could even picture her smoking behind the school as he sat on the ground, watching her with keen eyes. 

“You don’t mind the smell do you?” Sanji asked, turning her head to him. 

They made eye contact and he brushed some coils of his own hair from his forehead before he responded, “No. Reminds me of home.” 

“I didn’t know your parents smoked when you were younger,” she flicked a bit of the ash onto the pavement. With the subtle glow of the cigarette then the dim street lamps, she looked like a dream. Something only a painter could capture. Something that if he tried to get a photo of, it would never be the same. It would never have the same effect as living it would. 

Usopp shook his head, causing her brows to furrow, “You smoked when we were younger.” Sanji silently stared back at him as the small stick stuck from her bottom lip. She let it drizzle smoke from the head as she watched him in the darkness that began to surround them as the sky turned dull blue.

“I remind you … of home?” She asked quietly, a pink blush forming at the bridge of her nose and coming to the apples of her cheeks. 

“Sanji,” he breathed out, “I think you are my home.” Before Usopp could catch himself the words came slipping out, telling more of the truth than he wanted to tell. 

Her lips pursed and she pulled the cigarette from her mouth again, to cradle it between two fingers, “You’ve been acting so weird all this week. I thought I did something. You’re always so red and … sweaty,” a small but awkward smile pulled at her lips, “And you look scared, all the time. Like you’re saying the wrong thing.” 

The moment felt right. The moment was right. She was standing in dull light and he was beside her, just a mere foot and a half apart. The night was fading into darkness, the cigarette was almost up, her hair was pushed back in a messy ponytail, and, god, her lips looked beautiful in the faded shade of red he had applied hours prior. There was nothing more that he could do than stare, even though he knew he needed to respond. 

But how could he respond to her? He was being weird, and sweaty, and scared. He was all of it. No matter what he said, it would sound like a stupid lie to cover up an even more stupid lie. Because in truth, it was. It would be a cover up for something he never wanted to tell her. 

“I’m misogynistic.” 

Usopp pressed his lips together as he realized what the hell he just said. Sanji stared at him blankly, the cigarette falling from her fingers as she slowly blinked in thought.

“No- Well I was- well I thought I was! I thought I hated women, because y-you know you’re a,” he awkwardly motioned to her body then his eyes widened, “Not because that makes you a woman- you are a woman- a very pretty woman! And that makes me scared and sweaty- because I thought I hated women!” Usopp inhaled sharply before he continued, “But I don’t hate women- I don’t hate you! I thought I did- an-and I felt so bad, because then that would mean I hate you- but I don’t! I love you- I love you. Oh. My. God. I love you. I love you like- like- It hurts. It hurts so much that I love you and I’m … saying this… out… loud…” 

Sanji stared back at him as he rattled on, eyes becoming glasslike until they started spilling silent tears down her cheeks. He hadn’t even noticed, until his sentence trailed off and she saw her face glisten in the street light. He had done it. He was the one to make her cry with the beliefs he tried to keep from her. Usopp had made the woman he loved more than he could physically bear because of his idiotic words and timing, and because he couldn’t hold a secret for more than five minutes before pouring his heart out. 

He tried to fix it, “Sanji…” But his voice died in his throat when she let out a small sob, covering her mouth. 

“You… idiot,” she looked at him, brushing her fingers by her waterline to try and stop the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. All the while, a wide smile adorned her face. The smile was what made her friend tilt his head and narrow his eyes in surprise. Surely, he had upset her, I mean, she was crying! How could she be smiling at his misogynistic confession? 

“You idiot!” Sanji smacked him on the head, causing him to stumble back a bit before she grabbed the collar of his shirt and forced her eyes to bore into his own, glossy with her tears. Her expression was crumbling with something that looked akin to joy as she held him close, trying to speak but all that would come out were garbled sobs. And at that moment, all he could think about was how beautiful she looked, all messed up. Her eyeliner was slightly smudged at the corners of her eyes, although her mascara wasn’t budging. Her bottom lip was quivering as she tried to hold back a smile she never wanted to hold back. 

“Are you… upset…?” Usopp raised his hands, slowly placing them on her shoulder blades, slowly prying her away from his shirt. She shook her head quickly, to which he responded, “You’re happy?” At that she nodded vigorously, “Why?” He asked, clearly not understanding. 

“Be-e-cause,” Sanji squeaked, hiccuping before her words spilt out, “You love m-me, too.”

“Oh,” he had forgotten that in his confession of past misogyny, he also confessed his feelings a few minutes after realizing them. “Wait, too? You love me, too?” A kind of burning sensation was growing in his chest until it finally exploded, rising in his skin and melding deep into his face. He was on fire, and it was perfect. If she caused him to burn, he’d thank her and ask her to burn him again. Because he loved her, fuck, he loved her so much he couldn’t stand it. 

Sanji nodded, taking her knuckles to her eyes to wipe away the excess of makeup pooling at the bottom of her eyelid. Even with that messed up makeup and tear stained face, she looked like a painting. She looked messy and human, so beautifully human. 

Usopp placed his shaky hand over hers and brought it to his lips, pressing his mouth onto her fingers. Then her finger tips, then down the base of her fingers to her palm, down to her wrist. She hiccuped as he brought her in close and pressed his lips to her neck, pressing a delicate kiss to her skin as she held him closer. 

“I don’t think you understand,” he breathed out, pressing kisses on her face until their noses were mere millimeters apart, “I love you.” Usopp’s voice was barely above a murmur, something that he spoke only for her ears to hear. 

“I- I know, long-nose,” Sanji sniffed, “I’m home… I’m home now…” She spoke as if she was sure this wasn’t a dream, but she needed to be certain. She needed to know she’d never wake up, and this would never end. 

Slowly, he brought his lips to her’s, just to feel it for a moment. It was perfect, it was absolutely right. His lips were carved from the finest clay and made to be molded against her’s, no one else's. He was made to be her’s. Usopp was born to worship her and be there for her. No one else but Sanji. 

His home. 

[itsabouttimex2]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE YOUR AU!!!!! IT'S SO GOOD!!! op, your ideas are fantastic, you're really creative and an awesome writer!! 💫🌟

The monkiefam dynamic is so fun to read about — and pretty sad in MK's case, the poor guy.

Hopefully it's not too dark of a question, but how brutal does MK get during the primal moon? If he gets too violent with reader, does Wukong or Mac try stopping him or would they just let the natural pecking order happen?

I feel so bad for him, he's is gonna have a hell of a time acknowleding all the stuff he did during the primal moon week :/

Thank you so much, that means a lot to me! I’m glad people like my silly little things! (UPDATED to add a few extra characters!)

Thankfully for Y/N, MK isn’t too brutal- I don’t think they’ll come out with anything worse than a sprained wrist or ankle. The trauma will persist far beyond their injuries, however. When the last green moon of the week fades, he’s positively distraught.

Lining his hand curiously up to a slap mark on Y/N’s cheek to check it, tears brimming in his eyes when it lines up too perfectly to be a coincidence.

I don’t know whether he heartbrokenly distances himself or tries to make up for it with extreme smothering. The poor kid just wanted to spend what was supposed to “just another green moon” with one of his best friends.

And as for Macaque, though he’d really like to help Y/N… he just doesn’t have the ranking. MK is above him in the hierarchy, so he genuinely can’t do anything to upset or piss him off. This only that accomplishes is him getting smacked around right beside Y/N. All he can really do for them is apply herbal balm and bandages after the fact. If he hasn’t had a seal applied to his powers yet, Macaque might think about trying his shadow portals, but… it’s probably better not to risk having two angry monkeys on his tail, demanding to know where he’s hidden their beloved cub/rookie.

Sun Wukong is crazy delusional under the moon’s influence- to him, Y/N getting thrown and tosses all around is just “playfighting”, so he won’t interfere until after things get genuinely harmful. The moment he hears his little “cub” scream and start to cry, Old Sun is there in a second, bringing them into his arms and cooing softly. If they come to him begging for protection and use a “Bàba” to sweeten the deal, they’ll have his shelter for a number of hours, so it’s not impossible to get away from MK… just very hard.

And even after learning that something as severe as a broken wrist has occurred, Wukong coddles MK and forgives him on your behalf, writing the whole thing off as an accident. Not that you get any less smothering then him- you’re now stuck in bed with stiff bandages and surrounded by young mountain monkeys and sweet fruit. In a way, it saves you from any further rough play.

All three of them are dangerous in their own ways, of course. None are outright above “disciplining” you, with slaps or bites or shoves. There’s no (intentional) bone-shattering or flesh-tearing, but they make you afraid that there will be.

———————————————————————

After the Primal Moon ends, there’s a lot of patching-up to do afterwards. For example…

Pigsy has to come down from the constant self-drugging, taking more than a few hours to compose himself and make the rounds with his friends, calling them all up in short order. Once he’s gotten through everyone- Tang, Sandy, Mei, even her parents… then he spends a few minutes making sure he hasn’t gored any holes into his restaurant. Unlocks the windows and doors, but doesn’t flip the open sign.

He’s not up to deal with customers right now. All he wants is to check on his kids.

He’ll take MK and you out to eat today, he thinks. You’ve both earned it, after a week of isolation up in your shared room, under strict instructions to stay inside and come down for no one and nothing.

Red Son is always horribly humiliated when everything is said and done, a groaning and red-faced mess of shame. Another week of essentially devolving into a child, desperate for love and attention. Another, slow, grudging week of constant begging for skinship and words of praise. Needless to say, he’s pissed off and looking for an outlet, and beating on the numerous Bull Clones just doesn’t seem all too enticing… when he’s got a much squishier target who’ll actually squirm and yelp?

Sure, he’s not going to outright mangle you. No permanent burns. No shattered spine. And he’ll take pity on you eventually and stop with the torment. After a few months, he might even start to like you.

Let’s hope you get there mostly unscathed.

[monkie-kid-oc-showdown]

Lian (@squidthechaotickid)

she/they

Lian is a stone monkey, born at the same time as MK, and grew up not at Pigsy's -- but in the rival noodle shop across the street. Lian didn't even realize she was a stone monkey for most her life, working with her father as a dishwasher and server.

It wasn't until the events of s5, when the pillar of heaven was cracking, that she found everything out. She felt a strange draw to the pillar, as if someone were calling for her. When she arrived on scene, xiangliu explained her role in the matter; she was a backup. Nuwa had placed two monkeys in the stone that day; MK, the sacrifice, and Lian, a replacement in case MK was unable to fulfill his destiny. Fortunately, neither were sacrificed, and Lian was able to escape without ever being seen by the Monkie Kids.

But her life changed a little after that. She had a rocky relationship with her father before; he wasn't supportive of her transition, he was overbearing, he was generally just an unlikeable guy. She really didnt like her life all that much.

But MK? MK had a great life, at least in her eyes. She wanted his life so bad. What was she, anyway? Even in her destiny, she was only a replacement. Not even that important.

She eventually makes an effort to befriend MK, but it takes her a long time to tell him that they are, in fact, twins. She's a little bitter, but she comes around eventually.

She also has a thing for Nezha. Not romantic or anything, she just really really admires him, in the same way MK admires Wukong.

Xiāo Húdié (@keykittygirl)

Species : Xian Li

Age : 12 years old

Has the eyes of the color violet who's seen as precious by the kidnappers, but seen as a freak by her peers and caretaker...

Living in the part of the city who's not that really tolerable toward demons of all kinds...

But at least one caretaker love her with her life like she does to the other kids...

But as time goes she keep wondering why...

And what happened before she was found on that river...

The morning of her twelfth birthday opening the door toward the answer...

As the night before a strange thrump has plaguing her soul till she out of light...

It happened not long after she obtained the spear that her lovely caretaker claim has been hers since she first find her...

And it's feel like it stirring something in her... Something that has long forgotten...

As she thought she just tired and need sleep to calm herself down...

But instead of those strange feelings fading away it only get worse...

Nightmare along with a feeling of something start to shatter plaguing her all night...

And in the morning...

The tiredness caused her to wake up later than she used to...

Feeling something is odd about herself...

Something fluffy brushing around her legs...

And the noise around her has increased in loud...

But she's to weary to care...

But an average bullying make her realize what different...

A pair of fluffy ears over her head and a long fluffy tail tucking out from her simple nightgown...

But it's not her alone who realize...

The others...

They see it...

The look in their eyes...

The scream...

The constant yelling of abomination, monster, freak, and others...

It hurts more than it used to...

All she can do was just run...

And keep running to the point she almost got in an accident...

But luckily, that unfortunate moment has lead her to meet the Monkie kid and the Dragon girl or as they prefer MK and Mei...

Hope start to spark in her heart...

Maybe...

Just maybe...

They can help her find the answer...

[darcytaylor]

There is a pattern to these fandom freakouts that's quite frankly become exhausting. Every time L hasn't posted in a while, trolls come out of the woodwork, posting shit affecting his loved ones, hoping to spur him into action. This is what happened last time with the HBS likes. Every time there's info or even so much as a hint that he's still with A, a smear campaign against him is launched, without fail. But if he posts something about Bton, all is forgotten in seconds, he's suddenly uwu babygurl Lukey Newts, perfect boy. Every. Fucking. Time. This is what happens whenever a celebrity isn't doing a little monkey dance for the fandom. And it's such a weird thing - if they're obsessed with someone, it doesn't necessarily mean that they love or even like them. In which case, I would like to kindly ask - why are they even here? Like, what are they hoping to get out of this experience?

Personally, I'm tired of going into any Bton fandom space at this point, hoping to see what's new and hopefully have a good time, and getting bombarded with literal nonsense that will be disproven within hours yet will somehow linger in the collective fandom memory and become a building block of increasingly unfounded theories that have diverged completely from reality, yet get regurgitated as fact every time new info emerges. They always find a way to contort even the most benign piece of info into intractable timelines of things that have been given meaning that they simply don't bear. Literally if you were to pull a thread, the whole thing would fall apart. Yet, these same things get resuscitated every time the fandom is mad at L or N or whoever for not doing whatever it is they think they should be doing.

The entitlement is mind-blowing and the rinse-repeat cycle of chicken-littling over the minutest thing is sucking every bit of joy out of being in this fandom anymore. It has become more time-consuming just trying to curate my experience than actually consuming content I'd like to see. What is even the point anymore, folks, huh? Would your own lives withstand the same kind of scrutiny you're putting these people under? They're just trying to make entertainment and a living out of it, what's the point of ruining everything? Whence even the urge? None of this is that deep. Is everyone just a miserable fuck anymore? I'm sorry for ranting, but it's become not worth it for me anymore when May was such a blessed time. Why can't we all stay in that energy? What good could possibly come of this? Thank you for listening and take care of yourselves, everyone.

I totally get where you're coming from. Fandoms can become overwhelming, and it sounds like you're feeling really drained by all the drama and negativity. It’s hard when a space you used to enjoy turns into a battleground of speculation, entitlement, and frustration. Your feelings about how fans treat celebrities and the constant cycle of drama are completely valid. I've noticed this pattern as well. It’s disheartening when every action or inaction of a public figure is scrutinized and twisted into something negative. Luke might not have handled everything perfectly, but the extreme reactions often reflect a lack of empathy and misplaced expectations.

It’s also frustrating when fandom spaces are overwhelmed with misinformation and sensationalism. This is why I found myself rolling my eyes at the information coming out yesterday. People should be more mindful about the sources of their information and why it’s being spread. The effort to sift through and debunk myths can be more exhausting than just enjoying the content. Constantly having to defend yourself or distance from the negativity to keep your enjoyment intact is disheartening.

It’s tough when people criticize you for trying to view the situation from a different perspective and not just join in the attack without knowing all the facts (or at least a good portion of them). It’s definitely tiring. I was feeling this yesterday because of the asks I was getting.

Remember, it's perfectly okay to step back if the environment is no longer enjoyable or is affecting your well-being. Fandoms should be a place for sharing enthusiasm and connecting with others who feel the same way, not a source of constant stress and conflict. I hope you find a way to rekindle your enjoyment of the fandom or at least find some peace with it. Take care of yourself and focus on what makes you happy. ❤️

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 18

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 41.3k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: Well, clearly I need to stop deeming one or another chapter the longest of the series when I still haven't written the rest cos I'm actually equally horrified and surprised that this chapter is this long - especially since I had to chop down a third of it to push it towards a new chapter. Yep, that's right - you lot are getting two more chapters after this one and the epilogue lol Anyway, I cannot believe I'm posting this chapter finally!!! Pinch me moment, really, but I hope with all my heart that you love it. Also sorry but I just literally finished writing this so it's not fully proofread so I'm very sorry if there's grammatical and spelling mistakes. Okay, I'll shut up now!! Enjoy!!! xxx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 |

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Four days had passed since that stupid article had come out and Ella seemed to be working on automatic. She was trying her best to appear completely normal and unbothered while every word she’d read that day echoed inside her mind in an agonizing loop.

The giddy Ella that Ben had been teasing all day that Thursday was long gone by the end of the day. He had been completely ignored when he asked her what was wrong while everyone was saying goodbye and walking out the door to go home.

And the following four days were just the same: a blank expression on her face that only was exchanged from time to time for a forced smile she pulled whenever someone asked her if she was alright.

Ben had tried to joke with her on Friday, teasing her about being so down bad for Alex that she was missing him too much to function. But it had gone poorly. Ella had frozen in her place and stood up abruptly after a few beats of silence, grabbing her pack of cigarettes and lighter to take with her outside and her voice broke as she mumbled that she needed to go for a smoke. That was when Ben started to actually worry.

Even her coworkers had realized it was something far deeper than they’d been thinking when Monday had come around and she looked the same as the end of Thursday and Friday. At first, they thought she was just shutting down after coming back from her hometown, but she never let it drag on this much when that would happen. Usually she’d speak to her family on the phone on the weekend and that’d be enough for her to be cured of the homesickness, but this time it was apparent that it just wasn’t the case.

They tried to cheer her up during lunch break, tempting her with an offer to take her to her favorite Los Feliz restaurant, but she shook her head to decline their advances. With an absent look on her face, she told them she’d brought her own food that day. No witty remark to hold them up to that offer in the future, just falling silently into eating—more like moving around—the lunch she’d packed herself the night before.

Even if she was behaving that way, she was fully invested in her work and whilst everyone appreciated the fact that work wasn’t being halted, it just wasn’t something anyone in the office enjoyed seeing.

So Ben and Aaron begged her to go home earlier that day, knowing she’d be willing to stay way past usual hours just to drown in the work that had accumulated slightly while she was in Tennessee. She had already caught up with a lot on Thursday and Friday, and the last thing anyone wanted was for her to burnout due to her seeking an escape from whatever was going on by working non-stop.

Ella’s eyes were red from how long she’d been staring at her computer, editing pictures without a break once she came back into her office after finishing lunch—which had been a mere few bites of her pasta before threw it away. She still had two weeks to give back the finished product but she was determined to just do everything and anything she could to distract herself from her thoughts.

Staying at the office later than usual on Thursday and Friday had helped, and the weekend she’d spent alone at home had been beyond miserable, she needed the distraction that work gave her that Monday, and every day that would follow until her mind would stop racing and she could try to get over everything—force herself to forget about everything that had happened in Tennessee and forget about the hope that had bloomed inside her from it all, the one that made her heart break in a thousand more pieces the more time passed.

It was all a blur how Ben and Aaron managed to get her out of the office by six in the afternoon and when she got back home by seven, she was thankful for loud music and the lighter than usual LA traffic.

She’d spent the weekend deep cleaning every corner of her house, trying to be meticulous in every aspect so that her focus was completely on her tasks, so many movies had been playing in the background those two days. Crying over fictional people’s lives seemed to be just what she needed to fool herself about what she really wanted to cry over. When she had gone into her room to clean it though, it had gotten tough and Sunday had unfortunately ended with her sobbing as she clutched onto that Clockwork Orange shirt she’d never given him back.

So when Ella stepped foot into her spotless house, she started to panic over what she was meant to do so as to not drive herself insane for the rest of the day.

Breana solved that for her by calling her. She was currently on the way to Indianapolis with the lads and she’d been trying hard not to stress herself about Ella’s lack of answer to her texts throughout the entire day.

Unlike Alex, Breana hadn’t gotten the version of Ella who was acting like nothing had happened; she’d gotten a sad and absent Ella on the phone every time she called, and the texts would always come late and short. The model was actually surprised about how well Ella was playing it off to Alex, chipper on the phone to him and smiling hard, making sure to reply on time and joking with him through texts.

She was trying to fool everyone else into thinking everything was alright, and the only one who actually saw how broken and despaired she was, was Breana.

“Hey babe, I thought you were gonna text me during your lunch break.” Bre said softly when Ella picked up the facetime call.

Ella could see that she was hidden away in the back lounge of the bus so she felt relieved that she could let herself break down freely in front of her best friend.

“Sorry, completely forgot. Everyone was trying to ask me what was wrong and to cheer me up and I was focused on not crying in front of everyone.” All the tears she’d been holding back started to silently run down her cheeks, it made her feel so pathetic but she needed to cry after trying so hard not to all day.

Bre’s face fell at the sight and she wanted to be there with her and hold her all night, console her and tell her it’d be alright. After all, Alex still hadn’t mentioned seeing Alexa in New York so it felt like Ella was worrying about a phantom menace.

“It’s okay. Let it out, hun.” The model sighed when she watched Ella drop her head and start quietly sobbing, her shoulders shaking as she wept. “Why don’t you– Have you thought about asking him?” Bre asked wholeheartedly, thinking that Ella subtly asking him about it would lead to him honestly giving her the answers she needed.

But Ella was long gone in psyching herself into the worst situations, so there was no way in hell that she’d risk her own heart all over again by asking him about it. There was no way she could ask without exposing herself and she had no idea if she could ever come back from getting her heart broken by Alex again.

It was way different this time, nothing like what had happened in 2012 but exactly because of that is that Ella was terrified to risk losing him now that he meant so much more to her.

Just thinking about how much she loved him was enough for her to cry a little harder as she shook her head before lifting it up to look at Breana through the screen. “I have thought about it but I won’t do it. I can’t just ask him without making it obvious that I’m in love with him and then what? If he’s actually considering it with Alexa like everyone is raving about online then, what? I do my best to ignore the heartbreak so I don’t ruin the friendship?”

“Ella, he’s not said a thing about Alexa and we’ve all talked about New York multiple times these past few days.” Breana explained with a sigh, hoping her words would help settle Ella even if it was just slightly.

“Yeah, well. Maybe he’s hiding it. Maybe something happened and he hasn’t said anything ‘cause everything in Tennessee is too fresh and you’d all shit on him for it.” Ella was reeling by then and she knew it but everything that was being said online about the pair getting back together was making her come up with every and any theory that would back it up.

She was trying to get ahead of the big reveal and make herself numb to the future heartbreak, getting herself ready for the worst possible outcome. She was still trying to come to terms about the fact that this most likely meant losing him for good. There was no way she’d be strong enough to endure seeing them together while she was stuck longing for what could never be.

“You need to stop reading the bullshit people say.” Breana raised her brows at her with a stern look on her face, knowing Ella had gone on Twitter again and read what people were saying like she had on Sunday after finding Alex’s shirt in her wardrobe. “If you don’t ask him, I will. So you’ve got until the weekend to do it.” The model gave her the ultimatum and it was enough for Ella to scoff loudly and frown.

“You can’t do that.” Ella said breathlessly, the hurt clear in her voice.

Bre shrugged, “You’re driving yourself mad, Ellie. I can’t keep seeing you like this because of something that’s clearly not happening.” Her words didn’t matter because Ella was still looking at her like she’d just stabbed her in the back, “What happened with everything your parents said? Don’t you remember huh? They were right, in every single thing they said. And your mom is right too, you should tell him even if it’s through the phone.”

Ella shook her head, “Not happening anymore. Sorry Bre.”

Breana gave her a sad smile, “It’s not me you should be saying sorry to, Ella. The only one you’re hurting right now is yourself.”

Those words hit Ella like a punch in the gut, her breath hitched in her throat as she tried not to sob loudly and she let her gaze drop to her hands. She couldn’t handle much more anymore today so she shook her head and hastily let Breanna go, “I’m gonna make myself something to eat, shower and go to bed. I’ll text you in the morning.”

Breana’s sigh was full of anguish for her best friend but she knew it’d be worse to push, she’d only drive Ella into a worse state and she needed to relax. “Okay babe. Don’t forget to text me yeah? I’ll be waiting for your messages.”

Ella only hummed with a curt nod, her gaze wandering around her desolate kitchen for a second before facing Bre again and saying goodbye, “I promise I’ll text. Love you.”

“Love you.” Breana reciprocated and ended the call herself.

When she came out of the back lounge to where everyone was hanging out, they all picked on the sadness that had overcome her expression.

“Y’alright?” Jamie asked Bre as she sat down next to Matt, making the drummer turn to look at her fiance and when he caught the look on her face, he hugged her tightly and dropped a kiss on her cheek.

“Yeah, yeah. Just tired.” The model excused and the guitarist nodded. Everyone caught her up on their conversation then, slowly managing to get little giggles and soft smiles from her as the time went and they got closer to the state of Indiana.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The following day, Ella woke up to the ringing of her phone. An incoming facetime call from none other than Alex. A call that made her frown and startle awake since it was half past six in the morning and all she could think about was that the early call meant an emergency.

But Alex’s chipper, “Hiya, darling.” proved nothing close to an emergency had happened.

“Hi, sweetness.” Ella replied breathlessly. Seeing him ready for the day with his hair yet to be gelled back with a bright smile on his face that not even the cigarette that he was smoking could hide, made her want to scream. “You’re very smiley today.” She teased him the best she could, trying to ignore the ache in her heart that got more prominent when the memory of the article and the stupid online chat weaved through into the forefront of her mind.

He hummed like he was aware. After all, his cheeks hurt from how hard he’d been smiling for the past hour. “I’ve got good news.”

“Oh?” Was all that Ella managed to say, her signal to get him to start talking.

But all Alex did was smirk and hum, “Mhm.”

She knew what he was doing, so she rolled her eyes as she let herself fall back onto bed and rest her head on the pillows, “You’re gonna make me ask, really?”

“I am.” Alex cheekily replied, his smirk only getting bigger at the prospect of having her guess what it was.

From the way he was smiling, Ella had a feeling it had to be about his imminent move to Los Angeles, so she grinned back shyly and softly asked as excitement started brewing in her chest, “Is it about the house?”

“Yes.” He answered with joy, but still steered her into guessing.

So she continued with her guesses, “Have you got it?”

He nodded eagerly before explaining further, “Signed an hour ago and my agent got the keys so yes, it’s all mine now.”

“Fuck off!” Ella gasped and sat back up on her bed, “So you’re moving here for the holidays?” Tour was meant to finish mid November in South America so that’d mean that he was gonna be moving to LA just in time for the holidays and that made her incredibly nervous to think about.

But Alex shook his head and clarified, “Moving in this weekend actually.”

The notion had Ella breathless and wide-eyed. “What?!” Ella stuttered when she managed to stop holding her breath in shock. He was moving in that very weekend and all she’d done the past week since she’d last seen him was sob over some stupid paparazzi pictures of him and his ex.

“Yeah, well, our last festival this month is tomorrow so I’d be flying over to LA on the 26th and moving in until we have to go back on tour on the 2nd.” Alex explained easily. He’d bought his ticket back to LA with the rest of the group only a few minutes before and the first person he had to tell was Ella.

“Wait, so you’re coming back in two days?” Ella was truly shocked at this all, she kept blinking as if wanting to properly wake herself up because it all just didn’t feel real.

Alex flashed her a toothy smile, “We all are. Bought our tickets about ten minutes ago.” Seeing her getting even more surprised by that information made him want to coo out loud, she was so cute. He wanted to kiss her face over and over and over again.

“Holy shit.” Ella muttered under her breath, getting up from bed and walking towards her dresser to actually start getting ready to go to work.

The singer chuckled at her but attentively watched her every move on the screen as he continued, “And I’m gonna have everyone over on Saturday for a housewarming party.”

Ella nodded, her throat becoming dry at the thought of only having four days to mentally prepare to see him in person again after the torment she’d kept to herself. She had no idea how she’d be able to hide it from him in person, it was already hard to hide it from him through texts and facetime. But in person? She could only hack acting okay for an hour maybe, there was no way she could play it off for a whole afternoon.

“Right. Let me know if you want me to take anything. Is it gonna be like Matt and Bre’s?” She asked just to be prepared for who she’d have to hide from. If it was just the lads and the girls then it’d be tricky but at least she’d have Breana to lean onto and she’d feel more comfortable.

Her heart stopped when Alex shook his head and said, “A bit bigger. Steve and Davey are flying in with us so Mia, Davey’s girlfriend, is gonna be there too. Miles is gonna come as well and some other friends we have in the city.” He took a pause to think about the list he’d written down inside his mind and he added, “Oh, Josh is coming too and I think Alexa is coming over too.”

At the mention of that name, Ella felt herself go cold and pale. She was so glad she’d decided to move off camera as she went to grab a pair of jeans just as he said that.

“Darling?” Alex asked with a frown when he didn’t hear a thing coming from her.

Ella took a few deep breaths as she tried not to burst out crying, the wound she’d been opening up more and more with her overthinking for the past week felt like it had started bleeding all over again and she was trying her best not to cry in pain.

Clearing her throat, she rose back up and appeared on the screen. She kept her head hanging low so he wouldn’t see her failed attempt of a smile, she lifted her jeans up and chuckled dryly before excusing herself with, “Sorry, was getting my clothes for work.”

His eyes went wide when he realized he had once again forgotten about time zones and the fact that it was a Tuesday morning. “Shit, darling. Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you and make you late for work.”

She finally looked up and waved him off, “You actually helped ‘cause I’m pretty sure I snoozed my alarm.” Moving out of frame, Ella started changing and she was so glad she could use the excuse of getting changed for him not to complain about her not showing her face like he always did when she tried to hide from him. “Miles and Josh are coming?” She asked first, feeling like him mentioning Alexa first was the best opening she’d get to ask about it without having to risk her heart.

“Yeah, you know Miles wouldn’t miss this one after not being able to come to Matt’s. And Josh has been trying to convince me to move over here since we met him back in the Humbug days.”

Ella chuckled as she pulled the jeans up her legs and buttoned them up, “That’s a long while he took to convince you.”

Alex hummed, “Well, he wasn’t the one to convince me in the end.” He hoped she’d get what he was trying to say, his smirk was a clear sign that he meant she was the sole reason he decided to finally do it.

But Ella wasn’t looking at her phone, she was staring at herself in the mirror and giving herself a quick mental pep talk as she geared up to ask, “You said Alexa is coming too? Alexa Chung?”

“Ah yes.” Alex nodded, “Bumped into her in New York the other day and we were chatting for a bit. I told her I was moving here soon and she said she was due a visit to LA so I should let her know if I was doing anything once I got the house.” He hoped he was playing it cool because in all honesty, most of the talk he’d had with Alexa was about how he was trying to get the house as soon as possible to finally be able to get things moving in the right direction with Ella.

“Oh, right. Right.” Ella said casually, like she wasn’t trying to figure out if Alexa had said that as a friend or if she’d been flirting.

“She’s excited to meet you, you know?” Alex continued, unaware of how Ella was struggling to take in the new information, “She’s seen your pictures and she loved them. Think she said something about wanting you to take her pictures, she loved the ones you took at Katie’s last year. Said you were brilliant.”

Deep breathe in and out. Ella tried not to think about how it’d be to not only meet her in four days but make peace with the fact that anything she would’ve hoped to have with Alex would also be gone in four days.

“I’m sure we can arrange something on Saturday.” Ella hoped she sounded like she was smiling, but the mirror reflected a wince instead of a grin and she wanted to scream at herself for being so pathetic.

She walked back into frame, watching Alex take one last drag of his cigarette and toss it to the ground. A pang of hurt flooded her system and she smiled sadly knowing that she’d soon lose all of this, purely because of her inability to just speak and make herself vulnerable to take a chance on it.

“Sweets, I unfortunately gotta go now but I’m so fucking happy for you and I really can’t wait to see you this weekend.” Despite the hurt, the love she felt for him shined through and it showed on her face. On her eyes shining as she watched him smile at her, on the sweet grin she offered him.

“Me too darling. I’ve missed you way too much.” Alex admitted with a loopy smile. He almost could already feel her arms around him as he clutched onto her when he’d see her next. Just a few more days and he could have her by his side again. And hopefully his plan would work out and he would be able to kiss her again, and again, and again. “Love you. I’ll see you soon.”

“Love you.” Ella replied, a hint of sadness behind the words, like she was mourning the loss of its actual meaning already. The loss of the opportunity to let him know how he’d driven her mad, and how she’d been so close to just risking everything in hopes he felt the same way. “See you soon.”

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Ella had been incredibly thankful that she’d gotten ahead of herself with her workload those three days she was back at the office because on Tuesday, after Alex’s call, she’d barely been able to concentrate enough to finish what she’d left halfway done on Monday.

She’d been frantically texting Breana all day, not knowing what to do with the fact that Alexa was meant to show up on Saturday along with everyone else. How could she even keep her emotions at bay when she was gonna be there too? It was impossible, and if it was any other case, she’d avoid the event altogether but she couldn’t. She just couldn’t because not only would Alex get suspicious and she’d feel like she would be letting him down, she wanted to know straight away if anything between the singer and the model were to happen.

Breana had let Ella talk all about it when she called her as soon as she got back home from work. The model had only a bit of time to talk to her best friend before she had to leave to see the band take on the stage of Summerfest to end the opening night of the festival with a ninety minute long set.

But before she could go, Bre left Ella with a few questions that she’d be pondering an answer to for the next twenty four hours.

“What if nothing happens between them on Saturday?” The model started saying after Ella had gone on a rant about what she’d have to do once Alex took Alexa back the day of the housewarming party. “What are you gonna do if there’s nothing going on there? Are you gonna waste another opportunity?”

“I doubt nothing will happen, Bre.” Ella sighed, rubbing her face in exhaustion. She needed her brain to stop for a bit so she could rest from the worries that filled her insides with dread.

Bre scoffed, “He said he bumped into her and they chatted about him moving to Los Angeles. How’s that a sign of them getting back together?”

“I don’t know, okay?!” Ella said loudly, wincing when Breana’s face fell at the volume and hostility of her response. “M’sorry. God, I’m so annoying. I’m sorry, I’ll stop bothering you with the same thing. I promise I’ll stop.”

“I just want you to stop with the bullshit.” Breana said frankly, “Stop with the stupid theories and the lack of security on where you stand with him. Alex doesn’t ever stop talking about you, he always has you in mind when even the smallest things happen. He smiles like a fucking fool whenever you text him and I know he’s texting you because I ask him every time and it’s always you. This is their fourth festival since Bonnaroo and I bet he’s going to say it doesn’t compare to Tennessee like he’s said with the other three before.”

Ella just stood there silent as she took in every word Breana said, the model took her silence as a sign to continue, “And why are you even waiting until Saturday for?! We all land tomorrow night and he’s going to his new house straight away so he’ll most likely be getting everything ready on Friday. You’ve got all of Friday to go see him and try your luck. You just gotta do it, Ellie.” In Breana’s mind, this was Ella’s chance and it would be such a shame to miss it, “Just go and tell him on Friday, spare you the hurt and the stress of waiting until Saturday for something—which isn’t fucking happening, by the way—to happen.”

There hadn’t been a chance for Ella to reply since Kelly and Katie came by the trailer to get Breana out and take her to the balcony since the guys were about ten minutes away from taking over the stage. Ella had to put on a smile and say a quick hello and goodbye to the girls she also missed tons, and then pretend like the call ending didn’t mean she was gonna go crazy with her own thoughts for the rest of the night.

Ella had fallen asleep thinking about every word Breana had said and she woke up to the same internal debate she’d been having all night. Would it be better if she just got it out of the way? If she’d just told him and have him let her down easy if he didn’t reciprocate. Have the chance to avoid seeing everyone on Saturday if it meant what she was dreading was actually happening, to start distancing herself before the damage was irreparable, to give herself a head start on the pain it’d bring her to lose everything that came with Alex.

There was a point during Thursday where everything changed from being unsure of telling him to knowing it was the right thing to do and it might’ve been the fact that he texted her, right as she was packing everything up to leave the office and head back home, to let her know that he was boarding his flight and it’d only be a matter of hours before they were in the same city.

She figured it was her lack of patience and the overwhelming need for answers that flipped the switch inside her. There was no chance she’d let this opportunity pass and she’d just have to deal with the consequences when the time came. She just needed to stop being afraid and face whatever would come with the strength she knew she could find inside herself.

For fucks sake, she’d been cheated on twice in her life already and she’d come out of the other end alive and well. And she’d survived it. What would another heartbreak do to her? Probably break her, realistically, but there was no way of knowing if she didn’t do what she needed to do.

Her appetite was gone by the time she finished cooking herself dinner but she’d tried eating as she watched a movie and it had worked to eat most of her plate. But she was fully spent by ten in the evening so she quickly washed the dishes and got herself ready for bed.

It wasn’t until she went to grab her phone from her coffee table that she realized Alex had texted her about half an hour before, her heart hammered inside her chest as she read what he’d sent.

(26/06/2014 21:43) Just landed and we’re waiting for our bags! Seeing the new house very soon. Do you want pictures or would you like a proper tour when you come? Cannot wait to see you darling xxxx

His words made her giggle like a fool, she bit her bottom lip as she went over his message again and walking back to her room, she threw herself on her bed and typed a response.

(26/06/2014 22:18) Think I’ll endure a few more days of intrigue and take you up on an actual house tour on Saturday. I missed you sweetness, can’t wait to hug you!! xxx

Ella couldn’t believe he was back in Los Angeles again, and she fell asleep with a grin on her face and her phone in hand as she waited for him to reply. A reply that she wouldn’t see until she woke up the next morning.

(26/06/2014 23:36) I’ll have you come earlier on Saturday then, give you proper time to take it all in. It’s cosy here, I think you’d really like it. You’ve no idea how much I just wanna have you here already and give you a cuddle. Love you darling xxxxx

As she got ready for work, she kept reading and rereading the message. Breana’s words echoing inside her mind as her gaze went over the text again and again.

It was Friday and this was it. It was the one day she could just get it over and done with, and it hurt thinking of treating the love she felt for him like a burden that she had to try and strip off herself as soon as she could, but it was for her own good. To know where she stood, to deal with what he was gonna choose to do.

But knowing what she’d decided to do and having to endure a full work day with it in mind had her going crazy. Every time Lydia would come in to check things with her, she was half distracted and had to ask the PA to repeat herself. She felt awful for it but she couldn’t help it, and she’d apologized for it multiple times.

By the time she came back from her lunch break and she’d been trying to properly answer emails for an hour, Ella called it a day and left. Ben and Aaron got a hasty apology for her early leave that they waved off, and they watched her all but run out of the office with confused looks on their faces.

Ella was just driving. She had no idea where she was going because after twenty minutes on the road, she knew it wasn’t the way back to her house, but she kept driving until she realized she’d taken the 101 freeway up to Hollywood Hills.

She made a quick detour when she knew she’d been driving the way to Matt and Bre’s, knowing Alex’s new house was a few minutes away from there. It would be bad if she went there empty handed, and she really needed an excuse to ease into whatever the conversation would turn out to be.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! She cursed over and over in her mind as she got off the freeway onto Hollywood Boulevard and went to the first grocery store she could find.

Two bottles of Pinot Noir later, Ella rushed back into her car and pulled up Alex’s new address—luckily he’d sent it to her with days in anticipation for her to know how much time it’d take her to get there on Saturday.

Merely fifteen minutes it took her to finally pull up into Alex’s driveway and when she put her car in park, her hands started shaking. She really had to clutch tightly onto the necks of the wine bottles not to drop them, one on each hand with her bag forgotten somewhere inside her car. In the haste to walk up to his front door she’d just grabbed her car keys and the wine bottles.

After having come all the way there, Ella rushed herself to ring the doorbell. There was no fucking way she was going to psych herself out of it when she was already there. Though going back inside her car and dashing back home to drink the wine alone as she cried over how much of a pussy she was being deep inside sounded very tempting.

But there was no chance for her to decide on taking that route for the front door opened and a sweaty and surprised Alex greeted her with the biggest of smiles.

Despite the house coming furnished for him to move in straight away, Alex had spent the entire day making it feel like home. Taking it upon himself to do some cleaning around and putting some clothes away that he knew he’d have to pack up again to leave back on tour, but he’d wanted to feel settled already.

As he’d been filling the drawers of his dresser with trousers and jeans, he remembered there were many things he needed to go through with his plan of the perfect way to finally tell Ella everything, and so he’d left his suitcase half unpacked and gone to the grocery store to buy everything he’d need to cook her a lovely dinner.

He knew he was going to try cooking her favorite pasta, making it a candlelit dinner and just giving it the old romantic fool to pour his heart and soul out for her. Like she deserved to get after all this time. There was no way he was leaving her again without properly trying to push their relationship in the direction he’d been longing for so long.

And Alex was planning on doing it all tonight, to give her a call and ask her to please join him that night, he was thinking he would probably tell her to come over a day early to give her that tour he’d promised. If he wanted this to work out, it couldn’t be hours before everyone else was due to come over.

But it seemed like she had beat him to it, bringing wine with her as well.

“Ella!” His eyes were wide and so was his toothy grin. Seeing her in front of him again flooded his system with relief, a feeling that escaped him when he saw the color drain from her face and the clear anxiety on her face. “Hi, darling. I wasn’t expecting you here today. Y’alright?”

Damn him and his ability to read her so easily. She stumbled through her thoughts, shaking her head and taking half a step backwards as she said, “Sorry, I-” What was she meant to say? How would she even begin the conversation?

Her gaze fell down to the wine bottles and she remembered why she’d gotten them in the first place, “Ermmmm, are you busy? I brought a gift…” She looked up at him and gave him a smile, moving the bottles up and showing them to him.

The joy she felt when seeing him in person just a few feet away from her was genuine, and she thought that was why he hadn’t questioned it. Alex gave her a tooth rotting sweet smile as he cooed, “Ah you’re so sweet.” and waved her inside, opening the front door wider and inviting her inside the new place, “Come in.”

Ella’s stomach flipped at the thought of what was about to happen and suddenly the excuse of bringing the wine as a gift felt like a mistake. “Actually, I–” She wanted to be sick. All the words she had been thinking about saying for the past twenty four hours rose up her throat and she was trying to hold back the impending word vomit.

“Fuck.” She cursed under her breath as she only took a few steps inside the house. There wasn’t even a moment for her to take in the beauty of the place since the second she heard the door closing behind her, she turned to Alex and gave him an awkward smile to let him know, “Erm, I wasn’t planning on staying long.”

His brows shot up and he smirked, amused at the sudden change in behavior. He still found her so fucking endearing, she was like a little mouse trapped in a corner by a predator. “You just drove over an hour to bring me a bottle of wine and leave me to drink it alone?” He knew the traffic must’ve been awful on the way here, and he wasn’t letting her go without getting an explanation for the way she was acting.

A few beats of silence passed before she answered, “Yes?” the inflection of her voice going up so her affirmation sounded like a question.

If she wasn’t gonna say it without being explicitly asked, then fine, he would ask. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She hastily replied, way too fast to appear normal. She winced, holding her breath for a few seconds before reiterating, shaking her head and chuckling dryly at herself, “Nothing! Sorry, this is stupid.”

“Ella.” Alex said a bit more sternly then, “What’s going on?”

Her eyes met his and she watched the determination he had to get an answer. She couldn’t turn back anymore, there was no chance she could lie her way out of this one, to give him some white lie that he’d believe was the reason for her awkwardness.

It was right then, it just had to be done. Taking a deep breath, she started, “Okay, erm… I gotta tell you something.” Alex frowned and opened his mouth to speak but she got ahead of him and pleaded with him, “But please let me finish before you say anything, okay?” She would burst out crying and lose her ability to speak if he was to cut in the middle of the flood of words that she knew was coming soon.

But the singer was starting to worry and his amused smirk was long gone, exchanged for a deep frown and distress clear in those brown eyes of his, “What’s happened?”

“Alex.” Ella said in a sigh, begging silently for him to do what she was asking for. Before she could make a run for the door and escape, leaving it all a mess behind her.

Alex pressed his lips together and nodded, “Sorry, go on.”

“No, don’t apologize.” She was the one to frown this time, her chest felt so tight and it was getting uncomfortable. “Okay, fuck.” Every word she’d rehearsed was slipping away from her mind, and in its place a knot of thoughts stayed. Knot that if she didn’t manage to untangle in the next minute, she’d start crying out of frustration at herself. “Wait.”

Alex nodded, willing to wait as she gathered herself to start saying whatever it was that was bothering her. He had no idea what it was but he was already thinking of ways to help her. There were only so many solutions he could come up with when he didn’t know the situation, “Is everything okay? What can I do? Do you need my help with anything?”

“No. I–” She started, but before she could continue trying to ask for some more time to think about it, Alex spoke again.

“Then what’s wrong, darling?” It was so sickeningly sweet, the way he walked up closer to her and reached his hand out to grab hers, the way his brows furrowed even more but that look in his eyes prevailed, the one that she’d started to read like something close to devotion.

She couldn’t get a grasp on her logic anymore, and her words escaped her in a loud manner that made him freeze in his place, “I’m tired!”

Alex was beyond confused, a quiet “What?” leaving his lips in a split second.

But Ella’s eyes started filling up with tears when she continued, “I’m so exhausted from this, Alex!”

Completely forgetting what he’d promised just a few seconds before, Alex went ahead and tried to ask for an explanation, “What do you–?”

Ella interrupted him before he could finish the question, giving him the explanation he was looking for with a passion that burned her insides, “This! All of this! The cruel back and forth that leaves me confused.”

She just needed to let it all out now, and that she’d do. Not that she could control the way her mouth moved ahead of her brain, words leaving her before she could even process her own thoughts, “I don’t want you to go again because I feel like my heart’s being ripped out of my chest every time and, fuck, I’m in love with you and I was so close to telling you that after the festival but then you had to leave. And then just two days later, you’re seen with Alexa in New York and everyone is talking about how ‘the IT couple is back’ and mentioning me in some stupid article just to completely disregard me like I’m some disposable thing to you, so that they could go on and on about you and her.”

Her voice broke by the end, remembering everyone’s excited words when it came to talking about the possibility of them two getting back together. She hated it, she really hated how badly it got her so she let it out too, “And I hate it! I fucking hate it! ‘Cause I just want you to be around but you can’t and it fucking hurts. All the damn time. But I’m never brave enough to just fucking tell you.”

Tears rolled down her cheeks, hot trail from the corners of her eyes down to her neck, she ignored them as best as she could to continue with her rant, “But now you’ve moved here and it’s too real, and I was scared of letting you know how stupidly in love I am with you but I just can’t lose you to somebody else again.”

She huffed as she shook her head, like a child showing her determination on the matter, “So I have to risk it. I have to risk getting rejected, ruining our friendship, losing you entirely and I–”

A sob managed to rip through her at the thought of this being the last time she’d see him, of everything ended like this, “I don’t wanna lose you but I can’t keep it to myself any longer. And I’m sorry but I just–” The words tangled on the tip of her tongue then, the avalanche of words abruptly ending after all of that.

Alex was breathless, his chest heaving as he stared at her with wide eyes, his mouth agape and his throat dry. He could barely muster the soft, “Ella, I–” he let out.

But he didn’t say anything else, he just stared at her with his brows furrowed like he was confused and it all dawned on her.

It had been such a mistake to do it like this, she’d needed to think it through properly and not throw herself into it as if she had a way with words, as if she could make it cute and nice and enchant him with an improvised speech.

It had been a mess and it was all fucking ruined. “No. Don’t.” She shook her head, not even wanting to meet his gaze anymore. “Oh fuck, this was so stupid.” She wanted to hit her head against the wall, to smash the bottles she was still holding in her hands, “I’m so stupid.” She cried out loud before shaking her head again and sniffling, breathing deeply and trying to swallow the knot in her throat.

She managed to look up, the singer looked blurry through her tear filled eyes. She was glad she couldn’t really make up his face then so she took a step up to him and pushed the bottles towards his chest, “This is pathetic. Just take the wine.” But he didn’t even try to make the effort to receive the bottles so pressed her lips together as she silently cried even more, turning on her heels to walk up to his kitchen island and leave the wine there.

In a hurry, she started walking back towards the front door, shaking her head once again as she tried to think of how badly it had gone but it was all blurry. Yet, Alex’s silence was enough to know it had gone terribly wrong.

“I’ll see you on Sunday if you even wanna keep me on the guest list.” She mumbled, almost by the door, but he quickly walked up to her, his hand stretching out to what she thought was opening the door for her. She watched the sleeves of his shirt rolled up to his elbows and she cried to herself again in frustration. How could it have gone so wrong? “Sorry. You probably were busy, doing stuff and–”

But instead of his fingers wrapping around the handle of the door, they wrapped around her wrist to turn her around, so she could see the wicked smile on his face as he asked, “Why now?”

She was fucking trying not to audibly sob and he was smirking at her? Ella narrowed her eyes as she asked, “Pardon?”

“Why now?” He repeated his question but that smirk only tugged further on the corners of his mouth and that to Ella only meant he was making fun of her. Suddenly, the heartbreak was mixing with rage and all she could do about it was run away. So she tugged away from his grasp, her arm slipping away from his hold but he was fast to catch her wrist again as he sternly said, “No, Ella.”

She thrashed again, trying to pull away from his hold, “Alex, please let me go.” Another wave of tears flooded her eyes.

But he shook his head and he sounded breathless when he replied, “No. Just give me a second.”

Ella scoffed, pulling hard enough to escape his hold again, but this time her gaze was harsher and her words sounded venomous, “Why? So you can let me down easy and send me back home? So you can exchange me for another one of your models like you’ve done before?”

Alex ignored the way her words stung, taking a big step towards her and cupping her neck with his right hand to make her look at him. Her eyes brimmed with angry tears broke his heart and the way she was staring at him with rage that was almost palpable had him pressing his fingers a bit tighter around her neck.

Her mouth opened with a gasp at the pressure and he smirked. His left hand came up to wipe away a tear that rolled down her cheek before it could fall down to rest on her waist, where he clutched her tightly and pressed her against him.

His tongue poked out in between his lips to lick them softly, and he smiled even harder when he saw her gaze fall on his mouth. He was almost drooling at the thought of tasting her mouth again, but this time it’d be so much better with everything out in the open, with his heart out for her to finally take in her hands, because it had been hers for so long she just had to hold it close to her chest.

He shook his head softly, denying the things she’d said were about to happen. He wanted to scream out of happiness, cheer and celebrate finally being able to say it out loud for her to hear, “So I can process that this isn’t just another one of my dreams and tell you that I fucking love you too.”

Without giving Ella a second to properly react to his words, Alex caught her lips between his and their mouths melted in a kiss that contrasted so much to the ones they’d shared before. Because it was raw and with a passion that they’d been trying to hide for so long finally revealed. It was needy and devoted, their fingers clutching onto each other tightly and harshly, almost sure they’d be leaving marks but nothing sounded more fulfilling.

They could finally bare themselves to the other, proudly wear the fact that they were each other’s like a medal. Loud moans slipped from their mouth as the knowledge ringed in their heads. They kissed harder, deeper, running out of breaths.

“Alex…” Ella panted as she pulled back, trying to get some oxygen back in her lungs as fast as she could, the need to have his mouth on hers too intense to even give her body what it needed to survive.

All she needed was him. Only him.

“Ella…” Alex whispered back, his forehead pressing against hers with his eyes closed, just taking in the proximity—the way they were taking each other’s breaths, the brush of their noses as they gasped for air.

“Don’t stop.” She begged, her eyes opening to see him and plead with them as well as with her words, “Please.”

His eyes fluttered open, being met with her green eyes that made him weak in the knees. “Never.” He mumbled back. She had him entirely at his mercy, he would do anything she asked and more.

Alex pounced on her lips again with desperation. He leaned in, sucking the air out of her mouth, licking away any remaining sanity. Her lungs burned. Greedy, his hands fell down her body until he grabbed her ass. He gave it a harsh squeeze, eliciting a moan out of her, before clutching the backs of her thighs and swiftly picking her up off the ground.

A squeal fell from her lips when he lifted her and she wrapped her legs around his hips quickly. She whimpered at the feeling of his hardening cock brushing her already aching core. He walked backwards blindly, cursing under his breath as she rolled her hips into him, begging for friction. She let a delighted giggle out, kissing him harsher.

Ella’s arms wrapped around his neck, fingers running up his hair and pulling on the longer strands. She swallowed the groan that rumbled through his chest at the feeling of her nails scratching his scalp and tugging his hair. His steps got quicker then and he only stopped when he felt the edge of the settee against the back of his legs.

Sitting down carefully, he settled on the settee with Ella straddling him. His growing bulge was even more obvious then, and she let her legs spread a bit more so she’d be deliciously pressed against his hardness.

“Fuck, Ella,” was his first reaction, breathy and solemn from his lips. She nodded, finding his mouth again, already addicted.

The brush of his tented jeans on her clothed clit felt heavenly, her own denim shorts only adding to the way the friction was making her increasingly dizzy. She had to break the kiss to gasp loudly. A cheeky grin teased his mouth, only to be wiped away for a moan as she rolled her hips. His hands dug at her thighs, encouraging her, guiding her.

Ella tried to catch her breath, but it was knocked out of it at the sight of Alex. Pupils blown, lips swollen, hair disheveled. They were panting, both stuck with the dilemma of not knowing if they should elongate the moment or hurry to the point they had been waiting so long for.

It had been barely eleven days since that cowboy party, and not even once had Alex stopped thinking about it. Not when he closed his eyes and he could still feel her fingers all over his body, the way she pressed against him and taunted him with the move of her hips, the taste of her lips and her tongue and the bruises she sucked on his skin.

But now he finally had her, and his expression which had been contorted in utter pleasure softened for adoration. He brought his hand up to brush a strand of her hair behind her ear, cupping her cheek right after. She leaned into his touch with a loopy smile, kissing his palm, her hips slowing down to an unhurried pace.

“You’re so beautiful.” The words came out soft, his breath hitting her parted lips as he leaned in again and they met in the middle for another kiss.

She cupped his jaw and wrapped an arm around his neck, pushing herself flush against him as she followed the pace he’d set for the dizzying kiss they were sharing. Her hips picked up speed again, making them moan into each other's mouth.

His quiet whimpers and moans were driving her mad. She just couldn’t wait to hear him properly, once and for all, coming undone for her.

Alex grabbed a handful of her ass, kneading her flesh harshly with his fingers, making her roll her hips rougher against him. Her mouth went slack at the pleasure rippling through her.

“Shit.” Ella shuddered, letting her head drop and moaning into his neck. She started a trail of sloppy open mouthed kisses there, her hands working through the buttons of his shirt until it was completely open and she had more skin to kiss.

She went back to kiss his lips first, but she rushed through it. Now that she had all that skin available, she was going to make sure to mark every inch of him so everyone knew he was hers.

She made her way down his jaw, his neck and even going behind his ear, enjoying a certain spot that had him bucking his hips up and breathlessly moaning. It wasn’t until she was sucking the skin on his collarbone that she knew she’d hit the jackpot. When she started marking up the place at the base of his neck, he let out a loud groan that made her smile.

She let go of the skin there, giving the soft red mark a peck to then look up at him, “You liked that, yeah?” Her smirk was big and proud on her face, already enjoying the way he’d become putty in her hands this easily.

“Yes. Fuck, Ella, I like everything you do to me.” Her hips rolled once more, him meeting the movement by thrusting upwards. “Especially that. God, darling, I fucking love it.” She chuckled, quicking her pace.

She peppered kisses on his collarbone again, smirk brushing his skin. “And do you love that?” She teased, trailing a hot tongue on his red skin. His chest rose and fell against her mouth.

“Yeah, but–” She nipped gently at his skin and he jumped, thrusting up into her. “Shit. But–” Ella hummed, encouraging him to go on like her wicked tongue wasn’t actively doing the contrary. Finally, Alex grew desperate, missing the feeling of her lips on his so he grabbed her by the neck, calloused fingers pressing tightly on its sides to pull her back up to meet his mouth.

Teeth clashed, as the air grew hotter around them, the kiss was messy and the smacking of their wet lips echoed inside his living room. Their hips went faster, meeting in the middle every time with a growing desperation, looking for relief until she stopped.

Ella hummed into his mouth before breaking the kiss again, “Let’s go to your room.” She needed more, so much more than just dry humping him over their clothes.

Her suggestion was met with an eager Alex, who wasted no time grabbing her by the ass and rushed through the hallway to go up to his room. Her smile was impossibly wide, he could feel it on his neck where she was hiding, leaving a few pecks as he walked up to the bedroom.

Alex didn’t even know how he had gotten to his room so quickly, barging through the door but taking his time to set her on the bed softly. And their lips met once again, it was a bruising kiss filled with urgency.

Yet, for the first time in their lives, they were in no danger of running out of time.

They’d finally said the words they’d been wanting to say and heard the ones they’d been waiting to hear. They had all the time in the world. Every minute of every day for as long as they wanted, and just from the way they were kissing, it seemed like forever was the only option.

Ella’s legs wrapped around his waist after Alex took her shoes off blindly, and she dug her feet on his ass to make his hips press against her throbbing cunt once more. He started rolling his hips then, thrusting into her and the kiss only got sloppier. She was growing breathless as he pressed his hardening cock against her clothed clit. Their moans grew louder, needier.

His hands started wandering, going from cupping her face down her neck and chest until they rested on each side of her waist. His fingers started fiddling with the edges of her shirt and they snaked beneath the fabric of it, slowly lifting it up. “This okay?” He asked, out of breath. She didn’t answer; instead, she pushed herself up enough for him to take it off her with ease.

The piece of clothing was lost somewhere on his bedroom floor, thrown away carelessly as his entire focus was on admiring her figure, exposed all for him.

Her black bra hugged her tits perfectly and when she let herself fall back down on the bed, they looked as if they were about to spill out of the bra. If Ella had anticipated her confession would’ve ended in this, she would’ve worn something much nicer—she cringed at the thought of the plain and simple black thong she was wearing—but it didn’t matter to Alex for he was jaw dropped at the sight of her.

“Fucking hell,” He mumbled before dipping his head to kiss a path over the valley of her breasts, his tongue coming out to lick her skin in a painfully slow pace. Her back arched as she moaned when he bit on the top of one of her tits. She got louder and squirmed even more when he repeated his actions on the other one.

“And this is all mine?” Alex asked breathlessly, eyes now on hers and she nodded with a loopy smile, her cheeks flushed from everything that was happening. “I’m so lucky.” He couldn’t wait to see her naked, to devote himself to giving every inch of her the attention she deserved.

His hand snaked between her back and the mattress, and there he found the clasp of the bra. With apt fingers he undid it and slowly peeled off the piece of clothing off Ella’s body. His breath hitched at the sight of her bare chest, her hardened nipples making his mouth water. “You’re killing me. You’re actually trying to kill me.” She flushed slightly, secretly pleased.

He couldn’t wait any longer to have his mouth on them. Flattening his tongue, he dipped his head to give a bold lick to one of her nipples, pointing the tip of his tongue to start flicking it. Ella squirmed beneath him, whimpering and moaning at the taunting touch. Her hand came to cradle his head, moving slowly up until she could tangle her fingers in his hair just as he latched his lips around her nipple and started sucking eagerly.

“Shit, Alex.” Ella managed in between gasps as he alternated between sucking and flicking.

He smirked at the sight of her, wanting to ruin her even more. So he let go of her nipple with a pop before he bit it.

A mewl fell from her lips at the pain his teeth inflicted on her sensitive nipple, her hips rolled in search of relief but he had her pinned down with the way his body was resting on top of her. She needed more of him, her cunt throbbed and leaked with arousal with everything he did.

“Alex!” And it came out as half a beg, half an order. Alex nodded against her, undeterred. Her need for more only got more intense when he started sucking bruises on her tits, biting and sucking and drinking in all the sweet sounds she let out as the pain of his abuse on her skin sizzled into dizzying pleasure.

“So good for me,” he promised. “Taking it all.” His tongue came to lick the blooming love bites, pecks on top of sore skin before he moved onto her other tit. Smirking proudly when she was just as responsive to his actions as she had been before. “So pretty. The best fucking girl with the best fucking tits.”

And he wouldn’t stop until she was whining in a high pitch. The sounds she made were music to his ears, only wanting to keep getting them out of her, “Alex. More. I need more.” She managed in between moans. She was clenching around nothing and it frustrated her, she loved what he was doing to her but she had a half mind to take over everything and let herself have her way with him just like she wanted already.

“Say please,” he singsung.

Desperate, “Please.”

“Soon,” Alex breathed, continuing his tantalizing trail of kisses and half hearted bites down her chest and stomach, smirking as he watched her through his lashes. Ella huffed and pushed him off her. He fell onto his back and she wasted no time to straddle him.

His shirt was still messily on him, barely hanging on his shoulders and becoming a burden more than anything. She grabbed onto his collar to pull him up until he sat on the mattress. Once his chest was pressed flush against hers, Ella pushed the shirt off him and tossed it behind her onto the floor.

Alex watched the way her eyes darkened with lust and mischief, a wicked smirk pulling at the corners of her mouth as her fingers moved slowly up his chest, brushing his shoulders and neck until she cupped his jaw with both her hands and pressed her lips on his. “My turn,” she said gleefully, kissing him again. Alex laughed, though indulged her.

Feeling his bare chest under her fingertips as she licked into his mouth made her patience run thin, she couldn’t keep kissing him without continuing to bruise his skin. The sight of the bruises she’d left on his neck a few minutes before made her mouth water with the need to leave more.

Ella got drunk off the whimpers and shaky moans Alex let out as she sucked harshly on his skin, his hips bucking every time she sunk her teeth into his flesh. He was a mess, clawing at the sheets as she abused his skin, and she fucking loved it. “I want to ruin you,” she revealed.

“Yeah?”

Making her way down with wet open mouthed kisses, she got right below his navel where his happy trail started and came down until it disappeared beneath his clothes. She licked a bold strip up the hair there, smirking when he cried out in pleasure and thrusted upwards so his bulge hit her tits.

“I want you to fucking beg.”

She left more kisses along the edge of his jeans, making him bite on his bottom lip to stop himself from being too loud. But that was exactly what she wanted, so she latched onto a patch of his skin there and started sucking harshly until his fingers came to tangle in her hair and pulled her off him.

He would definitely cum in his pants if she continued teasing him like that.

“Do you trust me?” She asked sweetly, batting her lashes at him. Putting on the innocence act to have him say yes to what she wanted to do. Not that she needed it, because he’d do anything she wanted now that he had her like this.

His mind was a mess and his words failed him so he only nodded. She tutted and shook her head as she started crawling up his body until their noses brushed and they couldn’t look anywhere else but into each other’s eyes.

“Words, baby.” She whispered, her voice low and sultry making him groan before nodding again.

This time his nod was accompanied by, “I do. I trust you.”

Ella hummed in satisfaction, and she turned her head slightly to the side to kiss the palm of his hand, which was still holding her head with his fingers tangled in the strands of her hair.

But for what she wanted to do, she needed him to drop his hold on her. So she held onto his wrist to pull his hand away and she peeled herself off and away from him.

His gaze followed her intently as she got off the bed and stood at the side of it, slowly undoing the button and zip of her shorts and pulling them down, making a whole show of undressing that only made Alex grow achingly harder inside his jeans.

His breath hitched in his throat seeing her like that, almost entirely bare for him. “You’re so fucking gorgeous,” he whispered. She grinned. She swayed her hips a little as she hooked her fingers on the edge of her underwear and without breaking eye contact, she shed herself of the last piece of clothing that kept herself hidden from him.

Alex whined from the back of his throat. “You’re not real. You were made to be my downfall.”

“Yes,” Ella agreed. To ruin him, to unravel him. Fully naked, she came back on the bed to straddle him again. Her slick core brushed against his bulge over his jeans and she smirked harder at the way he reacted, a whine leaving his lips, hips bucking up as his hands held her hips tightly, pressing her against him and keeping her there as she slowly rolled her hips on him. “I’ll make you fall, Alex.”

“You already have.” She smiled, raking a hand through his hair. His lips part, a quiet moan on his lips.

Ella loved the view she had, Alex fully at her mercy. She just couldn’t believe her luck; after all those years of thinking and fantasizing about it, she could finally have him like this.

“You look so pretty like this.” Her thumb rubbed at his cheek as she cupped it, leaning in until their breaths mixed together. Her fingers slowly moved down his face until she could wrap her fingers around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

Their lips met hungrily again, Alex had her naked on top of him and he wanted nothing more than take his jeans and underwear off and fuck her senseless, but Ella had other plans.

Her lips left his mouth to start kissing all over his face, each peck followed by some type of praise that he was loving. “Beautiful.” Smack. “Talented.” Smack. “Smart.” Smack. “Loving.” Smack. His heart swelled in his chest, the contrast between her shameless lustful behavior and the sweet words she kept uttering had him dazed. “And that nose,” she teased. With one last peck on his lips which Alex tried to elongate, Ella found his gaze and with the sweetest voice, asked him, “Can I ride your pretty face?”

His breath staggered hearing that, his cock twitching in his pants at the thought of what was about to happen. He nodded quickly like he had just a few seconds to answer before the offer was gone, and he added a breathless please when he remembered her telling him to use his words.

That was enough of a greenlight for Ella to push herself up on her knees and start shuffling up his body until she’d been hovering over his face. She would’ve kissed him once more if she wasn’t desperate to feel his mouth on her cunt already, if she wasn’t dripping and throbbing for his touch.

Alex’s lips parted at the sight of her slick cunt practically begging for him to latch his mouth on her. His hands ran up her thighs slowly until he rested them on her hips and he guided her a bit further up on the bed so her knees caged his head in place.

He was almost drooling, already imagining how sweet she’d taste on his tongue. But despite the growing burning need to lick up her folds already, he started kissing up the insides of her thighs, sucking and biting the skin like she now knew he loved to do and making her whimper and squirm in his hold.

There seemed to be no hurry in his mind, repeating the actions in that same agonizing pace on her other leg. By the time he got incredibly closer to her sopping cunt and her legs started to tremble from the teasing, she was ready to tell him off for it. She felt the way his hot breath left from so close to her core, a frustrated whimper fell from her lips.

Just when Ella looked down with a frown and her hand came down to tangle in his hair, he craned his neck up to lick a bold strip up her folds, wrapping his lips around her clit once he licked past her entrance.

He hummed at her taste, using his hands to pull her closer to his mouth just as he taunted, “Come closer, darling. You taste so fucking good.”

Without wasting more time, he started flicking his tongue up and down, her slick already dripping down his chin and mixing with his spit as he lapped and lapped like he was starved.

One of his hands left her hip and came down to her cunt, to spread her open so he could properly suck her clit, the pressure of it making her get louder and start pulling on his hair to bring him closer to her. “Need you. Fuck, Alex, keep doing that.”

He fucking loved it, the reaction only pushed him to getting more out of her. By that point, he was humping the air in search of some kind of relief. Her moans only made him drip in his jeans but he had no time to feel embarrassed at the pace in which he was ruining his pants, not when he had her sweetness all over his face.

He moved down, two fingers spreading her folds as he pointed his tongue and he started dipping it inside her sopping hole. Her back arched, breath hitching in her throat, “Fuck, yes Alex–” She could just keep saying his name as he started fucking her with his tongue, broken gasps and high pitched moans slipped past her lips and only got louder and more desperate when he started moving his head, causing his nose to flick at her clit with every thrust of his tongue inside her.

It was all so much. Not only what he was doing to her but the whole scene, it was so much better than she could’ve ever imagined and as he continued working his tongue in and out of her before lapping up at her arousal only to end up with him flicking and sucking on her clit, Ella was sure she wouldn’t last much longer.

“Oh God, oh God.” Ella rolled her hips on his face, grabbing her own breast and playing with the nipple. Pleasure rushed through her. “Fuck, Alex, you’re–”

The mix of her arousal and his spit was already dripping down his neck by the time he teased one of his fingers into the cunt. His mouth left her clit and the hot breath that came from it along with his gasp as her hole swallowed his finger with ease made her even more of a whining mess. “��Perfect,” she finally finished, though with much difficulty. “You’re perfect.”

He curled his finger inside her before drawing it back and the loss of the slight fullness had Ella crying out loud. So at the same time as he wrapped his lips around her clit again, he pushed two fingers inside her, curling them and making her legs shake and her hips rut as she leaned forward and held onto his headboard with a white knuckled grip.

The feeling of his skilled fingers curling inside her and his mouth sucking harshly on her clit made Ella erratically grind her hips against his face. “Alex! Yes! Yes!” She chanted breathlessly, every one of his actions stealing the breath from her lungs. She felt her orgasm so fucking close, her brain melted and every one of her filthy thoughts left her, “God, I fucking love your mouth! So eager, so greedy. Lapping at me like you’re starved, like you need me. It was made for me. Made to be between my thighs.” A throaty and long hum came from him, that vibrated against her and made her squeal in pleasure.

So he did it again, and again, along with picking up the pace with his fingers. “Made to worship me,” Ella blabbered on, mindless. “All perfect and hot and– Fuck, Alex–” The combination of it all threw Ella over the edge.

Profanities along with his name was all that he could hear from her as she came all over his mouth and face. Despite the tremble of her legs and the stuttering of her hips as she came, he didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop, not when he looked up at her and saw how fucking stunning she looked as she came. Her chest flushed and her tits bouncing as she rutted on his face, her mouth agape and brows scrunched up in pleasure, hair a mess falling on her shoulder and sticking to the sides of her face as a thin coat of sweat glazed her skin.

Riding out her high with that in mind, Alex kept his unrelenting pace until it made Ella’s knees weak and she had to be the one to pull him away from her cunt before she fell on his face and smothered him.

It wasn’t like Alex wouldn’t say that was the best way to go.

“That nose,” she cursed, shaking her head.

Her chest was heaving as she struggled to shuffle down his body, while he was hypnotized with how good she looked all fucked out. “I want to do that again. And again. And again. For the rest of my fucking life.” Ella chuckled at his words, still shortwinded. “I’m serious. I want that view forever.”

“Oh my– Fuck, c’mere,” Ella wrapped her hand around his neck as she looked at him, her cum all over his face. She hastily leaned in to kiss him and when she tasted herself, a loud moan came from her. It rumbled through her chest and she only got more desperate when she settled her hips on his and felt him rock hard in his jeans.

Her head spinned as a new wave of arousal flooded her system, as if she hadn’t just cum all over his face a few seconds before.

Sticking her tongue out, she lapped at the mess that had dripped down his neck. Lewd noises came from her as she tasted herself on his skin and when she got to his jaw, she wiped his chin with her thumb and brought it up to his mouth for him to suck. A smirk broke on her face when his wet swollen lips wrapped around her finger, eyes rolling back into his head and humming as he tasted the last bits of her arousal.

She admired him for a few seconds, her thumb brushing against his lips while she cupped his jaw and her other hand went up to brush his hair back. “See, I knew you were beautiful but you look even prettier with my cum all over your face.”

His cock twitched in his pants, her praises making him harder than he thought he could get from just words, but she was just so stunning like this, taking complete control over him and making a mess of him. He’d never considered himself submissive but fucking hell wouldn’t he willingly put himself at her mercy every time if that was what she wanted. The filthy words she’d been saying as she rode his face came to the forefront of his mind and he couldn’t help but point out the contrast between them and her sweet praise, it was just like the contrast of her sweet shy self and the Ella he was seeing now.

“God, you couldn’t be more perfect,” he whispered, barely registering the words left his mouth.

His hips bucked once again and his face fell into a pained expression when he brushed against her cunt. Ella pouted at the look on his face, feeling just how fucking hard he was and how he must be aching in those jeans, so she leaned in to peck his lips before saying softly, “Let me take care of you, yeah?” Alex whimpered when she rolled her hips once more as he nodded at her words. Again, she teased, “Words?”

“Please.”

“So polite.” He caught a glimpse of her smirk while she busied herself into kissing down his jaw and neck, down his chest until she was facing his bulge. With deft fingers, she undid the button and tugged down the zip, her fingers hooked on the edge of the denim to start peeling it off him and she smiled when he lifted his hips up to let her take them off him.

Alex was slightly relieved from the partial freedom, sighing as she kissed back up his chest and met his lips once more. But when she started rolling her hips slowly on his again, he knew that she was teasing him and he didn’t know how much of that he could take.

“Ella, please.” He mumbled in a broken moan when her hips rolled again.

Their lips brushed when she asked, “What do you want, baby?” Her hips stopped so he could form a coherent answer to her question.

Alex felt like he would explode at any second, so he just shook his head as he peeled his eyes open and stared into her eyes, “Anything. Just need you, darling.”

Biting her bottom lip, Ella took in every detail of his face. She sighed heavily before kissing him again. Leave it to him to sweet talk her into considering not teasing him and give him exactly what he wanted.

She could find some middle ground, so she enjoyed the slow trail of her mouth kissing down his chest and licking over the bruises she’d left there already. And she especially enjoyed hearing him whimper when she finally got to the band of his boxers and all she did was leave open mouthed kisses along it.

Taking some pity on Alex, Ella thought it had been enough taunting so she brought his boxers down, his hard cock springing free and slapping against his belly. He was swollen and heavy, red tip already leaking so much precum and her mouth watered at the sight, wanting nothing more than to take him in her mouth and gag on it but the need to continue teasing him a bit more was far stronger.

She moved back up to face him and he was about to complain but all the words died in his throat when she grabbed his chin and turned his head to the side so he could face her and said, “Spit in my mouth.” before parting her lips and sticking her tongue out for him to spit on.

“Fucking hell, Ella.” Alex cursed under his breath. He was sure she’d been made for him, this was something he hadn’t seen coming but fucking hell didn’t it make him want to kiss her lips until they were bruised and make her cum over and over until she couldn’t move out of bed. There was this animalistic need to give her everything he could give, until he could satiate the need of her.

Ella rolled her eyes and dug her fingers harshly into his face as if to hurry him and he snapped out of his trance to cup her jaw firmly, spitting into her mouth just like she’d requested. She hummed and closed her eyes in bliss when she felt his warm spit coating her tongue, closing her mouth to swallow it.

“Do it again.” She said, stealing Alex’s air from his lungs all over again, his cock twitching and he felt a bead of precum leaking out of the tip.

He spat in her mouth again but this time she didn’t swallow it, she shuffled down the bed to come back beside his cock and wrap her fingers around it, spitting on it and letting the mixture of her and Alex’s saliva dribble down his length until it hit the duvet.

“You’re filthy,” he whined, and it sounded like a praise.

Her thumb rubbed on the tip of his cock, smearing the precum down his length and starting to stroke him up and down slowly. Her eyes admired the way his cock looked thrusting in and out her fist, throat going dry at the thought of how it’d look like as he fucked her, but then she looked up and saw him already a flushed panting mess and she couldn’t help but stopping her movements to taunt him.

Alex groaned at the loss of the friction her hand brought on him and out of desperation, he started thrusting up into her hand to resume the pleasure that it had brought him. Ella smirked and started moving again, a very slow pace to have him do most of the work. “That’s it, fuck my fist.”

He whimpered, leaking more and more of his salty arousal as his pleasure made him shudder and stop being able to keep his eyes open. All he could think of was cumming, so he picked up his pace, his hips meeting her fist every time he thrusted up, “Oh Ella– Fuck!”

She could only watch him with her mouth agape, almost drooling and her cunt throbbing and clenching around nothing at the sight. She had to press her thighs together to get some kind of alleviation. “Yes Alex, just like that. Is this how you fucked yours huh? Is this how you fucked your fist to my pictures?”

Alex was desperate to orgasm, her statement almost flying past him. His brows furrowed, concentrated in the rhythm he had set for himself but he grew confused as to how she knew that. “Wha– Ah fuck! Who told you that?”

She chuckled at his lack of denial, “Who do you think?” She giggled at herself, finding it amusing that she’d brought this up in such a situation.

A string of profanities left him, as he felt himself growing closer and closer to his orgasm. His hips started stuttering and she tutted, “No, you’re not cumming yet babe.” Her fist left his cock, coming to rest on the mattress and a massive smirk showed on her face when his eyes went wide open and he started complaining.

“But Ella– Please, let me–” He choked on his words when her thumb brushed on his tip again and she brought the finger up to her mouth to suck. “Please, darling. I need it. Need you.”

She hummed, satisfied with his growing desperation and making a show of swiping her thumb over the tip of his cock again and moaning loudly at his taste. He groaned in protest, but she shut him up with a hot kiss, smacking lips and teeth clashing for a minute until she felt him rubbing against her leg, dripping precum over her.

She left him with a peck, moving back down his body and once more, she grabbed his cock. This time not waiting before licking a bold strip from the base to the tip, sucking harshly on the head of his cock before letting it go with a pop when he whimpered loudly, “Tell me how bad you want it.”

He looked down at her and couldn’t do more than just curse under his breath, “Fuck, Ella.” He could bust right then and there just from the view.

Her breathy chuckle hit the tip of his cock and he whined, “That’s the spirit but not what I asked.”

Alex ached and he knew he had to listen to her if he wanted to get anything, “I want you so bad darling, your mouth–”

But Ella was enjoying this way too much so she teased him some more, her words coming out in a sing-song tone, “You’re missing the magic word.”

He rolled his eyes and threw his head back on the pillows, “Please darling, I want to fuck your mouth.”

A snort of laughter came from her, Alex groaned at the sound because he was on the verge of tears and begging for her to do something, anything. “Chivalry is truly not dead after all, huh?” She joked with a stupid smile on her face.

The singer would’ve laughed in any other situation but he was about to lose it, he couldn’t even use his hands because he was fisting the duvet so hard his fingers ached. “Stop teasing, Ella, please.”

She dared him then, “Oh, but I thought you liked teasing?” There was a clear memory of him stating that, and how it’d opened a can of worms that always came to the forefront of her mind when she touched herself to the thought of him.

She smirked again and taunted him by leaving a soft peck on the tip of his cock, making Alex cry out a pained, “Fuck me–”

Still teasing, Ella hummed and played with the meaning of his words in a nonchalant manner, “Maybe in a bit, if you’re good and listen to what I say.”

Despaired now, he didn’t mind begging at all, “I will, I will. I promise baby. Just– Please Ella, I need you. Need you so fucking bad.” The vein on the side of his neck protruded as he spoke in a haste.

Ella was more than satisfied with that and she breathily let him know what had been her plan all along, “Just like that, Alex. I want you desperate.”

And with that she took him in her mouth, inhaling deeply through her nose to take him as deep as she could. When he hit the back of her throat, Alex subconsciously thrusted into her mouth, moaning louder than he had anticipated, making her gag but moan back in response when she drew back enough to take a deep breath.

With her taking him to the back of her throat every time, hollowing her cheeks and bobbing her head up and down relentlessly, he started twitching in her mouth and squirming beneath her in a minute. Ella knew he was close and she would’ve loved to have him paint her throat with his cum but this time she wanted him inside her, to spill in her cunt and drip out of her like she’d fantasized about so many times before, so just as he started gasping and his hips started stuttering, she pulled back and left him hanging over the edge of climax.

“Ella–” He choked out as he felt the coil of pleasure that had been tensing and building up as he’d been buried deep in her mouth completely left him and all that was left was the uncomfortable feeling of a stolen orgasm.

“Wait, sweetness.” She said in an infuriatingly sweet tone, cupping his jaw as she stood beside the edge of the bed and kissing him softly before standing back up and saying, “I want to do something. Stay there.”

She turned on her heels and made her way to his walk-in closet, knowing she would be able to find something there if she were to look for it. But she'd only taken three steps into the room when she heard the movement back in his room. He had painfully sat himself on bed, back against the cold metal rods that formed his headboard, and he’d been debating whether or not to get himself off to relieve himself of the ache that washed over him when her voice hit him like a ton of bricks, a heavy demanding tone behind her words, “If you don’t listen to what I say, you’re not getting a single thing, Turner.”

Alex froze in his spot, his cock twitching at the dominating roll she was taking. He threw his head back and swallowed a groan. He hadn’t even cum and she’d already ruined him, there would never be another one but her.

He waited patiently, a minute passed and all he could hear were the drawers being opened and closed until he saw her come back into the bedroom with one of his ties on her right hand.

She smirked seeing him sitting in bed waiting for her. She cooed like it actually amazed her that he listened and got on the bed again, placing her knees on each side of his hips to straddle him. Her hand came up to cup his jaw and her thumb brushed soft circles on his skin before she praised him with a proud, “Good boy.”

She distracted him with a dizzying kiss, one that he indulged in with feverish eagerness until she pulled back and their lips separated with a smack, the sound was followed by her words which sounded more of a statement than a question, “I’m gonna tie you up, yeah?” He nodded quickly, his brain a mush and unable to even think about what it was that she wanted to do to him tied up to his headboard but he was willing to comply if it meant that she’d make him cum.

He didn’t even have time to complain or ask questions because her tits had been on his face while she tied his wrists avidly to the posts of the headboard and he’d been too busy biting and sucking on them.

She moaned when he caught one of her nipples in his mouth and sucked it. Despite the very nice distraction, she pulled on the knots she so expertly knew how to tie and grinned in satisfaction when seeing them hold his wrists perfectly for her.

Ella sat on his lap, feeling his cock still hard coming to touch her drenched cunt and brought her hand to his face when he hissed at the contact. “I know.” She said softly before kissing him softly and briefly. “Is this alright?” She needed to ask again, to make sure it wasn’t too much since she could see the way his eyes were glazed over with frustrated tears from the edging.

But Alex nodded with a loopy smile that she loved and all she could do was smirk, nothing but a mischievous look in her eyes.

A look that’d get a meaning when she spoke up again, “If you’re cumming anywhere today, it’s gonna be inside me, okay?”

Alex nodded despite the shock her words had given him, his mouth agape in surprise at her bluntness.

Her hand slowly crawled down his chest until she could wrap her fingers around his length, she watched with a parted mouth as he threw his head back at the contact and he muttered under his breath, “Fuck me…”

A bright grin broke on her face and she leaned in to lick his bottom lip before saying, “That’s exactly what I’m gonna do.”

Alex was left with his mouth parted in search of a kiss but oxygen left his lungs when she pulled back slightly to spit on his cock, her hand starting to pump him a handful of times before she lined him up with her sopping entrance. She knew it would be easy to sink into him with how wet she was and the mess she’d made of Alex.

Just to build on the last bits of anticipation, she brushed his cock up and down her cunt, shivering when he grazed her clit.

“Darling…” Alex breathed out in pain, hidden away in the crook of her neck as she teased his tip in her hole.

She hummed, acknowledging him and finally letting herself sink down on him. He tried his best to keep his eyes on her as her mouth went slack and a soft whimper left her at the stretch of his cock, but his gaze fell down to see where they connected and his eyes rolled back into his skull. He could just cum seeing himself buried balls deep inside her, snugging him so tightly and clenching around him as she slightly squirmed over him when adjusting her balance on her knees.

She cried out in pleasure right as she started moving, rolling her hips tentatively to set a starting pace. But she could barely get a hold of her own thoughts, all that went through her mind was how she could feel every ridge and vein, how he was making her brain melt inside her skull with the way he felt inside her, “Filling me up so good.”

Alex swore he was seeing stars with how she was squeezing him, how good she looked as her hips rolled with an increasing speed that would surely drive him to the edge in no time, “Fuck, you’re so tight–”

With every roll of her hips, her clit pressed against his pubic bone and offered her a delicious pressure that made her eyes roll back. Her gasps and moans got louder as she went faster and the melodies of their pleasured sounds turned into a pornographic harmony when Ella went from rolling her hips to bouncing on his cock.

Her tits bounced as she picked up the pace, her hands resting on his chest for leverage and her hair falling in front of her face as she leaned in and changed the angle slightly. Alex stared at Ella fucking herself on his cock and it was a scene that not even his dreams could amount to. Watching himself disappear inside her over and over, and feeling her slick dripping down his cock and making a mess of the bedsheets had him looking up at the ceiling for a few seconds, willing himself not to cum too fast, to last as long as he could so they could cum together.

“Is this how you imagined?” She teased.

“Better,” Alex swore, too gone to be anything but sincere. “You’re perfect. You’re– I couldn’t have made you up. I couldn’t have ever imagined– God, you’re everything I need, Ella.”

The sound of the skin slapping every time they met was loud so the shit she muttered under her breath was barely audible. Ella slowed down just a bit to stabilize herself with just her left hand on his chest, bringing her right hand up to his neck and wrapping her fingers deftly around it, “I’ve always wanted to do this with you.”

Her fingers pressed on the sides of his neck, choking him just the perfect way. Her ‘Pure Desire’ tattoo adorning his throat. It was a miracle how he didn’t cum from just her doing that, that lustful look on her face as she watched him gasp and choke on a whimper as her fingertips dug on the sides of his neck. It just made Alex want to fuck her harder, and it seemed like it had the same effect on her because she picked up her pace despite the burning of her thighs from the effort.

Alex met her in the middle with every bounce, thrusting his hips up into her and hitting the perfect spot for her. “Right there, right there! Alex!” She was growing breathless, barely able to pick her head up. She was starting to regret tying him up just a little, she wanted him to hold her and help her match his eager thrusts as she got closer to her orgasm.

Digging his heels on the mattress, Alex found the footing to quicken the pace, “Ella– fuck!” He groaned and moaned loudly, his mind reeling when his hearing was entirely overcome by the sounds of the skin slapping and Ella’s mewls and whines.

Ella gasped with every thrust, the coil in her lower stomach tightening impossibly each time he hit that sweet spot inside her and her grip on his neck got tighter as she clenched hard around him. Her legs started trembling more and more and then her orgasm hit her suddenly, blacking out her sight as she shook and spasmed on him, loud cries of his name accompanied the symphony.

Seeing Ella as she came again, hearing how she cried out his name and the way she squeezed his cock with her cunt, Alex came hard inside her. His thrusts became sloppy as he shivered and his cock twitched as he spilled and painted her walls with his cum. His hips stuttered as her tightness milked his cock relentlessly, but he still rocked his hips into her, meeting her slow messy pace as they both came down from their highs.

With her legs trembling, Ella just dropped against his chest, completely fucked off reality for a few minutes. All they could hear was each other’s breathing and their hearts beating in sync as their chests pressed against each other.

She wondered why Alex was keeping his touch away from her when she remembered she’d tied him up so she lifted her head up and brushed her hair back to reach out and undo his restraints with one pull of the end of the tie.

Alex groaned at the feeling of his arms plopping down beside his head, but he ignored the soreness of his limbs when he could finally brush her hair back from where it stuck to her sweaty face and cup her jaw to give her a sweet kiss he’d been craving to give her the whole time she was riding him.

Ella smiled into the kiss when she remembered all that had happened in a matter of a few minutes. She’d lost track of time entirely, not even able to point out how long it could’ve been since she’d showed up at his house to just tell him all that she’d been holding back.

The happiness that bubbled inside her filled her with warmth and a small burst of energy enough to have her peel herself off him to rest beside him in bed. She lifted herself off him and settled to his right with a soft whine at the loss of him. Alex turned to his side and cupped her face once more to give her a quick kiss before he pushed himself up and off the bed with a quick, “I’ll be right back darling.”

He got up and went to his ensuite to clean himself up, flashbacks of what had happened made his cock twitch again. He got a cloth and wet it with warm water, taking it with him to clean Ella up.

Her eyes lazily followed him as he came back into his room and up to her. His hands softly spread her legs out to clean up the mess in between her legs. His cum dripping out of her mixed with her own had Alex biting his bottom lip, a shaky breath out his nose before he cursed out loud, “Fuck me.” She whimpered at the touch of the cloth against her overstimulated center, and he kissed her softly as an apology, being careful to continue cleaning her up until she was rid of it all. He had made a mental note to stuff his cum back in her next time, see it dripping out of her over and over, fuck the cum inside her with his fingers or his cock.

Alex left to go back to the bathroom with that in mind, his blood rushing south again the more he imagined it all. When he went back to bed, he noticed Ella had thrown the ruined duvet on the floor and gotten under the sheets. And when he turned to see her, she made grabby hands at him. He chuckled at the contrast of her behavior throughout the night, but was quick to cuddle her into him.

They snuggled beneath the sheets, their legs tangling together as his arm snaked under her to wrap around her waist and holding her flush against him so she could rest her head on his chest. Throwing her arm across his middle to keep him close, Ella nuzzled her head into his chest and she melted against him.

With Alex rubbing circles on her waist, Ella was starting to fall asleep. It was still light outside, the sun still heating up the ground outside and the bright rays managing their way into the room through the thin curtains that covered the windows, but her eyes grew heavy and her breathing evened out as time passed.

That was until Alex sighed loudly out of the blue and cursed, “Well, fucking hell.”

Ella frowned, confused by his sudden choice of words, “What?”

But Alex had been replaying everything in his mind and he felt himself growing flustered and hotter the more he recalled, “You’re seriously asking what after that?”

She couldn’t help but blush, because how the fuck had she gone from crying and going on and on about how tired she was of silently wanting him yet losing him every time to riding his face, edging him twice to then tie him up and fuck the lights out of him.

So she hid her face behind her hands, not wanting Alex to see her face, which she knew had to be bright red.

“Oh don’t go all shy on me now, darling.” He played with her, a chuckle slipping past his lips. His fingers peeling her hands off her face, only to be followed by littering every bit of her face with kisses until she was giggling and cuddled back into him.

They laid there in silence, dropping sweet kisses and tracing patterns on each other’s skin. It was one of those comfortable silences that they’d developed ever since they grew back together during the recording of AM.

A silence that was shattered by Alex thinking out loud, “Now I know what it feels like…”

She snorted when hearing him trail off like that, because what would that even mean? He wasn’t a virgin. “Huh?” She frowned as she looked up at him, trying to hide her amusement by pursing her lips.

“To be that bull.” Alex simply stated, looking down at her with a growing smirk on his face.

She was even more confused then, “Bull? What bull?”

“The one from that pub when you broke the record.” He explained with an obvious tone in his voice.

Ella burst out laughing at the realization of what he was implying. As if her riding that mechanical bull for three minutes was anything near what they’d done just then. She shoved him by his shoulder, letting herself fall away from his hold still laughing, “Fucks sake Alex, you’re an idiot.”

He hooked his arms around her waist again and pulled her into him again, “What? Thought you were a proud cowgirl?”

But she shook her head in disbelief and hid in the crook of his neck, mumbling a halfhearted “Stop.” on his bruised skin.

“Nothing not to be proud of with how well you ride, darling.” The singer added, to which she pinched his side, making him jump and yelp aloud.

With a frown to conceal her amusement, Ella came out of her hiding place, narrowed eyes to help her threat resonate in his head, “I’m gagging you next time.”

Alex shook his head as he watched a smirk slowly breaking on her face, “You’d like that wouldn’t you?”

Her gaze dropped to his lips, picturing them all wet and swollen, wrapped around a gag, leather belt wrapped around the back of his head and tight on the skin of his face. That was a view she certainly would appreciate, “I’d love it.”

Love. Alex smiled at the word, remembering he finally could tell her, “I love you.” and have her know exactly what he meant.

Ella’s heart was almost bursting at its seams when he said that, saying “I love you.” back to him was the easiest thing she could ever do.

Staring at each other adoringly, a minute or two passed. He twirled a strand of her hair slowly with his fingers, counting each freckle on her skin and taking in every bit of her in this new setting.

“How long have you been holding that back?” He asked curiously, wanting to know how long she’d been agonizingly waiting to let all those words out. His chest hurt when remembering her mentioning the pictures paparazzis had taken of him and Alexa and how she’d implied him going for Alexa just like he’d gone for Arielle two years before.

Ella genuinely asked back, “Wanting to fuck you?”

“No, you dickhead.” Alex replied with a cackle, his giggles falling right behind his words, making her giggle along until he could clarify, “Wanting to tell me you love me.”

“I was in denial for a while.” Ella admitted easily. There was no reason to not be entirely transparent with him anymore and she hoped he felt the same way as she continued, “But as soon as I saw you leave that morning… I was just entirely sure about it the second I woke up.”

He frowned, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

She scoffed softly when just considering how that would’ve happened, “Tell you that over the phone? No chance.” She was so glad it hadn’t been that way, because having him close after having told him everything felt so right and she knew she would’ve cried when he reciprocated and she couldn’t have him beside her right then and there.

Alex hummed, knowing what she meant, “I reckon if you’d told me when I was away, I would’ve cried not being able to kiss you right then and there.”

“Exactly.” Ella said, slightly wide eyes at the way it just felt like he’d read her mind. But before she could forget, she asked him, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

With an embarrassed smile on his face, Alex shyly replied, “I was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same.”

She sighed, smiling at their own foolishness. Both of them were concerned about the same thing and instead of speaking about it, they kept it to themselves in fear of rejection as if their actions didn’t speak louder than their hushed words. “We’re such idiots.”

“We are.” Alex agreed with a grin on his face, leaning in until their noses brushed and giving her a eskimo kiss before slotting his lips between hers.

Her fingers delicately held his jaw as they kissed slowly, all that hunger had simmered down and turned into tenderness, wanting to feel each other as close as they could like becoming one was possible. There was no rush, the only priority was taking in every second their lips moved together, tasting each other’s tongues with patience and trying to translate their love into it.

“How long has it been for you?” Ella asked softly when she pulled away after a minute of slowly kissing, her thumb rubbing circles on his jaw.

Alex smirked when he knew what he could say about the very second he realized how he felt for Ella, “You wanna know who was there when I realized it all?”

Her curiosity was piqued by the weird approach of his answer, “Who?”

The last thing Ella was waiting for him to say was, “Alexa.”

A quick, “No.” in disbelief left her lips, Ella’s cheeks heating up at the fact that she’d been horrendously affected by her presence beside Alex on a picture when Alexa had been there the time Alex came to the conclusion that he was in love with her.

“Yes.” Alex continued smirking as he said, eager to see her reaction when he’d tell her just how it had happened. “Remember how we were on the phone at the wedding and she came by for a smoke?” Ella nodded, remembering that exact moment way too well for her liking, “You hung up and she just asked who you were. And once she asked, I couldn’t stop talking about you. She just listened and kept teasing me about it. I was gonna leave but then she asked why I hadn’t made a move, said something like ‘you really like her, don’t you?’ and it dawned on me; how I just couldn’t say I liked you because it wasn’t enough.”

Ella looked at him with teasing wide eyes and played, “‘Cause you love me.”

He hummed with a foolish grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, “Because I love you.”

Alex couldn’t help catching her mouth in a kiss again. Now that he could freely kiss her any time he wanted, there was no moment he wouldn’t be thinking of tasting her mouth and feeling her lips on his. She was all he needed to get drunk from.

He caught her bottom lip with his teeth before he could pull back from the kiss, tugging on her lip until she hummed in satisfaction at his action. Her pupils enlarged when he let go of her lip and looked at her in the eyes. She took it as the perfect opportunity to answer the question she thought he’d meant to ask at the start, “If I’m being honest, I’ve always wanted to fuck you.”

His mouth opened agape in slight shock, “Oi, you filthy bitch.” He called her out for the bluntness he would have to get used to without becoming speechless, but she’d caught him off guard and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“What?!” She frowned and scoffed before calling him out, “Don’t even start, Turner. Not when I know that you were getting yourself off to my pictures.”

He played dumb very obviously, the inflection of his voice going up as he asked, “Who? Me?”

“Yeah, you. Pervert.” Ella narrowed her eyes as she joked, calling him out further by adding, “And whilst you had a girlfriend too!”

At the mention of that, Alex dropped his joking expression and sighed in regret as he got serious, “Don’t. I actually feel really bad about that. I had to break up with her because I couldn’t stop thinking of you.”

She’d always been curious as to why he’d broken up with Arielle all of the sudden so she gasped and looked for more answers, “Are you serious?”

He hummed, wincing as he recalled, “I called her your name one time and I just couldn’t continue in that relationship after that.”

Ella gasped horrified, “You didn’t Cornerstone poor Arielle to me!” She couldn’t believe him, barely being able to scold him with the way her jaw was on the floor in shock, “Alexander David Turner!”

“I’m sorry.” He apologized wholeheartedly.

Her eyes looked into his unwavering for a minute and when she remembered a certain piece of information she’d gotten all those months before, she slapped her hand over her mouth and a muffled, “Oh my god. No. No. No. No.” came from her.

Alex frowned in confusion, his eyes swimming all over her face searching for answers but she just kept her mouth agape in further shock behind her hand, “What?!”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Alex?!” Her hand went from covering her mouth to cover her eyes as she sighed, entirely appalled by it all.

“What?!” The singer asked again, he’d no idea why the look on her face and he was starting to worry.

She had to take a few seconds to gather her thoughts before letting him know, “She fucking called me, you know? After you broke up with her, saying how you’d had the best sex the night before you broke up with her. And he said you called her darling for the first time that night!”

Alex hissed when he heard that and he knew he’d just have to admit to his mistakes, “I did call her darling ‘cause I was picturing you but she didn’t hear me calling her Ellie when I came.”

Another gasp came from Ella, “Alex! For fucks sake!”

“I know, I felt horrible.” Alex admitted, regret written all over his face, “I really did. If it counts for anything.”

Ella shook her head in disbelief, “Alex, I took her out to the club to make her feel better when it was because of me all along?!”

But Alex wouldn’t let her take that blow when it had all been his actions that caused Arielle hurt, “It wasn’t your fault, love. That was all me.”

“Alexxxxxx.” Ella whined as she covered her face with her hands again but this time because she had no idea what to say anymore. She was starting to feel bad for that having happened to Arielle due to her own existence and of course, Alex’s lack of self control. But she felt even worse for the fact that her stomach flipped and she filled up with a strange feeling when knowing she’d made Alex a total and complete mess since that long ago.

“Stop it.” Alex chuckled and pulled her in closer to him but she shuffled away from him the more he pulled on her wrists, “Come here.”

She shook her head, still hidden behind her hands, “No. I’m angry at you.”

“Our first argument already?” Alex joked and Ella rolled her eyes because she could hear the smirk on his face just from the tone of his voice.

“Slight disagreement.” Ella corrected, making Alex cackle loudly.

“Right.” He snickered before pulling on her wrists again, “Don’t hide please.” If she wasn’t gonna let herself be pulled towards him, then he’d go to her. So he crawled over to where she was and hovered on top of her, leaning in to leave a kiss on top of her hands and whisper, “I love you.”

She huffed, dropping her hands from her face to show her frown and cross her arms over her chest, “No, don’t bribe me like that.”

But how could he not? He just couldn’t hold himself back from saying, “I love you.” followed by a kiss on the right side of her face. Another “Love you.” with a kiss to the left side of her face. And one last “Love you so much.” before catching her lips in an elongated peck.

Despite the fact that she’d gracefully accepted the peck, when Alex pulled back, Ella still kept a blank expression on her face and said a meek, “Sure.”

He frowned, “Darling.”

“Alex.” Ella said back with the same determined tone he’d used.

He huffed childishly, “No.”

She chatted back with a short and dry, “Yes.” A roll of her eyes added in to accentuate her annoyance at it all.

But all that did to Alex was make him bite his lip because she looked so fucking hot when she was like this. He didn’t even know if he ever wanted to see her angry, but if she looked hotter than this, then he wouldn’t be opposed to being the target or her wrath.

“God, I fucking love you.” Alex groaned before cupping her face with his hands and pouncing on her lips.

His tongue licked at her bottom lip instantly and despite the fact that she was trying to continue acting all annoyed, she parted her mouth and invited him to lick into her mouth with a sigh of bliss.

Just to make her facade of annoyance crumble, Alex started moaning and groaning into the kiss, making a show of becoming sloppier with it and then leaving her mouth to attack her neck with wet open mouthed kisses so quick that the brush of his lips tickled her and had her giggling.

He pulled away when he heard her laughter, a loopy grin on his face matching the one on hers. But one that fell when she caught his gaze and said, “Now you gotta answer.”

“Huh?” He let out when he couldn’t put a finger on what she meant.

She smirked, her hands slowly brushing up his chest until they were resting on his shoulders and her legs wrapping around his hips before she asked, “How long have you been wanting to fuck me?”

Feeling her the heels of her feet digging into his ass, he let himself fall over her, his cock hardening just at the faintest touch of her cunt. “Ages.” He replied, gasping when she rolled her hips and he felt the arousal already wetting her core.

“Is that right?” She teased, fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

He hummed, a rush of heat flooding his body and blood rushing down to his cock just by the hungry look that had taken over her face. Her green eyes became black as her pupils dilated with another roll of her hips. “And I’ll make up for lost time until the day I die.” He swore out loud, because he would and it would not be a hardship in the slightest.

She grinned proudly at his words, butterflies fluttering in her belly at the hint of him willing to give her all those years of his life, willing to share all that time with her, “Good boy.”

His cock twitched at the praise. She’d fucking ruined him for good. “Call me that again.”

Ella smirked at his request but had no problem with repeating herself. “My.” She started saying, accentuating each word with a kiss, “Good.” Kiss. “Fucking.” Kiss. “Boy.”

Smashing their lips together, a bruising kiss followed as their hips started rolling in sync. Alex was already growing hard against her, his erection pressing onto her mound and she was getting more and more turned on from the way he reacted to her and the desperation seeping through his pores.

Alex could feel her already drenched and he couldn’t help but bring his hand down to gather some of her arousal. Two of his fingers ran up her folds and he hissed into her mouth. When he looked down, he let his fingers sink into her hole and her wetness allowed for them to glide in easily. The singer cursed under his breath when he drew his fingers back and when he looked back up at her, she let her mouth hang open inviting him to push his fingers into her mouth, wanting a taste.

He pushed his digits past her lips and let them heavily weigh down on the tip of her tongue. She moaned and her eyes rolled back at her taste, swirling her tongue around them before fully sinking them onto her mouth and humming in satisfaction when tasting even more of her wetness.

His mouth fell agape as he took in the filthiness of the scene, “How did I get so lucky?”

Letting go of his fingers with a pop, Ella replied to his question with a passionate kiss. So messy and pointless for their teeth clashed and couldn’t stop gasping the more their hips rolled into each other’s. But Alex could taste her arousal on her tongue and it drove him mad. He wanted another taste, he needed it.

So he broke the kiss, a string of spit clinging between their wet lips, guiding his kisses down her jaw and neck, her chest and abdomen until he reached her mound. Ella shuddered feeling his hot breath growing closer and closer to her heat, a wave of pleasure making her hips rut on the bed.

Her cunt was glistening, inviting him to have a fucking feast. And that he did once he threw her legs over his shoulders and he laid flat on the bed. His tongue pressed flat against her cunt and started to lap eagerly up and down her folds. Her right hand flew to catch a hold of his hair while the other one came up to her chest, fingers kneading her own tits, pinching her nipples when he started flicking at her clit.

“F–fuck!” Ella cursed loudly when he sucked on her clit, her hips bucking quicker with every second that went by, her fingers abusing her pebbled nipples even more to intensify the pleasure his mouth was bringing her. “Alex, baby… Shit.”

He hummed with his lips wrapped around her clit, her back arching from the vibration reverberation all over her. Her toes curling and her mouth going slack when he pointed his tongue and started fucking her with it, moving his head in such a way that his nose was rubbing on her clit.

She fucking loved it. She hadn’t known how badly she’d wanted to feel that again until she did and now all she could think of was getting this every day for the rest of her life. “Mmmm, just like that.” She praised, her hips still meeting his movements and making her orgasm build up.

Alex looked up at her and the sight of her playing with her tits as he tongue fucked had him letting out a guttural groan and bucking his hips into the mattress. The friction that brought him made him whimper pathetically and once the whiny sound fell on Ella’s ears, she got louder.

He got more vocal then, humming and moaning as he lapped at her, flicked and sucked at her clit, pointed his tongue to tease her sopping hole; all of it over and over until her legs started shaking beside his head.

“Alex! Al– Fuck.” She messily let out in between gasps, “M’so close. Oh fuckkkkk.” She mewled when his tongue started flicking faster at her clit, her eyes screwed shut and her hand falling from her chest to claw at the sheets when she felt her orgasm approaching her rapidly.

With a yell of his name, she came on his tongue, coating it with the sweetness he was already addicted to. The wetness mixed with his spit dribbling down his chin as he tried his best to lap at every drop, not wanting to let any of it go to waste.

His hips started rutting faster against the mattress, the springs of his bed creaking as he went. The sound of it was the thing Ella first heard when she came down from her high, not knowing what it was until she looked down and saw Alex lapping at the arousal that had wet her inner thighs and his hips bucking relentlessly on the bed.

“I can’t get enough of the taste of you, darling,” he confessed, kissing her inner thigh. “I’m obsessed.”

Pulling on his hair, Ella peeled him away from her cunt and in between her panting as she tried catching her breath, she finally said, “Fuck me, Alex. I need you.” Even if she was spent, and she felt far too oversensitive, she couldn’t miss the chance of him filling her up again.

He couldn’t wait anymore so there was not a second to doubt nodding and giving into her wishes, he crawled up her body and pumped himself quickly before aligning his cock to her entrance. Pushing his hips forward slowly and sinking into her for the second time in the night, Alex swore that was exactly how heaven felt like. Her back arched off the mattress when he bottomed out, her legs wouldn’t stop shaking and she felt her eyes well up with tears at the stretch after having just cum.

A cry of his name blessed Alex’s ears at the same time he leaned in to groan onto her chest. “Fuck me, you feel so fucking perfect.” He praised as he tried to catch his breath, stilling inside her to give her time to adjust to his length again. She needed to relax again because if her cunt kept squeezing him like that, he wouldn’t last more than a minute.

Before he could start moving, he lifted her legs up slowly one by one until they were thrown over his shoulders, shuffling closer until the backs of her thighs were flush against his chest and he leaned into her, her knees coming closer to her chest and the new angle allowing for him to sink even deeper inside her.

“Oh my– Fuck!” She yelled at the stretch of this new angle that had him pressing into her g-spot perfectly. She shivered beneath him, hips struggling to stay in place when her body was screaming for him to start moving. She felt like she was about to explode. “Alex, Alex, move please.”

Alex started at a fairly quick pace, not being able to start slow because the angle in which he fucked her just made her squeeze his cock even tighter. Not that Ella wanted him slower, she could feel her second orgasm looming on her with force and she needed him to continue picking up his pace.

The claps of their skin filled up the room, along with her high pitched whimpers and his groans. Her head was thrown back, giving him full access to kiss and bite and suck the skin of her neck and when he did, it just made her pleasure increase tenfold.

“Al– harder. Please, harder.” Ella cried out, feeling herself about to fall over the edge, seeing stars behind her eyelids with every thrust.

“Aren’t you greedy?” Alex taunted but obliged, and with harder thrusts, it truly felt like he was fucking her into the matress, the springs creaking as it bounced from their movement.

“Yes! Don’t stop!” She yelled desperately, her orgasm building more intensely every time his pubic bone smacked against her clit, the pain turning into blinding pleasure that made her toes curl and her fingers pull harder on his hair.

Alex rested all of his weight on his left hand then, using his right hand to start rubbing her clit in quick motions to have her cum along with him because there was only so much longer he could hold and he was afraid he was getting closer and closer to his limit. “Are you gonna cum for me?”

She bit her lip, rolling her eyes. “If you keep– Just–”

“Gonna drench my cock, huh?” He nosed her neck, tickling her. “Gonna make a mess of it?”

“Yes!” And, true to her words, Ella came all over him, the stimulation from him hitting her g-spot and toying with her clit making her squirt all over him, drenching him and the sheets. And with that filthy sight Alex came right after her, his cum coating her walls as he continued pounding into her with messy thrusts.

“Fucking hell, you’re hot.”

The rhythm of his hips faltered as he continued riding out both of their climaxes, his finger slowing down on her clit until it stopped as she kept spasming around him. Her legs were shaking on his shoulders, so he let her let them down slowly after dropping a kiss on her calves and resting them on the bed.

Alex rubbed her thighs softly as he pulled out from her, hissing when he did just like Ella whined at the emptiness, wanting nothing but for him to be always inside her, he filled her up so good she thought she would soon become addicted to it.

He looked down at the mess on the sheets, his brain flashing the image of her squirting all over him as he watched his cum dripping out of her and staining the wet sheets. Alex groaned from the pits of his chest, hovering down over her again and mumbling against her lips, “I fucking adore you.”

She giggled, trying to see his face through half lidded eyes and hummed, “Adore you too.”

At the sight of her eyes closing, Alex got off the bed and swiftly carried her to the bathroom so they could get cleaned up. When he set her on the floor of his en-suite, she groaned loudly at the soreness of her legs and her cunt, Alex laughed in response.

Ella glared at him then, folding her arms as she watched him get towels from some shelves hidden in the corner of the room. “Don’t laugh, you’ve just folded me like a pretzel. I’m gonna be so sore.”

The comparison only made him laugh even harder and she pouted. “‘M sorry, but you enjoyed it.” He walked up to her and, after tossing the towels on a bench beside the glass doors that encased his shower, he enveloped her in a hug and dropped a sweet kiss on her lips.

He started walking towards the shower as they kissed, so she walked backwards until the cold glass made her hiss when it touched the warm skin of her back. He pulled back from the kiss and dropped two pecks on her before opening the glass door for them to get inside but when she turned, she managed to catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

Ella scoffed, “Gonna have the best time covering these up, thanks Alex.” Her neck was covered in lovebites and so was her chest, and when she let her gaze fall down to her thighs, she found the darkening bruises littered inside of them.

He looked at her through the mirror coming to press himself against her back, his arms wrapping around her middle and dipping to leave a trail of kisses up her neck until he reached her ear and whispered, “Didn’t hear you complaining when I left them.”

She rolled her eyes at him trying to act like his tricks weren’t working but her walls clenched around nothing in response. “Shut up.” She said before peeling his arms off her and walking into the shower first. He was gonna be the death of her.

Alex walked in after her and pulled her into him again by wrapping an arm around her waist, their chests pressed flush against each other this time and making her throw her arms around his neck. “You love me.” The singer mumbled against her lips in a reminder, the smirk that broke on his face only pushing Ella to tease him back.

“Do I?” She quipped back, cocking her head to the side and putting on a pretty convincing confused expression on her face.

His eyes turned mischievous as he said, “You do.” and then flicked the shower on making her gasp when the cold water fell over them as they stood right beneath the wide shower head.

“You’re such a little shit.” She hissed through her teeth before pushing him off her softly. She really didn’t want him away because the water still fell on them cold but she had to commit to the bit.

The singer giggled as he stumbled backwards but came back up to her seconds later, wrapping an arm around her waist again and cupping her jaw, tilting her head slightly so he could kiss her. It stupidly felt like kissing under the rain and suddenly Ella couldn’t be more excited for every first kiss they’d share in the future.

“You still love me though.” Alex chatted back when he broke the kiss.

And despite the roll of her eyes, a smile won over her pursed lips and she agreed, “I do love you.”

Alex hummed, “And I love you.”

Soon enough the spray of water grew warmer and they started to clean themselves up. Alex grabbed the new bottle of shampoo he’d gotten and started washing Ella’s hair, massaging her head softly and making her moan as his fingers dug perfectly into scalp. When he rinsed the shampoo fully off her hair, she took over the task of washing his and he also was a moaning mess as she took her time massaging his head. They soaped each other up delicately and slightly teasingly, hissing when they would poke at a particular tender spot the other had sucked on their skin, smirking when they’d taunt each other with a frisky touch like when Alex groped her tits with the excuse of properly cleaning her up and when she let her fingers inch closer and closer to his cock as she soaped up his lower stomach.

When they came out of the shower, after Ella had made him fuck her first when he got hard at her tantalising touch, Alex wrapped her in a towel and left her to dry her hair with another one while he wrapped his own towel around his waist and went back out into his room to get some clothes for them to wear.

A few minutes later, Alex walked back into the bathroom in just a pair of joggers and one of his shirts and a pair of boxers in hand for her. He gave Ella the clothes and left her to take her time as he went back to his bedroom and picked up the duvet and the bedsheets to take to the wash.

It didn’t take him long to put the bedding in the washing machine and when he came back he melted at the sight of her wearing his shirt and boxers and brushing her wet hair with her fingers.

He stepped into the room, walking back to the shelves in the corner to take out a comb and a hair dryer. “C’mere, I’ll do it for you.” He waved her over to the marble counter where two sinks stood beside each other, and he tapped on the space in the middle for her to sit on while he took care of her hair

She walked over to him and sat where he told her, the marble cold against her bare thighs making goosebumps break along the skin of the legs. He stood between her legs, brushing from the ends of her hair upwards, making her get down to properly brush the back of her head. He then plugged the hair dryer and started drying her hair, his fingers tenderly combing through her hair as the warm air dried it.

When he was done, Alex was quick to give her a peck so that she would open her eyes which had fluttered closed at the feeling of his fingers raking through her hair.

“Thank you, darling.” Ella said with a fake British accent, trying her best to mock him but clearly failing when he frowned at her advances.

“You’re welcome, babe.” Alex replied, retaliating by putting on a fake American accent so high pitched it made Ella wince.

She scoffed, swatting at his chest softly, “I don’t sound like that at all!”

The singer just shrugged, wanting to wind her up, “Are you sure?”

“Dickhead.” She bit back with her eyes narrowed, making him let out a loud laugh before he pulled her into a tight embrace that ended with them sharing a sweet kiss.

With one last peck on her cheek after he separated their lips with a smack, Alex went and unplugged the hair dryer and put it back in its place along with the comb. Walking back to where Ella still stood, leaning on the marble of the sinks, and interlocked their fingers to walk back into the room.

Seeing the bed bare of bedding made Ella’s cheeks heat up, knowing that it was all her doing that the sheets were fully ruined to use tonight. Alex looked at her and smiled at her bright red face, pecking her lips before reminding her that it had been the hottest thing that he’d ever seen and suggesting taking the bedding from one of the guest rooms to get her out of her head.

Walking over to the guest room, Ella chuckled out loud remembering how he’d promised her a house tour and she was only getting it after she’d ruined his sheets, not because he’d promised.

“You still owe me that house tour, you know?” She taunted him with a grin on her face.

He turned to the side to look at her and giggled when realizing what was going through her head, “Tomorrow after breakfast, I promise.” She hummed, knowing she’d hold him up to that.

But at the mention of food, she openly admitted she was hungry and he said he was too. So they went back to his kitchen, hand in hand, and made themselves a fast sandwich that they practically devoured in minutes, along with a few talls glasses of water when they realized just how parched their activities had left them. They quickly put everything away in the dishwasher and continued their quest for the bedding.

When they opened the door to the guest room, Ella marveled at the look of it. It was California rustic and so pretty, the wallpaper and the wood used around the room combined beautifully and she realized then she hadn’t even had the chance to appreciate Alex’s room. Too caught up in trying to finally have him all to herself in the many ways she’d dreamed about.

She made a point to take in every detail of his room when they came back to it with their arms full of white bedding. Compliments came from her about what she’d seen of the house so far as they struggled to put on the fitted sheet, they laughed when they messed up the way it went and when the corners wouldn’t stay on as they perfectly placed them at first. The scene was so domestic, her heart grew in sizes inside her chest. How could she be feeling this rumble of butterflies in her stomach from just making a bed with him? She was utterly and completely fucked, and instead of scaring her anymore, it just felt right and she reveled in it.

Once they managed to tackle the fitted sheet, everything else came easier and as soon as the duvet was perfectly placed, Alex ran up to the window to pull down the blackout curtains and once that was done, the two of them gracefully disheveled the tidy way they’d made the bed to get under the sheets and finally cuddle each other until they could rest.

This time it was Alex who lay on top of her, the side of his face pressed over her chest where he was starting to fall asleep, being lulled by the steady beating of her heart and her nails scratching lightly at his scalp.

They’d been lying in silence for about ten minutes when Ella whispered, “Love?”

Alex smiled brightly with his eyes closed, his heart leaping from his chest hearing her using that pet name for him, “Hmm?”

“Which one’s your favorite?” She asked, still being intrigued about so many things they’d yet to talk about.

But it seemed that Alex didn’t really know what she was talking about for he lifted his head up slightly to press his face on her tits and motorboated her lazily for a few seconds before he mumbled, “Both of them.”

A loud cackle came from her, piercing through the silence in the room as she shook her head, “You’re such an idiot.”

“I’m not lying.” He wholeheartedly promised while coming back to rest the side of his face on her chest.

She hummed, a snort coming from her as she tried to contain her laughter and when she managed to keep it at bay, she actually clarified for him, “Okay, good to know. But I meant which of my pictures is your favorite.”

A soft, “Ohhhhh…” came from him in realization. She laughed just as loudly and then he peeled his eyes open to look up at her with a conflicted look on his face, “You can’t just make me pick one.”

“Well, I am.” Ella challenged him. She wanted him to list every single picture he’d gotten himself off to but for now she could go to sleep just knowing which was the one.

Despite him acting like it was despicable for her to make him choose one, coming up with an answer was as easy as the ticking of five seconds on the clock, “That one of you on the motorbike. The one where you’re wearing that silver bikini and your cowboy boots and that hat.”

She frowned, trying to think about which picture it was and when she remembered the frame she’d posted long ago, she gasped, “Really?”

He nodded, still looking up at her, “Yes. Wrote Arabella ‘cause of that one.”

“Of course you did.” Ella chuckled and rolled her eyes at him. She would’ve never realized that the ‘Barbarella silver swimsuit’ line actually had to do directly with her too and it wasn’t just another one of Alex’s witty lyrics.

“I did.” He confirmed, smiling proudly at her, “No regrets. Though you never said anything about that one.”

She frowned and scoffed at him like he was crazy, “What did you want me to say? I thought that one was about Arielle until I heard the bridge!”

He closed his mouth and let a few beats of silence pass when he knew her excuse was valid, “Oh, well…”

Ella actually giggled loudly at his response, a shake of her head in disbelief and she called him out for his audacity, “You’re so annoying.”

“You love me.” Alex countered with the statement that he knew she would never actually deny.

She hummed with a foolish smile breaking on her face as she confirmed, “I do.”

“Say it again.” Alex breathlessly pleaded, his fingers coming to take a hold of her chin as he craned his neck to lean in closer to her.

There would never be a day she would pass on the opportunity to tell him, “I love you.”

His heart soared hearing those words, devotion written on his face when he stared into her hazel green eyes and whispered back, “I love you.”

Their exhaustion was wearing them out already and the languidness of their movements translated into a lazy kiss. But what lacked in energy, compensated with the sheer amount of sincerity and intent, wanting to let the other know with every kiss just how much of a love fool they’d made each other.

When he pulled back, Ella leaned back in to drop a handful more chaste kisses on his lips and after the sixth one, she couldn’t help herself about asking another question that was poking at her curiosity intensely, “Which other ones are about me? Other than Snap, you made that very clear.”

“Fireside, Do I Wanna Know?, Stop the World.” He listed quickly, knowing just what was his train of thought behind every song he’d written about her. “I made I Wanna Be Yours into a song because I wanted you to get the hint.”

She offered him a sweet pout and cooed at him, “Awh, sweetness.”

“That worked out well, didn’t it?” He added with a lighthearted sarcastic tone.

But she shook her head because it had been her fault too, not picking up on the obvious signs, “Sorry, I’m just a bit dense sometimes.”

Yet, he wouldn’t have her blaming herself for it when he knew he should have just spoken up, “S’alright. I should’ve just told you.”

Just to tease him, Ella nodded and agreed, “You really should’ve.” As if she hadn’t been keeping it hidden for far too long too.

He shook his head and rolled his eyes in amusement before smiling brightly, “Nice to be able to say it now.”

She nodded, thinking nothing else would ever compare to the feeling that flooded her when he said he loved her for the first time and it only got better and better the more he repeated it. The peace that she felt when she let those three words out was just as good, “It’s relieving.”

“I love you.” Alex told her, his eyes taking in every detail of her face as it lit up when hearing those words.

Ella brought her hand up to his face to cup his jaw and reciprocate sweetly, “I love you.”

One more kiss was shared, another one of those teeth-rottingly cute ones that left each other dazed. The heat of their bodies beneath the covers was making it harder for Alex to stay up so he broke the kiss and mumbled against her lips, “Right, darling. Close those pretty eyes of yours and go to sleep yeah? Long day tomorrow.” She’d fully distracted him from cleaning up the house and getting it ready, nevermind for the party but he’d been planning on tidying everything up for when she’d come over, if he’d actually had the chance to prepare the candlelit dinner for her.

“Hmm right.” Ella whispered back.

It was hard to know if the fact that everyone else was coming over the very next day was gonna make her want to sleep as soon as possible, dreading the exhaustion that evening would bring, or if it was gonna make her nervous enough to keep her eyes open for far longer than necessary.

All because Alex started rubbing circles on the skin of her thigh just as he let his eyes flutter closed and wished her, “Sweet dreams, darling.”

Seeing Alex’s face starting to melt into a blissful stupor, she forced her eyes closed and wished him back, “Sweet dreams, my love.”

It was impossible for him to keep that stupid smile off his face when she called him that, “I like the sound of that.”

She giggled, her cheeks heating up again. “Go to sleep.” She called him out, trying to bite back her smile to push herself into her slumber.

With the dark behind their eyelids being the only thing they could see then, it was impressive the way they found each other’s lips again and shared one more quick and soft kiss before they could actually succumb to their exhaustion. The foolish grins on their faces stuck there until they fell deep in sleep, arms wrapped around each other and legs tangled to keep the other as close as possible, not wanting to let go anytime soon.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The domesticity continued well into the following morning, after Alex woke Ella up with an attack of kisses all over her face which ended in them holding the other as they worked their ways to an orgasm, whispering sweet nothings and looking into each other’s eyes intently as pleasure washed over them.

Brushing their teeth together before changing the sheets yet again—this time bringing the freshly washed ones in Alex’s room and putting the one’s they’d borrowed from the guest room in the wash—, making breakfast together and getting comfortable on the settee to eat.

Ella’s legs were thrown over his lap and he was trying his best to keep one hand on her thigh, rubbing circles on her skin while they ate. The only sound that rumbled through the house was the consistent hum of the AC that kept the house cool, outside the sun was heating up the ground and the water that filled the pool; they broke the silence from time to time to hum when they had another bite of the scrambled eggs and sausage he’d made.

It was hard to imagine everything else was going by normally outside the walls of Alex’s house. It felt like they were stuck in their own little bubble and pure happiness simmered inside them, butterflies fluttering inside their stomachs and their smiles just stuck on their faces so their cheeks ached from how much they were smiling already despite it just barely being nine in the morning.

Alex already felt the need for this to be routine, for this to be his normal so with a soft squeeze to her bruised thigh, he let out, “I could get used to this, y’know.”

It was so easy to agree, when Ella felt so complete right there. Everything felt right, all worries had been stripped away from her and she felt light and carefree, like she was soaring and the only weight was the love that filled her heart and swelled it until it tripled in size. She hummed in agreement, “Mhmmm, me too.” But just to tease him, like she was growing to adore, she joked by tapping her fork on the almost empty plate, “This is so good.”

An eye roll was added there along with a soft moan so that she could emphasize how good she meant the food was and, even though she wasn’t lying, Alex still gasped aloud, mockingly insulted.

A string of giggles fell from her lips and she set the plate down on the coffee table next to her coffee cup to cup his face with both hands and promise, “I’m joking.” Ella pressed her lips over his, their eyes fluttering close at the feeling, and she pulled back softly after a few seconds to genuinely say, “This just feels so right.”

With a smile, he also set his plate down on the coffee table and settled back on the settee to look at her and admit, “You know, you actually beat me to it by a few hours.”

A soft frown appeared on her face as she brushed his hair back, “Beat you to it?”

He nodded and told her just what he’d been planning for her later that night, “Was gonna call you and invite you over for dinner. I’d bought some things earlier to make you your favorite pasta and a bunch of candles to set it all up outside by the pool.”

“Awh sweetness…” Ella cooed as she shuffled even closer to him, “You’re so fucking cute.”

Alex kissed the soft pout off her face and hummed into her mouth before pulling back and smirking, “It was gonna be really cute but then you surprised me instead.”

She shook her head in disbelief not only at the fact that she missed that but also of her own actions, “Can’t believe I ruined your cute little plan by barging in and going on a crying rant.”

But Alex couldn’t disagree more with her choice of words, “You didn’t ruin anything, darling.”

“It was...” Ella started, trailing off to think of a proper word to describe what that had been and when recalling it in her mind, she closed her eyes in painful embarrassment and concluded, “A whole mess.”

“Nah, I loved it.” Alex said wholeheartedly, cupping her jaw and rubbing soothing circles on her face to have her open her eyes, “Not seeing you cry though, that broke my heart.” Her words echoed inside his head and his brows furrowed as worry washed over his gaze, “Did you really think I was ever going for Alexa when I have you?”

She averted her gaze but she tutted softly and tilted her face so she’d look him in the eye again. Biting her tongue, she took a deep breath and her fingers fiddled with the hem of her shirt before she mumbled, “Well if you’d read that article and seen all the shit people keep saying online then you’d know how I felt.”

“What article, love?” He’d no clue what she was referring to and if he could see it and get a link to it so he could send it to his PR team, he would do it in a heartbeat and ask them to do their best to take the bloody thing down. “Show it to me.”

Silently, Ella nodded and left him with a kiss on the settee to get her phone. She found it with ease as it was saved in Breana’s chat, and she held her breath when it loaded and showed on her screen. The stupid fucking article that had made her miserable for days. She had herself to blame for that too but she couldn’t not when that was going around social media and people took it like gospel.

Ella bit on her thumb when she sat down next to Alex and offered him the phone opened on the article. She watched attentively as he started reading and taking in every way his pursed lips twitched and his brows lifted and furrowed.

A loud scoff came from him when he read that last sentence and he shook his head, closing the tab and setting Ella’s phone down on the coffee table. “Utter wank.” That was all he could describe it as. And to completely clear things up, he explained, “We were chatting about you that morning, actually.”

“What?”

Alex grabbed her ankles and threw her legs over his lap again, wrapping an arm around her waist to bring her as close as he could to him before he could add, “Like I told you yesterday, she was there when I realized I love you. So when she heard that we were in New York and had just played a festival, she texted me and we met up. We were walking around smoking and I told her about the house and moving here and wanting to tell you and she gave me loads of ideas about how to tell you, the candlelit dinner being one of them.”

Ella’s mouth fell open agape at the information. She couldn’t believe not only had Alexa been there when he realized he was in love with her, she had given him ideas on how to finally tell her.

Her cheeks tinted bright pink and she let her head fall on Alex’s shoulder. He felt her shake her head and sigh heavily, “Ugh, fuck. I feel so stupid.”

Alex shook his head and rubbed up and down her legs to soothe her, “It’s all the media's fault and all those chatting shit online.” He got angrier when recalling all the idiotic implications written on that page, “Dunno what the fuck they’re going on about Cookie’s wedding either. Just a bunch of bollocks, that.”

Ella hummed as she took in the way he reacted to what he’d just read, his look of disdain when reading each sentence was imprinted in her mind. In a moment of utter sincerity, she started explaining what had gone through her head when reading the article, “It really just made me feel the same as 2012 when you went for Arielle after our date and I–,” it was hard to compare because it was a very different situation but the ugly feeling that had flooded her system was just the same only amplified tenfold, “I thought the worse and I didn’t want to be left broken like back then so I started overwhelming myself to just anticipate what was coming.”

Alex’s hand coming to hold hers and intertwine their fingers coaxed her out of her mind and she looked up at him with a sorrowful smile. He kissed the back of her hand and she said the last thing she wanted to ever utter about the matter, the one thing that had been haunting her the most, “I think what freaked me out the most was that last line. I had no idea you were engaged to her.”

“Never was.” Alex wholeheartedly said while still holding tightly onto her hand, “It’s just one of them things people take out of context. Must’ve told someone I wanted to marry her back when we were together and they probably went straight to the tabloids to exaggerate it and make it a piece of hot gossip.”

A faint, pathetic “Oh,” fell from her lips. She couldn’t keep his gaze because she felt embarrassed, she almost pulled her hand back but his touch was soothing and it was all she needed as she added, “My head was spinning. I thought if I already had no chance in ever coming close to the Alexa Chung then the history between you would make it entirely impossible to compare.”

With a pull to her hand, Alex made her look up again and once he could see those gorgeous eyes of hers, he shook his head, “That’s so far from the truth, darling.” Grabbing her other hand, he pulled her towards him so she shuffled and changed the position of her legs, coming to straddle him.

He cupped her face with both hands, watching every detail on her face adoringly, taking one of his hands up to her hair so he could rake through it with his fingers as he said, “No one comes even close when compared to you, Ella. You’ve been all I could ever think about for a while. Just the thought of you drives me mad. I’m all yours, I’ve always been.”

Silence fell around them as they took in each other’s expression. His face shined with devotion and her worried frown had melted into complete infatuation.

Cupping his face with her hands and softly rubbing circles on his jaw, she quietly asked, “Mine?”

“Yours.” Alex smiled brightly, an almost imperceptible nod made her fingers hold onto him the tiniest bit together.

It was as true a statement as her declaring, “I love you.”

And he knew. He felt it just the same, his heart beating in the same erratic pattern as hers, “I love you so much darling.”

She leaned in closer to him, breaths mixing together and their parted mouths ready to slot together and make the distance disappear between them, “I’m yours too, you know.”

His throat dried up at her words, it would take him time to realize this was actually real and not one of those dreams he had felt too crazy to lose himself in before.

“And for that I’m the luckiest man alive.”

They met in the middle to share yet another kiss that only assured for them to continue getting addicted to the taste of each other’s mouth. It was soft at first, deliberate and full of intent, but when his tongue brushed her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to welcome him in, it grew hungry and needy.

It was more than clear that they only had a few days to enjoy their bliss before he had to go on tour again. He’d shown her the schedule while they made breakfast and they knew once he left on the 2nd to tour festivals in Europe, they wouldn’t be able to see each other until he came back for three shows in different cities in California in August. And then he’d be off again. So it would be a little over a month that they’d be away from each other, and those three days they’d get would go by way faster than they’d need. It was just how time always treated them.

Therefore, they knew to take advantage of every minute they got with each other. To drink it all in and not take it for granted, to indulge in it all.

So it wasn’t surprising when his hands came to rest on her hips and he pressed her flush against his hips, he was already hard for her. A needy whine fell from her lips at the friction, his breath hitched in his throat when she rolled her hips, keeping her gaze on his to watch his face contorted in pleasure.

Alex threw his head back and rolled his eyes, “This is what you do to me.” Struggling to pick his head back up, he grabbed one of her hands and guided it between their bodies so her fingers could wrap over the bulge tenting his joggers. She squeezed softly and a groan rumbled through his chest, “One look at you and I’m fucking ruined.”

Her tongue poked between her lips to wet them as she looked down and continued stroking him through his clothes. Alex took in the view, her mouth agape and almost watering at the outline of his cock pressing against his joggers, her hand moving on him now more confidently as he tried swallowing his whimpers, her bruised thighs spread open and on each side of his legs.

“I mean, look at you.” He said raggedly, struggling to catch his breath. “Fuck.”

When Ella looked back up at him, she took in the way his chest flushed. He was still shirtless, and she’d been smirking all morning, shamelessly gawking at him. But now the pink hue his skin was turning contrasted with the dark red bruises she’d left on him the night before.

His breath grew heavier when she leaned in and kissed over the big bruise that adorned that sweet spot on the base of his throat, “Did a good job,” she said before licking up the side of his neck until she reached his earlobe, she bit it and tugged, letting it free after a pathetic whimper stumbled through his lips.

She leaned back slightly and stopped the movement of her hand on his cock, making him cry out at the loss of her consistent touch building on his pleasure.

Smirking, she whispered in his ear, “Wanna write my name all over you.”

Alex shuddered when her breath fanned on his skin as she made her way down his neck, only to start her abuse on his skin all over again, finding patches of pale skin in between the bruises that she felt the need to fix.

His hips bucked upwards when she bit on a bruise, the pain rippling through his body and turning it into eye watering pleasure that had him a mess of whispered profanities and her name as she went.

A broken moan came from him when she finished sucking a bruise over his heart and went straight back to dig her teeth on a patch of tender skin. “Awh baby.” Ella cooed when she straightened up and looked at his tear glazed eyes, “You okay? Want me to stop?”

She had started lifting herself off his lap when he shook his head eagerly, “No. Don’t.”

Alex pulled her back down on his lap, this time so her cunt was right over his hard length and she moaned when he used his firm hold to guide her into rolling her hips over him and his cock brushed her clit.

His brows furrowed in pleasure, a moan stuck on his throat, he managed out a shaky, “I need you.”

And Ella needed him too. She was wet and throbbing for him already, clenching around nothing and all she could think of was how good he stretched her out. She needed him inside her again. But she couldn’t help herself, pouncing on his lips with lust and an animalistic need that made her rock her hips at a quickening pace over him.

When his mouth went slack and he couldn’t kiss her back anymore, she took it as the cue to get off his lap and quickly undress. His shirt she’d been wearing was thrown behind the settee and the boxers she’d borrowed quickly followed.

Completely naked, Ella came to straddle him again. Alex’s hands fell on her waist and slowly trailed up until he could cup her breasts, fingers pinching each nipple and mouth parting in a silent gasp when her hands fell on his shoulders and she started rolling her drenched cunt over his clothed bulge.

“You’re gonna be the end of me.” Alex swore under his breath, her wetness already ruining his joggers. He could feel his own precum leaking and aiding in wetting the fabric along with her own slick.

Ella hummed, stopping her tantalizing movements to lift herself up and off his lap, enough for her to pull down the waistband of his joggers and his hard cock to spring out and brush against his lower stomach. They didn’t even think of getting them off him fully, halfway down his thighs was enough for them to carry on.

Her mouth watered at the sight, the hairs of his happy trail being wet by the salty arousal that leaked out of his tip. With nimble fingers, she grabbed his length and pumped him. Once, twice. Fuck. He was heavy, swollen in her hand.

Her thumb swiped the precum off him and brought it up to her mouth, sucking devotedly to memorize every detail of him.

How he shivered beneath her, how he tasted on her tongue, how he dug his nails in her skin to silently beg her to hold him again, how he looked as he panted and tried his best to go along the pace she set, the aroma of sex already lingering in the air surrounding them.

Every one of her senses was completely overcome by him, and she greedily wished for it to remain the same until she took her last breath.

“And you’ll be mine.” Ella reciprocated, hand coming down between their bodies to wrap around his cock again. No more time to waste anymore when the need for each other started to morph into an ache.

She took him and rubbed him up and down her folds, reveling in the way his face fell at the contact with her sopping cunt. The tip of his cock teased her entrance, and she concluded, “What a way to fucking go,” as she sank down on him.

Words struggled to come out of his mouth the more she swallowed him whole, “I love you–,” he started to say, just wanting to praise her for how good she was to him, how well she took him, but his thoughts melted into the puddle of pleasure she brought him and all he could do was curse under his breath when he bottomed out, “Oh fuck.”

Catching her breath with shallow inhales, Ella pressed her forehead against his and their lips brushed as she sighed, “All mine. Only mine.”

Their eyes rolled into the back of their skulls when she started rolling her hips, the angle heavenly and making them a mess of moans and whimpers.

“Feels so good baby.” Alex praised, wrapping an arm around her waist to keep her as close as possible. Her pebbled nipples rubbing against his chest, his senses going haywire. Ella, Ella, Ella. It was just her, all his mind knew. His heart, body and soul shared the same knowledge. “You’re a fucking dream.”

She hummed, he felt so good inside her. Every roll of her hips meant his cock nudged against that spot inside her that drove her mad, and her clit pressed on him deliciously. She was delirious from the pleasure, “Love– fuckkkk. Love you.”

Stilling for one second, she stabilized on her knees and started moving up and down on his cock. The friction of him dragging in and out of her velvety walls made them gasp, she was making a mess of him.

A high pitched moan fell from her lips, straight into his open mouth when one of his hands smacked harshly against her ass. The sting of the spank dwindling into white heat that only made her mewl louder when she bounced back down on his cock.

“Again, please.”

Her wishes were his command, so he did it again. Reveling in the feeling of her walls clenching around him with every hit. Because she kept asking for more and more, her breaths growing shallow, her cries of pleasure getting louder and louder. He was sure he’d see the red print of his hand there with how hard and often he was spanking her.

His fingers dug harshly in the tender flesh of her ass, helping her glide up and down his cock. He looked down to watch how easy it was for her to take him over and over, “So good to me, darling. Fucking made for my cock, weren’t you?”

“Yes.” She gasped out in agreement, they fit together like the pieces of a puzzle. A delicious, brain-melting, toe-curling puzzle that brought her closer and closer to the edge.

Her hips got faster, thighs burning from the effort but she wasn’t relenting, not when she felt that coil in her lower stomach tightening with every stroke. The slaps of their slick covered skin meeting made her smirk, “We’re gonna make a mess here.”

The image of her squirting all over him the night before flashed through his mind, a guttural moan coming from him at the possibility of it happening again, “I don’t care.”

“Already wanna ruin your new furniture?” Ella giggled breathlessly.

He nodded, biting his bottom lip to muffle a loud moan when she picked up her pace. He was gonna spill inside her any second now if he didn’t focus on holding out until she could cum with him. His words came out strangled by the effort, “I’ll ruin every inch of this house with you.”

“Yeah? What are we ruining baby?” Her voice was molten lust that washed all over him, fingers digging harder into her flesh.

Every scene played in his mind like a film, his mouth moved quickly with each frame, “Gonna bend you over the kitchen counter, have you make a mess all over the marble. Have a feast of this sweet cunt on the dinner table. You’re gonna see how well you take it when I fuck you in front of that mirror in my room.” She dipped her face to suck a bruise on the skin right below his ear, “We– Oh fuckkkk…”

With those plush wet lips of hers she stole his thoughts, making him crumble into a blubbering mess as she marked him up.

She let go of the patch of skin with a pop, licking over it with her eager tongue. “Yeah? Promise?” She whined, needy and begging for him to already make all that reality.

“Promise baby.” He moaned in response, “Ella… Shit.” He couldn’t hold out any longer, he was so close and he knew she was too with the way her legs started trembling. He needed her to cum with him and to drench him again so he brought a hand down in between them and started rubbing quick circles on her clit.

A broken gasp fell from her mouth, he swallowed it with a quick wet kiss but she caught his wrist and pulled his hand away. “Don’t.” She knew exactly what he was trying to do. “We can’t just throw your settee in the washing machine.”

He was about to complain but those fucking hips of hers wouldn’t relent and he was losing grasp around reality and any sort of logic. His need for release took over and pressing a hand down on the settee while the other still clutched her tightly to his chest, he started bucking his hips up, every thrust more determined, meeting in the middle as she fucked herself on his cock.

“Shit, yes! Keep– Ohh!” Ella couldn’t even properly speak, she was almost drooling from how fucking good it felt, how fucking well he slammed his hips up into hers. One arm wrapped around his neck and the other making sure to keep a good grip on the back of the settee, she mewled into his mouth, “Like that. Like that. M’so close baby.”

“Cum with me darling.” Alex struggled to say, his words strained as he got closer and closer to his climax. His thighs started trembling but he did his best to continue, cursing as it took all of him not to stop, “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

Her legs shook beside his hips, her hips stuttered as she tried to continue riding him. Panting into each other’s mouths, they came. Crying out each other’s name, holding onto the other for dear life as their minds went blank and their sight was overcome by nothingness except for the feeling of him twitching inside her and coating her walls with his cum.

Sloppily, they rode out their highs until Alex slumped back down on the settee with Ella, almost dead weight on top of him. Their heavy breaths sounded like blissful sighs with every exhale.

It was an unearthly feeling to have this all with each other at last. So fucking perfect, they weren’t fully conviced this wasn’t a dream.

Ella giggled when she opened her eyes and found him blissed out, eyes closed and trying to gather his bearings, “Mmm, that was so good.” Not only was the sex amazing, she felt fulfilled in every possible way, her soul was vibrating with joy. She felt whole.

“Match made in heaven.” Alex finally opened his eyes as he stated, wholeheartedly. He could fucking write it on stone.

With a raise of her brows, she teased, “Doubt this scene is anything worthy of holiness, sweets.”

Alex shook his head and took his time to look her up and down, his cock twitching inside her when seeing himself still buried deep inside her and their slick covered thighs. Her chest was flushed and heaving still, all those bruises looming on her made his mouth water as well as those tits of hers that he couldn’t help but cup softly. She looked at him expectantly with the prettiest smirk he’d ever seen, like she was trying not to show her amusement at the way her body had him hypnotized.

With that view, it was so easy for him to confirm, “Nothing’s near as divine as you are, love.”

She snorted out a laugh and shook her head, brushing the strands of hair that stuck to his sweaty forehead, “I’d say you’re just saying that to get lucky tonight but you’re balls deep inside me and I can already feel your cum dripping out of me.”

He laughed with her and stole a quick kiss that she delved in for a few seconds, breaking it to lift herself up and off him to clean themselves up before it all dripped and stained the settee. But her legs shook intensely and she wasn’t able to even hover above him enough for him to pull out.

With a kiss on her cheek, Alex mumbled, “I got you,” before he carefully stood up as he held her with one arm. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and held on so he could stand up without her slipping off his hold.

Step by step, slow and steady, he carried her and took her to the bathroom, there he carefully got inside the glass doors that surrounded the shower and carefully lifted her up and off him, and onto the floor.

Ella knew right then that every shower she took after he left would be lonely when she didn’t have him massaging her shoulders and her scalp, or when he wasn’t giggling with her as she molded his shampooed hair into odd hairstyles. She would miss the kisses he dropped on her face and her shoulders as the water rained over them, and how he’d intertwine their fingers when walking out of the shower.

“Our coffee is definitely cold by now.” Ella joked when he was plugging the blow dryer to help with her wet hair like he’d done the night before. She half wanted to put on her best puppy eyes and beg him to cancel so they could just go back to bed and cuddle instead of actually setting everything up to be ready for when everyone was meant to come around.

With a fresh set of sheets that they’d just taken out of the dryer, they took on making the guest room’s bed again as their first task. It felt easier this time, and even through the novelty of the scene, Ella felt content and fulfilled like she did when she was at home doing something she’d been doing her whole life. It felt so familiar and just right, her heart swelled in her chest.

When they went out to the back, Ella gasped at the sight of the pool. She could see the blue water catching the sun rays and glimmering beautifully against the pink tiles of the walls of the pool.

She had laughed when Alex ran back inside to bring out a box in which there was a High Green sign just like the one Matt had gotten and put up on the back of his house. Of course, Ella helped Alex put it up and they proudly appreciated how it looked against the tan paint that coated the walls of the house.

There was a big table outside surrounded by a handful of chairs that they moved to the left hand side of the sliding glass doors that gave way into the patio so Alex could set up the food there outside. Thankfully, the pool chairs were perfectly placed around one side of the pool, making the rest of the patio look spacious enough to house the amount of people Alex had invited.

But before they could cheer about having done everything rather quickly, and run back to his bedroom to do fuck all before they needed to get ready, Ella realized she’d come very much unprepared to Alex’s house. She was wearing a new set of his clothes, because hers had been the same she’d been wearing the previous day at work and long forgotten in a corner of his room.

It was about noon when she managed to peel herself off a clingy Alex who was trying to convince her to use one of his shirts and the same shorts she’d been wearing on Friday, but Ella had reminded him of the amount of love bites he’d left on her skin and how she would still need her makeup to cover it if she wasn’t gonna use something with more coverage than her jeans and one of his shirts.

Alex huffed but managed to make a deal with her, one that he didn’t really need to push hard at all for her to accept. There was no way in hell she’d pass on the opportunity of staying over and staying with him every single day until he had to leave.

Ella made it to her house in record time, considering the Saturday traffic and all, and she’d packed everything up in a rush. Her makeup, toiletries, whichever clothes she saw first and deemed okay—she’d gotten annoyed remembering she needed to go to work the last three days Alex had in LA, so she grabbed a handful of clothes to wear to the office—, her camera, underwear and those lingerie sets Katie had convinced her to buy back in April, as well as some things that she quickly plucked out of that fun little box she kept in the back of her wardrobe.

When she came back, Alex had already set all the drinks out on the kitchen island along with glasses for everyone to use. There were so many bottles, Ella actually didn’t know what to expect of the night but she smiled knowing they’d have a nice time.

On the kitchen counter laid many different containers with food: fruit bowls, charcuterie boards, loads of dips for the many crisps Alex had bought, a variety of precisely cut veggies to be dipped as well, brownies and cookies, cheese and crackers, bacon wrapped grilled shrimp, sushi rolls.

Ella’s mouth watered at the sight and she was about to steal a bite of the shrimp when Alex walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, “I ordered us some actual food and it’s on its way.”

She smiled and turned in his hold, cupping his face and leaning in to mumble against his lips, “You just know the way to my heart don’t you, Turner?”

By the time the doorbell rang to announce the food was there, Ella had just finished setting her makeup bag and toiletries beside one of the sinks in his bathroom, her clothes were still inside her little carry-on case which Alex had brought into his walk-in closet the second they got to his room.

After eating the lovely chinese food he’d ordered, they made their way back to Alex’s room and he watched attentively as she started getting ready by doing her hair. His eyes followed every move of her hands and the way her lips pursed in concentration when she loosely curled strand after strand of hair until it looked voluminous and shiny. He grew more and more entranced as she put half of it up in a little bun and the rest brushed over her shoulders.

Ella dropped a kiss on his lips when she unplugged her curling iron and walked back into the walk-in closet to get the dress she’d chosen for the evening.

Since she couldn’t really show off her chest or her thighs thanks to the bruises Alex had sucked onto her skin, Ella had chosen a high neck, criss crossed back, long knitted black dress. It covered her whole chest and legs so she only had to worry about covering the love bites on her neck with lots of concealer and a heavy hand of translucent powder.

When Ella walked back into the room with the dress already on, Alex commented how rude it had been of her to change in another room. She’d laughed about it, deeming needy and horny, but he’d nodded and hugged her by the waist only to throw her onto bed and kiss all over her face. She couldn’t even fight the loving attack because if thrashed around too much, she’d ruin her hair entirely and she couldn’t be arsed to start working on it again.

Alex and his puppy eyes, and those lips she couldn’t resist, managed to convince her to cuddle him and kiss him for a few minutes before she could start doing her makeup.

Ella might’ve acted annoyed when she had been able to stand up and felt her hair all crazy, but she was more than happy when seeing him like that. Knowing that he just couldn’t get enough of her filled her insides with warmth.

Like a lost puppy, Alex followed her to the bathroom and he leaned against the door frame while watching her start working whatever magic she did with her makeup on her neck. He was all entranced, fully smitten and eyes glimmering with adoration, watching as she carefully applied products to her face and neck that he had no idea how they worked but she used in a way that just enhanced her beauty and completely hid away all the darkening bruises on her skin.

“Aren’t you gonna go get ready, sweets?” She asked softly, heavily focused on not messing up her eyeshadow as she applied mascara to her lashes, “You’ve been staring at me this whole time and you’re not even ready.”

He hummed, pushing himself off the door frame and walking slowly up to her, giving her time to put her mascara down and check on the mirror that it was alright.

“You’re so gorgeous, darling. I can’t stop looking at you.” He said as he hugged her from behind, kissing the side of her neck a handful of times before looking at her in the eye through the mirror, “Can’t blame me for getting distracted when this is my view.”

He watched as she rolled her eyes and her cheeks tinted even more pink than they already were from the powder blush she’d applied on the apples of her cheeks, “So smooth, Alexander.”

Tapping the backs of his hands softly which were resting on her waist, she waited for him to loosen his hold so she could turn around and rake her fingers through his hair, “Go change so I know if I need to cover up your neck or not.”

Looking up to see his own reflection in the mirror, he nodded knowing that she was right, and she’d taken most of her time covering her neck up than actually putting makeup on her face. So with a quick kiss, he dashed to his wardrobe and chose a simple outfit, a short sleeve red shirt that he made sure to button up as much as he could without feeling uncomfortable and black jeans.

She praised his speed when he came back to her all ready for the evening, and she waved him over towards her so she could cover up the hints of bruises that showed over the collar of his shirt. Her touch had made him melt under her fingertips, he kept letting out soft moans when she grabbed onto his neck to keep him steady as she blended the concealer to cover everything as best as she could.

Alex giggled when she pressed her brush over his neck after she dipped it in the translucent powder, and while she’d tried her best not to laugh, she couldn’t hold in her own giggles when he acted like a child being tickled.

“Can you not gel your hair tonight?” Ella fluttered her lashes as she asked, a soft pout on her lips that she’d painted a natural mauve color with some lipstick she had in her bag. He nodded, rolling his eyes like it was a burden to go along with what she was asking for. She poked his ribs and he jumped, making her cackle loudly before he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder to go back into the bedroom and throw her on the bed.

Ella knew what he was about to do so she clutched onto his wrists and held them away from her, “Don’t tickle me babe, I’m gonna mess my hair up.” And just because he’d seen how much time and effort it had taken, he nodded and leaned in to press a kiss on her lips and then moved to lay on bed, beside her.

Laying on his side, pressing his elbow on the mattress and his chin on the palm of his hand, he looked down at her lying on her back right next to him. She grabbed his free hand and started playing with his fingers, kissing each pad of his fingers and then making a fist to kiss each knuckle, finishing up by kissing the back of his hand and then opening it up to kiss his palm.

Once she was done with her kisses, she intertwined their fingers and Alex swore he could cry at her tenderness.

“Do you think they’ll know if we don’t tell them?” Alex asked after a few moments of silence.

“Breana might.” Ella knew her best friend would be suspicious about it since she’d been blowing up her phone earlier in the day and the director hadn’t known how to reply to her messages without lying so she just left them unopened. “She was the one who convinced me to tell you already, I was gonna wait ‘til today to see if you actually were gonna get with Alexa.”

The singer kissed his teeth and shook his head softly, “You silly thing.”

“I know.” Ella let out a breathy chuckle at her own stupidity, but changed the subject back to the main question, “Think it’d be fun to hide it for as long as we can and see if they suspect anything.”

He frowned, “But I wanna kiss you.”

“Me too but it’ll be fun.” Ella admitted with ease, and when she remembered something she had yet to tell him, she smirked, “And if you’re good, I’ll give you a reward.”

At that, Alex perked up: his eyes widened a little and his brows rose up on his face. He watched as her pupils dilated right before she cryptically explained, “Brought some things with me from home.”

Pure seduction was written on her face when she licked her lips and her teeth sank on her bottom lip, and that was enough to know exactly what she meant by it. “You can’t just say that to me right now.” He groaned, letting his head hang until it fell over her chest. He picked his head up in a second when her chest shook with laughter, “I swear I’ll call everyone and cancel, I don’t fucking care.”

She pursed her lips and shook her head, “Patience is a virtue.”

“But–“

“No buts. Thought you were gonna be good and listen.” She raised a brow in challenge.

Alex huffed at her clear invitation to defy her and see what that would bring, but he bit his tongue and went along with her game, “Alright, I’ll listen.”

Completely satisfied with his response, she smirked proudly again, “I know you will.”

The doorbell ringing startled them out of their bubble, Alex rose to his feet and pulled Ella up to stand with him by the hand he was still holding. Through the peephole, he managed to see a few of his friends and he opened the door with a smile, not letting go of Ella’s hand even under the questioning eyes.

Alex introduced them to Ella and she brightly smiled at them and reciprocated their niceties. She was trying not to chuckle at how hard it had been for Alex not to introduce her as his girlfriend, his awkward silence after saying her name out loud was comical. And it kept happening with each person that came through the door that he introduced to her, all of them expecting the title to be said after Alex lingered on his words instead of sounding resolute.

He was so cute.

Around five in the afternoon was when Jamie and Katie showed up, and at the sight of the first couple of the group to arrive, the pressure to keep their secret under wraps fell heavily on their shoulders.

It only got worse when Nick and Kelly got there and they asked when was it that Ella had gotten there and she’d struggled to answer; Alex had aided her by saying she’d gotten there early to help him around setting everything up and once that was out, Kelly was too focused on scolding Alex for not letting them know he needed help instead of lingering on Ella’s mishap.

Ella was probably on her second glass of wine when Miles came knocking on the front door. Alex had been knee deep in a conversation with Nick and some guy they knew from the city, and the music that came from the speakers he’d set up outside was a little too loud so he didn’t hear the doorbell ringing. Therefore, Ella was the one to go up to the front door and open it. In a blink of a second she was being squeezed tightly by Miles’ arms, swaying side to side and panicking about spilling her wine on Alex’s brand new wooden floorboards.

The scouser didn’t let her stray away from him for a second, not even when he went right into the kitchen and got himself a drink, topping off Ella’s until she squeaked at how much wine he wanted her to ingest.

When Ella walked out with Miles in hand, Alex raised his brows in amusement and excused himself from the conversation he’d been in. Only when Alex went for a hug did Miles let go of Ella and Alex laughed over the scouser’s shoulder when Ella sighed in relief. Still, even then, it seemed like Miles had been suffering withdrawals of their presence for he took the both of them around the party with him to greet everyone and start conversations.

There were no complaints to have though, Miles was a joker and he never failed at making Ella spill tears from how hard she’d laugh at the shit he’d say.

He was so distracting with his jokes and comments that Ella didn’t notice she’d drank her almost full glass of wine in just twenty minutes so she went back inside to get herself a drink of water and then a refill of her wine. Alex followed her inside and no one questioned it, it wasn’t like they didn’t behave like that all the time.

The singer smirked when seeing Ella taking sips of a glass of water as she leaned on her ass on the side of the kitchen island. He walked slowly towards her and caged her in her place by leaving his glass on the marble and placing each hand over the surface of it on each side of her hips.

She put her glass down behind her, lipstick stain on the rim of the glass that had him licking his lips in hunger. After having his mouth on her for twenty four hours, spending almost two hours now without kissing her once was agonizing. He was craving the feeling of her lips on his and he didn’t care if anyone could walk back into the house and find them.

But just as Alex was leaning in, the doorbell rang again and he slumped against her with a sorrowful sigh. A mocking laugh fell from her lips, she was enjoying seeing him slowly crumble away with need. It was hard for her too, lord knew she’d been itching to have her lips all over him for hours now, but it was funny seeing him suffer like that, so obvious.

Pressing her hands on his shoulders, she cocked her head and in an obnoxiously chipper tone, she instructed, “Go on. Be a good host.”

He wouldn’t let her have the pleasure of watching as he struggled to properly greet someone else, so he grabbed her wrist and pulled her along towards the front door.

The second the door opened, Alex and Ella’s faces lit up at the sight of who was standing there. “Zack!” They both said at the same time, but the photographer wasn’t alone and the stunning woman beside him smiled brightly at them as Zackery introduced her as Lola.

“Lola, nice to meet you, I’m Alex,” the singer said with that charming smile of his, turning to his side to add, “And this is Ella…”

Once again, Alex trailed off awkwardly and Zack knew exactly what was going on. He chuckled and added for Alex, “His girlfriend. Finally!”

Alex’s face fell, “How–”

Ella couldn’t help cackling at how naive he was toward his own failure at concealing the news, “Baby, you haven’t exactly been subtle about it. I wouldn’t be surprised if half the people you’ve introduced me to know I’m your girlfriend too.” She watched as Alex cocked his head, slightly embarrassed, so she turned to the photographer and pointed at him to warn, “But don’t tell anyone, Zack. We're trying to see how long it takes the lads and the girls to notice.”

“Are they all here yet?” Zack asked, enthused to introduce Lola to everyone. They’d only properly met a month before—he’d worked with her on a shoot about a year and a half before and they realized they had friends in common but their schedules never aligned—and gone on about three dates but he had a good feeling about her and he felt the need to introduce her into the friendship group as soon as possible.

Alex nodded, “Just Matt and Bre missing.”

“Right.” Zack shook his head, not surprised at all that the couple who lived closest was late.

But before the photographer could go on, Ella grabbed Lola’s hand and with a smile she said, “I’ll steal this gorgeous lady from you and I’m gonna introduce her to the girls!”

Katie and Kelly sat next to Mia, Davey’s girlfriend, on the pool chairs when Ella came back outside with Lola in tow. Turns out that Lola was a model—which didn’t shock anyone with how absolutely gorgeous she was—and she currently lived in New York, but was visiting LA for a modeling gig that she’d taken upon to have the excuse to see Zack again after he’d just left the big apple a little over a week before.

The sky was painted a beautiful pink and orange as the sun started to set when the girls were giggling and cooing like fools hearing the way her and Zack’s first date had gone like, but then their attention was caught by Alex and Zack coming back outside, followed by Matt and Breana.

Alex and Ella shared a knowing look then, it was now that it all properly started and Ella had to bite her tongue not to giggle like an idiot at the little secret she was meant to keep for a little longer. She thought that if no one was to call them out about it before they left, they’d come clean about it. Her heart jumped in her chest at the prospect of finally letting them all know.

When Matt and Breana finally incorporated the group, Ella knew she and Alex would have to try a little harder so they wouldn’t be too obvious. But that proved to be harder than they expected for they’d always been very touchy feely with each other.

At the start, keeping their hands to themselves had earned them a few looks and Kelly asking if they were alright. Ella had nodded and when the pregnant woman explained how odd it was to see them distancing themselves from the other, the director forced out a few giggles and excused herself as being a little too hot to be hugging Alex. That had proven futile when Katie then asked why she was so covered during a hot summer night, telling her she should’ve chosen a cute little sundress and even offering to take her to Bre and Matt’s so she could borrow a shorter, lighter dress.

So she and Alex started tentatively invading each other’s space more and more every passing minute, realizing just how foolish they’d always been when their behavior towards each other had always translated to something more. Ella let herself melt into him and Alex kept dropping kisses on her skin, they giggled into each other’s ears and fiddled with each other’s fingers as they spoke.

But there was something there, something out of the ordinary that everyone felt. It was palpable and the pair got multiple questioning looks throughout the night, all of which they ignored until Ella said she was gonna get another drink and Alex went along with her.

When they got back inside and into the kitchen, Alex caged her in against the marble of the kitchen island again. This time the wine that she’d been nursing and those whiskey and cokes Alex had been drinking made them a bit more careless about their actions and when they leaned in for a kiss, which exuded need from the second their lips touched, they lost all sense of logic.

Her hands came up to his face and her fingers carted through his hair only to tangle in the strands and pull on them. Alex moaned into her mouth as he pressed his hips forward into hers, and if it wasn’t for the fact that Jamie had been loud when calling out for the two of them, they definitely would’ve been caught prematurely.

Alex had basically thrown himself to the other side of the kitchen island and rubbed the back of his hand over his lips, as if he’d been drinking something and spilled down his chin, when Jamie got to the edge of the open plan kitchen. All the while, Ella had taken sudden interest in every label of each bottle that sat over the marble.

The guitarist knew something was going on, especially when he asked them if all was fine and their answers struggled to go past their lips.

So when Jamie went back outside with a new bottle of beer and a glass filled with rose for his wife, he made sure to tell everyone of his suspicions. Bless Zackery and Lola, they played along as the others threw theories around, nodding and humming as they indulged in the chat and trying their best to not expose the little secret Ella and Alex trusted them with.

“They’re together.” Jamie said entirely sure of his gut feeling, “They’ve gotta be.”

Matt scoffed, “How’d you know?”

The guitarist ignored his tone and explained, “You know the tension that’s always there when they’re together with us. It’s different now, I can’t really explain it but it is.” Katie hummed as she thought about it and actually agreed with him when she started connecting the dots.

The drummer once again, ever the skeptic, continued interrogating Jamie, “So what, you think they’ve been together since when?”

“I’d bet after Tennessee.” Nick smirked, actually believing Jamie could be onto something.

Jamie looked at the bassist and smirked back, “Me too.”

“No, ‘cos then Bre would know. Right babe?” Matt turned to his fiance to ask and she nodded.

“Mhm. And Ella hasn’t said anything.” The model fiddled with her fingers before actually continuing with why she sided with her fiance's logic, “She actually was struggling about her feelings towards him a few days ago.”

But that wasn’t enough to deter Nick, “I would still bet on it.”

Or Jamie, “Me too.”

“You would?” Matt asked, incredulously, and when the pair nodded, he shrugged, “Okay. A hundred quid they’re not together yet.”

“Fine.” Jamie agreed, a gallic shrug that matched his unbothered expression.

Nick seemed just as nonchalant, actually very smug about the agreement, “Helders, this is easy money.”

The drummer was set on his own logic though, so he scoffed and chatted back, “Easy money for me. They’re not together yet but I’m about to change that.”

Jamie and Nick snorted, “Okay, cupid.”

No one knew what exactly Matt was planning on doing to ‘change that’ but he put his plan to work as soon as Ella and Alex were back.

Matt basically let the pair join the conversation he’d started as a distraction for a few minutes before he asked Alex something random about the house. He made Alex take him to see what he was asking about, something about one of his guest rooms, and suggested Ella came along.

The whole group trying hard not to laugh at Matt’s incredibly improvised plan almost ruined his cover, but they managed to hold in their laughter until the three of them walked past the glass doors and back into the house.

“Ladies first,” Matt had said once they got to one of the guest rooms so that Ella would walk in first and, in a blink of an eye, Matt pushed Alex in without warning and slammed the door closed before loudly giving them notice, “You’re not coming out until I say so.”

Ella snorted when hearing that, because the doors locked from the inside so she was pretty sure he didn’t have a say at all in that, “Whatever that means.”

But at the opportunity to have each other alone, together for a little while, Ella and Alex took it and happily sat themselves at the edge of the bed.

Alex grabbed her legs and threw them over his lap, a big calloused hand coming to hold her thigh as he sighed, “Finally some peace and quiet.”

“Matt did something right for once.” Ella joked a little louder so, if Matt was still out there, he’d listen to her taunting.

But Matt had decided to go back to the kitchen to wait after giving everyone a thumbs up outside through the glass. So he didn’t hear as Alex shook his head and corrected his girlfriend, “Nah, he already did once asking Breana to marry him. This is the second time.”

Ella hummed in agreement, “That’s right.”

Alex didn’t let another second go to kiss her again, his hand cupping her jaw harshly as his lips intently moved with hers. His tongue slipped past her parted lips and licked into her mouth, moaning when he tasted the red wine she’d been drinking all afternoon. A giggle came from her at his desperation, but he continued making it known with the way his hands started roaming down her body, groping her tits through her dress and stealing the oxygen from her lungs further when he pinched her nipples with his nimble fingers.

Before she could lose herself in him entirely, Ella pulled away and grabbed his wrists as she tutted, “Uh-uh.”

“But–” Alex was quick to try and fight, his wet lips falling into a pout.

She fought the urge to kiss it away and joked, “You can do this, babe. I believe in you.”

“You’re a cruel tease.” Alex groaned, letting his head fall on her shoulder.

“You better get used to it.” Ella replied while bringing her fingers to his head, scratching his scalp softly and making him moan.

He dropped a kiss on the side of her neck and she could feel his smirk against her skin as he said, “Not going anywhere, are you?”

Pulling his hair, she made him come out of his hiding place and look at her, “Do you want me to?”

The shake of his head was decisive, just like his words, “Absolutely not.”

The sweetness that coated her tone as she easily said, “Well I wasn’t planning to,” made Alex fall back onto her lips.

This time, it was sweeter. The I love yous they had shared in the past day all said wordlessly though the movement of their mouths on each other’s. Gracefully stealing each other’s breath and melting into each other’s touch. It was heavenly, and it meant so much more now that they knew how devoted and entirely crazy they were about each other.

The memory of the last time they’d been forced into a room for minutes made her smile like a fool, leaving Alex to kiss her teeth twice before she pulled back, “Have you noticed how stupid we’ve been all along?” She wondered how different everything would’ve been if she’d just told him she liked him back then, because she knew she did.

Alex snorted, “Yeah. Think we came to that conclusion last night, didn’t we?”

“Hmm, yeah.” She agreed, but she realized that very afternoon how oblivious they had been to their own behavior towards each other, how everyone had been right all along, “We’ve always acted like this though, just never kissed.”

“Or shagged.” Alex smirked.

“Or shagged.” She repeated with a smirk of her own tugging at the corners of her mouth. “The girls were right.”

“About what?”

She knew then she had loads of things to tell him, “How we really shouldn’t have called this just a friendship.”

He hummed, understanding what she meant, “There’s always been more.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” She declared, eyes filled with devotion as she stared at his pretty face.

Yet, there was still a lot of regret that settled in the pit of his stomach when he thought about it so he admitted, “There were some things I shouldn’t have done.”

Ella shook her head, knowing that he’d keep on haunting himself with guilt that he needed to shed off him already, she had forgiven all of his wrongs a long time ago. Rubbing soothing circled on his jaw, she whispered, “But it got us here, sweets. And that’s all that matters.”

“I fucking love you.” Alex mumbled against her lips, eyes fluttering close at their proximity.

Puckering her lips, she dropped a chaste kiss on his mouth before reciprocating with ease, “I fucking love you too.”

Loving him was second nature, it just happened and she wouldn’t ever forget because she just did. Alex felt just the same, and he could prove it with the way their lips slotted together perfectly, how right it felt to be held by her as they kissed and how his body couldn’t stop responding to her touch and her presence all over him with soft moans and gasps, the twitch of his cock in his jeans, the buzzing of every nerve ending in his body.

When their lungs burned and they needed to pull back to catch their breath, they just hugged with the biggest grins on their faces. All their worries about distance and the uncertainty of the future disappeared when the constant of their love was so strong and they felt it seeping through their pores.

But they couldn’t revel in the feeling for long since Matt burst through the door and startled them. “Fucking hell!” Alex cursed loudly as Ella clutched a hand over her chest and she tried to regain her breath.

Matt ignored them entirely and rose his brows to question a vague, “So?”

“So, what?” Alex bit back with annoyance written all over his face.

“Did you–” Matt started this time, but ended his sentence with more vagueness, “You know.”

Ella frowned, pursing her lips before chatting back, “Erm… We don’t know, actually.”

“Fucks sake.” The drummer rubbed his face in frustration, “This was my attempt to get you talking…”

Still completely confused, Alex asked, “About what?”

What the pair, who were still hugging, didn’t expect was for Matt to rid off his vagueness and spout out, “About how you’ve been wanting to fuck each other since 2011?”

“Woah, mate,” Alex said at the same time as Ella gasped, “Matt, Jesus Christ!”

Matt scoffed for the millionth time that evening, “Oh, don’t you two start fucking lying. Alex, I caught you–“

Alex knew what he was about to say and though Ella knew already, somehow, he still didn’t want Matt saying that aloud, so he interrupted before Matt could ruin the moment further, “We were talking…”

Ella knew by the way Alex squeezed her thigh that this was it so she smiled brightly as she started, “Yes. I was talking… to my boyfriend.”

It was Matt’s turn to loudly gasp, “What?! Wait, what? That quick?!”

Trying not to burst out laughing, Alex nodded, “Erm, well. You’re only,” he checked the watch that adorned his wrist and finished, “About a day late mate.”

“Fuck off.” The drummer let out in disbelief, “You’re joking.”

Ella shook her head and proudly denied, “We’re not.”

“Really?!” Matt made sure to ask again.

Alex and Ella nodded.

And again, “You’re not taking the piss?”

Ella rolled her eyes and mockingly suggested, “Do you want me to shag him in front of you for proof, Helders?”

Matt gagged loudly then, “God, no. No. Absolutely not.”

The director hummed, “Yeah, thought so.”

With despair, Matt sighed and rubbed his face again, knowing what this meant, “You’ve just made me lose a bet against Jamie and Nick, you insufferable cunts.”

Alex snorted at the clear pain in his voice, he couldn’t not ask, “How much?”

Matt replied with the meekest tone and the most irritated expression on his face, “A hundred quid. Each.”

Ella couldn’t hold back the loud cackle that rumbled through her, contagious as Alex laughed beside her, “What a shame, Matthew.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He rolled his eyes knowing they had no pity for him. And then he properly looked at them and saw how close they were, so he grimaced, “God, I regret locking you in here now. Ugh!”

Alex’s brows rose and he reminded his best mate, “S’my house.”

But the drummer ignored his words as he was lost in his head. He shuddered and shared one of his thoughts out loud, “I don’t even know if you’re gonna be worse now or not. Honestly, I'm scared.”

Ella let out another cackle and narrowed her eyes at him, “Shut up, you drama queen!”

“Does Bre know already?” Matt asked, thinking for a second that maybe his fiance had been in it all along and hadn’t said anything to see him suffer over losing a bet, like the tease she was.

But when Ella seriously answered, “No.”

Matt smirked, “Oh, she’s gonna kill you,” and dashed out of the room.

“Matt, no!” Ella yelled out for him but he was long gone. She let her head fall back onto Alex’s shoulder and she sighed, “I hate him.”

“I know.” Alex said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “At least they know now. Can kiss you all I want.”

“Yeah you can.” Ella perked up and sat back up straight, her gaze falling to her boyfriend’s lips and stealing a long sweet kiss before she stood up and called, “Let’s go. But you’re gonna have to hold me back so I don’t commit a crime.”

Alex grinned brightly, “Of course, darling.”

She offered her hand to help him up and he took it, intertwining their fingers as he stood up beside her and once he was on his feet, she started walking towards the door with him following closely behind.

“Hey.” Alex said before they crossed the threshold of the room, tugging on her hand so she turned and crashed against his chest.

Breathless, she looked into his eyes, “Yeah?”

“I love you.” He said quietly, just for her to hear before they could go out and be disturbed by the million questions he knew everyone would ask.

Ella blushed as she smiled at him, her stomach doing somersaults in response to how adorable he was, “You’re so fucking cute.” She kissed him again before mumbling back, “Love you too.”

Apparently, once they walked through the sliding glass doors, the news had spread like wildfire and everyone was gasping and hollering seeing them hand in hand on their way towards the group.

Ella caught the look on Breana’s face in a second, knowing exactly what was going through her head. So she tried to warn her best friend with a, “Don’t–”

That was cut short when Bre said exactly what she’d been thinking, “I told you so.”

“And she said it.” Ella sighed in defeat, earning the laugh of everyone around as well as questions about what she meant by that which Ella quieted down by promising to tell them in a bit.

As they watched Matt grumpily take out the cash from his wallet and handing their respective amount to Nick and Jamie, Miles hugged the new couple and congratulated them for finally realizing how in love they were with each other. Everyone gasped when Alex and Ella thanked Zack and Lola for keeping it hush for a few hours. And the new couple laughed loudly when Zack countered their surprise by calling them out on being too slow to notice what was obviously there.

Now that they could kiss and properly act like a couple, the party felt far sweeter. They went around the party, chatting and meeting more of Alex’s friends, laughing and sharing stories with everyone. The music got a bit louder, and the drinks flowed easier and faster, as well as the food which became more and more scarce as the time passed.

When Josh got there, it was hilarious to hear him yell, “Finally!” when he walked outside and the first thing Matt uttered was that Alex and Ella were together.

It truly felt like they were all celebrating the fact that they’d gotten together at that point and it only made the two of them more and more elated.

When Alex had gone to get Ella another glass of wine, she’d walked over to the speaker and queued up You Make Loving Fun by Fleetwood Mac to play next. Just in time for it to start playing, Alex walked back outside and found a smiley Ella staring at him expectantly, waving him over towards her with a cheeky grin.

Matt heard the harmonies loudly coming out of the speakers and he was about to complain about Ella choosing a song she knew he very much didn’t like when turned around and saw her starting to sing along, directing every word to Alex.

She walked to the beat of the song, meeting Alex in the middle as he made his way towards her. He was completely entranced by the way she looked, staring at her adoringly as she swayed her hips to the staring beat of the song.

Plucking the wine glass from his hand so he had a free hand to hold her, her arms flew around his neck and he swiftly wrapped his around her waist, swaying with her as she sang the lyrics out to him.

Sweet wonderful you / You make me happy with the things you do / Oh, can it be so / This feeling follows me wherever I go

She continued to sing with a massive smile on her face. She let her head hang back and then came back close to his face with her eyes open and sparkling with love.She pecked his lips quickly, leaving him dazed like she always did when she kissed him, and he swore he had never felt more adoration for someone before. It felt like his chest was about to burst, warmth tickling every inch of him, his lips itching to kiss her properly, his body burning to adore her over and over.

I never did believe in miracles / But I've a feeling it's time to try / I never did believe in the ways of magic / But I'm beginning to wonder why

Her hands went to cup his jaw as she sang the chorus again, staring right into his eyes. They were far too preoccupied with enjoying each other that they hadn’t noticed all eyes on them. She swayed her hips as he held her close and when she’d brought her arms up in the air in pure elation, he had grabbed one of her hands to twirl her around twice and then pull her back into her chest.

Don't, don't break the spell / It would be different and you know it will / You, you make loving fun / And I don't have to tell you but you're the only one

She sang that softly against his lips, Alex stole a kiss that he’d wanted to deepen but she broke it when she leaned back not wanting to miss singing the last bit of the song. Yes, she loved the song but she wanted him to know how hard she’d fallen for him and since she couldn’t do it with her own words, she’d do it with a song.

You, you make loving fun / It's all I want to do / You, you make loving fun / It's all I want to do / You, you make loving fun / It's all I want to do / You, you make loving fun / It's all I want to do

Alex held her close, hiding his face in the crook of her neck leaving pecks all over the skin he had available and making her giggle as the song died down. He squeezed her waist as he pulled back up to look her in the eyes and she brought her hands up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck.

Some other song started playing in the background but they were entranced with their gazes swimming all around each other’s faces, taking in each other under the golden haze of the patio’s lights.

“I love you so much, darling.” Alex was the first to break their silence and she was so glad his hold was tight around her waist because she felt her knees go weak when she heard him say that yet again. The alcohol in her system made her so much more sensible to everything that she now had with him and she could just collapse on the floor from the amount of love she felt for him.

One of her hands came to hold his neck and breathlessly she reciprocated, “I love you more, sweetness.”

Alex shook his head as he leaned in. “Impossible,” he muttered before catching her lips, both of them sighing in relief at the feeling of their lips together again.

Ella’s fingers pressed around his neck, making him blissfully hum in response. Her tongue teased his bottom lip, and he obeyed the silent indication to open his mouth. They swallowed each other’s soft moans when they tasted the alcohol on each other’s tongues, Alex bringing her in closer to his front, tightening his hold on her waist. He held back from the need to squeeze her ass and buck his hips forwards. He wanted her so badly, he needed her right there and then.

“Please tell me it’s an incredibly great idea to kick everyone out right now.” He begged, out of breath after they broke the kiss to get some oxygen back in their lungs.

She chuckled against his lips and shook her head, pulling back a little more to brush his hair back and then let her fingers trail delicately down his pretty face. She knew exactly what he was feeling, because it burned her too but waiting a bit longer, until everyone left, would make it all taste and feel much sweeter.

“It isn’t, love.” She disagreed, a smile on her face from her attempt at trying not to laugh at his despaired face.

His hold on her waist tightened as he pushed his hips forwards subtly, or at least he hoped because he couldn’t help himself. Ella swallowed a moan by biting harshly on her bottom lip, she could feel him starting to get hard and it was all very tempting, especially the tone in his voice when he argued, “But–”

But Ella held the best she could onto her logic and tutted as she remembered what was waiting for them if he pulled through with his promise of behaving tonight, “Good things come to those who wait.”

The reminder of her earlier words were enough for Alex to swallow his pain and bury the hunger she could only satiate for a little longer. He’d do anything she asked for, especially when it promised her to make him all hers afterwards.

It only took a few minutes for Ella to be snatched away by the girls and Alex to be left to fend for himself with the lads. It seemed like after that show of pda, everyone had loads of questions and a separate interrogation for the both of them couldn’t wait more than a few minutes.

Alex tried his best to answer the questions the guys were asking him but he was too distracted by watching Ella sitting on one of the pool chairs, surrounded by the girls, blushing and giggling and covering her face as they scooped everything out of her, question by question.

The faint sound of the doorbell was the perfect excuse for Alex to escape his nosy friends, so he excused himself in a split second to walk back inside and open the front door.

“You’re here!” He greeted with a smile when he opened the door and found Alex standing there, “Hi!”

“Al! Hello!” Her tone was chipper as she greeted him. A whistle came from her when she took a look around his new place, she complimented, “This house is stunning.”

“Ah thank you, thank you.” Alex replied with a soft grin, waving her over to the left side of the room where the gorgeous kitchen was set, “Come in, there’s drinks in the kitchen.”

As Alexa walked in and approached the bottles set on the kitchen island, Alex couldn’t stop himself from eagerly telling her that Ella was there and he was going to get her so she could meet her.

Alexa nodded excitedly, joking about him taking his time because she was indecisive and there were too many types of alcohol to choose from.

The singer wasted no time walking back outside and slowly approaching the group of girls. Leaning in behind Ella, he interrupted the conversation as he kissed her cheek and said, “Love?”

Ella smiled like an idiot and mumbled, “Sweetness?”

“There’s someone I want you to meet.” Alex said vaguely.

A spark of curiosity lit up inside her as she let out a soft, “Oh?” So it wasn’t long that it took her to excuse herself and hold Alex’s hand as he guided her back inside the house.

When they crossed the living room and walked past the edge of the kitchen, Ella was shocked to see Alexa standing in the kitchen.

The quiet, “Oh,” that Ella let out made Alexa look up from her glass she’d just filled with white wine.

“Hi!” The model said excitedly, that bright smile of hers reaching her eyes as they crinkle around the edges in such an endearing way. “I’m Alexa, nice to finally meet you!”

Ella was breathless but she reciprocated the enthusiastic sentiment, “Hi! Nice to meet you too.”

Alexa went for a quick hug that Ella welcomed and when the model pulled back, she gasped, “You’re even prettier in person, bloody hell.”

“Oh stop it.” Ella blushed hard when Alexa said that. Ella had just been breathless over the fact that she was even more perfect in person, as if that was humanly possible. When seeing Ella struggle to find her words, Alex wrapped an arm around her waist and giggled, dropping a kiss on her cheek, bringing her back to reality with the feeling of his lips on her skin. Ella smiled and told Alexa, “I was about to say that about you.”

“Ah, you’re too kind.” Alexa said like she didn’t hear that on the daily, waving Ella off jokingly. The model smirked then, seeing Alex’s hold on Ella’s waist, taking it as a sign that it had finally happened, “So… he finally told you?”

Ella giggled pathetically, melting into his chest and nodded, “He did, yeah.”

Alexa cooed, placing her hands over her heart, “You two look adorable together. So happy for you guys.”

Alex hummed, “Thank you ‘Lexa.”

Going back to get her glass, Alexa took a sip and told Ella with a funny look on her face, “Gave him quite a pep talk in New York last week about it. He was just wasting precious time, wasn’t he?”

Ella’s stomach flipped at the mention of New York, this time with embarrassment rather than dread. She cocked her head to the side and pouted at the mention, “Ah, I think we were both making that mistake.”

Alexa cooed again like it all was a cute little tv show drama that now had reached its happy ending. She raised her glass as if making a toast, “Well, no point in dwelling in the past now that you’re finally together.”

“That’s very true.” Ella agreed, raising her own glass and smiling when Alexa got closer to clink them.

After another leisurely sip of her white wine, she inquired keenly, “Did he tell you about my request for a photoshoot?”

“Oh yeah, he did!” Ella smiled as she nodded, still cozied up in Alex’s arms. “Just let me know when and we can plan something, brainstorm ideas for concepts and play around with what we come up with.”

“Sounds amazing. I’ll definitely let you know when I get a hold of my schedule.” Alexa promised. A smirk came to her face when she knew what she could say to take the piss out of Alex who was just silently witnessing the conversation, “Though I would cancel anything for you to make me look as good as you do in those pictures.” She whispered loudly on purpose, and winked when she added, “He showed me his favorite ones.”

Ella couldn’t help blushing, but a smirk broke on her face as well. She squirmed in Alex’s hold, purposely brushing her ass on his front, she heard him hiss in her ear as she said, “Has he? You’ll have to let me know which ones are they ‘cause he has yet to tell me.”

“That’s just plain rude of you Alex.” Alexa scolded playfully with a faux frown on her face.

Ella shook her head and shrugged, “Seems like he doesn’t want any new ones.”

Alexa laughed loudly when Alex’s face fell at Ella’s words. He scoffed and pinched her waist, making his girlfriend yelp before he scolded, “Can’t believe you’ve met her a second and already teaming up against me.”

“Hmm I love her.” Alexa stated, snatching Ella away from his hold to throw her arm over Ella’s shoulders. She started walking away with Ella beside her, Alex calling her out for stealing his girlfriend behind them. When they walked out of the kitchen, Alexa gasped, noticing the amount of people outside, “Bloody hell. There’s loads of people here! Where are the girls? And where’s that menace of a Scouser? Is he here yet?”

Ella chuckled at the mention of Miles, “Yeah. He’s out by the pool, probably trying to throw Matt and Nick in.” He’d been joking about doing it since he arrived, so she had no doubt he would still be trying to find the perfect moment to do it.

“Oh I’m sure I can push him in without him noticing.” Alexa smirked, shedding herself off Ella’s side to give her and Alex a moment alone and calling out a “See you around!” before walking outside.

“That went better than I expected.” Ella thought out loud.

“Of course it did.” Alex said as he walked up behind her, kissing her temple when he was pressed against her back. “No one can’t just not fall in love with you as soon as they meet you.”

A string of giggles fell from Ella’s lips as she turned around to face him, her arms wrapping around his neck, she cocked her head to the side and teased, “Speaking from experience?”

“Definitely.”

Her laugh was cut short as he pressed his lips against hers, her amusement being swallowed by the way he eagerly licked into her mouth. Her fingers tangled into his hair and she pulled harshly on it when his hands fell from her waist to her ass, cupping it before harshly kneading it with greedy fingers.

She moaned into his mouth and he gracefully swallowed the sound before pulling back and declaring, “I love you.”

After stealing a little peck from his lips, she replied, “Love you more.”

But Alex shook his head in disapproval, and Ella knew just what he was about to say. So before he could deny her words by swearing it was ‘impossible’, she kissed him hard and eager, successfully leaving him stupefied when she pulled back to scorn him.

“Stop it before we actually fight over that.” He opened his mouth to speak but she glared at him and that look was the only thing it took for him to keep the words to himself. She sighed, “Looks like I’m actually gagging you tonight.”

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

After the housewarming party, the band had four more days in Los Angeles before they had to leave.

Since Ella had kept her word on Saturday night and rewarded Alex in ways he could have only dreamed of, the two of them woke up rather late on Sunday morning. They would’ve kept sleeping if it wasn’t for the fact that their friends were blowing up their phones and it had gotten so obnoxiously incessant that they had ended up having to answer one of their million calls.

It was Katie, the one calling this time, and she wanted them to join them for a trip to the beach and then out for drinks later in the night. They all knew Ella had to go to work on Monday and every day that followed until the band had to leave so they had to take advantage of the only full day they all had together to hang out and enjoy each other’s company. Knowing how long it’d be until she could see everyone again, Ella accepted in a heartbeat and her own enthusiasm was what finally got Alex up from bed.

She certainly didn’t regret agreeing to it when they all had the loveliest day at Manhattan beach, laughing and having drinks, taking pictures and running in and out of the water. She and Alex had been teased endlessly for the amount of love bites littered all over their bodies and the little marks and bruises in other parts of their bodies from things their friends didn’t even want to know about.

“You animals.” Nick had said when noticing the bruises on Ella’s ankles and the faint marks on Alex’s cheeks, which the bassist could guess what they were since he’d been complaining about his jaw aching here and there.

Later that night, after they all went back to their respective houses and hotel rooms, they met back up at a karaoke bar where they had way too much fun in just the few hours they managed to stay there. They had all begrudgingly left the place when it closed at two in the morning, pouting about the fun time being over way too soon.

It had been horrendously difficult for Ella to wake up on Monday when her alarm ripped her off her peaceful slumber. Alex’s arms around her waist and his legs tangled with hers tempted her to stay in bed but when she remembered all that she had to start that week at work, she knew she had to force herself out of bed as soon as she could.

When she was ready for the day, after making herself and Alex a quick breakfast that she left there for him, she went back to his room and kissed him goodbye. He had been half asleep still, but when he woke up without her next to him, he knew he hadn’t been dreaming. After he got ready for the day, he found the breakfast she’d made him and he’d sent her a horrendously cringe and clingy string of texts that she giggled about when she saw them at work.

That afternoon, she’d been surprised to come back to his house and walk into the completely blacked out house which was decorated with a path of candles and rose petals that she followed out and found the cutest little set up for that candlelit dinner he owed her.

She enjoyed it thoroughly, complimenting him over and over for how good it was and how well he’d done making her favorite dish. And when dinner was over, and they were finally in bed, she made sure to let him know just how much she’d appreciated it by using her mouth and her spit coated hand to bring him pleasure, whispering sweet nothings and telling him just how much in love she was with him over and over until he came all over her face.

Tuesday morning had brought even more of a challenge for her to wake up. She was too content in Alex’s arms and she had no intention of moving so she kept snoozing her alarm, time and time again, somehow managing to go back into deep slumber after every ring of her phone.

But Alex had woken up around the fourth time she did that, and despite him shaking her and whispering her name to get her to wake up, she continued softly breathing in and out, not peeling her eyes open for a thing.

He watched the time on the screen of her phone when the alarm rang again, and instead of snoozing it, he fully just turned it off and took it upon himself to wake her up. So he started kissing all over her face, down her neck and her clothed chest and abdomen but it wasn’t until he got to kissing her inner thighs that she started waking up.

Waking up with his lips burning a trail down her body assured for her to blink herself awake with need buzzing through every one of ehr nerve endings, pleasure dripped down her spine in white heat that ran down straight between her legs.

He stopped when he saw her open her eyes, knowing his plan had worked. But Ella cradled the back of his head and pouted, spreading her legs open and wordlessly coaxing him to continue and to go all the way because there was no way she’d be getting out of that bed without having his mouth lapping at her cunt like a starving man until she came.

That was the reason why she’d been late to work that day and after being distracted the whole time she was in the office, her brain filled with the memory of his head between her thighs and his tongue working her up to her orgasm, Ella knew she had to ask for the following day off to properly enjoy Alex’s last day in Los Angeles.

Her plans for Wednesday had been less lewd. They had both slept in, heavenly giving into their laziness and staying in bed for far longer than necessary. She’d woken him up when it got closer to midday by peppering kisses all over him and then coaxed him out of bed to the kitchen where she made breakfast as he watched.

Then, they both got ready for the rest of the day with a shower—which they definitely elongated as they got lost in each other’s touch and ended up with Alex pounding into Ella from behind against the glass walls of the shower—and once they changed, they rushed out the door to make their way to Los Feliz and catch the early day screenings at the theater to have the whole place to themselves. It was their first proper date to Los Feliz now that they were official and Ella had been skipping down the pavement and swinging their interlocked hands as they went around the boulevard.

A pout had made its way to her face when it was time to go back home, Alex had offered to drive and he’d kept a hand on her thigh and asked her to play her music so they could sing along together. He didn’t want to see her sad yet, even though his heart was breaking little by little as the clock's needles moved forward and closer to the time he had to leave for the airport.

Once back at Alex’s, the both of them started packing. Alex packed to leave for Europe to resume the tour and Ella to go back home now that Alex was leaving LA.

When Alex went to the bathroom to get a few of his things, he quickly realized just how much he loved seeing their things scattered around in the same space and knew it was far too soon but how could he not think about her moving in when all he wanted at that very moment was for them to be together all day, every day.

So, hours later, when they were ready to go and leave to the airport, Alex gave her one of the keys to his house.

Ella was slightly shocked so the soft, “Why?” slipped past her lips without her wanting to.

“So you can come and go as you please.” Alex replied with a sweet smile on his face, his voice so soft it felt like a caress in her ears.

“Alex,” she whined softly. Yes, it was way too soon, they hadn’t even been together for a full week by then but she really wanted to keep it. But it wasn’t that the reason why she complained, it was because she didn’t know if she could take the reminder that he wasn’t gonna be there for weeks.

“Someone’s gotta enjoy the pool.” Alex joked to soothe her, recognizing the despair that shined through her eyes, it was burning him inside.

She snorted, “That’s actually tempting.”

“I know it is. Fucking hundred degrees out here darling.”

Ella hummed, a blush creeping up her neck to her cheeks, her teeth sunk in her bottom lip as she debated, “Well someone’s gotta take care of your house, no?”

But that wasn’t why Alex wanted her to take the key. “Don’t even think about it,” he frowned and shook his head, letting her know what he had actually planned, “I’ll have people come over to clean it. I just want you to enjoy it.”

“But you’re not here.” Ella argued in a whisper. How could she enjoy it when it would be the reminder that he wasn’t there?

He pressed his forehead against hers and sighed, his eyes fluttering closed as he said, “I know, but it’ll make me happy to know you are here.”

She smirked, pulling back so he could open his eyes and look at her as she teased, “Already wanna wife me up, Turner?”

His smile reached his eyes hearing that, and he had to hold himself back from nodding eagerly at the suggestion. He was completely sure he wanted to call her his wife in the future, and even if it was crazy to admit this soon, he knew he also wanted her to be the mother of his children. His pupils dilated at the image of her swollen belly carrying his child, fucking hell did he love her with all that he was.

Instead of all that, he played it off suavely, “Well if you’re also considering it.”

Her cheeks hurt from how hard she was smiling, but she couldn’t help it when he said things like that. “You’re smooth,” she called out with a raise of her brows.

And, of course, her boyfriend puffed his chest out and nodded, “I know.”

“Okay c’mon, we gotta go.” She said as she put the new key in the front pocket of her jeans.

But Alex didn’t move, instead he leaned in and hugged her around the waist, hiding his face in the crook of her neck to mumble, “I don’t wanna.”

He surprised her by easily picking her up off the ground, making her drop her bag to the floor as she yelped and walking up to the settee to lay there with her on top of him, “Just wanna be here with you all day, every day.”

She hummed, picking her head up to look at him beneath her, pecking his lips once, twice and then pulling back to say, “Me too baby. But that’s the cost of being a rockstar, every country wants you to step in it.”

He sighed, her fingers starting to brush through his hair making his eyes grow heavy, “Wish I could just take you on tour with me.”

“Yeah, me too.” She agreed with ease, thinking that nothing would be better than that.

Alex continued fantasizing out loud, “Travel the world with you, live every experience with you, seeing the crazy crowds everywhere we go.”

“We’ll figure it out.” Ella promised with a kiss to the tip of his nose, the pads of her thumbs rubbing softly on his lids to make him open his eyes again, so he could see the determination in her eyes as she said, “Now we’re together and we got this yeah? It’ll be the same as before, you’re just actually my boyfriend now so I can tell everyone to fuck off when they interrupt our facetimes at work.”

He giggled like a fucking fool and hummed, “Mhm, baby. You tell them.” She snorted before dipping down to kiss his lips softly for a few seconds, pulling back only to hide in the crook of his neck and have one last cuddle before they had to go.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

By the time Ella and Alex walked into the airport and got to their airline section, everyone was there. They were all waiting in line to walk up to the check-in counters, and with the amount of stuff they needed to take with them, Ella knew it’d take a while.

So she went to sit next to Mia, who was also staying in Los Angeles like Ella, not going on tour with her boyfriend either. And thankfully they had each other, going through the same type of heartache, as they watched everyone go through slowly until it was time for them to head to security.

The security line was already so long and the airport was packed so they all needed to go in as soon as possible, which meant that goodbyes would have to happen right then and they’d have to be brief.

“I hate this.” Alex mumbled into her neck as they hugged goodbye.

“Fucking sucks.” Ella struggled to say as her eyes welled up with tears that she knew would spill as soon as she looked at his face.

Alex clutched her even tighter when hearing the heaviness in her voice, “We’ll be alright yeah? You’ll be sick of me by the time we come back to California.” He joked to settle her a little and he smiled when he heard her giggling.

“You wish.” She sniffled as the laughter had helped the tears start running down her cheeks. Sighing, she pulled back and cupped his face, “We got this, sweets.”

“We do.” He promised, bringing his hands up to her face to wipe away her tears. But they wouldn’t stop falling and he started tearing up at the sight. His hands held her face delicately but his words were determined as he said, “I love you so fucking much, darling. I’ll never let you forget it.”

Ella had to press her lips together in order not to sob, and taking a deep breath first, she managed to whisper, “Love you lots and lots and lots, sweetness.”

When their lips met, it tasted salty from the tears. That only made Alex move more intently against her mouth, hold her even closer to his body but not out of lust, because he needed the both of them to memorize how it felt to be properly pressed against each other. The way in which she held his face exuded longing, prematurely really because he was still there, but she was already mourning his presence beside her on the daily. The kiss was sad, a goodbye that hurt three times as much as the one they shared when he was leaving Tennessee.

But Alex couldn’t help but smile in content when he knew he would get to properly kiss her goodbye every time he were to leave from then on, like he’d been wanting to do for so long, “I can’t believe I can finally do that.”

“What?” She sniffled again, her sadness not only clouding her vision with tears but her thoughts for she couldn’t think about what he meant.

“Actually kiss you goodbye.” Alex answered breathlessly, a feeling coming over him in the most overwhelming way; a tear ran down his cheek and she quickly wiped it away.

Despite the ache that ripped through their chests, she knew what he meant by that. The final piece of the puzzle fell and the air changed around them when it all just felt right, once and for all.

Ella hummed, her pout changing into a massive grin as she concluded, “Finally.” 

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A/N: So... what did you think? I hope you enjoyed it and you can yell at me freely all you want, I know I made you lot go through it to get to this moment lolllll Hope you found it all worth the wait!!! Thank you for your constant support and your comments and messages, I appreciate them with all my heart!!! xxx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc @andrearroe @justacaliforniandreamer @alexturnersgf69 @yourorganiccigarette @chickenxdrum

[quitealotofsodapop]

Eventually, the family will be forced to move out of that tiny apartment overtop the restaurant. They really don't want to, but by the time the twins come around, the place is already overcrowded between five people that adding two more babies just isn't going to work unless some serious remodeling and magic is done. And remodeling like that would be costly and bring way too much attention. Pigsy will cry when they move to a bigger place, feeling like a dad letting his kid go out into their own place for the first time, and then immediately go back to scolding Wu for dropping an order the next day when he comes in for work

Sadly yes. After the news of impeding twins happens, Wukong and Macaque decide that they've outgrown the noodle shop apartment; no matter how much the golden-furred monkey and the pig cried about leaving it behind.

They manage to spot a decent plot of land half-way between the city and the Monkey Village of Mount Xianhuaguo (where the Shame Temple is).

The price and availability is suspiscious at first... until the couple checks it out and it turns out to be a case of the developer not paying tribute to the mountain's tudigong before clearing the forested plot of land, and abandoning the project when they thought it was cursed/haunted. Typical suspcious business-people.

Wukong has friends in odd places, and manages to reveal the working blueprints for a beautiful, traditional-style home to Macaque on their anniversary that year. Macaque is super touched by the gesture, though he had to make some amendments to Wukong's plan ("We are not having an climbing-rock wall, peaches." "Aww!" "Here's a climbing structure built specifically for curious baby monkeys, it looks like a tree growing through the rooms and it has hiding spots for when they get overstimulated." "OOOoo!" :O!).

The project gets a little away from them before they manage to finally get it all nice and built up before the Eclipse Twins arrive.

When moving day finally comes; Wukong, Tang and Pigsy are sobbing, holding eachother like parents letting their kid finally fly the nest. Sandy is helping them all with the move, having tricked out a version of the TEA for carrying a bunch of furniture. Macaque is too warm and heavy with the twins to do any lifting, so he's helping the kids with their last bits of packing.

Little MK is barely holding it together as he says goodbye to all the empty rooms. Mei suggests carving their names and a wish of good luck to the future tenants into the baseboard of the old nursery (Macaque said no, but he def heard the little dragon claws scratch something into the wood as he turned away). Nezha can't help but feel a little sad that he's leaving the little space he'd come to love - but the thought of sharing a bedroom with "snores like a train"-MK quickly changes his mind. Chenxiang (the most recent addition to the family) feels more nausous than sad, he's only been here a few months and the apartment was starting to become a constant in his life - maybe the new house will be his forever home? Bai He is a little too young to recognise the significance to them all moving, but she immediately wants to Go Now since the monkeys promised that she'd get her own bed and that there would be room for maybe another pet ("KITTY!!!") besides cranky old Pangu the tortoise (who's happy to have an actual garden to roam around in).

Goodbyes are said, addresses saved and shared, and the monkey family finally bid the noodle shop apartment farewell...

Until the next morning, when Wukong jumps from his futon at the sound of Pigsy on the phone yelling to get his butt in gear if he wants to make it into work on time. Wukong smiles at the familiarity.

[lucagray813]

Change

Rating: T

Word Count: 6,525

Characters: MK, Pigsy

Relationships: MK & Pigsy, Background QPR Freenoodles

Summary: Some unexpected revelations about Pigsy's relationship with Tang lead to a long overdue talk about MK's monkey form.

Additional Tags: Dadsy, Insecurity, Stress, Revelations, Reflection, MK Has Issues, Post Season 4

CW: Swearing, smoking, brief mention of unnamed character death

Link to AO3 Version

Additional Note: Part of the Monkey Talk series and contains small references to other fics but it can be read by itself.

----

Flying back home on his nimbus always gave MK an unfortunate amount of thinking time and today, in particular, his thoughts were threatening to spiral.

He'd been forced to come to terms with a lot of earth shattering revelations recently - a lot of them to do with monkeys in one form or another - and he thought he deserved a pat on the back for how well he'd, sort of, handled them all overall.

Sure, maybe he still wasn't quite there with the whole "monkey form" thing yet but he was working on it!

The point was though that he'd dealt with much bigger bombshells than the one he was currently facing and he couldn't understand why this one was so difficult to accept in comparison.

But for as long as he could remember it had simply been one of the fundamental, universal truths - the sky was blue, water was wet and Pigsy and Mr. Tang were married in all but name.

He could admit that he had never really given much thought to Pigsy's love life but then why would he? What was there to think about? He and Mr. Tang had a happy and steadfast relationship and that was all there was to it.

That's what he'd always believed at least, but an off-handed comment had revealed that that apparently wasn't the case at all!

Or well, it sort of wasn't the case?

Mei had confidently declared what they had must be a "QPR" instead and while that sounded pretty cool, it was the reassurance that they had some sort of special relationship that was stopping him from just curling in a ball and crying for reasons he couldn't really understand.

It would be different if he'd learnt that Pigsy and Mr. Tang were "breaking up", then he could have been justifiably distraught at his impending status as a child of divorce, but literally nothing had changed about their relationship.

It felt like it had changed everything though, compounding the ever lurking fear that everything he knew was wrong. And it was one thing to have doubts about who he was but to have doubts about who Pigsy was on top of that?

He couldn't handle it.

Pigsy and Pigsy's Noodles were literally the only two constants of his life and he needed them to stay that way.

He wouldn't be able to keep it together otherwise.

His home had to be there waiting for him.

And it was, he desperately tried to reason with himself, it would be coming into view any second now and then he would find Pigsy downstairs, cooking in the restaurant, blissfully unaware of the small drama his relationship status had caused on the island today.

So what if Pigsy and Mr. Tang had a different label for their relationship than he thought they did? It didn't change anything between them and it definitely didn't change anything about him, Pigsy or his home.

See, there was Pigsy's Noodles now, exactly as he'd left it!

...

He frowned as he squinted at the roof.

Was that Pigsy sitting by the door?

Alright, that was a little unexpected but he must have just needed some fresh air! And why not the roof? It was probably a tiny bit more peaceful than standing out on the street after all. Yup, totally fine, no cause for alarm here.

And then he got close enough to see what Pigsy was doing.

Motivated by incredulous betrayal he jumped to his feet and urged his nimbus on faster, calling out Pigsy's name sharply.

Pigsy had enough time to jump to his own feet in alarm and look around wildy before he was slammed into in a puff of clouds. MK wasn't sure if it had been shock or instinct that had him immediately drop the cigarette in his hand upon impact but either way he was glad that it couldn't burn either of them as they tumbled gracelessly to the ground.

But it wasn't far enough away to save it from his wrath, and he wasted no time clambering up and stomping on the cigarette with extreme prejudice. If he'd been able to manage it without putting a hole through the building he would have used his eye lasers to vaporise it but as it was he just kicked it angrily away from him.

He redirected his glare at Pigsy, who returned it as he picked himself off the floor and rubbed at where his head had hit the concrete.

He didn't give him the chance to be the one to give a lecture, gesturing emphatically in the direction he'd kicked the cigarette as he needlessly accused, "You smoke!?"

Agitated, he began to pace as he ranted, "I can't believe this! The amount of times you lectured me about smoking! You told me that if I ever even thought about trying it you'd sell my signed Monkey King poster and use the money to go to Huāguǒ Land without me! And you made me look at all those horrifying pictures! I thought I was going to die if I so much as looked at a cigarette! And here you are-!"

Pigsy cut in, "Alright, I get it! I'm a hypocrite! You can stop!"

Incredulous, he responded, "Stop!? Oh, I don't think so! I was traumatised! And you-"

Pigsy hauled him forward by his t-shirt and all but growled in his face, "You think this is something I'm proud of? Hiding up here smoking? As if I don't feel bad enough - I don't need a fucking lecture from you on top of it!"

He recoiled at the smell of cigarettes on his breath and knocked his hand away as he took several steps back and retorted, "You're getting a lecture whether you like it or not! How long has this been going on?"

Pigsy didn't even get a chance to respond before MK stormed away to get a closer look at the spot where he'd been sitting. A loose brick that had been pulled out had caught his eye and upon closer inspection, it was clear that the hole behind it was being used to hide the ashtray and tobacco pouch currently lying beside it for the world to see.

The sight of it did nothing to calm him down and he whipped back around to yell again, "How long have you been hiding this?"

Pigsy threw his hands up, "What does it even matter? As if I'm going to be able to keep it up now! You and that fucking Golden Vision will make sure of that no doubt!"

Damn right, this wasn't going to be allowed to continue! As if Pigsy risking his life to save the world wasn't bad enough! He wasn't going to let something as pointless and stupid as smoking be what cut their time together short!

He wasn't nearly ready to back down however, "You're not getting off that easy! I want to know - how long has this been going on?"

Pigsy's temper was clearly a hair away from being ignited but he managed to respond through gritted teeth, "You want to know? Fine! I started when I was fourteen! Happy?"

His ears were ringing as his breathing started to pick up and he could feel his eyes burn as the reality of what that meant hit him.

He brought his hands to his eyes as he cried out, "Is everything I know a lie!?"

Pigsy sounded alarmed, "Wh-? MK, what are you-"

"First it was me and then it was you and Mr. Tang and now- and now you and-! Nothing is how it's supposed to be! You're not supposed to smoke! I'm not supposed to be a monkey! I- You-"

He felt a hand on his shoulder, "Ok, ok, slow down. C'mon, let's just sit down and talk about it, alright?"

He let Pigsy lead him to the wall next to the door and once he'd sat down, he curled his arms around his knees and buried his head against them, trying in vain to pull himself together. It was all for naught though, and the tears finally falling in earnest when Pigsy rubbed at his back.

"Let it out, kid."

It took a little while for him to calm down and he couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed as he wiped his eyes, "Sorry. That was so dumb. Crying over cigarettes."

Pigsy huffed as he leaned back against the wall, "Oh yeah, that's what you were upset about. C'mon, kid, that was obviously just the final straw, that had clearly been building up for a while."

He couldn't quite meet Pigsy's eyes as he half-admitted, "Maybe..." But he was quick to sit up straight and clarify, "But I am still upset about the smoking! Pigsy! It's so bad for you! Our lives are dangerous enough! You need to be on top form! You can't be hacking up a lung in the middle of a fight!"

Pigsy held his hands up, "Trust me, I know. And I've been trying to stop for the best part of two decades but I've actually been pretty successful - I hardly ever smoke these days, I swear. Just every once in a while if something stressful happens. And before you get into your head - no, just now had nothing to do with you."

Nervously he asked, "Then why were you smoking?"

Pigsy seemed to weigh his words, before he answered, "You didn't know them but I found out earlier that someone I used to know had passed away and... It was just a bit of a shock."

Whatever he had been expecting, it wasn't that and he felt like a heel for going off on him before he'd had the whole story. Sure, everything he'd said still stood but could he have picked a worse time?

Unsure of how to respond, he tried, "Oh. I- I'm sorry... Were they a friend...?"

Pigsy sighed, "Wouldn't call them that, no. Just someone I used to work with a long time ago. We hadn't really kept in touch so I'm not, y'know, devastated or anything but it did take me off guard."

He groaned and buried his head in his hands, "And then I came out of nowhere and tackled you to the ground before having a breakdown. I'm so sorry. I suck so bad."

Pigsy huffed a little as he rubbed at the lump on the back of his head, "Yeah, you got me good but let's just call it even. You couldn't have known and it's my own fault for keeping the smoking a secret. I always knew it would catch up to me sooner or later."

He glanced at the hole in the wall that had kept Pigsy's secret and asked, "Why did you hide it then?"

He raised an eyebrow, "What besides from not wanting to be a bad influence on you?" He then shrugged and admitted, "Your grandma hated me smoking as well. You think the lectures I gave you were bad? They had nothing on the shit she used to give me. It was just easier this way. And, like I said, it really wasn't often enough that it was hard to hide."

As unhappy as he was that Pigsy smoked, there was a guilty part of him that was glad he hadn't taken up the habit because of him - either before or after he'd picked up the staff. Although there was no way he hadn't contributed to Pigsy's need for a cigarette over the years.

He couldn't get over the fact that he'd never even suspected that he smoked. Was Pigsy just that good at hiding it or had he just been shockingly unobservant? He couldn't help but feel it was the latter given what else he'd been oblivious to growing up.

"Does Mr. Tang know?"

Pigsy looked a little confused by the question but he answered honestly, "Er, yeah, he knows. He's sat up here with me a couple of times. Never smoked himself though if that's what you're worried about?"

There was no part of him that believed Mr. Tang smoked, he probably wouldn't believe it even if he was stood smoking right in front of him, but he supposed it was nice to have it confirmed.

That wasn't the problem though.

"Why didn't you tell me you and Mr. Tang weren't dating?"

Pigsy stared at him blankly before slowly repeating, "Why didn't I tell you we weren't dating?"

He nodded, "Yeah! All my life I thought you two were, like, married and today I found out you aren't even dating! Why wouldn't you tell me that?"

Pigsy looked like he was doing his best not to have an aneurysm, and with a forced calm and patience he explained, "MK, people don't generally need to announce that they're not in a relationship when they've never been in one."

He had to concede that point but still he argued, "But you act like you're dating! Mei and Sandy couldn't believe it either!"

Pigsy's eye twitched, "Alright, how about you tell me exactly what happened on the island today?"

Taking a deep breath, he recounted the day, "Ok, so, Mei's cousin is having a baby, right? And Liu was super interested and was asking all these questions about her family, because she'd been reading all these books on family and childhood development and stuff like that recently. And that got us talking about how limited those books can be with, y'know, diversity and stuff so I mentioned how I was raised by you and grandma and how you're basically married to Mr. Tang. But then Mr. Tang was, like, all shocked? And then we started arguing about who would be the best man for both of you when you did get married and-"

Pigsy held up a hand to stop him, "Stop, go back. What exactly did Tang say?"

"Er... Well, first he said that you weren't married, then that you weren't dating and then that it was complicated and that you never gave it a label? Oh, and that you don't like men? And then Mei said you were in a QPR? Which is like a friendship/relationship combo thing, I think? Honestly, it sounds pretty neat! But not what I thought you two had going on, and not what he thought you had going on either by the sounds of it either, but-"

Pigsy held up his hand again, "Alright, I think that's enough. I've got the gist." He then groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "Where do I even start...?"

A little too hopeful, he suggested, "By telling me that you've got a plan to propose to Mr. Tang?"

Pigsy pushed him over with a shove to his face, "Alright, let's get one thing straight right off the bat - I'm not getting married. To anyone. And no amount of money or torture could ever convince otherwise. You got that?"

He held up his hands as best he could from his awkward position on the floor, "Got it. Not happening. No weddings here."

He pushed himself as Pigsy sagged back against the wall and grumbled, "Marriage... Ugh. I can already see how that conversation is going to go..."

He then addressed MK, "Alright, look, Tang and I... Have something, alright? I don't know what it is but whatever it is, it works and we're both happy with it and that's all you need to know."

Technically, that was all he needed to know but it was still hard to believe that he'd been wrong about what their relationship was in the first place and for so long as well.

Reluctantly, he responded, "I guess..."

Pigsy eyed him curiously, "You're really that upset up over the fact we're not dating?"

"I mean, sort of? I just always thought you were together, like together-together, and it's really throwing me for a loop that you aren't. Like, how could I have missed that? Although, it couldn't have been obvious, right? I mean, Sandy and Mei..."

Pigsy looked like he was trying not to cringe and MK felt any faith he had left in his observation skills leave him, "How obvious was it?"

Pigsy rubbed at the back of his head, "Well, you have met a couple of Tang's boyfriends over the years..."

He buried his face in his hands, as he groaned, "No..."

Pigsy pat his back in commiseration, "It's not that bad. You didn't see them that often. It's not that surprising you don't remember them..."

His attempt to make him feel better wasn't working and while he felt stupid for not noticing, he also felt weirdly betrayed by the fact that Mr. Tang had dated other people.

He peaked an eye out between his fingers, "He's not dated anyone recently, has he?"

To his relief, Pigsy shook his head, "Nah, he hasn't for a good few years now."

And he was sure that aligned with an increase in physical affection he'd noticed between the two of them in the last couple of years - couch cuddles, sleepovers, those kinds of things. Not that that mattered but he'd be lying if he said it didn't make him feel a tiny bit better.

He pulled his hands away from his face and responded, "Well, that's something I guess. Would have been pretty bad not to have realised a member of my hero team was dating someone else, right?"

Pigsy just shrugged, "Don't see how it makes a difference but then I don't really get why this is bothering you so much in the first place."

He fidgeted with his hands for a long moment before deciding he wanted to at least try explaining it to him, "It's not so much that you two aren't dating that's the problem as much as it's the fact that I didn't notice? Like, it's another thing I was so sure about but it turns out that I got it totally wrong. And I just... I feel like I'm starting to doubt everything that I thought I knew and I can't help but feel that the answers were staring me in the face the whole time and I just missed them."

Pigsy seemed to give it some serious thought before he asked, "This is about your monkey form, isn't it?"

He curled in on himself slightly, "I mean, it's not just that but... Yeah, that's definitely the biggest thing that I got wrong."

Pigsy frowned at him, "You didn't get it "wrong" - there was no way you could have known you were anything but human."

He argued, "But how can I be sure of that? What if I just missed all the signs?"

Pigsy shook his head, "Because it wouldn't have just been you that would have missed them - I would've had to have missed them, and so would grandma and Tang and Mei and the school and everyone else. If there had been any hint that you had a secret monkey form then someone would have noticed. I would have noticed."

He'd never really considered that fact before but still he retorted, "But it's not like someone was with me every second of the day! I'm the only one that was there for all of it, I should have noticed."

Getting agitated, Pigsy responded, "Noticed what? What "signs" do you possibly think you could have missed? Were you randomly growing patches of fur or sporting a tail? Were you compelled to swing from the lights when I wasn't looking?"

Louder than he meant, he burst out, "I- I don't know! I don't know what the signs were but they had to have been there!"

"No, they don't! Because they weren't! Kid, I'm telling you there's no way you could have known but even if there had been "signs" it wouldn't have changed anything!"

Incredulous, he responded, "What!? Pigsy, it would have changed everything! I could have figured out what I am by now, I could have realised that I was meant to be the Monkey King's successor way sooner! I could have been training with him from the very beginning and then I would have actually been ready to save the world instead of bumbling through being a hero and making everything worse!"

Pigsy looked taken aback, "What are you talking about? "Making everything worse"? The world wouldn't still be here without everything you've done!"

"The world wouldn't have been in danger in the first place if it hadn't been for me! Spider Queen, the Lady Bone Demon, Azure - I gave them what they needed! Without me none of their plans would have worked!"

Pigsy looked at him like he'd grown an extra head, "You can't seriously think that? MK, those nutjobs would have found a way to make their plans work whether you had been there or not!"

He'd heard it all before a hundred times from Wukong, from Mei, from all of his friends to at least some degree but nothing they could say could drown out the Lady Bone Demon's final words or the Ink Demon's cruel taunts.

He shook his head, "But if I had been ready I could have stopped their plans before they even had a chance to try them! I would have been smarter, stronger and I could have kept you all safe!"

A hand gripped his shoulder, "MK, you can't think like this. What happened, happened and obsessing over the what-ifs will drive you crazy. And you have to remember that you did keep us all safe, you kept the whole world safe, and no-one is sitting around thinking you could have done a better job."

He'd been given a lot of "focus what you can change and not on what you can't" talks recently and he really was trying to take that advice to heart - it was why he spent every moment he could training for whatever came next - but he just couldn't shake the feeling he could have done better if he'd only known what he was.

He made himself small as he looked away and quietly admitted, "I know. But I just want all of this to make sense... Why did all of this start after I picked up the staff? No-one was trying to destroy the world before that. I just want to know who I am, what I am, and why I seem to be at the middle of all of this."

Pigsy took a deep breath, "I know, kid. And I wish I had answers for you but the only thing I know for sure is who you are and that's MK."

He made it sound so easy, as if what he was didn't change everything.

If he couldn't look at his monkey form in the mirror and recognise himself then how could Pigsy look at him and see his son?

The answer to that question had plagued him since he'd discovered his new form and he knew it would only continue to haunt him until he faced it head on.

So gathering all the courage he had, he looked Pigsy in the eye as he let his monkey form take hold. As steadily as he could, he asked, "You really look at me like this and still think I'm just MK?"

Pigsy didn't shy away from his stare, "It doesn't matter what you look like, you'll always be MK to me. Human, demon, monkey - it doesn't matter."

Frustrated tears sprung to his eyes, "It does matter! This isn't me! I- I don't want this to be me!"

Pigsy squeezed his shoulder, "But it is you. Look, I get that there's a hundred reasons why you wouldn't want to be a demon but-"

Panicked, he blurted out, "It's not like that!"

Pigsy looked doubtful but he didn't call him out, instead asking, "Then what is it?"

He stumbled over his words, "It's- I- Ok, it's a little bit like that. I mean, I've seen how humans treat you and other demons and yeah, that scares me but that's not- that's not why-"

He cut himself off with a frustrated sound.

There was so much about this new form that scared him and trying to put it all into words felt impossible but deep down he knew what he was most afraid of.

Staring down at the fur peaking out from his sleeves, he admitted, "The more things change, the more I change, the more afraid I am that I'll lose you."

Clearly trying to lighten the mood, Pigsy responded, "Lose me? Heh, c'mon, kid, give me some credit. I've got powers of my own, y'know. I'm not going anywhere without a fight. Whatever comes next, I'll-"

His eyes burned as he hunched over, "No. You don't understand. I- Obviously, I'm afraid that you'll- But that's- Pigsy, I don't belong here."

"What?"

"I-I'm dangerous! And I'm not the person you thought I was!" He gestured to himself, "This isn't who you raised and one day you're going to realise you're better off without me and-"

The chop to the top of his head didn't actually hurt but the shock of it had him yelping as he brought his hands up to protect the nonexistent bump.

He couldn't help but cower slightly at the fury in Pigsy's eyes, "How many times do I have to tell you I'm not sending you away? Almost eighteen years and you still haven't gotten that through your thick skull! MK, no matter what happens this is your home, it will always be your home, I don't what I can do to make that any clearer!"

He removed his hands from his head and argued back, "Pigsy, look at me! This isn't the same as when I was some terrified kid! I'm dangerous! You can't just ignore that!"

"The only one in any danger here is you! And I couldn't ignore that if I tried! Throwing yourself head first into danger, bottling up how you're feeling, freaking out over the tiniest things... The stress will get me before you ever do! Do you have any idea how much I worry about you?"

Pigsy barreled on before he could even try to get a word in, "And all of this "not who I raised" bullshit! You having a tail doesn't change the fact you were my kid, that you still are my kid! I fed you, I dressed you, I-I did everything I could to take care of you and- and if that wasn't enough then I- I'm sorry. I-"

Eyes the sizes of saucers, MK frantically waved his hands in front of him, "No! No, no, no, that's not what I meant! That's not what I meant at all! You did enough! You did more than enough! More than I could have ever asked for! You didn't ask for me to show up on your doorstep but you still..."

He'd still taken care of him, he'd still worked himself to the bone to try and give him everything he needed, and he knew with absolute certainty that if he'd shown up at his door looking like this then that wouldn't have changed.

His eyes watered, "There's nothing I could do to ever repay you for everything you've done for me."

Pigsy wasn't looking very dry eyed either as he threw an arm around him and pulled him close to his side, "I'd do it all again, kid. I mean, I wouldn't let Tang be your babysitter a second time round but apart from that I wouldn't change a thing."

He laughed wetly as he wiped at his eye, "You're so mean to him."

"He gives as good as he gets. But trust me, he deserves it. You have no idea how much he's cost me in noodles and Monkey King merch over the years."

He gave another small laugh, shaking his head, before sobering, "You really mean it? You'd do it all again even knowing what you know now?"

Pigsy huffed, "Especially knowing what I know now - someone has to be here to talk some sense into you and make sure you're eating right!"

He didn't think Pigsy would ever know how comforting his dedication to food was, if there really was one constant he could trust had always been real, it was that.

Nothing felt more like home than a bowl of Pigsy's noodles.

He smile was brief but genuine before he sagged against Pigsy and admitted, "I'm just... so scared of all these changes. And even more scared of what might change next, with me, with the world... And sometimes, I just want to go back to when it all made sense."

Pigsy's heavy sigh rustled his hair, "I know. And I won't pretend everything that's happened hasn't scared me too or that I'm not worried about what'll happen next. But change isn't always bad, kid. I mean, if we went back to a time before you picked up the staff Sandy might never have become a part of our lives and that just doesn't bear thinking about."

He'd almost forgotten that Sandy hadn't always been there and, Pigsy was right, he definitely wouldn't want go back to a time without him.

And even for all his complicated feelings about Wukong, he didn't think he'd ever want to be without him or the island or the monkeys or all the other friends he'd made since picking up the staff.

He'd had plenty of awful experiences these last two years and while it sometimes felt like nothing good had come of him picking up the staff, that definitely wasn't the case.

He sniffled slightly, "You would've never met Cháng'é."

Pigsy ruffled his hair, "And you might never have learnt to cook. But look at you now - making noodles from scratch like a pro. Heh, we should take another trip to the moon so you can show her, I bet she'll be impressed!"

A similar breakdown a few months ago had resulted in a sharp increase in father-son bonding time, and now they spent at least one evening together every week cooking and it was undeniably one of the best changes that could have happened.

Not only could he now make a decent meal but those stolen moments of normalcy had been doing more for his sanity than he could ever put into words.

He smiled as he teased, "You just want to see her again and get another shot at being on TV. But you know, maybe it would be nice to visit her. It must get lonely up there, right? We could message her and see if she'd be up for it?"

Clearly trying to play it cool, Pigsy wiped the excited look off his face and coughed, "I'm sure she'd appreciate that. Er, would be great if we could find another way to get there this time though."

Personally, he didn't mind going by rocket but he nodded agreeably, "I'll look into it. I bet Red Son or Macaque could get us there. Might be a bit far for Mr. Tang...?"

Pigsy huffed, "He'd probably faint just at the thought of it."

He nodded, making a note to look into arranging a trip to the moon. Before internally laughing a little at how crazy a sentence that would have been not even a year ago.

There was silence for a moment as they reached the end of the tangent and he knew Pigsy was waiting for him to steer the conversation wherever he needed it.

He picked up his tail and started tentatively ringing it between his hands, "I'm sorry about all of this. About freaking out and dumping this all on you."

Pigsy gently scuffed the side of his head, "That's what I'm here for. And talks about changing bodies is, in fact, in the job description."

It surprised a small laugh out of him before he grimaced in memory of the sex talks he'd been forced to endure, "Please, not again."

Pigsy hummed, "Well, I don't know. I might have to ask some other monkey demons if there's anything specific you need to know - the sex talk does have different appendices for different demons."

He cringed, "I don't know which monkey I'd prefer you ask least."

Pigsy huffed in agreement before a little more seriously he said, "I know I'm making light of it but you can talk to me about being a demon, y'know? I mean, you can talk to me about anything but I know this isn't easy." Reluctantly, he added, "Being a demon isn't easy even if you were born one."

Especially for a demon in a human city.

He hadn't experienced anyone treating him badly, yet, but his father was a demon, and despite Pigsy's best efforts to shield him from it, he'd seen firsthand how some humans treated demons.

And he'd be lying if he said that didn't factor into his anxiety but there was a bigger hurdle to jump before he tackled that.

Slowly he tried to explain, "Ever since I discovered this new form, I've just tried to think of it as another power and not as who I'm supposed to be. But deep down I... I know it is. And I know that I'm holding myself back by being so afraid of it. But it's not really the form itself as much as how it will change how people look at me, how you'll look at me... And I know you said that it doesn't change how you see me but it's just hard to get my brain to believe that."

It wasn't that he doubted Pigsy's words but the fear of losing his home had existed long before he picked up the staff. As a kid, he'd been terrified that either someone would take him away, his "real" family or someone else, or that Pigsy would realise that he didn't want him.

And no amount of logic or reassurances could make that fear disappear completely.

Pigsy sighed, "Well, I think there's only one way I'm going to be able to prove that your monkey form doesn't change how I feel..."

He took a deep breath and nodded, "And that's by acting giving you the chance to prove it. So... if it's ok with you that is, then I want to try and spend more time in my monkey form. You know, around the house and maybe- maybe in the restaurant if I'm feeling brave."

Pigsy didn't give him much time to regret those words as he huffed, "Of course it's ok with me. And the first big thing that isn't changing is that all the house rules still apply - clothes are still mandatory."

He laughed a little shakily before pretending to be offended, "You think because I'm a- a monkey demon I'll just start running about naked?"

"I've met Ma."

"She doesn't represent all monkey demons! No other monkey demon we know does that!"

He was ninety percent sure that everyone on the island didn't ditch their clothes the moment the "mainlanders" left. They certainly weren't bothered by nudity but, apart from Ma, he thought they were all pretty happy wearing clothes.

Pigsy grinned, "Either way, the rule applies. And if it turns out that you shed then you're cleaning up all the fur." He then posed thoughtfully, "Actually, maybe we should invest in some hairnets or something for when you're in the kitchen..."

He supposed that Pigsy's feelings not changing didn't change the fact that his monkey form had some practicalities to consider but he appreciated how easily Pigsy was able to bring it up.

Trying to roll with the attempt at lighthearted normalcy, he responded, "Liu and Beng cook all the time and I don't remember having to pick out any fur...?"

Pigsy shrugged, "Guess we'll just have to ask, I'm sure they'll be thrilled to answer any questions you have."

He nodded, he was sure they would be. Everyone on the island was always pleased to see his monkey form and they'd be beyond excited to hear that he wanted to try and embrace it, even a tiny bit, more.

With a groan, Pigsy stood up, "Alright, c'mon, we're talking about food when we could be making it and I'm getting too old to be sitting on the floor like this. Let's take a breather and refuel before we try this again."

This was how most important talks played out between the two of them - a barely coherent, emotionally charged outburst or argument, a meal and then a much calmer conversation about the big issues unearthed during the initial talk.

And while not a perfect system, it seemed to work for them.

So he took the offered hand and hoisted himself up. But as soon as he was on his feet, he threw his arms around Pigsy and held him as tightly as he could, as he said, "I'm sorry I'm such a mess."

After recovering from the initial impact, Pigsy returned his hold, "Heh, like father, like son."

He laughed as he let go, "What? Not going to blame Mr. Tang for that too?"

"Oh, he definitely had a hand in it but I'm big enough to accept my share of the blame." He then shook his head in fond disbelief, "I can't believe you finding out me and Tang aren't dating is what's led to you wanting to try out your monkey form more. I'm not even surprised - it's always been him putting monkeys on your mind."

He laughed, "And this why if you do it all again you have to have him be my babysitter! He's a crucial part of my character development!"

Pigsy snorted, "Never tell him you said that, I'll never hear the end of it. Now, c'mon, food and then we'll talk more. Don't think we're just glazing over the "making things worse" comment."

He cringed slightly but he still dutifully made his way to the door only pausing as he realised that Pigsy had stopped to put away the ashtray and tobacco pouch, looking slightly sheepish as he did so.

The shoe on the other foot, he retorted, "Don't think we're just going to glaze over the "I'm a hypocrite" comment either."

Pigsy sighed as he walked over, "Yeah, yeah, alright, I had that coming. Just get moving. We'll take turns being the overbearing father."

A little gleefully, he shouted, "Me first! My disappointed dad impression is spot on!"

And hopefully he could eat up enough time with that so he wouldn't have to reprise the very familiar role of chastised son but he knew that was wishful thinking.

Although, later that evening when Pigsy noticed him staring at his reflection in the darkened window he was glad to have them be firmly put back in their respective roles of father and son when Pigsy ruffled his hair and told him to stop making eyes at himself and help him with the dishes.

It felt exactly like home should, even if it looked a little different than it used to.

--End--

Interested in the previous breakdown that resulted in a father-son talk? Check out Abstract

LMK Fic Masterlist

[rydiathesummoner]

JILL IS STRONGER THAN WE THINK: No I'm serious, here's why (all the spoilers)

When I finished FFXVI my feelings about Jill were… ok she's fine. We got her in the party after her time in the Iron Kingdom so she was physically weak. Even her powers were not as strong as Titan or Bahamut. She shone bright when killing Imreann, but then seemed relegated to the background for the rest of the game. She's even captured twice and requiring her boyfriend to save her. In 2023 that's so tropey it hurts.

However after too much overthinking, I think she's pretty great. She's well thought out. The problem is that sometimes the storytelling is too subtle and as an overtired and always stressed modern gamer I missed a few things about Jill.

Thinking back, how was Ultima defeated? Why couldn't Ultima posess Clive? Not because of Clive's physical strength or his massive pecs, but because of his Will. In the end, Clive's Will did not break or falter. Ultima fights with physical strength sure, but he usually gets what he wants throughout the story by breaking people's Will.

Jill's Will never breaks. Not once. Even when facing death from Kupka. She lives through torture and abuse but always remains in control of her Eikon. A broken Will is an Eikon out of control.

Ultima causes Clive's Will to break at Phoenix Gate. He also loses control with Garuda.

Joshua's Will breaks after seeing his father killed.

Benedikta's Will breaks after losing Garuda. Garuda gave her a sense of power and control, especially over men (who had hurt her in the past).

Kupka's Will breaks by eating the mothercrystal to gain more power. He did this at the suggestion of Harbard, who worked for Barnabas, who, well…

Dion's Will breaks after constant frustrations with his family, and Ultima manipulating him into killing his father. It should be noted that Ultima had to work pretty hard for this one.

Barnabas had no Will the entire story. He volunteered it to Ultima. Arguably the most physically powerful Eikon was the weakest when it came to Ultima's machinations. He genuinely thought Ultima would let him be reborn.

Obviously this leads to Cid, who also has an unshakeable Will and maintains control during his short time in the game. Both Cid and Jill influence Clive to strengthen his own Will. So why did it seem to me the Cid was a strong dominant, but Jill was just kind of meh?

I feel like this is an area the writing could have used some tweaks. Cid showed his strong Will by defying everything Valisthea stood on and creating an entire movement about it. This was a huge part of the plot. There are scenes where Jill could have primed out of control to save herself (Kupka and Barnabas's abductions for example, a yellow-eyed eikon could probably break crystal fetters) but the game doesn't really put that idea into the player's head. "Oooh is she gonna go crazy before this big dude cuts off her head and destroy Rosaria?" like they could have shown her struggling, or her eyes turning slightly yellow before regaining control of herself.

Or since Barnabas was Ultima's puppet, the scene on the ship could have been used as a way for Ultima to try to break her Will, but she resisted. In both cases, her resolve didn't seem tested and she seemed more like a plot point. I don't think this is intentionally how her character was written, but a side effect of making Clive the entire focus.

Our human monkey brains tend to lean into a Might Makes Right mindset, but physical strength was not what Valisthea needed. It needed the strongest Wills to save itself.

[aleiiii]

so the monkeys are really hesitant about Nà's opinion on immortality and aren't directly asking her, so WHAT IS her opinion and wants on it? I'm curious to hear what she has to say 😋

OH MAN

another layer of drama heheh

in any case Nà might warm up to the idea. At first it’s definitely a jarring concept. Like what do you do for the rest of your life as an immortal? Surely life gets boring, right? Ofc, in attempt to make her more prone to wanting immortality, the boys might tell her all the stories they’ve collected for living this long. Eventually Nà might accept the idea, but there are things that she’s still super unsure of.

For instance, her family. It would just feel so unfair that she gets to continue living her life as an immortal, while her parents continue to get older and older. It’s a tough thing to try and get over. It feels selfish almost. I would think this would be her biggest block from wanting to become immortal.

It might be a constant back and forth for a while. She does care about the boys, it would be an honor to continue living the rest of her life around them, but she still has a special place in her heart for her parents. This thought would be sitting for a while before Nà makes a final decision.

Also I would think Wukong would be the type to say “we’ll just make a family of our own”

na only looking at him is pure disbelief

[regaliasonata]

Jungle Fury Random Headcanons and Ideas

@skyland2703 @augment-techs @mo-ok @junglefurytrash went a bit crazy with this one

-Casey is the youngest of five siblings, and is the only boy in the family. He knows how to do makeup and hair.

-Due to his upbringing everyone in the house expected him to be gay, he was kind of dreading having to tell his mother and sisters but they were pretty chill about it.

-His sisters are either quintuplets or triplets and two adopted sisters depending on what you want to go with.

-Despite being the blue ranger Theo didn't develop his animal spirit until after Luen gained his. His parents seem to expect more from him as they were students in a sub school associated with the Pai Zhua.

-Theo's won a Guinness World Record award for karaoke, he claims it's in his blood to be amazing at it.

-Lily grew up within a small apartment in the city, she enjoys all the different foods that a place has to offer. Anything that's new and changing, reminds her of home.

-There's a chance that she trained with Zack and had him as a partner as she did mentioned how she used to do competitive dance competitions.

-RJ's mother passed away when he was young and he kind of blames himself for it. Despite trying to make their relationship better Finn may have blamed him all those years ago for Mrs. James's passing, just a constant reminder of her not being here.

-RJ is amongst one of the only individuals(Like Antonio) to discover the Morphin Grid on his own and is the reason the Pai Zhua has it as access.

-Sometimes just to spite Finn RJ catches fish and attaches them around the shark master's house. That way his air conditioning can smell terrible.

-Dominic flunked out of college, he was studying to become a teacher in geography.

-Casey seems more ticked off with Dominic because of the idea that he might try to go for Jarrod or RJ.

-Jarrod enjoys being around animals as his parents weren’t really around, his mother didn’t really enjoy the prospect of having a boy and his dad would either yell all the time or get pissed off about farm work not doing well so Jarrod cuddling up with a fluffy sheep or even summoning his black lion spirit to sleep next to it’s mane would soothe him.

-Despite all the troubles within the school Master Mao kinda sees Jarrod as his own son(Any of you kingdom hearts fans, cough cough Eraqus and Terra).

-Camille’s hatred of snakes was due to her mother being killed by Naja 10,000 years ago, she’s unaware of this fact but disposing of the snake rinshi felt right when it happened in the show.

-Her eyeshadow is actually a trait of her animal spirits. Animal spirits have way more depth to them as they are the shadow of one’s self, in some cases specific traits about said spirit leak into the person like physical to mental details (example: Camille’s eyeshadow, RJ’s ferocity from his wolf spirit.)

-megazords formed by animal spirits were based on specific influences centuries ago, from totems, giant sculptures like sphinx and even Animus. Some can claim that the guardians of the Pai Zhua were the first people to create earthly megazords within human history.

-mystical beasts or fictional animal like creatures such as the phoenix, azure dragon etc are somewhat rare due to a very small percent of people born with one or those entities giving access to said person. Such as the Phantom Beasts who are based on specific creatures. If Nick or Chip were to come to Pai Zhua and develop a phoenix and Garuda spirit then they’d be a powerful force.

-rinzen and zocalo energy isn’t inherently bad energy but the power is mainly associated with rinshi, the rangers have the potential to access it and even gain phantom beast modes similar to Jarrod and Camille.

-Fran’s animal spirit can range either from a black cat, owl or monkey and gives her abilities based on inner luck or focus making her quite powerful.

-Lily basically adopted Casey as her own little brother.

-Secretly Jarrod wants to pursue cooking or something based in creativity. He didn't touch a kitchen utensil for weeks after seeing kitchen nightmares and it took RJ having to throw the tapes out to get him back into cooking.

-Master Swoop can actually split himself into bat's and has the little shadows spying around the world for any threats. Its kind of creepy but very effective as he can easily have the bat's acting as kamikaze strikers to defeat monsters. Rangers on other teams don't know how threats get taken down but they don't mind, less work load.

-the Pai Zhua has more schools within the world that differentiate in some fighting styles and such. Some schools like the ninja academies try to pick up on their skills but a few of the campuses keep secret.

-Zordon tried to learn about the teachings thousands of years ago as their abilities mixing with the grid gave way for a spike in power with combat but they shunned the wizard away cause of being weary about his motives. Ninjor was welcomed in open arms via the power coins he had. This also explains why Jungle Fury was so scarce with the other teams up until megaforce.

-despite everything the Pai Zhua is nowhere near as moral as they tried to portray themsleves as. Some people can be very toxic in a few areas, Dai Shi had possessed people in the past and with each attempt they tried to have the individuals go mad and die from the experience as a way to rid themselves of the dragon. Casey and the rangers dismantled this ideology after killing the Dai Shi.

-because of her potential the academy sent scouts to try and push Fran to join the academy but RJ quickly shut that down and actually threatened a few of the higher officials because of this.

-Animal spirits talk amongst themselves when the team isn't around. Some play poker when everyone's asleep.

-because of being spirit and mythical based the JF team can handle most of the recurring threats of Zedd and Rita. Plus with their megazords not being mechanical they aren't easily disposed of.

-RJ secretly made JKP into a megazord incase there's an emergency, he met Antonio and added a shitload of symbol power and animal spirit energy to make it a powerful force.

-Lily loves a lot of 80s-90s music and loves to dress in a semi style of Y2K.

-Having no knowledge of Pokemon, Camille and Casey were sat down by Theo and Fran until they were introduced to Gen 4. Camille hacked her Platinum cartridge to get all the mythical and legendary mon events.

-RJ smokes blunts mainly to calm himself, it started as a way to escape the thought of his mother being goin and his father's disapproval.

-Tommy and Jason aren't allowed in Ocean Bluff when it comes to ranger activity because RJ's access to the grid could be useful but he likes to gatekeep and personally team wise if anything happens both him and the group wouldn't enjoy veteran rangers from the first modern team(unless it's billy) coming in and taking over operations.

-Camile and Jarrod jump monsters whenever a mission happens, forget talking, get the job done when needed.

-Casey was fired from the zoo for sleeping in the tiger cage and released all the animals into nice reservations after he was let go.

-Lily was made team leader as Casey doesn't feel too well with getting the role just for being a red ranger.

-Theo is a master at coming up with combo attacks and megazord concepts to the point that rangers like Chip and Max come to him for guidance. He's got quite the reputation in the ranger community for his witty ideas.

-Casey is on a red ranger watch list due to his sword skills, despite keeping their word Jason may have came to the city to demand some aid with their grid research and the two got into a brawl with Casey winning. Him, Jayden and Lauren are all at the top five of said list.

-RJ has dated lots of people but it usually never ends on a perfect note as they were usually relationships with people who took emotional advantage over him. Though he's in a better place within his life to try again with Casey or anyone who actually values him.

-Jarrod listens to a lot of punk music and back at the school Mao got complaints about speakers Blaring music at two in the morning.

-Cam hangs with RJ and shares ideas but he isn't allowed to tell Tommy about any of their conversations. The two may have had a thing in the past.

-Wolf rangers tend to have a powerful aura and they each meet together to talk about business, RJ has a bone themed secret landline he uses to contact them.( @sentinelofstories wolf war 👀😭)

-Due to Dai Shi the JF teams has a disdain for dragons, Serpentera count your days if you ever come back.

-Camille's rinshi form is just armor but was never accepted fully as a rinshi, she only became one to seem worthy in Dai Shi's eyes. The phantom beast hated her for many things and this was one of the reasons, thousands of years ago she murdered three previous members for nearly trying to assassinate her.

-Princess Shayla and the Wild Force rangers are on good terms with the JF team. Merrick follows RJ around like a lost puppy, Taylor spites Theo for being short, Lily tried to get Danny out of his shell. Max tries to explain modern day concepts to Camille, Alyssa and Dominic do small talk and Cole is given death glares from RJ or Jarrod because Casey has caught eyes for him.

-Casey is Gay, Lily is Bi, Theo is a straight ally, Camille and Jarrod are angry bisexuals, RJ is pan, Fran and Dom are unsure of what they are.

-It is unknown if dinosaurs can become animal spirits but Eric actively seeks out Casey to test this theory.

-Casey's favorite red ranger is TJ.

-The team watches movies each Thursday, Everyone except Lily can't handle watching Final Destination.

-it took some time but Jungle Fury had their crossover with RPM and its safe to say things were chaotic. Dillon and Jarrod pretty much had a staring contest with each other, RJ and Flynn got high for the most part, Scott kept crying tears of joy when Casey took him to see their world since it isn't destroyed, Theo wanted to throw himself out the window from hanging with Ziggy, Summer took Lily shopping and Camille was this close to murdering the twins but actually found herself warming up to them, she even went on a date with Gemma.

-Billy is on thin ice for trying to bring Zordon back and while RJ likes the dude he'd prefer that the giant head wouldn’t butt in on all of their affairs.

[sirfrogsworth]

Regarding your Plex server, do you have any tips for compressing media to save space?

Right now, almost all 1080p content is encoded in the H.264 codec. So my biggest tip would be to convert all of your H.264 content to a newer codec called H.265 10-bit.

First, you'll want to make sure that all of the devices you play media on can handle the H.265 10-bit codec. Pretty much any device that says it can do 4K HDR will suffice. It's okay if you have a device that can't do this, as Plex can transcode your media as you watch it, but you are going to use up a lot of computer resources and it can also be slow and buggy.

So to get the best experience, I would definitely recommend upgrading anything that cannot do H.265 10-bit. Thankfully, even the cheapest $30 4K Fire TV Stick is capable.

H.265 allows you to heavily compress your media and maintain quality. The 10-bit color, even if the original file was 8-bit, can reduce color banding in gradients which can often be a consequence of compressing video.

The rule of thumb is you can reduce the file size by 50% of H.264 and not take a hit on image quality. But you can actually go beyond that and still get acceptable quality.

Yes, H.264 will play on pretty much any device these days, but eventually that will be true of H.265. So if saving space is more important than dealing with a few compatibility issues that may crop up (and are usually solvable), then you can definitely shrink the size of your media library while maintaining image quality.

The bad news is that converting your media, depending on how much you have, could take a while. Even with a super beefy computer, compressing in H.265 is a slow process. And you can't use hardware encoding because that is meant more for streaming than media preservation.

Also, I do not recommend compressing 4K content at this time. Only 1080p. Re-encoding and compressing a 4K file takes more time than it is worth. A 4K movie could take 12 to 24 hours even on a very fast computer. Though if you have a 4K file and you don't care if it is 1080p, that might be worth it.

Handbrake is pretty much the only game in town as far as re-encoding your media. It can have a learning curve if you want to use it to its full potential, but there are a ton of decent presets you can use if you don't have the time to learn the fine details of what everything does.

I can give you some recommendations for a few important settings.

In the video tab...

I'd start by finding a preset that is close to your end goal. In this case I chose the H.265 MKV 1080p30 preset in the "Matroska" presets that I will slightly tweak.

I usually want to make MKV files because they can hold subtitles in the file container without a separate subtitle file. I want H.265 10-bit. Most of my content is 1080p. And most of it is 24fps, so I'll just ignore the 30 frames the preset uses and change it later.

So once you select the preset, change framerate to "same as source" to just carry over whatever it was originally. You do not want to monkey with the framerate unless you have a really good reason.

You'll want "constant quality" selected. And then the RF or "rate factor" is basically how much compression you want to use. A lower number is less compression and a higher number is more compression. Once you have experience using Handbrake you'll be able to make a pretty good guess at what RF you should use, depending on the content. But I can give you some basic guidelines for you to test out.

When picking an RF, a higher number will give you a smaller file and a lower number will reduce the chances of creating unwanted compression artifacts. Since you are doing 10-bit, that will help a lot with color banding, but if you overcompress you may get unsightly blocks, especially in dark and fast moving scenes. If you watch dark content on YouTube, you probably know what I mean.

So before I compress media, I ask myself a few questions...

How important is this content to me?

Is good image quality what makes this content special?

Does this content have a lot of dark or fast moving scenes?

If this is my favorite show or movie, then I am going to want to preserve it at the highest possible quality. Or if the content is a visual spectacle, like Avatar, then I am going to want to make sure I preserve visual fidelity. And if this content is prone to compression artifacts due to dark and/or fast moving scenes, like a horror movie or an action movie, I am going to want to use less compression to avoid distracting artifacts.

However, if it is just a game show I like to put on in the background, I might not care if I compress it more. As long as it is watchable, I am not going to be precious about the compression quality.

Typically I choose an RF between 17 and 24.

17 will give bigger file sizes but will almost never create compression artifacts that were not already in the original content to begin with. This is for the stuff you really care about. Your absolute favs.

And if it is the game show I play in the background, I will probably choose 24.

But all of that space in between 17 and 24 is where you have to figure out what you can tolerate for different media. It may take some trial and error and test encodes to figure out what you prefer.

Like, when I compressed Law & Order for my mom, I knew that wasn't a huge visual spectacle. So I did 22. But for an action movie for my dad, I'd probably do 20 because of all of the fast moving scenes. And for my precious Batman TAS cartoons, I went with 17 because I wanted those files to be as close to perfect as possible.

The final slider I will talk about is the encoding speed. In the image above the preset is set to "slow." This ranges from "very slow" to "ultra fast." (Don't use placebo.) This setting basically allows Handbrake to either take its time and figure out the absolute best and most efficient compression... or to hurry up and just get the job done.

Think of this as the efficiency slider. If you give your computer more time to think, your compression will be more efficient. It will be the best compression possible for the quality RF you chose.

If you set it to a slower speed you will be able to get smaller file sizes with fewer compression artifacts, even if your chose a higher RF. But it could take one file many hours to encode.

At faster speeds your filesizes will get a little bigger and there is a chance some compression artifacts may sneak into your video, even if you chose a lower RF.

It's a little confusing, because the RF is supposed to be the only factor in image quality. But the encoding speed does factor in a little bit too. Especially in difficult to compress dark or fast scenes.

I was pretty happy with the "medium" setting. I have a fast computer with a lot of CPU cores and a lot of free time. So I didn't mind how long it took. But I actually think the "fast" and "faster" setting still gave great results while still shrinking file sizes.

Again, if it is super important to you, maybe do medium or slow for those files. Otherwise the fast setting is probably acceptable for most other things.

And finally the audio tab...

You are not going to get much benefit from compressing the audio. You might save a few megabytes. So I highly recommend just preserving whatever the original audio was. And you do this by selecting a "Passthru" codec. Handbrake will not touch the audio data and just copy it exactly to the new file.

However... if there is an audio codec that you know does not play nice with one of your devices, then you might want to convert it to something that works better. Though if you are using Plex, it can usually transcode audio without using significant CPU resources.

When I finished converting my media collection, I think I calculated that I saved myself about 20 TB of hard drive space when all was said and done. I think I have around 250 shows and 2000 movies. This left me a lot more room to keep more 4K content that is not worth compressing.

I definitely recommend watching some Handbrake tutorials and learning about some of the other functions. I also recommend learning how to do "batch encoding" so you can set up a bunch of files and just let your computer compress while you aren't using it.

But I covered the most important settings to get your started. Definitely do some tests and familiarize yourself with the process before you start converting your entire media collection.

I hope that was helpful. I promise explaining it is a lot harder than picking a few settings and hitting "start."