#And alas! I am but a filthy inclusionist whenever possible.

[yesmissnyx]

just something to note from your last poll… personally as a binary trans person i find it uncomfortable to be grouped with nonbinary people as opposed to cis people. because to me as a binary trans man i am a man the same way a cis man is, but not necessarily in the same way a nb man is. idk how others feel about it but to me it just feels othering, saying that we’re any different gender-wise. it would probably just be safer to have two more options, just an fyi :) also not meant to be any hate towards the nb options!! sorry if this is worded weird lol its late

Okay so. As a disclaimer, this might come off as condescending or snappish, but as a queer (vagueness intentional) in my 30s who's seen all kinds of identity discourse rise and fall since the 00s...I have a lot of feelings about orthodox terminology.

So. Forgive me if I'm being needlessly spicy.

It's going behind a cut, since this isn't the kind of energy I want on this blog, and I'm likely going to delete this later because I don't need T//er/fs and Tr//usc//um crawling around here if they find it 😤

This might be controversial, but I meant the slash as an and/or.

Because for me, and a lot of others, transness (and nonbinariness) IS inextricable from our binary gender experience.

I've known (and know) multiple people who identify as trans, nonbinary, AND male/female. (Myself included, depending on the day, weather, how the stars are aligning, etc. FYI.)

And...I think it's important to remember that something like a simple, quick-and-dirty poll like the one I ran...just plain isn't going to encompass the tapestry of how everyone experiences gender. And like? I think that's fine.

Expecting everyone (trans or cis or otherwise) to always express Gender Stuff in a way that fits OUR personal needs is, IMO, unproductive at best. And invalidating/hurtful at worst.

Not to mention, it's impossible. I'm not saying we can't try to be nice and accommodating toward others, but there is no simple set of rules that everyone has agreed on.

We can make requests and enforce our own boundaries, but the uncomfortable fact is that we all have our own needs, and those needs often compete.

Something that causes euphoria in one person is going to cause dysphoria in another. We all experience our transness differently, especially including the words we use to describe our experiences.

I certainly don't think the added "trans" in front of man/woman makes someone less of a man/woman. The same way I don't think lumping oneself in with nonbinary men/women does either.

Like...if you ID as a man/woman, you're a man/woman. If you ID as trans...you're trans. I separated out an individual NB option specifically because it excludes the male/female aspect, rather than includes it. (And that's not to say it even includes all the myriad nonbinary options out there, as well as people who don't use NB as an umbrella, etc.)

It's complicated. Intersectionality is complicated. Far more complicated than I'm qualified to get into, save for citing my own experiences and the experiences that have been shared with it.

Aaaand, that's all I'm going to say! Because this is something I can get really heated about, and I'm not about to go off in my happy feel-good horny time space any more than I already have!