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#wish i got my tickets a lil earlier so we could be a bit closer to the ring but its whatever 😭😭
edgelite ¡ 1 year
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going to dynamite tonight btw thatll be fun
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obeymeaskme ¡ 3 years
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Obey Me!: Human and Demon Hearts!
A/N: I feel like a broken record, but all the uploaded chapters are pinned <3
Chapter Three: Bonding's Mend (2/3)
Word Count: 1,125
Rating 18+
The house had become quiet. A much more comforting silence than earlier. Everyone had officially gone their ways for the day. Mammon, Satan and Asmodeus had volunteer work at their jobs, and the twins had taken Bella out for a tour. Bella had sent an invite out to Noelle prior to join them, but she gratefully declined. She had other 'plans' to try and get closer to Levi. Satan had already given Noelle a pep talk, and some much needed information about how to worm her way into the Otaku's heart. Much for his own amusement.
Satan had informed her, before leaving, about one of Levi's obsessions; Ruri-chan. A voluptuous demon that has taken the form of a young girl in order to live among humans in order to learn more about them. Noelle had looked at small clips from the anime and doted over her as well, feeling like she understood why Levi admired the 'cute lil' bean' so much. Bringing her back to reality, Satan had shown her a site that was giving away a rare “Inferno Fire Soda Brand Themed Ruri-chan: Magical Fizzle!!!” Figurine. The two of them rolled their eyes at the long name, but scrolled on. Only one winner, and Levi had already maxed out his own Credit card to buy as many tickets as he could. Noelle saw the price of admission, and decided to buy herself a ticket with the intention of giving Levi an extra shot at winning.
Satan had agreed that it was a pleasant idea. Noelle had already explained all her hobbies, and personal interests and he was very surprised that Levi wasn't already clinging to her. Maybe it was the way she dressed? No, it was just, Levi being Levi. Though Satan had other reasons that could lead to his brother's aggression towards her. He jumped as she squealed in delight, proclaiming she got a ticket before the site kicked her off and closed down the admissions page. Patting her on the shoulder he had excused himself from her room and wished her luck.
The page she got the ticket from had claimed it would do the drawing on Wednesday. She was overfilled with joy and rushed to Levi's room, but just before she could knock on his door, her body froze. She wasn't sure why but her nerves tangled up. She desperately wanted to share the news with him, maybe even impress him with her knowledge of the show, but something stopped her. She began to grow worried that he'd ignore her if she knocked on the door. What if it was all for not, and he didn't win? What if he saw her as a bad luck charm and shooed her away for good. She contemplated texting him, and acting like she bought it by accident, or it was given to her by Bella, but she could only see the same outcome. So she walked away.
Sighing heavily she kept her pace, staring at the downloaded entry on her screen. Not paying attention to who she ran into. After a quick turn back around she began to sputter out apologies, and she felt her face turn red as she was face to face with the eldest. Lucifer had made a bizarre grunt noise before warning her about being more careful. Noelle looked down with disappointment. Even then neither of them chose to walk away. Both of them had much they wanted to say, but it was Noelle who spoke Lucifer's name so softly, that he was concerned she was going to cry.
“Are you mad with me?”
He was yet again taken aback by her question. Any normal human would have thought the answer was yes, yet here she stood. Asking anyway. He sighed deeply, pinching his nose, but replied none the less.
“No. I'm more so annoyed. But not with you. Things have come up recently, and I am now aware that I have handled a few situations rather poorly. I'd apologize but...”
He looked at her as her face seemed to lighten up a bit. Though he gave it his best shot at consoling her worries, something inside him still wanted to hate her. He gained back his thoughts as she began shrinking away from him. He had to force his face to relax as he was scowling and seething at her. Noelle asked another question.
“What is it you want me to do? You obviously can't stand the sight of me. I'm not stupid, ya' know. It's not the first time someone looked at me like you do.”
Lucifer rubbed his temple, a growing headache forming. Making him want to walk away, but he humored her.
“I'm not sure. Usually we don't have this hard of a time interacting with humans. I understand Satan explained to you about the three main response systems a soul like yours can cause onto a demon, yes?”
She nods at him and he continues.
“I sat in my study for a while. I was just coming to see you about this. It feels as if I've gone back to my more... primal days as a demon. I do have more control over myself than what I've displayed...”
Noelle stood quietly as Lucifer began shuffling around a few papers, and a book that was marked with sticky notes.
“Take these, and recite this incantation here. It'll allow you to read the book, but I must admit having to be around you this long has made me quite... Uncomfortable. Excuse me.”
Lucifer had taken off at a fast and sloppy pace. He had hopes that his remarks towards her had gotten through his intentions. He did feel sorrowful towards her, but not because of his behavior, but what was written in those papers.
Noelle had made her way to the small library in the house, and sat down in one of the tasteful leather chairs. Years of usage had made it soft, and she understood why Belphie refused to sit in them when she joined the twins, and Bella, for studying.
Upon unfolding the loose paper she read out loud the words.
“Nor Human, nor immortal shall fail at thy spell, for only those who wish to read need but time, this spell, and a book with an unknown tongue.”
Noelle squeaked and tossed the book as the lettering changed with a burning glow. Panic set in as she realized the carpet almost caught on fire. Stomping out the few sparks that were left behind. She felt the warmth on the book fade out, and all the words were in perfect English. She opened up to the first sticky note labeled 'Unlikely'. Giggling she read the first entry.
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purrincess-chat ¡ 4 years
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A Hero’s Promise (Lucky Charm Zine)
This summer I was asked to pinch-hit for the @luckycharmzine and it was so much fun! Thank you to the mods for all of your hard work, and for letting me be apart of this experience! The theme was reveals, and seeing as they asked me in the middle of Ladrien June, ya girl just had to write some Ladrien (with a lil bit of Adrinette too because yall know me:P) Be sure you support the whole zine because it’s full of wonderfully talented people who created so much amazing content!
Summary:  When Marinette finds herself in a dire situation with Adrien, she has no choice but to transform and save them both. Will Adrien keep her secret, or will Marinette's identity be revealed for good?
Read on AO3
“Okay, girl, no chickening out this time,” Alya said.
The class had taken a field trip that afternoon, and as was customary any time the opportunity presented itself, Alya and Marinette had a plan to get closer to Adrien. It was a simple plan really, one that even Marinette couldn’t mess up. All she had to do was stand beside him on the tour and talk. Easy.
“What if I mix up my words again?” Marinette whispered as they trailed several paces behind Adrien and Nino.
“Just keep going. Adrien has heard you stammer a million times by now. Take deep breaths. I’m gonna distract Nino.” Alya patted Marinette’s cheeks before striding over to link her arm through her boyfriend’s. 
“Adrien, do you mind if I steal Nino for a while?” She asked, batting her eyelashes, and Marinette wished she had a fraction of her confidence.
“Not at all, Alya,” Adrien said, and Marinette saw her opening. 
She could do this. The field trip was only a couple hours, and if she played her cards right, he’d fall in love with her then one day they’d get married, have three kids and a hamster named-
“Adrikins!” Chloe cooed, shoving Marinette out of the way and latching onto his arm. “Look at my new manicure!”
“Uh, that’s great, Chlo,” he said, sounding every bit as unenthused as he looked. 
Marinette glanced at Alya who motioned for her to step in, but at her panicked expression, Alya slapped a palm to her forehead. She’d messed up and chickened out again. Maybe she should give up on love and move to the countryside and become a beekeeper. She could totally be a beekeeper. 
“Hey, Chloe, I think I saw Sabrina refilling your water bottle from the tap,” Alya called, and Chloe stopped in her tracks.
“She what?” Chloe gasped. “If she thinks I’m going to drink tap water, she has got another thing coming. Sabrina!”
As Chloe stormed off, Alya nodded toward Adrien, and Marinette took a deep breath. She could do this. It was only two hours and the rest of their lives. All she needed to do was just talk-
A loud crash sounded several floors above them, shaking the building, and Marinette braced herself as the windows shattered. As people ran screaming, Mlle. Bustier barked orders from the front of the line, urging students to safety. 
Marinette threw her head back with a sigh. Did Hawkmoth need to pick right now to create an akuma? Did he have a radar that went off every time she was about to make headway with Adrien? Nevertheless, duty called. 
Using the chaos as cover, she slipped away from the group and ran the other way toward the stairwell, but as it turned out, the stairs weren’t as private as she originally thought. Throwing open the door, she crashed into another person, toppling them both to the floor, and as she sat up, she found herself staring into two green eyes wincing under a mop of blond hair. 
“A-Adrien!” She jerked back several feet. “I’m so sorry! I was just, uh, trying to run away from the akuma, and-”
“It’s fine. You okay?” He asked, offering a hand to help her up. Always the gentleman even if she did completely knock him over and ram her head into his chin. 
“Yeah, you?” She asked, and he rubbed his jaw with a shrug.
“I’ve had worse,” he said. “We should probably get out of here.”
“Uh, right. We should,” Marinette said, sparing a glance at her purse. 
They jumped at the loud crash in the hall, but both stood frozen on the platform. Marinette needed to get away and transform, but she didn’t have a viable excuse to ditch Adrien. Luckily for her, he took the lead, tugging her down to the next level.
“We can hide out until the akuma passes then make our escape,” he said, ducking into the door one flight below. 
“Uh, right,” she said, hoping her voice didn’t betray her lack of enthusiasm. 
She glanced around the room, searching the rows of cubicles for any means of escape. Never in her life did she think she’d be desperate to get away from Adrien, but now wasn’t the time for snuggling. Paris needed Ladybug, so her love life would have to wait. 
Large windows spanned the far side of the room. Several had shattered from whatever attack the akuma launched, and hanging just on the other side was their ticket out of there. 
“Look!” She tugged his sleeve. “A window washer’s scaffold. We can get down with that.”
“Whoa, good thinking, Marinette,” he said, rushing over and clearing away broken shards with his foot. 
He climbed in first then offered her a hand, and she tried not to think about how much hand-holding this excursion had come with. She hit the button on the control panel, breath hitching as it started to lower. Freedom was only a few minutes away, that is, until a desk flew through a window and sliced the wires. 
Adrien pulled her close as they dropped six stories before the scaffold jerked to a stop, and they flung apart, scrambling to right themselves as it swung. They were still ten stories up, but from the looks of the wires, they weren’t going to be for much longer. 
“Are you okay?” Adrien asked, attempting to reach for her, but the scaffold shook and rocked.
“Don’t move!” She gasped, shifting her weight to counteract his. “We need to figure out a way down.”
“Maybe we should just wait for Ladybug,” Adrien suggested, and she glanced down at her purse with a wince.
“I don’t think we’ve got time,” she said, nodding at the fraying wire. 
“What are we going to do?” He asked.
Marinette surveyed their surroundings, searching for anything to add time or get them out safely, but their options were slim. Any sudden movement would likely send them plummeting to the ground, and even if they did nothing, it wasn’t long before the scaffold gave out under their weight. There was only one way out, and she didn’t have another choice.
The scaffold groaned, and Marinette lunged at Adrien as the wire snapped, wrapping her arms around his waist as her suit materialized. Her yoyo hooked around a beam as the scaffold crashed to the ground. When she glanced back at Adrien, his eyes were wide which was only natural seeing as she’d inadvertently told him the most important secret in the world. 
“You’re-”
“I know,” she said, lowering them to safety. “And you can’t tell anyone.”
“No, yeah, sure, but you’re really her?” He looked her up and down with awe. 
“Uh, yeah,” she said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “No one should know who I really am, but we didn’t have another choice. I’m trusting you, Adrien.”
His gaze found hers, a soft smile curling on his lips. “I won’t tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me. Promise.”
Her cheeks warmed, but there was no time for flirting. She palmed her yoyo, taking a few steps back. “Find somewhere safe to hide, okay?”
“Ladybug, wait!” He called as she tossed her yoyo up the street, and she turned over her shoulder. “Uh, I- come by my house later.”
“Okay,” she said, and when he nodded her on, she tugged the slack and shot off. 
Chat Noir arrived on the scene the same time she did, and she hoped that her expression didn’t betray her guilt. There wasn’t another option. It was a fact she repeated to herself that day as they captured the akuma. As the city returned to normal. As she and Adrien exchanged curt nods on the bus, her secret passing unspoken between them.
She wasn’t sure how to feel knowing that someone knew her identity now, or that this particular someone knew her identity. Of course it was dangerous and wrong, and it never should have happened, but she did her best to see the positives. She finally had someone other than Tikki to tell about her double life. Even better that someone was the boy she was in love with which gave her more excuses to talk to him, and being a superhero didn’t exactly hurt her chances at impressing him either. A little late-night tour of the city from the rooftops and-
What was she thinking? This was bad! Adrien knew her identity. Should she go into hiding? Stop being Ladybug? Maybe she could make Chat Noir the new guardian and lose all of her memories. But what if the new Ladybug failed, and she had no memories to help stop Hawkmoth then it would be all her fault for exposing herself, and Paris would be doomed and-
“You okay, girl?” Alya snapped her out of a downward spiral, and she removed her nubs of fingernails from her mouth.
“Uh, yeah, just thinking about how I messed up with Adrien earlier,” she said, plastering on a smile.
“Aww, don’t worry. You’ll get him next time,” Alya said, draping an arm over her shoulder, and Marinette let out a breath. 
“Yeah…”
***
Adrien’s window was open when she arrived later that night, her stomach churning as she hesitantly lowered into view. He paced the length of his couch, looking up when she appeared. Their eyes locked, both staring until Ladybug gestured to the floor.
“Can I come in?” She asked, and he nodded, moving around the couch to meet her. 
Silence stretched between them, and Ladybug drummed her fingers on her yoyo, heart threatening to beat out of her chest as Adrien ran a hand over the back of his neck. What exactly did one say in this situation? Should she play it cool? Crack a joke? Beg him not to tell anyone? There wasn’t exactly a training course on what to do if you expose your secret identity. 
“Um,” he finally managed, and her eyes flicked up to his. “Thank you for saving me earlier.”
“Oh, yeah, no problem,” she said. “I mean, after all, it is my job.”
“Right, of course.” Adrien nodded, and the silence resumed. They both shifted, the tension between them stretching until the pressure snapped like a rubber band. Words spilled out like rapids, one stream overlapping the other.
“Listen, I know that we can’t undo what happened, and I know that you won’t tell anyone because you’re so trustworthy and cute-- wait did I say that out loud?” Ladybug said as Adrien rambled just as awkwardly.
“I’m really sorry that you had to tell me your identity like that, and I promise not to tell anyone. I’d never betray you like that ever, and I feel really bad that you had to be the one to reveal your identity,” Adrien said, their words mixing until they both clamped hands over their mouths. 
Adrien pressed his lips together, determination glinting in his green eyes. 
“I feel like it’s only fair that I tell you because it’s important to me that you know you can always trust me,” he said, taking a step forward. “You weren’t the only one who could have gotten us out of that situation. In another couple seconds, I would have transformed to save us both too.” Lifting her hand to his lips, he continued, “I’m sorry, m’lady. I guess now the cat’s out of the bag.”
“But- you-” A devilish smile curled on his lips, and as the two halves of his persona clicked together, Ladybug threw her arms around his neck. “It’s you.”
“I’m really sorry, bugaboo,” he murmured against her shoulder. “I should have acted sooner.”
“Even if you had, I would have known your identity. There was no way around it,” she said, pulling away. “We can’t change what happened, but we do need to talk about what to do now. Knowing our identities while Hawkmoth is still out there is dangerous. If one of us gets akumatized…”
“I know,” Adrien said, lowering his gaze. “This isn’t exactly what I was expecting when I dreamed of finding out who you really are. I hoped that I’d single handedly take down Hawkmoth and impress you so much you’d fall in love with me.”
She smiled at that, brushing his nose with her finger. “What should we do? Should we stop being Ladybug and Chat Noir?”
“What? No!” His eyes widened in horror. “Look, there’s no one I trust more than you, and I think we make a pretty awesome team. Besides, who knows, maybe this is for the best. Maybe we’ll be stronger and more united. We can have each other’s backs all the time.”
When she didn’t seem convinced, he added, “We’re the cat and bug team, remember?” He said, and at her stern expression, he corrected, “Fine, the bug and cat team.”
“Okay,” she said, taking a breath. “I trust you, and we both agreed when we took on our Miraculouses to keep the city safe. We can’t turn back on that promise now.”
“You and me against the world?” Adrien said, holding out a fist. 
Ladybug looked him up and down, a smile curling on her lips as she touched her fist to his.
“As always.”
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the-angry-pixie ¡ 4 years
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Just a buttload of questions
I was tagged by the lovely @jessiohhh. Thank you chickadee. Took me forever to finish, but I got there. :D 
Apparently this is to help you get to know your tumblr peeps better. 
Gonna put most of these under a cut to save y’alls dashes.
1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? I guess if I had to choose it would be black. I don’t know why. A good black ballpoint is a lovely thing to have.
2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? Depends what stage of my life I am in. I want to retire to the country but otherwise wanna live in the city.
3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? To sew and make clothes. Gosh how different my life (and my wardrobe) would be if I could fix clothes, alter clothes, MAKE clothes. I want this skill so much!
4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Don’t drink coffee. My tea has half a sugar. I worked my way all the way down from two sugars and I’m proud. :)
5. What was your favourite book as a child? My Dad used to read me Enid Blyton books when I was little. My favourite series was probably The Naughtiest Girl in the School series.
6. Do you prefer baths or showers? Definitely showers. I want to like baths, but whenever I take one I just feel sweaty and gross.
7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? A fairy. I’ve been obsessed with fairies since I was little.
8. Paper or electronic books? Probably electronic books. Easier to read and travel. 
9. What is your favourite item of clothing? Gosh I don’t know. I literally sat here thinking about it for a couple of minutes and I can’t pick a favourite. I guess by default it falls to the item that I wear the MOST which would be my black combat boots. I wear them almost constantly.
10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? Nah I tend to think Laura is a bit boring. I like my middle name Eileen though.
11. Who is a mentor to you? I’m kind of without one at the moment. Thats just the situation my current life is in right now. 
12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? I would like to be “Author Famous”. Like have soooooo much money, and dedicated fans who like my work. But nobody recognises me in the street. 
13. Are you a restless sleeper? Yes.
14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? No, not in the conventional sense.
15. Which element best represents you? I wish I was earth but I would say probably water. Can be dangerous or calm. Flexible. 
16. Who do you want to be closer to? Hmmm I feel bad that I’m not closer to my godson. But ya see, he’s an annoying lil shit. At least the stage he’s going through right now is really obnoxious. So spending time with him is just... not fun.
17. Do you miss someone at the moment? All my Canada friends.
18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. I’ve talked about early childhood memories on here a lot. I don’t want to repeat a story so lemme think a moment..... I remember being obsessed with pressing buttons when I was younger. I mean, most kids are. But you see my family lived on a dairy farm, and in the dairy where we milked the cows and stored the milk there was like... a WALL OF BUTTONS. And levers, and switches and other doo-dads. And like... I just wanted to press them all. But I wasn’t allowed. Obviously. Only at certain times during the day would my father call me over and lift me up so I could press one particular button. So yeah, I remember that. “Helping” my Dad in the dairy and being excited whenever I got to press the buttons. I never even got old enough to learn what the buttons did before we moved off our farm. :(
19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? Hmmm, probably escargot. Snails. They were delicious.
20. What are you most thankful for? My newborn nephew.
21. Do you like spicy food? Yes. But spicy food does not like me.
22. Have you ever met someone famous? Yeah last year I was working on a feature film that had a Disney starlet working on it.
23. Do you keep a diary or journal? No way. Too hard. The only time I keep journals is for really important stuff that needs documentation. Like a medical journal when I’m sick. Or an anxiety journal when my GAD gets real bad.
24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? Pen I guess.
25. What is your star sign? Libra
26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Bit of both. If you can get a mouthful with both then thats like... bliss.
27. What would you want your legacy to be? Do I need to want it to be anything? Cause I don’t. Like I don’t really care all that much. Maybe I will later in life.
28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I dont think its accurate to say I like reading when I literally never do it anymore. Except for fanfic. I listen to audiobooks a bit. I just finished listening to The Stand by Stephen King.
29. How do you show someone you love them? Cuddles, I’m a cuddler.
30. Do you like ice in your drinks? Yes.
31. What are you afraid of? Wasted potential and never really getting where I want to get.
32. What is your favourite scent? That smell after a sun shower. Everything is wet and the sun is making it evaporate into the atmosphere. Love that smell.
33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? Not to be cheeky but like, context is a thing. Depends on the context.
34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? Not terribly different. I would still work. I guess I would travel a lot more. Since that is something that I would love to do but can’t because I don’t have the funds.
35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? Theyre both the same level of scary to me. Yes, I suffer from an irrational fear of pool sharks. So I guess I would go ocean because at least with the ocean you have the surf waves to make it fun.
36. What would you do if you found ÂŁ50 on the ground? Look around to see if someone had dropped it, then if there was no one, pocket it.
37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Yes. Last time I went camping there was a meteor shower. Wait, do they count as shooting stars? If not then no.
38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? Compassion.
39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I want to get a bunch of babies-breath flowers tattooed in the middle of my back. Its so specific because I plan my tattoos for a long time before I get them.
40. What can you hear now? The fish tank filter at my brothers house.
41. Where do you feel the safest? In my bedroom. In my bed. Laptop and phone and kitty nearby.
42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? My fear of relationships and emotional intimacy.
43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? I honestly don’t know. There are a lot of cool places (but like, usually only if youre in the upperclass). Ancient Greece maybe? Jane Austen era? Woodstock? I can’t decide.
44. What is your most used emoji? This lil dude. 🙃 I prefer it to the regular smiley face.
45. Describe yourself using one word. eclectic
46. What do you regret the most? Not having my mental health issues diagnosed at an earlier age.
47. Last movie you saw? In the cinemas? A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood back in January (actually got my wallet out and looked at my ticket stubs). Just in general - I watched The Florida Project last night with my bro.
48. Last tv show you watched? My Little Pony. Been watching episodes to help me fall asleep.
49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. Derp-a-derp. My bro and I have been saying that over the last few days when we can’t remember the word we are trying to say. Like “go get me the derp-a-derp” or “what was I saying about the derp-a-derp”. Its a good placeholder.
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Annnnnd imma taaaaaaag.... like I said, this is a long one so no pressure (it took me like a week to get through all the questions).... anyway I tag @hichie, @thepragmaticrebel, @heavensdick and @serendipitous-magic.
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itsmyonlydaytobefancy ¡ 7 years
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11.4.17- journal
HEY SO IDK/IDC ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT HOW THE READ MORE THING WORKS ON MOBILE SO IF YOU DONT GIVE A SHITB(WHICH YOU PROBABLY DONT WHOOPS) YOU CAN JUST WHIZ ON BY. SORRY THIS POST GOT SO LONG
Okay, so I already made a post about how I'm kinda happysad today. But I'm gonna write about everything that happened.
So, a little after 8 he came to my house to pick me up. We drove to Kingston to see the new IT. On the way up we talked and listened to some of his favorite tunes.
Almost an hour later we arrive at the theater. We park kinda really far away from the entrance because we thought we could go in through a different door. Nope whoops. But it's okay.
We go in and he takes his phone out so the lady can scan his prepaid tickets, which is cool. We hit the concession stand and we get two bottles of water. He insists on paying but I tell him no. He gives in but then changes his mind again saying he wants to pay. I handed my card to the cashier quicker so HA! There 😌. We head into the theater and he asks me where I want to sit and I shrugged and said idk, he then asked, further back, or the front? And I said back. And then we get a row up and he asks further? And I was like idk, you pick. So we ended up going to the top. They were actually really good seats. Especially for a spook like this.
The ads were just getting over at this point and the movie started. I kind of knew the beginning part with the kid and the boat and the clown like SUP GEORGIE. TAKE THE BOAT. But I jumped anyways. I jumped A LOT which is embarrassing. Fuckin spooks. Like, I kinda joked with myself earlier,being like "oh this would be the perfect opportunity to make a move and cling to him like how petty girls do in the movies™️" but I DIDNT MEAN FOR IT TO ACTUALLY HAPPEN. I THOUGHT I COULD HANDLE IT. NOPE. IT DID A SPOOK. I COVERED MY EYES AND DID A SQUEAK AND I FUCKIN LEANED INTO HIM LIKE THE DAMN SCARDEY BITCH I AM. BUT HE PULLED ME IN SO THAT WAS REALLY GREAT. AND WHEN THERE WERE MORE SCARY PARTS HE WOULD PULL ME CLOSER AGAIN AND RUB MY SHOULDER. LIKE. JESUS. HE ASKED IF I WAS OKAY AND STUFF. AND WE MADE JOKES TOO. LIKE AT ONE POINT THE FUCKIN CLOWN SAYS "EGGBOI". LIKE EGGBOI. IT FUCKIN GOT ME. IT GOT HIM. IT WAS GREAT. EVERY TIME THE KID FROM STRANGER THINGS MADE A UR MOM JOKE, WE WOULD DAB. WE FUCKIGN DABBED.
ANYWAYS, THAT SHIT ASIDE, movie was really good. I liked the music. I liked the cast. I liked the story. I probably should read that shit, but hoo spooks. But with words. Spook.
Anyways, we headed out and back to the car, seemingly further away than on the way in to the theater. It was so quiet and not windy. Not overly cold either. He said it was a nice night out. I agreed. We talked a lot on the way back. And we listened to more music. His 2016 favorites on Spotify to be exact lol. We talked about school and what got us both interested in biotech. And other things too but still. He gave me a cute lil pep talk on continuing with my classes. Just to get em out of the way. I'm not totally sure I can do that. I wish I could, just to make him proud, but I think it's too late to save em. I just don't have enough energy right now to write these damn papers. He says he gets it, and I don't doubt he does, but hoo boy my brain has totally shut down for now. I need to get back on my feet. But his pep talk was super cute anyways. So cute and sweet. He means so well.
Eventually we pull up to my house and he pauses, asking if I'd like to drive around for a bit. Just an extra 10 minutes. And I say YES OF COURSE. So we drive all around town. From my house, to the high school, to sea street. We went through the rotary by the package store probably seven or eight times, going back and fourth through town. He kept saying "...okay, one more round" and "okay, only ten more minutes". It was so cute. Like he actually didn't want to leave. AND HE HAS SUCH A LONG DRIVE TO DO TO GET HOME. ITS LIKE TWO HOURS. LIKE THIS CUTE ASS BOY DRIVES TWO HOURS TO PICK ME UP, ALMOST TWO HOURS TO KINGSTON AND BACK FOR THE MOVIE, PLUS THE EXTRA HOUR OF STALLING, TALKING TO ME AND THEN HE HAS ANOTHER TWO HOURS OF DRIVING TO GET HOME. LIKE, THIS BOY. THIS B O Y. THISBOY.
So then it's almost 2 am and we decide that we gotta stop this shit. The night must end. I give him an awkward car side hug and he tells me nah, he'll get out to hug me. He's tall and I was kinda on my tip toes and I kinda tipped over when we backed away from the hug. And then he was like, "oh man, we can do another hug" sO WE DO ANOTHER. AND THEN A FUCKING NOTHER. He tells me that he had a real great time. I agree. We talk about it a bit. And then I told him that he has to come closer because I got a damn secret (this is my fucking trick for dealing with tall people. It's a great idea. Learn from me) and so he leans closer and I do a damn smooch on his cheek. And he was like "ah I was kinda afraid of that happening" and I was like fuck oh no. Hes gonna give me the boot. And he continues on to say that it's hard to like, see where this relationship is going. He said his mental state is all over the place (understandably though! Something bad has happened to him. He's going through a real tough time this poor boy.) and that we live so far away and that we're kinda in the same boat with school and that It might not be a good idea if we like, kinda kept this up? He said he might be able to see me next week but probably not(because of sad thing) and I think he kinda hinted at like, not really ever? Or not for a long while. He said if he stops messaging me, don't be alarmed. He said he'd probably keep it up because we click so well but still.
And then after that talk we hugged again and we said goodnight and goodbye. I told him to "drive safe and stuff" and then he question/mocked me "stuff?". We laughed and we said bye again.
Im just so happy and so sad. Like I get it. I really do. But I just don't want to let him go like this. Like, even if we could just be friends and we see each other like every other week or even once every month I'd be happy. I also want to make sure he's okay. He's so good. It really sucks he's going through such a hard time. Like, I feel like, he's dealing with it p well, but he might just be like, blocking it out? Hoooo boy. I really wish, like REALLY REALLY REALLY HOPE that he doesn't drop me. I really don't want to lose him. I fucking wish I could drive. I swear I'm gonna scream of I don't get my permit on Monday.
It sucks that I have him on my brain so much. And he's gonna be even more in there because now I'm worried. Like, I know my ocd definitely plays a role in things like this, but it's also just like, wow. He's such a good in my life right now. Like, I guess I'm kinda selfish but maybe, he feels the same way? Maybe he just doesn't want to get my hopes up or something? I mean, again, scramble brain but ST I L L.
Anyways, FUCK.
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evermore118 ¡ 8 years
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The Struggle of Tough Decisions
Pairins: Scorpius Malfoy x Albus Potter, Dean Thomas x Seamus Finnigan
Summary: Albus and Scorpius have been dating in secret but after an argument that may have left a mess that cannot be fixed, Albus finds comfort in talking to his dad's old classmates Dean and Seamus, at the 2023 DA reunion as they chronicle their own love story.
Words: 10,767
Albus opened his eyes and smiled when he realised Scorpius was cuddled close to him, his light snores filling the room’s silence. He could hear footsteps downstairs as his family got ready for the day so he could only hope no one came upstairs to wake the pair up. They should get up soon to avoid the threat of it but the position they were in was far too comfortable to leave.
He heard Scorpius softly yawn and he nuzzled closer to him. Albus smiled. “Mornin’,” He mumbled.
“Good morning.”
They fell into a comfortable silence, simply holding each other, Albus tracing his finger along Scorpius’ back as Scorpius kept his face buried into Albus’s shoulder.
They rarely got moments like this. At Hogwarts it was almost impossible. They stole kisses in the rare moments their dorm was empty but they couldn’t snog without the risk of being caught. They’d thought about trying an empty classroom but before they could, another couple – a straight couple – had been caught by Peeves who was joyfully singing about it as he flew around the castle. The last thing they needed was Peeves catching them and the entire school finding out about them. Exactly the opposite of what he needed, everyone knowing Harry Potter’s Slytherin son and a former Death Eater’s son were snogging each other. That would definitely make the front page of every gossip column. Earlier in their friendship there was enough talk about them simply being friends, about how Harry Potter’s son could go on such a path, being sorted into Slytherin adding fuel to the fire. He avoided thinking about that situation but their relationship in this form would do nothing but restart sneers that ended years ago.
Since it was the summer holidays they took the chance for a ‘sleepover’. Or really, their only real chance to kiss, or cuddle in the current case. His dad had come around to their friendship and Mr Malfoy had never had a problem with their friendship. He still wasn’t sure how either of their parents would react. No matter how things were it was still scary as fuck when you were the child of one of the most famous wizards in the world.
They were still cuddled together when Albus heard footsteps walking down the corridor. In his panic he jumped out of his bed – Scorpius grunting as Albus’s arms pulled from under him – and Albus almost tripped on the foldup bed that was set out for Scorpius. He breathed heavily as the footsteps passed his room and grew softer as whoever it was got farther away.
Albus let out a breath of relief and sat down on the foldup bed. “That was close,” he said.
He looked back up at Scorpius who was now sat up and pressing his lips together. “What?” he asked.
“Nothing,” Scorpius muttered and tore his grey eyes away.
“No, something’s up, what’s wrong?” Albus asked as he sat back next to Scorpius and wrapped his arms around his waist. Scorpius didn’t meet his eye but he let Albus rock him gently on the spot.
“Scorp, c’mon, what is it?”
Scorpius sighed. “You didn’t need to react like that.”
“What do you mean?” Albus asked confused.
Scorpius met his eye. Albus hadn’t gotten over how much he loved Scorpius’s grey eyes and stark white hair. He looked exactly like a younger version of his father, much like Albus did with his own. Same untameable hair, same bright green eyes.
“Jumping off the bed like that,” he said.
“Well how exactly would we explain why we were sleeping in the same bed, cuddling no less?”
Scorpius’s eyes left his, but Albus didn’t miss him mutter, “The truth?”
Albus held back a sighed. This again. Scorpius was far from pleased about keeping their relationship a secret. Scorpius had learnt to not care what others thought about him after years of rumours that he was the son of Voldemort. He’d made it clear he desperately wanted to come out but he wanted to do it with Albus rather than alone. Albus felt awful about making Scorpius feel this way but it was scary. Scary that the entire wizarding community would be buzzing about it. Scary that it’ll be a new reason to be seen as a disappointment. Scary that he was in love with his best friend.
That was probably the biggest thing. He broke the biggest rule; do not ever fall in love with your best friend. Do not ever let them know your feelings. Do not ever kiss them. Do not ever start a relationship with them. He broke all the rules. He was fucked a long time ago.
“Babe-“ he began but Scorpius met his eye.
“Albus,” he interrupted, his voice rising slightly and standing up. “I’m tired of this, okay? I don’t want to do this with you if you refuse to tell people.” Tears were prickling in his eyes and that was the last thing Albus wanted to see.
“Scorp, we talked about this.”
“No,” Scorpius bit at him. “No, you said we should keep it quiet for now and I agreed because what other goddamn choice did I have? I want to be with you but you keeping it quiet isn’t easy. I don’t want to sneak around with you. I figured at this point you’d stop caring so much about what other people think.”
Albus stared at him. Scorpius was rarely like this. He rarely raised his voice. He rarely tried to fight. It was only when he was really emotional and he was far past that point. Angry tears were rolling down his face as he spoke.
“It’s hard Scorp, you’re my best friend,” he said softly, his eyes drifting away. “And… and a guy.”
“Oh what, scared everyone will be disappointed that Harry Potter has a huge fucking gay for a son?” his tone was hostile, a jab that was meant to hurt.
“It’s not that – well not just that at least,” Albus replied. “It’s that how I feel about you is scary as fuck. I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
Scorpius took a deep breath and looked him in the eye. “Well, I think acting like a fucking wanker is going to ruin our friendship much faster than us dating.”
Albus opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He was right but that didn’t lower Albus’s fear.
When he didn’t reply Scorpius sighed. He picked up the bag he brought and stuffed his belongings into it.
“What are you doing?” Albus asked softly.
“I’m going home,” he muttered in reply.
“Scorp-“
“Not now, Albus. I don’t really want to be around you right now.” Before Albus could squeeze in another word, Scorpius Disapparated out of the room.
Albus stared at the spot where Scorpius had been. Scorpius wasn’t the type to leave when things were hostile but this wasn’t a situation they usually found themselves in. They both avoided going into detail of what their relationship meant, much less if they were going to tell people. They were both gay so it’s not like it could be avoided forever. But it was far too overwhelming. It was times like this he really wished he was like James. Athletic, a Gryffindor, straight. But he wasn’t any of those things. He’d continue to be the family disappointment, the black sheep. He definitely looked like his father but he was the farthest thing from being like him.
He made his way downstairs and when questioned where Scorpius was, he simply muttered his dad sent an owl telling him to come home. He was meant to stay a few more days but not so much that it would raise too many questions. His mum put a stack of pancakes in front of him and he poured honey on top of them.
“Can’t wait until I can Apparate everywhere,” Lily said taking a huge bite of her pancakes. “It’ll be so much easier.”
“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” his mum scolded. Lily grumbled and swallowed, muttering something under her breath.
“It’s hard to learn, Lils,” James said, spreading strawberry jam on his pancakes.
“Albus can do it so it can’t be that hard.”
“Haha,” he muttered in response.
“Stop arguing, kids,” their dad replied, his eyes not leaving the Daily Prophet. “Keep that up and you can’t come to the DA reunion.”
Albus almost groaned. He knew there was no way they wouldn’t be going to the reunion. When they had the first reunion in 2014 at the Quidditch World Cup, all the members who had children had brought them. This year would be no different, almost ten years later, this time renting out a hall in Diagon Alley. Now that they were all older they weren’t really given a choice. He didn’t really want to go through being told a million times that he’d grown. And as far as he knew no one in the DA had a kid sorted into Slytherin so he wouldn’t even see a friendly face aside from his cousins. Although, he still didn’t get along too well with them. Maybe aside from Professor Longbottom but he was still a teacher.
Lily muttered a “fine” and resumed to stuff pancakes into her mouth.
“Do I really have to go?” Albus asked.
“Yes, you do,” his dad said. “Don’t you want to see your cousins?”
“I could see them at Hogwarts if they talked to me,” he muttered.
“You’re coming,” his dad said defiantly.
“Fine,” he muttered. He almost added “if they’re okay with having a Slytherin there.” No matter how good his relationship with his dad was, distaste for Slytherins would always exist. Even being sorted into Hufflepuff wouldn’t have been as bad. At least people would’ve known he was loyal and hardworking, and at least people spent time with Hufflepuffs and not avoided them in the school corridor. Even Cedric Diggory was a Hufflepuff and he definitely would’ve had serious competition in the Tri Wizard Tournament when it came to being picked. It was a huge reason none of his cousins spent time with him. No matter what he did, no matter how much he tried to connect with them, he’d always be the cousin that got into Slytherin.
“Why couldn’t we have had it at the world cup last year?” James asked.
“Not everyone got tickets, more people can come this year, especially if we do it in a hall and rather than informally,” their dad explained. Albus was pretty thankful it wasn’t at a Quidditch game, he definitely didn’t want to be forced to play a game since he hated it so much with the add on of the winners celebrating for hours into the night.
“Do we have to wear dress robes?” Lily asked.
“’Course not,” he replied. “But at least try,” he said that while looking straight at Albus.
“Yes, yes, dad, I’ll try,” he grumbled in reply.
“C’mon, aren’t you at least a little excited to see some adult wizards, especially ones that fought in the second world war?” James asked.
“I’ve met ‘em before,” he muttered.
James sighed. “Fine, be like that.”
…
They travelled via floo powder to get to Diagon Alley since Lily was too young to Apparate and their mum didn’t want her to experience it too young. Lily tried to protest but they quickly got to their destination. Albus’s Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione were already there with their kids. Unsurprisingly, Rose had a book under her arm and an excited smile on her face. She was definitely excited to meet some older wizards, especially veterans of the Battle of Hogwarts. A few people were already there and cracks could be heard around the room as they Apparated, and more people travelling by floo powder.
Albus moved to the corner of the room, a glass of fire whisky with him. Some of his cousins had grouped together, seeming to split by age groups. DA members’ children who were friends grouped together too. Albus never really realised how everyone else seemed to get along with each other while he spent his time with Scorpius. It seemed so natural how they got along while he just stood at the sidelines. He didn’t mind people watching, it did save him from “you have grown so much” comments and awkward interactions with people who clearly didn’t want to be around him.
He let his eyes drift around the room, watching the DA members greet each other with hugs. He saw Professor Longbottom Apparate in with his wife, his round face grinning as he hugged Albus’s father. It was strange that this was the man who essentially saved the Wizarding World and had turned to being the Herbology teacher at Hogwarts. He was pretty good at his job though.
In the midst of wizards Apparating, he saw two men he vaguely recognised Apparate into the room. His family had gone to the 2022 Quidditch World Cup game held in France last year; Ireland vs France. His parents talked briefly to them, in nothing more than a quick catch up, before separating to find their seats. He didn’t remember them from 2014 when the last DA reunion was held but his young age might’ve played a role. He watched the taller of the two give friendly hugs to his dad and mum, clearly pleased to see each other.
There was something he didn’t miss though, something about the way they were standing together. The shorter of the two was talking animatedly, his hands touching the taller every so often, and the taller smiling down at the other, a look that was undeniably adoration.
He watched the way they interacted, the way the taller gave slung his arm over the shorter’s shoulders and gave it an affectionate squeeze, quickly dropping his arm. The way the shorter looked at the taller and would briefly brush his arm against the others. And they each wore a gold band around their left ring finger.
It was painfully obvious they were a couple, even without the rings.
His eyes followed the pair as they talked to other DA members, avidly catching up. The affectionate gestures continued, easy to miss if you weren’t paying close attention. They seemed… happy. Like, maybe he and Scorpius could be like that one day.
“Enjoying the party, Albus?”
He tore his eyes away from the couple to see Professor Longbottom, holding a glass of fire whisky, his cheeks plump from his grin.
“I guess,” he replied. Professor Longbottom had always been his favourite teacher, he always was one of the most kind at the school and never treated him – or Scorpius – the way others tended to.
“How’s your holidays going, finishing your homework?”
As he spoke he tried to look past him to the couple, grunting an “uh hu” as he did.
With a curious look Professor Longbottom followed Albus’s gaze to the couple who were making themselves comfortable in a sitting area, sitting on a loveseat that was adjacent to a couple of armchairs.
“Ah, Dean and Seamus, haven’t seen those two in years,” Professor Longbottom grinned turning back to Albus.
“Were you friends?” Albus asked, tearing his eyes away from the pair.
“Yeah, we were in the same year as your dad – they’re Gryffindors too. Roomed with them for too many years. Although during seventh year it was just me and Seamus – the shorter one – since Dean’s a Muggle-born and your dad an uncle were… well, you definely know the history.”
Albus nodded. “Must’ve missed each other pretty bad,” he muttered, looking at the two again. Dean laughed at something Seamus said and Seamus kept his hand on Dean’s knee affectionately.
“Yeah, definitely. Enough was going on in our seventh year, worst thing would to not go through it with the person you’re closest to.”
“Was Dean in Azkaban then?”
Professor Longbottom shook his head. “No, he was on the run then when he got back to Hogwarts he fought in the battle. I don’t know the full details but on the run is better than Azkaban.”
“I’d bet,” he muttered.
As he looked back at the couple he felt Professor Longbottom’s eyes on him. “You caught on that they’re a couple, then?”
Albus tore his eyes away. He nodded in response and the smile that had returned to Professor Longbottom’s lips didn’t falter. “You should talk to them.”
He stared at his teacher. Was he implying what he thought he was? “What’d you mean?”
He shrugged. “Nothin’, sure they got stories. Or advice.”
He looked at his teacher, then back at the couple. They seemed to be focussed on each other but not so much that it’d be rude to try and talk to them. But he hadn’t spoken to them himself, only in the awkward shadow of his parents.
“So they were best friends first, then?” he asked.
“Yep, definitely a story there.”
“I’d bet.”
He politely said goodbye to his professor and walked to the couple. How the hell was he going to approach this? He can’t just awkwardly go up to a couple he’d never spoken to before and ask “hey how’d you start dating?” But maybe their story would prompt him to sort things out with Scorpius as Professor Longbottom so heavily implied. With a final skull of his fire whisky he walked to the two and put on a smile that was somewhere between awkward and friendly.
“Damn, is that little Albus, there?” Seamus asked when he got closer.
“Don’t swear in front of the kid, Seamus,” Dean scolded, but there was affection in his voice.
“I’m not a kid, I’m seventeen,” he replied.
“Okay fine, you’re a full grown adult,” Seamus said with a cheeky smile.
“Did you want something?” Dean asked politely, ignoring his husband’s remarks.
“Uh, yes, sort of?” it came out more as a question than he would’ve preferred. “I just wanted to ask something?”
Dean and Seamus exchanged a brief look, their faces suggesting they were expecting a question they’d been asked multiple times before. “Okay, what?” Dean asked.
“How’d you guys, y’know, go from friends to now?”
That was definitely not the question either expected. Seamus gave Dean a confused look but Dean kept his eyes on Albus.
“Uh, why do you want to know?” Dean didn’t sound offended by the question but he was definitely confused by it.
“I’m just… curious?” he stammered out. He couldn’t keep the nerves out of his tone as hard as he tried as he face turned pink.
A knowing look passed through the two, a small smile on Seamus’s lips. “Really, aye?” he asked. “Just want to know our epic love story?” Seamus asked.
“It’s not epic,” Dean argued with a smile.
“Anything that involves a war – especially separation – is epic.”
“Is there more to why you want to know?” Dean asked. “If there is, we won’t tell your dad.”
“Oh yeah, we’ll keep it between us,” Seamus added.
When Albus didn’t reply, opting to stare at his feet, Dean said, “C’mon, pull up a chair. It’s okay.”
Albus sat in the armchair next to them and took a deep breath. He looked at them, trying to not let his eyes drift away. “Me and my best friend became more but he’s angry with me, because I won’t tell people.”
What he didn’t expect was the couple to smile at him. “Ah yes, that’s all too familiar,” Dean said. He turned to his husband. “Sounds like he’s a lot like you, eh?”
Seamus laughed. “Yep, definitely. You’re friends with Malfoy’s kid, right?”
Albus’s cheeks tinted but he nodded. “Yeah, it’s him.”
He didn’t understand how they could take it so lightly. Maybe because it had been so many years and they were passed the point he and Scorpius are at now.
“Whelp, fuckin’ Potter’s kid and Malfoy’s kid, who’d’ve guessed?” Seamus said as if he were ready to burst into laughter. That almost made him leave, he hated it when people were like this. He didn’t need to hear sneers about being the opposite of what was expected of him, even in a light hearted way.
“He’s saying that because they hated each other,” Dean assured when he saw Albus’s face.
“Yeah, people were bettin’ on Rose and Scorpius though,” Seamus said with a good natured laugh.
That brought a small smile to Albus’s lips. He remembered how Scorpius had that very brief crush on his cousin, one he later realised was him forcing himself to like a girl. Albus still wondered what would’ve happened if they did date.
“So uh, the story?” Albus prompted.
“Well, it’s a little long but we’ve got hours,” Seamus said with a grin. He cleared his throat. “You should know we weren’t just friends; we were best friends.”
…
Seamus had gone through some of his homework as he lay in the empty dorm room. His roommates had gone off to Harry’s Dumbledore’s Army business. He scoffed at that, surely his mother was right and it was simply all some publicity stunt.
…
“Why would you think that?” Albus interrupted.
“Because I was a stupid kid, can you not interrupt?”
…
Dean had decided to join but Seamus still wasn’t sure. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Harry but seriously, how the hell could You-Know-Who be back? The git did like to be the centre of attention far too often. He was still suspicious over the Goblet of Fire fiasco from the previous year. Even if it was that pretty boy Hufflepuff with hair that looked like it’d be real nice to run his fingers through and really nice grey eyes, who was the champion, at least he got in fairly.
He heard footsteps coming up the stairs and turned his head to see his best friend Dean walking in, a grin on his face.
“So how was it?” Seamus asked.
“Sorry, sworn to secrecy,” Dean replied with a cheeky smirk and a shrug.
“Really? Can’t tell me nothin’?”
“Well, I can say it was boring without you.” Dean fell onto Seamus’s bed, pulling up next to him and smiled.
“Still not gon’ join,” Seamus replied.
“Your call,” Dean shrugged. “So, excited for Christmas?”
“I guess,” he replied with a shrug. “Miss me family.”
Dean smiled at him. “Well, hopefully you won’t miss me too much.” He playfully poked Seamus side. Seamus flinched and laughed, trying not to blush at the comment. Whatever he was feeling for Dean had been easy to ignore when he wasn’t making comments like that.
“Who says I’d miss you at all?” he replied with a smile.
“Wanker,” he said affectionately.
…
Seamus didn’t know why he loved being in the cold so much. A part of him enjoyed the feeling of the cold biting his skin. Another part liked to watch snowflakes leave a fluffy blanket on the ground. Being at Hogwarts gave the add on of people watching. Despite being very much of an extrovert sometimes it was nice to watch people as they went about their business.
He watched some of his classmates. Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil, who were as inseparable as he and Dean were, sat with a book in their laps reading together. He was friends with them, good enough to ask Lavender to the Yule Ball as a friend. At the time she seemed like an option that made sense, maybe become boyfriend and girlfriend. But he spent the entire night with Dean too. Dean didn’t bring a date so he stayed with Seamus. You’d expect that Dean would’ve been a third wheel on the night but more than anything, Lavender was. She didn’t seem to annoyed with it, turning to talk to Padma, Parvati’s twin instead. That definitely marked it as a platonic date.
But during the night he’d tried to figure out why he didn’t have interest in her. She was pretty, he knew that much. But that’s where it ended. He didn’t want her to be his girlfriend. He didn’t want to kiss her. He didn’t want to do any of that. It was a constant thing for him. Why did no girl make him feel like that?
But when he had the chance to look around the room while Dean left to get a drink and Lavender was busy talking to Padma, his eyes fell onto Cedric Diggory who was dancing with Cho Chang. He was grinning at her and he was dressed pretty sharp in his dress robes. His soft hair had looked softer than ever. Despite being a seeker his build was strong and he was tall. Taller than Dean but not by much. He was extremely handsome, that was something he couldn’t ignore. He totally understood why so many girls fawned over him. He didn’t realise he was staring until Cedric looked right at him. He hadn’t looked creeped out, he simply gave Seamus a friendly smile and Seamus had looked away quickly, his face going red.
He didn’t know why he stared. He just got lost in Cedric’s appearance. He hadn’t known why. He hadn’t known why he hadn’t reacted to Fleur like all the others guy did. Whenever Fleur would enter a room Dean would go stiff and his eye wouldn’t leave the girl. He didn’t understand why he didn’t feel that why. He knew she was pretty but he didn’t understand why Cedric made him feel the way Fleur made the other boys feel. He didn’t understand why he looked at Cedric the way the girls were.
When it had dawned on him why he almost had a panic attack.
…
“You had a crush on Cedric Diggory?” Albus was close to laughing. “Seriously?”
“Hey! A lot of people did!” Seamus argued.
“He had it pretty bad, I don’t know how people didn’t notice.”
“Well, you didn’t. And I wasn’t the one drooling over Fleur, or the Veela at the ‘94 world cup.”
“Hey, gay boys ain’t effected so get off your superiority.”
Albus cleared his throat. “Uh, can you continue?”
…
His crush on Cedric didn’t last too long. The crush itself had manifested into utter distaste for him and belittling him to others whenever he could, the target being his looks. No one would have noticed his crush if he talked about them in a sarcastic tone.
That year felt like a long time ago. His crush was gone before Cedric’s death and attraction had snatched on to an even worse option; Dean.
Dean had definitely bulked up during the summer holidays before fifth year. He grown a few inches taller and he jaw was sharper. Seamus hadn’t ever noticed Dean like that but when he started to it didn’t cease. And it was scary as fuck.
A snowball hit Seamus in the back of his head and he turned to see a smirking Dean coming to sit next to him.
“Lookin’ at girls are you?” he asked playfully.
Seamus patted off the snow from his head and blushed. “Was the snowball necessary?” he asked.
“Yes, of course.”
“Wanker,” he muttered playfully.
Dean smiled at him and looked at Lavender and Parvati. “So, were you ever going to ask Lavender out again?” he asked.
Seamus’s gaze dropped to his lap. “Uh, nah. I didn’t really fancy her.”
“I’m surprised she wasn’t angry you ignored her like Padma was at Weasley.”
Seamus smiled. “Yeah, me too.” She honestly hadn’t seemed to care much at all.
“You really didn’t need to talk to me instead just because I didn’t have a date.”
“Well, maybe I talked to you because I like you more than I like her,” he said, smiling.
Dean laughed. “Yeah, and she probably wanted to go with Diggory like every other girl in this school.”
He had to stop himself from saying, “and probably some of the boys” but he didn’t. Instead, he said, “You mean like how you wanted to go with Fleur?”
Dean waved him off. “Yeah, I guess. But to be fair I heard she’s part Veela so it wasn’t totally my fault. I’m surprised you didn’t take interest.”
“Uh, well maybe I just have a resistance or somethin’.” You could call it a resistance. Not being attracted to girls was definitely a resistance.
Dean chuckled. “Yeah well looks like most of the guys don’t so don’t hold it against me.”
Seamus smiled and looked away. His eyes drifted over to some seventh year Hufflepuffs. There was a mixture of genders so Dean wouldn’t get suspicious but his eyes fell on a Hufflepuff. His hair was jet black and was of Korean decent. His teeth were impossibly white. He still didn’t know his name but Seamus remembered him catching his eye in first year. It took his mind off of the feeling brought in his gut by Dean for a sparing moment.
“Anyways, were you wanting to come back inside? It’s fuckin’ freezing and you still have homework to finish,” Dean said, cutting Seamus out of his trance.
He looked back his best friend, who was smiling right at him. Dean was the much more studious one of the pair and if it weren’t for him most of Seamus’s homework would’ve always waited until the last minute.
“Will you help me?” Seamus asked with his best smile.
Dean smiled back. “Okay fine, only because I like you so much.”
…
“Dean, Seamus! Come sit with us!” Lavender said, waving her arm as they passed the compartment. With a shrug the pair made their way into the compartment, sitting across from Lavender and Parvati.
“Hey guys,” Seamus said. “Where’s ye sister, Parvati?”
She shrugged. “She always sits with her friends,” she said. “Anything special happening over the holiday?”
“I’m spending it with me dad’s side of the family,” Seamus said. “They’re muggles though and don’t know ‘bout Hogwarts. Think I’m at some muggle boarding school.”
“I’m sure your girlfriend misses you,” Lavender said with a playful smile.
“Haha,” Seamus replied sarcastically. “What’re you doing then?”
“Just the usual stuff, family dinner. My family are all wizards so I don’t need to hide anything. Down side is they’ll ask how I’m doing in my classes.”
“We don’t celebrate Christmas but I really like the holidays,” smiled Parvati. “Mostly because I get to see Padma. Being separated by house really sucks.”
Dean nodded. “Yeah, weird how you were separated but all the Weasley’s are together.”
“What about you?” Lavender asked. “You’re a muggle born, right?”
Dean nodded. “Yeah, just spending it with my mum and step family. Nothing special.”
“I’ll be sure to send you some letters so you’re not too bored ‘round the muggles,” Seamus smiled.
“You better,” Dean smiled at him. As he did, Seamus didn’t miss the knowing look the girls exchanged.
…
“So they knew?” Albus asked, cocking his head to the side.
“Yeah, they were pretty intuitive,” Seamus laughed.
“Or we were just obvious,” Dean interjected.
“Yeah, that too. Kind of silly to think we didn’t catch on to the other really.”
“Yeah, especially when you were looking at guys right in front of him,” Albus said with a laugh.
“Okay, okay, baby gay me was too obvious. But it was also a different time,” Seamus defended. “I was scared and confused – which we’ll get to soon.”
…
Seamus’s dad invited some friends over a few days before Christmas, a few deciding to bring their children. One brought their daughter who was a year younger than Seamus. She kept smiling at him from across the room and when she got the chance she made her way to Seamus’s side.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi?” he replied. She was pretty, he’d admit that. She kind of looked like Lavender. Her hair was straight blonde, reaching to her waist. She was wearing bright red lipstick which surprisingly hadn’t found its way to her teeth. And she had dark brown eyes, as dark as Dean’s.
He chewed his lip as she batted her eye lashes at him. He wasn’t used to girls around his age showing interest in him. Most girls at Hogwarts around his age had known him for years and that seemed to lead to them not seeing him as a romantic prospect. Other guys obviously showed no interest in him. Other guys didn’t think about other guys like that.
So he took in the girl. He flirted along with her. She was definitely intrigued when he said he went to a boarding school in Scotland. He avoided the subject and simply asked about her. He had absolutely no interest in her but this was what you’re meant to do at his age. He was meant to snog girls when he could, especially one showing so much interest.
“Wan’ go outside? Somewhere alone?” he asked. He couldn’t suggest his room as it had all his magical possessions.
She nodded and they walked to the back yard. She giggled as he took her gently by the wrist and pulled her to the bushes. When they found a secluded spot she grinned at him and he smiled at her. Yeah, she was definitely really pretty but not the pretty he wanted to kiss. Not Diggory, not that seventh year Hufflepuff, not Dean. She was a girl and no matter how much he forced himself he didn’t feel how he was meant to about girls.
Regardless of that he kissed her. She smiled against his lips and kissed him back. It wasn’t awful, he’d admit that. But it didn’t feel right, he wasn’t enjoying it. When he looked at guys, when they smiled at him, he got knots in his stomach. He felt nothing when this girl smiled at him flirtatiously. He felt nothing when her fingers tangled in his hair. He didn’t want to snog her. He didn’t want to snog any girl.
He wanted to snog fucking Dean.
…
Seamus was still slightly dazed from his realisation over Christmas break. Being a poof was bad enough but this crush on Dean was the worst it could get. He’d been pushing it from his mind for months but after snogging the muggle girl, he couldn’t deny it anymore.
“Hey, wanker!”
Dean turned and smiled when he saw Dean pushing his trolley along platform 10 of King’s Cross station. Seamus smiled and left his trolley with his mum to run to him.
“Aye, dickhead,” he said and patted Dean’s back a friendly hug. When he stepped away he greeted Dean’s mum with a nod. “Ma’am,” he smiled.
“Hello, Seamus,” she said with a small laugh and a smile. “Enjoy your Christmas?”
Seamus nodded at her. “Yes, ma’am.” He turned back to Dean. “C’mon, let’s get a good seat ‘fore they’re all taken.”
They ran onto platform 9 ž and gave their mothers their farewells before getting onto the train.
“So, anythin’ fun happen over the holidays?” Dean asked when they found an empty compartment.
“I snogged a girl,” Seamus said, scratching the back of his neck. Maybe if he pretended he didn’t have these feelings for Dean they’ll just go away.
Dean smiled at him. “Did you, aye?” he asked. “So you got yourself a girlfriend?”
“Nah, we just snogged a little. We’ll probably never see each other again.” And he didn’t want to. When they stopped snogging he made an excuse and ran up to his room, wiping the lipstick marks from his mouth and lain on his bed, trying to process his realisation. He knew he was attracted to Dean but an actual crush was different. It made him sick and he was angry with himself for feeling this way.
“Shame, no girl at school want to snog you.”
“What’s this about snogging?”
The compartment door opened as Parvati and Lavender bounced in, sitting across from the two.
“Seamus snogged a girl during the holidays,” he smiled and Seamus blushed.
“You did, huh?” Lavender asked, smiling.
“It was just some muggle girl, her dad works with mine,” he muttered.
“So when’s the wedding?” Parvati teased.
Seamus smiled. “Keep that up and you can’t come.”
They bantered a little and talked about their holidays
When they got back to Hogwarts Seamus and Dean went straight to their dorm, falling down onto Dean’s bed.
“So, what’ll take to convince you to come to the DA meeting?” Dean asked.
“Really, doin’ this again?” Seamus asked, turning his head to Dean.
“Look, can you come for one? Why do you refuse to believe You-Know-Who’s back?”
Seamus was silent for a moment. Truthfully, it was scary. If You-Know-Who was back that would mean death and terror. Dean was a muggle-born and everyone knew they would be at threat the most. He didn’t want to think of anything bad happening to Dean.
“I guess it’s just scary,” he said instead. “Anything could happen if he’s really back.”
“That’s why we need to learn to defend ourselves,” Dean said and he ran his fingers through Seamus’s hair. Seamus stopped himself from flinching away at that. “We even learnt how to do a Patronus.”
“Seriously?” Dean nodded. “Fine, I’ll go.”
…
“Expecto Patronum!” Seamus shouted and grinned when he saw something shoot out of his wand. It was a full Patronus but it only lasted a few moments. “I think it’s somethin’ hairy!”
“Nice, mate!” Dean grinned and patted his shoulder. He smiled at him over his shoulder and grinned back.
Before he could try enough times to figure out what it was, a house elf came into the room. Seamus looked in confusion but he warned everyone that Umbridge was coming. Before Seamus could react, Dean grabbed his hand and pulled him with him out of the Room of Requirement. He stumbled over his feet but got his footing, keeping up with Dean. Dean kept a firm grip on his hand so he was running faster than he was used to. They got to the Fat Lady and blurted out the password. He wasn’t able to check if any of the other Gryffindors were behind them but they panted in the common room, falling onto a couch.
“That was close,” he panted out.
“Definitely,” Dean nodded. “C’mon, let’s get to our dorm. Maybe we can avoid the bitch that way.”
Seamus nodded and they walked to their dorm. It was empty so they sat on Dean’s bed. They were quiet for a moment and Seamus let his sweaty hair fall into his face. His knee was pressing against Dean thigh as Seamus still lightly panted. He didn’t have the best stamina especially compared to Dean’s. It was nice holding Dean’s warm hand for a little bit though.
He heard Dean sigh and he felt Dean’s hand brush his hair out of his face. He was looking Seamus right in the eye and was chewing his bottom lip. He pulled his behind Seamus’s head and he closed the small space between them by bringing Seamus’s lips to his.
Their lips moved gently together, slowly. This was how he imagined kissing that girl should’ve felt. Rather than not minding the kiss, he felt butterflies in the pit of his stomach. He felt the connection. It felt… right.
He pulled away first, and sat up. Dean looked up at him, looking disappointed. Seamus looked down at him surprised. “Sorry,” Dean whispered. “I don’t know why I...”
“No, it’s… it was okay,” he stuttered out. Or more than okay. Really nice actually. “Found a loophole in that eight-inches rule though, aye?”
Dean didn’t laugh. He sat up and looked down at his lap. “That took a lot for me to do, y’know.”
Fuck. This wasn’t how this was meant to happen. But he didn’t want to see Dean hurt like this. He sat up and while sitting on his knees, he leaned over to Dean. He held Dean’s face in his hands as he gently kissed him. Dean seemed slightly surprised at first but he kissed him back, his hands holding his hips.
When he kissed Dean, it was like time had slowed down and sped up at the same time. It was a comforting feelings. Doing this with Dean felt right.
However, they were broken apart by loud footsteps. Seamus jumped off his bed and they both sat up, trying to act casual.
Neville came into the room and his face was read from running and was panting heavily.
“You okay, Longbottom?” Seamus asked.
He nodded, wheezing slightly and collapsed on his bed. Seamus looked back at Dean, who was sitting and hugging his knees. He smiled at Seamus and said, “Well, better get to bed.”
“Right,” Seamus said.
…
The dorm was empty when Seamus had gotten upstairs. He wasn’t sure where Dean was but he’d been avoiding him. He didn’t want to confront his feelings for Dean. Sure, he kissed him first but he didn’t let Dean leave it, he just had to kiss him back. Who knows how long they would’ve gone if Neville hadn’t walked in. They rarely got time alone in their dorm so if they were ever going to talk about what happened it’d have to be in times like this.
He stared at the ceiling, laid on his bed. His curtains were closed to not be disturbed. Maybe if Dean walked up he’d turn around. Maybe he’d just forget it happened. Maybe they’d just leave it behind them as a fluke, never speak of it again, and marry girls like they were meant to.
…
“You really thought that?” Albus asked, frowning at Seamus.
“It was the 90’s,” Seamus replied. “It was long before marriage equality. And we live in Ireland so we couldn’t officially get married until 2015.”
Dean nodded. “We both really didn’t know how to deal with the situation, things really were real different back then. Judgment and all. I didn’t care but…” his eyes darted to Seamus.
Seamus nodded, rather shamefully. “It was tough. When you’re told so much you’re meant to marry a girl falling, for a bloke, best friend or not, is tough.”
…
The door to the dorm opened and close and the curtains were pulled back at the foot of the bed. Seamus looked over to see Dean, grinning right at Seamus.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hi,” Seamus replied, giving him an awkward smile.
“Room for ‘nother?”
Seamus smiled and shuffled over. They would lay in one of their beds together a lot. They just hadn’t done it with the curtains closed. That’d make it feel much smaller, a reason to lay closer.
“Sure,” he decided to say, shuffling over to make room. Dean smiled and crawled in next to him, He used his wand to close the curtain behind him and rested his head next to Seamus’s.
“Comfy?” he asked, playfully poking his side.
“I guess,” he mumbled.
Dean looked at him for a moment. “So… that kiss…” he prompted.
Seamus looked at him, his eyelids half closed. “Why’d you do it?”
Dean chewed his lip. “Maybe I have liked you for a while?” he said softly. “Why’d you kiss me? What happened to the muggle girl?”
Seamus pressed his lips together. “I didn’t like kissing her,” he replied, closing his eyes. “I don’t think girls are my things.”
“Oh,” was all Dean said.
“Oh?” he asked, opening his eyes. “That’s all you have to say?” when Dean didn’t say anything Dean sighed. “I didn’t actually want to be a poof,” he said, barely above a whisper, looking away.
He felt Dean run his fingers through his hair. “So what if you, or should I say we, are?”
Seamus was quiet, and he felt Dean’s warm breath as he sighed. “What if we… we keep it quiet?”
Seamus met his eye again. “What?”
“I really like you, and you kissed me back so I assumed you feel something too.”
“Yeah… I do.”
“So what if we just… don’t tell people until you’re ready?”
Seamus stared at him. Being together could mean anything. Disappointment from their families, friends turning on them, a much harder life. He knew this piece of him wouldn’t just disappear.
“Okay, yeah,” Seamus nodded. “I’d like that.”
…
For the months that followed they snuck around, snogging at times they could. The times that they could were rare but a lot of the time they stole smiles and sat together in classes – the latter was easy to get away with as they’d already done it since first year.
Seamus still wasn’t at the point where he could tell other people. If someone passed their dorm when they were alone cuddling or snogging, Seamus would jump off the bed and get away from Dean. Luckily if it was one of their dorm mates they were far too oblivious to notice either of them were acting a bit off.
Dean didn’t hide that it bothered him whenever Seamus did that. But he’d seemed to be avoiding to talk about it. Seamus understood he wasn’t the biggest fan of the situation. If they were going to be a couple – a real couple – he wanted people to know. It didn’t feel real if they just kissed in secret. He wasn’t ashamed of how he felt about Dean but he was scared as fuck.
They were settled on Dean’s bed, Seamus under Dean as they snogged under the sheets. Seamus’s in Dean’s hair, careful not to tug on the tight curls. The end of the year nearing and they’d hopefully see each other over the school holidays. Getting in time to snog – and maybe go on a date without raising suspicions – would be easier.
In the midst of their snogging, Seamus heard footsteps come close to the dorm. In his panic he shot up from under Dean, pushing Dean in the process, and falling to the floor, quickly crawling backward to his bed. He listened carefully as the footsteps grew softer and farther away from their room. He let out a huff of relief and stood up.
“That was close,” he said and looked at Dean. He looked… downright pissed off. “What?”
“Seriously?” he grunted. “You seriously did that?”
“And what would’ve we said if someone came in?” Seamus asked, crossing his arms.
“Tell them that we’re together maybe?” Dean glared. “And they wouldn’t’ve cared.”
“How do we know that?”
“You really think Longbottom’ll care? Or Potter and Weasley?” he said through gritted teeth. “Because they won’t, you git.”
“Dean, please calm down-“
“Calm down?” he huffed. “Look, I only said we could keep this quiet until you’re ready because I thought you’d quickly get over it. But I don’t know if I want to be with you if you’re going to be like this.”
“Like what?”
“Fucking closeted like this!”
“Fucking easy for you to say!” he snapped back, his rage coming out. “I can’t make meself like girls. You’re bi, if you wanted you can go off with a girl. So much easier since that’s what we’re meant to do.”
Dean took a deep breath and looked Seamus right in the eye. “Fine, maybe I’ll do that instead.” And before Seamus could get in another word Dean stormed out of the room. Tears prickled in his eyes and he took a deep breath and sank onto the floor.
He’d fucked up big time.
…
Seamus spent the summer without talking to Dean. The last time they’d really spoken was the blow out at each other. He’d thought of sending a letter to Dean but he couldn’t figure out what to write. He’d thought about apologising but he refused to. He had nothing to be sorry for. He wasn’t ready to tell anybody that he and Dean were dating, much less that he was gay.
…
“But you had a point!” Albus interrupted. “You weren’t ready.
“Right,” Seamus said. “But I also didn’t care that I was hurting Dean.” he looked at his husband and squeezed his knee. “Really, I did care way too much about how others thought of me. Me not wanting to tell people was what put the strain on our relationship. Some people are in unsafe situations where they can’t tell, but we weren’t. I just cared about people giving me dirty looks. I knew your dad and uncle – and Neville – wouldn’t care but I imagined the worst situation. I was mostly scared because of me family. Didn’t know how much old Irish values would impact ‘em. Me dad comes a Catholic family – obviously – and he had enough trouble processing me ma’m’s a witch.”
“So what happened then?”
…
“You gettin’ your homework done, Seamus?” his mum asked part way through breakfast.
His dad shuffled in his seat as he read the newspapers but Seamus ignored it. He didn’t need to be comfortable with it as long as he didn’t treat either him or his mum like they were possessed by a demon.
“Yeah,” he shrugged.
“You been talkin’ to any friends?”
He shook his head. “No.”
She gave him a concerned look. “What ‘bout Dean?”
At that question he stuffed eggs into his mouth and shrugged as he chewed. Thankfully his mum didn’t push, catching on there was some sort of rift between the two.
“Do you have other friends at the school?” his dad asked, looking over his newspaper.
“Yeah, I’m friends with a couple of the girls,” he said. If he needed any affirmation of liking girls that would hopefully do it.
“Pretty?” his dad asked.
“Yeah, I went to the formal with one last year.”
His dad smiled and resumed reading. He felt a pang in his stomach and took a long sip of his tea. He felt his mum’s eyes on him as he did, almost calculating his expression and mannerisms. God forbid she caught on.
“You should write Dean to see how he’s goin’,” she said.
“Maybe later.”
…
He didn’t end up sending him a letter and when he caught the Hogwarts express he didn’t go looking for him. He found a compartment with Lavender and Parvati, not bothering to look for Dean. Neither girl questioned him but they didn’t hide the concern on their faces. As they talked, Seamus stared out the window, watching the scenery pass. He didn’t get anything like he usually would when the trolley witch passed, even though he was pretty hungry but at the same time, he didn’t have an appetite. He simply said he was saving room for the feast.
He was able to avoid Dean until they were in the dorm room. He was getting ready for bed and he was the only one in the dorm.
“Hey,” he said slowly.
“Hey,” he replied, not trying to keep the bitterness out of his tone.
“Did you have a good holiday?” his teeth sunk into his bottom lip.
“It was fine,” he muttered, looking away from him.
An uncomfortable silence fell between them, the tension thick in the room. He should just apologise. If he apologised maybe they’d figure something out. Maybe he’d work on trying to come out. Maybe they could tell their roommates. That’s a step forward. Surly they wouldn’t care. And it’d definitely make Dean happy-
“I’m dating Ginny Weasley now.” That got Seamus’s attention.
…
“Wait, you dated my mum?” Albus asked, looking at Dean in surprise.
Dean chuckled at that and Seamus looked annoyed. “Yeah, and you’ll find out what happened if you stop interrupting,” Seamus said annoyed, clearly frustrated with Albus’s constant interrupting.
…
He looked at him across the room. “You said I should date a girl, it’s easier like you said.”
He took a deep breath, trying to hold off his tears. “Hope you’re fuckin’ happy,” he said bitterly.
“We are,” He said it like it was a challenge.
“Good.” Yeah, he was ready to cry but there was no way he’d do it in front of Dean.
…
Hogwarts was different without Dean. He didn’t have someone he could always sit with, usually finding his way next to other Gryffindors with a spare seat. Looks of confusion were definitely given when he was seen without Dean. When asked he’d just mutter something about Dean being with Ginny but it didn’t always work out in classes. No one pushed but people were definitely curious. It was understandable, they’d been inseparable since they were first years. It was always the two of them together, they were almost a package deal. So one without the other somewhere they’d surely be together was strange to their classmates.
Dean didn’t even try to act like he wasn’t trying to make Seamus jealous. He found Dean snogging Ginny in the common room-
…
“You know,” Albus said, “This may sound crazy but I don’t want to hear about my mum snogging anyone.”
…
Seamus had to try and not look a combination of jealous and heartbroken. To anyone else it was an annoying couple but it was like Dean was saying he could snog her in full view of everyone and not him. And all because he was a huge fucking coward who cared too much of what other thought.
When he went upstairs, he saw Ron muttering something under his breath as he did his homework.
“Hey, Weasley,” he muttered going to his bed.
“Hey,” he grunted. “They still snogging?”
“Yep,” he replied bitterly.
“What’re you pissed for, not like Dean’s your brother or anything.”
“I’m not pissed,” he replied defensively. “And shouldn’t you be droolin’ over Granger?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ron defended, then huffed. “And you are pissed. I would assume it had something to with Dean starting to ignore you but you’ve seemed to be avoiding him.”
“Piss off, Weasley.”
…
Ginny came storming into the common room and Dean was awkwardly on her tail. “I said I didn’t push you!” he said.
“I said I don’t care, Dean. I already broke up with you.”
Seamus’s eyes followed them, as did everyone else’s who were in the common room. Everyone was silent but before Dean could get anymore words in Ginny ran up to the girls’ dorms. Dean stood frozen at the foot of the staircase, knowing there was no bother trying to get up there without the steps turning into a slide.
He sighed and when he turned around, his eyes locked with Seamus’s. They hadn’t spoken in months. Too many months for them. He bit his lip and clearly broke under everyone’s eyes being on him, and he went upstairs. Seamus watched him as he walked upstairs to the boys’ dorm. Seamus pressed his lips together, stood up, and followed Dean upstairs.
He opened the door to their room, and cleared his throat. Dean looked over at him and huffed. “Enjoy that, did ya?”
Seamus shuffled on his feet. He took a deep breath and decided it was time to swallow his pride.
“I’m sorry.”
Dean met his eye and cocked his head to the side. “What?”
“I’m sorry for… refusing to come out. For saying you should just… date a girl.”
Dean pressed his lips together. “You should be.” Seamus didn’t argue, he was right. “Look, that thing about be just dating a girl that somehow easier is fucking bullocks. I can’t choose,” he hesitated. “I can’t choose who I fall for, Seamus.”
Seamus nodded, realising he had a completely valid point. “I’m a total fucking wanker,” he said. “I’m sorry.”
Dean smiled and with his wand closed the door. He stepped closer to him, took his face into his hands, and kissed him. Seamus kissed him back gently, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist. Right now, even if things weren’t completely fixed at least they were back to this.
…
When Gryffindor won the final Quidditch game for the year Seamus ran to Dean and hugged him as Dean bellowed with laughter. They went back to the common room for the celebratory party and they shared a bottle of butter bear. Everyone was beyond excited over the victory and Harry seemed to be too since he kissed Ginny in front of everyone, being met with wolf whistles and hollers. Dean stared at the two in surprise, not sure what to do in the situation. Seamus saw Ron give Harry a shrug of approval and the new couple grinned in joy.
“That was fast,” Dean muttered.
Seamus looked over at Dean, then back at everyone else who were continuing their celebration. He was thinking of telling Dean how he was one to talk, but he decided to show him instead.
He grabbed him by the collar of his robes, pulled Dean to him, and he kissed him. In front of everyone.
Dean was definitely surprised at first but he kissed him back, smiling into the kiss, clearly happy Seamus was over his fear of what other were thinking of them. There were a couple holler of “I knew it’s” and a couple of playful wolf whistles but no one seemed to care that two boys were kissing in the common room.
“Talk about moving on fast,” Lavender teased when they pulled away, grinning at the two.
…
“It wasn’t always sunshine after that though,” Seamus said. “We were separated during the war because Dean was on the run for being a muggle-born.”
Dean nodded. “It was terrifying; we didn’t know if the other was alive or not.”
…
Seventh year was meant to be a good year, not a year you fended off a war. More so, it wasn’t a year you were meant to go through thinking to person you loved most in the world was dead.
The months went by, the DA tried to defend the school but this wasn’t something people their age should experience. Seamus had marks from the Carrows clear on his face but he didn’t care about that. He cared the boy he loved was in danger. He cared that he didn’t know if Dean was alive or dead. He cared that Dean didn’t know if he was alive or dead. And he was especially pissed off there was nothing he could do to make sure Dean was safe.
But then the day came.
The door leading to connected to Hog’s Head in the Room of Requirement opened and out came the boy Seamus loved most in this world.
He didn’t even have to think, with a roar of delight, he ran to Dean and threw his arms around him, holding him tight, as if he would disappear again if he didn’t. Dean nuzzled into the crook of Seamus neck, both of them lightly sobbing, whimpers of “I missed you” were exchanged. When they pulled away, Dean took Seamus’s face into his hands and kissed him, tasting each other’s salty tears. No one interrupted them, they were either not paying attention or knew that couple needed this moment, need their reunion.
“I love you,” Seamus whimpered out. Words that had been on his tongue since they were separated, finally in the air.
“I love you too,” Dean sobbed out in response.
When they pulled away, Dean held Seamus’s face in his hands. “Oh my god, what happened?” he asked, his eyes widening at the scars on his face.
“I’m fine, don’t worry,” Seamus assured. “Just some battle scars.”
Dean nodded, gently running his fingers over the marks. There was still a battle to fight in.
…
“Can you skip the history lesson and jump to the parent stuff?” Albus asked.
“Oh, not much to say on that,” Seamus shrugged. “Told our parents, they said they had suspicions. That’s it.”
“Really, that’s it?”
“Your family was real supportive of us; I doubt they’d be any different with you.”
Dean gave him a warm smile. “Really, if you take anything from this, it’s that we were way happier when we weren’t keeping it a secret.”
Albus bit his lip and nodded. He definitely got their story, that he was essentially Seamus in this situation.
He needed to talk to Scorpius.
“Albus!” a voice called and he saw his Aunt Hermione walking to the group. “Your dad’s looking for you, almost time to go.”
“Oh, okay,” he said and hastily stood up.
“Hey, Granger,” Seamus grinned at her.
Aunt Hermione smiled at the two. “Oh hey you two. Was meaning to say hi, keeping Albus busy huh? Better than sitting in the corner.”
“Yeah, just told him some school stories,” Dean smiled.
“You got a lot, I’m sure,” Aunt Hermione laughed.
Albus left the three to catch up and went to find his parents. James waved him over to them and he walked over, his hands in his pockets.
“Where were you?” James asked.
Albus shrugged. “Talking to some of dad’s old classmates,” he shrugged.
“Who?”
“I don’t know what their last names are, but Dean and Seamus.”
“Oh, you met Dean and Seamus?” his mum smiled.
He nodded. “Yeah, they’re nice. Seem happy together.”
His mum nodded. “Yeah, they were best friends for years before ending up together.”
“Does he mean Mr and Mr Thomas-Finnigan?” James asked.
“Yeah, the couple we ran into at the world cup last year.”
“Why were you talking to them?” Lily asked, cocking her head to the side.
“Professor Longbottom told me to,” he said. “Said they’re fun and have good stories.” It was half the truth so he decided to run with it.
His dad was finishing his goodbyes with the members of the DA. He and Uncle Ron had joined Hermione with talking to Dean and Seamus. The four were smiling, conversing like the old classmates they were.
“Mum, can I Apparate home this time?” James asked.
“No, James.”
“Ugh, but why not?”
“Albus, have you said bye to Dean and Seamus?” his mum asked, ignoring James.
“No, didn’t get a chance,” He replied.
“Well, go be polite and give them a proper farewell.”
He nodded and made his way over to the two. His Aunt and Uncle had left with their children but his dad was still there.
“Uh, it was nice meeting you properly,” Albus said to the couple.
They smiled at him. “You too, Albus,” Dean said.
“What’d you even tell him about, anyway?” his dad asked.
“Just school stories,” Seamus said.
“Far less interesting than the stories you have to tell him, I’m sure,” Dean said.
His dad smiled. “Nah, I’m sure you two have plenty of stories I missed.”
The couple simply smiled in response to the comment. “Well, we got to get home anyway, it’s pretty late.”
“It was great seeing you two again,” his dad said.
“You too,” Dean said.
“Good luck at Hogwarts, Albus,” Seamus said giving him a quick wink. Albus smiled, knowing exactly what he meant by that.
And the two Apparated out of the room with a loud crack.
“Those two seriously haven’t changed,” his dad said.
“That’s good to know.”
…
Albus had debated in his mind what to do first; whether he should tell his parents he was gay or try to make up with Scorpius.
He’d settled on telling his parents first. Even if Scorpius didn’t take him back he still couldn’t hide his sexuality from his parents. So as he was walking up the stairs to go to bed one night, he’d called down that he was gay. Instantly, he was met with acceptance and especially hugs from everyone. Dean and Seamus definitely weren’t wrong and he realised this was the easy part.
He started by sending Scorpius an owl, stating he’d told his parents that he was gay, so he could only hope Scorpius decided to read it. He was expecting an owl to be sent back or to be ignored but instead he got something that was completely unexpected.
Scorpius Apparated right into his room.
He couldn’t get any words out because Scorpius’s lips were on his, kissing him over and over and over, apologising for being horrible to Albus in between each kiss.
He told Albus that during their time apart he told his dad he was gay and, being the loving father he was, he accepted him immediately. Of course they did eventually tell their families they were more than friends and that was accepted fast too. When the news got around Hogwarts everyone seemed the farthest from surprised.
At the end of Herbology one day, Albus decided to ask Professor Longbottom something that had been on his mind for too long.
“Excuse me, Professor?” he asked as everyone had cleared out.
“Yes Albus?” Professor Longbottom ask, his cheeks extra plump.
“Did you know about me and Scorpius? Is that why you told me to talk to Dean and Seamus?” Professor Longbottom smiled and nodded. “How’d you know?”
“Albus, I roomed with Dean and Seamus for six years, I know what it looks like when two best friends fall in love.”
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