#wishing anyone reading this peace this holiday season

[lasersheith]

So I haven't done a "family holiday" with my parents/brothers/their fams since 2017 I think, maybe 2018 and it used to really really bum me out like oh man this is so sad my parents don't accept me my brother's don't stand up for me I'm all alone etc etc sad boy times

But the last few years I've been doing holidays with my husband's (much smaller) family and it's been so peaceful and nice. I keep seeing people freaking out about how much it's going to suck spending all week with people they hate and I'm just over here chilling. I'm gonna hang out with my husband and his cousins and it's gonna be really fun and no one is going to say any slurs near or at me and I don't miss any of them even a little bit.

If anyone is looking for a sign to just not fucking deal with those bitches this year, here it is! You are allowed to lie and say you're sick or broke your leg or won a ski trip on a radio show or just text the group chat a middle finger and block all of them.

[astrologylunadream]

What They Want for Christmas?💌🎀🎄 (Pick a card/Tarot love reading)

♪All I want for christmas is you~💕

Hey it's Lunadream💓 Christmas is here~ so it's a must to see what that person on your mind has on their list!🗒💫 hope you find your message🍨

Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)

Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🤍

Pile 1☃️

Pile 2🌸

Pile 3🐈

Pile 4🦢

Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡

On to the readings —> ☁️🎄🌸

Pile 1☃️

Sign energy: Decay, Venus, Deep, Adventure, Outfit, North node, 2nd house, Virgo, Saturn, Capricorn, 🛑🟨👄👉

🎄Your person's energy: Ah so you're person has very sweet yet defined features, also feminine aura about them💓 They may have Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, or Aquarius placements in their chart. Your person is so soft and cute but also really attractive physically, their lips draw you in so deep omg they have really nice lips😳💞 There may be a significant age gap for some of my pile 1's but your person can simply seem mature for their age like responsible and well behaved. I'm getting the feeling your person doesn't let themselves have fun that often, they try to limit crazy or wild experiences to prevent the risk of huge problems in their life. Ohh but your person has such an effortless sensual beauty about them, I feel like their jaw/neck is one of their key features. They are so pretty to you I'm hearing🥺💗 They dress really nice like sensibly and classy, omg they just look so well put together in everything they wear!😫 This may be someone you are unable to love in some way, like something is stopping you from feeling their love. Yellow may look good on your person, the color could be significant. They have a hot voice haha, like do you just stare at their lips when they speak??😂💋 Their touch is so irresistible to my pile 1's like the way they touch you would probably feel really pleasing.🥴 You guys are really far into loving this person, like these feelings for them have run deep even until the end of the year🎄💗 You low key want to kiss this person I'm hearing aww ^v^ My pile 1's have such a soft and adorable love for this person like how could they ignore that??

🎀What they want for christmas: Absence, Center, Face, Spiral, 2nd house, Fire, 3rd house, 4th house, Lilith, Sun,😋🧨♉❌ Ohh okay there's definitely something your person wants to rid of this season oml like that is their christmas present, now I'm called to say it's people bothering them that they wish would just leave them be for now😞 This could be family or just anyone around them that is causing problems for them during this time. They want to have peace and quiet away from any gossip or fake smiles and be able to enjoy the finer things, they also want to be comfortable and home for christmas. They don't wanna be the center of attention right now, like literally all they want is some time to themselves to enjoy the holidays!!😫 Ugh I feel so bad for them like seriously my pile 1's your person is so done with people invading their personal space and taking up their time. All they want for christmas is to take a break from all the drama and go slow with things, sit back and relax while listening to christmas tunes.🎄🎷💕 They want to go off the radar and enjoy a christmas in solitude only with those closest to them they trust. They may also wish to spend less money this year, and spend the holidays simpler. For some of my pile 1's this person wishes to run away with you for christmas, that is one gift they desire is to go far away to a desolate yet beautiful winter wonderland and take you with them.🥺❄☃️ This year they may feel less of a need for anything under their tree, ohh but one thing is that they sort of want is to have you in their possesion for christmas, like their special little gift to unwrap😳 But overall they just to have a pleasant cozy time enjoying christmas in peace.💭🎀❄

💌Messages from your person: This is all my fault, It's too early, I'm loyal to you, Just dance with me to holiday tunes, I only listen to you, Do you think I'm hot? I want to spend time with you this christmas, Listen up (Haha your person has a lot to say omg🥰) Extra cards: Nice, Pluto, Princess, Wild, Feminine

Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❄💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the snowing snowman emoji~☃️ Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗

Pile 2🌸

Sign energy: Seduction, Gap, Pretty, Search, Mindfulness, 2nd house, Mars, Juno, Eros, Mercury, 🤯😴👗🏚

🎄Your person's energy: We have a very attractive person for my pile 2's!! I feel like you guys have a noticeable height difference. (so cute >w<) Taurus, Aries, Scorpio, Gemini and Virgo are posible placements, may have mercury or mars in 2nd house. Haha your person is searching for the one💍 They are very serious about committing and finding their life partner I mean they are so passionate about finding their future spouse omg💞 They know how to reel others in romantically with their voice and way of flirting, this is someone they are very good at🤭🌹 They can turn anyone on pretty easily I'm hearing, because they're super smooth and witty. Now your person definitely has good looks, you find them pretty and hot at the same time like "which one??"😰 Lol it's both. Somewhere in your mind you are low key curious what they look like in a dress😏 (no matter gender haha) Ah my pile 2's your person is really desirable and attractive!! You may feel they are the one for you, and you might know their flirting tricks all too well. They blow you away nonetheless with their stunning natural beauty and charms, aw and I bet their voice could put you to sleep like it's so soft and soothing to you.😭💗 Their voice turns you on too, and the things they say... they definitely seduce you well. You want to dress up for this person, and you think of them often. They are maybe even sweeter than cake to you, that is how they make you feel my pile 2's! <3

🎀What they want for christmas: Practice, Store, Control freak, Vent, Disturbance, Venus, Scorpio, Air, 1st house, Eros,💪🧡🎢😩 Wow okay this is alot. So your person is definitely obsessing over something for christmas, like it has to happen or else!!🤯 Now I'm getting not so much as getting gifts for themselves, but they want to buy gifts for others. Lol they also wish they could buy love for christmas I'm hearing🥺💓 Omg pile 2 I think they want you for christmas, like they want to have you all to themselves!!😫🙏 Loving you may be their christmas wish, and getting to unwrap you too🥵 They have a lot of crazy fantasies for christmas of my pile 2's but I will try to keep it shallow as possible. Your body is their most desired gift, let's just say that. And they wish they could have a lot of fun with their christmas toy🫣🧤♨️ I mean endless control and play time. That is ALL I will be saying for that I'm sorry maybe take it over to one of my spicy readings lol anyways as the song goes, all they want for christmas is you like wow.🥺 They want lots of pleasures for christmas, and a lot of indulging. Splurging on shopping and taking photos for christmas, I feel like they wanna buy a lot of stuff they find pretty😂 Buying you christmas gifts may be something they wish to do someday, they want to give you so much for the holidays. They want to please you because it gives them a sense of fulfillment too. Taking you to stores and buying you whatever you want, that is on their christmas list😖🗒💞

💌Messages from your person: We would be perfect together, I want to protect you, Don't hold back, Think of me, I get lost in your eyes, I know exactly how you like it, Do as I say, Don't give me the silent treatment (Omg😳🤭) Extra cards: Routine, January, Slow, Social media, Optimist

Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❄💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the pink flower emoji~🌸 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗

Pile 3🐈

Sign energy: Apology, Hard, Bottom, First impression, Moon, Sun, Aquarius, 8th house, Cancer, Jupiter, 🔍🟧🧚‍♀️🍎

🎄Your person's energy: This is a very emotional person on pile 3's mind, bright and angelic. Possible placements are Cancer, Leo, Aquarius, Scorpio, Sagittarius and Pisces. I feel like you are heavily looking into this person for whatever reason, seeking out all the possibilities. You probably learn more about them way easier than math.🤣 The color orange may be significant or you've been seeing it lately. You have been keeping an eye on this person especially through online sources, trying to discover what they're all about🧐💭 They may have peaked your interest at first because you found them physically *ahem* attractive♨️ and now you've been trying to look deeper beyond their pretty face and know get to know them well. They may have done something they regret in the past, causing them to feel bad or upset with themselves. They really do have an ethereal beauty to them, like an elf or fairy. You want to know a lot about this person, to know them so well it's almost scary.😨 Because they interest you so much, and you like being curious. Some of you know this person through online so you look at their photos with wonder of who they really are behind it all, you wanna get to the bottom of it. I feel like you guys like having something to obsess over and hey it keeps things interesting for some of you so that is why you are so involved with your person.💗✔ I'm getting some detective vibes from you guys, trying to discover your person <3

🎀What they want for christmas: Meant to be, Captive, Regret, Locked, Cold, Moon, 6th house, Uranus, Venus, Eros, 🎭🧬🍁🦉 Aww so for some of you, this person really wants to be with their mother for christmas.🥺💞💞 How sweet. For some of my pile 3's this person may have family or relatives in canada. They may feel tired and trapped in their routine/job and wanna take time off from their obligations to attend family gatherings and reunions.🥂💫 There is a very specific gift they long for this christmas, they are fixated on receiving love.💏🎄 They are wishing on a star to feel the warm feeling and sweetness that comes from a lover during the holidays. They may regret spending too much time online or through their phone instead of focusing on the love they long for. Your person is definitely dreaming of a white christmas, they want it to be cold and snowing so they can bundle up in the comfort of a blanket with their loved ones.🏠🧣💞 They also imagine the best gift of all would be holding their lover tight to shield them from the cold, and keep them safe and warm in their arms.❤ Having a steamy night with them is also on their list😳 Haha your person really wants a romantic time for the holidays, but they are actually really overthinking about what to get for christmas. Also thinking of what to gift to coworkers or friends, that is a lot of what's weighing on their mind right now. They want all sorts of events and romance for the holidays omg my pile 3's your person really wants to be loved for christmas💓

💌Messages from your person: You'll never forget me, Just listen to me, They're just jealous, I'm in trouble, I should be, You're my problem, Why would you want me? You're the only one for me this christmas (Ahh😆💗) Extra cards: Pretend, Softie, Admiration, Details, Offer

Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❄💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the cat emoji~🐈 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗

Pile 4🦢

Sign energy: Learning, Head, Model, Waist, Bones, 5th house, 3rd house, 10th house, Uranus, Pluto, 🌸🎬🤞👸

🎄Your person's energy: Such lovely vibes for my pile 4's person, powerful magnetic aura too. Leo, Gemini, Capricorn, Aquarius and Scorpio placements are significant, Pluto in 3rd house, Uranus in 5th placements. Your person has really good bone structure I'm hearing, may have model like features especially jawline or bones. Their waistline is highly attractive to you, they have an effortless charm to them.💗 I feel like a lot of people obsessively think of your person, and say possesive things like "they're mine" or "I own you" like everyone wants a piece of them omg🙄 They have a movie star look to them, they just look like the face of a movie. Very unique and creative too, their hairstyle or color is eye catching in some way. I am getting very successful vibes from your person, like they are on the right track✔ Their mind is very deep and magnetic, like they have a hot mind lol. (probably a dark one too😳) The same flower emoji came out that represented pile 2 so for those who felt drawn to that pile maybe check that too. Your person has such a cool vibe to them, untouchable and gorgeous. I feel like they roll their eyes at the invasive comments others make about them, they don't let the little people bother them. They know what they're worth, I feel like this person makes a lot of money😩💲💰 They walk like it's nobody's business omg model walk, and that intense stare ahh my pile 4's your person is killing it😍

🎀What they want for christmas: Romance, Masculine, Chemistry, Short-term, Harm, Virgo, Moon, Aries, Sagittarius, Eros, ♨️🎫🤨🧯 Omg I was not expecting this but your person wants to get on the naughty list apparently.😰👿 We won't be going into details here but wow, just wow. All I will say is that your person wants a usable gift for sure, something they can have their fun with and meet their needs.😭 Unleash their worst side, they want a lot of chemistry. Your person wants to redeem their prize with someone, it is possible this is my pile 4's. Tbh what they really want is a short-term wild night as their christmas present, to let loose from their job/routine and let out all their aggressions on someone🫣 They may simply wish to yell at someone to release all their built up stress from everything they've dealt with this year.💢 Omg they just want to go off on those people who annoy them lmao that would literally be the best christmas present to them.😂🎁 But yeah they have a lot of naughty things on their list, definitely physical fantasies I won't go into but yeah. They want a hot and passionate time with someone, to take away their worries and let out their wild side.🤯 Maybe they feel like showing you for your christmas present, and since they could really feel like dominating someone it could be their hope to satisfy your fantasies of them.💓

💌Messages from your person: The pain will go away, We will be together, Let's listen to christmas music together, I always fantasize about you, Don't just stand there, No, I believe in you, You should smile more. (How cute🤭💫) Extra cards: Compulsive, First love, One of a kind, Despair, Sight

Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!❄💌

I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the swan emoji~🦢 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💗

Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸

Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hey Raven! Hope you're doing well, and I hope you had a great holiday, if you celebrate, that is.

I hate to clutter your ask box with something like this, and you don’t have to answer, you can just read this with an open mind, but I feel you're the only one I could go to with this without being straight-up attacked. It's also why I'm asking anonymously.

But, what's your stance on the whole war between the JP and EN versions of the game? I'm not asking you to pick a side or anything, I just wanna know your thoughts.

Obviously, I'm an EN player, and idk if you seen, but there's some hateful things out there about us, and honestly, it's hurtful and disheartening to every time I get up here. And it's always on this we as players can't control. Mainly the dialog translations and it's changes.

I've seen people calling us dumb and weak, saying we water down everything because we can't take it, etc. I've seen people saying we don't know how to really correctly and analyze characters and that we're not even playing the same game. They say we've ruined the game, the fandom, and that they wished it was never localized. I've also seen quite horrible things, but I don’t wanna repeat the things said, but yeah.

And the kicker is, it's only the JP side I've seen post this stuff. I've seen more hate come from that side more than anything, and of course not all, like you. You're my fave btw.

So yeah, thoughts?

Hello, hello! ^^ I’m not really a super big celebration person but I’m hunkering down for a cozy hibernation this winter ❄️ I hope everyone had/will have a good 2023 holiday season~

Before I provide my response to the question posed in this ask, I want to make sure we're all on the same page for this discussion first:

Please be advised that my perspective is coming from that of someone who started off playing JP in March 2020 and then picked up EN when it came out in January 2022. I have played on both servers since their initial launches.

When I refer to TWST JP and EN fans in this post, I am only referring to the English speaking fans (as in, English speaking fans who play JP and English speaking fans who play EN).

For the sake of simplicity, I will be disregarding “hybrid” fans (English speaking fans who play both JP and EN) as a separate category and will lump them in with “JP” fans (English speaking fans who play JP). This is because I assume most mixed fans started off with JP and then adopted EN later on.

I am not talking about ALL English-speaking JP and/or EN fans here; I am only talking about the ones Anon described in their ask.

As the Anon said, I ask that you go into this post with an open mind; do not assume that I will bash JP and/or EN, take sides, defend or condone toxic attitudes, or that this post exists just to “stir the pot”. That is not the purpose of my response. The purpose is to have a meaningful and constructive discussion about TWST’s fandom culture, particularly as it pertains to English-speaking fans. I hope that in talking about this, we can better understand “the other side” (however you may personally define that) and work toward making the fandom space more welcoming for all.

Please read the entire post and think about your own choice of words before commenting and/or sending in an ask about this topic, should you choose to.

To the Anon that submitted this ask and to anyone else that plays EN and may have had similar thoughts: I’m sorry to hear about the negative experiences you’ve had in the TWST fandom. I hope that this post brings you some peace of mind, if not at least some catharsis for what you may be feeling.

Firstly, it’s important to understand the mindset of both JP and EN fans. As such, I will delve into the background and the development of each side. It is NOT meant to justify either side, but rather to inform you on how each perspective originated and grew to what it is today.

The animosity and opposition to an official English version of TWST has been present for a while. An English version of TWST has always been contentious, even long before the localization was announced. Some wanted it to happen for accessibility reasons (as some people find it tedious to hunt for translations) or were supportive of the idea because it means a larger fanbase and thus more potential to make friends or to discuss the game. Others were more apprehensive of the quality of a localization (as much tends to be cut or censored to make the content more palatable) and/or claimed that expanding the fanbase in such a way would bring in more “bad apples”.

When EN first came out, it did, in fact, expand the fanbase. However, many were quick to notice the many (and I do mean many) errors and short sightings present in it: frequent spelling and grammar mistakes in the game and on official social media posts, inconsistent phrasing, incorrect translations, game-breaking glitches, frequent censorship, half-hearted promotions, etc. EN also became infamous for its absolutely brutal pacing of content in the early days, particularly related to the limited story event schedules (including back-to-back Halloween events). This, in combination with EN’s constant pushing of paid gems (which occurs far more frequently than in the JP server) has left a bad taste in JP fans’ mouths. To them, TWST EN did not make a good first impression and continued to misstep again and again. This is especially true of the many dialogue changes to make the TWST localization more “culturally appropriate” (which is the definition of what a localization is; there is a reason why TWST is not called a translation, which would be a more accurate/“faithful” or direct translation of the dialogue).

The claim that “EN fans are weak/can’t handle the real story” likely arises from how EN has removed or altered details which may offend western audiences. This includes things like the term “master”, the mention of Azul’s weight, Kalim’s “30-40” siblings, etc. These are conscious decisions made on the part of the game localizers to make TWST more broadly appealing and appropriate for a western audience, where such topics are contentious or considered taboo. This is adapting TWST to a new culture so that it can (in a dry business sense) perform well. However, I also want to mention that some cultural changes EN made do significantly alter the story/characters (such as Jamil no longer stating his family will be on the streets if they defy the Asims; in EN he only says his parents will be mad at him), particularly if you are viewing through an EN-only lens. Unfortunately 😔 as much as I can point the nuances of localization out, there will always be fans who still oppose any sort of censorship. This is also true of the anime and manga community in general, and this post isn’t large enough in scope to tackle those issues. I only mention this here to help you, the reader, better understand the changes from Disney/Aniplex.

A lot of the original negative feelings that were there before EN was announced were then confirmed by the official release, and this strengthened the dislike of EN on the part of JP fans. These JP fans may then become hostile toward EN fans who defend the localization (whether or not they have the context of TWST JP) because, in the eyes of the JP fans, the localization is not as good as it could be. Ultimately, it seems like their intense feelings stem from passion for what they love and not wishing to see it “desecrated” rather than an actual hatred of fellow fans. JP fans are upset because they fear EN fans are not getting the full scope of the characters and a story they enjoy, and they want others to appreciate those aspects of TWST as well.

Of course 💦 the fact is that EN fans are not responsible for the localization. But EN is there and that is what is the easiest and the most time efficient for English-speaking audiences, so most people will go with that rather than alternatives (ie hunting down fan translations). The issue is that some JP fans conflate simply consuming the localization as being bad or the “wrong” thing to do, and thus, by proxy, extend this frustration to EN fans themselves (especially those those are EN only and have zero prior knowledge of JP) and not just the product. Again, this is because they tend to see JP as the “full” version, without the changes or censorship present in EN. This inevitably leads to discrepancies in understanding between JP and EN, whether due to staggered release of new content or how the characters are presented differently between the two servers. To those who say “the versions are basically the same except for minor changes”, I disagree. There are several dialogue changes that appear small in isolation, but because TWST’s narrative is told primarily via dialogue, those “small” changes are actually very large and can drastically modify how one perceives a character or situation without explicit knowledge of JP to balance it out. When Jamil is made an “employee” rather than a “servant” and worries about his parents being mad at him instead of his entire family literally being on the streets for defying the Asims, it takes away the bite from his motivations. When Cater inserts a #WOW that wasn’t there in JP while Riddle is breaking down sobbing, or makes him come off as far more insensitive than emotionally aware. These are just a few examples, but they are very prominent ones that can change how an EN only fan sees things. The idea that “we aren’t even playing the same game” can ring true to some JP players because of this.

It cannot be helped that EN fans would interpret the characters and stories differently when the localization is their only or primary source of TWST content. Not everyone has the time or the desire to look for more accurate fan translations (not all fan translations are the same quality), as some JP fans have suggested. If EN fans want to, that’s great! It’s nice to expand one’s knowledge and to be cognizant of the changes between the versions. There are many blogs out there dedicated to educating people on these matters, and many EN and JP fans alike flocking there to be informed. But that level of engagement shouldn’t be demanded of anyone. To deem those that don’t engage in “further research” as “lazy”, “dumb”, or a “fake fan” is not acceptable, not in the name of love or otherwise. The expectation to “do homework” only puts pressure on EN fans to be a certain way or else be rejected by the fandom, and that only breeds more hatred and negativity. It makes EN fans feel “not worthy” of being a fan unless they study up, when the truth of the matter is that no matter how much we like TWST, it’s… media at the end of the day. People are free to consume their choice of media however they like, and that includes casually or at their own pace. It’s not fun to be in a fandom where others are breathing down your neck and policing everything you do, especially since these spaces are meant to be a temporary escape from reality. If JP fans meant to gatekeep in an effort to make others recognize the “real” greatness of TWST, then it’s failing because this kind of attitude only serves to drive new fans away.

Among EN fans, there is this idea that “JP fans are stuck-up”. I can understand where this thinking comes from, as I have witnessed hatred for EN myself which comes unprompted and has killed many conversations. Admittedly, some points are geared toward the company themselves (and those are valid), such as rushed and/or inaccurate translations or the pushing of paid gems, but I’ve also seen my fair share of nastier, invalid comments directed at EN fans. There are JP fans who actively hope that EN will shut down or who outright dismiss EN fans because of the version they play, thinking of their thoughts and opinions as “lesser” or doubting their media literacy skills. It’s true that this behavior is out there in the fandom, and that is unfortunately a sad reality.

That being said, JP on EN hate is not the only form I see, and nor is it the majority. It goes both ways (and I would say about equally for all, although this is just based on anecdotes and not objective data). There is plenty of JP on JP hate (particularly when someone spreads mistranslations around as though it were the truth) and EN on EN hate (arguments over what is and is not appropriate to ship, differences in headcanons, harassing fans that fall outside an “acceptable” age range, etc). There is also EN on JP hate which feeds into a dangerous back-and-forth with JP on EN hate. I briefly mentioned before that EN fans tend to believe JP fans are elitist, and this leads to assumptions being made about anyone that critiques EN and sometimes lashing out about it. I myself have previously been accused of “hating” EN because I often make posts commenting on the changes made between EN and JP (which ones I think work and which I think don’t). This preemptively defensive behavior drives another wedge between JP and EN fans, making JP fans reluctant to engage with EN fans, which then fuels the belief that JP fans think they’re “better” than EN fans (when really, some JP fans may be intentionally distancing themselves for their own wellbeing). Additionally, a lot of behavior deemed more acceptable in western oriented fandom spaces (such as moral justifications, taking pictures without crediting, callouts of other fans, and incorrect use of fandom tags) are not so for JP spaces (or those familiar with JP spaces). There have also been times when EN fans harass the actual Japanese-speaking side of the fandom (be it Japanese fans or the devs themselves) and demand (not ask, but demand) content that caters to them or free translations of fan comics they make. When EN fans fail to observe such “basic fandom etiquette”, it leads to JP fans thinking them rude or entitled, which makes JP fans reluctant to interact with EN fans and, again, feeds into confirmation bias. It’s a viscous system.

What is “ruining” the fandom is not just one side. There has always been turmoil present in fandom spaces. It just appears more visible now that TWST’s popularity has grown to this scale. Right now, both sides (JP and EN) are antagonizing each other because of a loud minority that’s attacking the other side. That minority then gets extrapolated and assumed to be behavior of the entirety of the other side, and that is what keeps the hate going.

If I’m being entirely honest 😔 I don’t think these tensions will realistically ever die out; the fandom is too large to “stomp out” what has already been established in its culture. When both sides are fueled by something so strong—a passion for TWST—it’s hard to seek out and/or to consider alternative perspectives. We become fixated on their own negative experiences and fail to think about where the “others” maybe be coming from, and then close ourselves off from discussion. That promotes isolation and contempt rather than friendliness and cooperation.

If we want change, then it starts at an individual level and in smaller TWST communities. We shouldn’t assume the worst of “JP” or “EN” fans; we are all TWST fans. Let’s keep open-minded and welcome other fans and their diverse schools of thought. And if you don’t feel comfortable with that, that’s also fine! You’re allow to keep a distance and curate your online space as you like; just please don’t go out of your way to disparage others, you have your own lane and others have theirs. Don’t encroach on other lanes.

Maybe we don’t necessarily agree with each other or we think may hold different opinions—but that’s good, isn’t it? The freedom of thought and the open exchange of ideas promotes flexible thinking and can lead you to see things from a new angle, or perhaps develop a new idea of your own. If we all thought the same way, then life becomes boring or it can cultivate an “us versus them” narrative that sparks online wars.

Let me put it this way to close off the post: isn’t this the message that Twisted Wonderland itself is trying to teach us? The true value of attending Night Raven College isn’t just about receiving a good education. Countless times it has been stressed to us (and often by Lilia, the oldest and wisest of the core cast, someone who used to be resistant to opening up to outsiders) that it is vital to understand other people in spite of how different we may be. Let’s take a page out of the students’ book and try to live up to that ^^

[sotwk]

Holiday updates!

Unfortunately, it looks like I wouldn't be able to deliver on my Yuletide in the Elvenking's Realm this Christmas season, as I had planned. Although I have been having a very merry (albeit hectic) holiday season offline with my family, my Tumblr experience since Thanksgiving has been rather bah-humbug.

I'm not sure why; my Moots are being lovely as usual, but overall the vibes are off. Perhaps it is a *me* issue. I feel oddly out-of-place and even rejected because I noticed a weird, sudden drop in my follower count (by like 10+)--which is possibly a site glitch, but it's disconcerting nonetheless. I know Follower count doesn't matter here, but you cannot truly care about your Followers as individuals without tracking how many there are, could you? And I do happen to care about each person that chooses to follow me; I'm not cool enough to pretend not to notice.

Anywayyyyy... on top of that humbug-ness, I have been experiencing crippling writer's block for weeks. It's not even that I cannot seem to write; I actually am hating my writing right now! And when I try to read my talented friends' fics for inspiration, I just feel more disappointed in my own (perceived) lack of skill. This is a normal feeling for a writer that happens to everyone occasionally, but it's pretty bad. If this type of writer burnout is allowed to fester, it's what often leads writers to quit. So I'm trying to be careful and gentle with myself and not push too hard.

I don't want to work on any of my precious WIPS when I'm in this kind of mood; the sourness would seep into my writing! Especially my Yuletide series, which is supposed to be filled with joy and hope! So alas, that would just have to wait another year.

But now for some positive news! My dear husband has bought me a new laptop for Christmas! He's a stickler for rules and tradition, so I can't open it until Christmas Day, but once I set it up, my sister can give me her gift--the Scrivener software!

I've decided to spend the rest of December taking it easy by not pushing myself to produce anything; instead I will just try to set myself up for a strong start to 2025 when I come back from my post-Christmas vacation (going on a road trip to see family). The new laptop and software should give me a little boost! :) And I gotta go learn how to use Scrivener now--lol!

I hope everyone reading this is having as good a Christmas season as possible. <3 This is the time of year when I truly wish everyone can experience joy and peace, whatever or however you celebrate. If there is anything at all that I can do to help you be merry, my Ask Box and DMs remain open. Please know that you are very loved.

One the flipside, if anyone would like to send some Christmas joy my way, please sign my Christmas tree (I saw some Mutuals doing this!) and/OR give my Yuletide series a try! Every little bit of cheer helps!

Yuletide in the Elvenking's Realm Series (Tumblr link)

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Family matters; Peter Quill x teen reader

*Author's note*

Well this request had been sitting in my inbox for awhile and I hope the anon who requested it is out there somewhere in the deep space of tumblr because I finally came around to writing it. It took some time due to life, work and moving houses during the holiday season but finally I was able to sit down and write this oneshot.

So as with any marvel oneshot there are some warnings of swearing, violence, and alluding to SA and r*pe but not on reader but a side character. So if the last warning triggers anyone just know it's not physically named but it is mentioned so I wont be butthurt of you wish to leave the story and not continue reading. Other than that I hope you all enjoy my darlings :)

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queen-paladin

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

@queensdivas

@austynparksandpizza

_____________________________________________________________

“How is it that everytime I come up with a plan we always get what we want? But whenever it’s you who comes up with the plan, we get captured?!” Rocket exclaimed as he dangled upside down along with Peter.

“I already told you it was a face off!” argued Peter.

“And we’ve told you that a face off is a trap if you’re facing off against a stronger opponent!” Nebula snarled.

“It was a pretty convincing plan at first but now I agree with Rocket and Nebula, Peter.” Mantis said.

“You are a dumbass, Quill.” Said Drax.

The Guardians of the Galaxy had decided to help aid Thor in the case of the slaughtering of Gods.  Shortly after they had parted, they came across the Aztec God temples but were soon ambushed by the Knights of Huitzilopochtli.  Thinking he could go against the Aztec God of War, Peter decided to meet with the God himself in what he liked to call a ‘face off’, however Huitzilopochtli had no interest in making any sort of bargain or peace treaty, instead he now had Rocket and Peter dangling over a lava pit while Nebula, Mantis and Drax were bound in chains by their wrists and ankles on top of stone tables.

He would first sacrifice Rocket and Peter to lava pit, but not before cutting out their hearts and feeding them to his prized jaguars.

“Quill, if we get out of this alive I swear I’ll rip your face off!” Rocket snapped as he wriggled in the chains.

“Yeah, yeah and even if we die you’ll still rip my face off. Just-just—let me think.” Huitzilopochtli’s servants soon brought up three large cages that each contained a jaguar pacing aggressively in their cages.  Hungry for blood.

“Let the ritual begin!” Huitzilopochtli proclaimed.  The drums began pounding as the chanters did their ritual chant.  Soon the Jaguar Knight came forward with a five inch steel dagger in his hands.  Suddenly a metal wire shot out and knocked the dagger out of the jaguar knight’s hands.  He let out a jaguar-like hiss as he looked up only to be kicked in the face by a young woman in pure black and grey metal suit that fit her like a glove.  A metal knife suddenly extended out from the wrist gauntlets and she cut both Rocket and Peter free from their chains.

“Come with me if you want to live.” The mechanical voice from her helmet said.  It was all a blur to the Guardians, the rescue happened to fast they hardly knew that they were escaping.  Metal and rock had flew across the air and soon the jaguars had been released and were attacking anyone close by, devouring their flesh and feasting on their hearts.

When the Guardians finally got back to their ship and took off Mantis turned to the young woman and thanked her.

“We are grateful for your help in rescuing us.” The young woman touched the side of her helmet and it let out a hiss as it unhooked itself from it’s hinges and she removed her helmet to reveal a young teenage girl with what appeared to be a cybernetic gears infused around her left eye and across her forehead (almost like a circlet).

“No problem. Although I didn’t expect to go saving the Guardians of the Galaxy.”

“Okay first question, how much for the cybernetic circlet on your head?” asked Rocket.

“Rocket!” Mantis and Peter exclaimed.

“What?!”

“Hate to tell you this Rocket but this high-grade of metal is infused to my body.” She told them.

“Never stopped me before.” Shrugged Rocket.

“I am Groot!” Groot snapped.

“I think the main question is how did you know we were down at that ritual chamber?” asked Nebula suspiciously.

“Like I said before I didn’t. I originally went to Huitzilopochtli for a faulty deal on some priceless metal my mom had struck a deal with him. My aunt was originally going to take the job but I offered to go in her place. After all, no one suspects a young girl to do any harm, right?”

“That’s the ploy I’ve done in the past.” Said Nebula.

“After securing the right metal and making the point to never cross Zaofu again, that’s when I heard the drums and I saw you guys about to become his prized jaguar’s next meal. Lucky for us, those beasts don’t have any real loyalty to him.”  

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on just a second there kid. You said you came from Zaofu? As in the Zaofu?” asked Rocket in awe.

“The very same. Unless there’s another planet in the galaxy by that title.”

“What’s Zaofu?” asked Peter.

“Oh-ho! Next to Nidavellir, Zaofu is the second greatest planet to ever exist. It’s home to some of the strongest and rarest metal in the entire galaxy. I would very much like to go there.” Rocket boasted.

“He’s right.” Said Nebula.  “The metal from Zaofu is not only said to be the strongest but also the most durable. It’s where—Thanos gained some of my parts to make me better than Gamora.” She said looking down at her arm.

“I thought I had recognized that material. That’s our regenerative metal. Able to put itself back together no matter how extreme the damage. But we’ve only ever used that on people with birth defects or amputees. Had my mother known that it went to Thanos of all people, she’d never would’ve agreed. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’ve gotten used to it.” Nebula shrugged.

“I have to ask though, what is the Guardians of the Galaxy doing at the Temple of Huitzilopochtli? I mean I know you guys are willing to protect those throughout the galaxy but I didn’t think that included Gods of War.”

“It’s a long story.” Peter started off but Mantis said.

“We’re helping Thor with the God Killer.”

“Mantis!” hissed Nebula.

“What? She seems trustworthy.”

“God killer huh? That’s the first I’ve heard of it. I would’ve thought nothing could touch those deities.”

“So we thought too, but then we received a message from one of golden boy’s friends and apparently someone is literally slaughtering gods left and right. Already over 300 of them have been killed.” Explained Rocket.  The girl let out a low whistle and said.

“Hog-monkeys. Well if you’re going up against an opponent like that, you’re gonna need something a lot stronger to fight and protect yourselves with. Cause if you though old Huitzilopochtli was bad, you haven’t seen anything yet.”

“You saying you’re allowing us to come to Zaofu?” asked Rocket.

“If you’re still up for it.”

“Well let me ask the captain about that, oh yeah it’s me. Yes we’ll go!”

“Rocket how many times do I have to say it I’m the Captain.” Hissed Peter under his breath.

“You know you really shouldn’t talk that way about your Captain, Quill. By the way, you never told us your name girlie.”

“Oh right how silly of my. The name’s (Y/n) Beifong. Daughter of High Lady Suyin Beifong of Zaofu.” She introduced herself.

“Wait, Beifong? You mean the richest family in the galaxy Beifong?” asked Rocket.  “Say, do you think once we get you home and return the metal you’re people have been swindled out of, we could probably get a little reward for our part in the trade?” (Y/n) chuckled and said to him.

“Slow down there Captain, let’s just get back to Zaofu and talk to my mother about this. She’s the one in charge of the economy.” And with that the Guardians set course for the planet Zaofu.

It was a beautiful planet of green and earth all over the landscape.  Lakes and rivers so crystal clear, they reflected the very sky itself and it’s two suns gave plenty of light but no heat to the land.  As the Guardians soared over the land they soon came across an advanced city entirely made of metal.

“Agent to tower; this is Agent Beifong Badge #349876 requesting clearance to land. Tower guard this is Agent Beifong Badge #349876 requesting clearance to land.” (Y/n) said after punching in a few codes on the holographic pad in front of her.

‘Tower to Agent Beifong, your request is granted. Welcome home Princess.’ A male voice soon came up over the intercoms.

“Just take us West of the palace and land 50 degrees West heading 0-3-0.” She advised Rocket and Peter who nodded and together they followed her instructions and safely landed their ship on top of a large landing platform that stood just feet from a large skyscraper tower of the palace.  (Y/n) grabbed the metal from her ship (that had been piggy-backed in the Guardian’s ship’s lower decks).  Their ship opened up and they walked down the stairway and there stood to their right about ten guards all wearing the same metal tight uniform (Y/n) had on.

And just ahead of them stood two women.  One wore the exact same armor but over her left breast plate was a silver badge in the shape of a star while the other woman beside her wore dark green tunic that rested over her green pants and sleeveless shirt.  The tunic cover had a metal collar going around it with each plate slowly increasing in size before decreasing again as it came back around. 

Much like (Y/n) a circlet rested over her head and she also wore gauntlets with metal plates in the shape of pentagons overlapping each other.  Both women looked fairly similar to each other in that both had greying hair but were fair looking, although the woman in the armor had a more gruff appearance to her while the other woman had a more gentle facial expression.

The guards all slammed their fists together, the metal from their armors sounding out a loud clank as they greeted the Princess on her safe return.  As (Y/n) and the Guardians stood before the two women, (Y/n) greeted them with a head bow.

“Chief, Mother. I have successfully secured the real metal we were promised and gave our message loud and clear to the War god Huitzilopochtli.”

“I never doubted you wouldn’t. You’re one of the best soldiers on the squad, and I’m not just saying that.” the woman in the black armor said.

“I’m just glad you’ve come home safely. And with some new friends I see.” The woman in the green tunic said.

“Yes, Mother, Chief Beifong, I’d like to introduce the Guardians of the Galaxy. They were prisoners of Huitzilopochtli when I went to secure the metal. About to be sacrificed to his prized jaguars. Guardians this is my mother and ruler of Zaofu Suyin Beifong, and my aunt and Chief of police, Lin Beifong.”

“That man knows nothing about diplomacy. Always kills first and asks questions later.” Suyin rolled her eyes.

“He is the God of War for a reason Suy.” Lin told her sister and she came up to (Y/n) and took the chess from her hands.  “I’ll take this down to our research facility.”

“Yes Chief.” (Y/n) bowed to her and both her aunt and the police force walked off towards the lab.

“Now I had asked this to your daughter earlier that since we helped your daughter recover some prized and rare metal that was promised to you, don’t you think we should be given a little compensation for helping her return what was rightfully meant to be yours?” asked Rocket as he rubbed his thumb, index and tall fingers together.

“Rocket!” exclaimed Mantis.

“How about this, we’ll talk about payment if you all stay for dinner and take some rest here tonight.” Suyin offered.

“As much as we appreciate that Lady Beifong…..” Peter started off only to be politely interrupted by Suyin.

“Please call me Suyin. Lady Beifong was my grandmother.”

“Suyin. We’re kinda in a tight schedule. Apparently someone’s killing gods and we promised not-very good looking Thor that we’d try and figure out who’s behind the killings.”

“Actually I might have some information in regards to that. But in order to go up against him, you’re gonna need some of our weapons and armor. Come, join me and my family for dinner and we’ll discuss everything.” With that suggestion and offer, the Guardians accepted Suyin’s offer and joined the Beifong family for dinner.

After coming to a negotiation, Suyin had her engineers and scientists build and forge the Guardians new weapons and tech to take down any gods like Huitzilopochtli’s forces and powers.  While observing the engineers add some new parts to their ship, Peter soon heard the sound of rocks being thrown around and crashing into a wall.

He went to investigate when he saw (Y/n) bending not only the rocks but metal as well.  Shooting out a metal wire to cut apart some trees and pull their branches off, or successfully transform the large boulders into various shapes before firing them at various targets.

“I thought I was going crazy at first seeing you do all that back at Jaguar-man’s palace.” She jumped and fired one of her metal wires which wrapped around Peter in a tight cocoon sending him on his back.

“Oh Star-lord, forgive me I tend to strike whenever someone surprises me like that.” She released her wires and they zipped back into her gauntlets while Peter assured her.

“No worries, I’ve had worse done to me before.” She helped him up and he asked her.  “So I’m guessing this is a normal after dinner activity for you?”

“I like to come out here to get away from it all. Don’t get me wrong I love my family to death but—sometimes I feel like I don’t belong here.”

“What do you mean?”

“Promise you won’t go blabbing to my mom about this?”

“Cross my heart.” Peter said as he crossed his heart for emphasis.  (Y/n) extended her hand and two small rocks slowly rose up from the ground over her palm and as she slowly wriggled her fingers, the rocks spun in a gentle circle around each other in a dance over her palm.

“Believe it or not, this ability I’m doing right now. I’m the only person in my family that can do this.”

“But don’t the Beifong family have the ability to control metal?”

“It’s true to a degree. The suit of armor that both me and my aunt Lin wear, it helps them control metal but without it, they’re powerless. Ever since I was a young girl and discovered I could bend earth to my will, my mother said it was because of my father’s gift. But the thing is, my father doesn’t have this ability, nor does anyone in his bloodline. I’ve tried to ask my mother for the truth but she always tells me that it’d be too much for me to bear.”

“So you think that your mom—”

“Cheated on her real husband? I doubt it, cause whenever I did ask about him in the past, there’s always this—pure hatred in her eyes. But she always told me that who he was didn’t matter. Baatar is my real father and my real brothers and sister are here. Aunt Lin is my real aunt and I am a Beifong through and through. But deep down I get this feeling that maybe I should make that decision for myself. On whether or not I should have the chance to meet him or not.”

“I get it. Sorta. I mean I thought that when I met my dad, he’d be everything I thought I’d ever longed for. Only to turn out that he killed my mother and tried to use me to conquer the entire galaxy. He may have been my father, but he wasn’t my daddy. I learned that from my real father after he had sacrificed himself to save me.”

“That’s heavy.” Whistled (Y/n).

“Yeah, it was. But Yondu was a good dad to me.” He said as he took out his Zune player.  “So your uhh—earth bending powers, how did you discover them?” Peter then tried to change the subject before he started to cry over his memories of Yondu.  (Y/n) smiled knowing this type of maneuver (her brothers did this all the time whenever they’d try to be strong and hardcore).

“Like I said, I was a young when it happened. I was just playing with my sister Opal out by the lake skipping rocks when suddenly as I reached out for one, my hands glew this bright blue light and the rock just shot up into my palm. We were both so scared that we ran to my mother crying in fear. I honestly don’t remember much after that but my mother had my aunt teach me how to control it. Got me my first metal-bending suit and I’ve been training with her ever since.”

Hearing her mention the blue light it perked Peter’s curiosity and he asked her.

“This blue light, can you describe it in anyway? Like what it made you feel when it came to you?”

“I—I don’t know how to explain it but….I do remember it being almost like my palms were on fire, yet they didn’t burn me. It felt like—like when you touch warm sand on a beach. Yet there was this feeling of—power to it. Like I could do anything with it.” Peter’s eyes widened.

He did remember that feeling when Ego told him about his Celestial heritage and taught him how to summon the light to his hands.  No but it—it couldn’t be? Could it? Could she really be his…….

“(Y/N)! Aunt Lin says she needs to speak to you about your armor! Says she’s got an upgrade for you!” one of her brothers called out to her.  She turned and exclaimed back.

“I’ll be there in a sec Wei!” she turned to Peter and said, “Better not keep Aunt Lin waiting. She hates it when people keep her waiting.”

“Yeah, yeah I better go and talk to the team about our next game plan. Also tell your aunt thanks for letting us use some of her police weapons.”

“She may not be happy about lending our weapons to non-Zaofuians but she’ll get over it, especially since it’s going to the Guardians of the Galaxy. But I’ll give her your regards anyways.” They went their separate ways and once Peter saw that no one was around, he took off sprinting towards Mantis’ room and rapidly knocked on her door.

“Could you be any louder at knocking Peter? I don’t think the others from Knowhere heard you.” Mantis whined with a groan.

“We need to talk.” Peter said urgently.  Sensing the urgency in his tone and knowing that this was a serious matter, Mantis allowed her brother inside and she shut the door behind her as well as locked it.  “You will not believe the conversation that I just had with (Y/n).”

“Are we being taken prisoners again?” asked Mantis worriedly.

“What no! No! Look, I know this may seem out of nowhere, but I want you to tell me first about when Ego found you and tried to make you feel a connection to the Celestial light.”

“Why would you want to know about that?”

“Just trust me Mantis. Please.” She looked into her brother’s eyes and saw the desperation but also some inkling of knowledge that he was going to fill her in on the details later.

“I had lied when I had told Drax and Gamora that Ego found me in my larva stage. He had actually came for me shortly after my mother had passed. Much like when Yondu came for you, he brought me to his planet and trained me just like he did you. But when I tried to make a connection to the light, all that awakened within me was my empathic abilities. Ego then told me that even though I’d never be able to help him with the Expansion, he still could find a purpose for me. And I had been forced to convince various of our other siblings to go along with us, before he said that I would only be used to help him sleep.”

“Wow, he really was a jackass.”

“Now will you tell me why you asked me about that?”

“(Y/n)’s ability to move earth, you know how she could bend those rocks back at Jaguar dude’s temple, turns out she has a connection to the Celestial light.”

“Are you saying that……(Y/n) is our—”

“Sister? I think she might be.”

“But how? When Ego died, you lost your connection to the Celestial light.”

“I don’t know. But the way she described the Light within her hands was exactly the same way it felt with me when I made my connection to it.”

“Did you tell her the truth?”

“Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaa—no.” stretched Peter.

“Peter we must tell her the truth. She deserves to know!” Peter stepped in front of her and said.

“I know she deserves to know but at the same time we can’t cause any family drama amongst the Beifongs. (Y/n) told me how everytime she brought up about her real dad, Suyin got this burning anger in her eyes and told her that they were her family, not him. And after seeing the way (Y/n) fights against Aztec Gods I’d hate to fight against her own mother and aunt.”

“So what are we going to do?” she asked him.

“I’ll think of something. Until I do, this stays between us okay? I mean it don’t tell anyone about this conversation to anyone else, especially Drax. You know he can’t keep a secret to save his own skin.”

“I promise.” She held out her pinkie and Peter wrapped his pinkie around hers.  “Sister’s promise.”

“Brother’s oath.” Peter replied back as they shook pinkies.

After about 3 days, the Guardians were finally ready to take off to find more Gods to save and check up on.

“We can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for us Suyin.” Peter thanked her.

“It was our pleasure to help in aiding the Guardians of the Galaxy. And if you’re ever passing by this way again, our doors will always be open to you.” Said Suyin with a respectable bow.  The Guardians bowed back to her before heading back to their ship, but it was then Peter stopped midway up the ramp when he said.

“Actually, there is something else we’d like to ask for.” The rest of the Guardians paused and turned to Peter.

“And just what would that be?” asked Chief Lin suspiciously.

“We’d like to extend an invitation to (Y/n) in joining us.” Everyone but Mantis became wide-eyed.  “After our experience with the Aztec god of war, we realized that we are heavily out-manned and she managed to take down all his forces single-handedly while also saving our asses. And if ever we need a tune-up she would know more about how to fix your special enhanced metal material.”

“Quill, I only had to be with Zaofu’s engineers for only 2 minutes and I can get the hang of it.” Proclaimed Rocket.

“Still it couldn’t hurt to have an expert who actually came from the place of its origins be with us should we ever need it. Two heads are better than one right?” Suyin was stunned as she turned to her youngest child and asked her.

“This is up to you (Y/n). Do you wish to go with the Guardians?” (Y/n) looked between both her family and the Guardians with a heavy heart.  She then walked up to her mother and spoke from the heart.

“My heart will always belong to Zaofu. But from the days that I would be with Aunt Lin on missions, I have seen great suffering. Some of which has been at the hands of our own metal smuggled by black marketers. I feel like Zaofu can do more for the galaxy than we already have.” Suyin sighed as she closed her eyes.

“You are my youngest child (Y/n). And I had hoped to have you remain at my side for a few more years. But now I see that you are no longer a child anymore. And at some point, I must learn to let go. If you should ever wish to return home, we’ll be here waiting for you.” (Y/n) smiled and embraced her mother.

“I love you mom.”

“I love you too.” After embracing her mother, she stood before her aunt and prepared to surrender her badge but Lin held out her hand to stop her.

“Keep it. I didn’t make you an officer of Zaofu for nothing.” She bowed before her aunt before hugging her.  Lin smiled softly down at her and embraced her back.  (Y/n) then bid goodbye to all her brothers and sister as well as her dad before turning to the Guardians and joining alongside them.

As they entered and the ramp slid back up, (Y/n) took one last look at her family as they bid her goodbye and she wiped her hidden tears away and waved to them in return before the Guardian’s ship left Zaofu.

Now heading to their next destination to answer the next signal from some Light elves on Álfheimr (Y/n) soon spotted Peter on the upper main decks looking out into the endless starry sky.

“So what was the real reason?” she asked him.

“Huh?” Peter turned to her.

“The real reason you offered me a spot on the Guardians.”

“What are you talking about kid? What I said was 100% true. Rocket may think he’s smart but no one can really understand Zaofu metal than someone who was raised there. And…..”

“Peter, I know you’re lying.”

“What so you can detect when people are lying?”

“In a sense. My grandmother was born blind, so one day she ran off and found herself lost in a cave until she came across some badger-moles. They were blind just like her, but they used the earth as an extension of their senses. She learned out to see the world through the earth around her. Feeling seismic energy of people’s footsteps and even hearing their heartbeats through the earth. And when my mom and aunt were born, she taught it to them, and then Aunt Lin taught it to me. And last night, your heartrate was beating rapidly when I told you about my powers. So come on, out with it.” Peter sighed and confessed.

“Okay, so obviously you know how I found out my dad was a real douchebag and tried to destroy the galaxy. But before that, he taught me that being a Celestial he had a connection to the Light, and he taught it to me as well as Mantis. Even though Mantis didn’t have a connection to it, she still proved a purpose by awakening her empathic powers. As for me, I did have a connection to the Light. And it was that same connection that you said you felt when you first discovered your powers.”

“So you can earth-bend too?”

“No. I mean I did when I fought Ego, but after we had killed him to stop the Expansion, I lost my connection to the Light. Yet somehow, you still have it.” (Y/n) stared at him and slowly her harsh expression turned to shock as she cautiously said.

“Wait…….so, you’re suggesting that I—”

“Ego told me he spent eons trying to find a second Celestial to bring forth the expansion but each of his children failed him. So he had them killed. Millions of children slaughtered all because they couldn’t live up to his expectations, except me. And in a way, you. But your mom and the rest of Zaofu refused to surrender you to him. That’s probably why she never talked about your real father.”

(Y/n) was stunned silent as she fell to her knees.  She looked down at her shaky hands and Peter slowly knelt down in front of her.

“But he’s gone. He’s gone for good. We blew up his core and there’s absolutely no chance of him ever coming back. And if by some insane, unexplainable reason that he ever does come back, he won’t get to you. Because you’ve not only got your family on Zaofu on yourself, but you’ve also got us, Especially Mantis and I.” (Y/n) looked up at him and asked.

“You and Mantis are……”

“As surprising as it seems, yeah. She’s my sister. Half-sister but my sister nonetheless. And so are you.” He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and gently shook it which got her to smile.

“At least now I can say I’ve got another sister to add to the ranks.”

“Oh come on, having another big brother can’t be that bad. Especially if that brother is me. C’mon at least admit that I’m the coolest out of all your brothers.” She stood back up laughing as she walked away. “(Y/n)? C’mon (Y/n) admit it! I know you want to say it but you’re just too stubborn to admit it. Not every girl can say their big brother is a member of the Guardians, right? Right? (Y/n)! (Y/N)!!!!”

[klaineadvent]

That's a Wrap on the December Klaine Fanworks Challenge for 2023!

Thanks to everyone who wrote, drew, blogged, reblogged and read or admired any of the works published in the past three weeks.

Special thanks to @caramelcoffeeaddict @1908jmd @todaydreambelieversfic for the post art, reblogging, and place to host some of these fun works.

For anyone celebrating and everyone who isn't, from all of us to all of you, wishing you a peaceful holiday season.

[walkingwiththegods1]

Why Saturnalia/Sol Invictus/Yule, are 100% better; than Christmas!

Since I was a kid, I was part of the celebrations for Christmas (since helping to put the dishes, till wearing new clothes to show to your friends; and/or visiting relatives); but... Sadly, the joy I felt at Christmas's Eve; and during all the season, disappear way before my first decade of life: I really didn't want to celebrate Christmas, anymore! But people never asked me, why I don't like to celebrates "The Most Wonderful Time of The Year!" Well, I'm going to resume it, in three things:

People, behave at its worst in this date...: Fighting in the table, drinking too much and behave badly after; eating till getting sick, and... You name it! (Unbelievable that, in a time for "Peace, Love and Celebrating The Birth of someone of high morale..." People acted, in such poor behavior...)

All revolves around Materialism (...And Selfishness): More than a decade ago in my country, it started the costume than you must give gifts in Christmas; and since then... If you can't find or have money to get the present, you are look badly by the person/s than didn't receive his/her/their gifts; which decides to doesn't speak to you again, till the next Christmas! Also, some people only desires to be the ones than receives attention/help/gifts/ in this time; BUT... Doesn't feel they need to give or return nothing to the people/community, or even; to their friends and/or family. (A time than must be to try to be a better person, than many picks to only thinks in their own needs) And, at last;

The Christmas's Hipocrisy: People/Neighbors wishing you "Happiness and Love in the next year!", but... Never back to speak to you, or remember than you exist, in the next 364/365 days of the year! (Which... Is a very rude and cruel thing, to make)

Now... Since I found out about "The Winter's Pagan Holidays"... I feel like that joy, that I lose in my Childhood; Has returned again into my life!

Why Saturnalia, Sol Invictus and/or Yule; are way better than it's more popular counterpart?! They are for this reasons:

Remarks about acting well and unity in the Family/Community: Since inmemorial times, are stories (real and legendaries) about how people behave with more love and goodness; to their family/friends/the community. So, our ancestors marked the way to behave in this time: Helps to your Community, and... Eat your fest in this time, treating to the ones at your table; with the upmost respect!

Gifts... Are not the most important thing in this time: The most important thing in this time of Saturnalia/Sol Invictus/Yule... Is having a feast with your family, with friends you love as family; or, even sharing a plate of dinner with someone than you know than doesn't have to eat; or to invite to someone you know than will be alone in this time. (Plus: If someone gifts you sometime or not, it doesn't changes your mood; 'cause you feel happy to even being able to celebrate this holiday/s, a year more! ... And the gifts than are handmade, are more than welcome: It means than someone invest their time and efforts, thinking in gives you something made with love, than makes you happy!)

Is a time to do something good for others, and being less selfish: You can take a time to volunteer in the cause of your liking, cleaning repairing old toys and gifts them to poor kids; helping a person to learn to read and write, and... Even giving a helpful advice, or sitting and hearing to someone for five minutes than is in bad moment; are things you came make to brighten someone's day! And, at last;

Reparts Joyness to all around you, in this time... And, beyond!: Says than you wishes than anyone than you greet, than they have a great time and year; from your heart, and... Don't let to your neighbors and friends abandoned, for the rest of the year: Show them than they really are important to you, and than your Winter's Greetings, "Wasn't only to being polite..."

That's all in this post, and remember; to do good and being happy, in this magical time: Happy Sol Invictus, AND... So Be It!

[doubleappled]

About the blogger meme

Thank you to @bioloyg for the tag and the fic callout! Team Pete forever and for always!

Star Sign: Libra, but it never resonates the way my enneagram 2 does

Favorite Holidays: Groundhog Day. I love those little dudes (although I wish we could leave them in peace so maybe let’s just celebrate their existence and not force our way into their homes)

Last Meal: Enchiladas for dinner

Last Music Listened To: Waxahatche’s Great Thunder

Last Movie Watched: hmmmm in the theater? I think Bottoms, which I adored

Last TV Show Watched: Shameless. I’m in the beginning of season 9 and it is messing me up in 5000 different ways. The acting is great (sometimes) and the writing is awful (mostly) and the storylines are ridiculous (always) and it’s at least 5 or 6 seasons too long. But every once in a while it really makes you think, and it’s completely gotten under my skin. And I will finish it if it’s the last thing I ever do. And it might be, because wow.

Last Book/Fic Finished: I just finished Justin Torres’ Blackouts and I LOVED it. And the most recent chapter of @glitterslag’s It's Been You and Me Since Before I Was Me — is a witchy creepy Appalachian Gothic MASTERPIECE that I adore. Oh and Blissymbolics’ Colorless Richie Jerimovich, also a masterpiece even though it is sydrichie and that is giving me a teeny tiny identity crisis okay moving on

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: I am thisclose to giving up on Lessons In Chemistry. I do not get this book at all.

Currently Reading: nobody ever got my soul right like she could by seh28

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: Quite a bit about what happens to children of people wirh narcissistic personality disorder (hi Donna, yes I am armchair psychologizing and pathologizing a fictional character) for the fic I’m currently writing. I’m not a really intense researcher, but I’ve read all about elevator mechanics and ancient marriage rites and British parking tickets and EMP’s 2019 spring menu and how to cook uni and where pastina comes from, all for fics. I love that aspect of writing.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: It’s embarrassing, but it’s probably the first time that one of my favorite fic authors commented on one of my own fics, ca. 2018. I was on the subway, and I dropped my phone on the disgusting wet floor when I saw the incredibly lovely comment they’d posted.

FaNvorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: I really only have two old fandoms, but I do miss HP quite a bit. It’s such a robust space, with really nice people, and so many different fests and prompts and challenges. I still read a bit when my favorite authors post, and would like to write for it again someday. (Also, if you’re the anon who’s messaged me multiple times to tell me that my new fics aren’t as good or creative as my HP, and that I “used to be a good writer” — please stop. That’s not the way to convince me to go back, and it makes me feel bad)

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: Truly I’ve never experienced a hyperfixation like I have with The Bear. I wish fanfic had existed in its current state when I was younger, or that I’d been cool enough to figure out the concept and write it on my own. I would have been VERY ACTIVE in a Dead Poets Society fandom if it had existed when I was obsessed with that movie, a decade after it came out, when I watched it practically every day for a year 🤪

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: I just have 15 different Bear WIPs, none of which have any plot, wooo!

Anyway this was all very fun to think about. Tagging @amieraisposting @kdbleu @justabovewater20 @yannaryartside @glitterslag — only if this is your jam — and anyone else who wants to join in.

[saturdaynightghostclub]

Hello darlings!

If anyone’s still out there: I’m wishing you a happy and safe holiday season, and thanking you for your endless support and patience in the face of my stubborn inconsistency. It’s meant more to me than you know.

I am very plainly not a writer, and certainly not a writer of the caliber you lovely folks have told me I am, but the opportunity to write anything for a receptive audience has been phenomenal and I cannot thank you all enough.

The Seattle series has been on my mind (read: the bane of my existence) as someone who can’t leave a damn thing unfinished, so let this be a gift for you in the new year: it will get done, even if it takes me until the day I die. Peace and love y’all!

[flslp87]

Updated 12/30/2022 for New Year’s 2023

It’s been three years since I put together this little ficlit together. But every year, I pull it out and add to it. Who knows, maybe someday I’ll have a complete story.

Life has changed a lot for many of us since OUAT ended. While I’ve not been writing (or really even reading) fanfics, I haven’t said goodbye to writing, though. I’ve been writing small town mystery romance. My books are available in all Estores. You can check them out here.  Swan Harbor Books 

Some of my friends that I met through our love for CS @imagnifika  @duathadun @lfh1226-linda and Maggie for hanging with me through it all. 

My hope is for 2023 to bring peace and happiness to all. Remember - without hope, there would be no happy endings. 

This ficlet follows canon from my Season 7 Canon divergent -- A Happy Ending Begins with Hope. It can be found on AO3, FF, and tumblr with gifs. 

Summary: Hope has a date.  How will her family react?

Hope’s New Year’s Date

Words ~ 1500

During Hope Jones’ young life, Storybrooke had gone through many changes, and none more so than around the holidays. They had town Easter Egg hunts, fireworks and picnics in July, bonfires for Halloween, family feasts at Thanksgiving, and caroling at Christmas. 

Hope had memories of each one of them. However, there was one event that she had been looking forward to for years, and that was the Snowflake Ball. 

Held every New Year’s Eve, the Snowflake Ball was only for those who were sixteen and above. Everyone brought out their formal clothes and danced until midnight. And, if she was lucky, the man she was crushing on would ask her to go with him. 

Gideon Gold was ahead of her in school and so dreamy, he made her head spin. Plus, when he looked at her with his chocolate brown eyes, her heart raced, and her breath stuck in her throat. 

She’d been crushing on him for years, but it had only been in the last six months that he’d given her the time of day. Did that mean that he was seeing her as more than a girl? If so, was it possible she’d finally get to spend the evening with him — as his date? 

Two weeks before the New Year’s Eve Ball, Hope was at Granny’s with her best friends, Melanie and Robyn, bemoaning the fact that Gideon still hadn’t done as she wished. Her only saving grace was that he’d not asked anyone else either — of that, she was sure. So far, she’d tried everything she could think of to let him know she was available. At the speed he was moving, though …. 

“Earth to Hope.” Melanie snapped her fingers several times. “Earth to Hope.” 

“I’m sitting right here, Melanie,” Hope grumbled. “What’s the problem?” 

“You were staring off into space again,” Robyn replied. “Were you dreaming about Gideon?” 

“Shush,” Hope hissed. “He’s sitting right over there!” 

“He can’t hear us,” Melanie assured her. 

Hope glanced over her shoulder toward where Gideon was sitting with her uncle, Neal, and had to agree with Melanie. There was no way they could be heard from that far away. 

“You should have told your uncle to tell Gideon to ask you out,” Robyn suggested. “It would have saved a lot of circling around each other.” 

“Don’t you know circling around each other is part of the fun?” Hope grinned. “Or at least that’s what my mother says.” 

“You don’t believe her, though. Do you?” Melanie followed up. 

Hope glanced up from where she’d been pleating and unpleating her napkin. “Why would you say that?” 

Melanie nodded down at the table. “Because you’re nervous. If you were having fun, you wouldn’t be nervous.” 

Did she agree with her friends? She wasn’t so sure. Yes, she enjoyed flirting with Gideon. But it would be so much easier to enjoy flirting with him, if she knew what he thought of her. 

“You could ask him, you know?” Robyn offered pragmatically. “This is the twenty-first century, after all.” 

“I know,” Hope sighed. “But …” Again, her gaze was drawn over her shoulder to the table where Gideon and Neal were still involved in a deep conversation. Robyn was right. She could ask him. 

“Go on,” Melanie encouraged. “But what?” 

Hope shrugged. “My father is a little old-fashioned and well …” 

Robyn frowned. “But didn’t I see in the book that your mother asked your father out first?” 

“That was different,” Hope murmured. “My father didn’t think he was good enough for my mother.” 

“And you don’t think that’s an issue with Gideon?” Melanie asked. “After all, his father and your father have a history.” 

“Which I’m fully aware of,” Hope snapped. “But I want him to ask me. Do you think I’m expecting too much?” 

“I would say ‘have hope,’” Melanie grinned. “But something tells me you don’t need it.” 

“Why?” 

“Because,” Robyn tipped her chin slightly in Gideon’s direction, “ he’s headed this way.” 

“He’s what?” Hope squeaked. 

“On his way over,” Melanie whispered. 

Hope glanced over her shoulder, and when her gaze briefly met Gideon’s, her heart dropped into her stomach. 

Oh my! Oh my! Oh my! She leaned on the table. “How do I look?” 

Melanie rolled her eyes. “You look fine. Stop worrying.” 

“Hope,” Gideon’s aftershave titillated her senses, “can I speak with you for a moment?”  

Hope’s gaze slowly lifted until her blue eyes clashed with his dark ones. “Sure.” She wanted to roll her eyes at just how breathy she sounded. “Can I help you with something?” 

Gideon’s gaze touched on Melanie and Robyn, then back to Hope. “Can we speak alone? Would that be alright?” 

“Oh, Okay. That would be fine.” Then she wanted to roll her eyes at how ridiculous she sounded. 

“Can we talk now?” Gideon asked again. 

“Go on,” Melanie mouthed. 

Hope took a nervous breath and slid out of the booth. The butterflies in her stomach took off at once. It forced her to focus on putting one foot in front of the other as she followed Gideon across the floor. 

He led her around the building to a secluded corner and crowded her, pushing her to back up against the wall. Being close to him was everything she’d ever wanted, but now that it was happening, her heart was racing, and the urge to giggle was strong.   

“Is this okay?” Gideon asked hesitantly. “I noticed that—“

“—Everyone was staring at us?” Hope muttered. 

“Yes.” Gideon smiled. “Are you okay with that?” 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

“Well,” he went on. “Our fathers …” 

“Will never be best friends,” Hope replied. “Why?” She hesitated for a beat. “Are you scared of my dad?” Then she wanted to smack herself in the head that those words had fallen from her mouth. “Scared?” Gideon laid his hand on his chest. “Me?” 

“There’s no one else out here.” 

“I’m not scared.” Gideon propped one hand on the building next to her head and leaned in a little closer. “Should I be?” 

“It depends.” 

“On?” 

“Why you brought me out here?” 

Gideon’s gaze dropped to her mouth, then right back up. It caused her lips to tingle and made her wonder what it would feel like if she just went for it. 

“Hope.” He brushed her hair behind her shoulder and took a half step closer. His dark eyes mesmerized her, and his heat reached out. “I was wondering if you would go to the Snowflake Ball with me?” 

Her breath caught, and the words Be cool! Be cool! were on repeat inside her head. But having Gideon ask her to go to the dance had been her dream for longer than she could remember. “Yes!” She fought to keep from squealing. “Yes, I’ll go to the dance with you.” 

A slow smile crawled across Gideon’s mouth. “You will?” 

“I will.” 

His eyes twinkled, and before he even opened his mouth, somehow, she knew what he was going to say. “And you’ll protect me from your father? If it’s necessary, that is.” 

Hope giggled. “I’ll protect you.” 

“Good,” he replied in a husky voice. “I’ll pick you up at 8:00 p.m.”  

“I’ll be waiting.”  

Gideon brushed his knuckles down her cheek. “We’ll have fun.” 

Her breath hitched, and she fought to push the lump in her throat down. “We will.” 

“Shall we?” He inclined his head toward the diner door. 

In a daze, Hope followed him back inside and slid into her booth seat. “Well,” Melanie and Robyn cried simultaneously. “What happened?” 

“What happened?” Hope asked absently. 

“Did he ask you to the dance?” Melanie pushed. 

“Did you say yes?” Robyn followed up. 

“What are you going to tell you parents?” Melanie questioned. 

Hope glanced from one friend to the other. “What do you mean?” 

“You know the history between your fathers,” Robyn stated. “Will there be bloodshed?” 

“Bloodshed?” Hope giggled. “Aren’t you the one who said this is the twenty-first century?” 

“True,” Robyn sighed. “But that had nothing to do with the possibility of a duel.” 

Hope rolled her eyes. “There’s not going to be a duel. Everything will be fine.” 

“Good luck with that.” Melanie smiled sympathetically. “I’m glad I’m not you.”  

“Gee, thanks.” Hope glanced over her shoulder in Gideon’s direction again, and their gazes clashed. “I told him I’d protect him if I needed to.” 

Robyn waggled her eyebrows. “But who’s going to protect you from Gideon?” 

“Do you think I need to be protected from Gideon?” Hope murmured. “I’m not so sure.” 

“I guess it depends on what you want,” Melanie replied. “What do you want?” 

Once again, Hope’s gaze clashed with Gideon’s. What did she want from him? The memory of how he’d made her lips tingle when he’d looked at them had her turning back to her friends. “What do I want?” 

“Yes, Hope,” Robyn nodded. “What do you want?” 

“A kiss,” Hope sighed. “I just want a kiss.” 

***

Fin ... at least for now. 

Will she get it? Should the story be finished? 

Happy 2023! May all your dreams come true.  

Tagged a few people who were on the initial one.

@sailormew4 @annaamell @emmateo26 @bethacaciakay @ultraluckycatnd @effulgent-mind @ilovemesomekillianjones @kat2609 @brooke-to-broch @missgymgirl @galadriel26 @the-lady-of-misthaven​ @charmingturkeysandwich​ @jennjenn615​ @kimmy46​ @snowbellewells​ @iamanneenigma​ @daxx04​ @nickillian​ @in-spirational​ @gillie​  @britishguyslover​ @ginnyjinxedandhanshotritafirst​ @kmomof4​  @linda8084​ @golfgirld​ @captain-swan-coffee​ @searchingwardrobes​ @hollyethecurious​ @laughswaytoomuch​  @allyourdarlingswans​  @winterbaby89​ @facesiousbutton82​ @therooksshiningknight​, @lfh1226-linda​ @tiganasummertree​  @jrob64 @jonesfandomfanatic    @everything-person @girl-in-a-tiny-box @resident-of-storybrooke @qualitycoffeethings @sherifffjones  @countrybroadwayprincess    @tiganasummertree   @hufflepuffinstorybrooke   @kristi555    @nikkiemms @gingerchangeling @marcella2727    @idontdothatveryoften @lady-bell

[hgejfmw-hgejhsf]

THE NOTEBOOK AU MY ROMAN EMPIRE

I was wondering when you might find your way over here to ask about The Notebook AU. Welcome in. Pour yourself some tea, coffee, or hot chocolate and let's get right down to it.

So surely by now y'all must know the stunningly gorgeous and perfect Notebook art created by @shirmirart right? Right? Well, if you don't, you can see it with your eyeballs right here.

It was that day that my life was changed entirely and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I HAD to write this fic. And so, what I did was, I rewatched The Notebook for the first time in a bit (despite having seen it many, many times), and I took some notes as I watched, and then I got to work. Anddddd then it stalled out a bit because of the holiday season.

But I am determined. I would really love to get it out into the world this summer, to coincide with that summer romance feel, but we shall see, as I am about to enter into my busiest season of the year at work. Trust that it IS HAPPENING though! As my promise to you that it's well and truly happening, I'll give you the start to the entire fic, beyond the cut:

I am no one special, just a common man with common thoughts. I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me, and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect, I’ve succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived. I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul, and for me that has always been enough. The summer sun sparkles off of the water as rainbow shadows flash along the painted blue wall, creating all manner of color combinations in the early morning light. A man stands at the window watching pensively as the birds begin to sing their morning songs and the water laps at the dock, worn wood giving way agonizingly slowly to nature, a battle that will be hard-fought but undoubtedly won.  His fingers dance on the wooden windowsill, the precision of their movement playing a silent tune for one that evokes brief flickers of soft skin and dark, yearning eyes. He doesn’t miss a single note. “Good morning,” says a voice from the doorway behind him, breaking the surface of the calm morning and sending ripples of sound out into the universe that reverberate through the room, through their bodies, and out to the lake beyond. An official, audible beginning to a brand new day. He turns, his attention fully on the visitor in the doorway. An old man, much like himself, whose eyes tell silent stories of a life well-lived in the crinkled corners and a twinkle that he doesn’t suspect could ever be dulled. If time hasn’t doused this man’s light, what else could? He holds a book in his hand and wears a pair of reading glasses atop his head that seem oddly familiar, causing the man at the window to reach for phantom glasses of his own only to find none. He blinks and shifts his focus to the wedding ring on the visitor’s left hand, a golden band with minor scuffs and scrapes visible even from across a room. Proof of a long-lasting love. The man at the window smiles and twists at his own ring that rests on his pinkie, silently wishing that he had a similar story of great love that this man must have. A small spark, like a flame trying to burst to life, burns fast and quick in his chest, only to immediately be suffocated when allowed the chance to breathe. He presses a hand reflexively over his heart, as if willing that spark to burn once more. But nothing comes. “I thought that I might read to you today, if you’re up for it,” the visitor says, pulling the man gently from his thoughts. He nods, uncertain why he feels such a pull towards this stranger, but feeling a sort of comfort and peace set in from the moment the man stepped into his space. “I’m Henry,” the man at the window says, stepping across the room just as the visitor moves towards him, meeting him in the middle. He holds out his hand for the visitor to take, and after a brief hesitation, the visitor shifts his book into his opposite hand so that he can accept the greeting. “Alex,” the visitor replies.

[tornsurvivors]

parsley : describe a holiday your muse enjoys , and why they enjoy it .

peony : what would a ‘ happy life ’ look like in your muse’s eyes ?

poppy : what comforts your muse ?

rhododendron : is your muse receptive to warnings & advice given by others ?

rose : how much does your muse value other people ? do they wish to have many friends , lovers , and/or associates ? are they an easy person to love ?

For Jaina!!

[ this headcanon prompt. ]

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐘. Winter Veil (or in our version, Christmas). Not just because of the cold weather, which Jaina absolutely loves. It's more because of the Spirit of Giving. A holiday where people can put aside their differences, problems, et cetera and just be happy. Mostly with family, whatever family they have left. Even though nothing was the same after Theramore and the traumatic events that took place after... Jaina continues to hold onto the one holiday that would always have a special place in her heart. Because it's one of the very few precious things she has left. Especially now that Jaina has reconciled with her mother, and still has her younger brother.

𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐘. You'd probably think a 'happy life' in Jaina's eyes would be where peace is everlasting, and where there is no Old God trying to bring Azeroth into ruin. Where no one is fighting. But Jaina is no longer that naive girl. She's a seasoned diplomatic agent who would see a happy life being with her father and older brother alive. A life where Arthas never became the Lich King. Perhaps a life where she would be married to Arthas with a child or two. Or another life where she would be married to the Ranger-General Sylvanas who never fell victim to the Lich King's cruelty. But even now, that would seem a little foolish to hope for to the Lord Admiral. So, maybe a happy life would just be where she isn't in pain from the side effects of the mana bomb and sitting on the beach with a beloved, staring out at the ocean. Where they can just be left alone for ten minutes. It wouldn't matter if that wasn't much time, every single minute would count to her. Come to think of it, perhaps that would be what a happy life is... still having something to fight and live for. To be able to love again.

𝐏𝐎𝐏𝐏𝐘. Jaina's comfort would be a place by the warm hearth inside her home during winter, curled up with one of her favorite literatures and a cup of hot cocoa, or coffee or her mother's infamous Kul Tiran apple cider. Either that, or being on her ship out at sea and reveling with her crew after an adventure, singing out and listening to sea shanties while they knock back a few mugs of ale. Or taking a walk on the beach during a rainy day -- yes, a rainy day. She does like being in the summer rain without the thunderstorms. It's a moment for herself away from the noise of the world and where she could think.

𝐑𝐇𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐎𝐍. Absolutely. She's too intelligent to not read between the lines. Advices are often considered to be confessions. She's sort of a perfectionist in that sense where she would analyze something to death in her head and finds her answers there. She's been through hell and back, so of course she's not going to ignore any warnings or advices. For that it could help her prepare for whatever danger that lurks around the corner, or help her refrain from making tragic mistakes again. After all, knowledge is the greatest weapon anyone could have.

𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄. For all of them -- it's a yes and no. She's never been particularly good at keeping relationships. It would be considered that she's more of a friend person than a lover. Being an advocate of peace before Theramore did not allow her much time to commit to a romantic relationship with Arthas. With Kalec, it wasn't a true relationship. It was only because Jaina wanted to feel validated, and not to feel alone. Even though she DID love him, cared for him and valued his sentiments. But it wasn't 'true love'. You know, that soulmate kinda thing. After Theramore and other traumatic events, she struggled with trusting people at all. Even her own mother. Anduin was one of the very few she could easily trust without question. But other than that, she wanted to be shut away from empathy because in her thinking -- it was a weakness that could get her killed in a world like Azeroth. Despite how desperately she wanted to love and to be loved. She does still care for humanity and for peace, even if it seemed so hopeless at times.

[free--therapy]

hii it's 🌼 anon! i hope you're doing well. i'm here to wish you a very happy new year (sorry i'm late) and to let you know that i'm so grateful as always that you're here!

this blog is the safest space i've ever come across online and you're the most non-judgemental person i've ever encountered. thank you for being the way you are! even if my opinions or thoughts on something don't align with yours at all, you never give a rude reply or hate on me or anything of that sort the way so many other communities i've seen doing with people having different opinions than the majority.

i'm thankful that you always tell me that my opinions and feelings are still valid no matter how different they are or how difficult or weird they are for others to understand. in turn, this makes me feel like my existence is valid even if it differs majorly on certain things.

there are many times when i send you asks rambling about my anxious thoughts and worries and as i've mentioned before, so many times, i end up not reading your replies mainly because even just venting out my worries to you helps me get a clear perspective on my anxious thoughts and most times, i end up deciding to try to believe in whatever my rational mind tells me even if it sounds selfish.

that said, if any of my old worries or anxieties come back, i always go through your blog and then at that time, read your replies to my old asks regarding those topics which i hadn't read before. so regardless of getting your opinions/advice on something or even just venting it out, for any reason really, your blog is like a safe haven. it truly calms me just knowing that i can fall back on this safe space when i need it.

that said, the amount of dedication you put to help people like me is so unbelievably amazing, i just....i can only be very very grateful. really, thank you so much!

once again, happy new year and i hope you have a very happy and healthy 2023! ✨

(oh and sorry if i make grammar mistakes and such in my asks, english is not my first language☺)

Hey Anon! 🌼 Happy new year to you as well. I hope you had a great holiday season and was able to get some rest and time for fun.

Thank you so much for your kind words 🥺❤ I'm really glad to know that I've created that sense of safety for you because I know what it's like to be in your shoes, so I'm glad I've been able to make you feel like you can be vulnerable with me and feel safe doing so. I know it's what I needed when I was going through my own stuff, so I know that anyone else could appreciate the same and why I even started this blog in the first place. I know how rare it is to come across someone who is understanding and non-judgmental, so thank you for validating me and confirming that all the hard work I've put into this blog is paying off.

I hope 2023 is a fantastic year for you and that it brings you more peace, understanding, and healing 💖

[amywritesthings]

about you. (cassian x you)

Pairing: Cassian Andor x F!Reader

Word Count: 5.6K

Summary: You are a rebel spy working as an escort at Canto Bight's cliffside casino. When Luthen cannot meet you for an intel exchange on New Year's Eve, he sends his best asset. Never in your wildest dreams did you think that meant you'd reunite with your former childhood best friend, Cassian Andor.

Warnings: New Year's Eve, Spy Thriller, Escort Service, Romantic Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Friends, Reunions, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Mentions of Sex Work, Wall Pinning, New Year's Eve Kiss

A/N: Happy New Year, everyone! I had a fun holiday one shot idea and wanted to try my hand at writing Cassian Andor. I am wishing you all a happy & healthy new year, and I can't wait to continue writing in 2023.

( Read on AO3 )

Canto Bight is always bustling at New Year’s Eve.

It’s why Luthen Rael has shown up on your doorstep for the first time in months. In his not-so subtle way, the man requests (see: demands) that you float back to your old haunt, the one within the glittering halls of their monument cliffside casino, and do what you do you best: entertain as a partner experience escort for the rich and powerful. 

The partner experience operation has been your designation from the very beginning of this rebellious calling. Your contribution to the rebellion, as he claims, is valuable — because the whispers in the night by decorated Imperials that feel safe in your company are priceless.

Whispers bring intel, and not even gold is as priceless as Imperial intel.

Luthen claims he knew of your potential the moment he laid eyes on you in a seedy dive bar on an Outer Rim moon. The little lamb far from her home planet Ferrix, looking fearful yet enraged all the same; starved, but most importantly willing to do anything to take down the Empire one domino at a time.

It was the type of spunk the older man needed in a claustrophobic world.

So you struck a deal: under trained supervision, you would run the casino circuits and red districts — never quite getting close enough to sleeping with the enemy (who knew the Empire thrived on humiliation and edging?) but enough to drug them, learn from them, then report back to him for the next move.

Rinse and repeat for six successful years.

And right now, you were supposed to be done. Find a small shack in the middle of nowhere knowing you did your part in the small but mighty agenda. Perhaps, eventually, you would find a way to make peace with your past and your present.

Then Luthen fucking Rael shows up at the stoop of said shack only six months later with a new opportunity.

A new strategy on the chess board.

(The rebellion, as he so candidly puts it, is never final.)

“Did you hear about what’s going on with Life Day this year on Canto Bight?” Luthen grunts, opting to stand by the doorway rather than a seat at your makeshift kitchen table.

You drop down unceremoniously with your arms at your sides. You know — and you know he knows — there is a blaster taped on the belly of the steel table should this be an unpleasant visit.

“You mean the Wookie holiday?”

“Hmm,” Luthen sounds, caught between a yes and a no. “Supposed to be the Wookie holiday, but it seems the Empire has allowed the casino a profitable chance to participate until the new year.”

“I’d expect nothing less,” you muse in return, surveying him. “When you say profitable, you mean—”

“Everyone who is anyone will be visiting.” Luthen never makes any sudden movements; always trapped sounding bored with this life he leads. It’s also a tactic not to play his cards too far from his chest. “They’ll be running the gambit for paid time off.”

Smile bland, you nod once. “Which is code for… you need someone on the inside.”

“For the season,” he agrees, shifting his weight. “A gift to the faces who may have missed you.”

“Missed me?”

“I hear about the Diamond quite a lot.”

Their precious Diamond.

Maker, that nickname always made your skin crawl.

You huff, rubbing your nose with the back of your thumb. “Flattery gets you nowhere with me, Luthen, you know that.”

He takes a pause, small eyes observing everything that you do. Updating a mental database logging your quirks and your discomfort to cipher for a later date — that’s all he’s ever done, study and download people, and he’s done so without error yet.

(It’s why he’s never been caught.)

“It isn’t flattery,” he finally says. “It’s an opportunity.”

To do everything we couldn’t the first time, is what he really implies.

It’s feeding an addiction no amount of dead fascists will be able to quench.

“And how do I tell them why I want the job back after I quit?”

“Your mother was very ill. You needed to help with her expenses,” Luthen fabricates from thin air. “It was easiest to part ways without the low note on your record. But the credits have dried up, and their clientele will be thankful of the casino’s decision to allow you back on the floor.”

It’s your turn to pause — to study. He gives away nothing. You lean forward to rest your elbows on the tops of your thighs.

“You think that’ll work?”

“You’ll sell it,” is all he gives back like you’ve already said yes.

You’re supposed to be out.

(Do you want to be out?)

.

.

.

.

.

No.

No, you don’t.

.

.

.

.

.

Getting the job back at the casino as a specialized escort is easy. The difficulty lies in remembering how to fall into old, subtle habits when all you want to do is cause chaos. Staying engaged while chatting up Imperial scum as they spittle in their expensive liquors and moan about the woes of their occupations and agenda can only go on for so long.

Yet you laugh with the rest of them once they’re kissing your feet and your hands, because everyone in this rebellion has a part to play.

(Our loveliest of diamonds, back to see us once again.)

Luthen, of course, never leaves you to your own devices for long. Gifting a hefty sum of credits and a bag of dissolvable sedatives every time he passes through Canto Bight as his alter ego is about as noble as the illusive man gets.

You fill small briefcases with voice memos and holovideos of nightly conversations, drunken manifestos and slippery plans.

It works.

By some miracle, you have never been caught.

New Year’s Eve is filled to the brim with Imperial guards enjoying time off from their grueling schedules. Some of the higher commanding officers already have their arms draped over people inviting them to a great time. Others chase after the debauchery promised by scantily clad creatures inviting them into the halls and out of their money.

You? Have a booking in advance: a high-ranking officer, but not within the Inner Circle.

According to Luther, he’s a valuable asset double-crossing their superiors.

A plant.

You are to deliver the intel to him under Luthen’s command and trust.

(Ironic. You always believed Luthen trusted no one.)

At the final half hour of the year’s end, you round the corner from the main entertainment room and down the hallway towards the private event spaces. A multitude of sounds are muffled by the doors — some good, some not so. Your focus is set on the twelfth door where your officer awaits, and suddenly you feel nervous all over again.

Meeting one of Luthen’s other operatives feels all too daunting.

After a moment, you place your code into the code box by the door and wait for the durasteel to slide, revealing the plush crimson meeting space. It's staged with a convenient king-sized bed and a vanity for refreshment, inviting comfort and suggesting the obvious.

What greets you as the door opens — a silhouette at the edge of the bed, dressed in Imperial formals — is not what you envisioned.

The man’s hair is what you notice first: disheveled brown locks are combed back neatly, smoothed by gel to keep the unruliness at bay. The jacket’s shoulders are a little too pointed, as if he’s not grown into his uniform quite yet — or like he’d stolen it on his way into the venue. The lines on his faces aren’t new, but aren’t old. He’s tired — so fucking tired, but he sits taller the second the door opens.

The blank expression on his face is purposeful, almost doe-eyed, with a feigned, smug-like innocence only an Imperial officer would wear.

Then his gaze travels from your open-toed shoes, up your bodysuit dress of sequins, and locks onto your face.

Just like that, the façade is broken.

What once was blank now hardens, wholly confused, before the lines on his prominent brow smooth with recognition.

Cassian.

Of all the idiots in all the galaxy, Cassian Andor is dressed as an Imp in your meeting space on the eve of the new year.

And you thought, with this rebellion, that you’d seen everything.

While the officer in disguise is much older than what your memory recalls, you could never forget that face even if the Empire tried. The feeling of dirt under your fingernails, the scent of rubber burning, the spark of an electric charge from a stolen piece of property — it all floods back in a tidal wave, almost knocking you a step back into the hallway.

On Ferrix, Cassian Andor always ran around with different people — sometimes it was Bix when she wasn’t punished for entertaining teen scoundrels; sometimes it was other boys in scrappy brawls and mended machinery; most of the time, however, it was you.

Hand and hand, causing mayhem in the bright suns and the full moons. He'd shown you what it meant to stand up for yourself. To want what you want and not apologize for it. To be bold, even at the expense of disruption.

And then he’d pummel whatever wayward eye looked at you the wrong way.

Trouble. 

Cassian Andor was so much trouble, and you were mad for it.

Your last memory of him is as vivid as the neon lights lining the ceiling: you're both sixteen years old and shoulder-to-shoulder on an inclined metal slab, staring up at the stars. He's wearing that jacket from his father and hasn't combed his hair in days. You're lost in telling him about your dreams of a better tomorrow, of one day leaving Ferrix for good and making a difference in the vastness of the galaxy despite how small you feel. He laughs, a hum more than anything else, and takes your hand in his.

You're too afraid to squeeze back.

Having Cassian poke fun of the idea of doing much of anything in the galaxy never felt like he mocked you for wanting to try. More than anything, his laugh was one of envy: he couldn’t afford dreams, so you dreamt for the both of you. He couldn’t handle intimacy, so you were satisfied with resting your hand in his the entire night.

Nothing was said. Nothing had changed.

He gave what he could, and you understood.

Childhood friendship has a funny way of feeling that simple.

Cassian, however, never truly chose to change with you. He never truly chose anyone, not really, not when he had so much to give — to his mother, to his scrapyard confidantes, to Bix.

You fit somewhere in the chapters of his life, but Cassian Andor could never tell you which ones. He could not, and would not, promise someone tomorrow.

An unfinished book.

You never did tell him where you were going after hitching a ride on that stock transport to get the hell out of Ferrix for good. Not a single holocard or a note.

Just… gone, into the galaxy, to dream.

Now he sits in front of you at the edge of your meeting space bed, threatening to ruin your calculated cover in one-fell swoop.

Before Cassian can implode your operation, you turn on the mask: with a bright smile and squared shoulders, you gesture to the plush furniture of the room. “Is it to your liking, Mr. —?”

You trail off on your question to give him a chance to speak.

Cassian blinks a few times, only to remember himself.

“Raoul,” he blurts without dismissing his accent, eyes widening with an unspoken question: what are you doing here? “Sargeant Murl Raoul.”

Maker, you haven’t heard that voice in so long.

It’s deeper now. Rusty. Scratched.

“Sargeant,” you correct pleasantly, taking a step into the bedroom to toe the perimeter. Cassian pulls the geometric gray hat clear from his head, balling it in his fist, but you raise a palm at the hip when his mouth opens: don’t.

He listens, pressing his lips together with purpose.

“I asked if this room was to your liking," you repeat.

Cassian struggles with an answer, studying you with concern. You hate it. You hated it back on Ferrix when he tried to play protector, and a decade and a half apart doesn’t dilute the emotion.

Your brows rise, and he clears his throat. “I— yes, I am quite comfortable.”

“Good,” you conclude with a small nod. “Now before I join you and get more comfortable, do you have any questions for me?”

“More comfortable?” he asks a little too fast, so you recover with a glide of your hand along your sparkling thigh.

“Can’t do much when I’m in this old thing,” you coo, that stage performer voice now sounding so phony to your ears with a known audience. “Shouldn’t take long.”

Cassian runs the tip of his tongue along the seam off his lips, shifting his seat on the mattress. “I suppose I could ask how… uh, how long have you been doing… this?”

You don’t know if he’s asking about the escort arrangement or the Informant position, which further complicates the game. The odds of Cassian showing up on Canto Bight should be slim. Cassian wearing an Imperial outfit on his own ought to be slim to none. 

But appearing in your private meeting space, fake alias and all?

Your blood runs cold with truth between the lines.

(Luthen never does anything by accident.)

This meeting — reuniting Cassian and yourself — is his test, a judgment call, but you refuse to let Luthen win the game with this surprise hand.

“Years,” you answer honestly, to both.

You continue to face him as you skirt around the left side of the sparkling vanity, not taking any chances with your former friend. Your manicured fingers glide along the mirror’s back, searching for the planted Imperial wire.

(Not only are they cruel, but perverted in their efforts to catch spies.)

“So then you are... experienced?” The question comes out rougher than you believe he intends. Gruff, like he’s embarrassed to even ask.

(The question almost — almost — makes your face burn.)

“If you’re worried that you won’t have a good time, Sergeant, then I promise they sent you to me for a reason. I’m going to take great care of you.”

Cassian’s expression darkens at this as he rises to his feet with purpose.

You rip the microphone from the back of the mirror, holding the device between your index and middle finger for show. 

This stops him from moving ahead, eyes locked on the microphone before flickering back to you. You shake your head.

I said don’t.

He nods once, and you take the microphone between your hands. With two clicks, the wire cover pops open, displaying a multitude of tiny wires. You fidget between two, pulling, until the red eye at the center of the device dissolves into black.

The room is blanketed with silence.

Now it’s just you and a ghost here.

“We’re clear,” you tell him after another beat, dropping the seductive aloofness in your tone.

Cassian’s shoulders drop a fraction of an inch. “That was fast.”

Your brow picks up that fraction, raising high. “You have to dismantle them fast."

“Let me take a look at it,” Cassian replies, tossing the hat twisted in his hands to the mattress. "Are you certain it's off?"

“Positive,” you say, sheltering the item closer to your chest. “You don't need to look at it. Easy to disable and reassemble at a moment’s notice, so I’ll turn it back on when you depart.”

“What about lost footage?”

“Chalk it up as faulty equipment they’re too stubborn to replace in a shithole like this.”

Cassian mulls over your answer, taking a cautious few steps forward to observe the small device in your hand. “Imperial-grade wires are tough to work with. A five-second warning doesn’t give many people time to disable the alarm,” he informs in a whispered afterthought. “Where did you learn to do that?”

In your bones, you know it’s a trick question.

Fifteen-something years of reuniting in a moment like this comes with immense drawbacks. When he asks, it is not out of curiosity — it is out of the desire to see if you are truly you.

(Because he remembers your face, too.)

“On Ferrix,” you reply.

He gives no reaction, continuing to deadpan. “Where on Ferrix?”

“You want me to remember from that long ago?” you laugh, placing the microphone on the vanity’s surface and following up with a thick blue cloth to drape over top of it.

“Humor me,” he reasons, flexing his leather-clad fingers at his sides. Now that he doesn’t have a distraction, Cassian doesn’t stop looking at your face.

(The same intensity as the boy without dreams.)

“The old Slavyard. There was that one incredibly rainy month when those prim and proper freaks—”

“—installed the spyware on the back door in the middle of the night,” he interrupts, finishing the story with a misplaced awe under his breath. “You played lookout while I disabled the devices.”

You don’t answer, not really, as you offer a half-hearted smile. “Say what you want about that place, but you learn a lot of things when you watch restless boys who never know when to stop getting in trouble.”

The return smile is small and fleeting, but the corner of Cassian’s lip upticks. His brows knit together, contemplating before a huff of a laugh exits. “Not a very good lookout, then, if you were so busy watching me.”

“You never got caught, though, did you?” you joke.

You swear he almost laughs.

The silence settles at your ankles and rises with each passing second, encompassing you both in a shroud of possibilities: pleasantries are nice, but the popping of bottles and shouts of celebration passing by your room brings you both back to a reality where you’re playing pretend.

Cassian huffs once more, running a hand down his face and around his neck before dropping it in a gesture towards you. “He cannot be serious.”

He.

You catch that pronoun with intrigue and tilt your chin.

“Serious about what? Who’s ‘he’?”

His voice softens, shrinking in size, as he nears half a step closer and into your bubble. “Don’t tell me it’s you.” You maintain eye contact — maintain dominance of this situation — and stay in place. “When he said to wait…”

“...for the Informer, you didn’t think you’d run into a ghost?” you finish, and he’s polite enough not to nod. “He only told me the person he was sending in his stead was one of his best assets. This reunion isn’t my doing.”

“No,” Cassian agrees, low and certain. “It isn’t.”

Because Luthen knows.

Luthen knows, and that’s dangerous in and of itself: his little lamb on Ferrix knew his most trusted asset long before the mastermind was in the picture, and this sabotage is meant to figure you out.

(To figure you both out for his own gain: to make sure you were both up for the task, history aside.)

Your jaw clenches as you nod with assertion, mindful of the train of your body-tight dress when you shift around Cassian to create some space. He turns his torso, following.

“Did he force you to do this?” When you pause in your steps to quirk a brow, he struggles with verbalizing what this means. “Entertaining these low lives while they piss their credits away.”

“Very strong words for someone dressed as an Imp.”

He completely ignores you, hyper in his budding rage. “Because if anyone has touched you—”

“No one’s forcing me to do anything, Cass,” you reply, hateful that the former nickname leaves your lips so fluidly; as if no time has passed. “We’re all cogs working for the same machine.”

“That doesn’t mean he should be having you do this on your own,” the man argues. “He’s not even on the planet, for fuck’s sake. This is dangerous work.”

“You keep saying this or that, but you’re not really asking the real question.” Your nose scrunches, maliciously playful. “I don’t fuck them. It’s pretend, Cassian. My honor is intact.”

Cassian squints with a scoff. “That isn’t what I meant—”

“It isn’t?” you challenge.

“No,” he responds just as fast and just as intense. A smirk plays on your lips, slow and growing. “Fuck whoever you’d like to fuck. One or a dozen, I don’t care, but not them. They don’t deserve you.”

“And who does?”

“I don’t know, but not Luthen or the pieces of shit out there or anyone on this planet.”

“Not even you, right?”

He stares down at you, hard. You snort in disbelief.

“I never thought I’d see the day where Cassian Andor is jealous of a body count, but I guess stranger things have happened for both of us.”

Cassian’s jaw sets, nostrils flaring with an anger he refuses to bury completely. He searches your face, lost on a response, before sharply inhaling through his nose.

“I need information on your regulars.”

Ah.

No more games. 

You roll your eyes, absently waving him off as you turn to walk towards the crate-like nightstand. “I have the files on a drive.”

No more games, or so you thought — Cassian follows close behind. “Drives are easily corruptible or lost or stolen. You could just tell me.”

Your hand hovers on the drawer when you turn your chin to look at him. “Yeah, sure, let me just… tell you about a mission I’ve spent years finessing so you can get the details wrong when you relay with Luthen.”

“Do you think so little of my memory skills?” he says and it’s a joke, but it teeters on the edge of an argument.

Just like old times.

You don’t need this type of deja vu before the new year.

“Whisper down the lane only goes so far,” you answer, turning back to the drawer in front of you. Your hand lifts the edge of the bottom plate, removing a small box from the center of the hidden compartment.

You only pause when you feel his presence right behind you as soft puffs of air tickle the back of your exposed neck.

He says nothing, not at first, in this proximity. Then a syllable sounds:

“Why?”

The question is a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it whisper. His voice flutters along your skin, causing a shiver down your spine. Deep down you know he’s not asking about the drive or your distaste for his preferred method of relay. Why — the one word you hoped to never face.

If you concentrate hard enough, you can smell the scent of his cologne.

It smells nothing like Cassian.

You stay focused on a miniscule dot on the wall, too afraid to turn around.

“We can’t do this here,” you murmur, barely audible in return.

“I paid for the hour,” he replies. “If I were to leave ten minutes into your company, then there would be questions.”

(He’s right. As much as you hate it, your former friend is right.)

You raise your chin to the ceiling, closing your eyes. Contemplating. Seeking anything, everything, to say to avoid what’s to come.

You open your mouth to speak, but Cassian gets there first.

“I looked for you.” A vulnerable statement from an impenetrable man. His chin leans forward, the warmth of him spreading to your aura. “In dozens of quadrants—”

“Cassian.”

“—and about a hundred planets—”

“Stop.”

“—but you left nothing.” The final word emphasizes with raw emotion, causing your throat to swell. His gloved hand rests on your tricep, but you turn to finally face him. The closeness of him is a surprise — piercing brown eyes meet yours with mere centimeters between noses. “No note, no goodbye, no telling where you might have headed. Nothing.”

Frowning, you don’t realize that you’re shaking your head. The lines on his face are too distracting. He is distracting.

“You were never supposed to see me again.”

“And I never understood why.” He steps forward. You step back. When you think he won’t advance, he continues to step once, twice, until the third lands your back to the corner of the room. “So I am asking — now — while I can still have you: why?”

While I can still have you. You know the implication isn’t there, not truly, but your heart aches for it. The tension makes you feel so small, as if you’re eighteen and flying all over again.

You’re supposed to be over this; over him.

“I had to start new,” you answer after a considerable pause, forcing yourself to look him in the eye in what little space is held between you. “I was always going to leave Ferrix.”

“I knew that,” he argues softly. “I was never going to deter you from—”

“No. No, you were never going to,” you agree, nodding. “But you were always off and on the planet, doing what you had to for everyone else. If I didn’t cut Ferrix out of my life, then I wonder if I would have had the same fate as my parents or my friends: getting stuck there. And not just getting stuck, but waiting.”

“Waiting?” Cassian asks with confusion, brows knit.

You relax against the wall with a humorless laugh. “How did you not see it? The way I always waited for you.” Anxious, you turn your cheek to check the main door as you mull over your next few words. “I would have waited my whole life for you.”

The air in the room shifts.

Although he remains in your peripheral vision, the man stays staring at you without a discernible expression. The gravity of what you’re admitting drags lower, lower, until he says something that forces you to look at him head-on:

“I thought you were indifferent to me.”

Your eyes widen. “Indifferent?”

Cassian nods, short and quick. “You had all these big plans. I listened for hours. Not one of them involved me.”

“Because I didn’t think you’d want to be a part of those plans.”

“Maybe I didn’t think I couldn’t make a difference, not in a… rebellion, though the irony is not lost on me now,” he admits with a huff of a laugh, “but I wanted to be a part of you. I didn’t care what it was, so long as I still had you.”

You stare at him as he stares back at you, totally dumbfounded with this brand new information. Cassian swallows thickly, shifting his weight yet again from one leg to another. The loud party continues outside of your room, drowning these confessions in the excitement for a nearing midnight.

You had all these big plans.

Memories warp at a second’s notice as your brain tries to understand what he’s laid at your altar.

Not one of them involved me.

He shouldn’t be saying this.

He shouldn’t be saying any of this.

Closing your eyes to find a pause in your racing thoughts, you try — try to find where perhaps this is fabricated, designed to see if you’re easily swayed by the past that you so desperately let die in this rebellion.

Slowly, your eyelids flutter open. Cassian is watching with something close to concern.

(Something, maybe, closer to fear.)

You gently shake your head. “This is a test.” 

“I know.” 

“Luthen did this—” 

“Fuck Luthen,” he breathes out, eyes dropping to stare at your lips, and your heartbeat quickens. 

His brows meet in the middle, concentrated yet lost — as if he’s back on Ferrix, scrawny and scrappy and calculating the gravity of the risk should he decide to steal or trespass —

Or do something he wasn’t supposed to. 

“Cassian.” 

Your voice is gentle with a warning. His eyes do not raise, but he does answer.

“What?”

“You have that look on your face.” 

“I have a look?”

“When you’re contemplating doing something stupid? Yes.”

He snorts, amused. “You remember what that looks like after fifteen years?”

“It's very hard to forget it.” 

He mulls the moment over, flickering his attention back up to your eyes and nodding.

“You’re right. I am thinking of doing something stupid.”

“How stupid?”

“Incredibly.”

A beat passes.

Finally he blinks up to your eyes, searching for an answer to a question he hasn’t asked yet. You wait, just as you’ve always waited, to hear his voice.

“It’s almost midnight,” he says, flexing the leather gloved hand at his side. “I should go.”

Everything sinks.

The crowd outside grows louder as people depart from their private rooms to celebrate in the middle of the casino. Everyone begins the unison countdown of the final minute until the new year rings out.

The device in your hand grows heavy — a reminder of why he’s here in the first place, what Luthen will be looking for, yet your arm cannot rise to give it over.

(A few more minutes and he’ll be gone.)

To find a reason to keep him here with you would be selfish.

Instead of protesting, you nod. 

“Yeah. You should go.”

He nods, too, and his throat bobs with a swallow.

Outside your door, their laughter and shouts reach a collective ten, nine, eight, seven…

Yet he doesn’t move. 

Neither do you.

Six, five, four, three…

“Cass?”

Two.

Cassian speaks with broken finality, rushed and wanting. “I can't go without—”

You beat him to it.

Canto Bight’s cliffside casino roars with excitement of the new year while you grab the lapel of his Imperial uniform, dragging him in as he simultaneously launches his lips to yours.

The force of him smacks your head into the wall, but the stars behind your eyes aren’t from impact. It’s from the way he presses his mouth to yours, desperate to pour years of frustration and wonder into a long-awaited kiss. You whimper into it, eager to dissolve any space between you.

Cassian Andor cages your head into the palms of his gloved hands, holding you with a tenderness and strength only he can have. He groans into your mouth when he tastes you, tongue dragging along your lower lip — the neediness of it is enough to make your knees give out.

Except he drops his hands to your shoulders and spins you, pressing your chest into the wall. Using your hands to balance yourself, Cassian wastes not a second more to place his hands over yours, pinning you in place.

“We should have — opened with a fight,” he murmurs breathlessly into your ear, kissing your earlobe before bringing it into his mouth. 

You bite back a moan, dropping your forehead to the wall. “If I'd known you wanted to kiss me after all this time, Cass, then I would have — gone straight past a fight and went for it.”

He chuckles behind you, letting go of your earlobe to travel kisses down the side of your neck.

“There is a lot I wanted to do back then, but I was too chickenshit to try it.”

The imagery of a lot burns into the back of your skull.

“And now?” you ask, but it’s wavered.

Cassian slows down, but his lips remain against the crook of your neck. You mourn the loss of speed, pushing your hips back to connect with his.

A hand shoots down to still your waist as his thumb runs soothing strokes into the skintight dress.

“Not here,” he decides, but it isn’t regretful. It’s determined. “When I see you again—”

“When?” you interrupt.

“When,” he enforces, squeezing your waist, “I see you again, I’ll do what I’ve been too chickenshit to do and it won’t be under a watchful eye.”

When I see you again.

You smile small, delirious in the haze of him.

“Is that a promise?”

“As good as I can make one,” he responds in earnest, turning to leave a small kiss on your cheek. “You’re not losing me so easily this time.”

And you believe him.

Misunderstandings, miscommunications — all of that hardship to end up here, of all places.

You have so much to learn.

(He has so much to hear.)

Even if this was Luthen’s doing, even if this was a test of faith, you cannot find a reason to care. Not when your lips still tingle with the kiss you’d only dreamt about your entire life.

Reaching for his arm, you gently bring his free hand to yours and place the small drive in the middle of his palm. Cassian’s chin drops to observe the tiny metal, jaw setting to its unreadable clench.

Because at the end of the night, you both still have jobs to do.

A new year.

(A new horizon.)

“Until next time,” you say, removing your hand from his.

Cassian curls his fingers over the drive, shoving the small device in his coat pocket. He flexes and raises his hand to bring it up to your cheek, cradling your face once more as he leans in for one final kiss. This time it’s softer. Timid.

The closest Cassian Andor can ever get to a promise.

He pulls away, nose to nose, and mirrors in reply.

“Until next time.”

[windwheeler-aster]

i’m not a monster

summary: although your university has given students two weeks off for the holidays, you’re still stuck in the library studying for the upcoming exam season. although, you seem to have lost focus and fell asleep on top of your textbooks... luckily for you, your long-term rival dottore is here to help

masterlist | advent calendar

pairing: dottore x reader

reader info: uses gender neutral pronouns (they/them), reader is a student and rival of dottore’s, and reader is not traveler

word count: 491 words (2 mins~)

genre: romance, enemies to more, modern AU

format: one shot

warnings: not proofread thoroughly 

a/n: ghghghg, i’m going to need to revisit this idea/concept with dottore (and other characters?!?!) in the future... but i hope y’all enjoy this💖

The holiday break was for students and staff to take a break from studies and spend time with their loved ones. Although, many students didn’t spend the break exactly like that. Some hosted huge parties in their parents’ house while they were on holiday. Others— like yourself— spent the whole two weeks panicking and studying for the upcoming exam season. And, for those like yourself who bit more than they could chew, they had rarely any time to relax.

Which is exactly why you had holed yourself up in your university’s library for a few days. You were strict with yourself while studying, too. Coffee and your textbooks were the only thing you could rely on, it seemed. Though, it was only inevitable that you would come down from your coffee-fueled ambitious high. You just wish you hadn’t crashed so hard while you were reviewing your textbooks for the nth teen time that day.

But, luckily, Dottore had just turned the corner in search of a book to satiate his own curiosity when he saw you, slumped over your textbooks.

Admittedly, he did chuckle at your pathetic state. Half of your face was squished down, adorably so, while you slept on the pages. He did cringe as he saw a small amount of drool leave your parted mouth. And the academic in him stiffened when Dottore noticed how you were wrinkling the paper in this position. So, really, he had no choice but to put you in a more comfortable position. For both you and the book.

Just like he had no choice but to make you lay down, head in his lap. And he certainly had no choice but to put his coat over you once he saw you shiver. Though, Dottore can’t really explain the soft smile that spread across his features when he caught a glimpse at the peaceful look on your face. They’re too cute to resist smiling, he reassured himself, anyone who doesn’t smile at that is ridiculous. Obviously.

Dottore looked over at your notes and sighed wistfully. He examined your handwriting, and smiled at the small details in it that made it uniquely yours. Some of the notes you wrote on the margins of your work earned a chuckle out of Dottore, too. 

“Oh, if only you didn’t have such a bad impression of me,” Dottore murmured, slightly wincing as he recalled your first meeting.

Rumors of his questionable ethics and dubious morals had spread around the university, and you joined everyone else in their superstitions. However, the only thing that separated you from the rest of the sheep was your brilliant mind.

“We could have been friends,” he mumbled. Dottore sucked in a harsh brush as he took in your face fully. “Or maybe something more…?”

Dottore looked at the time on his watch and concluded that maybe— just maybe— he’d need a nap too. 

Even if it is next to his so-called “enemy”.

taglist:

@x-zho @cxlrosii @i23kazu @tiredsleep @ireallylikehamsters​

(send an ask to be added or removed)

thank you for reading 💖 all forms of interaction to my posts are appreciated 💖

[soulrph]

hi my darlings! i wanted to write this post up before i missed my opportunity, so here we go!

over the festive period, and with the vast range of various religious holidays and dedicated periods of religious observations, in addition to exam season, work periods becoming much less predictable, families coming together and preparations for upcoming traditions, i wanted to be exceptionally clear about something:

you are not obligated to be on the dash 24/7!!!!

i've been guilty, in the past, of putting my mental welfare last in my list of priorities. in my family, we celebrate christmas, and it's usually a fun time of year, but lately i've been so frantic in my efforts to empty my inbox and answer all my drafts that in recent years i've stopped enjoying the season. this is not a habit or lifestyle that i encourage! the period is stressful on its own! nobody is expecting you to respond to threads or memes reliably right now! and if they are, guess what? that's THEIR problem!

please look after yourselves. i know i made this post a little late, i had wanted to make it back in november, but it's okay! i'm writing it now, and i'm hoping y'all read it and enjoy a restful and peaceful festive season! don't put pressure on yourself to be on the dash 24/7! don't apologize for not being here! this is a hobby, something you do in your free time to relax and unwind! it is not a job, and you don't owe anyone here your time and energy!

much love and fond wishes!

- blue.