#with a note saying “idk if you're nonbinary or not but I wanted you to have this to remember me by”

[lapwinghosty]

it's not exactly misgendering either in intention, but if you don't like it you don't like it and that's very understandable, especially if you are trans.

I get what you're referring to overall wrt playful and casual de-gendering especially in queer and gender minority spaces, just want to point out that ime it can be quite difficult or not actually practically possible to parse whether it's even intended as playful or a threat. since it's just the norm to not give a shit about trans womens feelings about this, (or even really think of us as having an internal life/thoughts and feelings at all) when you're inundated constantly by dude/bro/man/buddy/brah/etc. as the default and usually can't escape it with any degree of explanation or signification, and you know from experience that even gently correcting someone (yes including a lot of tme people who will tell you to your face while you are clearly very upset "it's no big deal bro") as politely, acceptably and inoffensively as you can, you literally risk losing jobs, getting ghosted, entire friendships, being cast out of a room or social scene (yes including queer spaces), risk a romantic partner burning your whole life down, being once again cast as The Hysterical Tranny, etc. it takes on a radically different quality. it's not just preference. it doesn't feel like a preference to me. it feels like one of the bare minimum costs-you-literally-nothing things that people can do to make spaces that trans women feel a little more comfortable in and not just temporarily tolerated or unsafe. It's so simple, just ask first, and respect the answer, there's no need to assume and nothing is lost in asking first.

also worth noting that while tme people do use this as playful de-gendering with each other, a lot of times that is not actually applied the same way with tma people in practice. with each other they will use it sometimes, like a little playful accentuation but typically not all the time, and if another tme person ask them to not use masc terms for them usually that's respected without any issue, let alone throwing a whole tantrum. with dolls it's often noticeably wayyy more frequently and when heaven forbid one of us dares mentions it, all the sudden it's a whole Thing. not infrequently they will exclusively use masc or gender neutral terms for tma people, especially if the person is both trans fem and nonbinary, no matter what we say or do <- more specifically the gender power hierarchy determines a priori who is granted self determination to alter and articulate how they are referred to, and whether they are gendered/de-gendered and the subtleties of that, and ultimately who is or is not even allowed to speak about it at all [then to protect itself, as profoundly effective power does, dips into the void of obscurity and inarticulation, upon any attempt to illuminate, illustrate, or grasp it; see agamben's analysis of Law in homo saccer for more detail]

idk all of this is just speaking from my own experience and convos here and there, this got pretty rambly ig

saw a useful post about this that's unrebloggable for me but yeah, cis women do use dude/bro/man/guys and other masculine-leaning terms for one another regularly and some conversations that have happened online about this have missed the mark.

My mom and I have called one another "dawg" since I was in middle school. the people I am most likely to use dude/bro for are cis women that I have known since my teen years and we all called one another those things all our lives as "girls." When I am called dude or bro by a woman (either cis or trans) it has a distinctly different impact than when a guy does it --the former reflects a relaxed closeness that allows for the standard gender performativity among us to drop, whereas the latter reflects those boundaries being continually maintained.

I do not think it is fair to call this a gender neutral usage, I think it is more similar to the gay use of "girl" and she/her pronouns. It is a recognition of the gendered complexity inside of a person that you also share things in common with, as a show of casual intimacy. it is a release from the bonds of performing femininity when women do it to one another. and it can be used in a similarly familiar way with some gay men and other gender minorities.

all that said, i know that i still personally felt some time of way about being referred to with she/her pronouns by my fellow gay men when i was early into transition. intellectually i understood that what it signified was familiarity, but in practice i did not at the time want the words applied to me. now i am rooted firmly enough in my queer manhood and live as a queer man so completely that it's second nature for me to refer to other men as "girl" or use she/her for them and i like it when the same is done to me. but you know, far be it for me to tell a woman that she has to be okay with being called dude. it isn't gender neutral. it's not exactly misgendering either in intention, but if you don't like it you don't like it and that's very understandable, especially if you are trans.

[cottoncandysprite]

Anyway in good news one of my 6th graders gave me a nonbinary charm bracelet today and I nearly cried 🥹

[imjunebitch]

i think that some people in the queer community need to learn the difference between tolerance vs. acceptance/support.

a lot of the sentiment "in support" of weird queers is really just tolerant of them. idk how many times ive seen posts like "lesboys/multigender folks/people with neopronouns/whatever might be cringe, but they're better than exclusionists! let kids be cringe!" and like. you have to see that this isn't actually supportive. it's tolerant, sure, and that's better than outright exclusion but... ok.

I don't think any of those groups are cringe. i think they're wonderful and beautiful.

i think it's awesome that transmasc folks can hold on to the label of lesbian if they like. he/him lesbians have been around for a long time. historically, some lesbians have taken testosterone, used nonbinary and masculine pronouns, preferred masculine terms... that isn't gonna stop because some people decided it's specifically cringe when transmascs do it! im mostly sapphic, and I'm fucking proud to stand with my sapphic sisters, brothers, and siblings!

multigender and genderfluid people are awesome as fuck. therians are cool as fuck. i love boygirls and fagdykes and girlfags and girlboys and genderfuckery of all kinds. don't let people treat you like a kid for wanting an identity of that kind. fuck em, you're great.

neopronouns are cool as fuck too. i keep hearing people saying that everyone who uses them is a kid, and that's sinister shit. you hear it on both sides too. exclusionists say it derisively, and people who think they're being supportive say it to defend them... but it's really, genuinely cool. people want to act like being nonbinary is only one experience, and that we have gone from there being only two genders to there now being a third gender, which is called nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns. but hey, fuck that sentiment in particular. gender is a spectrum, and it makes total fucking sense for people to want to create pronouns and terms to describe their own experiences! hell yeah!

you hear a lot of "well, these people are just kids, we should give them a space to learn," or "they're not doing anything wrong i guess," but these are not genuinely supportive statements! so how's this: I fucking love all of these people, and i hope our community gets more of them. I pray for a day when they outnumber the grim, humorless exclusionists who want to gatekeep acceptance by the thousands. fuck exclusionists, pride is for everyone.

(pre-emptive note: no this post isn't for MAPs or radqueers or anyone like that, obviously, grow up. hurting and preying on defenseless people/animals is obviously not a valid identity, don't even try to compare those things.)

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey cas...........so this is super duper personal so you 1000% do not have to respond to this but um here you go:

i am 18, afab, transmasc transnonbinary and i have to go see a gynecologist bc my body isn't functioning correctly (i get my period for too long too frequently and lose a lot of blood). now i don't typically experience dysphoria about things like my period bc it's just something that happens and wtv, but lately idk if it's dysphoria or just general icky frustration bc my body is not regulating itself and i can't control it. anyway, the whole point of the ask was to ask you if you've been to a gyn and what are some things that helped you feel more comfortable about your body and things you can't control. (and if you don't want to answer any of it or some of it or wtv, i totally understand. this is a super invasive and personal ask and i just thank you for even reading it.

all that aside: i love all of your works, esp trans!regulus! thank you so much for being the aunt of the marauders fandom and just being an amazing person in general!!! sending you so much love to you and your family through the holidays!!!!

Hi!

I have been to a gynecologist, I go every year. I've actually been going since I was 13 because I have PCOS so I've had a lot of issues with my cycle (such fun).

I'm going to put a 'read more' here because I'm sure many people don't want to hear me go on about the OBGYN for ages lol

I think the first thing I'd suggest is to be picky, if you can. I know that's not always possible, depending on your country, insurance, etc, but if it's possible to look into the gyn's policies when it comes to LGBTQIA+ patients, first-time patients, etc and pick a doctor that is accepting in that way, it makes a huge difference.

Along with that, before you go to the appointment, research what to expect. Before my first appointment, I read about exactly what would happen. I wasn't thrilled about everything I read, but I wasn't surprised at all, which was very comforting. Knowing what is coming can also prepare you to know what to ask for. For example, if you don't like hearing certain words for certain body parts, you can ask the doctor to avoid using those words and instead use others.

At the appointment, it's very important to be honest about how you're feeling. The nice thing is, gynecologists have better bedside manner than the average doctor, because they work with pregnant people, so if you're honest about feeling uncomfortable, they'll be more likely to listen. Say how you're feeling, ask questions about what is happening, and as weird as it feels, be very honest. I have had some VERY weird conversations with my gynecologist and there has been no judgement. Trust me when I say they have seen and heard EVERYTHNG, so it is much better to be honest. Along with this, if the doctor is NOT helpful or kind at any point, remember that you STILL have the power to remove consent. You have control over your body. You can tell them to stop, ask for a different doctor, or decide to go to a completely different office. You can ask why something is necessary, or refuse a treatment even if the doctor tells you that you should not. You have control over your body.

After any sort of check-up, make sure to ask questions about the suggested treatment. Ask questions about things that matter to you. For me, I always ask about how new medications might affect my weight, my estrogen and testosterone levels (because I am nonbinary and I don't want my estrogen too high), my mood, and my blood sugar (I am diabetic).

Most importantly, remember that you are NOT a bother. Whatever questions you ask, whatever hesitations you voice, however many times you need to correct people on pronouns or anything like that, you are NOT a bother. This is your health and it is extremely important.

Two more things: if you feel like a doctor isn't listening to you, at any office, ask for the doctor to note their decision in your chart. A written note of their decision can often cause them to suddenly be willing to do more for you. And...how do I say this without saying it. If you need to get a physical exam from a gynecologist and you are worried about...sizes of devices used for the exam? Some gynecologists have a smaller version of the device that you can request. I hope that makes sense...

Good luck! And if you have specific questions about what an appointment is like, you're welcome to DM me! I'll let you know if the questions are too invasive.

[hollow-lime-green]

i have been summoned by the utterance of my name ("top/bottom anon")

just wanted to say i super agree with what you said about how people want very badly to be fucked by gojo and that may make some (SOME) of them hostile toward the idea of him liking men + potentially taking it up the ass. may be speculation, but it's a conclusion ive also come to so you're not alone

"gojo would NEVER be gay you guys just want everybody to be GAY and im NOT homophobic but he is too MANLY AND ATTRACTIVE to be gay!!" not only does it imply he wouldn't be into dear reader, but like you said, it challenges the masculinized idea of him that many might have.

(which bothers me in its own right, because to Me, that's never seemed much like a guy who cares, in his adulthood. certainly not after his gage-wearing, long hair having, painted nails, empath emo best friend changed his life. then again, i enjoy hitting my faves with just a dash of nonbinary swag, so im biased surely)

along similar lines, there's also the other side of the fandom, the male-dominated shounen bro side. including the guys with 100% totally not gay man-crushes on gojo. not that the average member of that side of the community is even aware of t/b discourse but. many of them (but not all, in a few fun and surprising instances) will die on the hill that gojo likes girls despite the fact that there's not really much reason to believe that --- ntm people who like girls And boys do in fact exist. and they Definitely reject the idea that he could be anything but masculine and dominant. they want to relate to gojo and see themselves in him, admire his strength and collectedness, very sigma, so by shipping satosugu you're challenging THEIR masculinity. because if gojo's not "man enough" then neither are they and that would just be a travesty

but real machismo is Taking It like a man‼️💪 what are you afraid of some dick in the ass or something? idk man that sounds real feminine....... kinda gay if u ask me

- ☁️

yeah, you nailed it, this is what i was getting at.

these are the ways that even fujos (fujos in name only (FINOs?)) can be super guilty of perpetuating toxic masculinity. hit that with a dash of bisexual erasure and internalized homophobia, et voila, you have your shitstorm in a teacup.

(and of course, this does not apply to all self-shippers. i know there's some gojoxreader pegging fanfic out here on tumblr, and thank god for that)

i also want to note that this particular flavor of bigotry is very "it hurt itself in its confusion". even today we still have right wing influencers saying "WAP is concerning my wife's pussy is never wet", "sex shouldn't last longer than 3 minutes or ur gay", and "i'd never perform cunnilingus, cunnilick deez NUTS".

a man, especially a cis man, being open to sexual experimentation, especially that which goes against cishet conservative norms, is a green flag. not only in terms of how likely he is to consider female sexual satisfaction, but also more broadly in terms of his ideas on gender/sexuality, or openness to new ideas. if you want gojo satoru (fictional, by the way) to having the freak sex i see in these fanfics (/pos), then you must accept that he'd also probably be open to taking it up the ass (at least once, to try it).

sexual liberation means sexual liberation for women. it also must mean sexual liberation for men. (and, of course, all who fall between)

[transgenderpolls]

I also want to say this as a transmasculine nonbinary person that I’ve seen a LOT of trans men be uncomfortable with the term being universalised to include them. Transmasculine started out as a nonbinary label (I think, I could be mixed up) that described enben who were transitioning to a more masculine point instead of a neutral one. Obviously trans men can use transmasculine if they feel like it fits, but still I think it’s best to not just lump us together with the label because there are so many trans men who aren’t comfortable with it (I’ve actually seen a lot of people saying that it straight up makes them dysphoric because they take it as being seen as less of a man)

Same goes for non-transmasculine afab nonbinary people— there’s actually a lot of people calling to just get rid of the terms because they see it as just an indicator of agab. I’ve actually encountered more transneutral afab enben who hate being called transmasculine than I have trans men who hate it. It makes sense, the entire point for transneutral enben is transitioning to some sort of complete middle, or outside of gender alltogether, and aligning them with a specific gender is not only just incorrect but also very uncomfortable and dysphoria inducing for a lot of them. A lot of people also really don’t like the idea of t being ‘transmasculine transition’, which I totally get because I feel the same way when someone says that t is inherently ‘male transition’

(btw this is all stuff I’ve heard from these groups, I’m not just saying what I think goes through their heads or anything)

On a personal note, I also don’t like the universalisation of it because it feels like aligned enben can’t really have a term to describe ourselves— like, being a transmasc or transfem nonbinary person is a very complicated experience, most of us really struggle with this sort of balancing act of androgyny and maleness/femaleness, we’re like an in-beteeen of an in-between and it’s really fucking hard to deal with. It would just be nice if we could have our own label and space to discuss it and help each other with it. But I also get that now a lot of trans men resonate with the term and it would very much be a dick move to just say ‘nope, you can’t use this anymore, fuck you lol’, like, no

idk, I think about this a lot and the topic comes up quite frequently so I have a lot to say on it, but I can’t exactly articulate it, so I hope this made sense sorry

if anyone has sources to show otherwise i'd be happy to see them but i've always been under the impression that "transmasc(uline)" and "transfem(inine)" were umbrella terms first and foremost, with origins in the world of medical transitioning, particularly HRT, that sought specifically to include non-binary people and therefore not imply that everyone going through [medical] masculinization or feminization necessarily identifies as a man or a woman. whether the end goal is conceptualized by the individual as a masc/fem role, it's just a matter of having useful, succinct language to describe shared experience. i really don't see it as denoting agab any more than the term "trans man/woman" does. like if you really are not comfortable denoting your agab at all, it sounds like you're not comfortable talking about being trans period.

as for the binary trans men who hate it i'm gonna be real, i cannot comprehend being mad about someone using an umbrella term simply to address you and others who have significant things in common with you in one breath. i'm a binary trans man and i won't lie, i have had my phase of whining about being "lumped in with non binary people," but like... that's what it was. it was a phase that i'm over because i've grown up and now realize that it doesn't actually dilute my identity to simply have things in common with other people. it would be like a square being mad about being called a rectangle because "you're erasing the fact that i am SPECIFICALLY a square!" literally no, no one is erasing anything. especially not in the context of a poll that's just trying to not draw really arbitrary lines, and which you also literally don't have to answer.

i think it's completely valid to be made dysphoric or uncomfortable by any terminology, but there's a point at which you kind of have to accept that that is a you thing? if a term's literal function is to be inclusive and you feel excluded somehow bc you don't like that you're not being acknowledged as fundamentally different than the others who that term applies to... like i'm sorry, that's kind of ridiculous. you have to accept that it's ridiculous and not anyone else's problem.

also i truly think that if it's coming to contentions such as "just because i'm a man doesn't mean i'm masculine" or ppl otherwise trying to draw hard lines between masc and man/male as definitions... i truly think you are just trying to make this more complicated than it is. like we do need words to describe things, lol.

in any case my thing - at least on this blog - is always gonna be in the context of making polls. firstly i'm working with a character and option limit. secondly, the questions being asked make it sometimes relevant to use some terms that lump groups together, denote agab, etc. the more i think about it, i don't think there's going to be a solution that satisfies everyone, and i also don't think that there's a huge problem with that.

(btw none of this is directed at anon, you articulated yourself fine, i'm just jumping off of your talking points)

edit: irt anon not liking the universalization of "transmasc" - it just occurred to me, would "transmasc nonbinary" not simply work? like it seems to me that you just need to add the word nonbinary and now you're gucci

[spacelazarwolf]

I think maybe the example given is whats confusing/upsetting people?

I mean yes visibly gnc and trans have very different and often more dangerous experiences! I agree with all of your points and I think its something that needs to be talked about.

But I also can see why people aren't vibing with it? I had to read a few times to get it. The example kind of implies that there are no reasons that a cis-passing afab nonbinary person would want to go to a trans-friendly place besides them feeling more oppressed than they actually are. But like maybe they just want to help support those places, or be around inclusive people, or maybe they're wanting a more gnc haircut and they think that place would be good to get it (to use the haircut example). It just comes off a bit like they're saying the only valid reason to go to trans-friendly business is if you're in danger of violence? And idk like the other person said how do you know just from a photo what that person is thinking/feeling?

Though again this is something that should be discussed and people are ignoring the overall message bc their focusing on the one part which is another issue.

I know the op was frustrated and maybe the wording just isnt the best for what they actually mean, and ik that like they're talking abt a very specific type of person/situation. And also i dont think imperfect language should automatically discount a topic from conversation. Just wanted to share why I think people are getting upset, but I dont wanna like derail the post bc maybe im just overthinking it

nah i get it. i was hesitant to reblog the post at first as well, but i think they bring up a very good point about like. less visibly marginalized demographics of white trans people trying to center themselves in discussions about transphobia that they don’t have experience with. it’s hard to talk abt bc some ppl are so quick to go “and therefore fuck theyfabs they aren’t really oppressed!!!!!!!” bc that’s bullshit. but it grinds my gears every time a thin white femme presenting nonbinary person who lives in like seattle tells me i’m privileged for being a man and couldn’t possibly understand the pain of *checks notes* being misgendered and having people assume you’re a woman when you’re not. (as if that isn’t something i literally still deal with????)

[bloodycyrano]

So.. The blood dragon armor essentially stays in my inventory for the entirety of origins because my HOF is a rogue (I can't live without lockpicking), and I pre-ordered Veilguard because I am an obsessive little goblin with hundreds of hours in the franchise. (NOTE: I haven't actually been able to play DATV because my PC crashes every time I get out of character creator.)

My Rook is a warden and a warrior class; whom I headcannon as having been mentored by the Hero of Ferelden.

I've decided their name is Revenant because when they came out as nonbinary, my HOF took them to their private quarters at the peak and helped them pick a name. When she asked Rook what they wanted their new name to be, they didn't know. So she asked what they envisioned themself as when they fight.

The real answer was always the warden commander herself.. But Rev couldn't say that. So instead, they envisioned the most devastating being they could. One that in an odd way, they admired.

"A revenant"

They remembered the first time they saw one, after coming to the peak.. Rev almost died in that fight after hitching a ride in the wardens caravan when they had been told to stay put. Rook never did listen..

"Well, Rev.. If you're going to fight like a revenant, you better be equipped like one. I've held onto this for years.. A very strong warrior wore this armor once, when I ended the blight. A dear friend of mine, Sten.. I hope you will always wear the crest of the grey wardens, mind you. But this armor is yours now."

Idk, this might be stupid, but I love this idea so much.

[needledreamweaversrpgideas]

hi. i want to know things. do you consider yourself one of the below categories, and if so do you call yourself the word queer or not.

a note: this is ONLY about whether or not YOU call YOURSELF this. this is not asking if you are okay with OTHER PEOPLE calling you the word queer.

(i am going to assume if you are ok with other people calling you that than you are ok with/Do call Yourself it? but i know stuff is situational sometimes. that will be its own question in a followup poll i think)

category 1: participation in genders

i'm saying just "genders" instead of "not cis" to include both fully binary trans people, nonbinary people, and agender people (-> people who are never their first gender) and also fluid gender stuff + multiple gender stuff where people are sometimes their first gender and so they're sometimes cis and stuff. also system shit where people have multiple genders and it gets complicated and stuff

this is also to include people who Used To Gender and now have detransitioned/desisted/etc but still feel Weird about calling themselves cis again or still calling themselves not cis. you don't have to worry about it we love and support you here

(yes it is funny to include the "my gender is i don't have it" in the "i have/participate/used to participate in genders" category but idk where else i would put that.)

category 2: same-sex and/or same-gender attraction

are you gay are you lesbian are you homosexual. are you bi are you pan are you any of the other multisexual ones (omni and poly (i think that one's spelled ply to differentiate it from polyamory??? idk it's got a cute candy colored flag tho).

do you experience attraction to people who are in any of the same categories as you, exclusively to that category or including that and others?

(exclusively vs inclusively is like. the difference between lesbian and sapphic. between gay™ and achillean. etc. i know there's words for "nbLnb Only" adn "nbLnb but not only nb" but i don't remember what they are)

category 3: aro and/or ace spectrum

and now for the "do you have attraction to anybody at all lol" category. both this category and the previous one count under "not straight" but i like it when things are specific so i'm differentiating them.

there's no room for "i am completely cisgender heterosexual heteromantic" as its own two options ( @ tumblr up the question limit again) so if you are that and you want to leave input about whether or not you call yourself the word queer for any reason i will read the tags?

hopefully this is worded in as polite and inclusive a way as possible. if you're an asshole on this post i'll block you this is for KNOWLEDGE purposes not DISCOURSE. i did enough of that in 2016 i'm old and tired and there's no point to fighting about it online. go donate money to planned parenthood stand up for people's rights in person that's more important than yelling at people on the internet

[yesmissnyx]

just something to note from your last poll… personally as a binary trans person i find it uncomfortable to be grouped with nonbinary people as opposed to cis people. because to me as a binary trans man i am a man the same way a cis man is, but not necessarily in the same way a nb man is. idk how others feel about it but to me it just feels othering, saying that we’re any different gender-wise. it would probably just be safer to have two more options, just an fyi :) also not meant to be any hate towards the nb options!! sorry if this is worded weird lol its late

Okay so. As a disclaimer, this might come off as condescending or snappish, but as a queer (vagueness intentional) in my 30s who's seen all kinds of identity discourse rise and fall since the 00s...I have a lot of feelings about orthodox terminology.

So. Forgive me if I'm being needlessly spicy.

It's going behind a cut, since this isn't the kind of energy I want on this blog, and I'm likely going to delete this later because I don't need T//er/fs and Tr//usc//um crawling around here if they find it 😤

This might be controversial, but I meant the slash as an and/or.

Because for me, and a lot of others, transness (and nonbinariness) IS inextricable from our binary gender experience.

I've known (and know) multiple people who identify as trans, nonbinary, AND male/female. (Myself included, depending on the day, weather, how the stars are aligning, etc. FYI.)

And...I think it's important to remember that something like a simple, quick-and-dirty poll like the one I ran...just plain isn't going to encompass the tapestry of how everyone experiences gender. And like? I think that's fine.

Expecting everyone (trans or cis or otherwise) to always express Gender Stuff in a way that fits OUR personal needs is, IMO, unproductive at best. And invalidating/hurtful at worst.

Not to mention, it's impossible. I'm not saying we can't try to be nice and accommodating toward others, but there is no simple set of rules that everyone has agreed on.

We can make requests and enforce our own boundaries, but the uncomfortable fact is that we all have our own needs, and those needs often compete.

Something that causes euphoria in one person is going to cause dysphoria in another. We all experience our transness differently, especially including the words we use to describe our experiences.

I certainly don't think the added "trans" in front of man/woman makes someone less of a man/woman. The same way I don't think lumping oneself in with nonbinary men/women does either.

Like...if you ID as a man/woman, you're a man/woman. If you ID as trans...you're trans. I separated out an individual NB option specifically because it excludes the male/female aspect, rather than includes it. (And that's not to say it even includes all the myriad nonbinary options out there, as well as people who don't use NB as an umbrella, etc.)

It's complicated. Intersectionality is complicated. Far more complicated than I'm qualified to get into, save for citing my own experiences and the experiences that have been shared with it.

Aaaand, that's all I'm going to say! Because this is something I can get really heated about, and I'm not about to go off in my happy feel-good horny time space any more than I already have!

[localplaguenurse]

Hello it's me again here to yell at you some more about gold as ginkgo because WHAT IS YOUR WRITING???? OMG I'm at ch23 already and so much has happened fcvhbjknklml amazing storytelling!!

Now this is gonna get a biiiit personal mayhaps sorry if that makes you uncomfy maybe?? But I just want to express how much I *adore* the way you portray the protag's anxiety and particularly the internal conflict of coming out of a toxic relationship.

this paragraph, this one in particular got me literally crying. I kid you not I started weeping and then went to talk to my besties because it's so real it hit me so hard. I'm sorry many people can relate of course but I in particular I'm just coming out (~5 months or so) of a 12+ year old toxic relationship and I've been struggling SO HARD, really so hard. And that made me feel validated, that made me feel like yes it's a thing it's normal. (I too had straight up panic attacks that left me with hands shaking and crying)

It looks eerily a lot like something I'd told my best friend weeks ago

anyway idk I just want to say your writing is amazing, the pacing, the characterization. I love that wifey doesn't just "get over" things or "get better" int he way it's usually portrayed, it's organic and slow and she falls back into negative thoughts and stutters and gets anxious but they ARE getting better in the little things, in the confidence, in the healing, in the feeling comfortable.

And it's not just that, the social anxiety, the nonbinary struggle, the feel that you're annoying others and have to be hyper independent never asking for help. I may not fully relate to all of them but you do make them important on the story and I feel like you portray them all so well.

And Gods, Morax/Zhongli is so nice lmao <3 need me a partner like that //hit that is SUPER self-indulgent love it. He's all kind and patient and loving and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ;w; I love him your honor <3<3<3

Aaaaanyway loved their outing to the city, love Li Lei's character, loved wifey slowly growing out of their shell, love Morax fucking crashing injured in the middle of the night during a storm and Xiao and the panic and everything, the whole dealing with the Abbes CHILL MAN LITERALL CHILLS OMG. Love the golden smoke yes it is your signature ehe <3

(as a side note, I remember a lot of chapters ago this scene with Morax commenting about a storm incoming and then dissapearing and I was like.... is this some weird ass mandela effect or am I crazy bc I specifically remember this lore of dragons getting horny during the rain but NAAAHHH NO WAY the fic isn't going on that direction Crys pls chill your horny brain BUT THEN HAHAHAHA GUESS WHO WAS LOWKEY RIGHT??? I DID READ EYE OF THE STORM TOO TO BE FAIR. Also on the same line of my horny brain so sorry for this but wigey being so asdfcvhbnjmk about praise and compliment has me going PRAISE KINK PRAISE KINK MORAX PLS!!!!//HIT)

ok that's enough this got way too long I apologize I got emotional n cried again I LOVE YOUR FIC!!!!!

I am going to get emotional, I'm getting the like heavy feeling in my eyes of "oh tears! may be soon!"

I'm also gonna get a little personal because it also ties in with the fic and just, y'know, if we're sharing then I'm gonna share too.

I've said numerous times that wifey's experiences with anxiety stem from my own. I was also writing this fic during a few very difficult parts of my life so I really leaned HARD into those aspects of their character. Something I also mentioned a few times is that I used to write stuff on wattpad, I got burnt out, and then I didn't post fic for five years (which now that I think of it, technically not true because I did post some things on amino back in high school, but y'know). I never really stopped writing, though. Gave me room to experiment and because I'm A) a lifelong fan of the dark and macabre (even though I'm actually a bit of a chicken baby), and B) very depressed/anxious, naturally I leaned more into darker writing. I liked to make it a point of writing happy endings but I would put my charcters through the fucking wringer.

I was also a huge people pleaser in high school that didn't know how to make friends aside from the ones I already had. You can imagine how fucking devastated I was when one day, fuckin completely out of the blue, I was booted from my friend group. I only had like five friends and I kept two of them after that shit. One of those friends was a girl I had known since first grade. For the next two years right up until covid hit I was like "well fuck, Charlotte, guess you've only got two friends now. It's only a matter of time before they get sick of you too." It took me maybe a year for me to realize it wasn't my fault that the people I trusted turned out to be shitty, and it wasn't until like a year or two ago that I was able to actually open up and talk about that shit because I've been terrified to actually be vulnerable with people since then.

That's only like some of my damage, I've also got the eldest daughter and "ah fuck I think I'm undiagnosed neurodivergent" trauma. Two for one combo! Love it here!

So, yeah, I got pretty good at writing and specifically writing about people dealing with toxic relationships. Part of it is venting, part of it is wanting to raise awareness for these things, and part of it is just, idk, I like writing this stuff. I'll write whatever if it's interesting enough.

Anyways, thank you so much!!! There's more I could go on about but that's spoilers, so I just wanna say I'm really really happy you like what I've done! Put my heart and soul into this baby. Also yes this is horrifically self indulgent lmao, this fic was like entirely catered to me and my beta reader and apparently everyone else is into it.

I hope your day or night is well, whatever time it is where you are!

[teammaxvolume]

04 for Gamma?

A Memory That Gamma Cherishes

"Hey, you're still coming, right?"

The message on Gamma's phone sits unopened. Oh, Gamma read it, they just don't know how to answer. The question has been on their mind all morning, and time to make a decision has been running out.

"Should I go?"

There's so much that could go wrong. There could be a smaller crowd than anticipated. There could be some hateful people or pokemon, and they wouldn't be able to keep their temper in check. There could be cops there.

There could be an attack.

Gamma grabs their phone and begins to type, careful not to drag their fingers across the broken glass screen if possible. Don't need shards stuck in their thumb.

"idk"

Gamma takes a deep breath. They knew he'd reply sooner than later, might as well brace to explain themself. Sure enough, the familiar, "ding!" noise echoed in their ears, and they lifted up their phone once more.

"Cmon Gamma. Youve wanted to go to this for years. Whats the holdup??"

"Don't make fun of me for it."

"I would never" Gamma knew that was bullshit, but they were going to give him a pass this time.

"I'm scared something's gonna happen if I go. U know how people can be around here"

Oh the dreaded gray dots, signal of a message being written. The anxiety grows worse and worse every minute that passes.

"u cant be afraid to live ur life, thats how they win. thought u hated losing?"

Oh Rex really knew which buttons to push.

"This isn't the same thing as a fight in the ring."

"I know. It's more important than that, and u damn sure know that too.

We'll be walking past ur place on the way there. Lmk if u wanna come or not."

.....

Gamma stares out at the gathering crowd of people and pokemon. Seems like they didn't overestimate the number of attendees, but it's still a little overwhelming to see them all in real life. A human with a vest that says, "Volunteer," shouts instructions through a megaphone, and the crowd complies with their requests.

Gamma feels a little underdressed compared to everyone around them. There's people with glitter and makeup on their faces, flags being worn as capes, even people in full drag attire. Gamma can't help but feel a bit jealous, seeing someone with a large nonbinary flag draped over their shoulders. They want a nonbinary flag..

"You're not getting cold feet, are you Gam-Gam?" Beetle calls, the teasing nickname earning a groan from Gamma. The little Marshtomp Scolipede chuckles at their visible cringe, but a playful slap to the back of the head stops them midway. The offender, a Granbull with piercings, steps past them and puts a reassuring paw on Gamma's shoulder.

"How are you feeling?" he asks.

"I'm nervous, Rex." Gamma replies honestly.

"We're here with you." Rex says softly, as if trying not to be heard.

"Don't tell me that two of the underground's fiercest fighters are having a moment?" A high pitched voice teases, interrupting the duo. A Morgrem, perched on a Pangoro's shoulder, winks at Gamma. "You never know who might be listening, you could end up being the latest gossip!"

"You wouldn't, Roxie." Rex says. It's not a question, it's stated as a fact.

"Probably not. But Jess would!" Roxie exclaims, gently nudging the Pangoro's head, earning a laugh from Beetle and a quieter laugh from Gamma.

Jess, ignoring the tease from Roxie, fist pumps in Gamma's direction. "Seriously Gamma, you're gonna have a good time! There was sidewalk chalk last year, I know you'd go ham drawing a mural on the ground!" They enthusiastically encourage. Sidewalk chalk... not their typical medium, but Gamma makes a mental note to keep an eye out for it.

"You know, I could've painted your claws for the event," Roxie says, looking Gamma up and down. "I might have some in my bag, we could try to apply a quick coat once the parade is over."

"She painted mine pink!" Jess says, proudly showing off their claws to the group. Gamma stares at them admiringly. That specific shade of pink was a little too light for their taste, but...

"The parade's gonna start here soon," Beetle pipes in, excitedly hopping from one foot to another. "You'd better be ready for all the free mom hugs you're gonna get, Gamma!"

Gamma rolls their eyes, but honestly? Some hugs from moms didn't sound too terrible. Maybe they'd stop for one or two.

---

After the trek, which included horns from passing by cars honking at them, dirty looks from a few in the parade's path, and three stops for a hug from a kindly mother; the crowd finally dispersed at an open park. The festivities weren't over yet though, as merchants set up booths to sell their wares, food trucks lined up along the entrance, and performances were held on a large stage. The group set out a large blanket on the grass, a good distance away from the stage, but not too far as to not be able to see it.

"Just gimme like, ten minutes," Beetle said, breaking off from the group. "I wanna go talk to a Pokemon I recognized."

"In the meantime," Roxie dug through her bag for a moment before pulling out a small pouch, unzipping it and pouring the contents out onto the group's picnic blanket. "You. Need. Some. Polish!" She exclaimed, clapping with each word and singsonging the last.

"It's gotta be the hot pink," Jess suggested, holding a bottle of nail polish up to Gamma's right claw. "It screams, 'I'M VENOMOUS!'"

Gamma took in the variety of nail polish colors spread out along the blanket before agreeing that the hot pink probably was the best color for them. "This shouldn't take too long, should it?" They asked, unfamiliar with the actual process. Well, they knew the basic gist of it, but since they'd never done it before, they didn't really have a clue how long it would take.

"Just don't move around too much," Roxie says as she begins to paint, ignoring Gamma's question. Jess watches with reverent fascination, and Rex just watches the three in amusement.

"You know Gamma, I bet you'll really keep your word now." Rex says offhandedly. Gamma looks at him with confusion.

"What do you mean?"

Rex gestures at Gamma's claws. "Every promise you make now is going to be a pink-y promise!" He chuckles at his own joke as the others groan.

"You're the worst." Gamma says teasingly.

"Not my fault if you don't got a sense of humor." Rex says with a shrug.

Gamma laughs and closes their eyes, feeling the cool end of summer breeze on their face. Just taking it all in. The smell of the belgian waffles being cooked in a truck nearby, the music being played on stage as a performer danced. Not gonna lie, this was nice.

"Got you something."

Beetle's voice brought Gamma out of their momentary meditation, and glanced suspiciously at the bag they had in their hands.

"Yeah? What for?" Gamma asks, trying to get a better look at the inside of the bag.

Beetle shrugs and grins, fangs fully exposed. "Your first pride. Want me to open it, since your hands are kinda..." They gesture at Gamma's claws, and receive a nod in return. Gamma braces for what kind of terrible gag gift Beetle certainly picked up. Probably a shirt with a cheesy slogan on the front, or even a hat.

Imagine Gamma's surprise when Beetle pulls out two folded up flags, one bisexual and the other nonbinary.

"I saw you staring at them with this look on your face like, 'I WANT ONE SO BAD,' so I thought I'd go grab one from a booth. Except then I didn't know which one you wanted, so I got them both. Who says you can't wear two capes huh, I'll fight em." Beetle says as they walk behind Gamma and begin to wrap the flags around their shoulders.

"Beetle..." Gamma says in awe. They were genuinely expecting something awful, but this was.... really sweet. Beetle was usually a bit of a jokester.

"Done." Beetle says, stepping back.

"Thank you. What do I owe you for these?"

Beetle makes an offended sounding noise, and exclaims, "Nothing! It's a gift, dumbass! Just don't say I never did anything for ya!"

Gamma laughs, and takes a moment to appreciate the feeling of the pride, "capes," on their back. It felt... nice. To be open about it, to be known. It's hard to explain, but Gamma felt a sense of pride and joy wearing these. Maybe they'd incorporate them into their next match entrance.

"And guess who found where the sidewalk chalk is? They have it near the kids corner!" Beetle exclaimed, pointing in its direction. "Might wanna hurry before the entire sidewalk's colored over!"

Gamma snaps to attention and sits up straight, looking towards the kids corner. They look down at their claws, now fully covered in nail polish, and decide they're good enough. They hop up and begin to race towards the sidewalk, Beetle close behind.

"Wait!" Roxie calls out, "Your claws aren't dry yet!!"

---

That day, Gamma leaves with some messy nails, a new mural picture on their phone, and two new flags to wear proudly as they step into the ring.

[yakdeculture]

2064 Read Only Memories Review

this is going to probably be the closest thing i ever write to a negative review. i think the game is fine but the good parts of this game are uninteresting to talk about and the bad or questionable parts of this game are.

first of all i think this game basically just uses its sci fi setting and themes pretty much exclusively to talk about identity. NOTE: I AM NOT DOING AN ANTI DEI BIT OR SOMETHING i think its fine and even good that very clearly this game is trying to tell a LGBT story they are not shy at all about it just about every character in this game is nonbinary or a lesbian or trans or gay or bi or some combination of everything you can imagine i mean they even let you pick the neopronouns most people make fun of in your gender selection at the begging of the game. i think all that is great but also theres this weird disconnect in the story where like its very clearly about identity on a secondary level for all the side characters of the background story like the hybrid plotline and then like the main plotline is about ai becoming/being recognized as/gaining a sense of identity and humanity and shit and thats all great. but in my opinion when its completely obvious to anyone who even looks at the character designs that this game is "woke" as hell i think its fucking crazy that theyre still kind of like acting like they super smart and breaking the mold when they have characters basically list out which lets of pride they fall under and then still be coy about how like they very clearly wanted to draw a parallel between the hybrid plotline and real life attitudes about trans people like its like guys im not patting you on the back for reinventing transphobia as a way of showing how transphobia is bad. you are clearly okay with writing about this so idk why you're jumping through hoops like this am i suppose to be impressed you came up with what if transphobia also had a little bit of racism sprinkled in as if you both dont already know that already happens in the real world and you just said well what if the normal version wasnt really an issue but there was like a more scifi version of it. basically the same thing happens with turning and the other roms basically every time the ideas of roms gaining/having/grappling with a sense of identity they kind of act all pretentious and are like heh yeah that right we had turing briefly ponder which pronouns best suit him can you believe it. like yes actually we all can believe it. as a result a lot of the writing basically creates a vibe that i have called The McElroy Brothers' Present: Gay Snatcher(TM) Sponsored by Buzzfeed

what does help this is the dialouge system is just fucking stupid to be honest techincally speaking it opens up a few slight changes in the story in terms of which endings you can get and what puzzles you do but also they way they acomplish this is pretty much every time you are prompted to say something you have 2 or 3 choices and they are always exclusively

say something nice/positive/normal/obvious correct response

neutral/completely unhelpful option

be a dickhead for no reason and act like you didnt chose to play the game and you are begrudgingly forced to play the game like you are a teenager summoned to the family dinner when youd much rather be in your room playing your Nintendo DS and listen to my chemical romance and all time low

and to me its just a fucking stupid and boring way of doing dialouge choices. oh if youre just mean to everyone who are all basically just there to help you anyways actually they wont like you and it will have negative concequences. the main point of this system is basically if you are nice to turing you get a better ending than if you are mean to him. why would you be mean to him? hes a little annoying maybe i guess if youre like still really pissed a navi and have a trauma responce to all helper/guide character that cause you to hurt yourself and others the minute you hear anyone suggest you go do something for more than 3 seconds

anyways enough of that ultimately its still like a fine game like a 3/5 stars

[lanawinterscigarettes]

hi star anon and aeron <3

(i keep saying star anon bc it's WEIRD to say just star bc then I'm like I'm talking about myself? no I'm not.)

star anon honey, im so sorry you are going through that. in hs one of my best friends (he is gay) knew i was bi but for a while he was like idk are you sure ur not a lesbian and we got in a big fight because of it - bc i was at the point of my life where I wasn't ready to understand that about myself. i think you should set some boundaries or state explicitly that it makes you uncomfortable to be teased about your sexuality and the lesbian jokes need to stop - because its getting to the point where you are getting greatly upset. I think any decent friend would understand that!! I really feel you because a lot of my friends joke and tease me and I'm very sensitive so sometimes I cry or get upset but I've been trying to set boundaries or I change the topic

its totally okay you referred me as a women you didn't know <3 i am afab too. I don't feel she/her pronouns feel right - it feels like my blood is burning up and he/him feels like im being plunged into icy water. and I wish that I'm just a little gender neutral creature. but i don't really rebuke my sex because the world will always see me as afab and that is something I know i can't change. i prefer gender neutral terms but I don't mind stuff like girlfriend or pretty. bc boyfriend doesn't feel right on me. and sometimes I prefer masculine terms like handsome or king. so it just all depends for me ! so nonbinary is the easiest thing for me to say 😭

also it's not really tmi!! I feel talking about these things are okay and should be ❤️ it sounds like you have a lot lying in your heart so I hope you feel like this is a safe space to express yourself 🥺 it sounds like you are worrying a lot about how your family and society would view you. I'd often think that I haven't met the right guy and would never get feelings for them but for women I would so idk food for thought. and thank you I didn't know the document was hated . I just used it more of a point of reference and understanding!

also aeron i hope things are okay being in the south :( I've grown up in places where it's heavily liberal so i don't know what it's like to live there but i am sending you one person that's your type in ur direction

not the yap being so damn long dvsjdgshd I hope that was a little bit helpful i want to just give you a warm drink star anon and a big hug for you aeron (also im a nerd too so I feel ya..)

🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 🌌 just had the urge to press this a trillion times

I don't really have much to add except I agree with the advice you gave star anon, I can't do confrontation at all because I always end up crying so one time when my best friend (irl) said something that hurt my feelings I wrote him a note and gave it to him and he wrote back saying that he understood 💞 star anon you deserve to have friends that are understanding like that and respect your boundaries

I have a lot of insecurity over being trans because of society, my body issues, and growing up in a religious environment that wasn't accepting of it so I feel you star anon 🫶

I completely understand you on the gender thing, I thought I might've been genderfluid for the longest time but I think I'm just transmasc and nonbinary with extra steps haha

You're so sweet (purple) sparkle anon tysm 🤧 I'll be on the lookout for the person you sent my way 💕

[bitchkay]

Hey guys😍😍

Story time(not really but-)

So yesterday was my last say of classes for the semester so me and my friends went to dinner

Let's goooooo

And we also went outside to

SMOKE👁👁

And this was my first time- well it wasnt my first time smoking with my friends and definitely(👀👀) not my first time smoking if you know what I mean

But it wasnt just us passing around the pen ya know we weren't just hitting someone's vape outside on break cus there was no way we were getting through the rest of class sober--

We had a spliff, a blunt, a big ole doobie-- we had multiple actually we burned like 3 of those mfs

But that's not the point--

I'm sober btw

I probably sound crazy but I swear to god I'm sober

But yes it was my first time passing around the ganja with my friends(and probably wont be the last--)

Anyway the whole point of this is my... friend... that I like😳

You know the one yea

I just thought he looked so hot

Idk

I've never been so attracted to a man

A MAN‼

Me nonbinary and very much sapphic

A MAN‼

and look this isnt new, I do like men guys, yes I very much love women and girls and kissing girls but yall I go both ways-- all ways in fact, as long as you're not an asshole ive probably liked you at some point even if I have a preference for women but anyways

But yea-- also this is the same guy I've been talking about for over a year anyways--

I just thought idk the way he held the blunt and brought it to he lips was very

Attractive👁👁

Idk I thought he looked like a man😍😍

Like y'know a man😍😍

But I also might be ovulating so it could just be my hormones wanting to fuck him--

I do wanna fuck him.

Yall that's so crazy

Also-- side note, taking the bus home high was so fucking fun, I spaced the fuck out and tuned back in at random moments to my friends conversation

Also I had to walk home-- that's besides the point

Anyway

Every time someone passed him the blunt I had my eyes on him😳😳 and now I fear I was being creepy but I couldn't help it I was quite literally on drugs and he literally looked so hot to me

in my eyes at least

In gonna ask if hes ever shot gunned before--

Anyway

Yall when I got home last night (after walking literally half an hour in the dark but it was cool cus it sobered me up) I had to greet my parents and bro the way I was trying not to like breathe too hard in their direction cus I knew, I fucking knew my breath reeked of oui'd🍃🍃

[icaruskey]

What is your opinion on the recent videos by Finntastic Mr. Fox and Goddamnit Malcolm where they talk about the supposed male privilege trans men seem to have after transitioning "fully" or to the point where they are no longer perceived as anything other than cis men? Idk if you watched them or anything, but it would be cool to get your thoughts if you do

I had not watched them at the time of getting this ask, so I proceeded to watch them so I could answer to the best of my ability

Finntastic Mr. Fox So for Mr. Fox, I do find myself wholeheartedly agreeing with what he's describing, and I appreciate that he says from the start that it's men and masc people who pass as cis men who experience male privilege, as well as him explicitly pointing out that he is part of an extremely lucky few that gets this privilege.

Side note, his fucking hair and eyes holy shit.

Anyway, part of what he's describing, how trans men are still affected by misogyny, either from people weaponizing our bodies as insults against us, how many of us carry trauma relating to being seen as women and girls growing up, and how we still need access to gendered health services even if we're completely stealth. I look at that and call it transandrophobia.

The other things, how trans men who can pass will often go stealth because it's so much easier than to be out and questioned and nitpicked constantly, how they will often feel alienated from the queer community (cause let's be real white, passing men like Mr. Fox here would be heavily judged unless he chose to out himself as trans or was super gay and even then likely side-eyed because he is a passing white man). That's also transandrophobia. It's all about the intersection of being a man who is transgender and all the complications that come with it.

The whole Bahamas thing is heartbreaking. I can't imagining having to renounce part of your identity just so you can feel comfortable in your own body.

Goddamnit Malcolm Oof, you gave me a goddamn movie didn't you lol? I realize I didn't have to watch it but I wanted to answer your question.

So this video was much less structured and there a few :/ moments for me that I'm fairly certain are more from speaking in the moment than an actual disagreement from these people's values and my own. Plus we get some non-white and non-binary perspectives! Always a plus. I took some notes so I'll try and make sense of them now.

My biggest takeaways were about how there's a huge adjustment when you are perceived as the opposite gender you were raised as. I should mention that all the men here appear pass even when some of them are on the shorter side (there's only one clearly nonbinary individual on the panel). It also sounds like they all started to socially and physically transition after growing up perceived as girls and young women. Important disclaimer here because people who learn and transition younger or who cannot pass will have different experiences.

Also important, even if I don't say "seen as a cis man" every time, when I talk about passing or being seen as a man, please assume I'm talking about being seen as a cis man unless otherwise denoted.

If you're raised as a woman, especially in a more liberal household, you're taught to speak up for yourself and demand the space you deserve. Makes sense right? Generally, societally, gendered expectations means that women are meant to be submissive and quiet so you have to combat that expectation. But when you switch and are perceived as a cis man, you can be seen as aggressive and off-putting for being so pushy.

This oddly enough ties back to some of the complaints I've seen on reddit where trans men in irl circles feel like they're not allowed to speak up -- a combination of their upbringing as "women" and the perceived privilege of identifying as a man in a feminist space gives trans women more chances to talk over them. It's where I think the "socialization" argument comes into play a bit. Because we have a panel of men here talking and agreeing that they were raised to be outspoken and had to quickly learn to tone it down or were cognizant of how it could be perceived should the be seen as a man demanding space.

There's also a big thing about race. We had two non-white dudes explain how they're often seen as more aggressive now than they did when they appeared to be women, especially Victor, who mentions that white feminists are far more likely to be racist to him when he points out they're being racist. There's also talk from a majority about how weird and off-putting people found them to be mid-transition.

They also highlight a lot of problems men, cis or not, face: having to be aware they are seen as more of a creep to people on the street, the inherent distrust people have about men with children, the lack of or perceived disinterest in a community, and how queer spaces treat men. There's a little thing there about how some queer spaces are trying to combat the privilege men face by banning cis men -- which, say it with me, leads to transandrophobia. Because they're designating cis men to be men and trans men to be non-men.

This "no cis men" allowed treehouse ends up not only alienating people who desperately need a community but it's a bandage on the problem, not a solution. And it reinforces the idea that cis men don't need/deserve/desire a community and traditional toxic masculine roles.

Also also, the limited emotions that's allowed to be displayed by men, the apparent ability to use any man for physical labor -- Tranye summarizes it well when he talks about weaponizing his vanity to not be used like that. Reminds me a bit of the idea people seemed to have about trans men protecting trans women in bathrooms.

And of course, being a visibly queer trans man? A whole host of issues they understandably didn't get into.

I do like they talked about what trans men can bring into the male community. The idea of using our stories of womanhood to protect women, of forcing cis men to stand down and question their misogyny and generally gross behavior, etc. It was all good. I dislike the fact they choose to label these traits of community building, emotional expression, et al as "feminine," though it was near the end of the video and a good shorthand to say "these qualities usually associated with femininity" when you're talking on the spot.

I also didn't like the idea of "men know masculinity is fragile" just because I've talked about before that trans masculinity is fragile and there's nothing wrong with buying the "boy products" because it makes you feel good, that sort of thing. I got a video about that somewhere...

But I'll leave it with this quote from Tranye because I feel like it summarizes everything they were saying about trans masculinity, trans male privilege, and transandrophobia (though they don't use the term):

"Trans men are the trash men who have to pick up the broken pieces of masculinity."

It's a hard job and not everyone can do it, but I want to be one of those that can.

I hope that answered your question at least? Maybe once all this shit dies down IRL I'll join Malcolm's discord and see if he'd be up for talking about transandrophobia as a concept.