#wish i was a real adult
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go
#the locked tomb#harrowhark nonagesimus#john gaius#harrow the ninth#this is why I don't buy john as misunderstood and initially well-meaning AT ALL#this is a pattern you see with him again and again and again -- right down to his interpersonal relationships#(and indeed it's in the more grounded interpersonal relationships you can most clearly see him as he is I think#the fantasy death empire of a thousand years doesn't register quite as viscerally because it's like. heightened; not quite real#but the emotional violence and manipulation that surrounds him? oh boy that is EXTREMELY real and scarily well-observed)#there's a premeditation to so much of what he does (contracts with planets that only end 'in the event of the emperor's death' anyone?#yeah john we get it you're hilarious and I wish you weren't)#the greatest trick john ever pulled was making anyone think he's just a lil guy. what does he know he's only god#when you first read the book the complete callousness of the other adults is so horrible that john seems like an oasis of care#(though you start to get this uneasy feeling when that care never seems to translate to like... relief or soothing or resolution)#and it makes it feel almost obscene when you find out what's actually going on#it's the mercy & augustine enabler hour but at least they're completely honest in their cruelty there#while john is -- well he sure is being john huh#this is just me being angry with him btw philosophically I don't think this is how the story will or should end#(with john slam dunked right into hell that is)#it's just... harrow is so vulnerable. and what he does to her is so insidious and fucked up#john is very deeply human. unfortunately the capacity to quite simply suck so much is deeply human too
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
EDYN TIDESTRIDER, CHALLENGER OF THE UNDERSEA, RIVAL OF THE DEEP. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BROTHER WAS CHOSEN TO BE A WEAPON OF THE GODS? HOW WILL YOU UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO HIM?
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#edyn tidestrider#cw blood#EDYYYNNNN TTIDESTRIDERRR OHH HOW I LOVE HERRRR#THIS IS A PAGE FULLA REEAALLY OLD DOODLES AND REALLY REALLY OLD DOODELS AND NEW DOODLES. ENJOY.#ONLY CLEANED IT UP A BUNCH TTODAY AND IM ACTUALLY SO SO HAPPY W IT WEEEEE#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? DOWN IN THE UNDERSEA. TO VISIT YOUR BROTHER WHENEVER THE ADULTS WOULD LET YOU#A KID WHO DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS GOING ON OR WHY HER BROTHER WAS BEING TAKEN AWAY OR WHY HE KEEPS GETTING HURT#OR WHY THE ADULTS JUST KEEP LETTING IT HAPPEN. ITS FOR THE BEST? FATE OF THE WORLD AND ALL THAT? HEY WHO THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE HERE#HOW DO WE STOP IT. HOW DO I STOP IT. THERES PEOPLE OUT THERE WORKING ON SOMETHING. ARITIFICIAL LEVIATHAN YOU SAY?#WE COULD BUILD A THING TO RIVAL THE GODS. WELL. SIGN ME UP. IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU#WHAT A FASCINATING THING SHE ACTUALLY SAID. 'IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU' HELLO?? EDYN? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#WHAT EXACTLY DID THEY DO TO HIM. OTHER THAN THE PROPHECY TRAINING. YOU CAN UNDO THAT? YOU CAN UNDO ALL THAT? HOW?? HELLO???#LIKE SURE I JUST SPOUTED MY THEORIES I THINK SHE WANTS TO KILL GOD BUT THATS JUSTA THEORY... A GA#WHAT IS EDYNS GOAL AND WHY CANT SHE TELL ANYONE OOUUUHHH EDYNNNN CMERE EDYNN CMERRE STOP WALKING AWAY CMERE. COME HERE.#fuuuuuck shes so mysteriousss what is she HIDING!!shes also so so so so angry i fucken know she is. shes so gentle and so sweet and timid#but she is ANGRY and shes SMART and clearly shes AMBITIOUS bc shes TALKING TO THE FUCKING BIG HEAD HONCHO O THE FUCKEN NNAAAVYYYYY#ALSO WHO IS NICHOLAS. IF THATS EVEN HIS REAL NAME. WHO DID YYYOU MEET EDYN. DO YOU HAVE A WISH TO BE GRANTED EDYN???#CHEWING ON THE BARS O MY CELL I NNNNEEEEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT EDYN IM SO CURIOUS IMG ONNA KILL PEOPLE#i said once in another post 'the oath an eldest sister takes on is on par w that of a paladins-#-and sometimes upheld w the very same ferocity'. I REALLY LIKED THAT LINE.#pleeese... if u can hear me.. pls join me and draw edyn w unbridled plasmatic rage abt the way her brother was treated by the Elders#also pls draw her SCARY. I NEED HER TO BE SSCARY. PLEEASEE I NEED HER TO BE JUST AS VIOLENT AS GILLION BUT INA ICE COLD WAY#JUST AS VIOLENT JUST AS STRONG JUST AS MUCH OF AN AQUATIC MONSTER. im sure u see the vision.#ok i gotta go t bed now i got work in tha morning n i should nnot be stayin up this late. if u hav thoughts abt edyn pls scream abt em#okay byyyyeee goodniiigihhttttt
162 notes
·
View notes
Text
Funniest thing about Peri ships is that everyone came to agree that 1. He has horrible taste in clinically insane men and 2. If you actually look closer he is equally or more insane than them, he just hides it better
#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#peri#mostly thinking about Irep and Dale here#he doesn't have a lot of choices tbh#but you dont grow up with Peri circumstances and end up stable lets be real#insanely powerful celebrity baby born from a wish made by the brother he ended up losing at an early age#charming and good at most things kid ends up as a anxious Burnout neurotic adult#that fixates on rules because he may or may not need to control his magic#i need to open his brain#perirep#peridale
136 notes
·
View notes
Text
the reason why Luo Binghe and Shen Yuan can't attic wife each other in their house and never leave is that they don't have internet or anything else around to help keep them moving. I think we chalk too much of Shen Qingqiu being a super productive person post transmigration often too much to reading into things and treating his unreliable narration as fact.
But like, what is he supposed to do all if not actually go outside and talk to people and get a job. Luo Binghe needs to do things other than be a housewife for his own sanity so he doesn't cabin fever. He can't live focusing his day around a singular person being in the room its not healthy and would drive him insane. These are not overly productive constantly doing things people. These are people doing things to make sure they aren't malaise slugs feeling nothing in their day to day drudgery.
This is just what a healthy post/pre internet mental state kinda looks like.
#svsss#svsss shitpost#scumbag system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#bingqiu#i don't go into servers anymore or use anything but tumblr for a few hrs a day#the difference is astounding#scum villain self saving system#protagonist in isekai's don't leap to being better productive people just because they were actually always good and better than other#its because the internet is no longer sitting as a filter you can use#when you have to actually live in the real world and talk to people you have to learn to change how you approach conversation and free time#rich people in the real world aren't constantly going out to get jobs just to make daddy proud its also because they want something to do#humans are not meant to sit around doing nothing#part of the reason i think luo binghe had such an obviously bad time in the return to childhood special is he had nothing to do for months#he has no desire to play with kids#was too short to do a lot of his chores#couldn't socialize as an adult#and even his own boyfriend was too bored staying inside all the time#i don't doubt the man was dying inside wishing to turn back to normal simply because he had nothing to do
94 notes
·
View notes
Text
i care him so much guys . guys. hes blorbo bingus
#someone on discord wanted him to be tarred and feathered#fop#just doodles#dale dimmadome#fop a new wish#thinks about his childhood and cries so hard i throw up. thinks about how he could've gotten help but none of the adults in his life cared#enough to get him what he needed#thinks about how he could've avoided continuing the cycle of dismissal and neglect#after he escaped the stupid ass evil dungeon he could only eat plain white bread for a month until his body adjusted to Actual Food#and he took 5 hour long showers every single day and would scrub until he drew blood#hes very deeply traumatised and having a real rough time adjusting to 'normal life' and doug just waves everything off#'chin up sport!' and buys him some random shit before going down a new rabbit hole business endeavour#imagine he finds out about the ransom. that doug knew and just didn't care enough to get him. oh mygod#HE HAS THE PICTURE. IN THE NEW SHOW. so he definitely finds out eventually#and doug wouldnt even try to hide it he literally just Did Not Care#i'm sick.
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
Going to walk into the fucking water 🙏👍🚶➡️🌊
#going insane. cant sleep the fucking constant irregular snoring… ahut the fuck uppppp please#no peace or autonomy in the day and i can’t even rest at night. day 2 of 2 weeks 👍#earplugs do not drown it out. i can’t sleep through it. im going genuinely insane#like distress tolerance works for not like clawing my own face off out of hate#but it does feel like 2 straight weeks of keeping my hand in the Dune pain box#exactly how I prefer to spend my only time off from my phd coursework btw#seething with sublimated resentment and anger while wearing Steel Plated Happy Mask#god forbid I get to relax or have a nice time with people who like me or cook food or read in bed#nope ! just holiday hate and competitive ulcer cultivation.#not going to put my head thru a wall because i’m an adult with emotional control#but sooo awesome to get to spend the next 2 weeks exhausted and wishing I could#and then straight back into constant work. awesome. Not clawing face off. Doing awesome#btw dbt is great for some things but i do hate how it is like. aorry if your environment sucks and other people are tangibly causing you#real distress. however : it is your responsibility to absorb the impact and defuse it#Like pleeease I’ve had the best year of my liiife why is 36 hours with my parents enough to send me straight to hell#at that point I feel the problem is less my emotional regulation skill#and more that when people treat me badly or in ways i find upsetting i become naturally: Upset?#big if true. whatevwerrrr okay im just going to sit in the fucking hotel lounge and work on fic or somwthing. fine
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
hopefully other comic runs will just continue to ignore whatever the fuck Zdarsky is doing because the whole batfam moving in with Bruce is such a cringe idea
#most of them are adults#tim drake u stay the fuck on your murder boat i swear to fucking god#the only one who should be living with bruce rn is Damian but i wish he wasn't bc zdarsky sucks at writing him tbh#steph isn't even his kid and has NEVER had that relationship with him?????????#duke i'm pretty sure is living with his own family rn??? i think his uncle??#dick and babs live together and are adults???#tim and cass and jason are all adults as well#ALSO LETS BE REAL ALMOST ALL OF THEM WOULD RATHER EAT NAILS THAN MOVE IN WITH BRUCE#be sooooo fucking fr rn zdarsky#comic reading tag#tuesday spoilers
28 notes
·
View notes
Photo
In the city!
Commission for missyuniverse_ for her fanfic at Wattpad! ( account: Kittens_escapism or juanitasuniverse ) 😊😊😊
#connverse#Connie Maheswaran#Steven Quartz Universe#SU#Those guys I googled for references of the peeps in the background#also random references for the building and such#I used a gaussian blur to blur the background and I'm thinking now I might or should find a different way to blur my background. 🤔#It was an odd experience drawing his vest because I used a real life reference at first and it looked so off. Then I used a drawing referenc#e and it instantly fixed it? So. like. I don't always trust real life reference after that.#I'm crying I really really wish I'll learn to draw facial hair some day.#I mean the client described that he only unintentionally grew stubbles because he got busy with something. but still#Why is my laptop already laggy I already restarted this and Nothing else but Chrome and Medibang is opened. -_-#I took so long to do the background. lol but I'd rather it stay blurred because of how it turned out.#Trust me it looked way bettered blurred. haha#Sorry.. Connie is suppose to be wearing her hair in a cute high ponytail with a small braid added little star accessories.#I'm not sure but I'm hoping the ponytail is still discernable#adult connverse#Okay I did spend this way too long in general but it was still fun drawing it#my shiz#commissioned work
149 notes
·
View notes
Note
i love nova as a character because shes The white women. outwardly feminine and feminist, rainbow goddess of light, prettiest girl ever, etc. but also, importantly, thinks about most women in her life like shes a 1950's misogynist working husband who pats herself on the back for being So Nice to NOT beat her wife for burning dinner.
twenty bucks that nova has considered either getting devin a magic lobotomy OR that under slightly different circumstances she Would.
that last paragraph is killing me. not because i hadn't considered it but because, uh. it's like you've hacked into my backstory docs. LMAO.
the horrors of being sixteen and in pain and existing at the whims of someone who just wants you to Be Happy are. Fucking Unimaginable.
#well i can imagine them. i dont wish it on anyone else though. dont think too much about it#i'm a horror writer before i'm anything else. It Was Bad.#no literal lobotomy but i swear to god that was the only thing that Wasn't done to devin.#though i will say in nova's defense. it was NOT her idea.#it was her being twenty and scared and wanting to do the right thing and being told This Is The Right Thing by much wiser more experienced#adults. who she trusted. a situation many twenty-year-olds have found themselves in.#her real problem is less that and more that she's so defensive about it in the present.#'okay it is NOT my fault you want to be such a huge bitch about people trying to help you' darling. look within.#replies#original fiction#horror#medical abuse#psychiatric abuse#lobotomy m#devin and nova#devin#nova
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’m watching a video about booktok and it pointed out how some of the illustrated covers look innocent enough to be a kids book (take icebreaker for example and that book is not for kids) and i really think this needs to be addressed. i bought a lot of books second hand as a kid and sometimes it’s hard to tell the age range of a book without googling it or checking on the copyright/publisher page in the book which most people skip over and some books don’t even include the age range on there (i mostly see it for kids and YA books but if anything it should be on adult books MORE). like yes i definitely read poorly written smut on wattpad when i was 12 but i was not reading it as much as some of these kids are. i think a lot of parents are just happy to see their kids wanting to read instead of being on a screen and buy them whatever book as long as the cover looks innocent enough but i really shouldn’t be seeing actual 9 and 10 year olds reading some of these booktok books like please save the children.
#i still go to a children’s hospital and the amount of kids under the age of 15 i’ve seen reading these books while their parent(s) is#sitting right there is CRAZY#especially since a lot of the nurses are aware of booktok because they’re readers so i know that they’re aware of what these kids are#reading too but it’s not their place to say something to the parent but god i wish someone would#idk maybe i’m a prude but even i don’t read that much smut and im an adult so it’s just… a bit concerning to me because a lot those books a#are okay to like as a FANTASY but not a real life practice you know… and i worry kids aren’t old enough yet to understand the difference#autumn rambles
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
SHIN YOOSUNG!!!!!!!!!!
#orv liveblog#ORV HAS FINALLY MADE ME BREAK DOWN SOBBING FOR REAL AND IT'S BC OF SHIN YOOSUNG#SAVIOUR OF A STAR 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#her thinking of all the things the adults who love her have taught her#her thinking of happy memories and wishing kdj had been part of them#her just wanting to have a normal childhood even though she knows that's not an exciting story#and then all the constellations on kimcom's side lighting up for her#im going to THROW UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THIS BOOK IS CAUSING ME EMOTIONAL DAMAGE#NO ONE WARNED ME ABOUT THE CHILDREN IN THIS BOOK. I WAS UNPREPARED TO START SOBBING ABOUT THESE KIDS WHOSE CHILDHOODS WERE STRIPPED AWAY
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
time for another poll, this one about a topic very close to my heart...
#polls#poll#escape room#me i think i'm at 24 or something. can't remember. not quite 30 but getting there for sure.#i know the real hardcore ones will have like 100 plus (god i wish that was me) but these brackets are pretty good i think lmao#i'd have SO much more but like...expensive hobby. also Getting The Team Together isn't the easiest thing in the world.#that's adult friendships for ya
69 notes
·
View notes
Note
this isn't an ask or a request, but I hope you could still post it, because since I found this account the wave of love for this fandom crushed me yet again
not to disclose who I am too much, but here's a fact: I was dealing with pre schoolers as a part of my education(or, well, practice). around the same time I discovered the wonderful world of hermitcraft age regress fics. I myself don't regress, but I find those works insanely comforting. anyways I mentioned my education because, while in fics the looking after might be Way to soft and all-allowing (that YES can be very bad even short term), most of the works show it really well. and not just comforting, but as if the authors know Very Well they are portraying not a parent figure per say, but a "cool uncle that looks after you" type character and I LOVE IT. maybe this says smth about my childhood, maybe it's the overwhelming feeling of love coming from a friendship, but still. kudos to everyone who writes age re in this fandom, I love you.
I still haven't explored the topic of age regression as a study (meaning: I haven't really looked up the real world instances), but I have a feeling that learning about this phenomena in psychology feelings-first from a fictional work was a good idea.
Your ask has actually reminded me why I love this blog. I've been a bit out of touch with the fandom lately, but the sense of community that comes from gathering around something so niche is really nice and I love hearing about it.
I'm glad this type of content can be comforting and enjoyable even if you don't regress!
Also, when I originally had the idea to start this blog, there was very little agere-related content in this fandom that didn't emphasize a parental, set-in-stone caregiver as a key feature. I'm happy to see so much more variety in how people portray it in relation to friends and partners.
#Anonymous#also i appreciate that theres less emphasis on a carer as someone who has all the same authority as an actual parent#im sure theres still works like that (i havent actually been on ao3 in ages)#but i always found it hard to enjoy that type of content because it was an automatic assumed thing in most instances#that the carer would be a parent with full authority over the regressed person#without much (or any) discussion.#for me at least being treated like that while in that state would not be good for me#so having that be presented as the default made it difficult to read.#this is also why a lot of my posts center around friends just being patient and comforting and hanging out/playing instead of having a#distinct carer#and the ones that do feature a carer rarely have a parental vibe.#when i write about interactions between a regressed character and an adult-mode character i usually try to think of like#what type of boundaries they wouldve set with each other. and how that relates to the regressed characters individual feelings#since some people find it helpful to have someone act like a babysitter would. but others just prefer for their friends to hang out normall#of course fanfiction doesnt always need to be real world accurate and can just be someones 'man i wish someone would take care of e' fantas#(a lot of my unpublished stuff lately is just like... characters being far too accommodating of the pov character's problems lol)#but i like to include variety#wow i rambled a lot more than i meant to#not a headcanon#oli says things
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
anyway saw a job with a six figure salary and was filled with a deep ennui. would be nice wouldn’t it.
#my ramblings#I could be working more and earning more but I think I’m at my limit#in fact I really need to plan for a day off#to just chill#but I’m just not motivated enough for it because. the logistics.#well… holiday boss rush soon…#alas I just do not have a disposition to make money.#sigh.#starting out was like ‘woah this is real adult money’ it’s. not. it’s really not.#I wish I were a fussy spoiled showcat
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
one thing i really deeply wish is that i'd had access as a kid to the plural community and information that are more easily available today, instead of my first experience with plural community which both took it seriously and was nonjudgmental having been 10's era tul/pa.info lmao
#moogletalks#in some ways it was a wonderful community; and it taught me a lot of really helpful things#and made me feel validated and hopeful that This is a Thing That You Can Continue to Be and Develop in an Adult Life#instead of feeling like there was a time limit for when plurality stopped being Childlike Imagination and started being Craziness(tm)#(lots to unpack there lol)#.....in other ways not only was there Some Real Fuckery going on in the community in general; on an interpersonal basis#but i cannot overstate how horrifically toxic and damaging some of the things it taught me about plurality were#and how when i entered the phase of young adulthood where i realized the approach it had demanded of me was unsustainable to my survival#instead of having other perspectives on hand to go 'hey yeah you're not torturing your parts to death out of laziness if they go dormant'#'and/or if you don't spend hours of extremely grueling intensive work at minimum into maintaining them every single day of your life'#'and that if they dissolve into nothing because you Didn't Pay Them Enough Attention and you try to recreate them it won't be the same one'#'and if they DO actually come back as themselves they'll be horribly broken and traumatized and probably hate you forever'#'who the fuck told you that. oh my god?'#all i had to go on was 'either you're plural or you live an actual functional life in the real world; and i can't not do the latter atp'#and the result was repressing myself in an incredibly traumatic way i have just never fully recovered from even now#the fun cherry on top was that later when i *did* try to ask (very kind and well-meaning) plural ppl from another mental health community#if anything i described sounded familiar to their own experiences; or ones they had heard from other people#their response was pretty much 'idk that doesn't sound plural to me; i'm sorry; it's something where if you have it you know :('#me crying my eyes out for days afterward: obviously this reaction is bc i want to appropriate plurality to feel special#and am throwing tantrums at having the bubble broken by Reality#anyway. it's been a lot and yeah i really wish i'd had literally any other affirming plural community as a kid lol#ableism cw#internalized ableism cw#pluralitag#traumatag#adventures in mental illness#disabilitag
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
-> on mothers, resentment, and the guilt of needing to be cared for
#web weaving#mother#she gave up her world to give it to me#but i dont deserve this#and now we play house but she wont truly meet my eyes#she could've had a life without me#she gave it up because HE wanted a family#and now im an adult and shes slaving away 40+hr work weeks to continue caring for me#while he fucks off#i just wish i could take care of her#or even just myself#grant her the freedom of living for herself#every day she looks so sad and tired#and it makes me sick#mom i want it to be my turn#please stop shouldering my burdens#i want to be able to be a real capable person and prove you didnt fail#i dont want you to feel like those 20 years were wasted#im so so so so so sorry i left#im sorry i threw away your chance to watch me grow up#and then showed back up on your doorstep as some mangled excuse for an adult#im sorry you cant trust me to remember even the simplest shit to take care of myself#im sorry you had me#you could be so much better than this#i wish i could give back everything ive taken from you#more than anything#i want to take your place#i want to watch you make your way in the world with new fresh eyes#and have friends and go out and do things that make you happy#to have hobbies and interests and free time and energy
31 notes
·
View notes