#with less excuses given lmfao

[vtriol]

this is a vague about stuff outside my little tumblr circle here, but i wanna be really, painfully clear: i do not want people who actively enjoy or engage with jk rowling's ips around, and i also do not want people who support others engaging with those ips around either. i highly encourage you block me and move on if you fall under either category, and i mean that.

[kyriethesquishysquid]

Betrayal Never Felt So Good (König/Fem!Reader) Chapter 1

You can find Chapter 2 here, Chapter 3 here, Chapter 4 here, Chapter 5 here, and Chapter 6 here!

Summary: The reader is a military nurse currently employed by Shadow Company. She was sent out with a small team into the middle of nowhere to gain intel on the enemy, her presence only a precaution as it should have been an easy in-and-out mission. Unfortunately for the Shadow team, KorTac had also been working on a lead in the same area. One thing led to another and the reader was forced to watch as her team was slaughtered mercilessly. Rather than kill her as well, she was taken back as a hostage and kept captive by the group's colonel, König.

Word Count: ~8.5K

Rating: Mature (For Smut)

A/N: To preface this story - I’ve never played the storyline of any COD games, nor do I know a damn thing about the military, much less special forces, so there will be inaccuracies galore, but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless! My take on König is somewhere between the headcanons of him being a ruthless psycho and a shy bean. Also, don’t come at me with complaints of this not being realistic, please. This is fanfic, loves. It doesn’t have to be realistic. Plus, if I was the one captured by this tree of a man and he was interested? Morals and reality be damned. I’m hopping on that train lmfao. Also, I wrote this entire thing in less than 24 hours and was too eager to post it to do a bunch of editing, so please excuse any errors!

Important Details: Occasional use of Y/N. Reader appearance is left vague but is described in little details such as being short (no exact height used), chubby, and with hair at least long enough to be pulled back. This story is essentially porn with plot, so literally over half of this is smut.

TW: Body shaming, violence, and attempted assault from random asshole #1. A few insecurities surrounding weight by the reader. Canon violence toward others by König. Super fast burn, unprotected sex, oral, fingering, Dom/Sub, multiple orgasms, squirting, creampie, suggested Stockholm syndrome (but really reader is just a touch-starved, thirsty bitch for Gentle!Giant König), pet names (in English and German), bad German translations bc I’m a lame monolingual American, no beta we die like the jackass Graves. Crappy Translations:

Ich werde dich mit deinen eigenen Eingeweiden füttern, bevor du diesen Satz beenden kannst! - I will feed you your own intestines before you can finish that sentence!

Maus- Mouse

Süßes mädchen - Sweet girl

Heilige Scheiße/Scheiße - Holy shit/shit

Mein schatz - My darling

Mein Gott - My god

Kleines - Little one

Verdammt, sieh dich an, kleine Maus - Damn, look at you, little mouse.

Oh, du kleine Füchsin! - Oh, you little vixen!

It was probably stupid. Scratch that, you knew it was stupid, but you couldn’t help but enjoy the company of the large Austrian man before you. Despite being the one to kidnap you and keep you tied up in this basement-like room for almost a full day now, the conversation had been flowing between you two like you were good friends. Maybe it was the gentle way he was treating you. Maybe it was the fact he’d kept his promises to you thus far. No matter the reason, you knew it was dangerous, this trust growing between you and him, but you were going to lean into it nonetheless.

“Hey, uh, I- I promise I’m not complaining but… why haven’t you, ya know, hurt me yet?” you asked softly. 

König let out a heavy sigh, his mask fluttering around his face temptingly before he dropped back into his chair. It was hard to see his eyes from across the room but you were certain he was staring at you nonetheless. His gaze was heavy anytime it was on you, palpable in a way that made goosebumps crawl over your skin. 

“You’ve given me no reason to,” he replied after a moment, “And, in all honesty, you weren’t our original target. In fact, it should have been anyone but you.”

You almost asked why, but he was quick to continue his explanation as if he hadn’t even stopped. 

“You’re a nurse, ja? A nurse who does not see combat often, according to the intel we’ve been able to gather about your team, and that means you have little to no information we need.”

A warmth crept up your neck as he casually talked about you as if you were nothing of import, essentially a useless captive. It made your heart sting in an odd way. 

“Ah… I see,” you hummed quietly. 

“So now, we wait until your squadmates come in for the rescue, and then we get what we need from them.” 

You managed a little nod but it stopped short when an embarrassingly loud rumble emanated from your stomach. Eyes widening, you nervously glanced his way to see if he’d caught it, only to find him getting to his feet. 

“My apologies. You’ve been here quite some time with nothing but water. Let me go grab something for you.”

Before you could argue, he was out in the hallway, instructing one of the guards to step inside and keep an eye on you until he returned. The instant the young brunette stepped into the room, something felt off. Why? You weren’t sure. Maybe it’s just because you’d grown used to the “comfort” of your kidnapper. More than likely though, it was the way he was staring at you. 

As you were stewing in your thoughts, trying to figure out your emotions, the man crossed the room and stopped at your feet with a laugh.  

“So, you’re the broad the colonel’s been hiding? Interesting.”

The man’s words were spit with pure vile and reeked of danger. You instinctively leaned away when he reached out for your face and the disobedience was quickly rewarded with a hefty smack, tearing a cry of shock from your lips. While the sting was painful, it was nothing worse than you’d experienced before. Unfortunately, you knew he wasn’t going to stop there, the leer in his eyes enough to make your stomach uneasy as he stalked in circles around you like a predator to its prey.

“A little round for my taste, but I can see it. The colonel must have a thing for soft and small. Probably because he’s a fucking mountain. Opposites attract and all that jazz,” he snickered, “Too bad the bastard is too scared to just take what he wants. But don’t worry sweetheart, I’m not a little bitch like him.”

Hearing him talk about König in such a way did weird things to your body. Anger began to rear its head. What kind of person talked about their commanding officer that way? You may not have been a full-blown soldier in the practical sense but you could never imagine speaking filth like that about your superiors. 

“Just because you lack the self-control to be a decent human like him doesn’t mean everyone does,” you bit out through a glare, “I wouldn’t touch you if you were the last human on earth.” 

He paused, eyebrows flying up in surprise, and, for one silly little moment, you’d thought you’d gotten through to him. Then reality struck hard with his fist across your face. A scream escaped your lips as the pain finally registered through the shock, your cheek aching to the heavens. 

“Now, see, you just had to go and be a smart ass. And here König talked about how compliant you were. Don’t tell me you got a hardon for the colonel, sweetheart,” he touted with a cackle, “And, for your information, it wasn’t a request. Either you can suck it up and make this easy, or I’ll take what I want either way.” 

Before he could do anything more, you tilted your head back and screamed, long and loud, for König. Of course that wasn’t allowed for very long. His second punch cut you off instantly, causing your vision to swim as you cried out again. You could hear him mutter something under his breath and you brought your eyes up only to find him drawing his fist back once more. 

“Fuck!”

You braced for impact, tears slipping down your cheeks through your clenched eyes, but the sound of a door crashing open interrupted his assault. The sound of a solid thud and a scream of pain tore your attention to the sudden group piling into the room, then more specifically to your captor-turned-savior pinning your assailant to the floor by one knee on the smaller man’s back, his arms wrenched behind him in a way that looked horrifying. He was snarling words in a mixture of German and English but you weren’t able to make out a single thing as you watched on in awe while he slammed the man’s face repeatedly into the concrete floor. 

“You are lucky I don’t kill you now!” König thundered, voice echoing through the room. 

“I- I’m sorry, I-”

“Nein! Ich werde dich mit deinen eigenen Eingeweiden füttern, bevor du diesen Satz beenden kannst!”  

Shivers crawled up your spine at the ruthless aggression in König’s voice. It was new, unexpected, and you were suddenly even more grateful not to have been on the receiving end of his anger. 

“Take him to his room and see to it that he does not leave. I will deal with him later,” König hissed, shoving the now bruised and bloody soldier toward the two at the door. 

“Yes, colonel, right away, sir.”

The moment the door closed, he deflated, shoulders slumping as he pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered something under his breath. You watched carefully as he closed the gap between the two of you. 

“I’m sorry, maus, are you hurt?” 

And instantly, it was like that war-hardened soldier had never existed, replaced once again by the gentleman you’d spent the last few hours with. You shook your head slightly and watched him kneel before you. A little smile twitched up the corners of your lips in amusement as you realized he was still taller on his knees than you were sitting in the chair.

“Nothing that I can’t handle anyway,” you replied quietly, voice trailing off as his hands cupped your face gently.

His touch was tender in ways you hadn’t expected as he shifted your head around, taking in the damage with a sigh. Thankfully, other than a sore and swollen cheek, that asshole hadn’t gotten the chance to do anything more before König had returned. 

“Thank you.” 

The giant before you froze, looking as surprised as you felt. Had you really just thanked your captor? Face warming, you watched him watch you. You could have taken it back, but not only would that have been weird, it would have been a lie. Because as far as hostage situations went, this was the best one you could imagine, and he had just saved you from one of his own when he could have turned a blind eye. Instead, you waited patiently for him to react.

“Hurting someone defenseless is cowardly,” he muttered lowly.

So the infamously ruthless König had an honor code. Interesting. That explained a lot, really. If it weren’t for the fact you’d seen him kill multiple of your allied Shadows with a brutality unparalleled, you’d think he wasn’t the revered Operator he really was. The silence grew in leaps and bounds, a strange charge in the air between you, until the moment was interrupted by another untimely growl of your stomach.

“Ah, yes, food!”

He grabbed a brown paper bag from beside the door and brought it over only to pause once he was in front of you once more. 

Confused, you watched on as his eyes darted around you in obvious thought before you finally broke the silence with a soft, “König?”

As if snapped out of a trance, he rushed over and snagged the black folding chair from across the room just to plop it loudly on the floor at your feet. He quickly took a seat and started opening the bag.

“I apologize but I can’t exactly unbind you,” he spoke softly, “Not yet, anyway.”

Your heart began to race at the implication. He was going to feed you. It was hard to decipher how you felt about it, a potent mixture of surprise, adoration, lust, and embarrassment hitting you all at once. 

“O-Oh, okay,” you mumbled.

Eyes lowering, you watched in interest as he carefully peeled an apple and cut it into bite-sized slices with a fancy-looking pocket knife. It was hilarious how tiny his massive hands made the fruit seem. All humor drained from your thoughts when he picked up a piece and slowly brought it your way. 

König’s eyes were wide beneath the sniper hood when you glanced up but you quickly dropped your gaze once more self-consciously as you parted your lips. Before you could stop it, a mortifying moan of delight fled your lips as you crunched into the deliciously sweet fruit, but you couldn’t find enough fucks to care as the hunger in your belly ramped up. When he picked up the next piece, you preemptively opened your mouth in wait. 

This continued on for quite some time in a comfortable silence until you swallowed the last piece and you almost whined at the loss. Thankfully, it seemed he wasn’t done. He snagged a block from the bag next and your mouth watered as you finally realized it was a brick of cheese. Surprising, but delicious and welcomed nonetheless. The cheese passed much quicker as it was a small chunk and you couldn’t help but watch in elation as he grabbed another thing from the bag. It appeared to be the last of the food because he crumbled up the paper sack and tossed it aside before opening up the little red box. 

“Do you like dark chocolate?” he asked suddenly. 

A grin spread across your lips as you nodded a little too eagerly. 

“Of course!”

You couldn’t tell for certain, thanks to the mask, but you were sure he smiled with the way his eyes crinkled at the corners. Why was that cute? That shouldn’t have been cute. 

“These are from Germany,” he explained warmly, “A brand called Schogetten.” 

He broke off one of the small pieces and brought it to your already parted lips. As the sweet morsel melted across your tongue, you went limp in disbelief, a little whine muffled in your closed mouth. You don’t know if it was because you hadn’t eaten in almost a day, or if it was the fact it was different than your usual chocolate back home, but the flavor was unparalleled. If all your dignity hadn’t already gone through the window, you wouldn’t have certainly lost it for that chocolate. 

Piece after piece, he fed you dutifully and silently, until you were too full for more. 

“I’m- I’m glad you enjoyed that.”

His voice was low, huskier than before, and it sent flutters through your heart. 

Feeling much more relaxed and comfortable, you had to smile back in response, carefully nudging your foot against his much larger boot. 

“Thank you for sharing it with me,” you replied.

That familiar weight of his gaze was on you once more but it didn’t take long to figure out why, one hand reaching out and steadying your face while his other thumb came to wipe your bottom lip. 

“You have some chocolate here,” he mumbled.

It was sweet of him to help when you would have had no way of knowing. The feelings of adoration dissolved into something much darker when his hand went beneath his hood and you heard the audible pop of his thumb leaving his mouth. 

OH.

It seemed he realized what he was doing at the same time as you, his posture going rigid as his eyes widened. A soft curse left him as he suddenly jerked his hand back down. 

“I apologize. I don’t know what came over me.” 

Fuck. Was this Stockholm syndrome? Did that set in this quickly? It wasn’t exactly a topic you’d researched much in your nursing classes. If it was… it certainly wasn’t a bad feeling. 

Biting your lower lip, you tried to steady your breath as the flutters in your chest grew stronger. 

“It’s okay,” you assured him.

Another bout of silence filled the space between you both, but this time you were practically vibrating in your seat from the anxious excitement thumping in your veins. As you stared into his half-lidded eyes, your thoughts went wild. 

What was going to happen now? There was a static charge in the air and it made your skin bump up. How long did you have before your team came? Were they coming? Did you even want them to come now? 

Your thoughts were brought to a screeching halt when he lunged forward, hands cradling your face carefully as his mouth smashed painfully hard against yours. It was a delicate juxtaposition and your brain took a few long seconds to register what was happening, but the instant you realized he was kissing you, you melted into it with a moan. The scratch of the hood against your lips was a unique texture but not entirely unpleasant, although you’d much rather have his lips bare. 

The chair creaked with a loud groan as you tipped forward, eager for more of the Austrian and frustrated by the rope keeping you bound. 

A huff of annoyance slipped out as you snapped beneath your breath, “Fucking rope!”

“Süßes mädchen,” König groaned low in his throat.

He pulled away just as suddenly as he’d started and you actually did whine out at that, not caring how pitiful you sounded, until you saw him take out the pocketknife. Fear bubbled acridly in your throat as you swallowed hard, eyes pinned to the blade as he flicked it out. König hadn’t hurt you yet. There was no reason to think he would now… right? 

It became painfully obvious that your intuition was right when he stepped behind you and fingered the ropes. 

“Stay still, maus, I don’t want to hurt you.”

You did as instructed and we were rewarded with the freedom to move as the rope snapped and fell away. With a long, loud, groan, you leaned back and stretched up to the ceiling, a dopey smile painted on your face as you loosened all the stiff muscles. As you relaxed back into the chair, you found König in front of you once more, almost looking nervous in his stiff posture. 

“Thank you,” you said warmly. 

When you stood, you were made acutely aware of just how short you were compared to him. You’d known he was tall but seeing him now, how far you had to crane your neck back to meet his gaze, it was so different. 

“I’m trusting you not to try anything.”

His voice was tight, whether from excitement or worry you weren’t sure, and you immediately knew how you wanted to prove your trustworthiness. Grabbing one of his massive hands in both of yours, you pulled him over to the cot in the back corner of the room. It was almost comical how easily he followed you and allowed you to push him to sit on the bed but, as you stepped between his knees and got face to face, there was no denying who was actually in charge when your eyes met. If his physical presence wasn’t enough to deter you, the power in those beautiful blues was reminder enough. 

“I think I owe you, for being so kind and for saving me,” you whispered, hands cupping his jaw to mimic the hold he’d had on you, “If that’s okay, sir.” 

When he didn’t stop you, you took the chance to kiss him again. It was even better the second time around. The groan he let out against your lips was pornographic and you found your knees weakening as his arms wrapped around your thighs, hands resting right below your ass. It didn’t take long for your desire to overwhelm your thoughts and you broke the kiss with a gasp of air, carefully lowering to your knees between his legs. What you weren’t expecting was the absolute mind fuck it was to see such a big man looming above you, nor the way seeing his thick thighs on either side of your head would make your pussy throb. 

“Well, süßes mädchen?” he teased, leaning back onto his hands. 

What a sight that was; Black shirt pulled so tight across his body that every ridge of his muscles bumped through, dark green cargo pants now sporting a growing bulge, the intensity of his gaze staring you down with something akin to amusement and delight. 

You could feel your hands shaking as you reached up. What little confidence you had previously was beginning to wane at the realization that you were going to actually be allowed to touch this adonis of a man. Taking a deep breath, you steeled your nerves and got on with it. To his credit, König didn’t push you to speed it up. In fact, he praised you softly with each touch. By the time you were pulling on his boxers to get his cock out, you were beyond soaked and arousal hummed like a bee through your body. The way it slapped against his stomach once free didn’t help your predicament one single bit. 

“Holy shit.”

You weren’t a virgin by any means but the size of him made you pause in shock. Of course. A giant man would have a giant cock. What else did you expect? It was surprisingly beautiful too; surrounded by trimmed blonde hair, thick, long, and curved, flushed tip leaking and just begging to be sucked. 

Swallowing hard, you let your fingers wrap around him and moaned when your fingers didn’t meet. If you were lucky enough to do more than suck him off, you were going to be sore… blissfully, happily, sore. 

“Ah, scheiße, ja. That’s it, maus,” he purred, cock twitching in your hand. 

Your face warmed under the praise. Leaning forward on your knees, you braced your hand against one of his thick thighs before bringing your lips to the tip of his cock, pressing a gentle kiss to the sensitive skin. The hiss he drew in was delightfully guttural. You needed to hear more of him, needed to earn that praise and pay him back for his unprovoked kindness. Slowly, you moved down his cock, planting kiss after kiss until you came to the base. He was nearly vibrating with need when you finally poked your tongue out, tracing up the veins branching along the underside. 

With the way his body tensed, you’d almost thought you’d done something wrong but then his hand was in your hair, pulling it back as he guided your mouth to his head again. 

“Stop teasing or I’ll bend you across my lap, Y/N,” he commanded gruffly. 

The way your name sounded coming from his lips was deadlier than any poison. You wanted to hear it again and again, whispered in your ears and against your skin. Fuck. 

Oh, and the mental images. How did you tell him that you wouldn’t mind him spanking you at all? Hmm, an option for later, maybe? Pushing the thoughts aside, you finally gave in to your temptations and licked up the precum around his head before taking him into your mouth. 

“Heilige Scheiße!” 

His moan was heavenly in the most sinful ways, only rivaled by the little breathless whimpers he let out as you hollowed out your cheeks and slowly sucked him down. You knew there was no way you’d be able to fit the entirety of him, your jaw already aching from the stretch, but you were going to fit as much as humanly possible. Inch by difficult inch, you took him until he was pressing dangerously hard against your throat. Unfortunately, you couldn’t get your body to relax enough to take him in- your body’s self-preservation too strong- but you quickly thought of a loophole. 

Pulling back suddenly, you gasped out, “Push me down.”

“Huh?”

Giving him a coy smile, you said, “I know I can’t push past my body’s limits, but you can fix that. I want you in my throat so, please, just… push me down?”

His entire being shuddered and he took in a sharp breath as if he were going to argue, but finally, he relented with a nod. Flashing him a wink, you wrapped your lips around him once more.

“Take a breath,” he instructed softly. 

You barely got a lungful in before he arched into your face. Tears welled up in your eyes as he thrust in deep, saliva pooling in your mouth as you gagged around him, but you were able to relax just enough for him to push through. Mortification clawed at your brain as both tears and drool spilled out the instant he began to fuck your mouth, but worse was the embarrassing noises that escaped your throat. Thankfully he didn’t seem as perturbed by them, possibly even enjoying them if his groans were any indication. 

Blinking away the tears, you looked up at him and were rewarded with a pained moan.

“Scheiße, kleines maus, you look so perfect like this,” he groaned, “That pretty little mouth feels so- ah- so good.”

When he let you up, you inhaled a quick breath before going back down. Now feeling more comfortable with the sensations, you brought your hands back into play, one pumping the base of his cock while the other wiggled beneath his boxers to stroke his balls. It wasn’t long before you could hear little frantic whimper leaving his lips. The way his breath hitched and his fingers tightened painfully in your hair told you all you needed. You quickened your pace and played into the sucking noises that he seemed to relish. 

“A-Ah, fuck, I’m going to cum. B-Bitte. Bitte, bitte, bitte. Don’t stop!”

A flush of heat rushed through your core and you couldn’t help but moan around him. Something about hearing such a powerful man reduced to a pleasured mess was both arousing and flattering. His strangled gasp was the only warning you got before he slammed you down, hips arching into your face as his cock throbbed in your throat. 

Eyes burning and throat aching, you managed to pull up just enough to breathe and used your saliva to pump his cock faster. 

“Come for me, König, please,” you begged him weakly before taking him in your mouth again, your tongue laving his head lovingly. 

Almost instantly, he broke, rope after rope of cum filling your mouth as he groaned your name. As you looked up at him, you wished you could see his face, see more than just the squint of his eyes as you sucked him dry. Unfortunately, you knew you couldn’t ask that of him… yet. Maybe if you were lucky enough to be around him more, eventually you could earn that trust. 

It wasn’t until he was shuddering and tugging on your hair that you finally pulled back, content that he’d ridden out that wave as long as he could. A satisfied smile curled up your lips as you leaned your head against his thigh and watched him intently. The heavy rise and fall of his chest was enrapturing. What would it feel like to curl up against him and use those muscles as a pillow? 

You were torn from your daydreams when he patted his other thigh. 

“Up, now,” he demanded. 

Lifting your brows in shock, you let him guide you up onto the cot and sat on his thighs as commanded. 

“Yes, sir?” you asked curiously. 

König didn’t answer. Instead, a hand came to the back of your skull and jerked you forward while he sat up, a squeal of shock escaping as you fell against him hard. Before you could question him, a mouth was over yours. A decidedly bare mouth. No hood to impede it. Realization sent a shiver through your body and you couldn’t help but reach up and hold his jaw. Prickles of a shadow beard tickled your palms and fingers with each caress. There was no denying his jaw was strong, angular almost, as you soaked in the sensations. God you wanted to see him even more now. Your exploration was cut short when you felt the breach of a tongue between your lips and a hand between your thighs simultaneously. 

“König,” you gasped out softly against his mouth.

The chuckle he let out caused your core to clench in need.

“You didn’t think that I was done with you, did you, maus?”

He didn’t give you the chance to respond, tongue filling your mouth with vigor as you melted into him. You were suddenly very thankful that you’d been captured in your pajamas when his hand slipped easily beneath the elastic waist of your silky shorts. He let out a hungry groan when his fingers came into direct contact with your skin. 

“No panties?” he asked, amusement and lust heavy in his voice, “How lucky for me.” 

His words made you blush but the embarrassment was easily forgotten when one long finger ran down your cunt, tracing your slit in teasing strokes. 

“You’re already so wet, mein schatz.”

A broken snicker fled your lips as he tenderly slid two fingers between your lips and you whimpered out, “It’s not my fault you’re- fuck!” 

“I’m what?” he teased.

He made it impossible to respond, the calloused pad of his fingers making little swirls around your nub, just on the right side of not enough. 

“You-You’re, fuck, you’re- Ugh, you’re making it hard to talk!” you squeaked out. 

König let out a long rumbling laugh that felt way too nice against your chest. 

“Try, maus, tell me what you’re thinking.”

“Fuck, you’re so sweet, and you’re big, and your eyes are beautiful, and- and-” a pitiful squeal interrupted your train of thought when he slowly slipped a single finger into your cunt. 

“Annnd?” he purred. 

“I love your voice, fuck, I could listen to you read a dictionary!” you groaned.

“Mmm, good girl.”

Your knees went weak and your cunt clenched around his finger as your eyes flew open to meet his in surprise. 

“Ah, you like that, hmm? You like to hear what a good girl you’re being for me?” he asked, not-so-subtly grinding up against you with an already hardening bulge, “You’re being absolutely perfect, mein schatz. This little cunt gripping so tight. Almost as tight as your throat was on my cock. I’m almost afraid to take you.”

“No, please, please do, please! I can take it!” 

“Oooh, I know you can, süßes mädchen, don’t worry,” he hummed, quickening his finger as he twisted his palm to rest against your clit. 

Your forehead fell against his shoulder in utter defeat as you lost all inhibitions, grinding down against his palm with each thrust he gave. It was ridiculous how close you already felt with so little stimulation but there was no denying the ways your walls were flutter around him. Pleasure swirled through your core, growing tighter and tighter, until all you could think about was how fucking good he felt and how you wanted his cock in you, now.

A needy whimper fell from your lips when he suddenly pulled his hand away and you jerked back in his lap to stare at him in disbelief. 

“Wha-” 

Your voice went silent as you watched the way his tongue cleaned up his glistening fingers with a moan. Fuck. That was it. You were good and ruined. 

“I want to make sure you are good and ready, mein schatz, so lay down for me.”

Before you could even move, he picked you up as if you were nothing and dumped you onto the cot. It took a second for your brain to catch up, too shocked by the show of strength, and by then he was lying on the comically small bed on his stomach, mouth pressing hungry kisses to the insides of your soft thighs. 

“Mein Gott, you are so beautiful,” he groaned quietly, “So soft. So sweet.”

Instinctively, you slapped your hands over your face and let out a whine. No way was this beast of a man not only going down on you, but he was going to kill you with compliments while he did it. 

Almost instantly, your hands were thrown aside and you gaped at him in confusion, only to see his full lips curved up into a smirk, mask tucked behind his ears to expose even more of his beautiful features.

“None of that now. You will not hide from me. I want to see that pretty face when I make you scream.” 

Yep. You were dead. Dead and gone to heaven. When they raided the camp, you had just been killed with all your allies and this was some fucked up kind of reward for all your good deeds. 

All existential thoughts were wiped clean from your mind when you felt him tugging your shorts down. You quickly helped him, unable to stop the giggle that escaped when he tossed them aside with a curse. And then you were bare before him. He looked like a man starved and you were given no warning before he dived in. 

“Oh, fuck!” you gasped. 

Big hands wrapped around your thighs and tugged you closer, throwing your legs over his shoulders before moving to part your lips for his tongue. Before you could get used to the sensation, he thrust two fingers in your cunt, punching all the air from your lungs. 

“Scheiße kleines,” he groaned against your skin, “You taste so good. I could live between these thighs.” 

It was all too much. The swirl of his tongue on your clit, the girth of his fingers pressing oh-so-perfectly against that sweet spot only your toys could reach, the feel of his facial hair scraping against your sensitive skin. And then he added a third finger into the mix. 

“Ho-Holy fuck! König, ohmygodfuck!” 

You nearly collapsed in around him but he was quick to catch your legs, holding them apart with a hand and elbow on either side, his forearm pressing deliciously against your lower belly. That pressure alone sent you rocketing to the edge. Instinctively you reached down to grab his hair, only to come into contact with the fabric, and you couldn’t help but whine in frustration. You really wanted to touch him more. 

As if understanding your plight, he slowed until only his fingers were pumping in and out and lifted slightly. Something was brewing in his beautiful blues when they met your gaze. 

“I can’t take off the mask, mein schatz, I’m sorry,” he sighed. 

“It-It’s okay!” you assured him quickly, “I understand!” 

Despite your words, he kept staring at you, the sounds of his fingers sliding through your arousal the only noise in the room. 

“Here, close your eyes for a moment.”

You did as told, swallowing hard in anticipation, and then his hand grabbed yours. Your heart felt like it was trying to escape your chest as he guided your fingers below the hood into his short hair. It was a bit longer than you expected, having thought he would have a regulation military fade cut, and softer. 

“Thank you,” you whispered, tears invading your closed eyes. 

“Of course, maus.”

How in the actual fuck was this stranger- a literal mass killer- you’d met a day ago more in tune with your needs and willing to compromise than literally any other man you’d been with? 

A gasp tore from your throat, harsh and raw, when he immediately returned to his previous act. Somehow it was even more intense after the brief break; frantic, almost painful. 

“König, pl-please. Don’t stop!” 

His moan was the only response you got. Rather than take your words as an invitation to go harder or faster like most did, he listened and listened well, keeping the same even pace, building you steadily higher and higher. Words and thoughts became impossible, incoherent pleading and wanton moans the only sounds you could make as you began to shake around him. Your fingers snarled in his locks in a way that was probably painful but you couldn’t find the wherewithal to stop. 

“Ja, that’s it, maus,” he demanded, “Be a good girl and come for me.” 

Within seconds, that ever-tightening knot in your gut broke. You tried to scream but the pleasure left you mute, lips parted in a silent cry of his name as wave after wave of ecstasy rolled through your being. When your breath finally came, so did the tears. 

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck, so- mm!- so good!” 

Just as it became too much, he lifted from your pussy with a heady groan. 

“Verdammt, sieh dich an, kleine Maus.” 

The moment the orgasm haze started to clear, you reached down and snagged his shirt, tugging on it to get him over you. He relented with a little chuckle when you whined his name. 

“Are you okay?” he asked softly, clean fingers gently tracing along your jawline. 

“Okay? The fuck you think? I’m absolutely dead in the best way,” you giggle, finally opening your eyes to meet his, “But… I still want you.” 

Wrapping your legs around his hips, you reached up at the same time and carefully pushed the hood back up, just enough to reveal his lips, your own curving up into a gleeful smile as you saw them. 

“Can I?” you asked hesitantly.

His answer came as the brutal crush of his lips on yours, pulling a moan from deep in your chest. As his tongue dominated yours, you took the initiative to reach between your bodies and palmed his cock, delighting in the way he whined. 

“Please, please fuck me,” you begged against his mouth.

“Couldn’t refuse you even if I wanted to,” he hummed back. 

You helped guide him as he lowered his hips to yours, unable to stop the gasp that escaped when you felt his fat head against your entrance. 

“You’re sure?” he asked suddenly. 

Brows furrowing, you dug your nails into his neck lightly and pulled him into another hungry kiss. 

“If you don’t fuck me, I might die.” 

That earned a warm laugh, a laugh that made your insides light up too bright, and a swift smack to the ass. 

“Well, we wouldn't want that, now would we?” 

When he began to push in, you tried so hard to keep your eyes open, wanting to see the expression in his, but it was too overwhelming. Despite his thorough prep, it’d been quite a dry spell for hookups due to work and it didn’t help that he was absolutely massive. It was a stretch, to say the least, but it hurt in all the best ways. 

“Oh mein gott,” König hissed into your mouth, “You are so tight, Y/N.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’m pretty sure you’re just hung, big guy,” you teased through shaky breaths, “It’s- It’s good though.” 

“So fucking good.”

The metallic tang of blood filled your mouth when he suddenly caught your lips again, this time with too much teeth and force, but it only made you moan. The pain of a split lip was nothing compared to the delight of his cock stretching your walls. It felt like forever until his hips were against yours, but once they finally were, you were already needing more. You tried to rock your hips into him only for him to stop you with a bruising grip and a dark growl. His eyes were predatory when you found them and it lit another kind of fire in your belly. 

“Dont. Do. That,” he bit out gruffly, “Don’t move. Give me a second, mein schatz, or it’s going to be over far too soon.”

Pride fluttered to life in your chest at his admission and you couldn’t help but grin, earning another cheeky smack. 

“You’re enjoying this? My pain?” he teased warmly. 

You pouted slightly but couldn’t maintain the look, too enraptured by his pretty blues. 

“I have to admit that it feels good to know you’re as affected as me,” you whispered. 

He groaned, forehead falling against yours, and muttered, “You have no idea, my love. You feel- Gott, I can’t even describe it. I’ve never felt someone who fit me so perfectly.” 

Lips quirking up into a teasing smile, you replied, “I guess you’ll have to keep me around then, hmm? Because I can promise you, you’ve ruined all other men for me at this point.” 

König groaned and his hips rutted eagerly at your words. 

“Don’t tempt me, süßes mädchen,” he moaned, “I would love nothing more than to steal you and keep you here, all mine, to have whenever I wanted.” 

As he spoke, you fell more and more in love with the idea. And why shouldn’t you? This was the most romance you’d experienced in years, all your previous conquests being quick flings with soldiers who barely qualified as friends. König was the first one to truly see you in years. 

“Oh, don’t look at me like that, maus, you’re making this hard.” 

Biting your lower lip, you tested a little wiggle against his hips and were elated when he allowed it. 

“I’m already here, König, who says you have to let me go?” you whispered, “For all they know, I’m just another casualty.”

Logically you knew you shouldn’t feed into the delusion plaguing you both right now, but fuck did you want it. Something about the idea of being at his beck and call, being allowed to please him whenever either of you wanted, was a deliciously dangerous option. 

Suddenly, he drew out his hips and slammed back in with a strangled grunt. 

“You want that, hmm? Want to be my personal little whore, maus?”

The way you clenched around him made you both whimper and you instantly wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down into a heated kiss. 

“Yes, yes, please! Wanna be allowed to have you whenever,” you whined, “Want you to use me.” 

Your nails found his shoulders and dug into the firm muscles there as the sound of your bodies meeting clouded the room. But you needed more, needed to feel more of him. Logically you knew you both needed to stay as clothed as possible, considering you could be interrupted any moment, but you couldn’t resist the urge to touch him. Slipping your hands under the hem of his shirt, you slid your nails up the length of his back, dragging the material with you until it gathered at his shoulders and you were granted the absolutely stunning visual of his abdomen clenching with each thrust of his hips. 

“God you’re beautiful,” you gasped out subconsciously. 

The noise König let out was unholy, deep and keening, as his fingers tightened on your hips once more. Even through the haze of bliss, you could see the way his cheeks lit bright red. It would be cute if he weren’t currently fucking you silly.  

“That’s-That’s my line, maus,” he chuckled breathlessly. 

Eyes trailing back up to his, you couldn’t resist leaning up as you pulled him down against you once more, your lips finding his ear with a little moan. 

“Then we’re both beautiful, König, because- fuck!” 

His pace grew brutal without warning as he shifted and suddenly it felt like he was slamming right against your cervix, the sharp pinch of pain making you yelp in surprise. It was clear the praise was doing something, a fact you stored away in your memory for later. Then he hit your cervix again. You almost tried to pull back until his hand left your hip, coming between your bodies to rub gentle circles across your clit. Fuck and that made the pain more than worth it. 

“Kö-König, close, please, just-” 

He groaned lowly and grunted out, “I know, I know. I’ve got you, mein schatz. Just relax and let go for me.” 

You finally released your hold on his back only to cup his jaw and draw him into a frantic kiss, panting out half-mumbled half-screamed moans as he tongued at your mouth. It was all too much. It was the best thing you’d ever experienced. When your climax finally hit, it felt like the world turned up on end. Collapsing back on the bed, you slapped a hand over your mouth to somewhat muffle the scream that escaped, but König had none of that. One big hand collected both of yours and pinned them to the bed by your wrists. 

“No! Let me hear what I do to you,” he snarled, “I want to hear every pretty little sound!”.

Looking up through wet eyelashes, you couldn’t stop the enamored smile that crossed your lips even as you whimpered for him. He looked so fucking good over you. What you wouldn’t give to see that sight every damn day. 

“Why are you so smiley?” he asked, amusement lacing his tone as he slowed his pace. 

“Just really fucking happy,” you giggled softly, “You feel so damn good and look just as amazing.” 

König’s lips twitched into a half smile before he shifted in place, keeping your hands pinned while he carefully lifted one leg up over his shoulder. Before he even moved, you could tell your body was going to resist the change in depth. Not that you would stop him. He could demand you attempt a headstand while he fucked you and you’d do it.  

“Oh FUCK!”

Your shriek earned a broken moan from the man above you but it didn’t stop him for even a moment, hips slamming into you with purpose. Fingers curling tight, you dug your nails into his hand and bit your lip hard to keep a hold of your senses, though it was for naught. The way his fat cock buried into your tight walls over and over was more than you could handle. You wanted to beg him to stop and to keep going until you died. 

“So tight for me, süßes mädchen,” he groaned huskily as his free hand came back to your clit, “One more.” 

“Eh!?” you gasped in disbelief. 

He grunted out a laugh and said, “Come for me, one more time. I want to feel you coming again before this is over.” 

You shook your head violently and retorted, “I can’t.” 

Even as you said it, he was easily proving your words wrong with his gentle stroking contrasting with the way he pounded your swollen cunt. His fingers tightened until it felt like your wrists would break under the force and yet you couldn’t find it in you to care, all self-preservation long gone. 

“You can and you will, mein schatz. I am nothing but a patient man.”

A pathetic whimper tumbled from your parted lips as you panted for breath beneath the exhaustion of it all. Suddenly though, he slows, releasing your hands and letting your leg fall aside. 

“König, wh-”

He silences you as he falls completely over you once more, the heavy feeling of his body against yours making you sigh happily. It only takes a moment to realize his reasoning, hands pushing your hair away while plush lips begin kissing along your neck. 

“Mmmm,” you hummed softly, fingers slipping up the back of his hood to find his hair again, “That feels incredible.” 

“You taste incredible,” he replied through a mouthful of your flesh, “Though, I must admit, my intentions aren’t so pure.”

Before you could ask what he meant, he bit down hard, hard enough that you reflexively yanked on his hair and screeched. The pain dulled to a low throb when he started licking and sucking over the wound, and you clenched hard around him when he rolled his hips into yours. 

“You’re gonna kill me,” you whined breathlessly. 

“Only with pleasure, maus,” he said with a chuckle, “Would never hurt a hair on this pretty little head.” 

Your heart fluttered traitorously at that. Deciding to return the favor, you moved aside his hood enough to reveal his thick, pale, neck and started kissing along the warm flesh. 

“Ah, s-scheiße.”

Poking your tongue out, you traced a line up to his ear and moaned at the taste of salt and skin. Even his sweat was driving you crazy. What was this man doing to you?  

The slow motions quickly turned into something much more primal when you wrapped your legs around his waist and sunk your teeth into his throat. 

“Oh, du kleine Füchsin!”

Groaning, you released his neck and whispered, “Fuck, I love hearing you talk.” 

“Then I shall talk to you,” he grunted through moans, “What should I say? Should I tell you how good you feel, how perfect you grip me? That I never want to leave this tight little cunt? How divine you look when you’re drunk on my cock?”

Despite your earlier protests, you could feel another orgasm brewing fast under his words and you let him know. 

“Ja, you going to come for me, aren’t you, schatz?”

“Oh god yeah, yes, please, keep- keep-” 

You pulled his hair taut as your limbs drew him in close, silently demanding to feel every inch of his body against yours, and his name spilled from your lips like a mantra. This one came up just as fast but much calmer, creeping up silently and taking you by surprise with its voracity. Something deep inside you snapped and you could feel your arousal gush down your cunt, coating your cheeks and the cloth beneath you. 

“Fuck, mein schatz, where- mein Gott, where do you want it?” he gasped out as you clenched around him. 

You didn’t even give it a second thought, locking your legs and pulling him into a ravenous kiss. 

“In me, please, I’m- I’m on birth control. I need to feel it in me,” you whined weakly into his mouth. 

His curses were muffled by your lips but their intensity wasn’t lost on you, the mumbled praises only adding to the flush on your skin. You bit his lower lip gently and suckled all while your nails scraped against his scalp and shoulders, doing your best to pull him under with you. 

“Oh, that’s my girl. My good girl,” he snarled, “Mine. All mine!” 

Stars burst behind your eyes as he buried his cock as far as possible in your walls, the throbbing sending little pulses of ecstasy through your veins as you tried hard to focus on working him through it. You only hoped you could return even a fraction of the bliss he put you through. 

A long, loud groan reverberated through the now silent walls as he went limp- though stubbornly keeping all his weight from pressing on you- and you had to smile to yourself, fingers now playing through his soft strands gently, in a silent apology for nearly ripping them out. 

“I’m going to move, hold onto me,” he instructed you quietly. 

You did as asked but the way he flipped your bodies over was still a shock. You instinctively tried to lift off of him only to be jerked back down, massive arms locking around you and holding you to his chest. 

“You are not going to hurt me, Y/N,” he murmured, “Rest. Relax.”

“O-Okay,” you whispered.

Face red, you fought all those negative inner thoughts away and gave in, earning a content little sigh from the big man. 

“You know, I never thought I’d have the best sex of my life while being a captive,” you joked easily, turning your head to rest your chin on your forearm, allowing you to observe him closely, “Where have you been all my life?” 

Your head bobbled like a boat on the ocean with each hearty laugh that left him and your heart clenched in delight at the pure joy in his eyes. 

“Waiting for you apparently, maus, took you long enough to get here.”

There was something strange in the way he looked at you, the tenderness in his touch as he held your face and stroked your lips, but your cockdrunk, touch-hungry, brain decided it couldn’t care less. All that mattered was how it made you feel, and God did it ever make you feel perfect.

[menlove]

My fave beatles album is rubber soul too and tbh I never understood the hatred towards run for your life. It is a feminist™️ song? No, but it doesn't have to be and im sick of people pretending that it's the worst thing ever and treat john like a literal murderer bc of it

I get that. it's very much a typical Sexist Sixties Song. I think too it's important to take into account that a) it's based off lyrics nicked from elvis and b) john later cited it as his least favorite beatles song because it was something he "just knocked off"

I think people assume that he wrote it around his own feelings & life experience given his abusiveness, and further assume it was written about cyn. which, granted, they're easy assumptions to make. but it was more or less just a continuation of a shitty, sexist elvis song

it's Still a sexist song itself bc those sort of lyrics were just seen as Fine. that's not an excuse, btw, it's me condemning the rock scene of the 60s. but I do think the like full context of the song should be taken into account rather than pretending it's him singing to cynthia about his desire to murder her if she cheats. no, it's him being a Shitty Sexist 60s Man who sees no issue w writing or singing those lyrics, which he lifted off another song to build a story around. which isn't great! but it's a very different motivation than what's ascribed to it

I do think people are totally allowed to hate the song. I honestly don't like listening to it myself. but we should also be discussing The Context rather than assigning our own assumptions to it.

(as a sort of side note, it sort of reminds me of "these boots are made for walking" which was written by a man & nicked off a frank sinatra line but has the fortune of primarily being sang & covered by women 💀 so no one really cares that it was written by a man based off another man's line. maybe john should've just given the damn song away to a woman and left it alone lmfao)

[polyhexian]

Murder drones pre-finale marathon begins. The new episode actually starts airing in two minutes but I wanted to wait until nightfall anyway. And also I want to be able to pause if like. I spill a drink or something. And my roommate left so now I have the house to myself. So it's time for a rewatch!!!

First thing is the same thing I always note when i watch the pilot again. It's incredible how MUCH the animation has improved over the last few years. And it was already great! I have also noted only the first episode has their eyes floating inside their visors rather than displayed on top, so when they turn their head to the side you can see both eyes. I definitely like the update.

The first episode also includes a lot of extra exaggerated subtle motion thats supposed to give it life but makes it look ever so slightly like motion capture rather than animation with intent behind it. The rigs improve so much along with the lipsync. And they were ALREADY good.

Tho, like future episodes, it can be a little too literally dark at times. That's why I want to watch it at night so badly; daytime screen glare really is a nuisance.

The humour is still perfect though. Absolutely incredible comedic timing. It's so SNAPPY and knows exactly how long to make a shot, how far to take a joke. And everyone's line delivery is positively incredible. Michael kovac is truly living for this role lol. He just sounds so delighted the entire time.

The score for MD is always great but they certainly have less diversity in episode one.

"sure. I love doing anything!" Is the single funniest line delivery I've ever heard in my life.

It's so funny seeing the v intro scene again because it's like. "Oh god, who are you?" Is so funny because. She can't see him. V knows exactly who he is because they've known each other forever. But she needs glasses lmfao. She's like oh god what the fuck who are you because he's a blob. Foreshadowing you don't know is foreshadowing!!

"I left an extremely dangerous we- excuse outside!" Fhjrjdjr

I love how n's legs look. They just have this extremely satisfying style the way they're designed. I actually like v and J's weird hips and legs but since there's only three murder drones anyway I think they should have given J something different. they fit V to a T but I think you could do something different for J that was more specifically her and offer some more design diversity! J should have feet. Maybe some smart Business Heels or something. Or, she's got kind of a very light gothic Lolita thing going on. Idk.

God I love when Khan abandons Uzi and even N is like damn that was fucked up wow.

Im hoping to get a bit of closure on this in the end but J's entire shtick is the whole business boss thing. But obviously we know now that earth has Exploded so. There isn't a company left sending orders. N notes SOMEONE was sending her orders and we know that was Cyn as Tessa and I suspect J does not know Tessa is Cyn, but technically that's not confirmed I think. But sort of. J's big ol business thing. I wonder if we may get further context on that personality trait.

It's VERY funny watching Doll in this episode like girl why ain't you doing anything

LOVE how N just picks her up like a cat and puts her on his shoulders. Just like it's nothing. Up you go, Uzi!

Love how the stinger at the end of uzi laughing maniacally about killing all humans never really comes to anything. Like it sets it up as if that's the plot, they're going to go attempt to do that. But no lol that's nothing

Next episode we go!

[naughtynoodle056]

At this point I think I'm becoming more and more okay and at peace with being alone forever because I don't think there's anyone who is compatible with me. I'd in theory be better off theoretically finding someone in the Feedism community given the nature of this fetish and lifestyle, but it's very very rare to find someone my age who's into this kink that's also compatible with my non kink interests, lives a reasonable distance, can hold a conversation that isn't just Kink, can read the room in general, and isn't sucky about my less conventional interests. All of that plus having actual chemistry with me and we find each other mutually attractive. AND they aren't weird about black people and they aren't/don't secretly excuse misogyny/homophobia/transphobia/racism/ etc etc. How many single, articulate, well-spoken, BIPOC inclusive, queer Gen Z feedists that aren't annoying about the fact that I like a wide range of music, and are into several subcultures AND don't whine about having to read more than two paragraphs are really out there? That have interests that aren't just being Horny 24/7 and aren't a slog to talk to??

The answer is probably close to 0 unless we simply have not crossed paths yet 😂. I know I sound picky as hell but the last time I wasn't picky as hell and committed to a relationship I got my self esteem destroyed, my money wasted, and physically assaulted, so respectfully I don't think I trust people so much anymore. I'd rather be choosy as hell for my own safety than settle for another disappointment. I already gave up my early 20s to someone that didn't deserve it, I'm never letting that happen again, even if it means being single for the rest of my life and pushing people I feel like aren't Good News for me away because.... No. I don't want another disappointment, and sometimes it feels like that's all I can expect from putting myself out there LMFAO. Thank God the only somewhat crush I have right now is on someone I've known IRL personally for 10 years and will likely recover from soon, cuz I feel like permanently traumatized from trusting a partner I met online 😂

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Hi BBP, thank you for your level-headed take on the hate. That said, could you help a bit more on how to dealing with the overwhelming hate? My timeline was fairly clean, but I was on reddit where there was a very one-sided vitriol towards Jimin and about his singing. So I tried to report on different platforms and my exposure to these vile accusations and sexually charged hate speech made me really sad. Idk how you've been able to report and deplatform some of the most awful bunch in the past. How do you not get emotionally drained? I feel so indignant for Jimin and I can't help but feeling hurt, which I know is not a good approach. I wanted to enjoy this comeback wholeheartedly, but I now feel a heavy weight in my heart. I also know that Jimin is a perfectionist and very hard on himself, I hope that he isn't beating himself up too much. He is a phenomenal artist, and I hope the recency bias doesn't get to him too much. If this is what (probably nowhere near the magnitude given the severity and size of army fandom at the time) army+bts went through in 2016-2018, then I can't commend the perseverance and strength of them enough. It's really incredible, and makes me feel better and want to do better. It's equal sign & letter time, I guess. Regardless, your advice would be much appreciated.

*

Ask 2: Lool Jimin is an embarrassment >..< Armys act high and mighty pretending you don't see that sorry excuse for an idol getting dragged all over Twitter lmfao lmfao >..< I wonder what you're going to say now BPP how will you spin it >..< Or are you going to defend his encore bleating?? Jimboy is my bias in BTS >..< you know why BPP? Bcos he can't lie Your boys tried pretending they're singers oh they tried hardddd but Jimin didn't get the memo!! I thought it will be Namjoon to fuck up first in solos given how sex obsessed he is but he pulled through lucky you BPP. Not lucky j-hope flopped >..< but Armys pretended he didn't. Jimin is where all the pretense dies. In solo era your dozens can't hide BPP and no amount of mass buying will change it. Thanks to Jimin the whole world knows BTS is a fraud >..< One day the whole tower of cards will come falling down. Your sick cult fandom will be exposed and your emperor will have no clothes. You know it no wonder you're miserable harassing bloggers here. Do you think people don't notice? How you steal from people here? Your favs are just like you.

Stop harassing bloggers here. You're not satisfied to run them off the app? Go back to the gutter you crawled out of and take your disgusting privileged dozens with you. Nobody will notice and there will be peace.

*

Ask 3: Ngl Bpp, but the success Face is getting in countries like Japan and UK really surprises me. I mean I was expecting him to do numbers but I didn’t expect it to do this well? Specially after all the stuff that’s been happening left and right. I know he’s Jimin and the maknaes in general are expected to do really well because they’re super popular and have tons of solos on top of that too but still. I’m not knocking on Face at all because it’s definitely my top 2 debuts but I guess you’re right that Jimin did unleash something that he hides away deliberately…

I’m expecting even more for Jungkook too especially if he goes more poppy. For Tae I think it will do just as well as Jimins, less maybe if he goes the jazzy, slow type that he’s done but I think he’ll do better in Korea if that’s the case. I’m really curious what those two are planning because they’ve been working on their solos for years now and have scrapped a ton of songs already. I wonder if they’ll flip the expectations too like Jimin did.

***

Hi Anon(s),

Anon in ask 1, the second ask in this post is here for your benefit. Normally when I get asks like that, I delete them. I don't get the really creepy ones anymore because escalating the issue to Tumblr each time got the creepy users permanently banned from the platform. The asks I end up keeping now are the ones that occasionally make me chuckle, like Ask 2. I just thought (and still think) it was so odd but quaint to say "Jimboy". Lol. As though Jimin's name is Jimmy... and like it's 2023, who actually says "Jimboy"? Also, "the emperor will have no clothes"?? I know what that means but it was so random I actually laughed reading it. It's also the most recent hate ask so I didn't have to scroll that far to get it lol.

What did you feel reading that ask? Annoyance? Anger? Confusion? Amusement? Bewilderment? Hate? Now, has anything changed in the last few minutes, in the real world, since the time you read that opinion and now? Actually, who even is this person saying it? They can't be anybody worth listening to if what they're saying isn't based in fact to begin with, can they? Until now I've never actually sat down to think this out, but that's basically the chain of questions that shoots down my mind in a split second when I see things like Ask 2. In fact my only takeaway from that ask is it's a shame its author is a bit insane, because I actually like their sense of humor. I mean, "Jimboy"? Really?

My point in saying this is, your personality will always impact how you approach hate, and this is something I didn't fully appreciate until recently. My personality is such that exposure therapy really does work on me - I've been into this for so long that few things are genuinely surprising (which is one reason I appreciate BTS/HYBE because that SM fiasco? Lol! Was left-field grade A entertainment. 10 years on and they still impact this system like new blood). Anyway, a lot of the talking points and insults get old. Like I know that in 2026 we'll be answering these exact same questions when a new wave of fans join the fandom, because this has happened every 2 - 3 years since 2013. When I first started actively writing on this blog, it was around the time Jimin was in a controversy related to missed insurance payments I think. There was a lot of hate and at first I'd respond to asks by pointing out how this will hardly impact Jimin in the real world, how Jimin hardly comes online anyway, how the people who write things like that are weird and miserable, how they're essentially binary code... I didn't appreciate that some people need more to understand what's happening because the scale and pervasiveness of hate in k-pop, whether in shippers, solos, ARMYs, or k-pop stans, is frankly senseless. So, I'll say a few more things if you don't mind.

Specifically on how to deal will hate towards Jimin or idols you like:

This might be weird to say, but one thing I consider very important is to remember what you are. You're a fan. That's it. Your scope of effective change is mostly beneficial when compounded with other fans' efforts. And even then, Jimin is his own person, a person strong enough to thrive in an environment as caustic as this, surrounded by people he loves and people who love him. So I get it when you say things like, "I feel so indignant for Jimin and I can't help but feeling hurt," but at the same time, it will be easier to detach and gain perspective when you remember what you are in this situation, a fan. And so is that person hating him. It's okay to just step back, log off, and go do something else if you're not in the mood to respond to them clearly, or to just report and block (recommended). Jimin is more than fine. Obviously. He already hears how much of a respected artist he is from his bandmates, their staff, talkshow hosts, interviewers, and designers, and what I suspect he'd like to see more is the response from his fans. So if you like what you're hearing, express that however you like. Just doing that is powerful and amazing. And going by that meme dance (the one JK too did), that Jimin posted on Instagram, maybe Jimin will notice how you express your love for his work. I'm writing all this to show it's not merely cliché to say focus on the music, it really just makes sense.

Anon in ask 3, thanks for providing a good segue into showing one of the best ways to deal with criticism IMO: actually listen to the music and support the artist. You were mad, amused, or both, reading Ask 2 weren't you? It didn't seem rational to you at all, did it? Responding to posts like that Anon's will take time away from you enjoying or assessing what Jimin has released, so it only makes sense to just focus on Jimin and support him harder. That's what ARMYs and his other fans did for him the last two weeks, and that's what they'll do again for Yoongi's D-Day release.

[ Your surprise at Jimin doing so well though lol... Jimin released the album of the year, ended k-pop, and owned every live performance, and you're surprised the fandom rallied for him and the world loved his work? Come now. ]

Speaking of D-Day's release and ARMY support, Taehyung and Jung Kook's debut will be so chaotic for the fandom oh lawd. I almost don't want to be here for it, but I also don't want to miss it because theirs could be the biggest debuts in the group and I honestly like Taekook's music so far. Both Tae and JK have made pop tunes so I assume they'll have a mix of pop, R&B, jazz, and/or hip hop in their albums. Let's pray Jungkook was thoroughly inspired by Jimin in Set Me Free Pt 2 and we get nasty rapper JK in JJK1, or a feature with one. We know Jungkook will be dancing hard in at least one MV too...

Besides that I have no expectations for Tae and JK. They'll both do very well.

*

Anon in ask 1, hate is something you'll only see more of unfortunately the longer you spend time in k-pop circles online, especially if BTS remains at the top of the hierarchy for a lot longer. I think whatever impact that will have on BTS will be insignificant so long as each member keeps making art. I could be wrong but that's also an outcome outside of our control, so why fret about it. Also, I personally enjoy a good debate and don't mind seeing critiques often because sometimes you learn something new, so I'd encourage you to remain in the spaces you're in, but it's also okay to curate your feed or block spaces that are clearly toxic to you. It takes a few tweaks but it's possible to curate a fan space online that's fun and helpful/informative to you as a fan. My $0.02: if that's what you want though, don't open a Tumblr account and turn on the Anon feature. Lol. A lot of people are just weird.

[lawhurt]

alright welcome to jamie & beth class kiddos.

do i think jamie was justified in doing what he did to beth. no. do i think it was good, no. do i think there's any 'excuse' for doing what he did? no. do i think beth should forgive him? no. do i think beth should love him, or even be nice to him, in a general sense? no. i think she has a right to hate jamie and there's lots of things jamie could have done to try and make things right -- but he never did. and that's entirely, 100% on him. he did something irrevocable to his sister and that is 100% not okay.

i love beth as a character. i love strong females as one myself, and i love a women like her. i always have. that's why i encouraged my fiance to write her, and i do see so much of her in beth. i adore beth's dynamics with the characters on the show, and while i can't pretend i understand the fact that she's willing to lose the ranch, just to do whatever her father says at any given moment, i really couldn't care less if she's a nice person or not. i couldn't give a fuck, i think she's kickass and she's one of my favorite parts of the show / part of why i got invested. i remember her first scene and i loved her, no matter how much how she treats jamie can make me upset. but i ultimately have no way of knowing how she feels.

but i don't wanna hear that she's exempt from being a horrid, shrewd cunt because jamie did that, and her mother died. if i did half the things to my abuser that she did i would be in jail and the only reason she isn't is because of her name, and because she calls jamie because she knows he has to help her. do you know why? because even if someone hurts you, you cannot fucking spend the next three decades physically and mentally and verbally abusing someone. perhaps if he was the one performing the procedure and you killed him in self defense. but there's no self defense claim unless he presented a threat. and because jamie won't fucking call anyone, he won't defend himself.

not only does she beat him, break him down mentally, verbally put him down and emasculates him in front of people who need to respect him, and she told him to kill himself. NOT ONLY THAT, BUT SHE IS THREATENING TO HARM OR KILL HIS CHILD. AN INNOCENT TODDLER.. SHE MADE HIM KILL HIS OWN FATHER. THREATENED to take away any happiness he may have in his life, when she is allowed to have a husband and an adoptive son? their father? that kind of behavior on here would not garner the kind of fandom obsession that she does, LET ME TELL YOU. if i'm expected (and do openly) accept and not grapple with jamie's flaws, people must do the same for beth. i don't fucking care, i don't care.

you cannot, and will not convince me that a lifetime of abuse from 18 to forty FUCKING FIVE is justified by what he did. that's not how anything works.

i'm not mad about the plot-line or how the show treats jamie, bc i find wes gives him such an emotion. but this fandom likes to pretend that beth is so girlboss for doing what she does to jamie when it's just kind of pathetic to see her just bark at jamie now because "she knows everything and he knows nothing" (like how filing power of attorney works a-fucking-pparently) and he can't convince her of shit even tho she knows he's right. but he's the selfish one for not telling their dad exactly what he wants to hear at any given moment.

also what she did to rip is just in a whole nother league of fucked up and she doesn't deserve his forgiveness lmfao.

EDIT: she also blackmailed him lolol

[violaceum-vitellina-viridis]

FIC WRITER ASKS

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

24. Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

25. What fic do you wish you got more of a response on?

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

ezzie i love you so much

7. How do you choose which POV to write from?

great question! i don't know lmfao. if there's a particular logic to who i've picked for POV character i don't know what it is, my brain is keeping it behind the curtain. i do know that sometimes i will go "ah yes, i will do [x]'s POV" and then three words in i am suddenly writing from someone else's. but aside from the occasional "oh it would be easier to write from [x]" or "i want to see [y] specifically from [x]'s view" i have no idea how my brain makes that choice.

24. Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

got told by an old teacher that i should tone my stuff down to make it more palatable to a wider audience. i thought it was bullshit then, especially considering she had never read more than the poetry i submitted for a school publication and this advice was given after i said that my novel likely wouldn't be considered "appropriate" for the high school library. meanwhile now i don't think, i know it's entirely bullshit, and often i will go harder into being weird and indulgent just because.

25. What fic do you wish you got more of a response on?

oh look a less flimsy excuse to talk about love with no place to rest (never love an anchor) :D it's a little character study and the focus is a character no one really cares about, but. i'm very proud of it, and i still really like it myself. there are a few others that are the same kind of small and niche that i wish people liked more, but the visenna character study is the one i think about the most.

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

hmmmm. witcher-specific because that's where the hyperfixation is, idk that i have a definite favorite; i have favorite things about different ones. i think for this question the best answer is either eskel or lambert, and while the opinion was not exactly swayed by @queerfictionwriter, her rabies enthusiasm means that i have been writing a lot more eskel lately (versus, say, the beginning of my witcher writing when i was writing primarily jaskier).

[witchofthescions]

(( A7. Is your OC confident in their reactions to life in general, or do they get embarrassed or easily shamed for it? I.e., if something startles them, do they insist it WAS scary? When they cry, do they feel like they overreacted? A24. What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it? C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it? C2. Would your OC feel bad if they acted against their morals? If not, would they find a way to excuse themselves for it? E6. Do they enjoy learning? Do they actively seek out sources of self-education? ))

Big List of OC Questions

((Putting them under a cut because there's a lot!))

A7. Is your OC confident in their reactions to life in general, or do they get embarrassed or easily shamed for it? I.e., if something startles them, do they insist it WAS scary? When they cry, do they feel like they overreacted?

((Depends on the reaction. Erna doesn't like expressing negative emotions often, so she tends to get embarrassed by those. She feels like she's overreacting if she cries for any reason other than joy.

Lenar... doesn't openly emote much to begin with, but he's also less self-conscious than Erna. Honestly he forgets that other people can even tell when he's emoting lmfao. He does try to hide when he's in a down mood, but his success rate is pretty hit or miss.))

A24. What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it?

((Erna's biggest obstacle is her undiagnosed ADHD lmfao. She's a lot more forgetful and easily distracted than she might appear at first glance. She always has to be Doing Something at any given moment or else she will drive herself nuts. But she has so many friends and loved ones willing to lend her a hand when she needs it, and she does have some good coping skills to help mitigate some of the effects. It's basically so well managed at the moment that she doesn't even recognize it as an obstacle.

Lenar is in a similar position. His biggest obstacle is his blindness, but he's developed so many coping skills and ways to navigate the world that it's not as big of one as it used to be. His next biggest one is his depression/PTSD, which he's able to manage these days thanks to the support of his friends and loved ones. And also not living in a war-torn city helps lmfao))

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

((Erna has a moral code, Lenar just has a personal code of ethics that sometimes looks like a moral code.

Erna's moral code is based on the general premise of "do nice things for other people because it's nice and it feels good to be helpful." There's a certain level of selfishness to her helpfulness that she generally doesn't say out loud, because she understands that people usually consider it Bad to admit that you do good things because it makes people like you more. The Scions are willing to admit that out loud amongst themselves, at least, which is one of the many reasons why she fits in lmao

Lenar's code of ethics is influenced to a small extent by his upbringing in Ishgard... though sometimes in unexpected ways. He rejects the notion of sacrifice being inherently "holy" or "noble" and so will do whatever he can to avoid sacrificing himself or others. This attitude is a huge component of why healing clicked with him so hard; healing is a means of preventing needless sacrifices. It's one part of why he so soundly rejected Guildivain's "sacrifice is necessary" shtick. The other part of why he hated Guildivain's antics so much is the concept of informed consent. If his test subjects had been fully informed of the potential consequences, and actually had the power to say no, Lenar would not have been as furious with the man. But no, he preyed upon people who were desperate to save their loved ones from dying and didn't tell them jack shit about what he was doing or what might happen to them in the process, and that disgusts him.

Both of them have very different approaches and stances on killing. Erna is much more lax about it; her personal moral code doesn't forbid her from taking a life if doing so would ultimately do more good than harm. Lenar is more strict; he's a pacifist at heart and hates killing, but he won't necessarily prevent others from killing or even take a life himself if there is no other option available. If there are other options, he's more than willing to cause quite a bit of nonlethal harm in order to take an opponent out of the fight. And with the amount of medical knowledge he has at his disposal, he can come with with a lot of nonlethal means. If left to his own devices, though, he'd probably get a hell of a lot more mileage out of his Sleep spell lmfao))

C2. Would your OC feel bad if they acted against their morals? If not, would they find a way to excuse themselves for it?

((Oh, both of them absolutely would feel awful about going against their own morals. So Erna actively tries not to end up in situations where she would have to, even if she doesn't necessarily have quite that level of control over her life lmao. Lenar, meanwhile, is constantly forced to break his "no killing" policy and hates it, though he's grown slightly numb to it. Of the two, he's probably more prone to coming up with excuses than she is. Partly because he's had to so often.))

E6. Do they enjoy learning? Do they actively seek out sources of self-education?

((Oh these two are the absolute BIGGEST nerds. They're both curious types who love to learn new things. Erna in particular loves to visit the Thaumaturges' Guild library and just browse their selection to learn about the most random things. She's especially fascinated by magic, so she tends to gravitate towards tomes on various aspects of it. Lenar, naturally, tends to gravitate towards books on various aspects of medicine and healing, as well as music.))

[izartn]

This was from my backlog; many months later....

Yesterday night I finished CFC and today I super finished the extras. One of these days Meatbun is gonna really kill her protags and making the extras their next life. She truly had me there for a moment, and I kind of love certain tragedy so.... Meatbun, kill your protags for good once, I want to cry about it!!!

Btw, when each thought the other died: that XQC went numb and uncaring of himself (passively suicidal basically) until his niece was born to spark a bit of life, and HY straight up violent and suicidal and then just suicidal as he finished up all pending affairs (bc he doesn't have anyone to pull him to life) is very them and so so very sad. Truly an example of do not separate, and codependency. Aish these two ;_;

One of these days Meatbun is also getting the shou pregnant; feeling very relieved this isn't that day and that HeXie can't have kids bc that'd be a disaster. (Also mpreg isn't my thing and preg in general is a squick for me in fiction, I'd read it for Meatbun but uff) XQC would love to pieces that kid, but I'm less sure about HY loving a kid for themselves and not about his need for XQC to be only his. (He Jiwei was a perfect example, although Vivian last moments are also there sooo.) Those two are functional enough to be with each other, and He Yu at least as of the ending is still trying to be "baby" at Xie Qingcheng, and XQC is loving it too lmfao. A kid wouldnt be good. Maybe in like ten years I'll give them the chance? Eh. I just don't feel them as parents.

Bout the story perse; surprisingly interesting sci-fi/fantasy stuff with the Mandela people, and I can see, having read the three novels a clear connection on the stuff MB wants to explore. Couldn't care less for the villains this time though; that's usually me but in Yuwu for example I was much more interested on the stories of the side characters and enemies beside the protags and Erha has Shimei and Hua Bin'an in its cast which wow.

In CFC I was truly reading only for HeXie and sometimes I was even angry about the plot; I don't think it was so well integrated as in her previous novels. I would have love to read about HeXie personal drama without it though, because they're so rich in conflict by themselves. The near death experiences made it so they could open to each other specially XQC, although HY also needed that push so I don't know what would happened without them, or only with like, two near death experiences. A very different novel for sure. Their truly abysmal comprehension of limits could also have been even more very crunchy if spoken aloud even if they ended up concluding that limits and safewords are for other people,and whatever, they love each so much. They know what Bdsm is by the extras they have no excuse! Deranged couple (affectionate and worried).

Very Meatbun of her to get what she wanted and end up tackling the theme of spies and double agents and crime in modern au like she wanted in Yuwu at last btw, even if neither HY nor XQC were officially cops. Also HY studying filming and being a hacker and talking a book it fiction, technology and life... Really nice. Hes very concerned about the stories we tell ourselves, given his propensity to hallucinate when he's down so it makes sense. Ties into his love of roleplay in bed too.

And I have to make a post about XQC bc what he says, does and the narrative says about him and the way they contradict and how they form his chara is fascinating.

In resumen: very entertaining and fun and sometimes deliciously angsty read, but not a favorite. Still really really liked it, and I have thoughts about it.

[sharonisthebettercarter]

prossably me or someone i know~?

i love ao3 cause it lets people explore their kinks to the fullest extent AND curate the content they prefer/avoid triggering content pretty well, but i do wholeheartedly wish fandom was far more self-aware than it is.

took me a while to figure out why the homewell shit generally set off every which squick factor possible for me, apart from the whole grooming thing... and it's because it deals almost exclusively in narcissistic abuse with a victim that is almost entirely already broken down/easily manipulated. and as someone who dealt with way too much of that? little too close to home for any guilty pleasure comfort... know my case ain't gonna be universal tho

for real tho, it's not any bit better than the dudebros wanting to see homelander sigma/alpha dominance on steroid rage, it's just two extremes on opposite sides

and it's even more ironic cause when it comes to butchlander homewell type stuff, butcher is given a free pass to be as toxicly masculine dudebro approved as he wants

it's almost funny because it reads like a reversal of the characters' inner desires. canon homelander has all of this power but wants to be free, he has always wanted to be free as he was born a prisoner, but people want to control him and it chips away at an intriguing sense of self control he does have.

canon butcher has almost zero power by comparison but wants to be controlled because he knows full well what he's capable of when he isn't, and he doesn't like what he's been made capable of because he knows he is addicted to it despite the damage it does, his need for becca came from his desire to be controlled, because he has no self control on the regular and is more self destructive.

god i love hate these assholes~<3<3<3

but it's a beautiful complexity that gets left open with butcher being so sickly obsessed with what homelander *would* be capable of, he *has* to challenge him, he *has* to drag him down to his level, he *has* to make everything worse, he *has* to see where it goes and what homelander looks like unleashed. it's no longer *just* a desire for revenge, it's a compulsion driven by billy's addiction to violence

and let me tell ya.. it's gonna lead to some beautiful~<3 gory glory~<3<3<3

but as far as kinks for groomy mommy/alpha dom go, one is definitely not any better than the other. they're both powerplay kinks that just change who gets to abuse/control the situation. and powerplay can be fun~<3 for sure, but i much prefer to make it competitive and follow canon~<3<3<3 ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

agreed that i would rather see fandom own up to their bullshit than make excuses for it.

and absofuckin'lutely agreeeeeeeeee~<3 that billy is the biggest bottom of the show, and WAY less alpha than raynor~<3!! LMFAO!!!

i really wish more homewell shippers or the boys fandom that use/like homewell type elements like the "good boy" or "sweet boy" stuff were at least more aware of the fact that homewell is a case of grooming--an obvious one--that is not portrayed as sexy. the actor and actress are sexy, don't get it twisted. but the show itself ain't subtle at all.

think of how creepy and uncomfortable literally every scene is made to be between them. not an undertone, they specifically do not play music or adjust the ambiance in a lighthearted or loving way. and sometimes even have sounds echoing eerily, specifically to make it gross and awkward.

i'm already not one for a partner pretending to be a parent, but remember how homelander was supposed to be about eight-fucking-teen in diabolical and how she was teasing him--someone she'd clearly known since he was a child and had acted as a mother figure for--and manipulating him? yeah that. that's textbook grooming. she flat out gave him the mommy issues and kink.

noir enabled the bullshit but holy hell madelyn was so much worse.

this isn't even to say that people shouldn't have fun with shipping or kinks, but just... be aware? please. i've seen too many people up and go "look how much we use homelander's literal victimhood and grooming against him to infantilize and abuse him more while pretending its just so hot and not in the slightest problematic! isn't he so cute?" with their fics or art which let me be clear. would be perfectly fine if they didn't then try to be "holier than thou" about it.

and i don't mean that lightly, i mean it very obviously shows. there are tons of people out there with kinks for control and powerplay, dom, sub, the whole shebang. myself included! i get that homelander is an extremely tantalizing and polarizing character for that and fandom can be competitive.

what i don't get is how so many of the people who get off to the idea of further caging in a character who's been caged and controlled his whole life and making whump of him can be so blissfully unaware that their kink isn't any better or healthy than the ones that let homelander let loose to go full abusive monster or are closer to canon.

or up and try to say it somehow is.

y'all.

it is straight up getting off to the idea of homelander being forced to relive his childhood trauma and exploitive grooming from vought, with a new lover. except things somehow turn out better??? leik bitch what!? you can't be serious. we saying repeated abuse from the "right" person a.k.a. vought 2.0 the trauma bond reignited somehow makes a victim better???

okay.

fine, have the kink. but you can't seriously think that's less toxic than wanting him to be set free no matter how awful that may be for everyone else.

they're both toxic.

y ' a l l.

i have literally seen people trying to say butcher's toxic masculinity hang ups are a reason he would never bottom when him and homelander have the e x a c t same toxic masculinity hang ups. they are both giant insecure cunts who have trouble with vulnerability and became sadistic sociopaths because of abuse, that is the point.

the whole point of this show is to exemplify deeply problematic things and showcase how society and people are so desensitized to those things that they either don't matter to us, slip through the cracks, or shine a light on the hypocrisy of it all. with a few nasty jokes here and there. and for some of you in fandom it sincerely is flying way over your heads like i can't.

you cannot be that dumb i just you can't. please.

like homewell, like top "less alpha than raynor" butcher, indulge in toxic kinks. just try to be aware instead of hypocritical. the show is trying to teach us some things and i think they're worth picking up.

[evenmywordsare]

how to make sans 10000x more creepy and gross than necessary: headcanon him as a 30-40 year old man

[oneirataxiahiraeth]

Can I request a Kai Parker smut when the reader is Bonnie's cousin and the reader sees through the things that Kai has done.

Dudeeee I actually had a this whole concept already in my drafts!!! Sorry it’s taken me a while, I’m a very indecisive person so this was written over and over again LMFAO

Pairings : Bennett!Reader X KaiParker

Warnings : angst., some more angst, angry Bonnie, Kai Slander, mentions of blood/violence/gore, mentions of murder, language, smut, not proof read

Requested : ;) I originally based this off of POV by Ariana Grande but I made some tweaks to it so yeah

Word Count : 7k

Your head was light and brain struggling to make any connections to the rest of your body. Your back rested against the dining room chair as you let whatever Jo fed to you get mushy in your mouth. Caroline had fed you some of her blood but your headache remained. Everything about today had went south and now everyone was just waiting on the edges of their chairs for something to happen and just wrap up the gift of shittiness to this very bad day. Unfortunately for you, you just so happened to be the fucking bow.

"I thought I told you to stay away from her!" Bonnie snapped in the living room at the brown haired siphon. You couldn't hear the arguments happening in the other room solely because you were too busy being coddled by Jo and Caroline to make sure you wouldn't be able to hear the scolding Kai was receiving in the other room.

Bonnie never saw what you did whenever she looked at him. In her mind, you were just another one of his victims. He couldn't have had any good intentions with you. Kai Parker never had good intentions of any kind. He's selfish, and evil, and cruel, and there's no way in hell she was going to let him keep ruining your life after what happened today. Everyone knew who he was and what he did, everyone saw how dangerous he could be... except you just refused to acknowledge it. Truthfully, she didn't know whether to direct all her anger at him for hurting you or put all her disappointment on you for letting it get this far.

"Bonnie I swear, it's not like that! I never meant to hurt her, it just happened and I couldn't control it-"

"I swear to god I will kill you right now, and I wouldn't even need magic to do it." She growled.

He couldn't understand what made her so angry. Obviously he never meant to siphon so much out of you, really he didn't mean to siphon you at all. He was just planning on telling from Bonnie and the bracelet you gave him with a bit of your magic in it for emergencies and hoped the whole spell would work out fine.

"It was an accident!"

"Like hell it was!" Everyone stood around... watching... waiting... hoping. Hoping he would step out of line just once so they could rip his head off. "Nothing with you is an accident, Kai!"

"I would never intentionally hurt her, Bonnie! Believe or not I'm still capable of human emotions!" He scoffed, nothing the vampires surrounding him ready to pounce at any given moment, and with his anger levels rising they were about to have a field day.

"Of course you would, Kai! You hurt everyone who's close with you! Whether it's literally or metaphorically you always find a reason that benefits you, that justifies you hurting someone else! That's just who you are! You want nothing good with her, Kai! She's a good person, just leave her alone!" Bonnie growled, but Kai wasn't going to give in so easily.

"I've changed, Bonnie!"

"Changed into what? An even better liar? Because for an actual second there, Kai, I really believe you stayed in mystic falls just to live the life you never got to!" She fired.

"That's-"

"You know, if you wanted to make us even considering liking you, you should've moved. Far, far away from here, somewhere where you can't fucked up our lives enough for us to continue to have another fucking reason to hate you!" His shoulders dropped, hurting filling him to the brim. Usually he wouldn't let things like words get to him. She was upset with him, people say things they don't mean when they're upset... only she would've said this even in her happiest moments of life. She did hate him, and she had every reason to.

"She makes me a better person- When I'm I'm with her I want to be a better Person, Bon!" He defended himself. He knew the real reason he was with her, to him it was quite obvious. She made him feel as though the world wasn't out to get him. She could stop a nightmare before it even began with just a breathing the way she does. She made the best cupcakes, even though her cooking skills were mediocre, magic could fix everything. She made him smile without even doing anything just from the warm giddy feeling in his body when he's around her. Y/N Bennett... she was the only person to exist to make Malachi Parker feel like he deserved to live.

"Bullshit! You're just using her-"

"It isn't like that!" He snapped, causing the argument to halt for a few seconds.

"Really? Then tell me, Kai. What is it? Is it because she's my cousin? Is that why you're interested in her? To get back at me in your own disgusting twisted way? Or is it because of the blood? I bet her Bennett blood would come in real handy just in case-"

"No! I wouldn't do that to her-"

"Or is it because you're just so desperate for someone who actually feels like a friend that you decided to keep her around? Hmm? Maybe it's because after 18 years holed up in that prison word, you finally came to the realization that there is no possible way you could ever be loved. That you deserve to be alone for the rest of eternity. But all of a sudden, here she is, Precious y/n Bennet, the only person who is willingly to search for even a shred of good in you!" She spat. Everyone around watching guards fell as the watched Kai slowly become less tense. His shoulders falling slowly, the will the defend himself leaving his body along with his will to live, embarrassment and anger rushing through his veins, but a small part of him kept him in the room and not on his way back to his apartment. "Let me tell you something, Kai. Maybe this you can finally get it through your head." Bonnie feeling confident enough to take a step towards the stunned looking Siphon. "Not even a Bennett witch is strong enough to fix the broken, unlovable, vile person you really are. And if you truly, by some fucking miracle have a beating heart in your chest, if you've actually let her change you for the better, then you know she's better off without you. We both know that you don't deserve her in any way, shape, or form... so just let her go. Find someone else to ruin and leave her alone."

It felt as if all the oxygen in his body had left. His heart stopped pumping blood through his veins, and slowly and painfully he felt as if he was desiccating on the insides. He hadn't even noticed the tear that had escaped while he was being scolded.

Both you and Jos head turn as you hear a muffled scream that sounded like it came from Bonnie. You tried to stand by Jo eased you back down, shaking her head as if everything was all right. You couldn't hear much of the conversation going on in the other room, but you knew if it was enough to make Bonnie angry then it was never good. And Bonnie in their with Kai... was enough to make her wanna take out the entire town of Mystic Falls.

"I feel fine Jo, I'm good." You reassure her, standing on your own again against her advice.

She knew what was going on in there... they've been going at it since before you even regained consciousness. She wasn't worried about you not being able to stand on your own, she was worried about you overbearing the heavy conversation happening in the other room.

"Maybe we should head to a clinic or something, you did hit your head pretty hard!" She tries quickly but you shaking your head.

"Caroline gave me her blood, I'll be fine." You responded, looking to the blood who seemed to be in total shock and not at all paying attention to either of you. "I think I'm just going go home and sleep, promise I won't do anything to crazy." You sent Jo a soft smile, tilting your head at Caroline in confusion but ultimately ignored it. Maybe it was some weird vampire sensory thing.

"You should take the back door!" Jo tried again, just to keep you from walking back into the living room.

"I would..." you narrowed your eyes at the dark haired doctor. "But my keys are by the front door." You spoke, walking towards the living room before Jo could make any more excuses. You caught on fast, but really you did just want to go home.

"Wait No-" Jo stood quickly, Caroline finally snapping back into consciousness. By the time she could truly think, you were already walking through the doors leading into the living room. There was still a bit of your blood on the carpet, you knew Damon was going to bitch about that later so you figured you get out why you still could.

Well... that's what you were planning to do before you stopped just to notice all of the eyes planted on you. You first assumed that it was just them just surprised at your speedy recovery... but the tear running down your boyfriends cheek made you rethink a bit. Kai never cried. No matter what or ho he was feeling, there was not a thing in this world that he would ever let get to him. Maybe he was just so worn out from the spell too that he didn't even feel himself tearing up. The whole room felt tense, and even Jo and Caroline looked like this in the Kitchen.

"What's going on?" You felt your own body tense a bit as Kai's eyes fell down to the floor.

"nothin'" Kai mumbled, voice shaky. Your eyes narrowed with obvious disbelief. His voice was kind of small, and he couldn't even look at you. He had so many thoughts racing through his head he had no idea what to do.

"Why don't i believe that..." you spoke, mostly to yourself. "I was just about to head home." You mentioned wearily. "Are you coming or are you just gonna stand there awkwardly?" You asked, half joking and half wanting to know what had him so actually upset.

"Uhm," he spoke looking back up, eyes immediately attracted to Bonnie before looking back to you. He felt her glare burning into the side of his head, her whole rant repeating itself in his mind over and over again. "Yeah, yeah, I'll drive." He nodded, turning around just so he wouldn't have to look at you again. Before he could walk, Bonnie had grabbed his arm. Rather tightly, and oddly to be honest. She usually avoided any sort of interaction with him, so even an arm touch was a weird sight to you.

All she sent was a simple look that seem to have him shaken down to his boots before she let him go. Her eyes falling back to you. She sent a smile, before just walking away. Not a word. Just silence. It was weird, no one else had much to say either, just weird looks on their faces and more silence to give. You ignored them though, just wanting to get home.

"Uhm, okay." You responded to the silence, shaking out the bad feeling from your mind before walking through the living room. You grabbed you jacket off the couch before walking over to Kai. You reached your hand up to touch his arm but he shrugged you off, walking towards the front door without even look at you. Was he mad? What could he possibly have been mad at you for?

You pretended to not noticed the coldness and just follow after him out the door. He got into the car, barely even waiting until your door was fully closed before taking off out of the driveway. He needed to get you home. To stop himself from doing the right thing and letting you go because he didn't want that. He wanted you, for as long as he could manage to keep you in his grasp. It was selfish of him, but everyone already knew what he was like so he didn't really care. He's happy with you. Happy with his life with you. Happy with his life around you. Happy with himself with you.... why in hell would he ever give you up?

Bonnie was right though, letting you go wasn't about his happiness. It was about yours. And as selfish as he was, your happiness would always come above his own. He made sure of that everyday. He didn't eat until you did, he took shorter showers so you could have more hot water, or he'd just wait until you were done and take whatever was left. You wanted- deserved a life without him and all the despair and pain that follows him around. You didn't deserve to be woken up in the middle of the night because he was restless. You didn't deserve to be distanced from all your friends just because you liked him. If living the best life you could meant leaving him behind, he was fine with that. He was fine with that for you. He was fine with you being happy even if it meant he would've been miserable for the remainder of his life.

"Kai, you need to slow down!" You spoke up, hand moving to his thigh as you noticed his hand clutching the wheel so tightly. "Your going 70 in a 35" it was late and no one was out on the streets, he didn't care how fast he was going.

"It's fine, y/n." He muttered, eyes not leaving the road. There were no deer out in this time of the year, there was no danger of hitting much of anything.

"No, Kai, it's dangerous." You responded, "slow down, please."

"No." He needed to get you home. If he slowed down, that gave you more time to talk. More time for him to think, more reasons to flood his brain on why you were better off without him.

"No? Kai, come on, seriously you need to slow down." You scoffed, not amused by his resistance. "I'd rather not die in a car crash before I'm old enough to run for president."

"Could you stop talking? Like just for a moment!" He huffed.

"Wha- I- no! What the hell is wrong with you? Slow the car down, Kai!" His eyes rolled, momentarily forgetting just how persistent you could be. "Kai!" Your hand moving from his thigh as you contemplated jumping out of the car just to see what he would do. Maybe after you break probably every bone in your body he'll slow the fucking car down. "Stop the damn car." You spoke but he ignored you, hoping you would just stop talking to him.

Instead of you stopping with the chat, he felt himself stomping on the break as your seatbelt came undone. Your body moving forward fast, colliding with the dashboard, and knocking the absolute wind out of you. He unbuckles his seat belt quickly, looking over to you. You were fine, your boobs not so much, but it wasn't unbearable. You let out a deep throaty couch, opening your car door. You only unbuckled your seat belt to get him to slow down, put the fear in him that you were going to jump out.

Well... it sort of worked.

"Y/N, what the hell?!" He growled, following you out the car. You were leaned onto the car trying to get some air into your king as the adrenaline started releasing through your body. "What the hell were you going to do? Jump out of the fucking car because I was got a few miles over? You could've gotten hurt! Hurt worse the just hitting the dashboard! What if another car was coming? You could've gotten ran over, and killed! Then you'd wake up with a craving for an AB positive juice box!" He scolded you as if you were a child.

"I wasn't actually going to jump out, asshole! I just wanted you to slow the damn car down! And if you would've done it, instead of being a dick then we wouldn't be having this conversation!"

He mumbled something under his breath that you couldn't quite make out and you finally managed to stand straight again. "Are you okay?" He sighed.

"Are you?" You shrugged. "You haven't looked at me since we left the house, you won't talk to me, practically told me to shut the fuck up, and then you yell at me like I'm kid."

"I didn't mean to yell at you. I just didn't want you to get hurt." He frowned a bit.

"I'm fine. But I'm not getting back in that car." You spoke.

"What? Why?"

"Tell me what Bonnie said to you that has you so upset." You demanded, his heart pausing for only a moment as you stated into his soul.

"What?"

"I might be a little be slower at picking up on the clues but I'm not stupid. What did she say that has you so deathly terrified to even look at me?" You asked. "Did she put a spell on you or something-"

"No, it's nothing, y/n, just drop it and let's get back." He shook his head.

"If it was nothing then you wouldn't mind telling me."

"It's none of your business."

"Seeing as your my boyfriend and she's my family, in some weird way, whatever beef you two have is my business."

"Leave it alone."

"No" You shook your head, crossing your arms over your chest even though it hurt a bit.

He wanted to yell, but he knees you still wouldn't give up. He didn't understand how you could be so annoyingly persistent still after he's shot you down so many times. It was like you knew you were getting under his skin yet you kept digging. Purposely trying to draw out some reaction just for your own amusement.

"Why don't you give up?" He groaned. "Why do you even care? Why can you stand there and look at me like that with no guilt at all?!" His foot colliding with the car tire. He hated how much every fiber of his being was pushing him to do the right thing for once. "How can you stand there knowing everything I've done and still sleep in a bed with me? Do you not care?" He wanted to stop but nothing was letting him.

"What're talking about?"

"I killed people! My own family, y/n! I hurt Bonnie! I hurt Damon! I hurt Elena, and then just because I thought you were pretty I hurt you too! And still, you refuse to see any of my faults in actions that I take pride in!" He yelled finally. It didn't phase you. You encourage him to let any emotions he was feeling out all the time. He was angry right now, and you were fine just seeing how angry he really was.

"You're not that person anymore, that's why. I trust you."

"Well you shouldn't." He shook his head. "I will always be that person!"

"You may feel like that person but your not!" You defend him against himself. "You've made a lot of progress, you know that. And I could sit here and dwell on the shit you've done in the past but if I did that to everyone, I'd have no one." You sighed, not understanding why he was bringing any of this up. What did Bonnie say to him?

"I left Bonnie in a prison world to die!"

"And you helped me get her back!"

"I tortured your best friend!"

"You wouldn't be the first-"

"Stop doing that!"

"What?"

"Making excuses for me! There are none! I'm a bad person, y/n! You aren't, this whole 'fix me' doll relationship isn't going to last because of that! Because you deserve better than me! And if I let this go any further, then that means I haven't changed. I'm not better than I was, I've just had you to keep me from making any stupid decisions-"

"Kai stop-"

"-and one day you're going to realize that this was all a mistake. That maybe there isn't something that can be redeemed in my cold unloveable heart. And when that day comes, I'd rather not wake up and see the pure and utter hatred you've developed for me just like the rest of the people in my life."

You felt your lungs stop filling with air. It was hard to get any in, you were just breathless. How were you suppose to breathe after that? Now you had a decent idea of what that conversation he had with Bonnie was.

"No. You don't get to do that, you can't push me away. I'm not here because your a chore Kai, I care about you, and I want to be with you-"

"Do you seriously have no respect for yourself?!"

"Do you?!"

"No! Because all my respect goes to you! Everything I have goes to you! And because I respect you, and because you are literally the only thing on earth that I actually truly care about I have to do this-"

"No you don't-"

"I'm br-"

"No your not!" You groaned, covering you ears as if that would effect the outcome of this situation.

"Stop being so stubborn."

"Kiss me."

"No,"

"Just do it, Kai! Kiss me, and we can make up and forget this whole conversation!"

"How can you seriously fucking stand there and act like I'm not going to ruin your life. I murdered my own siblings in cold blood. And I'd do it again, y/n. I don't feel bad, I never felt bad. I've done so many bad things and your standing here looking at me like I'm a fucking Saint who deserves the happiness you give!"

You remained silent.

"Is that what you want? To see how bad I can be? To wait for the day where you can see Malachi Parker in action? Be there when he finally breaks?! Again!" He scoffed and you shook your head, but no word escaped. "You know what" his eyes set on you, desperate to make you see what everyone else sees when they look at him. "Maybe i can get to your head, if I let you in mine." He spoke walking to you, hands on your temples before you could even move.

You tried to break from him hold be you weren't nearly as strong as he was. He was mumbling something under his breath and soon your whole body became numb. Your mouth feel open as you let out groans of pain as bloody images fill your head, and guilt and remorse and hurt filled your heart. Screams and cries ringing in your mind, but none you've ever heard before. People you've never seen crying, and struggling to run from you. Only it wasn't you they were running from. It was Kai.

His memories flooded your brain all at the same time. You had no idea had to process everything you were seeing. All the pain in your chest amplifying somehow with a deeper emotional pain. But most of that wasn't yours either. It was his too. Loneliness and Exhaustion. Hate and Longing. It was overwhelming along with the pictures and sounds running amok in your head. Soon pictures of Bonnie had flashed through your mind, and Jo, and Damon. Blood, and more blood, nothing wasn't covered in blood, and with every passing second the pain in your chest worsened. Cries of his name, and blood curdling screams filling your head, some of which belonged to you. That was when you felt the worse pain. Hearing your own screams caused a panic, and seeing your own body covered in blood, watching your body fall just earlier as your head collided with the end table. Sheer panic and anguish for some reason. But the last image to intrude your thoughts seemed like a not so distant memory of his. One of you. Even if your head wasn't being taken over you wouldn't have remembered because in this moment he wasn't with you. He was sitting across the grill watching you dunked your fries into a strawberry milkshake with a huge smile on your face in front of your friends. You seemed happy, and it was like you were witnessing someone come back to life. First grief hit you hard, then relief and joy, and then reality set in and it was like you realized that it was all just dream and that person was still dead and never coming back and you were never going to be happy again.

He tore his hands away from you, allow you to steal in some oxygen and you went dizzy, using the car for support so you wouldn't collapse on the ground. Your chest heaving as you tried to reel in your mind what you just saw, what you felt, what you heard. All of his memories. All of the bad things he's ever done, or things he would consider to be bad. But in his mind, it was only reason that you would probably be more inclined to leave him for.

Through every memories you were overwhelmed with emotions. Whatever you could feel you felt. You didn't know which emotions were yours or his. You couldn't separate the feelings. But in some weird way you could tell that the pain and anguish churning in your gut was his. You didn't know his family well enough to have regrets, or remorse... that was all him. All the fronts he put up... all those emotions exposed everything.

"Get in the car." He spoke softly, helping you off the car so he could open the door. "You don't need to say anything, I'm taking you home and then I'll be gone." He spoke as if he knew that you wanted to be nowhere near him.

Instead, you just wanted to give him a hug. That gut wrenching pain he felt still lingering within your body. Tears streaming down your cheeks but not because of what you saw, but how he felt. Every one of your friends have done things of equal evil status. Judging him for things he obviously did regret and feel everyday wouldn't be fair to him. And whether you felt like that because you wanted to be fair or because you were in love with him was a mystery to even you.

You didn't speak, you just sat in the car staring ahead of you. Trying to determine how you really truly felt. Why was him seeing you so bad that he felt he needed to include that memory in his mind torture. You barely felt time move as he flew down the road at the same speed as before. When he parked in front of the apartment the two of you shared, he decided he would just stay out and drive all night. He didn't know where to go. He knew you probably wouldn't want him around. You stared blankly at the red bricked building with the dim lights hanging from the walls.

"Y/N." He spoke softly, not wanting to look at the tears running down your cheeks.

"Kai." You returned, voice soft and brittle unaware of how vulnerable you sounded to him. "Why do you consider meeting me a bad thing?" You asked, not a single other word coming to mind.

"I don't regret meeting you. I regret putting you in this position in the first place. And if I didn't insert myself into your life then-"

"Then you wouldn't be breaking up with me on the side of the road. Leaving me alone to spend the rest of my life wondering what I did wrong to push you away. To wonder why my love wasn't good enough reassurance-" you rambled not sure why everything was coming out of your lips.

"then you wouldn't be crying right now. Then you could've avoided all of this." He sighed in response. He hated when you cried, if it was anyone else it would've been annoying. Your tears always were the one thing that could truly break him into pieces. "When I met you... when I met you, I was so sure that you were just going to ignore me or hate my guts. I fucking left your friend in a prison world to die, y/n. I tortured you, yet you still see me as someone who's able to be redeemed. You SAW what I did, and your still defending me!" His own tears starting to pool. "I d-don't want you to hate me... and I don't want to do this... but I do want to be happy and I don't think you could ever really do that until I'm out of your life." You silently shook your head as you tried not to let your own tears keep falling. Your heart clenching in your chest, breathing getting harder to achieve.

You didn't speak.

You couldn't.

Pain hitting you harder as each second passed. You didn't know how to respond to be truthful so you just unbuckle your seat belt. You sniffled, waking the tears from you cheeks only to has fresh one replace the one you wiped away. Kai still refused to look at you, maybe you finally did she was shitty person her was. And how stupid you were for being with him. You opened the door, getting out quickly hoping he follow you but he didn't. You were still a bit dizzy from him flooding his memories through your head. You're steps were slow and wobbly and you were bound to fall in seconds but you just kept moving. To any who didn't know what you've just been through, you were just so drunk sorority girl trying to make it to the door.

Kai watched you struggled for a second, knowing you could hold your own, but he didn't want you to. He got out of the car, not even caring about locking it behind himself. His feet carried the rest him over to you. Almost as if his body was acting on instinct to help you. His arm wrapped around you, your sweet scent immediately wafting into his nose causing a tear to slip down his cheek. He ignored it, helping you, and you just let him. You didn't feel like fighting. You just wanted his touch on your skin, so you allowed him to help you.

Many thoughts flooded your head. He was as bad as everyone said he was. But you he'd never hurt you, in any way. He wouldn't hurt anyone else because that would hurt you. He was good because he wanted to be, but only for you. No one else has ever really given him good enough reason to be good. You knew he wasn't the same person that he was, and tonight just cleared it all up. It didn't stop you from loving him. It just gave you all the more reason to. You've seen your best friends do worst than him, who were you to cash him out for something he's going to feel his entire life?

You didn't speak the entire way to your front door. He unlocked the door for you, hoping you would just be able to walk and get some rest on the couch or something.

You had other plans.

You stood straight on your own, looking back to the brown haired siphon who realized he was just fooled into a trap. Your hands reached for his, taking his hand in yours quickly before he could walk away.

"Y/n, please, it's easier this way just let me go-"

"You showed me your worst moment so I want to show you my best." You spoke. Eyes dead set on his, hands gripping each other's, neither one of you wanting to let each other go. "Please." You let out a small breath.

"This is going to make it a lot harder-"

"That's the point, Malachi." You sniffle, holding in a tiny laugh.

"Okay." He whispered, preparing himself for the rush of emotions and memories flooding through his head like he did to you. You pulled your hands from his, placing them on each of his temple before beginning the spell.

It wasn't long before he felt your presence in his mind, his on thoughts being taken over with your own thoughts. At first it was a horrible feeling watching every time you were happy, knowing he was never going to be able to see that from you again. Not if he kept his promise. He wouldn't to push you away, his chest light and full with joy and a love so over it was almost crushing. He watched as memories of times you spent with him. From your first date, to that one joke he cracked the made you laugh when he first kidnapped you just to torture you for practice. He watched as he teased you, to the first time the two of you had sex, to the first I love yous, and he felt how warm inside it made you at the fact that he never over used the words. You knew he loved you even when he didn't physically say those words. You felt his love every time you were around him, and that was enough for you.

   He felt a soft smile forming on his lips but he could tell if it was from your happiness or knowing how much he really meant to you. Memories of late night cries, and arguments ending in angry sex, and sneaking out of classes, and talking trash about your friends even though you would never said something too horrible about them.

  You liked who you were with him. You loved who you were. And he felt all of that, he felt how much love you held for him, how much pain you were in to think about him leaving. And eventually that strong happy, lovely, calm feeling was stripped away from him, leaving him empty for a moment before he felt you hands against his cheeks.

  You were holding his face, staring straight into his eyes, both of you almost to the point of sobs. You were praying to god that you're plan worked. The hell were you going to do if it didn't?

  "Don't leave me, Kai."

"Y/N-"

   "I'll follow you to the ends of the earth, Kai. Let me love you, please." You pleaded, bodies moving closer together without each other even realizing. It was natural for you to be close with him, you never questioned it.

  He didn't want to say no. But he owed it to you to say no.

"You saw what I did-"

"And you saw how much I love you-"

  "You watched in first person how I killed four of my siblings-"

  "And you watched from my point of view how badly I fell in love with you."

  You just wanted to kiss and make up. You would fall apart if he left you alone. Especially if he was doing it for your own 'happiness' because that meant he thought you weren't happy with him. It was upsetting and slightly insulting, because you were the happiest you've ever been with him.

  "I just want to do the right thing, baby." He whimpered quietly, you're heart nearly breaking in a million pieces. His tearing streaming quickly, mentally slapping himself for being so weak for you.

  "Then stay... stay and make me the happiest person in the entire world. We could graduate together and get a small house in the suburbs, or- or we could leave. Right now. Travel all across the world, experiencing so many different things together." You offered meaning every word.

  At some point in the silence that seemed to last for forever, one of you couldn't take it anymore. You didn't care to pay attention which one of you, but your lips connected, smooshing your faces together to be as close as possible. Tears mixing on each other's cheeks, his hands down on your waist pulling you closer into him as you both made you're way inside your shared home.

  He used his foot to kick the door closed, being careful to touch you oh so gently. You were a fragile peace of glass to him, the most beautiful sculpture who had no business being with him. He did nothing to deserve you, yet you felt he deserved you more than anyone in the world. You wasted so many years on him tonight, and for some reason you didn't care anymore. He was here, he was on you, his hands, his lips, your minds in sync for each and every single one of your next moves.

   Clothes slowly being tossed the the floor as you both backed each other to your bedroom through the dark apartment. By the time you reached the bed the only thing you had left were you bra and underwear, along with his shirt and boxers. Neither of you had even bothered to pull apart for a single breath. You allowed him to gently lower you on the poorly made bed.

   "Mmh, w-wait-" he mumbled against your lips. Youre legs parting for him to slip between which he did without thinking. "This is wrong-"

  "No, it's not?" You spoke in confusion. "I love you, Kai. I don't care what Bonnie said, because she doesn't know what this feels like." You shake your head.

  "Find someone else to ruin and let her go" Kai quoted, your grip on him tightening. "I don't want to-"

  "Maybe I want you to ruin me. To fuck up my life. To fuck up my morals just because I love you. I want that, Kai. I want every bit of it. I want this love that consumes me from the inside out, and I want to be able to go against everything I believe for you. I. Love. You." His hands traveling down your waist, as you let out a sigh.

  "I love you." He mumbled. "I love you so fucking much." His lips came down on your collarbone, fingers slipping under you panties waistbands before snapping his fingers to get rid of them. You felt the cold air against your slick heat, the warmth from his own body radiating into yours. His hips grinding down into your, his hardon pressing into you causing a light whimpering as you felt the butterflies raging into the pair of your stomach.

"I just wanna be with you, baby." You let out a soft moan, urging him on as he nips and sucked red marks onto your skin.

You used your own magic to undo the threads of his plain blue shirt as you dragged your hand down his back. The fabric slipping down his arms which he didn't mind. He was too focus on your warm skin under his tongue. His teeth grazing across your skin, coming closed with a tiny pinch every time. Your chest heaving into his from the closeness, and heat of it all. 

   "Tell me to stop” he mumbled against your skin, hips grinding into your heat as you let out needy moans.

“I need you, Kai, please.” Your lip caught in between your teeth, as the cloth of his underwear separating the two of you disappeared. “I want you so bad.” You whined, fingers digging into the soft warm skin on his back.

You felt his hard on slipping between your slick folds as he rocked his hips back and forth. He wanted to feel you, he wanted you to feel him. He never wanted to leave your side, or go a moment without feeling your warmth. He loved you with every fiber of his being, and there was no possible way he could truly explain that to you.

“Please-” you pleaded before he slowly pushed himself into you. Your mouth hung open as his length filled you to the brim, the tip of his cock hitting that hot spongy spot in your cunt so well you could help but moan. He always did fill you up perfectly, almost as if he was made for you or vice versa. “Oh my god.” You whined, hips grinding into his as his hips set a steady pace.

Your legs resting around his waist, as you let out small breathy moans. He was fucking into you hard, but it still felt amazing. He wanted to take his time with you and you felt it. Your body tingling, mind focused solely on him and everywhere your skin touched his. You felt his lips connected with you neck, continuing to suck soft bruised on the skin, placing a soft kiss after each one whispering a single ‘I love you’ each time. His hands left your waist, traveling up your beautiful naked body, taking all the warmth he could, until he traced your hands to his back. He pulled the off, even though he enjoying the sting of your nails digging into his skin, pinning your hands down above you head. His hands flat onto of yours, fingers intertwining as his lips found yours again, your kisses sloppy and slow. The sound of skin on skin filling the room as his pace quickened earning louder breathier moans from your pretty little mouth.

You felt a bubbling heat in the pit of your stomach signaling you were close to your high. Eyes struggling to sty open, as your boyfriend fucked into you so lovingly. It became harder to do anything other than focus on the feeling of him hitting so deep into you he’s almost hit your cervix. The kisses became harder to return and nothing but the sound of you filled the room. He watched in complete awe as you as you slowly began to fall apart. You were the most beautiful creatures he’s ever laid his eyes on, and he had you here underneath him on your way to this euphoric high that he him caused. His name coming out of your mouth in quiet moans and pleads and warning of you about to explode all over his dick. You were all he’s ever wanted out of life, and now he had you and there was no one and nothing that would take you away from him except for death itself.

You were his and that was final.

“Open your eyes baby, look at me.” He groaned as he felt your cunt convulsing around him so tightly.

You struggled with the actions, your eyes focusing on his eyes as you cried out in pleasure. “I’m so close, Kai, fuck, I’m going to cum.” You whined and he nodded watching as your breathing got heavier.

“Cum for me, baby, cum all over me.” He urged you on, feeling his own high approaching.

You felt something inside you explode, a loud moan his name escaping your lips, all your juices spilling onto his hard cock a he continued fucking you through your high. You body jolting and shaking around him, as he went faster, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you realizing you weren’t done yet.

“So close.” He mumbled, hands squeezing your so tightly you felt as if they were going to break. You ignored the pain of having your hard crush and just let out absorber moan from another orgasm building quickly.

“M’gonna c-cum again!” You warned, strained voice loud and needy.

“Me too baby” Kai moaned back, watching your eyes squeeze shut again taking in the way your body shook around him. “Let go y/n, I know you want to.” He spoke out of breath.

You felt his thrust getting sloppily, but he tried keeping up the pace. His own body stiffening as his cock twitch in you as you clenched around him again. Both of your falling apart with loud moans, and whimpering of each other names, lips coming together again as he spilt every last bit of his hot cum into your beautifully worn out cunt.

Neither of you spoke any words. Just your reveled in each other’s tongues, allowed you naked bodies to somehow merge into one. You felt a sudden tiredness take over you as it did the same to him.

“I don’t want to let you go.” He whispered into your lips.

“Then don’t. Let’s stay this way forever.” You hummed, squeezing his hands in yours.

“Deal.”

[d1sheclectic]

idk its almost like i didn’t defend any of that shit?? your shitty reading comprehension is not my responsibility dude

i was pointing out how hatred towards taylor swift is often hypocritical and directed towards her as a means to keep up a false pretence of genuine concern about the the social issues she allegedly perpetuates. not once did i excuse her behaviour. i think she’s a piece of shit (all billionaires are) but people tend to show their true colours and how much they’ve unpacked their internal biases when taylor swift is brought into the conversation.

people use her as a scapegoat to project unto all the anger they have at the world because it’s very easy to hate someone like her. and whether you like it or not, part of it is rooted in misogyny.

it always has to be a woman. even if taylor swift wasn’t even in the top 20 celebs with the highest carbon footprint in 2023, her label as the music industry’s #1 climate criminal has stuck, which was a given because she is a successful woman. any wrongdoing (even once atoned for) essentially become scarlet letters on her career.

but let’s talk about talent.

calling taylor swift talentless is an admission of her efforts. daddy’s money gets the ball rolling but it can’t keep it in constant rotation. you either need to be superbly talented, or superbly hardworking. the latter is likely, because apparently user caenid solved the case and has a totally reliable metric that discerns who is talented who isn’t! couldn’t have done it without him, could we?

i’m not going to act like being a rich (likely) cishet white woman didn’t greatly benefit her when she was paving her path, nor am i going to pretend that it would be a shit ton harder for anyone else with less privilege. believe me, as a woc, i know. i live that reality every fucking day lmao. but having all the advantages in the world will not compensate for your lack of other redeeming qualities to this level.

Believe it or not, swifties don’t like taylor swfit because of her frankly obscene wealth ! personally, if i really disliked something that everyone else seemed to adore, i would maybe realize that there’s something there that i’m not seeing. just a thought ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyways! While I was stalking (pardon me) i noticed that you posted about how chappel roan is a great artists and that swifties should listen to her instead of taylor’s shit right after your wack ass reblog of this post. Real amusing. Swifties have been listening to Chappell Roan since before the guts tour lmfao the chappell and taylor fandom venn diagram has been a circle for a while. society would be better off if you guys stopped assuming that swifties have no other interests lol

To close off, your whole “bitch go to therapy” comment is so fucking weird lmfao.

we can’t critique performative activism while simultaneously calling women bitches. weakens ur point by a helluva lot.

and we aren’t going to act like therapy is a solution to all mental health problems because it really isn’t and i think you know that.

But yeah im just another deranged billionaire apologist clone who lives in an echo chamber for expressing an opinion lmao

tumblr bitches try to be normal about taylor swift challenge (IMPOSSIBLE!!!!)

“She’s not a tortured poet, she’s a billionaire!🤓☝️”

i did not expect people on TUMBLR of all places to make shitty, insensitive, misinformed comments about mental health and the ways it can devastate ANYONES life.

Not liking her music is one thing but y’all will find ANY EXCUSE to justify your biases concerning talented women in the music industry. same mfs who preach about feminism and how taylor swift is somehow its antithesis will endorse hole as a great feminist band in the same breath.

you aren’t bettering the lives of minorities by denouncing taylor swift’s music. you’re not partaking in a revolution. you just come across extremely bitter.

you guys aren’t activists. revelling in your own hypocrisy isn’t cute.

[bbugyu]

how jeonghan knew

a journey with yoon jeonghan, lee seokmin, and you.

there was always something about his infectious laugh and his genuine nature that felt like fate to jeonghan, and maybe you were the muse that kept their red thread in tact.

prelude | part one | part two | part three | epilogue

wc.10662 (LMFAO) | fluff, smut, courtship, angsty in the beginning, polyamory, sugar daddy!jeonghan musician!seokmin escort!reader, hi cheol, hi gyu (again), hi boo, hi wonu, gay pining, jk he's pan probably, discovering sexuality, daddy kink, special guest seokmin!!!!!, threesome, lots of mlm, oral, cumpla, handjobs, choking, butt plugs, male penetration, there's a full on reader-less memberxmember sex scene idk, unprotected sex, please use condoms, jeonghan gets overwhelmed, the TEASING, jeonghan being a home improvement freak, don’t mind han jisung he’s just vibing, required listening is positions (2020) by ariana grande because it’s a perfect album

and here we have poly seokhan: the gayening!!! this is going to be the end of my scheduled updates for neverending artistry, but i’ll be posting an epilogue when i finish it - probably after i post a couple of other fics. this chapter.... is my fave......... i think u will see why lol. i went ahead and got a lil carried away with the house stuff but LISTENNNN i watch a lot of architecture videos ok LFJDSJ

thank you all so much for your continued support and incredible feedback on this series! it seriously means so much to me and i love seeing asks and messages from everyone telling me how excited they are to read more. i hope this satisfies you!!!

~

jeonghan is pretty sure he always loved seokmin. it wasn't something he would ever be able to change about himself, he figured, as he watched his friend date woman after woman in college with varying seriousness. he decidedly ignored any amount of feelings he harbored for the younger, especially after he dropped architecture as his major and he saw less of him. 

jeonghan tried to get over the destined musician (he would always be singing or fiddling with his guitar when he was meant to be helping jeonghan with a diorama) with several women, and after decisively focusing on his career for a couple years, he found success in another man. his short lived gym buddy, but lasted quite a bit longer as his boyfriend. they had connected first when jeonghan had offhandedly commented that he liked the logo on his shirt, to which the long lashed, broad shouldered man had said he had gotten it at the brand's store down the street, making jeonghan chew his cheek before he admitted that he had helped design that location. they connected the second time later that night, clumsily but intensely, and jeonghan liked his plush pouty lips and how his messy black hair felt between his fingers.

while that didn't last forever, he found varied success in other men, and he figured this was why dating women had always been so difficult for him. definitely not that he had been given small choice amongst the rotten apples that attended his college.

he was single again, and at an industry party when he reconnected with an old friend from college who happily reminisced about the fun their small group of friends had back then. he asked if jeonghan remembered seokmin, the guy that dropped the program.

"lee seokmin?" he asked, his brows knitting as he tried to react normally to the name, and mingyu hit his shoulder, laughing.

"yeah! guess what? that son of a bitch is teaching my niece piano!"

jeonghan smiled at the idea of seokmin as a piano teacher, nodding along as mingyu talked about how he had volunteered to take her to her lesson one week, only to be put face to face with a long lost friend. jeonghan laughed as mingyu imitated the face the other had made, laughing harder when he recognized it and remembered seeing it on seokmin's face in the past, then telling mingyu about how he had once pranked him by making the poor guy think that he was going to fail a project because seokmin had accidentally destroyed a diorama. it had already been graded, and he was going to take it apart to save on materials anyways, but the younger nearly cried when he thought he had wasted hours of jeonghan's time and cost him the grade by accidentally kicking it off his desk.

he asked how seokmin was doing these days, and mingyu told him he seemed well, and that he takes his niece to her lessons as often as he can spare, just to chat for a while. "i could give you his number," he said, feeling his pockets for his phone. "i'm sure he'd love to hear from you."

mingyu had been right. seokmin did love hearing from him. and he loved the way seokmin made him laugh with his ever joking tone and physical comedy antics. the way his eyebrows creased as he tried to keep a stern face but was unable to hide the smile across his lips. the way he always fought with him for the check despite jeonghan being older and notably better off.

he didn't love, however, how seokmin nodded his head after the waitress and asked him if he thought he had a shot.

maybe he was desperate, or maybe he wanted an excuse to not date seriously, or maybe he just wasn't ready to let go, but jeonghan continued to invite seokmin out, despite the fact that their relationship would never develop past friends who met in college. he enjoyed his company anyways, even if it felt bittersweet.

he poured himself into his work for several months, taking more contracts than usual and keeping himself occupied, only really seeing others for meetings and constructions, or when he was depressed on a friday night and caved, asking seokmin to join him for drinks somewhere. he continued this cycle for too long, his personal assistant noticing his mood changes before most.

"are you taking your vitamins?"

"yes, seungkwan, i'm taking my vitamins," jeonghan bit back, fully aware that he wasn't asking about vitamins at all, but about his state. confirming he was still making an effort to take care of himself rather than spiraling, sat in his living room on a tuesday after being told by a doctor to rest, for god's sake as a solution to him nearly collapsing several hours earlier. seungkwan shifted on his feet, tongue running over his teeth as he stared at the architect, hands folded in front of him.

"you need to stop seeing him. it only hurts you."

jeonghan sighed, staring at the black screen of his television. "i know."

his assistant studied him. "you should come out with the team sometime," he said. "we get drinks on wednesdays, usually. come tomorrow, it could take your mind off things."

jeonghan looked up at seungkwan, who was clearly sucking on his cheek. he knew he was right. more importantly, seungkwan knew he knew, but jeonghan had a hard time wanting to take his mind off this one specific thing, considering the way this one specific thing laughed like a hyena, poured himself over a piano like an ocean wave, and sang along like an angel. his head fell back on the couch, and he had to take a long, conscious breath to lower the ringing in his ears at the silence. "i'll be there next time."

seungkwan exhaled in defeat, eyes flickering around as he excused himself and said goodnight, knowing his boss was lying.

jeonghan found you on accident - put in an uncomfortable corner by an ultimatum from his publicist and the circulating rumor that he sleeps with men because he can't keep a woman around that seemed to pile on top of everything else on his plate - and the second you opened your mouth, he knew you were special.

he remembered the profile he had seen from your broker, and knew you were attending university. he asked you your major, and when you told him you wanted to produce music for a living, something deep in him stirred. you had been sitting in his car for all of twenty minutes, and you nearly had him under your spell already.

he couldn't understand his fascination with you, but he continued to book you for dates, sometimes deciding what event he would be attending by asking what day you were available that week. he figured if he needed to prove to the world that he wasn't gay (which he was, he was pretty sure), you were the only one he was interested in doing it with.

maybe he had a thing for musicians.

he had taken out quite a few escorts before you, but none of them were nearly as fun. you always did an incredible job engaging in whatever event he brought you to, but also hit his chest as you tried to stifle a laugh at something he muttered into your ear, guiding you away. his friends liked you, too, the few he had. the ones that had met you. yongsun had even tugged him aside briefly, asking if he really liked you. you seemed nice, she had said. and good, in general, but also for him. she wanted to make sure he wasn't just leading you along to quiet some stupid rumor. he glanced at you, smiling wide as you excitedly discussed music with one of his other friends (the fifth and last person he liked at this event, the two of you included), and wasn't quite sure why he told her he actually liked you, but didn't feel the need to correct himself.

then you told him you were quitting, and he realized what he would be losing. then you kissed him, and he realized what he had been feeling. then you looked at him with wide eyes, just as shocked as he was by the explosion of fireworks you had both just experienced, and he realized what he had been missing out on all this time.

he figured he must have always loved you as his eyes scanned the hotel bar, confused at how you had managed to get away so quickly. he was running into the hall to see if you had escaped to the lobby when someone caught his arm.

"hey, you seen yongsun?"

jeonghan blinked at his blonde friend, recognizing her play. "have you seen y/n?"

"try the bathroom," she said, throwing a thumb over her shoulder in the direction she had come from.

he looked down the hall at the restroom signs, nodding. "i saw her at the chocolate fountain a minute ago."

byulyi patted his shoulder as she walked past him. "good luck, yoon."

it felt good telling you the truth, while sitting in your well organized and tastefully decorated studio apartment that you had insisted he would hate, even if he was too scared to admit all of it. why he had needed you before, but wanted you now. his heart nearly beat out of his chest when you agreed to his conditions, though he recognized that he had given you just about every advantage in the deal. it would have been near impossible for you to say no, especially after the way you had kissed him before someone had finally tried to enter the bathroom you were hiding in.

for a while, he only kissed you as a farewell, mostly because he enjoyed the old school romanticism of kissing a beautiful woman in the moonlight, her back against the passenger door of his black vehicle parked on the street outside her studio apartment. then, when he had invited you to his home after the two of you had ditched a boring dinner several hours early, you had curled up in his side to watch a movie. at some point, he caught you staring at him, and you put a hand on his cheek and kissed him sweetly. slowly. kissed him in a way that only made him crave more. you smiled, settling back into his side for the rest of the movie, and even though you had done it unconsciously, the back of your hand rested against his thigh in a way he had a hard time ignoring, and he decided he must have just had real shit taste in women before he had met you. 

the following sunday, when you mentioned how pitch black the sky seemed at that late hour, having gotten caught up binging some drama, he not-so-vaguely hinted that he'd be okay with you spending the night in his bed. you eyed him, and he shrugged playfully.

"or i have guest rooms. up to you."

"i have class tomorrow," you tested.

"i can take you," he responded. "if you want."

you paused, watching him as he recorked the wine bottle the two of you had opened earlier in the evening but only managed to have one glass of each before abandoning it to cuddle on the couch. he was always so thoughtful, even in his teasing. he cared about your comfort. he wanted to maintain your boundaries. but it had been a really long time since you had gotten laid, and everything in you yearned to say yes. jeonghan's voice in your head reminded you, no expectations. this could be whatever you wanted out of it.

so you went to bed with him.

jeonghan would swear up and down that you were the most beautiful woman in the world, and his beliefs were only confirmed when he pulled your shirt off of you, dragging your pants down your legs, and got a real look at you for the first time. you felt unexplainably embarrassed under his gaze, asking if he was okay.

"yeah," he said breathlessly, a hand running up your side, your back arching slightly to his touch. he curled over you before he whispered "god, yeah, i'm more than okay," against your lips.

not even ten minutes had passed before you told him you loved him between your panting, and he was so ecstatic when he could tell you, wholly and truthfully, that he loved you, too. and after your pulses had died down and you were falling asleep in his arms, he said that if you were staying under his roof, you were not allowed in any guest rooms. that if you needed space, he would find a different bed to sleep in, because this one looked best with you in it, and he refused to have it any other way.

jeonghan never got bored with you. over time, you began going to his place after events and dinners more than he dropped you off at your apartment, becoming an often enough occurrence that he had asked you one night to fill an online shopping cart with clothes for you to keep in his closet, so you could stop this silly packing bags nonsense. he had already bought you a full set of toiletries for his bathroom, started keeping your favorite snacks in the pantry, and even gone as far as to buy you the house slippers you had offhandedly said were cute when the two of you wandered aimlessly around a mall together. you were becoming a part of his home in more ways than one, and he was happy to have you.

he offered you an unused office on the second floor when you started studying for finals on the peninsula of his kitchen counter one monday afternoon, and you asked what was wrong with you doing it where you were.

"because you're not going to clean it up," he pointed out.

"maybe if we had a rewards system," you argued. "if i clean up, i get a prize."

he laughed, rounding the small jut of countertop, thinking about how he would probably need a proper kitchen island if you were going to be sticking around. "just because i give you an allowance, doesn't mean you're a child. you're not supposed to focus on the baby part of sugar baby."

you pouted as you turned on the stool to face him, a hand gently tugging his tie to pull him into you. "what if i focus on the daddy part of sugar daddy?"

a hunger dropped in jeonghan, gazing down at you as you sat at his kitchen counter, surrounded by textbooks and notes. your eyes sparkled under the lights, and his fingers went behind your neck before he kissed you, muttering against your lips to try calling him that again, angel.

the kitchen remodel had gone about as smoothly as it could have, given the fact that it was nearly impossible to transport such a large slab of granite for his dream island without it snapping in half from its own weight, but they managed, and when the light fixture finally turned on for the first time after the new cabinet doors had been installed, he felt justified in remodeling a kitchen that had hardly needed updating. he felt even more justified when he came downstairs to find you, having woken up in an empty bed, only to have you yell at him as you flipped pancakes on the griddle of his new gas range, saying you were going to bring him breakfast in bed and if he didn't cooperate, he wouldn't see you for a week. he laughed at your threatening spatula, putting his hands up in surrender, unable to stop smiling as he made his way back up the stairs.

you had enrolled in online courses for your last year of school, mostly so you didn't have to be anywhere specific for several hours every day, and instead could keep your schedule massively open to cater to jeonghan's needs. this also meant you usually attended your afternoon lectures at his home, waiting for him to get off work and distract you.

then the two of you started attended wednesday drinks with the team. seungkwan had thanked you, though you hadn't realized that you were deserving of a thanks.

"he'll tell you when he wants to, i guess," he said, twirling the beer in his hand. "but he wasn't in a great place before he met you."

you could hear the subject of your exchange laughing further down the bar, and you wondered what kind of place he meant, but tapped your glass against seungkwan's instead of asking the question. "to better places."

he chuckled, bringing the beer to his lips. "cheers to that."

jeonghan enjoyed having you on his lap on the couch, listening to whatever r&b record you had chosen as you worked your lips against his. he nudged several kisses down your neck, and you mentioned offhandedly that there was a perfect place in his living room for a bar, pointing at the wall behind him. he pulled away from you, turning his body with an arm over the back of the sofa, and his head cocked as he stared at the wall that only held a painting. he silently agreed with you, wondering why you seemed to inspire all his recent projects as you nipped at his neck, drawing his attention back to you with a smile on his face.

the bar was finished in time to hire a bartender for a halloween party. he hadn't told the guests that it was an anniversary party, but you had been made aware of the secret arrangement during a conversation the two of you had over a private meal in your favorite restaurant the week before. 

"a threesome," you asked, hoping for clarification. 

"with a guy, preferably," jeonghan said. "but i could be convinced to approve of a girl if that's what you would like."

"you're being serious?" you seemed to find yourself asking him that a lot. every time he suggested something that he knew you wanted, you wondered if he was pulling your leg. "and you want me to choose?"

"yeah, at the party," he said, watching you shake your head incredulously with a smile on his face. the two of you had discussed the possibility in the past, and he thought it made a fun gift. an unexpected one, from someone who had enough money to comfortably gift you just about anything. "i have to approve, obviously, but you get to pick the candidates."

you thought a moment. "what if we can't agree on anyone?"

"then i take you to bed alone and we have fun anyways." 

he laughed when you squinted at him.

"if the opportunity comes up down the line, we can try again later," he said. "but i thought this would give you something fun to do while i'm hosting guests."

and it had, as you sneakily scoped out the guests, flitting around the party of both familiar and unfamiliar faces in your angelic cheerleading costume. visiting and laughing heartily with the team, as well as your uni friends that jeonghan insisted you invite, offering them more drinks, then saying something about having to play hostess so you could continue your search. byulyi and yongsun were there, and you complimented their matching rapunzel and flynn get up, jeonghan catching you for just a second to ask if you needed anything.

you settled in on one target perhaps too quickly, without even really having made an effort to see all the options. you had been struck by the same sharp cheekbones, puppy dog eyes, and crooked smile that jeonghan had once fallen for. when he saw you tucked into lee seokmin's side, recognizing your flirting even from a distance and noticing how receptive the musician was to it, his heart fluttered, and he couldn't tell if it was a good or bad thing.

a good thing, he decided, when seokmin had asked him permission before he came in you. because, seemingly, sexuality was much more of a spectrum than jeonghan had once thought, and perhaps his college crush just needed the encouragement of an incredible woman to try something a little beyond his experience, much like he had.

and when you wouldn't stop mentioning the musician the two of you had enjoyed the company of while schmoozing guests at the opening of him and his friend's collaborative art exhibit, he got a slick idea. on the way home, he told you that you weren't allowed to make a noise until he hung up the phone, but you were already writhing in the passenger seat just as the phone rang.

and when he answered, you clamped a hand over your mouth, a bare foot landing on the dashboard as you tried to grind against jeonghan's hand, his voice steady as he talked to the younger.

and when he mentioned you, your walls pulsed around his fingers, a smile finding its way into his lips as he spoke. he tried not to take too much pleasure in the way you looked at him with begging eyes and your fist between your teeth, or in the way seokmin's tone dropped as he confirmed that he would get a cab, but he truly couldn't help himself when he made eye contact with seokmin as you sucked him off, his hips canting into yours recklessly, forcing seokmin to break the contact as he reacted to your moan on his cock. 

he noticed the way seokmin's hips began to move on their own, begging for enough control to chase his nearing high in your mouth but having it brought right to his doorstep instead. jeonghan felt your perfect heat cling to him in reaction, and before he could think to stop himself, he pulled you into his chest by your throat, not daring to let you claim it all as he lapped cum from your mouth. you whimpered against him, your orgasm lasting impossibly long as he fucked into you, getting milked by your needy walls.

when he caught seokmin staring directly at him, he grinned and wiped the back of his hand across his chin and lower lip, languidly licking any escaped cum off it, and asked if he wanted to try his, too.

seokmin agreed, nodding shakily before jeonghan massaged at your sides, pumping himself into you a few more times. he told you to give seokmin's mouth a ride. you groaned, his cum dripping down your thighs.

jeonghan watched the younger's cock twitch as you moaned over him, one hand on the wall and the other on his scalp, his fingers digging into your thighs. he stared at how it never lost hardness. he didn't even realize that his hands were on seokmin's hip and thigh before he even asked if he could touch him, but a large hand left your thigh to shakily bring jeonghan's to his thick cock, answering the question despite you occupying his mouth, his fingers lingering over jeonghan's as he pumped his length.

he couldn't deny that how badly he wanted to fuck seokmin, but he could settle for making him cum in his hands until he was ready for something more, especially with the surprising amount he had to give after already having cum once. he let himself indulge in a single lick across seokmin's sensitive slit - though it was hard to stop there - triggering a garbled moan before he left to shower.

a week or so later, jeonghan asked you if you were interested in dating seokmin. you put your phone down and rolled over in bed, propped up on your elbows as you asked him what he meant.

"i love you," jeonghan assured, pulling you to lay closer to him. "and i can tell you like him."

you studied his face. "but i'm with you."

"that doesn't have to stop," he said, smiling at you as he tucked a hand behind his head. you eyed his arm briefly, then refocused on him. "but you know how things get in the winter, and i would be okay with you trying things out with him while i'm busy."

"you're being serious?"

jeonghan laughed at the familiar question. "yes, y/n, i'm being serious. i know you want me, but i also know you want more than me."

you had never told anyone about your desire for multiple partners, not even admitted it out loud to yourself, so his candid assessment caught you off guard. "how did you-"

"just little things you've said," he teased, leaving you to question how much you had revealed about yourself without realizing. "besides, no one can deny the chemistry."

you paused. "boundaries?"

"just tell me," he said, putting his arms around you and tugging you into him. "i just want to know when you're seeing him. and, eventually, i would like to be invited every once in a while."

"invited to dates?" you asked, throwing a leg over his lap to straddle it as you laid over him. "or invited to bed?"

he smiled up at you, hands running over your rear. "either. both. whatever you two want."

you agreed, but only after you made him promise he would tell you if anything changed for him. that he had to tell you about every doubt and worry he had. "i'll always choose you," you stated plainly, lips brushing against his as he gently rolled his growing length up against your clothed heat. "no matter what, i'll choose you."

"i know, sweetheart," he said, a hand on your cheek as he kissed you. "i promise."

after he came back from a business trip in december, you admitted to him that you and seokmin had exchanged i love yous, and he just put an arm over your shoulder and turned down the volume on the tv, telling you that he was pretty sure he loved seokmin, too.

"it was him, wasn't it?" you asked, studying his profile. "he was the guy you couldn't get over?"

jeonghan rubbed his face with one hand, sighing. "yeah, it was him."

"why didn't you say anything?"

he thought a moment. "i didn't want you to feel obligated, i guess."

your fingers straightened the seams of his long sleeved shirt across his shoulder. "obligated to win him over for you?"

"obligated to love him, too."

"jokes on you," you giggled. "he's very easy to fall in love with."

jeonghan supposed that was true, thinking of how quickly he had fallen for him, even back before he had admitted he liked men. how he had fallen into the same spot even years later, just over a shared meal and a few bottles of soju.

but you were easy to fall in love with too, he thought, remembering how he hadn't even understood his feelings towards you until you had kissed him, but he had felt them strong enough to want you to stay by his side anyways. maybe jeonghan just fell easily, but maybe he was lucky enough to have found his people at such a young age.

you settled back into the crook of his arm and asked him what he thought about seokmin coming over to join you two for christmas. while much of the world celebrated with family, it was more of a hallmark holiday in korea, often times spent with a long time sweetheart or a budding romance. or both, in your case, jeonghan supposed, when you were distracted trying to find the third christmas music lp you had specifically gotten for the occasion (out of eight, of course, because you didn't want to run out of christmas music). he was leaning against the tasteful home bar that had been hardly touched since halloween when seokmin shyly admitted that he knew jeonghan was interested in him.

he said nothing for a moment. "she told you?"

"kind of, back when you were in japan, but-" seokmin paused. "i think she was just suspicious, but i should have known. you were always too kind to me."

"not too kind," jeonghan said, hiding behind his wine as he sipped at it, trying not to show his embarrassment.

"i think i'm interested, too."

he looked at seokmin, who was staring down at his hands. "are you sure?"

"i'm-" he paused, catching jeonghan's eyes for only a second before scratching the back of his neck. "i think so. i've never even thought about doing anything with - uh - men. until you."

"that's okay," jeonghan said, looking to where you were flipping through records. "i didn't like women until y/n."

seokmin faltered. "wait, really?"

he nodded, a small smile on his face. "i thought i was gay. turns out i'm not."

"but you-" the musician stretched his jaw. "weren't you kind of a player in college?"

he almost said something about how having sex to meet an end and keep an appearance was different than enjoying it, but stopped himself when you announced that you had found the lost record, switching the lps with a flourish and setting the player again. and while he was curious about the level of seokmin's interest in him, he was happy to leave the conversation where it stood when you excitedly rejoined them at the bar.

"do you think i could be a bartender?" you asked, leaning over the counter and grabbing an unused shaker.

"probably," seokmin said.

"for sure no," jeonghan laughed.

you pouted at the latter, holding the shaker between your hands as you directed your attention to the former. "thank you, seokmin. i appreciate you encouraging my dreams."

"any time," he joked.

jeonghan rolled his eyes. "what about that music degree i'm paying for?" he asked, taking another sip.

"just because you've known what you wanted to do forever, doesn't mean everyone does. maybe i'll change my mind." you tried to spin the shaker in your hand, but the force you used was too little and it stopped on your palm too quickly, clumsily clattering to the counter. you stilled it, exhaling sharply when jeonghan giggled beside you, looking to seokmin. "he might be right."

"it's almost like i know you," jeonghan teased, nudging you. "she was convinced she could become my personal bartender for all of two weeks."

"i tried," you whined. seokmin laughed. "the tricks are harder than they look."

"and you hated shaking drinks."

you put the shaker back, defeated. "the ice made it cold."

"isn't that the point?" seokmin asked.

jeonghan smiled at you. "you're lucky i like wine."

"i'm gonna talk to you now," you announced, turning your body to seokmin. "because you're nicer to me than he is."

"aw," the architect chuckled, and seokmin watched you react to a squeeze at your butt. "did he make you soft? can't take my teasing anymore?"

you ignored him, trying to ask the man in front of you about his lessons, but you yelped when his hand firmly landed on your ass, grabbing seokmin's arm in reaction. he looked at you, seemingly just as shocked, and you tried to continue the conversation, but jeonghan's hand didn't leave, and your entire body was reacting to the way it was slowly hiking up your skirt and running between your thighs.

your eyes fell shut, and you muttered for him to cut it out as your grip on seokmin's arm tightened, but jeonghan just made eye contact with the other male, asking him instead if he should.

without thinking, seokmin shook his head and put his hands on your jaw, pulling you in to kiss him. your moan against his lips was involuntary, and jeonghan grinned as his fingers ran over your core, making you whine.

"did you tell him?" you gasped out, asking seokmin with hooded eyes. he shook his head, saying that he hadn't told him everything.

"told me what?" jeonghan asked, interest piqued as he put down his glass, pulling his hand out from your skirt and placing them on your hips instead, squeezing gently as he stood behind you, and your head fell back into his shoulder without much intention as you licked your lips. "seokmin?"

he pulled his gaze, trained on your mouth, to look at jeonghan, and he felt his breath stop in his throat as he fully processed the sight in front of him. you gasped again, as jeonghan's hand came up to knead at your breast, and you tried to pull seokmin closer, but he didn't stop moving even when he was pressed against you.

jeonghan thought he might faint. he wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but when seokmin's hand found the back of his neck and pulled him over your shoulder, his mind went blank. when his lips found his, his vision went white. when he felt his tongue against the inside of his teeth, he couldn't help but moan, one hand gripping your waist and the other aimlessly tugging on seokmin's shirt, seemingly just to hold something that belonged to him.

"fuck, okay," jeonghan breathed, staring after the musicians lips even when they left. you giggled, recognizing the feeling. "okay," he repeated. "got it. understood."

you spun around, hands on jeonghan's chest. "we prepared something for you," you said, and seokmin's cheeks and ears were bright red when he sheepishly nodded with you.

jeonghan looked between the two of you, swallowing suddenly. "what?"

you tugged on his hand, then grabbed seokmin's, too, when he didn't move right away, leading them both to walk around the couch. you pulled jeonghan onto the cushions with you, kissing him briefly before he realized someone was between his knees. when he saw him, that was when jeonghan's dick woke up, suddenly realizing what was happening.

"be nice," you muttered against the shell of his ear, your hand running down his torso. "it's his first time."

seokmin's hands were strong but gentle, and despite never having touched a dick that wasn't attached to him, he knew what felt good. he needed a bit of guidance from you to begin, less from lack of knowing the process and more because he was nervous, but quickly found a comfortable rhythm. jeonghan sighed when he finally got pulled out of his pants, and you were sucking a mark into his neck, his arm wrapped around you and his hand kneading at your rear. his eyes could hardly stay open when seokmin ran his flattened tongue up the underside of his cock.

"isn't he pretty?" you asked, whispering, a smile on your lips. 

he groaned, threading his fingers behind seokmin's ear, desperately trying to hold back his release because he hasn't even put you in his mouth, yet, jeonghan, for god's sake, keep it together. the younger's eyes flickered up to his, and he nearly came just from the feeling of his soft lips around his member, sinking slowly.

"fuck, you're too good at this," jeonghan said, the half chuckle on his lips falling quickly when seokmin's tongue ran over a vein, the warmth of his mouth feeling like heaven. his teeth bit down on his lower lip, watching your hand run through seokmin's hair. he hummed at the contact, his grip tightening slightly, sending a jolt through jeonghan's system. "fuck, i'm gonna cum already."

"there were lessons," you giggled, your hands wrapping casually around his neck. his breathing hitched, eyes falling shut, focusing on the mouth sheathing his cock as he recognized your fidgeting fingers over his pulse. "merry christmas, daddy."

he inhaled sharply right before you squeezed at his throat, and he thought that he should maybe let you lead more often if it was going to feel this good. seokmin seemed surprised by the feeling of jeonghan cumming in his mouth, but he did his best to pump every drop from him, swallowing thickly. you only smiled when jeonghan sat up, leaving you behind as he pulled seokmin's face to his, his hands running up jeonghan's thighs as he kissed him.

jeonghan decided the sunroom extension was all wrong, and that he'd have to redo it.

"you just built that," wonwoo said, having been the contractor that oversaw the construction. "besides, it's snowy season, we can't do outdoor construction. you'll have to wait til spring."

"not outdoor," jeonghan said, rolling out the drafting papers he had drawn up over the course of his new year break, the final pieces being completed in the wee hours of that morning. he had sent wonwoo a text as soon as he thought he would be awake, asking for a meeting despite it only being two days after the new year. "the shell can stay the same, we just need to build indoors. besides, i need this done in february."

wonwoo blinked at him. "when in february?"

"it has to be fully furnished by the 18th."

the contractor laughed at the deadline, only a month and a half out, as he looked over jeonghan's drafts. it would be a tight schedule, considering the structural changes he wanted, but he recognized his long time work partner's determination and knew there was little he could do to argue. "okay. let's get to work."

he turned down a contract for a café to make time for the new home project, but not before recommending they contact a kim mingyu, giving him the vaguest thank you for introducing seokmin back into his life. he didn't have time to draw several attempted variations of every café he had ever designed, he was too busy mapping out the logistics of adding a lofted space to the two story sunroom. too busy planning to tear out the outer wall of your office and picking the right sliding glass doors that would lead to the loft. you had to ask him several days in a row before he finally told you what he had planned.

"a music room?"

he tried to gauge your reaction. "is it crazy?"

you broke out into a smile, studying his design, gripping the mug that held your latté that morning. "absolutely, but i love it."

he asked you to help him pick instruments, saying his wishlist included a white grand piano and three to five guitars that could be displayed together. he also told you to pick out your dream computer setup for production - you were graduating that year, afterall, and it was about time you started using something other than your laptop and a midi controller to make music - and you almost started crying from how fucking excited that made you.

hiding the plans from seokmin was the hardest part, especially when he started spending weekends at the house. he saw the construction area often, and one friday afternoon, he had even asked if he could help, leaving you to usher him away and assure him that jeonghan didn't like help when it came to these things. he believed the white lie, allowing you to distract him with the option of watching shit television in bed, even convincing him that tonight was the night to surprise his new boyfriend. seokmin laid in bed with his arms wrapped around you, trying not to move too much, fully aware that even the slightest movements in his body caused his dick to come to life, until the last of the workers left and jeonghan appeared, asking if there were dinner requests before he went to take a shower.

seokmin had been training with you for over a week. you had bought him some toys, even helped him try them out in the comfort of his loft, and he got increasingly excited - generally, but also in those moments - to show jeonghan what he had learned. the surprise he had been keeping had already made him beg you to cockwarm him as he waited, but you refused on account of knowing him, and by extension, knowing that he would not being able to stop himself. he had a bit more confidence, though it may have only been fueled by horniness, when he pulled the vaguely sweaty architect toward him on the bed. he tried to say something about how he should really wash up, but seokmin just kissed him, hands gripping around his skull in desperation, his dick already hard against jeonghan's pelvis.

jeonghan's hands wandered, as they usually did, and when he reached down to palm at seokmin's ass, he reacted in a way that earned him a questioning glance.

"we - ah-" his eyes shut, jeonghan's hands getting closer to his surprise. "she's been helping me-"

and that was when he felt it. the small, hard handle of a plug, situated between seokmin's perky asscheeks, easy to feel through the loose fabric of his shorts, and jeonghan felt his arousal tenting his pants just from the concept.

jeonghan hadn't even noticed your movement off the bed until a bottle of lube hit his leg, looking down at it briefly before looking to you.

"i'm gonna go clean up," you said, running a hand through your hair as you retreated to the bathroom, leaving jeonghan with an already flustered seokmin. 

before long, he had him on his back, naked, and finally got to see how sweet his little ass looked when jeonghan pushed his knees towards his chest. when he saw the black knob fitting tightly into his hole, he groaned, his own bare cock flinching in need. he put a hand on seokmin's dick, gripping it lightly, then put a thumb against the plug.

"nngh- fuck," seokmin stammered, fingers gripping at the bedsheets as his neck stretched out against the pillows, bucking into the hand wrapped around him. "j-jeonghan…"

"this is cute," he said, slowly moving his thumb in a circular motion, the plug's movement making seokmin let out choked moans. "but i really need to play with you now."

seokmin nodded, hurriedly, brows knit together. "please."

he hooked his fingers under the knob of the plug, slowly pulling it out and relishing in the reaction. the younger's back arched in a way that jeonghan wished he could see from every angle, knowing that the way his shoulders and back looked must have been incredible, but satisfied by just watching the way his mouth hung open and his eyes clamped shut, his fingers gripping at jeonghan's hand where it stayed on his dick.

he began to pump the dick in his palm, setting aside the plug and grabbing the lube, popping it open with just his left hand and quickly squirting a healthy amount onto the tip of seokmin's penis, making quick work of spreading it completely over the engorged member, the slickness making him moan even louder and reach out for jeonghan's shoulders.

he let seokmin tug him over him, kissing him briefly before looking down at where the younger's thighs spread over his, wanting nothing more than to just fuck him already.

jeonghan's hand left seokmin's cock, leaving him whining against his lips, but it was short lived as his lubed fingers slid down to his puckered hole.

"seokmin," he muttered, studying his face. "you're sure, right?"

"fuck, i've been wanting this for since christmas, jeonghan," he sputtered out, eyes barely able to focus when there were fingers teasing his entrance. "yes, please, i'm sure."

jeonghan slid a digit into the tight hole, watching seokmin's face as his brows creased and his head fell back, a moan tumbling from his lips. another finger, jeonghan decided, and the reaction was similar, making him smirk.

"god, you're ready, aren't you?"

"please," he begged. "i want you."

jeonghan sat back, and the musician got on his elbows to watch as he readied his cock with lube, putting more on his finger and spreading it around seokmin's hole. he whined when jeonghan placed the head of his dick at his entrance, tugging him over him again.

"i'll go slow, okay?" jeonghan assured him. "tell me if i need to stop."

seokmin just nodded, eyes trained on his, and they locked lips as jeonghan pushed his hips forward slowly, the man under him immediately moaning and huffing against his mouth.

jeonghan really liked sex with seokmin. he also really liked sex with you. but he was pretty sure he liked it the most when you were both present.

seokmin didn't walk right for a day and a half, and while he was slightly embarrassed, you told him it was a badge of honor he should wear proudly. afterall, he had done the same to you on halloween. 

"how's your butt?" you asked when he came down the stairs, the sunday morning after they had done the deed without you, making him choke out a laugh as you got his tea out of a cabinet in jeonghan's kitchen.

"better than yesterday," he said, gingerly seating himself at a stool. "but not as good as friday."

you eyed him. "before or during?"

seokmin thought a second. "both."

"good morning," jeonghan said, quickly planting kisses on the man and then you, cheek and lips respectively based on the convenience as he walked past you, making his way to the espresso machine. "i think i'm gonna work on the sunroom today."

"today?" you asked. "wonwoo's gonna say no."

"wonwoo isn't getting invited. i still have to find furniture," he said, rinsing out the espresso shot glass and wiping down the portafilter. "we're getting close to deadline, i need boo to order the upholstery job on tuesday and i have a meeting tomorrow."

"when's deadline?" seokmin asked, wondering why he had one for a home project.

jeonghan blinked at the wall, not even turning towards the younger. "don't worry your pretty head about it."

you pouted, closing the short distance and wrapping your arms around him, your chin on his shoulder. "it's sunday. can't we cuddled puddle?"

"you mean like we do every night?" jeonghan asked, but grinding espresso beans so you couldn't answer the rhetorical question, packing down the grounds. "if you want to cuddle puddle, don't get out of bed so early."

you huffed as you dropped your arms, leaving him to prep a glass for his americano. "whatever. seokmin and i will have fun without you."

"what kind of fun?"

you stick your tongue out at him, using a teasing voice when you said "wouldn't you like to know."

innocent fun, was the truth, but you thought it was a victimless bluff. you spent the morning sitting on the couch with seokmin while a record played, discussing everything from your favorite movies to your weirdest dreams. you had to get up every six songs or so to flip or change the record, but seokmin liked that every time you rejoined him on the couch, you got closer to his side until you were eventually snuggling into his side, arms wrapped around his torso.

the innocence stopped when jeonghan emerged from his study, joining the two of you for a break. he planted himself on the other side of seokmin, under his arm, letting his hand not-so-subtly run over his thigh. you noticed the contact, peeking around to jeonghan.

"what kind of break are you looking for, hannie?"

he adjusted. "an inspiring one."

you giggled, recognizing the euphemism he used whenever he was stuck on something for work as you leaned back again. "that means he's horny."

seokmin sputtered out a laugh, jeonghan chuckling at your direct observation. "it's hard to not think about you two sitting out here, having fun without me."

"you may not believe it," seokmin said. "but i don't think sex was even on the table for us two today."

jeonghan's eyes met his, and he swallowed harshly. "can it be on the table for all three of us?"

the comfort of returning to bed was hard to deny, especially when they had you laid out against seokmin's chest as he was pressed against the headboard, his mouth attached to your neck and his fingers twisting a nipple, all while jeonghan was digging his digits further into you with his tongue flicking against your clit. 

seokmin grunted, rutting his hips against your back. "fuck, he looks good there."

you gasped, nodding, biting at your lip as he kneaded your breast, your fingers digging into jeonghan's hair. "you both do."

jeonghan never struggled to pull you apart, his deft fingers and teasing lips making you squirm and moan until you were shaking, mouth hanging open as your vision blurred and he told you you tasted like candy.

"minnie," jeonghan prompted, making the younger sit up with you whining against him to clean your taste off his fingers. his dick throbbed in need, watching the singer's agile tongue against him, wishing it wasn't just on his fingers.

seokmin had to practically beg jeonghan to fuck him again, but his only hesitation was that he may not have recovered yet. seokmin  was on his back and gripped at jeonghan's thighs, urging him forward as your hand twisted around his thick, throbbing cock.

jeonghan swallowed, pausing despite being covered in lube and in position. "you're sure?"

"yes," seokmin said, gasping at your hand on him. "jeonghan, i appreciate you asking, but i'm always sure when it comes to you."

you weren't sure you had ever seen jeonghan blush like that in bed, and you smiled against seokmin's neck as he groaned, his cock firming in your grasp as the older pushed into him. you admired seokmin's silent scream, his head lolling to one side at the feeling.

"angel," jeonghan sighed, settling into the way seokmin squeezed around him. "what do you wanna do?"

you teased a thumb over seokmin's slit. "i wanna ride."

"f-fuuck-" seokmin panted, his hips resting against jeonghan's spread thighs as his knees hung to either side. "i'm not- nngh- gonna last."

"you don't have to," you said matter of factly, adjusting to straddle his torso. jeonghan winced, watching your form as he pumped into seokmin. "we're done when daddy says so."

you put your hand, palm up, over your shoulder, and jeonghan chuckled at the recognized motion for him to spit on your fingers - usually, so that you could slick his dick to sit back on it. you worked jeonghan's spit over seokmin's engorged cock, then slowly lowered yourself onto him.

seokmin stared up at you, eyes fluttering and mouth open, suddenly not only feeling impossibly full, but also absolutely stuffed into you. he moaned out loud when jeonghan bumped into his spot, overwhelmed by the simultaneous pleasure. you fell forward onto his chest, holding yourself up with shaky arms as your face hovered over his, both of you trying to hold off your own demises.

then, jeonghan pushed himself deep into seokmin, who whined, his dick pushing up against your cervix. you nearly collapsed, whimpering as your forehead fell to his, gasping into a desperate kiss. jeonghan groaned, his hand running over your hip as he looked at the intersection of you all, staring at the way you barely contained all of seokmin before he leaned forward and kissed your spine.

"you two will kill me," he said, one hand holding you firmly at your waist while the other gripped seokmin's thigh as he picked up his pace. you both moaned, fingernails digging into the plushest part of your thigh when seokmin questioned how much longer he could hold out at jeonghan's unrelenting pace.

a long, high pitched whine fell from his lips. "fuck, i need to cum," he rushed out, bleary eyes barely opening as he looked at you.

"hang on, baby," jeonghan said. "ladies first."

you babbled against seokmin's lips, somehow never being able to get used to the way he filled you, though jeonghan pushing him into you didn't help. you could do nothing but repeat curses in increasing pitch, pushing your face into seokmin's neck as your walls clamped down around him. his mouth gaped, desperately trying to not succumb to your plush insides before he got the okay.

jeonghan smiled at how seokmin tried to focus on him, despite his hands gripping you as you shook against him. "go ahead, baby."

so seokmin went. and god, he went, coating you internally, immediately squeezing out around his stuffed cock and onto his lap, making jeonghan pant as he kept his hips moving, chasing his own end. he leaned forward, chest pressing against your back as he fucked into seokmin, not stopping until his eyes were clamped shut and he was painting his walls white.

there was a long period of time where none of you moved, then another after you had all managed to untangle from each other. jeonghan sat back, leaning against a hand and scratching his brow as he breathed heavily.

"bathtub cuddle puddle?"

you laughed, chest heaving as you looked over to him, but it was seokmin who spoke. "that sounds nice."

he started to get suspicious when his birthday got closer.

jeonghan told you to suggest a dinner outing for that night to divert attention, but he had caught you moving one of the guitars for the music room only a few days before his birthday, and he looked at you with squinted eyes when he asked if it was for him and you hurriedly said no, hiding the guitar behind your back despite him clearly being able to see it. 

"i panicked," you told jeonghan, eyes wide. "he saw it in me. he could tell it wasn't just the guitar."

"it'll be fine, y/n," he said, pushing around potted plants until they satisfied him. "he has to think it's weird that we haven't let him see this room yet, anyways."

you chewed your cheek, looking around the almost completed sunroom. the tall windows showed the light snowflakes falling from the sky, not quite thick enough to leave a layer but enough to make the enclosed yard look slightly pastel. despite the open space that looked out into the cold seoul winter, it stayed cozy, heat radiating from the floorboards and the faux fur rugs laid across them. the space near the entrance had a raised floor with a grand piano, along with several guitars hanging upon the wall, while the area partially covered by the balcony had two heavily cushioned, dark heather gray couches and a bright armchair, adorned with pillows and cable knit blankets.

jeonghan had a slight obsessive nature when it came to his home projects. he was meticulous with contracts, too, but he truly wanted this house to be perfect - not just for him, but for the people he loved. so you watched him rearrange pillows about four more times before you ran up the stairs to the loft to see if he had changed anything there since you had looked the day before.

it almost felt as though it was outdoors, with plants hanging off the edge of the railing and the rustic desk he had originally picked for your office placed to one side. you imagined doing schoolwork here, fantasizing slightly about watching seokmin play piano from your vantage point as you wrote essays. you slid open the glass doors to peek into your new office.

he had painted the walls white, taking a hint from the styling in your own apartment when he picked out a neutral toned couch and light wood shelving, your early graduation present of a computer set up spread across an L shaped desk. he had even paid to have your upright piano moved here, and cut into the next room over to give you more space for an electric drumset. you couldn't help but smile, imagining your friends coming over to record stuff with you. you had always felt strange about inviting them to your rich boyfriend's house, despite him insisting they were welcome, but he had really gone through the trouble of making a room so perfect for all of them that you had no choice.

and it was brighter, you thought. you had told him you worked better in bright spaces.

despite jeonghan's promises, the music room renovation felt like it was as much a gift for you as it was for seokmin. though, maybe he couldn't help it, when the reasons he loved you both overlapped so much.

you went to seokmin's apartment the next day with a bagged gift for him, arriving again right as his client was leaving, and you smiled at the same young man you had seen the first time you had come to visit seokmin. you knew his name now, not because you had spoken to him much, but because you had been told about him by his teacher, and you congratulated him on getting a gig the upcoming weekend.

"oh," jisung said, glancing between the two of you. "he talks about me?"

you laughed and gave him a fighting, seokmin looking upwards to hide his embarrassment as he ushered his student toward the door. "have a nice week, jisung! i'll try to be there this weekend," he said, throwing you a look as you giggled. 

"it's not for guitar, you don't have to come," the younger assured. "but if you want to, bring your girlfriend!"

"yeah!" you said, putting your fists on your hips. "i'm getting you dinner for your birthday tonight, the least you can do is take me to an underground rap show!"

"okay, both of you, no more talking," seokmin said, trying and failing to prevent jisung from stopping in his tracks at the news that it was his birthday.

"woah, teach, happy birthday!" he laughed. "you weren't gonna say anything?" he kept talking even as his teacher pushed him out of his apartment.

you couldn't stop grinning when the door closed, seokmin turning to you. he pointed at you, trying to hide his smile as he could only get out a vaguely annoyed "you."

"happy birthday, baby," you said, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss. he softened against you, smiling as you pulled away, his hands on your waist as he thanked you quietly.

"he asks about you a lot," seokmin said, joining you when you laughed at the fact. "i think he has a crush on you."

you rolled your eyes. "stop bragging about me, then."

"i don't brag," he said, smiling into another kiss. "i just tell the truth. i can't help that you're a dream come true."

you only pulled away from him to grab the two thick paper bags that you had set on his couch. "c'mon, we gotta head out. open your presents."

seokmin's mouth dropped open when he saw the logo on the bag. "wait, you didn't."

"i had to," you said, giggling as he grabbed one and tugged it open, moving to the couch to pull the garment out. "you said you wanted it."

"where did you find one?" he asked, staring at the corduroy parka from the brand you saw him wear constantly. "they've been sold out for weeks!"

"i got it before then, duh." you poked his cheek when he pouted at you, his eyebrows knit. "there's more, stop getting distracted."

seokmin hugged you extra tight as a thank you for his romantic crown haul, and he decisively pulled on the golden yellow shirt with the pizza on the back, making you grin at how perfectly jeonghan had predicted his thought process before you dragged him out of his apartment to go get dinner.

"we're just picking it up," you said, jangling a keychain. he gave you a quirked eyebrow, and you giggled, pulling him over to jeonghan's car. "do you wanna see it self drive?"

you pushed the side door closed with your butt and called out to jeonghan, saying the birthday boy was here. seokmin took the pizza boxes from your arms and put them on the kitchen counter as jeonghan walked around the stairs.

"well one of us has to change," jeonghan said facetiously, and seokmin looked down at the yellow shirt peeking through his half zipped parka, looking back up at jeonghan, who was wearing the same shirt.

"wait wait wait," you giggled, turning around to undo the zipper of your own jacket, pulling it open as you spun around to reveal that you, too, were wearing the shirt.

seokmin looked between you two with wide eyes, his eyebrows creasing. "you got us matching shirts?"

"pizza shirt gang!" you giggled, stripping off your jacket. "do you like them?"

he smiled into a disbelieving laugh. "how did you know i would put it on?"

"because we know you, minnie," jeonghan said, reaching for his hand after he took off his new coat. "before we eat, i finished the sunroom today, wanna see it?"

"hang on," seokmin stopped, making his hand fall from jeonghan's. "that's not the gift, right?" he looked at you. "the sunroom isn't the gift?"

you pursed your lips, looking at the ceiling, and seokmin started to argue, making jeonghan laughed. "who cares if it's for you, i just want you to come look at it."

jeonghan is pretty sure he always loved seokmin. it wasn't something he would ever be able to change about himself, he figured, as he watched his lover cover his face with his hands, sinking to crouch on the floor as his eyes looked around the large room that was lit by fairy light. the first thing he had seen was the piano, which made him gasp, then he saw the guitars, and looked at your smiling face, suddenly connecting dots, unable to stay standing from the shock as he understood why he hadn't been allowed to help.

and then he started crying.

the two of you ushered him to a couch, sitting him down as he sniffed back the tears. you sat beside him, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and cooing, jeonghan crouching on the floor in front of him.

"i'm sorry," jeonghan said, smiling slightly as he gave him an apologetic look. "i didn't mean to overwhelm you."

seokmin choked on a laugh, wiping at his cheeks. "how did you think i'd react?"

"i don't think he thought about it," you whispered, knowing full well jeonghan could hear you.

"i got a little carried away," he admitted, hand rubbing comforting circles on seokmin's leg. "you're special to me, so i wanted to make something special for you."

"this," seokmin said, looking around, gesturing at his surroundings. "this?"

the older huffed out a laugh, almost embarrassed. "yeah, this."

seokmin laughed too, eyes wet as he looked into the other's. "i can't believe you would make something this incredible for me."

"you're incredible," jeonghan said. "i want you to feel welcome in my home."

"i couldn't believe the record wall, either," you offered when seokmin seemed speechless, pressing your cheek against the his shoulder, hand rubbing his back. "jeonghan's love language is a little unique."

seokmin sniffed one more time, studying jeonghan's face, his brow creasing ever so slightly. "holy shit, i'm in love with you."

your heart stopped as you pulled away slightly to look at him, then jeonghan, who was frozen.

"i didn't realize that's what this was," seokmin said, hand gripping the one on his thigh. "i knew i liked you, but this is-"

jeonghan rose quickly, seating himself at seokmin's other side and kissed him. "i love you," he said, thumbs wiping over his slightly damp cheekbones. "it's taken me years to admit it, but i love you."

seokmin kissed him again in response, his face feeling hot from the continued attention. he broke away, only to look around the room again, jeonghan studying his face with a smile as he did.

"i think," seokmin said, clearing his throat when the words came out weak. he looked to you, then to jeonghan. "i think this is the best birthday i've ever had."

jeonghan laughed. "we haven't even had the pizza yet."

[niallloverontheloose]

“Stop ignoring or sidelining Scott McCall when he is the true alpha and the main fucking character of Teen Wolf!”

LOL the fuck is Scott/Posey Stans’ problem https://scintalla.tumblr.com/post/650697822782586880/i-am-really-done-with-the-tw-fandom-i-mean-this

https://scintalla.tumblr.com/post/650260868277370880/scott-mccall-is-not-dumb

@scintalla:

I am really done with the TW fandom. I mean, this post isn’t about ALL fans of Teen Wolf but the majority have just ruined my experience in this fandom. Keep in mind that these are my opinions which I’m sharing and not a personal attack on anyone. So here’s why I’m fed up with both the fandom and even the show to an extent:

1) The hatred towards Scott McCall is just appalling. I genuinely can’t think of a reason why anyone would hate this precious ray of sunshine who is always trying to protect everyone. Like is a 16 year old and doesn’t know everything about being a werewolf the second he was bitten? *Lol, he’s so ‘dumb’.* Doesn’t immediately trust Derek because he has no reason to? *Poor Derek Scott is such a 'meanie’* Doesn’t abandon Allison the moment Derek tells him to because the latter is a stranger and Allison doesn’t even know about her family being hunters? *Everything is Scott’s 'fault’.* Makes a masterplan to defeat Gerard and save everyone? *Fandom shrugs and continues to make everything about Stiles* His ex girlfriend dies in his arms? *Fandom cries a tear and moves on to fawn on Void! Stiles* Saves everyone in the show, becomes the true alpha from the merit of his character *Fandom closes its eyes and fawns over one liners that Stiles threw* Literally dies and is attacked by his best friend for not saving his father when he was DEAD? *Poor Stiles, Scott is such a bad friend. Why can’t he just do everything according to how Stiles wants him to? Who cares that even Stiles himself trusted Theo and confided in him only about having to kill Donovan and never clarifies to Scott that he did it in self defense.* Like I can go on and on about how much of Scott’s trauma and pain are shrugged off because of fandom’s obsession with Stiles and even the show makes it appear as if it was Scott’s fault somehow that he died and couldn’t save Stiles’ father. I’m so tired. Tyler Posey was so good at playing Scott and his performance is ignored by 99.99% of the fandom.

2) KIRA YUKIMURA DESERVED BETTER! She was treated so badly by both the fandom AND the show! People were continually comparing her and Allison even though Allison was okay with Scott moving on and even teamed up with Kira in 'De- Void’ episode. And why can’t Scott move on? Allison wouldn’t have wanted Scott to mope over her forever. And Kira’s story and character development are thrown in trash and she isn’t even mentioned in season 6! Like, I’m not mad that she chose herself over Scott because it’s okay but they could have spent AT LEAST five minutes to talk about Kira and where she was and how she was doing. And the fandom’s unwarranted dislike of her even though the show had made it clear that she isn’t Allison’s 'replacement’ or whatever reasons people use to justify their hatred of her. Like she is a sweetheart, her relationship with Scott was cute and healthy and she doesn’t deserve any hate thrown towards her. Arden Cho portrayed her so well and I hate that she was treated like this by both fandom and writers of the show.

3) Malia Tate is treated so badly by the fandom that even I was surprised by the venom hurled towards her. Malia spent eight years as a coyote, so obviously she doesn’t know how to handle complex human emotions that even teenagers struggle with. And she does better than expected . She is not an 'unsupportive’, 'abusive’ girlfriend that toxic Stydia (i.e. not ALL stydia shippers, only the toxic ones) shippers make her out to be. She even figured out that Stiles had killed Donovan in self defense and said she didn’t judge him for it. And what did she get in return? She was ditched by her boyfriend for her efforts. And no, it’s not toxic that she was jealous of Lydia and Stiles because she was just dumped and wasn’t given closure over it, so obviously she isn’t going to be okay that her boyfriend was moving on so quickly. Like it’s not ideal but it’s not the worst thing. And even if you don’t ship stalia, you have no reason to hate on her. Just ship your ship and leave others who don’t agree with your personal opinion alone.

I haven’t even scratched the tip of the iceberg but these were the only ones that came to my mind. The blatant sexism and racism from the fans really saddens me and I wouldn’t be so mad if actors like Tyler Posey, Arden Cho, Shelley Hennig etc.. weren’t hated on for doing their literal jobs. Like, I’m not telling you to hate Stiles or Derek (which is impossible as it is when it comes to TW fandom) or tell you to stop shipping Sterek and Stydia (There’s nothing wrong with the ships inherently but I wish its stans weren’t so hell bent on making everything in TW about their ship). Only that you stop hating poc, female characters for no valid reasons and stop excusing your white faves’ problematic actions because they cried about it once or whatever. Like no wonder why white men are able to get away with the worst shit while poc and women suffer for no fault of theirs and hated on for things they can’t control; like their race or gender.

//

“I’M NOT TELLING YOU TO LIKE SCOTT AND HATE STILES AND DEREK” Antis screech at the top of their ragged lungs as they proceed to hate Stiles and Derek for daring to eclipse their whiny fav Scott from day one without even trying, throw a temper tantrum because everyone – including the whole Teen Wolf cast and their bitter flop fav Tyler Posey himself – prefers Stiles and Derek to Scott, and go out of their delusional way to twist and/or erase canon in order to blame Stiles and Derek for Scott’s own canonical toxic actions and behavior.

I also luv the way they try to paint Tyler Posey as a poor mistreated, sidelined, discriminated victim and pretend to give a shit about Arden Cho and Kira Yukimura as if Posey hasn’t been texting Jeff Davis begging his buddy to give him a job for the past five years and didn’t refer to Kira as “a good distraction for Scott”

@scintalla post is another proof that Scott Stans never watched an episode of the actual show:

“Scott makes a masterplan to defeat Gerard and saves everyone? Fandom shrugs and continues to make everything about Stiles”

Except that Scott didn’t save anyone in Master Plan – Stiles, Peter and Lydia did – and failed to kill Gerard. The only thing Scott achieved with his dumb excuse of a plan was prompting his buddy Gerard to order the Kanima to slaughter everyone in the warehouse, including Scott.

“His ex girlfriend dies in his arms? Fandom cries a tear and moves on to fawn over Void Stiles”

Did you notice how Scott/Posey Stans, just like Tyler Posey and Jeff Davis, try to make Allison’s heroic death all about Scott? Also: the Teen Wolf fandom can call the show writers out for shitting on Allison and making her heroic death all about her toxic ex boyfriend AND fawn over Stiles and Void Stiles at the same time. Just saying 😘

“Scott saves everyone in the show, becomes the true alpha from the merit of his character” Lmfao sure Jan! Like, everyone knows Jeff Davis came up with that true alpha nonsense last minute just to make his self insert Scott a little less irrelevant. But go off I guess

“Who cares that even Stiles himself trusted Theo and confided in Scott only about having to kill Donovan and never clarifies to Scott that he did it in self defense”

1) Stiles never trusted Theo. Theo himself had no problem admitting that Stiles was smart enough not to trust him. Unlike Scott, who fell for Theo’s cheap lies and got played by Theo like a cheap kazoo throughout Season 5 #Oops

2) Scott is neither Stiles’ dad, alpha, nor authority figure. Stiles is not obligated to share his traumas with a toxic friend if he doesn’t want to

3) Scott’s the one who yells “B-b-but it is not self defense anymore!” at Stiles in Lies of Omission

“I can go on and on about how much of Scott’s trauma and pain are shrugged off because of fandom’s obsession with Stiles… Tyler Posey was so good at playing Scott and his performance is ignored by 99.99% of the fandom”

If Scott/TP Stans are so butthurt that everyone is in love and obsessed with Stiles and Void Stiles instead of paying attention to superior true alpha Scott, then why don’t they take their jealousy and frustrations out on Posey? Tyler Posey is just as in love and obsessed with Dylan O’Brien, Stiles and Void Stiles as everyone else is (if not more.)

As for @scintalla & Scott McCall defense squad circle jerk whining and throwing a tantrum cause “Posey’s performance got ignored”, well… they should be fucking grateful everyone – including critics, fans, viewers, the whole Teen Wolf cast, and Posey himself – were too busy praising and gushing all over Star & Breakout Star of the show Dylan O’Brien’s phenomenal acting talent to pay attention to Tyler Posey’s cringe worthy attempts at acting