#wishing you a healthy year with lots of love and good fortune

[mangocustard16]

Happy Birthday Xu Minghao 生日快乐 徐明浩

[mrmeowski]

can you do a headcanon of the brothers and the side characters with y/n who is pregnant??

˚✧𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲 𝐏𝐭. 𝟏/𝟐✧˚

Synopsis: You never imagined that after a year in this place, you'd be carrying the kid of some celestial being. To be honest, you were terrified; you had no idea this would happen, and he had never discussed it. You hesitated initially to tell him, but as things became too difficult to conceal, you gave in and informed him of the news, unsure how he'd take it.

CW: Slight angst, slight swearing, Lesson 16 spoiler [Belphie]

Word Count: 4.0k

Characters: 🧡༻✧ Lucifer [548] 💜༻✧ Mammon [614] 🧡༻✧ Leviathan [587] 💜༻✧ Satan [556] 🧡༻✧ Asmodeus [544] 💜༻✧ Beelzebub [521] 🧡༻✧ Belphegor [666]

⋇⊰LUCIFER⊱⋇

When you initially told Lucifer that you were pregnant, he simply stared at you, in shock for a good 5 minutes. At first, he thought that perhaps it was a twisted joke, but then none came after the confession. You weren't sure if he was mad or what not, he was just staring at you wearing that unreadable expression he had mastered.

Unbeknownst to you, he is internally thinking about his relationship with Satan and how that went sour. Plus, you were a human, carrying his child. He didn't even know such a thing could even occur! Even if he seeks any sort of information he doubts he'll find anything that is of use or trusted. In short, the Avatar of Pride was panicking.

But when you placed a hand on his cheek, he sapped out of it, caressing your hand in return. Whatever the future may hold, he knew it would sail smoothly as long as he had you by his side. That even if he was a horrible father to his 'son' you'd be the one assisting him throughout.

He and his brothers had always been tasked to protect you from the dangers that Devildom offers, but now he demands much stricter security measures for you throughout the entire pregnancy progress and most likely, after his kid is born. He wished he could do it himself, but unfortunately, it simply cannot be since he can't just abandon his duties. When he is around, he always hovers around you and does not let anyone he deems as a threat get close or talk to you.

The man didn't like PDA before, but after learning you carry his child, he especially loved to rub your tummy whenever he could. In private, he's been a lot softer and gentle with you, afraid that he might stress you or cause harm to his child. He wants to be with you at all times mainly during the last couple of months of your pregnancy.

He will do whatever he can to keep you healthy and comfortable throughout and is extra cautious about his own schedule and work habits. He'd dropped everything if you urgently needed something. Fortunately, Diavolo understands why he's been slightly slacking off and lets the man be. Plus, the prince has been worried about the demon's habit of exhausting himself over paperwork that he forgets to take care of himself. You were truly a blessing to him.

The initial fear and panic come back when you go into labor, but he tries to stay calm for your sake. Moments ago, he almost got kicked out of the delivery room because he was ready to pounce on the nurse who wasn't doing enough despite the fact you were in clear distress and pain. The sounds of you wailing and crying in pain bit a large chunk of his mentality and he cannot look at you without immediately looking away. He had witnessed so much pain and blood but this... he simply cannot stomach it.

When he finally sees you, holding his child in your arms, smiling up at him, he feels so relieved. It was the happiest day of his life and that tells a lot for he has been living for centuries, long before humans were even a thing.

⋇⊰MAMMON⊱⋇

When you first told him you're pregnant, he may or may not have shit bricks right there and then. The man needs an ambulance from the initial shock before he quickly recovers, being excited the next before morphing into an absolute picnic in under a minute. It was a flood of emotions but can you blame him?

He is horrified and ecstatic at the same time. He loves you so much and the thought of you creating a family together? His heart is about to burst. But then again... this was the first that ever occurred to the best of his knowledge which, to begin with, is close to none. At the very least, he is smart enough to know it isn't safe for you. So he was weary about it all but you reassured him that it would be all fine, it didn't fully leave him alone although it was enough since it came from you.

Mammon was always protective of you, maybe not on your first day in Devildom but after the pact thing occurred with Levi. So don't even think about bumping into his human, you carried the Great Mammon's child! He barks at anyone and anything that comes even in the vicinity of you. The demon can get very scary if he thinks you're threatened in any way, an unexpected surprise to everyone even his brothers.

Not only is he protective but he is also very devoted. He'd be taking as many jobs as he could finally pay off his debts so he could focus on providing his child with the help of a few people, one of them being Lucifer. Honestly, his brothers are proud to see him actually working his ass off without complaints or questions rather than scamming others—thanks to you. With his hard-earned money, he'd buy so many matching clothing for him, you, and the child. And of course, so many things for his little me in general.

He loves talking to the baby bump about anything. Such as the best ways to win at poker, how to avoid Lucifer, how much he loves you, and simply how good of a person you are and that you'll be a good mother to them. It was adorable and you couldn't help but smile whenever he did it. He also loves feeling his child move around when he rubs the bump, it puts him into tears. He definitely doesn't like other people to touch your people unless those are his brothers. Then perhaps he might consider it, most probably giving in when you scold him for being too overprotective.

If he brags about being your first man, then he won't shut up about you carrying his child. Pretty much everyone knows it and those who don't live in a rock. He's proud of it! So even if someone tells him to shut up, he won't, unless you're that person.

So then the labor comes, the most troubling part that he had nightmares of, literally. He dreamt of things going downhill, that you wouldn't make it, and worse, the kid also not serving throughout the process. He too needs a nurse since the man just passed out and is now lying on the floor unconscious, the screams of pain, the sight of blood, he can't. His mind just went blank and his limbs felt numb. He only woke up when he heard his child's cries, admiring the sight of you embracing his little me.

There's simply one thing you shouldn't do though, that is letting him name the child. He is horrible at it so for your kid's sake and your sanity, don't let the man do it.

⋇⊰LEVIATHAN⊱⋇

He initially thought that you were joking and was expecting Mammon to jump out of somewhere, a phone in his hand screaming at the top of his lungs, "GOTCHA! You should've seen the look on your face!!" but it never happened. No matter how many times you try to convince him, he refuses to believe it until the ultrasound comes in and there it is, a little bean that was his child.

He, the shut-in otaku, will be a dad!? Has a full-on panic attack and almost went into a cardiac arrest. Like first, you a human, pregnant with a demon? He had watched plenty of animes where a demon impregnated a human before but he never believed it was real! That such a thing could occur in real life!? Then came another thought, will he be a good dad to his child? What if he fails immensely and you start to hate him?? Heck, he barely even did all the work in your relationship. You were always the one who pushed him out of his shell, invited him to dates, all things he should've been doing.

You had to reassure him so many times you had long lost count. You understand him though, he had a history of self-doubts and he was just on the path of finding his worth. Honestly, you kind of felt bad to see him this frantic and unsure, wishing sometimes the both of you should've been a bit careful to not cause him such stress. When he found out about this, he finally got himself together and promised himself to be the best dad in Devildom! ...Or at least the best otaku dad in Devildom.

Your usual TSL marathons with him had been replaced by animes featuring families, one such infamous show was Spy x Family which you and he both fell in love. It kind of helped the inner turmoil that ran in his head. Whatever the future may hold, he knew all things will be well especially with you by his side.

When the baby bump started to become noticeable, he couldn't help but always be in awe and he simply could not keep his hands to himself, always touching it in some form. When Levi found out that despite being in a womb, the fetus could hear things outside of it, he began to read it TSL and talk about his favorite game. He cannot wait to show his child about his interest and would love it if they mimic him.

The serpent buys all sorts of games and cute clothes for children. The other brothers started to constantly complain about how many Akuzon packages were being sent to their doorsteps within days, but when you console them about it and notice the little bump, they drop it. Honestly, they too—mostly Asmo—are buying as much for the little unborn kid.

During labor, he cannot handle it to the point that he feels like throwing up or fainting. So much so that some nurses encouraged him to leave the room until all was done, but he refused. He promised you that you'll do this together and he kept that word. Until all he saw was red...

When he came back, he was an apologetic mess, quickly shutting his mouth when he saw the kid, his child in your arms. He cried when you passed him your baby and though it was a bit awkward, he held them so tenderly than any of his most prized Ruri-chan figurines.

⋇⊰SATAN⊱⋇

He half expected this to happen since he had read some demon mythologies about this happening, but the keyword here is mythologies, he didn't actually think they could be real. Honestly, he hoped for another outcome. Satan has little to no interaction with children and quite frankly, he finds them insufferable. He never thought he wanted kids nor will have them but when he imagines creating a family with you... he couldn't bring himself to continue these thoughts.

Like the firstborn, he handled the situation calmly. Reassuring you that all things would go smoothly despite his lack of knowledge about the entire progress. He promised that together, you'll deal with this situation.

Ends up putting a lot of time and effort into researching demon-human pregnancies, though there isn't a lot of information on it and most aren't confirmed to be true. It is a rare occurrence and the children can range from anywhere between a slightly enhanced human to an almost pure-blooded demon albeit still weaker than the normal ones. All this new knowledge only brought him to worry, most if not all of them ended with a possibility of the human dying. He doesn't tell you the latter since he doesn't want to put more stress on you but then again, he loves you more than this child, and if lost you, he'll lose himself.

To ease his inner turmoil, he instead reads about fatherhood. And he began to see this as a chance to prove that he can be an even better father than Lucifer, that he won't fuck this relationship up like he did. With that in mind, he became more excited and enthusiastic about it, almost forgetting the potential downfall.

All throughout your journey, he was a very thoughtful and considerate man. He'd offer to do anything for you even if sometimes you didn't even ask for it. Buys all sorts of cat-related clothing and toys for children because, of course, he will.

Would pamper you as well as the little baby bump with kisses whenever he feels them kicking. That's when it took a whole new meaning to him, this was life and you're doing better than he expected. Perhaps... it wouldn't be that too bad in the end.

When you go into labor, all the self-control he has been practicing throughout his life is being tested. He tried to stay calm for you, but you could clearly see how his eyes and the corners of his lips twitching from time to time, how his fist had turned white from his tight grip, and his veins about to burst out. It was a mixture of worry and the pain of hearing and seeing you cry out, he knew this was normal but it was so hard not to launch himself at the nurses especially when blood began to show.

As soon as he saw his child and more importantly you, in perfect condition, he instantly calmed down, rushing to your side as he admired his little me wrapped lovingly in your arms. When he gets to hold his child, he is so gentle with them like one wrong move could shatter his little kitten. He kissed their forehead, promising them that he'd be a better father than he wished he had if he could even call the Avatar of Pride as one.

⋇⊰ASMODEUS⊱⋇

Being the Avatar of Lust and not using any sort of protection even before your relationship... he suspected such a thing could occur. It isn't his first time in the rodeo, some would come crawling back to him after their initial deal saying they were pregnant with his child, to which he simply brushed. It is called a one-night stand for a reason, he isn't seeking any type of long-lasting relationship. So he had no idea what happened to them and their supposed child.

When he started dating you though, he let go of his old lifestyle to show how he loves you but what stayed was his carelessness. So when he heard the news, this time he was overjoyed! A little you would be sooo adorable to dress up with may it be a girl or a boy! You and he were overjoyed... that is until some of the brothers expressed their concerns, mainly Lucifer and Satan. Informing him of the potential dire consequences, bursting the bubble.

Asmo then becomes hesitant if you should keep the baby, he loves to have a kid of his own but his admiration for you overshadows that. If it meant losing you... then those dreams of his weren't worth it. You remained positive while he deflated, reassuring him that it would be fine and that you wouldn't leave him. It takes a lot of soothing him before he finally gives in, hoping that Father would still listen to his desperate prayers for your safety.

He drowns his sorrows and worries with trips to shopping trips to the mall. Buying all sorts of cutesy baby clothes and planning for photoshoots. There he also gets the best moisturizers to reduce stretch marks and he personally massages you to relieve any tension because he thinks he's the only deserving man to touch you.

When the baby bumps start to show, he would not stop posting it all over Devilgram, always needs to post at least 5 things per day. He's also quite loud in person, to the point the other brothers have to shut him up only doing so if it was you scolding him. But then he pouts while putting on puppy eyes, saying something along the lines of, "Aw, can I not show the world how much I love you??"

Just like Levi during your labor, he wouldn't be able to withstand watching you in pain and agony, clutching along the railings of the bed as you pushed the kid out. He tried to be strong but he simply could not watch his love in pain, it was too much for his heart to bear.

Outside the room, he thought back when his older brothers told him and he feared it might come true. He wanted to go back because this might be the last time he'd see you, but his body refused to move. No matter how much he tried he felt weak... when a nurse came out, he embraced the worst, however, she bore a smile and immediately went inside, and there you lay, a little kid in your grasp.

Continued to cry as he cradled his kids, showering them with tons of kisses and praises along with whispered promises to give them a beautiful future.

⋇⊰BEELZEBUB⊱⋇

He stopped eating and looked dead straight at you in bewilderment. It took him quite a while before he recovered, feeling a bit stupid and blind since he never saw the signs. He initially thought you gained weight because you were eating with him more often... but not this. He doesn't even think this could occur and he is panicking. He's happy for sure yet he isn't sure if this could go well.

So even after soothing and telling him that it'll be alright, that you'll go through this together, Beel seeks the guidance of his oldest brother. Only for his suspicions to be proven true and his heart cracked in half. He didn't want to lose you but also didn't want to lose the unborn child, he is a big family man after all. He doesn't want to persuade you, this mainly affects you and so if you want to proceed then... he'll accept it even if he doesn't agree with it.

If you think he was already too protective and gentle before, it only doubled and tripled this time. Thankfully nobody is idiotic enough to bump into or hurt you when he's just standing behind you... menacingly. But of course, there's always someone that'll be of threat to you, thankfully though he's always hungry at every time of the day and night.

From offering a hand to not letting you do anything but lay in bed. It came to the point where he'll carry you all around especially when the baby bump starts to show. Speaking about that, he's too scared to touch it, afraid that he might rub too hard or whatnot. But with much reassurance he finally held it, feeling his little kid move and kick around, it always puts a smile on his smile no matter how many times he does it. He was thankful you were strong enough to keep the kid despite knowing that things could go downhill.

One thing that is sure to be checked off in the list is your pregnancy cravings. You name it, he ate it. No, but seriously, he's always down to get them for you, it also gave him a reason to get some for himself. He wants his child to be all healthy and full!

And so, it was the day of your labor. He's probably being stopped by the nurses since he needs to eat something, anything to ease his nerves. He was so afraid you and the child wouldn't make it. That he'll regret not stopping you when you made your decision back then. He was afraid that he might've failed to save someone he loved and it was solely his fault, again.

But as soon as his ears picked up the cries of little one and your bathed breaths, he rushed by your side. He refused to hold them since they were so small! He simply watched and admired you cradling them, pointing at him, telling them his their father and that he'll take good care of them. He will. He will protect you with his life, he will do what he failed to do back then.

⋇⊰BELPHEGOR⊱⋇

He learned of this through his twin, you were horrified at how he'd react and what you'd do that you decided to seek help from Beel. With the older twin by your side, the two of you went upstairs to the attic to confront him about it. He first thought that it was all a bad dream... a nightmare that felt all too real. But when he didn't wake up, still standing there in front of him with a worrisome expression

Just like the fourth born, Belphie despises children, he finds them annoying especially their high-pitched voices, screaming and complaining. The only thing he could consider as experience with handling children was when Satan was a kid and he barely controlled that little shit.

So the fact he didn't like kids and the overall feeling that this is wrong was too overwhelming for the demon. You're pregnant with a demon child. This couldn't... it isn't safe for you! Even if he never thought that something like this would happen, what he's sure of is that it can't be good for you and potentially kill you. He demanded the kid to be... removed from you much to you and his twin's dismay.

You expected such an outcome, that's why you didn't tell him in the first place, so you didn't fight much, but Beel being the family guy he is, fought for the unborn kid. A fight ensued between them with you caught in the middle, trying to calm things down while failing miserably. It reached the point that it garnered Lucifer's attention, stopping the quarrel between the twins. Safe to say they didn't talk to each other for some time and you left him be.

He said a lot of shitty things to you but it's simply because he thought back to when he killed you. If you die because of his kid, that'd mean it would be his and he swore he'd protect you. It hurts him so when you avoid his gaze, the loneliness he felt when you're no longer by his side in his sleep, and though Beel caved in and started to interact with him, it wasn't enough. He needed you to not leave him.

It was sad but if your lover doesn't want it, then you'll accept it. In the safety of your room, you looked down on the little pill in your hand, before someone nearly broke your door. There he was... standing right outside and now begging for forgiveness as well as pleading to keep the kid. Honestly, you don't know what made him change his mind, maybe his twin pulled some strings behind it? You didn't bother to ask, just simply hugging and giving him comfort.

Since he knows nothing about parenting and all that, he seeks out Satan. The older brother was quite surprised he was putting this much effort into something at first, he was against it, love can truly change someone. It was still against his will but eventually, he softened up to his future kid. He loves to lay his head in your stomach and when it grew bigger you had to scold him to which he'd pout and complain about it all day long.

The day he dreaded and hunted his sleep had come. He never was more awake in his life than during your labor. His emotions went haywire he stood behind the nurses, watching them intently in his demon form. Looking for any mistakes they'll make and if either you or his child dies, he isn't afraid to rip them apart. Thankfully, his worst nightmare didn't come true and both of you survived.

He admires his little one, regretting that he even thought of killing them before. But who would blame him? He'd only let his twin hold his child during their few weeks but when they get old, perhaps, just maybe he'll let other brothers hold them... It'll take quite some time to convince him if that other is Lucifer.

Surprise Pregnancy Pt. 2/2» Request» Masterlist»

[kquil]

DIVORCING ORION BLACK | CHAPTER FOUR

04 : BEGINNINGS

CHPT. SUM. : beginning new things is always fun. getting to know your sons, them finally being able to experience having a loving mother, sirius going to school, and you planning for everything that was yet to come so that everyone gets to the happy ending they deserve. 

LENGTH : 11.8k

TAGS : domestic fluff ; orion being a bad father ; original walburga being a nuisance ; reader being an amazing mother and an amazing cook ; regulus has food preferences ; brotherhood between sirius and regulus ; marauders spotted in the wild ; sirius and regulus being precious babies ; reader disrespecting walburga ; mentions of infertility ; mentions of divorce ; lots of future planning

← PREV. 03 : SHOPPING (2/2) | SERIES M.LIST

9th August 1971 

It, surprisingly, took very little to get past Orion on the topic of changing Sirius and Regulus’ private tutors. However, when you truly looked at his workaholic tendencies, your initial surprise should have been the more startling reaction — of course, he wouldn’t care, he’s too fixated on the happenings with his position on the Wizengamot to be aware of much else, discounting the protective wards he put up around the property. Nevertheless, it was good news for you and your boys. Finally, they would be getting more suitable tutors, who catered to their learning needs in a more digestible way. You had only recently sent out the notice, though, so you don’t expect many replies to be coming in soon. Your only wish was to have fallen into this universe sooner, that way you would have had more time with Sirius before he left to attend Hogwarts as a first year. 

Walburga didn’t have a formal occupation other than monitor her boys so having Sirius leave for his first year would mean less work for her and, subsequently, you. However, it’s not as if she needed the money; she’s the matriarch of an incredibly privileged family, meaning that her financial worries are close to non-existent. Both, the affluent family fortune and her lack of professional ambitions have you stumped, it’s something you’re not used to at all. Perhaps that’s why she’s so obsessed with control and the activity of her two sons; it’s not healthy and you don’t even want to attempt to understand what she was thinking—

“Of course you won’t!” Walburga snarls from the depths of your consciousness, her tone dripping with malice and a hint of something sinister. “I don’t expect someone who failed at becoming a mother to understand the right and true tribulations of bringing up children,” 

“…how did you know that?” you ask aloud, no longer satisfied with simply trying to call for the bitch - Walburga’s - attention in your head. She didn’t seem to want to reply, which only made your blood boil; her prolonged silence, the trigger to releasing your rapidly escalating rage.  How dare she?! How dare she strike you where it hurts the most, only to turn completely unresponsive when you demand answers, “Answer me!”  Thick tensions fill the room when she does not answer, the silence suffocating and poisonous. Taking a slow, deep breath, you engage control over your anxious heart and trembling hands once more. 

Work. You need work. Something to focus on so that you don’t dwell on memories that will only bring you heartache. It worked before so it’ll work for you now. It had worked so well, in fact, that you were able to build an empire out of it, perhaps you could replicate the same results this time. 

“Screw you then, ugly pig, I have more important matters to attend to anyway,” pulling out a drawer, you scatter your notes across the desk and move with fretful fever but, also, enthusiasm above them. No matter the change of environment, you can always trust in your habits to push you forward. Walburga mainly worked on keeping the boys in line as the official matriarch of the Black household but that’s all her world revolved around, she had no hobbies or any close friends other than her relatives whom she communicated with, somewhat, regularly. With a guilty ache in your chest, you kept a gradually growing stack of letters in the bottom-most drawer of the hard oak desk, not yet knowing how to respond to people you barely knew. However, you suppose their relations to a character like Walburaga make it slightly easier to ignore their communications. The affiliation doesn’t warrant your precious time. If you could send a passive-aggressive email, you might be more willing, but the extended process of having to write out the letters and then send them via owl wasn’t worthwhile. 

The priority on your list of important affairs is ensuring your boys’ happy and safe future. Sirius will not have to choose between Regulus and his friends, he will not suffer being blasted off the family tree, he will not have to be ashamed of his family, he will not have to witness his close friend’s death through another’s betrayal, and he will not be forced to go to Azkaban. Similarly, Regulus will not have to suffer Sirius abandoning him, he will not have to face his prejudicial parents alone, he will not be forced into getting the dark mark, he will not have to make the sacrifice he had to make at such a young age, he will not die a miserable and lonely death, and he will not be forgotten! You will make sure of it. 

Coming into the world as a Harry Potter and Marauders fan, you’re well-equipped with all the knowledge required to make the right decisions. The only problem is that the Marauders era has been a largely vague timeline that most of the fandom filled in for themselves so you’ll have to tread carefully. This will require meticulous planning, a steady rise to power and a conglomeration of useful allies to help set your plans into motion. Modern-day knowledge and business etiquette will serve you well here. You’ve survived toxic work environments, won in the race to riches, and dealt with all manner of manipulative, sexist swine you could ever think to encounter. If you play your cards right, you’re sure to win. 

“As if a muggle like you could conquer the wizarding world!” Walburga finally makes her appearance once again. And, of course, it’s for the sake of belittling you whilst making your head throb painfully from her distasteful screeches. 

“Shut up,” you hiss unapologetically, resisting the urge to smirk, “Unlike you, I know the future—” breathing the words aloud brings a blaring, singular thought to the front of your mind. The vision you witnessed at the Owl Emporium replays in your head once more…

How in the world did Walburga know about the biting habit of Sirius’ future owl?… 

Several moments pass achingly slow as you anticipate the aggravating screeching of Walburga to return. When no such wailing occurs or interrupts your train of thought, your mind immediately begins to spiral. 

How could Walburga remember being at the Emporium, shopping for Sirius’ first year at Hogwarts when she had yet to go shopping with him in the first place? They couldn’t have already gone, right? Orion would have said something if they were being inefficient enough to go a second time. That or the boys would have definitely made some comment… 

This felt like an urgent matter that needed your immediate attention but you had to prioritise other things for now. It’s not like the original Walburga was going to give you the answers you needed so it wasn’t any use pressing on the matter. It’s best to turn your focus and efforts elsewhere. Peering back at your scattered notes, you raise your newly acquired wand and utter the crafting spell you had learned recently. 

“Libeligare,” As you wave your wand over the desk, activity springs forth. In a flurry of animated pages and whistling currents in the air, your disordered notes compile themselves appropriately before binding themselves into a fresh notebook. It doesn’t have a hard cover and you debate on transfiguring a decorative letter set piece into one but think against it. This will do nicely for the moment. 

Finally, all your detailed plans are in one place. 

10th August 1971 

With nothing better to do and desperate for a decent meal, you address the home-cooked meals situation. Every dish served at the Black household was so unappetising and bland, that you couldn’t believe that the family was one of the most influential and richest families to exist in the wizarding world. You’re beginning to believe that the Blacks were the type of family to indulge in unpalatable spreads with the reasoning that they refuse to eat the same meals as those lesser than them. How childish. Even in your city-centre penthouse, you ordered take-out frequently and ate ordinary home-cooked meals that were comforting and warm. The memories make you compare all the meals you’ve had in Grimmauld Place and blanch abhorrently. This wouldn’t do, especially for your growing boys. They need to be well-fed so that they grow up healthy and strong. 

“Mistress!” Kreacher shrieks behind you, making you jump and spin around all at once. The hunched-over house elf dashes through the kitchen space clumsily and with much vigour, he pulls painfully at his drooping ears as his eyes bulge out from seeing you, his mistress, the matriarch, in the kitchen cooking! Without magic! 

“Don’t be so dramatic, Kreacher,” you chuckle softly and turn back to your food prep, “I’m just trying to cook an easy breakfast for my boys,” if you could truly have it your way then you would cook enough only for you and your two darling sons to eat. Orion would have to sort his own plate. But you’re not divorced yet so you suppose this is a compromise you’ll have to make. 

“I-It is not mistress’ job, let Kreacher do it—!” the house elf, reaches forward to take the kitchen utensils from you but you’re too swift. 

“I want to cook the food Kreacher,” you argue and continue pottering about the kitchen as if it was just another Tuesday morning, all while Kreacher follows you around helplessly. He’s clearly stuck between letting you have your way or forcing you to let him cook instead. Both felt wrong in different ways considering his position as the house elf, and he was brought to a standstill. The poor guy looked ready to throw himself off a cliff from the indecision and panic.  

Having sympathy for the elf, you call to him over your shoulder, “Kreacher can you please pass me the eggs?” this feels like a good even ground to dance on. Soon enough you’ll be teaching Kreacher how to finally relax. Kreacher appeared happy to finally be doing something but as soon as he hesitantly handed over the eggs, he was back to being anxious all over again. Even though you are the matriarch of the household, you supposed you’ll have to share the kitchen with a very distressed house elf for the foreseeable future. 

For the rest of the morning, you’ve asked Kreacher to help you with crisping up the beacon, cleaning the mushrooms, opening up the can of beans, toasting the bread and laying out the table. No more tasteless, boring porridge for breakfast with no toppings, today you’re serving a Full English. Admiring the spread, you thank Kreacher for his assistance before undoing your apron and putting the finishing touches to the dining table just as the rest of the family make it down for breakfast. 

“What is all this?” Orion asks in slight surprise when catching sight of breakfast for the day, “Is today very important?��

“No,” nonchalance keeps your tone controlled just as your precious babies walk through the door and hop into their designated seats at the table, one more enthusiastic than the other, “I’m just tired of plain old porridge every day,”

“Porridge is delicious,” Orion defends.

“Every day?” from the look in his eyes, you don’t know whether or not you’ve bested him so turn a serene smile his way instead, “I can always ask Kreacher to make you porridge if you really want,” 

Orion takes a moment to observe the full, vibrant plate of bacon, toast, grilled tomatoes, sautéed mushrooms, sausages, black pudding, scrambled eggs and beans. If he takes any longer to play indecisive, the food will get cold and your precious babies are waiting on his dainty, princess-ass to make a decision— can you hurry the fuck up?! you want to scream at him. Every meal is started after his first bite (the pretentious, narcissistic douche) so he needs to make up his mind quickly or else you’ll lose yours waiting around! 

“…it’ll be a waste, this will do,” he finally picks up his knife and fork to begin eating and you have to reign yourself in before you roll your eyes too noticeably at his conceited behaviour. Your babies behave better than him. The prick! 

Turning to your boys, you observe Sirius and Regulus digging into their own meals before finally taking a bite out of yours. It felt good to see their eyes light up like that, especially Sirius’ — it makes you want to giggle at how obviously he had been wanting to devour his beans and toast the instant he laid eyes on them. 

Breakfast continues pleasantly as everyone enjoys their meal until you begin to notice some peculiar movement in the corner of your eye. You try to be as subtle as you can, considering the uncommon calm that has fallen over the dining table; it isn’t usually this comfortable around the table so you wanted to preserve the ambience as much as possible. The source of your curious gaze was Sirius and Regulus. 

Covertly, Regulus sneaks spoonfuls of his scrambled eggs onto Sirius’ plate, who proceeds to eat up his younger brother’s share as quickly as possible. Regulus was doing this willingly despite this morning’s breakfast being the first appetising meal he’s had yet. It won’t be the last either. However, from the way Sirius is scarfing down the food whilst trying to remain as silent as possible, it wouldn’t be surprising if Sirius eventually suffers from a stomachache later on. You wonder what could be the matter with the scrambled eggs. Was the seasoning off? Kreacher helped taste test every element of the meal and gave his stellar praise for your unrealised culinary skills so you’re more than a bit confused at the scene. After swallowing all remnants of food in your mouth, you gently raise a question. 

“Regulus?” your youngest freezes up immediately, making your brows furrow but still, you continue in a soft voice, “What’s wrong?” Deep in your chest, you feel your heart clench in worry at the deer-in-headlights expression plastered across Regulus’ cherubic face. 

You are met with only silence, “do you not like your eggs, darling?” you try meeting your youngest’s eyes but he’s terrified to even face your direction. Instead, he’s firmly steered his gaze down to his lap and keeps it there, frozen in place. 

There’s a slam of the table and everyone stiffens. At the head, Orion stares disapprovingly at Regulus, who begins to tremble like a leaf, “How rude!” the patriarch spits with such force and bite that his saliva lands halfway down the lengthy dining table. He’s so scandalised by his son’s behaviour that the cold from his freezing gaze drops the temperature in the room lower than it already is. “How many times have we talked about this Regulus? Finish your plate at once or else it’ll be the last meal you eat today!”

“He’s not being rude!” you counter, flying out of your seat and making your way to Regulus, “And he shouldn’t be forced to eat something he doesn’t like nor punished harshly for disliking something,” Crouching down, you position yourself to block Orion from Regulus’ line of sight despite his frightened doe-eyes remaining transfixed on his lap. His small hands are turned into small, knuckle-white fists, gripping fiercely at the fabric of his trousers. A paralysed statue of fear incarnate, your little boy doesn’t deserve this! If you could ‘Avada Kedavra’ Orion’s pathetic, prissy ass, you would in a heartbeat. 

From your peripheral, you notice how Sirius had placed a comforting hand over one of Regulus’ closed fists and the sight made your heart bloom with pride and joy — seeing how well they take care of each other was so heartwarming. “Tell me what’s wrong, Reg…I promise I won’t get mad,” you make sure to keep your voice in a low whisper so that only your son can hear but also loud enough that Orion’s distant grumbling is disguised. 

“Do you not like eggs?” your prompting remains gentle and patient, hoping for a fraction of understanding. That’s all you really want. 

Sensing no antagonistic feeling in your tone, Regulus finally wills himself to speak, although barely audible from insecurity, “I….I don’t like scrambled eggs…”

“No? What about them don’t you like?”

"They feel weird in my mouth, I don’t like chewing them,” he explains shyly, his confession dripping with shame. His grey eyes look into your own remorsefully and, before he can utter an apology, he is stopped by the shaking of your head.

Smiling warmly, you pat his small hand and voice your reassurance, “That’s a reasonable preference to have. Do you not like the texture?” Regulus nods in confirmation as his small, tense shoulders slowly ease up, “Do you not like eggs at all or do you like them cooked in a particular way?” 

Regulus’ eyes widen with surprise. Never before had his mother been so attentive to his preferences like this. On the contrary, His mother was always the first to make him feel embarrassed for his picky tendencies when it came to food, especially over dishes that make him lose his appetite entirely, oysters and shellfish being the main culprit. He really didn’t like them at all. Many times, they were the appetiser to multiple-course meals hosted by pureblood, elitist wizarding families so Walburga was determined to season her son’s palettes early on in life. It was good etiquette to eat such foods and to know how to eat them properly. If he didn’t display appropriate dinner etiquette at the table then he is lesser, he is unworthy of the Black family name and blood running through his veins, he is unbecoming of his heritage, he is a disgrace— 

“I can cook eggs in many other ways,” you suggest thoughtfully, voice remaining soft and comforting, “I can fry them for you? Or I can boil them? Do you like your yolk runny or firm?” 

Regulus, spurred on by your softly placed questions feels the corners of his lips tug upwards, “fried eggs, please…”

His innocuous answer makes you beam, “with a runny or firm yolk, darling?”

“Runny, please,” Regulus finds your bright expression infectious and begins to smile a little wider too. Over the slope of his little brother’s small shoulders, Sirius is grinning from ear to ear; finally, Regulus isn’t going to be forced to eat something he doesn’t enjoy. The elation makes Sirius’ chest swell as his heart pinches slightly at the memory of his little brother retching up the contents of his stomach in the bathroom. Those disastrous, past meals started badly and they ended badly too. Peering at you with smiling eyes, Sirius knows that he won’t need to worry about that any more. 

“Of course, right away," you’re eager to leave and fix up Regulus’ plate but you also worry about leaving him with Orion at the dinner table; your husband wasn’t too pleased with Regulus having preferences — the pretentious prick could choke on his food and die for all you cared, “how about we go to the kitchen together?” you offer smoothly as you begin to stand, “that way, you can watch me cook and make sure I do them just the way you like it,” smiling brightly, Regulus nods and easily offers his hand for you to hold, “Siri, would you like to come?” if one brother was coming with you so was the other.  

“Yes please!” Sirius happily walks to the kitchen, hand-in-hand with Regulus, whose other hand is fully wrapped up in your own. 

From the head of the table, Orion stares with his mouth agape at what he had just been a witness to. What was happening to his wife?! 

11th August 1971 

Sirius and Regulus stand by the fireplace, waving off their newly appointed private tutor as they floo away before eagerly making their way to your home office. Usually, their session catch-ups would make the two freeze up and drag their feet along the plush carpets of their family’s proud home but not now. Ever since your irregular activities leading up to your fainting spell and subsequent switch in demeanour, they’ve felt safer and happier at home. But only around you, their father still frightened them. The patriarch’s grey eyes swirled with a mounting turbulence that they would greatly prefer to avoid so they quickly make themselves scarce around him but not around their mother. Not anymore.

“I can’t wait to show Mother my cursive practice,” Regulus has a skip in his step as he walks beside his older brother, who beams at him proudly. 

“Yeah, you’re getting really good at that Reggie,” Sirius praises, a slightly envious tone edging into his words, but it all remained playful, “say, how do you do your swirls so good?”

“Practise!” 

Sirius rolls his eyes at his younger brother’s cheek, “There has to be a secret to it that I don’t know about,” Regulus only giggles at his older brother’s shortcomings. This had been a rare happiness to experience at 12 Grimmauld Place but, gradually, it was becoming common between the two brothers. Suddenly the walls weren’t so drab, the furniture not as boring and the decorations not as hauntingly placed. The atmosphere was much brighter as sunlight always seemed to pour magnanimously in from the windows.

“Sorry Siri,” from Regulus’ free-flowing, tuneful words, he isn’t sorry at all but Sirius can never will up any hatred for his younger brother. They’ve been through it all together and now that their recent joys were also being shared, of course, they would partake in harmless teasing — teasing that was usually frowned upon by their mother but was no longer a worry. They can’t remember the last time their mother frowned — the two greatly prefer this new version of their mother’s expressions much more.

As they approach your office door, the brothers’ footfalls quicken and they barely catch themselves from bursting through the door without knocking. But not before they catch sight of your figure through the crack of the doorway. Curious about your activity, Sirius hushes his younger brother softly and holds him back so that he can lean forward to observe your figure closely. Inspired by his older brother’s nosiness, Regulus leans forward also and the two peer at you through the doorway crack. 

You’re not at your desk but are, instead, seated on the plush, cushioned seats of the emerald sofa placed in front of your desk. Black robes and other familiar attire are piled up beside you on one side while the other gradually assembles the neatly folded aftermath of your sewing…embroidery? Was there even a difference? Nevertheless, you had a needle and thread in hand without your wand or the use of magic in sight!

“Mother’s sewing your name tags herself,” Regulus concludes in a whisper following a muted gasp of surprise. 

Sirius’ eyes widen ever so slightly, “and she’s not using magic…” he doesn’t know how skilled you are at sewing but Sirius doesn’t care, the gesture alone is enough to make his chest swell. Even his face began to warm up from the heat climbing up his neck as it tried reaching his ears. 

“…do you think she’ll sew my name tags too? When I start my first year, I mean…” Regulus asks shyly, the clear insecurity in his timid voice making Sirius slightly defensive. 

“Of course, she will,” he huffs before grinning widely, “and if we tear up our uniform ‘accidentally’ I’m sure she’ll sew those up herself too!” Regulus doesn’t know whether he likes or dislikes his brother’s train of thought but smiles anyway; he’s just happy thinking about his mother paying as much attention and care to his first-year robes too. He can’t wait until he starts attending Hogwarts as well. 

Finally willing themselves to stop eavesdropping and return to their earlier task, Sirius and Regulus straighten their posture before knocking on the heavy wooden door. They don’t have to wait terribly long for an answering call to grant their entrance. 

“Come in,” you set your tools aside and smile when the door reveals your babies stepping into your office, “hello, my darlings,” from your periphery, you spot the time on the clock face and jump into conversation with them, “how was your tutoring session? Did you like your new tutor?” 

“Yeah!” the two answer simultaneously and with the same amount of enthusiasm — it makes you smile with content. Happiness looks good on them; their characters shine brighter and their faces are more child-like. They’re honestly the cutest little boys you’ve ever seen and now they’re your sons to love and protect.  

“That’s wonderful news,” you open your arms for each of them to jump into, “Tell me all about it,” you’re just about to magic away the robes and sewing equipment so that they can sit beside you but not before you spot Sirius inspecting your handiwork, “I’m afraid I’m not the best seamstress,” your confession comes out bashfully, “I should have had Madam Malkins sew the tags on for me—”

“No!—” Sirius interrupts, looking almost offended that you would consider such a thing, “I like your sewing,” you raise a brow and, together with Regulus, inspect your uneven, treasure map trail of stitches before turning to the eldest brother once more. 

“Are you sure, darling?”

“Yeah, only you can do the stitching on my uniform, no one else,” his firm answer makes your embarrassed expression melt into a warm smile.

“Alright then,��

“Thank you, Mother,” he gives you another hug that you happily return. 

“You’re welcome, my dear,”

Looking over your plans, you sigh in restrained frustration. This is going to be a little hard. Yes, you know what to do but it’s all about recruiting the right people, trustworthy people and ones who are right for the role you’re choosing to give them. There’s a lot on your plate too, with your most urgent goal being divorce. You’re convinced that it isn’t going to be easy, considering the controversies that will surround the separation of a prominent wizarding house. The laws surrounding marriage, divorce and custody at this time are also largely unknown to you. Thankfully, you’ve had the privilege of living in a modern ‘muggle’ society where marriage and custody laws were pretty equal and fair. Perhaps there’s a book you can read up on about these things. For now, it’s a safe bet to say that custody will favour Orion as a man in the 1970s — it’s better to over-prepare than be underprepared for any outcome. 

Despite the importance of this particular undertaking, you’ll have to wait until both, Sirius and Regulus, are attending Hogwarts to commence the divorce proceedings. You don’t want your boys to be front-row witnesses nor do you want them to rollercoaster through the typical, rough emotions of children caught up in their parents’ divorce. You’ve been through that already… and you barely made it out on the other side. You’re an adult and they’re just children; if you can protect them from the brunt of it, you will.

A stray thought pushes forward into your consciousness — it would be too optimistic to confidently wager on the boys siding with you. Although under abusive parenting, children are very loyal and you’re benefiting from that loyalty now; even though Walburga was incredibly cruel to her sons, they were still eager to give you a chance as soon as you took over and began treating them kindly. You need to be cautious. The silver lining of it all is that you’ll, at least, have some time to prepare affluently before starting the separation process. That, on its own, however, will require another bout of planning.  

Saving Regulus is another priority on your list. That requires getting rid of the Horcruxes and killing off snake-faced Voldy but you don’t want to be too hands-on with that, especially because you’re not very adept at casting spells yet — there’ll be more experienced and more willing people (Aurors) who would be able to handle this type of mission. All you have to do is pull the right strings and connect with the right people. Eyeing another task on your list, you spot a small connection and smirk to yourself. The nib of your quill dips into a pot of ink and bridges two of your obligations. 

“This could be quite beneficial on both ends,” if you play your cards right…

Making some more careful notes, you gradually begin to piece everything together. But then there’s the issue of Sirius being sent to Azkaban. It’s healthy to have faith in yourself but if someone’s life and wellbeing are in danger, especially if it’s your son’s, you need to have a second, third and fourth plan at the ready. There needs to be a second, third and fourth plan for Regulus as well. Luck and misfortune will always have some influence on the dice you roll, there will never be an exception to that. You’ve learned this enough times in your previous life already, not just in business but everything else too. 

Your quill stops and rests beside your plans as the cogs in your brain turn with more purpose. Sirius still needs to become an animagus and Regulus needs to learn how to be a strong enough swimmer so that he can cast a spell to repel the Inferi. It would be beneficial if they both become well-equipped in duelling. That’ll require your lack of interference (maybe even your support) until Sirius’ fifth year, getting Regulus sorted with swimming lessons and encouraging both on their Defence Against the Dark Arts skills. You make a quick note of both solutions and their reasoning before linking both back to your list of obligations. 

The progress you’re making with these intervention plans is making headway. You just hope that you won’t tip the scales too far so that what little control you currently have slips right through your fingers and you’ll be left floundering. 

20th August 1971

You’ve fully taken over the cooking for all meals and your boys are looking much healthier. It warms your heart every time you see them happily eating your cooking, it was hard work keeping up with the pantry inventory, planning meals and catering to their individual tastes but it was good work that filled your heart with so much content, you hardly felt the fatigue creeping into your bones. 

Regulus isn’t a picky eater, he simply has a preference for some foods over others. He doesn’t like his eggs scrambled, only fried and with a runny yolk; he can’t stomach oysters or shellfish; he doesn’t like pulp in his juice and he’d rather eat a raw onion than have any trace of offal trimmings in his food. 

Sirius can practically eat anything and does so healthily, however, he’s more of a savoury person, leaving Regulus to own the sweet tooth palette by himself. Both adore cheese and you often create mini charcuterie boards for them to snack on. It was so adorable. There was plenty of time on your schedule to assign towards aesthetic food presentation so you’ve mastered the creation of salami roses. You’ve also found that Sirius prefers caramelised onion chutney to go with his mature cheeses whilst Regulus goes for a sweeter fig chutney. 

Currently, you were making them their own mini charcuterie boards. Both were displayed on a circular board with their favourite chutney at the very centre, held in a small ceramic container. And, with decorative prowess, you place their selection of meats, cheeses, crackers and grapes around it. 

“Do they look good Kreacher?” the house elf peers over the countertop surface and gives an affirming nod with a barely noticeable smile. 

“The young masters will be very happy, Mistress,” helpfully he suggests bringing the carefully prepared boards and crust-less finger sandwiches up to the boys’ study room for you but you shake your head. 

“Thank you, Kreacher, but I think I’ll bring up the food this time,” you’ve met their new private tutor several times already but she was always so tense around you; you’re determined to improve her impression through some good old exposure therapy. “Please prepare some tea and bring it up as soon as you’re done,” with your wand and a softly uttered ‘locomotor charcuterie boards and sandwiches’, the items lift into the air just slightly and you begin to move them out of the kitchen. 

“What tea should Kreacher be brewin’ this noon, Mistress?” 

“Oolong would be lovely today. Be sure to brew some Earl grey for Orion too but deliver the Oolong to us first please,” Kreacher’s struggles with your utterance of the polite ‘please’ persists but he continues with his set tasks regardless. The hunched-over house elf has noticed you’ve been prioritising the young masters much more than Orion recently; whenever you want to do something thoughtful, you always think of your sons first. Only last minute do you finally remember your workaholic husband and leave the snack preparations for Kreacher to fulfil and deliver alone. It’s a peculiar shift in attention, the wrinkled elf admits, but seeing his young master Regulus so happy, he doesn’t complain. Kreacher also admits that he’s growing a slight, mutual fondness for the elder Black brother, the two share in their love for Regulus and loyalty to you; now they’ve become friendly acquaintances. The house elf is a little happier and much more willing than ever before to stay loyal to his mistress and young masters’ sides. And Master Orion too, of course.   

Making your way up the stairs, the pretentious cow stuck in your head makes her presence known with inconsequential complaints.

“You’re spoiling those boys far too much!” Walburga shrieks and immediately makes your temples pound, “Sirius and Regulus don’t need this much attention, if you continue this they’re going to grow up soft and weak and unable to carry on the Black family name with the proper dignity and class!” For the sake of avoiding the horrid healing potion Kreacher’s having you consume after every fainting spell, you’ve been training yourself to build up as much resistance to her incessantly obnoxious yapping as much as possible — you’re getting there but you still need some practise. Currently, you are traversing the stairs so you’re taking every step with extra caution.

“Bitches should be seen and not heard,” her confounded gasp doesn’t escape you, “so kindly shut the fuck up,” the sarcastic cheerfulness in your tone makes her gasp once more and, like a coward, makes herself scarce. It seems as though you’ve gotten better at shutting the shrew up but she has yet to acclimatise herself to your shameless disrespect towards her.  Hopefully, she never gets used to your comments; it’s always such a pleasure being able to render her utterly speechless. 

With a pleased smile, you give a soft knock on the boys’ study room before entering. The boys gasp happily as soon as they see the levitating charcuterie boards and the plateful of crust-less sandwiches float closer and closer. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt but I think you all deserve a lunch break,” the boys cheer and happily dig in while you face their tutor with a small smile, “please feel free to have as many sandwiches as you want, we have plenty on offer,” her smile is hesitant and slightly trembles under your hold so she’s quick to look away and fix her focus onto the plate of sandwiches — her own, personal reprieve from having to interact with you.

Peony Knight. She’s an incredibly timid individual who seems to be in her element only when teaching children rather than in the company of said children’s adult parents — she has yet to look you in the eye for an extended period. Her head is an organised plight of feathery, strawberry-blonde hair and her eyes are a pair of opal pendants, so brilliantly blue but incandescent with a kaleidoscope of other jewel colours. Her resume was astounding but her family wasn’t very notable so you could only imagine her surprise when she received your response to her application with a test run of her skills. It was important to you that she comes from an uncommon house and family, you didn’t want to draw too much attention over switching tutors. At her tutoring trial run, she started very shaky but eventually found her confidence when focusing on your two boys rather than your lurking figure from the corner of the study. She was a good runner-up and quickly became the perfect choice when your boys showed favour towards her – the other candidates appeared to have been more affected by your presence in the room and taught the way they thought you wanted them to. 

“She’s nice and patient,” Regulus commented when you went to him after her trial lesson. 

“I like the way she explains things,” Sirius added beside him. 

That was all you needed to hire her as their private tutor. Peony’s timidity of you as an authority figure played in her favour very well.  

Hidden within a thick pile of stacked parchments and a small mountain of miscellaneous scrolls, you found Walburga’s carefully curated curriculum for the boys and handed it over to Peony. Walburga would know better than you what would be useful for her sons to learn. However, you were surprised at the amount of ‘muggle’ topics on her curated list. Admittedly, you were only expecting foundational wizarding lessons maybe on wands or classic pureblood etiquette so your shock was justified. Walburga’s reaction, however, wasn’t.  

“I teach them proper pureblood etiquette myself, you useless girl! And how can I expect my sons to grow up well if they aren’t taught the basics?! They’ll be able to advance as better wizards of the Black family that way. Moreover, muggles stick to and remain in the basics so don’t get smug with me, you filthy mud-blood!” Walburga screeched without restraint and with much offence after your initial revelation, leading to another fainting spell — the disgusting bitch…

In addition to Peony’s private tutoring, you’ve taken to providing your own private lessons to the boys, much to their surprise and slight hesitancy. However, as soon as you began the extended lessons after their usual morning session with Peony one day, they’ve since grown to love it. This didn’t happen every time, however, only on Tuesdays and Fridays. Today was one of those days, a Friday, and you’re so excited to see their reactions to what you have planned. 

Their schedules typically consist of Peony coming over a couple of hours before noon and she teaches them for two or three hours sessions every day except weekends. Mondays were for English language and literature (wizard and muggle), Tuesdays were for Economics, Numeracy and Financial literacy, Wednesdays were for French and Cursive handwriting practice, Thursdays were for muggle sciences (basic biology, physics and chemistry) and Fridays were for history and philosophy (wizard and muggle).

You reserve the fun lessons for your boys with yourself as their teacher. These were composed of lessons that typically challenged their problem-solving, creativity and other fundamental skills to set them up with a good foundation for school and life in general. This included fun puzzle-solving, art (in every medium the boys wanted), some written/scenario problem-solving and role-play scenarios. The first Friday you did this, you had the boys act out from rough, child-friendly scripts you drafted inspired by the Shakespearian play, Macbeth. It seemed like an innocuous lesson but you wanted to gauge their ethical understandings and reasonings. 

Throughout the scenes, you would spontaneously make them freeze frame to ask prompting questions that typically go along the lines of, ‘what would you do in this situation?’, ‘do think that was the right thing to do?’, and ‘why did you think your character did this even though they knew it was wrong?’. Both engaged very well with their own perspectives on the situation. 

At one point they got into a small argument that you needed to break up due to slightly differing standpoints on the scenario. It became slightly more heated than you expected but you were thankful for the opportunity to teach them how to communicate well with each other despite their differences. The lesson ended after that because tensions were still high and they were equally very stubborn about who should apologise first. 

It was going to take more than one lesson to be able to make them understand the rules and the importance of healthy communication, but that was to be expected. This was just the beginning so you’re hoping that if you stay consistent with fostering their ethical reasoning, communication and problem-solving skills, they will be able to remain brotherly despite their opposing Hogwarts houses. In the end, you made them apologise at the same time (to the count of three) and had them hug it out before telling them to say one thing they like about the other person. Evidently, they weren’t used to your new way of doing things and making amends but they (grumpily) did as they were told — and looked absolutely adorable doing it, their pouty faces were too much to bear! 

Approaching the two boys indulging in their individual charcuterie boards and occasionally exchanging bites of their share, you kneel between them and begin pleasant conversations about their current lesson. 

“Are you two having fun so far?” you could practically see Peony stiffen up like cement behind you, just from the telling gasp she lets out in the background. Being so high-strung isn’t going to be good for her health so you hope she gets used to your presence soon enough. You do feel slightly apologetic for her but she needs to know that people can change no matter how drastically. Hopefully, she takes this opportunity to grow some confidence in herself too. Someone so intelligent should walk with broader shoulders and a higher chin. 

“Yeah! Did you know Pythagoras had a cult?” Sirius was practically bouncing in his chair.

“No, he had a school of very intelligent mathematicians and musicians,” Regulus countered after swallowing his bite of cracker, cheese and grapes. 

Sirius rolls his eyes but immediately jumps into another topic, “he discovered the theory of pitch which is surprising coming from a guy who’s scared of beans,” he cracks himself up laughing at the statement.

Again, Regulus interjects in defence of the philosopher, “he wasn’t scared of beans,” the two brothers exchange narrowed stares, “He just believed that beans were the vessels for dead people’s souls and didn’t want to disrespect them by running through a bean field,” a small argument ensues but you don’t act, instead, you watch as a bystander in the hopes that your presence alone can keep them in check. If you ever feel the need to jump in at some point, you will. 

All too well, Sirius and Regulus remain aware of your lingering attendance to their quarrel and make the silent agreement to not escalate things too far. For a moment, they share a knowing look after briefly glancing your way and glaring at each other once again. You watch them huff and inhale a slow, shaky breath. They actively turn their voices down whilst continuing with their argument. It didn’t seem to go anywhere but both concluded it with less heat and more of a calm acknowledgement of each other’s differing sides. 

“Two people can have different opinions and still be friends. They only need to respect that the other person holds a different view and that it doesn’t make them a bad person,” they remembered your sage advice from their first extracurricular lesson with you. It was a massive shift in perspective to their growing minds and the impact it had on both of them was enough to permanently imprint the message into their heads.  

Unprompted, you lean forward and press a kiss to each of their foreheads, Sirius first and then Regulus, “I’m so proud of you two,” you watch as their cherubic cheeks flush an adorable, pink hue. Sirius scratches the back of his head bashfully whilst Regulus fiddles with his pen, both of them equally biting back a small smile from the praise, “you remembered what I taught you,” they look upon your elated smile with shy fulfilment as they nod slightly. “Another person’s opposing opinions might be something we don’t share or appreciate as much as they do but…” they lean forward ever so slightly, wanting to consciously heed your elaboration on the topic, “hearing or witnessing a different view will expand our perspective on the world and help us grow as people. We need to keep an open mind for these sorts of things because they can teach us so much. It might be hard to do sometimes, but I want to ask you two for a small favour,” they nod silently, not questioning or hesitating at your words, fully trusting in your sensible knowledge — their mother was always a brick wall when it came to the opinions of others, they couldn’t penetrate her, especially when it came to opposite views on blood purity so, to see her encouraging such undogmatic behaviour, is peculiar but in a strangely motivating way. They find that they want to do whatever it is that you want to ask them to do no matter what, “I want the two of you to try to understand the other side of any argument or opposite view. The world isn’t as black and white as we think it is. We have to try to be understanding and empathetic people. There may be reasons someone sees the world a certain way and even if we don’t agree or like their opinion, the least we can do is try to understand them. Just try. That’s all… that’s enough,”

It was a lot to take in and it was a lot to ask of such young minds that were still developing. But you weren’t asking for them to be perfect at it. All you want them to do is try.

“Alright, Mother,” Sirius nods with solid determination in his eyes. 

“Whatever you wish, Mother,” Regulus says at the same time, also glowing with resolve. 

Smiling happily, you bring them into a group hug, your arms easily curling around their small shoulders as you press another kiss to their temples, “you don’t have to be perfect, just try,“ you reiterate in a whisper, “I’m so proud of you, my darlings, you make mommy so happy,” you don’t see it but you feel their bright smiles press into your neck from either side as they return your embrace and nuzzle their faces into the junction of your neck and shoulders.

˖  ݁𖥔.☁︎.𖥔 ݁ ˖

Their lesson ended a few minutes ago and, like routine, they wave off Peony at the living room fireplace while you set up the study with all the things you planned on having them do for the afternoon. You asked them if they wanted to take a break before your lesson but they said they were happy to begin right away. They were able to detect the sparkle of excitement in your eyes as you left after their lunch break and were now filled with the same eagerness to begin your lesson.

Setting up their table with tools, aprons and a protective mat warmed your heart. You had planned so many things to do with your future children in your original life, read so many books and attended so many talks, lectures and groups on how to be a good mother that your heart was finally able to heal the scars that resulted from the infertility diagnosis you were slammed with years ago. You felt like a failure, not only as a mother but as a woman to be told that. It wasn’t until you were able to recover from that debilitating news that you finally began to consider adoption. It took years and years and the building of a corporate empire to finally get to that point but then, you were doomed once more. At the centre of a collision in the busy city streets, you lost consciously accepting your fate only to end up here…it was all quite a blessing really. Now you have two beautiful sons to call your own and to love with all of your heart. As an added bonus, they’re also two of your favourite characters from the Harry Potter universe. 

You could barely contain your excitement when you heard a small knock at the door to the study. They were here. 

“Come in, darlings,”

Stepping into the room, Sirius and Regulus gasp in awe and begin jumping on the spot ever so slightly from feverish anticipation. In your outstretched hands were two small, grey aprons, one displaying Sirius’ name and the other Regulus’ along the upper seam of the apron’s breast pocket. Without being asked, they step up to their aprons and reach forward to put the article on themselves. As they do so,  you announce what you will be doing for the afternoon. 

“Clay sculptures?” Sirius almost squeals in excitement as Regulus bounces on the balls of his feet. 

“We’ve never done that before,” Regulus chimes as you kneel behind him to help with tying up his apron, eventually moving on to redo Sirius’ clumsy knot as well.

“It’ll be fun,” you giggle, “fun and messy,” Sirius appreciates the hint of mischief in your voice and rushes to take a seat at the table with Regulus toddling along close behind him. You take a seat too and begin to talk them through the little sculpting tools they have beside them, the small mountain of clay at their disposal and the use for the bowls of water within reach. 

Regulus is listening but he can’t help glimpsing down at his stitched-on name tag every few seconds or so. His chest feels warm and so so tight that he feels like he’s about to burst. You had hand-stitched his name tag onto the apron yourself. He recognised the inexperienced, inconsistent stitches but he thinks it’s the most beautiful display of embroidery he has ever seen. There’s also the revelation that Regulus didn’t need to wait to go to Hogwarts to know that you would be attentive enough to do the same thing for his clothes as you did to Sirius’. He feels special and he loves the affectionate attention you were giving him, all the motherly love he and his older brother had always dreamed of experiencing was finally happening, not only through kind words but in warm hugs, soft kisses and silent acts of service too. He feels a surge of wanting to do well in everything, from studying to writing to eating to sleeping — all of it! He’ll do well in all of it. He only wants to make you proud. 

“Let’s begin with rolling out a piece of our clay,” you start, encouraging them to get messy, keep their clay hydrated and not worry about the state of their tools because you’ll all be washing them at the end together. After that, you had them make little balls using their hands and then roll out one ball into a flat sheet using their small rolling pins. With another ball, you instructed them to attempt making it flat using their hands instead, which helped you explain that moving around the clay with their hands makes the clay easier to mould.  

“Have you two been learning about muggle sciences?” you gently ask as the two go about flattening their spheres a little more so that they can carve patterns into them using their small wooden tools. 

“Yeah, I like the one called physics,” Sirius grins, eyes still focused on his clay.

“Me too!” Regulus chimes and the two brothers grin at each other, which makes you smile. 

“That’s very good,” you nod, spotting an opportunity, “so where do you think the heat comes from when we roll out our clay?” 

“From our hands,” Sirius immediately answers. 

“That’s right, anything else?”

The question is open for the two of them but Regulus is the one who answers next, “From all the moving around,”

“Brilliant, my darlings,” you praise and they grin pridefully. 

“Now, can you name the types of energies those are called? If you’ve learned about them, that is,” The brothers look at each other before beginning to ponder separately. The silence draws on so you decide to give them a little help, “What are all the energies called?” They do just fine with regurgitating the ten different energy types and that seems to be enough to prompt Regulus. 

“The moving around is kinetic energy,”

Sirius jumps to answer as well, “and our hands transfer the thermal energy,”

“Good good!” you give them a small round of applause, which they bashfully smile at, “you two are so clever!… What did I hear about this ‘transferring’ of energy, Siri?” your question comes out in a nonchalant tone. 

“Peony says that energy is stored and transferred,” Sirius answers, “and that they sometimes turn into another type of energy,”

“I see,” you look down at your own clay spheres and sheets, “where is the thermal energy from my hands coming from?” once again, they’re silent, “I think this can link to biology, specifically our biology,” that gets the cogs in their brains turning again and you can’t help but coo at their adorable thinking faces. 

“It’s from…” Regulus begins, immediately catching both yours and Sirius’ undivided attention, your eyes equally encouraging him to continue with his answer, “It’s from the energy in our food,”

Eyes sparkling with delight, you prompt him once more, “And what energy is that called?”

“…Chemical!”

“Good job!” Sirius claps for his brother’s success and reaches up for a high five that Regulus happily hits and once again, they’re grinning at each other. 

“What about for the movement?” This was a trick question but your boys are clever so you have full faith in them. Regulus already answered his share so he silently backs out from the arena by looking up at Sirius who begins to ruminate. “…well the movement has to come from somewhere, doesn’t it?” you thoughtfully point out, beginning to play around with your clay and trying to look innocent about it despite it being a definite clue. 

“It comes from us!” Sirius explains and looks down to play around with his clay too. You stay silent as you let him think and reach the conclusion on his own but you’re already so so proud of their intelligent displays, “…so it’s the same answer, it’s also from chemical energy…” he seems unsure from his tone but the minute he looks up to meet your eyes, the smile on your lips and the applause from you and Regulus has him beaming. 

“My sons are so so clever! I’m very proud of you both!”

That was enough of that — you only remember so much from your younger science education — so you move on to teach them about hatching and being able to stick two pieces of clay together with a little bit of water in order to make a small box with no lid. Thankfully, that was the final thing you intended to teach them before letting them make their own creations. 

“Now, you can make whatever you want with your clay. After this, I’ll bake them so they become solid, and then, we can paint them together. If you run out of clay, just ask and I’ll get you some more,” the two buzzed in their seats from the excitement and you were just as eager to let them loose with their creativity. “You can also make more than one thing but limit yourself to just two or three, please. Also make sure that whatever you make suits a function, it can be anything at all; you can even get some ideas from this muggle book on clay crafting,” you present them with the children’s clay craft book and place it where they can easily reach, “don’t mind getting the edges dirty, as long as the main text and pictures aren’t too muddied up by clay, it’s fine. It’s supposed to get used earnestly anyway,” they smile at your proactive reassurance but only Regulus goes for the clay book while Sirius goes about making his desired creation right away. 

For a while, Sirius cannot decide what to actually make. His speediness into action makes his younger brother peer over at him anxiously quite a few times but his initial unease gradually fades when he realises his older brother keeps changing his mind, flattening a scarcely sculpted creation just as quickly as he begins a new one. You don’t want to interrupt their independent creative flows and get to work on something you’ve already planned to create, a modest gift for your darling boys. 

Some time goes by in silence before you call for Kreacher to play one of the vinyls you managed to buy from a record shop when out on errands to muggle London. You had bought several along with the gramophone at the shop. When you first bought it home, the boys were eager to find out what it was and spent a lot of time happily winding it up so that you could all listen to the records together. It would have been preferable to get the electrical one but it would have been useless in the predominantly magic-operated house.  

“Great choice, Kreacher,” you smile at the house elf who nods timidly by the gramophone and promptly disappears when he feels as though he is no longer needed. The Beatles’ Abbey Road album plays in the background as the soundtrack to your clay sculpting session for several songs-worth of minutes before you finally get up to independently ask the boys about what they had chosen to make. ‘Oh! Darling’ sings in the distant corner as you kneel beside Sirius and quietly ask about his creation and what its function would be. In a whisper, he replies without turning to look at you, far too focused on his creation to divert any significant attention from it.  

“I’m making plant pots,” he begins, his pink tongue slightly poking out of the corner of his mouth, “for the cooking herbs you said you wanted to grow in the kitchen, but I’m also making one for Reggie since he says he wants to grow a plant in his room,” after his nonchalant explanation, your heart soars. It would be a fair assessment to say that Regulus has spoken to him about exploring gardening. You didn’t know your youngest wanted to grow a green thumb but it was a pleasant surprise — you’ll see about taking him to a muggle plant shop soon, you don’t quite trust wizarding plants in the household. A succulent or mini cactus would be a good choice. 

Pressing a kiss onto Sirius’ cheek, you whisper a soft thank you and praise his thoughtfulness before moving on to Regulus. For a moment, the elder brother wishes he could grow out his hair so that you are less likely to notice his flushed cheeks and red-tipped ears. You also kneel by Regulus’ side to whisper the same questions about his creation. 

“I’m making a little jewellery dish for your rings and necklaces and earrings, Mother. And I’m also going to make one for Siri since he’ll be getting the family ring when he’s older. Sirius’ one is going to be star-shaped because he’s named after the brightest star and yours is going to be heart-shaped because…well…” Regulus can’t finish his sentence as his blush floods his entire face with heat. But he doesn’t need to finish his explanation, he’s said all you needed to hear to coo over his thoughtfulness and press a kiss to his cheek also. They’re such sweet boys. That bitch Walburga was blessed to have them and yet she mistreated them so much, they didn’t deserve any of that. Tender love and care is what they truly deserve and that will be your sole mission and life’s purpose for this existence. 

“What are you making, Mother?” Regulus asks unprompted when you finally sit back down by your humble creations again. The youngest’s question makes Sirius perk up and eye you with interest, his grey eyes flicking between you and the carefully shaped clay by your hands. 

“I’m making little star-shaped pendants for my little star boys,” smiling at their flustered expressions, you elaborate further, “I’m going to poke a hole near the top point so I can thread it through a chain and you can wear it as a necklace or a bracelet — you can choose,” you show them one with a carved ’S’ on it, “this one is for Siri,” next you present the one with an ‘R’ on it, “and this one is for Reggie,” they beam in happiness at the getting such a personalised gift from you and continue their clay projects with new-found vigour. 

It was relatively easy to create the small star pendants so, inspired by Regulus’ creations, you proceeded to craft minimalist ring bands, one each of you. Sirius’ you carved the same sort of archaic patterns as that of his wand, for Regulus, you did simple lines with an occasional dot and for yours, evenly placed mini daisies. At first, it was purely for making sure that Regulus didn’t feel left out from Sirius getting the family ring but, looking at your modest creations, your magnate mind begins to manifest an innovative idea you’re itching to begin. Your schedule is going to fill up very quickly and soon — there isn’t a chance that you’ll wait on this. 

1st September 1971

Today couldn’t have crept up on you quickly enough. One minute you were settling into a cosy routine with your darling sons and now you were sending the eldest away for wizarding boarding school. It was happening too fast and your heart was constantly breaking from being torn between freely letting him go and childishly begging him to stay so that you could spend as much time with him as possible. Even the novelty of rushing onto platform 9¾ through the brick wall between platforms 9 and 10 couldn’t keep the tears from filling your eyes. However, your unhappiness and woe were quickly wiped away when Sirius expressed muted sadness at the idea that his father was too busy to see him off to Hogwarts. That morning, try as you might you couldn’t convince Orion to be there for his son. The git was lucky Sirius had interrupted your argument to express his acceptance and neutrality over the situation or else you would have clocked the pretentious asshole’s jaw. You would be surprised if the hypothetical punch landed hard enough to dislocate both of his temporomandibular joints. He would be eating through a tube if it weren’t for your little boy’s interruption but you’ll be sure to sink your teeth into your git of a husband as soon as you get home. 

Regulus seems to be whispering something to his older brother as they share a hug of goodbye. There was plenty of time for Sirius to get onto the train - you made sure of that - and you promised to wave him off as the train left the station so none of you were in any rush to leave the other. You kindly smile down at their wholesome interaction, completely drawn in by their innocence and heartfelt brotherly love for each other. Their relationship was worth preserving and building up. You were once saddened by Sirius and Regulus’ torn apart brotherhood but now, you’ll be devastated if your sons ever broke their bond like in the movies and books. So distracted by your loveable sons’ endearing display, you miss the shocked looks you were receiving from fellow parents of other children who were also boarding to attend Hogwarts — they simply couldn’t believe it! 

Everyone knew the matriarch of the Black family. However, the very picture of her now was not what was to be expected. Rumours of her cold and unsympathetic disposition appeared as slanderous lies when they took in your warm smile and fond stare, looking solely upon your two sons. It was well-known amongst the wizarding community that the famous Black family’s eldest son, Sirius Black, would begin attending Hogwarts this year. They expected to see a conceited and substantially reserved display of the family by the platform but not… not this! This is something for the papers! Had the matriarch of the most ancient and noble house of Black always looked this beautiful and kind? Surely not!… But their eyes weren’t being deceived, they were seeing the truth! Many gasped and openly stared, thankfully hushed down by the nosiness of the platform, whilst others didn’t know how to interpret the display and opted to avert their eyes.

Around his small wrist, Sirius keeps your clay star pendant around his wrist, which had been painted a deep black per his request while the ’S’ is marked with metallic silver paint. He has such good taste for aesthetics despite his young age. Every day there was something new to be proud of him for, no matter how little. You love being a mother!

“Oh darling, I’m going to miss you so so much. You must promise me that you’ll take care of yourself, don’t be scared about making friends,” you look him in the eye as you say so, combing your fingers through his hair and pushing away the curling locks from his forehead, “they’re going to love you just as much as I do,”

“Me too, Siri,” Regulus’ soft interjection brings out a mutual laugh from you and the eldest Black brother. Sirius brings Regulus into another hug that you are also brought into.

“And if they don’t like you then they can suffer having none of those mini pies I baked for you,” the two of you share a smirk and a wink. Sirius had requested some shelf-stable foods to bring such as his favourite chutney, jams and jerky, all homemade by you, especially for him. Of course, you didn’t say no. You even suggested bringing along something yummy for the train ride despite already providing him an allowance to spend on the trolley. 

“Regulus and I will write to you as often as we can so be on the lookout for our letters, okay?” he nods, eyes already sparkling from the anticipation and thought of receiving mail by owl solely for him. A letter addressed only to him, with his name on the envelope, and meant only for him to read — his feverish anticipation was to be expected. He couldn’t wait for his first letter. 

“I’ll write back just as much, promise!” 

“Good because if you don’t,” you scold playfully as Sirius bites back a cheeky giggle, “I’ll go to Hogwarts and demand a written letter back myself, I’ll bring Reggie with me too so that’s twice the heat you’ll be under young man, don’t forget,”

“Never,” Sirius whispers as he throws himself into your embrace once more. There’s never going to be enough hugging to satiate your aching heart, nor squash the sadness of watching your baby grow up too fast but, knowing the mischief and fun he’ll be getting up to, makes you almost giddy with excitement. You want to read all about it in his letters home! 

As much as you’d like to have said your farewells for longer, Sirius still needed to board and needed help with his luggage. Thankfully there were plenty of staff to help him lug it all around, which you smiled gratefully for. They seemed stunned by your courtesy but tipped their caps in acknowledgement and whispered a quick ‘thanks’ in return, regardless. 

Stepping back from the platform with Regulus at your side, the two of you try to follow Sirius along the train compartments as closely as you can until you finally see him settling into a box by himself. You wonder if he’ll be meeting his fellow marauders soon — god! You wish you could see them as adorable 11-year-old babies like your Sirius right now. 

Regulus toddles up to be closer to the window, opposed to the thought of separating from his brother and tries to hold one last conversation with Sirius as everyone waits for the train to depart. To hear him clearer, Sirius reaches up to open the window. Smiling at the pair fondly, you almost miss a heart-stopping sight. From your left peripheral, you spot an untameable mess of dark hair and round hazel eyes sparkling in jubilation, framed with an adorable pair of round glasses — you barely withhold your gasp of surprise. But all too soon, from your right, you glimpse a head of neatly trimmed but slightly grown-out brown hair, belonging to a rather spindly boy swamped under a cosy autumn-brown jumper. On his softly curving jaw is a light, nicking scar and when he turns his head ever so slightly, you see another more prominent scar marked across the pudge of his cheek. You’ve seen a wild, baby-ish James Potter and Remus Lupin. Almost all of the marauders were spotted getting onto the Hogwarts Express but do you even want to see the final member? No! Of course not! It was then that you noticed sandy-blonde hair weaving through the crowds of parents wishing their children farewell – a last-minute attempt at getting onto the train on time. Behind him, he is followed by a similarly blonde woman, his mother. Goodness, both share such startling similarities, both have curved edges to their silhouette, pink cheeks and sea-blue eyes. They looked like an adorable pair and you had to admit that Peter’s portly appearance made him incredibly endearing for his age. They looked like an ordinary, harmless mother-son pair, much like you and your boys…

A whistle pierces through the station and snaps you out of your daze. Finally turning back to your Sirius, your eyes tear up again for the umpteenth time that day. Regulus had rushed back to your side, clinging onto the long, black skirt of your dress with one hand as he used the other to wave goodbye. Silently, you mouth an ‘I love you’. He isn’t as surprised as when you whispered the same affection to him whilst still on the platform so he was able to mouth it back — ‘I love you too, Mother,’ — your heart pinches. Picking Regulus up, you sit him on the curve of your hip and wave Sirius off together. You see the slight shimmer of tears in Sirius’ eyes too just before the train moves too far and takes Sirius away with it. 

You miss him already.

SERIES M.LIST | NEXT. 05 : SIRIUS : FIRST DAY →

A/N : surprise! goodness, this was a really big chapter hehe~ i hope you darlings enjoyed the read! i also would like to gently remind everyone that i am no longer doing taglists but to be notified whenever i post something, please follow and turn on notifications for reblog side account: @thekqipond where i will be reblogging every new fic as soon as i post it! the reason i was able to post this chapter a month ahead of my official come-back in October was to test my taglist solution and the order of chapters i want to post by Christmas ;) i hope you enjoy!

please like, comment and reblog to show your support, i'd really appreciate it! property of kquil ; all written content is mine and no one else's unless stated otherwise ; do not steal, plagiarise, modify or translate to other sites

[pakunod-a]

Idia Shroud, who..

...can't fathom how you ever got around to talking to him. He was convinced you were too good for him.

...seems to be a bit more gloomy than usual.

—oh, no, it's not you. He just can't process how such a lovely human being could ever be his friend.

...can't believe it's been so long since you've first DM'ed him. He didn't even have to do anything at all.

...has a hard time believing you wouldn't up and find someone else to befriend. You're.. probably his first genuine friend. Why wouldn't you want to stay good friends with him?

...is your closest online friend. You've met a little short over a year ago, and now he's a little too attached.

...is one of your closest confidants. Despite not being friends with you in person, you trust him with major things, like your game accounts, your Magicord account, your IP address <3

...is your duo on most games. You support him, and oftentimes, he lets you carry.

...doesn't trust you when you say that your "friends" are only with you to hang out. They must have ulterior motives, no?

...is very, very fortunate he installed an app that lets him see through your webcam. You were so ethereal, it was unbelievable.

...thinks you look like a masterpiece crafted by the very hands of a god themselves. This is who he's been talking to all this time? He's breath-taken.

...starts slowly getting insecure every time you try and turn down his offers to game together. His mind starts going to the worst possible places imaginable.

...can't have you getting any ideas of leaving him. You're basically his best friend, dare I say his platonic? lover. You put your Minecraft beds together. You went to the Heart Island on Genshin Impact with him. He does all your dailies for you whenever you aren't available, and vice versa. You're practically married at this point.

...is waiting for the right time to strike. Not now, but soon. You shouldn't suspect it. If he fails, he risks losing his beloved friend.

...monitors you closely. It's just a matter of time, you know. After all, you're playing hard to get. And Idia does love a good challenge.

...watches your every move. You like to sing in the shower, don't you? You sound so talented.. undeserving of someone like him. You enjoy the company of cats? How coincidental.. he does too. You have so much in common already.

...has your room set up next to his. You'll live with him, eventually. When he finds the courage to do it.

Idia Shroud, who will forever be your Player 1. Won't you be his Player 2, too?

long note below here, skip if not interested

A/N: hello :)

it's been a while, how have you all been?

i apologize for being on a hiatus of some sort. and for the rushed and short idia post T-T

it's going to be the start of a busy year for me, i am graduating after all.

i have lots of posts i need to publish and rewrite, but unfortunately my schedule is too packed, and the only times i feel free enough to write are after-school hours, which are 8 pm - 12 am for me.

i might just end up reuploading more fics from my old blog, or writing a bit more for other series i'm into. (hxh, obey me, twst, mlbb, genshin, and hsr <3 perhaps trese if anyone's heard about it? 👀)

but if i ever come back to posting, what kind of content would you guys like to see?

my requests and inbox(?) are always open. please do drop by and say hello, or drop a request you would like to see written by me. i find that requests or ideas from others often get my brian going.

if you wish to find me elsewhere, my tiktok and my discord users are both pakunod.a :)

i would like to come back again with posts for you to read, or a few of my practice drawings for you to see.

perhaps in the future. :)

as always, stay safe, keep yourself healthy, stay hydrated, and always love yourself. <3

- 1, Yuan

[smilingformoney]

Rickmas 2023: Day 12. Giver of Gifts | Steven/Reader

AN: I thought twice about writing for Steven as he was a real person but I read that the real Steven said the character was nothing like him, so this is entirely based on the fictional character played by Alan and is nothing to do with the real Steven Spurrier or his real wife at all.

Read now on Ao3 or below the cut:

Being married to a world-renowned wine connoisseur wasn’t always as fun as it sounded. Of course, you loved being married to Steven, but as far as his status in the wine industry went, there were some downsides. Other people, mainly.

Some people - and these were the types to always order the cheapest white on the menu at any restaurant they went to - couldn’t fathom how Steven made a living out of his passion for wine. “I wish I could get paid for drinking wine!” they’d laugh, as if they were the first to make that joke. “Do you get free wine?” Yes, you’d say, sometimes he brought home a bottle or two of his favourites from whatever wine competition he’d been off judging. “What’s the difference between a £5 bottle and a £500 bottle?” Ask him, not me, and be prepared to listen to the answer for a long time.

And Christmas… well, your family and friends had their hearts in the right places. But when you sat down to open the presents under your tree on Christmas Day, you did sometimes wish for a bit more variety than endless bottles of wine as gifts - especially as the wines were usually generic supermarket-shelf bottles.

They were usually nice wines, and before meeting Steven you’d have loved to be given a year’s supply of free wine every Christmas. You liked Moët, and to the average person £50 was a lot for a bottle of wine. And at least Steven let you drink it - the higher the price of a bottle he brought home, the less likely it was he’d ever actually open it. His wine cellar was like a dragon’s cave, rows and rows of unopened fancy wines that were made to be drunk but he’d never dream of opening them because they were so fancy.

But there was more to Steven than just wine. And there was more to you than the wife of a man who loves wine. But whenever anyone thought of the Spurriers, they thought of wine, and so that was what you got.

And you couldn’t complain really - not since you’d actually bought him wine too. But you’d gone all out on this one. You were fortunate enough to earn a healthy amount of money in your own career, so although it stretched the budget a bit, it didn’t break the bank for you to buy him a £4,500 bottle of JS Terrantez.

Steven opened your present last, and his eyes lit up when he pulled the 200-year-old bottle from the bag you’d presented it in.

“[Y/n]!” he exclaimed with a gasp, turning over the bottle in his hand carefully, as if worried it might explode. “What on earth has gotten into you? You can’t give me this, it’s too much!”

“Don’t be silly, Steve,” you replied, nudging him. “I know how irritated you get at how many Barefoots and Echo Falls we get every year. I thought it was about time someone got you a good wine.”

“Good? This is the sixth most expensive wine in the world, [Y/n].”

“And it’s not even French, would you believe it?”

Steven rolled his eyes at you. His famous 1976 wine tasting had taken place years before you’d met, but you still liked to tease him about it.

“This is such a thoughtful gift, [Y/n]. Thank you.”

He kissed you on the cheek, and you blushed. He wasn’t the most affectionate man in the world, and you’d come to terms with that a long time ago - it just meant that when he did show affection, it meant all that much more to you.

“Can I open my present now?” you asked, eyeing up the one single gift under the tree that wasn’t in a wine bag.

“Alright, but I wish you’d opened it earlier, it pales in comparison to this.”

Steven carefully set aside the bottle to take down into the cellar later, and retrieved the last present from under the tree for you. You pulled back the wrapping paper to reveal a framed photo of the two of you from your wedding.

“Oh, Steve, I love it!” you exclaimed. You wrapped your arms around him, surprising him, and kissed him on the cheek.

“You do? I know we don’t have a lot of photos of us, so I thought it’d be nice to have something to put on the mantelpiece.”

“You mean other than the photos of you with important wine people?”

“Precisely. You’re far more important than any of them. But I feel bad now, it’s nothing compared to that Terrantez —”

“Well, I think it’s my favourite present this year. I’m going to put it right here on the mantel, and we can look at it while we drink these cheap wines and you tell me all about why they’re so terrible even though they taste fine.”

Steven smiled, your enthusiasm infectious, and he was grateful to have a wife so loving as you, who understood his passion - even if you didn’t quite understand the difference between a Merlot and a Shiraz.

[oblivionbladetd]

The Unfortunate Implications of Pokemadhouse: The Big One.

Tldr: Lily's negligence leaves G the offender in multiple Rape Allegories. By extention, making a story about loving and forgiving a rapist.

I know for a lot of people that's already put a pit in your soul and got your guts doing flips, so if you want the proof in the year old moldy pudding, follow me under the cut.

Her insistence on calling it the "Mating Bond" really is the biggest, sturdiest nail in this particular coffin, for even for those lovey-dovey birds that do this forever mated dies without the other thing, it's still mostly a sex and survival thing. Which alone puts G in this weird place without diving deeper, It puts a connotation that G would fuck a child to not die. Which in a "gun to your head do this or something awful happens" sense? I mean, uneasy forgiveness, if any... but let's not unpack that quite yet because.

Lily was asleep... because if anything really enhances ignoring the age of consent, it's just dodging consent almost entirely. For G engages this mating bond by entering Lily's dreams and getting the consent while Lily isn't in the right state of mind. So allegorical statutory and date rape! I want to cry... how do you get this bad at blindness to your own implications? BUT HOLD ON BECAUSE IT STILL GETS WORSE!

Bonnie. As said before, she was made through sabotaged extinction prevention measures without Lily's knowledge prior to her popping into existence. At this is all I have to say is that it sure is fortunate that Lily just already had the funds to take care of a child allocated, and that Bonnie was created as a lol random but not annoying model child with zero downsides, AND is perfectly healthy despite being a Dumpster fire of genetic mixing between 2 species. Cause if that wasn't the case, then Bonnie being an allegorical rape baby would be really weird! Seriously though what the fuck, Lily?

Mix it all together with the rest of Madhouse, and we get a story where, despite numerous occasions of crossing lines both past and present, a rapist is forgiven and declared the spiritual sister of her victim! If I need to elaborate on why that's fucked dare I say it might be too late for you. To make it all worse is that Lily stands accused of having molested and raped her very own sister, Courtney. So if you believe Courtney at all, you need only shift your focus on G being the real self insert, it becomes twisted wish fulfillment, wishing that the Sister she assaulted would forgive her and become part of her life as a sister again. What makes this more insidious is that she knows that she's been breaching too far, having deleted and hastily replaced the original violate arc. Given how her real life writes a lot of the plot that isn't wordplay gags, I would be willing to take away the benefit of the doubt with it being anything other than wish fulfillment, but in the basic courtesy that I have to afford lest I become the thing I hate I will hold back from saying in a definitive way that Lily is thristy for incest.

What I will say is that the fact that this implication exists at all, in a work made by a Critic that has DAYS of content ripping into poor implications like what I have detailed today, is a legendarily bad look AT BEST. I do not expect the works of critics to be good, mind you, but that does not excuse the sheer blind incompetence on display. The absolute most charitable takeaway is that Lily has never suffered hearing herself speak or had the burden of a second thought weighing on her mind. Because if these implications are out of incompetence rather than purposeful inclusions, it speaks abyssally low of Lily's media literacy, and if it is intentional, then it's malicious if not stupid with the allegations surrounding her at time of writing.

[runawaymun]

Hey, I'm really sorry if this ask comes across as hostile, but due to recent experiences with another Tolkien fan, I do feel like I need to ask. In the tags of a recent post you reblogged, you mentioned being Christian. I know that there are many Christians who are kind, loving people who embrace the queer community, including trans people. But unfortunately, I also know there are a lot of Christians who don't. I would prefer to not follow someone who thinks I and people like me are evil simply because of who we are, or who try to pull that 'love the sinner hate the sin' crap. I am not saying that you are one of those people, but I have unfortunately encountered enough of those types of Christians (even in fandom spaces) that when someone says they are Christian, it makes me nervous. I understand my own religious trauma is my issue and I need to work through it, but I would still like to know how you feel about the queer community, as I greatly enjoy your fic and art and would like to continue enjoying your fic and art. Obviously you don't have to answer this ask and regardless of your answer you shouldn't be attacked. Sorry for rambling and I hope have a good day.

Hi there!

No I really appreciate the ask and I get it. I am glad you’re taking initiative to keep yourself safe and curate your online experience. I have a huge boatload of religious trauma myself from my upbringing so when I say I completely understand, please know that I really do.

I’m openly GNC bisexual myself & a trans & nb ally and a member of the queer community who writes a lot of ragingly gay fanfic and l am also a member of the Christian faith. I grew up raised extremely evangelical and am not anymore. I just read the Book, do my own religious practice, believe in God, and try to be active in the little Lutheran church I sometimes attend because Church community is important to me and I’m fortunate to have finally found a church community that is both a safe place for me as an openly queer person & also has sound doctrine and theology. It was a long road to finding one because I’m not willing to compromise on either of those lol.

I spent a long, long time decompressing from my upbringing and unpacking my religious trauma (therapy!!), and came to the conclusion from studying the book & long prayer & discussion with other queer Christians that God Is Not Small. The Church’s historical and current hatred toward queerness is a manufactured product of Man, not God. I’ve spent years studying all of the classic “bludgeoning passages” that are brought up to go “see!!!!!!! See the Bible says it’s a sin!!!!!!!” And found through linguistic study and intersectional doctrine that, actually, no those passages have nothing to do with people in consensual, healthy, committed queer relationships. The Bible has nothing to say about trans people or enby people either. It has a lot to say about how we are all unique and diverse and made imago dei, that we are loved — and that is the truest thing about us. Again: God is not small. God does not have a gender. The Bible even makes references to God having a womb in some poetry and prophecy chapters (metaphorically, but the point being that God is not “male”). Jesus never married. Paul was arguably ace. Jesus healed a gay centurion’s boyfriend and told him “go in peace”.

Sorry, I’m rambling too!!! TLDR: I am a proud member of the queer community and I am Christian and I don’t believe those things are antithetical. I’ve experienced a lot of pain at the hands of Christians, but never from the hands of God — only love and comfort. And I am fortunate and extremely grateful to finally have friends and a church community who strive for Christlike behavior and agree with me that God Is Not Small, and that God’s love is infinite and diverse. We’re made imago dei— so why should we be any different? 🫶

Hope this helps clarify and again I appreciate the ask. I really wish you well on your healing journey with your religious trauma and whatever that looks like for you. I hope you have peace 💕 and if you ever want a friend who Gets It I’m happy to chat and I’m here 💕

[kindheart525]

One of Prophecy’s favorite things about her job was all the stories she got to hear from customers. While she had her fair share of hecklers and ponies who came in demanding a vision like she was a soulless vending machine, there were others who took the time to sit down with her and tell her about themselves. 

They shared their hopes and dreams, their greatest fears, all in hopes of a good fortune in their time of need. These were the respectful and gracious ones, the ones who treated her like a real pony they could trust.

Like the stallion in her shop right now.

“‘Scuse me, is this the fortune tellin’ place?”

He peeked in the door in a manner that was not shy but modest and cheerful.

“Yes, welcome to Opal’s Oracle Emporium!”

Prophecy greeted him as she did any customer, and he returned the gesture with a wide grin.

“Well golly gee, looks like I’m in the right place then!”

The stallion came in completely, looking around the shop and all its trinkets with his mouth open to comment. Then he stopped.

“Darn it, where are mah manners?”

He stepped back to wipe his hooves on the doormat, then approached the owner with a front leg outstretched.

“How do ya do? Mah name’s Rainier, I reckon you must be the owner of this place! Opal, ain’t it?”

“Madame Opal is fine with me. It’s nice to meet you, Rainier.”

Prophecy shook his hoof with a smile. Right away she knew she liked this customer, he seemed not only good-natured but courteous of her time and space. She wished more ponies were like this.

“Madame Opal, ‘scuse me! I like what you’ve done with the place, it’s real pretty! You decorate it yerself?”

“I did, thank you!”

Prophecy was deeply grateful for this compliment, but she didn’t let it distract her from her business as she gestured towards the seat across from her desk.

“Sit down if you’d like. How can I help you?”

Rainier sat right down, his cheery demeanor still present but more subdued, almost nervous.

“Well, I ain’t from around these parts. I’m not in the big city a whole lot and I certainly ain’t been in a shop like this before. Mah home’s way out in the country, on an apple farm. So I don’t really know how this goes. But I’m dyin’ for some answers.”

He held his hooves to his chest, a bashful blush spreading across his face.

“Y’see Madame, I’ve been with mah special somepony fer a few years now. I’ve loved her since the moment we met but I know she likes to take it slow, so I made sure not to rush into things. We’ve been takin’ our time, gettin’ to know each other, savin’ our bits for a life together. But somethin’ in me is tellin’ me it’s time, it’s finally time…that I ask Red Cedar to marry me.”

Then he turned to Prophecy, almost pleadingly.

“I got a real strong hunch, but I wanna be sure. Honest to Gaia. I don’t wanna take things too fast or too slow, I don’t wanna make a move either of us could regret. Which is why I moseyed on down here. Can ya give me a sign?”

“Well, tell me about this Red Cedar. Tell me about your relationship, what you like about her. Then we shall see.”

Prophecy inquired, sensing that the stallion already knew what he wanted to do. He just needed a little push.

“She’s just the loveliest mare to ever grace Gaia’s green earth!”

Rainier proclaimed.

“I just don’t know how ta put it inta words. She’s got the biggest heart of anypony I know. Always lookin’ out for others. Last month I had a real bad cold and she stuck by mah side the entire time, takin’ care o’ me and makin’ sure I got well, even though she got tha same cold a week later. I told ‘er not to worry, I wanted to keep ‘er healthy, but she did it anyway.”

He lovingly chuckled to himself.

“‘Course I returned the favor of carin’ for her, without even thinkin’ of it. I always do for everything she does for me, she deserves all o’ that and so much more. I really hope what I can do is even close to enough.”

“It sounds like you both do a wonderful job of looking out for each other.”

Prophecy reassured him.

“Well, I sure try. But lookin’ out for ponies is just in Cedar’s nature, it ain’t just me she cares for. She’s real good with foals too. Always has been. You should see the way she cares for her lil sis, even as Vi’s gotten bigger and don’t need ta be taken care of as much. Cedar does it anyway, for everypony she loves. Always has snacks and bandages in her saddlebags, and a word of advice whenever she thinks somepony’s ‘bout to get themselves into a pickle. And I’ll tell ya a little something…”

Rainier leaned in like he was telling a secret, although what he was about to tell wasn’t much of a secret.

“Cedar’s always wanted ta be a momma. An’ to be completely honest, I think she already is one. Jus’ without the foals. We’ve already agreed that if we get married we’ll have a big family, an’ I wanna help her achieve that dream. I’d sure love to be her foals’ Pa.”

“I have no doubt you’d be wonderful parents. And I have no doubt that Cedar is a wonderful friend…and a wonderful pony.”

It almost makes me wish I knew her.

Prophecy thought, but decided to keep the focus on him.

“She sure is!”

Rainier nodded along eagerly, but then his expression was tinged with a bit of sadness.

“I just wish she knew that.”

Prophecy didn’t even have to prompt him for him to explain.

“This is jus’ between us, so don’t you go tellin’ anypony—“

“I won’t.”

“—but I’m not real sure Cedar knows her worth the way I do. Sure, she makes mistakes sometimes, like anypony does, but she acts like she’s wronged Gaia herself whenever she does. Now, I’m a Gaia-lovin’ stallion mahself, but that’s just not how I like to live life—anyway…”

He stopped himself from veering into a deeply personal tangent, out of respect for Cedar and the comfort of the mare he was talking to, who might not have been of the same faith as him.

“She’s an amazin’ singer an’ songwriter. In fact, when I first met her, she was in a band! She swears up an’ down she’s average at best, but I swear it’s like a choir of angels whenever I catch her singin’ to herself while doin’ chores.“

Rainier got all gushy again as he continued on.

“An’ golly, you should hear her laugh. It’s the most adorable thing I ever did hear. She always looks away whenever she does, like she don’t want anypony ta see her face, but I wish she didn’t feel like she had ta hide when she’s at her happiest. I just…there practically ain’t a single thing I don’t love about Cedar. An’ I wanna spend the rest o’ my life lettin’ her know that.”

At this point, he was no longer just speaking to Prophecy but declaring the full extent of his love to the universe. As she listened, Pro almost found herself envying Cedar, but not in a negative way. It wasn’t Rainier she wanted, but the same love and devotion he so clearly had for his beloved, from some other mare or stallion she would cross paths with one day. 

Maybe she would meet them in this very shop, or run into them while grocery shopping, or maybe they had already crossed paths before. But Rainier’s speech gave Prophecy hope that she, too, could find somepony who loved her just as much.

She had to snap back to reality to see that Rainier was looking right at her, asking the ultimate question he had come to ask.

“So do ya think I should do it? Do ya think it’s time I ask her to marry me?”

Unlike most scenarios, Prophecy didn’t have to do a single magical thing to know the answer.

“Yes.”

Rainier almost squealed with glee, but he stifled himself.

“Oh gosh, are ya sure? Are ya sure she’d say yes?”

“If she doesn’t, maybe she just needs a little more time. I doubt it though, I’m sure she knows how lucky she is to have you. So yes, I am sure.”

Prophecy reached under her desk, but instead of pulling out her box of artifacts to play with, she plucked a bright red apple right out of her own lunch bag. Then she placed it in Rainier’s hooves, clasping them around it firmly.

“If she says yes, plant some seeds on the land you call home. Watch them grow along with the family you create together. I have no doubt you’ll take care of them, that you’ll take care of her.”

Rainier was absolutely beaming, now without a hint of uncertainty.

“I will. I sure will, with everything I got. Thank ya kindly, Madame Opal.”

He started to get up, then stopped in realization.

“Oh, darn me, I shoulda paid! Would ya still accept it late?”

After such a pleasant visit, after hearing him pour out his heart, Prophecy couldn’t bring herself to take anything from Rainier. So she did something that she normally didn’t do.

“No need, this was on the house. Go spend those bits on her ring.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile: Spilled Salt Previous: Iconoclast Next: Blue Cat Crossing

[kitttenteeth]

I know what you mean having a lot of animals and them being a big responsibility. The animals I grew up with, my mother just happen to take in because they were strays and she’s always had a soft spot for animals but having had so many for years I think she realizes how expensive they can be and they quite literally keep you poor with all the vet bills and food costs and forget it when they get attacked by other animals it’s devastating financially and emotionally. You have such a good kind heart to put up with that all and I bet you don’t even mind because you love your animals so much. I know you also cannot just part with them either because that is also very difficult. I wish you a lot of luck! The best thing you can do for your babies is hustle hard at a job and get that bread to support them! Truly wish you the best kitty! 🐈‍⬛ I hope the beautiful spark I see within you shines bright again as well…

i cried just a liiitle bit Gah. thankyou so much anon t-t My boyfriend is rly the only person who reassures me that the things i do for the animals r special / important and that everything I do to get them 2 a quality of life they deserve isn’t dramatic so . it is just rly nice to hear words like that Thank u.. and my dad is much the same. I know he rly adores animals but has always just done what i feel is the barest minimum &if u can’t keep them happy + healthy + well - fed Then idk.don’t fuckin buy any more animals ! my mom also loves animals but I would describe her as sort of prissy Doesn’t wna get her hands dirty with things like that (except for any feline She would shower jn blood 4 them) and she sees me as a drama queen . Anyways When it gets hard It rly srsly does leave u devastated & helpless and . so much money LOL I am rly fortunate i’ve been able to afford what I can so far , idk if ppl generally understand how expensive just the food alone is for certain animals? Especially PEACOCKS n DUCKS ;-; god lol. i rlyly wish it didn’t have to come down 2 money . Thank U truly so much for ur words & the good luck i feel like i rly need it Lol. *sadSad meow* I will work hard! my dream Is still most def becoming a tattoo artist & owning my own shop But thru all of this i realized taking care of animals rly has always been the one only thing that makes me most fulfilled , i would rly love2 work towards a future where I can do more things like that. But money lol So we will see. nyways Thank u thank you 🐾 ! 🐈‍⬛

[benitocresta]

Welcome to Aurora Bay, Benito Cresta! I couldn't help but notice you look an awful lot like Michael Cimino. You must be the twenty-four year old instructor at timeless pottery studio. Word is you're doting but can also be a bit naive and your favorite song is Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac. I also heard you'll be staying in Fisher's Cove. I'm sure you'll love it! @aurorabayaesthetic

Basics -

Full name: Benito Luca Cresta

Nickname/s: Benny, Ben

Preferred name/s: Benito, Benny

Gender: Man

Pronouns: He/him

Age: Twenty-four

Birthday: December 3rd

Zodiac: Sagittarius

Sexuality: Bisexual

Relationship status: Single

Occupation: Pottery instructor & Freelance artist

Backstory -

Benito was born shortly prior to his parents' divorce, and as a result, he spent his upbringing half in Aurora Bay, where his father resided, and the other half a few hours away from the coast with his mother.

As a young child, there was absolutely no rest for Benito; he was always working on something in extravagant fashion, be it his latest craft project, his attempt at beating the hardest level in a video game, or his promise to catch his neighbour the biggest fish of the summer.

He wasn't the best student in school, despite earnestly trying his hardest. He succeeded better in classes with creative or athletic aspects, and was fortunate to have great teachers who really helped him through the rest.

Benito had no real interest in pursuing further education after completing high school, not wanting to be tied down to one place as he felt he was in school - despite his frequent travelling from one parent's house to the other.

Instead, Benito wanted to live a free, creative, joyous life. He decided that Aurora Bay would be the best setting for such a thing, and he soon found his own small yet charming home in Fisher's Cove.

From his early teen years, Benito always worked odd jobs around town, and often had multiple places of employment. After high school, he used a sum of his savings from his work to invest in an ambitious pottery project, and he quickly fell in love with it.

It wasn't the first time that Benito had engaged in the activity, but the pieces he made were beloved by manner buyers, and the support caused him to pursue pottery as a career.

He kept working elsewhere in the beginning of his pottery career, but it eventually became his only means of an income; after a series he did on TikTok where he made Fortnite based pieces went viral, Benito put more into his creations, and then took his pottery career a step further by becoming an instructor at Timeless Pottery.

Personality & more -

Benito certainly mellowed out as he grew older, but he never grew out of always being in the middle of seemingly millions of activities and projects; to this day he thrives best when he's busy.

He's an incredible friend; connection with others is the most important thing to him. Almost all of his actions and decisions are related to somebody else - he's selfless, and he has the biggest heart.

He's somewhat of a hopeless romantic, and even though he tends to always be busy, he's a good partner. He devotes himself to his partner while also staying true to himself and meeting all of his own needs, making his romantic history filled with healthy relationships.

He wants to be everybody's friend, and as he's so extraverted he doesn't struggle initiating friendships with those who are willing. While confident, he's not pushy, and he's generally good at reading signs from those who don't wish for him to come on too strong. He doesn't like to cross anyone's boundaries, and this talent certainly helps.

Outside of creating and instructing his pottery, Benito is often found playing sports, attending gigs and concerts, spending time with friends, creating TikToks, playing Fortnite, and getting himself up to all kinds of mischief with anyone willing to accompany him.

[plantdonutwrites]

💙 tmnt vday prompts · week 01 · leomin (leo x min-ji)

hello! it’s me again and i am PARTICIPATING and talking about ocs and ships and things I seldom ever talk about in public. WELL. here goes nothing.

1. in which tmnt universe does your pairing exist?

the 2003 animated series, also known as the series that has my entire heart.

2. introduce us to your otp.

well, you guys already know leo, of course. but this young lady here is min-ji seong! she’s a korean-american high school student who lives in new york city. she’s a pianist, but she also writes songs and plays the acoustic guitar. when she was eleven, she was in the subway when a bombing ‘incident’ happened and lost half of her left arm; she now has a cybernetic prosthetic. she’s a warm and empathetic person with a dash of trauma and skittishness.

3. how did they meet?

it’s a whole... thing, but they meet when leo and his brothers investigate the foot going into a building one night that ended up being min-ji’s aunt’s boutique, and she was working the closing shift when she was attacked and was either going to be abducted or murdered by the foot soldiers. you know the drill, though: our boys show up, take some names and beat up the bad guys, and the day is saved. for the moment, anyway. min-ji ended up being in the foot’s and the purple dragon’s cross hairs by no fault of her own... but that’s a story for another time.

4. how is the relationship now?

after upwards of two years of being friends (and pining), they eventually start dating and for the most part is great and wholesome and cute and very healthy. they’re very insightful and attentive to one another and feel safe in each other’s company. they both have their traumas and shortcomings, but fortunately are pretty good communicators, so any bigger issues between them are often immediately addressed and short lived.

5. what is each other’s love language?

words of affirmation and quality time are very big for the both of them, in both receiving and giving. acts of service is also present in the two of them, but not as prominent.

6. do they get married or have any kids?

no and no. the future is pretty uncertain, especially since min-ji has ambitions of becoming a professional musician of some kind, and who knows where that will take her. but for now they have each other and are fully committed to that, and that’s enough.

7. what is your favorite thing about this pairing? (gush as much as you want!)

oh, THIS is going under a cut.

leo got to be a first person witness in min-ji's growth and healing with her low self esteem, self worth, and also her traumas. and he is so, so proud of her and genuinely feels honored that he's gotten to be a part of her life and see her overcome obstacles of all kinds. he admires her inner strength and how all of her experiences haven't left her cold (like it had once done to him). She is continuously recovering from past experiences, learning how to defend herself and stand up for herself, and shows kindness to people even when they don't deserve it. not to mention she bonds significantly with his family--becoming close friends with raph, being a beam of support for don, and being silly with mikey and occasionally indulging in his mischief and playfulness. he appreciates that she cares deeply for his family and he wishes he could get to know her family in the same way.

on min-ji's part: when they first met and during the period of time where they were still getting to know one another, leo (intentionally or unintentionally) offered min-ji a lot of stability and a sense of safety that she didn't have in her life for a while, and she clutched onto it for dear life. she has always found him to be a calming, but strong presence, who was always gentle and hyper aware of her mood and her verbal and physical expressions of emotions and thoughts, which was like a breath of fresh air for her. min-ji finds leo easy to talk to and express herself with, even with difficult or embarrassing topics. learning more about his and his family’s past (especially with what happened at the end of season 3 and throughout the first half of season 4) made her even more sympathetic to them, and she admires how he was able to heal from those events as well. all in all, they’ve had intense roads to individual recovery and they found one another along the way, which is beautiful.

thanks for reading! 💙

credits!

· tmnt vday prompts

· tmnt otp meme

· art by @redstringraven​ (used with permission, thankie muchly)

[pebblysand]

okay, i'm going on a rant and i might make enemies but honestly this has been brewing inside me for weeks and i can't hold it in anymore.

i've seen a lot of content lately (and this is no one in particular, just a general trend) of people getting mad when fanfic writers 1) try to monetise their craft and 2) try to link their ko-fi/patreon/what-have-you to ao3. the general consensus seems to be that this endangers ao3 as a platform, that these "gen z-s" who aren't scarred by anne rice don't know the risks they're taking, that everyone will get sued, etc.

now, for the record, i do not put my own ko-fi in my a/n-s because a) i do want to respect the rules and, b) i don't really need to make money from ff, but:

i wish people would mind their own fucking business sometimes. if someone wants to take the risk to monetise their work because they need to, then that is their risk to take, not yours. stop acting as though Money Is The Devil. money allows people to put a roof over their heads and food on the table. i've always found it sort of ironic that ao3 keeps lamenting every year about their struggles re:staff turnover and lack of diversity when only very fortunate people with a lot of time on their hands can actually afford to dedicate hundreds of hours of their time to allow them to function. not everyone can afford to work/do art for free. and, sure, we can all agree capitalism is bad but also that is the world we live in. you want to change it? revolt. have a revolution. don't report people to a fucking website.

this is tied to my first point but when it comes to links on ao3 specifically, just because AO3 has been the best site so far, doesn't mean it cannot be questioned ever. for the record, i love ao3. i think it's a great website. it's a fantastic idea. but, after spending an evening looking through their public accounting (yeah, i'm ✨fun✨ like that), i have loads of questions about the hundreds of thousands of dollars they seem to be hoarding year on year and refusing to reinvest to "keep it safe". ao3 as a website are extremely risk-averse in their functioning. that is their ethos. and, it can be a good thing (i'm not denying that) but that can also be a bad thing. we should at least be allowed to publicly debate certain decisions without being called "traitors" who want to bring the website down. it's healthy to debate.

for the love of jesus, mary, joseph and all of the people of jerusalem, stop telling people that if they make money off fanfic they will get sued and die. first of all, the legality of the monetisation of fanfiction is a lot more complicated than tumblr discourse makes it out to be. i don't want to go into too much detail because i have a life but know that: just because you monetise, doesn't mean you will get sued (and lose). at the same time, just because you do not monetise doesn't mean you won't. since these people love quoting anne rice as an example, i will say this: the people who got cease and desist letters, as far as i know, were not monetising. that is because monetisation is one of four factors related to the fair use exception, not The Only One. this is me making an educated guess here but i suppose that when they refuse to monetise, ao3 is actually just protecting itself and its users (again, that ngo, risk-averse strategy). they are not only leveraging that in a potential fair use argument, they are also taking a gamble that the lack of monetisation will discourage lawsuits. this may come as a shock but very few sane people sue each other for no money. it is thus safer not to monetise fanfiction, but not safe. making people believe in that dichotomy is misleading.

building on the above, i think the misunderstanding here comes from the fact that ao3 has become so mainstream and has outdone itself so much that the use of it has superseded its primary purpose. ao3 sees itself as an archive first and foremost, not as a reading tool/content host. its purpose is the safekeeping of History, which is why it's so risk-averse. but, that might not be what we need anymore as a collective. i don't know. but the idea that AO3 is going to get sued and disappear immediately if people start profiting from fanfic is flimsy at best. ff.net runs ads and monetises, so do tumblr and wattpad. they're fine. yes, it is a more difficult position to defend, but not an impossible one. tumblr even lets you put your fanfiction behind a paywall if you want, and the money transits through them. sure, that means that their terms of service push the responsibility onto you to respect copyright laws and defend yourself if you get sued (it's obviously a very different business model) but it is a thing. the fear-mongering about the doomsday of ao3 if anyone at all sought to question their system is ridiculous.

which brings me to my next point: stop blaming this on gen z. who allegedly don't remember what it was like "before," when we all swam in a sea of cease and desist letters and fanfiction websites were collapsing left, right and centre. this is not the first time i make this point online but why are we, millennials, turning into our parents, questioning young people's capacity for intelligent reasoning? even if the above was a realistic picture of the 00s, it was twenty years ago. times have changed. fanfiction has become democratised. we do not know what would happen if people started earning money off fanfiction. we don't know that they would get sued. if they did get sued, we don't even know what would actually happen because very few fic-like cases have been litigated. so let's just step back and let people do what they want.

lastly, a lot of people seem to think that bringing money into fanfic (even the smallest amount) would ruin their enjoyment of it, and would ruin the whole medium altogether. i understand this, i feel it sometimes myself. but, that's sort of a me problem, isn't it? we are projecting our own issues about how we feel money would decrease our enjoyment of fanfic onto other people. but that's for them, not us, to decide. to each their own.

and, bonus point: this is HP specific but if you are one of those people who only buys merch off etsy creators because you don't want JKR to profit and then scream at fanfic creators for trying to monetise, you are making literally no logical sense.

which is all to say: the conversation about the monetisation of fanfiction is a fascinating one, and a very complicated and nuanced one. there is no black and white. i have doubts myself and i have been thinking about these things for a long time. i do still feel very uneasy about the idea of the exploitation of someone else's property by another without their consent. it's tough. but i think it's important to sometimes get off our high horses and see both sides of a story, and feed intelligent discourse, not fear-mongering.

#rantover, thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[formulatrash]

While we are loosely on the topic of IndyCar, I've been getting into other racing series and am planning to actively follow some more this year and the culture shock as a fan is real. I can actually ask questions about IndyCar and FE without getting some smart ass "DTS fan" response, coincidentally with them still being unable to answer my question themselves though. Generally people just stay in their lanes and focus on the teams/drivers they support instead of wasting so much time and energy on the teams/drivers they passionately hate. Death threats and harassment aren't normalized. Maybe the haters aren't the only ones who want to see my favs get "demoted" to IndyCar or FE because they're genuinely so much more chill to follow as a fan. With F1, you can do all the blocking and unfollowing not just on Tumblr, but on websites with a lot of grown 50+ year olds and still come across some of the most file shit you've ever encountered. I've met some great friends through F1 and as a STEM student, love the engineering aspect, but the 24/7, 365 fighting and drama amongst fans doesn't make it fun to follow, it gets old and annoying pretty quick.

in all honesty, it's that lack of exposure thing. people are excited to see other people getting into the smaller series we like cus there aren't very many of us, innit. gotta have people to blorbopost with. love to get the moots in on my nonsense.

(this was, in short version, how I ended up writing about Formula E for years)

the sheer scale of F1 fandom has always been one of its issues, like football fandom. there's no sort of curated community areas where everyone's decent to each other cus there's so many people involved. and there's lots of ways in which the media is responsible for that

I'm glad you mentioned the 50+ year olds cus honestly, it's always been this way. and particularly if you're from any of the demographics not assumed to be somehow naturally an authority on F1. I say 'any of the demographics' - you know exactly the one that gets the pass and then the rest of us can waste our lives proving we know anything and drive ourselves insane or just accept you have to love it in spite of it all.

ultimately, it's on F1 to actually call off the dogs in the sense you can absolutely start effective comms campaigns that address harassment and exclusion. you can breed healthy dialogue, you can put a less combative and rage-fuelled version of the sport out there. but what's happening right now is doing numbers for a series that - and remember this was as recently as 2018 - was absolutely on its knees.

shrinking, ageing viewership was impacting sponsorship while costs escalated, manufacturers all threatening to pull out, brands questioning the point of being involved, media coverage that was shrivelling up and dying, no social and digital presence to speak of, very little visibility outside specialist channels.

F1 has, by a combination of luck and a sort of 'try pressing every button at once and see if something works' managed to reverse those fortunes and now the influencers it didn't understand 5 years ago are clamouring to get in the paddock. that's a good thing! F1 desperately needs attention or else, like a Tumblr user, it will literally die because sponsors are only interested in paying for exposure and F1 needs such vast amounts of money.

so: I'd love F1 to have more fans. my friends who've suddenly got into or back into it the last few years rock. but with great capacity for sponsorship deals comes a huge hot mess of governance, calendar bloat and subterranean discourse.

although Extremely Online F1 Fandom is only a small slice of it all, regardless, which I kinda try to remember.

main thing is: enjoy things how you want to! engage with and boost content you like! block everyone annoying, life is too short.

(I genuinely wish more people would just block me when they find me annoying on Twitter or whatever rather than turn it into a strange obsession. think I'm an idiot? cool, block me. massively more peaceful for us all)

[peascheinthevoid]

A letter from him💌

Hello.

This is the last birthday of my twenties. I don't know whether it's because of the peculiarities of the profession I'm in, but birthdays are always accompanied by a slight feeling of embarrassment. For me, it’s just a day like any other but.. because so many people wish me so sincerely, I feel quite happy and fortunate.

I often think about how love is just a process of being named. Like Kim Namjoon becoming ‘Kim Namjoon’. Although this is only one day out of a numerous 365 days, my birthday doesn’t just pass by without notice, even for my 29-year-old self. This is all thanks to you.

I want to be someone who is as honest as possible, but in this relationship between fan and artist, existing somewhere between the tangible and intangible, just what can we go beyond and what can we become? Is everything acceptable under the generous phantom label of ‘love’? I continue to have so many experiences where disclosure becomes weakness and honesty leads to hurt, but I still don’t really know.

I’ve said in the past that as time goes on, it becomes harder to say things and that makes me sad. I think that continues to be true. But I do think I’m a lot more level-headed now. The sincere feelings I once used to worry I would never receive now pour onto me like heavy rain. As a result, I realised that I, who used to think that it was cool to be a pessimist and think that nothing matters, am actually quite an optimist by nature. Isn’t this a miracle? These days, I live by the words ‘why not’. This optimism can be explained as a product of the love I receive from the people around me, and I am spreading it around.

I am also putting it into the songs that will come out some day.

Right, could there be a more beautiful way for me to be honest than through music? Everyone already knows this, but sometimes I feel like music alone is not enough. I wonder if that’s the reason why I became part of BTS. To want to quench that thirst through multiple different means. Whether it’s through programs, interviews, dances or whatever it may be.. what a blessed life this is. And these things always make me want to look clearly at where I've come and think deeply about the place I'm in.

They say if coincidences overlap, it must be inevitable. Coincidences are also fate in disguise. I think this letter I’m writing to you right now feels like that - like it would have been written in September of 2023, no matter what version of myself I might have been then. The birthday letters that I write each year are all places that I have arrived at in that moment, and are each a different language of love. Thanks to all of you, I’m living a really good life. I want to live a good life. All I have wanted each time is to just tell you I love you as the latest best version of myself. It's probably impossible for me to hug each and every one of you, but the feelings I have go beyond that. I won't ask you to love me in all of my different forms. However, since you do give me your love, I promise to do my best.

And so the last birthday of my twenties also smoothly sails by. No matter what skies you’re under, let’s please try to be healthy and be happy for a long time. Let’s meet again soon, after some time has passed.

I sincerely wish you a happy birthday as well, though it may be a bit late, or perhaps slightly in advance.

Thank you.

-Namjoon [230912]

[violettierre]

If you're my mutual or we've interacted before please read this,

So to save your time im going on a hiatus.

And here's some elaboration;

Tumblr have never failed to put a smile on my face it's a fun website to visit and i've always enjoyed the content made here, and most of all, enjoyed interacting with poeple that have always been very kind and sweet and some even consider me a friend which is a far bigger deal to me than one may think because of personal reasons and i really mean it when i say Tumblr never fail to make my day with those silly posts and inside jokes that may mean nothing, overall, it's my go-to place to relax from my noisy life and be my questionable silly little inner violetta that im thankful no one really judged, and it was a breath of fresh air when i signed in here. I've treated my account, like most poeple, as my account where i talked about stuff i enjoyed and my opinions in things, ect... but if you are my mutual i feel like you did notice sometimes i slip and im no longer enjoying my inner self like i usually do, which is common. It does happen to lots of poeple where real life issues just hit too hard for them to enjoy their distractions they used as coping mechanism to keep themselves sane just like i do that's why no one really judges that from what i concluded in my experience. However, as many times as everyone thankfully ignore that, those moments still bother me every time cuz it's never been about other users noticing, it's never been anything outside of personal. Like i said before, this is my prefered go-to comfort space that i open to rest from real life issues and the effects it had on me, and the interference that accure between them never fail to make my health worse, and so i don't go to details, this place simply start to lose its charm for me because it began losing the one thing i personally associated it with. Which is why as far as i believe, it'll be better to take a pause from being active here. Because sometimes the stuff that help us get through things that hurts, shouldn't be exposed to it, and the less harmful option is to hide it so we can go back to it when we're desperate for comfort instead of losing it completely.

Naturally, I have no idea how long i'll be on a hiatus for, it may take months, or maybe a year, who knows, even if i wish for it to be sooner than later, it's something that happen undecided, but it may most likely last at least until my personal crisis calms down and im a little more stable and ready to use once again that one violet that i admit i've mistreated as well, because in order to stop my stress and mental health from sneaking into my safe space i must face it and deal with it, which im really scared of, but that's pretty much what is left to do. Things that go our way aren't necessarily our ideal solutions.

It's a silly little hiatus for most poeple, but behind it, im going to a metaphorical war and im scared that's why im writing this long useless elaboration post before getting a pause from all my social media not just tumblr and try to look after myself in a way i've been running away from.

And if you're reading this as my moot or we've interacted, i do hope you understand this and mostly hope that everything will stay good between us once i come back sooner or later, it's already gonna be awkward for me to do anything i like again after im basically right now going to ditch my self care, so i just want you to keep in mind i do not want to lose you or anyone in here and we could remain in good terms.

And happy new year from now, since i won't be able to celebrate it here. I wish everyone on tumblr a healthy and lucky new year lifestyle starting or continuing from 2023 and fortune will follow everyone everywhere. And merry Christmas to all who celebrate, and whatever other holiday i won't celebrate in here, im sending all my love throughout those times and all time, thanks to everyone for everything and hopefully i get to interact with you guys later on.

With all my geniune love, Violetta.

[f1writingbyme]

Hi Ilse,

I've just read your post about your personal life. I feel really sorry to hear that. As a single young woman, I've never experienced anything like what you've written down in that post, so I don't think I can provide you with any help or suggestions. BUT I do wish to offer some support by tell you the story of my godmother, who have been though a similar journey as you, and hope you might feel supportive and gain some strength from this story.

My godmother is my mom's bestie. She treated me almost like her own child, I do receive a lot of love from her. While watching me grow up, she was always trying to get pregnant and have her own baby. She have been through various medical treatments and medications, nearly trying all the methods they can. She has experienced a surge in weight due to taking hormone medication and experienced depression due to the unsuccessful artificial insemination. Once I heard she cried to my mom saying that it was all too difficult, she can't go through it, that she may just raise her sister's child as her own.

I can't imagine how many of these painful and distress moments she had been through. What I only knows is that she never gives up. Fortunately, she do get pregnant at the end, and have a healthy baby.

I am writing this simply because I wish to let you know that you are not the only one in the world who are struggling with this problem. I want you to know that you are not alone. It takes my godmother almost 20 years to finally have her own baby (yes, I was born in 2001, and my godmother as the same age as my mom, her baby was born in 2021). This path you choose will never be an easy one, therefore I hope for all the best for you, hope there are many people support you and love you through this journey, hope you to be healthy and happy. And finally, wishing you could have a good result as same as my godmother.

Please remember that you are never alone, ask for help or for whatever you feel you need, ask it to your partner, your family, or your friends, there will always be people supporting you. Your feelings always matter the most. There is a Chinese proverb saying that people who love to laugh will definitely have good fortune. So stay optimistic, stay happy, and good things will happen.

I hope all the best for you.❤❤❤

Sylvia

Dear Sylvia,

Thank you so much for sharing the story of your godmother. I can find myself in the words and how she must have felt and all the things she went through.

I know how difficult it is with the treatments, the hormone medicine and all the side effects that come with it. My body has changed so much, it's ridiculous, and that truly adds to the awful feeling I've had about all of this. I can count myself lucky that my boyfriend keeps telling me he thinks I'm beautiful no matter what and that he loves me, but being a single woman trying to conceive, it must be so damn difficult.

I don't know your godmother, but I am so proud of her, and I am so happy to hear that she eventually had her dream of having a baby come true. I'm inspired by her that she managed to keep going for twenty years - that is insane and she is so, so strong.

Again, thank you so sharing this story. It helps me a lot and I hope it'll help other people too who are going through the same, but don't want to publicly talk about it.

Love you ❤