#with like music and sounds effects too!!! its really cool!!! :D

[bat-luun]

i just finished that podcast you recommended me a little while ago, the sounds of nightmares. ough,,, it was SO GOOD. i absolutely loved it, thank you so much for the rec!!

also i may have to play little nightmares now- i've heard people mention it a lot but didn't really know much about it. the lore and vibes are FANTASTIC though and i love puzzle platformers, so yeah. when i have the time, it'll happen

YAYY!!! im so glad you liked it!!!! :D

also please please PLEASE get into the little nightmares theyre my favorite games like ever?? i LOVEE their art design and gameplay and story and vibes and falls over died.

i can definitely send you a few videos about thr lore if you want! oh also theres Little Nightmares III coming out some time in 2025 andCBHDBDHHFHS I AM SO HYPED FOR IT!!!!!!!! >:D

LN3 is also gonna be co-op so im down to play the game with you if you want! (thats also IF i end up getting my hands on it lol-)

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 02/05/2024

The Great Weed

Season 1 No Album Release (Read More)

Ripped by toonlink

Chat, I'll be real - It's been a long day for me today. Lots of shit just didn't want to work. I had a bigger post planned, but it'll have to wait for tomorrow. Sometimes, you just gotta return to the simple stuff. That simple stuff is what Season 1 of SiIvaGunner is filled with - but if there's anyone who could make the simplest of concepts work, it was toonlink. Dr. Soulja, by the very same ripper, still stands as one of the most effective rips on the entire channel, but for my money...The Great Weed is where it's at. Delightfully simple, yet never fails to put a smile on my face.

As I've clarified with many of Season 1's rips in particular, its important to remember that these videos were uploaded before SiIvaGunner as a concept was really known at all to the wider internet. Wheras today we see a lot of rips made far more to impress with their quality rather than to solely catch viewers off-guard, a la Sweatpants Select and Luna, mi Amor - in 2016, the novelty of the surprise was CORE to the rip-making process. Gags like Live and Ooooooooooooooh worked so well specifically because of how innocuous they appeared - the video looks like any other YouTube upload of Live and Learn would, and the featured joke only kicks in deep enough into the rip to where the average listener will have tabbed over to another window. But what makes rips like The Great Weed work so well, part of Toonlink's pioneering magic in a way, is how the joke only served to enhance the listening experience in a way that's still incredibly funny.

Much like the aforementioned Live and Learn, The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker's The Great Sea theme is one that surely sits as a nostalgic core memory to many - the music to exploring the vast seas of a flooded Hyrule dominates much of Wind Waker's playtime. It has such a majestic opening, such a way of putting you at ease right away...and then, right as you're lulled to tranquility, you notice the additional backing instruments, you notice them increasing in volume - and before its had time to sink in that something's wrong, the video changes to the coolest fucking thing you've ever seen. It's of a bunch of people sandboarding (that is, snowboarding in the sand!!), taken directly from the video "Dank ass sandboarding son". The reason for said video reference is of course the song used, I Smoke Weed by Chrome, being featured therein - but the way its used in The Great Weed gives the song and attached video an entirely different vibe.

Because like, as I said, it's that atmosphere and vibe attached to and created by The Great Sea that's made it such an enduring tune, and it somehow manages to work that magic in here as well. That sort of "relaxed majesty" to the theme takes a video and song that, otherwise feel almost like they're trying a bit *too* hard to be cool, and effortlessly turns it into something so joyous, fun in the most playful way possible. The mashed-up-with song's declarations of smoking weed go from sounding almost boastful, to sounding playfully self-congratulatory - does that make sense to anyone else? There's just such whimsy and fun to The Great Sea as a theme, paired with the video depicting an equally great sea of sand and the people who explore it for fun, it transforms the vibe of the entire video into something you just can't help but smile watching.

It's the kind of rip I've sent to countless friends in my time, the kind of joke everyone can understand. Without having ever heard I Smoke Weed, you've likely heard The Great Sea theme in a YouTube video here or there at one point - and you understand just how funny the mix of majestic sailing music paired with DANK SANDBOARDING is - althewhile admiring just how dank that sandboarding do be. Its hardly the most meaningful rip visuals out there, nowhere near something like i love(d) you - but god it makes the bit land so much harder. Those visuals were an amazing way to introduce the joke to unsuspecting viewers 8 years ago, and even in today's SiIvaGunner-aware landscape, it helps in keeping The Great Weed as a super entertaining experience. And whenever I DO manage to catch people off-guard with the rip, using it to introduce the channel to new friends, it brings just as big a smile to face as it brings to theirs.

Oh, by the way: shoutouts to the Raft Ride rip lmao for unintentionally referencing this rip seven years after the fact. Seeing that during the Raftmageddon may honestly have been the main factor for me deciding to cover this rip LOL.

[readingismyhobby24]

im doing pretty good too ^_^!!!!

im SO excited to yap about rainworlds >:D i wanted the game a lot like last year and its like “oh wow i have it now lol” so ive been playing it a bunch and reading about the lore (because its super hard to tell the lore in the game)

to start off simple, you play as a slugcat (basically cat mixed with a slug) in an ecosystem with other creatures, id like to mention how i enjoy that the creatures dont just have set animations for their actions like most games, theyre placed on a rig and the ai has to go off of what to do which i find interesting! you, the slugcat arent meant to be a hero in the story, youre basically just another part in the ecosystem, youre also very low in the food chain (below you are basically just small creatures and plants, while lizards, scavengers, vultures, etc are above you.)

i also enjoy how it isnt JUST a survival game, each character has a story, such as how monk and the survivor are brothers that were seperated, how hunters cycles count down instead of up because she has a disease, etc!

oh yeah i should also probably do a gender chart so nothing gets too confusing (highlighted in yellow is canon, highlighted in purple is implied, white is just my own personal interpretation)

male- gourmand, monk, survivor

female- artificer, rivulet, hunter

neither- spearmaster, inv, saint, nightcat

oh yeah! i should probably explain the actual main thing you SHOULD be worried about!

basically, every cycle is around 13 minutes i believe (except rivulets, hers are shorter, but its back to normal when you meet five pebbles) and when the 13 minutes is up, you have to find shelter before everything rains. you have a certain amount of food pips depending on the campaign, if you have full food pips you can hibernate for the night and itll save, if you dont have enough filled it wont save and will give you one extra food pip, you can also eat extra so you have a few food pips already filled for the next cycle!

the main objective of the game is to follow the guide (iggy/overseer, i prefer to call em iggy) to Looks to the Moon and then Five Pebbles (theyre both iterators which ill explain later!!!!!) im not quite sure how the campaigns end, but ill find out trust :3

so basically, the iterators are what created the slugcats (i believe) and gave a few of them purposes, most were to send a message (like how spearmaster was made to be a messenger), also they have funky names like “Seven Red Suns” and “No Significant Harassment”

also some parts of the game are just really funny 😭 like i know its a game thats probably intended to make me mad but i cant help but laugh at the fact that spearmaster canonically got top surgery (in a way) and that theres a dating sim after you finish inv’s campaign

after each cycle you gain karma! (everytime you die you loose karma too btw) which can help you get through certain passages :)

remember how i mentioned that hunters cycles counted down instead of up? thats an important detail to her story :) because she basically has a disease, after the certain number of cycles, it starts to effect you, and death is permanent (fun fact! if you die in hunters campaign permanently you can go into gourmands and find her body (did i forget to mention that some parts of this game are actually really disturbing? i HATE the spiders.))

its such a confusing yet amazing game, its definitely worth it to get it with the DLC, the sound effects of the creatures, explosions, stabbing, literally every small detail is incredible and i LOVE the music !! oh yeah theres also an upcoming dlc with the nightcat… im very excited :3

sorry if i yapped a lil too much or jumped around too much or if this is hard to understand 😔

bonus pictures of the slugcats with the timeline :) i love them a lot

Okay! Wow!! This sounds really cool and interesting!! And also stressful because this sounds like a game I'd be horrible at 😅 (but honestly I'm bad at all games except for LoZ games, but even then I still struggle with them). Thank you so much for explaining it to me! The little slugcats are adorable by the way!!!

Also, never worry about yapping too much to me!! It literally doesn't bother me at all. I love hearing what you have to say!!! And getting long asks of people yapping actually makes me super happy ^_^

I hope you have a great day/night 🩵

[dots-and-loops]

hello so apparently you can pin posts so I will use this power the best way i can, best hyperpop albums !!

warning: leftist wall of text about music, enjoy reading c:

fishmonger is a must no matter what you listen to, best hyperpop album out there. so much different genre mixings, so many creative ideas, so much oomfh in a single god damn album while still sounding really good. there is no bad song in this album yet there is so many elements from different genres. listen to it! its good really good it has alt/indie rock elements to it :D

jane remover is an artist who boggles my mind because the fella wasnt even 18 when she created the album that has shaped the hyperpop realm since the day it was posted, having effects to the genre to this day. album influenced the genre and i am sure of it! while some of the songs were removed from the album it is insanely fun and unique 4 songs to listen to.

apparently white tiger is digicore but it’s basically the same genre. smooth album, taking inspiration from others while still keeping it fresh and original with various cool and unique ideas. executed well and the songs transition very well, never felt like the song was forced into the album. definitely listen, this more experimental one. while the last 2 were more mainstream in the genre (that means if you listen to hyperpop you know these albums) this one not so much, but the internet sweaty nerds who listen to sematary and dg love 2hollis for some reason

sidenote: 2hollis’ new album “2” goes also extremely hard so listen to that too, even tho its more electropop

sidesidenote: i am pulling these genres from rym i dont differentiate the genres that much.

while frost children’s album “spiral” i didnt enjoy that much this one i enjoyed a lot. definite improvement can be seen. up there with fishmonger as one of the best imo, the beats of this song are impeccable. the lyrics are a point where they can improve but MAN, i can let that slide with the beats. they go hard. transitions between songs are also insanely well executed and make me tingle every time c:

very fun album, consistently high energy from start all the way till the end. all 3 six impala’s songs are very very good. hell, earwax imo is even better than wflytd. but this i would recommend listening to more, because this has everything and it has the everything in extreme quantities. have fun fucks

bit of a wild pick, since twikipedia previously made pretty generic hyperpop, but this album for some weird reason stuck to me. yeah the lyrics can be a bit lacking at some points and not all the features were,,, good. but something about this album is just, good. the beats are solid and unique even when inspired and i dont care about the lyrics when your singing voice is as good as theirs. the singing just somehow fits the music so well. it’s not what i have is so god damn underrated its borderline criminal, the song goes HARD. the buildup, delivery and the ending are just amazing. might be a bit different from previous albums but it’s a good listen. mark my words, in a few years time twiki will make an album up there with the best. but rn imo twiki needs more experience, few more albums and they are golden

honorable mention: food house - food house, SUMMER03 - midwxst, cypress grove - glaive.

sidesidesidenote: you have listened to (or at least have heard of) 100 gecs, i dont feel the need to add them here since the its pretty self explanatory. i will say that 1000 gecs was ass and 10000 gecs was miles better. sue me.

thats it, if i missed a good album then reblog or add a # or smth idfk i came here from reddit. soryy for broken english at some parts, i can use fancy dancy words all i want but english is not my first language and sentences can be confusing and broken sometimes :p. if you reached this far, first of all why and thanks for bearing my infodump, i like the silly beats music. i dont even care if you actually listen to them or not i just like talking about the albums :)

september 2023 update: frailty jane remover was an album i completely missed lmao ! listen to that too :D

after making this list i got informed about the artist duo black dresses, they are slaying hard their music bangs.

some more good albums/ep’s: recovery girl, despite everything it’s still user, I know theres something left for you

october 2023 update: listen to wallsocket listen to wallsocket listen to wallsocket listen to wallsocket listen to wallsocket

[sapphiclinos-moved]

a small list of some specific things and moments in skz songs that i think need attention drawn to them because of how much they FUCK. part 1?

these range from the delivery of a single word or a single adlib to an entire section of instrumental

and I did write it on a 14 hour flight several months ago so it's a bit all over the place.

anyway press more to read me being extremely autistic about skz music and trying to talk about it with 0 music production language knowledge.

in no order whatsoever:

charmer: 1:15 pigeons follow me [PIGEON IMPRESSION]

cheese the synth moment in the second half of prechorus???? eg 0:56 to 1:02

phobia the 'oooohhh' behind the oh Oh OoAH OOah (it happens twice at the very start)

domino changbins dadadadada of dominos falling at like 1:34

domino the instrument during some verses that sounds like 'wahwahwahwah' I love it

domino just holy shit the entire instrumental I could talk about it for actual hours not kidding

booster the higher vocals in the back throughout basically the whole chorus

booster the subtle ah~aah at 2:26

booster the escelation in the aggressiveness of the "one step ahead"

venom prechorus w the wrapped up around ur fingers bit just LISTEN TO THE LIKE. PERCUSSION? idk wtf I'm talking about so idk how to describe it but this song is like the audio version of a fidget cube to me

freeze the beauty of the fake buildup instrumental. like just really tune in to the instrumental 3:30 onwards it'd so pretty

battle ground 3:06 "toZEN👹" WHATT

mirror the ahhhhs in the prechorus ik we have all noticed it u need to REALLY LISTEN AND FEEL IT

levanter whatevers going on in the prechorus instrumental can u tell I love synths. I love levanter so fucking much man

levanter the way it ends half way through the chorus makes it feel so much more resolute? idk I love it

yayaya the CHOIR AT 2:19 FUCKING GOD

rock 2:23 changbins oh!! ,,,no:(((

question the instrumental at 1:18

YOU. the like?? retro japanese game show impact sound effect?? from 0:50 onwards (btw YOU (the i am you intro) is ot8 safe since only changbin, jeongin and hyunjin are in it)

get cool the instrumental at 1:05 owaouwooo uwAuowoo uWAOUuuu :)))

get cool 2:38 the 'ah~h~hh:)))' in the bg

0325 1:55 part from WHO? ( fun fact for the babystays that may not know since its never been ot8'd)

0325 3:09 BACK W THE GAMESHOW IMPACT SOUND EFFECT YUHHH

entrance 1:13 the faint ahhhhh in the bg that you can can BARELY hear (entrance is also ot8 safe from what I can tell apart from maybe some samples that are too pitch shifted to tell)

boxer 0:45 the way the instrumental comes back in just. rapid slideshow of robots for a half second

chronosaurus the percussion being fast and slow varying gives the sense of time coming faster than it should and I think thats neat.

19 the clock ticking throughout is again neat.

lovestay the strings !!!!!!!!!!! raaah I love me some strings

gods menu 0:37 the subtle 'oooooo's

this is a mere fraction of the things I have to list but I don't want this to get too obnoxiously long. I'm calling this part one for a reason cos I have SO MUCH to say. if u have any suggestions of specific parts or elements that are special to you, absolutely send me an ask pointing it out!

[fishsticksloser]

A hc of reader sister (little sister) who loves using memes sound effects to communicate with the family instead of her talk like " bruh " or " why are you running? ".

And it's fun because it makes everyone laugh.

Meme!Younger Sibling

RotTMNT & gn!reader

Warnings: swearing, platonic fluff, what you say is in green

A/N: They are meme connoisseurs, Raph doesn't understand, but is supportive. Coloring the words took way longer than I thought... I have a 6 hour car ride to the hospital so ask away!

Previous  |  Next

You got your taste in memes from your brothers

Leo and Donnie definitely have the most knowledge in memes

"Tight! So let me be, I'm here to give you customer service. and I'll set you free! (right)"

"Reese's Puffs! Reese's Puffs! Reese's Puffs! Reese's Puffs! Eat 'em up! Eat 'em up! Eat 'em up! Eat 'em up!"

It's almost completely random

They've learned not to ask what you're doing...

"Hey, what are you doing Waiting for them to play Gangnam Style..."

Mikey and Leo participate the most

At one point you were really into Bully Maguire memes

Raph was terrified of you

"I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye... W-What!? What did I do?"

Remember that video of the country guy standing on his truck with Nunchaku?

Yeah... That's a you and Mikey staple

"Daisy Dukes, bikinis on top. Sunkissed so hot it'll melt your popsicle!"

You, Leo, and Donnie are the most chaotic about it

Raph and Mikey are a little annoyed by the meme bond you guys have

"I got a plane! I got a plane! I love the fame! I love the fame! You know my name! You know my name!"

Being the 2 youngest, though, you and Mikey have something you will never have with the others

and that's having unlimited meme potential

"It's wizard time, motherfucker! Fire Ball!!"

Raph was very upset about this... ^^^

You are probably the only one allowed to chill in Donnie's lab because of your shared love of certain memes

He vocally stims in his lab and I have a feeling a lot of those are memes

"Wow... Your raps are too wack to handle. Let's do this like we do on the Discovery Channel!"

Leo is the one you go to if you want to recreate some dance you saw on TikTok

And he's very good... It should be a crime

Leo also quotes the Pedro Pascal edit that went around...

"How would you like to ride home on a real cowboy? I got a 6 pack of cold ones all nice and my roomies out all night, so you can scream my name as loud as you need to, sugar."

Is anyone surprised by that though?

"Aren't you excited? You're going to the airport tomorrow! Ehrpohort? I'm not going to the ehrpohort."

Although Raph isn't that knowledgeable in memes, he does know some

"Excuse me, brah. You're excused.... But I'm not your brah..."

Just random things they'd quote:

"I'm almost proud of you... That's the most proud of me you've ever been!"

"Give me back my gamer girl!"

"Material girl!"

"Just got diagnosed with cool guy syndrome... Now I take Adderall!"

"Ugh, you can't sit with us. Actually, Leo, I can't sit anywhere, I have hemorrhoids..."

"Look at all those chickens!"

"Is this an internal dialogue? I can't see the end of the horizon... Hastune Miku!?"

"Its really cute how you're going to defeat me with the power of friendship, but again, I am da Devil... From da Bible..."

"Hey~... What's up... It's me!"

"Whopper. Whopper. Whopper. Whopper. Junior, Double, Triple Whopper. Flame Grilled taste with perfect toppers. I rule- I rule this day!"

"You're an asshole, Leo. You are what you eat, Donnie." I'm so sorry...

"Freddy, you're supposed to be on lock down... VanessaAAAAAA!" When he's been working in the lab too much

"Nah, nah, nah nah. Nah, nah, nah nah, yeah. You're are the music in me! You know the words 'once upon a time' make you listen... There's a reason!"

"HOLD ON! HOLD ON! SO HER SISTER WAS A WITCH, RIGHT!? AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS! THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST, BRO... I'm gonna stab him..."

"Laloyd? That's right! It's me, your son! And it's Lloyd, Dad! No. L-l-o-y-d. I named you. You ruined my life! How can I ruin your life? I wasn't even there!"

[creaturemoment]

HEY!!!

I saw your post talking about that Epic the Musical song being kin vibes, and i HAVE SOME MORE I THINK ARE ALSO KIN VIBES.

TROY SAGA:

Open Arms - Feels like I'm traveling through the woods with them! makes the cat and wolf brain happy!

Warrior of The Mind - This one makes me feel as wise as Athena, makes the dragon brain happy!

CYCLOPS SAGA:

Polyphemus + Survive - Polyphemus's vocals feels like a dragon, esp with its kinda growly nature, also his roars are nice too! makes the dragon brain happy!

OCEAN SAGA:

Ruthlessness - Poseidon's vocals are very powerful, and the crashing waves are very nice! makes the dragon and coastal wolf brain happy!

CIRCE SAGA:

Wouldn't You Like - Very mischievous and up beat! makes the cat brain happy!

Done For - Makes me feel magical and strong, with the plus of Cyclops and Chimera roars! Makes the dragon brain happy!

UNDERWORLD SAGA:

No Longer You - makes me feel wise, all knowing and powerful, makes the dragon brain happy!

Monster - self explanatory, Ody's yelling makes it even better, Makes the dragon brain happy!

THUNDER SAGA:

Different Beast - While this is my least favorite song in Epic, the chorus really makes the dragon brain happy!

Scylla - OOOHHH THIS ONE. The Growls, the Roars, The Haunting Vocals, It makes the Dragon and Coastal Wolf brain SO HAPPY.

Thunder Bringer - Again, makes me feel powerful and like I'm in the clouds with Zeus, makes the Dragon brain happy!

WISDOM SAGA (the latest saga as I'm making this ask) :

Little Wolf - Self explanatory, Makes the wolf brain happy!

God Games - The gods all sound so nice together, it really makes the Dragon brain happy!

Sorry this is a long list, I'm just excited to have found a Epic the Musical Post in the dragon otherkin tag, but hey, Free kin song suggestions!

hope you enjoy!

YEAAAAHHH YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THIS!!!!!!! GRHGRHG ENTHUSIASTIC DRAGON WIGGLING :D

OUGHH EPIC THE MUSICAL MY BELOVED

OMG AND ABOUT MONSTER- THIS ANIMATIC HAS SUCH A COOL SHADOWY EFFECT AT "THEN I'LL BECOME THE MONSTER" THAT'S SOOOO KIN VIBES TO ME

THE WAY THE SHADOWS COVER ODY'S FACE AND ARMS. THE WAY HIS REFLECTION IS A SILHOUETTE. OUGHGHH

OOH and Full Speed Ahead!!!! The instrumental feels like flying right alongside the ship, and something about "watch where the birds flyyyyy" makes me so happy!!!! Being smart and paying attention to the environment!!!!

AND there's this really neat Legendary / Little Wolf amv in my brain with a shapeshifter kintype in the place of Telemachus!! With a scene of her walking behind pillars trying to avoid the suitors, but her animal features only appear in the shadow of the pillar!!

In her first attempt at fighting Antinous she's only using her human form, but when Athena shows up, she uses her powers to her advantage!! Mostly wolf features, but she also takes on wings and talons here and there in reference to Athena :D

[still-single]

Records I Am Glad to Have Found in 2023: Part 1

Instead of rufflin' whatever (feather) maybe it's better that there's just a place where I can tell you that my life is better for having found these records and having them within reach. Maybe you might wanna reach for them as well. Up to you! Maybe feel fortunate that I want to engage with Tumblr at all, but the 16 or so accounts who said (anonymously) that they miss my review content may get a kick out of all this, and see where my head's at now.

New records, not-new records, things I bought, things that were sent to me, things I bartered for. Fair play.

First up, this Beau Wanzer record that I wrote up a while back. I feel exactly the same about it. It's new as of January and there aren't many releases out there like it at the moment. Undead, shufflin' Beau hours. One of my favorite DJs and electronic musicians in Chicago, he really does not seem to walk any path other than his own.

Al B. Sure! - In Effect Mode LP (Uptown/Warner Bros., 1988)

Growing up in my early teens, two songs from Al B. Sure!'s debut album were more or less inescapable: the masterful slow jam "Nite and Day," and the more uptempo quasi-diss track "Off On Your Own (Girl)." I never owned the record (why would I, this always seemed like a "why buy the cow" situation), and it never seemed to turn up used, something I better understand now.

This thing is great! It's short, mindful of our time and Al's. Side 1 contains four slow jams (the Nite! side), kicking off with the classic "Nite and Day" (so much rooftop glare and World Trade Center fixation in the vid) and cascading down into the whisper/falsetto/snap percussion ballad "Oooh This Love Is So" (kinda like an older brother NKOTB slow jam, really well arranged, FM synths cresting over top with some tasteful guitar buried underneath). His take on Roberta Flack's "Killing Me Softly" is doctor's office soft, but works where the Fugees' take doesn't, as Al seems to know there's no improving on the original, and he's lucky just to put it in his framework. "Naturally Mine" is like the shadowy flipside to the majesty of the opener, and doesn't come close, but also doesn't need to; the Teddy Riley guitar work does a lot on its own.

Side 2 (the Day! side) turns on the lights for some more uptempo New Jack Swing template jams. Opener "Rescue Me" sounds like two songs that were somehow merged into one, but that may just be the tonal difference between the intro and verse structure.

"Off On Your Own (Girl)" is neatly, nearly perfect, with quiet, pressurized syncopation, Al's bellyache storytellin' (sits by the phone a lot, it seems), and a delivery, particularly in the chorus, which says so much more than the title states. I'm particularly enamored of his switching between judgmental sing-speak/orchestra hit stress and his bracing falsetto. On the stremf! He even throws us a Slick Rick impression in a bridge. Last two tracks seem interchangeable but that's fine; you don't serve surf after the turf, even if you're coming in hot with bass pounds.

Uptown is generally a welcome sign of quality for this time and place; from Al to Heavy D., Guy to Jodeci. Andre knew what was up. Cool cat logo too.

Honestly there are probably other Al jams worth seeking out, and of course his performance in New Jack City when he fingers Ice-T as a narc with those Bert eyebrows of his. Most people don't hit this sort of success right out of the gate, and that's the needle he threads so effortlessly here.

Ron Morelli – Heart Stopper 2xLP (L.I.E.S., 2023)

Ron was one of the first people I met when I moved to NYC in 2000, and for a while I was regularly having lunch with him, Steve Roche, Adam Paterson, and Matt Smith at the Uptown Juice Bar in lower Manhattan, when we were all working in some sort of office and/or dot-com capacity, going to ABC No Rio and the like. I'd fall in and out of that orbit for a while over the next 6-7 years, as bands formed and broke up, people worked up their DJ chops, etc. At some point Ron moved down to Philly and was grinding in a more formal club DJ capacity before coming back to NYC and starting L.I.E.S., living in the trap, and working at A-1 in the East Village. It wasn't easy, even in that orbit, to find the L.I.E.S. releases, but the quality was always there.

I fell off a bit due to life and the like, missed a lot of Ron's Hospital output (as well as a lot of later L.I.E.S., again due to life stuff; the last one I gripped from the initial run was Florian Kupfer's Lifetrax), and last I knew he had relocated to Paris. Living in Chicago has given me more of an opportunity to interface with house music as it happened, with proximity to the records and DJs in clubs, to where it started to click with me. Heart Stopper retains this same sort of focus, drilling down on the repetition and stress/release of the foundational cuts of the initial era. My fave here is "Tangled Trap of Love," a big nod to Master C & J's "Face It," but I've found myself putting this record on and letting it roll to the close more often than most I've favored this year. Didn't make it to the Podlasie Club back in May, but I did appreciate this (paywalled) interview in the First Floor Substack, the guy I remember so well playing stoically to the bozos up front, dialing down style to the horizon where it meets substance and accepting nothing less.

(Doug Mosurock)

[mondaymelon]

RAHHHHHH HIHIHIIIIII MELONNN <33

"i had a good dream that i thought was going to be very silly but then the ending was sad and i woke up and was like WAIT NO IT CANT END LIKE THAT . so i reworked the plot in my head and tried to go back to sleep to continue and fix the dream but wegh it didnt work... SOBS."

STOP WAIT I DO THAT A LOT TOO LIKE its like oh no i dont like this scene BOOM rewind! noooo the story cant end like that TRY AGAIN! ueueueueue thats so sad why didnt it work ueueue sobes with you also. FICTIONAL CHARS APPEARING IN YOUR DREAMS IS SO REAL HELP i rmb once i watched a fan animatic of xiao playing the kazoo n that night i dreamt that he was playing a saxophone which sounded like a kazoo n i was throwing confetti n paper money at him,, i hope he appears in your dreams soon i think it will be a very interesting dream hehe.

ALSO. AKABANE KARMA??? HELLO?????? when is it my turn smh. ...vox... akuma.... his cooking streams were the death of me omfg AND WHAT. HYUNJIN AND BEOMGYU??? WHAT. 😀 that was a very interesting dream CRYING they THREW CEREAL AT YOU ?? i.. i won't ask any further. mhm.

THE HEADBOPPING WITH LIGHTS OFF IS SO REAL HAHAHKJDHFKS but for me it's more like my brother walking in on me aggressively bopping to music and walks straight out :'D fun times!

japanese is a nightmare i tell you. i am quite effectively illiterate in japanese sobs n falls to the ground HAHAHSKLJFHLDSJK why. why does 怪我 and 怪我 mean different things WHY. (one is 'blame me' and one is 'injury') why is 娘 mother and daughter at the same time. why. 日本語話とても難しです。*weary noises* but duolingo is actually p good for building vocab i think !! YIPPEE!!

ok yes questions. im a kaeya [BEEEEEEP] i meant kaeya main. LOL i cant think of other fictional chars atm so i will just say!! fav genshin chars!! kaeya beidou ayato kazuha fischl furina kirara collei childe && uhm uhm i forgot the rest OMG YEAH 呵呵以后不想让任何人知道我们在谈什么就可以用华语🤭 RAHHHH i recently became absolutely obsessed with modern family i think its really funny && animes! uhhhhhh spyxfam! campfire cooking! senko-san! the genius prince! my next life as a villainess! parallel world pharmacy! and i forgot the rest! HAHAHAHA ooh ooh okok adding on!! what are the top 3 items on your bucket list for 2024?

giggles loudly back at you HAHAHKJSKJF i get loads of bye-lingual moments though,, (forgot the word for tissue in all 4 languages but somehow knew it was spelt taschentuch in german) & yeahh i switch a lot w my brothers esp when we wanna say stuff we don't want people understanding (read: parents) && normally it's mandarin with parents + english sometimes!! yippee!!

NAH CAUSE THeRE WERE. TWO KARMAS. SOBBING. DONT ASK ME WHY BUT HE HAD A CLONE AND THEY WERE BOTH ROMANCING (?) ME?? idk. that dream was a blur and i dont remember it anymore UGHSDJK

the vox. the vox one. i remember. so vividly. i was a vtuber and we were playing minecraft and i did something super cool and funny and the next day there were clips about me and i sobbed wtih joy and then i woke up in my hotel and laid there for a solid half hour questioning if that was real and knowing it wasnt but praying it was. sobs.

wAI WAIA RYUU ARE YOU. ARE YOU A KPOP FAN. STARES AT YOU. SHAKES YOUR SHOULDERS VIOLENTLY if you are. fave groups and biases pretty please. i am in love with skz + txt + enhypen. E E E EE. E E JFSDODJkldlkjlajs biases are hyunjin (big surprise) n miho, txt bias is beomgyu (another crazy, wild, surprise!!) and honestly i cant choose with enhypen but im sorta leaning towards ni-ki rn... e e e e

dont be shy ryuu. whats the redacted. :) aaa for me fave characters... wai have i already said this idc uhm uhm xiao + kaveh + gorou + dori + nahida + venti + furina + fischl + oh so many more. ik some people dislike dori but she just wants the mula and honestly girl same LMAO

ooo spy x family is the silliest!! (have you seen buddy daddies).. for me im watching several things at once rn but its the apothecary diaries, the eminence in the shadow, and migi n dali !! these are all still airing rn so im having a silly time

uhhodkoadsfd tbf i dont really have a bucket list... if we're talking abt small goals ig its just to get good grades cause of my asian parents, to improve my art, and to finally bring my smau out of its stalemate cause i havent touched it in months and i feel bad abt it... sjdflkd

help when i talk with my brother about things we dont want our parents to hear we cant speak in mandarin cause they know it so we just replace the first letter of every word with b except for some few select examples

like. "brek babing bot bis bere" is shrek's bathing spot is here and dont even ask me why i wouldnt be able to tell you LMAO

and "b-b-b-b-b-beer" is like how are you or soemthing along those lines. my brain fries every time we attempt to speak in bod (dont ask why we named it that either i cant tell you too my brain is empty) and WOADOJFOS SAME HERE !!! uhalkdf hmm more questions... do you read any manhwa / manhua and if so which. because i NEED MORE MANHWA READERS IN MY FEED PLE. A S E

[lizardwithacomputer]

Finding A Specific Missing Announcer Voiceline from DDR: Mario Mix

I just went though unimaginable torment (spent 5 hours trying to do this) in order to obtain the following sound byte:

What you hear above is the voice of Londell "Taz" Hicks (I'm 90% certain of this) who was the announcer for several Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) games, both in the arcade games and games for console, particularly Max, Extreme, and SuperNOVA. Based on ear and the release timeframes, he is also the announcer in DDR: Mario Mix.

The above voiceline has been an inside joke in my friend group for more than a decade. It has tormented and taunted us every time we boot up the game. It comes up any time performance is in the question. Speeches, presentations, concerts, D&D games, everything. I wanted this sound byte for the purposes of psychological mayhem and figured I'd do some quick searching and have it downloaded in time to get groceries.

This isolated voiceline does not exist in any archive I could track down.

So, obviously, I figured I'd get it myself. That it would be easy. And, I'll be frank, despite all my struggles, it could've been so much worse if not for the hard work of media archivists before me. Here's how I was able to track this voiceline down:

Getting into Stepmania/ITGMania/Project Outfox necessitated that I know a thing or two about where to get simulation files for the game. In fact, I'd already gotten the simulation files for DDR: Mario Mix, which is what prompted the idea of finding the same announcer. The files only contain music, album art, and step data (the arrows in DDR), and not, reasonably, anything from the game. So I had to look elsewhere.

Stepmania has a large customization and creation community that makes themes, custom charts, and, most importantly for me, announcers. The first thing I did was figure out the most likely announcer for DDR: Mario Mix, then headed to the Stepmania archive and started downloading. I started sifting through the files, but all I could find was this voiceline from DDR Extreme2:

As you can tell, these may be the same words, but it is NOT the same voiceline. It isn't smug enough. It's too supportive. This will not cause the torment I desire. I started to despair. I trawled every single other game Taz had announced for and only found this same inflection. The smugness of DDR: Mario Mix eluded me.

The next thing I did was try to get them from the game itself. The Dolphin Emulator has a really cool feature that lets you extract the contents of "discs" (in this case, a mounted .ciso file). Once I had that, I started to sift through, praying that it wouldn't be embedded in an obscure bin file.

Instead, I found this, in a folder labelled "sound":

What the hell are these file formats.

Briefly, I gave up on trying to extract things from the disc and started looking in different archives. I found one archive of video game music, that had happened to back up all of DDR: Mario Mix, and it happened to include some sound effects in it! I was hopeful, but after clicking going through every unhelpfully-named file, I was out of luck. Why would an archive lack part of the game? Well I went to the forums tied to the archive and:

DID YOU REMOVE THE VOICE CLIPS I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR, 1425720626? DID YOU?!?!

Anyway. Searching this forum still provided me with some other options. Mainly, a post talking specifically about the msm and pdt files I was confused by before!

And this was figured out 11-12 years ago!! Remarkably, the download for the script still worked. So I loaded it up into VSCode, fixed some of the outdated code (specifically, had to change ord() calls to int(), some bytes stuff, I could ramble about this, but-), and ran it. This python code produced 465 dsp files. A dsp file is an older type of data sequence file that is common in older videogames and is used to play audio.

Since its on the older and obscure side, it's not something a native media player can play out of the box. The forum I've been searching through, it turns out, is actually part of a bigger website (hcs64) that has tools related to video game music archival, including audio ripping tools and, more importantly, a program that can play and convert dsp files called vgmstream.

I used the vgmstream web player to listen to a couple randomly chosen dsp files I had from the 465 I'd gotten from the python. Luckily, there was a small form of organization, and when I hit the files starting with 0003, I heard the sweet, sweet voice of Londell 'Taz' Hicks. And to my elation, the very second file I tested was the glorious, smug, tormenting words:

Everybody is watching you!

This is generally where you stop, because you've got the file now. But since I'm writing this primarily for my own archival purposes, there's a couple other steps I took after downloading the voiceline.

See, vgmstream converted the file to a wav file and I needed an mp3. This is actually easy enough. If you open up VLC (traffic cone video player) and go to Media>Convert/Save, you can convert it easily. I threw the file in there, made a new profile for the conversion settings, adjusted the bit rate to be the same as the wav file...then, instead of making the sample rate the maximum, like I should've done, I left it at the minimum and, uh...

whoops.

[tentacledtherapist]

Lisa,

The stars are beautiful. While I was away I was picking out all the same constellations. I also don't see them often, so when I go to my events and wind up deep in the woods, I love to look up and see them. Its comforting to think that we see the same stars. You definitely seem to know more of them than I do, but the songs and poetry were right. When they shine so brightly it makes the world seem so small and the universe so unbelievably big. I normally don't see any, and my events I see more and clearer than ever, but sometimes I get so far out of the way of humans that I can see the stars so densely packed and so bright that it was like I was floating through space. Truly mind boggling.

I don't mind the nicknames either by the way. I appreciate them, actually. I like being Creech or Creature or Adam! I'm sorry for not writing sooner, I wanted to wait for you to come back. I turned on notifications, so when you post I come back online to see the answers. If you ever need me, just post something and I will be here.

Last time we wrote you mentioned liking theme parks because of practical effects and I completely agree. The abilities of people to basically make dreams come true is fascinating. It is why one of my favorite rides is the Haunted Mansion. The ability to make the incorporeal ghosts into something visible and tangible, but still ghostly, is a daunting task but they did a really good job. Maybe this is also why I like theatre. I'm not crazy about theatre like some people, I don't go to massive broadway productions or have a favorite musical, but I've studied theatre and its the backstage I love more than the acting or singing. Again, its the fantasy come to life. Making ghosts real, making clothing transform before your eyes, people catching fire but never getting hurt. The real practical effects, that feel like youre reaching out to touch a dream. I love that.

You had asked about my event, and its actually an ongoing campaign. I go every month, and its almost like theatre. Everyone has their own characters, and every month we get together, about a hundred of us, in a campground pretty far out of the way (so no one hears us screaming). Its a large ongoing story with a lot of interesting moving parts. I think something that is fascinating is that there's parts of the plot I might not even see or know is going on. Theres so many people with their own individual plots and ideas and stories all combining at the event that its such a mixed bag of what you interact with. My character was actually a zombie that came back into sentience. She is still cursed to need to eat flesh, but she does so with regret and anguish about hurting people, especially because she is a doctor. She kind of became a surgeon to give back to the people who take care of her. If she can heal and save more people than she hurts, she figures its a fair deal for her continued existence in a world where she looks like the monsters everyone fears and fights daily. Its such a fascinating character to play. You can see why I grew attached not only to her but our shared source as well. I have a soft spot for those who have defied the laws of nature, and find themselves out of time and place.

Kind of like us.

-Your Creature

creech! oh i’m really glad to hear from you. i was sort of worried that i was just, yelling out to the void, but i’m very happy that wasn’t the case. (and i’m glad you’re okay with the nickname :D)

i hope you’ve been well while i’ve been ‘away.’

that campaign sounds like so much fun??? i play dnd a lot, but it’s so different at a table than actually dressing up and acting things out? i enjoy theater as much as the next person who was in choir as a kid, but that sort of,,, acting is something i really admire? being able to step outside yourself or see yourself through someone or something else? it’s really cool. it sounds like so so much fun :D

the haunted mansion is one of my favorite attractions too! the one by me (west coast, so disneyland) is currently under renovation for the whole year ‘cause they’re completely gutting the queue, which is disappointing, but it’s not as if i really have the money to go to disneyland so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. pepper’s ghost effect is just so versatile and so incredible? it’s just Everywhere and it’s so cool? plus all those early day animatronics, and the everything else? really really incredible

there’s something similar to your event that happens at a local theme park near me? they have this old west ghost town themed area, and every day for all of summer, every summer, they have a bunch of actors filling every building and running around doing all sorts of shenanigans. it’s much less Serious than a zombie apocalypse, moreso a fight between two silly rival criminal gangs, but there’s just so much going on, you could spend all day walking around maybe a few hundred square feet of land and still not be privy to everything? it’s something really cool

i have a fondness for ‘beauty and the beast’ type stories. there’s this sort of,,, fear that people wont love you anymore (however you define love) if they see the ‘weird’ or ‘scary’ parts of you. so you show them the distasteful parts first. and if they love you anyways? becoming more… human through love? there’s something innately reassuring about that sort of love

i dunno. i guess you can start to see why i latched on to our story. (besides the obvious of remembering things). beauty and the beast, pride and prejudice, eros and psyche, lisa frankenstein, etc… i just… that’s a sort of story i find solace in. seeing people find humanity in each other. and growing through their own troubles because they have someone there to support them and to lean on.

- Your Lisa

[cocoisindecisive]

hi very silly and good job on taking the time to make this, just got a couple of corrections for ya :]

you say the central motif is repeated with the last three notes being brought down by a tone [sic] but i dont actually see or hear that happen anywhere.

you dont mention that the "second part" of the motif is very similar to the first statement but with it's first measure having it's intervals being inverted (and the final eighth note keeping the pitch of the dotted quarter note). or that the second measure is again similar just that the missing C from the first measure is now the downbeat of this measure, and the B that used to be the downbeat is now and 8th note preceding the new downbeat. (plus the first statement of this second iteration changing the final three pitches so that its a stepwise walkdown from G to E)

and then the chord progression you outline seems like gobbeldygook to me. measure 1's downbeat is not a Dsus chord, it's pretty clearly a power chord, and it leads into an F not an Esus4. measure 2 is mostly fine though, only think is that it is definitelly a G chord! if you wanted to be pedantic you could say it's a Gomit5 but i really wouldnt bother specifiying that

and whoops your roman numerals are wrong! the big issue is that this 2 bar phrase DOES contain a tonic chord. in fact its the first of the measure! this is pretty clearly in D dorian, but i think you've confused it for C major since they share a key signature. but nope! given that correction and the ones above the roman numerals looks more like a [I -> III -> IV -> V].

closer with measures 3-4 its just that measure 4 is an an Asus4 to A and that adjusting for you being in the wrong key the chord progression is still that same [I -> III -> IV -> V]

a couple of things wrong with this one. first of all i analyzed the chords for measures 5-8 as [Fmaj7 -> Gadd9 -> Amin7 -> Cmaj7-> Fmaj7 -> Gadd9 -> E -> A] with roman numerals: [III-> IV -> V -> V/III -> III -> IV -> V/V -> V]. no PAC here! also, even if this was actually in the key of C major there is no V -> I in the bass and none of the soprano movement need to be an actual PAC. just a bunch of movements by fifth :].

you say the rythym is the only thing pushing the piece forward, and while it sure is definitely a fun effect that's building some nice tension the constant movement by fifth's is definitely also contributing to the tone. be wary of blaming an entire piece's success on one element!

chord progession is: [A -> G -> E -> A]. i'd argue that the previous secondary dominant to the A tonicized the A, placing us in the key of the domimant (A minor). so because of that i''d say the roman numerals are [I -> VII -> V -> I].

maybe pedantic but i dont think its actually that weird or bizzare of a choice for the chiptune melody to be replaced by an acoustic(-sounding) piano. the isat soundtrack consistently uses both acoustic and virtual instruments! this is just establishing that and letting the listener know to expect more of this specific element of the soundtrack. as title themes tend to do!

and the piece is quite resolved by the end actually. if i believed what you believed about the sheet music and never listened to the track i could see how i could think that, but giving the track a listen and using your ear to sus out details reveals how resolved it actually is!

that final correction leads me to what i think lead to a lot of these errors! a lot of the time when learning new theoretical frameworks it can be easy to think about the concepts divorced from the actual sound they produce. you've learned a bunch of these really cool and intersting musical concepts you are excited about. and thats fucking awesome im so happy for you and excited for you too!!! but you haven't developed your ear enough to actually make many analytical judgements. the most important part about analysis is how what we're describing makes us feel! and if we arent listening to and communicating with our body and ear as we think about the music we analyze then we fail to do so in a meaningful way. if you want any advice to develop your ear then musictheory.net has some great learning resources, but most importantly; try transcribing some melodies! it can be daunting at first but it can be extremely helpful for getting more familiar with theory. if you have an instrument at home try using it to help you transcribe, if you dont have one theres plenty of piano players online you can use with a qwerty keyboard, or you can even use your voice! anyways, i hope you keep attempting to make the connections you have and learn to make many more as well :]

i too may have missed stuff in my corrections, or used incorrect terminology, feel free to correct me if i have i started writing this at 6 in the morning, finished at 7, and did not go to bed the previous day so we stay silly

Main theme of ISAT music analysis yaaayyyy yippieeee

big thanks to @ asterythm on discord for the music sheets i am forever endebted to you. here's their post with their stuff! GO GIVE THEM SOME LOVE DICTATION IS HORRIFIC. https://www.tumblr.com/starsalive/755820156323774464/isat-title-theme-piano-sheet-music-for-solo Since they've only done the main theme, i'm just gonna pick apart that. Big fuckin text post + absolute raving and ranting!! please tell me there is a functional line break here PLEA

ISAT's OST is very economical in that it constantly reuses one central motif. I want to go on a very brief tangent to cover this motif because I feel like that's worth doing. ---What the fuck is a motif?--- i want you to repeat something with me, okay? deep breaths. A MOTIF AND A LIETMOTIF ARE NOT THE SAME. A MOTIF AND A LIETMOTIF ARE NOT THE SAME !!! PLEASE DONT USE THEM INTERCHANGEABLY MY HEART HURTS EVERY TIME !!!!!! thank you. so, a motif is a little piece of music information - usually a melody, but not always, i think? - that is reused and changed. It doesn't represent anything, really. That's the difference between it and a lietmotif - a lietmotif represents a person place or thing, and a motif just doesn't. ---Great, So what's the motif?--- it has two parts, this first part:

(this is repeated with the last 3 notes moved down a tone.) this is the second part:

(which has the last part change a little bit when repeated in order to resolve.) There's some nice rythmn made with the dotted crotchet and the quaver, but nothing crazy like syncopation. It's mostly conjunct, but there's one or two little leaps in the melody. It's a fairly basic melody -- perfect for changing and adjusting to the needs of each piece.

this is used in every single track in the game! I'm not kidding, it's in every single one, try and listen for it! it's a very smart use of a motif. Onto the actual piece of music! --Main Theme--

It uses the motif as it's melody (see above), and while I won't cover that again, I will cover the harmony! The instruments are fairly simple, there's a chiptune piano and some kind of strings (?) helping with the harmony in the background. The two play together throughout.

While the key will obviously change between pieces and songs, harmony is a very important and sneaky way to hide meaning in a piece. Harmonies are also very hard and hurt my brain, so if i'm wrong feel free to tell me. (Also i hate reading bass clef)

[Dsus -> Esus4 -> G (kindanotreally) -> A sus4 -> A // ii -> iii -> V -> VI] A lot of suspended chords - suspended chords don't really hold on major or minor, so this leaves it feeling a bit unstable + airy. But, each suspended chord eventually resolves onto the major of each chord, so it still feels major. The thing that decides if a chord is major or minor is generally the second note in that chord - 3 semitones away from the first note on a major chord, and 2 on a minor chord. Suspended chords have the second note be either 1 (BUT IT'S NAMED SUS2????) or 4 semitones away (sus2 / sus4). This lets it dance around either, and it keeps tension until it resolves into either one.

[Dsus -> F -> G -> Gsus -> Asus4 (kind of???????) // ii -> IV -> V -> ii -> ii] this little countermelody continues (i'm not sure if it's because i'm looking at the piano version and OOPS it's too late now, or because there is just a countermelody. what am i saying this would be countermelody either way????) and layers quavers over a crochet and minim harmony. The harmony itself mirrors the same as before - loads of sus chords with occasional, brief resolutions to major chords. But, what's weird is that I haven't seen a single I / Tonic chord yet? there's not a single chord that's just the first note of the key. That's kinda weird - most pieces even start with that. There's something there - technically, we're not at the start of the journey, we're at the very end of it, the very end of this year-long journey that all of the character's have been taking.

[Esus -> Gsus2 -> C -> Esus -> Gsus2 -> C // iii -> V -> I -> iii -> V -> I] WHOOPS I LIED. there's the tonic chord! there's C! There's a good reason for a tonic to appear here, though - we have a perfect cadence, and that is very interesting. Those roman numerals are about the placement of a chord within a key. kind of - it's important for stuff. A cadence is the harmonic ending to a phrase - in this case, a perfect cadence, from V -> I. This sounds "complete" to our ears, it feels like the piece could end there. what's weird is that it repeats twice, and keeps going on the second one. Furthermore, the melodic phrase is ending here, the motif is ending. This would be a far more "complete" ending if it stopped here. But it doesn't.

It changes from block chords to ostinatos (MIGHT BE THE WRONG NAME.), but each of these semi quaver / demi semi quaver progressions return back to one note while playing out a countermelody at the same time, still allowing for some kind of harmony. This change also builds up the pace in the piece, letting it build to the ending - this is the only thing that really drives the piece beyond this point, this building rythmn. Even then, it stops on this little crotchet chord! And then keeps going, into what is probably the most interesting part.

[Asus -> Gsus -> G -> Esus4 // VI -> V -> V -> iii] In terms of intrumentation, something weird happens here - the chiptune piano falls away into a far more real-sounding one, while the strings stay the same within this section. in terms of harmony, again! tons of suspended chords, with one or two resolutions that keeps the piece feeling major. This cadence is. Weird. [V -> iii] isn't really a resolution at all, and as far as i could find it doesn't have a formal name the way some others do. some parts resolve (the E notes) but others don't, (the A notes), so it ends up feeling only half-satisfying. This makes sense - the music is gonna loop, because this is game music, so it does make sense to have it not resolve. But. It resolved perfectly eariler - we did have a perfect cadence. So then, why break into this tiny little two bar ending, that doesn't even resolve? That can smoothly go back onto itself, and also back into the beginning of the piece? This part is quieter, the demi semi quavers have rested back into minims, and it feels a little bit like an anti-climax to the build from earlier - it doesn't feel like a dramatic ending that the build was maybe working towards, more like a quiet moment. Despite that, the texture in this two bar section never thins - the piano is never left behind by the strings - the strings don't get quieter either, just the piano. Why is this two bar section here, then? Why end on this, and not on the part before? Two bars, huh. What a strange number to choose.

[virtualaunt]

rating every song in view monster by lemon demon part 1 (1 - 10)

1. kaleidoskull

8/10 i could fall asleep to it but part of me doesnt love instrumental songs a whole bunch bUT THIS IS GOO D i think part of it makes me think of touch tone telephone or eighth wonder but i forgot like most of kaleidoskull

2. amnesia was her name

10/10 when i heard the full album the first time i think it was one of the only songs i heard???? kinda reminds me of a lullaby ngl and i could still fall asleep to it i think i did one time when we were going home from a long trip to my nanas house for christmas (i think i fell asleep to the whole album it was like a 2 hour drive) ((amnesia was her name she had beautiful eyes and every word she said was a little surprise))

3. the man in strips and glasses

9/10 very cool the tempo changes make me feel so goofy when i listen to it and the random sound effects are goofy too (the man in stripes and glasses is dead)

4. marketland

11/10 i love this song sm it kinda sounds like it would fit in gravity falls in some parts and the instrumentals are amazing omg it makes me wanna run around like a goober and rrrrrrrr (in marketland you can buy whats in demand fifteen years ago wow in marketland all the world is in your hand id go wash it off now)

5. gadzooks

10/10 could probably fit in a musical (rn im realizing how good this album is after i listened to all of his other albums omg how did he get so good at music in only like 5 years) ((kinda reminds me of how i imagine twitter to be /j))

6. knife fight

100/10 oh mg yod im flying away rn this song is so cool i love it sm you cant just tell me "this song isnt that good" i am running around rn tHE VOCALS ARE SO GOOD IN THIS RRRRRRRRRRRR (you can tell i like this song like so easily this is probably one of my favorite songs in the whole album) the tickle fight part is so silly too i love the whole song and the kazoo too omg

7. the only house thats not on fire yet

12/10 this song is really calming i love it i think it would fit really well in one of the earlier albums like hip to the java bean or dinosaurchestra also idrk what else to say about this song other than i could still fall asleep to it (the punchline is that there is no punchline) ((oooo cool synthh))

8. the ocean

1000/10 YES THIS IS THE BEST OEN OH YMG OD I LOVE THIS OSNG SO MUCH ITS ORORAORAOROAR I LOVE IT SO MUCH IT MAKES ME HAppy (i think its obvious i like this song) the "me and my mermaid girlfriend ballroom dance on a wave in the ocean" part is so good i love it sm this is my favorite song ever ((the ocean is very cool))

9. the afternoon

100/10 another really good song omg it makes me think of when i was a really young kid i love it sm (all the less you hold out more and more will fold out but all the more you grow up less and less will show up guess its gotta blow up soon) ((the part at the very end sounds so good omg

10. spring heeled jack

10/10 very silly song i like it (when things go black old spring heeled jack appears) kinda sounds cheery to me???? ((i dont have much to say other than its a really good song but its short))

[joecial-distancing]

Albums cont.

Dr Dre The Chronic (1992):

Immaculate production, excellent sound, boosted Snoop into the mainstream, which puts more tension than usual on finding the themes kinda dumb & gross.

idk this was an interesting one to read people’s response to; at least going off the generator’s peanut gallery, seems like this album was a huge deal when it dropped, but its success ended up killing off the previous generation of stuff (which imo was up to more interesting things) and created the new thing to do, for better or worse

Rod Stewart Every Picture Tells A Story (1971): The bones on this are fine as far as folky rock goes, but the songs go on way too long for how simple + repetitive they are, and not much variety between them.

Kendrick Lamar To Pimp A Butterfly (2015): I like his voice, and I really like the variety of stuff he’s doing in this. Seems like this is the only album from him on the list, which surprises me! I’m gonna look up more of his stuff

My Bloody Valentine m b v (2013): “Shoegaze”, eh? The second half starts doing some interesting stuff, but the first few tracks don’t have enough stuff going on with the synth loops to hold my attention

Minutemen Double Nickels On The Dime (1984): Punk that passes the time just fine

New Order Technique (1989): At first it reminded me a lot of sega genesis music (compliment), but then the vocals started kicking in and ruined that effect

Massive Attack Blue Lines (1991): The only Massive Attack I’d heard before was “Teardrop” (yeah, yeah, because it was the House MD theme, yes), so I was very surprised to put this album on and get british hip hop (or I guess “trip hop”, apparently? not familiar with that one). Way more fun than I expected!

Kraftwerk Die Mensch-Maschine (1978): Not as iconic or joyful as Trans Europa Express but still a lovely time. Always bears repeating that it is ridiculously impressive how far ahead of their time Kraftwerk were

Billy Bragg Talking With the Taxman About Poetry (1986): Started at “fine” then dragged into “really dull” as it went on

Sonic Youth Daydream Nation (1988): I liked this less than the other Sonic Youth that came across the list

John Lennon Imagine (1971):

Title song’s irredeemably scuffed up by The Celebs, but for the most part I was actually pretty into this. I imagine it was probably pretty difficult for people to have normal reactions to beatle solo work back when it was first coming out

The Rolling Stones Beggars Banquet (1968): Rolling Stones have a pretty good hit rate for me, but it’s rare that I’ve been blown away by what they’ve got. On this one, “Sympathy for the Devil” was good but overstayed its welcome. Out of their stuff that’s come across the generator so far, I liked Let it Bleed more

Little Richard Here’s Little Richard (1957): I don’t think there’s ever been a better album opener than “Tutti Frutti”. Somebody on the generator comments pointed out how the older music on the list suffers because of how radically album construction as its own craft changed during the 60s, which feels true to me--This one was absolutely fantastic start-to-finish, but most of the rest of the pre-60s things I’ve heard on the list ended up wearing me down after a full album’s run

Miles Davis Birth Of The Cool (1957): Solid! Made for very good working & cooking music

Dinosaur Jr. You’re Living All Over Me (1987): There’s some interesting sounds and ideas that pop up at times during this, but the baseline sound didn’t really work for me

Radiohead In Rainbows (2007): I’m generally pretty positive on this one, “Nude” kind of brings the thing to a screeching halt

Public Enemy Fear Of A Black Planet (1990): God damn I really like Chuck D’s voice

Steely Dan Can’t Buy A Thrill (1972): Steely Dan’s come up a few times on the list now, and I have the same issue as always. It’s really close to the kind of thing I like, but it feels empty

Lauryn Hill The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill (1998): Real good R&B which isn’t really a genre I like very much

Ramones Ramones (1976): Clearly very influential! This was really cool, but I think I’m zeroing in on liking 80s-era punk more than 70s and 90s. Violent Femmes and Dead Kennedys were more interesting to me

System Of A Down System Of A Down (1998): lol I have a soft spot for SOAD, they feel like they should be grating, but instead I’m just having a good time

[missgeniality]

Opaline Moon (m)

“The Moon can never breathe, but it can take our breath away with the beauty of its cold, arid orb.” - Munia Khan

➺ Banner: @hobiandsprite​ 💕

➺ Pairing: Seokjin x Female Reader

➺ Trope: Friends to Lovers, Idol!AU

➺ Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff

➺ Rating: 18+

➺ Word Count: 11.2k

➺ Summary: You are ingrained to love Jin, right upto the blood that courses through your veins. Confessing, however, is a whole other game. So it’s a good thing you’re bad at keeping your hands to yourself, because happenstance can handle the rest. 

➺ Warnings: talks about dance floor fucking, making out in the bar bathroom, fingering, pussy slapping, passing out drunk, daydreams about thigh riding, reader masturbates, they make out A LOT, neck kissing, a hickey, nipple play, some biting, cum eating (kind of, you’ll see), blowjob, protected sex!, reader and jin are corny, the hurt is real but the sex is real-er

➺ Author’s Note: My lovely, lovely moots - @taegularities​, @kithtaehyung​ and @baepsaetan​, thank you so much for betaing this and hyping it up, your comments made this fic a hundred times better! As I mentioned on the teaser, this fic took a lot out of me, but I thoroughly enjoyed writing the angst and will write more whenever the story aligns! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing, and I hope this lovable Jin reaches your heart! (ngl, in usual fashion, I will come back and edit it again, so if you see a spelling mistake, your eyes are lying to you) Do let me know what you think, your asks and comments make my day!

This is the second part of my Dress Down series, find more at it’s masterlist!

ɴᴀᴠɪɢᴀᴛɪᴏɴ | ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

Sweltering heat. Blaring traffic. Little to no sleep. Through all things wrong, one man’s thoughts wrapped around you like a cooling breeze, a shield to protect you from the vicissitudes of reality, to draw you back into all of him. Unfortunately, your reality may never see that day come to light.

Kim Seokjin.

Kim Seokjin, the man who cooked you up a greasy break-up meal at three in the morning with not a sight of discomfort, putting your needs above all.

Kim Seokjin, whose puns make you roll your eyes heavenward, half awed at how he manages to pull one out of his collection at a moment's notice, and half irked by the untimely laugh it brings out of you.

Kim Seokjin, the man who will never be yours, and you have no one to blame but yourself. 

One could argue that the miscommunication that had caused this present condition was two-way. If you had stopped him, corrected him, let him know the truth… you wouldn’t have to resort to the extreme measures you’re currently entangled in. One would also say, you are trying to redeem your mistake by trying too hard. Surely, everyone and their mothers could see through your ruse. 

This is the fourth time you’re visiting Jin for his BE shoot - a shoot taking place two hours away from the city, disguised under various layers of secrecy to prevent any leakage of the album concept, or Jin in general. Of course, you had been made privy to such exclusive information, because you and Jin were ‘best friends’. 

Best. Friends.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Best friends. The term you coined for (and forced upon) the bond you had. The bond that was too close to sprouting into something new, something fresh, something that was filled with glimmering allure and dragged you in like quicksand. But also, it reeked of commitment, of shadows, of newness that you hadn’t felt in the longest time, and fear of already being far too deep in without even taking the first step. 

The loud thrum of some internet kid’s new hit pulses through the air of the club as bundles of couples occupy the dance floor, laughing and gyrating to a song that, in your opinion, most definitely does not suit gyrating. But with enough of the weekend happy hours intake combined with hormone-riddled minds, one could very well throw it back to a church choir. 

You weave through the drunken bodies, trying not to spill the precariously held three drinks in your hands, making your way to your inner circle, the only people to blame for dragging you to this slosh-fest.

“Y/N!” 

Somehow Hoseok’s voice can echo across the club, but you didn’t even need his addressal because Jin’s laughter is loud enough to navigate anyone to your table. Seeing you struggle with the glasses (and mostly the crowd, with some of them living their exhibitionist dreams), Hoseok gets up to assist you.

“I swear, if I see one more couple pretending to be dancing as they rub one off of each other’s thighs, the black market will have my eyes.”

“Oh yeah?” Jin’s breathy voice interjects your black-market dreams, still bursting in short laughs from whatever sent him rolling before your arrival. “Why don’t you go join them?”

“And whose thigh is she taking, yours?” Yeji snorts out, one hand holding her nebula blue drink, the other wrapped around Hoseok, urging him to come closer. Jin’s features scrunch into a cringe, and you’re thankful for the dim lighting because the disappointment in your features does not reach them.

“The only action these leather pants are getting is in the damned laundromat,” he points to his shiny trousers, “some jerk dropped his drink on it.”

“You could be the first person to give some chick an orgasm and a yeast infection.” Hoseok giddily adds, his fifth shot clearly making a mess of his brain cells. 

Jin claps and gets up to move away from the group. “Better than a pregnancy!” he yells, before zigzagging through the crowd, possibly to the restroom. He is on his third cocktail, and you’d think cocktails are lighter drinks. But in this bar, their taps just seem to flow with tequila, and it is very evident in the way Jin is currently walking.

His absence hits you harder than you think, but it might be the alcohol talking. Jin has always been the mood-maker of the group, the one who brings everyone together. Of late though, his magnetic persona has been an irritant in your life. Any outing you two take, any chance you have to come clean about the burgeoning crush you have on him, is effectively disrupted by one of his posse. And today, Hoseok and Yeji took that trophy. 

“Earth to Y/N. Has the cocktail finally broken you?”

You flutter your eyes in a manic fashion, to disperse the daydream you were indulging yourself in, and bring your attention back to the couple calling for you. Surprisingly, they have stood up, Yeji emptying the last of her neon drink. 

“What happened?”

“We are going to the club nearby, they have better stuff. And that’s code for ‘they actually add water to the drink and the surround sound doesn’t shatter your ear drum’.’” 

She isn’t wrong. The cocktails and music here are a 19-year-old frat party dream, not something the working class can digest. But you’re tired at this point, and don’t want to be smothered by someone else’s love life when your own is down the dumps.

“You guys carry on! I’ll tell Jin where you are and he’ll meet you there!”

You watch as Hoseok and Yeji lead each other to the exit, hands circling their partner’s waist. They giggle on and on, about nothing and everything, and it only hardens the emptiness you feel inside you. 

Why can’t you gather the balls to spit your feelings out? What could possibly go wrong? Yes, you may lose one of your closest friends, but is this friendship really worth the agony? The bitterness you feel when you see any couple enjoying themselves? The anger you harbor whenever Jin tells you about his dates? The heartache, when he hugs you and tells you that you’re the best thing that’s happened to him… as a friend? Is it? Your plastered brain tells you to not make any rash decisions, so you don’t, instead choosing to get up and search for your best friend. 

The corridor leading to the washrooms is dimly lit, throwing a merlot filter over your eyesight, making you squint in search of your friend. You being shitfaced does not help, and while relishing in your floating wooziness, you see Jin come out, and feelings you’ve held at bay for so long slither through your currently porous defenses. 

He has always been good-looking. He himself has said so a dozen times.

But wow.

His hair lays messily atop his beautiful face, unkempt, like a breeze of beauty swept across his mighty looks and displaced every strand, causing disarray, but even the disarray only frames his superior looks and adds to its potent charm. The black, patchy sweater hanging loose off his broad shoulders makes you feel things you shouldn’t feel as a friend. That stupid gut of yours is currently screaming, yelling for all hands on deck, trying to block all the feelings from gushing in and sending you into overdrive.

By the time you can gather yourself to stop from giving in to those dangerous thoughts, Jin has crossed the distance between you, coming close, too close. Chocolate-brown eyes peer into your soul, searching for whichever fantasy you chose to lose yourself in. His eyes flit down to notice your rumpled dress that has found its way a couple of inches above its designated spot. His gaze returns to yours, but not without a newfound hardness, an almost steely glaze over the kindness that you usually find in the chocolate pools, accentuated under the garnet lighting. 

“Hey, umm…” You beg for a reprieve, from your thoughts, from your filthy mind, from the way he is eyeing your cleavage, or just for the burning between your legs. You’re about to make some serious mistakes, you can feel it down to your bone.

You’re far too overdressed. 

You knew it when you were in the process of getting dressed, but right now, you feel it much more - you look like a shiny disco ball orbiting amidst the plethora of loose tees, leggings and flannels. Everything screams comfort, because the amount of work they’re putting into this begs for it. 

The strappy lace sundress you wear is extremely out of place, the halter-neck tie behind your neck fastened a little looser than necessary, giving your breasts the exposure they deserve, a nice valley view. Your dress skirt, adorned with pretty frills and dainty flowers, cut across your thigh to frame your petite hips. You are one floppy sun hat away from an extravagant Greek cruise - and in the moment you wish you had one to hide your face in shame. 

You’re just out here, trying to escape the zone. 

“Oh, would you look at the time, it’s tits out Tuesday already?”

Your eyes roll before Sanghoon even finishes his sentence, because you wouldn’t expect anything else from him. On the team of the set design, he is carrying a whole drapery worth of plush, mauve curtains, struggling with the slipping fabric. But apparently not struggling enough to stop him from getting his nose into your business, it seems.

“Literally not even a time you just mentioned. Can’t get one thing right.” You can’t stop yourself from stretching a hand out to feel the curtain fabric, the satiny sheets begging to be touched. Before you can though, Sanghoon moves away, not allowing you to shift the focus of the conversation.

“Don’t steer away from the facts. Your tits.”

“That’s the fact?”

“They’re out.” He bucks up, trying to point with the hand stuffed underneath all the cloth. “That’s the fact.”

“Ugh, can’t a girl dress up once in a while?” The pointed attention makes you uncomfortable, because everything he’s insinuating is true. With every passing staff member, you count a new shade of grey, interspersed with occasional blacks and greens, a stark contrast to your floral overtones. Amidst the thousand footsteps taken in your vicinity, only yours are pointed heels, echoing across the studio with every clack. But you’re a stubborn one, refusing to give in to his totally valid argument. “I just woke up early.”

“Girl.” Like light through frosted glass, he sees through your bullshit, but only partially. “You put an alarm to dress up? I have nightmares of the boss brandishing her whip and telling me to get into position, and even that doesn’t wake me up.” 

“Have you ever considered… not announcing your kinks to everyone and their sisters?”

“Ehh,” he simply shrugs, “nothing is new when you’ve serenaded your boss drunk in a karaoke bar and still managed to keep your job. Wait. Is that highlighter?”

“Stop staring into my tits!” You can’t believe you got caught, but also, who can you blame? After testing this outfit out from the crack of dawn, you decided your cleavage needed some extra help. Three YouTube tutorials and one TikTok lady - who make it look far easier than it is - down, the contouring brought out the swell of your breasts, and against the light fabric of your dress, it does look too good to be true.

Memories of that night in the bar come in billows and waves, of how enamored Jin was with the way your boobs looked at that time. Even under the dingy lighting, in the cramped space, under heavily inebriated scrutiny, you couldn’t miss the flicker of heat in his gaze every time it passed your chest. 

One thing led to another, and it was a cascade none of you could stop. The heat of attraction between you two does not help your wandering mind, and the fever drowns the knowledge that what you’re feeling is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, crossing some lines that can never be mended back again. With the proximity, his musky scent invades whatever defenses you were trying to patch, piercing through all your inhibitions and you pull him into you, claiming his lips to be yours. 

With his wobbly knees and your wobbly heels, you somehow find your way to the washroom - mostly he does, you give in halfway to wrap your legs around his lean waist, his sturdy legs balancing your weight on them as your back hits the wall, and his lips tear down your walls. 

“You look so fucking sexy today,” between bated breaths and indulgent sighs you confess, “just driving me nuts.” Letting your hands drag along his abdomen, feeling the ups and downs of his abs, you attempt to rid him of the sweater that’s been on your hit list all night. But to your dismay, your endeavor is blocked, when Jin gathers your wrists in his palm, turning you around to bend you over on the countertop, the smooth marble chill hitting your braless chest, perking your nipples under the cold. 

“And you?” Jin bends to give your earlobe a languid lick, progressing very slow, a complete contrast to the movement of his hips as he ruts against your ass, your already short dress bunching up with every move. “You think it’s smart to have your tits torment me like this?” Grabbing a handful from behind, he tests the weight of each fleshy mound, and by now you are certain your perked nubs can pierce his palm. 

His free hand, not yet torturing you, decides to get in on the action and disappears under the counter, swiftly crossing the bunched fabric of your dress, gaining easy access to your pussy. The cold touch of his pads sears against the heat of your core, finding your pleasure button and languidly fiddling with it, with no intention to cross you over the brink in sight. The only pleasure you can indulge in is the reflection of him abusing your nipples, pinching and tugging them down, whispering filthy words into your ear as he takes in your fucked out countenance. 

You feel lacking, weak hands balancing your dizzy self, finding purchase to keep you upright - but you’re both drunk on alcohol and hypnotized by his beauty to do much more than stare at his mirrored counterpart. “For fuck’s sake, kiss me.” 

How he understood your slurred words, you don’t know, but you are glad he did. In a moment you’ve been displaced, the hurried motion sending your neurons into a flurry. Once your back meets the hard marble, and your eyes have the privilege to see his, you pull him in closer, the force enough to hold you against the wall while your legs wrap around his lean waist. 

Originally not a fan of drunken misadventures, that side of yours is strangely mute to the going current onslaught. Well, you don’t have much breath left to say anything, because Jin is efficiently stealing it all, his teeth clashing with yours as you engage in the messiest kiss ever known to mankind (or at least, to you). He changes pace often, dragging his tongue leisurely against your lower lip, conveying tacit words, just to switch it up with a sharp bite and reel you in. 

One corner of your senses can feel his fingers messing around your cunt, and playing with the wetness your thong can barely contain. It makes you shudder, the damage that his fingers can cause solely circling around your hole. 

“Fuck me.” 

In your drunken stupor, you don’t know if the words leave you right, but you get confirmation when his long fingers finally penetrate your cunt, giving your walls something to clench on - although nothing could possibly compare to what you imagine you can get from his dick.

“God, you feel that grip,” he grunts, with two of his fingers in you, and Jin’s smile is the most sinister you’ve ever seen. “I think we should take this home,” is what his lips utter, but his fingers delve deeper, searching for the spot that crumbles you. The base of his palm grinds against your throbbing clit, and you are forced to bite down on this sweater, lest an embarrassingly loud moan escapes you and cues outsiders into your filthy doings. 

“Now,” you half-hiss, half-growl as you grab the cusp of his legs to feel his half-hard erection grow under the pressure of your hand. Your palm sliters up just to go down again, this time without the blockade of his pants, but you are stopped short of success when Jin’s fingers slip out of you to give you a sharp swat. 

“Stubborn, aren’t we? Can’t fucking wait,” he whispers into your ear, and as he envelops your lobe with his cushiony lips, he continues, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

No, no, no. 

Your brain rejects logic, chews and spits it out before any of the rationale seeps into you. You have wanted this for far too long. The need inside you for a meaningful relationship materializes in the form of recklessness, desperately looking for surface-level relief for the moment. A night of sewing sutures to your battle-worn heart, stitches that may come off at the slightest strain - but right now, that will do. 

“Please, Jin,” your tantalizing tone riles up his cock again, eagerly waiting for your next words, “can’t you feel me dripping? Come on, I can take you.”

“Fuck, hear that wetness.” He lets his palm slap against your sopping entrance, not stopping with one. With every slap, droplets of your arousal splash out, the insides of your thighs coated in the sticky sweetness, but your body is an endless reservoir producing plentiful more for Jin to play with. “Have you been sitting with this all this time?”

Two long fingers invade your channel again, leaving you with no response other than a gasp. They scissor incessantly, preparing you for what could be the railing of your lifetime. One curl inside and his fingertips hit the spot he was looking for, making you warp your body to take the pleasure coursing through your veins. His tongue seems to mimic the actions, looping around your earlobe as he sucks it inside, both ends of your body engulfed in all the attention he could provide. 

Your cunt is weeping against the assault of this man’s hands, tears of your cum flowing down your legs with every pump of his arm. You are getting there, the sweet swell of release inching closer and closer.

But something doesn’t feel right.

The tightness in your belly, that is to a point caused by Jin, is harboring other sensations that are not entirely pleasant. Maybe you’re anxious about the happenings. Maybe you haven’t had a good orgasm in a while and have just forgotten how this thing works.

Or maybe, the bar should have the water tap actually give out water.

Either your eyes close, or your brain does, but suddenly all you can see is darkness.

 Again, you are just trying to escape the zone.

“Step under those studio lights,” pointing at the too-bright stage lights being set up at the moment, Sanghoon continues, breaking your daydream, “I bet you could signal to aliens with the booby-reflection. Call them to Netflix and chill.”

“In about five seconds, my heel will be puncturing your eye. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!” 

Sanghoon’s drivel was cut short, and so were your murder plans, with his entry. “Oh look, he’s on set. Gotta go!” 

It’s like the lights, earlier threatening to burn away your skin, dim down in reverence of the glow of his face. The twinkle of his eyes when they meet yours. The shine of his smile when he throws you one. The vibrance of his tone when he calls out your name. Everything he does now threatens to burn you whole and it’s a wonder you’re not scalding, but the singe hurts you deep inside.

“Y/N! How do I look?” It’s a bathrobe. Like satin, or silk. Fucking hell, your brain could explode with the adjectives coming up, a whole chunk of them very much inappropriate to utter out in the current scene. Your arms want to rise, engulf him into you, and you have to physically halt the muscles from doing anything stupid. Brain, quick! Say something snarky and spicy, as best friends do!

“What’s the theme, unicorn puke?” The safest way to deflect is to attack. So you do just that. “You look like you dressed out of Hannah Montana’s closet. Which if it's true, I really need to see it. There’s a top that I’ve been eyeing for decades!”

“Don’t say decades.” Jin’s eyes crinkle in humor. “Makes me feel so old. Your dress is pretty cool too!” 

Cool.

You find out how difficult life can be when you count every single minute of yours. So far, you have counted 4,310 minutes. That is two days, twenty-three hours, and fifty minutes. Ten more minutes and it will be three whole days since you and Jin spoke. 

Yet again, you can’t blame him. When you came to the next day, you were in your bed, clad in the same shimmering silver bodycon that you had donned last night. The same one that had been privy to the colorful deeds you had committed in what was a dreary, colorless setting. 

One ibuProfen and ginger ale, downed with some severe recollections of the previous night, and you had been ready to throw it all up again. 

I don’t want to hurt you.

Words couldn’t describe what you were going through, and numbers weren’t invented to count the endless thoughts racing in your brain. You don’t know what is more upsetting. The fact that you actually had a chance to open your heart and you totally let your pussy think instead? Or that he was the one coherent enough to stop you from getting too far, and you let your desperation get the best of you? Everything about that night was wrong. And all the wrongs lie on your side. 

I don’t want to hurt you.

In the moment, it was physical, he had to have meant that. But there was a tremor in his voice, you can remember clear as day, a slightly shaken side of him had emerged through the intoxication, and the words he had breathed were not shallow. There was a gravity to them, that you’d stupidly ignored in the heat of the moment.

And now, here you are. Counting up till the last minute, after which you can effectively call the friendship ruined. Stirring your tea mindlessly, you try to focus on the show on TV, the variety show comedy not striking the usual funny bones that they could 4,311 minutes ago. 

The programmed ding of your phone bursts your thought bubble, a sound you have missed the past 72 hours. The ring you dedicated to Jin, that always had you running to receive because anything he sends brightens your day. But unlike those happier times, this ring has your gut fall into a pit of despair, struggling to choose between dispersing the suspense or remaining blissfully unaware of the damage you caused.

Jin: Free tmrw? We could grab coffee Jin: And talk

Talk. How? You barely remember what went down, save for fleeting moments that you recollected with great difficulty. Your fingers type back, trying to mimic the nonchalance in his text, that is very much absent in your actual demeanor.

Y/N: Sure. Paik’s at 1? Jin: Yup. See ya

Three texts, zero laughs. Of course, you’re not expecting him to land his jokes in this situation, even someone as talented as he can’t flip this tension. You’re just going to have to wait for tomorrow, when he decides whether you have a place in his life or not. 

The painstakingly worn outfit, accessorizing the whole look, the straps of your heels digging into your toes, the specks of makeup dust lying stale on your collar bones, the shine faints at that word. Cool. A perfectly normal phrase for a normal friendship. You are left maimed, while he absent-mindedly tends to the rope of his robe, blissfully unaware of the cyclonic emotions churning inside you. All you can possibly do is gulp it down. 

He runs his hands through his hair, beautiful locks coming out of place, and from one corner of the set, a groan of anguish emerges. 

“Oppa! Don’t play with your hair and face.” A masked lady runs forward waving combs that look like artillery, “We just got done setting it!”

Some finger guns, a happy apology, and some silly jokes later, all the stylists merrily round up to undo his doing, and Jin signals to you to catch up later. And as he walks away, the strings tugging at your heart reappear, as they do every time you come to meet him.

You have a masochistic streak in you, putting yourself through this every day, when he had made it clear, that you two never stood a chance. 

As if things aren’t already difficult, he looks like a dream. 

Soft, snowy skin gleaming like it has personal lighting wherever it goes, you get flashes of the rarely witnessed sweat on his skin, from the ferocity of last night. He’s blowing away the foam of his cappuccino, and tiny bubbles float into the air before falling flat on the table, like an animated shine that follows him along. God has His favorites, and God makes sure all the lighting in the world is perfect for these favorites. 

In no hurry, you wait at the counter to get your latte. After receiving it though, you can’t linger any longer and drag yourself to the table of doom.

“Hey.”

If the rasp in your voice is evident, he doesn’t show any recognition on his face. But you’ve learned to never trust an acting major. 

“Hi. How are you doing?”

Inadvertently, a snicker escapes your lips. “Are you interviewing me for a job?” you joke, trying to disperse the heavy air, filled with unspoken words. “If so, at least know that I’m very expensive.”

The familiar windshield wiper laugh does not greet you. Dead silence does. The half-smirk he painfully gives you is heavy, and the furrowed brows haven’t an inkling of joy. It shoots daggers in your heart, to know that you are the reason for this jolly man’s despondency. 

“Listen, I don’t think we should skirt around the issue too much. It happened, these things happen. You think Hoseok and Yeji didn’t have sex before making it official?”

His matter-of-fact nature isn’t new to you. Jin has always been a very practical man. Regardless of his inane sense of humor, his logical point of view has always been flawless. 

But right now, at this very moment, logic isn’t what you are looking for. You are looking for answers, but as far withdrawn from logic as possible, to take the edge off of the tension-laden air that surrounds your table.

“Yeah, but even… unofficially… we aren’t a thing, right?” 

Your abrupt question takes Jin unaware, almond eyes widening, like a toddler caught in an act. 

“No, no! Of course not! I would never!” 

His confession slips out with an ease that hurts you, digs deep to carve out the part of you that dreamt of anything more. Your eyes fall to your knees to avoid his perceptive gaze, the sting clear as the sky on a summer day. 

You force a smile and continue. “Then there’s no issue. Anyway,” you gulp your coffee down, burning your throat, but it's a distraction from the burning inside, “I need to get to work. Anything else?”

He’s still searching you, for what, you can’t possibly fathom. From the looks of it, he should be happy with this homeostasis; he doesn’t even know what this means for you. To still stay suspended in limbo, not being able to move up or down, to continue having thorns digging into your beating soul as you watch him like nothing bothers your already frail feelings. Scene by scene, you can visualize the future, him distancing himself from you as he finds the one he calls his, with you left in the shadows. Your knees tremble in fear of the impending future.

Seeing you in a tizzy, he calls out, the voice too loud for the cafe and your mind’s prison cage. 

“We’re still best friends, right?” If you knew better, you’d say his expression is that of sadness, of regret. But your judgment is clouded with your own bothers, and you interpret it as a look of pity. Like a lovesick puppy, kicked to the streets, with nowhere to call home. 

“Yeah! Always.” You give it as much enthusiasm as you can muster. 

Best friends.

Ropes wind around your heart, tugging and causing the deep ache that sets in as you walk back into your dreary building. Each string pulls you into a different dimension where you could move on, where you could be okay with the setting you had just agreed to. Where you would keep up your end of the promise and truly remain friends with him.

But no matter how strong the tug, your heart never yields, never lets go of the castle of dreams you built, staying steadfast in its own misery, choosing to hope, choosing to live the life of unrequited love.

“And that’s a wrap! Good job everyone!”

Applause and hurrays echo across the set to bring you back to the present. The shoot has officially concluded, which means it's time for your most favorite and least favorite part of the day - Jin and you doing best friend things, like grabbing lunch, gossiping about obnoxious coworkers, threatening to disembowel each other (in Mortal Kombat, of course) and other friendly activities. 

Ever so respectful, Jin takes his time thanking every member of the set, regardless of whether they moved a cushion or held the reflector screen for hours. All the women gush over his beauty, reminding him of how, even amidst the glowing ornaments, his face was the brightest. His responses vary, from quiet little giggles, to complimenting the crew for making it happen, to straight up owning his charisma like a boss. That’s your man. 

Well, not quite. Not one bit.

After exhausting the handshakes and hugs to be received, Jin walks to you, hands pushing his robe back to give it a cape like effect. You’re just glad that the man’s child persona still stays with him, no matter the situation.  He guides you to his green room, cracking his bones on the way, (very sexily, might you add).

“Holding a pose for that long gives me cramps! You’d think dancing breaks my back, and you’d be wrong.”

You’re desperately avoiding looking at his fingers, and keep your eyes below them - shoot! His ceaseless stretching gives you a glimpse under his shirt - it is dragging your memories back to the last time you saw them, and you’d rather not. It is hurting you in more ways than one. 

Eye contact is your safest bet. Looking up, you give him a lopsided grin. “Your grandfatherly days are approaching, Jinnie.” 

“Hey!” 

The rest of the conversation was less speaking, more yelling and chasing after each other to the green room, Jin taking mock-offence at your jab at his age, and his fingers reaching out to flick your forehead in retort. In your noisy, messy fashion, you both finally enter the room, dim gold light bulbs and shiny mirrors meeting your huffing self. 

One hand on your knee, you hold on to Jin’s arm with your other, gasping for breath. 

“Your grandmotherly days are already here, Y/N,” he snorts, and earns a kick on the shin, but that doesn’t stop him from bursting into snickers.

“Wow, why does one man need 4 mirrors?” You gape at his current green room, mouth wide open. It looks better than your entire apartment, with the counter carrying top-of-the-line makeup products. Only the best for this man. “So you can admire yourself from 4 different angles?”

Jin has disappeared into one of the inner rooms, but you can hear him snort at your comment. “Come on, I’m not that conceited. When the whole crew shoots together, the extra mirrors help.” The last part of that sentence is muffled, and that cues you into an important fact. 

Jin is currently changing into something more comfortable.

A process that includes him getting naked.

Well maybe he doesn’t get fully naked, top on, top off, bottom on, bottom of-

Still. You’re sweating like a whore in church. 

And things only get tougher when he finally comes out. 

The ocean blue sweater he dons is tucked in. Who tucks in sweaters? Kim Seokjin. Why does he tuck sweaters? Oh, because he’s got an amazing waistline that he should most definitely show off, and the heat between your thighs becoming increasingly potent is a testament to that. You pretend to adjust your heels, giving the right expressions to show you’re in pain, but in actuality you are bringing your legs closer to get you some relief, just any relief. 

Ripped jeans too. You get a peek of the thighs you were denied access to the night of the fuckening. Ridged and beautiful, not a speck in sight to mar his perfection. You are glad the facial expressions for pain and pleasure are not far apart, because your thighs, albeit very lacking, are helping the imagery in your head. Just Jin, seated on one of these leather chairs, and you straddling his thigh, clit aching against the strands of the rips in his denim, the fabric soaking up the wetness, with every push forwa-

“Now that you mention it, I do look dashing.”

And there goes that dream. 

You pinch his cheeks in adoration, the vulgarity of your thoughts getting whitewashed by his silliness and blooming heart-shaped flowers in their stance. You feel your own pinch in you, wondering if this scene would be the same had you blurted your feelings out that day at the cafe.

It's times like these when you remind yourself why you choose to quieten that side. This dynamic cannot reincarnate in any other form. Any imbalance to this equilibrium could cause a serious case of best-friends-turn-awkward-acquaintances, and you don’t know if that’ll hurt you more than you currently do. You don’t plan on finding out.

But on God, he tests that resolution every single day.

Jin doesn’t even hint that he knows of the turmoil blasting behind your eyes. He nonchalantly fixes his hair, gives you a one-over as you are mentally undressing him, nonchalantly as well. Then he moves to grab his cologne, and two spurts disintegrates all the whitewashing and takes you back into the obscenities you were unfolding. 

“So I’ll just go over the shoot photos, and then we can leave! You’re cool waiting here?”

“Hmmn, yeah!” You don’t let your mouth run any longer, fearing what might slip out. 

He gives you a wide, innocent smile. “Great! See you in a bit.” Poor guy. If only he knew how debase plans you were conjuring just from the aroma of his cologne. 

It is musky, like cedar or pine, perfectly suiting him. It is the same scent you remember inhaling, face stuffed in his sweater when he was fingering you to the tenth circle of hell. As he walks away, the fragrance diminishes, save for the slightest hint of lingering. You search for the source, and find the culprit strewn across the sofa.

The outfit Jin wore for the shoot held remnants of the perfume, and when you bring the shirt close and take a long, deep whiff, you transport yourself to the land of your dreams. You relish the fever smell of his cologne, mixed with his own natural scent, deciding that this is what you wish to smell like every waking morning.

Your longing for him has crossed way beyond physical boundaries. You longed for his love, longed for his attention. Longed to be the one that brings the light to his face. From morning rays to the darkness of the night, you wanted to experience it all by his side. To be his lone star, shining bright beside the moon. 

Your hands are moving without your control, disrobing you of your thirst trap of a dress and putting on Jin’s shirt instead. One look at the mirror and you let out a silent groan - it fits you just right. Just enough to cover your ass cheeks, loose enough to let the air conditioning hit your heated pussy. While well-fitting shirts have never been the cornerstone of a successful relationship, your delusional mind takes whatever wins it gets.

Adding layers to your pipe dream, you don the robe that gave you a tough time throughout the shoot. When you press the tails of the robe to your cheek, the softness of the material is soothing. Soft, like Jin’s eyes, like his hugs, like his smile. Like him.

Leaning against the counter, you steady yourself, mind split in titillation. Your fingers find their own path, drawing circles on your breasts over his shirt, imagining Jin’s long fingers in place. While teasing your nipple to pointed peaks, you slip your other hand under your panties, trying very hard to mimic his digits, twiddling your clit between your fingers. Alas, the effect isn’t achievable, because Jin seems to know how to play you better than yourself. 

The scent is getting stronger, without any provoking, and it is doing wonders for your immersion. You let out a loud moan when your fingers press inside, and you’re just glad no one can witness this.

“Y-Y/N?”

Fuck.

You are pulled away from your dreamland that was so impenetrable that you didn’t hear Jin step into the room. All the blood gushing to your nether regions has made a U-turn to flood your brain to think of a plausible explanation for this position. Instead it makes you giddy, and when you try to stand you wobble in your heels, to be rescued by what you think is a very scandalized Jin. 

Time stands still when your eyes meet, and what you see are blown out pupils trembling, many questions fluttering between you two. Jin crosses a tenth of the distance between you, lips flutter as they try to make a decision - do they want to part and give way to the voice of question? The voice of reason? The voice that will break this hush, burst this bubble where he has the one chance to give in to his longing?

You bring your lips closer, and cause immense disquiet in his dome, the way of his heart gathering speed against rationale. Your eyes dance between matching his gaze and finding his lips, every fraction of an inch you cross sending tremors through you. You can feel the shockwaves traverse through your body, making a pitstop at your lips, tingling them awake. They move downwards, passing your heart, beating it wildly against its cage, and then to the pit of your stomach to tighten in anticipation; finally reaching the tip of your toes, where you stand right now, a nanoscopic distance between you. Each one of you is afraid to cross the bridge, unaware of the other’s desires. 

Finally, Jin acqueises and meets you on your side. 

Atomic explosions ring through your head, clearing out every single thought that is not about Jin’s lips on yours. The ropes that held your heart from beating to the tune of your want, they’ve loosened their knots to give you the leeway to love freely. As your lips exchange positions, his teeth lightly drag across your plush petal, and it brings back the most important part of that night that you couldn’t recollect - the one where his lips sang wordless songs of adoration against yours. Blind as a bat, you were.

You dig your fingers into his hair, not minding your residual arousal coating his locks, and you feel his hands doing the same to you. With your eyes closed, you feel a rough edge to his cushiony soft lips, but Jin fixes that mistake - one stray strand of hair trapped in the middle of your indulgence - he pulls it away to give you all of the kiss. The hand tucked in your tresses pushes in, silently demanding more access, and you’re nothing but ready to give it.  

His tongue sneaks in to play a game with yours - when you seek it, it goes into hiding, finding perfect pleasure in soft, sweet kisses, but when you stay, it comes back in, awakening your tongue to deepen again. Everything he is doing is too much and not enough in one go, and you whine into his mouth in desperation, seeking some well-earned relief after months of holding back.

Amidst the flurry of your lips, your back hits the vanity countertop, and Jin pushes away everything on top to make space for you, not caring what expensive item flies down the counter to accommodate your ass.

As if you’ve made up for the months of holding back, the softness of the kisses erodes, teeth coming into play more and more, reminiscent of the night that went by in a blur. He swallows every mewl you give in return, blissed out beyond repair, your neediness making his cock strain against the denim. 

His hand snakes down, spreading his fingers to get a hold of your back to push you towards him, covering any gap that dared to intervene. Now unworried about the shoot, your hands have effectively ruined his perfectly placed locks and messed them up to resemble the craze he let you spin in.

Before he can glide his tongue back in, you break the kiss, lest you lose yourself in it to the point where you forget to breathe. With attached foreheads, you take deep drags of air, letting the oxygen flow to your brain before you make some ill-advised, unclarified decisions.

“I- I was jus-”

“Shhh. Wait,” he breathes out, wanting to take a second and fully savor the moment. You nod in return, making his head move along with yours.

After sufficient air fills his lungs, Jin starts. “Y/N, we should stop.”

Last time this had happened, you had tried to force your way through his barrier, without giving his feelings a second of consideration. So this time, you don’t repeat your mistakes. “Tell me why.”

“Because, I don’t know what you’re looking for, but I’m way deeper in this than you think.”

“Jin, I-”

“Let me finish.” He stops you before you can explain how much you reflect his emotions, possibly more. He doesn’t seem to want to listen now. “Let me finish, or else I’ll chicken out, for the millionth time.”

You’re dumbfounded. Millionth time? When was the first? Acting majors, by God. 

“I love you, Y/N.”

No, now you are dumbfounded. Your hands, holding his precious locks, drop down in shock, at sheer disbelief that all this time, he has been ready and waiting to return you the favor. Jin though, misinterprets it as a look of disdain. 

“I-I know I do, and I’m sorry that I do. I know you don’t feel the same way. You can hate me all you want, but this is the truth.”

“And yes,” he continues, refusing to halt for even half a second, afraid that the courage he mustered to confess would dissipate the moment he does, “I’m attracted to you, and I don’t know what went down here --” flicking his wrist to mention your (his) outfit, “--but I’m looking, okay? And I’m hard as fuck. But that’s not all there is to it.”

“I need all of you.” He takes an audible gulp, trying to stymy his emotions from overpowering him. “I want to take you out, I want to hold you hand, I want to bring you to all the places I love. I want to introduce you to people, not as my best friend, but so much more than that. It hurts me,” bringing his hand to his chest, he emphasizes the point of pain by clutching over his heart, “hurts to call you that because I’m lying through my fucking teeth.”

You break eye contact, because there are tears smarting your eyes at his heartfelt revelation. You can’t believe the idiot that you have been all this while. The man of your dreams stands in front of you, baring his soul, and you can’t even do him the decency of telling him what you felt yourself before jumping his bones.

And you love him, too. Maybe you haven’t said so, even to yourself, but you’ve known all this while.

You love him.

“If you are just looking for a fuck, or want any sort of a ‘benefits’ situation, we should stop. I can’t lie to myself anymore.”

“Jin, my God,” you half-sigh, half-laugh, feeling a burden lift off of you after months of pining.

“You don’t have to pacify me, it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” Even in this moment, he is looking out for you. His lips are curved upward to show you that he’s okay, but his pupils are shaky and restless, not in sync with his smile. You hope your next words can fix that for him.

“Pacify you? Hate you?” You shoot him an incredulous look, one you will explain to him very soon. “You are a much better person than I am, Jinnie. For months now, I’ve loved you, but even at this point, I didn’t stop to tell you.” The guilt of letting your hormones cloud your judgement for the second time lays heavily on your conscience. “I’m sorry for not making this clear earlier, but let me now. I love you, Kim Seokjin. I have for way too long. I want you, I need you. You have me, in every possible way.”

It feels unparalleled to get that off your chest. The leaden weight of your emotions immediately disappears - or the fact that it's shared, makes it much, much lighter. But then you look at Jin, and he still seems to have not put two and two together. You patiently wait for him to process all the information. 

When he finally recoups, he yells, “What?!”

You let out a loud guffaw, the first one with no inhibitions in the longest time. “What?”

“Why didn’t you say anything that day at the cafe?!” 

“You said you’d never date me, asshole!” You punch his chest softly, before slipping your hands behind him and pulling him closer. “I might not look like it, but I have some dignity.”

“I said that?” Jin brings one hand to pinch his nose in annoyance. “What an idiot. I think I was just inverting everything to make sure I don’t accidentally slip up.”

You lift your head to meet his eyes again, letting him see the tears you were hiding. You find a couple in his eyes, too. But the smile on your face is genuine, and that is all that matters. “I was blind too, so don’t beat yourself up about it.” 

Flitting your eyes down to find the contour of his cock against his jeans, you ask him innocently, “How about we make up for lost time?”

“Fuck, yes, please.” And with that, your lips are engulfed again.

When you have all your guards down, the kiss tastes sweeter than before. Mere moments ago, while thoroughly enjoying the kiss, a sense of reticence had clouded your pleasure, holding you back from luxuriating in the headiness. A series of what-ifs had plagued your subconscious without your realization, but with all that cleared, you wholly submit to the kiss, emptying your mind until nothing but his name remains.

“Fuck, Y/N,” Jin gasps out, when you bite into his pillowy lower lip, “I thought you looked the prettiest in the dress earlier but,” after pulling away, he drinks your current attire in, “you look the most beautiful in this.”

You snicker. “Even more than World Wide Handsome?”

His eyes bore into yours, no hint of the joking lilt he always carries in them. 

“So much more.”

Your hands find their place amidst his shaggy hair again, and you lodge his face into your neck - a command Jin acquiesces to with great pleasure. After a long, wet lick to your collarbone, he lays feather-soft kisses on the trail he left, starting from your shoulder and working inward, until he brushes against the back of your ear. You grasp at his sweater, because his lips feel so good. Your breaths are short, sucking in every time he allows your skin the luxury of a soft peck.  Once he lays a kiss on your forehead, he brings his gaze down to one of the main reasons that causes his cock to stir.

“Fuck, look at your nipples under my shirt.”

Gazing down, you can see the two pointed peaks that caught Jin’s eyes. 

“That tends to happen when I’m thinking of you.” 

He twists a nipple over the shirt, hardening it further, and you throw your head back in the satisfying pain. “Yeah, I remember.”

You are unraveling every second, the ache swishing amongst the bliss his fingers are bringing in you. He’s switched over to drawing circles around your nipple, until he snaps and tugs your shirt up, finally revealing the palmfulls of flesh awaiting his hands. 

“Ah that night, I didn’t get to do this. Take this off.” But then, he makes you put on his robe again. You throw him a questioning look, to which he responds with a sheepish smile, “Just so, you know… you don’t feel cold… or something.”

“Just say you like me in your clothes and move on.”

“I love you in my clothes,” he admits in a heartbeat, his expression that of anguish, “can we move on?”

“God, gladly.”

Unexpectedly, he bites the side of your boob - not hard at all, but feeling his teeth against your skin sends your head reeling backward. Your involuntary response is to wrap your legs around his waist, grinding your core against him. His teeth continue to nip you lightly across the expanse of your breasts, the trail of saliva he leaves cooling parts of your flushed body. Finally, finally, he latches onto your left nipple and gives it a long, pleasurable suck.

“Ahh, Jin - you’re too - God damn it - you’re too good at this.” 

Without stopping the onslaught he is unleashing on your breasts, his fingers begin to move - but soon, they stop, hesitation rippling off of their tips. His pace falters, and his mind is fighting on the next course of action.

“Can I-”

“Finish what you started that night?” you complete for him, already prepared with your answer. “Yes, please.”

All forms of uncertainty shoot out of his touch, and he confidently trudges forward. Playing with the band of your panties, he gives you a well-intended chuckle, murmuring, “As far as I remember, I was so good you passed out.”

“Boy,” You groan, intended in jest, but his teeth slide against your jaw and it mostly comes out more wanton than jovial, “let me see you have tequila for dinner and remember much the next day.”

“Fair fair,” he gives in, shifting to buss the valley of your cleavage, feeling your heart thud against your ribs holding it in place. “Well today,” he starts without moving his face, his nimble fingers moving past the barrier of your underwear, pressing two fingertips directly on your clit, and hissing like it's him at the receiving end, “I’ll give you enough to remember.”

You pull his sweater off and chuck it away, not wanting to be reminded of any blockades that kept you apart, and your hands roam the expanse of his back remembering the touch of his skin from the night at the bar. His body isn’t new to you, but the circumstances make it feel different. 

Finally, his fingers find their way inside you. 

Yes, this. This was what was missing from your drunken tryst. With your heads in place, your ardor intensifies, and you move his lips back to yours needing to release your animalistic desire into his mouth. Pleasure surges through both of you as you threaten to swallow him whole.

You can feel him being more present, and considering the merciless finger-fucking you had earned that night, this is taking it to a whole other degree. 

The night at the bar, his fingers did their best to ravish you, but now, Jin is paying attention, close attention to the way you respond. Every muscle movement is recorded in him as you struggle to accommodate three of his lengthy digits. Leaning close, he gives your peaked nipple the lightest feather lick - the suddenness sends shockwaves through you as he continues to tweeze the other, talented pianist hands performing his musical piece on both ends of you.

His fingers pump into you with determination, finding new depths to explore that he missed out on, and with a curl of his pointer, you blank out, screaming in the orgasm that is washing over you. Every skincell of your body feels the quiver of lust spreading, your cunt squeezing for an eternity, milking the orgasm out to the extent that you can. 

When you look down, your metaphorical orgasmic flood manifestes as a deluge of your arousal leaking on the table. And when you look back up, you can see the salacious ideas making their rounds in Jin’s head as he looks at the inundation you released. 

Hurried hands still convulsing from the intensity of your orgasm, you undo his belt, followed by his jeans and finally - getting the pleasure you were heartlessly denied of - his cock is out, in all its glory, twitching as the cool air hits its naked skin. Jin’s plans don’t go hand in hand with yours though.

“Are we just - holy fucking shit - just, umm, leave that to waste?” he lustfully looks down to your leaking core, and someway, through your hold on his dick, he tries to steer you into his plans.

“I don’t know about that,” you cheekily reply. You have the right idea to satisfy both of you, and get down to the task.

With the flat of your palm, you swipe across the droplets of cum you released, gathering them to transfer them onto his thick length. Jin thrusts into your hand, the wetness jolting him into attention, and he places an arm on your shoulder to steady himself. 

“You’re going to taste yourself?” he asks as you continue your vacillating motion, twisting at the base of his head with the wetness you graciously provided yourself. You give him a nonchalant look, something he is trying to do to you as well. 

“Who said I’m gonna suck you off?”

His look changes, and the one you get in return is cocky, arrogant, downright rude if you were honest. You expected him to play on with your banter, but one raised eyebrow and the lazy smirk he gives, to what he probably thinks is a joke - Zeus could land on earth and not be able to stop you from gobbling his meat. 

Your mouth is filled with his dick even before your knees hit the ground. Jin staggers back, but your suction on his dick is funnily strong enough to pull him back before falling.  You switch positions, having him balance himself against the counter, all while you refuse to leave his cock out. His giggle of endearment has you pouting, but it swells your heart and makes you want to give more, more of anything and everything. With your renewed vigor, you push yourself in until his pubes tickle your nose, and his tip tickles your throat. 

“Your-”, “I-”, “uhh-” 

Every new sentence Jin starts crumbles to your actions. You furrow your brows both in concentration on your blowing skills and trying to decode what he is trying to say. 

Jin takes a large gulp, adamant on making this one a coherent sentence. “You know, I used to imagine this, and in my dreams I used to be very sexy and suave, talking my way throug-oof-” You run your tongue over the tip of his leaking dick, emphasizing the point he is coming to, “Now I can’t even complete sentences here.”

“You being you is super sexy in itself.” And you curve your tongue to match the arch of his cock, letting the incoming saliva pool on it before letting it run down his shaft, dripping down from his balls. Strings of his precum connect to your lips, and you swipe your tongue through them, relishing the salty goodness before going back in for more. 

“Y/N, shit, did you just moan?”

How couldn’t you? The fact that he is horny for you, so much so that rivulets of precum don’t stop drizzling down your throat, has you preening. You hum your assent in response, not willing to let go even for a moment, but Jin pulls you off before you can get a chokehold on the base of his cock again. 

“Never had a woman moan while sucking me off. It’s sexy as fuck,” Jin breathes into your lips as he dives in for a kiss.

Your chest is heaving, catching the breaths you lost when you were down. “Then why’d you stop me?”

“Are you kidding me? I was about to lose it right there.”

“Jinnie, come on,” you break the fragmentary kiss you were sharing, looking into his glassy eyes, “let me feel you come on my tongue.” To emphasize your conviction, you lick his lips, persuading him of the sinful deeds your tongue is capable of doing if he’d just let you.

“Oh man, stop. What’s worse than busting a nut in your mouth? Busting it while you’re kissing me. Making me feel like a teenager.” You erupt into a loud laugh, soon followed by Jin as well. It is so him to joke about this. 

“And babe,” all hints of embarrassment vanishing from his tone, “I’m only going to come inside you.”

“Fuck, fuck, yes. You got a condom on you?”

“Yeah, let me grab my wallet.” The instant he moves away, you feel naked, shivering from the comfort stolen away from you. But then you hear Jin grumble, “I hope I don’t have the bacon-flavored one.” And the absurdity of it all puts you at ease again.

“Ew, stop, even you can’t make that sexy. My lady boner is dying.”

He envelops you again, and you can feel the laughter echoing in his lungs before making it out to your ears. He brings your attention to the familiar rustle of foil wrapper. “Thankfully, we got chocolate.”

“Mmmh, gotta love chocolate.”

You take the condom out of his hands, and roll it onto his stiff length, flattered that he’s holding his erection for so long. 

“Okay, stick it in me!” And you smack your ass in readiness, and a very flabbergasted Jin breaks out chortling.

“Y/N, stop being my best friend for like, five minutes!” His brows are furrowed in pretense exasperation, but you can see his lips holding back a genuine smile through the grimace, just happy that your dynamics haven’t changed the slightest, even though everything else has shifted.

“Okay okay,” you try and suppress your own laughter, before continuing, “how do you want me, baby?”

“Bend over on the vanity. And keep your eyes on the mirror.” And as you move into position, his palms grab your ass and squeeze it hard, feeling your glutes push back against his grip, and he pushes you forward till you're on the tips of your toes. You watch him through the mirror, watch him admire the way your ass curves over the table edge, how your toes struggle to keep you up, and how the dimples of your back are deepened by the arch, peeking under the bunched up robe tails, just waiting for him.

“Jin.” Your hushed whisper puts him in action.

Pushing the head in is anguish and relief at the same time. His bulbous head stretches your entrance; even with your preparation, you feel it sting. The searing gets better and better with every inch slipping in, and when he finally lodges inside, you let out a heavy breath, still panting and keeping yourself from screaming bloody murder in pleasure. Jin bends forward to paint the back of your neck, sucking the flesh till the circular bruise comes to surface. 

“Can you- can you-fuck, no, wait-” Your brain is at war with itself, battling between adjusting to his girth and having him pump you into adjustment. 

You can feel Jin’s snicker from behind you, and he finally makes the decision for you. “I’ll wait, I have things to do here,” he says before playing around the patch of skin, spreading from the base of your hair to the expanse of your back, his teasing licks relaxing your walls and accommodating his girth. The pain is almost gone, expect for the lingering ache that only helps you.

“You can move now, babe.”

“Okay, okay.” Your words snap him out of the painter’s dream he was in, and he twitches inside you. Something about the ease at which you both have adopted nicknames for each other softens his heart and hardens his cock. 

Pulling out till only the head rests inside, Jin himself struggles against the third degree grip your pussy has on him. As he is thrusting inside again, your walls tense up, making it harder and harder for him to hold back. 

“Y/N, sweetie, relax. I got you.”

“Jin, I’m-” You have tears running down your eyes, the pleasure and unsurmountable happiness rolling out in fat hot drops. “Fuck me harder. I won’t last.”

“Shit. Okay, hold on then.”

To what? Is what you’re going to ask before Jin unleashes his carnality onto you. Your breasts, dripping in sweat and saliva, are plastered to the countertop, which in itself is jiggling to the beat of Jin’s thrusts. His dick is curving inside to hit you repeatedly, and you have to gather the satin fabric to wipe your eyes to keep your gaze fixed on him. 

He looks majestic. Forehead embellished with beads of sweat, his hair coiffed up, lips sanguine red after your vicious kisses - you swipe your tongue along your own lips to find them battered in response. His honey chest is heaving with every push, and a particular one hits you just right. 

You let out a guttural groan, and Jin takes note of it immediately. 

“Up,” he commands, and loops an arm under your belly to you pull you up and closer and now every thrust hits deeper into that spot he has found in you, your back connected to his chest as the two of you move in tandem; this is the most together you’ve ever felt with anyone. This moment is to be etched in your memories forever.

You scream into your fist to muffle the sounds, the edge of the table digging into your hip bone as you feel yourself getting closer to the brink. One swipe to the clit is all you have left to bring you to your release. 

And from some telepathic force, or from the clutch your pussy has on him, Jin beats you to it. His fingers come down and carefully find your swollen nub, pinching it between his fingers. If he thought you’d shown him your hardest clench, he was wrong, because right now your dam has broken, and the iron-clad grip you give his cock sends him reeling, too.

You are gushing on his dick, the rubber dripping with your wetness. Jin too releases into the condom in stuttered gasps, his thrusts becoming shorter and shallower as he comes down from his high. 

Petal-like kisses fall on your back as the two of you regain your breaths. The mirror that served you two well is covered in a fog of hot breath and perspiration, blearing your vision of yourself, but somehow, it sparkles with Jin’s reflection. His nobility-esque visuals use the haze as a valance for his appearance, framing them to make him look like you’re among the clouds. And in some way, you actually are.

“Ah, let me go.” You jiggle your shoulders back to make the man above you move. “Fuck, can you check if my spine is in place? I think you dislodged it.”

“Shut up and come hug me, I’ll squeeze it back in place.”

Now this is something you could get used to.

As he ties and throws away the used condom, you flip over to face him and fall back into his embrace, broad shoulders promising to protect you, making you feel safe in his care. Jin on the other hand is simply ecstatic to feel you on him, feeling your thumping heart beat for him, after months of pining and pondering whether anything would become of the seed of your tumultuous friendship. Now, it has blossomed to a garden of prospect and promise, every petal of every flower here reading a new opportunity to tell you how much he adores you, cherishes you, treasures you. How much he loves you.  An opportunity he doesn’t wait to use. 

“I love you.”

The pink tinge of your cheeks either comes from the sex, or from his comment, but either way, he is glad its from him. 

“I love you too, Jin. So, so very much.”

If your heart could leap out of your chest, it would do so, to find its way to his and fuse into one. But for now, your entwined bodies give you all you want. 

You hear Jin stifle a laugh, and pull back in question. He points to something odd on the countertop.

“What is that?”

The cream white surface of the table, that was maligned by your ignoble deeds, now sports two glistening, wheatish semi circles that look very similar to the sizes of one person who was splayed on top of it just moments ago. 

“Is that…” Jin is trying to contort his lips and halt the looming snicker, and he brings his eyes down to your chest (trying not to get hard again), “Did you have makeup on your chest?”

“Shut up.” All you can do is fall closer into his arms, hopefully masking the tint of embarrassment highlighting the apples of your cheeks. “I wanted to make them look extra good for you.”

He’s given up on holding back, the full-bellied laugh that resonated from him echoing across the room. But it dwindles down fast, coming to small chuckles of tenderness, and he slips his digits beneath your chin to have you meet his gaze.

“They always look good,” he whispers, his admittance setting your chest aflame, “trust me, I’d know.”

Taglist 💛:  @little7bitchh​, @afangirllikeme-blog​, @h34rt1lly, @marpotterhead​

Thank you so much for making it to the end! I hope you enjoyed the fic, my ask box is always open for your lovely opinions. To read more of my work, find my main masterlist here. :)

[laceymorganwrites]

Funeral Grey

Kinktober day 3: 

Pairing: Zeke x fem!reader

Word count: 2,418

Warnings: Zeke Jaeger 

A/N: ahahahha um anyways~ this got a bit personal because yeah kinda into that 

Zeke hated going clubbing. Absolutely. But he was the only driver available for the night and Pieck and Porco promised to leave him alone with it for the next month. That was good enough for him. Besides, he was too nice for his own good sometimes. It´s been an hour and he was already regretting it. Standing by the bar, drinking water and feeling so out of place he stared at his watch. 11pm. And then she walked in with her friends. Zeke wasn´t the type of guy to care about people´s looks but she just took his breath away completely, it was like somebody gut punched him. He was frozen in place and couldn´t help but stare at her. He looked like a complete idiot. Her friends moved to the dancefloor while she ordered drinks for everyone in the group. She had such a bored look on her face, Zeke couldn´t help but be enticed. Then again, who on earth went clubbing in a grey sweater? His interest peaked and that didn´t happen very often with him. She walked over to her friends and downed the shots she ordered before disappearing into the crowd to dance for a bit. His eyes didn´t leave her for a second. After a while she came by the bar again for more drinks. “You gonna stare at me all night, pretty boy?” she chuckled, leaning against the counter next to him. “Why not, I enjoy the view” he returned her smirk. “Hmm, boring” she sighed, sipping her drink. He liked the sound of her voice, but beautiful women made him weak. “So what´s your favorite color?” and stupid. She didn´t mind and just pointed at her waist. “You know, technically… that´s not a color. That´s a shade” great start, Jaeger. 

“Don´t disagree with me” she stated coldly before walking away again, drink in her hand. He didn´t even know her name but that look on her face… he never thought he´d be the submissive one but the thought of being her slave just enticed him too much. Her looking at him like that again…. telling him how pathetic and stupid he was… how he couldn´t even satisfy her enough. He gulped, his throat was dry by now and he gripped the glass of water just a bit too tight. No way in hell did he just get half hard by the woman with the most cold, distant and bored look on her face he has ever seen. That was so much more than just embarrassing. “Only hot people wear sweaters in summer” he mumbled before  staring into space. It was pathetic. It was like a fucking fever dream. One he only woke up from when Pieck and Porco wanted to go home. Luckily it wasn´t that late and he needed to cool off anyway so he quickly drove them home and made sure they wouldn´t throw up in the apartment. Thankfully they dozed off immediately, the alcohol playing its part better than he could´ve planned. He sighed, standing in the middle of the living room and contemplated all of his life choices. Would he really drive back to a club just to see a woman that probably wasn´t even there anymore? Was he really that desperate? It was sad that he didn´t even think twice before getting back into the car. What the hell was he doing? It was two AM as he entered the club again, pretending to enjoy the music and actually want to be there. He felt like such an idiot for searching for her in the crowd. It was 3AM when she walked in again, completely mesmerizing him once again. And then he realized he´d do it all over again. Just to be able to breathe the same air as her. She already looked at him like he was the most pathetic loser she knew when she came to the bar, a lit cigarette in her mouth. “You know that shit is gonna kill you, right?” he told her, immediately wanting to disappear once again. He didn´t know why she had this effect on him but he just got so stupid every time she was around. He didn´t expect her to smile at that, much less for her to blow the smoke in his face directly. “Well, now you´re gonna die too” she smirked but her eyes remained as cold as ever. Oh, he wanted to. Zeke thought he really wouldn´t mind if he died right now. Not if it was her who put him out of his misery. He didn´t want her to leave again so he tried to engage in a conversation. “Hey, do you want to have my number? Maybe we could grab a coffee sometime” he said, his hands sweaty. She looked him up and down in a look that could only be described as pity. She couldn´t hold back her laughter either. “Yeah no, I don´t date desperate guys like you” she told him. “It doesn´t even have to be a date! We can just hang out, it doesn´t even have to be that long” he was way past the point of denying the fact that he was desperate. Because he was. It would be embarrassing but it was the first time this has ever happened to him. The first time someone ever had this impact on him. “Look, I know your dying wish is to be baptized in my spit. And I might grant it if you leave me alone after, okay?” she offered, her voice devoid of any feeling. She sounded so annoyed. And all because of him. He did feel sorry for that. But he was so happy that she was talking to him. He couldn´t believe his luck. Of course he noticed that her friends were sending her pitiful looks, laughing about him and feeling sorry for both of them. Zeke smiled brightly even though he knew exactly that she was just looking right through him. “Would you really do that?” he asked, a hopeful ´for me?´ lingering in his words. He probably looked like a child experiencing his first birthday right now, his eyes so big, so full of hope when he knew that all he could find in her eyes was deep and dark despair for him and other guys like him. Zeke had always liked bathing in his own illusions. “Sure, I´ll even spit in your mouth” she said, smirking. It took her everything not to burst out in laughter on the spot. She always knew men were stupid but his level was just ridiculous. He was a pitiful creature, a loser right out of the book. The way he fidgeted with his hands, probably all clammy and sweaty from having a woman talk to him. He never once even looked at her, not when she was standing right in front of him. Apparently the floor was more appealing. He gulped, he was so nervous and for what? Nothing would ever happen between the two of them. He knew that. Was he really that desperate? In reality Zeke couldn´t wait for it, he could already feel her saliva drip down his throat. Oh he would savor it before he´d swallow. Licking his lips afterwards not to waste a single drop. It would be like an indirect kiss, better even. Something so intimate, granted from a goddess. To a nobody like him? He felt like he could ascend into heaven this instance. “Yes, yes please. I´ll do anything” there it was. The desperate and starved plea for more of her time. She had him. She only was glad to be rid of him afterwards. He´d make it for a fun story of the night to laugh about with her friends in the morning on the way to work. But that was it. They wouldn´t even remember him the day after. And they wouldn´t care to either. Losers like him existed far and wide across the world. “Cool, this´ll be the last time we see each other” she stated and he knew it. He was painfully aware of it. But this memory would live on forever in him. It was like he was chosen. He didn´t even know her name and she didn´t care to ask for his. But somehow this fact made all of this all the more special. To him only, naturally. She sighed in annoyance and pushed him down on his chair harshly, making him blush furiously. He even choked back a moan. Disgusting. She hated touching guys like him, it made her feel so icky and dirty. She wanted to avoid contact at all costs so she just told him to open his mouth already, he obeyed like a slut. It really wasn´t a big deal for her, the whole thing was over in about three seconds. She leaned over him and spat in his mouth, waiting for her saliva to drop completely before finishing her drink, returning the glass to the bar and leaving the club with her friends without ever looking back to him again. The women shared a few laughs and then never wasted another thought on the loser from that one club. 

Zeke could only describe the moment as a religious experience, as an epiphany. Touched by a goddess. He could smell her hair, she was so close to him. He even imagined her smiling at him as she spat. His eyes half lidded, he couldn´t bear to look away but the experience was godly, he had to savor every drop he could get. Because it would be the last one. It was warm in his mouth, mixing with his own saliva, a connection formed from pity and a deranged love at first sight. He felt it trickle down his lips, he let it for as long as he could before he licked his lips. Everything else became void in the second. The noise and people from the club drowned out, leaving him to his own perverse pleasure. He was hard. Painfully so. Eyes rolling back as he swallowed her spit, biting his lip to suppress a moan, he felt his jeans tightening even more. And then it all came crashing down on him. The music was blaringly loud and he saw some people look at him weirdly, a disgusted woman frowned at him, another one was chuckling, the guy next to him shook his head in disbelief. He heard someone mumble what a pathetic guy he was and honestly. They weren´t wrong. Zeke got up hurriedly and rushed to the bathroom, thankfully the club was full so nobody was paying him any mind. In his head that was the sole reason, not the fact that he was so painfully dull and boring. The kind of guy whose face you forgot instantly after meeting him. The guy whose name wasn´t worth remembering. He was almost out of breath as he closed the door of his stall, leaning against the wall. Somehow he felt dizzy. His cock was aching. Of course it was. He had to take care of it and fast. Nobody was here right now, so he opened his zipper, pushing his pants down to his knees. It was an awkward position he found himself in but then again it wasn´t something he wasn´t used to. It was quite uncomfortable, the fabric was rubbing against his skin, irritating it. There was already a wet patch forming in his briefs, he saw his cock twitch through the fabric. It was quite small so it was a miracle he could even see it this clearly. He positioned his hand above his head to steady himself as he rubbed his crotch with his other one. Zeke groaned as he laid his head back, closing his eyes to avoid looking at the filthy walls. With closed eyes he could imagine anything he wanted to. Like you. He was sure you changed his life with your interaction. He would think of this moment for years to come, when he was alone in his room at night. He didn´t get laid often. Which was surprising because he was quite attractive and he´s been told he got pitied a lot, which usually helped. But apparently he was too pathetic to be considered sexual. And somehow that turned him on. Being beneath everyone and everything. Not being regarded as a human being. The only way to interact with the goddess being an act of pure filth just for him to leave her alone. The moan that left his lips as he pulled out his throbbing cock was embarrassing, croaked and too high to be considered anything remotely sexy. He pulled off his glasses and put them in his shirt, he didn´t want them to fall down on the floor. Zeke spat in his hand, imagining the warm fluid to be yours. But he couldn´t imagine you in such a nasty place. No, he didn´t even imagine undressing and fucking you, not even kissing you. The whole time he was masturbating the scene of you spitting in his mouth was replaying in his head. It was like a prayer. He bucked his hips, immediately setting a fast pace, his thumb playing with his tip. He smeared the pre over his length and rubbed his thumb over his top almost violently. He was desperate for release, it hurt at this point. He was aching. He didn´t jerk off for his own pleasure, he got it from the disgust others regarded him with. And maybe that was just it. He hated himself too. He understood them all too well. He never looked at himself in the mirror with any positivity. No wonder he couldn´t get off just for his own pleasure. Because truly, he didn´t deserve it. He didn´t deserve a goddess spitting in his mouth either but here he was. The luckiest bastard on the planet. His moans sounded louder in the stall as they actually were but at some point he stopped caring, violently rutting into his hand, it almost hurt. But he liked it that way. His orgasm came hard and fast, taking him by surprise. He always came quickly, that was the whole point after all. He only ever jerked off to release tension, but this time he was quite worn out. His wrist was aching, his cum splattering across the wall and dripping down his hand. Zeke bathed in the sensation longer than usual, opening his eyes slowly and exhaling. As he noticed the mess he had made he hurriedly cleaned himself and the wall before dressing again and leaving the bathroom stall. He lingered around the club longer than necessary, watching it empty out and only then leaving too. It was silly but he had hoped that by miracle she would still be there, that he could stare in her beautiful, cold eyes once more.