#wish we knew more about ahsoka as a jedi

[jewishcissiekj]

Oh waitttttt I love Medstar

[darthgloris]

2AM THOUGHTS #5: Ahsoka snitching on Anakin to Y/N about his crush on her

Ahsoka looked over her shoulder and rolled her eyes with a small smile.

"What?" Y/N asked.

"My Master." She replied simply.

"What about him?" She wondered, looking back. She saw Anakin already staring at her with a charming smile. As soon as she met his eyes, she smiled back and offered him a small wave, which he returned gladly. She giggled at the thought of having his attention and turned around, returning to her conversation with the Padawan.

"That." Ahsoka deadpanned.

"Oh, come on, he's just being sweet." She dismissed with a wave.

"Is he?" She asked rhetorically. "You think he's sweet, you should hear the way he talks about you."

"What? What does he say?" Y/N wondered.

"Ugh, you have no idea! Do you know how many mornings I've spent listening to him whining over you and going 'she's such an angel, I don't know what we did to deserve her', 'I wish I could spoil her with everything she ever wanted', 'I'd leave the Jedi Order in a heartbeat if she asked', 'Maker, she's so intelligent, she makes everyone here look like a dog'-"

"Wait, wait, what?" She interrupted. "Anakin said he'd leave the Order for me?"

"He did. You turn him into mush just by existing," she confirmed. "He wants you so badly that if you complimented him, he'd die."

The realization of what she meant to him was a bit overwhelming, yes, but it made her happy. The happiest she had ever been. "That's... wow."

"What are you going to do about it?" Ahsoka asked.

"I... I don't know, I mean... he's amazing. He really, really is." She sighed, sitting on a rock.

"Do you like him?" The Padawan pushed, although she knew the answer as clearly as anyone with eyes.

"Of course I do, who wouldn't? I mean, he's sweet and kind and gentle, he's handsome, he's smart, he makes me laugh, and- oh."

Ahsoka raised an eyebrow, amused. "Gotcha."

"All right, then, I'm going to spend time with him more often." Y/N concluded.

"Starting now. Go." Ahsoka said and gave her a little push to where her Master was working.

Y/N walked closer to Anakin, who smiled brightly when he caught sight of her. "Hi."

"Hi," she replied, chuckling softly to herself. "What you doing?"

"Oh, just fixing this speeder. It got hit pretty bad during the battle." He sighed, hands on his hips as he examined his work from afar.

"How'd you fix it?" She asked, smiling fondly as she scooted closer to him.

"It's just boring stuff, you don't want to hear about it." He dismissed.

"No, tell me. I'm curious, I want to know." She smiled, resting her chin on his metal armour to peer at the ship. Through the Force, she could feel the butterflies erupting in his stomach. He loved when she took an interest in him and she knew it. Meanwhile, she felt sparks running through her body at the feeling of his toned muscles on her skin.

He let out a breathy chuckle before beginning his engineering rant. Her heart swelled with cuteness overload as he explained every step and every detail to her, and he looked so happy while doing it, as if one of his recurring daydreams had finally come true.

She wrapped her arms around his middle from the back, briefly nuzzling into his neck before turning her attention back to the ship. Her heart skipped a beat as she felt the muscles of his abdomen through his robes. Anakin froze as he felt her touch engulf him.

"Y/N..?" He hesitated.

"Yeah?" She asked, hoping he wouldn't make her pull away.

"Are you on death sticks?"

"No, Ani." She laughed, nuzzling her nose into the short curls on the back of his neck while she smiled.

"Well, then, um..." he hesitated. "...could you do this more often?"

"Aw, of course." She smiled as he melted into her embrace. He rested his hands on hers and continued explaining the final steps, every once in a while looking back to see her face.

When he finished, he was smiling like a happy child, finally getting the love and care he needed. They were both blushing furiously and smiling like idiots.

Ahsoka watched from afar with a smirk on her face, proud of her newfound matchmaking skills. Her heart burst with happiness as she saw Anakin press a kiss to Y/N's forehead, looking down at her as if she were his whole world.

Finally, the pining was over.

[squidthoughts]

why doesn't shin leave?

that's the question, right? there are secondary ones, of course – why didn't she kill sabine/was she sandbagging their duel/did she intentionally perform a nonfatal stabbing/was she sent there to interact with sabine at all, or just for the map.... but really, my question at the end of ep1 was:

why is she waiting here at all?

"we've been looking for this," shin says, and that's what, an accusation? conversation-starter? she's here to talk? maybe, okay – except she's actively thieving, so what can she be expecting by sticking around but a fight? so she secures the map and she waits for sabine. to fight her. but the question is still why and in my unqualified opinion i think the answer is found back here:

"ahsoka tano's former apprentice is on lothal."

what do we know about baylan? he was a jedi, once. he witnessed the purge of his order and adapted to a life of survival – he maintains certain jedi traditions, he passes these traditions to his padawan: the braid, the traditional construction of the lightsaber, if not the crystal inside (standing mystery, though). he is nostalgic but not melancholy, connected perhaps to the more elegant and noble history of the jedi but evidently strongly opposed to assuming that title at present.

what do we know about shin? well...almost nothing. except that when baylan speaks, shin listens. she obeys unquestioningly. when morgan speaks, shin watches baylan. they are close; there is mutual trust, though clearly more dependency on shin's side. and she is likely – though not certainly – born after order 66.

i'm confident answers will be forthcoming about shin's past, but in the meantime, working with the (very!!) little we have, assuming the subtle intricacies of the shot direction and ivanna's acting are all intentional, and with the full disclaimer that im brainrotty for wolfwren......i want to answer my original question.

shin has never seen another apprentice before. beyond baylan and inquisitors (apparently), she has probably never seen another lightsaber-wielder before. and yet – her master, while scorning the label of jedi, is steeped in jedi history. he seems to be training her according to some traditional jedi principles (though...what with the mass-murder and the mercenary work, of course we don't yet know the extent of those principles), and it would follow that he would have imparted the history of the jedi as well.

baylan skoll is not a jedi. but ahsoka tano is. or, was. but the antagonist squad refers to her as a jedi, so from shin's perspective it's not just "ahsoka tano's apprentice" on lothal. she is being told there is a real, live jedi apprentice on lothal.

and the jedi are extinct.

we're into the rampant speculation part of the meta now, because what is shin thinking in this moment?

there's a green lightsaber before her – a jedi apprentice before her – or at least the former-apprentice-of-a-jedi, but shin is the apprentice-of-a-former-jedi, and at some point the semantics get in the way of the exhilaration. this is probably (again, this whole thing could get disproven in the next episode or something) the first lightsaber battle shin has ever had with someone who might actually kill her. (i assume baylan wouldn't engage in prolicide while sparring.)

this is, i think, shin at her most excited. on the one hand – it's another apprentice! it's another member of an order (her order??) that was supposed to be wiped out! this is proof of concept maybe, that shin isn't so alone! and on the other hand – this is a test, no? like, the first real test of shin's full abilities, assuming she's never dueled before? again, i wish we knew more about her motivations, but it stands to reason a padawan that powerful and devoted would constantly be looking for ways to both prove and improve herself, right?

and then. sabine. sucks.

she's sloppy and weak and doesn't use the force. she's untrained and undisciplined and slow and gets tired too quickly.

shin starts blocking with one hand. she starts sidestepping sabine's wild swings. there's no way she's is trying to kill her at this point; shin is playing with her food.

i just...think she's disappointed?? like, she was probably expecting so much more from a proper jedi's apprentice, and i think we'd need more information about her to extrapolate what exactly she wants in this scene, but i'd be willing to bet it wasn't this sub-par, former-apprentice bitch-ass fight. (love to sabine but like. she did get her clock cleaned. obviously.)

regardless, i am excited to see how this experience influences the forestfight™ we know is on the way...and also if sabine, like, feels...anything....about being skewered like a county fair corn dog?? i mean trauma or anger or fear or drive or?? bc we know shin wasn't actually trying to kill her, (this is my official stance and im sticking to it) but sabine sure doesn't!!

[autumnwoodsdreamer]

I'm so intrigued by the Din x Sabine ship, please tell me everything about them. How did you land on this, and why is it actually a vibe?

Someone actually asking me about my favourite rare pair??!? Is this real life?!

Alright, essay incoming.

First up: some context.

I started watching The Mandalorian while season 2 was airing (so circa late 2020). Fell hard in love with Mandalorians and had to go digging through the wiki for direction to what other Star Wars media featured the loveable tin cans (because I knew the movies centred around the Jedi but there were plenty of cartoons and comics to check out).

I was bummed there was no other material with Din Djarin (somehow I missed the memo he was a character created solely for the SW live action show debut). But as my sister and I were going through the wiki and unearthing all the gems about Mandalorians (like their own super-cool language, their long history with Jedi, and their various factions), we came to the stuff about the Darksaber (which we had only just seen in the finale when Din won it from Gideon). We thought, oh cool! It shows up in some other stuff, like the Clone Wars and that other colourful Star Wars cartoon we used to see ads for on Disney Channel!

Diving down that rabbit hole, the name Sabine Wren kept coming up. Like, a lot. Go to her page and it’s like a full-length novel—apparently, she’s had more screentime than Din. Skimming through her story—Imperial cadet, made a devastating weapon that actually targeted beskar, left and joined the rebellion, found the Darksaber and trained with it, last seen leaving to go find Ezra (wait, who’s Ezra?)—got me so intrigued.

(Also around this time started seeing some fanart of Din meeting Sabine, which was so cute and funny because she’s this walking rainbow and he’s greyscale incarnate but still didn’t know much about her character. And because we had finished The Mandalorian series, I dove into the fics and came across this Mando/Rebels crossover by DistantStorm which was my first real introduction to the Ghost Crew. Sabine wasn’t much in it, however, it was more focussed on Din and Grogu teaming up with Hera and Jacen.)

We figured out the timeline and started with the Clone Wars episodes about the Mandalorians and the Darksaber. There were not enough, in my opinion, but we learned the Darksaber is a Big DealTM (and that Clone Wars is… much darker than The Mandalorian), and then went into the Rebels series.

We. Were. Hooked.

We came for Sabine and the Mandalorians, we stayed for the Ghost Crew and Lothal. The story was just so wonderful and we fell in love with the whole crew (Ezra is my sister’s favourite).

Figured out pretty quickly that, besides Kanan and Hera, Sabine and Ezra were the biggest main ship of the series. I liked it, too; my interpretation was that they weren’t quite romantically involved by the end of the series, but that it would most likely pick up and go there once they reunited.

While we were still watching Rebels, I started writing a little fix-it fic for The Mandalorian (I didn’t want Grogu to go with Luke, I didn’t even want the Skywalker nonsense to touch the series, so I dialled it back to them meeting Ahsoka and everything going pretty much the same except she doesn’t send them to Tython but, rather, speaks on Grogu’s behalf and lets Din know that he wishes to stay with him).

It… got a little out of hand…

What was meant to be a short story ending with Din adopting Grogu, spiralled into a longer story because I couldn’t ignore the fact that they would still have that tracker on the Razor Crest and Gideon would still be after them. I was also now quite enamoured with the Darksaber lore and I still wanted Din to get it, so I wrote on, not quite yet sure where to go.

Then I thought, hey, Rebels ends a very neat decade before The Mandalorian’s beginning. We don’t have anything more about that story, but we saw Sabine leaving with Ahsoka to go find Ezra. And everyone seems to believe Ahsoka was trying to find clues to lead her to Ezra in The Mandalorian, so what if…?

Long story short, I ended up writing a crossover because I wanted Din and Grogu’s story to continue and I wanted the Ghost Crew to find Ezra.

Sabine was twenty at the end of Rebels, so by now she’s thirty. We saw her hanging around that comm tower on Lothal in the Rebels epilogue, so maybe she lives there now? Would make sense. And Din was asking around for a Mandalorian at the start of season 2, and he hadn’t yet found his way to his tribe, so maybe he’d go back to that quest now that he’s adopted Grogu and no longer looking for a Jedi. What if someone points him to the resident Mandalorian on Lothal?

From there, it kinda just took off on its own.

And here’s the thing: Din and Sabine are very different, but they’re also very similar.

Their backgrounds, their personalities and goals are different on the surface and in some points, but underneath that, they’re strikingly similar.

Din is a foundling and Sabine is Mandalorian by blood. His tribe is very strict about how they wear the armour, hers is not. But they both hold fast to and cherish their Mandalorian heritage. They’re both raised as capable, creative fighters. Din values his armour highly, as does Sabine; Din cares deeply for the tribe, Sabine cares deeply for her clan; Din works hard for and protects the covert, Sabine strives to do what’s best for Mandalore.

They are both introverted characters, though it may not seem so at first as Sabine can be very expressive and easygoing while Din is notably quiet, reserved, and is rather economical with his speech. But Sabine tends to keep to herself (as Ezra points out, she often goes off to her room to be alone and even eats alone aboard the Ghost). Din, too, is quite solitary, both by nature and design—he seems a separate entity from the tribe, though he is undeniably a part of them, and while he does make a number of friends throughout his adventures, he always maintains a distance that’s not strictly due to his helmet rule.

They are both extremely family-oriented. In Din’s case, we see this specifically with his relationship with Grogu and in the Sanctuary episode where we see that, while he doesn’t feel he can have it, he does long for a peaceful family life; with Sabine, we see it in her relationships with the Ghost Crew and her regard for her Mandalorian family. (Most notably, Sabine, in the very first episode of Rebels, describes the Spectres as a family; she’s also the first one to join Ezra on his mission to rescue Kanan; she’s out for blood when Hera gets hurt.)

The Darksaber gives us some of the most fascinating insights into their respective characters. Both of them struggle with wielding it at first despite being capable warriors, neither of them seek the throne attached to it (even though they would both be the best rulers given the leadership qualities they refine in their respective stories and their ability to bring people—even enemies—together), and, dang it, they both looked so cool with it.

In writing them and their interactions, I quickly found they mesh well.

One of the biggest things about Din’s story is that he learns there are other kinds of Mandalorians and he struggles to accept that fact. A notable point in Sabine’s story is her bringing the Mandalorians together. She would be respectful of his beliefs and that would disarm him as his vast experience in the galaxy has been people mocking him (even, unfortunately, some of those other Mandalorians he meets). Her respect would earn his respect and he would be more inclined to speak with and help her. Having lived with and trained with not one but two of the best ever Jedi, Sabine could provide helpful tips about Grogu and, while not a Jedi herself, could probably share some of what she learned.

And, being as they would meet in a post-Purge time, I imagine Din and Sabine would be a great comfort to each other. They both lost much in the Purge, but Sabine, I dare say, lost the most (even before the Ahsoka show confirmed it, I figured the Wren Clan hadn’t made it; Din, in a way, was spared such heartache because he was already alone).

I have seen some say Din wouldn’t like Sabine’s painting every surface in sight (including her hair) but while he may not wear much colour himself, he never once voices any kind of aversion to artistic expression. He is the way he is largely by necessity: work is getting harder and harder to come by and paying less, he can barely keep his ship running; he can’t spare credits that the tribe desperately needs on paint. But his old armour was red, and there’s a high chance he chose that colour himself (both as red was the colour his birth family was wearing when last he saw them and red means honouring parents in Mandalorian culture). He might think Sabine is unwise to wear such bright colour because it will interfere with keeping a low profile, but he wouldn’t necessarily find it distasteful, and all the symbols she paints and wears he would approve of—they’re her signets, after all.

The more I wrote, the more I saw potential for a ship.

Because—and this is the important part—I did not start out with that intention. I just thought it would be cool for them to meet and interact (and I didn’t think canon was ever gonna give it to us).

Like I said, I figured Sabine and Ezra would ultimately end up together. But, because I didn’t read it as they were romantically involved by the time of their separation, Sabine would be looking to reunite with a friend and someone she sees as family, not a lover. That’s a key point.

And while I don’t believe everyone absolutely needs to be paired off or everyone needs a romance, I did think Din, ultimately, could do well with a partner.

He and Omera (the widow on Sorgan) clearly had an attraction that was not one-sided, he admitted a life in the village was something he wanted, and he never denied Cara’s insinuations that he liked the idea of settling down with Omera. But the thing about the Din and Omera pairing is that it is meant to be a little doomed: to stay, he would have to give up the armour because the village is peaceful and to keep it would always keep him a little separate from the ; but for Omera to go with him would be to uproot her and her daughter from their peaceful life and plunge them into his dangerous world—while Omera could handle it (it seems she must’ve lived somewhere other than Sorgan because why else would she be the only one in the village who knew how to use firearms?) Winta has only known Sorgan and she’s a very gentle soul. So either option would mean a great sacrifice, and I’m not saying it can’t work, but it would be tragic, either way.

But with Sabine, Din would never be asked to compromise as she would respect his ways; at the same time, seeing a Mandalorian with a different view of the armour while still being honourable might help to soften Din and open his perspective (not to the point he gives up his helmet rule because of her, but rather, should it happen, he wouldn’t view removing the helmet as such a crime).

Sabine is also a very mature character, right from her introduction in Rebels, and a quiet, more reflective partner like Din would suit her very well.

Mandalorian stuff aside, Din would be the quiet, grounding strength a battered, post-war Sabine could use and Sabine would be the passion and colour that would bring some life back to the utilitarian life Din has fallen into.

So, yeah.

Too long; didn’t read: Din and Sabine are very different, but very much the same where it counts, and those differences and similarities would work really well together.

And I just think they’re neat.

[graylinesspam]

Rex and Ahsoka

Training / playing / watching movies / cuddling / literally anything I just love them you honor

It might not have seemed like such a pressing issue on the front lines. Ahsoka had already been taught to fly a fighter and how to drive a speeder bike. Both more common means of transportation on the war front. But learning to drive a regular old speeder was still a necessary skill, and a right of passage for someone her age.

She should be getting her license sometime soon. The jedi usually earned theirs a little earlier than the general public did. But there wasn't exactly a plethora of speeders on the front.

So their somewhat extended stay on a real military base. The kind with permanent barracks and a real mess hall and working equipment, much nicer than their usual mobile camps, came with an opportunity that Ahsoka was not about to pass up.

And as usual when it came to matters of training Ahsoka Rex got volunteered by his General. Anakin certainly didn't have the patience to watch Ahsoka be bad at driving without reaching over and trying to take the controls from her. And after the fiasco that was Fives teacher her to drive a speeder bike, a matter that ended in her hitting a downed tree and flying ass over end. Rex was the only one qualified to train her, aperently.

She'd picked out a little transport truck, single cab, passenger seating in the bed. Nothing too hard to hover around the base. Sturdy enough to take a beating and safe enough that she shouldn't be able to tumble out of it.

For the month or so that they're predicted to be here, Ahsoka has been assigned as his driver. Taking him everywhere he needs to go. Runing arrends. Even volunteering to haul men around anywhere they need to go.

It wasn't so bad in the beginning. She'd clutched the wheel too hard and veered into oncoming traffic a couple times but at a slow speed. He'd barely been clutching onto his seat then. She was always a fast learner. Eager too. By the time she'd been able to get from one side of the base to the other without incident she'd started volunteering to take anyone where they needed to go. Running data pads back and forth. Picking the medics up at the end of their shifts. Driving groups to the training ground. Even making supply runs to the warehouses.

There wasn't much else for her to do at the time.

It was around a week in to her volunteer service that she started getting....confident. She wasn't a reckless driver exactly. She stopped at every crosslanes. Kept her eyes on the lanes and other traffic. Never hit anything. Or anyone. She just got comfortable traversing the same roads all the time. She knew them well enough that she knew exactly where to put her speed. Where to swing into a turn and where to coast down a hill.

Getting into the speeder with her now was what he imagined a typical teen driving experience was.

They had a meeting over the comm table in the main building first thing in the morning. Him and most of Torrents leadership. Which really meant Ahsoka's main Vod.

She'd pulled up five minutes early, Swung by the caf machine and whipped up some foamy shaken monstrosity, and sipped at it while they kit up.

They all piled into the back, pulling the canvas divider back so the men could lean into the cab and badger them. No one fought Rex for the front seat. He wishes they would. Give him an excuse to sit in the back.

Fives sat right behind him leaning over the divider to nudge him as Ahsoka started it up. "Should we strap in?" Fives joked, smacking the back of his hand against Rex's back.

Ahsoka cocked her head not bothering to look at him while she hooked her personal data pad into the sound system. The music kicked on with the engine. A syrupy sweet lady singer with too much base in the background for first thing in the morning.

Rex catches the glance jesse throws to the front of the speeder. Looking like he was considering bailing.

"She'll do fine." Echo knocked his leg into Fives' admonishment.

She shifts into gear and eases into the empty lane just fine. The base was quiet at this time. Only a couple vehicles moving in the whole place. She kicks up the speed in the straightway. Still following the posted rules. Tapping her fingers along the wheel to the beat of the music. She sips at her drink with one hand as they get to the hill, slowing to a reasonable speed before she lets the vehicle free drift down the incline. It isn't startling....just slightly blood pressure raising. The way their speed steadily increases. Her eyes remain on the road as she rests her cup back on one thigh, mouthing the lyrics.

The vehicle doesn't jerk. Just decelerates and turns with the curve of the road at the same time. The momentum tugs on them slightly. Makes Rex's head bend to the side just a bit. His hand bracing against the ceiling out of instinct.

She maintains proper speed all the way through the turn, straightens out cleanly and slides her hand over the wheel with too much confidence. Pulling the vehicle into the next turn just as smoothly.

It isn't recklessness. It's just- a lack of caution that sets his hair on end.

She has to tilt her chin up over her shoulder to check her blindspot while making a turn. Too short to see it without craning her neck a little. Alternates sipping her caf and glancing around. Checking her mirrors, her blindspots, and all the intersecting lanes as they coast through. Her foot a little heavy on the gas but never enough for him to correct her. She decelerates when turning, just not enough.

Hardcase starts singing along to whatever song is playing and there's a gentle breeze sweeping through the vehicle that should be so pleasant. Ahsoka belts out the lyrics with Hardcase. A horrible duet. And when Appo complains Ahsoka settles her drink between her thighs so she can turn the volume up with that hand instead.

The music isn't blaring, it's just chafing.

The speeder decelerates again before turning and dropping down another hill and Rex feels his stomach roll.

He's been tossed around worse in gunships. he shouldn't be reacting so harshly to Ahsoka's driving.

He just doesn't trust her.

Ahsoka follows rules to the letter but never to the spirit. And that's all over her driving. Always toeing but never crossing the line. For whatever reason, this time, it bothers him.

He cringes as she throws her head back and sings, her hands nudging the wheel into the subtle curve of the lane. Slowing down as she rounds the front of the building, pulling out of the lane and swinging the vehicle in the opposite direction he expected. She backs into parking spot. letting the men unload right onto the curb.

She throws the speeder into park and Rex has to lean his head against the door for a moment. Letting the knots in his stomach loosen.

They all unload from the vehicle, some looking more relieved than others. Hardcase asks her to send him her playlist and Echo slaps her on the shoulder. "Good driving."

Fives meanwhile is suspiciously quiet, and Jesse looks like he's looking for somewhere to reject his morning caf.

"Yeah, good job." Rex says as he slams the door closed behind him. He will keep the nausea off his face.

He will.

[dalekofchaos]

Stuff like this is why I don't think the inhibitor chips were necessary.

Why make up bullshit chips that turn Clones into cartoonish "good soldiers follow orders" when Clones just naturally hating the Jedi for being incompetent generals getting their brothers in arms killed and then said brothers dying for traitors, but the real tragedy of it all is that it was all for a lie.

Order 66 was just an emergency order like the others one. For example Order 65 declared that the Chancellor is no longer able to rule the republic, therefore he has to be removed from office, if necessary with lethal force. If the jedi could have convinced the senate, that Palpatine was a sith who orchestrated the clone wars and the senate would vote for the Order 65, Palpatine would be attacked by clone troopers instead of the jedi.

These Orders were also no secret, they were written down and the clones trained these orders on Kamino a thousand times. The jedi just forgot, that the clones were fighting for the republic and not for them, and when the supreme commander of the army, in this case Palpatine because of his emergency powers, orders them to kill their field commanders, they would do so, without question, just like the kaminoans said.

In my opinion this makes a whole lot of great stories impossible like the relationship between Darman Skirata and Etain. Also it would make way more sense when Lucasfilm wants to show more survivors of Order 66, because the only clones in canon who didn't follow the order were the Bad Batch, Rex and Gregor. In Legends many clones just didn't follow the order because of their moral compass or thought it's a trap of the separatists and we could see how the clones deal with their decision to kill the jedi, in Legends some of them developed PTSD and other thought it was necessary.

In my opinion they just took a whole lot away of the personality and individuality of the clones with the inhibitor chips and turned them into mindless killer machines and I don't like that, especially after we see in the clone wars series their personality for the first time and see that the clones are individuals even when they look exactly the same, something the movies failed to show us.

Imagine a plot line where, instead of a chip telling them to betray the Jedi, troopers like Cody got a message telling them the Jedi had betrayed the Republic and attempted to murder the Chancellor. That the Jedi were now considered enemies of the Republic and had to be exterminated before they could overthrow the democracy. Forced to choose between the Jedi generals and the Republic and Supreme Chancellor, the unquestionably loyal Clones support the Republic.

It could have added many complex layers. The Clones have to live with their decisions. Maybe some regret it and wish they'd decided otherwise. Others feel their hand was forced. Others that the Jedi were traitors and never doubted their choice for a second.

Or the conflict of Rex. What if he'd been among the 501st attacking the Jedi Temple with Anakin, but split from them at the end of his own free will? Rex, who was always loyal to Anakin, and a close friend, breaks from him and flees. How does he feel about it? Does he feel he did the right thing by betraying Anakin to save the Jedi? Or does he feel he abandoned his Commander and should have stayed loyal? Maybe he struggles with it every day, wondering if he made the right choice. Or imagine if Anakin came for Ahsoka and was about to kill her and Rex chose Ahsoka over Order 66 because he knew in his heart it was wrong and tossed a flash grenade and fled with Ahsoka.

Overall, I feel like the inhibitor chip arc made the story of Order 66 somewhat boring and too black and white. It could have been a fantastic jumping off point for the complexities of mixed loyalties, of following orders, of the failures of the Republic and of the Jedi, of how not only Palpatine's villainy but his charisma and personality led to rigid loyalty among the clones.

And honestly I feel like the inhibitor chips were created to weasel out of complex storytelling, just like JJ Abrams weaseled out of dealing with Finn's PTSD of being a child soldier.

[aniharas]

𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 | 𝘵𝘸𝘰

pairing: anakin skywalker x padawan!fem!reader

summary: you are unfairly restricted from assisting your master in assignments, and you and your best friend, ahsoka tano, figure out who was behind all of it.

warnings: implied sexual content, miscommunication, angst, hurt/comfort

wc: 6.6+ split into three parts

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three

a/n: inspired by blouse by clairo!

"(Y/N)! Wait! You've got to confront Master Kenobi, this isn't fair!" your fellow padawan and good friend, Ahsoka Tano, called after you as she struggled to keep your angry, unwavering pace down the hall, away from the Jedi Council's quarters. You slid your fingers through your hair, feeling as if you could almost rip them from your scalp. The Jedi Council had called you in to discuss the raid on Kamino, describing your actions as "irresponsible" and "sloppy". They ultimately decided you were unfit for real combat and were to undergo training in the Jedi Temple for a year until you could fight alongside your master responsibly. 

To say you were angry was an understatement. You swore every stomp could be heard throughout the temple. You had only been able to accompany your master on his assignments half a year ago, and now that freedom was going to be taken away again? The longer you stayed cooped up within the Jedi Temple, the more the hallways seemed to spin. It was nauseating, and your master knew how much you longed for a mission. He also knew how capable you were to handle yourself out there...if anything, you definitely did handle yourself at Kamino just fine.

"I don't get it, why would my master do this?" You muttered as you slowed down your pace for Ahsoka to catch up, turning to her once she finally did. You both retired by a nearby staircase, plopping yourselves down to take a break. "He's not one to punish like this..."

Ahsoka huffed in deep thought, gazing at you sympathetically as she pushed your hair behind your ear. "I mean, you saved him, didn't you? There's no way he's angry at you for-"

Your Togruta sidekick cut herself off, pausing as if she had a revelation. She then turned to you, eyes blown wide as she gripped you by the shoulders. Pain shot up through every nerve in your shoulder, earning her a glare from you and her giving an apologetic look in return.

"(Y/N)...what if Obi-Wan didn't do this to you?" She suggested, loosening her grip on you, her eyes visibly lost in thought. "It must've been-"

"Who else other than my master would do this to me?!" You felt bad for interrupting her. since you know she wasn't fond of that, but she didn't care as she continued to look at you, her eyes prodding for you to figure out the answer.

You thought back to the mission. We landed at Kamino. Master Kenobi fought with General Grevious and almost fell to his death. I swooped in with my aircraft and saved him, and I got injured. I ushered him to safety. I helped bring Master to the medical ward. He scolded me, but he seemed grateful I was there. You paused.

Anakin comes in screaming like a madman about how I wasn't ready.

At this point, you were tired of the feeling of piping hot tears building up and slipping down your face, but whenever it came to that particular Jedi, you couldn't help yourself. He always seemed to unravel you, and it never seemed fair to you. Why did he do this to you? To keep you in Coruscant to make sure you were in one piece so he could screw you after his assignments? You wanted to be more than a plaything to him, you wished he saw you as an equal...you wished he even saw you at all.

Shamefully, your hands were your curtains as you hid your face, sobbing into Ahsoka's shoulder as she held you close and caressed your head. She didn't know about what went on between you and her master, but she was smart enough to sense a tension.

"Ugh! I oughta give that Skyguy a piece of my mind," she threatened with a scowl on her face, letting up her scary demeanor briefly to press a kiss to the top of your head. "You didn't do anything wrong. He's always been so weird to you for no reason. I'm supposed to spar with him in a bit...if you want me to talk to him, I can."

Shaking your head, you removed your hands from your face, your skin wet and splotchy from your tears. You didn't want to drag Ahsoka in to the mess that was you and Anakin. Reluctantly pulling away from her embrace, you continued your descent down the stairs towards your dormitories. "I'll see you later, Ahsoka."

You knew she wasn't going to be satisfied with that answer, but you hoped she wouldn't do anything too rash.

-

Anakin tried to not dwell on the thought of you. He kept trying to convince himself that restricting your Jedi training was reasonable, but the guilt of lying to the Council for his own selfishness kept creeping back. It was crawling under his skin, constantly sending shivers down his spine. He couldn't wait to finish up Ahsoka's sparring so he could retire to his quarters and relax.

"SKYGUY! Why are you such a prick?! How could you do that to (Y/N)?"

Alas, a lesson he constantly learned at the Jedi Temple is that he could never get what he wanted. He heard Ahsoka stalk up to him, stopping right behind him. He took a deep breath, brandishing his deactivated lightsaber as he turned to face his padawan. "I'm not aware of such a thi-"

The last thing he expected was the tip of Ahsoka's lit-up lightsaber directly in his face. After wincing at the heat, he gave her a condescending look, and she seemed to shrink a bit, retracting her lightsaber and holding it at her side.

"Please don't make me do chores for that, master...I'm just mad at you. (Y/N) and I know that you were the one that talked to the Jedi Council about her. You can bully other padawans, I don't care. But you know how easily worked up I get about her!" Ahsoka explained, defiantly crossing her arms as she gave him her death glare.

Suddenly, Anakin found the corner of his lips tugging up a bit. He knew what it was like to get worked up about you, it was the whole reason why he lied to the Council in the first place.

There it was. The twinge of guilt from lying about you to the people you both looked up to. He knew you didn't deserve it at all, but it was the only way to ensure that he would get to keep you. Seemingly out of nowhere, he found it hard to meet his padawan's eyes, indicating his guilt, and in turn infuriating her. She grunted in her anger, kicking a nearby deactivated practice droid to calm herself down. Anakin watched blankly, and he couldn't help but think about how you handled yourself when you were angry.

When something was troubling you, you didn't cause a scene like Ahsoka. No, you would keep to yourself and your friends. Your lips would be sealed shut until you were feeling okay again. You would keep your head down, but you would watch and listen intently. It was only then that Anakin realized that you've been troubled ever since the medical ward, no, ever since the morning of the Kamino raid.

"If you're going to bully anyone, bully me. I'm your apprentice!" Ahsoka's shrill voice sliced straight through his thoughts. "You have to fix this! Do you realize how unfair it is-"

"You don't think I know how unfair it is?!" Anakin shouted back at his padawan, utterly shocking her and making her take a step back. Gripping his hair, nearly white-knuckling, he turned his back on Ahsoka. "I know very well how unfair it is. (Y/N) is just going through what I went through as a padawan. It's normal. I am doing this for her safety since Obi-Wan doesn't know how to handle her," he answered shakily as he tried to regulate his thoughts, but it was impossible with the sound of his pounding heartbeat drumming in his ears.

"But she only had a couple grazes-"

"I would prefer if she had none at all."

Ahsoka was taken aback by her master's answers, for once finding herself at a loss for words. Since when did Anakin feel so strongly for you? Had she just been too caught up in her apprenticeship to notice? No, she would notice something like this. He barely even looked at or talked to you. She furrowed her brows at the thought, her fury rising once again to come to your defense.

"If you cared so much about her, you should've known how this would make her feel, master," Ahsoka scoffed, arms crossed, prepared to search for answers. Anakin stood there, him now at a loss for words. He wished that he hadn't helped nurture Ahsoka's sharp tongue, but she was right. He knew that he caused all this, the reason why you and he spent those nights together in the first place. The shame of inhibiting your progress, ignoring you, pulling you into his mess in the first place felt like it was all crumbling down onto him like rocks and boulders, feeling like he was being pelted with every word from Ahsoka.

"Listen, master, I don't know what your deal with (Y/N) is. I don't know if you have a crush on her or if you feel protective of her because you guys were brought up the same way. Who knows what's going on between you two? And I won't even bring up how all of this goes against many aspects of the Jedi Code, but just know that you went too far. You're not protecting her, you're just selfish. Besides, how could you say all of this when you pretend she isn't even there? She pretty much hates you now, you can't even treat her like a person, and you-"

But Anakin couldn't bring himself to stay and listen to the rest of Ahsoka's berating. He had to find you. He made a run for it, leaving his padawan alone in the training room, all while honing in on the Force to get a sense as to where you would be. Once he focused, he realized that your troubled state of mind was easy to detect. How could he be so caught up in his own feelings and desires that he failed to notice yours? It was like when he chased you to the medical ward, his body could barely keep up with the speed of his feet, his mind nothing but a distressed frenzy. His body has been through far more intense obstacles before, but the stakes of any mission never felt as high as the stake of you. His heart seemed to seize and splutter with every other step, and each one had him worry if he had ruined everything with you entirely.

He couldn't lose those nights with you, the secret meetings that became dear to his heart, unbeknownst to him. He craved the way your skin felt under his rough, battle-worn hands as he connected your birthmarks and scars together like a constellation. The sounds of your labored breathing and rapid heartbeat always matched his own, bringing him an overwhelming clarity. With every blink, your ever-so-versatile eyes stared right back at him. Teasing him, tantalizing him. Wanting him, studying him. You saw him for more than what he brought to the surface, made him feel capable of being needed, being loved.

Anakin never stopped once to take a break until he was met with the shut door of your dormitory. The way he banged on the door would make anyone think there was an emergency.

He couldn't lose you.

next chapter

[queen-of-mandalore]

Em’s Star Wars Rewatch part 42

The Clone Wars #40 - The Wrong Jedi

5x17: Sabotage

I actually love the opening scene so much. It’s the perfect mix of action and humour and Ahsoka gets to save Anakin’s arse. Ahsoka has grown so much since the start of the series and I love how capable and confident she has become.

Anakin’s proud smile when he realises Ahsoka saved his life.

It’s ironic that Ahsoka and Anakin are chosen because they were off world and therefore perceived to not have any involvement in the bombing, and yet Ashoka ends up being accused anyway.

The anti-Jedi sentiment is such an interesting plot to the later seasons of the show. I wish we delved a bit more into how the war affects the ordinary people.

It’s also ironic how Ahsoka says that if you run it means you are guilty, then later runs despite being innocent.

5x18: The Jedi Who Knew Too Much

I just feel so bad for Ahsoka in this episode 😭😭😭

I really want to punch Tarkin in the face.

Barriss and Ahsoka’s conversation about attachments is interesting especially when you know Barriss is behind everything. It makes you wonder how long she had been struggling and if things would have been different if she’d had a master like Anakin.

As much as I get why they thought she did it, it’s also pretty clear on the security tape that Ahsoka isn’t going a choking action. I feel like anyone who knew anything about force choking would see that, but I don’t think Tarkin would have even bothered to ask a Jedi’s opinion.

Anakin’s anger at not being let in - a glimpse of the darkness that lies within him. But he suppresses it and doesn’t cause a fight - I feel like if it had been Padmé and not Ahsoka he wouldn’t have controlled himself.

Ahsoka’s faith in Anakin is what led to her downfall. She escaped her cell because she was convinced Anakin was trying to help her.

As much as I hate seeing Ahsoka on the run, she is such a bad ass in this episode. Truly shows how skilful she is to evade all the troopers. Anakin making her train with the clones really paid off.

I get why they thought she was guilty, but the amount of lethal force they use is insane. Even after anakin tells them to only use stun, they still go after her with a rocket launcher.

Rex: ‘I know Commander Tano, she wouldn’t do this’ 🥺

Rex’s hesitation and wavering voice when he relays the order and says ‘she’s killed three troopers’. He knew it wasn’t right.

Ahsoka is right. No one would believe her. Even before she ran, Tarkin had made it pretty clear as far as he was concerned she was guilty.

‘I won’t go down for something I didn’t do!’

Anakin’s face before she jumps 😭

5x19: To Catch A Jedi

I wish the Council had more faith in Ahsoka. I know they have to look at the facts but it seems they are far too ready to believe she’s guilty. It also annoys me that they accuse Anakin of letting his emotions cloud his judgement just because he doesn’t immediately assume she’s guilty.

Obi-Wan and Plo being the only ones on the Council to even try and speak in Ahsoka’s favour.

I love Ventress.

Ahsoka’s faith in Barriss breaks my heart. Out of everyone she turned to her, the one person she thought he could still trust, when in fact she had set the whole thing up.

Ahsoka trying not to hurt the clones even after everything.

I feel like it’s worse that it’s Rex and Wolffe chasing her - two clones we know she worked with. Especially Rex 😭

Considering Wolffe’s past with Ventress, maybe it’s not a surprise he thinks the worst of Ahsoka when he sees them working together.

‘See? I didn’t kill a single one. It’s the new me.’

Even Anakin seems to start thinking Ahsoka is guilty 😭

5x20: The Wrong Jedi

Ngl I felt like sobbing the whole way through this episode.

I think the Council’s decision to expel Ashoka highlights everything that’s wrong with the Jedi Order. They have become far too political and beholden to the senate. Instead of being independent they have effectively become a structure of the government and therefore have to do what the senate wants, even if they believe it is wrong.

To Obi-Wan’s credit, he tried to argue for Ahsoka to be allowed to stay, but maybe he should have argued harder.

Anakin’s anger at the Council is very clear here. I bet Sidious was rubbing his hands together in delight.

I think Anakin in this episode is the closest to the dark side he has come so far (maybe with the exception of the sand people in AotC). Him interrogating Ventress was honestly terrifying.

Ventress is so right about the parallels between her and Ashoka.

It really didn’t take much for Anakin to find the truth. All he did was listen to Ahsoka, find Ventress, ask a few questions and then confront Barriss. The show made it seem like all it took a was an hour or so to find the truth. Could none of the other Jedi do this? If any of them had tried to find the truth they would have.

They barely gave Ahsoka any time to prepare for her trial - no time to find evidence or build a case. I love Padme but there was no way she was going to build a winning case in such a short space of time.

Anakin never gave up on her and I love that.

Anakin with two lightsabers is cool as hell. I’ve always wondered why him and Obi-Wan only use one sabre when they have both used two very effectively on various occasions.

Barriss makes some very valid points about the Jedi, but she’s undermined by her own actions. You can’t accuse the council of causing violence and suffering when you just carried out a terrorist bombing killing innocent people.

The look of betrayal on Ahsoka’s face 🥺

As much as I actually like Mace, his talk of it being her great trial and actually the will of the Force is the biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard. Ahsoka’s look of disgust was warranted.

Anakin’s puppy dog eyes when he’s begging her to come back 😭

The end scene is so beautiful and so heartbreaking. I’m actually so proud of Ahsoka for making that decision. It would have been so much easier just to come back but she knew it wasn’t right.

I love Ashoka so much!

[tragedy-for-sale]

On You're Own, Kid.

Everyone has a moment when they realize the person they looked up to wasn't a hero, they're a normal person. Ahsoka remembers the day she started to see Captain Rex as a person too. TW for death and gore

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

Ahsoka Tano was 14. She was 14 and fighting in a war. A bloody war. Identical men bleed into one. She remembered wanting to come along with Rex to look for survivors. He didn't want her to and know she knew why. "-All we found were dead bodies." Ahsoka mumbled. They were in the Med Bay, Rex sat perfectly still as a droid patched his face.

"Yup." Rex's tone was dry. He didn't want the damn kid to come with him but Anakin- he whinced, his rage weakened his composure. Ahsoka frowned, looking over at Rex's blood soaked armor. He dug through body after body, bloody and broken. Ahsoka never wanted to do that again. She could sense Rex's agitation but she was hoping it wasn't her that upset him. She didn't even do anything. She followed him, arms over her chest wanting to hide.

She brought a med kit with her, she remembered soldiers giving her a look that she now understood. They disapproved and she wished someone told her they weren't going out there for survivors, they were going out there for the dead. Rex walked calmly among the bodies, as if their deaths wouldn't haunt him. He only checked vitals for half of them, but for all them, Rex knelt down, whispered something and ripped a chain from their neck. "I shouldn't have gone with you."

"-But you did." Rex didn't look at her and he didn't comfort her. Ahsoka was expecting both. Anakin and Obi-Wan always took their time explaining death to her, they always made sure she was okay, but Rex didn't look at her, he made it clear he didn't give a damn about how she felt.

"Do you do that after every battle?"

"Always."

"Just you?"

"Just me." Rex's face twitched before his hand swung up and gripped the droid's arm, sending it into distress. Ahsoka jumped from Rex's sudden movement, he hadn't move at all before just then. Rex let the droid go before finally turning to Ahsoka. "It's my duty, not just as a Captain, but as a brother. My men, my brothers, died today. All their deaths will go unmourned by the rest of the galaxy, but I know the name of every brother lost today and that is what I carry." His voice was grim, he was gritting his teeth, angry at the world but Ahsoka thought him angry at her.

Ahsoka watched Rex stand up, unbothered by the dry blood that caked his armor. Ahsoka pulled her knees to her chest as she looked at the floor. She wasn't supposed to be doing this, she wasn't supposed to ever be fighting a war. She was a Jedi, she was supposed to be at the temple with her family not on a cruiser in cold space with an equally as cold captain. Rex shouldn't have existed. Every man that died today should never have died because they should never have been made. What was the point of this war?

"... This isn't what I'm supposed to be doing." Ahsoka felt her face become hot. "I'm not supposed to be fighting a war," She started to cry. Rex turned and had to force his disgusted look off his face. Soldiers don't cry. "I'm supposed to have a Master and he's supposed to take me to negotiations and relief missions and, and-"

"Commander- commander." Rex tried to cut her off, he walked towards her, he didn't know what to do. He wasn't supposed to be doing this. He wasn't supposed to be counseling a kid, babysitting her and thinking about her feelings. He wasn't supposed to be clearing a path so a hand didn't fall on her foot and make her more scared than she clearly was. He was a soldier, he wasn't supposed to care about someone's well being because no one ever cared about his.

Ahsoka didn't stop crying and Rex was started to panic. "Kid, kid-" He pleaded, "A-Ahsoka, stop crying." He was at a loss. Ahsoka looked up and wiped her eyes.

"You're covered in blood, and it's not even yours, how does that not make you so sad?" Ahsoka started to bawl and Rex jumped back, he wanted to nope the hell out of this room. "We walked through dead bodies and you didn't even flinch once, you didn't even cry!" She wailed and wailed, frantically wiping her eyes, hating that this was where she was.

"Ahsoka-" Rex took off his gloves, his hands didn't have blood on them, "Kid, look, look, stop crying," He knelt down and looked up at Ahsoka. She wiped her eyes and sniffled, trying her best to listen. Rex let out a sigh, "Look, most of time people look at where they are in life and are dissatisfied with where they are 'cause they don't see it's where they're meant to be." He started to explain, "When I was a cadet, I never understood what I was training for and I never really wanted to do it if I'm honest, but as I grew I found acceptance that this is just how my life is going to go, so I found meaning in it."

He grabbed a tissue and wiped Ahsoka's face, "You're still a kid, and you're being exposed to heavy things way too early for my taste, but maybe there's a reason?" He sighed, "You're a strong kid, Ahsoka, and you're gonna be a great Jedi, you're already a great Commander. So just take it one day at a time, reflect on the pain this war causes you and carry your heart with you in everything you do..." He trailed off, he thought he sounded rather smart just then, he just hoped Ahsoka thought so too.

She looked at him and tried to smile. He'd been so cold but now he sounded like Anakin, trying so hard to help her find her place. "Thank you, Rex." She whispered as she wiped her eyes. Rex half smiled and nodded.

"Of course, 'soka"

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

[burnwater13]

Grogu and Din Djarin in the N-1 Naboo Starfighter. LEGO Kit # 75325. A lush green planet with a large lake can be seen in the background. Image by me. Figures and ship by LEGO

Back to school?

The N-1 was just as uncomfortable as it had ever been. R5 was in his slot. His dad had brought all of his weapons with him. Grogu only had room for the silver knob from the Razor Crest and a good sized bag of freeze dried froglets. He didn’t have any of the things that he’d acquired on Nevarro because there just wasn’t any room. And, to top it all off, his dad had shined up his armor even more than usual and Grogu was finding the cuirass and thigh protectors extra slippery. It was more than a little annoying.

“Okay, pal, I have our course laid in and when we are in hyperspace I’ll explain to you where our stop over point is and you can do some research using the ship’s data comp. I’ll want you to tell me everything that’s worth knowing about the place we go and what we should be concerned about on Ahsoka’s behalf.”

Great. Just great. Now this wasn’t just a mystery trip. It was a mystery trip that required a school report. Grogu suddenly felt like he was back on Coruscant and sitting in a classroom with Master Windu. The tall Jedi Master liked to send the younglings on mythosaur hunts. Grogu wished he could talk to Master Windu now and explain to him that mythosaurs were real and that you really didn’t want to hunt them. They were excellent at sensing enemies and resolving those conflicts permanently. 

“Grogu, sometimes these trips are just good opportunities to teach you things that I had to learn a much harder way. I knew nothing about Concordia before I wound up living in the Mandalorian enclave there. It was nothing like Aq Vetina and that tripped me up so many times I lost count. The other trips we’ve made haven’t really allowed us to have the luxury of collecting that information and trying to understand it. This one does. Okay?”

Grogu nodded his head, but he still wasn’t a fan of this method. Usually when he ended up on a new planet he took a deep breath, closed his eyes and tried to get a feel for it through the Force. Was it a planet in balance or not? Were the people who lived there happy or miserable, in a general sense? How did the critters that lived there feel about the sentient beings that they shared the planet with? That told him an awful lot about what to expect. Sorgan was a pretty good planet with some bad people making it annoying for other people. Corvus was a mess of a planet with a people who desperately needed someone, anyone really, to help them. Trask had a lot of food that Grogu would have been happy to try if only the place hadn’t been a kind of misery trap for the Mandalorian. All that water. All those huge critters. Just add Imps and double dealing sneak thieves and you had a recipe for disaster. 

Of course, the Mandalorian hadn’t really learned to listen to Grogu when they visited any of those planets. He thought the chirps, coos, grumbles and growling was just about being a ‘baby’. Grogu hadn’t been a baby then and he wasn’t a baby now. But he supposed that people had to deal with their own biases and sometimes they harmed you in ways you never expected. Din Djarin’s bias was that small critters needed protection, when really, small critters were just small. Grogu wondered if he’d learned that lesson in the time they’d been together. He supposed he had, given that he expected to understand whatever Grogu reported to him for this mystery planet they visiting. 

Which reminded Grogu that part of the ‘test’ was likely to be making that report understandable to a Mandalorian. Hmmm. That meant he’d have to start with the security/safety status of the place they were going. Did it have a history of supporting the Empire? Or maybe a syndicate? Or were there pirates there? Packed full of droids? Yup, he’d have to start with stuff like that. It would show his dad that he knew how to prioritize. Good. 

What came after that? He was concerned about Ahsoka Tano being there and that made sense. They were supposed to meet Ahsoka, after all. Why was this planet important to her and why would she want or need the Mandalorian to meet her there but not at their final destination? Was she worried about giving something away? But to who? Why would Din Djarin or Grogu care about about things that she cared about? At least in the sense that not telling them the whole story was important to her? He’d have to see what a Jedi adjacent person might care about there and any of the planets that you could reach from there. 

Now that was a big question. Not big. No. That word was too small. It was a huge, galaxy spanning question. After everything they’d already been through on Mandalore, Ossus, Hoth, Bespin, etc., etc.,  why would Ahsoka Tano need to ask for help? A person? A thing? Given that Ahsoka was the one who asked his dad for help and Din Djarin had said that Grogu would be doing hard work on this project, were they looking for a lost Jedi temple? A holocron from the very first Jedi? Something Master Yoda had hidden for safe keeping? The mind boggled. 

Specifically Grogu’s mind boggled. He needed to meditate on this question. It was that important. He couldn’t just pretend he knew what he was doing and hope to heck that he managed to do something useful. He’d gotten lucky with that sort of thing, but he had no illusions about luck. Din Djarin and his friend Ian lived by it. Grogu lived despite it. Meditation and slowing down and letting the Force instruct him would be absolutely necessary for this project. 

Of course if this ended up being some sort of silly thing, like Ahsoka testing him to make sure that he was still Jedi-enough and that he hadn’t become some sort of bloodthirsty Mandalorian warrior… well he would be having some very strong words with her. Words like ‘thanks, but no thanks’, and ‘fool me once’, and ‘like Master, like padawan’. He hated the thought of bringing that up, but if he had to he would. He and his dad were doing her a huge favor. He had other places to be and other things to do. 

“Grogu, buddy. Are you okay? You should have used the privy before we set off.”

Nice. Thank you very much Din Djarin, Mandalorian bounty hunter. Now is the perfect time to remind him about that. Like he needed more problems to meditate about. Well, wherever they were going, he really hoped they got there sooner rather than later. He had a lot of things to do and a whole new set of priorities.

Womp Rats!

[halfagonyandhope]

when the skies catch fire │ch. 39

first chapter (x); previous chapter (x)

Qui-Gon moves back to sit upon the armchair again, and Obi-Wan forces himself to unclench the fist he has made around the kyber crystal. His joints protest at the movement, but Qui-Gon’s light doesn’t flicker as he loosens his grip.

“You’ve grown impatient with your healing,” Qui-Gon observes, and there’s no point trying to argue.

“I’m frustrated,” Obi-Wan admits. “That doesn’t mean I’m not also grateful to be alive. It’s just been…overwhelming.” He sighs. “I’d lived nearly four standard decades in this body. I knew it well. And now I am learning it all over again, as if from the beginning.”

Qui-Gon nods and listens, his eyes on his padawan.

“I actually…” continues Obi-Wan. “I’m thinking a lot of what Taria Damsin taught me, before she became one with the Force. Her thoughts on disability, and her journey of acceptance and how it was intertwined with anger. It’s helped immensely. It’s helped keep my anger from being all-consuming.”

There's a beat of silence, and then another, and then -

“Would you like me to tell her?” Qui-Gon asks.

Obi-Wan swallows. “You can speak with her?”

Qui-Gon smiles. “I’m part of the cosmic Force, as is Taria.”

“Give her my gratitude,” says Obi-Wan immediately. “She’s part of why I still breathe.” As Qui-Gon nods again, Obi-Wan ponders how to phrase his next words. Deciding he could wonder about this forever, he dives in. “Can you speak with any Jedi who has become one with the Force?” he asks.

“As far as I know,” Qui-Gon says. “Yes." He studies Obi-Wan's expression. "You’re wondering which of your friends survived the genocide.”

Obi-Wan feels Satine’s shoulder against his, a warm presence. He leans into her.

“We’ve been in the dark about so much,” he says. “We have Neha here, of course, and Ahsoka - but they both left the Order before the genocide.” Something occurs to him. “You haven’t met Ahsoka,” he realizes, and he can’t help the smile that spreads across his face. “Master, she’s the Jedi I wished I could have been. She’s…”

And he can’t find the words to describe his admiration for his grandpadawan, but he thinks Qui-Gon understands.

“I did meet her,” Qui-Gon says gently. “Master Plo Koon had just brought her to the Temple before you and I left for Naboo. Obviously I didn’t know who she would become at that time, but I remember her. I am glad you have her now.”

“Me as well,” says Satine. “She helped me rescue Obi-Wan on Mandalore. She defeated Maul, just as Obi did all those years ago.”

Qui-Gon chuckles at this, saying, “Clearly it runs in the family.”

And Obi-Wan can’t help but smile, too.

Then Qui-Gon leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “As to your question, Obi-Wan - it will be easier to tell you who I cannot feel as part of the cosmic Force rather than who I can.”

Obi-Wan steels himself.

“Quinlan is not yet part of the cosmic Force,” says Qui-Gon. “Nor is Asajj Ventress. There’s a darkness that surrounds both of their fates, so while I wish I could tell you more, much of their whereabouts have been obscured. I’m not sure what that means, if I’m being honest.”

Obi-Wan isn’t sure how to process this, isn’t sure he’s capable of processing it. “Quinlan is alive?” he whispers.

“I believe so,” says Qui-Gon. “That mission you suggested him for, right before everything in the galaxy imploded…he was still working on it when the genocide was ordered. He wasn’t near any clone troopers, as far as I am aware.”

Satine shifts Léa, and Obi-Wan reaches out to offer to take her. Holding the infant against his chest, his gaze shifts to Satine as she says, “Mandalorian intelligence was aware of that mission. Quinlan Vos was working with Asajj Ventress. Is it safe to assume they’re still…associates?”

“My guess is they saved each other’s skins,” says Obi-Wan.

“We need to locate them,” says Satine. “Some of the last intel we had on Ventress was that she’d walked away from Dooku. She must have invaluable knowledge on the Empire.”

Qui-Gon’s shoulders tense at her words, and Obi-Wan notices. “What is it, Master?”

“Dooku Serenno is another who is not yet part of the cosmic Force,” he says. “Again, there is darkness obscuring what I can feel of him, but I sense that whatever Palpatine’s original plan was, it did not involve the Count surviving. Dooku is a loose end that he would like tied up, but assassination of the Separatists’ figurehead now, after the war is over, would catalyze uprisings that Palpatine doesn’t have the resources to quash.”

“What are you saying, Qui-Gon?” asks Satine.

“Dooku is in exile on his home planet of Serenno. It’s my understanding that as long as he doesn’t leave the system, the Emperor will allow him to live.”

Obi-Wan looks at Satine, taking in her arched brow, and he knows she's thinking along the same lines that he is.

“Commander Cody is stationed on Serenno,” Obi-Wan tells Qui-Gon. “We received this intel not long ago, but I wasn’t aware that Dooku was alive at the time.”

“You think Dooku is trying to summon you to Serenno?” asks Qui-Gon.

“Cody is…” Obi-Wan begins. He corrects himself. “Was my lieutenant. He’s saved my life more times than anyone else, except perhaps Anakin. Dooku would know this.”

Obi-Wan closes his eyes, remembering the nightmare he’d had weeks prior. Dooku had spoken to him, then.

He sighs, opening his eyes again.

He should have known.

“What does he want, I wonder?”

“You’re thinking of going?” asks Satine. Her voice is pained but accepting.

Obi-Wan looks down at Léa, whose eyes have now closed in slumber. “Cody is my family, too,” he says, and Satine places her hand on his thigh.

“Let’s see if we can contact Vos and Ventress first,” says Satine. “I’d feel better about you going if we had intelligence beforehand so you aren’t going in without some idea of what you’re facing.”

Obi-Wan nods. He glances at Satine, letting her see the worry in his eyes.

“You won’t fall, Obi-Wan,” says Qui-Gon. “Dooku won’t even be able to tempt you. It is the advantage you now have of being separate from the Force.”

“Load of good it will do me if I can’t protect myself,” says Obi-Wan.

But Qui-Gon just smiles. “That is protecting yourself, my boy.” He stands. “Before I go - ”

Obi-Wan rises, too, slightly unsteady on his feet with Léa in his arms, but then Satine is beside him, and he doesn’t sway further.

“Will I see you again?” Obi-Wan asks.

“I’ll be here whenever you call me,” says Qui-Gon. “And I’ll appear when you need me, even if you don’t call.”

Obi-Wan nods.

Qui-Gon steps closer to brush a fingertip against Léa’s cheek. The infant continues to sleep, unperturbed, as Qui-Gon moves his hand to rest on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. Though Qui-Gon’s image isn’t solid, Obi-Wan feels a slight weight to his touch, and he looks up at his master’s eyes.

“Obi-Wan,” he says. “I also haven’t been able to feel Bant Eerin or Siri Tachi in the cosmic Force.”

Qui-Gon’s light disappears at that instant, and Obi-Wan has to bite back a sob. 

“Bant,” he gasps.

He’s told Satine about Siri, of course, but he hasn’t yet told her about Bant.

“Bant was my first friend,” he manages to get out. “My longest friend.”

Satine reaches a hand up to his face, and he realizes she’s wiping away his tears. She guides him back down to the couch, holding him in her arms as he holds Léa.

“We’ll find them, Obi-Wan,” she whispers against him, her hand against the back of his head, cradling him to her. “I’ll find Siri and Bant.”

He drops his forehead to her shoulder, trying to compose himself.

“I promise you,” Satine whispers.

[fanfictiongirlie]

Star Wars: Whatever Side That May Be - Chapter One -

Star Wars Masterlist

Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi x Original Female Character

Description:

"Obi-Wan, for I shall never leave you. You are my master and I your padawan, we have a bond..." I say, the tears leaving my eyes, streaming down my cheeks, they felt hot against my skin. My voice sounded pathetic, it was erratic and higher than usual. 

"That 'bond' means nothing to me now. I belong to the dark side, and I answer only to the Emperor. I do not care about such things anymore" He leans down, his face only inches from mine. "If you do not leave, you will suffer a fate worse than death"

-Alyla is Obi-Wan's padawan, except she finds him on Mustafar, a Sith. He gives her a chance to run away, and live. But she chooses to stay, and becomes prisoner to the Sith-

Rating: Teen Audiences and up (It gets a little violent)

Warnings: Sith!Obi-Wan, Sith!Anakin, violence (between main characters), Idiots in Love, Original female character is a little obsessed with Obi-Wan.

Chapter 1/3

I wasn't on Coruscant when the troopers began killing Jedi. I wasn't anywhere near the planet, or anywhere else. My master had sent me on a solo mission, I almost didn't make it back. And I had a bad feeling about it, it felt like a mission that maybe I wasn't supposed to survive. And my anxiety only furthered when I felt it, the killings of hundreds of Jedi. Master Yoda had always said I was very intune with my emotions and those around me. I had wished I wasn't, feeling them die, it hurt, and scared me. I was scared for my master, and my friends. I'd already lost Ahsoka, I couldn't lose the others. 

Last I had heard, my master was travelling towards Mustafar, I grimace at the thought, a horrible planet I had never travelled to myself. 

"Come on, Alyla..." I say quietly to myself...I took in a deep breath, and pressed a few buttons on my ship's console. Obi-Wan could be in trouble, the thought alone made my heart feel cold, I loved my master, adored him. I had to make sure he was safe.

As my ship flew through the stars, I replayed the voice note I had received, the very voice note that allowed me to know of the attack from the troopers. The voice note cut out, telling me my Jedi friend had been killed. I shivered, space was cold, and the fear of all my fellow Jedi being dead, made me feel even colder. 

I arrived at Mustafar, the planet lied within the Atravis sector of the galaxy's Outer Rim Territories, I had never been out this far before. I felt uncertain as I landed my ship, my thoughts were clouded and I couldn't sense my master yet. I couldn't feel his light, it confused me further. 

As I stepped off my ship, I suddenly missed the freeze from space, Mustafar was hot, too hot for me. Even in my attire, I only wore a pair of my black trousers, and a long top, it was my usual after-mission outfit, but I thought to myself in that moment, maybe I should of wore my armor. At least my lightsaber was clipped onto my belt, I kept my hand on it as I walked onto the planet surface. 

I eyed my surroundings, the tall building in the distance felt like the right way to go. I gave my ship one passing glance, hoping I'd see it again. And then I started walking, I had to jump from large rock to large rock, until I reached the building. It was larger than I had thought, tall with two points towards the sky. The closer I got, the more I felt clouded and unsure. I could sense the force, but it was unfamiliar. I tried concentrated hard on my own force light, willing it to surround me, and calm my thoughts. 

As I quietly moved into the building, I could hear voices echoing off the walls, I gulped and walked closer to the voices. Alone with my thoughts as I explored the sweltering building, my heart ached, and I couldn't place how, I had a terrible feeling. I knew the Jedi Order had fallen, and though I was loyal to them, my loyalty was far greater towards my master, if Obi-Wan was dead, I...I couldn't. I wouldn't care for the Jedi Order if he was gone. 

The closer I got to the voices the darker the force felt, I hadn't been in many situations where I had felt the dark corners of the force, it was overwhelming to say the least. I finally reached the room where the voices came from, it was the largest room I had seen. There wasn't even a roof, easy access for the ships, I thought. I nearly gasped when I saw my master's ship, alongside Anakin's ship. My heart swelled as I thought I had found them. 

I stepped into the room, I was slightly hidden behind a huge rock by the entrance, I went to walk forward, rush towards my master, happy I had found him. But that's when I finally saw them both. Anakin and Obi-Wan were standing over Padme's body, she wasn't moving. At first I had thought they were hurting her, but no, Anakin reached down, taking her in his arms, he walked away, onto his ship. I stepped out from my hiding place, walking closer to my master. 

Obi-Wan had his back turned to me, but my footsteps weren't quiet, I wasn't trying to be stealthy. I watched as his hand moved down to his lightsaber, he turned around quickly and ignited his saber, my eyes widened when I saw the dark crimson colour instead of his usual blue. 

I couldn't believe it, Obi-Wan was a sith...No, he couldn't be. But his red lightsaber, and the orange tinged around his eyes suggested otherwise. 

"You...You survived" He says, his voice deeper than usual. He seems genuinely shocked at me being here. But I knew my master, adored him for years, I could tell his emotions, sometimes better than he could. Sure, he was shocked to see me, but there was a hint of remorse in his tone. But I wasn't sure if it was because I had truly survived or because I was here, standing before him. 

"Master.." I say quietly. "what's happening?" 

"Alyla...I'm sorry" He says as he takes a step closer to me, he lifted his saber up, taking a attack position. I looked at him wide eyed for a moment. 

"Sorry?" I question. "Master, no" I beg, I grab my own lightsaber and ignite it, the dark magenta matching my eyes, I loved my saber, and in return it served me well in all of my duels. I watched as he took another step towards me, we weren't close enough to fight yet, I wouldn't fight him...I took a step backwards, a few more steps, and I'd be against the rock I had hidden behind earlier. 

"I have joined the dark side. You know what this means" He says, taking another step towards me. "You will be my first kill as a Sith Lord Alyla" 

"No...Please" I whispered, I was in shock, Obi-Wan and I were close, we had been brought into the council many times for them to questions how close we were, we never did anything, of course, it wasn't the Jedi way. But surely he wouldn't kill me...Not after everything. He charges forward lifting his lightsaber above his head, as he strikes down I lift my saber and block him, I had been fighting with him since I was a child, I knew how he fought, and he knew how I fought. The muscles in my arms struggled as I held my saber against his, the sparks from both sabers flying around us. 

"The Emperor ordered me to kill all the Jedi. I'm merely obeying orders, young one" He says, my heart flutters as he calls me young one, it had been a few years since he had used that nickname on me. I pushed against his saber, he lifted his moving to swing to my side, but I dodged his attack, flipping my body backwards, I pressed my back against the rock behind me, and held my saber out, ready to swing if I needed to. My body was tired, I had finished the mission he sent me on mere hours ago, and that almost killed me, I was exhausted, and he must of known that. 

"Master, no...please...Let me" I say, my breath haggard as I watch him, he was breathing as heavy as I was. Didn't he realise, I'd follow him anywhere...Even to the dark side? I wasn't sure. Maybe I could convince him to come back to the light, come back with me. We could forgo the Force, forget about being Jedi. 

"You still call me master?" He says with a dark laugh, he paces in front of me, like a tiger caged up, he looked more animalistic than usual. It scared me, seeing my master look so...feral. He looks at me with a smile, a evil sly smirk as he looks down at me. "You know what I am now, and you are a Jedi. We shall never be on the same side. You shall never be able to forgive me, and so you must die" He lifts his hand and I feel his force energy take hold of my neck, squeezing me slightly. 

"I..." I struggle, my breath sputtering out as I use my free hand to grasp at my neck. "Mas...Obi..."

He releases his tight hold, just enough for me to catch my breath. He starts to charge again, but I twist my body out of the way. I look at him again, my breath hard and my voice croaking slightly as I snap at him. "Let me speak, dammit!"

"Speak then" He says, stopping all movements, I had never seen him so stiff. His eyes were hard as they looked at me, so harsh, he had only ever looked at me with such kindness. It hurt my soul seeing him look at me like he hated me. 

"I..." I start, feeling myself washed over with anxiety, there was no room for concentrating on the force and or keeping my thoughts calm now. I was in fight or flight mode, and I knew I should of ran. I should of started fighting and escaping but leave him? How could I... "I will follow you, wherever you go, don't you realise that?"

"No, I will not allow it. You must die. The Emperor has ordered me to kill all Jedi, and that includes you" He says, his voice quiet, but still harsh as he takes a step closer to me. His lightsaber was held up as he walked, lighting his face up, making his skin look red. I sigh, and take a deep breath. I wouldn't fight him, I refused to. So with shaky hands I dropped my lightsaber, it made a loud noise as it connected with the floor. 

"Kill me then, but know, I..." I could feel my eyes tear up, the wetness burned my eyes, this planet was far too hot, I felt over hot and clammy, I never expected the way I'd tell Obi-Wan I loved him to be here. Deep in my heart, I felt defeated. 

Obi-Wan was now standing in front of me, towering over me, holding his lightsaber ready to strike. 

"You are a great warrior; strong with the Force. It is a shame you are a Jedi Alyla. I see conflict in you" He raises his hand to end it, but stops before he makes the final blow. "What words do you wish to speak, Alyla...speak them for you will not get the chance after you die"

With a shaky hand, I lift my arm slowly, his eyes follows my movements, he uses his force to send my lightsaber flying off in the opposite direction, thinking I was going for it, but instead I gently cup his cheek. "I..."I start to finally say the words, but I couldn't. Like some thing was stopping me, maybe the way his eyes looked down at me, with such darkness. The orange was slowly taking over his eyes, but they were still his eyes. "You never noticed, karabast master!"

"Don't you dare say you love me. It won't make a difference" Ah, so he had noticed. Somehow, that made me feel even worse. 

"Oh" I say quietly, my heart shattering inside of me. "Kill me Master, do what you have to do" 

He lowers his lightsaber and steps away, turning his back to me. "Leave and never return. If I see you again, I will not hesitate to kill you"

"Before I go" I say quietly, my eyes darting to where my lightsaber had gone. I couldn't see it. My heart ached, I couldn't leave without my saber. I couldn't leave him. "Let me do one thing? And then I'll disappear, I promise"

"I've known you for a long time, so I know whatever you have planned will come to no good, but make it quick" He says darkly, he turns on his feet and faces me. I take a step closer to him, I was no longer deeply connected with the force, my concentration was gone, I would need a deep meditation to become balanced once more. When I stood in front of him, I reach up and place a hand on his cheek again, and moved to press my lips to his other cheek. He doesn't move, unsure how to react. We never touched, never even touched before. 

"Go" He mutters. 

"I...I won't leave you" I whisper, I knew I was stupid. I had never made a stupid decision ever, not on any mission, I left the stupid decisions to Ahsoka and Anakin. I was always level-headed. Except for him. 

"I said go, or I will kill you right here, in the name of the Emperor" He snaps. 

"Destroy me, Obi-Wan, for I shall never leave you. You are my master and I your padawan, we have a bond..." I say, the tears leaving my eyes, streaming down my cheeks, they felt hot against my skin. My voice sounded pathetic, it was erratic and higher than usual. 

"That 'bond' means nothing to me now. I belong to the dark side, and I answer only to the Emperor. I do not care about such things anymore" He leans down, his face only inches from mine. "If you do not leave, you will suffer a fate worse than death"

"You belong to the dark side now...and I, will forever belong to you" I say quietly. I knew I should of left, he was giving me a way out. I should listen to him and disappear forever. But life could I even have, without him. 

"That doesn't matter anymore. You have no place with me" He sneers, using his force, he pushes me back slightly, but I fight against it, holding my ground and staying on my two feet. "Run, it is over. The Jedi order has fallen"

"I don't care about all that, Kriff! I only care about you!" I snap, my anger pouring out of me, making my force shake within, I rarely got angry, it just wasn't me. Plus the Jedi didn't allow for such emotions. 

"Stop this!" He shouts. "I am not the Obi-Wan you once knew and loved! I have embraced the dark side" He steps closer, lifting his arm to grab my neck, he lifts his lightsaber up and holds it close to my cheek. I could feel the warmth from the energy against my skin. I whimpered softly, biting my bottom lip. "I am warning you for the last time. Go or I will cut you down right here"

"You'll always be my Obi-Wan" I whisper, my voice croaking as I speak, his fingers tighten on my neck, tears fall from my eyes. I was his, and his alone. I hated myself, why couldn't I just leave him. It was like my force was tethered to his force, unable to let him go. He lowers his lightsaber, his eyes soften slightly, but the rage was still behind them. 

"You will be the death of me" He mutters and then he grabs my face and pulls me close to him, pressing his lips to mine. I don't react at first, shocked at the movement of his lips against mine. I kiss him back, tasting him and savouring the moment. My heart ached and my chest hurt more, the kiss didn't feel like a beginning to something, it felt like the end. How could a kiss feel so negative...

He ends the kiss, keeping his hand on my jaw. "Tell me why you still want this? I am a Sith Lord. Your enemy. You are a Jedi. And yet, you still want this, after all that's happened" 

"Because I love you!" I say, finally saying the words, it felt like a heavy weight leaving my shoulders. Finally, I said the words. "I have always kriffing loved you! I don't care if I'm not a Jedi any longer, not if it means losing you!"

"I do not share your feelings, and never will" He snaps, releasing me, whilst taking a step away from me. "Leave why you can. I have shown you mercy against the Emperor's orders. Leave Alyla, and do not return or I will be forced to destroy you" His voice falters slightly as he says my name, the softness returning for a moment. 

"Obi-Wan" I say weakly, I knew he was lying. I knew it deep inside of me, deep within my force energy. But I also knew when my master wouldn't change his mind on things. "You won't have to worry about killing me, you just did." I say, my voice turning to a whisper. "I'll go" 

"It is the right decision" He says quietly as he puts his lightsaber down, shutting it off. "You shall never see me again, farewell Alyla"

I look at him for another moment, the tears down my face had stopped, I felt nothing but numb and confusion. He watches me in return, a scowl coming onto his features. 

"Why don't you care about your life? I am offering you mercy. If you value your life then this is your chance to leave, I shall not offer it to you again" He sighs, taking a step closer to me. "Make a choice before I make it for you. Either you leave or you die. Your choice....choose"

"A life without you, is far worse than death" I say, defeated. 

"If you won't leave, then you leave me no choice" He says, he takes his lightsaber once more. igniting it. The tension in the air is palpable as he stares down at me. His lifts his arm, ready to bring down his saber. 

"Obi-Wan! Wait" A voice calls, I look over to Anakin's ship, seeing him walk out of it. He looked so different, He wore fully black, his hair scruffier than usual, and his eyes...Dark orange. I gasped softly seeing him. Obi-Wan lowers his lightsaber. 

"What's the matter, Anakin?" He asks, his voice colder than I had ever heard it before. 

"I like the idea of Alyla being our prisoner...She could be useful" Anakin says, a sly grin over his lips. I frown, Anakin seemed far more gone than Obi-Wan. 

"No" Obi-Wan says, his voice adamant. "She is more powerful than you know. The only way is to kill her"

"Look, if she tries to escape, kill her then. Come on, Master...I'd love to have something to play with" Anakin says darkly. My thoughts go to Padme for a moment. She had to be dead. With her dead, Anakin would be fully dark, and he was showing me right now, he was just that. 

"She is no use to us! Leave her here" Obi-Wan growls, he turns on his feet, grabbing my lightsaber as he storms onto his ship. Anakin doesn't follow, he stalks slowly towards me. 

"Come on, little plaything" He grins, grabbing my arm. I let him, I had no saber, and my Force energy was depleted. I couldn't fight back. "We won't tell Obi-Wan" He says with a dark laugh as he drags me onto his ship. 

"Don't try anything" He snaps as he throws me into the cell on his ship. "You try and escape, and I will put my lightsaber through your heart" 

"Ani..." I whisper to my former best friend. 

"Don't!" He snap, looking at me with his dark orange eyes, his breathing was heavy and dark. "You are not my friend anymore. Accept that you are only my prisoner now" And with that, he leaves, leaving my locked in the cell. Now alone, I sit in the corner of the cell, and bring my knees to my chest, sobbing silently, my thoughts flooded with how stupid I was, to not escape when Obi-Wan gave me the chance. 

[tarisilmarwen]

Ahsoka "Fallen Jedi" Liveblog

Let's go let's go let's go let's go let's goooooooooooooo!

Oh I'm so excited for this I already know there are Developments.

Hype hype hype hype.

Oh we're starting off with complete silence are we? Okay.

Sabine trying to raise Hera. :(

Ahhhh yes it's the "Ahsoka and Sabine butting heads about saving Ezra versus stopping Thrawn" convo Sabezra fandom predicted.

"Can I count on you?" Low blow Ahsoka, recalling Ezra's own words.

"I know how much Ezra means to you." *falls into this line, dies*

Oh don't let Huyang get shot, come on now, you already had him get blasted once.

Buncha trailer shots in this episode I'm guessing.

"Stay together. You always did better that way, in my opinion." Ha ha ha this would be a sweet line if we had ever actually SEEN Ahsoka and Sabine working together. *grumbles*

Hera going off by herself to go help Sabine and Ahsoka lolol. That little face she makes when she says, "Watch me."

Baby Jacen is still super precious.

The GHOOOOOOOOOOSSST!

This sequence would have been the perfect spot to drop Zeb in, you know. Just saying.

Go girls go, go, go, you need to get on that ship before it leaves!

And it's my favorite new villain couple.

If Shin could have a bit more personality she'd be more interesting but "feral" is wearing thin.

OH AND NOW WE HAVE A TICKING CLOCK DEVICE.

There were people complaining that this moment where Ahsoka wipes Marrok was lifted from "Twin Suns" but in context... no it's just Dave's usual thing for cool samurai finishers.

Oh wow Shin looks extremely unnerved at Marrok dissipating into green Nightsister mist.

Did... Morgan take all the guards and droids with her? Just leaving Baylan there by himself to handle Ahsoka huh? What a bitch.

"One must destroy in order to create." Nooooooooo they really don't Baylan, that's grade A horseshit.

And stinks of Empire and Sith apologism.

The map is gorgeous. Wish they'd turn the saturation and contrast up just a smidge more so the colors could POP.

Oh this music cue is great!

YES! LET BAYLAN CUT LOOSE. Man is a beast.

Ahsoka's trying to disengage long enough to get the map. :((((

Ha ha, nice. Mandalorian trick.

Ooooof the map burned Ahsoka's hand?

Ahsoka where's your shoto blade?

Right, like Sabine's dinky little blaster is gonna do anything to that map, sure Ahsoka. You just burned your hand on how super overheated it was and all it was doing was generating hyperspace coordinates for a cross-galactic jump, you think a shot from a small firearm is gonna pierce it?

Oooooh that angle-back closed-eye look from Baylan... he's telepathically reading her like a book isn't he?

"Your family died on Mandalore because your Master didn't trust you." WELL I'M JUST GOING TO PATENTLY IGNORE THAT BECAUSE NO FILONI, YOU CANNOT JUST DROP THAT IN LIKE THAT.

Getting real tired of character motivations being reveals and not outright stated from the start.

ALSO WHAT EVEN THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT???!???

THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY NICE TO ACTUALLY SEE, OR YOU KNOW, TALK ABOUT BEFORE THIS MOMENT.

Anyway as I said, excising this bit entirely from my personal canon, Clan Wren is fine, they're just in hiding like all the other Mandalorian clans.

"And I... to serve a greater good." Ohhhhhhhhhhh I see what you did there, nice paralleling Baylan to Thrawn.

SABINE CHOOSES EZRA.

(I mean I knew it was coming because I was spoiled but still.)

Sabine, Sabine, my poor heartbroken babygirl, this is such a human choice, it's not the choice a Jedi should make but then Sabine isn't a Jedi, I maintain that this is all still playacting and cope that Ahsoka is indulging.

Sabine is falling into the classic Attachment trap but also there are no good choices here. She could try to destroy the map, but I seriously don't think it would work, and then Baylan would just kill her and take the map back anyway.

Maybe she could run but with their ship damaged she wouldn't make it far, she'd have to hide in the woods and avoid Shin and Baylan and whoever else she's stranded and fight them all off by herself for who knows how long until maybe Hera gets there. And she has no way of knowing if Hera's coming.

Oh ouch, I thought Sabine was having a "What have I done?" reaction to handing Baylan the map, but no, Shin is just choking her.

HERA MADE IT.

See it takes Baylan deliberate sustained direct contact with his lightsaber blade to destroy the map, no way was Sabine's blaster gonna do shit to it.

SABINE DID NOTHING WRONG, I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

Again, guys, this would have been the perfect sequence to have Zeb in.

Uhhhhhhhhh I would move away from the ring if I were y'all.

HO JEEZ.

OH BOY.

WELP.

Chopper sounds really unnerved.

THE WORLD BETWEEN WORLDS. THE STAR VOID.

Unless it's a weird-ass Force vision lol. Which is still possible.

Yeeeeeeeah I'm going with Force vision, Anakin should be blue and glowing, shouldn't he? Unless things work differently in here.

The Imperial March is not reassuring.

Okay well... that was a thing.

I'm starting to wish Deborah Chow had been showrunner for this, Filoni is doing... okay-ish (not really) but I really think this story needs and deserves a director willing to go all-in on the emotional resonance and beats of the story.

Which isn't to say the Kenobi show didn't have its problems (ho ho boy could I list the nitpicks and writing issues I had with it) but Ahsoka isn't quite reaching the highs it needs. Everything is way more subdued that I think it should be. I don't know how much of this is the writing, how much is the short mini-series format, how much is the cinematography or the directing.

THAT BEING SAID I AM HERE FOR SABINE MISSING EZRA SO MUCH SHE SACRIFICES HERSELF AND THE MAP FOR THE CHANCE TO FIND HIM.

See everything about her motivations makes so more sense if she's in love with him, sorry Filoni, the ship is still sailing.

Baylan got a bit more characterization here and got marginally more interesting, while Shin just... continues to be wet paper. RIP Marrok we hardly knew ye. Hope they explain the green mist shit soon.

Natasha's shoulders must be sore from carrying this show lol. Someone please let Sabine hug Ezra, she will feel so much better.

[weirdlotiel]

Ahsoka ep 5. (Involves cursing and spoilers. Not necessarily in that order)

Did I say I love music in this series?

Last week I was talking with my dad and explained what was happening in the series and he asked if Ahsoka Hera and the team will use Pergills to find their way to Ezra and Thrawn. Not a bad idea…

Even more Jacen!!! Yay😍😍😍

I totally forgot to notice it earlier bur he has his dad’s… arm thing.

Huyang with Sabine’s helmet 😭. And how he tild them to stay together. He was so sad😭😭😭

Ahsoka has this thing with crossing her arms.

Anakin gives me uneasy feeling.

What does “finishing her training “ means?

Wait, live or die? Really? Well, that was quite… obvious.

Jacen knows something. I mean, why would he sit at the edge of the cliff?

I love how Huyang is half right half wrong.😂

Hera, listen to your baby!!!! He knows something!!!!!

And she listens! Or at least tries to. I love this duo.

Wait… Jacen hears what is happening on “the other side”???? I love that boy😭😭😭😍😍😍(and he made me cry!!!)

Carson: what am I missing? What just happened?

Huyang: Jacen has abilities. His father, Kanan Jarrus, was a jedi.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (that was literally my reaction to this conversation)

Carson: okay, we better get on it then.

You mention jedi, they listen 😂

But still, why did Hera leave Jacen and Chopper alone ot there? What if some kind of beast appears? Or whatever?

Ahsoka- falls down through the clouds.

Me: don’t tell me there will be younger Soka?

Younger Ahsoka- appears.

Me: oh, she’s cute😂

Nice training btw… well, dealing with your past is almost never easy.

Was that a random clone she sat next to? Probably yeah. Sad.

The talk with anakin, right after that… isn’t this a real dialogue from Clone wars? Or at least part of it? When they tried to get through the blocade to Ryloth? (I was watching this ep few days ago)

I knew there was something wrong!!! Vader is there! Be careful Snips!!!

I do love Huyang talking about Ahsoka and Ani. 😂

What did Chopper sense? Maybe a Pergill?

Oh, Siege of Mandalore? Just great.

Ani is dark. Is that a darke side tempting her?

Yup. Red lightsaber. But it’s not temptation… a test? Maybe.

I do love seeing more Vader side of Anakin. Although it pains me. (Btw idk how about the rest of you guys, but I had a feeling since the previous episode that we’ll see him today)

Yay, Ani is Ani again!!!!

No, he disappeared.

Haha, Ahsoka was just floating under the water. I should’ve known.😂

Jacen’s face when he saw the Ghost coming back with Ahsoka😍. I love this boy.

Jacen wants a lightaber. Of course he does.

Learning the past through touching objects? I didn’t know Ahsoka could do that.

I think she’s disappointed. At least a lil bit.

Ouch, Hera is in trouble. I hope she’s gonna be fine. (I hate most of thise politicians, did I mention that?)

Soka saw Pergills!!!!!!

Hey, you fucking senators, Hera is the general. End of discussion.

Why do I have a feeling me and my pa were right about the Pergills?😂

I love our big, soace Whales. (I need an amoji for them😂)

Dang, that Pergill is huge!!!!

Carson: I respectfully disagree.

My translation: Go fuck yourself you idiots.

So Ahsoka is gonna pull Jonah’s trick. (Now which story am I talking about? Who’s gonna tell me?)

Although I wish Hera went too. (And I do hope we’ll still se her in next episodes.)

This episode made me more emotional than I wish it did. (Especially because there was a lot of Jacen. Yes, Imma keep talking about this baby boi. And because we have more Pergills)

[lightwise]

Ahsoka Episode 4 Spoilers/Thoughts

This was...a big one, to say the least.

Also note to self do NOT open tumblr while in the middle of watching an episode or you will be spoiled for that epic ending *sobs* oh well...

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

2/2 Star Wars characters repairing ship wiring on their back...v nice

Sabine, you realize none of you would be in this position if you hadn't squirreled away with the map in your tower...jus sayin...

"Can I count on you?" Yeah I'm gonna say that's a no...

Sabine loading her blasters is super cool but also giving me flashbacks to trying to reload staple gun or nail gun cartridges and hoping you don't launch them into your face in the process

Natasha plays Sabine's nervous energy very well and Rosario is showing Ahsoka's own unease, reserve, but also very caring concern, extremely well. I really wish we could see the history between these two--animated in between series anyone??

I wonder why Dave doesn't bring up the fact that Ahsoka owes Ezra her life. It's only focused on what Ezra means to Sabine, but he means a lot to Ahsoka too.

Huyang's lil hands on hips...you can tell he's a full practical build here.

Speaking of...I REALLY want to know if the practical robot was used for this fight scene, or if they switched to someone in a costume/CGI. It seems like the HK droids are people/CGI but I could be wrong about that. Either way, go Huyang go!

It's always a treat to see Mandos and Jedi fighting styles together. And Sabine's Wonder Woman vambrace block was great.

Ahsoka's white lightsabers are so stunning in live action.

"May I make one request of you both?" LISTEN TO HUYANG. HE KNOWS WHAT'S UP. "Stay together." And WHAT ARE THEY NOT GONNA DO SMH

"Mom, how come I have to do what I'm told and you don't" lmao

Jacen is so spunky and I'm so glad Dave is having him be a full part of the series.

Carson Teva my man! And Brendan!

BUT WHERE ARE ZEB AND KALLUS. WHERE ARE OUR MARRIED BOIS

"Faith? I lost that a long time ago" Baylon's backstory pleaseeeee. Who was his master. How far did he get in training. Was he knighted? Did he have a padawan pre-order 66? Where was he during the war? Where was he during Order 66? When did he walk away, and what did he walk away to? What are his goals now? How did he find Shin/why did he want to train her? We desperately need a comic or a book here Lucasfilm

The graphics for the countdown clock (and the droids manning them) are super cool

Shin dear lord can you be any more dramatic

Sabine and Shin running off like rabid wolves while Ahsoka is just like, oh please, do I really have to deal with this right now

Ahsoka > any inquisitor, dead or alive, magic or real, anytime, any place, any age LOL

Ugh the parallels to Obi-Wan and Maul are impeccable.

So I totally knew Marrok would be a nobody/throwaway character but a nightsister necromancer ghost??? Did not see that coming at all. Eerie

Shin seems honestly disturbed by seeing Marrok fall. I wonder if the body that was used was someone she knew or had a connection to.

The lightsaber usage in this show is so interesting and such a unique blend of samurai techniques, OT trilogy techniques, and more realistic stabbing and swiping and slicing motions. I love the choreography and cinematography of Shin and Sabine going at it as well as how the trees and landscape are used in their fight.

Looks like Shin got her dramatics from her master. Sitting there with his hood up for effect lol

Definitely getting flashbacks to Ahsoka's sass in her fight with Maul in TCW.

Baylon's textured armor is so incredible. I want to see him leading a 13th century cavalcade

Can he read people's minds? Or does he do in depth research like Thrawn does so he knows the weak points of his opponents?

“One must destroy in order to create.” No. You are incorrect sir. One must die. One must morph, must change, in order to create. But that is different than destroying.

Again with the one saber. It's such an odd choice for Ahsoka to do that, and it honestly feels like an excuse for Baylon to be able to overpower her later. I don't quite like it.

It is very interesting how Baylon views Ahsoka, and tells her that her legacy is death and broken promises. What exactly does he think her legacy is? Because that is Anakin's legacy, not hers (at least through Rebels). What has happened since then?

He looks so sad, honestly.

There's way too much leaving oneself open to attack in this episode.

The fight scene definitely looks slowed down a little, and it's a little clunky, but man Baylon is brutal with his saber. Again why is Ahsoka not using both of hers to combat is strength??

Either there's a trailer shot that never made it into this fight, or Baylon and Ahsoka fight again. I'm missing where she kicks back against one of those tall rocks and flips over. That was such a cool shot.

I honestly can't believe Shin was able to block the whistling birds lol. That would be an intense hit to the face. Also I love how much of the shots and sparks in these shows are practical. It makes it feel so much more real.

The map burning Ahsoka is wild. It makes sense but very unfortunate.

Hot damn Ahsoka! She definitely was tapping into some anger there. In real life that hit to the back of the head should have seriously injured Shin. Filoni is really being gritty and brutal with the fights in this show, they're raw and dirty in ways that the trilogies were not.

Aaaaaand while I know Ahsoka isn't dead yet (there's no way Filoni would kill off the title character halfway through a first season) holy cow that was heartwrenching

Baylon is a master manipulator. He makes Maul look like a babbling teenager. And yet he doesn't seem to derive any twisted pleasure from it. He just is doing what he thinks he needs to do.

I'm sorry Ahsoka had WHAT to do with Sabine's family dying???? In the Purge??? Ugh geez that's awful.

Gah DAMN it Sabine!! C'mon girl!! Bad decision, bad decision!

WHAT IS THIS GREATER GOOD BAYLON

I would have loved to see Obi-Wan face off against Baylon. The quiet patience and calm strength...too much for one room

He is just not done digging at Ahsoka is he. Again, master manipulator, but why?

Huyang's little magnifying glass!

Dave definitely nailed the lighting in this show. Even if the volume is still apparent in some shots, the lighting is finally dialed in and soft and realistic and atmospheric. That shot of Baylon after decimating the map is epic.

Yeahhh, Hera, ya'll might want to skedaddle right quick before you get....oh, too late....

"Mom? I've got a bad feeling." Me too kid, me too.

"Lady Wren, Lady Tano" *sobbing* Hera make sure Huyang makes it back pls

This transition.

Oh boy

I know what's coming bc I got on tumblr too early but OH MAN

ahhhh it's so gorgeous

it's here, it's finally here and it's BEAUTIFUL (The World Between Worlds, who did you think I was talking about, Anakin? ;)

I'm KIDDING ANAKIN IS BEAUTIFUL TOO OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES

"Hello Snips" I can't I truly can't

"I didn't expect to see you so soon" so is she dead? Dying? Disassociating while drowning? Dave if you kill Ahsoka off in this show I will never forgive you

She is in shock omg look at him she is reunited with her brother, her master, her friend!!

We think--DAVE WHAT DOES VADER THEME MEAN. DAVE, SIR, HOW DARE YOU KNOW HOW TO LEAVE US ON SUCH A CLIFFHANGER IT IS UNFAIR.

Welp I have no idea what to do with myself until next week and we find out what's going on here. I swear if that's not the real Anakin I will be beside myself.

Let's get ready for flashbacks folks. What an episode.

[dangraccoon]

Oyuba'din - Chapter 18: Reconciliation

Summary: Jaine comes across an old friend, Commander Tano helps Hunter, and Tech and Crosshair have a heartfelt conversation.

Warnings: curse-related amnesia, anxiety, guilt, vague reference to childhood trauma

Author's Note: sorry this took soooooo long to come out! I was hoping to get back to a regular schedule, but my job proved to be a little more insane than previously thought 😅 but I’m hoping to have some chapters queued up and hoping I’ll be able to post every other Monday! Keep an eye out!

« Previous Chapter Next Chapter »

Jaine was breathing heavily as she scurried through the Temple halls. Everything looked the same as she remembered, but she wasn’t quite sure where she was even trying to go. She’d only been here twice, and it was so long ago.

She tried to listen for the Force, or her intuition, taking turns that felt somewhat random and unpredictable.

Suddenly, as though she weren’t in control of herself, she slowed to a stop. A set of towering doors before her, she pressed her hand against it.

Something about the hall in which she found herself felt familiar. She wasn’t sure she really recognized it, but she just knew she had been here before.

“Jainera? Oh, stars, it is you!”

Someone was watching her, curiosity evident in their eyes.

When Jaine looked up, and her eyes met the soft gray of someone she could have sworn she’d met before.

“Ah, I think maybe you’ve had another…mishap,” they said, smiling gently at Jaine’s confused expression. “It’s no matter; I can always reintroduce myself.”

They extended their hands, taking one of Jaine’s hands between them.

“You’re…you’re a Jedi Healer, right?” Jaine asked, the touch of them beginning to remind her.

“Yes!” they beamed. “My name is-”

“Khawa!” Jaine gasped, a grin forming across her face despite the way her head ached. “You helped me after I’d-”

“Yes,” Khawa smiled sadly. “I only wish I had been able to help you more back then.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry if I seemed stubborn or-”

“Oh! No, no, no! You were the perfect patient!”

“A side effect of being the daughter of a healer,” Jaine shrugged.

“Sure, between that and your clumsiness,” Khawa smirked.

Jaine gasped, falsely scandalized. “How dare you!”

The pair laughed together, the sound warming Jaine’s heart.

“Come with me,” Khawa said, giving Jaine a curious look. “It seems we have much to catch up on.”

-

“All due respect, sir, but are you sure she came this way?” Hunter asked, trailing the padawan nervously.

“Ease your mind, Sergeant,” Ahsoka said, waving him off. “I know the sensory dampeners caused you to lose her trail, but I read her records; I think I know where she went.”

Hunter stopped in his tracks. “The…what?”

“What, the sensory dampeners?” she looked back at him, stopping as well. “Didn’t you notice that your senses have dulled here?”

“Of course I did,” he mumbled defensively. “But I didn’t know such a thing was possible.”

Ahsoka hummed, turning back to continue leading him through the halls. “For those of us with sensitive senses, it can be very helpful.”

Hunter considered this. Races like the togruta and twi’lek were very sensitive to their surroundings, their lekku almost like antennae. He knew how it felt.

“What did you find in her record?” Hunter asked, his attention shifting back to Jaine.

“Considering it’s a sealed record in the library of the Jedi Order, it’s a bit classified,” Ahsoka chuckled.

“Anything you can tell me?”

“We’re headed to the medical bay.”

“Great.”

-

Khawa’s laughter echoed throughout the medical bay, and they wiped away a stray tear that leaked from their eye. “Did- did he really just pick you up like that?”

Jaine rolled her eyes, but couldn’t stop the fond smile that grew across her face. “Yep. Just hefted me over his shoulder like it was nothing.”

“Bet you hated that, huh?” Khawa nudged her arm, winking conspiratorially.

“Oh, no. No, not you too!” Jaine collapsed dramatically, her face to the small table between them.

“So Sinya thinks you have a thing for the sargeant too then,” they laughed.

“Yes,” she groaned.

Khawa gently patted the back of Jaine’s head. “Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but as long as you’re on Coruscant, Sinya will be trying to get you two to hook up.”

“I know,” she lamented. “It’s just not going to happen. And besides, I’m pretty sure he hates me.”

“Oh, I doubt that,” Khawa whispered, lightly tapping Jaine’s arm.

“See, I told you I knew where she’d be,” Commander Tano announced, and Jaine’s head shot upwards.

“Jaine,” Hunter breathed, his voice flooded with relief as he came to kneel next to her.

Khawa made a face at her - somewhere between amusement, satisfaction, and curiosity, before walking to the doorway where Ahsoka was still standing, the two beginning to chatter quietly to themselves.

Jaine knew her pulse was pounding, and that he could hear it, but she couldn’t calm herself; not when he was looking at her like that.

“Hunter-”

“Jaine, I swear to you that we’re all okay,” he breathed, his voice barely louder than a whisper, but filled to the brim with emotion. “You certainly surprised us, but you didn’t hurt us.”

“I burned Crosshair! I threw you and Echo against a wall!”

“We’ve had worse,” Hunter shrugged, his eyes never leaving hers.

Jaine felt the sting of tears pricking at her eyes. “I can’t be the reason you get hurt,” she whispered. “Not any of you.”

The smell of the tears beginning to streak down her cheeks was breaking Hunter’s heart, and her usually earthy scent was marred by fear and anxiety.

“You could never hurt us, mesh’la,” he cooed, his hand cupping her cheek as he wiped the tears from it with his thumb.

“I already did,” she sobbed, not realizing the way she pressed her face into his hand, and definitely not noticing the way Hunter’s heart began to pound against his chest.

“I know you didn’t mean to,” he assured her. “Please, come back to the Marauder with me?”

Jaine swallowed. Hunter’s eyes were looking into her own so deeply, his warm hand against her cheek, and the slight smile as he asked her to go with him.

“Force, this is so sweet,” Khawa whispered to Ahsoka at the other end of the room, causing Hunter to whip his head towards them. Khawa squeaked as Hunter stared them down, and Ahsoka chuckled, pulling Khawa out of the room by their arm, despite their protests.

Jaine felt her face heat up, as though she had just realized the position they were in. She pulled her face away from his hand, awkwardly looking anywhere but at him.

Hunter missed the warmth of her cheek the moment it left his hand, but he pushed that feeling away.

“Please come with me,” he whispered, returning to his feet.

Jaine didn’t speak but nodded a little, accepting the hand that Hunter offered.

He squeezed her hand gently, savoring the feeling of her small hand in his own, trying not to feel hurt when she gently pulled it from his grasp.

-

“Damnit, Tech,” Crosshair hissed as Tech continued to care for his hand.

“Don’t be a child, Crosshair,” Tech said flatly.

“Maybe don’t press as hard?” Echo suggested quietly.

“Stow it, Echo,” Tech snapped, not looking away from his work for a moment. “It’s bad enough she burnt Crosshair’s hand, but now I’ll have to make repairs to the nodes of your chest implant. Maker only knows how much she hurt Hunter and he could still be in danger.”

“In danger?” Wrecker echoed.

“Yes,” Tech explained, the irritation he felt clearly showing through. “If he is with Lieutenant Vale, he could be in significant danger.”

Wrecker laughed, ignoring his brother’s tone. “Jainey isn’t ‘danger’! She’s so little, and she’s too nice to hurt ‘im.”

Tech scowled. “As always, I am the only one thinking clearly. Jaine Vale has already injured three members of this squad. Given her current unstable nature and the…powers she wields without formal training, it is more than likely that our squad will receive more injuries from her. Hunter’s original judgment was correct; she should be transferred out of our squad and, possibly, out of the GAR.”

“Tech,” Echo chided, placing a comforting hand on the shoulder of Wrecker, who was looking a bit like a kicked loth-wolf pup.

“What’s your problem?” Crosshair growled. “What happened that night you went to talk to her?”

Tech, finishing wrapping Crosshair’s hand, stood, straightening his goggles. “She incorrectly assumed I was there because I was having trouble sleeping. She brewed a tea with sedative properties and sent me off.”

He knew he was leaving out facts about that interaction. She was simply just doing her job. He didn’t correct her when she tried to deduce why he was pacing in front of her door so late at night, and it wasn’t as though she was incorrect; he was having trouble sleeping. Granted though that this was mostly due to his own guilt over his misplaced lack of trust.

He also knowingly left out the fact that she went on to explain why he was really there, opening up to him ever so slightly. It was like she had read his mind - something that not even Crosshair, his batch twin and best friend, could do.

He left out that the memory of how he’d felt that night - watching her work, the intimacy of her opening up to him, the tea, the way her voice lilted, the smell of her freshly washed hair that he caught when she sat so close to him - it all brought a buzzing sensation to his mind, like comm static, despite his anger with her now.

Tech especially left out his inappropriate request for a taste of more…physical intimacy, and his complete and utter regret that he’d stopped himself from hearing her answer. Or that the only time his mind was ever blissfully relaxed was in his sleep; that he didn’t dream often, yet that night he’d dreamt of her.

Returning himself to the moment, Tech knew his batch twin would be giving him a heated glare, and he could practically feel the anger rolling off of him.

“She was ‘incorrect’, was she?” Crosshair drawled, scowling at his brother. He knew Tech well enough to know that he wasn’t telling the full story.

Echo and Wrecker looked at each other with matching expressions of confusion, then towards Crosshair.

Crosshair looked at Echo with a face he hoped read as “please get Wrecker out of here”. Despite his anger with Tech, and his confidence that when the chips were down, Wrecker would have his back on the matter of Jaine, Crosshair knew his big, sensitive brother didn’t need to bear witness to the clash between his “baby brothers”.

Echo gave a subtle nod, muttering some excuse to Wrecker, and pushing him out of the room.

“You did not need to do that,” Tech said flatly as the door closed, leaving the pair of them alone.

Crosshair scoffed. “Do what? Spare the big guy from whatever banthashit you’re about to spew?”

Tech spun around to face Crosshair. “I am not-” he started, but upon seeing the utterly exasperated look on his brother’s face, he hesitated.

“Tech,” Crosshair murmured, patting the space next to him.

Tech took a deep breath, then plopped down next to his twin.

“Bic cuyir shi ni, ara'vod,” Crosshair whispered. [It’s only me, twin.]

Tech’s eyebrows shot up as he searched his brother’s face. “Gar su partaylir mando'a?” [You still remember mando’a?]

“Just enough to keep you on your toes,” Crosshair chuckled lightly, bumping Tech’s arm with his own.

Tech pushed back a little, rolling his eyes. The twins fell into a comfortable silence, just being near one another enough to calm their minds.

“You’re not going to ask?” Tech questioned nervously moments later. He was beginning to fidget, and Crosshair noticed. He also noticed how hard Tech was fighting not to fidget.

Crosshair shrugged. “You’ll tell me when you feel like it.” He noted that this was clearly not the response Tech was looking for as he watched his brother scowl at the floor.

Crosshair sighed. “What hap-”

“I was speechless!” Tech practically burst. “I was simply there to admit my own faults and apologize, then she opened the door and I just couldn’t say anything.”

“That…that’s remarkable. Did you note the time?”

Tech’s expression was unamused. “It was late and I couldn’t sleep-”

“Tech, I know this part, remember? I’m the one that talked you into apologizing?”

Tech thought back to that night, desperately trying to remember anything but her sleepy expression or the sound of her humming. Maker, he was right. He must be losing his mind.

“R-right,” Tech mumbled.

“Skip to the part where you couldn’t talk?” Crosshair suggested.

“You seem to have latched onto that idea,” Tech said, eyeing his brother, who barked out a short laugh.

“Moments when you can’t talk are very rare,” Crosshair grinned. “I can’t think of a single time you couldn’t find something to say.”

Tech rolled his eyes, shaking his head at his twin’s antics.

“And to think,” Crosshair goaded. “It was a little medic to finally get you to shut up.”

“Oh, shove it up your ass, Crosshair,” Tech groaned.

“Come on, brother,” Crosshair chuckled, elbowing Tech’s ribs gently. “Tell me what happened.”

Tech sighed again. “I can’t tell you.”

“Sure you can.”

“No, Cross, I can’t tell you,” Tech repeated, pointedly looking anywhere but at Crosshair.

Crosshair scowled a little, searching his brother’s face for answers. “Tech, if you can’t tell me, who can you tell?”

Tech didn’t answer, turning his face from his brother again. A quiet wave of harsh realization washed over Crosshair.

“Don’t do this, Tech,” he whispered. “Don’t push me away. Please, not again.”

Tech stood and began walking towards the door, but was stopped when Crosshair grabbed his wrist.

“Tech, please,” Crosshair practically begged, words spilling desperately from his lips. “Vi nu'cuyir ogir dar. Gar nu'vaabir linibar at haaranovor. Nu'vaabir haaranovor teh ni.” [We aren’t there any longer. You don’t need to hide. Don’t hide from me.]

Meh shi ibac rucuyir veman, ner vod, Tech thought as he collected himself and left Crosshair alone in the medbay. [If only that were true, my brother.]

Thanks for reading! - Dang

« Previous Chapter Next Chapter »

Masterlist

Taglist & Request Form

Read on Ao3

Requests are OPEN!

Current Request Queue: 0

Tags: @writing-positivelyexisting @nekotaetae @lokigirlszendaya @get-wr3ckered @flowered-bicycles @jediknightjana @idoubleswearimawriter @lucyysthings @error6gendernotfound @unstable-kiwi @6oceansofmoons @l3xiluve