#wish i didn't delete them :(
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talking about the topic of animated movies not Hitting, I accidentally reminded myself of one time on twitter, I think around the time that Raya came out?? I was poopooing on how much the dragon looks like elsa, and then talked about how I wish 2d animated and hand animated films were still The Medium instead of nothing but the highest resolution skin texture fur textured 3d animated films bc I'm tired of seeing it, etc etc and then someone who I was not mutuals with, they must've been someone working under the disney IP in some form, and must've either done some work on raya or just worked on 3d animated projects in general, replied to me SEVERAL TIMES as if I was subtweeting them, with something to the tone of "just say you hate me and you think my art is trash" and I think about that ALL the time
#I wish I could find what they said bc it was so much weirder than what I paraphrased. but this was years ago#like I had accidentally REALLY. bothered them and they thought the tweets were directed straight at them.#they were following me apparently (unfollowed me after that. obviously. bc they decided that I hated them specifically)#(bc I didn't like the dragon design from raya and I was fantasizing about it being 2d animated)#they deleted the tweets like 24 hours later but I was literally like. I'm sure you do good work???#i'm sorry you feel that way but rn i'm trying to complain about this very mainstream movie?? this is not a personal attack???#but now whenever I say something about a movie looking like dookie I imagine someone messaging me going “just say you hate me”#bc they did some concept art for it or something#shouts out to that person they were obviously doing really well emotionally to have come at me in that way lmao#sergle.txt#they obviously felt that we were in a Personal Argument but i wasn't wanting to argue and the interaction was not personal so it was very#one sided lol
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HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Doctor Who (2005)
#dwedit#doctor who#usertennant#userveronika#usertoph#userteri#scifiedit#*#it's still halloween for me even if it isn't for people in most other time zones fjsdlfsd#rip to s1&s4 i didn't like ur gifs so i deleted them </3#now i wish i had deleted the gif for s8 too..... oh well
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I was laying in bed overthinking, as you do, and started to go on a depressive doom spiral. And then, to distract myself I started thinking about the things I like.
[Spoilers and some gross details incoming, you know what Mouthwashing is about]
So, eventually I started thinking about Curly being in a similar headspace as I was, laying down, incapable of doing anything, constantly in pain and hearing time and time again how quickly things are going to shit and that it's all your fault.
Him replaying his mistakes over and over on his head, imagining the many ways things could've gone a different way if only he had done something instead of ignoring the issues to "keep the peace".
Remembering every interaction that led to the accident, Anya's confession, his friends poorly disguised resentment, him ignoring and filtering details of his crew's mental state, her taking the gun, the notice, Jimmy.
Him being a coward and disguising his hate of confrontation with the guise of being a good friend.
And then comming back to reality, to is burning flesh. To the blood, shit and bile staining the bandages, robe and bed, to watching and hearing his friends suffer and die, unable to do anything.
When the kid dies, in the midst of all the emotional chaos, he feels some sick sense of relief knowing that probably Swansea will deal with both of them quickly and it'll be over at last.
Then Jimmy finds the gun.
And he can't help but laugh. He remembers the conversation they had and he cackles bitterly because not even in death can her wishes be respected. She trusted him and he failed her even after she was gone.
Soon enough it's just the two of them left.
Through muffled ears he hears Jimmy rambling, talking to himself, asking questions and answering right after, he sees him moving the bodies around. When Jimmy carries him from the infirmary to the common room table he's still as stone, not a sound leaves his mouth, he doesn't look at the bodies thrown on the chairs around the table, he doesn't even breathe.
But all of Jimmy's attention, hatred, idolatry, and envy are on him only. Eyes glossy, cut pieces of a one sided conversation and a tentative smile on his lips when he reaches for the slightly dented knife.
He screams until his lungs close and his throat burns. When he's fed parts of himself he cries and throws up until he is forced to swallow and keep it down.
He's dehidrated, half delirious from the blood loss and emotionally checked out when Jimmy picks him up and tells him they can still fix this, he knows what to do. That he's going home.
Sure, he thinks, he wants to go home.
When he's placed on the cryopod he just stares at Jimmy talk to himself at him some more, about being heroes and everything being all right now. Then he steps out of sight.
It's on the silence after the loud bang when his brain starts working again, he's completely and utterly alone on a crashed ship of a company that's closing it's doors, with a now depleted shipment that wasn't even important enough to guarantee a search party, and no way of fending for himself in the case of 20 years passing and no one coming, even less if the power gave out before that.
As the cryopod finally starts to cool, the few tears he has left fall from his remaining eye.
He hopes he doesn't wake up to see what happens next.
..ok see y'all when I wake up-
#I wish I was better at talking about the themes of the game and characterizing the crew. There's so much I wanna say-#I want to play the game again just to see if I missed anything in here but it's almost 6 am and my brain is shutting down#I would blame stress and insomnia on this but I legit think about this when I come across the tag again#I want to talk about his guilt of wishing he never helped jimmy get the job. how he wished he died first. how his crew didn't deserve it-#and *if* he makes it out. the surviors guilt. the trauma and the pain it would still chase him for the rest of his life#damn. in any sueing case the company could use him being traumatized and vulnerable to make him agree that it was all his fault-#I swear the rest of the time I imagine a what if AU where Jimmy gets yeeted into space by Swansea and they all live happily ever after#this is basically a fic at this point and I'm so sorry but I wrote too much to delete it all now in a state of post revision clarity lmao#me being a dumbass#mouthwashing#tw death#Ideally Anya would be the one throwing him into space. And Swansea would help her bc honestly fuck Jimmy#Curly would be held at arms length until they've gone back home. only left there to pilot them back safely#long ass post#long ass tags
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I love Pikmin I love Pikmin I love Pikmin !!!!!
#doodle#pikmin#all of my tags got deleted :(#basically#im really hyped for pikmin 4 its looking REAL COOL#no icemin or glowmin cus i didn't want to draw them#also no bulmins#sorry bulmin stans#sometime i wish i was a pikmin
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My toxic trait is that I can write 10k word analysis about bakugo and midoriya in max 1,5 hour but can not write analyses about some people in 2 weeks bc I don't feel like Im professional enough to write that for psychology class homework
#The homework is due to 13 hours later btw#I used to code my hand writing while doing analyses and writing fics bc I didn't want my mother to find out when I was in middle school so#I just get used to it#And now Im doing the same thing again#Maybe I can blabbwr something about patient confidentiality and#Since our teacher also talked about that maybe she'd like it#I started to get delusional yey#No chewswick you will not get your cigarettes#one flew over the cuckoo's nest#Yeah Im doing analyses about them#I wish she would teach us about writing analyses professionally before giving us the homework#AaaAAAaaaA#Im gonna delete this soon but I just wanted to get this off from me
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My dad and I were chatting before bed when he said "damn shame Republicans hate Democrats too much because you almost saved the United Healthcare ceo"
And I stared at him in confusion until I remembered I convinced Democrats to write the active shooter alert system bill in 2022 & Republicans said no. Since my Twitter is gone, the thread of me @ everyone is gone. And when Trump got re-elected, I removed the video discussing the bill concept for public comments. It fully slipped my mind because I went from pulling teeth & being reluctantly patient to full on cussing, cursing, and hexing the government by the end of 2023.
I hope that Twitter DC staffer is having a good laugh- I bet their bosses are pissed wwwwww
I don't remember the exact wording I wrote to the White House when I cussed out Biden for funding war crimes (2023) & the bill itself (2022) but I did list consequences I foresaw that are happening now, so suck to suck if nobody listened & are on the receiving end of massive hexes
I guess my dad is right, the GOP technically killed Brian Thompson in 2022
#mun post#the downside of being a death witch with foretelling and pattern recognition is nobody listens until it's too late#the fed collectively moving to shut down tiktok after i cussed them out was their biggest mistake with public relations so I already#hexed and cursed many of them - they should've never fucked with Death#168 Republicans killed Brian Thompson because nobody wanted to hesr me out except th3 handful who still are at DC trying to fix the mess#i wish them the small handful the best because being inside doesn't mean they can do major change when their bosses are for greed and wealt#over democracy and the well being of the masses#o7 active shooter alert system bill- you will be deeply missed#united healthcare#and since all the public comments and thread information are deleted- Congress is on their own to figure out what to do- I refuse to assist#unless they send me 100M and total protection from all military practice and weapons testing on the US public#my dad was like WTF YOU FORGOT#and i was like WELL TO BE FAIR WOULD YOU GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T HEWR YOU OUT#and he was like YOU KNOW WHAT? FAIR- THEY SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO YOU- NOW THEY GOT EVERY CEO ON THEIR DOORSTEP BEGGING FOR PROTECTION#like i hexed everyone complicit in genocide qnd democide with ironic death#the gods and the people get to decide how it plays out- the engraved bullets is sick af#i predicted the wealthy would get shot inevitably in the next 6 yrs- i never said how because that's not my jurisdiction#artemis and apollo only came into my life recently and have doubled down on what i can see and have seen- but Death is gearing up to topple#an empire again and I told people as early as summer 2019 bht nobody cared sooo
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Raiden Shogun | Plane of Euthymia
#turns out my old laptop washed out the colours pretty badly lmao wish i didn't delete the videos so i could redo them :^))))#anyway this looks vaguely out of order but i prommy it's exactly the way it should#genshin impact#videogameedit#gamingedit#gamediting#vgedit#Genshin impact#genshimp#genshinet#genshinedit#gamingnetwork#genshinimpactedit#raiden shogun#raiden ei#Narukami Ogosho#Beelzebul#Baal#shes about as bad with names as taru help#my gifs#my posts
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i wish i could hide individual posts on twitter like sometimes people i like post my gifs (other than the ones i've posted here for everyone to use freely) and i have no more fight in me left to ask people to credit because people over there have been hostile about it (so like, even when the poster is nice about it, i've had "popular" accounts jumping in on conversations they weren't part of to try and claim that crediting other fans for their work was "unreasonable", and in the first place it's pretty 50/50 whether people respond reasonably and add credit or if they ignore and mute/block me so they can continue stealing my gifs without me being sooooo mean and unreasonable and linking to the source i guess) and it's someone i don't wanna unfollow or mute but it just drains my spirit to see that post you know. please let me know if there is a thing like xkit on tumblr that works for hiding individual twitter posts
#🐭📓#like when the “big” accounts have this attitude it's an uphill battle trying to get people to credit gifmakers#the entitlement is so strong#i also wish i could follow more people but more often than not i go to someone's profile bc they seem cool#and the first thing i see are stolen gifs. often my own. so nah#and it's so stupid like people seem to realize that you need to credit fanart videos and edits but why are gifs the exception?#they're also edits they just move. and screenshotting them (lol) doesn't remove the editing either#the default should be to credit if you didn't make it yourself. not just if people ask#anyway i already felt like all ability to write has been drained from me and now i'm closing PS too and i will just. crawl back into bed ig#delete later#but please let me know if like a script or extension exists for hiding individual twitter posts
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saw someone unironically saying "rhinedottir fed nigredo to durin to make nigredo grow better and stronger because durin's stomach is actually nurturing like hummus 😊😊😊" god if you're up there can you revoke this person's rights to speak about rhinedottir, or any morally questionable girlboss for that matter. if you can't accept that a lady had her son swallow her other son whole then just move onto characters who are actually nice instead of rewriting the actually not so good characters to fit your imaginary narrative better.
#rhine rambling tag#rhinedottir#i swear to god no one has it worse than rhinedottir fans we're in the FUCKING TRENCHES#if it's not people claiming rhinedottir is gonna be an eden or black swan or mobius or whatever honkai girl expy#or saying she's a descender because of that one “flower that is not of this world” line WHICH WAS DEBUNKED SINCE 2. FUCKING 3#its people doing olympics levels of mental gymnastics to convince themselves and everyone else that she's not a horrible person.#SHE IS. THAT'S LITERALLY THE WHOLE POINT#god. reminds me of an ex-friend of mine that was 100% convinced scara was a psychopath who would turn evil and sadistic after 3.3#and downright saying that the “little doll” story should have been deleted because it didn't fit THEIR interpretation of scara#that was based entirely in wishful thinking and poor misconceptions that have been cleared up PATCHES AGO.#but they just COULDN'T accept that scaramouche wasn't this inherently murderous goth sadistic mommy kinda character#and called ME and MY FRIEND *DELUSIONAL*#last time i spoke to them they said that neuvillette would never cry because he uhh didnt understand his emotions??? WHAT#THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS MAYBE IF YOU WERENT BUSY CRANKING IT TO SCARAMOUCHE IN NURSE LINGERIE YOU'D ACTUALLY KNOW WHO THE CHARACTERS **ARE**#aight that was quite the tangent#ok new tag#rhine hating
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and dis is my current island line up though i'm fairly early in the play through comparatively to my others bc i mostly just do the dlc but i totally forgot i had cookie and sasha and got so excited when i saw them i set up a fan meeting
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#🐉#toby is a placeholder i mean he's fine#i also forgot i had all 3 of those cats omfg#shino was my number 1 ever since she was borned so i love her#i wish i didn't delete all my switch photos bc i've also done all their houses w the dlc sigh#which was really fun for most of them i just took what their room already was and expanded if#so stinky's is like a waiting room at a hometown wrestling ring#with like just a microwave and camping table and a old couch. you know#i wish u could have everything w the dlc unlocked on harvs island too
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#vent post#ok to rb without screenshotting the tags but idk why you'd do that anyways#I'm once again wishing every fellow adult living with their parents a very 'I'm sorry o7'#mom's getting on my case about 'not wanting to be part of the family'#but if dinners are always silent and uncomfortable with all of us not talking then I think it's normal for me to leave the table#when I'm done eating. it's not 'not wanting to be part of the family' it's just not wanting to be somewhere awkward as hell lmfao#like oh okay sorry let me sit here for another fifteen minutes silently bc y'all ignore every conversation I try to start. jesus christ.#goddddddddddddddddddd fuck the housing market lmao#I love my family but I'd like them a hell of a lot more if I didn't live here#a little distance does wonders#anywaysssss sending love to everyone else who is perpetually stuck at home. esp oldest siblings and ill folk 🤝#we'll get out eventually#no more silent dinners and people who find your optimism and attempts to lighten the mood to be juvenile#stay miserable and pragmatic and 'realist'. no joy or whimsy. fucking whatever. I'm not sinking down to cynicism.#what's the opposite of being the moody black sheep of the family lmao. I'm the only one who seems to enjoy being unserious#ok. vent over but fr anyone else stuck at home when they don't want to be: i love you and we'll figure it out in time. things WILL work out#delete later???
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I'm so fucking tired I already think the holidays are Bad why does everything around me make them Worse
#just. i just want it to stop#i just want to not feel constantly bad#im always either too tired too angry or too sad and im. struggling#i truly wish that killing myself was an option. i know it's not. it hasn't been for a while but I'm so tired i wish it was still#in the last. idk l. 3 to 4 months I've cried at least at much as I've done in the last decade i don't have energy for. a lot of stuff#i just wish things were idk if easier i just wish there were less shit to worry about#i truly wish i could just die. id just add way to many burdens and issues for others that i know i can't do that to anyone#. but i wish i just could. i don't want to deal with anything anymore#... idk it's 2 am and stuff keeps happening no matter how much i try to. just be at least a bit okay i fucking can't#I've been relapsing which like i know it's bad and doesn't help but crying didn't make me feel better either#i truly just. feel or of options at my current state of existing#and trying to find a different one. it's not host complicated. doesn't feel possible. idk#idek what I'm saying anymore#.. it's a post ill be surprised if i don't end up deleting them#it. whatever.#my posts#bc every one in a while if i feel too much like shit i check other times i felt like shit#bc what the fuck is this tag if not me being patheticly sad
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image I love. don't have anything interesting to say about it
#I'm working on making a pete thing so I'm just browsing through my pete collections...#I kind of wish I had catalogued more simple images of people w/o captions back in the day bc idk when I will actually thoroughly rewatch#also my organization went all the way off the rails since I started posting again last year I just deleted like 1000 screenshots because#they weren't titled or sorted or anything they were just in the system Screenshot folder and I didn't think I would ever refer to them agai#what the fuck am I talking about jesus christ#trudy's pantyhose are very obvious here
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wish i found out about 3 releasing closer to launch so i could've gotten it physically. 😔 i mean digital copies are better for yo-kai watch specifically anyways but still would've been cool.
#puppy rambles#yo-kai watch#yw3#didn't find out it came out in america until a year or two after it did-#3 is a masterpiece honestly. also i'm haunted by the fact that whenever i type 3 in the tags here i get#mood if you remove the yo kai watch 3 part#cuz i didn't think i'd like 3 before i actually played it cuz of everything it changed. which tbf it DID change a lot-#still the best yo-kai watch though. just wish it had more save file slots cuz i don't wanna have to delete one-#but i mean it's the biggest 3ds game so. can't fault them for that
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Rereading my own posts about JJK and the tags I left in those posts is making me want to chew wood. I knew virtually nothing but yeah yeah. The parallels between Gojo and Sukuna not only exist, but they are key. Yeah, Gojo indeed knows, trusts and relies on the people around his age he interacts with in that flippant, intimate and vulnerable way (Ijichi, Shoko, Nanami, Utahime); they were his classmates and childhood friends. Yes, Megumi and Gojo do go way back, I wasn't hallucinating it; in the last chapters, this will weight on the scenes in which Megumi laughs and smiles faintly. Yes, Gojo does sincerely care about things and the kids, and tries his best to do good and be good, even if he's also annoying and rude. Yes, indeed it is all very lonely. Yes, indeed there's ontological alienation. Yes, indeed love is like a curse, it is even stated that way. Yes, indeed last words doom, and keep people going; that too is a blessing and a curse, like love is. Yes, there's significance in Gojo using "boku". Yes, "when granted everything, you can't do anything... but just die peacefully" does apply to Gojo's life miserably. Yes, indeed there is a mix of longing for a normal life and being drunk on power, the feeling that one is hindering the future generations and a desire to make it better for them. Yes, indeed it is a mix of selfish and selfless motives. Yes, Gojo musing about Nobara's power being intriguing is indeed shady. Yes, Gojo's death will be done in a way that imply continuity kinda similarly to Cantor's hypothesis on the cardinality of the Continuum. And so on and on. Unfair how well constructed this manga is. Unfair how much wasted potential there is in it too. I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop being frustrated about it all. It's so good. It's so unsatisfactory. The last chapter made me smile because oh it made so much sense, of course; it also broke my heart, because of course. I wish I had never gotten into it. It's given me a lot of joy, despite everything. I've drowned in remembrance. I've had a lot of fun. And in short, I love it, quite honestly. I can't even wish I didn't. I resent it, but I can't even wish I didn't. I love it, it's both a blessing and a curse; but that's how it always goes when it comes to love.
#I can't believe how spot on I was at times and I say this not in the 'heh! I was right!'#but in the 'damn that was planned *and conveyed* from the start'#From time to time people like my posts from last August (how they find them is beyond me)#and it hits me every time just how well constructed some things are enough to foresee what was going to be of them#Still frustrated over many things but for a change I am feeling too lazy to ramble in tags even though I intended to do so initially#I should keep watching the anime#It's been well over a month since I last watched one episode. At this rate I'm going to have to start over#and I don't trust it won't keep me again weeks? a month? to get over the first time Gojo expands his domain#I should also read the manga from beginning to end instead of playing hopscotch because of fear of commitment lol#I do love this after all. I guess the harm's already done#And if faintly I still hope reading the entire thing in order from beginning to end will save Geto's writing for me#because what a waste otherwise#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#Sorry I wish tumblr didn't put this in the general tag after so many tags#but I do want to find this post in the future and compare my past and present thoughts if I do not end up deleting it in a couple days#Jujutsu Kaisen
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The next time I go to try and ask for tech support from the revanced team, someone PLEASE just slap me so I don't do it.
#I don't know if I've ever encountered a meaner dev team for a thing I actually use#Revanced no longer works properly when patched on my phone. Made a reddit post describing such and asked what I should do#and the post got deleted#I posted it because I looked around in the sub and nobody else had posted anything about it recently#Turns out they're deleting ALL posts about this issue with no explanation or warning#Because an image they posted vaguely says 'post a bug report at this link if you're having issues with this patch'#But I didn't realize until after the drama of them nuking my post that that patch was even causing the issue#And I'm also not even welcome in their github because I requested a patch for tumblr and it pissed them off#So I can't do a bug report because I annoy them and they'll delete it#genuinely told the main dev to just ban me from the reddit if there's some kind of issue with me being there#I don't understand why they keep working on this project if people askkng for help pisses them off this bad#I wish there was an alternative. Clearly whatever flavor of what's wrong with me is infuriating to them#I did get it working btw#I had to disable the 'spoof video streams' patch in the revanced settings in the youtube app#But that means my videos could stop playing randomly (not far off from what was happening before; the videos were mostly buffering forever)#I just have to wait until a person who they don't hate comes along and reports it in a way that pleases them so it can get fixed#I won't be participating in debugging since me talking is an issue to them#Revanced#Vent
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