#wish i wasnt this way tbh!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Reprimanded at work in the gentlest way possible incident 600 dead 17000 injured
#i cried. 👎 but only 1 coworker saw and no one else noticed. 👍#oscillating wildly from embarassed to sad to soooo angry while keeping it cool on the outside is so exhausting#literally i feel like i didnt sleep at all now im so tired =_=#wish i wasnt this way tbh!!!!!!!!!!!!#ok. only a couple more hours of work 8)#feel like a picture of a crab holding its claws up in a threat pose like 'NO ONE MAKE ME FEEL ANY MORE EMOTIONS I SWEAR TO GOD'#damn i wish that cognitive behavioral therapy workbook worked ucigxihigx#i can see how its a funny concept to have someone be like 'hey could you not do this someone complained' and the person screaming and cryin#and throwing up but im just very tired of how my brain is#personable
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Without color
Trying to warm up because ive been slacking on the askbox!!! Yay!!!
#the best shit is made in the middle of the night#i just went crazy with it#kinda wish it wasnt on lined paper but oh well#sorry im taking for fucking ever oh my GOD#spamton#spamton g spamton#deltarune#deltarune spamton#deltarune chapter 2#spamton fanart#buwheart#[you've got mail!]#i painted that star in his chest with my thumbnail because i was too lazy to look for a brush#the praying spamton got covered by the light from neo and honestly its kind of fitting#his hair is facing the wrong way and tbh that was an accident
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Ride 787: The back that was pushed!!
Pag 1
1: Packed with the passion of everyone in Sohoku... a full throttle injection of will-power!!
Pag 2
1: Iitsuka-san!!
Goo Fukuoka!!
Oh, Tomaribata!!
Fukuoka, take the mountain!!
2: What about Hakogaku's Manami!?
3: Don't worry about him. He did catch up to me but then suddenly stopped
When I shouted at him, he closed his eyes and fell silent!!
4: Is it because he found out that Iitsuka-san is Fukuoka Josei's “mountain shogun”?
Yeah, probably!!
Amazing!!
5: Let's take the lead now!!
Ahead there's also Fujiwara-san from the Kyuushu team Kumadai!!
6: But anyway for a moment I was so scared....
Pag 3
1: When Hakogaku sent ahead their ace Manami!!
2: I can hear it
4: The first day's mountain prize!! Let's take it, at our hometown's Inter High!!
5: Wait....!!
6: “The sound of wheels”? “He's catching up”?
Could it be that Manami is waiting for someone?
Pag 4
1: And that's why he slowed down....!?
2: Raise your pace, Tomaribata!!
4: We're still at the start of the mountain, if we use up our legs here....
It's fine, we'll establish a good distance now
Huh!? But
Think, idiot!! If you think about it, you'll get it!! The person Manami slowed his legs down to wait for....
Pag 5
1: It's Sohoku's “Mountain King”!!
Pag 8
1: Mountain King!!
2: Fo-fo-for the first day's mountain!?
Why even the Mountain King, even the Mountain King!!
I don't know!! I don't know but that doesn't change the reality!!
3: Last year so many times we couldn't race each other
So I thought that maybe this year too...
4: What do I do if he doesn't come, I thought....
5: I was scared
6: For a while I couldn't even open my eyes
Pag 9
2: I caught up
4: Thank god it's real!!
Pag 10
1: You came, Sakamichi-kun
Yeah!! Manami-kun!!
Pag 11
1: Can we race?
2: Yes!!
Pag 12
3: Everyone in the team pushed my back!!
Pag 13
1: Onoda-kun!!
2: He should have caught up with Manami around now!!
3: Onoda-san!!
4: Hahaha!!
5: Back-gate slope-senpai!!
6: At full throttle!!
At full throttle!!
Run!!
Please run!!
Pag 14
1: Nghh...!!
2: “Nghhh” it's right!!
3: Ahaha
Hahaha
They're suddenly laughing, let's raise our pace!!
Yes!!
4: It was during your training camp on our first year
5: When we raced for the first time
6: I remember I was so excited when I heard that our names were “Sakamichi” and “Sangaku”
It's the perfect combo!!
Pag 15
1: I was surprised you didn't even have your feet fastening on
We stopped at the summer house and talked
2: We were so free back then!!
We didn't have any responsibility, not teams nor jerseys!!
3: Ahaha
4: When you're in second and third year the things you have to do increases so much....
5: I'd throw this “captain” title away anytime!!
Hahaha I get it, it's difficult for me too
Pag 16
1: If someone on my team heard that they would get angry
Doubashi-kun especially would get angry!!
Sounds scary...
4: You're wearing the number “3”
Ah, yeah, uhm, we talked with everyone on the team
Huh.... on official races the winner of the previous year should wear the number “1”
5: I see, leave it to me then
I'll push through, hahaha!!
Thank you!!
Is.. is that alright?
Waa, Pierre-sensei is so reliable!!
6: Your teacher....!!
Then...
7: Yeah, “3” like Makishima-san's “173”
Pag 17
1: I'm also wearing Toudou-san's number “13”
2: “Sleeping beauty”!!
Kuah!! Toudou!!
Pag 18
1: That day, the first day of the Inter High two years ago
2: While we were pulling the team, I imagined those two fighting for the mountain prize....
3: I'm sure they must be having fun
Fighting until you're empty
It can't not be fun!!
4: We can't go right now, but let's do it
A fight until the last drop, until our limits!!
Yeah!!
5: We promised to race
Today may be the day to truly make that wish....
Pag 19
1: come true!!
Pag 20
1: Our third year, the last Inter High
2: The first day.... a fight to compete only for the colored bib
3: The purity of this race is infinitely high!!
4: Yeah!!
Pag 21
5: Let's do it, Manami-kun!!
Pag 22
2: I've been waiting to hear those words!!
#yowamushi pedal#yowapeda#yowamushi pedal translations#yowapeda manga#yowamushi pedal manga#yowamushi pedal spoilers#ride 787#THEYRE SO CUTE YOUR HONOR I LOVE THEM SO MUCH#pag 15 is the cutest thing ever#MANAMI IS SO EXCITED!! LOOK AT HIM BEING SO HAPPY!!!#he couldnt even open his eyes at first bc he was scared it wasnt real and onoda wouldnt be there#EXCUSE ME WHILE I CRY#i love this so much you have no idea#manami being like 'id throw away the title of captain tbh' and onoda being like 'yeah i get it mood' lmao#i love seeing how their friendship goes both way#bc we always see onoda liking manami so much ya know#like hes the one whos always thinking about him etc#while manami takes 3 months to reply to him via text lmao but thats just manami being manami#i swear if kiji or midosuji crush this sansaka date imma throw hands#(i know it will probably happen tbh)#oh another thing! THE PARALLELS!! man i love parallels so much and the fact that theyre paralleling exactly maki-chan and toudou is#making me emotional#and also it makes me think that the end of this ih will parallel the first one meaning the two finalists will be first years#like roku vs tobirama and roku will win! wishful thinking? perhaps!! who knows!!#anyway the urge to write a sansaka fic after this chapter is strong. specifically some sort of 5+1 fic
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hmmm..having these two face each other could be cute but it also feels so weird dfsgsfd
#tbh i kind of wish it wasnt an item. i'd be way more fun if you could just flip all your dragons willy nilly by default#without having to pay gems and then picking one specific dragon for it fdgsdf#gushers#osira#bogsneak#flight rising
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i am not really a zenos enjoyer in the sense i think most ppl think of it but i do appreciate what his role does for cori. like i do think it’s neat he looked at them and saw their power and then made up everything about their personality in order to see connection. it’s cool to me that cori gets to be like no, he’s wrong about me. that cori gets to have all this power and still be kind, still not be bloodthirsty in any way, still not want to engage with him. idk i just think it adds a lot!
#i try not to talk about it a lot bc on here it seems like there’s a v specific way ppl want to see it#which is like your wol HAS to have this connection with him and if you don’t like it you’re not doing it right#that there are ‘canon’ dialogue choices and every other choice is wrong#which i find really frustrating lol like the only canon thing is how he feels about the wol#you get to choose how to feel back#and it’s esp weird to me considering he himself says everyone brings their own meaning to things!#idk like he was v frustrating to me bc of this projection but in a way that worked. that was done on purpose!!!#and so to always see things about how that *wasnt* on purpose and there’s only one way you’re supposed to react to him. idk!!#my one real wish tbh is that when he says you can walk away that they really meant that lol bc that’s what cori would have done#but even cori making the choice to do that has given me stuff to work with!#i need a text post tag#endwalker spoilers#sorry i was just reading things earlier lol
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I think one of the weirdest signs that I was trans was that I was fine with being called a woman but NOT a cis woman. I felt awful cuz I was like “do I have a problem with people calling me cis even tho I am???” cuz I am NOT someone who minds being called accurate descriptors such as cis. I felt like I just wanted to be special or something even tho that wasn’t it and felt so bad. Something just felt really wrong about being called a CIS woman. Definitely one of the more thought provoking signs I was trans lol
#was it cuz ‘cis’ implied I had accepted it? idk cuz I WAS fine with being a woman (as far as I knew)#just some weird subconscious thing I guess. I remember admitting it to my sister at the time lol#I don’t think there are rlly many other interesting signs for me tbh. except that I only corrected ppl online when they called me he if it#either went on so long that I felt bad for them OR we were arguing and I needed something new for them to be wrong about lmao#but similar to the actual post there is ONE thing I still find interesting. which is I watched a gacha cringe video (some were ridiculous#but I often defended them) and there were some where it said ‘I wish I was a boy so I could be gay’ and everyone’s like being disgusted by#this presumably little girl acting like she’s the creepiest fujoshi ever but LITERALLY I’ve had similar thoughts. anything that starts with#‘I wish I was a boy’ obviously has trans implications even if you don’t like what comes after it lol. but like honestly. I would imagine#myself in relationships with guys (mostly fictional characters as u do) and I just hated the idea that it was straight#like same situation as the post. I felt awful cuz I would be FINE with being straight (which I knew I wasn’t anyways) so why did I need to#be special or whatever? it’s cuz just like the post that WASNT the problem. it just felt wrong to me that I wasn’t a boy. so I BASICALLY#wanted to be a boy so I could be in a mlm relationship just like those gachas. it’s just a roundabout way of realizing ur trans.#to be clear I very much had to imagine myself as a guy (typically another fictional character DUH) in order to enjoy it at all#I just realized this sounds sexual. most of it wasn’t actually but the rest is my business LMAOO
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everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏
#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too#things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that#having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically#and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me#despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence#and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh#and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space#and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man#i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them#theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road#theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me#old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc#anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately#also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that#im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too#its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes#regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a#fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling#and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries
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i applied for this job (that i feel a little overqualified for. it isn’t work i’ve specifically done before but i’ve done enough that is similar & have kept a comparable job for years & also it’s listed as entry level with pretty low pay) and i got an email that i didn’t even get an interview
#finding work that doesnt force you to compromise on values is hard#and its wild! i have a lot of relevant experience and meet all their qualifications and nearly all of their additional desired ones#i guess it wasnt meant to be but woof#i applied for something else i think id be really good at but i have way less relevant experience so tbh im expecting rejection there but#thought it would be good experience#jobs are weird. i think there is a world i have a career and i am extremely passionate and good at what i do#i like being able to take pride in work#but like. i really have yet to find that in work i'm not making for myself#i do wish i could go back to being 21 at the sawmill. i was fucking going through it when i worked there#and if i wasnt going thru a breakup and deep in grief and the menagerie of bad habits id picked up i think i wouldve excelled#but yknow i got a lot of chances and learned a lot and i look back fondly. really couldnt have had a better boss there NGL...just wish id#done a little better yknow?#we didnt vibe politically but we really got along otherwise and i think we shared the same values for work and craft and stuff and id love#to find that again
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thinking about helen distortion again
#something i really love about her is how different she is from michael#cuz like. michael was forced into being the distortion (and vice versa ofc)#but helen found her way into it on her own#no help no map nothing like that#she just did#and she embodies more of the direct lying of the distortion more than michael did (from what we are shown anyways)#so i wonder how much of her life she spent lying to herself and/or the world#that convo she has w jon in the tunnels sticks out to me especially cuz shes like#“yeah. realized i wasnt going to stop eating people so i stopped caring”#did michael have the same feeling? part of me thinks no not really#at least not in the same way#michael as the distortion always describes himself w such contempt#he didn't want to be michael. and i don't think michael wanted to be the distortion either#i wonder how much helen denied what she was before just accepting it#cuz she doesnt really seem to have any of the same self hatred as michael#maybe becoming helen gave it back its purpose#maybe bcuz it happened “naturally” (finding her way into being the distortion) instead of having someone forced into it#here i go rambling again#helen distortion#sidenote but I do wish that bith distortions got more fucked up laughing in tbh#the sound makes me brain buzz /pos
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mmmmmm two sketchbook linebecks im pretty happy with
#as much as i love his coat it is very hard to draw. so no coat. or. shirt#my art#loz#legend of zelda#phantom hourglass#linebeck#tossing in my own rendition of shirtless linebeck. woe underweight linebeck be upon ye#i find that i draw heads too small. i have learned that#SERIOUSLY what the fuck happened i dont. im not an artist but these turned out so well and then what i drew after wasnt this good#did some like. artistic spirit pass through me long enough for me to draw these or something#his hair is a fucking mess but its fun that way#like the thing is these are good! thats not what i think linebeck’s face looks like tho#tbh in general he’s fucked he’s so difficult to draw. i have no idea how these two turned out do well but they did#the vibes are off and i am not skilled enough to fix it#but im happy with these#linebeck is doing so fucking bad in ph i bet. he doesnt notice the curse of the ocean king temple at first bc hes used to feeling godawful#that side profile looks GOOD i wish it looked more like how i imagine linebeck to look but it gets the idea down#SHOUTOUT TO VIKTOR ARCANE FOR BEING A REALLY GOOD FACE SHAPE REFERENCE FOR LINEBECK#second pic is a redemption. i have an older shirtless linebeck pic that i used myself as body reference for but it didnt turn out well#hence the viktor shoutout. in the first pic i fucked up his face but this time used viktor as reference and it worked
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Anyone else have beef with random historical figures for no good reason. Had to make a presentation about Augustine of Hippo once for a shitty college class but I hated the book we were learning from (see tags) so I associated the two together and now everytime I see his name I furrow my eyebrows and say "Augustine..." like he's my nemesis
#see tags: i hated the book because it wasnt actually a history it was like. a motivational book? but by an author that clearly assumed#that the reader would both 1) be christian and 2) trying to stand out and be an exceptional leader individual#i and my friends were neither of these things tbh and we drew the line at when the author started talking about 'pagans' as a single group#and like. im talking about like. the author seemed to think all pagans were fantasy druids? and was UNCITED just talking about like#'pagans had no sense of time as a progression and only thought of time as cyclical' was the main thesis. which. what???#it didn't matter what kind of pagan either as long as it fit the authors intention. im talking greek. celtic. native american. and more!#sometimes the author didnt even specify! he just would start talking about pagans like they all were homogenous and shared all beliefs#and because i had to present on THIS GUYS conception of Augustine i kindve just associate that author with augustine now lmao#sorrrrry augustine i know it wasnt you who did this but tbh what little i know about you you probably would've agreed#BY THE WAY#a happy ending! we talked to our professor about our issues with the book and he took it off the list for upcoming years#i wish i could remember the title but oh well#it was literally called like 'expreasing individuality' or some shit#leadership major future politician CEO nothingburger ass book#the whole class was also structured around that nonsense leadership and entrepenuer and ceo grindset type shit#(i took this class cause it was required for a good scholarship i had lmao)#... now that im thinking about it#this was also the class i attended while on the afterglow of LSD.#so uh. yeah. lmao
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why does writing baroryuu come so naturally to me. this shit feels like breathing
#tbh they are like extremely my style and im very comfortable with the way i write them#i think theyre like my comfort ship to write bc theyre so. easy to me#theyre like ocs#anyway i just wrote 1.1k in like a hour and its not even bad and it wasnt even agonizing#i think chiscara is like . very hard for me to write but brry is like the complete opposite end of the spectrum loll#asry is in the middle i think#anyway i think im doing a cmbyn au for brry week wish me luck
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I'm not connecting with this season at all tbh
Maybe it's bc its politically a mess, or the characters are being a bit sidelined for a convoluted plot
Sylvie still is my favorite and her stance in the whole mess of Is The TVA Good And Right is the closest I agree with. But idk we will see how the season progresses but eh
#im half way into the new episode still but idk#this season hasnt been as fun to me#shut up patrex#the brad thing is just a bore for starters#it really could have worked and be quite compelling but it feels to rushed for me to care abt him at all#OB feels way 1 dimensional too#i like b15 a lot I wish she had more screen time#victor is fine the guy is obviously an amazing actor that I think is being given subpar stuff to work with#anyone that wasnt as good as an actor would turn this character into hot garbage#and tbh the plot isnt even convoluted#the time travel aspects are basic as hell#i think its just too many players and not giving each the time to make their point or make their points well#the whole thing abt that branch of the TVA trying to prune all the other timelines was just kind of a waste of time#i didnt feel its emotional weight at all and I barely understood their reasonings#loki
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❄️ your winter gift has arrived, @awek-s! ❄️
a series of gifts for mutuals through december!
#alex!!#we are fairly new mutuals but there was no way i wasnt making u something...i hope u dont mind!!#so here are ur gals (i really hope i was right about ms somi TT)#i think ur very cool and tbh im always extremely happy to have mutuals who treat their blog as like..a blog FHDJD#what i mean is i love seeing ur thoughts and takes on things and its really refreshing to be around people that wont sugarcoat things and#who is literally so open to talking things out within reason!!#for however long we r mutuals i shall b ready to jump anyone that bothers u LMAO#and not to mention u also make gorgeous gorgeous gifs like they r insanely pretty!!!#i wish u all the best this new year my precious meowtual <3333#come and grab me if theres anything u wanna discuss!! or if u wanna unfollow this blog nd just be moots via my gg sideblog go for it!!#(because i have no clue if u enjoy atz- either way it wont faze me!!)#kazgifs#kazgifts
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last magireco bitching post for tonight i promise but i think all those people who complain that sayaka and homura are abusive and horrible and unreasonable for the crime of being manipulated and traumatized 14 year olds in awful situations and arent perfect little victims about it should go watch magireco and have their brains implode bc i think yachiyo is like. so much worse
#like yachiyo is actually an adult first of all they say shes in college and has been working for seven years#and i wont deny shes been through shit. shes felt guilty for her wish and watched her friends die#shes still a sympathetic character where u get why shes cold. but GOD the way she treats mifuyu makes me uncomfortable#like she regrets the worst of it when her doppel shows up but the narrative and mifuyu still go#''oh no yachiyo you ARE right to say that tee hee''#yachiyo gives me the vibe of someone who's like ''well IM suffering because of my choices. so should YOU''#also how she gets pissed at mifuyu for getting taken into a cult when shes at her lowest#and again keeps calling her weak like. good lord leave her alone#like. at least sayaka has a clear reason for acting the way she does and we see that in the show#shes guilty and traumatized from mami's death and is selfless to a fault#she blames homura for mami's death because of her own prejudices that have been instilled in her by then#she basically self sabotages and hurts herself because she thinks shes worthless compared to mami#she lost her childhood friend who. tbh really WASNT treating her well like obv he doesnt owe her a romance#but hes her childhood friend and he basically constantly brushes her off in the show#and we see more of that in rebellion where he does the same to hitomi#like. sayaka fucks up she gets cruel but you GET why she does it and it feels earned and good for the plot#yachiyo though. part of this is just character bloat and the weird pacing but her nastiness doesnt feel earned#yes season 2 shows that she wants to distance herself from others because her friends died. thats fair#that explains why she was cold in season 1. sure. thats fine that works as an arc and i usually love arcs like this#but then she's cruel to the lower grunts who were absolutely manipulated into the magias#and constantly implies theyre weak#and berates mifuyu (her best friend apparently) for breaking down after learning the truth#because ''oh well we DID accept this. we were idiots after all. lmao get over it and fight again''#and mifuyu is evil incarnate that must repent forever for. getting dragged into a cult at her lowest moment#after her friend was a dick to her fresh off her trauma. and of course leaving her which gave her Abandonment Issues#god sorry maybe the rest of the show will save it for me maybe itll call out this behavior from her#also it bugs me how even her cold behavior isnt really mentioned and shes just fawned over by the rest of the cast#like. sayaka and homura's behavior was called out as unhealthy and bad for them and the others!#echoed voice
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Srsly tho this update and the last update feel so awkward and forced in character interactions. I know it just happens with every crossover Collab like this but still 😭
#cookie run kingdom#cookie run#idk what it was about gingerbrave and characters praising disney and Bts these two updates but it felt off#tbh i think it's because kingdom set up a v specific aesthetic and these two updates just happen to not fit at all#tbh i cant speak on the sonic update i wasnt here for that one so idk if that was also awkward#tbh i dont think theres a way to fix this so i dont hold it against them#it's just really weird to sit through#but also i really wish the BTS cutscenes weren't so LONG#pls i just wanna do normal things i only click on gingerbrave to get rid of the notification symbol he has
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