#I started to get delusional yey
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lily-claw · 1 month ago
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My toxic trait is that I can write 10k word analysis about bakugo and midoriya in max 1,5 hour but can not write analyses about some people in 2 weeks bc I don't feel like Im professional enough to write that for psychology class homework
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h7jfangirl · 3 months ago
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WONDERLAND KING!JEKYLL AU IDEA
IM PROBABILY BEING DELUSIONAL BUT HEAR ME OUT
So, we know that Alice exist in tgs universe, she is a ringmaster of a circus with the wonderland fellas as her sidekicks, she appears in chapter 9 and 15
So, WONDERLAND EXISTS in tgs
And also, with this fact, i was listening to this song that is a fan-made song made by Lydia The Bard;
youtube
She has a whole series of videos where she sings and compuse villain songs of alternative evil version of the princess (Female main characters) of Disney. Every songs has their own animatic to ilustrate the idea of this particular escenario where for what reason or another the princess became evil, villains This animatic was made by @lazyeule
(If you dont want to see the video); In this alternative story, Alice is being taking over by the mad forces of Wonderland, she loses her own mind and the senses of self until the point she transforms into the personification of wonderland itself (The real queen of wonderland) and goes to attack the normal world, her once called ¨home¨
So the idea its that this happens to Jekyll
No Hyde, but Jekyll
Imagine this; For some reason, Jekyll and Hyde end up getting lose in wonderland, and so they spend the whole day trying to find a way to return back London. In the way, Jekyll and Hyde can completely seperate from each other (Wonderland its capable to make Hyde have his own body) and so they both decide to go by seperate ways (THEY ARE FREE FROM THE OTHER, YEI!!!). While Edward starts to have a hard time in Wonderland, it seems like Henry its getting to much comfortable in this place... a little bit to much. He starts to change and he is noticing this, sometimes he finds him feeling to joyful or delusional and acting wild and cruel with others! it feels similar like when he used to be Hyde, but thats impossible because he is no longer inside him anymore! unless... something else took his place
But its not like another identity like Hyde was, but these urges and desires, he hears voices everywhere who tells him things and for some reason he often can´t resist them at all, not matter how much he tries to fight them, in the end he is convince to do so and actually find enjoyment in that, a thing that in the moments when he goes back to sanity he finds scary and regretful. And worse, its like the place itself leads him into that way, giving the perfect chances for him to lose control over himself and let it be with no consequences, and full control over others
It seems like Wonderland has chosen Henry
There is a point where Henry gets finally consumed by Wonderland, his view of the world has change and now has the ability to change others at his will, so Henry goes back home and invades all London, why? to change the world as the one he desires, a world where mad science its accepted completely as it its, where Hyde its no longer a part of him, where he dosent have to worry of being evil, and no one cant say anything about him and Robert
Or couse, Alice would help to get Henry back to normal, apperently Wonderland need a host that could take over so its madness would finally expand to other realms, it tried to do it with Alice and failed... it tried with Jekyll and succeded
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gracilicorpus · 1 year ago
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It’s so funny to me that you can go through years of TRAUMA , but as soon as you gain the weight back people never ask you how you feel again or how your days been or like care for you? I understand why people get sickly thin like that’s the only way you get attention and people caring for you.
I’m living alone and I’m going to start my weight lost journey , I’m not even fat or anything, I’m very strong actually cuz I have been hitting the gym for a while and I look very good ngl, like I look “womengly” lol
But I really really badly want to model like realllly bad , that’s been my dream for the longest and I’m really striving for it this time, if I want to model I have to lose like 20 pounds, I have curves so they gotta go, I’m calling it now(yea I know I’m delusional) but my goal is that next winter I will be modeling for diesel( yes yes I know I’m delusional lool, let me be), but that is my goal!!
Living alone has caused me to purge a lot, I binge and purge but that’s to expensive and I have to stop doing that. I’m literally so fkn broke lool #yeycollagelife, but I’m gonna aim to eat 1000 kcal and do as minimum exercise as possible, if I want to eat more I’ll have to walk 10 000 steps, so yeah that my goal and I will make it by may!
I was thinking to seek therapy because living alone has really showed me how fkn fkd in the head I am, like I’m sooo weird man💀 living alone is so scary because I can just do the bad things I have always been wanting to do at home, like I can just openly purge and stuff without locking the wc door or turning the shower on, but I’m so lonely man, I genuinely hate myself and I just want to like me okey and normal, I really thought my problems would go away after I moved but they just in my head, it’s even worse now because I can’t even get my sadness or madness out anywhere, I’m constantly waking around with a lump in my throat, I miss living with my friend because then my eating became so natural, now it’s just rly bad again and I’m either eating to little or binging, it’s just a rlly big problem and I feel so disgusting and ugly and I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ! Like what am I even doing like I’m FKN TRYING why can’t I just be fkn better when I’m actually fkn trying
No one will obv read this but this is me just ranting if someone did lol, this embarrassing af lol, no but ehmmm the only guy I ever liked I decided to push away ! Yeeey like he made me better , I wanted to be better for him and then I was like “nah he ain’t all that” and now I miss him and regret it:) Yey love my decisions
Literally want to just end it all, like I’m such a bad bad bad person. I was thinking maybe overdosing , but it just so mean to my parents, I don’t know what my dad would do like would he be mad at me or like would he become depressed again ? My mom would she like cry everyday forever or would she be strong for her other children. My sister? Would she be happier without me? It feels like she would, by brother they are still young they would probably forget me ina couple years, but like my best friend maaaan I miss living with her , I do think I love her more than she loves me but I’m okey with that because she’s my safe person, when thing were shit home I had her always and she had me, like what would she do? Would she maybe have a picture of me as her lock screen ? Or maybe listen to a song on repeat that she knows I liked ? Honestly I’m really trying for my family and my best friend but I’m just wondering if it’s normal to be this miserable so long, like I’m grown soon and I’m still so out of it, never been in a relationship, never have I done anything out of my comfort zone, I’m just so like I’m just filling up space for no reason, did God make a mistake putting me here, it feels like that,
But yeah mm I’ll update this page, I have no one to talk to so I’ll just post my thought here sometimes :) yeah
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mxstyassasxin · 4 years ago
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Hi!! I’m going to bother you in your asks now too heheheheehe
But I’ve got a little Drarry prompt (I just couldn’t resist):
Draco/Harry having a migraine or just being sick in general?
hey!! this got me out of my angst phase! yey! have some domestically ill drarry getting unexpectedly cared for by narcissa
"Uhh Draco?" Harry squinted blearily across his bedroom.
The slither of afternoon light shining brightly through the curtains sent pain shooting through his temples and he could see stars dancing among the dust motes floating lazily in the air. There was a grunt from under the duvets they had piled on top of themselves last night in a desperate attempt to stave off their fever chills.
"Draco," he tried again. "Seriously. I think your mum's in my room."
"Don't be delusional, Potter. It's the fever. You're seeing things."
The elegant figure of Narcissa Malfoy started moving towards the bed and despite the excess of covers, Harry felt a distinct feeling to cover himself up more.
"I don't think it's the fever," he said warily, clutching the duvets up to his chin.
"I shan't be repulsed by your chest, Harry. You can relax."
Draco jolted upright and moved quickly to shield Harry from his mother's view. A little too quickly judging by the sharp intake of breath and the adventurous words he hissed.
"She's in my house," Harry regretted rolling his eyes when it hurt. "I think it's too late to try hiding me."
"Kreacher told me you were both ill so I brought Draco's special soup."
"Oh no," Draco muttered, covering his face with his hands. "Mother, I'm twenty six years old."
"You're still my son. That doesn't go away."
She sat facing them on the edge of the bed and placed the tray she was holding between them. Harry looked at the two bowls of broth and chuckled when he realised the vegetables had been cut into the shapes of magical creatures. He spotted a dragon of course, and a sphinx. There was a unicorn and he thought that might be a chimera.
"No hippogriff," he teased, nudging Draco with his elbow. He received a scowl as Draco lifted one of the bowls onto his lap.
"That goes for you, too," Narcissa looked at him sternly as she handed him the remaining bowl. "Draco might not have deigned to inform me of your relationship--" at this Draco choked on a mouthful of soup "--but I want you to come to me if you ever need anything, Harry."
He took the bowl from her and she placed the back of her hand on his forehead, her brow furrowing as she did so.
"I shall be back soon with some potions I want you to take. You'll be back on your feet in no time."
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yanderecandystore · 4 years ago
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Yandere endeavor 👉🏾👈🏾
Every time I receive an Endeavor request I get so happy and so worried, like- Am I doing good???
I'll try my best, boo. Thanks for requesting!
Just trying to get through a writing block lol-
TW/Tags: sidekick x pro hero dynamic // absolute bastard // some sort of power dynamic kink happening, I'm sorry boo 😔 // mixed signals and delusional thinking // mentions of future "training" (manipulation and stuff-)
🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭
Chili Pepper [Yandere!Enji Todoroki (Endeavor) x Reader - Headcanon]:
I'm going to make this one an assistant/sidekick type of thing, cause I am a✨hoe✨.
Let's be honest, can you imagine being his sidekick? Can you imagine making a interview with the second biggest pro hero name in the fucking country?
The anxiety of having to not only be in his face telling this powerful brute about your own accomplishments and seeing his unimpressed face as you state your quirk and abilities, but also hearing the following:
"- Show me." He says, with an emotionless expression that started to grow into a frown with each second that passed. You were too confused if not terrified to understand what he was talking about.
"- What exactly?" You hold yourself from stuttering, after all, if he was starting to get mad just by your hesitation to answer him, how would he react if you stuttered?
Probably just as well as he does when someone makes him repeat himself.
Enji wanted to have a sparring session between you two, he wanted to know how your quirk truly functioned against an enemy, which in this case, was the pro hero himself.
Were you taken by surprise? Terrified? Maybe even reconsidered your actions and was begging so that you could go back home instead of having to prove your skills to mother fucking Endeavor?? Yes, yes, absolutely.
But even when things seem tough, one must stay strong and face adversity. So you stood your ground and followed him to a more open room, a room clearly built to prepare the pro hero and keep him in shape.
It felt oddly personal to be in a place like that, a place where a pro hero would train in his alone time before going into any missions, while also being a place for relaxation, as the traditional decoration that was put up in the walls gave you a sense of calm and peace.
Neither lasted long after you noticed your probably-soon-to-be-boss taking his business attire off. His clothes didn't seem to fit him too well, or maybe they were tailored for the sole purpose of leaving little to the imagination, but oh boy, were the ones underneath it just as if not more glued to his chiseled body-
Like I said, this felt all oddly personal. You felt like you were being a little attacked right now, the way his eyes seem to disapprove of every little thing you did, the way he was impatiently waiting for you to take your coat off.
You felt even worse knowing that even if you have a good enough reputation and enough proof of your accomplishments to show him, Enji didn't seem to believe any of that. You showed how your quirk worked while you were in his office, you didn't attack him, heavens no! You just showed how it worked.
That didn't mean nothing to him, apparently. He wanted to make sure his sidekick was someone fitting to work by his side, if you were worth nothing then he would have disqualified you a long time ago. He knows you are worth something, that you're a worth of being tested and trained into the perfect form of yourself.
So yeah boo, he ain't holding back-
Enjoy will not let this be a peaceful job interview for you, like- At all! You're a hero now, act like one, defend yourself from him, be stronger than this and defeat him!
He keeps saying that to you, saying how you should be able to overpower him, yet you didn't, you couldn't! He wasn't going to give you a chance.
It was as if he wanted to give you hope bit by bit, and then snatching it away again and again. You fell for it a couple of times before your body had given up.
You were tired, sweety, with a truck-man on top of you mocking your lack of skills and strength. The position was uncomfortably close and once again, extremely personal-
He kept wondering if for some reason you weren't taking the application to be his sidekick as serious as he was. He kept wondering if you were holding back either because you thought he would pity you, or that you would hurt him if you used your quirk to its full potential.
Neither of the scenarios happened. What happened was that he beat you in his own little game and was now savoring his victory although unconsciously.
He probably didn't notice how much he was enjoying this, or maybe he did notice but continued with it anyway. Keeping you pinned down against the wooden floor while mocking your lack of strength and belittling you as a hero.
Yet you didn't really care since you were blacking out, each mean word that he had thrown at you felt like nothing. It all felt like a weird nightmare about being called out by your boss.
Just as all the mean comments passed through your head without any impact, the good ones also fell flat into the void of your subconscious mind.
He did compliment you, oh he did! At least he tried. Your technique was lacking yet he could easily teach you to improve. You did have a powerful quirk and s sense of justice that made him quite… Jealous, if you will.
Enji did take in consideration your overall work as a hero before calling you to show him your moves. He actually has been paying close attention to you ever since you were rising as a small hero. So although he was impressed, he still felt the need to test your limits.
And maybe he also wanted to do this for a long time. He would be lying if he said you didn't put up a fight against him, it was a satisfying fight to him, but probably not for the morally right reasons.
Indeed, this was probably not a conventional job interview. It would probably be considered inappropriate, he didn't care though. He felt like this was a good start for something greater than you were planning.
Maybe you had other plans in mind, his sidekick being only the start of them, but, he also had bigger things waiting for you. At least in his head, they were bigger and better. You'll see, you're going to love it after you stop being his sidekick.
He'll make sure you'll appreciate the day he offers you to stop working under his name, to actually be something… more, to him.
Something more appropriate and fitting for someone like you, it would be a terrible idea to let a gem such as you be something as lowly as his sidekick.
It may seem fitting at the moment, but after he properly trains you, you'll be too perfect to stay as that.
Whenever you get up after a hell of an exhausting fight, you'll learn that you did get the job, yey!! You just needed to get knocked out to get to be his sidekick, how… Lovely?
Probably working under his guidance won't be so bad or weird as that interview.
🍭꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍰꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡🍮꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖🍭
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leportraitducadavre · 4 years ago
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At least Hinata can actually get her man to not leave her for over a decade and Naruto didn't try and kill her, Sakura is such a soy-filled cuck that she just lets Sasuke run her over. They're not even in the same league. NaruHina: Relationship GOALS
Oh my god you still have energy for this? Bitch were did you get the idea that I like SAS*SAKU?! I fucking loathe that ship, and guess what? I hate Nar*Hina too! So you can stop comparing them both because both are trash, both are awful, and both Naruto and Sasuke deserve better than those two fan girls who did nothing but pitty them into fuck them.
Go to your little ship tag to enjoy the fillers that you desperately need in order to give Hinata something close to a freaking good characterization, and leave me, my blog, and my readers alone.
Look at you, you're so insecure that you need to come to an anti blog to start an argument about why your ship is better than the garbage of SS, like I fucking care. Hinata is an awful person who manipulated Naruto emotionally so he would give two fucks about her, but hilariously she ended up needing a spin off to actually do it. Great work there, hime.
Hinata is an EGOISTICAL character who only cared for her feelings for Naruto, letting her clan SLAVE people like Neji, having the nerve of calling him brother while she did NOTHING about the seal that FORCED him to obey her.
Don't come here trying to make me believe that the "Na-Na-Naruto-kun" stalker had some relevance for the plot or is better than Sakura, because even Shino had more depth than her.
I tag correctly my posts, and even indulged you by replying to you respectfully, but no, you still come at me with the stupidest come backs like I fucking ship SS. How delusional are you? I really hope you're a troll, because other wise I worry about your health, honestly.
Like I said, you need to literally compare NH to the worst possible ship in existence on the Narutoverse to see SOME positive light on it. Naruto doesn't care for Hinata, or his offsprings, he didn't go away for ten years (Yey!) He's still barely home, he even wants to go with Sasuke.
If NH is your "relationship goals" then honey, I need to tell you, you are aspiring for the bare minimum. Oh, Naruto doesn't cheat on her! Oh, then that must mean he loves her and that he's happy! Like LMAO, do you even know what a healthy relationship is? Do you think not arguing makes them better? Pf, please.
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ashes-0f-phoenix · 6 years ago
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I wanna overshare. So, tonight's dream.
The first half was regular dream stuff, spaceships and aircrafts and flying to a village surrounded by forests and decaying skyscrapers. Then suddenly, while I was in a village house, it turned into my house and a friend of a friend came to visit. Now I've never even seen this person before and only spoke for like 5 minutes irl, but I know they have the same problem I want. And they go ,,oh our friend xy told me to come and talk to you" and I was like, yey, that's really cool, because thank god I don't have social anxiety in my dreams at least and am not afraid of people.
So we start talking about something, idk what. They were a really nice person. I could even hear my own voice and my shitty accent (we were talking in english in the dream - my dreams ate bilingual, lol). At some point they told me they actually wanted to ask me about what happened to me because our friemd xy wants to know.
So I start saying the things, I say two, and then when I'd get to that thing, I can't get the word out of my mouth. Physically unable to say it. I just can't.
So the person is clearly disappointed because what I said was nothing too bad, and starts talking about something else. I spend the rest of the night trying hard to tell them the third thing, I just really really want to tell someone at that point, I never even said it out loud before. But I can't. I can't say the goddamn word.
I ask the person how they found me anyf
way, and they show me this ad they found online. Thrns out my own mother put out an ad of me as ,,delusional" because apparently in dreamland it's normal to advertise who is mad so people can find them and ask them stuff and watch them do things. That obviously pisses me off. These ads are sorta like wanted posters. A picture of the person, under it their personality traits and ,,type of madness" and where to find them. That really pisses me off. My own mother did that.
By the time the person leaves, I still haven't told them the word. I just can't. Like irl.
The dream shifted into another one about some underground school cafeteria.
I woke up with the thought of ,,they had it so much worse, they wouldn't have taken it seriously if you told them anyway".
So yeah, that's an example of how my dreams are designed to fuck with my emotions. :P
My dreams are purposefully attacking me, I swear to god. They are carefully and specifically crafted to mess me up, and it’s always these ones I remember the most. Coincidence? Probably not.
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hopevalley · 6 years ago
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All these deluded Hearties on the FB page who are like 'they have left the door open for Lorigail to return- yey!' Ummm no folks - not a chance. They start shooting s7 in a few months time and her legal dramas will be far from resolved by then and who knows if the show will get a season 8? Lori wants to go to trial to clear her name but a trial can take YEARS! WCTH don't have that kind of time to waste on her sorry ass!! *excuse my french but she grinds my gears majorly*
They’re completely delusional. If they’ve left the door open, it’s for a recast for the role, not for Lorigail to make her return.
And being slightly more realistic, they left it open because killing her off after just killing Jack would be an absolutely insane and stupid choice; sure, the excuse to cart Abigail off the show was weak and incredibly out of character, but they had to do what they had to do. At least it wasn’t worse.
I can’t stand willful ignorance by fans or anyone. FB is full of that kind of nonsense; thank goodness I don’t use it for anything but a photo change every few years. :’)
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thespearnews-blog · 8 years ago
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Are the Nuer and Dinka's the major problem of South Sudan?
New Post has been published on https://thespearnews.com/2017/06/19/nuer-dinkas-major-problem-south-sudan/
Are the Nuer and Dinka's the major problem of South Sudan?
A concerned South Sudanese preferring anonymity has E.mailed us a dossier in which he presented what he sees as the major cause of the countries problems and solutions. We reproduce it here:
The Jäng (Dinka) and Näädh (Nuer) are the biggest problem in South Sudan and we should acknowledge this to begin with.
The two are the quickest to resort to violence when aggrieved. The two are the contributors of the most corrupt. The two are most determined to teach the rest of the country that violence is the answer.
The list of negativites can go on and on. Let us not run away from facts my people.
Having recently seen the new money-making militia venture in Awiel, those NCP stooges and scumbags, a rational person would acknowledge that, We, the Jäng and Näädh, are the problem. Most of the members of these ethnics are the ones who create bigger problems to solve smaller problems.
The two constitute the biggest chunk of South Sudan’s populace, over 60% (2008 Census). The two constitute the biggest number of militias and warlords ever in South Sudan or even in East Afrika minus Somalia.
  We have unashamedly or inadvertently assumed the role of “New Arabs” and “New Northerners” of South Sudan. We are creating new “Southern, Western and Eastern Problems” of our country. We have created “New Arab Elite Groups”, the “New Mahdis” of the South.
Those are “Garang’s Boys”, “Salva Kiir’s Boys” and “Riek’s Boys”, Oyee Boys, Viva boys, “Trusteeship Boys”, etc. The BIG difference is that these elite groups ferociously fight among themselves in struggle to grab power. Power to do what? Just to be Bany or Kuor, that is all.
We fight between ourselves as Jäng Vs Näädh and within each group. Even at the lowest
Nuer & Dinka artistic fight
points of our times, we can’t afford to stay away from Jäng-Jäng and Näädh-Näädh deadly fights. So, at the height of the conflict and even when we are victims of the same situation we are seeking an escape from, we fought as Bul-Lou in POC Sites, We fought as Twic-Boor in UN Camp in Uganda, etc.
Even when we are now cornered by economic collapse and risks of famine, we are fighting as Apuk-Aguook, we are shopping weapons from North Sudan to fight as in Awiel, etc. Not to mention the looting (it is no longer corruption) by our misleaders, again we are the majority of all South Sudan’s perpetrators in this social evil.
Again, our misleaders are behind these deadly conflicts. They engineer or sustain them. You can’t evade these facts except if you are a delusional, irrational piece of human being. Just imagine, if this size, 60%, was constantly proportional to the positive contribution they make in solving problems of this country as it was in the liberation war (well, this by recognition of facts is your positive contribution albeit with dark spots then and now), that could mean a mammoth progress for our country!
And even that contribution is a fact of “power of numbers”, a proportionality to Jäng-Näädh majority, not some type of exceptional might. You can’t expect Aja or Bonggo ethnics to be capturing towns solely as themselves, small as they are. And as we can see that numbers can do might as in the liberation wars, it is high time we saw that this might should be for bright not night dark aspirations.
Now, I am not saying this to demoralize anyone. I do not intend to make holy others who, by their shear acts, are equally worthy of rebuke. Th rest have their misleaders and endemic looters too. They team up with Jäng-Näädh Oyee boys, Viva Boys, Trusteeship Boys, etc boys too. They are now committing ethnic terrorism on innocent civilians under command of their misleaders. Some of whom out of learning from our violence. Others by their shear ethnic hatred and refusal to ethnic coexistence.
But, we should recognise that, their number is smaller. So small that if the bigger groups start being conciliatory and positive, they can be dragged into, engulfed and overwhelmed by the positivity of the bigger groups. So, again, it comes back to good use of our respective power in our numbers, small or big.
As we can see, we must acknowledge our mischiefs either way. This is the first start in solving our problems. Start with knowing the problem to find the solution. As Einstein said, we can’t solve the problem at the same level at which we created it.
We must jump. Some mad (positively mad) people must jump to some new levels and new ways. We must cease and desist from violence. We need to start this dialogue now, not in the future. We must start, however poor the start, as long as it looks like dialogue, we must give it a trial. That is why ND, poorly initiated as it was, must be given a trial.
President Kiir is not to be trusted anymore, at least not by us the common citizens (divided citizens) who have seen him only appease warlords and quench fire under his presidential seat at the pretext of reconciliation and peace.
But soonest, it is business as usual and our poor people die and suffer the carnage of their decisions or in-decisions. Same deadly fights even in his home base. But, having relinquished the patronage of ND, President Kiir has shown a good gesture even though he has more at stake to offer.
We all, especially we the troublesome Jäng-Näädh, must restore peace and dialogue into our dictionaries.
We must sincerely and genuinely dialogue. To do so, angels will not fall from sky to officiate it. It will not come like processed gold and diamond. Each one of us must lower themselves in the mud to get the gold and diamond. Some will clean it and others will process and admire it.
At the end of it, everyone should accept their failures whether as Oyee, Viva or Trusteeship, Kiir or Riek. Oyeeism, Vivaism and Trusteeship work no more. That is a fact! Accept it, pave the way for a new beginning and quit. Yes, all of you! People don’t trust all of you anymore in all your various groups, labels and luring tongues.
Citizens are exhausted. I am frustrated. I want to tour my country across and wide. I want to go to Akobo and Ezo without being targeted. I want to travel from Yei to Abyei without fearing for my life. I want to work on progressive ideas for my country, for my community and for my God damn self positively and gracefully.
I want to network on developmental projects with my countrymen and countrywomen without being seen in ethnic lenses. I want to explore the beauty of my country, the wildlife in Boma, etc.
I want to live and celebrate the beautiful cultural diversity of my country in the countryside and urban. I want to experience once again the hospitality, humility and generosity of our South Sudanese rural people now disappearing under the actions of misleaders.
I am tired of bad breaking news! Find me gun-men. I will give you peace and a piece of humanity. I am hu-man. You are hu-man. Yes, you man! Yes you womb-man! DONE! –
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thespearnews-blog · 8 years ago
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Is South Sudan's major problem the Nuer and Dinka's?
New Post has been published on https://thespearnews.com/2017/06/19/south-sudans-major-problem-nuer-dinkas/
Is South Sudan's major problem the Nuer and Dinka's?
A concerned South Sudanese preferring anonymity has E.mailed us a dossier in which he presented what he sees as the major cause of the countries problems and solutions. We reproduce it here:
The Jäng (Dinka) and Näädh (Nuer) are the biggest problem in South Sudan and we should acknowledge this to begin with.
The two are the quickest to resort to violence when aggrieved. The two are the contributors of the most corrupt. The two are most determined to teach the rest of the country that violence is the answer.
The list of negativites can go on and on. Let us not run away from facts my people.
Having recently seen the new money-making militia venture in Awiel, those NCP stooges and scumbags, a rational person would acknowledge that, We, the Jäng and Näädh, are the problem. Most of the members of these ethnics are the ones who create bigger problems to solve smaller problems.
The two constitute the biggest chunk of South Sudan’s populace, over 60% (2008 Census). The two constitute the biggest number of militias and warlords ever in South Sudan or even in East Afrika minus Somalia.
  We have unashamedly or inadvertently assumed the role of “New Arabs” and “New Northerners” of South Sudan. We are creating new “Southern, Western and Eastern Problems” of our country. We have created “New Arab Elite Groups”, the “New Mahdis” of the South.
Those are “Garang’s Boys”, “Salva Kiir’s Boys” and “Riek’s Boys”, Oyee Boys, Viva boys, “Trusteeship Boys”, etc. The BIG difference is that these elite groups ferociously fight among themselves in struggle to grab power. Power to do what? Just to be Bany or Kuor, that is all.
We fight between ourselves as Jäng Vs Näädh and within each group. Even at the lowest
Nuer & Dinka artistic fight
points of our times, we can’t afford to stay away from Jäng-Jäng and Näädh-Näädh deadly fights. So, at the height of the conflict and even when we are victims of the same situation we are seeking an escape from, we fought as Bul-Lou in POC Sites, We fought as Twic-Boor in UN Camp in Uganda, etc.
Even when we are now cornered by economic collapse and risks of famine, we are fighting as Apuk-Aguook, we are shopping weapons from North Sudan to fight as in Awiel, etc. Not to mention the looting (it is no longer corruption) by our misleaders, again we are the majority of all South Sudan’s perpetrators in this social evil.
Again, our misleaders are behind these deadly conflicts. They engineer or sustain them. You can’t evade these facts except if you are a delusional, irrational piece of human being. Just imagine, if this size, 60%, was constantly proportional to the positive contribution they make in solving problems of this country as it was in the liberation war (well, this by recognition of facts is your positive contribution albeit with dark spots then and now), that could mean a mammoth progress for our country!
And even that contribution is a fact of “power of numbers”, a proportionality to Jäng-Näädh majority, not some type of exceptional might. You can’t expect Aja or Bonggo ethnics to be capturing towns solely as themselves, small as they are. And as we can see that numbers can do might as in the liberation wars, it is high time we saw that this might should be for bright not night dark aspirations.
Now, I am not saying this to demoralize anyone. I do not intend to make holy others who, by their shear acts, are equally worthy of rebuke. Th rest have their misleaders and endemic looters too. They team up with Jäng-Näädh Oyee boys, Viva Boys, Trusteeship Boys, etc boys too. They are now committing ethnic terrorism on innocent civilians under command of their misleaders. Some of whom out of learning from our violence. Others by their shear ethnic hatred and refusal to ethnic coexistence.
But, we should recognise that, their number is smaller. So small that if the bigger groups start being conciliatory and positive, they can be dragged into, engulfed and overwhelmed by the positivity of the bigger groups. So, again, it comes back to good use of our respective power in our numbers, small or big.
As we can see, we must acknowledge our mischiefs either way. This is the first start in solving our problems. Start with knowing the problem to find the solution. As Einstein said, we can’t solve the problem at the same level at which we created it.
We must jump. Some mad (positively mad) people must jump to some new levels and new ways. We must cease and desist from violence. We need to start this dialogue now, not in the future. We must start, however poor the start, as long as it looks like dialogue, we must give it a trial. That is why ND, poorly initiated as it was, must be given a trial.
President Kiir is not to be trusted anymore, at least not by us the common citizens (divided citizens) who have seen him only appease warlords and quench fire under his presidential seat at the pretext of reconciliation and peace.
But soonest, it is business as usual and our poor people die and suffer the carnage of their decisions or in-decisions. Same deadly fights even in his home base. But, having relinquished the patronage of ND, President Kiir has shown a good gesture even though he has more at stake to offer.
We all, especially we the troublesome Jäng-Näädh, must restore peace and dialogue into our dictionaries.
We must sincerely and genuinely dialogue. To do so, angels will not fall from sky to officiate it. It will not come like processed gold and diamond. Each one of us must lower themselves in the mud to get the gold and diamond. Some will clean it and others will process and admire it.
At the end of it, everyone should accept their failures whether as Oyee, Viva or Trusteeship, Kiir or Riek. Oyeeism, Vivaism and Trusteeship work no more. That is a fact! Accept it, pave the way for a new beginning and quit. Yes, all of you! People don’t trust all of you anymore in all your various groups, labels and luring tongues.
Citizens are exhausted. I am frustrated. I want to tour my country across and wide. I want to go to Akobo and Ezo without being targeted. I want to travel from Yei to Abyei without fearing for my life. I want to work on progressive ideas for my country, for my community and for my God damn self positively and gracefully.
I want to network on developmental projects with my countrymen and countrywomen without being seen in ethnic lenses. I want to explore the beauty of my country, the wildlife in Boma, etc.
I want to live and celebrate the beautiful cultural diversity of my country in the countryside and urban. I want to experience once again the hospitality, humility and generosity of our South Sudanese rural people now disappearing under the actions of misleaders.
I am tired of bad breaking news! Find me gun-men. I will give you peace and a piece of humanity. I am hu-man. You are hu-man. Yes, you man! Yes you womb-man! DONE! –
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