#wish we knew more about ahsoka as a jedi

[jewishcissiekj]

Oh waitttttt I love Medstar

[darthgloris]

2AM THOUGHTS #5: Ahsoka snitching on Anakin to Y/N about his crush on her

Ahsoka looked over her shoulder and rolled her eyes with a small smile.

"What?" Y/N asked.

"My Master." She replied simply.

"What about him?" She wondered, looking back. She saw Anakin already staring at her with a charming smile. As soon as she met his eyes, she smiled back and offered him a small wave, which he returned gladly. She giggled at the thought of having his attention and turned around, returning to her conversation with the Padawan.

"That." Ahsoka deadpanned.

"Oh, come on, he's just being sweet." She dismissed with a wave.

"Is he?" She asked rhetorically. "You think he's sweet, you should hear the way he talks about you."

"What? What does he say?" Y/N wondered.

"Ugh, you have no idea! Do you know how many mornings I've spent listening to him whining over you and going 'she's such an angel, I don't know what we did to deserve her', 'I wish I could spoil her with everything she ever wanted', 'I'd leave the Jedi Order in a heartbeat if she asked', 'Maker, she's so intelligent, she makes everyone here look like a dog'-"

"Wait, wait, what?" She interrupted. "Anakin said he'd leave the Order for me?"

"He did. You turn him into mush just by existing," she confirmed. "He wants you so badly that if you complimented him, he'd die."

The realization of what she meant to him was a bit overwhelming, yes, but it made her happy. The happiest she had ever been. "That's... wow."

"What are you going to do about it?" Ahsoka asked.

"I... I don't know, I mean... he's amazing. He really, really is." She sighed, sitting on a rock.

"Do you like him?" The Padawan pushed, although she knew the answer as clearly as anyone with eyes.

"Of course I do, who wouldn't? I mean, he's sweet and kind and gentle, he's handsome, he's smart, he makes me laugh, and- oh."

Ahsoka raised an eyebrow, amused. "Gotcha."

"All right, then, I'm going to spend time with him more often." Y/N concluded.

"Starting now. Go." Ahsoka said and gave her a little push to where her Master was working.

Y/N walked closer to Anakin, who smiled brightly when he caught sight of her. "Hi."

"Hi," she replied, chuckling softly to herself. "What you doing?"

"Oh, just fixing this speeder. It got hit pretty bad during the battle." He sighed, hands on his hips as he examined his work from afar.

"How'd you fix it?" She asked, smiling fondly as she scooted closer to him.

"It's just boring stuff, you don't want to hear about it." He dismissed.

"No, tell me. I'm curious, I want to know." She smiled, resting her chin on his metal armour to peer at the ship. Through the Force, she could feel the butterflies erupting in his stomach. He loved when she took an interest in him and she knew it. Meanwhile, she felt sparks running through her body at the feeling of his toned muscles on her skin.

He let out a breathy chuckle before beginning his engineering rant. Her heart swelled with cuteness overload as he explained every step and every detail to her, and he looked so happy while doing it, as if one of his recurring daydreams had finally come true.

She wrapped her arms around his middle from the back, briefly nuzzling into his neck before turning her attention back to the ship. Her heart skipped a beat as she felt the muscles of his abdomen through his robes. Anakin froze as he felt her touch engulf him.

"Y/N..?" He hesitated.

"Yeah?" She asked, hoping he wouldn't make her pull away.

"Are you on death sticks?"

"No, Ani." She laughed, nuzzling her nose into the short curls on the back of his neck while she smiled.

"Well, then, um..." he hesitated. "...could you do this more often?"

"Aw, of course." She smiled as he melted into her embrace. He rested his hands on hers and continued explaining the final steps, every once in a while looking back to see her face.

When he finished, he was smiling like a happy child, finally getting the love and care he needed. They were both blushing furiously and smiling like idiots.

Ahsoka watched from afar with a smirk on her face, proud of her newfound matchmaking skills. Her heart burst with happiness as she saw Anakin press a kiss to Y/N's forehead, looking down at her as if she were his whole world.

Finally, the pining was over.

[squidthoughts]

why doesn't shin leave?

that's the question, right? there are secondary ones, of course – why didn't she kill sabine/was she sandbagging their duel/did she intentionally perform a nonfatal stabbing/was she sent there to interact with sabine at all, or just for the map.... but really, my question at the end of ep1 was:

why is she waiting here at all?

"we've been looking for this," shin says, and that's what, an accusation? conversation-starter? she's here to talk? maybe, okay – except she's actively thieving, so what can she be expecting by sticking around but a fight? so she secures the map and she waits for sabine. to fight her. but the question is still why and in my unqualified opinion i think the answer is found back here:

"ahsoka tano's former apprentice is on lothal."

what do we know about baylan? he was a jedi, once. he witnessed the purge of his order and adapted to a life of survival – he maintains certain jedi traditions, he passes these traditions to his padawan: the braid, the traditional construction of the lightsaber, if not the crystal inside (standing mystery, though). he is nostalgic but not melancholy, connected perhaps to the more elegant and noble history of the jedi but evidently strongly opposed to assuming that title at present.

what do we know about shin? well...almost nothing. except that when baylan speaks, shin listens. she obeys unquestioningly. when morgan speaks, shin watches baylan. they are close; there is mutual trust, though clearly more dependency on shin's side. and she is likely – though not certainly – born after order 66.

i'm confident answers will be forthcoming about shin's past, but in the meantime, working with the (very!!) little we have, assuming the subtle intricacies of the shot direction and ivanna's acting are all intentional, and with the full disclaimer that im brainrotty for wolfwren......i want to answer my original question.

shin has never seen another apprentice before. beyond baylan and inquisitors (apparently), she has probably never seen another lightsaber-wielder before. and yet – her master, while scorning the label of jedi, is steeped in jedi history. he seems to be training her according to some traditional jedi principles (though...what with the mass-murder and the mercenary work, of course we don't yet know the extent of those principles), and it would follow that he would have imparted the history of the jedi as well.

baylan skoll is not a jedi. but ahsoka tano is. or, was. but the antagonist squad refers to her as a jedi, so from shin's perspective it's not just "ahsoka tano's apprentice" on lothal. she is being told there is a real, live jedi apprentice on lothal.

and the jedi are extinct.

we're into the rampant speculation part of the meta now, because what is shin thinking in this moment?

there's a green lightsaber before her – a jedi apprentice before her – or at least the former-apprentice-of-a-jedi, but shin is the apprentice-of-a-former-jedi, and at some point the semantics get in the way of the exhilaration. this is probably (again, this whole thing could get disproven in the next episode or something) the first lightsaber battle shin has ever had with someone who might actually kill her. (i assume baylan wouldn't engage in prolicide while sparring.)

this is, i think, shin at her most excited. on the one hand – it's another apprentice! it's another member of an order (her order??) that was supposed to be wiped out! this is proof of concept maybe, that shin isn't so alone! and on the other hand – this is a test, no? like, the first real test of shin's full abilities, assuming she's never dueled before? again, i wish we knew more about her motivations, but it stands to reason a padawan that powerful and devoted would constantly be looking for ways to both prove and improve herself, right?

and then. sabine. sucks.

she's sloppy and weak and doesn't use the force. she's untrained and undisciplined and slow and gets tired too quickly.

shin starts blocking with one hand. she starts sidestepping sabine's wild swings. there's no way she's is trying to kill her at this point; shin is playing with her food.

i just...think she's disappointed?? like, she was probably expecting so much more from a proper jedi's apprentice, and i think we'd need more information about her to extrapolate what exactly she wants in this scene, but i'd be willing to bet it wasn't this sub-par, former-apprentice bitch-ass fight. (love to sabine but like. she did get her clock cleaned. obviously.)

regardless, i am excited to see how this experience influences the forestfight™ we know is on the way...and also if sabine, like, feels...anything....about being skewered like a county fair corn dog?? i mean trauma or anger or fear or drive or?? bc we know shin wasn't actually trying to kill her, (this is my official stance and im sticking to it) but sabine sure doesn't!!

[dalekofchaos]

Stuff like this is why I don't think the inhibitor chips were necessary.

Why make up bullshit chips that turn Clones into cartoonish "good soldiers follow orders" when Clones just naturally hating the Jedi for being incompetent generals getting their brothers in arms killed and then said brothers dying for traitors, but the real tragedy of it all is that it was all for a lie.

Order 66 was just an emergency order like the others one. For example Order 65 declared that the Chancellor is no longer able to rule the republic, therefore he has to be removed from office, if necessary with lethal force. If the jedi could have convinced the senate, that Palpatine was a sith who orchestrated the clone wars and the senate would vote for the Order 65, Palpatine would be attacked by clone troopers instead of the jedi.

These Orders were also no secret, they were written down and the clones trained these orders on Kamino a thousand times. The jedi just forgot, that the clones were fighting for the republic and not for them, and when the supreme commander of the army, in this case Palpatine because of his emergency powers, orders them to kill their field commanders, they would do so, without question, just like the kaminoans said.

In my opinion this makes a whole lot of great stories impossible like the relationship between Darman Skirata and Etain. Also it would make way more sense when Lucasfilm wants to show more survivors of Order 66, because the only clones in canon who didn't follow the order were the Bad Batch, Rex and Gregor. In Legends many clones just didn't follow the order because of their moral compass or thought it's a trap of the separatists and we could see how the clones deal with their decision to kill the jedi, in Legends some of them developed PTSD and other thought it was necessary.

In my opinion they just took a whole lot away of the personality and individuality of the clones with the inhibitor chips and turned them into mindless killer machines and I don't like that, especially after we see in the clone wars series their personality for the first time and see that the clones are individuals even when they look exactly the same, something the movies failed to show us.

Imagine a plot line where, instead of a chip telling them to betray the Jedi, troopers like Cody got a message telling them the Jedi had betrayed the Republic and attempted to murder the Chancellor. That the Jedi were now considered enemies of the Republic and had to be exterminated before they could overthrow the democracy. Forced to choose between the Jedi generals and the Republic and Supreme Chancellor, the unquestionably loyal Clones support the Republic.

It could have added many complex layers. The Clones have to live with their decisions. Maybe some regret it and wish they'd decided otherwise. Others feel their hand was forced. Others that the Jedi were traitors and never doubted their choice for a second.

Or the conflict of Rex. What if he'd been among the 501st attacking the Jedi Temple with Anakin, but split from them at the end of his own free will? Rex, who was always loyal to Anakin, and a close friend, breaks from him and flees. How does he feel about it? Does he feel he did the right thing by betraying Anakin to save the Jedi? Or does he feel he abandoned his Commander and should have stayed loyal? Maybe he struggles with it every day, wondering if he made the right choice. Or imagine if Anakin came for Ahsoka and was about to kill her and Rex chose Ahsoka over Order 66 because he knew in his heart it was wrong and tossed a flash grenade and fled with Ahsoka.

Overall, I feel like the inhibitor chip arc made the story of Order 66 somewhat boring and too black and white. It could have been a fantastic jumping off point for the complexities of mixed loyalties, of following orders, of the failures of the Republic and of the Jedi, of how not only Palpatine's villainy but his charisma and personality led to rigid loyalty among the clones.

And honestly I feel like the inhibitor chips were created to weasel out of complex storytelling, just like JJ Abrams weaseled out of dealing with Finn's PTSD of being a child soldier.

[countessofravenclaw]

I wonder how many times Luke had to hear: "If only Bridger was here" during the preparations for the death star assault. Because like, Ezra and Kanan were the Jedi of the rebellion before Luke was. Did anyone even know that Luke had the force in the New Hope, because he barely knew himself.

Surely the rest of the rebellion wished that Ezra was still there, because he would have extremely valuable asset for the in the battle of Yavin, because he was a Jedi.

If he would have been there, he would have been one of the most vocal points of the plan. Luke succeeded because ghost Obi Wan told him to use the force, if Ezra would have been there, the plan would have been using the force in the first place. Just like during Secret Cargo, where Ezra used the force to defeat the tie defender, or during the battle Atollon when it had to be Ezra to be the one to find the way to escape to get help, because he was a jedi and had the best chance.

Luka obviously would have been the better pilot, since he has the genes, but Ezra was part of one of the founding cells of the rebellion. He had close relatioships with both Mom Mothma and Leia.

Like it or not, he also was the more advanced Jedi at the time. Ezra was finding news aspects of the force, getting rid of the one the most dangerous imperial officers and resisting Palpatines tenptation while Luke was farming moisture and wanting to join the imperial army.

Luka was Rebellion's jedi savior only because Ezra wasn't around and Kanan was dead. This is a hot take, but true if you search your feelings.

I wonder how much Luke knew about Ezra. Through some book, we know that he something of Kanan, probably from Hera, but what about Ezra and why he wasn't with the rebellion anymore.

I am honestly hoping so much that they meet in the Ahsoka show

[aniharas]

𝘪𝘧 𝘵𝘰𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 | 𝘵𝘸𝘰

pairing: anakin skywalker x padawan!fem!reader

summary: you are unfairly restricted from assisting your master in assignments, and you and your best friend, ahsoka tano, figure out who was behind all of it.

warnings: implied sexual content, miscommunication, angst, hurt/comfort

wc: 6.6+ split into three parts

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three

a/n: inspired by blouse by clairo!

"(Y/N)! Wait! You've got to confront Master Kenobi, this isn't fair!" your fellow padawan and good friend, Ahsoka Tano, called after you as she struggled to keep your angry, unwavering pace down the hall, away from the Jedi Council's quarters. You slid your fingers through your hair, feeling as if you could almost rip them from your scalp. The Jedi Council had called you in to discuss the raid on Kamino, describing your actions as "irresponsible" and "sloppy". They ultimately decided you were unfit for real combat and were to undergo training in the Jedi Temple for a year until you could fight alongside your master responsibly. 

To say you were angry was an understatement. You swore every stomp could be heard throughout the temple. You had only been able to accompany your master on his assignments half a year ago, and now that freedom was going to be taken away again? The longer you stayed cooped up within the Jedi Temple, the more the hallways seemed to spin. It was nauseating, and your master knew how much you longed for a mission. He also knew how capable you were to handle yourself out there...if anything, you definitely did handle yourself at Kamino just fine.

"I don't get it, why would my master do this?" You muttered as you slowed down your pace for Ahsoka to catch up, turning to her once she finally did. You both retired by a nearby staircase, plopping yourselves down to take a break. "He's not one to punish like this..."

Ahsoka huffed in deep thought, gazing at you sympathetically as she pushed your hair behind your ear. "I mean, you saved him, didn't you? There's no way he's angry at you for-"

Your Togruta sidekick cut herself off, pausing as if she had a revelation. She then turned to you, eyes blown wide as she gripped you by the shoulders. Pain shot up through every nerve in your shoulder, earning her a glare from you and her giving an apologetic look in return.

"(Y/N)...what if Obi-Wan didn't do this to you?" She suggested, loosening her grip on you, her eyes visibly lost in thought. "It must've been-"

"Who else other than my master would do this to me?!" You felt bad for interrupting her. since you know she wasn't fond of that, but she didn't care as she continued to look at you, her eyes prodding for you to figure out the answer.

You thought back to the mission. We landed at Kamino. Master Kenobi fought with General Grevious and almost fell to his death. I swooped in with my aircraft and saved him, and I got injured. I ushered him to safety. I helped bring Master to the medical ward. He scolded me, but he seemed grateful I was there. You paused.

Anakin comes in screaming like a madman about how I wasn't ready.

At this point, you were tired of the feeling of piping hot tears building up and slipping down your face, but whenever it came to that particular Jedi, you couldn't help yourself. He always seemed to unravel you, and it never seemed fair to you. Why did he do this to you? To keep you in Coruscant to make sure you were in one piece so he could screw you after his assignments? You wanted to be more than a plaything to him, you wished he saw you as an equal...you wished he even saw you at all.

Shamefully, your hands were your curtains as you hid your face, sobbing into Ahsoka's shoulder as she held you close and caressed your head. She didn't know about what went on between you and her master, but she was smart enough to sense a tension.

"Ugh! I oughta give that Skyguy a piece of my mind," she threatened with a scowl on her face, letting up her scary demeanor briefly to press a kiss to the top of your head. "You didn't do anything wrong. He's always been so weird to you for no reason. I'm supposed to spar with him in a bit...if you want me to talk to him, I can."

Shaking your head, you removed your hands from your face, your skin wet and splotchy from your tears. You didn't want to drag Ahsoka in to the mess that was you and Anakin. Reluctantly pulling away from her embrace, you continued your descent down the stairs towards your dormitories. "I'll see you later, Ahsoka."

You knew she wasn't going to be satisfied with that answer, but you hoped she wouldn't do anything too rash.

-

Anakin tried to not dwell on the thought of you. He kept trying to convince himself that restricting your Jedi training was reasonable, but the guilt of lying to the Council for his own selfishness kept creeping back. It was crawling under his skin, constantly sending shivers down his spine. He couldn't wait to finish up Ahsoka's sparring so he could retire to his quarters and relax.

"SKYGUY! Why are you such a prick?! How could you do that to (Y/N)?"

Alas, a lesson he constantly learned at the Jedi Temple is that he could never get what he wanted. He heard Ahsoka stalk up to him, stopping right behind him. He took a deep breath, brandishing his deactivated lightsaber as he turned to face his padawan. "I'm not aware of such a thi-"

The last thing he expected was the tip of Ahsoka's lit-up lightsaber directly in his face. After wincing at the heat, he gave her a condescending look, and she seemed to shrink a bit, retracting her lightsaber and holding it at her side.

"Please don't make me do chores for that, master...I'm just mad at you. (Y/N) and I know that you were the one that talked to the Jedi Council about her. You can bully other padawans, I don't care. But you know how easily worked up I get about her!" Ahsoka explained, defiantly crossing her arms as she gave him her death glare.

Suddenly, Anakin found the corner of his lips tugging up a bit. He knew what it was like to get worked up about you, it was the whole reason why he lied to the Council in the first place.

There it was. The twinge of guilt from lying about you to the people you both looked up to. He knew you didn't deserve it at all, but it was the only way to ensure that he would get to keep you. Seemingly out of nowhere, he found it hard to meet his padawan's eyes, indicating his guilt, and in turn infuriating her. She grunted in her anger, kicking a nearby deactivated practice droid to calm herself down. Anakin watched blankly, and he couldn't help but think about how you handled yourself when you were angry.

When something was troubling you, you didn't cause a scene like Ahsoka. No, you would keep to yourself and your friends. Your lips would be sealed shut until you were feeling okay again. You would keep your head down, but you would watch and listen intently. It was only then that Anakin realized that you've been troubled ever since the medical ward, no, ever since the morning of the Kamino raid.

"If you're going to bully anyone, bully me. I'm your apprentice!" Ahsoka's shrill voice sliced straight through his thoughts. "You have to fix this! Do you realize how unfair it is-"

"You don't think I know how unfair it is?!" Anakin shouted back at his padawan, utterly shocking her and making her take a step back. Gripping his hair, nearly white-knuckling, he turned his back on Ahsoka. "I know very well how unfair it is. (Y/N) is just going through what I went through as a padawan. It's normal. I am doing this for her safety since Obi-Wan doesn't know how to handle her," he answered shakily as he tried to regulate his thoughts, but it was impossible with the sound of his pounding heartbeat drumming in his ears.

"But she only had a couple grazes-"

"I would prefer if she had none at all."

Ahsoka was taken aback by her master's answers, for once finding herself at a loss for words. Since when did Anakin feel so strongly for you? Had she just been too caught up in her apprenticeship to notice? No, she would notice something like this. He barely even looked at or talked to you. She furrowed her brows at the thought, her fury rising once again to come to your defense.

"If you cared so much about her, you should've known how this would make her feel, master," Ahsoka scoffed, arms crossed, prepared to search for answers. Anakin stood there, him now at a loss for words. He wished that he hadn't helped nurture Ahsoka's sharp tongue, but she was right. He knew that he caused all this, the reason why you and he spent those nights together in the first place. The shame of inhibiting your progress, ignoring you, pulling you into his mess in the first place felt like it was all crumbling down onto him like rocks and boulders, feeling like he was being pelted with every word from Ahsoka.

"Listen, master, I don't know what your deal with (Y/N) is. I don't know if you have a crush on her or if you feel protective of her because you guys were brought up the same way. Who knows what's going on between you two? And I won't even bring up how all of this goes against many aspects of the Jedi Code, but just know that you went too far. You're not protecting her, you're just selfish. Besides, how could you say all of this when you pretend she isn't even there? She pretty much hates you now, you can't even treat her like a person, and you-"

But Anakin couldn't bring himself to stay and listen to the rest of Ahsoka's berating. He had to find you. He made a run for it, leaving his padawan alone in the training room, all while honing in on the Force to get a sense as to where you would be. Once he focused, he realized that your troubled state of mind was easy to detect. How could he be so caught up in his own feelings and desires that he failed to notice yours? It was like when he chased you to the medical ward, his body could barely keep up with the speed of his feet, his mind nothing but a distressed frenzy. His body has been through far more intense obstacles before, but the stakes of any mission never felt as high as the stake of you. His heart seemed to seize and splutter with every other step, and each one had him worry if he had ruined everything with you entirely.

He couldn't lose those nights with you, the secret meetings that became dear to his heart, unbeknownst to him. He craved the way your skin felt under his rough, battle-worn hands as he connected your birthmarks and scars together like a constellation. The sounds of your labored breathing and rapid heartbeat always matched his own, bringing him an overwhelming clarity. With every blink, your ever-so-versatile eyes stared right back at him. Teasing him, tantalizing him. Wanting him, studying him. You saw him for more than what he brought to the surface, made him feel capable of being needed, being loved.

Anakin never stopped once to take a break until he was met with the shut door of your dormitory. The way he banged on the door would make anyone think there was an emergency.

He couldn't lose you.

next chapter

[antianakin]

Tbh I really wish they had Ahsoka address that her idealized version of Anakin isn't reality and never was. And that's a common abuse survivor thing! Literally wouldn't be difficult to put in her character. Iirc Force Vision Anakin basically said something like "you never learn" because she still is just running instead of facing the fact Anakin's fall was never about her and never her fault. There were signs certainly but scattered across a long period of time and with different people.

I wish we could get Huyang pointing out that holding onto the past and her child version of Anakin isn't healthy and honestly an ancient Jedi droid would be literally the perfect character. Not to mention her habit of running instead of facing it head on. There's this great opportunity here for the character and while I'm losing hope, if not Huyang than someone like Ezra, a character who's learned to let go. Ahsoka's biggest flaw at this point is her inability to move forward and that needs to be addressed before giving her more powers.

I was actually JUST thinking last night that it would've been SO COOL to have Huyang sort-of step in as a surrogate Master for Ahsoka to help point out the fallacies in her unhealthy coping mechanisms and way of looking at things. Like when Ahsoka says "the Jedi failed", Huyang points out that actually they didn't, or at least, if they failed then it's not their fault and CERTAINLY not because they didn't allow in enough people who weren't Force sensitive. When she pushes about Sabine, he can point out that not only would the Order not have accepted her, there's a REASON she wouldn't necessarily be happy as a Jedi and it's not healthy for either of them for Ahsoka to try to push Sabine to acquire skills she quite simply does not and cannot ever have.

And of course, with Anakin, he can be even more explicit.

One of the things they've given Huyang as a characterization in this show is the ability to be very bluntly honest sometimes. What's frustrating is that one of the few places he ISN'T is when the topic of Anakin comes up. He tells Sabine that she's a terrible Padawan, worst he's ever seen. He tells Hera that people like her because she disobeys orders when she cares about things. But when asked about Anakin, the most he says is that Anakin was "intense." That's it. It might've been interesting for Huyang to be a little less vague about Anakin and perhaps one of the ONLY people Ahsoka's ever actually told about Anakin having been Vader and so he can speak to that more candidly and honestly. He wasn't just "intense," he was a traitor. He broke his vows, he disrespected everything the Jedi stood for, he was a murderer. You could explain away his vagueness about Anakin by having Ahsoka say that she wants this to remain a secret, that she never told the Ghost crew about her master's true identity and she doesn't want them to know because of how she thinks it might change the way they look at her. So maybe he's more candid with Ahsoka herself, but when Hera asks, the best he can say is "intense."

Have Ahsoka tell Huyang that Anakin was a good Master, and Huyang can point out that, while that may have been true at one point, it wasn't ALWAYS true. It didn't REMAIN true. He betrayed her. He tried to kill her. He refused to come back for her. Because one of the things Ahsoka was struggling with in Rebels was figuring out how to connect the Anakin she knew as a child with what she knew of Darth Vader and what caused Anakin to change so much. It might've been interesting to have Ahsoka recognize that there were pieces of Vader in the Anakin she knew, too, even if she didn't recognize it at the time. There were secrets he kept from her, moments where he could get SO ANGRY. It might've been interesting for her to discuss that terrible awful training from TOTJ and have Huyang point out just how fuck awful that kind of training truly was. Even if it was done out of a desire to protect her, that didn't actually make it okay or a valid method of training. No true Jedi would have asked that of her or done that to her, not because they were weak, but because all she would've learned from it was FEAR. And every true Jedi knows that strength doesn't only come from pain.

Ahsoka can still ultimately choose to forgive him and choose to focus on the good memories she still has of him, but she can ALSO choose to accept that he betrayed her and that he was a bad master. Anakin was both. He was someone who cared about her, and she DID learn some good lessons from him, but he also impacted her in ways that were decidedly negative. Forgiving him should require accepting BOTH. It's not even just "He did his best" although that gets us a LOT closer to the desired goal here, it's more like "He wasn't all bad."

I don't know, I think there could've been a LOT more complexity given to Anakin and Ahsoka and their relationship in this show and what we got was just... so so shallow. And to be honest, that's this show's biggest sin, just how SHALLOW all of it is. I'm not at all shocked that Filoni, who called Anakin the "greatest Jedi of all time", is choosing to portray Anakin in this way and sort-of... erase and gloss over his sins to just declare him a "good master." But it's still disappointing because there's so many really interesting ways this show could've explored Ahsoka and it chose none of them.

I think about that line from Rebels when Maul tells Obi-Wan "Look how far you've fallen" and Obi-Wan retorts, "Look what I have risen above." Because that's the core of Obi-Wan, right, he RISES ABOVE Anakin. He rises above Anakin's mistakes and failures, he rises above Anakin's betrayal, he rises above his losses and grief to become better than Anakin ever could. He doesn't let Anakin's failures become his own, he doesn't let Anakin's darkness drag him down alongside. And I feel like they're trying to go for something similar with Ahsoka here, but they just aren't reaching it. Because in order to have Ahsoka rise above, they first need to acknowledge that there's something there TO rise above.

I don't have any hope left in this show, it's made its stance clear and there's only a single episode left in this season. It's not going to suddenly decide to criticize Anakin NOW, and Ahsoka's already had her glow-up emotional climax like 2-3 episodes too early. This show is what it is at this point.

[kanansdume]

I wish we'd gotten a more Rebels-accurate Sabine because THAT Sabine interacting with Huyang could've been so absolutely heart-wrenching.

Because Sabine generally understood the cost of the Empire, obviously, she was in the Academy, she knew Kanan and would've seen the grief and trauma he carried with him, etc. But Mandalore was still standing. Most of its people were still around. It wasn't quite the same experience for her as it would've been for Kanan.

And Ahsoka seems to be fairly removed from that at this point, it doesn't impact her much. Either she's chosen to "just move on" or she's intentionally repressing how upset and grief-stricken she STILL IS over it, and either way is not treating Huyang well. She clings to Huyang because he's a last remnant of this thing that she lost but she dismisses him and disregards everything he says because she's so messed up still that she can't help but make him the recipient of all of her frustrations.

But Sabine has now lost her planet. Mandalore was glassed. And you can even keep in that her family were very unluckily ON Mandalore when that happened instead of on Krownest and are now all dead as a result. She's lost her home and her family in one fell swoop and can't really ever get that back.

And before, she just sort-of stayed out of Huyang and Ahsoka's relationship. She didn't know Huyang before and he never seems all that upset about how Ahsoka treats him, so it's not really her business to butt in even though sometimes it makes her uncomfortable because, well, sometimes Huyang is RIGHT. But now, she looks at Ahsoka and Huyang and refuses to treat Huyang like his wealth of knowledge and his desire to stick to his programming don't matter. She stands up for Huyang more, she asks him to tell stories about the Jedi, she asks him about all of the younglings he taught, she asks him about the lightsabers he's watched Jedi make and what the differences are. She knows Ahsoka is suffering under her own grief, but that doesn't mean it's okay to treat another survivor like shit just because they're coping differently.

And so we get a comparison between how Ahsoka and Sabine treat Huyang and the difficulties Ahsoka still has with the personal impact of Anakin's betrayal, her feelings about the Jedi from her experiences as a teenager, and the loss of the Jedi as the loss of the only home and family she'd have ever known. She can never settle anywhere because the last time she settled somewhere, she lost it. It's safer not to. Sabine disagrees. Mandalore may be gone and Clan Wren along with it, but she still has Lothal and she still has the rest of the Ghost crew. Her losses are massive, but that doesn't mean it isn't still worth it to look at what you still DO have and recognize its worth.

Sabine treats Huyang well because she GETS IT now. She gets what it's like to lose everything and have what little you still have left mean all that much more in comparison. All Huyang has now is this ship, the information stored in it, the lightsaber parts he's kept safe for so long, and his memories and protocols and programming. Losing the programming and the Jedi protocols just means losing even MORE of the culture he'd been a part of for so long, why would he ever want to get rid of it or change it? Why SHOULD he? It's important to him and it's all he has left, what kind of monster would condemn him for that and ask him to give it up just because it's convenient?

[aburningconstellation]

i first met ahsoka tano when we were both children. i knew what it felt like to have people look down on you & underestimate you for being a young girl. her bluster and need to be seen as an equal and insistence that she was capable were my own. i believed i could do anything i set my mind to & wanted other people to know that i could too.

i don’t need help. i can do it all on my own. you don’t need to take care of me. i can take care of myself.

but being shown those moments of her childhood tonight felt like i was only just now experiencing the fullness of them. and it made me so deeply sad. it happened a bit in tales of the jedi too, but something about being an adult & watching young ahsoka go through trials of the clone wars for the first time really just drives home how young she is & how out of place it is for her to be doing what she’s doing.

because that is a literal child ! she is so small & young ! she should be doing anything else right now ! she should be in science class or having sleepovers or inventing code words with friends to talk about the people they have crushes on in public ! she shouldn’t be fighting in this war. no one should be asking her to. but they are. i wasn’t able to see it then, but it’s all i can think about now.

and it just makes me think about that old need for people to take me seriously turning me into an adult way before i was meant to be one. how small i was when i though i first thought i knew everything. how small i felt when i realized i didn’t.

maybe it is something we must all face. in our own way. in our own time. but i am grateful for ahsoka tano now, much like i was then. for showing me that after that loss of what could have been and the version of my girlhood i wish i could give to myself now - there is a path forward. towards light & life. that there is goodness to be striven towards. that i can offer more to the world than the sadness i carry with me about the way it has treated me.

because she has always been me. and a part of me will always be her. i think i’m beginning to understand the lesson she is teaching me now. i can’t wait to meet the person i am when i encounter the next one.

[tragedy-for-sale]

On You're Own, Kid.

Everyone has a moment when they realize the person they looked up to wasn't a hero, they're a normal person. Ahsoka remembers the day she started to see Captain Rex as a person too. TW for death and gore

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

Ahsoka Tano was 14. She was 14 and fighting in a war. A bloody war. Identical men bleed into one. She remembered wanting to come along with Rex to look for survivors. He didn't want her to and know she knew why. "-All we found were dead bodies." Ahsoka mumbled. They were in the Med Bay, Rex sat perfectly still as a droid patched his face.

"Yup." Rex's tone was dry. He didn't want the damn kid to come with him but Anakin- he whinced, his rage weakened his composure. Ahsoka frowned, looking over at Rex's blood soaked armor. He dug through body after body, bloody and broken. Ahsoka never wanted to do that again. She could sense Rex's agitation but she was hoping it wasn't her that upset him. She didn't even do anything. She followed him, arms over her chest wanting to hide.

She brought a med kit with her, she remembered soldiers giving her a look that she now understood. They disapproved and she wished someone told her they weren't going out there for survivors, they were going out there for the dead. Rex walked calmly among the bodies, as if their deaths wouldn't haunt him. He only checked vitals for half of them, but for all them, Rex knelt down, whispered something and ripped a chain from their neck. "I shouldn't have gone with you."

"-But you did." Rex didn't look at her and he didn't comfort her. Ahsoka was expecting both. Anakin and Obi-Wan always took their time explaining death to her, they always made sure she was okay, but Rex didn't look at her, he made it clear he didn't give a damn about how she felt.

"Do you do that after every battle?"

"Always."

"Just you?"

"Just me." Rex's face twitched before his hand swung up and gripped the droid's arm, sending it into distress. Ahsoka jumped from Rex's sudden movement, he hadn't move at all before just then. Rex let the droid go before finally turning to Ahsoka. "It's my duty, not just as a Captain, but as a brother. My men, my brothers, died today. All their deaths will go unmourned by the rest of the galaxy, but I know the name of every brother lost today and that is what I carry." His voice was grim, he was gritting his teeth, angry at the world but Ahsoka thought him angry at her.

Ahsoka watched Rex stand up, unbothered by the dry blood that caked his armor. Ahsoka pulled her knees to her chest as she looked at the floor. She wasn't supposed to be doing this, she wasn't supposed to ever be fighting a war. She was a Jedi, she was supposed to be at the temple with her family not on a cruiser in cold space with an equally as cold captain. Rex shouldn't have existed. Every man that died today should never have died because they should never have been made. What was the point of this war?

"... This isn't what I'm supposed to be doing." Ahsoka felt her face become hot. "I'm not supposed to be fighting a war," She started to cry. Rex turned and had to force his disgusted look off his face. Soldiers don't cry. "I'm supposed to have a Master and he's supposed to take me to negotiations and relief missions and, and-"

"Commander- commander." Rex tried to cut her off, he walked towards her, he didn't know what to do. He wasn't supposed to be doing this. He wasn't supposed to be counseling a kid, babysitting her and thinking about her feelings. He wasn't supposed to be clearing a path so a hand didn't fall on her foot and make her more scared than she clearly was. He was a soldier, he wasn't supposed to care about someone's well being because no one ever cared about his.

Ahsoka didn't stop crying and Rex was started to panic. "Kid, kid-" He pleaded, "A-Ahsoka, stop crying." He was at a loss. Ahsoka looked up and wiped her eyes.

"You're covered in blood, and it's not even yours, how does that not make you so sad?" Ahsoka started to bawl and Rex jumped back, he wanted to nope the hell out of this room. "We walked through dead bodies and you didn't even flinch once, you didn't even cry!" She wailed and wailed, frantically wiping her eyes, hating that this was where she was.

"Ahsoka-" Rex took off his gloves, his hands didn't have blood on them, "Kid, look, look, stop crying," He knelt down and looked up at Ahsoka. She wiped her eyes and sniffled, trying her best to listen. Rex let out a sigh, "Look, most of time people look at where they are in life and are dissatisfied with where they are 'cause they don't see it's where they're meant to be." He started to explain, "When I was a cadet, I never understood what I was training for and I never really wanted to do it if I'm honest, but as I grew I found acceptance that this is just how my life is going to go, so I found meaning in it."

He grabbed a tissue and wiped Ahsoka's face, "You're still a kid, and you're being exposed to heavy things way too early for my taste, but maybe there's a reason?" He sighed, "You're a strong kid, Ahsoka, and you're gonna be a great Jedi, you're already a great Commander. So just take it one day at a time, reflect on the pain this war causes you and carry your heart with you in everything you do..." He trailed off, he thought he sounded rather smart just then, he just hoped Ahsoka thought so too.

She looked at him and tried to smile. He'd been so cold but now he sounded like Anakin, trying so hard to help her find her place. "Thank you, Rex." She whispered as she wiped her eyes. Rex half smiled and nodded.

"Of course, 'soka"

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

[tarisilmarwen]

Ahsoka "Fallen Jedi" Liveblog

Let's go let's go let's go let's go let's goooooooooooooo!

Oh I'm so excited for this I already know there are Developments.

Hype hype hype hype.

Oh we're starting off with complete silence are we? Okay.

Sabine trying to raise Hera. :(

Ahhhh yes it's the "Ahsoka and Sabine butting heads about saving Ezra versus stopping Thrawn" convo Sabezra fandom predicted.

"Can I count on you?" Low blow Ahsoka, recalling Ezra's own words.

"I know how much Ezra means to you." *falls into this line, dies*

Oh don't let Huyang get shot, come on now, you already had him get blasted once.

Buncha trailer shots in this episode I'm guessing.

"Stay together. You always did better that way, in my opinion." Ha ha ha this would be a sweet line if we had ever actually SEEN Ahsoka and Sabine working together. *grumbles*

Hera going off by herself to go help Sabine and Ahsoka lolol. That little face she makes when she says, "Watch me."

Baby Jacen is still super precious.

The GHOOOOOOOOOOSSST!

This sequence would have been the perfect spot to drop Zeb in, you know. Just saying.

Go girls go, go, go, you need to get on that ship before it leaves!

And it's my favorite new villain couple.

If Shin could have a bit more personality she'd be more interesting but "feral" is wearing thin.

OH AND NOW WE HAVE A TICKING CLOCK DEVICE.

There were people complaining that this moment where Ahsoka wipes Marrok was lifted from "Twin Suns" but in context... no it's just Dave's usual thing for cool samurai finishers.

Oh wow Shin looks extremely unnerved at Marrok dissipating into green Nightsister mist.

Did... Morgan take all the guards and droids with her? Just leaving Baylan there by himself to handle Ahsoka huh? What a bitch.

"One must destroy in order to create." Nooooooooo they really don't Baylan, that's grade A horseshit.

And stinks of Empire and Sith apologism.

The map is gorgeous. Wish they'd turn the saturation and contrast up just a smidge more so the colors could POP.

Oh this music cue is great!

YES! LET BAYLAN CUT LOOSE. Man is a beast.

Ahsoka's trying to disengage long enough to get the map. :((((

Ha ha, nice. Mandalorian trick.

Ooooof the map burned Ahsoka's hand?

Ahsoka where's your shoto blade?

Right, like Sabine's dinky little blaster is gonna do anything to that map, sure Ahsoka. You just burned your hand on how super overheated it was and all it was doing was generating hyperspace coordinates for a cross-galactic jump, you think a shot from a small firearm is gonna pierce it?

Oooooh that angle-back closed-eye look from Baylan... he's telepathically reading her like a book isn't he?

"Your family died on Mandalore because your Master didn't trust you." WELL I'M JUST GOING TO PATENTLY IGNORE THAT BECAUSE NO FILONI, YOU CANNOT JUST DROP THAT IN LIKE THAT.

Getting real tired of character motivations being reveals and not outright stated from the start.

ALSO WHAT EVEN THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT???!???

THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY NICE TO ACTUALLY SEE, OR YOU KNOW, TALK ABOUT BEFORE THIS MOMENT.

Anyway as I said, excising this bit entirely from my personal canon, Clan Wren is fine, they're just in hiding like all the other Mandalorian clans.

"And I... to serve a greater good." Ohhhhhhhhhhh I see what you did there, nice paralleling Baylan to Thrawn.

SABINE CHOOSES EZRA.

(I mean I knew it was coming because I was spoiled but still.)

Sabine, Sabine, my poor heartbroken babygirl, this is such a human choice, it's not the choice a Jedi should make but then Sabine isn't a Jedi, I maintain that this is all still playacting and cope that Ahsoka is indulging.

Sabine is falling into the classic Attachment trap but also there are no good choices here. She could try to destroy the map, but I seriously don't think it would work, and then Baylan would just kill her and take the map back anyway.

Maybe she could run but with their ship damaged she wouldn't make it far, she'd have to hide in the woods and avoid Shin and Baylan and whoever else she's stranded and fight them all off by herself for who knows how long until maybe Hera gets there. And she has no way of knowing if Hera's coming.

Oh ouch, I thought Sabine was having a "What have I done?" reaction to handing Baylan the map, but no, Shin is just choking her.

HERA MADE IT.

See it takes Baylan deliberate sustained direct contact with his lightsaber blade to destroy the map, no way was Sabine's blaster gonna do shit to it.

SABINE DID NOTHING WRONG, I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL.

Again, guys, this would have been the perfect sequence to have Zeb in.

Uhhhhhhhhh I would move away from the ring if I were y'all.

HO JEEZ.

OH BOY.

WELP.

Chopper sounds really unnerved.

THE WORLD BETWEEN WORLDS. THE STAR VOID.

Unless it's a weird-ass Force vision lol. Which is still possible.

Yeeeeeeeah I'm going with Force vision, Anakin should be blue and glowing, shouldn't he? Unless things work differently in here.

The Imperial March is not reassuring.

Okay well... that was a thing.

I'm starting to wish Deborah Chow had been showrunner for this, Filoni is doing... okay-ish (not really) but I really think this story needs and deserves a director willing to go all-in on the emotional resonance and beats of the story.

Which isn't to say the Kenobi show didn't have its problems (ho ho boy could I list the nitpicks and writing issues I had with it) but Ahsoka isn't quite reaching the highs it needs. Everything is way more subdued that I think it should be. I don't know how much of this is the writing, how much is the short mini-series format, how much is the cinematography or the directing.

THAT BEING SAID I AM HERE FOR SABINE MISSING EZRA SO MUCH SHE SACRIFICES HERSELF AND THE MAP FOR THE CHANCE TO FIND HIM.

See everything about her motivations makes so more sense if she's in love with him, sorry Filoni, the ship is still sailing.

Baylan got a bit more characterization here and got marginally more interesting, while Shin just... continues to be wet paper. RIP Marrok we hardly knew ye. Hope they explain the green mist shit soon.

Natasha's shoulders must be sore from carrying this show lol. Someone please let Sabine hug Ezra, she will feel so much better.

[weirdlotiel]

Ahsoka ep 5. (Involves cursing and spoilers. Not necessarily in that order)

Did I say I love music in this series?

Last week I was talking with my dad and explained what was happening in the series and he asked if Ahsoka Hera and the team will use Pergills to find their way to Ezra and Thrawn. Not a bad idea…

Even more Jacen!!! Yay😍😍😍

I totally forgot to notice it earlier bur he has his dad’s… arm thing.

Huyang with Sabine’s helmet 😭. And how he tild them to stay together. He was so sad😭😭😭

Ahsoka has this thing with crossing her arms.

Anakin gives me uneasy feeling.

What does “finishing her training “ means?

Wait, live or die? Really? Well, that was quite… obvious.

Jacen knows something. I mean, why would he sit at the edge of the cliff?

I love how Huyang is half right half wrong.😂

Hera, listen to your baby!!!! He knows something!!!!!

And she listens! Or at least tries to. I love this duo.

Wait… Jacen hears what is happening on “the other side”???? I love that boy😭😭😭😍😍😍(and he made me cry!!!)

Carson: what am I missing? What just happened?

Huyang: Jacen has abilities. His father, Kanan Jarrus, was a jedi.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (that was literally my reaction to this conversation)

Carson: okay, we better get on it then.

You mention jedi, they listen 😂

But still, why did Hera leave Jacen and Chopper alone ot there? What if some kind of beast appears? Or whatever?

Ahsoka- falls down through the clouds.

Me: don’t tell me there will be younger Soka?

Younger Ahsoka- appears.

Me: oh, she’s cute😂

Nice training btw… well, dealing with your past is almost never easy.

Was that a random clone she sat next to? Probably yeah. Sad.

The talk with anakin, right after that… isn’t this a real dialogue from Clone wars? Or at least part of it? When they tried to get through the blocade to Ryloth? (I was watching this ep few days ago)

I knew there was something wrong!!! Vader is there! Be careful Snips!!!

I do love Huyang talking about Ahsoka and Ani. 😂

What did Chopper sense? Maybe a Pergill?

Oh, Siege of Mandalore? Just great.

Ani is dark. Is that a darke side tempting her?

Yup. Red lightsaber. But it’s not temptation… a test? Maybe.

I do love seeing more Vader side of Anakin. Although it pains me. (Btw idk how about the rest of you guys, but I had a feeling since the previous episode that we’ll see him today)

Yay, Ani is Ani again!!!!

No, he disappeared.

Haha, Ahsoka was just floating under the water. I should’ve known.😂

Jacen’s face when he saw the Ghost coming back with Ahsoka😍. I love this boy.

Jacen wants a lightaber. Of course he does.

Learning the past through touching objects? I didn’t know Ahsoka could do that.

I think she’s disappointed. At least a lil bit.

Ouch, Hera is in trouble. I hope she’s gonna be fine. (I hate most of thise politicians, did I mention that?)

Soka saw Pergills!!!!!!

Hey, you fucking senators, Hera is the general. End of discussion.

Why do I have a feeling me and my pa were right about the Pergills?😂

I love our big, soace Whales. (I need an amoji for them😂)

Dang, that Pergill is huge!!!!

Carson: I respectfully disagree.

My translation: Go fuck yourself you idiots.

So Ahsoka is gonna pull Jonah’s trick. (Now which story am I talking about? Who’s gonna tell me?)

Although I wish Hera went too. (And I do hope we’ll still se her in next episodes.)

This episode made me more emotional than I wish it did. (Especially because there was a lot of Jacen. Yes, Imma keep talking about this baby boi. And because we have more Pergills)

[burnwater13]

Image from The Mandalorian A Day Calendar, 2023

Din Djarin holds Grogu, while Ahsoka Tano grasps Grogu's hand. Inspired by The Mandalorian, Season 2, Episode 5, The Jedi

“Hey buddy, what would you like to do today?”

Huh? The Mandalorian was asking him what he wanted to do? That didn’t seem like his dad. Grogu wondered if he had a cold or maybe he’d bumped his head? Anything was possible.

Okay, okay. Din Djarin wasn’t that bad, but he also wasn’t the most chill guy in the Outer Rim. If he was going to ask Grogu a question it was usually along the lines of ‘Are you ready yet? We got a get a move on.’ Or ‘Grogu, you had frogs for dinner three days in a row, are you sure you want them again?’ Or ‘Buddy? Are you okay in there? Do we need to add more fiber to your diet?’

All that coming from the guy who always needed to grab one last thing before they left the house, who ate ration packs whenever possible, and used up all the hot water on a regular basis. It was reasonable for Grogu to be a little surprised and kind of confused. 

Was it a holiday? The one other time Din Djarin had asked him what he’d like to do with a day, it was the anniversary of the liberation of Nevarro. Grogu didn’t know which liberation day, because Greef Karga had created about a dozen of them so give the fine people of Nevarro something to celebrate. 

Grogu’s favorite of the holidays celebrated only on Nevarro (as far as he knew) was Mandalorian Day. He liked to think it was a celebration of his dad, but he knew it was for all the Mandalorians still making Nevarro their home. Grogu had been surprised at how many of them decided to stay there, even after Mandalore had been retaken from the Imp Remnant. He supposed it made sense. Compared to Mandalore, Nevarro was a very user friendly planet. 

Grogu looked up at his dad and asked what the occasion was. No point in speculating when he could just find out. 

“Uh, it’s my birth anniversary. I thought we could celebrate it by doing something fun together.”

What! Din Djarin’s birth anniversary! It’s not like Grogu thought he didn’t have one. The Mandalorian must have been born on some day. He was here after all. But why hadn’t they celebrated it before? Grogu would have been happy to catch his breath and just goof off with his dad for a day if he’d only known.

“Grogu, those other anniversaries happened when we were pretty busy. That time we were on Corvus, when we met Ahsoka; that was not a day I wanted to celebrate.”

Wow. Grogu wish he’d known about that then. It wasn’t that he’d been poorly behaved or anything like that, but he would have made his dad a card or saved him one of those blue sweeties or done something nice for him. He wondered if Ahsoka had known… he doubted it. He couldn’t imagine that she would have passed up on congratulating the Mandalorian if she had known. 

But… what if that was why she had refused to take Grogu on as a padawan? She knew it was the bounty hunters birth anniversary and the only worthy present she could give him was more time with Grogu! Sure. She had said that Grogu thought of him like a father, but that’s just the reverse of Din Djarin thinking of Grogu like a son! Uff. How could Grogu come up with a better present than that?! 

He reached out to the Force for guidance and giggled a bit because it was like the Force was just waiting to answer the question for him. He knew just what to do. 

By the time the day was over Grogu had made his dad a perfect cup of caf. Fed him ration packs for each meal. Helped him ‘tune up’ the N-1. Polished the Mandalorian’s armor with him and finally put on some sweet, kind of sorrowful music, while he listened to his dad read out loud from the Complete Guide to Speeder Bike Maintenance and Repair. 

When his dad finally tucked him into his hammock, Grogu was tired enough to fall straight to sleep. 

“Grogu? Thank you for the present. I really liked it.”

“Love you, Dad.”

It was the best possible end to a day spent in the selfless pursuit of happiness for someone he loved. If Grogu had learned anything over the course of his life, it was that time was the most precious gift you could give the people you cared about.

[dangraccoon]

Oyuba'din - Chapter 18: Reconciliation

Summary: Jaine comes across an old friend, Commander Tano helps Hunter, and Tech and Crosshair have a heartfelt conversation.

Warnings: curse-related amnesia, anxiety, guilt, vague reference to childhood trauma

Author's Note: sorry this took soooooo long to come out! I was hoping to get back to a regular schedule, but my job proved to be a little more insane than previously thought 😅 but I’m hoping to have some chapters queued up and hoping I’ll be able to post every other Monday! Keep an eye out!

« Previous Chapter Next Chapter »

Jaine was breathing heavily as she scurried through the Temple halls. Everything looked the same as she remembered, but she wasn’t quite sure where she was even trying to go. She’d only been here twice, and it was so long ago.

She tried to listen for the Force, or her intuition, taking turns that felt somewhat random and unpredictable.

Suddenly, as though she weren’t in control of herself, she slowed to a stop. A set of towering doors before her, she pressed her hand against it.

Something about the hall in which she found herself felt familiar. She wasn’t sure she really recognized it, but she just knew she had been here before.

“Jainera? Oh, stars, it is you!”

Someone was watching her, curiosity evident in their eyes.

When Jaine looked up, and her eyes met the soft gray of someone she could have sworn she’d met before.

“Ah, I think maybe you’ve had another…mishap,” they said, smiling gently at Jaine’s confused expression. “It’s no matter; I can always reintroduce myself.”

They extended their hands, taking one of Jaine’s hands between them.

“You’re…you’re a Jedi Healer, right?” Jaine asked, the touch of them beginning to remind her.

“Yes!” they beamed. “My name is-”

“Khawa!” Jaine gasped, a grin forming across her face despite the way her head ached. “You helped me after I’d-”

“Yes,” Khawa smiled sadly. “I only wish I had been able to help you more back then.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry if I seemed stubborn or-”

“Oh! No, no, no! You were the perfect patient!”

“A side effect of being the daughter of a healer,” Jaine shrugged.

“Sure, between that and your clumsiness,” Khawa smirked.

Jaine gasped, falsely scandalized. “How dare you!”

The pair laughed together, the sound warming Jaine’s heart.

“Come with me,” Khawa said, giving Jaine a curious look. “It seems we have much to catch up on.”

-

“All due respect, sir, but are you sure she came this way?” Hunter asked, trailing the padawan nervously.

“Ease your mind, Sergeant,” Ahsoka said, waving him off. “I know the sensory dampeners caused you to lose her trail, but I read her records; I think I know where she went.”

Hunter stopped in his tracks. “The…what?”

“What, the sensory dampeners?” she looked back at him, stopping as well. “Didn’t you notice that your senses have dulled here?”

“Of course I did,” he mumbled defensively. “But I didn’t know such a thing was possible.”

Ahsoka hummed, turning back to continue leading him through the halls. “For those of us with sensitive senses, it can be very helpful.”

Hunter considered this. Races like the togruta and twi’lek were very sensitive to their surroundings, their lekku almost like antennae. He knew how it felt.

“What did you find in her record?” Hunter asked, his attention shifting back to Jaine.

“Considering it’s a sealed record in the library of the Jedi Order, it’s a bit classified,” Ahsoka chuckled.

“Anything you can tell me?”

“We’re headed to the medical bay.”

“Great.”

-

Khawa’s laughter echoed throughout the medical bay, and they wiped away a stray tear that leaked from their eye. “Did- did he really just pick you up like that?”

Jaine rolled her eyes, but couldn’t stop the fond smile that grew across her face. “Yep. Just hefted me over his shoulder like it was nothing.”

“Bet you hated that, huh?” Khawa nudged her arm, winking conspiratorially.

“Oh, no. No, not you too!” Jaine collapsed dramatically, her face to the small table between them.

“So Sinya thinks you have a thing for the sargeant too then,” they laughed.

“Yes,” she groaned.

Khawa gently patted the back of Jaine’s head. “Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but as long as you’re on Coruscant, Sinya will be trying to get you two to hook up.”

“I know,” she lamented. “It’s just not going to happen. And besides, I’m pretty sure he hates me.”

“Oh, I doubt that,” Khawa whispered, lightly tapping Jaine’s arm.

“See, I told you I knew where she’d be,” Commander Tano announced, and Jaine’s head shot upwards.

“Jaine,” Hunter breathed, his voice flooded with relief as he came to kneel next to her.

Khawa made a face at her - somewhere between amusement, satisfaction, and curiosity, before walking to the doorway where Ahsoka was still standing, the two beginning to chatter quietly to themselves.

Jaine knew her pulse was pounding, and that he could hear it, but she couldn’t calm herself; not when he was looking at her like that.

“Hunter-”

“Jaine, I swear to you that we’re all okay,” he breathed, his voice barely louder than a whisper, but filled to the brim with emotion. “You certainly surprised us, but you didn’t hurt us.”

“I burned Crosshair! I threw you and Echo against a wall!”

“We’ve had worse,” Hunter shrugged, his eyes never leaving hers.

Jaine felt the sting of tears pricking at her eyes. “I can’t be the reason you get hurt,” she whispered. “Not any of you.”

The smell of the tears beginning to streak down her cheeks was breaking Hunter’s heart, and her usually earthy scent was marred by fear and anxiety.

“You could never hurt us, mesh’la,” he cooed, his hand cupping her cheek as he wiped the tears from it with his thumb.

“I already did,” she sobbed, not realizing the way she pressed her face into his hand, and definitely not noticing the way Hunter’s heart began to pound against his chest.

“I know you didn’t mean to,” he assured her. “Please, come back to the Marauder with me?”

Jaine swallowed. Hunter’s eyes were looking into her own so deeply, his warm hand against her cheek, and the slight smile as he asked her to go with him.

“Force, this is so sweet,” Khawa whispered to Ahsoka at the other end of the room, causing Hunter to whip his head towards them. Khawa squeaked as Hunter stared them down, and Ahsoka chuckled, pulling Khawa out of the room by their arm, despite their protests.

Jaine felt her face heat up, as though she had just realized the position they were in. She pulled her face away from his hand, awkwardly looking anywhere but at him.

Hunter missed the warmth of her cheek the moment it left his hand, but he pushed that feeling away.

“Please come with me,” he whispered, returning to his feet.

Jaine didn’t speak but nodded a little, accepting the hand that Hunter offered.

He squeezed her hand gently, savoring the feeling of her small hand in his own, trying not to feel hurt when she gently pulled it from his grasp.

-

“Damnit, Tech,” Crosshair hissed as Tech continued to care for his hand.

“Don’t be a child, Crosshair,” Tech said flatly.

“Maybe don’t press as hard?” Echo suggested quietly.

“Stow it, Echo,” Tech snapped, not looking away from his work for a moment. “It’s bad enough she burnt Crosshair’s hand, but now I’ll have to make repairs to the nodes of your chest implant. Maker only knows how much she hurt Hunter and he could still be in danger.”

“In danger?” Wrecker echoed.

“Yes,” Tech explained, the irritation he felt clearly showing through. “If he is with Lieutenant Vale, he could be in significant danger.”

Wrecker laughed, ignoring his brother’s tone. “Jainey isn’t ‘danger’! She’s so little, and she’s too nice to hurt ‘im.”

Tech scowled. “As always, I am the only one thinking clearly. Jaine Vale has already injured three members of this squad. Given her current unstable nature and the…powers she wields without formal training, it is more than likely that our squad will receive more injuries from her. Hunter’s original judgment was correct; she should be transferred out of our squad and, possibly, out of the GAR.”

“Tech,” Echo chided, placing a comforting hand on the shoulder of Wrecker, who was looking a bit like a kicked loth-wolf pup.

“What’s your problem?” Crosshair growled. “What happened that night you went to talk to her?”

Tech, finishing wrapping Crosshair’s hand, stood, straightening his goggles. “She incorrectly assumed I was there because I was having trouble sleeping. She brewed a tea with sedative properties and sent me off.”

He knew he was leaving out facts about that interaction. She was simply just doing her job. He didn’t correct her when she tried to deduce why he was pacing in front of her door so late at night, and it wasn’t as though she was incorrect; he was having trouble sleeping. Granted though that this was mostly due to his own guilt over his misplaced lack of trust.

He also knowingly left out the fact that she went on to explain why he was really there, opening up to him ever so slightly. It was like she had read his mind - something that not even Crosshair, his batch twin and best friend, could do.

He left out that the memory of how he’d felt that night - watching her work, the intimacy of her opening up to him, the tea, the way her voice lilted, the smell of her freshly washed hair that he caught when she sat so close to him - it all brought a buzzing sensation to his mind, like comm static, despite his anger with her now.

Tech especially left out his inappropriate request for a taste of more…physical intimacy, and his complete and utter regret that he’d stopped himself from hearing her answer. Or that the only time his mind was ever blissfully relaxed was in his sleep; that he didn’t dream often, yet that night he’d dreamt of her.

Returning himself to the moment, Tech knew his batch twin would be giving him a heated glare, and he could practically feel the anger rolling off of him.

“She was ‘incorrect’, was she?” Crosshair drawled, scowling at his brother. He knew Tech well enough to know that he wasn’t telling the full story.

Echo and Wrecker looked at each other with matching expressions of confusion, then towards Crosshair.

Crosshair looked at Echo with a face he hoped read as “please get Wrecker out of here”. Despite his anger with Tech, and his confidence that when the chips were down, Wrecker would have his back on the matter of Jaine, Crosshair knew his big, sensitive brother didn’t need to bear witness to the clash between his “baby brothers”.

Echo gave a subtle nod, muttering some excuse to Wrecker, and pushing him out of the room.

“You did not need to do that,” Tech said flatly as the door closed, leaving the pair of them alone.

Crosshair scoffed. “Do what? Spare the big guy from whatever banthashit you’re about to spew?”

Tech spun around to face Crosshair. “I am not-” he started, but upon seeing the utterly exasperated look on his brother’s face, he hesitated.

“Tech,” Crosshair murmured, patting the space next to him.

Tech took a deep breath, then plopped down next to his twin.

“Bic cuyir shi ni, ara'vod,” Crosshair whispered. [It’s only me, twin.]

Tech’s eyebrows shot up as he searched his brother’s face. “Gar su partaylir mando'a?” [You still remember mando’a?]

“Just enough to keep you on your toes,” Crosshair chuckled lightly, bumping Tech’s arm with his own.

Tech pushed back a little, rolling his eyes. The twins fell into a comfortable silence, just being near one another enough to calm their minds.

“You’re not going to ask?” Tech questioned nervously moments later. He was beginning to fidget, and Crosshair noticed. He also noticed how hard Tech was fighting not to fidget.

Crosshair shrugged. “You’ll tell me when you feel like it.” He noted that this was clearly not the response Tech was looking for as he watched his brother scowl at the floor.

Crosshair sighed. “What hap-”

“I was speechless!” Tech practically burst. “I was simply there to admit my own faults and apologize, then she opened the door and I just couldn’t say anything.”

“That…that’s remarkable. Did you note the time?”

Tech’s expression was unamused. “It was late and I couldn’t sleep-”

“Tech, I know this part, remember? I’m the one that talked you into apologizing?”

Tech thought back to that night, desperately trying to remember anything but her sleepy expression or the sound of her humming. Maker, he was right. He must be losing his mind.

“R-right,” Tech mumbled.

“Skip to the part where you couldn’t talk?” Crosshair suggested.

“You seem to have latched onto that idea,” Tech said, eyeing his brother, who barked out a short laugh.

“Moments when you can’t talk are very rare,” Crosshair grinned. “I can’t think of a single time you couldn’t find something to say.”

Tech rolled his eyes, shaking his head at his twin’s antics.

“And to think,” Crosshair goaded. “It was a little medic to finally get you to shut up.”

“Oh, shove it up your ass, Crosshair,” Tech groaned.

“Come on, brother,” Crosshair chuckled, elbowing Tech’s ribs gently. “Tell me what happened.”

Tech sighed again. “I can’t tell you.”

“Sure you can.”

“No, Cross, I can’t tell you,” Tech repeated, pointedly looking anywhere but at Crosshair.

Crosshair scowled a little, searching his brother’s face for answers. “Tech, if you can’t tell me, who can you tell?”

Tech didn’t answer, turning his face from his brother again. A quiet wave of harsh realization washed over Crosshair.

“Don’t do this, Tech,” he whispered. “Don’t push me away. Please, not again.”

Tech stood and began walking towards the door, but was stopped when Crosshair grabbed his wrist.

“Tech, please,” Crosshair practically begged, words spilling desperately from his lips. “Vi nu'cuyir ogir dar. Gar nu'vaabir linibar at haaranovor. Nu'vaabir haaranovor teh ni.” [We aren’t there any longer. You don’t need to hide. Don’t hide from me.]

Meh shi ibac rucuyir veman, ner vod, Tech thought as he collected himself and left Crosshair alone in the medbay. [If only that were true, my brother.]

Thanks for reading! - Dang

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Whumpuary Prompt 6

Exhaustion

Spoiler: This is an excerpt from The Nighttime Fear

Hunter heads outside, settling on the Marauder’s ramp to just… think. Brood, really. He was afraid this would happen. Of course, Crosshair’s primary mission is to come after them. That’s strategic. He knows everything about them.

He must know how much they’re hurting, too. Does he feel the same, or is he entirely lost in his anger?

He’s still sitting there when the others finally show up again. Ahsoka’s first, seating herself beside him on the stairs. “Tech told us what happened,” she says, “I’m sorry to hear that. I know what it means to want to just walk away from the fight.”

“Anakin said you always have,” he says, though he can’t even imagine it. The Clone Wars is why he and his brothers were made. Hunter can’t imagine a life outside of fighting. That’s… really all he’s ever wanted, though now? Things have changed, and he has to put their safety ahead of everything else.

She dips her head in a nod. “I was trained to be a Jedi, not to fight. I never wanted the war.”

Hearing people say that inevitably makes him uncomfortable. That’s stupid. She’s not saying she wishes he was never born. Those aren’t mutually exclusive. “If not for the war, my brothers and I wouldn’t exist.”

Ahsoka sighs. “Yeah. But what I’m saying is… that I want to leave the fight. I want to walk away from all of this.”

He’s exhausted. He thinks he could sleep for a week or ten. Either the aftereffects of the surgery haven’t worn off yet, or he’s just… “You could do that?” Hunter inquires, “Just walk out from all of this?”

“Jedi can still make choices,” Ahsoka replies, “If I don’t want to stay, I can… settle down. Theoretically.”

That isn’t what he’s asking. He knows the Council would let people leave the Order, even if hardly anyone ever had – it still doesn’t feel fair, because he and his brothers were always their – their property still. They couldn’t walk out even if they wanted to. (Anakin had said the same about himself.) “And leave your master?” Hunter asks, because that’s what bothers him the most.

He’d do anything to keep his family together. How could anyone else not say the same? He’d kill for them. Died for them. He already has.

“He’s taken care of me. Stood by me. He… I want his approval, but I still have to make my own choices.”

He doesn’t understand how someone could talk like that. Think like that. She’s talking about leaving her family because she’s uncomfortable with… what they are. He and his brothers have always stuck together. It – it sounds too much like… Crosshair. He doesn’t want to think about this. “I hope you find whatever it is you need,” Hunter says instead of the million arguments he could say to that. If his brothers wanted to fight, he’d do it just for them. Even if he was afraid, even if… but that’s not what Ahsoka has ever been. She’s… younger.

She’s their kid. They do everything for her. They’re not her responsibility.

“You too,” Ahsoka sighs, rubbing her arms. “I never thought about it too much, but maybe… if you want to settle down somewhere, we could do it together.”

Huh. So that’s what this is about?

“Maybe,” he says, not offering to commit to anything. He’s not opposed to that, but it would feel wrong to be with her, to know that Anakin and Rex were fighting for her, and she was… That they were keeping her safe while having no idea if her brothers were.

Ahsoka is far more well-known than they are – okay. That’s not true. She was far more respected in the Jedi Order than they were. Everyone knew about them, because so many people disproved of the Council’s decision to train them. They didn’t want them.

It isn’t that Hunter doesn’t… enjoy her company? But he can’t say he’s comfortable with it, though he doesn’t know why.

“I don’t know,” Ahsoka sighs. “I just feel like… right now, I need a break.”

Hunter nods to her, a little idly, but doesn’t verbally respond.

[therewasatale]

craving touch (Part 1)

Part 1 - discomfort

On Ao3.

Obi-Wan felt uncomfortable in his skin. He tried his best to pay attention to the discussion while hiding his feelings through the Force. His fingers touched his arm, he felt the bandage underneath his clothes and put on enough pressure to keep his attention in a bay. And that pain helped him to clear his head.

"After all, the negotiations were successful and the baron decided to side with the Republic." Mace Windu crossed his arms in front of him, as he spoke on the holoprojector.

"And next time, I'll be here and we'll catch Grievous together." Anakin said almost snarling as he nodded at his master. He paused only for a moment, and his eyes narrowed a bit, but continued. "But now you need to rest, master, and you can go back to Coruscant to have some rest." He placed his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder.

"Skywalker, you will be needed soon, be ready to depart Obi-Wan," Windu spoke up and everyone listened to him again. "Nice work."

"Thank you, the Negotiator, thanks to the Force is still able to go back home. A couple of days and we can go back at the front line." Obi-Wan finally let his body relax a bit.

"May the Force be with you all." The broadcast ended, the holo-display changed back to show a map and some data of the nearby planet.

"Nice work, that is a real compliment coming from Master Windu." Ahsoka coughed standing next to Rex. The clone allowed himself a half-smile.

"As you say, Snips." Anakin's hand still rested on his master's shoulder. "But you really should go and meditate, Obi-Wan, since I know sleeping is off the table when we're talking about you. We'll take over from here, check over everything once again, and then you all can go back to Coruscant." He gently patted the man's shoulder before letting him go.

Obi-Wan's shoulders tensed up, he tried his hardest to hide his feelings from the two other jedi in a room, he didn't want to let Ahsoka feel his discomfort. It was embarrassing to know that Anakin was aware of it already. "Yes." He managed to find his voice. "I think it would be the best. I leave it to you, then, Anakin."

"He should be really tired, -ouchhey." Whispered Ahsoka, then Rex gently poked her with his elbow.

"You'll be fine, master. You chased away the big, evil cyborg."

"I wish I were able to defeat him once and for all." Obi-Wan shook his head.

"You cut one of his limbs off, seriously damaged his dreadnought, and practically decimated his army." Said Anakin.

"I suppose." Obi-Wan gently rubbed his eyes, trying to wash away some of the exhaustion. "Cody, while I rest; I leave things to you and Anakin. You can find me in my room if there are any problems."

"Yes, general." The clone commander carefully watched his jedi, only Rex noticed that his eyes were more serious than usually.

"But there won't be any problem, go to sleep." His former padawan gently started to push him out of the bridge. "We will wake you up, if needed."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes, but nodded gratefully to Anakin before exiting the wide door. They were right. Yes, he was tired. Yes, he needed to take care of himself.

"Have a nice sleep, master Kenobi." Ahsoka called after him.

He waved a bit of a thank you and goodbye, then began walking down the hall alone.

When he got away from everyone, his skin began to tingle in the same way it usually did. The nervous knot in his stomach was there again, as it had been for months. He knew he was touch starved, but he decided not to face it, not yet. He couldn't let it get in his way in the middle of the war.

He had this condition from a very young age. He felt it even as a youngling, and he had to deal with it when he became a padawan. The masters were aware of his feelings, and most of them helped it to control it. Even Qui-Gon sensed his nervousness, but for Obi-Wan's surprise, his master didn't think at it as a bad thing. Physical contact itself was not something he should worry about, rather the craving for it that can be dangerous. The Force made him this way for a reason - he once told him. And he taught him as much as he could to manage his feelings. As a Jedi, keeping his desires under control proved to be quite a challenge.

His master made sure to kept it in a balance; he always put a hand on his shoulder, or on his back when he sensed Obi-Wan's discomfort through the Force. And sometimes he even embraced him. To this day, Obi-Wan wasn't sure that those occasions didn't just deepen the relationship between them. Either way, he was grateful to Qui-Gon, he had never told him to suppress his feelings, only to focus on the present and the Force.

And Obi-Wan had learned over the years, even though sometimes he noticed that they were trying to break through. The yearning of being held, and holding onto someone. During the meditations, he could sometimes only go deeper when he imagined that hands that stroked his back and chest and hugged him tightly, almost protectively.

He trembled at the thought, and had to slow down in his steps.

The war didn't help.

Back at the temple at least he could hug master Plo. The Kel-Dor soon realized he needed to be touched so he always kept a close eye on him, especially after Qui-Gon's death. And Obi-Wan always felt deep gratitude towards him too. With his help, he was able to keep his own feelings at bay. Not just about the loss of Qui-Gon, but him becoming a full knight, and a master so fast.          

And now he was stuck in a war - he, and every jedi, and every clone.

And he became more touch starved with every week. Honestly, he was a bit proud of himself, that itching feeling of loneliness took a long time to completely got a hold of him. He focused on the war and on every battle, - on his men to protect them, as much of them as he was capable.

First, he didn't know what to expect about his clones. First, he thought a bunch of soldiers will be completely different from him, - a jedi - but how foolish he was. They too were taught not to get attached, Force, they were taught they didn't even matter. Their only purpose was to fight for the Republic, and die if they must. They were ready to throw their life away to protect him, or to win in a battle.

For the first couple of days, he needed to meditate, and think. His soul felt heavy, and while he focused on the battles, his guilt stood with him.

He had to push down the urge to constantly argue with them about the importance of their lives. There are millions of clones, they said; if some of them die, three other brothers will take their place to fight. But there was only a few jedi, and all of them are important, much more than a clones. Obi-Wan almost let out a dry, empty laugh the first time he heard that.

He folded his arms in front of him. Every part of his being wanted to hug his men, to comfort them, to comfort himself. He wasn't a soldier, he wasn't supposed to be a soldier, just a peacekeeper. But sometimes he felt like he failed being both of it.

With a small nod he walked besides his men until he reached the turbolift. As the door closed, he leaned his back against the wall and took a shuddering breath.

He tried to cling into the tiny hope that Anakin was the only one who noticed he was trembling. Ahsoka was still young, but the Force was strong with her, there was no question about it, and she also seemed to be better at sensing someone else's feelings than most people.

Still, Obi-Wan had to hid himself even from his people, it would make him look weak in the end, and he couldn't allow that. Acting like a general, that was expected of him, and in the last few months he realized what exactly that meant.

Luckily, he was returning to the temple soon, if Force willing, maybe Master Plo will be there as well.

He pulled himself straight, gently adjusted his clothes, crossed his arms in front of him again, then stepped out of the lift. Maybe he was really worrying for nothing.

 But of course, there was someone, besides Anakin, who realized that something was wrong with the jedi master.

Cody was watching his superior throughout the conversation, taking notes to himself. Any of his men could tell that the jedi had been on his feet for too long. His injuries were too fresh to run around, making sure that everything was in order. However, in the last weeks, the jedi's behavior has changed. It felt like he closed himself up from them. His usually open demeanor faltered and he seemed to have turned inwards.

After the briefing, he assigned everyone their tasks and checked everything that was required. But even then, their general didn’t let himself relax. Only when Skywalker left his hand on his master's shoulder, the older man let himself ease a little bit.

Something was off with his general, and as a clone he needed to figure it out what, so he could help him. After checking on everything again, he decided to search for Skywalker. For once, Force decided to side with him. At least he thought the Force probably worked something like that, since he found General Skywalker and Commander Tano with the 212th in the cafeteria.

Most of his brothers were keeping their attention on the general, and each one of them tried to sit as close as it was possible.

Cody couldn't help but let himself smile.

Loud laughter broke out around the general, in which Ahsoka also joined in on.

"And so, we got our lightsabers back, and even our clothes too." Anakin chuckled along with the clones. "But of course, if the master tells this adventure of ours, he usually only notes that we engaged in a long diplomatic discourse, then duly accepted the drinks served to us. Then we left the next day."

"The general doesn't tell much about his old adventures." Hex noted cautiously, following his words quite a few curious glances fixed on Skywalker.

Cody nodded to himself in agreement. Obi-Wan always warned them to keep their eyes on the present, sometimes he revealed a detail here or there about his old adventures, but mostly the answer was always the same; it's a long, old story, and I'll tell it in time, when we will have time. That time never came though, only that sad glint remained in the Jedi's eyes.

"In time he will surely tell, Obi-Wan always focuses on the present, as he taught me. Just give him some time."

Cody slowly clenched his fists as he stepped closer. "General, may I have a word, sir?" Good, he was able to hold his voice.

Skywalker turned to the clone, his eyes watched him carefully before he stood up, he was most likely already aware of his intentions when he approached. "Well everyone, duty calls, maybe we will have a different story next time."

Cody stepped next to the jedi and they made their way out of the cafeteria.

"How can I help you, Cody?" Skywalker asked when they were finally alone.

"I would like to ask, about General Kenobi." The clone felt a nervous knot appearing in his stomach.

"Something personal, perhaps?"

Cody really wished in that moment that he was wearing his helmet. "No-, well in a way."

"I'm listening." Skywalker seemed more serious, he really did care about his master after all. He was a good man, a bit extra for Cody's taste, and maybe a bit unpredictable. But he protected his men at least as conscientiously as Kenobi. Even though his usual methods and unconventional tactics didn’t always suggest this. Regardless, he was glad that Rex was serving under Skywalker, both he and the young jedi seemed to get along well.

Cody cleared his throat. "The general, he seemed more worried for days now, I'd even say he seemed uneasy, sir. I wondered if there would be a way to help him to get some rest." He didn't know exactly where they were going, but he waited patiently for an answer as best he could, and he didn't know who to turn to.

"Obi-Wan has always, erm, needed closeness."

Cody tried not to give to the jedi an odd look.

Skywalker either didn't see it, or just didn't care about it as he continued. "As his former Padawan, I know how much it affects him - to lose even one soul that he tried to save. And besides that…" He went silent again.

For a second it seemed like the jedi became uncomfortable.

Cody didn't know if he stepped over a line, or if he asked something wrong. Maybe it was his fault, maybe it was some kind of Jedi thing that the kaminoans never knew, so they couldn’t teach them. Maybe he should just have to mind his own business. Before he could say anything, Anakin started talking again.

"He mostly meditated with someone else." The jedi glanced at him, again, there was something in his eyes. "With his master, and with me. Maybe you should help him, he could teach you how to meditate, and you could help him to calm down a bit."

"I'm not sure, sir. I have never-"

"It's all right, Obi-Wan was always a good teacher. You just have to sit with your back against his." He looked at Cody up and down. "Maybe without the armor. It, um, well your back needs to touch his. It will help."

Cody gave the jedi an uncertain look, he has never meditated before in his life, but it was sure as the stars that he wasn’t going to argue about it with a jedi. "Well, if you say, sir. And if it really helps the general, then I think I could try."

Skywalker patted his shoulder and stopped after a few steps. "Good, I think he's still up, probably reading the reports, or the situation about the war around the galaxy."

"He does that, maybe a bit too much." Cody stood next to him. "Worrying too much, and getting hurt during that."

Skywalker glanced at him, with that same mysterious look.

"Sir? Is there something on my face?"

"Nothing, Cody. I'm glad you're next to my master. You're a good man." He gently patted his shoulder again. "Good luck, and don't let yourself be shaken off."

Cody raised an eyebrow, and had to blink a couple of times when he finally realized that they walked right to Obi-Wan's room. He caught Skywalker's gaze as he glanced back at him over his shoulder.

After a couple of moments Cody stepped closer to the door. It felt as if he was up against the biggest challenge of his life. But he wanted to help, it was his duty; taking care of his jedi. And even if it wouldn't have been his task, he would have still wanted to help the man.

He took a deep breath, but the door opened before he was able to knock.