#with the whole thing about his last conversation with paige and helping both her and carpenter adjust to their situations

[woodlouseonastring]

[Image description: a screenshot of tags that's say "#i've been saying this... #he literally died on that stage. after hembry told him his role in any story would be to die towards the end to up the stakes #he also literally wrote his death into the lore of the wound tree. he's sooo dead he's been so dead for so long #tsv". /End description]

MAJOR tsv spoilers

I KNEW IT I HAVE BEEN SAYING IT!! Hayward is NOT making it out alive from this podcast. He has been living on borrowed time, Page has resurrected him, she brought him back from the clutches of a narrative god. and now his time has run out because the narrative is HUNGRY the narrative is taking his sacrifice. LISTEN TO ME. LISTEN TO ME. She resurrected him literally but also she turned his character around and gave it a new life. He has been a new spirit in the body of a dead character. And now his time is up and he has served his purpose and the narratuve no longer needs him. His only use is to serve as a tool for tragedy. CAN ANYBODY HEAR ME IS ANYONE LISTENING

[spectordameron]

Asking you about your specific Poe brotps!! —CCFM

Rina....bless you so much for giving me a chance to infodump. So my brotps for Poe err on the side of gulp shittos: lots of background Resistance characters who have my whole entire heart, that I've built up entire dynamics with him off of - it's honestly maybe my favorite thing to write about, and comes up a lot in an rp 'verse me and my partner (@hermitmoss) wrote a few years ago. Some have some canon basis, others not so much lol. I just think that for majority of the Resistance, Poe is kind of this....surrogate big brother (Snap is also). If you're having a shit time, and Poe has time in his schedule, you bet your ass he's gonna give you a hug and let you talk things out. You need advice? Poe's probably got some to give, etc etc.

So first, there's Poe and Beaumont. Beaumont is the character we see in tros that hypothesizes ways that Palpatine could have survived. There's a really lovely comic where he goes to Kashyyyk with Chewie, which reveals that he's estranged from his parents who disapprove of his career choice (he is a scholar, with a focus on the Force). But! Relevantly, Beaumont is kind of a scruffy guy, so I decided that this guy in tfa

could definitely be Beaumont. It's not, canonically, because Beaumont only joins after the Hosnian Cataclysm, but this is my canon and I do what I want lmao. Basically, I think Poe and Beaumont bond over their interest in the Jedi/Force. Poe believes in the Force, per Oscar Isaac, and I tend to think that errs on a sort of religious belief for him; and since Beaumont has a special interest in the Jedi, I like to think there's a lot of philosophical conversations between them and Poe occasionally helping Beaumont pour over research materials (you remember how one of the high republic books, i think, canonized smutty romance books about the Jedi? the funniest mental image I have of them both running into one of those and getting flustered/mildly scandalized about it lmao).

In my little canon, Beaumont is a pretty lonely guy and is still working out what "friendship" can be like while reeling from the estrangement from his family, and Poe's really there to support him through the whole thing. And of course, Beaumont loves his very hyperactive friend right back and gives him support when he can as well. Also I feel like it'd be fun if Beaumont specifically got brought into the Resistance because of his connection to Tekka, and because they needed some idea on other Force oriented sights that Tekka could have visited!

Then there's Poe, Tallie and Paige. Yes they go together, lmao. Technically, a lot of my headcanons actually focus more on Snap than Poe here: Tallie is noted to be in charge of Blue Squadron, which Snap is second in command of, so I like to think they often swap duties, especially when Snap is busy with Black Squadron things, and they're like. Very bickery siblings who always argue over the last cup of caf in the morning (it's tradition!).

But I think it's canon-ish leaning that Poe is friends with Paige (I believe Kelly Marie Tran mentioned in an interview that the background is that Paige was friends with Poe and kind of a wingman to him, so that's how Rose is familiar with Poe?), and I like to think the same thing with Tallie. I think Poe and Tallie are kind of those friends that rib each other plenty - yeah, sure Poe's her commanding officer, but he's just as much of a dork as Snap so she's gonna give him plenty of shit.

I haven't built up nearly enough with Poe and Paige specifically, but I do headcanon that Tallie and Paige are together <33 because I love tragedy, I guess, but also there's a lot of commonalities between them, and I like picturing Poe being supportive of them and being the first to get the gossip that they're together because he accidentally runs into them kissing lmao.

I truly could keep going all day, but I'm gonna try to keep this somewhat brief, and just. Bullet point the rest lmao:

I think Poe is a little bit eager to get Admiral Ackbar's approval. It's kind of a whole thing in ghost story, because Ackbar is sort of the closest thing to an authority figure in Leia's life still, and that matters to Poe. He respects the hell out of Gial, and the two eventually wind up bonding over their love for Leia, and sharing koya fruit. To my endless delight, a ROTJ anniversary comic special confirmed that Ackbar was friends with Shara and Kes, and they were some of his most trusted confidants - which really adds so much to how close Poe seems to be with Aftab, calling him "junior" all the time....truly family friends!!!!

Poe!!! And Kalonia!! I've actually written about them once before. I think Poe really, really hates medbays from trauma of losing his parent(s), and tries avoiding them when he can, so it's kind of a running joke that Kalonia scares him. But! He'll also stop by early in the mornings to anonymously drop off bouquets of wildflowers or snacks for Kalonia, so she has a little bit of extra appreciation. And of course there's this moment I wrote of them in an rp that still tickles me to this day:

Beaumont smacked his scanner again, "Yeah it's...on the fritz. I guess Poe's the only one who's really getting help -" "Bruised ribs?" Kalonia said loudly, or as loudly as her soft voice would allow her. Poe nearly wilted under her stern gaze. "How did you expect to treat that yourself?" Poe hesitated a moment, before answering slowly, "Wait for them to unbruise?" Kalonia pinched the bridge of her nose, "Please get Commander Dameron under a stabilizer. Once he's treated, he and Knight Surris will help us treat Lieutenant Donneta's lekku."

She puts up....with so damn much....

then we have Poe and Kaydel!! Obviously their friendship (and his with C'ai) get a lot of focus in tlj which is one of my favorite things about the movie, but I love to think that she winds up being Black Squadron's psuedo baby sister. I think she has a habit of getting tunnel vision when she's working, that she forgets to eat and things like that, so they implement something they call "the kaydel protocol" which just means Black Squadron takes turn checking in on her through the day to make sure she's ate and drank plenty of water.

I also like tossing around Poe and Taslin Brance! We barely see Taslin in the movie, but there's a deleted scene where he's the one to inform Leia Poe's X-Wing was destroyed in the village, and in the Flight Log, he's the unfortunate soul to deal with crabby Poe "do not LOOK at me do not TALK to me about the fucking finalizer okay I'm FINE look at me I flew to Takodana and Starkiller, could a traumatized person do THAT" Dameron by trying to get him to debrief. I think Taslin is something of an anxious, kind of clumsy guy, that is horrified and exasperated by the kinds of stunts Poe comes up with, and probably does a lot of the more "boring" high command work with Poe, like paperwork and lists and stuff.

And especially for you, Rina, I LOVE Poe and Threepio's dynamic! I know their dynamic is written fairly inconsistently from the comics to the films, but I find the accidental like, implied development of their dynamic really enjoyable. I love the parts in the comic where Poe's like you really shouldn't be calling me master you're a war vet and a hero man, we should be calling you that, and Poe hauling ass back to carry Threepio out of danger, and then Threepio offering to sacrifice himself so Poe can escape Terex....ough. I like the implication that they went from these very professional colleagues to friends that are so done with each other but come hell or high water they're sticking it out for each other. It always tickles me in tlj when Poe is listening to Finn and Rose's plan and goes "so we blow that one up?" Threepio just WHIRLS around like "wHAT did you just say" it's so delightful to me, and I love that Threepio tends to give it right back to Poe in tros when they're all snippy with each other ("you both make excellent points....some times" makes me laugh my ass off every time). and then poe calling threepio his brother in the tros novelization??????????????????????????? ough......I really can't think of any dynamic with a human that Threepio has where he'll rib right back, so to speak, and it just. Fascinates me. I want so much more about them, especially since I'm sure they worked closely together since Threepio has his spy network and Poe seems to oversee a little bit their other spy network, on top of being (somehow) a spy himself.

[darkmoonkestrel]

daily kestrel 17:

we ended up pulling out the giant 10 ft blanket for the bed last night, we deemed it cold enough (or rather, at least not too hot) to use it, and it was so cozy that i begged off making Peyton's traditional morning iced coffee to get an extra 20 minutes of sleep. had some really weird dreams about like... sanctioned dungeon crawling type of activities? idk how to describe it but it was an interesting alternate universe type of situation

i got to work early today and was bounced around for most of the day, including starting in the cafeteria. i then went to the early 2s room, the older 2s room, my room for a little bit, the kitchen to help unpack a food order, and did breaks for the mobile infants and infants teachers before going back to my room after break. it was a busy day, but overall pretty good. idk how i always end up doing lunch breaks in the mobiles room when it's spaghetti for lunch day though, this is like the third time and those kiddos get spaghetti in places you didn't know it could be (the back of the head??)

i stopped and got myself some whoppers as a little treat on my way home, a reward in advance for going to the optional chat my professor does for my online class every week that i've missed the last few weeks. turns out i was the only one there, so i just ended up chatting with my professor about AI and book banning and class assignments and diversity and stuff for a solid 30 minutes, but i actually enjoyed it, so that was good. at least it absolves my guilt for missing the next few bc I def don't plan to go back to them until the "highly recommended" one next month. i also noticed that my professor had steam on his computer when he was screen sharing with me and i really should have been like "so what do you play" but we were having an Academic™️ conversation so i didn't wanna ruin the vibes

i got Peyton & Paige little treats as well and Peyton's were gummy worms that we ended up using for a three way "throwing them into the other person's mouth" contest, with me still in the office, Paige on the couch, and Peyton in the office doorway alcove. he finally ended up catching one, after several rounds of both me and Paige missing our throws at him and him pelting us with worms. i net positive'd four worms to keep and eat, and one is lost somewhere in the office to be discovered at a later date. it's little things like this that make me appreciate how much i love living with my partners and the daily shenanigans we get up to

i'm still in the office and i was going to finish up this reading assignment for class but i'm not feeling it anymore so I'll just try to knock it out over lunch tomorrow. it is now time for some more slime rancher 2 before bed, and then another early day (7am work this time, so at least Peyton will get his morning coffee tomorrow bc i have to be awake at 6:15 anyway)

ETA: Paige bullied me into wearing my glasses at the house since we were talking about her eye exam tomorrow, and I took a 30 minute break in playing slime rancher to watch cat videos, the true purpose of the internet. i got really far in slime rancher which at my current place in the game just means unlocking a whole bunch of areas to explore, but i am being dragged to bed for my own wellbeing

except we're all super giggly tonight so we're playing around and haven't gone to sleep yet oops

[stressedemoblackbratz]

crazy

pairing: bo sinclair x reader

request: hey love! if you could maybe write something for bo? maybe the reader is kinda shy and the rest of her friends are really talkative and pretty and she’s not used to having attention? please and thank you.

warnings: swearing, mentions of death, and your friends being kinda shitty.

a/n: this is my FIRST request and i kept it the way it was requested with just my own addings to it. i kinda hate it, but i hope you all like it.

words: 1,701 + not proofread

i’m crazy for trying, and crazy for crying, and i’m crazy for loving you.

tired was an understatement. you didn’t want to be out in the woods any longer and the belt on Wade’s truck fucking up was no help. you either could stay and get harassed by Dalton, teased by Nick, and have to listen to Blake and Paige be so in love every 5 seconds on the way to the game or cram into this musty ass truck with Wade, a random redneck, and Carly. both options were bad, but getting away from the first 4 who constantly made you feel bad about yourself seemed amazing.

you were the odd ball of the group. you were just usually really quiet compared to them all who happened to sometimes get obnoxious, especially Dalton. Paige and Carly were both very social and beautiful. you never faulted them for that. none of you could help that boys gravitated towards them. it was just aggravating always being overshadowed by them.

Nick, Blake, and Dalton loved to point it out. Wade didn’t, but he didn’t stop it. Paige would join in to please Blake and sometimes you wondered if she meant all the things she said. Carly never would join in but she was just like her boyfriend. you understood neither one had to step in, but as your friends, and also knowing how if it was the other way around you’d be looked at like a monster, it would be nice for them to come and help you.

the ride to Ambrose wasn’t long at all. especially considering Carly and Wade decided to walk the rest of the way. it was just a bit uncomfortable sitting by the man and Wade with Carly in his lap, her legs slightly on yours. you waved at the man who drove you all before silently trudging along with the couple. he tilted his head giving a quick wave back before reaching to call his brother.

after a few rings he picked up. “hello?” Bo’s voice rang though the phone.

“hey man. some teens or 20 year olds or something are going up there. two girls and a boy. they’re coming for a belt for that boy’s car. a 15.” Lester laughed into the receiver.

“you broke the belt?” Bo asked his brother with a huge smirk on his lips.

“well of course I did.” Lester said in a sing songy voice.

“mhmm. you’re evil.” Bo said getting ready to go to a “funeral” in town. quickly throwing on some more dressy clothes.

“Bo?” Lester asked.

“yeah?” Bo called into the phone while tying up his laces.

“the last girl. I think her names y/n or something. I think you’d like her, but hate all her friends.”

Bo perked up. Vincent could have fun with them. “are there more?”

“at the campsite yeah. like 4 more. there’s no way they’re getting to that game they keep talking about. the roads are full of traffic.”

“hmm.” Bo acknowledged.

“you know, I listened in on their conversations last night before I fucked the belt up.” Lester sighed. “they’re complete asses to y/n. I’m surprised she even hangs around them.”

“well maybe she’ll like hanging around me.” Bo said with sarcasm in this voice.

“i’m serious.” Lester told him. “she’s the only nice one out of them. I almost felt bad for that Carly girl too until I heard her and Wade up late talking about her.”

“then maybe I’ll keep her.” he said heading out to his truck.

Lester cackled into the phone. “i’ll wait and see then. I have to go, there’s more deer out there.”

and with that Bo made his way to the church to wait for you and the others two’s arrival.

the whole time he had so many questions. was Lester just trying to mess with him? were you cute? would you like him? would he have to give you to Vincent? ugh, it wasn’t even needed right now. the other two would most likely be added to the wax attraction before you did.

the walk to the gas station wasn’t even bad. it was the walk to the church and the sheer embarrassment and horror of interrupting a service that did it for you.

“I-I am so sorry sir!” you quickly said before going down the steps of the church, leaving Carly and Wade to deal with it on their own before they too started to walk with you, muttering apologies on the way.

on your walk away from them you could see a museum come into view. it was the same one that you had seen on your way in.

“let’s check it out.” Wade suggested from somewhere behind you. you stopped so they could go in front of you, you didn’t like the idea of going first into a museum of a slightly abandoned town.

especially not a museum that held realistic statues.

inside, you noticed the place was a bit dusty and that none of the people seemed to be celebrities like you expected. just extremely realistic statues of random people. there was also a dog sniffing around that apparently only you could tell was not apart of the attraction.

however you did notice someone outside with a mask by the window. before you could say anything Carly was already shrieking and pointing to it outside. just as he was there he disappeared, but Wade wanted to find him.

personally you wouldn’t have went and investigated OR stayed in the house.

grabbing at her hand you tried to calm her. “Car-“

“no!” she cut you off by screaming and quickly taking her hand away from yours. “you saw that thing?!” she questioned.

“yes. now I’m gonna go and find the gas station. let’s just stick to the plan and go over ther-“ Carly made it her mission to cut you off again.

“what plan y/n?” she made a tuh sound before laughing. “the plan was me and Wade finding this belt and going to this game you weren’t even invited to. i brought you because Dalton said he didn’t want anyone to think him and Nick were a thing. you were the only person available. I didn’t even invite you to tag along here. there obviously was no room for you in that truck we were dropped off in. and now you’re trying to drag me outside with that ugly ass thing?! the hell is up with you these days?”

you truly didn’t know what Carly had going on right now. you had known her for 3 years and she’d never acted like this before. it had to be the nerves due to what just happened because there’s no way she meant any of this.

“Carly you don’t mean that.” You told her with hurt expression.

“I meant every last word.” She defended before rubbing at her arms to try and calm herself down from the spook.

“you know,” you began. “no matter how much concealer you have Paige put on you or how many times you have Wade take you away to tell you you’re “the most beautiful girl in the world”, it doesn’t hide or change the fact you are ugly as hell on the inside. stay in this museum if you want, but I’m out.”

so with a that, you walked out of the house, leaving a terrified and angry Carly behind after you just tried to help her.

you started to make your way to the gas station. the whole trip was making you increasingly annoyed. this ENTIRE weekend you should’ve been at home. not in some dump holding back tears and frustration.

by the time you reached the gas station your face was soaked with tears and you saw the man from the church through the window.

you quickly wiped at your face and headed inside.

Bo raised at brow at you being alone and the watery eyes you had. he assumed there was a fight. “where’s the other two?” he asked.

you shook your head before sniffling to help your runny nose. “Carly and Wade are back at the museum.” you explained. Bo’s eyebrows raised at the mention of the museum.

“if I could just get this belt and be on my way it would be nice. I don’t really want to be around them any longer than needed.” you told him.

he led you to all the belts they had only to see he didn’t have a 15 there for the truck. you sighed and your eyes started to fill up with tears again as you realized you’d be stuck out there with them for who knows how long till they could get a new belt.

Bo noticed this quickly and placed a hand on your shoulder to try and get you to look at him. you shook your head no before sobbing into your hands. he felt awkward seeing you cry in front of him so he pulled you to his chest. soon you started rambling off everything Carly said to you and how the groups dynamic worked.

Bo could sympathize with you.

there would be times he felt overshadowed by people. he just didn’t know how you could deal with that everyday without some slight resentment to those you called friends.

“you could stay here with me?” Bo suggested, the corners of his lips raising into a smirk.

now to the average person that would be a nice offer that they would decline due to the fact you’re strangers, but we’re you really average?

no. spending a night away from torment was calling your name.

so you took the offer.

“i’d actually like that very much.”

suddenly a thought popped up in Bo’s head. “I’m Bo by the way.” he sheepishly said.

“Oh!” you said realizing you all never really introduced yourselves. “i’m y/n.”

“that’s a beautiful name for a beautiful person, y/n.” the compliment gave you goosebumps. it had been awhile since you received a compliment like that.

“thank you, Bo.” he loved the way you said his name.

after what you just told him he made sure everyone else would be posted in the museum.

you’d be safe with him.

[atlafan]

Office Neighbors - Part Three

a/n: didn’t think I’d get the third part out so soon, but here we are! enjoy! (also reblogs/feedback is super helpful) not proofread

warnings: fluff and smut

words: 11K

masterpost

Harry couldn’t stop thinking about you and the night you just had. His heart was fluttering, and he had butterflies in his stomach. He liked you, and you liked him. This was reciprocated, and it felt great. He couldn’t wait for the chance to kiss you again. Your lips on his was something he didn’t realize he was so desperately craving. He had a taste, and now he wanted more. You wanted to go on a date with him, a real date. Not just a drunken night at the pub between friends.

He couldn’t shut his brain off. He was trying to think of something else he could do with you that would be fun. He didn’t want to just take you on another hike, you’ve done that with him already.

“The cabin!”

He could easily take you on a day trip up to his cabin. It was beautiful this time of year, and he also had lake property. He usually took Andy there for a good chunk of the summer anyways. You could get up early, drive there, and then have a nice relaxing day in the sun. Then he could take you to one of the nice seafood places in town. It would be perfect. Not to mention, he remembered you mentioning that you love the beach. Feeling at ease about a plan, he’s able to drift off.

//

“Wow, calling the next day, you’re not messing around.” You chuckle. Harry called you around noon.

“What can I say, I’m a stand up guy.” You could hear him smirking through the phone. “The weather’s supposed to be nice out Thursday, I was wondering if you had plans?”

“I don’t think so…”

“How would you like to come up to my cabin with me?”

“You’re, like, super into getting me stay overnight with you, huh?”

“No! It would just be for the day. It’s got its own private lake access…got our own bathroom, know how much you like that.”

“You’ve come to know me very well this last year.” You smile. “Sure, I think a day at the beach would be great.”

“And then I was thinking we could go out to dinner after. You’re welcome to use one of the showers and all that if you wanna change.”

“Okay, looks like I’ll be packing quite a bit. It sounds great, Harry.”

“Great! It’s about an hour north from here. I could pick you up around eight if that works for you.”

“That definitely works for me.”

“Cool.” He smiles. “I…I’m looking forward to it.”

“Me too.”

Harry really was very sweet. You were excited that he wanted to spend an entire day and evening with you. You already had been out together so many times, so nothing would feel too awkward. The thought of him kissing you again also didn’t sound too bad.

//

The two of you text on and off in between then and Thursday. You both had work you needed to get done, after all. You couldn’t help but bite your lip every time his name popped up on your screen, and he couldn’t help the butterflies that soared through his stomach every time he saw yours.

Andy: you’re taking her to the cabin?!

Dad: just for a day at the beach and some good food, that’s all

Andy: so you’re dating???

Dad: I don’t know what we’re doing…we like each other, that’s about all I know

Andy: well figure it out!

Dad: I’m trying!

Andy: tell her I say hi

Dad: I will, love you!

Andy: love you too!

Harry chuckles as he texts with Andy. He didn’t want to give him too much detail about what exactly went down with the kiss, but he was keeping him up to date on other things.

When Thursday morning rolls around you’re an absolute mess. You can’t decide what bathing suit to wear. Two piece tankini? Two piece bikini? A one piece? You groan loudly to yourself. He had seen you in less, sort of, but you wanted to keep things modest, so you go with a cute one piece, and that’s that. It was black on the top, and had a flamingos and greenery on the bottom. You throw on your cover up, and put your hair up in a sleek ponytail. You pack the sundress you’re going to wear to dinner, and anything you may need for a shower. You hear your buzzer and head down.

“Hey Ha-mph!”

Before you could finish your sentence, you were backed up against the door of your building, with his lips slotted over yours.

“Morning.” He says against your lip before kissing your cheek. He grabs your bag and puts it in the trunk, then opens the door for you.

“Th…thank you.” You clear your throat as you buckle your seat. Is this how Harry was while in a relationship? Breathless, passionate kisses hello?

“It’s gonna be a beautiful day, and the lake water should be warm enough to swim in.” He says as he pulls onto the street.

“I’m surprised you don’t spend the whole summer there.”

“Andy and I will go for, like, three weeks usually in the summer. That’s where we stay when we go skiing too.”

“When did you buy it?”

“Ummmm.” He puckers his lips as thinks. “When I officially got offered the tenured position a few years ago. Started making more money, and I got it for a steal. Took some time to fix it up bit by bit. It’s great for when my family visits too. But, even before I got it, I used to rent a place in the winter for Andy so I could take him skiing.”

“God, you’re such a good dad, Harry.”

“I try to be…I…I mean, I didn’t get to be around as much as I wanted when he was really little because I was working so much. He doesn’t really remember it, but it sucked. I always felt guilty, Paige was overworked, I’m lucky she doesn’t hate me, honestly.”

“It’s hard to believe with how…close you two are.”

“It took us a long time to get like that, believe me. I know it doesn’t seem like it because we’re so nice to each other, but we used to fight all the time. We were trying to make things work for him, and then we ended it, but then we…I don’t know…we’d come back to each other every so often, but then we both realized we couldn’t do that because Andy was getting older. It would be too confusing for him.”

“And Noah was the first guy she dated after you?”

“The first serious guy, yeah. She had been on other dates. Noah was the first guy she felt comfortable introducing to Andy, and to me, for that matter.”

“And…I mean…did you ever date?”

“Little soon to be having that conversation, don’t you think?” He teases you.

“Harry, I literally told you the other night about hooking up with someone.”

“And I’d like to forget.” He rolls his eyes.

“Aww…” You poke his cheek. “Don’t be jealous, I wanted you, remember?”

“Yeah.” He smiles at you. “I dated here and there, but I was honestly too busy to give time to a relationship. I wanted to spend my free time with Andy. I mean, when I was a little younger I’d go out to the bars and I’d bring a girl home with me if it was a weekend he wasn’t with me…but I stopped.”

“How come?”

“Uhhh, I…may or may not have almost hooked up with a student.” He hears you gasp. “It’s not what you think, she was, like, twenty-two, I thought she was a grad-student, but she wasn’t, and I found out before anything serious happened. I stopped going to certain bars after that and sorted out my priorities.” He shrugs.

“I get it…I mean…I’ll admit, I hooked up with a professor before.”

“You what?!”

“Yeah.” You shrug. “I was in grad school…we were both working late…it just sort of happened.”

“I can’t believe someone would take advantage of you like that.”

“But he didn’t, I wanted to.”

“How much older was?”

“I don’t know, like fifteen years maybe?”

“See, that’s manipulation right there. No guy that much older should be pursuing someone so much younger, it’s not right. Imagine how many other people there were.”

“Gee, thanks.” You scoff.

“I’m not saying you’re not special…because you are, but-“

“You think I’m special?”

“I wouldn’t be taking you up to my cabin if I didn’t think you were.”

“Oh.” You smile and put your hand over his. You hold hands for the rest of the drive.

//

Harry gives you a tour of the house once you’re inside. He shows you what shower you’ll be able to use later, and you put your things down. You both head out and walk down to the small beach and set up your chairs and towels. You take your cover up off and start spraying your sunscreen.

“That’s, uh, you’re suit is really pretty, Y/N.”

“Oh!” You turn around. “Thanks.” You smile. You watch as he takes his shirt off. “Do you want me to spray you?”

“That would be great, thanks.”

You nod and get the sunscreen on him his chest and back. You both sit down and look out towards the water.

“It’s beautiful here.” You say.

“Yeah, not too much to complain about.”

“No waves though…”

“Sometimes there are when the boats go by.” He grabs a book out of his bag. “You don’t mind if I read do you?”

“Not at all! I brought some things to read too.”

He smiles at you and gets settled. He looks at you when he hears the click of a pen.

“Why are you working?”

“This is just what I felt like reading. I really like learning and doing research.”

“Don’t we all?” He smirks. “Wouldn’t be very good faculty members if we didn’t.”

“Very true.” You grin. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“How come you kissed me like that this morning?”

“Because I wanted to.” He looks at you. “You didn’t like it?”

“No, I did…I was just surprised. You’re such a mellow guy, I-“

“I can get a little excited sometimes. Just let me know if it ever bothers you.”

“I will.”

You both smile at each other and then get back to your reading. After an hour or so, you get up to stretch.

“Wanna test the water?” He asks.

“Yeah.”

He gets up and takes his glasses off, and then carefully takes your hand in his as you walk down to the water. You happily intertwine your fingers with his. You were shocked at how warm the water was, but you welcome it. You don’t realize that Harry’s let go of your hand until you hear the splash he makes as he dives in. You giggle when he comes back up, floating on his back.

“Feels amazing!”

You wade in deeper and swim towards him.

“Yeah, it does. This is perfect, Har, thanks.”

“We can do this whenever you want. I like coming here to work. It’s peaceful, gets me out of town for a bit.”

“Might have to take you up on that.”

You both swim for a while and get out when you start getting pruney. Harry grabs a fresh towel that isn’t laying on the sand to wrap around you, rubbing at your arms and shoulders.

“Are you getting hungry?” He asks. “I made cucumber sandwiches.”

“You’re always making food for me, it’s so sweet.” You press your forehead to his chest and he hugs you close.

“I like taking care of people, wouldn’t mind adding you to the list.” This makes you look up at him. His eyes never looked so beautiful, you think.

“Cucumber sandwiches sound great.”

He kisses your forehead before letting you go. He pops the cooler open and hands you a sandwich. You both sit on the large towel he had put out onto the sand. You guzzle some water down as well.

“Where are we going for dinner later?”

“There’s this nice, yet casual seafood place I thought you might like. Outdoor dining and all that.”

“Oh, that does sound nice.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

//

After a quick shower, you put on your simple blue sundress, and meet Harry in the kitchen. His smile grows when he sees you. He gets everything into the car, as you’ll be driving back after dinner. Your eyes light up when you see the restaurant. It was right on the water, and you’d get a beautiful view of the sunset.

You’re seated outside, and you both decide on some sparkling water with lemon for a drink. You order some broiled scallops, and harry goes for some baked haddock. You each snag a roll and butter them up.

“Mm! Is this maple butter?” You ask.

“Yeah! Isn’t it good? I never had anything like it before I came here.”

“It’s delicious. I love when restaurants have flavored butter, makes me think things are more homemade.”

“Same here!”

Your food gets brought out, and it’s absolutely amazing. You couldn’t remember the last time you had scallops so good.

“If you ever come with me to Boston I can take you to this great seafood place I know. It’s near the north end.”

“I’ve been to that area before, I went to an Italian place though.”

“There’s too many good places to eat, it’s a good problem to have.”

You both suck on mints and hold hands at the table as you watch the sun start to go down. He takes your rand and raises it to his lips a couple of times. Harry pays for the meal, even though you told him you could split it. He looked at you like you were crazy, and it made you laugh.

“This was a really great day, thanks again.”

“I really like spending time with you, Y/N.”

“I like spending time with you too.”

You hold hands the entire drive home, and everything about it just feels right. You chat here and there, but mostly you have a comfortable silence as music plays softly in the background. You both were a little tired from being in the sun for most of the day. Harry starts to feel a little nervous when he pulls up to your building. He wasn’t sure if the night was necessarily over or not. He unbuckles his seat when you do and you look at each other. He reaches forward and tucks some loose hair behind your ear. His gaze was burning into you. You felt a little like a teenager, sitting in a boy’s car, waiting for your kiss goodnight. It was cute.

He caresses your cheek, and slides it cautiously to the back of your neck to pull you forward. You lean in, as awkward as the positioning is with the console in the way, and his lips press to yours. Your eyes flutter closed at the contact, and you can slightly taste the mint that he had been sucking on earlier. His tongue swipe across your bottom lip, and you open up for him. At first he just gently bites down on your bottom lip, sucking on it with care. You moan softly, and you feel his smile grow as he kisses you. He licks into your mouth, and you mold your tongue to his. You reach a hand forward to cup his jaw, and his other hand goes to your back so he can pull you a little closer. The windows of the car were starting to fog up, and as you look up at him you noticed his glasses were too, and this makes you giggle.

“What is it?” He chuckles, knowing full well that his glasses fogged up.

“It’s a little steamy in here.” You pull them off his face and he takes them from you. He grabs the case he keeps in the console and puts them away.

He cups your jaw with both of his hands and he brings his lips back to yours. Your hands tug at his shirt. You wanted his body on yours, you wanted to feel his full weight on you. You were both adults, you’ve known him almost a year, just ask him the fuck inside!

“H-Harry?” You say against his lips.

“Yeah?”

“Do you…um…wanna come up?”

“I do…but…”

“But what?” You caress his cheek and rub your thumb over his cheekbone.

“I just, I don’t know, I don’t wanna rush anything…and I feel like if I go up there with you, we’re going to rush into something.”

He was right. Even though you just wanted to make out a little easier, something a little more serious could happen, and you wanted to take things slow with him to make sure this really was a good choice for the two of you.

“It’s really more me, I don’t trust myself.” He continues. “You’re so fucking beautiful and perfect, and you drive me crazy in the best possible way.” He presses his forehead to yours.

“Christ.” You breathe. “Okay.” You look at him. “Call it a night then, yeah?”

“Yeah…but I’ll walk you to your door.”

“Okay.”

He turns the car off and jogs around the other side to open your door. He walks you up and you look at him. You throw your arms around his neck and kiss him again. Just like this morning, he back you up against the door, and this time he presses his body to yours. The warmth you had been craving you were finally getting a taste of. His hands on your grip you tightly. When you press your hips forward to his he backs away and kisses the corner of your mouth, a slight whine leaving your lips. The noise you make feeds right into his inner narcissist, and he can’t help but grin as he steps further away from you.

“So, when would you like to get together next?”

“Definitely before the conference.” You breathe. “Maybe we could get together for a movie?”

“I’d like that.” He smiles. “Saturday night?”

“Saturday night.” You nod. He steps forward just to give you a peck on the cheek, and he turns to go to his car.

You take a deep breath and head up to your apartment. He was a good kisser, like, a really good kisser. You could kick yourself for not opening your eyes up to this sooner, to him sooner.  

//

“Dad!” Andy sprints out of the front door of Paige’s home on Friday afternoon.

Noah had invited Harry over for a boat ride with him, Andy, and Rachel, and Harry was missing Andy terribly so he didn’t turn it down.

“Hey, buddy.” Harry and Andy share a nice hug before going back inside.

“Hey, H.” Noah says, shaking Harry’s hand. “Glad you could make it.”

“Yeah, hi, thanks for the invite. Definitely nice to get out of the house for a bit. I was a little lazy this morning.”

“Must be nice to have the summer off, yeah?”

“Well…I mean, I’m still working, writing and all that, getting my classes prepared. It’s nice not being in my stuffy office though.” He chuckles.

“Hi, Uncle Harry!” Rachel gives Harry a hug.

“Hi, sweetheart, enjoying summer so far?”

“Mhm!”

Everyone heads out to the boat, and Noah fires it up so they can get going. It was a beautiful day out. Harry thinks you’d love it, being out on the open water. Maybe sometime he’d be able to bring you along for something like this. Andy plops down next to Harry and he grins at him.

“What’s that look for?”

“How was the cabin with Y/N?”

“Oh geez.” Harry rolls his eyes. “We sat outside, caught some sun, and then we went to dinner. It was a lovely time.”

“She had fun?”

“A lot.”

“That’s good.” They look at each other for a moment. “Did you kiss her?”

“Andy…”

“Just answer the question, Uncle Harry!”

“Yeah, Uncle Harry!” Noah chimes in and Harry groans.

“Yes, we’ve kissed, okay? A few times.”

“What?! When was the first time?!” Andy asks, almost offended his father didn’t give him the juicy details yet.

“When she came by with the pizza…we kissed, and then we kissed again yesterday. It was nice.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I just didn’t want to get your hopes up…mine either I suppose. I don’t want to get too ahead of myself in case it doesn’t work out with her.”

“Why wouldn’t it work out?” Rachel asks. “You’re really funny, girls like boys that are funny.”

“Is that so?” Harry raises an eyebrow at her.

“Who taught you that?” Noah asks. “Better not be any boys in school making you laugh.”

“Go back to the original question, why wouldn’t it work out?” Andy asks.

“I don’t know.” Harry shrugs. “It’s all a part of the beginning stages of dating, I guess. You go out so you can see if you’re a good fit, and you keep going out to make sure it works, that’s all.”

“When do you see her again, H?” Noah asks, anchoring the boat out at the sandbar in the lake.

“Um, tomorrow evening. We’re going to watch a movie or something. I have to call her to see whose place we’re going to and all that.”

“That’ll be so much fun!” Rachel exclaims as Noah helps her with some sunscreen.

“Yeah, just don’t watch something that’ll make you cry.” Andy says, putting on some sunscreen of his own. “You don’t wanna freak her out.”

“I actually don’t mind crying in front of people. It’s important to show when you’re vulnerable.”

“Maybe so, but nothing’s cute about you blubbering like a baby at the end of Titanic.”

“Oi! I don’t understand how her dying, and seeing that everyone, including Jack, was waiting for her, mixed in with the music doesn’t get to you!”

“It does, but it’s not that sad!”

“It’s not that it’s sad, it’s beautiful! It’s true love!”

“Hey, um, guys…” Noah clears his throat. “Other boats around, you know?”

“Sorry, we must have this argument at least once a month.” Harry huffs. “Someday you’re going to watch it and it’s all going to hit you, and I’ll be there recording you absolutely losing it. Now come here, I need to put your hair up.”

Andy sits down in front of Harry so he can make a little sprout on the top of his head with a hair-tie before him and Rachel go jumping into the water.

“Dad! Do a backflip!” Andy calls to him.

“Don’t think I’m quite limber enough for that.” He laughs. “Think I’m gonna sit up here for bit, you have fun with your sis…with Rachel.” He had to stop himself, he knew Andy didn’t really want to think of Rachel as his sister just yet, even though every adult around them saw them as siblings.

“You can do a backflip?” Noah asks, shifting his gaze between Harry and the kids.

“I used to be able to, don’t know if I could do it now.”

“Paige will be thrilled to hear things are going well with you and Y/N.”

“I’m sure Andy’s gonna tell her everything the second she gets home. Sucks she had to work today.”

“I know, I feel bad she can’t work from home as often as I can, but they need her in the office. He’s been having a great time with us, by the way. He misses you, obviously, but he’s been doing great.”

“Oh, that’s so good to hear, thanks. I miss him a lot at night, the house is a little too quiet, but I won’t have to get used to it for long.”

“Right.” Noah smiles.

“We’re going to a conference together at the end of the month, Y/N and I…it’s in New York, and we’re driving there together.”

“That’s great!”

“Yeah, I’m excited. We’re still staying in separate rooms though, little too soon to be overnight in a hotel, right?”

“You two already spent the together camping, is there a big difference?”

“It’s not like we shared a sleeping bag, we were just in the same tent, sharing the same space, and we had separate bathrooms to get ready and everything like that. I’d rather her spend the night at my house before we go to a hotel. It would feel like we were going away together or something.”

“She seems pretty easy going, try not to get too into your head about it.”

//

You: hey you! Hope you had a nice Friday. Did you wanna come to my place tonight??

Harry: hey! Yeah, I did. I went on Noah’s boat with the kids. And yeah, we can do your place :)

You: Great! Do you like those vegan chicken wings? I thought I could pop those in the oven for us along with some French fries or something of that nature…

Harry: sounds amazing, can I bring anything??

You: just yourself and whatever you may want to drink, I only have wine here

Harry: okay, what time you thinking?

You: 7??

Harry: works for me, see you then!

Harry loved getting to wake up to a sweet text from you. hey you! He thought it was really cute, like you almost wanted to call him a pet name or something, but you knew it was too soon. He gets out of bed to do his morning routine, and heads to the liquor store to grab some blueberry beer, his favorite for the summer time. He also knows that your sweet tooth comes out in full force when you drink, so he picks up some chocolate chip cookies as well. He wonders what movie you’re going to watch. There were so many good ones to choose from, after all.

He throws on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, and heads to your place when the time comes. You buzz him in, and you leave the door open for him. When he comes in your place smells like fries, which he doesn’t mind one bit.

“Hello!” He shouts as he closes the door.

“Hey!” You walk over to him wearing a pair of shorts and a tank top, and kiss his cheek.

“I brought cookies…”

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that, you’re so sweet, thanks. I just put everything out on the coffee table. Feel free to take more, I’ve just seen you eat so many times I figured I put enough, and there’s some dipping sauces too.”

“You think of everything.” He smiles.

“Do you want me to put some of those in the fridge?” You ask, pointing to his beer.

“Yeah, that’d be great. Feel free to try one if you like, it’s my favorite flavor.”

“That’s alright, I ended up grabbing some hard seltzer’s for myself. Need a break from wine.”

He takes one of his beers out of the six pack, and you stick the rest in the fridge. He sits down on your couch and you come to sit next to him.

“This looks great, thanks for putting it all together.”

“Of course! I didn’t really do much. Just turned the oven on and made sure nothing burned.” You laugh.

“So, what do you feel like watching?”

“Have you ever seen Fifty First Dates or The Wedding Singer?”

“Aren’t those Adam Sandler movies…?”

“Yeah! Two of his best in my opinion. I thought it would be nice to watch a lighthearted romcom, but we don’t have to watch either of those.”

“I could be down for Fifty First Dates, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it all the way through.”

“Really?! It’s so good, Drew Barrymore is in it with him. It’s super unrealistic, but really fun and sweet.”

Call Harry a snob, but he didn’t watch movies like these often. Guess it couldn’t hurt to not sit there and have to really analyze things, he thinks. They both scarf down their food during the first ten minutes of the movie, and sip their drinks. They were sitting closely together, but you felt like you were in high school again. Watching a movie with the boy you like and him not making a move out of fear a parent was going to walk in. But a parent wasn’t going to walk in, so you take Harry’s arm and put it around you, leaning into him. He smiles down at you and gives your arm a squeeze as you both get more comfortable.

“That’s…that’s not how memory loss disorders work.” He says.

“I know…suspension of disbelief, Har.”

“I mean…I know, but what a-“

“If you call this movie stupid I’m gonna smack you.”

“I wasn’t going to say that, I just can’t…like…oh!”

“What?” You chuckle.

“That’s why they call it Fifty First Dates…because every date to her is a first date.”

“Yeah, no shit Sherlock.” You laugh.

“Oi! I’m still trying to figure out the plot, leave me alone.” He pulls you closer to him.

“Stop trying to figure things out, just watch it and go with the flow.”

“Just can’t seem to turn my brain off, I guess.”

“Have another beer then.” You stand up and grab your empty can, and his bottle. “I can grab it for you if you want.”

“That’d be great, thanks.”

You come back a few moments later and sit back down with two new drinks. Harry puts his arm back around you and you feel incredibly cozy. You weren’t sure what it was about him, but you loved how warm he always seemed to be. He mindlessly lets his fingers move up and down your arm as you watch the movie. Everything just felt so natural, no nerves at all.

Well, you didn’t have any nerves, Harry, on the other hand, was a ball of nerves. He wasn’t quite sure what to say or do, and he didn’t want to get too tipsy either. It was nice being over at your place, he just wondered what may end up happening on this couch of yours. Not that anything needed to happen…but he certainly wouldn’t mind kissing you again. He casually takes his packet of gum out of his pocket and takes a piece out for himself.

“Gum?” He asks you.

“Sure! Thanks.” You take a piece and pop it into your mouth. “I feel like you always have gum on you.”

“That’s because I do.” He chuckles. “I used to smoke, like, a lot…think I just like having something in my mouth, honestly. I quit when Andy was born, but I didn’t wanna gain a bunch of weight, so I started chewing gum.”

“You pick at your lips a lot too.” You say bluntly, and his eyebrows raise as he looks at you. “Just something I picked up on.”

“Well, look at you reading me like the communication master you are.”

“I’m sure we all do it to each other.” You chew your bottom lip.

“You do that a lot.”

“What?”

“Gnaw at your bottom lip. You do it in meetings, or, like, when I come to see you in your office you’re doing it, when I observed you in class you did it while you were waiting for students to answer your questions. You’re a lip chewer.”

“And you’re a lip picker.” You chuckle, and he can’t help but laugh either. “I wish I knew why I did it…it’s like, I don’t know, it calms my nerves or something.”

“Is that why you like it when I do it while I’m kissing you?”

Everything feels slowed down now. Your eyes widen, and he does that thing he tends to do before he kisses you where he brushes some hair behind your ear, and cups your jaw.

“Yes.” You finally say.

He smiles and leans in, and your eyes flutter closed. He bites down on your bottom lip immediately, and you tug him closer to you.

“Can I please sit in your lap? I need to be closer to you.” You breathe.

He nods quickly and pulls you to sit on him. Your chests are now pressed together, and your arms around his neck, fingers tugging at the hair at the nape of his neck. His hands are squeezing at your hips as your tongues meet, deepening your kiss. His glasses get in the way a bit and you grunt.

“Do you own contacts?” You ask as you take them off his face, and set them on the coffee table.

“Yeah, but they’re uncomfortable.” He smirks. “What’s wrong, getting in the way?”

“Yeah.” You pout.

“Poor thing.” He pouts back at you.

He nips at your bottom lip again before moving to sponge kisses to your jaw and just below your ear. You gasp when you feel his teeth graze you. You tug at his hair and involuntarily roll your hips down on his.

“Like that?” He says against your skin.

“Yes…I…I really like being bitten, please…” You press his head back down into your neck, and he happily obliges. He mumbles something against you. “What?”

“Mm, I said, do you care if I leave a mark?”

“Nah, I can just cover it up with some makeup. It’s fine.” You smile. “Please, it feels so good, just keep going.”

You press your lips to his briefly before letting him continue. He moves your tank top and bra strap to the side so he can kiss and suck on the crook of your neck. You tug at his hair again and he grunts into you. You roll your hips onto him again as you start breathing heavier. His hands move up and down your back as he plants kisses back up your neck, jaw, and then to your mouth again. You lick into his mouth and start sucking on his tongue. His hips buck up to yours and you feel it. He’s hard, god is he hard. You both moan into each other, and you move to kiss on his neck. You know not to leave a mark on him, Andy would surely tease him, so you just mouth and lick over the areas you feel like. His hands slide up the front of your body and he starts kneading your breasts over your shirt.

“Is this okay?” He asks gruffly. “I can touch you?”

“Yes.”

He kisses on the top of your chest while his hands work over your breasts. He bites down on the fleshier parts towards the tops of your breasts, and your head rolls back.

“Your skin’s turning red…” He looks up at you and drags his fingers over the new marks on your chest.

“M’sensitive.” You pout. “It’ll go down later.”

“Maybe we should cool it for a bit?”

“No!” You whine and grind yourself against him again. “Don’t you want me?”

“Of course I do! I just…you know, we were watching a movie, and-“

“You don’t wanna take it farther than this?” You ask softly.

“Not yet, love.” He caresses your cheek and you lean further into his palm. “I mean…I do, but it’s been a while since I’ve liked someone this much and I don’t wanna rush into anything.”

“I get it.” You smile. “Would you wanna just cuddle while we watch the rest?”

“Yeah.” He kisses your forehead.

You get off his lap and lay on the couch, and he lays behind you, putting a leg between yours and an arm around your waist. You sigh happily and adjust into him.

“This is so nice.” You turn to look at him. “I love being held, I don’t know what it is. I really did sleep well when we went camping because of you.”

“I didn’t even realize I had basically latched onto you.” He chuckles. “But I know what you mean, I like being little spoon sometimes too.”

“Aww, really? I like being big spoon sometimes. It’s nice to hold someone.”

“It’s nice to be held.” He leans in and pecks at your lips before you turn back to face the TV.

Harry mindlessly strokes your hip and side while watching the rest of the movie. As the movie comes to the end, where Lucy wakes up to watch her tape like she does every day, and sees she has a daughter, you hear sniffling from behind you. You turn and look up at Harry who had a few tears running down his cheeks.

“Are…are you crying?”

“I just wasn’t expecting, I mean, goddammit the same fucking thing happened to me with Click! I don’t trust him anymore. He’s sneaky with these moment. I’m just glad they were able to make it work.” He sits up to wipe his eyes. “Love finding a way, one of my favorite tropes.”

You grip your hand around the collar of his shirt and yank him down to you, getting a surprised “Oof!” from him. You slot your lips over his and wrap your arms and legs around him. He sinks into the kiss and grinds himself against you. His lips kiss across chest and to another part of your neck.

“Ngh, you’re so hard.”

“I know.” He murmurs into your neck.

“And you really don’t want me to do anything about it?” He pops his head up at that.

He’d love nothing more than to shove his dick down your throat, but he knew how he was. Harry liked being physical in his relationships, and he knew once all that started, it would be difficult to stop. Hell, even now, after one kiss he couldn’t wait for more.

“Another time, I promise. Let’s try to get to a third date, how does that sound?”

“Sounds responsible.” You giggle and kiss the tip of his nose. You both sit up and look at each other. “You know what’s really nice about all this?”

“What’s that?”

“We don’t have to go through the awkward getting to know each other phase because we’ve done that already. I mean, we’re still learning about each other, but I like that I already know how to talk to you and stuff.”

“Me too! I feel the exact same way. Like, I was nervous to take this step with you because I didn’t really know how you were feeling, but I’ve always liked talking to you. I hope you know how much I genuinely value your friendship.”

“That means a lot to me.”

“I’m really glad we’re doing this.”

“Me too, Har.”

“I think I’m gonna call it a night, but I had a great time. Thank you for hosting.”

“Of course! I’m glad we could have an easy night in.”

He helps you clean up the plates from dinner. You each eat one of the cookies he brought over, and share a crumble-filled kiss before he heads out. The second Harry get through his door he sighs, and then sprints to his room. He rips his clothes off and grabs some lotion, and sprawls out onto his bed. His dick was throbbing from rubbing it on your for most of the night.

He runs his thumb over his now leaking tip and pumps himself. His eyes pinch closed and he grits his teeth. The one good thing about Andy being gone was that Harry a) didn’t feel weird about rubbing one out, and b) he could moan out as loudly as he wanted without care, which made the final result so much better. He imagines your mouth around him, you looking up at him with bleary eyes, gagging on him trying to take as much of him as you can because just want to be so good for him.

“Fuck, oh my god!” He cries out as he thick, white ropes of his come spurt out onto his hand and lower belly. He takes a few moments to catch his breath before cleaning up.

Once he’s clean he gets settled into bed. He’s too tired to read so he turns his light off and just as he’s about to set his phone on do not disturb a text from you comes in, and he smiles ear to ear.

You: that was a lot of fun tonight, can’t wait to see you again :)

Harry: I had a great time too…when do you think you’d like to get together next?

You: not sure…might be going to Boston in a couple of days to house sit for my parents, they have a dog they can’t bring with them to a hotel…I could let you know when I get back though!

Harry: yeah! Just let me know when you’re free

You: I will…goodnight Har

Harry: goodnight Y/N

Harry sighs happily and sets his phone down. You both fall asleep with smiles on your faces.

//

You end up having to go to Boston to house sit. Your parents had a wedding to go to. You had no problem hanging out with their dog, he was a sweet little thing. Your brother, Phil, and his partner, Julian, come over one night for dinner, and Phil notices the fading marks on your neck and collar.

“Damn, who you been seeing?” He chuckles as you all sit outside to eat.

“Oh god.” You laugh and touch one of the marks. “Okay, so you know how I was telling you guys about my cute office neighbor and how we’ve become pretty good friends?”

“Shut the fuck up.” Julian gasps.

“Turns out we like each other, and we’ve sort of started dating.”

“That’s great!” Phil says. “What’s his name again?”

“Harry, Dr. Harry Styles. He’s really sweet and we have a lot of fun together.”

“You went camping with him, right?” Julian asks.

“Mhm, we slept in the same tent, and we woke up spooning. We’ve made out a few times, nothing really serious has happened yet.” You shrug. “He was so cute, he said he hasn’t liked someone this much in a while and he doesn’t wanna mess it up.”

“When was his last relationship?” Phil asks.

“He said he’s dated here and there, but he hasn’t had something serious in a while.”

“Why?”

“He…has a son…”

“Oh, wow, how old?” Julian asks.

“He just turned eleven in May.”

“And how old is Harry?” Phil asks.

“He’s thirty-two, and I’m about to be twenty-seven, it’s the same our age difference.”

“You’re okay with dating someone who has a kid in middle school? What’s the deal with the mom?”

“I mean…he’s a really sweet boy, and I’ve known him for almost a year. Her name is Paige, and she lives like thirty minutes away from us. Her and Harry have this really good co-parenting thing going. She has a boyfriend that lives with her and he has a daughter. I’ve never seen such a civil set up, honestly.”

“I just can’t believe you’re comfortable with jumping into all that. I hope he’s worth it.” Phil says.

“I think he will be.” You smile. “We’re just seeing how things go, I’m not saying I’m going to marry the guy.”

“Then why date him at all?”

“Phil.” Julian nudges him. “I think it’s great you’re testing the waters. See how it goes, and then if things get serious you can talk about all of that other stuff.”

“I just know you wanna have kids and stuff someday, and I don’t want you wasting your time with someone who has done it all already and doesn’t want to do it again, and I’m saying that now because you know mom and dad are going to say the same thing when you eventually tell them.”

“First of all, they better not find out until I tell them. I’m not saying a damn thing until we make things official, alright? Second of all, I don’t feel like he’s a waste of time. I…I think he’s exactly what I’ve been looking for.”

//

Harry was working away at the library. It was a dreary, muggy day out, and he needed to get out of the house. He was working on his presentation for the conference, making sure his data was in order. Typically, he wouldn’t check his phone while he was working, but he just happened to glance and see your name, so of course he had to check.

You: hey! I’m back from Boston…shitty day out, huh? It was a monsoon driving back up lol, anyways, weather is looking good for tomorrow, have you ever floated the river in town?

Harry: glad you made it back in one piece! Course I have, tons of times. You didn’t go last year?

You: had no one to go with! Would you wanna give that a try with me? I could pack a cooler for us if you get the tubes

Harry: cute of you to think we’d use tubes, air mattress is where it’s at to float the river

You: so that’s a yes?

Harry: it’s a hell yes ;)

You: yay! If you want you can park at the end spot, and I can come pick you up there, and I’ll park where it starts

Harry: brilliant, looking forward to it

Harry sets his phone back down, and can’t wipe the smile off his face while he gets back to work.

You: doing anything fun…

Harry: working at the library, actually…so a different kind of fun

You: no shit? I’m actually headed there now…can I join you?

Harry: I’d be offended if you didn’t ;p

You: lol see you soon

You show up about ten or so minutes later, and sit down across from him. You whisper a hello and he whispers one back. It was nice to be able to just together and get work done at the same time. He wasn’t proving to be a major distraction, which was good. He hears you suck your teeth a couple of times and he looks up.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, my head’s just blanking…I’m trying to think of this particular word, and it’s not coming to me…oh!” You type fast before you forget it. “Got it, all set now.” You chuckle and so does he.

Since it was still raining when you both left you couldn’t exactly kiss for long, but you both confirm your plans again before you leave. You both were looking forward to your day on the river.

//

You pick Harry up at the ending spot, and he throws the air mattress in your trunk.

“How long does it take to float the whole thing?” You ask.

“With how today’s current is looking, could be roughly three hours.”

“Perfect. I love lazy days like this. It’s really hot out, I packed plenty of water, and I grabbed some seltzers and that blueberry beer you like.”

“Oh…um, thanks.” He smiles as his cheeks grow red. It wasn’t a big deal, but it was something you remembered about him, and it made his heart flutter a little.

“No worries, you had left a few in my fridge that night you came over, so I just grabbed more.” You shrug. “Tasted one, it was actually pretty refreshing.”

“It just tastes like summer to me, I don’t know how to describe it. There’s a brewery, like, thirty minutes north from here if you’d ever wanna check it out.”

“I’d love to! I like trying new things.”

Once you’re parked, Harry gets the air mattress blow up, and you grab the cooler. He furrows his brows at you for a moment.

“What?”

“Are you not wearing pants?”

“No, I just threw a big t-shirt on over my bathing suit. Do I need pants?”

“No.” He chuckles. “Was just slightly confused for a second.”

You both get settled on the water and start your float. You peel your shirt off and lay back on the air mattress. You have a different one piece on today. Floral on the top, black on the bottom. Harry lays next to you.

“This is perfect.” You say, turning your head towards him.

“Yeah…would you say this is our third date?”

“I’d say so.” You smile.

“Still having fun with me?”

“Loads.” You reach for his hand and give it a squeeze. “It was fun just working near each other yesterday.”

“I felt the same way.”

“How are you feeling about your presentation?”

“Pretty good, actually…I saw the itinerary came out the other day…do you think you’ll come to mine?”

“Of course! I wouldn’t miss it. Besides, the other presentations happening at that time didn’t really seem interesting.” You tease him.

“Gee, thanks.” He rolls his eyes. “How was your parent’s house?”

“Good, my brother and his partner came by for dinner one night. Got some work done. Nothing too exciting.”

“How come your parents didn’t just ask them to house sit?”

“Because apparently I don’t work in the summer.” You sigh. “They don’t really understand how my job works, and I’m too exhausted to explain it to them again.” You sit up and grab a seltzer out of the cooler. “Drink?”

“Please.” He sits up as well and takes a beer from you.

“What about your family?”

“Oh, mum’s over the moon about my career. She wishes I was closer, obviously, but sister and her kids keep her busy.” He takes a sip of his drink.

You look around and love how peaceful everything is.

“I’m surprised there aren’t a bunch of college kids out here, or even locals.”

“August is when it’ll really pick up. People are out traveling now. I think we also just came at a good time. You know, I have a couple of kayaks at the cabin, we could head up there again sometime and do that.”

“I love kayaking! I used to go with my friends when I was younger. It’s so much fun.” You smile and sip your own drink. “When do you get Andy back?”

“Mid-August, just to get him ready for the school year, make sure he has everything he needs, get back into our routine.”

“That’ll be nice. He’s a really great kid.”

“Thanks.” He smiles. “Really glad I get to be his dad.”

“Did you, um, ever want to have more?” You try to say it as nonchalantly as you can.

“I did…always wanted a younger sibling for him.” He smirks. “I was so stupid, I even asked Paige, like, forever ago, if she wanted me to just get her pregnant again, but she pointed out bringing another kid into a ‘broken’ home probably wouldn’t be a great idea.” He shrugs. “She was right, but it bruised my ego.”

“Why’s that?”

“Not exactly a great feeling when someone tells you that they don’t want to have another one of your kids.” He sips his drink. “But that was nearly ten years ago. I don’t know how we would have handled another, honestly.”

“Must have been difficult being so young when he was born.”

“There was a learning curve, that’s for sure. If I had another now I feel like I’d be a pro.”

“Please, with how competitive you are, you’d make sure you were the world’s best father.”

“Are you saying I haven’t already gotten that title? Because the mug I use every morning would prove you wrong.”

You burst out laughing and nudge him, and he laughs. You lay on your stomach for a bit while he lays on his back. It’s a nice, smooth float down the river. You steal kisses from each other, but you don’t go too crazy because, after all, you were out in the open. Things do feel a little…intimate, though, when you take turns getting sun screen on each other. Harry’s fingers were slightly calloused, no doubt from whatever handy work he did from around his home and gardens. You wanted to feel them all over you.

“Do you wanna come over for dinner tonight?” He asks as he drives you back to your car. “I could throw something on the grill. I have stuff to make shrimp kabobs.”

“Oh, you just happened to have that stuff laying around?”

“Yeah, don’t you?”

You loved that the two of you teased each other. It was playful and fun, and always made you laugh.

“I’d love to come by for dinner. Seems like it’s going to be a nice night.”

“It definitely will be.”

//

Harry was getting everything ready, running around his house. He wasn’t sure what might happen tonight, but he sure as hell made sure to put fresh sheets on his bed, and double checked he had condoms. He was just turning the grill on when he heard the doorbell. He heads inside to open the door.

“Hey.” You smile.

“Hi, come on in.” He gestures, and you walk in. You follow him outside to his deck. He had set the table out there and it looked lovely.

“Aw, this looks great, Har.”

“Thanks, just getting the food on now, can I get you anything? I got a bottle of white to go with dinner.”

“That’s perfect, thanks.” You pour two glasses of wine and sit down while he grills. Once everything is done he sits with you at the table. “This smells so good.”

He smiles as you both dig in, and you moan softly from the taste.

“So good, Har. You’re such a good cook.”

“Thanks, I’m glad you like it.”

After you eat and clean up, you sit on the other chairs he has on the deck, and suck on some mints.

“It was a perfect day.” You say. “Took a power nap after I showered.”

“You got a lot of color, I don’t blame you.” He looks you up and down. “That’s a nice dress, by the way.”

You were wearing a green sundress, nothing you thought was terribly special.

“Oh, thanks. I’ve had it for years.”

“Your birthday’s coming up soon, right?”

“Yeah! Beginning of August. Think I’m gonna have dinner at my parent’s house or something.”

“Do they ever come up here? I feel like you’re always going down there.”

“They’ve been up a few times, but I honestly don’t mind it. Gives me an excuse to see friends and just be in the city.”

“So…you’re just going to do a family thing?”

“Yeah, probably.” You shrug. “Birthdays aren’t really a big deal to me. Besides, we’ll just be getting back from the conference. My gift to myself will just be sleeping and not working.”

“Right.” He nods.

“That’ll be fun, the conference.”

“Yeah, I haven’t been to New York in a while, I hope it won’t be too hot out.”

“I know some really great places to get dinner if you feel like exploring a bit.”

“You’re a bit of a foodie, aren’t you?”

“A wee bit.” You giggle. You look over at him, and bite your bottom lip. In a bold move you get up and sit in his lap, straddling him.

“Hello there.”

“Hi.”

You run your hands along his shoulders and then up to his jaw. You lean down and kiss him. His hands squeeze at your hips as you take his bottom lip between your teeth. You press your chest to his and tug at his hair.

“Mm, you’re an eager thing tonight.” He tucks some hair behind your ear. You know he wants this too.

“Been wanting to do this all day.” You pout at him. “We’re nice and alone now.” You kiss his cheek and work your way to his jaw and then his neck.

Harry liked having your body on his. He liked the way it felt to have you all over him, showing him how much you wanted him.

“You smell so good.” You murmur against him. You move to kiss him again. “Can we go inside?”

“And what exactly would you like to do in there?” He smirks at you.

“Get even more comfortable.” You bite your bottom lip. His thumb comes up and pulls it away. He leans up and takes it between his own teeth to suck on. You moan softly as he lets it go. “Please.” He nods yes, and you get off him.

You both go through his sliding door into the living room. He wraps his arms around you from behind and kisses on your neck. You tilt your head to give him more access. He sinks his teeth in and you back up against him. He walks you forward towards the couch, and turns you around to lay you down on it. You tug him down with you, and wrap your arms around his neck. One of his hands kneads your breast and the other stays on your hip. You wrap your legs around his waist, and he looks down at you.

“What is it?”

“I don’t wanna be too forward, but can we move this to my room? I’d feel weird doing anything out here…this is a…family space.”

“Mhm, yeah, that’s fine.” You smile excitedly. It’s where you wanted to be anyways.

He has you keep your legs wrapped around him while he stands up. You crash your lips to his as he carries you to his room. He gets you onto the bed, and you’re both back into position, with him laying on top of you between your legs. He pulls away from your kiss and runs his thumb over your now swollen and bitten lips. Your chest was flushed and you were breathing heavily.

“Please, take your shirt off.” You tell him. He reaches behind himself to tug it off, tossing it to the floor.

Goosebumps raise on his skin as you run your hands up and down his chest and torso, tracing his tattoos. You let one hand scratch down his chest to his stomach. His hands rub circles into your upper thighs. He makes fists with the hem of your dress. You sit up slightly and lift your arms. He grins and lifts your dress off you.

Not that matching underwear was ever a big deal to you, but tonight you made sure to wear a special set. Green lace to match your green dress.

“God.” He breathes and brings his hands to your breasts.

“You can take it off if you want.” You use your upper arms to push your breasts closer together. “Or I could do it and you get rid of those shorts.”

“Deal.” He takes his shorts off and you get your bra off. His eyes grow wide when he sees you. “Christ.” He takes his glasses off and sets them on his side table before kissing down your chest.

He cups both of your breasts and licks over one of your nipples. He blows cool air on it, getting it nice and pebbled. You were fidgeting underneath him, your body writhing with anticipation. He rolls your nipple between his teeth before sucking on it. You rake your fingers through his hair and he groans against you. You could feel how hard he was and you grind your hips up towards him. He pops off your nipple and smirks at you.

“You really are eager tonight.”

“I want you, Harry.”

“I want you too…but…”

“You don’t wanna go all the way tonight?”

“I don’t know…is it too soon?”

“Why are you asking me?” You chuckle.

“Well, I mean, you really wanna just dive in?”

“I feel really comfortable with you, I wouldn’t mind if we fucked, but if you think it’s too soon we could…do other things.”

“If it were just me I’d say yeah, but…”

“I get it.” You smile. “So…can we do other stuff?”

“You mean like…” His fingers slowly drag down your stomach and over your clit before cupping you. “This?”

“Yes.” You gasp.

“You’re really wet, Y/N. Can feel it through these nice panties.”

“I-I know, I’m really turned on.”

“I did this to you?”

“Yes.” Your hips buck up when his thumb traces over your covered clit. You didn’t think Harry would be the type to tease, but you weren’t complaining.

“Yes, who?” He looks at you as he stops his motions.

“Yes…Harry.”

“You’ve told me a couple of things that you like, so you should know I really like hearing my name.” There’s that inner narcissist that he’s always talking about.

He moves his thumb back around your clit. He was killing you. Why not just take your underwear away? No, he wanted to see you squirm. He also wanted to watch and see what felt good. You move your hips along with the way he was moving his thumb, and as you feel yourself coming to the brink he takes his hand away.

“Not cool.” You huff.

“Aw, don’t worry.” He dips his fingers inside your underwear. “Is this alright?”

“Yes.” He raises his eyebrows at you. “Harry.” He smiles and rubs his fingers along your slit. “Could you…could you just take them off. I hate when I can feel it back against me, it’s cold.”

“Oh, sure.” He says, and hooks his fingers into your underwear to drag them down your legs. “Better?”

“Mhm.” You smile. “Thanks.”

He pecks your lips before getting his fingers back on you. You gasp when you feel his middle finger slip inside you. He brings it out and drags your wetness up to your clit, rubbing circles into it. You grit your teeth as you watch him. He slips two fingers back into you, and your legs fall open. He twists his fingers as he pumps them in and out, and then he curls them.

“Oh, fuck.” Your head falls back.

“Right there?”

“Yes, oh my fucking god, don’t stop, Harry.”

His fingers keep brushing your g-spot, and his thumb on your clit was incredible. You were panting and your body was starting to feel hot all over.

“Oh my god, oh my fucking god.” He starts using his other hand to rub your clit to rub better circles on you. “H-Harry, I’m gonna!” You cry out at as you release around his fingers. “Oh!” His mouth is on you the second his fingers are gone. He sucks your sensitive clit into his mouth as your hands fly to his hair. “Shit, fuck!” Your legs were shaking around him, and he was moaning into you. His tongue was working magic, and you already felt yourself getting ready to come again. “Ah, ah! Oh my god, Harry!” Your head rolls back into his pillows and it feels like you can’t see or hear anything. You feel him lick you clean and then he sits back on his calves waiting for you to come back to him. “Oh, wow.” You breathe.

“Good?”

“So good.” You look up at him. “I just, um, need a second and then I can-“

“You don’t have to if you’re tired…”

“No! No, I want to, I really do, um, can I just use your bathroom quick?”

“Yeah! Just through that door.”

You smile and get up, and quickly walk into his bathroom. You just wanted to clean yourself up, you were dripping still. You gasp when you see your reflection. Your eye makeup had gotten all smudged. You grin, wondering how much more fucked up you could look if he really fucked you. He was laying on the bed waiting for you.

“Hey.” You smile. “I really liked that, what you did. Felt so good.” You crawl on the bed and get between his legs.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, and now I’m gonna make you feel really good. This isn’t something I do often, only for guys I really like.” You tug his boxers down and he lifts his hips to help you. Your eyes grow wide and your mouth falls open. “Jesus.” You look at him. “How the hell do hide this all day?”

“Y/N.” He chuckles.

“You’re packing!” You spit into your hand and wrap it around him. You pump him slowly and run your palm over his tip to coat him in his precome.

“I’ve thought about this so many times.” He says.

“Really?”

“You have no idea. I may not have been fucking someone else while thinking of you, but I’ve definitely thought of you.”

“Not gonna let me live that down are you?” You smirk.

“Nope, fed my ego far too much to forget.”

“Mm, well, how does the real thing compare to your thoughts?” You lean your face down towards his tip.

“Way better than, ah!” You cut him off by wrapping your lips around his tip. Just like he had hoped, you look up at him while you suck on him. “God, you’re so fucking perfect, Y/N.” He reaches forward to hold your hair back for you. “Don’t feel like you need to be pretty about it, I like it sloppy.”

With that, you don’t hold back. You bob your head up and down on him, lick him up and down, squeeze his ball, get him down your throat a couple times, gagging and choking, and then popping off. You suckle on his tip and pump the rest.

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna come.” He groans.

You keep sucking and breathe through your nose as you feel his come spurt into your mouth. Usually you didn’t like the taste, and not that you especially did now, but it was some of the better tasting come you’ve had. You wonder if he drank a lot of pineapple juice or something. You suck on him until there’s nothing left, and pop off. You look him in the eyes as you swallow and wipe the corners of your mouth. Before you can ask him how good it was he grabs you by the back of your neck to kiss you.

“So, you liked it?” You giggle.

“It was so good, thank you.” He kisses you again. “So fucking good. Let me, uh, get you a shirt or something, yeah?”

“Why?” You chuckle.

“So…you’ll feel comfortable to sleep.” He says as he pulls his boxers back on. “Unless you like sleeping naked, which I have no problem with.”

“Oh, I don’t have to stay.” You say, grabbing your bra and underwear off the floor.

“You…you don’t wanna spend the night?”

“I don’t have any of my stuff here, like, I need to wash all this makeup off, and I’d wanna brush my teeth.” You snatch your dress and throw it on. “I’d just feel better in my own bed I think.”

“Oh.” He wanted to cuddle, he needed to cuddle.

“Is that okay?” You stand up and walk towards him.

“I’m not gonna force you to stay here if you don’t want to…”

“It’s not that I don’t want to…I just…I just think I’m too old to stay at a guy’s house and be uncomfortable and wake up feeling gross because I didn’t get to go through my normal routine.”

“Did you…think this was going to happen tonight?”

“I was hoping.”

“Then why didn’t you bring some of your things with you?”

“Harry!” You laugh. “Do you know how psycho that would look?” You shake your head and start walking out of his room.

“Hey.” He grabs your wrist. “Next time, just bring your shit with you, yeah? We’re not kids, I wouldn’t have been put off.”

“Alright, good to know.” You smile at him. “Are you mad that I’m leaving?” You cup his cheek.

“No.” He pouts.

“I’ll be honest, I’m not usually the sleepover girl, but if that’s something you like…maybe next time we could do this at my place? Ease into it a little.”

“Okay.” He presses his forehead to yours. “When’s next time?”

“Probably when we leave for the conference…only a few days away.”

“Right.” He kisses your cheek and down to your neck. Your eyes flutter closed. “You sure you need to go?” He mumbles as he bites down into your skin.

“Fuck.” You breathe. “I…”

“Actually, you’re right to go. Leave you wanting more.” He smirks and steps back from you.

“Goodnight.” You roll your eyes.

“Goodnight.”

You peck at his lips before heading out the door. Harry was beside himself. Anytime he hooked up with someone they either wanted to spend the night or wanted him to spend the night. He surely thought you were going to want to cuddle, or even stay after he alluded to it. But you held your own, and didn’t let him pressure you. He couldn’t help but respect that.

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

Four Times Nathan Proposed and One Time He Meant it

Hi! This is my humble contribution to @nolypats and @hockeyboysiguess campaign for Nathan MacKinnon for Hockey Boy of the Month. Please see their blogs for more info, also just because they’re amazing writers. This is my first time trying a 4+1, I thought it would be nice to put something out before the next chapter of Flatbush & Atlantic. It was genuinely so much fun writing this, so please let me know what you think!

Wine pairing: Rotari rosé. @hockeyboysiguess and I have started to pair all of our writings with their own wine, bearing in mind that neither of us knows anything about wine. It’s all about the VIBES. 

4 times Nathan proposed and 1 time he meant it

The first time (February)

Jordan knocked on the door, a glass dish balanced precariously on her hip. She and Nathan tried to have a standing date night every week, something that wasn’t grabbing lunch when they were both free or meeting for coffee before she had to head to work and he went to practice. That was, unless there was a game. Or a roadie. Or a team event. So needless to say, the two had been a little strapped for “couple time” recently, and they were both feeling it. She had an article due the next day, a co-write about the use of illegal dark money in a recently-elected congressman’s campaign. Nathan had a long practice that morning and wasn’t feeling too up to anything that would require him to move too far from his couch. 

He opened the door, giving her a quick kiss. “I pulled up a few movies I thought you might be into, but didn’t want to pick anything until you got here.”

“You’re so considerate, I think I’m going to swoon,” Jordan said.

Nathan shrugged. “I’ll catch you if you fall.” Deep down, he really was a romantic, though the boys would chirp him endlessly if they knew. 

Jordan padded into the kitchen, setting the dish onto the counter and opening up the cabinet right above the toaster oven, grabbing two plates. Even apart from date night, it wasn’t uncommon for them to eat in; partly due to the fact that there were few things in this world Nathan loved more than being able to fly under the radar, something that was a little bit difficult to do when you wore the A for the Colorado Avalanche, but partly because in his own way, it was letting Jordan into his life. “What movies were you looking at?”

“Depends what you’re feeling,” Nathan replied. “We’ve got...Star Wars, Captain Marvel, and 10 Things I Hate About You.”

Her ears perked up. “The one with Heath Ledger?”

“That’s the one. Sound good to you?” 

Jordan had always had a penchant for movies of the late-90s and early 2000s, especially if they were romcoms, and especially if said romcoms starred Julia Stiles. As a little girl, there was definitely more than once where she had herself entirely convinced that her life would turn out exactly like The Prince and Me. Minus, of course, the fact that the beginning of Paige and Edvard’s entire relationship was built on lies. Mainly, she was just really into crowns and big poofy dresses as a little girl. “Sounds good to me!” She said brightly. “You want a brownie?”

Nate craned his neck to look at her in the kitchen, looking expectantly at him with one hand holding a spatula. “You made brownies?”

Jordan giggled. “I did. I take it that’s a yes?”

“That’s a definitely, please, my God give me one right this second or I might combust.” She slid the plate onto the side table a minute later, grabbing two napkins. “Are these normal brownies?” Nathan asked, picking one up and inspecting it with a semi-confused look on his face. 

“They’re triple-layer, it’s an old recipe for slutty brownies from when I was in college. Bottom’s cookie dough, then Oreos, then fudge brownie on top of that.”

Nate raised an eyebrow. “Slutty brownies?”

Jordan swatted at his shoulder. “I know it’s a weird name, just give them a chance. I know you’ve been feeling a little down with the losing streak, and thought you could use a pick-me-up. They were my go-to for breakups, always seemed to help the girls feel better, so I thought it might work for you too.”

He wouldn’t admit it, but Nathan’s heart skipped a beat with Jordan’s words. “Guess I’ll have to see,” he said, taking a bite out the corner. His face melted. “This is...literally the best thing I’ve ever tasted. Seriously, it’s so good. So good. Oh my God, marry me.”

Jordan flushed, turning to take a sip of water so he wouldn’t see. “I’m glad you like them.”

The second time (May)

It was 11:38 on a Friday night, and Jordan and Nathan were at a bar. To be precise, Jordan, Nathan, and pretty much the whole team were at a bar, plus what seemed like the entire population of Denver. Springtime meant playoff season for the NHL, and winning a series meant going out. Jordan normally had to pass whenever the team decided to hit up a bar or club after a win; as much as she would have liked to go, she was a journalist who kept a 9-5 job, which meant that she had to at least get some modicum of sleep if she was going to be able to function in the newsroom without an injection of caffeine straight into her veins. But it was the weekend, and she’d be damned if she was going to miss out on this. 

For the most part, the fans weren’t making a fuss; there was the occasional picture taken or pat on the back for winning the conference semifinals for the first time in twenty years, but nothing out of hand. Sipping her Dark & Stormy, she looked fondly over at Nate, who was having what looked to be a very animated conversation with Burky. Already two and a half drinks in, Nathan was starting to act a little tipsy; while he was normally more reserved about public displays of affection, he kissed Jordan more than one as the night went on. Not like she was complaining. Picking up a refill from the bar, she scooted back into the booth next to Nate. He planted a messy kiss on her cheek. “Where’d you go, Jo?”

Jordan rolled her eyes. “Unlike some of us, I can’t just snap my fingers and have alcohol appear at will. I had to actually go to the bar for another drink,” she teased. 

Nathan threw his head back laughing. “‘S’pose you’ve got a point there, babe.” He slung one arm over her shoulders. Jordan unconsciously leaned into his touch. “What’d you think of the game?” She wasn’t able to make it to every game, but was lucky that she could get down to the Pepsi Center more often than not. The Avalanche had beaten the Flames in 6, after dropping the first two games in Calgary and being pegged as another likely sweep, they had come back to win the next four and the series. 

“Just trying to stroke your own ego, eh, MacKinnon?”

“Picking up some Canadian slang, eh, Murphy?”

She tilted her head. “Maybe, maybe not. But the game was amazing. You know that. You did amazing, Nate.” In the 3-1 win, Nathan had scored two points, an assist and an absolute beauty of a power-play goal that just barely squeaked into the top left corner above Rittich’s shoulder. 

“Sure, maybe I do know,” Nathan admitted, “but it’s one thing hearing it from fans and the media and even my teammates. It’s another hearing it from you.” Jordan loved Nathan, but he wasn’t always the best at expressing his feelings out loud. She was the first one to say “I love you, to introduce him to her parents, to take just about any step forward in their relationship. It was something he was getting better at, slowly but surely, and it meant the world to Jordan that he was trying so hard. Maybe it was the liquor, or the atmosphere, or the excitement of the night, but it meant just as much to her to hear it as it probably did for him to say it. 

Half an hour and several drinks later, the last few people left were trickling out. Most had carpooled to the bar, leaving their cars back at the arena to get the next day. Jordan would have ordered Nate an Uber and then just hitched a ride with someone else back towards her apartment west of downtown, but Nate was pretty far gone. And he was a cute drunk, all things considered, but she was on her way to sobering up and felt an obligation to at least get him in bed safe. Their car pulled up, Nathan clumsily ducking in ahead of her as she shut the door behind him, buckling first his seat belt then her own. They walked through his front door fifteen minutes later, Jordan dropping him off in his bedroom to get undressed before grabbing a glass of water and a bottle of Advil. Nathan was in his boxers when she walked in, struggling to pull a t-shirt over his head. Jordan laughed, walking to his side of the bed before gently tugging it, handing him the water and two Advil. “If you take it now, it’ll help with the hangover later.” Kissing his forehead gently, she turned to leave.

“Where are you going, Jo?”

She stopped at the door. “Home?”

“I want you to stay.” 

She sighed gently, smiling at him. “Okay, I’ll spend the night.” 

“No,” Nathan interrupted, grabbing her wrist lightly as she turned to grab one of his old World Cup shirts to sleep in. “Forever. I want you to stay forever.”

The third time (August)

It was the middle of August, and Jordan and Nathan were in Canada. He had invited her earlier in the summer to visit for a few weeks, and as soon as she got the time off approved, she booked her flight. Getting to Springhill wasn’t the easiest — she flew to Toronto, had a layover, flew to Halifax, then got picked up by Nate for the two hour drive to his hometown. He had flown out in June, about a month after the Avs lost to the Kings in the conference finals, so the couple hadn’t seen each other in nearly two months. Jordan wasn’t about to complain about a few more hours. His parents had been so generous letting her stay for two weeks, and hadn’t batted an eye when Nathan had moved her into his old room. “Just don’t wake us up,” his mom had said, causing Nathan’s cheeks to turn scarlet. 

Jordan had met them a few times before; they had flown out for the All-Star game the previous January and had gotten together during the team Moms’ and Dads’ trips. And if she was around when Nathan was FaceTiming them, she always popped in for a few minutes to say hi. But she still hadn’t quite expected the ceaseless hospitality she had been offered over the past week. Maybe Canadians really were just that nice. 

Halfway through Jordan’s trip, they decided to throw a barbeque. And by they, that meant it was Nate’s idea and he roped them all into helping. Jordan had already been introduced to a few of his old friends, they had gone out for drinks to the one bar in town on her second night, but she was excited to meet everyone else. His dad Graham was keeping an eye on the grill, Nathan had filled the cooler with drinks, and Jordan was helping his mom carry out the fruit bowl and salad to the backyard. Nathan ran up to his room to change right as people started trickling in, and came back to a yard full of family and friends. He craned his neck, trying to figure out where Jordan had wandered off too, before his sister pointed to where she sat with a few of his cousins. 

Nathan opened his mouth, about to ask her something, when Jordan quietly brought a finger up to her lips. “She’s sleeping,” she whispered, gesturing to her arms, where a tiny baby was nestled, eyes firmly shut. 

He remembered that his cousin Rachel had had a baby not too long ago, but didn’t realize she’d be old enough to travel yet. “Is this Natalie?” he asked quietly, sitting in the chair next to Jordan. Rachel nodded. For a few moments, Nathan was lost in the scene, lost in how damn perfect Jordan looked with a baby in her arms. They had spoken about those sorts of things — future things — enough to know that marriage and kids were something they both wanted, but this was the first time it had hit him, like really hit him, that that could be them down the line. Over by the fire pit, his mom watched, a soft smile on her face.

Nathan stood in the kitchen with his mom a few hours later, drying off dishes from the party. Handing a plate to him, Kathy shot a curious glance at her son, as if a thought had just popped into her mind that hadn’t been there before. Nate looked back at her, confused. “What is it, mom?

Kathy nodded out the window, where Jordan was laughing at a joke his dad had just made, balancing the last round of dirty plates to bring in on her arm. “When are you going to put a ring on it, Nathan?

Nathan wasn’t particularly prone to blushing, but he had been doing a lot of it lately. “I—uh—” His mom rested a hand on his shoulder with a knowing smile. “Okay, I’ll admit that I’ve been thinking about it.”

Kathy was beaming. “I knew it. When?”

“When am I going to propose?” She nodded. He shrugged. “I don’t know when it’s going to happen, Mom, but it’s going to. I’m going to marry that girl.”

The fourth time (November)

Jordan grimaced, breathing in sharply as she braced her elbows on her desk. Elisa, her friend who worked in the cubicle beside her, looked over, a concerned expression on her face. “You good, hun?” 

Jordan nodded mechanically, opening a drawer and pulling out a bottle of ibuprofen, swallowing three with a gulp of water. “Yeah, I should be fine. I should be starting my period in the next day or two, so I’m pretty sure it’s just cramps.”

“Are they usually this bad though?” Elisa had always been a worrier.

She shook her head. “No, not since I went on birth control a few years ago, but who knows. The ibuprofen will help, and it’s probably normal anyways. I’m sure it’ll go away.”

It didn’t go away. Two hours later, when Elisa was finishing up the last paragraph of her analysis of the Broncos’ new coaching hire, Jordan suddenly shot up from her desk, running at breakneck speed towards the women’s bathroom with a queasy look on her face. Elisa followed, bursting through the door to the unmistakable sharpness of vomit. She knelt down next to Jordan, pulling her hair back with the spare scrunchie she kept on her wrist. “Jordan? Are you okay?”

Jordan shook her head. “I feel awful, El.”

Eliss touched the back of her hand to Jordan’s forehead. “You’re warm. Have the cramps gotten better.”

“Worse,” Jordan admitted, wiping at the beads of sweat that had started to accumulate on her forehead. 

Elisa pulled out her phone from her back pocket. “I’m calling an ambulance. I don’t think this is cramps, Jo.” 

Jordan didn’t have the strength to argue, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to anyways. The ambulance arrived ten minutes later, carting Jordan off to Denver Health Medical Center. “Any chance you could be pregnant?” one EMT asked. 

“I could be, but I shouldn’t. I’m on birth control and my boyfriend always uses protection,” Jordan said weakly. The EMT made a scribble on her paper. She barely registered pulling into the hospital, nurses pulling her into the ER, or a doctor wheeling in an ultrasound machine. She was conscious enough to recite her name, date of birth, and insurance number before being taken into the operating room, and then a mask was placed over her nose and her world went dark.

The first thing Jordan did when she woke up was check the clock in her room. It was 3; from what little she remembered, she had been taken to the hospital sometime a little after noon. “Oh, thank God,” she heard from her left side. She recognized that voice. It was Nathan’s voice. He grabbed her hand — the one that didn’t have an IV drip in it — and kissed it quickly, smoothing back the pieces of her hair that had come out of the hair tie. “Elisa called during practice, and she told me what happened, but she didn’t even know what happened, and then I left and drove over here, but then—”

Jordan laughed softly, feeling a dull pain in her lower abdomen. “It’s fine, Nate, I’m fine. What happened, anyways? I don’t remember anything after I went into surgery, I have no idea what it was even for.”

“You had appendicitis, your appendix was about two seconds away from bursting.”

Jordan let out a low whistle. “Glad that didn’t happen. Hey,” she added as an afterthought, “I thought visiting hours here didn’t start until 4?” Jordan had visited a college friend of hers who had had a baby a few weeks prior, and could have sworn that she wasn’t let in until later. 

Nate smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, they do. I couldn’t even figure out what room you were in at first. They wouldn’t tell me anything, so I told them I was your fiancé.”

“Oh, did you now?”

Nathan rubbed his thumb over her finger. Her ring finger. “I mean, it’s pretty much true. All I’ve got left to do now is ask you.”

“And get the ring,” Jordan added. 

“Nope.”

+1 (January) 

Family skates had quickly grown to be one of Jordan’s favorite parts of the season. She had loved the first one, but had felt just a tiny bit out of place; her and Nathan had only been dating for a little over six months, and it seemed like almost everyone else had known each other for years. But she’d forged some amazing friendships with other WAGs over the past year, trading babysitting duties for pies and meeting to watch the game while the boys were on a road trip, sharing new Spotify playlists and learning how to support each other along the way. The team had become her second family, even though her parents only lived an hour and a half away. 

Jordan had been a competitive figure skater throughout high school and into college, so she was no stranger to the ice. She obviously couldn’t get out nearly as often as she had before, but her skates still fit and she could still land a triple salchow after warming up. She and Nate had been skating around for an hour or so, taking a break after some “friendly competition” where Josty had made the mistake of challenging Jordan to a race around the rink. She beat him by two seconds. 

Jordan unscrewed the top of her water bottle, taking a few grateful sips before putting it back in her bag. “Babe!” Nate called from a few rows away, where some of the younger kids were gathered next to what looked like pastels. “Want to face paint?” 

She smiled, raising her eyes playfully as she popped on her blade guards and walked over towards the bench. “You sure about that one, MacKinnon? I’m not much of an artist.”

He nodded enthusiastically. “It’s okay, I bet you’ll be great!” He was so sweet for believing in her. 

“Alright,” Jordan said, straddling the bench and picking up the box. “What would his highness like for the design? Bear in mind you’re working with a beginner here.”

“Butterfly!” He chirped excitedly. “There’s been a whole bird and insect theme going on here,” he pointed at the kids’ cheeks, covered in bees, ladybugs, and one demonic-looking...crow? Was it a crow? Did they even get crows at this time of year? “and I wouldn’t want to break the trend.”

“We couldn’t have that,” Jordan agreed. Ten minutes later Nathan had a very blue, barely-acceptable-looking butterfly on his right cheek, but he was beaming like the sun as soon as he pulled up his camera to look at it. “I love it, Jo. Thank you,” Nate said, giving her a quick kiss. 

Activities wrapped up not too long after, and Jordan and Nathan walked out of the rink hand-in-hand towards his car. They had moved in together two months earlier, and Jordan had been more than happy to move out of her tiny studio into Nate’s giant apartment, where you could see the Rockies from the rooftop on clear days. Plus, his building allowed dogs. As Nathan drove home, one hand on the steering wheel and the other tangled with hers by the center console, Jordan looked over at him, with the little blue butterfly on his cheek, and she suddenly felt so unbelievably happy. So unbelievably full. It went without saying that she loved Nate. She loved him like she had never loved anyone before, and never would again. 

At the same time, Nate’s heart was beating faster than it ever had in his life. He wasn’t scared, he wasn’t surprised, but he had just realized something. He already knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Jordan. Nathan had realized that months ago. And he hadn’t been lying at the hospital, he had already bought the ring. But Nathan wanted everything to be perfect when he proposed; it couldn’t be rainy outside, because what if she wanted pictures? It couldn’t be too soon after her older brother’s wedding, because then she might think that was the reason why. It couldn’t be in the summer, because then he’d go back to Nova Scotia for the summer and his mom might scalp him for leaving his fiancée in another country. But, Nathan realized as they pulled into the underground lot, there never was going to be a perfect time. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he wanted to be Jordan’s husband. There shouldn’t be anything stopping him. There wasn’t anything stopping him. 

“I’m going to run to the bathroom,” Nate said as Jordan slipped off her shoes. She nodded. Nathan went up the stairs, but past the bathroom. He walked into their bedroom, into his closet, to the shoebox that had his old atom league medals. He grabbed the velvet box, opening it and taking one last look before taking a deep breath and putting it in his pocket. 

“You want to watch SVU reruns?” Jordan asked as he ambled back into the living room. 

His mouth opened and closed like a fish. “Uh—can I say something?”

Jordan looked over. “Yeah, go ahead? We can totally watch something else if you’re not feeling Law & Order, I think I saw Chopped on the Food Network, or Jurassic Park is halfway through…” She trailed off. 

Nathan shoved his hands in his pockets, turning the ring box over and over. He bit his lip. “You know how much you mean to me, right?” Jordan nodded slowly. “When I met you, I wasn’t looking for anything. I had just had my heart broken by someone who I thought would be my forever, but then you came into my life and suddenly...suddenly, it all made sense. I thought I knew love, I thought I knew what it was to be in love, but I didn’t, really. Not until you. You bring me down to earth, Jordan, when I’m too far in my head. I know you’re on my team even when we’re losing, even when it seems like nothing in my life is going right I know you’ll always be there to pick me up when I fall. And I don’t ever want to take that for granted. You challenge me in the best way, you always push me to be a better partner, a better teammate, and a better man. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for you.” Jordan was tearing up, starting to figure out where his whole speech was going and hoping beyond hope that she was right.

“I know I’m not always physically here, but I promise to always be there for you, Jordan. I’ll hold you when you’re crying, I’ll buy your favorite chips when we’re out, I’ll pay the utility bills because I know you’re terrible with remembering dates. It was eight months in when I realized you were the one.” Nathan bent down on one knee. One of Jordan’s hands was over her mouth, the remote having long since been abandoned on the couch. “I can’t wait to see where we go, Jordan. I can’t wait to get a nice house with a big backyard, go down to the animal shelter saying we’re only going to adopt one dog but come back with three. I can’t wait for the day you tell me you’re pregnant, and we get to hold our child for the first time and I get to see you be a mother. I can’t wait for us to start our lives together. I can’t wait for you to be Jordan MacKinnon.” He opened up the ring box. “Will you marry me?”

Jordan fell on her knees, hands on both sides of Nathan’s face. “Yes.”

[unsaidholland]

best years | s. holland

the third fic from the calm series!!! i hope you guys like this one as much as i did :) 

this is lowkey also one of my favourite songs off the album

warnings: mentions of drinking and intoxication

sam knew that you would be at the wedding. paige had warned him in advance that you were going, and that if he wanted them to change anything about their wedding so things wouldn’t be awkward, they would. but sam decided that it would be okay, he decided that he would force himself to be okay seeing you happy. it had been a little over a year since the two of you broke up, but he was still hurt over the multiple relationships that you had during that time. he wasn’t completely sure how he felt about you, but he knew he still loved you. to what extent? he was unsure. 

you knew that sam would probably be at paige and bryce’s wedding, they were the ones who set you two up almost five years ago, and the breakup didn’t stop either of you from being friends with them. it had been more than a year since you both had called it quits so you thought you would be okay seeing him. no one said the two of you had to talk. 

it was during the reception where everything changed. you found out that you and sam were sitting at the same table, but luckily all of your shared friends were there. mid-dinner, they pulled paige to the dance floor for the bouquet toss. all the single women gathered in a group, the ones most excited at the front. you were somewhere off to the side, not really wanting to catch it, but paige was one of your best friends, so you played along just for her. she had her back facing the group of girls, and as she threw it back, you ended up catching it. ‘how ironic’, you thought. the one thing you didn’t want happening, happened. you didn’t believe that you were going to get married next just because you had caught the bouquet, but part of you hoped you would find someone, even if you didn’t want to admit it. 

sam watched you catch the bouquet, how could he not? everyone was staring, but it gave him the chance to get a look at you. he thought that you would’ve brought someone along with you, and was surprised when he saw you participating. you looked the same as you did when you broke up, just a little more tired. he could tell. he spent four years of his life learning how to read you, and he never lost any of his skills. he could tell that as you caught the bouquet, something he knew you never intended to do, you secretly were excited. there was something else about you that he couldn’t pick up on. he watched as you stood there in shock, holding the bouquet of mixed flowers, your pale pink dress hung still around your body. there was something there, something he couldn’t pick up on.

the dinner continued, music playing as everyone conversed at their tables. the wedding reception wasn’t quite large, but it wasn’t a small reception either. everyone seemed to know of each other, but they didn’t necessarily know each other the way that friends did. you and sam sat at the same table, a table that consisted of all of your shared friends. it made sense why you two sat together, despite everyone knowing that this was the first time the two of you had even seen each other in more than a year. 

“wait, y/n, what happened to nick?” alex asked. he was one of your first friends out of the whole group, then introducing you to bryce, and the rest of the friend group. things got awkward after you and sam broke up, but alex still tried to keep everything the same. he watched as you put your wine glass down, then tapping your fingers against the stem of the glass. 

“we ended it a few weeks ago, it wasn’t working out,” you said. you didn’t want to talk about an ex while sam was right there. yes, life went on and you were allowed to have other relationships after him, but it was out of respect. it didn’t seem right to talk about your most recent relationship right in front of your last long-term boyfriend. “anyways, enough about him, what about your boyfriend alex?” alex blushed, and continued to talk about his boyfriend, ollie. everyone at the table smiled seeing alex go on and on about ollie. you all thought that they would get married, but you all also thought that you and sam would get married. maybe not all of your predictions were correct.

you smiled as alex continued to gush, but all you could think about was nick. why did you end things with him? things weren’t working out was what you had said, but there had to be more to it. your eyebrows furrowed a little, something sam had caught out of the corner of his eye. even though it had been more than a year since he’d seen you, he couldn’t help but note every little detail about your body language. he couldn’t help but realized he was still madly in love with you, and seeing you only made it worse.

dinner finished shortly after, and everyone proceeded to dance. you were at the bar, getting another glass of wine, while sam was in front of you getting a beer. you had spent all night avoiding each other, but as the two of you were alone at the bar together, you couldn’t help but strike up a conversation.

“sam, hey,” you said as he was about to walk away after getting his bottle of stella artois. “i just wanted to make sure we’re okay. i know our break up sucked for both of us and i wanted to say sorry.” it was the very least you wanted to do. you wanted to make up with him, you wanted to be on good terms with him. he was your best friend before you two started dating, and losing him hurt more than any breakup you’ve ever been through.

“uh, yeah. honestly, we’re good,” sam said. he smiled and nodded, then worked his way back into the crowd of people, leaving you alone. you knew it was going to be awkward, you knew it was next to impossible to get him back as your best friend. but what you didn’t know was that as he walked away, everything started to make sense. why you couldn’t stay in relationships for too long, why none of the guys you dated ever made you feel the way you wanted to feel - you wasted so much time looking for sam in all of those guys. 

paige noticed you standing at the bar alone, and she could tell your emotions and thoughts were washing over you like a tsunami. she walked over to you, saying nothing as she engulfed you into a hug. you melted in her arms, feeling understood by her despite not saying anything. she somehow just knew that something was happening with you and sam, but she couldn’t place her finger on what. 

“tell me everything.” was all paige said, and it was all she needed to say for you to voice all your thoughts. everything from your first relationship after sam, to how you never felt like you fully clicked with the guys you dated. you talked about how even though you never realized it, you looked for sam in all of those guys. you tried to fill his shoes but were never able to. you would never be able to replace sam, and seeing him walk away from you the way he did less than half an hour ago was enough to make you realize this. 

“oh honey,” paige said, then ordering more drinks for the two of you. “he hasn’t been doing too well either.” you looked up at her in surprise, and she just gave you a sympathetic look. “he’s been trying to get over you, but sam just can’t.” you furrowed your eyebrows at your bride friend standing right in front of you. her words confused you. he seemed happy, he seemed like he was doing alright, but you remembered that looks can be deceiving.

“pai, what should i do?” you downed the rest of the wine that was sitting in your glass. the slightly tart liquid flowing down your throat, the alcohol that was there prior helping you relax. 

“i think you know what you should do,” was all paige said in response. with that, she left you alone with the bartender. you ordered another drink, needing more liquid courage. you had to go talk to sam. what you were going to say was still unknown to you, but you sat there until you figured it out.

when sam walked away, he walked over to bryce and alex. they immediately knew what he was thinking. the two boys had watched him briefly talk to you and walk away. they had watched as he had an internal battle with himself and his thoughts, wanting to talk to you but also feeling that you didn’t need him anymore. but unbeknownst to him, you needed him more than you needed air in your lungs, or blood flowing through your veins. you needed him like the ocean needs the pull from the moon to create waves. he was your other half, and if soulmates were real, you were certain that he was yours.

“you know you have to talk to her, right?” alex said. alex may not have known that you secretly were still hung up over sam, but you didn’t realize it until that night either, but he knew that there was still something there. 

“mate she’s had so many other boyfriends after we broke up, she doesn’t care about me.” sam sighed as he voiced his thoughts. sam genuinely believed that he was easy to replace. he ran a hand through his hair, pushing the few pieces that fell around his eyes towards the back of his head. 

“don’t close any doors before you’re fully sure.” bryce said. the other two boys standing in that group smiled at him.

“so you’ve only been married for an hour and a half and suddenly you’re really wise. okay bryce,” alex said, causing everyone to laugh. 

paige walked over to stand beside bryce, him instinctively putting his arm around her waist. they shared a look, one that the other two were unable to read. they had been speaking through their expressions, speaking a language that only the two of them were able to understand. bryce smiled, and excused the two of them, asking alex to join them, which he did. sam and alex knew something was up, but they didn’t know what. as sam was left alone, you looked over at him standing there. 

“it’s now or never,” you said quietly to yourself. you got up and walked over to him. “can we talk? please?” was all you said. not knowing what to do, sam just nodded and followed as you lead him to a quiet part of the venue. a little seating area outside, away from everyone in the reception hall. the two of you sat together, on either sides of the bench. an awkward silence fell over the two of you. suddenly you were frozen, not really remembering what you wanted to say.

“i won’t lie, i am a little bit drunk right now. but i just wanted to say i’m sorry for everything that happened with us. you were my best friend and our breakup hurt more than anything i’ve ever experienced.” you avoided making any eye contact with him, looking down at your hands while you were talking. it made it hard for sam to read you, but with every bone in his body, he knew you were being sincere. 

“it’s okay i guess. people just grow apart, it’s just life,” he said. he internally kicked himself for saying that. he wasn’t okay, he missed you more than he misses harry when he’s away.

“no, it’s not okay. i spent the past year wasting so much time on people that reminded me of you, and i only realized that now. our breakup was the worst thing that happened to me. i subconsciously tried to replace you, but i was never happy sam. i needed you, and i still need you.” you looked up at him for the first time in more than a year. you studied his face. you looked at his freckles, some were fading since he hasn’t been in the sun for a while, but they were still all mostly there. you looked up at his hair, still cut the way you liked it. his hair fell over his forehead, split in the middle, some of the curls falling just over his eyebrow. you then briefly looked at his lips, looking away to study the rest of his features. his chocolate brown eyes were the last thing you went over, looking at how they reflected the moonlight. you could tell that he was still processing what you said, so you two sat in silence.

sam felt like the world was spinning around him just from your words. yes, he knew you were drunk, but drunk words were sober thoughts, right? it wasn’t as if your words could be that far from the truth, you were best friends before you started dating, and despite him being your boyfriend, he was also your closest friend at the time. the breakup ended an almost four year long friendship, and losing a friend as close as you two were hurt more than any other relationship.

“do you really mean that?” sam mustered out after what, to you, felt like hours. you nodded.

“i meant everything i said.” your confirmation was enough for sam to let down whatever guard he had put up. he had made eye contact with you, keeping it. he always knew your eyes were beautiful, but actually studying them in the moonlight for the first time in less than two years made him remember how in love with you he was and still is. “sam, i know you may not feel the same way, but i still am in love with you. i hate that it took me this long to realize it, but our breakup was a mistake.” 

sam’s heart stopped. he had been waiting for you to say those words. those words changed everything. 

“i still love you too y/n.” your face lit up, a sight that sam had missed seeing. his words brought you immense hope, hope that you could get back together. sam watched as you suddenly tried to put everything together. he knew you were wondering why he still loved you if he watched you go on and date other people. “i know you’re thinking i shouldn’t still love you, but i really do.” it was as if he could read your mind.

he gently grabbed your hand, intertwining your fingers together, in an attempt to help you relax. his touch felt like sparks had spread across your skin. the feeling of finally holding his hand satiated a fire inside of you, one that you had tried to put out with other people but was never able to.

“what you did when we were broken up doesn’t concern me, you’re allowed to live your life y/n/n. i just care about you still loving me.” sam’s voice was soft. although you could still hear the music playing from the reception hall, all you heard and focused on was sam.

“i’m sorry it took me dating other people for me to realize that you’re all i want.” he pulled you closer to him, your thighs and knees touching. he cupped your cheek with his hand, making you look up at him and only him. sam gave you a small smile, a smile that said, ‘it’s okay,’ a smile that reminded you that everything was going to be okay. your eyes flickered between his eyes and his lips, wanting nothing more than to feel them on yours once again.

“kiss me,” you breathed out. he leaned down to kiss you. his lips met yours softly as if he was scared that the relationship would crumble more with how delicate it already was. you wanted nothing more than to pick up the broken pieces and build something else with them, you wanted to fix everything.

you pulled away first, a smile forming on your face. you moved your hands up to play with the curls at the nape of his neck as he brushed some of your hair out of your face and behind your ear. he pulled you closer, finally wrapping his arm around you, and you melted into his touch, laying your forehead on his shoulder. you closed your eyes, finally feeling at peace. it was that moment, sitting alone with sam, when you realized the best years of your life were always spent with him. the bouquet turned out to be right, he was going to give you the best years.

-

anything and everything taglist: @hollanderfangirl @hxrryhxlland @ohmy-moonlightx @musicalkeys @notsosmexy @writertoo18 @icyhollands

[pinkbutterfly84]

Scorpion Season 4 Overview

Married Quintis = stable

From the very start of Season 4 Quintis seemed to have this calmness to thier relationship they were in sync with each other. They had overcome the past in many ways, settled into being in a relationship and had many of the elements which shows thier relationship will last - trust, love, passion, understanding.

They had thier ups and downs but unlike previously dealt with them together for me the fertility storyline is so important and one of the reasons I love Scorpion as they address serious issues but inject some humour along the way. Male Infertility is barley touched upon on TV and Eddie portrayed the emotions and guilt perfectly.

I didn't particularly like how Toby behaved with Amy when she had her identity stolen i understand he acted out of guilt from his previous dealings with her but his promise to Happy should of been his priority.

Toby gets a lot of stick from the team and also fans of the show for his actions and lower IQ. He regularly saves the day or is instrumental in the teams actions yet is only perceived as the clown. Also with Waige my belief is he acted out of friendship to Walter and Paige and ultimately they are adults who acted on thier own and made thier own decisions I dont think Toby or Happy were to blame for the White lie problems with Waige.

This brings me to the season ending.......

Lots if theories as to what has happened and why, I pray everyday for a renewal so we get to find out, but for what it's worth I don't think it was an act for Collins not that I don't think something is going on with him but with regards to Waige and the team break up I think its not an act.

Waige have had issues from the off, Walter has constantly been told from season 1 he cannot have a real relationship, Collins puts seeds of doubt in both thier minds about them being too different. They have many occasions where the differences are highlighted like game night, seeing Paiges friend play. Then there is Flo - is she a rat for Collins maybe?? but I do think there is an attraction there from both sides and I think the chemistry missing with Paige he has with Flo.

I try to see the signs many of the Cyclone say are there but I don't always see what others do so these are just my thoughts based on my interpretations.

In summary a great season for Quintis with some of my favourite scenes especially the end of episode 3 when they are watching the rescued deer. Season 4 didn't have the best Scorpion 'Jobs' like the previous seasons but the acting especially between Cabe and Toby in therapy, Quintis baby conversations and the last episode were amazing.

What would I like in Season 5

QUINTIS ADOPTION OR BABY!!

The team back together - think something big or life threatening would be needed and it would need several episodes for things to return to normal

Collins storyline to be resolved - he needs catching somehow

Meet Toby's family - we have met family from the whole team accept Toby this could be a cracking storyline

Waige - I don't know if the lack of chemistry is Paige and Walter or Kat and Elyes? Paige changed too much over the last 2 seasons if she got back some of what made her so great in season 1 and part of 2 I think Waige could work especially as I think Walter and Ralph make a great team

Sly to find love maybe with the help if Megan

Cabe and Ali to get married

There are so many storylines and ideas the writers could come up with which could continue over several seasons. Scorpion has so much potential especially in the current climate where we all need escapism and laughter.

Until then back to season 1 to watch all over again.......

[ms-rampage]

Eden’s Gate: Left Behind Chapter 19 - Jackson

Warnings: Angst

Word count: 2.2k

Summary: In the series finale Kate and Morgan leave Hope County, Montana and move back to Jackson, Wyoming. John and Kate say their final goodbyes. 

Guest OCs: Joel Winchester [mentioned]

Guest characters: Castiel (Supernatural), Gabriel [mentioned], Lilith [mentioned]. 

Note+UPDATE: The Mother will continue to be posted, then Aftermath, then the New Dawn series will finish off the entire series. Thank you to those who shared, and read my Lucifer forsaken writings!!. 

************************************

Ever since Kate told John about her leaving Hope County, he spent every second of every day with her.

Wanting to be by her side all day, everyday. When that day came, November 2nd. It was tough for him, the love of his life leaving him.

Kate constantly reassured him. Telling him that she’ll come back, and they can talk on the phone all day, every day. Video calling, all of it. 

Her and Paige finally settled their differences, after uncle Brent gave Paige an hour long lecture on the phone, talking about family and shit. They were to leave that afternoon. John never, not once left Kate’s side.

He spent the night at her house, sleeping in the same bed as her. Cuddling with her the whole night, never letting her go. Had a little sex here, and there. He even let her do all the work, let her go on top, and ride him.

“I love you” he says in her ear, playing with her hair.

She chuckles softly, “I love you too”. 

Kate and Morgan were gonna leave around 1pm, the 7 hour drive that will be ahead of them from Hope County to Jackson.

“I can’t believe you’re leaving” John tells her.

She sighs, “Yeah me too. It’s gonna be hard, leaving all of my friends and you behind”. She signs again, resting her head on his chest, “It’s gonna be a tough one, but I’ve dealt with worse. I think I can manage”.

John chuckles, “What about me? I’m gonna need you. I need you here. How are we gonna keep us alive?!”.

She lifts her head up, and looks up at him, “I may have a few ideas”. 

Kisses him on the lips before getting up off the bed, and over to her shelf. She grabs a bluetooth earbud.

“What is that?!” he asks, sitting up.

“A bluetooth earpiece. You hook it up to your phone, and we can talk on the phone for hours. Well it works up to 12 hours. We can talk on the phone without even holding them” she explains to him. 

The whole day passed by so slow yet so fast. Going from Montana to Wyoming, then Wyoming to Pennsylvania. Who knows how long this demon shit is gonna be. Demon deals can only last for so long, 10 years usually. 

Kate knew this would be a long trip. A long and painful one.  That afternoon before they left, she had an angst worthy conversation with John. well actually she had two. One with John, and another with a feathery boy.  He left that morning to work on some Cult stuff, and he returned that afternoon before Kate and Morgan left. 

They both had a heart to heart conversation. Kate and Morgan were packing up the trailer, and the car with their stuff. They planned on leaving some furniture behind, donating it or leaving for the trash collector to pick it up.

“Katie?!” John singfully calls out for her as she packs up the trailer.

“Hey!” she replies, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.

They smile at each other, they step away from the vehicle. Away from where Morgan can hear them. John looks down at her, his eyes glossy. She knows he’s gonna cry, and he knows it as well. 

He clears his throat and says with his voice cracking, “You know I love you, and I would do anything for you. You changed me. I never loved anyone like how I do with you. I never cared for anyone the way I do, other than my brothers. I never thought I would be able to have these feelings for someone. You changed me, you made me feel”.

Tears start to form in his eyes, his breathing goes shaky. 

“I don’t want to lose you” he continues, “I don’t want anyone else to have you”.

Kate shakes her head, “You won’t lose me” she says softly.

“I know I won’t, I’m just scared you’ll find someone else” he tells her.

Tears streaming down both of their faces, “You don’t have to leave” he pleads with her.

“I’m sorry” she mutters, “But I have to”.

He nods his head, “I know”. 

They stand in silence for a few moments, time seemingly seemed to freeze in place. 

Kate looks around, and sees that time is going at its normal Earth pace. 

“I love you” he tells her.

“I love you too” she responds back. 

They pull each other in for an embrace, Kate rests her head against John’s shoulder. 

A few hours later, Kate and Morgan packed up the car, and trailer. All set to go back to Wyoming. Resting on the floor inside the somewhat empty house. 

“So are you gonna do anything else before we leave?” Morgan asks Kate.

“Yeah, Yeah I have a few things I have to do before we leave” she tells her.

She gets up off the floor and goes outside to the backyard. Going behind the fence, Haley follows her outside. Kate sits down underneath a tree. She takes a deep breath, slowly petting Haley.

She closes her eyes, and prays to Castiel.

“Hey Cas” she starts, “It’s me Kate Winchester. If you can show yourself that will be great”. 

A few moments of silence followed by a whooshing sound, and a slight breeze to her left.

“You prayed?” the Angel in the beige trenchcoat asks in his monotone, hoarse voice. 

“Yeah” she responds standing up, “I never got to properly thank you for bringing me back”.

He looks at her in slight confusion which is normal for him. He never really understood human emotions to begin with.

“Of course” he says.

“I just wanted to say thank you for bringing me back from The Other Side, and letting me see my dad for the first time” she tells him with a smile on her face.

“It’s my job. It wasn’t your time, and I had to bring you back to Earth” he says to her. 

“Yeah I know” she says, staring off into the distance, “What do you know about dreams?”.

Once again he looks at her confused, “Dreams? They’re images, visions and stories that one’s subconscious manifests when in slumber. It can be in many different forms”.

Slightly shaking her head, “No, no I mean. What does it mean when you have the same dream over, and over again. Everytime it happens it never progressives. It always ends the same way, nothing else happens”.

“What is this dream you’re having?!?” he asks, head slightly tilted.

“It’s with Lilith, she threatens me that if I don’t say yes to her. She’ll hurt Paige, and then Gabriel shows up, and banishes her. It’s the same thing over, and over, and over. It never goes any further”.

Castiel narrows his eyes at her, eyebrows furrowed, “I could mean that Lilith is somehow manipulating you into saying yes, and harvesting your soul”.

Kate nods her head, “Yeah I assume, but she won’t get the answer she’s looking for”.

“Now the part with Gabriel, well that means because he’s your guardian angel, and he has to protect you”.

“Yeah I figured that” she responds, nodding. Exhaling. 

Cas sighs, “You know he’s proud of you. He talks about you whenever I go up to Heaven”.

Kate smiles, “Gabriel talks about me?”.

He awkwardly clears his throat, “Well actually. Your father. Joel, he talks about you and Paige a lot. He’s proud of both of you”.

Kate gasps softly, smiling through her tears, “Oh, he um, he talks about us?!?”.

Nodding his head, “Yes”.

She wipes her tears away, her breath shaky. “I’m leaving Hope County”.

He nods his head, “I know. I heard about the deal Flora made, and the 10 years ends soon”.

“And that’s why I’m leaving” she says, “Again thank you for everything”.

“I know, I’m glad I can help. See you soon” he tells her with a smile. 

Before Cas could disappear. She stops him.

“Cas wait!!” she exclaims. He turns to face the young Winchester, “Why didn’t you come to my save when I prayed to you all those months ago?!?”.

He sighs, looking at the ground, “I can’t tell you much, but I will tell you this. I was told by God, Chuck not to get involved because of his plan for you, and your family”.

She stares at him in utter disbelief, “I-I don’t get it!?!”. 

Nodding his head, “I know. I know, I didn’t understand it at first. I still don’t, I just want to leave it at that”. 

With that said Castiel disappears, leaving Kate by herself outside by the trees with Haley sitting at her side. 

She goes back inside the house. “Are you ready to go?” Morgan asks as she walks in.

“Yeah all set” she responds, nodding her head. 

They put the remaining of their stuff in the car, Haley jumps in the back seat, Morgan in the passenger seat and Kate drives. Starting up the car, and Carry on Wayward Son plays on the radio. 

Once I rose above the noise and confusion. Just to get a glimpse beyond the illusion. 

I was soaring ever higher. But I flew too high. 

They drive off down the road as the song plays. 

Driving out of Holland Valley, driving past the fields, and small businesses. Over the bridge, passing the University and the diner. Entering the Henbane River. 

Though my eyes could see, I still was a blind man. Though my mind could think, I still was a mad man. I hear the voices when I’m dreaming. I can hear them say. 

Carry on my wayward son. There’ll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest. Don’t you cry no more. 

The Henbane River, the toxic bliss flowers, drugged up angels and blissed out animals.

“Not gonna miss this place” Morgan mutters to herself as she looks out the car window. 

Joseph’s Word, the eye sore of a statue. Someone should destroy that shit, blow it up. Destroy it into teeny tiny unfixable pieces. 

Masquerading as a man with a reason. My charade is the event of the season, and if I claim to be a wise man, well. It surely means that I don't know. On a stormy sea of moving emotion

Tossed about, I'm like a ship on the ocean, I set a course for winds of fortune, but I hear the voices say. 

Carry on my wayward son. There’ll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest don’t you cry more, no.

Halfway out of the Henbane River, only a few miles away from the Ancient Bison Tunnel, one of the two exits leading out of Hope County. 

Kate stops the car in the middle of the road, putting the car in park. Pausing for a brief moment. 

Lowering the volume on the radio, Morgan looks at her in confusion. 

“What is it?!?” she asks.

Kate sighs, and says “I can’t believe we’re doing this. We’re leaving this inescapable town, only because of John, and I have this feeling that. That once we leave, we won’t be welcomed back”.

Morgan tilts her head in confusion, “What makes you say that?!?”.

“It's just a feeling I have. Like if we were to come back for our friends. It’ll be ugly, bloody and violent. Bad shit will happen, I just- I just feel it, and it won’t be good. Chaos will happen”.

“You’re just feeling guilty about leaving John, and all of our friends here. They know, they understand. They get that family is important to us. We told them we’ll be back, not sure when, but we’ll be back. John will see you again”. 

She reassures her friend, and to continue their exit out of Montana.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re right” she says before taking a deep breath and an exhale, “Let’s go”.

Kate turns the volume on the radio back up, and Kansas finishes playing. 

Now, Turn The Page - Metallica plays. 

She lets out a soft chuckle, putting the car back in drive and they drive up the road towards the tunnel guiding them out of Hope County.

On a long and lonesome highway, east of Omaha

You can listen to the engines moanin', out this one-note song

You'd think about the woman, or the girl you knew the night before

“Here we go” Kate says with a hint of relief in her voice. Morgan looks over at her friend with a smile on her face. 

But your thoughts will soon be wandering

The way they always do, when you're riding 16 hours

There's nothing' much to do, and you don't feel much like riding

We just wish the trip was through

They go through the tunnel, on the other side, they see a sign that says “Next stop Missoula - 5 miles. Jackson, Wyoming 386 miles”.

Kate sighs, “Jackson, here we come” they drive down the long, and lonesome road of Montana. Going back home. 

THE END

[starrybethany]

Clayton Keller: Part 5

Word count: 2081

I roll over in bed, stretching out my leg to release the tension in the muscle. It hits something hard on the other side of the bed and I shoot up in surprise, instantly regretting it as pain ruptures through my head.

Betsy groans, causing the pain to worsen and she turns towards me, innocently blinking her eyes open.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, my voice husky.

“Bro we got so drunk last night,” she lets out a quiet laugh and I can’t help but wince at that.

Every single noise that is occuring is making my head want to explode.

“I was too wasted to go home so you told me to crash here.”

“Okay, but why are you in my bed?”

She shrugs lazily. “You wanted someone to cuddle with.”

Yep, sounds like me.

She rolls over onto her back, splaying across the bed. She shows no hint of caring when her arm hits my body. “And you started whining because Clayton’s not here so I figured hey, I’m the next best thing.”

I watch her carefully as her eyes flicker back closed. I thought she would tease me about wanting Clayton here but I guess she’s too focused on her intense hangover to do that. I won’t complain about it, though.

Everything in my body is yelling at me to stop as I pull myself to a standing position, stumbling my way into the kitchen. I almost begin to cry at the sunlight streaming through the windows but hold it in, quickly grabbing two bottles of water and some Tylenol.

“Hey, babe.” I get Betsy’s attention quietly as I enter my room again, handing her a water bottle and two pills.

“Give me another.”

I give her another pill before taking three myself, drinking half of the water bottle before deciding it’s enough and laying back down on my bed. I’m just about asleep when my phone vibrates on the bedside table, light illuminating the dark room.

“Turn that shit off,” Betsy mumbles tiredly.

I squint my eyes as closed as they can get before grabbing my phone, turning it on ‘Do Not Disturb’ while catching a glance at the sender of the text. Clayton, of course. I groan from both the light and the absurdity of our situation and Betsy throws a pillow at me to get me to shut up.

I set my phone back down and turn to face her, falling into a nice slumber.

~

I feel better when I wake up but I’m still hungover as hell. I don’t know what I drank last night or how much, but I don’t think that I’ll be doing that for a while.

I feel ridiculous wearing sunglasses into the kitchen but when I spot Betsy making food at the stove with her sunglasses on, I don’t feel so bad.

“I don’t even remember what happened last night,” I murmur, leaning against the counter and staring down at it.

“Well, long story short, you couldn’t stop thinking about the Coyotes game you went to and how you met all of Clayton’s teammates and their partners and shit so you called me to get your mind off of the topic and oh, I did,” she smirks.

It would be more effective without the bulky sunglasses covering half of her face.

“Thanks for the booze, you should bring it to Tyler’s birthday party next week.” The words slip out of her mouth easily.

She just reminded me of another thing to be stressed about. Tyler’s birthday is next week and we celebrate hard every year. It takes months of planning in advance and shit, I forgot to plan it.

“You forgot his birthday didn’t you?” Betsy asks once she sees the look on my face.

I nod, pressing my head into my hands.

“Y/N, it was your turn to plan it! And I reminded you a bunch of times too!”

“You don’t think I know that, Betsy?” I snap. She becomes quiet and I sigh. “I’m sorry for yelling at you, it’s just, shit.”

“You can figure it out,” she reassures me. “You know all he really wants is to hang out with his friends, get drunk, and then get laid.”

“Yeah but I didn’t tell anybody and I didn’t buy any alcohol yet, hell I don’t even know how much money I have for alcohol,” I sigh.

“Ask Clayton to pay you early.” She shrugs.

I don’t respond, my mind racing with all that I have to do. I have to plan this birthday party, my midterms are coming up this week, my sister might be coming to visit me, and oh, yeah, I have to do whatever Clayton wants too.

My mind stops spinning when Betsy sets a bowl down in front of me, taking a seat at the counter beside me.

“Stop worrying, you’ll figure it out. You always do.”

“I guess so.”

~

My chest burns from lack of oxygen and I glare at Betsy’s car in the back of the parking lot. Why are there so many people at the grocery store in the middle of the day on a Monday? And why did so many people have to park like assholes?

“Hello?” I answer my phone breathlessly as I quickly grab a cart and walk through the store towards the alcohol section. I wanted to grab some booze for Tyler’s party before I had to rush back to campus for class but I don’t know how well that plan is working out.

“Y/N,” the other person lets out a wail and I pull my phone back in confusion, unsure of who it is.

It’s my college roommate from when I was a freshman. We talk once and a while but she’s still as obsessed with her boyfriend now as she was a couple of years ago, something that I can’t really related to.

“What’s wrong, Paige?” I ask, picking up a pack of beer in my free hand and putting it in my cart. I grab another pack and put that in my cart as I wait for her to collect herself.

“He cheated on me!” I have to pull the phone away from my ear as she screams it.

“Andrew cheated on you?” I question, sending her into another fit of sobs. I mentally curse myself out, grabbing a bottle of wine and a bottle of tequila off of the shelf. I decide to go for another bottle of tequila.

“Yeah, I just found the texts with the other girl and she’s gorgeous and she goes to Harvard and-””Here’s the plan, Paige,” I grab a pack of margarita mix, knowing that Paige would appreciate that much more than any other type of alcohol I would grab. Then I grab some more random bottles for Tyler’s party. “I have class soon so I’ll swing around your apartment and cry with you in about two hours. I’m bringing alcohol and I’ll grab some cookies, too.”

I grab the cookies off of the shelf as I pass it, stopping at a cash register and loading the alcohol onto the belt.

The cashier eyes me as the crying on the other end of the line slows down. “Okay.”

“I’ll see you soon.” I hang up and shove my phone into my back pocket, pulling out my wallet to get my ID out. “How are you today?”

“I’m good,” the cashier gives me a small smile, checking over my ID to make sure I’m over twenty one. “How are you doing?”

My phone rings instantly as her question ends and I pull it out, letting out a sigh. “Busy. Hello?”

“Why didn’t you answer my texts last night?” He asks.

Exhaustion fills my body as I realize this will lead to another fight, something I can’t handle with how little sleep I got last night and the hecticness that’s occured today. “I have things to do, Clayton.”

“But you can’t even take a minute out of your day to respond to my texts? Bullshit,” he spits.

I rub my eyes tiredly, pushing my card into the slot with a tug in my heart, knowing that I’ll wince when I see my account balance after this. “It just slipped my mind, okay?”

“Your job slipped your mind?”

Oh that’s right, this is technically my job. Even though it might not be a job with designated hours or tasks, it’s still something that I’m getting paid for, so I have to throw my heart into it as much as I just want to brush it off.

I never got to brush my part-time jobs off so why would I get to just brush this off? I guess I just assumed that Clayton would be more understanding.

“Okay, sorry.” I hurriedly push the cart into the parking lot, knowing that I’m definitely going to be late to class between loading everything into my car and the traffic. “I’ll come over as soon as class ends- wait, shit, I promised Paige I would go see her-”He scoffs at that and I bite my tongue. “I’ll come over around nine o’clock tonight, okay?”

“Whatever.”

I roll my eyes at his attitude. It’s really the last thing I want to deal with today, and quite frankly, as attractive as the guy is and as nice as he can be at times, he’s bothering me with this whole conversation and seeing him is the last thing that I want to do but I’m obligated to. “If you don’t want me to come over then text me. But otherwise I’ll be over then. I have to go, I have class.”

~

I grumpily ring the doorbell, not happy to see Clayton after our argument on the phone and watching Paige drink away all of her problems while not being able to because I needed to be sober enough to Uber over to Clayton’s house.

“Well look who it is,” Christian opens the door, greeting me with a friendly smile. “Clayton said you would be coming over!”

“Yeah,” I mumble, unsure of how to react to his words. He steps to the side and I enter the house, taking my shoes off and setting them beside the door.

“He’s just in his room, you know where that is, right?” He asks.

I nod, giving him a polite smile before walking down the hall towards the room I’ve been in a couple of times now. I walk in to see Clayton slouched against his headboard, video game controller in his hands and his eyes on the TV.

Really? I came over just to watch him play video games?

He doesn’t say anything and he doesn’t even look at me, but he lifts his arms and motions towards his lap, a sign for me to climb in. I make myself cozy against his body, watching whatever stupid shooter game he’s playing.

Despite the annoyance flooding through my veins, I snuggle closer to Clayton, cherishing the few moments of the day that I get to rest.

“How was your day?” He questions, montone.

“Hectic. You?”

He hums, pressing a button extra hard on the controller. Once he loses all three of his lives I ask, “So do you want to do something now?”

“Yeah, play another round,” he responds, restarting the game.

“So you knew that I have a busy week but begged me to give you attention and now you’re sitting here playing video games.” I sit up in his lap, turning to make eye contact. He avoids my eyes, staring at the TV screen. “Explain that to me.”

“I don’t know what you want from me, babe.”

I blatantly roll my eyes. “I literally just told you what I want from you. An explanation.”

“Is it too much to ask you to just sit here and watch me play video games?” He asks, exasperated. “Ugh, you made me die.”

“You would’ve died anyways,” I mumble, crawling out of his lap and sitting on the bed next to him with my arms crossed.

“If you’re going to pout then you can just leave.”

My head snaps towards him and I notice that now he’s staring back at me with a blank expression, giving me his full attention.

“What?”

He repeats his sentence and I scoff, sliding my feet onto the floor. I leave without another word, not pleased with the way I leave things but not happy with the way he’s treating me either.

[gibberishquestion]

hi I hope I’m not bothering you but!! I’ve been listening to chess (the original recording w murray head and elaine paige) and I really like it!! I’ve listened to the whole thing a few times but I can’t quite get a grasp on the plot, and google isn’t helping haha. can you please give a summary, maybe song by song or something? only if you want to tho!! feel free to ignore this no worries! I just thought I’d ask you cause you’re the chess mutual TM :]

THIS TURNED OUT SUPER SUPER LONG IM SOOO SORRY

YES YES YES IM THE CHESS MUTUAL >:D asking me about chess makes me POWERFUL!! you’re not bothering me at ALL. the plot varies from production to production, thank you for specifying which one you’re listening to! i’ll give a song by song summary as best i can but know that i have the reading comprehension of a slice of cheese

i’ll be referring to the main characters as “the russian” and “the american” bc thats what the original album does ^_^

merano — opening number, not super plot relevant. the citizens of merano, italy are all happy that their town is the setting of the chess championship. in the middle of the song the american chess champion shows up and sings about what a good chess player he is.

the russian and molokov — introduces, well, the russian challenger, and his second, molokov. this is just a little conversation between them about the american. it makes more sense if you listen to “press conference”, which is a bonus track on the original album, where the american throws a fit and assaults a reporter. but basically molokov is like “see? this dude is fucked” and the russian is like Doubt, and it turns into a conversation about the championship as a whole: molokov views it as a way for the soviet union to assert its dominance over the usa, and the russian is like dude i’m a chess player not a politician

where i want to be — the russian’s first solo number. he reflects on his life in general and how he’s technically gotten everything he ever wanted, but it’s all empty victories. he’s fully aware of his status as a pawn to the ussr.

opening ceremony — a lot happens in this one, and it’s split up into separate tracks in most albums. “the arbiter” introduces the arbiter who’ll be presiding over the matches and ruling the chessboard with an iron fist. “difficult and dangerous times” is a song that i think perfectly encapsulates the spirit of the whole musical: it’s just a game, sure, but neither country wants to be the one that couldn’t even win a game. “the merchandisers” doesn’t move the plot at all but it serves as a little jab at capitalism i guess? basically its just a bunch of people trying to make money off the game. “hymn to chess” is just a little hymn to chess, i guess. sort of like how they always sing the national anthem before a sporting match?

quartet (a model of decorum and tranquility) — between the last song and this one, the first match started, but it never finished, because the american flipped the board and stormed out. this song shows the russian, molokov, the arbiter, and the american’s second florence bickering about what the hell just happened. also the russian calls the american a fruit which isn’t super important but like

the american and florence — florence confronts the american about his behavior. in an incredibly dickish move if i may say, the american turns the conversation to florence’s dead father: “well the ussr killed your dad, didnt they? and i’m against the ussr in this chess match. so by opposing me youre really betraying your dead dad.”

nobody’s side — florence’s first solo number. she reflects on her relationship with the american (which is strictly professional in some productions and explicitly romantic in others; it varies) and how she can’t justify the way he treats her. she comes to the conclusion that she can’t trust him or really anyone; she’s looking out for florence first and foremost.

chess — instrumental :) this tune comes up whenever a chess game is played. over the span of this instrumental break the russian gains a lead of five games to one, which is bad news for the american because the first man to six wins claims the championship.

mountain duet — florence arranges a meeting between herself and both the players, but the american is running late. alone with just the russian, the two of them realize and accept that they have feelings for each other. in a scene that doesn’t appear in this album, the american finally shows up and is naturally very pissed

florence quits — exactly what it says on the tin; florence quits working for the american. the american is obviously mad about this, and is sexist at her for two minutes and 56 seconds

embassy lament — the american has resigned, making the russian world champion. he immediately defects from the ussr to england, with florence. this song is just the consul officers at the embassy being difficult little shits

anthem — the russian explains how “his land’s only borders lie around his heart” and even as he leaves the soviet union he’s still very proudly russian. this ends the first act.

bangkok / one night in bangkok — one year has passed. the next championship is to be held in bangkok, thailand. the american may not be in the game anymore, but he’s employed by global television to report on the championship. this song isn’t super plot relevant but lord if it isn’t catchy.. basically he just shows up in bangkok and rejects all the exciting nightlife in favor of chess. (some productions play the lyrics as sarcasm, with the american enthusiastically having sex with random people and doing coke n shit while claiming his every move’s among the purest)

heaven help my heart — florence reflects on her relationship wifh the russian. she’s afraid of what’s going to happen once the infatuation ends and she’s not something new and exciting for him to play with.

argument — oh, did i mention the russian left a wife in the ussr? cause he left a wife in the ussr. molokov is bringing her out to bangkok. florence is very distressed about all this and the russian is like “the soviet union has played me like a fiddle all my life this is obviously just a trick to mess with me. no biggie. stop worrying. shut up”

i know him so well — a duet between florence and the russian’s wife. the two of them sing about both of their failed relationships with the russian, and how now they know him well enough to know both their relationships were doomed from the start.

the deal (no deal) — molokov wants the russian to throw the match to prove a point about the challenger, a loyal soviet, being a better player than the defecting traitor. so he dangles florence’s father in front of him and says he was alive the whole time in prison, lose the game and i’ll let him out! but he doesn’t say this to him directly, he has the american deliver the message to both the russian and to florence. (in later productions molokov’s character is split into both him and an american, walter de courcey, who’s the one to push the american into this. i think it makes more sense that way, personally.)

pity the child — the american looks at his childhood, and how much of his assholery is due to mommy issues. he finally gets some depth to his character after being a hate sink for an act and a half

endgame — it’s the final match between the russian and the soviet challenger. it’s unclear how much of this song is actually happening and how much of it just represents what’s going on in the russian’s head. but ultimately, he decides that he’s not going to be a pawn to the ussr anymore, so he’s going to win the game. screw florence, screw his wife, he’s doing what he wants.

epilogue: you and i / the story of chess — the russian and florence look back on their relationship. did florence get reunited with her father or was molokov lying, you ask? the concept album leaves it ambiguous. oh yeah and then it ends with an ahistorical tale about the invention of chess

[phoebehalliwell]

I love your mini essays! They’re like mini fanfics! That one with Phoebe’s baby and her relationship with coop had me in the edge of my seat! (Would love to read a fanfic for it it you ever write one!!!) On that note, what do you think would have happened if headcanoned baby PJ is she existed in the dark future? (●´ω｀●)

thank you so much 💕💞💕💞 !! (and if i ever to chose to transcribe it into actual fic form i will be sure to post about it here so u can find it 🥰) as far as darkfuture!pj:

okay so what i’ve written so far in regards to the dark future has phoebe binding her powers and turning her back on witchcraft as a whole. she and coop never officially get married but they do stay in a long term committed relationship. phoebe was in new york, then moved back to sf, then moved back again to new york when pj was barely 1. phoebe binds her daughters powers as they are born and never teaches them any magic. she also raises them with no knowledge that they have any cousins or extended family, and tries to sever herself from the magical community as a whole to better protect her kids. that being said, phoebe does raise her daughters telling them bedtime stories of witches and cupids and magic, just in case the time ever comes where her daughters ever need to defend themselves. coop also gets all three girls their own cupid rings (he plans to give them to each of his daughters on their tenth birthday, but pj is the only one to make it to age ten before phoebe dies)

phoebe is the first of the charmed ones to be picked off, killed by wyatt in the middle of a normal wednesday afternoon. as she hasn’t been in contact with any of her family, wyatt doesn’t really know about her daughters. her final act is to set fire to the apartment she was living in, in hopes to burn the evidence of pj, parker, and peyton). wyatt also doesn’t know about coop, allowing him to travel back and grab the makeshift book of shadows phoebe scribbled in old notebook (he tries saving phoebe, but after attempt no. 5, wyatt can begin to sense a magical interference in the timeline, and coop accepts that if he tries again, he risks exposing himself and his daughters). coop pulls his daughters out of school, gives pj the book and parker and peyton their rings, and tells them that some very bad people will be after them, and that they’re going to have to watch out for one another. he tells his daughters to remember the stories they were told growing up, and, when the time comes, to read the first spell in the book. his final act is the hail a taxi and sent them to an address where he says they can get help. coop gets as far away as he can from wyatt’s attack before beaming to the mitchell house to warn paige.

now, pj is 11, parker is 9, and little baby peyton is 7, so this is uhh como se dice A Very Bad Time to be shoved out on our own in the world, but PJ, as the oldest and also the only one to have graduated elementary school, is ready to step up to the plate and protect what’s left of her family. when they arrive at whatever address their dad gave the taxi guy, pj quickly ushers her sisters out of the car and goes and knocks on the door with integrity, introducing herself as “prudence johanna halliwell” with her back straight and eyes level, ready to present herself as the leader of her family. well at the name “halliwell” the girls are quickly ushered inside as darryl and sheila have a very intense, hushed conversation in the kitchen. after confirming phoebe’s death, darryl decides that the safest place for the girls is with sheila’s mother in vermont, banking on the multiple degrees of separation to keep both his family and phoebe’s daughters safe. there, each sister goes by her middle name and abandons the halliwell last name. after all, johanna, rose, and marie morris of middletown, vermont are a lot harder to tie to the charmed ones that three halliwells sporting “p” names.

and that’s how they grow up. johanna keeps alive the stories she was told growing up and, if she’s brave enough, will sneak down to basement and move aside a could bricks to reveal a hole in the wall where the makeshift book of shadows is kept and flip through the pages. one day, when she’s thirteen and the city of san francisco has already fallen to wyatt’s magical regime, she notices someone staring just a little bit too long at the cupid ring on her finger. it could be just the unique nature of the ring, it could be someone who knows what a cupid is. either way, johanna takes her and her sisters rings and hides them with the book. she also stops telling the stories her parents used to tell her, because she fears the more her sisters know the more likely they are to draw attention to themselves. sheila’s mother doesn’t quite know the stories of the girls she’s been raising, but she can tell there might be something... off about them. as more cities fall and magic becomes not only known to mortals but hated to them, johanna gets increasingly paranoid about the world around her. rose tries to remain cool and insists that so long as they keep their head down there is no way the world will ever find out they’re witches (the girls themselves don’t even know they’re descendants of the charmed ones, they didn’t even know phoebe had sisters). little marie is only ten, so the older sister swear to pretend as if they aren’t magical at all, hoping that marie will forget as a whole. 

when johanna is fourteen the first WitchHunter™ is unveiled, a flying robot thing that can scan a face and say whether or not the being is magical. johanna doesn’t know if it would recognize her and her sisters or not. at first they are only used in major cities, but regardless, the girls refuse to set foot in any corporate store in case the security cameras feed back to a larger WitchHunter database. johanna dyes her hair black, rose shaves her head. marie doesn’t know why her sisters are altering their appearance, but follows suit. she dyes her hair a dark brown and cuts long, fringy bangs. all three girls adopt bandannas in their hair as a new look, always tied loose enough that they could be pulled down over the face at a moments notice. that works for the next two years.

in late 2023 a rebellion that has been forming launches an attack on wyatt, doing significant damage, but in the end, losing. after this wyatt really goes on a kick reminding the world of the power he comes from, the undeniable magic of the twice blessed, son of the charmed ones. there are propaganda videos and everything and whoo what a helluva way to learn your mother was a charmed one. the girls have to reevaluate everything. 

rose is the one who wants to go and fight, arguing that they have the power to make a difference. marie, who, by the way, is only 12, argues that they have no training, they weren’t raised witches, and they would be entering a war fought by experts. johanna wants to side with rose and wants to help protect people, but at the same time, she has to wonder why her mother ran away, why she chose to raise them all apart from witchcraft. but then again, they were left a spellbook. they were given cupid rings. johanna remembers her father telling her that when the time comes - when, not if - to read the first spell in the book. they weren’t raised witches, but they were destined to become ones.

in the dead of night, the girls sneak down to the basement and find the hidden book and rings, and run into the woods. once they’re far enough from the town they were basically raised in, they flip open the book. sitting in a circle, hand in hand, cupid rings on, the girls recite the dominus trinus. there’s a new power of three, and prudence, parker, and peyton halliwell are ready to kick some ass with it.

[artemismoon12writes]

Title: The Difference Between Hanging Out and a Date is Flowers

Daltonfic Big Bang; Week 9, Day 3; Julian Larson/? Julian is forced to go to the Valentine’s Day Fair, despite last year’s sparking a whole lot of horror for him. Can’t he just have one good day? 

---

The Valentines Fair was huge this year; so huge they’d teamed up with Dobry Hall and just rented a fairground outside of town. Julian had planned to just stay in his room all day, given what happened last year. Murdoch refused, telling him he couldn’t have any special privileges when everyone else was out helping with the event.

So instead, he was there… and doing nothing to help because fuck his fellow Stuarts. They’d been following him all week, babying him like this was supposed to help him out emotionally or something. He knew he had baggage, but that was his own business. Let him just ignore these dramatic boys and try, in vain, to have a good day.

Between Logan pretending he’d had feelings for him all along, Sebastian reappearing to say ‘le fuck your healing process’, and whatever bullshit Derek hadn’t grown out of; he was planning to just avoid anyone he knew. Maybe he’d find some of the Day students. Wait, no, Riley Paige would get him to help with something. Fuck; maybe he could find one of Royal’s booths and just chill with Merril. It was almost enough to make him give up on boys altogether; shit, girls were so much less dramatic than these assholes he lived with.

He was looking for Merril’s booth (she’d texted him a pile of apple and pear tarts, so surely he could just follow the smell?) when he saw a short girl chasing Dwight Houston and Bancroft’s sister through the tents, yelling something about rocks. They looked frantic, escaping through a hole in a Hanover tent while she slipped on some of the half-frozen grass; still frosty in the February sun. That sucks… he should do something.

“Hey, need help?” He asked, walking up cautiously; she could be a fan after all. “You took quite the dive there.”

“No, I got it.” She sighed, standing up and brushing herself off. Her hands were red, but not skinned despite the fall. “I just suck at walking I guess.”

“I couldn’t help but notice you trying to kill Houston and Bancroft. Anything those two idiots do to annoy you?” Julian asked, genuinely curious. Dwight Houston did a lot of stupid shit; but his first thoughts usually revolved around whatever Derek did to piss off girls, and that didn’t seem like Houston’s style.

She shook her head, “They lost the collection of gems I had on display for our booth for Prima. Now I have nothing to sell, so Royal is going to take the prize for Dobry.”

“And why’d you trust those two with it?” He knew them by reputation alone for getting into trouble; but not much else.

“Because those two happen to be my best friends.” The girl said, sounding like she couldn’t quite believe it herself. She put on a faint smile though, looking up and sticking out her scraped hand. “Sadie Moore, maybe you’ve heard of me.”

“Julian. Shame enough, I haven’t.” He shook her hand. “You’re new aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I transferred up here from Florida for Junior Year; but from the way the girls in Dobry go on, I’ve become some kind of one woman rumour mill.” She shivered. “It’s freaking cold up here. I don’t know how you all deal with it.”

“Don’t ask me. This winter is just as bad to me. I’m from California and everytime it snows here I get whiplash.” Julian smiled as she laughed. It was a nice laugh. “And one-woman rumour mill? What’s with that?”

She rolled her eyes, “Dobry girls see romance everywhere they look; a chunk of them think I’m dating Dwight, the other half won’t shut up about that time I kissed Laura, and the rest of them think I’ve gotten both of them, when like? Fuck you just cause I’m bi doesn’t mean I’m a slut. Jeez, it’s 2012, I just want to enjoy the Valentines Day Fair without all that.”

“You’re bi?” Julian asked, before he could stop himself.

She wrinkled her nose, suspicious. “Yeah. You got a problem with that?”

“No! Just, I don’t meet many people who just say that aloud to people they just met, you know?”

Julian didn’t like being on the back foot with people. Let alone being caught off guard. Sadie kept looking at him until her expression cleared and she judged him not a biphobic asshole- which, wouldn’t that be ironic?

“I guess you’re right. Hey, you want to walk around? I guess I’m off booth duty until someone can find my gems; unless you have your own booth to get to?” She looked over his jacket, “Stuart? I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

Julian laughed, “I was ordered to show up and nothing more than that. And gems? Like? Rubies or something?”

“Semi-precious at most.” She explained, launching into a long diatribe about online ‘healing crystals’ versus her own, far superior, ethically mined quartz.

By the time they rounded Hanover’s Ferris Wheel (the compromise for a less dangerous ride this year), Julian’d caught himself laughing at Sadie’s geology jokes; sharing the time he snuck up to the Hollywood sign; learnt Sadie liked heavy metal; and told the entire story of Clark, Marcie, and him engaging in a spicy noodle challenge back in LA. He hadn’t even realized they’d walked that far; engrossed in conversation.

The air was turning colder, nipping his ears and turning the tip of Sadie’s dark nose red. She coughed, sticking her hands under her arms. “Fuck, this place is shit. How do people live up here?”

“You were here for December right? You saw it snow, and that didn’t scare you away?” He asked.

“Oh no, snow is pretty!” She insisted, “I’ve gone skiing with my parents in Whistler, that’s fun! But this? Where it’s just grey and gross and cold? Uh, it’s so stupid.”

“Well you not wearing gloves, so maybe that’s why?” Julian pointed out.

She rolled her eyes. “Logic. Facts. Maybe I don’t like gloves?”

“You forgot them didn’t you?”

She flushed. “I lent them to Laura actually, she forgot her own back at Prima.”

Julian looked down at her biting the inside of his lip considering. Ah fuck it. He pulled off one of his own gloves and handed it to her. “Here, put your other hand in your pocket. It should be fine.”

Her eyes widened. “You sure?”

“Yeah, whatever.” He looked over at the booths; they were squarely in Hanover territory. Huh. How long had they been walking? He should say hi to Abbot. But he was probably busy running things over here.

“Thanks.” Sadie said, her left hand stretching experimentally with a too-large glove and the right nudging his elbow. “That was pretty nice of you Mr. Larson.”

He snorted. “I was wondering when you’d realize.”

“I don’t watch many dramas. So, it took a bit to realize you were that movie star who goes here.” Sadie said, “Sorry I can’t say I’m a fan of you stuff.”

She looked genuinely apologetic; he shook his head far too quickly. “No, no, that’s… that’s a good thing.”

Julian could count on one hand the amount of people he’d known who were fans first, who he’d genuinely come to like as people. It was nice to talk about work and that was it; it was just work. Half the reason he’d decided to come back to Dalton was to have just a slice of that normal experience. And if he was bombarded by fans? Well, how normal was that?

“Oh, okay.” She said, confused by the quick refusal. “I guess, you want to keep walking?”

“Yeah. Tell me more about skiing, I’ve never gone all the way up to Whistler. Are you good at it?”

It continued like that; making the rounds of the booths, pocketed hands bumping against each other as they avoided the clusters of people pushing their way forward. Every so often Sadie would spy another Dobry girl and lament the loss of her inventory for her booth; but thankfully, Julian was so out of context next to her, there wasn’t an awkward encounter. It was weird, every second Dobry girl they ran into seemed to ask about Bancroft or Houston, expressing surprise they weren’t with her.

“I guess you were right about the Dobry rumour mill. It’s going full force this year.” Julian joked.

Sadie rolled her eyes. “It’s annoying, but hey, considering they’re off hiding together the rumours will hopefully leave me out of it after today.”

“You’re not worried they’ll start to connect you and me then?” Julian asked, the notion suddenly appearing in his own head.

“Like half of them even realized who you were. You’re not going around advertising you’re the famous Julian Larson; and standing next to Dobry’s current resident witch doesn’t help put two and two together.” She pointed out.

“I just haven’t turned on the charm.” Julian joked; it was an old Hollywood myth, but it had some truth to it about hiding in plain sight. He could stride forward, and let everyone know who he was, but it was nice to not have to chase off a horde of teenaged girls (and boys) this year. God knows last year was a shitstorm for that kind of thing.

“Julian!”

“I guess you turned it on.” Sadie smiled, before turning to see Derek coming towards the two of them. She frowned. “Oh, its that guy.”

“You know Derek?” Julian asked before Derek cut him off.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere! You haven’t been answering your phone. We needed you to help with the Lunch Tent.” Derek was annoyed. That much was obvious.

“I’ve had my phone on silent. Murdoch told me to show up, and that’s all I’m doing. I don’t care if Stuart loses again this year; I just want to have a Me Day.”

Derek’s eyes flicked over to Sadie, “Me Day huh?”

“Come off it, not everyone is a Don Juan wannabe like you.” Sadie’s gloved hand went to her hip, daring him to say anything further.

Derek blinked, alright then. He looked back to Julian, reaching out to pull him away. “Come on, I’m not doing Logan’s prefect duties alone.”

“Why not just let Logan do them?” Julian countered, stepping backwards.

Derek gave him a look. “You know it’s a two-person job, if not a three person job trying to control these freshman on any project.”

“Sounds like not my problem.” Julian shrugged. “Ask Murdoch for help, I’m out of here.”

“Julian!”

“He said no.” Sadie said firmly before Julian reached out and tugged her hand, motioning towards the gap in the booths. His almost laugh met her mischievous eyes.

Before Derek even knew what was going on, Sadie and Julian had taken a page out of her own pursuit that morning and ducked between the booths, darting down and around staves and tent poles to lose him. Maybe they ran for longer than necessary, maybe that was half the fun. They reached the Windsors row, gasping for breath and laughing.

“Do you think he tripped and fell?” Sadie asked, brushing her curly, brown hair out of her face.

“No, he’s more coordinated than that.” Julian said.

Sadie shrieking with laughter and shoving him, “You’re so rude!”

“You’re the one who faceplanted!”

“By accident!”

“It was funny.” Julian pointed out, avoiding Sadie’s playful shove and instead catching her hands and looking down at her like he was lecturing her. “These are dangerous weapons, I ought to report you for use of deadly force. Except I won’t, because you’re tiny.”

“Short jokes? Really?” Her grin betrayed that she found it just as funny. “Well, at least I don’t hit my head on doorframes.”

“You laugh, but I always have to duck getting into limos.”

“Oh that is the most Hollywood thing you have said yet.”

“I’ve babysat Angelina’s kids.”

“Angelina Jolie?”

“I can go on.”

“Oh my god, you’re a dick.” Sadie laughed, “I’d hex you, but I don’t think it would stick.”

“So they’ve been saying about me, since the day I was born.” Julian said, dramatically put upon. “I endure such slings and volleys of-”

“If you start quoting Shakespeare, I will lose it.”

“Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage-” Julian grinned, ignoring Sadie’s protests to get him to quiet.

“I suck at English, come on!”

“And then is heard no more: it is a tale, told by an idiot,” Julian continued.

“Yeah! You’re the idiot!” She tried to interrupt.

“Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

“Yeah, my fury. Goddamn you actors.” She said, looking up with pink cheeks to stick her tongue out at him. “If I could just recall lines like that, I’d never have to use a spell book again, I’d just memorize them all.”

“It’s a gift. What can I say? Not everyone is as good as me.” Julian teased to Sadie’s exasperated smile.

They paused, realizing Julian was still holding her hands and sprang apart; not realizing how close they were. Julian felt his own face flush but hid it well enough. Now wasn’t the time, nor the day, to really get close to someone; even if she was quite pretty, he had to admit to himself.

“Uh, so back there you seemed to know Derek. Even though it took you a bit to realize who I was?” He tried.

She coughed, waving a hand carelessly. “Yeah, well everyone in Prima got to witness what can only be described as the most pathetic display of pining in the history of the world. Casey’s already told everyone to stay away from him because she said he’s a cheater; but then he showed up one day before Winter Break with this giant apology bouquet, and get this, it’s full of white lilies- which I didn’t know she was allergic to, but if you really feel that way about her, maybe? I don’t know? Know her allergies? But also, those are funeral flowers. As far as apologies go, it’s pretty shit.”

“You’re friends with Casey?” Surprise tinged Julian’s voice.

“Not friends per say, but she’s part of the welcoming committee. She’s pretty cool.” Sadie clarified. “How are you friends with a guy like that?”

Julian shrugged. “Derek’s pretty cool. He’s a really good friend when you get down to it, but yeah he is kind of shit with girls. I guess that’s what happens when your best friend since childhood is a gay guy. It’s not like he’s really been comparing notes. Logan and him aren’t that bad once you get to know them.”

“Well, I guess I have pretty biased sources.” Sadie said, waving around at the Windsor tents. “If my friend Morgan’s cousin wasn’t one of yours, I think I’d probably just see a Stuart badge and kick you guys on sight.”

“So violent Miss Moore.” Julian smiled. “We are kind of dicks though, so fair enough.”

“You’re not half bad though Mr. Larson.” She teased back. “You’re fun enough to hang out with.”

“I’m an exception to every rule I will assure you.”

“Don’t start quoting shit again. I will end you.”

“Only if you can reach that high.”  

“Oh you!”

“Hi Sadie! Oh, and Julian? I didn’t know you two knew each other.” Reed Van Kamp said from behind the table of the nearest booth. “You two enjoying the fair?”

The pair smiled; Reed was always a welcome sight, no matter who you were.

“Yeah, it’s been pretty fun. We’ve just been walking around. I thought you’d be out with Shane?” Sadie asked, coming under the tent top to talk more easily. “He mentioned something about Valentines plans.”

Reed looked down bashfully, “Well, last Windsor party got us all banned from Warbler activities; Blaine thought it’d be good if I was sitting down for all of the Fair. So, we’re doing our date on the weekend instead.”

“Aww, that’s cute. Then you won’t have to deal with Valentines Day crowding.” Sadie pointed out. “Really its working out in your favour.”

“I guess.” Reed said, then looked over at Julian. “I’m surprised to see you here. I thought I heard you were staying in all day.”

“What Murdoch wants; Murdoch gets.” Julian shrugged.

Reed smiled. “It’s good to see you anyways; at least someone gets to have a date today.”

“Oh we’re not-”

Reed flushed, “Oh heck, I’m sorry! I just assumed. That was bad of me. Here, have some cookies on me.”

“You don’t have to.” Sadie said even as Julian took what was offered.

He nudged her. “They’re good, take some. Wait, these are some of Kurt’s right?”

“Yeah, it took David and Wes all day to clean up the aftermath. He was a man on a mission!” Reed said, pushing a little ribbon-wrapped packet at each of them; then pushing them out as he cut himself on the edge of the plastic and had to call for a band-aid.

Julian and Sadie wandered off, happily snacking on their free cookies. They really were quite good, even if Sadie said there was nothing magical about them.

“You know, that’s the second person to assume we’re on a date.” Julian pointed out.

“And what of it?” Sadie asked.

“Well, what makes a date not a date?” Julian crunched down on another cookie. “You have two people sharing food and talking, and what makes it different between just hanging out and a date per say?”

“I think someone needs to ask and the other needs to accept. But yeah, its pretty arbitrary.” Sadie nodded. “Most people hold hands or some shit, or kiss. You saying you want this to be a date?”

“I’m just saying it could be an option.” Julian said, mulling the idea over in his mind. It would be nice to be on a normal date; not one where he had to sneak around with a guy and pretend they were just friends, or hide from paparazzi with a girl because his agent wanted maximum exposure for their upcoming film together. “It doesn’t need to be a thing. But I’ve liked talking to you. We should do this again, whatever you want it to be.”

She pursed her lips. “Hmm. I accept. You need to get me flowers though.”

“A date it is.” Julian confirmed, laughing at how easy that was. He offered his ungloved hand; hers slipping into it easily, with a crinkle at the corner of her eyes.

“So, flowers? What kind do you like?”

“Not lilies.” Sadie joked.  

“Belladonna maybe? What do witches like?”

“Well this witch likes roses.”

Julian froze, “Uh maybe something else?”

He face paled; she’d probably heard from Dwight and Laura. “Oh shit! I’m sorry! Look don’t worry about it.”

“No, no, it’s just, they’re not-”

“Marigolds then.” She said, hurried.

“I can work with that.” Julian recovered, the awkwardness still lingering. “You shall be showered in marigolds. You’ll be covered in pollen before the day is out.”

“Now that’s a picture.” Sadie said, letting him lead her towards the nearest flower booth and moving her head so he could tuck a marigold into her curls. “Aww, that’s so cute.” Julian agreed.

The rest of the day was much of the same. It was like they’d said; there wasn’t really much of a difference between hanging out and a date beyond the declaration of intent. It was fun though. He liked being able to wander around and feel like, yeah, this was a date. It was something he could say aloud. And she was nice. Maybe it wouldn’t go anywhere, but as far as dates went he’d had far worse ones. It was certainty better than dealing with all the romantic drama an all-boys school seemed to kick up.

By the time everyone started packing up, they were sitting on a bench near the entrance and exit gates, sharing a basket of chili fries. Sadie was telling him about her last boating adventure around the Florida Keys, and Julian’d been wistfully imagining a surf contest between the two of them if she ever ended up on the West Coast.

The Prima and Royal prefects were gathering their girls near the gate. Julian looked over, “Do you need to get going?”

“Probably. I wish I had been able to drive here on my own, but the roads are too icy for my bike.”

“Why the hell would you bike all the way here? The fairgrounds are like, ten miles from Dobry.”  

“No, motorbike. I ride sometimes with some other students, but I can’t do shit in the winters up here.”

“You have a motorbike?” Julian asked, “You realize that makes you like, ten points hotter.”

She blushed. “You’re an idiot. But yeah, I guess it does. Maybe I’ll take you out sometime when the weather gets warmer.”

“It’s another date I guess,” Julian said, crumpling up the paper from the finished fries. “Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around though? The girl clinging to the cool guy on the motorbike?”

“Well, it’s either you or Allison, and she’s still in her baby gay phase so I don’t want to mess with that.” Sadie stood, before bending down to kiss the corner of Julian’s mouth. She flushed. “I’ll see you around.”

Julian looked after her, a little shocked but in a good way. “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

She waved as she went to join the other Dobry girls at the buses. Maybe he’d have to join the rest of his own House at some point; but either way… it had been a good day. Yeah.

[beanarie]

⭐star⭐⭐star⭐⭐star⭐⭐star⭐⭐star⭐ (or talk more about and/all of your Elementary WIPs/ideas bc I want every single drop I can get)

so i totally wrote about joan having breast cancer a couple years ago. here’s the bits i cobbled together, some of which also disappeared from my phone, which tells me i need to back my shit up more often!

~

The call comes while her stitches from her lumpectomy and lymph node removal are still in place and hurting like a mother and she's only too aware of Sherlock, his terror an acrid smell in her nose. She's told it's not what they hoped, but it's not hopeless, and she barely pauses at all before she looks at Sherlock, smiles, and says, "It's fine."

He's so grateful he takes her out for lunch. They go to a cafe with an outdoor area that he knows she's been eyeing for months.  She orders a giant salad with extra pecans and he wrinkles his nose before telling a story about Thomas Jefferson's penchant for giving pecans as gifts.

The call comes while her stitches from her lumpectomy and lymph node removal are still in place and hurting like a mother and she's only too aware of Sherlock, his terror an acrid smell in her nose. She's told it's not what they hoped, but it's not hopeless, and she barely pauses at all before she looks at Sherlock, smiles, and says, "It's fine."

He's so grateful he takes her out for lunch. They go to a cafe with an outdoor area that he knows she's been eyeing for months.  She orders a giant salad with extra pecans and he wrinkles his nose before telling a story about Thomas Jefferson's penchant for giving pecans as gifts.

[the truth comes out in a week or so!]

"We should talk about this."

He closes the file in his hand and tosses it on the stack. 

"I-I'm sorry I kept you in the dark. I needed to get the full results and figure out what to do next, without... I don't know. Background noise."

"It's not that serious. People with results like mine have a ninety-three percent chance of remaining cancer-free after treatment. Really, it's barely cancer." 

"I mean, yes. Several weeks of radiation, sprinkled with tests and maybe a PET scan or two. Still, not particularly life-derailing. I'm going to work. The only real change will be to my availability. And I won't be able to leave the city, except maybe on the weekends. Overall, we'll simply get more use out of face-time than we did before."

A series of short, shallow nods urges her to let the other shoe drop.

Joan adjusts her gaze to slightly beyond his left ear. "I've asked Lin to help me find a place to sublet for the next two months."

His only reaction is the barely perceptible droop of his shoulders.

"I'm not leaving you." The first time she meant to leave the brownstone, he abducted a contract killer, then tortured and stabbed him. The second time, he went back to London for almost a year with no notice beyond a short Dear Joan letter. She can't handle one of his signature extreme overreactions. "Sherlock, it's really important you absorb that, if nothing else."

"But you do plan on leaving."

"It's the least disruptive option for both of us. And it's only temporary."

[the next day, joan gets home and in the library there's a stack of books, dvds, and cd's on wellness-type things and other stuff, like a giant fluffy orange blanket on the couch. sherlock explains he did some research, orange is a calming color. also OK HE RESPECTS HER CHOICES but. she's not a disruption, she's family. also also moving is one of the most stress-inducing acts a person can put themselves through and it wouldn't be good for her recovery to do that twice in as many months. anyway, she stays.]

"We should formulate a safety plan."

Joan finishes the line she was working on and clicks save so she doesn't have to end up doing this report all over again. This has his second sponsor written all over it. Rashida, having completed her PHD, has been taking classes in behavioral science possibly with an eye for a new specialty. She means well, and she and Sherlock get each other like a pair of esoteric intellectuals only could. It's still strange to get confirmation that he talks about her illness with other people. "A safety plan."

"Yes! A short, memorable list of agreed upon actions in the case of emergent medical and/or emotional, um, turmoil."

"We never had a safety plan for you."

 "Didn't we?"

"Fine, so you'll let me pass out wherever I drop and just leave a protein bar by my head so I don't die of hypoglycemic shock when I wake up two days later."

"That's all you did?"

"So I'll let you know if I'm not feeling well and up to whatever's going on." His expression is unreadable, which is rare. "What? You implied pretty heavily that you wanted me to."

Incomprehensibly, his expression becomes almost sad. "That's why you remain so closed off, because of my history of resistance to..." 

"Okay, this conversation swerved past making sense. I tell you things all the time. This morning, with your cereal?"

"When *truly* bothered, you keep it to yourself and speak to no one, unless I draw it out of you."

"I speak up when I have something to say. And, I will."

-

"Have you considered cutting your hair?" 

"I'm not getting chemo, Mom. I told you."

"I know. It's just so much to take care of. My cousin Darlene, she had radiation. It drained her. You'll be tired."

"You've always wanted me to cut my hair."

Her expression grows softer, more wistful. "I do like it shorter." 

"I remember." Ruefully her entire catalogue of school photos scrolls through her memory. Mom's rule had been adamant and easy to follow: Never past the chin. "I'm not doing that again."

"Okay. Your choice." 

Joan doesn't rise to the hint of passive-aggression. 

A few hours later, she gets home from treatment, she takes a shower, and she tries to see tonight playing out in a possible near future. She adds imaginary weights to her wrists and ankles, and the almost unbearable weariness after watching a murderer get to go home scot-free. 

"Fine," she tells her reflection. 

She puts her mom on FaceTime, so she can see the results.

Her mom squints. "You didn't cut that much."

"Four inches." Just enough so she doesn't have to strain to get the brush through while she's blow drying.

“Hm.“

“Anyway, I’ll see you Thursday for tea, Mom?“

-

Lord save her from aspiring criminals who think they're too cool for the interrogation room. Anthony Raymond has been stonewalling them since Bell brought him in. What makes this especially annoying is he won't even ask for a lawyer. They'd tell him to spill his guts, or at least start negotiations for a deal. This nothingness isn't ideal when she has to take off for treatment soon. If she doesn't get this nut cracked before she goes, it'll be hanging over her head for the rest of the afternoon.

The door opens. Anthony doesn't move a muscle. Gregson enters bearing an extra-large fountain drink, a pen, and a piece of paper. He sits, thoughtfully configuring these objects around his immediate space. It takes a full thirty seconds, during which he doesn't acknowledge Anthony at all. He slides the paper toward Joan.

'Paige made you a smoothie. Not sure what's in this, but she swears by it.'

Joan glances at Anthony as though she learned something important, then looks back at the note. "Hm." She takes the pen. 'I'm good. Thank you both.'

'Holmes said you haven't really eaten yet.' He pushes the drink about an inch in her direction.

Joan makes two straight lines, one each for 'I'm' and 'Good'. 

[perp eventually cracks because their note-passing is freaking him out]

[slightly later, joan brings the smoothie into gregson's office. he asks what she thought of it. she says "i didn't try it" and throws it in the garbage.]

-

It's Saturday, the end of her first week of treatment, and there aren't any murders. Joan texts the guy she liked from TrueRomantix, the one who came to check that she was safe when Everyone doxxed her and hacked her profile. He's still cute. She can't remember exactly why they didn't sleep together the last time, something about it not feeling right. Meanwhile he fosters seeing-eye dogs and he has the best pectorals she's ever seen.

She takes off her bra, but leaves the camisole. It's dark in his bedroom, but not too dark for either of them to see her scars or the semi-circle constellation of radiation tattoos. At one point she guides his hand underneath to her right breast. When he goes for the left, she distracts with a move that almost has his eyes bugging out of his head.

"Wow," he breathes.

When they're done, he doesn't push her to leave *or* ask her why she isn't staying. They'll be doing this again sometime.

-

[another patient in the waiting room at the radiation clinic starts having a medical emergency. joan immediately jumps forward to help and the patient's mom looks at her like who the fuck are you. it sticks with her the whole rest of the afternoon.]

She's been in a position where people have doubted her expertise before, many times. But never because she was meant to be on the other side. She's a patient, that's her role now.

Briefly she considers lying. The Uber app is acting weird, something like that. She settles on a simple, 'Are you busy?'

She gets her reply in less than thirty seconds. 'Need a ride?'

When Marcus arrives at the clinic, he touches her arm and kisses her cheek, a note of intimacy between close friends. It feels natural, even though his customary greeting, usually at crime scenes or the bull pen, is a brusquely friendly "Hey." They communicate mainly in nods and smiles intended only for each other, cups of coffee as close to the way they like it as limited resources will allow. 

After they settle into the car, he doesn't turn the engine on right away. He waits, unobtrusively.  

"I don't want to disrupt any plans you might've had for today," she says.

He lifts one shoulder. "Just a pickup game. Nothing I can't put off for another week."

"Actually..."

He turns his head. "Hm?"

She was warned not to expect anything fancy. No bleachers, not much crowd. Kids of varying ages drift by, many popping in and out of the tiny storefronts. 

She can't remember the last time she simply existed in public when she wasn't jogging or staking out a criminal. The open air feels refreshing. Not one of these people care that she used to be a doctor.

After the first quarter, she asks to borrow the chair of a guy selling hats, scarves, and phone chargers from a folding table. He was spending most of his time at the halal cart talking to the man stuck inside anyway.

-

The chair is comfortable. The lighting tasteful. Joan's shoes feel fine. The mid-level exec at the other end of the table isn't stonewalling in the slightest. His voice could almost be called soothing. 

All those other things aside, if this meeting doesn't end in the next few minutes she is going to jump out the window. 

Her knee bouncing, she shifts her upper body in a way that's hopefully not that visible to anyone else. It doesn't help, in fact the resulting movement of her bra over her left boob makes her want to scream.

"We appreciate your elucidation on Mr. Wallach's movements last Tuesday." Joan nearly bites her lip at the growing light at the end of the tunnel. "Now if you could tell us about the lawsuit from three months ago. Sexual harassment, was it not?"

Joan gets to her feet with a repressed groan. Then she runs for the receptionist. "Restroom?"

She's just stepped inside the single stall and slid the lock into place when she hears the deathly urgent, "WATSON???"

She curses fluently inside her head and undoes the lock, just in case. "Sherlock! I'm o-"

And he's barreled through the open door.

"What the hell!" She pulls together the unbuttoned half of her shirt. 

"I thought-" Over Sherlock's shoulder, a security guard starts coming into view. "What-what are you doing?"

"Sorry." Her face will probably remain this garish shade of red for...ever. "I'm, uh, peeling. Itch is driving me crazy."

He blinks, adrenaline making him shake slightly and keeping him from comprehending. "What?!"

"The only emergency right now is my imminent death by mortification." Her left hand tightly curled to protect her modesty, she makes a shooing motion with her right. "Go away."

He turns toward the door, then stops. "I've done the reading. If you have developed a rash, or the beginnings of dermatitis, scratching is highly inad-"

"OUT."

-

Lin greets her at the bar in her signature neurotically enthusiastic way. After tilting her head a little, she agrees to sit at a booth rather than stay near the bartender, where she loves to try out her charms to get free drinks for the two of them.

"I've never seen you go hard like this." She's waiting on the server to bring her second martini and Joan's third whiskey. "You look tired."

Joan waits until after the drinks have arrived. "Thanks, I had cancer."

"What?"

"Had," she repeats. "Had. As of yesterday, it's past tense. When I'm done with this course of radiation, I'll be free." She knocks on the table. "Until the follow-ups." 

Lin gets up to go to the bathroom without a word. Joan downs her drink and orders another round. To Lin's credit, she beats the server back to the table.

"So those times you said you couldn't meet up because you had cases..."

"One, oncologist appointment and two, actually a case. Sorry."

"You told your brother, didn't you?"

Because Joan is three drinks in, she doesn't hold anything back from her eyeroll. Her siblings having no relationship with each other is not on her. "That's different."

"Because he's real."

"Because he lives two hundred miles away! I didn't have to see...that. That expression, in my face, all the time."

"You could've died and I would never have known you were sick."

Joan snorts. "I was never *dying*." There was that period between her biopsy and the results of her lumpectomy, when decades-old memories of various patients, poor souls fading in front of her eyes, resurfaced every hour. Lin didn't need to be there for that.

"Look." Joan kisses Lin noisily on the cheek. "I just got the best news of my life and I wanted MY SISTER here with to celebrate being Officially. Cancer. Free!"

A table of young men nearby let out a cheer. Lin smiles in spite of herself.

-

Joan wakes up naturally. 

She spends a few minutes watching him. Many people say they'll sleep anywhere, but Sherlock actually will. And he never shows a single sign of stiffness or back pain. She envies him that, even as she acknowledges that she'd still prefer a bed, even if there were no consequences to sleeping on the floor. 

"Is this just the first time I caught you?" Her voice is husky from sleep. 

He springs to his feet. "Oh!" He runs off, returning no more than six minutes later with breakfast.

After placing the tray on the bed, he stands at her side, stiff and silent like a brooding Lurch. "What, no speech?" she teases.

He takes in a shaky breath. "It has been quite some time since I lost the ability to imagine a life without you in it. Gratitude isn't sufficient enough to describe how it feels to know this is a concern I can put off for another day."

"Oh, Sherlock." 

"These past few weeks have been fraught, for you." She gives a start. This has taken an unexpected turn. "Full of pain and fear, the reopening of old wounds. You've conducted yourself so admirably. My respect for you, which had appeared to reach its zenith years ago, I find had untold heights yet to climb." He leans toward her, his hand cradling the back of her head while his lips press against her hairline. 

He disengages, turning his back and she makes a tentative grab for his hand. He freezes in place, not resisting. "I love you, too," she says thickly, shoving aside tears.

Joan doesn't remember having done anything remotely admirable. She's been tired and snappish, she forced everyone to cater to her, she stopped doing her fair share of the work. The one person she tried to help didn't need her. It's been weeks since she felt like she existed for any worthwhile reason. 

Maybe that's why it's good to see herself through his eyes, just this once. She squeezes his hand, then quickly lets go, taking pity on him. Plucking the cloth napkin from the tray and pressing it against her eyes, she laughs. "So this was your plan for my last day? Get my face all blotchy just in time to go in there and say goodbye to all those people?"

"What does it matter? You'll never see them again.

[k-she-rambles]

Here we go: so, theoretically, my Ultimate Wishlist of how I would have “fixed” The Last Jedi.

Uh. This is long, and I don’t like to willingly subject myself to this movie, so my plot details might be a little fuzzy.

PART ONE: THE RESISTANCE, HEROISM, & POE WAS WRONG

(PART TWO, PART THREE)

We open, as before, with the evacuation of D’Qar. TPTB are right, that is a classic, good ol’ Star Wars open and plonks us right in the middle of Things Happening.

However, I would add/change a couple of things!

Finn wakes up during the evac, and wanders out of medical, past the the protesting droids, and straight into PAIGE TICO (yes, Paige). Paige makes a brief but memorable impression and helpfully radios Poe (out on escort duty, getting ready for Project Hilariously Annoy Hux) so that Finn can hear “When we get to rendezvous we’ll catch up, buddy!” from a familiar voice.

They also run into Leia, who gives the rundown of where Rey is, and makes Finn an offer: They’d love to have Finn in the Resistance, but it’s not his fight if he doesn’t want it to be. If Finn wants, Leia will make sure he gets safely dropped off somewhere on the way. But she asks that he only tell her his decision: the rank and file have decided that Finn is their New Hero --the common stormtrooper who stood up to the machine, saved Poe Dameron and BB-8, was integral to destroying Starkiller Base, fought Kylo Ren hand-to-hand and lived...

If Finn is going to leave, it’s best for morale that he does it quietly.

BEHOLD A THEME: People think of you as a Hero and that is Important to them, even if you don’t feel very heroic and are...mostly just making it up as you Protect Your Friends. It still Matters, even though it’s weird and frustrating.

And we Move On, because we have action to get to. I’m sure Finn will get to hang out with Paige later, right?

So the battle of D’Qar happens, largely as scripted.

Some things:

We met Paige, so her death has a smidge more impact.

I’d put in a brief “Just like old times” line between Leia and Holdo.

We don’t have to get to know Holdo before Poe does, but I feel very strongly about omitting the editorial nonsense that frames Holdo as New and Threatening to Poe. Just a little thing to establish that Leia and Amilyn know each other from way back (Let! Women! Have! Friendships!). Plus, I find the competition between Leia’s Friend vs. Leia’s Protege much more interesting than Unreasonable Authority vs. Plucky Hero. Especially because Poe is wrong, even though the Editorial Nonsense forces us to side with him. (There, I said it.)

Finn can’t stay out of the action and gives some minor strategy assistance on the bridge. This is important, because in my version, he’s the one who brings Poe down from his Righteous Anger High after the battle.

Finn, who has never once in his life put the mission or the Cause above the people who take part in it. Finn, who was chastised for not leaving weak troopers behind. Finn, who wants to flee the First Order but has to go back for Rey. Finn watches the Resistance ships fall, listens to the pilots die, breathes, “Dameron, what have you done,” and Poe, his cheek still stinging from Leia’s slap, finally staggers.

They did bring down that giant FO ship, sure. But the Captain of a small and brilliant strike force like Black Squadron and the Commander of a larger force trying to stay alive for another day necessarily have different priorities. Bringing down that ship would have been a win for Black Squadron. It’s a loss for the Resistance Fleet. That’s what Leia was trying to teach Poe by promoting him, but he hasn’t learned how to think like that (yet), and it cost so many valuable lives.

Poe spends the rest of the film suffering a bit, balancing the fact that he sent those people to their deaths, even though they died fighting for what they believed in. Poe seems to be Rian Johnson’s favorite, so lets really lean into Poe figuring out what it means to be a leader.

Character Arc --Poe as Leia’s Protege: How to think long term/think like a commander. Poe’s usually brilliant strategy of trusting your gut and the skills of your people and just going for it has led to a costly Pyrrhic victory and his demotion. Can he redeem himself?

The FO follows the Resistance, the run on the Raddus happens, etc.

Character Arc --Hux being Hux. Star Wars needs its one-dimensional cartoon villains with less Drama than the main antagonists. That’s just how this works.

Character Arc --Leia & the Power of Belief. Despite everything, Ben is still her son. She still believes in the Resistance. She still believes that Luke is out there, and of course he’ll come help. She still believes that people can be More and Better, and together they can make Good Causes Happen if they believe and trust in each other. And she’s right, possibly because she’s so darn stubborn about it.

Character Arc --Kylo Ren is Realizing He’s Being Used/Ben Solo Believes in Legacy/Kylo Ren Becomes his Own Man. He’s starting to realize that Han was right. This whole cut away your family ties thing is not working out. He’s trying So Hard to be Darth Vader, following the drivel that Snoke fed him --and then Snoke snaps. He’ll never live up to the mask, he’s a pretender, he’s childish and weak. Snoke wants Rey because she’s more powerful, etc. And so we get Kylo Ren breaking the mask, symbolically breaking the person he’s pretending to be, and being surprisingly introspective as he deals with Rey later. We don’t know who exactly Kylo Ren is outside of “Snoke’s Ineffective Attack Dog,” but it feels less volatile, and possibly more dangerous. Both Rey and Ren are barreling towards a fork in the road that could go either way...

So Finn tries to sneak away, because there’s no one alive/conscious who heard his conversation with Leia, and gets caught by Rose Tico.

Finn just wants to get out of danger and make sure Rey’s ok. He’d stay for Poe, but he’s still pretty pissed.

Rose, who believes in the cause, who believes in fighting back against evil and under a banner you believe in, is l i v i d at her hero’s audacity. 

They get distracted, figure out the tracking thing, and go to Poe with it.

Character Arc --Rose Tico & fighting back against evil. Lets really lean into Rose’s arc in this movie, she’s fabulous. As it stands, we get the shape of it: A movement from the way that Rose believes in fighting the First Order to a Faramir-like conclusion “I love not the sword for its sharpness, I love only that which they defend.” It’s not pronounced enough, though. Lets get Rose some more (or at least, more efficient) screentime.

Character Arc --What does Finn fight for? In TFA, Finn decides that he won’t take up arms and kill for the First Order. But what will he fight for? FN-2187 was a stormtrooper, a traitor. What does Finn believe in? Rose repeatedly brings this up. Finn doesn’t have the luxury of running away. In the end, no one does, and even refusing to choose is a choice...

[scornedlove]

Chapter Fourteen

ROBYN

Why didn’t I just die? I thought to myself as I stared at the ceiling. It was 2am and I couldn’t sleep. I hated nights like these. I had a couple of glasses of wine and smoked couple of blunts with Rorrey and Le. Mel asked Rorrey to perform at her New Year’s Eve party so he and Le were staying with me for a few weeks, before heading North. It was nice having them around. I miss my brother, so their company was always welcome.  

The wine and weed together usually helps me sleep, but tonight I was high and tipsy, thinking about the car accident that redirected my life. I was supposed to be a mother right now and on nights like these I drowned myself in pity.

Just think of the bright side, now I don’t have to forever be attached to the lying cheater who got me pregnant in the first place…. No matter how much I still love him.

I missed Chris like crazy. I missed his goofiness more than anything. I missed the times he would do or say something silly just to make me laugh, but most of all I missed his friendship.  

The last year or so was more than enough to drive anyone crazy but the two and a half years we were together without the drama was everything I ever wanted.

Suddenly I had the urge to contact him. It’s been over six months since I even considered reaching out to him, but I was curious. I grabbed my phone and dialed the last number I knew of his. My face got hot with anticipation, so I hung up before it could ring. I’ll just start with a text. I decided with a sigh. After typing and deleting several things, I decided on something simple.  

Hey, this is Robyn. Just wanted to see how you’re doing these days.  

I stared at my phone, hoping for a quick reply. After a few minutes, I decided to get up and do something productive since I was up anyway. I cleaned out my fridge, did a load of laundry, and started to go through the stack of mail I had been avoiding since I got back.

I was scanning the pile, sorting the bills from the advertisement when a pretty, lacy envelope fell to the floor. I opened it carefully and a smile crept across my face as I read.

They decided to do it anyway I smiled, remembering the last conversation I had with Nikki. She said it would probably be years before they actually walked down the aisle, guess she was wrong.

I paid the bills I could online then found myself shopping. I bought myself a new bag and a couple of pairs of boots. Finally, I felt asleep approaching so I laid down.

The minute my head hit the pillow, I heard a soft tapping noise, and quickly sat back up.  

“Oh, it’s just you” I relaxed as Ollie jumped into my bed. He snores pretty loud so I usually kick him out, but tonight I needed his cuddles.  

“How’d you know I needed some kisses?” I asked, as he kissed me on my cheeks and hands until we both passed out.

“The last day of this sorry ass year” I huffed, as I hit snooze on my alarm.  It took me so long to fall asleep that I probably would’ve been better off staying up all night. Then I remembered the text. He never responded.  

“Is he gonna be an asshole for the rest of his life?” I muttered to myself, dialing his number. This time I was prepared to give him a piece of my mind.

“Hello” Kate’s familiar voice answered after the third ring.

“What the fuck!” I groaned. I’d hung up so fast, she barely even got the whole word out.  

Why didn’t I realize they were probably still together…a happy lil family?”

Now I remembered why I forced him out of my mind to begin with. He’s with HER. That was just the confirmation I needed to let go of the past.

“YOU KILLED THE FUCKIN STAGE” I yelled, slapping hands with Rorrey. He performed two songs, opening the act for an up and coming artist from England, named Ryan. He definitely had the crowd warmed up for her.

“Just wait until I get in the studio” he grinned excitedly. We took shots and I started to let loose.  

I realized I’d been stressed out over so much and for once I needed to let go. I found myself on the dance floor and after a few songs of dancing on any and everybody in my way, I knew the liquor was hitting me hard because I felt like I was being watched.  

I looked up and could’ve sworn I saw Chris, but when my eyes focused, I realized it was Matt.

“You tryna have a repeat of last year?” he asked with a smirk.

“Hell nah, you bad luck. I had a fucked up year after that kiss” I laughed, overly obnoxious.

“Well my year was great. I think you’re my good luck charm” he winked.  

I started to ease my way out of the crowd, to get as far away from him as possible, when someone stepped on my foot. Before I could stop myself, I shoved the man in front of me and he instantly pushed me back, only he was twice as rough with me and shoved me into someone else, whose drink spilled on me.

“Are you ok?” He asked helping me out of the crowd. I was fuming with rage as I fought back tears.  

“No, I’m not fucking ok” I yelled in frustration.

“Whoa, I’m not the one who pushed you” Dre frowned, clearly offended. It took me a minute to recognize him.

“Dre!” I smiled giving him a hug. As his scent filled my nostrils, I was reminded of the last time we’d spoke (which was the day before my wedding that never happened) and I started to feel uneasy.

“I figured I would run into you here, but not literally” He joked at the wrong time. I was wet and irritated so I couldn’t help but give him an evil glare.  

“I saw Mel and knew you couldn’t be too far” He explained, taking off his jacket and placing it around my shoulders.  

“Thanks” I replied, gladly taking it.

“If you don’t mind me asking, where is your husband?” He asked looking around nervously.

“You know what, fuck you!” I cursed him and took off. My blood was boiling and it took a lot out of me not to slap him. I went to the bathroom and grabbed a few paper towels and patted my shirt, which was useless considering it was a white T.

“Robyn? Hey girl!” Lala smiled, giving me a quick hug. ” This is Chris’s ex I was telling you about” she announced to the girl behind her.

“Ooh, I love those boots!” the other girl smiled.

“Thanks how you been, where’s Trey?” I asked, giving up on my shirt and tossing the paper towels in the trash.

“He’s out there acting a fool. It's too packed in here and these hoes are disrespectful. They wanna dance all on your man and shit” she shook her head. “Matter of fact, let me get back out there before I have to be a bitch’s ass. It was good seeing you though” she called over her shoulder.  

When I walked out the restroom, Dre was standing nearby, obviously waiting for me. It was hard not to feel guilty for my attitude with his soft eyes locked on me.

“I’m sorry you probably didn’t even know” I sighed with realization. We hung around mutual people occasionally but maybe the topic never came up.  

“What happened?” Dre asked, confused when I held up my hand to show him the bare finger that once held that beautiful princess cut diamond.

“It doesn’t matter” I shrugged walking off. If Trey was here, there was a pretty good chance that Chris was too. I wanted to make it back to our section which had a pretty good view of the crowd, maybe I could spot them.  

After 10 minutes of searching the crowd, I found Trey and Lala but Chris was nowhere to be found.  

He’s probably at home with his family I assumed and my spirits dropped. Fuck him. I was here to support Mel and Rorrey, and considering Rorrey’s performance was over and Mel’s party was packed, my time was served. I was ready to get wasted, then beat the crowd getting out.

I looked at my watch, five minutes left this year. Good I’m out right after I decided.  

“You bored?” Dre asked, appearing behind me.

“I’m good” I muttered, taking the glass that was in his hand and tossing it back.

“Water? Why am I not surprised? You always playing it safe. Don’t you ever take risks?” I slurred, shaking my head. He answered me by pulling me into a kiss.  

I wanted to pull back but when he slipped his tongue in my mouth, I wanted more. It had been so long since I felt so much passion. I wrapped my arms around him pulling him closer and that only intensified it.  

Before I knew it, everyone began to count down to the next year, and when they got to zero, he pulled away to say Happy New Year.

What have I done? I groaned, slapping my forehead. Not only did I have sex with Dre, I also stayed the night. I came back to his place to catch up. I told him about the wedding I ditched and the baby I lost and he told me about his new life being stress free. Apparently, he was enjoying being a bachelor and focusing on his career. One thing led to another and we had wild, passionate sex on his balcony, sofa, and bed.

I turned my head ever so slightly to see if he was awake and almost had a heart attack when he started to snore. Thank God I sighed, relaxing and easing out the bed. I grabbed my clothes and boots and slipped out unnoticed.

“Bitch!! You got some last night, didn’t you? “Paige asked, interrupting my thoughts. I couldn’t believe last night actually happened, my whole morning was thrown off because I was off in lala land.

“Huh?” I asked dumbfounded.  

“Don’t play dumb, we all saw that kiss last night” she teased. Instantly, I could feel my face get hot with embarrassment.  

“Caught red handed” Jenn giggled, adding in her two cents.  

“A lady never kisses and tells” I winked and Frankie gave me a high five.  

“I’ve taught you well” he clapped and we all roared with laughter. I was even more embarrassed when Dre showed up at noon with my purse and some food.

“Well at least we know you put it on him” Paige whispered when she saw him walking in.  

“I tried calling you, but your phone was going to voicemail. I thought you might need this” he stated handing me my bag. Do you have time to eat with me?” Truth was, I turned my phone off so I could put this conversation off as long as possible, but he was here now so, there was no use in avoiding it.  

“What’d you bring?” I asked when we were upstairs. I'd changed my old apartment to a break area for the staff and used it for storage now.  

“Burgers and Fries” he replied handing me mine, then settling down to eat his.

“How long are you planning on avoiding talking about this” he asked bluntly. We were eating in complete silence, waiting for the other one to speak first.

“I’m not avoiding anything” I lied. “It was just sex, it’s not a big deal”

“Why did you leave before waking me up?" he asked, ignoring my statement.

“I had to work early. I didn’t want to wake you” I replied nonchalantly.

“So, it was better to wake Melanie and have her drive across town to come get you?”

“I took a cab”  

“Why would you do that? I could have taken you home.”

“Relax I take them all the time. It’s no biggie” I shrugged, tossing my last fry in my mouth, then reaching over to grab a couple of his.

“If that’s the case, you need a driver. It’s much safer, there are weirdos out there” he pointed out.  

“I guess I never really thought about that” I replied, realizing he was right. I hadn’t drove since the accident because I always use Mel or a taxi. It would be much smarter to hire a driver.

“So, you didn’t sneak out because you were regretting last night?” he asked, getting to his real concern.  

“No. I enjoyed last night” I whispered. “It’s been a long time for me and last night was a much-needed release”  

“Then what are we doing here?”

I had fun. If you did too, we should just keep having fun” I shrugged as he nodded in agreement.

“I want to have fun right now” he whispered, slipping his hand up my skirt, and sending chills up my spine.

CHRIS

The last ten days were straight bullshit. I couldn’t believe I was arrested for something I didn’t do. If I weren’t mad enough to kill Michelle before, I definitely was now.

Turns out she had blackmailed mama for money, art, and jewelry. On top of that, they had footage of my vehicle parked near her home the last day she was seen. I was in jail with no bond because I was at flight risk, until my lawyer proved Michelle was still alive the next night.

He found a video of her on Facebook. She was on the pole upside down, but it was definitely her. Her desperate need for attention had finally paid off.  

“I don’t understand how this got so far” Mama stated, breaking the silence. She’d come to take me home and after learning about all that she had given Michelle, I wasn’t all that excited to see her. I wanted to say she’s the one who let it get this far, but I held my tongue. I wasn’t trying to get popped in the head.

“I’m just glad this is over with and they can finally stop harassing me” I exhaled. I was glad mama came, but I wasn’t interested in the lecturing I knew I was going to get.

“Oh, and Kate was really helpful” she stated with a side eye. I had completely forgotten about that situation.  

“Yeah, she’s gonna be staying with me for a little while” I revealed. I didn’t expect to have to explain this to mama.  

“I hope you know what you’re doing with this girl. She’s already put you in some bad situations, just like Michelle did. You need to be more careful with these women and quit leading them on" she warned, and I realized she was right.  

“I’m just trying to do the right thing for a friend, like you taught me” I explained. I had absolutely no desire to be in a relationship, especially with K.

“How has Robyn been?” she asked unexpectedly. “That’s what you should be worried about. I ran into her a few months ago and she had lost a lot of weight. Poor thing is probably so depressed” she stated sadly.  

“Mama, I tried reaching out to her, she wants nothing to do with me” I replied feeling helpless. After the past week I was not interested in any other negative news. I had plenty of time to think while I was sitting in the cell. My mind needed a break, so instead of responding, I let my mom ramble on for the rest of the ride.

“Thanks for helping me out with Diamond” was the first thing I said to Kate. I swear Diamond was twice as fat now, then when I left.

“Of course, she kept me company” she smiled, making eye contact.  

“What?” I asked, when she continued to stare.

“Do you not want to talk about the fact that you were just arrested?” she asked. I was a little irritated that she would be all in my business, so I shook my head.  

“Well it’s just… the other day you said you could take care of Ty…did you have someone else taken care of?” she asked, fearful of my answer.

“No, I was wrongfully arrested, which is why I’m out now” I defended myself. Everybody wanted to talk about this, when I preferred to leave it in last year. It was New Year’s Day and I was free, I just wanted to eat a good meal and relax.

“Oh” she nodded. “Well I’ve been working from your office. I rescheduled your meetings, classes, and events for the past week but that means you’ll be super busy for the rest of this month” she informed me and I nodded.  

“Thanks. I’m sorry for the attitude, it’s just been a long week” I apologized, feeling guilty when I realized she was only trying to help.

“It’s ok. I’m on your team” she winked.

The next few weeks were busy as promised. I was barely even home. The past few nights I stayed at the studio, while working on a new painting, so when I came home to pancakes in the shape of a heart and Kate cooking in nothing but one of my shirts, I was highly confused.

“Happy Valentine’s Day” she grinned. “I didn’t know if you’d be here today or not but I made breakfast for two”

Before I had a chance to respond, my stomach growled. The food smelled great, plus I had been working so hard that I hadn’t eaten since breakfast yesterday, so I gladly accepted. I wolfed down my food while K bragged about a daycare she’d found for Cindy.

“I was hoping you could help me out on the first month’s bill" she pleaded. I swear every time I turn around, she was asking for something. Well, I was not in the mood for anymore favors, I guess she picked the wrong day.

“I hate to disappoint you, but I can’t give you any more money” I replied, dropping my fork. “I’m going to have to draw the line. You’re taking advantage of my kindness and you know what? I don’t blame you because everything you’ve asked for, I’ve always said yes. I love ya’ll and all but I’m going to give you thirty days to figure your shit out. I’m putting the house on the market.” I announced, getting up from the table.  

I was barely here anymore and it wasn’t like I had a family, so it was only logical. This house didn’t make me happy anymore, it held too many memories, and it was kind of depressing. I think it was her being in Robyn’s favorite shirt of mine that had me feeling some type of way. It meant she was going through my things and invading my privacy while I was gone.  

I expected her to go into apology mode and beg to stay, but she didn’t even respond. Just stared at me wide-eyed for moment before nodding.

I went back to the studio to gather the paintings that were ready to hit the gallery when I ran across the painting I done of Robyn last Valentine’s Day.

I ran my fingers over it, remembering everything that had happened that day. We fought that morning and made up that night. She never even got to see the finished product.

What better day then today? I asked myself, loading it up with the rest of the art I was taking. I made it to Robyn’s boutique before I could talk myself out of it. I was going to try and steal a moment with her, but she wasn’t in. My timing was never good. I decided to leave it with a note, letting her know that after all this time, she was still on my mind.

I told myself I was just going to show up for my bro and chill for a little while, then go home and crawl  in my bed. Trey had finally proposed to Lala, after 6 months of carrying around the ring, so here I was at their engagement party. It’s not that I wasn’t happy for my boy I was geeked for him, but I was exhausted. I just finished helping K pack and move her and Cindy’s, things including the brand-new furniture I had no use for. She decided to move back in with her parents while she continued to save more money, so I was happy to be done with that situation. “-And here is the best man” Trey announced, approaching me with a woman I had never seen before. “Chris, this is Shontae, Shontae-Chris" 

“Nice to meet you” I nodded, shaking her hand.  

“Good to finally meet you too” she grinned.

“Shonte is the maid of honor” Trey explained “Really? I guess I just assumed that would be Lexi” “Well she asked Lexi first but she be declined, I guess she’s going to be doing the catering so she doesn’t want to be overwhelmed.” Shontae responded. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m still honored. She is one of my best friends so anything for the bride-to-be” 

“Why haven’t I met you before?” I asked intrigued. She was cute with her little country accent and it was hard not to notice her banging body.

“I’m from Texas. Lala and I went to high school together” she replied. “But I’ve heard quite a bit about you” she smiled shaking my hand.

“Good things I hope” I replied a little surprised, but not much. I know how women like to gossip so there's no telling what she’d heard. 

“Well I've been a fan of your art for some time now, I just wasn't aware of how attractive you are” she smiled, biting her full bottom lip.

“You're not too shabby yourself” I winked. 

“You should give her a tour at both of your galleries” Trey suggested, with a nudge. It was obvious he was trying to hook us up.

“I'd love that. I'm here for a few days figuring out the wedding stuff anyway. Would you mind?” she asked excitedly. 

“I'm sure I can make something happen” I smirked. We exchanged numbers and she promised she would be calling soon. 

“I see what you did there” I stated, punching Trey in the arm as soon as she was out of sight.

“She cute huh?” he laughed, waiting my approval.

“Yeah, she is fine, but don’t be trying to hook me up. Especially with Lala’s friends. She’s crazy so I know they are too” I laughed.

“You just need some fun. It’s obvious that all that Robyn shit fucked you up. You gotta get back to your old self, and why not start now....with her?” he asked with a smirk. I knew he was right, but I wasn’t interested in courting any women or starting something new, so all I could do was nod.

I was literally on my way out the door when I was stopped by Lexi. “Chris” she yelled, trying to catch up to me. “Where you headed?”

“I have some stuff to take care of. Why? What's up?” I asked curiously.

“Nothing, I was hoping we could hang out after this, but I guess you have stuff to do” she rolled her eyes and started to walk off, then stopped in her tracks. “You know, you could have just kept it real with me” she blurted.

“Girl what are you talkin about?” I sighed. I swear women are always in their feelings.

“Well I used to think you were just going through the motions and hoping to get back with Robyn, but after meeting her and seeing her new boo, I know that couldn't be the case. You could have just told me you're not interested, no hard feelings” she shrugged and continued walking off, leaving me confused.

I wanted to not feel affected after hearing that but I was. I knew I had no right to be upset, she’s made it clear she's done with me. I just couldn’t accept it.  I thought maybe if I gave her some time and space, she would eventually reach out to me. After hearing the possibility of someone new in her life, I realized I should at least give it one more shot. I had to think of a way to win her back before it was too late.